#> from a convo where i asked if i speak strange and everyone said YES YOY DO BITCH and im in denial

[detectivehole]

[morganaspendragonss]

Tarlos prompt.

Carlos just had a break down about life. And his mum sorts him out. Which ends in his Mum having a convo with TK about how much Carlos and her were close until the weird coming out thing

thank you so much for your prompt! i hope you enjoy what i came up with!

also written for day 1 of @911lonestarangstweek: Emotional whump + “How do we fix this?”

ao3 | 2.1k

Of all the people TK might have expected to show up at the house when Carlos is on shift, Andrea Reyes is not one of them.

Unfortunately, however, she has, and TK is now painfully aware that he’s barefoot, wearing a stained t-shirt and sweats in front of his boyfriend’s mother, who he has only officially met once. She raises a solitary eyebrow, looking him up and down, and TK flushes deeply.

“Um, Mrs Reyes, hi,” he stammers. “Carlos is at work.”

“I know.” She smirks at his clear surprise, then gestures inside. “Can I come in?”

“Oh, uh, sure.” TK steps aside, wringing his hands together nervously as Mrs Reyes walks in. She looks around the space as though seeing it for the first time, which he vaguely registers as strange, given Carlos has lived here for years. Most of his mind, however, is taken up with freaking out over the fact that Carlos’s mother is here; she had seemed nice enough when Carlos had taken him over for Sunday dinner last week, but TK is in no way prepared for one-on-one interactions yet.

Especially now, when he’s barely been awake for an hour. “I-If you want to take a seat,” he says, trying to tame his anxiety, “I’ll just go and get changed into something a little more, um, presentable.”

He’s about to make a break for the stairs when Mrs Reyes catches his arm, her grip gentle but firm. “Don’t be silly,” she admonishes. “I may be Carlos’s mother, but this is your home too, no?”

“Well… It’s not... We don’t exactly… Can I get you something to drink?”

“You can sit down.”

Mrs Reyes smiles in clear amusement, and TK’s pretty sure he couldn’t be redder if he tried. He studiously avoids eye contact as he shuffles to the opposite end of the couch, sinking down into it with his gaze firmly fixed on his lap. He wishes Carlos were here, but he’s still got hours left on his shift. 

Which reminds him. “Mrs, Reyes, I don’t mean to be rude, but…” He trails off, unsure how to phrase the question without sounding horrifically insulting. 

Thankfully, she seems to understand. “You’re wondering what I’m doing here.”

TK nods. “Not that you’re not welcome!” he hurries to say. “But I figured you’d be here to see Carlos, only he’s not here, so… So.”

He winces at his own awkwardness, knowing he’s cutting a stark contrast to his behaviour at dinner. Sure, he can turn on the charm when he’s prepared and awake and with Carlos, but alone, half-asleep, and totally not expecting a visit? 

He’s doomed.

Mrs Reyes sighs deeply. When TK looks back up at her, her expression has turned sad, a weariness in her face.

“Carlos came by our house before his shift this morning.”

TK raises a surprised eyebrow at the news; Carlos had left at six this morning, and he hadn’t said anything about going to see his parents. Not that he was supposed to, but TK can’t help but worry, especially with the way Mrs Reyes is looking at him.

“You know that two days ago was his first shift back after the suspension, yes?” she continues, nodding at TK’s confirmation. “He… When he arrived this morning, he was distressed, panicking over everything - mostly work, but he hinted at other things that I don’t… I’m not really sure what he was talking about. I was hoping you might have a little more insight?”

TK’s heart clenches at her words, but he forces a smile for Mrs Reyes’s sake. “What did he say?”

“What I understood was that he was anxious about going back to work. He thinks that no-one trusts him anymore, and he said that maybe they were right not to. I told him he was being crazy, but I don’t know if he listened to me.”

“Carlos never told me any of this,” TK whispers, horrified. He’d had no idea Carlos had been struggling so much, and he could kick himself for not pushing when he’d said that he was fine.

Mrs Reyes smiles thinly. “Of course he didn’t,” she says, almost fondly. “My Carlitos is a worrier; he’ll fuss over everyone else and never give a thought to himself, even if it runs him into the ground. I’m sure you know this.” She gestures to the scar on his forehead, and TK reaches up to touch it, running his fingers lightly over the ridged tissue.

He nods, sighing. “I’m sorry,” he says, barely able to look at her now. “I should have made sure he was okay. I asked, of course I did, but -”

Mrs Reyes cuts him off by reaching over to grab his hand. She smiles at him when TK looks up in shock, then squeezes gently. “You are not to blame. Carlitos can be very stubborn, especially when it comes to himself. He gets that from his father.”

She chuckles, then her face takes on that heavy look again and she lets go of TK, sitting back in her seat. “We talked for a while about his worries over work, but there was a point when I don’t think we were just talking about his job anymore. He said something about Gabriel and never being enough for him, but he wouldn’t explain when I asked. He left soon after that.”

TK swallows nervously. He has a pretty good idea what Carlos might have been referring to, but he doesn’t have a clue how to go about talking to Mrs Reyes about it. It feels wrong to do it without Carlos’s knowledge, anyway.

“It was your husband leading the investigation, wasn’t it?” he hedges, trying to steer her in that direction.

“It was, but this was more than that, I’m sure of it.” She sighs, sudden tears glinting in her eyes and - oh, TK is so not prepared for this. “We used to be so close, you know? All of us. But, one day, something changed. I don’t know what, or why, but suddenly he started keeping his distance more, and he stopped talking to us. I love my son, I only want the best for him, but it’s been years and now I don’t know how to help him.”

She meets his eyes, her gaze almost pleading with him. “You clearly care for him, TK, and I’ve never seen my son so happy as when he’s with you. Please, if you know anything… I just want to understand.”

TK bites his lip. Talking about this with Mrs Reyes feels like a betrayal of Carlos, but he’s not seeing a way out of this anymore. If she’s half as stubborn as her son, she won’t leave until she has at least some answers, and there’s no way she’ll believe he knows nothing.

“Did things change when he was around seventeen, by any chance?” he asks eventually, guilt twisting in his gut. “Maybe just after he, um, came out?”

Her lips part in surprise, a small crease forming between her brows. “Yes. But, I don’t understand, are you implying this is because of that? All we care about is that he’s happy, not who he loves; Gabriel and I have always done our best to support Carlos.”

TK winces. “All due respect, Mrs Reyes, but I’m not so sure that’s true.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Look, this is really a conversation you should be having with Carlos, I’ve already said too much -”

“If you have something to say, TK, please, just say it.” The warmth has dropped from Mrs Reyes’s face and she seems to be holding herself tighter. TK’s heart sinks; he’s just ruined things with his boyfriend’s mother. Perfect.

He swallows, staring hard at the floor. “It’s just something that came up after we met you at the market,” he explains quietly. “Carlos...he wasn’t sure how you would react to - to us, so he did what he does best, and chose to protect us both.”

“Protect?” Mrs Reyes’s voice is horrified, and TK looks up to find her staring at him in open confusion. “From what?”

TK doesn’t respond, but his grimace must be enough to tell her all she needs to know. She gasps and lifts a hand to her mouth, eyes shining.

“We thought…” She breaks off, shaking her head. “How do we fix this?”

He sighs. “Mrs Reyes… I can’t speak for Carlos, nor can I claim to fully understand what he’s been through. I came out to my parents when I was fourteen, and they were vocal about their support, to say the least.” TK chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck, his teenage embarrassment returning for a brief moment. “I’m not saying that’s the way to go, god knows it was awkward and overwhelming for all of us, but maybe talking to him would be a start? Carlos knows you love him, ma’am, but it wouldn’t hurt to let him know that you love all of him, if you understand what I mean?”

Mrs Reyes nods, sniffing and wiping at her eyes. “Thank you, TK,” she says, sending him a barely-there smile. “You’ve given me a lot to think about.” She stands and TK hurries to follow, grabbing the door for her.

He’s equal part relieved and worried over her abrupt exit; much longer, and TK thinks he might have lost it, but he can’t shake the feeling that he’s fucked up beyond repair. So, he’s surprised when she turns in the doorway and pulls him into a gentle hug.

“I’m glad Carlitos has you,” she smiled, patting his cheek. “And, it’s Andrea.”

With that, Mrs Reyes walks out, leaving TK staring after her, more than a little confused.

*

That night, TK watches Carlos move about their bedroom, his conversation with Andrea weighing on him as he twists the bedsheets in his hands. He knows he needs to talk to Carlos about it, but he has no idea where to start.

Carlos slides into bed beside him and TK instinctively leans his head on his shoulder. He’s just about worked up enough courage to say something, when Carlos interrupts, playing with TK’s fingers.

“My mom said she stopped by today.”

TK freezes, Carlos’s careful tone sending fear down his spine. He looks up slowly, biting his lip. “I was going to tell you, I swear. I just…couldn’t figure out how.” He pauses, waiting for some sort of reaction, but none is forthcoming. “Did she… Did she tell you what we talked about?”

Carlos hums. “Some of it. She wants me to go over tomorrow to talk about the rest of it.”

TK closes his eyes, slumping back against the headboard. “Shit, Carlos, I’m so sorry. I know I overstepped. I - I shouldn’t have said half of that stuff, I was way out of line -”

“TK.” Carlos’s voice is firm but gentle, cutting through TK’s panicked rambling. He looks over at him, some of his anxiety melting at the small smile on his boyfriend’s face. “You don’t have to apologise.”

“Don’t I?”

Carlos sighs. “Would I have preferred to have been there? Sure. But I’m not mad about anything you said. I know you didn’t really want to; my mom said she practically forced it out of you.”

TK huffs a laugh, but doesn’t try to deny it. “Still,” he says. “Is everything okay between you guys now?”

“We’re fine.” Carlos pulls him close, kissing his cheek. “Don’t worry.”

“Like I could ever stop,” he mutters, resting his head on Carlos’s chest and drawing his arms around him. Carlos moves as if to lie down, but TK stops him, another question burning in his mind. “Why didn’t you say anything about how worried you were to go back to work?”

Carlos tenses, silence dragging out for a brief moment. “I didn’t want to worry you,” he confesses eventually. “You had enough on your plate with the kidnapping and recovering, and I couldn’t add onto all of that. I was dealing with it.”

TK’s heart breaks at the words, tears pricking at his eyes. “Oh, Carlos,” he breathes. He twists to meet Carlos’s gaze, gripping his hands tight. “You know I love you, right?”

Carlos nods, frowning a little. “Of course. I love you, too.”

“Exactly,” TK continues. “This relationship is a two-way street, babe. I know you like caring for people, but you’ve got to let me care for you as well. You can come to me about anything, and I promise I’ll do my best to help you, just like you do for me. Please, let me in, Carlos.”

Carlos blinks, clearing his throat. “I… I’ll try,” he says eventually, ducking his head.

TK smiles. “That’s all I ask.”

[yusuke-of-valla]

Inspiration Investigation!: The Phantom Menace

[A/N]: Yet another fluffy fic based on a convo with @askmarietheapprentice​. 

Also on Ao3

The staff at the inn rush past Yukiko with barely a glance her direction. They’d been getting ready for weeks for an artist who’d taken the world by storm a couple of years ago. For the life of her, Yukiko can’t remember his name, though it probably won’t matter since she won’t have to talk to him. At the tender age of 12, her job is more to observe and start to learn to imitate her mother for when she inevitably takes over the inn.

A car pulls up and everyone moves into position, Yukiko standing next to her mother and watching an old man get out of the car. 

As soon as he steps through the doors, the staff take the old man's coat and for a brief moment, Yukiko can see tiny arms as one of them helps someone behind the old man.

"Madarame-san, welcome!" Yukiko's mother says.

"Thank you for having me." Madarame replies.

Yukiko tries to look around him and get a better look at the kid behind him, but they just scuttle further away.

Madarame laughs. "Don't mind Yusuke, he's a little shy." The old man gives a little push and a small boy with wide, gray eyes stumbles in front of him.

"H-hello. My name is Yusuke Kitagawa," the boy says, unsure of where to look.

Yukiko's mother smiles at him. "Hello, it's nice to meet you. Do you travel with Madarame often?"

Yusuke shakes his head. 

"Well then, I hope you enjoy your stay. Yukiko, can you entertain Yusuke-kun for a little while while the adults talk?"

Yukiko stares at the small boy, probably around 5 or 6, who seems to have settled on staring at his feet.

"Alright." Yukiko says, then offers him her hand. Yusuke looks between Madarame and Yukiko before Madarame gives him a nod and Yusuke takes her hand. 

She takes him around the corner and out of sight of the adults.

"So Yusuke-kun is it? What do you want to do?"

"I dunno." Yusuke mumbles, before quickly standing up straighter to look her in the eye. "Um, I mean, I'm happy with whatever you want to do, Amagi-san."

"Just Yukiko is fine," she says. “I can tell you about the history of the inn, or the town. Anything you want to know?” Yukiko asks.

"Actually... before I came here, one of the older pupils told me that old places like this are haunted,” Yusuke says. He leans forward and looks around, like he’s afraid someone will hear him. “Do you know anything about ghosts?"

Yukiko can’t help it, and starts laughing. 

Yusuke’s shoulders immediately slump and he looks down at the floor. “I’m sorry it’s childish, I know.”

“No! No no no, it’s not that.” Yukiko catches her breath and wipes a tear from her eye. “I’m sorry, I just wasn’t expecting anyone else to be interested in ghosts.”

“So, you do know about ghosts?” Yusuke asks.

Yukiko grins. “I’m practically an expert.“I know all the scary stories about any place in Inaba, and I can tell you about any sort of ghost-"

"Mean ones!" Yusuke shouts, before catching himself and speaking more softly. “I mean, I want to know about how to get rid of a mean ghost that’s scaring away my senpai.”

“Have you seen this mean ghost?”

Yusuke pouts. “No, I think it only comes out after my bedtime. But I can hear weird noises at night sometimes. And when I get up in the morning, paintings will be knocked over or destroyed or missing. And pupils keep leaving all of a sudden for no reason! Sensei keeps telling me not to worry about it and the other pupils won't say anything but I know something's going on."

"Hmm... strange noises and things being destroyed." Yukiko hums. "Sounds like what you need is something to ward it off."

"How do I do that?"

“I think I saw something about it in a book at the store,” Yukiko says, “but mother says I’m too young for that kind of stuff.”

“So what do we do?”

“We have to go find that book!”

Yusuke frowns. “But your mother said not to.”

“Well she doesn’t have to know that’s what we’re doing. We can bring some paper and you can copy whatever you need from the book!”

“Should I tell Sensei what we’re doing?”

“No.”

“But-”

“If you tell him, he’ll tell my mom. Do not tell him.”

“What about when we get back?”

“Do not tell him. Ever. It’s our secret.”

Yusuke tilts his head to the side, before giving a resolute nod. “Alright.”

“Good,” Yukiko says. “To the bookstore!”

They get their coats from the coatroom, and Yukiko pokes her head into the room where her mother and Madarame are talking. 

“I’m taking Yusuke-kun to the shrine,” she says.

“Is that alright?” Madarame asks.

“Oh they’ll be fine. Yukiko is very responsible,” Yukiko’s mother assures him.

“Very well. Yusuke, be good.”

“Yes, Sensei,” Yusuke says. “I’ll make a picture of it for you!”

Madarame nods. “I look forward to it.”

The adults go back to talking, and Yukiko and Yusuke set off towards the shopping district. It’s a chilly January afternoon, fat snowflakes falling all around them. Yusuke has a large sketchbook and some pencils he brought tucked under his arm and holds onto Yukiko’s hand tightly. 

They arrive in the shopping district no worse for wear, which gives them a little time to browse. Yusuke immediately wanders off to look at the fabrics on display at Tatsumi Textiles, and Yukiko feels a wet nose brush up against her leg.

“Muku!” Yukiko coos, leaning down to pet Chie’s dog, “you’ve gotten big, haven’t you?” Chie runs up to them.

“Muku, please don’t run off like that,” she says between breaths, “and hey Yukiko!”

“Hi Chie, out for a run?”

“Yeah, but I lost my grip on Muku’s leash and he ran off on me, like a bad dog .” Chie looks down and glares at Muku, and he looks up at her and tilts his head. “Aw, don’t gimme that face,” Chie sighs. She kneels down to give Muku a good scratch, “I can’t stay mad at you.”

“You’re a good boy, aren’t you Muku?” Yukiko asks, kneeling down to pet him too.

“Yukiko?” Yusuke says, coming over from the display.

“Ah, Yusuke! This is my friend Chie, and her dog, Muku. Chie, this is Yusuke, he’s staying at the inn with his teacher and I’m taking him shopping.”

“Hello.” Yusuke says.

“Hiya!”

“...May I pet your dog?”

“Of course! Muku loves the attention.”

Yusuke carefully reaches out to pet Muku, his eye lighting up when he feels his fur. “He’s so soft!”

“So, where are you from, Yusuke-kun?” Chie asks.

“Tokyo.”

“Whoa! So you ride in the big underground trains and stuff?”

“Sometimes. Usually only if I’m going out with one of the other pupils. Sensei doesn’t like the trains so he has a driver take him places in the car.”

“Whoa, you live in the city and have a personal driver? That’s fancy.”

Yusuke stops petting Muku and frowns. “It’s not that fancy.”

“Compared to here it is,” Chie says, before checking her watch. “Gah, I gotta go. See you at school Yukiko!”

“See you!”

Chie and Muku run off, leaving Yusuke and Yukiko to walk to the Yomenaido Bookstore. The book Yukiko saw is exactly where she remembers. She pulls the thick black tome off it’s shelf and lays it on the floor so Yusuke can see. Flipping through the pages, she finds the two page spread with a circular design on it.

“Ok, so according to this, you’re supposed to make a whole bunch of these and put them up to summon the ghost. Then you can leave out an offering to appease it so it won’t lash out in the real world.”

Yusuke pulls out his sketchbook and dutifully starts copying the pattern in the book. His face is scrunched up in concentration, constantly looking back and forth to make sure the pattern is right. Eventually, he gives a satisfied nod and closes the book. “Thank you, Yukiko.”

Yukiko smiles. “No problem, I’m happy to help.” She closes up the book and puts it back on the shelf before standing up. “Now, we just have to stop by the shrine, and then it’s back to the inn.”

“Right!”

At the shrine, Yusuke once again opens his sketchbook and focuses on making his sketch of the place look nice. Yukiko watches respectfully, but when Yusuke nods to himself that he’s finished, she tosses a snowball at his chest.

Yusuke stumbles backwards, surprised, and Yukiko bursts out laughing.

“No fair, I wasn’t ready!” Yusuke says.

“It’s not a sneak attack if you’re-” a snowball hits Yukiko in the face. Yukiko starts laughing harder and Yusuke scurries off behind a snow mound.

Their glorious battle for wintery dominance goes on for hours (though really not more than 15 minutes) and they walk back to the inn laughing with snow in their hair.

~

Before leaving the next day, Yusuke gives Yukiko a hug goodbye before climbing into the car for the drive back home. 

“So, did you have fun Yusuke?” Madarame asks.

Yusuke nods. “Yes! Can we come back? I want to play with Yukiko again.”

Madarame laughs and ruffles Yusuke’s hair. “Maybe one day.”

[defeatedbyamerechild]

Cyrus woke up. His pupils were dilated, his eyes open wide, his heart was beating much faster than normal and his muscles were tense. The whole room was dark and silent. Without even thinking, he clenched his fists, holding tight to the sheets. He felt the bitter feeling of anxiety taking over his body as he started to breathe more and more quickly, feeling the beads of sweat rolling down his face and chills running down his spine.

He tried to look around, but felt paralyzed. It was getting hard to breathe. He closed his eyes and tried to remember the step-by-step his therapist had taught him, but focusing on that seemed very difficult at the moment. The only thing he could remember clearly was that he had to slow down his breathing...

He closed his eyes and started breathing in slowly, counting the seconds in order to control the movement of his diaphragm. He remembered now. He was supposed to focus on reality... describe his surroundings. But it was too dark to see properly... Very dark and very silent... How could he describe the world if he couldn't see it? Was it all even real?

That one recurring question, that always came to his mind in moments of difficulty, was the most terrifying part of it all. Was it real? Was the room real? Was his bed real? Was he actually there? His housemates, were they actual people? Had all that time really passed and had all the things he lived really happened or had it all been just a lie, a delusion, a hallucination? Had he ever really left the Distortion World...? And was it there, staring at him with its bright red eyes...?

No, he shouldn't focus on those thoughts. Focusing on objective aspects of the real world was vital at that moment. No speculation would be beneficial under those circumstances, what he had to do was simple, practical and clear observation of the material world. The real world. It was there, it was real, he could see it and sense it...

Not that he hadn't felt and seen things before that he later realized were not real... Back in there, in the Distortion World... Under the effect of Giratina's mind tricks... The boundaries between reality and delirium were unclear.

Still, he had left that place. He had to believe he had really left that place... because if not... No. No “ifs”. It was not time for “ifs”. Keep it simple. Practical. Cold. Objective. He had always been like that, practical and objective, so why was it so hard? It wouldn't be that hard if he could just calm down... He had to calm down.

He opened his eyes, now breathing much slower than before, and glanced around. The first thing he was able to make out in the darkness was his digital clock, or rather, the glowing green numbers on its screen. It was a quarter past three. He waited for a few seconds, still working on his breathing, until the number five turned into a six. Yes, time was passing. He felt his muscles relaxing slowly. His fingers finally let go of the sheets.

He glanced around. He could see his books, his computer and his mirror, reflecting the dim moonlight coming from his window. Mentally, he described them. Their colors, their positions, their shapes... the fear started to fade away as he slowly started to believe once again that the world around him was real. He had no proof, no indications whatsoever that his current reality was fake. Everything was in place... Everything was normal. Everything was fine.

Less than ten minutes later, he had already completely calmed down. He stretched his muscles and sat up on his bed, then sighed. It had been a while since the last time he had had a nightmare... He had almost forgotten how bad they were... Compared to his post-Distortion-World night terrors, his old childhood nightmares about his parents and bad school grades seemed like a joke. His nightmares back then were just bad dreams... the ones he had now were more like flashbacks. Terrifying, painful flashbacks...

But how could he have had a nightmare after all? Where was Ayumu? He cleared his throat and stood up. Clearly, Ayumu wasn't in the room with him... But that was strange, to say the least. Ayumu had been trained specifically not to do that, and up to that point he had never failed to fulfill his duty.

Cyrus left his room and walked through the hallway straight to the stairs. If Ayumu had left his room, then it had most likely gone downstairs, since all the other doors were closed on the second floor. There was light coming from the living room and Cyrus started to suspect that someone else was awake other than him.

His suspicions were soon proven to be right. Walking downstairs, he saw Archie, sitting on an armchair near the window, with Ayumu levitating next to him.

“Archie?” said Cyrus, in a mix of confusion and annoyance.

The other man turned his head at him. “Oh, hey there, Cyrus...” he said.

“What are you doing with Ayumu?” asked the Galactic Boss, approaching his housemate, but looking at his Pokémon.

“Oh... sorry, Cy” replied the Aqua Boss, “I borrowed Ayumu for a bit, hope you don't mind.”

“In fact, I very much do mind it.” Explained Cyrus, his intonation a bit more emphatic than his usual. “As far as I know, 'borrowing' implies on my knowledge and consent regarding your temporary possession of my belongings.”

Archie winced a little “Sheesh, Cyrus... Don't call the poor little fellow a 'belonging'... he's a Pokémon after all! A little living being like you or me...”

“I am aware of that, but he is currently under my care and therefore in my possession either way,” said the blue-haired man, “besides, Ayumu isn't only any useless Pokémon. He has a task to fulfill and you should not interrupt him on it.”

The other man hesitated a little before replying.

“Hey, wait a minute... No Pokémon is useless! Every little Pokémon has something to offer! Just like people! Everyone has something to give!”

Cyrus sighed heavily before continuing to speak.

“You are deviating from the topic. My point is: do not take Ayumu away in the middle of the night again. And please ask before taking anything from me.”

“Ay, captain!” Nodded Archie, not offended by the other man's complaints. “Sorry about that... Just didn't wanna wake you up, you see? You were sleeping so tight...That's why I didn't ask you before taking him.”

“Well, I would most likely have preferred to wake up with you than the way I did just now...” he said, looking away. “What are you doing awake at a time like this anyway?” he added, afraid that Archie might ask any questions.

Archie's face suddenly fell. “Oh well...” he said, “I'm worried about Maxie. He hasn't arrived yet...”

“From?”

“He went to a concert,” explained the Aqua Boss, “some tribute to an old guitarist who died or something like that... I was gonna go with him, but I was feeling sorta sick on my tummy... he ended up going with Tabitha...” For a few seconds, he remained in silence. “But he should have arrived by now.... and he doesn't answer his phone... I'm just so worried...”

“Hm” groaned Cyrus, unsure of what to say. The other man continued.

“That's why I took Ayumu, by the way! I thought since he's a psychic type, maybe he could help me calm down... I mean, I know several psychic types are capable of soothing people's nerves with their hypnotic abilities and so on...”

Cyrus squinted his eyes.

“Ayumu is a Munna, and Munnas are dream eaters... They are not interested in your mind unless you are sleeping,” he explained.

Archie chuckled, “oh well, Munnas do like a good sleepy noodle, that's true! But that doesn't mean they can't do other stuff! I've seen videos of Munnas that learned to eat away troubling thoughts from people's brains while they were awake!”

“Well,” replied the Galactic Boss, while gently placing his hand on Ayumu's head, “other Munnas may be able to calm people down while they are awake, but not Ayumu. He has been trained to eat my nightmares specifically, and nothing else.”

The other man seemed surprised. “Oh!” he exclaimed, “so you taught him which dreams he should eat? That's really neat!”

“No I didn't...” said Cyrus, “he was already trained when I received him... My psychologist has given him to me...” he made a brief pause, “I need him to be able to sleep properly...”

“Oooh” answered Archie, “so he's a service Pokémon! I didn't know that! Why didn't you tell anyone?”

Cyrus shrugged. “No one ever asked.”

“Heh!” chuckled Archie again, crossing his legs, “well, you know, boyo, people sometimes tell their friends things that they didn't ask about!”

“Yes, I've observed this phenomenon. It is very annoying” replied Cyrus.

“It's not annoying...” protested the other man, “that's how conversations go!”

“Precisely.” Cyrus frowned a little, “conversations are annoying. I very much prefer writing.”

The brown-haired man thought for a few seconds before replying.

“Well I've seen you giving huge speeches before... You can talk quite a lot for someone who doesn't like convos,” he said, then became silent once again. “You know, I think you're more fond of monologues... you can talk and talk without being interrupted and tell everyone what you think without other people disagreeing! That's why you like writing! 'Cause there's no one there to reply to you!” he concluded.

Cyrus widened his eyes.

“I...!” he said, but then huffed and looked away.

“What?”

“Nothing...” replied the blue-haired man, “I was about to protest, but I suppose you're right.”

Archie giggled.

“Well, I like conversations, you know? It's nice listening to people.”

“I could not disagree more,” answered Cyrus.

“Well, we're talking right now, is it that bad?”

Cyrus hesitated before replying. As much as he wanted to say “yes”, the fact is that it wasn't really that bad after all.

“It's not particularly annoying, but it is a waste of my time and yours,” he said, “which reminds me of the fact that It's past three and a half and I should be in bed right now.” he made a brief pause. “I'm going back to sleep. You should too.”

“Nah... I can't sleep...” answered Archie, once again becoming sad, “not without Maxie. You need your Munna to sleep and I need my husband.”

Cyrus raised an eyebrow.

“Didn't know Maxie was a dream eater...” he said, and Archie immediately looked up at him.

“Ha! I knew you had a good sense of humor deep inside, Cyrus!”

“That was not humor,” replied the other man, glancing away for a second.

“No?” asked Archie, frowning confused, “what was it then?”

Cyrus looked down, silent. He thought for almost a whole minute.

“Sophism,” he finally said and, upon realizing his housemate didn't seem to be familiar with the word, he developed, “a conclusion that seems to be correct according to the information given, but that is resultant from a false correlation between its elements and, therefore, is incorrect.”

Archie didn't seem to understand the whole explanation, but nodded anyway.

“OK... So, why did you use this sophism thingy right now?”

Once again, Cyrus was caught off guard. He stared at Archie for a short moment.

“I... don't know...” he confessed, “I just see people employing sophism in conversations all the time, so I guess I just... copied the behavior?” he started walking in small circles while he explained, “in fact, you had just used sophism yourself, when you compared my situation with Ayumu to your situation regarding Maxie... You created a false correlation, all I did was add the resultant incorrect conclusion. I mean, if I understood correctly, the reason why you cannot sleep without Maxie is because you're worried... this is a variable that is acting upon you right now, not a constant state. That, however, doesn't apply to me. I cannot sleep without Ayumu at any moment, regardless of what I am experiencing on that moment. Therefore, while your dependency on Maxie is situational, my dependency of Ayumu is invariable. It's not the same relation... Meaning your correlation was incorrect, despite the fact it seemed rational,” he concluded, then opened his arms, looking at Archie, and said “Sophism.”

Archie scratched his chin.

“Hm... you do know I was just joking, right, boyo?” he asked, and Cyrus blushed a little.

“So you mean to tell me that average people consider arriving at incorrect conclusions funny?” he asked, confused.

“Well, yeah,” replied the other man, “for example: peas are green... and melons are also green! Peas are round... and melons too! Peas come from plants and so do melons... that means melons are just very large peas!” he explained, then laughed a little and stared at Cyrus with a big smile on his face, but his housemate didn't show any reaction.

“Come on, it was funny,” added Archie.

“I'm not good with jokes...” explained the Galactic Boss, looking down.

“Meh... That's fine...” answered the Aqua Boss, “It was a pretty lame joke actually...”

There was a moment of silence. Archie kept staring at the window, fidgeting with his hands, while Cyrus remained still, not sure if it would be socially acceptable to just leave at that point.

The Aqua Boss sighed.

“Well...” said Cyrus. “Since Ayumu is unable to help you soothe your anxiety right now, I'm going to take him back with me...”

“Oh, yeah, sure!” said Archie, as if coming back to reality from a deep trance, “sorry again about taking him, I didn't know he was a therapy friend...” he thought for a few seconds, “you... you said he eats your bad dreams right? I hope you didn't have any sort of nightmare or anything because I took him...”

Cyrus looked away, slightly uncomfortable with that topic.

“Uhm. Yeah, to tell you the truth I did.”

“Oof... Sorry...” said Archie, “I really didn't want to cause that much trouble. Hope it wasn't a really bad nightmare.”

“It is always bad. That's part of the definition of a nightmare.” said the Galactic Boss, running out of patience.

“You wanna talk about it?” asked Archie.

Cyrus glanced at him.

“The only person who ever asked me that before was my therapist.”

“Well, I'm not a therapist, but I don't know... Talking can help sometimes!” answered the other man.

“There isn't much to talk about.” said Cyrus, “It was just a collection of vivid flashbacks from my most traumatic experiences, like always...”

“That... sounds like a lot to talk about actually, boyo.”

“Well, if I were to describe it and explain the whole thing, it would certainly take a while. But there is no point in talking about it. And I honestly would prefer not to...” he said, then made a short pause before continuing, “I've had a good share of discomfort by revisiting them in dreams already, I don't wanna repeat that by revisiting it via descriptions now.”

“I understand... You don't have to tell me if it makes you feel bad, Cy.” said Archie, in a way that reminded Cyrus of his therapist again. “I just wanted you to know that you can always talk to me if you feel like you need to open up to someone, alright?”

“Uhm... OK.” answered the other man, nodding and looking down. He didn't have lots of experience with that kind of talk. It sounded like something he should have heard from his parents when he was a child, but never did. No one had ever told him this kind of thing before. He didn't really know why, but that was comforting, and he started to feel like talking more. “Since you said this...” he added, timidly, “I suppose I'm going to share something else. I had a brief anxiety attack after waking up just now.”

“Oof...” said Archie, “I've never had one of those, but I know they are pretty awful.”

“Yes. But I was able to contain it,” added Cyrus, almost proudly, “my therapist has taught me some techniques to calm down.”

“That's great!” said Archie, “Proud of you, boyo! It's probably difficult to stop that from happening. Guess that's progress, eh?”

“I... guess...” said Cyrus. “Thanks.”

Archie looked down.

“I'm feeling sorta bad, though... You had that anxiety thingy because of me, right? Because I took Ayumu?”

“Yes, I guess that's not incorrect,” said Cyrus, “It was a consequence of my nightmare, which only occurred due to Ayumu's absence, so yes, it was an indirect consequence of your actions.”

“Darn...” replied Archie. “I'm sorry, Cy. I'm never gonna take Ayumu again! Promise!”

“That's good” said the blue-haired man.

“I wanted to soothe my anxiety and ended up making yours worse... Bad, Archie! Bad!” He said, then sighed again and looked at the window. He was still thinking about Maxie.

“If you have anxiety, then you should go see a psychologist too, you know?” said Cyrus.

“Oh, no, no, sorry!” explained the Aqua Boss, “I don't have anxiety, like... the disorder. I was talking about this feeling of uneasiness, you know? It's just something I'm feeling right now.”

“Oh” answered Cyrus, then scratched his head, “and... do you want to talk about it?” he asked, trying to be polite.

“Yeah, if you don't mind it...” said the other one, “I mean, I told you before, I'm worried about Maxie... You see, he is the most important person in my life! So, well... I know he must be OK, but I can't help thinking that something bad might have happened, you know? What if they had an accident? Or maybe they were mugged! Or maybe...” he put his hand over his mouth and shook his head, “Anything could have happened... And when I think about that... I think about how bad it would be If I ever lost him... I just...” he swallowed hard, “I don't know what I would do without him... I can't even think about it...”

“Hm...” said Cyrus, “Why do you think something bad happened to him, though?”

“Because it's almost four and he hasn't shown up! Or messaged me!” said Archie.

“What time should he have arrived?”

“He said 'something between two and three in the morning'...” he replied, then crossed his arms, “I mean, it hasn't been that long, he is not that late... but it's Maxie, he would have either messaged me or called if he knew he would be late...” Saying that, Archie puffed and fidgeted, clearly very nervous. He continued, “I'm just so worried... I mean, I love Maxie, but he's not an excellent driver... What if he crashed? Darn! I just hope he didn't crash the car... I hope he didn't... I hope he is not hurt!”

“uh...” began to say Cyrus, but soon noticed Archie wasn't done speaking yet.

“I should have gone with him!” continued the other man, “I shouldn't have stayed home just because of a sore tummy... I'm not even sick anymore! I could have gone with him... I should have! If I had gone with him, I could have avoided this...”

“This what?” asked Cyrus.

“This... This situation!” answered Archie.

“But you don't know what the situation is, therefore you don't know if you could have avoided it...” replied the Galactic Boss.

“Uh... Yeah...” said Arche, “I guess, but... What I meant is, if I were with him, if anything went wrong, I could at least try to protect him...”

“I don't believe being with him would have changed the outcome of the situation. Consider he had a car accident. You don't drive, so he would have been the one driving either way. Chances are, he would have had the accident anyway. Or if he got mugged... If a person was willing to mug him and Tabitha, the same person might as well have mugged him if he were with you. And resisting it would be worse, so it would have been the same.” explained Cyrus.

“Well... Yeah...” replied the Aqua Boss, “But I don't know, I would at least be with him... At least I would know what's going on...”

“Yes, that makes sense,” the blue-haired man crossed his arms, thoughtful, “your uneasiness right now results from the fact that you don't know what is going on with your husband... However, if you do not know what happened, that means trying to solve the problem now will be pointless.”

“Well, I'm not trying to solve it... I'm just... I'm just worried...”

“What for, though? I mean, very well, it will be very bad if something negative has happened to Maxie. However, you have no evidence of that whatsoever” said Cyrus, “while Maxie could have had a car accident or gotten hurt in any other way, he also could have gotten lost in a place with no phone signal, or the concert could have lasted much longer than it should have and it's still going on... or he could have stopped to eat something in a cheap restaurant and Tabitha got stuck in the toilet stall and they are trying to open the door, and that is occupying him so much that he forgot to call you. There is a nearly uncountable number of possibilities of things that could have happened, and you do not know which one has actually happened... Therefore, keeping your mind busy with trying to figure out something that, for all practical purposes, is impossible to find out right now... That is pointless.”

“Whoa...” said Archie, “Hold your Mudsdales, boyo... I think I got lost somewhere in your explanation.”

“I'm going to try to explain again, then,” said the other man, “my therapist told me to examine my thoughts regarding anxiety, panic and fear. One of the things I was taught is to analyze whether or not there is empirical evidence that can confirm the thoughts I am having. That is, is there anything I can actually observe that indicates something is wrong right now, or is everything coming from my own mind?”

“Well... Maxie is late... that is real, it's a fact” said Archie.

“It is. However, the only objective conclusion we can take from this I that, most probably, something unexpected happened to Maxie tonight. Still, we don't have how to verify whether or not this unexpected event has harmed Maxie in any way or not...”

“Hm.. Yeah, I mean... I don't know if he's hurt or not...”

“Exactly. You don't even know if he had a real problem or not,” said Cyrus, “and yet you already deduced you should have gone with him to avoid a hypothetical problem that may not even be real, and if real could not even be avoidable to begin with.”

Archie sighed, then smiled a little.

“Yeah... Maybe he's just fine... but what if he isn't?”

“Is there anything you can do if he isn't?” asked Cyrus, “Is there any way you might know if he isn't?”

“No...” said Archie, “and that... is scary...”

Cyrus opened his mouth a little, but said nothing. He looked down.

“I get that” he said, after a few seconds, “fear is... pretty much irrational. And sometimes the things our mind comes up with are really terrifying...”

Archie nodded.

“But we need to try to fight back rationally,” continued the other man, “because, well... if you just listen to all the horrible things your mind can make up, you will end up paralyzed with fear. The fact is that the possibilities are endless when you start to think about what could have been, or what could be... Sometimes I look around and I ask myself 'what if none of this is real and one day I just wake up in the Distortion World'... And that's very... well,” he looked away once again, ashamed, “scary...” he said. “But I can't live every day of my life in fear that at any moment I'll wake up in another reality. I have to be down to earth and rational and base my thoughts on what I can actually observe... On what is materially, objectively and undoubtedly real...”

“I didn't know you felt that way, boyo...” said Archie, “Don't worry, though. I'm here and I can guarantee to you that this house is real, no Distortion World here!”

“Hm... Thanks for this addition,” said Cyrus, “still, let's get back to your problem. The reason I said all this is because you have to be rational now and try to contain your anxiety. If there is no evidence that Maxie is hurt right now, and there is nothing you can do to verify that or to change that, so avoid thinking about that. It is better to hope for the best instead...”

“Heh...” chuckled Archie, “You're right, boyo... Not that it isn't difficult not to wonder what could have happened...”

“The fact is that so far, his absence can be explained by many different things. If he had been absent for, let's say... two days, or something... That would have narrowed the possible explanations. The longer he has been away, the less explanations you can think of, so you have more reasons to believe something bad has actually happened. But so far, it's still not that much time, as you said earlier...”

“True”, said the Aqua Boss, “maybe I should at least wait a bit longer...”

“I think that sounds reasonable.”

“Yeah...”

Once again, there was a brief moment of silence.

“Thanks for talking to me about this, Cy!” said Archie, smiling, “it really helped me. I'm still worried... But I feel a bit calmer.”

“You're welcome,” said Cyrus, “I didn't expect to be able to help, honestly.”

“Well, I told you everyone has something to give!” Archie smiled.

“Usually what I have to give is knowledge in physics, though”, answered the Galactic boss, and suddenly the other man started laughing.

“I like your jokes, Cyrus...” he said, still giggling.

“It was not a joke” replied the other man.

“It was still funny.”

“Well, I'm going back to my room and try to sleep the rest of the night,” said Cyrus.

“Okie! Have a good rest, Cy... I'll be here waiting for Max...”

Cyrus turned around and headed to the staircase, Ayumu following him right after. As soon as he started going up the stairs, he heard the front door opening.

“Maxie!” he heard Archie say, and looked back at the living room. The Magma Boss had just entered the house and the two men were hugging.

“Oh, Archie... I'm so sorry! My phone ran out of battery and Tabitha forgot his phone charging again!” said Maxie, “I couldn't warn you I'd get home late...”

Cyrus started going upstairs again, but still could hear the couple's conversation.

“I was so worried, baby...” said Archie... “what happened?”

“Well, The show was great, but they gave so many encores that when we left, the subways had already stopped running... So I had to take Tabitha to his house, and it's on the other side of the city so...”

The Galactic Boss entered his room, followed by his Munna. It was exactly 4 a.m.

“Well. I've got three hours of sleep left, Ayumu,” he said, “Could have saved nearly an hour if I hadn't stayed so long with Archie... But that's OK.”

Ayumu gently floated down and laid on Cyrus' bed. The blue-haired man sat down by the Pokémon's side, patted it on the back and then laid down on his bed next to it. He closed his eyes and soon fell asleep again. Ayumu snuggled up against his trainer and, within less than a minute, a thick magenta stream of mist started exhaling from the pink circle between his eyes.

—— (Scene by GabiWaffle)

[wavbleu]

Rodrick heffley: Keep quiet

tw: possession and degrading

~~~~~~~~~

"I cant believe she would do that to you!" you say with a short giggle, you look at Rodricks adorable face and my smile grew bigger knowing that the only time hes genuinely happy and laughing is around you. "I was so totally shocked when she bit me, my dick hurt for like the following week." He stroked his fingers through his semi-short hair and continued on his painful story on how he lost his virginity.

You and Rodrick have been talking for 2 and a half months now, you and him have an extreme connection despite the fact that you are totally opposite. You like to wear softer colored clothes and get good grades in school, and Rodrick well... doesn't. He doesn't give a shit what people think or say about him and just goes the way he wants to, Thats what you've always adored him, you were jealous of that.

Sometimes  you question how your friends with a guy as corrupted as him.

But when ever you converse the words just spill out of you, it actually feels like hes engaged and actually willing to hear more and learn about you. You've never experienced anything like that before. Speaking that most of your exes just used you for sex.

Whenever your around Rodrick, you feel like yourself. What ever you are scared to be in front of everyone else you show it to him and he strangely accepts it. Obviously, you would even consider him your best friend or 'pal' But lately ... the way he touches you isnt very 'pal-like' . Although it may seem like something small, he would massage your knee and work his way down your smooth thigh, stopping right before he reaches your inner thigh; slowly massaging that area and leaves you wanting more of him.

It could be when your hugging and he lowers his hands from your waist to your hips.. Stuff like that may not seem large but it speaks louder and clear that theres sexual tension in the air.

Rodrick finished up his tragic v card story and you both giggled, Rodrick then abruptly stopped laughing and his once loud laugh turned into a snarky smile. "What's with the smirk." you say smiling nervously not knowing what he will do.

"Are you a virgin?" He says, "Nah." You respond back to him. "Ive only had sex with 2 people though."

Yea you weren't a virgin (at all) but man when you had sex it was just beyond awful, terrible. Butterflies grew in your stomach as you watched him bite his cheek in amazement.

"Wow, Little miss Y/N getting freaky in the sheets." he teased, you droopily looked down at your swinging feet hanging off your bed and sighed before admitting, "Well it wasn't exactly good.. if fact it was absolutely dreadful." , "Well i wanna hear this to see if its just as bad as mines."

You adjusted yourself to lean against the white headboard, looking at Rodrick who was seated at the end of the bed. You wrapped your arms around your pillow and started reminiscing on how you lost your virginity at the ripe old age of 17.

"Well it was a party that was at some random guys house.. gee I dont even remember his name... I think it was like tony or something like that.","We were in this small group with other people in our grade, we were bored so we decided to play 7 minutes in heaven.." , "and it was my turn to spin the bottle, sadly."...

flashback

~~~~~

(skip if you dont like the extra length.)

You anxiously spun the bottle, hoping that it would stop on your crush, Luke Hannington.  The bottle spun and everyone watched in awe.

You felt your heart drop to your stomach as the bottle started to decelerate and fixate on a person.. tense but hopeful , you look up at the person the bottle focused on.

Luke.

You tried to hold back your sheer excitement and joyfulness, but it quickly came to a halt after seeing your crushes nonchalant, monotone, bored face. 'He was probably hoping for someone hotter' you think yourself pathetically.

Everyone sneakily snickered and whispered in each others ears after seeing his disappointed face and disgusted eyes.

You felt like bursting into tears after feeling the way you did. You felt hideous.

"So ill set the timer, the closet is on your left sweetie."  The host said, obviously trying to hold back her sneaky remarks until you get in the closet.

He quickly gets up and speed walks to the closet, you followed, fondling your fingers and biting the skin off your lip.

You got to the closet, atleast he was sweet enough to hold the door open for you.

You sat down on the carpeted floor, hassling all the jackets and coats off of you. Luke frantically searched for the light so we can actually see in this closet and took a seat after.

He closed the door and minutes later you heard it lock from the otherside, "Begin, lovebirds!"

The only thing that began was the pure awkwardness and his uncomfortable glances. "So um.." You tried to start a convo but failed at it miserably, nothing you were doing was working, he would always give this stupid uncomfy look or mess with his collar. You were milliseconds away from kicking the door down and leaving this stupid party.

"Im sorry." he said noticing your frustration, "I dont think your ugly or anything.", "Ive had sex before, but not with strangers."

Stranger. Neat.

Tension arosed in the closet after he asked out of no where, "Have you ever been fingered before?" ,"I think im a pro if i say so myself."

You nodded your head no, "Im a virgin..","Ive always wanted to though.." You tried to say seductively hoping to make him hard.  "Open your legs." He sternly demanded, you obeyed and did just that.

He pulled off your cotton panties and felt you up and down, then awkwardly slid a finger in. You gasp surprised, hoping he would've given more foreplay. "Um.." You moan as he fingered you in an accelerating pace , rubbing your left lip thinking it was your clit.

You felt second hand embarrassment for him, Luke Hannington doesn't know where the clitoris is?

You were drying out and getting turned off by his loud grunts and heavy breathing, actually thinking he was doing something. "Somebody lied to this man.." You said in your head. "No way do i actually have to fake an orgasm for this psychopath to stop."

You prepped yourself and tried replicate the girls off of pornhub, "Oh yes!" you moaned as you shook your legs frantically, a smile grew upon his face as he went faster. "Im gonna-" You dramatically puff your chest up faking an intense orgasm.

He stopped and swiped the sweat off of his forehead, "Good right?" , "Great, i bet you i wont  even be able walk straight!" You moan, you cheesily snapped your fingers and giving him finger guns to throw him off your awful acting.  The timers alarm rung, "Finally." You thought to yourself.

You stood up and walked out of the closet just fine.

You got back to the group who were snickering and giggling like a bunch of pre-schoolers.

~~~~

end of flashback

"Bad but not as bad as mines." He chuckled competitively, "Whatever." You threw a pillow at him. "Ive been cursed with the spell "awful sex." ever since that night." You dramatically say, "Is that so?" , "No guy has been capable of making you cum.. making you scream?" His voice lowered, looking into your eyes with a hot confused look.

"Yea pretty much." You sneakily adjust your skirt so he can see your soft thighs and a sliver of your panties. The room went silent as he looked you up and down, examining your body and its crevices , he licked his lips struggling to control the urge to squish and carress your thighs. He quickly looked down hoping you didnt notice how long he was staring at your body, so hungrily.

"Hey um.. y/n" He said scooting closer to you.

Your breath became heavy and palms began to sweat as you watched him scoot in closer.

"Have you been feeling it too?" his soft deep voice lowering into a erotic whispering tone. "F-feeling what?" You stumble trying to think straight, his eyes were fixated on your lips, he wanted them badly.

"You know.." "The tension?" He slowly rubs your thigh with his huge hands, maneuvering them up your skirt but stopping right before he hit, you know what. You hated that. You nod slowly to his question.

"You told me you never came before?" He questioned, "No.. never." You responded back. He put a stray hair behind your ear, then smoothly rubbed his thumb over your bottom lip.

"Can i be your first?"

You nod needily.

Biting your lip before going in for a deep passionate kiss. He wrapped his hand around your waist , scooting you up onto his lap. His hands adventured up your skirt again , grabbing your ass and slapping it. You gasp at the loud sound it made.

"My parents are home Rodrick!" You whisper yelled pulling away from the kiss.

Rodrick continued kissing your neck and ear, gripping your firm ass cheek, not giving a fuck about what anyone says. Like usual.

"Baby i truly don't give a shit, just keep it down." He sternly said.

"Mmm ok.." You moan and roll your head back as he made out with that sweet spot on your neck.

He roughly pinned you down and kissed you more this time exchanging tongue. He pulled away from the compelling kiss leaving a small train of spit

He pulled your panties off smoothly and stared at the sight to see. "Have you ever been fingered before?" He jokingly teased giving a little lightheart to this hot and spicy situation.

He trailed his hands up and down your wet pussy, looking for that spot.

When he finally got his hands on it you let out a small gaspy squeal, "Its right here?" You nod, breath getting faster.

"Yes daddy right there please~" You cry out, "Daddy?" He smirks, He slowly rubs his fingers around your clit. "Im your daddy now?" Rodrick bites his lip, "Then i guess your my little slut then."

"Are you my little slut?"  He asks you, he picks up his pace sending a small tingle down your spine, he giggled mischievously knowing that its gonna be hard for you to respond. You try to catch your breath but moans and shrieks keep cutting your words off.

"Are you my little.. slut?" He slipped in two fingers and fucked your tight hole and worked your g-spot, so much to a point where you had to grasp one of your plushies to keep from screaming. "Alright I guess ill have to make you say yes."

Your eyes roll back as you felt his mouth attach to your clit, swirling his tongue all around your sensitive clit. For the first time you actually wanted to cum..

"I think im gonna-" You bite into a pillow to cover the loud noise you were gonna let out.

Right before you were about to have an intense orgasm, he stopped. Edging you and all your senses. You whined like a little bitch.

"Shut the fuck up." He said unbuckling his pants, "Your gonna take this dick and your gonna like it, alright? alright." He said stroking his rock hard twitching dick before aggressively sliding in.

"My parents- ah-" , " I swear if you mention your parents one more time im gonna throat fuck you."  He said in a pissed off tone.

He threw your legs over his shoulders and slid a pillow under you.  Rodrick continued to fuck up into you, hitting that one spot again, and again, and again; and just to torture you, he rubbed your clit you were experiencing bliss, euphoria.

Rodrick swiftly took your legs off his shoulder and spread them wide open so he could get a deeper fuck, "stupid slut your legs are trembling." , "You really like me fucking you hard, hitting that spot just perfectly even when your parents are just sitting in their room ; feet away? " ,"Now when i ask this again, i want a response."

"are you my little slut?" He whispered into your ears, you moaned loudly and threw your head back, "Yes!", "Yes daddy, im your slut." ," I want your parents to fucking hear." He looked you deep in the eyes waiting for your response.

"Yes daddy im your slut.." You moaned loudly.

He grasped on your waist and pounded deep into you, the claps of your skin, the loud moans, at that point you forgot you even HAD parents.

He kept fucking into your tight cunt relentlessly, hitting every single spot perfectly. Humanly impossible.

"Cum whore i know you wanna." Rodrick says, you open your mouth but no moans come out.. that was it . You were actually gonna cum... Your legs began to shake and tumble ,  it felt like a large sneeze but in your stomach. "Im gonna-" You could barely get out.

You released yourself onto his cock, "Fucking hell." He said as he couldn't bare to last any longer. He pulled out of you and came onto your tired cunt.

"Damn baby." He groaned putting his softening dick away. "was it good?" He hopefully said, "It was amazing." You responded back excitedly.

That stupid curse is gone, yay!

Everything was good until you heard loud footsteps seconds away from your door.

~~~~~~~

Authors note:

This is a pretty long story but i actually enjoyed writing these ones, rodrick was my first story on this book (and my most popular) so you know i had to do the mf again🙄 pegging and femboy kink coming soon⚠️

[orderuponthe99prettygrimmdiaries]

Road to Recovery 👣

Well, this is gonna be a long ass one. Also, this has been kinda drafted over the past... week? So it’s gonna be a real rollercoaster of a ride. 

Had just binged Lucifer’s new season and was on reddit, looking at comments of redditors yelling at Luci to enjoy whilst he was finding stuff to freak out about. 

Like him, I should have just been in the moment. Appreciated it. Instead of worrying about the next. 

The past week has been.. emotional. Have been getting used to the fact that I might never speak or hear or see him again. Been also trying to focus on the bad to kinda ease the pain. At least it hurts a little less, less crying too. But it’s also like one day you do great, no crying, not much of missing and pain, but then the next, everything creeps in altogether and you fall apart. 

The thing is... why does it hurt so bad? Things had been weird for months. I mean, I was the one who was always preparing myself for him to leave, I was the one who told myself I’d be okay even if we never went on the date. And I guess it just boils back to... expectations. 

I expected him to care more, I didn’t expect that he’d be able to leave just like this. From regular convos to nothing in a week, now almost 2 weeks. I mean, we’ve had breaks. 1 day, 5 days, 10 days... It’s kinda strange if we were actually interested in the other. Maybe he wasn’t much of a texter and wanted to talk when we met. But did we really share much when we met? It’s odd... He doesn’t reply properly to texts, he disappears, he doesn’t really care much at times, but for some reason, I seem to remember the good more. It seemed like he does listen (at times), there were moments when I felt like he cared. A part of me still trusts him or sees the best in him. 

Initially, I was trying to avoid talking about him so I would also stop thinking about him and I could move on. But I think talking about it also helps. Did also google about moving on from crushes, and that is a major point. Maybe I’ll never figure out what really went wrong, but maybe I could still give myself some sorta closure.  Though reminiscing does hurt too. Going back to the place where we met, which is basically my workplace which I’ve to be at almost every day... The memories flooding in about the conversations we had. But it also helps me to acknowledge my feelings and fears, stuff that I suppose I didn’t acknowledge then. Maybe if I had been less afraid and tried harder, especially during the times we were both around considering how hard it was to get our schedules together. He probably thought I wasn’t that interested and moved on. Guys fall fast, but they seem to move on pretty quick too.

Ended up dreaming about him last night... It was really nice. There was a shipment, I didn’t let myself have hope that it would have been him. And he turned around, and it was him. I said hey and touched his arm. I headed off downstairs talking to the other guys, one of them was teasing me for giving him my number. He came down too. We sat there for a bit, and I asked if I could lean on his shoulder, and we ended up hugging too. That was just wonderful, but it’s sad to know it’d never be reality. 

And I guess all those breaks we had throughout the months still gives me the slightest bit of hope that he might return... But now, 2 whole weeks of not speaking. The glimmer of hope fades as each day passes. Maybe, distance is just what we need, I tell myself. 

But now, there’s also a new guy. So I’m guessing the likelihood of seeing him ever again is almost impossible. But is it really so bad if we never spoke or see each other again? Did he even really care? What were we? 

Feels like history is repeating itself, and honestly, after re-reading old posts, maybe it is. Okay, but this time was slightly different. I fought harder. I should be proud that I got his number, or well, convinced him to get mine. I should be proud for initiating those texts, for finally picking up that video call, for asking him out. 

I do wonder at times if it would have been better if I was just honest from the start, that I was interested and I felt there’s something special, different, but not entirely sure what it was. I had friends tell me that I shouldn’t be too emotional about too much, especially at the start. I mean, I did do this the last time, granted they were all online friends, and now we’re still friends. Maybe it’s different being online vs irl. 

Should I continue fighting for him or just let this be another regret/what if? I guess I chose the latter. I was still too afraid to make a move, I was still too afraid to admit my feelings. I wanted to tell him, I wanted to give him the choice. But I was afraid, what if he only says he feels the same because knowing what I felt? I couldn’t take the leap. 

And the more I thought, the less I knew. What did I ever really know about you? What did I like about you? I guess I didn’t listen to myself enough, or to the rational part at least. The closer you look, the less you see. By the time I remember this, it was a little too late... 

I guess I need to stop trying to define everything. Some questions don’t have answers. Some stories won’t get closures. Not all friendships require daily talking. Why aren’t I okay with this? Am I just too attached to everyone? Does my life just basically revolve around people? Who the fuck am I?

I had been looking back at my old posts, all the way back to 2015, the darkest period of my life. I wanted to see what I did then, how did I handle it and pushed myself through. How the heck did I move on? Sure, it took me like... at least 2 years of moping around, then finally actually properly reaching out to get the help I needed. A couple months of counselling, pushing the focus back on myself, on self love and self care.

And all this unravelled within a couple months.

Granted, I think it was already starting to unravel early this year. All these work and personnel changes really fucked things up, with Covid just adding to it. And then comes those unexpected feelings, not knowing how to deal with it, worrying about how I’m gonna fuck it up, and in turn, fucking it up. Also, not giving myself a break when I truly needed it. I was afraid that if I took a break from texting him (okay I wasn’t really obsessively staring at my phone and replying immediately either, but I could have taken a proper break), I might have ended up losing him, and now, I’ve lost myself, I’ve lost him. 

So yep, losing myself... this time, I don’t think I was able to keep it as contained as I did previously. Loss of appetite, exhaustion... I guess at least I don’t exactly sigh as much as I did during the start of the year? But I guess now with Covid and mom at home, she’s noticed the symptoms too. And I guess how I tend to stay cooped in my room, retreat back after meals etc, not really making as much convos with my parents too... Maybe even agitation or irritation as my mom noticed too... 

She thinks it’s more physical, with my abnormal periods and stuff, like maybe I’m anaemic. Oof, and that one day she asked if I was alright because I didn’t seem happy. I literally broke down when I went back to my room. I try so hard to mask it all because I don’t want people to worry, and I want people to still be able to count on me when they need to. Though I’m pretty sure my colleagues noticed too. So I push myself. Sometimes I guess I pretend to be alright, cope with humour as my defence mechanism (self preservation through dissociation, amirite?), but then it comes crashing down the next day or next minute. 

I’m just human. I need to allow myself to feel. I need to embrace that I feel a lot, sometimes a little too much. I shouldn’t hate myself for caring too much, for feeling too much. I need to remember to allow myself to rest, or else this burnt out and exhaustion won’t do me or anyone any good. Yes, I want to be there for others, but sometimes you need to save yourself first. 

I’ve got one life to live, so I gotta live it. Right now it feels like I’m just surviving, otherwise basically floating through time and space. But it’s time to really live. it’s time to stop trying to keep everything under control. Sometimes a mistake is a destiny and sometimes we mess things up for the better. Stop comparing your progress and path to others. 

Recovery isn’t a straight line. You’re gonna feel good and then bad. You’re gonna feel like a bad-ass bitch who needs no one, but then the next you might be crying from the pain of missing him. Sometimes it will just get worse before it gets better. Real growth isn’t linear, it’s a step forward and 20 steps back. You’re gonna be tempted to text him, to hear his voice, to try one more time, but then you also gotta remember all the progress you’ve made. People are hard to forget and change takes time. 

Like Chandler and Joey were nudging Ross to move on from Rachel back in Season 1, maybe your friends had nudged you to move on too. My friends have been. Maybe our happiness just aren’t meant to be with each other. But I would love for you to be happy, even if it’s without me. 

So, I guess imma do a separate post about all the lessons I’ve re-learnt. It was a real headache trying to write this piece already. Thanks to anyone who’s actually taken the time to read this. Take care everyone! 

X

[amillionmillionvoices]

Do you have any techniques you find incredibly useful in creating good characterization?

Ooh excellent question! I’d say the two things I pay the most attention to for characterization are dialogue and motivation. 

Dialogue can be really tough, because I think the gut instinct in writing is to make the characters speak the way “normal people” talk in every day life. But in writing, that’s rarely the right way to go, because people are borrinnnnnggg lol. People also use a TON of filters, everything from “ums” to circular conversation, and that can be really distracting or uninteresting in a story/fic. (Take a show like The West Wing, or even something like Schitt’s Creek, for example. The dialogue is witty and clever, and that’s not to say people can’t be witty or clever but it’s not usually done in the same way or with the same precision and regularity. Like, I’m lucky if in a conversation I get ONE good one-liner off lol). But no one wants to listen to characters have this convo: 

“Hey, what’s up?” 

“Not much, how are you?” 

“Pretty good. How was your weekend?” 

“Eh, it was fine. Didn’t do anything.” 

“Me neither.” 

 Like don’t get me wrong, this is a perfectly great convo to have IRL! But on screen/in a fic/story, unless that conversation is pushing you somewhere, it’s just lead up to the ACTUAL conversation the characters want to have. 

People on TV usually get right to the point, but they also do that in unique ways. So another big thing I pay attention to is HOW people say things. What dialogue do they repeat, and in what circumstances do they repeat those words or phrases? What are their dialogue “quirks”? Are they short and terse? Long winded? Do they interrupt other people, or interrupt themselves? Do they give too much detail, or not enough? Are they reassuring in a crisis, or too distracted? etc. 

Eleven, for example, is prone to ridiculousness, long-winded and self-interrupted phrases, asides, as well as a kind of lyricism, or poetic interjections. Take this dialogue, from Night and the Doctor: 

River: Where are we going?

Eleven: Calderon Beta — boring planet of the chip shops — but there is a 400ft tree growing out of a cliff-top on the north side of a mountain in the middle of the sea. And if you take the lift to the top and look up, at exactly 12 minutes past midnight on the 21st of September, 2360, you can see more stars in one sky that at any other moment in the history of the universe. It's like daylight, only magic. You could read a book by it. 

So, we’ve got

- Asides: “boring, planet of the chip shops”  - Rambling/too much detail: “400ft tree, north side, middle of the sea, 12 minutes past, etc etc.”  - Poetics: ‘it’s like daylight, only magic’ - Ridiculous: ‘you could read a book by it.’ 

Thirteen, on the other hand, isn’t nearly as poetic. She’s more to the point, doesn’t give away a lot of herself, and isn’t quite as quick to try to comfort or reassure (12 is similar, at least in the beginning; he changes a bit with Bill). Thirteen tries, I think, but she’s also socially awkward in a different way than Eleven is, and that comes out in her dialogue - Eleven doesn’t know he’s awkward. Thirteen is very aware - so they behave differently and speak differently. 

Example: 

DOCTOR: This is where I leave you. NOOR: Answer me one question. The fascists, do they win? DOCTOR: Never. Not while there's people like you. (She touches Noor's temple.) DOCTOR: It's all right. I'm just removing me from your mind. (She catches Noor and lays her on the bed.) DOCTOR: Bonne chance.

(Skyfall, pt 2) 

VS

CLARA: Stop it. You're scaring her. DOCTOR: Good. She should be scared. She's sacrificing herself. She should know what that means. Do you know what it means, Merry? MERRY: A god chose me. DOCTOR: It's not a god. It'll feed on your soul, but that doesn't make it a god. It is a vampire, and you don't need to give yourself to it. Hey, do you mind if I tell you a story? One you might not have heard. All the elements in your body were forged many, many millions of years ago, in the heart of a far away star that exploded and died. That explosion scattered those elements across the desolations of deep space. After so, so many millions of years, these elements came together to form new stars and new planets. And on and on it went. The elements came together and burst apart, forming shoes and ships and sealing wax, and cabbages and kings. Until eventually, they came together to make you. You are unique in the universe. There is only one Merry Gejelh. And there will never be another. Getting rid of that existence isn't a sacrifice. It is a waste. MERRY: So, if I don't, then everyone else DOCTOR: Will be fine. MERRY: How? DOCTOR: There's always a way. MERRY: You promise? DOCTOR: Cross my hearts.

(Rings of Akhatan) 

So I mean, obviously there are things to consider, like the point in the episode the dialogue occurs in, what else is happening/still needs to happen plot wise, etc. but these two reassurances are INCREDIBLY different. Yes, one is said to a child, but both of these people are ostensibly asking, “Does good prevail? Does my sacrifice matter?” And these are the two totally different responses they get. 

I can talk about dialogue forever but I’m gonna move on now to the other thing, which is motivation. Why are they doing what they’re doing? Why are they saying what they’re saying? It’s not always obvious. 

Again, with the Doctor, 9/10 the motivation on the surface is PROTECT EVERYONE. But why?? Guilt? Compassion? God-complex? Fear? Self-righteousness? Usually it’s a combination of both selfish and altruistic traits that lead characters to do things (at least the “good guys”) so knowing why they’re doing the things they’re doing in the canon, as well as in the fic, I find to be really helpful.  

In fic, it’s figuring out what their motivation is in YOUR STORY! Which is the best part!! and the most frustrating part!!!! But also super important. 

So i’m just gonna use my own fic as an example: this is from my 13/river fic, just the dialogue: 

“Why me?”

“What?”

“You have plenty of friends, some more scrupulous than others. You obviously don’t want to be here, so why me?”

What makes you think I don’t want to be here?”

“You left me for dead. I assumed that meant your obligation had finally ended.”

“Obligation? You’re the only one I trust to get him out alive.”

“So it’s about him. Your new family.”

“River, please—“

“I don’t have time for this.”

“I’ve been there every time you’ve asked.”

“So this is quid pro quo?”

“No, it’s not—I just meant—"

“Because considering I gave up my life for you, multiple times, in fact, you have a lot of nerve asking me for anything.”

This particular fic is from 13′s POV, so we see some of her motivation in the narration - she’s terrified of losing River again, she’s confused about what’s going on, she wants to make things right, etc. But she’s also incredibly driven by FEAR in this scene. Fear that River really will walk out on her; fear that she deserves it; fear that she’s not going to say the right thing; fear that she WILL say the right thing, and things will change, etc. But mostly, she’s afraid that whatever she’s done this time is irreparable. That’s part of the reason why she doesn’t REALLY ask. She repeats River - “What makes you think I don’t want to be here”  “Obligation?” - rather than straight up asking, “Why are you angry?” She changes the subject back to Ryan - “you’re the only one I trust” and doesn’t quite manage to say what she WANTS to say. She tries guilting River, because she knows her well enough to think it’ll work. 

MEANWHILE, we don’t get River’s POV, but even still, she has to have motivations of her own in order for the dialogue to work. So for me, while I was writing this, I was thinking, “what does she want?” And she, of course, wants the Doctor to ASK HER. Wants her wife to straight up say, “What did I do, how do i fix it, I’m so glad you’re back, I love you” and those aren’t things she’s getting from 13, which leads to conflict in the scene. Whoo! 

But River is also at a point where she’s had 2 years post-Library where she’s been in a lot of pain, alone, thinking her spouse doesn’t love her, so she’s angrier than we usually get to see her on the show, which means that she’s in a situation where she can be a bit harsher than usual - BUT, that harshness doesn’t come from nowhere. (See, for example, AGMGTW or TATM). But I didn’t want to take it too far, you know? Because River still LOVES the Doctor very much, and doesn’t WANT to hurt her - she just wants to be loved in return, in a 

ALSO, I already knew at this point in writing it that River had a lot of baggage the reader didn’t know about yet, so that also has to factor into the dialogue and characterization. 

TLDR; I try to pay really close attention to the WAY characters speak as well as what they say AND I try to always know what they really want and how they plan to get it. 

[Edit:] I realized I forgot to clarify this, but for the record, dialects are NOT dialogue quirks. And I don’t mean quirk as I’m something strange, I mean something unique to a character (for example, my friend often answers a complaint with the line, teasingly, “Sounds like a personal problem.”) That’s a quirk in her dialogue. I DO NOT mean accents, regional dialects, communicating in a second language, or culturally based idioms.

[ ask me a question about fic or writing! ] 

[bitterxweetencounters]

~5 months later~

Ok I lied. I’m not going to talk about my Japan trip in this post. Instead I’m going to provide an update on what’s been going on in my life for the past 5 months since my last post. Lol. 

Okaaaay. So we ended up having a second wave. Hahah..aha..hah. A very intense and overwhelming one, at that. There was a day I believe when the number of new covid cases reached almost 800? It happened around mid this year. I remember it being a really devastating and disappointing period of everyone’s lives. It would seem like the number of new cases would only get worse everyday. I would be so put off from watching the news or reading about anything related to covid ‘cause it would only make me depressed. 

Today is a notable day to write this post ‘cause today’s the first day, since this second wave started, that VIC reached 0 new cases and 0 new deaths. 4 stages of lockdown (plus an extension) later, we're finally here! Everyone up until this day had been feeling it - despair, restlessness, anger, hopelessness - at this lockdown that seemed would never end. But today we got the news that VIC will be re-opening again (1st stage) this Wednesday (it’s a Monday today), then even more on Nov 8. The glimmer of hope we’ve been waiting for, for literally months now. 

Now for the non-covid related updates. Lol. 

It’s tempting sometimes to overgeneralise 2020 as “the year wasted”. “Nothing happened this year” (besides covid of course). But there have been a few new things I’ve experienced this year which I think would be worth noting. And a few thoughts I’ve been having lately that I really need to deposit somewhere before I forget them. 

Ever since I became single early this year, I’ve received some interesting dm’s via Instagram. One of the first ones was from this guy from Canada, who sent me one of my posts via my DM then proceeded to comment “cute haha *monkey covering it’s mouth emoji*”. I got this message while I was showering, at like 3am, so it was pretty unexpected. This was the beginning of a very strange friendship (?) thing. Long story short, and around a month later, I found out him to be a very strange guy. He was cute, seemed like a catch at first. BUT he gave off major player vibes and also, he was basically 4-5 years younger than me, and didn’t live up to the maturity he claimed to have (emotional maturity mainly). He would make it seem like he was after a relationship with me sometime in the future but also kept implying that he wasn’t necessarily after a relationship right now, and just wanted to “go with the flow”. He was always complimenting me, always wanted to FaceTime everyday, and would sweet talk me with things that were nice to hear. But I couldn’t shake off the feeling that he was bad news and wasn’t really serious about any of this (I even kept telling him I was thinking this). I should mention he was asking for a selfie and wanted to FaceTime from the very first conversation we had (after only exchanging a few messages). We didn’t even know each other yet?? Lmao. After a few weeks of talking to him I eventually caught him in a lie, and yeah. That was one of the biggest red flags. I had a weird feeling about him from the get go, but I guess I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt (and also what threw me off a lot is that he told me that he told his Mum about me - but I’ll never know if that was just a lie too). He also told me that he was going to visit here from Canada in August (it’s October now) and kept going on about how he wanted to spend a whole week out of the two weeks he was going to be here, with me, and how I’m so chill and fun to talk to that we would have so much fun spending time together. Lmaooo. He told me he’s dated a lot of older girls (I’m not sure if this is a fetish of his), but every time I asked him how many exes he’s had, it would always be a different number (which is hella sus ‘cause it seemed like he was lying then). He tried to do some weird sexual stuff as well which I never entertained and pretty much shut him down straight away whenever he tried. Not sure if he was just joking, but it was disturbing nonetheless. I won’t go into detail ‘cause this isn’t the place for it. It eventually got to a point where I was decided on the fact that I couldn’t take this guy seriously and didn’t want to waste both our time so I started replying less/later to his messages, basically friend-zoned him by calling him “man” and “dude”, and teased him about other girls saying that he had potential with them. I think he eventually got the hint ‘cause one day he just stopped texting me “good morning” everyday. Lol. But anyway, yeah that was more or less the main stuff about guy #1. 

Guy #2 was from London and it started with one of my girl friends messaging me and asking me if I was talking to someone at the moment. I said I wasn’t and she proceeded to tell me that one of her boyfriend’s friends found me really pretty and wanted to follow me on Instagram. She then sent me a few photos of him (screenshots from his IG account), asking if I would be interested (I felt like I was on a dating site for a moment lmao). While flattering, I remember thinking this was so bizarre. To be honest with you though the guy wasn’t my type (looks-wise). My friend said he was “a real sweetheart”. Even though he wasn’t my type, I gave it a chance and told her that I don’t mind him following me. We both agreed that the guy and I had nothing to lose, and if anything we’d just become international friends. Lol. So soon enough the guy follows me on IG and then starts a convo via DM. He introduces himself, seemed like a nice/decent guy. Very articulate, and well versed. He would comment on my stories here and there and try to get a conversation going, try to get to know me better and try to share things about himself. I think I recall him saying he thought I lived in Japan ‘cause I had a lot of posts from Japan. Lmao. It would get to the point though where he would write massive paragraphs, but the energy wasn’t called for, and didn’t feel mutual. I think I found it a bit overwhelming and felt like he wanted to take every opportunity to write an essay about his views on everything. There was a particular time I did an IG story post where I was venting about something, and he replied to it with like two long paragraphs worth of his thoughts, and then said he would be there for me even though we didn’t really know each other that well yet etc. Which was really sweet - yes. But also felt too early, premature. It almost felt like he was trying to forge an emotional connection too early on in a relationship which wasn’t even at the friends stage yet. We’d only been talking for like 2 weeks or so. I couldn’t help it, but I think my neutral and short replies gave off a hint, and he commented less and less on my stories. Till eventually he stopped altogether. Lol. Also I think I may have accidentally called him “man”....on purpose. I feel like a horrible person. There was a point early on though that I looked through his IG profile and tried to find things about him that I liked (I basically tried to convince myself that maybe the guy wasn't so bad). But I think that wasn’t successful. And yeah, it was hard to hide that fact for long I think. 

Guy #3 is this random guy that just followed me out of no where and liked a bunch of my photos on IG all at once. He then started commenting on my stories quite a lot. He would leave brief comical comments, and tried to get me to play animal crossing with him. Lol. He tried to start a convo one time but I didn’t reply to it for a few hours, and then found that he deleted it. Lol?? He would then like a few more of my IG pics. He was a bit strange. I wasn’t quite sure if he was trying to show that he was interested, or if he was just bored and wanted more friends. But yeah he doesn’t comment on my stories much anymore.  Now that I’ve gotten those out of the way, just thought I’d go on about my recent thoughts. So lately I’ve been feeling really stuck. I have a quarter-life crisis pretty much every day. I feel like I’ve plateaued, and I’m not really growing much right now. I feel like I need new experiences, new company. Most of the ones I have at the moment aren’t serving me well or helping me become a better person, if I’m honest. And I’m not happy. The company I have right now aren’t encouraging me to level up, or helping me expand my thoughts and horizons. I’ve noticed that a lot of the friends I was close to pre-covid have changed a lot, and so have I, so we’re not really offering much to each other. I’ve become so low energy lately that I find myself trying to avoid or escape dealing with people or situations that I feel aren’t worth my energy. Which I want to start doing more of from now on. I want to be more selective of the people I chose to surround myself with. I also want to find my community or a new community which I can be part of and grow from. Not sure how or where I will find that, but it’s something I’m keen on delving into more as time goes by. I want to be more myself, I want to change up my look, my fashion. I want to expand my knowledge, expand my vocabulary, expand the diversity of ways I talk/present myself or respond/reply to situations. I want to feel like I have something to offer - not only to my future partner, but to the friends I make in this lifetime. I feel like I’m too basic and uninteresting. I feel like I’m also too careful, too slow, too afraid to make mistakes. Too afraid to take risks. I want to stop “complaining about things, but doing nothing about them”. I want to be confident in myself, no matter what I feel that I am. If that makes sense. I want to speak more clearly, slower. I want to be able to speak Filipino fluently. I want to find the career that I love and work in it. I want to work with people that I can genuinely be friends with, not just colleagues or “fake friends”. I want to not care about what people will think about me, and just do me (especially on IG). I want to be unapologetically myself. But before that, I want that self to be the kind of self I aspire to be. Can you want to be different, but also want to just be yourself at the same time? Can someone confirm this? 

[nothoughtsjust-vibes]

I started Twilight for the thousandth time because I hate myself and this time I recorded most of my thoughts and, since I have no one irl, I have To shout them into the Void

1. Why is all the dialogue so cringey?

2. Why would she remember her favorite dessert at a rando diner when she hasn’t been there in several years?

3. The coloring is just so blue

4. Why does she look SO PALE?! Is it because K Stew was actually supes pale or because the director wanted her to look vampiric?

5. Why does Bella sound like she’s gonna cry when she implies that the guys at school are sexually harassing her? Could it be BECAUSE THEY WERE DOING THAT?!

6. “Things were getting a little strange”? Just because he wasn’t in school? Bitch, you met him once and he was an ass, any sane person would just forget it.

7. “You’re not in Phoenix anymore, Bells”. They don’t have animals in Phoenix?

8. Why is every guy so invested in Bella?

9. Their first convo in class is SO AWKWARD!!! Is that bad directing and writing or is it genius?

10. “Any cold wet thing, I don’t really...” fast forward two years she’s getting dicked down by vampire cock

11. Her telling Edward about her mom and Phil is so awkward. Like, he needs to ask her to explain things that she should know need explaining. “Why’d you move here?” “My mom remarried...” “So, you don’t like the guy?” “No, Phil’s fine....”

12. When there’s a vamp as attractive as Carlisle, why would she ever go for the son?

13. The big question is why would anyone go for Edward when Carlisle is RIGHT THERE!?

14. What I wouldn’t give for a book of Cullen origin stories: Jasper in the Civil War? Alice in the Salem Witch Trials? Rosalie getting epic revenge on her rapists? Carlisle’s everything!? YES PLEASE!!!!!

15. How Edward doesn’t realize breaking into someones room and watching someone when they’re sleeping is fucking creepy, I’ll never know

16. Rosalie shoulda knocked sense into Edward to not be a creeper

17. Bella is supes rude to Mike by just not paying attention when he’s taking to her

18. Jesus, Mike’s eyes are GORGEOUS. Don’t know how I didn’t see that before

19. I would want this guy as my science teacher

20. Has Edward ever talked to a girl outside his family? Like....ever?!

21. You don’t hit a bus door to get the driver to open it. Because of this movie, I did that one time and now I hate teenage me for that

22. WHY IS EVERYONE IN THESE MOVIES SO GODDAMN SKINNY!?!

23. Love that vampires don’t need to eat, but Emmett is eating in a cafeteria scene

24. “If you were smart, you’d stay away from me.” HOW BOUT YOU STAY AWAY FROM HERE DUDE!?! MAYBE STOP GOING INTO HER ROOM AND WATCHING HER SLEEP

25. KrimsonRogue said if you can use anything besides rape, don’t use rape. Maybe SMeyer should’ve heard similar advice and taken it

26. So Jacobs just not gonna introduce his friends?

27. “You caught that, huh?” They were a foot away from her and no one else was talking

28. I remember that in this beach scene, Bella was trying to seduce Jacob into talking. And she was like, 17 and he 15 which, even if not bad with age gap, still creepy. And she’s not good at it. And doesn’t need to do it.

29. Why she shrieking? It’s a goddamn rope he’s chasing her with

30. Why are the villain vamps so goddamn dramatic?

31. Why is Bella’s google searching so instantly effective?

32. Why does she go all the way to Portland to buy one book, flip to one page, take one word from one caption of one illustration, and then never touch the book again?

33. Bella is super not a good travel companion. Why didn’t she just drove her own self to Portland to go to the bookstore?

34. How she get so lost?

35. How did she not answer her cell while her friends were freaking out about where she was?

36. Why are her friends just leaving her with this very strange dude who never interacts with anyone?

37. That first line the waitress delivers to Edward feels like very bad acting.

38. It’s hilarious that corpse feet made her immediately think of Edward

39. How could she just barely graze Edwards fingers with hers and immediately have a shock reaction of “Your hands are so cold”

40. Okay, even with all this “evidence”, no normal person would be like, “Yup yup, he’s a vampire” and then have some dramatic confrontation in the forest during school

41. She just ditches her backpack in the forest. I assume she needs it

42. “Sometime you speak as if you’re from a different time” Bitch, when?

43. These are not normal conversations that happen in these movies

44. Bella is not normal. Dude she’s known for two days says he’s probs gonna kill her and she’s just like “Yeah, cool”

45. Why does he think his sparkle skin is a turn-off? I’d be like, “Hell, yeah, you never need to buy body glitter”

46. How she trust him after, like, two weeks and a couple conversations? I don’t trust people with my FEELINGS after two years, this bitch trusting an admitted murderer with her LIFE after two weeks

47. “I’m not afraid of you. Only afraid of losing you.” EXCUSE ME BITCH WHAT!?!? YOUVE KNOWN HIM TWO WEEKS

48. YOU CANT FALL IN LOVE THAT FAST!!!!!

49. Okay, but why’d Angela say “Oh my god” before Bella even got out of the car? All that she saw was the car drive up and Edward get out

50. Why were people staring? That’s not how high school works. People don’t REALLY give a shit who’s dating who unless they’re queer

51. I get the convo montage is to indicate they’re spending a lot of time together, but they’d have to remember the exact place they left off in the conversation or just have the same conversation over and over

52. Only living on tofu would not keep you strong

53. Okay, that cut of him jumping from the rock and cut to him jumping into the truck bed is very good

54. “Here comes the human”..... WHO SAID THIS LINE!?!? It sounded very happy, BUT THE ONLY TWO WOMEN IN THE ROOM WERE ESME AND ROSALIE AND ROSALIE WAS NOT HAPPY AT ALL AND ESME WASNT SPEAKING

55. If I were in Bella’s position, among other things I woulda done different, I woulda eaten the shit out of that Italian meal the Cullens prepares for me

56. The scene in Edwards bedroom is so goddamn awkward, but I feel like that works since she’s super awkward and he’s a 108 year old virgin who’s never spoken to a girl before her

57. Why she just turn his stereo on without permission?

58. I heard Claire de Lune is like, the most basic piece ever. Writers couldnta been more creative?

59. How is taking her on a tree climbing adventure making her dance?

60. “So, you and Cullen, huh? I don’t like it.” YOU KNOW WHAT MIKE!?! FUCK OFF!!! YOU HAVE NO GODDAMN SAY IN IT

61. What the hell was that twerking to the daughter of the chief while the chief was there?

62. So he’s been watching her sleep for the past couple months. She got there middle of the semester. So around March. A couple months would make it June. HOW LONG IS THIS SCHOOL YEAR!?!

63. Why Edward couldn’t have bounced with Bella before the villain group got there is beyond me.

64. THIS SCENE WHERE BELLA TALKS SHIT TO CHARLIE AND LEAVES THE HOUSE!!!! THIS IS THE PART I HATE THE MOST BECAUSE THERE ARE SO MANY GODDAMN WAYS SHE COULDVE LEFT HOME FOR A COUPLE DAYS!!!! “I’m gonna go stay at Jessica’s house for the weekend” “I’m gonna go to Angela’s house for the weekend” “I wanna take a weekend trip with Jessica” “I wanna go visit Mom for a couple days” LITERALLY ANYTHING EXCEPT THAT WOULDA WORKED THERE WAS NO GOOD REASON FOR HER TO HURT HIS FEELINGS LIKE THAT

65. If Rosalie could smell Bella across the field when there was no breeze, why can’t James smell her standing five feet from her?

66. Laurent really didn’t give them any helpful information. James is super dangerous? Yeah, Edward already got that. Victoria is dangerous? Yeah, that’s kinda common sense. Thanks for nothing, you French bastard

67. Man, why the tits did Bella not just tell Alice and Jasper about James supposedly having her mom hostage? Seems like she should trust the group of seven vamps to beat two

68. How did Alice see James going to the ballet studio but not James calling Bella?

69. “I don’t regret the fact that I’m gonna die because at least I got to meet Edward” is what she’s basically saying. As the great Ronald Weasley said, “She needs to sort out her priorities.”

70. The level of dependency Bella exhibits when Edward tells her she has to go to Jacksonville is truly terrifying.

[homespork-review]

Homespork Act 3: Insane Mindscrew Haymakers (Part 3)

FAILURE ARTIST: We cut to PM, WV, and AR in the far but not that far future. WV is trying to obey the letter’s direction to give the package to PM but AR keeps shooting. Yet WV and PM take cover behind a rock and WV is able to complete the task. The letter calls PM “Miss Mail Lady” so we now have a gender.

Back to Dream Jade. She flies to another golden tower and peers in on John sleeping. This bedroom is also defaced like his one in the waking world, plus there’s a creepy harlequin doll next to him. She isn’t sure if he got her present or if she even sent it, so she decides she’ll ask later.

CHEL: Dream John is fitfully asleep, but Jade intends to let him wake up on his own. Here, it’s established that Dream Jade does not know everything waking Jade does, as she decides she needs a system to remind her of things, which in the waking world she has (remember the COLORFUL REMINDERS).

The moon on which the city is now revealed to be placed is moving close to Skaia, the gargantuan sphere of cloudy blue sky mentioned by Nannasprite as the crucible of creation. Apparently it’s not safe to be outside during the “eclipse”, so Jade heads back to her tower.

FAILURE ARTIST: We cut to John alchemizing a bunch of stuff, some useful and some never to appear again. One of these things is a Cosbytop computer and that hasn’t aged well. John feels like it’s both his birthday and Christmas and though he thinks that’s impossible these pages came out a few days before Christmas. This fourth wall wink and nod comes up during another alchemizing frenzy.

CHEL: He contemplates a “1980s time-lapse montage” but instead we have to sit through him alchemising everything item by item.

GET ON WITH IT!: 12

Though he does come up with some useful stuff, including a rather snappy suit. By combining his glasses with the PDA he gets hands-free internet, and the sledgehammer, telescope, and Sassacre book together create the TELESCOPIC SASSACRUSHER, an extremely powerful weapon which unfortunately he can’t lift. Nannasprite’s ectoplasm and the gushers make healing candies, and ectoplasm, the fake arms, and the PDA solve the giant hammer problem by making REMOTE GHOST GAUNTLETS. One of the funnier items is a steam-iron-hammer he calls the WRINKLEFUCKER.

Dave, meanwhile, is STILL strifing with Bro, who apparently doesn’t notice or doesn’t care about the fact that the city is being flattened by meteors around them. Not doing a good job of showing “yes, this fight should be taken seriously”.

TIER: Neither does Dave for that matter, fucks given remains at a cool absolute zero on this roof.

GET ON WITH IT!: 13 HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING: 6

CHEL: At least it’s captioned FINAL ROUND now. Surrounded by watching crows, Dave hurls himself at Bro, and their collision results in the snapping of Dave’s sword, the bisection of Lil Cal (hooray!) and, somehow, the splitting of the picture of the record on Dave’s T-shirt; not cutting the cloth, turning the picture of a whole record into one of a broken record, which it will remain for the rest of its time in the story. Lots of analysis has been done by fans about how this represents Bro’s abuse shattering Dave’s true inner self, but in the context, it just looks like even sillier cartoon physics than we already had, if one even notices it (in the rush of visuals it’s easy to miss the first time round). It probably doesn’t help that Bro never actually says anything (nor do either of the other living adults), so we don’t really know what his thoughts on the matter are.

ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?: 12

Dave goes flying, rolling and skidding across the roof, landing in a rather battered-looking heap but with no serious harm done, and Bro chucks the game discs at him and… flies off on a hoverboard which I guess he has? Yet again, not adding to a serious tone here. Are hoverboards normal in this universe? Like the sylladexes, it was never established. Dave messages John, matter-of-factly telling him “bro just kicked my ass”. It’s still unclear how literal John thinks this ass-kicking is.

BRIGHT: This is apparently a universe in which some form of combat with one’s guardian is apparently routine, so John might well be thinking of Dave’s strifes with Bro as just a more intense version of a normal practice. On the other hand, by that same token, there’s nothing at this stage to say it isn’t just a more intense version of a normal practice. In fact, both John’s and Dave’s reactions suggest this is the case.

The problem really comes later on. If Dave’s situation is going to be taken seriously, then so should everyone else’s. Right now, although there are suggestions that all is not well, the tone of the text takes none of these situations seriously. It keeps everyone on a more even footing.

CHEL: Back on the golden moon, the eclipse is happening; during same, the moon and Jade’s tower thereupon, which are chained to the planet, swing right inside Skaia, surrounding it with clouds. On the surface of the clouds, we see images of events which happened earlier, including John’s house in the Medium, Rose’s house aflame, the tree in the desert, and the meteors falling on Dave’s city. This, we gather, is from where Jade obtains her mysterious information!

Dream Jade types messages to John, while the Dreambot types them out on a keyboard in the real world so he can actually get them. We proceed to see the same conversation about the package and SBurb we saw when Jade was first introduced, but this time I think a recap of it is actually pretty useful, especially the reference to the explosion. What happens is a little hard to parse, but as far as I can make out, a cloud shows a vision of a meteor emerging from a space portal, and the meteor actually emerges from the vision, becoming a cloud in the process. Said cloud-meteor then passes into a vision of Jade’s island when the volcano was still active and strikes down as the real meteor did in that time period. Jade, in her tower, hears it; I guess this is why it’s not safe to go outside during the eclipse?

In the volcano vision, we pull into a close-up shot of the lava-filled crater beneath the volcano, and a very familiar featureless canine head starts to emerge from it. Creepy.

Jade leaves the tower to check, and finds a vision of the lava with a blossom-like lit-up spirograph emerging from it, but when she tries to look, vision-Bec blocks her view of it, as the real Bec flies back and forth in front of the Dreambot. She messages John again, saying Bec doesn’t want her to go near the meteor crash site.

In John’s dream tower, the bed is empty; Dream John is now hovering outside it, eyes firmly shut. Jade sees him and drifts toward him, while John’s eyes slowly open. (This bit fuelled a fair amount of shipping at the time.) We see again the shaped clouds and the slowly approaching silhouette of Jade, revealing this to be the time when John fell asleep earlier, and at the exact same moment, real Jade and real John awake.

Again, we have a repeated conversation, this one being the one where Jade implores John to wake up. Now we know what she meant! Again, I think recapping this is reasonable, but maybe it could have been trimmed down so we just got the important points? That should have been done with all the repeat convos, really.

TIER: Personally speaking the little blurbs of repeated conversation shown during the flash would've gotten the point across without having to completely rehash the conversations.

With Jade awake properly, we get another convo rehash (now with proper context from both sides). Jade then consults her COLORFUL REMINDERS, as the visions of past and future events visible in the clouds as she sleeps can get very confusing very fast and the things help her put everything into usable info! With is fitting because dreams are trippy and easily forgotten. Jade notes two things: that this time there wasn't that much of future being shown, and that this is the first time that her dog guardian Bec has shown up a dream.

Bec has apparently never let Jade wander into the weird temple that is such a strange landmark of her island, but with the overpowered pooch taking a nap at the feet of his master's corpse, this is a good a time as any to try and pull one over him!

As Jade zip lines towards the temple and Rose continues construction on John's house, we cut back to Dave in the aftermath of the strife.

Dave is slightly saddened by poor Cal's “unfortunate” bisection (personally I was hollering because fuck that thing Jesus). His strife kind has also been turned into a ½ bladekind, courtesy of Bro fucking up his shit blade. Fucking rude man.

BRIGHT: Fighting with half a sword never seems to hinder Dave, but it still seems a silly thing to do when Bro quite possibly knew Dave was headed into heavy combat. It’s funny at the time though!

FAILURE ARTIST: When I first read Homestuck, I was sad Bro didn’t seem to care about Lil Cal, but with later revelations...would be better if that puppet never existed.

TIER: Dave attempts to grab the beta that he worked so hard for, but wouldn't ya know it his dang inventory is all filled up. Mostly with useless crap, as Dave admits as well. After a quick setup change for his modus, Dave finally has the beta! Congrats!!

CHEL: *looks pointedly at GET ON WITH IT count*

TIER: While Dave attempts to pester her, Rose has finished building up John's house, which marks the end of how much more she can help John as his server player. There's not much else to do for her till Dave shows up. She's also nearly done with John's gift, that'll show him that Rose is the God King of, and I am quoting right now “facetious sentimental gestures”. That's a peculiar and slightly worrying sentiment to have. What an adorably wordy yet cheeky little goth.

With that, we jump back a few months into the past, when it was Rose's 13th birthday. She's opening a package from John (signed under his old handle ghostyTrickster) containing the gift of knitting stuff (yarn and knitting needles) and a very dorky yet endearing letter from the blue boy. What a goof.

Rose is then pestered by one of the trollslum inhabitants, this one by the name of grimAuxiliatrix! They type Like This, And I Think It's Very Neat. Also quite verbose this one. Like personally I kinda need to carefully read and reread their words to get what the fuck they're trying to get to. In this case, it's politely bitching about humans while weird time related fuckery gets explicitly name dropped. Mainly the weird situation that is the trolls being/not being from the future. It's as confusing as it sounds.

CHEL: I think here’s the first indication that the trolls aren’t just other humans. Meanwhile, notice that one of the names in the Trollslum is “centaursTesticle”. Lovely. That character will, as the handle suggests, be the source of a LOT of CALL CPA PLEASE points. But anyway.

GA: No We Arent From "The Future" GA: But We Are All Already In Agreement That You Dont Get It And Never Will TT: I thought you said we spoke in the future. GA: We Did GA: Your Future GA: For Me It Was Only A Couple Minutes Ago TT: I understand. TT: You exist in some temporal stratum through which you have communication access to various points of my timeline. TT: It's not that complicated.

TIER: While that confusing thing keeps happening, we jump on over to a younger Dave, whole record shirt and dumb not-Kamina anime glasses wearing. He too is opening a birthday gift, which consists of his iconic aviators and a letter as well. The letter is just as endearing as the one John sent to Rose. Might just be my bias talking concerning how much John is undoubtedly and unchallenged my favorite character overall.

CHEL: I think so too, but I’m still giving him a point for him telling Dave his “gay butt stinks”, even though he is a twelve-year-old boy - it never gets called out or presented as bad that the kids say -ism-based insults until near the end, and that part has its own problems which we’ll get to then. The rest of it’s cute though.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 11

I’d like to bring up another webcomic which is known for its incredibly offensive humour; R. K. Milholland’s Something Positive. Specifically, I’d like to contrast the offensive humour of it with the offensive humour of Homestuck. In S*P, the point of the offensive humour is that the characters saying or doing the offensive thing are horrible people who should not be emulated, and even they disapprove strongly of homophobic/racist insults. Here is one of the tamer examples, from 2003 (so later comics have no excuse). Please note the character saying all this is both very drunk and very frustrated by having read a lot of terrible writing at the time, and his decision to do this comes back to bite him later.

In contrast, the point of Homestuck’s offensive jokes seems to be that either offensive things are inherently funny or the writer doesn’t realise why they’re offensive.

John tells Dave he thinks he needs to get out of his brother’s shadow, showing no concern for Dave’s actual wellbeing; more evidence that either they don’t know about the strifes or don’t care. The gift John has given is the glasses worn by Ben Stiller, which John suggests could replace Dave’s current anime shades. John worries that they’re “sort of a shitty present”, which again makes me wonder about the Egberts’ financial status - we weren’t able to find an actual figure for them but those things would cost thousands, so what the hell makes him call them “shitty”? How much did Hussie think movie memorabilia cost? Name of the count aside, we’re using it for when their economic statuses are weird in general, so here we go again:

WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 8

TIER: Dave too is dealing with a trollslum inhabitant, this one by the name of adiosToreador. It's around here that the trolls typing starts to get head tilt worthy. As Dave so eloquently puts it, toreador types like a tool. I mean, lOOK AT THIS, lOOK ME IN THE EYES, aND TELL ME THIS AIN'T RIDICULOUS.

CHEL: AT opens by telling Dave he’s awful, and Dave responds with frustration at having to deal with the trolls yet again. He complains that he’s “wasting good material on you guys” and that there’s no substance to their trolling; he also mentions one of them thinking he was a girl, which I think is the original source of the fandom’s popular female-to-male transgender Dave headcanon.

FAILURE ARTIST: I think it’s just that Dave is a popular character.

CHEL: I don’t know, it started well before the fandom started getting really enthusiastic about assigning identities to everyone, from what I saw, but maybe.

TIER: My two cents concerning this matter is that it's probably a combination of the two. Dave seems to resonate quite well with a great majority of the fans, so from what I've seen they more readily project onto him.

AT: i KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE, AT: oR WILL DO, aCTUALLY, AT: iT'S THE MOST AWFUL THING, tHE WORST YOU CAN EVER DO,

CHEL: The readers immediately start wondering what this thing is, but Dave is unconcerned, and immediately accuses AT of perving on him. Here is where the CALL CPA PLEASE count really starts to ramp up, because on one hand, yes it’s hilarious to watch the tables being turned, but on the other, this coming out of a boy who literally just turned thirteen that day is… uncomfortable for a lot of adult readers, especially since we know his home has obscene material lying around all over it and as mentioned before that can really mess up a kid, even if Bro was not in fact putting him in his movies directly.

TG: and i want to know exactly when i got to clear some space in my calendar for when some fuckwit blunders out of a magical phone booth and makes a ballad-inspiring play for my throbbing beef truncheon AT: sHOULD i BE PERTURBED BY THESE ALLUSIONS, TG: no man TG: look TG: i just need to know when to be there TG: when the stars come into alignment and your flux capacitor lets you finally sate your meteoric greed for crotch-dachshund TG: i wouldnt want to miss it and cause a paradox or something TG: itd suck if the universe blew up on account of you missing your window of opportunity to help yourself to a pubescent boy's naked spam porpoise AT: uHHH, AT: oK, THIS IS SORT OF STARTING TO UPSET ME, CALL CPA PLEASE: 5

TIER: How many words does a 13 year old need for his private parts? Asking for a friend. I get that Dave is a little gremlin but holy shit y'all.

CHEL: To quote Hiveswap, “SOUNDS LIKE SETUP TO ‘RIDDLE’ OR PERHAPS ‘JOKE’.” Or maybe a really weird rewrite of “Blowin’ in the Wind” and I just realised the (in)appropriateness of that song title. Anyway, I’m giving one CPA point for each of those elaborate descriptions. AT, perturbed, announces his intention to leave, but Dave continues.

TG: we're motherfuckin entrenched in this bitch TG: you and me TG: welcome to nam TG: now grab my hand and shimmy your soggy ass off that muddy bank before charlie gets the fuckin drop AT: uHHH, wHO, AT: wHO'S CHARLIE, TG: hes the guy whos gonna read our vows TG: im feeling pretty friggin MATRIMONIAL all a sudden TG: take a look down by your foot see that little bottle TG: stomp on that shit like its on fire TG: noisy ethnic dudes are flipping the fuck out and waving us around on chairs til someone gets hurt TG: im your 300 pound matronly freight-train TG: and my gaping furnace is hungry for coal so get goddamn shoveling AT: oH MY GOD, CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 14 WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 9

Hey, our first double point assignment! Two points for using the same racist joke again, as if it wasn’t offensive enough the first time. And another one for the fat joke.

FAILURE ARTIST: Lifting the newlyweds on chairs is a Jewish tradition so I guess Hussie’s antisemitism didn’t start this year.

CHEL: Isn’t stepping on a bottle a Jewish thing too? Does that count as more than one anti-Semitic joke or is it all part of the same one?

FAILURE ARTIST: Yeah, that’s also a thing. But I’d say it counts as one big joke.

CHEL: Does the Vietnam joke count as a separate one? I’m not sure what the general attitude to those is since about half of 20th-century British comedy revolves around WW2 jokes and no one minds those.

TG: thats what you see TG: a kaleidoscopic supernova of all your hopes and dreams all swishin together TG: radially effevescing arms of more little boy peckers than you can imagine TG: turning out insane corkscrew haymakers of a billion dancing vienna sausages strong CALL CPA PLEASE: 7

CHEL: All the counts aside, I can see what Hussie was going for and the general idea’s still amusing, culminating in one of the funniest bits in the comic when all this leads up to adiosToreador [AT] blocked turntechGodhead [TG] - I think we’ve all wanted to be Dave here. I’m fully aware that this sequence was meant to be somewhat uncomfortable, but given that Hussie later tries to tell us that Dave’s home life scarred him for real, yet he presented this as funny, it adds to the general feeling of Hussie berating the reader for laughing at the comedy. I think he was just trying to pander to the woke side of the fanbase with that, but we’ll get to it when we get there.

ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?: 13

FAILURE ARTIST: We go to AIMLESS RENEGADE, who has finally run out on his clip without hitting anyone. Apparently, some nitpicker on the forum (not me) pointed out the AR’s gun is magazine-fed, not clip-fed, but AR doesn’t give a shit about that.

CHEL: “A clip is not a magazine, a mag is not a clip; neither is a grip a stock, and "stock" does not mean grip.”

FAILURE ARTIST: AR examines the murals and declares the amphibian and reptilian images illegal pictography. AR arms themselves with a rocket launcher but wonders if they should befriend WV and PM - particularly PM. However, AR decides the two have committed too many crimes that make AR’s carapace steam. AR dresses as a judge (to complement WV as a mayor and PM as a mail carrier) and declares order in the court. AR wants to go down the moving platform to catch WV and PM but it isn’t operating right.

Closer to present time, Jade puts her gift to John on top of the monument. The gift disappears, just as Jade planned. Back in the future, PM looks at her drawing showing where she’s supposed to go. The drawing seems to be inaccurate until the tower is shot down. It turns out AR accidentally launched a rocket at it. AR tries again to hit the criminals but is distracted by PM’s beauty. Instead, AR shoots the mobile station. WV throws a can of Tab and PM grabs the package in a clever callback to SBaHJ’s sock ruse comic.

PM gets the package to the Appearifier and Sendifies it into Jade’s toddlerhood, back when Grandpa was alive and shooting butterflies. Inside the package is a letter from John, a too-big t-shirt with a blue ghost on it, and pumpkin seeds. So we have the root of Jade’s friendship with John and the others and her interest in gardening. That’s a very elaborate time loop.

CHEL: Get used to elaborate time loops. Anyway, the letter’s painfully adorable again. John thanks Jade for her years of friendship and for being the reason he met Rose and Dave. He gave Jade pumpkin seeds because future Jade had been upset that her pumpkins kept disappearing so he wanted to help her grow more. Unfortunately his declaration that three people is “almost like, TOO MUCH FRIENDSHIP” was cute at first glance, but given how he has no contact with anyone but them that we see, it becomes a tad creepy. Did he not expect to ever have any friends, or more than one friend? The implication that Dadbert kept him locked in his room all the time is looking more and more likely!

We cut to a cartoon sound effect, WHOP, and You bear the vicious brunt of this story transition directly in the face, “you” now being Archagent Jack Noir. The sound effect is the result of Dad Egbert punching Jack in the face. Jack pulls a switchblade, but Dad retaliates by lighting Jack’s hated jester hat on fire, throwing it to the ground, spraying shaving cream on it, and stomping on it. Jack immediately sets Dad free.

Jade is instructed by the prompt to “Play guitar to summon giant lily pads”, which she does, and it works… somehow? I’m not sure how that happens. Anyway, she uses the lily pads to hop over to the frog temple, finding in it a wall covered in tiny lime green glowing symbols.

Cut back to Dave, who has finally succeeded in installing the beta, and not a moment too soon as Rose’s room is now full of red light, soon to be aflame. Rose is calm enough to join Dave in a SBaHJ joke, and we go into the act-ending animation, [S] Enter.

Dave dramatically sips his fortunately-really-apple-juice and draws cartoons as the game loads, while Rose plays with Vodka Mutini and Jade scurries through the temple. For clarity’s sake, I’ll describe each character’s actions in a separate paragraph.

"Homestuck - [S] Enter [End of act 3]" (Watch on YouTube)

In Rose’s burning house Dave quickly deploys the necessary machinery. There’s so little safe room left to use that he has to throw Rose’s bed into the burning forest for one, put one in the observatory, and put the third on the nearby roof; fortunately Rose is able to get to them all. Dave uses the wizard statue to knock open the Cruxtruder, then drops it outside, breaking its hand off and sending the hand flying. He moves the cruxite to the lathe, where Rose produces a totem for her entry item, a bottle. Rose flings the dead Jaspers into the Kernelsprite and Dave grabs the Eldritch Princess doll to put in too, but the flying wizard statue hand knocks the entry item into the nearby waterfall. Rose leaps out over the drop, successfully catches it, and is in turn caught by a long purple tentacle....

Flaming whirlwinds approach the house; Rose swings the bottle to shatter it, and the meteor lands.

In the temple, we see an enormous flower atop another countdown device, noting four-and-a-half minutes till disaster, but Jade suddenly falls asleep again, waking up with only nineteen seconds to go. Unlike John randomly falling asleep mid-battle, this has been happening often enough to seem to be a legitimate problem with a story-based cause. Keep an eye on that.

Dave, meanwhile, is still in his room, which is now filled with crows. He seems flustered at first, but in a later shot he’s back at his computer with a crow perched on his head, seemingly fine.

Back at John’s house, Nannasprite opens up his newer copy of Sassacre’s book and starts to inscribe the very message we read earlier, so she didn’t in fact know about it during her life. Seems odd that she’d bother doing this rather than just saying it, though, especially since when she finishes, she drops the book into the chasm, where it plummets through grey clouds, emerging over a dark-blue land scattered with tiny lights and black rivers. John, covered in oil, runs up the many stairs of his remodelled house, smashing imps left and right with single blows from the WRINKLEFUCKER and directing the SASSACRUSHER with the GHOST GAUNTLETS to take on the ogres. When he reaches the top, he slams his hammer down one last time and bounces upwards to the spirograph portal, entering whatever’s on the other side. Fade to white.

Generally, a very good flash! Exciting but doesn’t sacrifice useful information for drama, and now two characters have reached their current goals but more is still going on. Lovely music too. I think the Flash animations are one of Hussie’s greater strengths here.

FAILURE ARTIST: The animation was what drew me into Homestuck and this is a particularly good one.

CHEL: A couple of static pages wrap up the Act; we pan out from John’s house to see it and the pinnacle it’s perched on are now looming above the same dark-blue land covered with thick clouds that the book fell onto, which we now see is in fact an entire very small planet. Curtains close.

So that’s the end of Act 3! What does everyone think?

FAILURE ARTIST: It was fun seeing Jade and the Exiles but sad thinking about how underutilized they ended up. Especially poor AR.

BRIGHT: This is where the elaborate time loops really started to kick in, and I’ve gotta say, I’m not a fan. I recognise that they’re a key feature of Homestuck, but I found some of them too confusing on my first read through. (Though they do make more sense on subsequent reads.)

I think on the whole this Act is quite well paced. I really loved the bits with Jade, and a lot of nifty background info gets introduced without being infodumped.

TIER: I wasn't even aware that webcomics on the internet were a thing at this point, but I do believe that it's around here that Homestuck's popularity was starting to pick up, no? This chapter went a lot deeper into the strangeness of the game to!

FAILURE ARTIST:

Homestuck was popular but I don’t think it became a phenomenon until Act 5 when the trolls were fully introduced. Lots of people even skipped Acts 1-4 and the Intermission to get to them. I think a lot of the pre-Act 5 fans were my age (20s) while after that many were teens or tweens. Admittedly, I didn’t do much in the fandom except check the SA thread until Act 5 came around.

CHEL: I don’t think I got into it until Act 6 - I remember the first time I got further than a few pages in I gave up when the Alpha kids got introduced because it was way too complicated.

As for my thoughts on the act, well… Before, I was able to more or less chalk up the racist/sexist/fatphobic/homophobic remarks as being from the characters’ mouths (they are, after all, twelve to thirteen years old) and not the author’s, but they don’t really get called out by the narrative and Hussie has sufficiently drained my goodwill that I have to complain, and I suspect after recent events that it actually was him speaking there, if you get my meaning. Most of the dialogue is still as sweet and funny as I remember it being but those bits really taint it. Hypothetical rewrite would definitely remove those.

I’m in two minds about keeping Dave’s hurricane of euphemisms to AT for said hypothetical rewrite; on one hand, considering his home situation, it’s worrying, but on the other the whole point of the joke is to make AT uncomfortable and it’s hard to do that without making comments that would also make the reader uncomfortable. Maybe if Dave’s home life was adjusted a bit the reader would be more easily able to assume he just picked them up from Urban Dictionary.

Speaking of Dave, his storyline here is where we really start to see a thing which is a recurring problem with the comic. Namely, reliance on theme and symbolism over what is actually happening. If Hussie was indeed trying from the beginning to portray Dave’s situation as serious abuse, then he shouldn’t have chosen to represent said abuse with ridiculous cartoon physics while literally portraying Dave as unharmed onscreen. Dave’s behaviour does hint at some issues, but they’re easy to pass off as related to other things, and swords so sharp they cause printed pictures to change are not most readers’ first assumption for the cause.

Other than those, though, I think we’re still mostly fine; none of the problems are problems with the underlying structure of the story, so it wouldn’t require a huge retooling. That state of affairs will continue on for another couple of acts, but when it fails, it fails.

COUNTS ALL THE LUCK: 0 ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?: 13 CALL CPA PLEASE: 7 CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 14 GET ON WITH IT!: 13 GORE GALORE: 0 HOW NOT TO WRITE A WEBCOMIC: 14 HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING: 6 IN HATE WITH MY CREATION: 0 RELATIONSHIP GOALS?: 1 SEND THEM TO THE SLAMMER: 0 SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS: 0 WHAT IS HAPPENING??: 2 WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 9 TOTAL: 79

[nightqueendany]

Original Final Season 7 - Episode 3: The Last of the Dragons

It’s Tuesday. You guys know what that means...

ON DRAGONSTONE

As in show canon 7x03, Jon Snow arrives on Dragonstone, finally meets with Daenerys Targaryen and immediately informs her and her allies about the Army of the Dead. Everyone is in shock, this is not where this meeting was supposed to go, they’re all a bit at a loss for what to do, the meeting is adjourned abruptly

Though it’s been brought up by both their councils (separately, in private), neither Jon nor Dany mention a marriage alliance in public to each other

When Davos questions him about it later, Jon tells him he wants to see whether Dany would be a worthy Queen first (though that’s not the entire truth), and Dany is too overwhelmed by Jon’s news of the Night King to make such a proposal just yet (and too attracted to Jon to make a well informed decision about something as serious as marriage, but she only tells this to Missandei ;)

Jon and Theon privately discuss Sansa, Jon tells Theon, “What you did for her is the only reason I’m not killing you”, Theon apologizes to Jon for betraying House Stark and tells him that he always wanted to be a Stark, always thought he had to choose between the two, this impossible choice - Greyjoy or Stark - but Sansa made him realize he never had to choose, he could be both

The conversation leaves Jon dazed and we know he’s taking Theon’s words and thinking about how he’s both Stark and Targaryen

Baelish immediately gets to work on Dragonstone, reuniting with Varys and Tyrion, trying to get as much info out of everyone as possible, he knows Jon and Howland talked privately at Greywater Watch but doesn’t know what about, Davos doesn’t know either

Baelish keeps on Jon’s case about his meeting with Howland but Jon deflects, saying they just discussed “his father”, Baelish switches tactics, brings up the potential marriage alliance with Daenerys again, Jon is still sorting through his feelings about being a Targaryen period and doesn’t want to talk about it, furthering Baelish’s suspicions, their relationship is a little reminiscent of Season 1 Ned/Baelish but Jon is much more aware than Ned was and much less trusting

IN KING’S LANDING

Cersei continues to enjoy the attention from Euron, he’s not honorable like Jaime and encourages her to do her worst to those who speak against her, starts to become the devil on her shoulder

Cersei is executing “enemies” left and right, anyone who’s been found by Qyburn’s little birds speaking against her, they’re brought to court, given a “trial”, and then are given some grisly punishment (reminiscent of Joffrey - “Which do you favor, your fingers or your tongue?”)

After watching an “enemy” die in a particularly gruesome fashion, Cersei excitedly, finally, takes Euron to bed because Jaime isn’t in the mood when she wants him

IN OLDTOWN

Sam and Gilly pour heavily into the books he stole from the Restricted Section, Sam comes across a book on the Children of the Forest, their worship of the weirwoods, their culture, the symbols they’ve left behind in certain areas and what they possibly mean

IN WINTERFELL

On Jon’s instructions, Sansa attempts to organize troops/supplies to be sent to the Wall to reinforce it but Bran advises her against it, telling her he doesn’t know why, but it doesn’t feel right, he’s still having tremendous difficulty controlling his visions

Sansa and Arya discuss being “home” and how it doesn’t really feel like home even with the three Stark kids all there together again, Sansa says she hasn’t felt at home since they first left Winterfell but Arya disagrees, says there was once when she felt at home after they had left, Sansa asks her when/where, Arya explains it wasn’t a place, but a person who came to feel like family, she asks Sansa if she ever had anyone like that in her life, Sansa thinks on it and replies yes, she had a person like that - neither of them says the names

As Jon had required it of everyone 12-60 to train daily to prepare for the fight against the dead, Sansa insists she train as well, is inspired by watching Arya and Brienne fight, and Arya begins to train Sansa, her first lesson: stick ‘em with the pointy end.

Arya and Bran reminisce and grow closer, he tries to explain to her what the 3ER is, etc. She asks him if he can see anything, he tells her he can if he focuses and knows where to look and asks if she wants him to try to find anything or anyone in particular, Arya hesitates

BACK ON DRAGONSTONE 

Dany is wary/cautious of Jon, discusses him with a small portion of her council - Theon, Tyrion, and Melisandre (the ones who know him best), when Theon and Tyrion leave, Melisandre mentions that both Jon and Dany are “magic” and that this is why she believes they’re both TPTWP, she tells Dany about how she brought Jon back to life, that that is what Davos meant when he said Jon “took a knife in the heart for his people”, this revelation obviously shakes Dany

Jon and Tyrion talk about the dragonglass, Tyrion mediates between him and Dany on this point, arranges another meeting between them

When Jon asks Dany about the dragonglass, she confronts him about Melisandre’s words, he reluctantly tells her it’s true that he died and came back, things are a little awkward, he asks her about when she hatched her dragons, she tells him the story, says that now they’re the last of their kind, as is she, “the last of the dragons” which, like his conversation with Theon, leaves Jon reeling as he’s continually confronted with the fact that he’s half-Targaryen

Varys and Melisandre watch Jon and Dany interact from a clifftop, they discuss how she “brought ice and fire together”, it’s “the Lord’s will,” Varys calls into question her “magic” and sacrifices, brings up the sorcerer who cut him, Mel echoes Kinvara’s words “If you are [Daenerys’] true servant, you have nothing to fear from me” which freaks Varys out

The title is in reference to Dany’s line to Jon about she and Viserion, Rhaegal, and Drogon being “The last of the dragons,” unknowingly also speaking it to the only other remaining “dragon” as Jon is a Targaryen and when she says this to him, Jon knows he is also a “last dragon.” (Also, this is my cheeky self stealing from Season 8′s “The Last of the Starks” because fuck you D&D. I mean, they stole it from themselves first anyway because S7 Dany says, “I am the last Targaryen, Jon Snow,” - the last Targaryen, the last of the Targaryens, the last of the Starks, the last of the dragons - meh, same thing, so really, I’m just stealing it back).

Episode 3 Inside the Episode: The Last of the Dragons

1) Sam and Gilly finding things in relation to the COTF:

This one is pretty obvious. We’ve been hearing about the COTF for seasons, Sam informing Stannis back in S5 that they used to hunt with dragonglass, etc. Even though they’re apparently all dead now, we still need to know more about their connection to the Army of the Dead.

And seriously, what the fuck else were Gilly and Sam supposed to find in those damn books Sam stole from the Restricted Section? This was made out to be such a big deal but even the “important” piece of information from show canon Season 7 - Jon’s parentage - wasn’t from the Restricted Section books, it was from the books Sam was tasked with transcribing as punishment for curing Jorah! 

So having Sam and Gilly actually find some useful information from those books just makes sense and is a payoff for so many scenes and a plot that was NEVER paid off in canon.

2) Melisandre’s convo with Dany about Jon being “magic”:

This was DEFINITELY hinted at in the S7 outline leaks! Dany and Jon’s “cliff” conversation in 7x05 originally was supposed to be them talking about how they’re both “magic”, Dany already knowing about Jon’s death. This was also the scene where he calls her “Dany” for the first time. In the context of show canon and the Aired Episode, this dialogue would have been clunky and awkward, but framed the way I’ve outlined above, would actually make it make sense.

3) Varys and Mel’s face off:

This has been hinted at since Season 6 with Varys’ confrontation with Kinvara. Varys is very anti-red priests and we were owed a showdown between him and them. The Red Priests and Varys should have had a much more involved conflict because of what material we got from prior seasons so Mel staying on Dragonstone to advise Daenerys (which is what she will be doing in this version of the story), finally delivers on something that has been set up for a while. 

4) Mel staying to advise Dany?

Yes, Mel is staying to advise Dany. Honestly, Mel’s story in show canon Seasons 7 and 8 is the biggest hint of a retcon because they kind of just threw her around and inserted her in places as if to let the audience know that they hadn’t forgotten about her, but she didn’t really have anything to do. 

Many of Mel’s lines from show canon also hint at a previous plot because so much of what she says and does just doesn’t make sense and is never paid off. “I’ve brought Ice and Fire together.” That was pointless. “Where will you go?” “Volantis.” That was pointless. “I have to die in this strange country.” That was pointless. 

All of these seem like really significant lines but nothing ever came of them. Like, what was the purpose of Mel going to Volantis? Just to hang out before the Long Night so she could come to Westeros to die after the dead were defeated?? Many of us thought she was going to come bringing the Fiery Hand with her but nope, nothing said about why she was there, we were just supposed to accept it. 

My guess is that D&D just liked some of Mel’s original dialogue so much “I’ve brought Ice and Fire together,” “I have to die in this strange country, just like you,” that they kept this all in their scripts but when they decided to go with the Mad!Dany storyline instead, Mel didn’t really serve a purpose there and so D&D could never pay off these lines that they set up. 

So Melisandre staying and advising Dany makes a lot of sense. She was at Jon’s side throughout Season 6, it follows that she would then want to be at Dany’s side through Season 7. So far as her relationship with Jon, well, they’re not in the North and Mel is a guest of Dany’s on Dragonstone, as is Jon, so he and Davos really can’t do much about it. 

5) Arya asking Bran about...:

I know this storyline I’m setting up will seem a little odd to some people. But bear with me! In show canon, Arya didn’t have much to do (and neither did Sansa) once Jon went to Dragonstone, so that’s how the Starkbowl of Winterfell came about - it just gave those two something to do to fill screen time. Which was incredibly obvious and really idiotic and way out of character for both Sansa and Arya. 

Here, in getting back home and Jon immediately leaving, this would leave Arya feeling lonely and isolated. She came home for Jon and then he just left. It would make sense that she would try to reconnect with her remaining siblings - hence her teaching Sansa to fight and trying to understand Bran’s 3ERness. 

In being away for so long, Arya really would have come to appreciate the meaning of family, and when she gets to Winterfell, she realizes there are people missing. It’s not enough. She wants more of that human connection back, that feeling of family. So she’s going to go looking for it, with Bran’s help.

Aaaaand that’s it for Episode 3. You guys can comment on these and tell me what you think, as questions etc. It’s allowed. Don’t be shy. (cough-please comment and tell me what you guys thing-cough).

Original Final Season 7: Preface Post

Season 7 Episode 1: Family, Duty, Honor

Season 7 Episode 2: Greywater Watch 

Season 7 Episode 3: The Last of the Dragons (Current episode)

Season 7 Episode 4: Dragonglass

Season 7 Episode 5: The Storm

Season 7 Episode 6: Summerhall 

Season 7 Episode 7: A City Fit For A King

Season 7 Episode 8: Protectors of the Realm

Season 7 Episode 9: The Battle For The Dawn

Season 7 Episode 10: ?

[pocminiseries]

3 A.M.

TASTE.

"LVNDVN-Moon Lit District."

•••••

"What?!" Kiana snapped suddenly. For the last several minutes she could feel Jasmine's eyes practically staring a hole into the side of her head.

"Who did this?" She asked, invading Kiana's personal space by leaning in to get a closer look at her neck. Jasmine poked at the reddened area while spotting the other hickeys that marked up her skin.

"Stop it." 

Kiana slapped her hands away and tried to focus back on continuing to highlight her notes for a test coming up. The girls sat inside the cafeteria waiting for their friends to show up, which Kiana didn't know it was a good thing or not, especially now. The last thing she wanted was to be questioned by everyone else.

She knew she should've used makeup to cover up her neck this morning.

Jasmine sat back, eyeing her suspiciously. "What's his name?" She questioned further, wanting Kiana to come clean already. "You haven't told me about meeting anyone new nor have I seen you with anyone, so spill the tea bitch."

Kiana rolled her eyes, finally closing her folder. "Why does it matter?"

"Because I haven't seen you in what? Three, four days? And when I do, you allowed someone to mark you up like you're their territory." She answered, pointing at her neck once more. "Plus you have never let someone do that before."

Kiana tried to move her hoodie over her neck a little more, the familiar feeling of shame washing over her face. She still couldn't believe she allowed them to do this to her. First Taehyung in the hot tub, then Ji-soo in the library and finally a few nights ago in the parking lot a restaurant. This was not like her at all.

"It was nobody," Kiana told her, crossing her arms over chest, wishing Jasmine would just drop the topic altogether. "It was just a one-time thing anyway." She partially lied.

Jasmine made a face, not believing her in the slightest. "I highly doubt that."

Kiana simply waved her off. "You don't even have the right to question me when I'm still mad at you for ditching me at the party."

"Look, I'm sorry alright? I just lost the track of time." Kiana eyed her suspiciously before snorting at her response. "What? I did."

"You lost the track of time because you were too busy letting Rich di-"

"Hey, guys!" Jasmine said although a little too loudly but purposely, to interrupt what Kiana was going to say.

"We've only been back in school for three weeks and two of my professors want papers due by next Thursday. Some of these teachers act like we don't have more than one class or a life to live!" Naomi fussed dramatically, taking a seat from across Kiana, with Rich and Namjoon following right behind her.

"Relax babe, I already told you that I'd help," Namjoon reassured her, pulling her onto his lap. "We'll even start on it tonight."

"Aw, thank you, baby." Naomi cooed, placing a soft kiss on his lips before they started up an intense make-out session in the middle of the cafeteria.

"I swear they do this all the time," Jasmine grunted, making a face along with everyone else.

Laughing to herself, Kiana put away her books, knowing that she wouldn't be getting any type of studying done while her friends were here. "Where's everyone else?" She asked out loud to no one in particular.

"I think Jimin and Jungkook are busy at the dance studio. Hope had to go to work right after class and you know Suga is back at the dorms working on music. Of course, Jin is somewhere following behind Brielle lame ass around campus." Rich answered, putting his attention right back on Jasmine.

Kiana watched both couples talk amongst themselves, easily making her feel like the third wheel though she knew it wasn't intentionally. Just as she leaned over to look inside of her backpack to grabbed her headphones, a loud gasp suddenly silenced the convo amongst the table. Pausing her movements, Kiana wished she had chosen to wear her hair down and not up today.

"Who did it?" Naomi questioned, pointing an accusing finger towards Kiana, making everyone focus their attention on her.

Cussing under her breath, Kiana slowly sat up facing everyone. "Nobody." She mumbled, already thinking of an excuse to use so she could leave. There was no way she was about to tell all of them what really happened. Besides, was it really any of their business to know anyway?

"Lies, I know what hickeys look like Kiana," Naomi stated. "So who is he...or she, you know we don't discriminate."

Kiana groaned, covering her face with her hands. "Please stop asking questions, Naomi. Whoever did it won't be doing it again." Or at least that's what she keeps telling herself.

At hearing that, Jasmine snorted. "So you say."

Peeking through her fingers, she saw Rich and Namjoon smirking, clearly finding their "innocent" friend discomfort funny. "Leave her alone Naomi. Kiana is a grown ass woman. She can fuck whoever she wants." Rich spoke up, failing at coming to her defense.

"I didn't even do that!" Kiana could feel her whole face get warm at that moment. 

Jasmine’s obnoxious giggles filled her ears as she glared at her best friend. "What? I mean he's right you know. You shouldn't be ashamed of being pleasured Kiki."

Opening her mouth to protest, Kiana was suddenly cut off by a voice that made her freeze in place. "My words exactly." All eyes snapped towards the man who stood behind Kiana, eyeing her closely. 

Kiana looked at her friends, immediately taking notice of the hardened look that engulfed Namjoon's usual dimpled smiling face. 

"Kiana." The way her name sounded coming from him just stirred something within her soul. 

"Taehyung." She answered back, finally turning in her seat to look up at the tall man, almost choking on her own spit when she took in his full appearance. His once black hair was now dyed silver, hung low, almost covering his eyes catching her completely off guard. 

"Are you busy?" He asked, not paying her friends any attention.

"Yes, she is," Namjoon answered for her quickly. "So you can leave." His threatening tone didn't go unnoticed. Kiana looked back at him questioningly, trying to figure out what was going on.

Taehyung smirked glancing at the clearly pissed off Namjoon. "Does he speak for you, Kiana?"

Everyone looked between the two confused as to what is going on. While Namjoon was ready to come up out of his seat, Taehyung was looking so unbothered by the whole situation.

Kiana started to feel like she was being put on the spot as Namjoon and Tae looked at her, waiting for her answer.

"What do you need Taehyung?" She could feel the eyes of onlookers, not liking the shift in the air.

"You." He answered smoothly and rather bluntly. "Please."

Biting her lower lip, she sighed and grabbed her things. "You can't be serious about leaving with him Kiana?"

Tossing her backpack over her shoulder, she gave Namjoon a small smile. "I'll be fine Joon, I promise." She told him, placing her hand in Taehyung's waiting one.

Sparing her friends one last glance, she allowed Taehyung to lead the way out of the cafeteria. She trusted her gut, and for whatever reason, she trusted him also. Deep down, she couldn't deny the feeling of knowing him.

But from where was the question.

_____

Opening his front door, Taehyung moved to the side, allowing Kiana to step into his home first. Her eyes looked over the clearly pricey bachelor pad with the perfect views. It looked super clean and almost unlived in if it wasn't for the messed up blanket on the white U-shaped couch.

"Why'd you bring me here?" She asked, watching the sleet fall from the light gray skies.

"Why'd you let me?" He retorted back, causing her to smirk a little at his words. Placing his keys on the counter, he moved towards his fridge taking a quick look inside. "Are you hungry? Thirsty?"

"Do you have any juice by any chance?" Kiana was never the type to turn down free food or beverages. Plus her throat had her feeling a little parched.

"Is orange juice fine?"

"Yes."

She could hear him rummaging through his kitchen but not his almost silent footsteps when he stood behind her. Tapping her shoulder, she almost jumped out of her skin. "Nervous?" He observed, handing her the glass that held her juice. His dark eyes scanned her make-up free face, wishing he could run his fingers across her cheek.

To wrap his hands around her neck.

He wanted to touch and taste every inch of her...and in due time, he'll do just that.

"Not really." She whispered, taking a sip from the glass, refusing to look at him. Taehyung had a way of making her feel...strange. She was far from scared of him but there was something off about him. The way he looked at her made her both nervous and needy at the same time.

His face barely showed any type of emotion and for some reason, she liked that shit. 

"Have you thought about it?" He questioned her, reaching his hand out to tug on the loose piece of hair that hung in front of her face.

"About what?" She didn't recall him asking her anything to consider.

Taehyung licked his lips, looking away from her for a second. "Us."

Kiana gulped down her juice, handing him the now empty glass. "Oh, that." She actually lied. The last few days all three men have been on her mind as she tried to wrap her mind around why all of this was happening. And if she was being honest, she had no clue as to why any of them would want her like that.

Placing the glass on the table next to them, Taehyung took her hand in his and led her to the couch. "I just want to know one thing...." Her eyebrow raised him curiously. "Did you like it?"

She loved it. "I...can I use your restroom?" 

Smirking at her, he pulled her closer, leaning down to whisper in her ear. "Down the hall, second door on your left."

Taehyung watched her body visibly shiver as she moved away from him and walked down the hall, following his directions. Not even a second after she closed the door, a shirtless Joo-hyuk stepped out of his room, deciding to make his presence known.

"I would say that I'm surprised she allowed you to bring her here but she seems to trust you." He commented, placing his hands inside of his sweatpants pocket. "I still don't think she's ready for all of us though."

Taehyung nodded his head in agreement. "I know but we have to speed this up. The faster she trust us, the better we can protect her." Their plan was to take things slow, to gain their trust but Taehyung didn't take it lightly knowing someone would hurt Kiana just to get to him.

It was almost as if the enemy was asking to die.

"Then you plan on telling her who you are sometime soon?"

"No. I'll let her figure that out in her own. She isn't ready to hear what happened back then." If he were to reveal his true identity, she would only distance herself and that's the last thing he needed.

"If not that, we should tell her what we do. She deserves to know that much."

"Know what?" Kiana asked once she entered the living room, catching Joo-hyuk's last sentence.

Both men faced her as she struggled to keep her eyes off her Joo-hyuk's well-defined abs and on their faces. She watched them share a look before they focused on her once more, making her suspicious as to what they were talking about while she hid in the bathroom. The cool water she splashed on her face did little to calm her down.

"Come here," Taehyung beckoned her, noticing how she purposely kept herself at a distance from them.

Kiana hesitated for a second, almost fixing her mouth to say no but moved forward at his demand. Still, she only took baby steps only to stop at an arm's length from them. The fact she could already feel how wet she was, spoke volumes to her and they haven't even touched her....yet.

Joo-hyuk’s long arm reached out as his hand gripped her shoulder while he walked and stood behind her. She felt his hard chest against her back, leaving no space between the two. This was the waffle house parking lot all over again she thought to herself.

"Take this off." Joo-hyuk tugged at the end of her hoodie, indicating what he meant. "Please." He added softly, sliding his hand underneath to touch her stomach.

Slowly, Kiana removed the oversized Nike hoodie and tossed it on the couch, leaving her in just her simple white tank top, black leggings and sock covered feet. She had removed her boots near the front door when they first arrived.

Taking it upon himself, Joo-hyuk wrapped his arms around her waist as he placed kisses down the side of her face and onto her neck. Kiana bit into her bottom lip, feeling him slid his hand inside of her leggings and run his finger over her soaked folds. As soon as a low moan fell from her lips, Taehyung pulled her away from him possibly which only made Joo-hyuk smile mischievously.

He eyed his friend, watching him lick his finger clean and smirk at her taste. "What do you think of people who kill, Kiana?" Joo-hyuk questioned her, watching Taehyung skim his fingers up her arm.

"Depends." She answered truthfully. "If they do it because of self-defense then it's understandable but if not, and they do it just because, then I question their mindset."

Taehyung smiled at this. "So you'd think that they were crazy?"

"Bit of a psychopath personally." She's watched enough of the ID channel and documentaries to pick up a few things. Still, she was far from an expert. She wouldn't know a psychopath if one was standing in front of her.

Joo-hyuk shot Taehyung a look...if only she knew.

"Our families are....different Kiana. We do things for them, things that aren't exactly "ideal"." Joo-hyuk revealed, moving closer to them, trapping her between the two of them. "There's blood on our hands,"

"But we enjoy it because it's who we are." Taehyung finished, summing up what they meant, enjoying the way Kiana tensed up from their confession.

Her mind was screaming at to get her shit and leave. She knew there was something strange about them and to now know what it was, she should be afraid. Any other person with common sense wouldn't have even left her friends to allow someone they barely take them somewhere. Or touch them in the way that she let them.

Yet here she was, seemingly unfazed by their words.

"Ji-soo too?" While she didn't really know Joo-hyuk or Taehyung, she did know Ji-soo. She couldn't even imagine him doing what they claimed to have done.

"He's darker than you think beautiful." 

Kiana blinked her eyes, processing everything that they said. "So will you let us in after hearing all of this?" Joo-hyuk asked, moving his hands underneath her tank top to grip at her sides.

"How do I know that you won't hurt me?" She mumbled, resting her head against Taehyung's chest as he kissed on her neck.

"We will...but in a good way of course," Joo-hyuk answered truthfully, already knowing that they all liked certain things. Taehyung had a kink when it came to choking, Joo-hyuk loved biting but he enjoyed ass slapping more and judging by the size of Kiana's backside, he'd be doing plenty of it. Ji-soo however, had submissive tendencies, he preferred being told what to do and dominated over.

"But never intentionally, that I promise you. We're only here to please and protect you at any cost necessary." He added. "But before you answer, let us show you what we mean." Taehyung's unusually deep ass voice made her body hum as a response.

She wasn't mentally prepared for this!

Without any type of warning, Joo-hyuk lifted up her shirt to reveal her braless chest much to his surprise. He lifted his eyebrow at her before attaching mouth to her left breast, sucking on the already hardened nipple. Kiana gasped, her hands going straight for his hair, holding him close to her chest. She moaned out as he played with the other making her grind up against Taehyung, who she almost forgot about from being distracted by Joo-hyuk skillful tongue.

But unknowing to her, Taehyung had slipped his hand inside of her panties and slowly ran a lone finger down her slit before he toyed with her clit. Kiana hissed out a cuss word as Taehyung rubbed her sensitive nub in a slow circular motion. Wave after wave of pleasure took over her making it hard for her to even stand. 

Joo-hyuk moaned from her grabbing a fist full of his hair because of the sudden pressure Taehyung applied to her clit. His fingers moved faster, making her grip ahold of his arm as her body shook. And once he decided to slide two fingers into her, she knew it was only a matter of time. 

The sound of her wetness could be heard over her soft moans and heavy breathing. "You're going to cum for us jagiya?" Taehyung's husky voice taunted in her ear in his native tongue. Kiana whined as her thighs began to tremble from the tone of his voice, though she didn't know what the hell he said, she took a good guess. 

Humming at the way her body reacted, Taehyung speed up his movements just as Joo-hyuk bite her nipple causing Kiana's orgasm to rip through her so fiercely. Her loud moans filled their ears while they enjoyed the way her body jerk until she came down from the high that they had given her.

"Shit." She croaked out, feeling Taehyung remove his fingers. Joo-hyuk eyed him as he licked his fingers clean, silently asking him if they could take it a step further. With one simple nod, Joo-hyuk picked up Kiana and power walked to his bedroom where she'd be more comfortable with what was about to happen.

Placing her on the bed, Kiana looked at both men confused. "Relax," Taehyung told her, leaning on top of her to place a kiss on her lips. Moving away, he held eye contact with her as he pulled down her leggings, along with her panties, tossing them behind him.

Kiana closed her legs, knowing her pussy was flowing like the Amazon river. "No, let us see how wet you are love." Joo-hyuk grinned, getting onto his knees. He quickly grabbed her hips and pulled her towards the edge of the bed. Pushing her thighs apart, he was faced with her very wet "Gina", loving the scent that came from her.

Kiana covered her face with her hands, embarrassed at how close he was. "Trust me, sweetheart, you're gonna want to hold on to the sheets for this." He warned her before giving her second set of lips a long lick. Kiana's hands went straight for the sheets, grabbing them tightly. 

He teased her, licking up what was left of her orgasm from her thighs and outer labia. Kiana moaned, rolling her hips, wishing he'd give her what she wanted.

Finally focusing on her slit, he took long and slow licks barely grazing her clit. Pushing her thighs further apart, his mouth opened wide, latching onto her pussy as he pushed his tongue past her folds. He began to feist on her, flicking his tongue in ways that had Kiana's back lifting off the bed. 

Joo-hyuk groaned from her unique taste, lapping up as much of her flowing juices as he could. All while Taehyung sat in a chair watching one his closest friends take his girl to new heights.

Kiana ran her fingers through Joo-hyuk's hair, pushing him closer to her core. Her moans sounded so fuckin perfect to them. Knowing that he had to make this quick because of possessive Taehyung could be, he moved to her clit, sucking the soft tissue before flickering his silk like tongue quickly making her body shudder.

" Oh...myyyy..." Kiana sobbed, her eyes rolling into the back of her head. All it took was one long lick to have her withering against his sinful mouth and Joo-hyuk happily licked every drop of her cum, drawing out her orgasm even longer.

Kiana laid on the bed breathing loudly, her vision blurry and mind in a fog. She wiped the sweat from her forehead as Joo-hyuk moved away and softly kissed her. "You're not done yet." He whispered, smirking at her widening eyes.

Joo-hyuk moved away from her, and towards his bathroom, giving them some privacy and him a much needed cold shower.

Propping herself on her forearms, she watched through hooded eyes as Taehyung took Joo-hyuk's place in between her thighs. "Please Tae." She begged. Her body was still trembling after what Joo had done to her and she knew Taehyung was going to have her climbing up the walls. "Don't do it."

She didn't even know if she could handle it.

The evil smirk he gave her made her shut up quick. "You really don't want me to taste you, Kiana?" He teased, eyeing her thick thighs. She shook her head no but of course he ignored it, instead, he blew at her heated core causing her to bite her lip. Seeing that she was trying to move away, Taehyung wrapped his arms around her waist, and pulled her closer, locking her in place.

Wasting no time, Taehyung began ravaging on her pussy ruthlessly, using the tip of his tongue to play with her clit. Kiana squealed, moving her hips, trying to match his movements. His eyes never left her face, taking in the sex faces that she was making.

"Fuck Tae!" She growled out from the feeling of him sucking on her lips and him flattening his tongue against her clit repeatedly. He licked every inch of her, even dipping his tongue inside of her which caused her toes to curl at the new feeling he was blessing her with.

The sounds of him tasting her and him watching her seemed to make her wetter, which Taehyung hungrily sucked up. She was so damn addictive to him.

Rotating the very sensitive nub with his mouth, sucking on it harshly making Kiana cry out in pure ecstasy. Moving one of his arms from around her waist, he decided to put his long fingers to use and push two inside of her, watching her body jump from suddenly being penetrated.

His fingers worked at a slow pace, removing his mouth to watch his digits disappear and reappear again. The sweet courses of "oohs" fell from her lips when he found her g spot and moved his fingers in a "come here" motion making Kiana have an out-of-body experience. The familiar feeling in the pit of her stomach began to flutter.

She laid back on the bed with her eyes closed, opening her legs wider, slowly falling in love with his movements. It was too much. "I-i can't...." She whined, her head tossing and turning from how he was making her feel right now.

Taehyung understood exactly what she was saying. Complying with her needs, he attached his mouth to her clit, giving it all of his attention, licking and nibbling as his fingers speed up. He watched her back lift away from the mattress, his name fell from her lips in a chant as her orgasm hit hard, pushing his fingers out her.

Still, he didn't let up until she was pushing him away. "God, Tae! Stop!" She gasped, scooting up the bed and away from him.

Standing up, Taehyung licked his lips. "You're a runner....I'll have to change that." He could tell how unready she was for the real thing. If she could barely handle his tongue, then he could only imagine what'll happen once he dicks her down.

Kiana simply shook her head, laying back against the pillows. She was half expecting the usual wave of embarrassment to wash over her but it never came. A part of her knew how this would look to the outside world but she didn't care at the moment. No one had to know what they did behind closed doors.

"So will you let us be what you need?" Joo-hyuk asked once he stepped out of the steaming bathroom in nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Just so we’re clear, Ji-soo and Joo can only do special things if I allow it because ultimately, you are mine," Taehyung warned her. His friends were well aware that their first priority when it came to Kiana was to keep her safe.

Something in her brain sparked as he spoke those familiar words. She felt as though she heard it from somewhere else but couldn't figure out where. Regardless, she eyed both men, already making up her mind the moment she got into Taehyung's car.

"Yes."

[whateverisbeautiful]

Reveling in Richonne

#148: The Defender (9x07-9x12)

So before 9x14, there were more little notable tidbits here and there. Michonne had to defend her stance a lot and go through it. And even though she didn’t seem to have a whole lot of people behind her, I was on her side completely. I could see her perspective loud and clear so you know...

As for 9x07, I like that Siddiq seems to be one of Michonne’s closest confidants because he’s a really good person and because Carl’s the one who brought him to her. Grimes looking out for each other even after they depart. 

Michonne has a moment in 9x07 where she tells Yumiko, “I know what it’s like. To worry about your family. To carry the burden of protecting them. To feel guilt when they suffer.” Everything Michonne is doing and has done is for her family, and not just her immediate family but for the larger community family they’ve built. She wants to do what’s best for all of them. 

Yumiko says they’ll all be fine. And Michonne says, “Because you have to be. I would know.” And she reassures them they’ll find a home. That’s also something Michonne would know since she went from being a lone wolf type to truly finding her home and the family she was meant for.  

We also learn that Maggie left without even saying anything to Michonne which is tough and strange. For some reason the two had a falling out that doesn’t ever quite get explicitly addressed . 

Michonne tells Siddiq she kept her promise to Judith by getting that new group to Hilltop and so now she’s going to go home. And it’s sweet how all of this really was because she heard Judith out and wanted to honor her daughter’s wish. 

Siddiq asks what about her promise to Carl and she says it’s not that simple. And it’s true, after everything she’s been through sometimes the rules change. Just like if Carl or Rick would’ve gone through that Jocelyn stuff they would’ve adjusted too.

Y’all, I don’t even want to address the uncalled for hostility Michonne’s met with when she pulls up to Hilltops gates in 9x08. 🙄 But I will say that Tara needed to turn that attitude all the way down cuz she had me watching like... 

Michonne and Carol have a little exchange and get to talk about the kids which is nice. I’m glad someone acknowledged Michonne as a mother and not just the Head of Security like we’d been seeing. And it makes sense that Carol would be the one to do that. 

I’ve alway wanted Carol and Michonne to have more scenes together since they’re both strong women who have gone through a lot of the same things. So I appreciate that in this moment they at least acknowledge the similarities in their journeys when Carol says, “You and me, we both lost children and we kept going.” 

It’s deep cuz losing a child is the toughest thing to go through and they two of them have seen it happen many times and been personally affected from it. And yet years later these two are still standing cuz they have an immense strength within them. 

(Side note: So the wigs…can we talk about it for a sec? 😬  For Michonne’s wig, I get the idea and I like the idea. But all I gotta say is they are lucky Danai can pull off anything cuz the execution of this wig was not always on point to say the least. Like the taping of the edges to start. 🤦🏽‍♀️ They are in Atlanta! Black hair capital. To have a wig like that...they could have done better. I’m just saying. But again, Danai makes it work cuz she just got it like that.👌 And for Carol’s wig, again the idea and the significance of the longer hair isn’t bad, but still that execution was not the move.🏽)

Later in this episode, Michonne says how she knows she didn’t make easy choices but, “at least they’re alive so they can hate me for it.” I’m still unclear as to what would make the others behave this way towards Michonne. 

Even if she did cut places off, no one ever stopped and said hey I know Michonne used to have the most sound head on her shoulders of us all so maybe if she’s making a drastic decision there’s a valid reason for it. 

People seem to know what Michonne went through, or at least the gist, but still gave no understanding. Michonne’s mantra now is that there’s a whole lot of broken world between the communities so they’ve gotta focus on taking care of their own. And yes would it be nice if they could all just be united? Definitely. That’s what she’d really want. But also right now Michonne’s at a point where she has to do what she has to do for her family, the same way Rick did. 

Rick straight up kicked Carol out of their community in season four to protect his own, so drastic measures have been taken before for the sake of protecting your family.

Michonne really does feel like she’s looking out for the best interests of everyone if they stop traveling so much cuz it would keep everybody a bit safer. Not just Alexandria, everybody. When she tells Siddiq at least their alive to hate me it’s because she genuinely sees her decisions as having kept everybody alive. She didn’t cut things off to punish, dismiss, or divide. It was to protect and save.

So next, it’s interesting cuz my favorite part of 9x09 was in the “previously on” part lol. 

Michonne’s voiceover does a briefing on the past and mentions everything that went down. And she says “We lost friends we loved…my true love.” And y’all, that alone took me out. 😭🙌🏽

I really loved hearing Michonne refer to Rick as her true love, even if it wasn’t within the show. Rick is her true love. It’s just the gospel truth. 💯

And then she says, “But even now, six years later, his hopes for the future live on.” And it’s so sweet cuz she says that over clips of Judith and RJ. They’re Richonne’s legacy. 😊👌🏽

So listen, during 9x09 Negan got out of his cell and if the goal is to redeem him, then having him immediately go into Michonne’s home at night and walk right into Judith’s room ain’t a great start. That’s so creepy and violating. 😖

But I do adore the precious  drawing Judith has above her bed. It’s Rick, Michonne, Carl, RJ, and Judith. The royal family. And it says the truest statement ever on the top, “My family is always with me.” Amen, Judith. 😊🙌🏽

As Negan’s about to hop the gate, Judith stops him with a gun cuz she’s about that life. (Although whoever was supposed to be watching her, while Michonne was away, was def slacking.) 

Then Negan and Judith have this whole little exchange and Judith is quite fearless. 

Negan tells Judith, “You know when your mom and dad - when they locked me up, they told me that I was gonna be good for something.” And I just appreciate hearing Rick and Michonne be referred to as “mom and dad”. 

And I like that he acknowledges the wonderland that Alexandria’s become. Despite Judith’s knack for making her own decisions she does at least know who’s boss when she tells him, “Rules are rules. My mom decides not me.” Which is nice to hear, even if she does let him go afterwards.

Michonne and Daryl also have their first convo post time jump and it’s nice to see them together.

(Side note: I knew they wouldn’t address it or show it but I was very curious as to how the conversation would go when Daryl explains to Michonne why Rick was even in that bridge situation in the first place. Cuz if it was up to Rick…he would’ve been at home with her that day. But Daryl, Maggie, and a fake friend horse unfortunately had other plans.😒)

Michonne tells Daryl that Judith found the new people and vouched for them so she does too and Daryl’s with it. In regards to Paul dying and them bringing him back to Hilltop for closure, Michonne then says, “It’s gonna mean a lot to them. Bringing him back. Burying him.”  You know this speaks to her because she didn’t get that closure with getting to bury Rick.😔

Daryl knows too and sincerely says, “Sorry I couldn’t do that for you.” I appreciate him saying for her specifically, cuz of course he wanted to find Rick for him and everyone else too but he knows that it would have especially meant a lot to Michonne, cuz in losing Rick she lost her soul mate. 

And Michonne looks at him and says, “I’m sorry I couldn’t do that for both of us.” Cuz it’s true these two are the closest people to Rick. It’s his wife and brother and so it is sweet to see them have this moment of understanding more than anyone, what not finding Rick has felt like. 

It’s nice that now Rick has a wife and best friend who still feel the weight of his loss six years later and keep his memory alive. 

Michonne also thanks Daryl for trying to find Rick and “for after” cuz those two went through it big time in between this time jump. 

When they’re confronted by Whisperers at the bridge, I love the shot of Michonne walking with two walkers behind her like her OG days in season three. 

But what’s cooler is that, while the image is reflective of the past, this isn’t the same s3 Michonne. This Michonne has a whole family now and doesn’t just get her strength from the dead, she lives for the living. And slays for the living too.👌🏽

I’m glad Aaron is a real one for at least starting to understand where Michonne is coming from with why she feels these communities need to stay in their own lanes. There’s some sadistic people out there, with Alpha being top of the list, and they know that now.

I’m also here for Judith being a woman of her word. She said she’d shoot next time she sees Negan and that’s what she does. On site.👏🏽

Next time we see Michonne is in 9x12 and she’s confronting these deceptive Alexandrians about the radio stuff. She has to give them a dose of reality when she lets them know this sneaky stuff not only could get people killed, it already is getting people killed. 

She tells them that putting themselves out there when they don’t have to is dangerous but Father G feels like cutting themselves off from their friends is dangerous too. 

Aaron steps up and defends Michonne’s point of view because there are literally masked enemies out there now that confirm exactly what Michonne has been saying. 

And Aaron speaks nothing but facts when he says, “We put Michonne in charge of security for a reason. Her judgement has saved us time and time again.” Thank you Aaron for that dose of solid truth. Louder for the people in the back. Michonne’s judgement stay saving lives. 👌

🏽Siddiq brings up the fair and that Michonne turned it down which upsets the people. But, after seeing how the fair went down, I’ll be honest, the petty in me was like…do 👏🏽y’all 👏 🏽see now 👏🏽that 👏🏽Michonne’s 👏🏽insctinct👏🏽 is 👏🏽always👏🏽 right!? 

They’re lucky she’s not the “told you so” type because she knew the fair could be dangerous and leave them all vulnerable and well, exactly that happened. Yes Michonne is leading with an iron fist and I’m not saying she’s perfect, but they gotta at least understand that sis has a point. A lot of valid points, if you ask me. 

It’s good Michonne is so levelheaded and mature too because a lesser person might’ve been like; you Alexandrians better listen to me...

In Michonne’s first exchange with Negan since the time jump, she shows up to his cell and wants answers as to how he got out and why he came back and what he was planning. 

Negan really is still trying to talk all big like he’s in control and tells her how he was in her house and could’ve killed her and a lot of people but Michonne calls him right out and knows he came back cuz he knew there was nothing out there for him. It’s a read. 💯 This whole scene is a read from Michonne and I’m here for it. 😌

Negan again gets too personal when he tells her, “You’re keeping me in here to remind everyone how merciful the great Rick Grimes was.” Keep that name out your mouth, Negan. 😤 

And then Negan really tries to offer to be some kind of sounding board for her which is low key insane lol. 

I was a little shook that he’d even think Michonne would even consider an offer like that. Sounding board!? Ain’t nothing sound about that man. Being in that cell so long clearly has him not thinking straight. 

When he refers to Michonne as the leader, she says she’s not but both Negan and I were like come on girl, you’s the leader. 😂

He mentions he knows she wrote up some constitution, and it was cuter when Rick referred to it as that. Just saying. And then Michonne sees Judith by the window and is surprised and I was like yes girl, your daughter is buddy-buddy with Negan and we need to nip that in the bud asap.

Michonne then confronts Judith at home. But first she watches as Rick and Michonne’s peaceful prince, RJ, sleeps. Precious. ☺️

Literally everytime they show RJ I just feel like we’ve won the best award. Whenever he’s on screen I’m just like...

Michonne asks why Judith was spying on her and Judith says she wasn’t, she went there to see Negan. Michonne is surprised to learn she’s been talking to him and so she asks why. Judith says she feels sorry for him and Michonne is adamant when she says, “He is not your friend, sweetheart.” It’s the truth.

And then Judith has the tween response of, “Well obviously.” Michonne asks, “So if he’s not your friend then why are you talking to him?” and Judith says, “He listens to me. Not everybody does.”

It’s interesting cuz so much of what a parent does can go unnoticed. Michonne listened to Judith with Connie and Co and personally escorted them to Hilltop to keep her promise to Judith. But sometimes when you’re a kid you don’t see that.

This moment between Michonne and Judith reminds me a bit of Rick and Carl’s exchanges in the past. And in both situations, even when they don’t see eye-to-eye, the love and care they have for each other is always so evident. It’s why they so fiercely protect each other. 

Michonne tells her, “I don’t want you to ever go near him again.” And Judith asks why not so Michonne explains, “There’s a reason that he’s in a cage, Judith. He is a monster.” And I was like...

And then Judith gets passionate when she says, “No he’s not. He’s a human being.” Girl, if you were in that lineup you’d feel different. 😬 Pretty sure that’s a direct quote from Michonne’s mind. 😂 

Michonne clarifies saying, “But he has done monstrous things.  He’s killed people. People I cared about. People your dad cared about. And if we ever let him out it would start all over again.”

Judith counters with, “But mom, he did get out. He’s not like that anymore.” And Michonne says, “I get why you want to believe that. But people don’t really change.” 

And then Judith responds with the deep statement, “You did.” This really resonates with Michonne. And I think this moment resonates with her for a lot of reasons. 

Michonne has changed and evolved a lot over the seasons. Especially from a lone wolf to a valued family member. She also changed leadership styles after going through trauma. So she knows Judith has a point that she changed. And I think it hits her that Judith has noticed these changes within her. 

You can tell it stirs up a lot in her so she pauses and tells Judith to go to her room. And Judith again has the tween response of, “Why?” and Michonne is just honest and says, “Cuz I need a minute.” It’s the healthiest approach to be honest like that and take some time to process all this. 

Again, it’s tough cuz Michonne is expected to balance so much. She’s expected to be hands on as both the Head of Security/Leader and as a mother of two. It makes it difficult to have moments to breathe. So as weighted as she clearly feels in this moment, I’m glad she at least takes a moment to herself to process. 

Michonne has a good heart and a balanced character, so she’s open to hearing people out. And we see that when she has a sweet moment with Aaron where she thanks him and Aaron again reiterates his understanding of where she’s coming from. 

Because she’s willing to be a team player, she tells Aaron that she won’t veto the councils desire to go to the fair. She admits she thinks it’s a terrible idea (and she’s right) but she also cares to value their rights, plus it’s for the Kingdom, which she cares for. 

Aaron says he hopes they don’t regret this and Michonne agrees and unfortunately they all will. 

But at least this moment shows that Michonne is willing to do what the best leaders do which is take a step back every now and then and let people lead themselves. 

As people pack up for the fair they stay on this shot of Michonne alone and sitting very contemplatively. And it’s tough seeing how much she has to endure alone when normally Rick would be right by her side. 

It’s also tough cuz Michonne’s gut feelings are so right so often, so it can’t be easy to know that her people are willingly putting themselves at risk for something she knows will be a mess. But they lived and they learned…well most of them. 🙃

And that’s everything that goes down with Michonne and her family in the events leading up to the meaty Michonne episode we get in 9x14. It’s a tough one but also really significant so you know I’ll break it down. 👌🏽😭

gifs source: @michonnegrimes

[bigskydreaming]

Batfandom’s favorite word to use is “adopted.” And I don’t mean that in a good way, but in a ‘nah, this is actually kinda obnoxious’ way?

Like, 90% of fics and headcanons in Batfandom flat out refuse to use the words ‘father,’ ‘brother(s),’ ‘sister’ or ‘son(s),’ without the qualifier ‘adopted’ always, always, ALWAYS attached to the front of said words. Like, endlessly. Over and over. Not just once, early on, to establish the specific nature of the family relationships, but like....this sledgehammer insistence on bringing that point home. Each. And. Every. Time. A. Familial. Relationship. Is. Described. Ever.

Sorry to be cranky about it, I know people don’t mean any harm by it, and like, I’m not saying its offensive. That’s not the right word IMO, but its definitely....grating? And just to be clear, I don’t pretend I’m speaking for everyone who’s adopted or from adopted families, I’m sure plenty of people who fit that description have different takes on this than me. BUUUUT I also know for a fact that I am not the only person this bugs in a big way. I’ve had this convo over the years with a lot of other fans I know who are adopted. And its not just Batfandom either, its every fandom with central adoptive relationships, like Thor and Loki, etc. Its just especially jarring in Batfandom because there’s so many different adoptive relationships front and center, so this pops up like...EVERYWHERE.

Idk, like....I’d just ask that writers please consider WHY they feel the qualifier ‘adopted/adoptive’ is a necessary addition every time the label of father/son/brother is used in a fic. What they think it adds, what they feel it describes about the relationship that’s different from any other father/son/brother relationship. Because I do think that most people (at least those not from adopted families themselves) do it without thinking about it. It seems just like another descriptor, like its addition is just a level of specificity that’s like, slightly more accurate than JUST father/son/brother......its just. In my experience, and that of most other adopted kids/relatives of adopted kids I’ve spoken with personally....that’s not really how it works?

Its about context, is the thing. How a thing is framed. When used just initially, like when establishing the exact nature of family dynamics, sure, in that sense its an accurate descriptor that lends an additional level of specificity to family relationships. It describes how this particular family formed, how it came to be. But AFTER that’s been established....that qualifier of adopted tacked onto every family label....its no longer establishing anything further. Instead, now its just perpetuating the idea that the nature of the family relationship itself is inherently different, BECAUSE of how it was formed.

Its a subtle distinction, but its very much a real and definite distinction. When first used, ‘adopted’ describes a family origin. Used over and over, ‘adopted’ describes a family that’s somehow wholly different from non-adopted families, BECAUSE that specific family origin is seen as superseding and overlaying every other aspect of the family and its inter-dynamics. You see what I’m saying? And its that latter part that grates, because...no? That’s not....that’s not nearly the omnipresent thing that I think a lot of people seem to take for granted it is?

Again, maybe its different for other adopted families, but like.....okay. So, in my case, my mom’s technically my adopted mom, I have a different bio mom that I haven’t seen since I was ten, my older sister has the same bio parents as me and my two younger siblings are adopted with no biological relation to each other or to anyone else in our family, though unlike me and my sister were adopted at birth. For as long as my mom’s been my mom....I barely ever referred to my mom as anything other than my mom. It usually didn’t occur to me to use qualifiers when describing her, because like, she was who I saw as my mom. I mean, she’s literally my mom. That’s literally what that word adopted in front of the label ‘mother’ means. Whether you include it or not, the mother part remains true. 

And in fact, describing her as my adopted mom wasn’t even like, an establishing qualifier I always included when first talking about my family to someone who didn’t know our history. It was usually more kinda....a tenth conversation kind of clarification because it was more an afterthought than anything else? Like kinda a belated realization when they looked at me confused at something I just said, like...’oh yeah, see technically my mom is my adopted mom, and when I said ‘my mom’ there just now I was actually talking about my bio mom, totally different thing. Like technically I have two, but only one really matters most of the time so its not worth mentioning to like, everyone I meet, you know?’ That sort of thing. If anything, I was more likely to use the qualifier in regards to my birth mom, the one I didn’t live with. Like I’d say, this is my mom when talking about my mom, as in my adopted mom, and I’d refer to my birth mom as just that, as my birth mom or my bio mom.

And my siblings and I tended to describe ourselves as adopted siblings more upfront, at least when introducing ourselves and our familial relationship to someone new...but that was less about us seeing us our sibling relationship as being different from non-adopted families, and more just like...a necessary avoidance of bullshit? LOL, because I mean, its kinda obvious that my siblings and I aren’t biologically related. I’m white, my little sister is Vietnamese, my little brother’s indigenous Mexican. We tended to lead with “this is my sister/brother, we’re adopted’, but mostly because like.....full offense, but people are kinda dumb? *Shrugs* If we just said ‘this is my sister and this is my brother’ and just left it at that, people would nine out of ten times like....stutter and get all squinty-eyed and confused and be all...what...how...because lol, idk, apparently its a hugely hard leap to figure out oh hey, maybe adoption is a thing here? 

(And also just FYI in general, it was always just annoying because like, even if you don’t ‘get’ HOW two seemingly unrelated people can be related and all they say when introducing themselves is ‘we’re brother and sister’, like.....you’re not actually owed an in depth explanation as to omg how did this strange phenomenon come to be. And the entitlement so many people we encountered growing up, where like....they felt they were owed our life stories upon meeting us just once, simply because they Didn’t Understand and somehow this equated to But They NEEDED To Understand, because...Reasons....like, no. You don’t actually need to understand how two people are related if they don’t feel like providing you with the full context. Either take them at face value or don’t, you don’t get to be a dick and demand a full accounting of their legal and symbolic relationships just so you can like....validate this and be all okay yeah, that checks out, I’ll allow it. LOL. No? Your validation of our relationship is not required, nor is your understanding of it, get over yourselves. So just. Like. Don’t be Those Guys. If you meet people who introduce themselves as family and the exact nature of that family relationship isn’t immediately obvious or seems somewhat confusing like....just...deal? They’ll tell you more if they want you to know more, and if they don’t tell you more they probably feel you know everything you need to know and that’s literally their call to make, so....yeah).

Idk. Like, due to the age differences in our family, my little sister and I were the only ones who overlapped in attending the same schools at the same time, just different grade levels. And we used to have this bit where any time someone new stumbled while grasping the fact that we were brother and sister, and they did that Brain Malfunction, Processing Error glitch face while they tried to compute Asian sister, white brother, how does that even work....so like, at some point we just started doing this thing where any time we saw that Look, my little sister would launch into this painfully earnest explanation of how so, “okay, our dad’s Vietnamese and our mom’s white, and I got all the Vietnamese genes and my brother here got all the white genes,” and I would just keep a totally straight face and nod along, backing her up, and you could literally see them falling for it for a good minute or so before they realized oh hey, they’re totally just bullshitting me. And then eventually we got told to cut it out because teachers were complaining about looking dumb in front of other students when we did that, which, well duh that’s cuz you were, dumbasses BUT I DIGRESS.

But point is.....I honestly do not know many (if any) adopted families who go around making a point to emphasize the adopted part of their family relationships any and every time they come up, the way most fiction tends to depict adopted characters doing? Once we established to a person that yes, we’re adopted, we didn’t ever feel a need to re-emphasize that or re-establish that same point any time after that. If they idk, forgot or got confused again or whatever, I mean...not our problem, you know? You get one explanation, if you still don’t get it after that, you’re probably not gonna get it anyway because its not like....rocket science. Was pretty much our stance.

And so okay, full disclosure, since anyone who’s followed me for some time has heard me talk about not really having a relationship with my family anymore....like yeah, its true, but because of a whole host of reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with anyone’s adoption status. I mean, I basically hate my parents’ guts and have for a long time, but they’re still my parents, biological and adopted ones alike. And I love my siblings, we’re just unfortunately not close anymore because of all kinds of baggage that got heaped on us that there was really no way to deal with gracefully, look there are reasons I project on the Batfam and identify with that source material, lmao. 

Again though, my point is.....even at the best of times, my family was crazy dysfunctional, much like the Batfamily is.....but even at the worst of times, literally nobody in my family was ever going around insisting on making a distinction about most of us not being biologically related, you know? That’s just....not a thing, IME. Like, family’s kinda all or nothing. You’re either family, or you’re not. The how of it only really matters if you’re hashing out something where that’s specifically relevant, otherwise, not so much because I mean....if it was that easy to make a distinction about how your family is only kinda technically sorta your family, it’d be a hell of a lot easier to just...walk away, you know? Like, even when you flat out hate members of your family, there’s not really a lot of confusion on whether or not you actually consider them family. As complicated as your family dynamic might be, people aren’t usually looking for places to add in that additional complication of ‘mmm but are we reeeeeeally even family, technically?’

So all of that plays into why its so jarring to see writers so insistently and repeatedly emphasize the ‘adopted’ part of Batfamily relationships, as though its like the most important aspect of their entire family dynamic...the be all and end all, the thing EVERYTHING inevitably traces back to, in every fight, in every dynamic, etc. And yeah, I do think people who aren’t adopted or from blended families themselves should maybe put a little more thought into what’s going through their head when they emphasize the adopted part of a family dynamic, like why they fixate on it as the most defining aspect or criteria of it. Because its really not nearly as reflective of reality as the sheer overwhelming SAMENESS of how often its written that way would suggest. Again, just speaking in my experience and that of those I’ve had this fandom conversation with, over the years.

Like, any way you write them, the Batfamily is dysfunctional as hell and always will be. But bottom line, there are some not that great implications underlying the....default assumption, that this dysfunctionality all stems from or inevitably traces back to that ‘adoptive’ qualifier. Have Dick or Jason or Tim or Damian flat out hating each other’s guts at times, there’s certainly canon to support it, and sure, insecurity as to their individual places in their family is always going to be at least a PART of it, but like....being insecure about your place in your family isn’t exactly an experience unique to adopted members of families, you know? But the way the Batfamily is usually written certainly seems to treat that as the takeaway, and again, I’m not sure offensive is the way I’d describe that, but it most definitely is grating. And it never fails to pull me right out of a story and like, moan dramatically at the heavens “oh my god, whyyyyyy, why do so many writers think we’re all just...totally unaware that these kids are all adopted and need to remind themselves and each other and us of that every other paragraph’. 

Mostly because I’m dramatic like that, but also because its annoying too. Like....we get it, dudes. This is not brand new information. Its okay. You can refer to Bruce as just ‘their father’ or to their brothers or Cass as just ‘their brothers and sister’. You will not have like...lied, or anything.

Anyway. Those are my 6 am thoughts on the Batfam, fandom in general, and how you really only need to use the word ‘adopted’ like...once per relationship per fic. That’s really all it takes? The additional 674 mentions of adoption are kinda....gratuitous.

[critgemhero]

I met the Critical Role gang and it went... mostly okay!!!

So yes, it happened. I got my autographs from everyone (except Ashely cuz she is not there) from Critical Role! Below I will go into detail my interactions with each. Sadly, as I suspected, my nerves take over my memory and I have forgotten what they mostly said outside of the typical reactions and a few key moments, but here is how it went down!

Mary Elizabeth McGlynn - I was first in line for her and facing away from her and down when she came out behind the curtain to start and was not ready at all I turned around like the dramatic friggin Chipmunk. I kept apologizing for some reason and then I got her autograph! She was trying to remember the name of Allura, who I was cosplaying and she recognized, and I forgot what we first talked about but she was the first to sign the book! I told her how much I adored her work directing Cowboy Bebop and asked if she directed Tangled The Series (which I had read online she did) and she said yes and said how much I loved that! I actually chose to get a selfie with her which I didn't do for ANYONE else except Matt, which honestly IDK why it just felt like an impulse decision. At least it looks 1000x better than my Matt one... oh god. 

Sam Riegel - What compelled me to jump in and get Sam’s first, I have no idea. But I did. Anyway, this one went okay! I don’t remember much sadly, but I made a decision to tell the whole cast about my video editing and how they inspired me so much to get back into it and about my VFX video I did! I told Sam himself, the star, and he looked confused at first and I got nervous but I could tell when it clicked for him and he looked in SHOCK. He was like that, “that was YOU??? That was so good oh my god!” Pretty much all the cast had that reaction but only 3 are super memorable to me and he was definitely one of them. I remember he said something about how much hard work that must have been and to keep doing what I am doing or something along those lines. Then I tried quickly saying how much I love his voice work like Teddie from Persona, and while walking away said I was excited for Ducktales season 2 and he seemed happy by that and we parted ways!! I am sure there was more nuance too it but again, I FORGOT A LOT FROM MY NERVES.

Marisha Ray - I did these signings in SUCH a weird order, but I decided to get Marisha next. The sad part is that the most memorable moment was Matthew sitting right next to her doing her OWN signings and he randomly pointed to me and said “Hey just wanted to say you did such a great job on your cosplay! You look amazing!!! ” And I pretty much died right then and there like OH MY GOD. Then I actually got her autograph and she was super chill. I again kept anchoring to the inspiration to do my video editing thing so I told the same story to her and she recognized the video too! For some odd reason, I can’t remember her reaction and this really bums me out. I do remember her saying something along the lines of keep doing my best when making my work, but I also remember the incredibly endearing smile on her face when walking away.

Brian W. Foster - He was super chill and personable! There is a reason he is a good host on between the sheets for sure. I made the same video editing inspiration schpiel, but I feel like I worded myself better with him that time around? He was also super surprised and happy to learn it was me too! Sadly, can’t remember much after that, but once again it was all smiles and sweet words because anything bad or awkward would have stood out to me... trust me on that one later. 

Taliesin Jaffe - Taliesin was such a unique interaction! Beforehand he was having some kind of deep and emotional conversation with the woman before me, and I heard him saying something along the lines as “it's been hard” and “I'm getting by day by day” and I my nerves were kinda overcome by compassion. When it was my turn to speak I said hi and while he was smiling he genuinely looked like he was about to cry???? I was starting to talk but I interrupted myself and genuinely asked if he was okay. He said yeah and that it was all just kinda overwhelming. I kinda forgot this middle part, though I feel like I did bring up the video editing thing. He recognized it too and said that the industry needs way more talented and passionate editors and emphasized how important they are. I can’t remember if it was HIM or TRAVIS who said this, but he said something along the lines of the industry really needing people like editors with how hard it is to do and how they basically MAKE the stories into movies themselves. The more I think about it the more I think it was Travis who said it... a lot of my interaction memories are mixed up from my nerves. Either way, I did something very out of character and asked if I could give him a hug. He had seemed so upset earlier and I saw that other woman give him a hug, so I told myself, hey if you are gonna get a hug from a cast member today, Taliesin is a great choice who would probably say yes (but I wanted to hug Marisha so badly too you have no idea, she was so sweet and endearing and made me feel better. Most others did but she was so huggable looking at the time) We hugged tight and I was on my way!

Liam O Brien - ... okay, things sadly got weird here and it kinda puts my mood down. I won’t lie to you guys, Liam seemed really off. Maybe he was overwhelmed by something or very reserved from being shy, but it seemed more like disinterest and... acting rudely? I feel kinda awful implying he was a jerk or something, but I did a really bad job trying to hold a conversation with him and I can’t even remember IF I told him about the video. He was very quiet, and seemed put off by my nervousness in some way? Like he did say something along the lines of “its okay we’re just people” but I barely remember if we made eye contact at all? I thought it was me at first, but I remember when looking up at him after a bit he was the one looking away a lot and I am unsure if I did something to make him uncomfortable or what. What really threw me off the most was his kinda strange remark about me saying how I grew up watching Naruto and loved Gaara. He just kinda nodded and said, “yep, I was a voice of your childhood” like... in disdain as if he has heard that 100 times before? Look... I am NOT saying everyone has to have the same reactions or super happy cheery demeanors (Ex. Taliesin) but something was so disconnected about all of it. Maybe I am only remembering the minor bad parts and am forgetting the good parts, but still. As much as I still love Liam for what he does, he was not having a good time that day and I can only hope I didn't make it worse or even somehow cause it :(

Travis Willingham - Boy this one has the highest and the lowest points. When meeting him I said how nervous I was with these and started rambling and it got pretty bad but he anchored me back in by doing Grog’s voice!!! I told him yes it helped and made me laugh. That was able to get me into saying how much I loved his voice work as Roy Mustang and others, and eventually, I got to my video editing schpiel and he had a similar reaction to Sam! Again, HE may have been the person to tell me everything about how hard editing is and how they are the ones that really make the film, not Taliesin. Then we parted ways... and I realized I had missed SO FUCKING MUCH. I didn’t get to tell him how much I empathized with him recently, or how Fjord was my favorite character, how my favorite acting he did was in Infamous Second Son with Troy Baker. Seconds after walking away I literally yelled “Oh I forGOT TO SAY HOW MUCH I LOVE FJORD” Like really awkwardly as he was already on to the next person but yikes. Great middle, horrible beginning/end.

LAURA BAILEY - I reached a point where I was actually SO nervous I was normal. Like, on the edge of tears but not really so I acted normal but was screaming inside. Luckily she was super personable and I told her she was my favorite voice actress of all time. She asked me what were some of my favorite roles and I was like oh god there are so many but I said Maka from Soul Eater was huge for me and how she was my first cosplay. She said I would make a fantastic Maka and I was so friggin happy!! Then I told her about my editing and Sam video edit and she was so friggin delighted and told me how the WHOLE CAST had seen them because they shared it with each other on a group text chat! She looked so happy and endeared by my words and encouraged me to keep doing what I do. I wish I could remember her words specifically, this is LAURA BAILEY we are talking about!!!

Matthew Mercer - Oh boy here is the big one. Everyone kept saying how he was a long talker and had long conversations with everyone so I was so friggin ready for that. Sadly, I think they started speeding things up with me and I didn't get that long convo. Still, Matt once again complimented my cosplay and I said thank you. I said I forgot the earings which really bugged me but he said if it helps he didn't notice! Then I revealed I almost cried over it and mentally punched myself because why the fuck did I say that out loud. Anyway I immediately went into my video editing schpeil, but I made sure to talk slower and more clearly since people said he made more time. I remember specifically saying thank you for retweeting it and then he recognized it and said how hard that must have been and how amazing it was. He went into this story about how got into editing himself a bit with using final cut pro and adobe after effects and how difficult and tiring it was for him to edit a project he was working on and commended me on how amazing the job was and how we need more editors out there to do that kind of work. I elaborated more on how much he and the rest meant to me and how they got me out of this rutt and helped me find a way to make something for myself and he held my hands real tight and reassured me. Again, WISH I COULD REMEMBER THE FUCKING WORDS, but he looked so happy and emotional for me and all of it felt extremely genuine. What a god damn sweetheart. Here is where things get bad and awkward tho... I forgot my selfie. I paid for a selfie and realized I had FORGOTTON to take it like 10 seconds later after the next person already started talking. I panicked and walked back to the guy managing the lines and he was like OH okay but I apologized to the people on line and him and he said “HEY GUYS are you alright with this young lady getting her selfie??” and they all were like YES and I felt embarrassed but better. Then he told Matt and he was like OH of course okay!! And I gave him my phone because I was confused and nervous and NOT READY or composed like I would have been before. I look awful with my neck way too far back, but it could have been worse... except the moment he took the photo I dropped my prop staff into my face and knocked my head back... I was friggin humiliated. He was like ah are you okay and I literally just said bye have a good day and rushed off almost dropping all my shit without looking at him at all. What a way for me to RUIN a perfectly decent signing... I hope he didn't think I was rude and understood I was kinda hugely embarrassed.

This is seconds before tragedy strikes.

Will Friedle - Yes oddly enough Matthew was not my last signing like I wanted, Will had a different schedule so he was last!  Anyway I was kinda feeling bad cause I never watched Boy Meets World and I didn’t remember much about Kashaw other than he was kinda a jerk but a loveable one who was played really funny, and oh yeah he is RON STOPPABLE. So I refrained from saying and Crit Role stuff since the woman before me already asked all of that and got cool answers to (Vex and Vax would not be Zarha and Kashaw’s kid's names, he would let them have Teifling names) Anyway I was thrown off by him ROLLING A D20 outta nowhere and getting a 7. He rolled again so quickly and I said “Oh man a natural 1?” on the 7 because I didn't see it correctly, less than a second later guess what?? HE ROLLED A 1!! I laughed so hard I felt like I jinxed him! Either way, ALL my nerves were gone from that and it felt a lot better to get his autograph. I told him how much I loved Kim Possible growing up and Ron Stoppable, and how I always used to sing the naked mole rap with my family as a kid and how the bendy straw joke from the movie still kills me. It was way more relaxed then I expected. Then he said okay before you go let me roll and break the curse one last time. Right before he did he said you know what? YOU roll it and see if I could break his curse! I happily took it wishing for the best... I rolled a friggin 2. He said “well at least its better than 1″ and we were both so amused by it as I left! All things considering his went very well!! Anyway, that was my experience with CR autographs today! Some big highs, some big lows, and many content smiles and awkward silence. Overall I consider it a success... but barely. I did fuck up and missed most of their live show floor panel and I'm still kicking myself in the ass for that one. 

[elletromil]

Stay

And here’s your second surprise of the day from me @bouncybrittonie​ :D

This has been a very long time coming. Like. A year and a half. I had to go through our tumblr private messages until March 2017 (well really it was february 28th 2017 but the convo lasted until it became march 1st) to find the plot bunny and make sure I wasn’t forgetting key points for this. I had to take 43 screenshots on my phone just so I wouldn’t have to scroll 10 minutes everytime I wanted to look at that plot bunny.

So yeah context for everyone else. And also you because you might remember what I am talking about or you might have completely forgotten that I once said I was going to write this since I very much not wrote it until now.

I once saw these pics of Colin Firth and was attacked by the idea of a Harry Hart who had retired from Kingsman and cut ties with his old life entirely, deciding to go live on the other side of the world. And then a year later or so, Eggsy, who is still a Knight, meets him by chance at the end of a mission and what I’ve written in this fic happen... And more :3 Because yes of course, this is a verse. The Come Back (Home) verse

Besides that, the only thing you need to know is that when we first started discussing this, we had of course, not seen the sequel since it would only come out months later. So at first it was supposed to be an au. Now, it’s tied to the sequel in that most of the events of TGC happened except Eggsy’s relationship with Tilde because while I love Tilde, there’s no place for her in this particular story.

Also a huge THANK YOU to @insanereddragon for being the awesome beta and cheerleader that she is. This story wouldn’t be what it is now without you either. Seriously, credits for this goes like at least 50% to both Red and Britt.

Stay

They nearly walk by without seeing the other, the only reason they do in the end is because Eggsy has to suddenly sidestep a wandering child and would have tripped on his own feet if it wasn’t for the hand shooting out and righting him at the last moment.

He turns around to thank the stranger only to realise that a stranger the man is not, even if he’s barely recognizable from the last memory he has of him.

Some of it is the beard and the eyepatch, but mostly, it’s how he’s dressed. No suit, not even nice trousers or cardigans. He doesn’t look bad, but instead of a gentleman, he gives off the impression of someone who just came back from a camping trip and wants to stay in that mindset.

“Harry…”

They must look pretty stupid, standing like this in the middle of the sidewalk and he hears some groans as people move around them, but he couldn’t care less.

“Eggsy,” the way Harry says his name makes him shiver like it always did.

Before either of them can say anything more however, they’re interrupted by the angry muttering of a passerby.

“C’est sûr que le milieu du chemin c’est la meilleure place où s’arrêter.”

By the time either of them react, the passerby is already long gone, but the moment is well and truly broken. Eggsy might only have a passing knowledge of French, but even he can understand the gist of what was said. And even if he still doesn’t care, one look at Harry’s sheepish expression is enough to remind him that the man is still a gentleman even if he doesn’t dress the part anymore.

They walk a short distance until they aren’t blocking off anyone’s path, but it’s as if neither of them knows how to start again.

It should make him feel self-conscious, but Eggsy simply feels giddy. It’s been nearly a year since he last saw Harry and nearly the same amount of time since he’s had any news of him. Not that they haven’t tried to keep in touch, but spy work is busy work and now that Harry has retired, there are too many things Eggsy has to keep to himself.

“I hope I am not keeping you from doing anything urgent.”

He wants nothing more than to reassure Harry that he has all the time in the world for him, but he had unfortunately been about to take a taxi to the airport to catch his flight. Before he can say anything however, he hears the familiar click of someone logging into the specific frequency of his glasses.

“Galahad, it seems there was a mistake and that your plane only leaves tomorrow.”

He’s not stupid. He knows there is no way Merlin could have made this kind of mistake. But he knows better than to point it out, knows better than to thank him out loud for his meddling. He’ll bring him back a bottle of the good stuff instead.

“No nothing urgent. Seems I’m free until tomorrow. You wouldn’t know how I can pass the time, would you?”

“I might… Would you care joining me for dinner?” He words it like a question, but the arm he confidently offers Eggsy proves he has no doubt as to his answer.

Eggsy doesn’t waste time with words, just links his arm with Harry’s, pressing their sides together with a happy sigh.

They walk closer than should be appropriate, at least for gentlemen such as themselves, but as long as Harry doesn’t push him away, Eggsy’s going to take everything he can get.

Needless to say, Harry gives no indication of wanting any kind of distance between them.

*

They’ve left the gray of the downtown skyscrapers for the red bricks of townhouses and duplexes of a more residential area. It’s different from London of course, but close enough that Eggsy feels himself relax anyway.

He’s not a fool though. He knows that a big part of that is because he’s with Harry, the man always having been able to put him at ease even in the most dire of situations. But another part is because this feels like being home.

Now, would he feel otherwise without Harry at his side? Probably, but it’s not something he wants to contemplate right now.

Harry leads him to a little cafe that’s away from the busy center of this particular neighborhood, but obviously still quite popular, at least with the locals. The tables on the little terrace are nearly all occupied as well as a handful inside, even if it’s during that weird time that is too late for lunch and too early for dinner.

Harry walks them inside where the air is blessedly cooler than right under the warmth of the late spring sun. The table they sit at is away from the rest of the clientele and Eggsy can understand why this cafe would be a favourite to many. It’s nothing fancy, but it’s obviously well taken for, with comfortable chairs and slightly mismatched tables. The walls are lined with photography, but it feels like they’re being exposed rather than being part of the decor. He recognizes some of the landscapes he’d seen during his mission and feels a pang of regret that he couldn’t take the time to appreciate them as much as the creator of the photographs obviously did.

Before he can continue his musings however, a waitress comes to greet them with a friendly smile. It’s entirely genuine, which could be strange, if not for the familiar way she’s speaking with Harry. Sure, he’s not the best in French, but he still can get by and pick up on tone, theirs fond and teasing as they exchange pleasantries.

“Et qui est ton jeune ami?”

“Karen, je te présente Eggsy. Eggsy, this is Karen.”

They shake hands and already he’s won over by the fact she doesn’t make any comment about his name.

They continue their conversation for a bit, in English this time, even if Eggsy makes an effort to use the little French he’s learned over the years. It turns out to be more than he thought, which really shouldn’t come as such a surprise. He’s got a knack for languages and the only reason he’s not fluent is because no mission has called for French in particular before.

“La même chose que d’habitude?” Karen asks in the end with a knowing smile and Harry nods, amused by what is clearly a little ritual between them.

“Deux fois, s’il te plaît.”

They’re left alone again, or at least, as alone as they can be in a public place.

But with Harry right in front of him, eye filled with a fondness that would leave him with shaky legs if he wasn’t already sitting, their little corner feels as intimate as Harry’s house had felt during their twenty four hours together a lifetime ago.

There is a lot he wants to say, a lot he wants to ask, but it’s like all words are lost to him. It would frustrate him, but Harry seems as incapable of speech as he is and for some reason, it’s oddly reassuring

“I missed you,” Eggsy says, breaking the silence. But it’s entirely unwillingly, the words leaving his lips before he’s even had the time to really think them.

He feels a blush creeping up his cheeks at Harry’s slightly shocked expression, even though it soon softens with affection, which doesn’t help at all with his blush.

“I’ve missed you too Eggsy.” The words aren’t whispered and he doesn’t look embarrassed, just incredibly fond. No, what makes Eggsy look away from too many emotions is having Harry cover his hands with his own above the table, the way he links their fingers together. It seems so simple, like it’s not something Eggsy has imagined doing more times than he dares to admit without ever having the courage to actually do it.

The moment is broken when Karen comes back with a teapot and cups, but Harry doesn’t let go, simply grinning smugly when she winks at them knowingly before leaving again.

When he feels him start to move, Eggsy clings to Harry, an irrational fear that he’ll just get up and leave seizing him, making it hard to breath.

“I’ll just take care of the tea before it over steeps.”

He feels a bit like an idiot and makes to let go immediately, but Harry simply refuses to release his right hand now, expertly serving them tea with only one hand. Gods, he had forgotten just how much of a show off he could be.

And just how much he actually loves him for it.

They’re still holding hands when he finally takes a sip, sighing in surprised contentment at how it tastes and feels just like home.

“Fuck, that’s good.”

“They let me keep my own stash here since I’m a regular patron.”

He makes an inquiring sound, but his lips are still on the edge of the cup, gulping in the familiar scent like he can't the hot liquid held within.

“I come here a few times a week. I’m not short on time to cook, but it’s hard to resist their good food when I live in the flat just above.”

The hint of loneliness when he says it implies that he comes here for more than just the food, but Eggsy respectfully doesn’t mention it.

Even though he wishes it could be otherwise, he’s accepted Harry’s decision to make a clean cut with his old life after Poppygeddon. Besides Merlin, he can’t think of anyone who deserves the peace more.

At the time, it had hurt of course. Still does. Mostly because it means Harry moved halfway across the world. That Eggsy couldn’t just come home from a mission and meet up with him.

But it was the choice that Harry made and it’s not Eggsy’s place to try and change his mind.

After all, staying would have brought its own difficulties, its own hardships.

The important thing is that he’s happy now.

Of that, Eggsy has no doubt, even after spending a mere hour with him. The knowledge fills him with a quiet contentment that acts like a balm for his aching heart.

He’ll never stop dreaming of the many lives they could have shared together, but he still considers himself lucky.

He won’t ever get to call Harry his, but it’s okay.

He had gone through a whole year thinking Harry was dead before his miraculous return among the living. To this day, he’s still not sure how he kept on going.

So between knowing Harry is spending the rest of his days as he pleases and visiting an empty grave, it’s kind of an easy choice for Eggsy.

Before he can think of the million of reasons he shouldn’t, Eggsy raises the hand he’s been holding on all along and bring it close to his lips so he can press a reverent kiss against Harry’s knuckles.

He hears Harry’s sharp intake of breath even over the blood that’s rushing through his ears and drinks in the way Harry’s cheeks turn slightly pink. It feels like a reward for his daring gesture and he doesn’t even try to stop grinning.

“I was thinking-” Harry tightens his grip lightly before continuing, as if he too fears the moment will slip through his fingers if he’s not careful enough, “- I was thinking, you could sleep there tonight, if you don’t have any other arrangements.”

He doesn’t have any and they both know it, or at least, Harry must strongly suspect it, but it doesn’t stop Eggsy from answering.

“I’d like that. A lot.”

It’s a good thing Karen comes back with their order in that exact moment and that the crepe looks absolutely delicious.

Because if it hadn’t been for that, he’s sure Harry would have forgone food entirely and dragged him to his flat so that he could devour him instead.

*

From what he’s seen between the heavy kisses they’ve exchanged on their way to the bedroom, Harry’s flat is pretty nice. A huge living room that’s been divided into a dining room too. A kitchen that seems well furnished. He even thinks he’s seen another door towards the front of the flat that could very well open to a home office.

Quite frankly though, he doesn’t really care about any of it.

What’s important is Harry’s skin under his fingers and his moans in his ears, two things he cannot get enough of.

If it hadn’t defeated the purpose of taking a shower after round four, he would be tempted to see if they can get a sixth round in before sleeping and trying out for morning sex, but even he doesn’t have that kind of stamina. Though he wouldn’t be surprised if Harry does. Not after tonight.

And anyway, if he’s being completely honest, he doesn’t want to give up on their snuggling together.

He’s seen Harry lost to passion a lot in the last few hours, either in this very same bed or in the shower, when washing each other inevitably turned to teasing which in turn led to round five.

But a sleepy Harry, all warm and affectionate… That’s a new first and he wants to commit it to memory.

They’ve been exchanging soft kisses for what must be an hour already, mostly because Eggsy cannot get enough of the feeling of Harry’s beard against his skin. It’s still not a look he would have imagined on Harry in a million years, but that doesn’t make him any less handsome. And Eggsy will have some reminders of just how much he actually likes the beard left on the sensitive skin of his inner thighs for days to come.

But now, exhaustion after what can only be called a sex marathon is finally taking its toll on both of them.

He’ll fight sleep for as long as he can though, unwilling to waste even a second of his time with Harry.

Harry with his bed hair and without his eye patch. His milky white eye is still as blind as it was a year ago, but instead of reminding Eggsy of the ugly way they had left each other before Harry’s brush with death, it’s a reminder that Harry came back. Even if he didn’t stay, even if he’s on the other side of the world, he’s still there, stubborn as ever.

He looks so relaxed now, not so much vulnerable as open. He’s not hiding anything from Eggsy now. He’s stripped down out of his armor and shed all of his masks.

Here, in this quiet moment seemingly out of time itself, he’s simply Harry.

With gentle fingers Harry starts brushing the lines of his face, his touch feather-like. It could be sensual, but Eggsy rather feels like something precious and cherished than the object of Harry’s desire.

Not that he doubts he is all of these things to him.

It’s just that right now, Harry sees him just as Eggsy sees Harry.

Right now, they are simply two men in love.

Harry’s fingers hover above his lips and Eggsy doesn’t resist the temptation to kiss the tips, to lean into the contact.

They haven’t talked since they’ve come back to bed after their shower and there’s still a lot he wants to say, but he knows that right now, were he to open his mouth, there would be only one thing that would leave his lips.

Come back home with me.

But he can’t do that to Harry. He can’t ask him to abandon the life he’s built for himself. Eggsy’s many thing, but selfish isn’t one of them. He can’t ask someone to make a sacrifice he himself is unwilling to make.

Harry’s other hand trails up his arm, tugging gently until Eggsy is lying half on top of him, head tucked under his chin. Before he can let go however, Eggsy grabs at his hand and links their fingers together. In their little cocoon of warmth and affection, he can feel himself losing the battle against sleep, but even then, he wants to hold onto the moment, hold onto Harry.

Morning and the end of this dream will come too soon.

He closes his eyes against the prickle of tears and if Harry feels them rolling over the skin of his throat, he doesn’t say anything.

Much like Eggsy pretends he cannot feel the silent word Harry’s lips are forming against his temple.

Stay.

***

Translation for the french

“C’est sûr que le milieu du chemin c’est la meilleure place où s’arrêter.”

“Sure, the middle of road is the best place to stop.”

“Et qui est ton jeune ami?”

“And who’s your young friend?”

“Karen, je te présente Eggsy.”

“Karen, meet Eggsy.”

“La même chose que d’habitude?”

“The usual?”

“Deux fois, s’il te plaît.”

“Twice, please.”