#<- we continue

[kavalyera]

General head canons about (any) John Wick characters?

-🧸

buckle up buddy this is really long this is like several months of me stealing hcs from my friends collecting hcs over the months

Vincent calls his cat Lacey “mon coeur” like she’s actually his daughter (which she is)

^ He also calls Chidi “mon coeur”

^^ It creates silly moments with Lacey and Chidi

Helen and John had a road trip across the US once and were literally drained for a month

Iosef had an emo phase

^ Kirill and Viggo had to live through that. It was the funniest shit they’ve ever seen

While not directly related, Helen is related to Winston. Up to you how

Happy pride month to Helen and John who are pan x bi

Vincent is pretentious and thinks modern books suck

^ He reads L’Oiseux Bleu by Madame D’Aulnoy every night because none of his parents ever read him a bedtime story and he wants some semblance of normalcy

Santino thinks making threats is the funniest shit ever

^ He did this to Gianna once and she beat his ass

^^ He still does it just not to Gianna

Katya needs glasses she just refuses to wear them💀💀

Perkins and Addy are ex girlfriends from high school

Kirill could fuck up several grapes if he was given them

^ Actually add oranges to that

Gianna and Cassian know each other so well they can communicate and just gestures and they’ll know what the other means

Ares is Russian-Italian, my brother assumed she was both so now I’m taking that head canon from him

Akira knows three languages; Japanese, English, and Cantonese <- but she’s still learning that last one

Mia learned how to play multiple instruments but none really echoed with her before she picked up the violin

^ Her violin has a name and it’s named Berry

Seeing Ares’ notes app is like seeing hell’s gates open and unleashing it’s fiery misery upon your eyes

Kirill and Ares are friends

^ They met when Ares was a hitwoman living in New York before Santino hired her

Gianna is the silent type when she gets angry, like she’ll start ignoring people when she’s totally pissed off

Avi and Kirill are sort of friends (well, work buddies. they share one common enemy: the entire Tarasov family)

Adjudicator had no problem with their parents

^ They’re just autistic

^^ They’re the second most normal person in the entire High Table’s office

Speaking of HT Office, these are the people included! ↴

Gianna, Santino, Adjudicator, WUXIA DJ, Harbinger, and Vincent

^ No, it is not a safe office

Iosef’s love language is bullying ❤️

DJ and Vincent used to date for a while and they liked to photograph each other

^ Each other’s muse (DJ with songs, Vincent with poetry)

Sofia actually has more dogs and cats that roam near the premises of the Casablanca Continental

^ Mostly stray cats

Cassian and Ares, when interacting each other, actually have a better relationship than Gianna and Santino

Helen watches millennial white woman shows

^ John watches them with her

Kirill and Avi had to drive Iosef to school

^ Neither of them wanted to

^^ Unfortunately it was mostly Kirill

Chidi is a passenger princess survivor when, in the rare case, Vincent drives

Gianna’s love language is gift giving but in the sense Cassian doesn’t even realize Gianna has given him one until later

^ She slips on a watch while he’s busy and he didn’t even realize it

Surprisingly, Iosef has done absolutely no drugs in his life

^ Unless you count weed, but that wouldn’t be drugs more like substances??

Santino owns an estate in Croatia (for @bluelolblue 💗)

Adjudicator is from Oregon idk they just give that vibe to me tbh

^ Vincent HATES every other part of the USA (#frenchman) but because he’s genuinely friends with Jude, he wouldn’t mind going to see Oregon

Iosef thinks Kirill is so cool and looks up to him

^ But if you ask him, he’ll call Kirill a little bitch

Gianna’s haircare is like really long and she started this since she was 12 so Santino had to wait an hour for her to finish

Adjudicator and Vincent are YSL Connoisseurs

^ Gianna, Adjudicator, Vincent, and DJ all have Louboutins

^^ So does Helen based on that one picture of Bridget Moynahan that I saw on tumblr

Iosef didn’t know how to tie shoelaces and Kirill did them for him

^ Mainly because Viggo told him to do it

Vincent struggles with some english words and will start getting pissed off if someone points it out (his ego is too big)

Sofia’s daughter’s name is Inara, meaning “shining light”

Gianna and Santino went to the same private school and they were both loners

^ However both of them had a small group of friends they regularly hung out with

Iosef thinks scaring Kirill is the funniest shit ever an it has never once worked

^ Kirill has gotten used to getting jumped he was literally in 80’s crime infested New York

Helen was learning Russian with John

^ She was around B1 level Russian as John helped her

Vincent reverts back to Catholicism just to inconvenience people

Ares wears those types of socks with a silly pattern just because she can

Viggo and Abram grew apart as time went on

Caine and Mia go out for dad-daughter bonding activities almost every weekend

^ Usually bowling or walking around a park

Grigoriy “Grisha” Izmailov is now a character in John Wick ( source here )

^ I don’t know his fandom just believe me on this trust🙏

Katya gets sick easily

Kirill almost drank the lethal dosage of caffeine once

^ Avi started getting fucking scared when he saw the effects

Katya was there at John’s wedding and she couldn’t stop crying because Helen was so nice to her

^ “can you live in Germany instead☹️”

Adjudicator had nothing to do as a kid so they ended up just making loads of bracelets for fun

^ They still do and it’s the most fun they have in the office

Yk what fuck it aspec time

Katya is an ace-lesbian

Mia is bi-ace

Tracker is aro-pan

Jude is aroace

^ Okay done

Adjudicator and Harbinger and related don’t ask how

Gianna’s favorite book is Il fu Mattia Pascal by Luigi Pirandello

The HT office starts clutching their pearls ties when they see someone with a shit outfit

^ Except for Harbinger, who isn’t dramatic

^^ And Adjudicator but they’d be upset

Gianna took cello lessons as a kid and Santino bullied her for her big ass instrument

^ His dad made him play cello afterwards

Koji and Akira cook together

^ It ends up with Koji not letting Akira touch anything and only lets her turn on the stove and stir things

If Chidi mentions something he likes, Vincent will start buying it for him

Ares is selectively mute

Vincent has more female friends than male ones because he’s a queer

Gianna and Santino are good at singing

Ares is genderfluid and uses any pronouns

Helen had a daisy tattoo in her inner forearm and then got a rose one layered over it when she married John

^ John also has a rose tattoo (they’re matching)

Caine is ridiculously fast at running

^ Mia inherited that

If Iosef has nothing to do, he goes to Kirill and forces video game knowledge onto him

HT Office has a shared playlist and it’s the worse combination of songs known to man

^ Santino deliberately encouraged employees to add bad songs

^ DJ has the best songs on that playlist btw

Chidi and Vincent have something in common which is fucking hating reptiles

^ They see one and start backing the fuck up

John Wick is autistic

Helen knows how to play guitar

Tell me to make a part 2 because I have so much more but I think Chad Stahelski is knocking at my door as we speak

[eerna]

Personally I'd rather see the entire Hollywood movie industry fall apart than the strike fail. Movies won't stop being made, they will just stop being sponsored by worker abuse, and if that means no more millions of dollars worth epics then so be it idc

EDIT: OK this is gaining way too much attention while being vague and hyperbolic and ranty so let's make one thing clear - I am NOT lauding projects which don't adhere to union requirements, this is about the fact that big studios pretend like they are the only ones who can give you entertainment and if they can't make projects, you'll be sad and bored forever, and also that the only worthwhile pieces of media are projects worth an ungodly amount of money. This is obviously a lie, since there have been studios that agreed to work under new union requirements, and that's what I mean by "movies won't stop being made" - there will always always always be projects, big and small, that won't ignore what unions have to say. And in a dreamlike hypothetical future where big Hollywood industry falls apart, other smaller and more manageable studios will rise to take their place, and they'll have a cautionary tale on what will happen to them if they try to push it again.

[atalana]

but seriously i do find it so funny that ford was like OH GOD MY PRECIOUS REPUTATION after bill possessed him around other people for all of one night

and then he gets back to this dimension after thirty years and this is now the photo the press associates with his name

[kooldewd123]

wild life episode one: wow, six lives seems kinda excessive. how deadly do they expect these wild cards to be?

wild life episode two: oh.

wild life episode three: OH.

[northernfireart]

read the whole story> here by @clarionglass :)

[pangur-and-grim]

look at that transformation! well done, Belphie, you’ve defeated death!

[ottermatopoeia]

Everyone's all "i'll fuck your dad" until they realize that means they'd have to fuck someone over 40. and those people are weak.

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

[egophiliac]

since Eng is getting 7.5 soon(?), I felt motivated to go back to my Meleanor rig and make her a couple of lesson animations! ...except for alchemy, because the cauldron bubbles proved too hard to photoshop around, whoops.

maybe she just got lost on her way to the classroom...?

(credit: backgrounds are from the game, I just put her on top of 'em)

(aside from the backgrounds, this is not an edit, I drew her from scratch! please do not tag or treat as an edit!)

[sophfandoms53]

SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG IS THE COOLEST MOTHERFUCKER EVER NO ONE IS DOING IT LIKE HIM IM LOSING MY MINDDDD MY BOY IS SO BACK

[theworldsforgottenboy]

Every fall out boy song is like *nonsense lyric* *nonsense lyric* *the most profound cunt serving couplet in the English language since Shakespeare that sends you straight back to middle school* *nonsense*

[luobenn]

we must continue

[attyrocious]

like hiring a horse to dogsit

[lylahammar]

I feel like one of the clearest indicators that capitalism doesn’t fucking serve people is LED headlights. Because LED headlights endanger millions of lives every single night, I have never met a single person who doesn’t HATE them and take any opportunity to complain about them, and yet we have made zero progress in banning them in 20 years (literally it’s been 20 years this year) because they’re cheaper for car manufacturers

[stoleyourgender]

i have said it once and i will say it again, i fucking love whoever writes the captions for this show

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

You made her cry, time to die.

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