#<- i'm not sure if they actually have a ship name if they do lmk

[aayurirare]

PROMPTS Oct 7th: Parallels Oct 8th: Taking Care Oct 9th: Fall Activities Oct 10th: Flowers Oct 11th: Gifts Oct 12th: Free Day Oct 13th: Greetings & Farewells Prompts are finally here! We look forward to seeing all your amazing works this October.

In the meantime, the mod will be featuring content for various AA yuri rarepairs (fics, art, etc.) on this blog. If you have any suggestions, feel free to send a message or ask, or tag us in posts!

>>RULES POST<<

[gh0st-t0wn3]

CW // Ship discourse rant (Dragonfruit, Spicynoodles)

(Before anything I just wanna say that I don't like getting involved in ship discourse, it's incredibly stupid in my opinion but this actually really bothered me so I had to make a post about it, and this is likely the only post I will be making about the situation. I might also delete this later but I wanted to get my thoughts out)

Also, no shade to Dragonfruit shippers, I know not all of them are like this, but they seem to do this the most from what I've seen personally which is why I'm mainly talking about them.

I'm not sure if other people are dealing with this or if I just happen to be unlucky, but I keep seeing twt and tiktok posts about Spicynoodles being brothers and saying that the ship is problematic by Dragonfruit shippers and this kind of content keeps popping up no matter how many times I click "Not interested" and it's starting to get on my nerves.

It's so incredibly stupid, and not only that but I keep seeing Dragonfruit shippers say things like "if you hate Dragonfruit that means you hate sapphics", "people would like Dragonfruit more if it was mlm", "people who say Dragonfruit gives them sibling vibes hate wlw ships", "Dragonfruit is more likely to be canon", commenting about MK and Redson being brothers/cousins on Spicynoodles ship posts and more.

And maybe some of that's true, maybe some people who don't like Dragonfruit right now would like it more if it was mlm but maybe - JUST MAYBE - some people just have different opinions on these characters dynamics that have nothing to do with their gender identities or if a ship is straight or not.

Personally I think Mei and Redson have nothing more than a platonic relationship, she constantly gets his name wrong on purpose and bothers him whenever she can and overall acts alot like how an annoying sister/best friend would, and if I'm being entirely honest seeing Dragonfruit ship posts makes me a little uncomfortable, but I don't go around commenting that on Dragonfruit posts, I just click "not interested" and scroll and the fact that so many Dragonfruit shippers feel the need to start unnecessary conflict instead of just scrolling or even blocking them is absolutely infuriating.

Also the whole "people who don't like Dragonfruit just hate sapphics" is also stupid considering it's not even a sapphic ship to begin with, Redson is canonically a man and if you hc him as genderfluid, like so many other people do, or as transfem or something else I think that's great, you do you, I love seeing peoples headcanons for these characters. But that doesn't change the fact that he's a man in canon and if you're so delusional and captivated by your own headcanons to the point where you think someone disliking a F/M ship automatically means they hate sapphics then you need to get some serious help.

I've seen multiple accounts now in the lmk Fandom that exist purely to bash on Spicynoodles and Spicynoodlesshippers, constantly commenting on their posts about how much better Dragonfruit is and that MK and Redson are related because DBK and Wukong are Sworn Brothers so that means you can't ship them.

And this doesn't go just for Dragonfruit shippers - yes, this post is mainly about the Dragonfruit shippers who do this since I've seen them do it the most (atleast in my personal experiences) - but just in general, if you dedicate your entire account to bashing other people's (non-problematic) ships and instigating unnecessary conflict in what should be a kind, welcoming and supportive community you need to get off the internet and work on yourself before anything else.

[botanicallyinclinednerd]

LMK season 2 episode 7:

Alright, this was one I was given an heads up on, shall see how this goes...

Oh shit it's the key guy! Shits about to go down...

You know, the "mayor" moves awfully mechanically... or even...puppet like

At this point I'm giving up and just shipping Tang and Pigsy, their ship name is literally FreeNoodles there is no downside here

Is this Macky?

I am *paying attention*

"It follows the tragic tale of a legendary warrior and how those that bring light into this world inevitably bring darkness to those they hold dear." I'm sure this isn't about either of the characters with "monkey" in their title

Okay Pigsy smiling like that over shushing Tang is really fucking funny

HE STOLE THEM USING THEIR SHADOWS????

Wow this shadow story totally isn't about Wukong and Macky, that's just silly

"The hero and the warrior were like the sun and the moon. Their light a protective glow shining upon the world. Together there was nothing that could stop the two of them either in the celestial realms or on earth. As time went on, the hero obtained power beyond compression. As the hero's light grew, so too did his shadow. Soon the warrior was cast in that shadow. In the darkness, the warrior was forgotten by the hero. " So clearly, he's got some abandonment issues

Also did not like how on the "cast in that shadow" a looming shadow figure that looked like the bone spirit was hanging over him

So I can see why Macky might have beef with MK

Aw, baby, MK is so insecure :(

Yeahhhh, probably not the best person to vent to... but he didn't know!

Macky, go to therapy. Talk to someone dude, work out your shit in a way that doesn't drag in teenage boys

Wait I'm a little bit confused. Is- is Macky doing this so MK doesn't push his friends away like Wukong did to him? Or am I having far too much good faith?

He did not actually! He realized they were gone and reached out to Mei trying to figure out what happened! Did he think they were *kidnapped*? No, but he's insecure, so he assumed they abandoned him!

I also think it's just you

Yeah, no he's got you there MK, you should have figured out it was him so much quicker than you did

"Somethings coming. Something you aren't even close to ready for. Don't worry. You can never have too many teachers. Right?" That's not ominous at all!

Alright, I feel like I just can't figure Macky out. What is his motivation here, who's side is he really on?

Okay so I'm gonna assume it's not truly on Lady Bone Demon's side, that doesn't seem like a willing or healthy partnership

[mint-is-here]

went bakc to finally watching lmk s4

have just watched ep 4 and am in the middle of ep 5 so heres my thoughts until now

ahem-

FREE NOODLES MOMENTTTTSSS

ITS NOT CANNON BUT MORE MOMENTSS WITH THEMM

my friend is going to be happy when we finally go watch s4 together she shipped tang and pigsy so yay

also pigsy got powersss i guessss

sort offf

alos pigsy being sorry not for trying to cook tang, but trying to cook tang badly

like if he was going ot cook tang at least do it well

anyway ep 5

PIGSY IS MK'S DAD THAT CANNON NOWWWW

HE DENIES IT BUT HE ISSS

also they finally realized the thing that i've been thinking of for months

that mk is the only one that isnt a decendent or reecarntion of the jttw cast

im happyyy

ALSO AO LIEEEE

FINALLY I GET TO SEE YOU GUYY I LOVE YOUU

i have read some fics with hi(theres this one shot where macaque helps him recover from the whole samdhi fire deal and its just so sweet)m and i had fallen in love with his design the moment i saw it so finally seeing him makes me happy:)

the way i screamed when he showed up

like ive only seen him aying "oh hey another person who got caught by the yellow robed demon(idk how to spell his chinese name)" and i'm just. so hyped

also wtf is going on with mk and the rock deal??? i am confused

like is he an actual stone monkey??? ive seen a LOT of stuff about his monkey form but i'm not sure what it is exaclty

anyway i'm going ot finish ep now:)))))

[special-bc-ur-part-of-it]

fic writer 20 questions

thanks to @kurtsascot for the tag !!!

idk who has or hasn't been tagged yet, but imma tag @rockitmans @shame-is-a-wasted-emotion @thaliaisalesbian and anyone else who wants to play :)

how many works do you have on ao3?

22 :)

2. what's your ao3 word count

99,816

3. what fandoms do you write for?

glee <3

4. top 5 fics by kudos

3 a.m. (80 kudos)

Zip Tease (72 kudos)

Remote Learning (71 kudos)

New Adventures Summer Camp (58 kudos)

Running in Circles, Coming up Tails (56 kudos)

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

yes! i tend to respond to nearly every comment <3 bc i enjoy attention <3 and it's nice to talk to people <3

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i think it's probably knife with your heart up your sleeve. which still ends ambiguously but. i tend not to do the angsty ending lol

7. whats the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i'm gonna say Home for the Holidays because that fic is nothing but holiday fluff <3

8. do you get hate on fics?

thankfully no. i've seen a couple passive-agressive comments before, and @cerriddwenluna lovingly said "jail for iz" in a 'live-blog' comment on New Adventures Summer Camp once, but no actual hate yet <3

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

i tend not to. if i do, it'll probably end up pretty sappy romantic and non-explicit (see: run away to mars)

10. do you write crossovers? whats the craziest one youve ever written?

nah. AUs tho? heck yeah.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of!

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

not that i know of!

13. have you ever cowritten a fic before?

i started co-writing one with someone a while back, but then we both got busy and forgot about it whoops

i think it would be fun to co-write with someone tho, so uh. lmk <3

14. fave all time ship?

gotta be klaine <3 the brainrot is real <3

15. wip you want to finish but doubt you will?

sequel fic to Running in Circles, Coming up Tails

16. what are your writing strengths?

uhhh dialogue maybe? fluffy shit? idk, it's hard to name your own writing strengths

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

scene descriptions, smut, figuring out what happens in the middle part of multi-chapter fics, actually sticking with recurring underlying themes...

if i keep thinking about it, i'm gonna get real mean to myself so i'm gonna stop there

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

i don't usually do it because i only know english and like. half-spanish, but i like when people do it !!

19. first fandom you wrote for?

harry potter. i think i was somewhere between 10 and 13 years old. i used wattpad. i believe those fics no longer exist, or if they do, i sure as fuck haven't looked at them in years (and i think i deleted ye old wattpad account)

20. fave fic youve written?

hng most of them hold a special little place in my heart (or live rent free in my brain), but i think i gotta say New Adventures Summer Camp. i reread it every so often bc it makes me smile :) (for most of the fic at least)

[duckwithablog]

The lurker anon reappears! Thank you for answering my questions, and I’d love to hear the backstory of your macaque theme!

Also, I forgot to label myself. Silly me. Mmm 🤔… perhaps peach🍑 anon if it’s free? Because- unrelated to the cute and cheeky monkey man- I really, really love peaches!

YOO hello again!! And yeah, 🍑 anon is free!! I haven't tried eating peaches but they look so aesthetic,, the only peach flavored thing i tried was a peach drink and i ordered it PURELY bcs of LMK HHAHSHSAH

time for some blog lore..... THIS IS GONNA BE KINDA LONG AND RAMBLY SO BE WARNED-

Before this account was made, I actually had a different tumblr account for personal use (I never log into it anymore though lol) instead of writing. I was in the LMK fandom at the time, so I was reading x reader fics EVERYWHERE I could, from wattpad to tumblr to ao3.

And wouldn't you know it, when I was scrolling through the tags on tumblr I saw someone promoting their newly written fic they made on ao3!! I read it, loved the premise, and left a kudos and a comment (I think I left a comment? I'm not sure, I was a lurker as well when it came to reading HSDHSD).

Not too long after, I was scrolling through their blog and saw a post of them asking for any possible writing friends to interact. I thought 'hey!! i can write!!' and promptly sent them a dm. We chatted over our brainrot of the stinky monkeys and we grew to be pretty close writing buddies!! I even got to come up with a ship name for a pairing in the fic (the pairing was Macaque and Y/n, and Y/n in the fic was a baker, so I proposed the ship name 'Mooncake'. Still super proud of that ngl!! I'm pretty sure I made one for Wukong and Y/n too, but I forgot what it was </33 Mooncake was just so iconic to me).

We bounced off ideas from each other, and I sent them posts about Wukong (they were a Wukong Apologist and honestly, slay), and one of them actually managed to influence their characterization for him in a later chapter!! I was even writing my own LMK x reader fic at the time, and while I gave up on it after a while, they were the first person to ever read the first few paragraphs and gave me their thoughts.

Eventually, I had an urge to make a whole blog dedicated to x reader writings because I was inspired by them to make one, and when I told them they told me to go for it!!

Here's where the important bit comes in: This person's blog was themed around Sun Wukong. They're a Monkey King lover, they fucking love that stupid smelly monkey man!! So I told them "hey wouldnt it be funny if my blog was Macaque themed so we could match?" and they went "DUDE"

And boom!! That's the reason why my blog is Macaque themed!! I went through a LOT of custom tumblr themes (you know where you open someones blog and instead of being the regular tumblr blog layout its a totally new one that they customized themselves? Yeah that was me), meanwhile my friend just stuck to a simple 'Wukong pfp + header and orange background'. I think that matched our character themes really well HAHSAHSAH

Unfortunately, I'm sure that my friend is not working/active anymore. Their last post on tumblr was them apologizing for the lack of updates because of art school, and that was it. I don't know how long it's been since I checked up on the fic, but when I did, I found that their ao3 account was orphaned. So it's probably safe to assume that theyre not coming back to their tumblr acc either.

But still... I kept my Macaque theme. Even when my LMK interest started to fade and other media took over my brain, I refused to change it. Idk why, sentimentality I guess? It just felt wrong.

I have no idea where they are now, honestly. I just hope theyre doing okay. They were a super cool person, and I loved their fic and I loved talking to them and I loved being their friend!! Even if they probably wont see this post, I just want them to know how much of an impact they had on me. It was because of them I made this account, and got into writing requests and fics. And even if that didn't work out, they got me back to writing in general! They were an awesome person and they deserve everything good in life!!

Augugh this got sentimental... My bad!! Ngl, I've been secretly waiting for someone to ask me why my blog was Macaque themed, but the chance of that happening was really slim so I held the Blog Lore™ in. BUT NOW I CAN FINALLY SAY WHAT IVE BEEN HOLDING IN FOR YEARS RAHHH

Thanks for asking this, btw 🍑 anon!! Sorry if this was so rambly and long, my mind do be like that (incomprehensible to decipher sometimes). I'd love to see you pop in some more, if youd like!!

Oh!! And since ur a Wukong lover as well, you should read their fic!! It's unfinished, but I think you should give it a shot. The chapters are long, the writing style and interactions between characters are great, and the development and pining is well done!!

I realize that this sounds biased, but ermm..... IDC GO READ THEIR FIC!!! (/nf) Kudos and comment bcs they deserve it!! Even if they dont get to see it, I'd like to at least cheer them up on the off chance that they do.

Here's the fic!! And their tumblr acc too, because they make some pretty banging drawings for their writing!!

@butternut-zippersqaush

[batmanenthusist]

HIII My names Destry I'm 15 and use any pronouns

I'm new to writing especially on here this is actually my first post so sorry if the formatting is bad but I'm sure it will improve.

I will mostly be writing DC stuff, but if you have requests feel free to ask and I'll do my best to research and write an that franchise/character.

I probably won't write about real life people out of respect (ex: celebrity's, YouTubers, tiktokers ECT..) I also won't write for any batcest or ships with minors and adults, if I write about an underaged character they will be aged up

If I forget to add a TW or you feel their should be one PLZ let me know to add it.

My favorite character is Roy or any of the robins

I don't really know what else to put if you want to know anything else LMK

Also if you can't tell from this post I don't have the best grammar so it might be a lil hard to read.

[real-sun-wukong-fan01]

Hello again, I love that your stories are based on JTTW. You make very interesting passive-aggressive-depressive Wukong) But what about SWAP Time AU. Family, enemies, friends, teacher and student are mentioned. But does anyone have a romantic relationship? Nezha and Ao Bing? Or Shadowpeach? Even if it is a one-sided crush. What about Red Son and Mei? Did they date while Mei was alive?

Welllll ships aren't my type so i never really thought of it?

But! There are a few people who are indeed dating.

For example DBK and PIF are actually dating, boyfriend and girlfriend trying to kill that one kid so DBK can make red son proud.

Chang'e and the god of the mood are also in a relationship, or were.

chang'e is still really in love with the god and same feeling goes to the immortal, is that the god of the moon is waiting for the right age so he can start dating again his love. (He does it every time.)

I'm probably not gonna put any fan ship in this, but I'll do put some actual canon ones, (both in LMK and JTTW)

I imagine red son actually adopting DBK, as red son never had a wife to get a biological kid, but did that stopped him from loving his son? No.

about nezha? i don't see him dating? Now i don't know if he does date in JTTW, if he does I'll look more into it so i can make it canon in the swap AU like i did with chang'e!

Wukong is one of those characters who completely hate dating, he's not gonna have a partner anytime soon, his brothers aren't interested either but they are surely not disgusted by the existence of dating like wukong.

I am planning on making Ao lie have a crush, but that will be secret.

Simply because Ao lie probably did have a lover to continue his whole generation until it came to mei in the original, so why not put it in the swap AU too?

Mei probably adopted, i imagine her as a lesbian (fun fact! In canon LMK red son is genderfluid, he can be still with Mei if you headcanon her as lesbian.)

And just adopted a kid, either also a dragon or a demon that hooked up with a dragon.

until it came to Ao lie (sadly got left behind by his original parents) and got a crush on a certain someone I won't say the name of. (Because in the original we don't know who it is.)

But yeah!

[starsfic]

I'm not sure I can name an au for a fluff prompt, but what about dragonfruit shipping with Mei saving Red Son from a kidnapping.

LMK Season 3 spoilers...

Long Xiaojiao honestly had no idea what she was doing.

Right now, the goal was to meet up with the rest of the crew while Red Son taught her how to control the fire she somehow had.

The latter was actually the easier part. Once she had calmed down, Red Son had first taught her how to make it not hurt. And then they started working on the serious stuff.

It was the former that was difficult. It had been sheer luck, according to Red Son, that he had been able to find her, miles away from the crew had last been. Neither of them was sure what the crew was doing now. Were they off-course, looking for her? Had they moved on to the next city? Xiaojiao honestly hoped it was the latter. Even though it stung, she was the one to run out on Xiaotian and probably make his abandonment issues much worse.

...how would they react to seeing her?

Xiaojiao stared down at her drink as she wondered this. They had stopped for dinner in some fast food restaurant, some American chain, she didn't remember. All she had been really able to do was focus on her lessons and wonder if Xiaotian would banish her from the group as soon as he saw her face-

And why Red hadn't come back from the bathroom yet.

Xiaojiao looked up as soon as he realized this. Red had made a habit of not leaving her alone for longer than five minutes. It had been eight minutes since he had told her he was going to go use the bathroom.

She stood, knocking over her chair. Shit, how come she hadn't noticed!

It was more sheer panic than actual thought that made her sprint to the men's room. "Hey!" a worker yelled, but Xiaojiao was too busy yanking the door open.

And there, struggling in the grip of a much larger demon, was Red Son.

Xiaojiao had been well-educated in demon courtship alongside Xiaotian by Pigsy. Most demons reserved kidnapping for mortals and it was seen as very old-fashioned and rude unless the kidnapee had given their permission. Unfortunately, there were still sick bastards who would force it. This hadn't prepared her for seeing it in the flesh.

"-down, sweet prince-" The large demon paused as she stared. "Excuse me, couple in here-"

"Get. Your hands. Off of him."

Xiaojiao felt the flames roar up.

The next moment, Red Son was invading her vision. "-jiao!" he yelled. Now that she was slightly more aware, she could feel him shaking her. "Xiaojiao!" If she had been slightly more herself, she would've teased him for the use of her real name. Right now, she was a bit out of it.

"...what happened..."

Red Son leaned back with a chuckle. Now that he was far, she could see that they were in the truck. "Well, you certainly dealt with that idiot." He reached up to tap against his scar. "And the restaurant."

...the restaurant...

Realization struck.

Xiaojiao sat straight up, nearly hitting him right in the face. "Is everyone okay?!"

"Yes, don't worry!" Red Son pointed out the window. Xiaojiao followed his finger. The purple flames seemed to have died down to the regular orange somehow, and a large crowd of people was watching as fire trucks drove up. "You set off the fire alarm before it could reach anywhere."

A sigh of relief escaped her.

Good.

She didn't need to hurt anyone else.

Then a bag hit her side. Xiaojiao glanced down. It was a takeout bag, full of fries. "Thank you," Red Son grunted out before starting the truck.

Xiaojiao felt a smile form as she pulled out a fry.

[sparklingpax]

In Relativity

A/n:

-I could not, for the life of me, figure out a better title. You get that. Not even sure if that's what I mean and I'm so sorry. But I am also not taking suggestions

-being absolutely serious, a good 90% of this was written during my health class and/or lunch periods in which I wasn't hungry.

-i am so sorry for typos and grammar stuff I probably fucked up, please please try ignore it if you see it, I'll fix it eventually 😳

-this is so incredibly long, I'm realizing. It's like 30+ pages...sorry--

-a few specific details I'd like to point out:

no, this is not 110% accurate to Masterforce canon, tho I tried my darndest. Part of the reason is lack of clear answers about certain questions I have or limited access to sources that would help me figure out details of their pasts more accurately. The other reason is that I'm also actively choosing not to adhere to some details because I was ultimately writing for fun and experimenting with tone and how I perceive these characters so...do not lecture me about something I screwed up, I am literally just vibing ok

This is still set in Masterforce canon, however. This has nothing (I repeat, nothing) to do with any of the marvel stuff/American comic stuff that involved these characters. It's my understanding that the versions of these characters in Masterforce are their own separate entity to the comic stuff, I am trying to stick only to the anime and stuff connected to that. so....yea

It is my headcanon that I will absolutely keep that the Pretenders have in their files/any technical stuff their "full names" (e.g: "Cloudburst"), but refer to each other with their nicknames (going back to that example, "Phoenix"). It's like, they use both names whenever and don't mind either way. Hence......that.

I wanted to write something about Landmine, literally that was it. I guess overall I'd call it semi-Landmine-centric....Idk but I enjoyed it, he's a cool dude 👀

this is in fact, where i finally reveal myself as a person who also Lowkey ships Lander/Diver and also the idea that they have this...very complicated relationship with each other, which is why they've never really gotten together....I hc that they actually do finally get together at some point during the events of Masterforce (which I also, really want to write). Yes, this is very similar to them in my AU except it's not as complicated as the one in canon. If that makes sense 😳 Also, before you come for my head, it is a healthy relationship in the sense that there has never been any malice between them, and no instances of causing the other serious pain in any way. They like each other a lot, but both don't really know...how to go about it. Idk y'all but ykw I know what I mean. 

I tried so hard with terminology here but my dumb ass doesn't know anything about tech or aircrafts or whatever so...deal with it but don't point it out I'll evaporate--

Upon much consideration, I decided to end it somewhere like, before events of masterforce. I'd say a couple years maybe?? Like 15?? (So tha puts us at 2005, which as I'm writing this omg that's my birth year oop--) So just. assume stuff happened and...following will be the other canon stuff....i guess o//o

So...yea, that should be everything I wanted to mention!

Enjoy (? Or don't? ;w;)....I wrote this for fun & I kinda liked it I guess, so here I am sharing it...lmk what you think if you want, please keep it positive, I get so extremely nervous sharing my writing sdjdsjsdj 😳

...um...so...t-thanks 🥰

That’s what Landmine had been told the first day of Cybertronian Military Academy. 

///

Above all else, a good spark stands for justice, protects all life, and does what’s right. 

It was a phrase taught and repeated every day without fail, quickly memorized well before the end of first semester in that first year.

And when he’d entered Autobot ranks within mere weeks of his graduation amidst the start of the war, it was a phrase shouted to his unit by their commanding officer, only slightly altered this time. 

“Above all else, a good Autobot stands for justice, protects all life, and does what’s right.”

Yes, that was it. Just a slight change. 

But he always wondered if it meant to subconsciously induce very particular thoughts.

‘And if we Autobots do good, then the ones who aren’t us must be doing evil.’ 

To name a few of the supposed many, that was the Decepticons, the rogues, and the subspecies of the planet who didn’t feel inclined to participate in such a “selfish conflict,” as one commentator had put it during a newscast. They were the evil ones, preached the drill sergeants and captains.

The logical conclusion, as it could be surmised. No one said anything about moral. 

As for Landmine himself, he had no problem with “standing for justice,” however vague that was. Considering the lack of any attention, it seemed he was in line with that value, not standing out from the rest and all. 

The case was the same with “protecting all life.” After all, that was a clearer command, and obviously, the noble thing to do. Landmine liked his friends, nature, animals. Of course he’d stand to protect them. 

But for the last one, in the in-betweens to his drills and assignments, throughout all the years of his schooling and the time spent in the trenches of battles, he often wondered what it meant. To “do what’s right.” 

What was a…‘good Autobot’ anyway? 

He could recall the answers he’d received. 

“It means you follow orders,” one older bot spat, laughing. He had then put the ratty cigar back in his mouth and turned away. Clearly, the conversation was over. 

“A good Autobot?” Echoed a solemn youth, shining his shotgun. “Well its in the words you’ve just said! A good Autobot stands for justice, and they protect all–” 

…you get the idea.

“There are none,” was all a small-framed purple bot croaked, taking another sip from his oil can. He’d died on the field, screaming in agony, about one week later. 

And there were more answers, and Landmine still couldn’t figure out his own. But there were more pressing matters in his mind. Firstly, the matter of leaving this dull, doomed unit. 

See, he was a bot who enjoyed adventure, thought himself particularly good in battle. He was known for good one-liners, for his looks, and his sharp shots. This wasn’t the place for him. At the risk of being prideful and conceited, he often thought to himself, that this was no place for him to die. 

It was ugly, style-less, depressing, cold, damp…boring. 

For years, he hoped for more, and finally one day, he got it. 

“Hey!” 

…

“Oh yeah? Well you can take your attitude, and shove it up your tailpipe, Xy.” 

“‘Hey’ yourself, you're not part of this, so butt out you aft–” 

“Aft? Excuse me? I’ve a good mind to report you for that kind of slander and harassment!”

“What?! I didn’t slander you!! I'm not even harassing you, I just insulted you, but--but that's subjective, a-and I didn’t say –”

“Shut up, you two! There’s someone knocking.”

Landmine lifted his gaze from the book he was reading when he heard Klint shout for everyone to quiet down. 

As usual, it was another night in his section base–of the hot-head rookie Cinderflame being aggressive towards “two-word” Xy, and then somehow, getting into an argument with the self-important, self-declared “rulebook” of their subunit, Max. 

But the knocking at their door continued, louder this time. Cinderflame started to protest, and was quickly silenced a quick cuff to the back of his head by Max. 

Landmine closed his book very slowly and sat up in his bunk, watching as Klint quietly got up and headed to the door, activating his gun. Meanwhile, everyone else began to tense up, including Landmine. 

It wasn’t unheard of for mutinies to happen, for somebot to snap and go on a killing rampage, or for the enemy to have infiltrated and quietly taken command of a base. Any number of things could be behind the door, as it wasn’t normal to get a knock on the door at this hour of the night. 

But to their relief, the entity behind the door identified itself. 

“14-E, I order you–open up! Right now!”

Klint lowered his gun and sighed, more an annoyed sigh than a relieved one. They all knew who’s voice that was, and Landmine wanted–and was sure he had–no part in whatever was happening. 

‘Racker,’ mouthed Cinderflame in Xy’s direction, who rolled his optics and went back to organizing bullet shells. 

The other “rulebook” bot, except Racker was official, not self-declared. 

“I’ll mark you all for infractions!” He shouted in an attempt at an assertive tone, pounding unceasingly at the door. 

“I’ll mark you with my fist,” muttered Klint, trudging over. As he did so, Cinderflame snickered, then looked to Max, who was trying his best to keep a serious expression. Even he had no respect for the elected section head, but didn’t want to admit that. 

Well, I’m out, thought Landmine as he fell against his berth and opened his book again, hoping to get back to the story, detaching from the group.

He had no such luck, of course. 

The door opened at last with a high-pitched squeal of old metal, and the section head marched in, shouting for them to stand at attention. Below, Cinderflame gave the beginning of a groan, but it was cut short with the sound of someone elbowing him. 

 See, there was no such procedure in the rulebook, Landmine had discovered a while ago. But, there was also no point in raising that argument now. Begrudgingly, the group all followed the order and lined up at the door. 

Marching in stiffly, the grey-plated bot looked them up and down, a sharp look in his eyes. Then, he stated his business. 

Landmine was wanted in the unit Commander’s quarters.

For a moment, he considered it was some sort of elaborate prank, but that thought was quite fleeting. Jokes of that kind weren’t common around this sector, if at all. 

And if Racker was involved, well…

Doubt he knows what a joke is. 

“Well don’t stand there, move your metal hide!”

“Yes, sir!”

He felt side-eyed gazes of pity on him as he left the line. He felt them follow him as he walked out the door closely behind Racker, and into the barren, darkened clearing. But he was far more curious than worried. He could have easily run ahead to those quarters himself. 

Leaving Racker in the dust was quite easy, anyway. 

…

Racker, expression solemn and blank as ever, stopped at the white door and jerked his helm in the direction of the entrance, then folded his arms and turned forward, as if Landmine was no longer there. 

Go in. Alright. 

Landmine smirked to himself, then reached over and pushed the door open. 

Well. If I’m court-martialed or something, at least I’ll finally be put out of my misery. 

“Good evening, sir,” Landmine said, striding into the room. “You asked for me?” 

He’d never been in a commander’s quarters, and just taking one look at the state of it, he could infer why.

Something to do with the cleanliness of it, the quality of the tools in it…lower-ranking officers certainly had no place here, he could guess.

We belong in our cramped spaces, eating stale oil in our shared, low-rank misery. 

And finally, his optics had fallen on the commander himself, Swipecatch. 

Come to think of it, Landmine was sure he’d only seen the bot once. Or maybe he had a new paintjob? 

I’d like a new paintjob. 

He saluted and straightened his posture before the silver-blue-plated bot finally looked up from a manila-colored folder with messy scrawling and red stamps. It looked like it was important. 

It also looked like a processor-ache to decipher. 

“I did. You’re Landmine, right?” The commander spoke a medium tone, reaching for another paper on the side of the desk and picking up a slim, red pen.

“Yes, sir.”

“You’re a Pretender, are you not?”

"Alright," he murmured, beginning to write something, before glancing back up at the younger bot. “At ease,” he finally added, and Landmine was glad for it.

His gaze was immediately back on the paper as he started to write something into the blank lines. Some more silence followed, broken only by the sound of the pen against the paper, and Landmine watched as he swiftly filled out every blank space, signed his name, then looked back up again. 

“I am told I have such capabilities, sir.” 

“And have you been to training for it?”

“Only at a minimum level, as per my curriculum at the academy, sir.”

“Have you yet attained your third form?”

“I have not been provided any such opportunity up to this point, sir.” 

“Uh-huh…”

Swipecatch nodded, seeming to come to some kind of internal conclusion and writing something in the corner of the paper, before stamping the paper and folding it in half. Landmine began to wonder if he was being disciplined. 

“Soldier, you have been requested to join a special dispatch team made only of three other Pretenders like yourself.” 

Or…this. 

“Now, I can’t imagine you love this place enough to do this, but you do have the option to decline and remain at your post here, as it will be a very dangerous, long-term assignment, far from Cybertron and even this very sector.

“You four will only be provided one ship and instructions to report to us when asked, as we are not able to provide further resources. You will be sent into space to track Decepticon ships anywhere deemed fit to assign your team.”

He eyed Landmine up and down, who stood motionless, staring unwaveringly at his commander as he waited for him to continue. So he did.  

“Your...commander will be a recent academy graduate, Metalhawk. I am not at liberty to share anything more about him than this.” 

He shifted back in his chair, tapping his pen against the table.

“Since I take your…silence…to be an acceptance of this offer…” he said slowly, holding out the folded paper and letting Landmine take it. “I am giving you this now, so that you may board the next transport ship that comes in tomorrow, at first light.”

Landmine unfolded the paper a bit, catching sight of the orders written in fine print above the uneven writing of his commander. 

Previous commander, actually. 

“This is not a promotion, merely a new assignment that my higher-ups feel you are equipped for. There will also be a training period with your peers starting the moment you are all gathered at your launch site. Do you understand?”

“Fully, sir!”

“Alright, then. Dismissed.” 

“Thank you, sir.”

 He vaguely wondered if the sound the commander made after that was a laugh or a scoff. 

 Landmine saluted again, and left the room, clutching the paper in his digits, which had begun to vibrate with excitement. 

Suddenly, all the years of stale oil and bleak death around him, putting up with various groupings that never seemed to work out–with this doomed unit–seemed worth it. They’d been part of some plan, something Landmine had to go through for a while before this, before…

 Destiny. It has finally called my name. 

…

“Mighty lucky, aren’t you?” Klint remarked, leaning against the wall and watching Landmine stacking a couple books. 

Landmine simply looked up and grinned.

 “Stay alive,” Xy mumbled from his bunk, not even shifting position to look at the team as they gathered in the center of the space. 

 His inspirational capacities truly sway the spark. 

“Thank you, Xy. I’ll do my best.”

The mech raised a thumbs-up, making no further comment. 

“This is favoritism!”

“It is not. It’s the will of our higher command.”

“Well, don’t you think it’s unfair?”

“Shut your trap!” Max made a fist and took a step towards Cinderflame. “Questioning high command could be treason!”

“Oh shove off, you annoying glitch.”

"I beg your pardon?!"

"Yeah, I said it!" 

Klint groaned, facepalming slowly. Xy, in his bunk, put on some headphones and inched closer to the wall.

As usual, not even an hour after wakeup calls, and the two were at it again. But while Landmine conceded he wouldn't miss the unwarranted noise, he knew he would miss being able to laugh internally at their stupidity. 

Cinderflame kicked at the ground and glared at Landmine, who was closing his bag and picking it up. 

“We have to stay in the scrap," he muttered, "but he gets to be special! He gets to–”  

Knocking at the door quieted the room. 

In the brief silence, Landmine wondered how pompous he'd sound telling Cinderflame that he was, in fact, a special bot. 

He decided it wasn't worth the breath.

"It's time to go!" Came the voice from behind the steel.

Landmine stood tall, strapping the bag to his back and heading outside, without a second look to his scrappy unit, who no doubt would forget his existence quite soon. 

“Landmine?” The gruff, unfamiliar mech asked, looking at the Pretender. 

“That’s me.” Landmine then noticed the markings on the sides of his Autobot insignia, certifying him as a higher-ranking officer. “That’s me, sir,” he revised evenly.  

The officer narrowed his yellow-green optics, almost skeptically. Then he spoke again. “We’re driving a while, two hours at longest. You fueled yet?”

Landmine nodded, feeling his excitement start to build. 

Naturally, the place where any transports or supply ships landed would be miles and miles from any camp, for security reasons. Only superior officers would know supply drop-off locations. One could imagine such things were carefully coordinated long before a ship's arrival.

It was then that Landmine recalled he’d never once been on a supply run.

And, he guessed, he'd never find out what it was like. But he was cool with that.

“Right. Let’s move out, then. And stay close to me.”

That won’t be a problem, sir, Landmine thought, excited for the opportunity to spin his wheels. 

He also thought himself quite proficient in the art of speeding in style.

They both transformed, then sped to the entrance of the barracks. The drive took about an hour, quickly clearing miles of dry, uneven land, until at last, coming upon a ridge, the tip of a large, grey mass could be seen.

He could feel the vibrations of anticipation–of excitement!–growing as the mass became more and more like the shape of a transport ship–his ticket out of this forsaken place. 

Briefly, he began to wonder what the new team was like, what the ship and its resources provided would be, where they'd be assigned first…

Will I see my new commander’s face more than once or twice, whoever it is? 

And at last, they rolled down the sandy-brown rocks and onto the clearing, below the massive overhang of the ship. Landmine could hardly contain himself, and transformed as soon as his wheels came to a smooth halt. 

His superior officer also transformed, drawing up next to him, folding his arms again.

"Well. Off you go." 

He offered a brisk pat on the shoulder pad before trudging off to the left and calling out to one of the smaller mechs in the distance. Landmine reached into the bag strapped to him and fished out the paper before marching up the boarding plate. 

Landmine made it through the security check easily, papers identified, baggage approved, and he found the area in the cargo hold where he was to remain for the duration of the ride. 

“You will not leave this area until we have reached the designated location. We will use force if you cause any trouble. Is that understood?” 

“Yes, sir.”

A cargo hold… 

Well…it was a free ship ride during a war.

Landmine waited for the guard to leave, then walked over and sat down against the wall, well within the space he’d been told to occupy. He held his bag close to his chestplates, wondered if a full power-off would be a good idea, or if the ride would be too short for that. 

It seemed they weren’t going to allow him that information, either. 

 Ah, well, they’ll just have to wake me, then. Who knows if I’ll get a moment’s rest where we’re going anyway? 

 And with a quiet whirring, his systems slowed and he leaned his helm against the wall, slipping into a peaceful powerdown. 

…

It seemed the guard wouldn’t have to come and wake Landmine after all, as the ship came to a halt at its destination with a large thump that shook the ship down to the nails in the wallplates. 

Landmine was instantly ripped from his powerdown, jolted awake as he was thrown forward and then smacked back against the wall again when the vehicle finally halted. Rubbing his helm rather drowsily, he gave a small pout. 

Whoever’s driving should have their piloting license revoked. 

But he immediately recalled where he was and what he was doing, and the excitement returned, grasping his entire body in its hold. Quickly, he grabbed his bag and scrambled to his feet, waiting for someone to come and let him out. 

Be cool, be calm, you’re acting like a giddy sparkling. 

 Right. Steady motions, smooth words. Just as usual. 

And finally, someone did come. Actually, Landmine realized upon listening closer, there were…two sets of footfalls. He wondered if they were maintenance bots, or maybe a pair of workers come to unload the cargo hold, not permit Landmine to leave yet. 

But he remained still, listening to the footsteps, coming closer and closer until–

“He’s in here. You’re…assuming responsibility before he reaches the camp, sir?” 

It was the same guard from before. But then, the other bot with him spoke. 

 “Of course. You know higher-ups don’t give information about assignments, leading to accidents and the like.”

Odd. Was it one of his new teammates? 

He must be higher-ranking than me to have that guard call him “sir.” Or maybe I’m being moved up a few–no, wait. Swipecatch said this isn’t a promotion. But then, why–

Suddenly, the door opened with a weighty hissing noise, and the yellow light from the halls fell upon Landmine, who’d been getting used to the blue shadows of this cargo area. He immediately turned and saluted, watching as the guard walked in first, looked around, then stepped aside. 

In walked a yellow-plated bot, who took one look around, then put a servo on the shoulder pad of the guard. 

“You can go if you like. I gather you’ve more important things to get to, and I know the way off the ship.”

With a small smile and a salute, the guard turned and headed out the door. 

Landmine watched, somewhat amused, as the yellow mech leaned his head out the doorway, calling a thanks to the guard before turning back to Landmine with an awkward kind of smile. 

He actually thanked that guard. How interesting. 

Landmine returned the smile, a little more confidently. 

“Right. Um,” the bot took a deep breath and walked up to Landmine, offering his servo for a handshake. 

“My name is Metalhawk. I will be your new commander. Your other teammates are already aboard the ship.”

 Optics flitting from the outstretched servo to the earnest, blue optics staring back at him, Landmine was beginning to realize something. 

“I understand any previous commanders you’ve served under might have made a point on formalities, but I’m more interested in forming a good team than being addressed as ‘sir’ and the like. So, if you don’t mind, I hope we’ll get to know one another better with time.”

And that realization, was that this had been the right decision indeed, accepting this mission.

To be fair, anything would have been better than staying to fight in the scrapheap of a place he’d previously been.

With that…team of characters to live or die beside.

But Metalhawk seemed to be normal, perhaps even kind.

Plus, if his intuition wasn’t off, most captains, generals, and commanders were on the older side, but this bot…

He must be good to be a commander this young. 

Landmine took his servo and shook it firmly. 

“Glad to be serving with you, Hawk. I’m Landmine.” 

 At the nickname, Metalhawk gave a little grin, seeming to like it. 

 “Alright then, follow me.”

With a friendly chuckle, he headed for the door and immediately started to describe the other two bots Landmine was soon to meet. As they headed down the halls and out of the ship, he quickly learned that an he'd be in the company of two fliers–including his commander–and one sea-faring bot.

An interesting and even balance of alt-modes.

 “...and this is our ship.”

They stopped, and Landmine found himself before a huge mass of shining, silver and white metal. The daylight bounced off it gorgeously, edging the ship in glittery light. The green-blue windows looked as jewels, without a weathering mark or scratch in sight. 

The softer-toned blue highlights on the side plating of the vessel led his eye to the elegantly-painted Autobot symbol on the front hood. 

They might have been given the one ship only, but by Primus, was it a beauty.

Perhaps those old generals weren't all so selfish. 

It could have been some old prison ship with extra canons strapped to it, after all. 

This guy's lucky to be commander and score a ship like this. Something tells me Swipecatch wouldn't know what this is like, and he's been in the game longer.

He almost chuckled aloud before remembering where he was. 

A platform began to lower from the ship’s underside, which hung a little higher than their helms. Standing on it was a familiar face, and Landmine couldn’t help but perk up and exclaim–

“Diver!” 

“Lander!!” 

He felt a warmth surge through him. At last, he was seeing a familiar face again.

Someone he'd really thought, he'd never see again.

“‘Lander’?” Metalhawk echoed, taking a step up to the platform. 

The machinery gave a smooth whirring noise and the platform began to rise off the ground and back into the ship. Landmine could only laugh, letting Waverider answer for him. 

“We were arguing once,” the dark-plated mech said, leaning closer to Landmine. He spoke as if telling a weighty secret. “So I started calling him ‘Lander,’ like for his land-based vehicle mode. He retaliated, calling me ‘Diver.’”

“Because you have a water-based alt.”

“Exactly!”

“‘Diver’ is infinitely more creative, you have to give me that,” Landmine cut in.

“But ‘Lander’ is more direct!” Waverider protested. 

“It’s the most obvious kind of name!”

The three of them shared a laugh. 

That was most of the story, anyway. 

As the three headed down the dimly-lit hallway, Waverider kept talking. He started to tell their commander about their shared academy days, about the classes they took, the things they trained for. 

After a point, he couldn’t quite hear what the mech was talking about, as his mind began to wander.

Landmine recalled in flashes of memory, the moments he'd left out of the story...the days following that ‘argument,’ when they’d made up, and both their ‘insult names’ became somewhat like…pet names.

Calling in the hallways, covertly shifting places during inspections or exercises to stand with one another, sneaking into each other’s dorms, speaking in hushed tones as heat rushed through their systems, as if finally realizing all these feelings which had been for so long already there…

His spark skipped a beat as he gazed at the back of Waverider’s helm.

You never apologized for the way you left.

He tried to push those thoughts away. This wasn’t the time to stir that up. 

But it never matters what the mind wants, the heart will always have its way. Guilt, too. Such a persistent thing, guilt–bent on collection of time spent contemplating the past. 

Sharp like a knife, hidden in shadows of daily happenings, its steely glint appearing every now and then, its blade cutting deep into a wound time has slowly tried to mend. 

Tried to mend. 

But I tried…

Landmine began to wonder again about the truest meaning of “do what’s right” was. If it meant for the other bot or for oneself. If being a “good autobot” carried over into matters of the mind and spark, hidden from the public eye, intimate and…

This is not the time. 

Right. Not the time. 

Rounding the bend, Landmine was surprised to find how quickly they’d made their way to the command center. Considering the direction they’d been going, he guessed it was somewhere near the center of the ship.

Landmine watched as Metalhawk stepped in front of Waverider and reached out to a smooth, blue panel next to the door. 

“In addition to the defaults being set up–which I need to fix–I’m the only one scanned for access right now,” Hawk said with a little smile. The door hissed and started to open. “But by tonight you’ll be scanned to the system as well.”

“And the door will open in seconds, not hours!” 

“Yes, Waverider, it will,” Hawk said, rolling his optics.

Landmine watched as the door finally slid to the side, revealing a polished room with pristine, white floors and walls. Along the sides were blocks of machinery he could only guess was what higher-ups meant when they referred to something as ‘state-of-the-art.’

Except this stuff is state-of-the-art. 

The front of the room had grooves that shaped a large window, wrapping around about half the side walls. Landmine guessed they were retractable for direct visibility during flight. 

We don’t even need the windows open to fly the ship. Magnificent. 

“During your pre-mission training together, you’ll be introduced on a basic level to all the machinery aboard this ship, and I will designate you to certain roles when the need arises.”

Everything sparkled in its modern, symmetrical beauty. It was all new, untouched, and would ideally provide the team with advantages in conflicts to come. At least, far greater than the shabby resources given to camps like the one from which Landmine had just departed. 

Far less could die…

“Yo!” 

Three helms turned as a red-plated mech rose from behind one of the monitor stations near the back of the room. He clapped his servos together to dust them off and stepped out from the station, waving. 

“That was quick,” Metalhawk commented, looking the walls up and down. It was hard to tell what was manually modified and what had been unchanged, but Landmine decided it was best to simply trust that all the devices in the room would preform well when they were needed.

“Well...this is Cloudburst,” he said, gesturing at the mech. 

Cloudburst gave a big grin. 

“He’s just fixed our door problem, and most of the settings on the ship’s machinery,” the commander continued, looking somewhat pleased. 

"He did!!" Waverider called from the open door. He'd immediately run back to test it out.

A mechanic of sorts, Landmine surmised.

And, after a few minutes of talking passed, he found his hypothesis correct. 

Cloudburst had gone to university for a bit, before the war, but it was cut short. He was lucky enough to be selected for a special team of machinery developers, but then, unfortunate to have been placed in a camp that was quickly overpowered by Decepticon forces.

“And I made my escape before my section was done in,” he said. “In the days following, I made my way to…”

As he was talking, Waverider leaned over to Landmine. 

“Phoenix,” he whispered behind a servo.  

Immediately, he caught on, smirking. 

“Flier?” 

He watched with some satisfaction through his peripheral as Waverider nodded. 

“Well, I guess it isn’t that exciting, but…that’s about it from me!” Cloudburst finished with a huff and another smile. “So what about you?” 

Landmine felt put on the spot for a moment, then he shrugged. 

“It’s not much compared to your novel of a tale,” he remarked. The others gave a chuckle. He looked to Metalhawk. 

“But first…any chance we have drinks aboard?”

…

Landmine was incredibly amused to discover the lack of tolerance to high-grade his commander had. 

Of course, he’d never been drinking with a commander before, but he’d expected himself to get drunk first. 

Or…am I drunk, too? 

Truth be told, he was feeling a bit sleepy…and warm. 

Music played faintly from a speaker near the ceiling. Some song from a couple centuries back, the tune registering itself in subconscious memory. He knew the tune, but didn’t know the song. 

As it was, with many things. 

Yawning, Landmine tilted his helm, which was resting in the palm of his hand, and looked to his holopad. It was laid at the edge of the table, screen open with a striking, blue light.  

The sudden blue glow against the dim, pinkish lighting of the room hurt his optics a bit, so he looked away again. 

 Drunk or sober, I think I’m gonna fall over. 

 “Commander?” He gently poked the yellow mech. Metalhawk had his head down at the flat, white tabletop. 

Landmine guessed he was asleep. He took another sip of his drink, then put it down, giggling. 

Perhaps this’ll rouse him…

 “Hawk! Report status, soldier!” He deepened his voice to resemble the barking of a drill sergeant, tapping the yellow-plated mech as he spoke. 

Metalhawk gave a short jolt. 

“Whaz’t?” He slurred, raising his helm sharply, looking around a bit. He seemed to realize Landmine was talking to him and turned his gaze to him, squinting. 

“Hawk, I was wondering–”

“Comman’er here,” he murmured suddenly, yet still quietly, cutting Landmine off. He gave what looked like the very definition of an ‘improper salute’ as he spoke. 

“Yes, soldier?” He deepened his voice again, smirking. Hawk seemed partially unaware it was Landmine speaking to him, as if he was only half-awake.

“I report…I’m reporting for…my absence reports…I’ll go to class t’morrow, sir!!” 

Oh jeez. He’s so out of it– 

Landmine tightened his jaw, trying not to burst into laughter.

He promptly failed after a couple seconds more, but Metalhawk didn’t seem to really notice. And of course, this just made it funnier.

He watched as Metalhawk shook his head, looking rather drowsily at the empty cup sitting in front of him, then back at Landmine. Was he aware enough to want another drink? 

Perhaps he’d suddenly have some of that energy from a couple hours ago if he had that other drink.

The image of his Commander stumbling around and laughing in a mildly uncharacteristic manner returned to his thoughts. Landmine waited in anticipation as Hawk continued to stare at the cup. 

But then, he gave a long exhale and put his head back down, mumbling something else. 

 Landmine concluded with a small chuckle to himself that, Hawk was probably down for the night–for good this time. 

 “We come bearing–”

“Shush! He’ll know we’re here!!”

“He already does, you nut–” 

 He looked to the door as made a hissing noise and opened to reveal Cloudburst and Waverider, having a mild argument. 

 “Oh, you’re back,” He said, raising his glass with a small grin. Waverider set the crate down. “I definitely didn’t hear you coming down the hall.” 

He watched Waverider snap around and issue a light whack to Cloudburst. It was likely in place of a triumphant ‘I told you so.’  

This time, Landmine didn’t let himself laugh out loud. He did allow a quiet chuckle. 

Cloudburst walked over and grabbed a bottle, popping it open and taking a drink.

“You and the boss’re still around, I see!” 

Landmine nodded, moving to take another sip, but he found his cup empty. 

“I’d stay, but I’m so drunk right now, I can’t stand up straight,” he said, taking another swig. Landmine nodded again, reaching over and sliding a bottle of his own out of its slot. 

“Oh you’re drunk,” Waverider agreed shoving him playfully. 

And so are you, Landmine thought. So am I, probably. 

Pouring the bottle’s contents into his cup, he found his gaze fixating on the liquid as it sparkled mid-air. He liked the small sound it made as it refilled the cup. 

He did not wish to heed how many drinks he’d already had, or was giving himself. 

 “Well then, begone with you,” Waverider said. With a smirk, he suddenly reached over and swiped the open bottle from Cloudburst and took a sip. The mech didn’t seem to mind, just watching him with an amused grin.

“See you, Phoenix,” Landmine said, taking his eyes off his glass for a moment. He set his now-half-empty bottle next to Metalhawk’s sleeping figure. 

That was definitely too many drinks, considering the size of his cup.

  “I’ll be here for a while, I think.”

 Cloudburst nodded acknowledgement and made what Landmine classified as: an improper salute: exhibit B. 

“Then–until the morning shines!” He said, almost a little too loudly. “Cloudburst, signing off my duty–I mean–for my duty! I will bring you–”

“Shut up, you lugnut!” Waverider shoved him out of the room, laughing so hard he lost his footing a bit. The two toppled over, landing outside of the room. 

Landmine just watched, sipping at his cup. The door hissed shut on the sight of the two drunken mechs trying to unentangle themselves and stand up again, amidst their giddy, tipsy laughter. 

“Until the morning shines,” he echoed to himself absentmindedly, shifting his cup from side to side. 

The bubbly feeling he’d been harboring the whole evening was, inevitably and suddenly, starting to fade.

There was something starting to well up inside. Something another couple glasses wouldn’t fix, even though he had as much left in the bottle he’d just taken. 

Something rather cold and dark. 

To think I was among the dying in some forsaken frontlines camp. Now, here I am, drunk, with drunken fools. Look at me, one of them. 

He wasn’t feeling so warm anymore. 

Excitement awaits, or is it crueler death? 

Another sip, and he felt a twinge of unease. Or was it nausea? His fuel tanks remained in slight discomfort, but not enough that he’d be inclined to obey its silent will. 

So, he tilted his helm upwards to finish off the glass. Now he was ready to go.

Landmine rose unsteadily, swaying a bit, gripped the tableside. He felt his fuel tanks lurch with the movement, and took a second to breathe slowly.

He glanced at Hawk, still sleeping in his spot. He wondered when Waverider had planned to come back in, looking to the door. But everything had gone quiet. 

Probably went back to his quarters with Phoenix. 

Ah, well. It was about time he stopped drinking for the night, anyway. With a huff, he hauled himself upright and started towards the door. 

Don’t know where mine is…

He figured he’d just go back to the command center. Perhaps no one would mind if he passed out there. 

…

Three weeks later, the team was almost through with their pre-mission training requirements, with only days to go before they were certified to move out. 

It hadn’t been easy, but Landmine found himself feeling more confident in the mission to come, and in his Pretender abilities, which had until this point, meant next to nothing to him. 

 It was funny to think how the higher-ups had tried to convince every bot that their only purpose was a soldier, who should hold their gun and shoot–the only exception being if they were elite by caste or class, or simply higher-ranked. 

Day after day of military academy–especially after the war really got started–Landmine knew he was no elite. He was trained in how to use his gun, how to survive without proper resources for periods of time, to be a strategist–with the all the smarts a bot might need but would forget when a blade shoved itself against their throat. 

Yet still, only twice had he ever been spoken to about being a Pretender. About fighting as a Pretender and not as simply another Autobot soldier.

Perhaps it was trivial in the bigger picture–after all, dead is dead. 

 4-edge, 3-edge, length sticks, no not those…

Landmine’s optics flicked to the different boxes lined up in the shelf. Some of them had labels, some of those labels had faded to white. 

He’d gone to fetch some repair supplies for Cloudburst. And as usual, the silence invited the chatter of his own thoughts. 

How many were there like himself, with unacknowledged potential–who would likely die in battle, the intricate stories of their lives forced shut in an anticlimactic conclusion. No adventure, no life lived before their time? 

And how odd, he remarked internally, to still have the fortunate and the unfortunate, in the midst of a war–one being fought namely for the end of the class divide in Cybertronian society. 

Will we accomplish anything when we end this, other than the destruction of cities and lives? Be it violent tyranny and oppression, or the will of corrupt and almighty governmental bodies–who below them would come away with anything other than what has always been? 

Head down, staring at the contents of the open box, Landmine felt a familiar ache, a sinking feeling of dread and despair. 

Our lives lie in the hands of others. If we like it or not, if we wage a war for it or not. How fair is that? 

“Lander! Where are you, buddy? We’re doing another simulation soon, but Hawk wants us in the main hall first!” 

Waverider. 

He looked up, staring at the wall outside the open door. He felt guilty as silence followed, likely for his own lack of response. But he couldn’t say anything back right now. He gripped the box more tightly and started down the hall. 

Memories began to awaken. Things he wanted to remember that made his chest hurt, reminding him why he also…didn’t want to remember. 

I'm just as bad a spark, aren't I?

He wondered…how fair it was to break someone’s heart, and then, act like nothing had happened at all. 

…

On the day for liftoff–when training was complete and all certifications to move out had been met–Landmine found himself exiting powerdown before daylight had emerged in the sky. He was not a late-riser by any means, but not usually quite so early either. 

He stared at the faint rays of daylight, reaching through his window and lighting the edge of his room walls.

He thought about the vacuum of space ahead. Something like a smile played at the corners of his mouth. 

I’ll remember this for a while, won’t I? 

The mech paced his room a couple times, rolling his shoulder joints and stretching a little. He'd found many benefits to morning exercises.

Optics ticking to an empty glass bottle lying near the window, his mind drifted back to the evening before. 

To the impromptu speech Metalhawk had made last night over some drinks in the bar room. 

The dimly-lit room carried a quiet murmuring, a laugh here and there. Landmine had come a bit late, taking his seat while Waverider waved a hello and handed him a glass. Cloudburst was, of course, talking. 

After a little while, Landmine glanced over the table and saw that Metalhawk had a distant sort of smile on his faceplate. 

He ran a finger against his rounded glass, gently. Then, as if deciding something, he flicked the edge softly. 

The soft cling caught the attention of their group, quieting them. And, without moving his optics from the sight of the rippling liquid in his cup, he’d begun to speak. 

“As we prepare to liftoff tomorrow, I wanted to…say a few things.” 

He looked now, to each one of them. 

“I…cannot guarantee we will make it back to Cybertron, that we will always have what we need, or that we will…survive this. I don’t know if we’ll succeed or fail in our mission, end up as prisoners of war on some Decepticon ship or not, or die as just a handful more nameless, faceless faction of the Autobot army. But, there is one thing of which, I do ask you to be certain.” 

He smiled a smile that no longer seemed distant, but very much real. Present. 

A look shimmered in his optics that Landmine knew well, yet not of his own experience. 

It was a look that belonged only to those who had somehow, not been tainted at their very core–who had somehow learned to love all things as they were, and to always love. 

Someone, he mused the thought, who had perhaps, not yet learned to hate from the pits of his being. Or maybe…

Made a choice, he'd thought.

“I am your commander in name only. More importantly, however, know I am your teammate, and I will not abandon you at any cost. Our destinies are uncertain–I only hope for many good centuries together. Not as mere soldiers of the Autobot faction, but instead as warriors of Cybertron, and of justice. Though imperfect as all beings are, we have, and always will have, a duty to protect life, and to strive to do good. And that mission, above all others, I do believe we can accomplish.”

Landmine gave a shout of approval and raised his glass high in the air. Nodding, the others raised theirs. They gazed back at Metalhawk, who gave a small chuckle, then raised his own glass. 

“For peace!” He offered the toast. Clinking of glass and overlapping shouts followed.

“For Cybertron!!”

“Let’s get ‘em!!”

“YEAA!!!”

Landmine blinked again, realizing he’d begun to stare at that bottle a little too long. 

The memory left him in the silence of his room in the early hours of day. 

Today’s the day. 

He slipped his new blaster to its holster and cast one more look at his room, then headed down to the main room to start course-planning, as a favor for the others on the ship, of course. 

…

Many years had passed since the Pretenders’ liftoff. Missions had been carried out, ships tracked and ambushed, prisoners transported to warships that arrived quickly after battles. The three weeks of training hadn’t done much to show them what they’d learn firsthand on every mission. 

Many hours were spent behind piles of mission reports and other writeups for record-keeping. No one had been seriously wounded up till this point, just some scratches here and there. 

When it was time to close in on their target, there’d be tense silence in the command room, darkened save for the computer display of what lay outside their ship’s windows. It was the unspoken group decision that pursuing targets would mean windows were closed, for maximum stealth effect in addition to the cloaking technology their ship possessed.

The panel walls were littered with an array of maps and charts (digital or tacked on rather hastily) that either had to do with their ship or the one the team was chasing. All optics and servos were locked to their task, relaying commands and requests between stations, ready for almost anything. 

 And at present, that was kind of the team’s situation…with one slight change. 

 “Phoenix, give me the numbers on our bottom left central thruster. Will it hold?”

 Having tracked their target to a very distant quadrant, the computer didn’t have much information about the area or its conditions. 

 “Ah…we’re at 42% power and dropping. The damage report indicates the shielding was torn off and it’s leaking fuel. The secondary power source cables are damaged as well, so once all the power’s gone, that’s it.” 

“Are the damage control systems online?”

“Negative. We have to go manual,” He pulled up the video feed of their rear camera to show the damage. “We are traveling at full speed in space, so manual repairs are not doable–”

“–without the cost of a life, alright. And if we continue pursuit as we are?” 

“Without repair? The…system says about 20 minutes until it starts sucking power from the other ones, and then we’ll enter float stage, pre-free-fall.”

 So…they were trapped. 

Landmine watched as he ducked his head, dealing a restrained punch to the wall next to him before returning to his command station and furiously typing away at the controls. He cast his eyes back to his own task, repeating to himself that he must stay focused.

“I’m going to try to reroute the power from the damaged thruster to the functional ones and shut off its power. We need to land now, or we’ll be forced to land,” he said quickly, not looking up. 

The tremor in his voice was audible, ambiguously a tone of either urgency or fear. 

 Landmine looked up from his station, where he had been managing their travel course since no one was piloting manually. 

 “Should I analyze the properties of our current sector and any stable landforms?” He offered, already pulling up another screen. 

“Yes, make sure–”

 Suddenly, the vessel jolted downwards and shook with such force that everyone was knocked to their feet. A blaring alarm sounded as the ship shook again, an automated voice announcing in smooth Cybertronian that their back two thrusters were out of power. 

The lights shut off for a second, while the ship swayed unevenly before a loud whirring started up and it moved back up again. 

When it returned to a somewhat stable position, the lights remained flickering, and everyone remained gripping their stations tightly so as to not fall over. 

 Metalhawk straightened and immediately dashed to the front of the ship, smacking a panel on the front computer and grabbing the steering wheel. As he twisted it, he turned back around for a moment. 

 “Lander–something within the current firing range of this ship–we need a landing place now!!”

“We’re abandoning target pursuit?” 

 He felt a small spark of hope as Metalhawk, gave a silent nod in response. He had the feeling most other commanders would have sacrificed themselves and their ship, preaching the nobility of dying for this cause without abandoning the mission.

 “With any luck, one of our last stray shots hit their ship too–which was already on its last leg from the looks of it,” Waverider piped up. “So they won’t be too far ahead, I’ll bet.” 

 “Okay, then,” Landmine switched off his station’s input to the course control and focused his efforts on scanning the nearby planets. “I’ll get something.” 

The ship was vibrating now, but not with its usual even-toned hum. 

It was the kind of uneven vibrating a machine made before it finally gave out and powered down for good.

Meanwhile, all the planets in their current sector weren’t looking too appealing. 

Not many with life or long-term livable conditions…Hm…

“Balance function is starting to–”

As if on cue, the ship began to tilt downwards again, the metallic whirring noise growing louder and louder. A small explosion could be heard before the lights shut off for good and the alarm system abruptly stopped. Everyone was tossed violently to the ground. 

The automated voice struggled to tell the room–

“We lost the third one!!” Cloudburst called over the halting monotone speech from the ship’s speakers. He shook his head picked himself off the ground, then rushed for the door. 

“I’ll shut off the power transfer so it doesn’t fry the rest of the ship and us in it!” The door hissed open and he disappeared down the hall. 

 Then, the sound of…something blowing out, sounded in the room. 

“Oh, sweet fraggin–” Waverider muttered the beginnings of a swear before whipping his gaze to the side to watch as the left half of the ship went completely dark, the computer panels clearly destroyed past functioning point. 

He slammed his station with a balled first. 

“We’re blind on the left side!”

Metalhawk made a noise of frustration and worry, just barely audible above the roaring engine as it struggled to stay active. He was grappling with the somewhat functional manual steering system, trying to keep the ship at a steady angle. 

 “Can we open the–ngh!!” 

He was cut off as the ship as the ship lost control again, throwing him off the wheel and slamming him against the wall and then the floor. As he stumbled to his feet and back to the steering wheel, he gasped as he saw the other side of the ship’s display panels begin to flicker ominously. 

Landmine swallowed, doing his best to quickly surf through all the information presented. 

“We’re almost out of power–we can’t deactivate the panels!”

It was now or never, they needed a place to–

'Sol System Entry 7625 - Life: detected.’ 

Landmine blinked twice at the screen in front of him. He scrolled back to the planet that had read the one positive result among the sea of negative ones. 

It that…?

With a quick tap, the image of a blue orb with wispy, white clouds tracing its edge, floating gently in its place, appeared on his display screen. His optics flicked to the planetary report, intrigued to find that this place had even been previously logged into Autobot travel records. 

‘Atmospheric makeup: Non-toxic. Resource profile: Varied, Non-toxic. Cycle End Date: Undetected. Motion Cycle: Rotation.’ 

He checking one last thing, anticipation building–

Landing conditions: Optimal; follow procedure 41F-52.’

That was it.

“We need to prepare the ship to enter foreign atmosphere!!”

Waverider and Metalhawk snapped their gazes in his direction.

“Yes, I found us a landing spot, you can thank me later. The profiles of the surrounding planets are virtually uninhabitable–this is our only option right now!” 

Waverider exchanged looks with their commander, who gave him a sharp nod. Then, he ran over to Landmine’s screen. After a moment, he chuckled a little. 

When he turned to look at Landmine, a smile had cracked onto his face through the solemn, controlled panic that had been previously. The soft, turquoise light from the only control panels still working in the room bounced off the curves of his face, shimmering off his blue visor. 

 And even though there was such a high chance they’d die in the next few minutes, Landmine found himself frozen, simply staring back.

 No. We can’t die today. There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you. 

“Hey! Um, a little help here–did we find something?!”

Landmine let out a little laugh and slid back into his seat as Waverider seemed to snap back to seriousness and leaned over to speak for him.

“Hawk, it also checks out as habitable to carbon-based life forms!” He called, gripping the his station as the ship jerked to the side again. “We’ll be fine as long as we land safely!” 

Just then, Cloudburst came rushing into the room. 

“The core engine isn’t looking good, guys! We need to get the ship out of full thrust mode or we’ll overheat, and our power sources will mix and explode!!” 

Oh. Wonderful. 

So, the options had been expanded beyond: 1.) drifting aimlessly, trapped inside a non-functioning ship until energon-depletion or some other cause killed them, or 2.) losing power completely and burning up upon entry to the nearest atmosphere.

Now, they had a third option: sitting and waiting for their ship to simply overheat and explode. 

The reddish mech ran up next to Metalhawk and started pushing buttons on the control panel. 

“Someone needs to prepare the stasis pods and program them to ejection mode, I’ll set an altitude point!” 

“Got it!” Waverider called, jumping up and sprinting out of the room. Landmine started inputting the coordinates of destination to the navigation system–one of the only undamaged things thus far–and deprogramming the space travel controls. 

A couple minutes of silence passed before he flashed a thumb-up in the air.

“We’re ready for atmospheric entry in approximately 40 seconds and counting!” 

“Brace for a drop, everyone!” Metalhawk shouted, planting his feet and gripping the wheel with all the force he could give. 

“Stasis pods are ready to go!” Waverider reentered the room, sliding back into his station.

“Engines to 15%!”

“Roger!”

“Everyone get down!!”

There was a loud noise from the engine, then an abrupt silence as it cut down to about 15% power, and then the ship dipped so far downwards that Landmine felt himself grimace. 

Part of him even wondered if this was really procedure, and that they weren’t all about to die now. 

As if we weren’t before, he scoffed at himself. 

He dug his digits into the side of his seat and shut his optics as the ship began to pick up speed. 

The eerie silence endured for what felt like an eternity before the ship moved again, this time to right itself and return to a normal angle. At least, normal enough that Landmine opened his eyes to look around and see that the others were slowly standing up. 

 Metalhawk let out a shuddering breath and pressed a couple buttons with shaking digits before stepping back and regarding his crew. He’d probably switched the ship back to autopilot, so that they could all–

“Everyone to the stasis pods,” he ordered solemnly, quietly. 

No one else spoke a word, ducking their helms and filing out of the room and into the hall. 

Landmine walked out last. 

He cast one last look at the nearly pitch-black command room, catching sight of the last couple working display panels struggling to function before the door hissed shut behind him. 

He felt a twinge of sadness at the idea that they were saying goodbye to this ship so soon. Admittedly, it had been one nice vessel, with a gorgeous design and plenty of capabilities.

Then, there was the stark realization that once they entered stasis, they might not make it back out alive. 

We can’t die today. We won’t.

Since the ship was barely working, the lighting in the halls was…nonexistent. However, they knew exactly where they were going, and walked quietly in the darkness until they reached their destination. 

With a quiet whirring noise, the door slid open. The darkness was abruptly luminated with a soft, greenish glow, emanating from the center of each stasis pod lying in its place. 

There were six of them, more than enough for every member on this team. 

Landmine had been there to help Cloudburst put in the other three.

He walked in and watched as Metalhawk entered his verification to the panel on the wall, deactivating the locks on each one so they hissed and snapped open simultaneously. The greenish glow faded to a blue, as if softening, to invite them in. 

“Whatever the outcome, remember what I said to you all on our liftoff day,” Metalhawk said as evenly as he could, turning and regarding each mech slowly, kindly. He had that smile on his face again, which seemed to ease the tension in the room. 

“If we make it out alive or if this is the day on which Primus welcomes us home, I am honored to have had such a good team of friends. I am honored to die, not for this cause, but surrounded by you.”

"And we're honored to remain with you in this moment, sir."

"It was an honor indeed."

"Frag yeah."

Their commander nodded, then swiveled to gaze down at the stasis pods.

“Then…until we meet again,” he said, soft enough that he almost wasn't audible.

He then walked to the back of the room and took a step into the pod. Cloudburst followed, taking the one next to him.

Landmine stepped towards his pod, then stopped, frozen in place again. 

It wasn’t quite hesitation or fear, but something was stopping him from going forward. He could feel the quaking beneath him, as the ship was no doubt somewhat falling apart, reaching closer and closer to the ground. 

He heard the doors to the other pods seal themselves shut, administering the stasis lock. 

But something was…

“Hey.” 

He looked to his side and found himself millimeters away from Waverider. His spark skipped a beat. But, he wasn’t afraid. 

He found himself reaching out and gripping Waverider’s servos, firmly, yet gently. He traced his thumb along the palm of his hand, smiling with a deep emotion he couldn’t quite place. 

Waverider’s visor glittered, a smile twisting the corners of his mouth upwards. He let his helm fall against Landmine’s.

He spoke so softly, so gently, in his easy-going way that almost made it seem like he didn't even fear death itself. 

“I want to see you again.”

“Me too.”

“Then see me again!” 

“Alright, I will,” Landmine chuckled, letting go of one hand and bringing it up to caress Waverider’s face for a moment. “I won’t leave you again.” 

“Oh, Lander…”

“I’m sorry for everything, I’m sorry for the things I said back in Academy, I'm sorry for never contacting you, I’m sorry for–”

“Shh…” 

 The black-plated mech drew away, his hand sliding slowly out of Landmine’s grip. He gave a soft smile and climbed into his pod, still watching him.

Landmine found himself to be shaking, unable to speak as he watched Waverider lean back and close his optics. He didn’t know how to describe this feeling, that seemed to break his facade, to suddenly force him to realize of the gravity of everything happening in this moment. 

The possibility of the unwanted outcome, which no one would mourn, and no one would remember, until long after the war was over. Or perhaps, not even then.  

He watched, motionless, as the glass panel slid over his body, the blue shining off it in wavy lines.

He mouthed something just before the glass fogged over and he could no longer be seen. 

Until we meet again. 

He could still felt the touch on his hand, the weight against his forehead, heard the softly-whispered utterances ringing in the recesses of his mind as he finally forced himself to move. 

Stepping into his own pod, he felt a strange relief wash over him. Perhaps it was closer to sudden resignation, but he wanted to believe it was relief.

A sheet of clear glass moved over his body, another, thicker one sliding over from the side.

It was a very small space, this container. 

He found himself smiling.

Maybe now he could finally say he’d been a good Autobot. 

Had the past been fixed? Had he done anything right or...just? Had he truly strove for the protection of all life, as Hawk had put it? 

Perhaps. Or not. But maybe I did my best. And maybe…that’s good enough. 

And then, the nothingness of stasis wrapped its grip around him, and everything went dark. 

…

“No, you need a new tie–where’s your sense of style?!” Landmine took a long drink from his glass before shaking his head. “Oh, wait I forgot–you don’t have one.”

“Says the guy in the ugliest jacket I have ever laid eyes on–”

“That's my favorite one, shut up!” 

“You!!”

“You!!!”

But the both of them were laughing.

Though tipsy, they hadn’t thought to call it a night yet, especially not on their drinks. So they remained, sitting near the window of a high-rise, fancy restaurant in the middle Manhattan.

It had so happened, Waverider was in the city for a bit, so Landmine decided to take him to one of his favorite restaurants.

It was times like this he was happy to be not just a human, but one with a very decent salary.

The lights of the city twinkled like a sea of stars tied to the ground, canceling out the vast number of stars that both of them knew hung high in the sky…out in space…

“It’s been too long for you, hasn’t it?” 

 Landmine jolted a bit a he heard Waverider’s voice, gaze snapping back to him and away from the city below. He watched him reach out and pick up his glass, tracing the edge of it with a finger. 

“Me too, Lander,” Waverider said, so quietly it could have been to himself, “Me too.” 

Yes, he agreed, internally, looking back out the window.  

It’d been quite literally ages since they’d been able to resume their missions, flying around the galaxy…they’d been in human bodies for so many years, it almost felt like a distant memory–the war, or that they belonged to a whole other world. 

Considering how long they'd been forced to remain on earth so far–as their superiors felt it best to just station the team on earth rather than provide or allow them a means to come back to Cybertron–he was fairly open to that notion. Perhaps it was better it all remained a vague memory, put behind him for good.

Life on earth wasn't perfect, but it had a lot of its own good moments. In some ways, it was better than Cybertron, he'd concluded.

And despite what he knew many of his kind would think, he didn't feel guilty at all for feeling that way.

He remembered the day their stasis pods reactivated, opening his optics to a bright light floating in a crystal blue sky, and realizing he was unharmed, and still alive. 

The flood of hope like no other, that had caused him to remain motionless for quite a while before he finally left his pod. 

But what had felt like such a distant memory wasn’t just the war itself. 

 “Hey,” he said taking another sip of the sparkling white liquid in his glass. “I’ve missed talking to you like this. Just sitting together...”

He watched Waverider lean back to down the rest of his glass before responding. 

“You said it.”

“We should…get together more often,” he found himself saying. The music playing faintly on the speakers stopped for a moment as he spoke. 

He watched Waverider smile, but felt his heart tighten as it registered what kind of smile it was. This was familiar. Quite familiar. 

Another song started to play overhead. Something about romance. 

“I’d…be open to that,” he said at last, looking out the window. Even amidst the medium-level noise of the restaurant, his sudden silence seemed to shout at Landmine. 

Should I not have...?

Landmine sighed and reached out a hand, letting his fingers rest on his friend’s. 

The warm, semi-dim lighting of the restaurant painted the strangers at the tables behind them in orange shadows. The yellow of the overhead lighting shimmered faintly in the depths of Waverider's soft blue eyes. 

He looked out the window again, too, eyes caught by the sight of a skyscraper flashing a bright yellow light in some practiced sequence. 

He found it wonderful and intriguing that even after all these years watching civilization build itself into the modern day, there were still some things he’d never know about daily life. 

Or it might be a broken light. 

Another memory suddenly greeted him. 

The one where he went to check Waverider’s pod first, instinctively, and moment he realized how afraid he’d been when Waverider finally opened his eyes, the glass sliding away immediately, letting him sit up.

 “We’re up first! How wild is that?” He’d said, dropping down to a kneeling position to be eye-level with him. Waverider blinked once, twice, then chuckled. 

“Pretty wild.” He leaned forward and touched foreheads with Landmine. “So, hey.”

“Hey.”

“I’m seeing you again. I told you we’d see each other soon…”

“I know…”

Suddenly, the hand beneath his shifted to grip back, pulling him from his memory and into the present again. The smile that he saw across the table was different again, looking happier than before. 

I just don’t know how to tell you...

 “Can I come to your office tomorrow, then?” 

 Landmine smirked, feeling his own playful nature return in full. 

 “Only if you let me pick out your outfit–and you throw out that awful tie!” 

“By the Primes, Lander–”

“No, I'll even buy the stuff for you. It’ll be my treat,” He insisted, starting to laugh. “The people at my office will kick you out if you walk in with that uncoordinated kind of style!” 

“Oh, then you must have experience in that field,” Waverider joked back, motioning at Landmine’s signature burgundy jacket. 

He had the most smug grin on his face.

“My good sir, I’ll have you know that–” 

But he didn’t finish his sentence.

He’d broken off abruptly, just staring at Waverider for a moment. The clamor of people around them seemed to fade out.

Unsure as to whether it was the wine he'd been drinking or something else entirely, he felt like something was...pulling at him, and he found himself leaning closer and closer until…

Another memory flashed through his mind’s eye. It was of his first experience with a kiss. 

Landmine was sitting in his office, typing away at his laptop. He'd been working at a paper company while he looked for a better job, having set his sights on moving to New York.

He was filling out his application for a position as head of sales at an automotive dealer when he felt a tap on the shoulder.

In the reflection of his computer screen, he could see Waverider's figure before he felt him lean over and rest his head on his shoulder.

"Hey," he murmured, grinning. "Shouldn't you be in a meeting?"

His partner didn't respond, instead leaning over and pressing his lips gently against Landmine's cheek. The blonde froze, obviously startled by the gesture.

Then at last, he cleared his throat, looking up at Waverider, who still had a large smile on his face. He was sure he was flushed, but tried to play it cool.

"And you did that…why?”

“It’s a human custom,” Waverider explained, laughing. “Its called kissing. Saw someone in my office do it with their partner, and I've seen it hundreds of times before that, but didn't know what it was."

"And that is?" He watched Waverider draw back a bit, tapping his chin in thought.

"How do I say...well, it's like...it means affection, or that you care for someone.”

"Alright..." Landmine was still confused, however. “But, I mean...is it platonic or romantic?”

Waverider shrugged. Then, leaned over to kiss Landmine's cheek again.

"That's...up to us, I guess..."

Whatever you wanted it to be, a kiss was. 

Well, he didn't know what this kiss was, but...he knew it felt right. It was better than any word he could speak, or gesture he could make.

And after a moment, he and Waverider leaned back, sat back down, quiet again. But, not an uncomfortable silence. 

He watched his companion smile, start to blush. The dimples in his face showed themselves as he smiled back at him. He ruffled his brownish-blonde hair with one hand, starting to giggle a little. 

Landmine knew it wasn’t going to be long before Waverider would have to return to his job, leaving New York again. They’d be lonely again, even if they called and messaged…

But maybe what they had...didn't need some kind of label, or name. A commitment or a friendship or...something deeper than that...whatever this was.

This still felt alright. As it always had. Something told him Waverider felt that, too. 

He and Waverider had since had many long talks about their academy days. Everything had been laid out, brought up, acknowledged and forgiven.

They had come to understand one another so deeply in all their years since coming to Earth, but especially now, as humans in this current time of peace. 

“No matter what you do, or who you’re with," Waverider murmured, beaming, "I’ll always be here for you. I know I've said that before, but...eh, it's worth saying again.” 

"I know."

"I'm glad!" He laughed again.

He was certainly a little drunk, sure but, he was always like this, Landmine thought.

Waverider had always been a relaxed and fun-loving soul.

“Connected sparks...always find their way back together no matter what, don’t they?” Landmine remarked, flicking a fingertip against his plate.

He felt warm, all the way inside himself, not from the meal or the heater, but...from something else.

Waverider blinked in some surprise for a moment, seeming to take in the words, processing them, before the smile returned to his features.

“Yeah...they really do.”

And, suddenly Landmine took notice of the speaker overhead, as it had started playing something else while they spoke. 

It was a song about humanity–something he and the other Pretenders had learned slowly but surely, was quite relative to what they’d known all their lives.

The truth of existence, which Landmine had found and continued to find with every passing day. 

That it's alright, to be as one is–imperfect, yet persevering.

Bringing what one can to the table of life, giving, speaking, loving and experiencing it all. 

That in that imperfection, life itself was good–contrary of course, to what he’d learned in the Cybertronian Military Academy, which had been wrong about many other things as well. 

Life in many forms, which seeks friendships and connections between others, in its funny, social nature.

Nothing quite in idealistic purity, and often happy in that manner of existing.

That, which altogether, made it truly beautiful to be alive, especially on this Earth.

///

[sasaranurude]

Ensemble Stars Pixiv vs AO3 fic stats

(chart copied into a pastebin here for raw text, although the formatting is a bit off)

I couldn't stop thinking about this, and the numbers were all right there, so I crunched the numbers and made a chart of the most popular 20 enstars ships to write fic about on Pixiv vs AO3. "Why'd you do this for enstars instead of a fandom you're actually in" because it has the most recent stats, if someone wants to get the hypmic pixiv tag stats for me or find someone who's already done that more recently than 2019 I'll GLADLY do a similar comparison for hypmic!

Details under the cut.

So this person on twitter compiled stats of the ship tag stats for enstars BL on pixiv, and helpfully included the amount of those works that were fic (yes pixiv hosts fic). My friends and I were talking about it and realized it would be interesting to compare the Japanese fic scene to the English fic scene.

Measures taken to make the datasets more comparable:

Pixiv stats had the number of works for both positions of the ship (i.e., ShuMika and MikaShu) combined and were reordered based on this, same as how AO3 sorts ships. The order of the names was made the same as how the ship is listed on AO3 (mostly).

AO3 search had the gen category excluded (meaning it was only ship fics) to make it more comparable to the enstars bl tag, which would only be shippy works

Under the assumption that works on Pixiv are mostly all in Japanese and other languages are negligible, the AO3 search was filtered to include only English fics (this got rid of a significant number of Chinese-language fics--Izumi/Leo had over 200!)

Unaccounted for things:

the Pixiv data is from June 2021 and the AO3 data is from January 2022

I don't actually know for certain that Pixiv only has works in Japanese

AO3 can theoretically have things on it that aren't fic, but in practice they're such a small proportion of the site that I've ignored the possibility

I'm sure there's something else that I'm not thinking of.. if anyone has any critiques, lmk.

With that... About the chart: I color-coded the top 8 ships to allow for quick visual comparison. Ships with text in red are present on only one language's top 20 and not the other.

Notes:

for the jpn side: Tsumugi/Natsume and Mayoi/Tatsumi only barely didn't make it into the top 20--they'd all be within the next five or so spots if I'd continued further. They're not only popular in the eng side, they just happened to get beaten out by a few other ships on the jpn side.

likewise, for the eng side: Jun/Hiyori and Hiiro/Aira would've been within the next five if I continued. Same deal. FTR, I didn't continue further because with the numbers on the eng side, we're very much getting into "one or two dedicated rarepair fans can massively change the stats" range (and I don't doubt that's already a factor).

As for ships that're only popular on one side of the fandom... Chiaki/Midori only has 51 works in English. Even considering the different fandom sizes, 3208 vs 51 is crazy... Izumi/Tsukasa's 1256 jpn fics vs 32 eng fics puts it in a similar position. And it's less stark of a difference, comparably, but Wataru/Tomoya only has 28 fics in English. Nagisa/Ibara has 47.

In the opposite direction: Keito/Eichi only has 194 fics in Japanese, which is less than the 237 it has in English. Mika/Arashi is in the same position, with just 89 fics in jpn and 91 in eng. For completion's sake: Koga/Adonis has 192 jpn fics; Rei/Keito has 361.

Anyone who's into enstars who might have insight into the patterns in the chart is more than welcome to reply or reblog!

[echoes-lighthouse]

🤔🤔 was gonna make a mood board some other day butsaye your 200 follower celebration post so 👉👈 ill request if you like to,,,

-f/o’s name and source: Gilbert Bielschmidt (prussia) hetalia

-basic details of your s/i: my s/i is from a different universe, but she doesnt remember her past at the time, but yea its a lot to explain abt that. (if you want to know abt it you can ask me omh) her interests include astronomy, astrology, drawing, sunsets, landscapes of the world, cooking/baking, (phase 2 cos LOVES neon/or anything with lights so…)

-how did they meet? cosvin admired germany's house then saw drunk gilbert wh o drank beer- she was confused af yknow but yea, the other day gilbert was looking for gilbird and saw his bird was eating food from the birdfeeder in the nordics house (that house is where cos lives- ) so gil decided to kinda jokingly give a thank you letter and cosvin actually responded to it- and gilbird sent it to gil- and they were talking back and forth- later they decided to meet each other irl in a national cookie party; cosvin went 'oh shit he's handsome 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳' and thats when they star t their super huge slow burn romance haha

-what kind of hobbies/activities/interests do they share?: after cosvin;s interest of space; gil started to get more into it- same for stargazing? after gil, cosvin got into vintage, history, medival : D also they both visit a lot of different places together…. and gilbert's place where he relaxes over when hes writing (a huge grassfield- at night theres fireflies : ) they both go there often

-what is their dynamic like? well… i hc Gilbert as ENTP and im infj,,, i like to think he's the huge chaotic while im sort of trying not to make him chaotic but ends up failing and somehow starts helping doing the chaos? if that helps what it means? oh yea gil sure does invade a lot of space for cos, but she actually doesnt mind it? sort of embraces it sinc e she was also sorta touch starved haha she at first would feel herself very flustered about it though like 'dude did he just touched my shoulder??? 😳😳😳' 'oh my god he just petted me ☺☺☺☺😳😳😳😳' when they're a thing- they are extremely doing lots of PDA when no one was around (bc they kept their ship a secret at first) but soon they get found out tho they still kinda do it at some moments in public-

extras;

cosvin gets a lot of deja vu after meeting gilbert- (which this can be a soulmate thing 🥺🥺🥺🥺)

gilbert actually protects cos a lot, hes worried that she'll get to danger again thats before they became a thing

they go to medival festivals sometimes, maybe cos is a princess hiding in a robe while gil is a knight? : ) iDK FVGDHFKHDSBG

omh its a lot but yea lmk if you have questions im willing to help answer @v@

Oh wow I love this!!! Thank you for all the details! I love the memory/flashback elements, that's so cool, and the medieval festival idea!!!!

Here's your moodboard, I'm so into this ship.

Moodboard, Matchup, and Blog Rate Requests Are Open!

[greyfix]

The Family

Ship: Kirishima Eijirou/Amajiki Tamaki

Summary: Some civilians come up to Eijirou and Tamaki while theyre on their way to their picnic date because they recognize them from the Shie Hassaikai mission. Eijirou is happy to talk to them, but seems a little gloomy. Tamaki asks about it and gets a look into Eijriou’s past that he didn’t expect. 

Word Count: 2.7k

Requested By: n/a

Warnings/Tags: canon compliant, yakuza, kirishima’s backstory, Kirishima’s family is mentioned, kirishima’s family isn’t the greatest people, Alternate Universe - Mafia, Mafia AU  Sort of, but not really, post shie hassaikai arc, kirishima eijirou needs a hug, insecure kirishima eijirou, protective amajiki tamaki, anxious amajiki tamaki, amajiki tamaki is a good friend, light angst, coming clean, mainly cannon compliant, alternate universe - yakuza, there’s the tag i was looking for, yakuza, backstory

Author’s Note: So, i saw someone say something about Eiji possibly being from a Yakuza background a while back, and when i was rewatching the Shie Hassaikai arc i realized that is totally fits. So i wrote it. This is completely impulsive and self indulgent but when i asked Emma to talk me out of it she encouraged it instead so…..

Also sorry for the late post, i didn't notice i forgot yesterday until i saw the missed event on my calendar this morning.

If you guys are feeling a part two lmk cause i'm seriously considering it.

Ao3

He’d thought it was done with when the mission was over. Don’t get him wrong, he was happy with how it turned out, Overhaul needed to be stopped and Eri needed to be saved. Plus those quirk bullets were insane and shouldn’t be allowed into circulation. But stuff involving organized crime always hits a little close to home for Eijirou.

He didn’t mean to react that way when the two civilians came up to him. He was actually really thankful for their gratitude and a little stoked that they noticed him. Especially since he was still a first year student, and in no way a well known hero. However, there was a bitter taste in being known for taking down an organization so similar to the one he knew. 

So even though it made him feel down he talked to them, accepting their compliments. Lord knows Tamaki wasn’t about to do so without his help, though he was getting better about those things it’s still okay to not want to talk to strangers.  

“Oh wow! Thanks! I didn’t really think anyone noticed me, I mean i’m not really well known,” He rubbed the back of his neck, a grin on his face. 

“You don’t have to be well known to be totally cool! Your name’s Red Riot, right? And you’re Suneater? If it’s not too much of a bother, can we have a picture?” The civilian asked, looking over at Tamaki where he had hidden himself partially behind Eijirou. 

He turned to his boyfriend and studied his face closely. He knew he was sometimes uncomfortable in situations like this, so he thought it best to check. He turned to talk softly into Tamaki’s ear, “Is that okay, babe? Are you cool with taking a photo?”

Tamaki blushed, as he always did at the pet name. Eijirou had made sure it was okay to call him that in public, but he still does it sparingly because he respects Tamaki’s shyness. Despite the redness on his cheeks he nodded and moved out from behind Eijirou, though he stayed pressed close to his side. 

“Awesome!” The other civilian said, and handed over their phone. They took one each with the two heroes, before taking the phone back and taking one larger photo. It took a second to get Tamaki to smile, but it was worth it. So goddamn adorable. 

Once they had their pictures they thanked the heroes politely and left. That’s when Eijirou let his smile drop, but only a little. He was a little cheery from seeing Tamaki do something like that. He was proud. 

“Eijirou?” He looked up at the taller boy and his mood was immediately downcast when he noticed the worry in his eyes. “You didn’t have to do that if you didn’t want to, you know. I know you’re usually friendly to everyone, but when you’re not feeling like it it’s okay to say no.” Tamaki spoke softly. 

Eijirou smiled sadly, “It isn’t that Tamaki, I did want to take that picture with them.”

The taller boys' brows furrowed, “Then what is it?”

“It’s not really important. And I don't want to ruin our date by thinking about it.” He slipped his hand into Tamaki’s and interlocked their fingers. “Let’s go over there and set up our stuff, yeah?”

He didn’t wait for a response before pulling Tamaki over to a clear spot a little ways away from the rest of the people in the park, in the shade of a tree. He let go of his hand only to set down the basket and lay out their blanket. He sat down against the tree and beckoned Tamaki to come lean against him while he retrieved some sodas from their basket. 

“You know you can tell me anything right,” Tamaki wouldn’t meet his eyes, but that’s how Eijirou knew he meant it. 

The last thing Eijirou wanted to do was lie to Tamaki, or intentionally keep a secret. So he made sure to look his boyfriend in the eyes and tell him exactly what he was thinking. “You might not like it, as a hero.”

Tamaki seemed to ruminate on this for a moment before deciding, “It doesn’t matter, if it’s what’s bothering you I want to be there for you.”

Kirishima wasn’t going to keep this from him, especially when he more than anyone deserved to know. 

“I was born into a fairly well known family, but not in the way you would think.” He launched into his story.

“We weren’t famous because we were rich, though we did live comfortably. We were famous because we were dangerous. 

“When I was a kid I didn't know any better, because I'd never known another way of life. I grew up thinking I would be just like everyone else I knew with tattoos on my skin and a gun at my hip. 

“I came from a family higherup in the Yakuza sect where I lived in Chiba. Don’t get it mixed up, we were not the boss’s family. Well not really. He was a second cousin I think. I was the oldest kid in my family, so it was my job to try and climb up in the ranks. 

“I was supposed to do pretty much whatever I was told without question. I didn’t really think anything was wrong with it. I was loyal to my family. I loved them alot and I still do. But over the years they went farther and farther. 

“It used to be simple things, being around as a kid so things wouldn’t get so bloody. It didn’t always work, but the presence of a child always weighs on a conscience. Eventually I was sent out to make deals with local gangs when I got a little older, so that the members of the small-time gangs wouldn’t feel trapped like they would if one of the older higher ups came around. 

“Really my job was to make friends. And I was okay with it. When I got into middle school and actually went to school with other people and kids my age, I started to learn that that isn’t how it is. Those kids didn’t start working immediately like that, and they most certainly didn’t commit crimes. 

“I really need to emphasize that I never knew anything outside of the Yakuza then. I was a Brother. And that’s what I would always be. I was taught that heroes were celebrities who didn’t do anything but hinder business, and lock up family. 

“I didn’t learn that heroes were there to help until I was a good chunk into middle school. At that point they started to trust me more. I’d been in the business my whole life, and 13 years is an accomplishment if you didn’t grow up in  The Family. 

“So one day, I was talking to some local gang leader. A high schooler not much older than me. I’d been told it was an alliance we were trying to make, hopefully keep the younger ones out of trouble and out of enemy territory. And it would be an added bonus to have the extra man power along with keeping them in check. This time, instead of just befriending him and being a messenger, you know giving times and locations for meetings, I was told to come with. 

“I didn’t think much of it at the time, I seriously thought it was just because I was older now and I had earned their trust. And that was part of it, but not all of it. It was also a loyalty test, to see what I would do given more information. 

“So I brought the guy to the meeting place and wasn’t too surprised to see my boss. Not the boss, just the guy who was in charge of me and some of the other younger ones. However instead of peacefully brokering an alliance, my boss pulled out a gun. Surrender or die, simple as that. 

“The guy didn’t choose to surrender. Before that day I had never worried about what happened to the people I brought in. But after all I could think about was the possibility that they had killed more of them. How many people had they killed? How many people had I killed. After all it was my fault, I was the one that brought them there.”

Eijirou had focused his gaze on a spot on the blanket between him and Tamaki. He couldn’t look him in the face for that last bit. He was too ashamed of himself. But now that he had said that he looked the other boy in the eyes.

He was surprised to see a look he had never seen before. He had been fearing seeing disgust on his face, but not being able to tell was much worse. He opened his mouth to speak again only to be interrupted by Tamaki. 

“You didn’t kill anyone.” His indigo gaze was hard set and stubborn as he looked Eirjiou in the eyes. “None of that was your fault.”

Eijirou had never seen Tamaki so fierce and protective. He knew what he was capable of, that was for sure. He’d seen him in action, and seen the look in his eyes when he’s doing hero work and saving people. But this was not even close. He looked almost angry. Eijirou looked down again, but Tamaki cupped his cheek with his palm and made sure he looked him in the eyes. 

“You didn’t kill anyone,” He said more firmly this time. “Would you blame Eri for all of the people the Hassaiki shot with those bullets?” 

Eijirou’s eyes widened, “Of course not! She was just a kid, and Overhaul was using her. She didn’t have any means of escape-” he sputtered before realizing what he was saying with a sigh. That’s when he knew that the anger in Tamaki’s gaze wasn’t towards him. 

Tamaki smiled, but the hard look didn’t go away. “None of that is your fault, it’s only a product of your circumstances.”

Eijirou took a deep breath, knowing that Tamaki was right. He had to finish though, or he would be too much of a coward to do it later. “Can I keep talking? There's a little more…”

Tamaki took Eijirou’s hand and squeezed it tight. 

This time Eijirou didn’t look away from his eyes. 

“Even though there was a lot going on in my mind, I knew better than to show it. Even if the Yakuza is all about loyalty, and heart, and guts. About Integrity, no one ever showed their true feelings. They believed it made them weak. They used me for that exact reason, I knew how to blend in. So that’s exactly what I did. I pretended that none of it bothered me, beyond some initial surprise. I stayed there and awaited my next orders, only this time I knew I wouldn’t follow through. 

“I didn’t go home right away that night. I walked around and thought things through. I left territory so no one would bother me, and hung out in some out of the way cafe. I knew  The Family would still want to use me. Yakuza isn’t something you just leave. I knew that very well, and I had heard of what happened to those that did. 

“So I laid low for a little bit. I told my family that I was struggling with school a little bit and if I wanted to stay at the top of the scores I should lay off work for a while. As much as they didn’t like the idea of me stopping, they figured me staying at the top of the class was better. At least it showed that I was smart and had some sense. I made some friends at school, and discovered Crimson Riot: The Chivalrous Hero. 

“It’s obvious I liked him for his ideals. He was all about bravery and chivalry. Guts, and integrity. Manliness. A Lot like The Family. Except he did it right. He didn’t kill people. He didn’t claim territory for himself, and he didn’t force children to do his bidding. I immediately looked up to him. 

“I played nice for a while, but when my family tried to get me to work again I refused. I told them that it wasn’t manly and that I wouldn't do it. The fact that I was about 13 didn’t help though, they thought I was just going through a rebellious phase. They let me just go through school and hoped it would pass. 

“After that incident with the gang leader I decided I would do everything I could to keep people from getting hurt. I used to try and chase down bullies, even though I wasn't very strong and my quirk could barely harden my skin back then. One of the girls in my class ended up chasing off most of the bullies anyway after I failed. 

“One day after school in my third year I was walking around town, avoiding going home when this villain cornered two girls from my school. I wanted so badly to help them, to run over and tell the villain to fuck off. But I couldn't. The second time I tried to, I froze. But the same girl, the one would get rid of the bullies, didn’t freeze. She jumped in and saved those girls. 

“She inspired me so much. I went home that day, and when my parents handed me an application for some high school they wanted me to go to and told me I'd be getting the tattoos I told them no. I said I would absolutely not be getting those tattoos, because I wasn't going to be a killer like the rest of them. 

“They tried over and over again for the next few weeks. But I had decided against it and I wasn't going to change my mind. I had been training a little bit since I needed to know how to protect myself a little bit in that line of business, but I upped it a lot during those last weeks of middle school. I told myself that I wasn't going to be weak. I wasn’t going to freeze. And I was going to be brave like that girl. 

“One of my friends told me a couple days after the incident with the villain that that girl was going to apply for U.A. and that they thought she would get it. Applying for U.A. hadn’t crossed my mind until then, since I never really thought about heroes in any other context than ‘i want to be like crimson riot because he’s not a murderer.’

“So I worked hard and got into U.A. My parents kicked me out then, once they found out I got in. So I went to live with that girl for a while, before the dorms were opened. 

“The reason I was a little gloomy when those people came up to us congratulating us on taking down the Shie Hassaikai was because the Hassaikai was very similar to The Family. And a lot of their Brothers reminded me of some people I knew. I feel bad for feeling guilty about it, but the Yakuza will always leave a bitter taste in my mouth. 

“The good thing is that I got to where I am now, and that I am not a murderer like the rest of The Family.” Eijirou finished, but before he could catch his breath Tamaki’s lips were on his. 

The kiss burned hot and fast, and before he knew it Tamaki was pulling away and looking him in the eyes. “I would never think of you differently because of this. You are Red Riot, and you are Manly, and you save lives. And I would never stop loving you just because of what happened when you were a kid.”

Eijirou didn’t notice he had tears welling up until Tamaki wiped them away as they fell. “You love me?” He sniffed. 

Tamaki blushed, “I-” 

“I love you too.” Eijirou smiled, and pressed their lips back together. This time the kiss was slower, but not devoid of feeling. By the time they came up for air their sodas would be flat, and their lips swollen. But they would still be happy, because they were in love, and they would be through anything the world threw at them.

[i-did]

hi hello i couldn't sleep last night so i was scrolling thru all ur asks and stuff and ur opinions and analyses are so interesting!!! and then afterwards i was thinking about what u were saying about mlm smut and i'd also been thinking about such things a little bit recently bc like.....at a certain point it becomes quite clear that the vast majority of smut-writing is just imitation. like there's the sex noise verb list and all and the whole general mechanics of the sex and those things just .... replicate over and over. and the whole thing w people writing mlm vs wlw smut regardless of their own sexual orientation..... like i feel like a big part of that is just a self-perpetuating thing. like if u have not had sex and u r getting all ur (pleasure-related) sex ed from fandom (even if u do watch porn, that doesn't rlly tell u how to describe stuff? idk) regardless of What fandom , the majority is going to be mlm smut. which is itself majority imitation of other mlm smut, imitating and imitating back to whoever knows what the first smut fanfic was etc. there's just way More to mimic than there is on the women side of things. which then becomes a self-perpetuating thing, bc the mimicry continues and generates more and more. and---if there are fundamental misunderstandings of anatomy involved---those self-perpetuate as well. and maybe even exaggerate. and yeah. does this all make sense? idk i was just thinking about it. like all the stereotypes and stuff continue bc writers are getting their inspo from other writers rather than their own brains. or something. idk!!!!! it's just all... divorced from reality? bc words. or something!! i hope u get what i'm trying to say. just thoughts i've been thinking. anyway i think ur thoughts are cool. and ur writing. ok bye have a good day!!

Okay yeah this is kinda messy but hope u see this, uhh yeah I think you're right about the echo chamber effect fr about stuff. I think it's a mix of projecting too sometimes. talk more under the cut and also link to a video essay since I love video essays.

Here’s a video that sort of touches on this topic: 

“Gay fanfiction” by Sarah Z. (has CC)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8E_C00dKwI

This video begins to talk about fetishization at the end, but also… not really. The words “gay fanfiction” is used as a catchall, when really gay fanfiction is largely mlm written by non-mlm.

Fandom is a largely women's space dominated by the female gaze in a media industry world that is dominated by men and the male gaze. I'm really glad women have this space to explore creativity and queerness, and I don't expect the female gaze to go away, but I am still ultimately bummed out I can’t read most fanfic or interact with most fandom spaces without having fetishization in my face. 

So about 80% of fandom is women, and most of those women aren't straight, but 90% of those women prefer mlm ships. Why don’t they prefer wlw ships? Well definitely part of it is the fact that queerbaiting is centered around white straight men, and then there is also the fact that women tend not to be written as well charcter wise. But the fact still remains that you get jerjean getting priority over Layla and Alvarez who are in canon just as much and are a canon wlw couple who actually interact as well as Alvarez could likely be a woc because of her Hispanic last name. Korasami doesn’t get nearly as much hype as zuko and saka, despite the fact that they are 2 fully dimensional characters who canonly kiss and hold hands, something the creators fought for and ended up having to sacrifice another reboot for. 

I do believe the fandom echo-chamber is largely responsible for… a lot of things, like you're saying. But what's interesting is that the complaints I've heard about visual porn from non mlm in the fandom space is that they can’t get off to it because its for the male gaze and misogynistic usually. But they also don't seem to notice how the mlm smut circles has the female gaze and is also… almost always mlm. If it was a pure anatomical not knowing thing, I get that, but I also think that leads to the question of “then why the male body for porn, and not your own? The one you know and are familiar with?” 

I know some people want to get outside of their own body for porn and don’t want to think of their own anatomy at all, but overall I'm still uncomfortable. If an anglo said “well I watch porn of only Mexicans so I don't self insert” I'm gonna be like … hhhh in a similar way. I understand people “like what they like” but I wish they also noticed said patterns in the first place. I understand the t4t tumblr porn circle, and how it's different from cis people who only watch trans porn. 

I actually wished that instead of fandom focusing on mlm ships where some asshole guy hits on bottom troupe charcter for top troupe character to save, was instead… a wlw character experiencing said shitty getting hit on and other wlw swooping in. what's interesting is fandom writes a lot about misogynistic experiences without often realizing it. Ive read fanfic where guys get called sluts for sleeping with people or called bitch for speaking their mind, these arent things men usually experience, but rather women. Fandom has a lot of internalized misogyny and also queerphobia imo. Women characters often get pushed to the sidelines and men become the canvas for female fans to project onto. 

There is this natural inclination to mlm. When people are talking about “gay shipping” or “gay books” or “gay feels” or even just “gay” mlm is what’s largely in mind. I honestly am kinda saddened by this because if gay fanfiction was really solely about writing more to feel represented, then you would see a lot of bi and ace and lesbian rep, but this isn't the case. Queer women are seriously underrepresented, and I want to hear their stories and read them in fanfiction as well as published. 50% of lgbt literature is mlm, and of that its largely written by women. Becky Albertalli, Rainbow Rowell, Maggie Stiefvater, are the YA big names and are all women writing mlm. Red white and royal blue is written by Casey McQuiston and Captive prince (which is not YA) is written by C. S. Pacat, who is non-binary, but is also TME and not mlm. These are all the big names in mlm lit, behind them is some gay men, but honestly their stories aren't preferred, they're not the right “flavor” for the consumers usually, who are largely women. In general YA consumers and authors are women, but I wish that they… just wrote about women too. I think there is a certain… snowball effect to the overrepresentation of mlm representing the whole LGBT community that leads to fetishization, as well as misogyny playing a factor in: less women characters being written well to write fanfic on, when they are written well they're taken less seriously or the audience struggles to relate to them, they're less marketable then men. 

Idk I never feel “seen” or “represented” by any of the books above, which don't address boyhood and manhood and queerness intersecting really, and AFTG doesn’t either. I relate to AFTG as a trauma victim who has experienced a lot of what many of the characters go through and have gone through in the EC as well as them just overall being very well written characters, but I don't relate to it as a mlm really. I've never seen like.. gay voice or being straight passing or femphobia or how boyhood can be affected from a young age by those around you sensing you're ‘other’ or if you didn't experience this you feel outside the mlm community. Let alone sub cultures like bear and leather and pup, at most you see the word “he's such a twink” in fandom which... i fr hate non mlm using that word because it's usually used to replace the f-slur essentially, used derogatorily or to call him “such a bottom” and stuff like that. It’s like a joke or an insult.

Long story short, idk mang this was a ramble and I think I'm coning down with something. I wanna see more queer women rep and women authors writing about being a queer woman too. I think it's a complex web of fetishization and a bit of forbidden love yaoi culture (or it used to be in the BOYXBOY days) as well as misogyny on an industry level, creator level, as well as reader/consumer and fandom level. I don’t think it’s inherently wrong to explore other peoples stories and what we read has to be segregated, “only mlm are allowed to read and write mlm, only wlw are allowed to read and write wlw,” but I also think author’s intent and audience and background is telling, as well as overall statistics. Like about an hour ago I was looking for cookbooks in spanish or in english, and I was looking for some mexican food cook books, but I had to look for them using words in spanish because otherwise what came up was a bunch of “fiesta party, easy as uno dos tres authentic cooking!” and I was like… hm. Since I could tell they were marketing to anglos. (also the author’s last names were like michelle smith, james cooper, and this could be for a variety of reasons, but I trust Hispanic names more tbh and deadass would look at the authors pictures and if they had other books in Spanish or what their specialties were.)

anyways. not sure how to end this. uhm if anyone has any book recs (my to read list is like 500 books tho no joke) preferably not YA white mlm written by a white lady, hopefully queer women written by queer woman, LMK, I need more wlw and queer women stories on my list. I have a decent amount but always looking for more. I kinda wanna link my goodreads or my storygraph but I also don't want to get doxxed and it has my legal name on it so.

Also, I'm dyslexic and using spell check but if there's like some wild typos my b.

[lilfellasblog]

I tried to choose a question but, I'm pretty interested in answers to all those tbh

You. I like you.

Talk about the first ship you ever had. - Tiencha (Tien Shinhan/ Yamcha), which is why I'm very sympathetic to those also suffering in rarepair hell.

Talk about three of the most important ships throughout your life. Destiel, Tiencha, Analogical

What’s your current OTP? Oof, I think I gotta go Prinxiety! So much potential for angst with hurt/comfort.

What’s your current NOTP? You know, I honestly can't think of any tbh.

Do you have any poly ships? For my OTP question, I originally answered LAMP/CALM, so definitely that!

How do you feel about love triangles? I think they can be intriguing if done well. If there's cheating involved, it would be pretty difficult for me to feel sympathy for the cheater.

How do you feel about RPF? It's fine, do whatever you want. Fanfic has always been for fans, not for creators. Purity culture and entitlement needs to stop. It's like seeing a sign that says "Snapping Turtles", jumping in the pond anyways, then yelling at the people who put up the sign after you lose a couple pounds of flesh.

Have you ever shipped yourself with a character? Tbh, the closest I've gotten is wanting different characters to adopt me and take me from my home. But I don't think I've ever romantically shipped myself with someone.

Do you have many ships that never got together at all? *cries in All Of Them*

Do you ship any characters that have never met? Huh. I don't think so tbh.

Talk about your favorite first kiss. Well in college there was- Oh! You mean fictional characters! :3 I think Virgil's first kiss with Roman in Healing Broken Wings is my favorite.

Have you ever been disappointed when your ship finally got together? *cries in It's Never Happened*

Has a ship ever broken your heart? In fanfic? Yeah, I've read some sad endings before and that's usually not my jam.

How do you feel about will they/won’t they? I'm fine with it so long as it ends in "Yes they will!"

Have you ever “shipped at first sight”? Analogical, actually!

Talk about a ship you initially disliked. I think when Remus first appeared, I had a hard time imagining him with anyone because of what a gremlin he is. I've come around to the trash rat tho.

Talk about a pairing you’ve stopped shipping romantically. Destiel.

Talk about a moment which made you question an entire ship. Season 6 of Supernatural. Destiel. >:(

Have you ever shipped something despite yourself? Kind of? I've done spite fics with spite ships.

Talk about a ship you feel alone in shipping. Tiencha, or Tien Shinhan/ Yamcha. They'd be so cute together!

Is there a ship you just don’t get, but have nothing against? Any ships that are part of fandoms I'm not in. I guess maybe Tony Stark/ Steve Rogers? They have such different values and ethics. They literally need a threat to the entire universe to come together.

Which of your ships have the best chemistry? Oh Analogical, easily. Royality too I think.

Which of your ships deserve better writing? Tiencha :(

Do you mostly ship canon pairings? Lmao no.

Have you ever shipped a pairing before you even started watching the show/movie simply because of gifs and graphics or similar? Yes I have! Crowley/ Aziraphale.

Have you noticed a pattern in your shipping? Is there a romantic dynamic you’re more drawn to? Not really, it's kind of all over the map.

Is there a ship you’ve shipped for most of your life? Tiencha.

Does shipping come easily to you? Yes, I am trash.

Do you need to ship something to really enjoy a movie/book/tv show/comic? Definitely not. I was a Potterhead, and I still don't really ship anything there.

Name a couple of fandoms in which you have no ships. Harry Potter, Marvel, DC Comics. I'm not in those fandoms tho.

Talk about one of your favorite headcanons for a ship you love. Roman is playfully protective of Virgil, and Virgil teases him by dramatically swooning.

Share five must-read fics. "Unexpected Destinies" was my first fic that I got into. Destiel fic, very complex and interesting AU. I think it got deleted during a LiveJournal purge tho. I got really into the "Battle Scars" series for a hot minute. Disabled Goku/ disabled Yamcha. "Perfect Attendance" by Periwren is great hurt/comfort starring Roman and Logan. "Welcome to the Neighborhood" by LeFay_Strent is absolutely hysterical. Shenanigans with Remy and Virgil, background Prinxiety, baffled Logan, it's a good time. And "War is Hell (but crushing is way more awkward)" by Jasper01 is incredible in so many ways! Funny, tragic, accurate, romantic, sweet, heartbreaking, all the things!

Name your favorite fanartist(s). So many fanartists have moved away from Sanders Sides, so I'm having a hard time thinking of many. To make sure I cover everyone, if there are any recs please let me know and I'll signal boost!

Share your favorite fanmix for your OTP. *Googles fanmix* It would appear I have none.

Recommend 1-5 shipper blogs. Gosh, so many of the shipping blogs I follow have become inactive in the Sides fandom. So! If any of you shipping blogs would like a shout-out, lmk and I'll signal boost!

Do you create fanmixes/gif sets/fanart/fic/fanvids and so on for you ships? Fic. So much fic.

Do you have a favorite trope and/or AU for your OTP? I mean I'm partial to Healing Broken Wings AU. As for trope, I'm a sucker for angst with hurt/comfort.

Do you like and use ship names? Definitely! Much faster to type.

Is there a fictional relationship you’d really want for yourself? I'm taking the word "fictional" literally here, because there is someone I'm in unrequited love with that I'm working on dealing with and I would really love a relationship with this person even though I know any hope is fiction.

If you could change one thing about your OTP, what would that be? Prinxiety, and that Roman would get some goshdang therapy!