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[ione-doe]

ione-doe halloween countdown day 9 — watcher world

[snowflake-sage]

I don’t know if I ever posted this or not , it’s from awhile ago

[taranzas-biggest-fan]

Day 3 - Gashes

strong start. on the 3rd day of october. something something spiders a carnivore

[paristandard]

my (very belated oops) half of an art trade with @android-lloyd-webberr!! I got to draw his character Basten

[liesmyth]

my locked tomb hot take of the day is that the way Harrow’s symptoms are presented in HtN line up much more closely with religious OCD with poor insight and psychotic features than schizophrenia. She shows almost no signs of paranoia or delusions (G1deon really was trying to kill her! It’s absolutely true that the other houses would swoop in like vultures if they knew her house’s true position! Her sword and psyche were both actually haunted, to the point that Alecto could hitch a ride in her body. She is never shown in the text to hold a belief that is inconsistent with reality, IMO) and her only true psychotic symptom that we see is hallucinations, and she seems to most of the time have some idea that they aren’t real, which indicates a level of self awareness incompatible with schizophrenia. She also doesn’t seem to display many cognitive symptoms like thought block or disorganized speech and thinking. The rest of her behavior is highly obsessive (compulsive praying, wearing face paint even when nobody is around, obsessive studying, needing her food to be arranged on her plate a certain way) and is very in line with someone suffering from religious scrupulosity. As someone who has experienced both OCD and psychosis, and knows how the symptoms can overlap, this is is the hill I will die on.

I don't feel like I can contribute in any meaningful way to your points, so I'll just put this out into the world and say that I appreciate your insights!

Speaking from a #meta perspective: I know that around the time HtN came out, Tamsyn gave interviews talking about her own experiences being hospitalised for mental health reasons and implied that was what she was partly drawing on when writing HtN. I can't remember if she called Harrow schizophrenic or stated that it was her intention to write her as such, and the author is dead anyway. Plus, obviously, the fact that someone's writing was informed by irl experiences doesn't have to mean that said writing is a 1:1 parallel for those experiences, expecially in a sff setting where ghosts exists and in fact there's something that Harrow can see and nobody else can.

TO ME, the fact that people who experience psychotic episodes can recognise themselves in Harrow's internal monologue and experiences is more meaningful than whether Harrow “really” has a given specific disorder or she's just seeing ghosts. The point is that SHE feels a disconnect from reality and that she's delusional and cannot trust anything she remembers or reads. Nobody in-universe is ever going to diagnose her, you know? The series itself doesn't claim to be straight-up representation for any specific named issues — things like Cytherea's cancer or Harrow's mental state are left ambiguous and partly influenced by magic. I think the fact that readers can relate to some symptoms some characters experience is more meaningful than whether these symptoms all point to something that can be diagnosed unambiguously.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me!

[clownprince]

GUYS GUYSGUYS OH MY GOD. OHMMYGOD I JUST FIGURED SOMETHING OUT

so after joker gets hit by a train solomon gives him this mysterious green liquid. i've been wondering what it was, my first though was maybe there was an undiscovered lazarus pit in the sewers or something like that. but i was rereading task force z and

it's lazarus resin!!!

maybe grundy grabbed a vial when he tackled bloom? but either way that is definitely the same type of vial and the color is similar (not identical but that's likely bc different artists/colorists!)

my running assumption has been that this line was metaphorical but it's not! it's literal!!! joker DID die when he got hit by the train but grundy brought him back with a vial of lazarus resin!

and i've been making mental connections between tfz and tmwsl the entire time but it was kinda theoretical (and still is!) but the lazarus resin thing makes my theories more plausible for sure imo

so in tfz there are clones, amelia, delia, and celia. the powers company has cloning tech. and they also have memory replacement tech!!! that's what they did with the fake bane! they tampered with his memories. the thinker says that he has cognitive profiles of metahumans but in issue 12 bloom manages to resurrect a dead corpse with the powers company resources and make it think that it's jason todd/red hood, who is definitely not a meta, so evidently they have tech to do the same for non-metas

so my theories are that either:

1. they cloned joker and implanted memories in the clone. this could maybe connect to the network plot in the joker (2021)

2. they found a very fresh corpse with a striking resemblance to joker, and then maybe gave him a nice acid bath and implanted the memories (or they found a way to do this with living people)

i think it's highly likely at this point that sewer rat undead!joker is the real joker, especially after knight terrors. so now the question is: if i'm right about this, who's behind the other (LA) joker? harvey? did bloom somehow survive? geri powers? maybe even waller? and what are they up to? is LA joker an escaped experiment or does whoever's controlling him have an agenda?

[3584-tropical-fish]

“Words, like flesh, are food for worms. Today I offer them a feast.”

Day 23: Formal Portrait

[ghost-cat-furry-blog]

bunny girlllll (also cannibal)

[coriander-candlesticks]

Introductions ✨✨

Hey! I'm Coriander. It's not what I go by in my other blogs on here but I want to keep things a bit more separate, at least at first. This is gonna be a long one (sorry) so I'm adding a cut.

I'm exploring Hellenic polytheism, and have only recently started, but it's something I've been considering, in a way, for over a year. I don't have a big, intense story that marks the beginning for me; I didn't necessarily feel a personal, spiritual connection to any of the deities from the time I was a young child in the way others describe, and I haven't had an intense experience that marked the beginning of my path.

I've always felt drawn to Greek mythology, though. I have a distinct memory of laying on my stomach on the floor of the school library in 3rd or 4th grade, reading a picture book about Hades and Persephone. It kept my attention the way others - even Egyptian mythology, another major interest - didn't. I, of course, had the classic queer kid experience of being super into the Percy Jackson series for a while, but my interest in it predated that. The specific deities I've been drawn to have changed somewhat as I've grown up, and they definitely shaped some of my interests. But delving into them again has helped me see connections that weren't explicitly connected to Greek mythology. I felt drawn to Athena growing up, for example, and my love of owls was definitely shaped by that. Even though that has settled into the background somewhat, that connection has persisted in things like my knitting and desires to dye yarn and learn how to weave (side note: I associate crochet more with Apollo, actually, despite it also being a fiber art). I felt connected to Artemis and Persephone as a kid, but that waned as I got older, discovered I was trans, and began my transition. I've felt connected to Hestia and her quiet hearth-keeping since I learned about her: I've always strived to make myself & my space safe and welcoming for others, and being told I succeeded in that is one of the best compliments I've received. But my interests in the morbid (ex Pompeii & the Paris catacombs), psychopomps, rocks & minerals, and keys weren't explicitly related to Hades. Some of the connections didn't click until I started to look into him more seriously about a year ago. I was an artist and had interests in writing, poetry, singing, and playing instruments long before it actually clicked that all of those fell into Apollo's domain, as I associated Athena far more with visual arts as a kid. I also didn't realize that he & Artemis cover diseases (another long-running interest) until very recently. The concept of xenia, too, was something I grew up with to some extent, even though no one called it that. My father modelled it to my siblings and I; I even learned about it within the context of ancient Greece at some point growing up and it stuck with me, despite not knowing the name.

I grew up Mormon, and was incredibly devout until college, when the pandemic forcibly separated me from that environment and I not only discovered that I was queer in several ways, but realized that the Church 1) wasn't safe to stay in and 2) wasn't actually true (which came later, when I started to get over my fear of reading "anti-Mormon literature"). During that period between those two realizations I got into tarot and using plants and crystals for their correspondences (two other interests growing up), as well as using rocks to ground myself. At that time, I considered myself a "liminal Mormon", and was reaching out to Heavenly Mother specifically via tarot. But as it set in that Mormonism specifically, and Christianity generally, wasn't for me, I got more and more interested in modern witchcraft separated from the belief system I was raised in.

It never quite felt right, though. The constant need for protections and doing something "the right way" lest things backfire and you invite the wrong thing into your home, or hurt yourself, or others, or or or, made my anxious & scrupulous brain go into overdrive. I wasn't even sure I believed in it spiritually, or if I was just interested in it from a mindfulness standpoint, and staring down the barrel of comically high piles of research without knowing where to start was exhausting. The concept of dual deities, the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine, put a bad taste in my mouth (which bled over into Persephone for a while because she and Hades are often used to symbolize those archetypes- sorry Persephone). But, not wanting to listen too much to my discomfort (since part of it may have been, and probably was, prior conditioning), I pushed ahead and actually completed one ritual that had all of the steps - cleansing, representations of the four elements and directions, etc. - and was very carefully designed to leave room for growth and change. It represented the start of my path. I still have the jar I made during the ritual, though I'm still trying to figure out what to do with it.

Around that time, I was considering whether or not to work with deities- specifically Hades, as that was who I felt the most drawn to at the time. The idea interested me, but I wasn't sure if it was from an academic or spiritual angle. I'd really only seen deity work from a modern witchcraft/neo-pagan perspective which, again, didn't sit right with me. On top of that, I wasn't quite ready to let go of Christianity even though I already functionally had, and was terrified of doing something "wrong" and getting, for lack of a better term, sent to (figurative) hell. I decided to do a simple "yes/no" tarot pull and got about the clearest "no" you can get: a reversed Ace of Swords. So I decided to let it rest and that, if I ever felt drawn to it again, I could re-approach the topic.

So, for over a year, I didn't touch it. Continuing with witchcraft after the ritual didn't feel right, either, so my altar collected dust while I tried to sort out my spirituality (or lack thereof). I settled on "I don't know and that's okay" and left it at that, trusting that when the time came, and I had more energy and mental space, that I would be able to start looking into things again.

I never truly stopped thinking about the idea of deity work/worship, though. It was always in the back of my mind. I figured it was because of the way I was raised and tried to sever my idea of spirituality from how I was conditioned while I worked through my religious trauma, got on anxiety medication, and learned more about myself and how I interacted with the world (including that I have both ADHD and autism, something that surprised no one).

Recently I talked with a witchy friend about my thoughts on divinity and what is or isn't out there (neither of us were sure but we both felt like there was something), and that conversation gave me the button I needed to start looking into paganism again. I realized at work a week or two later that I could just look up the different paths of paganism (a term I'd recently heard that hadn't clicked before then) and see if there was one that did fit. The first site I found not only had a clear, concise explanation for belief systems I hadn't knowingly come across before, but it touched on Hellenic polytheism and gave a recommendation for someone to watch to learn more about it. And unlike the sharp knot in my chest that warned me away from attending BYU, and going on a mission, and delving further into modern witchcraft as I'd been introduced to it, learning about Hellenic polytheism felt right. It was heavy and grounding and like home. Many of the issues I'd had with other neo-pagan systems - the constant vigilance & protections & concerns over trickster spirits, for example - simply didn't exist there, or were approached very differently. I still had a mental block about it, though, and realized it was because of that tarot pull a year prior. So I did another one, and got a clear "Yes, jump right in. We're waiting for you". And that's where I've been since which, granted, hasn't been for very long. I've felt especially connected to Apollo and Aphrodite recently, who I believe reached out in a different tarot pull recently - using the same card, actually - which is interesting because while I've appreciated different ways Aphrodite has been depicted, I haven't felt very connected to her in a way I realized was her until recently. It makes sense, though- I got into my first relationship around the same time I did that ritual, and not only are we still together a year later, but a trinket I used to ground myself during those first few months is also pretty directly associated with her. I'm planning on adding it to her altar/shrine area as soon as I find it (it's also still amongst the moving wreckage).

But anyway, hi! If you read this far thank you for taking the time out of your day to do so. If anyone has recommendations for books or other educational resources, or discord servers/other online forum-esque communities, please feel free to share. I've been enjoying looking through the tags and getting a feel for the community here, too; hopefully I'm here to stay.

[moonlightperseus]

okay like i want to preface that i do not have anything against the storylines that they are doing, i’m straight vibing with this season, having fun. i just want to say it’s a little frustrating to me that 911 keeps tacking on these buck and/or eddie centric “surprise” scenes at the end of an episode because then it becomes the big talking point of the episode after the fact and a lot of the other stuff that happened in it falls away to the sides a bit

[hiro-of-hyrule]

Consumed by Malice

This started out as a concept art then I kept going oops

[anthonycrowley]

i personally love spiders and let them not only live but just continue chilling in my house if i see one because i’m niceys like that (also we do get bugs a lot so lesser of two evils imo) but today i saw a huge one and was like 😱🥹 hey buddy you just hang out. and then he kept scurrying around right in front of me where i could see him. bestie. why are you testing me.

[tellthatbrokebitch]

another wip wednesday, from my stick season au TW: child abuse

A memory surfaces, and it’s a fucking doozy. There’s no point in fighting it, not when he is where he is, not when he’s going where he’s going, so Mike lets it wash over him.

It’s the summer before senior year, and Mike’s making the drive to Indianapolis to pick up Will from his court-mandated time with his dad, a full month of nothing but texts and the occasional phone call when Lonnie’s out of the house. Lonnie doesn’t like Mike, and Mike fucking hates Lonnie, so to keep the peace, Will does his best to keep them separate. And Mike misses him, misses seeing his face, misses hearing his voice, just misses Will. He had Dustin and Lucas, Max and Jane, but it just wasn’t the same without Will. Going to the pool wasn’t the same without Will splashing gross public pool water in his face. Hanging out in his basement wasn’t the same without Will there to cheat shamelessly at every single game they played. Walking through the mall wasn’t the same without Will, going to the theater wasn’t the same without Will, getting ice cream at Scoops Ahoy! wasn’t the same without Will. It was all just… bullshit.

So when Will had specifically requested that Mike come pick him up, when normally Joyce or Jonathan would be making the drive instead, he’d immediately agreed. When he’d received the text early that very morning, asking Mike if he’d mind, butterflies had erupted in Mike’s stomach and he’d jumped at the chance to see Will again before everyone else. Two hours of uninterrupted Mike-and-Will time, without having to share his best friend? Of course he didn’t mind. It was the longest drive Mike had ever attempted by himself, but armed with an energy drink and a bag of gummy worms, it went by pretty quickly, especially once he dug out his CD case and got some tunes playing.

When he pulled up to Lonnie’s ugly-ass house, Will was already waiting on the porch with his bag. He quickly stood and slung the bag over his shoulder and was halfway to the car before Mike could decide whether to shut off the engine or not. It wasn’t surprising that Will didn’t want to linger; he hated these visits, hated his dad, hated the way being around his dad made him feel.

Mike understood that feeling all too well, though at least his dad was just an asshole and not an Asshole.

So when Will slides into the passenger seat without saying a word, Mike immediately pulls out of the driveway and heads back the way he came. The tense atmosphere in the car also isn’t surprising, nor is the silence, but when they’ve put a couple miles between them and Lonnie, and Will still hasn’t said a word, Mike can’t help the quick glance to his right.

And luckily they’re alone pulling up to a stop sign, so when his foot slams a little too hard on the brake, all it does is jerk the car to an abrupt stop.

“What-”

“It’s fine.” And Mike can’t decide whether that makes him want to scream or cry, because one of Will’s eyes is swollen shut and purple and there’s a matching bruise on his jaw, and it is very obviously not fine.

“Will-”

“Seriously, Mike, it’s - what are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m going back to kill that fucking asshole.”

“No, you’re not. Look, I’m fine-”

Mike barks an incredulous laugh. “Yeah, I’m fucking looking, Will. That’s the goddamn problem. Because it looks like Lonnie beat the shit out of you.” Despite his words, he turns left onto a new street and parks in front of a random house.

He turns to face Will fully, and it looks worse head-on. He’s not sure what his own face is doing, but it makes Will sigh.

It just looks wrong. And Mike’s been there through it all, okay, he’s seen Lonnie-bruises on Will before; on arms, legs, chest, and back - even once, memorably, on the nape of his neck, the shape of fingertips. But even Lonnie was smart enough to avoid the face… or at least, he was. And Mike hates it, has always hated it every time, seeing those marks, blooming red and purple and black, fading over time to blue and green and yellow, has hated every single rainbow bruise that marred that pretty tanned skin.

It doesn’t make his friend’s face any less beautiful, but it’s introduced something to those pretty brown eyes, something that dulls their shine and leaves them looking flat and empty. It twists something in Mike’s gut, something ugly that makes him want to go through with his threats and murder the man who’d done this.

Instead, he takes a deep breath to calm that rage. Will doesn’t need more anger right now. Will needs him to be calm. Once he feels ready, he clears his throat and asks, quietly, “What happened?”

Will fiddles with his cellphone, which he notices has a large crack in the screen. “He found out,” he says.

“Found out?”

“That I’m gay.”

“Oh. Shit. How?”

The grip on his phone tightens. “He went through my phone. Saw some texts where I’d mentioned it, asking Lucas for advice on… something. It wasn’t difficult to figure out who or what I was talking about.”

Does Will have a crush on someone? He pushes the intrusive thought away and focuses on the conversation. “Fuck. How did he react?”

Will snorts. “Badly. Woke me up and slammed me against the floor. Punched me, obviously. I fought back.” He grins, though it’s a pale imitation of its former glory. “I got him back, though. Kicked his balls up into his throat.”

Mike wants to return the grin, even feels his lips twitching up in the beginnings of a smile, but then the thought of it, the mental image of Will at the mercy of his homophobic piece of shit father wipes any trace of mirth from his face. “Is this why you asked me to pick you up? Because I hate to break it to you, babe, but your mom and Jonathan are definitely going to notice.”

“What? I mean, kind of. I wanted to avoid a fight. But that’s not - I missed you. Of course I missed you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Of course.”

[big-dick-moneybags]

chris chan is back on youtube and people who listened to a 70+ episode podcast dissecting every single aspect of this person’s life and possibly made replicas of the sonichu necklace are somehow surprised this happened.

[teethcore]

you know. i was feeling bad today, convinced myself i was exaggerating everything and they probably didn't actually hurt me at all, and maybe i was just trying to make up things to be upset about. but then they violated a small boundary that i've expressed over and over again to them and when i pointed it out, it sparked a tense convo, which escalated to them pulling the "because i'm stupid and can't do anything right." then they yelled at me to not help them when i brought a tupperware over for their leftovers. now they're in the car "just to sit," but they brought the keys, which is the kind of thing they do every time we argue (that is, a gesture that implies they're not safe or they're on the verge of doing something impulsive to hurt themself). so at the very least there's definitely emotional abuse happening. right? that's what that is. am i crazy?

[nuvomica]

Fam like this has zero hate in it but how is gender affirming surgery any different from the ones you hate? It's literally purging the parts of your body that you or society can't accept and it's kind of just as devastating and sad. I agree with you that people should do whatever they want with their body but also like it's kind of awful to see someone suffer so much that they have to go to surgical solutions.

This is why it's so interesting to me!! And this post is super rambly with no clear answer because I'm me and I'm learning all the time!!!!!!

Your opinion is yours, but it is super interesting that upon the topic of surgery, your mind goes to 'purging the parts you hate'. Gender affirming surgeries aren't always 'cosmetic', aren't always found through suffering. Who am I to draw lines and cast aspersions? To me, it feels like as much of a grey area as most debates are, especially as I try to stay aware of my own inherent biases vs my personal issues with gender and appearance.

For example, breast surgeries. Done to combat cancer. Reductions because of back pain. Reductions for convenience. Implants for gender affirmation (for trans and cis ppl). Implants because of previous medical reductions. Or literally any number of reasons.

At what level is it 'okay' to get something done, if in my opinion, there is a level of 'not okay' at all? 'Okay' being a loose term as it is, because I certainly don't mean morally, but as a point of, say, condemning societal pressures on people. It would be presumptuous of me to ever look at something someone does for themself and say, "well that's not okay."

Is convenience a medical reasons or a cosmetic reason? Or is it neither. Is it that there is not enough clothing and aid out there for someone who is inconvenienced by large breast size? Is it that there isn't any clothing that fits cutely, that t-shirts stretch, that lingerie doesn't come in that size? Or is it inconvenient enough that it either causes their back to ache if they're too active for too long or with chronic pain that doesn't ease at all?

What about those who get surgery on their tubes or uterus, not for 'medical' reasons, but for comfort? For taking control back? For (here it is again) convenience? For gender transitioning? How could I ever hate a surgery like that?

Meanwhile, in my personal view, seeing someone get a nose job for purely cosmetic reasons is sad to me. Why did they feel they have to do that? What sort of pressure have they face throughout their life to take them to that point? But what right do I have to judge? None, other than that I am a part of the same society that made them feel their nose was not acceptable. I do not have a broad, hooked, high bridged, or flat bridged nose, so what standing do I have to judge at all?

What about someone who loves plastic surgery as they love art? For whom body modification is a joy, or as I said before, is about control. Should I be pitying them? I don't, right up until they change something I personally view as 'sad' to change. Isn't that strange? Where did I find this moral high ground from which to look down and feel pity? What arbitrary measure have I developed for what parts of the body are 'sad' to alter?

I wouldn't go up to a stranger in public and say, "I'm so sorry you got your nose done." So why do I feel comfortable pitying the actress who had a face lift? (Rhetorical, I know the objectification of celebrities is a core reason here, but it serves my point).

It goes further. At what point is a surgery 'just' a body mod? Someone getting an ear piercing to combat headaches or allergies. Someone getting their ears or genitalia taken off so they just have a hole. Someone gets bottom surgery. Someone getting their earlobe pierced. Someone getting their eyebrows tattooed because theirs don't naturally suit their gender expression 'right'. Someone getting the name of a loved one on their arm. Someone getting laser hair removal. Someone getting their eyeball tattooed. Getting their incisors capped to points. Veneers. Tongue splits. Acrylic nails. My view is already biased by a Eurocentric upbringing and the conservative nature of my town, so.

With my own biases, I do feel a hate for buccal fat removal. I do feel a hate for cosmetic nose jobs. I do feel a hate for brow lifts. I do feel a hate for hair transplants. I won't deny that. You're right, I do feel shitty that gender is so ingrained in appearance and the value therein that trans ppl can feel so devastatingly unhappy about their own bodies. At the same time, I don't feel someone getting top or bottom surgery is 'wrong' in doing so, and I do not pity them.

Oh not to even bring up teeth. This debate starts all over again at teeth. Cosmetic, comfort, medical.

My original post and my continued thoughts are never a condemnation of the individual undergoing a surgery, only on the pressures of industry and society. It's my frustrations with sexism, racism, transphobia, and fatphobia.

Gender affirming surgeries happen all the time for cis people, including very invasive ones, and I just want to be extra aware of the hypocrisy and more intense scrutiny towards trans people getting similar surgeries, you know? Especially as someone who experiences dysmorphia but not gender dysphoria.

It just comes down to all these questions, and then further still down to personal philosophy. As is the case for most of my personal philosophies, I find it hard to make blanket statements set in stone, because there's always context. There's always further understanding to be gained, if not in my own, then in hearing of how others understand.

What right do I have to feel sad? To hate?

Where is the defining line between cosmetic, comfort, and medical, if there is one?