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doublekanble · 8 months ago

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Alastor/reader (gnc)

romantic-platonic

word count: 5.5k

or, alastor is a man of many things, and you believed he can never love without hurting his love. tw: a small paragraph of al eating your heart.

1. “–I was right.” you coughed, the more you do, the more your voice choked on itself. Your body seized and shuddered with every beat of your heart as blood spew from the wound, already giving up on getting yourself away when you can barely breathe. He wishes he could’ve made it easier for you, but he got caught up. “you really are selfish…”

As the hand he’s holding onto quickly grew cold, Alastor hoped, for all its worth, that when he fall, however long it’ll takes, you’ll find the strength to finally accept his love for you. For now, he set his left ear over your heart, his hair stained red, Alastor listened closely for what he thought was the last time, as you and your life stops entirely.

(having done this time and time again, for the first time in a long time, he felt a longing for warmth, your warmth, the one seeping from you and dissipating with the cold air in the night.)

2. If there is ever a need to described himself, then Alastor would be the first to say that he is a man of many thing.

The charming popular radio host of New Orleans, the life of the party, a bachelor second to none. He’s your friendly neighbor who greets you with a smile and a caring friend. He’s the perfect son and an amiable stranger. Everything you want, he will be. Everything, except all you ever wanted from him is someone to talk to.

You’ve always a strong fascination for writing from years gone by. From the gloomy and miserable words of a poor but astute poet, riddled with nihilism and pain, to a long-gone romanticist who wrote fairy tales and chasing love he couldn’t held in his hand, or a myth, lost to time and rewritten over and over again. All the books you ever care to curated in your home is that of the classic and the dead.

Perhaps that’s why he’d grown so attached to you and the poetry you sewn into existence with clumsy words.

With his unfortunate lot in life despite his mother’s best effort –god bless that woman, Alastor would, in time, learn how to play charade better than anyone else, barely remembering the last time he bother to show care to anyone else with love and honesty rather than bemusement. He doesn’t need moth-bitten books to guide him through conversation when he can just as easily play the role of a salesman, granting you the option to pick between a piece of stale bread or the last supper. But only a salesman in the end, his words and gestures is with all the saccharine and none of the sugar.

Although he could never hope to weaves paintings with his word, ever only a mockery of one, Alastor welcome his shortcoming in strides, as long as people bought into his act. For the love he lacks in his heart, valuable you, his treasured companion, would make up for it all.

In stark contrast to his hidden callousness, you were a much more genuine person. The books and stories you gathered throughout your short-lived life give you a means to convey the feelings that made up your whole existence. In the occasion where he manage to pick the right topic, you would choose to hastily penned out your thoughts, writings border-on obsessive as you speak of vivid strokes of emotions no single word in any language can ever hope to capture. And yet, your heart, enraptured by the scenery, frantically beat so loudly in your chest as you speak of worlds end and death departed with shared poison; it would also spoke of a love so ordinary and mundane.

You’d never mourned the Danish storyteller that chased love endlessly, simple deeming it a life worth living. He wondered if you ever regretted telling him that.

(you sing praises to the odds and the out of sort while cursing at the commonplace of life, Alastor charmed the ordinary and laugh at the macabre death brings. as long as you’re there by his side, he have no need to love anything else.)

3. Just like everything else about you, your close proximity to Alastor is not the standard, and should always be seen as an exception.

That evening, you both got shooed away after a particularly early dinner, his mother’s only excuses was that you, the esteemed and beloved guest, already help with cooking, so it’s only natural you’ll get to spend the rest of the stay resting up. Even if the most you ever did was being so horrendous at chopping veggies, Alastor ended up taking over your load instead.

He laugh about it, saying that you’re pretending so you don’t have to do the work. His mother slapped him on the back of his head, while he nearly chop off his own fingers, she comforts you about your culinary skill. You smile at him when she turns her back on you both, knowing full well Alastor’s fighting his instinct to throw the first thing in his hand at you.

You two stand awkwardly on the porch and stare at the only available seat before Alastor argues that he did the most work so he should take the rocking chair. You point out how he’s practically whispering in the hope of his mother not noticing, he doesn’t bother to deny it.

After some mindless chatter, Alastor would suddenly joke about how if he were to ever read the same works as you, maybe he’ll be able to conceived a love so vicious and gentle too. You, sitting just by his feet, only gives him a sheepish smile. It wasn’t until before you’re at the front of his door, already bid his mother goodbye and ready to go back, that you would throw a remark at him.

“I think you’re a pretty vicious guy on your own,” you walk the three step down and continued through the front walk nonchalantly, hands in your coat pocket instead of linking with his like usual. “If you were to love someone, you’ll hurt them in the end. Even if you were to read all of my books.”

You stand at his gate. Although you’re waiting to see whether he’s going to go with you, you might as well have been gauging his reaction. Unconsciously, as he catches your gaze, he relaxed his grip and stride towards you like a panther to a sitting duck.

“You’re welcomed to, by the way. Just don’t dog-tag them.” Faint stinging shot through the heart of his hands from where his nails was digging into. His laugh sounds more like choking as he ignores your offer for now.

“Now, I wasn’t aware you have such a dreadful view of me, let alone thinking I can’t – what?” incredulously, Alastor barks “Love?! HAH!I supposed one of us are going to have to break that pathetic news to my mother.”

The moment he reach you, he catches a soft sigh falling from your lips, “It’s not that I think you can’t, Al.” the nickname that he imprinted on your frontal lobe sounded like nails on chalkboard, “It’s that I think you shouldn’t.”

“How delightful…”

You turned and began to walk on your own. If Alastor was anyone else, he would’ve taken this at face value and get offended at your eccentricity.

“And where, pray tell, does these impressions of yours come from?” He snatched your left arm, pulling it from its resting place and do the job himself. You give him a look, he smiles.

“I’ve been watching you.” His expression must’ve been something, enough for you to instantly stop on the sidewalk as you stammered and tries to pull your arm from him. “Not like that you deviant! I was just trying to get a read on you, since everyone kept talking about you being unattached and all.”

“Yes, yes, I know. What now, you want in on the chase? It’s ok dear, I know I’m utterly irresistible!” Refusing to let go of you, he only laugh on as you scowl. It’s well known to everyone that Alastor have been available for the longest time since anyone ever known him. It was also a well-kept mystery, the fact he have never courted a single person throughout his entire life.

“Utterly hogwash, that’s what you are.” Huffing to yourself, you finally would relent your arm to him. Your shared steps echoing across the darkening street, it’s near curfew. “I do have to say, I see what they meant, about you being a good spouse and all that,” He smiles a bit brighter at that, “But I just can’t see you being vulnerable with anyone else. You despises things not going your way, and love just have too much uncertainty!”

“Yes, yes,” he repeats, as if soothing you from a tantrum, “Weak and frail Alastor, the poor soot of New Orleans, unable to tear his ribcages open and show everyone his organs the same way his beloved whimsical friend here does every day ~.” You hiss as he settled his own weight against you with his head on your shoulder, nearly knocking the both onto the ground, “I guess you’ll just have to be with me for the rest of your life then! If you don’t, I’ll simply drown in my own piled up misery! What a life it’ll be!”

“Sure you will. Now get off and take me back home you dramatic coot.”

4. At that time, there was no need for Alastor to inquire your meaning of “vicious”.

In direct contrast to your trusting nature, you’re also perceptive and doubtful to a fault. The first slight of your tongue was a comment on how he can stop smiling around you. Always with that same gaze as you have now, lying underneath him. For the life of him, he couldn’t remember what he said to you that day. But it was enough for you to stood up and walked from the table with a ten-dollar bill pin under your half-finished lemon tea. The issue was quickly resolved with a phone call to your home, but he quickly learned that you don’t take kindly to – and quite frankly, refused to participate in – saccharine sweet insult.

But at what point did he stop hiding himself and let you read him freely, he thought. If he bit down on his tongue until he bleeds and shut you out like how he did to so many others who couldn’t even take one step near him, then maybe something could’ve turn out differently.

Replaying that moment over and over in his head, for the first time in his life, Alastor think about the concept of love, really think about it. It simply was an aspect of life that he never pay mind to, equating it with romance book and kissing under starry skies, and thus, utterly useless. When he think of love, all he have to go off of is his dear old mother, who sacrifices and suffers so much for him, which, in time, he pay her back with everything he have. His life was only about her and himself and the bodies under the forest floor and it was everything he wanted and more. Until one rainy day, with his eyes on the script he’s writing out for tomorrow’s broadcast, bleary-eyed and hearing the bed calling his name, he thought about you.

When he came to, he already dropped his coffee cup. The brown liquid burns, even through his slipper.

After that, Alastor would start picking out books from your carefully curated shelves, sitting in your armchair and skims through the lines while you spread across the ground like an old cat, he tried to find the feelings that you described to him in the same page you’d read a million times and over. But as he does so, he would soon find that there’s not a single word in any of those old and yellowed pages of yours that is able to captured the quickly spreading rot in his heart. In a frenzied, Alastor would burn through your small library faster than you could ever hope for.

(Alastor knows that time and time, again and again, as long as you’re willing to reach for his hand, he will never let go of yours.

at some point, he’d stop caring about whether you’re willing to at all. why would he, when the meaning of being able to love you became all he care to know at all.)

“You don’t need to love like I do, you know that, right?”

He turns to you, on your stomach, lying in your nest of blankets and pillows with a pencil in hand putting down incomprehensible charcoal shape.

“Bragging now, are we?” he gets up from the armchair and settled down by your side, eyes watching your hand while propping the book he was reading in his lap. You crank your neck and stare at him with a look, “And how are you so sure I want to love like you, dear?”

“You’ve been plowing through my books.”

He sends you a beaming smile, acting innocent while playing with your hair.

“You offered.”

“Aren’t they all the one I told you about?”

Your eyes on the book he’s holding, then the one he just placed back into the shelves. It feels like he’s back in his mother’s kitchen, with his dirty nails behind his back and a poor excuse for the missing bread on the dinner table. Except this time, there’s just you and him in your small living room, and you’re looking awfully smug about it.

Raising his hand in the air, he sigh pitifully, “Ah~, guilty as charged, darling.” and offers nothing else. The silence afterward is enough of a white flag anyway.

Pleased with what you got from him, you turn back to your work, seemingly unaware (or even worse, maybe you don’t care at all) about the gnawing in his chest and the storm raging in his head while his hand weaves through your hair.

The last time you talked to him about love, you more-or-less called him and his love hazardous. While Alastor have no trouble with accepting it from anyone else, with you, it feels as if you’re discarding a part of him to the dogs. Although his knowledge on many topics far exceeds yours, when it came to pure and genuine emotions from the heart, you’d know enough to examine him under all type of love there is, and time after time you’d deemed him impossible to ever love. And despite knowing loving and love is wholly separate, it tears him open to even considers that you’d thought of him as unable to love and be loved and something about it is just so incredibly agonizing to the point of wanting to rip you open so you can see just how unlovable you are too.

But in your living room, sitting right next to you the way no one else is allowed to. He sigh, making sure his words doesn’t come off as unpleasant as he feels.

“If I don’t have to love like you, then how do you supposed I should be doing it?”

“I’m not sure, but hopefully not at all.” You said offhandedly, but you might as well just drove a knife through his stomach, but it’s you, so he let it be, “If you can’t help yourself though, you’ll probably do something really horrible.”

“What do you supposed I’ll do?”

You turn to him, a hint of surprise in your eyes at how close he is now, but you let him be, “Undecided. But you seems like the type to let it eats you alive.”

“I’ll let my love eats me?” Laughing in disbelief, he could almost call you cute with how you nodded to yourself, resolute in your idea about him.

“You’ll let it eats you, yes.”

Alastor chuckled to himself as he tap your sketchbook twice, you hand it to him.

“Well, I’ll need to make sure that I won’t be alone, aren’t I?”

You laugh openly and said that’s true, he’s too selfish to be taken alone. Alastor couldn’t care about how much of that was just more of your usual jest and how much of it is your view of who he is. If you, who love so selflessly and readily, agrees without push back, that someone as selfish as him will doomed whoever it is that he loves so much, then who is he to deny.

At that time, the line of charcoal you put onto the paper come together to show a shadow of a small man dragging a coat by his unseen feet, a mock-up from one of the stories that you loved. Alastor stop wondering if he ever could love something like the poems and stories you’ve read a million times over, instead, he think it’s best if he loves the way you expected him to, the way he can see himself doing.

6. To be loved is to be changed.

You told him this while he stand in your kitchen, trying to shoo you back to the table so he can work without fuzzing over you. And now, while he’s holding you, so cold and so unlike you, Alastor wondered whether you would like it if your bones were to be buried in the same spot as the others.

As much as he’d love to keep it near with him, there’s not a single excuse in the whole round earth that can ever help him convinced his mother of letting him uprooted the garden out back and buried you down there, neither can he bring you with him everywhere. Alastor wants to try taking you to the morgue after he’s done, but how do you explain bringing in a set of skeleton with missing ribs? It’s simple, really.

You don’t.

He lifted you up in his arms and sat back on his sofa, your lulling head settled just below his chin, wanted to savor what’s left of you for just a bit more before rigor mortis sets in and makes you even less of what you are now. The gramophone in the corner of his room spewed utter nonsense as Alastor closes his eyes.

It’s Tuesday tomorrow, but he will have to roll up his sleeves and get to work on cleaning out one of the guest room in his hunting lodge if he doesn’t want the ants to take you first. He’ll have to call in sick, too. Alastor likes to think that when he sees you again, you’ll at least have the will to appreciate the troubles he went through for you and not complaint about being locked up inside. You and the love you have for him, akin to small river, a gentle stream, with orange and yellow leaves floating across, tucked in a forest somewhere. It widdled down the rocks and carved a path for itself. The same one that you oh so heartlessly withheld from Alastor.

You'd appreciate being bury in such a scenery, it’s a shame you won’t be, though your body would’ve made way for the prettiest flowers. But you’ll have to take what he can afford to give. To be loved is to be changed, after all.

(when, not if. having gone on for this long, he’s sure that you’re suspended in between life and death in the hell you refuses to ever believe in. half of him prayed that there’s not a river there so you can drown yourself in it just to forget all about him. the other half prayed you’ll remember nothing at all, even of the literature you love so much.

at some point, where will you stop being yourself? when you forget enough of yourself? Alastor doesn’t need to care about the semantics. he knows he’ll choose you time and again, even if you forget how you love.)

7. You take your time reading through farewell letters.

Unless the cats and dogs on the street can write, then there’s only a few, you kept a significantly smaller number of friends by your side. But it must’ve been hard to even focus with Alastor sitting right next to you.

“Darling, surely we can-“

“Please don’t make this any harder than it already was, Alastor.”

Desperately holding onto your wrist and halted your pace for just a second, he all but plead a hopeless case.

“You’re not thinking straight! Are you really just going to up and leave because someone told you so? After living your whole life here?!”

Your hand, moving like clockwork, already finished with the letters, refusing to stay in his. You pulled back from him and place the rest of the letters in a small wooden box with a deer carved on its lid. “You know it’s not just that.”

In times like these, he wonders if it was himself who have gone mad. As if the whole world is in on one big joke and you are just following along with it. Any moment now, you’ll burst into laughter and tell him that everything is a lie. You’re not moving to Washington to help a friend you know for some years with their business, and you’re not leaving him, not after everything he showed you. But you’re holding onto the letter with his mother’s name written on the front with misty eyes as if you have no other choice. So he held you by the shoulders to the point digging his nails into it and turned you to look at him.

“Then what else is there?! For Christ sakes-“ you look as if this is the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do in your life, he felt as if this is the hardest battle he have to fight, “Please, mon Chéri, talk to me...”

Alastor collapse onto you, his whole weight pins you down on your small couch. Head on your chest, he listens as your heart beats just a bit faster. You let him.

“…what do you think we are, Alastor?”

Without hesitation, he reply.

“We are whatever you want us to be. Whatever it takes for you to stay.”

For someone like you, a romantic at heart, just like who he is now, that should’ve been enough for you to at least considers the possibility of forgetting about what’s right and wrong. For sure, it would’ve been enough for you to stay, if you were anyone else.

But you’re you, and he’s only himself. The romantic in you see through his act for the longest time and still fall in love with him, but just like how your love is selfless and kind, it’s also viciously rational. If you were anyone else, you would’ve ignored the rational part of yours.

“I’m sorry, Alastor.” All this time, he was desperately proving himself to you. Doing everything in his power just so you’re willing to forget your rationale and love him just as much as he loves you. “We’ll die loving each other.”

He doesn’t care if he die, Alastor wants to scream out. He’s ready to die to love you, he have been screaming out all this time. But despite all of his effort, you deemed him a love not worth chasing after till death, while he already planned the path to hell with you.

Your fingers, shaky and gentle, brush through his hair. If it was anyone else, he wouldn’t have to place himself bare and vulnerable like this. But if you were anyone else, he wouldn’t have love you at all. And if it’s death holding you back from loving him, then so be it.

8. For a long time now, Alastor knows you more than anyone else.

You were never a dancer, not by choice either. Its pathetic in the cutest way, how you froze up and refused to move, the way you stutters and try to pull from him only ever makes him want to bully you more. But from the way your brows draws together, to the way you’d tripped over yourself chasing after his footstep, all of it, Alastor earned from you.

From the way you stayed up overnight, to how the bottom of your shoes dragged against the pavement as you walk. From the tip of your pencil, to the bottom of your bookshelves. Every books on your shelves and every sketches. Alastor swear with all his life that no one else knows better than him when it came to you.

He knows intimately the curves you’d penned on your signatures; he knows how you’d change your mind at a moment notice about anything, he knows how you take with you small things on the side of the road that you deemed pretty enough and he knows you still have a lot you want to do here that you’ve told your lovely friend. So it’s only normal for Alastor, the person you grown to love so much, to know exactly why you refuses to even considers being by his side, and it’s just his luck that he also knows just how to write a letter with words just like yours.

So when was it that you got a friend you trusted so wholeheartedly, so faithfully, so much so, you’re your dearly cherished Alastor became a second thought in your mind? Weren’t you a romantic? Weren’t romantics idiots who can’t think straight when it come to love? So why was it that you alone refuses to let yourself love him and remained so loyal to someone you only considered a friend, someone who couldn’t even tell your lettering from his? Was it them? Who fed you lies after lies to captured you in their own hands? Was it them who taught you the telling and sign of a madman? Is that why your view of him was so horrible, you' refused to ever fathom life with him?

He knows you would’ve hated him for this, but Alastor adores you, and sometimes you just don’t know what’s best for you, even when it’s staring at you from across the front walk and following you to your home.

So if someone as rational as you can be swayed back to his lodge for just one more visit, then your friend surely can be swayed too, to come and visit you some other time, down here in your beloved New Orleans.

9. If anyone ever ask anyone else, then they will say that Alastor, beloved local radio host of New Orleans, is a man of many things. But if they were to ask you, then he’s one of the person you cherished the most, and your dearest friend.

He’s everything, the charming popular radio host of New Orleans, the life of the party, a bachelor that’s second to none. Alastor plays himself as your friendly neighbor who will always greets you with a smile and a clenched fist behind his back, hiding a stain just on the cuff of his sleeve in the early morning, a caring friend that offers you help just in the nick of time. Alastor is his mother’s perfect son, who spent more time comforting her about your whereabouts than to care for his own fracturing mind; an amiable stranger, gripping the newspaper detailing yet another disappearance with a bit too much force. Everything you have ever wanted him to be, he was. And yet, to his utter bewilderment and maddening grief, you refused to let him be anyone other than a friend you talked to about everything.

In the letters you saved from your beloved pen pal-turn-missing person, they would call you mature and wise. Sentimental words and kind, to his eyes, all are but hollowed gestures advising, agreeing, and offering you a place up in Washington until you can forget all about him and move on with your life, leaving Alastor to be nothing more than a nostalgic blot on the tablecloth, nothing more than yearning in early Junes. Until you forget the fact you ever love him at all, all because you decided that you couldn’t afford to let yourself be love by him.

Keeping all of it in mind, Alastor decides your dear friend should be bury far away from the comfort of your room. Three years, seven months and eleven days after your death, Alastor dragged a body into the woods. Not just any old one like usual, but not anything else too special.

It’s odd, even though you’ve been gone for the more than a year by now, it’s almost as if you’ve neve left his side. Maybe it’s the rest of you, lying peacefully in your nest of pillows and blankets, in your room that he diligently maintain. Maybe it’s your shared books he sometimes takes from his shelves and skims through in the dead of night after a hard day. Maybe it’s the locked box, sitting by his work desk welcoming him home after a night out, the same one he held in his hands, void of blood and anything else.

Or maybe it’s the reverberating sounds of heartbeat, so unlike his own. In both his waking days, in his reveries, over the sounds of the jazz band down in his favorite speakeasy and following him into the woods. Ever so silently, oh-so gently, utterly viciously in his left ear.

In any other case, Alastor finds he absolutely adores the idea of your ghost haunting him until his fell into his grave.

(you said that he should never love because he couldn’t be in control. he mourn the fact you never even let him prove you wrong. Alastor would’ve let you dance on his rotting corpse if that’s what it takes for you to let him call you his.)

10.

Somewhere in his heart, Alastor had hoped that you of all people can evade the hand of rots.

It’s a genuine shame that in the end, all of the words in the world will do nothing to stop you from sharing the lot with the others, he thought, staring down from where he straddled you with his hand peeling off layers of skins and fat. Warm fingers brushes against your hollowed cheek, before raising a small hammer and bringing down onto your bare chest. Alastor wants to preserve you for as long as possible, but to do that properly, he might as well take all of your innards out and sewn you up. It’s not that he’s not open to that idea, Alastor love every part of you. It’s just that he’s sure you’ll be extremely upset when you find out. So he’ll have to get comfortable with doing things the hard way, no matter how hard it is to do so.

With steady fingers in spite of the drumming in his ears, Alastor patiently picks out every pieces of bones he could, placing them into a small, wooden box. With a wistful smile, he closes the lid and set it aside. He miss you already.

Pushing your lungs out of the way, he dig his hands in. With blood runs up to his wrist, Alastor tries to be as gentle as he can while pulling your heart out. One hand holding onto it, another carefully cutting away everything that ties it to your body.

Distinctly, every part of you was always warm, and over time, Alastor, who’s hands are as cold as winter itself, find comfort in your touch. It was almost like you were made just for him, and him, you. And now, with your heart, cold and silent in his hand, Alastor realized what a miserable life it will be to go on living without your warmth with him from now on until he’s six feet under. But it’s ok, he’s sure of it, because above all else, what he’s been chasing after this whole time is in his hand.

For a brief moment, Alastor wondered if he were to meet you in another lifetime, one where you aren’t so complicated and so in love with the idea of living a fair life and a right love, would you have let yourself be wrong and love him. But he’s glad that your love, with all its beautiful intricacies that causes him this much pain, with a wound in it, still look as beautiful as he hoped.

Sinking his teeth into it, into you, the taste of iron and metallic flooded his mouth and drown his senses as he closed his eyes shut and nearly buckled under the taste of you. There’s not a single word in the book to describe the visceral sensations running through his blood and spreading through his every veins. Alastor shivers, the back of his head felt numb, his fever grows as he desperately takes his time and savor you. It’s a shame you can’t last forever, but he’ll take what he can get for now.

(as his teeth tears into your veins, he hears a sounds, so familiar, somewhere in the corner of his ears. it wasn’t until he caught his own heart beating that he realized that the rhythm he’s hearing isn’t his at all.

until the day you two can meet again, until then. he pray he will never forget the sounds of your heart, beating so gently.)

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parlerenfleurs · 8 months ago

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In the notes of the previous post I've reblogged I saw a discussion about why Ringo isn't considered (by the fandom) as a romantic interest for Mizu despite treating her better than all the other men in her life, and how this is tied to fatphobia. Also the fact that the fat character is often the comic-relief and the fact that if he is indeed intended as platonic why make him the only fat (="unattractive") man among the three (others being Taigen and Mikio) that can or have been considered love interests for her?

And that's really interesting because indeed, I never considered Ringo a potential love-interest for Mizu... And so I have to wonder if it's because he's fat. But I also never saw him as a comic-relief character, and I want to expand on why first.

He is indeed funny, and brings levity. But it's not "comic-relief", it's "positivity-relief", in my eyes. I don't feel like we're supposed to take him unseriously at all. Characters take him unseriously, sure, because of his social class, his disability, his seemingly naïve and weak character (never his size, in any case).

But the story shows, and Mizu comes to know, that he's anything but weak and naïve. We know right from the start that he's endured a terrible childhood and life up until meeting Mizu. He doesn't have hands, his father is abusive both physically and psychologically. The way the flesh-trader mistreats him in the first episode isn't anything unusual to Ringo. Everyone despises him and feels free to exert force against him. Taigen in his arrogance, deigns offer him a menial job in his household with the condescension reserved for a nobody who is also a child, or mentally a child.

Ringo was forged at this cruel relentless fire and what came out is a formidable strength. It doesn't manifest itself as obviously as Mizu's but it's, in my opinion, superior, and also extremely great and loveable. Ringo is neither naïve nor stupid. He knows when he's being beaten and condescended to. He's like that because, in spite of everything, he wants to see beauty in everything, and enjoy the good things in life, and he chooses to be kind. He CHOOSES to be kind. With an unbreakable, fluid, infinitely bending strength.

I am not well-versed enough in Japanese culture to make a meaningful comment about this, probably, but my personal reading of Ringo is that he might be a Buddha figure. East of India, the Buddha is fat. The Buddha smiles serenely, even in adversity, because he's reached a state of zen. His ego isn't touched by insults and beatings. Of course Ringo prefers to be treated well, like anyone else! That's why he follows Mizu around! She's an outcast and "deformed" like him, but she's also able to hold her own against physical violence, against the tyrants of the world, and that obviously appeals to him.

He kills, he has sex, he likes good food, he's obviously not detached from the world at all. But still, like a Buddha, his sense of self cannot be shaken by outside mockery or hostility. He's incredibly persistent once he has a goal, but he doesn't bother affirming himself to others for the sake of ego. He's the polar opposite of Taigen in that respect. Taigen's background has made him desperate for outside sources of strength - admiration, prestige, money, social standing...

On the other hand Ringo is really similar to Mizu, a thing he sees immediately but she does not. Hers is an inner unbreakable strength, too. The same fluid, adaptable, water-like strength. Can't break water. It will shape itself around you and your obstacles without ever losing its nature.

But contrary to Ringo, Mizu feels all the pain, the slights, the shame, the self-hatred. Ringo is pure love, or water, not poisoned by betrayal. Perhaps, or even probably, he has been betrayed but he hasn't let it poison his love, his water nature.

Even when Mizu betrays his love (respect, admiration, regard), he's no pushover, he lets her know that he won't stand for it, but still he rescues her because... despite everything his love is still pure. His love is the agape kind. He loves life, he obviously loves himself. There is no shame or shrinking of the self in him. No shame of his body, among other things. He's the only one in the main cast who doesn't wear a mask. What you see is what you get, and it's only people's own preconceptions that blind them to his depth and merit.

On the subject of fatness, I'm not sure he's even really... considered fat, in-universe? Or not negatively so, in any case. When Akemi has to serve her first client, HE is called fat by the characters. Fat enough to crush someone, and to hinder his own libido - the fatness of being extremely rich and eating too much rich food while being extremely idle. This one has the prostitutes reluctant, and his fatness is viewed in a negative light. Ringo has a very pleasant and cordial interaction with the two prostitutes who service him, and sure we're not privy to their thoughts on the matter, but I bet they found him cute, polite, not troublesome at all to service, and I feel like his size wasn't even a question that was posed. We see him naked, running around, carrying things, and being extremely active. His is a common build, sturdy, not a hindrance to his libido, his health, his self-image, or anything. What I mean is, he's not presented to us in a negative way on account of his fatness, and isn't viewed negatively for it in-universe.

All of this to say, I might indeed be blind to his potential as a love interest to Mizu, but I'm not sure it just has to do with the fact he's fat? It might be! I don't know. The first thing I think about on why I don't ship them is they show no romantic or sexual interest in each other that I see. Except, perhaps, that it might be significant that she's the one to arrange his first sexual experience and that it's the framework he has when seeing her naked. But as his attitude remains strictly the same and he shows no change in the kind of interest he has for her, it didn't feel significant to me. I might be wrong, I don't know. But again, Taigen is the opposite: he might be bi, but let's say he isn't, or at least isn't aware of it (I would be sad if he's not but it would better serve the parallel if he's straight) - the guy shows unmistakable chemistry with, and attraction to Mizu without even knowing she's got peaches underneath it all. (I love that he feels attraction to her at the precise moment where she's her playful self again: wrestling, battling and winning, while laughing and having fun... everything that Mikio couldn't handle is the very thing Taigen feels attracted to, aaah so good.)

When I think about it, the loyal, protective role Ringo has, where he saves her physically and emotionally, cares for her, protects her secret, admires her for who she is as a whole, his place as the person who sees the most of her without rejecting a single part of it, should indeed make me feral....

But if he's the opposite to Taigen in so many ways, he might be in this too, in that he has no attraction to Mizu, and they've no such chemistry between them. It's also so lovely as a platonic relationship! For once it is! He's her apprentice, after all, and she takes on the Swordfather role for him as Swordfather did for her (she even used the same persistent-as-hell-I-will-stay-look-I'm-useful method as Ringo did on her - when I say they're so similar...). She used to make noise to signal things to Swordfather and she makes Ringo make noise so that she can keep track of him, too. It's very cute! He uses her kitchen knives and she makes him start to fight with that just like she started to forge by forging them. To me, they're firmly in this master-apprentice dynamic. And friends.

I've said repeatedly that he's not naïve but actually in some ways he is, and that's what Mizu needs more of. She needs to reconnect with that younger, less hurt version of herself. And Ringo helps her with it, because she does ask for his help, does recognise she needs it (healing!) when she asks him to write on her back. He literally has her back. He's his own character, his own person, but they mirror each other a lot, and in some ways he's her master too. A master in gentleness.

Oh. I've said that Ringo's love/water is pure, but that it HAS been touched by the poison that affects Mizu: he's a better sword, has a better strength because he let the impurity be a part of him, didn't push it away or let it consume and change him. No wonder she must learn from him/needs his help to forge her new sword.

IF the story started signaling attraction between them, I don't think it would occur to me that Ringo is fat or anything (or it wouldn't have before, now I'll pay attention to that). It didn't occur to me when he was with the prostitutes, I was only thinking about the fact he has no hands, but the prostitutes shrugged it off with grace, and it made me happy.

#Blue eye samurai #Ringo bes

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a-strange-server · 2 months ago

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🦋 Strange Tales Of Halloween 2024 👻

It’s finally happening! The most awaited server event makes its yearly appearance! Can you believe it’s our third time?! Here’s to participation in whatever form you desire, let’s be strange together and make some spooky things!

Anyway, as our baby event grows, this year we decided to make one significant change: instead of lasting a whole month, the event is set during the last 2 weeks of October.

Brief info:

The event is set between 18–31 October 2024

We are open to all forms of creativity (fics, art, gifs, etc.) 🦋

42 prompts to choose from (2 types: words & sentences); 3 daily prompts

The main rule — works centred around Stephen Strange

Tag with #strangehalloween2024, so we can reblog on our Tumblr

If applicable, submit in our dedicated ao3 collection

Art by @unnnamedidiot with permission to use for the event. Show your support and reblog their amazing art!

We hope that you will once again have fun with Strange Tales of Halloween, whether by active participation or enjoyment of the contributions! Please remember to show your appreciation in comments, reblogs, kudos, etc. We encourage you to let others know that you like someone’s work! The fandom and its growing content exists because we want to be there, engaging with another. This is what allows Strange Tales of Halloween to be organised each year — you never disappoint by asking about said event!

🎃 Prompt list, FAQ & rules can be found bellow the line:

Prompt List

Friday 18 October — Bedtime story | Basement | Potion

Saturday 19 October — Claws | Whispers | “Follow me”

Sunday 20 October — Lies | Trick or treat | Zombies

Monday 21 October — Abandoned mansion | Scarecrow | “I don’t take orders from a cat”

Tuesday 22 October — Web | Cloak | Vampire

Wednesday 23 October — Spell book | Horns | “Stay still, or I’ll chop your hand off!”

Thursday 24 October — Candle | Wanderer | Shadow

Friday 25 October — Stars | Ruckus | “Say, weren’t you the one playing that creepy tune earlier?" "…I thought that was _you_.”

Saturday 26 October — Screams | Sacrifice | Poison

Sunday 27 October — Morbid curiosity | Wings | “Well, that’s a nifty spell!”

Monday 28 October — Summoning | Buried (alive) | Angel

Tuesday 29 October — Smile | Kingdom | “Are you speaking Latin?" "Why, aren’t _you_?”

Wednesday 30 October — Deal | Pumpkin (Spice Latte / Carving) | Demon

Thursday 31 October — Full Moon Party | Halloween | “Don’t mind them, they’re in the wardrobe.”

⚝ ⚝ ⚝ ⚝ ⚝

FAQ & rules 2024

1. What must be included in the content of a filled prompt?

Stephen Strange (any version of him: film, TV, or comics etc.) must be either the main or co-main character. Otherwise, anything goes!

2. Can I still take part in the event even if I ship Stephen with someone?

Well, that can be a bit tricky, but generally — yes, you can. We’d prefer to not having Stephen or the other character(s) being there for the sole purpose of shipping, but we’re not against shipping during the event, as long as it all resolves to showing the story or whatever you come up with, that regardless of the dynamic or chosen relationship (platonic, romantic, familial etc.), in the end, it is about Doctor Stephen Strange.

An established relationship, first meeting, or getting together could be allowed if shipping isn’t the driving force behind writing a prompt (yes, of course you can be wanting to have them together, but the thing is — dig harder. Romantic content is a given within the fandom, but the fandom also needs General content! Or/and especially good whumping or angst, or a detective story, an unique AU etc. There are a lot of interesting prompts, so it’s a very good opportunity to try something new or different.

3. What must be included in the tags of posts?

Use the hashtag #strangehalloween2024. Add either into description or a tag the prompts you use (or both). On Tumblr, please include additional tags for NSFW (or NSFT meaning Not Safe For Tumblr) and common triggers (see AO3 for examples). The triggers apply to SFW works if necessary.

4. When can I post my prompt fill(s)?

In the spirit of the theme, these should be posted between 18–31 October 2024. Any strict rules don’t really exist, but we'd prefer if you post prompts the day they were chosen to be posted, e.g. one of the prompts from Saturday 26 October (Screams | Sacrifice | Poison) on said Saturday or after it if you're late, but not eatlier (not on Oct. 20). Don’t worry if you won’t be able to fulfil something on time, you can always participate even if fashionably late. We’d still add it to the ao3 collection or reblog on Tumblr if we see it.

5. Where on the discord server do I post my submissions?

In our gallery for the event in #strange-halloween. It’s for submitting your finished works. Even if it's fanfiction or something that would usually go into art channels, this event is an exception.

Reminder: said channel is not for casual talking, not even about the event, there’s a separate thread within the channel for that.

If your work happens to be NSFW, the usual rules apply: post those into NSFW channels. But if you want, you can write a message in #strange-halloween channel to tell others that you have created something, and point to the appropriate channel.

6. What medium can I use?

Anything! Written prose, poetry, gifsets, mood boards, artwork, playlists, you can even cook or bake something! Make a figurine, crochet something, do a scrapbooking thing, do a cosplay, make a board game, or a quiz. An app for a phone. A game, a collage. Anything goes. All it has to do is to follow the main rule of the event — being about Stephen Strange. No Stephen? No contribution in this one, sorry. So, all is acceptable as a prompt fill. It's all about Stephen Strange in any form he comes in.

7. Can I combine different prompts into one submission (e.g.: Wednesday 23 October Spell book | Horns | “Stay still, or I’ll chop your hand off!” + an earlier/later one) ?

Sure!

8. There are 3 prompts per day. Do I have to do it all?

No. You can do whichever one you want. But if you want to do all no one would be stopping you.

9. Can I use your prompt list with other prompt lists/bingo cards?

Absolutely! Combine it with any other event you'd like to do.

10. Are there any limits to how many prompts I can use/have to use?

Nope! Participate with one or all 42 items! Do as much as you'd like!

11. I’m a bit confused about some prompts; what are the brackets for?

The prompts that have a word in the brackets or also a slash within are the ones where you can be a bit creative (and cheat the system to have more prompts if you try enough), e.g.:

Monday 28 Oct — there's Buried as a prompt. You can use just that word or include the one in the brackets to have Buried alive. Technically, you could also try a different way and get rid of the first one and only have Alive.

Wednesday 30 Oct — we have the prompt Pumpkin so either use this singular word or use the suggested ones to get a Pumpkin Spice Latte, or another option which is Pumpkin Carving!

So, you can either completely omit the additionally suggested words or not. Have fun!

12. I’m not a native English speaker, can I make something in my native language or the one I'm trying to learn?

Of course, there are no limitations. The more, the merrier! Any contribution is valid.

🦇 🎃 👻 🦋 Any other questions? Feel free to send an ask to this tumblr. We can't wait to see what you come up with!

⚝ ⚝ ⚝ ⚝ ⚝

Have a great spooky time! 🦋🎃🦋

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shadowgast-recs-weekly · 11 months ago

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Soulmates: A Shadowgast Rec List

This week, we have Soulmates! Check under the cut for 10 fics that feature Essek and Caleb being fated for one another, and don't forget to comment and kudos if you like them!

the shade of poison trees by MithrilWren (3791, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Essek didn't realize, when he was young, that the name on someone's arm could be shameful. Like all other topics, he learned quickly.

Reccer says: I liked it!

Marked by venndaai (1979, General) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

There is a particular kind of magical tattooing process perfected by the Kryn. It is used on only two occasions: for the ritual of Consecution, and when two Consecuted vow to be with one another through all of their future lives.

Reccer says: A fantastic trope subversion (Caleb and Essek don't share any marks), that also explores what it means to choose each other.

you're familiar like my mirror years ago by bubblesandburdensfics (3057, General) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Your greatest hurt's name is on one wrist and your greatest love is on the other. Caleb has a hard time telling which is which.

Reccer says: I liked it!

I can see a glimmer by HostileGlitch (1303, General) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

In a world where soulmates share magic, generated when they touch, Essek realizes how much brushing hands with Caleb Widowgast could mean.

Reccer says: Combining Essek's hunger for touch and his hunger for magical power is next level shit, this concept is so tasty.

with flying colours by idontreallylikebutterflies (2254, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

People who are important to you - platonic and romantic - leave marks on your body. For the longest time, Essek only had one mark.

Reccer says: I love expanding soulmarks to platonic loves and friendships, and Essek's feelings on soulmarks still ring true throughout.

little thumbprints by softlyblue (6239, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes, Choose Not to Warn

In a world where soulmate marks are rare and often mistaken for birthmarks. Essek and Caleb have learned to hide theirs.

Reccer says: The story of Caleb and Essek's soulmarks was great, but I also enjoyed the little asides about other Exandrians' marks and locations.

Fortune's Fool by timbrene (5047, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

The Luxon marks Kryn with the name of their soulmate. Essek doesn't get one until he is 90.after a few more decades, isn't sure he will ever meet Bren.

Reccer says: I like the pining. Essek thinks Caleb is not his soulmate and then later, when he realizes he is there is still so much pining.

Falling Toward The Singularity by Riot_Fae (117491, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Essek joins the Mighty Nein after Travelercon.

Reccer says: A very interesting and welcome take on the soulmate concept! Elegantly written and fun to read!

And In Dreams (we will meet again) by Beauteousmajesty (6138, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Soulmates begin to share memories after the first skin to skin touch. After Caleb kisses Essek's forehead, they begin to share memories

Reccer says: Beautiful writing and an interesting concept!

The following fic received two recs!

Some truths are stubborn as gravity by SkyScribbles (4742, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: Emotionally Abusive Parenting

In which you cannot lie to your soulmate. Which makes things difficult, if you are Essek Thelyss, and you were raised a liar.

Reccer 1 says: It's a different take on soulmates than I'm used to seeing

Reccer 2 says: It's a classic - I love the premise and the worldbuilding involved, and the problems that not being able lie causes Essek - and how he manages to get around them anyway. It's a must read, in my opinion.

Aeor is for Lovers is an 18+ Shadowgast Discord server. The above fanfic recommendations were pulled from our community for this weekly event. All fics, unless otherwise specified, will primarily feature Shadowgast. Have any questions about what this is? Check out the FAQ! Next week, we’ll be back with WIPS!

#shadowgast #caleb widogast #essek thelyss #critical role #cr fic recs #aeor is for lovers #fan fiction rec list #critical role fan fiction #cr fic #cr fics #soulmate au

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the-raging-tempest · 3 months ago

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Thank you for the tag Dujour 💕 @dujour13

As you know I can’t pick favorites so I’m going to do them both. An excuse to post about songs in my frankly insufferably long playlists for them. This is such a long post that I will let the song and lyrics choices be unexplained. Unless people are truly curious haha

I’ll tag @aelyosos @bearvanhelsing @thesolemnhour @amatres @undyingembers

Rules: If you're tagged, make a new post with links to music and/or lyrics describing the following:

1. An event that defines your character's past 2. How your character sees themselves 3. How others view them 4. Their closest relationship (platonic or romantic) 5. A major fight scene 6. End credits song

Lariel

1. Hey, Who Really Cares - Linda Perhacs

"Hey now, who really cares Hey, won't somebody listen Let me say what's been on my mind Can I bring it out to you I need someone to talk to And no one else would spare me the time"

2. People Are Strangers - Zella Day

"You're only alone for a little while So do what you can to sit back and smile They tell you that they'll never tell you a lie Put you in a spell to get you on their side They're trying to hide, but they're crossing the line And it's bad behavior"

3. Run Devil Run - Haunted Like Human

"Call her prophet, call her priestess, call her witch or patron saint But we know Jesus ain’t around no more and there’s people needing saved Don’t think God’s got any part of it, no holy books or ancient tongues There’s bottle of fire in her hand, and there’s fire in her lungs"

4. Closer - The Tiny, Elle-Kari

"Then you're close enough to lose Close to the point where you know that your mind It can not choose Close enough to lose Close enough to lose Your heart"

5. Simmer - Hayley Williams

"Control There's so many ways to give in Eyes closed Another way to make it to ten Oh, how to draw the line between wrath and mercy? Gotta simmer, simmer, simmer, simmer, simmer down"

6. You in a Place for a While by Yourself - Voice Coils

"Sometimes I find myself hearing verses from other songs Melodies I heard in a dream where your eyes turned white And I felt like loosening off of the centaurs in me And those songs sustained through our minds until we were silent Hooves heard by the drift outside"

Zrise

1. Favoured Son - The Mechanisms

"I can pay your way If your part you’ll play In service to the family As my favoured son" Buy a life eternal with my (your) bloodied hands In service to the family as the favoured son"

2. Rex - Brutus II - The Buttress

"Mothers will kill their own daughters And friend will kill friend It's not cruel or loveless or hatred Cause even if it means I must erase you I do so for the good of the many of those who must remain so please forgive me!"

3. Heartless - The Weeknd

"'Cause I'm heartless And I'm back to my ways 'cause I'm heartless All this money and this pain got me heartless Low life for life 'cause I'm heartless Said I'm heartless Tryna be a better man but I'm heartless Never be a wedding plan for the heartless Low life for life 'cause I'm heartless"

4. Thank You for the Venom - My Chemical Romance

"You'll never make me leave I wear this on my sleeve Give me a reason to believe So give me all your poison And give me all your pills And give me all your hopeless hearts And make me ill You're running after something That you'll never kill If this is what you want Then fire at will"

5. SLAY!! - Paledusk, Hideyoshi

"SLAY!!SLAY!!SLAY!!SLAY!! I'm your slayer 茶割り飲み We're getting higher SLAY!!SLAY!! あんま気にせんやニアサイド飛び込んだコーナー"

6. Sick, Sick, Sick - Queens of the Stone Age

"First thing we succumb to Shall erase and undo Days are unreleased, if there's no release Please just let me do whatever fits you Make something, make someone Beg on a knee, baby, baby please Pout your bottom lip while cracking the whip You know what we want, it's candy to cum to"

#oc: lariel #oc: zrise #tag game #Music for Sia was just a delight to read #i almost never tag people #I'm being so brave...

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prismuffin · 1 year ago

Note

[Okay so homie ignore this if ur busy I just NEED 47 content and ur one of the only ones to provide it a req I guess????? LOVE U HOMIE 💞💞💞💞💞💞-

Anyway:]

PICK YOUR POISON:

Romantic:

So 47 with a genderfluid reader (Bc I KNOW u simp for this man and u are absolutely unhinged when it comes to your fav characters 😤)? Maybe a romantic candlelit dinner and it's basically really fluffy??? Imagine this it's been 2 years since he's taken you into captivity he's been nothing but kind to you and you find yourself catching stockholm syndrome. Maybe they share a sweet little kiss?

Or or or

Platonic:

Dad!47 with an agender reader? Maybe reader tries to escape or just in general rebels against dear old dad? I just wanna see how you'd write reader running away and 47 reacting to reader escaping from his tightly secured home- 😈

(Also remember that if u pick one I'll put the one u didn't pick in a new req once they're open again and I'll add another option to pick from)

A/n: Ahh yes, hello Ghost YOU DID NOT HAVE TO EXPOSE ME ABT SIMPING FOR 47 OK?!- But Ik you like a dad!47 so I went with that one

Escapade

Yandere!Father!Agent 47 x gn!reader

( summary: after asking to go to a party leads to an argument with your father, 47, you decide to rebel for one night and leave anyway )

Warnings?: Mentions of drinking, Yandere 47 so, possessiveness, stalking/being followed, mentions of an argument, 47 cornering the reader, mentions of guns, mentions of poisons and poisoning, normal Hitman violence- reader can be a teen or adult you choose!!

!-!more under the cut!-!

“No.”

“What?”

“I said no.”

“Why not?!”

47’s deadpan expression didn’t waver as he took a sip of his tea, the warmth of the liquid was evident to you even from where you stood. “Because I said so.” You almost audibly laughed at that, currently you were attempting asking your father to let you leave the house to go to a party that you had been invited to by one of the only people your father lets you talk to. He’s let you out of the house before so you don’t get why he won’t let you go this time. "That's not even an answer." "I don't want you going, drop it." You closed your mouth, swallowing any further protests as you did. "Fine," quickly, you stormed off to your room, making sure to not slam the door.

You huffed as you stuffed a bag with some extra clothing. You carefully picked out which garments you threw in there, you'd change later. You picked up a hunters knife from your desk and hid it in your boot. You’ve been with your dad for long enough to know that sneaking out was possible but not plausible. After he notices your absence, you practically have a specific amount of time before he locates you and drags you back home.

You’ve only attempted this once before way back when you’d first been taken. You were a child then and were able to escape using the vents that led through to the outside. You were only gone for what felt like a matter of seconds in your kid brain, though in reality you know if was longer. It took you a while to accept your “new life” as 47 put it. He was your father and though you know he took you from your real parents at this point there’s not much you can do about it now. You can’t remember what your old life used to be like so you don’t feel as bad when thinking about it. Instead, you’re glad that your father cares so much and even after earning his trust enough for you to go out semi-often his protective nature can still get overbearing at times. You’ve totally spotted him trailing you when you’re out with the only people that 47 let’s you talk to. Sometimes you wonder if they’re just actors he’s hired to make you stop whining about not meeting new people.

You scoffed at the thought as you zipped up your bag, you had a few rations of food and some water bottles in case you got thirsty, you were to wait until your father goes to bed and then you’d act, he sleeps around the same time every night when he’s not taking mission and it’s usually a pretty early time so there should be no problem with getting to the party late. All you had to do now was wait.

—TS—

The house was cold and dark, the shiny tiles reflected the light from the full moon that shone through the large windows. You'd be foolish to go through the front door knowing the system your dad has set up this whole house would come down on top of you if you were to trigger any alarms. Your heart raced and you steadied your breathing as you walked barefoot through the halls. Your father had an armory within the house that had a crawlspace designed for quick escapes. The heavy disguised door let out an even colder draft as you opened it. Flicking on your flashlight you pointed it into the dark room, stepping in and shutting the weighted door behind you as quietly as you could. You swear you could see your breath as you creeped through the cold armory, elevating your heels to feel less of the cold on your feet.

You quickly placed the flashlight in your mouth as you crouched down near the wall. Pulling a lockpick from your pocket, you undid the lock of the crawlspace as quick as you could, the cold of the room stiffening your movements slightly. After getting it open you crawled in, throwing your backpack further ahead first so that you could properly close the door to the makeshift tunnel. The space led you to a small room near the garage, the only way out other than the place you just came from was a large vent that sat in the corner. With a bit of struggle you were able to get high enough to unscrew it and crawl through.

You had done it, you'd made it outside, and though you knew you'd left an obvious trail of where you'd gotten out it was fine to you. Avoiding the cameras, you found your bike near the trail in front of your house and grabbed it. It was now that you put on your shoes, hoping that you hadn't left any obvious trails up until this point. You rode through the forests, breaking off from the main trail near the beginning to a less taken hikers trail that was blocked off halfway down the mountain.

Eventually you'd made your way to the main streets, riding all the way until you hit a gas station. It was there that you freshened up in their bathroom, changing your clothes into a more appealing outfit for the party. You then continued your ride to the address your friend had given you, your smile growing as you heard music as you continued to near the place. But no matter how happy you currently were your father was quite the opposite.

Looking at the cameras, his signature expression changed ever so slightly as he frowned. You'd escaped his watchfulness, honestly he hadn't expected you to get so far. By the time he awoke you were already outside, the crawlspace he guessed, and upon inspection he was right. He was quick to check his cameras, he had them aligned with the main trail to get to the house and at first he was able to locate you, but you'd obviously gone off path because the next second you weren't in frame anymore. He sighed, rolling up the sleeves of his black turtle neck. He stood, going to grab everything he thinks he'll need. Guns, knives, and syringes of multiple poisons littered the walls and counters of his basement. Explosives? He doesn't think it'll get that serious.

Sedative? Perfect.

He packs his coins and garrote wire along and sets off to track you.

"I'm so glad you could make it Y/n!" You friend yells over the loud music and you cheer back. "Me too! It took a while to convince my dad but I made it!" You lied, clinking your drink with them before chugging it back. "Oh shit-" Your friend stumbled and you snorted, almost choking on your drink as you laughed. "Ughhh here, take my drink," you said, handing your cup to your friend, "I gotta piss." "Let me go with youuu," they slurred and you shook your head. "I'll be right back it's right over...there!" You saidd, pointing dramatically towards the open bathroom door. "Plus I need someone to watch my drink." they sighed before waving you off, mumbling a fine as you skipped your way to the bathroom.

"Woops, sorry!" Your friend said after someone bumped into them. The person hadn't responded though and quickly got lost in the crowd of people. Checking that none of your drink spilled on them, your friend sighed at the lack of liquid on their clothing. Lifting the cup to their lips they paused, before laughing at themselves. "That's- That is not my drink~," they giggled at themselves before pushing your cup away from them.

Sooner rather than later you came back to your friend, swooping your drink out of their hand you took a sip as they immediately went back to talking to you. After a while though the lights started to blur together, it felt different from the previous effects of the slightly alcoholic beverages you'd been drinking and you struggled to keep your eyes open.

"Hey I'm gonna go get some air-" You tried to yell over the music but you're not sure how loud you'd actually been speaking. Stumbling out of the party you were met with the fresh cold night air, a stark contrast to the humid environment inside. You walked a little ways away from the intimate couples that littered around the front of the house. You blinked slowly as you caught your breath, you felt a little better but not by much.

A clinking noise caught your attention, in between the houses where the fence clashed with the opposite houses, creating a dark alleyway. Curious, you walked towards it, well, more like stumbled as your feet seemed to work against you. As you neared the location of the sound you were met with something shiny, a quarter. You picked it up, inspecting it a bit. "Nice," you slurred, putting the shiny metal into your pocket before standing back up. You stumbled backwards into a sturdy surface, a wall maybe? That you swear wasn't there before.

Turning, you came face to face with the bright blue eyes of your father. A gasp escaped you as you tried to back away, tripping over your own feet causing you to fall to the hard ground. You groaned as your father crouched down to you. "You never should have disobeyed me." Your vision blurred a bit more as you attempted to defend yourself. "What's wrong? Feeling a bit tired?" His voice warped in your ears as you fought the urge to keep your eyes open. "Let's get you home dear," Your eyes finally shut as your father grabbed ahold of your now limp body.

Waking up in your bed, you groaned as the slight hangover caused a pounding pain in your head. You moved to get up only to feel a slight tug on your limbs, halting your movements.

"Huh? Wh-"

Your eyes scanned your form, noticing that all of your limbs were handcuffed to the posts of your bed. "It's a precaution." Your head snapped to the side, where your father was sitting in a chair near the door. His expression, unhappy. You gulped, the false hope that you'd be able to sneak out of your house without getting caught felt so foolish now as his intense gaze practically swallowed you whole. When you'd be unchained, you weren't sure, maybe days or weeks even. But you do know that it'd be better for you if you just do as instructed from here on out. For your fathers punishments were never for the faint of heart.

———

Thanks for reading! Have a great day/night!!

My requests are OPEN so feel free to request anything! Just make sure you check out my SLOTS & Request Info first!

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Masterlist

#agent 47 #yandere agent 47 #agent 47 x reader #agent 47 x gn reader #gn reader #x gn reader #agender reader #agender #fanfiction #hitman woa #hitman x reader #hitman #platonic agent 47 #prismuffin #x reader

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kurishiri · 4 months ago

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Heyyy I’m not sure if you’re okay with this kind of question so please feel free to ignore this ask if you don’t feel comfortable!

I just finished reading your Al and El past record translation and I have some questions that I’m not sure have canon answers yet like, 1) How did Elbert avoid the false choice in the game? Or was it just his pure (bad) luck? 2) What is another reason Elbert took Alfons to the manor besides he giving the answer El wanted to hear?

I actually have some theories if they never provide the official answer lol and if you have any, I’m all ears! 👀👀

hii, anon! of course you can ask these questions- in fact, i encourage it! i like having discussions like these 🫶🫶 hope you enjoyed the past records story, and thanks a lot for reading it!

so there are no 150% set in stone canon answers to this as far as ik, as i read the past records for 🍎🪞 i felt that the story as a whole never really provided a “true answer” and wants you to come to your own conclusions. and that’s where we come in- we can always theorize and talk abt this! so please share your theories too 👀✨✨ will put everything under the cut! bc it’s.. a lil long. lmao

and for anyone else reading this, you can read the past records for 🍎🪞 here.

(1) how did elbert avoid the false choice in the game? or was it his bad luck?

i think the concept of “luck” is pretty warped in this story, to be honest.

what’s interesting here is that elbert had always made the wrong choice — except that he actually always made the right choice, because the one he was playing with was alfons.

so objectively speaking, yes, i think elbie does indeed have “bad luck.” and this is not only evident in the past records, but also if you look at his past, and the events in his own route, yes you can say that he indeed had a streak of bad luck. they’re just not as vocal abt it in the main story compared to the past records. even though liam briefly suspects elbie may have been making the decisions he’s been making purposely due to him saying he won’t let al die, but like, how would child! elbie have known child! al was gonna spike one of the cups of tea with a lethal poison? or how would he have known which hand the regular or the irregular pudding was held in? like he is human too (a cursed one, but human nonetheless). it’s not like he can completely mind read al when it comes to this.

i think what elbie meant by “i’m not going to let al die” is that, were he to make the “wrong decision,” i.e. choosing the tea that’s not poisoned, or choosing the carriage with the non-intoxicated driver, etc. then he, too, would save al. and he’s willing to go through pain himself if it means al doesn’t have to.

but, when he plays with al, is he lucky that he wins every bet (in the terms al lays out) and thus keeps al alive, or is he unlucky for technically making the “wrong” decision that puts himself in danger, in lieu of al? and conversely, does al have bad luck that he can never seem to get his wish to die, or to distance himself, granted? after all, he is the one who laid out the terms of winning or losing a game. elbie had only really ever gone along with everything. bc it’s al, and elbie would trust al with his life, unironically.

could it be al’s “bad luck” that the opponent he met a long time ago is always someone with “bad luck,” but since he is a “mirror,” his opponent’s bad luck turns into good luck?

so i think even in this way, they are meant for each other in this sort of more than (or different than) platonic but less than romantic kinda way.

(2) what is another reason elbie took al to the manor?

i don’t think this is ever explicitly mentioned outright, but i don’t think we have no basis to go off of either. but this would require us to delve into some spoiler territory for elbie and al’s route, so if you don’t want to hear them, then you can stop here, but the short answer would be that the other reason elbie mentioned having (which he kept a secret from al) may either be bc he wanted a friend, or he wanted to help al in exchange for al helping him when he needed it most. as for the long answer..

for that said “other reason,” we can look first at elbie’s route. there, al talks abt his past to kate, and one thing that’s really evident here is that for a lot of his life, he was basically alone. his story mentioned his parents, the butlers and maids — but nobody really around his age. his parents turned their backs on him, and he couldn’t trust the servants in the estate; if anything, they made him very uncomfy and unsafe. he only stayed bc no one else would “love” him and he had nowhere to go anyway. so it probably was a relief for him to finally find someone around the same age as himself. someone he knows can be there for him. someone who he knows won’t just see him as a sexual or beautiful object, or someone to be repulsed or hated. to elbie, in his childhood, al probably was the manifestation of a “safe place” that his parents and his servants should have given him, but ultimately failed to give.

well, that said, their friendship is unorthodox in some ways too, probably in part due to al’s curse. after all, they play all these risky games together (except the coin toss), and in elbie’s route there was a time when al had disappeared for some time bc elbie was at a point where he nearly died, and when kate questioned al where he was, he shrugged it off, but said that he didn’t like the idea that he might feel relief at the prospect that elbie would die before him — and this isn’t bc al doesn’t like elbie, but rather the opposite, as if elbie dies before al, he will die remembering him. you could say the fact their friendship has sort of that “twist” to it is bc elbie had reached out to al and kept him by his side, along with the curses sorta fvcking with especially al’s mind.

the other likely possible reason is that elbie wanted to help him. overall elbie is very sensitive especially to other people’s sadness or other negative feelings and doesn’t want anyone to be sad, so it wouldn’t surprise me if he had picked up on the fact that al, for all the facades he may put up, suffers from depressive symptoms. like, there were points in his route where he was genuinely out to die. i believe roger mentions this as well- though i think the relationship between al and roger warrants a whole separate post from this one lmao but the thing is, elbie wanting him to live, or rather not letting him die, would go against al’s wishes. and that could be why he keeps a secret on his end abt it?

so tldr on that point: aside from the fact he may just want to have his fun keeping a mystery on al (like al himself is like that mysterious™️ character anyway so what’s wrong with elbie keeping a mystery of his own too, yknow?) he may be keeping it a secret out of consideration, too, maybe?? because even if al wants to die, elbie, and roger, would never let that happen. i think elbie does want al to keep living, even if he’s aware he does have suicidal thoughts. and this is evident in al’s route.

al’s words had saved elbie as a child, and so elbie probably wants to do the same for al.

of course there could be other reasons, but i’d say these are probably two of the more likely? ones if i had to guess!

#ask #anon #ikemen villains #ikevil elbert #ikevil elbert greetia #elbert greetia #ikemen villains elbert #ikevil alfons #ikevil alfons sylvatica #ikemen villains alfons #alfons sylvatica

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godspeedviper · 4 months ago

Text

Everything is in order first by length of post, then by alphabetical order of title. Minor descriptions and triggers have been listed alongside each link. Please click through the underlined text to be redirected to the post of your choosing. Each post has more detailed triggers before the actual content so please do heed the warnings. An Ao3 link has been added to every single post at the bottom, so scroll to the end of the fic of your choosing if you would prefer to be redirected to Ao3. Happy reading!

Header and Dividers by Saradika

Fics & Series

100mg of Sunshine - How Sunshine the bird came into Malcolm's life. (SFW || Character Study || Mental Illness)

The Arkham County Jane Doe - Hannibal Lecter x F!Reader x Jonathan Crane +18 (Spitroasting || Manipulation || Obsession || Threesomes || Asylums || Doctor/Patient Relationship)

Bunker Babe - Spencer Reid x Goth!Reader +18 (drug use || semi public sex || non gendered descriptions for reader)

Christian Woman - Southern Jonathan Crane x Preacher's Daughter Reader +18 (mentions of underage drinking & smoking)

Disco Inferno - Jack Delroy x F!Reader +18 (PiV || fingering || drug use || semi public sex)

Fangirl - Joker x F!Reader +18 (CNC/dubcon || knifeplay || blood)

Hell is Real - Jonathan Crane x Psychiatrist Reader (SFW || Character Study || No Smut)

Minuetto - Hannibal x F!Reader +18 (dubcon || clothing kink || pain play || manipulation)

Mr Brightside - Malcolm Bright x The Corinthian +18 (gore || dream sex || murder || dead dove do not eat)

Preacher's Daughter - Jonathan Crane x Preacher's Daughter Reader +18 (gun kink || inappropriate use of prayer || church sex)

Saturday Night Fever - Jack Delroy x F!Reader (SFW || sickfic || fluff)

Sex Magic - Late Night With The Devil x The Love Witch crossover +18 (cults || ritual drug use || blood)

Smoke Break - Jonathan Crane and Harley Quinn share a smoke break for the first time since their fall from grace, reflecting on the evolution of their relationship from student and professor, to colleagues, and now as villains. (can be read as platonic or romantic)

Headcanons

Doctor Characters Handling Your Sick Days (SFW)

Hannibal x Reader with BPD (gender neutral)

Pride at Arkham Asylum (SFW)

Spencer Reid x Reader who dresses vintage (gender neutral)

Spencer Reid x Goth Reader (gender neutral)

Therapist Characters Handling Your "Worst" Symptoms (SFW)

Therapist Characters Handling Your Suspicions (SFW)

Moodboards

Jonathan Crane: Southern Gothic

Poison Ivy: Body Horror

The Riddler: Matthew Gray Gubler Fancast

Hannibal: Made in His Image

Jonathan Crane: Caleb Landry Jones Fancast

Morpheus: The Sandman

Harley Quinn: Halston Sage Fancast

The Corinthian: The Loneliness of the Eye

Selina Kyle: Stealing Happiness

Mad Hatter: Absurdities

Character Tags

Arkham: Arkham Asylum aesthetic (tw medical tools, needles, hospital imagery etc)

Cannibalcore: Hannibal Lecter aesthetic. (tw blood, meat, baroque and gothic religious symbolism)

Clown Prince: Joker aesthetic. (tw knives, blood, violence, antisocial personality, rage art, vent art, scary clowns, etc)

Crane Coded: Jonathan Crane aesthetic (tw religious trauma, frightening artwork, guns, needles etc)

Harleen: Harley Quinn aesthetic (tw violence, hybristophillia)

Hattercore: Jervis Tetch aesthetic (tw medical experiments, paranoia, artistic interpretations of psychoses)

Ivycore: Pamela Isley aesthetic (tw body horror)

Riddles: Ed Nygma/Nashton aesthetic (tw paranoia, horror art)

Selina: Catwoman/Selina Kyle aesthetic (tw crimes, theft, etc)

Challenges

Kinktober 2024 Masterlist

Recommendations

Fic Recs

Movie Recs

Song Recs

UPDATED 2024/10/01

#masterlist #navigation #housekeeping

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jewishregulus · 8 months ago

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hold on because your thing with alecto carrow & the carrow twins……… you really did something there

listen okay i could go so crazy about them . i have so much lore trapped away in my brain . but i am going to summarize so fast and quick bc they drive me crazy….

general info abt both of them : they r born in japan bc the carrow family moves there post grindlewald and their mom dies and when she dies they move back to the england but they r poor af after everything so pureblood society looks down on them for being traitors. cue them fighting the entire wizaridng war to be given respect and seen as a genuine member of the sacred 28 and using intimidation and violence to do so… a if i cannot be better than them i will be so much worse moment . their dad is normal and loves them very much they just choose to be evil like that. their mom was a sweet angel also and everyday i cry over her even tho i invented her to be dead . whatever

alecto has a weird misandrist complex in which she hates men but is also performing for them all the time , a man hating lesbian who also can’t escape using the patriarchy to validate her skills and ambition. she loves spiders bc they are matriarchal . she bases her worth off of how well she appeals to others and has so her whole life to the point she barely has a sense of self . she wants to kiss lily evans on the mouth and she worships her like an absolute angel it’s serious and vicious . the few scraps of herself she has left are all about knowledge. she is obsessed w language and translation and tries to learn literally any language she can ever . despite this she still can’t give herself a voice . she wants barty crouch jr dead for the crime of being a man and a degenerate which like fair of her . evan n reg r chill tho bc game respects game . i think if she got the chance to explore Life she’d actually choose to become a teacher like voldemort Made her become , but she would be actually pretty good tbh. her and barty regularly brawl in the teachers lounge. alecto kicks his ass. in the modern college au in my head they are regrettably roommates and each conversation they have sets gay lesbian solidarity back 15 years . alecto is studying classics and women’s studies as a minor …. ik feminism is a big part of her character but chat do not reduce her to this u don’t get it … she has a deep connection to lady macbeth and the movie the handmaids tale . here is her vibe :

and amycus is his mothers son who does whatever alecto wants him to bc he just wants to be by her side. they are so aggressively co dependent . he is obsessed w magical plants and herbology and his favorite thing in the world is a magical venus flytrap he keeps in his dorm that evan keeps putting random drops of blood into the mouth of . his dream career would probably be using magical plants to make new medicines n poisons n such . hogwarts resident weed dealer . therefore he n barty r actually chill . he just misses his mom like so much 😭 he is consistently in morning over the life he could have had . he’s pretty good friends w everyone he’s not like a loner but he is lonely deep in his chest…… of course bc alecto is his sister #feministwomenloveamycuscarrow . every carrow is linked to an insect in my head and amycus is a praying mantis . …. he has the same capability for cruelty like he also is on the field w alecto during the war but like he’d rather be gardening :/. modern college au he’s probably studying biology and is the rlly menacing president of the gardening club. and u think this means he is secretly sweet but he’s literally evil. him n reg have a crazy friendship going in in which they do the craziest romantic shit but it is completely platonic. i’m talking like candle lit dinners . in my head he has a weird situationship w rabastan (who is another story….) but also i have a *whispers* oc….. who in the fic i have planned for them in my head (which i will never write) he ends up w and his name is maxx <3 but i will never talk abt ocs on here . i have some shame. amycus would follow alecto to hell if she asked (he just wishes she would stop going the- *car runs me over*)

here’s amycus vibes

i have so much more i could say abt them . there is so much in my head they have such a deep and complex story … i will take any excuse to yap abt them . anyways they are both gay and one day i will write the alectolily sugar mommy au in which lily is the sugar mommy bc she’s a super famous author n alecto works at an antique book store doing translation n repair <3333 and it’s completely accidental lily keeps paying to borrow these super old books and eventually she just pays for alecto to come over and help her research and then one thing leads to another . and alecto is guffawed when she realizes. amycus. thinks it his hilarious. i think her and lily would have an academic rivals to loves thing going on in canon and in like Any school setting but also just in general. they could be 5 years into their relationship and still competing to be the smartest . i think there is rosekiller alectolily double date hilarity potential. also have a lot of thoughts abt them paralleling to the rosier twins but what do i know … i will leave that to the masters ….

anyways that was my yapping . hope someone felt enthralled .

#alecto carrow #amycus carrow #marauders era #marauders #death eaters #yap tag #there is so much more to say this barelt scratches the surface #unfortunately i work for 9 an hour at a chain pet store so i cannot yap

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the-skeleton-speaks · 3 months ago

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6 Songs Tav-Tag

Thanks @gale-dekarios for tagging!!! I feel awkward tagging lots of ppl and uhhhh sorgy random ppl in my notifs if you looked like you had a tav I chose you 😔🫶

Tagging: @hamartia-grander , @mosses-gate-3 , @bohamod, @million-flowerthebard

it was hard to choose between Cyfrin and Belir but I'm going with Cyfrin (durge) and because I'm a yapper I'm giving a tiny explanation to each song

Break for your dash lmao this got long

Event that describes your character's past

------

We went the two of us into

The woods behind our little school

Two went in and one came home

We didn't go in there alone

---

Ough this song is so perfect for the first time Bhaal chose Cyfrin, taking interest in his morbid curiosity. He has a dream he goes into the woods with his best friend. They play and do as they usually do, then Cyfrin gets his first Urge. He's a kid, 13 at most, and can't resist the god that's chosen him. He wakes up with blood on his hands, surrounded by darkened woods.

----

2. How would your character describe themselves

-----

Carving my initials in the back

Of my hand in case of losing track

I forgot, remember to forgive

It's times like this that that make me wish that

I wish that I could live, I don't wish I could live

But somebody's got to stay

--------

Before he rejects Bhaal Cyfrin views himself as something dangerous, something that shouldn't exist but pushes through it, doing everything he can to fight the memory loss and Urges so he can protect and help the companions who he grows so intensely fond of.<3

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3. How others view them

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Yes you know that I'm a happy man

But something in me is burning

I gotta push it, push it out, push it

So much frustration

------

Despite what Cyfrin tries to hide behind a care-free neutral demeanor, the companions can tell he's struggling with not only his urges but morally as well. His actions can seem contradictory and for some that makes them wary of how he will react to various situations.

----

4. Closest relationship (romantic or platonic)

(I couldn't add the song link because it kept causing the post to break and refused to post but it's Me and My Husband by Mitski)

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So I bet all I have on that

Furrowed brow

And at least in this lifetime

We're sticking together

Me and my husband

We're sticking together

----

I take poison damage from Gale and Cyfrin istg /vpos

AUGHH I love them sm Cyfrin views Gale as such a safehouse, even just being near him makes him feel so much safer and while he wonders how Gale fell in love with him in the first place, he Never doubts Gale loves him unconditionally.

------

5. A major fight

Cut me with your vicious tongue

Make me taste what I've become The violence, the violence

The perfect prayer

------

This song really scratches my brain for the big Orin duel. Like Cyfrin going "Fine, you want to mock me for my resistance of Father? I'll show you why He made me as I am." And destroying Orin just as Bhaal intended, then turning around and completely denouncing him ("I will worship as I please") AUGHHH I'm normal about this ok.

-----

6. End credits song

------

There's no lyrics here. It really feels like the perfect mix of like, a new excitement for the future while still being almost tense enough to remind you that Cyfrin has a long way to go in terms of healing himself from Bhaal and a lot of things to unlearn.

Cyfrins full playlist here

#the skeleton speaks #bg3 #dark urge #durge #cyfrin #ive had to redo the latter half four times PUHLEASEEE POSTTTTT #MITSKI KEEPS BREAKING THE POST NOOOO #Spotify #baulders gate 3 #tav bg3 #durge bg3

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tripodmaximum · 1 year ago

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Hey guys. I love the tripod and spent my whole Sunday listening to you guys. I have been a fan for a long time yet you had a lot of new interesting info I didn't know yet. Great job and professionally done!

can you make an episode about "fanons" (fan headcanons) that are big in the fandom, or the bigolasdickolas incident, or more about what you think will happen in the final season predictions?

Also can you discuss the biggest mysteries like Wolfwoods age, Vash's and Knives gender, Vash's love interest

Can you compare the endings of trimax and 98 and predict how stampede will end

and how the human vs plant conflict could possibly be solved?

also who are you fav characters, ships and scenes in the anime/manga?

Hello dear nonny,

We are so grateful for your support & ecstatic you are enjoying the podcast!!!

Excellent suggestions!!! We have lots in store for future episodes, and rest assured suggestions like yours are pulled into consideration! In the meantime, here’s an answer for your last question:

Favorite Character / Ship / Scene

@aubielikey: Fav character is Vash!! He is Everything to me.

I enjoy lots of ships…fav to write/draw is VashMeryl, but fav overall might be VashWood???

Fav scene is hard to choose, but I think…Trimax Vash approaching his final conflict (Vol 12 Ch 1). The panels are gorgeous, and it is so, so poignant.

@chaoticbuka: Wolfwood is really interesting to me right now. Milly has been my ride or die since 2003.

I am genuinely Multiship. Currently participating in the VW big bang while simultaneously up to my nose in MerylWood brain rot.

As far as favorite scenes? Anything related to project seeds flashbacks; I love the lore.

@museqmeg: Vash my beloved. (He was my first anime crush back in the day!)

I adore both vashmeryl & vashwood. They’re the most canon to the story and I’m a canon girly. I create for vashmeryl but consume so much vashwood. I just love to see Vash love and be loved.

My favorite scene in Trimax is a bit of a silly one, but I adore the end when Vash “accidentally” admits his feelings (platonic/romantic-pick your poison) for Meryl by saying “We’re good together, aren’t we?” The panels after that are adorable. The surprised faces on Milly and Meryl with Vash blushing at them get me everytime. I love them all dearly.

@tombiwidgeon: I almost feel like I have to put Vash aside to pick a fav char because he's a given xD I'm going to go with Meryl in her new expanded role in Tristamp. She gets to play a much bigger part in the story, and in fact drives much of it forward. Her impetus to find the truth of the humanoid typhoon, who she only ever saw as a man even before meeting him, catapults her to right where she needs, and wants to be, to make a difference, especially in Ju Lai.

I multiship most everyone, though VashMeryl is my OTP.

Favorite scene was the hardest. I finally landed on Vash running to the sound of Meryl's/Rem's voice in S1 Ep12. The way Orange animated his desperation, including him wiping his hand across his face, just touched me so deeply. They are masters of their craft.

Love and peace!!!

#tripod maximum #trigun #trigun podcast #trigun stampede #trigun maximum #answers

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full---ofstarlight · 3 months ago

Text

six-song soundtrack!

Rules: If you're tagged, make a new post with links to music and/or lyrics describing the following:

An event that defines your character's past

How your character sees themselves

How others view them

Their closest relationship (platonic or romantic)

A major fight scene

End credits song

tagged by @sun-marie!!

I did it for Avis Hawke since she is top of my mind r now lmao

An event that defines your character's past - Welcome to the Black Parade, MCR

How your character sees themselves - Immortals, Fall Out Boy

How others view them - The Last Great American Dynasty, Taylor Swift

Their closest relationship (platonic or romantic) - Poison and Wine, The Civil Wars/I Will Follow You Into the Dark, Death Cab for Cutie

A major fight scene - No Mercy, PVRIS

End credits song - I Know the End, Phoebe Bridgers

THOUGHTS below the cut <3

An event that defines your character's past

Welcome to the Black Parade - My Chemical Romance

youtube

He said, "Son, when you grow up Would you be the savior of the broken The beaten and the damned?" He said, "Will you defeat them? Your demons, and all the non-believers The plans that they have made?" "Because one day, I'll leave you a phantom To lead you in the summer To join the black parade"

When I started DAII was also when my brain decided the only thing it wanted to listen to was My Chemical Romance. Therefore, Avis and MCR are interlinked in my mind. And also, I think that this song is… so much of her and Malcolm’s relationship. (And Mama is her and Leandra yeoch)

How your character sees themselves

They say we are what we are

But we don't have to be

I'm bad behavior, but I do it in the best way

I'll be the watcher (Watcher)

Of the eternal flame

I'll be the guard dog of all your fever dreams

youtube

Immortals by Fall-Out boy which I constantly forget is from Big Hero 6 actually lmao. I just think it really fits her, especially end game.

How others view them

Sorry to be a Swiftie on main but, “The Last Great American Dynasty”

And they said

"There goes the last great American dynasty

Who knows, if she never showed up, what could've been

There goes the maddest woman this town has ever seen

She had a marvelous time ruining everything"

youtube

I feel like this is the general post game view everyone in Kirkwall and Thedas has. This is Cassandra POV actually.

Their closest relationship (platonic or romantic)

Carver - Familial: Poison and Wine - The Civil Wars

I wish you'd hold me when I turn my back

The less I give the more I get back

Ooh, your hands can heal, your hands can bruise

I don't have a choice, but I still choose you

youtube

Listen. I know this is a song about a failing romantic relationship. BUT I love it way more if it’s about a tense familial relationship. Because the idea that you’re tied to this person that you’ve failed, that has failed you, but you still love them and you still want them in your life? Delicious. 10/10.

Anders - Romantic: “I Will Follow You Into the Dark” - Death Cab for Cutie

youtube

Love of mine, someday you will die

But I'll be close behind, I'll follow you into the dark

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white

Just our hands clasped so tight, waiting for the hint of a spark

Listen I went back and forth with multiple songs on their very good playlist, but settled on this.

A major fight scene

No Mercy - PVRIS

This place is going up in flames and

We watch and we wait

And I think I kinda like the way it

It burns in my face

There's blood in the water but it tastes so sweet (tastes so sweet)

The sky is on fire, let it rain on me

youtube

… is this not the final DAII fight?

End credits song

… is it cheating to do I’m Not Caling You A Liar?

JK — “I Know The End” By Phoebe Bridgers

Either way, we're not alone I'll find a new place to be from A haunted house with a picket fence To float around and ghost my friends

No, I'm not afraid to disappear The billboard said, "The end is near" I turned around, there was nothing there Yeah, I guess the end is here

youtube

... and since I just tagged a ton of people i am not going to tag anyone r now BUT pls say i did and tag me i love this meme a lot ahaha

#char avis hawke #Youtube

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themuseoftheviolets · 1 year ago

Text

former friends

sat down to write 'til my dying day last night but ended up writing emmeline and pandora post first war angst instead. so here, have this: (this was intended as platonic but i feel like it can also be read as romantic from pandora's side)

wc: 1,148

On top of a hill behind a house in the shape of a rook, stands a place of rest. It is not quite a graveyard, and there no bodies buried there, no uneasy souls to haunt the people who live within it's space.

Emmeline approaches the gravestones and spits on them.

"Why did you bring me here?" She asks, keeping her gaze on the plaques. The first one reads beloved friend, the second beloved brother. Emmeline feels rage forming in the pit of her stomach. That word doesn't belong there, to these people. There is nothing about them to love anymore.

At least not for Emmeline. But for the woman that is standing behind her, they were worth loyalty that they didn't deserve.

"Because I wanted to see you, because I miss you." Pandora says, and Emmeline scoffs.

"You lost the right to miss me when you sided with them." There is venom on her tongue now, spitting poison onto every person she talks to. It has been this way for years, she can no longer remember what it felt like to be soft.

"I didn't choose a side." Pandora says, stubborn and unyielding, like she's always been.

"But you did.” Emmeline argues, and her voice is raspy and ragged. “You saw the snakes on their arms and you still let them be in your life. You chose them."

“They were my friends.”

“I was your friend!” Emmeline snaps, turning around to face Pandora. She looks both sixteen and sixty, both light and heavy. She has a baby strapped to her chest, a child that Emmeline has never met, a child that she should have met. She takes a deep breath, holds it for as long as she can until it starts to burn her lungs, then releases. “And you sure as hell didn’t choose me.”

"You chose to erase six years of history." Pandora says. Her voice isn’t the same anymore, changed by years of screaming matches and curses. It’s a wonder their vocal cords still work at all, Emmeline thinks. “You love them, I know you do. You can say whatever you want to your new friends, tell whichever lie helps you sleep at night, but I know you want them back just as much as I do.”

“No, I don’t.” Emmeline shakes her head. The lie comes easily, after years of practice. She has told it to herself and to Dorcas and to every person in the Order. She tells it to her reflection in the mirror everyday, repeats it like affirmations whenever she looks at the stick and poke tattoo on her leg that she let Evan do in sixth year; the one matching with Barty, the design that Regulus drew for them.

I hate them, she thinks, I hope they rot in hell. Fuck Regulus Black, fuck Evan Rosier, fuck Barty Crouch Jr.

Sometimes, she’ll say fuck Pandora, too.

I hope their deaths were slow and painful, I hope Barty suffers for the rest of his life.

On particularly hard nights, she’ll drink half a bottle of firewhiskey and she’ll wish that Pandora is miserable for the rest of her life.

But now, when she looks into her former friend’s eyes, looks at the bundle of white hair resting against her chest, she can’t quite bring herself to curse her.

“I miss you.” Pandora says, and Emmeline knows it’s true. Pandora is many things, but a liar is not one of them. She and Emmeline are opposites that way. “Don’t you miss me?”

“I can’t forgive you.” Emmeline lies again, because she can’t help it. Cruelty sits at the tip of her tongue, the truth lays buried deep inside her chest.

Pandora looks hurt by it, and in this moment Emmeline hates herself more than she hates her former friends.

“I am not asking you to forgive me, or them.” Pandora says, taking a step forward. She is eye to eye with Emmeline and stares her down with a courage that Emmeline has never possessed. All she wants to do is look away, avoid Pandora's presence because it is easier to tell herself she never wants to see her again that way. Easier to lose someone you love when you're not seeing them everyday. “I want you in my life again, Emmy, I want you in Luna’s life. You were supposed to be her godmother, you and Re–”

She cuts herself off but Emmeline knows what she was going to say. You and Regulus, my best friends, my child’s protectors. Guilt is an ocean in her mind that she dives in daily, anger is the sand she lays on when she dries herself off.

It wasn't always this way. Before any hints of war, before there were lines drawn and sides chosen, before Emmeline chose Dorcas and her friends and Pandora chose the friends with the Dark Mark on their arms; before all of that, they were a tight group, a family.

Emmeline, Pandora, Evan, Barty, Regulus.

But now the war is over and Regulus and Evan are dead, Barty is in Azkaban, and Emmeline and Pandora are still on a battlefield but Pandora is laying down her weapons, waving a white flag while Emmeline is still aiming an arrow at her chest.

“I love you, Emmy.” Pandora says, her eyes filling with tears. It breaks Emmeline’s heart, rips it right out of her chest. “I want you back.”

She could stay, could go inside the house and meet Pandora’s new life and be a part of it. She could stop fighting and she could admit that she misses her friends. She could hold Luna in her arms and tell her bedtime stories.

She doesn’t. Instead, Emmeline chooses to break Pandora’s heart in return.

“I’m leaving.” She tells her, voice firm and leaving no room for arguments. “Mary and I are moving away.”

“Mary,” Pandora spits her name like it��s poison. “Mary Macdonald, isn’t it? Your new friends’ friend. You’re choosing her instead of me.”

“Yes.”

Pandora turns to look at the gravestones and Emmeline wants to ask her if it was worth it, if they were worth it. She wants to say I told you so, to rub it in Pandora’s face that she made the wrong choice, and has lost Emmeline because of it. That Evan, Regulus and Barty were never going to change, that she should have cut them off like Emmeline did. That she should have chosen a side and that it shouldn't have been theirs. She wants to poke at Pandora's wounds until they are as big and bloody as her own. Until there is no hope of healing.

Was it worth it? Would you do it again?

She doesn’t, though, and Pandora simply nods and says, “I hope you’re happy.” before going back inside her house.

Emmeline is left standing in the ruins of her own heart.

#omg i totally forgot to post this earlier #in my defense the passage of time isn't real #emdora #pandaline #emmeline vance #pandora lovegood #minifics #lia's writing adventures

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