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Eventually, the scrapbook ended. The sun had fallen beneath the horizon hours ago, and some nagging part of Stan's brain was telling him kids shouldn't be up this late. Unless they're breaking into a mini golf course. He jerked his head back, furrowing his brow. That was...oddly specific.
"Grunkle Stan?" a little voice - Mabel - questioned. He looked down at his knee to see where his great-niece was sitting, eyeing him with no small degree of concern. "Are you okay?"
He ruffled her hair. "'Course, Pumpkin. Just trying to shake some of those memories back in the right place, huh?" He gave an exaggerated shake of his head, smacking the side like he was trying to get water out his ears. "Got a straggler! Hup! There we go," he grinned, lowering his hand. "Good as new!"
Whatever he said must have been the right thing, because Mabel's eyes had lit up like he'd told her he was turning the Mystery Shack into a cotton candy emporium and Dipper had a sudden death grip on his other leg.
"Geez kid, you're clawing through my pants here," he grumbled, making no move to take away his nephew's hand. "Haven't you chewed your nails off by now? How're they so sharp?"
"You called me Pumpkin," Mabel whispered.
"You remembered I chew my nails," Dipper said in awe. Then he frowned. "Hey, how come Mabel gets a nice one and I get a gross one."
Stan shrugged. "'Cause she's nice, and you're gross."
"Ha! Zoom!" Mabel pumped a fist in the air before collapsing back into Stan's lap in a fit of giggles. Dipper rolled his eyes, but he was smiling as he settled back against Stan's other side. Ford stayed perched on the arm of the chair, smiling fondly, but eyebrows still drawn together.
"What's the matter, Sixer?" Stan frowned as Ford grimaced at the nickname. "What?"
Ford waved off Stan's concern. "It's nothing. It's..." Ford sighed. "I'm sorry. It's not nothing. I just don't want to..." He pursed his lips.
"Don't leave us hanging." There was a shake in Stan's voice, and Mabel shifted closer to her Grunkle.
"I'm glad this has been helpful to you," Ford muttered. "But...you don't remember everything. Not really."
"Whaddya mean?" Stan asked. "I remember you, the kids, Soos. The freeloading jerk who steals my sandwiches." Stan glared at Waddles who simply oinked and started trying to eat his shoelace. Whatever. Free pass for jump starting his memories. He better not get used to it.
Dipper sat up. "Yeah, what do you mean, Great Uncle Ford?"
Ford frowned. "I just... Hm." He seemed to be weighing something in his mind before turning to Stan with some resolve.
"Stanley," he began slowly. "I hope you appreciate what I'm about to do for you."
"That's not terrifyingly ominous," Stan muttered, glancing around at the available exits.
"Do you remember my - " Ford cleared his throat. "My first kiss?"
Stan froze. "What?"
"My first kiss, do you remember it?"
"I was there?"
"Yes. Unfortunately a lot of people were."
Mabel squealed beside Stan. "Ooo! Romance memories! How old were you? Was it high school? Was it a high school romance? Was it star-crossed love between the nerd and the cheerleader?"
"Mabel, I think Grunkle Stan is supposed to figure that stuff out."
Mabel sat up and stared at Stan expectantly. "Come on Grunkle Stan! I need details!"
Stan shook his head, nose wrinkling like he'd smelled something rotting. "How should I know? Who asks their brother that sort of thing?"
"Precisely." Ford spoke with the same air of professionalism he adopted when explaining his theories, despite the alarming shade of red his face was becoming. "So far it seems that your memories are returning based on external stimuli, whether that be Mabel's scrapbook or our own prompting."
"So, wait, you're saying I won't get all my memories back?"
"No! No that's not what I'm saying," Ford held up his hands. "What I'm saying is we can't expect them all to come back at once. And at the risk of turning the Shack into the set of the Johnny Carson show, we'll keep asking you questions."
Stan frowned. "What if I don't wanna remember my brother smooching some babe?"
Ford turned redder. "You do."
"I do? Geez, I was a perv."
"In the meantime," Ford pressed. "It's important to take note of any stimulus you experience that makes you remember something. Even if it doesn't paint the whole picture for you, we can fill in the blanks. Or prompt you to remember more details."
Dipper grinned. "And then we get to learn more about the secrets you've been hiding, old man."
Stan lifted his hand to give Dipper a well-earned noogie, but paused before he could make contact. "Old man...did you...did you tell me to shut up one time and then punched me?"
Dipper balked. "What? No I - "
"YEAH no WAY that'd be CRAZY!" Mabel interjected a bit too loudly. "Anyway let's get back to that kissing story, huh?"
"Actually Mabel, I don't know if I want to hear about Great Uncle Ford kissing anybody either."
"Oh come on, Dipper. Are you jealous that The Author got someone to kiss him and you didn't?"
"What? No!"
"Some girls like nerds."
"Mabel I don't want to think about anybody in this room kissing anybody."
"You could learn from him Dipper! Figure out how to wield your nerdish charms. Soon you'll be like a kissing machine!"
"MABEL -"
The twins were silenced by a sudden gasp from Stan. His eyes were wide and unfocused, his jaw hanging open as if someone had knocked the wind out of him.
"Holy - " he choked out softly.
"Grunkle Stan?" Dipper sat up fully. "Are you okay?"
Stan didn't acknowledge him, eyes darting around minutely.
"Grunkle Stan?" Mabel asked softly. "Did you remember something?" Moisture had begun to gather in the corners of Stan's eyes, one of his hands covering his mouth as he began to shake.
"Great Uncle Ford?" Dipper turned to Ford, worry stitching his brows together. But Ford didn't look worried. If anything, he looked like he wanted to disappear through the floor. His face was an alarming shade of red, nearly identical to his sweater. Stan let out another choked sound.
"Are you..." Mabel trailed off. "Grunkle Stan are you laughing?" He was quaking now, his hand falling from his mouth to reveal a wide, open-mouthed smile. He began slapping the arm rest with his free hand, eyes squeezed shut and tears rolling down his cheeks. Dipper and Mabel shared a look. Sure, they'd seen Stan laugh before, but it was usually a loud guffawing thing. They'd never seen him like this. They shared a tentative smile. Either this was the hardest they'd seen him laugh, or he had really snapped.
Ford seemed to pick up on their worry. "He's fine," Ford offered. "He's just...remembering my first kiss." At Ford's words, Stan let out a loud cackle, burying his face in his hands.
Mabel cocked her head. "But what's so funny about -"
"You children must be exhausted," Ford blurted out, standing abruptly. "Come now, go wash up then head to bed!"
"Oh no you don't!" Stan shouted. He wiped tears from his eyes, still smiling. "You're not getting out of this one, pal!"
"Stanley, this conversation is hardly appropriate for children -"
"You brought it up!"
"And now I'm putting a stop to it."
Stan grabbed his head. "Ooooo ow," he gave an exaggerated groan. "My poor head. The mean man won't let me share my memories so they're all going away!"
"Stanley, please don't joke about that."
"I'm fading away - "
"Stanley."
Stan crossed his arms. "You know, you really know how to take the fun out of amnesia."
"Yeah! Come on Grunkle Ford," Mabel pouted. "You can't just leave us hanging!"
"Yeah!" Dipper joined in. "If it's a funny story I want to hear it."
Ford spluttered, pulling at the sleeves of his sweater and looking around for an exit.
"Come on, Sixer," Stan chimed in. His eyes had gone soft around the edges. "I think the kids deserve a funny story."
After today went unspoken. Ford met Stanley's gaze, already feeling his resolve melting before he even turned to his grand-niece and nephew's inquisitive smiles.
"Alright," Ford conceded. "But to maintain the integrity of the exercise, Stanley will be the one to tell it. Whatever he doesn't remember, I can fill in."
Stan rubbed his hands together. "Oh boy, this'll be good."
"I regret this already."
"It's alright Great Uncle Ford," Dipper patted his shoulder. "We have a whole summer's worth of stuff we get to make fun of Grunkle Stan for. This just gives us stuff to use against you now. Levels the playing field."
Ford frowned. "Is that meant to be comforting?"
Dipper shrugged.
"Alright you two, enough yapping." Stan grinned, leaning forward in his seat and spreading his hands out in front of him. It was the same way he started his campfire tales. Mabel and Dipper met each other's eyes and smiled.
"Once upon a time, there was a beautiful girl named Kiss-Bot..."
#gravity falls#if you dont know about kiss bot#its from the dvd commentary#go look it up#absolute menace#this got really off track#it was supposed to be like a fic of all different memories stan got back#but then the spirit of kiss bot possessed me#anyway this may become a series now whoops#stanuary#sort of fits the mindscape theme#sorry its so LATE#stanley pines#stanford pines#dipper pines#mabel pines#grunkle stan#grunkle ford#great uncle ford#i never know how to tag him#schedule the following#i probably didn't proofread this well lmk if you see any#glaring errors#gravity falls fic
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Costume for a friend's masquerade :D
#loosely inspired by the Sinosauropteryx. but mostly based around Looking Cool and also Fitting On My Face#artists on tumblr#mask#maskmaker#costume#art#paper mache#anthro#dinosaur#i dare not go into any other paleo tags for fear of ppl who actually know things about dinosaurs attacking me with hammers#and chisels. and those little brushes they use for their excavations#the masquerade theme was vampires vs dinosaurs — it was fun getting a prompt to force me outside my usual Meaty And Horrible comfort zone#that being said long time no meaty horrors. gotta remedy that soon
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future vision
#xenoblade#shulk#alvis#shulk xenoblade#alvis xenoblade#bit of an older piece (its almost 2 years old i think) but i still love it a lot ^_^#i rlly wanna post some of my xenoblade stuff on here ^_^ these games mean a lot to me#if u couldn't tell by my blog's theme#also man its been a while since I've made any new xb pieces... i kinda miss it#ontos.art#<- giggling a little using my art tag on this piece
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NO MORE ASSOCIATING THINGS WITH FEMMES ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE PINK!HYPERFEM FEMMES ARE GREAT AND I LOVE YOU CAMPY FEMMES WHO EMBODY PINK BUT ALSO JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU GUYS NOT GO MORE THAN ONE DAY W/O TRYING TO SHOEHORN FEMMES INTO BEING ONLY PINK UWU BABIES. I AM FEMME AS IN GRASS AS IN DIRT AS IN TREE BARK AS IN WEEDS SPROUTING THROUGH THE SIDEWALK CEMENT. FEMME AS IN GENDER NONCONFORMITY AS IN FUCK YOU MY FEMININITY IS WHAT *I* SAY IT IS. FEMME AS IN DEPTH AND DARKNESS AND WARMTH AND TERROR. FEMME AS IN CAVES. FEMME AS IN LIGHTNING. FEMME AS IN AN AMALGAMATION OF TRAITS THAT I HAVE DECIDED ARE FEMININE REGARDLESS OF WHAT SOCIETY SAYS. FUCK IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!???
#personal#i am emotional yes#over the years ive had this blog I've made a few posts abt being femme#nd whether they're serious or jokey..... inevitably someone in the tags goes “ohhh yeah bc pink”#or in the case of what inspired this post: someone going “what about the pink ones” on my praying mantis post#and im just.#sick of it. im sick of femme being equated to pink and frilly girlie behaviors.#im sick of femme being equated to skirts and heels. to makeup. to skincare. to pristine nails exactly almond shaped.#im sick of ppl acting like All femmes aspire to this shit. im sick of femms being reduced to this shit.#and i love pink! i love pink! my phone theme is quite literally just black and pink all over.#im just. so tired of any expression of Femme identity being shoehorned into being a Specific type of femininity#especially as someone who DOES get dysphoric wearing skirts. wearing dresses. embodying the femme aesthetic yall are so set on making#if u guys wanna rb this i truly dont care#i just needed to scream#and this is one small thing#but the 2nd largest category of anon hate i have gotten since making this blog is str8 up homophobia from other “queer” folks#saying i cant be femme bc of how i present. calling me slurs (and using them as such) bc they cant understand femme as anything but that#my wife and i have our users in our personal discord server set as 2 different things of anon hate ive gotten#i have had OTHER FEMMES tell me i am not femme. femmes who Know im femme who still call me butch. femmes who ive corrected and been blocked#-by bc of it. the number 1 largest demographic of queerfolk who have me blocked rn is TME femmes who embody pink also#and i dont think its a coincidence at all. (and i know this bc i go to try and follow these ppl bc they get rbed on my dash & i cant)#and ik their blogs arent deleted bc some of them don't block my wife (tall. white. butch) and it cant be politics cause her and i rb#a lot of the same political shit (fuck. i think she rbs More than i do even. this is genuinely mainly a nsft blog)#and usually i don't say anything but im having a bad day so i get to be angry about this and if anyone fucking tries me i will block u#idc if we've been mutuals 4ever. im judt so tired of feeling like i am not Enough as a femme bc i dont embody this shit#im sick of this lameass lip service to he/him gnc femmes etc when the thin white 50s housewife femme is still what is preferred and loved#im sick of this lamesss lip service when y'all feel entitled to theorizing on other femmes genders bc u cant conceptualize a femme who does#wanna be hypetfeminine. im sick of it. im sick of it. im sick of it.#celebrity bun
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am i my brother’s keeper?
#idk if this makes sense but#yeag#originally was gonna have the solvers projectors reflecting on her screen but couldn’t get it to look good so cyn shadow it is#murder drones#tw blood#cw blood#it’s oil but#better safe than sorry#christianity tw#religious themes tw#pastels art tag#serial designation v#murder drones v#md v#cyn#md cyn#murder drones cyn#n and j are there too but I won’t tag them#note that I’m not. Christian or catholic or any of that#was just inspired by the croaker verse of all things#murder drones fanart
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Gothic fiction is characterized by an environment of fear, the threat of supernatural events, and the intrusion of the past upon the present. . . . From the castles, dungeons, forests, and hidden passages of the Gothic novel genre emerged female Gothic. . . . Female Gothic narratives focus on such topics as a persecuted heroine fleeing from a villainous father and searching for an absent mother.
When the female Gothic coincides with the explained supernatural the natural cause of terror is not the supernatural, but female disability and societal horrors: rape, incest, and the threatening control of a male antagonist. Female Gothic novels also address women's discontent with patriarchal society, their difficult and unsatisfying maternal position, and their role within that society. Women's fears of entrapment in the domestic, their bodies, marriage, childbirth, or domestic abuse commonly appear in the genre.
After the characteristic Gothic Bildungsroman-like plot sequence, female Gothic allowed readers to grow from "adolescence to maturity" in the face of the realized impossibilities of the supernatural. As protagonists such as Adeline in The Romance of the Forest learn that their superstitious fantasies and terrors are replaced by natural cause and reasonable doubt, the reader may grasp the heroine's true position: "The heroine possesses the romantic temperament that perceives strangeness where others see none. Her sensibility, therefore, prevents her from knowing that her true plight is her condition, the disability of being female."
🌹 𝔐𝔬𝔯𝔤𝔞𝔫𝔞 & 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔉𝔢𝔪𝔞𝔩𝔢 𝔊𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔠🥀
#lady morgana#merlinedit#merlingifs#merlin gifs#morganaedit#perioddramaedit#merlinladies#katie mcgrath#katiemcgrathedit#twistedshipper#//another remake of an older edit#bbc merlin#morgana pendragon#morgana le fay#bbc morgana#//while i would never say that merlin as a show is gothic#i think that it's portrayal of morgana in s2 regarding the onset of her magical abilities fits the themes of gothic novels#here she is trapped as uther's ward who turns out to be her father#he is the threat and yet at the same time she is led to believe that she is being saved - kept if you will - for him until it becomes clear#that she is his own#i mean isn't it odd that she never has any suitors#led to think that she will marry his own son so she can be kept close by under his watch#//surest way to be blocked by the entire fandom: the tags of this post 💀
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Tag game: tag nine people you’d like to know better.
Tagged by: @oneshoulderangel (Thank you for tagging me!)
Last song: At the moment, I have "Losing Your Memory" by Alan Star stuck in my head, which I suppose makes it my current song, not my last song. Hm. I get songs stuck in my head very easily, but the last one I had there for a significant amount of time was a mashup of different language versions of "Les Rois du Monde" for about a week. "Lehetsz Király", the Magyar version, is probably my favorite of them. It's worth a listen.
Currently watching: Normally, the answer would be "random mostly terrible old movies/shows" or "nothing much", but I currently have a hyperfixation on the musical Roméo et Juliette and have been watching it in multiple languages. (Thus, the song).
Three ships: This is hard. Maybe as a result of being on the ace and aro spectrums, I'm more likely to care about which characters are interacting than whether it's romantic or platonic. Here goes:
Kedivere/Bedikay. It can be romantic, platonic, or queerplatonic, but whichever way, I'm here for it. I probably spend too much time thinking about how in Cullwch and Olwen, when Cai gets mad at Arthur and marches out, Bedwyr stays behind, keeps acting like nothing's happened, and isn't the one to avenge Cai's death. The feeling of betrayal on both sides has a lot of unexplored potential. And the version where Bedivere dies and Kay fights to bring his body back safely while mortally wounded himself... And the version where Bedivere survives Camlann and Kay isn't said to fight in it, so they might be left together after their world has fallen apart...
Platonically or queerplatonically, Galahad and the Grail Heroine. I really like the tragic Grail Quest friendships, but I like theirs most, maybe because there's something weird and otherworldly about them both. I like it when characters are strange and endearing and doomed by the narrative.
Ever since reading John Matthews' retelling, which I read before the original, I've had a soft spot for Caradoc and Guinier. The Story of Caradoc is very disturbing, and I have some major qualms with Caradoc over a detail Matthews cut out, but all the same, there's a reason these two have the best track record with magical fidelity tests. Each of them would go to the ends of the earth for the other, and together, they're stronger than any curse.
Favorite Color: Blue, particularly royal blue and some teals.
Currently consuming: Black licorice with chocolate.
First ship: This is a hard one, since through elementary and most of middle school, I tended to go along with whatever I thought the author's intentions were and was more likely to unship something. The first non-endgame ship I got invested in was Sonya/Nikolai in War and Peace. I didn't like Nikolai, but Sonya did, and she was my favorite character, so I wanted her to be happy. The first non-canon couple I thought was meant to be together was also in War and Peace: Marya Bolkonskaya and Julie Karagina. My eighth grade self did not think their letters could be interpreted platonically. I still don't.
Last movie: If the musical doesn't count, the last movie I watched was Quest for Camelot, which was awful. Though not Robot Monster-level bad, Robot Monster has an elegance to its simplicity which Quest for Camelot lacks.
Currently working on: Various fics, most of them Arthuriana or CotRK-related (I am woefully behind on the Badfic Bingo), and (theoretically) an epic-style poem, though I haven't gotten much of it written for quite a while now.
Tagging: @gawrkin, @emperorcandy, @wildbasil, @gorewound, @knightsofsomethingorother, @ladyminaofcamelot, @tasosotaso, @amashelle, @gingersnaptaff (I have no idea who's been tagged so far, apart from the people on @oneshoulderangel's post, so I apologize for any multi-tags)
#tagging game#I might have rushed this but I was worried I was going to spend a long time overthinking it if I didn't#I have one ask for a theme song for Kay from the Spring which I still haven't answered#despite having a whole playlist for him#because I'm not sure any of the songs are good enough and after all this time the stakes seem higher#It was an anon too so the chances are the person will never see it at this point#I'm counting this getting posted as a rare win for non-perfectionism
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Thinking about Fallen London as a backdrop for the theme of the horror of the inevitable today. I know it's The Classic Cosmic Horror Thing, but it's really woven through all aspects of Neathy life even as the PC is written powerful and capable: the constant backdrop of breath-holding for the Sixth City, the Masters and the Bazaar as a force higher on the Chain with a plan that cares not who it tramples, a ton of the Destinies aside from the LotN ones, literally anything to do with the Dawn Machine, the Flukes...the thing that changes you irrevocably could be around any corner, could drop at any second. Everything else, every other story told, is either dealing with that or written in its shadow. Sometimes the game lets you deal with it by fighting back, with the message that even though you can't hold a candle to all of it, you can change some of it and that's enough reason to try. Sometimes, the game lets you deal with it by getting drunk off your ass with a dozen rats and stealing a painting or something of the sort. Both are honestly such valid ways of dealing with The Cosmic Horror Of It All, as is just rolling out of bed every day and complaining about the weather, and the spread of each that the game's writing has is I think what's made it stick so hard as one of my favourite pieces of horror media despite only about 20% of it reading like horror.
#fallen london#keeping my oc rambling to the tags#part of why i like this theme so much is that when pushed farther it chafes so much with who Hallowrove is#the number 1 way they deal with something unpleasant is through constant acting and momentum#and when it's something too big for them to do that about the number 1 way becomes ignoring and avoidance#but they *can't do that* when the horror is reaching out to touch them and their friends#it forces them to cope by beating their fists against something so massive and inevitable#they can't even contemplate fully what they're doing without the dread setting in#or else freeze in the face of it#i think they've changed though,I've realized today,from being exposed to it#they almost expect the horror now#they're not doing any *less* about it but it's easier for them to accept that it's there in the periphery#and they can look at it almost sidelong now#instead of either ignoring it completely or fixating on it#was rereading some older stuff for them today and it's interesting#seeing how the ways they react are super in character still but i can see the change from now to then#I like horror. i think it tells a lot about a character in a short period of time how they react to that#anyways. uhh don't ask about why I'm thinking about the horror of the uncontrollable rn i am normal and fine i prommy
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original thief series basso & garrett :)
ngl, it's about quality over quantity for me. an npc can have a total of three minutes of screen time, but if they have a cool name, they can live rent free in my head and I'll spend several hours trying to decipher drawable features from a blurry screenshot of pixels
there is a vague hint of a story here, and that's because every time I try to play thi4f, I get incredibly frustrated with how Not Fun the game play is. like, is the story good? well. but it has a PLAGUE. that should've given it instant 'I'll replay this once a year' status in my heart, but the game play sucks so bad that I've never finished it. I can't believe Not Fun gameplay beat out my obsession with narrative plagues.
anyway, the idea is basically if the original era had a game with a plague centric narrative and some other stuff I liked out of thi4f thrown into a narrative blender, with a heavy dash of horror thrown in because some parts of the thief games were scarier to me than entire dedicated horror genre games.
⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app
#if i had a laptop and the skillset i would attempt a story mod because the thief modders who create whole mission stories#are GENIUS and also somewhat terrifying. love them! xoxox#anyway im actually kind of obsessed with parts of thi4f but its also like. not at that sweet spot of almost good enough to be fun#to talk about. which. for the record. has not stopped me from talking about it at length to people#the city itself actually fucking fascinates me. its almost alive and im SO mad that not a single part of that game is actually terrifying#it should be gnarlier and instead it feels a bit like it doesn't quite want to be trapped in the story it has to tell?#but between the level that has the bodies on the meathooks#and the scene with the bodies hanging from the rafters or whatever that was and garrett living in a clock tower#because the game is very much ALMOST about changing times and authoritarian violence and capitalism#(like. by virtue of how the story sort of spins out i think it misses it's mark on a lot of stuff here#in the sense that i dont feel like it actually wants to tell that story. it wants to. go in a different direction. or at least walk on top#of those themes instead of through it)#ANYWAY between all of those things. it does kind of live in my head rent free. they did create a compelling setting#SHAME THEY DIDNT WANT TO ACTUALLY EAT ANY OF IT#unrelated but i would've given thi4f a 10/10 if they kept garrett's fucking nail polish from the concept art. cowards. unforgivable#thief the dark project#i still have no idea how to tag the game series as a whole RIP#sorry for the dedicated dark project fans. if you know what the general series tag is. please let me know#garrett thief#basso thief
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I'm so glad i watched Sk8 the Infinity as an adult and not a teen so I didn't turn into one of those annoying idiots who complain about "renga not being canon because they didn't kiss"
#like shut the fuck up they promised to skate infinitely with each other#under a full moon#look up mise en scene and shut the entire fuck up#as i've grown older i've come to enjoy subtle romance much more than on screen kissing#cuz whenever a couple kisses i'm like woah hey that's a bit graphic innit why don't we tone it down#maybe talk about how beautiful the moon is while not looking at the moon at all idk#i don't need you snogging on screen to know you're in love#that's usually a cheap way to show that anyway#because it's usually straight couples and no one in the industry knows how to show that straight couples like each other#outside of actions that are explicitly associated with romance like kissing sex and love confessions#so give me chemistry over kissing any day#seb watches sk8#do i put this in the main tag?#ehhhhhhhhh#yeah sure why not#sk8 the infinity#renga#they might not even show up because of the wall of ramble tags i've put before them#oh well#also this is not to dunk on my teen mutuals i love y'all#(even though some of you could maybe entertain the idea of private conversations a little more thoroughly)#but i just remember how blind i was to subtext and themes and that sorta stuff as a teen myself
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Ive did say this in the tags of myve vent post but you know what, Nyaw~? Ive wanna make a post specifically about it, Nyaw!
We 🌈🍓s shoudl all start posting content in fandom/character/shipping tags more often! Even if it's headcanons, edits, or just anything~!
Ive get making our own tags for stuff yeah, but that doesn't mean we can't use the original tags too, Nyaw~! 🌈🍓s should be allowed to post in any tag they want, so long as it's related to that fandom, character, or ship, and who are anti's to stop us, Nyaw~?
Ive don't know, maybe Ive'm just having a bimbo moment again, but even when it comes to edits and headcanons, I don't see people tag the fandoms or characters, in fact I hardly see radqueers making fandom content at all~! Fictive alterpacks could also technically go in Fandom tags, cause it could be considered fan-content made with the intent of creating new alters/headmates, Nyaw~!
What do you guys think, Nyaw~? Do you think we could start a little revolution, it's not like we don't already get harassed and termed, and what's the point of lessening that when it means hiding ourselves from our own communities, Nyaw~? (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧
How does that saying go again, Nyaw~? "They can't stop all of us!", Nyaw~!
#This is all /nf btw#you don't have to post in any fandom/character tags if it really makes you that anxious#Ive'm just saying maybe some of us would feel better doing it if we didn't feel so out numbered in fandom spaces!#The fancontent doesn't even have to be radqueer themed either! It can just be any fancontent!#speaking of which are there actually any proship radqueer tags/terms#or did we make one for radqueer selfshippers (Strawberryshipping) but not proship radqueers?#. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ 𝒟𝑒𝒶𝓇 𝒟𝒾𝒶𝓇𝓎... ࿐ྂ#. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ 𝐼 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝒾𝓉 𝐼 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝒾𝓉 𝐼 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝒾𝓉! ࿐ྂ#. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ 𝒟𝑜 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓂𝒾𝓃𝒹? ࿐ྂ#pro radqueer#radqueer#radqueer community#rqc#radq interact#rq interact#rq please interact#radqueers please interact#radq#pro radq#radq safe#radqueer please interact#radqueer safe#rq safe#pro rq 🌈🍓#rq 🌈🍓#rqc🌈🍓#rq community#pro rqc#ask to tag.
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“What did you do?” Adam asked.
Cain—his first born, the first ever born—looked at him with eyes wide and terrified. Adam’s eyes, Eve would say, the same brown of rich, rain-watered soil.
“I don’t know,” Cain said. “I don’t- Dad, I don’t know. Why won’t he wake up?”
Cain’s lip trembled, hands clasped tightly together, tears welling and falling in great fat drops. He was still so young, younger than Adam had ever been. His knees were knobbly and his wrists thin and he barely came up to Adam’s chin. Big enough to work, to till the fields and pull the weeds and harvest the crops, but small enough to curl tight in his mother’s arms when lightning cracked the sky.
On the ground was Abel, even younger yet. He tended the flocks and kept watch for anything that might want to harm them. He was good with them—gentler than Adam understood, though Eve told him to let him be. Even now several sheep creeped closer, braying nervously at the sharp scent of iron.
Abel was still shorter than Eve. He had a gap in the far back of his mouth where the last of his molars had popped out only a handful of days before. He had freckles that showed up in the summer sun, as if he had grown them there, all over his face and shoulders and arms.
“Dad, what do I do? What can I-?”
Abel’s eyes were open, looking to the sky that they so resembled, but they didn’t see anything. Somehow, Adam knew. Abel wouldn’t see anything ever again.
Adam hadn’t known that they could die. Humans, that was. Adam hadn’t known that Humans could die. How could he?
He’d suspected, of course. He bled when he was cut just like the animals he’d learned to butcher for their fat and meat and skin. He grew weak when they had little food to come by, they all had fallen ill a time or two, he’d watched as Eve lost what would have, otherwise, turned into a child. It wasn’t a shocking conclusion to reach, but he’d never known for certain. Not like he did now.
Adam fell to his knees, hands helplessly cradling Abel’s face. His son, his body, his baby-
There was so much blood, comign from the cracked-open place in Abel’s brown hair. It dyed his curls slick black, spilling down his neck. The soil was covered in it. This place would be stained for days—weeks, maybe even months—just as the place they slaughtered the livestock was marked as a place of death.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what to do. I’m sorry.” Cain was sobbing, hiccuping over his words and gasping for breath.
Adam’s vision was blurring as his own tears came. Abel’s face felt rubbery and wrong underneath his hands. Lifeless.
This was wrong. This shouldn’t have happened. This should never happen. Abel was so young, had so much more to live. He would keep growing—maybe until he was taller than not only his mother but Adam too—and he would continue to tend the flocks like personally tending to the lambs that fell ill with sudden weakness and some day he would have his own children because that’s how it worked, how God had told them it worked and He never lied.
“D-Dad, say something, please. Daddy, say something!”
Cain was his son, too. The first Human ever born when Adam and Eve still struggled to provide even the most basic needs for themselves. He was a good boy—always so helpful, always so smart. He knew when food ran low, when the well pulled up dry, when the hearth burnt out, that it wasn’t easily fixed and so he didn’t complain and tried his hardest to make it better, somehow. He was a good son.
So why had he done this?
“What happened?” Adam asked, still looking at those glassy blue eyes.
“I-” Cain stuttered, like he didn’t expect to be asked. “We went to bring out sacrifices to God. I brought what extra I had grown and Abel slaughtered a goat—the little one, with the limp. God accepted the goat but He…He said I was to do better.”
God was like that sometimes, Adam knew. He didn’t know why, maybe He just liked meat better than grains and fruit.
Each time they had to butcher even a chicken Abel got—had gotten—upset. When they slaughtered the goats and sheep and cattle he always cried, but they needed to eat and God needed to be praised and worshiped.
“He- He always says that, but I give Him everything. I’ve always set aside the sweetest fruit, the finest wheat, the very best of the lot. I make sure to give Him everything Mom thinks we can spare—sometimes even more because I don’t want to disappoint Him.”
Cain sounded desperate. Like he needed Adam to understand.
“What happened?” Adam repeated. His voice thundered, and he saw Cain’s feet stumble back. Some part of Adam was distraught at having incited such a fearful reaction, but some other part nearly reveled in it.
“I was just so angry,” Cain said, sounding miserable and defeated and small. “It isn’t fair Abel is always getting praised when he’s choosing the weakest and worst of what he has. I didn’t…I wanted him to hurt but not this badly.”
“Wasn’t,” Adam said.
He was shaking, but not from cold or fear. Rage coursed through him like it never had before—not even when Lilith left him, or when he’d bitten into the Fruit and understand what they had just been tricked into doing, or when God had cast them from Eden.
“What?” Cain asked. He still sounded so small, like he was Seth’s age instead of nearly fifteen. Maybe even younger than that.
“It wasn’t fair. Abel was getting praised.”
“No! No, Dad, he isn’t- I didn’t-”
He understood what he’d done. He probably had since the very start, or close to it. He was never stupid.
“He is,” Adam said, and finally looked at Cain.
Cain looked lost. Frightened, in many ways, like every single thing he knew had been upended and scattered. Adam…couldn’t feel much of anything.
“He can’t be,” Cain said, a plea like a prayer. “I didn’t mean it.”
“He is. He’s dead. You killed him.”
“No,” Cain wept. “No!”
Adam was standing. His hands were covered in his son’s blood, his son who lay dead on the ground at his feet. Cain shrank away from him, like-
Like he was afraid Adam might kill him.
“Leave,” Adam said.
Cain sobbed. “No, Daddy, please- I didn’t know! I didn’t know!”
“Leave!” Adam shouted. “You killed him! Get away from here, get out!”
Cain tripped over his feet, scrapped a knee and both palms in the dirt. And then he ran.
Adam watched until he left the field they had tended together, that Adam had first sowed when Cain was first learning to wobble on chubby legs. He watched as he tore through the brush and sharp brushes, until he lost sight of his hair and brown tunic, until he couldn’t hear him in the forest. He stayed there, staring off into the space where he had gone, until a small lamb brayed near his feet.
The creature had crept closer to him and its fallen favorite master. It bleated at the boy crumpled to the earth, clean white wool coming nearer and nearer to being stained by the blood congealing in Abel’s clothes.
“Fuck,” Adam said. His boy—his boys. Cain and Abel, the first two and then only two for several grueling years. One always coming right after the other.
Hadn’t Eve seen this coming? Had a dream so terrible it woke her in the night with a start so strong it had woken Adam, too? She’d begged him to help them, their two eldest children, to prevent the animosity she knew was brewing.
Adam hadn’t believed her, not really. The boys adored each other, it was plain as day to see. Still, she had insisted and it wasn’t that bad of an idea to separate their area of work. Perhaps it would be best, in the long run, for Cain to know as much as he could about farming the earth and for Abel to know how best to tend to their animals. A downright practicality. Up until this moment, had Eve come to him again with her concerns, he didn't think he would have believed it.
Even now, even after all this…he couldn’t actually believe that the two hated each other. Certainly not their sweet, gentle Abel and their thoughtful, dedicated Cain. Not when the roughest tumble they’d gotten into before had only resulted in bruises because they’d accidentally fallen from the river bank they’d been walking near. Not when Adam had watched Cain rise from the bed he and Abel shared with their youngest brother, delicately extracting himself from the tangle of limbs so as to not wake the others, only this morning.
“Fuck!” Adam yelled, tears falling hot and fast.
It was frighteningly easy to gather Abel into his arms. To carry his limp little body back to the house—back to his bed, his mother, their hearth.
“Adam?” came Eve, as he entered their little yard. “What- no, no!”
She must’ve thought he was carrying something else, at least for a moment, but the instant she realized her scream was shrill enough to send the chickens flying to the trees.
“No, no, my baby, my baby,” she cried, running to Adam as if she could take the weight all unto herself. “No, please, this can’t- oh!”
From where Eve had come was Seth, only seven and still little enough to cling to his mother’s legs when uncertain. He looked very much like he would like to do just that, now, old enough to understand that he wouldn’t be able to. Not when Eve wept as she did, not when Adam’s face was wet, not when Abel was limp and Cain was nowhere to be found.
Eve crumpled to her knees, taking Adam down with her. Her arms crossed beneath his. Between them they cradled Abel, so small and so young and so very dead.
~~~
A/N: Full disclaimer I did in fact write this because I watched Hazbin Hotel. Yes, it did surprise me that such a stupid little show (that I have semi-complicated opinions about but did enjoy watching) inspired something like this. I don't think it's strongly related to Hazbin Hotel in any way, though it could be if I was actually interested in expanding it (and I'm not really). There is non-negligible impact from Supernatural and Good Omens in this as well.
#adam and eve#cain and abel#religious trauma#ex catholic#my fic#my writing#call it an original work if yall want idk#I could put this on ao3 but idk what 'fandom' it would be under#honestly i am leaning original work at this point#tw miscarriage#tw character death#tw religious themes#religious imagery#bible fanfiction#because that's a tag#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel adam#supernatural#good omens#or any of those other religious trauma packed shows
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silly lil farming sim AU drawn for a discord server event :) i got a little too lazy to include all the characters i had wanted to, so please imagine for me:
linssen quietly surrounded by a flock of chickens on the nostrade farm. only successful chicken whisperer
canary and alluka hanging out at the flower shop/seeds shop and that killua's face looks less wonky
cheadle is the town mayor. we don't talk about the previous mayor.
#hunter x hunter#hxh#in honor of the harvest moon tonight :)#the event theme was retro anime/games so i tried to imitate the style of the promo artwork for the first couple harvest moon games#which are from the late 90s so juuust barely qualify hehe#too embarrassed to tag all these characters but i'll do one giant tag so it shows up in search#for anyone seeking out any possible mention of a certain character i guess (i've been there many times lol)#here we go: gon freecss kurapika melody senritsu basho leorio paladiknight machi komacine shizuku murasaki killua zoldyck
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gonna draw them being lovely for a bit
#witch hat tag#orufrey#sorry that these are all like the same kiss . i didnt just sit there and draw 4 oru-smoonch-from-the-left at once#but perhaps no-one minds#the 2nd one was a theme of breakfast-lunch-dinner-dessert. oh i do treasure the pudding era of it all#i have MORE modern au follow-ups to do but my hand hurts..and my back..i keep having to drop everything and lie down#hand hurty even just playing baldy gate for a break..GAHHH!! Why did i say the other day that i dont have drawing pain any more
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If and when y’all see an epic THK meta about the rejection of the black and white Christian institutional morality represented by Captain Christ (Biblical Good) and Mother Lilith (Biblical Evil) through the experience of love and compassion, someone please send it my way.
#I love you FK and Joongdunk fans but I’m not strong enough to dig through all your gifs in the thk tag to find meta lol#But honestly the above theme is the biggest reason to argue Jojo adapted from the actual play#There’s no patriarch in Shakespeare who’s not a representative for the Christian God#And no bard play that’s not deeply concerned with the problems of condemnation caused by rigid essentialist theology#I would say Jojo’s taking it in a Buddhist or Taoist direction but I don’t think we got any direct references to them in the show#If it was an Aof show we would’ve visited a temple#I think Jojo might just be a straight humanist—no established system of belief necessary#the heart killers#the heart killers the series#thk
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good morning, here's my concept of spamvil "ketchup kids"
#deltarune#deltarune au#spamton#jevil#spamvil#deltarune oc#they are indeed chapter 3 themed but could be reworked for any dark world#they also revolve entirely around the concept of being “born” before the events of deltarune#and for my own tags#damion#pierrah
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