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twistedwriting · 23 days

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Leona Kingscholar Character Analysis

"Haha stupid lazy Lion go brrrr." No. Shut up and delete yourself from my sight.

I have many thoughts on Leona, but the strongest one of them is:

"I want to hug his younger self/his inner child."

I know it's inside of him, hurting and damaged. All he ever wanted was to be loved, to be appreciated, to be *seen*. A child that longed for love but was starved for so long that it got used to the emptiness inside and now, as soon someone tries to show affection, he'll respond with verbal biting.

He's not an asshole by choice. Keeping his distance is the best defense to avoid getting attached.

Outside of Book 2, there's especially one event where he genuinely shows that he just wants to be seen: The Fairy Gala event (or better said his Fairy Gala Vignette). Vil pushed Leona further and further, nagging to no end and beyond until, at some point, Leona lashed out: "I've BEEN helping you out, and all you've done is find fault with every single thing I do. I followed your directions, and what did it get me? NOTHING. Not the slightest bit of progress." It might be my own interpretation of his words but I wholeheartedly believe that the whole Gala story reminded him of how nothing he ever does/did was ever good enough. It didn't matter what he did, it would never be enough. Vil kept nagging him, people at home keep seeing him as nothing more than the second prince, he was never enough. Which is also a reason why I believe he was so "full of himself" when he got the Fairies to be completely whipped: It was attention and appreciation for his work, for *him*. The Fairies didn't know he was Royalty, they didn't know he was the Housewarden of Savanaclaw, they knew nothing yet they were there, showing him attention and how much they loved his doing.

They gave a starving child the food it desperately needed.

If you're being constantly proven that nothing you do matters, if everything you've done is not enough, you slowly but surely stop trying. You stop trying because it doesn't matter anyways. You loose motivation, you end up in an endless circle of self-hatred and lack of motivation. You know you could and you'd know it would be good but it wouldn't be good enough, it wouldn't please anyone. Their judgmental eyes, their lack of praise, the lack of attention suffocates even the smallest amount of self-confidence and the pride you had in your own work. You stop trying because doing nothing at all hurts less than knowing it wasn't enough, again. Leona is smart and I have no doubts that he'd be actually an admirable Housewarden with excellent grades if it weren't for this huge issue in his mind. Additionally to that, I truly believe that he hadn't any intention of leaving school. In Night Raven, he was at least *someone*, he was Housewarden, the highest position in Savanaclaw. At home, he was no one and he had to deal with his family. Falenas part of the family shined brightly while he was the shadow, a dark disappointment. A nobody.

So why leave school? Why leave the only place where you were someone?

Many also dislike Leona for what he did to Ruggie. I don't blame them, I can understand their point but I think they often miss a point in his action: He didn't (only) do it for the sake of hurting Ruggie. Ruggie was/is his right hand, the probably closest person in Night Raven (Or his whole life, if we're being honest). Ruggie could've sucked up to many people - Even if it was only for Leonas money, Ruggie could've crawled up Kalims (Idias or even Rooks) butt or if it was for power, he could've gone for Malleus. But he didn't. His (seemingly) firstchoice was Leona.

Leona, out of all people. Leona, the guy who starved.

And it was Ruggie, who saw Leona fail. Leona made a small mistake and their plan failed - And Ruggie knew it. He was there. So with all that has happened, the fact that Ruggie has seen his fall and I also believe that their very bond has turned uncomfortably sour in Leonas mind, so in the heat of events, there was only one solution: "If I fall, I'm dragging Ruggie down with me."

Additionally, I also believe that Leona instinctively took Ruggie simply because they could work things out in the case he was saved out of Leonas grip. Ruggie would have a problem with Leona for a certain period but in the end, he and Leona would still work together. In a slightly messed up way, he has shown confidence in their mutual trust (which has been proven later in Book 6).

Okay whew, now that I got my view on Leona out of my system, I'm adding some more Headcanons:

I can see him the kind of "I wanna unsubcribe of life but I ain't gonna do it myself".

One of the servants at home has a little daughter and she's the only one he's genuinely looking forward to see during holidays.

He pretends to not notice whenever something "disappeared" (via Ruggie) out of his room but knows. He just doesn't want to put himself nor Ruggie in the position of "You took that" (Secretly thinks "At least being Royalty has *some* positive aspects", aka helping Ruggie out with money without going out of his way to hand the money over to Ruggie. Kind of 'letting him hunt himself')

Has read an insane amount of books as a child (mainly to be by himself and escape reality).

If emotions overboil (which happens more often than expected from him), he lets them out when he's entirely alone (Still feels extremely ashamed after expressing emotions, even though no one noticed)

Does not own a single picture of himself - Neither as a child nor his current self. The only pictures/paintings existing are those his family wanted them to be done.

Despite saying he didn't remember how he got his scar, he knows. He knows and won't forget so easily (still has nightmares of it happening sometimes).

Everyone feared Leona as a child for the way he found his Unique Magic: As a child, he was practicing his magic when his father came a little too close to him and suddenly, the king experienced the very thing Ruggie went through: His skin began to crumble more by the second. Servants and doctors came rushing by, hoping to save the King but he would pass away shortly after from completely drying out.

I must add: I'm rather unhappy about the lost opportunity in Book 2, though. Leona is a well written character, but Disney didn't raise Book 2 high enough for Leona to reach his whole potential (in the game).

Edit: I forgot to mention that being compared to his brother countless times is bound to cause an unhealthy relationship with his brother, which can also result in further issues in Leonas' mental health. It doesn't matter how hard Falena will try to build up the relationship with Leona, they will (most likely) never have a "normal" sibling relationship.

#disney twst #twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland hc #twst hcs #twst headcanons #leona kingscholar #twst analysis

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cheapshrimpysheep · 1 year

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Hi!! i was wondering if you would take requests for first years in twisted. Something like their reaction to them arguing and the reader being like “oh you wanna kiss me so bad” during it. if not it’s perfectly fine!! thank you in advance if you do!

COMMENTS: I had some troubles with this one because I didn't quite understand what you were asking me. 😅 I asked a friend who consumes more romantic content than I do (which is practically none) and she told me about characters who don't know how to express their feelings so they annoy their romantic interest. Which I think would be out of character for everyone but Ace and even him I don't believe he gets to such an irritating point.

But what I understood could be that they were arguing because they were jealous but didn't want to admit it and so MC says something like that. So I went with that one. I hope it's good enough.

I hope you and all enjoy 😉

PS: I would have liked to have written some of Epel's lines in his dialect, but English is not my first language so I didn't know how to do it.

CHARACTERS: Freshmen (Ace, Deuce, Jack, Epel & Sebek)

TAGS: Fluff; GN Reader

WORD COUNT: An average of 300 words per character.

CONTEXT: He heard a rumor that you were seeing a dorm-mate of his that he doesn't like. He thought you would talk about it with him someday, but you never did. And the final straw was when he heard someone comment that you two had started dating. He goes to Ramshackle Dorm to clarify the matter.

The truth is: you were seeing this guy, yes, but only because he was one of, if not the worst student in the dorm and the Housewarden or Vice Housewarden asked you if you could help him study. And they promised you a reward if you could get him to improve his grades.

That student you started helping with his studies had a crush on you and he was the one who started the rumor that you two started dating.

You hear Ace knocking on your door like he usually does. When he doesn't walk right in without knocking as if this was his second dorm. You open the door and he looks sulky.

“So you weren't going to tell your best friend the news?” he asks you with a smirk.

What news? Did the Headmage give you more work without you knowing? Whatever it is, he doesn't seem to like seeing you `play dumb´. He enters and closes the door behind him. He takes your hand and leads you to the common room.

“Spit it out! What's the thing between you and that dude?” You don't really know who he's talking about until he says his name. You tell him about helping him study. “Study? That excuse is old. Even I already used that one.”

You tell him he can even ask Riddle and Trey, they're the ones who asked you for that favor. But he doesn't seem to believe you.

“Just tell me if you guys are dating or not!”

You sound almost disgusted telling him no, you're not dating that guy. And then you say: “And why are you so angry? Would you like to be the one dating me instead?”

He would have blushed if he hadn't been so caught up in the argument. He smirks at you again. “Well I would be much better than him, that's for sure.”

“Oh yeah? So why don't you prove it?”

“And I can! I could take you on the best date you've ever had!”

“So tomorrow at eight is fine with you?”

“More than fine! You will see! I... wait... WHAT?!” Now yes, he blushed completely. You chuckle. “O-OI! This is foul play!”

“You mean you don't want to go on a date with me then?”

“T-that's not what I meant. But... ha... ha ha HA HA HA... You know what? Well played!

You hear a knock on the door, louder than normal. You open the door and see Deuce catching his breath, as if he had run to your door. You tell him to go inside and get some rest in the common room.

“I need to talk to you.” You say you can talk when he catches his breath and you pull him into the common room.

“That guy you started seeing.” he says, after resting for a moment. He says his name. “Is it true that you two are dating?” You sometimes forget that he is the sincere and straight to the point type.

You tell him no. Of course not. You were just helping him study. Riddle and Trey asked you for this favor.

“Really? You can tell me if you're dating.” he tells you that with a slightly sad expression that he can't hide. You say it's true. That you don't even know why he would think you and that guy were dating.

He explains to you how he heard about that rumor. And as you reveal each other's point of view some dots are connected and you come to the conclusion that it could have been that same guy who started the rumour. And Deuce get pissed!

You calm him down and say that if you tell Riddle, it will be off with that guy’s head for sure. And while you calm him down, you end up holding his hands, that at that moment were fists. But he was still irritated.

“The nerve of that guy! As if you would ever settle for someone like that.”

“Do you think I would be better with you?”

“Of course! You deserve the best anyone can have! Not a jerk like that! I would treat you so much better! I would-” and then he realizes what he was saying. He gets all red and covers his face with his hands.

You hear a firm knock on the door. When you open it, you see Jack in a quite serious posture. “Hi (Y/N). I need to speak with you.” You let him in and the two of you go sit on the couch in the common room.

“What is your relationship with that guy you started seeing?” he says his name. And you say you're just helping him study because Leona asked you to. Something about him being an embarrassment to Savanaclaw and Leona not having the patience to deal with it. That you were better at that sort of thing.

He is silent for a moment. His expression impenetrable, he crossed his arms and closed his eyes. Pondering something. You ask what's going on and he opens his eyes and looks at you: “Are you two dating?”

What? Of course not! Why was he asking that?

“Tell me the truth! If you are then you made a really bad choice. That guy is one of those unruly punks of our dorm. You shouldn't be with him. That guy don't deserve you. You deserve better. Way better.”

“Better? Like you, perhaps?” you startle him. And he looked like he was blushing.

“I-I didn't... I mean... I like to think that I would be better than him, sure. But...” he rubs the back of his head. And you see his ears are back, like he's scared. Of your reaction maybe?

You hear a knock on the door. You open the door and Epel greets you sulkily. You greet him and ask what's wrong. “You! Something is wrong with you.” is what he answers you. “May I come in?”

You let him in. He closes the door behind him and takes your hand to lead you to the common room with him. “What's your thing with that guy?” You ask who, and he says the name of the student you were helping. You say you're only helping him study because Vil asked you to.

“Oh yeah? What are you helping him study? And why you?” he then says a few phrases in his dialect that you don't understand, but he looks upset. You tell him the truth and ask why he is questioning you.

He first answers you in his dialect and you don't understand, he then goes back to saying it in a way you understand: “Because I know you're dating him!” You look confused and start arguing with him about it not being true. And you can't argue anymore when he goes back to talking in a way you don't understand.

“If you are so pissed off because you wanted to be the one dating me then just admit it!” You yell at him, irritated.

“AND WHAT IF I AM?...” and he shuts up for a second because he realized what he just said. He looks down at the floor, lowers his voice, and clenches his fists at his side. “What if I am... I know I'm not that strong or tall, but it's not fair...”

You calmly place your hands on his face and make him look at you again. It's up to you to reassure him now.

You hear a knock on the door so loud it seems like the person on the other side is going to break it down. And then, in Sebek’s thunderous voice you hear: “HUMAN! YOU MUST OPEN THIS DOOR IMMEDIATELY AND LET ME IN!” You open the door and see him with his usual angry face staring at you.

“May I came in?” It's kind of funny that he asks permission like that despite how rushed he is. You let him in and he talks to you right there at the entrance. It's up to you to close the door.

“Report me about your relationship with the student you started seeing. Why did these meetings start and what is the status?” You try to hide your laughter by the way he's talking, like you're some secret agent on a mission. “Why are you laughing? This is a matter of the highest importance!” The fact that you don't even know why that questionnaire just makes the scene funnier.

After he tells you the name of the "subject" you tell him, still trying not to laugh, that Lilia asked you if you could help that student with his studies.

“Quite a coherent answer. But there is a logical flaw in his narrative. How could you, a human without magic, help a student from Diasomnia with his studies?”

You might not have magic, but that doesn't mean you don't know good study methods, which is why Lilia asked for your help. Sebek believes in you, but he's still dissatisfied.

“Very well. I won't doubt Lilia-sama's plans. But you still haven't told me what your recurring status with him is.” Recurring status? What was he talking about? “I WANT TO KNOW IF IT'S TRUE THAT THE TWO OF YOU ARE IN A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP!” What? Of course not! Where did he get that idea?

“Then what are the origins of your romance rumor?” What? Well, you don't know how it came about, but it's just that, a rumor and a lie. “Are you completely sure of that?” Of course you are!

If he really likes you, then it's because one of the things he believes you are is a person of integrity. So, he fully believes your word. You see him calm down and ponder for a few seconds.

“In that case...” and then he explodes “SOMEONE IS TRYING TO DEFAME YOUR NAME! Start a rumor about you having such a fool and weak partner. HA! I knew you would recognize your own worth not to settle for such a commoner.”

“So who do you think I should settle for?”

“NOBODY. You shouldn't just settle for anything or anyone. You should get what you deserve. And you certainly deserve much more than that worm.”

“Someone like you, perhaps?”

“Well, honestly, someone like you is even worthy of someone like my liege. But if you deem me worthy, THEN YES! I shall be the one you deserve!” he won't even try to hide it, he's too proud of himself and you.

If you dropped in here out of the blue and want to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX

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probably-writing-x · 3 months

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All The Firsts (Part 2)

Summary: So, could you write something about the reader being in her first relationship with spider (hbh) and her being worried about how she’s new at this?

Warnings: Mentions of sex / sexual acts, cursing, hints at anxiety / overthinking, Missy being a villain (I’m so sorry it just fits the story okay?)

Word Count: 5.8k

Author’s Note: Thank you for the love on part one!! Part three is already in the works if y’all want it??

You’d spent the whole weekend with Spencer after that. You cooked dinner together on Saturday night and bickered over when the pasta was done cooking. You watched his favourite movie and then made him watch yours. And on Sunday, you went to watch the sunrise over the water and then spent the rest of the day cuddled in bed. Spencer kissed you at every opportunity, like he was reminding you more and more that this was real. You still got nervous at the contact, still weren’t exactly sure if you were doing it right or if it felt as good for him as it did for you. But he seemed to know exactly what he was doing.

“I should really go back to mine,” You mumble, laying between his legs with your back pressed against his chest as he played video games.

He was propped up against the headboard, pausing the game when you speak.

“A few more hours won’t hurt,” He leans down to kiss your cheek.

“Yes, it will,” You laugh, “I’ve still not done my homework for tomorrow, and I need to be home at least some point this weekend.”

He grumbles and tightens his grip around you, “Homework can wait.”

You hum, tilting your head to peck his lips quickly, “I’ll see you in the morning.”

He groans, kissing you once more before releasing his grip on you.

Spencer gets up and walks you down the stairs, even standing at the door to watch you walk the few steps over to your house. He only closes the door when he sees you go inside.

If you thought about it briefly, this entire weekend felt like a fever dream. How had you gone from Friday to now? On Friday, you’d been preparing for your first date, with a guy you’d known for a week, your first experience of anything like this. And in the past two days, Spencer had shown you so much of what you felt like you’d been missing. Kissing you, holding you, making you feel like you were worthy of every piece of affection. Your heart seemed to backflip at the thought, the idea that this was reality.

“There she is!” It’s your Mum who speaks up as soon as you enter the house, “I’d have started to get worried if you were any further away than next door.”

You laugh, “Yeah, sorry, I thought I should come home at least once before the weekend’s over.”

“Oh don’t be silly, you’re young, you’re supposed to be out all the time,” She chuckles, “This is what we’re meant to be putting up with as parents.”

You’d always been close with your parents, mainly because they never had much to worry about. You got good grades, you were always home on time, you helped out around the house, you were never one to be out late partying or off somewhere they didn’t know. You were too much of a golden girl to be a worry for them. If anything, your Mum was a little relieved to see you doing something at least slightly out of character.

“So, Spencer?” She raises her brows at you, “Little Spec that you used to have sleepovers with, Spec that drives you to school every day. When did this happen?”

“Um,” You clear your throat, scratching at the back of your neck, “I don’t know, it’s new. I actually don’t know wh- I don’t know.”

“Oh I don’t understand you young kids these days,” She shakes her head, “Are you dating are you not dating? I’ll never understand it.”

“I should go and do my work before tomorrow,” You excuse yourself, making your way upstairs to your own room.

The curtains are open and so are Spencer’s across the way. He’s sat back on his bed still playing the same game he’d been playing before you left, fully engrossed in the screen.

Do your work!!

You send the text and set your phone down onto your desk, glancing through the window once more to see him smile down at the words on his screen. He looks up to you through the window then and his lips curl into an even brighter smile. You feel your heart flip once more.

———

The following morning, Spencer is waiting in the car like he always is for you. You hurry down and get into the passenger seat, dropping your bag onto the back seats,

“Good morning, doll,” He smiles when he sees you, leaning over to kiss you quickly, “Ready to go?”

“Yeah, ready,” You nod, plugging your phone into the aux.

You’d done this same journey a million times with Spencer. And yet something felt so different about being sat next to him now. He wasn’t just the boy you’d grown up with now, he was your first kiss, your first date, the first time you’d stayed over at a guys house, the first boy you were talking to your Mum about. He was filling in so many firsts.

In that moment, however, you have the realisation that none of those were yet to be firsts for him. He’d had plenty of kisses in his time, had more than enough dates, had a number of girls stay over at his house, his Mum had even met Missy. He’d done all of those things before he’d done them with you. And that was okay. You couldn’t exactly be annoyed at him for experiencing those things before you. What mattered that it was you now. Right? But what if those other girls had been better than you? What if they’d kissed better or been prettier or been more confident or…

“Where’s that head gone?” Spencer speaks over your overthinking, “Because if you’re about to start talking to me about your math homework I’m pulling the car over.”

“No, no, I’m just-“ You half-laugh, looking over to him, “Nothing.”

He smiles, keeping his eyes focused on the road as he moves his hand from the gearstick to instead rest on your thigh, his thumb smoothing over the bare skin below the cut-off of your shorts.

Your skin tingles beneath his touch, seemingly another first for you. But how many girls had sat in this seat? How many girls had he made that same move with? You swallow the lump in your throat and try to ignore it.

———

Spencer parks up in his usual spot and you both get out of the car, him handing you your bag as you do.

“Okay, I’ll see you at the end of the day,” You nod, slinging your bag over your shoulder.

“What are you talking about?” He laughs, reaching for your hand and interlocking your fingers, “Come on, come say hi to the guys, at least stay with us until first period.”

“I-“ You frown, “I never see you much in school.”

He laughs again, turning around to face you, “Got somewhere better to be, (Y/l/n)?”

“I- no,” You smile, following alongside him as he walks you over to the wall where a group of the boys were sat.

You didn’t recognise any of them, apart from Ant. The only other two you’d known were Dusty and Malakai but both of them had left now. Ant is sat with another girl, Harper, and she smiles when she sees you.

“Morning boys,” Spider says, “You all know (Y/n), right?”

“Yeah how’s it going (Y/n)? You’re never with us in the morning,” Ant points out, smiling so you knew he didn’t mean it rudely.

“Yeah Ant’s brain will probably combust if he’s with more than one girl at once, right buddy?” Spencer hits his leg and takes a seat on the wall opposite them.

This spot used to be an old bike park but too many kids got their wheels slashed so Woodsy gave up on the idea of having one. Now, it was just three walls all perpendicular to each other, with the remains of metal railings in the centre. You hop up onto the spot beside Spencer and he leans one of his arms around the back of you - not necessarily around you, just resting there as if he wanted to reassure you.

“How come you weren’t out on Friday Spider?” One of the guys asks him.

“I…” Spider glances at you and then back to the group, “Something came up.”

Harper looks at you across the way and smiles. She must be able to tell you’re nervous. You’re not sure if you should speak or let the others do the talking. Should you be making it more obvious that something was going on with Spencer? Were they all going to question him on it as soon as you left?

“Well, you should’ve been there.”

“Yeah, man, you missed a good party.”

They all go into explaining something that had happened at the party and you try to pick up on names you might recognise. Someone mentions Missy and you feel your chest tighten, a strange reaction, you think.

“Hey (Y/n), I think we have first period together,” Harper mentions, “Maths right? Do you want to walk over?”

“Yeah, yeah sure,” You nod, reaching for your bag.

You hop down from the wall and watch as Harper turns to kiss Ant before she leaves. Oh god. Should you do the same to Spencer. You turn around and look at him and he smiles.

“I’ll see you at lunch?”

“Um, yeah, okay,” You nod, “See you.”

He didn’t make a move to kiss you. But, then again, neither did you. Maybe you should have done. Will his friends think you were weird if you didn’t?

“Sorry, thought you might just want to get away from that boy talk for a while,” Harper leans in to say to you quietly as you’re both walking away, “You and Spencer are a thing then?”

“Oh, um,” You shrug, “Yeah, I guess so, it’s new so I don’t know.”

“You guys have been friends for like ever though right?” She points out, “He mentions you all the time.”

“He does?”

“Oh yeah,” Harper laughs, “Ant was telling me the other week the boys ask for lifts off Spider all the time and he always refuses. They call you his ‘golden girl’. I’m honestly surprised it took him this long to make a move.”

You feel the heat rise in your cheeks, suppressing a smile that you’d save for when you mentioned this to Spider later, “Yeah, I didn’t think anything would ever happen with us. But I’m glad it has.”

You walk through to class with her and go to sit with your friends on the table near the front. They ask you about your weekend and oddly enough you can’t bring yourself to mention anything about Spencer. What would you say? You knew a few of them silently judged him and that entire group for everything. They were so different to you guys. They were loud and outgoing and disruptive. And you guys got your work in on time and spoke about plans for after school or what the latest book you were reading was. They were… just different. And so you liked the idea of keeping the two things separate for a while. At least whilst you were still figuring out what exactly was going on with you and Spencer. You didn’t want to ask for fear of the answer not being what you desired.

———

By the middle of the day, you’re leaving your class for lunch. Your few friends walk out with you and go to turn down the corridor towards your lockers but, as you step out of the room, you’re stopped by someone else.

“Last out of class, I shouldn’t be surprised,” Spencer comments as his hand stops your wrist in motion, “Ready to go to lunch?”

The girls turn around and look at you with a frown, looking between you and him and then down to where his hand still held you.

“Um, I’ll catch up with you guys later,” You smile to them, turning around to Spencer before you can catch sight of their disapproving faces.

“I don’t think you’ve ever introduced me to your friends,” Spencer points out, “Do they know about me?”

“Everyone knows about you,” You laugh, “You’re not exactly known for being incognito around school. In fact, I’m pretty sure you hit one of them with a cake once when you started that food fight after the elections.”

He grimaces, “Yeah, might have to apologise for that one if I want to get in their good books.”

You like the idea of him wanting to impress your friends, the idea that he’d want them to like him. It makes you feel like there is some sort of permanence to this. Some sort of longevity that stretched beyond one perfect weekend.

“Here, you can put your stuff in my locker,” He mentions, taking your books from your arms, “I won’t let you forget it.”

Spencer closes the locker and then continues his walk beside you, his hand brushing yours every so often until his fingers lace with your own. Every little contact from him seemed like a gentle reminder that you really weren’t dreaming this. This was really happening.

You both wait in line to get your food and he places a hand on your back to let you go ahead of him. You still tingle under the touch. He asks you how your days been and tells you he’s thought of another film you need to watch. You ask him if he listened to the song you’d sent him last night and he said he’d already added it to his playlist.

He points out a table over in the corner and the two of you go over, sitting opposite each other.

“So this is technically our first meal out together,” You point out, pushing the rice around your plate, “You’re practically taking me out for dinner.”

“I always thought it would be more romantic than this,” Spider laughs, his leg brushing yours under the table.

“So you’ve thought about it.”

“Well I mean I-“

“There you are!”

Within moments, you’re interrupted by Spider’s friends clambering around the table. Ant sits down next to you and smiles, throwing down a wrapped sandwich and a bag of chips and a can of soda.

“Don’t mind if we join you, do you?” One of the boys sits beside Spider and nudges his arm.

“Um,” Spencer clears his throat, “Course not.”

He looks over to you but you’re already distracted by the chorus of conversation that starts up beside you.

Was this normal? The new normal? If you wanted to see Spencer did you have to spend all this time with his friends too? They seemed okay. But they were talking about a game you didn’t know, and another one of them brought up a school trip that was happening tomorrow. They all seem to speak over each other and yet all manage to understand. You eat your food, not really adding much to the conversation but smiling and nodding so that you at least looked like you were engaged. You wanted to be back with your friends in that moment - they’d be talking to you about a new film that they wanted to see, or a new album that was coming out and you’d agree and have something to actually input into the conversation. You could actually be part of the chorus. But right now you felt like a bystander.

———

Spencer drives you home, of course, and this time he comes round to your house instead of you parting ways at the car.

“I’m back Mum!” You call out as you step inside, tossing your keys into the bowl near the front door.

“Oh hello darling!” She beams when she sees you, “And Spencer! To what do we owe the pleasure?”

“I heard you were making burgers, I’m just here for the burgers,” He grins, “It’s good to see you.”

“Im sure you get taller every time I see you, and you’re only over the way,” She smiles up at him, “Well you’re more than welcome to stay for dinner, as long as you help me open the pickles. I was going to wait for Dad to get home but now you’re here you can try.”

“Of course,” Spencer smiles, disappearing into the kitchen.

“I knew it would happen eventually,” Your Mum turns to you with a smile on her face, one that reminded you of your own, “I knew it!”

You roll your eyes, “Oh stop it Mum. It’s still new, we’re just… seeing how it goes.”

“Got them!” Spencer steps back out into the hallway, “I left the jar on the counter.”

“Oh thank you darling,” Your Mum smiles, “Dinner will be ready in about an hour.”

“Should we…?” Spencer looks at you.

“Yeah let’s go,” You go up the stairs and he follows behind you up into your bedroom.

It was a bedroom of magnolia walls, one of which was covered in displayed vinyl covers, a vinyl player on a table in the corner beside your desk. Your bed was against the same wall as the window and Spencer sits down onto the edge of it as you set your bag down and check your appearance in the mirror above your vanity.

“It feels weird to do the whole ‘meeting the parents thing’ when I already know her,” Spencer mentions, flicking through the pages of the book you’d left on your bed, “Less nerve wracking.”

“Is it normally worse than that?” You ask, “Because that still seemed pretty uncomfortable."

"What do you mean? She loves me!"

"I dont know I just-" You shake your head, "I don't know what to say when people ask me about us. Harper asked about it earlier and I just don't know what I'm supposed to say."

"Well, there’s nothing you’re supposed to say,” He shrugs, “It’s up to you.”

“I think it’s up to you too,” You point out, stepping towards him.

When you’re close enough, he reaches his hands out to draw you in between his legs, looking up at you as you stand there, “Just tell them we’re seeing each other. That’s enough to shut them up.”

“Are we? I mean… are we seeing each other?” Your cheeks are heating up again.

Spencer squints at you, “Yeah I think I can see you.”

You hit at his chest, “You know what I mean.”

He hums and moves his hands around to the back of your thighs, guiding you onto his lap, your thighs straddling either side of his, “Yeah, I think we are,” He mumbles close to your lips, planting a kiss there.

You smile against his touch, your arms wrapping around his neck. He holds his hands on your waist, deepening the kiss. You still weren’t sure what you were supposed to do, but you let him take the lead. You just let instinct take over. Spencer moves one hand to your back as if he wants to draw you impossibly closer to him. He smiles against your lips and shifts just enough to lift you up, guiding you down onto the mattress. Your head drops down to the pillow, hair splaying behind you. He’s hovering over you, hand gripping your hip as yours grip his shoulders, him dipping down to kiss you again. There’s contact and friction and the unfamiliar feeling of his weight on top of you. And something in your brain seems to ignite in that moment.

“Spencer,” You whisper, feeling your heartbeat pound against your chest, averting your eyes away from his gaze, “I don’t want to- I don’t-“

He stops in his movements, his hand still on your waist, looking down at you until your eyes meet his, “(Y/n), I didn’t- you know that’s okay, right?”

He shifts his weight until he drops down to the mattress beside you, leaning up onto his elbow so that he doesn’t lose your eyes.

“We don’t have to do anything,” He assures you, “I’m not in any rush.”

You look at him for a second and take a deep breath, “But I know you’ve… you know, you’ve done all of that before. Isn’t it weird for you if I don’t want to do any of that yet?”

He shakes his head instantly, “Absolutely not.”

There’s a tightness in your chest and for some reason, the longer he looks at you the more you feel like you’re going to cry under his focus. You can feel your bottom lip threatening to tremble.

“(Y/n) you’ve not done this before. You’re not supposed to know what to do or how to act or what to say - it’s okay to figure all of that out. I just want you to feel like you can tell me when things aren’t what you want, okay?” He holds your hand in his, “And if you ever feel like you can’t tell me, that’s when we’ve got a problem we need to fix.”

You smile and nod at him, not sure of any words that fit the moment, not sure of any words that you could get out without your voice breaking.

“Okay, can I kiss you now?” He smiles at you, leaning in and pausing just inches from your lips.

When you nod, he kisses you softly with a smile on his face. You feel your heart skip the same way it had done after your first kiss.

———

Your Mum was surprisingly relaxed about you and Spencer being together. She didn’t even think twice about saying he should stay the night. Maybe she was just happy to see you happy. Or maybe her old dreams for you were finally becoming a reality and she just wanted to hold onto it. You eat dinner with your parents and then watch a film with them downstairs before Spencer’s eyes start to slowly lose their energy and you tell your parents you should probably go to bed. He used a spare toothbrush and waited for you in the bathroom whilst you got unready, he sat on the toilet and read the ingredients of your skincare - stumbling over the complex spellings. He followed you out and back into your bedroom, closing the door behind him gently.

“Okay, full transparency, I normally sleep naked,” He raises his hands as if he’s surrendering the information.

You laugh, “Well, thanks for telling me.”

“But I can sacrifice that freedom for tonight and at least wear boxers,” He nods, pulling off his t-shirt and hanging it over your desk chair.

He’s toned and his muscles seem even more so defined in the dim light. His shoulders are broad and seem to contort so intensely that it makes the soft features of his face look almost misplaced on him.

“Are you staring at me, (Y/n)?” He grins, stepping towards you.

“Just-“ You swallow the lump in your throat, “Looking.”

“Looking?” He cocks a brow, wrapping his arms around your waist as soon as you’re within reach.

He buries his face into your neck, planting a soft kiss into the crook before tightening his arms and lifting you from the ground. You let out an involuntary squeal and wrap your arms around him as he carries you over to the bed, planting you down on the side closest to the wall before dropping down onto the mattress beside you. His arm is already outstretched, waiting for you to tuck in against his chest. You lay there and feel his heart under your head, swirling patterns with the tip of your finger around the bare skin of his torso.

“So I wanted to ask you something,” You take a breath, “How does this all work now? Like… if we’re… whatever we are… how does it work at school?”

“Do you mean with lunch? I’m sorry they all came over and sat with us, it’s just a force of habit and they probably didn’t think anything of it but-“

“No, it’s okay,” You say softly, looking down at a crease in the sheets on your bed, “I just mean in general - lunch, classes, before school - if we’re… i mean, should i be with you the whole time?”

“Do you not want to be?” He chuckles, “Because if I’m keeping you from-“

You lean up onto your elbow and roll your eyes, “That’s not what I meant!”

He laughs again, brushing your hair back over your shoulder, “There’s no rule book, (Y/n). I want to see you as much as I can but that doesn’t mean you should be worried about having to spend all this time with my friends too.”

“I know but like… Harper’s with you guys,” You shrug, your index finger drawing circles on his chest, “Would they think it’s weird if I’m not with you?”

He leans up just enough to press a kiss to your forehead, dropping back down onto the pillow before he says, “They can think whatever they want.”

He tightens his arm around you and pulls you back into him, wrapping both of his arms around your body in a tight embrace.

“We should get some sleep,” You mumble into him, arm draped over his torso.

It was strange to you how quickly you settled into contact with Spencer. You’d never done anything like this. And yet when he held you, when he touched you, it felt like it was just natural. It wasn’t as scary as you thought it would all be. Sure, some parts of it still were. But you weren’t as scared as before.

———

The following morning, Spencer leaves early to go and pack a bag. There was a school trip this week - in these cabins in the woods, surrounding a vast lake. All of your year group were going and more often than not it was an opportunity to hide drink and add to the complex web of gossip that already existed. You were almost packed anyway, putting the last couple of bits in, a book for when you got bored, a notebook and a few pens, an extra outfit just in case.

He texts you to make sure he’s not forgetting anything and then you go downstairs to meet him. He drives with his hand on your leg, singing along to the throwback playlist you’d queued. He pulls into his parking space and the bus is already waiting as students file on. His friends are still hanging around outside, yelling at him to come over when they see him get out of the car.

“I think I’m going to meet my friends on the bus,” You mention as you’re walking over, feeling a little nervousness in your voice, “Is that okay?”

Spencer looks at you and smiles, “Of course it is.”

He glances at his friends momentarily and then leans in to kiss you softly - it was quick but he didn’t rush, squeezing your hand before he heads over towards the boys. One of them swings his arm over Spencer’s shoulders, saying something incoherent before glancing over at you and grinning. You make your way onto the bus and go to sit in the few seats your friends were already occupying. They ask you if the Spencer White had seriously just kissed you outside and then complain at you for not telling them sooner. They weren’t as judgy as you’d expected. More surprised. They want to know how it happened, when it happened, was he a good kisser?

Spencer and his friends all pile into the bus and stumble over each other to get to their seats. They’re loud and take up space and your friends seem to exchange a glance between each other that they’re almost hiding from you. Like they want to complain but figure you’re not the one to complain to.

Spencer sits in the seat behind you and your friend, Ant sitting in one of the seats opposite as the other boys fill in the space. Missy and Sasha walk on, taking the row behind Spencer. You realise this is the first time you’d properly seen her since you and Spencer had got together. You hadn’t thought about it enough, clearly. But when you see her sit down you feel your stomach turn a little. She’d done all of this before. With Spider. Had he done all of the same things with her? Had he taken her to the same spot to swim? Had he fallen asleep watching a film with her? Had he kissed her the same way? She might’ve been better than you were, too. She was more experienced. She knew more of what to do, probably more confident in doing it too.

“So, our boy Spider’s in for a fun trip,” Ant wiggles his brows at his friend, “Should we be expecting a pregnancy by the end of the week?”

“Fuck off Ant,” Spencer returns quickly, and it’s as if you can feel his eyes burning into the back of your head.

“Come on, I’d be a good uncle!” Ant defends.

You glance over your shoulder and see Spencer laughing at him, a bright smile on his face. He turns over to you and rolls his eyes, his smile not faltering. You feel the heat in your cheeks again.

“Spider with a kid?” Missy laughs outwardly, “He’d give up after a few months, might not even make it to the birth.”

“Yeah I think Spider could be used as an example of why contraception is a good thing,” Sasha adds.

You turn around a little, like you want to tune into the conversation. They thought so little of him.

“I wouldn’t speak so soon, our boy’s married off now,” Ant raises his hands and he looks at you with a smile like he is reminding you he means well.

Harper hits at his arm as she sits down as if hoping it would take back what he just said. She looks at you and shakes her head.

“Married off? To who?” Missy persists.

“(Y/n).”

One of the boys says it but you don’t know which one. You feel your stomach churn again and that strange sort of numbness in your body where you wish you could just disappear into the seat beneath you. You didn’t like being the centre of attention like this. And it seemed to be a new common occurrence now that you were with Spencer.

“(Y/n)?” Missy doesn’t laugh but she might as well do, like it’s the most surprising news she’s heard, “You must be joking.”

Nobody says anything at first. And you feel the urge to get up and pretend this had nothing to do with you. You could just go back to being invisible, to existing away from the conversations of these people. To no longer be a topic of their discussion.

“Why would that be a joke?”

Even when you say the words you’re convinced they haven’t come from you. Surely not. You wouldn’t say anything. You would just sit there and not say anything. But you had done. And now even more eyes seemed to be on you.

You turn around and Missy is looking at you directly. Her arms are folded, her head cocked to the side, her eyebrows raised just slightly as if she’s analysing you.

“You’re smart, right?” She shrugs, “Shouldn’t take you long to figure it out.”

You don’t say anything more, turning back to the front of the bus. Your friends look at you but dont say anything and you feel Spencer move behind you as if he’s going to say something. But he doesn’t. He sinks back into this seat and the boys carry on a conversation like nothing has happened.

———

You’re in assigned rooms for the trip. And it’s just your luck, isn’t it? You, Harper, Amerie and Missy.

“Well, this looks cosy,” Amerie says as the four of you step into the room.

It’s a typical cabin bedroom, walls of wooden slats and a roof just the same. A wooden floor decorated with an aged carpet rug that was fraying at either end. There’s a window on the far side, a single pane that looks like it could be made of plastic. It looks out over to the water, seemingly a redeemable feature of the setting. There are two bunk beds, one either side of the room, either side of the window. The mattresses are thin, the pillows even thinner, blankets folded in a square on the ends of the bed beside a rolled up towel.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding,” Missy grumbles, dropping her bag down onto one of the bed, “This can’t get any worse.”

“Yeah, it can’t,” You mumble, sitting down on the opposite mattress.

Missy looks over at you as she sits down, taking a deep breath.

“Missy, don’t start something,” Harper says quickly, glancing at you with a sympathetic furrow between her brows.

“I just-“ Missy raises her hands as if gesturing that she came in peace, “I want to know what Spider’s told you. I mean, I dated that guy. I know what he’s like. What’s changed that he’s suddenly got to you?”

“Got to me?” You frown, “What do you mean?”

“He spoke about you a lot and when i asked him about it he said you two were just friends or whatever,” She shrugs, “Like, he told you he could never imagine seeing you like that.”

“Missy,” Harper’s voice is more of a warning tone now, like she can see exactly where this is going and what’s to end up ahead of it.

“Im just saying, he used to tell me he felt sorry for you - so is that what this is? This is just him feeling really, really sorry for you?”

You feel a lump form in your throat and you can’t figure out the right way to respond. What could you say? What did she want you to say?

Before you can say anything else, there’s a knock at the door. Amerie goes over to open it, mumbling something about it being a relief that something would break the tension.

“Fucking terrible timing Spider,” She winces, stepping aside at the doorway as if opening up the room.

You look over and he’s stood there. His hair is flopping on either side of his forehead, the smile on his face faltering at the sight. You and Missy sat opposite each other, your mouth empty of any words and your eyes brimming just enough with tears that hadn’t fallen. That lump still in your throat making it feel like it was impossible to breathe.

“(Y/n)?” He frowns, glancing between the girls as if he’s hoping at least one of them will give him an answer, “What’s happened?”

#heartbreak high #spencer white #heartbreak high spider #heartbreak high imagine #heartbreak high one shot #heartbreak high drabble #heartbreak high blurb #heartbreak high fic #spencer white x reader #spencer white x you #spencer white x y/n #spencer white fic #spencer white imagine #spencer white drabble #spencer white blurb #spider x reader #spider x you #spider x y/n

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selfloverrrrrr · 4 months

Note

Gurl i love your yandere jjk fics ❤️❤️can you maybe do a noncon/babytrap with megumi or yuta?

Both won't be that bad~

Warnings : smut , heavy smut, unprotected sex, Noncon, Kidnapping, physically and emotional abuse, biting, torture, size difference, Yandere, protective, jealous, obsessive, manipulative....

( All characters are aged up/18+)

Masterlist

Minors Do Not Interact

Read the warnings carefully....if you don't like my stories block me not report

I'm a student of jujutsu high Tokyo. I'm a first year.... in grade four. Gojo satoru is the one who took the responsibility to make me understand my cursed energy and how to use it. Cause I can't use it properly. So we're best friends... Me, Yuji, Megumi and Nobara. The second year students are also good friends with me. I trust them too.

It was just a normal day at school. It was raining so heavily. I didn't brought umbrella with me. I was late for returning to the droom because of some work. Every students left. I was the one. I was standing in the front door of jujutsu high. Suddenly heard a voice "hey y/n... you need help?" The voice said. I looked at my side. It was Megumi. "Oh... actually I forgot my umbrella today" I replied. "We did too" another voice said. I looked at other side and it was Yuta.

" but we have to go you know... cause it's almost the droom closing time" Megumi said. " OMG really?" I asked. " Yeah... and we have to go without the umbrella you know " Yuta replied. "Then I have to go without umbrella too" I said. Then three of us went out of the school.

We just reached the droom. We were infront of my room. We all were drenched in water. "Thank you guys for coming with me" I said to them. Then I turned around to unlock the door. My dress and specially my skirt was sticking with my body. They started at my ass when I was unlocking the door. When I unlocked the door they both looked at each other and pushed me inside and locked the door.

I looked at them confusedly. " Y/n...sit on the bed and do whatever we want you to do" Yuta said. My body automatically did what Yuta said. I was confused then I saw Yuta copied inumaki's technique. No no no.... that's bad.... it's bad!!!

They both came towards me. Suddenly Megumi took off my skirt. "W-what are you doing" I spoke. "Spread your legs" Yuta said. My legs automatically spread. I looked away with shame. I don't know why is this happening.... Why are they doing it. They were too fast. I didn't even noticed when they took off my and their clothes.

"get on your four" Yuta said and my body did. "Please I don't want this" I said. Megumi stand infront of me and Yuta stand behind me. " now be a good girl and give Megumi a blow job" Yuta continued " Do. It." He said. I squeezed my eyes. Tears flowing down. I opened my mouth shakingly and took Megumi's dick inside my mouth taking the whole length in slowly. It was too big. Megumi's breath hitched. He threw his head back mouth wide open. I slowly sucked his dick and his legs shook. I bobbed my head up and down. His tip was poking the back of my throat. He grabbed my hair and started bobbing my head up and down faster. "Oh god...oh god.... don't...ahhhh... don't stop!!!!" Megumi moaned out loudly. He was bobbing my head up and down faster and faster. He suddenly felt that Megumi was close. In a few minutes he came inside my mouth. He grabbed my chin "Yuta senpai....tell her to swallow" Megumi said. "Swallow it y/n" Yuta said. I squeezed my eyes shut and swallowed Megumi's cum.

Yuta flipped me over. Then he lined himself with my entrance. Yuta pushed his whole length in one slide and I scremed with pain. He didn't even give me time to adjust his size and started thursting in and out roughly. I was screming loudly. His huge dick was giving me too much pain. He started giving me hickeys on my neck and chest. His thursting getting faster and harder. My whole body was shaking. He was moaning too. The way his dick was touching my g-spot make my back arch. It didn't take much time and I came. As I came that smirk again played on his lips.

I felt his dick started throbbing inside me. " Senpai please...not....not inside" I begged in a whisper because I didn't have the power to speak. It was too much for me. When my warm walls clenched around him he moaned loudly. In a few minutes he came inside me. He slowly pull out.

They both came towards me. Yuta stroked my hair and Megumi cupped my face. "Don't worry y/n we'll protect you and love you... We both loved you so much. Then we thought why don't we both have you.... We'll love you and now... you are ours" they whispered in my ear.

Ik it was a short story...but I was running out of ideas...lol💀 I'm sorry...but I'll post like this more...and not gonna make those this short

Give me your requests guys...

I love when you give me your requests 💕

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stevie-petey · 2 months

Note

I know you just dropped a new chapter but I have a blurb if you wanna write it. Could we see others perception of bug. Like Mrs. Clicks class, bugs just chilling and doing her work while there are people so entranced by her and she doesn't even know it. Like Robin, Steve, Jonathan, Nancy, maybe Eddie 👀

ooooo i LOVE a good character study thank u for this request !!

enjoy <3

"your book report isnt bad, but..." you sigh, trying not to let your disbelief of how horrible the paper is show. "it could use some work."

jonathan nods at you solemnly. the librarys florescent light burns down upon his shame. "be honest, how fucked am i?"

"... pretty fucked."

the boy covers his face with his head and groans, causing the librarian to harshly shush him. its the middle of study hall, the entire section is overtaken by a crowd of kids either pretending to study or silently mourning their grades.

youre the only one actually doing any work, jonathan has long since given up on his stupid essay. english has never been his best subject, youve always basically written all his papers for him in exchange for math help. its been a good system.

until goddamn mrs. greer caught on and threatened suspension.

"its okay, maybe i could try and copy your writing style?" you suggest, but jonathan only responds by dropping his head onto the table. he doesnt even know what his writing style is. you rub his back in soothing circles, hopeless as well. "okay, yeah. i tried."

robin buckley sits a few seats away from you and jonathan. she watches you curiously, eyes narrowed at the hand on the boys back. she doesnt quite understand your relationship with jonathan. truthfully, she doesnt really pay much attention to the guy. she thinks hes cool, sure, maybe quiet, but youve always interested her more.

jonathan says something to you, which you laugh at, and again the librarian shushes the two of you. jonathan ducks his head down, embarrassed, but you only giggle with a flushed smile on your face. you try to hide the smile, though even robin knows that its impossible to hide a smile like yours.

youre wearing a soft purple sweater today, a flannel far too big for you covers your shoulders, and robin desperately wants to ask you where you got it from. shes always wanted to talk to you, but fear has stopped her from ever getting too close.

she isnt sure if the fear is from your beauty or from how genuine of a person you are. youre known as hawkins sweetheart, youre practically untouchable, and robin doesnt think youd like someone like her. shes awkward and annoying and speaks too fast and talks too loud.

eddie munson really hates the library, but he hates hawkins high even more. he'll be damned if he has to spend another fucking year here. so here he is, pretending that he knows what the fuck hes doing as he starts on one of his long overdue assignments. theres thirty he needs to hand in for one class alone. hes fucked.

it doesnt help that someone behind him keeps giggling.

he turns in his seat, ready to tell the girl to shut the fuck up, but then he sees that its you. he freezes, his anger suddenly gone.

youre the girl who loaned him a pencil last week. eddie had been so nervous for the exam that he had forgotten a goddamn pencil. he had panicked, he really couldnt afford to fail, but mrs. greer wouldnt let him get up to find a new one.

eddie had been close to tears, embarrassed and overwhelmed, when you had tapped his shoulder. "here,"

in your hand was a pencil, offering it to him. eddie took it from you, relief flooding through him, and he gave you a curt nod before frantically starting the exam with five minutes wasted.

eddie never actually thanked you for that. in fact, he had completely forgotten all about it until he saw you later that day talking to mrs. greer to arrange a time for you after school to retake the exam. apparently you also didnt have a pencil ready that day.

you had given him your only pencil, knowing youd fail the exam, just so eddie wouldnt.

so eddie turns back in his seat, grips your loaned pencil that he still has, and goes back to his assignments. your giggling carries over to him, and the sound is a pleasant one now. all things considered, youve got a cute laugh.

nancy wheeler stands in the romance section of the library, waiting anxiously for steve harrington. hes late, he promised her hed be there right after lunch, yet she stands alone.

she can hear your laughter from where she stands. she peers around the corner, sees you with jonathan, and she rolls her eyes fondly. youre always together, but she does find it cute. youre sweet together, in an old, married couple kind of way.

jonathans eyes drift from your laughing frame to nancy. she sucks in a breath, caught, and he raises an eyebrow at her. hes intrigued, wonders why shes staring at you and him, and nancys cheeks burn. she doesnt really talk to you and jonathan, she hasnt for a long time.

nancy turns away awkwardly and pretends that she hadnt seen jonathan at all.

steve sees you first when he enters the library, late and out of breath. well, he hears you first, and he smiles even before he can understand why. he knows you hang out in the library with jonathan, hes expected you to be there, but its still somehow a pleasant surprise.

youre head is thrown back, mid laugh, and steve shakes his head at you. youre always smiling, always kind, always lovely. he sees the paper jonathan has you reading for him and steve supposes that eventually youll be trading english essays in for marriage licenses.

its inevitable.

who wouldnt want to marry someone like you? steve knows he does, and he finds nancy waiting for him in the romance section, and he thinks hes finally met your match.

#ask #anon #m speaks #come home blurb #set before season 1 !#m's writing #if i use the eddie scene word for word in a season 4 chapter later pls pretend i didnt <3 #the “your match” was intentional btw

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yanderederee · 1 year

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yandere!mitsuya takashi x crush!reader

tw: stalking, obsession, threatening remarks, cursing, gaslighting, your normal yan things♡

I’ m not too proud of this piece, but I can’t bring myself to discard. So, here it is if you like it.I also planned to add more friction and more stalking bits but :( I thought it ended on a cute note and didn’t have the heart to keep going. Enjoy what you can♡

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

You had been on Mitsuya’s radar for a long long time now.

Ever since grade school, you both ran with different crowds, so it was hard to get close to you. For years, Takashi has watched you from afar. He knows more about you than anyone, he would bet.

He knew what foods you prefer, which foods you hated, and how you like them seasoned. He knew your favorite shows, he watched them all. Which character troupes you fall for (even knew that ‘Big brother type” guys were your thing), your love language, and how you choose to spend that love. he even keeps track of your monthlies … He knew your size in clothing, down to the specific measurements. Don’t ask how. He knew the shampoo you used, how often you showered—- but still, it was never the right chance to actually talk to you.

Mitsuya Takashi was a fool.

He told himself this every, single, day. He was a fool for not befriending you sooner, before you grew into a relationship with some idiot. It made his blood absolutely Boil.

Mitsuya Takashi fucking hated your boyfriend.

Mitsuya Takashi hated your boyfriend more than absolutely anything. At first, he assumes is was a little crush. A fling even, between you two. I mean, he was an obvious dope. No good qualities about him and it was obvious that as time went on, you wanted less and less involvement with the relationship.

It was also obvious you were scared to leave.

He was furious when he would see the two of you holding hands when you’d walk to school, or go on a date. He wasn’t mad at you, you only craved attention. And it was only fair that you should be admired. But he would damn anyone who dared to take you away from him.

It took time, but Mitsuya found a way to control his rage when we witnessed the two of you together. He had been patient for so long, he could wait for this stupid fling to pass.

It was weird though. Mitsuya really did know everything about you. He could tell when you grew bored of a subject in class, he could tell when you lose interest in a series after it became mundane, he knew when you would start to wander. And he could see it, clear as day on your face.

You were becoming more and more impatient, the longer your relationship went on. Of corse he didn’t know all the details, but he did know that you weren’t into it anymore. He knew you were strong enough to break up with the fool anytime you wanted. So why didn’t you?

That thought kept tripping Takashi up for a few days. He too was growing impatient. What was taking you so long to drop the sack of shit?

He simply couldn’t understand. Until one day, you came in with a look he had never. Not once. Seen on your face before.

Fear.

Alarms start to blast in his ears. What did you need to be scared of? Why were you looking over your shoulder like you were avoiding someone? Like you were trying to avoid someone. Like someone was following you.

You’d never caught Takashi stalking you, even an after all these years. He was good at what he did. So this was all the more concerning to him.

By now, you two were older and it was easier to talk to people outside of your group troupe. But he still couldn’t tell if now was the best time to try threading himself into your life. He weighed the options over and over.

There’s nothing to lose, he concluded. Worst case scenario you ignored his friendly advances. Sure, it was better for you to not even know who he was than for you to consider him a creeper, but he was determined.

Mitsuya took note of the times you were and weren’t around the parasitic form that loomed over you, and decided during lunch would be the best opportunity.

“Ah.. um, y/n, right?” Takashi called out to you, gently. You turned, full attention to his lilac gaze. “Yeah.. um… Mitsuba, right?” You asked with a kind smile. A tinge of pain hit him, but he recovered with a playful laugh. “Close, Mitsuya. Mitsuya Takashi.” He introduced himself with a casual bow. You did the same, and waited for him to continue his inquiry.

“Say… you like Tokyo Mew Mew, right?” He asked. He knew you were into it, you had a cute little Pudding* figure dangling from your school bag. It was basically public knowledge. You blushed at his question. It was a bit childish, and being into anime at this time was target enough for bullying. And Mitsuya Takashi looked like a bully.

“I guess…” you muttered, looking away. “Hm.. my little sisters are really into it, you see…” he mentioned, taking in your figure this close nearly made his heart beat out of his chest. He could actually smell you. Touch you, if he was so daring.

“Well, I mean, they really want to see the new movie that’s coming out. I don’t really know anything about it,” he lied. “They said they’re too embarrassed to go with me, and my mom’s too busy with work to take them..” he rubbed the back of his head as though he was about to ask something of you.

Unsure of how to respond to this complete stranger, you shift your gaze between your fiddling hands and his chin, unable to meet his eye.

You knew better than to do that.

“So I figured since you like it, yo-“ before he could fulfill his master plan, you paused him from talking further by placing your hand up gently.

“I’m sorry… I have to go…” you bow, your gaze shifting between something else entirely, and your fiddling fingers.

He could read your face as clear as glass: you were uncomfortable.

Scared.

Mitsuya narrowed his eyes, testing to see if he could tell where your gaze was wondering to. He couldn’t possibly scare you that much, could he?

“Oh, right… um, well, here,” he said sheepishly. “You can still have the ticket, I don’t think I’ll see it on my own. Consider it an apology for taking up your time.” He gave his best charming smile, pushing the movie ticket into your hands before you could refuse. Oh god, he almost gasped at the feel of your soft hands…

Your hands were warm, from all their fiddling. A little clammy, given your nerves. But so soft. Your hands were so soft and he didn’t want to let go. This was definitely a test of his willpower. But the touch lasted less than two seconds, before he traced his finger tips against the back of your nail beds to release you.

Immediately though, as though his touch was painful, your eyes widened like saucers. That same scared look took over, and your gaze again drifted. He pretended not to notice, instead turning on his heal to follow your gaze. “See ya,”

Making his exit, he followed your gaze to a sickening figure that shadowed the hall. The bastard himself; your boyfriend. Mitsuya knew how to read the way he was looking at you. The way he was glaring at you. At you, Mitsuya seethed. He’d expected to see the son of a bitch’s glare directed at him, if anyone.

That glare.

Takashi had to physically take a breath to hold back the blooming hate in his chest.

How Dare he look at you like that?

Mitsuya reminded himself of his surroundings after someone called his name, and suddenly everything was back to full motion. He hadn’t realized how blinded he was just a moment ago.

Still. The gears in his head were processing full throttle. What was he glaring so disgusted about? Why did you force a smile and apologize so sincerely to him? When you had done nothing wrong, what was he obviously blaming you for? And why was it that in one of the hottest days the week forecasted, you had on your long sleeve uniform top? You almost stood out amongst the school of sweaty teenagers.

Slowly each hint lined up perfectly, but still no evidence. There needed to be proof. He couldn’t just kill someone without good reason—-

well, he could, and he Definitely Would.

In fact, he might.

That look he gave you was reason enough.

Despite what one might think, Mitsuya Takashi was a gentleman. He truly loved you. Fully and unconditionally. He’d walked you home from school practically every day. Every day he could, revolving around his sisters and gang, of course.

He could mostly only check on you when you were sleeping, and would leave just after. He never spied on you while changing. Takashi wanted to wait for that.

His heart couldn’t take it, he decided a long time ago. But that was a long time ago.

A lot was taking up his attention these days, though. Toman’s been having a lot more challengers, and Luna was just starting to get into harder mathematics. And Takashi was nothing short of a team player. The best big brother. He had lots of responsibilities, yet he couldn’t help fussing over you too.

Now look, Mitsuya really did want to walk you home everyday. He used to, in fact. But there was just too much he was forcibly needing to attend to. His family always came first. And once the time was right, you would become part of that family. And until then, he had to keep up appearances, responsibilities, and the gang.

Today, Mitsuya decided he had the time to walk you home, too. You walked home with the parasite, but he did like the idea of finding out where he lived, pay a visit perhaps. Unfinished business, and all. He walked a distance, and made sure to keep unseen, until the walk home became a detour to a crowd less street.

That was the only explanation for how he didn’t know about all of this until .. now? Right fucking now?

“Are you trying to hurt me that badly? Really?” your boyfriend sighed, angry and teary eyed.

“No, it isn’t like that,” you tried to explain. “He didn’t mean anything by it. Just a friendly gesture-“

But he cut you off by yelling at you.

“Friendly my ass, he’s been drooling over you for years y/n!”

You rolled your eyes.

“You’re just making that up… I’ve never spoke to him once before today.”

Yet it wasn’t convincing enough. “No, I get it. You told him something you shouldn’t have, didn’t you?”

“I didn’t tell him anything, I …. I haven’t told anyone, I promise.” You seemed to look away.

Mitsuya could see the both of you from his hiding spot, see both of your expressions as you both fought. Finally, you guys actually might break up, and by his unintentional influence? What a dream come true.

Excited, Takashi listened in further, hoping to hear your magic words.

“Really? I think you’re lying.” Your boyfriend nabbed out short.

You gasped sharply when he grabbed you by the root of your hair and tilted your eyes up to face his pissed off look.

“I think you’re trying to leave me behind. You want to leave me so bad. You hate me so much. Wish I would drop dead, even though I’m the one who looks out for you,” he scoffed.

“You would be a target without me. I hear the way the girls gossip about you. How you can’t put together an outfit to save your life. How clumsy you are.”

Your boyfriend gives you a pitiful smile, rolling his thumbs over your cheeks.

“No one talks badly about my baby though. I protect you, I always do.” His expression darkened as he frowned. “But you can’t stand being with me. You just won’t get that stupid idea about breaking up out of your stupid fucking head.”

The whiplash that snapped its way through Takashi’s system was unreal. The wind knocked right through him when he finally caught back up to reality.

Red lights were blaring in Mitsuya’s vision, yet on the outside, aside a hitched breath and a glare that could kill, Takashi was composed and poise. Out on a mission to kill, and he had his prey, and prize both locked in sight.

“Ooi, Y/n-chan,” Mitsuya casually yawned in a greeting to break the muggy tension of the empty school yard.

Your boyfriend visibly rose to full height, which was somewhat taller than Mitsuya. It’s fine. If Mikey has taught anyone anything, it’s to not determine dominance on size.

Takashi Mitsuya was going to rock this guys shit.

“Thought I’d come around to ask if you’d reconsider ‘bout that movie tonight.“ he lied with a sickly sweet smile your direction.

Like your boyfriend simply did not exist in his line of sight.

“Asshole. You got a lot of nerve.” Your boyfriend spoke down to Mitsuya, completely blocking you out of his way.

A nuisance. An obstacle.

—-One that commonly makes your life harder. The same guy who belittled you and kept you complacent. With his threatening words and god knows what else.

“You’re talking to My Girlfriend, I think you’ve forgot.”

“Don’t give a shit who you are,” Takashi whipped back, a look of murder flares his expression red.

“Not’a very respectful way to talk to your partner, someone aught’a teach you some fucking manners.”

Takashi grinned in your boyfriends confused face, the crazed feeling of hate swirled in Mitsuya’s chest, he reminisced in how much he hated the son of a bitch in front of him.

Just before Mitsuya’s instincts took the better of him, and began what would have been a series of combination martial art memoirs. He realized you were still wide eyed and stressed by the conflict before you. He could see you were about to jump in, to try and divert the friction.

Takashi Mitsuya knew what kind of person you were, and loved you for it. Almost instantly, Takashi found himself composed from that wild instinct to kill, from fit in his sheep’s clothing. To be the guy who you needed when things were dicey. Someone reliable to depend on because no one else in this world has ever looked out for you before. Before him.

A fake, kind smile spread on Mitsuya’s expression when he stepped-in uncomfortably close with your boyfriend.

And he whispered.

“You’re going to pay for the shit you’ve done to y/n. She’s not about to see any of that though, you got that you piece of shit?” Takashi’s voice seethed with poison.

“Get the fuck out of here before I dislocate your fucking femur. I swear to god, I can make it look like you just passed out while you lay here winded and unable to call for help while you can’t feel anything below your fucking-“

“M-Mitsuya…” you called out, feigning confidence.

He loved that look.

Mitsuya patted on your boyfriend’s shoulder, soon to bask in the look of primal fear sweating through his shirt. “What.. the fuck is wrong with you? Fu-fucking psycho…” your boyfriend sighed, fumbling to make a few feet distance between him and Mitsuya.

“Please… no more tonight, seriously!” You spoke up, taking a belittled stance closer to your boyfriend.

But Mitsuya gently took your free hand, halting you further.

“Y/n… he’s ready to back off, you don’t have to keep hiding behind him.” He spilled out, his words catching on to your boyfriend as he high tailed his way out from your sights. “I don’t have to be anything to you, but I can’t sit quietly while I know you’re hurting like this. I won’t. So please, let me look out for you, unconditionally.”

“I meant it when I said my little sisters were into Tokyo Mew Mew,” Mitsuya chuckled to ease the awkward tension, pulling out his extra tickets. “Only part I lied ‘bout was not knowing much about it. Binged it the other week, ‘n I’m actually caught up and pretty stoked to see this movie, too.”

“We can still make it, if you’re up for it.”

#here it is anyway #I’m not proud of it though #tokyo revengers #tokyo rev #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo rev x y/n #mitsuya imagines #mitsuya x reader #toman mitsuya #tokyo revengers takashi mitsuya #mitsuya takashi #takashi mitsuya #mitsuya takashi x reader #yandere #soft yandere #manga

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satorugojjo · 1 year

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The more I read the more I don’t understand the absolutely homophobic coded hate for The Sun and the Star. Nico literally shares a homophobic experience he experienced in the 40s that shaped the way he viewed himself, reflects on it, and then comes to the conclusion that’s what made him react to Cupid so badly, and THIS is something to hate??? Nico, growing, learning to share, learning to not impose isolation on himself, learning to feel his emotions and let them out, to be there for people, to miss Percy and Hazel and Jason, actually developing, and people are like “ugh so boring and unrealistic, they ruined my fav character”

Well, sorry he’s not the miserable little edgelord you all desperately want him to be. Sorry that Will actually has some very understandable flaws, sorry that Percabeth aren’t perfect, sorry that you’d read book about the experience of coming out for an Italian raised boy from the 1930s and think it’s boring, sorry that you’d read about the trauma of his Tartarus experience from HoH and go “OVERDONE”!!! This book does have flaws but it is not Nico and Will.

Every single interaction feels meaningful, the focus on emotion, growth, light, happiness, connection, love, friendship, and more is what is quintessential PJO to me. It’s not full of adventure after adventure and that’s perfectly fine to me. They’re navigating an emotional minefield. How the fuck can this fandom sit here and complain about the lack of emotional depth in Blood of Olympus and then when they do get it they’re like, “oh no no no this is the WRONG kind, I want him to stay miserable, I actually don’t want to read about his sorrow from his POV, I don’t want Nico to be MATURING” GROW UP?

Nothing about Solangelo so far feels OOC to me, and every time they do it’s actually even pointed out to us that it IS ooc, and we get to see how they feel about it. This is exactly what I expect from canonical middle school sunshine/darkness tropes.

Also, this is VERY IMPORTANT so pay fucking attention. THIS. IS. NOT. A. MAIN. PLOT. BOOK. IT DOESNT HAVE TO BE BREAKNECK PACING. If this was an anime, this would be a sweet little OVA arc. This is a side story, just the same way the Percy/Thalia/Nico story was. It’s a companion book about two side characters. Why are your expectations as high as a main series book? It’s a NICO AND WILL book, it’s not anything more or less. Another thing to remember? Canonically this is meant to be the year 2011. The RRverse is very anachronistic where current year elements feature in a timeline where it shouldn’t, but EVEN SO, it still feels at best 2015. More importantly? It’s only been a year since Cupid. A singular YEAR. For reference the pandemic started 3 whole years ago.

I can’t stand fans sometimes, you’ll jump on any bandwagon of hate without exercising a single shred of critical thinking or nuance, and then conveniently forget a whole bunch of things that are GOOD for the minor flaws this book has. This isn’t a 10/10 book, it’s probably a solid 7.5!!! Stop treating it as if it’s 3/10. And I stand by what I said before. We need more middle grade LGBT lit! Is this the BEST out there? No. Is this however bad? No. And before you guys come for me without having a molecule of reading comprehension, it’s OKAY to not like this book. It’s not okay however to make sweeping statements of hate as if everyone who enjoys this book is a blithering idiot.

#tsats #the sun and star #Nico di Angelo #will solace #solangelo #pjo #PJOverse #rick riordan #riordanverse

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riririnnnn · 3 months

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The sole inspiration of this theory is this post by @someprettyname.

You know, one of the topics Kaneshiro-san hasn't talked about in the Manga yet is academic pressure on a student, and this topic perfectly suits Shidou out of all the characters in Blue Lock. He is like the perfect candidate to showcase a burnout student who had to put up with all the pressure their parents placed on them, and I have three reasons to believe in this theory:

-> Monologue

All his monologues during the U-20 match has one common theme, "Leaving a proof of yourself for the world to remember you." And one common belief in a household with great academic pressure is that you are made to believe from a very young age that if you can't achieve something in your life, then you are completely worthless. These kind of parents think that being happy with one's life isn't enough, you need to and got to be something or do something big in your life.

One more thing that slipped through ALL of our eyes is that Shidou is actually a pretty smart person:

Shidou was so quickly able to correctly judge Kunigami and Reo, and I think that's a pretty good testament for one's intelligence.

Of course, I do not believe that a grade can fully show a student's capabilities, but I do also believe that you need to have, at least, some kind of intelligence to score good grades. And considering all of this, I can place a safe bet that Shidou was some kind of scholar student and being a smart kid in an Asian household means having to carry lots of academic expectations!

-> Behaviour

You don't even need to fully know about Shidou to understand that he is far away from a student who is considered ideal and that's the point I'm trying to make! He isn't an ideal student because he is tired of being one for so long!

Okay, to understand my point better, imagine this:

You are being forced to be at the top of your class, to be a good, well-mannered, well-behaved student. It's like a constant invisible rope of expectation tied around your neck that never goes away and it's eating you up inside, so what would you do?

Most likely: rebel.

And that's what Shidou is doing! He is aggressive, violent and foul-mouthed—everything that can NOT be found in a trait list of an ideal student. Also, dyeing your hair in bright colours has been a pretty common thing any student does in order to 'rebel'.

You getting me? Please say yes.

-> Favourite song

His choice of music was the first thing that made me believe that Shidou is just being a rebel student. Hide, as stated by Wikipedia, was (or maybe is) considered as the icon for Japanese youth to rebel against the 'conformist' society of Japan. And Pink Spider song goes deeper than it appears—this and this beautifully explains about the above mentioned song.

Here are some few excerpts of the articles:

This song's meaning in Shidou's case can be interpreted in various ways, and I would love if you guys come up with your own interpretations.

For me, it's like Shidou felt trapped in whatever way he was living. He was made to feel that if he followed every rules, got good grades, behaved like an ideal student, then everything will be fine and will work in his way and that his elders really know the best for him and that he is just naïve. This type of living ended up suffocating him even more—he wanted to truly live—he bottled everything up and one day, he just snapped and that was when the Shidou Ryusei we know was born.

One more small and very personal reason for me to believe that he was a scholar student with too much academic pressure is that one of his favourite subjects is Art.

Speaking from personal experience, I've noticed that people who were forced to study and do well academically usually end up falling in love with making art.

I don't know how to explain it well, sorry.

That's it, I guess.

What do you guys think?

#blue lock #bllk #blue lock theory #bllk theory #shidou ryusei #雪 ranting

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burnin0akleaves · 4 months

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Here's the draw six fanarts meme I decided to participate in 4 years late

In true burnin0akleaves spirit I didn't ask anyone for requests and just went ahead with all of the characters that have been the most impactful/important to me, so there is a high chance you've seen me draw these guys before.

By the way, unlike the rest of the blorbos here Siyra is an original character and belongs to @nineteen-rats!

Close-ups and rambles under the cut because it's my blog

Ohh the Dark Urge. My latest obsession. I love his design so much, I'm a slut for white/red color schemes, but I feel like it's a double edged sword that takes you out of the horrors he's commiting at the same time?

Durge is supposed to be murder incarnate, someone that does every fucked up thing related to death imaginable; but when you see a giant lizard eating babies or humping corpses, it dulls the effect a bit since you automatically view it as an animalistic act. Dragonborns are obviously a fully sentient humanoid race in-universe; but when the violence you're seeing is already toeing the line between horrifying and hilarious, seeing a scalie doing it just pushes it over the line. I still think it works really well most of the time and I'm very glad that this is the default durge we get! It's just funny to me that when you choose to play as the giant lizard, the dark and disgusting horror story turns into the hilariously edgy bloodfest.

Reminding everyone again that Siyra belongs to @nineteen-rats! I love this man so so so much. I am the Siyra fandom. I am the number one Siyra fanartist. He did nothing wrong and I will defend his every decision. I also hope terrible horrors befall him and that his actions keep him awake for the rest of his life. Pookie bear xoxo

COMING IN WITH THE STEEL CHAIR IT'S WILL TREATY

He is on my mind, always. I don't talk about him as much but he's probably still the fictional character who had the most impact on me as a person.

PATROCLUS! PATROCLUS!!! SIR I'M YOUR NUMBER ONE FAN!!

I got into patrochilles and the Illiad in general thanks to "The Song of Achilles". It was one of the first queer books I got to have in real life and the prose captivated me instantly, I still have it on my shelf. After reading the Illiad itself however, I hate that book so much. I'm sorry it's genuinely beautiful and I get why people like it but I can never forgive that horrible Patroclus characterization after seeing what he was originally like. Achilles too for that matter.

Hades swooped me up into its arms like I was a sick baby bird and nursed me back to health with its portrayal of the two though and for that I am forever grateful. I can't wait for Hades 2, death to Chronos.

God Half-Life is such an important series for me. My dad would let me play through a few levels since I was a child, he grew up with the games, but I REALLY played through the entire series one summer shortly before dad moved out. He was there watching me play most of it and getting to enjoy someone actually translate the game's dialogue for him for the first time.

Gordon may not speak once but I like the hints of his personality we get throughout the games, most importantly from the way Alyx talks to/about him. I have my own characterization of him obviously but I do really think you can get a good understanding of the kind of man he is meant to be in-universe just by paying attention to his surroundings. Also another reason the games were so immersive for me is that I'm just as in love with Alyx as Gordon is. I must have let her get hit only once or twice the entire time just out of how protective I was over her. I'd topple the entire Combine empire just for her hand in marriage. I rewatched the ending of Half Life Alyx recently and cried.

I read the entirety of LOTR in one week in 11th grade, carrying that damn brick of a book everyday to school and back. I'm so glad I did honestly. Frodo and Sam are my important little guys and I find myself going back to them when I need something to calm me down in a way no other series except LOTR can. I've read most of Tolkien's work at this point, but nothing captivated me like those two little hobbits. Everytime I read a bad take about their relationship I sketch them making out.

People liked seeing my drawing process before so here's the original sketch and the little notes I wrote to myself trying to set the mood. I followed like half of them.

#the dark urge #durge #will treaty #patroclus #gordon freeman #frodo baggins #default dragonborn durge #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #rangers apprentice #the royal ranger #hades game #half life #half life 2 #lotr #lord of the rings #🍃 fanart #that was a lot

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nordidia · 11 months

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Do you think CJ and Raph ever talk about their experiences with PTSD/anxiety together or even share advice on coping? Or do you think Raph would rather not? Explain your reasoning in your essay below

(i typed an entire novel and then accidentally closed chrome and it deleted everything let me try doing this again i barely remember what i said ok so. also this is just me blabbering idk guys im not a rise writer im just some opinionated guy online and you can completely disagree with me and i dont say what goes or not ok? ok!)

i dont think raph would go to him with his issues but i think it'd defo get talked about through asking CJ about things and checking up on him etc. and i think CJ would give raph alot of insight and advice on how to deal with anxieties and traumas,, tho alot of their convos would just be one of them saying something vile and the other one going "oh. is that not normal?" and the first one looking at the latter like this

but all in all i think they'd definitely help eachother with dealing with stuff... i think especially raph will assist CJ in just taking the blow on how much there is to unpack... his entire life has been a big traumatic event, i imagine suddenly living a sustained life without having to fight for survival every day would be a lot for him to deal with, especially the confusion and grief over what he has lost (maybe what he has lost feels a bit like pointless grief to him now? which is a trauma in itself) and also grieving what he never had. as we know, grief is also things we shouldve had but never got, and i think all the hamatos would be really helpful in dealing with that.

tho CJ seems to be a bit of a hardass on stuff like this which is incredibly understandable when you've had to fight for everything with zero stability at all anywhere you went. i could see him confiding in raph about it, but not only him if im honest. but there is an undeniable security about raph i think that the characters i the show feel, and i think CJ would seek the stability and consistent reliability that raph provides.

i also like that CJ doesnt seem too scared about calling out people when they do wrong, i can defo see CJ bluntly telling raph that bad coping mechanisms is stupid and makes things worse and worries everyone around. (this is ofc hand in hand with the good ol' HC that raph bottles shit up/avoids talking abt things. personally i think he never shuts up and frequently rants about stuff and lets his family know whenever shit is up but he avoids going too deep so his family thinks he's being fully transparent when actually he's just not voicing the worst shit. this is so real to me no i do not need therapy shut u)

i definitely think raph would confide in CJ about the krang thing. CJ is the one who knows the most about it, i can see raph going to him to just get a bit more information about what was going on, and also a bit of relief hearing that it didnt go as bad as it couldve gone... CJ being experienced with krangification would absolutely soothe worries and make him feel less alone about knowing what he knows and having gone through something thats a step further than his brothers

IS THIS A GOOD ENOUGH ESSAY i have academic anxiety dont grade me please its 4am i have taken melatonin pills im on my last leg help m *ficking dies*

edit: GOODNIGHT LOL

#asks!#ohhhh raph and casey duos my beloved #rise raph #rottmnt casey jr

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flowerui · 6 months

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♫ three little words (dedicate them to me), cyj

fluff, 4.8k words ୨୧ oh my god they were roommates :0 sorry to any academic weapons reading, im projecting a bit as an academic failure lol

wherein it only takes you about twenty-nine years to realize you're in love with your best friend... at least you got there!

꒰ requested. gender neutral reader (no pronouns or gendered terms used), reader is younger, unspecified age difference (but its implied that theyre very close in age), childhood friends to lovers, nonidol au, roommates, idiots in love, time skips, aging up, alcohol/drinking, a bit dialogue heavy, vomit is mentioned a few times, friend group ot4 ꒱

It’s hard to recall a time without Yeonjun; he appeared one day and stuck to you, almost as if he were a stubborn thorn in your side (said endearingly, of course).

It must’ve been when you were still in kindergarten—right, Yeonjun and his parents had moved in next door, and your moms both became friends and arranged a play date. Yeonjun had brought his PlayStation over and let you play it with him, so, obviously, to five-year-old you, that made the two of you best friends right away.

“Are you almost done?” Yeonjun bemoans from your bedroom floor, urging you to look up from your piles of textbooks and worksheets finally.

“No, I told you I needed to study and that you should go to your own house, you bum. Just ‘cause you don’t give a shit about your education doesn't mean I don’t.”

“You almost flunked last year. And you’re only studying because your mom saw you got a three out of a hundred on your algebra test,” Yeonjun deadpans, “how do you even score that bad?” Ugh, lucky, naturally academically gifted asshole. You roll your eyes and toss a pencil at his stupid face.

“Whatever,” you grumble, it’s not your fault you can’t be an academic weapon, and that school is whooping your ass instead with academics as a weapon. “I feel like my brain is about to start leaking out of my ears anyway, wanna go to yours?”

Yeonjun grins, sitting up from your floor with a start, finally regaining some of his earlier excitement before he had to wait nearly four hours (all of which were spent pestering you) while you attempted to study. “I ditched school yesterday to get a copy of Resident Evil 4 from GameStop.”

“What the hell—and you didn’t invite me?” you whine, “That’s cold, you better let me try it first.”

It’s hours later into the evening when you’re watching Yeonjun attempt to get through the wretched cabin section that you died approximately… thirteen times trying to get through, that he says, “You remember that guy, Taehyun, right? In my AP History class.”

“Mhm,” you hum, blinking your bleary eyes at Yeonjun’s TV screen from your very comfortable spot on his couch.

“He doesn’t usually talk a whole lot to me, but today, I couldn’t get him to shut up,” Yeonjun huffs a laugh as he maneuvers the character, Leon, up the stairs on screen, seemingly making it farther than you could. “He was complaining though, ‘cause he was partnered with this person who was into me. He couldn’t get any work done, they were just bugging him about me.”

You tear your focus from the TV to look at the side of Yeonjun’s face, you can see part of his furrowed brow and pursed lips. “Oh.”

It doesn’t surprise you that a lot of people seem to be interested in Yeonjun at school. In middle school, people started coming up to you, asking if you’d put in a good word for them with Yeonjun, because they ‘like-liked’ him, and you were his best friend. Then, it was at the end of eighth grade that you started telling those people to grow a pair and talk to him themselves.

You suppose you kind of understand. Yeonjun’s nice when he’s not being a little shit… and he’s not horrible to look at, one might even say he’s good-looking.

“Are you into them?” The question seems to roll off your tongue easily, but you’re not even sure why you asked, you don’t think you want to know. For some reason, thinking about it churns your stomach a bit.

“...No, I mean, they’re pretty, but,” Yeonjun sighs, tossing his controller to the side as he dies a second time. “they seem kinda… much. I dunno, Taehyun said they literally wouldn’t talk to him about anything besides me the entire class. It kinda weirded me out.”

“Hm, yeah.” You hum, a weird feeling of… relief washing over you. Yeonjun’s mom comes in to ask if you’re staying for dinner before you can think about it too hard.

Later that night, when you’re stuck staring blankly at your ceiling, you decide you were just relieved that Yeonjun wasn’t going to end up with some overly possessive weirdo. It’d suck to lose your best friend that way.

“Please do not throw up, because if you throw up, then I’m gonna throw up.”

“I’m not gonna throw up,” Yeonjun insists, but it doesn’t sound all too credible with the way he slurs his words, maybe you’ve also had too much to drink, but you swear he looks a little green. “I… am perfectly fine, thank you very much.”

“Uhuh.”

“Don’t ‘uhuh’ me,” Yeonjun grumbles with an attempted glare, you find that you can’t take him all too seriously, though; the flush on his cheeks, his inability to keep his eyes open for more than five seconds, and his perpetual pout make it all too difficult. “Oh, I—I think I’m gonna hurl.” He braces himself against the bar, eyes suddenly more awake.

That would be the reason you end up in a grimy bathroom on your twenty-first, making sure your best friend’s hair is out of the way as he empties the contents of his stomach into a toilet bowl.

“Why’d you drink so much, you know you’re a lightweight.” You ask when Yeonjun seems to be done, frowning as you wipe off his mouth with a paper towel.

“Am not,” he protests petulantly. “I was just—I just felt like it ‘cause I thought it’d make me feel better ‘nd I could stop thinking about other shit.”

“Did something happen?”

“...I stopped seeing that person I told you about.”

“Why? I thought it was going well?” ‘Well’ might be a bit of an overstatement. Like most of Yeonjun’s partners, you didn’t hear a whole lot about this new one, met them once for a brief moment, then didn’t hear of them again. It seems to be a common theme in Yeonjun’s relationships—his fleeting interest, you haven’t figured out if you should say anything about it.

“It was just, um. ‘M not over someone…. I didn’t feel right staying in a relationship knowing I’m still not over someone else.”

Oddly enough, that felt rather sobering to hear. You hum, stomach feeling a little off—you hope you aren’t going to throw up next… “You haven’t told me about that, wanna talk about it? It might feel better than drinking too much and throwing up in a disgusting bathroom. Don’t quote me on that, though.”

Yeonjun blinks slowly, then chuckles, “I’ll tell you about it some other time, I just really want to be in bed right now.”

Instead of getting an Uber or something, you trudge down the sidewalk with a clingier-than-usual Yeonjun, who barely manages to walk in a straight line. You internally celebrate when your apartment building comes into view; one of you seriously needs to get a car.

You have to convince Yeonjun to shower before you, almost like a petulant child.

And apparently, wanting to be in bed means taking up most of your mattress and hogging your blankets for the night, because when you finish showering, you return to your room to find your bed occupied. You could just steal Yeonjun’s bed for the night… but you end up just crawling into bed beside him, listlessly trying to reclaim your covers.

He never ended up telling you about this mystery person he’s not over.

“I just don’t think it’s going to work out.” You sigh.

“But why? I thought things between us were going great, I—”

“I’m sorry, I just don’t see this relationship progressing any further.”

“But, I—I told my mom about you! You can’t leave me, I love you!”

“Ugh, you asshole,” you cry out as Yeonjun pretends to cry hysterically and shakes you by your shoulders, “You’re supposed to be taking this seriously and helping me!”

Yeonjun cackles as you shove him away, “I mean he could react like that, couldn’t he?” Then, he sighs and places his hands on your shoulders—not shaking you this time. “Okay, seriously, it’s going to be fine, you’ll be in a public space, so worst case scenario, he embarrasses himself.”

“You’re right… ugh, I’m gonna be late.”

“You’re the one who wanted to rehearse the conversation again.”

Before sending you off, Yeonjun smushes your face, cooing, “Okay, go dump your boyfriend, my duckling, I’ll be waiting here with takeout and beer.”

“You are a grown-ass man.” You deadpan before you’re finally off.

It’s been a good few months since you started seeing this new guy—his name’s Mark, you realized you liked him enough to make things more official after several good dates. But, you’ve already been considering breaking things off with him for a while now; you seem to have this recurring issue when it comes to relationships… You just can’t seem to envision a future that includes your partner, even when it’s going well you ultimately lose interest.

Mark seems like a good guy, too, which makes you feel worse, but it’d be even worse to just lead him on, right? That’s what you continue reminding yourself as you trudge into a nice café that will be tainted by the memory of you dumping a nice guy for the rest of your life. You’ll never be able to enjoy the sweet treats of ‘Arcadia’ ever again.

“Hey, there you are,” Mark smiles as you take the seat across from him.

“Yeah, uh, sorry, I had to help my roommate out.” A fib, even though your mother tells you honesty is the best policy. Well, she lied about Santa and the tooth fairy; besides, your fib sounds nicer than ‘I was rehearsing how to break up with you with my best friend’.

“No worries.”

“Um,” it’s better to just get it over with, you remind yourself, just rip the bandaid off, “so, I wanted to talk to you.”

“Uh oh, that doesn’t sound too good,” Mark chuckles, then clears his throat and continues when you don’t laugh, “What’s up?”

With a deep breath, you let it spill out all at once, “I don’t think this is going to work out, I just don’t see us—this relationship going any further. I’m sorry and I hope you can understand.” Okay, that wasn’t too scary, if you’re ignoring your shaky, clammy palms against your knees.

Mark nods, then looks down at his lap, then back at you, “I guess I should’ve seen it coming, I mean, I’ve seen the way you and your roommate look at each other.”

“Uh… you what?”

“You don’t have to play dumb about it, it’s obvious the both of you are in love. Guess I just liked you so much I hoped I could change your mind.” Mark sighs, “I think I’m gonna… go, sorry.” He says, then leaves you to spiral.

‘Obvious the both of you are in love’? You and Yeonjun? That’s ridiculous, right?

Leaving what was once your favorite café in a daze, you’re suddenly glad that you’d decided to walk instead of drive; you barely register entering your apartment complex, and unlocking your door.

“Hey,” Yeonjun is on the couch, takeout and a pack of beer spread on the coffee table as promised, “how’d it go?”

“It went fine,” you say with a smile that doesn’t quite make its way to your eyes, “he took it as well as he could have.” It’s weird, that you don’t just word vomit out every small detail, like you tend to with Yeonjun. But somehow, something about divulging everything feels weirder, so in a rare twist of events, you keep quiet.

Seemingly taking the hint that that’s going to be all you say for the time being, Yeonjun changes the topic, “Go change so we can eat, the new episode of The Vampire Diaries is literally about to start in like two seconds.”

“What the hell! I didn’t think I was gone for that long!” You shriek and make a run for it to your room to change out of your outside clothes.

Yeonjun snorts when you return, plopping onto the couch while trying to catch your breath. “I lied, there’s still like half an hour.”

“You’re such an asshole,” you hiss, and pummel him with the nearest throw pillow.

“I’m starting to think I’m gonna end up alone,” with a grunt, you tug your blanket up higher, “why’re we both so bad at relationships?”

“Rude,” Yeonjun flicks your forehead, and if you weren’t so cozy, full of food, and three cans of beer drunker, you might’ve sat up to take your revenge. But alas, moving even a mere inch feels like a herculean effort.

“You’re rude,” you stick your tongue out at him childishly. “Y’know I didn’t mean it like that, though, right?”

“I know.”

“Mm. Maybe…” You focus your bleary eyes on Yeonjun’s face above you. Even from this unfortunate angle, from where your head rests on his lap, he looks so… “If we’re not… If we’re still single by the time we’re thirty-four, I think we should just marry each other.”

Yeonjun laughs, “Okay, I think it’s bedtime, don’t you have work in the morning?”

If you hadn’t fallen asleep right then, you might’ve clapped back with a witty response, or you might’ve sat up, and looked at Yeonjun dead in the eyes and told him that you were serious.

“No, Mom, I am still not in a relationship,” you pause, then sigh, “Yes, I know I’m not getting any younger. And, no, I’m not gonna—wait, what?”

“You heard me, I asked when you’re going to give in and just marry Yeonjun. I like him, he’d be a nice son-in-law, he practically already is at this point!”

Only mothers would have the audacity. You have to pull your phone away from your ear to stare at the outgoing call screen in astonishment. “What… are you talking about?” You ask when you bring your phone back to your ear.

“Oh, c’mon. You’ve been living together since you were what, nineteen? Neither of you dates anymore, you spend all your free time together…You may as well get hitched at this point, instead of denying your poor mother the opportunity of watching her child get married any longer.”

You perk up at the call of your name, seeing two of your coworkers rush over, “Hey—random question—how early do you think is too early to get engaged? Lia’s only been with her partner for like three months, and they’re already engaged! You’ve been with your boyfriend for years, right? And neither of you has proposed?”

“Uh? My… boyfriend?”

“Yeah? Your boyfriend, his name’s Yeonjun, right?”

“Oh, he’s not my… He’s just my best friend.” You’re not sure what’s more embarrassing, the fact that all this time, it seemed like you and Yeonjun were dating, or having to tell two of your coworkers that you are actually painfully single. It doesn’t make it any better that the majority of your coworkers, while nice, are known for gossiping—all mostly harmless.

You expect your mother to make you feel bad about your relationship status (out of love), but not your coworkers.

“It’s weird, lately, I’ve realized that people think me and Yeonjun are together…? My mom even told me to just go and marry him, like?”

“Oh, you poor sweet summer child…”

“Have you still seriously not realized?” Taehyun pipes up beside Kai who regards you with a pitiful look. What’s up with everyone lately? You’re starting to feel like you’re the only one missing something.

“Realized what?”

“Oh, you’re hopeless.” Taehyun laments, looking as if he’s about ready to tear his hair out or reach across the dining table to knock some sense into you.

Ideally, you’d like to think you’re not at all oblivious. But, after many strange occurrences, you can’t help but consider: that you’ve never properly thought of Yeonjun that way—in a romantic sense. He’s always just been Yeonjun; the only person who you know for a fact you can trust with anything, and the only person who will stick with you despite all of your bullshit, like a stubborn thorn you can’t seem to be rid of (not that that’s an issue). He’s your everything, really.

When you imagine your future, you always see him fit in there somehow—but it occurs to you that as someone who’s never had a complete interest in marriage, or any romantic relationships for a long time for that matter, you could imagine walking down the aisle with Yeonjun, and more. Not only that, but you like imagining it.

Oh.

How dense can one be to fail to realize they’ve been in love with their best friend all this time? After nearly three decades of friendship, it’s seriously taken you this long to get to this conclusion? All those failed relationships you tried so hard to make work, it was all for nothing, because you couldn’t realize what you felt for what you already had! So much time wasted…

“Are you feeling okay?” Yeonjun apparates beside you, a palm carefully tracing circles over your upper back.

You feel bad for how you jolt away from him, seeing the surprise and mild hurt pass over his features in a split second. If you didn’t know Yeonjun like the back of your hand, you might’ve missed it. “...Sorry, I dunno—I’ve been kind of out of it lately, I think I just need to relax.”

“You haven’t been overworking yourself again, have you?”

“No…”

Yeonjun gives you a look as though he doesn’t quite believe you, but drops it. This time, you don’t jump away like frightened prey when he touches you—wraps around your side. “Let’s watch something tonight? I’ve been hearing about this new Kdrama called ‘My Demon’.”

“That sounds straight out of Wattpad… I’ll order the food.”

“Happy birthday,” Yeonjun sings as he saunters into your bedroom at… way too early in the morning. But all’s forgiven with the realization he comes bearing gifts—food. “What’s that, thirty-four punches I’m gonna have to give you, now? Fuck, you’re old,” he says as he sets down a delectable-looking plate of your favorite breakfast on your nightstand.

“Shut up, you’re older than me.” You narrow your eyes, sitting up to reach for your birthday breakfast.

“And if you punch me thirty-four times, you will not live to see another day, Choi.”

Getting older has meant that your birthdays have become a lot less eventful, but you haven’t quite minded it. They’re spent with your favorite person, anyway, so no complaints on your end.

Yet, somehow, you end up on a beach on the night of your birthday, sitting on a beach towel Yeonjun had neatly spread out and admiring the night sky. You’d had a simple plan to laze around at home all day, eat something good for dinner, drink a little more than you should, and then sleep like the dead. However, Yeonjun had other plans when he’d announced the night before that he was taking you on a day trip the next morning. ‘It’s only a six-hour drive’, he’d said, because he’s insane.

You suppose you had a little more to your original plan… you guess you also intended to profess your newly realized love for your best friend, and potentially ruin about twenty-nine years of friendship if things happened to go wayward. Well, you still intend on getting that over with.

“Happy birthday,” Yeonjun says once more, as he returns from the car with an unopened bottle of wine and two wine glasses. Huh, you guess that’s why he took so long to grab something to drink from the ‘cooler’, actually... do either of you even own a cooler? “Better appreciate this wine, it was pricey.”

“I distinctly recall telling you not to spend much on me this year,” you sigh, but you’re staring down the bottle, “and you already arranged this impromptu trip.”

“Well, I wanted to, it’s not every day you turn thirty-four.” Yeonjun doesn’t add anything else, as he hands you the bottle of wine; you decide not to call out how he can’t meet your eyes properly.

Cabernet Sauvignon 1999, the bottle reads. You don’t know much about wine—you’re not that old yet—just that it usually tastes good. “Is it good? I don’t think I’ve tried Cabernet Sauvignon, have I?”

“You haven’t, I think you’ll like it. It would’ve gone well with dinner.”

You hum, taking a corkscrew handed to you, as Yeonjun takes a seat beside you.

A couple of glasses later, you blurt, “Thanks. For this—the trip, dinner. And the wine. I like it a lot.” It’s not quite what you’d meant to say, in such a stilted manner. You guess you need a little more liquid courage, as you pour yourself another glass.

“I can tell, that’s like your third glass.”

“Shut up,” you grumble, as Yeonjun snorts into his glass. Cheeks warming, you start internally motivating yourself—if being alive for thirty-four years has taught you anything, it’s that everything’s worth a shot. You miss a hundred of the shots you don’t take… or whatever the saying is. “Do you remember that time I said we should just marry each other if we’re still single by thirty-four?”

After a pause, Yeonjun raises a brow, “Yes?”

“I’m surprised you remember that, considering you passed out right after… Are you saying we should get married, then?” Something passes over his features before he turns to you, and laughs something that isn’t exactly humorous, “I think that might be enough wine for you.”

“I’ve only had two glasses.”

“Two-and-a-half,” you correct after glancing down at your half-full glass. “I’m not drunk, maybe a teensy bit tipsy, but—fuck, that’s not the point.”

“What is the point you’re trying to make then? Yeonjun laughs, it almost looks like that familiar glint has returned to his eyes. You’d appreciate it if you weren’t about to implode.

“I, uh,” you clear your throat. Yeonjun continues to regard you with amusement; you vaguely wonder if he’ll still be amused once you manage to get the words—your confession out, or if you’ll go and ruin everything because of some stupid feelings. “Fuck, this is kinda difficult.”

“Okay, um,” maintaining eye contact is a test of your mental strength, which is why you avert your gaze even though you’ve turned to face Yeonjun, as you utter your next sentence, “So, it’s taken me an embarrassingly long time to realize that I’ve, uh, sort of, kind of been in love with you for probably forever. No, I—”

“I’m in love with you,” you rephrase more confidently, yet you end up shrinking in on yourself when the only response you receive is Yeonjun blinking blankly at you. “So, um, you could say something… right about now. Like, you hate me and are kicking me out? Well, ideally, you could say that you feel the same and—”

“Breathe,” Yeonjun reaches over to squeeze your clammy hand. Taking a breath as instructed, you realize you have not been breathing properly since you began speaking. “I was just—you’re being serious? You aren’t just drunk, and you aren’t fucking with me?”

“Two-and-a-half glasses, I’m tipsy at worst,” you reiterate, “and I’m not fucking with you either.”

“Oh.” Yeonjun breathes, which does nothing to assuage the anxiety that feels like it might have colored your face pallid, as it incessantly knocks against your ribcage.

“Oh? C’mon man, I just confessed my love to you, give me a little more than ‘Oh’, I’m nervous as shit right now.”

“Sorry, I was just…” Yeonjun laughs, the asshole laughs. “We really are best friends, huh? I spent all week trying to figure out how to make your birthday special, and confess my love to you at the end of the night. And here you are, beating me to it.”

“You… oh.”

“C’mon man, give me a little more than ‘Oh’, I just told you your love is reciprocated,” Yeonjun laughs as he repeats your previous words, teasing, “I’m nervous as shit, too.”

So, you down the rest of your glass before setting it aside and scooting too close for comfort, and ask, “Can I kiss you?” Because if thirty-four years of life has taught you anything, it’s to not waste any more time.

“Uh… yes.” Yeonjun’s widened eyes dart from both of your eyes, to your lips, and back.

And, so, you close the distance to kiss him.

Maybe it’s not magical, maybe you don’t feel any supposed sparks or fireworks. But it feels right, like it’s meant to be as you cup Yeonjun’s cheek and shift to curl your hand around his nape. It feels like caressing the petals of a burgundy rose.

(“Have you just always known you loved me? Even when I threw up on you the first time we got drunk?” You ask, a few hours, and a couple more glasses of wine later.

“Ew, but yes, I knew I loved you even then.”

“...Huh. Would you still love me if a witch cursed me and I turned into a worm tomorrow?”

Yeonjun snorts, “A worm?” then he hums in thought, “I would buy the biggest terrarium, and the nicest dirt I can find, and take care of you. I’d find the witch and make her turn you back into a lovely human, too.”

“Good answer,” you smile, leaning over to kiss Yeonjun again, he tastes a little like remnants of Cabernet Sauvignon, deep and red, urging you to kiss him a little deeper. “I love you,” you whisper against his lips when you part.)

Upon thinking about it, not much changes between you and Yeonjun; apart from the kissing, consistently sharing a bed, sober I love you’s, and the other ‘unnecessary PDA’, as Taehyun so kindly put it, while Soobin had fixed the two of you with a disgusted look (you know that deep down somewhere, he’s happy for you both), and Beomgyu shot a thumbs up before going back to hogging the cookies Soobin baked—Kai was more focused on trying to steal some cookies, which he managed.

Your mother had practically wept out of joy when you told her the news, ‘I’m going to see my baby get married! I thought the day would never come!’ she’d cried out, and rushed to tell anyone that would listen to her. Overdramatic, and a little hurtful, by the way… You didn’t even say anything about marriage, either!

“Hm?” You reluctantly blink your eyes open at the call of your name, to see Yeonjun looking at you with a suspicious grin on his face.

“I love you.”

“...What did you do? I love you too, though, even if I have to become an accomplice.”

“I didn’t do anything bad, I just love you.”

“Mm, you loser. I love you more.”

“Hm, are you sure about that?” Yeonjun hums, your eyes follow him as he sits up and reaches for something from his nightstand, “‘Cause I think I love you more? So much that I’m asking if you’d do me the honor of marrying me.” He says so casually, contrasting how he carefully opens a small, velvety box. It gives a quiet creak as it pops open, revealing a simple silver band. A ring. An engagement ring.

After blinking the fatigue out of your eyes, and confirming that you’re not seeing or hearing things, you sit up with a start, “You—

“You dick, why would you propose to me while I’m half-asleep?!”

“Well, if you said no, I could’ve just written it off as you being tired and mishearing me… I’ll get you a nicer wedding ring, too, if you say yes, that is. Well, I already have one—”

Yeonjun grunts as you throw yourself onto him, “You’re such an idiot, I love you. Yes, I’ll marry you, there’s no question about it.”

You can’t recall the moment you started loving Yeonjun; maybe it was the day you met and he let you play his PlayStation. Maybe it was in middle school when more people started to see him, or maybe it was in high school…

Maybe you can’t pinpoint the exact moment, maybe you’ve just always loved Yeonjun. It’d be hard not to love him; he’s as beautiful as a white rose—inside and out—one that you’d pluck from the dirt with your bare hands, thorns and all, just to keep to yourself, even if for a little while. Maybe that’s selfish, but you think that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.

You part from Yeonjun as your friends and family cheering fills your ears. Feeling like words can’t do your feelings in that moment justice, you kiss him once more, in hopes to convey them a little better.

“I know. I love you,” he says, because he knows you best.

Grinning so happily that your cheeks begin to ache, you properly part from Yeonjun this time, and walk hand-in-hand down the aisle.

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