#<-reasons why its so funny when THEYRE the one teased

[toestalucia]

dude i lov valentines

[pansy-picnics]

I really want to say this somewhere but honestly, my favorite part of Varigo is that it can really go both ways.

Like they have that soft fluffy thing going for them with that first love energy and it’s absolutely adorable in whatever it’s done with. And very believable.

But then they can also have this side where these two hate each other, but they want to MAKE OUT SO BAD IT HURTS TO WATCH. Like major enemies to lovers vibes and it’s very believable.

Maybe it’s just because Hugo technically never existed but any dynamic that any fanfic or art gives them just MAKES SENCE TO ME.

they are enemies AND lovers……... it is the funniest thing to me tbh i cannot see them being super lovey-dovey all the time after they get together, like its not that they AREN’T sickeningly in love, it’s just that they can flip between that and calling each other ugly whores within 5 seconds and they’re completely unfazed. as funny as it is i personally think it’s because at their core they are both kids who were forced to grow up too fast, and they bring out each others inner child in a way…. cuz like, their rivalry/hatred for each other has never been, in any way, Reasonable or Mature

hugo was suspicious when they met, sure, but i don’t think thats really why varian disliked him- i think that’s just the reason he used to justify it in his head. Really he just thought hugo was cool as fuck and he was really mad about being outshined on HIS coming of age quest. like. HE’S the main character bro. Who does this blonde bitch think he is. Goddamn. /j

and….Hugo was the same way lol. like despite his awful circumstances and all the angst going on in his head he only initially antagonized varian because he was a 19 year old boy and wanted to look cool and act like he knew everything. THEIR WHOLE RIVALRY WAS SO CHILDISH! AND THATS WHATS SO SPECIAL ABOUT IT I FEEL CUZ….NEITHER OF THEM HAVE EVER REALLY HAD THAT BEFORE.

ITS EXACTLY WHAT YOU SAID!! it’s that they’re each others first love…but they are also simultaneously each other’s first best friend and also each other’s first Enemy. Neither of them have REALLY done any of that before like ever. varian had friends but he’s never had friends HIS AGE, yk? its completely new for both of them, each for separate reasons, and because of that they are both acting like stupid fucking 12 year olds about it.

even after they get together i think the core of their dynamic is that….they were kind of each other’s (incredibly belated) childhood best friend. and they will always be best friends first and foremost Yk? they bring out each others inner child. it’s why even when they’ve been married for 40 years they tease each other like theyre two middle schoolers fighting on the school bus over pokemon cards. its why they always know exactly how to make the other laugh or cheer them up after a long day. they know EXACTLY how to push each others buttons but they also know when is too far, which is why they can just say the most vile things to each other without even hesitating because they KNOW they don’t gaf. They share one braincell together but they’re also both genius mad scientists so they COULD take over the world together if they wanted to but they’re too busy playing jenga with glass beakers in their pajamas at 2 pm. Idk. They need to be shot.

[mushiewrites]

boxers🤤🥊 if you want to talk about boxing im your gal!!!! 

with the upcoming match, sapnap needs to train duhhh and on his first day hes super super confident.

macho sapnap strides into the dteam home gym but dream and george very quickly destroy his confidence and remind him he is not the top dog lmao. 

the gloves give such good indication of where exactly dream needs to grab his wrists - theyre like big red signs screaming ‘look at whats below us look at how small these wrists are in comparison he has no chance!!’ dream might even tease him about the gloves, speaking into his ear from behind ‘oh theres no way my hands would fit in those! theyre far too big, unlike yours’ 

i totally agree with george taking advantage of sapnaps (really sensitive😵‍💫) ribs. its even worse than usual tho bc sapnap cant wriggle off the gloves OR flex his fingers fully to relieve some tension and it makes him feel crazy. 

maybe when he gets out he gets really mad and starts swinging at george. dream laughs while george is like ‘help me dream hes gonna hit me!!!!!’

an actual boxer au where sapnap is in an interview and dnf crash it to be like ‘yeah we’re his bffs that train with him and we have a very interesting routine! it focuses mainly on endurance wink wink’

now… youre telling me a strong scary boxer with one hell of an arm and a mean scowl buckles like a daisy under even the slightest bit of tickling um do you genuinely promise??????!!!!!

sapanp would be so screwed in a pin tho (not manifesting that for the fight😭😭 just like in general) yeah he has reasonable strength and is probably good at movement like dodging and positioning but in a pin he freaks the f out ‘oh my god i cant move this is it for me why is all my strength gone’ and then you add TICKLING??? i think it just might kill him… idk theres really only one way for dream and george to find out 🙈

dream laughs at him and thinks boxing is easy so sapnap challenges him to take his place but when dream does he gets tickled to tears as well… not so easy huh :/

george doesnt go near them for the next few days for fear of tight boxing gloves being shoved over his ‘already pretty useless in a fight’ hands. 

its so funny seeing videos of him where he makes little slaps like a cat as his way of fighting😭 also having been part of the gang up effort on both dream and sapnap he knows the payback is going to be brutal. 

(btw, dont imagine sapnap losing it bc he doesnt know if hes going to have his sides squeezed over his shirt or under his shirt, so he just has to stare at georges hands and wait…)

this is so random lol hii mushie

I might’ve gotten a little bit carried away…

anyway. rambling under the cut

No bc we all know that sapnap is cocky af always, regardless of if he’s unevenly matched or not, so it’s no surprise when he drags dream and george into the home gym with 100% confidence that he’ll beat both of them easily. But when he’s suddenly cornered by the two of them, he’s scrambling to rip his gloves off so he has an opportunity to at least try and fight back

this only draws attention to them, and dream’s wrapping his hands over the velcro around sapnap’s left wrist before he even realizes what’s happening. dream tugs him roughly, spinning sapnap around and crowding him from behind, and most importantly, grabbing sapnap’s free wrist. now, dream is towering over him from behind, stretching sapnap’s arms into the air and leaning in so his stubble brushes against sapnap’s ears as he teases him about how small he is; about how powerless he is “What are those, kids sized gloves?” “i didnt know they made boxing equipment for toddlers!” “why is your face so red, sap?”. and while dream focuses on making his face warm up to a dangerous degree, the only thing in sapnap’s view is a very giggly george, standing just inches in front of him. he’s suddenly very aware of how tiny he is between them, and sap’s mind blanks at the thought. he swallows thickly and does the only think he can think to do

Sapnap starts begging, pleading, both cursing and proclaiming his love for them at the same time - anything he can think of to get them to back down. But instead george reaches an arm out and pokes into sapnap’s lower ribs on the right, making him jolt into george’s waiting hand on the other side that sapnap hadn’t noticed before. The two laugh along with sapnap’s squeals as he wiggles back and forth between george’s hands, making the pokes a little more harsh each time his hands connect with sap’s body. his hands are balled into fists inside the boxing gloves, tightening at every quick jab into his ribs. But when sapnap tries to flex his fingers to dispel even the tiniest bit of ticklish energy he’s experiencing, he finds that he can’t, and he panics even more through his frantic giggles. George starts to scratch and squeeze at the warm skin under sapnap’s shirt, right along his sides, but only every few times, driving him insane at the idea of not knowing when the tickling is suddenly gonna get so much worse. sap tries to keep his eyes open long enough to watch george’s hands, trying to anticipate the next move, but his lil puffy cheeks get in the way from laughing too hard, and he fails miserably.

At this point, dream and george are teasing him, but sapnap has no idea what they’re saying. Dream has sapnap’s arms lifted so high into the air that he’s basically balancing on the toes of his sneakers, and george is rubbing his knuckles into sapnap’s ribs with a force so hard he thinks he sees god. Eventually, sapnap is kind of just dangling there, laughing deliriously as george so lovingly tears him apart, so dream loops his forearms under sapnap’s biceps, shifting positions and holding him up that way, making it almost easier for george to continue his reign of terror on sapnap’s poor lil ribs ):

(…also the whole “in a pin he freaks the f out 'oh my god i cant move this is it for me why is all my strength gone' and then you add TICKLING??? i think it just might kill him... idk there’s really only one way for dream and george to find out” thing wtf i’ve been thinking about this wording nonstop for days…….anon…….pls anon……..anyway...)

By the time they let him go, sapnap’s face is drenched in tears and sweat, his hair is stuck to his forehead, he’s bright red, and he’s mad (well, he pretends he is. In reality, he actually loved every minute of his torture <3). He starts swinging at whoever is closest to him, who happens to be george, and george is cackling, running away from him and hiding behind dream, still egging sapnap on even as dream is holding him back from literally ripping george to shreds.

When sapnap calms down, dream teases him playfully, poking at him and making fun of how “small and pathetic” he looked getting wrecked to pieces in the boxing gloves. So sapnap challenges him to take his place. dream grabs his boxing gloves from one of his long lost hobbies many moons ago and lets sap get into position behind him. Sapnap wraps his arms around dream’s elbows, pulling them closer together so that dream’s arms are pinned behind his back, and successfully pushing out dream’s torso because of their awkward height difference. George doesn’t give him the chance to balance himself.

his hands are immediately under dream’s shirt, skittering over the center of his tummy and making dream stumble back against sapnap, almost bringing the two of them down to the ground. Sapnap repositions them, and in retaliation george starts to lightly pull at the bottom edge of dream’s bellybutton with his pointer finger, keeping his free hand skittering along the lower part of his tummy as he did so. And when george still wasn’t satisfied with the level of desperation in dream’s laughter, he leaned down and started nibbling into the dip of dream’s waist, sending him into hysterics. Apparently the combo proves to be too much for dream, because his knees completely give out, and in less than five minutes, the big scary ler is a crumpled lil mess of giggles and tears on the gym mat floor. He apologizes profusely to sapnap in exchange for mercy <3

now…George is the weakest of them all, and he knows it, so he darts out of the gym immediately after dream falls to the ground. He hides from them for the rest of the night, knowing they’re both undoubtably planning his demise - he’s the one who tickled the life out of both of them, afterall. So, of course, the next day he’s on edge around them. wincing whenever one of them brushes their hand along his back when they walk by him, or when they creep up on him from behind, just having fun with the anticipation of it all. And the worst part? having to listen to the two talk about him like he’s not even there. “Can you imagine george in that position? He’d never survive!” “No, he definitely wouldn’t. You’ve seen how useless he is when he’s tickled normally, what’s he gonna do when he’s completely helpless?”. and it builds for daaaays, until george is about to be super brave and ask them outright to wreck him, to just get it over with, but decides against it. He knows better.

they bombard him a week later, though, after george is practically vibrating with nerves and going crazy with anticipation. they hold him down against the mats, kneeling on either side of george. they each take a hand, shoving a boxing glove onto each one as george fights them the entire time. after they finally secure them, dream and sapnap dig into the muscles of george’s ribs and inner thighs until he’s screaming, crying, pleading, begging, banging his useless little fists into the ground (and into dream and sapnap) as hard as he can <3

also i couldn’t ignore the au mention……the thing you wrote about dnf crashing an interview and talking about how they train with sapnap without saying it……….can you imagine the blushy cheeks? the way he’d pull the brim of his hat down to cover his face as he got more and more shy the more dnf talked about it?????? the lil breathy giggles and pleads for them to drop it???? and no one would understand but the three of them, and dnf would push it as far as they could bc theres nothing they love more than seeing sap squirm (and of course sap gets them both back tenfold after the interview <3)

[devine-fem]

I love Lizzie with Jon and Damian. I am really enjoying their short stories. What are your head canons about the first time they took care of her and how did they end up being a little family.

heres some funny ones

damian gets jon all week and jon gets her on the weekends but a lot of the times they are together theyre fighting over jon not being around that much and how damian has to do everything

jon calling damian “dame” meaning pretty lady, or wife but also sounds like his name

jon upright calling damian “wife” which he does so much that damian doesnt fight it anymore

and jon ends up doing this in front of someone and it becomes hella awkward

trinity draws on the walls

trinity will break anything she gets her hands on, like anything, a super strength kid is a hassle

trinity thinks cursing sounds cute for some reason and thats how she got in trouble at school

trinity DEFINITELY is a warrior cats kid and damian gets her at least one book each time hes out because he thinks if their money has to be spent on trinity at least hes unlike jon and using it for literacy

trinity drawing a “my family” picture with crayons and her teacher being confused why she drew superman and batman

trinity thinks if she puts her teeth under her pillow that martain manhunter will come and take them to mars in exchange for space rocks

jon is the baseball watching, chair lounging, beer drinking type of husband but instead of baseball its watching superhero news

damian would actually do three cycles of ramadan back to back then let jon cook

jon is more terrifed of scary movies than trinity

imagine dick teasing damian, “hows the commen law?” or “how was the honeymoon?”

trinity being like “i hate when mommy and daddy fight” 😭😭

jon having to do the earmuffs thing to trinity when damian is mad and cursing

damian treats the legion of superheroes like its like jon’s secret mistress or something

trinity loves those little car shopping carts at the supermarket

damian tries to discipline trinity but jon will literally let trinity have her way 24/7 behind his back but if trinity betrays jon in an argument with damian, jon will never fail to use that against her

“i got you gumballs and washaway tattoos at the supermarket, how could you?”

damian will hover over jon doing every chore to make sure he’s doing it right

thank you for the ask. lmao



[https-dollnini]

ᴢʙ1 ᴀꜱ ꜱᴀɴʀɪᴏ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀꜱ

Summary: My thoughts on what sanrio characters zb1 would be based off of their personality

Author Note: Was feeling a little silly and thought this was a good idea (I'm also a fat sanrio fan so this is very self indulgent)

ᴋɪᴍ ᴊɪᴡᴏᴏɴɢ ᴀꜱ ᴋᴜʀᴏᴍɪ

both of them look tough on the outside but are secretly sweet on the inside

defo people that pretend they listen to hard rock and then cry themselves to sleep with a ballad instead

the most misunderstood :(

but that means their also the ones to always include people and would rather die than make someone feel left out

i feel like the reason why i felt like jiwoong and kuromi matched the most in my head is because of how enigmatic and mysterious their personalities are made out to be

but trust that my man is a true softie at heart

ᴢʜᴀɴɢ ʜᴀᴏ ᴀꜱ ᴍʏ ᴍᴇʟᴏᴅʏ

do you see how coquette this man is

this paring is literally why i made this whole post

defo see my melody as a kind and gentle person

with hao as mother, everything in my head just clicked

the most calm and collected out of all of zb1, but that's probably just because he's an introvert in a room full of extroverts

also think that they both have such a strong liking for cute and pink things

mans literally said his favorite colour is pink

this pairing can not be any more perfect than it already is

ꜱᴜɴɢ ʜᴀɴʙɪɴ ᴀꜱ ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴋɪᴛᴛʏ

you can not convince me that hanbin isn't main character coded

this is his world and we're just living in it

both of them have so many friends its insane, and are defo more on the talkative side

also feel like both of them are very dramatic

like have you seen this man every single time something mildly suprising happens

hes shocked to the core, on the floor, disgusted, making the weirdest facial expressions known to man

ALSO LOOK AT HOW CUTE BOTH OF THEM ARE

i rest my case

ꜱᴇᴏᴋ ᴍᴀᴛᴛʜᴇᴡ ᴀꜱ ᴘᴏᴍᴘᴏᴍᴘᴜʀɪɴ

the embodiment of a puppy

both of them are very playful and energetic in the cutest way possible

like have you seen this mans natural aegyo

they also spread positivity absolutely everywhere they go

like its oozing out of them

i refuse to believe that matthew has ever cried because when you have a smile like that why would you ever do anything other than show it off????

can you tell i like his smile...

ᴋɪᴍ ᴛᴀᴇʀᴀᴇ ᴀꜱ ᴘᴇᴋᴋʟᴇ

i was seriously debating between whether putting him or yujin as cinnamoroll bcs in my head yujin kinda fit pochacco too

BUT then i remembered that pekkle. is. a. duck!?!?!?

that literally solved all my internal conflict

LOOK AT THEMMMMMMMM

both soft hearted to the core

also a little sassy but i think we expected that

i did a little research and apparently pekkle is really good at singing and dancing

literally so many similarities

matching them together is a canon moment in my life

ꜱʜᴇɴ Qᴜᴀɴʀᴜɪ ᴀꜱ ᴄʜᴏᴄᴏᴄᴀᴛ

honestly this is less about personality and more about appearance

chococat being a black cat is so perfect that i had absolutely no choice but to give it to ricky

AND YOU SEE THAT STRAWBERRY PHONE CASE IN THE PICTURE?!?!?

as a strawberry enthusiast i think that ricky would approve

moving on, i think he's a playful and funny character

defo looks cold at first but once you warm up to him you see how he pays attention to the little details

lovelicky fr

ᴋɪᴍ ɢʏᴜᴠɪɴ ᴀꜱ ᴋᴇʀᴏᴘᴘɪ

look at this man and tell me he's not keroppi coded

sososososo cheerful and bright

he's literally one of he main mood makers of the group

also very mischievous too

i mean look at him teasing ricky every 3 seconds or annoying yujin with his love

and maybe this is the inner delulu speaking but i also think he actually looks like keroppi?!?!?

someone pls agree with me or ill cry no i really will

ᴘᴀʀᴋ ɢᴜɴᴡᴏᴏᴋ ᴀꜱ ᴛᴜxᴇᴅᴏ ꜱᴀᴍ

ik this is kind of a weird one

but you need to understand the vision

i feel like theyre both HUGE nerds (in the best way possible)

like you know how gunwook always sprouts random facts, or goes into a rant about information that no normal person would know???

yeah. thats what i mean.

i also feel like they're both really laid back people that love to enjoy the moment they're in to the fullest

i will continue pushing this agenda until everyone is brainwashed to agree with me

ʜᴀɴ ʏᴜᴊɪɴ ᴀꜱ ᴄɪɴɴᴀᴍᴏʀᴏʟʟ

we all saw this coming

so baby

thats all i have to say

literally just shy little cuties trying to make their way through life the best they can

once they warm up to you though...

they genuinely can't shut up

will say the weirdest things at the weirdest times for absolutely no reason

but they get a free pass because LOOK AT THEM OML IM GONNA DIE

the way i can see yujin using the excuse "i'm just a boy"

he is, just a shy, cute, menace of a kid

[highoncatfood]

SHIP BINGO TIME

Gonna ask for three cuz I can't pick... teehee

Kokogami, Makoyomi, and umm Dirkuu (my friend talks to me about dirkuu a lot it seems fun)

answering these finally hiiii i went to bed and then had work today so uh yeah

kokogami - now let me explain a few things here.. i checked both 'grew on me' and the big bad 'IDCCC' cuz truthfully i couldnt care less abt it esp in canon idgaf and the 1st few times i rewatched raincode they jst frustrated me sm as a pairing. like at first it was jst me being a shini hater but even after i started to like her more i jst canntttt get myself to like them in any romantic scenerio. but i do love how ppl in the fandom portray them a lot and all the fanart is very cute so i guess wht i mean when i say it grew on me is that ive come to like it more cuz of fanon :thumbsupemoji:

makoyomi - ok so like. when i first watched raincode and saw them interact for the 1st time i was like ok yeah. i see why this is one of the biggest ships in the fandom. and normally i would ship it right away but for some reason i consciously decided to do everything in my power to not let myself ship it. i dont rememeber whyyyy?? i did that?? i think i jst thought that would be rlly funny to like. me and no one else

but anyway with each rewatch i grew to like them more + fandom influenced me. but like i still wouldnt say i ship them.. i like their dynamic but i dont care for it as any kind of romantic/whtever ship neccessairly.. its mostly jst very funny to me. i rlly like yomi having a weird complicated hate crush on makoto and having no idea how to deal with it . like it doesnt even cross his mind to rlly consider it anything possibly romantic or sexual even tho it lowkey might be. who knows. hes jst mad abt it

and i like makoto acting oblivious as shit to it on purpose jst to mess with him even further, i like makoto teasing and bugging him and jst being so fucking annoying. they both r

this tweet is exactly how im tryna be abt them but like. on purpose. idk why its liek the funniest thing ever to me

dirkuu - havent thought abt them for a while but i mean. theyre hilarious i love caliborn and i love dirk . theyre jst stupid as fuck and i love all the fanart of them its like some of my fav pieces of hs fancontent probably.. yeah not much else to say abt it lol

[tojiscrack]

Omg lol this is my first time interacting with anyone on Tumblr since I just joined, but I've been a BIG fan of liar liar since chapter...5? Not as in I didn't like the first ones, just that I also only joined ao3 kinda recently :)

I am ABSELOUTY OBSESSED with LL, like the way that the chatacters have bits of canon in them? Their relationships with yn? Porcupines relationship with yn?! Mercupine?! Amazing. Chefs kiss.

It's my literal favourite fanfic buuuut it's tying with a few others because I'm really bad at deciding. BUT ITS SO GOOD AHDKSKJSKDK.

Is it bad that I kinda ship mermotionless 😑🧜‍♀️? Obviously it's not better than mercupine, but kamo with Eren Jaegers hair?! 😍🤤 100% would date. But he's getting in the way of mercupine so...😡

Gah I've spent wayyy too long wondering what's going to happen wen the angst starts angsting but I'm a BIT of a delulu girly so my theories end up spiralling out of control. 😅

Ok but I feel like as kamo and yn spend more time together, yn gradually likes him, and they date. And our lovely little porcupine isn't exactly great woth figuring out his feelings until now (except for that one chapter where (correct me if I'm wrong) he hugs yn and gojo teases him about it? Idk) but obviously he does NOT like kamo, and mermotionless?! He would go into a coma.

SO then porcupine(yes that's all I refer to him as) is like 'ohhh I like yn. Damn.' and he hates kamo even MORE and because yn is dating kamo, it gets a bit awkward between porcupine and her 😭😢. So theyr gradually stop being friends but I feel like yn would NOT do that she'd be acting normal while porcupine is all awkward and moody and angry whatever. And THIS IS WHERE OT GETS DELULU OK. Ok maybe not that delulu bit still.

THEN yn confronts porcupine because he's acting weirdly, even for him. And ofc she doesn't know why she's way too clueless 😮‍💨. And porcupine gets all angry because she doesn't realise why, and they get into a fight and stop being friends😭😭😭😭😭. BUT mermotionless BREAKUP for reasons I have not come up with yet and then ✨MERCUPINE✨

aha anyways stop I literally love Malakai (kai) so much argh I just wanna put him in the pocket of my black jumper and give him a little black blanket and run away he's so cute 🥰. The Malakai (kai) ships are interesting 🤔 but funny nonetheless.

And gojo fathering? I literally die laughing anytime I imagine yn on gojos shoulders with the faceapp on porcupine on her poster😭😂😂.

Urgh I would totally draw some LL related stuff but I need to study for my test tmr (I'm cooked) and I have a big drawing project. I probably won't start with mercupine tho, I'm a bit afraid of messing up their personalities 😅. But I just have the overwhelming urge to draw maki and Mai when they were kids in their little puffer jackets (pls tell me this actually happened and I'm not schitzofrenic) and I CANT FIND THAT SCENE I'm genuinely concerned that I'm just making things up in my mind

Also lol, im a big c.ai user (not on a freaky way) but would it be ok if I made some bots from LL? I think I'll keep them on private or only used with the link, but I just really love all the characters. I wouldn't copy paste ofc but I'd probably keep the dialogue the same :) and if I do decide to make them available with the like I'll probably (definitely) share with you:)

I swear I had more to talk about... let me think 😖 nvm I can't think of it 😭 OH WAIT I REMEMBER ahhhh good luck with your uh, uh, whatever exams you were studying for i can't remember 😭

I'll be waiting for the next chapter good luck 🤞🙂🧜‍♀️🦔😈😈

i lowkey have a headache so i’m reading and responding to this as fast as i can, i apologise if i sound like i’m slowly desiccating 💀

i’m glad you’re enjoying the story so far! <3 mercupine’s relationship is one i took great care to get down as accurately as i could imagine megumi being in an almost-relationship, kinda 😭

it is nawtttt bad that you lowkey ship mermotionless. you’re not with the 2% of the LL readers who like them together 😀

being delulu is literally the solulu in this area 😋 nothing is impossible here we literally have 100% of the characters living their best lives in this verse

i read that whole prediction/theory with a blank face 😭 no one’s gone that far in their prediction before! like usually it’s a small scene they predict, or a small prompt, not an entire storyline hahaaa

we’ll see how right or wrong you are tho 👀

you’re also the second kai lover i’ve seen 😋

putting him in a pocket would be difficult ‘cause he’d put up a dramatic fight about it. the black blanket might work tho… good thinking 😭👍🏽

gojo fathering is my fav thing in the world tooooo, like i love that man sm and i love his canon-relationships with his students. i just tweaked it so he’s more like a father to them than just a teacher, but we won’t rinse the idea out, otherwise it’ll just get overbearing and that is the LAST thing we want 😭

girl study for ur examssss, don’t stay up reading LL. i’d die inside if someone failed ‘cause of me 😤

and you can absolutely make bots on c.ai from LL! i think that’d be super cool!

you’re not schizophrenic, there was a scene with maki and mai as kids in their puffer jackets. check elementary school, the scene where mc’s mum is taking them and megumi and y/n to school <3

[yuukei-yikes]

Vinnie may we have some marry hcs please? I think i kin her and shes been a big fave of mine wah

awesome choice, mary is great!!! sadly i cant rly think of anything i havent already said at one point.... like i love mary, but she's not the character i think of the most

a cute one. since mary doesnt need to eat to survive and i think its rly funny she's only introduced to the concept of eating when moving in with mekatrio, mary cooking.... it would be SO BAD. like this isnt an original hc or anything but like she's rly that bitch creating fires out of NOWHERE.

since her and momo are bfffs and momo's cooking and tastes are. special. they make a lot of abominations together completely unsupervised and it's so bad. do it at momo's house bc both are banned from kido's kitchen and shintaros in his room like Why do i smell burning

i think mary doesnt care for eating and rather enjoys sitting at the table bc she feels included :) mostly wants to cook as a way to show love. eventually gets more into baking than cooking bc its cuter♥️♥️♥️ but everything is always SO nasty you know how it is with baking. its very easy to mess up and everywhere u can mess up, mary messes up. and burns many things.

but she's always looking forward to giving the dan her cupcakes and all that :((( and kido and kano are super prone to teasing but seto is there looking at them like EAT THE DAMN CUPCAKE so theyre like (shiver) then momo wholeheartedly enjoys them because she's insane and the rest is also pretending so hard bc mary seems so excited and she's so sweet. everyone gets sick after

my hcs of her that ive talked abt before include her having a service animal or emotional support animal and its a doggy. bc of her social anxiety and ptsd/hallucinations. and that she and seto are building their own house from scratch like tsukihiko did :3

i also think mary gets her legal identity sorted out post str bc she obviously doesnt have any documents regarding who she is LMAOO and if she's integrating society she's gonna need it... takane helps with this bc. hehe. falsified documents ♥️

setomary are qpp BY THE WAY but are married anyway they elope as soon as theyre 18 bc. idk. partly bc of identity issues with a marriage it makes everything easier for marys documents but also she is so insanely traumatized and seto helps her through EVERYTHING and they love each other so much and seto is like i want to be with you for the rest of my life mary would feel so bad bc... the rest of his life is not the rest of Her life. she knows he will eventually die. and her grandmother's heartbreaking story will just repeat with her but she's gone through so much already but even if mary were to reject seto's love he's just content being by her side and again theyre qpp like setomary is so specific in my mind. theyre both aroace btw♥️ but they get married anyway. bc of reasons.

setomary eloping at 18 super spontaneously and call kido and kano like hey can you come pick us up at the registry office. and kano and kido are like why are you at the registry office. and seto and mary are like erm....

theyre like we NEED this and the dan throws a super improvised wedding and its so silly. ayano wedding planner GONE CRAZY. yknow steven universe There Is An Awful Lot Of Awful Things We Could Be Thinking Of But For Just One Day Let's Only Think About Love. yeah. something like that (ive always wanted to make an animatic of that with kagepro actually...my secret is out) theyre still qpp though. but also married. you get it right.

[pyropsychiccollector]

what do you think would be some of the classes reaction to the whole harem thing? like obv theyre not gonna be mean, as long as nagi and everyone is happy, but also some people reaction would be funny i think

karma would love it, seeing the tiny nagisa he knew from first year now have more people that like him than he knows what to do with, karma would basically have infinite teaseing material at that point.

Or meahara, who probably goes up to nagisa all "how dude? just how? teach me your ways" and poor nagisa who didnt even notice anyone liked him that way for most of the schoolyear is just equally as confused.

.... Well, "mean" is a matter of perspective, isn't it? (❋•‿•❋)

Karma would have a field day with Nagisa having up to six girlfriends. (❋•‿•❋) He wouldn't sabotage Nagisa by any means, but you know there would be no end to the embarrassment Nagisa suffers... Akari would try to put her foot down for hubby's sake, but would clam up when Karma turns around and embarrasses her, too. Yukiko's politeness would probably be pushed to its limits cuz of Karma's tomfoolery. Fuwa would possibly make it worse with her manga references, if she happens to know any harem manga's... Yada would likely be more successful than Akari in confronting Karma, but... she's easy to get flustered, too.

Rinka and Rio, though? (❋•‿•❋) Well. Payback's a bitch. (❋•‿•❋)(❋•‿•❋)(❋•‿•❋)

Isogai, Meg, Chiba, and Hara would most likely attempt to be the most mature and accommodating to the.... bizarre dating arrangement. Manami would wanna be supportive, but romance really isn't her forte; and she can feel a bit meek when in the midst of her more vocal classmates. :3 Sugino would be down in the dumps for a while; Nagisa and Yukiko would try getting him hooked up with any baseball-loving girls to get him out of his funk. :3

Takebayashi might try to keep his head down and avoid all this drama. But might get roped in if Kimura, Mimura, Yoshida, Muramatsu, Hazama, Itona, Terasaka, and Maehara start any betting pools about how long this arrangement will last. ...... Or if the arrangement lasts longer than they expect, than side bets on different shenanigans popping up because of how much Nagisa has to juggle with these girls. Kurahashi would take the polygamous relationship as her green light to "share" Mister Karasuma with Professor Bitch. There's no stopping her now~ :3

Maehara and Okajima would probably be among the most annoying - Maehara because he would keep offering Nagisa dating advice, and eventually Nagisa's girlfriends would shut him down hard and fast. ... If not outright put a restraining order on him. (❋•‿•❋) And Okajima... Well, he'd keep trying to get gravure shots or other perverted "opportunities" from them and Nagisa, and he would meet a similar fate to Maehara.

Okano... uh.... (❋•‿•❋);;;;;;;;;; Nagisa might be in trouble for the first little while she realizes what kind of relationship he has with six of her friends.... If she "accidentally" knocked him out with a chair during the Valentine's Day chapters in the manga, Nagisa might be running for his life.... At least until the girls can calm Okano down. Somehow. (❋•‿•❋)

Ritsu would absolutely be Nagisa's wingwoman. She'd help the girls out, too, but Nagisa tends to doubt himself a lot, and he just doesn't "get" why so many girls like him~... Ritsu would help him be prepared for dates and making up with girlfriends if they're upset for whatever reason. ......... And fortunately or unfortunately (depending on who you ask) Ritsu might get Nagisa thinking about the.... lewd side of this relationship sooner rather than later. (❋•‿•❋);;;;;; Even without trying, Ritsu is very.... flirtatious. (❋•‿•❋);;;

Karasuma might be a concerned papa bird for a long time. He trusts these kids to look after themselves, but polygamy is very.... unorthodox, and it's very easy for one (or more) of them to get hurt and neglected. Might try to talk them down from this arrangement, but may eventually abide it if they keep at it and work with each other to be happy. Irina would be another wingwoman, coaching the harem on kissing and other intimate acts.... Of course, Nagisa can't afford some of the high class establishments that Irina coaches them about, so she begrudgingly has to lower the bar. (❋•‿•❋) Naturally, she insists they work up to spoiling each other rotten. But deep down, Irina IS looking after these kids in her own way.

........ And if Koro-sensei ever lived past his expiration date, God help Nagisa and his girlfriends. (❋•‿•❋) They think Karma's incorrigible? Well.......... (❋•‿•❋) Koro-sensei will be even more of a Papa Bird than Mister Karasuma. The happiness of seven of his kiddos is on the line, after all.

[chaoticsaints]

I find it pretty funny that Keith David is a president/vice president in Rick and Morty and Saints Row 4. Do you think their universes could be connected?

To be honest with you, I do. ive thought about this since i was like 16, but i also thought the idea was slightly cringe (at the time, now i let my cringe free). i could soo totally see boss and rick getting along so well, the fact theyre both reckless and flirty, the way they both act like "im tough, i dont care about anyone" but in reality they care so much that theyre willing to sacrifice themselves for their loved ones. plus cmon, the fact they both can not only avoid authority so well, but the fact theyve both been able to get out of jail with little to no actual punishment for their crimes? oh thats best friends right there i think. plus we can imply that saints row has some sort of canon/lore connection to adult swim tv show lore anyways, since jimmy - the guy who makes Johnny tag in the clones dlc for saints row 3 - is clearly supposed to be the nerd from robot chicken (literally even featuring the same voice - which iirc is done by seth green)

additionally with the fact that a song from the tim and eric show (the sports theme) as well as the aqua teen hunger force them and a MF doom song being included on the radio sound track? i mean i know adult swim did contribute to the game, but its not entirely clear in what way the adult swim universe is tied into saints row. especially cos they drop nearly all references to it outside of the fact im pretty sure you can have johnny tag and clone aisha as companions in sr4 (not entirely sure though since its been months since i played sr4 last and you do have to unlock them).

plus the line that the president has in the "get schwifty" episode' "...I'm the goddamn president of the united fucking states"... totally sounds like something he'd say when being confronted by boss for his backstabbing...

which honestly not to be tangential but i have to talk about that now bc im sooo realizing how genius it is to make keith backstab boss.... especially because he does it right before you get put into a simulation where you have to fight Julius little? i may hark on saints row 4's writing but goddd the fan service they give to us can be soo good. It almost makes me wonder if keith david is a clone or hologram that zinyak made specifically to betray/trick boss - especially since hes the only one (other than Benjamin king, but this you could argue Ben wasnt immune to it, since it was teased in the cutscene, plus you could make the point that boss doesnt see Ben the same way they see someone like johnny whos been a long time friend and companion and even someone like matt miller, who may be a genuine threat - posessing skills boss doesnt have/understands - but boss still sees him as "lesser" or equal to them bc of who matt is outside of his keyboard) who rejects boss' advances in the ship. especially because his bitterness not only towards boss, but zinyak. He makes a mention of originally campaigning to be the president before "zinyak kicked the stool out from under him", and since hes aware earth is gone... why would he care abt being president of holograms? some of the plot points they make in sr4 are a tad annoying for the reason that they love to set up stuff like this, and the audio log collectables tell us so much, yet, they wont do anything with it unless its inherently funny.

dont get me wrong, love saints row's humor but i just wish they wouldnt sacrifice interesting plots and characters for it. And i wish they would solidify canon more.

TLDR; i do think saints row and rick and morty are connected in some way yes. the way i think the saints row universe is indeed intertwined with other adult swims shows due to saints row 3 giving us plenty of hints that the universe are connected in some way.

[icharchivist]

surprisingly i come to your askbox bearing a3-related thoughts instead of gbf. crazy i know. anyways i finished going thru conquering misoshiosa island!! my thoughts abt it are quite scattershot but i had a lot of fun. as i mentioned previously i almost went thru this event before starting autumn loll. was fun going thru the first bit again with autumn knowledge in my pocket now. the more i hear muku talk the more i want to sit and discuss manga recs with him. like in my heart i just KNOW he read basara. i've read a pretty large amount of shoujo so i think we'd get along.

it was pretty obvious muku and omi were gonna be the pair for this cg and like. i'm pleased about it. they're just such a good pair conceptually when u consider, like, definitions of masculinity and how it might apply to both of them.

azami regarding kazunaris flyers: damn. this is, like, needlessly impressive. what’s that quote about middle schoolers having the most accurate insults. this wasn’t really an insult but it really. Strikes Deep in a way only a middle schooler is capable of.

in any other situation i would gently tell muku that he doesn't need to panic about every eventuality BUT in this case i knew sakyo was planning on leaving them to fend for themselves so i was very glad for muku and omi's preparation. i think its really fun they watched that movie together.

kazu making an itinerary for literally just the trip to the island is sooo funny to me. like he must've known something was a little messed up. do u think sakyo gave him the info and kazunari looked at it, a little miffed that izumi's first instablam post was about spring and winter having a great time without them (and masumi liked the post first) and went. eh. sakyo can have his chaos.

juza bringing chocolate is very juza but him calling the chocolate "rations" is how u know muku and juza are related. love natsugumi teasing tenma abt being sleepless for this trip but like genuinely. its nice that he gets to like. Go On Trips now. like thats a thing he and misumi can do and its not rly something they got to do when they were younger!

i'm going to gloss over the bit with the monkeys where misumi can talk to them bc. i really.... they even acted to the guests in part 11 i do not think this had to happen. normally im all for a3 magic shenanigans so i dont know why this one didnt gel for me lol. anyways PSA wild monkeys can fuck u up so do be careful. don't get aggressive with them. i'm not an expert or anything tho.

the fact that running on the beach is part of their training makes me think sakyo has read knb. doesnt muku give sakyo manga recs? was that not a thing? anyways i think sakyo would read knb. he seems like the type of person to read it and be like. i dont think real high schoolers can go invisible or shoot sparks out of their eyes when they're focused. but i hope he enjoyed it. speaking og knb and a3 a hurrah for team friendship. i saw ur post abt it and like. i want a sticker thats like. I Survived That One Poll Where People Were Really Mean To Muku And Yuki For No Reason. muku and momoi was such a wonderful win to see with the art and propaganda and everything. and i was really rooting for momoi since her name literally comes from momoiro. i didnt actually know there was a knb a3 alliance until this poll but im very glad for its existence bc i love both things very much and theyre both very very dear to me.

was never worried for muku and izumi in the cave bc i Knew muku was doing a hansel & gretel with the way he was acting and i was glad to see it was buttons and not food so omi found them. i think its really cute that not only did omi rush off while people tried to stop him, a bunch of other people were ALSO trying to rush off and were probably stopped. makes sense it was omi who was able to actually do it tho. hes omi after all. look at how he handled banri and juza from day one. him showing muku the flower was so nice and the cg was SO CUTE like. look at those sparkling eyes!!! i also love queen of the night flowers... and im glad they got to go to a resort on the last day.

now some misc notes:

theres this part where taichi lies down in the sand and kumons like oh thats so nice! and lies down with him and i winced so hard like noooo dont u know... sand is just like glitter (Gets Everywhere)

i also just really like that muku is. for all that he berates himself for being weak and he wants to get like more stronger and prince-like and heroic etc. he very much doesn’t seem to correlate that with how he Looks Physically? (see: how he treats yuki) and like. that means so much to me.

finally i saw tenma being annoyed on the ship and island and stuff and. i just Know he complained during the trip and also to everyone when they got back but a year later he'll do an interview for some character that's very woodsy or like he acts as a castaway or something. and i just know he'll talk about how he was able to play the character well due to his own experience of staying on a deserted island… he'll say something abt how it was enriching and taught him a lot about coexisting with nature and some bs like that etc. and after watching that interview everyone in a3 will lovingly make fun of him for it.

YOO HEY THERE! always a pleasure, always no worries <333 a touch of cutesy a3 in the curse that is my inbox.

True i remember you almost read this one by accident ahah, at least now it's all in order again. You're SO right about Muku, he'd be a delightful conversation partner about manga and especially about shoujo. I'm sure you too would get along.

Also very good point for the CG yeah, they're conceptually a very good duo on that regard, they had such a sweet dynamic this whole time, and it's soft to see them with especially just this soft over a flower.

AKJDFMLDKMFLFD Azami and Yuki fit that description so well and now there's two of them. rip Kazunari.

Ah yeah, Paranoia is Paranoia until the day you're actually right. That's Muku right here. And honestly at this point, is it overthinking or is it a correct assessment of the type of person Sakyo is. Food for thoughts. But yess it's so nice they spent some time together to prepare it all.

FOR KAZU IT'S SO FUNNY. i have to believe that, yes, indeed. Especially also with like, how close Kazunari and Azuma can be as the two travellers type, and he knows perfectly what Azuma pulled last training camp. I trust Kazunari in putting two and two together while preparing his traveler log. Like he must have known. I believe in him.

"juza bringing chocolate is very juza but him calling the chocolate "rations" is how u know muku and juza are related." that's such a cute way to put it. YEAH IT'S SO SWEET FROM NATSUGUMI. and yeah i'm also team "always crying when Tenma and Misumi do anything that qualifies as a normal experience" considering their specific bagage about how little they could experience of the world bc of their families.

That's a fair point for the monkeys. It was totally buckwild but yeah this might have been a little too much in term of suspension of disbelief. taking notes for how to behave with monkeys in real life, we never know.

Oh my god a3xknb alliance real and it was thanks to Sakyo all along. And yeah Muku does give Sakyo manga rec. Also Kumon is really big on sports manga and him and Muku talks about this common interest a lot, so if it's not Muku, it's Kumon's fault, but also, i want to say it's Muku because it goes with OUR alliance type. Sakyo would indulge because oh well!

And god right. Team friendship…. and right :sob: remember when people were so mean for no reason. for the sake of cartoon's dogs. :(. but the alliance this competition around was so wholesome. i'm glad you've learnt of the alliance thanks to it now! it's honestly such a sweet phenomena i love it so much. I'm so glad you like those two so much that it makes it more worthwhile <3

Muku is such a clever survivalist on that regard. and Omimi finding them was so nice. the fact so many people wanted to rush to them really is amazing. And agreed, the CG and them being able to rest up really made it worthwhile <3

wow speaking about sand like a true Anakin Skywalker type… gotta give it to him. But yeah Sand does get everywhere. also speaking of sands, remember in the beachside event where Muku and Juza have to talk out a misunderstanding on the beach a way back? Muku then mentions "next time we should bring Kumon on the beach with us". It made me so emotional that the Summer/Autumn training camp was on the beach like that because i was just thinking about how much Muku and Juza wanted to have Kumon with them there….

agreed on Muku. And he's so cool this way :( that's a reason i really love Muku a lot.

and i lOVE what you say about Tenma. He'd complain so much on the spot, but give it a bit and he'll brag about how cool of an experience it was (especially since he was with his buddies) and everyone at Mankai would tease him for it. It fits them so perfectly.

as always, thank you very much for sharing your thoughts on the event <3333 next is Guy's chapter!!! be hyped ;D

Take care and it's always a pleasure <333

[caterkinnie]

hello! may I request 3, 8, 20 with Floyd and Rook? thank you if you took up my request! have a lovely day or whatever time you have rn ❤️❤️❤️ congrats on 200 followers 🎉🎉

3, 8 and 20 Floyd Leech and Rook Hunt!

❥warnings: very messy. some parts are longer than others.

congrats, lucky anon! i got extremely inspired writing this, so have some incredibly messy headcanons. theyre all over the place and at some point its just me info-dumping about said characters, my dearest apologies.

also trying to be more aEstHetIc for my own viewing pleasure and i think it looks good?

3. How does he behave around his crush?

Floyd is quick to fixate on something that catches his attention, and you aren't the exception.

At first you might believe he just loves messing with you, and he thinks the same actually! He's not aware of his crush on you for quite a long time actually.

Whenever he's bored he might just go to look for you to tease you and see what kind of funny reactions you'll give him! — And at the slightest hint of you hating him his mood will drop for reasons he doesn't understand.

There are some things that give him away.

He might be in the worst mood ever, but just seeing you around makes him feel instantly better. Jade and Azul constantly ask for your help to 'fix him' when he's feeling down — They're the first ones to notice his obvious crush for this same reason.

Even if he IS in a bad mood — he always finds the energy and motivation to help you if you need him.

The way he's overly protective of you. Nobody is allowed to mess with you except him!

And sometimes your real name will slip out of his mouth. No he doesn't find it weird to call you by your name. Why are you so surprised?

He's also like a puppy following you around sometimes, it starts as just wanting to tease you a bit — but then as the weeks go on you start to see him more and more often, to the point where the majority of time you aren't in class Floyd is probably either with you or looking for you.

He slowly becomes such an important part of your life that it becomes weird when he's not with you for a few hours.

And yeah… Still, he accepts his feelings as just something normal and doesn't think much of it — he doesn't question his relationship with you at all.

At this point, there are two things that might happen to make him confess. Jade and Azul have to make an intervention (Azul takes it completely seriously while Jade just wants to see how things will go) because Floyd keeps sneaking out from work to see you. The point is to convince him to confess in hopes of fixing the problem.

Or… He might kiss you out of impulse too.

He was alone with you, you were probably talking about your day and… his mind was elsewhere — it was clear he wasn't paying attention to what you were saying, he was too distracted with your lips. His brain just told him "I want to kiss shrimpy" and he did not question it.

∘₊· · ────── ·ஓ๑♡๑ஓ· ────── · ·₊∘

Rook is… complicated.

Like Floyd, tends to fixate on whatever catches his eye — but he's more subtle about it.

Rook will notice instantly the way his heart beats a bit faster when hearing your voice, or the way his stomach starts to feel butterflies when you smile at him.

Yes, he does often… obsess over specific people, but this time is different — he doesn't consider you a prey (at least not JUST a prey) and while he does still 'hunt' for you his intentions are different..

Whenever you interact with him, you might think Rook just started to think of you just like he thinks of someone like Leona or Malleus — if you don't know him you won't be able to tell the difference. And that's fine! Only a few can tell.

Rook loves to read you poems in french that convey all his feelings for you, he knows you can't understand him… but that's the point! He loves doing things that border the line of friendship and love, like kissing you in the cheek a bitt close to the lips, or saying some things that sound a bit too cheesy to be just platonic love. And since it's Rook, it's hard to tell!

He's always giving you mixed signals and finds it amusing when you're trying to figure out what he means.

Everyone who knows him closely (Vil) thinks his crush for you is incredibly obvious. Unfortunately for Vil, he can understand french — which means he can understand the poems Rook writes for you. This is bad for him because they always make him cringe due to how cheesy they are and always ALWAYS lets out a sigh afterwards because you are completely clueless and it's so frustrating he just wants you two to get together already.

Rook secretly wishes you try to translate his poems. He wants to see how you'd react to finding out what he meant! it would be funny if you did understand french and just acted like you didn't to see how long he'll keep giving you poems

His confession is probably extremely cheesy, with him gifting you flowers and translating all his poems, asking you out when he's finished.

8. Is he possessive, jealous..?

Floyd here!

∘₊· · ────── ·ஓ๑♡๑ஓ· ────── · ·₊∘

Rook isn't a jealous person, but he can be quite possessive.

I mentioned before that some of the boys were possessive with your attention — Rook is like that as well!

But unless it is too bad and you're almost blatantly ignoring him — he'll just… try to get your attention by either flirting with you or scaring the person you were talking to away. We all know how unsettling Rook can be.

And when he wants your attention he NEEDS IT and is willing to do anything to get it.

He's also very protective.

Whenever you're talking to someone he always ends up putting his hand on your waist or holding your hand. It's an instinct, he won't notice if you don't point it out.

Overall slightly possessive and isn't aware of it.

20. How do you make him fall for you?

Floyd would fall for someone who is both interesting and patient with him.

It always starts as him trying his best to mess with you, and if you give him interesting reactions then he's probably not going to stop!

But in all seriousness, whether you always have a comeback for his words or you basically can't handle his teasing at all for any reason — if you genuinely do get mad at him then it will stay as just that: teasing.

Show him that you care, the first time he might feel butterflies is when you try to uplift his mood — a feeling that at first he might not recognize, but whatever it is, he starts craving it desperately.

It's the fact that you care, the way you treat him and how you take him seriously. The way you don't just say "it's just a mood swing" and leave him alone, it's just… the way you actually have enough patience with him to try to help him.

Floyd has been told so many times that his brother is better than him in some way or another, and even if he does not hold this against Jade — it still hits hard nevertheless. While he might not say it out loud, he loves the feeling of someone liking him more than his brother for once.

Patience again, because he's slowly realizing his feelings — he doesn't know what is the nice feeling in his chest when he makes you smile, but he likes it a lot. Floyd needs time to understand what's going on and yeah, it takes a long time until he actually realizes.

∘₊· · ────── ·ஓ๑♡๑ஓ· ────── · ·₊∘

I actually wrote something similar for Rook before but I love him so…

This is insanely hard actually — he's the hunter of love and all but… it's incredibly weird for him to actually fall for someone.

He doesn't have any specific type, which makes things harder. You just have to stand out… but what's the criteria?

Alright, you might be the most interesting person on earth but still, he might just see you as another prey and nothing more. But there are a few things, and yes, simple as they might sound — they become harder due to the kind of person Rook is.

It always starts with him getting slightly interested in you. As I said, you have to stand out (even if it's just a bit) it's the easiest way! You don't have to do much, the whole 'be yourself' thing is literal.

But he might be even more interested if you don't seem to dislike him in your first encounter. He might want to see how far he can go to see the way you react!

It's a slow process, but as time goes he genuinely starts to appreciate you.

But this is how you can become friends with him! There's some other things you have to do.

As I said, he's very complex, and he prides himself on that fact. But that doesn't mean he's completely unpredictable.

Like I mentioned in my old post, something that gets his heart pumping is whenever you're able to guess something about him. Whether it's something small as just being able to tell whenever he's saying something just to mess with you or telling whenever something makes him upset or mad — he loves it. He tends to hide even the smallest stuff so he loves whenever you're able to see right through him.

Well… if it was someone else, Rook wouldn't be as pleased.

As I said, he prides himself in being someone people struggle to understand — after all, being vulnerable means you could get hunted, but you're already past that stage. He trusts you, so even if it's a weird feeling for him… he starts to enjoy the idea of being known.

The moment he starts to genuinely fall for you is when he feels able to be vulnerable, to let you know tiny bits about him — slowly letting you into his heart.

Reblogs are appreciated!

[yuukei-yikes]

Here’s a Harutaka ask for you! Do you think they’d get married? If yes what do you think their wedding would be like? Also I hope you feel better soon!

HIII if it isnt the little guy i watched slowly get into kagepro. whatsup. how are u holding up being into kagepro. ALSO THANK U im already a lil better i ate 1 single boiled egg and now im laying in bed

yes haruka and takane 10000% get so married. i have this silly headcanon that haruka is begging her from day 1 to get married because IDK he's just excited about being alive and takane liking him💗💗💗 and maybe he is also terrified of her changing her mind abt liking him and for some reason thinks getting married will solve that feeling of feeling not good enough for her💗💗💗 wait who said that. but takane's all like No haruka we're only like 20 and he's like AUUUUGGGHHH!!! fine

honestly its a hc born from a bit in the novels (im not sure u read them) where haruka says man i wish takane stopped swearing so much she's gonna have a hard time finding a husband💔💔💔 ITS SO FUNNY TO ME idk likeeee since he knew he'd die, he never imagined being an adult at all. this is more in the territory of the early twenties crisis he apparently has post str i guess. which is also hilarious.

i think haruka's like... he thinks of marriage of this weird alien thing bc as a teen he wont even entertain the idea of dating or anything bc HES DYING like he literally shoots down the acknowledgement of his feelings for takane BECAUSE he is dying. he's like man whats the fucking point if im just gonna die this sucks ASS

so marriage. well it's an adult thing. and he turns out to be alive!! and takane REALLY LIKES HIM FOR SOME REASON!!! and he's like WELL WERE ADULTS ARENT WE WHY THE HELL SHOULDNT WE GET MARRIED???? takane's like because we're BARELY adults like BARELY. and also IN SO MUCH NEED OF THERAPY. and haruka's like i dont see how that's related🙄🙄🙄 whatever takane ur such a bore🙄🙄🙄 its just a silly argument they laugh and tease each other about *rips hair out* theyre so CUTE AUGGHHH

yeah they do eventually get married. not IMMEDIATELY though but still probably rly young. like before their mid twenties young. LOL!!! as for a wedding i dont think they'd actually care about one??? because haruka and takane are really introverted ppl and being the center of attention mortifies both. well takane's used to attention bc streamer slay but its not. the same. like that's different BASICALLY i dont think takane would care to throw money in something like this and haruka is also like whatever man just sign the paper so i can officially be ur boywife. they still probably have like a little get together with the dan though. maybe they dont even tell them they're like OH BY THE WAY WE DID SOMETHING FUNNY TODAY wjxnoefuoendoefundkc call shintaro&ayano on the phone like can u come with us to sign as our witnesses. and shintaro and ayano are like WITNESSES OF WHAT? erm. haruka&takane engaged for exactly 14 hours when haruka asks takane to marry him for the millionth time and this time she's like uhhh. yeah alright👍

thats my harutaka wedding hc. that theyre too lazy to have a wedding🫡 ayano mourns it so much she's been like wedding planning her whole life for her siblings. seto&mary get ultra married as soon as theyre 18 im not getting into those hcs i already did but ayano goes so crazy with it. and then haruka&takane are next (tho years later) and ayano's like WH?? BUT IM?? SUPPOSED TO PLAN ANOTHER WEDDING????? WHAT DO U MEAN U WONT MAKE ONE???? and theyre like 🤷‍♂️ maybe she forces them and she organizes it alone and forces them to kiss in front of everyone and only then stops being annoying. sorry i love crazed wedding planner ayano

[angelprinz]

those somno hcs are GODLY. hail somno anon 🛐🛐

ive been trying to also come up with some of my own thirsts but nothings coming up to my head. i HAVE been thinking very hard about yan!childe / kaeya with a darling whose very stressed out and is just so obedient because of their past experiences with,,family and relationships. but thats not exactly thirst,, =(

ok in the middle of writing that i didnt have any thirst in mind i literally came up with an idea

imagine stepdad! childe and stepdad! kaeya. maybe even stepdad!zhongli. ( they're all poly, and so is ur mom!)

theyre all menacing fathers, but you didnt mind! theyre actually really cool. tartaglia takes you out fishing, kaeya helps you with your homework a ton and zhongli reads books with you. your mom isnt always home, shes always been busy with work, and so had your other two dads, kaeya and childe.

zhongli does go to work but he spends way more time with you at home then the others. hes very nice to you, but you wonder why he touches your thighs so much and why you feel so weirdly uncomfy down ... *there* when he does. nah, its probably nothing, you convince yourself.

when your dad, kaeya, and you are all alone hes constantly pestering you, touching everything he can of your sweet, delicious body - hands trailing up your chest as he brushed his fingers with your waist. i mean, you dont mind, it makes you...happy and tingly for some reason? hes so jokey, too, teasing you for how you jump when he brushed his crotch against your ass when youre trying to get something high up. such a teasing dad, hes so funny and cool!

childe is one you very rarely get any alone time with. but when it happens, he does everything to spend more time with you. he makes you such delicious food, but somehow you always feel so tired after eating some goulash he made especially for this night. maybe you were just tired from everything that day? yeah, that has to be it. youve gotta get more rest, silly!

when you take a nap, youre always sweaty and sticky everywhere...you always check the temperature of your room, but each time its weirdly too cold for you to be sweating as hard as you are. its probably a thing that happens when you nap?

and then your life changes when you go to shower and you see a white substance drip down your legs. you knew what it was, youve watched porn before.

after that discovery, you didnt even know what to think of yourself anymore.

-with love, 🕊

simply, cockwarm zhongli. that’s what you do. daddy 2 and 3 simply have to wait their turn n drug you 🙄 you know that manga of that girlboss w four husbands? yeah. reader with their 3 step fathers yummy!!!!

what was i thinking again dove?? oh yeah. zhongli mmmmmm woof woof lemme suck i mean wait no my idea was, yes you take edibles with one of ‘em right? but their’s was a fake, normal food while yours was dosed wayyyy too high. you’re all giggly and spacey as they grope you and pump your holes full of cum <3

[xincountry]

. so like this is just me rambling but

suna as a journalist who's interning at this news anchor and his superior (i imagine this to be oikawa LMFAO) is like so if you can uncover spiderman's identity you'll get the job and suna's like. ok great. because even if he genuinely cannot be bothered to care about superheroes i imagine he just enjoys blackmail and tomfoolery. like that. komori (spiderman fanatic) comes along for the ride to help suna (and to also see spiderman up close!! and talk to him!!). they hide in some obscure place near where osamu (spiderman) is fighting crime and osamu's like It's dangerous here and well. suna's not really good at the interviewing thing but komori's just good at talking to people and making them comfortable methinks and they make it work.

and then suna publishes an article about spiderman #exclusive interview with a picture of osamu in cool battling alien creature position. but they still continue hanging around and eventually osamu confronts them bc hes like well i gave you that interview already don't stay so close it's dangerous and theyre like ok sure but u gotta take off ur mask and osamu's like ok not happening so whenever theres reports of osamu fighting snkm are there ready with drinks or food or w/e LMAO and eventually atsumu sees spiderman on the news but it's like hey. i haven't been doing those things. and then it's like why does this scrub get an article before Me (osamuvoice: STOP HANGING AROUND YER NEIGHBOUR and pick up more jobs) (osamuvoice: we're literally the same thing / atsumuvoice: but You got interviewed. where can i find this journalist) so at some point snkm meet atsumu and its like oh this isn't our usual spiderman. (it's free fodder for suna to write about. especially after he finds in the pictures of osamu/atsumu their suits share a slight difference aka the webbing pattern is either silver/gold respectively)

skts time: omi is atsumu's neighbour and well. [insert canon typical skts here: it starts when omi walks out of an elevator that atsumu is entering and then his interest is very much piqued LOL] but one time while fighting he gets really badly injured and straight up passes out on omi's doorstep at like 11pm and omi's about to take out the trash when he straight up sees. atsumu half dead on the floor. and omi cleans his wounds using that large antiseptic collection of his. this turns into omi being the only person apart from osamu who knows his identity etc...... there's a few directions i can imagine it heading from there either their friendship has been Building Up to the wound tending (and confession) or from there atsumu just goes over to get his injuries fixed instead of sleeping them off as he usually does. point being they get together. omi sees suna's article at some point perhaps and puts two and two together so he knows also that osamu is spiderman. now he goes over to komori and suna's apartment with their detective mystery corkboard and red string of all the spiderman identity related clues and finds it funny. if only a little bit.

i honestly dont know where to go from here I just. ossnkm endgame. i just think they keep meeting up with osamu and keep meeting up with each other. perhaps the catalyst is omi asking komori to meet the miya twins. perhaps komori brings suna along because. yeah maybe they've been spending too much time looking at spidermen. perhaps its because snkm's corkboard of clues starts to look more like a list of reasons to fall in love with this spiderman. cooks. cares deeply for the people he's close to. looks extremely cool in his suit and even when he's strangling the life out of alien creature. or zapping webs to immobilise someone. or swinging across buildings. carries himself like a normal civilian until disaster strikes. until even at work oikawa is teasing him like hows ur rendezvous with our neighbourhood spiderman.

i do want to twist this into hostage situation with suna and komori because perhaps. perhaps osamu brings them food as well (#onigiri) and delivers it to their apartment one time but some antagonist is watching and kidnaps snkm. forces osamu to choose between one of them. osamu has two hands to shoot webs from to catch them. send tweet i don't think this is coherent

ossnkm/skts spiderman au where the miya twins are spidermen duo.....

[ennoshawty]

HQ CAPTAINS AS THINGS

i was bored and felt like doing a crackfic thing but i didn’t have any solid themes or good ideas

SO I PRESENT TO YOU - THE CAPTAINS. AS THINGS. IDK HOW TO WORD THIS BUT YOU’LL SEE AS WE GO ALONG.

warnings: VERY LONG, slandering a crybaby oikawa (lovingly), mentions f!reader, shitposting, mentions of violence in kita's, (a bit) yandere!kita, cursing, unedited, me being an idiot

officer!daichi

we are: vigilante/troublemaker

loving the enemies-to-lovers trope so much

nah bro you ain’t full criminal (bc my preppy ass could never) you just do the small vandalism things y’know like drawing peepees on government buildings and knocking over bins

u literally confessed to him by spraypainting the entire billboard by his workplace “I LIKE YOU” like way to go girl

He didn’t appreciate the creative graffiti but he rlly likes u so all u had to do was clean it and then next thing u know yall are out on a cute cafe date

but let’s talk about before yall got together

he’d CHASE u thru alleyways when he’d catch you writing “police sux” on the fuckin wall

bro is NOT AT ALL afraid to jump onto the roofs it’s FRIGHTENING to see this huge ass police officer storm after u

HES SO FAST HOT DAMN WOMAN HOW DO U GET AWAY FROM HIM??? USAIN BOLT WHOMST???

you’d almost always get away by a hair - he’s SO SO close

and it frustrates him but excites u oooooo arrest me shawty

and this would continue for a while

but yall have such fun fun banter - you’d tease him and he’d say something back and you’d bolt and he’d chase

some days he’d catch you. but in those times u slip away somehow

he’s having so much fun and doesn’t even know it

and then at one point he doesn’t even care about bringing u to justice anymore. he knows it’s bad for business and it’s unprofessional but he’s so attracted to u

he doesn’t even know it. HES IN DENIAL!!! his mind: “oh i’m just asking about her so that i know her motives” bruh no u just asked about our fav pastry this aint about crime anymore

and when he finally gets it,,,DINGDINGDINGDING SOUND THE ALARMS !!! MAN IS WHIPPED!! he’s more shy around u awww,,,doesn’t even want to chase u anymore but he will still engage in banter w u.

yall get a little peace treaty in the lil crush stage - you both are kinda aware of ur feelings towards each other but don't really wanna mess it up and jeopardize whatever's going on like bros PLEASE JUST KISS ITS INFURIATING

it’s more of a competition to see who will break the other first (and you lost he’s too hot)

he lets u joyride his cop car in an empty parking lot <3 he is the one <3 this is true love

u gotta marry him right now bro no excuses

u are no longer on the crime side of the law,,,u support him and only him fuck the rest of the cops (i’m jk of course...or am i)

u are his badass sidekick <3 unofficially of course until he marries u

u help him with the small things like helping lost children find their parents and helping old ladies cross the street

but you want to do the FUN stuff - chasing thieves and arresting drunkards.

unfortunately, he loves u too much to put u in danger so he keeps u from doing the dangerous things

after some protesting later, he trusts u to take care of urself. and now yall have a competition just like old times - whoever catches the most baddies at the end of the month wins (he WILL scold u if ur too reckless though)

THE TWO OF U ARE JUST GOOD COP BAD COP UHAHAHAHAHAHA

but it’s much more complicated than that - it’s either ur the laidback one and he’s the strict one or ur the fiery one and he’s the person like “calm down”

PLEASE HE HATES BRINGING U TO INTERROGATIONS he’s trying to be serious but you keep making him laugh istg he has to kick u out each time

u still make him laugh when u pout-glare at him thru the glass

bro says he’s not the stereotypical cop but the moment u surprise him with donuts and coffee in the morning he will make out w u right then and there

even though yall dating he still won’t let u play with his equipment

but sometimes u grab his walkie talkie when he’s not looking and prank call the others

and his coworkers know by now they’re like “oh it’s daichis gf” and go along with it HAHAHAHA “this is alpha 1, daichi just contracted ligma, over.” “roger, but what’s ligma? over.” “*inhale* LIGMA-” *daichi takes the walkie talkie back*

his coworkers are chill lmaoooo they love u two as a couple THEY ARE VERY SUPPORTIVE they planned a surprise anniversary party of when u joined the force (unofficially)

the juniors tanaka and noya are jelly ooooo but they respect their captain <3

u loooooove hanging out w the starry-eyed new recruit hinata and he’s bouncing around asking u personal questions “how did you date the commander!!! what’s he like as a bf??” he also accidentally exposes how much daichi talks about u in the office before he drags him away and murders him off camera

he does get u a walkie talkie that’s just connected to his line, tho. for emergencies. it’s ur second phone basically that only has his number in it

daichi LOVES it when u massage him after he’s had a long day but his shoulders are stiff as a statue,,,he’s also super stronk and can carry u anywhere <333

IMAGINE HE HAS A POLICE DOG - he doesn’t, but he’ll get one of his buddies to bring u a k9 unit so u can pet it and when he sees how happy u are he considers getting one PLSSS IT WOULD FIT HIM HELPPP

bro is VERY strict on safety. bulletproof glass in yalls house. alarms + cameras everywhere. trackers on every device. underground bunker. (just kidding lol)

daichi teaches u self-defense and gets u a bejeweled taser for ur bday <333 MARRY THIS MAN RIGHT NOW OR I’LL-

in other words i love daichi and he is husband material WIFE ME UP BUDDY

househusband!oikawa

we are: girlboss sugar mommy

somehow you tamed this bish to becoming your obedient malewife

and by obedient i mean whiny but compliant

IS MORE ATTACHED TO YOUR BLACK CARD THAN TO YOU. I SAID IT. THE TRUTH.

sure, he’s pretty and gives affection sometimes but the only time he’s bein cute and snuggly w u is when a new fendi purse came out and he wants it

his specialty is cooking but he’s so lazy he’s all “just get the maid to do it”

please give ur workers a raise he’s so demanding

when you take him to ur business parties hes ALWAYS bragging about you and ur large house with this and that and his favorite: indoor hot tub. he always brings up the indoor hot tub.

only reason you bring him is cuz he’s pretty and he whines when you leave him alone for too long

yall cant even stay for too long - he’ll practically drag u out of the building and whining that it’s too hot and his suit is too stuffy and to call a limo

he’s not afraid to embarrass u if u dont give him what he wants and he will spit out food at a formal dinner if its not to his liking

probably in competition w househusbands! makki and mattsun about who gets the best house so he’s constantly begging u for an extension to the house “please babe!!! makki has-” “no.”

8/10 times throws tantrums in public and 1465/10 times throws tantrums in the house

he wants to cry for the sake of crying. one time he lost his shirt and he wouldn’t stop bawling for 15 min

please find him a hobby

crybaby . the moment u give him the glare of death it’s over. but he’s got a cute crying face which makes up for his annoying whimpering

like he made the mistake of throwing a temper tantrum in the mall only for you to glare at him with a look that said “we’re discussing this when we get home and you’re gonna get your ass beat” and walk away. immediately stopped what he was doing and he was running after u, sniffling and mumbling apologies

please humble him and have him sleep outside. the couch is too luxurious to banish him to. he made sure of it himself. it’s reclining and has charging ports. he will not learn his lesson that way

does NOT want you to get a pet or a kid or even another sugar baby/househusband - he wants to be the center of ur attention

speaking of which he HATES it when you work for too long or work overseas. when u come back he’ll pout at u and give u the petty silent treatment

don’t bother trying to comfort him he thrives off of it and he’ll keep going so u can keep paying attention to him. if u just ignore him back he’ll come crawling back to u. “WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME IGNORING YOU?? DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME ANYMORE???”

one time yall got into a fight and he was all like “since ur being a rude mommy i’ll just find someone else !!!” inside u were like “oh god finally” but instead u said “okay”

ohmygod he panicked. he was rlly expecting for u to fight for him,,, but he doesn’t want to admit defeat first so he tries to go thru with it but you literally dont care. even when he has his chanel luggage packed and he’s standing by the door ur just like “ok bye bitch”

So he’s trying to stand by the door and wait for u to say that ur joking. ur not.

“fine! I’m leaving now!” “okay.” “...*sniffles*” “tooru, go.” “WAAAAH NO IM SORRY I DONT WANT TO-”

u knew this was going to happen sadly. u even hid the keys to all of the sports cars u own just in case he was actually going to go thru with it

tries to get in the gossip circle with the neighborhood trophy wives but they don’t think he’s cool enough. they like u though. they think ur hot asf and oikawa doesn’t like them no more bc theyre hitting on his ATM. but thanks to that u know all the gossip and shit even though u don’t ask for it

Every time u pass by a store where he thinks he wants something he’ll just cling to u and give the puppy dog eyes. like it could be out of nowhere and u see it and you’re like “where. which store.”

bro once he went luxury he never went back. he wouldn’t EVER step foot into a grocery store ever again congrats he’s been bimbo-ified

beat him with ur gucci belt pls it’s so funny

also please please PLEASE discipline him. tell him it’s NOT okay to just randomly purchase the entire swarovski store or to throw a party at ur house just bc he’s feeling petty about u being at work for too long. ofc he’ll bitch about it but you need to be firm

but don’t worry,,,he’ll get the idea when u take away black card privileges and slap him around (lovingly)

now he has to ask permission like a good boy. he’ll kneel and hug u and give a lil pout and whine

you got a bigass man child i’m sorry maam u should’ve picked tobio or ushi

ceo!kuroo

we are: secretary

bruh keeps it mostly professional during work hours

but that all gets shedded off like a snake when we on break

one minute he’s all “get these papers done by today or i swear on all that is holy i will destroy you” and then later he’s all “hey sweetheart wanna grab a cup of coffee”

flirty flirty FLIRTY FLIRTY AAAAA HES A MENACE

but you’re less than impressed bc y’know when the time clocks out and its time to go back to work he’s ruthless once more

HUMBLE HIM FOOL only when you’re on break though

will NOT stand for anyone else in the workplace bullyin u - NO WAY. only HIM

he’s got TONS and TONS of dirt on everyone in the office - NO ONE is safe so they wouldn’t even dare

RIP janet from accounting

that dumb bitch made the mistake of insulting u to ur face and in front of him. never heard from her again

it’s not even limited to the other employees - he’s not afraid to go off on a potential business partner if they dared disrespect you

bruh tries to call u on ur off days for the most randomest shit and to get ur attention

*picks up phone* “sir?” “ah! my favorite secretary ever! listen, i need you to grab my pens from my desk at the office and bring them to my place.” “...with all due respect, it’s 2 am, sir.”

but u have to comply with his ridiculous demands cuz he’s the bank

and he depends on u completely. as much as he hates to admit it - u have his schedules, itinerary, provide coffee, performance rates, stock info, you name it.

once u were out sick and he had the worst management - he’s not used to working without you

def tries to get some of ur workload off of u bc he’s worried that the stress of working for him made u sick + he doesn’t want to go thru scheduling again

prolly gets bored in meeting rooms and sends u little smirks and wiggles his eyebrows and weird looks while he’s sitting and ur standing in the corner like bruh pay attention

maybe sometimes he’s secretly makin fun of the presenter and doodling on his spare sticky note something funny to make u crack a smile

he’ll tease u for it of course “oh, secretary! you should be paying more attention! what would you do if this was important?” bruh i can multitask now keep airdropping me ur selfies i’m saving all of them (news flash: u dont save his dumbass selfies otherwise his ego will inflate too much)

sometimes likes to pull u aside from work to hug u - you say it’s highly unprofessional but he says it’s his stress reliever

you ALMOST got caught by one of the newbies and he was kabedon-ing you

he tries to play it off (since u were embarrassed too) but u know better,,,DO NOT LET HIM FORGET ABOUT IT he turns red and embarrassed every single time USE THIS TO UR ADVANTAGE !!

never goes into an elevator without you bruh is so attached to u n holds the doors open for you

but you have to open normal doors for him if he doesn’t know how it works (hint: manual doors. “why isn’t it opening on its own?” “sir, there’s a handle.” “but?? what does it do??”)

bruh acts like a dumbass sometimes so you can baby him :/// wtf man just because you’re rich doesn’t mean i’ll- ...wait...how much did you say…? that many zeros? HAND ME THAT FORK YES I’LL FEED YOU COME HERE- HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE BITCH

brings u to overseas trips and he spoils u too

no matter how much you insist that you’re ok he gives u a lot of luxurious items. “think of it as a bonus from me.” NOW YOU JUST HAVE A COLLECTION OF NICE SHOES/BAGS/JEWELRY AND HE LOVES IT WHEN YOU WEAR THEM TO WORK IT MAKES HIM SO HAPPY UGHHHHH

BRUH just a sugar daddy at this point “you have to look presentable for the next focus group so here’s a nice rolex watch” “sir, i don’t need-” “ah ah ah - it’s my treat.”

it’s pointless to refuse him but he still teases u for it like what???? “if i didn’t know any better, secretary, i’d say you’re just doing it for my money and not my fabulous looks and personality.” “exactly.” “hey!”

yall go for drinking parties a lot. whether with the whole branch or just the two of u

KARAOKE W KUROO AFTER A LONG DAY OF WORK <333 becomes a ritual between the two of u

he’s so silly when he’s drunk lmfaoooo goofy ass mf

but that’s only when it’s the two of u. he controls his alcohol around others and his uncool side is only for u <3

also ur the only one he trusts to take him back to his place and handle him

it’s the other way around too - when u drink a lot he looks after you <333

you have a higher tolerance than him and sometimes u have competitions between the two of u on who can drink more but then yall always end up shitfaced

HES the one who has a crush on you

you know the drill - gaslight gatekeep girlboss

he’ll do anything for u but wouldn’t ever admit it he simp

offers u the keys to his estate and offers for you to LIVE with him

bruh just marry me already ok WAIT WE’RE NOT EVEN DATING YOU NEED TO WORK ON THAT SIR-

he’s so awkward tryna confess to u,,,he may be this big hotshot ceo but he’s acting like a schoolgirl in love

probably prints u a confession when he asks u to go to the fax machine lmfao what a nerd

in other words ceo!kuroo is a nerd and you need to top him immediately get that bank

dog hybrid!bokuto

we are: owner

Husky-malamute breed!!! BEEG DOGGIE VERY HAPPY N DROOLY <333

OVERLY HYPER. JUMPS ON ANYONE AND U AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT

he’s well trained i swear but the moment he sees something of interest then i’m sorry you just lost him

please if a robber came in he wouldn’t even attack them he’d just tackle them w hugs

he loves loves loves snuggles <333 u busy? nope!!! hug time!!! cooking something?? oo lemme see!!! whoops look at all those tomatos on the ground. u got a deadline coming up and u really need to focus?? CUDDLE TIIIIIIME- w-wait - huh?? why are u shoving me off?? do you - do you not - huh?!?! WHY ARE YOU LOCKING ME OUT OF THE ROOM?? NO!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! IDK WHAT EXAMS ARE BUT I WANT CUDDLES!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????!!!

the WORST things u could ever do to him is leave him and call him a bad boy

HE CRIES ON THE SPOT </3 HOW COULD YOU </3

soso bummed when u go out of the house without him </333 waits by the door patiently waiting for u to come back </333 sob sob

the moment he hears the door unlock he LEAPS and his tail is wagging like CRAZY

he is SO STRONG. almost always knocks u over whenever he jumps on u

destroys EVERY toy u bring him. u leave him for 5 seconds and there’s stuffing all over the floor and whatever u brought him is nonexistent

tugs on the leash when u walk so much that it SNAPS

loves romping w the other dogs in the dog park but he needs to tone down on his friendliness he almost killed a lil orange chihuahua

gets distracted by EVERYTHING. ooh, squirrel! oo, butterfly! OOO HUMAN CHILD!! MUST EAT!!!

ok while he might be friendly, he still gets super super jealous. you both were outside and u were petting the neighborhood black cat and bruh almost swallowed his head

which u thought was weird bc the two are normally friends and are pretty nice around each other

so now he’s more feisty around him and any other cat that’d get ur attention

If it was a person, then that’s another thing. He’d be very friendly at first but then slowly realize that ur attention is more directed on them than him. then he’d go ballistic

but when u scold him for practically assaulting the poor dude and call him a bad boy,,,he’s lost it

u have to lock him in the other room and he’s crying and whimpering, scratching at the door. all he wanted to do was protect u from that bad bad man who took away his owner’s attention !!!

def snarls at the dude next time he comes into ur house/apartment...dude never came back

“GRRR” “AAAA GET UR FRIGGIN DOG B-” “he don bite” YES IT DO GET UR-”

doggie bokuto rlly tries to be slick...it doesn’t work. like he tries to do that thing when he’s a total demon towards the guy but then act like an angel around u but it doesnt work bc he’s not smooth

doggie intelligence: 2 IQ. one time u got him a puzzle box and hid a treat in it but bruh couldnt figure it out just straight up monched the entire puzzle simply bc he smelled his fav bbq treat in it

speaking of intelligence - he only knows how to say a few words like ur name and incomplete sentences. speaks in barks and whines and sometimes a word

SO BIG THAT HE GRABS FOOD FROM THE TABLE WHEN YOU’RE NOT LOOKING

u had some delicious beef steak? oh dear, where did it go? there’s ur puppy kou with steak sauce all over his lips

big fan of hiking trips, sports, literally anything that involves going out

he LOVES getting dirty outside playing. boi cant control himself from rolling around in the mud

hates baths at first but then he likes how u spray the water on him and giggles awww he likes bath time now

we all know he’s not the brightest pup of the pack but,,,he’s somehow psychic. he knows when ur taking him to the vet

HE THROWS A BIG FUSS ALL THE TIME - sometimes he tries to hide but his huge tail under the couch gives it away

and he knows when ur thinking of taking him on a walk. he also begs u to take him outside by settling his head in ur lap and pouting until u give him what he wants

he likes the big ol doggie sweaters/pjs u buy him...but he always ruins them. no matter how much u buy him, they’re all ruined. he complains how scratchy it is and it feels weird on him

knows LOTS of tricks but if u teach him more than what he already knows he will forget one of them he’s like a damn pokemon

he feels ur emotions :((( if ur mood is down his tail droops :(( and he gives u cuddles and tries to make u feel better

he even likes to make a fool out of himself and be silly if it makes u laugh :((( he’s so precious

in other words i love doggy bokuto

pirate!ushijima

we are: kidnapped

ah yes we’re are captives of the most fearsome pirates of the seas: shiratorizawa

just so you know, tendou was the instigator. he was all “let’s kidnap a noble’s kid and get the ransom money!” (whether you actually are a noble or not is up to you)

thing is, nobody’s willing to pay (if you aren’t a noble) or the pirates really pissed off the folks in charge and are now doing a manhunt

so yeah you aren’t going back anytime soon

but he’s a pretty good sport about it - very hospitable

he notices the little things u like and gets them for u <333 sighs <333

he saw you reading that book? wow look at that, there’s suddenly a stack of them and the same genre he saw you reading

but you definitely shouldn’t test him. he’s SUPER scary when it comes down to it

you saw how ruthless he was with the rogues that had dared to challenge him on sea

mf made them walk the plank

you help on the ship bc u wanna be useful and also shirabu keeps being mean

he asks u to teach the crew how to read cuz theyre dumb as shit and only know water and treasure

speaking of treasure - when he leaves u on the ship to explore a cave, he gets u really pretty jewelry <33 anything u ask for

“oh, welcome back captain. how was your mission?” “i brought back a few trinkets i thought you might like.” *reveals whole chest of priceless gems* “are they to your liking? if not, we can set sail for something else that might interest you.” “I-”

bruh got a pet eagle - u ask the crew and they dont even know how tf it happened

hell, even he doesn’t know how it happened wtf. “oh. one day it flew down to me and i fed it. that’s all.” wtf

equivalent to diluc’s bird - he didn’t even give it a name so he gives u the honors

U name him rigatoni (you got a great naming sense btw)

oh my god oh my god oh my god HE TRIES TO PROTECT U WHEN PPL WERE TRYNA INVADE THE SHIP

it was the first thing he did no cap - burst into ur room and scoops u up <33333

“what the-” “we need to get you to safety. we are under attack.” and holds u close to his chest AAAHSIDHFPSDHFN OH MY LORD YES

HAS THE TEAM GIVE U SELF DEFENSE LESSONS AFTER THAT

tendou tries to give u a sword but ushi says no “she could hurt herself.”

“but ushiwaka! we can teach her not to hurt herself” “...it’s my orders.” “c’mon, be more honest, ushiwaka! what’s the real reason?”

he goes quiet then looks at u “...i’ll always be there to help. she’ll have me.” AOISHSDHFSNDF

HELPPPPP SIOJFDSKFJP HES SO CHARMING AND HE DOESNT EVEN TRY

but the rest of the crew are like “then what’s the point”

but tendou sneaks u a dagger just to be safe

sorry ur apart of the crew now - but they’re like a family even if they did kidnap u

oh whatever your life before wasn’t as cool as this (no offense)

they are given orders to protect u at all costs

speaking of which - ushi isn’t all that great w guns

almost blew his own head off tryna figure out how it works before reon snatched it from him

he brings you with him to towns and cities and he likes taking u to the markets to get you stuff

ushijima tell me your love language is gift-giving without telling me your love language is gift-giving-

he finds out you’re pretty good at bargaining and brings you onshore a lot more

is mesmerized at how you absolutely BERATE the merchant who was tryna rip you off like sis where is this violence coming from??? he loves it??

he also likes to stop by some pretty islands and imagines just settling down in such a nice place w you <333 SIGHS <333 VERY <333 LOUDLY <333

no matter how much he likes you...he will NOT let you drive the boat under any circumstances </3 its his livelihood c’mon man

whenever you have to stay on the ship while he’s away he sends rigatoni to give messages and the two of u talk thru messages

speaking of which rigatoni is fierce and can definitely sink his talons and his sharp beak into any bastard that dares get near you while the captain is away

wakatoshi “swimming is for pussies” ushijima - he’s water resistant

bruh so powerful he walks on water

second coming of christ who

IM JUST KIDDING he does swim but we hardly ever see it

legends say (tendou says) he looks rlly awkward doing it and only knows how to doggie paddle

speaking of our homeboy tendou - he loooves spooking the team (and especially you) with scary stories . don’t worry tho - this is all a ploy to get the beeg pirate husband to comfort u at night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he is ur wingman u can count on him. but his suggestions are ridiculous

“Jump off the deck and see if he’ll catch you!” um excuse me- THOU SHALT NOT PUT BIG HUSBAND TO THE TEST

he’s got good intentions...i think…

but everyone literally knows he would dive after you

in other words pirate!ushijima is a softie at heart but goddamn he probably secretly has a pet shark so dont test him or u goin overboard

mafia leader!kita

we are: associate from different group/family

kita highly respects u and yall have been acquainted since u were young with the alliance of ur families

so in a way ur childhood friends but yall do have lil bit of friendly rivalry a bit

arranged marriage whuuuutttt...yeah thats what happened but u love him <3

nobody else knows about ur arranged marriage but you two

POLITE GENTLEMAN <333 !!! HNNNNNNNN his granny raised him right even tho he’s a mafia leader

RICH BOY RICH BOY RICH BOY- ALWAYS DRESSES DASHINGLY AND SMELLS GREAT MMMMMM

he owns the majority of the underground casinos

and has lots of connections with others. countless, might i add.

you on the other hand specialize as an arms dealer so he cherishes your services the most

prob has the traditional tattoos allllll over his back and shoulders w like a dragon or sm and def a fox or kitsune

when u two were little he asked ur favorite flower and GOT THAT TATTOOED ON HIS BACK <3 probably secretly has your initials hidden in there somewhere

u both have a silent understanding of each other and he talks to u more than he does anyone

before he used to smoke but once he figured out that you didn’t like the smell of cigarettes he quit just like that

his underlings, the miya twins are so confused on how kita switches from totally brutal and ruthless to so soft around u

they can’t tease him for it, though, cuz he’d pulverize them

but they want to know more about u,,,you mysterious enigma,,,but kita would kill them if they dared asked about you

so they go to inarizaki’s most secretive informant/cyber mercenary, suna rintarou

and suna knows all about you. he saw you one time and he was curious about who you were and is now rlly scared of you because he dug too deep and you’ve got LOTS of history

he doesn’t dare tell the twins what he found no matter how much they bug him

until they bribe him at just the right price

and when aran finds out and tells kita?? ohhh boy it’s lights out for all three of them

oh my god ,,, would kill for u he loves u so much

one time you were kidnapped and held hostage

bro saw red

MAFIA ANNIHILATION SPEEDRUN ANY % NO GLITCH

he got world record time

wiped out the entire conglomerate behind it - nothing and nobody left behind after that

and of course, made sure you were safe.

yandere? ofc not...i mean...just look at him...so innocent...he would never...sharpening that knife...with splattered blood all over him...

is now joined at the hip with u,,,no matter how much you tell him you’ll be fine now and that you have tons of reliable bodyguards he won’t let it go

“don’t you have to go back to your place?” “this is my duty as both a fellow associate and your future husband.” aww,,,ur so sweet...but BRUH PLEASE GO HOME ARAN IS DOING EVERYTHING OVER THERE

makes sure to build a headquarters DIRECTLY NEXT TO YOURS so that its faster

and it’s not long until he just signs a deal to merge ur factions together (since yall getting married anyways)

and oh my god...ur underground wedding is SO SO PRETTY

absolutely DOESN’T care if he’s smuggling jewels from different countries - he’s having your ring CUSTOM MADE and the way you want it. “the diamond is too small? sure thing, darling, i’ll have it 7 times that size.”

makes sure everything is perfect in ur wedding <333 its very extravagant and even though its not really his style he’ll do anything for you

he absolutely WOULD take your last name if you wanted. FIGHT ME ON THIS

takes you to his private island for ur honeymoon so that the two of you don’t have to worry about work

meanwhile aran is scrambling around the place trying to cover for the both of you

he’s a VERY romantic husband - NEVER takes off his ring even for security. he says its practically a part of him just like you are <3

the ring has a built in tracker connected to an app. possessive? noooo...

in other words this escalated pretty quickly but i aint complaining if it gets me married to kita

--

--EXTRA EXTRA!! other characters’ roles!!--

officer!daichi:

karasuno squadron consists of:

cops: daichi (duh), asahi (mostly patrol, he hates confrontation), tanaka & noya (mostly accompanied by ennoshita), hinata & kageyama

investigators/detectives: sugawara, ennoshita, yamaguchi, tsukishima, kiyoko, yachi

surveillance: narita, kinoshita, tsukishima too

househusband!oikawa:

makki and mattsun are also househusbands

iwaizumi is a malewife fhasodjkasdhf-

ceo!kuroo:

lev is the newbie that walked in on u two-

janet still a bitch

kenma is his fellow ceo buddy. he also owns a multimillion dollar company and kuroo’s and his have a sort-of contract so you see him a lot in meetings

yaku is like one of the top performing managers so whenever yall have branch meetings he’s there

dog hybrid!bokuto:

kuroo is the black neighborhood cat bokuto almost murdered cough cough i did that on purpose yes i did

kenma is also another neighborhood cat. you don’t see him around that often but now that bokuto got jealous he stays far away.

hinata is the orange chihuahua i briefly mentioned

i couldn’t decide whether akaashi would stay human and be his previous owner or also be a cat/dog/owl. so lets say he’s ur human friend that is your bestie and comes over a lot. bokuto likes him, though. still gets jealous a bit.

pirate!ushijima:

tendou is practically is right hand man

the rest of the team have something to give idk how to explain pirate team members okay-

BUT BUT BUT- they do have sea rivals which are the seijoh pirates. you ran into them one day and oikawa thought you were kidnapped (you were, but you liked it there) so he tried to do you justice and failed miserably. ushijima ragdolled him into the ocean when he flirted w you.

mafia!kita:

the twins are something akin to mercenaries basically. or just plain lackeys.

suna is an informant/cyber mercenary. he gathers information about ppl which is how he knew about you. and he’s a hacker lol.

aran is his second-in-command, omimi + ginjima are his bodyguards

a/n: im going to regret posting this