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Personal coach Red Hood
Idea by @impyssadobsessions where Jazz needs a personal trainer from a gotham hero and chooses red hood. Eventual ship content. This is more of a setting so far but i have ideas. I accept ideas too, im just balling
I'm going to try a more chill and lax posting with this bad boy. I feel like my rigid way of organizing is making me feel restricted so this will be 1000% vibes and let's see where it goes.
Part 2
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Jazz knew this was a stupid idea. Dangerous. Suicidal, maybe, depending on who would answer her call. But she still had to try.
You may be wondering how a twenty something young woman ends up following Gotham heroes around with a notepad. She wasn’t looking for an autograph, or for the latest scoop on the heroes, trying to uncover their secrets.
She was actually writing down their patterns and observations in behavior, trying to map their patrol routes and create a decent enough file and expectations of the heroes.
What did she need the information for?
She needed a personal trainer.
No, not the kind you hire at the gym. She already tried that and it didn’t work. She also tried MMA, and kickboxing and just to see if she could do it, Judo. All were interesting and gave her a pretty good picture of what her body was capable of, and a guesstimate of her physical limitations.
But no. She needed something else, something more… tailored for what she actually needed the training for.
She needed to intern with a hero. The term “sidekick” felt wrong for what she had in mind, since she didn’t want to be that hero’s trainee forever. Or was interested in the current superhero scene at all. They were doing just fine without her.
She just… she felt left out. Danny was amazing but he didn’t need her, not as much as she would have liked. He was a hero, and a pretty good one, but he wasn’t in any place to train her. Not that he wanted to, since he usually avoided her every time she brought it up.
Her baby brother was all grown up and he didn’t need his older sister anymore.
Jazz shook her head. She was being ridiculous. Danny would always need her — she just needed to do her homework and keep up with him on her own. If she just trained enough and could hold her own in ghost fights, she was sure Danny would be grateful and appreciate her support. Who knows, maybe he would be happy that he didn’t need to be wary of ghosts day and night, and actually rest and focus on his neglected studies.
She yawned, lamenting another night that looked to be a bust. Maybe the heroes were busy tonight? Maybe they were on a big mission away? Unlikely that all of them were away, there were usually at least a few of the Bats flying around the city.
Why Gotham, you may ask? Of all the funny-dressed crime fighters on Earth, why these people?
Easy.
They were human.
That piqued Jazz’s interest. She had been between the Arrows and the Bats, but finally chose the Bats because Gotham had one perk over Star City: unlimited supply of ectoplasm. The place was almost as coated in the thing as Amity, which she was grateful for. It saved her from going back and forth to places rich with ghost activity and fishing blobs to eat.
Don’t ask too many questions about the consuming blob ghosts part. It was a necessary evil.
However, it’s been a few months and all she got to show for her efforts was a notepad filled with scribbles she painstakingly copied to her computer and a lot of frustration.
Until one night she caught Red Hood alone as he checked his phone. She waited until he was done texting — she had manners thank you very much — and jumped in front of him before he had the chance to grapple away.
“Hi— oof.”
Thanks the ancients for her reflexes and Judo training, she blocked Hood's punch and following kick. It would probably bruise but it wasn't the end of the world.
“What the fuck?”
“Hi,” she tried again, “I'm Jazz.”
He didn't punch her again, which she took as a good sign. Instead, he took a step back and squared up like he was expecting a fight.
“I’m not looking for a fight,” he scoffed but let her continue speaking, “I’m looking for… I guess you’d call it a mentor? That sounds weird… A personal trainer? No, that’s wrong too. Hm, I wonder if there’s a word for ‘person who is the only one that can teach you very specific information in a field of interest that legally, or otherwise—’.”
Red Hood cleared his throat, making her jump.
“Are you for real?”
“Yeah? I am real.”
Hood looked at her in silence for a few moments. Then, he sighed and rubbed one gloved hand against his helmet.
“Listen, girl.”
“Jazz!”
“Jazz,” somehow she got the impression he grumbled, but the voice modulator did its job really well, “I have things to do, ok? Crimes to stop and stuff. So… yeah. Goodnight.”
He turned around and picked the grapple gun from inside his jacket.
“Wait!”
He jumped and misfired the gun, hitting the wall of the building instead of the roof, like he was supposed to. As the gun recalled the rope, he looked over his shoulder at her. Jazz understood he was glaring at her, she could feel the daggers on her skin.
“Hear me out, ok?” He didn’t move or said anything. “I need— I have tried hiring a trainer, at… back at the gym. You know? But that wasn’t enough. I think I need to train with an actual hero—”
“Listen,” the word was accompanied by the hook of the grapple clicking into place, “whatever it is you are looking for, you definitely are not going to find it with me. So. Scramble.”
He made a shooing gesture with one hand and aimed the gun without looking, shooting it and amazingly enough, hitting the edge of the rooftop. He made a salute as he was launched to the air at high speed.
Jazz didn’t follow, mesmerized by the skill. Hood landed with a flip and without breaking momentum, started running to the next rooftop, jumping impossible lengths. The way he moved was confident, powerful and measured.
She wanted to do that. She needed Red Hood to train her.
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#dpxdc#jazz/jason#jazz x jason#anger management ship#hardcover ship#dp x dc#personal coach au#<- tag for this fic#when i have a bunch ill polish and post in ao3
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HI @theosirianischosen!! sorry for the delay -- your prompts were just too good, unfortunately, and i got a little carried away as you can see 💀 i'll definitely be taking the "but what if that little expulsion moment actually had consequences?" thing and running with it, so i hope that this initial taste of where i'm going with this is satisfying for now!!
for everyone else: this is an AU of the back half of season 3 in which the governor has to be called in to settle the matter of the anubis five's looming expulsion, so not only are we going to have sinners running around, but investigators too. oh no! i've had a LOT of fun mapping out all the directions i can take this, so even if it may be a bit of a wait between updates, i will do my best to make it worth it!
belated merry christmas to all <3 and a big thank you to @house-of-secrets for organizing this exchange!! it's been a blast 🤩
#house of anubis#hoa#theosirianischosen#hoa secret santa 2022#hoa fanfic#my writing#alex lore#hoa tar pit#<- tag for this fic
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I was the prompter for your Kinkmeme medical fic.., so excited thank you so much! Lots very juicy
Ah thank you so much for the prompt! Feel free to drop any requests for drivers or kinks ;)
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Far worse, in my opinion, than the famous “he wouldn’t fucking say that” is “he WOULD fucking say that, as part of his facade, but you seem to think he would mean it genuinely”
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Y’all want Taylor Swift to be gay so bad but you won’t even write femslash about her
#I was curious so I looked it up 1038 fics on ao3 tagged Taylor Swift and f/f#like I’m not necessarily encouraging people to go out and write rpf#but it’s wild that arguably the biggest musical artist right now who has a huge community speculating about her sexuality has so little fic#like this isn’t a good or bad thing I just think it’s interesting#idk I’m not actually a swiftie like that#like I listen to her music and keep up generally with what she’s doing but I’m not really in the fandom#so there might be something I’m missing
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EVERY SINGLE DAY there are MILLIONS of characters in their late 20s who get falsely accused of being father figures to teenagers when in reality the description of "weird older cousin" or "step-sibling that moved out before you were born" is 1000000x more apt
#talk tag#IT KILLS ME. REIGEN IS NOT MOB'S DAD. HE HAS A DAD. INGO IS NOT AKARI'S DAD. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CAN ANYONE HEAR ME#(not even necessarily to say that ingo is in his late 20s but still)#(even if he was a 30-40-50 year old no matter how old he is no fucking teenager is gonna call some guy they met as a 15 year old ''dad'')#GAI IS NOT A FATHER FIGURE TO ROCK LEE HE WAS LIKE 13 WHEN HE WAS BORN! PLEASE!!!!!!!!#one time i saw that a person wrote a fic where mario was like a father figure to luigi.#they are TWIN BROTHERS.#not what this about but idk where else i can say anything about this.#just horrible#also sometimes someone is just An Older Friend like no familial relationship just a friend or acquaintance who is a lot older than you
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You know what?
I love you, fics that take months to update. I click on the newest chapter and have no memory of this place and get to go back some chapters and rediscover how much i love everything about this story.
I love you, fics that take years to update. I think of you fondly, and know your names, go search for you and see an update from this year and scream, diving in uncaring of any missed details (i will finish the update and read you in reverse because this is a treat you have bestowed)
I love you, fics that probably will never update again. Thank you for being a roman empire for my mind, thank you for teaching me about the ephemeral fandom experience, for inspiring a thousand million what if-s, for being a comfort read and a nostalgia read and a reread.
I love you fic writers, who jump into projects and stories with enthusiasm. I love you when you succeed in pumping out those chapters and that love doesn't go away when you stop.
I love you fic writers who post and then get in your own head and never feel confident enough to update, whether it's at all or whether it's just that one story.
I love you fic writers, who have a fandom or media hurt you to the point of abandoning or having a hard time with their WIPs.
I love you fic writers, who lose interest or have life changes or illness or bad memory. Thank you for being part of the fandom, a core part of the fandom. Thank you for the time spent in the fandom.
I love you, fic writers who try out something new and then stop. You're so valid.
I love you, WIP fics that may or may not ever get finished. Thank you for brightening my day in the way only you could have.
#fandom#fanfics#fanfiction#fanfic writers#wips#abandoned stories#a lot of people feel so much shame for this#but that's not for this post#we are celebrating the lifeblood of the fandom here#the pages and pages of fic#celebrating the passion projects of writers who do this for free#and if I see anyone in the tags saying “well actually” or “with the exception of” bullshit#vacation or not#i'm gonna not be happy
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this x simon “ghost” riley
cw!: praise, size kink, creampie, breeding kink, bulge, simon’s a nasty dog (and i tried to warn ya)
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simon never fails to remind you how much bigger he is than you.
you’re short? no problem, all those missing inches go to simon. oh wait you’re tall? whatever, he still towers over you.
are you chubby by society’s standards? just means there’s more for him to love. skinny? that’s okay too, he’s always down to eat whatever you can’t finish.
no matter what size or shape you are, it’s a guarantee that simon is still bigger than you. and he always manages to remind you of that in the bedroom.
his large hands around your waist, pounding into you with his thick cock. he obsesses over the bulge in your cute tummy from his size, practically drooling over the fact that he can’t even fit inside you’re pretty pussy all the way.
whether he’s fucking you doggy style or in a mating press, he will always tower over you. he makes sure you’re cum is on his fingers and his tongue alone before he shoves his meaty dick inside you; this man has the libido and stamina of a god.
“g’nna fuck this p’ssy so good, love. fill ya’ up to the brim,” he moans, his thrusts growing more erratic as he feels that familiar heat in his stomach.
you’re coming right along with him, seeing stars while he peppers kisses in your neck. “such a good girl f’r me, g’nna make the best mama.”
—————
um sorry didn’t mean to let out my inner whore
#writeblr#fanfic#call of duty#ao3#cod#fic writing#we're past the point of conversation#simon ghost riley#cod ghost#cod x reader#sonic the hedgehog#i don’t know why i put a sonic the hedgehog tag on this post but it felt fitting#crazy? i was crazy once#simon riley x reader#x yn#ghost cod#simon riley x you#simon ghost x reader#simon riley smut#nsft concept#breeding k1nk#did i lose aura guys#whor3#whoreposting#grrrrr
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we need all types of art in fandoms
#angst#fluff#fanfiction#ao3#fic writers#fix its#whump#what do I tag this as💀#fandom#good omens#loki series#legend of zelda#sherlock
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What in the fanfic hell is this?? 😂😂
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I love the idea of all the robins kinda being clones of each other with just a few differences and a concussed Bruce not being able to tell who he’s squinting at so he just says generic statements and avoids saying any names
Bruce (sitting at the breakfast table): so… how’s the weather… dick?
Jason (grinning): you do know I’m gonna hold this against you for like, the next 2 months right
Bruce: (groans into his hands)
Bruce (walking into the living room): hey have you read through the files I gave you yesterday?
Dick: (confused cause he took a day off to surprise Bruce) ?
Bruce: so?
Dick: er… no?
Bruce: Dick?? What are you doing here?
Bruce (walks into the kitchen with a fresh concussion): Jason? I thought you were on a mission with the outlaws?
Tim: (frozen through mid fridge raid, having assumed they were past Bruce calling him Jason since yk. He’s a shit brickhouse now and Tim is, well, obviously not): uh?
Bruce: *turns around and leaves*
Bruce: Oh hey Cass, when did you arrive from Babs’?
Damian: (slowly turns around in the black hoodie he’s wearing) we’re not even the same gender
Bruce: (under his breath) yeah but the same height
#batman#dc comics#dcu#batfam#dc robin#jason todd#batfamily#bruce wayne#dick grayson#nightwing#cassandra cain#batgirl#orphan#red hood#Tim Drake#red Robin#damian wayne#Robin#Bruce Wayne is a good father#but a perpetually confused one#read that tag on a fic once and haven’t forgotten it since#honestly bruce is the embodiment of your mom calling all of your siblings’ names before yours while trying to call for you#the batkids never let him live it down#they actually start calling each other by different names just to confuse him further#he draws the line when he hears dick referring to Jason as Cassandra
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This... this is a whole different kind of psychic damage here. When nightmares got Marcille, we get to knew that her's biggest fear is outliving her friends. This isn't even canon probably, but look at this. This isn't a "I don't want my friends to die" kind of dream. This is a "I'm terrified of loosing my daughters, of something killing them, and being incapable of stopping it" kind of dream. It's so simple yet it explains perfectly the whole of chilchucks character. He loves, he cares, deeply. But he, or doesn't acknowledges, or doesn't know what to do with that knowledge.
Besides that. Someone had to wake him up after this. Imagine the devastation in this man after he wakes up. He just saw his three little babys murdered corpses (or maybe he saw them die, wich isn't better). He would possibly not talk about it, and that would worry the hell out of the party, because we'll, they see him all down and only one of them knows what he saw. Imagine being the one to pull him from that nightmare. Seeing this man, usually so composed, fuking staring with tears and terror in his eyes to the composes of what you can only assume are his daughters. It would be heartwrenching.
Idk, I love this man so much...
#dungeon meshi#chilchuck#chilchuck tims#if someone wants to write a fic on this#@ me#PLEASE I WANT TO SEEEE#or dm me so i actually see it#please#if someone makes something of this post...#swnd me an ask with a link#this post exploded i cant with all the notifs#i wouldnt know if someone @'d me#i did a tags recap down on the notes and wrote a bit of#chilchuck angst#for the simps out there#my shit
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senshi fans: learning how to make nutritious meals for themselves
laios fans: down bad
marcille fans: lesbianism
chilchuck fans: putting that man in situations
#this is what I've observed over the past few weeks#it's great#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#senshi#laois touden#marcille donato#chilchuck#2000+ notes later and I'm starting to think i read y'all to filth#with exception to senshi fans also being down for him#update at 9000 notes: you can like laois for autism reasons and still be down bad#some of y'all in the tags and fics are down bad for laois in mental way#like you want him to be real so you can do brain crazy with him do you understand
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today’s ao3 experience
#homegrown meme farm to table courtesy of me seeing a 7k fic honest 2 god tagged slow burn#not even disgruntled just baffled tbh#ao3#joy do u think im funny
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actually, ykw? imagine if simon had a civilian s/o and bc he’s constantly away and the partner is there most of the time anyways, he lets them decorate the place.
they make it so cozy with a million lamps with stained glass lampshades and tapestries on the walls and an unexpected number of stuffed animals on the bed.
one time, simon invites tf 141 to his flat and their jaws dropped, bc ofc simon didn’t warn them about the absolute pinterest board that his place was.
in fact, he hadn’t mentioned a partner at all, or to you that his team would be coming over so you’re still in one of simon’s raggedy old t-shirts with a handful of dry cereal halfway to your mouth.
it’s generally a shock for both parties, simon excluded, who seems to settle himself right in, kissing the top of your head, eyes crinkling slightly as he grins, looking rather like a cat showing off the bird he dragged in.
you had some choice words for him later, but for now, you brushed the crumbs off your face and wiped your hands off on your shirt before sticking your hand out to the team to introduce yourself.
surprisingly, it goes rather well. all things considered. the team is charmed by you and your ability to make ghost blush and smile endlessly. and you’re absolutely enamored with the fact that they keep complimenting your decor.
#and yeah#that’s it#went longer than i thought#maybe i should write an actual fic for this#so do with that what you will#simon ghost riley x reader#also this is wholly unedited and the ramblings of woman at 2am#simon riley x reader#ghost x gn!reader#ghost x reader#john price#captain johnathan price#johnny soap mactavish#soap mactavish#john soap mactavish#kyle gaz garrick#gaz garrick#gaz cod#as it turns out#i have completely blanked on how to tag platonic relationships#but oh well
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