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honeyhoshi · 9 months ago

Text

you do it naturally

summary: the hiding, the secrets, and staying back to watch him shine has never been an issue. until today.

it’s the night before the biggest show of his life, but it’s soonyoung's turn to show her that he’s her biggest fan.

this is a part of the playlist universe

genre: social media au/trad fic hybrid, solo idol au, celebrity x non-celebrity

wordcount: 4,606

pairing: solo idol!hoshi x afab!reader

warnings: discussions about self-esteem issues, body image/weight, feelings of jealousy, plenty of frustrated tears, afab reader, female anatomy, fingering, squirting, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, creampie, crying during sex (good!!), dirty talk (lovingly), pussy drunk hoshi (canon), implied chubby/bigger reader

author's notes: unfortunately i am horribly in love with hoshi so this is my humble contribution to his smut tag

As someone whose life revolved around sugar, butter, and flour, this was a new world. The tension in the air is palpable and the flurry of activity is so different from the kind of rush you’re used to. You’re nearly tripping over your feet trying to catch up to the member of the staff who's been sent to assist you. This must be so out of their scope of work, it's almost embarrassing how clueless you are to all of this.

It’s been three years since you started dating Soonyoung, and while you’ve never missed one of his shows in Seoul, this is your first time attending one of his rehearsals. He’s notorious for being laser focused and demanding of his team, making sure everyone remembered their collective goal of an amazing show. You never wanted to get in the way of that or to be considered a distraction.

In fact, that’s always how you’ve operated as his girlfriend. You understand where you stand, what your role is, and when it’s time to work, you will stand back and let him shine.

But when you make it to the front of the stage, taking a seat close to Soonyoung’s managers after giving them a friendly smile, you can’t help the wave of pride that comes over you as you take everything in. The stage is massive, the largest Soonyoung’s ever had, and over thirty dancers are on stage with him as he adjusts the blocking and tweaks steps.

Then he catches your eye.

His eyes disappear as he smiles and you can’t help but do the same. You fight off the urge to wave, wanting him to get back to what he’s doing knowing full well they have limited time to go over everything before resting for the evening. You can’t take your eyes off him though. Preparations for concerts usually take him away from you for weeks at a time, and with the scale of this one, you hadn’t seen each other in the flesh for a month.

Just seeing him in front of you now already makes you feel sated.

“Can we do another run of the new song with the pair choreo. We just want to see which works better,” the director calls from the tech booth.

“Nari-ssi, please come up. Everyone else, take 5,” the choreographer on stage with them calls into her mic.

Soonyoung had mentioned he was debuting a new song at the concert. It was something he and Jihoon had worked on last minute that he couldn’t stop talking about, wanting to drop hints but also saying he wanted it to be a surprise for when you would see it at the show. He had dropped the topic dead a few weeks ago.

Nari bounds up the stage with a glorious spring in her step, bare faced but glowing. Her practice clothes fit her like a glove and her overall vibe gives off the energy that she herself was an idol.

That ugly feeling starts to simmer in your stomach as what you suppose is the song starts to play. The intro is slow and sultry and the sweat in your palms starts to grow uncomfortable. Only an idiot wouldn’t understand the sensuality of this song from the get go.

The love of your life is standing right there but you can’t take your eyes off of Nari as she finds her blocking before the verse starts. Nari smiles at Soonyoung and makes a comment you can’t hear from your seat. You feel sick.

Soonyoung and Nari are facing each other with one of his hands on her chin, lifting her gaze to him. His other hand is resting on her slender hip and in a three count from their choreographer, they move in unison.

“Three, four, five, ‘oh baby, cause I’ da, da da!”

The MR only covers the backing vocals but still you know that’s Soonyoung’s crooning and matched with the way his and Nari’s hands and bodies move, you’re transfixed. Horribly.

You avert your eyes, unable to focus and try to play it off as replying to an urgent message, but you’re startled when you hear a loud “SOONYOUNG FOCUS!”

Your head flies up to find Soonyoung staring you down from the stage, eyebrows furrowed and looking, dare you say, nervous.

“We need to see how this is actually going to look like tomorrow, so please let’s put more effort into this. Poor Nari’s giving it her all, Nyoung-ah.”

Soonyoung tries to communicate with you wordlessly but your unwillingness to keep eye contact makes it difficult for Soonyoung to get whatever it is across.

The music plays back again and they return to their starting positions and you know he’s turned it On.

The look on his face, the focus in his eyes. This is what he looks like when he’s locked in, and when his body starts to move, everything falls away.

But Nari.

They move seamlessly, sensually, and just Right. She matches every beat, wave, and touch he gives her. And gives back that same sultry energy with a flick of her wrist, dip of her hip, and when she leans her head back on his shoulder, allowing him to move her body to the music.

You could never move like that. You could never fit in his arms like that.

The song ends and the dancers around them hoot and jeer and Nari blushes as she and Soonyoung finally break their grazes, breathless.

They would never cheer for you like that.

This has never gotten to you this badly. Usually, the distance between the two of you allows you to compose yourself when things get muddled in your head, able to piece yourself together when the fear and insecurity claw up your throat. But your usual proximity is nonexistent and the gap has been closed.

Being with an internationally acclaimed artist meant busy schedules and only being able to squeeze in the littlest dates every now and then. You had time to prepare for those, give yourself the pep talk of It’s been three years. If he wanted you gone, he’d have said something by now.

In preparation for the show you two had made prior plans you would stay with him, an impromptu long weekend “getaway” you had put in at work almost 3 months ago. But now it feels like you’re trapped. You’ve been short with him since his rehearsals wrapped and you’d met up with him in his private dressing room. You could only stomach to say surface level good jobs and you’re always so amazing!

There’s no way he hasn’t picked up on it yet because the air in the car was nonexistent. It was stifling and you could feel the waves of anger simmering underneath Soonyoung’s skin, just waiting to burst forth the moment the two of you were alone.

He knew something was wrong. He always knew.

The ride up the elevator to his unit felt like the longest and shortest elevator ride of both of your lives and the second Soonyoung had let you into his place and locked the door behind him, you wanted to cry.

“Can we finally talk about this?” He starts.

“What?”

“Babe.”

“Soonyoung.”

“Are we really doing this?” He sighs, exasperated.

You feel bad. But the sadness is gnawing at your head and heart and neither are working correctly.

“We’re not ‘doing’ anything, Soonyoung.” You say as you toe off your shoes and put down your bag before facing him.

And what a glorious face it is. He’s always been the most handsome man you’ve ever seen. He looks best like this, you think. Soft and free of makeup and tired and home.

“I’m sorry,” you start, face beginning to crumple and the sting of hot fresh tears threaten to spill.

“No, no, no, baby. Come on, come here,” Soonyoung’s scrambling to pull you into his arms, “Hey, hey, shhh. Look at me, talk to me.”

He pulls her face into his hands and tries to lift her gaze towards him. But she fights and tries to keep her head down.

“Baby, you have to talk to me, okay? You have to talk to me and tell me what I did wrong, hmm?” He respects your refusal to look at him and instead hugs your head to his chest, resting his chin atop the crown of your head.

Soonyoung wraps his other hand around your shoulders and maneuvers the two of you to lay on the couch, You’re still sobbing, large tears falling from your eyes and dampening the shirt he’s wearing.

When he moves to lay down on one of your favorite spots to cuddle in his home, you freeze in his arms, sobs stopping and shoulders going rigid. You push yourself off of him, hands going up to brush the tears off the face.

“No, no, I’m too heavy, I'll crush you.” It is almost business-like how you snap back into this cold tone.

Soonyoung stops, sits up straight, “What are you talking about?”

You groan, “Soonyoung, I don’t want to get into it. Please, you’ve had a long day, tomorrow is going to be—“

“No,” he cuts you off, “We don’t get to talk about tomorrow until we talk about today. Until we talk about what’s going on right now.”

“Soonyoung—I just. I don’t know how to talk about this. I’m just blowing things out of proportion. It’s nothing, I swea—“

“It isn’t nothing, though, is it?” He says, softer now. He reaches up for your hand, “You’re upset. You’ve been upset since I saw you after rehearsals. We have to talk about this, baby. We promised each other we’d talk things through.”

Your eyes sting again, a fresh batch of tears ready and threatening to make their appearance. That sharp feeling in your nose is there, any second now.

“Tell me how I can make it better, baby.”

The dam breaks and you fall boneless into Soonyoung’s embrace. You straddle his lap and wraps your arms around him, pressing the two of you chest to chest.

You bury you face in Soonyoung’s neck and let out a shuddering sob.

“I’m sorry, I’m being so, so immature and so unreasonable. You didn’t do anything,” you say, still slightly unintelligible from the tears.

“You’ve never done anything that’s made me sad or angry, Soonyoung. It’s me, it’s me and my stupid brain.”

“Hey, hey, no. Please please don’t say that, hmm? Let’s work this out together,” Soonyoung coos.

“I-i-i just felt so horrible, Soonyoung!” You finally cry, “She looked so beautiful and perfect and just so RIGHT in your arms and God, the way you two moved and how everyone watched the two of you.”

Soonyoung pulls away, grasping you face in his hands and finally locking eyes with you.

“I know I said I’m okay keeping this a secret and keeping everything simple and under wraps, and it’s fine! I promise, it really isn’t that.”

“Then what is it, baby?”

You’re quiet for a bit as Soonyoung traces the path of your tears with his thumbs, wiping them away.

“I’ll never be able to do what she can. Nari. I’ll never look like her or act like her or move like her. I can’t even dance with you without looking like a fool.”

Soonyoung feels his heart sink. His own eyes start to grow bleary and when he blinks a tear falls to his cheek. He drops his head to your chest and breathes you in.

“I’m sorry—“

“Oh no, Soonyoung it isn’t yo—“

“I’m sorry that things have gotten this far that you’ve grown to feel that way. I’m sorry because I know in some way or form all of this has become that and I didn’t catch it.”

When he lifts his head, tear tracks mark his pretty face and his nose is red.

“But you have to know,” he starts, eyes very serious, and not daring to look away from you, “You have to know that you are everything. You are everything to me. You’re even more than that.”

“And we are going to dance. Oh we are going to dance all the time. I am going to dance with you in the kitchen when we’re waiting for focaccia to bake, we are going to dance in the bedroom when we change the sheets, and we are going to dance when I marry you. And everyone will have their eyes on you and they will clap and cheer because just look at the woman I love.”

“Soonyoung—“

He stands with a start and you instinctively wrap your arms around him, elbows hooking over his shoulders. His hands are under your thighs, fingers pressing into the soft flesh. He’s carrying you into his room.

The lights automatically flicker on as he enters and kicks the door closed behind you, “In fact, baby, why don’t we start now hmm?”

“What, start what?”

He grins and any semblance of sadness has vanished from his face. He smiles and something in your heart is elated.

“Dancing, of course.”

Soonyoung is known in the industry as an ace — able to sing, rap, compose, choreograph, and above all things, dance. And dance with you he does.

The way he can make your body move is unexplainable because once he placed you at the center of his bed, he’d strummed at your body, mouthed at your pulse and had gotten you out of your top and jeans before you could even fully comprehend.

His mouth is hot on yours and he breathes in your air as soon as you exhale and you’re growing lightheaded as his hands continue to undress you. In an attempt to get some air in both your lungs, he pulls away to frantically tear his shirt over his head, not daring to take his eyes off you. He flings it over his shoulder unceremoniously, not a care in the world where it lands and makes quick work of his sweatpants.

“What, you thought you’d get lucky tonight?” You quip at him, “Even when you knew I was feeling tilted?

He’d gone commando.

“Good mood, bad mood, whatever the fuck mood, I want you,” he laughs as dives back in to kiss you.

His hands are everywhere, like he doesn’t know what and where to touch, wanting to feel you everywhere before settling on the thickness of your thighs. He spreads your legs slightly so he could slot himself in between them, cock pressed perfectly to your center.

And then he grinds. The head of his cock nudges perfectly at your clothed clit and you let out a mewl.

“There you go, let me hear you,” he groans into your ear, “Y’sound so good for me, sweetheart.”

“Soonyoooouung,” you can’t control the drawn out moan of his name. After everything you’re pent up and everything feels too much already.

He lets his mouth trail wet, open mouthed kisses from your jaw to your neck as his hands busy themselves undoing the hook of your bra. He scrambles to get it off of you and immediately pulls one nipple in his mouth, nipping and soothing it with a slow lave of his tongue.

He grips your other breast in his palm and squeezes, biting his lip at how your flesh molds to his touch.

“Fuck your tits are fucking perfect.”

This man was groping and grinding against you, and you blush as he compliments your breasts.

He continues kissing down the valley between your breasts and you hold your breath as he starts pressing his lips onto your stomach. It dips and springs back as he moves and your eyes zero in on the deeper colored lines of your stretch marks. There are more on your thighs to match.

But he makes no comment.

He instead groans whenever he stops to suck a bruise and to run his tongue over the mark he’s made.

“You’re so,” he starts, almost breathless, “You’re everything.” He laughs at his own inarticulate thoughts before hooking his thumbs into the elastic of your underwear.

He pulls them off and moves back up to press a deep kiss to your mouth, “I want to make you come three times, love.”

“What?” You’re dazed.

His right hand moves down to trace your ass and hook under your knee so he can spread you open.

“First, I’m going to fuck you open on my fingers,” he breathes, “then when you’re nice and wet and open for me, I want you to sit on my face, alright?”

With all his talk distracting you, you’re suddenly startled when you feel his thumb on your lower lips, starting to spread you apart.

“Then when you’ve come all over my face, I’m going to fuck my come into you, just how you like it. Right, baby?”

He slips in two fingers into you with no warning and you keen, high and wanton and uncontrollable.

Soonyoung is rough and quick when he fingers you and no matter how slow and sensual the lovemaking is, this will always be fast, hard, and messy.

While one hand is busy pumping two fingers into you, the other pinches your clit and quickly rubs, wanting your first orgasm to come as quickly as possible.

Your lower lip is close to bleeding as you try to keep your voice down but Soonyoung only chuckles when he sees your attempts at restraint.

“Baby we’re soundproofed in here. Make all the noise you want.”

You want to slap at his chest playfully at least, get him to feel some semblance of shame, but just as you try to make some quick remark, his fingers brush that spot inside of you and he presses down hard.

You’re unable to hold in the scream that rips through your throat as his arm flexes and he roughly thrusts his fingers in and out of you.

You clench your eyes shut as you finally let him have your first release. It’s almost explosive and you spill messily all over his fingers and arm, his other hand making a bigger mess, spraying drops of your release letting them fly further.

Breathing comes hard but he’s already pulling out of you and moving your body around until you’re on your knees.

Soonyoung lays on his back and tugs at your hands to grip at his headboard, “Fuck I’ve wanted this for so long.”

“Soonyoung, what if—“

“If you want to stop, we’ll stop. Just say the word,” he says, propping himself up with his elbow.

“You have to do the same,” you say shakily, still trying to get your bearings after the mind blowing first orgasm.

“Unlikely, but you know I’ll tell you everything, love.”

And just like that he lays back again, looking more eager than you could have ever imagined. You kneel over his chest and slowly inch upwards before lowering yourself over his mouth.

Soonyoung’s always loved eating you out. He loves when sex is wet and messy and loud. He loves the taste of you and making so much noise while he’s pressed up against your pussy it almost seems like he’s the one getting release.

Every flex and curl of his tongue has you whimpering and you can’t help the way you throw your head back as his nose nudges at your clit, still sensitive from your first orgasm.

He coaxes this second one slower but it hits you just as strongly as he continues to mouth at your core even when you’re crying and shaking from the sensitivity. You almost topple off the bed as you climb off Soonyoung to lay back next to him on the bed.

You turn your head to Soonyoung and the entirety of his lower face is wet with your release and your face burns. But Soonyoung is aglow with arousal and just so much love.

He coaxes your mouth to meet his own and it is a reprieve from how quickly he moved for you to reach your high twice in such a short period of time.

You can taste yourself on his mouth but it makes you groan as his tongue pushes its way to mingle with your own.

Despite the desperation at which you both moved, this is slow and quiet. Just you lips moving against each other and the sheets rustling fills the space.

Soonyoung pushes himself off the bed cautiously, desperate to keep his lips on you as he positions himself between your thighs.

Just like that a switch flips and the urgency to have him starts once more. He pressed his cock against your entrance and let the underside slide against your wet cunt. It offers you little relief, the friction hardly enough to get you there.

He pulls away and brings one hand to your face as the other holds him over your body.

Soonyoung’s hooded lids and glazed eyes are a sight to behold. His hair is damp and the shorter strands that frame his face are plastered onto his forehead. There’s a bead of sweat that’s clinging to the cut of his jaw and you ache to press your mouth to it.

His thumb traces the curve of your cheek, the plumpness of your lower lip, and slowly he’s pressing the finger between your teeth. You press your tongue against the pad of his thumb and wrap your lips around the finger, and suck.

God, I love this man. I will always only love this man.

“I love you,” he gasps as he finally presses in and sinks into you.

Any other day and it would be embarrassing how close you both are to the edge, but you both know that his evening was far from normal. Your heart is hammering in your chest so hard you feel like it’ll rip itself out of its confines. Everything feels too good and too much and you want it. You want this every single day if you could.

Soonyoung sits up and uses both hands to grip onto your hips and to brace himself. What he does next makes your head spin.

“I’m so close, baby. You gotta say it.” He stands on his knees, changing the angle slightly. Then he lifts your hips just right and the noise you let out as his cock sinks into you perfectly is completely pitiful.

“Say it.”

“Soonyoung!” you cry out. It’s a sob, really. Depraved, almost, in the desperation and the raw fucking feeling thats burning through your nerves.

“Just say it baby, you know the words. Say it and I’ll make good on the very last fucking promise I made tonight,” he says, the edge in his voice making itself known. He wanted to make this evening soft, slow, and for every movement to have meaning. But he has always been hungry.

Hungry for the stage, bigger venues, brighter lights, more challenging steps, and of course for you.

He breathes in through his nose sharply and tries to exhale slowly and paced, “Just say it baby, I know you can.”

“You’re mine.”

“That’s it. I’m yours. I’ll always be yours.”

The years of precise practice and this industry expertise has made the man you love into the most exquisite lover.

He thrusts quick and deep and the undulations of his hips have you seeing stars and tearing up once more. He’s everywhere, in your eyes, head, lungs, heart and you’ll be damned if you ever let him go.

The insecurities and the problems and the people will always be there, they will always cause uncertainties but this is one thing you will always be sure of. You will always be sure of him.

Soonyoung comes with a cry of your name and the most beautiful gasp against your mouth as he pumps you full of his cum, pushing you over the edge and he swallows the cry you let out.

He pulls away to press breathless kisses against your face and any other part of you he can get his lips on mumbling, “I’m yours, I’m yours. I’ll always only be yours.”

It starts slowly, warm, and comfortable. The rustling of the sheets and the hot wet press of his mouth slowly coaxing you into that soft space of barely awake, but able to slip back to sleep if you stayed quiet enough.

“I gotta go, baby,” is Soonyoung’s whisper, cheek resting atop your head.

You hum in response, not fully coherent to put together words after he’d pulled endless strings of moans and cries from your lips the night prior.

He presses a kiss to your hair, “Didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye. I’ll see you tonight, gorgeous.”

You feel the way the bed dips and the blankets move as he goes to stand. He slips on his shoes and, unable to leave so easily, moves back towards the bed and kneels by where your head rests on a pillow.

“I love you, think about what I said last night, okay?”

You tried to keep yourself collected, keep the frantic energy sizzling in your veins at bay. Soonyoung had put on the show of his life, something that happens just a few times in a performer’s life, you’re sure. Pride had swelled so grandly in your heart. You had been so lovestruck watching him that it felt like he could see you whenever he had turned his head in your general direction.

Backstage is still abuzz from the end of the show. You’re sure people are still running around making sure the egress goes smoothly, that all the fans are able to exit the stadium safely. But everything comes second the moment you hear his voice.

“Has she been escorted from her se—“

You can’t help it. You’re so happy, so excited, and so in love with him. You’re running toward him. He’s changed out of his encore outfit and into a sweater—oversized the way he likes them— and sweatpants. He could slip into bed any second now it looks like.

“Soonyoung!” You call out, stealing his attention.

He turns to you and the most breathtaking smile spreads on his face and you throw yourself into his arms. He catches you and you wrap your legs around his slender waist.

“It was amazing, you’re so amazing. Congratulations, oh my god!” You’re blabbing, you can feel your mouth going a million miles an hour but you can’t stop.

You pull him into a crushing hug as he gently puts your feet back on the ground, keeping your arms around his neck.

“And that new song, Jesus you weren’t kidding, it’s so good and the choreo! The way you moved! You changed the choreo last minu—“ In a split second, his lips are on yours and you can’t help but smile against him.

You break away, breathless when you remember, “Soonyoung, everyone can see.”

He gives you a silly quizzical look, “Only thinking about that now and not when you jumped into my arms?”

You’re speechless. He’s right.

“I’d be happy if everyone knew,” Soonyoung says simply and pulls you in again for another kiss.

When you pull away, you suck in a large breath and say, “Okay.”

There’s a small smile that he can’t hide as he asks, “Okay…? To what, exactly?”

You blush and bury your head in his chest. You want to while, he’s so annoying.

“To everything. To everything you said last night,” you mumble into his chest, trying to muster enough confidence to keep going.

“Okay, I’ll move in with you. Okay, I’ll tell all my friends about you. Okay, let’s make us public.”

-`✮´- if you've come this far, thank you. if you’d like to drop a like or reblog this, it would mean the world to this new author!

#frizzy fiction #hoshi x reader #hoshi smut #hoshi smau #hoshi imagines #soonyoung x reader #soonyoung scenarios #soonyoung smut #soonyoung imagines #seventeen imagines #seventeen x reader #seventeen smut #seventeen scenarios

437 notes · View notes

imaginesig · 4 months ago

Text

"He laughs at all my jokes / and he says I'm so American"

Zak O'Sullivan x driver!reader

SMAU

Logans grid kid might be more patriotic than him. Reader is an American menace to the f2 grid, her bf included, who uses Oliva Rodrigo to cope (and Kimi has been demoted to f3 and Olivias release schedule for Guts is wrong). Based on this prema video

there is a criminally low amount of fics about this man

ynln

liked by zak.osullivan, kimi.antonelli, olliebearman, and 892,293 others

ynln totally sleighed it

tagged sister_username

dinobeganovic girl you slayed that house

ynln SLAY 💅

dinobeganovic slay 😵🔪

ynln oh

olliebearman mate what is that third picture? The dirt??

ynln chief I live in the southern US we dont get snow here

olliebearman what a sad winter

sister_username we ate the first pic up

ynln its a christmas miracle, my sister being the only one who's nice to me

zak.osullivan cant wait for you to see a REAL winter wonderland

ynln id take my dirt covered ground over your royal snow anyway ��🇺🇸

zak.osullivan says the girl who flys out the 28th

user1 "were you silent or silenced" @/ynln

ynln gagged to silence ✋😔

ynln posted 2 stories!

caption: (1) thoughts and prayers as I head into enemy territory (2) 🇺🇸→🇬🇧

replies

zak.osullivan

oh fuck off

haha

I can hear your gremlin cackle from here

heyyyy you're supposed to love me

I do

I love you and all your gremlin traits

im blocking you and visiting Harry Styles instead

like he would take you in

rude

anyway please call me when you land, I'll be waiting to pick you up anyway

but just in case

ofc baby

get some rest

I love you ❤️

I love you too❤️

ynln

liked by user4, prema_team, olliebearman, and 891,923 others

ynln theres snow-where better than this

tagged zak.osullivan

Logansargent beer in the snow 10/10

Ynln thank you thank you

Olliebearman “I’d take my dirt covered ground over your Royal snow any day” you sure girlie??

Zak.osullivan she’s been swayed

ynln I’m just a girl

Zak.osullivan my snow angel ❤️❤️

ynln ily 🤭🤭

Kimi.antonelli snow angels?? Are you 5

Zak.osullivan our entire yard was filled by her alone

Ynln excuse me, I’m enjoying my youth and I will grow into a happy adult with no regrets

sister_username nice to see you’re having fun without me

Ynln get a hot European bf then we’ll talk

user1 stop I love this

user2 if Y/nZak has no fans I’m dead

zak.osullivan

liked by Ynln, user43, user32, and 828,992 others

zak.osullivan "I want your midnights"

tagged: ynln

artgp_offical new year, new us!!

ynln "but ill be cleaning up bottles with you on New Years Day" ❤️

Zak.osullivan ❤️

Ynln HOT DAYUM

ynln boy do i know how to take a photo 🥵

Ynln I can cook and clean

zak.osullivan no you can’t

Ynln I can bark

Zak.osullivan please don’t I believe you

user1 Y/n is a prime example of the duality of man

user2 she said what were all thinking

user3 this is so Y/n coded

user4 oh he def had help with this post

user5 thank you Y/n for the middle pic

ynln posted 2 stories!

caption: (1) 🎶 New Years Day by Taylor Swift (2) New year, minimal headache

Replies

Zak.osullivan

Well hello

Didn’t expect to see my abs and underwear on your public story but here we are

let me show the people what they lost

How about you celebrate that win instead of dm-ing while laying next to me

sister_username

now I have to bleach my eyes

what better way to start the new year than with new vision

could've still done without your bf's stomach but ok

you'll live 😘😘

ynln

liked by user1, paularon_, user43, and 918,929 others

ynln shes back and ready to show these Europeans how its done

tagged no one

user1 QUEEN 🇺🇸🦅💪

Ynln “salute to me I’m your American queen” T.S

Kimi.antonelli nope

Olliebeaman absolutely not

Zak.osullivan keep dreaming babe

paularon_ id rather die

dinobeganovic I’ll crash myself into the barriers instead thank you

user1 ummm hello???? I didn’t mean to assemble the avengers💀

logansargent f2 grid menace is back 👏👏👏

Ynln gotta show them a good ole ‘merican time

user2 making that smoothie recipe rn

User3 omg update me on how it is!!

zak.osullivan posted a story!

caption: I was bamboozled into matching

Replies

dinobeganovic

“Bamboozled” sure

Stfu 🙄

Ynln

I can’t believe you put up with it

rest assured I’ll be checking what’s under your sweatshirt from now on

Oh😏

I’m blocking you

f2_updates

liked by user3, user8, user32, and 819,929 others

f2_updates: Y/n L/n has won the first grand prix of the season!! Did you enjoy her victory radio as much as we did??

Tagged: no one

User1 PLEASE SHES SO PAINFULLY AMERICAN

user2 never a doubt she’s Logan’s grid kid

user3 at this point I think dating a Brit just eggs her on

User4 not the tik tok audio 💀💀

user5 her engineer is so done with her

ynln

liked by paularon_, ollliebearman, user82, and 918,929 others

ynln first race back and WE GOT THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER PLAYING! Lets see if we can keep it going 🇺🇸🦅🎆

tagged prema_team

Prema_team perfect season start 🤩🤩

Logansargent OH SAY CAN YOU SEE

Ynln BY THE DAWN’S EARLY LIGHT

Logansargent you were great! Definitely a race to be proud of

Ynln thank you Lo!!!

Zak.Sullivan I’m proud of you love

Ynln ❤️❤️

user1 what is that last photo 💀

Ynln me dramatically blaring Dolly Parton

Time skip-- a few races

zak.osullivan

liked by ynln, artgp_offical, user3, and 918,929 others

zak.osullivan MONACOOO COME ON 🏆🏆🏆

tagged artgp_offical

Ynln YESSSS SIR

olliebeaman you’ve never sounded more American

Dinobeganovic put this girl in a frat

Logansargent I have to agree…

ynln my own grid dad betrayed me

Ynln THATS HOW WE DO IT

ynln 15 to first??? YOU MAD MAN

Williamsracing we agree 👏👏

User1 get this man in f1

User2 id love to see it

ynln I LOVE YOU❤️❤️❤️❤️

Zak.osullivan I LOVE YOU TOO ❤️❤️❤️❤️

olliebearman congrats man!

dinobeganovic impressive race

paularon_ it was nice to share a podium

Logansargent calm down before you take my seat

ynln

liked by sister_username, prema_team, user8, and 918,927 others

ynln MCDREAMY oops I mean ZAK GOT P1 IN MONACO!!!! I AM SO SO PROUD OF YOU!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH (oh and I got p4 yadda yadda…)

tagged: zak.osullivan, prema_team

Zak.osullivan even in my time of victory I lose to Shepard 😔😔

ynln someone had to keep me entertained while I waited for all your media to be done 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

Zak.osullivan thank you for all your support!! You raced a wondeful race, congrats on p4

Ynln I love you (but your race was better no need for a pitty congrats)

sister_username congrats Zak!! The Y/n family was cheering you on

ynln this L/n was also cheering you on!!

user2 I love that Y/n and her family were pulling for Zak more than Y/n 💀

user1 ugh we love a supportive gf

User2 God its me again🙏🙏

User3 when is it my turn

ynln

liked by Oliviarodrigo, liakblock, elvirahallqvist, and 918,928 others

ynln Happy Guts release to those who celebrate! "All American Bitch" will be my personality from this moment forward

tagged: lettiemng, elvirahallqvist, hamdaalqubaisi_offical, liakblock

olivarodrigo wrote it just for you 🫶💜💜

ynln screaming crying throwing up I love you so much

olivarodrigo i literally love you!! My fav driver

user1 girlie just barley made the teenage cut

ynln 19 is still a teen ☝️🤓

paularon_ as if you needed any more reason to be more American

user2 omg this was a group I didn’t know I needed

user4 it seems so random but I love

user3 please give us content🙏🙏🙏

ynln

liked by Zak.osullivan, user1, user3, and 918,829 others

ynln traveling the world with my world 🇪🇸

tagged Zak.osullivan

Olliebearman boo 🍅🍅🍅

Kimi.antonelli 🧀🧀🧀

ynln i can never win with yall

Olliebearman yall 🤠🤠

ynln get out of my comment section

Zak.osullivan I love you

ynln are you sure?? You said no to taking the cat

user1 “my world” I’m crying

user2 as much as i love American menace Y/n i LOVE soft y/n

user3 omg did you name the cat??

ynln ummmm of course, it’s Brick

user3 idk what i expected

zak.osullivan

liked ynln, dinobeganovic, user43, and 918,892 others

zak.osullivan adventure buddies for life 🤝🤝

tagged ynln

ynln deal 🤝

user1 i love that they both posted a solo pic of the other

user5 top tier photography on both ends

user2 the middle pic 😭😭😭

user4 oh to be looked at the way either of them look at the other

user3 those olives looks good as hell

ynln posted 2 stories!

Captions: (1) for the record I am NOT happy to be in Silverstone on 4th of July weekend (2) OLIVA YOU HAVE TURNED MY WEEK AROUND

replies

olliebearman

oh no

oh yes

and I thought the 4th was proper punishment for all your terrorizing

queen liv said no💜✨

call it good karma

GOOD KARMA FROM WHAT??

Elvirahallqvrst

im so excited

Me too!! I'm sad we won't get a listening party again

same 😭

hamdaalqubaisi_offical

my pre-race playlist just keeps getting better ��

fr!!

zak.osullivan

liked by ynln, prema_teams, user4, and 923,029

zak.osullivan best way to end a home race?? his and hers 1-2

tagged: artgp_offical, ynln, prema_team

artgp_offical we agree!!

prema_team couldn't have said it better ourselves

olliebearman id rank that at bloody brilliant 👏🍾

user1 y'all live for a Ferrari 1-2, I live for a ZakY/n 1-2

user2 the "his and hers" has me crying

user3 strong race!! I hope you plenty of family and friends cheering you one

ynln what a race!! I was so nervous you'd overtake me in those last laps

zak.osullivan believe me I tried, if you weren't so damn good at defense

ynln 🤭😘

user4 I know she was just messing around for practice but Y/n looks so good in that blue suit

user5 the best part was she wore that to celebrate Zak's home gp

user4 stop thats so cute

user6 I agree she looks beautiful

user7 prema retire the red rn

ynln

liked by olliebearman, user54, liakblock, and 928,924 others

ynln what better way to celebrate 4th of July than forcing the US national anthem to be played (I love you Zak and im so proud but Brits gotta know their place)

tagged: zak.osullivan, prema_team, artgp_offical

user1 I still cant believe she wore that sweatshirt around Silverstone

user2 see I want to be surprised but honestly im not

logansargent ultimate checkmake! You've made me proud kid

ynln ss this and hang it in the Louve 🥹

zak.osullivan you are incredible!! I'm proud to call you mine

ynln even when you lose

zak.osullivan fuck that im blocking you

olliebearman I despise everything you do

ynln screw me then for getting team points (and congratulating you on p3)

olliebearman the boys dont fw americans

ynln one of your boys fucks an american

olliebearman OK NOW WHERE DID THE PR TRAINING GO???

ynln posted a story!

caption: My new national anthem has dropped!! 🎶 So American by Oliva Rodrigo

replies

zak.osullivan

did we finally find our song??

I think we did babe

dinobeganovic

am I gonna have to see you and Zak be all gushy to this song

🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

liakblock

its been on repeat

oh my spotify wrapped is messed up

zak.osullivan

liked by ynln, zak.osullivan, user43, and 923,923 others

zak.osullivan you're just so American

tagged: ynln

ynln screaming crying throwing up

ynln I didnt even ask you to do this

ynln I love you so much

zak.osullivan I love you (and your entire range of emotions)

olliebearman mission success?

zak.osullivan mission success.

ynln wot

user1 the Olivia quote???

user2 I think she knew deep down it was never her and Louis's song

user3 omg imagine Y/n and Zak dancing with Louis at an Oliva concert

user4 Y/n would die happy

ynln

liked by sister_username, user4, user1, and 928,382 others

ynln "he's like a poem I wish I wrote"

tagged: zak.osullivan

user1 omg the 1D phone booth

Ynln I had to make my pilgrimage

Olliebearman glad to see you’re embracing real culture

Ynln a drink cup full of canes sauce IS real culture

user2 stfu I wasn’t prepared to a domestic ass today but where we are

user3 might sleep in traffic fr fr

sister_username if y'all dont get married I will kms

user4 same girl

user5 we got a L/n on our side

ynln oh hello to you too

zak.osullivan no pressure ig

#f1 imagines #f1 #f2 #formula 2 #f2 x reader #formula 2 imagine #formula 2 x reader #formula 2 smau #zak o'sullivan x reader #zak o'sullivan #zak o'sullivan smau #zak o'sullivan fic #zak o'sullivan imagine #zak o'sullivan fluff

127 notes · View notes

agoldenblackbird · 17 days ago

Text

i'm gonna be a ranty bitch for a minute.

tbh i'm turned off even reading new buddie fic despite being a multishipper and have unfollowed a bunch of buddie accounts because i'm sick of the smug attitudes. one ask that i am otherwise not going to publish or respond to ended with 'sorry you don't understand media literacy bestie :)' fuck off. listen INFANT, i have been writing fanfic and original fic AND watching, reading and analyzing queer media since before you were born, i understand how character and story development works, and i know the difference between 'storyline i personally disliked' and 'bad writing.' this was BOTH, and it also was marketed to us as 'carefully crafted bi rep' and 'queer love story that is not about a bunch of pain and conflict FOR ONCE' so we have every right to be upset at the bait-and-switch.

the fact that i'm seeing the same exact posts - 'bt bones buddie CANON' that i saw three seasons ago after the bucktaylor breakup, or every time they thought buck and taylor MIGHT break up - says something. the fact that so many fans seem genuinely convinced (STILL!) that buddie is inevitable because there have been so many 'signs,' and then they rattle off a convoluted theory that would make the most hardcore taylor swift stan say 'wow, that's a bit of a reach,' honestly weirded me out a little when i first joined the 911 fandom. i have never been in a fandom where so many fans are insistent that their ship will be - not might be or could be, but WILL be - canon. i am skeptical both from past experience with other shows mishandling queer storylines or ship-baiting, and tim minnear's proven track record with this one of not really knowing what to do with buck's LI's. but i didn't want to yuck anybody's yum, so i let them have their theories and squee in peace, and unfollowed or blocked certain tags if i was seeing too much of it and getting annoyed. it's too out there for me, but i'm glad they're having fun!

yet they can't give us the same courtesy. they deride us as delusional for thinking that a canon pairing that was presented to us both in promo and the show itself as different and important (eg the bobby approval convo and 'buck getting off the hamster wheel') might last, and we're stupid to have ever liked tommy or lou or be disappointed at how the breakup was written, and if we point out the biphobia it's just sour grapes.

the bucktommy breakup is not the first time 911 has started out strong with an interesting storyline and fumbled it in the 4th quarter either because the writers got bored or in the name of needless drama/a 'gotcha' sudden twist. amir & bobby, eddie's fight club arc, the sperm donor SL, hen vs councilwoman ortiz, whatever the hell is going on with harry, the whole mess with shannon/kim, just to name a few. and especially the past couple of seasons, for me since 6b, the pacing has been off. they seem to have too much happening at once and many of the storylines don't have enough room to breathe to be narratively satisfying, or they get resolved in ways that feel lackluster.

if the toxic buddie stans who have been attacking lou on sm and sending death threats (wtf!) actually get what they want, which i admit is possible, but it's certainly not guaranteed….i don't know why they think the writers won't fumble that just as badly. it's not going to happen precisely the way they want it to because it is impossible to please everybody, that's what fanfic is for. but at this point i have zero faith that it would even be well done at all, and zero trust in the writers not to just sabotage or regress a character for funsies, and that's an excellent reason to stop watching the show. in most of my other fandoms i regard canon as a jumping-off point or a blurry outline at best, and i can have just as much fun in the 911 sandbox without any further input from canon at all, once i'm less angry.

#911 #911 8x06 #tevan #bucktommy #birdie rants #birdie stuff

72 notes · View notes

reyesranch · 5 months ago

Note

I feel like atp even if there were plans to make bvddie canon theyre gone now. if tim minear is even half as petty as I am he would see that reaction and go u know what fuck you u actually don't get what you want now cause ur acting so goddamn entitled. like when tarlos fans got mad about the deleted scenes instead of appreciating them being released and his reaction was to say "okay fine then I just won't release deleted scenes anymore" (like I'm sure it was mostly a marketing decision but part of me thinks they intentionally released a scene about bucktommy just to prove a point.) idk man it's just really upsetting as a bi man to see the absolutely vile shit bvddie stans are saying and even tho I love the ship I now never want it to go canon cause they've fuckin ruined it

hey anon, at first let me agree with the fact that i do in fact also love bvddie a lot and i still love reading fics for them, the edits of them are fantastic and the fanart is S tier. it’s a great pairing with a lot of potential there IF the writers decided to ever go there but…

huge answer below

yeah, i agree. i honestly think before tommy was introduced again in 7x03 and the kiss in 7x04 that in my brain, bvddie was the most logical endgame for buck until it wasn’t.

i came into the show shipping bvddie much like a lot of new fans to the show but instead of hopping onto the tommy anti express hate train i found myself falling in love with buck and tommy together. at first i was still on board with bvddie still being endgame but as each episode aired after 7x04 i became faced with the reality of the situation (at least the way i see it) that bvddie might always be fanon and that’s ok because fandom keeps ships alive whether they’re canon or not. some of the biggest ships EVER are non-canon (i mean, cmon spirk? one of the OG MM ships?) so it didn’t really deter me from enjoying bvddie to this day. what HAS deterred me from interacting with bvddie content is toxic bvddies. i don’t like using the lil nicknames, idc if other ppl do, whatever, but i prefer just referring to certain kinds as just toxic plain and simple.

toxic shippers have made it difficult for anyone who multiships to interact with bvddie content. while there are incredibly nice & welcoming bvddie endgamers out there, it doesn’t overshadow the hateful ones in my online experience at least. i’ve blocked so many ppl over this ship discourse, which ive never had to do with any other fandom before the extent i have with 911. everyday i still find new ppl to block, you go under almost any comment section on the 911 insta and its filled with nasty comments abt tommy and only caring abt whether bvddie will be canon in s8. people projecting their hatred of tommy/lou onto the cast/crew of the show when it’s be said and proven time and time again that it’s quite the opposite. now im certain there’s bad apples in the bucktommy side as well, but from what ive seen online so far it is not nearly to the caliber of the bvddie side. ive blocked maybe a handful of bucktommy’s for being hateful towards eddie or being toxic overall, but ive probably blocked over 100+ toxic bvddies. i can only imagine it’d be worse if i was active on 911 twt which i’m not (thank god) but i have ventured into the tags before on there and let me tell you, it’s fucking horrifying how gross ppl are over there. twt is a cesspool for fandom anyways tho, the fucking asshole of fandom, it’s a septic tank really.

now im my own opinion which could be completely untrue of course, but just basing my thoughts on what i’ve seen online and interviews and such, tim seems to be really happy about bucktommy and idk how ppl believe otherwise. tim has expressed he loves LFJ and wanted him back on the show. tim showed up on set for the kiss scene. tim posting an entire youtube vibe abt bucktommy being soulmates that touches on the invisible string theory and explains how they accidentally found buck’s perfect match. tim sharing the deleted tommy scene is also huge but im waiting to see if he releases more (because i remember seen somewhere that he said there’d be more?) and if he does then great but it’s also still pretty telling to me after the whole karaoke fiasco.

oliver has said nothing but praises towards buck’s queer storyline. he quite literally said if you dont like it then watch something else. despite ppl saying he’s never interacted with bucktommy content online, that’s a lie because he has liked fanart of them.

aisha, kenneth & tracie have all expressed how they like tommy/lou and love working with him.

jlh said she loved bvddie before but is excited to see where buck and tommy go and then on an insta live said she doesn’t think bvddie is happening and was bombarded by toxic fans to the point of ending the live early.

ppl think it’s all some ruse to make it seem like bvddie is never happening so when it does happen it’s a “surprise” ……..

the nasty hate comments are doing nothing but exposing these types of ppl for who they are and that honestly to them, 911 is just the bvddie show to them. the people who run these social media accs for 911 are looking at these comments and cringing, they aren’t running to tim and abc being like “we must give these crazies what they want!” they’re mostly likely being ignored or honestly, as you said, being looked at and just reinforcing their decision to most likely make tommy buck’s endgame so as long as his schedule is open for filming.

what gets me the most about the hate these types of shippers spew online is how they aren’t embarrassed because they are so sooo convinced they will be right one day and therefore their insane, nasty behavior online will be justified. oliver stark literally left twt because of fans like this, people act like he was joking around, that he was shooting the shit probably because “he’s british and british people just have that kind of humor” which yes to a certain extent but let me just add these posts to set an example to why if oliver were still on twt he absolutely would not be happy with the way toxic bvddies are acting right now.

oliver (and ryan&other cast too) being positive abt bvddie never meant it was going to be canon of become canon one day. they do not decide these things, whether they believe it should or not. a lot of bvddie shippers come from previous fandoms where queerbaiting was there, where they were made fun of by actors of their ships, by the creators of the show! so i understand the frustration but oliver is not queerbaiting and buck is not a queerbait character when he quite literally is now confirmed bisexual and in a relationship with a man.

he’s just not the “correct” queer to these people. despite headcanons (hell even i hc eddie as queer!!) eddie so far, in canon, is not queer. by the end s7 he is still shown to not be over shannon and ruins his relationship with his son over this. ryan has stated in interviews he sees eddie as heterosexual, possibly pushing this because of the influx of ship discourse, and he’s glad to see a vulnerable and deep friendship that buck and eddie can have as a straight man and a queer man and how important he thinks it is.

every single thing that points to bvddie never going canon is like they’re being shot point blank in the chest. i get it, your ship not becoming canon sucks, but again, that is what fandom is for! shipping has never been about how canon smth is, there is 20k fics out there for bvddie and they aren’t canon. they can turn that into 40k, 100k, 1M if they really wanted to! instead they use their time and energy posting death threats, wishing death upon a gay character, bullying ppl online for enjoying a ship.

meanwhile from what ive seen bucktommys are rolling with goofy ass spy tommy theories created by antis and making jokes for our own fun.

so yes, i agree overall. they truly don’t deserve what they think they do. we didn’t whine and scream for a deleted scene. they did. we got ours without even expecting it and are having fun.

maybe if they behaved better i wouldn’t be so petty abt it. it’s a shame because of how much potential it has, unfortunately it is just not going that way atm. and even if it does one day, it is not because they paraded online with hate, it is because that’s the story tim and the others wanted to write and abc approved it.

🫳🎤

#bucktommy #911 abc #asks #fandom discourse

124 notes · View notes

antimony-medusa · 1 year ago

Text

Okay this is 100% discourse, so maybe avert your eyes if you don't want to see me wail at the heavens, but for a fandom so anxious about boundaries, we haven't actually been very good in practice at respecting the actual stated boundaries the streamers put down, and I think it shows what we're actually policing, which is not things to make the streamers comfortable, it's stuff to make us comfortable.

This ranges from inventing new boundaries for people (you can't use neopronouns for ranboo, their pronouns are he/they; there's no boundaries on dark content for streamers so obviously we have to invent and enforce dark sbi rules ourselves) and then harassing people based on those boundaries that we just made up, to ignoring the actual things that the streamers said if we don't agree with them (cc!dream said he was uncomfortable with gore art back during the revolutionary war/exile but he's a villain, right, so we can just do whatever we want with the character, right?) and just doing whatever we want.

This is a recurring problem, with people violently policing boundaries that the fandom has all agreed on, to the point of doxxing and harassment and death threats, and ignoring boundaries that they have decided "don't make sense".

Like here's the example I put in the tags earlier, which is Technoblade related. Everyone knows that family dynamic is great and shipping is a no-go, right? But if you actually go looking for the clips, (or listen to streams in the background recursively while you're doing other things), you'll find that what Technoblade said about shipping was that it was "kinda cringe" (I think the list of things he said was cringe included reading percy jackson books and talking like you're better at video games than you actually are), and he was MUCH stronger in saying that he didn't like family dynamic in canon, saying that he didn't like it, that it was non-canon, and he'd never betray his family like that.

But if you look at the entire "found family" tag on Ao3, 19,860 stories, Technoblade is tagged into 29% of them. That's 5,760 fics just blowing right past what Technoblade said. Boom. Taking that character from his political anarchist setting and setting him right down in a royalty au w. younger siblings.

Because obviously a family dynamic isn't actually going to hurt someone's feelings or make them feel weird, the fandom has agreed, so what he must mean was that saying that family dynamic was actual literal canon is the only bad thing (I have been clotheslined by family dynamic written into stuff tagged as "canon compliant" multiple times as well,) and we can continue with the fun family stuff, right? Because someone saying they don't like family dynamic doesn't make Sense, in the way that I like it, the fandom has agreed, so we can just ignore that clip. Honestly I think that a ton of people have no idea that Technoblade ever said anything negative about family dynamic, because that clip is never brought out or talked about. I literally only know about it because I've watched that stream.

Meanwhile, the much less firmly stated boundary when it comes to shipping is absolutely doubled down on and brought out to justify mobbing people off the internet, because everyone already knows that shipping is bad and terrible and tainted and horrible to do and we don't like it, so even the slightest indication that it's out has to be grabbed and used to police people. So that everyone can be very to sure themselves that what they're doing is not weird, and the streamers are okay with it, and if I showed them my fic they'd say they liked it.

They're not going to give the Ok to your fic, because the fic isn't FOR them, and it shouldn't be. It's for the other weird fans who can't stop thinking about the block men characters, it's not for the actors. The actors have their own lives, leave them alone.

To be clear, I am not saying that we should stop writing family dynamic to respect Technoblade's feelings. Among other things, I don't think he's checking his character tag on Ao3 right now. But like, I've talked before about the way that boundaries culture ends up working in practice, and how constantly bringing problems up to streamers just ends up showing them all the things that are the most weird to the streamer. You only have to look at what most of Benchtrio has done in terms of boundaries, which has been transitioning from very explict boundaries with details on everything to just saying "just use your manners," stopping answering questions, and telling people to actually think about what they're showing the streamer instead of expecting someone to weigh in on it for them.

But even when it comes to the boundaries that we do have, that we know about, the way people enforce them seems to be less about actually respecting what the creators like, and more about making sure we're morally pure and never have to see something that we personally don't like, and we don't happen to have any of that nasty boys kissing content in our work, because we all know that's terrible. (And as someone who's seen crackdowns on LGBTQIA content several times, that certainly has unfortunate overtones.)

As long as it's all kept away from the creators, I really think that fluffy cuddly family dynamic and kissing fic and hardcore whump all falls into the category of "not for the creators, they might find that one weird, but you do you". Like keep it away from the streamers, use your brain, but like, it's all a bit weird and for fun. Let it be weird and for fun in a secluded part of the internet, keep it away from the streamers, tag your shit for people who don't want to see it, and go to town.

So just like, I really think that "creator boundaries" should be more about using your brain as to what you show the streamer, and less about harassing someone off the internet cause they drew kissing art.

#discourse #technoblade #dsmpshipping #how's THAT for a rent-lowering shotgun blast #fandom meta

628 notes · View notes

zvtara-was-never-canon · 2 months ago

Note

Sokkla actually saved my life.

In my early 20s, I had left my abusive family to move in with my high school sweetheart. But once we were living together, he showed a side of him I had never seen before.

He became abusive and cruel and began to cheat. And everytime he blamed everything on me and my depression and anxiety (I have PTSD from my childhood). He made it seem like this was the best I was ever going to get because no one would ever want a broken person like me.

Eventually he dumped me and left me with nowhere to go. I had to move back in with my abusive parents and I wanted to kill myself. They agreed with my boyfriend that no one would want me because I came back to them even more traumatized and mentally ill with mean outbursts and constant crying.

I genuinely thought it was over for me. I had always identified with Katara and Zuko the most, so I had shipped Zutara as a teen. But now I could no longer see myself in Katara because she was so strong and kind and everyone loved her.

I felt more like Zuko except a version of him that nobody could love with his scars. I began to see myself more like Azula. Doomed and tragic. The more hate I read about her, the more I searched for it and applied it to myself. Everytime someone called her irredeemable or unloveable, I took those words as a reminder to myself of how the world truly saw me. I guess it was a kind of self harm…

Eventually this became a late night ritual. And it was while doing this one night, sobbing my eyes out, that I clicked on what I thought was another fic about Azula being tortured and hated or punished and executed. But I must’ve misclicked because instead I ended up on a Sokkla fic.

And I don’t know if it was just my emotional state or how late it was, but by the end when Sokka showed her he could still love her, I just broke. I started looking for more Sokkla fics and art. Instead of looking for content punishing and hating Azula so I could harm myself, I started wanting to find stories where she healed and was happy. And Sokkla fics were so good about this without making Azula just a crazy person abuser or erasing all of her problems either.

Eventually I found metas written by some lovely Sokkla shippers on here and I decided that maybe, if I could be kinder to Azula, I could be kinder to myself.

But I made the mistake of sharing this on my tumblr and all my old Zutara friends FREAKED OUT. Lot all of them were mean about it, but some were. And eventually it ended up in tags that attracted other Zutara shippers and they attacked me over and over again, saying the most messed up things. Calling me mentally ill. Calling me homophobic. Calling me an abuse apologist. Even saying I must be an abuser and a horrible person if I identified with a psychopath like Azula at all. All because I said I like Sokkla now and it helped me.

I left the Zutara fandom that day. But I still love ATLA! I love Katara and Zuko as much as I used to, I just don’t really ship them anymore.

Sokkla is my ship now and it upsets me when people Zutara or TyZula or other fans bash it for no reason. Just like what you like and leave us alone! Zutara gives me panic attacks sometimes now because of it. I blocked all the tags and I’m never going back.

By the way, I’m doing better now! I’m back in school and I have new friends. One of my friends has a cute brother who likes ATLA. And his favorite character is Sokka. I asked him if he likes Sokkla and he said he had never thought about it before. But now we send each other fan art!

I have hope now, and a lot of that is thanks to friends and therapy. But Sokkla fandom helped me realize I deserved those things to begin with. If they could show empathy to Azula, then maybe people could show it to me too.

And to everyone in the Zutara or TyZula fandom who harasses people who ship Azula with people you don’t like: FUCK YOU.

Thank you for this blog. It helps me realize I’m not crazy. They really can be that mean and delusional. Sorry for the rant.

...Anon, do you want a hug?

#anti zutara #abuse #triggering content #mental illness

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 7 months ago

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Obligatory, I don't think I'm technically wrong, but I know I could be an asshole, I think I'm justified, I wanna know what other ppl think, etc,

This is mult. fandom related and I'm 25 and have been on Tumblr for approx 10 years so I'm not speaking as someone new to either Tumblr or fandom spaces

AITA for reporting art and fic as spam when it's tagged as something else in a tag I'm searching for?

This applies to many fandoms I'm in not just one so I feel no need to list them since it's not like personal beef or fandom specific drama but basically as I'm sure many people do when I want to see fan art or even the occasional fic for my favorite character I'll go into their character tag via Tumblr search, it's one of the few things I enjoy about this website is it's semi functional tagging and search system. But more often and usually lately I've been finding a lot of stuff in say character A tag that doesn't have character A in it, it's a drawing of character B that's been tagged with the main fandom tag, B, and every other main character. I know its so the art or fic gets more views but it's annoying ESPECIALLY if it's fic because not to generalize but fics tagged like that usually dont have a read more either so I have to scroll past this massive block of text that's not only a fic I'm not interested in, but one that's incorrectly tagged for a character I'm trying to find content of so they're the ones I tend to report as spam the most over art which is easier to scroll past ill admit

Even on ao3 it's a feux pas to tag characters that just "appear" if they're not central to the fic so they already shouldn't be tagging any character mentioned in their fic

This USUALLY tends to happen with people's oc posts as well and nothing against OCs they're just not my thing and if I were in the main tag I'd happily scroll by since I recognize their place but just like the other two I'll notice it's just a drawing of someone's oc or their OC's profile and it's tagged with the full main cast, thus showing up in the character I'm looking for's tag

Or character x readers and character A (and C, D, E, F, etc) will be tagged on a B x reader fic, obviously I have no interest in reading a fic like that especially when again the entire cast has been tagged not because they appear in the fic but for engagement

Also I'm not dumb I filter for fandoms so like if the tag I'm in is just "Steve" obviously I know it'll apply to multiple fandoms like Minecraft or avengers since that's a super nonspecific name/tag I'm talking about deliberate tagging within the same fandom

I also don't report the post if they're like "this is my OC his name is James Bond" obviously that's gonna show up in like the James Bond tag which while more specific would not count as spam since that's still a proper tag that would apply, it's the OC's name that just happens to be the name of another character

So, while I don't feel bad because I find these people annoying since they're obviously tagging things like I mentioned on purpose for attention but on the other hand I feel a little guilty because fan art and fan fic is important to any fandom but just, that is one of the definitions of a spam post is something improperly tagged on purpose

TLDR: I report posts in my favorite character's tag as spam when they don't have my favorite character but are tagged with them because they clog up the actual tag with garbage

#aita #am i the asshole

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scotfraweek · 2 months ago

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It’s here guys! The long awaited list for ScotFra Week! Thank you to those of you who voted on the poll/form

I hope you guys like the list I created. I had to really think this through and really decide how I wanted to organize the Themes/Prompts in a way that would not only make sense but that would be interesting and bring out your creative and imaginative ideas to the event.

Now without any further ado, here they are

🌹Day 1 - October 20

Soulmates / Reincarnation

“Maybe we make it in another universe/life”

“Have we met before?”

High School Sweethearts

Differences Attract

❤️Day 2 - October 21

Humanverse VS Fantasy

“We can build something new, for us.”

“Have you ever wondered, of what could’ve been?”

Long-Distance Relationship

🌹Day 3 - October 22

A/B/O or Pirates/Merfolk

“I was here first!”

“Is this what you want?”

Unplanned Pregnancy

Jealousy

❤️Day 4 - October 23

✨F R E E D A Y✨

Anniversary

🌹Day 5 - October 24

Horror / Supernatural (In honor of Halloween)

“Why is there so much blood?!”

“So everything you said was a lie?”

There was only one bed

Serial Killer/ Haunted House

❤️Day 6 - October 25

Artist/Fan or Detectives

“There was a slight miscommunication”

“You’ve never done this before, have you?”

Love = Weakness

Rivalry

🌹 Last Day - October 26

Angst/Hurt or Post Apocalypse

“Do you remember when…?”

“I trusted you!”

Character Death/Still Alive

The End of the World

🌹 Of course if you guys would like, you can mix and match. If a prompt from a different day fits your idea for one of the Themes, you are more than welcome to use it. You also can use more than one prompt if you wish as well!

❤️ Art, fics/one-shots and moodboards are all welcomed. Anything that you can use to express your imagination and creativity

✨How to submit your works✨

Just tag the account @scotfraweek as well as the #/ScotFraWeek2024 with your submission/post

✨R U L E S✨

Yes, there are rules guys… please follow them

I will not tolerate any bashing of other Hetalia Characters even if it is for the sake of your idea. Please be respectful of the other characters, I don’t want any fan-wars bc someone’s blorbo was bashed

Try to keep politics and actual life events to a minimum, no need for there to also be any actual hate/fighting during the event amongst participants.

I will say this only once, please to not use other artist’s/writer’s work to enter the event. All work must be solely yours. If someone calls you out for plagiarism, I will NOT be defending you, you’re on your own for that

Please, please, PLEASE, and I can NOT stress this enough, but absolutely no AI can be used for your submissions. Once again, all works must be unique and original. If your work requires AI, then it is NOT original. I will not reblog your work if i get the slightest hint of AI work, and believe me, I can tell

Please keep comments on other participants work friendly. Respect the other participant’s submissions for the event. If you do not like someone’s work for whatever reason — Block the user. I will not stand for any hate/bullying in other people’s post because their work did not meet your expectations. This also goes for spectators who will not be submitting work of their own.

Finally, have fun! This event is about showing love and creativity for the french bastard and his ginger himbo hubby. Bring out your creativity and your best suit!

Late submissions will still be accepted up to 3 days after the event is over!

‼️If you feel like another participant’s work is breaking the rules or is offensive towards you or anyone else, be sure to let me know so proper actions will be taken

📫The account’s inbox will be open for any questions or even ideas that you have in regards of the event!

💔I genuinely do apologize, I had truly intended to have this out a few days ago, but … things happen. I hope you are not too mad or upset with me

🤍 Can’t wait to see all your guy’s works next month, see you then!

@hetaliacalendar if you wouldn’t mind reblogging for a little signal boost pls 😭

#ScotFra #scotfra week #scotfra week 2024 #hws scotland #hws france #aph scotland #aph france #FraScot #hetalia

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tachiharastanacc · 1 month ago

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hello fellow tachi fan, do you have any tachi fic recs, also here to say tysm for your contribution to the tachihara tag, our strongest tachihara soldier fr 🫡🫡

I be out here fighting tooth and nail (I hyperfixate on one character at a time and it's him and I need to talk abt him 24/7 actually) so ty for acknowledging my efforts for our cause.

BUT YES FIC RECS (below cut bc I've figure out how to use them)

After All, Spies Are The First To Die In A War

One of my favorite Tachi fics of all time. I'm a sucker for both post-canon and blind Tachi, and this one is great. It's Tachigin, so heads up if that's not ur thing, but I think they're very cute.

Together At Last

Unfinished, probably never going to be finished. But it's a cute couple chapters in the apocalypse. Atsushi-centric but Tachi gets cool moments.

are we there yet?

Hunting Dog road trip fluffy. Silly crack, very cute.

blocks, boy bands, bones, and birthdays

Also not Tachi-centric, but very, very cute. Baby DOA and HD at preschool.

Hunting Dogs (& Cat) Adventures

HD as Fukuchi's dogs (and cat!Jouno) except they cause chaos. Puppy Tachi is there, he's very cute.

It's Still Raining

HD (specifically sgk angst). Tachi isn't there much, but again, I love aftermath fics.

The More The Merrier

Another one of my absolute favorite fics! PM and HD meet at Tachi's apt by accident during the Holidays.

undercover (a table for three)

Ima be so fr this one is a MHA crossover and probably not gonna be updated, by Tachi was one of the main characters

lock picks and rusted metal

by @karmicpunishment

First one is lil Tachi using his ability for the first time and the second is Tachi almost missing his surgery (I'm low key in love with the whole HD surgery concept, so immediate win for me)

government projects club and blood vs water

by @starfocks are also both relatively short and sweet.

First one is most HD surgery pain but with the mafia and the second is found family meets Tachi's shit parents

Wind flower

Really well planned out Chuuya-centric ADA AU, but Tachi is a big part of it and their friendship makes me happy. Poor lil bro is a victim of the Tanizaki's tho.

Solace

by @miammey

Tecchou-centric, but I never see people write Tecchou and Tachi together and it makes me happy whenever I see them.

How to Raise Your Hunting Dog

I'm going to move my fics to ao3 at some point probably (I've been meaning to) and probably just make a Tachi one shot collection. Especially bc I have more that I haven't gotten around to posting here yet. BUT. This one is posted and if u wanna see my ao3 acc when I will end up posting them, that's where it'll be.

I might make a part 2, bc there are definitely more one shots and stuff that I'm missing, but that's what I had in my bookmarks.

I've gone thru pretty much the entire Tachi tag (Sorted by new and just scrolled back to front, it was a few months long process), so there are others. There is just also a lot of junk to sort thru (I'm looking at you skk fics that have Tachihara tagged except he's either so out of character and awful that it's unbearable or he just shows up to say one line and then leave).

#bsd #bungo stray dogs #bsd tachihara #tachihara michizou #bsd fanfic #bsd fic #ao3 link #bungou stray dogs #tachihask

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weaselbeaselpants · 1 year ago

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Legit Bad-take/Bad-Faith Helluvaverse critics you should not trust if you see them

Interpersonal squabbles within the critical tag are irrelevant, sorry. This here is a genuine warning against users you should keep your distance from in regards to any VivziePop drama-discourse because their names may come up and you should know what it is that crossed the line.

Starlatte/Starvader/HonestHazbinCritiques/OhGodDude and Woomycritiques/RaySquid - Serial harasser(s). Long story incoming. Starlatte was/is a Vivcritical who got involved in the fandom back in 2019/2020 when she was a minor and didn't tell anyone. Her blog on tumblr was HonestHazbinCritiques where she made some good points but also managed to find/be a part of everyone else's takes in the critical community. Her relationship with several criticalblogs turned sour when she started lashing out, talking over people, being accused of faking her age, and doing stuff like arguing with irl sexworkers abt how they should feel about Angel Dust. Whatever her age actually was at the time, she was also sending her own rewrite scripts and fanwritten episodes to Spindlehorse in order to 'fix' Hazbin. In 2021 Star returned to Tumblr under the name "Oh-God-Dude" w/o disclosing to new people who she was while also starting shit. When said new ppl found out her past and got mad at her, she proceeded to block-backtalk every one of them.

Woomycritiques (twitter handle: Raysquid) is a critical blogger who stans Star and calls everyone else in the critical community an obsessed stalker while lashing out herself. She accused others of racism (unfounded), her friends of predation just for being proship (not the 'cest and underage is good'-kind, the "I like some problematic stuff in fic-context"-kind), and heckled Dirgentlemen over how much they should hate Helluva, and more.

Regardless of if you believe Woomy and Star are the same person, which ppl do, they are both -by now- adult persons who have been asked to stop and DIDN'T, which is why people don't trust them. Star and Woom were asked to tone it down, stop making accusations and even asked by many criticals to leave and stop talking about Helluvaverse as she/they seem to have nothing good to say about it. To put that into perspective, cuz I know some HH/HB fans are gonna be reading this: the people who've self-styled themselves antis and criticals begged this person to leave cuz she had nothing nice to say and was being a nuisance. I know the stans think that's all of us anyway, so let that sink in.

LincarRox aka ToyTaker - Creep. Nasty jealous stalker freak who got kicked out of Helluvaverse servers and Aminos for saying nasty shit like how he "wants to put a baby" in Viv. No really. He took his shit and grievances to BadWebComics wiki under the name TheToyTaker while also seemingly trying to get work at Spindlehorse in order to have access to Viv directly and to 'fix' her show. He did so by faking his animation portfolio. BWW did eventually catch on and kick him out but yeah....bad. May or may not still be going under his old pseudonyms, but regardless if you see someone talking weirdly sexually abt Viv while saying they were "let go" both by SH and BWW, get out now. That's probably him.

Animation Call-Out - Bigoted shitlord. Twitter user who rags on Vivz' controversies w other people but also hates gays and BIPOCs. Admitted to submitting one of the anonymous reviews against Spindlehorse "for fun" amidst legitimate ex-employees. All of the reviews, even the ones that seem the most validating/believable should be taken with a grain of salt I believe especially since they are coming to us anonymously, but when a racist person admits to def being one of those fake reviews for "Lolz" sake, that's def when shit's hit the fan.

DoodleToons - Also bigoted creeperlooser. Altright white kid who hates BIPOC existing in anything and admits to hating Viv's stuff for their LGBTisms and 'demons'. Yes, there legit are bad-faith critics who are homophobic. Just because Viv and her crew have a way of saying that's EVERY critic of her work doesn't mean there aren't shitty people out there.

#read first paragraph #I'm not putting Lemon or Chai or whoever here just cuz u don't like em #vivziepop critical #helluva boss critical #call out post #call out tw #hazbin hotel critical #spindlehorse critical #critical fandom

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ladykailitha · 11 months ago

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Look, considering I've only gotten involved in Stranger Things after season four and therefore haven't been around the fans during other new season filming starts, but my brothers/sisters/nb in fandom what the honest fuck is going on right now?

I have been a part of other fandoms when new seasons started filming and the worst I'd seen was BBC Sherlock. And you lot are behaving worst then they did.

And Jesus fuck, that's a fucking low ass bar.

(Again I am ship and let ship, kinktomato, and headcanon free for all)

But this is just what I've seen in my small deliberately secluded corner of the internet so forgive me if I get some things wrong.

Ronance fans have turned on Steddie fans.

Steddie fans are trying to eat each other over who tops and who bottoms between two horny, barely out of their teens, men.

Eddie is confirmed dead.

Dustin is trying to become Eddie.

People want Will dead because Noah Schnapps said some stupid shit regarding genocide.

And Argyle isn't coming back.

I'm going to give you my feelings on these so buckle up lets go:

1- Steddie and Ronance fans have turned on each other. And I know this because I doom scroll through steddie tag. That Ronance fans think Steddie fans are delusional and that they're going down after season five airs and there will be more Ronance fans because they're perfect for each other.

Where to even begin on this? First, never tell a shipper that their ship is never going to be canon because they don't care. Just ask all the Destiel, johnlock, and merarthur fans. Steddie fans are just going to ignore all but the most salient parts of season 5 if Eddie doesn't come back and write AUs for the rest of their lives. You know, like they have since the last scene on the Piggyback faded to black?

Secondly, I don't think I've seen much Ronance without Steddie. Granted I only read Steddie, but it seems that the two ships are tied pretty heavily together. The fruity four comes to mind. So maybe it's that they're getting tired of being a side ship next to a massive one like Steddie. Who knows. But apparently they're bitter.

And I say that because they keep tagging their anti-Steddie posts as Steddie to make sure we see it. Honestly, I just block them and go about my day. But seriously, I've never understood people's need to be shitty like posting hate on the tag for that thing. If you don't like it, fine. Block and move on.

Thirdly. Lastly. Maybe. I don't like Ronance. I saw the charms when I first joined the fandom and it was cute. Until the more I read and I realized that most of the time they don't bring up that Jonathan is even a person let alone Nancy's current boyfriend. That most of the time Steve is written wildly out of character about not caring that they're a couple and that he just wants them to be happy. Like, one Jonathan is severely under used in the fics I've read. Like Will doesn't have an older brother anymore. It's all Steve or Eddie. Which considering how you like your flavor of queer for Eddie or Steve (gay/pan/bisexual) Will talking to them about being gay makes sense, but Jonathan showed us in the last season that he is going to protect Will no matter what. Then blip! in fanfics, he's gone.

And then the whole Steve being okay with Robin not only dating an ex-girlfriend of his, but the ex. The one he thought he was going to marry. The one he dreamed a whole fucking future on. That was still hurt by two fucking years later. You either think very lowly of Steve or you just don't care. Because if you think Robin and Steve are the same person/share the same braincell/ride or die for life, there is no way even if Nancy threw herself at Robin would she even consider it. (I can write a whole ass post just on this by the way, don't get me started.)

2- This is the most recent bullshittery due to a current event about Sub Eddie. This is the worst discourse in any fandom and the worst offenders on either side tend say the most homophobic shit imaginable.

And it's pointless. Whether you think Steve is a top or bottom, whether you think he's dom or a sub. Same with Eddie. Everyone has their own flavor they prefer and they won't always match up with yours.

Personally I write them whatever feels natural for the story. But here's the major crux of the matter. I don't believe a little nerd in Bumfuck, Indiana has any idea what flagging is. I'm sorry. Left pocket, right pocket. Doesn't matter. The likely of him even knowing what BDSM is is pretty slim. I grew up in a small town. There will be some people that know, but that's because they know adults in the scene.

Don't like, don't read. Seriously, guys. Let people enjoy what they want to.

My personal feelings on the matter is that Steve is a bottom/sub because he deserves to be taken care of and Eddie would absolutely want to be that person for Steve, in and out of the bedroom. Again, you do you, beau.

3- The tombstone. Sigh. It was hard to see that. Not just because it confirms he's dead, but because it's been defaced. Most likely like fans have said, "BURN IN HELL" the poor bastard.

Having a tombstone doesn't necessarily preclude Eddie's return. There are several ways he can still comeback Kas! theory not withstanding. But the wank here is people jumping on Steddie shippers and Eddie fans in general pointing and screaming "see!"

Like we didn't have campaigns for Barb and Bob and (Billy). If someone's favorite character has died, don't be dicks when they want them to be resurrected a la Jim Hopper. Because that right there is the main reason people will still hold out hope until the final scene fades to black, okay?

I guess this one is just be nicer to each other, okay?

4- *sob* like holy fuck. Dustin you sweetheart. The long hair, the torn Hellfire t-shirt, the rings. The horns and sticking out his tongue. That poor boy needs several hugs STAT! And of course, people can't leave well enough alone on Facebook, I couldn't tell you how many of the comments were "steddie fans are going to make this all about them, aren't they?" Even though there wasn't a single comment by a Steddie making it about Steve/Eddie. But so many eye rolls. The other half were death threats against Noah Schnapp.

Which brings me to...

5- Noah Schnapp said some really shitty things about Zionism and the attack on Gaza. There is no escaping that. He said them. He double downed on them. And while yes it sucks he said those things, let's not forget he's still young and stupid. He's barely 18/19 years old. I remember being that age and saying stupid fucked up shit, and hoo boy does this make me grateful I was well into adulthood when the internet became a thing (24ish).

There are a lot of reasons to be upset by his comments and I get that. But death threats and calls for his dismissal/boycotts just seems excessive to me.

One, because the story began with a kidnapped little boy and a runaway little girl. If you get rid of one of them especially this close to the end it would fuck up the story. Now if there was more than one season left, sure. But this is literally the end. And for all we know, Will's character may already be doomed by the narrative. So calling for it now isn't go to do anything. Especially since they already had all the scripts written and would have finished filming if it hadn't been for the strikes.

Two, one person on the cast said something stupid and hurtful and you want to boycott the entire show for it? Like, what did David Harbor, Joe Keery, Maya Hawke, Millie Bobby Brown and all the others do to deserve you boycotting their show? If the last season tanks it could seriously hurt their careers, but hey Noah Schnapp said something bad, so fuck them?

I'm going to stop there, because this is another one I can go on and on about, but yeah. Don't hurt other people in your rush to vilify an 18 year old.

6- Eduardo Franco recently said that he didn't get a call so he didn't think he would be back. He was sure that ship had sailed.

Fans are upset, naturally. Argyle was a sweetheart and deserves better than to be cut from the story like that.

But thanks to the incident with David Harbor and Jim Hopper supposedly being dead, a lot of fans are saying he's only saying that because it's a "secret" he's coming back. Which would make sense for Eddie or any of the other character died. Martin Brenner, for example, but not Argyle. There would be no need for subterfuge. Plus, he would already be out in Georgia if he was coming back.

It's sad that he was done dirty this way, but if they split up the filming like they've done before there is still a chance he might get to come back, but as far as the current filming is concerned, yeah Argyle isn't coming back.

***

Just... be kind to each other. Remember that the other people on the end of the URL is an actual person with feelings. That people can like what they like so if they aren't hurting you, don't hurt them, okay?

#my writing #stranger things #ladykailitha rants #tw wank #fandom wank #season 5

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ensemblesmile · 2 years ago

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rockstar in love

tags: best friends dad, age gap (reader in their 20s, semi in his 30s), fingering, hickeys, vaginal penetration, unprotected sex, infidelity, (and probably more that i can’t currently think of).

warnings: minor and ageless blogs DNI!! i will block any that do interact without ages in their bios or pinned.

word count: 10.6k

summary; famous rockstar semi eita is thought to be in a happy marriage with two amazing kids, however his life isn’t quite so picture book perfect as his fans might think. or, at least it wasn’t. but the moment he met you, he dreams of the actual picture book life he could have with you that finally comes true during your final summer break of college.

a/n: it's finally posted! it feels like ages since i posted this thirst of a rockstar!dilf!semi eita. it is definitely different from that post, however the dilf rockstar semi is still the same, and that he is also readers best friends dad. also, this was my first time ever writing smut so i would like to apologize if that part of the fic is not written well... also also, i may or may not write a second part depending on if this is well received or not as well as if i get any ideas... anyways, i hope you enjoy!

semi eita, lead bassist and composer for the infinity order, had prided himself on the fact he had the most perfect family anyone could ever dream of. the perfect wife, an amazing son, and a beautiful daughter. or at least, that's the façade he's kept up for years because his manager didn't want him to ruin his image or his bands.

however, behind closed doors, his family isn't all that it's cracked up to be. his son hasn't willingly talked to him in years, his wife cares more about money and status than being a good wife, a good lover. the only thing good in his life is his daughter, the only one who's been by his side through everything.

when his daughter had gone off to an arts school in the states, he'd thrown himself into his work, hoping to distract himself from having to see his wife or son the few times a day they would come home. due to his newfound dedication with his work, his band mates had started to worry about their lead bassist and composer. they hoped he wasn't pushing himself too much, but they couldn't lie and say they didn't find his dedication to his work admirable. and because of this need to stay away from home, the band had been able to crank out single after single, eventually being able to turn out a few new albums before the year was up and gaining more and more attention from new fans, both nationally and internationally. and due to this newfound popularity, semi and his band mates had been able to quit their day jobs in order to focus solely on their band.

once semi quit his day job, he'd moved out of the penthouse suite he shared with his wife and son, buying himself his own house and a huge property, thankfully being able to afford it due to his bands rise in popularity.

the few times his daughter had come back to japan for breaks, she'd brought various friends with her, though only one seemed to always be by her side. that friend was you, a sassy dancer semi had started to get to know as incredibly strong willed, stubborn as all hell, and, at least in semi's eyes, sexy as fuck and intriguing as hell. whenever you were visiting with his daughter, he would always find himself secretly searching for or staring at you, sometimes feeling an erection start to grow if you happened to be trying out a new dance routine when you thought only his daughter, semi aiko, was looking. he'd always curse himself when he found himself growing hard to his daughters best friend, hating that you, someone almost half his age, had such an effect on him. he couldn't help that he once recorded a new dance you had been showing aiko, jacking off to the you in the video who's hips swayed tantalizingly and the look on your face which was pure sin in semi's eyes.

you, on the other hand, seemed oblivious to his growing attraction towards you. when you'd first met him, he'd been nothing more than your best friends father, the one person in aiko's family that she even still talked to. but as you started to get to know him during your visits to japan, you'd slowly started to find him attractive the more you got to know him. you, however, would always shake off your attraction towards him, cursing yourself for starting to feel something for your best friends father. honestly though, you couldn't keep shaking off your growing attraction towards the mysterious, tall, dark, and handsome male that always welcomed you into his home with open arms. you would have to face your feelings eventually.

so one spring break, when you returned to japan with aiko, your attraction for him (and he for you) started to bubble over, resulting in "coincidental" run ins, lingering looks shared over meals or conversations, brief touches as you passed each other in the halls, or random excuses to touch each other in...less than appropriate ways.

you had also found yourself dressing differently. not in a way that would show more skin, but in a way that showed off your curves without revealing skin. you were confident in your body up to a point, but once clothes started coming off, your comfort levels started to decrease. that was why you'd stuck with clothes that accentuated your curves. and boy did semi notice these changes, finding that he seemed to be getting harder a lot more frequently, finding more chances for lingering touches or chances to talk with you more just so he could stare at you in the guise of being a good listener.

these actions, however, did not go unnoticed by aiko, the one person who knew semi the best. the mutual yet hidden feelings had become clear to her one day during her second year of college when she and you had been visiting japan for a short visit during spring break. at first, aiko was a bit weirded out by this development when she'd first found out, however she had slowly started to accept it — and even silently support it — the more she realized her father had been happier than he had been in a while. if you, her best friend, were able to make her father genuinely smile — a feat he'd only been known to do when onstage nowadays — then of course she would support a relationship between her best friend and her father. how couldn't she? if you genuinely made her dad happy, she would help your relationship blossom.

so, after months of secretly planning, she invited you to visit her father in japan with her during summer break where she would finally put her plan into action. well, she would start working on her plan before summer break by getting you more comfortable with wearing clothes you were usually less than comfortable wearing. and one day, after you had agreed to visit japan with her for the third summer in a row, she had suddenly brought up you and her father which had caused you to blush bright red and stutter hurriedly to change the subject. however, with that reaction, aiko's suspicions had finally been confirmed — at least on your end. she would still need to confirm things concerning her father, but that could wait. right then, she had to grill you about those feelings you were feeling towards her dad.

"so, y/n, now that you've agreed to visit japan with me for summer break, is it because you know my dad will be back from tour?" aiko had suddenly asked one day during a sacred girls day you and aiko usually did after a rather stressful week of classes.

"wh- what are you talking about, aiko? of course that's not the reason," you'd quickly rejected, face heating up into a deep red blush, quickly turning away from her so she couldn't see the blush coating your cheeks.

"i knew it!" aiko cheered upon seeing your reaction, hands thrown into the air in triumph.

"shut up, i have no idea what you mean," you muttered, shaking your head at your best friend in embarrassment.

"oh, i'm not mad," aiko assured, reaching out to give your arm a squeeze of reassurance. "yeah, when i first found out i was a bit confused and concerned, but the happier i saw my dad get, the more i found i was okay with it. sure, you're my best friend, and sure, it would be weird to start thinking of you as my stepmom, but so long as my dad is happy and finally out of that toxic relationship, the better off he'll be. and i just know he'll be better off with you in the picture."

"wait, so you're actually supporting this?" you had questioned, dumbfounded at the way aiko seemed completely okay with whatever might happen. "and don't get ahead of yourself. i don't even know if eita-san likes me in that way."

"so long as you make my dad happy, then yeah, i'll support you," aiko nodded, sending you a smile so big and contagious, you felt your own smile grow in response. however, you felt it slip away the moment aiko had given you a serious look. "but i swear, if you end up hurting my dad, i will make your life miserable. and don't be ridiculous, if he didn't also like you in that way, do you think i would even be bringing this up?"

"of course, ma'am, i would never dream of hurting eita-san," you responded seriously, earning a quick attitude change from aiko in the process. this had you raising a silent eyebrow in concern, musing silently to yourself about how the semi family — at least the two you knew — were very strange people. but you knew for a fact that if given the chance, you would never choose to not meet your best friend, the first true friend you had ever known — your own siblings excluded.

and so, the rest of that girls day was spent discussing aiko's surefire plan to get you and her father together.

step one: get you more comfortable with wearing more revealing clothes so that by summer, you could confidently strut around in clothes aiko knew would drive her father mad. step two: get you both chances for those lingering touches to get bolder, more insistent. in aiko's words, "build up that sexual tension." step three: set up the perfect occasion for you and him to be alone, setting the most perfect atmosphere for all that built up sexual tension. in aiko's words, "that built up sexual tension needs to snap at some point, why not make it while i'll be out of the house so you have the whole place to yourselves? besides, i don't want to hear any of it."

after giving you the plan, you and her worked continuously on it to refine and rework the plan before heading to japan for summer break, where you would start to enact said plan into your daily life.

it started the moment you arrived in japan, wearing a much too revealing outfit in public for semi's liking. you wore black combat boots, black fishnets, short jean shorts, a black crop top decorated by a silver sun design that happened to reveal your stomach if you were to move or stretch a certain way, and a red flannel that hung low over your backside so that from the back angle, it looked like you weren't wearing any pants. never in a million years would he have guessed it was you walking beside his daughter as you both made your way to the baggage claim, talking excitedly to each other with bags slung haphazardly over your shoulders.

as he stood in the airport, he realized that he must've been standing out too much because he found himself surrounded by a sea of fans, all bombarding him with questions and requests, though he hardly seemed to notice them as he barely took his eyes off you and your — in his eyes — very appealing yet revealing attire.

"sorry, my daughter and her friend are here, thank you for supporting my band and i," semi quickly spoke up, pushing through the crowd to get to you and aiko's side.

"hi, dad!" aiko smiled, giving her father a bright smile and big hug, happy to see her father after the semester apart. "you didn't have to pick us up, we could've called an uver," aiko added, glancing towards the large group of people who all seemed to be staring at them.

"nonsense, i wanted to greet my daughter the moment she came back to japan, just like i always have," semi responded, ruffling the younger semi's hair in amusement.

"hey, not the hair," aiko protested, sending her dad a glare as she fixed her hair.

"thank you for having me again this summer, eita-san," you finally spoke, having been silent the entire exchange, but now finally finding the perfect opportunity to speak up — though it may have had more to do with aiko giving you a sharp elbow to the side.

"of course, y/n, thank you for continuing to watch over my daughter in the states," semi responded, giving you a warm smile.

"of course, i'd never leave aiko, she'd be in trouble if it weren't for me," you spoke teasingly, eyes twinkling in amusement as you smirked at your best friend due to the look she had shot you.

"shut up, y/n, like you're one to talk," aiko responded, elbowing your side, causing you to double over in mock pain.

"ouch, i'm wounded, aiko," you responded, placing one hand above your heart while the other went to rub your side as if to soothe a sharp pain.

"payback's a bitch, isn't it," aiko teased, a twinkle of amusement in her eye that semi had grown used to whenever you and her were together.

semi simply watched your and aiko's exchange, used to the dynamic you shared due to your closeness. it was something semi had no idea he was missing until it suddenly came back into his life. he was so lost in thought thinking about how much he had missed his daughter, and especially you, that he hadn't realized that aiko was heading towards the carousel to collect your and her luggage until you were pulling gently at his arm in order to move off to the side so you weren't taking up so much space. with a muttered apology for getting lost in thought, he quickly followed you, watching from the corner of his eye as you tapped away furiously on your phone. he had an urge to see what you were doing, but he knew he needed to respect your privacy, so he refrained, deciding to simply watch in amusement as you reacted to what was on your phone with minute facial details. a crinkle in your brow to show confusion, a light blush to show embarrassment, a huff and pursed lips to show annoyance, a smirk to show smugness. semi should probably feel worried that he could pick up on so much when it came to you, but he just couldn't find it in himself to actually feel that way. after all, you were a puzzle he just wanted to solve — or was there more to it?

"—ther, father you there?" aiko questioned, waving a hand in front of semi's face to try and catch his attention. "i got our luggage if you want to get out of here." aiko explained, gesturing down to the two bags that now sat at their feet. "and also, to get away from...this," she added, glancing behind her to gesture to the sea of people still trying to get a good look at half of the semi family.

"ahh yes, sorry," semi apologized, glancing from his daughter to the crowd gathering behind her then back to his daughter before sending her an apologetic smile and then taking both bags for the girls and leading the way to his car so they could leave. he could hear you and aiko whispering together behind his back, however it was too soft so he wasn't able to pick up on just what you might be whispering.

"you take the front seat, talk to him," aiko was whispering, urging you to make a move, even if it was just a small one.

"you'll be in the backseat though, so won't that be a bit awkward," you whispered back, glancing nervously in front of you to semi's back.

"as if, i'll have my headphones in and i am a bit jet lagged, i'll probably take a nap on the drive there," aiko responded, rolling her eyes at your nervous attitude in amusement.

"but-" you tried again, only to earn a sharp glare from aiko to stop you from continuing.

"look, think of it this way, this is step one of our plan to get rid of the sexual tension between you and my father," aiko hissed, shoving you towards the front seat upon the arrival to semi's vehicle.

having finished putting your bags into the back of the vehicle, semi had watched the particularly insistent shove from aiko with a raised eyebrow, a small smirk taking over his features as he notices the subtle glare you had sent aiko before opening the front passenger door and taking a seat in the passenger side of the car.

aiko simply rolled her eyes at you in reply as she got into the back seat, instantly pulling out her headphones and blasting her music, loud enough you could just barely hear it in the front of the car. reaching a hand behind you, you swatted at air, hoping to give your best friend a smack for being so obvious. aiko simply watched a you flailed around in amusement, making sure to keep to herself until semi got into the car, stopping your vain struggle in finding aiko in the back seat. she noticed semi's mouth moving, meaning he was probably talking to you though she couldn't hear anything over her music, not that she wanted to hear anything you or he would be saying. with that thought firmly in her mind, aiko stared out the window, letting her mind wander as she watched the scenery pass by, eventually letting jet lag catch up to her and resting her eyes.

you were in a similar position as aiko, though you tried to push through it in order to continue the conversation you'd been having with the rockstar. it was mainly about his career and your semester since you'd last seen him. small talk that slowly petered out as you, too, felt the affects of jet lag starting to catch up with you.

noticing the newfound silence, semi glanced at you from the corner of his eye, realizing you must've been tired though you looked like you wanted to fight it. with a small smile on his face, he reached over, placing a large, calloused hand on your thigh and gave it a gentle squeeze, urging you to go to sleep and that he would wake you when they arrived at his home. you sighed softly and nodded your head, resting it against the glass as you let your mind wander. absentmindedly, mind muddled with sleep, you had reached down towards his hand to gently start playing with his fingers as you felt yourself slowly fall asleep.

semi couldn't help the surprise that took over his face for a second before a soft smile made its way onto his face, stilling your fingers to gently turn over his hand and simply hold your hand, fingers interlaced as you slept. fleeting moments like these are what semi wished for, to bask in your warmth and acceptance of who he was and what he stood for. because that's what you did, accepted him for who he was the moment you'd met him.

semi silently lamented the fact you were his daughters age, because if you had been older, he would've instantly called for a divorce with his wife and had pursued you. no one besides aiko had ever accepted him for who he was, they were always too enamored with the fact he was a rockstar, too interested in his money or using him in order to get at his bandmates. they never seemed to see him as the man he was, but rather the man the media portrayed him as. but you were different, you had made an effort to get to know him, to understand the real him, who he was behind his rockstar persona.

upon arriving to the house, semi gently pulled your hand up to his lips where he pressed a gentle kiss against the back of your hand before he gently placed it back on your thigh and let go of your hand. you had made a sound of protest as he let go of your hand, though he couldn't tell if it was his imagination or not, so he simply leaned over, pressed a kiss to your temple, and then, in a whisper, promised he'd be back for you. then he got out of the car, grabbing both your and aiko's luggage, and bringing them inside and up to your designated rooms. then he came back for aiko, gently lifting her bridal style and bringing her to her own room and placing her on the bed. he knew he wouldn't be able to wake aiko so he decided he wouldn't bother. then he went back to the car in order to wake you up, though when he opened the passenger side door, he instantly found he didn't have the heart to. you just looked so peaceful, a calm look on your face instead of the worry that usually marred your beautiful features. sighing softly, he carefully unbuckled you and then picked you up bridal style, stiffening for a second when he felt you cuddle closer to him before heading towards your bedroom in the house. when he reached your room, he had carefully placed you down and then tucked you in, smiling to himself because you just looked so at ease while you slept.

as semi was turning to go, he froze as he felt a tug on his arm, causing him to slowly turn around to face you. "please stay," you murmured half asleep. semi silently cursed at the invitation, inwardly debating with himself on whether or not he should actually stay. he couldn't lie to himself, the thought of holding you while you slept did sound tempting, however he wasn't sure you knew entirely what you were saying as you lay there, half asleep, trying to get him to stay there with you.

sighing, he knelt down on the ground. "i want to, beautiful, but i don't want you to think i'm taking advantage of you or anything," he explained softly, cupping your cheek and rubbing his thumb on your bottom lip as he spoke.

"i don't care about that, i just want someone to hold me," you responded, leaning into his touch subconsciously. "please, eita-san, hold me, that's all i'm asking." honestly, you weren't above begging at this point, you just felt so touch deprived since your breakup that you didn't care who it was so long as they held you close. semi seemed to be debating with himself why he should and shouldn't give in, though he ultimately gave in to the desire to hold you close like he had when carrying you up to the room.

sighing, semi slipped off his shoes before lifting the blankets, urging you to scoot back as he climbed into the bed beside you and then enveloped you in his arms, smiling softly to himself the moment you shifted closer and buried your face in his chest. oh if only he could stay like that with you forever. finally holding you in his arms, softly tracing random patterns onto your back, semi felt at home, more at home than he'd ever felt when holding anyone — besides maybe aiko, though it definitely was in a different way from how he felt when he held you. you hummed softly, a content sound to semi's ears, as you slowly drifted off to sleep, your breathes evening out and lulling him to sleep as well. it didn't take long for him to fall asleep despite him trying to fight it.

it had been a few hours since you had arrived at semi's home when aiko woke up, slowly at first until she felt her stomach growl. after that sound, she quickly got up, dressed, and headed to your room to check if you wanted anything specific, though she froze in her steps upon opening the door, spotting her father cradling you against him as you both slept. a small smile took over her face as she whipped out her phone to snap a picture, forgetting that her sound was on and cringing when the shutter sound went off. despite the loud click her phone had made, she had managed to capture a sweet moment between them, smiling to herself as she closed the door and went towards the kitchen to make some food for herself, staring at the picture with a soft smile on her face.

in it, semi's back was facing the camera, his lower half covered by blankets. he had his arms wrapped around your midsection, with his chen resting softly above your head. she had managed to capture the picture at an angle, so she was able to just barely make out your face buried in semi's chest, a soft smile on your lips as if you were subconsciously reveling in the warmth semi provided as he snoozed right next to you.

"is that the picture you took of us?" a voice spoke up behind aiko, causing the young semi to jump in surprise and turn to face her dad who wore an apologetic smile at having scared his daughter.

"geez, dad, a little warning next time? i thought you were still asleep," aiko muttered, clutching a hand over her heart as she felt it racing beneath her hand.

"sorry, i thought you would've realized i woke up," semi grimaced, glancing away in embarrassment from his daughter. "but you have to admit, that click wasn't exactly subtle, im a bit surprised y/n's still asleep."

"oh please," aiko snorted, clicking her phone off and sliding it into her back pocket. "that girl can sleep through anything. it's a pain trying to wake her up in the mornings so she isn't late for classes."

semi hummed thoughtfully at this new information, enjoying the fact he was learning more about you, even if it was from his daughter and not directly from you. as he absorbed this new information about you, he made his way into the kitchen, grabbing pots, pans, dishes, anything he felt he would need when making dinner, aiko taking a seat at the island which sat in the center of the rather large kitchen. no words were spoken between the father daughter pair as the elder semi made dinner and the younger semi prepared a side dish, the pair working well together despite neither knowing what exactly the other was making.

when the meal was finally finished, neither semi had the heart to wake you just yet so they made sure to keep whatever needed to stay warm was nice and toasty in the oven while they cleaned up and set the table in the dining room that semi only ever used whenever the pair were there or he had guests over. the silence was broken by aiko who had been trying to come up with a subtle yet serious way to bring up the potential relationship between two of the three people who mattered most to her.

"so, you and y/n?" she had questioned, earning a raised eyebrow from semi as if asking what she meant by that. "like, what's going on? do you like her or..."

"why are you asking, aiko?" was semi's response as he continued to set the table, making sure not even the napkins were out of place.

"oh, you know," aiko responded, a teasing glint in her eye as she unlocked her phone and tapped on the screen a few times before sliding the phone towards the rockstar, a smirk on her face as she watched a light blush coat semi's cheeks as he glanced at the phone and then looked away. "i totally encourage whatever it is you might want to pursue with my best friend. just, yknow, don't do anything gross around me, that crosses the line."

"pursue?" semi questioned, eyebrow raised at aiko as if questioning why she was bringing up something like that now of all times.

"yeah, i saw the way you were holding her, and when you picked us up from the airport, don't think i didn't notice the look you were giving her," aiko responded, a smirk now permanently on her face as the elder semi just continued to prove her point. "look, i was a bit weirded out at first when i found out about your...mutual interest in each other. however, as i watched your interactions from afar, i realized that y/n makes you happy, more happy than i've ever seen you with...her. if she makes you happy, i won't complain. but if you hurt my best friend..."

"yeah, i guess you're right," semi mused, thinking back to the time when they'd first met and the many other interactions since. okay, so maybe she was definitely right. "look, i won't hurt y/n, i could never hurt her. and i promise not to show too much affection with her in front of you. however, i don't...does she really like me like that?"

"seriously?" aiko questioned, an unimpressed eyebrow raised. semi gave her a somewhat sheepish look as aiko sighed and muttered something unintelligible under her breath. "geez, it's like you're a lovesick teenager, dad. i'm not having this conversation with you. no, no way."

"alright, i get it, i'll figure things out on my own," semi sighed before turning towards the archway and leaving the room.

"where you going?" aiko called after his retreating form.

"to wake up y/n so we can eat," semi responded, striding towards the stairs and to your room. pushing open the door, what semi wasn't expecting to find was you curled into a ball, your breaths coming in short, shallow gasps, eyes squeezed shut as if you were in pain. "hey y/n-hey y/n are you okay?" he questioned, dropping to his knees in front of you in order to be level with you. he had never seen you like this, though, so admittedly he didn't exactly know what to do in this sort of situation. he shot a quick text to aiko who suddenly appeared in the room, shoving her dad aside so she could be at eye level with you if you were to open your eyes.

"hey, y/n, open your eyes for me and breathe," aiko spoke, her tone gentle yet demanding as she spoke to her friend. y/n cracked an eye open slowly, one after another, staring into a familiar pair of hazel eyes. "good, now breathe in slowly through your nose, and then slowly out through your mouth." when aiko instructed you to breathe, you followed what she said, over and over again as you slowly felt the pounding of your heart decrease. the three of you sat in your room for a good half hour as you slowly calmed down and regained your bearings, neither semi willing to leave your side until you were calm enough to move.

when that happened, you slowly pulled yourself from your ball and gently sat at the edge of the bed, smiling softly in thanks at aiko for helping you get through yet another of your panic attacks, before your gaze averted to semi, eyes widening at the pure, unadulterated worry and relief swimming in his eyes as he gazed at you, hands going up to reach up to cup your face as he stared into your eyes, searching them for anything that might give him a hint as to what had just happened. he hardly acknowledged when aiko spoke up, saying she would be getting their dinner on the table, instead keeping his full focus on the woman who was slowly starting to steal his heart for herself.

"ei- eita-san, i'm okay, really," you murmured, a sigh escaping your lips as you leaned into his touch, hands moving up to cover his own resting on your cheeks.

"you really worried me there, beautiful," semi breathed, thumb absently running over your cheek and causing you to sigh into the touch.

"i'm sorry, i think it was just the unfamiliar environment that caused the panic attack, or it could've been my dream...though i don't really remember what it was about," you murmured in response, closing your eyes as you tried to remember just what your dream had been about.

"don't worry about the cause, i'm sorry i wasn't able to help you with it, i felt pretty useless just sitting there staring at you," semi apologized softly, taking his hands from your face and instead holding them out for you to grab, pulling you up so you were almost flush against him. honestly, what he really wanted to do was lay back down with you wrapped securely in his arms, however he knew you needed to eat something and aiko was probably waiting for them so he instead settled for wrapping his arms around your smaller frame, chin resting on the top of your head.

"i'm sorry for worrying you, eita-san, thank you for staying though," you murmured, wrapping your arms around his waist and leaning a cheek against his chest.

"shhh, it's okay, beautiful," semi responded. "now let's go eat dinner, i'm sure aiko's getting impatient."

"mmh, she does this to me all the time with her boyfriend, she'll survive," you hummed despite pulling away from semi and heading for the door, pausing when you felt a tug on your hand to turn back to him.

"stay with me tonight," semi murmured, interlacing your fingers together.

"feeling lonely?" you teased, eyes twinkling in amusement as a myriad of emotions seemed to pass over his eyes before landing on adoration.

"i just want to be there for you if something like that happens again in the middle of the night," semi responded, pulling you along with him as he led the way through the large house to the dining room where aiko was no doubt waiting for them. your brain seemed to have stalled at the new information which had caused semi to lead the way, making sure you were following behind despite your still clasped hands.

"ugh, dad, what did you do to my best friend?" aiko muttered, catching the almost vacant look in your eyes as you took the seat across from her, semi to your right at the head of the table.

"i don't think i did anything, she was fine until we left her room," semi responded, glancing worriedly at you as you absently started scooping food onto your plate.

the three of you fell into silence, both semi's casting worried glances over to you every so often. it wasn't until after dinner when you had offered to do the dishes that both semi's seemed to breathe sighs of relief that you were fine. aiko blamed it on the fact you still seemed tired, and the way you woke up hadn't been the best way, either, wracked with panic.

"yeah, okay, you do the dishes then, i'll set up a movie or something in the theatre to watch before we go to sleep for the night," aiko nodded, heading for the archway after having cleaned up her side of the table, handing the dishes off to semi as she left.

then, with hands full of dirty dishes, semi followed you into the kitchen and over to the sink where he set them down and then headed back out for the leftovers, transferring them to tupperware and placing them into the fridge.

the two of you worked in silence, with you washing the dishes and semi drying them after you had finished washing them. it felt so domestic to you, almost feeling like something you could get used to if it was with semi. the dishes were done faster than you would've liked, wanting to spend even just a little more time with semi before joining aiko in the home theatre room semi had redecorated part of the basement into.

it seemed semi had the same thought, wanting to spend even just a little more time with you before joining aiko for a movie night. after you had dried your hands with a towel semi hadn't used to dry dishes, semi had caged you in between himself and the island, hands resting on the island countertop to keep you trapped there. your usually soft e/c eyes went wide with surprise as you glanced from his arms to the smirk he wore. his hands slowly travelled from the island to your hips, lifting you up onto the island and setting you down on it so that you were almost eye level with him, though he was still taller than your seated form.

"eita-san, what are you doing?" you asked breathlessly, eyes never leaving his gaze.

"i was planning on finally kissing you if that was alright," semi responded softly, hands trailing from your hips to your thighs, spreading them apart so he could stand between your legs so he could be even that much closer to you.

"oh please," you murmured, wrapping arms around his neck to pull him closer to you, your bodies almost flush with each other as you got your first taste of each other. you smiled into the kiss as semi groaned, loving the way you felt against him. his lips parted and his tongue shot out, licking at your bottom lip as if demanding entrance. you responded in kind, parting your own lips to allow him entrance, tilting your head slightly to allow for better access, hands going from around his neck and into his hair to brush through his hair. when he slipped in his tongue, it met your own, at first fighting for dominance before he won, almost finding himself moaning at the taste of you and feeling himself go hard to the taste of you.

"ugh, please stop biting each others faces off," aiko muttered from the entrance of the kitchen before she entered and went about making popcorn.

semi silently cursed aiko for interrupting, pulling away from you who quickly buried your face in semi's neck to hide your blush from your best friend.

"i'm happy for you guys, truly, i am," aiko continued as the machine started the process of popping popcorn. "however, if i have to see anymore of that, i will cut you. i do not want to see my dad going at it with my best friend, that's a picture my mind would much rather live without."

"shut up, ai, it's not like i wanted to see you and your boyfriend going at it either, and yet here we are," you spoke up lightly, still blushing like crazy though your face was no longer hidden in semi's neck.

"shut up, that was completely different and you know it," aiko sniffed, turning her nose up and away from you in mock defiance.

"really? because at the time, your boyfriend happened to be my older brother," you responded, earning a sheepish look from aiko in response.

semi, who was simply content holding you close after you had pulled away from the kiss due to aiko's interruption, raised an eyebrow at the conversation between the best friends. "oh? you dated y/n's brother?" semi interrupted their conversation, earning a small nod from y/n in response while aiko sighed.

"yeah, they ended on good terms though," you murmured, smiling softly over semi's shoulder at aiko who couldn't help the slight frown on her face.

"they may have been good terms, but you never really forget your first relationship," aiko sighed, cupping her face in her hands as she thought back on her relationship with sora.

"if only you could," semi muttered darkly, though he had to admit that two good things came out of that relationship, and they were both currently in the kitchen with him. if he had never been with that woman in any way, he never would've had aiko, and if he never had aiko, he never would've met you. so one good thing that led to another good thing had happened between him and that woman — semi refused to think of her as anything else now that he was finally able to hold you in his arms.

"hey, stay with me, don't think back to then," you murmured, moving a hand up to his forehead to rub at the worry lines that started to mar his features. "be with me, in the moment, not then with her."

"you're right," semi murmured, moving his head to your neck to give you some featherlight kisses there.

"alright, and that's my cue to leave the room," aiko declared, taking her newly made bowl of popcorn and marching from the room, calling over her shoulder how the movie was ready whenever they were if they still wanted to watch it.

"we're coming!" you responded, pushing lightly at semi's shoulders in order to make him move back to give you space to jump down from the island. semi grumbled about having to watch a movie, saying he'd much rather spend his time doing something else to which you just laughed at, commenting how it was true guys only have one thing on the brain when it came to the object of their affection.

semi watched you for a few seconds, admiring the slight sway of your hips as you followed aiko, calling over your shoulder if he was coming or just going to admire your ass to which he chuckled and quickly caught up, grabbing your hand to guide you to a couch behind the one aiko sat at and away. he then got comfortable, reclining back before pulling you down to sit between his legs, back resting against his chest so he could cuddle with you as the movie played.

or maybe he wasn't thinking of just cuddling because aiko had barely even started the movie before semi swept aside your hair and you felt lips on your neck along with the subtle scape of teeth against your skin causing your breath to hitch in your throat at the feeling. without much thought, you exposed more of your neck to the bold male, feeling a smirk take over as he continued his ministrations on your neck, growing bolder as he listened to your breathing hitch in your throat or the way you exposed more of your neck to him. loving the way you reacted to him, he continued on, growing even bolder by lifting your shirt with his hands so he could trace your hips and stomach without barriers between his hands and your skin. another bold action was him trailing kisses along your neck until he found the spot on your neck that you reacted to the most and then biting down, leaving a bruise in its wake. he was quick to soothe the inflamed area with his tongue, feeling himself go hard at the breathless moan you released at the feeling.

"if you guys start doing it on that couch i swear to god," aiko spoke up, throwing a handful of popcorn in their general direction. "are you even paying attention to the movie? go upstairs if you're going to do...that."

"yeah yeah, i hear you aiko," semi responded, standing up with you in his arms bridal style. "enjoy...whatever it is you're watching. i think we'll be busy tonight so don't bother us any." he called over his shoulder as the two of you left, you slinging your arms around his shoulders for two reasons. the first being so you could steady yourself, not wanting to risk possibly falling from his grip. the second reason being to hide your face in his neck, your cheeks burning as you heard over and over again the exchange between your friend and the man you were slowly starting to realize you were in love with.

"hey now, beautiful, don't go getting shy on me now," semi spoke softly, stopping in front of a door and swinging it open, maneuvering himself and you inside before gently laying you down on the large king size bed on one side of the room in the center of that wall.

you carefully scooted yourself up the bed so that your back was resting on many pillows. then you took a moment to take in the room around you. directly across from the foot of the bed sat a nightstand with a large tv. on either side of the nightstand stood two doors, one of which you assumed led to a walk in closet and the other to the bathroom. a few pictures hung here and there of him and aiko mostly, though you did see some of him with his bandmates and even some of you, him, and aiko. honestly, the room didn't look how you were expecting it to. you thought the musician might have more instruments in his room just in case he thought of a melody or lyrics late at night.

semi could see your mind racing with questions, smiling softly at the sight of you slowly taking in his room. "what are you looking for, beautiful?"

"your room just looks...different from what i was picturing, i guess," you replied softly, turning your head to face him.

"really? how so?" he questioned, crawling into the bed right next to you, laying on his side so he could stare at you as you spoke.

"i don't know, i guess i just assumed, with you being a musician and all, especially being the composer for your group, that you would have more instruments set up around the place," you murmured, sighing at the feeling of his fingertips dancing over your hip as you turned onto your side to face him.

"that's a fair assumption," semi responded, loving to see how you reacted to his every touch. "my recording studio is right through that door though, so i don't really need them with me in order to compose in the middle of the night. however, i will tell you that this room is soundproof just like my recording studio, so you can be as loud as you want to and aiko will be none the wiser." he whispered against your lips, having moved closer as he explained where his instruments actually were.

your face instantly bloomed bright red at the implications, wanting to turn away from the shameless man in front of you, though he wouldn't let you because he was now kissing you, rolling you over so that he landed on top of you, using his forearms to steady himself so that he wouldn't crush you under his weight. but before the kiss could go any further, you moved a hand to his chest and pushed him away, a look of hurt flashing in his eyes for a millisecond before being replaced by worry. maybe he was too bold, maybe you didn't actually want this, maybe maybe maybe. many other possibilities flew around in his mind but before he could get carried away, you spoke up, speaking words he never thought he would ever hear from your mouth.

"are you sure you want me, you want this?" you whispered uncertainly, voice shaking with emotion as you looked anywhere but at semi. semi, confused on where this was coming from, sat up and then pulled you with him, sitting at the edge of the bed and pulling you into his lap where he could watch your side profile even if you tried to hide your face.

"what do you mean, dove?" he questioned, wanting to get to the bottom of this sudden hesitation from you.

"i- i just mean like-" you spoke, pausing every few words because you weren't sure if you were ready to share the sudden flash of insecurity you felt. "you could have anybody you wanted, literally anyone at all, so why choose me?"

"are you kidding?" semi questioned incredulously, almost throwing his head back and laughing at the question though refraining before he could tell you were serious about it and he didn't want to give you any reason to get mad at him or leave. "look at you, dove, you're the most beautiful woman on the planet, nothing can change my mind about this fact."

"no i'm not, i'm really just average, there are so many more beautiful women out there," you responded, playing with your fingers in embarrassment at the conversation you two were having.

"hey, no, look at me," semi spoke, cupping your cheek and tilting your face up to look at him, his thumb gently tugging at your bottom lip to pull it out from between your teeth. "are you listening?" you nodded at his question, albeit shyly. "good. the first time i ever laid eyes on you, you stole my breath away. i couldn't believe someone as beautiful as you could ever exist. but it felt wrong to think of you in that way despite you being a legal adult. but now, you're here in my arms and i wouldn't change anything for the world. let me show you the love i feel for you in my heart, please beautiful." semi finished in a whisper, forehead dropping forward to rest against your own. you sighed at the admission, truly feeling the sincerity in his voice.

instead of answering, you leaned up and pressed your lips to his, arms moving to wrap around his neck as you kissed. with semi not moving from his seated position, you carefully shifted your own position so that you were straddling his lap, your lips not leaving his own as the musician deepened the kiss, licking at your bottom lip to gain entrance to your mouth. you granted him the access he desired.

as the kiss deepened, you rolled your hips, moaning at the friction you feel against your clothed cunt. semi let's out a hiss, pulling back from the kiss to watch your eyes roll back at the feeling of his growing erection. he loved this side of you, a side only he would ever get to see as he vowed to ruin you for anyone else. as you lost yourself in pleasure, semi carefully lifted your shirt over your head, his own shirt following yours onto the ground.

"you're so beautiful," semi murmured, taking in the sight of you, shirtless, before him. a blush bloomed on your face as semi fiddled with the clasps of your bra, unhooking it and watching as a little more of you was revealed. semi groaned at the sight, he couldn't help it, you were just so beautiful, so tempting. semi stood up, almost so suddenly you would've fallen had you not had the quick reflexes to wrap your legs around his waist.

semi was quick to throw you onto the bed and then climb on top of you, using his forearms on either side of your head to bare most of his weight. with this new position, he couldn't help the groan that escaped him at the sight of you beneath him. with one arm, he started to fiddle with your pants, causing you to giggle and help take your shorts off, with his being quick to follow. with the hand that had pulled off your shorts and fishnets, he cupped your warm cunt in his hand causing a moan to slip from your lips and grind down on his hand, wanting to feel friction against your pussy. semi watched your reactions, loving the fact that it was him that made you react this way, it was him that you were currently under. all those years of thinking he wasn't good enough, that he didn't deserve any love went out the window the moment you had first moaned for him.

without any warning, semi dragged a finger along your sopping slit and then inserted a finger into your hole, almost coming on the spot at the beautiful moan of pleasure that left your lips. you really were so reactive to him, evident by the way you were clenching around his finger. you gave another moan of pleasure as he curled his finger inside you, mouth falling open in pleasure when he added a second finger. this had you absolutely creaming around his fingers, a sign you were close to coming. with a few more thrusts, he pulled his fingers from your dripping hole, smirking at the whine you let out as he moved his hand up to lick his fingers clean of you, eyes closing in pleasure at just how sweet you tasted. it was better than he ever could've imagined, you were better than he ever could've imagined.

"you feel and taste so good, angel," semi murmured before he leaned forward to give you a sweet kiss on the lips. "but however pretty you may look coming on my fingers, you'll look even better coming on my cock."

"mm whatever you want, eita-san," you murmured, slowly opening your eyes to look up lovingly at the man before you.

"good girl," he murmured, kissing the side of your lips before rolling off you in order to reach into a drawer on the nightstand next to his side of the bed. you whined at the loss of his warmth before you rolled over as well, landing on top of him so you were straddling him.

"no need for that," you murmured upon realizing what he might be grabbing, reaching over to hold his hand in yours, fingers naturally intertwining. "m' on the pill. want to feel you, no barriers."

semi cursed softly at your admission, groaning at the feeling of you grinding down on him before he was quick to roll you both over so he was again hovering over you. "do you have any idea what you do to me?" he whispered against your lips, hands still clasped together as his other hand trailed from your hip to your thigh, prying open your thighs so he could drag his painfully hard erection along your soaking slit before entering you slowly, moving in bit by bit to allow you to grow accustomed to his size.

semi wasn't painfully large nor was he unnaturally long. he also wasn't short or small, but rather it felt like you were the lock to his key, you slotted together so perfectly. it was like he was made expressly for you and you for him, it was that perfect. once you'd grown accustomed to his size, you started to squirm beneath him, needing to feel his length move as you clamped down around it. semi couldn't help the chuckle that rumbled his chest and then traveled to yours, giggling at the feeling of the vibrations it gave off against your own chest.

as he started moving, he wrapped your leg around his hip to give him a better angle, allowing him to hit different areas you never even knew you had. you moaned as he continued his pace, head thrown back in pleasure which semi found extremely sexy. it stroked his ego to think of the fact he alone was able to bring this reaction out of you, he alone was able to see the side of you. as he continued pistoning in and out of you, he found you clenching tighter and tighter around him, a sign he came to realize meaning that you were close. with a few pleasurable thrusts, you came undone around him, coming on his cock and arm sling around his neck, moaning beautifully against his neck.

he continued to thrust in and out of you, chasing his own high.

"wanna feel- inside-" you babbled, a groan leaving semi at your words, coming inside you and filling you with his seed. after all, who was he to deny you?

with a final thrust, his collapsed on top of you, his now softened cock still inside you and plugging up your hole, keeping both your and his cum inside you.

"so good f'me," semi murmured, peppering soft kisses against your neck that caused you to giggle. "can i make a confession?"

exposing more of your neck to him, you spoke up breathlessly, a quiet yes slipping between your lips as you started to drag your fingers through his hair, pulling softly at his his hair each time he kissed an especially sensitive spot.

"i'm in love with you, have been since i first laid eyes on you," he murmured, looking up into your now wide eyes before softly kissing you on the lips.

"i think i'm in love with you too," you whispered against his lips, a moan surfacing after your words as you felt his teeth digging into a rather sensitive spot on your neck as if in response to your submission.

"then marry me?" semi questioned, causing your eyes to shoot open as you stared at him with wide eyes.

"b- but you're still married," you sputtered. "and what about your fans? and aiko? and what about-"

"shh," semi murmured, silencing you with a finger to your lips. "i'm in the process of getting a divorce, it's just been taking a long while because that woman has been refusing to meet with our lawyers. my fans don't need to know anything, you will be my secret, i don't want to share you with anyone. as for aiko, we can talk to her if you wish, however she has said she approves of us so long as i don't hurt you, which i could honestly never do. you're too precious to me, i could never see myself hurting you, angel."

"so she threatened you, too, huh?" you murmured, almost to yourself though semi was able to just barely catch your words, a laugh escaping him as he realized aiko had used the same threat for both of them. "relax, i want this, i want you, and nothing will stop me from getting you. i will even chase you to the ends of the earth if i must."

"i want you too, eita-san," you whispered, pulling him down to connect your lips and his in a passionate and heated kiss. if he wasn't carefully, his softening cock would surely become erect again, especially considering your current intimacy. he was, after all, still inside you.

"so then do you accept?" semi questioned happily, peppering kisses from the corner of your lips to your neck where he gave you a fresh hickey.

"i do accept," you responded, a moan escaping your lips as he continued to leave hickeys along your neck.

needless to say, that night was very...busy, though aiko had been none the wiser to what was going on because true to his word, semi had in fact soundproofed his room.

it wasn't until the next day that aiko found out about the proposal, not that you or semi had said anything about it. if it hadn't of been for the large rock on your left ring finger, she would've been left in the dark until you and semi had decided to break the news to her. but the moment she saw the ring, she let out a high pitched screech which had alerted you and semi to her presence as she rushed from the doorway of the kitchen to your side where you sat on the island, not even taking notice of the fact you wore a large shirt that belonged to semi that covered your shorts.

"you- my dad- he- i- you- when-" she stuttered, picking up your hand as she studied the ring on your finger.

you and semi simply shared a loving look over her head, both of you smiling softly as semi responded that you'd made it official last night. if aiko had seen that look, she might've walked out of the kitchen in mock disgust, however her attention was too focused on the ring.

"actually, aiko," you spoke up softly, watching as your best friend continued staring at your ring. "we were hoping you would keep this a secret between the three of us."

"of course, but do you mind if i ask why?" aiko questioned, finally taking her eyes off the ring to look between you and her father.

"we have three reasons," semi responded, continuing to make breakfast for the three of you. "the first being that i'm still not divorced yet, so if she was to get word of this, she could use this to get even more undeserved attention."

"yeah, that sounds like something she'd do," aiko muttered under her breath.

"the second reason being my manager would have a fit," semi continued as if aiko hadn't spoken. "he was adamant on my keeping up my image of being a happily married man with a happy family. however recent events have persuaded him to allow my divorce and now he wants to sell me as a recently divorced bachelor with a kid to appeal to...other crowds. or something, i don't entirely understand what goes through his twisted mind."

"what a questionable manager you have," aiko muttered, moving to sit beside you on the island to read your twitter feed over your shoulder.

"the final reason is because, well, i don't want to share y/n with anyone," semi finished, sending you a loving look to which you blushed at, aiko silently gagging beside you.

aiko was quick to hop down from the island when she noticed semi walking towards you. she really didn't want to be in the room when you guys started kissing, that was a sight she would much rather live without so she stole a piece of toast from the plate semi had set the finished pieces on before she headed out to the dining room, calling over her shoulder for them to hurry up with their lovey-dovey shit so they could eat.

semi responded with a comment for her to be patient as he stood between your thighs, hands resting on the island countertop beside your thighs to cage you in and give you a kiss. you giggled into the kiss, arms flying around his neck to pull him closer to you, chest to chest as he moved his hands from the island to your ass, pulling you to the edge of the counter to pull you flush against him, tilting his head slightly to deepen the kiss. before the kiss could get any more explicit, you pulled back slightly, giggling as semi tried to chase your lips, though you kept pulling back, always barely out of his reach so that you could catch your breath.

"aiko's waiting for us, let's go eat," you whispered to a playfully annoyed semi who refused to allow you to move from his hold.

"she can wait, i cannot," semi growled, eyes narrowing at you as you continued to giggle.

"the food will get cold," you responded, not backing down. "besides, we can continue this after breakfast when my best friend isn't in the room next door."

"i agree, listen to her," aiko called from the dining room that sat adjacent to the kitchen. "besides, i'm starving so hurry up dad."

"what a cockblock," semi muttered as he pulled away, causing you to burst into laughter as you hop down from the island, collecting plates and cutlery that you would need for your breakfast while semi trailed behind with the food, all the while muttering about how he'd pay aiko back, just she wait.

the rest of that morning passed into afternoon where aiko soon left the house to meet with her boyfriend, leaving the newly engaged couple to continue what had been started in the kitchen.

needless to say, that summer break passed in a blur and you were reluctant to part ways with semi for another four months, the only thing pushing you to go being the promise of your secret marriage happening during winter break, as well as the promise of a spot in semi's bands dance group so you could travel with him during tours after you graduated in a semester.

#dilf semi eita #rockstar semi eita #semi eita #dilf eita #dilf semi #eita smut #semi eita smut #haikyuu!!#haikyuu smut #haikyuu x reader #eita x reader #semi x reader #semi eita x reader #— ღ valwrites ꕥ #˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ semi eita

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