#<- its this :). i dont use it anymore cause i kept forgetting but it was basically referring to. transcriptions

[bvttoneyes]

"But Daddy I Love Him!" ~ (lip gallagher x fem!reader's version)

sum! "But Daddy I Love Him!" Taylor swift - The Tortured Poets department.

tw! FACEBOOK... toxic family, mention of having a baby, swearing ig (again its shameless)

uhm this is gonna suck! I have no clue what I'm doing! ok days later n the middle/ending is very sloppy i feel like. idk i kinda dont like it.

"I forget how the west was won, I forget if this was ever fun, I just learned these people only raise you to cage you"

You and Lip were fighting again. You hadn't been getting along as much anymore, you were getting closer to your two year mark too.

No one in your family liked the Gallaghers to begin with, so you couldn't complain to your family (siblings, cousins, whoever). The one who disapproved of your relationship the most though? Your father. Your father hated the relationship you had with Lip. He thought he was going to use you for money, your body, etc. He just knew Gallaghers were usually up to something, so he didn't approve of this relationship as soon as you told him.

Except with how much you and Lip were arguing now, it's hard to remember all the fun you would have. It's like a distant memory that you forget was a dream or not.

"Sarah's and Hannah's in their sunday best, Clutching their pearls, Sighing 'What a mess', I just learned these people try and save you ... cause they hate you"

Your family wasn't just rude to him, you as well. It was a bunch of rich snobs, and if something hadn't gone their way then get rid of it.

They hated you for even being in the vicinity of someone 'lesser' than them. Because god forbid you bring normal people into the wretched family of yours. Your cousins and extended family were known to gossip about others in the family, and right now you were the hot topic.

"too high a horse, for a simple girl to rise above it, they slammed the door on my whole world, the one thing I wanted"

It was an accident. Sort of. With how complicated you and Lip were right now you had changed your relationship status to "it's complicated". Not thinking about how public your page is to your very judgemental family. Lip did the same so he wasn't necessarily mad. All of your cousins, aunts, etc. were messaging you asking what happened, trying to get as much information as they could. It was all fine until your dad texted you.

"Come home."

Oh god. You could feel your stomach doing flips inside of you. You knew what he was going to say. 'You need to break up with this boy if it's to the point you're both telling the entire world how complicated your relationship is right now'. You went over there with the full intent to defend yourself and your boyfriend.

"Now I'm running with my dress unbuttoned, Screaming 'But Daddy I Love Him!' I'm having his baby. No, I'm Not, but you should see your faces"

You got to your parents house and your dad started saying the exact things you thought he would.

"If you're sharing your relationship vis-à-vis the internet than I do not think this relationship should go on." Your dad kept repeating this in different wordings time and time again.

"Dad, me and Lip are just arguing like normal couples do. All you do is talk about how I should break up with him and that he is horrible for me." You snap at him, finally.

You continue your rant, "It isn't up to you to decide for me whether my boyfriend is good for me or not. I'm an adult and I can figure my love life out for myself. He has done nothing but be kind to all of you and get on your good side, but all of you are too snobby to understand that!"

You have to take a break to breath.

"I'm having his child. Not now... but eventually." As you said this they're faces were all filled with shock. Some of them had concern written all over there face.

"I'm telling him to floor it through the fences. No, I'm not coming to my senses, I know he's crazy but he's the one I want"

"I know none of you like him, but I see a future with him. But if you never learn to accept none of you will be apart of this future." God, it felt good finally standing up for yourself in front of your family.

Instead of waiting for them you got up and left. Not wanting to here what kind of excuse he's going to make for himself.

"Dutiful daughter, all my plans were laid, tendrils tucked into a woven braid, growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all."

Your way back home had you thinking about your childhood and how you grew up. If there so against difference, and all of your other family is, why were you taught different?

It can't be because of school because you went to school with some family that acts the same as them.

Maybe because you had friends that were in south side? They were friends with the private school's principal and they were able to get in free of cost. You would go over to their house sometimes and it wasn't a huge clean house in a nice pretty neighborhood. Maybe that's why you weren't born to be a horrible person and you actually got to learn about people who weren't as lucky as you.

Which also means from a young age you were already more mature than your entire family.

"He was chaos, he was revelry, Bedroom eyes like a remedy."

You got back to the house and saw Lip on the couch. You went inside and sat next to him. At first he didn't say anything to you. Until he couldn't just not speak.

"Where'd you go?" He mutters, not looking at you still.

"Parents." You answer him almost instantly, looking at him.

He nods, knowing what this is about.

"So, they knock some sense in ya? You dumping me?" He rubs his face and the looks at you.

You snicker, "You must know absolutely nothing about me if you think I'm listening to my parents?"

He smiles and chuckled (i'm thinking of the lil breath through the nose laugh that no one knows what to call...) he knew how stubborn you were when it came to your parents.

"Soon enough the elders had convened, down at the city hall, 'stay away from her', the saboteurs protested too much"

Your family had been trying to text you. Some to apologize, some to try to talk out out of being mad, some to get gossip, the others still trying to get you to break up with him.

Your father had compared you to a '"rebelling teenager" because of how you're acting? You and Lip had stopped arguing for now.

Every time they reached out to him to talk to you through him, he would tell them to stop, "leave her alone", or block them. He was sick of how they treated you and him too.

Almost all of your family was blocked now, because they all decided to text you. The only people you couldn't bring yourself to block were your parents. Even though they were the ones laying it on the strongest. Your mom kept apologising but your dad was saying the same things as before.

"Lord knows the words we never heard, Just screeching tires and true love"

God this whole situation felt like a movie or a taylor swift song. It was ridiculous. Everyone's actions were childish and obnoxious.

You and Lip haven't been arguing in a while, because your attention was on other things at the moment. You two had actually been more romantic. You both have put your status back to normal. Yet, nothing in your life was back to normal.

"I'll tell you something right now, I'd rather burn my whole life down, Than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning"

This had been going on for over a month now. It was just annoying and obnoxious now. Lip knew you defended him and this is why this is still going on. No doubt about this. Except now he was having to deal with you being: bitchy, exhausted, or just annoyed.

It was affecting him now, and he was starting to get pissed.

"I'll tell you something about my good name, it's mine alone to disgrace, I don't cater to all these vipers dressed in empaths clothing"

"Your parents have been talking to Frank about us. Frank was asking me about you." Lip said through gritted teeth and a scowl, he had been walking inside while I said that.

You roll your eyes and respond in an almost whiny voice, "Please tell me your joking. They have gone way too far with this. First they tell my entire family and now they start on yours?"

"God save the judgemental creeps, Who say they want what's best for me, Sanctimoniously performing soliloquies I'll never see"

The texts were all the same from your mom and dad.

"We just want what's best for you, and he isn't it!" They would say. Over. And over.

It was so repetitive, you had to block them. Not everywhere just where they would text you the most.

"Thinking it can change the beat of my heart when he touches me, And counteract chemistry, And undo the destiny"

I swear if you never had met him, which your not upset about meeting him, your parents wouldn't complain to you all the time. But oh well. There's a very real possibility they would have done this with anyone who you ended up with, seeing as how everyone they would try and set you up with was not your type.

Since this has been happening, your family would always have witty remarks like: "I'll keep you in my prayers" or "I'm thinking of you"

"You ain't gotta pray for me, Me and my wild boy, and all this wild joy."

When were they going to realize that he made you happy. You liked loved being with him. He was your wild boy. Yours. For no one to take.

"If all you want is gray for me, Then it's just white noise, And it's my choice"

Being with him wasn't there choice to make, it was yours. You just had to blur out all the background noise that meant nothing to you.

"There's a lot of people in town that I, Bestow upon my fakest smiles, Scandal does funny things to pride, But brings lovers closer"

Instead of biting back, you played nice. They would would say something rude and you would respond with a smile. All of the fighting only made you and Lip begin to grow closer to each other.

Their bickering with you about him, was backfiring. Big time.

Your parents saw this. They then saw how you looked at eachother. Realised you went to war for each other. Defending each other to your parents. It made them think a little longer.

"We came back when the heat died down, Went to my parents and they came around, All the wine moms are still holding out, But Fuck 'em, it's over"

Your parents had asked you over again. There wasn't anymore fighting online for a couple of weeks now, but you still went over there with the full intent of defending yourselves.

When they started apologising though you were skeptical at first until you saw the genuine look. They meant the apology. They didn't just apologise for what they said, but the actions they had on social media, how they brought the family into it.

"I was being a hypocrite," Your father had explained, "You were talking about your issues on the internet and then I went and did the same things to the both of you, as well as involving other people when it was unnecessary. I sincerely apologise."

Lip had a subtle smirk on his face, only you and his family could recognise.

You both had thanked him for apologizing, none of your other family had apologized though.

"Now I'm dancing in my dress in the sun and, Even my daddy just loves him, I'm his lady, and oh my God, You should see your faces"

Your parents were now very fond of Lip, praising him consistently. Your mother called him handsome. Your father realised how bright he was. Most of all they realised how good the two of you were for each other and how much he loves you.

"No you can't come to the wedding, I know he's crazy but he's the one I want"

You were at your family's annual gathering when one of your cousins came over to the two of you, "So when's your wedding?"

You laughed, "If and when it happens it will solely be immediate family and some friends that will be invited. The ones who actually care about us, ya know?"

[x-galactic-star-x]

i just imagine a small idea with Cayde

this is gonna be a little messy but bear with me

also this is gonna be sad so just saying

mention of dying

Stuck together

lets say, you are dying. you followed Cayde wven tho you dont have a light as he had to got to the one place where exos are born and broken.

he went with Banshee to discover sometging and you sneaked after them.

they got surprise Vex attacked and cause they didnt tought that you were there they didnt planned to hwar someone beinf shot at and injured badly.

you are no guardian, you dont have any other chance, or resurect. you have one life.

he hated this. he was actually mad at you but the worry was stronfer as he held you.

Banshee evwn as he was forgetful he kbow what he doing most of the time, as he told them there is a chance to save you.

you might not like it but there is no time to loose.

as they ran around the place Banshee found the machine that could help.. but the problem is, there isnt any functional shall nearby and the closes to them might be way too far and it would be too late to get.

while you are slowly loosing sight and concousness Cayde lied you down on the table..

then everything went dark with the voice of Cayde and Banshee yelling..

suddenly you wake up.. gasping. . where are you? what happene? why is it so cold? is it cold? warm? you dont know and as you looked around you saw a guy with spikes on his head.. it feels like you know him.. he's talking to you.

he telling you to breath.. breath? ok ok breath.. but then you looked down.

wait

this isnt your legs.. you slowly turn around and saw.. you.. on the table.. with weird helmet with a lot of vires on your head.

but.. what? you look down and you slowly realize..

"CAYDE?? WHAT? What happened to me??!?" you shouted in a panic as Banshee tried to calm you down.

"kiddo i need you to listen to me-"

he tried but cling to your gear.. Cayde's gear.. fuck how did this happened??

"Hey hey hey. listen to me sweetheart-" you gasped as you backes away into the corner of the room and curled up in a ball. you can hear Cayde..

"Listen... its all right ok? Banshee have everything under control. we managed to save you, ok?" he spoke in your head as you tried to catch your breath.. even tho you dont exactly need it anymore but its a comfort..

"listen.. we will fix this we will help you but for now you suck.. with me.. and in my body." you want ro cry.. but you cant ahed tears.. not anymore.. you want him near.. but he is near he's literally with you.. but you want his arms around you... like it was used to be..

"Cayde.. im.. this is wrong.."

"i had to save you somehow.."

"i want you here.."

"im right here."

"you know what i mean."

".. i know sweetheart.. i know.."

you felt your body goes numb as all you can do is watch.. as he took control.

"we'll fix this.. i swear."

______________________

i would say it would be the same as uploading an exo mint to another, and honestly i just imagined that as a human you would be 100% be rly panicky if you are suddenly in the same body as your lover/best friend..

and the lonely feeling about wanting to bw in their arms but you cant.. cause you are in the same body.. but its just not the same.

he wont be able to play with your hair or mess it up like he used to and he cant rly cuddle up with you until you get your own body..

my brain just kept imagining someone else panicing in Cayde body as they freaking out being in his body and controlling it.. like it felt wrong. that its not them.

but anyway, enjoy this idea, i dunno if i should take credit of it cuz im sure someone else tought about this idea already

tootles❤️♠️

[gideongrovel]

ramble ramble

ya know its kinda funny like the last time i was trying to get back into o.nepiece was in like 2016 ish? and i stopped around t.hrillerbark,,,, couldnt tell ya why,,, just lost steam to keep going,,, but i dont think me in 2016 would of shipped with B.rook,,,, so i like to think me in the present day sent out brainwaves telling me of 2016 to stop and wait till the right time,,,, 👁️👄👁️

Up until now current day, Z.oro was my main f/o from the anime,,,,,, and back in 2016 when i was getting into the series again I did make some art, sadly i didnt move it from my old laptop to my new one since i didnt think id care,,,, so its gone forever 😓 but its fine- not that serious,,,(/gen) since it was only like 2 pieces done over those d.eviantart bases, which is why i didnt save em to my new laptop 💀 although i do have selfship art with him from like 2010ish? in my old sketchbooks, and when i was a kid i also shipped with V.ivi tho i dont remember if i ever drew any art of us together or not 🤔 i just remember drawing her alot in general,,😅 but i KNOW i have at least regular fanart from when i was like ages 9 or 10 ish that i kept, and i can remember how goofy it looked 💀 its all in an old storage tub tho i would have to dig through it to find any of em,,,,, maybe some other day I will go through it cause ya boy doesnt have the spoons for that anytime soon since like that tub has like almost all my art from like ages 9-18 ish and i will get sidetracked 💀 also id get distracted from other selfship art I drew from around then,,, since i can remember of some just off the top of my head,,, and I dont wanna reminisce on characters i dont ship with anymore 😅

-

also unrelated to shipping but getting back into the o.nepiece has me feeling nostalgic overall and reminded me how i had a C.hopper messenger bag i used in mid/highschool for my backpack, which I would of never thought about again till now, I still have my other old merch around my room so i didnt forget that, but i havent seen that bag in years, so i forgor about it 😅

[grub-talk]

Coughs

All offense but yall are typing shit out of your ass. Don't play the "Oh i looked up to you" or " I kept you at arms length" I'm sorry but you're throwing and pinning this all on me because your friend was lying and you don't want to actually hold them accountable. This dude have neglected, avoided me and made me think I was the issue when I tried to communicate any flaws we had during our relationship. [ Which, note, they also admitted this TO MY FUCKING FRIEND.] Whatever they fucking skewed or try to blame me on, they neither have communicated it with me or brought it up AT ALL, and even if they did; they used it against me TO HURT ME. I've always been upfront about my problems to you and my friends and if there is actually ANY point you're trying to come across, its not hitting the end goal here. You've seen how emotionally distressed I was, and if there is any thought of actually being genuine and honest with how my actions coudlve been viewed. None of yall did anything about it but said "learn self respect, learn self love" and even RELATED to me on what I was going through. You're fucked for being two faced cunts. I came to YOU for help, I MADE EFFORTS. But im not gonna sit there and let them treat me that fucking way. Its fucked how all of you guys are attacking me and using your good deeds, WHICH BTW, doesnt make your points anymore foul than what it actually is. It does not make you a good person. Thank you for having HUMAN DECENCY to try and help me when I was at my lowest and was considering to fucking end my life, I understand me being thrown into a bad mania episode had left me doing some deplorable behavior. WHICH I DO ADMIT, COULDVE BEEN HANDLE BETTER but your friend still was a piece of shit to me and said really hurtful things and done shit before we've broken up. Which you know, I wish I didn't fucking excuse and forced myself to let them keep doing it to me. DRAWING yourself killing me, calling me a black hole and claiming ive "taken" everything from them, when I have spent so much of my energy and fucking time to love and adore them. I wanted them to make sure they know that they are loved because I was so blind to believe they where an actual nice person. Hell, I went to a whole ass different COUNTRY just to meet them, only for them to be on their phone 24/7 saying they felt "rushed" when I told them about this planned trip SINCE SEPTEMBER. WHICH THEY COULDVE AT ANY POINT SAID "No thank you" oh yeah are we gonna forget they barely communicated about those plans too? Which they slapped that shit onto their friends and made them deal with it? Yes, thank you for inviting me, Kashi. I am so fucking embarrassed that everything came down to this point. I do bare so many regrets on every going because not you, or your room mates had to deal with the embarrassing tension that my ex and I gone through. It still eats me up everytime I think about it, cause its fucking disgusting and I never wanted to go home so fucking bad. Only to find out literally TWO DAYS AGO they've actually stolen OC'S that I praised them on making. Which, my other friends can fucking CONFIRM they claimed it was their art. Get the fuck out. Also, me not wanting them to have a new partner??? FELLA, what are you BULLSHITTING ABOUT. you're grasping at LITERAL STRAWS here. No one gives a FUCK about who they are dating. Least not with me? I don't care about their partner, whatever was exchanged between Evan and my Ex[ Their ex also.] had ZERO of my influence there if rather or not they will actually go to them about it. They told me they where gonna confront them, so they did. Im proud of them for even talking about this PUBLICLY. So DONT YOU DARE PIN THAT SHIT AGAINST ME. IDGAF ABOUT THEIR CURRENT SIGNIFICANT OTHER. WHATEVER THEY DO IS NOT MY BUSINESS. I'm thankful enough I have people who love me. You are deflecting and making yourselves even more stupid than I have thought. Im sorry but no one gives a FUCK about their current partner, youre going off the main point shows how actually blinded you are.

Also PLEASE shut the fuck up about stalking, literally all you guys ever done was do the SAME EXACT SHIT. Why where you on my toyhouse profile, why where you visting my tumblr, WHY where you on MY twitter account? I'm sorry no one gives a fuck about whos stalking who, you said it for yourself you fucking idiot. Its made public so therefore PEOPLE WILL SEE IT. MY FRIENDS CAN SEE IT, I CAN SEE IT. I am fully aware that what I post is public too and will eventually be seen, THATS FINE. OH YEAH, BY THE WAY, I HAVENT EVEN FUCKING VISITED YOUR PROFILE EVER SINCE OUR LAST DISCUSSION! I was hellbent on not checking anyones accounts. I was hellbent on moving on with the idea of ignorance is bliss. IVE ONLY WENT ON BECAUSE I FOUND OUT WHO THE REAL ARTIST WAS!!! I spent fucking time deleting and separating the character to find the signature, looked them up and BOOM. IT WAS YOUR EX?? the main issue here is that your friends A FUCKING LIAR. " My partner left me because of Hazbin" No you fucking idiot I left you because you're where making me run through hoops to try and FIX things that WHERE OUT OF MY CONTROL. Don't you dare ignore that I havent made actual efforts while you sat there doing fuck all nothing. And btw, i'm not the only person youve done this too and said "oh idk what to do" WE KEEP FUCKING TELLING YOU WHAT TO DO. Holy shit YOU'RE ALL SO FUCKING STUPID!! I SWEAR!!! ACTUALLY THINK FOR YOURSELVES, I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH YOU ALL CIRCLE JERK EACH OTHER OFF. Literally SO OVER THIS.

[vociferans]

so uh. Funny stuff kinda been happenin. apparently a couple friends admitted that i was basically rizzing everyone around me simply by existing ever since the first day of school ?????

and then a close friend told me (as well as the opinions of several others since the first day of school AND LIKE. SMTH I PERSONALLY NOTICED AS WELL) is that he naturally just excudes a lot of charm and charisma

BUT WHEN. WE'RE IN THE SAME PLACE FACING EACH OTHER ALL THAT RIZZ GOES OUT THE WINDOW. LIKE WE'RE FINE WHEN ONE IS TURNED AWAY. BUT THE MOMENT EYE CONTACT IS ESTABLISHED BOOM.

RIZZLESS. SUDDENLY FORGETS HOW TO SAY ANYTHING EVER AND CANT EVEN BE NORMAL FOR A SIMPLE SECOND

both sides have thought that the other was a player since we've both been confessed to by other ppl and we p much had the same responses to those, ignoring and/or dodging, because we dont rlly wanna address those stuff, AND WHENEVER ONE OF US GETS CLOSE TO THE OTHER, THE OTHER PERSON ENDS UP DRAWING AWAY AND ITS JUST DHAJDHJJSH LOWKEY TERRIBLE

both of us have felt incredibly ecstatic and broken hearted and depressed and jealous and erratic and ridiculous based on how we interact with others, and how we've both thought that the other was interested in someone else, or that the other person was just leading them on, or that we were just playing with each other's feelings. No we're just confusing as hell LOL

cause our classroom and i think ppl from other sections have known and/or are starting to know that He has a crush on someone in class, and that *I* very obviously had one as well but have gotten more lowkey about it, however they dont know who exactly we were crushing on, which meant we were unintentionally giving mixed signals to everyone we accidentally glanced at while lookin for each other HHSAHS

SO ANYWAY I KINDA ADMITTED SMTH TODAY AFTER I SMACKED HIM WITH A CLEAR FOLDER OVER HIS HEAD (but i made sure he wasnt actually hurt) AND THEN IMMEDIATELY APOLOGIZED FOR IT

and i said. "it's not that i don't like you" LIKE WHAT KINDA TSUNDERE ASS VBDIQNHEKW FIRST I PUNCHED HIM OUT OF EXCITEMENT AFTER OUR INTRAMS DANCE WHILE HE WAS WAITING FOR ME WHEN WE EXITED, AND THEN YESTERDAY WHEN WE WERE ALMOST ALONE TOGETHER (there were two other ppl unfortunately which made me feel INCREDIBLY AWKWARD) I JUST. SMACKED HIM. WITH MY FOLDER OF NOTES. WHY

AND THEN APOLOGIZED WITH *THAT* LINE IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL YHINGS LJKE AJEKQOQHRQODHOWWJQODJKE

what kind of damn tropey ass. romance series is this like. Several people have described all this painful pining and longing as like some kinda kdrama or rlly cheesy ass fanfic BC LIKE. THERES ALSO THE INTERPERSONAL DRAMA BETWEEN THE FACT THAT SEVERAL PPL HAVE CRUSHES ON BOTH OF US SEPARATELY. AND THERES SEVERAL OF EM THAT ARE IN OUR OWN CLASS SO ITS LIKE

THAT WAS LITERALLY THE REASON WHY NEITHER HIM OR I PROPERLY MADE A MOVE BC WE KNEW OUR FRIENDS OR ACQUAINTANCES LIKED THE OTHER PERSON AND WE DIDNT WANNA IMPOSE BUT NOW I THINK WE'VE BOTH DISREGARDED THAT ENTIRELY LIKE

we both dont care abt what others have to say anymore we just wanna be togetehfbwjbrje2nr

BUT WE HAVE HORRIBLE TIMING TOO BC JUST TODAY THERE WAS A SCHOOL ANNOUNCEMENT ABT BEING STRICTLY AGAINST PDA WHICH MEANT. NO HOLDING HANDS AND NO KISSING AND LIKE. DAMN. DAMNIT. IM LITERALLY LIKE VERY AFFECTIONATE WITH MY FRIENDS

its to the point where ppl often mistake me for a lesbian or bi or Something bc im very close and hug my friends often and hold their hands n all and been told SEVERAL TIMES THAT I LOOKED LIKE MY FRIENDS' BOYFRIEND LOL

SO ANYWAYS. THE ANNOUCEMENT SAID THAT, "TRUE LOVE WAITS" AND I LITERALLY WJWKABSU when that was announced in class i had Such an obvious WHAT reaction and kept joking abt it for the rest of the day whenever i hung out with my friends and when i first read it in amusement and Lowkey like. Disappointment? He was there watching my expression and his friends teased him abt it too

ajgsjqhajsj i would talk abt all the similarities we have with each other and how he planned somethin that we've both been rlly lookin forward to but i havwnt eaten dinner yet bc when i went home i just fell asleep IMMEDIATELY and im hungry LOL

anyway i hope he asks me out tomorrow otherwise ill just be the one who'll do it directly on friday even if its while everyone else is in class bc i absolutely REFUSE to end this week without any weekend plans or confirmed date i absolute refuse and both of us have been anxiously lookin forward to one, and both of us have been incredibly restless about it for like several weeks so it HAS to happen, like both of our respective friend groups and the ones we share have literally been tryin SO hard to give us several opportunities to show off the other person and like get the other to confess OR LIKE FOR US TO PROPERLY TALK SO AHDMAHRPQHEPQHROQBRKQK

[scarletts-nsfw]

13/10/2197

walked down a narrow hallway located amidst a crumbling once great city. I walk upon the dark vestiges of a dead utopia. War machine's passing through the reddish smog filled sunlight. When last did humans screw up so bad? I saw posters and the sky was blue? Old world maps talk about countries but i have no idea what they mean? Humans ALWAYS have a reason for death. Only divided sectors remain. The sector's have a pre war purpose but we use the walls for safety against the hostile populous from outside. I reside in sector SW A113C and i will die defending it with Sargent Callahan as my witness. My life is but to produce crops in a greenhouse up north for the colonies. Outside the walls there re is evidence of war. Highways with older personal transportation choke up the forgotten infrastructure. Semi painted former luxury vehicles. Something they used to call police. We only have the councilors now. A group of cyborgs from the old world. Some born before the 2000s. Those times looked unpleasant but the sky was still blue and i didnt need a chem suit to breath outside the zones. Let alone masks. I scavange further in the forgotten ruins. To think this once once a centralised hub for commerce and exchange, we only trade now. Ive been keeping what they called "money" as a souvenir from each place i visit. They have faces in the middle. Only the old admirals know knows. One has a name that spoke to me. Lincoln. Maybe he is related to a music thingy i have. A Lincoln park. I also have a name but i haven't heard of any other Ezra McMurray's yet. Guess my ancestors were also never in any famous things.

14/10/2197

Been scavenging for more Cooper. A113C mine 14 isn't producing much anymore. And if we can't build new walls around a building or it's too damaged and unstratigic we take the furniture. Then the copper. I traded in my old hauler for a smaller one and a claim. An old residential block. One story. Pointy roof and another car inside. It has large tires and the paint is oxidised but intact. A rare find. I can finally afford new augmentations. Thus securing my future of a unending lifespan. Raiders and afflicted will fear me now! Ive also found a old personal entertainment device. Written upon it is a name. Apple. The cyborgs tell me a "samsung" is better. I dont pay attention to the names because im only here for the recourses. I don't bother with the fridge. Take the car and copper and now im writing this in excitement for all the rations i will be provided.

16/10/2197 happy birthday Ezra! Old ripe age of 19! Survival of this age is rare. However ive taken General Nakariakov`s advice and kept the phone. He offered to show me what it does. Its all useless but interesting. The history people will melt in excitement that i found a working relic amongst ruins of identical housing within those smaller walled off squares. They used wood, weirdos. No way that wards off explosives. But i found a image so horrendous and threatening. It reminded me of the attack on the fringe colony's.

Dice with Ellen.

What in the spirits!? This figure scares me. Is it what caused all of this to happen? Is this... person the reason the earth became empty?

10/24/2197

Ive been thinking. Why did the old world look up to those scary figures? Where they threteand to like her? Was she a tyrant ruler like the old ones? I cant keep it out of my head. Ive killed so many yet her face was the only one to convey such a feeling inside me. Guilt, perhaps disappointed in me. A smile i use to get out of being taken hostage. Im glad i sold the cube thing. Tho the pages are running out and my time is short. A113c does not stop consuming. I'll try to forget about that face.

I have to

It’s time to roll the dice… with Ellen!

[potatoindespair]

My dad makes it incredibly difficult to forget why I have anxiety and depression. So far he's been texting me every night to check up on me, but whenever I want to complain about something little or bring up something relating to my anxiety, he makes it an opportunity to tell me why I shouldn't be feeling that way.

He's making it increasingly harder to stay on good terms with him when I dont even want to talk to him anymore because of the way he always responds. All I'd like is just a little bit of empathy but he always turns it into a lecture.

I tell him of my stress when the realtor comes over; he responds with "Suck it up. You gotta meet with people for this job." I tell him about how no one chose to talk to me at this new church; he responds with "I know you don't like to, but you need to strike up conversations too."

Even a couple days ago, with talking about emojis and emoticons, he didn't even want to take into consideration my preferences and tells me I shouldn't use emoticons when talking with him. I know that conversation was in jest, but the conversation only came to be only after I told him my room wasn't messy like he thought it would be and he said "Oh right, I guess it hasn't been long enough for you to have messed it up yet."

I really tried not to take that conversation to heart by including emoticons, but he completely side stepped the issue by talking about the emoticons instead. I dont think he even realizes how much it hurts me that he has such a low perceived expectation of me. I wanted this move to do something different with my life. I wanted to grow and get better. But his words only tell me that he doesn't think I can change.

No matter what I do, I dont think I can get my own father to see me different. He's never had confidence in me. Even when in school he always voiced his thoughts about me potentially not graduating.

I told myself I would never have to post here again.

But instead I always come back to vent to no one. Its why I never told my dad until years after my depression started that he was the cause of it all. And even after writing down all the things he has inadvertently said and done to me and letting him read it for himself, he finds my words too harsh on him for calling him emotionally abusive.

My heart aches so much. I can't even ask him to stop or call him out for his behavior because I'm afraid I'll just be gaslighted again. I can't bring it up with my mom because she will definitely bring it up with my dad and then he'll want to talk to me about not wanting to bring it up directly with him, and then get gaslighted.

I never know how he'll respond to the things I say, yet I know exactly how he'll respond at the same time. He likes to be right. He likes to think everything is as simple as just doing. He doesn't understand how debilitating it is for me to have this mental disability and for him to just brush it aside.

And lastly, he's put me in this box of forever unchanging. This box labeling me as forever a messy person, forever someone who can't take care of themselves, forever a person that needs someone to constantly tell them what to do.

He didn't believe in me when I told him I had plans on going into the military. He kept bringing up and reminding me that military was meant to degrade you and break you down just to build you back up. And that was exactly why I wanted it, but he didn't think I could handle it with my depression and anxiety.

What he doesn't understand is, a stranger saying terrible stuff to me doesn't hurt nearly as much as someone who is supposed to love me saying terrible stuff to me. When a stranger tells you you can never be something greater, its easy to remind yourself that this person doesn't actually know you. But when someone who has known you your whole life tells you you can never be something greater, it tears you up because this person is supposed to love you and want you to become something greater.

He ends his texts telling me he loves me, and I do love him back, but its really hard to feel his love when he does this to me. This is why I feel so awfully alone now that I dont have Max.

I knew he loved me, and he supported me so well. I ended up taking his advice over my dad's at times and I know he didn't understand why.

Its times like these I really wish I could be someone different. Someone not in a box of predetermined outcomes.

I hate nights like this where I end up crying myself to sleep.

[lukeevangelista]

lie to me (pt 2) - brendan brisson

ITS HERE!! this was requested by a few of you for a pt2!

this is pt 2 to what @bitchinbarzal originally requested!!

if you haven’t read part 1, here it is!! make sure you read it first or this won’t make sense lmao

don’t forget my requests are STILL OPEN!! i have a couple of requests to post in the next couple of days, plus some ideas of my own!!

———————————————————————————

“you wanted to see me?” you asked you walked in the house that brendan lived in, not even bothering to knock, “where is he?” you asked once more, seeing jacob, thomas, and matty sitting in the living room, but no brendan.

“we knew you wouldn’t talk to us if we asked.” jacob shrugged as he patted the seat next to him. you rolled your eyes as you sat across the living room.

“what do you want?” you questioned.

“we wanted to explain.”

“i’m listening.” you replied back, “i don’t have all day.” you slightly snapped.

if you were being honest, you didn’t want to be here and you clearly made it known.

“we want to apologize.” thomas started, “we shouldn’t have said anything to brendan about this. he actually did fall for you y/n. he was furious when he came back in.” thomas continued, “i’ve never seen him that angry, ever. and I’ve known him for a long time.” he said.

“we shouldn’t have even made the stupid bet.” jacob stated causing you to cut him off.

“yeah- no shit.” you huffed, crossing your arms across your chest.

jacob fought rolling his eyes, but he kept calm, not wanting to piss you off anymore than you already were, “it was more of a push to get him to ask you out. he’s like you for like, ever.” he finished causing you to raise your eyebrows.

“and he’s not here saying this because?”

“we didn’t even tell him we were going to try to talk to you.”

“because he would try and stop you from making it worse?”

“exactly.” matty replied, “also i wanted to note, i had nothing to do with this.” he said as he raised his hands in surrender, throwing the other boys under the bus causing them to facepalm.

“thanks matty.” thomas said, sarcastically patting his shoulder, “you’ve been so much help.”

“what the fuck are you guys doing?” brendan asked as he entered the house, seeing you sitting in the chair he usually sat in, “please tell me they haven’t said anything stupid.” he begged, “please. i don’t want them making this worse than it already is.” he continued as he crossed over to you, his body blocking your view of the other three boys.

by this point a couple of other boys had filed into the house, their eyes widening as they saw you in front of bren.


“awkward.” luke muttered as he took a jab in the ribs from ethan.

“can we talk?” brendan asked, looking down at you, “please?” he all but begged.

you gave a soft nod, him holding out his hand to help you up. you ignored it as you pushed yourself out of the chair, following him up the stairs to his room.

“by the way, you guys need to clean your house. your shoes are disgusting.” you muttered as you sat on his bed, causing him to roll his eyes.

“i know.” he lightly laughed as he sat in his desk chair, “look, i’m just going to get to the point,” he started, “yes, it did start as a bet, for them. for me, it wasn’t a bet. i really fell for you y/n. i really did.” he said, leaning up, pressing his elbows into his knees, “and you dont have to take me back. or hell, you never have to talk to me again, but. i-i just want you to know how sorry i am, for everything.” he said, “everything i told you while we were together was completely and utterly true. i am in love with you and i have been for the last six months.”

you didn’t know what to say. it was a lot of information, all at once. the silence lingered in the air for a couple of minutes as you just stared at the door, trying to process everything.

“y/n?” he questioned as he got out of his chair, sitting next to you.

“hmm?”

“what are you thinking about?” he asked.

“if you really want to know, i’m thinking about whether i’m going to give you another chance or not.”

“wait- really?” he asked.

“i didn’t say i was bren. you don’t realize how bad that hurt. your friends placed a bet on us brendan. that would make any human feel so shitty.” you stated, him nodding.

“trust me, i know. i chewed them from one end to the other. i had told them months ago it was off and why they brought it up, i’m don’t know and i don’t have an answer, but what i do know is,” he paused as he licked his lips, “if you find it in your heart to give me another chance, you won’t regret it and i’ll continue to prove to you that bet didn’t mean a thing to me.”

“okay.” you agreed, “one shot brisson.”

“wait- are you for real?” he asked, a smile overtaking his face.

you nodded, bracing yourself for the hyper child-like boy. he quickly wrapped you in his arms, tackling you on his bed, pressing kisses to whatever skin you had exposed, “oh my god, thank you.” he whispered against your lips, “i promise you won’t regret this.”

“don’t let me down.”

“i won’t.”

“and one more thing?”

“yeah babe?” he asked, pulling you into his chest as he had adjusted himself against the headboard.

“if you ever lie to me again brendan..”

“yeah, yeah i know.” he said, “don’t worry about that, it’ll never happen again.”

[gam3rsuar5sr3x]

amen. i dont think i might send anymore bible verses cause i dont think i should become a teacher at all cause scripters say the things we teach jesus judge us by strictly and with greater strictness than others.

but i will say that he is real and ill never forget the bible verses i shared.

@metakazkz was one guy i shared it to. hes the one who made the abysstale and moonside comics, of course ill admit i admired him too much to the point of putting his au in my take on dustfell (witch i think i,m at a possablility to quit because i saw a video on judgement day that scared me ill explain later) but to all my christian friends. my pastor did pray for me sence i had wierd ocd like thoughts like "i,m this person" or that person and it was usally about fictional characters like some of them were from undertale stuff and from roblox piggy like the abysstale frisk and sans and alphys (and i didnt want them cause i thought it was making me out to claim it and i refused cause my identity is in christ not in fictional characters) and plus evolution isnt biblical, and he told me that the lord told him that i was listening and watching some dark things that open up the door to demons and i had to cut off certian things and i first thought it was undertale but i kept listening to it until i saw a youtube short on a rebellious girl going to hell, and it scared me cause it had a scene from a movie of her out of body expierence and it was her in an ambulance and then shes in hell screaming (not burning but probably going to somewhere where she would burn) and laying down and it shows us shes screaming as she slowly gose into an area in her torment area and it scared the MESS out of me for some reason cause all i saw was her going somewhere and her screaming, i dont know what part of it scared me but i dont wanna see it ever again cause of how scary it was. but in the end i cut off undertale music and the entire genre of undertale and aus as a whole out of fear of going to hell, then i began repenting everyday just to make myself "clean" incase id die one of my nights on earth cause our lives could end in a flash and tomorrow isnt garunteed then i made it to sunday by the grace of god, and in the end i go from cutting it off without any problem of doing so to being greived by the fact i might have to cut it off and never enjoy undertale and its genre ever again, and not just undertale and aus but also piggy and the reading moonside comic with metakaz. but then that fear where i have to get clean from sin before dying went away and everytime i,m outside my room out my house i,m always thinking id wanna go enjoy undertale and aus and piggy and moonside comic (witch is fnaf fan so thats why i also wouldnt wanna read it) but whenever i go back into my room or am in my room i would have that tired feeling and irretated a bit like i shouldnt do it, so i told this to my mom and she asked if this was some religous spirit on me. to me it probably could have been cause i think "i gotta get clean or i,m going to hell" whenever i repent and in doing so i think i made the mistake of trusting in my works to get right with god, and she told me that it wasnt like i was trying to rebel against god whenever i listen to that stuff unless gods trying to call me away from it to show me something about or saying "hey come here". so i went along with the same thing she said and said it to myself as well. but of course she said that was as long as i put jesus first and by first we mean our priority cause the lord should be priority, as a result i still enjoyed it (probably too much) but i had a tendancy cut off undertale and piggy and moonside comic ect from time to time as well as waiting for a week or longer until i can finally go back to it (though i did during those weeks think of undertale and all that stuff). then i saw videos on judgement day and it really scared me cause the main character who got judged had sin of divorce and adultry but what had me back in the fear is that he justified his sin. it scared me cause i,m looking back at what i said saying "its not like i,m trying to rebel against god when i enjoy it its only when it becomes an idol" and i probably think i did go that far and shoudlnt have, it scared me and now i feel like by saying all that i think and feel as if i was trying justifying it as sin and got exposed.

Episode 1572/1758. The Scripture art series from Revelation to Genesis.

[paintingformike]

been seeing some (not so good) takes elsewhere that will would only feel like a rebound with the way they’ll make m!leven break up next season then have mike confess to will after that and im going to be honest...i really dont think this is how its going to come off in the slightest.

all thats going to need to happen is for will to find out that the main conflict in mike and el’s relationship was mike’s inability to tell her he loved her. in fact, i’m almost convinced that they had mike purposefully leave out the “i love you” part in all of their heart to hearts, so that will would be left in the dark of the actual state of their relationship and be under the impression that mike was head over heels in love with her. it was to make him feel like there was no hope or chance for him. he continuously kept trying to push them together and didn’t realize that wasn’t even what mike really wanted.

but once will finds out that throughout that whole time, el didnt even feel like she was loved by mike and he wasn’t at all loving her the way she wanted him to...things will change drastically. tbh if there’s anything that would make it hard for will to believe that mike loves him its the whole “mike is straight” belief that’s probably ingrained in his head (especially because of how the rain fight went), or the fact that he doesn’t feel like mike pays that much attention to him or care about him as much as he used to anymore (he’s wrong!), not because mike would be using him as a rebound/replacement for el...but with the way its been set up, it feels really intentional that will’s going to find out the real problem mike struggled with and it’s going to be a big reveal to his face.

you could argue that him hearing mike “declare his love” for el in the monologue would make it infinitely harder for mike to convince will that he loves him, but people seem to forget the context surrounding it. i mean, will was basically the one who encouraged mike to talk in the first place, do we really think mike wouldn’t bring up how will caused the entire monologue? i can even see something like this unfolding once they inevitably have a conversation about the painting...“you made me feel like i had to be the one person she drew strength from and that i needed to return this deep love and need she had for me, it felt like i owed it to her...” AND BOOM.

[xlysaaa]

Ahhhhhh

Ok, so this might become a bit of a long post. After reading the latest Kono oto Tomare! chapter, i just have to get these feelings off my chest. It'll be random & full ramblings.

i put some panels of chapter 105 but also from 99.5 in this post.

-> lot of spoilers, so read at your own risk <-

this wont be a review or something. I just want to ramble and scream.

First of all, Chikas father . . .

I have literally no fucking words for this sorry excuse of a father! seeing this flashback made me wanna puke my fucking guts out on the floor.

how much do you have to sink as a human being to make YOUR VERY OWN CHILD think this?

What kind of human scum do you have become to tell to YOUR VERY OWN SON " It's hell. Ever since you were born, Its always been hell." ?! What kind of heartless huge shit being do you have to be to treat your very own son like he's the worst, like he isnt worth of human affection or care?!

While Chika was scared & uncomfortable, because he punched someone for the first time to defend himself, instead of talking about it the father looked at him like he was dirt.

When Chika went to the Takaokas that day in Chapter 99.5, he brought back come of the selfmade cake from Tetsukis mum, because he wanted to share it with his father, he thought he could make him happy.

look at this adorable sweet baby bean? how dare you make him cry. ༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽

Imagine a little smiling chika hoping his father would come back early from work to share this delicious cake with him. . . and THEN! imagine the father telling chika in his drunk state all those horrible things, while chika still cares for his father and put a blanket on him to keep him warm. Only for the faher to say ".. I cant bringt myself to love you."

We read in the latest chapter that his mother left with another man, chika cant even remember her face, because he was 2 years old. If its because of the dad, why wouldnt she take chika with her? i dont care whatever her business is, she is as much to blame as this human trash called father. There were so many moments were i had to pause for a bit cause these scenes were too heartbreaking.

Of course Chika would never treasure himself when never once did his father! How should he know how to hold himself dear, when his father never did?

I cant find even the words to describe, what i'm feeling. I feel so sick to my stomach.

I'm so glad that he had his grandpa who cherished him and gave Chika affection. He always encouraged Chika. "Hey, Chika. Dont give up on yourself" & showed him the Koto. He & Tetsuki literally pulled Chika out of the deep darkness & showed him light.

Look Chika, they're all waiting for you! T____T

- - - - - - -- - - - - - -

When Tetsuki transfered into Chikas class, a boy told him that he shouldnt get involved with chika because he's a loner & he's trouble. He said "Instead you can be friend with us" to which Tetsuki replied "Thanks. But no thanks." IN YO FACE YOU SHITTY BULLY CHILD.

Anyways, after school the boy & his friends planed to isolate Tetsuki & bully him . . welp, these boys forget chika "LAME. You guys are super lame." and off they go :'D thank to these shitty children ⬇️

a wonderful unbreakable friendship started! They became best friends who were inseparable. /chikas adorable blush q.q sweet baby bean!!!

When Chika had an argument with his father & left the house, he was bullied by middles schoolers & fought. . . it was then when they started to slowly fall apart.. Chika started to avoid Tetsuki & isolated himself again. Even when Tetsuki tried to ask what happened or tried to help him, Chika would only say "Its got nothing to do with you, do dont butt in." Tetsuki blamed himself "If only I had been there the first time Chika had fought. Maybe we could've run. Maybe we could've feigned defeat. Anything so he didnt have to deal with their attention. Any maybe he would still be . . ." He missed his best friend & was worried what would happen to Chika if he keeps going on like this..

Tetsuki was told by the teacher that his mother had an accident & needs surgery. He's waiting anxious in the hospital, hoping for the best, trying to keep the worst case thoughts away . . thats when Chika comes running into the hospital he was worried!

NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS THEIR FRIENDSHIP IS SIMPLY PERFECTION, I CANT!!! ૮₍ ꒦꒳꒦ ₎ა❤

When Tetsukis dad said to Chika that he heard a lot about him from his wife & thanked him for supporting Tetsuki, he asked about his wounds & if they hurt. . thats when Tetsuki learns the reason, why chika kept his distance from him. He didnt want to involve him or put him in danger. "E-Everything's fine! I'm not hanging out with Tetsuki anymore, nobody's seen us together, nobody knows we're friends or anything. I would never drag him into my problems. Never."

Takaoka-papa is as wonderful as Takaoka-mama, jesus the Takaoka family is a bunch of lovely human beings, help me!!!

BONUS:

WHY ARE THEY SO DAMN WONDERFUL??/Tetsuki is so happy for chika *ugly sobbing deluxe*

I'm so glad that that he had Tetsuki right beside him, i dont wanna imagine what would have happened to Chika without his support & affection.

For me, they have one of the most wonderful & most strongest bond ever. I love their friendship so much, seriously i could probably write an essay about them & would never be able go stop. 🥺❤❤❤

Chika went through so much already, he fought his way through life, suffered, so NOW! Let him finally become happy!

Ufff, i didnt mean to make it THIS long.. but there's so much to say about this manga & the relationships chika made or the persons met.ヾ( இ⌓இ)ﾉﾞ

[bridgyrose]

I remember you had an AU where Blake got stuck in the past, and showed up in the present as a teacher. What if it turned out that she was a mentor to someone in RWY

“You know, when I asked for help, this… isnt exactly what I had in mind.” Weiss put her rapier away and leaned against a tree. When she had asked Professor Belladonna to help her train, she figured she’d be able to talk a bit of sense into her and help her remember who she was supposed to be, not end up getting instruction with fighting grimm. “I was really hoping that we could talk and…. I dont know, maybe try to get to know each other.”

Blake smiled a bit and put her own weapon back onto her back. “You know that’s not acceptable between a student and a professor, right? Even if I am just a substitute until Oobleck-”

“Dont you remember what you agreed to? That you were only supposed to go back in time and give information to a past Ozpin. What happened?”

Blake sighed, finally dropping the act she had been putting on. “I… grew up, Weiss. When I went back in time, I told Ozpin the information and then was told I wasnt going to be able to come back when I was sent back. That going back in time was a one way trip and that we were lied to.”

“You… do remember us?”

“I do.” Blake sat down on a fallen log and pulled out her scroll. “I kept pictures of all of you close to remind myself what I needed to get back to. But… its been almost thirty years. I still love you but… our love cant be anymore. So, I’ve done what I can to make a world that’s better for you all to live in. I kept the White Fang from going unnecessarily violent, I became a huntress and started protecting humans and faunus alike, and I came here to mentor the three of you to become heroes.”

Weiss rushed over to Blake and hugged her. “You have no idea how much we miss you. I know you’ve only been gone for three weeks for us, but… our team isnt the same without you.”

“Weiss, you’re better off forgetting me.”

Weiss froze and slowly let go of Blake, her heart broke from the words she heard. “F-forget you?”

“It’ll be for the best for you and the rest of your team.” Blake pulled back and brought her weapon out once again as she walked deeper into the forest. “Now, lets keep training. There’s a few grimm that have been getting closer to Vale and causing problems with wall repair.”

Weiss sighed and followed Blake, still trying to wrap her mind around everything Blake told her. She never wanted to forget her, never wanted to lose her. But now, here she was with Blake being told to forget her. All because of the time they spent away from each other. “R-right, Professor. Lets uh… lets take care of those grimm.”

[kaeyapilled]

okay hehe im about to be really delulu.

this song is sooooo them in their breakup era. either during their actual academic divorce or in a nebulous situation where they dont ever solve their issues and drift away from each other. i think both fit in different parts of the song and i dont know which to choose lmao why choose one interpretation though. make it about both and neither go crazy go stupid. here are the lyrics!!

(acrilic on canvas - legião urbana)

it is yearning, then and once again of you i made the most perfect drawing ever made the strokes i copied from what did not happen, the colors i chose among the pigments i made up, i mixed with the promises that the two of us never made i worked on you in light and shadow

!! i know kaveh's thing is architecture and not painting but! i just think it fits thematically either way. besides you need to be a bit metaphoric about it. something something missing a person very much even though they hurt you and you hurt them and your memories of being together are bittersweet. building something (in a literal sense or not) with pieces you have kept of them and keeping it close to your heart. having mixed feelings about it, that product of both your love and your resentment towards them. yeah. okay rest of the song where you can feel everything i just talked about

i prepared my canvas with pieces of the bedsheets that we never got to dirty the frame i made with the wood from your bedroom window from the gates of your house, i made palette and easel and with the tears that didn't stay with you i distilled linseed oil and from your bed i ripped away pieces that i cut up in different sizes and i made, then, paintbrushes with your hair i made coal out of the lipstick i stole from you and with it, marked two vanishing points and sketched my horizon

this entire part makes me go insane i just really like it. oh the lyricism.... oh..... ah...... it's also the part that slaps the most in the song if you, hypothetical reader, end up listening to it (WHICH I RECOMMEND EVEN IF YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND THE LANGUAGE I SWEAR ITS A VIBE ITS MY FAVORITE SONG) (okay let's proceed)

and it was always "i didn't mean it i swear i didn't mean it, i didn't want to hurt you i promise that it won't happen another time" and it was always, always the same again the same betrayal sometimes it's difficult to forget "i'm sorry, she doesn't live here anymore" but then why do i pretend that i believe what i make up none of it happened this way it wasn't like this nobody suffered and it's only you who causes this empty yearning trying to paint these flowers called heartseases and forget-me-nots

(translator's note i was very happy that forget-me-nots are called the same thing in both portuguese and english so the meaning isn't lost but heartseases are called "perfect love", which. adds to the meaning okay. so yeah. but heartseases also kinda hits and fits so its alright)

anyway DO YOU SEE MY VIEW? DO YOU GET IT!! ITS SOOOO THEM it's them in their angsty breakup arc. and i just love the imagery of the song which i think fits them too!! from kaveh's pov specifically because he's the artist of the relationship.. anyways i just spent like half an hour typing out this post im a little ill and diseased over it

im gonna post another fucking messy translation of a song by the same band i never shut up about and i will make it about kaveh and alhaitham and im gonna be so annoying about it.

[iwaisuke]

i like you so much, you'll know it

ft. kageyama tobio, semi eita, iwaizumi hajime x fem!reader

genre: fluff (prompts are based off lines of the song)

masterlist

a/n: from the c-drama a love so beautiful :) i wrote this at like 4am so sorry if its crap haha. not proof read either. also, sorry in advance if they're too ooc lol im a mess rn.

» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

i like your eyes, you look away when you pretend not to care i like the dimples on the corners of the smile that you wear. i like you more the world may know but dont be scared cause im falling deeper baby be prepared.

» today was your first day at karasuno highschool. honestly, you were so scared. that was up until you found out kageyama was going too.

» the two of you had been childhood friends due to each others grandparents knowing the others. you had been with him through his ups and downs. his victories and defeats. almost everything kageyama did, you were there with him.

» actually, you didnt know kageyama was going to karasuno until you walked outside your door to find the raven haired boy in the same school uniform as you

» "tobi? you never told me you were going to karasuno?" giving him a side eyed grin. "i thought you were planning on going to aoba johsai like oikawa senpai and iwaizumi senpai"

» you viewed kageyama as someone who expected others to reach his level in order to be a good match for him. he had a strong head on his shoulders. naturally gifted in volleyball, like everything was given to him on a gold platter. of course, he wasnt perfect and thats where you come in and keep him level headed. helping him understand his faults and weaknesses as well. doing your best to encourage the setter

» he let out a sigh. a slight frown forming on his face. "i didnt get in.." he quietly said. "karasuno has a good volleyball team though and i can feel myself growing here" he stated bodly

» and boy was he right. something about kageyama did changd that day. he usually was so bitter and angry. a very pessimistic look on life if he and others weren't at the top. maybe it was the orange haired boy, hinata, that the setter and you became friends with. and maybe it was his great senpai's who were patient with him and gave him the opportunity to grow

» kageyama started smiling more often. his small unnoticeable dimples showing. he became kinder. softer. and more carefree. he was a growing boy both mentally and physically.

» what you didnt realize was that not only was kageyama changing, you as well, had something changing and growing in your heart.

» but kageyama noticed. oh boy did he really notice, the way you seemed to become happier and livelier by the day. how the stars sparkled in your eyes when you talked about something you enjoyed. the kind of perfume you would wear and how you would tie your hair differently each day. the weird trinkets you just seemed to love that decorated your bag. but most importantly, how much bigger your heart has become, loving everyone and their faults. always encouraging and motivating him and his team.

» was she always like this? he would constantly think to himself. all of a sudden being hyperaware about you... but he would NEVER let you know that, let alone his senpai's. it was just too embarrassing. just thinking about the never ending teasing he'd get from tanaka and noya senpai made him shiver.

» all of these things he felt about you hit kageyama like a truck the day everyone started to wear their winter uniforms.

» picking you up to walk to school together was a normal thing since the two of you lived close, but how was kageyama suppose to do this now when you're standing in front of him. thigh high socks to keep your legs warm, an oversized jacket that you had borrowed from him a while back you forgot to return. white mittens to cover your cold hands and the slight blush on your face from the wind chill.

» "does it look weird?" you shyly asked. kageyama was silent. "ah.. give me a second. I'll go back in and change real qui-"

» kageyama tugged on your hand. "its fine. lets just go to school or we'll be late." refusing to look you in the eyes. heat rising to your cheeks as tobio dragged you along with him.

» your feelings for the setter had blossomed over the past few months. falling deeper and deeper into him, and at this point you felt like you couldnt hide it anymore. you just had to tell him. tell him all the wonderful things he's done. the way he's grown and how much he means to you.

» "tobi..." your soft voice spilling out. eyes closed, the fog of your breath coming out as you exhaled. "i lik-"

» you felt something wrap around your neck. "wait y/n..." kageyama spoke, interrupting what you were about to say. not gonna lie, you felt like your heart was about to be shattered like ice eventhough kageyama continued to wrap his scarf around your neck.

» "dont say it..." he quietly said as he began to walk forward without you.

» ah... is this what rejection feels like? i didnt even get to say it properly... your hands felt colder now that kageyama wasnt holding them anymore.

» he took a quick glance back at you. blush on his cheeks. "be prepared because i want to be the one to tell you first."

i like the way you try so hard when you play ball with your friends. i like the way you hit the notes in every song you're shinnin' i love the little things like when you're unaware, i catch you steal a glance and smile so perfectly

» semi eita, your 3 year heart throb from the moment he first spoke to you.

» at first, you had suppressed these feelings, telling yourself he would never look at you the same way. but something about the blonde tsundere struck a chord in your heart that you just couldn't forget.

» the two of you ended up becoming friends. closer than you had actually imagined within these past 3 years. doing everyday life with you. waking up and saving you a spot at breakfast. helping you with your studies in exchange for being his workout buddy and motivator.

» semi kept his tabs on you. your likes and dislikes. the things that made you smile and the things that made you groan in disgust, but he would never let you know that.

» to semi, you were his breath of fresh air. the song he has on repeat everyday. the kind of person who would keep him on his toes. in a good way of course

» "oi what are you daydreaming of this time?" semi asked as you zoned out while drinking your carton of strawberry milk. "hm? oh nothin. just thinkin about whats in store for us today!" reaching your arms above your head letting out a stretch. "i just know for a fact. today is gonna be a good day." semi chuckled at your optimistic claim. "how do you know for sure?" "i dont know how. i just do" you replied with a smile on your face.

» today, shiratorizawa had a practice match with aoba johsai and today, eita was picked to be in the starting line up. the pure joy that radiated from his body. maybe today was a really good day just like how you had said.

» semi took a quick glance up into the stands, you gave him a thumbs up and wished him good luck. his smile was brighter than you had ever seen it and his eyes shined like stars. he always told you that whatever chance he got on the court, he would be sure to not let his team down no matter what. he was in his zone. playing his best and sure enough, they had won all 3 matches.

» after practice, semi and you would hang out at his dorm afterwards. he liked to show you all the new songs he was working on. whether it was a cover or a song or a song he was writing on his own.

» the two of you leaned against the wall as you sat on semi's bed. his sheet music all sprawled out before him on his bed sheets. guitar in his arms and you beside him.

» "what are you working on semi?" "a song" "well obviously dum dum" you laughed, reaching out for a paper in front.

» "so who's the special lady?" you teased him as you read the lyrics. deep down inside you could only wish these words were meant for you. a blush formed on eita's face. "just... shut up about it... its not ready yet"

» it was getting late and falling asleep at semi's place was a normal occurrence at this point. your eyes became heavy and your head started bobbing.

» "sleepy?" eita asked as he noticed your eyes drooping. "mhm. sing for me semi? please?" his voice was so soft like a mothers touch yet somehow had the power to pierce through your soul sometimes. although, it never failed to help you fall asleep when you needed it.

» hesitantly, semi started humming. softly speaking some lyrics here and there. you didnt know where the tune was from so you listened the best you could.

» "... till the last of snow dissapears ... till a rainy day, becomes clear. never knew a love like this, now i can't let go..."

» your eyes had closed. slumber taking over you as you fell onto semi's shoulder.

» "im in love with you... and now you know..."

» yeah. today was a good day. just like you said it was going to be.

in a world devoid of life, you bring color. in your eyes i see the light, my future. always and forever i know i cant let you go. im in love with you and now you know

» to iwaizumi, unlike volleyball, oikawa, maki, mattsun, school, anything life threw at him; you were the thing in his life that was constant yet at the same time a whirlwind of new beginnings. not in a bad way though.

» ever since you were kids, you showed iwaizumi the beauty in things he would have never guessed had. he was bold and tended to look over things without giving them much thought. his eyes straight ahead to the trials before him. you on the other hand, stopped him and slowed him down from rushing into them blindly.

» "every moment is precious. you should learn to cherish it because you never know when it's gonna be your last" you always said

» your views of the world were beautiful compared to how cruel it actually was. naivety maybe? or maybe it was just because you were blessed with a kind soul.

» iwaizumi always knew he had feelings for you. you had been with him through thick and thin. he could depend on you and you could depend on him. in his eyes, you were the most beautiful person on earth. deep down he had hoped the two of you could stay like that forever. nothing could ever change that.

» or so he thought...

» "iwa chan~ you owe me a meat bun" oikawa whined as the group of friends were walking to the gym for volleyball practice. "shut up crappykawa. i already bought you one last week" "oi isn't that y/n over there?" maki said, shaking iwaizumi's shoulder.

» sure enough it was you. apparently you had told iwaizumi to go ahead of you today because you had something to take care of in the afternoon. telling him you'd meet up with him after practice was over. not thinking much of it, he bid you a farewell and went on in his day.

» "oooou by the looks of it, this is the perfect confession scene" mattsun teased. "oi stop messing around" iwaizumi's voice hoarse. not gonna lie, iwaizumi felt his heart drop when mattsun said that

» the 4 boys crept closer to see what was going on.

» there you were, standing in the middle of a classroom with a black haired boy. "mhm. definitely a confession." oikawa stated. "shut up tooru we cant hear" maki retorted.

» you weren't considered popular in school but that didnt mean people didnt know who you were. iwaizumi knew you were gorgeous and on top of that, smart, kind and one of the sweetest girls, so it was only natural that people would be drawn to you.

» they watched as the boy got closer and closer to you. voices barely being audible to the 4 boys outside. iwaizumi's heart could bear to see this right before his eyes.

» without even thinking, his feet moving on his own, iwaizumi barged into the room. all eyes towards him.

» "iwa what are you-" without letting you finish, iwa dragged you out of the classroom. "iwa where are you taking me" asking him as he took you to who knows where, leading you up the stairs of the school.

» up on the roof, he finally let go. "sorry..." he mumbled.

» "sorry for what iwa?" "for ruining that confession... i just-"

» "you just...-?"

» "i just love you ok?!"

» your heart shook at the resonance of his voice. iwa liked you? he liked you back?! wait no- he loved you.

» you had loved iwaizumi from the moment you met him and as the two of you grew up, your love for him only grew deeper. he was the only one you'd ever look at. the only one who would ever cross your mind. you had hoped he felt the same about you but he was always so busy with other things you only felt like you would be able to support him on the sidelines as he faced the world head on like he always does.

» just being in iwaizumi's presence was enough for you. no need to be greedier, you thought. its good to be content with what you have, but just knowing that he shares the same feelings... its ok to be a little greedy right?

» your silence being louder than it should have been, iwaizumi took it the wrong way. "look I know this isn't the greatest confession. heck it's not even the way I wanted to confess to you, and get it if you like that other guy, you don't have to-"

» shuting him up with a kiss, you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him in closer. needless to say, he was shocked, but embraced you as well.

» "you're overthinking too much iwa. that's so unlike you" you chuckled. his face bright red at the previous actions.

» "i love you. I've loved you for a long time actually. every single second. every moment we've shared. i cant picture myself with anyone but you hajime."

» iwa let out a sigh of relief. a smile being brought back onto his face. "good because all I know is that i cant let you go. in the past, present and even in the future...."

» the blue sky slowly changing into shades of coral warmed your heart even more on top of his sweet words that you've always longed to hear.

» "im in love with you, and now you know"

-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

enjoy your order! have a great day!

[kaz11283]

Love Never Wins

Summary: Words will be said but do you really think either one of you mean them. Sometimes actions speak louder.

Warnings: slight angst

Characters: Loki, Thor, Y/n, Clint, avengers in the background here and there

Loki x you, Thor x you (platonic), Clint x you (brother,sister)

ANNOUNCEMENT: Not going to lie. This was going to be a simple short sweet straight to the point drabble but it turned into such a looooong one shot (i guess) I was in a good head space wgile writing this and just couldnt stop really. But it is something that I am very proud of.

ANNOUNCEMENT 2: I've had to make this a simple 2 part. I got way to carried away with everything in it!

Loki Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What's going on with you?" You yelled as you grabbed Loki by the arm pulling him away from the girl who was obviously flirting with him and he with her.

"What are you talking about? We were talking." He yelled back.

"You were flirting Loki in front of everyone! Openly! Don't play me for the fool you think I am. You've been off lately. Not around as much, zoning out when we finally have some time together. If there's something you want to say tell me now." You felt the tears rush to your eyes. You had seen all the signs, hell you were an expert at the signs. Multiple boyfriends had given you the signs before but for some reason you though that maybe, just maybe, he was diffrent.

"I just feel like we've grown apart in the last few months y/n. I don't think I can do this anymore." he said simply.

"You said I brought out the best side of you, that I was the love of your life." You said tears streaming down your face now, to hell with the makeup you was wearing you wasn't going back to the party anyways.

"You're not." He stated simply clenching his jaw.

"Ok fine. It's not the first time I've been broken up with. Just the first time that I had ever put so much into someone that I truly did see a future with just to have my heart completely ripped out in front of me. You got me good this time trickster. Don't think I'll be able to fully recover from this one." You spat back at him before turning to head up stairs to your room that the two of you had shared for so long.

Luckily Tony hadn't done anything to the room you had once occupied on a lower level of the tower so you easily moved all of your clothing back into there in a matter of no time. You weren't use to the feeling of being alone but thats all you wanted right now for the rest of your life. The god of tricks had ruined other men for you, he had once shown you love like you had never felt, and now your heart broke like it had never broke before.

"Hey sis, noticed you weren't- oh god what did he do?" Clint asked walking into your room. "Knew something was up. I could feel it."

"Hawk stop with the twin shit, its creepy." You huffed whipping your eyes on the back your long sleeve hoodie.

"What happened? All I know is you two disappeared, he came back, you didn't, and he said I should probably find you in your old room." He sat down next to you.

"We broke up. Easy as that. Ya know I never understood why they say not to date your co workers till today." You shrugged turning to him. "When we first got together you hated it-"

"To be fair he did brainwash me."

"I didn't say you didn't have a right. We kept it from you for a while though. But we hadn't been together long, Hawk, I thought he was diffrent from any man I ever dated-"

"Well he is a god, kinda different."

"Would you shut up so I can vent just for a little bit then you can go back to the party."

"Na, parties lame anyways, I was thinking about hanging out here for a little bit." He said kicking his shoes off and proping his feet on the coffee table throwing his arms across the back of the couch.

"Whatever," you rolled your eyes as you snuggled into your brother. "He was so kind, gentle, he was paciant with me. He knew that me and you were close and he didnt wamt to get in the way of that. He wanted us to be closer than he and Thor was. I think it helped him realize just how important family is when you only have each other. We kept it a secret for so long though." You pulled the hood up closer to your face. You didn't want to admit to yourself but you had kept the jacket because it still smelled like him.

"Nat seen the two of you making out in the hall weeks before you told anyone by the way." He laughed pulling you closer to him. " I didnt say anything though because I knew you would tell me when you were comfortable with it."

"I love him so much and he played me. Completely tricked me into these feelings that I dont think will ever change." You sobbed wrapping your arms around his waist, he through his arm around your shoulder and pulled you closer.

"Hes a dick with a god complex. Hes not good enough for you at all. Coming from a brother, a twin brothers point of view, I think you could do better. All is fair in love and war, but dont put it past me to be a little rougher on him during training, and I wont point anything out if you happen to let some bad guy kill him on the field." He said kissing the top of your head.

"Hawk, you know I'm not like that. I habe a reputation to up hold." You said slapping his arm before pulling away. "If you wanna stay theres still some of your sweats that I stole in the bedroom and ice cream in the freezer, but your sleeping on the couch. Its been since we were kids that we shared a bed but I bet you still kick."

~~~~

A few weeks had passed since you and Loki had called it quites. You had been mainly staying in your room trying not to cause any uncomfortable silence if you and Loki wede in the same room. On one occasion when you had ventured out to the living room you seen Loki holding an icepack to his eye and a busted lip, your first instinct was to rush over and make sure he was ok but instead you turned and took a seat between Thor and Clint.

"Lady Y/n, as always your peresnts lights up the room. We just havent been seeing much of it as of late." Thor greeted you with a warm smile throwing his huge arm ober your shoulder, making you look smaller than you already was.

"No more gods." Clint mumbled beside you.

"Thor is just a friend. One of the best I have." You laughed. "What happened?" Nodding toward Loki.

"Payback." He shrugged.

"Ah yes, it turns out Loki is not very good at hand to hand combat unles he is able to use his magic." Thor laughed. "I always tried to get him to train with me but he never did, turns out he probably should have."

"Oh for god sakes I'm right here and you three are not really whispering. I shouldn't have to learn hand to hand combat I have my sedair! I'm assuming it was just your brothers idea so that he could get back at me." He yelled.

"And you forget that there could come a time when you might need hand to hand. I told you many times that you needed to train but no mister 'I'm Loki prince of Asguard, burdened with glorious purpose', mister I have my magic. Bullshit. Your just sour because a mear mortal bested you at something. Grow a pair and learn how to actually fight." You jumped up. You had finally snapped. It had been coming tough sitting in you waiting for the right, or wrong, time to show up.

"You watch your tone!" He shouted jumping up. "I know how to fight better than half the people in here." Clint and Thor slowly stood watching the scene in front of them neither one know what to do.

"You know how to use your pixie dust to make things happen! Well guess what tinker bell this aint Neverland. We get in weird predicaments all the time you never know what to expect." You yelled back. "Hell Loki, your probably so bad at hand to hand even I could beat you."

"Oh your on. Training room, 30mins. That is unless your scared?" He said giving you a mischievous smirk.

"Trust and believe I'm not afraid of you by any means. No weponds, no sedair strictly hand to hand." You said turning on your heel to walk to your room to get ready leaving Clint and Thor standing alone in the living room aww struck.

"So what do we do?" Clint finally asked.

"Well of course we have to stop this. It will not end very well." Thor answered.

"So tell the others?"

"Yes you tell the others I will get refreshments for the battle." They took off in seprate directions.

[brelione]

Love and Hate (The Best Boys)

dude come on. you said you’d upload the next chapter on christmas and now it’s been a whole week after and it’s still not out. :(, hi! when are you posting the next chapter of tbb??, tbb????, Are you posting the next chapter of best boys soon? I miss her, when will you be posting the next part of the best boys series??, Ok I’m over TBB I’m just gonna say she ends up with Blah Blah and they live happily ever after, the end. Thank you for the amazing read, it has been fun❤️, TBB is literally the last series I have to finish before I can finally peace out of the shithole that is the OBX fandom for good but like no rush or anything baby❤️,When do you think you’ll be posting the last chapters of TBB?, Hey queen how’s the writing for best boys going, 

Series Masterlist

SHES HEREEEE

Yes, im aware this chapter is all over the place. I went through writing four different versions of this chapter and this is the one that I decided to go with. I know that this one is kind of a little ahfioshviowenvionae but it all comes together next chapter (I already started writing the next chapter). Im so sorry that this is so late. I’ve been having issues for a little bit. My grandfather and my dog passed away and I recently had a relapse and I think that’s why it was taking me so long. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter <3

Warnings:Nothing really, swearing and unedited. Also im sorry if you dont like this chapter but like....yeah.

You were awoken to the sounds of screaming.Topper ended up at the foot of the bed, Kelce still clinging onto you.Rafe was absent from his spot but the mattress was still warm and had a slight dent which let you know that he hadnt been gone long.

You had spent most of the night trying to find the perfect spot on the mattress, one arm thrown over kelce and your heel against the back of Toppers thigh.It seemed like it hadnt been a super long time since the sun had risen which meant that it was probably around seven in the morning by now.

Your heart was thumping in your chest, trying to pay attention to what the voices were shouting.Something about a mess and irresponsibility but you couldnt hear much besides that.Rafe stomped up the stairs, opening his door.He was shirtless, face red from yelling and his eyes slightly watery.You sat up, making Kelce grumble.

 Rafe’s jaw was slightly dropped, his nose beginning to run and his body trembling.“Hey, what happened?”You asked, gaining Kelce’s attention.Topper’s eyes opened slightly, looking over at Rafe.The tall boy didnt say anything, he just dragged his feet across the room and sat back on the bed, mumbling.You were hesitant to grip his hand, squeezing lightly.

He just stared at a wrinkle in the blanket but the sound of something breaking downstairs told you that it had been more than just bickering.Kelce was worried, knowing that his parents had gotten home late last night and would see the mess he had created. “He doesnt want me living here anymore.”Rafe spoke up, a few tears rolling down his cheeks.

You pulled him closer to you, arms around his shoulders as he sobbed, your fingers rubbing against the back of his neck.He squeezed you tightly when he head footsteps coming up the stairs, silently praying to any god that would listen that it wouldnt be Ward.Kelce’s phone kept buzzing but he ignored it, knowing exactly what it was.

He knew that it was coming and he would be lying if he said that he didnt expect it, nervous the whole night as he waited for his phone to blow up.“What are you gonna do?”Topper asked.As much as you wanted to scold him for asking that when Rafe clearly didnt want to talk about it it was still something that you had also been wondering.

Rafe didnt answer, taking in a deep, shaky breath that hurt his ribs before picking up his head and looking over to his friend. “I dont know.”He admitted.His voice hurt your heart, the realisation kicking in that there wasnt really many places that he could go.

Kelce’s phone buzzed again, all of your eyes falling on him.He sighed, glancing at his screen.He had missed calls from his parents, dozens of text in all caps telling him to come home immediately. “They found the door.”He replied, keeping his voice calm.A new wave of silence washed over the room, not knowing what to say to that.

Your eyes watered as you remembered how simple life was a few weeks ago, all of you eating breakfast, watching criminal minds and laughing as Topper recorded it all on his snapchat.Now everything was completely falling apart.You didnt say anything, trying to think of a solution.Rafe couldnt go to Kelce’s house or Topper’s house since Topper’s mother had one of those security cameras outside of her home and she’d recognize him immediately.

She was still pissy about Topper’s accident, she’d explode if he let friends over. “SO what happens now?”Topper asked.You were all out of ideas.A simple drive or icecream or a movie couldnt solve any of this. “I mean...think about it.We’re adults, right?Child protective services cant stop us if we leave.”Kelce muttered.Rafe nodded, snapping his fingers.

 “Yeah, yeah!You’re right.”He agreed, causing your eyes to widen.They were acting insane. They couldnt be serious about just getting up and leaving forever, right? “No, no hes not.We cant just-we cant just leave!”You exclaimed.They were actually going crazy.How could they even think like that? “Why?What do you have here, (Y/N)?”He asked.You paused, thinking about it.

You didnt really have anything.You had your house of course but other than that you had nothing but memories and your boys.You didnt want to admit that he was right, letting out a quiet sigh. “But leaving forever isnt the answer.”You muttered.Rafe rubbed your back, shaking his head. “Doesnt have to be forever, baby.”He answered. 

“But- but just cause we arent kids doesnt mean we cant be registered as missing people.They’ll come after us.”You told them.You knew that nobody outside of this room actually cared about you enough to report you as missing but you were scrambling through your thoughts, desperately hunting for a reason to stay on the shitty island that you had learned to love so much.Topper shrugged, not really caring. 

“Guys, guys. Okay, look. You’re all fucked, ill admit it. But thats fine! Are you guys forgetting that I still have a house- you guys can just stay there until this whole thing blows over just like you always have!”You reminded them, hoping they’d agree. “This isnt gonna blow over, (Y/N). I cant come back here.”Rafe told you, becoming aggravated. 

“THEN MOVE IN! All of you guys, you can just move in, okay? You dont have to leave- I still have my moms money! We’ll figure it out as we go and…. And it’ll be fine.”You insisted. “Move in with you?”Rafe asked. You nodded, wiping your nose. “You practically live with me already, it wont be that different.”You told him, gripping his hand.

 It was a messy blur as Rafe packed his things, grabbing anything that he thought could be important. A photo of his mother, his birth certificate and diploma, laptop and ipad, the Frozen ll record. Kelce and Topper just watched, neither of them ready for anything like this so early in the morning. 

Maybe if you werent so tired and upset you wouldnt have said it, but here you were in Rafe’s truck, a dufflebag full of his things at your feet with the boys in the backseat as he drove to your house, a few tears rolling down his cheeks as the thoughts finally took over his brain. Kelce had got aggravated and shut down his phone entirely, staring out the window. 

The last thing you were expecting was to come down your road only to see a car that was practically falling apart already in your driveway, a tall man with his hands over his forehead as he tried to look in your windows. “What the fuck….”Rafe muttered, reaching for the door handle when you gripped his hand. “Dont, we dont know what he’s doing.”You told him, hoping he’d listen.

 Turns out he wasnt the one you had to worry about, Kelce swinging his door open and sprinting up your driveway before anyone could even stop him. Wherever Kelce went Topper went, the boy struggling to get the seatbelt over his cast before jumping out of the truck and nearly falling into a puddle. “ESCUSE ME! MR SIR! WHAT ARE YOU DOING LOOKING IN MY HOUSE?”Kelce shouted, purposely making his voice deeper.

 The man turned, confused as to why two half asleep teenage boys were walking towards him. “Your house?”The man asked. “Yes, sir. You ever heard of a gay couple before?”Topper asked, making Kelce break character for a moment. 

“Well, no, its not that. Its just that I thought this was someone elses house.”The man muttered, confused. You had slid down your seat, hoping that the man wouldnt see you. “He’s about to leave.”Rafe whispered. 

“Who’s the other guy in the car?”The man asked, pointing to Rafe’s figure. Kelce glanced over at Topper with wide eyes, trying to think. “Our son.”Kelce replied, cringing the moment he said it. The man only looked more confused, looking between the two boys. “How old are you guys?”The man asked, clearly not buying their story. 

“Excuse me? Are you saying that we’re too old to have a son? I did not spend years training for a medical degreee to have some random old man come and tell us how old our son can be!”Topper exclaimed.  “I didnt spend years trying to find a surrogate and figuring out a way to make a robot nanny for this!”He sighed, trying his best not to smile.

“Could you please leave the property before we call the police?”Kelce asked. The man was beyond confused at this point, quickly making his way to his shitty car before slowly backing out of the driveway, eyes still scanning the area before he gave up and went down the street. 

You let out a sigh of relief, moving to get up when Rafe placed his hand on top of your head to keep you down. “Hes coming around again.”He whispered to you, taking in a shaky breath and holding it in his lungs as the car passed a second time. Topper and Kelce were standing by the door, staring at Rafe almost as telling him to get out and make a run for it.

 “Open the door in 3...2…”You didnt wait, jumping out and running towards the house, typing in the key pad as quick as you could, Topper’s hand pushing you inside. “Here he comes again!”He exclaimed, coming in right behind you along with the others before Rafe slammed the door shut and locked it, letting out a laugh.

 “Oh god, that was scary.”He chuckled. Kelce and Topper nodded as well, eventually laughing. “Was that my dad?”You asked. “Maybe.”Topper answered. Now that you thought about it, your dad didnt same important. Nothing did. You lived on a huge rock that’s floating around space and you’re concerned about your dad when your boyfriends best friends are moving in.

 “What’d you tell him?”You asked. “We told him that we’re a gay couple, Topper’s a doctor and Rafe is our child.”Kelce replied. You giggled, snorting. “I mean, as you should.”You replied. “Hell yeah.”Kelce grinned. Topper tapped at his arm. “Bro, you wanna get married?”Topper asked. Kelce laughed again, nodding.

 “I’ll get baptised and get you guys married!”Rafe volunteered, all of you turning to look at him. “Did you just say baptised?”Kelce asked. Rafe nodded, eyebrows furrowing. “Is that not the right word?”He asked. Topper shook his head. “The word is ordained.”He informed the tall boy. “He’s trying his best.”You replied, sitting down on the chair that you werent used to sitting in. 

“You think he’s gonna come back?”You asked. Topper groaned, sitting down. “Well, I hope not. I dont want my husband and I to have to fight him.”He grinned. You rolled your eyes, changing positions in the chair. “Did he look like me?”You asked, leaning your head against the arm rest, groaning when Rafe pushed your legs aside and sat down with you.

 “Not really… he had rat tails for eyebrows.”Kelce replied, putting his fingers over his eyebrows. “Do I have rat tail eyebrows?”You asked, grinning when Rafe reached forward and poked your eyebrow, a chuckle slipping past his lips. “You wish.”He replied. “Fuck off.”You answered. “Dont be fucking rude.”He grinned, kissing you quickly before pulling away with a small smile. 

You were shocked, trying to hide your surprise. It wasnt like you werent used to kissing Rafe by now, it was just that he had never done it in front of the boys before. They looked nearly as confused as you, the thought of Rafe kissing you in front of them never even being a concern until now. They were used to him getting most of your love and attention but that had just stirred something within them. 

“So how are we gonna do this? I dont know about you guys but im not going back to my house anytime soon.”Kelce announced. Rafe lifted his head, looking over to the boy. “You could always sneak in your own window to grab your things...maybe wait until theyre at work. What about you, Top?”Rafe asked, turning his attention to the blonde boy. 

“What do I have at my house that I need? Like, really need.”He asked, grinning when none of you could answer. “Problem solved.”He replied. “What time is it?”Rafe asked, breaking the silence. “Ten.”Kelce replied, closing his eyes as he leaned against the couch. “Im going upstairs to take a nap then.”Topper yawned, slowly making his way down the hall into the first floor guest room. 

It was arguably the worst since it also worked as your moms office, a queen bed pushed into the corner. You wiggled out of Rafe’s grip, smiling when he whined. You went into the kitchen, grabbing a poptart. For the situation you felt rather calm, opening the silver package and taking a bite of one of the sweet pastries. 

The energy in the house felt different than it had yesterday. You werent sure why, maybe it was just the comfort of knowing that the boys were going to be living with you now and you wouldnt have to worry as much about Rafe or Topper’s relationship with his mom. 

“So how are we gonna handle this?”Kelce asked, confusing you. “The house, I mean. You have this whole house and like...30 million dollars. We can literally redecorate however we want, maybe even clean out your moms office if youre okay with it.”He suggested. 

You nodded, the idea of getting the memory of your mother cleansed from your life sounded appealing. His excitement took over as he opened his amazon prime app, looking for new decor. “How do you feel about your moms room?”He asked, not wanting to push your limits. You shrugged, swallowing part of the pastry. “Shes not using it.”You replied, surprised by how morbid you sounded. 

He simply nodded, shifting in his seat as he added things to his cart. “Can we redo your room? It’s been the same color since we were fourteen.”Rafe suggested. You shrugged, not really caring. You didnt spend a large amount of time in your bedroom anyways. You scrolled through your phone for a few minutes, seeing a little red bubble next to your messaging app that let you know that you had gotten a text. Curious, you opened it. 

As soon as you saw who it was a pit grew in your stomach, eyes widening. It was her. “Sweet words, (Y/N).”The text read. You knew that it was your uncle just trying to mess with you but it still caused your anxiety to skyrocket, deciding to block the number and place your phone between your thighs, taking in a deep breath through your nose. 

Topper dragged his feet, coming out of the room with a frown. “That’s the most uncomfortable bed in all of history.”He muttered, sitting down on the couch instead. “You can go upstairs.’You reminded him, feeling your phone buzz against your inner thigh. 

He just hummed, leaning his head against the back of the couch. “How long was I in there?”He asked. “Literally not even ten minutes.”Kelce replied, still scrolling. “Did I miss anything?”Topper asked. You didnt reply, breaking off another piece of the poptart. “We’re gonna redecorate the house.”Kelce answered. Topper nodded, lifting his head.

 “Does that mean that office too?”Topper asked. You nodded, staring at a spot on your carpet. “Does that mean we get to open the file cabinet in the guest room?”He asked, all of you looking over at him. The thought made you feel nauseous. Even if she wasnt here to yell at you you knew that opening the file cabinet would still scare you anyways. 

“If theres a dead body in there I swear to god-”You muttered, earning a chuckle from Rafe. “A body couldnt fit in there.”he replied, making your eyebrows furrow. “How do you know where bodies can fit?”You asked. “No, no. Like, its not….well...maybe a raccoon body.”He admitted. “Rafe!”You exclaimed, smacking his thigh. 

He rolled his eyes, pulling you into his lap. “There’s no raccoon body.”He answered. “I think theres a raccoon body.”Kelce replied. “Theres not.”You answered. Topper grinned, skipping into the room and beginning to open the cabinet, the three of you following him. “Okay, who votes raccoon body?”He asked, his hand on the knob. 

Kelce raised his hand, grabbing your arm to make you hold your hand up as well. “Ready?”Topper asked before pulling the door open, looking into it. His face fell immediately, not expecting this. “What?”You asked, stepping past Kelce and looking into the cabinet.Guns were being held by small metal pieces, multiple clear bags full of plants and needles on the floor, bullets on sashes hanging with the guns.

 The two of you just stared, ignoring Rafe and Kelce until they came up behind you, equally as confused. “What the fuck?”Rafe asked, seeing the bags. Kelce slammed the doors shut, locking it. “We’re not telling anyone about this, right?”He asked, looking at all of you. “What are we gonna do with all that? We cant just keep it here!”Topper argued. 

Rafe shrugged, resting his elbow on your shoulder. “We smoke the weed and throw the guns in the river, obviously.”Rafe answered. “We’re not smoking weed, Rafe.”You answered. “Well your mom didnt have a liscense to carry, right?”Kelce asked. You shook your head, figuring it would be hung up somewhere in the house to remind you of the power she had.

 “Right, okay. So we cant call the cops and we cant keep it here.”Kelce answered, clicking the lock on the cabinet. “What’d your mom even do for a living?”Topper asked. You frowned, thinking back. You never really knew what your mother did, you just stayed quiet and hoped you wouldnt make her angry. She’d disappear for months, money would appear in your bank account, she’d pay the bills aned thats all you needed to know. 

She’d have long phone calls with people in her office, grounding you if you even dared to listen. “I dont know.”You replied, cringing at how stupid you sounded. “She has these cabinets all over the house, doesnt she?”Kelce asked. “The one in her room is actual files.”You told him, hoping that there were no sorts of hidden things in her room.

 “Should we go check?” Rafe asked, out of the room with a grin before any of you could even answer. You sighed, slightly annoyed that he was treating this like a scavenger hunt. “Its been here this whole time, im sure nothings gonna happen.”Kelce assured you, patting you on the shoulder before his fingers tickled your arm and wrist, gripping your hand and bringing you upstairs. 

“I ordered some tapestries, succulents, fake vines and some new blankets for our new movie room.”He told you, nearly slipping up. “Movie room?”You asked, nearly slipping on the stairs. “Your mom has a big tv, I figured it could be like a second living room if you’re comfortable with that.”He answered, pausing at the top of the stairs so he could wait for you. 

Rafe was in your mother’s room, carefully pulling on the drawers, eventually finding out that the top one was locked. He looked over at you, silently asking if you knew where the key was. You shook your head, letting go of Kelce’s hand and opening the bottom drawer of the filing cabinet, the hairs on the back of your neck standing up. 

Your mother kept most of your medical documents and anything like that to herself along with basically everything that proved you existed. Baby photos, ultra sounds, old school tests. “We could just move it into the other guest room.”Rafe muttered, hoping he wasnt making you upset. You ignored him, looking through all the little colored tags, your eyes falling on a silver tag, your eyebrows furrowing. No other ones had that color. 

You picked it up, sitting down and reading it over. The words were all bundled together, ink scratches and smudges told you that it wasnt a serious document. The only word you could make out was ‘arsonist’. Nothing else was eligible. “Can we take it right now?”You asked, placing the paper on the floor and closing the drawer. Rafe nodded, Kelce grabbing one side while Rafe grabbed the other. Topper grinned, leaning against your mothers unused desk.

 “I would help but my arms broken.”he laughed, watching as Kelce struggled, walking backwards. “Some moral support would be great.”Kelce rolled his eyes. You grinned, slowly clapping. “Great job, guys. You’re doing great moving that illegal file cabinet.”You held back a laugh. They turned carefully, shuffling as they eventually got to the guest bedroom.

 “How do you feel about this?”Topper asked, sitting down on the chair. You sighed, shrugging. “I mean, you know. Its not that I dont love the idea of you guys being here but like… its the circumstances.”You answered, sighing when he pulled you closer with his good arm, rubbing your back. “Thanks a lot for this, though. Like in all seriousness im really grateful that you’re in my life.”He blushed, looking up at you. You smiled, kissing his nose lightly.

 “I mean, I do provide you with half of the drama in your life.”You giggled, kissing him gently. “Where does the other half come from?”He asked. You shrugged, sighing. “Probably you.”You answered. “I cant believe you’d say that to me! You know im at a bad place in life and you put me in this terrible situation when you know that!”He fake cried, bursting into laughter. 

“Kourtney dont laugh at me!”You exclaimed. You felt a vibration under your feet, hearing a loud, dramatic sigh and the sound of skin colliding. They had successfully moved the file cabinet, the door closing as their loud footsteps hit the floor as they entered your mother’s room again. Rafe took a moment to look around, sometimes forgetting that the room even existed. 

It was the biggest room in the house, the ceiling going up at least twenty feet with only glass separating the room from the outside world. His mind wandered, thinking of all the fun nights the two of you could have in here watching the stars or listening to the rain.

 The bed was large and still, the blankets and sheets unwrinkled and untouched. He understood why you were creeped out by the house now, feeling like he didnt belong in the room. You all took turns trying to figure out what the writing said, eventually deciding that it probably wasnt even in english. “Should we put it through google translate?”Rafe asked, staring at the paper. 

Kelce shook his head. “Nah, its not reliable. I tried using it for spanish class in freshman year and I got detention.”He replied. “Well thats definitely not spanish. Maybe its like…. Ancient text.”Topper suggested, causing you to frown. “I highly doubt that my mother would know an ancient text. 

Maybe we should just leave it.”You answered. Although you werent exactly satisfied with it you just didnt feel like spending your time trying to decode a random paper. They didnt seem satisfied either but didnt want to push you, putting the paper down on the desk where it would be safe from your footsteps. 

Of course the boys just couldnt stay at the same place for long periods of time, deciding to suggest that you guys go out to a store to get some paint for the boring walls. You agreed, the four of you getting into your car instead of Rafe’s truck, locking all the doors and windows before you left. 

Kelce didnt suggest a McDonalds run which caused you to frown, knowing that he was probably too stressed to want to eat. You guys went into Walmart with one goal, heading right for the paint section and looking at the wall of colors. “Lets get four colors and kind of just make it up as we go.”Kelce muttered, looking at all the different shades.

 “We could all pick one out.”Topper suggested, reaching forward and picking a bright green. You agreed, picking a shade of light purple, watching as Kelce picked the color toffee biscuits and Rafe went for cotton blue. You doubted any of the colors would actually look good together but that wasnt the point of the project. 

It was more about making the room look fun rather than nice. Kelce grabbed a few large paint brushes, the four of you leaving before you could get distracted by anything that you didnt need. Topper decided to get right to work, spilling some paint on the floor as he dragged the brush along the wall, creating bright stripes.

 “I have an artistic vision! Trust the process!”He exclaimed, feeling your judgemental eyes on him. You didnt say anything, watching Kelce struggle to connect his phone to your speaker, playing the first song on his playlist. 

Line without a hook. Topper looked over at you, almost like he was silently asking you if you had told the boys about his top secret playlist. You shrugged, not wanting to give anything away to the others.

 “Oh my god, I love this song.”Rafe dunked his brush in the light blue, making a smiley face on the wall. “Can I paint an onion?”He asked. You raised your eyebrows, not understanding why he wanted to put an onion on the wall. 

“Ogres are like onions! We have layers!”Kelce laughed. “Who is we? Are you an ogre, Kelce?”Topper asked, not taking his eyes off of the bright stripes, painting a circle on the top. “Topper Harry Katherine Thornton, are you painting a penis on my wall?”You asked, connecting the dots. 

He grinned, ignoring you. “Of course not.”He replied, painting frantically so that you couldnt stop him, green drops rolling down the wall. You picked up your paint brush, painting two circles quicklly before pushing the brush into the center of each, laughing to yourself.

 “Guys, really?”Rafe asked. “Cant we make the wall wholesome?”He asked. You shook your head, a smile on your face. “Says you of all people, Rafe.”You shook your head. “She got you there.”Topper replied, dragging the brush across the painting and blending it out so there was no longer a penis on your wall. 

“What are you doing now?”You asked, wanting to one up him. “What are you doing now?” He mocked you. Somehow you ended up splashing Topper with paint and getting tackled into the mattress as he held the paintbrush over you, trying to get the bright green liquid on your face while you held his arm back. 

“Im gonna murder you!”You laughed, rolling over under him so your face was against the mattress. “Im gonna paint your hair!”He laughed, holding the brush just above it. “Topper, dont mess with her hair.”Kelce took the brush away. 

Topper groaned, falling next to you on the mattress. His eyes were closed, the sun from the window casting a beautiful glow over his face, a small smile tugging at the side of his mouth. You pressed a kiss to his cheekbone, your arm resting on his torso. 

It didnt take long for painting to be forgotten, a few cheap bristles sticking to the wall with messes of colorful lines and unfilled shapes. The song changed, followed by a loud gasp from Rafe. “This is my favorite song!”He smiled, hitting his knees with his fists repeatedly. 

He didnt know what about it made him so happy, whenever he heard it it reminded him of you guys. “You know what we should do?”Topper asked. “No.”Kelce replied while Rafe rewinded the song to listen to his favorite part again. 

“We should make soup. Like, spicy soup with potatoes.”He replied, mouth watering. “We could just order soup.”Kelce replied, not in the mood to go downstairs and hunt for ingredients. “Order soup from where?”Topper asked. Kelce simply shrugged, shifting around and putting his arms under his body.

That had been a week ago. Since then a lot had happened. You guys had developed a system, Kelce could do his laundry on Saturdays, Rafe on Mondays and Topper’s just got mixed in with yours.

 It was a love and hate relationship to have them there with you. You didnt regret your decision but sometimes things would get difficult. Grocery shopping was the worst since nobody could decide what they wanted and you had all agreed not to eat out as much. 

“We need an actual meal, we cant just eat chips for everything.”Topper would grumble, realising he didnt even really know how to cook. That just lead to late flights of searching for recipes o pinterest and watching Gordon Ramsey tiktoks until they decided to try and make bake and shake chicken. That didnt really work out well, having to open all of your windows and get the smoke out of your house. 

Then you guys decided to take a new approach, finding a ton of frozen pizzas and ingredients for sushi. Kelce was the only one who had any idea of what he was doing since he had always been talented in the kitchen, specifically with breakfast. That became more of a safe meal for you guys, making extra food in the morning to eat later for dinner until you got sick of toast, eggs and bacon. 

Kelce ended up banishing you all to the pool so that he could decorate properly, vines hanging from the door ways and landscape tapestries hanging in your living room, hallway and your mother’s old bedroom. “How long do you think he’s gonna be?”You asked, floating on your back in the shallow end, letting out a yelp when Topper grabbed you and dragged you to the deep end. 

“I dont know, probably like three days.”He replied, finally letting go once you were in the middle of the pool. “We could survive three days in the pool.”You replied, watching Rafe shake his head. “With my allergy to the sun?”He asked, making you turn over, going underwater for a moment. “You dont even sunburn.”You told him, splashing water in his direction before swimming away quickly so that he couldnt get back at you.

 Kelce kept getting calls from his parents that were asking him to come home but he never did. They knew where he was, if they wanted him back so badly they’d drive over and take him away. “Guys, i’ve finished my creation.”Kelce announced, coming outside. “So we can come in now?”Topper asked, gripping the ledge of the pool and pulling himself out, falling onto his stomach as he struggled to get up.

 “Yes, you can come in now! Hurry!”Kelce yelled excitedly before going back inside, waiting impatiently for you guys to hurry. Rafe helped you out of the pool, tossing you your towel so that you wouldnt trail water through your house. “Guys! Come on!”Kelce shouted again, the three of you walking across the hot pavement quickly.

 “I’ll clean up the water after- just come see what I did!”He said again. You rolled your eyes, walking into the house. Goosebumps formed on y0our skin from the cool air, eyes widening as you looked at the kitchen. He had bought a plaid tablecloth for the table, vines hanging from the ceiling and doorways, a tie dye tapestry hanging in your living room. It looked like he had taken the time to wipe down every surface and vacuum any mess of broken spaghetti or eggshells that had been kicked under the fridge.

 “Do you like it?”He asked, unable to read your shocked expression. “Kelce, im gonna be honest with you. I feel like im in pixie hollow right now.”You grinned, making him smile. “I think thats a good thing- but upstairs is better!’He exclaimed before making his way up the stairs. He was right. 

There were marble heart shaped tiles hanging on the walls of the hall, a sign on the new hangout spot that was made out of drift wood. He opened the door, revealing bean bag chairs on the floor, a new carpet, a light yellow canopy hanging over the bed that had all new sheets and blankets on it as well. 

He had even somehow managed to fix the paint on the wall so that there were different colored polka dots all over it. The boys seemed equally impressed, still taking it in. You hugged Kelce, not even caring that you’d get his clothes wet. “So I did good?” He asked, hugging you back. “You always do good.”You replied, feeling him hug you tighter.

 ���So you’re happy?”He asked, letting out a small sigh when you nodded. “I am happy, Kelce.”you replied, kissing him lightly. He smiled against you, taking in a deep breath. “I found a new recipe for fancy grilled cheese.”He told you, kissing your forehead. This was something that you loved about having them live with you.

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