#AND THAT EVERYONE IS ALWAYS WELCOME TO COME INTO MY INBOX AND CAPSLOCK AT ME ABOUT THEIR FAVS

[kaikamahine]

"It's got to be weird to find your own body inadequate where it's never been inadequate before" SHOOT ME, THIS TAG IS JASPER, THIS IS HER CHARACTER, HER BEAUTIFUL, HORRIBLE, FLAWED CHARACTER. THIS I JASPER BEING TOLD SHE IS THE PERFECT SOLDIER BECAUSE BETA WAS A DISASTER AND SHE WAS THE ONLY THING RIGHT ABOUT IT. THIS IS JASPER CREATED TO FIGHT, LOSING TO THE ENEMY. THIS IS JASPER TASTING THE POISON THAT IS POWER, AND EVERYTHING SHE IS, IS SUDDENLY NOT ENOUGH. HOLY BALLS I WANNA FIC IT SO BAD

“THE WEAK MUST BE PURGED,” she says to Amethyst in Earthlings.

And she says it standing in the heart of her native land – surrounded by the crooked holes that had once housed her fellow kindergartners, who were forged stunted and misshapen, forged sideways, and thrown into a war despite their clear disadvantage and who are all gone –

(– and I will bet you two doughnuts that Lapis was not Jasper’s first fusion. I will bet you two doughnuts that Jasper’s commanders saw her and said, “what a damn shame we have to resort to cheap tactics, but if we fuse her with the weaker ones maybe we’ll get one worthwhile body out of this mess.” I will bet you two doughnuts that she fused, and fused, and fused, and felt her kindergartners’ awareness of their own inadequacy, felt their fear and misery, and didn’t know how to comfort them because it was war, and lost them anyway.) 

“THE WEAK MUST BE PURGED,” she says to Amethyst.

And she says it standing in front of her horrific menagerie – all her imprisoned, corrupted gems, because hey, if Lapis could find her unquestionable, unbeatable core of strength by collaring a weaker gem and pinning her down, then maybe it will work if Jasper does it, too.

(– and then she can stop feeling like this, right? Her body was the only thing that set her apart from the rest of her army, it’s why she survived and they did not, and if she doesn’t have that, what does she have.)

“THE WEAK MUST BE PURGED,” she says –

And she’s talking about herself.