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emphistic · 2 months ago

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MEDDLE ABOUT

SYN. Being co-stars with your ex-boyfriend of three months is basically hell; or at least, that's what you think. AKA: Sukuna wants you back, whether he's acting or not.

TAGS. actor AU, fem!Reader, mean!Sukuna, exes to lovers, forced proximity, sharing a cigarette, smoking, arguing, eventual smut, Sukuna likes to shut you up with his dick, cockwarming, answering the phone during séx, orgasm denial, dacryphilia, porn w/o plot, use of pet names: baby, sweetheart, pretty girl, my dear (mockingly)

WC. 5.4k (please read anyway 😞)

AN. requested by anon (you didn't specify any genre, so i just freestyled 🤷‍♀️), animated dividers by @/cafekitsune; i'm a sucker for actor AUs; available on ao3; MDNI

“I know you wanna kiss me,” you smiled, leaning closer to Sukuna’s face. Your noses were barely apart, and you couldn’t tell where his breath ended, and where yours started. To be honest, this was far more intimate than any other kiss scene you ever had to film.

“Yeah?” Sukuna grinned, getting equally as close. “And what’re you going to do about that, pretty girl?”

“. . .Fucking slap you, that’s what.”

“CUT!” The director yelled, groaning in exasperation. “C’mon, people. I know it’s been a long day, but put your differences aside for the sake of one movie, will ya? When you receive your paycheck, you’ll regret all of this ‘huffing and puffing’ you two are both doing right now.”

You exhaled, pulling away from Sukuna. It’s not that you couldn’t remember your correct lines, it’s just. . . You couldn’t take it anymore. Being in the same room as him, breathing in the same air as him, starring in the same movie with him. Fuck, you hated this.

You and Sukuna had broken up exactly three months ago despite having what seemed like a pretty healthy relationship. Seemed is the key word.

Of course, you two had your ups and downs, like an ordinary couple, but what differentiated you two from a normal couple was the fact that you guys both juggled busy careers as an actor and actress. Being booked with interviews, PR stunts, and in general, movies, you and Sukuna didn’t have the ability to spend much time together. And, as if that wasn’t enough, there was constantly a multitude of women on his arm during movie premieres. Yeah, you knew those were all for PR, but still, it hurt to see your boyfriend standing with a woman that wasn’t you every day.

At first, you thought you could take it. Being an actress yourself, you had your fair share of rumors and made up scandals. But it came to a point where you couldn’t take it anymore. You and Sukuna broke up, consequently, and fans immediately voiced their opinions and concerns, bombarding Twitter with trending tags, and posting videos on several apps. The internet had been obsessed with you guys as a couple since the first movie you two co-starred in—which was years ago—so their complaints definitely weren’t for naught.

Originally, you thought that your relationship with Sukuna would end on good terms, but boy, oh boy, were you wrong. Sukuna, just mere days after your breakup, was spotted by paparazzi walking around the city with his arm around a girl you definitely did not recognize as one of his current co-stars. And to make matters worse, he had the audacity to hit you up and ask if he could come over to your penthouse right after.

Men, am I right?

You two may or may not have slept together as exes a few times after your inevitable argument about him and that new girl, but rest assured, you did eventually break things off permanently. Well, you thought you did. As if by fate, you and Sukuna were casted as co-stars in an up-and-coming romance movie that had your fans just dying in anticipation of finally being able to see their favorite (broken up) couple together on screen again.

To be frank, you were originally going to pass up the role as the female lead—seeing as your luck had landed you as co-stars with Sukuna—but your manager apparently really, really wanted you to work on the film, saying things like Think of how elated your fans will be and It’s an adaptation from a book that made millions and Just imagine all of the PR and promoting you could do. It took a while of convincing—and coercing—to get you to finally agree to the role since, after all, PR was the main reason for your and Sukuna’s breakup. But, honestly, you would be lying if you said there weren’t any feelings left for your ex-boyfriend, Sukuna.

“I think we should all take a breather,” Sukuna began, jeering, “before someone gets all hot and bothered by just being on the same set as me. Wouldn’t you agree?” Sukuna turned to you, an expression on his face that just made you want to punch him in the nose.

“‘Hot and bothered’, seriously? Don’t make me laugh.” You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms over your chest.

Sukuna tilted his head to the side, grinning. “Do you think I’m joking? I could feel the way your heart was racing earlier, when we had to shoot that hugging in the rain scene. Just admit it, this isn’t acting for you.”

He was definitely self-projecting, you scowled just by the thought of it.

“Oh, don’t give me that look, sweetheart. We all know how you really feel,” Sukuna teased, leaning down to your eye-level. His breath fanned your reddening ear as he whispered, “You want me so bad it makes you look fucking stupid.”

And when he pulled away, Sukuna added one last remark, “I know it’s been a long three months for you. Say, how’s that blondie treating you, hm? I bet his dick is as small as his future in acting.”

“Ryomen, just stop.” You shook your head. “It’s not like that with him, and you know that. Just leave me alone.”

You shoved at his chest as you walked off set, your assistants following you promptly with water bottles and towels.

In all honesty, you remembered it like it happened yesterday. Before you and Sukuna became boyfriend and girlfriend, your first meeting was in a movie that you both starred in as the female and male lead. It was a romance movie, of course, that was about a couple meeting on an island while both on individual vacations. You two spent most of your days on set in swimsuits and bikinis, consuming fake alcoholic beverages, and, consequently, sleeping together—after the tension just grew unbearable.

On and off camera, Sukuna had been growing an attraction towards you. I mean, who could blame him? You two had to be near each other while being basically half-naked. And, if your pretty face wasn’t enough to beguile Sukuna, your ass definitely was. From the moment he shook hands with you at your first meeting as co-stars, he knew he had to have you—acting or not.

That movie was the start of the skyrocketing of both your and Sukuna’s career in acting. Fans quickly noted how much chemistry the two of you had together, and how well you two could act out emotions and intimate scenes. What the audience didn’t know, though, was that you and Sukuna had started seeing each other a few weeks after shooting together.

Sukuna had invited over the whole cast and team for drinks after a successful movie premiere, and you two ended up talking and conversing in his kitchen whilst a little under the influence. You two hit it off, and learned that being an aspiring actor wasn’t the only thing you two had in common. One glass turned into two, and two turned into stumbling into Sukuna’s bedroom after everyone had responsibly ordered a cab home.

Waking up the morning after, and deciding it wasn’t just going to be a one night stand, you and Sukuna thus began your new relationship. At first, you two avoided being spotted in public together, but it came to a point where your relationship just couldn’t be hidden anymore and you both decided to go public. The internet responded almost immediately with cheers, enthusiasm, and occasionally, expressions showing how un-surprised they were. I mean, you two had been shipped together almost constantly; making it official was almost expected.

Years passed, the honeymoon stage was over, your careers were more demanding and busy than they had ever been, and, well, you know the rest.

—

“Fancy seeing you here.”

A grimace immediately made its way onto your face at the sound of Sukuna’s voice calling out to you from behind.

“Hilarious,” you deadpanned, turning to face Sukuna as he sat down beside you and slung an arm around the back of the couch, “I was hoping the next time I saw you would be at your funeral.”

“A little harsh, don’t you think?” chided Sukuna, as he brought out a cigarette and lit it.

You crossed your arms over your chest, leaning back against the couch. “What do you want?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Sukuna leaned his face closer to yours, his eyes running down your face and naturally drifting to your lips.

“Unless you’re being your usual asshole-self, and here to annoy me in my dressing room, I’m afraid not.”

After you stormed off set, the director decided it was best to just call it a day and continue filming tomorrow. You went outside for a bit to get some fresh air, before deciding to return to your dressing room and get unready. Stripping down and putting on nothing but your robe, you had sat yourself down on the couch and picked up a magazine, planning on spending a few minutes relaxing before making your way home. Sukuna barging in, despite being off the clock, was something you definitely weren’t expecting. He wasn’t supposed to be here, and if someone found out. . .

“You’ll be in a lot of trouble if my makeup artist comes in here and sees you,” you commented. “Go smoke somewhere else.”

At this, Sukuna’s eyes flickered up to your own, and he removed the cigarette from his lips before blowing out the smoke right in front of your face. Your nose scrunched up, as if on instinct, and Sukuna booped your nose with a shit-eating grin on his face.

“I swear,” you began, snatching the cigarette out of Sukuna’s hands, “if I don’t kill you, I hope these will.” Now was your turn to put the cigarette between your lips. You inhaled, and took a deep breath. But, only moments after, the cigarette was out of your hands and abruptly stubbed on a nearby ashtray.

Sukuna looked at you with an intent look on his face. “As much as I find that hot, I’d rather I be the one damaging my lungs. Not you.”

“Looking out for little old me? How cute,” you smiled, your tone sarcastic. “I see you’re not over us, yet, hm? Did that new girl change your mind?”

You leaned closer to Sukuna, your shoulders brushing ever so slightly.

As soon as you mentioned that other chick, Sukuna rolled his eyes. “Oh, please. It was nothing, we didn’t even hold hands. C’mon, all we did was sit next to each other at a party, and now you’re on my ass about her?”

You shrugged, picking up the magazine you had previously discarded and flipping through the pages with faux interest. “Oh, really? Didn’t look that way to me. You two sure seemed buddy-buddy.”

“Like hell we did. Fuck, do you want me to bring up that twig you were with last week? Kid’s got no meat on his arms. Can’t even call him a man. Is that seriously how low you’re willing to go, babe?” Sukuna scoffed at your lack of attention to him. “Shit’s even worse than a downgrade.”

“You can think that all you want. But I definitely disagree.” You struggled to stifle a giggle.

Sukuna, furrowing his brows, narrowed his eyes at you. “The fuck do you mean by that? Don’t tell me you’ve seen his dick.”

“I dunno, have I?” You turned to Sukuna, meeting his gaze with an equal amount of irritation.

“Must’ve been pretty small, though, if you can’t even remember it,” Sukuna pressed, leaning closer to you, your noses touching, before pulling away. “Whatever, this is boring. Say, how about we get back to where we left off, and practice that kissing scene, hm? I think it’s a great idea.”

“Ryomen, let’s not. You know we’re done. Been done. We’re through.”

“You don’t really mean that.”

“Oh, is it not obvious? I think it was pretty obvious when you had the nerve to get with a new girl just days after we broke up. And then you have the balls to call me right after the paparazzi catches you two. Really, Sukuna? I don’t mind the idea of us ending on neutral terms, but . . . 48 hours? Two days after we broke up, and you’re already fucking some girl? Way to go, Sukuna.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself there, baby. We didn’t even kiss, did you see any pictures of us kissing? No. And, besides, it’s called provocation. Honestly, you should be praising me, because it worked in the end, didn’t it? I came ‘crawling back’ like one of your little bitch boys, and what happened? Oh, I remember; you let me right the fuck in to your apartment.”

As much as you hated to admit it, you couldn’t deny Sukuna. He was right. And, just the mere thought of what you two did after he hit you up brought heat to your cheeks.

The very same night after pictures of Sukuna and that new girl started circulating around the internet, Sukuna decided to text you:

hey pretty girl,

you up?

You were drying yourself off with a towel when you received two notifications on your phone, and when you saw the contact name, you frowned and turned off your phone without giving a response. Minutes after, there was a ring on your doorbell, and when you checked the camera, lo and behold, stood none other than the last pink-haired man you wanted to see that evening.

When you opened the door, wearing nothing other than a towel around your still dripping body, Sukuna couldn’t help but shamelessly check you out, deciding then and there that this definitely wasn’t going to be the end of your relationship. Of course, an argument ensued soon after, because that’s what life was like dating a dick like Sukuna. Luckily for you, however, Sukuna’s bulge in his pants was bigger than his ego, and so it made up for all of the playful bullying and teasing remarks that he frequently gave.

Sukuna—because he wasn’t born yesterday—knew his looks and charms fairly well, and often used them as a weapon or bargaining chip. That’s why, after you spent a minute or two berating and yelling at Sukuna near your front door, it only took the man one look into your eyes and one sultry comment to have you both stumbling into the . . . bedroom? No, you two had been apart for two days too long, and just decided to utilize your expensive kitchen counters for purposes completely unrelated to cooking.

The next morning, you two woke up—after getting just half an hour of sleep—and didn’t untangle from each other’s limbs until your manager called you nearly a hundred times, and forced you to get up and attend some interview or something. That, however, was not your last night with Sukuna. You two met up—intentionally or not—within the same week, whether it be at interviews or just random outings, and meddled with the other until one of you would fold (usually Sukuna) and consequently do something you would end up not fully regretting the next morning.

This affair continued until you finally came to your senses and blocked Sukuna out from your life in all ways possible. But, due to his bank account, Sukuna did end up purchasing multiple different phones just to be able to contact you. You may or may not have given in a few times, but in the end, you did end up leaving Sukuna for good.

“Reminiscing, are you? It’s okay, I’ve been doing that every night since you left the penthouse,” Sukuna laughed, noticing the way you went silent. You hated the way he referred to his place as The penthouse, and not, simply, his penthouse because, to be frank, for the years you both spent as a couple, you practically lived together despite having individual residences.

“What the hell, Sukuna. Just—Why are you even—?”

Sukuna cut you off, rolling his eyes. “I find it pretty hard to believe that not a single part of you misses me. Don’t lie; lying is a sin, y’know.”

“Sukuna—Excuse me? Don’t give me that shit. ‘Lying is a sin’ my ass. You must have to ask for God’s forgiveness pretty often, then. I can’t believe you want to call me a sinner, I mean, just—just look at you! You’re no saint, either, and you know that damn well.”

Sukuna raised his hands in defense, humoring you. “Woah, looks like I’ve been caught,” he laughed, before getting a little more serious. “But, don’t try to avoid the fact that you’re not innocent. Okay, we broke up due to not being able to make time for each other, and because of how much women I had to be around. Yeah, I get that. But it’s not like I was the only one taking up PR stunts. You did the same, too, didn’t you? So don’t try and paint me out to be the bad guy, when, at the end of the day, we did the same fucking thing.”

Irritated, you pinched the space between your brows. “I barely have any energy to say something to your stupid face right now. We broke up because of that, but also because of how much of a fucking dick you were and are. I knew you weren’t a total angel when we got together but—”

“Look. Do you want a nice guy?”

“. . .”

“Don’t feel pressured to answer, baby. We all know how you really feel.”

“Go. to. Hell. Sukuna. Seriously. This? Again? Do you even know how much of an ass you are? I should deserve an award for putting up with your shit for so long, God—”

“Yeahh, just keep talking,” said Sukuna in a teasing manner, as he leaned back against the couch, spreading his legs apart. You had never wanted to sit somewhere so bad.

“Are you fucking kidding me—mmph!”

You would’ve continued yelling and cursing Sukuna out for being such a dick had he not roughly pressed his lips against yours, immediately shutting you up. Because you still had some self-respect left, you fought back, throwing weak punches at his chest; but when Sukuna caught your wrists in his hands, you knew it was game over. Your muffled complaints soon turned to whimpers and sighs, as you shut your eyes and let your body do the talking.

Minute after minute, you gradually turned to putty in Sukuna’s hands. Fuck, as much as you hated to admit it, you had truly missed this. The feeling of his large, coarse hands roaming your body, tracing your curves, the feeling of his soft, but unruly hair under your fingertips, but most importantly, the feeling of his lips on yours.

At this point, you couldn’t even remember why the two of you broke up.

“Sukuna,” you murmured, pulling away for a moment to breathe. “We’re not together anymore. We shouldn’t—”

“Shouldn’t?” repeated Sukuna, eager to get back to where you left off. “Are you in a relationship with someone else? Am I in a relationship with someone else? No, and no. So enlighten me, my dear, why should we stop?”

“. . .” It was like he was challenging you, except, this time, it was a battle you could afford to lose. You wanted Sukuna, you really did. But admitting it was the hard part. You chewed on your bottom lip, contemplating every outcome, as Sukuna continued to stare at you with so much desire you could practically feel it.

“Are you hesitating because,” Sukuna paused, “—because you fucked someone else while I was gone?”

You sighed, swallowing the lump in your throat; you had never been more conflicted in your life. Placing your hands on Sukuna’s shoulders, you pushed back until Sukuna was sitting on the couch, and you were sitting on top of him—seated on his lap. As if on instinct, his hands made their way from your hips to the curve of your ass.

Sukuna gripped the globes of fat and muscle with a purpose, and let out an exaggerated groan at the missed feeling of you practically sitting on his dick. You were wearing nothing but a dainty, silky robe, and you clearly didn’t cross it over your chest too well, as Sukuna could see almost everything he had been missing out on during the past few months.

“Don’t even think about lying to me. I can feel you throbbing on my thigh, y’know.”

“. . .And?” You raised a brow; whispering in Sukuna’s ear, “What about it?”

Biting your lip, you let your hands wander up and down Sukuna’s neck, the spot you knew he liked you touching. When you broke things off with Sukuna, you didn’t know you could miss being able to trace his tattoos as bad as you did.

“Oh?” asked Sukuna. But when his fingers wandered up your robe, there was a sudden change in Sukuna’s demeanor, and he sucked in a breath.

“Adorable,” you laughed. “Cat got your tongue?”

“Shit, baby,” Sukuna groaned, “I bet you were expecting me to come and visit your little dressing room, huh. Even planned ahead and gave me a little surprise. Cheeky thing.”

Just seconds earlier, Sukuna’s fingers had been teasingly ghosting where you wanted him most, but when he noticed the lack of underwear you had on, he nearly lost it. You clearly weren’t making it easy for Sukuna to stay composed, he was sure of that much. Despite all of his belittling and teasing remarks, he definitely wasn’t as unaffected as he let himself seem to be.

“We’ve just been apart for so, so long.” You looked into Sukuna’s eyes, a faux pout on your lips as you looped your arms around his neck and pressed your tits up against his chest. “Can you blame me?”

“Fuck, girl,” Sukuna kissed his teeth. “You’re dripping wet. All for me?”

“Who the fuck else?”

Sukuna’s fingers danced around your entrance, collecting your slick as you pressed your thighs together, trapping his hand between your legs (not like he was complaining, though; that was probably the closest to Heaven Sukuna would ever get in his lifetime). “Mmm, that’s what I like to hear.”

It wasn’t a surprise when you pressed your lips against Sukuna’s, bringing him in for another zealous kiss. In an effort to get impossibly closer, your body curved into his, like you were puzzle pieces molded and created just for each other. You two moved in sync, as if you had both rehearsed this before; but, in truth, you two had just made out too many times to count, so kissing Sukuna was basically like breathing air. You needed it to survive, and, it was light work. What more could you say?

The tension and lust between you two grew, and your dressing room soon filled with the sound of sensual desire, moans and quiet gasps, and the creaking of the framework of your unfortunate couch, which had the misfortune of being beneath the two of you.

From the moment you had begun straddling his lap, you had pretended not to notice the growing erection below you; but, by now, it was pretty hard to ignore the bulge pressing against your ass. It was like, during the months you two spent apart, Sukuna’s dick was growing even larger than before. You didn’t remember it being so big. And, just the sight of it was enough to make you lick your lips in fear? Anticipation? . . .Definitely a mix of both.

As Sukuna made a show of removing his belt and pants, he grinned at the evident look of unfamiliarity on your face. “Scared?”

“Of course not,” you quipped, trying to put up a front, but your body betrayed you, displaying otherwise.

“Naturally,” Sukuna mocked, “that’s why I can practically feel your arousal, right?”

You bit your lip, “Shut up.”

Sukuna laughed, pushing the ends of your robe up to rest on your hips, and sliding his hands to your ass, squeezing each cheek with an equal amount of force. Damn, thought Sukuna, he had missed his favorite girls.

“Just because we haven’t done this in a while doesn’t mean you have to be afraid of it. C’mon,” Sukuna slowly repositioned and lowered your hips and spread your legs apart, easing his dick through your cunt, “there’s nothing to be shy about. I know you’ve been missing this.”

It was true, you and Sukuna hadn’t fucked in three whole months, and your body was definitely starting to forget how he felt. The feeling of your walls stretching to accommodate Sukuna’s length and size burned pleasurably, and you bit your lip to stifle a moan, which, in turn, just came out as a whimper instead.

Bracing yourself, you planted both palms on Sukuna’s broad shoulders as your lashes fluttered and your eyes shut tight. “So—nngh—So big, Sukuna. God.”

“Bet you’re real glad you decided to accept this role, after all, huh.”

Your eyes snapped open, and you glared at Sukuna. “Will you just shut—oh!”

Just as you were about to yell at Sukuna, he decided it was the absolute perfect time to give a rough thrust; and you could’ve sworn you felt him in your womb. Throughout all the years you two had been together, you rarely had the opportunity to actually sit on his dick, and, now that you had the chance, you realized how full you felt in this position compared to how you two usually fucked. Sukuna knew you liked it rough, but this . . . was like nothing you had experienced before.

Sukuna—laughing—leaned down just enough to whisper in your ear, “You were saying?”

“Fuck,” you gritted your teeth. “Just move, Sukuna, goddamnit. What’s the holdup? Don’t tell me the late twenties are catching up to your libido.”

“Ha! in your dreams. I was just thinking of a new way we could have fun. Let’s see, just how long can you go without moving, hm?”

You gulped. “W-What? Why would you—?”

“Because it’s exciting, and spices up things. Don’t you think so?”

“. . .”

As the minutes idly passed by, you grew hot and bothered, and exasperated. You couldn’t believe Sukuna was making you do this. Nearly ninety days you two spent apart, and now that you had gotten back together, he had the audacity to leave you high and dry? In a final attempt at getting any satisfaction, you moved to roll your hips, desperate to create any amount of friction to free you from this everlasting state between Heaven and Hell; but two rough hands abruptly caught you in motion, and swiftly held you down.

“Ah, ah, ah,” tutted Sukuna, in a mocking tone. “Did I say you could move?”

Clearly frustrated, you let out a whine; but as your hands move to give punches against Sukuna’s chest, he catches your wrists in his hands with ease, an evil smile on his face, like a predator that had successfully cornered their prey and was just seconds away from latching their teeth in.

The belt was already pretty loose, so when one of the sleeves on your robe slipped down your shoulder, revealing your bare chest, no one was that surprised.

“Oh?” Sukuna began. “What have we here?” His scarlet eyes roamed up and down your figure, as his grip on your wrists turned almost deathly.

“You . . . bastard,” you—suddenly feeling a bit shy—tried to tug your wrists out of his grasps, in order to cover yourself up, but your attempts were futile. “Let go of me—hnngh, shit.”

Your back arched, body curving closer to Sukuna’s as his lips abruptly wrapped around one of your already hard nipples, catching you off guard. You had never felt so overwhelmed; the feeling of Sukuna sucking on a tit while his dick was buried inside of you—unmoving—was nearly enough to make you cum, despite the lack of movement that Sukuna allowed.

Bringing you out of your dazed state was the sudden ringing of your phone on the table beside the ashtray. Your eyes widened in surprise, as you softly pushed Sukuna off of you. “Just—Just ignore it. It’s not important.”

“Right. But where’s the fun in that, huh?”

“You don’t mean. . .”

“You know what I mean. Answer it, on speaker,” Sukuna pressed. His tone told you he wasn’t going to repeat himself.

With shaky fingers, you reached for the phone, answered the caller, and put it on speaker. “H-Hello? Katayama?”

Katayama was the name of one of your co-stars. Or, in other words, the blonde dude, which Sukuna kept mentioning earlier.

“Hey, you! It’s pretty late right now, perfect time for us to go out and get some drinks, y’know? I’m a bit bored, as of lately.”

You were about to respond with an apologetic declination to his offer, but Sukuna cut you off as he roughly lifted up your hips and abruptly slammed them back down, causing you to choke back a moan, and cover it up with a faux series of coughs. “I’m, ah, a little . . . busy,” you whimpered, wincing at the tight grip on your hips—which was sure to leave a bruise in the morning, “right now.”

“Are you sick?”

“Uhm, no—I mean, yes!” You let out another fake cough just to seal the deal. “Yup, just a little under the weather.”

You bit your lip, trying to suppress a string of moans and curses as Sukuna continued slamming your hips up and down onto his.

“Well, if you’re ever in need of an extra warm blanket, don’t be afraid to—”

“Hahh.” A breathy moan slipped past your lips, and you could practically see the surprised look that was probably on Katayama’s face right now.

“—call . . . me. Uhm, are you sure you’re sick? You sound like you’re in the middle of . . . something. Is everything okay—?”

“Yup! Yeah, everything is totally okay,” you forced out, with an enthusiastic tone. Gripping Sukuna’s shoulder with your free hand for leverage, you shut your eyes tight as you quickly ended the call. “I’m a little occupied at the moment, I’ll call you ba—I’m gonna go. Bye!”

As swiftly as you hung up the call, you threw your phone across the couch, and let out all of the noises you had been previously bottling up.

“I’m so c-close.” You mewled, now even more desperate than you were before.

“If you dare cum,” Sukuna began, his voice low, “I’ll stop.”

“Sukuna!” You whined, scratching at his back and leaving little crescent shaped marks from your nails on his tricep. “I need to—ahnn!”

Squeezing your eyes shut, you held onto Sukuna’s shoulders for dear life as he quickened his pace. Lifting your hips up with ease, and slamming them back down with equal force. Fucked out of your mind was not enough to describe your current state, as your eyes rolled back into your head, and your lipstick was smudged across your mouth.

Sukuna leaned down to whisper into your ear, never stopping his movements. “Bet the little blondie didn’t fuck you like this, huh?”

It was obvious that Sukuna wasn’t an insecure guy; I mean, he had no reason to be. He had nice muscles, a good body, overall, sharp features, tempting eyes, and tattoos for days. But, you had to admit, the spark of jealousy was definitely a good look on Sukuna, one that you wouldn’t mind seeing every once in a while, if it meant seeing him like . . . this.

“. . .S-Sukuna, we never—we never even fucked in the first place.”

“Oh, yeah? How long you been without cock, then, huh? Must be why you’ve been acting like such a bitch. I almost feel bad; all this time, my baby’s just been depraved.”

“. . .F-fuck you,” you shivered, body practically shaking with need.

“No need to state the obvious, sweetheart. Fuck, even your tears taste sweet,” Sukuna groaned, licking a stripe up your cheek. “It’s as if you were literally made for me to devour.”

“Please, please let me cum! I’m so—hnngh—close.”

“Yeah, no. C’mon, I know my girl can last just a little longer, can’t you?” Sukuna grinned, biting his lip as he admired your dazed state. He hadn’t been able to touch you in three months, ninety days, 504 hours. If anyone was going to get their fill, it was him.

—

“Oh!” Your stylist exclaimed, after walking into your dressing room and noticing you lying asleep on the couch. “You’re already here. And, Sukuna’s here, too. Wait. . . SUKUNA’S HERE, TOO!?”

#sukuna x reader #ryomen x reader #sukuna x you #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk smut #sukuna smut #sukuna ryomen x reader #sukuna x y/n #em writes ˎˊ˗

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riizebabie444 · 5 months ago

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𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙪𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙚 𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙛𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙡𝙮 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚

─── hey everyone, back with another pac. this one is about your future spouse and your family life with them. please remember to support with reblogs and feedback!

i'm currently going through a tough time financially and would appreciate if you considered booking a reading with me <3

─── picking your pile: take a deep breath and allow your soul to centre itself. when you feel your mind balanced and cleared, allow yourself to be drawn to an image. your eyes may gravitate to one, or you may close your eyes and feel which image is calling out.

─── be sure to check out my other readings and don’t forget to share and give feedback. disclaimer: all readings done are for entertainment only. please do not use my tarot readings as a replacement for legitimate advice.

ʚɞ ─── masterlist. paid readings. exchange rules.

donations. games/events. feedback.

pile one

who is your future spouse?

with the hermit and the queen of swords, i see your future spouse being an introverted person, they like to spend a lot of time alone. perhaps this is because of past relationships that made them prefer to be alone, but i also see a case where they just like being alone because they would rather have zero connections that put up with bullshit people. they trust their inner guidance and don't force themselves to be around people that don't add value to their lives.

in that sense, they say it how it is. if they're not happy about something, they'll make it clear. they are perceptive and hate when others have hidden agendas or sly intentions. they can see right through it. they're a quick thinker, intellectual and emotionally intelligent. but sometimes a bit to harsh and strict with both themselves and others. they can be judgemental sometimes. however, they are a wise person who cuts through the noise. they see the truth easily.

how will they love you?

with two of pentacles and eight of pentacles, they seem like a practical lover. they seem like more of a traditional lover too. not necessarily in the way that they will fulfil traditional gender roles in a relationship, but in the sense that they seek balance above all else. they want to be on equal grounds with someone, and understand a relationship and love in general takes a lot of work. so they will fulfil the role in the relationship that you both expect of them, and they also expect the same from you.

they will work hard to meet your standards, so you will also need to work hard to meet their standards. they show their love with equality, equal effort, equal treatment. for most of you guys, this doesn't mean equality with money etc, like splitting the date costs. but more so about the effort you both put in. that being said, they will put in a lot of effort. relationships are an investment so you will definitely feel like they are investing in you by maybe spending money on you, spending time with you, sharing things with each other. they don't love for what they can gain, they love for what they can share with you.

while you are dating, i do not think they are the most romantic person. they are more practical than romantic but that doesn't mean the feeling aren't there. they just express their love in different ways because that is how the circumstances they've experienced has shaped them. i do see they have big love for you and they try really hard to show it, but it won't always be in the ways you want or expect.

family life with your spouse

with knight of cups and justice, family life however does seem more romantic. i think living together and having a domestic life together will definitely change how they express their love. they will be more obvious with their feelings and needs for you, they will adapt and express their love in the ways you like. i'm seeing more romance and grand gestures which they may not have understood prior to marriage. but after marriage and having a family, they understand it better and will show you. they will be a lot more emotional also.

i see they will still be practical. they could be a bit strict about routines, especially with children. though, family life will open up both of your emotions as there is so much to explore with a family. i see it being very chill and peaceful, some conflicts here and there but honestly, family life seems nice. it will be fair and equal. you will both contribute to the home fairly, they will recognise when either one of you is doing too much or not doing enough, and then they will work to balance it out. i see fair treatment for all children, like no favouritism or double standards. i see a lot of accountability and responsibility. family life seems so mature but in a good way.

pile two

who is your future spouse?

with ten of wands and justice, they seem like a burdened person. they have experienced a whole lot in their lives. they are someone who is afraid of being judged, they might deal with anxiety, but they try not to show it. they are someone who bottles feelings up instead of sharing them. they may be dealing with struggles when you meet them, but overall, they are talented and hard-working. but may sometimes work too hard and burn themselves out.

they have a lot integrity though. if they say they're gonna do something, they will. this could also indicate they have a hard time saying no so they often end up having too much to do which leads to them feelings overwhelmed and exhausted. honestly, your spouse seems like a bit of a mess, they need more balance in their lives. i think they're prone to escapism. i'm supposed to be getting positive messages but with this pile, their messy energy is strong. they have good morals, they won't ever do something they know is inherently bad. they are law-abiding, and maybe follow the rules too strictly. but they are also a lover of simplicity. simple is beautiful to them, and they pay attention to details.

how will they love you?

with the knight of pentacles and wheel of fortune, i think your spouse meeting you is a pivotal point in their life. like they will experience so much clarity in your journey together, and i'm seeing it can help them to change their ways. naturally, they are a good planner so they will love planning things for you. for examples, planning nice dates that fit your taste exactly or planning surprise gifts for you. they'll take notice of all the things you like and don't like, everything they learn about you will be stored in their brain for future reference. they will be hard working when you are with them, in their job, with their family, in your relationship. this energy is different to their overall energy, so i'm seeing they will really change when meeting you or prior to meeting you. they will start to get their life in order.

they will be so kind and loving, they won't let anyone treat you bad. they will also try to deter you from bad decisions also. i mentioned already they are strict with morals, so if you try to do something they don't view as good, they will try to stop you. not in a way to control you but to show you how to be the better person and not stooping to low levels. like, of course they will defend you. but say if you're just being petty or bitter and it is influencing your decision, they will guide you to the better path. they will love you by constantly reminding you how they think destiny brought you together. they will rejoice in your successes and share their own with you.

family life with your spouse

with the hermit and the chariot, i see that you guys will be very private. i think after getting married, you guys might become recluses but it is just because you guys want to spend so much time together without anyone else bothering you. i think maybe you guys might move somewhere new to start your family so you might not know a lot of people, which can also explain your guys' privacy. i see so many late night talks throughout your lives together. you would not get bored of hearing each other talk. you would also help each other uncover your dark pasts and difficult emotions, and face them together.

i see you guys having a lot of willpower. if there's something you want to do as a couple or a family, you will do it. i see children for some of you and not children for others, so take it as it resonates. you will make decisions that will be in alignment with your values. as a family, i see a whole lot of determination. not letting outside influences get to you or your children. you guys would overcome anything. i see so much mundane, day to day domesticity, but also balanced out with exploration of the world. your family could have regular holidays to travel the world. you could have an active family also, like physically active but also just active in the community. if you have children, i see them being very goodhearted. you would raise them well.

pile three

who is your future spouse?

with the moon and ace of pentacles, i'm getting lucky girl/boy syndrome from your spouse. they feel so young-spirited, but they have also experienced a lot. i'm also seeing pretty privilege, so they would be very attractive, and perhaps it helps them to get the things they want in life. however, i think they are quite emotional, and they have a big imagination. they dream of big things, and bright and eventful future. and i think they are known for being caring and nurturing. they have a lot of empathy. but although they are emotional, i see them being quite practical too.

it seems like they're good with money, they don't have a lot of trouble finding good jobs. overall, you will think they are so lucky. security and stability is important to them though, so that's why they are happier and brighter when things go their way. they like to embrace new beginnings but they will always consider the risk. they might come off as careless and impulsive but honestly a lot of thought goes behind all of their actions. they don't do things for the sake of doing them, but rather to enrichen their lives with experiences. i see they may be into manifestation and even spirituality. they try to work on their limiting beliefs because they don't want to be the person holding themselves back. they may look very positive and extroverted, but deep down, they are sensitive and introspective.

how will they love you?

with the knight of wands and the well reversed, i see them being the one to approach you. they will bring opportunities to you, push you out of your comfort zone and help you move closer towards your own dreams. they will be so enthusiastic around you. you absolutely won't be worrying about whether they like you or not because they will show it. if they like you and want to be around you, you will know. and if they don't, then they will also make that clear. they wear their heart on their sleeves. i see them trying to be a bit manly though, whether this is a man or a woman. they will try to act like a macho man which they will enjoy, but just trust that they are also heartfelt and have big feelings even when they wear this mask approaching you.

they will be patient with you, but only to an extent. like, they hate the feeling of waiting for forever. they are excited about what is to come so they will be uncomfortable if you make them feel stuck in place or if you are stuck in the past. they will show their love by helping you overcome your past, helping you close the old chapters of your life before heading onto the new one. i'm seeing that their energy will not be cold or stagnant, though sometimes i see you are the one who makes the relationship feel that way. and they will show their love by not giving up on you, they will bring you along to better places even if they have to drag you. they hate seeing you hung up on the past.

family life with your spouse

with the ace of cups and five of swords reversed, i definitely see you both overcoming troubles from the past after marriage. family life is a new beginning for you both. you or them or both could be very excited for children, for having a home together. it feels almost dreamy when you guys live together. it feels like you both will blossom and thrive as a family, so many new experiences and emotions. romance will also increase. i see you will also meet so many new people, like family members or new friends. you will be surrounded by good people, your spouse will make sure of that and to get rid of anyone who treats you how you were treat in the past.

any conflicts you guys come across, i see you guys resolving them and moving forward stronger. some may just be minor so it is easy to move past them, but even the bigger conflicts, you will both work on them. you guys won't run away at the first sign of trouble, you will stick together even when you hate it and eventually it will turn out good again. there is a lot of compromise and communication. it's not always going to be easy but i see time and time again, you guys will get through it. this isn't the type of marriage and family you want to walk away from, it's the type you want to fight for. so every time, you will always move forward and create positive changes for each other and your children.

#ʚɞ jella’s readings #free tarot reading #tarot readings #tarot reading #tarot cards #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #divination #tarot pick a pile #tarot pick a card #pick a pile #pick a card #future spouse pac #tarot pac #pac reading

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earlycuntsets · 2 months ago

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11/23/2004 gerard's interview from coffee with cojo on artsucks.com

"It's really cool when people you know, and knew from obscurity become famous in a field you would have never guessed that they were even involved in.

Here is some back story. . .My freshman year of college (SVA) I became fast friends with this kid named Gerard Way. It was our "foundation year" where they lump students into "general blocks" of courses, reguardless of major. The people you are grouped with, you are stuck with, because they will be in about seventy percent of your classes your foundation year. Being that Gerard was a cartooning and illustration major with a line-art-cartoonish-comic-book style, and I had been working at Marvel Comics for the past two years; we had a lot in common. He was actually a really good cartoonist (One of the top in our class).

Well, Gerard was best friends with this guy Todd. Todd was a funny guy, but I didn't really hang around with him. I was a DJ for our school's radio station (WSVA) at the time and I was dating this girl Cheryl.

A few months later I broke it off with Cheryl. . .Time passed and somewhere along the line (I can't remember how long exactly) Todd started seeing Cheryl. Of course that's when Todd would want nothing to do with me (being that he was with Cheryl now), and it's also where I lost touch with Gerard (Naturally, he being Todd's best friend and all).

Well, I would run into Gerard in school over the years from time to time, and I remember seeing one of his cartoons printed in "THE BIG BOOK OF THE WEIRD WILD WEST" which was part of one of my favorite graphic novel series' (THE BIG BOOK OF).

Then in 2003 sometime I ran into Gerard walking down Third Avenue right off of St. Marks Place. I hadn't seen him in like seven years and his name slipped my mind, but I was sure it was him.

I followed him, he was going pretty fast "MARK!" I yelled to him, and he turned around. He looked at me with the expression of searching one's memory to place a face.

"Cojo?" He said, then corrected me "It's Gerard by the way, where did you get Mark from?"

"I don't know, maybe St. Marks? I was just drawing a blank on your name, I'm sorry, but I knew it was you and I had to stop you, how ya been man?" I asked.

I rarely run into old classmates so I offered to buy him a cup of coffee. We were right in Cooper's Square so we hit a Starbucks (If you've never been in Cooper's Square, you will be amused to learn that there are three Starbucks Coffee shops within sight of one another. . .it's really freakish).

I paid for his coffee and we shot the shit. He blew my mind telling me that he's the lead singer for a band called "MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE" and that they just got back from touring Europe. What the fuck? A far cry from cartooning.

I told him about all the weird work I've been doing. It's so rare that I actually run into someone from school who is successful and doing something they love. It was really refreshing. I took a few photos of him as we talked. I'm weird with documenting things- as if you haven't noticed.

We left Starbucks and kept shooting the shit. Having nothing to do he decided to join me for the rest of the afternoon. We walked over to the Virgin Megastore on 14th and he pointed out the magazines his band had been spotlighted in and what music he's into and what not.

It was funny cause he's like: "We're in Alternative Press all the time" and I was like, "Hey, I worked for A.P., I did stuff for the Warped Tour a few years back and actually visited their office in Cleveland!" (-author's note: you will read about this Cleveland trip in the past updates after the site hard launches in Feb-). It was cool cause we knew the same peeps.

I showed him the magazines I was in, and turned to the pages to show him the artwork. One neat thing about being in magazines is that you have a mini portfolio of your work at any magazine shop you walk into in the country.

Well, he invited me to see his band perform at THE KNITTING FACTORY the next week. I told him I would try to make it, but I was really slammed with work so I probably wouldn't be able to make this one, but I'd really like to do an interview with him or him and the band sometime where I could record our conversation.

Like just hang out and shoot the shit with them (cause he's just a down to earth Jersey born kid like myself) and pitch it to magazines afterwords, accompanied by a portrait I would do of their members. He was like: "Man, I wish you had a tape recorder on you now, the stuff I've been saying is good shit, totally printable shit!" And he was right, I really was digging at him about what happend that got him to make the transition from art into music and was getting the "real" answers, not the way a rockstar talks to a reporter, but the way an old bud you goofed off with in drawing class and you haven't seen in years talks to you.

I told him I'd look out for his band in the mags and if I saw something or could help em' out I'd spotlight it or give him a buzz. He thanked me for payin' for the Starbucks and then I caught a train uptown.

Well, September Maxim's Blender did a whole page on MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE, showcasing them as the next big thing. Then last week I was out with my girl and we walked by a magazine rack, and on the cover of AP (Alternative Press) was Gerard and his band in some serious Rigamortis style dead make-up.

"No SHIT!" I exclaimed, and picked it up. I explained to Tracy (my girlfriend) the story of how I knew this guy. That night I was flipping through the channels and I came upon MTV and what the fuck, there was a MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE video! Same day as I saw the cover! The song was catchy as hell. I couldn't believe it. I was like: "No crap. . . they are gonna be huge!" Just after their song, a yellow card video started. I guess that's their genre. I asked Ink's brother (17 year old semi-pro skateboarder) Mikey if he knew of My Chemical Romance. He told me he's a fan, has their albums. I asked Jain, and she was like, "Um yeah, they are actually a really popular band! They've been out for a while."

So I guess this update is long overdue, and so is a congrats to Gerard. Keep kickin' ass man! Next time you are back in town, give me a buzz.

Just another day in the life of an Art Juggernaut.

-Cojo"

#not a q&a interview so the most gerardi parts are blue #2004 #revenge era #interviews #artsucks.com #11/23/2004 #mychemlore sent a sweet ask about this a while back #my chemical romance #mcr #gerard way #gerardi parts

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kindnessinsilver · 24 days ago

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Does anyone else have a penchant for m/m romance with main character who have interesting sexualities and submissive streaks a mile wide? Or is that just me?

Alex Rowland has had me eating out of the palm of their metaphorical hand for the past several months because of some of their main characters. Anybody who has known me for really any amount of time and ever heard me talk about my taste in books will know that I have a tendency to find a power dynamic reading in almost any pairing I really like, but Alex made it easy with some of these guys. They make me want to cry in the best ways because it is so beautiful to feel seen.

Running Close to the Wind:

Avra Helvaçi, absolute feral gremlin brat who just wants to be teased and pitied and mocked and for all his friends to be just a little mean to him all the time as long as they think it’s endearing or hot. I relate to this so strongly it’s almost not even funny, but I can’t say that because Running Close to the Wind is one of the funniest books I’ve ever read. Avra’s sexuality is “yes please how soon?” except for the rare times when it’s “actually can you please just hold me I am sad and tired.” He has been in an on-again-off-again relationship with his best friend and biggest bully for 15 years, and they understand each other and tolerate each other in ways that no one else on the planet ever could.

A Taste of Gold and Iron:

Evemer Hoşkadem shows us a completely different version of submissive leaning that also calls to my soul. He is dedicated to service, honor, and protocol. He is a core guard of the royal family, and he has been chasing this goal for years because he believes that it is something great and noble. Fealty comes more naturally to him than humor or general affection. He believes in the trappings of power but also in the responsibility of power. Power has the responsibility to care for people, live up to their expectations, and accept the service that is its due. He is seeking, trying to find purpose and trying to find someone worthy of his service and his devotion. Evemer wrecks me because I swear I’ve lived those moments and because I’ll always be a little jealous of characters who get to prove their loyalty by risking grievous bodily harm. His sexuality is “meh” and “shoulders” and “competency kink”. Mood.

When I tell you that I hardly included half the incriminating quotes from the internal monologue of Evemer, I mean it. Read this.

Yield Under Great Persuasion: (under a read more because this book came out a month ago)

Tam Beckett, in Alex’s newest book, definitely doesn’t have the same level of obvious submissive streak, largely because it is covered up by a huge swath of bitter and lonely. Still, the interesting sexuality part applies, and he’s got a few lines that sing to me in similar ways. He has been in love with this one guy for 20 years but also he hates him. But also if he goes longer than a week without his dick, he might die. But also if the guy invites him for a second round, he might throw himself out a window. He is angry at Lyford and angry at his favorite god. He is angry at death and the passage of time. The instant he is given a chance (or 2 or 4) to make up for what a shitty human he’s been for years now, he jumps at it. He wants to be good, he wants to be loved, he wants to be worthy. But also he’s an asshole with a sharp tongue and he will push Lyford’s buttons until the man snaps if that’s what it takes to see his real reaction. He’s also got a similar level of touch starvation and need to be held and loved that Avra has.

#alexandra rowland #chantiverse #running close to the wind #a taste of gold and iron #yield under great persuasion #fox reads books #literary analysis #m/m romance #d/s dynamic analysis #I have FEELINGS #and this doesn’t even get into Tadek because I didn’t want the post to be too long #But TADEK my beloved #and Evemer and Avra my beloveds

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lifeafterartsch00l · 2 months ago

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My fav sns smut

or some of it anyway

If Naruto x Sasuke fking nasty is your ☕️

I tried to find all these beloved authors to tag them, but I couldn’t find them all, if you know who they are, plz tag them! Let’s share the ❤️

In no particular order

Healing the Broken by KizuKatana

When people tell me about smut they read in printed books I’m like

Because it’s fics like these that amaze me with their ingenuity, creativity, originality, and boldness 🔥🔥🔥

AKA

This fic isn’t just PWP (although that’s fine too in my book), it’s so well written with character development, action & romance ❤️‍🔥 Predators by the same author is also excellent 👌🏽

Thx u @kizukatana 😊

“Chapters: 23/23

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Underage

Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto

Characters: Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke

Additional Tags: Angst, SPOILERS MANGA CHAPTER 693, Drug Use, sex during drug use, Canon-Typical Violence, canon!sasuke, canon!naruto, Addiction, Slash, narusasunaru, Fix-It, my version of how it should have ended, Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, NSFW, Smut

Series: Part 1 of HTB universe

Summary: The war is over, and Sasuke is brought back to the village after his defeat by Naruto. But he is struggling to re-assimilate into the village. As his mental stability continues to erode, Tsunade and Kakashi ask Naruto to try a different treatment method. Naruto x Sasuke (slash - boy x boy). Post manga chapter 693.

Warning: Hard Yaoi (Boy x Boy) language, angst, mental illness, substance abuse, masturbation, eventual sex. Not appropriate for young readers. 18+

Disclaimer - As with everything I write on this site, I don't own the characters (Kishimoto does), and I make no money. My only payment is in reviews.

Spanish Translation by Linme (thank you!) “

[doujinshi] My Lost Himawari by SouthNorthSound

Me, to the artist (and English translator) of this visually stunning and well written doujinshi -

Seriously. It’s amazing. The visual metaphors. The angst. The way the artist can simply draw a single panel of a close-up Uchiha eye that is so outrageously sultry and sexy I don’t understand 🥵 one of the extra chapters unlocked something in me (the dream one). Bonus that it’s also really funny & has a lot of respect/empathy for its women characters too! If anyone knows who this artist plz let me know I would like to follow them until the end of the world ❤️ the ending healed me 💔

EDIT HOLY S*** GUYS I FOUND THE TRANSLATOR & ARTIST ON TUMBLR

Thx u @southnorthsound 😭❤️🫡🙇🏻‍♀️

Thx u @gigihorseinthehouse 😭 I love you I low key think you’re a genius ok sorry bye 👉🏽👈🏽

"https://archiveofourown.org/works/36581581

[doujinshi] My Lost Himawari by SouthNorthSound

Chapters: 60/60

Fandom: Naruto, Boruto: Naruto Next Generations

Rating: Mature

Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto

Characters: Uchiha Sasuke, Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura, Hyuuga Hinata, Uchiha Sarada, Uzumaki Boruto, Uzumaki Himawari, Hatake Kakashi, Nara Shikamaru, Temari (Naruto), Nara Shikadai, Akimichi Chouchou, Gaara (Naruto)

Additional Tags: Fanart, Fan Comics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, SasuNaru - Freeform, NaruSasu - Freeform, Translation, Doujinshi, Fix-It, how it should have ended, Angst, If you don’t understand how they ended up like that in Boruto READ THIS, Poetic, comedic, Loyal to canon, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, NSFW Art, Sex

Summary: A love story consists of different perspectives and different memories. It’s about saudade / realization / entanglement / out of control / hope / restart

Chapter700 background

Warning: adult content in extra chapters

Fan comics, doujinshi. It's highly recommended to read it on big screens such as iPad or PC. So you can see details about their facial expressions

One of the best Naruto fanart I’ve ever seen. So I translated it ❤”

Inevitablity by Sanauria_Maldhun

If the answer is

A) Yes

B) Kinda

C) Mind your own business rando internet pervert

Congrats all answers are correct = GO READ IT PLZ

Possessive & desperate 🥵 super gay, delicious angst, really hot 🔥 very enjoyable - fun tropes, everything hits just right, utter perfection ❤️ I’m not saying a lot because I don’t want to give away spoilers 😍

I couldn’t find this author on tumblr, plz tag in the comments if you know who they are!

“Chapters: 4/4

Rating: Explicit

Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura/Yamanaka Ino

Characters: Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke, Yamanaka Ino, Haruno Sakura

Additional Tags: Fake/Pretend Relationship, (between Ino and Naruto), Mutual Pining, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Banter, Domesticity, Pining, Naruto is so in love, and doesn't know how to handle his Feelings, Jealousy, Jealous Sasuke, Jealous Sakura, Post-Chapter 699 (Naruto), Explicit Sexual Content, Anal Sex, Gay Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Bottom Uzumaki Naruto, Top Uchiha Sasuke

Summary: Naruto's stressed and pining after a man who views him only as a friend. Deciding to get married to Ino isn't the best decision he's made (ever), given that they had been absolutely drunk while making such a declaration, but it's... a decision. Besides, what does he have to lose?”

You’ve gotten into my bloodstream (a bite of his heart) by lovenmaze

Nom nom nom 😉 kidding! Not literal cannibalism, it’s a metaphor for love, and this fic is beautiful 😍 poetic & sexy. One shot. Love how Naruto talks to Sasuke in this one (and makes him talk, too, hehe…) 🥵 delicious, please go tuck into this feast ❤️ author made an excellent fic playlist too!

Thx u @lovenmaze 😊

“https://archiveofourown.org/works/56430019

Chapters: 1/1

Rating: Not Rated

Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto

Characters: Uchiha Sasuke, Uzumaki Naruto

Additional Tags: Cannibalistic Thoughts, Cannibalism imagery, First Time, Top Uzumaki Naruto, Bottom Uchiha Sasuke, Tender Sex, Blank Period (Naruto), Confessions, Idiots in Love, Not Beta Read, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Oral Sex, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Sex, Eventual Fluff, Fluff and Smut, they’re both crazy about each other but thats not new, Poetic, Italicized Oh Moment, cannibalism as a metaphor for love, trust me it works and its SO good, consent is sexy !!!, lowkey vampire sasuke vibes

Summary: Sasuke tries to bite softly, he’s not going to eat him, maybe get a taste. Perhaps it’s stupid, but he wants to make sure, so he does. He opens his mouth, tongue touching the skin. His body shudders, and Naruto tastes warm, like skin or flesh; he tastes alive.

“A kiss is the beginning of cannibalism.”

AKA, The tender, fluffy, first-time, cannibalism (imagery), smut NaruSasu AU. [EDITED.]”

❤️Thx all u amazing authors u make me feel like this❤️

#naruto #naruto fic rec #naruto fic #sns #narusasu #sasunaru #sasunaru fic #a03 author #a03 writer #a03 fanfic #a03 link #a03 fic #read on a03 #smut #narusasu smut #my fic recs #lifeafterartsch00l fic recs

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musicalmoritz · 3 months ago

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The common misconception that Akane has no personality outside of Aoi is a sign of immaturity among many fans, in my opinion. This isn’t really their fault, seeing as the majority of the tbhk fandom is on the younger side, but it’s still something that should be noted

When people say this, they are talking about his hobbies. It’s true that every hobby Akane has is something he started to impress Aoi. I’m of the firm belief that he stayed on the Student Council because he enjoys it but that’s slightly up to interpretation (it could also be a way for Teru to keep an eye on him). However, in general, Akane doesn’t seem to have much going on outside of Aoi. His favorite food is something he imagines her baking for him, he joins clubs based on what type of guys she shows interest in, the books he reads all have a character that shares her name, and when she asks him what he enjoys, his response is “I like you, Aoi.” He’s even shown to zone out of conversations when Aoi isn’t mentioned. This is clearly unhealthy, though he does eventually learn to give her some distance which is beneficial to the both of them. But he still doesn’t seem to actively engage in hobbies that have nothing to do with Aoi

This is a consistent character flaw, but it does not mean Akane has no personality or character outside of Aoi. This is where the immaturity bit comes in, kids want to describe themselves entirely based on their interests. With the rise of fan culture and the internet, many adults do the same. It’s not just a young people problem, it’s an issue of how we identify ourselves. We like to put people into categories, understanding them based on their hobbies and careers. These are very important elements of identity, but they aren’t everything. A person with no job and no hobbies is still a person. They might struggle due to having no outlet for their creativity, but they are a person nonetheless

Fandoms notoriously love to understand characters based on their niche interests. Aoi is a gardener, Hanako loves the moon, Nene plays idol games, Teru has a very sad life. These are absolutely elements of their characters, but there’s more to them than their hobbies. They have personalities too, goals and passions outside of what they do in their free time

Akane puts his all into helping others, he takes his Student Council duties very seriously and keeps his hands full during every school event. He is a very empathetic character, able to understand characters like Aoi, Teru, and Nene without them having to tell him what they need. He’s competitive, as seen in his friendship with Teru. He’s romantic, as is the driving force of his character (and romance is a perfectly acceptable goal, marriage is one of the most common things for a person to strive towards in life). He’s violent and overprotective, striking down any man who makes Aoi uncomfortable. He’s emotional, prone to fits of joy, anger, and tears. He’s easily annoyed and carries a chip on his shoulder, but that doesn’t stop him from wanting to help people. He hates supernaturals because of how they hurt others, and despite his stance as a School Mystery, he is so painstakingly human. He can be aggressive, especially when someone he loves is trying to do something self-destructive. He cares so deeply for people, wearing his heart on his sleeve. He’d stay up all night playing video games if it made the girl he loves happy, but he won’t attack Teru for having genuine feelings for her. He’s incredibly loyal. He’s also casually bisexual so there’s that

Idk there’s just so much more to Akane’s character than people give him credit for, I didn’t even cover everything. Remember when you’re analyzing a character, it’s important to look deeper than “they enjoy this” or “this is their job.” Akane may devote so much of his life to Aoi, but he is still his own person, whether he realizes that or not

I am begging ya’ll to stop throwing the “no character outside of Aoi” allegations at this man

#akane aoi #analysis #ramble #rant #call it what you want #there are a few other allegations i’d like you all to stop throwing at him but i’ll hold my tongue #i love akane so much guys PLEASE try to understand his character beyond your hatred for aoiaoi #aoiaoi #terukane #in theory #lemonkane #they were implied #tbhk #toilet bound hanako kun #aoi akane #teru minamoto #nene yashiro

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bomber-grl · 10 months ago

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General grover dating headcanons ⋆°🌱

~ ⋆｡‧𖦹 Grover Underwood x Gn!Reader

Grover is the absolute sweetest 😭🫶

Ofc he’s super sassy too but that’s besides the point

Grover initially is a bit hesitant on acting on his crush on you

Especially if you’re a demigod and mostly because he’s just shy like that

He needs some obvious encouragement and gets a good amount of it from annabeth and Percy

I mean, from first glance Grover has been attracted to you and just you as a person overall

Unfortunately he hadn’t gotten the opportunity to be your friend just yet but that was one of his main goals

He eventually began running into you, usually at the pavilion when he would talk to Percy or if you work at the strawberry fields then he gets to know you

Otherwise you’re introduced by Percy, his wingman

He’s so painfully awkward around you it sorta endearing 😭

He really doesn’t know how to romance you or even begin trying to get close to you as a friend so he’s definitely struggling with that

It’s not until he finds a subject that your interested in and he might even go as far as watching the show, reading the book I mean anything to have common ground 😭

I mean to even date Grover you’d have to be in touch with nature so if you’re an advocate for nature and have an appreciation for it and it’s animals then he’s even more enamored with you

Especially if you confront people on it because he sometimes doesn’t have the confidence to

Anyway, the way you two started dating was around the time or maybe a little after he was rescued in sea of monsters

Dude really realized how scared and how fast things can pass so he tries his best to hype himself up and Percy does the same

Annabeth too but tries to not bring up the actual probability-

Anyway

You’re both probably done tending to the strawberries or maybe after lunch time

You’re both grateful to just be alive and well at camp and you both decide to go for a walk since it’d been awhile

You both walked past trees and it got to a certain point where Grover just sat down and asked you to join him

He had planned this a million times, rehearsed it to the point it was engraved into his mind-

“I like you”

Huh?

You had just confessed to him in a seconds impulsivity when this guy had been mentally preparing your whole friendship

EVEN BEFORE

his jaw drops and gave up on trying to create a romantic atmosphere

He just turns to you deflated and admits that he was planning on confessing

And when you noticed his demeanor you had asked how long he’d been planning to, thus him explaining the embarrassingly long amount of time he put into his plan

He was so embarrassed and his face showed just that

All you could really do was laugh at his expression and find it endearing

Of course you two end up together after that and Grover, despite his previous sulking, was a very happy saytr

Now onto the actual hcs

Grover is so romantic 😭🫶

He’s constantly getting you things that are mostly little trinkets

He’d even offer to play you a song despite his obvious embarrassment

He always goes out to show you things and show you pretty rocks or anything really

It’s so endearing and once you let him know this thought-

Grover’s being practically evaporates from the earth

He’s slow to be more affectionate but his overall demeanor and shy smile on his face shows he’s more than welcoming to it

He loves to hug 😭

I mean he’s slow to and a bit shy but he loves to

Like seriously

He’s always smiling when hugging you and it’s his favorite thing

You’re practically glued together at this point

He isn’t too big on kissing kissing but he loves to kiss your cheeks

Especially if they’re chubbier then he likes showing affection that way

He’s honestly the best

Especially with how often he gifts you stuff and always wanting to go on little dates

Of course he takes into consideration what sort of things you like but his ass does NOT have real money 💀

So it’s sorta a plot hole but u still love his dirt poor ass

#gn reader #male reader #fanfic #female reader #fluff #fanfic fluff #fluff headcanons #pjo x reader #pjo fanfic #pjo fanfiction #pjo fandom #pjo series #pjoverse #grover underwood #grover pjo #grover x reader

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escapedaudios · 10 months ago

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We've gotta do something about these YouTubers "reacting" to audio roleplays as cringe material. It's so fucking stupid, it's a form of narrative fiction. If you want to have a valid opinion on it you have to actually fucking listen to it. I can't stand seeing YouTubers open a video, listen to ten seconds, "react", then skip around the audio and listen to another random ten seconds then skip to another audio and do the same.

This would be like if someone made a video called "reacting to novels" where they opened a book, read five sentences, made an exaggerated face for the thumbnail, then skipped to chapter 15 or opened another book and did the same thing. It's actually ridiculous.

Reaction content fucking sucks already. But taking long form media and chopping it into 20 second random pieces to quickly "react" to for cheap content is unbelievable. Most of the people doing this shit don't even seem to have a clue what audio roleplay even is. Like halfway through the video they'll pause and ask "Oh, are the pauses me talking?". Or they'll make this shocked face and be like "uhhh, is this guy supposed to be my boyfriend?" when they jumped to like the 14th video in a slow burn romance series. Holy shit just either listen to the actual audio or shut the fuck up.

Maybe it's just me but as a general rule I won't talk bad about anything or anyone that I haven't learned enough about to give a fair chance. It's actually so fucking annoying.

#I've gotta make a video essay advocating for audio roleplay #Like this is actually unfair #Especially when they're big youtubers #audio roleplay #escaped audios #audio rp #asmr roleplay #boyfriend asmr #voice acting

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green-tea-in-absinthe-bottle · 1 month ago

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That boy is a problem

Niragi x gn!reader. Headcanons - Niragi as your roommate. Takes place before AiB story. GENERAL MASTERLIST

Having Niragi as your roommate includes:

🚩Having no privacy. This guy has a job in IT and no friends, he's 24/7 at home - working or gaming. He isn't used to having company so he's pretty excited and curious about his roommate. He will keep an eye on you, at first just casually hanging out in common spaces you spend a lot of time in like kitchen or living room, but once he gets comfortable he will just follow you around the house when he's bored. Good luck ignoring him - he will peak at your phone over your shoulder and comment on your personal conversations with people. Wants you to gossip about them with him. If you read a book he mocks some characters, especially if it's a cliche romance book. Niragi would try to make you share earbuds with him as well. Also he has great Wi-Fi but he's online so much all your devices will constantly lag. If you want to watch something on Netflix you have to convince him to watch with you or deal with shitty connection break every 10 minutes. If you guys watch something together he will try to initiate conversation every 10 minutes as well so it's not much better.

🚩 The only time you can just chill with him without him annoying you is when he plays games. He doesn't mind you watching (will flex his great strategy ✨) or even resting your head on his shoulder, but don't talk to him now. He's trying to think. When it's you playing games he will interrupt all the time, criticizing your tactics and advising you on what to do. It pisses you off, but he really knows what he's talking about and points out your mistakes with awful accuracy. BTW he always plays games with full volume and doesn't use headphones, if you ask him to do so he will just say it gives him headache. Thankfully you can't hear this noise upstairs so if you practice playing instruments or just need some silence from time to time you have a place to hide in. He mains Bryan Fury in Tekken btw

🚩Doesn't mind you using his things at all. You forgot to buy toothpaste? Take his, no problem. Your laptop stopped working? Just use his one. Whatever it is from shirts and hair ties to very personal belongings - he can share, but unfortunately he expects you to do the same in return. You just cooked some food? Too bad, he wants some.Oh, you are thirsty and got yourself something to drink? He wants a sip. Yes, from the same cup or bottle you drink from. If you use bonnets he will steal them, secretly wants you to braid his hair. Thankfully when it comes to household chores he is just as good at sharing, he lived alone most of his adult life so feel free to leave things you find unpleasant to him, with one exception. He can't cook for shit. Legit would set the kitchen on fire. If you ask him he might help you take hot things out of oven or wash some veggies.

🚩Niragi has no sense of personal space, so be ready to get tickled or picked up by him out of nowhere,your irritated expression and cute squeaks humor him more than he would admit. Be happy he isn't as unhinged as his Borderlands version or he would lick you just to get reaction out of you. He isn't openly perverted but will regularly visit your bedroom at night for a "sleepover", trying to sleep in one bed with you. Might or might not try to cuddle with you, depending on how much and for how long he knows you.Will touch your things, play with your claw clips and ask you about everything you put on your face during skincare routine.

🚩He hates to be alone and will do anything he can to stop you from moving out, he doesn't care if he hurts somebody in the process. If you try to pack your things some of them will mysteriously disappear, if you try to get a better job that will allow you to make enough money to buy your own place he will sabotage you so you get late for job interview. He doesn't give a shit that he has to pay the bigger part of all the bills cause your part - time job is so underpaid. Don't even try to get a boyfriend that could move you into his own apartment - Niragi will do everything in his power to get you two to break up.Yes, including lying to both of you and making your boyfriend think you don't love him or that you're cheating on him. At one point the way he is always hanging around somewhere near you starts to feel more sad than creepy to you. It's a bit as if he was afraid to ask to be included but desperately craved connection with somebody.Without lowering your guard you just let him approach you for as long as he behaves.

🚩Pre - Borderlands version of Niragi doesn't have the balls to be pushy towards you, or maybe this side of his nature didn't wake up yet, so don't worry about him making an unwanted move on you.Still, he will definitely offer to "cheer you up" in a special way if you have a bad day. He will walk around shirtless and flash his tongue piercing at you to fluster you, might try to convince you to sit on his lap when he plays. You are banned from his room when he works or he would get distracted and nothing would get done, but won't be mad if you bring him food.

🚩Even if most of the time your coexistence is both possible and sometimes even enjoyable, sooner or later his issues will come to the surface, so if you want to live in peace I would suggest convincing him to go to therapy. Sooner or later his fear of rejection and impulsiveness will make your life harder. He doesn't like it when you go out with other friends cause he is once again left all alone, waiting for you to come back, knowing you have option of spending time with other people while he has nobody but you. Niragi is afraid that you only spend time with him because you have to live with him and you will cut him off once you can move out.When he feels insecure he will get extremely pissed off and passive aggressive. If you try to prevent this by treating him differently than usual he will see it as manipulation. Huge trust issues.

#alice in borderland #niragi suguru #aib niragi #niragi alice in borderland #niragi x reader #x reader

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fanfic-lover-girl · 9 months ago

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The HP Epilogue: JKR's trashfire ending to a trash book series

I was reading snippets from the epilogue for the first time and everything about the epilogue is just frustrating. And I want to share things I found intolerable about it to let off steam. These are MY opinions so if you feel differently, I am happy for you. But here is a summary of my gripes.

The names of the Hinny Harry's kids

James Sirius. Albus Severus. Lily Luna. I can empathize with wanting to honour people you love by naming your kids after them...but this is just overkill. Not one of Harry's kids has an original name. Not one! And I said Harry's kids because it seems like Ginny had absolutely no input in the names. If I am being generous, maybe the Luna name was hers, but given the naming pattern of the kids, I am sure that Luna references Lupin and not Luna Lovegood. Sometimes I feel as if Harry has a domineering vibe in Hinny and the kids' names are not doing any favours to combat that. Not surprising as everything about the Hinny romance was dictated by Harry's wants. Who cares about Ginny?

Muggleborne discrimination is bad but pureblood discrimination is A-ok

‘You’re right, sorry,’ said Ron, but unable to help himself, he added, ‘don’t get too friendly with him, though, Rosie. Granddad Weasley would never forgive you if you married a pure-blood.’

I could not believe my eyes when I read this. It's like Ron forgot that HIS family is pureblood! It's the same vibe as a black parent telling their black or mixed kid not to marry another black person! Luna is pureblood! Neville is pureblood! Do the Weasleys have some kind of self-hatred?? Another point to purebloods slowly dying out but who cares? As far as JKR is concerned, the wizards should be aiming to all be mutts with mixed blood :)

BTW the Scorpius/Rose pairing fills me with revulsion. I like Albus and Scorp as friends though! But not so much as lovers.

Marriage is the only way to be truly part of a family

‘Oh, it would be lovely if they got married!’ whispered Lily ecstatically. ‘Teddy would really be part of the family then!’

Got some heavy Hinny vibes from this line of dialogue. Harry did not become a true Weasley until he got with Ginny after all :)

I know Lily is a kid and she means no malice, but I truly felt disgust towards this line. It just bothers me, especially in the context of Hinny and how Ginny functions as a way for Harry to become a Weasley member. Teddy is Harry's godson, he should be like a big brother to Lily. How does becoming a cousin-in-law make him more of a family member compared to being her surrogate big bro??

Do Hogwarts alumni swear an oath of secrecy?

‘And you don’t want to believe everything he tells you about Hogwarts,’ Harry put in.

He had never told any of his children that before, and he saw the wonder in Albus’s face when he said it.

So James Sirius is telling Albus Severus exaggerated tales about Hogwarts similar to what the Weasley twins did to Ron. But how is this possible? Do the parents not talk about Hogwarts to their kids? If my kid was going to my alma mater, I would tell him/her all about the school when I went there. I don't understand why it seems like parents don't talk about Hogwarts. At least Draco's parents seem to talk to him about the school at least.

Muggle abuse is still funny Ha. Ha.

‘As a matter of fact, I did Confund him,’ Ron whispered to Harry, as together they lifted Albus’s trunk and owl on to the train. ‘I only forgot to look in the wing mirror, and let’s face it, I can use a Supersensory Charm for that.’

Remember that Ron is an Auror! A wizarding cop! But nah muggles are still lesser than wizards so even a guy like Ron who's supposed to be a good hero character feels no shame in messing with their autonomy. Ron is literally so disgusting in the epilogue. Never thought I would end HP finding Ron the least tolerable of the trio when Ron is usually my fav of the 3. Not that the bar is very high for the other two.

JKR really does not like Draco

His hair was receding somewhat, which emphasised the pointed chin.

Of course, JKR can't end the series without throwing more shade at Draco. He's rocking the middle-aged man look, only has one kid and has a love interest that we know squat about. And then in CC, Draco's wife dies! Sigh, I really hate Drastoria...

All is not well

There is still house discrimination. Magical creatures likely still have fewer rights. Aurors like Ron and everyday wizards abuse their powers against muggles. Purebloods are dying out. Wizards like Albus act like they did not grow up in a magical world, aka wizards still have low brain cell counts. But sure, Harry's scar is fine so ALL IS WELL!

I can't believe there are people out here calling JKR a good writer! I see the vast potential of the book series and I feel so sad sometimes. I am so happy that HP never existed in my childhood.

#harry potter series #anti harry potter #harry potter epilogue #hp 19 years later #weasley family #anti hinny #ron weasley critical #anti jkr #draco malfoy #harry james potter #james sirius potter #albus severus potter #lily luna potter #anti scorose #anti drastoria #muggle discrimination #pureblood discrimination #draco deserved a better author

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cedarxwing · 7 months ago

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The ending of Hannibal the novel explained

(aka the breastfeeding scene)

Here's the passage (end of Chapter 101):

I thought everyone was kidding about the breastfeeding kink jokes until my partner read Hannibal and the whole ending flew over their head. Their main takeaway was "that was weird." When I checked reddit, it seemed everyone was confused there too. I was gobsmacked to see one guy say that Thomas Harris was playing some cruel joke on the reader by writing an ending that didn't make sense!

How many people are reading Hannibal like this, completely missing the resolution to Hannibal's character arc? They must finish the book confused about what it was all about in the first place. So here's how I understand it!

First, I need to get this out of the way: a lot of people hate this scene, and from what I understand it's because they're weirded out by the "breastfeeding kink." Which is fine, but it makes me want to gently hold them by the hand and tell them that it's ok for someone to suck on a nipple. It happens all the time. Sometimes it just feels good, sometimes it's part of a breastfeeding fantasy, and sometimes it's literal breastfeeding. Between consenting adults, this is all fine and normal. Let's all move past this knee-jerk repulsion (or alternatively, sit in our discomfort and expand our horizons) so we can analyze this piece of art together. :)

Next, authors LOVE Freudian psychoanalysis. Even though it's all nonsense, it's full of literary allusion and makes for compelling narratives and character studies (childhood maladjustment, repressed memories, etc), which is basically catnip for a writer. Thomas Harris was no exception, and probably creamed himself (as I did) when he learned that Freud's oral-sadistic stage was also termed the "cannibalistic stage," referring to the time when an infant is growing teeth and begins to bite at the breast--the psychosexual urge to devour and destroy the thing you love. What could be more appropriate for Hannibal?

Next, consider the pattern of Hannibal's Il Mostro murders. He killed young couples in one of the most romantic cities in the world, then arranged them as Chloris and Zephyr from Botticelli's Primavera, exposing Chloris's left breast just like in the painting. In classical art, an exposed breast is often a symbol of fertility. Chloris is associated with spring, new growth, and transformation.

Perhaps, at the time, Hannibal rationalized these murders as retribution for rude behavior. Maybe the couples were performing disgusting PDA. Maybe they were obnoxious tourists on their honeymoons. Either way, it's clear to the reader that Hannibal has some deep-seated hang up about sex and romance.

The particulars of this hang up are open to interpretation, but based on Hannibal's obsession with the rape and transformation of Chloris as well as his embarrassment at the paintings of Leda and the Swan in the German's house, I think it's safe to say that Hannibal feels like any relationship he has with a woman who isn't aware of his true (monstrous) identity would involve a degree of violence/lack of consent. He is forever barred from normal romance.

Having given up on sex/romance, Hannibal is unable to consciously recognize his desire for Clarice, so he sublimates it into a more general familial love. He longs for a return to innocence, to return to the time before he ate Mischa and became an unlovable monster (cue the teacup metaphor).

But even familial love seems like too much to hope for, so he sublimates it further into something that seems more attainable: resurrecting the person whom he loved and devoured, and who loved him in turn (Mischa) through Clarice.

So we have the breast as a symbol of sex/fertility (Chloris/Clarice), as an object that is loved and devoured (Mischa), and as a literal source of sustenance that must be given up during infancy (mommy).

Big brain Clarice connects all these dots and, in the very same style of therapy that Hannibal has been using on her, distills Hannibal's psychological problems into a single poetic gesture that completely fixes Hannibal in an instant, proving that she's not only his intellectual equal, but is, in some ways, his superior.

When Clarice asks, "Did you ever feel that you had to relinquish the breast to Mischa? Did you ever feel you were required to give it up for her?", she's ostensibly asking Hannibal if he's stuck in the oral stage of childhood development (which yeah he probably is). On a deeper level, she's asking Hannibal to consider if he's given up on love.

When Clarice exposes her breast in the same fashion as Chloris, says, "You don’t have to give up this one", and suspends the drop of wine from her nipple, she is shifting his perception of her breast from familial devoured sustenance to a sexual object. Basically, "Why do you want me to pretend I'm your sister when we could be banging?" Hannibal is being aged out of his childlike mindset, not regressing into one.

There are other layers of meaning in this act. The hedonism of using thousand dollar wine for food play is a sign of Clarice's character development. The way Hannibal kneels before Clarice is a position of subservience, but could also be interpreted as devouring Clarice in a way that's new to him. It's the most self-actualized thing Hannibal has done since escaping prison (LOL) and marks the end of his hero's journey (as one of the first things we see him do in Hannibal Rising is nurse).

Personally, I don't read this scene as breastfeeding kink. Yeah, Clarice talks about breastfeeding, but that was more a metaphor for other stuff. Considering the direction of Hannibal's character arc, I understand this scene as him briefly licking the wine off before they have sex. But to each their own! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ANYWAY, yeah, it's unsettling. It's obviously meant to be. But it's beautifully unsettling! Hate it all you want, but this is peak cannibal romance, to me!!

#hannibal meta #hannibal #clarice starling

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bonny-kookoo · 1 year ago

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Jungkook

𝐑𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞 [Part 2: New Life]

Some feelings that you think you've never felt might just be buried beneath the things you've been trying to forget.

General Tags/Warnings: Mafia!Tiger!Jungkook, Deer!Reader, somewhat dark romance, Crime, Blood & Violence, angst, fluff?, Rollercoaster of emotions TM, Angst, Injury?, Death (of a minor character), murder out of self-defense, gun violence, mentioned torture, do I sense some.. fluff??

Length: ~5k words.

There is no taglist for this fic.

-> Masterlist

⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅

"Going short now?" Namjoon comments a bit teasingly, as Jungkook enters the kitchen downstairs, where most are currently busy eating breakfast-except you.

"It bothered me." He mumbles. "Did she already have breakfast?" He wonders towards Hoseok, who shrugs.

"She wanted to go to check out the books in the second office. Yoongi said I should let her." He defends himself, and Jungkook nods, though he's not happy.

"I still would like for at least someone to stay close to her." He says, filling one cup with coffee, and the other one with tea.

Two sugars, the same you always liked it. Do you still like it that way now?

He opens the door with his elbow, quietly as he can, spotting you near the windows with numerous books placed on the windowsill, your legs pulled close, cheek resting on your knees as you read. Your ears twitch towards him, but it's clear that you no longer fear him after a few days of living here now.

That's good. He likes that development.

The door closes, and you look towards him now, watching how he walks closer, placing the two cups on the small coffee table nearby, before he sits down on the leather sofa near the window where you sit. "Reading?" He wonders, but you shake your head, moving to walk closer, placing the book opened on the table.

It's a fable. He didn't even know he still had this book.

"Can't read it, huh." He mumbles, pulling the book closer, before he pats the spot next to him once to invite you to sit- which you do, watching how he closes it, inspects it's roughed down edges, before he opens it again. He sighs, leans back, holds the book against the leg he's got thrown over the other, to show you the pictures accompanying the story. "Basically.. Alright. So, there was a king, and he got pretty fucking sick." He explains, and you slowly move your legs up, naked feet now on the sofa as you lean against Jungkook, first actual physical contact you both have-

ever since he left you.

"No one had a clue why, until one of the healers got the stupid idea that a rabbit's liver would heal the guy." He simplifies the story in his rather rough words, but you listen regardless, studying the imagery in the book. "So, the king asked his minions who'd go up to the surface and get a rabbit down under the sea." Jungkook goes on, looking at you for a second. "But most of them were cowards, and didn't dare go up onto the surface." He tells you further, before shrugging, looking back at the pages. "Granted, how would a whale or a squid walk on land, but it's a kid's tale, so I guess it's whatever.."

You giggle. Faint voice accompanying it- and while it still hurts to be reminded of your forever pain, the fact that you're amused, makes him feel at ease.

"So, a turtle said he'd do it, and went upstairs to the dry lands to find a rabbit." He continues, moving the pages, new images for you to see revealed. "And when he found one, he lied to the rabbit to get him to come down under the sea with him- because no way would that fucker go down with him to get his organs stolen." He explains. "Told him that he was invited by the king to be a simple guest- and the rabbit believed the turtle, because why not? It's a great opportunity." He says, and at that, you seem to fall deep into thought.

"And at first…" Jungkook moves on, turning the pages again to show new drawn pictures of the kingdom of the seas the rabbit rides through, sat on the turtle's back. You're equally as mesmerized it seems like, until Jungkook continues the story. "Everything was beautiful. The scenery, the people, the first impression." He finishes his sentence, turning the page again. "Until he stood in front of the king, and learned why he was really there."

Your eyes widen as you look at the picture of the giant king, and the small rabbit sat in front.

"But the rabbit wasn't as easy to trick as they thought." He suddenly says with a lower, more serious tone now, and at that, you look at Jungkook, hopeful eyes demanding him to continue. "The rabbit told him he'd love to cure him, but that he left his liver in the forest up on land." He says, and you no longer seem interested in the pictures as you watch how Jungkook closes the book- he knows how this story ends, after all.

"He lied as well, and made the turtle bring him back up." He reveals, before he looks back at you. "And then told that cunt that he lied just as much, before he ran away into the safety of the forest-" Jungkook tells you, reaching out to brush some of your hair away from your face. "-never to be caught by the king again."

It reminds you of something. But you're not sure if it's real, or if it was a dream.

Maybe it was both.

Or maybe even neither.

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"Jungkook- before I show you this you have to promise me you'll stay as calm as you can." Hoseok threatens, shielding the screen from the tiger hybrid who's already suspicious. "I know you'll freak out, but.. try and not do something irrational." He says, making Jungkook glare at him for a good moment, before he nods, crossing his arms.

Only then does Hoseok step aside, clicking to start the video that he's snatched before it could be sent directly to Jungkook's laptop.

And now Jungkook know exactly why Hoseok was so worried, and watched it himself first before deciding to show it to him later.

He knows exactly where this was filmed- the cage in the middle of the warehouse too familiar to ever forget. It's as if Jungkook can smell the sweat and fear and aggression around him again, mixed with the iron of blood and cracking of bones. But this time, it's not him in the ring. This time, he might be witnessing why you're now lost without any memories of what and who you once were.

Sickeningly enough, he has to admit that solely on an objective base, you're very agile in dodging- but it's clear that you're not good at keeping that stamina up, as you're tugged away from the side of the cage you cling to, and thrown into a corner, back hitting the metal mesh harshly. You're kicked, and punched, and tugged around like a ragdoll-and he can't tear his eyes away as he watches you trying to shield yourself from the aggression of the large bear hybrid that's trying to stomp you into the stained floor below.

And then people clap, and Daeho steps up to the cage, opening it up after the bear hybrid is removed. You tumble out, unmoving for a second, before you slowly sit up- much to Jungkook's surprise.

You've endured so much. Just for the sick entertainment of others?

You took his place.

Daeho leans down to you, says something to you, before you're taken away, uncaring of the fact that you clearly cannot walk- and Jungkook can't watch anymore, fist forcefully coming down onto the table, causing several items to jump and fall over as he paces with his hands on his head, trying to keep his cool.

"It would explain her amnesia." Namjoon mumbles, watching Hoseok close the video again. "Jimin mentioned that she has some weakness in her left leg when she walks, and that there's scarring on her back, as well as on her right side." He says. "He assumes she had a collapsed lung at some point, and a leg injury that did not heal properly. But she would have to be properly examined in a hospital for that."

"Then we bring her to one." Jungkook says. "We have an agreement with Seoul Central. Admit her there, and make sure Jimin and Seokjin stay-" He starts, but Namjoon shakes his head.

"She's not mentally stable enough for that, Jungkook." He worries. "And currently, she's not having any major issues at all. We shouldn't put her through any stress she doesn't have to go through."

Jungkook nods, growls to himself. He knows this.

And hates feeling this helpless.

"Why doesn't she talk?" Jungkook wants to know, and everyone is silent at that, unsure if they should answer. But one look from Jungkook's darkened eyes is enough to make Namjoon submit to the pressure.

"Jimin said he suspects.. that her vocal chords are paralyzed from a past infection.." He starts, and from the look he receives from his leader, he knows he cannot just leave it at that. "..or that it was intentional damage."

"Speak clearly to me." Jungkook demands.

"Acid. Bleach. Battery fluid." Jimin takes over, having entered the room so quietly almost no one noticed him. "She was probably silenced before she was sold." He bluntly states, Jungkook's pulse raging at this point.

"Can it be fixed?" Jungkook asks lowly, hard to hear.

"Most likely not entirely." Jimin explains. "But she might be able to learn how to speak again, if only faintly- if it is only scar tissue preventing the vocal chords to move properly." He shrugs, leaning against a wall. "There's no magic cure for her, Jungkook. She's got permanent injuries, physical and mental. There's no sugarcoating it." He shrugs.

Not many people dare to speak so bluntly with the tiger hybrid- but Jimin has quite literally nothing to lose. He's got no home, no friends, no family, no career- no identity except here, no home besides this place. If Jungkook kicks him out, he's a ghost, nothing else.

So he's as bold as he needs to be.

"There's already a chance she might remember what's happened to her." Jimin says, catching Jungkook's attention on him. "And when that happens.."

"…she'll need you more than ever."

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When Jungkook opens the door, you're met with a different sight than usual.

His black button up has the first few buttons undone, sleeves rolled up to reveal his tattoos, dark eyes looking at you from beneath his hair that's hanging a little over his forehead. He's silent, gazes down at you- before he walks aside, and lets you in.

He always lets you in.

It's clear from the book you're holding that you probably want him to read something again- but the moment he reaches for it, you suddenly step back, walking away from him to put the book on his office table instead, right next to his laptop. He's confused, especially when you take his hand to tug him towards the small leather sofa that's situated in this room- making him sit down, before you search for something, clearly not finding it.

So instead, you run out the room, making him notice what Jimin has mentioned- the way you seem less steady on one of your legs as you leave the room, only returning a few minutes later, closing the door behind you.

Before you gently push his shoulder to the side, blanket thrown over him.

"I'm not tired." He tells you, but you look at him, before you point at your eyes. "I always look like that." He defends himself, but you still shake your head, forcing him back down.

Forcing being not the right word really, considering you're technically no match for him, at least not physically. And he has to admit- he is actually quite tired.

What he does notice however is how you sit down in front of the sofa now, your back against the furniture as you watch the door.

You're guarding him.

And somehow, that hurts.

"You don't have to watch over me, you know." He tells you, hand reaching out for your head. "Go sleep as well." He tells you- but you seem to misunderstand, because you suddenly crawl underneath the blanket in front of him, settling on his arm as you cling to him now, hiding almost in his chest.

You can't voice out your confusion, can't tell him how disorienting it feels to be so drawn to him, and crave his comfort like this, when you don't even know him.

Or do you?

You dream of him, more often now that you're living here in the same space as he does. You're not sure what those dreams mean at all, but you believe they might be trying to tell you something you can't figure out yet.

What you can figure out currently however, is the fact that as he holds you a little tighter now, adjusting the blanket over your shoulder, you feel him almost.. no. That can't be right.

Because why would he be sad?

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You woke up in your own room this morning, unsure how you got there.

Now you're in Hoseok's 'office'- the basement area where he keeps all his IT-Equipment and the CCTV-surveillance. He's gone to get himself something to eat, having skipped breakfast this morning, and you nodded towards him when he asked if you would be okay alone- because of course you are.

You know your job here. And you're good at it- Yoongi said that, yesterday.

And maybe that's why you immediately feel drawn to one of the screens, something just feeling out of the ordinary as you scan the cameras that have the front gate and main entrance of the premise in their view. To everyone else, everything would seem absolutely normal- bushes and trees swaying a bit in the wind, faint rain spraying onto the ground, weather today rather gloomy.

But you notice something.

There's a patch of ground near the outside of the front gate that's lighter than the rest- it's not as wet as the rest of the ground is everywhere else. And then, you notice the broken twigs of the left plants decorating the sides of the gate- and you just know something's wrong.

Someone's been there. Watching? Stalking?

Or trying to get in?

When the door opens, you're ready to gain Hoseok's attention to let him know what you found- but the person entering isn't the tall human you've come to know by now. "Huh. So he really keeps you around." The man says, pushing the mask on his face down, clearly not worried about you. It makes sense- you can't speak, and he knows this.

Because he's been the one who made sure of it.

The sight alone makes you tremble like an earthquake rumbles through your veins, boiling water instead of blood rushing through you, burning your insides like ice on a hot stove.

You're paralyzed, body in full fight or flight.

"Do you still squeak like a doorhinge?" He asks, laughs, as he walks closer to tap the keyboard on a nearby pc, opening files, before he takes out a USB stick he plugs into the port.

What is he doing?

How can you get away?

Should you do something?

What will he do if you try to run?

You can see that he's clearly bypassing the systems security by downloading files directly- and you're not sure what exactly that will mean for the future of everyone here. If they know how the premise is set up and how everything works for Jungkook and the company he runs as a cover up to his actual doings, it'll all be over.

You fingers itch. Is it worth losing them?

Yesterday, when Jungkook held you on the couch, you felt odd. He was delicate yet firm in the way he made sure you'd stay close, hands never wandering, only holding you like something precious. Yoongi refuses to tell you either what you are to the tiger hybrid- he just keeps telling you that if you ever feel like you're scared of everything,

Jungkook will never be someone you'll have to fear.

And maybe if you become something he can rely on just as much, you'll finally find someplace you deserve calling home.

Your eyes move around the room, mapping out where the fastest route would be to exit after your fingers find the distinctive panic button under the desk you're standing next to.

"Don't even think about it." Han says, and you freeze, mouth drying up. "You wouldn't do that." He chuckles, looking over at you.

And you're not sure why that makes you angry.

But it does.

The electricity cuts off, room dipped in nothing but black before the red emergency light turns on after you press the button- and you're already out the door, dashing down the hallway and up the stairs while you can hear Han right behind you, gun being shot into your direction.

Did he hit you? Miss you? You can't tell, your ears are ringing.

You don't know where you're running to when you realize the familiar hallway you're finding yourself in- and again, you decide in a split second to be brave, because this is all you have to lose now. This is all you have to your name- and Jungkook's voice suddenly echoes in your head.

"You belong here, and nowhere else."

He'd said it with such finality that it made you unsure back then- but now, after meeting Yoongi, and Hoseok, and Seokjin and Jimin and Namjoon and everyone else-

You believe it, even if it's a lie to keep you here.

"From now on, you're mine."

And you want to be his.

You want to belong.

And if this is your chance to earn your spot, you'll take it.

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Everyone's on edge as they peak around corners, guns drawn and loaded.

Yoongi watches as Jungkook's eyes reflect in the dark just like his own, the hybrids of the estate having a huge advantage right now with their eyesight quickly adapting to the darkness.

It's why Jungkook put it in place together with him, back when they put up the entire security system.

The only thing he's currently worried about is the lack of communication- with the entire system down, it must've been something wrong in the IT-room in the basement, which meant that the entire system would shut down to prevent either damage or theft.

But it also meant that you're involved, since you're supposed to be with Hoseok.

Another pair of reflective eyes is found, one a little dimmer than the other signaling that it's Taehyung who's looking at them. He nods, quiet greeting, before everyone moves around, quietly, unsure what's currently going on.

Namjoon and Hoseok are probably hiding right now, as they should.

Then, a shot.

Another one, right after.

And then, it's quiet.

"Did someone deal with it?" Taehyung whispers and Jungkook can't answer that, so everyone moves rather towards the sound of the last shot, to figure out what had happened.

It leads the small group near the entrance hall, where Jungkook spots..

you?

He immediately tells Taehyung who's not met you yet to realize it's you, to put down his weapon, everyone clearly now relaxing as well. Yoongi, right behind Jungkook, locks eyes with everyone- a clear sign to stay back, because the smell of fear is thick in the air.

Jungkook makes sure to walk loud enough for you to notice- ears snapping back towards him, body still shaking as you hold something in front of you.

And once he reaches you, he can see it.

Your hands clench the gun so tightly that he's wondering not if it hurts- but how much. The man in front of your feet is gone by now, shot right in the face, and once in his neck, blood soaking up your socks. Your finger is still pushing down the trigger even though the magazine is clearly empty, gun no longer a threat, barely warm to the touch most likely.

He's slow as he walks closer behind you, arms taking the same position as yours do, as he gently holds your hands.

"You're okay." He tells you, and only now do you seem to start breathing again, if only just a little, before you walk back, panic bubbling up inside you as you notice the blood on your feet- but he holds you, takes the gun away from you before he let's Yoongi take it, turning you over to instead hold onto him-

your hoarse screams barely loud enough to echo off the walls of the entrance hall, while you painfully sob against the tiger's chest.

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"It was just a graze. Almost nothing." Jimin sighs, as he puts down the gun in the plastic bag on Jungkook's table. "What's more interesting, would be who she shot." He sings almost, sitting down boldly across from him on the table, curled tail almost knocking down some papers.

"Did Namjoon figure it out?" Jungkook wonders, closing his laptop before he pulls the glass of whiskey closer, ice cubes knocking against the glass as he brings it to his lips.

"His name's Park Han." Jimin says. "And, according to tapes, he was Daeho's favorite when it came to.. suspect torture." He says.

"What are you trying to tell me-" He wants to know, when Jimin puts down a folded note, clearly coming from your notebook.

'They held my head back, and he laughed.' is written in shaky handwriting. 'And then he poured-'

Jungkook doesn't read any further.

"She took her revenge." Jimin offers, taking the note back before he offers another one. "And she's starting to understand, too." The wolfdog explains, his folded, torn ear moving towards the tiger as he takes the note to read. "I asked her why she did it, just for context."

'I belong here.' is written down.

'Jungkook's office was down the left side, so I went right' the note continues. Jungkook fills in what Jimin probably asked you himself- it's not hard to do.

'He protects us. So we must protect him, when he can't'

"She's right, you know?" Jimin kindly says, the tiger slowly looking up only with his eyes. "You protect us. And we'll be here for you too, when you need us." He offers, his torn ear flicking around a bit- a common thing, since he has permanent nerve damage in it after having it shredded by a shotgun, years ago when Jungkook found him. "You're not on your own." Jimin reminds him.

And Jungkook stays silent, before he folds the note, and puts it into a drawer of his office desk.

To keep, if he needs the reminder once more.

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"We gotta teach you how to properly shoot." Yoongi comments as he looks at your bruised hands- wrist safely tucked into a brace from having gotten hurt during the two shots you made. You instantly shake your head, clearly not on board with that idea. "No?" The dog hybrid chuckles, though he lets the topic go for now.

Thanks to you, nothing was stolen- and the few drops of data lost during the shutdown of the system are nothing compared to what could've happened.

Now, you're sitting on a bench outside in the backside gardens, enjoying the smell the rain left earlier today. It's been a week since the incident, and you've changed.

Jimin already said that something must've clicked in your head- cementing your believe now that you do in fact belong into this place. And while he's not sure if the reason you believe that now is the correct one, it's a start- right now, you feel like you earned your place, and that's okay.

You never had to, but you did it nonetheless.

And in this very moment, Yoongi realizes that you don't actually need your memories all that much. You don't have to know who he is to befriend him like you're slowly doing now. You don't have to know who Jungkook is to learn how to trust him.

Your past is long gone anyways- there's no use in chasing it.

These days, Yoongi's job has changed. He's now officially your very own guard dog, watching over you in person, or like a ghost from the sidelines when you want to be alone. And he likes this. Because you're clearly okay with it.

It leads to moments like these, where one could be fooled into thinking that everything's just fine.

"We should go inside now." Yoongi suggests, noticing you shivering a little, standing up together with you to walk back into the mansion shared by everyone. When you enter the kitchen with him, everyone's already eating- except Jungkook.

And it leads to you making everyone laugh again, because you found your very own way of communicating, especially asking for Jungkook.

Your hands find your ears, before you imitate the roundness of Jungkook's, making even the usually stoic Taehyung laugh.

"Oh, Jungkook is in his office." Namjoon tells you.

"How about you bring him something to eat, hm?" Jimin smiles, plating something up before he gives both plates to you. "So he's not lonely." He adds, and you nod, taking both plates from him before you leave the kitchen.

"I thought he wanted to be alone?" Hoseok wonders, and Jimin laughs, sitting back down again next to Yoongi.

"Oh he always wants to be alone, let's be real." He whines. "He could use the company. Maybe he'll take a break for once as well." He shrugs, and everyone agrees digging back into their food.

Meanwhile, you're slowly making your way upstairs, way to Jungkook's office by now well known by you as you stand in front of the door, unsure how to knock now with your hands occupied, and voice useless- now more than ever.

So you use your elbow rather awkwardly, hoping he heard you anyways-

which he did, office door opening with him looking past your head before he looks down to find your eyes staring back- hands offering the plate towards him.

He sighs, well aware that this must've been Jimin's idea.

But he lets you in anyways, offering you a chair to sit on and eat at the office desk with him. And for a good while, it's quiet- his fingers occasionally tapping away on his laptop, food slowly getting cold, when you gain a rush of boldness you're not quite sure of where it comes from.

It might be his scent filling this room. You always feel.. oddly safe when you're close to him.

But suddenly, your hand pushes at the laptop screen, shutting it the second he's giving you a chance for it with his hands gone.

Silence.

There's a staring contest going on for a moment, his signature tiger gaze strong on you, your fingers still on top of the laptop-

when something remarkable happens that makes you feel.. odd.

He smiles. Laughs, even.

And you decide that you want to see more of this side of him.

You want to see him happy.

And maybe that's your true role in this place, down the line.

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#bts imagine #bts fanfic #bts fic #jungkook imagine #hybrid imagine #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook imagine #bts jungkook imagine #jeon jungkook fanfic #jungkook x reader #bts jungkook fanfic #bts jungkook x reader

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spaceorphan18 · 2 months ago

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The Lady Whistledown Papers : 1x07 Ocean's Apart (Part 2)

Welcome back, Gentle Readers, to The Lady Whistledown Papers, where I’m taking an in-depth look at Penelope Featherington and Colin Bridgerton’s character arcs and romance within the show Bridgerton!

For previous issues, follow tag : The Lady Whistledown Papers

Ocean's Apart

It just occurred to me that this scene does not take place in the normal Bridgerton drawing room. Is this Hastings House? Or another room in the Bridgerton home? I haven't paid enough attention to Daphne's story line to notice.

Anyway... Daphne makes good on her promise and has arranged a meeting between Colin and Marina. And I should note the title of the episode -- ocean's apart. It is, of course, a nod to Daphne and Simon's issues, but also to Colin and Marina. And... as I brought up in the previous post -- a nod to the Leander and Hero myth, where the two lovers are split by the ocean. Simon and Daphne, obviously, will find their way back to each other. But Colin and Marina truly are ocean's apart. They are just not meant for each other, and this scene is going to close the book on their romantic story.

Colin starts out by asking for confirmation about the pregnancy. But his wording of it is interesting -- Lady Whistledown cannot be true. Right? Right??? He's so deeply in denial, despite everyone around him telling him otherwise. There was an ounce of hope he had in the faith he had in his own love that the pregnancy was a made up lie to scorn him (them).

Marina is done with the lying. She didn't even want to be there, and is only there because Daphne requested her and she can't really say no to a duchess. She tells Colin the pregnancy is real, and Colin's whole world shifts in that moment (and a nice bit of physicality as Colin himself shifts).

He kind of stutters, asking her really - you're with child? He looks her up and down, too, as if wanting physical proof of this.

Then he says something that is very telling -- 'I do not understand, we were to be wed. You said you loved me.'

And this is where Colin's romantic nature is his undoing. First of all, marriage and love are inextricably linked. You agree to marriage than you agree that love is its basis. In a time where it really was rare, that is one of the values that is at Colin's core. And it shakes him to his very core that Marina lied to him.

Marina tells him - I hold you in the highest regard. Admitting, though, that she does not love him. And that is when Colin's heart is truly breaking. If she had been pregnant and still wanted to get married, was actually in love with him, he could continue playing the romantic hero, could continue drowning in his own love. But she's ripping the mask of the rouse now. She used him, yes manipulated him, and yes used his own love to her advantage.

He gets angry, but it's retrained but emotional. Colin isn't a lash out kind of guy, not like Simon or Anthony. But he does show his hurt visibly, and the words come pouring out as he tries to sort out the situation. He is at an utter loss that she doesn't feel the same way, he's processing all the lies, and claims she's committed a great sin - and it's funny, that yes, the sin is being with child out of wedlock and using someone to cover it up... yes, the sin is, in general, lying. But what it is the most for Colin -- what hurts him the deepest, is lying about love him back.

Colin lives for love. He feels love deeply. He wants to be loved back just as deeply. And for Marina to cast that all aside, to claim she was not there in it with him, feels like the biggest part of the betrayal.

Marina lays down a huge dose of reality though. She stands up for herself, claiming she's not going to allow herself to be shamed by either Colin or Daphne (who isn't really reading in the corner). And while they may think she's a villain, the situation just isn't black and white like that. She takes a moment for herself, when she says that no one ever led her in the right direction, and no one taught her any better - so she's been trying to do what's best for herself.

And it's important to note that Marina did like Colin as a person. She picked him because he was kind and empathetic. That she does appreciate the depth of how he loves. But in all of this, not only was she needing to look after herself and her unborn child, her heart had been utterly broken. And she just cannot with the idyllic love. She cannot with how Colin lives in the clouds with his fantasies. Her reality is a much, much darker place.

The more she talks, the more his heart breaks, and you can see him start to well up. And this is when the emotion, the betrayal, the hurt, the anger really come out. He mocks her a bit when starts saying that he should feel lucky that she chose him? And, it's interesting, as he yells at her, it gets more emotional and for a moment slightly unhinged, and then he immediately pulls himself back and recomposes himself. Another reminder that even at the height of emotion, Colin always pulls inward.

After he collects himself, he tells her, basically, that he's done with her. (It's deliciously dramatic, lol)

She doesn't really have anything else to say, either. But she's upset, too. It's an emotional confrontation. She's sad for herself and her situation. But she truly never really wanted him to be hurt by any of it either. She wasn't being malicious. She was looking out for herself. And now it's all unraveling and she's alone again.

As Colin moves to leave, he pauses and turns one more time to her to say -- the ironic thing is that if she had told him about her situation, he'd have still married her. Because he loves her that much.

And here's my thing about that....

First of all, note the present tense when he says 'that is how in love I believe myself to be'. His heart is shattered, but that love he (thinks he) feels is still very real and still very present. And it's going to take going to Greece to get over it (and even then he won't really be over it until she again firmly shuts the door on him a second time).

Colin loves love and wants love so badly that he's holding onto things that aren't good for him because the alternative is not having that love at all, and he really just doesn't know what to do with it.

The second thing is that hero complex that's coming into play -- the fact that saving her from her predicament means that he'd have self worth. He places a lot of his self worth on his ability to help others, and it's reiterated in this sentiment. If you hadn't deceived me, I would have helped you, I would have been your hero, I would have done anything and everything for you. Because Colin seems to believe that is conditional - and if he isn't helping you, isn't saving you, well then, what good is he? (ah, we will be revisiting this later...)

But here's the thing, the thing that really gets me. As romantic as this sounds? It's TERRIBLE.

If Colin had married Marina, either knowing or not knowing of the pregnancy, he would have ended up utterly miserable. His love would always be unmatched. Even if she did grow affection for him -- and who knows, maybe she would have, but I kind of doubted it. Colin is a bit smothering when in love. And he really needs a partner that not only can cope with that, but doesn't mind getting lost in that themselves.

Not only are Marina's feet a bit too firmly on the ground (she is a practical realistic, who would always burst Colin's bubble) her heart belonged to another and it got shattered. And I don't know that she'd ever really allow anyone to hurt her in that way again, so there'd always be something between them.

Their marriage would end up being incredibly cold. Marina would push him away. Colin would become resentful. And he'd probably throw himself at his kid or traveling or whatever work he could find. But would never really feel that sense of connection that he so desperately desires.

Marina only sees him for her use to him, not for who he is himself. And he may not realize it yet - but he does need someone who likes him for him, not someone who needs him.

But... (I say because I can't shut up about this scene) Colin needed to go through this. It's not a bad thing that he's dosed with reality every once in a while. It's not a bad thing that he gains the experienced of not having been loved back. It's not a bad thing that he learns the difference between infatuation and real love - because he'll be able to recognize real love for what it is when it finally presents itself.

It's all, really, a part of growing up. And Colin is, after all, a young man in that awkward stage between child and adult, where you do go through all of this stuff.

So, we end the scene with a heartbroken Colin rushing away. This is the last time they'll see each other (until Season 2), and it closes the book on the Colin side of this story. (Marina's story will go on without him now...)

But this whole experience not only gives great insight into the type of character he is, but it's going to shape his world in a fundamental way, and have effects to his stories in later seasons.

And... that's where I'm going to stop for now.

#bridgerton #polin #colin bridgerton #polination #the lady whistledown papers #apparently I have a lot to say about Colin and Marina #i could rattle on about it for probably much longer #but more so a lot about how much they don't work and how miserable colin would end up being with her #but this is all good for him in the long run

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