#<- that one is funny if you read it as jeffreys

[cactus-cass]

Why yes jooper is my favourite crackship how could you tell

[rainrot4me]

Steam Roller | Chapter 6 | Final

Summary: Jeff has become a solid part of your life. And with happiness comes healing, so Jeff plans a surprise just for you.

Characters: Jeffrey Woods x Female Reader

SMUT WARNING MINORS DNI

TW: Blowjob, gagging, grinding, rubbing, vaginal, eating out, cream pie, teasing, slight embarrassment, alcohol, drinking

Words: 3.4k

A/N: My first multi-chapter story is officially finished :) Thank you so much for reading and supporting this bumpy ride!

This is a continuation, chapter one is here.

Weeks passed and Jeff had officially infested your life.

While he stilled lived in the Slendermansion, he preferred to spend his nights curled up in your bed or passed out on your couch. He claimed it was, “Just more comfortable.” But you slowly grew accustomed to him lingering around. It was comforting coming home from work to find him desperately try and scratch dinner together for the both of you, or alternatively, finding him passed out and covered in blood from his latest spree. It kept you on your toes, but you could use the excitement. 

Slowly opening up to eachother, your relationship pressed further than just sex and living together, but edged on intimate. Jeff explained his story, making you cry the first time he fully opened up about why he was the way he was. Your trust slowly built, seeking eachother for more than just pleasure, but also any emotion you had. In a way, you were healing eachother. However fucked up that was. 

But as you stood in Jeffrey’s bedroom at the mansion, shuffling through his drawers, you debated if loving him was really worth it. This was disgusting. Somehow, every item of clothes that he owned was stained with blood, whether it be his or someone’s elses, you didn’t ask. Jeff stood over your shoulder, laughing nervously every time you tossed a shirt to the ground. “Really, Jeffrey, I don’t know how you haven’t died from some airborne disease living in here.” You scoffed, pulling the rest of his soiled clothes out of the drawer and pushing them into a trashbag. “It’s not like I stay here anymore anyways.” He groaned, shoving the bag into the hallway. “No, b- but we do. And I can s- smell your room down th- the hall.” Toby and EJ laid on his bed, the mattress stripped bare due to his sheets being just as nasty as his clothes. You silently thanked yourself for never letting him fuck you on that thing. 

“Oh yeah? Let’s take a blacklight to your room and see how many cumstains show up.” Jeff barked back, shoving Toby’s head down hard against the bed. You rolled your eyes, collecting piles of trash and tossing them into a second trashbag. You shot a glare to Jeff and he began to help, holding the bag for you as you picked up yet another instant ramen cup. EJ laughed behind his mask, crossing his arms as he laid back against the headboard. “Damn. You’re whipped.” You smiled, but Jeff didn’t find it funny, shooting daggers to the demon. 

“Am not.”

“Uhm, absolutely you are.” You huffed, collecting the last of the trash and tying the bag shut, pushing it with the others. Jeff rolled his eyes, shoving his hands in his hoodie pockets as he swore silently. The room finally looked somewhat clean, all the trash and clutter moved out and much more to your liking. 

Visiting the mansion was not something you did often. Definitely not considering your tense relationship with Slender and the limited amount of time EJ could keep his composure around you. But when you did, you made sure to use your time the best you could. Relationships with the other creeps had grown, their admiration for you high considering how difficult they knew dealing with Jeff could be. They felt comfortable around you, your desensitization to their weird habits and manners making them all the more friendly. As sad as it sounded, you felt more at home amongst murderers than you did with your late friends. As much as you missed them, your heart became more full by the day.

“All right. Showtimes over. Clear out.” Jeff barked, shoving Toby and EJ off his bed and pushing them towards the door. Toby pressed back, trying his best to wave at you before Jeff slammed the door in their faces. He sighed heavily, running his hands over his face before plopping down on the mattress. You slid beside him, Jeff’s arm instantly sliding around your hip and pulling you close. “Haven’t even been in this room in forever. No reason to. Your bed’s much better.” He grinned, pressing a kiss against your cheek before laying back on the bed. He was right, Toby thanking you heavily every time you saw him for the lack of Jeff ruining his good mood daily. Maybe it was just fate that you got him out of this terrible room. 

Jeff tugged at the back of your shirt, pulling you to lay beside him and hugging you close. “Finally. Peace.” He smiled, closing his eyes and sighing jokingly. You playfully slapped his shoulder, giggling. “Oh hush. They love you and you know it.” He groaned, wrapping his arm around you waist tightly. “They love fucking with me, that’s for sure.” You rolled close, throwing you leg over his waist and sitting up, straddling him as you pressed you hands against his chest. “Oh yeah? And are you any different?” You smiled, giggling as his hands gripped your hips roughly. Pulling his feet up, he flipped you suddenly, throwing you back down against the bed and towering over you, a smug smile on his face. “Oh, totally. They wish they could dick me down as well as I do you.” He purred, diving down and pressing open-mouthed kisses against your jaw. You sighed, tangling your hands into his hair as he nibbled your neck. “Yeah? I’d love to see that. EJ dicking you down, you sucking Toby off. Mmm.” You giggled, Jeff immediately snapping off your neck and glaring at you, disgust riding his face. He raised off of you, groaning loudly as the thought invaded his mind, his arousal immediatly dissapearing. 

You giggled loudly, rolling on the bed before grabbing his hoodie sleeve, pulling him back against you. You pushed his back down against the bed again, laying on top of him and smiling. “Not as good as me though.” Jeff rolled his eyes, brushing your hair behind your ear and admiring you. “Damn right.” He groaned as you slid down his chest, sitting up on your knees between his legs and pushing his hoodie up. His happy trail peeked from under his jeans, the dark hair teasing you as you began to unbutton his jeans. Jeff smiled, hooking his arms behind his head and propping up to see better. 

His cock was already twitching, the length growing as he became harder under your touch. Stroking him slowly, you leaned closer, spitting on the head. It made your hand glide smoother, Jeff hitched breath making you smile as your own excitement became evident between your legs. Now fully hard, you leaned down, licking a stripe up the underside of his cock before taking the soaked head in your mouth. Jeff groaned, reaching down to scoop your hair back out of your face and holding it tightly in a ponytail. You slowly began to bob your head on the length, tongue swirling in time with your head. Even after all this time, you still found it difficult to take him comfortably, his thickness forcing your jaw to unhinge slightly. However, you had gotten better about learning what made Jeff go crazy. 

Pulling your head back to the head of his cock, you flicked your tongue against his slit, sucking tightly as you did. Jeff huffed a groan, fist tugging your hair sharply as his hips bucked into your mouth. You giggled, resuming your pace of bobbing your head until he was grunting and thrusting up into your mouth. You gagged, head pressing against the back of your throat and restraining your breathing and making your throat constrict. If there was also one thing you learned, it was that Jeff loved to make you gag. He tangled both hands in your hair, pressing your head down and forcing you to gag again, slobber pooling inside of your mouth and glistening against his length. He chuckled, refusing to let you up even as you gripped his jeans tightly. “Yeah, babe, choke on it. Such a pretty face when your mouth is full.” Only when you began to slap his leg, head growing dizzy from the lack of air, did he tug your head off of his length. You coughed loudly, gasping for breath as drool ran down your chin. He wrapped his fist around his cock, slapping the head against your cheek, smearing spit and precum all over your face and swollen lips. 

You glared at him, head still light as he tugged you up to straddle him again. He helped you tug your shorts and panties off, tossing them down as he ran a finger through your folds. His finger glistened, your cunt already wet and throbbing for attention. You were eager to have him inside you, already lifting your hips so he could angle himself inside you but he pulled you back down, making you whine. “Not yet, babe.” He grinned, pressing his cock down flat against his abdomen and pressing your hips down against him. Your folds slotted around his length, clit pressed flush against him and twitching impatiently. “You gotta earn it now.” He began to tug your hips forward, cunt grinding down against his length and rubbing just right. You gasped loudly, wrapping your hands around his as he gripped your hips tighter. You began to grind on your own, cunt rubbing down on his length and making it wet with your arousal. The sharp tinge of arousal shot up your core, the head of Jeff’s cock brushing against your clit. You hissed, hips stuttering quickly against his head and pulling your orgasm close. “Yeah, good, just like that.” Jeff cooed, thrusting his hips shallowly as ground your hips down. Gripping his hands tighter, your clit throbbed, cunt cleching down hard as you came. 

Jeff grinned, forcing your hips to continue rubbing against his length as you rode your high, moans loud. When you were sensitive and whining, Jeff tugged your hips up and pressed the head of his cock against your entrance, forcing you down and filling you quickly. You groaned as he stretched you, slipping your bottom lip between your teeth to stifle the whines that bubbled in your throat. You were still so sensitive, clit throbbing as Jeff began to thrust up into you, his own moans louder than yours. Your skin slapped loudly, every jerk of his hips making your stomach tighter with pleasure. “There you go, riding me so good.” He groaned, nails digging into your hips and roughly pounding you down onto him. Tears pricked your eyes, the sensitivity becoming too much as you gasped. 

Jeff began to pant loudly, feet pressed down into the bed and holding you tight so he could piston up into your warm cunt. You elbows buckled, your body falling forward and laying flat against his chest. Jeff’s hands reached to grip your ass quickly, tugging the skin tightly as he fucked up into you faster, his grunts matching the pace of his hips. “Gotta ruin your pussy. Gonna fill it so full EJ’ll be able to smell you full of my cum.” He growled against your ear as your arms wrapped around his shoulders, holding tight as his pace became sporadic. You cried out, eyes clenching shut as you felt your cunt throb. It felt so much better to cum around his cock, the thickness stretching you perfectly and pressing against your walls. You dug your head into the crook of his neck, a strangled moan spilling from you as Jeff dug his nails into your ass, trying his best to continue thrusting against your constricted walls. Eventually, his hips stuttered and pulled against your cunt, burrying himself deep before shooting his warm seed into you. He moaned loudly through gritted teeth, his cock twitching hard as he spilled. 

You both laid pressed against each other as you caught your breath, Jeff satisfied with warming his now soft cock inside of your tight walls. When he finally pulled out, he was quick to flip you on your back, nesting himself in between your legs. He hooked his arms around your thighs, pulling them open as his face laid inches from your soaked cunt. “Now for my favorite part.” He chuckled, trailing kisses down the inside of your thighs to your damp folds. Licking a thick stripe against your entrance, you groaned loudly. Your legs tried the best to close, but Jeff held them still, pressing his tongue against your entrance. Jeff had mentioned before that you always tasted the best after you came, your arousal still soaking your walls and making you even sweeter. But as his tongue pressed his seed back inside of you, you were almost convinced he just got off on the taste of your fluids mixed together. His psychotic tendencies followed him into bed, but it just made it that more exciting you thought. 

Your cunt squealched against his tongue, the muscle lapping up your insides. Jeff was groaning against you, eyes closed tight as his fingers pressed sharp against your thighs. You ran you fingers through his hair, tugging every time his tongue curled against your walls. Your gasps made him smile, every move he made intentional on hearing your voice.

When he was satisfied you were clean, he popped out of your entrance, kissing against your folds and back up your thigh. Goosebumps rose as you took deep breaths, grounding yourself from the high you just rode through. Jeff leaned up, pressing kisses against your cheeks until he reached the corner of your mouth. You smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck and sliding your lips against his. He chuckled, his chapped lips pressing firm as you held yourself close to him. Finally pulling back, he zipped his jeans back up and found your discarded shorts, sliding them up your legs as you smiled at him. “Told you they weren’t as good as me.”

-

Jeff had left you to nap out your exhaustion soon after, mumbling something about talking with Masky before he slipped out the door. Your eyes were already heavy, sleep gripping you before you could protest. 

A few hours passed, the sun well set by the time you stirred again. You rolled over, staring at the ceiling absently until you heard the bedroom door slowly creak open. Raising up, you were met with a small little face poking through the crack, smiling shyly. You smiled back, Sally pressing into the room and standing at the edge of the bed. “Jeff told me to come get you.” She giggled, her teddy bear nestled firmly under her arm as she grabbed at your hand. You laughed quietly as she drug you off the bed and out the door, leading you down the familiar hallway and out the large mansion doors. 

The night air was cool, your shorts offering you no relief against the mid-autumn breeze. You shivered, but Sally pressed on, dragging you to the edge of the forest and continuing further. How she knew where she was going, you had no idea, but the full moon in the sky luminated the dense forest beautifully. “Sally?” You mused, completely lost in your surroundings. She didn’t answer, her bare feet trudging further. 

It wasn’t much further that you saw an orange glow at a break through the trees. Your brows knitted, unsure of what you were looking at until you heard the mix of voices stirring. When you finally broke through the tree line and entered the all too familiar clearing, your heart ached. 

A large bonfire sat in the middle of the clearing, several foldable chairs nestled around and even more people surrounding them. You saw Jeff immediately. He was hunched in a foldable chair, nursing a beer bottle as Toby leaned over his shoulder. Sally drug you further, a small smile on her face as she brought you to him. You gripped her hand, thanking her before she ran off to join another group of girls roasting marshmallows in the fire. Turning to Jeff, you sighed. He was gazing at you, his pale skin warm against the large firelight as he smiled. “Suprise.” He grinned, hooking his fingers into the waistline of your shorts and pulling you across his lap. You smiled wide, heart fluttering as he pressed a kiss against your cheek. 

“I cannot believe you did this.” You giggled, leaning into him as he wrapped his arm around your waist. He took another swig of his beer, rolling his eyes. “You wouldn’t believe how hard it was to get Masky to help me. The motherfucker.” He groaned, nodding towards the tall man in the chair across from you. Masky sat next to a man in a mustard colored hoodie, his arms crossed as a cigarette smoldered between his lips. He caught your gaze, flicking his hand at you to say hi, which you returned with a nod. You turned back to Jeff, your arm sliding over his shoulders and running your hands through his hair, massaging his neck. “H- Had to get me to chop al- all the wood up.” Toby smiled, sipping on a beer of his own. Jeff rolled his eyes again, pushing the boy roughly as you laughed. 

The night was warm next to the fire, the stars shining brightly overhead as you breathed deep. You didn’t recognize some of the people here, but Jeff acknowledged everyone, answering any questions you had. It was nice, conversations and laughing filling the quiet air as the fire cracked and popped. It reminded you so much of that night. But this time there wasn’t any bad memories. Just a group of people who felt more like home than anything you’d ever known.

EJ startled you as he appeared over Jeff’s shoulder, leaning down before cringing back suddenly. “You guys reek.” He groaned, turning back to grab a beer out of a cooler. Jeff stared at you, eyes wide as he burst out laughing. You did the same, embarrassment tinting your cheeks as EJ brought you back a cold bottle. Taking a sip, you leaned your head back against Jeff’s shoulder, his arm hugging you tightly. 

But when you felt him stiffen, you sat up, confused by the tension of his face. You followed his eyes, searching for what he was looking at. The noise of the small party died down, everyone seeming to look the same direction. 

You recognized his suit first, his tall lengthy limbs towering against the rest of the creeps. The same figure that stood amongst your trees that day. You stiffened, Jeff’s hands gripping you tightly as Slender stared right at the two of you. The lack of a face made you uneasy, unsure of what emotion he was portraying. But as he took a step towards you, you feared for the worst, your heart thudding in your chest. Jeff was shooting dangers, his emotions similar to yours as Toby and EJ held their ground. At least you wouldn’t die unprotected. 

However, when Slender bent at the waist and bowed respectfully, confusion washed over you. You nodded your head back slowly, unsure of what was happening. “It’s nice to finally meet you, [Y/N].” Slender spoke softly, his long arms clasped behind his back as he stood straight again. He glanced to Jeff, nodding. Jeff returned with a half-smile, eyes still glaring as he took another swig. Only when Slender turned away, positioning himself next to a blond elf-looking guy, did you finally release the tension in your shoulders. You turned to Jeff, taking a deep breath before laying your head on his shoulder again. “I thought I was dead.” You smiled, Jeff’s chin reating on top of your head. Jeff chuckled, “You and me both.” Toby relaxed too, picking leaves off the ground and tossing them to the fire, his smile uncaring. “I was ready to watch the show if Jeff tried to fight him.” EJ chuckled, dragging a chair beside yours and plopping down. 

When the quiet conversations of the crowed resumed, you let your eyes flutter closed, taking a deep breath against Jeff’s neck. “Thank you.” You mumbled, twisting his hair in between your fingers. He hummed, rubbing his hand across your back. “Anything for you, babe.” 

If this is what ruining your life felt like, you didn’t ever want to go back.

This story is complete!

Comments and reblogs are appreciated! 𐚁₊⊹

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Fun and Games

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.5k

Warnings: fluff

Request by anon: Hey can i request something with Jensen Ackles, where the reader is Jeffrey daughter and Jensen wife and the fans asks Jeffrey who he find out about her daughter dating Jensen? Something fluff with funny between them

Summary: Your husband brings you along to one of his panels with your dad, and you make the mistake of telling the fans a prank you pulled on your dad. He has some stories of you, too, and everything comes to light right then and there.

Square Filled: locked in a playground (2020) for @spnfluffbingo

Author’s Note: i appreciate any and all comments! <3

x

“Why’d you have to drag me out to this thing? I could have been sitting at home in the bath reading my book,” you say to your husband.

Jensen wraps his arms around your waist and slides his hands to your ass, squeezing your cheeks before sliding his hands into your back pockets.

“What do you mean? You love coming with me to these things.” These things being conventions with thousands of screaming fans for all kinds of fandoms. You love going with him but you kind of wish you could be at home right now. “I’ll tell you what. If you endure the next seven hours with me here, I’ll give you a massage when we get home.”

“A real one?” you grin.

“Oil and all.”

“Will you be naked?”

“Is there any other way?” he chuckles.

“I love you.”

“You stole the words right out of my mouth.”

Jensen leans down and molds his lips against your own. Being married to him is the best thing you could have ever done. There is never a dull moment in the Ackles house. The door to the break room opens and you pull away from your husband. Your dad, Jeffrey, steps inside to steal a quick snack.

“Come on, kids. We’re on,” he grins mischievously.

“What are you up to?” you narrow your eyes at him.

“Nothing. I have a feeling this panel is about to be a good one.”

Your dad leaves and you take a deep breath in to calm yourself.

“He’s gonna tell the story again, isn’t he?”

“Probably,” Jensen shrugs.

“He’s told everyone he knows about that damn story but never to an audience. I better not see a bunch of memes tomorrow about it.”

“Knowing the fans, probably. Stay off social media for the next week,” he laughs and walks out.

“It’s not funny! Jensen!”

You follow your husband to where your dad is, and all three of you step on stage to greet all the fans who came to watch your panel. They cheer when they see you, and you take a microphone from one of the crew members. You’re not an actor, in fact, you’re far from it. However, you love the community Supernatural fans have created, and love going to these things with Jensen and Jared.

After greetings are done, Jensen and your dad get into the groove of things. They thank people for coming out here, yada, yada, yada. This panel is very inclusive so a lot of fans have questions about upcoming episodes, your lives behind the scenes, and just funny stories of things that have happened to you. No question is off the table so you prepare yourself for whatever comes.

“This question is for Y/N,” a fan asks once the questioning portion of the panel starts.

“Hi, what’s your name?”

“Jessica.”

“Lovely name! I like your hat!”

“Okay, let the girl get to her questions,” Jensen jokes.

“I’m just giving her a compliment. Calm down, old man.” A round of laughter rolls out. “Go ahead, Jessica.”

“I know you were an extra in this last season in a few scenes. My question is, what’s been one of the funniest moments you remember from filming?”

“Oh, that’s a good question,” you grin. You’re not an actor, but you’ve been in a few scenes as a bystander when needed. Jensen loves taking you on set so you can watch, so even if you’re not filming, you’re there to witness their shenanigans. “Okay, you guys remember the episode where my dad guest stared? John Winchester comes back for an episode?”

A round of cheers lets you know they know exactly what you’re talking about.

“You’re really going to tell this story?” your dad asks you.

“I’m telling the story,” you grin. “I’m not sure this is going to make it on the blooper reel or not, but remember the part when Sam was going to crush that small white rock to get rid of John and send him back to the past? Well, we were all super serious and everyone is so in character. Emotions are high and we’re doing our best not to cry. Well, when Jared went to crush the rock, it didn’t shatter as we hoped. Instead, it flew off the table and hit my dad right in the crotch. I swear it was the funniest thing I have ever seen. Jensen, Jared, and I were on the floor in tears.”

“It took us a while to get back into character, but that was a nice break from character,” Jensen grins.

“Oh! I got another story!”

“Really? Another one?” your dad asks.

“So, this was when I was visiting Jen on set but I wanted to pull a prank on my dad since he was coming in that week to film that same episode.”

“Why are you telling them this story?” your dad groans.

“Shh, they’re gonna love it. So, I worked with the director to get him in on this prank. He gave me access to his work email that I then used to send my dad an email regarding the dress code at work.”

You can’t contain your giggles at this point.

“Keep it up, Y/N,” your dad nods.

“Shh! I told him it was dress-as-a-clown-to-work day. Everyone was going to be in costume and we were going to surprise one of the makeup artists since it was her birthday. He believed me.” Everyone starts laughing at what’s to come. “When he showed up that morning in the funkiest clown costume set with the red nose, the rainbow hair, and the big ol’ clown feet, we all died laughing. I even got a video,” you smirk.

Before your dad can protest, you had one of the crew members put it up on the screen behind you so everyone can see. Your dad walks in wearing the clown suit and realization rolls over his face when he knows you set him up. Everyone in the audience is laughing while your dad is smirking at you. You’re not paying attention to him to notice it otherwise you would have turned it off.

“Yeah, so that was a fun day on set.” The video ends. “The best part is, we kept him in that suit all day.”

“You think that’s funny?” your dad asks. Jensen can’t contain his laughter but tries to cover it with a cough. “You wanna go there? Fine. It’s my turn to tell a story.”

“Wait, Dad--”

“No, no, no, you had your fun. It’s my turn now.”

“You’re going to drag me down with her?” Jensen asks.

“You bet your ass.” 

You get up to jog off stage when your husband grabs your arm and yanks you back into him.

“Nope. If I have to sit here and endure this, so are you.”

“So, would you all like to know how I knew my daughter was dating Jensen?” Everyone cheers to let him know they are interested. “This was back when I was a regular on the show. Y/N had come on set a few times and was getting friendly with Jensen. I thought nothing of it until one day when I was sitting at home minding my own business.

“I get a call from Y/N where she tells me not to ask any questions and to meet her. I figure she’s in some kind of trouble so I tell her to send me the address and I’m on my way. When she does, I get my beloved baseball bat just in case I need to beat someone’s ass. I rush over to where she is thinking she was at a bar, a friend’s house, whatever. I did not expect to pull up to a child’s playground.

“Still, I’m in protective dad mode. I hear her calling my name so I run over to where she is and stop dead in my tracks. In the child’s castle-dome thing is my daughter, on top of Jensen, naked, stuck in the arch. I mean, I’ve been a little adventurous in my day, but a child’s playground? Seriously?”

“God,” you scoff and shove your face into your husband’s neck.

“Did you call for help?” someone in the audience asks.

“Yeah after about ten minutes of laughing my ass off.”

“Okay,” you say into your mic and pull away from Jensen, “in my defense, that opening looked wider than I thought.” Your dad laughs loudly but you turn to him with a glare. “Don’t start this game with me. I know some shut about you. Better stop now before I tell them about how you mistook some young lady as mom and almost gotten the shit beaten out of you.”

A round of “oohs” sound off, and your dad puts both hands up in defense.

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop.”

That incident happened nearly thirteen years ago so you can laugh about it now. You don’t care if people know because it is a funny story. You’re just glad to have stories like that to share. It’s all fun and games, but at the end of the day, you’re surrounded by love.

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[novy2sirius]

3 in numerology

note: if you’re sensitive don’t read the ones with trigger warnings. my page has some blunt observations sometimes

• 3’s have strong creativity and social skills. even if they have other energies that make them introverted they can still socialize well when they need to. Their creativity can get them really far in life, along with their charm

• 3’s come off very friendly. they don’t have many enemies, but one of their biggest enemies is 4

• 3’s tend to get along really well with 5’s

• a lot of 3’s are astrologers

• 3’s are usually not afraid to speak their mind and will roast the hell out of you. not the type of person you wanna get into a roast battle with. example: fannita from tiktok born on a 3 day

• 3 is the number of comedy so 3’s are usually pretty funny. Example: theo von born in march, the 3rd month. there is other funny numbers though

• 3’s may lack self discipline, but they actually need it to thrive in life

• 3’s have child like energy which can be good if they’re at a higher vibration. it can just be a playful, fun energy. if at a low vibration though they may come off as immature

• 3’s usually enjoy the simple things in life

• 3’s are one of the most likely numbers to be criminals

• when 3’s can’t have what they want and they’re at a lower vibration they will break the rules or cheat in order to attain that specific thing

• tw: weight. there are a lot of 3’s that don’t eat healthy. i noticed a lot of them have weight loss when they’re older but may have struggled with weight when they were younger

• tw: pedophilia. 3’s are the most likely to be pedophiles. obviously not all 3’s are pedophiles but there is a lot of pedophiles that have this numerical energy. examples: jeffrey epstein a 3 life path, andrew tate born in a 3 month and said he dated a 16 y/o at 30, r kelly was born in a 23 year and anything 2 is next to doubles the energy of the other number

• if a 3 is at a higher vibration then they obviously will not be a pedophile and may just like people younger than them depending on their other energies, but even at a low vibration they will not all be pedos

• 3’s are good at promoting things

• 3’s can have a lot of jealousy at times when they have hatred for someone for no good reason

• 3’s are amazing writers

[raythekiller]

Hi, I've been reading your works and I'm envious. Your scenarios and headcanons are so cool :D I was wondering if you could make a headcanon for the creeps living with a Latina recruit who is sassy but caring to the point she (or they) will aggressively take care of someone if they aren't feeling well. Hope it isn't too much out of your comfort zone. Have a good day and take care

<3333

🗒 ❛ Sassy But Caring Latinx! Reader ༉‧₊˚✧

Featuring: Jeff The Killer, Ben Drowned, Ticci Toby, Eyeless Jack, Masky

#Notes: as a dad friend sassy latino myself this one was right up my alley ty

pronouns used: none

˗ˏˋ back to navigation ´ˎ˗

꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Jeff The Killer

You definitely give him a lot of shit. When you first arrive he's all cocky thinking he has a new victim, but then as soon as you opened your mouth, boom, he got dragged. Since he's quite the troublemaker, you'll probably be screaming at him a lot.

"¡Jeff! ¿Que chingado estás hacendo?"

"Slender, the new recruit is speaking tongues again!"

Secretly thinks it's kinda hot when you speak Spanish. The rolling r's just do something to him. While he's absolutely not gonna try to learn it, he ends up picking up a thing or two just from hearing you and the context of the situation. Can't speak it to save his life, though. Still, he makes fun of your language all the time.

"What, you forgot English already?"

Also, he's like, terrible with self care. Not as bad as Ben, but still pretty bad. Doesn't shower for days and hates drinking water. You'll have to threaten him with a chancla to get him to actually take some care of himself.

"¡Jeffrey Woods, chingada madre, limpia tu habitación!"

"You can't fucking make me!"

꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Ben Drowned

Little mister Hasn't Showered, Slept Or Eaten In A Week over here. I swear, this guy is helpless. Spends all his time cupped up in his room playing videogames and eating nothings but trash like some kind of fucking raccoon. You'll have the hardest time trying to take care of him.

"Ben, how long has it been since the last time you showered?"

"Uhmm... I don't know, about 9 days?"

" *sighs in spanish* "

Genuinely terrified of you when you get mad and start cussing in Spanish. He'll clean his room, he promises, just please put the chancla down!

Will actually be really happy if you make him Hispanic food. Not only does it taste good, but you made it for him because you care about him, and that means the world. He can't handle spicy stuff though, so be careful.

꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Ticci Toby

Not too bad in general when it comes to taking care of himself, but he does just... Forget to eat. All the time. He will just suddenly get light headed and remember he hasn't eaten a bite of food in the last 3-4 days. Another one who loves if you make him Hispanic food, but unlike Ben, he likes his shit extra spicy. Probably one of the only creeps who will try to learn Spanish to understand you better, even if you're fluent in English.

"H-hola, Y/N. Como- como estás?"

"Estoy bien, pero no necessitas hablar conmigo en español, chulo."

Yes, you call him "chulo". He will also listen to the music and just try to learn more of the culture in general to make you feel more welcome. Overall, genuinely puts in an effort in taking better care of himself so you don't have to worry about him as much.

꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Eyeless Jack

I'd be surprised if he didn't know Spanish already, which was probably a bit of a shock to you, but a good one nonetheless. He's not normally into gossip, but there's something extremely funny about talking shit about someone while they're right there and they have no idea what you're saying.

"Jeff es tan jodidamente estúpido."

"Sí, ¿verdad?"

"The FUCK you two talkin about?"

You won't have to worry about him much, he takes basic care of himself unlike most of the others. If anything, he's scolding rhe others WITH you. You're basically the parents of everyone else at this point.

꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Masky

Has the biggest fucking crush on you and will forever be mad about it. I said this in the ideal S/O post - he needs someone who gives him shit but also looks out for him and the others. The fact that latino people are extra hot is just a bonus. Unfortunately, this also means he's extra mean to you.

"Tienes que dejar de fumar. Te va a joder los pulmones así."

"Sorry, doll, I don't speak 'freak'."

Like Jeff, secretly thinks it's hot when you speak in your language. Hates when you scold him, loves it when you scold others, especially if you get extra mad and start cussing in Spanish. It's just amusing to him. Plus, you make things easier for him now that he's not the only one parenting these weirdos and he's genuinely glad you came along.

[kingchad]

I havent kept up with the actors social media, I am curious - could you link to or explain how Jed Goodacre interprets Chad vs. how you interpret Chad?

oh, yes, gladly! There's an observable shift between D1 Chad and D2/3 Chad. D1 Chad is a lot more pointed and deliberately mean. D2/3 Chad is a comedy side character who is incidentally mean because he doesn't recognize when he's being insensitive.

my personal speculation is that when Sarah Jeffrey had scheduling conflicts and couldn't be on set for D2, the original intended plotline for Chad had to change, and leading to him becoming a harmless gag character for levity. It also doesn't hurt that Jedidiah Goodacre is a HUGE Jim Carrey fan and pretty clearly enjoys any opportunity to improv/be silly on set. (If you're familiar with Carrey's work at all, D2/3 Chad is definitely giving that.) I suspect that Jedidiah's affinity for comedy on set pushed the Chad character even MORE in the direction of harmless sidekick than maybe was originally intended. If Audrey had been in D2, Chad might have been more similar to his D1 self throughout the series.

Of Chad, Jedidiah gives a pretty consistent take whenever he does give one. The quotes I'll pull are "[Chad] always thinks that [he is] doing the right thing, when sometimes [he is] not smart enough to understand [he is] dead wrong"* and "I feel like the first movie, maybe Chad was a bit more standoffish and maybe came off as not such a nice guy....in the second film, you found that Chad was more of a loveable idiot. That's a very fun place to be when you're an actor because in any scene, your go-to move is to just not understand and sometimes it ends up being funny. In the third installment, you can expect much of the same." Pretty unambiguously can be interpreted that Chad is stupid and means no real harm, and Jedidiah has fun playing him that way.

PERSONALLY, I much much much prefer D1 Chad's personality, because I have historically been drawn to and have a real fondness for characters that are assholes. I do try and incorporate some of the stupidity and goofiness of D2/3 into my writing, because I recognize that's 2/3rds of the canon material we have and I don't want to be COMPLETELY making shit up, but y'know. In my view, Chad knows when he is being a dick but doesn't value the people he's treating poorly enough to care. He isn't book-smart but he is people smart, and can manipulate and exploit the people around him. He thinks he's better than other people and can use that to justify anything he does.

A really core part of this to me is that Chad has almost religiously bought into the societal rules of Auradon, namely that there are good and bad people, and fairytales go a certain way. This is part of why Chad is deeply closeted and feels like he can't come out. He feels pressured to "stick to the script", in a sense. Heteronormative fairytale society. Auradonian compulsory heterosexuality.

Adopted Chad is a new thing for me, but I think it adds another layer to the fairytale conformity thing. Like he feels an even greater pressure to do the nuclear family, white picket fence castle grounds, 2.5 kids thing because he worries he might be perceived as "not belonging" by others. He feels he needs to prove himself by throwing himself into the stereotypical prince thing as much as he can.

I personally think those traits are more interesting to write and read than D2/3 Chad's traits are. They provide a great starting point for character growth. It's way more engaging to watch someone change into a more empathetic person when they can understand that they were wrong. It's not as interesting to read about a stupid character bumbling through social interactions imo.

I don't think that I always successfully communicate those ideas in my fics because I was 15 when I started writing Descendants fic! It's been 7 years, I'm 22 now and hopefully a better and more thoughtful writer! Incorporating all of this is something I'm REALLY deliberate about in my WIPs now and I actually want to rework a lot of stuff I've already posted someday.

*this first quote is from 2014, pre-release press for Descendants 1, so honestly this kind of disproves my speculation since the whole statement seems very by-the-numbers "Disney gave me a list of character traits and it's these ones" to me. I guess Chad might have been stupid all along! but the vibe is definitely different between films so the understanding of the character definitely shifted between movies regardless.

[creepy-friday]

Creepypasta Jeff x Proxy fem!Reader

|"Good person"|

Warnings: angst,drugs mentions

"I need you to tell me that I am a good person" ~inspired by Bojack

"Jeff?" you asked the man next to the tree,his figure being shallowed whole by the shadows of the night.To be honest,you didn't expect the smiling killer to be out at the time you ended your demon hunt,was he high?

"I'm not fucking high." he broke the silence with an angry tone as if reading your thoughts."You're staring at me like you haven't seen a fucking-just,let me be,kay'?I fucked up a little,I need some time out.No jokes,no funny business,just leave to your witch hunt or something.." the pale man mumbled loud enough for you to hear.

Jeffrey sure was an odd individual,and without question he suffered some sort of mental illness,but you never pressed anyone to open up to you.It wasn't your job to be their therapist-but to calm down any outburts that would cause trouble.

This is the first time you have this much time to stare at him like that,the first time he doesn't have any spark in his eyes nor any blood on his clothes.

Instead of trailing off you noticed how he simply stared at his hands,a white dust being nearly visible on them.Did he lost his drugs?Was he having a withdrawal?Maybe he was injured and didn't want to tell you like a little bitch.

Your accusations were interrupted by the man's tears that started to trickle down his pale cheeks,falling down his sickly figure.

"I need you to tell me that I am a good person." he whispered,head titled down as his eyes moved from one place to the other,as if he was searching on the ground for a reason for you to respond.

Why did he need your approval?Why yours?Were you two even close to begin with in order for him to consider your opinion?

You clenched your jaw and continued to look next to him,sharing a comfortable silence yet to be filled with sadness.After a few moments the dark haired man suddenly moved his hands to wipe his tears."Sorry,that was a moment of uhh.." he continued to rub his hands on the pale skin of his face until he left red marks on it.

"Of weakness.Yeah.." he stood up,looking for a second in your eyes then focusing on the empty space next to you."fuck." his eyes grew wide then an expression of utter disgust mixed with despair appeared on his features

"Ah,FUCK!" his eyebrows furrowed as he moved his hand trough his dark locks.

"Jeff,calm down." the sudden response from you made him jump.

"I am calm-I am fucking calm." the memories of his 18 year old self flooded his mind,from the psychiatrist who told him to calm down to his brother.

"Listen,Y/N,just this once,do not talk to anyone about this.See,I am calm." he stated,voice as clear as ever as his eyes betrayed him."Forget this."

"Just..ha..I had my moment." he joked as he hurried past you,leaving you all alone.You didn't chase after him,but looked as he disappeared trough the trees.

Upon a closer look at the spot he used to sit on,you noticed one of his knives. Surprisingly,this one was clean and devoid of any red substances.Picking it up you further analysed it,deciding on which option was the best one-to give it back to the killer or to leave it be-like you left him hanging on his question.

[ofstarsandvibranium]

Unexpectedly Yours: Part 7

Fandom: Ted Lasso (Regency AU)

Pairing: Roy Kent x F!Reader

Summary: Lord Roy Kent still has yet to marry. He hates the notion that marriage is a way to ensure your status in society. You have delayed your debut to society for years because of the same idea. So what happens when two people who hate the idea of marriage are constantly drawn to each other?

Series Masterlist

It had been a week since Roy had seen you with Goodman and he couldn't stop thinking about you; how you smiled at him, laughed with him...it caused a deep pain in Roy. One that didn't seem to ease.

The following week, Roy, Clara, and Phoebe were having breakfast. Clara's ladies maid brought in the letters as well as a new paper that's been circling around the city, specifically among many women's circles. The latest gossip about Richmond's own people was being publicized, causing a stir among the city's residents.

Clara, usually not into gossip, suddenly found it to be her guilty pleasure every morning. Setting the letters for Roy aside, she immediately opens up The Richmond Rag. Her eyes skim the page and she immediately gasps, tossing the paper at Roy, "Read this."

"Fucking hell," he mumbles, wiping his mouth and picking up the paper, "I don't care about gossip."

"You'll care about it today. Read it," Clara presses her brother, pointing at the paper.

Roy sighs and he reads the paper. Clara watches her brother in anticipation.

Dear Readers,

It seems we may be hearing wedding bells by the end of the season. My sources tell me that our recently arrived Mister Jeffrey Goodman is looking to court newly debuted Miss Y/N L/N. However, other sources have told me that another is interested in our young debutant. Who, you may ask? None other than our resident viscount, Lord Roy Kent. Now, in my honest opinion, I am not sure how much of a match Lord Kent and Miss L/N is compared to herself and Mister Goodman, but we shall sit in anticipation if Miss L/N will accept Mister Goodman's courtship.

Roy's jaw clenches and he sets the paper aside. Phoebe asks, "What does it say, Uncle Roy?"

"Shut up and eat your food," Roy grumbles.

Clara rolls her eyes, "Roy."

"I don't want to talk about it," he murmurs, going back to his food.

"Maybe you should talk to Y/N and see-"

Roy abruptly stands from his seat, "Fuck this," he says before walking out of the dining room.

_____________________

Your mother was squealing in delight to see that you and Jeffrey were mentioned in The Richmond Rag, especially the fact that Jeffrey was thinking about officially courting you. You're not sure how you felt about it, honestly. Sure, he's funny and makes great company, but you don't know if you could see yourself falling in love with him, let alone if he'd be a good husband or not. But then again, you don't have many options. You're already much older than many debutants. Many men wanting a younger wife than yourself. You don't have much room to be picky now.

"Mama, isn't that just all gossip? I'm not even sure if Jeffrey is still interested in me. I saw him dancing with other women at the ball last night. He seemed to enjoy their company."

She waves off your skepticism, "It's best to be hopeful. Anyway, we need to pick up your new dress for the next ball." She stands with a sense of urgency, gesturing you to quickly follow her. She then calls for your father who emerges from the kitchen with Cece in tow.

"Yes, my love?"

"Y/N and I will be picking up her dress," your mother answers then she looks at Cece, "Would you like to come along darling?"

"Can I go to Phoebe's?"

"I'm not sure if they're busy today, but we can see," your mother replies and Cece excuses herself to grab one of her dolls.

You smile at your excited cousin, "She acts like she didn't see her two days ago."

"You know how hard it's been since your aunt and uncle's passing," your mother whispers and you nod.

"I'm ready!" Cece rushes back the stairs to you and your mother. Your father escorts the three of you out and to the carriage.

When you arrive to Lord Kent's estate you take a deep breath. You follow your mother and cousin to the door. One of the servants bows to you three and goes to announce your arrival.

A moment later, you hear squealing and Phoebe is rushing towards Cece. She takes Cece's hand and they're immediately off somewhere else in the house.

Clara emerges with a chuckle, "Mrs. L/N, Y/N, wonderful to see you again."

You curtsey, "Good afternoon, Clara. I hope we weren't disturbing any plans you had for the day. We're off to town and Cece asked to pass by."

"Nonsense, Cece is welcome here whenever. You should know that by now." Clara then asks your mother about the plans for the day and as they talk, you feel eyes on you. You look up to see Lord Kent staring down at you. There doesn't seem to be any emotion behind his eyes.

You give a small curtsey and he replies with a curt nod. You two continue to stare at each other until he turns and walks away. You let out deep breath.

"Well, we best be off. We will be back in two hours to pick up Cece."

"Would you like to have lunch with us when you do?"

"That would be delightful. Thank you so much, Clara." your mother says with a beaming smile.

Once back into the carriage you groan, "Why did you accept lunch with them?!"

Your mother scoffs, "Just because you have some animosity towards Lord Kent, doesn't mean we still can't socialize with them. Besides, you'll have to accept that Lord Kent will be in your life seeing how Cece and Phoebe may be attached to the hip forever."

"Lovely," you grumble, slumping against the bench in the carriage.

____________________

At the modiste, you're trying on your dress one last time to make sure it's to your liking. You give a little spin on the raised platform then look at yourself in the mirror, "I think this is my new favorite dress, Charlotte!"

The older woman clapped her hands together, "Thank you, miss! I'm honored that you love it as much as I do!"

Your mother nods, "Yes, I think this color suits-"

The bell above the door rings and you all turn to see Lord Kent standing there with a surprised expression on his face.

He cleared his throat and gives a nod, "Ladies, pardon me. I didn't mean to intrude."

Charlotte moves to stand before him, "Hello, Lord Kent! How may I help you?"

He doesn't answer because his eyes are on you. You know this, you can feel him looking at you, but you try not to give him any mind. Rather, you look at yourself in the mirror making sure the dress is flattering in all angles.

Your mother smirks and speaks up, "Lord Kent! Wonderful, I think a man's perspective would be helpful," she loops her arm around his and tugs him closer to you, "Tell me, do you think this dress is flattering for my daughter? I've heard that it's Mister Goodman's favorite color."

You're mentally cursing your mother at this moment.

"Yes, it suits her well, but not as well as pink, ma'am."

"Pink, my Lord?"

"It brings out the color of her eyes," he says this and it causes you to look at him through the reflection of the mirror. He's doing it again, staring at you, but this time, emotion in his eyes. Unlike before. There's something there you can't quite read.

"Hmm...I suppose that will be the color of the next dress we'll request. Anyway, dear, did you need Charlotte's help?"

He breaks his gaze away from you and turns to the dressmaker, "Yes, sorry. My sister would like the same style dress as she previously ordered, but in navy blue."

Charlotte is writing down Clara's request, "Yes, I have a few fabrics of that color. If you could please tell your sister to come by to pick out which fabric she prefers, that would be most helpful, my Lord."

"Of course," he nods to you three, "Enjoy the rest of your day, ladies."

With that, he exits the shop and you frown at your mother, "Stop it."

"I didn't do anything."

"You and I both know that's a lie. If he was interested, he would've done something by now. He hasn't. There's no chance of us being together, so, please, mother, let it go." you step down from the platform and move to the back of the room to change out of your dress.

_____________________

Two days later, you're at a ball hosted by the Bartletts. Their own daughter, Eliza, had debuted as well and she's gotten many men interested for her hand already.

So far, you have two names on your dance card, Jamie and Jeffrey. Jamie's name once, and Jeffrey's twice. You're not too bothered by it. All of the attention is and should be on Eliza tonight.

"Jeff and I could always fill up your dance card," Jamie says as he sees you glance at your dance card.

You shake your head with a snort, "No, it's okay. It's best I stay in the shadows. If the author of The Richmond Rag sees me dancing with you two too much, I'm sure I'll end up being mentioned in their next publication."

Jeffrey smirks, "So you've read what they've said about us?"

"Not necessarily. I don't care for the gossip too much, but my mother does. She tells me about it."

"So what are your thoughts on our potential co-"

"Miss Y/N," Jeffrey is interrupted by Lord Kent.

"Lord Kent, good evening," you curtsey and Keeley follows. Jamie just nods, but Jeffrey bows.

"May I add my name to your card?" he gestures to the slip of paper on your wrist.

"O-Oh, um, if you'd like," you hand him the card and pencil. He scribbles his name and hands it back to you. He walks away without another word.

Before you can even look at the card, Keeley snatches it from your hand.

"Keeley!" you try to grab it from her but Jamie stands between you and her, "What is it, love?" Jamie asks.

Keeley smirks and hands him the card, "Lord Kent wrote his name down on the rest of the spots."

"What?!" you push Jamie to the side and grab the card, looking down at it, "Oh that bas-"

"So much for staying in the shadows. That'll guarantee your name in the Rag for sure," Jamie says with a snicker.

Jeffrey looks displeased and annoyed, "Are you really going to dance with him the entire time?"

"I-wouldn't it be rude if I didn't?"

Jeffrey frowns, "I thought you didn't like him."

"We're not very...amicable, but I'd say I...tolerate him?"

"Hm," Jeffrey doesn't seem to like your answer and excuses himself for a drink.

Jamie whistles, "He don't look too happy, darling."

For the first dance, Jeffrey doesn't appear to dance with you, so you just don't dance. The next dance, Jamie does his best to keep you cheerful. The next dance, Jeffrey still doesn't make his presence known to you. When it's time for the waltz, Lord Kent appears, his palm stretched out to you.

You take it as he leads you to the middle of the room. In your peripherals, you see Jeffrey bringing another woman to the floor. Your jaw clenches and you look away. Lord Kent, seeing this, scoffs and murmurs, "Prick."

You shake your head and look at Lord Kent, "It's your fault you know, putting yourself down on the remainder of my dance card."

"It didn't seem like anyone else was going to put their name down."

You scoff, "So what, you did it out of pity? I don't need your pity or sympathy from you, my Lord." You don't care that you were in the middle of a dance, you promptly turn your back and walk straight out of that ballroom, cursing Lord Kent's name.

[positivelybeastly]

What does beast sound like in your head when you read?

So, I go back and forth on this, and it does sort of vary depending on the verse I'm writing and what era I'm reading? Some verses, I don't have voices locked in for, others I do.

Verse: hated and feared (aka X-Men '97)

He's George Buza. He just is. George is a perfect voice for this era of Hank, mature and reasonable and kind and compassionate, a stalwart of the team. I wouldn't change this voice for the world. I also feel like every time people tell me that they can hear Beast's voice when I write him, this is the voice people hear - which is great, honestly, I take it as the highest form of flattery. If I had to pick a single voice for people to think of when they read Hank's dialogue, this is the one I'd pick!

That being said, it's not the voice I hear unless I'm writing this verse - it's a very specific voice, and TAS/'97 Beast, while near and dear to my heart, isn't the Hank I know most intimately or best. Comics Hank is always who I reach for first, and comics Hank doesn't quite sound like this, apart from that stretch from '91 to 2000 that inspired TAS.

verse: getting by (2013-2018)

I have a headcanon that Hank's voice changes every time he mutates, so I like to think that he doesn't sound the same through every form. I think this form's emotional baggage and tiredness and self-ruminating lends him to something a little less centred, and a little less emotive - so I always hear (and occasionally faceclaim him) William Petersen, who you might know better as CSI: Las Vegas' Gil Grissom. Especially at 0:19. I can hear so much Hank there.

verse: another time and another place (aka Dark Beast)

I know that, logically, he should have the same voice as classic Hank, but I honestly hear a lot more of a Jeremy Irons style voice for Dark Beast. He's just a conniving little fuck, and he's almost always portrayed as a schemer, as having that sleazy, 'telling you what you want to hear' air to him, which comes through a lot more here. I also feel as though, given he's 20 years older than Hank (relatively speaking), he should sound older.

verse: earth's mightiest! (aka Classic Beast)

This one was tricky, honestly, because he's so different to all the other Hanks, and yet so intrinsic to all of them. It's (maybe) the closest to who Hank actually is, when he's not performing or buried under trauma or changed so completely by time, so what does he sound like?

And . . . he sounds like Tom Lehrer. He has the intelligence, the wit, the humour, he sings? He's perfect.

verse: default (feline Hank)

This is the one I struggled with most, because he's the nearest and dearest to my heart, and thus it's important he sounds right. He should be able to sound low and guttural and growly, but he should also be refined and funny and able to turn a phrase like nobody's business. I feel like there should be a faint unnatural reverberation to his voice at almost all times, a feeling that he isn't speaking with a voice box that's wholly human.

Now, Fred Tatasciore, who voices Hank in the X-Men Anime, which is one of the few adaptations of this version of Hank, does, I'd say, an admirable job? He voices Hank in a few projects. He's very good, but he's not quite perfect, imo.

Nah, for me? The perfect Hank voice . . . is Jeffrey Wright.

Tell me you can't hear it.

[comicaurora]

there's a tl;dr at the end if you're a coward who's too scared to read my glorious essay

wassup my name is destruktow i got in an argument with tumblr user flishthedragon (over discord) on the topic of aurora being an isekai (we were watching anime (they made me watch serial experiment lain (it was decent but i am too stupid for it)) and i brought up isekai) and i am convinced you bastards in the notes of when they posted my ramblings have no clue what an isekai is because an isekai is not defined by said isekai guy previously existing in the "real" world (despite that making up the majority of isekai stories) and let me tell you that i Have Not read past like the big robot thing (despite tumblr user flishthedragon being very adamant that i do so) so i have no clue if this still holds up to canon but as of right now we have no confirmation as to where jeffrey (canon name kendal i think but i call him jeffrey due to him looking like a jeffrey) originated from outside of "yeah jeffrey is like. this dude's empty body becoming sentient" which is bullshit so even by the bad definition everyone in the notes was pushing it's still not confirmed to not be an isekai and

*i pause to take a breath. as i breathe, you glance at my shirt. it has an image of popular comic strip character Garfield along with his adopted sibling/punching bag Odie and sugar daddy Jon Arbuckle. you appreciate said shirt*

also is space jam an isekai? it's absolutely an isekai dude lmao i love space jam that movie's great

okay back on topic so isekai originates from ancient japanese literature such as the story of Urashima Tarō, fisherman guy who saved a turtle and got to go to fishland for a week (my apologies to the urashima tarō fans out there my only exposure to this man is that they put him in battle cats and that was pretty cool, he's a decent black/angel tank that manages to not be outclassed by ramen and nono) and holy shit look at that you don't have to die to be isekai (no one was saying this but at least two of you were thinking it don't lie) and while reincarnation stories are not inherently isekai they can be viewed as isekai stories in certain contexts and those stay in the same world that's crazy

omniscient reader is also an isekai btw (if you finish it it's actually not but if you don't read like 500 chapters you can't prove me wrong and if you do i get someone to talk to about omniscient reader)

so obviously jeffrey exists (was summoned (technically)) for the purposes of getting vaush (that's not his name but it sounds like vaush and i used to be a vaush fan so we're going with it)'s soul back (has a goal given to him by a god) and he gets a companion (whether she is hot or not may depend on your taste and/or sexuality. me personally she is not hot) and he has big fucked up powers (real) BUT he keeps the memories of the previous host! wow! but screw you that's also an isekai thing i'm reading trash of the count's family and it does that (you suck stop typing stop trying to disprove me it won't work) and his existence prior, as i have mentioned, is disputable (he may or may not have existed. retaining your memories from previous life is not necessary) and his journey is fucking identical to various other isekai franchises you learn how shit works alongside him that's how isekai works you doubters in the notes

tl;dr: you can't prove it's not an isekai (author please do not confirm/deny it becomes much less funny if you do so) and it's infinitely easier to think of it as a typical isekai with all the isekai tropes so gg ez i win

[elapsed-spiral]

Pre-season 2 OFMD fic list

It's less than two weeks till we get our ships wrecked, so here's my (presumably) final pre-season 2 fic list. Have a read if you wanna pass the improbably long days before the season premieres!

This list got out of control so I added some handy symbols: 🎧 = podfic available 💜 = personal favourite ⭐ = fics you may have heard about? I don’t know, I don’t have a sense for this stuff.

Cool collaboration(s) you should read immediately:

🎧💜Work Experience: what if Ed went to meet Stede when the Revenge ran aground? And what if Ed became a member of Stede’s crew? And what if things kept escalating and… Canon AU. Mature. Co-written with Shearwater.

Really no excuse for how stupid these ones are:

Watch Out, Here I Come: what if Stede had been intentionally seducing Ed? Teen

Once More, With Feeling: what if Frenchie just fixed the season 1 finale fiasco because he’s the most capable guy on the ship? Teen

Talent Show: what if Ed was crass about his sexual preferences? Explicit

Capsize on Your Thighs: what if Ed rebounded onto Calico Jack at the end of season 1? Ed/CJ and Ed/Stede (but Ed/Stede is endgame, natch). Explicit

🎧💜Your Feedback is Important to Us: what if Stede started holding open cabin hours to allow the crew to air their grievances (but was also very repressed and horny over Ed)? Explicit

Oh no Ed’s working through gender/class stuff (but make it funny):

Finery: Ed gets to wear a dress, Stede spontaneously combusts. Explicit

Tell More Tales: Stede isn’t the only writer aboard the Revenge. Explicit

🎧💜Lovers and Madmen: Ed is hellbent on marrying Stede. Explici

🎧 Save the Date: Ed 'attends' a wedding. Unfortunately, so does Stede. Short S2 alternative reunion fic. Teen

AUs no-one asked for:

Novel/novella length

🎧💜Restructuring: modern AU where Stede loses his fortune before meeting Ed, but Ed’s still got more money than you can shake a fucking stick at. Only problem is, Stede lies and says he’s wealthy and Ed lies and says he isn’t. Like the show, it’s a romcom about trauma. Explicit

🎧💜⭐Baddy Zaddy: Bridget Jones’s Diary style, former porn star turned sex shop owner!Ed/still unfortunately landed gentry!Stede. Novel length modern AU. Explicit

💜⭐Prize Every Time: You’ve Got Mail-y secret pen pals but also business rivals. Novel length modern AU. Explicit

Conflict of Interest: lawyer!Stede/businessman!Ed (read: gangster). Modern AU. Explicit

Shorter uns

Intergalactic Tango: Space Waltz AU. Mature

🎧💜Trade Descriptions Act: bailiff!Ed/estate agent!Stede. Identity theft but make it meet cute. Modern AU. Teen

Your Favourite Song: locksmith!Ed/museum curator!Stede. Kinktober fill that somehow isn’t E rated. Modern AU. Teen

⭐Draft Letter to Restaurant Downstairs: Google Docs AU with a (slightly) interactive element. Modern SMAU. Teen

Blind Date: Stede and Jeffrey Fettering go on a blind date at Ed’s restaurant. I think you know where this is going. Modern AU. Explicit

Different Dimension: ficlet that crams four and a bit AUs into 850 words. Modern AU. Teen

Stuck Still: British holiday resort AU feat. events manager!Stede and bartender turned fairy!Ed (it makes sense in the story I swear). Modern AU. Explicit

💜On the Job: “kidnapping” meet cute (but not actually. Again, I swear it makes sense in the story I swear). Modern AU. Explicit

Starring Jason Statham: another weird meet cute, courtesy of Jack and the Fast and Furious franchise. Stede/Jack, Ed/Jack and Ed/Stede (Ed/Stede is once again end game). Modern AU. Teen

West Ham Is for Lovers: Lucius has a new job. It’s going fine. Completely, totally fine. A meet cute fic about meet cutes. Ed/Stede but also Lucius/Pete, Lucius/Fang, Lucius/Izzy and Lucius/Olu/Jim. Modern AU. Teen

💜Conventional: back in the 00s, Ed was in a very famous movie franchise. Nowadays, he does the convention circuit. Modern AU. Explicit

🎧💜Proud: Ed attends Pride to get free mum hugs, Stede attends Pride to give free dad hugs. Modern AU. Teen

KrakenAir: Stede and the crew are heading to Benidorm to celebrate Stede coming out. That is, if Stede’s all expenses spared KrakenAir flight ever departs. Modern SMAU. Teen

Very Poor, Becoming Good: aspiring Gentleman Backpacker Stede Bonnet is adventure bound when he meets fellow traveller Ed Teach at an empty hostel. Now if they could just find the owner… Modern AU. Explicit

💜Stolen by the Gentleman Thief: Ed is a lonely gay guy in his late forties whose favourite book is historical softcore porn. Luckily, there’s a weird meet cute about to happen. Modern AU. Explicit

Live Sex Show: Columnist Ed Teach recommends that Stede Bonnet shake up his monotonous life by doing something weird. Modern AU. Teen

💜Continue Making Progress: Kraken Driving School has a terrible new student. Luckily, Ed and Stede both have a lot to offer one another. Modern AU. Explicit

Oh no there’s been a containment breach (aka non-Blackbonnet fics):

💜We Do What We Like (and We Like What We Do): a brief history of Ed and Jack. Explicit (Ed/CJ)

Fealty: Stede and Izzy make one another even more miserable. Mature (Stede/Izzy)

💜Contra Proferentem: Ed is a high powered lawyer and Professor of Law at the University of Cambridge. Lucius is not a high powered lawyer but he is a lecturer of English Lit at the University of Cambridge. Stede own a very nice cafe. Explicit (platonic Ed/Lucius, Ed/Stede, no cheating involved)

[electronickingdomfox]

"Bloodthirst" review

It's Resident Evil, but the zombies are vampires!!

Novel from 1987, by J. M. Dillard. Kind of a retread of her previous novel ("Demons"), but substituting demonic possesion with vampires. Of course, there's nothing supernatural going on, but a scientific explanation behind everything. I found it less scary than the previous entry, though it's in the same spirit of horror story, this time with a political background as well.

The initial setting is intriguing, even though it's fairly obvious what's going on and who are the villains, from the earliest chapters. The ending is also exciting, and reminded me of an actual TOS episode. The problem is the rest of the novel, and by that I mean like 90%. I had the impression of reading chapter after chapter of barely anything but filler. Kirk does little more than talking through the terminal with this or that. McCoy does little more than telling Kirk "they're close to find a vaccine" and fretting over Chapel's sickness. Spock does... nothing, really. The fact that the story was extended artificially to a breaking point is obvious by the fact it takes the crew SEVERAL DAYS to find an intruder in the ship (an intruder who wears a red cape, is sick and insane, and screams in pain every time light touches him). This with a crew of more than 400 persons, and with the full security team activated at all times (what the hell!?).

To add more padding to it, there are lengthy scenes focused on a group of redshirts. Now I don't have a problem with original characters having their spotlight if they're interesting and play some role. But these guys just reflect about their High School dramas, and they don't have a distinct role compared to any other redshirt: that is, being attacked and suffer a lot. The other characters are a mixed bag. The most interesting is probably Adams, the "vampire", and the passages that follow his sinister deeds are the only ones that keep the plot moving, in that stale middle section. Kirk is serviceable. In particular his friendship with Admiral Quince felt like the real thing. And he gets to do some of his cunning negotiations at the end. McCoy on the other hand... Look, this author makes him funny on occassion, but in my opinion, she has a REALLY odd idea of the character. From the "dirty old man" trait, to his clumsiness and cowardice. The guy who would offer himself for torture in "The Empath" is here scared shitless at the prospect of it (well, he's scared of dark corridors too, so...). Fortunately, there's no Mary Sue on sight this time. Unfortunately, there's still the obligatory romance "out-of-left-field" for McCoy, that this author seems so fond of. This time in the shape of... Christine Chapel??? We're suppossed to believe that she's not just the closest person to McCoy (closer even than Kirk!), but that all this time, they've been repressing romantic feelings for each other. And that Chapel isn't really attracted to Spock, but only chose him because he'd never return her feelings... Yeah, weeell, how about... NO.

Other random weird bits: Nobody knows what a vampire is in the 23rd century (only Chekov has heard about this legend, that had survived for hundreds of years so far). And a crippled Enterprise can only manage to go at warp 9! (c'mon Scotty, I'm sure you can do better than this shitty, fast-as-fuck warp 9 speed...). Spoilers under the cut:

The Enterprise receives a distress signal from a scientific station at planet Tanis, but upon beaming down, they just find a deserted lab, two dead scientists missing most of their blood, and a single survivor: Dr. Jeffrey Adams. Adams looks gaunt and is obviously suffering some kind of disease that makes light painful for him. He's brought to sickbay, and needs continous blood transfusions to survive. But when Kirk interrogates him, suspecting the scientists were doing illegal research on biowarfare, Adams says they were just working on agricultural projects and that the other two commited suicide. Nonetheless, the evidence at the station points to Adams as the murderer, and it seems he had drunk the blood of the victims too. The fact that Admiral Rodrigo Mendez, head of weapons research, is awfully interested in destroying any trace of the virus, and quickly bringing Adams to trial, makes it all the more suspicious. However, the landing party is unable to recover any sample of a virus at the station, and records had been destroyed, so the Enterprise starts travelling to the nearest starbase.

After being informed of this, Adams accuses Mendez of being the mastermind behind the virus development, and begs Kirk to not surrender him to Mendez, since the admiral wants to kill him. Kirk is unwilling to believe at first that Mendez, or any other top brass at Starfleet, would be involved in such deadly project. Besides, upon learning that one of the dead researchers was Mendez's son, he dismisses the admiral's behavior as natural resentment. Nonetheless, Kirk contacts his friend, Admiral Quince Waverleigh, at Starfleet HQ, to see if he can unearth some dirty laundry among the top brass.

Meanwhile, Adams attempts an escape from his isolation chamber at sickbay, and injures Chapel, drinking some blood from her head wound. Adams doesn't go far under the light. But Chapel has contracted the disease, which is contagious upon contact, and slowly slips into a coma. In the end, McCoy realizes that Chapel has died, and disconnects life support. And there's a lot of drama about this, but since the reader can probably guess where this is leading to, and what the solution will be, the scene doesn't have all that much impact. Apart from this, Spock has recovered some info from the fragmentary records at the station, that tell about a Vulcan researcher who had also died at an earlier point. This suggests that there was, in fact, two versions of the virus: a first one that was deadly to Vulcans (and thus, Romulans too), and the current mutation (probably accidental) which is deadly to humans. This deepens Spock's suspicions about Mendez, since he had lost his wife in a Romulan attack.

Once in the starbase, Adams is brought to a detention cell, which he promptly escapes again, this time more successfully. First, he attacks a guard and steals her red cape, to better protect himself from the light, as well as a device that blocks tricorder readings. After this, Adams kidnaps Lisa (a redshirt on shore leave), and forces her to ask for a beam up directly to her quarters in the Enterprise, where he also attacks her and drinks her blood. And then comes a loooong period where everyone is searching frantically for Adams throughout the ship. And yeah, he can block tricorders, but it's not like he's invisible or anything... He goes as far as entering sickbay and stealing transfusion equipment to draw more blood! (his next victim being Stanger, another redshirt).

For his part, Admiral Quince starts noticing strange things going around him, ever since he started investigating: sudden personnel transfers, tampering with his terminal, etc. He sends Kirk a quick anonymous message, to warn him that things are looking ugly. Yet Kirk is unable to reach him afterwards, and later is notified of Quince's sudden death in an "accident". This is the last straw that convinces Kirk of Mendez's guilt, alongside a small clique of corrupt admirals. So he decides to lure him to Tanis and catch him red-handed there, with a bluff: he tells him that Adams has been captured and has spilled the beans about the R-virus (the incriminating Romulan strain), and that they have found the evidence at Tanis.

At sickbay, Ensign Stanger wakes up from the dead after having been infected. And even though he shows some early signs of "vampirism", his good side wins in the end, and he's able to protect his friend Lisa and capture Adams (at long last!). McCoy has also developed an effective vaccine, that he administers to the whole crew and Chapel, who's also waking up from the dead (but strangely enough, much slower than Stanger?). The modus operandi of the virus is thus revealed: at first, it sends the host into apparent death (actually, hybernation) while it consumes the bloodstream's heme; once the host is depleted of heme, he wakes up and starts craving blood and infecting others. (But I don't know, as a bioweapon, it doesn't seem so effective to me...).

In the final chapters, Spock and McCoy beam down to Tanis and confront Mendez, who demands the samples of the R-virus (which they actually don't have). But just then, a transporter beam captures them and they appear in a Romulan ship. As it turns out, Adams had contacted the Romulans, promising them the samples of both virus in exchange for his freedom. Kirk forces Adams to cooperate by refusing to give him the cure, until he tells them where's the R-virus, so Adams confesses: the original R-virus had been hidden all this time inside a locket that he wore around his neck. The Romulan commander threatens Kirk, saying that he'll kill Spock and McCoy if he doesn't surrender Adams. Yet Kirk tries to negotiate with him and buy time, now that he has the only sample in his hands, though the Romulan doesn't agree to destroy the sample. However, Spock, McCoy and Mendez had managed to escape from their cells in the meantime. And after a run through the enemy ship stunning Romulans (with McCoy closing his eyes every time he has to shoot, the poor devil), they manage to lower the shields and beam themselves to the Enterprise, which promptly warps away. In the transporter room, Mendez makes a last, desperate attempt to escape with Adams and the sample. But Spock tricks him into confessing everything, and then Kirk informs him that he's been monitored, and now Starfleet knows everything about his involvement in the illegal research. In the epilogue, Kirk reflects about his lost friend Quince. And there's a moving scene where he receives a posthumous gift, with a last message from his friend, telling him to not feel guilt about his death.

Spirk Meter: 0/10*. Kirk and Spock barely exchange a couple of lines throughout the novel.

There isn't a lot either in other departments. Spock and McCoy don't seem to like each other much, though McCoy asks Spock for company while disconnecting Chapel from life support. Though it's hard to read that as Spock/McCoy, when it's evident that McCoy's full concern is for Chapel in this book. Maybe, maaaaybe, one could read some McKirk in the final scene, when McCoy drinks with Kirk in his quarters and comforts him about Quince's death. But at this point, that's like begging for crumbs.

*A 10 in this scale is the most obvious spirk moments in TOS. Think of the back massage, "You make me believe in miracles", or "Amok Time" for example.

tagged: @bonez-artistry

[thewiglesswonder]

For the character breakdown:

TFA Lugnut

TFP Ratchet

G1 Soundwave

TFA Lugnut

How I feel about this character

I think he's pretty great. He's a very solid addition to Decepticon High Command, he brings a very unique kind of... counterpoint vibe to the dynamic as a whole. He's entertaining, packs a hell of a punch, he's married, and has a genuinely nice, interesting design. His voice is also very satisfying to listen to, but that's just me.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Strika has exclusive rights to this spot. What a woman. She and Lugnut make up the only canonically conjuxed Cybertronians, both factions included, in Animated's canon, and to me, that means that they're so incredibly in love it would kill a lesser man.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Him and Blitzwing are besties and I will die on this hill.

My unpopular opinion about this character

Hm... personally, I can't really see his devotion to Megatron verging into the romantic. I think that it's far too hero-worship-y/"he's the embodiment of The Cause" to really go in that direction.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

Tying in to the point two slots up, I desperately wish he and Strika had some shared screentime. I want to see this mech be the wifeguy we all know him to be.

Rest under the cut!

TFP Ratchet

How I feel about this character

He's alright! I really love Jeffrey Combs' voice work as him, he plays several really interesting roles throughout the course of Prime, he's a solid character.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

I am a sucker for TFP OptiRatch. It's really interesting how Ratchet kind of fulfills on the Autobot side the role Soundwave has, as the "oldest friend" of their faction's respective leader. You can take them in the sweet direction, or into angst-filled pining territory as Ratch has to just watch his closest friend obsess over a mech he can't change. Also, obligatory mention for Wheeljack (you know the scene I'm talking about).

My non-romantic OTP for this character

I think the way he slowly grows to care for the kids of Prime is great. I think he and June would have some great chats over coffee/energon.

My unpopular opinion about this character

Prime's not really my forte, I don't believe I have one? I do think the "party ambulance" joke is pretty funny, even though that's the opposite of an unpopular opinion.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

I want him to argue with Knock Out about medical practices. I just want him to.

G1 Soundwave

How I feel about this character

The Original Dude. That Bitch. Father of the Year. Cunty. Smart. So undeniably eighties that he's plagued the franchise with ways to update his design for decades. He's great.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Nnnot many, but I did read a very funny MegaSound fic involving these two goofs recently.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

I think the constant tension between Soundwave's hyperconfidence and genuine loyalty and Starscream's insane, desperate attempts to kill Megatron make for a very humorous dynamic.

My unpopular opinion about this character

Once again, don't think I have one, so I'll just tell you that I love the way they lean into the musical element of Soundwave here. He has to have his hobbies!

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

I'm not all that familiar with the exact goings-on of G1, but I think it might be funny if he took up a long-term undercover mission as someone's boombox.

[daily-crowley]

TELL ME ABT YOUR OTHER HYPERFIXATIONS!! Mine are currently Loki, ofmd, good omens, and Hozier :D

THANK YOU FOR ASKING, THIS IS GOING TO BE LONG!

There’s a few hyperfixations of mine I’m always talking about but right now there’s 3 main ones.

1. The Boys

2. Invincible

3. Peacemaker

The Boys is the main one; I loved it since it came out back in 2019. I moved on sometime after S3 ended and I found another hyperfixation but now new content is coming out with S4 so I’m back on my The Boys bullshit. I’m a Butchlander shipper, BILLY BUTCHER AND HOMELANDER CONSUME MY THOUGHTS. I AM BEYOND OBSESSED WITH THOSE TWO! I need them to kiss…. And-and more. Anthony Starr and Karl Urban are my current celebrity crushes that I’m only able to think about. If you follow me in insta it’s just been The Boys 24/7 that I’ve talked about since new content started dropping thanks to S4. HOMELANDER IS MY BABYGIRL I WILL DEFEND HIM I DON’T CARE FOR HIS CRIMES I DON’T CARE IF I’M SUPPOSE TO HATE HIM, I LOVE HIM. BILLY BUTCHER MY GOTH BOYFRIEND I WILL DIE IF YOU DIE. HE CANT DIE, HE JUST CAN’T. S4 teaser was insane, so much was going on, Black Noir is back?! And Jeffrey Dean Morgan is joining the cast! AND TEAMING UP WITH BUTCHER?! They said that trailer was just a scratch on the surface of what happens, wasn’t even a trailer just a teaser but it had so much going on WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT’T JUST A SMALL TASTE OF S4?! I’m scared but excited. I’m nervous but excited (Billy if you fucking die on me- that’s what I’m most worried about)

Invincible is my other current hyperfixation, S1 was so good and I can’t wait for S2 to continue. They should’ve dropped all the episodes at once that way I don’t have to wait but whatever. Vigilante is my little meow meow from Peacemaker. I love Adrian so much, hate that I gotta wait till like 2025-2026 for S2 possibly.

My other interests that I talk about all the time (not currently much though thanks to The Boys) are:

• NATM/JedTavius

• Venom/SymBrock

• SamBucky/Marvel in general

• FNAF

• Who Framed Roger Rabbit

• Maleficent

• The Simpsons

Night at The Museum came out when I was 7, I’m 24 now, I haven’t moved on. It was my first hyperfixation and ship before I even knew what that all meant. I’ve written like 30 JedTavius fics. I’m a Venom fan first and a Spider-Man hater second. I will defend Venom at all times and Eddie and him are definitely in love. When the FNAF film came out it brought me back to my FNAF phase, Foxy’s my favourite with Bonnie being second. I watched the film about 20 times. Then in November I started a personal rewatch challenge on Insta where I watched it all month long. Meaning I’ve probably watched it at least 50 times and I still haven’t gotten sick of it (also I love the Josh Hutcherson whistle meme. I don’t care how much people hate it I think it’s funny.) I’m a huge Marvel fan, I literally grew up with the comics, I’m not kidding those were read to me as my bedtime stories. My favourite characters are Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes as a result I ship them. I never shipped Stucky, that never made sense to me whilst Sam and Bucky have so much chemistry. Sam Wilson is everything to me, I adore SamCap he’s MY Captain America (still love Steve though!) Roger Rabbit is my favourite fictional character of all time, my biggest comfort character. Growing up I really tried to base my personality off of him, the world might be obsessed with Jessica Rabbit but I’m obsessed with Roger. People need to draw, edit, and cosplay him as much as they do Jessica. I’ve been a huge Simpsons fan since I was like 10 and my mother dropped me off at my aunts house and she left leaving me alone with my cousin who was watching The Simpsons and it took off from there. Nelson Muntz is my funky little son and they need to make Nelisa canon. Maleficent is my favourite Disney character (actually like quite a bit of Disney, second favourite character being Donald Duck) I based a lot of my style around her, and I have a lot of Maleficent collectibles. I absolutely love the Angelina Jolie’s Maleficent films (totally ship her with Diaval).

There’s a few other things that I really, really love. I’m also a huge horror fan my favourite being Chucky/Child’s Play as well as Killer Klowns from Outer Space, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (not 3D), Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, etc. Sanrio, Kuromi is my favourite second is Pochacco, I really love animated films and cartoons. IT, Monster High, and more. I’m also a collector of all these things.

So there you have it. Those are all my hyperfixation and fandom’s that I’m in. Right now especially those first 3 that I talked about (seriously can you tell I really like The Boys? Lol)

[randomfoggytiger]

"You Don't Know the First Thing About Me"

(Fictober, Day 19)

******

When he was lamentably green, the truth was shut away-- trickled out only to desperate men and only in doses so small as to drive them further insane. He sat, he stood, and he listened, eagerly trying to fill in a patchwork of names and events, the past and the future.

Then he was assigned. Then he had a partner. 

Then they had the gall to wag a finger at him, wrestle him away from his first big break, and stuff him back into a dark closet somewhere until Bill Mulder’s death. 

All in all, Krycek wasn't sorry that his first round with the Syndicate ended with a car bomb and bitter feelings.

*****

Survival, Krycek decided, hinged on which truth you picked-- a lie to the world or a lie to yourself. He chose to fool the world, knowing they changed their truth every 3-5 business days, anyway. Weak, blind, close-minded drones who wanted their 'i's dotted, their 't's crossed, and their worldviews unchallenged by the widening realities of the universe. So, he played their game: caught and tossed back the ball they threw, showed them exactly what they wanted to see, told them exactly what they wanted to hear.

*****

What he learned in the Consortium’s charm school was to win friends and influence people. What he learned from his black-lunged superior was to carpe diem his way into any complication possible. What he hadn't quite learned on his own was how to get out of it. 

Single-minded Mulder, foolish old men, and out-of-touch aliens chased tails, circled each other, and howled at the moon day after day, year after year-- and had nothing to show for it. He was especially disappointed with the vastly narrow-minded scope of his former partner (Krycek had given up old ciggie Spender for loss years ago when he'd stuttered "thank you, yes, thank you" over the phone.) It took Mulder nearly four years to finally stop and listen when Krycek told him what no one else would-- “There is no truth, they just make it up as they go along"-- and by then Mulder didn't want to listen.

The Consortium really did pick ‘em. 

Krycek had to admit, though, that their microscopic self-indulgence had done one thing right. They’d created a woman as warm-blooded and cold hearted as himself and let her loose to wreak havoc on his life.

At the game table of allies and foes, Marita was the master: effective because she was impersonal, believable because she was polished. She’d paid him one compliment in their entire sorry acquaintance: dragged out of a train by Jeffrey Spender and into the getaway car by Krycek, Marita locked her sickly, tortured eyes on his and spat, “They'll die because they don't understand what we do.” He’d let the cryptic compliment slide-- it was probably an accurate though open-ended statement, after all-- but neither was sorry the rest of the ride was in silence.

******

Jeffrey Spender: one of those sudden plays of fate. Pushed in, given a job he hated, pushed back out; and when he resisted, Jeff got a bullet to the skull.

Apparently, not all the Syndicate had been crisped.

His loss.

Funny how Jeffy boy only fumbled around long enough to trade loyalties and die the hero's death. He didn't know the game, didn't care to learn the rules, and got cut out like a rookie.

Better to be a thrill-seeking fool than a virtuous one, Krycek reasoned: virtue grew out of a conscience; and a conscience was a fickle asset, liable to get you killed over the smallest twinge. So, he let the ethical humbugs have their fun fingerpainting with morality, watched them crawl over glass to prove that their tormented existence was bettered by a few lines they wouldn't cross. No need to go out of his way for any of them.

They always come crawling back.

*****

Thank you for reading~

Enjoy!

Tagging @today-in-fic and @xffictober2023, and @fictober-event

[everything-magic-sparkles]

The State with the Black Stain

—————————————

A horror-mystery fic

~Warnings~

Mentions of violence, scopophobia, uncanny valley, true crime, sexual content

—————————————

Your alarm goes off at 6:30am. You really don’t want to go to work, though it’s all you have to look forward to for the day. That is, if you want to keep food on the table. Your job, a 9-5 at a VHS store in Milwaukee Wisconsin. You had been working there for a couple of years now. It didn’t pay much, but that doesn’t matter when you live alone.

It wasn’t that difficult of a job, either; Restock the shelves, work the register, know the genres of movies, and where to find them. Check in on time and clock out appropriately. There wasn’t much to hate about it, but you did hate how late you’d get out sometimes. You didn’t live too far away, but you didn’t live in the nicest part of your neighborhood, so being out late at night made you nervous.

A lot of times you wouldn’t be doing any work at all, so you’d read the newspaper. What else were you supposed to do? After a while of reading, you started to notice that the headlines all had the same focus: disappearances.

Was there any explanation for all of the disappearances? No. All that law enforcement knew was that 17 had gone missing so far without any indication of where they could’ve gone. You wondered how that could happen in such a small town. But, it can happen anywhere, right?

It was slightly disturbing to hear about all those disappearances and made your nightly trips back home even worse than they were before. Eventually, though, your mind wandered elsewhere and was able to forget about it.

That was, until a particular customer gave rise to the notion all over again. In the worst way possible.

“will that be all, sir? Just this film right here?”

“Yeah that’s it. I have a coupon for it Lemme get it.”

The man dug through his pockets as he looked for the coupon, “Oh, by the way, have you heard about the disappearances lately?”

Oh boy. Here we go.

“Y-yes I have. Why?”

“Well you remember that guy that died all those years ago? I can’t remember his name. All I know is that…” he leaned in closer to you, “People think he’s still alive. You know, the Milwaukee Monster.”

The name sounded familiar to you.

“Oh yeah- uh… W-wasn’t he a cannibal, too?”

“Mhm.” The man said, “He killed a bunch of black men around here… They took down the apartment building, but I don’t trust it. Mm-Mm. Not for a second. This state has a bad mark on it…”

You shut your eyes tightly remembering what happened 30 years ago. His face was still plastered in your memory. “Have a good day, sir…”

That memory was enough to set your paranoia into full swing. That man was one of the worst serial killers in American History. Sure, he was dead, but that didn’t mean that Milwaukee was over the tragedy.

Instead of trying to forget about everything, you decided to do some digging to jog your memory. You remembered having an old box full of old newspapers and magazines in your house. Eventually you found what you were looking for; an old newspaper with the headline: Cannibal-killer: Jeffrey Dahmer confessed to 17 murders.

The name made your stomach churn. Amidst your nausea, however, you made the shocking connection that the number of disappearances lately had directly matched up with the number of the monster’s victims;

17.

Just as you made the horrible realization that something wasn’t right, your radio began to play on its own.

‘Babe, I love you so.’

The radio sang as you stormed over to shut it off,

‘I want you to know, that I am gonna miss your love, the minute you walk out that door.’

“This isn’t fucking funny…”

‘So please don’t go-‘

You shut the radio off. The song name showed on the display, ‘Please don’t go, by: KC & The Sunshine Band.’

“Goddammit. How am I supposed to get any sleep now?” You thought, heading to bed. Surprisingly, you were able to fall asleep. Not without conflict from your mind, of course.

No one could’ve been playing tricks on you. You lived alone. And why would they? You were a young man that worked at a VHS store who wasted half their money on buying cigarettes. That’s about as generic as you can get. Hiding in plain sight.

Your last customer of the night walked up to the register.

“Just this, please.”

The man handed you a copy of the movie ‘The Exorcist III.’ You cocked a brow at the title as you scanned it, knowing how gruesome it was.

“That’ll be ten…”

Something caught your eye.

“T-ten ninety nine…”

Your eyes were glued to what appeared to be a man’s face, staring at you from behind one of the shelves. A white face.

“Is something wrong?” The customer asked.

“N-no I just… it’s nothing.”

When you were done scanning the movie’s barcode, you slipped it into a bag and handed it to the man, to which he left.

Something told you that you needed to get the hell out of that store. So, you did. You went straight home and didn’t look back.

‘What the hell even was that?’ You thought, ‘Maybe that bastard’s ghost is running around here still. I know what I saw wasn’t a fucking person.’

You lock your doors and windows out of paranoia and try to head to bed. That is, until your radio plays again. The same damn song as the night before.

Now you really know something is fucking with you. You get up to go shut the radio off,

“Alright, where are you, shithead? Get the fuck out of my house! You’re not welcome here!”

The radio plays again and you continue to shut it off every time it turns back on. At this point you were completely defeated and terrified, but you didn’t want to leave. Inside there was better than out on the street. You slid down the wall of your living room and covered your face, about to cry.

Between your fingers and your tear-blurred vision, you see him. The white face you saw earlier, standing in the doorway, his eyes peering down at you.

“Fuck!” You yell and cover your face, shutting your eyes quickly.

As you do so, you hear footsteps getting closer to you.

‘I’m so dead I’m so dead I’m so dead’ your thoughts ran amuck. After a while there wasn’t any response. So you uncovered your eyes.

Big mistake.

There he was, standing right in front of you. Jeffrey Dahmer. His ghost, rather. You wondered how he could look so real, despite being dead.

“Wh-what the fuck do you want?” You squeaked out.

The man grinned, a sharp-toothed smile stretching across his face, “You.”

To be continued…