#<- pep talk to myself :P

[b-blushes]

also the power of It Being The Next day cannot be underestimated! sure things might not be 'better' but i am awake on a new day! sure you can reset at any time of day but it's kinda nice when the world around you is doing it with you!

[fluffairy]

.

[cocteaucherry]

another silly gojo thing I wrote with pregnant reader (I was inspired by Kali’s pregnancy announcement 🩷)

a/n- (I promise pt 3 of LTLM is coming out later today or tomorrow)

cw- pregnancy, talks of sexual situations, gojo being gojo :p

The day Satoru found out you were pregnant was a day you’ll never forget.

It was a freezing morning in January and you had just finished taking down the Christmas decorations (yeah it was a few weeks after Christmas but you both were lazy) you let out a huff wiping your hands as you stared at the old cardboard boxes that housed the glittery decorations, it made you feel more emotional than usual seeing yet another year pass.

You heard the door burst open and you turned to find your husband dragging in a bunch of wires and lights, “ six hundred twinkling lights taken down by your one and only!” He exclaimed, dropping the lights and using his foot to close the door, “you sure? I could’ve sworn I heard you on the verge of using Hollow Purple.” You said playfully as you gazed lovingly at your husband.

“What?! No! I was of course gonna take you out of the house first!” The blue eyed male chuckled as he walked towards you immediately wrapping his arms around your waist, “I think I deserve a kiss for my bravery and perseverance.” He hummed his hands running over the slight pudge in your stomach, “Do you really?” You peered up at his face to be met with a very shocked expression, you chuckled nervously staring at his over exaggerated face.

Gojo could tell something was off for the past few days, frequent bathroom trips, slight nausea in the morning and your missed period. (He might be the strongest but he’s not the smartest) and now your cursed energy was changing he sensed it when he walked in it was almost doubled. “I mean this is the BEST way possible, let me stress BEST, are you somehow maybe- just a little bit ermm.. pregnant?”

Your mind went blank at the question, “Maybe?” You shrugged your shoulders, “it would make sense..” your mind tried to calculate the last time you and Gojo were intimate but Gojo calculated for you, “Christmas.” He said his mouth was still wide open, “yeah , maybe wrapping myself like a present wasn’t the best idea.” You giggled and Satoru was quick to retort with a red face, “you practically had nothing on! You can’t blame me!” Gojo pouted, rubbing the back of his neck, “can we go buy some tests to confirm your theory?”

About seven tests later it was confirmed, you were pregnant.

Of course tears and hugs were shared and you wanted to share the news with your friends but Gojo stopped you claiming he wanted to see how long you both could go unnoticed, he also opted to buy a camcorder to track your happy moments. It was more of a nostalgia thing. (Even while you're pregnant he’s still dramatic.)

By the time you were breaching your second trimester a lot of things changed, for worse and better, the spare room in your house was converted into a full baby room, all constructed by gojo himself since he was terrified of you getting injured. The baby room was filled with expensive baby materials and toys, “Satoru.. are you sure this isn’t too much?” You stared at the room in disbelief, your hand stroking your bump, He grunted, placing a heavy box with more materials down, “What? Think I can go bigger?” He winked and opened the package.

“We don’t even know the gender yet? you yelled walking down the hallway to lay down.

Everyone in Satoru’s life knew something was up, he walked with more pep in his step and glowed even more than he already was.

“So does anyone know what’s up with Gojo-sensei?” Yuji questioned sitting on his bed, Kugusaki and Megumi on the floor visibly not listening. “Don’t know, don’t really care either.” Megumi deadpanned which earned a grin from Kugisaki, “Not sure Yuuji, have you tried asking his wife?” she asked, peering from her phone. “She hasn’t been around here in like months!” The pink haired boy exclaimed failing to connect the dots but Megumi did for him.

“Maybe she’s expecting.” He shrugged it off going back to type on his phone, “What?! You mean they-they-“ yuuji stuttered.

“Yuuji they are adults, plus it would make sense right after the holidays too. So she’d be about.."Kugisaki counted in her head, “second trimester?”

“You guys are taking this a little too well?!” Yuuji exclaimed, “oh Kugisaki and I made our own theory a few weeks ago-“

“And you didn’t tell me?!-“

Later that day you had a teary eyed pink haired teenager yapping at the door about how you didn’t tell him sooner.

[ramp-it-up]

Worth the Fall

Summary: James Bucky Barnes WAS an avowed bachelor and one night stand artist. You came along and knocked him on his face. Despite the fact you have questions about Bucky and your parents’ conversation at Thanksgiving, you’re hitting your groove as a couple, but there is no time for alone time.

Word count: 3.4 K

Pairing: Art Dealer (mob boss) Bucky Barnes x Reader

A/N: This part of the story is getting everything caught up to a month ago, lmao. Thank you for continuing to rock with this story. And let me know if you like it (I hope you do!)

This fic is in the Knock You Down AU, and comes immediately after both You've Got Me Thinking and the Steve Rogers fic Peach III.

Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. Read at your own risk. Smut! Initial angst, Steve and Peach, Bucky’s anxiety. No time for nookie! Flirting Intimations of sexting and phone sex. Praise kink, fluffy Bucky, horny Bucky, dom Bucky. F@cking versus making love, wall time, sex with clothes on, raw p in v, creampie, after care, intimations of oral (f receiving!) dirty talk, Bucky applies for a second job. Not Beta'd. All errors my own.

I no longer have a taglist. Please follow @rampitupandread and turn on notifications to learn when I post! 😘

I Do NOT Consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.

————

You walked along the sand and inhaled the ocean air.

You were shaken to the core. 

Bucky Barnes had surely just taken your parents out to ask for your hand in marriage. But it was so soon, how could he be so sure?

Also, you were an independent woman. How dare he talk to your parents before he asked you to marry him!

He wasn’t your feudal lord.

You were scared witless and turned to the waves to try and calm down. 

“He loves the hell out of you, you know.”

Steve had fallen in beside you as you stared at the ocean. You looked up at him, trying to smile, but failing. To Steve you looked terrified.

“It’s just so….”

Steve smiled to himself, remembering that Bucky had purchased the ring weeks before, after just a few days of knowing you. But that wasn’t his story to tell.

“Just know that I’ve never seen him like this. And I’ve known him since we were kids. He’s never been so open, so determined with a woman before. You make him a better man. It’s truly amazing.”

Steve looked so earnest. Your cousin had done quite a number on him.

“You don’t have to be scared. You are ‘The One’ for him.”

This time you managed a smile and an arched eyebrow. You had a feeling that he wasn’t just talking about his best friend.

Steve chuckled.

“Gah. Don’t look at me like that. You and Peach and that eyebrow.”

You laughed at that and grinned, more relaxed now.

Steve looked off into the waves himself.

“So fucking cute…”

He looked down and kicked a rock, a small smile on his face. You could tell he had it bad.

“Thanks for the pep talk Steve-o. And I get what you’re saying. I love Bucky Barnes with all my might, making every other relationship I’ve ever had seem… trivial.”

You glanced at Steve, who was nodding at your sentiment.

“I’m just spooked at the possibilities. I mean…this seems…like a lot.”

“I know. Bucky gets intense.”

You rolled your eyes at him. 

“Understatement of the year. And you’re a lot like your friend.”

Steve looked at you, one eye closed from the sunlight in his eyes. He didn’t have any sunglasses and the sun highlighted his windswept hair and the planes of his handsome face. You were squinting at him and you could totally see why Peach let him touch her goodies. 

Steve was kinda hot.

You sighed.

“Listen. I’ll be alright. Bucky and I just need to chat.”

Steve smirked.

“Chat. Is that what the kids call it now?”

You laughed and swatted him on the arm as you continued walking again.

“Fuck you, Steve. But for real. Thank you for checking on me. I appreciate it. And I love you for it. I just wish my cousin could see this side of you.”

Steve scoffed.

“Fucked that up good, didn’t I?”

“Not gonna lie, she’s kinda blinded by rage right now. But don’t give up on her. She’ll come around.”

Steve looked at you skeptically and you shrugged.

“80– 75% chance she’ll come around.”

You both laughed.

“Just remember what I said yesterday. She’s a tough nut, but she has a huge heart behind that wall. She is determined about the success of that dance school and she is competitive as fuck. You know what to do.”

Steve grinned. 

“Yes ma’am, I do.”

—-

You and Steve re-entered the kitchen laughing, you holding on to his arm. 

Peach was at the table drinking coffee and dedicated to ignoring Steve.

“Thanks again for the pep talk Steve. I appreciate it.”

You gave him a long hug and when you separated, you saw Peach’s eyebrow cocked in what you could only imagine was the way Steve described. You stifled a giggle and leaned up on your tiptoe to kiss his cheek.

“You better stop before Bucky comes back and chops me in the throat.”

Peach humphed, and you knew exactly what she was thinking.

You laughed at Steve as he headed toward the stairs, ignoring Peach right back.

“I’m gonna go get my running shoes. A turn down the beach will help me get some of this tension out.”

You watched Peach as she watched Steve roll his neck and stretch on his way out of the room, her coffee stalled in mid air. Her head was on a swivel as he walked out of the room, checking out his formidable ass. She sighed and then remembered that you were there.

You looked at her and she looked at you.

“Shut the fuck up.”

“I didn’t say a word, cousin. Yet. But we will talk later. Any coffee left?”

—-

The week ended up smoother than when Bucky and Steve arrived, and before you and he and Steve left on the jet back to New York, Bucky surprised everyone with an invitation to Vermont for Christmas. 

Your heart did a funny little thing because why would he invite your entire family on an all expense holiday vacation from Christmas Eve to New Years unless he was going to…

You couldn’t dwell on what ifs, and you didn’t want to spook yourself. You just decided to appreciate the moment.

It was funny watching your cousin’s face and the corresponding look on Steve’s. Maybe this trip wouldn’t be stressful at all.

Perhaps there would be entertainment.

—---

Later, back in Brooklyn, there was a whirlwind of activity as the Rebirth Foundation geared up for the annual summit and gala. 

During the second week in December, Rebirth Endowment recipients (which included your cousin this year!) flew in, were oriented and toured around New York City. The two culminating events were the summit, held at NYU, where there was an art lecture series, a panel, and the gala. 

Steve usually participated in the summit by himself, with Sam or Natasha sometimes joining him on stage along with the city’s movers and shakers in the art scene.

But this year Bucky was participating.

He said he wanted to be more prominent in the Art community moving forward as a path toward legitimacy, and you knew that tangentially, that had something to do with you.

When you got back from Thanksgiving, there was a week to prepare for the activities. Your Arts and Culture Alliance in Brownsville, as a part of Rebirth through the Howard Benson exhibit, was a stop on the tour, and you had a ton of work to do. 

Bucky and his three partners obviously had their own long list of to dos, but he also needed to be there for Steve, who was a wreck at the thought of Peach coming into town. 

Steve was so far gone.

But James Buchanan Barnes.

You’d never seen Bucky Barnes shook. 

Sure, you’d seen him excited, impatient, horny, angry, and a little irritated, but never truly nervous.

And you shouldn’t have thought it, but it was adorable. 

Friday night, you met your cousin at the airport and witnessed the beginning of her downfall. The cocktail reception later at the hotel had her, and by proxy your own, head spinning. 

You grinned at the way Steve was handling everything. 

Bucky was beautiful and you admired him as he toasted the guests, his beautiful tenor a nice contrast from Steve’s baritone as they both gave their salutations. Only you knew how anxious he was to speak in front of people and for everything to go well. You felt privileged.

You realized that James Buchanan Barnes was a good man who just wanted to be better for you and for his community.

And suddenly you were not afraid of a future with him.

—-

During this time, you two shared brief cuddles and quick kisses, furtive touches and brief bouts of handholding when you saw each other at events. The mornings meant salacious pictures and quick phone sex to take the edge off, but you weren’t able to luxuriate in each other as you usually did.

You missed Bucky’s full attention, but the fact that you were working together on something worthwhile was the shit. You loved this man and you wanted to work beside him as an equal, not just be his sex toy.

This was the week that you fell completely in love with Bucky Barnes.

Thursday was the day of the Rebirth Art Summit and Bucky was pacing up and down his home office, reading glasses switching locations from perched on top of his head, to his delectable mouth, to his handsome face as he reviewed his notes.

You looked up from the ones in your hands with which you were quizzing him and smiled at him.

“Jamie, it’s going to be okay.”

He stopped to look at you, a faint smile on his face. He came over and pecked you on the lips and gave you a hug.

“‘M so glad you are here tonight, even though you tried to stay away.”

You sighed into his chest and took a deep breath, inhaling his Bucky smell.

“I wasn’t trying to avoid you, I was just giving you space. I know tomorrow is important to you and I don’t want to distract—”

“Frumoasă. You don’t distract from anything. If anything, you add to my life. You add so, so much. I love you. And I miss you. I want you here with me tonight.”

You melted into him, chuckled and shook your head as he held you. This feeling was crazy.

“What?”

You heard his voice in his chest, but he didn’t move, except to sway just a little, as if soothing you. It worked.

“I love you too, Bucky. And I miss you too. So much. It’s wild to feel so much in such a short amount of time.”

You and Bucky had only been together about three months, but you knew this was it.

“When you know, you know, my love. And we shouldn’t waste any more time.”

You hugged him tighter. What was understood didn’t need to be said.

He kissed the top of your head and then moved back so he could see into your eyes.

“And having you in my space while I get ready for an important event is everything.”

You looked him in the eye, thinking of sucking his dick for being such a dream.

“Bucky…”

Bucky took your hand and raised it to his lips.

“Don’t look at me like that, Frumoasă. I will be forced to fuck you all night long, something that is long overdue.”

He kissed your forehead.

“But there is much work to do.”

You cast your eyes down and whispered, “You’re right.”

Bucky took you in, looking so demure and being so patient with him. It was such a turn on.

“Such a Good Girl for me.”

You wanted to fall to your knees, but you just bit your lip and went to sit back down, crossing your legs as you began quizzing him again. 

Soon, you told your pulsing pussy. Soon.

You worked late into the night and soon dozed on the leather couch in his study. The next morning, you woke in Bucky’s bed with a sweet note on your pillow. You smiled and knew that he’d carried you to bed and held you all night long.

—--

“You look like that damn heart eyes emoji, ya know.”

You sucked your teeth at your cousin’s comment, but you didn’t pull your gaze away from Bucky up on the dias the next day at NYU. 

You were proud and in awe of your man. Your smirk turned into a grin as he glanced at you and started to speak.

You were down bad. And Bucky was too. After almost two weeks with little to no physicality, your energy was at supernova strength and about to cause a black hole in the universe.

That’s how intense this thing was. 

You were wet and hard and soft in all the right places.

Bucky had to pause frequently for the interpreter, and it gave you a chance to make googly eyes at each other. You ignored Peach’s subtle retching noises as you concentrated on Bucky. But you cut your eyes over to her while Steve spoke and found her visibly eye fucking him. You smirked when she noticed you noticing.

“Bucky is pretty much the man.”

She was trying to distract you. You laughed.

“Fucking-A.” 

You nodded up at the stage.

“Steve is the shit too.”

You were shocked as hell when she responded.

“He’s amazing. I had no idea everything that he does. Have to say, I’m impressed.”

You elected not to tease her about her response. It seemed as if Steve was working the plan.

You resumed watched as Bucky did his thing. He was glowing, handsome and impressive as hell. No one would believe he was as introverted as he was. But he was flourishing in the spotlight, seemingly born for his. He exuded confidence. 

It was such a turn on.

—-

Bucky watched you watching him and talking to your cousin and knew your tells. You were probably wet and ready for him. He briefly thought of what he was going to do to you later before he refocused on the task at hand. Knowing you were there for him was such motivation.

When he made his way back over to you, you were an angel, giving him a huge hug and exclaiming, “You were so fucking good up there, Jamie! I’m so proud of you.”

Bucky felt his heart explode and although someone was pulling him away from you, he mouthed a promise in your direction.

—-

“Later...”

You definitely read those sexy lips and your heart started racing. You looked around for your cousin, expecting to be roasted, but she was nowhere to be found. You shrugged and made your way to the subway, assuming that she was gathering with the other recipients. There was more work to do in Brownsville and you were busy anticipating the night.

You waited all day for Bucky’s text to tell you what time Nico was picking you up, but it never came. The rest of the day flew by and by the time you were walking home, daydreaming of dressing up for the gala tomorrow night and what Bucky might wear, you happened to check your phone and saw messages he’d sent just 10 minutes before:

You looked so good today. Especially this morning. Good enough to eat.

I’ll be at your place in 30. Wear that bra, no top, that skirt, no panties, and those heels.

You blushed and thought of the mirror selfie of the cream lace lingerie set you were wearing underneath your cream colored cowl neck sweater and grey wool pencil skirt that matched your grey wool coat.

Yes, Daddy, you replied and picked up the pace to make it to your brownstone ahead of him, your heart beating a mile a minute.

You thought you were prepared when you opened the door after Bucky knocked, but you weren’t.

In fact, you were shaking with anticipation.

There he was, bundled up from the cold, but those blue eyes sparkling down at you.

Bucky stared at you for a beat, and then walked toward you, taking your face in his hands and backing you up against the entryway wall, kicking the door closed behind him.

“My Frumoasă. So good. So perfect”

And then he leaned down and kissed you.

—-

Bucky had the strangest thought as you opened your door.

I’m home.

Although this was not his place, he realized that you were his home and that he couldn’t wait to make you his wife. His eyes swept down your form, pleased that you had followed instructions. You were such a badass, capable woman and partner and he just had to be inside you soon. 

He complimented you and his cock stiffened as your mouth parted in desire. He knew your praise kink very well. Bucky cradled your beautiful face and moved inside to kiss you.

His demanding mouth parted your trembling lips, sending tremors through your body. You clung to the lapels of his coat to tether you to earth as his tongue invaded your mouth. You suckled it, previewing what you wanted to do with his cock later. 

He pulled away, his bright blue eyes blazing, and his jaw clenched so tight as he shrugged out of his winter coat. If you didn’t know him so well, you’d think he was angry, but the look was desire. 

And only for you. You grew warm from the inside out.

“I can’t wait. Wanna make love to you, but I have to fuck you now.”

Bucky bent his knees and grabbed your thighs, prompting you to wrap your legs around him and hold on to him as he walked you over to your couch.

You attacked his face as you were sat down firmly on the bulge in his pants and Bucky accepted your assault, chuckling as you kissed him from his hairline, to his forehead, down his nose, each cheek, skipping over his lips to his stubbly dimpled chin and finally back to that mouth. When he kissed you again, his hands were everywhere, starting at the nape of your hair, pulling so your neck was exposed as his mouth moved down to mark you up, then trailing down to your fine lace bra cups.

Bucky palmed your full breasts, weighing them in his hands and watching your face as he twisted your nipples. You nipples tightened under his touch and you arched your back, moving and giving him a view of what was underneath your skirt. He admired your ardor, you squirming and moaning on his lap.

It was his dream come true.

“So fucking hot, Frumoasa. I’ve been craving you. All day. All week. Ever since Thanksgiving. Since I first laid eyes on you.”

“Bucky…need you.”

You grasped the lapels of his jacket as his hand traveled down your torso and as he leaned down to travel under the hem of your skirt. Your soft fingers peeled his jacket away and unbuttoned his shirt. You opened it and ran your hands down his chest, rubbing his nipples with your thumb and trailed your hand down to his happy trail and proceeded to try and undo his belt buckle.

Bucky grew hot at the warmth of your thick thighs and the way your cunt was so hot that he could feel it through his pants. 

He had to have it. 

Panting now and desperate, Bucky tugged your skirt up, flashing your bare pussy, but it was difficult to get rid of because it was still buttoned. It slipped out of his hands and he grunted in frustration.

“Ah, poor baby…” 

You leaned forward, brushing the locks of hair that had fallen into his flushed face, grazing your nipples across your chest with a sexy smile.  Bucky whimpered and you smirked at his desperation. You slowly reached behind you to your zipper, pushing your chest toward Bucky’s face. He licked his lips and pulled your bra cups down, causing your warm breasts to spill out and his hands to be drawn to them again like magnets as he watched you loosen your skirt.

When you grabbed the hem to bring it over your head, he released you, watching as the fabric moved above your crotch.

Your pussy. Fuck.

Bucky could never get enough of staring at it, the dark petals, which were spread open for him as you sat on his lap were calling his name. He licked his lips, suddenly parched.

“What are you thinking about, Bucky?”

You had a pretty good idea, but you wanted, no needed, to hear Bucky’s voice right now. You reached behind you again as you unclasped your bra and suddenly you were naked on an essentially fully dressed Bucky Barnes.

It was sexy as hell. 

“I’m thinking that your pussy is a work of art, Frumoasă. It’s perfect. I’m thinking that I want to spend at least eight hours a day between your legs, make you cum over and over again, make you beg me to stop, and to start again. How I want you to taste you and make you squirt so I can swallow you down…”

You moaned and started grinding on his bulge, causing Bucky to curse.

“Damn, Baby. You’re gonna make me jizz in my pants like a teenager.”

Bucky grabbed your ass and reached between you to tease your clit, feeling how wet you were.

“Fuuuuuck, you’re so wet.”

Bucky’s eyes rolled as he grabbed your waist and lifted you to your knees on either side of him as he unzipped his pants and pulled them and his underwear just down past his ass to get his cock out. He grabbed your cheek as he stroked himself and rubbed his thick cock head in your juicy pussy.

“Fuck me Frumoasa. Slide down this dick for me.”

You brushed Bucky’s hair off his forehead again as you nodded and started to slide down his fat, hard cock. Your head lolled back on your neck as you reached the root of him.

“Oh… Bucky… Fuck….”

You could feel Bucky pounding inside you, long thick cock battering your cervix and you whined, leaning back and working your hips as Bucky fucked up into you and thumbed your clit while the other hand guided you up and down his dick. 

His jaw was clenched and his eyes were shining as he looked up at you. You knew he was close and you couldn’t take it.

He started to speak and you knew it was over.

“Frumoasă. I-I’m gonna need you to… oh holy fuckkkkkk!”

His stutter made you start to cum.

As soon as your pussy started spasming around him, Bucky started shooting his spend all over your warm walls causing you to convulse and hug his head to your chest. He clutched you to him, whimpering as he held onto you for dear life as he came.

He collapsed backwards, taking you with him as you became boneless in his arms. You rolled off of him and curled up on the couch as Bucky stood and untangled himself from his clothes.

You closed your eyes for a minute as he got up and went to the bathroom, returning with a warm cloth to clean you up. When he finished, he kissed your forehead and gathered you up in his arms.

“You turn me on like no one else, Frumoasă. You’re it for me. I love you.”

You cuddled into him as he lay you in your bed.

“Me too, Bucky. You’re my one. I love you, too.”

Bucky kissed your forehead again, and then proceeded to move down your body.

“Good, now. I need to clock into my main occupation. Hour one of eight.…”

—-

If you like it, hit Reblog! ☺️

Read the next part, Peach IV (SR)

[casssmalefantasy]

team usa: the series — paige bueckers x oc!

v. the elephant in the room—tension still lingers. things go unspoken. and somewhere between silence, stares, and a big win… the truth finally slips out.

s: things aren’t the same after the almost kiss. ivy’s avoiding it. paige is circling around it. the tension hasn’t died down—it’s just gotten quieter, but a conversation with azzi, changes everything.

w: slow burn, mutual pining, post-argument tension, emotional vulnerability, confessions, lots of jealousy, azzi being a real one, implied queer feelings, brief misunderstanding, fluff build-up, a kiss

word count: 3.1K

last part | next part

part five: “the elephant in the room”

paige’s pov

there’s been this… space between us.

not like, physical. ivy’s still there—sweat-slicked and sharp in every drill, brushing past me in the halls, slumped beside me in the back row of film review—but it’s like her energy’s shifted. like she’s pulled something back. tightened up.

and the worst part?

i get it.

we haven’t talked about it. the almost kiss. the way ivy looked at me in that hotel room like she wanted to close the space between us, but didn’t. like she couldn’t, but it’s all i’ve been thinking about.

and somehow, things have started to feel like before again. not the same, but almost. shared glances during warmups. a barely-there smile when ivy passes my water after a hard quarter. small things. things that make me wonder if we’re slowly, maybe, coming back to each other.

—

azzi’s voice cuts through post-practice haze.

“okay, no. seriously,” azzi said, dropping down on the bench next to me after practice, her elbow nudging mine. “what’s going on with you and ivy?”

i blinked, dragging my jersey over my head and shaking sweat from my hair. “what?”

“don’t ‘what’ me,” she said, like she was personally offended. “i’m friends with both of you, and the vibe is weird.

i snorted. “we’re good.”

“paige. come on. you barely make eye contact when there’s people around. and when no one’s looking? you’re practically laser-focused on her like she’s gonna disappear.”

i let out a slow breath and stared at the wall across from us. “we… almost kissed again.”

azzi’s head whipped toward me. “i’m sorry, what?”

“a few nights ago,” i said, voice low. “after the game. we got into it—like, arguing—but then it shifted. i don’t know. it got quiet. and then we were just… close. like, close close.

“and?”

“reese walked in,” i muttered. “we didn’t actually do anything. but it was—yeah. it was something.”

azzi stared at me. “and you didn’t think to tell me?”

“i didn’t even know how to talk about it,” i said, running a hand through my hair. “it’s complicated, az. after the first kiss, we both agreed we’d focus on the team, and figure everything else out later.”

azzi gave me a look like i’d grown a second head. “right. because pushing it all down is definitely going well.”

“i like her,” i said, voice quieter now. “more than i’ve liked anyone in… probably ever. and she said that too—she likes me. but then she said we needed to focus. and i get it. this team, this summer—it matters. i don’t wanna be a distraction.”

azzi raised an eyebrow. “okay, but do you really think ignoring each other is making things easier? because from where i’m sitting, it just looks painful.”

i shrugged. “it is.”

she leaned in a little. “so what do you want, p?”

i hesitated, the words catching in my throat. then—“i want this to be real.”

azzi softened, her voice quieter. “then stop pretending it’s not. talk to her.”

“what if she doesn’t want to anymore?” i asked. “what if i already blew it?”

“then you say that. and you deal with it. but at least you’ll know. you can’t keep sitting here staring at her like she hung the moon and then ducking your head like a middle schooler when she looks back.”

“thanks for the pep talk, coach.”

“anytime,” she grinned.

i cracked a smile despite myself.

maybe she was right. maybe it was time to stop avoiding the thing that had already happened.

ivy’s pov

i didn’t mean to be nosy, but when i walked past the court and saw azzi and paige deep in conversation—close, laughing, paige looking more relaxed than she has in days—i freeze.

and it shouldn’t bother me. it really shouldn’t.

they’re friends. teammates. just like her and i. just like her and i are supposed to be.

but all i could think about was how we were right back at square one and paige wasn’t talking to me.

i didn’t know how we got here. one minute we were... whatever we were, and the next it was like someone flipped a switch. she barely looked at me unless she had to. and when she did, it was like she regretted it.

across the court, as i look at her still sitting with azzi. laughing. completely at ease. like nothing was wrong. i was still stuck in the moment her eyes almost closed and her face tilted toward mine and we were this close to—

i swallowed hard.

and then reese walked in.

the memory burned like it had just happened yesterday. we hadn’t talked about it. not once. not even a “so, uh… that was a thing” half-joke. just silence. a weird, painful silence that settled between us like fog. i thought maybe she’d say something after. anything. but she didn’t.

so i didn’t either.

maybe she regretted it. maybe she was regretting everything. the first kiss—the almost kiss.. maybe she realized we weren’t worth the risk and yet i can’t be fully mad at her.

i’m the one who said the team should be our main focus. and i meant it, but it didn’t mean we couldn’t be us.

i looked over again at them. i wish i was able not to feel jealous, but i do anyway.

i know there’s nothing going on.

i know azzi is both of our friends.

yet a part of me still feels funny and doubtful.

i told myself it didn’t matter. that it wasn’t even that deep. that we had bigger things to focus on. team usa, for god’s sake. this wasn’t the time to be caught up in something messy and unspoken and confusing. i should be locked in, dialed in, focused.

but all i could think about was how quiet our room had gotten lately. how different it felt. how much it hurt to be around her when she was trying so hard not to be around me.

and the truth is… it does matter.

i do care.

i leave before they can see me.

—

ivy’s pov

"you good?" azzi’s voice snaps me out of whatever staring contest i was having with the floor tiles.

"yeah," i lie, pulling my hoodie tighter around me as i sit down beside her in the hotel dining area.

she squints at me. "that’s a terrible lie. try again."

i let out a laugh. "what do you want, az?"

"to stop watching you and paige act like you're in a slow burn teen drama when you could just—i don't know—talk?"

i blink. "she say something?"

azzi smirks. "i’m not gonna spill all her secrets, but let’s just say she’s not exactly subtle. and i’m tired of both of you looking like you're dying inside every time you're in the same room."

i roll my eyes. "we’re fine."

"okay, but are you?" she tilts her head. "because last time i checked, people who are just friends don’t almost kiss in a hotel for the second time and then pretend it never happened."

my stomach flips.

"she told you about that?" i ask quietly.

“eventually,” azzi says, tossing a grape into her mouth like we’re not talking about my entire emotional downfall. “you two have been circling each other since day one. it’s like watching two magnets try not to touch.”

i let out something that might pass as a laugh, but she nudges me with her knee like she’s not buying it.

“seriously. i say this with love—and maybe a tiny bit of desperation—but she likes you, ivy. and you like her. so whatever game of emotional dodgeball you two have been playing? i’m begging. retire it.”

i stare at the carpet for a second, words caught in my throat. “you think i don’t want to fix it?” i finally say, quiet. “i do. it’s just... it’s scary.”

“of course it is,” she says, softer now. “but you and paige are literally fearless on the court. don’t act like telling the truth is somehow scarier than dropping thirty on france.”

i smile, even though it feels shaky. there’s a beat of silence before i speak again.

“thank you,” i say, and my voice barely makes it out.

and i know i’m not thanking her just for this talk—it’s for everything. for being patient with me. for never making it weird, even when i almost did.

she looks over. “for what?”

i shake my head. “just... in general.”

she studies me for a second, then nods. “you don’t have to say anything.” a small grin tugs at her lips. “i already got the message with your ‘thank you for absolutely nothing, azzi’ energy last week.”

i groan, but it’s light. “i didn’t mean it like that.”

“i know,” she says, bumping my shoulder. “you’re allowed to feel what you feel, ivy. just don’t let it make you lose something that could be real.”

and i do feel guilty—because azzi has never given me a reason to doubt her. she’s been nothing but solid, nothing but honest. of course paige would go to her. of course she’d lean on someone who knows her inside and out. azzi’s not the problem.

the problem is me, standing still while everything around me spins.

“i just want it to stop being this messy,” i murmur, almost to myself.

“then clean it up,” she says, straight-faced. “because i swear to god, if i have to keep being the emotional middleman for two people who are obviously in love, i’m charging therapy rates.”

i snort. “you’re the worst.”

“and yet,” she says, standing up with a dramatic stretch, “still the best thing that ever happened to you.”

i roll my eyes, but i don’t disagree.

✦ ✦ ✦

travel day

ivy’s pov

there’s an edge to the air. the kind that only comes when everything matters.

we’re playing spain—arguably the toughest team we’ll face all summer. i’m locked in from the second my feet hit the court. no distractions. no second thoughts.

just basketball.

i’m not thinking about paige this time.

well i am, but today, i’m channeling it.

all the tension. the confusion. the maybe-something between us. it burns in my chest and comes out in my game—fast, focused, on fire.

by halftime, i’m the leading scorer. by the fourth quarter, i’m feeling unstoppable.

paige’s pov

watching ivy play like that?

effortlessly. fueled. confident.

yeah. i’m gone.

i’ve never seen her this dialed in. it’s not just about the points. it’s the way ivy moves. like she’s got something to prove and no one’s gonna stop her.

and me?

i want to talk. finally. for real this time.

—

ivy’s pov

i’m drying my hair with a towel when i hear a knock.

it’s soft. tentative.

i open the door to find paige on the other side, still in her warm-ups, eyes a little uncertain.

“you were insane today,” she says. “like… unstoppable.”

i smile, just a little. “thanks.”

“can we talk?” paige asks, voice lower now.

“yeah i’ll be out in a second”

i get out the bathroom and sit on the edge of the bed, quietly.

“we can’t keep pretending,” paige says.

i look at her. “pretending what?”

“that we’re just teammates. that there’s nothing going on. that we don’t—” paige exhales. “feel something.”

“i know,” i admit.

“i miss you,” she says. “not just how we were before. i mean… all of it.”

“me too,” i whisper.

we’re so close. i can feel our knees almost touching.

“i don’t wanna be in this weird in-between,” paige says. “i want to figure it out. with you. whatever this is.”

i nod. “okay. yeah. me too.”

our eyes meet.

the air shifts.

and then—

paige leans in and i meet her halfway.

and this time, we kiss.

it’s soft. steady. like finally exhaling.

author’s note: confessions confessions. ik yall been waiting for the kiss lol.

[nautiscarader]

What The Hecking Heck Has Happened To Me - season finale part… 1.5, interlude

So… it has been a while since the last hecking health update, and you guys - my lovely followers, who keep up my sanity running - deserve some new info. You shouldn't be kept in the dark.

The problem is, I kinda am. But I will not give in to the darkness, I shall shine some light!

(please kindly read the following lines in the voice of an over-the-top narrator, like from "Rocky and Bullwinkle")

LAST TIME ON "What The Hecking Heck Has Happened To Me?":

NAUTISCARADER almost loses all of his hit points!

NAUTISCARADER loses a leg!

NAUTISCARADER lies in a hospital bed for two-and-a-half months, each day losing the hope for the future, his very self-being, the will to live, dreads losing his own free will, making him start drafting last will of his own…

HOWEVER! He is rescued from eternal embummedoutment by THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP!

With the help of REALLY CRAPPY INTERNET he reconnects with his precious on-line PALS AND PEERS that provide our peculiar protagonist with pep-talks through his perilous predicaments that power him up to prolong his passion and even produce partially passable prompts!

NAUTISCARADER confronts his reality, regenerating, though only by changing his avatar, still VEEHEMENTLY refusing to call it a 'pfp', mostly because he has used up his quota for "p-words" in the revious sentence!

BUT the fight is not over, and the threat of GOVERNMENTAL ORGANISATION of POOR SUPPORT (GOPS) is still looming over him. To prevent its wrath, he is exiled to…

Chapter 36: Chapter 36, The Medium Place

(PLEASE tell me if you've heard the jingle in your head upon seeing this!)

Yeah, there is no other way of saying it, TGP has already done that:

So, yeah, for the last two months, nearly, I have been living in a rather neat nursing home, to prevent being sent to a really bad one where I'd have rotten. It's kinda like a cross between this scene from "Amphibia":

with this scene from "She-Ra":

Because while this is a really neat place, the food is much better than hospital one

(twenty points if you know where does this GIF come from!)

and I have constant support…

(fifty for this one!)

…this still is a prison. A really flipping neat prison, but still, a prison. Because I'd like to be on my own, in my house, the only place in this flipping world, where I feel like myself, where I can cook for myself, clean, and do other things...

Quite frankly, I don't know if I can even complain about oh, that horrible thing of having servants. But, yeah, for me it does feel bad. But again, I am stuck here. Once more, powerless. And now I sometimes feel bad for feeling bad.

If I haven't explained my situation clearly, and you don't quite understand me, then a) I apologise, but b)...., I'm not sure I want you to understand the psychological conundrum I'm going through, not even a minute of it. That's why I sprinkle gifs all over the place, to make it more tolerable for you.

But until that court hearing, which will happen some time before the heat death of the universe, I am stuck here. I had to get myself a better internet, that worked!

Is there anything else... oh yeah!

Chapter 37: In which I've rediscovered Plato's cave

So, back in February, when I was still in hospital, I was bedridden 24/7. And my bed was facing window, but since it had the shades on almost constantly, I was only seeing shadows of trees outside the hospital.

And one time, I saw a squirrel!

Well... no, I have seen a shadow of it.

And then it hit me: I have never seen a squirrel IRL (a squIRL...?).

I know, truly traumatising. I've seen them in pictures, movies, cartoons, comics, but not in real life. I'm fairly sure there are none in my local park, nor have I seen any when I was on holidays.

So... have I seen one, finally...? Was it really there, or was it merely an illusion? Have I ever seen anything, or is it just the visions in our minds? Are squirrels even real?

Well, yeah, obviously they are, but you get my point, right? I have experienced very, very little, and now I'm in even worse situation health-wise, my chances of experiencing something new has diminished even further.

So, yeah, try looking for a squirrel and say hello from me, if you can.

And, well, see you in the next hecking update!

[obsolescent]

The Necessity of Saints - Part Two

Part One

Pairing: Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x SingleMom!Reader

Author's Notes: Um. I went in LMFAO. I literally had to cut myself off from writing anymore for this. I hope you enjoy!

Content Warnings: Explicit sexual content, P in V sex, multiple orgasms, protected sex, fingering, squirting, nipple play, cumming from nipple play, Simon is a gentle lover and always aiming to please, reader is touched-starved.

Word Count: 3,241

You let Simon know your availability, agreeing on a time–a date–something you haven’t been on in years. You’re filled with excitement, giddy at the prospect of dressing up and going out with someone, thinking of what all you two could do. Dinner, of course, maybe a movie? Oh! Maybe that carnival that’s in town for the week. You laugh to yourself, so many possibilities. So much anticipation bubbling, it has spilled over into your interactions with everyone around you.

“You’re chipper than usual, have anything going on?” A coworker asks. “Mama, you’re literally glowing, it’s so cute,” Your daughter says with a giggle, delighted to see you with a pep in your step this whole week. Friday night arrives, your excitement now mingling with nervousness. ‘Need something to wear, should I dress casually or should I be bold? Something slutty? Ugh, I don’t think I even have those types of clothes anymore.’ You don’t, you really don’t have much except for comfortable clothing now, some flowy dresses and skirts, and flats and sandals.

You pick out your fanciest dress. A long sleeved, empire cut, burnt orange dress with a sweetheart neckline. The length reaches mid calf, and you pair it with some comfortable, strappy flats. You fix your hair and makeup, looking sophisticated yet casual. ‘Probably the best for a first date.’ You and Simon spoke some more in regards to plans for that night, settling on a restaurant downtown to begin with. You agreed to meet there, not wanting him to know where you live just yet.

Your hands are sweaty as hell. You continue to wipe them off, pacing the living room while the time gets closer for you to leave. “O-M-G mama, relax! It’ll be fine. Just take some deep breaths and sit down,” Rhea says, having watched your anxious movements for the past ten minutes. “Ugh, I just…Don’t know what to do with myself,” You say, finding your way to sit next to her. She pats your shoulder, “Are you worried he won’t like the way you look? You look great, mama, I think he would think you’re pretty even if you showed up in a trash bag.” You guffaw, grinning at your daughter. She is a light in your life that you’re so glad to have, thankful for her reassuring words.

The clock reads 6:45 PM, fifteen minutes before your arranged time. “Reckon I better get going,” You let out a shaky breath, standing up and grabbing your purse. “Have a good time and have fun, love ya and be careful!” Rhea shouts from the couch as you’re opening the front door, “Love you, too!” You shout back, closing and locking the door. You get inside your car, backing out of the driveway and heading to the restaurant.

You arrive with five minutes to spare, giving yourself a pep talk. “If he doesn't like you, he can stick it! Go off on your own and treat yourself,” You say out loud, looking at your reflection in the visor’s mirror, making last minute adjustments to your look. You cut the engine and step out, locking the doors. Walking towards the entrance, you notice Simon standing off to the side, a bouquet in his hands, the other in his pocket. You’re internally screaming, face turning red at just seeing him with the flowers, in a black button up with matching slacks. 

He notices you approaching, giving you a smile, “Hello, love. Glad I didn’t scare you off,” He greets you, handing the bouquet over. A bushel of ranunculus, all varieties of color. “Thank you so much, these are beautiful,” You inhale their scent. “Could say the same about you, you look wonderful,” He says, his gaze following the contours of your body. You give a meek ‘thank you’ blush reaching the tips of your ears. “Shall we?” He asks, extending his arm for you to take. You nod, grabbing onto it, feeling him flex his muscles. ‘Good Lord he’s ripped.’ You both head inside, where the host seats you at a table in the corner, Simon taking the seat that faces out into the restaurant.

Light conversation begins, learning about one another. You find out that Simon is retired from the British military, which prompts you to ask why he’s here, of all places. “I like the liquor,” He says, causing you to laugh. Conversation carries on into dinner, your nerves far away from your thoughts, the wine Simon ordered helping to ease them. You’re honestly happy to have Simon’s company. He insists on paying for your meal, you opposing the whole time. ‘Let him treat you, he seems to really like doing it,’ The thought swimming through your mind. You bite your tongue, smiling and giving your thanks.

After the bill is paid, he escorts you out, once more offering his arm to you, which you gladly hang on to this time. You walk out into the crisp night air, feeling light and full of happiness. “Anything else you’re up for?” He asks, glancing down at you. You mention what you had been thinking about earlier, about the visiting carnival or a movie. He chuckles at your suggestions, “A movie sounds nice, yeah?” You nod, him leading you to his car. A sleek, black, Chevrolet Silverado is what he brings you to. Looking at it in astonishment, big and hefty. ‘Just like him.’ 

He helps you practically climb into the passenger side, settling in and buckling your seatbelt. He joins you on the other side, turning the ignition on and pausing, seeming almost nervous about what he’s going to say next. “If you’re comfortable with it, would you be opposed to watching a movie at my flat?” He asks, shifting in his seat, using your wording from your first proposition. “No, no at all opposed,” You respond, replying with his past sentence. He looks over with a grin, “Alright, love,” Is said before he pulls out of the parking spot, in the direction of his apartment.

He gives his thanks, sitting down beside you. He picks up the remote and turns on his television, scrolling through the selections. You had mentioned liking the horror genre earlier, him also in agreement. He seemed to be checking out the movies in that category, noticing one you had been meaning to watch, but hadn’t gotten around to it. You express your interest in that film, before he selects it.

The movie begins, you settling against the cushions to immerse. Simon shifts a bit closer to you, before putting his arm on the back of the couch, the warmth radiating from him. You give a slight shiver, haven’t been this close to someone other than your daughter in a long time. He notices, grabbing a throw blanket near the end of the couch before draping it across your form. You turn red, not having the guts to tell him the real reason why you shivered. 

As the movie progresses, you steal glances at his profile. Blond hair effortlessly tousled, stubble adding a rugged look to him, his pronounced nose slightly crooked, likely due to it being broken before. He’s quite the looker, with a great personality to match. He looks over at you, catching you staring. Your gazes lock, looking deeply into his honeyed eyes. He smiles, before clearing his throat. “Would you like some bourbon?” You weren’t expecting that, but agree, him rising from his seat and making his way to a liquor cabinet, pouring you both a glass.

He hands you yours, taking a cautious sip. It goes down smoothly, warming your throat. You hum, thanking him, while he settles back into place. Immersing yourself once more, you don’t realize how much you’ve drank until the glass is empty. You set it down on the coffee table, the warmth now spreading throughout your body. He sets his down besides yours, having finished his own. His arm brushes your own as he sits back. You contemplate on asking him to cuddle, worrying your bottom lip. ‘It’s just cuddling,’ you think, inhaling through your nose, taking a deep breath. “Could we, uh, cuddle?” You ask, grimacing at how unsure it sounds. He raises an eyebrow, “Is that what you really want, love?” Your body buzzes at the pet name, but you squish it down, nodding your head. He wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you close.

Your body ignites at the sensation, nerve endings buzzing at his grip. ‘Bless your heart’ you say to yourself. It never occurred to you that you would be touch starved after all this time, but it’s made itself known. His cologne, the fabric of his shirt rubbing against you, his breath fanning out over your hair, small touches that feel so immense. You then notice the brush of his thumb, slightly rubbing at your waist. Heat surges downwards, like you’ve been set on fire. 

You don’t realize you’ve made a noise until you feel Simon tense up against you. “Everything alright? Do you want me to stop touching you?” He asks, beginning to pull away. “No!” You squeak out, face aflame. “It just…Feels really good? Ugh, sorry, you’re not even…I haven’t been touched in a long, long time. I didn’t know it would affect me like this,” You try to laugh it off, beginning to fidget under his gaze. He nods in understanding. “I’ve been like that as well, nothin’ to be bashful about,'' He says, shifting to face you, his firm grip steadfast.

“Y-yeah, I’m just more…Sensitive? Than I thought, I hope it isn’t bothering you,” You respond. His hand slides up to cup your jaw, large hands engulfing the side of your face. Your breath catches in your throat, frozen in place. “Not botherin’ me at all, love,” he mutters, studying your face. This close to him, you notice more details. Faint scars scattered across his face, likely due to his field of work. Feeling emboldened, you bring a hand to his face, tracing one that reaches from under one of his eyes to the top of his upper lip. He tenses again, watching your movements. 

Reaching his lips, you let your thumb graze across them, a huff of breath leaving Simon’s mouth, warming your finger. “Somethin’ you want, is there?” He whispers, pulling you closer. Liquid courage coursing through you, you ask, “Never got to properly thank you for your help at the store. Could I…?” You trail off, hoping he picks up what you’re putting down. He does, but that open ended question isn’t the exact wording he’s looking for. “Could you what, love? You can ask for it, can’t you?” 

Needing words of consent, you take a deep breath. “May I kiss you?” He smirks. “There you are.” He allows you to close the distance. At first, you give a peck to his cheek, before pressing your lips against his. You tilt your head, deepening the kiss, clutching at his shirt. Simon threads his fingers through your hair, sighing against you. 

Oh God. You want him so badly, a profound yearning within your gut blooms throughout your body. Feeling desperate, your hands comb through his locks, a firm grip on them. He grunts, before tugging on yours, causing a rather loud moan to slip from your mouth. “P-Please, Simon. I want you,” You plead, breaking away to kiss along his jaw. He hums, “Good girl, using your words,” He pets your hair, his hand trailing from your hair down your back, fingertips light across your spine, sending a shiver through you.

His hand finds its destination, firmly grabbing your ass. You gasp out, arching against him. “Touch starved, are we?” He asks, chuckling. You whimper, grasping at his forearms, close to getting on your hands and knees to beg him to keep going, please please don’t stop. “Been needin’ someone to take care of you, yeah? Allow me, sweet girl.” You feel like igniting at his words, his sweet talk adding fuel to the ever growing heat inside your body.

His hands reach towards your upper back, locating the zipper on your dress. He hesitates, waiting for your approval which is given with a quick ‘yes yes yes’. Agonizingly slow, he pulls it down, before taking both hands and pulling at the sleeves to move the upper half away from your heated flesh.

Oh. You forgot you hadn’t worn a bra tonight, the dress having built in cups, you didn’t see the reason to, until now. Feeling bare under his burning gaze, you hunch over. “None of that now, love. S’just me,” He says, moving your arms away from your chest. Sitting upright again, you jut your chest out some, closing your eyes against his wandering stare, taking you in. “Gorgeous,” He whispers, fingers running along the slope of your left breast. 

Gasping, you stick your chest out more. You’re hoping he doesn’t need verbal approval, not trusting yourself to form cohesive thoughts at the moment. He continues, your reactions enough. His light touches are bordering on driving you feral, needing more. You squeeze his forearms, hoping he receives the message. He seems to understand, leaning down and taking a nipple into his mouth, his hand pinching the other. 

You cry out, sensation like lightning electrifying you. Your eyes roll back into your head, chanting, “Please please don’t stop, feel s’good, God, please keep going!” He obliges, sucking harder on your hardened nub while tugging on the other. You begin trembling. “W-wait, Simon, I think I’m–” A loud moan rushes out of you along with wetness, soaking your panties from suddenly squirting. A tug of your nipple between his teeth sent you careening over the edge into glory. Your orgasm spreads throughout your body, holding onto him for dear life.

Simon groans, pulling away. “Fucking hell. Cumming from me barely touching you.” He’s looking at you in wonder. He lays you back against the leather, pulling your dress off all the way. Left in just your soiled underwear, he soon pulls those down as well, moaning as he sees the mess you made. “Gonna be the death of me,” He mutters, pocketing the ruined panties. He quickly unbuttons his shirt, exposing his chest in all its grandeur. You bite your lip at the literal marble statue hovering over you, running your hands down his pecs and abs. 

You reach his slacks, tugging at his belt. He unbuckles said item, unzipping his pants and pulling them down. Now able to see his rather hefty cock straining against his underwear. You let out another whimper, legs automatically spreading open. “Goin’ to give you all you need, sweet girl. Being so good for me,” He says, running his hands up and down your legs, giving a reassuring squeeze to them. He kisses down your chest and stomach, touches soft and sweet. Reaching the apex of your thighs, his hands slot behind your knees, pushing your thighs against you, laid bare before him.

The passion in his eyes is so intense you have to look away, biting your lip. He tuts at you, “Want you to see this next part,” He says, directing your gaze back to him. He smiles, before suddenly a hot stripe of his tongue runs up, through your folds and to your clit. You toss your head back and yell, his chuckle vibrating against your pussy. Your legs are shaking even harder than before. Your words incoherent, you grasp at his hand, pulling him closer to your heat. ‘Good Lord, he’s a goddamn professional.’ Good to know your thoughts are still intact.

Your thoughts come to a standstill, Simon sliding a finger into your warmth. He swirls it around inside before adding another, crooking upwards while sucking on your clit. “Ah!” You’re thrown over that precipice again, legs clamping around his head. He pulls away, watching you shudder and convulse, wetness releasing from you once more. He grins, proud of his work. “Think you have one more in you, sweet girl,” He says, matter of factly, like he didn’t just remove your soul from your body twice in under ten minutes. 

He pushes your thighs further up this time, knees almost bracketing each side of your head. ‘Good God, this man is going to ruin me.’ You’re thankful your thoughts have returned for the moment, knowing your brain will be scattered again soon. He reaches down, pulling a condom from his wallet, slipping it on. “Ready for me?” He asks, lining himself up with your quivering hole, clenching around nothing for the moment. You nod. “Yes, yes, yes please,” you beg, shame be damned, needing Simon inside you now.

He slides in effortlessly, going achingly slow. The stretch is a lot, not surprising, though. It definitely matches in accordance with the rest of his body. He fully seats himself inside you, letting you adjust. “Please, move. Fuck me, Simon, need it so bad,” You’re able to form a coherent sentence, it rushing out of you near the end when Simon pulls out and glides back in. “Fuck, so tight, love. Feel so good, baby,” He moans out, picking up speed. Skin slapping against skin fills the quiet space, movie long over with. 

He’s hitting every single inch of you, rubbing just right. He leans over you, letting your legs drop. You take the opportunity to wrap them around his waist, pulling him flush against you. Simon brings you in for a searing kiss, rocking his hips into you, barely leaving you now. Your moans and panting are music to his ears, his own noises making you sing to the heavens. Reaching in between your bodies, he works your clit in unison with the grinding of his hips. “One more love, you can do it, there you go sweet girl, so good f’me,” He feels the rhythmic clenching around his cock and your squealing, reaching euphoria for the last time that night. He picks up the pace again, his thrusts soon stuttering as he reaches his own end, gasping and whimpering into your neck. 

He keeps himself propped up on his elbows while you both calm from the frenzied activity. As your breath evens out, he pecks your cheek, grinning. “Most proper thanks I’ve received,” He says, laughing at your widening eyes. “You–!” You swat at his chest, beginning to laugh yourself. He slides out, disposing of the condom before picking you up, carrying you to his bedroom. He sets you down on his silken black sheets, before laying next to you. You toss your leg over his before snuggling into his chest. He kisses the top of your head, feeling warm. You mumble a ‘Good night’ before drifting off, Simon not far behind you. Allowing himself to fall asleep cradling you in his arms. Feeling content and happy for the first time in a long while.

Tags: @dwkfan, spicy part two ♡

[enchantedchocolatebars]

I suddenly remembered all your posts about Camila's reactions to the appearance of Beardo Philip and an idea struck me.

As usual, Belos Redemption AU, Philip lives in Noseda's House with the HexSquad, they all cool with him.

Fic - Belos discovers that he can change his appearance and turns into Beardo Phillip. He is so happy that he looks young again, but he is worried about strange reactions and looks from Camilla. Is she sick?

Hairy Bodies Are Hot

Camila's car took a turn into the Gravesfield Playhouse parking lot as she searched for a place to park.

Once she did, she put her car in reverse and backed into the open space.

Next to the theater entrance was a floor stand with a poster framed inside that read "Auditions."

Another poster, which was framed on one of the windows of the theatrical building, had the words "Gravesfield's Greatest Witch Hunters: A Tale Of The Brothers Wittebane" labeled in big bold letters above a picture of the Wittebane Brothers' statues.

Turning the car off, Camila removed the keys from the ignition and placed them in the armrest cup holder beside her.

She then offered a smile to Belos Philip, who was sitting in the front passenger seat next to her.

Despite this being his first ever audition, Philip didn't seem to show any signs of being nervous.

"Now Philip," Camila said as she began her pep-talk to the former witch hunter, closing her eyes.

"Remember, when you walk in there, do so with your head held high and show the casting director your most confident and professional self, but avoid boasting. Next, you'll want to make sure that..."

As Camila continued to give her good advice to Philip, she failed to notice the swift transformation taking place in her presence.

"... Finally, and this is important, you have to..."

The first thing Camila saw upon opening her eyes caused them to widen, red immediately rushing to her cheeks.

"Aaaa!" Camila shrieks in terror at the younger man now sitting in the passenger seat.

He was wearing Philip's coat, along with a bushy brown beard and an adorable smile as he looked at the mother.

"Wh-What's going on?" Camila asked the man as her eyes quickly shifted for something to pick up and protect herself with if needed.

Her la chancla was at home.

"Wh-Where's Philip? What have you done with him, you..."

She proceeded to slowly look him up and down. "Handsome stranger?"

Camila bit her tongue a little too late as she mentally facepalmed at her last sentence.

Did she really just call him that?

The brunette released a small chuckle. "Camila, my dear, whatever do you mean? I'm right here," he told her.

Camila did a double take as she blinked. "P-Philip?! That's... you?!" she asked. "But how?!"

"Last week, I discovered a method to modify my appearance. If I want to obtain the role as my younger self, one of the best ways to do so is to look the part," he explained in a charming voice that Camila found absolutely irresistible.

She felt her form melt like butter in a pan.

Philip refused to stand for the nonsensical injustice that was presented in Masha's hayride story at the Halloween festival.

"O-Oh! Okay then! That makes sense. Well, break a leg," Camila awkwardly wished Philip with a flushed face as he got out of the car.

He smiled at her kindly once more.

"Thank you," Philip said, closing the door.

As he walked toward the playhouse building, Camila continued to stare at him, her blush growing stronger.

...

"S-So, how did it go?" Camila asked Philip as he stepped back into the car.

His smile was brimming with pure, genuine excitement as he shut the door. "I was given the role of myself!" he beamed, buckling up.

"The director had nothing but praise for my performance."

Camila smiled at the news, her face still warm. "That's great, Philip. I'm so happy for you."

Philip shortly took notice of Camila's red face, concern soon crossing on his own.

He gently grasped her chin as he observed her flushed features, which caught her off guard, and a surprised squeak escaped her.

"Your face is terribly red, love. You're not becoming ill, are you?" he gently asked.

Camila swiftly shook her head and pulled away, quickly grabbing her keys and starting the car.

"O-Of course not!" she responded.

Once she carefully drove forward and turned her steering wheel, Camila commenced driving.

"I just forgot to turn on the AC when you left," she chuckled nervously.

...

"Ch-Chest hair," Camila whispered while in the laundry room, holding a familiar dress shirt that she was about to toss into the washing machine.

It was the same one that Philip wore yesterday and was sprinkled with brown body hair.

Someone was obviously shedding.

Camila tightened her grip on the shirt as she began to blush.

"S-So hairy...," she whispered to herself.

[themorticians-world]

I. VOID .I Xavier Thorpe x O.C

*All copy rights go to the creators of Wednesday, and the music to Melanie Martinez. Those are their's to claim they just helped inspire me.* Also this has an Original Character and OC family.* SMUT. 18+. MINORS DNI. 

Warnings: Smut, unprotected P in V (don’t be silly wrap your willy), touch of being insecure/chubby, I’m sure there’s more but that’s the gist of what I can think of.

“So strange

I'm tryin' to find the doorway

My eyes are starin' at me

And they seem so damn unhappy..”

“Don’t stop” I gasp out while Xavier pulls my hair and pounds into me from behind. I can feel him squeezing my plush hips while he juts into me at an inhuman pace. “Do you like how I fill you up? How I stretch you out?” He huffs, blowing at a piece of hair that’s fallen out of his bun. I clench around him, taking his energy and using it to feed the ache and hunger that is never-ending in my core. 

“Xavier I can’t” I moan, not being able to take the constant feel of his cock kissing my g-spot, the feeling of his hands rubbing my neck while pulling on my pony tail, the overwhelming scent of him. “You can, and you will Ophelia” he moans. I use his moment of weakness against him, and flip our position. I lay him flat on my bed while I straddle him. I can feel him in my stomach when I start to rock my hips against his pelvis. “Ophelia, wait no I’m going to cum” he whines out. I reach forward and lick a strip up his neck, my forked tongue tickling the sensitive spot behind his ear. He reaches up and grabs at my stomach, a moment of insecurity hits me, I’ve never had a body like this, round and plush. But I remind myself that I am what he views as his perfect girl, so I swallow my thoughts and clench down on him. “Baby where do you want me to cum?” He starts to lose his rhythm and I can feel he’s close, “inside me” I whisper seductively into his ear. “Fuck me, babe I’m - Ophelia baby I’m cumming.” He moans out, once last thrust and he’s shooting his load into me, while I clench down on him. I feel my own climax begin to wash over me, the constant pressure on my clit from his hip bones, him hitting in me perfectly becomes too much, letting myself go I see stars as I orgasm. He cries out as I milked him for all I could, hoping to ease my hunger for at least the next day, and I collapse beside him, curling into his chest and allowing myself to fall sleep.

I wake up the next morning drenched in sweat and sticky with my own arousal. Wet dreams about the tortured artist I met the night before fuelling my intense need to feed. I begin to stretch and wipe my eyes while yawning. 

Knowing my mother wants to talk today about rules, and go over some things that have changed since our last rebirth, I prepare to get ready. Walking to the bathroom, I comb out my wavy hair, and begin to wash my face. I brush my teeth and head to the closet to pick out my outfit for the day. I settle on a pair of black high waisted mom jeans, a black V-neck long sleeve that’s form fitting and a pair of black slip on vans. Once dressed, I spray myself down with perfume.

Walking down the spiral staircase I have a pep in my step as I enter the kitchen area. “Good morning beautiful girl, how was your first nights sleep?” My mom greets me, kissing my forehead. “Really well, I need to feed after the night I’ve had though” I let out a giggle and grab an apple. Sitting down at the bar seats my mom looks at me and frowns, “sweetie when you’re ready we can have our chat. Until then, maybe go change? I think you might be a bit too big for that shirt.” Looking down I frown myself, wondering what she’s referring to. Yes I’m certainly more curvy and vivacious than my previous lives, but the form fitting long sleeve hugs my curves, shows off my large chest and pairs perfectly with my jeans. “Im good mom, I feel comfortable in this, but let’s go have that talk. You’re starting to make me anxious” I let out a weak laugh and walk towards the living room, where I notice my father in front of the fire place, poking at the already burning wooden logs. “Good morning daddy!” I exclaim going to give a hug, only to be met with a slow step back and a tight grin. 

Frowning I look down and sit, awaiting for someone to break the awkward silence and start the oh-so important conversation. “Well hunny, we have some rules we need to go over, and some things to touch on. This life time is different than the last, there’s technology beyond what we could’ve ever imagined, and us outcasts aren’t as shunned as we were before. Your father and I have spoken and we have agreed on the following” my mom shifts in her seat, nervously running the palm of her hands across her black fitting dress. 

“Rule number one, there is a school here for outcasts, you have been enrolled and will start with the rest of your class on the 9th.” She nods and continues, “ Second rule, being that you will be living on campus amongst your fellow outcasts, your father and I are ready to live as a couple again, not parents.” She says firmly, My eyebrows tense as I go to speak, she holds her hand up as if to shush me, “third rule, we don’t want to know when, if, how, who and where you feed. Your father and I are wanting a break from the constant complaining of being hungry, and having to be around to hear you feed on poor young men and women.” She frowns while looking down. I look down at my hands, feeling ashamed for who and what I am for the first time ever. I sniffle, and hold back the tears brimming my eyes and nod at her to continue. To my surprise it’s my dad who speaks next, “Hunny we love you, but it’s time you start to learn to be independent and find your own crowd you can fit in with. We have gone ahead and got you a phone, and we will assist in your packing today, you leave this afternoon for school. We have spoken to your principal, and you have been assigned a private room due to your unique, feeding habits.” He smiles while placing his hand on my knee, as if to comfort me. 

Standing up and straightening my shirt, I head towards the stairs to gather my things. Never have my parents thrown me away like trash, they don’t even seem worried that Evan hasn’t rebirthed yet. As I jog up the stairs, my chest bouncing while i do so, I head into my room and slam my door. I guess on the bright side, I only had one night with my new set up, meaning I didn’t become too attached to what I thought could be permeant. I begin throwing my things into piles to sort through in bags and boxes, I hear foot steps coming up the stairs and I stiffen, truly not wanting to even face my family right now. 

“Here beautiful, these are the spare boxes from when we moved here. Let me know if you need any help” my mom says lightly, placing the few boxes onto the ground of my room. I nod and don’t respond, beginning to throw my items into the boxes not really caring how messy everything is. What feels like days, but in reality is only an hour and a half, I have completed my packing, and head downstairs with some of my boxes. “I’m ready, can you please grab the last few boxes” I say with a slight sass to my voice. Nodding my dad pulls out a set of car keys and unlocks the car. I walk outside and begin to put my items into the modernized hearse.  

-2 hours later-

“Goodbye baby girl, we love you.” My mother waves near the hearse, I turn and glare, grabbing my last box to take to my room. My new room isn’t small, but it’s not like the beautifully decorated room my parents had made me for seemingly no reason. 

I look around and begin to figure out what decor can go where, what clothes to be hung and to be folded, and where to place my shoes.

After finishing my room, and placing my new uniform on a hanger in my closet to prevent wrinkles, I begin my hunt to find the cafeteria. Wandering the halls of this beautiful castle disguised as a school, I begin to see fellow outcasts, faceless people, sirens, wolves, and those who appear to be in all accounts, ‘normal’. As I walk around the halls, I begin to follow a slew of hushed whispers and end up in the centre of the quad, to see tons of outcasts chatting, eating and enjoying themselves. I feel my cheeks heat up, as my horns become the focal point of everyones attention. I straighten my posture and walk with a feign confidence to retrieve a plate of poorly made pork chops and what appears to be mashed potatoes. Wincing I grab a bottle of water and head towards an empty table near the trash can. I pull out my new phone and begin to try and figure out how to use it. A little while later, I learned and had finished setting up. Noticing my parents had placed their numbers in my phone along with the number to the therapist in town. I place my phone down, losing my small appetite and stand up readying to throw out my so called ‘dinner’.

As I turn to place my tray on the cart where it belongs, I’m face to face, well face to chest with the tall long haired boy from the small shed in the woods. “We meet again, hopefully this time I can catch your name.” He smirks. Instantly the heat in my core intensifies as I realize it’s Xavier, the one from my dream. I smile up at him, allowing my fangs and horns to peak, “Well, hello handsome, I’m Ophelia, it’s nice to see a familiar face around” I shrug my shoulders and bat my lashes up at him.

‘Oh this is going to be fun’ I think to myself, he smiles down at me, his beautiful green eyes hold something mischievous behind them. “I’m glad to see you here, do you want a tour?” He says confidently. Nodding eagerly I move my arms as if to say ‘lead the way’.

[theclaravoyant]

AN ~ So!! I needed a bit of fluff and humour after THAT EPISODE !! and after seeing their adorable lil faces in the bts pics with the medals this little ... cold open esque prologue? to 7x09 came to me in a lunch break :P enjoy!

note: contains a multitude of weewooified details about lafd and the military, for dramatic and humourous effect, plz don't @ me

Firefam. No spoilers outside of trailers. (~1600wd). Humour, but with angst bc I can’t stop myself putting these guys in Situations

bait and switch

The seats in the hallway are typical of any waiting room: plastic arms, kind of sticky, and weirdly cheap and tacky considering the significance of the life events about to occur in their occupants. The walls are a burnt-orange red. Fitting, if ominous.

The clock on the wall ticks on.

“Evan's been in there a long time,” Tommy observes.

“Too long,” Hen agrees.

“He's probably gone out the other way,” Chimney speculates grimly. ”Doesn't want us to see the broken shell of a man Gerrard's turned him into.”

Eddie sits a few seats away, with his eyes closed, envisioning himself as a puddle of jello. Well, he was. Well. He was trying to. He cracks an eye open.

“Thanks for the pep talk, Chim.”

“You're welcome.” Chimney huffs. He wishes he had his phone. Maybe he could text Maddie to call him away with some emergency. Sure he'd only be delaying the inevitable, but he'd take any respite at this point.

Eddie laughs. “Come on. He can't be that bad.”

Hen, Chim and Tommy fix him with a glare that tells him he knows not of what he speaks.

“Easy for you to say,” Chimney challenges. “We can't all have interrogation training.”

“What is it you think I actually did over there?”

Chim's been reading too much Zero Dark Thirty. Eddie rolls his eyes. But maybe there's something to having his military days at the top of his mind, because when the doors swing open he all but jumps to his feet, back ramrod straight. He wonders all of a sudden if he's somehow put his badges on backwards or something and it's all he can do not to fret with his collar and sleeves. He's heard the stories. He might have lucked out with Bobby as his Captain, but he's had drill sergeants like this Gerrard guy, and the performance anxiety is real.

“Firefighter Diaz.”

“Yessir.”

“Please come through.”

“Yessir.”

He follows obediently, his hands clasped behind his back in some kind of attention pose he isn't even deliberately aware of knowing how to do. The rest of them will take the piss out of him later, he's sure.

The doors close behind him.

The waiting resumes.

Chimney bounces a knee.

“They're doing this on purpose, you know,” he mutters, not quite to himself. “To make us sweat. I'm playing right into their hands.”

“I don't get it,” Hen muses, turning their situation over in her head. “I thought we were in the clear. No credit, no crime, right?”

Tommy shrugs. “You know how it is. Sometimes the brass likes to have their cake and eat it to.”

“I guess.” Hen sighs. “I'm sorry, guys. Let me talk to them. I meant it when I said I didn't want any of this to blow back on you – especially you, Tommy.”

“Hey.” He shakes his head, and waves her off. “I throw in, I'm all in.”

“Yeah,” Chim agrees. “We're in this together. Spartacuses. Spartaci? Although... I'd like to state for the record that per to the Geneva Convention I can't be held responsible for anything I may or may not say under duress.”

Hen all but rolls her eyes at him. Geneva Convention or no – and she's almost certain that particular one is a no - she's been locked up with the man and forced to watch him flatline repeatedly and he still figured out how to help save them both. There's not a force in this world that would make him throw her under the bus.

“It's gonna be okay, Chim,” she promises. Even squeezes his hand, for good measure.

But this time, the door opens too quickly. Maybe Gerrard is doing it just to mess with them after all. Still no Buck. No Eddie.

“Firefighter Han,” the bailiff-type beckons.

He squeezes his eyes shut for a moment and mutters quickly as he stands-

“Tell Maddie I love her, show Jee Yun pictures of my face!”

Then, with a dull BOOM!, the doors are closed again.

And then there are two.

Hen hangs her head. Lets out a breath.

Tommy lets his fall back against the wall.

After a while, they switch.

Tommy's head drops forward, resting on his hands resting on his elbows resting on his knees. He rubs circles on his own knuckles. Hen stretches her feet out in front of her, tips her head back and closes her eyes. She even tries Eddie's jello thing. She's never really been much of a jello person though, honestly, so instead, she copes by breaking the silence.

“What about you then, Kinard? Ever been court martialled?”

“No,” he says. “Although, I did get a summary once.”

“What for?”

“Conduct unbecoming.”

He looks up, and there's a glint of mischief in his eye that tells her exactly what kind of conduct. Hen's jaw slackens.

“No way. Team Jacob, huh?”

“Taylor Lautner? Please. I'm only a man.” He laughs and shakes his head. “Honestly, I didn't think much of it at the time. I mean, I got scared straight for sure - Got a slap on the wrist, a lot of hoo ha about an other than honourable discharge, so I pulled my head in. But I also figured, plenty of straight guys have 'experiences' on tour. Took me a while to put the pieces together.”

“How'd you figure it out? I mean without a hot pilot boyfriend of your own to sweep you off your feet.” “Ha, ha.” He fixes her with a meaningful gaze, and smiles. “Actually, I got yelled at by this really brave black lesbian firefighter. You could say she inspired me to do some introspection.”

“Yeah, well. We do have that effect on people.”

She is definitely not blushing and even more definitely not thinking about that time she cried in front of him. It's the last thing she needs, when the doors open again and he nods and disappears and then she's alone.

Then again, she thinks, maybe it's not the worst thing she could be thinking about. Gerrard used to have so much power over her. Over her mood. Over how she spent her day. What is she doing, giving him another day of her life? Sure, part of her is terrified and drenched in guilt that she's very possibly single-handedly ended the careers of most of her closest friends. But the other part of her – the bigger part, and only growing as she gives voice to it – knows she hasn't single-handedly done a thing, and that she would have just as soon thrown her lot in with any of them if they'd asked, or even if they hadn't. She's abseiled a collapsing bridge with them; been shot at; been kidnapped; put her life, her wife's life in their hands; held theirs in hers. She's sung in front of most of them; subjected them to her cooking; they've born witness to her tears and to her happy dances more times than she can count. At the end of the day, she has no regrets. So she's feeling a lot stronger by the time those doors open for her.

She takes a deep breath and strides forward, and notices straight away that the air in here is – weird.

It's not just Gerrard, there's several officials and even the Fire Chief. Bobby isn't here. He probably isn't allowed to be, as both the subject of the illicit rescue and Captain of the accused, so it's not surprising, but the absence of his steady presence rooting for her stings. These guys? It feels like they're all laughing at her. Like they're in on something she doesn't know – like maybe how delicious Gerrard is finding it that he gets to deliver the final blow. He was the one who gave her her badge after all, albeit reluctantly. It's weirdly fitting that he be the one to take it away. Although. She'd expected him to look a lot happier about it.

“Firefighter Wilson.”

“Captain Gerrard.”

“Is it true that on the evening of April 6 2024 to the morning of April 7 2024 you aided and abetted the appropriation of city resources including but not limited to rostered firefighters, radar technology, and an LAFD helicopter to conduct an unauthorised rescue operation on the cruise ship Ocean Joy?”

“Yes.”

“Your friends tell me you masterminded the operation.”

Deep breaths, Wilson. You knew this was coming.

“It was my idea. The others, they were just helping me follow a hunch. I take full responsibility.”

Gerrard gives a loud, pointed sigh. She can't figure out if he's impressed or thinks she's bullshitting him. Maybe both.

“Some hunch,” he says.

She clenches her jaw as she watches the man come down from the tribunal table. He takes his time on his way to her and she tries to keep looking straight ahead, like it doesn't matter to her what intention is glistening behind those beady shark eyes. He's getting so close now that he could just about rip the badge straight off her chest. Is that what's about to happen? To nearly twenty years of her life? She braces herself. Holds her breath. Mustn't let him see her cry.

He holds out a piece of paper. She blinks down at it.

“What's this?”

Her knees are numb but hold her up somehow nonetheless as she takes the paper and unfolds it.

PROUD TO PRESENT – HENRIETTA WILSON – with the MEDAL OF VALOUR

“I...”

Am I dreaming?

She blinks. Stammers. Looks around.

“What??”

[cyclist-of-guilt]

The diplomatic journal of Albert Herrera part 8/8

Oh thank god it's over. Tomorrow I'll add the first 7 pages, check everything again and post link to pdf version of whole translation with scan of the book again. And I need to try to find that blog mentioned in afterword maybe it could answer if this is anime or novel verse. Anyway!

In which: Eugine shows up in person, Albert is behaving more and more like Edmond, gets threathend by old man that betrayed him, Edmond gives speech in senate(?), Albert confessess to him when they're saying goodbye AGAIN and Franz's ghost from his great cuck chair in heaven might have given Albert pep talk about waiting for Edmond.

A good awakening…not exactly

A dull face is reflected in the bathroom mirror.

My hair is messy and I have bags under my eyes. Even though I just woke up, that's still too bad. It must be because of lack of sleep and fatigue from the journey.

Still, after splashing some water and opening a window, I felt better. The June wind of Paris is fluttering the curtains. (translator’s note: how much time is this book taking? Albert’s birthday is in August or September because of course our Maiden is a virgo)

As I sipped my strong coffee, I looked down at the city. People in summer clothes were walking happily. Young couples, boys and girls, ladies on the arms of gentlemen……..The atmosphere is quite different from Janina.

I suddenly thought of my mother. 

What is she doing at home in Marseilles right now? 

Once I complete my mission and I am free – I have no idea when that will be — I would like to go and see her. Although she said living alone was nice and easy, it’s inevitable that she gets lonely too.

No, it’s me who’s lonely. I was fine on Janina but as soon as I arrived in Paris I started to miss Marseille. Right now the place I call home isn’t this glamorous royal capital but the port town outside this castle. (translator's note: feeling nostalgic while eating at a sailors bar? Missing Marseilles so bad? Boyo not denying being part of Edmond’s soul allegations)

(p. 85)

It’s almost noon and Mark still hasn't woken up. 

I have nothing to do. I came all the way to Paris but I don’t know what to do today. There was no instruction to report to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. If things continue like this I’ll try to contact Raoul or Beauchamp.

Or maybe—

I started up the provided information terminal. I took a sip of coffee and checked out information about concerts in Paris in June.

Here! The event I was looking for was going to be held in a small hall in the suburbs:

“Eugenie Danglars

A beautiful, up-and-coming pianist based in New York and Paris, who is gaining increasing acclaim from music connoisseurs.”

— that’s what the artist’s profile said.

Concert

The windows were closed but the sound of rain softly lingered over the hall. It was a converted church, filled with an audience of about 50 people. Everyone is watching the pianist as she concentrates on her performance. I slipped into a seat in the back corner, hiding behind the gentleman in front of me, and surrendered myself to the vibrations of the air she was creating. (translator’s note: you pretentious fuck)  Eugenie seems to have further improved her skills. The tense feeling that was there before is gone now, and she seems to be enjoying playing as her heart desires. Of course if I told her that, I’m sure she would laugh at me. 

After listening to major sonatas and a few minor pieces for about an hour, I quietly got up from my seat. I felt a bit embarrassed to stay until the performance finished. 

But as I was leaving the hall, I stopped. The next song she started with was an original by her, one that she had previously written and said she would give it to me.

I turned around in surprise and saw Eugenie looking at me. She was smiling slightly, but furrowing her brow and playing with a deliberately altered touch, as if to say, "Since you've come all this way, you should come and say hello."

I shook my head and returned to my seat.

It would have been kind of cool if I had just snuck back home.

(translator’s note: keep this behaviour in mind, it’s a surprise tool)

(p. 86)

The constant discomfort

We remained silent over our tea.

Perhaps we didn’t know how to act toward each other.

The time that each of us spent together had widened the distance between us - or rather, it was difficult to gauge the distance that had grown. I was worried about how Eugenie saw me now.

I still haven't gotten over my timid feelings towards her.

“When did you get back?” She said. 

I guess she’s going to start with easy questions. 

“It’s a mission” I answered with deliberate secrecy. “I can’t reveal the schedule” 

She gave a slight smile. 

“As you would expect from a diplomat.”

Then silence.

I looked into the courtyard of the hall. The gravestones and statues that remind me of the time the building was still a church are wet with rain.

“You improved, didn’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s much better than the last time I heard it.”

“Thank you”

Silence again.

There was a discreet knock from the other side of the door and then Eugenie's manager came, announcing apologetically that it was nearly time to leave for the next venue.

But she was drinking her tea in silence.

“Are you sure you don’t have to go?”

“Artists are difficult people” then kept looking at me “Not as much as you, though.”

“I’m not moody.”

I thought I was having fun, but before I knew it, I was withdrawing into my shell.

"One moment you seem excited, the next you retreat into your shell."

I tried to argue but gave up. For some reason she was smiling broadly. It’s been a while since I saw that smile.

“I’m relieved nothing has changed.”

I have no choice but to laugh too.

“I left Paris because I wanted a change.”

“You can still stay in Paris, right?”

“So the schedule is…”

“Night after tomorrow”

She recommended our favourite cafe.

“Even if you say something selfish.”

(p.87)

Eugenie held out a card with her contact details.

“What, you can't even make time for me, Albert? You're an adult now right?”

I saw a sinister face in the crowd

After parting ways with Eugenie, I headed to the hotel. The rain had stopped and only the cobblestones were wet. It felt good to walk those streets. After all, I hadn’t stepped on wet pavement in the last 6 months. (translator’s note: wtf is this timeline help) 

Perhaps I was spacing out. I met her for the first time in a long time, and while she had grown up a lot I still hadn’t changed a bit. I was thinking about such random things….This was unbecoming of a diplomat, especially one who was in charge of an important mission, even if he didn't understand the details.

At that moment, I stopped in my tracks, as I thought I saw a familiar face among the people passing by in the crowd. Who on earth could it be? I knew it well but I couldn’t remember it right anyway. I stopped and looked back. That person also stopped and looked back at me. 

He had a sarcastic smile on his face.

“Mr. Kazantzakis…”

He looked quite different, perhaps in disguise, but I was certain it was my former boss. (translator’s note: oh so you can recognise your former boss in disguise but not “the man that changed my life”????????????”) The person who betrayed us and blew up the embassy —.

He ran straight into the alleyway. As if telling me to follow him. I reflexively followed after him. I knew I shouldn’t do that but I couldn’t stop myself. 

I wanted to meet him and question him - that was the feeling that was urging me on.

I jumped into the alleyway and could see the back of the man who was running down a narrow passage between the buildings. I ran after him. 

Ran, ran and….

I thought I cornered him in a dead end. Of course, it wasn’t him who was cornered, but me…

Reunion

“It has been a while, Albert”

With his back to the rain soaked wall my ex-boss smiled gently. I could hear a bandoneon playing from somewhere. A melancholic verse repeating over and over….

(p. 88)

“How did you sneak into Paris?”

Without realizing it, my tone turned interrogative.

“There are many ways to do that.”

“What on earth are you here for?”

“I’m not going to fight with you;” Mr. Kazantzakis spread his arms wide “you believe that though.”

“Why did you try to attack the Queen of Janina?”

“Political differences” He twisted his mouth slightly “or you could say interests.”

“Did you also blow up the embassy?”

“I should have left Janina then.”

“Maybe your friends did it. I got inside information about the embassy from you…”

I took the gun out of my pocket. It was provided to me by Mr. Kazantzakis himself while I showed up on Janina.

“I want you to come with me.”

“That’s a problem. I still have a job to do.”

Before I knew it, he also had a gun in his hand. 

“One week is enough” He says, taking one step forward. “Would you like to spend some time at my villa in Normandy?”

It was the name of a familiar place, but I didn't have time to reminisce.

“What are you asking me to do?”

“I’m not going to make you do anything.”

Another sarcastic smile. There were deep wrinkles on his cheeks and he looked awfully haggard.

”You’re worthless. Only your absence has value.”

“Don’t mess with me!”

I wanted to jump on him. However a bullet grazed my cheek and stopped me from moving. 

“Don’t make me kill you.”

It was almost like he was pleading.

“One day you’ll see that we were right.”

Before I  knew it, several men surrounded me.

I put my finger on the trigger and looked at Mr. Kazantzakis. Even if it means losing my life I cannot forgive this man…

The temptation of Mr. Kazantzakis

“Haven't you been taught your role?”

Mr. Kazantzakis said in shock.

(p. 89)

I was being tightly bound by the men.

“You don’t know about the inquiry party?”

 The inquiry party? I’ve never heard about such a thing before.

“Good grief, so you’re totally out of the loop. From Janina’s secret to diplomatic issues with the Empire… But that certainly was a wise move.”

Janina’s secret? I felt dizzy with anger and shame. I have not been told anything about what “the enemy” knows. 

“Why don’t you kill me?”  I said in a fit of desperation. “I’ll never do what you say. If you want to keep me quiet just use that gun…”

“Your father was a great man.”

As Mr. Kazantzakis interrupted me, his eyes were gentle, despite the situation. You could say they were full of compassion. I couldn’t fathom what he truly meant. My father… My father’s name is too tarnished to be praised. 

“Stop playing with me!”

“Your father did the right thing, Albert.”

Mr. Kazantzakis kept a straight face.He had a genuine and high opinion of my father, a traitor that tried to burn Paris down.

“He fulfilled his duty as a soldier. “Treason” is just an assessment by citizens and bureaucrats. He was always faithful to the ethics of the military.”

“The ethics of the military?”

“It’s perpetual allegiance to war. False peace leads to corruption of people. Albert, you misunderstand. Your father didn’t cross the Rubicon for personal reasons. He just…”

I couldn’t keep up with my ex-boss’s long winded speech. According to his logic, my father attacked Paris to destroy the peace with the Empire.

“Is that why you tried to stir up trouble with Janina? The plots to assassinate the Queen, blow up the embassy, ​​and spark another conflict with the Empire..."

He silenced me with a gentle wave of his hand.

“War is the state of society. A ceasefire would drastically change the industrial structure and threaten the livelihoods of many people. Surely the son of the great General Fernand de Morcerf would understand. 

“Shut up!”

I bent down and hit the man behind me, and leapt at the traitor in front of me. 

“That’s a pity.”

With that Mr. Kazantzakis pointed the  gun at me and pulled the trigger.

(p. 90)

Two of them bored in the luxurious waiting room

“It’s almost time…”

Mark said glaring at his pocket watch. His legs had been shaking slightly for a while. 

“Calm down. And stop fidgeting.”

“But now we’re going to be dragged before the dignitaries, you know?. Old man Padiu said we’re just reporting what we saw, but when you make it public, it's a bed of nails.”

Mark had been muttering to himself ever since the morning when he was brought to the Elysee Palace in a government car that had come to pick him up from his lodgings.

“They’re going to rip my heart out in front of everyone like an Aztec sacrifice.” or something like that. He was summoned to appear before a hearing attended by high-ranking officials from the Kingdom and the Empire. It’s natural that you would lose your composure. 

Mark looked at me resentfully.

“Albert, you're very calm.”

“I’ve been through the brink of death many times.” I said calmly. 

It’s half a bluff, but isn’t entirely a lie. If Max hadn’t shown up just in time last night, I would have been shot by Mr. Kazantzakis. Thinking back, I was probably under the watch of the intelligence department from the very beginning. Otherwise, there would be no way that a helping hand could be extended in a timely manner. 

Just as it looked like the bullet was about to pierce my chest, Max shot Mr. Kazantzakis down with a military-grade paralyzing gun.

“Reckless as always.”

Max laughed at that but I wish he could have helped sooner. 

Even so —

I can’t forget the look on Mr. Kazantzakis’ face as he was taken away. He was desperately trying to plead with Max. “If you’re a soldier, be on my side. Let’s rise up together with General Morcerf’s son.”

Prolonged war created people who cannot live without it. 

Probably my father too…

There was a knock.

“Witnesses, come here.”

The bailiff turned up to call Mark and I. We looked at each other and nodded.

“There’s no point in being nervous. Let’s go.”

Mark is right. There’s no point in being scared.

But there’s one thing that bothers me. Those are the parting words spoken by Mr. Kazantzakis, as he was being taken away.

He certainly said that:

“The imperial fleet surrounds the Janina system. No matter what you do, the war will begin again.”

(p.91)

I met the Leader in an unexpected place

“Albert Herrera, Mark Strogardzki. You have been summoned as witnesses to this inquiry…”

Lucien, who seemed to be acting as chairman, spoke in a stern tone.

We were seated in the witness stand, which was like the bottom of a mortar, in the middle of a huge hall. A spherical space that emits pear-like glow. It is a building exclusively used for secret meetings, completely protected from eavesdropping and attacks. Of course it's the first time for both Mark and I to come to a place like this. Despite trying to relax, I couldn't help but feel nervous. There were two other men sitting in the witness stand besides us. He may have been a diplomat or a soldier, or both; unlike us, he was sitting there calmly and without saying a word. I felt like I saw him before but I just can’t remember who it is. 

Directly in front of him was the chairman’s seat where Lucien sat. It was surrounded by a circular area of ​​seats for the members of parliament, which get higher as you go to the back. Normally, there would be a large number of senators gathered here, but today it was empty, with only a few familiar faces. Only the president, the chairman of the Senate, and a few people who appear to be interior affairs ministry bureaucrats are seated there. In front of them, an equal number of Imperial government officials, dressed in formal attire, sat.

“A certain person’s argument is about to begin. I’d like you to listen carefully to his story and then I’d like to ask some questions.”

As soon as he finished speaking, a tall man appeared on the podium that had been prepared mid air.

It was the Leader. He gave a dramatic bow to everyone looking down at him, then began to speak.

“The empire and the Kingdom have been fighting pointlessly for a long time over Janina. Today, I’m delighted to be able to put an end to that conflict…”

I looked at him in shock. 

Will this put an end to the fight over Janina?

What on earth is he trying to say?

Between the Empire and the Kingdom…

“Janina is a planet that holds special meaning to both the Empire and the Kingdom…”

The ringmaster began to speak in the same tone he used when performing at the circus.

“What makes Janina a special planet are the “Star Ruins” ... Needless to say, they are ancient structures built by an unknown species that visited the planet before our civilization…..”

I thought about the scene I saw at the ruins. These underground halls certainly led to another planet or maybe even to another world. An advanced technology that we had not yet achieved.

“The Empire and the Kingdom have tried to obtain and utilize that “power”. I'm sure you all will not deny that this is the cause of the long-lasting conflict between the Empire and the Kingdom."

(p. 92)

This was the first time I heard such a story. However, Lucien and the others nodded in agreement with the Leader’s words.

“Technology which is far more advanced than ours and foreign to us. Obtaining it was a top priority for both governments. This is because it was believed that losing this match would mean losing all dominance to the other side."

I finally understood. The Kingdom and the Empire had a clear purpose in competing for Janina.

“However, in the end, neither the Empire nor the Kingdom ever got hold of the "key" to the ruins. It continued to sleep without ever being returned to anyone. Until I came across it by chance on an abandoned planet on the edge of the galaxy…There were many interesting experiences along the way, but I'll save those stories for another time…”

The Leader looked at the group with a faint smile.

“I thought about how to use the power of the ruins. It might be a good idea to use it to rule the world…”

The officials were whispering to each other.

“But getting caught in a power struggle can be a real hassle. So I approached the newly crowned Queen of Janina for advice. We thought it would be a good idea to "seal" the ruins and separate the technology from our history forever. Fortunately, the wise Queen Haidee understood what I was saying. And..”

The Leader looked around at the group with a thoughtful look.

Lucien nodded with an emotional look on face.

“I have succeeded in “sealing” the ruins.” The Leader looked at us in the witness stand and said: “In the presence of diplomats from both governments…”

I was so surprised I stood up involuntarily. 

The long train ride, the camel ride through the desert and the night in the ruins…Was it all planned with that purpose?

The door behind us opened and what appeared to be medical staff carried in a coffin-like device.

“Finally, time to be sacrificed.”

Mark looked at me with a resigned look.

“We will now begin questioning the witnesses…”

Lucien said solemnly.

I felt as if I was put into a coffin alive

Mark and I were sitting on a sofa in the lobby drinking chocolate coffee with lots of sugar. We were exhausted. Standing on the witness stand…Well, I was just tied up and answered questions, but Mark was slumped over on the sofa. 

“The sweetness of sugar really hits home…”

He said still adding sugar cubes. Those are not normal nerves.

I told them exactly what I saw the Leader and Haidee do, and Mark assured them that I was indeed at the Star Ruins that night. That’s all there was to do. Totally easy –unless your brain is being accessed directly.

“But I guess this means I'm off the hook.…”

“If I had to do this over and over again, I’d definitely lose my mind.”

“In the end, the Leader and the Queen drove the civilization of the "Star Ruins" out of our reach, right?”

I nodded at Mark’s words.

“So for now the crisis is over. Apparently the Empire is withdrawing the fleet it sent to Janina.”

Is that really true? Will Janina be safe and Haide be able to focus on recovery with peace of mind?

As has been the case throughout history, the collapse will surely begin in the most unexpected places.

However, my thoughts were interrupted by the sight of the Leader walking towards a carriage parked just outside the lobby.

He flipped his cap and quickly walked away. It was as if he wanted to leave Paris as soon as possible. 

“Sorry, but please go back to the hotel first.”

Leaving Mark sitting there saying something, I followed the Leader. For some reason, I felt if I missed this opportunity I would never see him again.

(translator’s note: the secret tool paid off, so Albert tries to sneak out without a word because of his timid feelings, but now Edmond is doing the same for what reason?”

The departing carriage

“Are you planning to leave without revealing your identity?”

When I confronted him, the Leader shook his head from side to side in a troubled manner.

“As you can see I’m just a circus owner. I don’t have a true identity.”

Night was falling on the Champs-Elysees.

I didn’t give up.

“I can't help but feel like this isn't the first time I've been with you in this city.”

“Mr. Albert. I can only imagine what kind of response you're expecting. But..”

He gazed out at the twilight cityscape for a while.

“Even if that person survived I don’t think you should ever meet again.”

“Why? That person and I are bound together by fate. I want to see him again. Meet…”

“What are you planning to do if you did?”

I was speechless. What would I do if I met him again?

“Don’t stick to closed books. Shouldn’t your life be written in a separate book?”

“But at least Haidee…I believe Haidee, Bertuccio and Baptistin have the right to see him.”

(p.94)

“I believe that they too are already facing a different destiny…No, I may have been too presumptuous. Please forgive me for my rudeness.”

He turned his face towards me and put his foot on the carriage step.

“Farewell. I’m glad I met you.”

The carriage started moving.

“Where are you going from here?”

“I’ll be back on Janina soon.”

“Will we see each other again?”

“If that were to happen, I would be happy too.” He pointed his finger to my breast pocket. “Look at the memento I gave you. There, my destiny is written.”

The carriage picked up the peace and sped off, leaving me behind. I stood there, staring at the tail lights of the carriage as it receded into the distance.

Gone —.

Even when I return to Janina I probably won’t be able to meet him. There was something about his expression that conveyed a sense of tranquility that foresaw a separation.

Does Haidee know? The Leader’s true identity.

“Albert…”

I felt a gentle hand touch my shoulder.

“Eugenie…”

Marseille beach

The sound of crashing waves fills the air.

The sea breeze feels pleasant on my body after a swim.

“Why don’t you come over here? I’ll give you some cold cider.”

Eugenie said. 

But lying on the hot sand and feeling the wind blow on me feels so good I didn’t feel like moving.

A parasol, a basket full of food and a cooler full of drinks on a sheet laid out on sand. Everyone’s faces are lined up around it.

“Hurry up Albert. We have Eugenie’s special sandwiches.” Raoul is pleased, with his mouth full with an anchovy sandwich. ”After all, if one were to choose a wife, it'd have to be a woman who's good at cooking.”

“That why you keep getting dumped.” 

“Eugenie is still tough.”

“It's not that I'm the tough one, it's that Raoul is the easy one.”

(p.95)

“What’s that?”

“You’re loose-headed.”

“Ouch, Eugenie…”

As I lay there listening to this conversation in the distance, I felt like I was about to fall into a comfortable sleep.

“So, when is the due date?”

“...When was it, Valentine….”

“What, my husband doesn’t know the due date?”

“Come on, give him a beak, Maximilian was on a mission to Janina. At my request.”

“Is this an order from the famous Minister Debray? If he becomes your trusted adviser, Max’s life will be smooth sailing.”

“The world of politics is full of ups and downs. I don’t know when I’ll lose my footing.”

“Then I’ll write your memoirs in my newspaper. In your case, it seems like you're more interested in other inside stories than the political ones. Did he break up with his dancer girlfriend? There were various rumors…”

“Hey, hey, stop talking vulgarly in front of the ladies.”

“Eh, sorry, sorry.”

“By the way, why is Albert sleeping? It has been a while since we all last met.”

“He’s just a kid. When he comes to sea, he swims until he’s exhausted.”

“Well, I’ll go for another swim…”

The voices of Lucien, Beauchamp, Raoul, Max Valentine, Eugenie, mother and Morrel’s children could be heard. A familiar yet nostalgic voice fills the air. When was that? The last time we all spent time like this. Not on the sand, but on the grass. The glorious calm before the storm. 

On the grass, not on the sand—.Mysterious words ran through my head. It’s sad but there’s also a sweet feeling to it. No – I think again— He must be there even on the sand.

–Just before I fell asleep, I was sure I heard Franz's voice.

Another trip to Janina

I left the cabin and lay down on a chaise lounge on the deck. Mark had already started snoring in the top bunk, so I had run off early. 

The passenger ship to Janina was full. The boy who carried my luggage told me that the number of travelers had increased dramatically since Haidee ascended to the throne.

The Earth is shining blue right in front of my eyes. I habitually searched for the splendor of Paris on the surface of the earth. Eugenie and my mother, who came to see me off at the spaceport, should have arrived at the Opera House by now, right? While seeing me off, they (p. 96) were excited to go see an opera for the first time in a long while.

I took out a small box from my jacket’s inside pocket. This is an artifact from the Star Ruins that I received from the Leader at the Rospoli Hotel.

The smooth silver surface is decorated with relief. Among the countless star shapes scattered around, people with strange faces and wearing what appear to be togas are flying happily. Probably the people who built those ruins. It is unclear whether they are the same race that built the underground facilities in the ruins.

“There, my destiny is written.”

Said the Leader. 

That person is probably walking through these doors alone– that’s what I thought. I'm sure he plans to leave our world behind and go to some faraway world, following the same path as the people in this relief.

But if I stay on Janina, I’m sure we will meet again someday.

I decided to be optimistic.

I have my job. 

Janina still has a lot of problems ahead of it and will likely continue to face many more in the future. Mark and I may not be very reliable, but we'll do what we can. Thinking about that, I looked at the Earth. When will I return next—.

Soon the departure bell rang.

(p. 97)

(p. 98)

Afterword

It was my first time blogging.

To be honest I never wrote a journal.

It’s not like I was at loss, in fact I quite enjoyed writing.

Pretending to be someone else…No, writing a journal while pretending to be a different character is quite a strange experience. If you keep doing this, a different personality will gradually develop within you. If you were to examine brain activity while you are writing, you would probably find that different parts of your brain are more active than usual. It must have been, I imagine, that a similar phenomenon was occurring in the minds of those who sent me emails. If I had responded to the emails more promptly, things might have turned out even more amazingly. I’m a little disappointed about that. But, well, even if the blog ends, the personalities of Albert and his friends that were born will not disappear. I feel like they will continue to live and grow independently from now on. At very least the “Albert brain” is still alive and well inside me. It will be interesting to see what actions he takes from now on. I wouldn’t like it if my personality was taken over. 

Lastly, I would like to express my gratitude to Director Maeda Mahiro, the creator of Gankutsuou, to Yagira Hanako, who took on the unfortunate role of pushing me to keep updating the journal, and to all the readers who have been with me over the past year…

Kamyama Shuichi

Translator’s note: thank you for reading and if you got so far please give me some heads up so I won’t feel like I wasted my time. 

[universalzones]

"Come on Drippy, just do what ya did the other day when we were training," Surge said, attempting to coax Kit to use the ability that happened the other day why training. "And don't overthink, just feel it out and do it. From what I could tell that skill is something ya gotta trust your gut on."

"But, thinking is the way I've always used my hydrokinesis." Kit never thought about simply doing something without thinking. The fennec always thinks what they should do in great detail before doing anything. That's why Surge keeps them around, right? "How do I even act without thinking? Does that ever work?"

"Just do it! It ain't that hard!" Surge would suddenly yell, her temper easily getting the better of her. It was swiftly replaced with guilt seeing Kit flinch and taking a step back. 'Dammit Surge. Cool your fuckin jets. Kit ain't like you and you fuckin know it. Don't be stupid and yell at them. You're better than that. You're better than HE made you to be.' The tenrec would take a deep breath.

"I ain't sayin to shut ya brain off, though you gotta relax. Let your muscle's loosen up, just give a quick thought to what you wanna do, and then do it. That's the way I use my speed after all." To demonstrate this Surge would suddenly zip off towards the edge of the cliff they were close by, stopping which caused her to slide forward ever so slight, and finally stopping right on the edge while on one foot and on her tippy toes. "As I said, ya gotta feel it out."

Kit was quick to panic upon seeing Surge suddenly dash towards the cliff. The fennec about to spring into action, though stopped themself upon seeing the tenrec stop perfectly to be standing on her tippy toes at the very edge of the cliff. They sighed with relief before speaking. "O-Okay, but please, don't scare me like that," they said before looking at the very crude training dummy Surge put together.

'Shit, gotta stop freaking them out like that.' Surge just did that without thinking how Kit would react. "Sorry bout that Drippy," the tenrec said, swiftly rushing back over to them. "Now, show me what ya got. And remember, you got this." Hopefully her pep talk and demonstration would give the fennec a good confidence boost.

"R-Right, I got this. Just, feel it out," Kit said, despite the fact they were still painfully nervous. The fennec just couldn't stand the thought of disappointing Surge which made it hard to not overthink. 'J-Just gotta calm down. After all, this is only p-practice and Surge believes in me. I can d-do this, I HAVE to do this because she wants me to.' They would then light slap their cheeks. 'N-No, I'm not doing this because Surge wants me to. I'm doing this because I WANT to, not because I'm being told.' Sure the tenrec was encouraging them, though they knew she wasn't gonna force them if they couldn't get it.

'Okay, here we go.' Kit would summon a small amount of water from their hydropack. Only enough just to make small ninja star. Why did they choose this? Well, like Surge suggest they just gave a quick thought and this was what came to mind. Of course it didn't take long for thoughts to begin to flood the fennec's mind on what to do next.

'Oh no, no no no no no. Stop thinking, just, stop thinking and do it. Wait, I don't know what to do, though that's the point, right? I gotta do what Surge said. Feel it out, which means I should think about that. No, that doesn't make sense. I can't feel it out if I'm forcing myself to think about feeling it out.' Kit was having a full on melt down in their head.

Surge was just staring at Kit, knowing full well they were overthinking every little detail right now. 'Geez, maybe we should call it quits. Kit clearly isn't ready to try something like this. Not until we can get some more of Starline's brainwashing out of their head.' The tenrec was about to tell them they were done for the day when a random idea popped in her head.

"The dummy's gonna blow up in three seconds, do the thing!" Surge would suddenly shout. 'I seriously hope that puts Kit into overdrive and not freak them out. That's the last thing I need.' The tenrec knew they hated shouting, though this was her last ditch effort to help.

In that instance all thoughts faded away expect for the supposed threat that Surge just told them about. Without thinking Kit would summon more water from their hydropack, swiftly forming a sphere around the dummy. Suddenly the water would freeze over, thus making a sphere of solid ice around the dummy. With all that said they snapped out of autopilot after there was no explosion after three seconds. Before they could ask questions they felt Surge placing an arm around them.

"Now that's what I'm talkin about Drippy!" Surge wasn't gonna waste any time in giving Kit their credit in freezing that dummy in a solid sphere of ice. "The bomb stuff was a lie, though just look at that! You've got some crazy strong ice powers now, and no need for mine or Starline's help. See how strong you are?" The tenrec asked, giving the fennec a few good pats on the back.

Getting so much praise from Surge was nice, even if Kit was still a bit on edge after the sudden lie about a bomb. "T-Thank you. M-Maybe if I keep t-training I'll be s-stronger than you?" The fennec was nervous about asking that, though they were still trying to show the small confidence they have.

Now it was Surge's turn to get nervous upon hearing the question. 'Shit, the fuck do I say to that?! Do I say no? Do I say yes? I don't fuckin know how to answer this!' The tenrec then saw Kit's small smile start to fade as she remained quiet. She had to answer, now.

"You mean you don't know? Of course you'll end up stronger than me. You'll end up so strong you'll wipe the floor with me and beat me into the fuckin ground. Heck, I'm sure you'll be able to fight Sonic and Eggman by yourself, at the same time." Fuck that felt like too much. Hopefully Surge didn't freak Kit out.

Kit took a moment, processing everything Surge just to them. It was, a lot to take in, though suddenly their smile got big. "Y-Yeah! I'm sure I can do that! I'll get strong enough to fight on my own, just like you!" The fennec was clearly having a large burst of confidence right now.

"That's what I'm talkin about!" Surge couldn't help feel glad that Kit was finally believing in themself and their own power. "Course I won't make it easy for ya. You'll have to train hard if you wanna get stronger than me!" The tenrec wasn't gonna get surpassed easily.

"Then I'll make sure to keep training hard! I won't give up no matter what!" For the moment Kit was free from the constant thoughts telling them only to protect and listen to Surge. Free from the constant worry and stress of Surge getting hurt. Free of wondering what they would do without someone to tell them what to do. The fennec only felt joy, excitement, encouragement, and self confidence at this moment.

"Though I never thought I'd be a cryomancer. I wonder if I had this power before or maybe it was always there and is only showing up now." Kit would have to look into it as this sudden ability to turn water into ice did show up out of nowhere.

"Save it for later. We've been training all day so let's pack it up, get some grub, and call it a day," Surge said while ruffling Kit's hair. The tenrec figured it'd be best to get some food and rest up as she was sure they'd be training tomorrow too. Thus the two walked off to find the nearest town so they could get some food.

[quitsproquo]

The One with One Percent Dream.

Do it your way.

That’s been my family’s motto forever, though I don’t think they meant it as literally as I took it. I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve “done it my way,” for better or worse. Moving all the way from the US, picking my degree from some random website (thanks, nameofwheel), and plenty of other questionable calls that didn’t exactly scream success. But honestly? Moving out of that house after I graduated? Best. Decision. Ever.

I have never been wanted. In my family. I did my best, like they told me to do, but it never fills up their glass of faith in me. Never once. 

For instance, I always sit on the side of the table where no one ever passes the tray to me (even now), they almost left me in Universal Studios when I was nine, and the worst was I got my brother’s old car for my fifteenth birthday.

My name is Rachel, but to sum it up; I’m living Monica’s unfortunate life minus the supportive friends and cute husband. I’m the last child of the most picture-perfect suburban family. Except, in this picture, I’m the smudge in the corner they can’t seem to wash away.

And I have a plan. The plan wasn’t complicated. Save up just enough to buy a one-way ticket, stuff my life into my suitcase, and head to Walker City. I didn’t even know what I’d find there—I just knew I wouldn’t find it here.

I started small, one percent out of a hundred. Scribbling logo ideas on napkins during breaks. Scrolling through social media at 2 a.m., looking for talent—models with potential but no big agency backing them. I wanted to build something for myself. Thus, One Percent was born. 

Somewhere along the way, I stopped feeling like the smudge in someone else’s picture. I started making my own picture, my own story.

And aside from that, I’m pursuing my MBA at Walker International Institute. Yeah, I know—modeling agency founder doing an MBA sounds like an oddball, but hear me out.

When I first started One Percent, it was all gut instinct, late nights, and sheer determination. I had no clue what a P&L statement was or why people kept throwing around words like “scalability.” All I knew was that I wanted to create something bigger than myself, something that could actually last.

So, I decided to level up. Walker International Institute isn’t just any school—it’s the place for people who are ready to make moves, and I wanted in. The first day of class, I felt like a total imposter, surrounded by these polished, corporate types who could probably balance a budget in their sleep. But the funny thing is, when I told them about One Percent, they leaned in. They wanted to know more.

Turns out, building a business from scratch—especially one in the cutthroat modeling world—gets some respect. And honestly? The things I’m learning here are changing the game for me. Marketing strategies? Check. Financial planning? Finally starting to make sense. Leadership skills? Let’s just say I’m not winging it anymore when I give my team pep talks.

And to think about it again, One Percent isn’t just an agency—it’s a reminder. That even the smallest chance can be enough if you’re willing to bet on yourself.

And me? I’m all in.

[ace-of-hugs]

even more incorrect quotes of my ocs because I still love them

Ember: H-how do you ask someone out? 

El: Well, first- 

Iris: Don't ask her, she asked me out in a McDonalds parking lot. 

Ember: ...And you said yes?

*El is casually searching around the room* 

Iris: Hey El, what’re you looking for? 

El: My will to live. 

*Wynter walks into the room* 

El: Oh, there it is.

Wynter: Now, El, all of us are doing this because we care about you, okay? 

Ember: Except for me. I just wanted to see the look on your face.

El: How late were you up last night? 

Ember & Iris, in tandem: Me? 

El: No, not you two. You stay up late all the time. 

El, to Wynter: You.

Ember: What are the hardest things to say? 

El: I was wrong. 

Iris: I need help. 

Wynter: Worcestershire sauce

Ember: You've been given a new job to do, but I'm worried it might make you angry. 

Wynter:  Just say it quick, like ripping off a band-aid. 

Ember: You have to teach El how to drive. 

Wynter: ...put the band-aid back on.

Iris: *lifting weights* 

El: Wow… she’s so intense! 

Wynter: I wonder what drives her. 

Iris, internally: Oh I am going to be SO good at giving hugs.

El: Ooh, somebody has a crush 

Wynter: Pfft, I don’t have a crush on Ember I just think they’re cool, it’s not like I stay up at night thinking about them. 

*Later that night* 

Wynter, very much awake: Uh oh.

*Iris is telling a story* 

El: Wow, Iris, this story has everything! Action! Adventure! Romance! 

Ember: Romance? 

El: I have a crush on her.

El: Is this your plan B? 

Wynter: Technically, this is plan P. 

El: Plan P? Is there a plan M? 

Wynter: Yes, but I marry Ember in plan M. 

Ember: I like plan M.

Iris: I will find us a covered wagon and horses. 

Iris: If you two can manage to not kill each other while I'm gone. 

Ember: Oh, please. We're not children. 

*Iris leaves* 

Ember, casually: ...Eat shit and die. 

El, also casually: Yes, fuck you.

*The gang is about to do something dangerous* 

El: Shouldn’t someone give a pep talk? 

Ember: Go ahead. 

El: Be careful. 

El: Don’t die. 

Iris: *Holds back a laugh* 

Ember: Great. We’re all bloody inspired.

El: The results are in, I’m afraid you have updog… 

Wynter: What’s updog? 

El: Ember! Get in here, I told you I could do it!

Wynter: You know what bothers me? Bats. Why can bats fly? 

Ember: Not again! 

Wynter: No. Seriously, who gave them the right? They're mammals! Mammals walk on land, no exceptions. 

El: Just wait until you hear about whales. 

Wynter: What now?

El: Wynter, if you don't shut up I'm going to throw myself out of the car. 

*click* 

El: DID YOU JUST TURN THE FUCKING CHILDRENS' LOCK ON?!

Iris: What kinds of sounds annoy you? 

El: Are we talking real sounds or imaginary ones? 

Iris, now interested: Lets say imaginary. 

El: Spiders wearing flip flops.

El: My crush isn’t picking up on my hints. 

Wynter: What hints have you given them? 

El: Well, I think about her a lot. 

El: And sometimes I even think about talking to her.

El: Remember that time you dared me to lick a swingset? 

Iris: No, I said "El, don't lick that swingset" and you said "Don't tell me what to do" and licked the swingset.

Iris: Do you have a bobby pin? 

El: Yeah. *searches in their hair* 

El: Oh, no, wait. I’m not a nine-year-old girl.

Wynter: WHY DID YOU KILL HIM?! HE COULD HAVE HAD HOPES AND DREAMS, HE COULD HAVE HAD A FAMILY!!! 

Ember: Wynter- 

Ember: It- it was just an ant-

Ember: We’re fucked.

Wynter: Hey, no. I don’t want to hear that defeatist attitude. I wanna hear you upbeat!

Ember: We’re fucked!

El: And I’d love to be sorry for that, but we all know I’ve done much, much worse.

Iris: Fruits that do not live up to their names; passionfruit, grapefruit, honeydew and dragonfruit. 

Iris: Fruits that do live up to their names? 

Iris: Orange.

Iris: I would never say that my girlfriend is a bitch and I don’t don’t like her. That’s not true… My girlfriend is a bitch and I like her so much!

El: Being gay isn't a choice. It's a game and I'm winning.

Iris: Where are you going? 

El: Hell, eventually.

[hero-deserves-to-be-happy]

!!my own tag and a thanks in the authors notes!! :D!! am beaming over my words being that encouraging!! you guys really are the sweetest... wow...

first off wanted to reply- my favorite in the series so far's gotta be "am I ready for love? or maybe just a best friend"! I love how the various conversations and introspections flow, love the glimpses we get there of hero's college life and friends, and him intentionally opening up to zoey at the end and receiving that support is SO lovingly written and soso important and cathartic. I also really like the 3rd and 5th chapters of "when sun shines again"- aubrey being hurt on hero's behalf and tearfully wanting for him to have a "hero" of his own and sunny and hero hanging out and the stretch at the end after leaving the coffee shop are very dear to me ("You're Hero. I think you can do anything." is SO GOOD.). those are the bits I've probably revisited the most, but "under the weather" earns a shout out too though for being the work I was introduced to this series through! I'd been hesitant on it for purely personal taste (romances aren't typically my scene, and I can have a hard time connecting to fandom OCs; so I wasn't sure if it'd be for me- again, purely on my end ^^;), but ultimately I really like hero and I'm a sucker for a good sickfic xD so I gave it a shot, and I'm really glad I did!!

I also wanted to say, if it's alright: loneliness is a topic deeply important to me, and hearing the theming and intentions in your approach to it is really cool. I really appreciate it not being as simple as a feeling that just goes away once you're around people and have a good conversation or two- hero's loneliness is self-inflicted and behavioral, and something the work actively seeks to have him face, little by little. hearing your plans longterm in how you aim to handle it and where you plan to go makes me all the more excited to see what you guys have cooking!! I wholeheartedly believe it's good and important to tell and explore the kind of story this whole project is, and I thank you heartily for doing so.

(gonna cut myself short here and circle back around to share my thoughts on chapter 7 when I've got more time, so best tidings til then!) -🩶

Awww hello 🩶 Anon-Friend! It is such a joy to see you in our inbox again. Thank you so much for your ask!! 💕

You are so sweet, and you're very welcome for the words of thanks in the author's note for the most recent chapter. (We hope you enjoyed the chapter & that it was a good one for your thank you). The encouragement really means so much to us. It's a bit like Aubrey's "Pep Talk" skill in Headspace. Just getting told "You Can Do It" and that someone is actually very excited to read what we write, is interested in our project, and thinks that it is a meaningful and important story to tell is incredibly motivating! At this point, we have such a clear vision of this story and these characters in our minds so there's less of that sense of urgency to actually write it down (because we already know what happens), so to be told by someone else, "Hey, I really love this and I'm invested and I want to know what happens too" is really a great inspiration and motivation to finally get it written and posted for other people who want to see it. So really, thank you so much again for sharing that and all of your thoughts with us! It means everything 💖

Thank you so much for sharing about your favorite parts of the project so far too! We've put most of the discussion of that under the cut because of OMORI spoilers and because this ask is, once again, very lengthy. Apologies in advance for all the ramblings. ^^

It means so much to hear that you deeply connected with "Am I Ready For Love? Or Maybe Just A Best Friend" especially because that was kind of our way of testing the waters and seeing if there was even an interest in a story like this.

We honestly would have had no hard feelings if it just wasn't anyone's cup of tea. It's kind of funny, the personal preferences in fics & genres that you mentioned in your ask are very similar to mine (Acacia's). I have been writing fanfiction for over a decade (though was only was brave enough to start posting it a couple years ago), but I think I have written Canon Character x OC only 2 times ever and never, ever when there was an existing pairing. I also usually don't write romance at all. It's just generally not my thing and I generally prefer the platonic relationships between characters, but just like you said, ultimately, I love Hero and telling this story about his life after the good ending and giving him the chance to heal and to be happy and to open himself up to love again (if that's what he wants) was so important to me that I decided to give it a try even though it often feels I'm probably not the best person for the task. 😅

I think that's one of the big reasons why "When Sun Shines Again" is so broad in scope and is about so much more than just the (eventual) romance plotline. I mean we are over 54,000 words into this story and they haven't even met yet which I do feel guilty about but honestly it's because this story isn't just about that. It's about Hero making peace with his grief and learning how to build a new life for himself around it. The things that he has been through in his life are not things that he'll ever completely get over, but he can learn to get past them and can learn to be happy again. His life won't be the same as it was when Mari was alive, but that doesn't mean it can't be happy and can't be meaningful.

Again, we are both such passionate HeroMari shippers and we do sincerely hope that our series, even if it does involve Hero eventually finding love again, still reflects the reverence, respect, and love that we have for that relationship and how much we also wish that they had gotten their "forever." The last thing we would ever want to do is to try to erase or replace Mari, and I think that was one of the big inspirations for the "Am I Ready For Love..." story.

When I was first trying to imagine who is this person that Hero might open his heart to again, this scene--where he opens up to her about Mari--was the scene I could see vividly in my mind. I just kept going back to this idea of him being vulnerable with her and trusting her enough to tell her about Mari, back before it's even "relevant" since they're not dating (and that's not even on the radar). They're just friends, so she doesn't even really have to know (technically), but (like you so aptly said in your ask), he "intentionally open[s] up to her" because she sees him. She sees how lonely he is and how much he's hurting. And ultimately he shares this deeply personal pain with her, even though he doesn't know how she's going to react, and (l think it's addressed in multiple different side stories but) he is so moved and just awed by the fact that she cares about him so much that she cries.

It hasn't come up yet but will be established in "When Sun Shines Again" that Zoey is not a crier. Kyle has a line a couple of chapters from now about how he has only seen her cry one time (and "it was awful" and he "never want[s] to see that again") so this is kind of a big thing for her as a character. But even beyond that, to be shown such empathy and such support, means everything to Hero regardless of whether this person never cries or cries all the time. He has finally shared this very vulnerable part of himself that he never opens up about because he's so worried about hurting someone, and she cries--not because she's hurt or broken for her own sake but because her heart aches for him and his suffering. When she tells him that she wishes he had gotten his forever with Mari, she means it, even though she knows that might mean they would never meet, would never become friends. His happiness is more important to her than even that.

And to us, that's real love--in a platonic sense here, of course, but that qualifier really shouldn't matter. The fact that he's not even dating her at this point was intentional. It's platonic between them, but she still loves him this much and she shows him the support that Hero has so desperately wanted but never really allowed himself to have. Even if nothing romantic ever developed between them, Hero finding a friend in her and opening himself up and allowing himself to be vulnerable and ultimately finding that support and that comfort is so important. If anything it's more important than the idea of him finding "romantic love" again.

As much time & effort as we have devoted to this universe in which Hero loves romantically again, neither one of us are convinced that he needs a romantic relationship to be happy. It's very possible he will never even want one, and that's okay. But everyone wants and needs to be loved. And we are convinced that Hero will need friends, will need family, will need to open his heart to someone in some way (even a platonic one) in order to ever be happy again.

We named that fic after these really poignant lines from AJR's song "Turning Out" (YouTube; Spotify link in song title):

Am I ready for love? Or maybe just a best friend Should there be a difference Do you have instructions?

And we chose this because one of the big themes in this story and at this point in Hero's life, is that it doesn't really matter if he's ready for romantic love or just having a best friend again. What matters is that he opens himself up to love again in general. He closed off his heart when Mari died, not just to romance but to the love of his friends and family too, and it left him lonely. It's amazing how you addressed that in your ask as well and it means a lot to hear that you are really compelled by how we're handling that in the series so far too. Loneliness is a deeply painful experience because deep down everyone wants to be loved for who they really are and for their own sake. Hero cutting himself off from that has just left stagnant in misery, and we absolutely agree with you that a lot of this is self-inflicted and will not have an easy or quick fix but will be an ongoing process of healing and slowly opening his heart again. We hope we'll be able to do justice to that journey in our story because we truly believe that the only way for him to really break free from that kind of suffering is to allow himself to be vulnerable again.

And this means, to be vulnerable with anyone who loves him. When what matters is that Hero allows himself to be comforted, to be cared for, to be cried for, and to be loved again, there really shouldn't be a qualifier on that kind of love (i.e. romantic or platonic). In this case, there really shouldn't be a difference.

There are really no words to describe how much it means to us to hear you describe that scene as "SO lovingly written and so so important and cathartic." That was absolutely 100% what we were going for and what I really tried convey when I was writing it so it is so encouraging to hear that we succeeded in that.

We're also thrilled to hear that you enjoyed the Aubrey and Sunny chapters as well. Aubrey is my favorite character beside Hero and Sunny is Sprinkles' favorite, so I think we really brought our A-game for those chapters especially. 😅 In a lot of ways, those are kind of unexplored and underrated friendships so it was really nice to get to the opportunity to really give each of those the spotlight, and I'm honestly squealing a little at the specific lines and moments that you've chosen as especially meaningful to you. I actually cried real tears when I wrote that scene between Aubrey and Hero where she kind of breaks down and begs him to find someone to open up to and rely on because he's always been that person for her. I think it really sets the scene for what the rest of this story (particularly in this college portion) is really about.

That line from Sunny is one of my favorites in the series so far as well. We were really struggling a lot with how to end that Sunny chapter when I suddenly had this spark of inspiration of ending with this scene where Hero expresses this sort of uncertainty about his future and I could just hear that line from Sunny reassuring him that "You're Hero. I think you can do anything" and just kind rekindling that sense of purpose in him since he really has been so lost since Mari passed away.

Lastly, I'll admit I was a little surprised but very giddy to hear that it was actually "Under The Weather" that first got you interested in this series. That was an extremely self-indulgent fanfiction I wrote for my birthday, so I honestly wasn't really expecting anyone else to connect with it but I posted it anyway just in case (especially since like you mentioned, I think a lot of people enjoy sick fics). I've been so flattered and really blown away to hear that people have enjoyed that story and been moved by it. It's definitely one of my personal favorites, and it really means a lot to hear that not only is it dear to you too but also that it got you interested and invested in "When Sun Shines Again." 🥺

Thank you so much for sharing that with us and for sharing all of your lovely thoughts & feedback! We've really enjoyed getting to hear your very thoughtful takes and getting to have these discussions with you. Please take care, friend! 💙

[resi4skz]

From Brush to Heart (a bang chan fanfic) CHAPTER 13

Pairings: Bang Chan/Rebecca(OC), Han/Luna(OC) Genre: Romcom

I gasp as I hear Chan telling Hyunjin he doesn't like me. He doesn't like me. Turning around, I decided I had enough drama for the night. Walking towards the elevator, tears form in my eyes. "This is not the time to cry. This is the time to get out while I still can." I gave myself pep talk when my phone rings. Taking it out of my handbag, I see it's Chan. Why is he calling? Does he not know what he just did? I turn off my phone as more tears form in my eyes, wiping them away from my cheeks.

The elevator arrives and I hesitate to get on, I turn my head, with little hope I had left that he would come around the corner looking for me. As I hear footsteps, I smile but when I see a staff member come around the corner, my smile falters. "Guess it wasn't meant to be." I get on the elevator feeling empty, I press 'P' for parking floor. 

As the elevator doors start closing, a voice calls out. "Rebecca!" A hand comes in between forcing the doors to open again. There stands Bang Chan, all in glory wearing all black from head to toe, his blue hair on display. I wipe my tears and stand up straight as he walks inside. 

"What do you want?" I sounded bitter but that's because of the obliviousness he has. 

"Why did you leave?" Chan asked, looking at me.

"Seriously?" I asked, now really angry. If he hadn't asked me that, I would'nt have gotten angry in the first place!

"Why are you so angry?" I blink at him. And then I burst into fits of laughter. "What's so funny?"

"Oh my god," I say as I try to compose myself. "I seriously can't believe you're asking me after what I just witnessed." He just stares at me and it just pisses me off more so I lay everything on him. "I have helped you whenever you needed it. I even vouched for you and took the blame for your sake!" I was now breathing heavily as he looked stunned. "It's my fault that I caught feelings for you. And from the look on your face right now, maybe it wasn't the best decision to tell MY best friend that I've liked him for the past 3 years."

A few mins go by, the elevator door opens and I squeeze past him. As I walk to my car, a hand grabs my wrist and turns me around. "Where are you going?"

"I'm leaving," I say as I shake his hands off. As I walk towards my car, tears roll down my cheeks. Stupid. I'm so stupid. Why on earth would I think that he would fall for me? He's an idol. I'm just an ordinary person. When I'm about to start my car, my phone ringing makes me jump. Taking it out of my bag, his name flashes across the screen. I was angry. I was angry at him.

I needed to get out of here. So I drive straight home. I need a shower. A long hot shower. And ice cream. Lots of it. But when I enter the apartment, I'm greeted by a happy Luna. "Hey, I was just about to call you.......what happened?"

I shake my head at her and head straight to my room to take out comfy clothes before going to the bathroom. When the hot water hits my face, washing away the makeup along with fresh tears. I don't know how long I stayed under the water. I just wanted to feel numb. Did he not see the way I looked at him every time we were together? Did he seriously not know? Was he that oblivious?

When I do finally get out, I look in the foggy bathroom mirror, I wipe it with my hand and.... I look like a hot mess. Eyes red and puffy. And I feel like I need a month's worth of sleep. When I finally enter the living room, there's a tub of my favorite flavor of ice cream waiting for me. And Luna, going through netflix, probably to put on a movie. I sit beside her with the ice cream in my lap and a spoon in my hand. Taking a spoonful of the strawberry flavored ice cream, I enjoy the bliss for a few seconds. "I think....I think I'm going to take a small break from work."

"Wait, what?" Luna says as she turns towards me. "What happened?"

Turning my head, I smile with a tear falling down my cheek. "Luna. Why is it always me?"

"What do you mean?"

"Is there something wrong with me?" I didn't want to cry but the tears wouldn't stop. "I told him."

"Oh, honey," she says as she envelopes me in a hug. "What did he say?"

"He told the others he doesn't like me. So, I turned off my phone before coming home."

"That little....do you want me to beat him up for you?" I blink at her before bursting out laughing. "What?"

"Nothing," I smile as I loop my left arm around her and lay my head on her shoulder. "I'm just glad you're here, bestie."

"Me too." She presses play as Shrek starts playing. For the rest of the night, we watch different movies and eat all kinds of snacks while laughing at our own jokes. 

*2nd day*

I've been mostly staying  athome and I've been catching up on my sleep. No more waking up at odd hours just to get to work. I still hadn't turned on my phone. I kept myself occupied with my new ps5 I bought with lots of games to play. Even Luna joined me to play a 2 player game when she had a day off. It was all I could do not think about him. 

*3rd day*

Today was a little better. But I didn't get out of bed, only to get food or go to the bathroom. I played games on the iPad and had another TV delivered to put in my bedroom so I could play on the ps5. One look from Luna was all it took for me to shut my door. I didn't want to face him or anybody.

*5th day*

I was at my wits ends. I was running out of games to play because I had completed all of them. I now wore my pjs all day and only ate junk food. Luna had come home yesterday to find me sleeping on the couch with my hand still in a bag of chips. She scolded me for it when I woke up and told me to take a shower. Maybe.... once I'm okay enough. Maybe then I'll be able to face everybody.

*8th day*

It has now been a week. I had taken a shower and pampered myself. Even got my hair dyed back to black since it was my natural color anyway. I walked into my room when I noticed my phone sitting on my desk. It hadn't been turned all this while....so I plug the charger in and wait for it turn on. Once it lights up to the lockscreen, I pause. It's a picture of the boys. Smiling, I put the passcode in and once it's connected to the wifi, my phone gets bombarded with missed calls and messages. I click on the kakao group chat with the boys and I see their warm words telling me to take all the time I need to come back. As I'm catching up on their messages, a message notification comes up. It's Chan. My smile falters. Debating if I should read it or leave him on 'read'....."Fuck it." I click on his name.

C: Becca, I'm sorry. Please pickup. C: Becca, please. C: Rebecca, pickup please. I'm going crazy over here. C: please

My heart does a flip when I see the 3 dots forming. As I'm about to type, his message comes through.

C: Becca?

Not even a second later, another message.

C: are you there?

R: yes.

C: omg finally! Do you know how worried i was? I couldn't reach for a week!

R: what do you want?

C: to talk to you.

R: then talk.

C: in person.

In person? I don't think I'm ready to see him just yet. But my heart hammering against my chest is saying otherwise. Dammit, I'm going to regret this later.

R: fine. Where?

C: can you come to the studio right now? Im working here for the next few hours. 

R: see you in a few.

Sighing, I get up and change. I wear comfy yet casual, baggy jeans, white tanktop with a green cardigan. Light makeup and brushed out my hair. Once satisfied looking in the mirror, I grab my things and head out.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

I'm standing outside the door of his studio, mentally preparing myself. As I'm about to knock, the door swings opens, revealing Chan standing in all black, except for his hair. And he looked beautiful, even without makeup. His eyes widen when he sees me. "Becca? You...you dyed your hair."

"Hi." It's all I can manage to get out. I mentally slapped myself for not coming up with anything better to say.

He stands aside, letting me inside. As I walk in, all the flashbacks of being in here hits me like a ton of bricks, even if they were only a few times. "How are you? You look good."

"Thanks. I'm well." I turn to look at him. He looks thinner. And looks like he's not been sleeping well  I wonder if he's been eating right. "You look busy," I state, glancing around the studio. The equipment I got him placed nicely in front of his macbook with the 3 big screens on the wall.

"Yeah, well comes with the perks of being an idol. No free time."

I chuckle at his statement and he smiles at me. "What?" I blink at him.

"I've missed your laugh." 

My smile falters. If he saying something again....

"The boys miss you. I miss you. I miss my best friend." 

Tears start to form in my eyes. "I really can't do this." I start walking towards the door when I'm spun around. 

"Why did you leave that day?" He asks firmly.

"You know exactly why." 

"No, I don't know why." Do I need to spell it out for him?

"Do you think my feelings are a joke?" I look at him, now determined to know answers.

He blinks at me, perplexed. "What? No! What made you think that?"

"Then why did you say you didn't like me when Hyunjin asked you?"

He blinks again and scrunches his nose. "What?"

Sighing, I yank and free my arm. "I'm leaving." I turn around but I let out a gasp when I'm turned around again, both of his hands on my arms."What the fuck? Let me go."

"No."

"What do you mean 'no'?" 

"I mean no. I let you leave that day. I'm not about to let you leave again and ghost me for a week. This past week has been hell for me. Did you know I almost collapsed?"

My eyes widen. "What?"

"Yeah. Of course you wouldn't. Your phone was off. When you left that day, a part of me was crushed and I couldn't understand why till today, when I saw you standing outside the door."

I could only blink at him. Is that why he looked so weak? 

"Your feelings are not a joke to me. As for the incident, if you had just stayed, you would've heard me about to tell them I like you as well."

Blinking my eyes at him, the hair on my neck stood up. "What?" 

"When you left, my heart broke in half."

"And you think mine didn't? I was a mess for a whole week, Chan. Today was the only day when I actually started feeling better. What did you expect from a girl who heard the guy she's liked for the past 3 years say he doesn't like her back?!" I blew up at him. "Did you expect me to stay? Did you expect me to just wait fo--" my words get cut short as a pair of warm lips land on mine. When it finally registers, I push him back. "What...what are you doing?"

"Stop talking." He cups my cheeks and crashes his lips on mine again. I'm caught by surprise but I fist the front of his shirt as I close my eyes and kiss him back. His hands travel down my hips as my arms slowly go around his neck, fisting his blue hair earning a moan from him causing him to gently push me back till my back hits the door. An electricity jolt goes through us as we pour our feelings for each other into the kiss. I'm kissing my best friend. I'm kissing the man who just told me he likes me as well. And his kisses taste like vanilla. With a hint of mint.

As we come up for air, he rest his forehead on mine, biting his lip as he smiles. "I've been waiting to do that."

"Likewise." I say smiling. We both laugh when he swoops down again and kisses me again. I welcome it and lose myself in the kiss. Oh god, please don't let this end. His hand grabs my hair tightly causing me to let out a moan. Thank god this room doesn't have any cameras. Otherwise, we would've been in big trouble. "I don't think think you're going to get any work done if we keep doing this."

"Fuck work," he whispers as leans in for another kiss  and this time he bites my lower lip causing me to open my mouth so he could devour me. I felt like this was a dream. The only thing I was focused on was the way his lips felt. And his hands. And his lips. Oh god, his lips. I've wanted to know what these lips tasted like ever since I first met him. Vanilla. Mint. But as much as I wanted to carry this more, it wasn't the appropriate place so I gently push him back.

"Channie," I giggle when he places soft kisses on my cheeks and on the side of my neck. "You need to work. You and the boys have a lot of events coming up." He shakes his, keeping his mouth on my neck so I grab his head diverting his attention on me. "Please?

He sighs and looks at me. "Fine. But you text me when you get home."

"Deal." I smile as he lets me go and sits on the chair, going back to what he was doing. He turns his head, his dimples pop out as he winks at me. My cheeks warm and butterflies in my stomach, my head was all fuzzy. I felt like I was on cloud 9. I say bye to him before leaving but that's not how he wanted to say bye at all. The man was unstoppable but I made a promise to text him once I get home. And when I got home, I was thankful Luna wasn't home yet. When I reach my room, my phone vibrates and I take it out of my handbag, still smiling.

C: did you get home safely, babygirl?

R: yes. are you going to keep calling me that?

C: what? babygirl? 

R: yes

C: i think you just answered your own question.

R: but you never asked me properly....

R: will you be my girlfriend, babygirl?

If Luna was to barge in right now, I wouldn't even care if she got mad at me.

R: yes

C: yay :) i cant wait to tell the guys.

R: i have to tell Luna.....

C: babe, i dont think telling her the news with your sharp mouth is the best idea...

Oh, he got jokes, does he?

R: hah says the the person who tried to hit on me on my first day of work.

C: ouch. 

R: dont you have music to make? 

C: nah, baby. the only music is your voice to my ears.

Becca: oh my god. you've lost it. You've actually lost it

C: but i havent lost you.

Becca: BAHNG CHRISTOPHER CHAHN GO TO WORK

C: ne~ ;)

I smile at the screen. I have a boyfriend. Luna's going to flip when I tell her.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning I was woken up by my phone ringing. Groaning, I reach for it with closed eyes. Who the hell is calling this early? I put it next phone, still laying in bed. "Yeoboseyo?"

"Uri gongjunim il-eonass-eoyo?" The voice asks.

"Nuguseyo?

"Neoui sae namjachingu."

"Na namjachingu eobs-eoyo," I reply, half asleep.

"Oh, so you're saying the kiss last night meant nothing?"

My eyes shot open and I spring up in my bed. "Chan?"

He laughs soflty, music to my ears. "I can't believe you forgot us already."

Us. US. My lips curve up into a smile, tucking a hair strand behind my eyes. "I didn't forget. I'm not a morning person."

"Oh, did I wake you? I'm sorry."

This man...... "Channie, it's okay. I'm glad you woke me up or otherwise, my roommate would've barged in to wake me up."

"Hey."

"Yeah?"

"Na joh-ahae," he says, in his honey voice.

I wanna scream into a pillow. The blush creeps to my cheeks. "Me too."

"See you at work?"

"Yeah. See you at work." I hang up and squeal into my pillow when my room door burts open. "Jesus, do you ever knock?" I see Luna with a box in her hand and her expression is...I can't quite read it. "What is it?"

"This," she says, raising the box. "Was dropped off just now. No name. I also happened to see who dropped it."

My smile falter and the same fear sets in. "And you picked it up? Are you stupid? What if it was a bomb?" I walk to her and grab the box, immediately reching at the smell. "What the hell?"

"Yeah, I had the same reaction until I looked inside," she states.

I set the box on my desk and proceed to open it. I shriek loudly, taking a step back. "What the fuck? What the fuck is that?!" 

I want to throw up. "It's a rat."

"A dead rat?" I exclaim. "Who in their right mind sends a dead rat?"

"The same person who knocked on our door."

I look at Luna, shocked. "What do they want?"

"I looked at the intercom and I don't know if it's my morning brain still waking up but he looked familar."

"He? What makes you think it's a male?"

"Because when he stood up, he took a key from his pocket and the keychain around it had white axes."

No....no, it surely cannot be. I walk to the intercom and replay the video that it recorded. I see him bend down and place the box before he stands up. And then as Luna said, he takes out a key and it had a keychain. I squint my eyes a bit and zoom in on his hand. The white axes that I gave to him on his birthday, poke out light as day. "Ryan."

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A/N: dun dun dunnnnnnn. Two updates in a row because I couldn't wait to write Bec-Chan. Also, she has a korean name. Can anyone guess? :)

For those who don't understand the korean:

Yeoboseyo = hello Uri gongjunim il-eonass-eoyo? = Is our princess awake? Nuguseyo= who is it neoui sae namjachingu = your new boyfriend na namjachingu eobs-eoyo = i don't have a boyfriend Na joh-ahae = i like you

CH 1 | CH 2 | CH 3 | CH 4 | CH 5 | CH 6 | CH 7 | CH 8 | CH 9 | CH 10 | CH 11 | CH 12