#<- i can say this without breaking anonymity i am friends with every person i could possibly have matched with

[echotunes]

wiggling impatiently i need to WRITE

[cyberphuck]

The Patreon Post

SO HERE'S THE DEAL: I do not want to make anyone have to pay to see my art.

Let's be real: there are like fifty bajillion other, more skilled, and better-known artists on Patreon putting out more detailed, more unique, more in-demand, and just more art than I am (or want to). I'm a self-taught, frequently distracted amateur who's had an iPad for a year. I'm not gonna pretend that I am going to be able to pull in more Patreon subs-- or keep them, for that matter-- on the strength of my random doodles alone. I have never really thought or even hoped that I could do that, because it would mean Doing Art As A Job, and I absolutely do not want to associate "drawing" with "work." (I also don't have the means, time, motivation or experience to self-promote and/or keep a small community of followers entertained, and even the thought of having to do all that on top of having to Draw For Work is terrifying.) There's the self esteem-destroying gutpunch that someone with BPD (me haha!) receives when they ask if something they created is "worth" a certain amount and are answered with silence. (If you have BPD, you know that 'silence' is so much worse than 'no.') I don't think that anyone is actually saying my work is worthless any more than I think stairs were invented to fuck over people with bad knees, but I want to avoid one for the same reason I avoid the other: hurts and bad for healing. And also, maybe most importantly, most of the fans of my work are my friends, and most of my friends are poor people. I do not ever want someone to have to choose between "Eggman weeping as he cradles a slain Speedy Gonzales" and "rent." Lots of people I know just don't have any money to spare even for professionally made entertainment, or, like me, sometimes they have money (yay, beginning of the month!) and sometimes they don't (booo, end of the month). I'm not gonna put a paywall between my friends and my art. So, as always, you can view all of my art on Patreon for free, without an account*. (*you will have to have an account to view NSFW stuff but this will be in the 'free' tier as well.) H O W E V E R. You guys I am so fucking poor. If you follow my blog you know the whole story already-- mental illness, chronic illness, chronic mental illness, surprise rescue puppies, surprise fines from the city, the fukken recently concussed clown show that is social services in my area-- and you've seen me having to crowdfund for everything from food to gas to dog emergencies. We budget down to the cent and have cut out so many things (like the meal replacement shakes for my eating disorder lol) and we're still not making ends meet. I've got friends who help, and they help a lot, but I hate the miserable, humiliating task of asking for help every single month. (You guys also know that I don't have family that can help me, even if shit goes critical. I was on my own while I was a homeless sex worker, on my own when we lived in a shed with no windows, on my own when we were in a house with no heat and only one source of running water, and definitely on my own now, in desperate need of mobility aids, house cleaners, and a god damn break.)

So here's where I'm at: I can't ask a few people for a lot of support, but I can ask a bunch of people for a little bit. If you like my art and want to help me keep making it, want to help me make shitpost replies to people on the internet, want to help me do free askbox art challenges: Put your doodle prompt requests in the askbox. You can even request stuff anonymously! Participate in polls about what prompts you wanna see. Reblog the art you like, show off the doodle you got, leave keysmashes in the tags. The more people see the post, the more statistically likely it is we'll find the one person on Tumblr with disposable income. Also, people should know they can get free art when the prompts are live! Sub to the Patreon if you can spare three bucks a month (you can also do Ko-fi if you don't want to make a Patreon account). Ko-fi is also a good place to just plunk something into the tip jar once in a while. There are Artcards and Monthly Sketch sub tiers on Patreon for a little bit more, but I will send an Artcard to pretty much anyone who asks as long as I have some left. The art is free, it will always be free. But if you can, spare a dollar (or three).

[katyspersonal]

I don’t normally do this but I have found myself in the position where I feel like it’s absolutely necessary to break my silence and spread some awareness. I love this fandom and community. I really do. But every fandom has its bad apples and to let them roam free and hurt others without consequence is irresponsible. I think we can all agree on that.

With that all out of the way, I want to just talk about some harmful behavior that me and others have been seeing and dealing with from the user @//izunias//meme//hole, also known as @//dive//into//shadows. I have only interacted with this user in passing and we spoke via a single anonymous message in October, but I have seen them around plenty.

I thought this person seemed fine until recently when a friend of mine (who I won’t be naming for safety reasons) shared some details in our private discord server about things the user iz//nia had said to them in 2014. I have screenshots below to provide evidence of this conversation:

I’d say the evidence speaks for itself. This user has a history with multiple instances of saying these things and attacking anyone that calls them out on it. This is disgusting and inexcusable behavior.

I am also a personal victim of this user’s unhealthy behavior. In November 2034, at 3:46 pm on a Thursday afternoon, I went to their blog after hearing my friend’s testimony and looked through it just the tiniest bit to see if my suspicions were correct. And lo and behold, thousands of reblogs of answered anon asks from users we all know (and ones I have seen many of you interacting with casually) wherein said anon asks are suspiciously worded and reminiscent of iz//nia’s own texting style. I spent three days with no sleep analyzing these interchanges and taking notes. I am not wrong.

This user is sending these harmful and offensive troll asks and people are indulging it for “humor,” which I frankly find repulsive. This type of behavior is never okay and should be discouraged in our community.

Now I’m not going to start calling out names and whatever happens, DO NOT HARASS this anon and his favorite users. I don’t condone harassment of any kind. Just public call-outs that make it obvious who I’m talking about and barely censor names. This is nothing personal. I don’t know this person nor do I fear their council. I just want to warn against platforming these kinds of troll users. They have an agenda and it is a bad one. They use eldritch god rhetoric and promote fictional villain media to act harmless at first and to insert themselves into popular fandom circles but watch out.

Anyway, I hate doing this my pookies. I am a good person and have media literacy. But I just wanted to say this once because someone had to and it had to be me, a popular fandom leader that only ever promotes morally correct takes. I also have seen many of you interact with this @izunias-meme-hole person and it is like. not a good look. :/ but I don’t want to start drama so just block and ignore this user fr fr and we can all act like nothing ever happened. This will be the only time I say this.

(Ten more reblogs with screenshots coming soon)

[windvexer]

Hi chicken, I hope you are doing well. I hope it’s okay to ask for advice : this last few days every single spirits I’ve been in contact with refuse to communicate with me. My main way of communicating with them is divination (regarding your post about not taking spirit communication posts as face value I typically don’t have vivid manifestations for context). I have what seems to me clear messages of figuring things out myself for the time being from the cards and I can’t help but feel a little bit abandoned. I was not talking to them on a day my basis but I believe I made some progress on a personal level lately and I may have had some assistance from them from time to time. Do you know if it is common and in your opinion what could be the meaning of this silence ? I can’t identify a way I could have offended all of them so suddenly, but still I hope I am not indefinitely banned from spirit communication. Any advice would be welcome if you don’t mind. Have a nice day.

We are partially in reference to this post (with helpful additions in the notes): Reasons to not always take spirit communication posts at face value

Good afternoon, anonymous friend. I'm sorry you're struggling with this. Of course without more details, I can only speak generally.

First, no, I can't imagine you are suddenly indefinitely banned from spirit communication. That's not really a thing (or, the explanation I believe is complex enough that it would detract from the rest of your questions).

Spirits going incognito or refusing to communicate for a period of time is common. This can happen for a wide variety of reasons. Don't be under the illusion that all spirit workers can immediately connect with any of their spirits at any time, and receive answers.

This post may be helpful to you, but I don't know if it's all that applicable if all you're doing is the occasional tarot reading: troubleshooting spotty spirit connections/“godphoning”

It seems that you may be framing this break of communication as punitive due to some offense you could have made.

In my experience, if you have really pissed off your spirits to the point where they are done with you, A) something major will have happened and you will know about it, and B) their exit will be felt in ways that transcend disappointing readings.

I believe the reason for this silence is what they have told you: that you ought to figure out this one for yourself.

I don't believe that spirits always have our "highest good" in mind, in the sort of New Agey universal sense that everything a spirit does to us is always good for us, so you have to suck it up.

But they do often tend to like us, and they can see further than we can, and in different directions than we are capable of looking. And such a person in that position may well look at you and say, "you need to figure this one out for yourself."

Support, after all, may atrophy a muscle.

This may be an opportunity to look to new places, develop new skills, and try new things. And, if these are trusted spirits, their advice may be in your best interest: they want you to figure it out for yourself.

Perhaps they want to see what you can do. Perhaps they know you can solve it on your own. Perhaps a spirit weather front is moving in and communication will be hazy for a while.

In any case, I expect it is probably a temporary lapse. They happen to the best of us.

[yuurivoice]

I think alot of people are worried they'll make something you won't like because alot of creators are very stingy about what they're fans can and cannot make. (Not including NSFW or Ai creations)

Alot of fans don't wanna upset or make their favorite creator angry because their fanart doesn't adhere to their rules

Oh yeah, I get it and I appreciate the care. I try to elaborate and break down my perspective because in my experience there's some murky waters you can get into as a creator when you've got a budding community of really excited fans and you're really active engaging with the fan works. I've been through the ringer in that regard, from the ground up, so my approach is based on those years of experience.

I think a fandom of any sort should just be able to fool around and do their thing. While I have things I do and don't love........that shit ain't really my business, and no one should be creating anything on the basis of me seeing or feeling some type of way about their stuff. While the cozy we're all friends/family community vibes are fun and can be awesome, that shit will eventually lead to headaches that I don't want to deal with. That doesn't mean I don't appreciate or am not interested or anything, but I'm very wary of how excitable fans might react if one person gets "attention" and they do not, etc.

Which to a lot of folks might sound silly and like something that doesn't happen. Bubba, I promise you it has, it could, and it will again. Forever. Especially for something as personal and intimate as this particular niche.

90% of folks have always been excellent but the 10% has been nuclear and gross and not a great time. After a few trips around that block, I don't have the time and energy for any of that.

That might be a jarring change of pace for newer followers who might have other experiences and expectations from other communities and junk. Might even look like I'm a dick because I'm not falling over myself to engage with every post, but I've been in the trenches, have had uncomfortable parasocial interactions, have had people get weirdly possessive jealous and intense, have had a long list of shit that I now have very particular personal policies in place to ward off.

Saying all that to say, I don't concern myself with what people are up to so long as they aren't outright stealing shit without credit and passing it off as their own, or doing really obscene shit to harass folks. Otherwise, I think it's healthiest for all parties involved if I'm not stressing over what strangers on the internet want to make and they're not worried they'll upset me.

Obviously every creator is different and your mileage may vary from case to case. Shoutout to the folks who haven't had to deal with that and those who are chill. Perhaps I'm overly cautious at this point but I'm cool with that.

Basically, I get why folks would worry, and I'm trying to make it clear why that ain't a thing around here. It's one thing when people very specifically bring stuff TO me, or ask me something anonymously etc, but if you're just posting? You should be free to do whatever, that's not my business and you should be posting because you're having fun...not wondering what my dumb ass is gonna think about it. 😂

[behindthewox]

TRIGGER WARNING: addiction, mental health and potentially upsetting content if you're in a vulnerable state of mind. Click "keep reading" to read the post, or click HERE for some alternative fishy content :)

Anon says: I personally believe that some people need to understand that they are severely addicted to WoX. I understand that it is supposed to be a safe space for many, but people need to understand that sitting behind a screen to be on discord/WoX is not a healthy way to live life. Believe me, most people don't even realise how it drives them to insanity. I think there should be a healthy balance, which most people are missing because they are simply too young to understand. I finally left WoX behind me, but wanted to create this message to show people that life without wox can be equally as fun. Most people you talk to on WoX aren't even your 'real' friends, cruel as it may sound. I talked to MANY people, and now I only have contact with 2. Addictions like these are not even noticed that much. "Oh, but I write so it's not bad." but you are behind your screen for HOURS a day. It's simply not healthy. It can drive you crazy. It can shove you into cliques. It can make you create problems that are, quite frankly, not even real. You get stressed about other people their CHARACTERS, you get stressed about FICTIONAL relationships. You might think it's an escape, and if its simply that, then its great. However, I believe for many people it is becoming a whole new problem and adding more stress on top of the things you tried to run away from. You try to find distractions from home? Well, you managed, but now you have online WoX drama which also drives you insane. Point of this is, please, try to log of every once in a while. Try to find a healthy balance. Life is not WoX. WoX is not life. [submitted by anonymous, no edits made]

As far as addictions go, I'd argue that WoX is one of the least destructive and harmful addictions out there and if you're gonna get caught up in an addiction it's one of the safest addictions to get stuck in. That said, I agree: WoX can easily become an addiction and no matter how harmful or harmless it is, addiction is bad.

obligatory disclaimer: I'm relatively well informed on the subject but I AM NOT AN EXPERT.

I think we need to keep in mind that the WoX demographics mean that we have a lot of users who are at high risk of developing addictions, and we could do more to minimise the risks and encourage healthier practises. Being vulnerable is not a choice and it's not right to blame the users for falling victim to human nature.

Addictions are caused by multiple factors and it's often a symptom of other problems that we don't have the resources to resolve. When we can't fix the problems in our life, the next best option is to take a break from it every once in a while that's when we turn to things that help us escape and forget. It becomes an addiction when we start to rely on it in order to maintain a state of mental wellbeing and perceived functioning, which ironically often means it hinders us from functioning fully in society. The best way to solve addiction is to solve the problems that we're escaping from, and if that's an option that is the best way to go.

If WoX causes you more stress than stress relief, there is reason to be concerned. If the thought of going without WoX for a few days makes you anxious, it might be a good idea to do just that: take a break for a few days. It sucks but it's good for you. But most importantly: do the best you can with the situation you've got. Be kind to yourself and know that it's not your fault, and it's unfair to expect you to figure all this out on your own. Blame and guilt isn't going to help you pull yourself out of an addiction or mental ditch, what you need is a metaphorical rope and a good strategy. Maybe an excavator... It's easier said than done but it's worth doing and in the meanwhile, remember: as far as addictions go you could do a hell of a lot worse than creative writing.

[lemonhemlock]

bg3 anon, answers under the cut for ease of scrolling! 🤝

Anonymous asked:

"you’re right. i think i’ll perhaps do it as a safety check because i don’t intend to be respectful of the bloodsucker twink lmao. i put him in a ridiculous looking outfit and it’s so hard to take him seriously AT ALL i’ll see how it goes. he’s currently leaving me on ‘Seen’ with an approval rating of 3" Darling (pun intended, sorry, couldn't help myself) it's going to be a problem starting his romance if you're still at 3 approval. I would suggest checking the BG3 wiki, it has most of his approvals and disapprovals listed so you could farm them, but that would be way too immersion breaking to be fair as it goes against the beauty of role playing, at least if you are the type who truly immerses oneself like I am...sometimes I can't bring myself doing things I personally want to do it in a game because it would go against the character I am playing...it's super weird lol.

If romancing him doesn't work out maybe you can go with Gale instead? Or why not maybe Shadowheart will grow on you haha By the way I don't know if I mentioned this but to successfully romance the bloodsucker, you need to sleep with him at least once in act 1. You can't start his romance later.

As for ridiculous looking outfits…here's a suggestion you may want to keep in mind: at the start of act 3 there's a circus where you can loot a clown outfit and buy clown makeup. I put everything on Gale personally because why not? However, sadly the only clown in this whole affair was myself considering I spent 5000 gold on making Astarion a fucking statue, which stayed in my camp for the remainder of act 3. And he didn't even comment on it!!! Well at least I didn't go for the naked version of it, but next time I'm definitely choosing to make a statue for my Tav lmao.

"well the wives are the reason i’ve started to play actually, as counter-productive as that sounds 😂 i have a friend who explained the lore to me, so i know most of astarion’s background and what happens with him, though i don’t remember details, of course. she told me how delulu they are in excusing every thing he does, even his insane decision to become the no 1 ascended vampire boss. how they deceive themselves into believing astarion becomes in love with them if they act like complete doormats and go along with whatever fuckass thing he wants, even if the 'detect thoughts’ option clearly indicates that he thinks badly of them :))"

I didn't want to mention the possible ascension because of spoilers but since you know a lot about him already thanks to your friend…yes, it's all true. The ascension wives are the most unhinged subsect of the Astarion fandom. If you let him do it he even becomes abusive if you are in a romance with him and you'll even have to agree to let him turn into his vampire spawn otherwise he'll break up with you (some of the wives 100% believe he turns you into his vampire bride, but obviously there is nothing in the game confirming this, on the contrary, the evidence is quite flimsy). The craziest thing is the wives think YOU are the abusive one for not letting him sacrifice 7000 souls (including children) in a diabolical ritual, a deal with a fucking archdevil in order to let him ascend, because how can you condemn pookie to a possible life without the sun while still feeling a vampire's hunger? They think you are robbing him of his own agency and infantilizing him. Not to mention that once you get rid of the tadpole, he won't even let you break up with him anymore. Like, at all. You have no choice anymore. He outright laughs at you and says "your future is mine to decide." Also, if you break up with him just before he's about to turn you into his spawn he admits he would've used your love for him against you until "you were nothing", that he appreciates you for doing this, saying he didn't think you had it in you (breaking up with him, that is). Oh and since you mentioned playing the game for meme potential, well, here you also have the option to kick him in the balls when he says "on your knees, darling" to your Tav, before he's about to transform them into a vampire. But be careful, he breaks up and leaves the party permanently after doing this to him lmfao (like any Real Man™ would).

But no, the wives won't hear any of this, in fact they blame you for only choosing the confrontational dialogue options and say that if you are nice to him, he doesn't turn abusive. What??? That's not how this works lmao.

Yes, he has all that power, glory and money if he ascends, but at what cost? He totally loses himself and any positive character growth he had is totally gone and nullified by the ascension. Like yeah he does push for ascending, but does he really need it? There is a difference between wanting something (for all the wrong reasons imho, he can be safe and free without doing this as his good ending proves it) and needing something and you as his friend or lover should know better rather than have him give in into his worst impulses. Tbh I think many of these wives genuinely believe that if he says he wants something, you have to do it because how can you deny your boyfriend this "but he said so!!!". Loving someone doesn't mean agreeing with them every single time, that's not how actual relationships work. That's not to say one can't enjoy toxic relationships in fiction, but that's not what these people are doing here, let's be real. He actually approves and genuinely thanks you if you talk him out of ascending, by the way. He says he was not himself back then when he was just about do it and although he did not appreciate it at the time, is now grateful for saving him from himself, that you saw and believed he is enough just way he is, that now he is "truly and honestly free". The game couldn't be more clear about this, the parallels, the foreshadowings are all there from the very beginning but everything completely flew over these people's heads. Sure, he gets sad when he loses the tadpole and can't be in the sun anymore but eventually he embraces the shadows (in a good way this time) and realizes he can be free and happy like this as well.

Did your friend mention the fact that the wives also harassed and stalked one one of his writers for calling this ending the bad one for him? Because they did this. (tbh personally I do think that writer unprofessional in how they expressed their opinion but they still didn't deserve to be harassed for it…and it's also not like the text itself doesn't confirm what they said).

I do feel bad for those who do like his evil ending for what it is without trying to whitewash it because they often end up catching strays thanks to the crazies, like people telling them they'll be abused in real life by their partners because they like this version of Astarion…which is not a nice thing to say to someone even online. On the other hand these wives claim they are genuine villain fuckers, that they love Astarion as evil as he can be, they also claim to love dark romances but then they totally dumb down the toxic elements of the relationship with him and turn it into uwuuu loving evil power couple. Come on…they genuinely insist his bad and evil ending is the GOOD one! Most characters have a good and evil or bad ending yet fans of other companions don't pretend the bad ones are secretly the good ones "for reasons" or "but they said so, they said they wanted it". I've yet to meet a Shadowheart fan who genuinely thinks her bad ending is in fact her good one, for example. Or a Lae'zel fan.

______________________________________________________________

Darling (pun intended, sorry, couldn't help myself) it's going to be a problem starting his romance if you're still at 3 approval.

i shot up to 28 now! 🤙 without basically doing anything evil, apart from letting him feed on Gandrel (but i kept him alive, at least) out of curiosity, i'm going to go back and see if that gained me any approval points or not

I would suggest checking the BG3 wiki, it has most of his approvals and disapprovals listed so you could farm them, but that would be way too immersion breaking to be fair as it goes against the beauty of role playing, at least if you are the type who truly immerses oneself like I am...sometimes I can't bring myself doing things I personally want to do it in a game because it would go against the character I am playing...it's super weird lol.

oh, i am so tempted, but i'm trying to maintain at least a semblance of unpredictability and candor! i totally get not wanting to do smth if the character would be against it

If romancing him doesn't work out maybe you can go with Gale instead? Or why not maybe Shadowheart will grow on you haha By the way I don't know if I mentioned this but to successfully romance the bloodsucker, you need to sleep with him at least once in act 1. You can't start his romance later.

good to know, soldier! 💪i am not refusing any of his (most likely) cringe sex proposals if i can get them 🤡

As for ridiculous looking outfits…here's a suggestion you may want to keep in mind: at the start of act 3 there's a circus where you can loot a clown outfit and buy clown makeup. I put everything on Gale personally because why not?

LOL i have a mod that gave me a clown outfit and i put it on shadowheart 😂 but gale sounds hilarious, too

However, sadly the only clown in this whole affair was myself considering I spent 5000 gold on making Astarion a fucking statue, which stayed in my camp for the remainder of act 3. And he didn't even comment on it!!! Well at least I didn't go for the naked version of it, but next time I'm definitely choosing to make a statue for my Tav lmao.

i was in tears when i read this :))))))))))))))))))) anon, i'm so sorry :)::):):)::):):):):) i can't imagine

i'm fine with letting astarion drain my blood, but i draw the line at spending so much money on his ungrateful arse 😂 priorities 😂

The ascension wives are the most unhinged subsect of the Astarion fandom.

the stories i've heard reveal such a fascinating level of delusion :)) like you said, not being able to accept the distinction between vampire spawn and vampire bride: he tells you (or least i chose that dialogue option) how one can become an actual, full-blown vampire and that no vampire would create a competitor! straight out of his mouth

Not to mention that once you get rid of the tadpole, he won't even let you break up with him anymore. Like, at all. You have no choice anymore. He outright laughs at you and says "your future is mine to decide." Also, if you break up with him just before he's about to turn you into his spawn he admits he would've used your love for him against you until "you were nothing", that he appreciates you for doing this, saying he didn't think you had it in you (breaking up with him, that is).

to think!! i would crawl straight into the depths of the mariana trench 😭 no way is this loser going to pull this level of insolence on mirta

Oh and since you mentioned playing the game for meme potential, well, here you also have the option to kick him in the balls when he says "on your knees, darling" to your Tav, before he's about to transform them into a vampire. But be careful, he breaks up and leaves the party permanently after doing this to him lmfao (like any Real Man™ would).

i puked a little in my mouth 💀

There is a difference between wanting something (for all the wrong reasons imho, he can be safe and free without doing this as his good ending proves it) and needing something and you as his friend or lover should know better rather than have him give in into his worst impulses.

yeah, that's what i was talking with my friend about, that you'd be out of your mind to accept for him to ascend. and, like you said, it would negate any kind of character growth he might have had until then. so far, my friend was able to talk him out of it and he was grateful, whereas my boyfriend didn't have a good enough approval rating so he had to kill him off. very different outcomes!

but neither of them have managed to fuck him so we'll see on which shores the tides of love take us 🤡

Tbh I think many of these wives genuinely believe that if he says he wants something, you have to do it because how can you deny your boyfriend this "but he said so!!!". Loving someone doesn't mean agreeing with them every single time, that's not how actual relationships work.

very well said!

also, i think that maybe in another game, it would matter more towards making him "happy" if you just went along with everything he says, but the game mechanics here are a little different and it's obviously telegraphing hard that this is Not A Good Path

That's not to say one can't enjoy toxic relationships in fiction, but that's not what these people are doing here, let's be real.

exactly, there needs to be a level of awareness here of what the dynamic actually is, not a senile denial of basic power imbalances

Did your friend mention the fact that the wives also harassed and stalked one one of his writers for calling this ending the bad one for him? Because they did this. (tbh personally I do think that writer unprofessional in how they expressed their opinion but they still didn't deserve to be harassed for it…and it's also not like the text itself doesn't confirm what they said).

not yet, i don't think! she just mentioned that they're very weird with the voice actors as well. she sent me a very long and lachrymose tumblr post, bemoaning that his actor showed his discomfort with ascended!astarion fans during a livestream, how unprofessional and hurt they were by this very normal reaction

on a different note, she showed me the post with the life-sized astarion sex doll someone commissioned

I do feel bad for those who do like his evil ending for what it is without trying to whitewash it because they often end up catching strays thanks to the crazies, like people telling them they'll be abused in real life by their partners because they like this version of Astarion…which is not a nice thing to say to someone even online.

of course, you can enjoy even that ending. i can see myself playing with my friends and making the most idiotic choices, howling with laughter. every one has a kind of setup that allows them to revel in the silliness or (why not) the kink-factor of these situations. it's the "convincing yourself this isn't abusive" part that's the issue

On the other hand these wives claim they are genuine villain fuckers, that they love Astarion as evil as he can be, they also claim to love dark romances but then they totally dumb down the toxic elements of the relationship with him and turn it into uwuuu loving evil power couple.

i wanted to highlight this because it's so true and something i've seen in more fandoms as well. i would say that aly$m0nd was a similar case, where a lot of shippers refused to engage with any potentially problematic aspects of their relationship and just pushed a sanitized true love narrative.

I will address the rest all at once without quoting separately since it's faster. Hopefully I didn't miss anything important:

The spear you found in Withers' place is okay for Shadowheart momentarily but it will soon become obsolete as you will find a much better weapon for her just before entering act 2. It's a mace called "The Blood of Lathander" and is located somewhere within the Githyanki Creche (you will have to go there as it's part of Lae'zel quest). Just deal with the giths first and then go and search for the weapon. It's super good for clerics especially and it's one of those weapons that is effective even in act 3 by the end of the game.

I heard about this mace! I will keep an eye out for it. Add it to my list of items I need to find while still in Act 1.

Entering turn based mode is also a good idea when stealing from merchants.

Yeah the weightless consumables mod is a must have. It seems useless now but when you start collecting all kinds of arrows, potions, scrolls, gold you will become encumbered really, really quick.

I'll see how much longer I'll mentally last with loading and unloading all of the crap I pick up. :))

I think you can sneak past Ethel's masked servants, some players managed to do it (perhaps you could try and make everyone invisible?). Personally I fought them as I didn't want to complicate myself by trying to sneak.

Oh yeah, I go more in detail in my last post about my Ethel adventures.

The Ethel point, if not used on your character, might very well go on one of your companions as I may have said in one of my previous asks. If anyone's main stat is still 17 use it to get it to 18. Then use the ability increase feat to even other odd ability points left? Mayrina will be angry with you no matter what you do so don't worry, it will pass.

So, I requested an INT +1. And my plan currently is to summon the ogres when I go to the goblin camp, make sure they die, if not felled by goblins, then by my hand, and pick up the Circlet of Intelligence or whatever it's called. It pumps INT up to 17, I think? I can then dump all of my INT numbers down to the minimum of 8, add Ethel's +1 and I'm up to 18. With a lot of points free to distribute someplace else. If I can get my hands on the Gloves of Dexterity, too, I can almost turn Mirta into a tank. I feel that secretly she longs for the bloodsong of the battlefield, but is keeping real quiet about it. :))

Nice that you persuaded the ogres to fight for you!!

You got the necromancy book? That's great. Buuuut you might have wanted to take Astarion with you as he has an interest in it. Giving it to him will also grant A LOT of approval (10 points I believe?) which is desirable since you want to romance him. And no, he won't do anything funny with it, the book will be safe in his hands. I mentioned in a previous ask about trusting and agreeing with some of his less insane suggestions, well, this is one of them.

Thank you so much for this suggestion! I wouldn't have known otherwise. There are a lot of details or paths in this game that you could easily miss, some of them very random!

As for your latest incident I should've mentioned that trusting him to NOT drain you dry isn't a good idea lol. I'm sorry once again however it's still extremely funny what he did to poor Mirta. At least she punched him!!

She's in her emo princess era currently. No time like the present to bust out the intense eye makeup!

After you are done with all the side quests in the area you can go to the goblin camp and do what's needed to be done there without needing to kill ALL of them. Rescue Halsin if you want to (he is a nice guy but a boring character overall and the bear sex stunt turned me off his character a bit I fear) and kill the goblin leaders. Not sure if you know, but one of their leaders (Minthara) can be recruited later in act 2 if you knock her out. So no killing - so don't use spells and ranged weapons on her if you want her to survive and have her in your party eventually.

Yeah, the bear sex I honestly find hilarious. I'm going to try to recruit as many as I can, because free labour and help? Why not? Though I'm not sure I can have both Minthara and Halsin in my camp (apparently they can't stand each other?). My bf said I had to choose, but I wonder if I can't get those two crazy cats to get along with my high CHA.

You may want to expose Kagha and the shadow druids before doing the goblin camp.

Good to know, thanks!

This is weird, when it comes to dialogues you should have the possibility to select the Friends cantrip in the bonus section before you roll the dice. It should be there near Shadowheart's guidance. Once you select it two dices will show up on your screen, then the dice with the higher number will be taken into consideration. You may have a bug if it doesn't show up. But yes other than dialogues, there's not much practicality for it.

You're right about that, I will reconsider the Friends cantrip later on maybe. I imagine I get more cantrip slots as I progress.

Also, if you want access to the Guidance cantrip, there is a necklace that grants you this spell so you won't need to drag Shadowheart around you. (a short video with the location so I don't have to explain it to you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_abMisavwU )

This would be so useful, thank you very much!!! V excited about this!

Yep, Dancing Lights disarming traps and vents is apparently a thing which I found out quite late in the game. I always threw stones and random weapons at vents to cover them and then I had Astarion disarm them and any other traps.

As for lightning and ice spells or cantrips: Shocking Grasp and Ray of Frost are the only cantrips available, but you may want to look into spells. I know the temptation is to not spend your spell slots and focus on cantrips since you can cast them endlessly but trust me, sometimes you'll have to use spells. Once you hit level 5 you'll begin to have access to other cool lightning and ice spells. Lightning Bolt and Glyph of Warding (this one lets you choose the type of damage you will deal and both ice and lightning are available - Shadowheart as a cleric will also have access to this spell) and on later levels there are even more cool ones. You probably missed this one but on early levels there is also Chromatic Orb which is similar to the Glyph.

Oh, yeah, I do use spells, too, but you never know when you might need an elemental cantrip you can cast without limit.

The only items Gale can eat will have a text written under them that should say something like "Gale can absorb this item". He has standards, he won't eat just anything!

Too bad I didn't figure that one out sooner, but no real harm done!

Not you giving Gale the Dancing Lights amulet. You are right that it is redundant but it has sentimental value since it's from Arabella's parents. How could you???

The bard hat must be worn by a bard, even if you gain that ability from Alfira it won't work on your character. Bards, depending on their current level, have a number of "Bardic Inspiration Poins" which are similar to cleric's Guidance cantrip and will grant other party members bonuses when they roll their dices. Some of their attack actions are also dependent on this system and may cost bardic inspiration points. If you don't intend to respect someone into a bard or use multiclass (a feature that's not available on your difficulty level anyway) on a party member, then the hat will be useless and Gale can eat it.

Oh.... Well, it was worth a shot. I did look goofy while wearing it. Gave it to Gale after all.

Gloves of uncommon power? Did you mean gloves of power? They are fine on Lae'zel or maybe even better on Astarion due to the Sleight of Hand +1 bonus. You could give them to Gale and then buy the Gloves of Thievery for Astarion from the Zhentarim merchant (I think you need to deliver the shipment from the caravan to them without opening it in order to have access to them and other cool items from full inventory).

These names sort of blend into each other after a while. :)) I'm writing down the Gloves of Thievery, thanks. :))

thank you for the Magnus Archives podcast link!

You're very welcome, I hope you liked the episode!

Anonymous asked:

"lmao anon don't worry! i genuinely did it for the lols at least i got him to an 18 approval rating for me, more than karlach, lae'zel OR gale somehow (motherfucker, and this is AFTER i gave him an artefact to consume)" Thanks the gods lol, I was surprised a bit since most players did not genuinely trust him to not do something stupid. The fact that you have options to make him stop is enough of a warning imho, the game is pretty much like "are you sure about trusting him, hmm?".

Tell me about it, but you can't really think clearly with vampire fangs down your neck, right? ☠

And how did you manage to have fucking Gale at a lower approval lmao, now I feel stupid for suggesting in my other message to go for him instead if you can't manage to romance the vampire. Gale and Shadowheart were the only ones I managed to have much high numbers compared to Astarion, and quite early on. Karlach was the hardest for me, followed by Lae'zel.

I'll have to check how I stand with them in this post-Ethel administration! 💪 Shadowheart and Wyll are quite keen on me.

"i'm glad he's fucking "happy", what can i say 🤡 maybe now we're not going to fail every perception check in ethel's cave at least. we're going TODAY so i can benefit from this bonus (i did work my arse off for if after all!)" From now on up until the end of the game you can use his bite ability on enemies when in combat and he will gain the "Happy" condition each time, including the +1 bonus. Alternatively, you can also have Mirta become his willing blood bag and invite him to feed on her each night or so lol & the following morning he will gain the condition that way as well, but I think letting him feed on enemies is better.

Yeah, I can imagine the blood bank fics, 😅 but, unfortunately (or fortunately for the sane ones amongst us), Mirta would wake up with some of her abilities depleted at the cost of Astarion's boosts. And that doesn't really work for her since she's discovered her own penchant for dueling after her brush with death. How can she take all that damage enemies frontload on her in combat otherwise? 💬

A fun happening which I forgot to mention previously but there is this Rha*nicent fan art that's been living rent free in my head ever since I saw it back in august (link: https://x.com/kknoahh/status/1825991659835867357) with short haired Rha*nyra, who I genuinely thought to be…Astarion at first. I was like who the fuck started to ship Alicent with him lmao, like can you imagine this crackship.

Oh my goodness, Rhaenyra really does look like him. 😳 Alicent really out there catching all strays and being shipped with anyone with the slightest potential of becoming psychosexually obsessed with her. :))

Have fun at the birthday party!!

Thanks so much, it was nice to go out and see my friends!

Anonymous asked:

Well, Gale isn't in a position to criticize Astarion for hiding his true nature, to be fair. You'll find out soon enough when he confesses the full truth about his condition and why he really needs to consume all those magical artefacts. I don't remember if the rest of your companions have something to say each time after you give items to Gale to eat but after you feed him for the third and final time they should have something to say if you click on them, at least those who are in your active party at the time (again, no exclamation mark will show up above them).

This tip has proven very useful and I always make sure to check on them at the end of the day and after I hit long rest. Most of them did comment on Gale some way the other, but NONE of them had ANYTHING to day that the leech spawn KILLED ME. Forsooth!

Astarion will be like "who would hide something like this from his friends? you can't trust anyone this days", which is quite hilarious considering Gale was more understanding lol.

This line is even funnier if you think he's being self-aware while saying it. :))

I may offer you a hint that won't spoil anything: make a quicksave to be sure just in case and then use Astarion's bite ability on Gale. You'll see that something is wrong with the guy… ;)

He did ask me whose blood I'd suck, which was quite hilarious, and insisted I'd answer. :)) I picked Gale for the lols, hoping it would trigger what you said, but nothing happened. I guess fang boy abides by our deal and keeps to hunting animals? Who would have thought? But maybe I'll try to bite Gale tonight, to see what he does.

Unfortunately, backgrounds don't matter so much, Tav is pretty much a blank slate. You get some specific skill proficiencies and maybe some unique dialogue options here and there but other than that? Pretty much nothing, except for also receiving inspiration points. It's really a missed opportunity and one of my main criticisms of the game, there are plenty of occasions in the game where your background could've been taken into into consideration. You actually gave a good example about perhaps being allowed into spaces common born people aren't, but unless I missed something, nothing like this happens. You even meet Baldurian nobles in act 3 and you have no dialogue options with any of them when normally you should've been familiarized with at least some of them, being a noble yourself. Two of your possible companions, Wyll and Minthara, are of noble birth as well and you can't have a noble to noble conversation with them (you have a noble dialogue option with Minthara but only if you play as a drow noble, other races aren't acknowledged and as far as I can recall, Wyll has no specific dialogue for other nobles).

That's unfortunate. It would have been a great addition. Like, I imagine noble characters could start out with more coin in their pockets or that common-borns could have streets smarts (survival proficiency) or knowledge about the local flora or fauna or small settlements. I sometimes have dialogue with people about aspects my tav should already be aware of, even general world-building stuff, like fellow races or just current events. :))

Also, it's rather annoying to be playing a Baldurian character but they're seemingly unaware of anything going on in Baldur's gate. For example, Mirta should have been aware of Cazador, I feel? At the very least that there's a coven of vampires in her home city and that no one is doing anything about it. :)) Or just generally question Astarion's magistrate background.

Good luck with Ethel!!

Thank you! Whole other post below on my hag struggles. :)

[the-lion-guard-88]

Am I allowed to ask what the drama was with you? One of my friends(they like smg like you! :D), they just gave me your user and said to block you, but didn't respond when I asked why.

I read your lil intro an you seem nice. What's the deal with everything?

It’s a long story but I’ll explain it via a message I said to someone else regarding this whole thing

So back in 2021 I was a very obsessed SMG3 simp and may have been a little too over the top with simping for him, I would make $3x jokes and all in which it made people feel uncomfortable, now there was a time where things went down, someone said they were “Going to make me 🥜 from 3 without saying a single word”, the things is, I thought I did, but I didn’t, I said I did, but I didn’t because I had only known the word from WOTFI 2021, this whole ordeal happened a little less than a month after WOTFI 2021, I realize what it means now and apologized for anything I did wrong, it was all an accident but they don’t believe me and irdc, I also once made a chapter in a story with elements of r4p3 because I was inspired by another SMG4 story creator who added the same thing but I realized that it wasn’t a good idea so I deleted the story and promised to never do it again, then about a year later, the day after Christmas of 2022 people were talking about me on X or whatever and made a doc about me in which it caused me to feel bad, even made me think $u1c1d4l, however the people online accused me of faking my thoughts, so fast forward to 2023 in August, I had a crush on a girl by the name of YellowCaballeroFan who had been my friend since October 14th, 2021, I asked her out and she accepted, however exactly 4 months later she said she lied about her feelings and said she pretended the whole time, this caused me to be heartbroken, I told her that I didn’t want to do the game we played every day because I needed a break from her since she basically dumped me and that was when she started showing remorse for her lying, she said she lied but then started saying she didn’t lie; lying again, I told her that the next time she says she didn’t lie that I’d unfriend her, she said it again, I unfriended her, then she admitted she lied, then we were friends again, or so I thought, now in the RPG game she would constantly make SMG4 and SMG3 have $3x in almost every single RP session we had, I got uncomfortable and snapped out of it wondering why I didn’t report her sooner, I reported her and she got banned on Roblox for one day, she got banned 3 times and she said she never knew why she got banned but it was because she was being $3xu4l in the RPG, note that she’s 20 years old and we started this RPG when she was 17 and I was 14, now more to this, I was in the SMG4 Discord Server when I met someone, they wish to be anonymous, me and them would joke around about SMG3 because we both simped for him, now this was where I made a mistake, I said that the three of us could have a thr33$0m3 but I never knew the proper definition of what it was, I thought it was three people dating and not three people doing “it”, the reason this went out is because I made a comment about race swapping SMG3 and people in general because I thought it was wrong and everyone there was calling me racist because I said SMG3 was white, by this I meant his skin color but people thought I meant the race white, I’m fully aware that SMG3 is Asian, but I didn’t mean the race white, I meant the skin color, so then the person who made a big deal about it decided to post it on X and say I’m all racist or whatever and then the whole thing with the thr33$0m3 went out and now people are saying I’m a p3d0ph1l3, the thing is, I’m not even an adult and the person in question was 2-3 years below me, so I’m confused on how I can be portrayed as a p3d0ph1l3 when I’m not even an adult, and now people were accusing my friend of p3d0ph1l14 when he’s been trying to stop YellowCaballeroFan from making SM3 x Enzo content because SM3 is a p3d0 and Enzo wishes to not be involved in SMG4, she also ships FM and X when FM wishes to not be shipped with X, now there is the doc by the person of Yubel198 where she says I’m a narcissist but she supports YellowCaballeroFan and her gross actions, she says I’m a p3d0 yet she supports YellowCaballeroFan basically gr00m1ng me during those SMG34 $3xu4l roleplays

I can’t add everything from that message in due to the character limit but I’ve been trying to apologize for anything I’ve done, true or not, I’m trying to be someone better, I just want it all to stop, I understand if you block me, I really do, but that’s my side of the story and I’m trying to fix things I did whether they’re true or not

[hongjoongscafe]

But I Still Won

Drabble

D.6 {serieslist}

Pairing: idol!seonghwaxphotographer!reader(jihyun) (Jihyun is an imaginary person. I am not shipping anybody here. I just like this name.)

Genre: smut, fluff, angst.

Summary: she didn't expect to get fucked by her idol... Well, it still happened.

Warnings: detail mentions of sex.

Note: poll for the next part is given at the end.

Piz, do leave answers! This fiction is based on your response so plz do write! You are going to be anonymous. I won't know who is responding.

Word count: 715

Masterpost

*DO NOT REPOST, PLS*

“Um, Jihyun?” the head videographer called the moment she stepped into the office. 

“Yeah?” she looked at him with her eyebrows raised. 

“Jeremy is on leave…” he checked the documents in his hands. 

“Okay…?” she waited for him to complete.

“So I think we need to fill his space up,” he looked at her through his glasses. “He was set up with Seonghwa.”

Okay, now her heartbeat skipped a beat. But not in a good way. “And?”

“Lauren filled up the space,” she let out a sigh of ease. “But she will be signing up with San. They have both been friends for a long time. So, you gotta go with Seonghwa. He is at his apartment. You can leave, the address is in this,” he passed her a folder. 

Jihyun’s heart dropped and fell out of her ass. “Why do I have to do that?! Can't she go with him?” 

“I'm afraid not. They both have known each other since middle school. I can't separate two besties,” he gave her a pitiful smile and a shoulder shrug. “Just a matter of a few days.”

…

“Damn, did you ask them to change your assigned member?” Seonghwa smirked when he saw Jihyun standing outside his apartment with many pieces of camera equipments that were almost falling off of her grasp. 

He moved away from the door without helping her out. “Why would I throw the axe on my own feet,” she whispered and rolled her eyes. 

“I heard that,” he sang. 

She rolled her eyes harder. 

It was all wrong. She was supposed to be with San and not Seonghwa. She hated him with every single brain cell of hers. But it was not too obvious that she couldn't run away from this commitment. She didn't go through all of the hard work just to drop it all because of one fuck boy. 

“Just admit that it's your doing,” she sighed and shook her head. It was definitely him who carried out such a scheme. 

“What?” He looked at her like an innocent.

Jihyun rolled her eyes for the nth time. “It was you who made Jeremy go on leave and made Lauren go with San!” 

“The fuck are you talking about?” he came closer, not following what she was saying. 

“You set everything up so that you could have me or well, more specifically, a good pussy!”

He scoffed. “I didn't do anything, okay? The next day I thought that it was a stupid idea to make you work with me.”

“Then make Lauren work with you!” she pointed towards no one.

Suddenly, he was back to being a bitch.

“Now,” he smirked and moved even closer, “why would I let an opportunity to have a good pussy go? Hm?” his fingers brushed the waistband of your skirt. “Lauren’s is not good. Quite loose, to be honest.”

She flinched back, knowing very well that this will lead to sins. He always found a way to lure her with his magic. 

“Wouldn't you want to get fucked by me?” too close. His lips were brushing her earlobe. “Don't you like it when my dick rubs your clit? All I wanna do right now is tear these good-for-nothing clothes and bent you over the counter and fuck your dumb. Wanna make your pussy cum on my dick without any break. Wanna make you squirt rivers just by flicking your swollen clit. Would be so great to make you hop on my cock, your whore cunt pulsing around my dick. Fuck. Those boobs against the windows, everyone can see how much of a whore you are and will let anyone with money fuck you,” her pussy clenched around nothing. She was already giving up on her toughness. 

“I will thrust harder than ever to make you cream my cock and then make you lick it clean for me. Wouldn't you do that? Lick me off,” he grunted. His hand found its way inside her skirt, finger too close to her heat–

*Ding Dong*

“Fuck!” he cursed under his breath and got away from her to see who was at the door. 

Jihyun’s chest was heaving for air. Her head was feeling light and messy. Why was she so weak to let this happen? 

“I can't do this.”

..…

The behaviour of all the characters is visualized.

Taglist:

@veneziamadness @cheline @sansmilkbread @jayb17 @constantlydelulusional @8tinytings @tea4sykes ; @jhmylove; @nanibecute

*lemme know if you wanna be added to the permanent or specific taglist*

*original pictures are not mine, I just edited them*

Results of the previous poll:

(Jihyun gets assigned to someone else because Jeremy got sick)

Link to the new poll:

Have a nice day/night💓

[drop--pop--candy]

STRAWBERRIES AND CREAM...my friend, i am so flattered. i love strawberries and cream ʚ₍ᐢ ›̥̥̥ ༝ ‹̥̥̥ ᐢ₎ɞ especially in sando. not to ramble, but it reminds me of my first time in japan, when i was younger and would beg my parents to buy a strawberry sando from the closest konbini in the mornings as my breakfast. when i returned for a brief time last year, i finally got to eat a strawberry sando again for the first time in...five years? i got all teary because it'd been such a long time since i ate one; i'd changed, but the taste of strawberries, cream, and pillowy bread hadn't. it meant a lot to me. thus, strawberries and cream mean a lot to me.

i know you probably didn't mean to strike a chord—you were just expressing your honest feelings—but i thank you for sharing anyways :'> that's going to sit with me for a bit. in a good way! i'm glad you said it; even if other people have said those kinds of comments are weird, i truly appreciated it ♡🍓 so please don't worry about rambling. i want to hear every word!

although we haven't talked much, i can tell you're a very precious sort of person, and it kind of pains me that i can't become mutuals with you without breaking my (well-intentioned) ruse. but that means we can make this into a game—if you're up for it!

here's my pitch: you can do your own private sleuthing whenever you feel like it, and when you have a suspect as to which blog is mine, you'll send them a simple message on anon: "hi," with a certain emoji of your choosing! just hi + emoji. if it's not me, then they'll just think it's someone being friendly and reply accordingly. but if it is me, then i'll know, because we negotiated this code. i'll recognize that it's game over for me, and i'll respond saying that you caught me. and once you've caught me, then i'll follow you and we can become mutuals ! got it? you can confirm your emoji in your reply, if you want to play this game with me.

i'm the type of person that likes games and deception and other such things, but i know that's not for everyone. if you're not up to it for any reason, feel free to say no ^_^ games are the most fun when everyone is enjoying them, and i don't want you to feel, like, agonized over trying to figure me out. in the meantime, i'll keep chatting with you whether we play the game or not!

erm. i'm only now realizing that all this game talk might be kind of creepy, what with my anonymous nature and all. my apologies! it's just that i don't usually have the opportunity to do this kind of thing, LOL. i just think it could be a fun way to shake up our tumblr experience.

thank you again for being so patient with me. i never mean to talk *this much* when sending these asks to you, but i started and now we're here. i'm glad to share my joy with you, and even more glad and grateful that you appreciate it, like sharing in it, and are kind enough to entertain me with a response. as fun as receiving long asks can be, i know they're a trudge to get through and even more of a hassle to respond to in full when you're tired. so thank you thank you thank you for receiving my messages so warmly! i can already tell we're at the start of a good friendship!

♡, sylvie

that's a lovely story!! i definitely did not know i was going to strike a chord like that lmao but i'm glad i did :D

the game sounds fun!! and dw i don't think the idea is creepy lol. i'm just a little worried it will like,,, upset people?? like idk i feel it would trigger my paranoia a bit if i got an anon ask with an uncommon emoji attached to it?? idk maybe that's just me

i'm glad you reached out to me like this :D reading these asks has been super fun, and not at all a chore to respond to!! they take me a while sometimes but they're fun nonetheless :3

[galactidiot]

In honor of pride month, I wanna share a personal story. (Yes, this will be a serious post. Full story after the cut, I am begging you to please read fully.)

For those who don't already know, I am a Christian, and am active in my church. I am also the token straight in a very, very fruity friend group. Being surrounded in both environments, my heart breaks for my friends and all that they go through.

But there's one thing that happened recently that gives me hope, and here it is:

My youth group just finished a study on Christian Sex and Dating (yeah, every youth group's gotta have it eventually). Towards the end, there was an anonymous Q&A night, where we could write in whatever questions we had that we might be to embarrassed to ask out loud.

My youth leader pulls the next question, and I immediately had to brace myself for what I knew was coming in my Very Southern Baptist Youth Group.

"What does God think of gay people?"

But, the expected did not happen. Instead he answered,

"The first thing I wanna say, the first thing off the top of my head, is that God loves them. They're made in His image, they're worthy and deserving of honor, and kindness, and RESPECT."

He REALLY stressed that word. My (very neurodivergent) youth leader occasionally goes on passionate rants when we hit a topic he really cares about, and his tone said we were headed straight into one.

I, unfortunately, can't directly quote the rest of what he said, since my memory is not that great. Had I known what he was going to say, I would've pulled out my phone and recorded it on the spot.

To summarize, though, he continued rambling for several minutes, mentioning his friends in the LGBT community,his experiences, emphasizing that, surprise surprise, they're people like everyone else, who could've guessed.

He did indeed end up touching on theology, what the Bible says on homosexuality, the things you'd expect.

That lasted for 60 seconds, tops. Next? Rant #2, how the church has done them wrong, how WE have sinned, how we have shunned them and hurt them and not shown them the love that Jesus would. How we should do better, can do better, MUST do better.

In a Conservative Southern Baptist Youth Group, when asked what God thought of gay people, my youth leader went on a rant for almost fifteen minutes without stopping, talking theology, theology on LOVE, on KINDNESS, on gentleness, on honor, on being God's hands and feet.

I started crying then and there. I've told this story five times, and I still tear up. Why? I've been in church all my life and in almost two decades of sermons and bible studies and passionate rants,

That was the first time I'd ever heard anybody say that from a pulpit.

That should not be the church. Almost twenty years, that's the first time I heard that? No. He's right, we can change, we MUST change. For His glory, for His Kingdom, we need to love with our dying breaths.

If you hear nothing else from this post, this is what I want the takeaway to be:

If you're a Christian: Please, love like Jesus loved. Do it all the time, but this month especially. Put aside your "I can't support that"s and your "I disagree with that"s. Don't draw lines, just love.

If you're LGBT: I love you, God loves you, you are worthy and deserving of love. The church is a hospital full of broken people, and they act like they're well. They do not speak for us, let our God speak for us. You are beautiful, you are cherished, you are loved.

Happy pride month.

[jolo987654321]

I cheated on the person I love most

I cheated on my ex last year. I thought I had a good reason. She is definitely a good person but we had so much differences. I am more of a goal-oriented person and she isn't. I get extremely frustrated that my financial goals aren't being met because she likes going out too much and a bunch of too many things piled up (her family is too demanding from her so I had to support her too much, her way of living is too expensive, etc.). I also had one "non-negotiable" which is never physically hurt me because I have childhood traumas from being beaten by my father. Last year she broke that "non-negotiable" twice. And the second time she slapped me, I slapped her back. That's when I started to rethink our relationship hard. I didn't want a relationship where we can hurt each other physically during fights. But I loved her too much still that i couldn't bring myself to break up with her.

So we had an agreement. I would go back to my province and let her live alone in the city where she would have to live by her own means. It didn't end up well. She ended up going back with me to the province because she can't live the way she wants to live with her current salary and I ended up supporting her financially all over again.

I ended up cheating on her with a random girl just so we can break up. I admitted to her that I cheated right after it happened. I thought I cant break up with her through traditional means because we will just make-up.

Now to the question if I regret it..

This is the only thing I have done in my whole life that I regret. It broke her so much. It might be selfish to say but it broke me as well seeing her breaking apart. There will never be a good excuse to cheat. I know a lot of people will get mad at me but whatever hurtful thing you want to say to me, I say it to myself everyday in the mirror. I realized when I lost her that all the goals I was trying so hard to achieve was not for me, but for her. I have achieved my financial, fitness and career goals this year without her. But it all means nothing because I can no longer share it with her. I realized that the reason I was trying so hard to be all those things is to be a better man for her. I just forgot the reason because we have been together for so long. And now she's gone forever. Thinking back, the things she did wasn't even that bad. We could've fixed everything if only I didn't cheat.

I want to chase her back so bad but I know she is too good for me. I can never be that person for her. And I promise myself that I will never be with another woman. I will love her from afar. Even when she gets married, she will still have a special place in my heart that no one can ever fill. Everyday I wake up just wanting to apologize. It's almost a year now and it still hurts like yesterday. And I know I deserve it.

so please.. please don't cheat. Dont tell your relationship problems to your friends. They will only see the person's bad side. But only you will know the sacrifices she or he does for you. I learned the hard way. And I'm rightfully suffering every single day. And I can only open it up anonymously because I know this just sounds so hypocritical.

[nomatterthestorm]

Recovering from being cheated on. I feel sick to my stomach. Haven’t ate for the past two days. I remembered I talk to you often on here anonymously. Besides me I like seeing your réponses to other ppl. Looking for way to distract myself and find healthy entertainment.

Words honestly cannot express how sorry I am that you’re going through that. When I first moved out of my mom's place, I moved in with a woman who was adamant about us getting a place together when I finished school mainly because it was financially beneficial for both of us but partially when considered in retrospect was more beneficial for her. My mom had reservations and wanted me to move into my own place alone but when I talked to the woman at the time about what my mom thought she guilt-tripped me into moving in with her anyways. We were together for a year and a half before moving in and our relationship lasted 2 years in total. It deteriorated when we lived together and she didn’t want to try and make it better then the pandemic happened and she started working from home and then eventually got laid off. All the problems we faced in our relationship could no longer be avoided. I worked really hard to better our communication and figure out how to designate tasks between us as far as household responsibilities so that neither she nor I would feel taken advantage of in our home. She ended up cheating on me anyways and I found out the day she broke up with me “to figure herself out” because she was so insistent on us splitting everything 50/50 despite me being able to pay for everything it took 3 months for her to move out. I had to lay my head next to her for weeks until I eventually couldn't take being next to such a terrible person and started sleeping in my living room and eventually moved out of my apartment for the last month because it was such a toxic environment. (I was going to work seeing patients die almost daily-weekly while trying to put on a smiling face while going through hell every day internally and not being able to even feel peace when I went home) The day I found out she cheated I confronted her and she lied to my face and told me she would never and that she loved me so dearly, then I showed her the texts and she then said she was so sorry and would never do it again only to find her texting pictures the same guy later that night and proceeded to tell him I was some bum ex that was living in her couch because I had run out of luck. Cheaters will try and turn you into a hollowed shell of yourself by slowly disposing of all of the goodness you have in yourself. DO NOT ALLOW THEM TO WIN. I couldn’t fathom the thought of true happiness again after that, but my family and friends were there for me, I took time to learn to love myself and experience life alone, I eventually met the love of my life who I lost at some point but have recently reconnected with again in a turbulent time in my life. I’m not saying you need to find love again to feel whole but essentially what I’m trying to say is they’ve already taken your joy away once, every day you allow them to continue taking is a day you sacrifice your own happiness and potential for true satisfaction. Guard your heart but don’t lock it away. Your love is what defines you, you cannot allow the mistakes of another to break you. This all may not make sense now but someday when you climb out of the depths of despair, the sun will be there. I use Tumblr as a point of reference, I document my heartbreaks and deeply emotional moments here to later look back and remind myself “wow I’ve really been through some shit, I’m so proud of myself for not giving up”. Who knows someone like you may see your notes and reach out as you did for me and that one person can make all the difference. I know you and others have helped me so much without me even knowing your names, and that speaks volumes.

[queen-of-the-vampires]

Don’t Mess With The Queen

Characters: Klaus Mikaelson x Hybrid!Reader

Word count: ~1.7k

Warnings: none

Request by anonymous: Could u do a imagine where the reader is friends with the mystic falls gang and is a werewolf and finds out that she and klaus r mates?

Summary: People who you want to call your friends are planning on killing the love of your life. It’s your job to show them who’s really the boss.

Author’s Note: This is a female!reader. I did change this request a tad, but I hope you like it! I haven’t written for TVD in a while now, so please bear with me on this. After asking a few people, I have decided to end this on a fluffy note. I did write an angsty alternate ending, but I don’t know if the anon who requested wanted that or not.

No one knows why you’re really here. They all think you’re their friend, so they feel comfortable disclosing their plan right in front of you. You want to be friends with them because they seem like genuinely nice people, but they are so fueled by rage and revenge that they’ll do anything to get it… even plotting against your mate, your sire, the love of your life.

Stefan and Damon have spent their entire life fighting each other and putting their noses in places where it doesn’t belong. Elena and Caroline have always been the people who want to fix others, to make them better even if there is nothing wrong with them. Bonnie is always stuck in the middle of everyone’s problems, putting herself and others in danger for no reason.

“So, what’s the plan here?” Elena asks, taking out the last bit of weapons she has stashed in the Boarding House.

“First thing we need to do is pick a location. When is Klaus most vulnerable?” Stefan asks.

“Yeah, the last time we did that, Elijah betrayed us. That moonrock or whatever was our only chance to get him at his weakest.”

“You were one of Klaus’ bitches. What do you think?” Damon asks and turns to you.

“What?” you ask, pulling back from your own thoughts.

“You spent over two years sired to him before Tyler saved you. You must know things that can help here,” Elena says.

What she says is true. You were sired to Klaus for two years, but not in the way they believe. You were sired to him in the beginning when you were first turned by Klaus’ mother. You were a werewolf that was in the same village as Klaus and his family. You two became fast friends, always leaning on each other whenever his abusive father and your abusive mother decided to make you two their toys.

Everything was going fine until one of your own decided to kill the youngest member of the Mikaelson family. There was a family friend of Esther, Tatia, that she used her blood in a spell that would make them the Original vampires. Klaus wanted you to have the same thing, so without his parents knowing, he gave you some of that wine. You were the first-ever turned hybrid that came from a spell.

You and Klaus have spent every moment together ever since. What the gang of Mystic Falls doesn’t know is just how old you are. They think you were just another hybrid that he made with Elena’s blood, stuck with him against your will. Tyler found your pack in the mountains and proceeded to unsire every single one of Klaus’ hybrids. When Tyler got to you, that’s when you started to catch onto what he was doing.

If Tyler wanted to desperately to save you, then you were going to act like you wanted to be saved. You came to Mystic Falls and befriended the vampires in the town. Now, they all think that you hate Klaus as much as they do when really, you’re just as in love with him as you were when you first met him.

“He really liked hiding out in the woods, though, they’re usually on werewolf territory, so good luck trying to get there. It’s probably why you can never find him. The werewolves will get to you before he does. He hears chatter in the wind and he moves to another pack site.”

“That’s smart,” Caroline comments.

“Yeah, so you’re not going to find him there.”

“Guys, we need to figure out something, or else more people are going to get hurt,” Elena says. Sometimes, you really want to kill her so you don’t have to hear her speak. “Klaus needs to die.”

Hearing them talk about killing the love of your life enrages you a little bit. You could take every single person in here without breaking a sweat, but you don’t turn to violence just yet. You take out your phone to let Klaus know exactly what they’re planning. You’d be a bad girlfriend if you let them attack without warning him.

They’re planning on killing you, my love.

It’s cute if they think they can.

They seem hell-bent on figuring it out.

I’m not afraid of them if that’s what you’re worried about. They can’t hurt me even with their best player.

I’m worried someone is going to get very hurt. What should I tell them?

Tell them where I am. Let them come. If it’s a war they want, I’m only happy to provide.

Are you sure?

I’m always sure, love.

You put your phone away and look at the small group, getting up to join the elite circle.

“I do know where Klaus lives.”

“That would have been nice to know a little earlier, don’t you think?” Damon sneers.

“Damon, don’t,” Stefan butts in. “Where is he?”

“New Orleans. That place is crawling with witches and vampires, but he and his family are stationed there.”

“How do you know this?”

“Because he took me there once. The witches will know once you arrive, but most of them are scared of Klaus anyway that they’ll help you blend in. Everyone from that town knows the Mikaelsons are royalty, but their castle doesn’t have a lot of guards protecting it. If you want to get to him, that’s where you want to do it.”

“How do you know all of this? This seems awfully suspicious for someone who isn’t sired to him anymore.”

“He still thinks I am. He’ll call me every day and ask for something. He figures if he has a hybrid in another state that I can do his dirty work for him elsewhere. You want to get Klaus? That’s how you’re going to do it.”

“She does have a point. Better to take this fight to his turf than ours. He’s more comfortable there,” Stefan points out.

Now that they know a location, it didn’t take long for them to come up with a plan of attack. Of course, you told everything to Klaus as soon as you were on the plane to get to New Orleans. He told you not to worry about a thing because he’ll plan a little something for their arrival.

No one messes with the King and his Queen.

When you land in New Orleans, the gang is eager to carry out their plan of attack. Just like you said, the town is crawling with witches who sense you the minute you landed. Every single witch knows you by heart, so they’re confused why you’re with them and not with Klaus. Your love must have only told them the basic information instead of what was really going on.

“Okay, where is this son of a bitch?” Damon asks.

“The French Quarter is where he likes to hang out. You’ll want to start there. Caroline and Elena will blend in more since they’ve never been here, but you two might stick out like a sore thumb. Just be prepared. If anything, I know these guys so let me do the talking.” You pause right in front of the group and turn to Bonnie. “And Bonnie? These guys know you’re a Bennett witch. Try not to do magic unless absolutely necessary. Klaus has a thing with witches.”

You lead the group into the French Quarter while keeping your head down to avoid conflict. The group follows your lead until you reach the middle of the place you call home.

“Stay here,” you say and leave the group on your own.

You approach the small bar within the Quarter, and lean over the counter a tad, looking at the bartender.

“Is Klaus here?”

“I’m right here,” you hear your lover’s voice. You and the Mystic Falls gang turn to see him standing in one of the many doorways that enter the French Quarter. “I hear you’re looking for me?”

“Where in the world did you hear that?” Damon asks, giving you a side glare. You step away from the group and speed over to Klaus, standing just a tad behind him. He smirks and doesn’t break eye contact with the older brother. “Traitor.”

“It isn’t a betrayal if I was never on your side to begin with,” you state.

“What are you doing? You’re not sired to him anymore,” Stefan tries to appeal to you.

“My sire bond wore off in the tenth century. I’m a lot older than you think I am. I really did want to be your friend, but you’re all so driven by rage and revenge that you can’t leave us alone until we’re fixed to the standards set by you. Next time you plan to kill someone, you should think twice about who you let into your home.”

“We should get going,” Elena whispers.

“Always the level-headed one, Elena. Too bad you can’t,” Klaus grins.

Stefan and Damon try to leave using their vampire speed, but they are blocked by the spell put there from the witches in this town. It’s like a big spell to trap the four vampires and the one witch inside. Caroline steps into the sun and immediately screams in pain, seeking the shade to calm her burning skin.

“My daylight ring isn’t working.”

“Yes, you’re all trapped here. For how long is still yet to be determined. Welcome to the French Quarter ladies and gentlemen,” Klaus chuckles.

“I can’t use my magic,” Bonnie panics.

“The next time you even think about going after Klaus, I won’t be so nice,” you say.

Klaus wraps an arm around your shoulders and pulls you close, whispering something into your ear.

“Pardon us, we have other business to tend to.”

Klaus leads you away from the group, and only when you two are alone, does he turn you so that you’re facing him.

“You can relax, Klaus, no one is going to hurt you. Not as long as I am alive.”

“I can take care of myself, love,” he chuckles.

“Yeah, but isn’t it better when I do it?”

“Tenfold.”

“Always and forever, my love,” you whisper.

You lean in and press your lips to his, showing him just how much you love him.

wanna be tagged? add yourself to this document! if your tag doesn’t work, find out why! (not sure how much i will write for this fandom, but add yourself if you want!)

@essie1876​ @choosemyname​ @cuddlyklaus​ @sotmperrie​ @akshi8278​ @chynarosep101​ @gh0stgurl​ @littlemissslytherinprincess​ @honeybums-blog​ @kendall-michele​ @tdntu0​ @miraclesoflove​ @nasatonie​ @thelazywitchphotographer​

[burnedbyshoto]

go the distance

(will you) go the distance

— You’re perfectly content in life except for the fact that you are not dating Deku. When his best friend won’t help you out, you turn to the dark side to get what you want.

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pairing: pro hero!midoriya izuku x bad villain!reader

warnings: 18+, nsfw, smut, manga spoilers, pro hero!au, villain!reader, ofa usage for sex lol, size difference, manhandling, public sex, slight degradation and praise, deku eats his cum outta ya pussy, big dick deku, corruption but make it opposite, deku is a pervert change my mind

word count: 12,715

a/n: well, yall already knew I wanted to make this fic a reality, so here it is for bnharems villain collab!! check out all the already amazing stories if you haven’t already. thank you to kara, sky, and jo for reading this for me because lmao im ass rn. I’m gonna go to bed because I partied a bit too hard last night.

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your quirk: distortion – can make afflicted persons vision shift 6 cm to the left or right at the cost of having their own vision shift the same way

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“Breaking news: We have yet another report to add to the slew of attacks this month, this comes just days after we broadcasted rumors of a villain running rampant over the city. This spate of attacks has put the entire metropolitan area at a standstill, road closures, and damaged property making it difficult for commuters to get to work in the morning. 

“Road maintenance endeavors to do its best to keep the city running, but it seems futile when these attacks continue to increase. The entire city was brought to a standstill by the mysterious villain who has still not been named, but reports show they are nothing like we have ever experienced before. 

“Where are the heroes now? Who will save us from the terror overwhelming our city? 

“Every day the crime toll continues to rise and we have no one here to protect us. The Hero Public Safety Commission assured us earlier in the week that the crime rate would go down, that the top Heroes are out there protecting our city, but if so, where are they? Is it really safe to go out anymore, who can we trust? Would you put your life in the hands of a Hero today? When they have proved our streets are no longer safe. We still have no information on what is going on, or who is involved, but we must remain observant. We will continue to report the latest news as we receive it, but for now, we must implore you to heed the warnings of the city-wide curfew that is soon to be implemented. If anyone has any information on these occurrences in the city, please send them to us or contact the police, you can remain anonymous. The safety of our citizens is what is most important, stay vigilant and don’t go out unless it is absolutely necessary. One thing we know for sure: we can no longer rely on Heroes to protect us. The streets of our once-great city are no longer safe, we are no longer safe.”

The female reporter closes her eyes, despite still being on the air, her eyebrows furrowed as she exasperatedly sighs.

“Was that good enough, Mirage?”

You look at her with a pout, your eyes then clenching shut as your lips move with unsaid words as you motion for the cameras to stop rolling. You tilt your head right and left, muttering a bit.

“Did that seem better to you this time? I don’t know, I don’t think it was scary enough...”

You open your eyes to see the exasperated reporter looking at you as if she personally sought to end you right where you were sitting.

“You are the worst villain I’ve ever encountered,” she deadpans, and you laugh in agreement.

.

.

.

You weren’t really a villain.

If you must put a label on what you were, you would say that you were the best PR head any hero agency could ask for. You were, after all, the top student graduate from UA’s Business Course and had been ushered into a condensed agency the moment you were finished taking your graduation pictures. 

And well, if you are actually curious about the… villainy, you would like to uphold and continue to stress that you weren’t a villain! You were just a public nuisance – like those stupid YouTubers – with the ability to garner Pro Heroes’ attention! People had no reason to scoff at what you did on the daily.

You took both of these jobs very seriously!

It was like being straight out of a comic for you!

A simple – hopefully should the heroes you’re in charge of not be stupid – nine to five job by day, and a badass, crime-committing, sexy as shit villain by night! How could anyone ever hate you for your lifestyle! How could anyone ever hate you?!

But we are all noisy people, and everyone wondered just why you became a villain because you had a beautifully stable job with an impressive salary! Why would such an amazing woman such as yourself dabble in the evilness of humanity? 

Well, you did have an answer for the public.

“Why do you engage in evil, villainous schemes?” the reporter deadpans, absolutely and utterly not being paid enough to humor you in this forced interview.

The public loved drama, pizazz, a little showmanship even from what they deemed humanities worst! So, you told the world why you chose to be evil instead of good:

“Because I want to be!” you grin, flashing a pose as you make your away from the interviewer you had very much illegally forced to interview you. “And because a hero killed my cat!’

Of course, that was a lie! Why would you ever hand over the real reason as to why you decided to become a villain! You’d be laughed right out of Japan, possibly be murdered by a horde of fangirls!

For you see, there was one reason and one reason alone as to why you decided to take your place within the villainy hall of fame. Why you chose to do more in your day outside of your already demanding job.

And that one reason was: Pro Hero Deku, civilian name Midoriya Izuku.

Now, trying not to come off as some creepy, weirdo, stalker fangirl, you could fully admit that you were in love with the stupidly large hunk of a man that debuted as an official pro a year before you graduated from high school. 

You remember how the world was finally recovering from the year-long nightmare that had ensued. To be honest, you were stupidly surprised you had even managed to graduate, given that most of schooling had become somewhat of a joke.

FIVE YEARS AGO, MARCH, 2XXX:

It had been in the evening, the clear blue sky becoming ruby red and blood orange as you made your way out of campus. The air somehow smelled of sweet hay and gasoline, but you didn’t mind. There was hardly anyone out at this time, most students had made their way home already, and the only sounds were the moving cars of businessmen just trying to get back home.

There really wasn’t any reason to suspect anything to go wrong, this was a simple daily walk back home after school that wasn’t like any other. But then there had been a loud pop, an ever louder screech, and finally, you managed to whip your head in time to see a car tumbling through the air straight at you. 

There was hardly any time to think, even less to react, and the only thing you knew was that you were not going to survive.

You braced yourself, eyes clenching and body curling, your mind screaming because this was not going to be the way things ended. But before it could happen, before the car could come down upon you and squish you like a bug under a shoe, something picked you up and you were weightless.

Waiting for an impact that never came, the tears that were endlessly streaming down your face were suddenly stopped by rough, warm fingers smoothly wiping them away.

“Hey, it’s okay! You’re safe now!” a voice says softly to you, endearingly warm and comforting. “I’m here, don’t worry.”

“Am I… did I die?” you whisper, unsure if you even want the answer, your eyes remaining closed because you refused to open them up to some angel that could confirm your death. “God, what an embarrassing way to die!”

“Oh – um, no! You’re not dead! I promise!” the voice laughs brightly, just softly enough that you believe him and not be entirely horrified by the amused reaction. Your eyes crack open slowly, just barely peering back into the world, still half praying you weren’t dead. But all you saw was green. 

Green eyes, green hair, green clothes.

You blink, once, twice, realizing only then you were staring into the eyes of a boy about your age.

He had curly hair, freckles littering his face, and eyes that easily pierced through your very soul.

Without meaning to, your breath stopped, frozen in your lungs as you were captivated by a handsome man with a curving, beautiful smile. 

“See, I told you it was okay!” he teased you, head cocking to the side as he grinned largely.

The action itself seemed to strangle the strangest noise out of your mouth as you realized suddenly and immediately that your face was burning and all you could think was:

A cute hero rescued me, a cute hero rescued me, a cute hero rescued me, acuteherorescuedme!

“Sorry about that scare! I would’ve caught that car sooner, but I wasn’t paying attention to who was around!” the green boy apologized, bowing deeply in front of you in his apology. “There’s a commotion just up ahead, so I recommend you take the next road over.”

You nod numbly, unable to conjure even the slightest hint of your voice again as he stood up to his full length. He was average in height it seemed, taller than you, but still not towering. The hero looked behind his shoulder, those big green eyes focusing onto the distance, onto something you couldn’t even begin to imagine – or see, really. He blinked and turned back to you, smile gone but the gentle aura to him remained, but now his face, his mouth, was underlined with a sense of urgency and engagement to whatever sent a vehicle tumbling your way.

“Which train do you take home?” he asked, eyebrows relaxing from his stern position, as his smile picked up again. “I’ll take you closer to your station!”

“B train,” you manage to wheeze out – unable to be the reason why he was held up but also confused as to just what he could do to get you closer to the station that was at least a mile away from here.

“Perfect! I know where that is!” he laughs for just a moment, and before you could even ask if this was going to be some escorted thing – because you definitely did not need it – his arms were fastly secured around you, and suddenly you were weightless.

A cold wind rushed against your face, nipping at your nose, cheeks, and ears, sending your hair flying around – into your mouth! Oh, you were screaming! You were soaring through the skyline, being held by some hero you couldn’t name, and you were screeching at the top of your lungs.

Making the mistake of looking down, your arms were suddenly around his shoulders, your voice growing even sharper and louder as you squeezed against his body and refused to let go. His hands, despite the gloves, were warm on your back, and his soft chuckle warming you from nose to toes as he secured his grip on you.

“I got you,” he spoke, “I won’t let you go, I promise.”

Those words don’t exactly ease you, but there’s a comfort to the genuinity to his words. You nod nonetheless, your face buried deep into his neck. The cold wind continues to whip around you, the only thing sounding in your ears is the cruel whipping wind and quiet city below.

“I’m landing now,” he informed you, body shifting in the wind, and reflexively, you clung even tighter to him, expecting the similar stomach dropping motion of a roller coaster going straight down. “You’re – ack – c-choking me!”

The knowledge of that, hearing the strain and entirely unhidden sound of him choking against the current chokehold you had on him, you released him entirely with a shriek of your own. Was it a smart move? No, definitely not because you were how many hundreds – if not thousands – of feet in the air with a quirk that could not, and would not save you.

“It’s okay! I’m fine!” he quickly said, his arms shifting around your waist as you felt your body weight drop just the smallest bit. To which your focus landed to the concrete floor so far down, and you began screaming again. He panicked just a bit too. “Y-You’re okay too! We’re landing! We’re landing!”

Soon, but not soon enough, the concrete floor came underneath your feet, and you practically felt your knees buckle underneath you. The train station behind you was practically invisible, and you felt the floor come in contact with your knees, and you collapsed onto your hands and knees. You could feel the tears streaming down your face as you wheezed and panted, unable to move from your position. 

“Hey, look, we made it!” he laughed gently, probably being said in hopes that you would feel better. (It did make you feel slightly better, his laugh was light and pretty to listen to.) You could feel him approaching you, iron covered red shoes appearing before your vision. Looking up, you saw that the young hero was crouching, his face holding a wobbly smile that was earnest, worried, and full of unspoken hope. “I do need to get back, but before I do, are you good enough to be left alone?”

You blinked your soaked eyelashes at him, still largely unable to say anything at the cute hero in front of you who had a few scratches on his cheek, right below his freckles.

“Y-Yeah, um,” you say, your tongue cotten and lead in your dry mouth. “I-I’ll be fine, I think.”

The green eyed hero nods, offering you a hand and assisting you to your trembling legs, “That’s good to hear!” he chirped, his wobbly smile becoming a grand, bright grin. “You were really brave! I was impressed!”

Now, you were an idiot at times, but even you could spot a stupid lie. Still, hearing it said with such honesty, as if this hero who was no taller than five foot eight truly believed it, made something bubble in your chest, and soon you found yourself laughing.

“No need to lie to me, h-hero,” you manage to speak between stammering breaths, “thank you for saving me, though. I appreciate it.”

You grin crookedly at him, and to your utter delight, he reciprocates it.

“It’s the least I can do. I’d offer to take you home but… I’m not quite finished yet,” he says, and you can only nod, the conversation obviously reaching its last strides. You watch as he floats up, his eyes looking at you, but somehow focused how many miles away from where he had brought you from. “Stay safe?”

“I’ll try my best,” you agree to his question, hands clasping before your lap. “Finish the job quick, hero?”

He grins, “I’ll try my best.”

You feel a breathless sort of laugh escape you as you watch him beginning to shoot back up, but a sort of horror shoots through you as you rush forward, running right after him, hands cupping around your mouth as you scream:

“What’s your name?!”

The blur of green in the air freezes, and you stop running as you see green eyes and freckles focusing back onto you.

“Deku! My hero name is Deku!”

You stop at the curb of the street, eyes focused on the sky as the green eyed hero named Deku grins one last time before shooting off at a speed probably much faster than when he held onto you. The wind blows around you, and you can only feel the heat sitting on your cheeks and the way you’re smiling as you stare after his figure that's long, long gone.

“Deku...” you whisper to yourself, ignorant to the world of commuters beginning to appear at the station. “Thank you.”

And thus came the very apparent and obvious day in which you fell head over heels for Pro Hero Deku.

Now some people called you a stupid fangirl, obsessive stalker, and sometimes, yeah, you were obsessive and weird about your slight infatuation with a stranger. It was strange, you knew that! But you also knew that you had practically no chances of ever being able to woe the man behind the image of Deku because Midoriya Izuku practically existed as Deku 24/7.

After you graduated from high school, you were put into the same agency that was currently holding Deku. Without tooting your own rom-com obsessed horn too much, you fully expected to walk in and be handed Deku’s file as his PR manager and be able to thank him for not only saving you all that time ago, but also eventually sweep him off his feet. 

But your reputation preceded you well, probably too well, because the first day you entered the office and was handed your list of three clients to work with, neither one was for Deku. Being a PR manager for heroes was hard, a job that practically held no set hours because, unlike your typical celebrities, heroes had no type of privacy or protection. They were constantly under the spotlight, being viewed by adoring fans and scornful critics. Your job served as the first line of defense for heroes against the public, and there were some heroes that were quite hilariously easy to work for because they were genuinely good.

The older PR managers typically held the quieter, easy tempered, or less combat heavy heroes. These heroes typically never had a bad thing said about them, their job was a glorified PA job but even less because there was no expected demands from the heroes they had to take in. Unless, of course, a hero wanted to do some sort of public event they hadn’t considered. 

But there were the louder, quick to temper, or the heavy combat heroes that while made you an insane amount of money, also brought you a near 120 hour work week because there was so much to do, so much to consider, so much to keep your eyes on. There was the constant slander, the people who hated the louder, quick to temper heroes because they didn’t like their attitude, completely disregarding that they had been unsafe and a liability the entire time the hero was dealing with them. The talk shows that took months to convince to allow for an interview because they heard false rumors, and so you have to practically wrestle a boa constrictor to get a measly five minute interview done. And then the combat-heavy heroes… no one would ever shut up about building damages and how this hero broke his nose while he was stealing a store! 

Not to mention having to have every single piece of social media on your phone, set to notify you whenever your clients names were brought up so that you could look at it. You’ve seen more than enough lewd drawings of your clients to last you a lifetime, enough fanfiction, and fan edits that left you with blazing cheeks and the need to never look at your client ever again. But mostly you checked each and every update because you were their first and only line of legal defense on these sorts of things.

You’ve taken down leaked nudes, fake news, and qualmed rumors and speculations.

It was hard.

So when you were shown to your desk on your first day and three files were handed to you, you were shocked to see the hero names you would be working with.

Dynamight

Phantom Thief

Shouto

Somehow, without having yet to speak with a single one of your now current clients, you knew that you were going to have your work cut out for you.

“Good luck newbie!” the woman who gave you the initial tour chirped, clapping you on the back. “You got this!”

Good lord.

Without much to do other than reading through the three’s files, you realized that you already knew a bunch about two of three of your clients. DynaMight and Shouto were two heroes that you knew teamed up with and hung out with Deku a lot, both on-field and off-field if any of the out of costume pictures said anything. Because of their connection with Deku, you had at one point learned a bit about them.

You knew that Shouto was a crowd favorite. He was tall and sweet and a complete airhead at the best moments despite him being smart. Controversy still surrounded his character, despite all the good he did, because of the past history that was brought out about his father Endeavor and his brother Dabi. The country couldn’t figure out where they stood in terms of that reveal. Endeavor did a lot before the reveal, and continued to rise up to everything in his path despite the skeletons in his closet being thrown out for the world to see. They neither forgave him, nor hated him, they only watched and waited. Then Dabi, of course, was seen as a could-have-been version of Shouto, and many tried to ask if he was really a hero and not actually siding with the League. After all, why on Earth would he be defensive of his father too?

The public had an unmoving image of Shouto based on anything but who he was as an individual, and you decided immediately that it would be your job to fix that. He was also, after all, a dear friend of Deku, so you’d do anything.

Phantom Thief was your easiest of the three clients. A relatively well mannered man who was kind and a bit weird in a fun way. He had a great sense of self and was a reliable person on the field. He made a great hero, but you could see the way his spirit blazed with an unspoken rivalry between him and the other two of your clients. Well, it seemed like he was the best until his former self appointed rivals came into the picture, but that was hardly ever, and according to Shouto, he was way worse back in their first year. 

The greatest scandal he’s had so far in your three years of working at their agency was the one time he was lied to about a quirk and accidentally copied a woman's quirk that gave her the ability to change her cup size. Safe to say that Phantom Thief accidentally broke a few buttons on his shirt and was unable to stop civilians from snapping pictures. 

But of course, the one that had you practically crying yourself to sleep nightly for more than one reason was Dynamight.

You’d known about him the moment you looked up Deku on your phone.

They were practically a hero duo in everything but name. They were always seen doing the same things together, whether that be on patrol together or maybe getting dinner, most of their top recorded fights were done with each other by their sides. You had also learned that they were childhood friends, and you practically vibrated at the thought that even though Deku was not your client, the chances of meeting him were still astronomically high.

There was no way you wouldn’t not meet Deku!

But you were wrong, so very, very wrong.

Turns out the hero duo in everything but name meant that Dynamight refused to let Deku be anywhere near him in the agency – the very small amount of time they spent in here. The few times they were in the same room, Dynamight absolutely refused to be interrupted because that was their paperwork hour. You had only ever been blessed with seeing green curls turning the corner as Dynamight gripped your forearm, refusing to let you follow.

“Like hell I’ll let you distract the shitnerd,” he stated simply, his red eyes narrowed as he stared down his nose at you. You opened your mouth, ready to defend your not so innocent intentions. “I’m not stupid, so don’t pretend like you won’t try anything.”

Your jaw snapped shut.

Safe to say that you couldn’t do anything about Deku so long as Dynamight was around.

But Dynamight as a client was exhausting to put it kindly.

There were so many opinions and thoughts and issues and praises coming from everywhere. Hell, even the fucking Americans and westerners had caught wind of the Wonder Duo at one point and while you were well knowledgable on their opinions on Deku, the ones on Dynamight were the ones that you had to focus on now.

People still called him a villain, so many unhappy with the fact that he still screamed and cursed and threatened. There were many conspiracy theories that he was working with the long dead League of Villains. They turned their nose up at the fact that he was childhood friends with Deku, claiming that no way an asshole like him could have ever been friends with him. And of course the bullying revelation that had come out shortly after your debut. 

That had been a trip, one that had you even shocked as Dynamight approached the table in front of the media, his body calm and composed. You had watched as he simply said he owed nothing to the media, that he had already done all that he could to deserve his atonement and deserve Deku’s forgiveness. He had spoken clearly, concisely that it wasn’t any of their damn business as to what he did, and if he apologized to them, the unaffected, the ones that had nothing to do with his early years of bullying Deku, of his previous weakness and insecurity, it would be a waste of his breath. 

It isn’t to them he should ever be apologizing to anyways.

You had watched as he stood up, face calm, and hands shoved into his pockets as he stood and walked away despite the screaming reporters. You had wanted to stay longer, have your own hand in damage control, but a swoop of green came in and Deku was at the microphone eyebrows furrowed as he pointed a finger at them all and said that his past with Kacchan was between him and Kacchan only, and his decision to forgive Kacchan were his and only his.

You didn’t hear the rest, didn’t even get the option to hear the way the hero you loved defended the hero you worked for – his childhood friend.

No.

Dynamight had grabbed your elbow and dragged you out of the room with him, the metal doors clanging closed the moment fierce green eyes met yours.

You watched in the company car as Dynamight looked outside the window, one elbow on the doorframe holding his chin; his gaze focused sharply on nothing but the passing sidewalk. Had it not been for the way the hand on top of his lap trembled, you would have thought he was perfectly okay.

Neither one of you talked about that again.

But just because you didn’t talk about it again, didn’t mean the world was the same. People claimed he brainwashed Deku, others demanded that Deku beat the shit out of Dynamight. You knew that Dynamight would want nothing to do with this, but you would stay in the office (an almost useless, empty office as most PR managers did their business at home) for hours long after you were supposed to be gone, practically arguing with someone who only existed behind a screen and didn’t even care that much – but you couldn’t stop.

Seeing Dynamight’s shaking hand had really done a number on you.

“The hell are you still doing here, eyelashes,” Dynamite asked from the dark entrance of the floor. “Go home already, don’t waste your time.”

You had startled at the initial intrusion, but you immediately relaxed seeing the smudged paint around red eyes and blond hair. You barely kept your gaze on him before turning back to your computer and continuing your argument.

“I’m not wasting my time, I’m doing my job,” you remark, eyes squinting at your keyboard because your vision is definitely blurry. “I’ll be heading out soon anyways.”

“God you’re fucking annoying and stubborn!” Dynamight barked, the heel of his hand slamming into his forehead. “This is exactly why I won’t introduce you to the fucking nerd!” 

“What?!” you shriek, suddenly looking at your client as if he had personally attacked you – and in a way he did. “What do you mean you won’t introduce me to Deku because of that?! I’ve already met Red Riot, Chargebolt, Cellophane, and Pinky through you!”

“Yeah, because they’re not stubborn idiots too!” Dynamight accuses, jamming a gloved finger at you as he begins stomping your way. You startle, your chair shooting backward as the explosion hero makes his way towards you at alarming speed.

“What are you—?!” you shriek, hands flailing about as he grabs you by the collar of your distressed shirt.

Dynamight lifts you up to your feet as if you were a sack of flour and you grasp onto his forearm.

“I might tell you that you’re the most annoying and stubborn bitch in the world, but you’re not worse than fucking Deku,” Dynamight sneers, his red eyes narrowed and stern. “I’m not going to let you meet him until you learn how to give or you’ll hurt him, and I’m not going to be part of any reason as to why he gets hurt again.”

Your jaw dropped, clearly offended, but you closed it just as fast; the weight of his words made you a bit sad, even for just a bit.

“You’re kinda cute when you care for Deku, you sure I’m his biggest fan?” you tease, grinning at the hero to which he rolls his eyes.

“Shut the hell up and go home already; it’s annoying seeing you fight a losing battle that’s none of your damn business,” Dynamight simply said, putting you back onto your feet and blocking out your desk. 

“I’ll go home on the condition that for my birthday you at least consider introducing us!” you say, unwilling to move from your spot. “I’ve been working for you for three years! You’ve kept me away for three years!”

Dynamight’s stare didn’t even shift the slightest millimeter, his red eyes unamused as you groaned in grief and annoyance.

“I’m stubborn? Have you met yourself?!” you grumble snatching your jacket and purse from the hook on your cubicle and shoving them on. “My names God of Explosion Murder: Dynamight and I am Stubborn™ but will never admit it.”

You continued mocking your long time client and most definitely friend if you dared to say so, and dragged the heel of your foot all the way to the elevator to which you were joined by Dynamight. The trip down the elevator is silent, and you keep your gaze locked on the closed doors, unwilling to even look at the hero next to you.

Soon enough, the elevator reached the ground floor, and you got ready to walk out.

“I’ll consider it,” Dynamight said as the elevator doors opened. “Also, fucking stop calling me Dynamight, Bakugou’s fine.”

He walked off the elevator with his hands shoved into the pockets of his pants.

“Thank you, Bakugou!” you shriek, your lungs failing you at the thought of finally being introduced to Deku! You hadn’t moved from your spot from the elevator, your chest hammering with the thought of getting to meet Deku.

“Don’t get your hopes up, you’re still irritatingly stubborn,” Bakugou merely calls over his shoulder before lifting his hand in a halfhearted wave before stepping out of the glass door.

That brought you back to reality just a bit and you scowled, knowing you would have to go beyond and above to prove that. 

But you see, there were many reasons to cry about having Bakugou as your client. Besides the stinkhole of his previous bullying, people just were not understanding his typically prickly exterior. You had to go head to head with reputation tarnished, had to slap fangirls away who demanded that Bakugou degrade them where they stood. It was hard to not be stubborn as not only his PR manager but his friend, and in less than a month, still plenty of time before your birthday, you had already grown irritated of the meeting-Deku-card he waved over your head.

“Mei, if I have to go any longer than this, I will die and hope I am reborn as Deku’s new guardian angel,” you pouted, chin pressed against a cold metal tabletop. Your hands being used as glove models for one of your best friends Hatsume Mei. “It’s first of all impossible getting anywhere near him with his guard dog Bakugou literally stopping me whenever I’m within a ten foot radius! And then I’m not even sure what will happen when we do meet again! Would I even be able to talk to him?!”

“Why wouldn’t you? You talk to all my babies with me! There’s practically nothing you can’t do,” Mei laughs, smacking you against your back before returning her intense gaze back to the gloves. “Deku’s uh… I actually can’t remember him but I’m sure he’s a great conversationalist! I think he helped me with the Sports Festival my first year.”

 “That was Iida,” you laugh, wiggling your fingers as Mei demanded. “You’re so bad with names and faces, I’m impressed you know mine.”

“You saved my baby, of course I remember you,” Mei turned her grin towards you, “but come on, why can’t you get with him besides this Bakugou guy?”

“Well, he’s just like Bakugou! He’s practically married to his job! Their schedules basically match together perfectly! There’s literally only three hours a day while they’re on the job that they’re not together! And that’s when they patrol their own parts of town because there’s hardly any activity they don’t need to be attached by the neck.” You explain and rant, your cheeks puffing as you stand up and allow Mei to run further tests on the glove. 

“Sounds like you gotta become a villain to woo this hero guy, huh,” Mei spoke, eyes focused on the glove as you pointed a finger at the far wall and watched as a beam exploded from the fingertip and pierced through the steel wall like butter. “Too bad you’re a goody two-shoes or else I could make you some serious villain gear and make you a fearsome villain to then prove that Hatusme Mei’s babies and creations are untouchable and the best in the world! Muah-ha-ha-ha!”

You know her words are more joking than serious, but that doesn’t stop your eyes from widening. Your body shifts over to where she was standing and you screech pointing at her and just narrowly missing setting off the laser again. 

“THAT'S IT!”

“What’s it?” she asked, completely confused.

“You have to make me a villain!” you exclaim, rushing over to Mei, who is eagerly waiting for her babies returnal especially since it ran perfectly. “You have to make me near-invisible gear that can keep me going toe to toe with Deku until I can seduce him!”

“You want to turn evil?” Mei questions, finger pressing quizzically to her chin. “That doesn’t seem right.”

“I am definitely not villainous to pull that off, but like I pretend to be a villain so that he talks to me and we can like get to know each other!” you exclaim, you’re unable to keep from hopping up and down on your feet, your grin unfathomably bright. “It's practically a romcom in the making!”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Mei laughs, altering the band of fabric around your waist. “You do know heroes and villains hardly speak? It’s more like… ‘I’m more powerful,’ ‘No me!,’ ‘No, ME!’”

“Um, I’m pretty sure that’s not true, but whatever! I’ll figure out a way!” you continue on unaffected because this plan was genius! Especially if you had Mei in your corner?! Her recent development of not using such… steampunk designs made her creations elusive and dangerous to own. Hence why she was an extremely sought out manufacturer, by villains and heroes alike. “And if I can go toe to toe with Deku of all people, you’ll know that you and your babies are the undeniable best!”

“Hm, that is promising,” Mei agrees with a nod as she forces you around. “Is this Deku guy all that good?”

“He’s the one you made the iron soles for!” you chirp and watch as the recognition and challenge spark immediately in Mei’s yellow eyes.

“Oh,” Mei chuckles, turning away from you and looking at her pile of made babies. “This would be good.”

“So we have an agreement?” you grin excitedly. 

“Give me a month, and we’ll have your debut!”

Fuck Bakugou for thinking you weren’t good enough!

.

.

.

You hadn’t expected the initial phases of villainy to be quite as hard as it was, if you were being honest. The late nights at Mei’s personal lab made sure to keep your plans a solid secret, but you had to prepare for the wild range of what Deku’s quirk entailed.

There was smoke, something you were already used to working in because of Bakugou and his quirk. You’ve navigated quite a bit in his smog, and as long as you knew where you were, you would be fine. 

There was also that danger sense, which allowed him to know when things were coming – something that shouldn’t be too big an issue considering you weren’t actually attempting to extract danger onto him. 

Blackwhip was a big issue. How far or how much could you do if he even grabbed a hold of you. With sleuthing and the help of Mei having files on everyone's quirks, you were able to find information that blackwhip was a creation made of energy. Meaning that Mei was now making some type of destructing material to lessen the energy of the quirk, allowing for you to escape should he attempt to capture you this way.

Float was stopped by having most of your fights occur within a confined area, which was needed for you anyways! You didn’t need to be caught by anyone else but him! You didn’t actually need to land in jail – you would prefer to not be handled by anyone but Deku, actually.

Then of course the stupid superstrength and superspeed, both of which you knew you could handle with your quirk. You’ve been head to head with people with quirks similar to that before, and you knew your quirk was tricky enough that you’d manage to slip right past his fingers just fine. After all, you knew full and well that the Deku who took down S class villains was worlds quicker than F class villains – aka you.

You would be fine.

But today was day one, first of how many days it would take to get Pro Hero Deku, aka Midoriya Izuku to fall in love with you. 

You were dressed in a black and purple bodysuit that was definitely not inspired by Shego from Kim Possible’s costume. Your hair was dyed purple by a special spray Mei created that would be washed out by the end of the day, but wouldn’t ever give away that it was fake. You wore a mask over your eyes, and grinned seeing that you couldn’t see a fleck of color on your irises. 

Perfect.

And with far too much confidence, nauseating excitement, and unjustified attitude, you marched down towards your first spot, ready and adopting the identity of who you were about to become.

Mirage.

It was time to act. Deku and Dynamight were on different patrol routes right now, and you sent your threat, readying for the moment for the man in green to come in with the desire to stop you. With the very real threat of stealing every puppy within the tristate area being broadcasted within the area unless and hero bests you, you waited for your savior to come and stop you.

“I am here to stop your villainous acts, you villain!” a voice shattered the silence just as it shattered your heart. You looked over your shoulder to see some hero you couldn’t name standing at the other stairwell entrance with his fists clenched and ready to fight. 

You groaned, shoulders crumbling with your well hidden disappointment.

“I wasn’t looking for you!” you exclaimed, pointing an accusatory finger at the flabbergasted hero who was just trying to figure out what was happening. “Where’s Deku?!”

“He’s – he’s not here yet,” he stammers, eyes wide. “It’s not his day anymore to patrol this area?”

“Aw fuck!” you complain, pouting at the realization that you had messed up. “Okay, I’ll be back later, please don’t come back. Bye!”

With a small wave, you easily stepped through the door to the stairwell next to you and left, your threat empty and the hero victorious despite not actually stopping you. And unfortunately, although you had wished and prayed even, this was not the last time a screw up like this would happen.

At the threat of destroying all the cats in the area, you had another hero show up, not Deku, and you groaned and left before they could even finish their call of stopping you.

You then threatened to poison the watering system, to which you found out that Deku was held up at another major villain threat in a different city. You groaned and stomped off after that. 

Then there was the time you swore you would increase the overall temperature of the city per one degree celsius should your demands not be made. Shouto answered that one and you immediately walked away the moment you saw the familiar head of red and white coming your way.

Time and time again you kept being caught by heroes you could not care about, being confronted by no names and nobodies. It was tiring, and Mei was beginning to sigh just the smallest bit whenever you showed up to try yet again.

But you weren’t a quitter!

You would win!

This was your last attempt at getting Deku to notice you.

After threatening to wrap all the citizens in the area with a giant froot by the foot, you were almost sad to say that the heroes ignored your cry for chaos and no one had come to check on you.

You sat outside the building you used as your trap for Deku, pouting into a hot dog that the neighborhood's grandma gave you because you looked like you needed something to eat. It’s a good thing you weren’t actually a villain or else they’d be fucked, you bitterly thought as you took another bite of your food. 

It had been a month of empty, no Deku appearances, and you were going to bite the bullet and pretend to be not stubborn just so stupid Bakugou of all people could introduce you.

You kicked your feet as you sat on the staircase, humming as you watched the empty streets bend with the wind. It was quiet, beautiful, peaceful.

“YOU!” a voice shrieked to your left, and you watched a pudgy, red nosed man racing over towards you, a flash drive clenched in his hands. “TAKE THIS! RUN! DON’T LET THE HEROES TAKE IT!”

You gawked at him, feeling the small plastic device being shoved into your hands as the man collapsed at your feet. You squeaked when you heard a voice yelling stop and you bounced to your feet, turned into the building and raced in.

Your breathing was erratic, heart in your throat as you raced up the stairwell, unable to begin to imagine what the hell the information on the flash drive held. You were practically hyperventilating as you reached the floor you had come to know extremely well, and you stood near the window with shaky hands and legs.

What did you take?!

“I’m going to need that back, I’m afraid,” a low smooth voice said from behind you, and you froze immediately. Old anxiety overcome by a new anxiety, one that made your stomach flip and blood burn. 

Turning around, you felt awestruck to see the one man you’ve been waiting for… for fucking years now, really, to appear before you, finally be there. In the flesh, completely, entirely. Your jaw dropped, your gaze looking down from your clenched hand that held the USB to the way that Deku looked at you with warm eyes that were underlined with steel that made you want to drop to your knees, confess everything, and beg to be his. God, he was so fucking tall. He had only been about five foot eight the last time you had actually talked, and now he was at least a foot taller. His teenager haircut was long gone, now replaced with his curls trimmed at the nape of his neck before filling out on top – not quite an undercut. He had more freckles now, surely. His skin just a bit tanner, a scar trailing from his cheek to his jaw. You knew there were more scars, just as you knew that there were dimples when he smiled.

You wanted to have him between your legs while you begged for mercy, holy shit.

Tucking the USB into your pocket, you tilted your head as you will yourself to relax.

“I went through all the trouble of getting it... I think if I’m going to hand it over quickly, I deserve to know what’s on it, no?” you tease, your confidence coming out of nowhere while a smile spreads ever so largely over your features. Deku’s eyes widened just a bit, shock overcoming his green eyes.

“I’m sorry, but that’s confidential,” Deku stresses, taking a step forward toward you. You click your tongue, taking a step backward while grinning.

“I don’t think that’s what I asked for,” you giggle as you watch Deku’s face go through an array of emotions before settling onto one – curiosity.

“What do you want?” he asked, apparently entirely ready to discuss any and all terms and conditions with you.

“Honestly?” you reply, tapping a gloved finger to your chin as you ‘think.’ Deku, however, nods. His stance relaxing, becoming one of preparedness but not the takedown he had previously entered with.

“A date with you.”

You watch as Deku’s eyes slam wide open, his jaw dropping immediately and he stammered. Oh, how your heart soared and how you felt giddy and wonderful as he seemed to slip and slide on his own tongue!

“A-A date?!” he ends up almost shrieking, his head shaking left and right. “T-That’s a total lie! You can’t possibly – well, no! Please tell me the truth!”

But you were giddy, practically drunk off the fact that you were making the most powerful hero in the world blush like a little schoolboy. You suddenly were on the offensive, stepping towards your hero who was much larger than you with power and drive behind each step. And it must have been the way you stared him down, the way you walked towards him at blank range with such brimming confidence that Deku takes a step back. But it’s something that makes you want to laugh as the heel of his foot gets caught on a raised tile, and you watch the mountain of a man tumble to the floor.

You’re on top of him immediately, hands pressed to his shoulders, knee settling near his crotch with most of your weight so he got the idea to not do anything funny. The USB sits between your fingers, and you lean over his flushed face that looks up at you with wide eyes.

“Actually, I changed my mind, I know what I want,” you say instead, nose ghosting over his. “Everytime I decide to do something… naughty… I want you to be the hero on the case to stop me. You and just you.”

You lean in closer, so close that you could see the specks of gold in his green, green eyes.

Deku hasn’t spoken, and you’re pretty sure his chest isn’t moving as you press your breasts against his.

“Understood, De-ku?”

Your teeth tug at his bottom lip and let go as he nods.

“Good, good,” you grin, sitting up on his chest and taking the USB in your fingers and slipping it into his utility belt. “Take good care of that for me, I’ll see you next time, hero…”

You had only managed to flash a quick wave before disappearing through your usual door, hoping and praying to god that whatever the hell possessed you would continue until you reached Mei’s. It wouldn’t hit you until much, much later than you had stunned Pro Hero Deku speechless within the first meeting.

Hell, you thought giddily as you answered Bakugou’s call about how he probably just got into a bit of a messy situation, maybe you do have the potential to woo him like this. 

.

Thus truly began your descent as the villain Mirage.

.

It was quickly accepted and discovered that the moment you stepped into that costume and colored hair that you were the prey for Deku and Deku only. Most of your interactions with Deku occurred within buildings, and you used Mei’s gear to gain the final laugh each and every time to allow for you to escape. There were times, however, where you could be seen racing through the sky. Jumping from rooftop to rooftop as Deku followed after you, leaping, tumbling, and even catching you at times. 

You flirted with him heavily, allowing yourself to be caught so that you could bat your pretty lashes and press your chest against his. It didn’t matter how professional he was, how good at his job he was, Deku was a pervert – so obviously a pervert it made slipping away almost too easy.

But because you had the world-renowned, world known Pro Hero Deku as the only hero on your case, soon the small block who had to play victims to your horrendous crimes became only a small percentage of people who were watching your crimes. These near daily crimes (or inconveniences/botherings as the people on the internet say to defend you and your actions) are becoming both a worldwide sensation, and so, it took nothing for you to continue having Deku at your feet and the world chipped in. So you agreed to do interviews, forcing uneager reporters to do segments on you so that the hype behind you and Deku’s relationship grew.

You didn’t want him to leave you, not until you got what you wanted, and unless you were an idiot, you were nearly positive you were almost there.

Why would you say that?

Well, a few reasons.

The first came about a week after you had first met Deku again.

You had joyously gathered the means to create a machine to shave down an eighth of an inch of everyone's shoes in the entire country of Japan without their knowledge. You had ever so evilly explained that the point of this was to ensure that for a full day, everyone would feel off and unbalanced but would not know why.

You had said this, grinning widely as you turned around to see Deku standing there attempting to fight off a very amused smile. 

“I don’t think that would be all too evil, Mirage,” he called out to you, arms folding across his chest as he watched you set up the machine to do exactly what you said you would do.

“Mm, that’s what you say now, but just wait until you’re one of the losers stumbling around,” you say back, grinning as you turn around for just a second, wagging the knife at Deku from the distance. 

“Well, regardless, you know I can’t let you do that,” Deku laughs just slightly, and you grin, standing up.

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yes, so I’m going to have to ask you to stop right there.”

You giggle.

“Make me.”

You’re not sure what happens, but there’s dodging and weaving, spinning and sliding. You’re practically wheezing from how hard you’re laughing as Deku can not manage to land a finger on you with the help of Mei’s items and your quirk. It all comes to an end when instead of dodging, you throw yourself right at him, and Deku has not anticipated that. 

His eyes are wide open and you fiercely grin as he falls back onto the floor, unbalanced and only slightly frantic. You have the knife pointed at his neck, the dull blade sitting gently on his skin.

“So, Deku,” you taunt teasingly, your teeth burying into your bottom lip for just a moment at the sight of the dark flash in his green, beautiful eyes. “Tell me one thing, or I’ll continue on with my vile plans.”

“O-Okay?”

“Are you single?”

The second attempt came a few many weeks later. 

You had gathered about 75 tons of glitter bombs and were in the current process of making them one. You had plans of setting it off over Tokyo so that for practically the rest of eternity, the entire city would have glitter everywhere. The only thing is that you did have to glue the glitter bombs together because, well, no one made super giant ones.

“This is so annoying, there’s glitter everywhere, and I’m only ten glitter bombs in!” you complain to the ‘empty’ room but knowing full and well that Deku had appeared through the broken window at least five minutes ago.

“If it’s annoying to you, then shouldn’t you stop?” Deku replied and you grinned. 

He really couldn’t stay quiet, huh?

“Well, if it’s annoying to me, then that means every one of my victims will also find it annoying. Win-win situation.” you say, turning around towards him and winking. Facing back towards the glitter bombs you scowl, “stupid fucking glue gets everywhere, too!”

“Regardless, you know I can’t let you do that,” Deku said as leveled as he could although you swore you heard a laugh in his voice.

“Just try and stop me,” you reply back stone cold.

You stand up and watch as Deku stands up from the windowsill and sighs just a bit too heavily.

“Guess I have to,” he says and shoots out before you’re well prepared.

Typically, and probably in any other situation, this would have been the end. Pro Hero Deku had come at you with the speed and power as he took out any other Class F criminals, but unfortunately for him, and definitely fortunately for you that glue was EVERYWHERE.

Deku’s hand was stuck onto your arm, and your chest was glued to his stomach, and you swear you never quite got the strawberry Deku references until right now.

The perverted hero burned scarlet, his face practically simmering with heat as your body became undeniably stuck to his. You had to fight off the vindictive smirk, the practically snarling grin as you could feel something hot and heavy twitch at your hip.

“Fuck,” Deku wheezed.

“Fuck, yeah,” you grinned.

.

.

“WHAT?!”

.

.

Deku could not look you in the eyes for about 10 more interactions following that, but you counted that as a win. But undoubtedly, your starred and favorite memory of it all was something that occurred just last week of the current present events.

You had stood on top of a building, threatening the entire government of stealing (i.e., cutting off) the aglet of their shoes and sweaters and then removing all the laces so that it would result in their wasted time and entire humiliation!

“I don’t think most people even know what aglets are, to be honest,” Deku said from behind you. You turned around to see that he was standing there with an unsuppressed grin. “It’s not a good enough threat.”

You go unfazed by his judgement, choosing to instead bat your eyelashes and push your hair behind your ear.

“Not a good enough threat, and yet, you’re still here?” you tease, enjoying the way pink flushes to his cheeks.

“Where else would I be?” he says, and you have to ignore the way your stomach fills with butterflies. 

“You’re not cute when you flirt back,” you deadpan, biting your tongue harshly when he says ‘hey!’ “Enough chit chat, let me kick your ass now and then do what I need to do.”

Unlike probably what is 95% of the time, you made the first move today. 

You were on the offensive, jabbing and weaving, sweeping and punching. Deku’s green eyes were nearly black as he watched you, analyzing and taking in your movements, countering them all without so much of an issue.

“I still don’t get your quirk,” Deku grunted as his hand swiped at the empty air. “Why won’t you tell me?”

“So then you can turn me in to the government who are still salty about their aglets? I don’t think so!” you say with a laugh, rolling out of the way as Deku lunges forward. “Try again, baby, I have full faith that you’ll get it.”

Deku puffed out a chuckle and lunged again, his huge gloved hand swiping at you, with nearly accuracy despite your quirk being on. But… he wasn’t exactly perfect.

RIIIIIIIIIP!

Cold air hit your breast and your jaw dropped as your very exposed breast appeared before you and Deku. Pro Hero Deku had torn the breast of your costume, the costume that you purposefully did not wear a bra for because you had wanted this exact scenario to play out.

“DEKU!” you screech, pretending to be modest and covering your tit as Deku finally yanked himself out of staring at your breast and whipped around. 

“Oh my god, I am so sorry! I didn’t think that was going to happen! I didn’t even mean to look at your boob! It just sort of all happened too fast and it was very shocking! N-Not that you have an ugly boob or anything because actually I think you have a very great boob! But oh my god, I need to shut up please ignore me!” Deku spoke so fast in a matter of five seconds, and you couldn’t even tell him to come back as he sprinted away.

His ears burned red and you swore even as he was gone, you could still see the red of his ears illuminating the sky.

You laugh.

“What a perv.”

And so, we are back to the beginning.

Back to how you forced a local news channel to read your demands so that you could hopefully take your final bow as Mirage forever.

With the threat of having a machine that would make dogs bark at a frequency for hours on end until humans eardrums broke then bleed. You made your way to your typical building and hummed as you waited. 

The world outside was the same as always.

There were a few people out, a few cars driving through the street, and a few birds chirping here and there.

It was peaceful.

“Don’t you think the new reporter thing was a bit dramatic?” Deku chuckled from behind you.

You were used to him approaching like that, used to him trying to portray being elusive and cool. In your opinion, it just made him dorky.

“No such thing as being dramatic when I’m trying to go head to head with the greatest hero ever,” you respond back effortlessly. You spin on your heel and look back at Deku, who is leaning against a doorframe that he most definitely is slouching on so that the top of his head doesn’t hit the frame. “Hi, Deku.”

“Hi, y/l/n,” he says with a soft smile, one that's slightly victorious, one that makes your stomach knot in a pleasant way.

“Ah, you discovered my secret identity,” you observe, grinning as you begin approaching Deku. “Should I be scared?”

“Probably not, I don’t think I could do anything to you,” Deku sighs, pushing off the door frame and walking towards you too. “You’re pretty amazing, y/l/n.”

“Let’s prove that then,” you grin while zipping forward.

As if the both of you knew that this was the end of the line, the final confrontation, the battle this time was different. It was showy, flirty, full of spins and side steps, playing a game of cat and mouse while dodging and weaving. You laughed as blackwhip dissolved around your costume, and you frowned as he began using more of his power to get from point A to point B much quicker.

You’re not quite sure how it happened, what exactly you did wrong, or maybe Deku just finally figured out the pattern you used for your quirk because suddenly you were being tackled from behind. You shrieked as the two of you went down, his body flushed on top of you, his chest pressing to your shoulders. 

The both of you were heaving, panting, completely out of breath from the five minutes you took playing around. He holds your wrists in one hand, pinned above your head, and the other one is on your waist. You were trapped beneath him, unable to move the absolute unit of a man above you, arms and hips weak to his weight. You shoved your hips up, attempting to shift some of his weight off you, but you froze as he choked on a breath by your ear.

Your ass was pressed against something hard, thick, and hot.

Oh.

Ohhh fuck.

It was happening.

Holy fucking shit.

Your breathing hitches as you thrusted your ass up again, confirming you were grinding on what was definitely Deku’s hardening cock. And once again, Deku makes the prettiest, most embarrassed gravelly grunt at the back of his throat and you feel like every strand of resistance and strength snaps.

The hand on your waist pulls you even closer against his crotch, and there's lips pressing against your neck, and you absolutely lose it. 

He kisses your neck sloppily, teeth nipping at your exposed flesh, and you grind against him, moaning and thrusting back as your body feels like it's on fire. He wanted you! He wanted you and your plan to woo him worked!

“I’ve wanted this for so long,” you keen breathlessly. “Wanted you so badly, Deku.”

“Fuck,” Deku curses, his hips thrusting back against your clothed ass with power you couldn’t fucking wait to feel. “I wanted you too. Wanted you so badly, but didn’t think – holy shit.”

His hand that pins your wrists lets go of you, and moves to grab your jaw. You nearly fucking melt as his full lips slam against yours, and you moan as his lips move against yours. There’s something indescribable about how he’s kissing you, the want, the need, the months of suppressed tension bursting through every move and curve of his mouth. It doesn’t matter to you that you’re pressed up against the concrete floor, you feel like you’ve been placed into another world, an area where you can never come back.

Your arm reaches behind you and buries into his soft curls, you tug at them as your ass circles against his thrusting hips. His tongue slips into your mouth, and you whine at the hot, wet muscle in your mouth, and it sends your head spinning. You can’t take it anymore, you need him, want him flushed against your front.

“Can I fuck you?” Deku asks swollen lips pulling away from yours, his mouth frantic and trailing kisses up your cheeks and down your jaw. “Please, I wanna fuck you so bad. Wanna fuck you on the floor and against the wall. Can I make you mine?”

You nod your head frantically, unable to come up with the words to say in order to tell him yes.  

Deku laughs breathlessly and flips you over so that it’s your back against the floor now. 

And just like you want him to, Deku comes down to reclaim your mouth. Hot, open mouthed kisses, teeth tugging at your lips and hands grabbing your waist. His hands are huge against you filling up the space between your hip and your waist without an issue. Your legs wrap around his waist, feeling entirely small underneath him, but entirely ready to be fucked by him.

His lips move expertly against yours, teeth nibbling at your lips, mouth then sucking on your tongue. You can’t keep the continuous moans from leaking out, can’t keep yourself from staying quiet as your eyes flutter open and see green eyes so dark they look black, staring down at you with the intensity of a predator. 

You were his prey, and you would present to him at the drop of a hat.

His body is hot, heat rolling off of his hero costume in waves, making you feel like you were near burning against him. And the heat between his thighs sits at the bottom of your ass, thrusting up and grinding against you so that you don’t forget even for a moment that you are making him this way. 

“I always knew you’d have such a pretty moan,” Deku mumbles as his fingers find the zipper to your costume and begin to tug it down. His lips trail down your neck, biting and nipping at the newly exposed flesh. “Knew you’d look so pretty under me, waiting to be fucked into submission.”

The words spark something within you, your eyes fluttering as your hips grind just a tad bit faster and you whine. 

“Aw, is that what you wanted this entire time, y/l/n?” Deku asks, his grin pressed against your collarbone. “Wanted to be stretched out and fucked until you can’t anymore?”

“I want it,” you gasp, your fingers burying deep into his curls. “I want you, I want it, I want your dick in me already!”

“Not into foreplay?” Deku chuckles just a bit, tongue then tracing up your neck. 

“Oh I am,” you snap, fingers finding the zipper of his own costume. “You can find out later how much I’m into it, but right now, I have been wanting you for years, and you will not make me wait any longer!”

Deku only nods frantically, and it's a mess of limbs, sloppy kisses, and clothes as the both of you strip to nothing. 

Deku’s in between your legs, one hand pressed to the back of your knee, the other gripping what you believe is his dick because it makes everything in the world freeze as you see it. It’s huge, so thick that his hand wraps around it in a nice grip, and it long, curling up to his abs, curved and veiny. 

“Holy shit,” you squeak, your cunt already clenching at the thought of taking that in. 

“Are you ready?” Deku asks, the hand on your leg moving away for a moment as he cards his fingers back through his hair. “I don’t have a condom, though.”

“That’s fine, I don't care,” you dismiss his words, eyes too focused on the flush cock in his hand. “I don’t think I’ll live after you kill me with that anyways.”

Deku laughs just a bit, his dimples flashing as he leans in and kisses you deeply. You tremble underneath him, feeling so small pressed up against him, and you mewl when you feel the head of his cock pressing between your folds.

“Put it in,” you gasp, leg lifting and wrapping around his waist, “put it in! I want you to fuck me until I can’t walk, do you understand?!”

Deku nods, and with a sense of frantic need, his hand guides his cock into you.

It feels like you’re splitting in half. The girth of his cock stretching your walls out to the max, and he’s only going in. You scream loudly, both in pain and pleasure because it hurts so good.

“Take it, baby, take me all in,” Deku pants, his hips pushing out small, tiny thrusts to ram his cock further and further into your twitching cunt. “That’s i-it, holy fuck, that’s it! You’re taking me all the way in. F-Fuck… you’re so amazing! So fucking perfect!”

Tears are pouring out of your eyes, and your nails are tearing into his back, you sob slightly overwhelmed with his cock and the absolute pleasure of finally getting what you want and it being so much better than you thought. Your cunt throbs almost violently as Deku’s cock finally hits your cervix and your eyes roll to the back of your head as he thrusts in further, lips attempting to claim yours. 

“Fuck me, Deku,” you beg, hips beginning to slam and fuck up onto his cock. “Please! I need you!”

“Such a desperate little villain though,” Deku sighs, teasingly, giving you one strong thrust for good measure. It goes a long way though, the power behind his thrust and thighs promising you a bruised ass, thighs, and cunt makes your mouth water for more. “I need you to promise to never do anything like that again and be a good little manager for Kacchan.”

“W-Wha–”

“Be good and stop being Mirage, or else you won’t be fucked.”

There was no hesitation.

“Okay.”

And just like that, Deku’s soft smile curves into a knowing, fierce smirk, and you can do nothing as his hands press to the back of your knees and he begins thrusting his hips into you. And it takes you completely out of control. 

It’s a messy, frantic dance, your body holding onto his, your lips pressing against his, desperate and needy for his, and he is basically trying to imprint his body onto yours, the concrete, and the walls. Your bodies are so foreign to each other, and yet, when he fucks into you just a bit hard, just a bit faster, you come undone, back arching and toes curling as you sob his name.

It’s overwhelming to know that he can read you this well and for you to have never fucked him before. It’s empowering to see that he likes every forced and involuntary squeeze and clench of your cunt. He loved when your nails dug into his skin, raking their existence against the plane of broad muscles and scars. 

Deku curses your name as you clench around him, his hands moving to your jaw so that he can lift your face to kiss him just so. He kisses you with a heated passion, a need that strips your entire being bare, and his hips slam so loudly against you, the slicked wetness is squelching and slapping with every grunt and moan.

In and out his cock goes, and you praise him and his cock.

You praise him for making you feel so good, for stretching out your pussy with that fat cock of his. You beg for more, and more, and more. You want every snap of his hips to send new colors to your vision, and every echoing squelch of your meeting, sloppy sexes only adds to the blabbering, unmanaged sentences from your lips. 

“Harder, faster, more!” you beg, practically wailing against his shoulders, needing him more and more. The concrete hurts against your back, but you don’t care. You don’t care if he breaks your back, it’s a fall you’ll take. “Don’t hold back! Don’t you dare hold back!”

“Fuck, you’re crazy,” Deku gasps, his sweaty brow burying into your cheek. “I won’t though, I won't. Be ready, I’m not sure if you can take it.”

Before you can snap back that you can in fact take it, Deku’s weight falls heavier onto you and the angle shifts just slightly, and your words are ripped right out of your throat for a pitched, window shattering screech. Deku fucks into you with a new power, some untapped strength as greenspark falls from his skin as he ruins you for anyone ever again.

Your voice begins to scream out, the feeling of his vicious, thick cock snapping into you, shoving your shoulders further and further into the concrete was sending your head spinning. Your body is convulsing as he fucks you with new vulgar need and strength. But before you could scream your praises, Deku’s fingers shove into your mouth, and his other hand wraps around your neck, silencing your words and noises as he fucks up into you again and again and again.

“So loud, angel,” Deku smirks, fingers stroking and pinching your tongue as saliva pours endlessly from your mouth. His voice isn’t strained however, doesn’t have any indication that he’s out of breath or ready to tap out and that nearly makes you go insane. “I can’t wait to see everything that makes you look like this… you’re so pretty when you’re getting fucked.”

Your head is spinning, the heated tightness in your core clenching and throbbing as his conquesting cock never once stops or lessens. It just grows and grows and grows. His cock twitches in you, and your eyes roll to the back of your head as he lets out a deep moan. 

“Such a good and wet cunt you are,” Deku gasps as you gag against his fingers that press roughly against the back of your tongue. Your vision feels hazy, but you feel like you’re on cloud nine as his hand on your throat opens and closes, demonstrating his power over you. “I’m so glad you went through all this hard work to get me to fuck you.”

You can’t speak, so you nod desperately, you were so happy you did this too. 

Your hips buck up into him with sheer stubborn drive to get him to toss his head back and moan, you wanted to see him unhinged too. Your eyelashes flutter, as his hands remove themselves from your face, and they move to your hips to help you out. But the building tightness and demanding need in your cunt was growing louder, hotter, completely undeniable. Your teeth sinking against his skin as you whimpered loudly, absolutely pathetically as you shifted faster, fucking against him harder.

“I-I’m so close,” you manage to moan out, and a sharp escape of air comes from his nose at that revelation.

Deku nods, his head moving so that his forehead rests against yours as he looks deep into your eyes. “I need you to look at the way your belly bulges while I fuck you before you cum, I want you to watch it bulge as you cum.”

You whimper, the strain in your neck almost insufferable as you peer down at your hastily exposed stomach, and you nearly faint at the pornographic, near-insane image of your stomach bulging with his hammering monster of a cock. And just like that, the tight heat in you snaps without a hitch, and you come tumbling down from the heights of your building orgasm. White heat and light spread through your body, your jaw slacking as you moan loudly, screaming his name as you convulse against him, body entirely limp. Deku, who was barely hanging by a strand, completely loses it when your core clenches like a vice against him. 

Hot, thick ropes of cum spurt from his cock, his heavy, shaking gasps the only thing you can hear as he fucks into you once, twice more for good measure he collapses onto his forearms above you. It’s hot, almost too hot as he lays on top of you, the sticky fluid of his cum radiating against your already blazing walls, and for a bit, there’s silence.

Deku is the first to move afterward, and you whine as he pulls his cock out of your sore, abused pussy. You make a noise of curiosity then fear as Deku spreads your legs even more open and moves so that his head is face to face with your cum filled pussy.

“What are you–?!” you screech as Deku takes a lick out of your dripping cunt.

“Fuck, this does taste good,” Deku smirks as he once again licks your overstimulated pussy and you sob. “Besides, who said we were done?”

.

.

.

.

.

bonus! 

“Everyone, this is my girlfriend y/l/n y/n!” Izuku happily introduced you to his group of friends.

“What the hell?!” Bakugou screamed, thrusting a finger at you and all you did was laugh.

So much for not being stubborn, huh.

[hockeybabbler]

A Eulogy for a Terrible Place

Let me tell you about my rink.

Highland Ice Arena opened on December 14, 1962 and was a family business from the day it opened to the day it closed on October 15, 2022. It was, without a doubt, the second-worst rink I ever skated. Certainly Highland was the worst rink that was open year-round - the only ice I've been on of lower quality was a holiday rink at Seattle Center before the Key became Climate Pledge that was only open November through January, about the size of a Basketball half-court, and "resurfaced" only once per day after close and without the benefit of a Zamboni.

Highland was a step above that. But only just. Walking in the front door was like stepping back into the 90's. A look to your right, and you'd see their little pro shop, the NHL merchandise within slightly yellowed with age and using logos now featured on Reverse Retro jerseys. The rubber flooring was chipped and cracking, and hadn't been replaced in ages. Your walk to the rink was always dangerous because the mats rippled and waved in spots, creating tripping hazards. Looking up to the rafters, you could see the accumulated dinge, dust, and puck marks that the decades had built up.

And then there was the ice itself. Because their Zamboni drivers didn't turn off their water in the corners, there was a noticeable slope up and down when you skated laps. I think pebbled curling surfaces might have smoother ice. The roof leaked, necessitating buckets on the ice on more than one occasion. I once saw a ref attempt to repair a divot with a green plastic watering can. You had to be careful when you went to the benches, whether going through the gate or over the boards - there were a few spots where there were no mats, leaving exposed metal plates where the boards slotted in. There was also a smaller, second rink, which felt claustrophobic due to the walls directly on all sides of the rink, which was where stick n' puck normally was, the sound of pucks hitting the walls explosive in the enclosed space.

There were two locker rooms. One downstairs, where you'd expect it, behind the benches. One was upstairs. Yes, upstairs. If you used that locker room, you had to tramp down the stairs in your full gear, through the lobby, then out onto the ice. And that one was the nicer looking locker room of the two, likely because it was a later addition. The one downstairs legitimately looked like a scene in a prison movie, and not a nice one. There was a toilet in the middle of that locker room with no stall walls around it. Once, a beer league teammate said they found a turd in one of the showers, and I fully believe them. I once met another local beer leaguer who said they refused to use the locker rooms there, instead just changing in the lobby, which honestly sounds like a better idea than using either locker room.

Please don’t get it twisted: I am not shitting on the place. That was done for me, by an anonymous person in their locker room showers. No. I loved this rink. It was my rink. It may not have been the rink where I learned to skate (shoutout to the Vallco Rink, now known as the Cupertino Ice Center), nor was it the rink where I first really fell in love with the feel of ice beneath my blades (Sprinker Recreation Center, you were way too far away but it was worth the drive every time), but it was home for me from when I first moved into Seattle proper until it closed. It was where I forged an unbreakable bond with a friend who is now more like family (hey Jed!) and where I decided that it was past time for me to actually play the damn game of hockey. The place where I learned to play. Where I would nudge Jed at almost every song during public skate and say, "THIS IS MY JAM!" Where I would pet Ollie the rink dog during Zamboni breaks.

It was terrible, yeah. But it was home, and I loved it. Unfortunately, the disrepair of the rink was too much to handle. Apparently the boiler room was far from the fire code, and while it was owned by the original family, the fire marshal allowed it to be grandfathered in. Selling the rink would require the new owners to repair and retrofit it, a task with a price tag that exceeded the property's total value. So it makes sense that when Highland was sold, it was sold to developers who would tear down the rink and build up something new, something that suited their dreams and not those of the previous owners.

It's hard for me to wrap my head around the incredible loss I feel at having just lost this physical place at the same time that I am losing a virtual space which it is no hyperbole for me to say changed the trajectory of my life. That friend who became family, Jed, was a mutual follow of mine on Twitter before we happened to run into each other at a public skate at Highland. They realized it was me because I'd tweeted a picture of the rink. Jed is far from the only real friend I made on Twitter. Some helped me fundraise to get me to finish my degree. Some helped me when I was leaving my marriage, both financially and emotionally. They helped me to navigate the weird space of the quarantine, of pregnancy, of becoming a mother. They stayed through my terrible puns and shared my doodles and encouraged me to keep making things even when I thought my work wasn't worth sharing with anyone.

Twitter was and is, objectively, a terrible place. Instead of leaks from the ceiling you had random nobodies getting into your business. Instead of a turd in the shower, you might find a horrific RT on your timeline that you wish you could unsee. But like Highland Ice it was my home for a time, and I hope you'll forgive me for taking this metaphor a bit literally as it was my homepage on my personal desktop's browser. The moments of joy I found there sustained me through some incredibly tough times, and much like Highland Ice, I fear we may never see anything quite like it again.

Better options exist, both for ice rinks and for social media sites. They're just going to miss some of the old charm, and maybe that's for the better.