#<-- slew of tags because i want people to see this

[timedyne]

yuzu and citra are dead because the yuzu/citra devs shot themselves in the foot. they continually POSTED footage and updates pertaining to games THAT WEREN'T OUT YET, which gave nintendo actual foothold to take them down for encouraging piracy. this is recorded directly in the legal documents for the case. they also (apparently, this is according to my friend who is more active in the emulation scene than i and i don't know of any recorded proof so take it with a grain of salt) straight up shared links to piracy sites in their discord which is an obvious no-no for any emulator???? and people straight up going on nintendo's OFFICIAL SOCIAL MEDIA POSTS saying "fuck you i'm just going to emulate [insert game here] using yuzu" which is. well. loose lips sink ships.

fuck nintendo and all that, but this is almost entirely on the backs of the devs for being stupid. to any aspiring emulator devs out there: don't post about anything relating to piracy ever, especially don't post about the games THAT YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO HAVE ACCESS TO YET, and wait a while before saying a brand new game is playable on your emulator.

also: they settled out of court. no judge saw the case. this isn't setting any sort of legal precedent. all of your other favorite emulators are fine for now as long as they don't make the same stupid mistakes yuzu was making.

[anexperimentallife]

EDIT: CRISIS AVERTED, THANK YOU!

Interracial US family w/ disabled autistic dad and toddler needs to get to the US for medical treatment

(New post because the old one was getting LONG with the updates. Details are under the "read more" to save your dash, with updates in the notes.)

TL;DR: If I'm going to live long enough to watch our daughter grow up, we need to get back to the US and get set up in a disability-friendly place where I can use my medical benefits.

Although I was already disabled (autism, adhd, and spine, joint, and head injuries), my health was stable--until four bouts of COVID left me immunocompromised, and utterly destroyed my health (including damage to my heart, blood clots that damaged one eye, neurological and joint issues, etc.), and although we started off fine, we've been hammered with one crisis after another, both medical and financial, that no one could have predicted.

Until we have enough to get back to the US, a chunk of whatever comes in has to go towards medical care that can't be put off, so the sooner we can reach critical mass on that, the better.

If you can help, or reblog, or share the links on other platforms, we'd be grateful!

The "Donate to Little or None" Paypal donation link takes the lowest fees, I think. (Kept the same link from when we were fighting to get our daughter's birth certificate fixed so we could get her citizenship affirmed.)

Then there's Ko-Fi:

And my little sister started a GoFundMe for us!

EDIT: The donation links above still work, but I removed the GoFundMe link.

IF YOU WANT ALL THE DETAILS SEE THE "READ MORE."

(There's more in my "rob gets medical" tag if you want a blow by blow account of how we got to this point over the past few years, but this is the gist.)

HOW IT STARTED:

I moved to the Philippines six years ago, after the deaths of my adult sons, in part to make my disability payments stretch further. Shortly afterwards, I was joined by my now-wife @thesurestthing (also from the US) for what was supposed to be a visit, but which turned into a permanent arrangement.

After I got a contract to license an old story for a mobile game (which tripled our income*), we found out we were having a baby, which was fine, because despite my disabilities (autism, adhd, two spine injuries, traumatic brain injury, a herniated esophagus, joint issues, etc.), my health was stable, and thanks to the contract, we were fine financially as well.

HOW IT STARTED GOING DOWNHILL:

Zoey's pregnancy was complicated, requiring two hospitalizations, and our daughter's birth was complicated, too--requiring a C-Section--which tripled our hospital bill. A few weeks after our daughter was born, the aforementioned contract was canceled without warning. THEN, when we tried to register our daughter's birth with the US embassy, we discovered an error on her birth certificate that left her stateless, and which took nearly two years, all our savings, and a fundraiser (thank you, generous people!) to resolve. Combined with medical expenses, that left us in a lot of debt.

A brief summary of went else wrong (leaving a lot out for brevity's sake):

I got COVID three four times during all this, became immunocompromised, and developed a slew of other medical issues (heart damage, eye damage and temporary facial paralysis from blood clots, persistent infections, a worsening of my joint issues, neurological issues, etc.) as a result of Long Covid.

I've had to be hospitalized a couple of times, undergo surgery, and was on an oxygen machine twice--once for an entire month, while I was bedridden. As of 24 January, 2024, I'm still recovering from my fourth bout of covid, which started at the beginning of October 2023.

There's a lot more, but you get the idea. COVID has completely wrecked my health, including tearing up my immune system.

And yes, I'm as fully vaxxed against COVID as one can be in the Philippines, with all available boosters, but again--I'm immunocompromised, plus they don't have the vax for the newest variant here yet. Zoey is vaxxed, also, and as a result, her bout with covid was extremely mild. El isn't vaxxed yet because they won't give the covid vaccine to kids under five here, but she's been able to share Zoey's antibodies from breast-feeding--which is apparently a thing.

The only way we can see for me to stay alive long enough to watch Eleanor grow up is to get back to where I can use my Medicare and VA benefits**.

WHY SO MUCH MONEY?

First, while we're still here, we need to pay for whatever medical care can't be put off. Plus, since I'm now immunocompromised, we have to get LOTS of vaccinations before we have to spend 24 hours or so in crowded planes and airports.

Second, we're going to be arriving with only what we can carry with us on the plane, and we'll need to get into a place near a VA hospital that I can easily get around in while I'm recovering from surgeries and getting various treatments. We'll need to pick up some secondhand household goods, and some kind of used transportation (because, you know, it's the US, where you kind of need a vehicle to get around).

We'll also need enough on top of my and El's disability payments to get by for a couple of months while Zoey looks for work. And all this is while we're still paying off the debt from the stuff I mentioned above.

So we're figuring that unless we catch some very lucky breaks, it'll probably cost between 20K and 36K altogether.

(We can't simply stay with friends when we get back, because literally every single close friend we have in the US with extra room and who lives close to a VA hospital has cats--to which I have a severe anaphylactic reaction. As in my entire respiratory system shuts down, and I have to be rushed to the ER to keep from dying; this has happened more than once. The only way I can be around cats is if I'm on immunosuppressants, and my immune system is ALREADY compromised, so I CAN'T do that.)

So again, if you can kick in, or reblog, or post our crowdfunding links (or the link to this post) on whatever other platforms you use, we'd appreciate it.

(*When I told social security about it, they said I could keep getting disability, too, because licensing IP rights didn't count as work income, and since it was a Moldavian company, it also fell under a special tax clause for getting paid by a foreign company while living overseas, so no taxes on it, either. )

(**VA benefits--I was a cold warrior in 1980s Germany. It was less than forty years after WWII, there was a lot of sabre-rattling--some of it nuclear--and we were there as a deterrent to prevent in Germany the kind of thing that's happening in Ukraine right now. Disclaimer because I'm tired of people accusing me of "invading" folks in the early 1980s when I was a dumb, heavily propagandized pre-Internet kid fixing generators in Europe. I wouldn't join today even if I could.)

[a-polite-melody]

Tumblr is interesting in that I can trawl through the transandrophobia tag and block everyone saying something against using the term, and then months later a whole slew of posts that should have been shown to me are there for me to block now.

Anyway, all that preamble to say it is fucking wild seeing how people say “no transandrophobia isn’t real it’s just x” in such wild and contradicting ways.

“Trans men don’t face misogyny so coming up with a word is silly. It’s just transphobia!”

“All these trans men talking about transandrophobia are missing that the thing they’re facing is just misogyny! Half the time it isn’t even related to their transness so there isn’t transphobia going on!”

Putting all of these beliefs together:

We cannot face misogyny categorically, and yet our experiences mostly fall under the category of misogyny and the transphobia is hardly an intersecting force in what we’re talking about, and yet what we face is just transphobia.

In order to not have people object to how we’re speaking on our issues, we need to stop talking altogether. Because if we talk about it the way some of them want us to it goes against the way the other group of them want us to talk about it.

And while I’m pulling two different sets of criticism together from different sources right now, it should be noted that you can sometimes find someone switching back and forth between these two types of criticism as a tactic to shut down any and all intersectional discussion on transmasc oppression.

[revehae]

last thing. i swear. blame my aquarius mercury.

we need to kill everyone at sm entertainment

[echantedtoon]

Demonstober Day 19 Cupid

In classical mythology, Cupid /ˈkjuːpɪd/ (Latin: Cupīdō [kʊˈpiːdoː], meaning "passionate desire") is the god of desire, love, attraction and affection. 

Tagging: @lavenderdropp @six-eyed-samurai @trancylovecraft @shadyd3ar @cherrysuzaku

@nousija @mspurpl3

Remember if you want to be added to the spooktober taglist lemme know

"You know I've been having some really weird things happen to me ever since my ex dumped me on Valentine's Day last year."

Your friend blinked at you from across the table as he paused mid bite in his burger. Murata blinked at you before slowly lowering said food. "Huh? How so?"

You hadn't been wrong about the weird bad luck you've been having since Valentine's Day last year. Your cheating ex-boyfriend had dumped you over text after ghosting you at the park you were supposed to meet at for a star gazing date and left you to angry cry all the way home. Luckily you hadn't been together long so it only took about two months for you to completely get over him. But ever since that day things have been rather...strange.

It started with your new neighbor. His package had mistakenly been delivered to your house so you went to go return it to him, however as you spoke something pushed you from behind and you ended up slamming painfully into him before you both landed on the floor. In front of his wife. Who went ballistic seeing a stranger on top of her husband. In the end you had a headache from where your heads slammed together, you had to pay for the china that the package contained because your combined weight crushed it, and one of your new neighbors now hate you. Great. 

You chalked it up to a gust of wind at the time before forgetting about it. However there was a slew of other things that happened to you over the next year.

Somehow the resident annoying office playboy got assigned to work with you on a project after your VERY confused boss swore he sent him an email assigning him to someone else. So you had to endure his constant flirts for two weeks. 

You were constantly bumping into people, knocking someone down, or spilling your drink on them and vise versa. Which lead to many, MANY fights, slight coffee burns, money out of your pocket paying for their drinks, and fights from their angry partners. Once you got trapped in an elevator with a pretty girl who happened to be claustrophobic and ended up vomiting from the stress all over your new coat as you attempted to calm her down.  Then there was the time you got stuck in traffic with three flat tires costing you lots of money and the tow truck driver was a creepy older man who kept asking for your number.

However what must've been the most painful blow was the call you got one day while TRYING to fix your broken pc. Your phone wouldn't stop buzzing on the table annoying until you finally got fed up and answered it with a scowl.

"WHAT?!"

"Um...Is this Y/n L/n?", a man's voice asked.

"Yeah? Who's this?" You held your phone with your shoulder as you tried to screw the back of the computer back on. 

"I matched with you on your profile. I wanted to set up a date."

You paused. "What?"

"Your profile? Your Single Me profile. I matched with you yesterday but you never responded-"

You immediately hung up on the guy and blocked him assuming it was either a scam, prank call, or he mistook you for a person with the same name. You didn't have a profile on any dating websites. However after four more calls from different people who asked when you were free for a date. A search of your phone surprised you when you found an app you DEFINITELY never downloaded and logging into said app lead you to a profile with your pictures, interests, and phone number listed.  You immediately deleted the profile and app before taking your phone to the electronics store the next day for a spyware scan. Someone must've hacked into your phone to impersonate you and made the profile but the tech guy told you there wasn't anything wrong.

You still rebooted your phone and added new privacy settings just in case.

It's been a little quiet now. You haven't had any accidents or any weird interactions with anyone else so far for about two months now. So maybe your weird luck involving stupid romcom scenarios was finally over.

"Like every other time I told you about?", you pointed out deadpanned to him.

He shrugged and just went back to eating his burger with a happy hum. "Maybe it was just a funk you were in for a while? Like how some people get burn out of writers block. Nothing's happened to you for a while now."

"I guess you're right. Nothing bad is really happening." You placed you hands down and sighed. "I just hope this isn't some divine sign my love life is going to crap though."

"Cheer up! Being single isn't bad. In fact, it's really awesome. You don't have to worry about anyone else and you have a sweet bachelorette pad!"

Despite yourself you chuckled. Leave it to Murata to make you feel better. "*Sigh* Thanks, Man. It means a lot."

"Of course. You still going to that singles event for Valentine's Day tomorrow?"

"Nah. I'm just taking the day off and eating all the discounted chocolate the day after."

"Hell yeah! Discount chocolate is the best!...Are you sure you're ok though?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"You're holding my hand."

You blinked and looked down only to raise your eyebrows. Your hand had  been by your plate. Not laid on Murata's hand. Immediately you pulled away from your friend. "I'm sorry. I must've moved it without thinking." 

He laughed and shrugged it off. "No worries. We always do that. Did you see the new ScorpionMan movie?"

Guess your weird luck wasn't over yet. 

Didn't help that Valentine's Day was tomorrow. But you had the day off so you were just going to sleep in, order take out, and just play video games all day! A perfect day for someone like you and then just buy a lot of discounted chocolate the next day. Saying goodbye to your friend, you couldn't help but feel like someone was watching you..but you shrugged it off as you walked all the way home. You didn't pay any attention to anyone as you got back to your apartment and got inside. Doing your normal night routine before going to bed and nodding off.

"Hey! Wake up!"

You snorted..but went back to sleep.

"OOOH! Come on! Wake up already!! We're already behind an hour!"

Something shoved your shoulder hard enough to turn you on your stomach. THAT woke you up with a snort and you pushed yourself up onto your arms. Blinking tired eyes as green eyes beamed at you.

"Oh finally! I was worried you'd never wake up!," a green eyed woman with long pink hair tied into braids smiled widely at you. "Do you want breakfast first?"

....you slowly blinked. 

"Oh nevermind. We can get something to go so it'll be faster! First we need to get you up and ready for the day!" Out of nowhere she produced a long paper with a list written on it. "Our first stop is a speed dating event. It'll be fast and you might get a few people's numbers! Then there's a party your coworker is hosting. I know you got the day off but if you stay for a little bit you might connect with someone you already know! And who knows where that could lead?!" She threw her arms off in a positive cheerleader pose.

She continued to babble on about something as your tired self sat up and yawned before stretching out your back and rubbing at your face. Your tired mind didn't register the fully grown woman with two fluffy white dove wings fluttering from her back for a long time as she continued to babble on and gesturing at nothing.... Before you ever slowly blinked at her. And then the reality hit your tired mind.

THERE WAS A STRANGER IN YOUR HOME!!

The reality shocked you awake staring at her before you yelled scrambling back and falling off the bed. Your actions and the thud of your body hitting the floor made her pause and watch as you shot back up to your feet in a panic and grabbing the nearest thing  to arm yourself. Which happened to be your alarm clock. You grabbed it pulling your arm back like you were gonna throw a baseball at you and pointed with your other hand.

"WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU IN MY APARTMENT?!"

She continued to blink at you before she gasped in realization. "OH MY GOSH!! I didn't introduce myself to you! HI!!" She waved an arm at you. "I'm Cupid and I'm here to find you that perfect soulmate!"

You stared at her. "...What?!"

"Don't worry! I know I haven't been able to get but on this day my powers are off the charts! I'll be able to find you a partner in no time!"

"...Ok..Did Murata put you up to this? Seriously who are you!? If you don't leave right now I'll call the police!" 

She squeaked out dropping the list before holding up her hands. "Wait, wait, wait! Please don't panic! I'm telling you the truth I swear!"

"Yeah right!"

"Look! I'll prove it to you!" In an instant her tiny fluffy wings snapped open and flapped rapidly. Your face fell in shock as she lifted three feet off the ground, twirled once, and then floated back down. "SEE?! I'm totally just here to help!"

....Clank-

The metal clock fell out of your hand as you continued to stare before you pointed at her. "You're-..." Your hands smacked your face. "This can't be real. I must have gone nuts!"

"NOPE!! Im real and here to save your love life!! I've tried to get it right for an entire year now but nothing I tried seemed to work. But I'm sure we'll have better luck today!"

.....Wait a second.

"Wait." You scowled. "You mean YOU'RE the one responsible for all the bad luck I've been having!?"

She paused blinking at your face before guilty tapping her fingers together. "W-Well...I wouldn't call it bad luck exactly."

"Do you know what you've put me through for the last year? Because of you my neighbor hates me!" You scowled harder crossing your arms. "And I lost so much money fixing things. Not to mention all the wasted money on all the spilt food. I still have scars on my lap from coffee burns!"

"Um..Well may-maybe bumping into people wasn't the best way to go about it-"

"Especially if they're already married or got a girlfriend!" You frowned harder at her puppy dog like face. "Why? Just-...Why have you been putting me through so much? You couldn't help anyone else?"

"Oh no. I could. But I saw how heartbroken you were last year after that nasty break up and I wanted to help. I don't why I haven't been having luck though. I'm supposed to help someone find love and you don't seem to love anything no matter how hard I try."

You blinked... before sighing and reaching out to facepalm. "Well that's where you're wrong. I do love things and people."

Immediately she literally up. "So you did find someone to love!?"

"Yes. Multiple people."

"Aw.~ A poly relationship!"

"Uh...No." She blinked as you gestured to her. "Hasn't it ever occurred to you that there's other kinds of love besides romantic? I can love someone and find fulfillment in loving my friends. My family. My pet cat. I still love all of them just as much as I would someone romantically."

Her eyes widened at you. "I..Never thought of that before."

"It's not that either. I have love for other things too. I love reading and going on walks and doing my other hobbies. I love my job. I love eating at my favorite restaurant. I love things. But most of all-" You pressed a hand to your chest. "I love myself. And as long as I love myself, I'll be perfectly fine. There's so much to love than just the overrated romantic aspect of it. Don't you think?"

She stood there for a long moment thinking before nodding. "You're right. I just never thought of it that way." She frowned like a kicked puppy again. "Now I feel really bad about everything I put you through. I'm so sorry."

"Hey. It's all good. Just promise me you won't push me into anyone again."

She giggled and nodded happily. "I promise!"

"Good...Hey. While you're here, do you wanna play a video game with me?"

[nadas-dirthalen]

Were those just theories in the Titan/ Lyrium War post?! I need to know all the things!!

Half theories! I've seen a few codices that I've been thinking on for a long time. So here's my reason behind why I used the tags I did on that post.

This is very, very long. But it's the best collection I can cobble together of all the reasons I think these things.

Beware: HORROR OF HORMAK story spoilers at the bottom of this post!

"Mythal and Elgar'nan are both cited as mining/carving slain titans for their lyrium."

In the light of the veilfire, the runes seem to shift, coiling and uncoiling like snakes. A thunderous voice shatters the stillness, shouting: "Hail Mythal, adjudicator and savior! She has struck down the pillars of the earth and rendered their demesne unto the People! Praise her name forever!" For a moment, the scent of blood fills the air, and there is a vivid image of green vines growing and enveloping a sphere of fire. The vision grows dark. An aeon seems to pass. Then the runes crackle, as if filled with an angry energy. A new vision appears: elves collapsing caverns, sealing the Deep Roads with stone and magic. Terror, heart-pounding, ice-cold, as the last of the spells is cast. A voice whispers: "What the Evanuris in their greed could unleash would end us all. Let this place be forgotten. Let no one wake its anger. The People must rise before their false gods destroy them all."

The Titans are referred to as "the pillars of the earth" often enough that it's made it onto the Dragon Age wiki. Mythal slew at least one Titan and then gave that Titan's demesme (lands or domain) to the People (the ancient elves). The ending text of this codex makes it sound like this was later something regretted, if not by Mythal, then by the other elves of the time.

You can also see PLENTY of Mythal statues in the Deep Roads, particularly during Trespasser — curiously, with wolves always guarding the doors.

Ghilan'nain's statues feature almost as prominently in these places.

The pages of this book—memory?—describe a monument made in a single afternoon by a thousand-thousand toiling servants swarming over a lump of fallen stone as large as a collapsed mountain. By the end of the day, the stern figure of Elgar'nan stares down into a valley, carved out from the foothills of the rock. The slaves have disappeared. Light radiates from the eidolon's narrowed eyes and its open, snarling mouth. "Hail Elgar'nan, first among the gods! Mark his victory eternal!"

I take this to mean Titans/lyrium because of how widespread it is that Elgar'nan threw the sun into the earth and then brought it back out. In ancient elvhen, the words for sun (elgara) and spirit (elgar) are almost the exact same. This could mean bringing spirits (or bringing spirits against their will) into the Earth (the Titans' domain).

"It is very possible the evanuris made their own bodies out of lyrium."

This one is more theorycrafting than anything, and I'll direct you to this video where a lot of things started clicking into place for me.

But I want to add this codex to the discussion as well.

Many of these pages are filled with sketches of elven statues matching the ones found in the area, along with notes and what look like attempts to practice Qunlat: Trying to remember that old bedtime song about Mythal. My mother sang it the night before the darkspawn came for my clan. It's the last time I ever heard her voice. Ir sa tel'nal, Mythal las ma theneras. Ir san'a emma. Him solas evanuris. Da'durgen'lin, Banal malas elgara. Bellanaris, bellanaris.

Now, for the purposes of this discussion, we're going to ignore the provided translation, because we know that translation is wrong in a few spots. From my best understanding, this is as close as I can translate it.

I am [one] [not/never] [nal], Mythal grants [you/me] dreams, I [am/was] [here] [within], [Becomes/Became] Solas evanuris. Little stone [boy], Nothing [given/granted] to [the sun], Forever, forever.

Everything [in brackets] is an educated guess, the best as I can make it.

If I've gotten the translation close to right, this describes Solas, a spirit that is called to take the shape of a "little stone boy," becoming one of the Evanuris at Mythal's behest.

"They made unliving champions with no need to breathe to fight on their behalf."

A codex entry!

The pages of this book—memory?—show a narrow plateau on top of a mountain, Two armored figures—one in gold, one in black—are fighting in the snow. Steel flickers so fast the air hums. Blood dots the ground. They do not stop for breath. The one in black makes no sound as a blade parts his throat. "Mythal, in her wisdom, interceded in an argument between Elgar'nan and Falon'Din. With clever words, she convinced them to settle their grievance through a battle of their champions. Elgar'nan and Falon'Din agreed, and set their champions against each other rather than declare war among the gods. May those knights long be remembered, and Mythal's wisdom be praised."

Worth noting, this codex is titled "Duel of a Hundred Years."

These things aren't human! They bleed, but don't breathe. They never stop fighting. This duel lasts 100 years.

"Ghilan'nain's lab is fueled by lyrium that causes those awful mutations."

I don't have screencaps to pull quotes from, but it's yellow-green lyrium at the center of the part of Ghilan'nain's lab in Horror of Hormak that monsters are coming out of, and this lyrium is what's exploded to destroy the lab and all its creatures.

Honorable Mentions:

• Andruil's entire story with her trips to the Void make me think of the abyss being the deep underground (and the endless sky very deep underground), and Mythal sapping Andruil's strength and storing her memories makes me think of lyrium.

• Solas talking about Falon'din in the Temple of Mythal makes me think that amassing more worshippers may well have meant creating them from Mythal's lyrium stores.

INQUISITOR: Do you know any legends? SOLAS: It is said Falon’Din’s appetite for adulation was so great, he began wars to amass more worshippers. The blood of those who wouldn’t bow low filled lakes as wide as oceans. Mythal rallied the gods, once the shadow of Falon’Din’s hunger stretched across her own people. It was almost too late. Falon’Din only surrendered when his brethren bloodied him in his own temple. INQUISITOR: Did ancient elves believe all their gods so terrifying? SOLAS: Yes. I believe they did.

SO YEAH!! Lyrium war! Lyrium war, I say!!! It's on my Veilguard bingo card for sure—either as an explanation of what came before, something that will begin in Veilguard, or both.

[anincompletelist]

[ vol i | vol ii | vol iii | vol iv | vol v ]

firstprince fic recs: hurt/comfort edition! :D

some of these have more angst than others before the comfort, so please be sure to check the tags! but I tried to choose some of my personal favorites that I always return to when I need something comforting to read <3

as always, please remember to leave kudos and a comment if you enjoyed the fic or show support in other ways, and be kind! mind the tags and if you come across something you dislike, please kindly (and quietly) move on.

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talk me down | seafloor | G | 2k

It never gets easier, but with Alex, it’s less exhausting. [Henry gets triggered, and Alex is there for him.]

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Mr. Body Pillow | @inexplicablymine | T+ | 21k

Two boys cuddling on a couch right on top of each other because they are in fact very gay™. Inviting over a complete stranger for cuddles because you are touch starved might be the worst idea Henry has ever had, or the best.

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the clementine thing | @saintlynomenclature | T+ | 6k

And, really, it doesn’t matter whether or not Alex explains it to Liam and the rest of his friends. They’ve never really discussed it between themselves through the years. Slowly, Alex had gone from asking Would you please peel this for me? to Please? to silently extending the citrus without any comment at all, just a soft smile. It’s one of the things that make them Alex-and-Henry; the silent conversations and the contentment in each other’s company. Now, as Alex starts to flourish through his position on the lacrosse team, his slew of AP classes, and his role in student government, getting him to slow down at all is a feat. The only way that Henry can do it, guaranteed, is by one of those innocuous little fruits. There’s nothing Alex can’t do—surely, he could peel a fucking orange if he felt so inclined—but Henry delights in being able to do this for him. [Five times Henry shares a clementine with Alex, and one time Alex returns the favor]

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sea of endless hope | acastle | E | 85k

Henry watches Alex, the man he adores and loves so ardently, and the moment is palpable, delicate, and yet too large for even the sky to contain. He watches Alex, and in that moment, he wants to be his husband, the ache and urge of it almost unbearable. “Daddy!” Nena takes Henry’s hands, and he looks down at her, the angel who had saved him, and he smiles at her, quiet with emotion, letting her lead him into place. He would follow her, follow Alex, anywhere. (Henry, Alex, and their daughter, and the first years of coming home, forever.)

you can see it with the lights out | weathersriley | G | 3k

Alex thinks of the water. Of feeling like he might never reach the surface, might never reach Henry. But Henry is here; Alex remembers falling asleep in the glow of his presence, and beneath his shaking fingers, Henry’s chest is warm and his heart is beating steadily and Henry is here. Alex is afraid, but Henry is here.

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I ask you how you're doing (and I let you lie) | @matherines | M | 6k

The first time Henry sees it happen, he knows instantly that it is not the first time it has ever happened. They’re sitting in the living room of the brownstone, the two of them surrounded by their favorite people in the world, a night of board games long abandoned in favor of mocking the eighth season of Game of Thrones. “God, don’t you have an off switch?” June groans, laughing as she chucks a piece of popcorn in Alex’s direction while he rambles passionately about the international legal implications of the Red Wedding. Nora cackles. “Whatever you do to thank Henry for putting up with you, it’s not nearly enough. Jesus, I can’t believe he put a ring on your loud mouth.” [Or: Alex is fine. Really, he’s fine — he just wants Henry to stay, even if Alex is too much. Henry just wants his husband back.]

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Aftercare | @whimsymanaged | M | 2k

When Alex has an intense hookup without aftercare, he finds himself on his best friend Henry’s doorstep in desperate need of looking after.

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Dream a Little Dream of Me | @affectionatelyrs | T+ | 9k

They’re no longer in the garden. There’s no grass, no flowers, no fireflies. Only stars—hundreds upon hundreds of them in an otherwise vast sea of darkness, dazzling and twinkling and here. “How—” “They came here for you,” Alex says, his voice light. “It’s what you desired. So, I asked them to come and shine. Just for you.” “But won’t the world need them?” Alex shrugs and simply says, “You need them more.” [Or, Five times Alex visits Henry in his dreams during his dark days, and one time he does so in the real world (and stays)]

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Burnt Offering | justicefortheJ14magazine | G | 9k

Alex’s hair care routine is elaborate, he struggles to let Henry help him, and he learns some important things about receiving love through service. [A look at FirstPrince’s love through each love language: Acts of Service]

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I would stay forever (if you say don't go) | @coffeecatsme | T+ | 6k

The words echo in his head, unbidden. The words from another life, practically another universe, shoved inside the small walls of a gilded cage, hidden in a room in London with shuttered windows and locked doors. A boy’s voice Henry still remembers ten years later, when he doesn’t quite remember what he had for lunch the day before. A boy’s voice on a phone that understood him better than every member of his family, even an ocean, a continent, three thousand miles away. A boy’s voice that told him in no uncertain terms that it was okay if he wasn’t okay, that allowed him to pave a path until he was. To open a new shelter in New York City, Henry needs to interview a host of potential lawyers to hire. He doesn't expect one of them to be the boy that saved his life ten years ago.

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Don't Give Up Your Ghost | @nocoastposts | G | 1k

Healing is not linear.   When Henry first heard this phrase, he brushed it off as a cliche. An evergreen proverb for those who didn’t know what else to say. As his anger morphed into crippling sadness, he began to understand the sentiment. Henry never knows when the grief will become all-consuming. A perfectly fine day can shatter instantly, with no preamble or warning given. The most trivial things - a scent, a laugh, a song - can utterly and completely devour him. Learning to accept the ebb and flow was not easy. He knows that the dark days will never cease completely. He also knows that Alex will brave the storm with him, time and time again. Henry is eternally grateful for this. [Or, Henry reflects on some common platitudes of grief - then and now.]

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outta luck to spend | potentiallyunloveable | T+ | 9k

“Nora ignorin’ ya?” a voice says from beside him, and Henry startles, turns to his left, is suddenly frozen. The man who’s slid into the seat next to him, silently, without Henry noticing, is quite possibly the most beautiful man Henry’s ever seen in his life. He’s got the widest smile, sweet dimples, soft brown skin and impossibly long eyelashes. He’s wearing a fucking Stetson, and Henry feels like the wind’s been knocked out of him. Or: Henry (lost, hopeless) meets Alex (bright, hopeful), in a bar in Texas.

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thunderstruck | @wordsofhoneydew | T+ | 2k

“Alex, slow down.” Henry pulls away softly from Alex’s taut grasp. “Are you feeling alright now?” “Y-yeah, I think I’m okay.” Alex smiles back meekly at Henry’s heedful gaze. Alex feels like he has gotten way ahead of himself. “I'm just a huge astraphobic, ever since I was little. I guess I never grew out of it.” [or, Alex has a fear of thunder so Henry comforts him]

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fell apart (in the usual way) | @hypnostheory | E | 12k

By the time they’ve reached the landing, Henry is shaking his arm out of Alex’s grip. “The picture of grace under fire,” he says, the words snapping from his mouth. Alex blinks at him, before his face smooths into its professional mask. “You can’t pick a fight with the Queen’s equerry, no matter how averse you are to the concept of the monarchy.” Alex looks Henry up at down, his mouth forming a tight line. “I don’t pick fights, Your Majesty,” he says, adjusting his grip on Henry’s suitcase. Henry can’t help but laugh at the ridiculousness of that statement. “Shaan called me a few weeks ago to go over every single thing that made you miserable about the holidays. It was a very long phone call.” Henry doesn’t doubt that. “I’m going to help you avoid as many of those items as possible.” [Henry is a mess around the holidays, and he's expecting to have a tremendously horrid time without Shaan. Fortunately, Alex has plans to make his Christmas both merry and bright.]

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ocean waves | seafloor | E | 10k

Henry Fox wakes up with a toothache one morning, and has a lot of feelings about certain things for days afterwards.

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I'd hold you as the water rushes in | @saintlynomenclature | M | 11k

“—lex. Alex.” Fuck. Where had his mind gone? Alex snaps his eyes to Henry’s, forcing his attention back from where it had drifted. “I’m listening, I’m listening. What were you saying?” Anyone else would probably be offended, or would just laugh at the clearly conflicting statements that had flown thoughtlessly out of his mouth. Instead, Henry’s brow crinkles, lips downturning as he scans Alex’s face. “Are you alright? You’ve been acting strange all night.” Those blue eyes are much easier to deal with through FaceTime. Alex has to look away from them, less he caves and spills everything to Henry. He pastes a smile on, “Fantastic, Your Highness. All this bubbly is going to my head, the sugar’ll get me in the morning.” [Or, Alex drops on New Year's Eve]

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never be so polite (you forget your power) | Standinginmoonlight | M | 6k

The one where Arthur Fox leaves letters for his children.

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while you were sleeping (I fell in love) | @kill8a | M | 3k

As their relationship progresses, Alex notices that Henry’s sleeping habits start to progress as well. Notably, more naps, less insomnia, and a knack for falling asleep at any hour of the day.

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that's all for now!

hurt/comfort is one of my all time favorite tropes, so feel free to rec me some if they aren't on this list, or to reach out with ideas for other rec lists in the future! <3

-- sarah / anincompletelist xx

[geraldthellama]

Bowuigi Corpse Bride AU Lore Post

So I said I would probably make this and while I thought about making this into a fanfic and making ya'll read that, I decided that I need to commit to the other three (two and a half?) Mario fanfic ideas I have. So if anyone wants to make a full blown fic or whatever with this AU, feel free (but tag me ofc because I've got to see it).

(This will not be short, just a quick warning that this is a commitment).

This AU is very loosely based off the actual movie. Instead of them being in the underworld, they're just in a haunted house that Boo lost to Bowser in a game of poker, and instead of being a corpse (as the name suggests), Luigi is just a slightly annoying boo. Him and Polterpup are the only ones that inhabit the mansion, and, with the house completely abandoned, it's probably going to stay that way.

In this world, ghosts only stay after some massive traumatic death. Problem is, Luigi has no recollection of how he died, he just knows he hit his head and a little while later awoke, a ghost that's unable to be seen, heard, and is completely alone as a newly-deceased. Aside from the yipping ghost dog at his feet (Luigi has always been afraid of both ghosts and dogs).

As a ghost, Luigi originally spawns (spawns?) into this world with little ghostly abilities. Living beings can't see or hear him and he doesn't have the power to manipulate objects or people in any way. He is essentially a specter, watching the lives of other people for years until, eventually, it's abandoned, and the Peasley family mansion (one of many, that is) is gambled away to King Boo.

But, King Boos already got his own slew of creepy haunted mansions, and, frankly, this one is haunted by a ghost he can't stand. A ghost that hasn't been able to speak to someone for around a decade. A chatty ghost that hasn't been able to speak to someone for over a decade. He's not exactly torn up about parting with it.

Bowser, the poor thing, is on attempt...

Attempt... 2 hundred... something.

(at least 4 proposals a year, for around 20 years... that's...)

Let's just say, Peach does and has not wanted Bowser for a long ass time, and it really doesn't help his self esteem that he's still being thwarted by a plumber that's old enough to be his dad and uses a cane. He really can't understand what Peach sees in him, especially considering she still looks like a youthful 20/30-something into her 60s. Frankly, it's unfair. He's got money, kids (some really awesome ones too), power, looks (he thinks so at least), and isn't 3 pudding cups away from dementia.

What he hasn't got, until right now at least, is an awesome mansion, specially built for human(oid) creatures. Maybe she just didn't like gothic castle architecture? Maybe, as Boo suggests, he just has to get her scared enough to fall into his arms for safety. He's got this all planned out.

Boo did not specify that the "ghostly inhabitants" of this mansion were a hyperactive ghost dog and naive plumber. He didn't think it was important information at the time.

So, when Bowser is plotting and practice-proposes (does he really need more practice?) to the striking blue eyes of a, surprisingly, human painting, the last thing he expects is to be met with a ghoulish grin.

Barely ghoulish, because, god, the thing is bright. The smile and the bio-(bio?)-luminescent energy it's attached to. For a ghost who's wearing bloodied bandages and has been dead for 30 lonely years, he's surprisingly optimistic.

"Really?! And you're not even a boo!" :D

He's very optimistic, in fact, because he's willing to believe that this complete stranger might just be his ticket out of this wall-papered purgatory. He died meeting up with his forbidden love, after all, so it must be a sign. He does not hesitate to shove that ring on his finger, even if his new fiance looks hesitant (he might be naive enough to go with it, but he's not blind). He's convinced the two will make it work.

Luigi is... very tired of looking at the same things everyday. Now, he can attach to his new fiance, who's only slightly hesitant to engage with him, (and is not bad looking at all, in Luigi's opinion). Together, the two can actually have a life together. Luigi was only 25 when he died, and he was far too shy then to do any adventuring. The most rebellious thing the man had ever done was sneak out.

Man, look where that ended him.

For Luigi, this is his opportunity to live the life he wasted was robbed of.

And the guys got kids! How awesome is that?

Bowser is not liking the new pets at his side. One never stops yipping and yapping and one is a dog. Luigi is... fine. From a distance. The problem is that they physically can't get any. As long as Luigi is attached to him, consider them hand cuffed. This stupid, green boo is crimping his style, and any game he had with Peach is virtually ruined when he's got his "fiance" clinging to his side like he's the best thing since breathing air.

At least Luigi appreciates his kids. The ghost obviously has some taste (of course he does, he chose him for pete's sake), and Junior and the rest seem to like the ghoul enough... Even if Junior isn't completely sure that Luigi is a ghoul. Both Luigi and Junior agree that boos are scary.

Maybe, after some hard self-reflection (with Luigi close and present, of course), and some growing emotional intimacy and openness, Bowser begins to kind of, perhaps tolerate Luigi. Just a little. Just enough to find his stupid quirks endearing and just enough to start to think that maybe he's always been too good for Peach, anyway. Maybe he should be with someone who appreciates him and loves his family. It's not like her and Mario had ever had kids in their relationship, and her not wanting kids is kind of a deal breaker.

Bowser's newfound attention on Luigi is driving everyone else nuts, though. Boos barely seen the man since his unfortunate run in with the green leach and no one else at their poker table is any good. At this rate, Boos not even satisfied winning Peasley's riches off him anymore. Occasionally, a guy just wants to lose, y'know? Boo hates only one thing more than Peasley whining about the consequences of his gambling addiction, and that's boredom. He misses when the Koopa King spent all his time plotting against the old-ass plumber. At least then he showed his face at their meetings.

And when Boo finally brings up his grievances, because he deserves to rant, Peasley seems... nervous. Boo loves nervousness.

"There's a... human boo... in the mansion I gave you..?"

"One, you didn't give it to me, you lost, fair and square. Two, yeah, and he's just about the chattiest thing I've ever met. All dressed up in a white suit, the pretentious-"

At that, Peasley turns about as pale as a ghost. Well, if that were possible, considering he's a legume. Suddenly, he's got some important things he has to do somewhere else.

This poker table is looking weak.

When Peasley asks Bowser to meet at the mansion, Bowser warns he can't come alone. It's a stretch to get the green ghost to go back with him, and as much as Bowser wants to tell him "you're coming with me, whether you like it or not", he can't bring himself to say it. Instead, he convinces Luigi that it's a quick stay. Essentially, a welfare visit on the old house and a quick meeting with an old friend. Luigi's narrowly convinced.

Stepping back onto that porch brings back a lot of old memories for the human. Few of them anything good in retrospect.

But he does want to see his painting again. He always did cherish that painting. He's sure Bowser will too, right?

Is that painting a good memory for Bowser? He wonders.

It was all those years ago that a young Peasley gifted him that painting. Like him, he had been optimistic and in love. Even if his rich, snobby parents weren't a fan of the human, they had an entire life ahead of them. Peasley had made him a beautiful painting. It was the one part of the house Luigi felt was his. A good memory.

He never expected to be greeted by the same image he had all those years ago. Peasley, now older, stood in front of the painting. His face now wasn't proud or love-struck or whatever expression he had had then (Luigi can barely remember Peasley's face until just now), he looked somber. It was a rare occasion that Luigi wasn't green, and his teal glow seemed to throw Bowser off.

And divert Peasley's attention away from the miserable painting and over to the ghost, who was nervously twiddling his thumbs with a sympathetic look in his eyes.

It's not long before Bowser realizes that this meeting was never about him, and he feels more awkward than anything else...

Except that Polterpup has been on edge since the moment he saw the bean (now) king. Has he ever seen the dog not wag it's tail at someone?

Immediately, the older man apologizes. Things were never meant to end up how they did. He tried his best to help when he could.

Luigi's not angry, how could he be? Luigi's fall was an accident.

Peasley says he didn't know Luigi had stuck around, and if he had, he thinks he would have done things differently. He would have at least had the place cleaned instead of just letting it rot.

(So Peasley abandon the mansion? The perfectly good mansion for no reason, leaving Luigi alone.)

And, of course, Peasley's sorry for not telling Mario or his parents about what happened to him.

(HUH?)

He insisted that he waited for hours with Luigi, hoping he'd recover with enough gauze. The man told him it was a lost cause. If he could have saved him, he would have.

Hours?

"I was unconscious for hours?"

It came out as barely a whisper.

"I stayed almost the entire night. As long as I could."

Bowser didn't know boos could turn so many colors, especially that quickly. Bowser didn't think Luigi even had it in him to be anything less than smiley, especially completely enraged.

Luigi had never been more angry in his life (death).

Even Peasley's insistence that "You don't understand what they'd have done to me if they'd known I went against their wishes!" fell on deaf ears.

When Luigi's aura finally finished raving, Peasley had backed away from the now red ghost. Again, Luigi recognized the position they were in;

One of them backing up, away from the painting and towards the basement stairs. How could Peasley forget that door never closed all the way? It had only been the exact thing that killed Luigi 30 years ago. The exact thing that, of course, Peasley hadn't fixed.

Luigi swears he didn't push him, even in that state. Bowser believes him, only because the still angry and unaware Luigi yelled angrily down the stairs: "You better not die here, because I'll make your death hell!"

If they both hadn't just watched Peasley fucking die, Bowser would have kinda been into it.

It took Luigi a second to realize that even if his own fall had been an unlucky hit, Peasley wasn't 25 anymore. And he wasn't responding. His red hue didn't last long, especially when Polterpup no longer seems threatened (and Bowser notices that the bean king no longer seems to be breathing).

"What did I do?"

Bowser suggests fleeing the crime scene, which normally isn't his move, but he'd rather not be tied to the murder of a fellow royal. Luigi shakes his head.

This is his fault. And as angry as he still is at Peasley, he can't flee what he's done. Not in a right conscience. Not like what Peasley did to him. Luigi suffered enough sitting in that mansion alone for 30 years, and, as much as revenge tastes sweet, a small part of him still cares. Had he lived, Peasley and him would have had a life after all.

But he hadn't lived, did he.

Bowser can't remember a time ever seeing Luigi's color look quite as dull as it did then.

Playing with his engagement ring, Luigi thinks back on the part of the man he loved. Peasley never did buy him the ring, like he had hoped. Luigi remembers getting himself all excited over the possibility of a scenic proposal as they walked through the flower garden of the mansion. He had gifted him a painting. Which was almost as good.

He couldn't even count how many times he had stood and looked at that painting, thinking:

Was it worth it?

An apprehensive smile comes onto his face. A nostalgic smile. A somber one.

Doesn't really matter, does it? He'd never know if it was worth it in the end. This was how it ended up. Luigi had always believed that fate is what had brought him and Peasley together, considering everything else had lined them up for failure. Fate was what brought him here. What kept him here.

Who is he to drag down others?

He returns Bowser's ring.

"I'm sorry."

Bowser never deserved to have him weigh him down.

"I wasted my life chasing after a family I never got, and then spent my death doing the exact same thing."

Bowser awkwardly matches Luigi's bitter laugh.

"I lived my life, be it a short one, but you deserve to live yours."

Luigi pats the ring on his hand.

"I hope she likes it." He smiles. He means it. Peach sounds wonderful.

Tears prick Bowser's eyes, and all because...

He never did tell Luigi about him and Peach, did he? He can't help but laugh. Tears streaming down his face kinda laugh. The laugh you only get once a year kind of laugh.

"You spent, what? Maybe five non-consecutive years chasing after a family? Try twenty!"

Luigi's eyebrow goes up. This is supposed to be a super emotional goodbye and this goobers laughing? On about his conquest to marry Peach (who, apparently, is already married) and make his picturesque life. Luigi can't help but laugh, because it's so stupid that Bowser's laughing about this right now.

"Her and her stupid, human, mustachioed husband Mario have been kicking my ass for decades. I promise you, boo, you weren't ever getting in the way of anything."

Mario?!

"Mario?" (!)

"You heard of him?"

The excitement in Luigi's eyes (and aura) is obvious.

"My brother's name is Mario!"

With a look of determination, Bowser promises he'll tell Luigi the story of all his and Mario's exploits if he does him two favors.

Leaves this, frankly, ugly and decrepit mansion with him. Because this story needs atmosphere.

Puts the ring back on his finger. Because how else is everybody going to know they're engaged?

Luigi gives a grin.

He looks down the stairs. What about doing his due-diligence?

"I promise you, boo, if fate brought you and Peasley together, and pushed you down those stairs, and brought us together, and then pushed him down the stairs, fate is on your side."

Luigi's lips are still pursed.

"And it's almost sunrise," Bowser points out.

"So?"

"Well, we've waited almost all night, seems like a fair amount of time to me. It's obviously a lost cause."

At that, Luigi begins laughing. Not quite Bowser's guttural, teary laugh, but certainly a cackle. Enough to turn his aura back to a vibrant green, just like before. Enough to make him hunch over and take some (not really) much needed gulps of air.

When the laughing dies down to a hurt giggle, Bowser assures him that:

"You didn't kill him, Weeg."

No. I guess he didn't, did he?

Looking down the stairs one last time, (his death completely bloodless, the lucky bastard), Luigi's brows furrow for a second and he twiddles his thumbs.

If Luigi's learned one thing from being a condemned ghost, it's that you should take every chance you get.

The bottom of the stairs don't look so intimidating now.

"I...

I forgive you."

Maybe that is all Peasley deserves.

Luigi deserves to have another chance. And maybe Peasley does too, maybe he'll find one in the next lucky winner of poker. Someones gotta replace his spot at the table.

Bowser shares that he certainly deserves a mother to his children, and he's already got a quality candidate who's proved he's got what it takes. ("One who cooks, cleans, can't call in sick, die, and is pretty good looking! I hit the jackpot!")

Maybe, at the very least, Luigi deserves to see his brother one last time.

And maybe a few more times after that, for good measure.

Anyways so the original plan was just to have either Luigi and Bowser straight up immediately abandon the crime scene (not really crime scene) or have Luigi sit in the mansion forever and live out a miserable existence.

But I couldn't do that to my boys now could I. (But Peasley still gets abandoned because screw Peasley I hate that little bean man /j).

This wasn't meant to turn out in the format it did but, y'know, it did. Just know this isn't brief but also isn't comprehensive. I might (big emphasis on might) make a shorter headcanon post on this, but we'll see.

I hope you enjoyed. And sorry for the length, I am not known and will never be known for being concise.

[lorelune]

hey fellas and folks i have been meaning to write something up about this but haven't known where to start or where i'll end up. but i DO feel like it deserves addressing.

(having my joker moment joker moment)

i really love this niche. i found a home in it during a very difficult time in my life, and have found many friends and lasting irl connections from the writings shared and conversations had. this place is so incredibly, INCREDIBLY dear to me. despite going through many horrors (tm) while in this community, i continue to stay because there is a lot about it that i love.

however, in the last... i don't know, year or so? there has been such an abundance of discourse, gossip and drama both publicly and privately that has exhausted me to no end. these things have always existed, they always will, but in the past year they have felt so draining and despairing that it has made finding the same comfort and joy in this community is hard. a lot of times, impossible!

one of the things that genuinely makes me SO sad is the tags. i made most of my lasting friendships in this niche but seeing a writing in the tags that i enjoyed and dming the author and shouting together. i have found so many great writers in the tags, and i still crawl around them today looking for fic!! HOWEVER. i find it difficult, not just because of the abundance of vague smut-related comphet posts with a slew of character names underneath from unrelated fandoms (to each there own but it isn't a posting style i enjoy!) but moreso because of the INSANE number of posts by antis that get thrown into the tags. main tags, character tags, x reader tags. it is so deeply disheartening to be looking for fic to enjoy and get jump scared by a posts saying horrible things about those who enjoy dark content. respectfully if you're above the age of eighteen and looking for writing on tumblr dot gov, i HIIIIGHLYY recommend using your literacy to first read ANY article or study summary about human psychology and sexuality and why fantasy does not equal what someone actual desires! signed a sex-repulsed ace spec mf who writes and enjoys smut. hate to use myself as example, but i hate even more to see folks in the tags be puritanical and pro-censorship under the guise of progressive ideology.

i want to say that there are parties within this niche that are CONSISTENTLY at the center of drama and conflict. no matter what fandom, no matter the url changes and lurking, they are there and its the same mfs. this is a complete vague, as i'm sure the parties in involved in the targeted harassment and ensuing drama do not know who i am, nor know that i know. but i DO <3, and so do plenty of other writers in our niche who have politely blocked and left you alone. do us all a fucking favor and do the same, instead of instigating harassment and being hateful cunts.

in this vein, in my closer circle, i know that these events (especially in the last six months) have caused folks to become conspiratorial and assume bad faith. i understand this is a protective measure because folks have gone through the wringer. however it makes me so sad to see what is often folks who likely do not know any context or horrors of the community, be painted so poorly in casual conversations when most of the time, communication is made to create a connection, not to start a fight.

i find myself reflecting on WHY i have come to not feel comfortable in this community. why i don't enjoy writing the same way, why i don't feel the same security i once felt, why i get so damn nervous to post a silly thought or thirst on main, and i find myself coming back to these experiences and the subsequent fear that follows. perhaps i am a weak-hearted coward, but i find it hard to find joy when i feel surrounded by constant negativity and genuine cruelty. it is hard to want to share any of myself when i am so deeply aware that whether it is strangers or people i have become close to, what i enjoy and what i choose to express and share can be so easily twisted into something it is not.

i know it would be easier if i had a thicker skin, or felt secure enough that this didn't bother me, but part of the core problem is that this community has made me insecure. it's a loop. it is one that makes me genuinely sad, as this place once felt so much like home. i know it still can be, but it certainly won't be sitting here, starting at blank documents and text posts wondering to myself 'why can't i just put words on paper' while i have the cortisol levels of a prey animal.

i'm not sure if other folks have felt similarly, or find themselves in the same point. however if you do, or you find yourself resonating, here's to feeling seen 🥂

- papa salami (lore) 🌙

[bg-brainrot]

Hugs for a Vampire (Astarion x GN!Reader) - Chapter 12: After Entering Baldur’s Gate

Chapter 12: After Entering Baldur’s Gate

Each chapter can be read as a standalone hug.

Pairing: Astarion x GN!Reader (Rogue!Tav)

Genre: Fluffy, Filling in Canon

Rating: Teen

Tags: Gender-Neutral Pronouns, POV Second Person, Act 3, Canon-typical violence, Astarion's coping mechanisms

WC: 1k words, 12/18 chapters

Summary: Set in early Act 3, the group finally arrives in the city! Astarion marvels at its sight while slipping into old habits.

Ao3 | [Hug11][Hug13] | Hugs for a Vampire Masterlist

Finally, you’ve made it. Baldur’s Gate– it looks so beautiful in the bright, golden sunlight of the Sword Coast. Your heart swells with joy at the sights, sounds. Somehow, even the various city smells, which might have normally left your nose wrinkling in disgust, are calling you forward.

You turn toward your companions, each Baldurian, each with vastly different experiences of the city. It shows in how they enter it now. Shadowheart has a look of vague recognition on her face, as if she’s piecing together each part of the city into a map she’s not quite familiar with. Karlach’s entire face is lit up, much like when you stumbled upon the circus. You strongly suspect that if she weren’t attached to you all at the hips, she’d have run off into a crowd or tavern to just relish the feeling of being surrounded by people. As for Astarion… 

When you finally take in his expression, a lump forms in your throat. His eyes are wide, sweeping across the city in wonder. His expression is so open and vulnerable, you hesitate to break it, yet you can’t pull your gaze away from him. Of course, he notices your staring.

"Gods,” he breathes out, continuing to look around you, past you to the full expanse of the city. You might not have even registered that he was speaking to you except for his occasional glance back at you. “This is the first time in two hundred years that I've seen these streets in the sunlight. You can forget just how much color there is in the world."

The vampire may be speaking to you, but his voice is realms away, the memories of another lifetime, another man unable to hide in the blinding daylight. You’re torn, because he seems to genuinely delight in the colors of the city– however, the underlying sorrow, the wistful regret is unmistakable. For the first time since you’ve learned of Cazador’s profane ritual, you contemplate if any price is too grand to pay for this man’s happiness.

You shoo the thought away as quickly as it comes. There are other ways. There have to be other ways. Instead, you intend to pull him out of this reverie, asking him softly, “Are you alright?”

His reaction is swift, knee-jerk, “Yes, of course.” The moment passes as he adopts an annoyed tone, “ Obviously. Sorry, did you want something?” Again his defensive wall is up, a flippant attitude paving over the subtle cracks of weakness.

You try not to let it bother you, you really do. You remind yourself that a lot of this is new to him, and that which isn’t new comes with a slew of horribly familiar memories. But it still pricks at you, a dull ache blossoms in your chest as you take a shuddering breath. “No, sorry for asking.” The words come out clipped, hurt despite yourself. 

As you move to continue onward, you feel the chill of Astarion’s fingers wrapping around your wrist. His eyes are now entirely trained on you, only a smidge of annoyance left as he whispers, “Darling, you don’t constantly need to ask me if I'm alright. I'll have you know, I'm a perfectly grown adult vampire.”

Resisting the urge to turn toward him, to bury yourself in his chest and apologize– for what you’re not entirely sure– you opt instead to whisper back over your shoulder, “I know, but I can't help caring. You know that.”

He produces a small sigh, looks to see both of your companions are distracted by a nearby stall, and smoothly snakes both of his arms around you. Pressing his chest into your back, he leans in to whisper your name in an exhale. “Darling, don’t take this the wrong way, but you are utterly insufferable.”

“I don’t know how else to take that,” you state dryly, continuing to stare forward and cursing your heart for its excited palpitations.

“A term of endearment perhaps?” he questions into your hair. Holding you a bit tighter, he continues, “I… apologize for not appreciating your concern.” The word ‘apologize’ sounds like another language on his leaden tongue, but he manages through it. Much like the time he thanked you, the discomfort is palpable.

Something about it placates your heart, and you grip his arms to your stomach in a loving squeeze. “Thank you. And,” you hesitate, looking down at your linked arms, wondering how you will stand up to this man when push comes to shove. “I’m sorry for pressuring you. I know you’re perfectly capable on your own, I promise.”

He gives a laugh, an airy, happy thing. “Oh, I know, my sweet. You certainly task me with enough grueling work to remind me of that fact daily.”

You nudge him in half-hearted annoyance, but the carefree rhythm to his voice has you smiling to yourself. “If you don’t want more to do, then let go of me. I think Karlach might accidentally set the Stormshore Tabernacle ablaze if we leave her alone too long.”

Astarion releases you with a retort, “It’s made of stone, dear. How in the hells would she manage that?”

“I, for one, would not like to find out,” you say, pulling on one of Astarion’s arms as you chase after your other companions. 

With all of the practiced dexterity of a rogue, his arm slips out of your hand, only to be replaced by his hand. You’re a bit surprised, but the feel of his cool palm, his long fingers, is anything but unwelcome. As if it’s the most natural thing in the world, your love intertwines your fingers in his and walks through the city of Baldur’s Gate by your side.

Again, the thought strikes you: what wouldn’t I do for this man’s happiness? You’re left with that burning question unanswered as you catch up with Shadowheart and Karlach.

“Okay everyone, let’s head to the Elfsong. I promised Alfira we’d meet her there. And maybe we can find a few rooms to hole up in while we save the Coast.” You receive a few nods as a response, a gentle squeeze of your hand from Astarion. Your heart is heavy with the number of tasks ahead of you, with the decisions that you’ve yet to make, but hearing Karlach’s occasional happy giggle, seeing Shadowheart’s head bob this way and that, feeling the soft pressure of Astarion’s hand in yours– you’re reminded to stay steady on your path, one foot following another.

[mariacallous]

After the Summer Olympics’ opening ceremony, drag artist Nicky Doll felt she was on a cloud. Her makeup had survived 45 minutes of torrential rain as she performed on a bridge over the Seine River and she’d just witnessed waacking and voguing, both dance forms with queer roots, reach a worldwide audience of billions of people.

Back in the dressing room, which was on a boat, the mood was celebratory. “We were all so proud that in 2024, we were given the platform to be,” says Doll, known for her appearance on the reality show RuPaul’s Drag Race and as the host of Drag Race France.

It wasn’t until the next day that Doll realized she was also at the center of an Olympic-sized backlash. French Catholic bishops decried the ceremony’s “derision and mockery of Christianity.” Donald Trump called the show “a disgrace.” Critics focused their anger on one scene, where Doll posed alongside other Drag Race artists, interpreting it as a parody of the Last Supper, a painting by Leonardo da Vinci and an important image in Christian iconography. Organizers denied that was the inspiration. But by then, it didn’t matter. The online mob had its momentum.

On Doll’s phone, that momentum took the form of a slew of notifications. Her name was getting tagged. Personal attacks were filing into her DMs. Then came the threats: “we know where you live,” “we have guns,” “we will cut your throat.” Other performers were getting harassed, too. A special police unit dedicated to fighting hate crimes was tasked with investigating online abuse targeted at lesbian activist DJ Barbara Butch, the Paris prosecutor's office told the Associated Press.

“As queer people, we are used to being criticized on social media,” says Doll, who is from Marseille but now lives in New York. “But when we saw they were using religion … in order to attack us, this felt like a low blow that we didn't see coming.”

Behind the messages were the usual crowd of anonymous trolls, hiding behind accounts with no names or profile pictures. But among them was also Laurence Fox, a British actor turned right-wing commentator, who has become notorious for making misogynistic and homophobic comments. On the night of the opening ceremony, amid the backlash, Fox posted a video of the catwalk scene on X, calling the cast “little pedos.” The post remains visible on the platform with a fact-check label that says: “There is no evidence that any of the people in the photograph are pedophiles.”

In response, Doll, who features in the video next to Butch, decided to sue Fox for defamation in France. “I want to sue him personally, because I want him to understand that he cannot continue to use us for his personal agenda and his words matter,” she says, “The message that he sends to his fan base matters. He's an enabler for hate and homophobia and transphobia.” Representatives for Fox and X did not reply to WIRED's requests for comment.

For Doll, the concern is that the type of rhetoric that came in response to the opening ceremony, if left to spread unchecked, could inspire offline violence. “Queer people could be literally murdered in the streets,” she says. “It’s very important that we stop allowing this kind of rhetoric to demonize queer people. We are not demons. We are not trying to attack religion and families. We are just trying to live our lives and to have representation in the media for other people who are not loved or have not even come out to feel like they are seen.”

This is not the first time Fox has been sued by someone in the drag community. In April, a British court ordered him to pay £180,000 ($200,000) to Simon Blake, incoming CEO of British LGBTQ+ campaign group Stonewall, and Crystal, another star in the Drag Race universe, after calling the pair pedophiles on X.

Doll is hoping her case can dispel the idea that online mobs have to be endured alone. “I am showing them that the law is an option they can [pursue],” she says. “The government is on their side and there are things they can do when they are being attacked.”

Doll, who received the majority of the attacks via Instagram and X, says the two platforms have not been equal in their attempts to contain the abuse. “I think that Instagram and [parent company] Meta are doing as much as they can,” she says. After reporting DMs she received through the app, the company responded to tell her those profiles had been removed.

On X, however, she feels like there are barely repercussions for people spreading abuse. “I think that Twitter is a trash can of negativity and allows so much hate,” she says, using the platform’s previous name.

Yet this is not just about abuse targeting celebrities. “What worries me is that people are going through things like this,” she says, “who do not have the power that I have.”

[justifiedthoughts]

Alhaitham & Kaveh Headcanons

Okay, so, I'm currently working on a really-fucking-long headcanons post. Due to certain aspects of the post, I remembered that I had these deep within my notes app.

As to why they're deep in my notes? Well, they were simply never allowed to see the light of day, as the blog that I dumped them into the inbox of (as an anon) got deleted before they ever got posted/replied to.

Why was I anon posting large amounts of headcanons despite literally having a blog? Simple! My confidence was (and still is) absolute trash. I still sometimes headcanon dump under an anon name from lack of confidence of doing it on my own blog-

Anyway, Headcanons are under the read line. For the most part, I just directly copy/pasted from my notes app, including my greetings to the blog that I had originally sent these to - I just removed the anon signature that I used.

Mind the tags, but that's a given with kink, no?

Hihi hello, yes I’m still alive, and don’t worry about how long you might take! I’ve been fading on and off Tumblr anyway without the ability to ramble about making my current-favorite ship suffer in their digestive issues.

Anyway, time for me to dump whatever I come up with on you! Probably more Kavetham, because I’m still vibrating in fluffy enjoyment.

Note: Some are kink-related, some are not.

(Kaveh)

Travels to other nations sometimes, just so he can observe the architecture. Yes, he does bother Al-Haitham into joining him for quite a few of them (Acting-Grand Sage period = work break!).

Will go on random spiels about architecture, sometimes rambling for hours without end.

Special interest :)

Most common victim to these rambles is Al-Haitham, ~~not that he minds.~~

Did I mention my lactose intolerant Kaveh headcanon yet? Because that definitely exists deep within my mind.

It gives him bubbly guts, and with that comes a whole slew of gas, both with those hard-to-release burps and numerous farts.

He’s usually just left in discomfort for the rest of the day, though sometimes he’d end up bloating fairly heavily.

Too embarrassed to go out into public when he does bloat, usually ends up shutting himself into his room under the pretext of working on a blueprint. In reality, he’s curled up on his bed, miserable.

Al-Haitham eventually shows up due to the odd silence of the house (since Kaveh’s not being his loud self, which is very rare and very concerning, in Al-Haitham’s POV).

Doesn’t even bother knocking, considering it’s his house anyway

Only slightly off-put by Kaveh’s positioning.

Kaveh notices the rude intrusion, but simply ignores it beyond curling slightly more around his bloated stomach.

He does, however, acknowledge Al-Haitham’s presence when he’s literally dragged out of bed.

Turns out, for some inane reason, the younger wants him to taste-test a dish he’s cooking.

He complies, of course; pointing out that there’s not enough salt in it (and quietly complaining over the lack of spice, but that’s a losing battle with Al-Haitham, for multiple reasons)

The entire scene actually distracts him from his earlier sulking, and soon enough he’s seated with the more-salty dish and adding assorted dashes of spices to the otherwise bland dish.

Never actually realizes that Al-Haitham had distracted him until he’s in bed that night, about to fall asleep.

(Al-Haitham)

I brought this up on my first-ever submission to you, and I’ll bring it up again: Al-Haitham vs. Liyuean food.

From what I can remember, most of Liyue’s native dishes have spices in them. Specifically, Jueyun Chilis. Which are apparently one of the spiciest food ingredients currently in existence for the Genshin world.

(Description pulled from game) “…Merely smelling it makes one hot and thirsty…[The spiciness] makes people want to run to the highest peaks of Jueyun and cool their mouths with chilly air.”

Perhaps he’ll do some forward research about Liyuean dishes so that he knows what to avoid, but maybe he’d end up pushed into trying one without knowing beforehand.

Kaveh would likely be distracting him with one of his rambles over Liyue’s architecture - who probably wouldn’t immediately realize that the dish had chilis in it.

Instantly realizes his mistake the moment the heat actually hits his senses, but it’s already too late.

Cue the various ‘realization’ reactions:

Trembling so much that even Kaveh notices.

Uneasily resting a hand over his stomach, just waiting for the first upset gurgle to break out.

Small anxiety tics, like being unable to keep his eyes on a specific spot for even a small period of time.

Visibly cringes with the first noises his stomach starts to make, already trying to muffle it to the best of his ability.

Did I mention that they’re eating out in public? Because this is the scene that my brain’s generating.

Holds in his gas, simply because of his own embarrassment of having to deal with his… ‘intolerance’ in public.

Of course, that motion only worsens his situation, since his abdomen starts to bloat up from the trapped gas.

At some point, Kaveh prods into Al-Haitham’s internal panic, inquiring to the younger on ‘if he’s alright’ and whatnot.

Al-Haitham would glare at him for even bothering to ask such a thing, if he had the willpower to.

As it is, he simply bites out a small, almost ashamed-sounding “It has spices in it.”

I’d like to think that they’ve definitely known each other long enough for Kaveh to know the foreboding realization on just what that means.

(…Me realizing that I never did list out my eructo headcanons for Al-Haitham, which I will definitely do at some point!)

Al-Haitham getting startled by a sudden, breathy burp, which brings up another taste of the chilis, at which point he ends up downing an entire glass of water in one go in order to cool his mouth for even a moment.

The sudden influx of a fair portion of a rather cold liquid does his stomach no favors, as the unsettled organ continues to audibly gurgle alongside the sloshing from the amount of liquid in it.

Perhaps while all this is going on, Kaveh manages to take charge and pay for their short meal, packing up the spiced dish for himself and rounding the table to try to get Al-Haitham up so that they can be somewhere more private than whatever diner they’re currently at.

Al-Haitham moves slowly, noticeably paler than usual as he struggles to simultaneously hold in his gas, muffle the various noises his stomach is making, and make it seem like he’s having no such issues to the average passersby.

Kaveh ends up carefully leading him back to where they’re staying, since the younger’s too distracted with his intestinal distress to pay much more attention than the bare minimum.

Probably ends up resting on a semi-comfortable chair near the bathroom, cradling his stomach as it truly starts to kick up a chili-induced storm.

Harsher gurgles, leading with equally (if not more so) harsh cramps.

Since he’s not dealing with public embarrassment anymore, he does actually begin to let out the bubbly farts produced from this mess.

Some of them simply refuse to come out, keeping him bloated as he desperately tries to rub and press in an attempt to just get it out. (He doesn’t even care that Kaveh’s present, it hurts too much for him to try to bring himself to care about that minor fact.)

He can’t stop shaking. Be it from a generalized discomfort of his current situation, to the stress and nerves getting to him, his body simply will not stop trembling.

Kaveh probably would end up prying in to try to help Al-Haitham at some point, inevitably pushing aside one of the younger’s hands to be able to get his own hands on site, in order to finally be able to properly help.

In one timeline, maybe Al-Haitham eventually gets pressed with an urgent need, leading to him rushing into the bathroom and… dealing, with the rest of it himself.

In another timeline, maybe he doesn’t get that sort of agonizing relief, as his stomach continues with its raging gurgles, cramping and churning all the way until he perhaps ends up just passing out from the pain of it all.

Nah bc I just headcanon-formatted an entire story or so in the span of a few hours.

[starlitangels]

Announcement!

Welcome to the “Official (Unofficial) Redacted Sexyman Tournament!” I will be your host, Star(litAngels)!

I have made a randomly-generated bracket with as many of the Redacted characters as I could remember and I know I still forgot some, and I left some off on purpose, and I will be holding polls every day to see who will advance, and who will not

This is Voiced Characters Only. And Prime Universe Only. If you’re interested in an Imperium Sexyman Tournament or a Sexiest Listener Character Tournament, let me know. Either of those would probably be after the boys because I don’t think I’ll have time to keep track of two or (heaven forbid) three at a time.

The winner will be the Ultimate Redacted Sexyman According To Tumblr. (The Tumblr part is very important. This ain’t no Redactness or Redactness After Dark in a Discord server with Erik watching. This is Tumblr where we’re all allowed to be 137% more unhinged, among other things, with no Creator Supervision™)

Now, remember, this is randomly generated. I didn’t choose the initial line-up of which character against which. So if your two faves are against each other for the initial round, sorry. Not my fault.

I will be tagging the polls with “Redacted Sexyman” so you can either blacklist it or keep track of/follow the competition

Other important note: this is just for fun. No one is allowed to start drama or discourse over this, you hear? We’re all just fans having a good time and I don’t want anyone to feel like they can’t have a good time participating in a slew of silly little polls that are ultimately meaningless and an entertaining way to pass a little time.

Rules:

You must vote for the sexiest character, in your opinion. This is a Sexyman contest, not a favorites contest. If your fave is less sexy than the boy they’re competing against, you gotta vote for the sexier one in your opinion. Yes I’m aware that “favorite” and “sexiest” are often the same. But if they’re not, you have to choose whichever person you find the sexiest

Be nice to everyone else voting. No harassing others over their opinions

Be honest. No voter fraud or anything. Don’t go to your friends outside the fandom and be like “hey I need you to vote for this person even though you have no context”. This is for Redacted Fans Only.

You will have 24 hours to vote each day, as per Tumblr poll mechanics, and there will be a new duel every day. However if I skip a day, please don’t harass me about it. A reminder is okay, a demand is not.

More rules can be added if necessary

This is a 25-round competition, and it’ll take us most of the way through March, at this point. So tune in here every day to make sure your Sexyman gets his vote!

Caelum is not included because he is a literal child before anyone asks or gives me any grief. He is not qualified to be a “sexyman.” Honestly I wasn’t going to include Regulus for similar reasons but he has a BA so I felt like I kinda had to? Some people are into that? Anyway

[tgtbata]

got tagged to answer some some spn questions by @prince-of-elsinore and @catnipster69, questions originally by @red-meat-my-beloved i believe!

what song describes samdean the most?

i wouldn't say these songs describe sam&dean the most because my brainworms are fickle and often incomprehensible, but i have a whole slew of songs that are samdean songs for me! for example children's work by dessa as an overview of the whole show, untouchable face by ani difranco for pining!dean in the pilot episode, gospel truth by joseph j jones for early season pining, 551 by dessa for s4/s5 vibes, learning to love again by matt kearny for the relief of telling your brother you love him, the heart is a muscle by gang of youths for late seasons comfy brosbands, find me by forest blakk for the finale (not reeeeally a song but it counts).

and obvious ones like brother by needtobreathe, night moves by bob seger or always gold by radical face.

i also have a terrible habit of trying to connect every song i listen to while drawing to the ship i'm drawing so i'll go like, maybe before he cheats by carrie underwood IS a samdean song.....

if spn was set in europe, what country would the Winchesters be from? What language/languages would they speak?

i don't think i can possibly answer this any better than elsi did with eastern bloc because it's both hilarious and interesting. i also want to add that it would feed into the religious angle in a way worth exploring, dean being a non-believer and everything.

but it's also fun to image supernatural set in e.g. sweden in the style of nordic noir.

if they didn’t have the impala, what car would they drive?

i'm totally not a car guy so i'm the wrong person to ask this but i think it'd be cute to force them into a limegreen volkswagen beetle.

is there a project you’re working on currently? Do you have a line or sketch from it to share?

i'm always working on something rip uhmmm here's a base sketch from a thing i'm working on about dean surviving the rebar

what’s the first fanfic for supernatural you’ve written? Did you publish it? Or if you don’t write: what’s the first fanfic you remember reading?

it was so long ago that i can't tell you much about the first spn fics i've read. one that i remember i read early on was on fanfiction.net and wasn't wincest but destiel. it had dean traveling through different universes for a reason i can't remember and in most of those other universes cas and him were banging. but what stuck with me when i read it was that there was one universe where dean had died and sam and cas were hooking up haha. the further details of that fic escape me.

an early wincest fic i remember was one where sam saves dean from hell and it was based on orpheus and eurydice.

is there another codependent/enmeshed duo from a different fandom you enjoy? Are there parallels to Sam and Dean?

seth/richie from dusk till dawn!!!! soooo many parallels!! i won't get into it but i'm always happy to make ppl watch fdtd and talk about it.

it's been some time since i've watched dexter but him and debra or him and brian also.

what type of wincest dynamic do you currently enjoy most? (sexual, platonic, dark, fluffy, early seasons, etc.)

later-ish to late seasons, spending most of their time together, feeling so comfortable with each other it almost scares them to relax into it lest it gets taken away, letting people make assumptions about them, sexually/romantically into each other, piiiining.

but really i'll eat it all, every wincest dynamic, ravenously.

(i think everyone i'd wanna tag already got tagged but if you see this and want to do it, say i tagged you!)

[meltingangelsmods]

I've tagged the trigger warnings for this post appropriately, but I'm saying it up here too:

TW Rape Threat

When I published my Top Surgery Scar Tattoos, I got an absolute plethora of horrendous comments and DMs, to the point I was considering closing my DMs entirely.

Then I got a Death threat for those mods.

And then another because I wouldn't share a private mod with someone.

More shitty messages.

Then yesterday, when I tried offering advice to the modder of an LGBT flag mod, basically saying they should consider locking comments before it gets too bad, someone replied to that comment.

They went on an entire rant. I've included the screenshot of their comment here.

They wished they could harass me and the OG modder.

And then they ended that rant with a rape Threat.

I'm glad I prepped mods for my Hiatus and prepared a PowerPoint of inspiration for my commission, because other than that I have no desire to finish current mod WIPs. It's killed my modding energy and mood entirely.

Commissioner if you see this, please don't worry. I'm very much enjoying working on your tattoo set and it has been a welcomed distraction. I hope to have a further sketch for you to see either today or tomorrow.

I just...I don't get it. And I know I've had plenty more lovely comments and support. But I was already feeling shitty after multiple Facebook messages shouting abuse over my beliefs and appearance.

And then I get a rape Threat. Simply for trying to help an LGBT mod maker.

Nexus to their credit, responded within literal minutes and I'm pretty sure the rape Threat commenter has not just been account banned, but IP banned. They also apologised profusely and told me to contact them again if I get anything else like this.

But yeah. I haven't even been modding for a year yet and I've already had a slew of LGBT phobic comments, harassing DMs, as well as death threats and now a rape Threat.

I don't know when I'll post my WIP Astarion tattoo or braces mod WIP. I'm probably even going to take a social media break other than scrolling through Tumblr on my main and reblogging stuff.

I've even muted Discord messages and marked myself as Do Not Disturb.

Straight people wanting Pride pisses me off. You guys don't get harassed and sent death/rape threats simply for existing.

[ruthlesslistener]

Oohhh I get it now. But tbh if I'm going to be honest, at least proshippers hide their stuff away in their respective dark areas/behind safe walls and even tag and warn people about the dark content they make. Antis dont, they just invade places and engage in the said dark content just to get mad at it. At least from my own experiences from them. Idk I just see most proshippers as responsible in managing what they make, while antis don't. I actually got a taste of dark content from antis myself as a kid, in a lot of callouts made by antis lololol. And not because the proshipper were demanding their content be known. Its been like that even now actually, where dark content gets shoved in people's faces purely because an anti is trying to act like a hero. Though this is just my experience with them.

Another thing if you wouldn't mind, is that while it's true that dark content can lead to a lot of things in real life. I personally see that it has to be allowed to exist, because dark content shows the dark realities of life and that we shouldn't just leave it/ignore it. I seen victims of abuse for example, who had their experiences validated from reading dark content/about their abuse in stories. Or like the fact that a certain famous entertainment company doesnt want to show blood in their content because of "violence" in shows where kids and adults are watching, where some have pointed out that not showing even a small proportions of what violence can do (blood) will lead to a very naive understanding of the consequences of violence. Shocking because this is a western company, and the TV show in question involves guns and... you get the idea. Don't get me started on censorship and how that can get out of hand so easily.

I don't think I'm explaining this well but yeh. Dark content is needed and should be allowed to exist in my personal views, but should still be allowed to exist behind close doors and away from people who don't want to see it. You can delete this ask if it makes you uncomfortable, I'm just trying to put my two cents into this convo. But yeh, I prefer to live in a world where dark content exists and not one where its nothing but "wholesome" and "pure".

.

[Tone: calm and neutral]

Oh no yeah I agree with you 100%, this is my exact stance on things and is a mirror to most of my experiences- hell, I like exclusively dark content and part of the reason for that is bc I came from a psychologically/emotionally (and sometimes physically) where 'we're all just a big happy family and you're ruining it you little freak' was a big problem. Stuff that's just pure and wholesome actually makes me feel uneasy and on edge all the time because I always feel like the other shoe is about to drop, while horror is comforting because I can read the situation and know what's happening. Part of the issue in my household also stems from the fact that my dad has an issue with differentiating fiction and reality (he suffers from untreated ocd and paranoia and a whole slew of other issues), and he used to blame the stuff I was reading for making me 'disrespectful' and 'cold' whenever I dared to have a negative emotion- hence me just seeking out more and more fucked up shit so that I could vent my anger without getting cussed out (though it also was bc I wasn't allowed to watch anything over a G rating til I was fucking. 16.). Without going into more detail, he used extremely similar tactics to antis and that's why I have such a strongly negative response to them, discounting all of the times where I had nasty run-ins with them. I very much hate all of them and it is because I had to deal with people like them my whole life. It wasn't fun.

I have very few actual squicks, and if I'm in a curious mood I'll also read stuff even if it disgusts me- and hell, sometimes their are exceptions. Captive Prince is a series I'm very fond of full of rape, csa, incest, and psychological abuse, but the reason why I love it despite the content is because it is a very compelling story about how horrible all that abuse is and how deeply fucked up it can make a person, as well as how awful the victim can seem when your pov is being manipulated by the abuser. The problem I have isn't content-based as much as it is the people, and, to the lesser extent, the tone of some of what they make.

See, what soured me on proshippers aren't people who are quietly making darker content and posting/tagging it properly (those are just normal writers and artists imo), I'm talking those who proudly proclaim themselves as proship, aka the vocal few balls deep in The Discourse who make it their whole personality trait. They're mostly centered to Twitter rather than Tumblr nowadays, but the problem with said vocal minority is that they are. Well. Extremely fucking annoying, entitled, tone-deaf, and just overall awful people. Almost everyone who proudly flaunts that they're proship is so balls-deep in the discourse that they feel personally victimized by anyone who shows any negative reaction to the gross shit they're into bc that automatically means they're a puritan, when sometimes it really is just an expression of disgust. Twitter proshippers are a whole different breed than Tumblr ones after the porn ban, but unfortunatly I keep getting their arguments shown to me when I'm on the site scrolling for furry porn and its...bad. It's real fucking bad. Not as bad as antis half the time but certainly not much better in how they treat people and their personal boundaries.

It's also the people who will take content that's pretty fucked up and spins it through a fandom lens that also gets me, though most of the time I just block and move on with a bad taste in my mouth instead of getting actually angry. And by 'fandom lens', I mean people who will take a rape/abuse/etc situation and then go 'oh but what if they're a couple with only a few pokes at the fucked up elements in canon. Ex, some (admittedly few, but they exist) people ship Mohg and Miquella as a reciprocal pairing despite it being a kidnapping and nonconsensual body modification incest-for-power situation, and that just...it feels so wrong. It's just so shallow and such a bad take read on a complex situation that I cannot stand it, it makes me want to run the opposite way. I have zero authority to force people to not do things ofc, I'm not a fucking cop, but those people give me the vibe of someone who'd not help you out with an abusive partner because 'oh but his posessiveness and controlling nature is just so cute, and he clearly loves you so its okay!' and that rings the alarm bells of someone that I do NOT want to be around even if it logically means nothing.

Does that make sense? It's a convoluted mess, but I hope I made it more clear that it's not so much the content that bothers me as much as it is the people and how they use it.