#<- implied and not actually- just percieved

[s0fti3w1tch]

"Ghost" in My Dreams

[context] Raph was the last to see Leo before he disappeared. The guilt haunts him.

[guttedeggs]

Ok I'm like terrified to step into bigger Fandom analysis but. Just once.

Katana Man is a direct foil to Denji. Both of them are directly affected by the same Yakuza, but they're treated entirely differently by him. Katana Man was given an advantage by his connections, while Denji was given a disadvantage. It directly affects how they percieve the yakuza.

They both lose the father figure closest to them. They both experience the grief. They both never get to acceptance. The difference between how Katana Man handles it and Denji handles it is that Denji blocks it off and is in denial, while Katana Man is stuck on anger.

Another foil is how they treat women. Denji puts women on a pedestal, while Katana Man has misogynistic views. Both of them struggled to view women as equals but in different ways.

I also think a lot of people aren't asking why the fuck Katana Man thinks it's okay to have Denji go to a brothel and that brings me to my next point; sexual trauma. Grooming is a very heavy theme in Chainsaw man. If Katana man thinks it's perfectly normal for a teenager to go to a brothel, what the fuck kinda environment did he grow up in? Additionally, if his view of sex is to be "cheered up", it implies that's one of his few coping mechanisms. He doesn't actually know how to deal with grief and he doesn't know how to help Denji. So he goes to the thing he does to cheer himself up. I really don't think it's just some throw away to show he's "a bad person" because to me, that just wouldn't make sense when there's already evidence to suggest he's a foil.

Someone also pointed out (i don't remember who) that everyone who hates denji with a passion ends up becoming his friend and viewing him as equal, whereas anyone who likes him idolizes him, to the point he's not really viewed as a human being. I think that, if they had to fight the apocalypse together, I wanna see it.

Anywho I'm still not over the fact he's gotten arrested twice and still hasn't gotten an official name. That's funny as fuck

[blueishspace]

Scott says Pearl's memory is selective so I rewatched her DL pov.

And he's kinda right? But also is doing much of the same thing.

Part 1/3

Episode 1 p.1 Communication and Strategy.

Let's start from the basic thing everyone even non fans with friends that are into the series know. Scott abandoning Pearl.

...

Which is something he doesn't do, not really at least, that would imply that they were allied in some way and he left. He might be her soulmate but that does not mean he has to team with her. By all counts It's simply a game mechanic and nothing more, she isn't entitled to an alliance with him. Sure there's an expectation for it to happen but it is not a rule, you can't abandon something you never had.

What about Last Life? It doesn't matter, not when it comes to Pearl, alliances almost never stick trough different seasons. It matters to Cleo and Scott: One of the reasons Scott and Cleo teamed up was because in Last Life they didn't have the chance to be in the alliance for as much as they wanted since Cleo had died and gone to red and then Scott went to red soon after Cleo went back to yellow. It was an alliance decided and agreed upon based on the fact they both felt robbed by the previous season. But the same doesn't apply to Pearl, it could have had she met them and talked to them about it but she didn't and so they likely interpreted it as her not caring about it.

Pearl interprets it as abandonment because ahe came in late, she doesn't understand the way the life series works yet. She expected the alliance and friendship to last from the previous season, it is not her fault either. It is entitlement born not out of selfishness but by a lack of communication.

Pearl THINKS Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss has value because she sees Scott and Cleo together but she lacks the context for that and ends up using it as a reason fro Scott to not reject her, at the same time Scott feels that Pearl doesn't care and is expecting his loyalty because of a game mechanic neither has control over and even worse, at least by his standards, an old alliance. He has a very weird definition of what loyalty is but it's something he cares about strongly and it something vital to his character.

And Scott is definitely is hurt by Pearl's actions and It's really really obvious: Scott is a man of logic, he is rational, he sees he only has a life left and decides not to do a boogie kill because he might just die and go to red anyway, he sacrifices himself again and again to give his teammates better chances, ge does not care... But there he does something strategically stupid, not teaming with the person who's health he shares. He is emotionally hurt by what he percieves to be Pearl's lack of care, this is the first time since third life he acts out of emotion over logic. From Cleo's pov we see how much he panic when he realizes he's bonded to Pearl and that she is in the nether.

And even when Scott comes back to say something extra he doesn't target Pearl, he uses the horn to annoy Martyn. From his pov it is Pearl that betrayed him but he decides to be mean to Martyn instead of her. I think this says a lot more then words van about how he viewed this thing.

Episode 1 p.2 Cleo and Martyn are assholes.

Oh boy, those two on the other hand made everything much worse for Pearl.

Martyn ACTUALLY betrayed and abandoned Pearl, unlike Scott he wa working together with her. She had reason to expect him to stick with her especially after they were both refused by their soulmate partners. But he doesn't, despite everything, despite knowing she didn't take Scott's rejection well he still leaves her alone. Pearl does not actually begin to spiral when Cleo and Scott choose eachother over their soulmates, she begins to spiral only once Martyn decides that's it better to leave, when he decides being alone is better then being with her.

And Cleo... she eggs them both Scott and Pearl on so much. Like at least Scott tries to be civil and explain himself at the start but Cleo... well she is ruder during the entire conversation.

Even worse, most of the escalation is done by Cleo and Martyn getting louder at eachother and drowning out Scott's and Pearl's arguments. If the previous part was about how Scott's and Pearl's situation happened because of miscommunication then this is to say that it happened because Cleo and Martyn made it virtually impossible for communication to actually happen.

Episode 2 p.1: Snow and Scar(s)

I think everyone knows how it wasn't Pearl that came up with the powdered snow bit, it was started by Scar as a way to mess with Grian...

And not only that. Everyone usually thinks about the homewreckers during Double Life but Scar during the season does a lot of things towards making other soulmates pair distrust eachother, he's the one that makes the chicken games and I think he knows full well what he's doing. He knows what happened to Pearl and gives her a way to make it worse knowing that she is going to use it. And she does.

It does take a bit for Scott to notice, after at first he assumes she's just walking into powdered snow by accident... it takes a bit for him to suspect but what sticks with is so much she damages him. Also Scar actively searches for him to give him the snow too which makes things way worse.

And she does a lot of damage. First 4 hearts, then another 6 hearts. She does not eat to spite Scott but this only justifies him in his mind. She justifies herself saying that he has been taking damage so It's fair. Yet when she takes a bunch of damage getting goat horns and he steps in powdered snow using THE SAME EXACT LOGIC as her she takes it personally... And that It's because It's not actually logic, It's both them justifying their actions to themselves over admitting their mistakes and doing so in the same way...

Episode 2 p.2 How it could have been resolved and yet wasn't.

Still when Scott approaches Pearl soon after he's...civil. They aren't mean to eachother, sure Pearl says she's broken hearted but she's the only one that is antagonistic about it Scott actually feels bad about Tilly dying and he tries to explain himself and tries to make small talk... And he manages it, they talk and both of them still think they are in the right but things are fixable at this point in time. Scott explains the damage he's taken and while Pearl doesn't fully believe him It's a start.

And especially Scott says that he and Cleo had bonded the last session and when Pearl says that he can bond more he says that's It's going to take time. This means Pearl still wants a chance to be on a team with Scott and Scott still doesn't hate such an idea. They are still stuck blinded in their own head but in another timeline they are on a team already from the next session.

Except Scott accidentally says "Mine and Pearl's" instead of "Mine and Cleo's" when talking about his base. And Pearl starts manically claiming their base as her own... And CLEO is the one to first say that she's insane. (Cleo: I think she's lost it. Scott: I don't think she ever had it.) And this insane thing is going to stick with Pearl for the rest of the series.

Cleo is a big part because of how she deals with both Scott's and Pearl. She is probably the person Scott trusts the most other then himself and she completely supports him, she completely agrees with him on everything he says. Scott is functionally in an echo chamber in this season. A very sassy one considering their personalities.

Cleo also worsens Pearl this session...surprisingly while trying to help. She genuinely seems to be trying, she's careful and deliberate, subtly implies she should less alone and then states that just because they aren't on the same team doesn't mean Pearl can't be with someone else. She lacks the sarcasm that's usually in her voice and she seems to be genuinely trying to get Pearl to find allies for herself and not be alone...Since her and Scott chose eachother outside the bonds she too could choose to be with who she wanted. But Pearl doesn't listen and all she gets from it is convincing herself to be even more isolated.

The last nail in the coffin has to be Ren and BigB though, they die and immediately accuse her of being a villain a demoness and sorrounded by misfortune. Scott was defensive and Martyn was evasive and Cleo was sarcastic and Scar was manipulative but out of my entire rewatch of Pearl's pov this far it was the worst moment from Pearl's perspective. The most damage done to Pearl in Double Life was given by Ren.

Episode 3 Why is it Scar again, doesn't he have better things to do?

So we have found that Pearl's spiral was started by Martyn and worsened by Scar and then cleo and then Ren and bow It's Scar's turn again. Because session 2 ends with Pearl saying she was just wanting to help and session 3 starts with Scar convincing her to be actively a threat. He manipulated her into ruining the relationship with Scott once and now he's making her become what Ren said she was. So he can sell her stuff.

Now she meets again with Cleo and Scott and well... Nothing of particular importance happens in this one. Except one thing that Scott's says. (Scott's very infamous line "It's hard but once you widdle him down to nothing it works" about Jimmy is given It's actual context and it seems to not refer to Jimmy's self esteem at all so I don't know where that came from. ) Which gives Pearl the idea to annoy Scott even more.

Also important thing that happens soon is Scott saying sorry to Pearl without any sarcasm for taking damage as an olive branch and then suddenly shutting up as he processes that Pearl just created a dirt hut on his bridge. Even he doesn't tell her to take it down but suggests talking to Cleo about it since they build it. Pearl then suggests killing Cleo and even then Scott tries to calm her down by saying she can't because she is green. Pearl actually in canon comments that Scott is really nice to her and then Ren and Martyn fake burning down her base to get her attention.

[punkeropercyjackson]

You seem pretty adamant/confident in your perception of Percy as transfem, and seemed pretty against people “detransfeminizing” Percy. Where do you see transfeminity in Percy, and where does this come from in the text?

Not asking to be an ass or anything, just curious, cause it’s not a take I often see.

So disclaimer transfem Percy is approved by actual transfem Pjo fans.Literally every transfem Pjo fan i know says she's definitely an egg and at least a few of them personally relate to her.With that out of the way,i'll be listing points that back up Percy being a trans woman and give it a solid basis.Get ready for a long ass list btw

Dosen't perform masculinity for any reason other than to try to blend in and frequently expresses she feels obliged to do certain things because of being percieved as a man rather than out of desire to do to them on liking them

Her descriptions of and relathionships with other female characters give off she feels them as not only attractive but also a 'forbidden fruit' she's not allowed to equate herself to in 'vibes' or 'coolness status' since she's 'such an oblivious ugly boy who could never understand girls' and in the original series,she had more female friends than male ones,a common experience for eggs growing up.In contrast,she resents manhood not only as a patriarchal oppressive force she was brutalized by but also as something forced upon her like a burden and there's zero indication Percy has reclaimed it or wants to

Insists on being called a gender neutral nickname over her masculine fullname and hates fullnaming even when it's not malicious

Implied/shown to be punk but dosen't wear punk fashion and opts for 'normie' androgynous outfits on thinking herself as unable to pull it off

Looks like a mini version of Poseidon and eldest daughters irl frequently fall under this(including me).This may seem flimsy but i've got another part regarding Percy's looks:Piper's description of her.She said she's not the ultra hunky manly man people at Camp Half-Blood described her as and she borderline calls him feminine looking or 'well......unimpressive' compared to the actual positively masculine Jason.Percy canonically is seen as more masc than she actually is according to a canon butch sapphic.Percy is the butchest girl Pjo fans can handle before they started getting scared and Piper is the real butch girl who DID scare them by *checks glittery notepad* not finding the aggro white masc vision of Percy by fans attractive as a brown native woman

Blue is considered a boy color but Percy's special interest in it was passed down to her by her mom and Percy is also scared of turning into her father yet is the mom friend of all her groups throught the books and accidentally admits this in her narration at one point.The metaphor is almost too easy

Important aspect is she immediately follows it up with 'that wasn't a good sign' and in the same book,she says she dosen't know how to talk to girls.In a scene where she's with Grover,Thalia and Annabeth.Two girls she's been friends with for ages and a goat.Percy you fucking robin blue egg

The Titan's Curse is an accidental trans girl allegory.The Hunters of Artemis are a transfem inclusive woman exclusive group that in the original mythology and irl greek history were used as slang for 'lesbian' that work to protect women from men as a social class and Percy has to prove herself as unlike men to them to gain her hero punchcards in this one and she actually succeeds onpage with solid writing!She's contrasted again Thalia and buts heads with her explicitly because they're so similar they clash so often but work through their problems together to be simply bantering best friends.Thalia herself is transfem-coded but a stud unlike Percy who's femme and that only adds even more layers to their already toptier dynamic and Percy is punk too but punk rock to Thalia's pop punk.She was literally a teenage anarchist(/Against Me! ref)

Nico is introduced in the same installment and he's the one Percy admitted to acting motherly to in her head.It's textual they were only not super close over Nico's crush on 'unachivable older straight boy Percy' and the visceral internalized homophobia it gave him combined with his upbringing pre-Lotus Hotel and it's also textual Percy only was Nico's crush over him idealizing her as a man she never was but that he loves her better platonically and thinks she's cute.Nico's got that tboy swag so they're trans best friends and found siblings soulmates and we were ROBBED of Nico and Percy

In the second Hoo book,there's a moment where a little roman girl says she wants to be Percy Jackson when she grows up in that exact wording and Percy proves herself as unlike men to an ancient greek tfem accepting women only group in The Amazons.This kinda stuff is consistent with her like genuinely

Rachel is widely thought of as lesbian-coded by lesbian Pjo fans and trans women dating their afab lesbian friends back when they thought they were both cishet and their friendship growing stronger than ever after breaking up is a common thing irl too.Rachel is an og art hoe(as in 'black artsy woman',not the gentrified shit)and we love her and her support of her trans bestie

The sea carries a lot of femininity to it in motifs,symbolism,aesthetics and folklore and 'the sea does not like to be restrained' screams tgirl Percy core and this is just my headcanon but Percy feels very moon-coded and the moon also carries mythology around it including femininity mistaken for masculinity due to it's strength.Also she's giving shark so she's a half-blood blahaj gijinka

Streaked hair,loves burgers,read an obscure ass marvel comic before the Mcu adapted it and a gamer /silly(also refering to her 'Groot Speak' joke in Toa when by the timeline,the Gotg movies didn't exist yet and she referenced playing Animal Crossing a lot in Wottg)

And her cycle breaking just clicks into place and is more satisfying and logical from a transfeminine perspective.Good men are good but trans women are the ones in need of rep and they deserve Percy Jackson as it since she's so much like them,she just is one of them.Miss Jackson is for real and she shouldn't apologize for who she is anymore!!She should've never had to but she should've always had self-love and she still can and never look back again

[quartztwst]

The strong hate for transfem Vil is so strange to me because where is all of this for the people who hc Riddle or Lilia as transfem as they also have dressed feminine.

I do understand that clothes doesn't make your gender and that clothes are unlabeled but like if the focus is just on the clothes and make up, then why isn't there a strong opposition for these two?

Is it because their character doesn't break gender norms enough? Because they look too feminine so they don't count? I need to know 😭

It's also strange how the only character who addresses themselves with female pronouns is who people believe shouldn't be transfem because it's breaks their character when we have like other 2 that go by male pronouns and they literally have NEARLY crossed dressed multiple times with one outfit being worn EVERYDAY (dorm uniform outfit).

(Sources from @/yuurei20)

I'm not trans myself so I have NO IDEA what it's like to struggle with your identity but I've heard a lot from people that Vil being transfem is fine because it can also enhance his story and his character.

A lot of transfem representation in media is negative and even offensive and disgusting, picturing them as predators, jokes, or antagonists. Someone had explained to me why this could be the reason why Vil is casted in villain/antagonist roles because he presented himself more feminine/or transfem.

(Plus its also kinda really hard to relate to Vil if you know what I mean -> 🙎🏼‍♀️)

If Vil is all about "beauty is regardless of gender" then Vil being transfem shouldn't be a problem because it is REGARDLESS of gender. Also I don't think he gives a fuck either 🤷‍♀️

I used to dislike transfem Vil hcs because I thought that Vil being transfem also created a negative expectation or enforced gender norms for people because his character is about breaking gender norms, with him wearing feminine clothing and styles.

But if the whole point is the break gender norms, then why should he be a guy being feminine? Why can't he be transfem?

I understand that "fem" implies being "a woman" which is a gender norm but I think a person who society percieves as a “male” who actually identifies as a woman IS breaking these norms if you think about it. (<- changed to sound less weird)

like tranfems who are uncomfortable with presenting as a cis male rather with what they actually identify with (<- changed to sound less weird im sorry)

Btw I don't hate gendernorm breaking male Vil HECK im literally using he/him pronouns

But I hate the close mindedness of people who hate transfem vil because they believe people who have these headcanons are transphobic or pushing gendernormality when they're people who actually enjoy his character and want to explore more with the HC.

I do believe that both sides have certain flaws to them but they explore different and complex sides about identity and Vil. I think the thing people are getting wrong is that Vil doesn't care about his gender and we keep putting him in labels and groups where no matter what, it makes sense bc he doesn't care. GNC Vil is awesome as transfem Vil.

We keep forgetting the complexities of gender and identity especially when it comes to Vil who doesn't care as long as he is beautiful.

ALSO this isnt made to attack but defend people who do hc Vil as transfem bc some of the hate becomes so weird to the point it's transmisogynistic

(If what i said is offensive or absolutely wrong, lmk bc im not trans myself but I do understand why people would hate or love transfem vil)

[minyard-05]

ok. So about provider.

my main Theory is that there's two narratives going on here, that kind of both compliment each other in a sense. also before i start i want to say i'm making a distinction between the singer/the character of vessel in the context of the band's whole lore/concept, and vessel* as an actual person & the songwriter (in terms of his intentions about the song itself)

so the first narrative, the song's overlayer and clearest interpretation, is that this is a love song, of sorts. it's a declaration, vessel telling the subject that he'll do anything for them, be whatever they need him to be, provide. this is what i think vessel's intentions for the song were, the way he as the singer perceives it is it being a genuine promise to the subject. he is 100% honest about doing anything for them, providing, "i can give you what you want", all of that. and that really comes through i think in the sincerity of the last chorus, "i can get it so right / even in the daylight" (this line possibly implying that he doesn't want whatever relationship they have to be kept secret– see also: "i wanna do more than just bend the rules.")

this all makes the song Feel like it should be a love song, and that was my initial reaction as well. but i'll be honest, 70% of my reasoning here is The Vibes Are Off.

because they just are. like, there's lines of this song that just don't feel like they fit with how it's SUPPOSED to be perceived, and one of the primary examples of this is "garner you in silk like a spider." that metaphor is just so.... Much. like it's not bad, it's a great line, but it doesn't fit with the idea that the singer is trying to show the subject all the things he can do for them, all the ways he can provide, and then he mentions something spiders do to their prey. it's strangely aggressive for the place it holds in the song, right after "i wanna be your provider", it's predatory, it's visual, and to me, it's kind of performative. this links into my other idea about how the difference in tone between the verses and the chorus of this song are jarring, somewhat, because you go from lines like "your guiding hand, your final decider" to lines like "your fingers foxtrot on my skin" and there IS a clear difference between the tone of these parts of the song. the verses of provider tend to lean in more to the singer holding dominance in the relationship, "the only good girl this side of the moon," but if we look back at other songs from st's discography, a lot of them tend to lean toward the opposite end of the spectrum. (see: Like That, Take Aim, Hypnosis, The Offering, Chokehold, Rain, Drag Me Under, and more). so to me this felt like quite the sudden deviation from what was a fairly common theme throughout their songs.

but like i said, the chorus kind of DOES follow that theme, it's the verses that don't really fit. which is why i theorise that the verses are the singer's way of proving that he can provide, be what the subject wants, because that shift in tone is what they want, they want the singer to take on that role and play that part for the subject's benefit. and the singer is doing so and trying to prove he can do so, through the verses. however, the choruses/bridge are more genuine messages from the singer, such as "when you look at me like that, got me fallin' right back," and it's that level of honesty that is why the singer percieves it to be a love song.

BUT. coming back to those dual narratives i mentioned earlier, there are parts for Provider that really feel like they don't hit the way they were possibly intended to. the spider metaphor for one, but also "your outer shell, your secret insider," which is supposed to be protective but the second part implies a level of control that maybe isn't as romantic as it sounds. "just let me know that you're mine," (link back to Mine from TPWBYT – the central line of that song is "you will be mine," so no choice in that one). the point is that i think that the singer intended for Provider to come across as a declaration of devotion and love and promise, but the songwriting creates a slightly darker side of it that it's possible the character of Vessel doesn't even realise is there.

so i come onto the SECOND narrative, which is that vessel* (the songwriter) is kind of pointing at this song and going. Hey this is a little messed up. because it kind of is! it's common knowledge that a lot of sleep token's songs, especially their early stuff from Sundowning such as Blood Sport, deals with being in/the aftermath of an abusive relationship, one that's both physically and emotionally controlling and manipulative. it's Not good, and vessel*'s lyrics have really never shyed away from explaining what that experience is like and how it can kind of really fuck you up psychologically speaking. sometimes you don't fully realise how badly it can fuck you up.

in short, what i think is happening here is that provider from the singer's perspective is supposed to be a genuine declaration of love and devotion, but from a songwriting perspective, the parts that don't quite fit into that narrative are intentionally to show that the singer doesn't realise stuff like the fact that comparing your lover to prey and yourself like a spider kind of doesn't come off as romantic as you hope it does. it's an incredibly well-written song lyrically, because you have this character of vessel who kind of doesn't realise that the way he's professing this love to the subject doesn't entirely come across the way he wants it to, and the reason for that may even be the trilogy of albums that precede even in arcadia, detailing his relationship with Sleep and what it did to him.

healthy relationships are about balance and mutual trust and respect, but Provider is yet another song where it pushes just a little too far over that line, and the promises vessel (the character) is making to his lover start to border on dangerous. because if we assume that this is post-Sleep and all That has happened, that devotion kind of ranges from all or nothing, and he starts to actually dig into his own flesh to keep his lover satisfied, the way he has in the past (and we actually see some of the aftereffects of this in Gethsemane, but that's a different post)

arcadia as an album has a central running theme of the aftermath, of looking back on the world and who you are after it's spat you out, and it's still watching you but you're waiting for it to leave you behind. in the context of the storyline of the band, vessel has possibly even ascended to some level of godhood in his own right. but, like Damocles, he's steadily discovering that even in Arcadia, the past will never fully leave you alone.

@tessasilverswan @blondeandfivefeeteven @absolutely-existing

[serpentface]

Question 6 for the Haidamane siblings?

Does your OC show courtesy in their language around others - do they routinely thank others, or do they only do so if they percieve that person as being of a higher social status?

-Couya actually has the worst overall speech etiquette of the three of them, and is much less likely to force expected performance of courteous language (and other behaviors) if she doesn't actually think it's earned. Her gut impulse is to say what she means, and she'll usually opt to just not say anything at all rather than fake graciousness. She tends to come off as very blunt and rude, and its very hard to tell the difference between active hostility and her just being Like That. Doesn't perform a lot of 'thank you's- the primary verbal form of 'thank you' is either deeply polite/gracious or an or an obligation of deferential etiquette, while a nonverbal nod is a standard gracious gesture that does not imply deference. Couya almost exclusively uses the latter, if anything at all. (She can get away with this because she socially outranks or is equal to the vast majority of people she encounters on a day to day basis, but that doesn't mean people don't find it rude).

The main exception is that she IS consistently polite wrt names (you call a person by their surname or honorific rather than the 'you' pronoun and especially not their given name unless you're on a very familiar basis. Doing otherwise is extremely insulting, though can be Gotten Away With if the status differential is high enough). She doesn't cross name boundaries even if she fucking hates and has no respect for a person because she thinks of it as a two way street, she'll only call you by your given name if you can do the same for her.

She does perform verbal courtesies consistently to people She regards as having a higher social status or is absolutely Obligated to. Her showing marked courtesy in situations where it's unprompted and not an expectation is also like, the first overt signal most people get that she likes you as a person.

-Faiza comes off polite but has a talent for witholding courtesies that are somewhat expected but not social Obligations without coming off hostile. This is kind of a skill when navigating Wardi etiquette, a means of regulating people's behavior towards you on a subconscious level by demonstrating the security of your position relative to theirs without active hostility or obvious posturing. She's really good at this (and related social strategies) and it's a major contributing factor to how she's gotten herself into circles high above her initial station.

She and Couya actually exhibit similar levels of verbal courtesy but Faiza still comes off polite because she's very tactful with it, when she withholds it she doesn't otherwise 'break character' or signal that this is a conscious act. It either goes unnoticed and accepted as natural, or you notice and feel the ugly realization of 'wow she doesn't respect me at All' but there's nothing you can really do about it (like, she's not being rude I guess...).

-Janeys is, in fact, the most verbally courteous of the three of them but comes off (/is) rude because he is nearly incapable of masking feelings of disdain. Like he'll perform the expected verbal/gestural behaviors of courtesy towards people he outright hates but it will be glaringly obvious through every other mannerism that he's doing it through gritted teeth. He'll completely abstain from courtesies when he is not strongly expected, obligated, or personally driven to do so, and makes too much of a point of behaviorally emphasizing this. He also has a tendency to flex on people by referring to them with inappropriate over-familiarity (sometimes outright crossing first name boundaries) which is REALLY rude and something you can only do without making enemies if you're extremely confident and casual about it (almost like, behaviorally persuading them that it's natural and appropriate you're on a one-sided first name basis with them. He is not capable of this).

This has the opposite effect of the Faiza strategy, it's demonstrating your position in a very insecure way and thus undermining it in the process. The message received is "I was born to a high name and my daddy has hard social power over you, so I do too. You are obligated to tolerate this, please respect me. Please." rather than "I am an asset to my name. My station is natural, as is your respect". His behavior defaulting to withholding courtesies as a desperate posturing of his social status unless he just happens to really like you is a major part of why very few people like or respect him.

---

COMPLETE TANGENT: Translating their general approaches to etiquette into the vastly different cultural context of customer service.

-Couya: responds to your script of "Hi how are you today" with 'okay', speaks as minimally as possible during the interaction, doesn't say thank you, responds to the 'have a nice day' part of your script with 'okay' again and leaves.

-Faiza: you're just trying to move through your customer service script but she is way too chatty, makes sure to establish that she has a well-paying job and she's currently in the middle of some leisure activity and it's such a nice day out. Says expected 'thank you's and is never overtly rude but the entire time you get the distinct sense she both looks down on you and pities you.

-Janeys: solid chance he responds "Bad, thanks" to your default greeting. Your response to this and the chain of events to follow (combined with factors beyond your control) can set the chances of him ending this encounter with a demand to speak with your manager to anywhere between a baseline of 25% to a 100% guarantee.

[tapestryundone]

i think tpatd is meant to in all facets be a representation of chaoter 1 from the princesses pov which is generally obvious yes but theres also the fact that she has two diff tones and she reverts to her old design and i think this in itself is bc its meant to be the reverse of chapter 1. and it makes me lose it. ive talked abt it a bunch w friends that all the chapters added by the pristine cut are meant to better emphasize how the princess is affected by the construct bc before it was easier for ppl to miss just how much the construct has hurt her. and the cage, tpatd, and hea all highlight this. all of them are routes that force the player tosee things from her perspective, and tpatd is the most blatant about it in that it literally forces you into her position. like hea and the cage are both routes that are very emotionally honest with the player where tpatd is less about the princess and quiet connecting emotionally so much as quiet learning about how she sees things very literally and becoming close thru that. bc in order to even get to tpatd quiet must adamantly believe that the princess is a threat (the game implies that quiet doesnt choose to do fucked up things for the sake of it, but rather bc he genuinely thinks he has to- like how, regardless of player intent w leaving her in the basement, she becomes a threat, and bc she becomes how she is percieved, he only leaves her down there if he genuinely is frightened by her), but this goes out the window the second the two are together. up to this pt quiet only sees her as smth dangerous and untrustworthy but being in her mind forces him to understand that he didnt actually Know her, he just had an Idea of her that he was told by someone else. maybe theres something to be said about the fact that she reverts to a very chapter 1 like version of herself after quiet gets stuck in her mind and how, at the end sequence of the game, the heart of the shifting mound also does this. it makes me feel like tpatd princess is meant to allude to the heart of tsm in general. like how the stranger is meant to evoke the idea of tsm, tpatd does the same for the heart

[conkreetmonkey]

idk if I've posted this before, but an UT/DR headcanon I have and don't see in others often is that humans in those worlds are not the same as the humans from ours. They're definitely more similar to us than the monsters are, but they're not the same "species" as what we'd consider to be a normal human in our world.

For starters, they can have bright yellow skin. That is straight-up canon. While we've never actually seen two humans interact in canon unless you want to count the end of genocide (which I won't because I interpret it as Chara talking to YOU, not Frisk), the fact that we now have two separate individuals with this skin tone does sort of imply it's normal. It's not a colour it's possible for a human to naturally be in our world; even when one has jaundice, it's not bright-ass Lego minifigure yellow. These kids are the colour of poison dart frogs. They're the colour of a hazard strip. That's not normal.

Given both this hint that these humans are different and the fact that all 3 humans seen in canon are universally addressed by they/them pronouns and are completely androgynous, I have a headcanon/theroy:

Humans in these worlds have no male/female sexes, no concept of gender, and no differing sexually dimorphic traits.

I do not think these humans have men and women. I think all humans are born as genderless, completely androgynous beings, and have no concept of gender within their societies. I have no idea how they'd reproduce, but I imagine them as having either no genitalia, or all having the same "set," and what it looks/functions like I have no clue. Honestly, I'm kind of leaning towards mitosis.

I like this idea for the following reasons:

Mettaton EX being so androgynous despite his identifying as a binary male would be a thing he lifted from humans, being such a fan of them and all. The thing with the four, five and six fingered gloves heavily implies he wanted his body to appear as human as possible, and I suppose that could mean combining what we would consider to be masculine and feminine traits into one metal genderbeast.

It adds a touch of "gremlinous creature" vibes to all 3 human characters; "inhuman" anatomy despite being explicitly, plot-importantly human.

The confusion about reproduction and just how tf not having gender or bio sex would work I and you are feeling right now is EXACTLY how monsters, the main in-universe demographic of both games, would feel.

Feels kind of Homestuck troll-ey, which is always a plus in any Toby Fox project because it solicits groans.

Things I percieve as flaws in this headcanon:

Kind of discredits the non-binary identities of the human characters, especially Kris, whose themes of identity, control over one's body and teenage angst are strongly complimented by a trans identity. If these characters were born non-binary, though, they wouldn't be trans for continuing to identify as such, for the same reason Mettaton and Mad Mew Mew are trans for being born genderless yet having a binary identity.

While opening narrative doors, also closes them... this is again very Kris-centric because they're older, but I've just seen so many portrayals of Kris as a non-binary kid stuck in a perisex body going through puberty that are really interesting and compliment their angst. Binders, facial hair, periods, voice changes... can't do anything with that anymore if these humans don't go through puberty as we know it, and that makes them less relatable.

It just feels bad to hc away canon trans rep like this, yk? UT/DR certainly wouldn't be hurting for it without human trans characters, but they're canonically trans, non-binary playable characters in a mainstream game. That is INSANELY rare. I cannot think of a single other example. Trans mcs are rare enough in mainstream media as a whole, let alone non-binary ones. To strip these characters of that to non-binarify their entire species feels a little... tradeoff-ey.

[wan1o]

I LOVE NAOSHI USUI (as a villain)

(TW: mentions of murder, somewhat implied incest, and obsessive relationships. Viewer discretion is advised)

.

.

.

imagine you are this guy and your parents get killed and you kill the killers (at a very young age), so a further branch of your family takes you in and you meet this girl there who you obsess over because she totally is the only one who could ever understand you and help you, only for her to be taken away as a arranged marriage to save her family from it's destruction. To then, when you reach out to search for her, it turns out, she's dead, and the only thing left from her is her young daughter from that very same marriage???

yea, that's what happened to Naoshi Usui.

Ok look gang, i am a man of the shoujo, i love watching sappy cute anime about people being in love and the drama that follows, so i had, for a while been watching my happy marriage. A Cinderella type story that follows saimori miyo, a young woman, imprisoned in an abusive family due to her not having any special abilities (we'll pick up on that later). However plot happens and she ends up becoming the fiancée of one kudo kiyoka, the best man in the world. However, today we are not talking about either of them, we are talking about the villain. Naoshi Usui.

The man is just soo, interesting? to me, even though this wasn't on my top rated shoujo... Just, the motives and psychology of this man, truly immersive. Granted, it could very well be just me projecting my personal interpretation onto him, but isn't that the point of stories?.

So, you see. Naoshi Usui is the head of your average run of the mill evil organization the "gifted communion" a group of gifted (as in, have powers) individuals who are overthrowing the government for what i can only describe as religious purposes. I'll be honest, i don't care a lot about the organization as a whole but only how it fits from what is seen from Naoshi.

As previously mentioned, Naoshi is, an orphan, and a murderous one at that. Right after seeing his parents get murdered he kills the perpetrators aswell (this is, using his special ability I.e power, that let's him alter all 5 senses a person possesses, yeah, it's a very scary thing). After that he gets taken in by the Usuba, a further away branch from his family.

This leads to a possible punishment of sorts, for the Usuba family is prohibited from inflicting any damage upon non-gifted people, like the ones Naoshi murdered. The plan was, to put in bluntly, ctrl + alt + delete his powers (i don't currently remember how that was meant to be done??? but that's not important now), however, before this he meets Sumi, a member of the Usuba family and, here i have to go on a little tangent.

As mentioned before the Usuba and Usui are related vaguely, the show never bothers to actually explain how further off they are, and the only margin of reference if that they call each other counsin.... Not ideal surely, this is something you have to just sort of accept in the narrative (however there could be case made of them being political cousins, which is an entirely different thing and would, just a tad, erase the uncomfortable possibility of them being blood related)

Now with that out of the way, let's resume.

There's something interesting in the way that Usui percieves Sumi as this "could do no wrong saint" as opposite to himself, he certainly idolizes here, and while, of course, this being a romance anime we won't know a lot about the mother and whether or not Naoshi's perception of her is correct, it's somewhat fun to ponder about it, because it's clear that he is very obsessed with her, infact we don't even really know whether or not she returned his feelings.

It's a common case of being and outcast and attaching to the first person that made him feel, human for a while. It's also heavily implied that she was basically his only connection, h

Then, there's the promise they made to each other and the arranged marriage of Sumi. It is clear from Naoshi's reaction, he didn't really care about the Usuba family's future, only Sumi (and by extension his) role on it, he promised to Sumi he'd be her sheath, not because he really cared about whether or not she had oneiric powers, just because she was Sumi. So naturally, the second Sumi proved not to be the dreams priestess, his first thought was to run away with her. Thought she declined, she wasn't in it for any other reason than for the Usuba, she didn't view it the same way as him.

Then, the last time he ever got to see her alive, was then, after that, what remained of her was already in a coffin.

Right after her death was that Usui even cared about the Usuba, trying by his evil organization to accomplish her dream, not matter how evil his ways. He even calls her daughter his own, as if she, and her memory belonged to him, and him only. It can also be said his posterior actions are even a revenge, against the very same system that took her away, against the very same rules that further aggravated his loneliness

Anyways I love Naoshi Usui, this isn't at all meant to justify him but just because the brainworms are real, and i think he's a very well crafted villain

[lazygravez]

thoughts that im too tired to polish the presentation of

being ace is crazy because even though i know im part of the outlier when it comes to how you percieve bodies, i feel like im the normal one and everyone else around me is the weird one

like, the sight (or description) of body parts that arent even inherently sexual but are culturally considered sexual so therefore attractive can make you feel physically hot (in temperature) and makes your heart rate go up? it seems so fake. like a magic spell or something

"tits or ass?" idk man both are gross!!!! get away from me!!!!!

(of course theres overlap with objectification here but rn im just talking about being ace)

and are genitals supposed to be attractive? im not even sure whether genitals are aesthetically pleasing for most people. is it because they make you think about how sex feels or because they are actually attractive looking to you? actually genuine question

whenever the concept of squeezing someones chest or butt comes up i actually cringe. another genuine question: HUHH?????? is that actually pleasant for either person involved????????

quick edit: im not trying to imply that being allo is bad or that everyone is a pervert im simply sharing my perspective

[alicentsgf]

i won't lie, i did read it as shauna having some repressed spite, but she also was very much drunk and 17? 18? like it's not the best moment for either of them, but they are both young and stupid. it's not some "irredeemably evil all along" moment, it's two not even 20 yrs olds doing stupid shit that might hurt the third person they both are going behind. like it's shitty thing at worst, not evil thing.

Yeah, exactly, its not even nearly on the same level idk why people bring it up like its comparable or even relevant.

Like idk its still hard to figure out shaunas exact motivation when im certain she doesnt even know what it was. and i know what you mean, a lot of people would say it was "spite". i think its not far off that, it was at least partly based in a need for control or retaliation. to have something big jackie didnt know about because shauna felt like jackie was pulling the strings of her entire life, so she was pushing back against that. not telling jackie about Brown was yet another element of the same thing. but for me calling it spite or revenge implies shauna was actively trying to hurt or humilate jackie in some way, and imo that wasnt the object at all. it was only ever about how it made shauna feel in the moment.

my view on it is, whatever complex mix of intense feelings shauna had towards jackie; jealousy, love, resentment, attraction, etc, sex with jeff offered some momentary relief. its as if she realised he offered her the perfect way to be close to jackie whilst also rebelling against her percieved control. ultimately that experience, finding a way to merge those two things into one act, was probably really gratifying. just not for any of the usual reasons sex is (sorry jeff). which is why, after a day of watching jackie and feeling suffocated/controlled and then drinking, she does it a second time. with the day she'd had, she was probably itching for it. the emotional cartharsis was likely more pleasurable than the actual sex.

[sandymybeloved]

okay, I don't know how much sense this is going to make but its been bugging me so bear with

you know how sometimes when people in a fandom go long enough without going back and rewatching/rereading/relistening to/rewhatever, that they end up with slightly warped ideas about the characters and story that are far more based on fanon than anything in the source material. I think the same thing happens with criticisms of shows, some mild critique people had at the time becomes so pervasive and considered so all consuming that it no longer gels with the source material

what got me thinking about this was reading the tags in the @adventure-showdown tournament. a not uncommon thing I read is saying they only remember a single great moment from an episode, but they remember the other story completely, so the other story must be magnitudes better. and when someone is implying that because they only remember the gallery scene from vincent and the doctor, the surrounding episode wasn't worthwhile or even any good, I can't help but think, when was the last time you watched it? was it in 2010 when it aired, if you don't remember anything other than the scene that is regularly shared, and you're criticising based on your lack of memory alone, that just doesn't end up gelling with the episode, its not really a fair criticism

more broadly, half the criticisms I see of Moffat who are almost nonsensical to me as someone who does rewatch. (I'm not going to go into the sexism stuff, my opinions on that are far too nuanced and complicated to make a good example)

one of the most common criticisms is that it made the doctor too important, which every time I see it I can't help but wonder if the person saying it even watched in the first place. Because the thing is this is an idea the moffat era actively engages in constantly, and its not a late development at all, and the conclusion it constatly comes too is that the doctor's ego is too big, he's not as important and powerful as he, or the companions, or the audience percieve him to be.

in eleven's second episode, his plan for the star whale is wrong, it's amy who concludes the star whale won't run away and wants to help. in the series 5 finale, eleven makes a big speech to all his enemies gathered above about how they're afraid of him, and it doesn't work, it is at best a minor delay in their plan, he still ends the episode trapped in the pandorica, AND it turns out the doctor was not the excistential threat they were trying to stop, its the TARDIS, they're only imprisoning him as they (wrongly) think he's the only one capable of flying her

in series 6, in a good man goes to war, after the doctor is done parading about the place, after he's done with his massive ego trip and thinking he's won the day, it turns out he hasn't, he got amy back, but not her baby, melody is gone, and any reuniting that happens later in the series has nothing to do with him in any meaningful sense. a good man goes to war is the doctor getting cocky and it ends badly for his friends

its only more explicit in the capaldi era whre 12 regularly pushes back against people considering him anything more than a guy pottering about the universe in a box helping where he can. yes he is made president of earth, but he doesn't want that, he doesn't want authority. In fact series 10 has several of his most meaningful loses, in extremis there's nothing he can do but get a message out, in oxygen he loses his sight to save bill, in the pyramid at the end of the world the world enters a state of dystopia because bill wants to save him, in the doctor falls he loses everything, including his life, only the audience knows any differently

'moffat made the doctor too important' is not a criticism that gels when you actually watch the show, because it is something his era grapples with, is the doctor powerful, is he important to the universe, and if he is, is it a problem and who for. but the criticism isn't completely unfounded, not liking the material fact that 12 got made president of earth is fine, but 5 years removed its a criticism thats warped and changed into something unrecognisable as a criticism of the show its from, when the show says at one point, not even as subtext, that 12 is just a guy travelling around in a blue box, dropping in and helping out where he can.

anyway, this is helpful to me in that i don't like assuming people are speaking in bad faith, sometimes people do just haven't rewatched recently

[traumatizeddfox]

Idk where I stand on the term narc abuse but 2 things to bring up.

First, the jury is out on if abuse via narcissistic tendencies (not related to npd inherently) via specifically the term "narc abuse" is real or not. Theres both official and unofficial sources, charities, University/medical journals, etc that acknowledge it as different from more common forms of abuse/how the abuse is brought on and why (someone being physically abused due to their abuser being on drugs and over-reacting to a small trigger vs someone getting physically abused due to percieved sin/religious undertones will have varying experiences, ones that reasonably involve different labels) this warrants a different label and plenty that do not and criticize it. I won't judge a terminology when even medical professionals can't seem to decide yay or nay. I just figured I'd mention it because the only way people know this term usually is TikTok but it's actually older than TikTok, they just picked it up. There is a difference between someone with npd and someone whose a narcissist in a non-medical/mood/personality disorder way and I do think the people trying to use the term should differentiate the two but to be fair, most people don't even know about npd and therefore would only be talking about egotistical people, not nessesarily pwnpd. I also think it's nessesary to bring up that Tumblr has obscure and hyper niche veiws on topics with zero room for conversation and just as plenty of pwnpd on Tumblr are adverse to the term, there also plenty of pwnpd on Tumblr and other platforms who acknowled/support it as a term, do not take offense and/or understand its usage and what it means without direct correlation to the disorder but more as a grouping of actions/beliefs with the label outside of medical contexts. The term narcissist and the actions associated have existed as a stand alone personality type (like sloth doesn't automatically mean someone with Chronic fatigue syndrome or Thief doesn't mean kleptomaniac) long before the disorder got its name and associations, plenty of people call egoists narcissists and it's not offensive suddenly. Understanding words have multiple meanings and contexts is important here, Rape dosent even automatically mean sexual assualt, sometimes it just means steal or kidnapping. All this to say it's budding mental health related language, it will take what already exists and expand upon it. Same as when the words triggers and gaslighting got popular then promptly died. Your free to take your stance, I'm not invalidating it, I'm just sharing some facts cause as a long time user of Tumblr, it seriously screwed my views of the world and narrowed them to a pin prick about what's acceptable and agreed upon and what isn't and should be shunned. Only after stepping outside the site did I learn just how little 90% of discourse here actually matters and affects the world at large. Consider this whole part devil's advocate but presenting only the people who side with you as evidence when this isn't a "is climate change real?" Sort of stance where 98% of the field agrees is disingenuous. The field is split here and very few people are actually considering this label to specifically mean pwnpd and more mean specific forms of mental and emotional abuse and neglect that usually comes from a place where the abuser sees themselves as better than others, see the victims as threats to their high standing and see others as means to their ends. Again, Idk if I support the term or not, I'm just relaying information.

Lastly, #2, trying to say that anyone who feels they are a victim of specifically "narc abuse" is just trying to "feel special" is fucking horrific and invalidating regardless of your feelings on the term. Regardless of the words they use to describe the abuse they experienced, they still experienced abuse and trying to imply they are lieing or attention-seeking is fundamentally abuse-apologist shit. The same shit gets said to every other victim of abuse and just because you don't like the label dose not mean they think they are special or different and what they describe is suddenly not fucking abuse. They are still actively victims even if they arnt perfect ones. I'm disabled, I'm fully aware if the term "disabled abuse" came out cause a few people got beat with grandma's cane or their disabled abuser used their mobility aid to hurt them I'd be fighting it cause that's not fair and disabled only means one thing, however, I would never EVER invalidate their trauma from that physical abuse. I would never say they never experienced any wrongs or they think they are special cause it was abuse from a disabled person. No matter where you stand, that was a fucking terrible thing to say and imply. You can shit on a label without invalidating real victims of real abuse. No one in this debate was questioning the victims until you just did, they only criticized the label they were using. You can get that victim-blaming perfect-victim shit and shove it up your ass. And no, I'm not a victim of that form of abuse, if it even exists, but I can see shit when I hear it and that was shit. Shame on you for that.

Okay first thing I want to say first is this. i am sorry if u read my post and misread it or misinterpreted what i was saying. i was not victim blaming anyone lmfao. I was NOT invalidating anyone when I said those who have been abused by narcissists think theyre special. what I was trying to say is that the language around narc abuse is that victims seem to talk about it like its a worse type of abuse. i see people say "if you have been abused by a narcissist its because they saw how special u are!!" and i think thats not ok to tell victims bc victims will romantizie why they were abused!! i remember believing my abuser (who does have npd btw) only abused me bc i was so special and he hated that!! but in reality, he abused me because he's an abuser. an abuser might be triggered by someone, they might hate someone and thats why they abuse. an abuser might have a disorder that can make them react abusively, but its because theyre an abuser. there are plenty of ppl without disorders who abuse, and there are those with npd who dont also abuse. its not a hive mind.

i do not understand why u think i was telling someone that they werent abused. if u spend more than 2 seconds on my blog u will know i validate everyone who has ever been a victim, and those who will become victims.

BUT my point was there are victims out there who seem to treat narc abuse like its a badge. we dont walk around and say ptsd abuse bc ppl would lose their shit if we ever did that. "Narc abuse" is not anything different than any other kind of abuse. can an abuser have npd? yes. can the npd make an abuser respond in a unique or different way? yes same with any pd. but narc abuse is just emotional abuse. ppl will say narc abuse and then go onto explain everything that an abuser does. "Theyre selfish" "They want control" yeah thats an abuser. i think the problem is people now look at symptoms of abuse and say narcissist. i literally see ppl call anyone a narcissist these days.

the issue i have with this as well is that i have seen and heard victims wonder if they are valid because their abuser doesnt have npd bc these victim spaces especially Tiktok have created this belief that abusers are narcissists and ONLY narcissists. can they be? yes. but can an abuser also be a neurotypical? yes.

abusers are just abusers. we dont need to slap some label on there. now is there different levels of abuse? yes ofc. emotional abuse, physical, spiritual, financial, etc are all different kinds of abuse. being abused by ur mother is different than being abused by ur teacher, or partner, etc. but it doesnt mean its worse. ofc there are SITUATIONS that can be considered "worse" in the eyes of the law but at the end of the day. abuse is abuse. a broken ankle is still a broken ankle no matter how it got broken.

victims are all on the same playing field but they try to fight each other and we need to stand together and realize that abusers are the issue!! i dont have any ISSUE or problem with victims who say they were abused by a narcissist but i do have an issue when ppl say narc abuse. and i know a lot of victims who say narc abuse might not even realize what theyre saying. i remember being that person until i started to talk to pwpd, espeically npd, did more research and realized how stigmatizing it is.

the MAIN issue with saying narc abuse is that what ur saying to people with npd that 1) they are not valid if they have been abused. 2) they are abusers. this is dangerous because its generalizing an entire group of those with a disorder that can not change or fix. a lot of victims worry if they have been the abuser bc abusers fuck with ur head thinking ur the bad guy, so if someone with npd sees a post that says all narcissists are abusers they might believe they are one when they arent. im speaking very general. every person with npd is a unique person and i dont SUPPORT every single person with npd bc ofc there are monsters out there who are also abusers , but i do support that people with npd get support and are also included when ppl say mental health matters, or believe all victims.

no one is saying that those with npd cant be abusers, what were trying to change is the language !!! before people believe everyone with schizophrenia was a violent killer until we learned that is not true. we need to do the same with personality disorders.

the history of the word rape does come from the meaning to steal, seize, or carry away but there is PLENTY of words we use in today that are not the same. just look up the history of the word "mother fucker" and you will never want to ever say that ever again. but i dont see what this has to do with ur point in mental health. no one would ever say rape when they mean "steal" we just dont use that word in that way anymore. but to add to this, its a great example as a way to change the meaning of narcissists to be only used for those with the disorder. (yeah ppl can have narcisstic tendencies, we ALL have some level of it, its how we survive but thats different than having a disorder.)

i know tumblr has always had weird takes, and some stuff is strictly an online discourse and doesnt happen irl, but that doesnt mean we cant change the way people view mental health. people have misused gaslighting, triggers, but that doesn't mean we cant stop or change that. most people learn to adapt.

but to finish, i understand where ur coming from and im sorry if u saw my post and were upset but when i see others with npd wishing they could die because they feel like a monster just because they have a diagnosis, it shatters me knowing they feel like there is no support. even therapists are sketchy with pwpd. i just think that we need to change the language around abuse. just say abuse idk why thats so hard!

[sleepingdeath-light]

relationship hcs ; sylvie

requested by ; anonymous (06/06/23)

fandom(s) ; epithet erased

fandom masterlist(s) ; here

character(s) ; sylvester ashling / sylvie

outline ; “Idk iif you write for Sylvie but could you do dating headcanons for Sylvie/Sylvester with a s/o ( who is a teen- around the same age as him)? Epithet Erased”

warning(s) ; none, just fluff!

it almost goes without saying, but sylvester is not an easy person to get close to — let alone close enough to end up in a romantic relationship with him. he’s standoffish, snobbish, snarky, and just generally unpleasant to be around at first, but once you get to know him and earn his trust he’ll prove himself to be an extremely empathetic and considerate partner… at least considering his age and how he treats others, anyway

sylvie wants to be percieved as mature and adult by his peers and that desire influences his approach to your relationship in a variety of ways: he keeps any pda to a minimum (some handholding and maybe a kiss on the cheek when you part ways if he can muster up the courage for it), texts you just frequently enough to not seem like he’s ghosting you while having the texting habits of a grandfather, tries to act like a gentleman when you’re out on dates (handing you his coat, pulling out your chair, holding open doors for you, etc.), and he refuses to call you anything that isn’t your first name or a pet name that is on the more traditional and respectable side — it’s all very performative, but sweet in its own way

and it’s even sweeter when you respond by acting like an actual teenager and throwing him off to the extent that all your poor boyfriend can do is stutter out halfhearted scolding remarks as his face, ears, and neck turn the most brilliant shade of scarlet you’ve ever seen in your life. call him dumb pet names like ‘shnookums’ or ‘baby cakes’, tackle-hug him in public, blow raspberries at him while you’re having a playful disagreement in public, drag him to the nearest park to play on the swings when the younger kids are in school, etc. — let him act his age and don’t let him weasel his way out of having fun

he’ll complain the whole time, but he loves you it really

if you have longer hair then he’ll make a habit of keeping hair ties on his wrist just in case you ever need one while you’re together — and when that day finally comes he will be so very smug about the whole thing (please tell him he did a good thing, please)

when you’re together he brags a lot about his strengths and accomplishments because he wants your admiration and praise more than anything else, what with you being his partner and all, and if you do decide to play along — show interest in his studies, compliment him for his intellect, get excited about his epithet with him — then he’ll get so happy that he might just end up dropping the whole ‘super mature genius’ act he puts on

though he would never admit to this, he does get jealous and he gets jealous often and it’s extremely obvious when he does. he gets pouty and huffy, visibly impatient as he tries to get your attention on him so you can leave, and then really petty as he starts insulting and lashing out at whoever you’re talking to at the time — heavily implying or outright stating that they’re stupid and that talking to them is a waste of both of your time so you should just leave already

how fittingly childish

after a long stressful day of studying or researching or dealing with adults who talk down to him because of his age, sylvie loves nothing more than collapsing onto your lap and ranting to you about his troubles while you play with his hair and offer him your sympathies

[quartztwst]

I understand that "fem" implies being "a woman" which is a gender norm but I think a male wanting to be female IS breaking these norms if you think about it.

Men who are not comfortable being men or seen as men but rather as women.

i lean towards disliking transfem vil, but i think you made fine points i just dislike how you phrased this

if someone breaks a gender norm by both being said gender and appearing as said gender, that’s not gender non conforming. if a trans male individual wanted to break gender norms, then dressing as a man isn’t breaking those norms if they’re playing into those norms to pass better

also the second part could just be phrased better because if a person wanted to be seen as and identify as a different gender from they one they were assigned at birth, they ARE that gender. it can’t be a man wanting to be a woman because that’s kinda invalidating the trans woman by referring to her as “a man that doesn’t want to be seen as a man”

granted i could understand if you meant it as presentation as opposed to identification

my take is that when it comes to gender and possible transcoding, it really depends on canon because if vil specified that he is a man who just wants to sometimes present femininely then that’s valid obviously. but to hc him as transfem if that were the case invalidates his desire to still be perceived as male

anyway it’s been years since i played so idk what vil has specifically said about his gender, im just giving my input as a nonbinary person lol

YEAH i was a little confused on how to phrase the second one 😭 i went through rewrites of it and im sorry that I sounded offensive. It was not my intention. I meant it like how transfems are uncomfortable with presenting as a cis male rather with what they actually identify with.

I think my perspective of gender norms was really different from what other people saw because i thought it was like basically getting out of what people percieve you to be but this makes much more sense. I’m sorry if I sounded weird or bigoted while writing that certain section.