#<- insists this is a normal thing to think that doesn't mean anything in particular.

[clowndensation]

inesca's opinion on his comanions pre-skyhold. btw.

s tier:

vivienne holds a position that he respects immensely, and who treats him as someone worth knowing/who has the potential to be someone great, which has a HUGE impact on how he develops in the beginning in embracing his own agency as someone people will actually listen to. her opinion holds a lot of weight with him, and he's acutely aware she has her own agenda that she's attempting to "coach" him into (which he's actively attempting to encourage, for psychological reasons we can't get into right now), which also adds a very weird tension to their relationship, since he flips a coin every day on whether he feels validated or demeaned by being manipulated. she's easily one of the people he talks with most.

solas and inesca take turns being passive aggressively condescending to each other. inesca about solas's opinions on the dalish (gen z voice okay boomer flat ear <- used to be a flat ear himself), and solas just. in general. <3 but inesca is also really difficult to offend in a way that will lead him to escalating a disagreement, so a lot of their conversations have a lot of really charged wind up, before tapering out into an actual academic debate that they both end up enjoying (helped by the fact that inesca is 1. a history nerd so their conversations divert into weird directions 2. great at conceding a point.). a lot of their relationship is actually built on the fact that they're both very aligned in regards to priorities in the field. inesca's a bad fighter but a great healer, and his emphasis on helping out individuals wins him solas's respect, which in turn changes how academically removed inesca keeps himself in his debates. probably the slowest rise to s tier of the four in here.

cassandra he liked almost immediately, because she was willing to concede doubt over her own actions to him. this circles back to respect again, in that people valuing how he might view them is foreign to him, and he values them immensely in return. she's probably the first person he has a legitimately vulnerable conversation with, because she's so blunt it sets him at ease. he also just trains a lot with her, because he's Not A Great Fighter. camaraderie in getting thrown on your ass 8000 times a day 👍

josephine is niceys to him and also coaches him on politics :) he has absolutely no clue if she's being nice because she's a diplomat, or because they actually have some sort of bond, but having someone in the group of advisors who's main goal is facilitating relationships among fractured groups is huge for him. plus in the lead up to cotj i do think he goes through a decent amount of prep work on how to be a facilitator himself with the templars, and while ALL the advisors help with that, josephine is the only one inesca actually feels comfortable around.

a tier:

leliana could be s tier, but she scares him in a way that makes him uncertain where they stand with each other 😭. he respects her immensely, is uncomfortable with how blithely she views murder, and doesn't know how to have a conversation with her that doesn't serve a larger purpose for the goals of the inquisition, because anything else makes him feel like he's wasting her time. "coworker i would do anything for" vibes.

varric's also niceys to him :) he likes hearing his stories, and thinks he's good at easing tension, but they've got a more surface level relationship at this point in the story, because inesca hasn't reached his breaking point yet. he feels like he can trust and rely on varric, so he's high on the list, but it's a purely vibes based relationship atm.

b tier

cole was in his head while envy went through inesca's memories 👍 that's scary and offputting when you're hyper repressed and have a complicated relationship with your own self worth, but you can't help but trust a man who's been inside you and still calls you the next morning. you know how it is.

cullen is cassandra but a man, so inesca likes and trusts him less (#misandry). they've got a business relationship, but inesca's personal templar experience makes him hesitant to actually warm up to cullen atm.

c tier

sera he WANTS to be friends with. he likes her! he agrees with her overall viewpoint! or if not agrees, at least doesn't disagree. she just makes him feel the most self conscious of all his companions, because he's constantly saying things she seems to find offputting. he's used to people arguing with him when they disagree with him, but she basically just calls him names and shuts the conversation down, which he doesn't know how to recover from. two people who have absolutely no idea where they stand with each other. </3

iron bull he's neutral on. he doesn't know him well enough to really have an opinion, because he's the newest recruit inesca brought on (after cole, who was In His Head, so that's different). he SEEMS nice enough, but also he's a qunari spy who keeps asking follow up questions to things inesca would prefer remain unspoken. uneasy relationship.

blackwall he also doesn't know very well. i think they end up bonding over woodcarving later, but as of right now blackwall is a hero-figure who inesca doesn't really know what to do with. he's doing grey warden favors for him, but doesn't know him personally. distant coworker.

misc

dorian i didn't put on the tier list because he's not a companion for inesca yet. their first meeting inesca doesn't like him. too prone to showboating and theatrics in a way inesca finds offputting. doesn't understand how his meeting with fiona turned into talking with a bunch of guys from tevinter (#misandry take 2). unimpressed. would be d tier if i were to place him, but it's simply not a fair ranking because inesca Does Not Know That Guy. although considering dorian greatly disapproves if you do cotj instead of ihw, i do think they mutually start off on the wrong foot with each other.

[katsu2ji]

mha boys + their fav thing to do with you (or for you) during the holiday season

a/n: it's my favorite time of the year <3 merry christmas to those who celebrate!! posting this on christmas eve, i hope everyone has the best day <3 ily!

izuku: baking christmas cookies

izuku makes the BEST deserts. his mother taught him when he was young and although he was reluctant to learn at first ("mom, i’m sorry but learning how to make the perfect pie is not my biggest concern right now..."), it's now a skill he's come to appreciate—especially when you're involved. one of his favorite things to do with you, at any point in the year but especially during christmas, is baking cookies—or rather, he's do most of the baking while you're sitting on the countertop watching him do so. there's christmas jazz playing through the space as you both talk about your days, laughing and making a mess that neither of you are too worried about cleaning in the moment. he gives you the spoons to lick when he's finished with them, smiling when you nod your approval of the taste. while they're in the oven, you two dance in the low kitchen light; it's not graceful, by any means, but it's silly and stupid and makes you both feel as though you're the only ones in the world. this warm, love filled kitchen on a cold winter's night, just for the two of you.

katsuki: decorating with you

katsuki would never admit it, but he takes his christmas decorating very seriously. he insists that if you're going to decorate for the holidays, you might as well make it look nice. you ask him to take down the christmas decorations from storage and while he pretends to find the task annoying, he actually is looking forward to doing this with you. he loves seeing how excited you get when he plugs in the lights on the tree and watch as they light up the dark living room, or how much you love the small task of switching out the normal pillows on the couch for the winter themed ones. his favorite part about it all, however, is putting up the ornaments; together you've collected a few over the years, some more heartfelt while others are silly inside jokes between the two of you. he teases you when you put one in a spot he doesn't agree with ("why the fuck did you put it there, that's ugly." "katsuki, no it's not!" "yes the hell it is, move it over here.") and you know it's all lighthearted as you laugh at the faces he makes about your "questionable" placements. this is all such a temporary thing, he knows—the decorations will only be up for about a month and a half, if that. but it's special for him. a time where he can forget about the rest of the world; where he only has to focus on you and your terrible (but endearing) tree decorating skills.

shoto: christmas shopping

when you two go out shopping together, he takes note of anything that you point out and like. later, he comes back after a patrol shift; he tells you he's picking up dinner, and while that's not a total lie and he is going to bring home something, he also needed to make time to pick up your gifts. he has never felt as though he's very good with words, but gifts he can do. and he never stops at one, of course—he makes sure you have a lot. he fills the space under the tree with them, all addressed to you; just when you think there couldn't be any more, you come home to find another two of three presents has been added. he starts his gift shopping earlier in the year, getting things here and there when he can. by december 1st, he's gotten pretty much everything he's been looking for, and he asks fuyumi and his mom to help him wrap them nicely for you (wrapping gifts is unfortunately NOT his strong suit). he's even particular about the wrapping paper he uses, not caring that it's more expensive than others on the market or that it's going to be ripped; these are gifts for you, for christ's sake. he's going to make sure that everything is perfect—that you have the best christmas, every christmas.

eijiro: walking out in the snow

eijiro loves the snow, and he loves the holiday season even more. he loves how magical everything is this time of year, how carefree life feels. when the first snowfall comes one evening, he's making sure both your puffer jacket and his is zipped up all the way and that you're nice and toasty, before practically running outside. you two go for a walk through the city, admiring the way the snow blankets everything around you and makes the world seem softer, lighter. when a breeze comes by, he huddles impossibly closer to you, grabbing your hands and holding them in his coat pocket to warm you up. you two stop at the windows of decorated shops, watching the little toy trains and miniature christmas towns on display in the stores. he looks at your reflection in the window and grins, happy and content, even as the frigid air makes him feel as though he wants to sit in a furnace. he loves moments like these. it's a simple and mundane thing, taking a walk, but something about doing it with you, in an atmosphere that looks as though you've both stepped right into a christmas town in a fairytale, makes him wish for a white christmas every year.

hanta: watching christmas movies

before he met you, hanta had never made it a point to watch christmas movies, really. now, however, it's his favorite tradition. he looks forward to the evenings when the two of you change into your matching christmas-themed pajama pants, having bought them just for the occasion. you go into the kitchen to make hot chocolate while he scrolls through the movie selection, attempting to put on the corniest, dumbest, most cliche hallmark holiday movie he can find. the whole time you both are cuddled on the couch, leaning against each other as you watch the movie together, making fun of the bad acting, the overdone movie tropes, and every other menial detail. you laugh at all the jokes he makes, all the small things he notices and points out to you. the first movie ends, and before either of you can stop yourselves, you've both fallen asleep together on the couch halfway through the third. it's a quiet night, the only sounds being the quiet noise of the still-playing movie and the soft snores of the two of you. when he wakes up first, he doesn't make any effort to wake you immediately, instead opting to watch you sleep peacefully against him. "this is what the holidays are about" he thought, as cheesy as it sounds. he didn't need anything more; he wasn't sure it could be any better than this.

katsu2ji © 2024. please don't copy, modify, or do anything of the sort with my work! i work very hard and you simply do not have my permission.

[etherfabric]

Directions from Your Higher Self

Choose a pile by which picture you resonate with the most.

If your mind is too busy to clearly decide, take a few deep breaths, and use the finger of your non-dominant hand to hover over the images. One will give off the most subtle yet prominent signals, like tingles, a magnetic pull, or temperature. This is your pile. Multiples are also possible.

Pile 1

The Star, The Moon

You started to believe in miracles, and are now scared shitless. No small expectations keeping you safe from disappointment anymore. You got a taste of what magic feels like, and now fear dullness like the plague. Two things: You are allowed to have boring days, that doesn't mean the magic is gone. It can't be Christmas everyday. You would get sick of the lights eventually, believe me. And the other thing: That's why they say that victimhood can be a kind of safety blanket. If you already expect only crap from life, there is no horrible suspense anymore. But now... you can't go back. Even if you try it.

This is an icky phase of metamorphosis. It's normal that it feels disorienting and like you can't make sense of anything anymore. Do soothing stuff, calming habits, be around safe people. And spoiler: This is about embracing your humanity in a whole new depth. Don't worry, it will feel supernatural again soon enough. But for now, practice being plain, while also weaving your belief in miracles into it. Challenging, yes, but nothing you can't handle. You got this.

Pile 2

The Moon, 3 of Pentacles

Nothing you put energy or effort into seems to yield anything. It feels like punching in slowmotion, nightmarish. Hitting no one who needs to feel your hits. Newsflash: This is not a time for work! Get soft, dammit. You can't experience rest while still trying to prove something. No one is watching. You are being your own cruel audience, and boo yourself into despair. What are you aiming at? Who convinced you that particular thing is the sole hope for you to be happy ever again?

I love you, you are me, I am you, but I can't let you go on like this. Not with what lies ahead of us. If you only knew how easy things will get. How many fears will never come true. How much lighter you could afford to be. How much love you already deserve. But you have to dare opening your arms, and put the tools down. The monuments you try to erect are aimed at Gods you won't believe in anymore once you experience your feminine side as a gift, and not a curse. Grindset? Grind your teeth while napping, if you have to. But this is bigger than your egotistical, temporal ambitions. You need to do it slow, and I won't stop insisting. Because I can see more than you. You will have no choice but trusting me on this one.

Pile 3

The Emperor, The Devil

Have you heard of this awesome thing called "free will"? Let's take that baby for a ride. Use 3 spoons for the same meal. Lie on the floor of your hallway and recite a song. Buy a stranger a magazine about trains. Take a pair of scissors to your least favorite shirt. Name your nail polishes after famous people. The possibilities are literally endless, but yet you rotate the same 7 things. They will stay ready for when you need them next, but let's shake it up a little, huh? No wonder you feel trapped and stuck. But YOU make the rules, at the end of the day. Yes, there are outer limitations you have no influence over, but even in a literal cage, you can decide what you think, or how you sit, or what notes you hum, or what shadow figures you make with your hands.

The thing itself is meaningless - it's about you experiencing being a CREATOR. Not just a servant to others. I don't care if it's throwing a paper plane into your bathtub, or quitting your job and disappearing to Nepal - but we crave novelty and agency. Deeply. Break the self-imposed limits, any of them. Just to feel what it feels like. It's more rewarding than you imagine.

Pile 4

The Hanged Man, 2 of Cups

Oh shucks. You like someone. It happened. And you can't cancel it willynilly. Suppression has run its course, and now you have to face the embarrassment of having a heart with a need to connect and love. This has completely ruined your illusion of sovereignty you so deeply depended on to feel safe in the world. What now? Where will it lead? What does it mean? What will happen next? Do they like me? Do they think of me? Do they think of me badly? Why do I think about them? Is this me being brave, or pathetic? Is there a true difference?...

The questions don't stop, and you know what - they shouldn't. This is less about the "result" of this connection (I know, boo me, because this is your hyperfixation above all, despite not ever admitting it) and more about getting you out of your shell to be curious about yourself again. The heart needs to be open, and these fears and doubts have been there for a long time already. You are ready to face them, examine them, and learn more about yourself than any flavour of aloofness could ever teach you. I know you hate it, but I can also see the faint giggly twinkle in your soul from up here, buried under all this denial and acting tough. And that's the most scary part for you. That you actually like someone, like, in THAT way. How scary that life has no guarantees, but coming to peace with that truth will serve you much more than any relationship ever could.

[moongothic]

Rereading Dressrosa for the first time in quite a few years, after having become a Crocodad Truther specifically, was a really interesting experience, mainly due to the relationship between Kyros and Rebecca and Luffy's very strong feelings about those two in particular

Starting with the latter point; watching Luffy get really passionate about making sure Rebecca reunited with her father, instead of the two never seeing each other again as Kyros had planned, was just really facinating to me.

Now there ARE layers to this; Luffy saw first hand how much Rebecca and Kyros love each. Even if he didn't know or understand all the details, he knew these two were family forced to live apart due to Doflamingo's rule and that, even though Rebecca didn't know Mr Soldier was her father all those years, he still looked after her and did all he could to protect her. Luffy understands how much they matter to each other. Luffy also gets that Kyros was trying to make a sacrifice out of self-loathing; Kyros saw himself as a bloodstained monster who did not deserve to be by his daughter's side, thus his insistence on them going their separate ways. But not only is that "sacrifice out of loathing" not a thing One Piece rewards within the narrative*, but Luffy emotionally understands what Kyros was trying to do was stupid as hell. *(See; Robin trying to save the crew in the CP9 Saga, Sanji trying to offer his head to Kuma to spare everyone else (because he saw himself as the "least worthy", compared to Zoro who believed he was the only one who could actually tank Kuma and survive), Sanji again during Whole Cake Island, etc)

Adding to that, in what I feel also harkens back to Alabasta (vaguely important since Dressrosa in many ways is a reflection of Alabasta); Vivi made her decision to stay in her home because that's what she wanted deep in her heart, because she loved her country. Just the same way, dethroning Doflamingo, getting revenge for her mother and reuniting with her extended family were all fine achievements. But all Rebecca wanted deep in her heart was to stay with Mr Soldier (regardless if he was her father or not). That's what mattered the most to her.

How could Luffy even think about leaving without making sure Rebecca was able decide on her own if she wanted to stay with her father, instead of him making that decision for her, not because it was truly "for the best", but out of Kyros' own guilt and self-loathing.

All of that to say; Luffy becoming so emotionally involved in Rebecca and Kyros' father-daughter relationship is perfectly normal and on-brand for him, it's not strange at all.

...At the same time. I could not help but to wonder if those two's relationship could somehow reflect Luffy's relationship with his estranged parent(s), and more importantly, kind of debunk the fandom idea of Luffy as someone who 100% does not care if people are related or not and has ZERO interest in Dragon etc

Like I have discussed this before but I've been meta posting for so long on here I'll repeat myself just a lil; I feel like it's less "Luffy doesn't care Dragon is his father" and more "Luffy doesn't know HOW to feel about Dragon". We don't know what Garp told Luffy about his parent(s), presumably and based on the conversation post-Enies Lobby it just seems like Garp never mentioned ANYTHING to Luffy? Like he didn't even tell Luffy a white lie about why his parents weren't there for him? We simply do not know. But what we do know is these three things: 1. Luffy hates being alone, even more than "being hurt". Being alone is his worst fear 2. Although Garp was responsible for raising Luffy, he wasn't always there, meaning other townspeople and Shanks' crew alike were equally "responsible" for looking after Luffy. 3. Meaning Luffy was essentially an orphan. Fans will joke about Luffy's surprise at him having a father being because he's stupid, an asexy and doesn't know where babies come from, and while I may not be fully able to debunk that conceptually. Like. It's just as possible that because Luffy was raised like an orphan, he might have assumed that either his parents were dead or had abandoned him because they didn't want him. And I'm going to argue that if that's what Luffy always assumed was what happened, yeah, it'd contribute to his fear of being alone. It'd explain why he'd be surprised to find out he actually does have a father out there somewhere. And yeah, Luffy might not know how to feel about Dragon if that's the case. Should he hate Dragon because he wasn't ever there for him (from Luffy's POV)? Why wasn't Dragon there for him? Did he really not want Luffy, or did he have some reason for leaving Luffy? What is he like anyways, is he nice or cool or a dickbag?? Should Luffy even care about any of that stuff??? All of that to say; I don't think Luffy is completely disinterested in Dragon, I think he doesn't know how to feel or think about Dragon, and it's not relevant to Luffy right now anyways because Dragon's like, out there somewhere while Luffy is on his journey. Where as, if Luffy were to meet Dragon, get to know what he's like, why he wasn't there for Luffy and most importantly, how he feels about his only son (does he care about Luffy and his wellbeing? Is he a Kyros or a Kaidou?)- yeah, I think then Luffy COULD learn to be interested in Dragon and care about him Not out of obligation (because of their blood) but out of Luffy's own will, out of Luffy's acknowledgement of Dragon's love for him

And yeah, then we get to add the ever-delightful layer of Crocodad Trutherism to this mess.

You know how my personal theory goes; that Crocodile's been trying to find a way to overthrow and nuke the WG (potentially with an Ancient Weapon) to make sure his long lost child would be able to live freely and do whatever the hell he wanted without having to fear the WG would ever target him because he has Evil Revolutionary Leader Blood coursing through his veins. That's what makes the most sense to me as Crocodile's ultimate motivation. To protect his child, no matter the cost, even if he had to become the devil himself.

And hey, what was the story between Kyros and Rebecca again? Kyros trying to overthrow a corrupt government (a fallen Tenryuubito to boot) to protect his child so she could live freely without having a target on her back?

I don't need to explain how One Piece does have repeating themes and motifs, surely. (Also there's something to be said about fathers in One Piece who would go to hell and back for their daughters, Kuma being another example, but that's a whole different essay. But Oda's Girl-Dad Agenda is showing)

But yeah, what's even more interesting here is how Kyros believed he didn't deserve to have a reunion with Rebecca. He commited a murder decades ago, and although everyone else seems to have forgiven him for that crime, Kyros himself still thinks of himself as a horrible murderer with bloodstained hands. Not helped by how Kyros thought him teaching Rebecca self-defence skills was a failure on his part as a father (instead of him doing all he could in the horrible situation they were stuck in; teaching Rebecca how to defend herself was absolutely justified, and Kyros shouldn't have blamed himself for anything there).

Kyros didn't think he deserved to be with his daughter because he wasn't a good father, because was a monster. And Kyros could not believe anything other than that until Rebecca essentially forgave him, by explicitly telling him she wanted them to stay side-by-side. That she wanted him, and no one fucking else, as her father.

And I once again repeat myself just a little as I ask; how would Luffy feel if he found out Crocodile was his father? How would Luffy feel if he found out the reason Crocodile was going to destroy Vivi's country was because he was trying to protect his son from the WG? And that son was Luffy himself? How would Luffy feel that the asshole who stabbed him through the gut, mummified him and poisoned him was his very own family? Who also saved Luffy's life the second he learned of their blood connection? How would Luffy feel in that situation, if he found out Crocodile cares about Luffy, and wants him to be okay? And how does Crocodile feel? After stabbing Luffy through the gut, mummifying him and poisoning the brat, does Crocodile feel like he has any right to call himself Luffy's parent, let alone father? He knows Luffy rightfully hates him for all the horrible things he has done, how could Luffy ever accept him?

The past is in the past and it can't be changed. But you always have the choise, the free will, to change yourself and become a better person. You can choose to do better things, to help others and be kinder. You can have a second chance.

Robin was given a second chance. Hacchi was given one too. Kyros was given that chance to become better. So why not Crocodile?

[dreamerinthemoonlight]

Love and Deepspace Guys with an S/O that Craves Affection

Original Ask:

੭ ᐕ)੭*⁾⁾hii! i just wanted to say that i lov your works, especially the love and deepspace hcs, and i wanted to request the Love and deepspace boys with a reader who craves attention and love because they never got it from their family.

thxx have a wonderful dayy!

CW: none? Maybe hurt/comfort, gn!reader

A/N: hoenstly, this one was a little rougher to write. Not that I mind, but I'm fairly familiar with the feeling, and dredging up old BS is never fun. That said, I like imagining our boys in these kinds of situations. It's very theraputic

Requests are OPEN

Rafayel

Honestly, I think of the boys, he's the person who would have the hardest time

It's not that he's not affectionate, but part of his personality is that indirect, teasing method of communication

In this particular situation, I feel like you would need a very direct form of affection

I do think fish boy would be very willing to I've that affection, especially in a physical form. He seems like the sort who would really enjoy cuddles, but getting praise and affection directly is not going to be as easy

If you're direct about your needs, however, he will do his best. He doesn't want to alienate you and he really does want to give you the best he can

On the other hand, 100% expect him to give your family no respect whatsoever. Raf is totally willing to be rude and even more aloof than he is normally and he may very well not even give them the time of day

Your family wants to visit? Nah. He's just going to recommend a visit to the beach instead. If you are, somehow, on good terms with your parents he's going to take a lot of persuading to get into the same room, much less be cordial. Granted, it's hard enough to get him to consider a social engagement to start with, so that's not really a deviation from normal behavior

Xavier

Sweet, sweet, sleepy Xavi is the exact opposite of Raf. He is amazing at this, in part because affection comes very easy to him--at least after you get together

He is super fond of cuddles and time spent together and anything like that, so giving it is a natural extension of that

I will say, he's not as verbally expressive (it's kinda hard when he sleeps so much) but given that his favorite pillow is probably you, I think the point gets across quite well

The one downside is that sometimes you can be feeling particularly in need of attention and affection and well, he's asleep. Or at work. But probably asleep, so he's a bit unaware

Of course, he's totally down if you tuck yourself under his arm and cuddle anyway, but sometimes you need him awake

But he's fairly aware of this and insists that you communicate and wake him up if need be. And he will at least try to stay awake. No guarantees (I mean how the fuck does he manage to sleep standing up?), but he'll try

Zayne

Zayne is actually hard for me to peg, despite him being 100% my bias

For Zayne, action trumps words. He's a quiet person, but he's actually very demonstrative

He's also very cerebral about it and observant, so he may very well pick up on your need for attention and love before you're even aware of it yourself

He does research and definitely recommends therapy. He's well aware that it can be difficult to fulfill your needs because, well, overtime

He's a workaholic and that habit is hard to break, especially with his own issues and his care for his patients

That being said, when you're in the same place, expect a lot of affection

Whether it's holding hands, or a hand around your waist, or little things like taking care of your physical well being. He has this knack for making you feel seen and safe and cared for without verbally expressing his emotions

He also makes sure you know that if you need to call, you can. If he's free he'll never ignore you and get back to you as soon as possible

[dontbelasagnax]

*curling like a cat against your ankles* Lasaganie, more Codywan headcanons?? 🥺👉👈 (only if you gave them/want to share of course. thank you, you’re amazing and I love you :3c)

I am late but I come bearing gifts in the shape of the codywan headcanons you asked for!!! And I love you too 🫶

- In a no order 66 setting, Obi-Wan has a caf mug that he considers to be Cody's. This would be normal except Obi-Wan bought it during the war and always meant to find the occasion to give it to him but never got around to it. That's to say he's exceedingly normal about this cup. Especially when Cody starts spending time around his apartment and Obi-Wan serves him caf in it. For the first time. Then all the other times as well. Feeling his heart crack open seeing Cody with His Designated Mug. A mug Obi-Wan's perhaps had too much time to place too much sentimental value onto. He's perfectly normal about it and doesn't act weird at all.

(more headcanons under the cut. it's a bit long)

- Cody is a hopeless romantic but won't ever admit it. He loves romance novels and holofilms. From trashy to highly acclaimed, sweet to stuffed with depravity, he enjoys them all. They're just a spot of escapism for him. A fantastical tale to distract himself from the toll of war when the night cycle is quiet and grief is loud. The stories are all so wildly outlandishly unrealistic to him. He's a clone. There's no future for him outside his role in the war effort.

And then one fateful campaign they're on their feet for a full tenday before they encounter an outcropping with flora and fauna that, finally, aren't actively trying to kill them and they are able to set up a tentative base of operation while planetside.

General Kenobi insists everyone rest while they can. Cody lost his bedroll to some sort of carnivorous plant along the way. General Kenobi acts like it's an affront to his very livelihood when Cody tries to sleep on the ground of their shared tent. Cody is tired. He doesn't have the energy to fight back on something so stupid. Which means they have to share a bedroll. His general's bedroll. Where they're physically incapable of both laying on the little mat unless they're plastered together. Cuddling.

It's the best sleep of his life.

...Exactly like how the romance novels describe it.

He's not dumb. He's been aware that he's in love with his general. He just thought the romance novels were all embellishing to a ridiculous degree and none of it was actually... realistic.

But if the romance novels are right about this, what else is just as magical in reality?

And maybe, just maybe, could there be some hope for a glimmer of a chance for him to pursue something else with Obi-Wan after the war, if they both make it that far?

- I am fully of the belief that, in a Tatooine husbands setting, the husband bit is a complete accident. Ben is stopping by for a quick pantry restock at the Pica Oaisis marketplace when it happens. He's lived at his hut long enough for the vendors here to have a familiarity with him so it's not exactly a surprise when one says to him, "Who's the shadow of a fella that's hangin' with you lately?" They mean well, he knows. And still, it's his business. He thinks his answer is quite crafty.

He says, "He's my partner," and leaves it at that. Partner could mean anything. Alas, either an older man living in an isolated hut with another older man implies a particular thing about their relationship or the vendors have a flair for the romantic because he quickly comes to discover on his next trips to the marketplace that he has a husband. Of all the assumptions one could make, it's certainly the most harmless and... he finds he likes it. Being seen as Cody's husband. It's all awfully embarrassing and he doesn't dare tell Cody any of it.

Cody discovers it for himself a few weeks later on a solo trip to the market to pick up some feed for Rooh.

"Here to do your husband's bidding?" a vendor asks and Cody blinks.

He blinks again. "Come again?" he says.

"Ben your husband; you're running his errand?"

His first instinct is to correct them, tell them he and Ben aren't married. But how would he even begin describe their relationship? After a few seconds deliberating he decides he's better off going with it. What harm could it do? Besides, on the ride home, he finds he kind of likes it.

And that's how they become husbands. Well, the beginning of it, anyhow.

[ptn-imagines]

Any thoughts on what a romantic relationship with Countess Chelsea would be like? 🥺 Thank you very much for your hard work, you're doing great 💛

Thank you for your kind words! As a matter of fact, I've thought about this often... You didn't specify, so I just wrote for Chief!Reader!

Romantic relationship between Countess Chelsea and Chief

It’s a relationship that surprises even the Chief themself, though they’re firm on one thing with Chelsea: they’re her partner, not her sugar baby. Please stop asking.

Chelsea does, in fact, stop asking, but not for the reasons you might think. Rather, she has everything she wants already; it’s normal to spoil your partner, isn't it? Why risk upsetting her beloved Chief over it?

This naturally means that Chief has to set boundaries very quickly, firmly stating that if Chelsea can't respect them, their relationship won't continue.

Chelsea pouts about it, but ultimately, her love for Chief wins out and she backs off.

Well, somewhat. She'll still buy the Chief a multitude of fancy and expensive gifts and shower them in gems, at first. Over time, as her relationship with the Chief develops, she'll swap from attaining gifts for Chief with her money to attaining opportunities for Chief with her influence. She's not afraid of using her power to lean on some influential people, and Chief will find themself having more free time than ever before.

Of course, when many of these outing opportunities inevitably turn into Mania incidents, Chelsea is fiercely loyal and protective. Sitri is always at Chief's side. If there are humans, not just Corruptors and Mania entities, involved in the crisis, if anyone tries to hurt the Chief… Chelsea will take care of them.

Chelsea doesn't take pleasure in making people disappear, but they're giving more worth to society as pretty gemstone statues anyway…

This behavior is the source of many disagreements between Chelsea and Chief, and is probably the biggest threat to their relationship. Chief absolutely hates this method of protecting them, but Chelsea is stubborn. Then again, so is Chief – plus they know that to some degree, it's an instinctive reaction triggered by Chelsea's Mania. They want to help Chelsea improve, but they know that it's not going to happen overnight.

In the occasional moments where Chief retires early, they like to visit Chelsea in her cell. The Countess is always incredibly excited and insists on Chief staying the night. When Chief answers that it's not allowed, she pouts and asks to at least cuddle Chief for a bit and help them get ready for bed. This, at least, is something Chief agrees to; it's something that thrills Chelsea too, since Chief doesn't usually let her be super physically affectionate during the day. She'll take these chances to plant soooo many kisses over her beloved Chief.

Mostly, affection during the day is limited to moments where Chelsea feels compelled to “mark her territory.” She's a jealous type, but can mostly restrain her reaction to other Sinners’ flirting to huffs and puffs and pouts… Except for a few Sinners that tend to cross a line for her.

Take Eirene, for example. The Countess despises Quinn's president in particular. Chelsea isn't blind to how Eirene treats her darling Chief as a pawn or property, and she's not afraid to get hissy when confronting the S-Rank, telling her to keep her paws off her Chief! Eirene never listens, though, which leads to common and heated altercations between the two. Chief has to keep them both separated for their own safety, though they're secretly touched at how far Chelsea is willing to go to defend them.

Whenever Chief sends her on a dispatch mission, Chelsea begs for the Chief to come with her. Usually, Chief has to decline, much to the Countess's disappointment, but on the rare occasion the Chief is actually able to accompany her, Chelsea never shows anything less than perfect performance.

Chelsea is also way too comfortable with barging into the Chief's office unannounced. She's hardly the only one, but she's definitely one of the most noticeable – constantly trying to sweep Chief away from their work to spend time with her. It's both distracting and endearing.

Oh, and Chelsea has planned the wedding out down to the last detail, of course. Chief nearly had a heart attack when she announced her plans, and reminded her that they weren't even engaged.

Chelsea tried to propose then and there, and has done so several times after as well, in exceedingly romantic gestures. Chief has said no each time, much to the Countess's profound disappointment, but… Honestly, if not for their job? They would've said yes already.

Sometimes, Chief wonders if they're doing Chelsea a disservice by being with her when their job demands so much of their time… But Chelsea always shushes them, saying that as long as she can have them, nothing else matters…

…Though if Chief wanted to quit, she wouldn't object to providing for them. This usually gets a fond eye roll and a gentle slap on the wrist from Chief.

[gepardling]

market day w/ gepard.

desc. : Something small that someone suggested i write. Going to a market day with your loverboy gepard :) (wc : 600 )

tags / cw : sfw, just fluff, doing shopping with geppie !! not proofread

○ It’s a market day !!

○ And you’re going with Gepard !!!!

○ Waaayyy more exciting than your usual grocery shopping, okay? I mean, Geppie can’t usually join you on those trips because he’s working when u have to buy stuff :(( but it’s okay, he always leaves you a list of things to buy and some money if he doesn’t get to see you beforehand 

○ This particular market day is special, hosted in celebration of the end of the stellaron crisis on Jarilo-VI. Many of the soldiers could actually return home to their families for a quick reprieve

○ Gepard gets the day off to partake in the festivities, which is absolutely HUGE given how he's normally busy and you don't get to spend much time together outside of home… Naturally, your face immediately lights up at the news that he's joining you ♥︎

○ The market is quite different from something you’d expect of Belobog. There’s a million different colors and scents lingering about the air, and the chatter of visitors bustling around is much livelier than usual.

○ You spend the day dragging Gepard around by his arm, visiting every stall and trying almost ALL the food available. Your lover merely let you tug him about as you please, he was content just watching the way your expression changed from mild curiosity to morbid surprise when you tried a dish that was a little too sour for your liking ♥︎ 

○ He might be a little too generous as well (Captain’s salary?) and almost ends up buying you one of everything that you lay your eyes upon. Though he did practice some self-restraint, urging that you “really don’t need it” when you brought him to the 15th perfume stall there.

○ You also have a habit of making him smell soaps with you, trying to discern which fragrance is superior before you end up taking all of them anyway.

○ After you parade him around for a while, Gepard starts to emerge from his shell and takes you to see things that catch his fancy too. He spends a lot of time around the botanist, in particular, as well as various candle merchants and fresh produce stalls. 

○ Listen – I'd like to think that Gepard is fond of candles. You know, lighting a few up at the end of a long day, just relaxing in their gentle glow. I don't think it's something he'd be vocal about, and it's definitely a habit he learned from someone else. But it's cute nonetheless :(( ♥︎ Bonus if the candles are scented

○ You probably end up leaving the market with too much to carry – soaps, perfume, house plants, candles, food… While the day was fun, seeing how you overspent makes you wonder how you're gonna make space for all these new things in your home :((

○ But it doesn't matter !! Geppie always makes a plan. And to be honest, this market was super beneficial for the both of you (maybe more practical for him than for you, seeing as he actually bought groceries too)

○ He ends up carrying almost all the goods too, cuz he insists he’ll hold it so you don’t have to :(( He’s such a gentleman, almost to a fault... the most you can do is fret over him but even then he denies your help... so stubborn !!

○ One bad placement almost sends the pile of parcels to the ground ! But luckily Gepard is quick on his feet and manages to prevent anything from dropping.

○ His face is burning at the slight blunder but at least he lets you carry some of the stuff now to help him out ♥︎ when you two get home it's an absolute relief that everything is still in one piece

u guys know those craft markets,,, yeah,,,,, i had 2 thumbsuck sum reason for there 2 b one but u know what !! i can do what i want. market day.

[mllemaenad]

Wait, I'm confused - if the Institute succeeded in the goal of the original FEV trials by creating synths, why on earth are they still doing FEV experiments right up until Dr Virgil leaves?

I mean, you're not any more confused than the people doing the research. The terminal entries all contain complaints about how pointless this is. :)

But okay. What's actually going on there? Two things, I think.

First off: just because you've successfully completed a project doesn't mean it's done forever. They first rolled out power armour in 2067, but people keep making new kinds of power armour (I wish they'd stop. I hate power armour. But they do.). Research and development on synths is still ongoing – it's just handled by the Robotics department. They're likely still using FEV, but it's just one tool in their kit, rather than the focus of their work.

Nothing new. Always the same. Have entered formal complaint with Directorate; these tests are not bringing in any valuable information. The organics project was spun off decades ago. Why do we insist on continuing this? – Virgil's notes, Progress Reports, Fallout 4

So why are they doing anything with it? Well, I think the first clue comes from the entry from Virgil's predecessor, Syverson:

Latest round of testing complete. Results are all within expected parameters. Informed Dr. Zimmer directly, as he had ordered the tests personally. He seemed annoyed with the results; unsure what he was looking for. He declined to specify why he wanted the tests run to begin with. – Syverson's notes, Progress Reports, Fallout 4

We know Zimmer. He was the head of the Synth Retention Bureau. More importantly, he's a character from Fallout 3. Zimmer was part of the quest The Replicated Man, and was specifically in the Capital Wasteland hunting down an escaped courser: A3-21, now going by Harkness. And Harkness is apparently a unique prototype:

This particular android… Designation A3-21, is… different. Special. The most advanced synthetic humanoid I've ever developed. The others, like my escort Armitage there, are all older models. Easily replicated. Ah, but A3-21… it would take years to recreate him! So you see, this android MUST be located. At all costs. The others are all… acceptable losses. But A3-21, he is… irreplaceable. – Dr Zimmer's dialogue, Fallout 3

Zimmer ordered a round of FEV tests, apparently shortly before taking off to Rivet City to attempt to recapture Harkness. What were they for? Well, we can't know exactly, which is kind of the point. FEV research at the Institute has been thoroughly sidelined in favour of "the organics project" so these people are being treated as lackeys and very much left out of the loop. This is at minimum a Robotics project, and may even be some courser-specific SRB-only thing.

We can make some guesses, though.

One possibility is that they were being used as an early phase of testing. Synths in general are valuable: the Institute aims to recapture any gen-3 synth who escapes. A courser would be more valuable still. And Harkness is apparently unique.

We do know that the Institute uses synths for medical testing, but there have to be some rational degrees of risk. Kill a synth, and you will need to use resources to replace them. Kill a kidnapped wastelander and ... well, from the Institute's point of view that's no great loss. If this was a project aimed at improving their more expensive synths (the coursers) then there would be a strong argument for limiting their risk.

This could have been a strain of FEV modified to do something in particular, and they were dosing wastelanders with it first to see if it was lethal or not before they tried it out on a synth.

If this is the case, Zimmer clearly did not get the results he wanted out of the test.

Another possibility is that they were a control group. This was just a normal round of FEV testing, and it's meant to be contrasted with some other thing Zimmer is doing. Again, he clearly didn't get the results he wanted from the tests – but we can't know exactly what he was doing, beyond the fact that he seemed to be working to enhance courser ability and had created at least one prototype.

So, yes, I think that's part of it. The FEV department was being used as a secondary lab for the now more valuable Robotics department, but they largely had no idea what they're doing or where their work fit into the larger picture. This would, yes, be terribly unsatisfying work to be involved in.

But they clearly continued doing these tests even after Zimmer's disappearance, and we don't have strong evidence for SRB involvement once he was gone. So that's the second thing. Because, well, making super mutants was sort of an end in itself, wasn't it?

One of the Institute's major strategies is keeping the Commonwealth in a permanent state of disarray so they can't unite against them. The Sole Survivor eventually pulls at least one faction together enough to do just that – and unless you sell out to them, they go boom.

They use synths for specialist work: Gen-3s to go in and replace wastelanders in order to either spy or run experiments; Gen-1 and Gen-2s to harrass, or to retrieve specific tech, like at University Point. But if you don't have a specific mission in mind and just want to give everyone a very bad day ... well, super mutants are great for that. Low cost to the Institute, because they already have the FEV and kidnapping does not seem to be difficult for them. Maximum grief and chaos for the people on the surface.

And yes, this too would be deeply unsatisfying work. Even setting aside how morally abhorrent all of this, you're not even doing science anymore. You're just in manufacturing. Collect human; dip human; release super mutant. That's got to be an exercise in misery.

But that's exactly how this played out, didn't it? Virgil rebelled after failing to get the project shut down any normal way, and the whole thing was shuttered.

So I do think "confusion" is a reasonable response to the Institute's continued FEV research – but I do think they were doing something with it.

[moodymisty]

Wow! Congrats on 1k followers!! Your writing is always a delight. 🥰

For your event, may I request Tech x F!reader with the prompt "You really want me?"

Thank you! I hope you have a great day. ❤️

❀ Milestone prompts list ❀

Author's Note: Awww thank you! I'm glad you enjoy my writing! and techtechtechtechtechtech

Relationships: Tech/Gn!Reader

Warnings: None, just fluff and confessions of love

"So, I have to ask..."

Echo's voice perks up your ears, as sits beside you. His glass is in his hands but he hasn't taken a sip yet, at least that you've noticed.

79's is relatively barren tonight, at least by the normal standards; Though it's still quite loud and packed with enough clones that traversal through the bar is for sure going to end up with you bumping into a few shoulders.

"Did you show Tech some new book or something?" He's not here tonight, having neglected coming out for drinks because of some important worked he wanted to finish, and had insisted you all go on without him. it's not incredibly unusual; This sort of scene isn't his type.

You think on Echo's question for a moment, pursing your lips as you look off in no particular direction trying to recall. Once you do, it's such a brief moment that you don't really think that it would be anything of note.

"Um, I mean I mentioned something not too long ago?" Echo leans back against the seat, an arm over the back behind your head.

"Ok, because he's not shut up about whatever it was for at least a week now. He's been researching it nonstop." That sentence makes you surprised, but also it's impossible to contain a smile at the thought of him doing something like that when you aren't around. It's, endearing. Not too often do you find someone who enjoys you enough that they try to enjoy the things you do. You love watching Tech tinker, to sometimes catch his tongue just barely poking out between his lips, but it makes your heart flutter a bit to know this new tidbit of info.

"Really? I didn't know he cared that much." Crosshair makes an amused noise.

"Cares? He's obsessed." He gets an odd look from you back, and Hunter seeks to clarify what Crosshair won't.

"The two of you really get along well," He says, and you raise your eyebrows. He can't exactly find the best way to put this so for the sake of his brother and for your own sanity, he'll be blunt.

"Look, we don't wanna shove into your business or anything," Hunter rubs the back of his neck. "But Tech really likes you." It's feels more than a little bit intense being underneath the stare of four eyes, especially considering who they are.

"But he's not gonna say it unless you do first."

Were you really so obvious in your attraction that they were all able to notice? You had hoped you were being at least somewhat subtle.

No point in denying it, you guess. They already have it all figured out.

"So, you want me to just go for it then?" You smile and laugh, expecting it to be taken as a joke. But instead, Hunter nods and agrees with you.

"Go sweep him off his feet."

You're not drunk in the slightest; seeing the outline of the Marauder ahead of you as you walk forward towards it with purpose. It's just that your conversation with the rest of the 99's has pushed you over the edge.

You ended up leaving not long after you'd finished talking, deciding to take the opportunity of Tech being alone. It's not too often you have the chance to do so.

You'll just say how you feel, and damn the consequences. You can't stay in the limbo anymore.

But Tech is just, so hard to read.

You've gotten better at it over time, but sometimes you find yourself wondering. His brothers know him best, and hopefully their encouragement doesn't end with you making an ass of yourself.

You have the codes to unlock the Marauder, bringing down the gangplank so you can head inside. Once you do, it's only takes a quick look to the right to locate Tech, who's situated in the cockpit using Gonky as an extension to his current work table; Which is the control panel. He heard your entrance and looks over, perking up in casual surprise.

"Oh, I thought you all would be out for most of the evening." He says it with curiosity, not disappointment. You notice he's reading one of the books you'd mentioned awhile ago when you step closer, datapad sat aside whatever he's been tinkering with. He must be using it as background noise.

"Yeah, it got a little too rowdy for my liking." He's soldering two wires together, humming and adjusting his goggles with a wiggle of his nose. When he speaks he's still working, not looking as you watch over him from his side.

"I apologize for my brothers if they said or did anything particularly uncouth; Them and large amounts of alcohol are not often the best combination." Speaking from experience? You joke to only yourself. Smiling, you wave off his concerns.

"Nah, they were fine," Your sentence hangs for a bit, leaning to one side as your eyes flick over his hands and arms. "I, wanted to talk to you, actually." That admission gets Tech's interest, naturally.

Gonky takes up a good portion of the free space between the seats, so he ushers the droid away and gives you the room to sit down.

"To me?" He seems both surprised and curious, already trying to figure out what you'd possibly need to talk to him about. It could be any number of things, it's not as if the two of you have ever run out of things to talk about.

"Yeah, I," You lick your lips, finding the words and the confidence to just say them.

Gods he looks so cute right now... You think while seeing his dark brown eyes watch you from behind his goggles.

"Do you want to go out sometime? Just you and me?" He quickly counts his tools as he puts them away back in his storage box, glancing up at you.

"Do you need help with something? I see no need why to specify just you and me if you would just like to go and-"

You get out of your seat and kneel on the edge of Tech's, leaning inward and stealing a kiss from him. He certainly looks surprised the moment you pull away, but it seems to get the point across well enough.

"Oh," He says, adjusting his goggles from where you'd bumped them out of alignment. "You meant in that way." His eyes are wide, flicking around focus on a different part of your face as he thinks.

"I, failed to think this was a possible scenario." In any other situation you might've considered making a joke, but the tone would be ruined if you did so.

"Being a clone isn't a desirable trait apart from a few select scenarios, my brothers are quite overbearing, and the state of the war I-" He cuts himself off, brain thinking a mile a minute. "You really want me?"

You smile and nod, lips just barely dusting over his. You can still feel his breath on your face, before he decides to kiss you this time. His feels more assertive, as if he's quickly gaining the confidence in what he's figured out so far. His body rises from his aggressive slouch and his hands move up your thighs, from where they had laid politely on your knees.

"Do you want me to say?" You say, feeling his hands on your hips.

His brothers won't be back for most of the night anyways. He has plenty of time to figure things out and get all the answers he needs.

"Yes."

[self-winding]

Many of the incorrect things that people routinely say about NPD were things that people once said about autism. I'm thinking in particular about, "If you're worried you have NPD/autism then that means you don't have it."

The implications are different. The assumption with autistic people was that they straight-up didn't have the mental capacity to reflect on whether or not they might have a condition, and with NPD it's more, "Worrying about it would imply concern for others, which they don't have." Though even if you make the assumption that NPD people have zero concern for the impact they have on others (which is an oversimplification), this statement makes no sense. It doesn't require empathy to be worried that you might have an oft-demonized condition. There are entirely selfish reasons to be worried about that.

And in either case, to disprove it all you need are a few diagnosed people saying, "Yes, I did read up on this condition before I was diagnosed and I was in fact worried that I had it." (Though I guess you can resolve this cognitive dissonance in either case just by decided not to believe anything that the diagnosed people say and insisting that they are just repeating words like a parrot.)

But anyway, there's just too much awareness and advocacy now around autism and too many officially diagnosed people talking about the condition for statements like "if you're worried about having autism then you don't" to be taken seriously, and I think we'll eventually see a similar thing happen with NPD.

Statements like these are often meant to reassure scrupulosity-afflicted people who are perpetually haunted by the idea that they have X and that having X would make them a fundamentally unlovable and unworthy and abusive person. But in cases like that, maybe what actually needs to happen is for them to challenge that idea. Because if they still feel that X makes you fundamentally broken, no amount of reassurance that they don't have it is ever going to be enough. Those who worship beauty will always feel ugly, those who worship intelligence will always fear that they are stupid, etc. That worry is always going to come back. Especially if they actually do have X or something in the general vicinity.

Consider, for example, the case of a person with NPD being abused by another person with NPD. Maybe their abuser recognized their symptoms and used those symptoms as a way to gaslight and control them. After that, "if you're worried you have X you don't have X" will be a tremendously reassuring and cathartic thing to hear. "Oh, of course! My abuser was projecting all along. Thank god I am not actually one of those people!"

But of course, if the victim does actually have some of the symptoms associated with the condition they are going to recognize that on some level and be constantly consumed with the need to rationalize those symptoms away. It will never stop. Not until they reject the idea that the symptoms are what make them unworthy.

Of course, symptoms can cause people to behave abusively, but this is true of a very wide range of conditions, even relatively "normal" and destigmatized ones. Real life is full of gray area and complexity, and broad brush statements like "if you're worried you have the thing then you don't have it" just obscure the examination of that complexity.

[prismatoxic]

alright im here to say: ramble abt the "awful boys" pls! You can share any fun facts abt them or just abt matt or even just share out of context facts abt the lore! (that'd be very funny) ✨

IF YOU'RE SURE... I CAN CERTAINLY DO THAT...

despite not being "mine", arguably felix actually is mine, just as much as matt is max's. we share them so much that they haven't really developed outside of that context, so a lot of things about them are entwined... though that said i do have a more solid grasp on matt since he is the one i made and largely craft the lore for. if there's anything i don't feel comfortable speculating on for felix i can always ask max what he thinks though

i don't really remember everything i've actually posted here, although i think i've largely been vague on tumblr with the exception of the lore dump under matt's new ref. i can reshare that and maybe felix's backstory as well, but first i'll just share some facts and lore tidbits

also this got So Long so here's a cut

felix met the original matthew once. at a company party, matthew had come along at his father's insistence, and really didn't want to be there. his father introduced him to felix--probably flippantly, they're closer in age than matthew is with most other people there but also the old CEO resented felix and wasn't exactly trying to include him in anything--but the conversation went nowhere. the next time felix saw him, matthew was dead and the godking had taken his place as "matt". (we have an au where the conversation did go somewhere and they actually started "dating", which is just even more awful for poor matthew than what he canonically goes through. felix shouldn't ever date other humans, he's a toxic cesspit)

there's an underworld of demons that has direct connections to the company, both in location and in business. it's part of why matt finds it so interesting. in the canon/"just me and max" version of the story, the demons working at the company are generally pretty good at being covert and are rarely noticed. once matt shows up, suddenly none of them go to the top floor, quickly hurrying out of the way if he's on other floors. felix notices, one of the several things that brings him to the conclusion of something being weird about matt before the truth is forced out.

(there's another version of the story where we've involved several friends, most of whom made demon ocs, though some made other entities. matt remains the only entity of his kind in that version of the story, but the divide between him and other supernatural beings is less severe.)

when felix does find out about matt's true nature, it's not in any particularly descriptive way, and the best guess he can make is "angel of death". the existence of potentially-religious figures concerns him somewhat, as he was raised in a religious household and if hell is real, then brother, he's gonna have a bad time. that said, this particular assumption is what leads to one of his most common petnames for matt: "angel", which matt seems to actually enjoy, usually

on the topic of petnames--they both use them and both usually do so sarcastically or mockingly. "angel" is usually used that way, too. it's later in their relationship when any of them become fond; "angel" is one used in such a way, but matt doesn't have any that are so specific. he defaults to mushy stuff like "love," "beloved," and "darling." it's easy to assume he's still being sarcastic.

but don't be fooled by talk of gentle fondness and love. a lot of their early relationship is marked by dubcon and eroguro, along with dozens of other filthy things, and those mostly continue indefinitely (maybe not dubcon, but certainly cnc). matt can't be killed via normal means and he can always bring felix back; with no consequences, they can do such horrible things, and felix's top kinks happen to include "snuff". how lucky he is! (i told you he's a toxic cesspit)

even so... they do love each other. maybe not at the start, no, but as things progress, absolutely. and neither thinks it's worth holding onto. for felix, matt certainly will never feel the same; for matt, it's simply foolish to feel such a way about a mortal. and yet... every time he brings felix back from death, he imbues him with some of his own stardust. felix doesn't know it's happening until his own powers start manifesting and he starts feeling matt's emotions. even then, matt brushes off his involvement in those things happening.

i actually wrote a little story about one of the defining moments of their relationship, a turning point for them both (but especially felix). i meant to post it here and never did. maybe i'll do that. anyway

matt has always inherited memories and desires from those he devoured, but upon leaving a vessel he's often lost big parts of that. even so, the person he is now feels like an amalgam of all those he's eaten, and he has... surprisingly huge identity issues. he's kind of shaken when he realizes he's started thinking of this vessel as himself, not just "the body". he's never lived a life so full in any of his vessels, never had cause to tether himself to one identity. it scares him. but... he doesn't want to leave. felix is still here.

on that note, he inherited a few kinks from matthew that he's not really ready for. matthew never got to act on them, but matt can, and he does--much to felix's delight. watching matt turn into a drooling whimpering mess is such a treat.

i'm exhausted so idk how many more things i can easily rattle off. but you're welcome to ask more stuff!

here, have the malix playlist:

and below i'll put these guys' backstories, just because

Matt

The Godking is a young cosmic entity from an unknowable place somewhere out in the universe. He used to enter relationships with older beings, but as a younger being he was rarely fully respected; as a result, he became obsessed with the idea of gaining the sort of power that would force the others to acknowledge him as a peer. Crafting a divine dagger with parts of his own being, he used it to kill his partners, devouring their essences to absorb their powers. 

His last cosmic partner was an arachnid-like being who saw him for what he was before he could murder them. While they were unable to take his dagger, they still nearly killed him in the ensuing fight, and in the wake of the battle he was banished from his home dimension for his crimes. In his banishment, he lost his original form, left to wander the cosmos as a formless cluster of stardust.

He eventually ended up on Earth, drawn by the presence of supernatural beings mingling with the humans, as well as the humans themselves. He found himself enamored with the concept of human religion—of gods and deities that were worshiped for their control over the world. This was where he adopted the moniker Godking, an apt description of his influence on the humans who idolized him. For millennia he drifted from project to project, forming cults in his own name or joining human settlements to play with some of the residents, stealing the bodies of singular members to become "prophets" delivering the word of their new God. Inevitably, he always got bored, killing his favored toys so they couldn't exist without him and abandoning those who worshiped him. 

Not too long ago, the CEO of a successful company used ancient texts from one of the Godking's religions to invoke his name, asking for his aid in making the company prosper beyond his wildest dreams. Amused by the request, the Godking gave his word, then used his hypnosis abilities to drive the CEO mad to get him out of the way. Needing a new vessel to "fulfill the agreement" (a conscious choice, as he isn't the sort to be bound by deals or laws), he devoured the soul of the CEO's son, Matthew, assuming ownership of his body and using it to take over the company. 

He's grown fond of the name Matt, and in truth has also grown fond of Matthew's body, though he does frequently alter it to suit his needs. It's been some time since he enjoyed a specific form so much. It helps, perhaps, that a specific high ranking member of the company—the only person to have broken through the illusion to discover the sinister truth underneath—seems to like this form too.

He needs to leave it eventually, of course, lest his essence get so tangled up in it that breaking away gets difficult. Surely that won't be hard. 

Felix

Felix was born to an incredibly average family out in the suburbs, not too far from the city where he works now. By all accounts, he was a very normal child; he was pleasant, if a bit withdrawn, and wore very normal clothes, had a very normal haircut, and kept his room very plain. His interests were few and nothing noteworthy, and his performance in school was decent. 

Of course, all of that was only what outsiders saw—his extended family, school peers who didn't share classes with him, and the many mental health professionals his parents sent him to all considered him to be a normal, plain child. Anyone who spent a little more time with him could tell there was something wrong. His immediate family, closest to him by virtue of living with him, actively considered him a threat.

Felix was prone to killing and dissecting small animals, blatantly lying to manipulate others, collecting blackmail material whenever an opportunity presented itself, and generally intimidating anyone who could be pushed around in such a way. While many of his traits could potentially be explained by sociopathy, Felix was never formally diagnosed with anything, charming anyone who may have been able to into thinking he was fine. Perhaps his parents waited too long to get him looked at. Or perhaps Felix was always a conniving sadist, something within him darker than any mental disorder could explain.

Having since moved out of the suburbs and largely distanced himself from his family, Felix lives in an apartment with two roommates and works at the company Matt took over. When the old CEO was still in charge, Felix used his skills to blackmail the man extensively, gaining a position perilously close to the C-suite with the intentions to move even higher when the chance manifested. He was blindsided, as were many others, when the old CEO was institutionalized and his son inherited his company. Yet as the other executives and employees easily took to Matt's presence, Felix was furious that his plans had been disrupted... and cautious of the ways in which something about Matt seemed off.

When attempts to learn more or get Matt under his thumb failed, Felix resorted to murder. He's resorted to murder a lot, over the years. He's never been caught, never been confronted, never been stopped—and never met someone who could shake off a bullet to the skull. 

Until now.

[queencaramilflinda]

Can I ask why you're a shriek week hater? Genuinely curious! I never watched it

Ok so I am putting this below a cut in case anyone doesn't want to look at discourse which is completely understandable. Also this got kinda long oops

Shriek week... where do I begin? Since you haven't seen the season, let me step back and explain the premise. Shriek Week was a season set at a university for monsters, DM'd by Gabe Hicks. It used a system made by Gabe called the Mythic System. Each PC (Ally Beardsley, Lily Du, Ify Nwadiwe and Dani Fernandez) plays a student at the school for monsters.

I should also preface by saying I havent seen the season since it came out years ago so this is all based on my best memory and posts about the situation

The plot. It is said in the adventuring party that the original premise for this season was for it to be a straight up and down dating sim style game, but that Gabe decided to go another direction between episodes 1&2, which means that the plot was clearly scraped together extremely last minute and is generally nonsensical. It involves clones and an evil plant and a bunch of other stuff, it's just kind of bad. The fact that the plot was shoe-horned in last minute also really effects the pacing of the season, because it was only 4 episodes long and only ever originally supposed to be a fun and quirky dating sim game.

The rail-roading. This problem is deeply connected to the previous point. I havent seen Gabe in literally anything else so in no way am I making any statement about his abilities as a DM, and I am not the type to throw the phrase rail-roading around willy-nilly. The thing is, that because the clones and evil plant monster plot got thrown in so last minute with so little time to be resolved, it a little bit took away player agency, with players consistently attempting/asking to do things only to be told no, and instead led down a very particular path. Usually I am very forgiving of this sort of behavior as DMing is very hard and it can be easy for players to get distracted from the plot at hand... however the players were brought into this game under the pretense that it would be rom-com in genre, not plot heavy. So it kind of makes sense for them to be confused and not on board with the plot that they didn't know to expect.

Terry Talbo. Ok this maybe a me thing, because I do not particularly like Ify Nwadiwe in general, but the way he plays his character Terry Talbo has always made me uncomfortable. To quote a post I made several months ago " Ify plays his character as being kind of pushy towards women, not taking no as an answer when asking them out, and generally being toxically masculine in a way that was not criticized by the narrative or even really the players at all." A scene that distinctly sticks out in my head as both bad manners and bad gameplay is when Terry attempts to ask out a woman at the gym, and rolls low on his check. As a result, the woman says no. Instead of backing off like a normal person Terry doubles down and insists on rolling at least one or two more times to try again, and eventually the lady relents and agrees to go on a date with him. It all just felt icky, and it was not just a one time occurrence.

The cast. (This may also just be a me thing). Each member of that cast individually are deeply funny and talented individuals. However the majority of them did not know each other and the chemistry of the group was way off and did not pass the vibe check to me. One of my favorite things about actual play shows is the secondhand feeling you get of being in a friend group and playing dnd. Shriek Week did not have this, which reduced my enjoyment.

The University Setting. I am putting this last because it's such a small complaint comparatively speaking, but the seasons that came immediately before Shriek Week were The Seven and Misfits and Magic. It was the third season in a row to take place in a school as one of its primary locations, and I think im not the only one who was feeling burned out of this premise by this point.

This is what I have off the top of my head without fact checking anything, so I apologize if I am missing something major or am incorrect about any of the details! I love d20, and while Shriek Week was not for me, it has in not in anyway impacted my devotion for the show.

[13eyond13]

So, not an ask for any game in particular, but do you know if there's a credible source on L being a very cleanly? I swear I read The TV Tropes page for him, which is of dubious trustworthiness, lists him as a clean freak and in certain adaptations being concerned about illness. I don't have the manga so I can't corroborate if this is true, and it doesn't have a source listed. I know some people interpret him the other way as being bad with cleanliness and hygiene. I am aware of the human washing machine but I'm pretty sure it's a gag. As the leading L historian, what are your thoughts.

Hahaha, the leading L historian! I'm honoured though unsure about that, but I will do my best to answer your ask... Well, I think of him as a bit of a clean freak rather than a grubby person, and apparently Ohba does as well. This is how Watari describes L in that infamous "human washing machine" panel from the one-shot that describes a day in the life of L: "He is rather fastidious and bathes himself often."

If we look up the word "fastidious" it sometimes means "very concerned about matters of cleanliness:"

Though I don't think L ever mentions anything along these lines about his hygienic habits or preferences in the manga, I feel as though he can suggest this vibe with his habits and mannerisms at times.... such as how delicately and fussily he holds most objects, the generally hermit-like way he normally lives his life, and the impersonal way he handles most social interactions (eg. using a proxy much of the time, or having his suspects restrained and filmed so he can observe them from afar without interacting with them personally himself, etc.)

However, the fact that he's a fairly shabby-looking character who wears the same thing every day and has a lot of self-indulgent, antisocial traits can also mean people read him as the opposite easily as well (just another one of those tightropes of extreme opposite traits L ambiguously walks as a character)... and there are certainly panels in the manga that make him look like a bit of a slob at times too, particularly when it comes to his food (eg. crumbs from his snacks on his chin, or licking out the wrapper of his cupcake in a way that makes somebody else watching go "eww" lol):

Overall I tend to believe he's more along the lines of somebody who is rather fussy and particular about being clean, though I also don't really take that one-shot about him bathing in a washing machine too seriously as canon either, hahaha. I kinda just take the vibes from that one-shot about his personality into consideration and then make the particulars of it a little more realistic in my mind. Like yes, he does insist on bathing frequently and being very clean, but he probably is not particularly vain or elaborate about his routine. The way I interpret it is that he sees a lot of self-grooming and self-presentation chores as boring and tedious "necessary evils," and prefers to outsource them to Watari or find other kinds of time-saving shortcuts to get them over with as quickly as possible (like having several sets of the same clothes that he already knows he likes, using 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner type products, or avoiding getting haircuts until he absolutely has to, that kind of thing). I think it's mostly just because he IS a hygienic person that he can't eliminate that stuff from his life altogether, but if he could he would, because it's just not at all entertaining or interesting to him.

[omnipah]

for the character asks: pickman sangfielle and/or any malevolent guy of ur choosing

well if u insist!!!!

Pickman

Sexuality Headcanon: i do get very aro vibes from pickman and i think in a lot of cases she's functionally ace but. she sure did fuck that old woman! so i guess she's aro train-god-sexual lesbian. good for her Gender Headcanon: i mean i know this is the autism vibes but she truly does seem like the kind of person who's only doing woman because that's what she started as and knows how to do. she's still fairly cut off from traditional expressions of gender because of the autism and the Train Trauma but at the same time it's her version of womanhood and she's kind of spitefully attached to it now, even tho it's in a kind of nb way. A ship I have with said character: That Old Woman (shoutouts to chantilly scathe!!!) A BROTP I have with said character: duvall for that time he manifested into a scene he wasn't in to defend her honour A NOTP I have with said character: alekest i guess? i mean he did that himself tho. anyone else i mean. is it really friends at the table if the player characters don't all have weird unethical polycule vibes? A random headcanon: she seems like one of those people who can't cook for shit unless u give her a recipe with exact instructions and proportions and then even if she's completely unfamiliar with the technique she's suddenly a 5star chef. she thinks this is normal and everyone is like this and is baffled when colette gets moony-eyed at her over it General Opinion over said character: i am picking petals off flowers saying 'she loves me, she loves me not' i am doodling her name in my notebook i am cheerleading on the sidelines of every scene shes in i am holding her giant gun for her in case she needs it

Kayne Malevolent (i would say sorry but u did this to urself)

Sexuality Headcanon: i mean as far as canon goes he seems less concerned with gender and more concerned with whoever he doesn't consider boring. i could go ahead and just decide he's gay because he flirted with both john and arthur (not to mention the fruitiness) but that's too easy. if women were legal in malevolent he'd be uncomfortably horny about them too, i know it Gender Headcanon: whatever he's doing he's doing it a lot. A ship I have with said character: i mean given his whole deal he seems fairly impervious to like. intimacy. but i think it's fun when he gets all marina and the diamonds homewrecker in jarthur's already unstable marriage A BROTP I have with said character: well it would be lovely if there were sufficient characters in the actual show for him to actually have any kind of friendship with. or more likely affectionate rivalry considering how unpleasant he is as a person A NOTP I have with said character: i mean i don't know of anyone who's shipping him with anyone in particular but the only other recurring characters are larson yellow and the butcher and uh. all of them. less the butcher cus can u imagine the combination of fucked up hedonist trickster god + catholic guilt but still. the vibes are fucking rancid A random headcanon: this is mostly just taking the trope and running with it but i like to think he operates under fae rules, like, technically can't lie and technically has to keep his promises, so is like. extremely careful how he words things and what he avoids saying and leaves implied. bonus points cus he talks so fast u can't really tell he's doing it unless ur paying attention. yes i realise this is the third character in a row i'm headcanoning as a beaurocrat but listen it's my autism i get to project it General Opinion over said character: he's like a budget version of the outsider if the outsider listened to the orion experience. we love a fucked up trickster god and of course we love a bisexual covered in blood but yknow what else i love? characters who show up often enough to actually learn anything about them at all.

[rametarin]

That's just the problem. If you think about it, if you stop and think about how being 'queer' is treated, discussed, spoken about, as a political entity and social movement rather than simply a characteristic like blood type or hair color, then it suddenly makes perfect sense. It is the ideology itself that is producing this effect. It was always intended to produce this effect, that's why it's a social rallying call to engage in the public arena on these values.

To the activist, "queer" doesn't represent something that will eventually just be normal. Because, normal to them is queer people being identified as the political concept of Oppressed. By whom? Society and the majority. Okay, how?... The recursive absolutist belief that, unless you are in a socialist society that is both government and culture, then oppression stems from that. They will accept no substitutes and no alternatives. To them, society must be living by the rest of the logic used to platform and fascillitate the language used as a hydrofoil for LGBT rights, and that means applying the rest of it to the universe, without exception.

And so, there is no "normalization" the way there is in regular liberalism minus the Marxist views of demographic as class as political entity. There is no resolution. There is no alleviation from oppression. There are only these arbitrary absolutist relationships between groups they've deemed "oppressed" and "oppressor" as a form of convenience in very black and white thinking, and what that means.

This is how and why that particular flavor of gay rights, that particular flavor of "anti-racism," tthat particular flavor of what dares call itself, "sexual equality," is bunk and bullshit. It doesn't live in reality, it lives in a platonic ideal model and then chides the universe for not fitting that mold and molecular outline exactly.

In that ideology, to be trans is to truly and without exception become the gender that which you aspire to be. They insist, without exception, that there is no hyphen, there is no honorary, there is no distinguishing or distinctive difference and so language beyond the occasionally convenient, "he's cis" or "he's trans" is strictly verboten. You are not even allowed to distinguish it for practical reasons separate from ideological ones, because to them, ideology is literally everything- IT inerprets the world and how it works, and aught to work, and woe be to anyone that dares say we should form our linguistic culture off of things detatched from the manufactured pretext that social movement gives it. And so, if this is true, then to be a transman makes you just as much of an oppressive, horrifying monster as a cisgendered man to those that believe this view.

So as a transman, if you're lucky enough to pass and the knee-jerk reaction to you be rejection of you as a human being, but be perceived as the, "violent, monstrous, exploitative and cruel" overlord oppressor class, well, congratulations. You don't need to do anything- you don't need to have negative intentions- you don't need to personally be guilty of anything to be the ideological opponent of all "right and correct thinking people."

Any word you say that is, "out of class?" Best watch your back, or else Right Correct Thinking People, ie, the Anticapitalist, Progressive People, will be sure to check you for not having the credentials to speak vs. "the oppressed." Only, they'll probably call them minorities, as then you have to argue you, as a man, should get to disagree with the holy oppressed group and have your opinion, as a filthy oppressor man be worth anything.

Unless you do the modern equivalent of that thing we did in the 80s when we were loudly told our opinions on any racial or ethnic affair were invalid because we were not a member of that group, even if what they did on the basis of race-as-group affected the rest of society: The queer version of the, "I'm actually 1/32 Cherokee." thing. Wave your credentials as a member of the "Queer," and thus, safe demographic that's allowed to have credibility in your opinion and welcoming to the movement, just so people know, you're safe, you're actually one of the rarer and more oppressed colors of the rainbow, you can speak and nobody that's cis or het has any right to even question you, and they aren't allowed to be belligerent or contradict you without becoming subject to those in-ideology rules that say they're now oppressing a transman's lived experience. Suddenly make that trans-man prefix matter, so you aren't treated like a bigoted, monstrous fratboy or bloviating old money Southern Evangelical Doug Dimmadome son and causer of the anti-woman society that somehow is responsible for teaching horrible men to commit sexual assault on the oppressed women and thus lower the bar of expected gender relations too deep for you as an individual to ever lift to normalcy again. Wear that rainbow and identifying trans flag the way cheetah cubs wear honey badger fur colors to confuse predators. Or else, you'll finally pass as what they consider in their political ideology to be A Man, and get mistaken for how they see all men. How they treat all men. How they speak to all men.

Does it feel cold to be among that hideous political school of thought that dares to call itself what "progressive" means, now? Like they're blaming you for things you never had anything to do with, based on what they consider inherently to be a choice and not a fixed and natural state? Like you're being treated like a member of a mafia, regardless of your level of participation in "cisheteronormativity" (just, not being queer and not making queerness a factor) or like a male chauvinist just by being a man, no matter how far removed from misogyny your actions, views and countenance are?

Welcome to the club, kid. This is how things really are.

Get ready to never have your opinion or thoughts, much less your heart and soul, ever matter to these "Progressives" again, unless you emphasize how queer you are to make it matter. Get ready for ther ideology to misinterpret your every action and thought and feeling and have them argue with you that you can't be right, because Men In This Society Do Things For These Following Reasons.

tried to vent in a trans space about how, as a trans man who’s been on T for a long time (over 7 years now), i have noticed that the more i pass as a man, the less welcomed i am in queer spaces unless i go out of my way to feminize myself. and how that sucks! and it’s isolating!!! and it feels horrible to see ppl who used to like you and be close to you drift further and further the more masculine (& therefore more comfortable in urself) u become…

only to get ppl replying to me and saying “well if you dressed more fem then ppl wouldn’t be intimidated by you. you signed up for this”

i’m sorry but i didnt sign up for social isolation when i transitioned, i signed up for gender euphoria and comfort in myself and my life. and i had hoped that the ppl in my life would be able to see how much joy that brings me and continue to love me.