#@dearophelia

[that-wildwolf]

Fic first line tag game thingy

Rules: post the first sentence of your last ten fics. If you haven’t written ten fics, share as many first sentences as you have.

I was tagged by @dearophelia (thank you!) and I am tagging @tigereyes45 @whiskynorocks and @nicolasadrabbles :)

Edge of Yesterday [mass effect, shepard, amnesia, post-canon, ongoing]

The train cut through the empty field like a bullet flying through the air, making minimal noise, not even scaring the animals that were already used to the sound that often accompanied the train tracks in this area.

Happiness Is A Warm Blanket [mass effect, garrus, anxiety and comfort]

Garrus closed his eyes as he softly rubbed his face against the cool surface of the fish tank.

In The End [mass effect, shakarian, 3+1 things]

Garrus turned back to steal one last look at the ship docked at the landing pad behind him.

Since You Appeared [mass effect, garrus, pining]

Garrus Vakarian had never really thought to research human social norms.

Love is an Echo [mass effect, shakarian, post-canon]

Shepard wakes up to silence.

not the same without a gun [goncharov (1973), katya, relationship study]

Katya scoffed at the couples swaying on thze dance floor to the rhythm of the music.

Patience is Sorrow's Salve [mass effect, shakarian, moving on]

"Home sweet home," Shepard mutters into Garrus's embrace.

Black and White, Shadow and Light [mass effect, shepard, garrus, opposites attract]

From the first moment she meets him, she can't help but stare.

i wanna see you dance again [mass effect, shakarian, slow dancing in the kitchen at 2am]

Rain is pounding harshly on the glass of the windows and splashing loudly against the roof of the porch as Shepard sits in her chair and unenthusiastically looks around.

you acted shy [carole & tuesday, post-canon, first kiss]

"Carole?"

Yeah I like starting fics with "Garrus" sue me😅

[tarysande]

Going back through the Mass Effect tags in my own blog looking for things reminds me of just how many insightful questions and beautiful prompts @dearophelia sent me over the years; so many of my thoughts about this game were clarified and expanded upon because of her.

I still can't believe she's dead. Can't believe BioWare's about to release a game she'll never play and have Opinions about. Because damn, did I always love her Opinions.

And at the same time, I am so fucking grateful that we were friends for so long, and that I have all these little snapshots of her beautiful, clever, diabolical storyteller's brain caught in this amber, and that as long as I'm alive, some part of her will keep living on, too.

[swaps55]

I lost my friend to cancer yesterday.

I’d really like to tell you about her.

We meet people throughout our lives who change it, in big ways and small ways, and ways we will never forget. Sara/ @dearophelia was one of those people for me.

I met her here, on tumblr, about 10 years ago. I wish I could remember what piece of writing I stumbled onto first, but she was such a gifted writer that I immediately wanted to see more. I somehow wound up following her live blog of a road trip, which was full of uproariously snarky jokes about Ohio. I had the courage to reach out and tell her how funny I thought she was, and how great her username was to this fellow Mass Effect fan who lived right down the road in Kentucky and got all the Ohio jokes.

We talked. We chatted. I introduced her to a group of people I played Mass Effect 3’s multiplayer with. She grew from a level one first-timer to a total badass who could carry a team and taught other people how to do the same thing.

And then my life fell apart.

Everything fell apart for me. Turning to my family wound up being a catastrophe, and I didn’t have local “real world” friends I could turn to.

So I texted Sara. Told her I needed somewhere to go, and asked if I could stay with her that weekend.

She texted back, “Yes.” Sent me her address, and said to ping me when I got there. She didn’t hesitate. She didn’t ask why. She just gave me shelter. So I showed up on her doorstep, and she listened while I told her everything. She didn’t judge me. She didn’t think I was insane. She had every right to think both things. Instead, she gave me safe harbor at a time when I had no control over my life and didn’t know what was going to happen to me.

For the next several months, I made frequent trips up I-75 to Ohio. She kept an air mattress out for me. We played multiplayer. We talked about Mass Effect. We talked about life. We bitched about all the people who hated on one of our favorite characters. She introduced me to Babylon 5. I have so many memories of sitting on the couch in her apartment, with her cat Odo crawling around behind my head. When I eventually pieced myself together enough to leave Kentucky and start the work of starting over, it meant leaving behind that sanctuary with her in her apartment, and it was something I had to grieve along with everything else.

And now I am grieving it again, and so much more. I am so lucky I was able to fly back to Ohio a few weeks ago while I had the chance. Hugging someone goodbye, knowing it’s the last hug you’re going to get….well, it sucks.

But I got that hug.

Sara was so many things. She was a gifted storyteller with entire worlds in her head. One of the weekends I stayed with her, she had recreated the Mass Effect galaxy map on her wall with notecards and string to help her tell a story. She could create a character and make you fall in love with them in a matter of sentences. Because of her stories, I binge watched all ten seasons of Stargate SG-1.

She was also not afraid to unapologetically be herself. I had a lot of things to learn and unlearn about the world, feminism, gender, and sexuality, especially in those days. Listening to her fight for her space in the world and refuse to be told she was anything less than who she wanted to be helped me learn some of the things I needed to learn, and embrace the things I discovered about myself.   

She loved music. She made the best fucking playlists. She taped inspirational notes around her condo. She sent me a set of coasters that say, “Fuck It,” and “Nah,” and I use them every single day. Her smile was gorgeous. She lit up a room.  

And now she’s gone. I won’t see her in my tumblr notes anymore. I won’t see her on my dash. I won’t get pinged with new Odo photos. She won’t get to hear the new music I listen to that shows up in our Spotify blend. I won’t get to talk about the next Mass Effect game with her. I won’t get any more Ao3 updates in my inbox.

I wanted you to know about her – this pocket friend of mine who impacted my life in ways that I won’t ever forget.

I hope you will read her stories. Listen to her playlists. She was a brilliant human being. She should still be here. She isn’t.

And I miss her.  

[faejilly]

75, 85, 95 for Spotify Wrapped!

75: Non, je ne regrette rien (Edith Piaf)

85: The Book of My Life (Anoushka Shankar/Sting)

95: If I Ever Lose My Faith In You (Sting)

(I would like to claim that you found the only two Sting songs on there, but I was feeling nostalgic for a teenage!jilly favorites this year... and my comfort music is apparently Sting & a really odd combination of assorted jazz collections. No, I don't get it either. 😅😅😅)

[swaps55]

All of Sara's work is amazing, but these are a couple of my personal favorites:

waves are universal (the heaven in hiding remix) (Sam/Jack; I’m very Normal about this fic; time travel and alternate realities, a host of OCs (and some familiar faces from Norafic if you look closely), oh and the Sam/Jack kid from the alternate reality! Only she’s an adult and working on a way to save the world! This has it all, folks: humor, romance, angst, action! I told you I’m Normal about it; 40k) across the sky (Susan/Liara; how to make the Control ending feel good) anthem (Liv/Garrus, Hannah/Zaeed, Liv+Liara; eight months is a long time without each other; angst with a happy ending (I promise); post-Destroy; 13k)

She was an incredible writer. She lives on in her stories.

best of sara's fic, according to her

Because I’m feeling some kind of way about my cancer lately and wanted to put together a Sara’s Greatest Fic Hits while I’m still around to do it (which is a morbid thing to type, but see the intro: been feeling some kind of way lately).

These range from my most popular fics, to the ones lost to weird posting hours, and everything in between. If I counted correctly, there are 14 fandoms on this list: from Mass Effect and Dragon Age, to Grey’s Anatomy and Stargate SG-1, to The West Wing and Calvin & Hobbes.

I’d appreciate reblogs on this (I am not ashamed to pull the stage iv cancer card here) so it can reach as many people as possible.

I have been writing fic for over 15 years; this is not a short list.

All are rated T or lower unless otherwise indicated. All stories are at or under the 3k mark unless otherwise indicated.

Stargate SG-1:

waves are universal (the heaven in hiding remix) (Sam/Jack; I’m very Normal about this fic; time travel and alternate realities, a host of OCs (and some familiar faces from Norafic if you look closely), oh and the Sam/Jack kid from the alternate reality! Only she’s an adult and working on a way to save the world! This has it all, folks: humor, romance, angst, action! I told you I’m Normal about it; 40k)

strange is the night where black stars rise (Sam; horror! A low creeping sense of doom! The King in Yellow! No, seriously, fuck that planet; 10k)

#sg1wedding (Sam/Jack; their wedding turned into An Event against their will; bets are going down about who would win in a fight: Bra’tac or the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs; also Jack loses his socks; twitterfic from 2012 and technology has definitely Marched On, just read it like an unhinged group chat fic)

phoenix (Sam/Daniel/Teal’c, Sam/Jack, Sam/Jack/Daniel/Teal’c; apocalypse (that I consulted a real live geologist on!); rebuilding in the wake of said apocalypse; team family feelings, kids, and some really shitty neighbors; 38k)

Dragon Age:

joy cometh in the morning (Ariadne; rated M; a host of OCs; mind the warnings; friendship; worldbuilding galore; friendships and mentors and first loves; did I mention friendship and worldbuilding?; 56k)

through the rude wind’s wild lament, and the bitter weather (Ari+Cullen; quiet magic, kind magic, good magic is still new to Cullen)

as the sun kissed the horizon (Ari/Josephine; a relationship in ten moments)

‘til we meet again (Ari+Cullen; platonic sleeping together!)

so hold my hand, consign me not to darkness (Ari; her faith is the core of who she is and, for the first time, Andraste isn’t there; post-Trespasser)

raise your fists up to the sky (Kylie/Krem; it’s Krem’s first day with the Chargers and there’s a naked elf in the middle of camp)

every demon wants his pound of flesh (Krem+Bull; Krem was in the Fade with the Inquisitor and the fear demon had some Things To Say To Him)

black dove (Anaya) & strange little girl (Anaya+Dagna) & dissolving clouds (Anaya+Cullen) (because neurodivergent Inquisitor, friendship, blossoming romance, and three very different takes on blood magic)

skeletons (Zahara+Bull; she is saarebas, he is Ben-Hassrath, and language is important)

children shouldn’t play with dead things (Juliette Amell; she’s always had an easier time with the dead than the living; cw for bugs)

a sorta fairytale (Josephine/Cassandra; flower shop & tattoo parlor AU; 8k)

Mass Effect Trilogy:

gonna set your flag on fire (Nora Vakarian, Liv/Garrus, James/Liara, Liv+Liara, Livfam; action! Humor! Angst! Worldbuilding! OCs!; I am Super Normal about this fic too; I promise everything’s okay in the end, promise, even though it isn’t written yet; Nora is an N3 and has an inactive control chip in her head. She and her team are ordered to investigate a Cerberus facility. It goes, shall we say, awry; 40k)

anthem (Liv/Garrus, Hannah/Zaeed, Liv+Liara; eight months is a long time without each other; angst with a happy ending (I promise); post-Destroy; 13k)

holy ground & dress (Liv/Garrus; ficlets from the night he gets sworn in as Councilor)

brightly shone the moon at night (Liv, Liv+Liara, Liv/Garrus, Livfam; five Christmases in Olivia Shepard’s life; 5k)

the pieces of gold, they light up your eyes & now we’re alone, now we’re alive (Liv/Garrus; the evolution of a relationship)

fighting is said to have reached palaven (Liv/Garrus; please, please let him be alive)

and some things you just can’t speak about (Quentus+Nico; the war)

‘cause i know that it’s delicate (Liv/Garrus; pre-wedding!)

nosce te ipsum (Nico; he likes boys and fanfiction and he didn’t think he’d get his little italicized oh moment)

i will write you love letters if you tell me to (Liv/Garrus; Hannah gives him one of Liv’s notebooks before he goes off to Omega; Garrus does the only thing he can think of with it)

i really need you (Liv/Garrus; James POV during the reunion scene in Priority: Palaven)

you look really tired (Liv/Garrus, Liv+Liara; post-Thessia, Olivia’s not doing well)

hey, so, ground rules (Liv+Zaeed; it’s a lot weird now that he’s dating her mom)

and all the scars you bear are from a previous war (Liv+Quentus; Mom!Liv)

you can hear it in the silence (Liv/Garrus; just a moment, post-war)

this all started because of a bad day (Liv/Garrus; from first meetings to matching rings)

combat, i’m ready for combat & turn on your favorite nightlight (Hannah; she’s a civilian and her daughter isn’t, and she’s bound and determined to know what Liv goes through when her boots hit the ground; Hannah, Zaeed, Liv, and Garrus hit up Armax)

four quarians who never made it back to the fleet (and one who did) (kinda what it says on the tin, honestly. Oh, Tali’s in this!)

everyone’s lost, the battle is won (Evangeline; somewhat predictably, my experiment in getting as many of my team killed as possible resulted in Feelings About It)

across the sky (Susan/Liara; how to make the Control ending feel good)

and yours is in red underlined (Vanessa; The Illusive Man has pissed her off for the last time)

i’m headed straight for the castle (Vanessa; renegade control ending; kneel before your queen)

Mass Effect Andromeda:

for saviours (Tori; ten scenes from a pre-Andromeda life; 10k)

ringing joyful and triumphant (Tori/Liam/Jaal; just some morning fluff)

the thing with the baby angara (Tori/Liam/Jaal; thinking about the future)

the undone and the divine (Tori/Liam/Jaal; the lone single solitary explicit fic on here, give it props for that alone; Liam gets absolutely railed by his partners. That’s it. That’s the fic.)

you’re like the thing that makes the universe explode (Sara Ryder/Suvi, Drack; kid, the only people who don’t know that you like Suvi are people who haven’t met you and Suvi)

this one’s for the torn down, the experts at the fall (Tori+Garrus; one night in the intersection of Victoria Ryder and Archangel; maybe they’re better friends than they both thought)

The West Wing:

a great revelation sigh (CJ; she’s Chief of Staff; ten steps to the apocalypse; the apocalypse source probably didn’t age well, heads up)

it’s in my blood and i won’t give up ‘cause it’s running through my veins (Amy+Andi; it’s Election Day in the future and Amy has nothing to do)

Grey’s Anatomy:

dropsonde (the singers in a lower choir remix) (Addison/Alex, Derek/Meredith, Addison+Derek, Addison+Mark, Mark+Derek; the one that kicked off all the remixes; absolutely off the rails from canon somewhere in S3; budding romances and kidfic and my theory about people being storms and lighthouses; 40k)

scarlet city (Mark/Addison, Burke/Cristina; film noir gangster and detective AU; Addison’s the gangster, Burke’s the detective; literally everyone I could fit into this fic shows up; also Denny is comic relief; 18k)

Misc:

access records (Star Trek Voyager; Naomi Wildman’s holodeck access for the past week; worldbuilding!)

in this twilight our choices seal our fate (the song in the house of night remix) (SVU; Olivia/Elliot; rated M; on the rise and fall of partnership; probably a little too much religious imagery but what the hell else am I gonna do with a minor in religious studies?; 4k)

the end of days job (Leverage; Parker+Eliot+Hardison; the apocalypse job, basically; this one ages well!)

let the only sound be the overflow (D&D; Calia/Kelpie/Edal, aka ot3: fathoms below; the ocean is big and they are not)

we are golden stars above silver seas (we hear echoes from another galaxy) (Calvin & Hobbes; Calvin+Susie; throughout all those years, she never gave up on him; this one went viral on tumblr [LINK] and I cleaned it up for the AO3 version)

lift her, pull her, from the orchids (Grace and Frankie; Grace/Frankie; the one where I invoke the spelling bee)

rocket queens (Babylon 5/Pacific Rim; Susan Ivanova/Talia Winters; look, they’re jaeger pilots, I really don’t know what else to tell you)

the great gig in the sky (Battlestar Galactica; Six; rebirth is painful, she forgets this sometimes)

[vhenadahls]

My best friend is gone.

On July 28th, just before 6pm eastern time, my best friend in the whole world passed away.

She'd been dealing with aggressive, metastatic breast cancer for nearly three years. She hated the "warrior" narrative of cancer because she had no choice - she never would've been that battlefield if there was any justice in the world. People like to say that breast cancer is "the good cancer," and it makes me want to tear my hair out every single time. There's no such thing.

Sara/@dearophelia was one of the best, wittiest, kindest, most incredible people I've ever been lucky enough to meet. We'd been friends for so long that neither of us could ever remember how we met - it almost certainly had to do with Stargate, or Sanctuary, or general Amanda Tapping fangirling, but there was absolutely no way we were going to be able to pinpoint how or when we first met.

We had a habit of trading hyperfixations. I played Dragon Age because of her. She played D&D because of me. I watched Miss Fisher because of her. And so on and so forth.

When I was in Scotland, she was one of the touchpoints back home that got me through. I have a very sharp memory of walking through a dark, nighttime park on my way home from classes after a fight with someone else and Sara telling me that we all have the capacity for cruelty, and it's choosing not to be cruel that is the most important thing. She was trying so hard to be kind, to be the kind of person that others could rely on and look up to, and she succeeded in every way.

She was an incredible storyteller. She had whole worlds in her head that were just as important to me as published fiction, characters I loved so deeply I wrote my own stories about them and gave them to her to show her how much I cared. And she incorporated some of those stories into her own canon.

She loved music, and introduced me to some of the music that I most love. We got to go to a Taylor Swift concert together, pre-pandemic, and we shout-sang and danced in the aisle and gave each other earplugs and laughed for ages about the traffic cop who had no idea how to tell us where to go and talked for ages to make sure she'd stay awake on the drive home.

We talked every single day. For years. We cried, we laughed, we complained, we teased, we pushed each other to be the best we could be, just like best friends should.

And now, instead, every day I'm saying Kaddish for her.

Because she's gone.

And I don't know what to do with that.

May her memory be for a blessing, now and forever.

Please read her stories and listen to her playlists, and keep her memory alive with me.

[starrybouquet]

First ten lines writing meme

I was tagged by @dearophelia a...while ago (oops) and @beterparker more recently - thank you both for thinking of me! <3

Rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written less than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway.

I haven’t posted anything on AO3 since last September, so I’m going to go with the four most recent fics I’ve posted and six WIPs. Most of my WIPs don’t really have a first line yet so I’m just going with whatever sort of fits - a first line of a scene or a summary that I’ve written; stuff like that.

1) Dearly Loved (Stargate SG-1, gen with Sam/Jack leanings)

“What do you want on your gravestone?”

2) Musical Jackets (Stargate SG-1, gen)

Daniel walks into the SGC wearing a jacket labeled O'Neill, causing guards to stare. More guards stare when someone comments and he glances down, "Oh, I must have grabbed the wrong jacket."

3) A Vein to the Heart (Stargate SG-1, Sam/Jack)

Jack was in the middle of reading a Sky and Telescope article on the latest electronic telescopes when he heard the telltale hum of Carter's engine.

4) Pines and Twinkling Stars (Stargate SG-1, Sam/Jack)

For the twentieth time that afternoon, Jack readjusted his baseball cap and sighed.

5) femme!Mav AU (Top Gun, IceMav)

This is the most insane plan Penelope “Maverick” Mitchell has ever come up with, and that's saying something.

6) Campy SJ Top Gun AU (Stargate SG-1, Sam/Jack)

When his son Charlie died, Jack wanted to end it all. Only his RIO, Daniel Jackson, and a mission to protect the people of Abydos saved him.

That mission convinced Jack he still had something to fight for. But since then, Jack has been on the ground only as long as it took to get on the next, most dangerous mission. His stunts and insistence on never leaving anyone behind, no matter the cost, mean that for every mission that takes him a hairsbreadth from death, there's another admiral waiting to ream him out. He'd have been grounded eons ago if not for the fact that he's one of best fighter pilots the Navy has ever seen. It doesn't hurt that his former wingman, Teal'c, is now a three star Admiral. Teal'c finds missions for him, and Jack takes them, no matter the risk, no matter the cost.

7) SJ Regency AU (Stargate SG-1, Sam/Jack)

"Colonel O'Neill."

Jack attempted his most courtly bow. "Lady Samantha."

8) Unnamed time-travel fic (Top Gun, gen)

He appears two weeks into Ice's month-long leave.

9) Ilsa joins the IMF AU (Mission: Impossible, Ilsa/Ethan)

It takes Ilsa about six months to realize that her appreciation for Ethan maybe goes further than appreciation for a colleague. From the first moment they met, she's appreciated the way their communication makes working in a team a relief instead of a hassle. The way she can predict exactly what he's going to do in hand-to-hand and the way they can decide which shooter each of them is going to take out with just a nod.

10) SJ early season tropefic (Stargate SG-1, Sam/Jack)

Sam leaned her head in her hands. "I just don't get why this isn't working."

No pressure tagging @sententiousandbellicose @formerdetective @doodledraw @ladywaffles @justplainmels @havocthecat @i-am-a-stupid-robot @malewifebillcage @pepperf @lightofevolution :)

[vergess]

okay, i have tried three times now to no avail. can you help me with the correct route to get the poly sym/dys/sol relationship? please i’m desperate

Okay, so, I assume you've done Peace With The Gardeners.

SPOILERS FROM THIS POINT FORWARD.

To get the poly ending, you have to:

Do not date Dys when relationship with him reaches 100

But do flirt with Dys when the options arise otherwise

Do flirt with Sym, but do not date him until after this process

Let Dys blow up the wall or the medbay

Set Sol's relationship type to polyamorous (I usually just date Marz and Rex simultaneously then break up with them).

The year after Dys blows the colony and runs (which will be the next month, if he blows the wall during Glow!) Dys will be a boss event in the Wresting Ridges. This dialogue tree is usually where you either convince him to return to the colony, or help him upload to the array.

What should happen is, Sym will "accidentally" (on purpose) call Dys 'beloved' or similar, and Dys will confirm he and Sym are dating. Then you'll get to talk to Sym or Dys individually (you can go back and forth as many times as you like).

Normally, you would have to ask Sym to send Dys home with you. However, because the game remembers you flirted with Dys but didn't date him, you will have a romantic dialogue option to ask Dys to return to the colony with you as well.

Following this tree will establish that Sym is okay with sharing, and you can then take Dys back to the colony.

After this point, you can also start dating Sym.

Alternatively, if you bring Dys home the usual way, then do his 100-friendship event, you can start dating him and Sym after he returns to the colony. However, you'll miss out on all the fun dialogue in the Wresting Ridges event!!

[tarysande]

On Grief. And On Friendship. On Memory. And Love.

When my grandmother died, we didn't have a traditional funeral. We didn't wear black. We didn't sit around, solemn and silent. We told stories. We ate food she would have liked and drank Bailey's with cream. We got to do it together, of course, and we got to cry and hug and mourn and laugh and sing.

I'm sure all of us have heard some version of the phrase "online friendships aren't REAL friendships." I know I have. I've never understood it, either. For me, in all my neurodiverse glory, online friendships are often MORE REAL. Where else can you meet people and immediately jump into all the things you have in common? All the shared loves and hates and hyperfixations? Where else can you just bypass small-talk and, as Anne of Green Gables would say, find bosom friends so quickly? I've met so many online.

I honestly don't remember when I met Sara/@dearophelia. When I look through my tags, I know it's been at least seven years. I'm certain it's been longer because she definitely had username changes. And I am total shit at remembering username changes. More than once, I've told myself I should keep a spreadsheet. I'm pretty sure I've known her almost as long as I've been on tumblr, and that's more than a decade.

When Sara got sick, I finally used that tumblr function that notifies you whenever a blog updates. I wasn't around tumblr as regularly, but I didn't want to miss anything Sara might say. I hoped that one day I'd get the notification that everything was clear, she was in remission.

I didn't. Today, I got what will be the final notification from her blog--@vhenadahls sharing the information that Sara passed away. That there wouldn't be anymore updates. No more reblogs. No more snarky comments in the tags or gushing comments in the tags.

If this were a room and everyone who loved Sara, who enjoyed her fanfic (with or without knowing the woman behind it!), who has listened to her playlists, who played ME3 multiplayer with her, who was in any way touched by her in a way that brought their lives joy, it would be so full. We would all have stories to share. We'd all have memories to relive.

This room would be decorated with labradorite and pink and fat birbs and cats. There would be so much music--Taylor Swift and Halsey and Florence and the Machine and Hozier and so many many others. There would be a million fabulous selfies on the walls of Sara's huge smile and her vulnerability and her bravery. There would be gaming knickknacks and D&D dice and tarot decks and crystals and magic and books on every surface. All her faves would be represented. And it would still only brush the surface of how vibrant she was and how deeply and enthusiastically she loved what she loved.

If this were a room where we could also add all the characters she created, whose stories so many of us loved ... well, it would have to be awfully big. Sara wrote a lot of stories for a lot of fandoms.

And if this were a room where we and her characters were gathered, but we opened the doors for all the characters and stories that Sara helped inspire, helped grow, encouraged and enabled, well, I know a whole lot of my characters and stories would be here, too. I'm sure I decided to create Rose Trevelyan because of some conversation Sara and I had where I was imagining Rose Vakarian-Shepard grown up.

Sara, I'm really sorry I didn't get to finish the Vakarian-Shepard stories before you left. Most writers write for themselves, sure, but often they also write for specific readers. Sara was always one of mine, but I don't think she knew it. I lived for her gushing tag-comments. I loved when she was always so quick to jump in with prompts.

I'm honored that I was someone with whom Sara shared her original fic work. (She also once shared an absolutely horrifying scene with Garrus and Shepard's clones that she cut from Nora's story because it was just TOO AWFUL. In fact, she shared it with me BECAUSE IT WAS SO AWFUL and she knew I'd appreciate it.) In my heart of hearts, I wanted Sara to finish that original story and publish it. I wanted us to be part of each other's group of writer-friends (you know, you always see them thanking each other in their books). Hell, I wanted to have a small press at some point just SO I could publish Sara's stories. I believed in her THAT MUCH.

I love Sara's stories. I love her playlists. I love her blog, with its hodgepodge of interests and loves. I love her imagination and creativity and attention to detail. I love that I can still visit that mind by reading the bounty of work she left behind.

I mean, she made me wholeheartedly buy into a relationship between Shepard's mom and ZAEED.

Sara was one of the constants in my online life over the last decade. Even if we hadn't chatted for a while, I always knew we could pick up again like no time had passed (thanks, ADHD). As I write this, there's a little chat circle on the bottom right of my tumblr screen with her avatar in it and I can't bear the thought of hitting that X button and never seeing it pop up again.

Sara struggled and loved and fought and overcame and breathed and was brave. Not just in the past few years, when she was sick. As long as I knew her. And she didn't let anything stop her. She snarled in the face of it all and wrote stories so beautiful they broke my heart and then pieced it back together again in the same paragraph.

I miss her. I will always miss her. But I'm so happy I got to know her as long as I did. She'll live on in my memories, in my stories, in the characters she helped inspire. She'll live on every time I look at my favorite tarot deck--she was the first person I yelled at when I bought it--and when I see fat birbs and cute-maybe-evil cats. And if that's not REAL friendship, real love, I don't know what is.

[swaps55]

I've been thinking about you a lot today and just hoping things are going okay. I'm still so sorry for your loss.

I really appreciate this. Thank you for the note. <3

It sucks. There's probably something more eloquent I could say, but it just...sucks.

It's so surreal to have your own world rocked and then watch the rest of the world just...continue like everything is normal. And you have to keep doing normal things. I'll think of something and burst into tears at my keyboard while writing up text for a proposal and answering an email from a coworker. Such a bizarre liminal space to be in.

I've lost people in my life, but never one with such a strong digital footprint. It's a gift in a lot of ways. I can read back through her blog. I can scroll back through Discord. I can listen to her Spotify music, read her fic. I'm so grateful I liveblogged a lot of multiplayer adventures, because some of those shenanigans are still there for me to look back on. But right now I'm just so fucking sad that her digital spaces are now a memorial to her, not something living and breathing and changing and...continuing.

One of the songs on her memorial playlist is Vigil from Mass Effect. A while back I saw a post that describes that track as like getting a hug from someone you'll never see again, and I feel that in my bones.

[amaradangeli]

@dearophelia replied to your post “Once I get the current hyperfixation written down...”:

So if you were to recommend *the* Chenford episodes, what would they be?

​Okay, so forgive me because this is actually going to be a THING. So I'll give you the ep and why I think it's important. (Also, this would be a different list if you asked for pivotal Lucy and/or Tim eps as well, so I can do that too, iffen you want.) 😉

1.01 Pilot - Because you meet all the key players, including Chenford. And this ep, especially, does a great job of laying the groundwork for Tim as we meet him.

1.06 The Hawke - This one isn't necessary, but it's a good bonus! There's a great Chenford moment in this that does a nice job of illustrating how Tim and Lucy are progressing.

1.11 Redwood - There's a terrific Chenford moment in this ep that will be called back later, and is also the source of a lot of fandom/fanfic callbacks. It's great.

1.14 Plain Clothes Day - So much awesome Chenford groundwork in this ep. And, if it's the third ep you watch, it's a great check in for where they are vs where they started, because now we're about 2/3 of the way through the intro season.

1.19 The Checklist - Lucy and Tim are really a TEAM in this ep, and it's awesome.

1.20 Freefall - The first real elements of shippiness have arrived!

2.01 Impact - The continuation of 1.20.

2.06 Fallout - Tim and Lucy + mortal peril. I mean, it's good stuff. It's also just a bonus ep, not crucial for getting a good feel for the ship.

2.10 The Dark Side - this is the setup for a critical Chenford ep...

2.11 Day of Death - one of the most critical Chenford episodes. This is serious business.

2.13 Follow-up Day - This is the first time Chenford makes a major life decision because of the other one.

3.07 True Crime - I'm calling this a bonus ep because while it has some awesome Chenford banter, it's not critical to their story.

3.11 New Blood - Lucy's jealous and it's adorable.

3.14 Threshold - This ep includes a pivotal Chenford moment and contains the look that might very well have launched a thousand ships.

4.01 Life and Death - the continuation of 3.14 and includes another pivotal Chenford scene.

4.09 Breakdown - this is a crucial Tim episode made sweeter by some Lucy jealousy. She's finally recognizing she's got feelings.

4.12 The Knock - Hands down, some of the best Chenford scenes.

4.16 Real Crime - Another bonus because great Chenford banter but not crucial.

4.21 Mother's Day - The setup for the season finale, in so, so many ways. And some real great Chenford details heading into the next ep.

4.22 Day in the Hole - there are two storylines. You don't need the Nolan one at all unless you want it. The Chenford storyline is a real hoot and the ship setting sail. This is one to definitely not skip!

All that said, nearly all the eps have Chenford gems, so hopefully, if you're into it, you'll get around to them all! Also, there are some episodes that do character building for Lucy or Tim that I didn't include, that end up being paramount for their overall Chenford story, but don't really affect the general gist of the 'ship-story. But I'm happy to add them in if you're interested!

[faejilly]

Holy shit that sounds amazing 😂😂😂

Re: the replies:

@dearophelia I have in fact heard of Wonderfalls! I never saw it because it disappeared very quickly, but I did hear of it!

I have not heard of Captain Comic, but my obscure first video game had a caveman on a stone unicycle and I am not sure there was even an attempt at a plot? So 1: yours sounds much better, but 2: now I'm gonna have to look for mine?

oh no, I did not think this question through very well 😅😅😅

So I can't make a poll for this, as the point is that I'm asking for obscure random shit

But all the assorted "gateway fantasy" and "formative dragons!" etc. etc. in the tumblr poll memery is making me want to know

What's your favorite formative book/comic/movie/tv show etc. that no one else ever seems to have heard of?

Because the two sci-fi things I thought up when that fantasy author poll passed my dash were

Black Coats from Outer Space Trilogy by Gene DeWeese

There's an alien cat named Dandelion in them, I remember them as being SO FUN. Just look at this nonsense:

AND (as remembered by my mother as I spaced the name and had to ask her) The Time Keeper Trilogy by Barbara Bartholomew

With equally ridiculous covers, though in a completely different style of dated!

SHARE THE RANDOM MEMORIES, PRETTY PLEASE, MY DEARS & DARLINGS!

It's fun, and sometimes I find neat things to read or watch... or the counter is that it's kind of hilarious when someone mentions the thing no one else ever knows and then half their mutuals on tumblr have heard of the thing.

[vhenadahls]

Comfort Movies!

post 7 comfort movies and tag 7 people.

Tagged by @thoughtsofthegirlwiththecurl and tagging: @meticuloussyntax, @dearophelia, @thievesguilding, @swaps55, @kiran-wears-science-blues, @blue-plastic-hairbrush, @dilfsisko, and anyone else who'd like to!

The Sound of Music

The Princess Diaries movies (especially 2)

Mamma Mia movies

The Parent Trap

The Many Adventures of Winnie-the-Pooh

Ocean's Eight

Pitch Perfect (1 and 2, 3 does not exist)

[theoriginalladya]

@dearophelia - SARA, HI! :) Hope this makes you giggle!

I can't believe this all began out of a silly post about ice cream...

BUT CALEB & KAIDAN'S MOOSE IS NOW A THING!

After the war...

It revives with Abby. Because, of course, it does.

That first Christmas after the war, when Shepard is still recovering, before anything is really 'settled' between him and Kaidan (I mean, seriously, we're talking like 4 months after the war; he's barely been awake for two of them) it begins with a mug. No one knows where she gets it and Abby, true to form, isn't telling. ;) Just a thing to cheer the bed-ridden Shepard, still healing after yet another surgery, to up and remind him that MOOSE are a THING (who knew?), especially in the Canadian wilds. (Or, Kaidanadian, as she tells them; Coats just stands off to the side equally proud of her for saying that with a straight face, and hiding the fact he wants to laugh his ass off. He pointedly ignores the glare Caleb sends his way.)

The next year, come holiday time, Niamh, all of nearly six-years-old, goes tearing through the house (Kaidan happens to be home at the time), dragging poor Big Mr. Teddy behind her with one hand, free arm wrapped around a package the postal carrier just dropped off. She runs into the kitchen - smack into Kaidan's knees (ouch!) - heaves Big Mr. Teddy into Papa's chair at the table (he isn't using it since he's standing)(6-year-old logic FTW!) and then sets the box on the table asking Daidi if she can open it. Caleb checks the label - it's to him from an unknown address but the postal stamp is Rio. He has Kaidan scan it just to be safe (Kaidan snickers, but clears it) - then loosens the tape so Niamh has an easier time with it. Out of the wrappings comes...

Squooshy Moose! (a plush I intend to knit as soon as I find my brown yarns) Caleb groans. Kaidan laughs. Niamh squeals in delight, tucks "Mooses (like Mrs. but with an o) Squoosh" beneath her arm and then drags Big Mr. Teddy behind her, heading off to find Tadhg to introduce him to the newest member of their family and wondering aloud whether Mooses Squoosh likes spicy noodles like big brother Grunt.

(Kaidan is still laughing even as Caleb sends Abby a strongly worded message...)

And, so it keeps going. Over time, a collection of mugs, plushies, Christmas tree ornaments, sweaters (even one with Christmas tree lights wrapped around the moose's antlers - Kaidan isn't as original with his ideas as he thinks he is! ;) (from this fic here)), a chess set (Traynor shows up unexpectedly one year...), a baseball cap with antlers, etc...

When the kids get old enough to understand a bit better, they get involved too. Abby convinces Coats and some of the other former Normandy crew to participate. Hell, one year she has one of the N-classes currently in session all get together to take a photo to send Shepard of them forming the shape of a moose's head, complete with antlers). After Tadhg heads off to the academy at eighteen, the moose migrate (migratory moose?) into his room. Or, maybe they replicate like rabbits. *shrug*

And to this day, it's still 'a thing.'.. A think that all began with some ice cream during the war with the reapers... (this prompt started it all)

[swaps55]

“Long live all the mountains we moved I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you”

in memoriam

Hi everyone, it's Cath (Logan) again.

Sara was cremated this morning, August 8th, 2023. She had put together a memorial pamphlet that she wanted shared with her friends. Thank you all for being part of Sara's life.

The pamphlet can be found here, and the corresponding playlist from the end of it can be found on Spotify or YouTube.

May Sara's memory be for a blessing for us all.

[eleonorpiteira]

dearophelia replied to your photo: “Trevus Star Map, for my personal project I have zero idea of what...”:

maps! stars! maps of stars!

@dearophelia​