#<- very unproductive. i should be doing other things ..
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hiiragi7 · 23 hours ago
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Yes
We are often different and that is okay!
We don't need to be exactly the same as each other. We don't need to prove how similar we are to each other to all coexist in the same community or prove that we belong here. We don't need to minimize our differences to be accepted.
Does that mean our experiences can't be similar or never overlap or have blurred lines? Absolutely not! But it does mean we do not need to force ourselves to fit into a box we do not fit.
There will be folks in the middle, there will be folks that are more one origin than another, there will be folks that have very little in common with others of their origin and folks that have quite a lot in common. There will be endogenic systems with CDDs (hi, me) and traumagenic systems without CDDs. There will be disordered systems who don't really relate all that much to other disordered systems. There will be mixed origin systems that are a mix of all-endogenic or all-traumagenic origins, there will be traumaendo systems, etc. And we should talk about all of these!!
We can also have both "these two things, broadly, are different" and "on an individual level, there may not be any differences between these two things aside from personal identity for some systems". Also "these categories may be fluid over time for some systems and shouldn't be treated as rigid and unchanging".
A lot of conversations around non-disordered systems say it's "just like DID but without the disordered part" and I think that's really harmful and unproductive. Non-disordered systems do not have to be "just like DID" to be valid! Let's not base all our ideas of what different kinds of plurality can look like on DID.
The constant comparisons of various forms of plurality to DID really just feels like erasing the sheer amount of diversity in experiences we're working with here (pushes the idea that all plurality is somehow related to DID, which isn't far off from "plurality cannot exist outside of DID"), as well as gives the impression that DID is Alters Disorder and that the "disordered part" can be easily separated from it, as well as that DID parts are the exact same as ("just like") non-DID plurality. Which... considering that most non-disordered systems don't particularly enjoy being referred to as dissociated parts or alters, doesn't really make sense.
Experiences can be different from each other and also not be a binary, we can be different and still have plenty of room for complex experiences, we can be different and still find use in shared spaces and terminology. We are not so different that we cannot understand each other.
It is good to be different because it means we have a lot to learn from each other.
A nuance / understanding I wish was out in syscourse more is that the ideas that
(1) Traumagenic / Dissociative / Disordered / CDD plurality is EXTREMELY different from Endogenic / Non Dissociative / Non Disordered Plurality
AND
(2) The line between traumagenic (and other labels) and endogenic (and other labels) is not always clear and frequently overlaping AND coexisting
Can both be true at the same time; Ie Two things can be extremely different AND not mutually exclusive
Like.... I feel me, @hiiragi7, and @indigochromatic are very clear examples of there being a mixed and/or grey line between false dichotomy of CDD vs non-disordered plurality as systems that have all been diagnosed with a CDD and have different but heavily notable aspects of non-disordered plurality / endogenic plurality / quiogenic plurality
The two experiences are very different and only have surface level similarities BUT trying to divide the two into clean and separate groups will always results in the ostracization of individuals that don't fall into that A or B category.
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sidabro · 12 days ago
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Οκαυ maybe im retarded. that movie is not niche and i didnt discover a a forgotten vintage. This was nominated for best foreign film award when i was a firstgrader
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crossbackpoke-check · 1 year ago
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Okay so this is gonna sound very unhinged
But the screenshot you posted of the doc for Omega Yamo had text
And I may have zoomed in and been able to decipher the words
And I’m obsessed with there being more than one Alpha in that scenario
And I think you’re a genius and I love your writing even though I probably wasn’t supposed to be able to read it
Again I’m sorry for being so insane but I couldn’t help it 🙃
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SCREAMINGGGG anon i am in love with you. i appreciate the level of unhinged sooo much, the only thing you have to be sorry for is inflating my ego to an enormous size
howmstever!!! i may have tricked you!!! there are actually two omega yamo fics in the works 🤐🤫 they just happen to exist in the same document right now because ??? why not
#until one of them gets enough words to kick the other out they will coexist peacefully &i will hop between them sooo chaotic &unproductively#i keep typing things and then redacting them about the other omega yamo fic for literally no reason like. i’m telling you about it??#it’s not gonna be a surprise??? but for clarity’s sake they are not related to each other/in the same universe#and yes one of them does have multiple alphas 🤭#both fics are incredibly self-indulgent (and by extension incredibly For Y’all in my inbox) like it is just y’all 🤝 me 🤝 omega yamo#also to the other yamo/nuge anon please do not fret i see your message!! it is in my inbox!!! i just have been keeping it there#so that i can look at it because it makes me happy and also is very good motivation 🥺🥰😭#do i have a tag for omega yamo??? do i need a tag for omega yamo???? at this point probably yes#liv in the replies#i am being soooooo normal in this message and i feel like i should tell you that irl when i read this each paragraph was my jaw dropping#and then i sat there and 💕🥰🦋💗 <- shrieking for like. five minutes while trying to type. what an honor#the!!! highest!!! compliment!!!!#once again reiterating though i am so slow at writing 😭 however!! i am planning to wrap up with apps & coursework next week#& if i don’t pick up an insane amount of shifts in the four days between moves i want to write sooo much. in so many different documents 🫡#bro ALSO??? i just went to the screenshot to see what you could’ve read out from the ask and do you got eagle eyes or a magnifying glass or#how tf did you read that. what witchcraft did you work to make my blurry ass picture readable zoomed in &can i have it bc i’m using this now
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elysiansparadise · 2 months ago
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Ruler of the 1st house in the houses
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𝐑𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟏𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟏𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞
Throughout their lives, these natives experience experiences that make them very clear that they themselves must be their own priority, that they should never put other people's needs first if that means putting their own needs aside. They are focused on knowing themselves better, increasing their knowledge of themselves and always keeping their priorities in mind so as not to stray. They stand out for being very independent people who may even be uncomfortable having to ask for help from others, in fact, it is likely that they have learned to be independent from a very early age. Many of them have a great ability to lead groups or at least inspire others to empower themselves and do things their way. They never hesitate to say what they think, but they can be more reserved when it comes to opening up emotionally to others, as they have very high walls between themselves and others. They do not like to interfere in the lives of others and hate when others feel they have the right to tell them how to live their lives or how to act, and they won't hesitate defending their points of view fiercely. It bothers them when other people don't take them seriously or when their boundaries are ignored, and believe me, they won't allow themselves to be trampled on by someone, because they stand out for their courage and strong sense of self. Their immediate environment sees them as people with a strong, almost unbreakable self-esteem, they exude power, strength and can give the impression of being invincible, even being able to easily intimidate other people. They do not like to feel or appear weak. They constantly seek to improve either in the skills they have or as people. They have initiative and do not sit back and wait for things to happen, some can be impatient when it comes to seeing the fruits of their work. They don't like to feel unproductive. They are people who will always prefer to be authentic rather than hypocritical in order to fit in or be surrounded by people, and since I mentioned it, many of them can be rather ambiverts. They are very selective with the people they surround themselves with and being alone is not a fear for them.
𝐑𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟏𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟐𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞
These natives prioritize finding stability in their lives, in every possible sense, from economic stability to mental and emotional stability. Throughout their lives they embark on a path of self-worth, working on their self-esteem and learning to recognize their positive sides. They are focused on making their lives something they can enjoy and do things that they consider valuable to invest their time and energy. They are very attractive people, they can be seen as naturally elegant. They aspire to have a quiet life in which they have everything they need and did not need when they were younger, they know what they deserve and do not settle for crumbs or little. These natives stand out for being calm and rational, they don't like to rush into things, but they know how to give their all once they make a decision. They highly value their authenticity and independence, however, they do not hesitate to support their closest circle. It is very likely that from a young age they have been a strong support, whether for a parent, other family members or even friends. They give the impression of being very stable, of having things in order in their lives and of being almost unbreakable, they project a strength that is rather approachable and people can feel safe with them, even drawn at them. For them, tangibility is crucial, that is, actions before words, from showing their love and affection with actions or gifts (as well as enjoying being shown affection in this way), to not promising things that they know they cannot. achieve. They are people who work hard and progressively in everything they consider important, whether in the workplace, personal or love sphere. They believe that small details are always important, small efforts that are constant and significant. There are little things about these natives that are considered attractive, often things that are not under their control such as mannerisms or their voice. They take care of their appearance and like to dress in clothes that they feel comfortable in, they prioritize their own comfort when it comes to this. They may easily attract money into their lives or be naturally good at managing finances.
𝐑𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟏𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟑𝐫𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞
For these natives speaking their minds is the most important thing, they like to be clear with what they think, want and even feel. If they have something to say they will not hesitate to do so. They stand out for being very rational people, capable of seeing things from different perspectives. Their minds can be restless and that can lead them to be people with a tendency to multitask and even have many diverse and different interests among them. Speaking of which, these people love to learn new things, the idea of ​​knowing everything they can about a topic that catches their attention fascinates them, although sometimes once this task is finished they can get bored. They need constant mental stimulation and to stay busy. Many of them have a strong tendency to overthink things and be somewhat anxious, worrying about the future. Despite this, these people know how to adapt very well to changes and constantly seek to make small changes, whether in their rhythms of life, activities or even in their appearances. These people can read well the environment in which they find themselves and easily adapt to it as well as to the people who are there. Your relationship with your siblings or cousins ​​can be very influential, or they can even be a great influence on your siblings or other younger members of your family. These natives are quite cunning and intelligent and give the impression of being not easily fooled and very cultured. People tend to listen to what they say more easily, because they have a lot of charm. For them, communication is key in any relationship, especially those that they consider important to them, and they could not be with someone who does not have a topic of conversation or who does not let them talk/does not listen to them. They like to maintain a calm and bearable environment, jokers, witty and very funny, they love to entertain themselves and amuse others with their stories and occurrences. There is a playful and slightly mischievous appeal to them, and it should be added that as the years go by, they seem to look younger. It is easy for them to follow a conversation since, as I mentioned, they adapt very quickly to people, no matter how different they are from them. They stand out as good communicators, whether orally or in writing, and also for their creativity. They like to learn how to do many things and it is no surprise that many of them have a wide variety of skills.
𝐑𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟏𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟒𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞
Throughout their lives, these natives experience experiences that lead them to always seek their own emotional comfort, to worry and take care of their emotional needs, but above all their inner peace. They are naturally perceptive and caring people when it comes to other people's emotions, they seem to read them very well and never try to make others uncomfortable. They are internally very sensitive people, although they create a shell that protects them from getting hurt or from others taking advantage of this emotionality and their hearts. The family gave great lessons to the native and their relationship with them is quite important to them, whether because of how close they are and how well they get along, or because of the scars they may have left. These natives do not forget easily, and may find themselves constantly thinking about the past. They do not hesitate to go deep inside themselves and analyze themselves, they are quite self-aware, but it will always be a process that they prefer to do on their own. Many of them may have this bad tendency to repress their feelings, always wanting to appear strong or simply preferring to break down when they are alone. They are very supportive and warm people with those they love, always respectful of their emotions and boundaries. They have a strong protective instinct towards all those with whom they form strong emotional bonds. For them it is crucial to feel safe and secure, there is nothing they want more than to keep their inner child happy, avoiding repeating situations from the past that previously hurt them. There is something about them that makes people feel naturally comfortable, people can open up to them more easily and tell them very private things. They may feel a strong interest in the past of the people they care about, from family or friends. It is likely that these natives are very similar, either in physical appearance or behavior to ancestors or older people in their families. Home for them is a place where they feel like they can be themselves, where they don't have to have their barriers up and where they feel protected and comfortable. They may find comfort in being with themselves, although at times the loneliness can become overwhelming. What is clear is that they value quality in their emotional ties with people, which is why they prefer to be on their own rather than calling the wrong person family or friend.
𝐑𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟏𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟓𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞
Over the course of their lives, these natives embark on a path toward self-love and self-acceptance. They are people who can place many expectations on themselves and can be very demanding, although very few people see it and realize it. This happens because people tend to see them as very confident, charismatic and incredibly attractive people, since these natives have the ability to attract the attention of others with ease. A mix of attractiveness and sensuality. Throughout their lives, they learn to love and appreciate each other, to never let disrespect pass or be with people who do not love and respect them as they deserve. These people have a very intense way of loving, for them it is all or nothing, they are not people who commit halfway, and despite their flirtatious yet independent appearance, when they find someone with whom they want to be in a relationship, they do not hesitate. They really like romance, details and they love the idea of ​​having a relationship in which love and passion abound. They like emotional intensity in their relationships, someone who adores them and loves them madly, who is crazy about them and shows the same degree of devotion as them. These people know what they want in a relationship, and they would rather be alone than be with someone who doesn't meet the requirements. They are usually lucky enough to be liked back by their crushes and can attract many hidden admirers. These people like to show themselves as strong, confident and empowered, as people who do not depend on anyone or the opinions of other people, because the experiences they have lived have taught them to be authentic and true to themselves.These people may excel deeply in some skill or talent, and may be seen as great at this. They are really passionate about their interests, beyond romance, if they have hobbies they can put their heart entirely into them. They have the ability to charm the people they interact with. They are very honest and open people with what they want, they do not hold back their opinions and can have a lethal bluntness on many occasions. Deep down, they are very expressive, emotional and loving individuals, never leaving any room for doubt about the love or appreciation they feel.
𝐑𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟏𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟔𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞
Throughout their lives, these natives experience the constant belief that to be worthy of something they have to work hard, although this leads them to be dedicated and responsible people with everything they consider important in their lives, it also influences the way they relate to their environment, believing that they have to be something specific or achieve things in order to feel good about themselves. These natives have a strong need to be productive, to do something constantly, and they can feel bad about themselves when they are not being efficient. They are demanding of themselves, they stand out for their intelligence and observation skills. Their independence is one of their strongest characteristics and despite being very capable individually, they know how to work as a team and are quite efficient and collaborative. They like to feel like they are doing things with purpose, meaningful things, and they think very carefully about what they want to use their energy for, making sure not to waste time on things they consider meaningless. They are very helpful and empathetic people from a rather practical approach, from giving advice to being easy to solve issues of any kind. They can be very nervous people, they have a tendency to worry a lot about things, from their own performance to possible outcomes. For them it is important to have a job for which they feel passion, a job that allows them to have a certain individuality and that allows them to grow and continue learning, this placement makes it likely that they will work in something that they really like, even from a very young age. They are people who respect all living beings, whether people, plants, animals, they can have a strong bond with their pets and manage to connect with animals in a unique and wholesome way. Even if they like fun and variety, these people prefer to have a rather stable life, putting their mental and emotional peace before anything else. They are people very focused on their well-being in all areas, taking care of themselves and doing things that give them a sense of fulfillment. They stand out for their high level of devotion and loyalty in everything they consider important in their lives. They have a great work ethic that allows them to grow quickly in the workplace.
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𝐑𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟏𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟕𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞
One of the most prominent lessons in the lives of these natives is about relationships, learning that it is better to be alone than in bad company. Many of these natives develop this balance in learning to be on their own, but also in learning to relate to other people. These natives greatly seek quality in their relationships and put a lot of their energy into making them positive and equitable for both parties. They are people who are very easy to understand and read other people, their attitudes, feelings and needs. People find them very alluring, graceful and people who are generally pleasant to be with, because they are not judgmental of others and when they accept someone into their lives they accept them genuinely. Despite this, they are people who are very clear about what they do not want to deal with in relationships and tend to be quite assertive in them. These people appear polite and approachable to other people, they have a certain charisma that others quickly perceive and it is precisely this subtle charm that attracts others. They will never stay in relationships in which they feel that they give more than they receive, because that search for stability and balance that they have applies in all areas but specifically in their relationships. This placement assures us that the natives will be able to feel that they can be themselves in the presence of their partner, feeling more authentic than when they are with other people. They are very romantic, dedicated and passionate people in their relationships, and they can attract a future spouse like that. Marriage will bring you a lot of self-discovery and can be very beneficial for your lives, giving you not only happiness but fulfillment. They can more easily gain the support of other people and in addition to knowing how to work very well as a team, they manage to connect and really make others feel heard and understood. It is likely that when they were young they gave a lot of importance to what others thought of them, and this is precisely one of the issues that they learn to deal with as time goes by. These people do not hesitate to take the first step in love, they are driven and very direct. Their personality in them may be dominant, however, they may be attracted to equally dominant people.
𝐑𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟏𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟖𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞
Here we meet natives with a certain aura of mystery around them. They do not usually reveal much about themselves so easily, they choose to keep to themselves everything they consider important or very personal, they are observers, and will always deeply analyze whether someone is trustworthy or not, trusting their instincts and being right most of the time. They seek something more than the reality to which they are accustomed, they seek to break the barriers of the predictable, mundane and superficial, entering the core of things and people. They look for the genuine, the raw and the authentic. These people are aware of the beautiful sides of life, but also the most tense and that is precisely why they remain alert, attentive and careful not to get hurt again. They hate feeling too vulnerable, showing their weaknesses, their sadness or points that others can use to hurt them. They are people surrounded by a lot of enigma and magnetism, many people recognize in them a survivor, someone whose strength and reserve makes them feel strangely drawn to them. They may find themselves attracting attention even when they want to go unnoticed. Loyal by nature, these people stand firm to their words, although they are not usually too open with what they feel, they feel intensely, they are quite intense in fact, and capable of giving themselves completely. It is difficult for them to trust other people, many times having trusted and been betrayed at their earliest ages, they have learned to rely on themselves and it can be a difficult task for them to let others in. The world is a complex place for them, full of bittersweet memories, some that they would like to return to and others that they would like to erase, yet their strength makes them reborn stronger and wiser. They do not hesitate to provide support and guidance, but it is difficult for them to accept when someone wants to do the same for them. They long to know themselves completely, even if it makes them face things about themselves that are difficult to accept, they are not afraid to know themselves completely, which makes them want to know others with such depth.
𝐑𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟏𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟗𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞
Gifted with great curiosity, these natives have a way of seeing life that is quite out of the box, not settling for everything they are used to seeing in their daily lives. They have the need to find themselves and their authenticity in a huge world full of possibilities. They are not conformist people, and they are constantly in search of information, knowledge and experiences that bring them positive sensations or that are enough to satisfy that desire to discover. Discovering goes beyond the earthly plane such as traveling or interacting with people from other countries (which may be possible), but rather also encompasses the spiritual, emotional and/or internal terrain. They have a high intrapersonal intelligence, which gives the impression of being rational, self-aware and wise people, and also allows them to get to know others in a more personal way. They stand out for their open mentality and their ability to delve into seeing things from different points of view. Many of them possess a certain charm and natural charm, there is something about them and their nature that makes them attract others and rewarding experiences throughout their lives. They always prefer to live a life with passion and purpose, and they are in constant search for theirs, to do something important or at least satisfactory in their stay in this life, they do not like to do things just for the sake of it, they long to give it life, give it a meaning to things. They do not allow themselves to be prejudiced and prefer not to have them in the first place, they appreciate the beauty in differences and do not like to make others feel uncomfortable with who they are. They are people who have a mindset of not worrying but rather taking care of themselves, they do not seek control over what they know they cannot control and on many occasions they know that it is better to let go and let go, having it easier than other people to do this. They may have interests that people consider unconventional or that are very different from those of the people around them. They are people who take pride in being different but don't feel the need to flaunt it. They have an interest in other cultures and may have plans in their dreams to visit different places in the world to which they feel connected in one way or another.
𝐑𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟏𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟏𝟎𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞
These natives are perfectly clear about what is important to them, what they want to achieve and who they are. From a young age they know that they have to work hard to get what they want, and from a young age they show themselves to be responsible and dedicated. This is an indicator of a person who had to mature since they were children, carrying issues or responsibilities both personal and from others, and in some cases, from people older than them. They tend to easily attract the admiration, respect and attention of people, likewise many of them can be successful in jobs in which they either have a position of authority or in which they are in constant contact with people. They can easily gain recognition simply by being themselves or pursuing one of their passions or talents. Their image matters a lot to them, so they do not hesitate to defend themselves and fight to maintain everything they have achieved throughout their lives. They have a strong need to feel proud of themselves, they often place high expectations on themselves, and it may be a behavior they have learned from a very young age. There is nothing they want more than to make their inner child proud, and be the adult they would have liked to have by their side. They believe that only they themselves can solve their problems, that no one will come to save them and that they have to make things happen, however, deep down, they wish they could have guidance and support. Many of them are not very open with other people, but what is certain is that having them in your life guarantees you a partner, friend or partner who will always be blunt, supportive and shared with you, never making you feel vulnerable or unprotected. It can be easy for these people to relate fluidly with bosses or authority figures, and it should be added that they can be quite good bosses themselves thanks to their decision and practical and fair vision of things. They like to surround themselves with productive, hard-working people who motivate them, these people being partners, friends or family. People who make excuses, who take advantage of others, and who are hypocritical earn their disdain. They are people who, although open and direct with what they think and want, are difficult to get to know deeply.
𝐑𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟏𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟏𝟏𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞
These natives are in a constant search for belonging, they are likely to feel that they hardly fit in with their peers, that they have problems connecting on a deep level with others or forming bonds of friendship. Although it is difficult for them to call anyone a friend, once they give that title, these natives stand out for being very supportive, encouraging and honest people. Precisely because it is difficult for them to form friendships, when they have one that they consider genuine they attach great importance to loyalty to that bond. These natives are interested in deeper and more personal ties, they feel that to form a good friendship, both need to be themselves and adore each other in that way, authenticity and openness are things they look for. They are independent people, very firm in what they believe and what they consider fair, they have their own criteria and do not feel the need to follow the masses or act according to what others believe or expect. Many of them have great charisma, and it seems to grow the older they get, they have a knack for inspiring other people, often motivating them to be themselves and go towards everything they aspire to. Since I mention it, they stand out for being not only creative people, but great dreamers even from a very young age. They stand out for their intelligence, cunning and for being able to learn many different things regardless of how different each topic is from the other. They like to remain rational and act logically and without causing so much drama. They do not like to live in the past, do what everyone else does or feel like one of the crowd. These natives seek to do what seems important to them, but above all in their own way. Sometimes they can think too much about the future, facing tendencies to overthink or worries about what is going to happen. Some are somewhat nervous and thinking about the future either excites them too much or causes them some anxiety. These natives can have great economic stability if they decide to pursue that career that attracts their attention. Many of them may enjoy spending a lot of time on social networks and may become influential, popular or well-known on them. People can admire them quite a bit and even come to appreciate them.
𝐑𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟏𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟏𝟐𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞
Here we find people who, due to life circumstances, have learned not to reveal much about themselves, including very personal aspects. These people may have experienced a lot of stress or difficult events to process at a young age, causing them to mature prematurely. They have great intuition that makes them realize what others go unnoticed, they sense people's moods, their emotions at the moment and even whether they are trustworthy people or not. They can seem mysterious and very reserved to the people they interact with, they decide what to show and what not to show. They are very empathetic people and sensitive to the moods of the people around them, they are capable of putting themselves in someone else's shoes. They are understanding, sensitive and much more emotional than they show at first glance. These people long to find either a place where they feel like they belong or a group of people that makes them feel understood, since many of them have the ability to make others feel accepted, supported and loved, even when they throughout in their lives they may feel that they do not connect so easily with others. They may have abilities to inspire, care, heal or make others feel better, and people can trust them more easily. These people look for a deep meaning not only in life, but in general behind everything that surrounds them, they prefer depth, that which has a true significance, one that marks them and contributes something to their lives. Many of them may have a strong tendency to doubt their intention, often fearing that their fears will get in the way and cloud their judgment. They are people with a very beautiful and resilient soul, often carrying wounds that people are not aware of, and that is precisely what makes them want to really see inside people, make them feel as seen as they would like to feel. Throughout their lives they experience identity crises, or long periods in which they are searching for themselves, often alone. Many of them seem to be in their own world, because they do not seek to get involved in other people's lives. Things hardly remain hidden for these natives, they have the peculiarity that information always reaches them, even if they do not look for it.
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balioc · 26 days ago
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Looking at the world from a manager's perspective, you can productively model the pool of workers as being divided into a few basic groups, which are defined and characterized by their driving motivations.
Insert all the usual disclaimers for this sort of thing - this is the roughest type of rough typology. I pulled these categories out of my raw intuition, and possibly a few more would crop up with some additional thought. In reality, the boundaries of these categories are incredibly fuzzy, and almost every individual is actually going to be motivated by a complicated mix of all the relevant motivations; we're talking REALLY SIMPLE HEURISTICS here. Etc.
There have been other well-known worker typologies that share a lot in common with my thoughts here; this is mostly not novel, it's mostly meant to refine a few ideas for particular purposes.
Hustlers are motivated by concrete personal advantage. Most commonly, and most straightforwardly, they want money - as much of it as they can get. They may also be interested in fame, idiosyncratic perks, etc. They do whatever they have to do in order to get what they want.
No surprise: you see huge preponderances of these guys in fields that provide outsize concrete rewards, e.g. finance, the upper echelons of management, etc. But not every natural-born Hustler is in a position to enter a glitzy high-paying field, and in fact you find Hustlers all throughout society and all throughout the economy, finding or making hustles wherever they go.
Having Hustlers working for you is mostly pretty great. They get shit done. They can be induced to work incredibly hard - probably harder than anyone else, under most circumstances - and they'll shank their own mothers if the price is right. If you need anything really important from them, anything at all, it's just a matter of bribing them enough.
...they will also, of course, cheerfully shank you if the price is right. Hustlers aren't the only wellsprings of institutional politics and infighting, but they're the most dangerous ones; they're always potential rivals to everyone around them. Also, you need to keep the tangible rewards flowing in a steady stream in order to get anything out of them, or else they'll put most of their effort into jumping ship (one way or another).
Craftsmen are motivated by the desire to do good work in their chosen fields, for its own sake and for the sake of their treasured self-image as people who do good work.
As you'd expect, for the most part, they're excellent workers and should be prized. But they're not perfect workers. Common weaknesses and downsides include:
They tend to have their own ideas about How Things Should Get Done; they're often resistant to externally-imposed product/service requirements or process changes (and bad at implementing those things) (no matter how important or well-conceived they are), and they're very resistant to "just get it out the door, right now done is better than good."
Being driven chiefly by internal motivation is great, but sometimes it's useful to be able to push things along with external motivators, and Craftsmen are pretty resistant to those. They don't like working more or harder than they're naturally inclined to work, they mostly sneer at carrots, and sticks make them sad and unproductive.
It's important to note that, while noteworthy skill within a field correlates with having a Craftsman temperament and motivation suite - for obvious reasons - those things are not identical at all. Plenty of Craftsmen are bad at their jobs, or just average, and plenty of the best workers are most motivated by things other than the Excellence of the Work Itself.
Fanatics are a relatively rare and specialized group, whom you find mostly within a few specific sorts of culturally-valorized fields. They're motivated by a desire to be part of something Important and Good in a Broader Sense: to Save the World, or some smaller-bore version of that.
They make amazing front-line soldiers, in the sorts of institutions that have "front-line soldiers." They work super hard, and you don't even need to bribe them, you just need to keep them hopped up on inspiration.
The big problem with them is that they're mostly motivated by a feeling - the feeling of Being Righteous - and it's not easy to control where they get that feeling, in any kind of precise way. They're just as resistant to external motivators as Craftsmen are, or even more so, but they're also not being guided by an ideal of effective quality. (No, not even if their chosen cause is theoretically all about an ideal of effective quality, hem hem.) They will happily waste vast amounts of time and money doing useless things, or even counterproductive things, so long as they're engaged in tasks that hit the right psychological buttons for them. There's also a constant risk that a Fanatic will decide that his employer is unrighteous, or that one of his coworkers is unrighteous, and start an internal conflict; the risk scales in a more-than-linear fashion with the number of Fanatics you keep around.
The biggest group, unsurprisingly, is the Normies. In most fields, it is much the biggest group. Normies are motivated by the desire to be members in good standing of their communities, to have positive relationships with the people around them, and to live up to basic norms and expectations.
Managerial skills, in the traditional sense, are incredibly important with Normies. If you want them to do good work for you - and you should want that, as a manager, you've almost certainly got a whole bunch of them - not only do you have to keep them pointed in the right direction, you have to make sure that they're supporting each other. With Hustlers, you just have to throw money at them (and avoid their power plays); with Craftsmen, you just have to let them do their thing, and occasionally badger them into giving you what you need; with Fanatics, you just have to be inspirational; but with Normies, you have to lead, and construct a productive community. You have to set reasonable, achievable norms and expectations that will get you what you need.
This wouldn't be complete if I didn't talk about the Defectors. The Defectors are motivated by not working. They don't want to be there, they resent having to do their jobs, and their primary goal is to shirk as much as possible. They will, by default, put much more effort into shirking than into their assigned tasks.
Obviously, managers don't want to have to deal with them, for good reason. But they're out there, in large numbers - not always in the places and fields where you'd expect to find them - and learning to manage them is sometimes more viable than trying to get rid of them. ("Moving Heaven and Earth to find them jobs that will change their attitude" is often a good plan, although of course it's not always possible and not always worth it.)
Crucially, Defectors are not Normies. If you start with the assumption that the average baseline worker is lazy and sour, you will make some incredibly stupid decisions. There are some fields where, for structural reasons, you can expect that a very large number of your workers will be Defectors; this is a huge and complicated challenge, well beyond the scope of this post, and good luck to you if you have to handle it, but it's not the default.
----------------------
Once you have those categories in your head, and can play with them, a number of obvious-seeming ideas present themselves. Just a couple, for now:
Most high-level executives are Hustlers, or have strong Hustler tendencies, for obvious reasons. Most of the people around them are Hustlers, or have strong Hustler tendencies. This means that they tend to overweight the Hustler outlook, by a lot, when they try to model what their workers are like. More specifically, I'd wager that a lot of them intuitively divide the world into "good workers" ( = Hustlers) and "bad workers" ( = Defectors). This will lead to a heavy overreliance on tangible rewards, a systematic shortchanging of community-building, etc. Which is in fact just what we see.
In particular - crucially - Hustlers and Defectors are the only worker types who ever become more productive under heavy stress. Hustlers actually benefit from it, because it raises the stakes of the game that they're already playing. (If you succeed, you'll be king of the world! If you fail, you'll be shark food! Go go go!) Defectors suffer terribly from stress, of course, but they can sometimes be spooked into doing their jobs as opposed to doing nothing, and sometimes that's the best/easiest way to get something out of them. But stress is terrible for everyone else. Craftsmen lose their focus. Fanatics lose their hope. It's worst of all for Normies, because they take all their cues from the vibes around them; they're productive when they learn to associate work with comfort and happiness, and when you fill their working world with frantic desperation, you just put them in a permanent cringe state.
stop trying to pit your Normies against each other in competitions for status and rewards dear God what are you stupid
To some extent, you can control your institution by controlling what types of workers you have. But only to some extent. There are only so many Hustlers and Craftsmen to go around, and if you want them, you will have to (a) be able to identify them reliably on little information [HINT: you are probably very bad at this], and (b) provide them with what they want [tangible rewards / comfortable security and interesting work]. "We are going to employ only the good special people" is feasible if you're an outfit of four workers; at a dozen, it's already become a stretch; at a few hundred, uh, pfffffffft. If you want to operate at scale, you need to be able to make Normies do good work, there is no substitute for it.
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kiztae · 6 months ago
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raindrops ― s.jaeyun
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genre: fluff, very suggestive, boyfriend trope
wc: 1.2k
warnings: f.reader, making out ( alot), dry humping, slightly sub! or switch!jake, praise, neediness.
summary: it's cold, it's raining, you and your boyfriend like each other way too much and know just how to feel warmer admist this rainy weather.
a/n: this is pretty short, i had an impulse to write after seeing this jake concept pic and this was what came out. i could possibly write a pt. 2, if you'd like ◡̈ . i also wanted to post after ghosting this account for so long. i hope you enjoy! (ps. jake is dangerously pretty, get this man under control.)
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"but it's so cold!" he whined playfully.
small droplets of water were pouring over your window as you laid down, each of your body's temperatures radiating against the other, serving as the best source of warmth in the middle of this chilly rain night.
"you're being such a baby. a cute one, but a baby." you chuckle in response, your hands tracing soft circles over your boyfriend's t-shirt covered back. "just for a little while! come on."
were you being unproductive? maybe. did it matter? no. your exams were finally over and you had spent the last days catching up on anything that was not related to your studies (thank god).
when you first tried to move your icy hands under jake's t-shirt and onto his wide back you were met with a quick yelp and a tug away from him as he whisper-shouted a "woah!" in amazement.
you both giggled it off but he made sure to grab your hands in his and kiss them gently while he cuddled you even more tightly (which seemed impossible before) as the sweet loving boyfriend he was. the same sweet loving boyfriend who while doing so prohibited you from repeating your past try for a warm up.
"i like you so much, but that is so not happening." he stared at you with a smile and then a playful squint of his eyes as he reached back for your waist to push you further against him, closing his eyes briefly while he hid his face in the crook of neck. "i can keep you warm enough like this." he muffled.
"oh please, that's just an excuse to get closer to my chest. don't think i don't know you well enough, sim." you rolled your eyes with a brief giggle and then moved one hand to his hair and started to play with it softly, admiring your boyfriend's pretty features in awe.
"hah, maybe." he replied with amusement. if you thought you liked your boyfriend too much, he was entirely drunk on you. he took in your scent, your skin against his, all of you with such intent, almost as if you were surreal and just an illusion. you were perfect. if he could, he'd chew you up.
"mm, maybe you should keep me warm like this." you sighed with satisfaction as you curled your finger on his hair with a bit more strength, earning the cutest reaction from your boyfriend, a shaky breath and his hazy eyes staring up at you.
"yeah?" he smiled, his excitement being obvious but you loved it just like that. you both always took care of each other, these moments were your favorite.
"yeah." you hooked a handful of his hair in your hand and carefully brought him up to your face with enough force to make him breathe out from the pull but not hurt him, at least not for now.
"you're so perfect." he managed to let out quietly before he smashed his lips on yours impatiently. as always, his lips felt so plush against yours, even with the almost insatiable way in which he was kissing you, he made it feel soft. his mouth quickly started to devour yours once you slightly parted it open for him, your breath getting caught in your chest with how hot you were starting to feel. you could feel his tongue brush against yours, the palm of his hand caress your cheeks, all while he grasped you so intently.
he could never get tired of kissing you. he was pretty sure it was one of his most favorite things to do, no matter the time or place. if he could have you, be with you, he would do so.
"mnf― jake―" you spoke breathlessly, your mind now lost on him and barely able to speak a few words. you don't know why you even tried to say something when you already know just how heated you both get once you start.
"babe? ha― you good?" he muttered out without really stopping to pepper you with kisses, his hands now starting to roam your body, grabbing whatever he could with pure need.
"mhm― yeah, so good." your arms wrapped themselves around his neck in a sweet embrace. the boy quickly nodded with a tiny chuckle of satisfaction, moving his hands further down to start groping your ass, filling his hands with it.
"you're so hot. god―" without even pronouncing the end of his sentence clearly, his mouth was on yours again. it was like he was eating you up, like a starved man. with his hands on your ass, he managed to start pressing you against his hardening crotch, pushing against you almost in a desperate way. "you're warm now, every inch of your skin..." he grasped your thigh with a certain force that made you whine into him, your arms closing in on him even more. his whispers between kisses and his straight up fondling of you made your actions get gradually sloppy with how good it felt to have him on top of you.
"jake― faster." you whined while one of your hands reached for his hair again, aware of much it riled him up. you weren't sure how but you already felt like you were on fire, the knot in your stomach threatening to snap any moment with the way your boyfriend's hips pushed against your center so well.
"whatever you need― fuck, i'm close. i'm sorr―" before he could even try to finish that sentence, you shut him up quickly with a colliding of your lips on his, not wanting to hear anything like an apology right now. he was just so sweet, he wanted to make you feel so good, could you really blame him?
you both could not help the constant airy gasps between kisses, your bed starting to shake in sync with jake, both of you too lost in the moment to care about anything other than giving each other pleasure.
he went to grab your waist with one hand, placing the other against the back of your head to keep you both close to each other, neither of your mouths wanting to separate. it wasn't anything new, you both knew just much you needed to feel each other's lips on yours, loving to taste each other. to eat each other up, to your last breaths.
with a few last grinds of your boyfriend's hips on yours, you both moaned into each other's mouths while your highs took you over the edge, your breaths echoing around the room with rhythm.
"i am... definitely not cold anymore." he chuckled while he pressed his forehead against yours and placed a few strands of your hair behind your ear carefully.
"yeah? so i can finally get my cold hands under your shirt?" you ask while being unable to help your cheeky grin as you still tried to catch your breath.
"oh. that was not what i was saying― y/n!―" before he could finish talking, you had already jumped the boy and swept your chilly hands on his back while you both laughed and he tried his best to wiggle himself out of your grasp.
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© kiztae, 2024
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zipper-neck · 10 months ago
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Trans Rules of Engagement
By Florence Ashley
Strong communities make us all safer. As anti-trans movements gain in power and influence, holding space for each other through our flaws remains critical. Yet the very conditions that create our need for community care make it hard for us to care for each other. We are raw, wounded, traumatized, and hypervigilant. We make mistakes brought on by fear and hurt. We lash out at each other when we do wrong, often partaking in pile-ons facilitated by the synchronous nature of online interactions. Whether we realize it or not, we often exclude trans people from community when they need it most.
I have lost count of the number of trans people I have seen cast out of online trans spaces for misdeeds both major and minor—far too often with my help. I sometimes find myself wondering where they are now and whether they are still alive. Because, as Kai Cheng Thom has taught us, social death often means real death for trans people. Trans communities are life-sustaining in a world that hates us so, so much. In a world that wants us dead. We have lost too many people not to stop and think about how we can foster life among each other.
This goal I have for myself—that of fostering life—motivates the following principles and rules for engaging in online intra-community conflicts while preserving the life-sustaining spirit of our communities. Countless times have I failed to heed these principles and ignored these rules. This failure, which many of us share, is precisely why I now want to lay these principles and rules down on paper. If only as a reminder of my aspirations. The principles and rules are meant to be adopted for oneself, not imposed onto others. Their purpose is to foster productive engagement, not create even more conflict and rigidity. I hope that this will be a living document, and invite you to make your own version if you would like. Borrow what is useful, supplement with what is needed, alter what can be improved.
Some, and perhaps all, of the principles I acknowledge are false, hence the need for a living document. Each of my suggested rules have exceptions. In setting them out, I am staking a claim as to the sort of myths and half-truths that are necessary to sustain life in a world that wants us dead. We must treat them as true if we wish to foster life-sustaining communities and survive the hellscape we belabor.
Principles
1. We are all flawed, traumatized humans at the end of their rope. Many of our actions say more about the conditions we live under than who we are as people.
2. No one is disposable. No one is unsalvageable.
3. Life holds greater value than being right or comfortable. Hurt is preferable to death.
4. No one should be deprived of community.
5. Harm does not require further harm. Punishment does not equate protection or healing.
Rules
1. Do not depart from these rules, unless you have to.
2. Morgan M. Page’s Rule: Try to avoid criticizing other trans people in public. The world does it enough already.
3. Favor in person or private conversations: Addressing someone’s comments or actions in person or privately is typically more constructive and effective. It allows you to communicate more cogently and with more nuance problems in someone’s actions or words and because it is less likely to make them react defensively from a place of trauma or fear.
4. Take your time: Few things require an immediate response. Responding while caught in a surge of thoughts and feelings is often unproductive. Ask yourself how much harm was done, versus how much we are reminded of an earlier harm. Ask whether your response is rooted in misperception or potential biases towards the person due to race, disability, gender, or other marginalized identities. Consider whether their words or actions reflect a different kind of thinking or communication style, a lack of access to education, or limited access to progressive communities and norms. You can respond tomorrow, once you have collected your thoughts, talked to others, and gained perspective.
5. Don’t mob: Be aware of group dynamics. Ask yourself if you are connected to this person and in community with them. Avoid jumping into the fray when others are already criticizing the person. Do not invite others to join in and mob them. Withdraw if others join in, and kindly ask people to stay conscious of mobbing dynamics. Mobbing rapidly grows out of proportion.
6. De-escalate: Focus on de-escalating conflicts. Ask what people mean or want, and why. Ask them for clarification or elaboration if needed. Ask yourself if you know enough about the context of the situation. Distinguish the action from the person, and acknowledge that it is normal to respond defensively or aggressively to public criticism and mobbing. People are traumatized, mentally ill, and are scared of losing the little social support they have. As a result, conflict can trigger a fight-or-flight response in both those who are criticized and who criticize, which leads to escalating conflict and ends in a loss of community. Dropping the conversation to return at a later date is preferable to escalation. Often, I find it best to limit myself to three replies in conversations that aren’t constructive.
7. Respond proportionately: Responses to words and behaviours should be proportionate to their harm, and reflect a need for healing and protection rather than punishment. When we speak from a place of hurt, we can understandably but unfortunately forget the measure and impact of our response. Use language that reflects the nuances and gradations of harm rather than a coarse good and evil binary. Cutting all social support and community banishment are rarely a proportionate response, even for someone who doubles down and does not apologize. Responding proportionately is asking first and foremost what response sustains rather than dissolves life. Especially when it comes to words, it is better to under-react than to over-react.
8. Ensure support for everyone: Check in on those who are criticized and those who criticize them. Remind people that we are all in this together, and that banishment is not how we work as a community. Everyone deserves to have their needs met. Do not shun or reproach people who offer support to those who were criticized or called out. Distinguish supporting a person from enabling their behavior.
9. Hold space for people to grow: Allow space for people to be accountable, change, and move on from previous conflicts. Do not hold past behavior over people’s head, nor dig up past misdeeds to fuel present conflicts.
10. Resolve conflict and harm as a community: We must ask how our communities enable and cause hurt and harm, and find ways to transform the conditions that create them. Holding accountable, problem-solving, and conflict resolution are functions that should be taken up by the collective, not isolated and unsupported individuals.
11. Center those most hurt or harmed: Focus on supporting and empowering people who are hurt and harmed rather than on punishment. Ask what they need to be safe and integrated in our communities, while committing to support for everyone; what they need to repair their relationship to the person who hurt or harmed them. Focus your involvement on bringing people together, fostering dialogue and mutual understanding, and restoring a sense of community togetherness, rather than deciding who is right or wrong.♦
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genderkoolaid · 1 year ago
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hey i was wondering something and i wanted to know your opinion on it
Why is it problematic to say i hate men but not white people or straight people
(i'm a trans south east asian man btw)
I'd say on, like, a casual exasperated level, its not problematic to say "I hate [x]." It gets problematic when your venting about a group becomes your sole lens of viewing + interacting with that group.
Like, its entirely alright to be frustrated with behaviors common to cishet white men and express that in a vent by saying you hate them. But... its like how people make the correct point that they shouldn't be expected or obligated to give all their energy to coddling people with power over them, but translate that into "i never have to care about a member of this group at all" which directly conflicts with just. being in a community? Like women should not be expected to be caretakers for men, but people in a community need to take care of each other. When the only way you engage with a group of people is by expressing hatred and asserting how much you aren't obligated to care about them, its easier than people think to find yourself dehumanizing them.
Which does not mean "you are just as bad as a racist/misogynist" or "you are oppressing them"; you are An Individual whose biases are not necessarily backed up by powerful systemic powers. But, for one, its very easy for those biases to be used by systemic forces: with men, misandry is very easily used to justify all kinds of violence towards marginalized men & people perceived as men. You also have situations where people will say the Holocaust "wasn't as bad" as, say, US slavery, because it was "white on white violence," or saying the Armenian genocide also wasn't that big of a deal because "it was done to Christians and Christians are always killing people" (two real things I have seen been said). And, again: if you are going to care about community and restorative/transformative justice and all that, you need to be able to give a shit about all kinds of people who you live with. You need to be able to see them as whole beings you are capable of connecting with on some level. You don't personally need to date or befriend men, but you do need to be able to give a shit about men in your community.
Its fine to feel annoyance and anger and use "hatred" to express that. But the problem occurs when people take "its okay to be angry with your oppressors and not spend all your energy coddling them" and make that the end-all be-all of their relationship with people of whatever group; revolutions can't accomplish compassionate goals when they are run on hatred. Very hooksian concept but "love" (as in "a combination of care, commitment, knowledge, responsibility, respect and trust", not in a strictly emotional sense but as an action) is a skill that is as vital as understanding class dynamics and protest tactics. Maybe you don't need to love everyone, but try to have the capacity to love anyone; the ability to physically care for someone you don't emotionally like is, I think, a vital step towards truly challenging and bringing down the kyriarchy.
Basically its about recognizing when your venting stops being an outlet and starts being a way for unproductive feelings to shape how you view other people.
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fairuzfan · 10 months ago
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I’m a genocide historian and I do think comparisons between the Holocaust and the genocide in Palestine are unproductive because A) the Holocaust is pretty distinct from Palestinian genocide not in its exceptionalism but in its method - the “shipping” of victims from 20+ countries by international rail to a handful of centralized killing sites; 15000 people being gassed in Auschwitz daily (a single gas chamber had standing capacity for 2,000 people) and their stolen hair sold in bales for use as maritime rope and cushion stuffing - and forcing Holocaust parallels obfuscates the terrible and very unique methods of genocide being used by Israel against Palestinians. B) People often invoke the Holocaust as an emotional appeal regarding the moral culpability of all Jews (“how could you do what was done to your ancestors!”) when the same responsibility to end the genocide in Palestine exists regardless of one’s background or religion.
What Israel is doing in Palestine is 100% a genocide. Whether or not it is similar to the Holocaust (or any previous atrocity) does not make this any more or less true.
The thing that doesn't make sense to me with this point is that no one is saying that the Holocaust and Palestinian genocide are a 1:1 comparison. Like most people acknowledge the terrible genocide that occurred in the Holocaust against all its victims. But when they're talking about comparing genocides, there are tell tale signs that repeat throughout history that are precursers to larger events. Like when people compare the Warsaw ghetto to Gaza. I'd say those are quite similar in practice and intention. When we "compare" genocides (not a 1:1 but more of a drawing parellels by disecting the inteion and reasoning behind certain events that werent necessarily actively violent but passively violent) its to show "hey this is going to get really bad really soon because something like this happened before." Masha Gessen has an article about this that I reblogged.
People should care about fighting injustice everywhere I agree. But that doesn't change the fact that parallel drawing is an act separate from emotional invocation. When genocide scholars and survivors talk about "Hey this was like xyz that happened to me/in history" it's to show that there is precedent for this thinking and a terrible methodology happening when genocides occur. They dont just get really bad out of nowhere, you need to examine the precursors to prevent the large event from happening. How that large event happens differs from place to place, I agree. But to say that because things happen differently against different people means you can't examine the underlying reasons behind those actions is kind of reductive. By this definition you can never compare any genocide ever and all the terrible things that happen just happen naturally without any political or social influence.
Arnesa talks about how the Bosnian genocide precursors mirror the Palestinian genocide. She also talks about how Lula specifically should have mentioned other genocides (like Rwanda, Bosnia, etc) in his statement because there are parallels there too. I'd argue that's the real intention behind genocide studies, in that you notice trends and patterns to analyze how certain events might turn out.
I do want to mention because this is where im coming from a little bit, it is a pretty big zionist talking point (by especially American dems) saying you can't compare the holocaust to what's happening to Palestinians because it's antisemitic, which is not a real talking point and actually kind of rude in that it assumes that Palestinians can't call out parallels between their treatment and the treatment of those in the Holocaust because they're fundamentally doing it from a point of antisemitism and not a plea for recognition that the events are mirroring each other.
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Okay, so I'm gonna contribute to the discourse as someone who did research at both Khao Khaew and the now demolished Dusit Zoo, both part of the Zoological Parks Association Under Royal Patronage (ZPA). And as someone familiar with the workings of AZA zoos as a contrast.
I will concede that on one hand, standards and practices leave a lot to be desired. Unfortunately part of it is connected to the same social norms that have allowed JJ Market to continue the exotic pet trade, animal cafes and roadside zoos to proliferate, and people to own trendy dog breeds that clearly don't belong in Bangkok. And it's what leads to a lot of stereotypic and distressed behaviors passed off as cute (including but not limited to Moo Deng); this is before the toxic element of social media is added to the mix.
There's also economics. Yes, Thailand is technically an industrialized country, but in the same way that Indonesia and Vietnam are (contrast with Singapore, which is proportionately ahead of most Western countries). It's important to see what's between those gleaming skyscrapers. And that is a contributing factor to a lot of resource shortfalls for the zoos themselves; that's not getting into COVID and the ripple effect of closing Dusit Zoo without an alternative in place.
In that regard, the damning thing is that the standards of ZPA zoos are actually leaps and bounds ahead of not just the country but the region (minus Singapore; I would argue that it's actually unproductive to bring its zoo up as a comparison). Like look at Pata and the now defunct Tiger Temple; places that Westerners reveled in as late as the 00s. At least in ZPA case, they have also done essential conservation work; especially for clouded leopards, hornbills, and sun bears.
That doesn't make it any less WTF when I see a lot of clout-chasing vids that
Still part of me can't help but get defensive at the manner of fixation from a primarily western crowd. Both from those who use Western/Industrialized zoos as a way to contrast, as well as the PETA-types.
I do *not* think you yourself are being racist. If anything it's paternalistic to assume that a zoo in Thailand can't be held to higher standards. *However*, I have found a very patronizing mentality among many other western critics that does veer into racism frequently. You are already familiar with the way anti-zoo folks will take something out of context to fit their agenda; now force that through an othering lens.
At the same time, I will concede Thais are glossing over issues and practices when they rush to defend KKZ. Considering the context of how they are approached, I empathize with why they are defensive. But many do downplay and refuse to tackle the aforementioned social norm in how animal husbandry is viewed by wider populace.
TLDR: KKZ and the other ZPA branches have a ton of issues, a lot of those issues are socially systemic, and there should be pressure to reform. At the same time, it shouldn't get canceled, especially considering the important bts work it does and especially the immediate alternatives. And that pressure to reform should be accompanied by resources.
Hey there I really appreciate you sharing your research into the facilities! My intention of the posts has never been to "cancel" the zoo or to dictate their protocols. I don't believe in any sort of western dictation to other countries.
Honestly, I completely understand the defensiveness towards criticism of the handling of Moo Deng - she's an icon, she's brought in millions of dollars into the Thailand economy and the zoo's profits. Tourists are travelling all around the world to see her!
Although it has gotten to the point where their defensiveness is veering into delusion, with people insisting that pygmy hippos love it when you smack them and chase them around so it's fine actually... but I digress...
And I'm sure that the keeper thinks what he's doing is completely fine and not an issue. And if it generates clicks and views, that's good for the zoo, right? So why would they see any point in changing their practises?
I guess my hope is that maybe they might use those millions of dollars to improve conditions for the animals and the staff, provide resources for collaboration with zoos like Singapore Zoo and give keepers more resources to review and improve current pracises.
But they won't do that if their current poor animal husbandry practises are reinforced with clout and feverant defense of the keepers (it's actually kind of amazing how loyal people are to this one keeper!)
So now they have money and potentially more resources from this whole thing - but they're probably not going to use it to change practises that got them that money in the first place.
Anyway, I agree with your points and you've summed it up well!
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genderqueerdykes · 3 months ago
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I'm a trans masculine person, yet I still wear feminine clothes. I don't know if I'm still considered "trans" to cis people, and my own mother (cis) questioned if I was going to be an actual "man." I'm so confused, and I need help trying to explain my gender identity to people, especially her.
~Jace~
thats rude as hell. why is that any of her business. why do you have to prove your manhood ?
that is very bizarre behavior. honestly i would tell her that it's literally not her business and you do not have to prove anything to her. you are allowed to dress in whatever ways make you comfortable. cisgender men wake up and wear the exact same clothes every day and their manhood is not brought into question. only when the man is trans do people really get up our asses.
there's no dress code for being a man. there's no dress code for being trans. also she doesn't know what it's like to try to pass as a man. it's not always easy. people are nosy. people love to bully butch people. people love to harass transmascs for dressing "TOO" masc. this isn't any of her business. honestly tell her you aren't questioning her gender, so why does she feel the need to do it to you? like seriously, what reason could there possibly be. her gender is not under attack. your gender is none of her business. that is slightly creepy but also deeply unnecessary behavior
also transition comes in steps. you can't jump straight to the end all at once that defeats the purpose. part of transition is enjoying the journey. it's allowing yourself to change in small ways and enjoy the things about yourself you may not have been able to embrace before. it's seriously okay to take it slow and go at your own pace. when i came out to my family my sister did the exact same thing. she told me "if you want to be seen as a man, you have to act like one." and forced me to shovel the snow in the back yard that had accumulated from a blizzard.
people should not be prying this deep and forcing trans mascs and men to prove that we're mascs and men. for. some reason. you don't have to earn masculinity or manhood. also masculine people can have any degree of femininity existing alongside their masculinity. they don't cancel each other out. whether or not you ever identify as a man is not up to her and it's just not her business.
good luck, if anyone has any other suggetions feel free to pitch in. that is just bizarre and unproductive behavior
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sykestarot · 1 year ago
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what's holding you back? how should you move forward?
1-2-3 (left to right)
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I do not own any of these images
Hi guys I felt this was the message that needed be heard this week and some of it got very specific. Lmk what you think! Thanks for stopping by ily!!
Pile 1
“it consumes my mind, it consumes my soul, it wants my life, it wants complete control” (8 of cups (rx); 8 of wands (rx; The Emperor; The Hermit; king of wands; The Star) This pile might struggle with mental health issues, such as depression or anxiety. When channeling your energy pile one I had a heavy chest and a hard time breathing. You could be pushing yourself too hard and not taking a break. Or avoiding taking a break because then you’ll see how much pain you’re in. Either way I feel very heavy energies with you. I see you feel stagnant in your life, but this is because you refuse to make changes because you feel comfortable in the routine or cycle you’re in. I’m also seeing for some of you, that you went through something hard recently and you’re keeping yourself hidden due to fears of it happening again. This situation led you to forget how much power you hold and how truly beautiful you are. I think you might expect life to happen for you, even though you’re not really leaving your house. Sometimes we have to make things happen for ourselves, although I do understand not wanting to because of the fear of the unknown. The advice that the cards give you is to remember how you sparkle. I feel like your current energy is the song I channeled but the energy you need to embody is bejeweled by Taylor Swift lol. Two very different energies. Spirit is telling you to lean on them and let go of the past, because holding onto that is only going to make your journey to the top slower. I’m also not sure if this situation involved a betrayal but spirit is also letting you know that two people’s perspectives that may differ on the same situation can both be true at the same time. I also see in this advice that this is a journey you have to go on alone. I understand how daunting this may feel but I promise you have the strength and the resilience to get through this. I keep hearing “I wish you could see the way you shine”. Signs: August; the number 8; 8 mile; Eminem?; blue sapphire; stardust the movie; Aquarius; girl in red?; insomnia; overthinking; stripped socks; dark room lit up by tv; “remember who you are” - lion king
Pile 2
"Je te laisserai des mots" (2 of swords (rx); 3 of swords; The High Priestess; The Empress (rx); Justice (rx); 8 of wands (rx)) Hi Pile 2! I feel like for you guys you recently went through a breakup, possibly with your first love, or someone you thought was your forever. Maybe you guys were on and off for a while and you really believe this person will come back. I see that in terms of what’s holding you back is that you don’t believe that you can live without this person and that’s not true. I see that you would’ve given this person the world. I hear that quote where one person says “you were a wonderful experience” and then the other person says, “you, you were everything.” And I feel like you’re the one saying that the other person was everything. Perhaps you're an artist and this person was your  muse and without them you feel like you can’t make your art anymore. I genuinely feel empty channeling your energy. I see that what’s holding you back is the idea that this person was the only reason you were successful, which couldn’t be further from the truth pile 2. You are worth so much more than what you create. I also feel that you only value yourself by how much you create or do and that you punish yourself for not meeting a certain quota. But because of the loss you’re going through right now you’re not meeting quotas because you’re hurt not because you are an unproductive being. If you leave this reading with one thing I hope that it is that you are worth so much more than just what you create. As far as advice goes for you I see that you need to place trust in the mysteries of life. Most times you don’t know what life has in store for you even if you think you do. Place trust in your heart and your gut feelings. Rest when you feel you need to and create when you feel the need to. I also see that your inner monologue could be hurting you, the pessimism in your mind could be keeping you in a cycle of self hatred and unproductivity and they're working hand in hand to keep you stagnant. Try to think more positively and be gentler with yourself and you’ll see progress almost immediately. I’m also seeing that when you step back and see the bigger picture you’ll find that everything happens for a reason, and almost every ending leads to a new beginning. I believe in you pile 2 you can do it!! Signs: 222’; piano; marble; fine arts; french?; museums; pine scent; guitar; the color blue; long distance; wishing on stars; turn back time; Romeo and Juliet; “it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all” ; paintings; indie
Pile 3
“keeping me from who I need to be, distracting me from what I need to do” Pile 3 I feel like for you what’s holding you back is your inability to admit that you are wrong about something. For you I see you continuing to try to do something that isn’t working and probably hasn’t worked for you either ever or for a long time. I see that for you your destiny holds much more than what you are doing. I see that you are going down a path that is filled with obstacles and you believe that it’s because it’ll give you a better success story when these obstacles are not even obstacles there more like road blocks. I see this pile is more of a career pile. I also feel like I can hear you while reading this immediately going, “pfft this isn’t for me”. If you thought this at all then this pile is exactly for you. I don’t know if someone told you that you wouldn’t make it in the line of work you’re in but I do see that you took that and made it the fire that lit you up. For most of you though this is a job that you can make it in but it won’t fulfill you in the way you think it will because at the end of the day I believe you don’t actually enjoy this job. SO if you feel like your life is stagnant or staying in the same place it’s because this career isn’t meant for you. I feel like you also know what career is meant for you and you’re being super stubborn. I also feel like when you talk to people you’re close to about your job issues they immediately bring up your other option of what you could be doing. Like if you’re a lawyer and it’s draining you and you tell your friend and they immediately go “oh what about the art you used to make you know you were great at that!” I also feel that this irritates you lol. I feel like you know and are aware of it at the very least. The universe has been sending you signs about this for what I believe could be years. But you do what you feel is right for you. As far as advice goes for you pile three I see it’s time to heal. Perhaps the reason you're staying in this job is because you feel the need to get recognition to stick it to the person who told you you couldn’t. That’s not necessarily the healthiest behavior for ourselves. I also see that you need to start thinking of laying something solid down for the rest of your life, so maybe this job is also not letting you provide for yourself or others and on top of all of that you don’t enjoy it? I think spirit wants you to think in long term goals and does this job or cycle let you pursue those? Spirit would also like you to know that you aren’t alone. I really heavily feel that given the opportunity your friends would love to support you in any endeavor and are probably rooting for you to leave this situation. So go ahead and reach out when you’re ready to leave!! Many people love you and only want the best for you, remember that. :)  Signs: October 6th; October; June; pumpkins; hammers; carpentry; wood?; post malone; trinkets; working with hands; toxic positivity; hard helmets; hammers; beer; heinekens
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aamy2100982 · 22 days ago
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I was scraping my brain on why I liked Lee Prince as Venom
I was thinking that it's not just because, although he is a disgusting bitch, Lee is actually kind of an attractive and interesting character who was wasted by being written off shortly after his first appearance and currently only popping up occasionally in unproductive ways.
But because in fact, the symbiote is given a personality throughout his comic.
Something I hate about writers giving the symbiote to a new character is that many don't really use the symbiote as a character, but rather as an item that gives a power buff to the main character. And the symbiote is left as a shell with no feelings, perspectives or thoughts.
Everything that happens through this comic is toxic as hell... But IT IS something
I like that they give this perspective to the symbiote where they're really not in control anymore.
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And I also find this little form of the symbiote very cute.
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I think it means a lot. Because if you notice, when the symbiote was with other hosts, it used to talk to them from inside their head, often not needing this visual representation of the symbiote separated from its host, but just in text boxes.
The symbiote's small form is a way of representing how inferior it feels with Lee, and the fact that it speaks to him from outside its body represents how detached they are as host and parasite.
It is a good representation of the symbiote I think so. Because it is a big and very resonant change.
Think that after this comic (issue #1 - #6 Venom 2016) we had the "this is a love story" comic
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(issue #150, also 2016)
That is just:
Eddie: I did bad things that I didn't think I would do after a long time. All this has happened since I got back together with my partner.
Father: That sounds like shit, you should stay away from that person.
They leave the Church, Symby manipulates Eddie into thinking that it only do what Eddie wants, what "they" want, fight Scorpio, Eddie is left unconscious.*
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Symby proceeds to try to kill the father for telling Eddie to stay away from them.* (he didn't die tho)
Do you see what I see?
I'm going to assume no. Lee Price's comic is literally the opposite of this. And I find that incredible. This comic was literally after the symbiote was taken away from Lee Price, but it really hits home. Because this isn't the first time Symby has done similar things to control Eddie.
Like giving him cancer to make Eddie believe he needs the symbiote or getting really jealous when Eddie tries to meet other people. Even if it's not in a romantic way.
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I think we all collectively hate Lee Prince, but I wouldn't say his comic was bad. I wouldn't say he used to be a bad character either. It totally reimagined what the symbiote can be and I think that's great. Not every writer takes the time to explore the symbiote as a character when it's not with someone other than a Brock (Eddie and Dylan) or Flash, sometimes. So it's great what they were able to do with Lee even though it was little to no time.
I hope they do something interesting with him
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Or at least let him die in peace.
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marigold-hills · 5 months ago
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Dunes & Waters, part 19
PART 1 • PREVIOUS PART • NEXT PART
Remus watches Sirius eat.
Sirius shouldn’t be eating, but he’s a sneaky one and managed to smuggle a bag of dates into the museum when Remus wasn’t looking. He gets snacky, he said when he took them out and put them on his desk. Helps him think, having something to chew on.
Remus should not be watching Sirius eat. For his own self preservation, really. Not when the dates are sticky and Sirius licks them off his fingers. There’s a hint of teeth, a flash of tongue. Remus is pretty sure he would hate seeing anyone else do this, but on Sirius… he still hates it, but for different reasons. It’s obscene. His mouth opens and his fingers enter it and each time, Remus has a vivid, gut-pulling, earth-shattering reminder of the dream he had. Has to bite the inside of his own cheek to stop from moaning.
It’s been an unproductive day. He’s stuck on a translation of a word from the 30th sequence of the tomb-chapel of Rekhmira. There are some Muggle translations but none of them makes sense within the context of what Remus knows and what the Muggles wouldn’t: Rekhmira is a key.
Hng r.k mxA.i n.k r.k r qsw.k
Your mouth is ..., I measure your mouth for you to your bones
Sirius, despite emptying his stash of snacky brain food, is also getting nowhere with the Box.
“Let’s finish for today,” he says, “it’s almost midnight.”
“Run out of food, did you?”
“Yes,” a grin with so many pretty white teeth, “and I want to feed Ziggy. Poor thing’s been alone for hours.”
They walk through a night-quiet Aswan. It’s clear, star-lit, moon-bright.
“There’s my star,” Sirius point out, “bright, aren’t I?”
“That you are,” Remus answers, “very pretty.”
Sirius points out constellations as they walk, the main star in each. There’s Leo, and Regulus, it’s heart. There’s Cassiopeia, the Stag.
“And look, Aquila. Like on your Box. But it’s Altair, the Eagle’s eye, that’s the brightest, not…” he stops dead, arm he was using to point towards the sky suddenly limp by his side.
“Sirius?”
“It’s the Falcon.”
Remus wants to ask more but there is something so wonderful about watching Sirius put pieces together. He’s loath to disturb it and scared to move – he knows the face of breakthrough. He knows how easy a thread of new thought can be broken.
“Aquila was the falcon of Horus in Egypt, not an Eagle - that’s Greek. And the red star, Alshain, on the Box - it’s the peregrine, also the falcon.”
Sirius breaks eye contact with the sky, looks to Remus, bright and elated. “The whole Box is a multi level riddle, like your bloody crosswords.”
They turn back to the Museum.
It’s strange walking through the ward and into a sun lit room straight from a dark night outside. Confuses something in Remus’ time perception. It’s a liminal space, this office of theirs, where nothing is real but the two of them and what they work on. Remus gets lost in it. Could spend days in it. Work away the nights.
Sirius transfigures a blank sheet of paper into an enormous blackboard. Draws the Box on it – an approximation of it, three dimensional son flat canvas, all sharp edges and quick, overlapping lines.
“There are constellations here,” he points to one of the edges, draws an arrow to it, “and here.”
Aquila, he writes, the Falcon. “We know this. On the other side is Lupus, the Wolf.” More arrows, more notes. “But Lupus has no named stars… so what’s the clue here?”
Remus does no work of his own, just watches the storm in front of him and lets it sweep him along. Thinks just how bloody lucky he’s gotten that the convict he pulled out of prison has an in-depth knowledge of star systems. Cringes at it because calling Sirius this now? Unthinkable. Senseless.
He tries to imagine it. Sirius, hurting all those people. Can’t: even in the midst of an attack, Sirius didn’t hurt Remus, only himself. He’s been so gentle. With Ziggy. With Remus. It makes no sense, that somebody could be both.
More writing. Lupus underlined, and below it: Wolf. Roman: Bestia. Greek: Therium. Babylon: Mad Dog – UR.IDIM.
Then a drawing, something with a head of a man and body of a wolf.
Sirius draws back. Thinks about it. Summons a book of deities and it flies into his hands. “I’m missing something.”
Then he’s quiet for a while, sitting cross-legged on the floor. He’s a beautiful mess.
“That’s Anubis and Wepwawet on the front. They’re both dog gods, but that makes no sense…”
“Wepwawet is a wolf,” Remus interrupts.
It’s dangerous, now, with the disfigured human drawn on the board, how close Sirius is to figuring out the core of the research. Remus knows it, and he sees in Sirius’ eyes that he does, too.
“It’s time you give me another piece of information, Remus. The missing link.”
Remus knows he’s right. To have a chance at figuring this out, he has to know just why the Box stroke his interest. He was hoping to delay it. He was hoping not to do it at all. And Sirius was so good, he got so much of it already – more than Remus has, more than anyone since the Box had been found. Falcon. Bestia. Dog-Man.
“I’m studying werewolves.”
NEXT PART
NOTES:
Does this make sense? It makes sense to me but that could be because I know the big picture.
extra long chapter today to make up for missing yesterday :)
@tealeavesandtrash
@moon-girl88
@hoje--aqui
@cocoabutterandbooks
@onion-sliced-apples
@prancingpony42
@digital-kam
@remoonysiriusly
@sweetstarryskies
@a-sunset-outside-my-window
@procrastinatingstuff
(let me know if you do/don’t want to be tagged!)
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taegularities · 1 year ago
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hi, could you maybe write something for STARS BEHIND WAVES?
maybe about how they’re doing right now? (fluff, maybe suggestive?)
I really really love this story of yours:)))
Do you think you’ll write an epilogue someday?
(No pressure, i’m just really obsessed with this story)
Have a nice day/good night;)
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fic: stars behind waves
pairing: jungkook x reader warnings: kissing, suggestive, his wandering hands and crude mouth lol, this is literally one of the softest couple i have and i love them so much, mention of fear of heights, oc is scared of a river :'), jealousy <3 pure fluff and bliss and love!! wc: 3.1k lol a/n: thank you for the request!! definitely one of my fav fics 🥺 i don't think i will be able to write an epilogue :( but rest assured, they're the happiest they can be. also, i really kinda love this lil drabble, so if you do, too, lmk hehe <3 a/n 2: i just found this in my drafts from when we were playing the amc game a couple months ago lol. hope you enjoy. is also unedited, so be gentle with me lmaoo <3
“Maldives.”
“God, no,” you reject, “sounds gorgeous, but. I can't deal with the heat anymore.”
Jungkook clicks his tongue, fatigued from the unproductive day, but agrees, “Okay. Maybe you’re right. We’ve seen our fair share of…”
The last words turn into a mumble, drifting when his attention does. He scrolls on, big eyes glued to the bright screen. He’s been changing tabs for hours now; between travel destinations and booking sites, he’s exhausted himself.
Several three-digit-numbers have burned themselves into your brain from comparing a dozen vacations; planning such a thing is tedious.
You saved money for this. Working your ass off throughout the year, putting extra effort in overtime hours to visit a place you’ve only dreamed of thus far. Jungkook graduated, and you promised you’d steer towards an unforgettable summer.
His shifts at the bookstore were tiring, too. One too many times you called during lunch break just to meet a groggy voice. The late dinners at home transpired similarly quiet, his eyes similarly fatigued.
Then he’d cling onto you at night; he found your warmth solacing. Would tug you in, smack his lips. Yawn against your shoulder before slipping into dreamland, uttering a couple last mumbled “I love you”s and pouty, whiny “Don’t wanna work”s.
Summer couldn’t come faster.
But so couldn’t dinner.
“Maybe we should think about it another time,” you say. “I’m getting hungry.”
Jungkook drops the attached laptop mouse dramatically, shoving it away as he leans back on his chair and declares, “Thank fuck. I’m starving.”
“Should’ve just said something.”
Dinner is relieving to the two of you; having used up all words for today, you eat in peace, each enjoying your meal. Jungkook, reaching for his glass of water, looks up at you once, bowl half empty.
His eyes land above your clavicles, right where the charm dangles. Sparkles. The stars he promised you almost two decades ago. He can’t believe it’s barely been two years since the summer occurred when he found you again.
Time has passed; the two of you reunited with ease.
Spending days and nights together doesn’t come without fights — occasionally, you snap at each other, reminding the other of lonely times, spitting words that soon turn into regret.
But those arguments, as natural as sunlight, pass quickly and give way to comforting words, lips on scarred cheeks, hands over warm bodies.
Even when you were younger, you’d make up softly, comfortably. Would apologise and seek an unknown spot on the island, starving for a distraction. You’d find yet another shell without pearls in it; would try to make things right.
Jungkook remembers one day particularly well; surprising how well it fits this very moment.
Back then you’d hiked up a hill, dizzy in the damp summer heat. You cursed at Jungkook for dragging you along when you’d suggested an effortless, pleasant afternoon at the small market.
Halfway through your journey, you feared you’d gotten lost. You didn’t meet people anymore. The forest grew more tense. You kept your eyes and ears open for snakes or bears or whatever might linger here.
You only felt a sliver of hope when you heard water splashing nearby, hoping it was a lake or the ocean. But what you found instead filled you with far more discomfort.
Not because the river that you found on top wasn’t very narrow or harmless. Neither because it ended in a waterfall that fell for quite a while and then continued the same river, meeting the ocean somewhere.
No, you felt terrified because you knew what Jungkook would want to do.
“Let’s go back,” you immediately blurted.
But he was already on his shit, shaking his head with a twinkle in his dark eyes. You pulled at his tee, ready to turn at your heel and roll down the hill. Jungkook, however, pushed your hand away, freeing himself from your touch.
“No. Let’s cross this.”
You knew it. He was bold and idiotic enough; an adrenaline junkie the way you couldn’t be. Even cliff diving took you a good while to tackle and then longer to get used to. He taught you and kept doing so every year, because you’d enter the island with a newfound fear of heights each time.
“Uhm,” you said, raising your hands in defence, “I do not think so, dude.”
“But loo—”
“No. *No, I—”
You were so close to the edge, though probably not enough for the current to pull you in. Maybe you just hallucinated the proximity, too. Because thinking about it in hindsight, there was probably nowhere that much of a danger for you.
But you still weren’t ready to die yet.
So you ripped your eyes open further, panicking a little when he stepped into the water along with his terrible crocs. You clamoured, voice higher than ever, “What the fuck are you *doing?”
And maybe you would’ve kept your stance and ran away if he didn’t smile back at you like you were nowhere safer than with him. A reassuring grin, secure and certain.
You guess you were already hopelessly in love with him then. Not to mention that you still constantly lost yourself in the kiss you’d shared on your porch this spring. Your very *first kiss…
And you still craved more ever since. Only, Jungkook had never given you more after that.
It didn’t help when he held out a hand, remaining teasing yet sweet with a tilted, crooked smirk. His stance, firm in the water, lured you in although you definitely weren’t one to be risky like this.
But somehow, he could still convince you. Forced a frustrated sigh out of you, pulling you in like a magnetic force as you neared the river. You could see the other side not too far from you, but in your fear, the distance seemed endless.
“C’mon. We got this,” he promised, his voice drowning in the sounds of the current. “If we die, we die together.”
You rolled your eyes. “Shit, you really think you’re poetic.” You climbed over a rock, taking off your shoes, holding them in one hand as the other clutched his fingers tight from the first moment, like a reflex. “You watch too many dramas, gosh.”
He held you in a careful grip. You were smaller then, and his seventeen-year-old body, a strong result of regular gym sessions, withheld the water far better than yours. You, as opposed to him, almost dropped to your knees wading forwards.
You stepped on a somewhat sharp rock under the white waves, but he wouldn’t let you drift away. His attention remained on you. Halfway across, he said, “Here.”
He took your arm and pulled you close, slinging it around his torso, enabling a stronger grip. He was an ass and gentle friend at once — because he scared you on purpose a moment later, acting as though he was slipping.
And just when you yelped once more, watching him squint an eye at the volume, you swore at him thoroughly. You mewled words you hadn’t heard in your voice before, and he laughed, stating, “That reminds me of a school trip.”
“What,” you panted, out of breath, “goddamn school trip.”
“We went to a climbing park, and like… this girl,” he sucked in air through his mouth, tired, too; and you held your breath, “this girl from my class was literally trembling. I— I helped her over a distance until she felt secure. But…”
He groaned, struggling a bit. Or maybe he just acted like he did, you didn’t know. You were more focused than before, that was for sure.
“She was screaming just like you,” he finished.
Suddenly, you weren’t that frightened anymore.
You even forgot that you’d feared death just a moment ago. Your chest burned green.
You asked, “Right. And… and you were holding her like this, too, huh?”
“Kind of.”
“Cool. Co—”
You were out of balance. One blink passed, and you tumbled, immediately digging your nails into his shirt and his skin. His hands saved you as you placed your free fingers onto a stone automatically, one shoe sliding off your fingers.
The river carried it away from you until you couldn’t see it anymore, and you furrowed your eyebrows, mouth wide as you yelled, “No!”
“Forget it, we just need to move!”
“It wasn’t me who fucking suggested this!” you snarled, gritting your teeth.
Your knees shook. You stared ahead — just a couple feet more.
“I got you,” was all he answered, “almost there.”
And when you finally were, you were still cursing, pushing his body away. Under your breath, you murmured a dozen words, and Jungkook, wiping soaked hands at his shorts, couldn’t stop chuckling.
His hair was damp, outrageous when he pushed it back, but it couldn’t distract you this time. Instead, you threw your remaining shoe at him, watching him dodge it with an amused wide grin.
You couldn’t be bothered with his jokes; he was being irritating. There was literally nothing over here. Who knew if there was a way to get off this hill from here at all.
Knees still liquid, you targeted a tree and took a seat underneath it. You caught your breath, observing him as he sniffled and picked up your shoe. You felt empathy for his shorts; he still dragged his hands over them, leaving dark, wet stains.
Then, he dropped down next to you. Nudged your shoulder and said, “Come *on. That was fun.” A beat of a pause as you moved your head to glare at him. Then, “Don’t look at me like that!”
“*You,” you started, face close to his, a finger pointing at his chest, “were almost gonna organise a funeral.”
“Please. Nothing was gonna happen to you.”
“No. Your *own.”
He laughed again. “You’re so cute.”
“Shut up.”
You exhaled. In truth, it hadn’t been that bad. Looking at the river from here, you truly were far enough from the edge, and the water had barely reached your knees. But the thing he said…
You searched for a way to make things less awkward; to not let him know that you were seething with envy. A harmless question came to mind, subtle as you inquired, “Was I at least a little braver than that… classmate?”
He lifted his head in thought, humming.
“Hmm. No.” Your shoulders slumped. How rude. “Hard to judge, though. It took us only a few minutes here, and it took her *hours to cross the climbing park.”
You didn’t tell him that sometimes, you were supposed to take hours. Not everybody was as athletic as him. Hmph.
“You helped her all this time?” you asked.
“Half of it at least.”
You shouldn’t have been jealous. Not bothered by how casual he made it sound, how he nodded… it was all whatever. But also—
“And then?” you dug. “You drove back to school and acted like you hadn’t just bonded?”
“Uhm…” Your heart dropped. Typical first love, typical first frustrating feelings. Your young heart was a lot more feeble. “Something like that.”
But you understood.
“Oh, Jeon…”
“It was just a kiss after lunch, okay. That day, and never again.”
Ah, you hated this. So he could kiss someone else, but not you aga—
No. Stop. What dumb thoughts.
“Okay. Good for you,” you told him, back to your prior tone.
Damn it.
You stared at the abandoned shoe between the two of you.
Shit, how were you gonna go back with one of your initially two Nikes on your feet? He’d have to carry you. At least you put both your socks in the one shoe you didn’t lose…
“Don’t act that way,” Jungkook spoke through your thoughts, patting your knee, “it was a lot more fun with you. She kept saying she wanted to go home and that messed with my own experience.”
“And yet, you kissed her.”
“Yeah, well. Happens.” He rolled his eyes. His voice was still casual and soft; perhaps he didn’t notice the storm in your pupils. “But I’ve had better kisses.”
Or maybe he did notice. Maybe that’s why he was saying that.
You hoped for a certain answer, but still tried, “Oh? Have you kissed more girls since spring?”
Oops. Okay, you didn’t want to ask so explicitly. But up until spring, he had never kissed anyone. And your heart fell into your ass, shoulders relaxing when he admitted, “No. Just her.”
Your eyes were wide now. You ogled at him, and then down to your drying legs again. Suppressing a smile, you nodded; and when you stared up at him anew, he was watching you intently.
Carefully, with tenderness in his gaze.
And he was close. You were half certain he’d kiss you again because for the tiniest moment, his eyes flitted down to your lips. But to your chagrin, the day and summer ended like this — mouth untouched.
He wouldn’t do more until years later.
Instead, he said, “I guess that was the last thing we still had left, right? Think I know this island inside out by now.”
“Probably,” you said, your voice hoarse. You cleared your throat, swallowed. “Would be cool to explore more with you, though. Outside this place, I mean.”
But once again, you couldn’t foresee that it’d be your last summer together for a long time. That you wouldn’t meet the boy bringing you the stars until you had hurt and broken enough.
And he didn’t know either; of course he didn’t. Because soon he promised, “When we’re older and richer, I’ll take you to the mountains. Okay?”
You giggled, unaware of the future. Naive and thinking you’d never separate from him, that you were destined to stay together — as friends or whatever else fate wrote for you.
So you hit his chiselled chest just lightly, telling him, “You’re gonna make me fear heights again, Jeon.”
“Nah,” he rebutted, “I’ll show you the clouds,” he pointed to the sky you couldn’t see, hidden behind the branches and leaves, “from up close.”
“Hmm,” you voiced, “the stars aren’t enough, huh?”
“They shouldn’t be. Strive for more and stuff, right?”
Right…
For a couple seconds, you just looked at him. Nodding a little, smiling, probably lovesick with hearts floating in your eyes.
Eventually, you lifted up your body, getting to your feet with a hand against the tree. “Okay,” you finally agreed, “mountains then.”
The charm glimmers in the light. It flashes Jungkook a little, and he blinks, moving his gaze up to your face. You’re finishing up the remnants of your soup, bowl tilted, getting to the last drops.
But your movements are slow, and you’re quiet… and he wonders whether he stayed silent for too long, too.
He calls your name softly, meeting curious eyes. His heart immediately pounds, and he says, “I was just thinking of something.”
You smile. “Figured. I was, too.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. You first, though.”
“Hmm.” He lets the spoon drop, looking at the empty bowl, and then suggests with folded arms, “What do you think of the mountains this year?”
You raise your eyebrows. Look at him as if you understood. As if you recognised where his mind wandered to, and where the source of this idea lies.
And then, you prove that very point when you ask, “Were you remembering the waterfall incident?”
His lips form an O, expression sickeningly sweet and surprised.
“Were you, too?”
“Just a little. Since we said we don’t want any heat this year.”
He puffs out a breath; a slight, disbelieving shake of his head follows. Then, he simply says, “Sick.”
You kiss your teeth, nodding along. “You did promise back then. Mountains, I mean.”
“I did. And we can still totally go.”
“I’d love to.”
A brief silence envelopes the room. The pause is pregnant, the air lighter than before; and then he breaks the stillness.
“Hey… you gotta admit. You were jealous, weren’t you?”
His voice harbours playfulness, but his eyes hold a glimmer of curiosity. You can’t help but chuckle; thinking back to it, your pout was hilarious. Troubles used to be different back then — your younger self wouldn’t have survived opening the door to a half naked friend. Jungkook, toned chest out, right behind her.
A crazy summer indeed.
“You kissed me that year,” you say, “and then you kissed someone else. Teenage me was going *through it.”
You scrunch your nose, and when he does it in the middle of a laugh, too, you lose your cool. Might be due to the bunny teeth flashing. The sweet crinkles around his eyes.
But you lift off the chair, hurriedly rounding the table, lean over his body and sandwich his face between your palms. You don’t waste another moment — connect your lips quickly, mouth moving against his.
He lets out a tiny sound of surprise, but doesn’t reject you. Instead, his hands wander to your waist in reciprocation, dropping to your hips and then to your—
You gasp, tongues intertwining eagerly; you taste the freshly eaten dinner. Your keen hands hold onto his dark locks. He breaks the kiss only to get to his feet, pulling you close to his body. His head tilts, the kiss deeper. Fingers cradling the nape of your neck.
And then, as he sucks in some air, he whispers, “What was that?”
“Just…” You inhale. “Catching up. Doing what I should’ve done back then.”
“She says as if I don’t kiss her *all the time.” Soft peck against your lower lip. “Or as if I wasn’t just inside her this noo—”
“You’re so obscene, Koo.”
He snickers. “Alright. Now that we know what we want to do,” his breath is warm against your skin; you shiver, “we can book the vacay a bit later, too, right?”
Breathing is hard, speaking even more.
Your lips are parted, yearning for more. You’re irritated by the layers of clothing between the two of you — which is why you’re quick to agree, “Not opposed to a break.”
“Also,” he continues, his eyes locked onto yours, voice tinged with anticipation, “just so you know. Our kiss *was way better than whatever I did with Jiae.”
Another soft laugh escapes your lips; the name is insignificant for you. The intoxication of the moment matters; him and you. But you still jest, “Didn’t need to connect a name to that memory.”
His chuckle matches yours, voice barely above a whisper.
“I love you, you know?”
And that’s all he breathes for the next hour. Genuine confessions, tender praises — your name.
So often that you soon forget any other in the world — beyond continents and oceans.
liked it? then let me know!! 😁 and if you haven't yet, feel free to read the full oneshot that this drabble's a "sequel" to, as well <3
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louisisalarrie · 5 months ago
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Why do you think some larries like the idea of hl broken up in 2013 or 2016? I joined the fandom in 2017-18 and read back popular bloggers at that moment and everyone was convinced that they have been together, and some even were sure that Harry was very supportive in 2016 and did his best for Louis. Last few years I see more and more bloggers thinking differently. Have you ever changed your mind about hl and break ups?
hellooooo anon! welcome to the show x
a lot of the bigger blogs somewhat gave up hope, and started to fall off tumblr anyway because it wasn’t the platform it once was. The dynamic of this fandom is so different now, and visibly shifted after the band went on hiatus. The closeting got more and more aggressive over time, obviously, and then once the band split it was hard to keep on larrying because we weren’t getting content of them. And that’s the main thing I think has subconsciously or consciously swayed folks from believing they’re still together. It was mainly the hiatus.
Now, the hiatus was important in terms of contracts and stunts and we had so much hope that because they were no longer “one direction”, we’d see a large shift in stunts and the boys hanging out together, and perhaps a bit of optimism for a CO. we tried to make the best out of a very sad situation lol, but it made sense. They could be more free since they were both solo and with different teams.
However, we just didnt get what we hoped for. We didn’t see them reconnecting and we didn’t get to see them both being in the same place staring at each other with the same love in their eyes that they had in 2011, because they weren’t required to be. No band, meant no obligations together. So without the constant proof and subtle looks and brushes of their arms and giddiness, it was hard to keep up supporting them. It felt somewhat pointless because we didn’t see an end to it. It was just hoping they were seen together or we’d get SOMETHING, and we got and are still getting little tidbits, but it’s not the same amount of proof as before so people kind of fell off the wagon.
To be honest, I took a step back after 2017 because Tumblr wasn’t pumping as much as it used to, and my life got in the way. Unless something major happened, I was pretty MIA, unfortunately. But I’ve been back fully for a couple years now, which I’m happy about. But it’s easy to shift ideas when you aren’t getting photo and video evidence of them being loved up, ya know? The stunts didn’t stop after 1d. BBG didn’t end. We all bet so much on at least a couple of stunts dropping when they went on hiatus but it just didn’t happen. We were, and still are, caught in this closeting game of PR moves and bullshit tweets and gift baskets for a kid that isn’t Louis’. ANYWAY
Those are the reasons behind a lot of doubt that larry are still together. So, what do I think?
Well, I think that theorising about their breakups is just entirely unproductive for the cause that we’re fighting for. It feels almost… fanfic-esque, and like, I still see people calling themselves casual larries and believe they were together at one point and that’s why they still fight for their freedom, because of what they went through as kids and even their closeting now, but I just… don’t think it should be a theory that people try and convince others of. That’s not what larries are about. If you think they’ve broken up, cool, don’t come on here and try to prove to everyone why, because that’s just… silly. It’s almost an anti move, which a lot of old larries have shifted to, mind you, because of these theories of break ups and very little proof with a whole lot of reaching (sometimes) on our end at the moment.
It’s an argument a lot of people use, like theorising that they’re in an ethical non monogamous relationship, or aren’t together anymore but fuck casually, or genuinely hate each other, or they aren’t together anymore and they’re dating other people (some examples being stunts, some being completely wild theories), and yeah, it comes down to song lyrics and lack of proof otherwise that they’re still together.
A lot of L and H’s songs do have connotations of breakups, or getting back together, or being separated etc., and I see a lot of Larries say “oh well they must have broken up at some point like any relationship, they’re not perfect, but they’re together now” etc., which is great, fine, and normal because being with someone for like 13 years in those jobs is hard work. But I truly think it’s unproductive to theorise on shit like that, as Larries. It gives antis ammo, and I think it comes out of boredom. Because let’s be honest, us and many solos (except the niall solos rn they living it UP), aren’t getting a whole lot right now, larry or otherwise. Harry’s basically MIA, we saw louis and Harry both at the euros in the same photo, louis is doing a few more festivals before a break (god that’s gonna hurt), and so… idk. We’re all itching for something. We used to get new content every day back in the day, but we just aren’t getting it. Which is fine, I don’t expect that these days, but damn, throw us a bone lol.
Some folks like to believe that larry themselves are choosing to keep their relationship private for now, because they want to. That’s fine. Others believe they are still being heavily closeted. That’s fine. What we’re fighting for is the love between two dudes, regardless of whether they have broken up somewhere in between, because we want justice for them and a change in the industry.
Anyway, my belief is that they’re together now, and that’s all that matters. We could go into deep theories and shit about body language changes and attitudes and fighting in 2015/2016 or whatever, but I just don’t think it’s productive, or that simple.
Listen, if I was in that situation, like… it’d be fucking hard to give up after how hard you fought for this person, that love just doesn’t go away. Being that age as well, it’s deep in your soul when you feel it. So I really do think that it isn’t as simple as that. I think it probably got messy at times, frustrating sure, but I’m not going to theorise on that.
And that’s not me being ignorant about relationships and how they can fluctuate and fights happen and breaks happen and I’m sure those two went through hell, but I just don’t see them giving up on each other that easily.
Anyway, hope this gives you a little insight into my brain and what I think about this. You can check out skepticalarrie’s ‘they never broke up’ tag if you like, and I’ll have this in my pinned post for reference to what I think about breakup rumours etc as #still together still going strong.
Let me know if any other q’s or if this ramble needs some clarifying hehe. Thank you! <3
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