#@angels_portion

[angelsportion]

Review - The Glenlivet, Fusion Cask, Rum and Bourbon Fusion Selection, (No Age Stated), 40%

You know there must be something wrong with an item when its price tag is well below the item’s value. For example, I once bought a Marshall speaker stack for my guitar amp for about half what it was worth. It was in great shape, with hardly any wear and tear. However, the price foretold an issue. And there was one. Only two of the four speakers worked. Fortunately, it was a wiring issue that was…

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[angelsportion]

Review - The Deacon, Blended Scotch Whisky, (No Age Stated), 40%

If you’re talking to me, I may only be half-listening. This does not mean I don’t like you or that I’m generally disinterested in what you have to say. It simply means that mentally, I’ve strayed into a possible scenario relative to our discussion, and I’m now trapped in an unfortunate attention-sucking downswirl of questions that is leading me to more questions. For example, I took two of our…

[angelsportion]

Review - The Glenfiddich, Project XX, Experimental Series #2, 47%

Review – The Glenfiddich, Project XX, Experimental Series #2, 47%

“Evelyn, honey, I’m tired and I just want to pour myself a whisky, sit by the fireplace, and rest in the quiet.” “But you look like you need some joy.” “No, I look like I need some restful quiet. And a whisky.” “And some joy. You need some joy.” “Honey, I love you, but you need to go play somewhere else right now.” “I’m just gonna go right over here.” “And do what?” “I’m going to get some of my…

[angelsportion]

Review - Journeyman Distillery, Featherbone, (No Age Stated), 45%

Review – Journeyman Distillery, Featherbone, (No Age Stated), 45%

I mentioned not all that long ago that I’d never been hunting before, and being the “go big or go home” kind of guy that I am, I figured I’d book my first safari off-world. You’ll recall that I managed to bag a full grown Xenomorph charging at me from about two-hundred yards with my Famas. But of course, at a thousand rounds per minute, how could I miss, right? Well, what I didn’t tell you is…

[angelsportion]

Barr an Uisce, Wicklow Rare, Small Batch Blended Irish Whiskey, (No Age Stated), 43%

Barr an Uisce, Wicklow Rare, Small Batch Blended Irish Whiskey, (No Age Stated), 43%

Have you ever been so angry that you felt the urge to… well… do something you probably shouldn’t? If so, let me give you a little bit of advice. Disregard attempting to calm yourself by controlling your breathing or counting to ten. Doing these contemplative things will only add to the premeditation aspect of the prosecution’s case when you’re eventually put on trial for doing what you intend to…

[angelsportion]

Review - Ohishi Whisky, (No Age Statement), 42.9%

Review – Ohishi Whisky, (No Age Statement), 42.9%

I’ve never been hunting before. And anyone even remotely acquainted with me will know I’m a “go big or go home” kind of guy. Being such a human being, I thought if I’m really going to do this, I’m going to venture off-world to bag something worth my while. Let the images here tell the story of both my adventures and my successes. For the record, it was not a close encounter by any means. I bagged…

[angelsportion]

Where the hell have you been, Reverend?

Where the hell have you been, Reverend?

Dearest friends of The Angels’ Portion,

My apologies for it having been a few months since my last post. I know, I know. I’ve read the messages. I hear you. All I can say is that not only have I been extremely busy in a great deal of other arenas, many of which steal away the maximum of my waking hours (and in some cases, my sleeping hours, too), but I’m also hard at work putting the finishing…

[angelsportion]

Review - Anchor Distilling, A.H. Hirsch, Small Batch Reserve, 4 to 6 Years Old, 46%

Review – Anchor Distilling, A.H. Hirsch, Small Batch Reserve, 4 to 6 Years Old, 46%

I’m fairly certain that every person has those moments when the reactive thoughts that exist in the furthest reaches of the mind have complete access to the thoroughfare of his or her mouth. I know I do. They don’t happen every day, but they happen enough to keep things interesting.

“What can I get for you, sweetie?” an unfamiliar voice buzzed sexily through the drive-through speaker, its…

[angelsportion]

Review - Still Waters, Stalk and Barrel, Red Blend, (No Age Stated), 43%

Review – Still Waters, Stalk and Barrel, Red Blend, (No Age Stated), 43%

Clank—cling—clang.

Per usual, one of Evelyn’s eating utensils was fifteen feet away from her on the restaurant floor. I think she may have done it purposely this time since it came to rest not too far from the lobster tank.

When we first walked in, Evelyn was quick to press against and peer into the tank. Recognizing her intrigue, the host asked all of the kids if they wanted to see one of the…

[angelsportion]

Review - Underdog Spirits, Big House Straight Bourbon, 6 Years Old, 45%

Review – Underdog Spirits, Big House Straight Bourbon, 6 Years Old, 45%

It’s known by different names.

Some call it “Keep Away.” Others have affectionately named it “Monkey in the Middle.” In the arena that is our vacation pool, it’s called “Death Ball.”

“Why?” you ask. Let me tell you.

The game involves a rubber ball, and in our watery bouts—which, mind you, are never for the weak—it is an inflatable sphere adorned with the terror-inducing characters from the Disney…

[angelsportion]

Review - Pendelton, Midnight, Blended Canadian Whisky, (No Age Stated), 45%

Review – Pendelton, Midnight, Blended Canadian Whisky, (No Age Stated), 45%

Oh, look what came in today’s mail.

Happy birthday from your friends at Jiffy Lube, the postcard reads.

Aw, they remembered. That was nice. Although, they did forget the last two letters of my first name. And they added an “s” to my last name. My last name is Thoma, not Thomas.

Whatever. I get it. Still, I’m not stupid. And so I went ahead and redesigned the postcard. Here is, essentially, what…

[angelsportion]

Review - Bib & Tucker, 6 Years Old, Small Batch Bourbon Whiskey, 46%

Review – Bib & Tucker, 6 Years Old, Small Batch Bourbon Whiskey, 46%

I have a few free pro-tips I’ve learned firsthand today that I feel obliged to share with you.

The first is to steer around dead birds while mowing the yard. Never succumb to that split-second temptation to let your mulching mower return them to the earth. Not only does the explosion of feathers and bone make for a real mess, but the cleanup is a challenge, especially when the carcass is…

[angelsportion]

Review - Mortlach, 16 Years Old, Distiller's Dram, 43.4%

Review – Mortlach, 16 Years Old, Distiller’s Dram, 43.4%

“Don’t worry, Momma,” our ten-year-old daughter with type 1 diabetes sing-songs, turning the menu’s pages in search of the beverages. “I won’t get chocolate milk this time.” But before my wife’s gleeful glance toward me can reach full bloom, the little girl continues, “I’m going to get strawberry lemonade, instead.”

Now to put this moment into perspective, if you can bear with me for a minute or…

[angelsportion]

Review - The GlenAllachie, Batch 2, Cask Strength, 10 Years Old, 54.8%

Review – The GlenAllachie, Batch 2, Cask Strength, 10 Years Old, 54.8%

It’s 5:00 AM. Vacation is over. We leave to return to Michigan in a few hours.

When we arrived here in Florida a little less than two weeks ago, I had a terribly painful knot in a muscle to the left of my spine near the shoulder, the kind that can steal the wind from your lungs for a moment just by turning one’s head. It lasted for about three or four days before finally loosening its grip.

It…

[angelsportion]

Review - The Balvenie, "The Sweet Toast of American Oak", 12 Years Old, 43%

Review – The Balvenie, “The Sweet Toast of American Oak”, 12 Years Old, 43%

Because she knows that what I most enjoy about our time away on family vacation is the opportunity to sit unhindered each morning and write something, my wife has expressed concern that I might not always actually have stuff to write about, thereby returning home less refreshed.

But I’m an observer, and with that, there’s always something to describe. The bigger challenge is found in taking what…