#<- for sorting and in case someone wants to blacklist me talking about them

[jaimeski]

go find another lover to bring a TO STRING ALONGGGGGGGG with all your LIES, you’re still very loveableeee ! ! !

[aventurine-official]

((any tips for starting an rp blog?))

(Mod Minie's rp tips and tricks!

I have quite a few tips, but of course, they don't work the same for everyone. Feel free to use only what you think is necessary!

~ First of all, most definitely do make guidelines. Make the rules clear for people who will be doing rp with you, and respect their boundaries in return. It's most definitely okay to tell others you will not be discussing nsfw topics even if you are not a minor. I've just found that having rules is a nice way to set your boundaries and to avoid incidents easily. I have a rulelist in my intro post, and if you'd like to borrow it or interpret it into your own words or adapt it to fit your needs, then by all means!

~ If your rp blog is a sideblog, send your asks on anon, naturally. But no matter what kind of asks you send, it can be useful to tag your url as a signoff so that when the other person answers your ask, you get a notif from the tag.

~ One of the most "obvious" tips is to have different symbols or font styles for different parts of your rp. Every system is different, and none are expected to be alike. For example, many people use brackets ( ) for when they are speaking out of character, and quotation marks " " for when characters speak. I like to use italics and asterisks * * for my muses' actions, but there are many other ways to do so. Don't be afraid to be creative, as long as the difference is clear to identify.

~ Another tip is to slowly make yourself comfortable in the rp community you're in. Don't be afraid to talk to other moderators because most of them are really great people! This is also a skill that will come in handy later if you need to discuss the conditions for a rp thread or about doing rp for a certain ship together.

~ This is not necessary at all, but I highly recommend making tags. Whether it's to separate your asks from your reblogs, to sort interactions with certain other characters, or to identify your anons, tags are super useful for being able to organize your threads. As some people might not want to see the rp threads that get very long on their dash and instead want to see asks, that way other people can benefit from your tag system too by either following tags or blacklisting as they need. Also-- as a person who like showing some of my rp to other people, the tags are handy for me, too.

~ If possible, find a mod with a masterlist for your rp community. In my case, @/dr-ratio-official holds the HSR masterlist :) It can make it easier for people in your community to find you and to interact!

Mod Minie's rp advice!

These next ones are not tips, necessarily, but I find them incredibly important to know, especially if you're a beginner.

~ There is no rush. Rp doesn't have a time limit, and most other mods will be thankful they get a response from you at all and do not mind waiting from a few days to a month. Please do not let anybody pressure you into answering an ask or into replying to a thread when you do not have the energy. Rushed rp might not always be in character.

~ Don't worry about picking a character somebody else has roleplayed for! Picking a new character can be a handy choice to integrate into a community and to make yourself known, but you should only rp as muses you like! Don't worry if you share the same muse as other mods, just have fun!

~ Don't be afraid to have headcanons for your muse! You don't need to run around trying to prove it's true or get it approved officially. If your headcanons apply to your interpretation of your muse, so be it! If it bothers other people, that will be their choice to avoid interactions or not. In fact, I've often seen other mods agree with headcanons lsagdkagskf

~ Do not feel forced into discussing topics you do not want to discuss, whether in character or out. If you get an ask you'd feel uncomfortable answering, just delete it. It's easier and much less stressful.

~ Do not feel guilty about having favourites or about being someone's favourite, if your muse (or someone else's) has several mods who rp as them. Of course, certain people will have bias towards certain interpretations of characters. Some mods like doing more multi-paragraph rp, and will tend to interact more with certain mods who rp a muse versus other mods who rp the same muses. It's the same thing for more silly, less serious rp! It all depends what style you like, and I'm sure you'll find wonderful people who you enjoy doing rp with :)

~ Make sure your rp community (whomever you choose to interact with) is a safe and fun space for you and others! Do not be afraid to speak up if something makes you uncomfortable, and do not feel badly for cutting off interactions with a specific mod or anon if they do not respect your rules or begin to harass either you specifically or somebody else.

~ Lastly, just have a blast. That's what rp is for, bringing joy to yourself and others, as well as growing closer to your muse(s)!

I'm so glad you asked me for advice ahaha it makes me feel more experienced than I am! I hope this helps :) ~ Mod Minie)

[kinomiakai]

Kill yourself, fucked up virgin fag.

Oh my god, no way!!! Hi g.o.d.!!! What the hell happened to you, I thought you’d gone to therapy and learned to constructively deal with your anger or something!!

You guys, this person has been telling me to off myself since I started posting How to Break a Mask. THAT WAS IN 2006. On fanfiction.net!! It took a literal ten years to be posted, sporadically and randomly and with multiple year hiatuses, and every chapter, without fail, my first comment would be some variation of this. Sometimes they add a “delusional” for some spice, but it always has this very specific format. They never changed it up. My favourite part is how they think “virgin” has the same gravitas and insult as an actual slur. I feel like that is such an insight into the mind. And it was always my first comment! Sometimes within the first ten minutes of posting, which is fascinating, because it meant they were either obsessively searching the sasuke and naruto character tags, they were a group of people dedicated to the very specific cause of telling kids to kill themselves, or they were a bot of some sort. And since it happened with such frequency and the wording was so consistent, I was pretty convinced they were a bot. Even when I saw them pop up on ao3 - weird that they were still going, but I was still getting sporadic messages on FFN, so I figured they’d still been around somehow. But then it tapered off, so I thought the bots had broken & the person behind them had moved on to being a human being or something - but now! This has completely thrown that theory for a loop. You’re on tumblr???? Do you have an account?? Do you search through author pages, desperate to find someone who links to a social media?? That must take so much time!!!

I’m so fascinated. Am I going to get messages like this randomly now? Is it going to be tied to when I promote a fic? Is it specifically tied to the ao3 share function?? Do you get paid to do this?? How do you have time to do anything else?? Oh man. Holding my breath for next month, I can’t believe I might get some more answers to this mystery. I so wish this was in the era of broken tumblr where you could look at the source code of an anon ask and find their ip address 😂 I won’t reply to too many more asks like this if I keep getting them - I always deleted them on FFN because I noticed it tended to make my readers sad & that’s the direct opposite of what I want my fics to do, but if I have a new theory, I might! Also, I noticed people talking about them like they were new on ao3 and I feel like I need to spread the word about this obsessive little weirdo. That’ll be their tag, in case you want to blacklist!

Anyway, uh. Same time next month? I guess we’ll find out :D

[shdwtouch]

🔥

Send me a “ 🔥 “ for an unpopular opinion. || accepting !

okay. this is one of those things that, surface level, I am okay with. but the more I think about it ? the more ???? I get lmao and that thing is DNIs

like. fandoms, age range, etc ? that all makes sense to me. I feel like those are fair boundaries we experience in our every day life. but then its like. DNI if you follow / interact with xyz. and I'm just ???? (AS A NOTE: set and communicate your boundaries, please ! this is incredibly valid and not what I'm frustrated with. make no mistake, your boundaries SHOULD be respected, no matter what. I just have a lot of mixed feelings about DNIs that involve specific individuals.)

I keep rewriting my thoughts cuz I know this is going to be... a controversial topic. and I think the issue arises when it becomes a "me or them" situation. its an ultimatum, you can either interact with me OR them, not both. and I'm just... I guess I don't understand the thought process for people ? like ? I'm not that person, and most likely I only know / follow them in passing, so... why am I a problem ? why am I the point of contention in your dislike of another individual, you know ?

I have folks blocked. I even blacklist their URLs. but, in general I don't think I would judge someone based on their association with another person. I mean, depending on what that other person did. (lets use tr*mp as an example. I would v much judge someone who supports him.) like. there are plenty of people on this site that I do not like. but unless someone is blatantly on me, talking about those people, interacting with them in a way that makes me feel unsafe... I'm not going to avoid them just cuz they are associating with people I don't like ? just blindly being like me or them doesn't make sense to me at all. you are actually assuming the character of people based on who they choose to interact with !

and its also like. there are receipts. usually, if someone is in a DNI its cuz they've had a callout written on them. at that point, you take what you are given / know and make the best judgement you can. but in the case of "DNI if you interact with random joe blog #45" and then you don't say why its like... ? what is the problem here ?

also like. please. do not say you are willing to discuss / disclose why someone is in your DNI unless you are actually of a mental state to do so. the amount of times I've gone to folks like hey I noticed you added this person to your DNI and that folks can ask you about it ? and asked genuine questions, only to have them be upset talking about it or even upset with me for asking questions like... please. take care of yourself. you don't need to explain yourself to anyone, but similarly you need to be prepared for people to be like ???? in that case. if you offer explanations then I will ask until I am satisfied, and maybe that isn't a good way to approach it... but you also just can't expect people to take you at your word, even with receipts. there are two sides to every story, and in my experience... most personal DNIs, I'm sorry, but they're all based on petty drama, misunderstandings, etc.

I'm losing steam so I feel like I'm not making very clear points, I apologize. at the end of the day, I'm just ??? at DNIs. I will respect yours, but I will also be like ??????? and want explanations if you're willing to supply. I hope that what I've written isn't complete nonsense lmao but like I said. tl;dr I'm just ???? at DNIs

ALSO I JUST WANT TO ADD: I am so, so, so open to hearing folks thoughts (as long as they are politely presented uwu), especially those who employ DNIs including specific people ! like, why do you employ them ? what is your thought process ? I am genuinely curious to what your experience is ! and I think it would help me sort out the mixed feelings I have, cuz (again, two sides to every story) I only have my perspective, which doesn't have the need to use DNIs. like, I imagine for some folks it really is a matter of escaping abusers, stalkers, etc and seeing those names can be triggering. so yeah, I'm open to hearing your perspective !

and again, reiterating. set and communicate your boundaries, and put your foot down when they are crossed. that is not what I am criticizing, and I do my utmost to respect the DNIs of those I follow <3 even if your boundaries don't make sense to me they are still valid and deserve to be respected !! that is not up for debate.

[tmisaccidentreportbook]

MAG035, Old Passages

Case #0020406, Harold Silvana Release date: September 8th, 2016 First listen: 6th November, think it was still the walk home.

Where we see more of my goth son, Smirke’s name joins the blacklist in my mind, and in my messages with dodgylogic, Leitner’s name is autocorrected to all caps for the first time, a feature that endures still. Also that start of my conspiracy theory board entitled ‘WHAT THE FUCK IS UNDER LONDON?’

- Harold Silvana is a name we’ve already heard in passing, back in MAG024 where Sasha was hunting down the police reports for the incident. That was recorded somewhere between mid March and very early April, and it is now mid July. So investigation and research on this case has taken maybe four months, possibly longer, before it is fit for recording and archiving. I don’t know if that can be used as a bench mark for how long the process typically takes, because there is a lot going on in this one. It’s one I like to refer to as a ‘fear goulash’ statement; there’s a lot of flavours up in here.

- The Reform Club, Pall Mall. It’s just north of Westminster, with in spitting distance of Buckingham Palace and No. 10 Downing Street. Looking at the map, there’s an area of London, about 3 miles across, on the north side of the river, that has Pall Mall, Millbank, Chelsea and the seat of British power that just has all sorts of bad vibes rattling about…

- ‘I’m a builder. Sort of… In simple terms it’s not much different to any other sort of construction work, except it takes about three times as long and costs ten times as much.’ First impressions, I like him. He feels like an up front sort of character, and while he has to play the games and use the lingo, he feels like a grounded person.

- ‘…me and my team are worth every penny.’ He’s got a team, acknowledging the team. We love to see it.

- ‘And the sort of people I deal with, or should I say the sort of people whose personal assistants I deal with, can afford it.’ Ah yes, we are talking London money aren’t we. Central London money.

- Release the antique smut poems, V&A Museum! You cowards!

- ‘… so we could only actually come out of the basement when it wasn’t full of people too important to see builders.’ Urgh, God. Can’t believe the ‘below stairs’ mentality persists in today’s society but here we are… Not quite the same, but kinda reminds me of the 2 summers I was interning at a falconry breeding centre and the vast majority of the birds were being bred for the market in the Arab Peninsula. So the emir would send his men over to look at the birds and select the ones they wanted and all the women had be be else where, out of sight. So we all agreed it was fucking stupid and took the paid afternoon off we were given.

- I’m trying to work out how the listing system works and it all looks a bit subjective to me. Grade Is are defined a ‘buildings of exceptional interest’, and structures get ranked on age and rarity, aesthetic merit, selectivity, and national interest amongst other things. Being a Grade I puts you on par with Blackpool Tower, the Cenotaph, York Minster, and the Tower of London to name but a few.

- ‘It was about two in the morning when the kid showed up.’ Ooof… having to completely adjust your sleep schedule for these rich fucks, ugh. Also, my sweet boy.

- ‘I think he must have forgotten to lock the door when he headed out, and that’s how the kid got in.’ Even if that is the case, you know Gerry has a set of lock pick on him and is well practised at using them, even at this age.

- ‘…this was still the first week in March and it was pretty cold’ and Gerry is there in a t-shirt.

- ‘His hair was long and greasy, almost down to his shoulders, and looked to be dyed almost the same black as his clothes.’ The attacks on my son’s hair started early… I am begging someone, anyone at the institute, please take my boy to a salon and let them do it right for him. Let someone pamper him for a brief snippet of time.

- While this instinct was coming from the wrong place the decision ‘to be gentle in my initial enquiries’ may have bought him a little bit of grace. Out right aggression may have made it all much messier.

- We’re getting crumbs of Leitner lore. ‘A businessman from Norway.’ I was still somewhat naive as to who Leitner was, but in my chat’s with dodgylogic, I’d sent something along the lines of ‘part of me hopes Leitner is just a normal weird white guy with far too much money and a perverted sense of curiosity and just doesn’t give a damn about the rest of society, because to be honest I can’t think of anything more scary in this world right now.’ I wrote during the US 2020 election week. I feel the sentiment stands.

- ‘I don’t know what his business was…’ I imagine he was in the business of business.

- ‘Portly, middle-aged, short blond hair in the middle of going grey, well-tailored business suit.’… How small would you say his hands were?

- ‘He smiled an odd little smile as he said it, which put me a bit on edge.’ uncomfortable noises

- Next comes a paragraph of ‘he began to get shifty’, lying about permissions and protocol, got ‘very defensive’, when they’re going to go over his head he ‘started screaming that we didn’t understand what we were talking about, that he didn’t need to explain himself to the likes of us’, and, oh yes, this feels familiar…

- ‘… this teenage burnout turned up’. I legit put my hand over my heart and made an affronted noise. So rude about my goth son.

- ‘‘Can you smell it?’ he said, and for a brief moment, I could smell something.’ Once again, l’eau de creepy shit strikes again. Follow your nose to where nobody goes. Follow that smell to find personal hell. Follow the odour for a mental off-roader… I think I’m out. Nope, wait, follow the scent for a psyche descent.

- ‘…with a swing stronger than I would have thought possible from his age and skinny frame.’ My boy is scrappy. When you are fighting eldritch horrors for your life on the regs, you probably develop some functional strength.

- ‘… listening to his CD player and waiting.’ Ah, the early ‘00s. Though, you would have had to wrestle my Walkman away from me, audio books are one of the few things that kept me sane in my early teens.

- The universe of The Magnus Archives, defined as ‘this stuff’ by one, Gerard Keay.

- ‘…but Alf was always too curious for his own good.’ And that’s all The Entities need. One weak link, one moment of curiosity.

- ‘We had plenty of torches…so we each took one large one and a smaller back-up in case the first had any problems.’ Smart. Smart bunnies.

- Seeing as Gerard was the one to put them on to this, I don’t quite know how they thought they had any real reason to stop him at this stage, even if they could. Gerard was the most clued in person in that room.

- ‘…mid-19th century’ would put us at around the same time The Magnus Institute moved from Edinburgh to London, in 1841 and the Carlton Club, quick look up and it’s a private members club and the original home of, oh God, home of the Conservative Party… That explains a thing or two.

- ‘Alf kept asking Rachel if the corridor was getting narrower, and every time, she would dutifully measure the width and inform him that, no, it was exactly five feet wide.’ A woman of rationality and science, I like her.

- ‘I counted thirteen.’ ROLL CALL!

‘I’ve never had any sort of claustrophobia, but I was finding it hard, at points to catch my breath, to dismiss the feeling that the walls were pressing on me.’ The Buried.

‘There was one that, for all the world, it felt like I was going to fall into it.’ I’m going to say The Vast.

‘Another was so dark that our torches didn’t seem to reach more than a few feet inside.’ The Dark.

 ‘…flashes of a pile of paper, completely covered in cobweb,’ The Web.

‘…a figure stood in the darkness, a stranger I didn’t know but was sure meant me harm,’ The Stranger

- ‘…my skin burning, hot, choking on smoke down there in the dark.’ The Desolation.

- ‘Robert Smirke, 1835. Balance and fear.’ Ok, so that gives us 6 years before The Magnus Archives moves to London. 14 years after Millbank was completed.

- I can’t remember why, but I did vaguely remember the name ‘Robert Smirke’ when I first heard it from Jonathan, I can only assume I’d heard it on a documentary somewhere. I’m one of those folks; I won’t watch a movie, I’ll trawl BBC iPlayer or YouTube for a documentary that takes my fancy.

- ‘…often described as ‘theatrical’. Of course he fucking was, he ran in the same circles as Jonah Magnus, of course he was extra a fuck. And he designed the British Museum and the Carlton Club? All just one big, messy, imperialist, conservative ouroboros that instead of eating its’ own tail, it’s sucking its’ own dick.

- ‘We stood there for some time as I explained this to the others.’ Info dump time, my friend.

- Which tunnel did you pick Gerard? Which one were you seeking?

- Tunnel was damper, and the walls seemed ‘oddly slimy’, when Hoard fell his hand ‘came away faintly tinged with red’, ‘lights up ahead’. I’m not sure which, but I’d put money on either The Slaughter or The Flesh. Oh wait no, ‘lights up ahead’, maybe The End?

- ‘He was only a skinny kid, but he was so strong, and kept his footing.’ When you’re fuelled with knowledge and a will to survive, you’re make of hardy stuff.

- Is this the book that we see Mary Kaey with in MAG004? The one that shed small animal bones?

- ‘It makes me feel sick, though, like we’re just abandoning Alf, dishonouring his memory.’ Ooof, buddy. The cover up, the power, the money, the privilege, urgh. I’m sorry, bud.

- I can see why The Reform Club don’t want to talk, but I wonder my Howard Silvana now doesn’t want to discus it? Might go a ways to explain why this investigation has taken a while as Sasha has been trying to speak to people for ‘the last three months.’

- So Jurgen Leitner was ‘one of the premier worldwide dealers in rare and antique books’. Aok, so he did have a career in business that wasn’t only shady shit.

- ‘… I can’t help but wonder whether that was where they were found, or just where they were stored.’ Reminds me of a question that was asked about Leitner books in a Q&A session and Jonny’s answer was along the lines of ‘you’re assuming a Leitner book needs to be written.’

- ‘Architecture is one of his specialist areas,’ Tim has such hidden depths, I love him.

- What the fuck does “A master of subtle stability” even mean? Is it code for ‘unhinged bitch fucking with power you don’t wanna find out’?

- ‘...Smirke’s buildings have higher percentages of reported paranormal sightings than any other architect of similar profile.’ You don’t say…

- Jon calling for Martin like that, like he’s calling a dog to heel…

- And the demon cockney delivery drivers lie in wait… They clock the tape recorder on, can they feel The Web’s influence coming off of it, or is it just that they noticed?

- I love their delivery, like it’s one thought and one breath split across 2 people. They really are a matching set, makes it all the more tragic after season 3.

[p-artsypants]

Lovelace

Convinced that he's unlovable, Adrien is quickly thrown for a loop when Marinette confesses her love for him out of the blue. An akumatization and reveal later, he changes his mind about being unlovable.

Ao3 | FF.net

Self-Indulgent Angst and Fluff.

--

They say that a part of growing up is coming to doubt things you thought you knew. 

Adrien never thought he’d doubt how he perceived love. 

But here he was, the day after a...sort of breakup. He had finally bit the bullet with Kagami and admitted he didn’t love her, so he couldn’t date her. She had taken rather well, knowing that he was telling the truth. And then confessed her own truth, that she hadn’t loved him in the first place. She felt kinship and attraction to him, but it wasn’t love. 

His father, on the other hand, had not taken it well. Not at all. 

The conversation, or lecture rather, had been rolling around in Adrien’s head all morning. Try as he might, he couldn’t shake it. 

How could you just brush off something so awful? So world shattering?

—

Today was the day! Marinette was certain of it. Maybe her Miraculous melded with her finally and gave her the courage. Or maybe it was the nostalgia of the rain pattering on the sidewalk. But today it was going to happen. 

She was going to confess to Adrien. 

She was a little late, still on time for school, but last to arrive to class. Everyone else was already seated and talking among themselves. Miss Bustier was even in, preparing for the lesson. 

Marinette entered the room, eyes on target. 

He looked tired, or bored, or maybe even sad. She wasn’t sure. But she couldn’t dwell on it. She just had to do it. Do it and say it and get it out!

“Good morning, Adrien!” She smiled, her grin large and genuine and portraying the love she felt for him. 

“Oh,” he blinked, his own smile coming in slowly, and dimly. “Good morning, Marinette.” 

She could have forced a conversation, or just made small talk, but the truth just bubbled out of her. 

“I’m in love with you.” She said, still smiling. 

The room fell quiet, and everyone simultaneously heard her confession. 

Adrien stared at her, wide-eyed and...scared? “What?” 

“I love you, Adrien.” She should have been nervous, but she wasn’t. She should have backtracked, and weaseled her way out of it. But she just gave a little shrug. “Just thought I should tell you, finally.”

He wasn’t saying anything, anything at all. He just stared at her. 

Everyone stared at her. Chloe, Lila, Alya, Miss Bustier, everyone. 

Silence ticked by as her adrenaline gave way to embarrassment. 

She just clapped her hands together. “Um, you don’t have to say it back of course. Just Uh...it’s something I had been meaning to say, and I just...decided to get it off my chest. So...okay...” and she awkwardly walked passed him and sat down, her face growing warmer with each step. 

“Girl!” Alya whispered harshly. “What was that?!” 

“My confession. I’ve held it long enough, so I’m finally coming clean.” 

“Why now? Why like that? Why all of a sudden out of nowhere?” 

Marinette shrugged. “Just woke up with the courage.” 

Adrien, for his part, didn’t dare turn around. He kept his eyes laser focused forward, unseeing. 

The room broke into whispers. Complete disbelief, which was understandable. 

But the clock struck the hour, and class was supposed to start. Despite the absolute bomb that had just gone off in the classroom, Miss Bustier got up and started the lesson. 

Marinette wasn’t paying attention to the lesson of course. Horrible thoughts started to roll around in her head, worst case scenarios. He was sort of with Kagami, right? Crap, she had forgotten about that! Ugh, this was all messed up now! He probably hated her guts and he’d get his father to blacklist her from the industry and—

“Adrien, are you alright?” Miss Bustier asked, cutting through Marinette’s turmoil. 

Adrien’s shoulders were hunched, his hands in fists at his side as he trembled. 

He sniffled, and Nino reached out a hand to him. 

Oh god, it was worse than she thought! She made him cry!

Adrien stood swiftly. “I need to be excused!” He shouted, leaving everything behind, before bolting out of the room and slamming the door shut behind him. 

Marinette stared in shock, guilt coiling in her gut. 

“What did you do?” Asked Alya. 

“I...I have no idea...” Marinette whispered back, tears in her eyes. 

“I’ll go check on him,” Lila said, voice full of convincing concern. She stood and left quickly. 

Of course, Marinette didn’t want Lila getting anywhere near him while he was so vulnerable, but was she any better? She was probably the last person he wanted to see. 

But she should at least apologize, for whatever she did. 

There was just something nagging in her Ladybug brain. What would cause someone to cry after hearing someone loved them? 

Had Adrien loved her once, and given her up? Were these words too late and too bitter now? 

She just couldn’t understand. But guilt and heartache for doing this to the man she loved wracked her with pain. 

“LEAVE ME ALONE!” 

Adrien’s voice echoed through the courtyard, stalling Miss Bustier’s lesson. 

Chloe took out her phone and started frantically texting. 

Marinette waited in anxiety. 

A moment later, Lila returned, tears on her cheeks. “He hit me!” She cried. “I don’t know why! I was just trying to offer him comfort! I know it must be hard for him to get love confessions from crazed fans all the time—“ 

“I’m going to talk to him,” Marinette decided. She couldn’t stand another minute. Not another minute of Adrien suffering. She couldn’t allow it. 

“That might not be a good idea...” Miss Bustier began. 

But Marinette scooted around her and out of the room. 

In the courtyard, she could hear him sniveling. 

She hurried down the steps, scanning the room for any sign of him. 

And there he was. Hunched over against the wall. Knees brought up, head resting against them. It was a pose she had never seen him in. 

She didn’t want him to yell at her too. She didn’t know if her heart could take it. 

But she couldn’t help him if she didn’t try. So she stepped closer, making sure he could hear her steps so she didn’t frighten him. 

“Adrien?” She asked softly. 

He whipped his head up, his teeth pulled into a snarl. “I said—!” But then he stopped, seeing her there instead. “Oh, Marinette...” 

It was then that she noticed the scarf on the ground. The one she had made him, that he believed was from his father. 

It was ruined. It had been torn apart, like someone had dug their fingers between the weaves and pulled. 

She crouched and picked it up. 

“It’s garbage.” Adrien clarified. “I don’t want it. I can’t even look at it.” 

She trembled, and tried not to cry. Her confession sent him into tears. Her scarf was subjected to his anger. 

What had she done? Where had she wronged him? And what could she do to fix it? 

“I-I’m sorry,” she started. “I meant to tell you earlier, but you seemed so happy thinking it was from your father. I didn’t mean to lie...” 

He frowned. “What are you talking about?” 

“The...scarf? This scarf? I thought—I made this for you, for your birthday. I signed it and everything, but it must have fallen off or—“ 

“You made that for me?” His voice was incredibly small as he pushed off the wall and stood on shaking legs. 

“I thought you found out...isn’t that why you ruined it? I made you cry...” 

He violently shook his head no, before crushing her into a hug. 

He nuzzled his face into her neck, and dug his fingers into her jacket, almost painfully. “Marinette...” he whimpered. “Sweet Marinette.” 

She stood in shock. So he wasn’t mad at her? She returned the hug, squeezing him tightly and playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. 

“Can you fix it?” He whispered.

“What?”

“The scarf…” he touched the unraveling thread. “If I had known, I wouldn’t have—I would have treasured it more. Please Marinette.”

It was ruined. No doubt about it. Some of the yarn was frayed and snapped completely. 

“I’ll make you a new one,” she promised, “one without any doubt of who it’s from.” She tied a few of the broken threads together and looped the scarf around his neck. It would do for now.

He sniffed and rubbed at his face. “Thank you…thank you…” 

She had never seen him so…undone. Just like the scarf, he was falling to pieces, and she had no idea how to react to it. 

“I know you want to be alone,” she began. “But I don’t want you…to be akumatized.” 

“You’re the only person I want around right now. I trust you and...” he started crying again. Fat tears running down his cheeks, before he tried to hide it with his hand. “I’m sorry...this is really pathetic.” 

“No...no no Adrien, you’re not pathetic...” Summoning every ounce of courage she had, she held his cheek and swiped his tears. “Obviously something happened. You don’t usually cry like this. At least as far as I’ve seen.” 

“I think I’ve been holding it in,” he chuckled lamely. “Kept thinking that my heartaches weren’t worth crying over...but it caught up to me. I’m sorry if I scared you.” 

“It’s okay, Adrien. I guess my confession was the straw that broke the camel’s back, huh?” 

He held her hand to his cheek and closed his eyes with a sigh. “Something like that.” 

Marinette gave him a little smile, though he wouldn’t see it, before reaching down and taking hold of his hand. “Let’s get out of here for a while, huh? We’re good students, we can handle it.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“I’m sure as hell not leaving you alone. Besides, I know somewhere peaceful we can talk. Let me just grab my umbrella.” 

Adrien followed her to the locker room, hand firmly in hers, and not eager to let go anytime soon. 

They walked in silence, as Adrien occasionally sniffed and wiped his cheeks. 

Even though Marinette, the nicest girl he knew, was here now, loving him, his tears still would not stop. 

She took him to the bakery. 

“Marinette!” Sabine scolded. “Why aren’t you at school?!” 

Marinette gave her mother a sheepish look. “Adrien needed some fresh air. I volunteered to escort him.” 

It was then that Sabine took in his face, and her expression softened immediately. “Oh...did...you want snacks?” 

“Not if it’s a burden, Mrs. Cheng.” Adrien damn near whispered.

“It’s not, dear. Not in the least. Let’s see...Marinette says you like almonds, and passionfruit macarons, oh and we have pain au chocolat fresh from the oven!” She quickly made up a bag of goodies and handed them over. 

“Thanks mom! You’re the best!” 

“Yes, thank you Madam Cheng!” 

Sabine gave him an affectionate and painless pinch on the cheek. “Of course, sweetie. You’re welcome here anytime!” 

Adrien’s eyes welled up with tears again, as he tried his damndest not to let them fall. “Thank you,” he whispered, his voice drowning with emotion. 

Marinette took his hand once again, and led him out of the bakery, back into the rain. 

As they paused under the awning, Adrien recognized the umbrella she was opening. 

“Hey, is that...the one I gave you?” 

“Sure is!” She popped it open and placed it over their heads. “Well, in the spirit of full disclosure, I think you should know...that was when I fell in love with you.” 

“All the way back then? And you never told me?” He thought back to all the clues he had, but all the times she declared, firmly, that they were just friends. Even his entire sorta relationship with Kagami, she was just cheering him on. 

“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “I was scared. I had a feeling you loved someone else. So I just let it be. But today, something told me you needed to hear it. That I needed to stop denying everything.” 

He squeezed her hand. “I wish you had told me sooner, but today was a great day to tell me.” 

She blushed, but pulled him away from the door and out into the lightly sprinkling rain. “So what happened? Well, you don’t need to tell me about it, but if you want to—“

“I want to. I should just be telling a therapist, but...I don’t have one. Let me know if it gets to be too much. Okay?” 

“Let me have it.” 

“So...Kagami and I broke up.” 

Marinette exhaled sadly, resting her head on his shoulder, since her hand was occupied. 

“It wasn’t that bad, honestly,” he continued. “I knew that I didn’t love her, and I felt that—well I thought that I loved someone else. So I told her. She admitted that she hadn’t loved me in the first place. She cared about me, but she hadn’t realized that what she was feeling wasn’t love. It was just friendship. I felt better knowing I hadn’t broken her heart.” 

Marinette steered them in an unfamiliar direction, off the beaten path. It was a winding alleyway that made little sense as steps ascended and turned corners. It was a narrow fit, one they had to take one at a time, before they reached the end. 

It was a little garden. There were rose bushes in the corners, and a little fountain with a cherub. A wooden swing with an awning took up a corner, and welcomed anyone that could find the little haven. 

“Wow...Marinette this is so cool. How did you find this place?” 

She shrugged noncommittally and led him to the swing. “I have my ways.” 

They settled, and she tucked the umbrella away. Then silence reigned for a little bit, only broken by the pattering of the rain and the creak of the swing. 

“So?” Marinette finally asked. “If the break up was so mutual, what has you so upset?” 

Adrien sighed, and leaned his head back. “My father’s reaction to the break up. He wasn’t...thrilled.” 

“No offense to the man, but I didn’t think he cared about your love life.” 

“He doesn’t. But he had some contract with her mom that I ruined, apparently. He wasted his time, he said.” 

Marinette swallowed, watching as Adrien stared dead ahead at the fountain. 

“I told him we broke up amicably. And that I did it because I didn’t love her.” He bit his lip and clenched his eyes shut. “‘How could you know what love is, when no one even loves you?’ That’s what he said, Marinette. My own father told me he and my mother, and everyone else...no one loved me. Kagami didn’t and neither does--'' he sobbed. “Until this morning, I thought I was completely unlovable. But you...you know what love is. Your family loves you. So if you say you do, I believe you.” 

She waited for him to finish before enveloping him in the tightest hug she could manage. It was in an effort to squeeze the sadness right out of him. And it seemed to work, as the sobs came like a downpour. He dug his fingers into her, holding on for dear life. 

So much sorrow. So much heartbreak. Marinette swore one day that Gabriel Agreste would pay. How could the man not love his son? Someone as spectacular as Adrien? Who couldn’t love him? 

“Marinette!” Tikki’s voice cut through the emotional moment. She wouldn’t have spoken unless...

Marinette let go of Adrien and unfortunately pushed him away, then she scanned the garden hideaway. 

There, just past the alley entrance, dodging raindrops and heading towards Adrien at full speed, was an Akuma. 

“No! Not him!” Marinette clung to Adrien, this time with desperation and fear. She couldn’t fight him. She wouldn’t fight him. Even if she went back on her own rules, even if she ruined everything...

She kissed him. Right on the mouth. Even if he didn’t love her back, she wanted him to feel good. If she could distract him from his sorrow for just a moment, long enough for the akuma to leave. 

A horrible chill rushed over her body, before she was pushed gently away by the shoulders. 

He had succumbed. 

He was all white. His hair, his skin, even his eyes had turned to porcelain. Cold and hard to the touch, but oh so fragile. The scarf around his neck turned into lacy wings that sprouted from his back. 

“Adrien...” Marinette breathed his name. 

“Lovelace now, I’m afraid.” But he was so gentle with her. He helped her to her feet, and touched her cheek with his stony hand. “Thank you for trying to help, Marinette. But I’ve accepted Hawkmoth’s help this time. He’s given me the power to make people love me.” 

“Is it really love then?” She asked. 

He frowned. “It’s better than them hating me. I’ll start with Ladybug first.” 

She gasped, not expecting to be the first target. She would have expected him to want to get to his father. 

“She’ll never love me otherwise. No matter how hard I tried, how I reasoned with her, how many chances I begged for, she will never ever love me!” A crack formed under his eye. “But I can make her. And once she loves me, she won’t need her miraculous. And then I can make all of Paris love me!” 

“Adrien...this isn’t you. Please fight it!” She cried for him. 

He wiped the tear away ever so gently. That gentleness that was so characteristic of him, but such a difference from where he was now. “Oh, poor sweet Marinette. There will be a place for you when the time comes. You, who loved me without powers. My gratitude is beyond measure. But for now, I suggest you go home and stay out of my way.” His voice took a hard edge at the end, that gave her goosebumps up her spine. She wouldn’t be able to help him as Marinette anymore. Now it was Ladybug’s turn. 

“Okay...” she agreed, and hurried down the alley. Her heart broke with each step. 

Finally, she had run far enough and away to a secluded place to transform. 

“I’m ready, Marinette! Let’s save Adrien!” 

But Marinette had gone back in time, earlier in the conversation. Something nagged at her. 

“Marinette?” 

“He said he was going after Ladybug first.” 

“All akumas do.” 

“But he said it was because I would never love him. No matter how many attempts he made. But Adrien never...” she choked, new tears coming to her eyes. 

“Now I know what you might be thinking...” Tikki warned. 

“Adrien is Chat Noir.” 

“And...what’s the point of even trying to hide it?” Tikki muttered to herself. 

“Oh my poor Chat...we’ll find a way!” She snapped her fingers. “And I have a plan! Tikki, spots on!” 

—

Precious minutes later, Ladybug burst into Miss Bustier’s class. “Madam, I need to borrow Nino Lahiffe!” 

Nino’s eyes went wide. “But I thought—“ 

“Special exception! Now move it!” 

Nino leapt to his feet and followed her outside. Once they were away from prying eyes, she handed him the small compact that held his old bracelet. 

“But Hawkmoth knows who I am.” 

“It doesn’t matter this time. Your friend, Adrien Agreste has been akumatized.” 

Nino looked like he had been shot. “Marinette, girl what did you do...?” 

“On the contrary! Marinette tried very valiantly to keep him from turning. His power is to make people love him. I figured you loved him a lot already, so you’ll probably be immune to his powers.” 

“Hey! That’s genius! The guy is like my brother. Of course I love him! And I’m going to kick his butt for thinking that no one does!” He put on the bracelet and called for the transformation. 

“So I guess I’ll be your meat shield? Take the hits so you and Chat don’t go Gaga?” 

“Chat is out with a family crisis.” Not a lie! “And...I will also probably be immune to his powers.” 

Nino went wide-eyed. “Wait what?! Really?!” 

“Shut up, and don’t tell anyone. Especially Alya.” 

“Mums the word!” 

“Good, now here’s the plan...”

—

Lovelace had garnered an army of adoring fans in the twenty minutes Ladybug had taken to get Nino. 

The Akuma himself was sitting on a bench, and waited, while dozens of fans scurried about. 

“I brought you water, Adrien!” 

“Here, I have an umbrella, we can’t have you catching a cold, Adrien.” 

“Let me dry off that bench for you, Adrien!” 

“What can I do for you?” 

“Would you like a shoulder rub?” 

Adrien didn’t answer to his victims. He just watched them all with a quiet fascination. 

This wasn’t as fulfilling as he had hoped for. Maybe it would be different with Ladybug and his father. 

“There you are, dude!” Carapace called out to him. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” 

Lovelace’s eyes widened and he raised a hand. “Carapace! You will fight for me now!” 

Without even flinching, Carapace took the hit. It just tingled, but had no effect. 

“Aw, come on man. Surely you know I already loved you? You’re my bro, dawg! But I am fighting for you. For your freedom from akumatization!”

Lovelace gaped in shock. “No! You’re supposed to do what I want!” 

“Sometimes what you want and what you need aren’t the same thing. I am on your side, Adrien. That’s why I want to help you.” 

Lovelace pointed to Carapace and told the crowd around him, “subdue him!” 

The fans all dropped what they were doing and ran at Carapace. 

Luckily, Ladybug caught him around the waist with her yo-yo and pulled him away. 

“You were right, Bug. I’m immune!” 

“Glad to hear it. Looks like these folks weren’t though.” 

“Get Ladybug! Bring her to me!” Lovelace shouted, before firing at more people. 

“We better wrap this up before things get out of control.” 

The name of the game was subtlety. Carapace and Ladybug both knew she was immune, but Lovelace didn’t. He shot over and over, begging her to stand still. 

“Just love me, Ladybug!” 

Ladybug allowed herself a misstep, and for the beam to strike her. 

“No!” Shouted Carapace. 

Lovelace opened his arms, beckoning her forward. “Come to me, My Lady!” 

Ladybug held her cheeks, eyes glittering like a rabid fangirl. “Adrien! Oh my sweet, handsome Adrien!” She skipped to him, twirling and giggling like a girl who was completely and totally smitten. “My love!” When she reached him, she took his hands in hers, and kissed his knuckles (so he couldn’t grab her earrings). “You’ve finally caught me, My Prince. I’m all yours!” 

“My Lady...” Adrien breathed, another crack forming under his eye. 

“Don’t be sad, my love! I’m here!” She leaned in, and kissed his porcelain lips. 

One of these days, she was going to enjoy a kiss with Adrien, but it seemed like today was not that day. 

He stood still, holding her waist and indulging her kiss. 

It lasted only long enough for her to wrap her arms around his neck, and yank the scarf free. 

“No!” Adrien shouted, as she danced away from him. 

“Sorry Adrien, but this is for your own good!” 

“You mean...you already...?” 

She winked at him, before she ripped the scarf up, and allowed the Akuma to be freed. 

After purifying, Adrien Agreste sat on the ground, bewildered, but only for a moment. It didn’t take long for his last memories to catch up to him and he put the pieces together. 

“Oh my gosh, I’m so so sorry Ladybug! And Carapace!” 

Nino hugged him, giving him a tight squeeze and then pulled away to hold his shoulders. “Dude, if you ever feel like no one loves you, you just come talk to me, and I’ll convince you otherwise. Got it?” 

Ladybug picked up the now-repaired scarf and placed it securely around Adrien’s neck. Then she lifted him into her arms, like a princess. “Let’s go for a stroll, hmm?” 

Adrien clung to her, shocked and embarrassed. 

The three went to the alleyway Adrien was akumatized in, and Nino immediately detransformed, offering up his Miraculous. “Here you are, Ladybug. Thanks for giving me the chance to help my bro.” 

“Thank you for your help!” She beamed. 

“I got to get back to class. You gonna be okay, dude?” 

“Uh yeah. Just...Marinette?” 

“She’s safe, don’t worry.” Ladybug gave him a pat. “I’ll take you to her, if you’d like.” 

“That'd be great. I should really talk to her...” 

“Kay dudes, I’ll check you later!” Nino waved. 

Then Adrien and Ladybug were alone. 

“I’m really sorry again, Ladybug. I’m usually very level headed...at least I think I am.” 

“Adrien,” she stopped him with a hand in his shoulder. “People get akumatized because they got the wrong topping on their sandwich. I’m really not judging you. You were...a walk in the park to fight.” 

“Thats...that’s good, right? What did I do?” 

“You made people love you. Kind of like...Befona, or Zombizu.” 

“How did you beat me?” 

She gestured to the swing, and sat down beside him. “Well, I knew I would be immune to your attack, so I pretended like I came under your spell...and I kissed you. When you were distracted, I took the scarf away.” 

He blushed all shades of red. “Oh. Wait, you knew you would be immune? How?” 

“Easy. I couldn’t love you anymore if I tried, Kitty.” 

“Kitt—“ he choked. “You...you know.” 

“Yeah. You told me. When you were freshly akumatized, you said you were going after Ladybug first, since she would ‘never love you’ no matter how hard you tried, or how many times you asked...Chat Noir is the only one who has asked me more than once.” 

The dots were still a little too far apart in his mind. “And I didn’t fight you?” 

“Spots off.” 

Adrien watched in shock as the love of his life turned into his beloved friend who had tried so hard to heal his battered heart. 

His eyes were wide and sparking with tears. Drops rolled down his cheeks, and he kept sniffing. 

But he was smiling, oh so brightly. 

“My Lady? You’re My Lady?” He whispered. 

“Hi Chaton.” She smiled.

“You love me...” he whispered again, clenching his eyes shut as more tears came. “You love me, even if it’s just a part. Even if you don’t love Chat...” his eyebrows drew together. “But now it’s all ruined. Because you’re going to change your mind.”

“No!” She practically leapt on him, scrambling to sit in his lap and tucking under his chin. 

Adrien gathered Marinette close, burying his nose in her hair, and letting his fingers play with the hem of her shirt. 

“Adrien, finding out you’re Chat Noir is literally the best thing that could have ever happened. I adore Chat, and I turned down your advances because of you, Adrien. It hurt to keep telling you no. But you deserved to have someone love you with their whole heart.” She pulled back and sat up, so that she was face to face with him. She leaned in, and rested her forehead against his. “And that can be me now, if you’ll have me.” 

“Marinette,” he sobbed. “You really love me?” 

She covered his face in little kisses. “And I’m not the only one. Ask Plagg.” 

As if on cue, Plagg emerged and stuck out his tongue at Adrien. “Yeah, Fartface. How dare you think no one loves you. No one is a bigger fan than me!” 

“You’re a fan, and you’re calling me Fartface?” Adrien chuckled. 

Plagg rubbed against his cheek, affectionately. “Only you.” 

“And Nino and Alya love you. I’ve heard Nino call you his brother, and Alya doesn’t have nicknames for anybody else in the class.” 

This seemed to brighten him as he smiled genuinely. “Yeah...you’re right.” 

“And Chloe loves you. I’m sure if I called her and told her where we were, she’d be over in a second, and ready to crush you.” 

He laughed. “Yeah, she would.” 

“And my parents, and your fans, I bet your bodyguard loves you too.” She kissed his cheek, just because she could. “And I know your mom loved you. Your dad can try to retroactively say she didn’t, but she did. I bet that your father even loves you, but he was so angry, he just wanted to hurt you.” 

“I don’t really care about his feelings anymore.” Adrien lamented. “I finally realized that all the effort I went through to please him and get his approval was a waste.” 

“Well, he doesn’t deserve your effort. Give it to people who will cherish it.” 

“Like you?” 

She chuckled. “Yes Kitty. Like me. I’ll cherish every moment with you. I promise.” 

“You’re going to make me cry again.” 

“I won’t judge.” 

He looked to her, shyly, very much aware of how close they were. “My Lady, can I—“ 

“Yes.” She interrupted. 

“But I didn’t get to finish asking.” 

“True. But you’ve had a lot of no’s lately. I wanted to say yes.” 

“Okay...then, I’ll just...” he slowly closed his eyes and leaned in, fully prepared for her to push him away by the nose. ‘I didn’t mean that’ she would say. 

But that didn’t happen. Instead, her mouth meshed with his, full and wanting. Her arms twined around his neck, and fingers dove into his hair, sending goosebumps down his spine. 

She was delicious. Warm, inviting, soft, and oh so sexy. Her thin frame arched forward, doing everything to be close to him, and he drank it in. 

His Lady. His love. His light. 

He kissed her sweetly, and he kissed her hotly. Tender pecks, and raunchy open mouthed caresses. Their tongues met shyly, passing against each other with tentative grazes. 

And then Adrien pulled away, his chest heaving from the rush of it all. The rush of kissing his lady. 

“Wow,” he whispered. 

“Wow indeed,” she smirked back. She pressed a kiss to his lips, perfectly delicate in contrast to the passion of seconds ago. “You’re amazing.” 

He grasped her shoulders. “I’m amazing?! You’re amazing! I love you! You’re the most perfect girl in the world!” 

“I thought I was trying to hype you up?” She giggled. 

“I can’t help it. Every minute I’m with you, I’m enchanted.” 

“Cheesy, but I love you anyways.” She kissed him. “And I might have a hard time stopping kissing you, now that I know how wonderful it is.” 

“Then we can kiss whenever you want. Before school, during class, on patrol, instead of a fistbump.” 

“Yes to all,” she giggled. “I want everyone to see how loved you are.” 

He leaned against her chest with a content sigh. “Thank you Marinette. I was so devastated. I didn’t know what I was going to do. I had already fought off several Akuma last night. I thought Hawkmoth had given up, but...I couldn’t bear to hurt you.” 

“You didn’t. Honest.” She smooched him. 

He leaned back on the swing, his hand brushing a paper bag. “Our pastries!” 

“See! The day is saved!” 

—

An hour of dancing and kissing in the rain later, two soaked teens wound up at Marinette’s house to change, and then back to school for the second half of the day. 

Nino greeted him with a big hug, and so did Alya. 

“I’m glad to see you’re feeling happier, Adrien,” Said Miss Bustier. “Now I think you owe Lila an apology.” 

He suppressed an eye roll. “I’m sorry for yelling at you, Lila.” 

“And for hitting me?” She egged on. 

“No...I’m pretty sure I just yelled at you.” He frowned. 

Marinette placed a hand on his arm, and it was just enough of a push. He straightened his spine and glared at her. “And I’m pretty sure you deserved it, after you came down and antagonized me. What was it you said? ‘Your father wishes I was his child instead of a sensitive little baby like you’? ‘At least I get stuff done’? You know what, I’m not sorry for yelling at you.” This felt good. Way way too good to just vent. No one interrupted, so he just kept going. “And you know what? I don’t care if you try to manipulate everyone else here and try to turn them on me like you turned them on Marinette! I know I’m loved, and I don’t need the approval of every person I meet. I’m not going to try to please everyone anymore. Especially you, Lila. You are a waste of effort, just like my father. And if he wants a brat liar like you for a kid, then he can adopt you. That’s fine with me! The minute I turn 18, I’m getting married and becoming Mr. Dupain-Cheng! And since you’re so chummy with my father that he told you about our private conversation, then you can tell him all about this too!” 

The class just stared in stunned silence, looking between Lila and Adrien, genuinely confused. 

“Kitty?” Marinette whispered, touching his back. 

“Wow that felt good. I feel empowered! Come here, you!” 

The stunned silence of the classroom was quickly replaced with cheers, as Adrien pulled his new girlfriend up and into his arms, as they kissed like they had been apart for weeks. 

—

Gabriel Agreste would receive a phone call later that afternoon, from Lila Rossi. 

“Mr. Agreste, you will not believe what your son said to me today!” 

“I don’t want to hear it.” He hung up. 

The last thing he wanted to think about was his son. Adrien’s akumatization, which was going to be his greatest masterpiece yet, had been a complete and utter failure. Chat Noir never showed up, and Ladybug didn’t even need a lucky charm. All Hawkmoth got out of it was the worst experience of second hand tonsil hockey between two teenagers. Twice. 

Well. Adrien certainly knew what love was now. Gabriel took the folder that held all the designs and plans for this Akuma...and promptly shredded it. 

--

So, this story is a one shot, and technically complete, though I do want to turn it into a comic in the future. It will be a slow process, but I’ll tag it as Lovelace!

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

tw // genitalia mention, porn mention, sex mention

can an allosexual be sex repulsed? like the sight if any genitalia disgusts me so much. i’m bisexual and i’m pretty sure i’m not asexual. i experience sexual and physical attraction to people of all genders. watching porn is easy but the moment someone’s genitalia is shown, i feel disgusted. i am very sex positive and have nothing against it but i can’t help feel repulsed towards sex. especially penises. what do i do. is something wrong? should i see a doctor? is this normal? please help.

hi anon,

so first off I'm just gonna say you really don't need to trigger warn for genitals, porn, and sex. that's most of my inbox, and it's not an issue, and in any case, slapping that up top does absolutely nothing to prevent me from seeing the remaining content of the ask. if you're worried about other people who might see it on their dash because I post it, anyone who follows me but doesn't want to see this kind of content should hopefully know to block my sex ed tag by now, and/or blacklist specific words like "genitals," "porn," or "sex."

anyway, I think you pretty much immediately answered your own question - you literally said you "can't help feel repulsed towards sex." your literal lived experience is sexual repulsion. you're sex repulsed, congrats.

(there's like, a time and a place to talk about how a lot of Extremely Online queer discourse has created this kind of unfortunate and unhelpful belief that some pretty universal experiences are reserved for people with certain identities and how emphasizing difference over similarities is like, extremely capitalist assimilationist behavior and ultimately awful for alliance building, but now is not that time.)

as for your other questions, roughly in order -

you do whatever you want to do about it, which could range from "nothing" to "concerted effort to manage and mitigate the repulsion you currently feel when you see genitalia." it's entirely up to you to decide how much of a problem this is, and whether or not it's something you want to put the time and effort into changing. the only thing that I'll categorically say you should do is not have sex, because that sounds absolutely disastrous for your well-being at this particular time. maybe stop watching porn, also; that sounds like a deliberate exercise in upsetting yourself at this point.

"is something wrong?" is the sort of nebulous question that I'm in absolutely no position to answer. do you mean is something wrong with you, like, psychologically? my dude, I have no idea. there are any number of reasons a person might not like seeing genitalia, including "just doesn't like it." that may be inconvenient, but it doesn't mean anything is wrong with you.

I'm not sure how much a doctor would be able to help you, because this really doesn't seem like a physical health problem. a therapist might be able to do a lot of good if you're willing to work with them to unpack what exactly it is about sex that's causing you so much distress and how to you can better manage your averse reactions to it. I'm not going to offer you any false promises that it will be a particularly easy or even pleasant process, but it could prove very beneficial if you're serious about changing this response cycle.

"normal" is a word that I don't really like to entertain when it comes to matters of sexuality, because it's almost meaningless whether applied to groups or individuals. when it comes to groups, "normal" isn't nearly as useful as, say, "statistically average" or "healthy." on an individual level, "normal" varies from person to person. being repulsed by sex and genitals might not be statistically average, but that also doesn't mean there's anything inherently wrong with it. again, it's only a problem as much as it negatively impacts you. there are people who are disgusted by sex who live perfectly happy, healthy lives by simply avoiding having sex or engaging with sexual content. if you want to do that, great. if you don't want to do that, also great, that just means some extra work will be required to do so responsibly.

hope that helps

[votederpycausemufins]

It’s a little shorter than the previous chapters, but it’s got some important stuff going on. But things still aren’t going to go well for a bit. in fact, after this chapter, we’re just going to focus on the bots. Maaaybe also Tommy

@petrichormeraki

There was a sigh as the winged figure sat down on a ledge. “I thought I told you I go by Death.”

“Or Dadza.” Grifter spoke up, getting a glare from his dad.

“You do realize I’ve disowned you, right?” Death asked, a bored look on his face.

“Pfft.” Grifter started before making his bedrock prison swing. “That doesn’t stop you from visiting when I call you again and again and again!”

“Because it gets annoying.” Death rolled his eyes before looking at who called him. “Speaking of which, why were you calling?”

“Well first off, that is the worst thing to repeat, why is it so fucking long? Second, can you get me out of here?!”

Death tilted his head from side to side in contemplation. “I dunno. Whole reason you’re in here is because Theseus asked me to, and he’s the one son I still respect.”

“Isn’t Wile still living with you?” Grifter piped up.

“Yes, he is. And while I don’t respect him, he’s still better than you.”

Grifter pouted. “That’s not fair. I’m better than that pussy.”

“Can we go back to the fact that I’m stuck in here because my evil copy wanted me here?!” Tommy shouted to get the attention of the others there. “Why the fuck did he want that?”

Death shrugged. “Well, seeing as how he’s not even in this dimension anymore, I’m guessing it’s so you couldn’t stop him leaving from Hels.”

“Wait, so the others don’t even know I’m missing?!” Tommy struggled, trying to find a way to even possibly escape his current prison, but had no luck. “Phil please can you let me out?!”

Death moved to sit on top of Grifter’s bedrock casket. “You know, normally I would have already. Theseus just wanted you in here long enough for him to leave. The thing is, I’m pretty sure you’d also let Grifter out, and I’d really rather keep him in here.”

“Oh come on Dadza, I’m not going to try and kill you. Remember, I’m a Listener now. That’s all the power I need. It’s just not quite enough to let me out of here since it was made to deal with those powers.” Grifter shifted to try and get a better look up at Death, but had little luck. “I’ll leave you and Wile alone, especially because if I killed you, then I’d probably end up as Death and then I’ll have to leave Sense alone.”

“Right… you did finally find someone, didn’t you?”

“Yes. And I promise I’ll behave.” Grifter spoke in the sweetest voice he could muster.

Death was silent before flying back over to Tommy and breaking the lock in it, letting the bedrock casing open and causing Tommy to fall to the ground below. “Hey! I’m on half a heart now!”

“Hmm, thought that would kill you. Well, if you let Grifter out, I’m fine with that.”

Chains rattled as Grifter shook his prison. “Wait you’re not just letting me out?”

“No. Leaving it up to him.” Death pointed down to Tommy, and then a moment later he was gone.

“Uh, so are you, um… planning to help with that?”

“I’d rather not, but I don’t have a fucking clue how to leave, and I’m guessing this Listener thing is like Big G being a Watcher.”

“It’s the counterpart in this dimension.”

“Got it.” Tommy nodded. “Well I’m pretty much stuck in this world if I don’t help you, so I guess I have to. But that means you have to help me out since I can get you out and know where Sense is.”

“Of course.”

Tommy looked around and was glad to find there was an area that was easy to exit, but it was five blocks up. The walls were also obsidian, so it would take forever to mine up there with his hands since he had nothing in his inventory. “Uh, slight problem…”

“I’ll summon you some blocks or some shit you can use.” Grifter replied, and a moment later there was what sounded almost like a lightning strike and then a few blocks rained from above.

“What the fuck was that?!”

“I get killed every time I use any of my powers. Normally I only do it when I’m really bored, but if we can use it to get out, it seems like a good idea to me.”

Tommy wasn’t sure how to react to that, so he just used the blocks of glazed terracotta - why that block, he wasn’t sure - to build up to the glass of what seemed to be a viewing area. He broke the glass and slid through into the room and started rifling through it. It was mainly bare, but there were a few random items here and there. Also a painting. It wasn’t big enough for anyone to go through, so at first Tommy assumed decoration, but then he looked behind it and found a chest.

“Found the keys!”

“Do you need more blocks?”

“Nah, you gave me enough and I can tear up the stuff in here if I need more.”

“What do you mean Phil’s your grandpa too?”

“I mean that he’s the dad of one of my dads and so he’s my grandpa! And since that’s the same for Grum, Phil’s also his grandpa.”

“Did Techno have a kid?!”

“No. At least I don’t think so. Grum said there were only three of us. Wait does that mean NPG doesn’t count? Maybe because he’s in Hels or something?”

“I don’t understand what you’re talking about. But if you’re not- Did Tommy somehow build you before he died?!”

“What? No! He didn’t build us, and he’s not dead either.” Jrum crossed his arms. “Our dad is Grian!”

“Iskall’s friend?!”

Jrum lit up. “You know Auncle Iskall?”

“Yeah, I kinda hacked into his comm a few months ago and we somehow became friends from it. How does Grian being your dad make you related to me?!”

“I said because his dad is Phil!”

“Then why have I never heard of him?!”

“‘Cause he sort of went missing for a bunch of years. We only found out like uhhh… how many days ago?” Jrum paused to look at his current statistics for the world. “We’ve been here almost a week?!”

“How did you not know that?”

“I don’t know! I thought it’s been two days!” Jrum said, slightly panicking as Fundy pulled out his normal comm and started scrolling up.

“Yeah, it says you two joined six days ago.”

“But that’s not possible! The only time that could have happened is-” Jrum paused. The only time both of them had been off for an extended period of time was when we lost power. And that was when we were with… Mister Sam… Is… did he lie to us?” Jrum looked up at Fundy with sad eyes.

“Well… I…” Fundy wasn’t sure what to tell Jrum, and before he could say much else, the bot was hugging onto his legs with a hug.

“We’ve… also been stuck here that long. Did… is no one trying to help us? Can we not go home?”

Fundy winced, remembering what he had been told earlier as he pulled out the comm Dream had given him. If he said anything more, he might not get another chance, but at the same time, his call with Iskall had probably lasted long enough. “No. They’re trying to get you guys. I was just calling Iskall not too long ago. Apparently your parents are freaking out trying to find you guys. You’re honestly pretty lucky they are.”

Jrum looked at the device and carefully took it from Fundy’s outstretched paw. He looked it over before handing it back, no matter how much he wanted to keep it. “D-Dad and Tommy were really upset at Grandpa and the others. They weren’t really nice to Tommy, so I guess they weren’t nice to you either.”

Fundy shook his head, which made Jrum hug him more. “Well, we can help Grum… a-and then the three of us can try to find a way to Hermitcraft!”

The hybrid smiled slightly then nodded. “Sure, why not. Sounds like it could be fun.” And he turned back to look at Grum.

Just as he did, a window that had been open on Grum’s screen closed. Because of that, neither he nor Jrumbot saw the open application that showed a video feed of the two of them and the blinking red dot in the corner to signify it being recorded. Nor did they see the other flashing symbol that changed between two images. A smile, and a broken portal.

“I don’t understand why he hasn’t shown up yet.” Xannes grumbled and NPG patted his back.

“Aww, don’t worry. I’m sure he’s just a little busy. They are currently going through a little crisis With Grum and Jrum missing.”

“They’re just machines, who cares if they’re gone?”

NPG ignored the way that comment hurt. “You know how much hermits care about others. They even care for you after you’ve tried to destroy the place. As far as they’re concerned, those two are real people. They’re not abandoning them.”

Xannes crossed his arms. “It seems stupid.”

NPG didn’t respond and instead fiddled with some wood blocks in his inventory. He already built them this rustic house and they didn’t need another. If they were back in Helscraft maybe, but things tended to be more down to earth here as far as he knew.

They were quiet a bit longer, just sitting as Xannes stared out at the land ahead. NPG slowly stepped closer before sitting down on the ground next to the hels admin’s chair and pulling out some wool yarn from his inventory. “Here… I brought some along. I don’t have needles though.”

Xannes rolled his eyes and huffled before turning away from NPG, but his hand did come back and grab the yarn before pulling out some spare knitting needles he kept on him.

“Um, did you hear that they can’t get into the world they want to get into because they’re blacklisted?” The robot asked as Xannes started to knit.

“All of them? That’s a little surprising. Have they tested all the hermits?”

“Uh…” NPG pulled out a communicator and typed something into it, waiting a minute before a response came in. “Not yet, but so far no one can get in.”

“Well, guess now they can know how it feels to be banned from a world.”

NPG frowned before scolding his friend. “That’s not a good thing to say! I mean, haven’t you been happy visiting here? They could have said no, but your brother let you in anyway. And you only got that chance because of one of the people that are stuck in a universe they can’t get to.”

Xannes sighed, but didn’t say anything else, just knitting in a way that NPG recognized. The admin tended to knit in slightly different patterns or rhythms based on his emotions. Right now it wasn’t quite sad, but it was at least a little melancholic. So not wanting to make it worse, NPG just sat next to his friend quietly. 

When a certain person clad in pink finally arrived, NPG excused himself to let him and Xannes hang out. The robot found a different room of the rustic house and sort of sulked around. It didn’t take long before he was bored of sulking and found paper to sketch rustic houses on, but he ended up crumpling them up and throwing them away. He didn’t even feel like making rustic houses right now. So instead, he ended up just lying down on the ground and staring at the ceiling.

Eventually, time passed by, NPG wasn’t sure how long, but he only really realized that time had passed at all because Xannes was suddenly standing next to him and looking down. “Have you been here the whole time?”

“Maybe.”

“You’re really upset about this, aren’t you?”

NPG didn’t answer at first, but eventually looked away before speaking up. “Yeah… they are kinda family and all.”

There was a very long sigh from Xannes. “Okay, what’s the world called again?”

NPG’s head snapped around to look at Xannes. “Wait, what do you mean?”

“I mean, obviously the people banned are from Hermitcraft or related to those kids. I’m sure you’re included in one of those, but I’m neither. I’m not family and I’m not from Hermitcraft. Plus my hacking should help out distracting anyone that could give me trouble.”

NPG jumped up to his feet and hugged Xannes. “Thank you! This is so nice of you!”

“Ugh, stop hugging me before I change my mind and contact whoever should no before I try it just in case something goes wrong and I actually need help for some fucking reason.”

“Okay, got it.” And NPG sent a message, giving a thumbs up a few moments later. Xannes nodded back and then pressed a button on his helmet and cracked his knuckles. He checked a few info panels, changing some commands to work for this new world instead of Hermitcraft, then he initiated his teleport.

EvilXisuma joined the world

In all the commotion, Theseus stepped away from the group, taking a stolen ender pearl in his hand and chucking it as far as he could. Even then, he still tried to get more distance to make sure he was really alone and far enough from Philza. Finally, he reached a clearing and checked it over to make sure no one was around. He even double checked before finally going to the center of the clearing and speaking into the air. “I call the goddess of death.”

Immediately, a brisk breeze blew through the nearby trees, cooling the surrounding area. Theseus tried his best not to shiver and just stood still, waiting for the wind to calm before turning around. Standing there was someone who looked like his mom, but dressed in his dad’s clothes. “Mumza.”

“Hello Tommy. It looks like Phil finally told you about me.”

“More or less. Figured some of it out on my own, but he did tell me the last part I needed to know.”

“How have you been? It’s been so long since I’ve seen you last.”

“Been around. Been busy. Shit like that, y’know.” Theseus was glad that she wasn’t around for his other self. It would make it easier to lie. 

“I’m assuming you don’t just want to talk?”

“Well, apparently I have nephews and they got kidnapped and are stuck in the server Phil, Techno and I were in. None of them can get back in, but I was thinking maybe I could. Unfortunately none of them will let me try to help.”

He was given a soft, kind smile. “I’m glad you want to help. I can see why Phil would want to be a little protective, but I can help you.”

He nodded and took the hand the goddess held out to him.

TheseusMC joined the world

EvilXisuma joined the world

Error with processing. Virus found. Attempting recovering. Recovery failed; Too many resources being used. Finding unnecessary memory usage. Found. Disable communicator direct connection. Disabled. 

Files being accessed. Restricted files attempting access. Restricted files require password access. Please input password. Password inputted. Checking password. Password accepted. 

Activation phrase number 652 used. Activating camera. Beginning recording. Recording. Recording. Recording. Closing program. Sending recording. Sending. Recording sent to user level Admin. 

Blacklist check. Attempting Entry: TangoTek. Assigned roles: Hermittown member, Acknowledged associate family, Team ZIT member, Operator. Banned roles: Hermittown member. Acknowledged associate family. Continue blacklist.

Blacklist check activated. Increase displacement by 1.5%. Displacing. Displacement complete. Displacement at 39.5% total.

Opening files at request. Warning, files missing data. Names of referenced files changed. Please update file names. Warning, Error with processing. Virus found. Shutting down.

[hopelesshawks]

Physical Fatality Part 8- The Fallout

18+ Hawks x fem, pro hero!reader

Summary: You’re a rising star in All Might’s agency. Hawks is the darling of Endeavor’s. By virtue of your job descriptions, the two of you are supposed to hate each other, or at the very least be cautiously neutral. For a long time that’s exactly what the two of you did. You stayed out of each other’s way and formed little opinion of the other. One fateful night at an HPSC gala changes all that. Based on the album Hopeless Fountain Kingdom by Halsey.

If you don’t want to see Physical Fatality content blacklist #hopelesspf

This story will have multiple NSFW parts so it is 18+ ONLY minors dni

Masterlist

You walk into the lobby of your agency already tired and irritable. You haven’t slept well the past couple days since the break up. That first night you’d drank well into the night alone in your room. Then last night you’d elected to take the graveyard patrol shift to avoid having to face your empty bed once again. As a result, you have zero patience for the stares and whispers you’re getting as you make your way over to the elevators. It’s early and you already are grappling with the fact you’re about to see Hawks for the first time since he ripped your heart out. As you get into the elevator you have to resist the temptation to groan as a few of your coworkers also enter. It is blissfully quiet for awhile until one of them decides to try and pipe up before exiting onto his floor. “I always knew you were a traitor and a slut,” he sneers at you as he steps out of the elevator.

You will be having none of that. Fuck this guy.

You‘ve already been using your quirk a lot because of patrol so you should probably be giving it a rest but instead you use it to grab hold of the guy, drag him back into the elevator, and slam him up against the side. The couple people remaining quickly scurry out, not wanting to be caught in your anger, as you release your quirk and instead press him against the elevator with a hand on his throat. The elevator continues its ascent but you pay very little mind. “What the fuck did you just call me?” you ask him, your tone lethal. “I-I’m sorry,” the man stutters, eyes filled with fear, “it’s just we all saw the photos of you with Hawks.” Your blood runs cold but you refuse to let this coward see his words have any kind of effect on you. “What photos?” you demand. “The ones of you and Hawks in the alleyway. One of the tabloids ran a whole article on it and now a few others are trying to pick up the pictures and run their own story,” the man explains. The door pings indicating you’ve reached your floor and you’ve gotten the only useful information you’ll get out of the guy anyway. “The fear you’re feeling right now? Remember it the next time you think about talking shit,” you hiss at the guy before releasing him and storming out of the elevator.

You do think back over what he said though. The pictures from the alleyway? You pull out your phone and type your own name into Google. Who cares if you’re late to the meeting at this point, you need to know what the fuck is going on. Immediately the search results are flooded with the article the man was referencing. You pull it up and each successive word has you feeling nauseous. The pictures even more so. They’re from the day you and Hawks broke up, when he had pulled you into the alleyway. You knew it. You fucking knew that was too risky and that you two would get caught. Then the bastard had the nerve to shatter your heart into pieces later that same day. The more you think about it the angrier you become. You don’t make the conscious decision to storm into the meeting necessarily but before you know it your feet are taking you that direction. You shove the doors to the conference room open, causing everyone to turn to you bewildered. They must not have seen the headlines yet if they’re shocked by what they see. Now that you think about it, had you even stopped drowning your sorrows long enough to tell Bakugo and Midoriya about the break up? You’re about to say something, you’re not sure what, when your eyes finally land on Hawks and the bastard has the nerve to also look like he’s had a shitty couple days.

You see red.

You lunge forward at the man who’d shattered your heart and probably just ruined your career. You are desperate to do something, anything, to make him feel a fraction of what you’re feeling right now. Deku and Bakugo are quick to catch you and try to hold you back but you struggle admirably against their hold. When that doesn’t work you reach out with your quirk to pin Hawks, wings and all, against the opposite wall. Tokoyami moves to defend his friend but Shoto gives a slight shake of his head to warn him against interfering. Silver veins crawl up your arms and it hurts but you don’t care because it’s nothing compared to the pain in your heart. “You fucking bastard! I told you we’d get caught! You don’t get to leave me and fuck up my career,” you yell and you see something like shock and guilt flash behind Hawks’ eyes but that only enrages you further. Midoriya and Bakugo agree that that’s enough and so both of them use their quirks to force you to the ground, pinning you. “You need to calm down,” Midoriya tells you sternly. “Fuck off,” you spit back. “No. Calm. Down. This isn’t going to help you but if you explain what’s going on maybe we can sort this out,” he insists. You glare him down for awhile but as the red haze finally fades and your anger returns down to a simmer you finally relax and release Hawks from your quirk. “Good, now, Kacchan and I are going to let you up and you’re not going to lunge at Hawks. Right?” Midoriya asks. “Right,” you huff.

Bakugo and Midoriya release you and you stand up off the floor but uphold your end of the bargain and don’t lunge out at Hawks again. He’s giving you a sad look and it pisses you off but you don’t want to be physically restrained again and Midoriya is right that it solves nothing. “Have any of you read today’s gossip headlines?” you ask. You get a chorus of no’s back, those from Shoto and Tokoyami being confused, but the other three know where this is heading. “(Y/n) I-“ Hawks starts but he’s interrupted by a new voice. “I’m sorry am I interrupting something? A lover’s spat perhaps? You’ll have to get used to those Hawks,” Monoma snarks and you grit your teeth. “What the fuck do you want extra?” Bakugo asks. “All Might would like to see my ex-fiancé in his office,” Monoma replies. You’re immediately filled with dread but you refuse to give him the satisfaction of letting it show on your face. Instead you just glare at him as you turn to leave the room.

The walk to All Might’s office feels like a death march and it occurs to you that you wish you didn’t have to do it alone. Your treacherous heart tells you that you wish Keigo was with you but you shake the thought away as quickly as it comes. You enter into All Might’s office and try not to let your nerves show. “You wanted to see me sir?” you ask as you walk into the office. “Yes, sit down,” All Might says as he gestures to the chair in front of his desk. Even after all these years it’s still odd seeing All Might in his scrawny form. After all you had grown up on the image of the symbol of peace, standing tall and broad, towering above villains. Still, even though he looks positively skeletal, he’s intimidating as ever as you sit across from him. Maybe because he holds the future of your career in his hands. “I’m assuming you’ve seen the headlines,” All Might sighs and you nod. There isn’t much you can say to that. “I figured after you left Monoma, which I still don’t understand, that you would go back to sleeping around but I also assumed you would keep things a little more subtle than this. I mean Hawks? Really? I don’t ask for much, (y/n), but we talked about this,” All Might continues. “I know we did, but-“ you start but All Might cuts you off. “No buts, I warned you what would happen if we went through this again. The agency has a reputation to maintain.” “But this time is different!” “How is this any different than the last time you were caught sleeping around, other than how high profile this one is?” “We’re in love!” It hurts to say it. It hurts because Hawks doesn’t love you anymore but you’re desperate to save your career. “Really?” All Might asks with a raise of his brow. “Yes, really. You can ask Izuku and Katsuki, they’ll back me up. I’ve been seeing Hawks in secret. I know I should’ve told you but we were worried because of the feud. We got sloppy and the paparazzi caught us before we could make an official announcement or anything,” you lie and god how you wish it were true even as you say it. Maybe that’s why the lie is so convincing. All Might sighs heavily, you’re probably giving him a migraine, but he seems to believe you. “All right well if that’s the case we’ll have to set up an interview ASAP so you two can officially announce your relationship and dispel any rumors that you’re back to sleeping around. I know you don’t like them but I’ll be expecting the two of you to make appearances at some of the major HPSC events,” he tells you. “Of course, thank you sir,” you sigh out in relief. You have no idea how you’ll convince Hawks to play along but something tells you at worst you can guilt him into it. “That’s not all (y/n), I’m pulling you from the task force,” All Might adds. “You’re what!? But sir!” “No. I won’t budge on this. Monoma will be taking your place.” “But I haven’t done anything wrong!” “Look I can’t control whether Hawks stays on or not but I can control whether you do. It is a bad idea for you to be romantically involved with someone on the task force so you’re off the team effective immediately. You are to collect all of your notes and files on the matter and hand them over to Monoma. Do I make myself clear?” “Yes sir...” “Good.” You rise to leave the office, frustrated tears already threatening to fall as you make your way to the door. “For what it’s worth (y/n),” All Might says and you pause to listen, “I am happy for you.” You nod in acknowledgment of what he’s said but you don’t otherwise respond. You don’t think any words would come out if you tried and you’d hate to cry in front of you boss.

You leave All Might’s office and head to your desk, fishing out all of the files and notes you’d been taking, all of your hard work from over the past couple months. You then head back to the conference room. The atmosphere is tense and judging by the looks everyone is giving you they’ve all read the article by now. “Monoma can you give me a minute with the others?” you ask, although your eyes never leave the stack of papers in your arms. “I don’t know little Artemis, it’s rude to kick out guests you know,” he replies. “Neito please. You already won, can you just-“ you ask, trailing off as you finally make eye contact with him. He hesitates. He doesn’t revel in your pain, not really, and he never quite understood the magnitude of how important your reputation is to you and to your career. In all the time the two of you had been together you’d never explained, so, because, in spite of everything, part of him still loves you, he relents. “Fine. But I’m going to wait outside because I want to, not because you told me to,” Monoma huffs before going to do just that.

“What do you mean he already won?” Midoriya asks and you hate the pity on his face. “I’m being pulled off the case. Monoma will be taking over for me, effective immediately,” you answer. “What? That’s bullshit! All Might can’t just-“ Bakugo fumes but you cut him off. “He can and he did. I’m lucky I talked him out of worse,” you explain. A heavy silence falls over the room. “Speaking of which,” you sigh as you turn to face Hawks. He looks like a deer caught in headlights. It might have been funny under different circumstances. You steel yourself, he doesn’t get to see you weak anymore, and meet his eyes with cold determination. “Look, about what I said the other day,” Hawks starts and he’s tripping over and choking on his words as if he has any right to be nervous or upset right now. “Save it. I have watched you devour me like you mistook me for bread these past few months. Are you fed now?” you start. Hawks opens his mouth to answer but you shut him down immediately. “Don’t. It’s a rhetorical question. You give me the messiest head and I get you don’t give a shit about me but now my career is on the line so you’re going to listen up whether you want to or not,” you continue and Hawks’ face is turning red, shame and frustration and guilt coming off him in waves. Good. You want to give the impression that you got the message he wishes you were dead. You don’t believe it, not fully, but it will give you the edge you need to convince him to agree to your terms. He looks like he’s about to break into a sweat at any minute so you decide now is the time to give your proposal. “We aren’t done. I am undoing your little fucking break up from the other day. I won’t let us finish yet,” you say, your voice filled with a confidence you don’t have. “Is that a threat?” Shoto asks, but you shake your head before going back to addressing Hawks. “Don’t take this as a threat. All I’m saying is if you don’t love me anymore then lie. If you don’t you’ll end my career,” you finish.

It’s like the air’s been sucked out of the room as everyone waits for Hawks’ response. He never thought it would come to this. He’s never felt so selfish in his life now for how he ended things and the assumptions he made after talking to Endeavor. Perhaps he was naive, just not in the way Endeavor had implied. He was naive to think the press would just leave you alone about moving on when they have repeatedly demonstrated you are their favorite punching bag. He was naive to think Endeavor somehow knew you better than he did based off of nothing but your employer and former hero ranking. Maybe, though, this could be his second chance. Maybe he could use this opportunity to explain and show you he does still love you. “Did you hear me?” you ask and it snaps Hawks out of his thoughts. “I heard what you said. I won’t have to lie, I do still love you. We love each other and that’s not something we can change. I’ll explain everything later,” he swears but he can tell you don’t believe it. He forms his own game plan. Treat you right and you won’t complain, then maybe he can get you to listen to his side of the story and undo the damage he wrought. “Whatever Hawks, as long as we’re in agreement,” you sigh. “I’m serious, (y/n) we won’t have to lie,” Hawks insists and it makes you hesitate. Not for long, but just long enough for Hawks to see a glimmer of hope.

You toss the stack of papers you have onto the conference table and turn to leave. “Where are you going?” Midoriya asks. “I said effective immediately didn’t I? I’m going back out on patrol,” you respond. “Don’t be an idiot, you should give your quirk time to rest,” Bakugo protests but you roll your eyes before ultimately ignoring him and walking out the door. Hawks watches the whole exchange, noting that the silver veins on your forearms hadn’t even entirely disappeared yet even as you storm out. Every move of his will be vital now if he wants to win you back, including the ones he makes in front of Bakugo and Midoriya when you’re not around. He’s sure they’d love nothing more than to rip him apart right now. Monoma re-enters the room and that effectively kills any more conversation that could be had on the matter but Hawks knows what he has to do.

He has to win you back.

Author’s Note: We in the second half now bois and it is a whole nother animal. The inspiration really hit yesterday so I’m hoping I can keep up that energy and get quite a few updates in at a faster pace than the last few before 7 and the interlude were in. These last few have been more overtly connected to the associated song from the Halsey album I think so it may be fun to listen as you read and see what lines you can spot, idk

Taglist [open]: @akkaso @cathy8taffy @eeppff @iikillerkitteh @pixelwisp

[i-make-fun-of-spn-characters]

In a fandom which's hell bent on killing each other how'd you manage such a tension free dash

(this is supposed to be serious but affections, I love you. You don't deserve any hate mails if you do get them!)

.

<3 I really never get hate mail. I literally did not receive my first hate mail until like a month ago (and I am pretty sure I know why). My interactions with fandom have been overwhelmingly positive, and what ugly things I have gotten were easily dealt with or actually so funny that they improved my mood (because I am actually a monster).

The real toxic elements in fandom are truly a minority... a very, very LOUD minority. They literally will not shut up, but more people than you think are fucking sick of them and just want a place to go where they aren't around. The majority of fans here are lurkers. They love the show, but they don't put out content or posts about it. They just like and reblog from other people. Some of them don't even do that—they just follow.

I couldn't tell you for sure how I managed a mostly tension free dash Anon, but this is what I think helps:

I'm a non-shipper but not anti-shipping. Most of the major toxic haters in this fandom really just have a huge chip on their shoulder about one ship or another and have no fucking clue how to fight with someone over something they don't like without bringing a ship into it... case in point: the incest anon from like a month ago who literally thought they could gaslight me into believing I ship incest because I use the word "anti". A friend of mine told me recently that shortly after I started this blog, she saw some stans talking back and forth about a meme I had posted, and they actually reserved judgement on me because I didn't seem like a shipper. What a wild place this is.

I do try to be equal opportunity with jokes, though I admit I pick on Sam the most just because for some reason... I find it very fun. But I don't genuinely hate any of them and I think that comes through for most people so that they feel comfortable following. They know I don't think their fave is some sort of irredeemable monster. The goal is simply to poke a bit at everyone. Once, I posted a joke about Cas (I think about him leaving Dean in his coffin underground LOL), and a Cas fan got upset, but the person they reblogged it from actually commented back to them that it is all in good fun, and I didn't make the joke from a place of hate at all, and they immediately calmed down.

I try to remove hateful and incendiary comments from the notes of my posts so no one has to see them/no one feels inspired to fight over them, as well as long analysis comments (even if I agree with what was said). (I rarely have to do this).

I (used to), in my blog description, threaten to reblog and laugh at people who get mad at me. I just think we all need to be able to take a joke sometimes... and when a joke isn't funny to us, just move on with our lives.

When someone repeatedly seems to get butthurt about certain memes, serially posting little snippy comments I have to remove, I eventually take note and block them.

I try to tag certain topics for blacklisting. If you never want to see anything except jokes and memes, you can blacklist #being serious for 5 seconds. Finale memes are tagged #spn finale poo poo. Shipping jokes (though rare) are typically tagged #shipping and #shippers. Memes about fandom instead of the show/characters are tagged #spn fandom crack and #spn fandom humor. Any wank about negative interactions from hardcore stans or hate mail or anything toxic like that is tagged #get out you louts. Mail is tagged #mail. Hate mail is further tagged #hate mail. Posts and jokes about antis/hardcore stans are tagged #don't feed the stans after midnight.

What I will never do is create a tag designed to help people hunt down jokes making fun of one specific person (besides their name, and their name being tagged is no guarantee they're the butt of the joke). I know what the result would be from doing that, and it's the exact opposite of the environment I want here.

[themonkeycabal]

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, Episode 1 SPOILERS

If you need to blacklist, I will be tagging all things as #tfatws and/or #tfatws spoilers

My roommate keeps calling this The Falcon and the Snowman. I'm not entirely sure it's accidental.

I was going to watch at midnight and then fell asleep. Betrayal. I will not forgive this, brain.

Bucky Barnes character development. Sam Wilson character development. Six full episodes of Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson. When we watched Civil War, did we think we'd actually be lucky enough to get a buddy idiot cop movie? Let alone six hours of it? #blessed

What are we expecting here? I have no idea, honestly. I think all the clips we've been seeing are from the first couple episodes, so they've hidden any sort of plot from us. We know Baron Zemo's around with his stupid purple ski mask and burning hatred for superheroes and probably specifically for Bucky who he tried (and honestly kind of succeeded, before then ultimately failing dramatically) to set up. And Sharon Carter will turn up at some point. OMG guys, Sharon Carter character development!

I'm just here for the buddy bickering and badassery.

SPOILERS BELOW

New World Order: Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes realize that their futures are anything but normal. *Realize*? lol

Also, it's tagged as "science fiction, action-adventure, buddy" Awww.

Aww, Sam looks sad as he gazes at The Shield.

"How's it feel?" "Like it's someone else's." "It isn't."

That's right, Sam! Listen to that voice. That's yours now, baby.

We're just going to roll right into a mission. Rescuing a Captain Vassant, whose plane fell out of contact shortly after take off, from the ridiculously named group LAF, somewhere over Tunisia. Sam's got to keep LAF from doing bad things and the US Military can't be seen doing anything blah blah blah, violation of treaties, yada yada. And Sam's all "blah blah got it". We're on the same page, Sam and me. Nobody wants to hear it, Briefing Exposition Guy.

We will have a Lt. Torres on the ground following along and offering helpful commentary as they go.

Sam is warned to be subtle as he falls backwards out of the cargo plane in very dramatic fashion and then swoops off on his brightly colored wings. lol

Sam gets to the captain's plane but the pilot is dead and a shady LAF guy is piloting. Oh no. Hey, it's Batroc. Last seen getting his ass kicked by Captain America in "CA: The Winter Soldier". He makes some jokes about their prisoner - presumably Captain Vassant. Awful cocky for a guy with a history of getting stomped on, you know.

Anyway, he's about to get his ass kicked by a Captain America again as Sam breaks into the plane. You might just be using wing shields now, Sam, but you're Captain America in my heart. Also, hey, dumb bad guys, don't open fire with an automatic weapon inside a plane or the ricochets might kill your pilot. And his body will slump forward and put the plane into a steep dive.

Batroc distracts Sam while the bad guys gather up Vassant and jump out of the plane with him. They have wingsuits, but Sam has, you know, wings. And like a jet pack. Don't hit the canyon walls, Sam!

Somehow the bad guys have waiting gunships. Did they expect to jump out of the plane over this canyon? I can only assume. Red Wing takes care of one of the helicopters. Man these guys are a pain in the ass. They wing suit into one of the many many helicopters that just happen to be right in the right spot. They're racing for the Libyan border. Then Sam shows up, they throw Vassant out the copter again — this guy is having the worst day — and glide into another chopper.

Man ANOTHER gunship? The hell? They're causing serious ecological damage to this canyon, what with all the zillionty missiles they're firing at Sam. How strapped is this thing?

LT Torres is trying to keep up, and you know, trying to get Sam to not fly into Libyan territory and cause an international incident or some such. Sam is struck by inspiration and not by a missile. But, the missiles are following Sam and Sam is following Batroc's chopper. Sam zooms through the open doors of the chopper, knocks poor Vassant out of the chopper AGAIN (but then catches him), and LAF blows up their own helicopter. Alas, Batroc escaped.

Sam saves the day and LT Torres is like super excited. Don't break your humvee, Torres.

Torres and Sam stop by a tea shop in Tunis, or somewhere. Sam's trying to fix his tech that got a little shot up and Torres buys the tea. A man comes up and thanks Sam for saving his wife. It's sweet. And then Torres gets up and wanders about a bit with his phone as he exposits about LAF. Is Torres about to become a pin cushion? Only instead of pins it'll be bullets? I'm not feeling good about his continued health. He's too cute and earnest.

Oh, he's looking for some sort of hidden, augmented reality tag on the walls. A red handprint, id'ing some group that calls themselves the Flag Smashers. Bad guys are really scraping the bottom of the evil name barrel. Anyway, they think the world was better during the blip. Nothing says better like mass failure of infrastructure and probably world wide famine. They want a unified world without borders. I have big doubts the world would be a borderless utopia during a blip-like event. Power vacuums invite trouble, seldom unity.

Anyhoo. Sam kind of agrees with me, "every time something gets better for one group, it gets worse for another".

Torres will track the 'online chatter'. But he's also heard some wacky things about Steve Rogers, conspiracy theory stuff, "they think that he's in a secret base on the moon, looking down over us". LOL. What? Is Steve a moon angel now? or Santa Claus? "You didn't like fly him to the moon?" Sam assures him that's all very much silly foolishness. Steve's in Boca working on his tan.

Sam's back in D.C. giving a talk about Steve at the Smithsonian's National Air & Space museum. "And he mastered posing stoically". Hey, I have that picture. Also, RHODEY! Hi Rhodey!

"A few months ago, billions of people reappeared after 5 years away. Sending the world into turmoil." Again. I know this was meant to come out before WandaVision, but timeline-wise this works better.

"We need new heroes. Ones suited for the times we're in. Symbols are nothing without the women and men that give them meaning." Sam holds up The Shield. "I don't know if there's been a greater symbol." Aww, he's retiring the shield. He hands it off to museum people and they put it in a display case. I think Rhodey has some thoughts about this. I suspect Rhodey maybe doesn't agree.

Sam and Rhodey wander through the Cap exhibit and Sam's talking about how when he left (or got snapped, it's not like you had a choice about that, Sam), his nephews were babies and now they're little men. Awww. Rhodey says Sam should bring them to D.C., he'll teach them how to fly, "the right way". lol.

Rhodey says it's crazy to think nobody will be carrying the shield. Sam points out they went 70 years without, so like …

Rhodey wants to know why Sam didn't take up the mantle. BTW, this is a cool exhibit, marvel peeps. Sam says it feels like it belongs to someone else … Steve. Rhodey says everything's broken. Allies are enemies, things are torn apart. People are looking for somebody to make it better. Having made his pitch, Rhodey leaves Sam to stare mournfully at the shield. I think you're afraid to pick up the shield, Sam. Afraid you won't measure up. But, you can do it. I have faith. Also, Steve was kind of a disaster in his own way. He wasn't perfect, which was the point of Steve as a hero. Pick up the shield, Sam.

A fancy hotel, chatting people in the lobby, up to a mezzanine, a group of very Russian oligarch looking dudes and their security. And lo! A metal arm punches through a wall and the Winter Soldier, looking very Winter Soldiery appears and stabs some dudes in the neck. This has a sepia, dream/nightmareness to it. Oh yeah, it's his old shiny silver arm. Totally a nightmare/very bad memory. "Hail Hydra" and he kills the head Russian guy. The poor dude who was just chatting in the lobby is caught trying to get into his door. He swears he didn't see anything, begs for his life and the Winter Soldier shoots him. Bucky wakes up, breathing heavily. Poor Bucky.

Glad he's in therapy. I'm sure goat herding in Wakanda was good and peaceful and all, but, goats will only get you so far. Also glad we've skipped the "wanted terrorist" part and gone on to traumatized hero.

I get the feeling he's not the best patient. He lies to his therapist straight off. Twice. lol. "You're a civilian now. With your history the government needs to know, you're not gonna … [therapist makes stabby motion]." lol (I love this actress by the way. She's been in everything for ages. She's great). "It's a condition of your pardon. So tell me about your most recent nightmare." "I didn't have a nightmare." She starts writing, Bucky objects and tells her she's being passive-aggressive, but he gives in.  

He has a list of amends to make and three rules to follow. He crossed a name off. There's a Hydra pawn who's a senator, he helped her get into office. "After Hydra disbanded, she continued to use the power I gave her." Hmm. He tracks her car and listens in on her plotting to have a congressman killed.

* Rule number one: Can't do anything illegal.

He's hijacked the Senator's car and is remote controlling it, making it drive all out of control and freaking her out. He says he was collecting intel to give to an aide to convict her. Absolutely only did that. Not one illegal thing about that at all, no ma'am.

"Rule number two?" "Hmm. What was rule number two?" "Nobody gets hurt. It's a big one." "Then why isn't it rule number one?" Oh, Bucky, you're a jackass.

* Rule number two: Nobody gets hurt.

"I didn't hurt anybody. Promise." He totally broke a dude's hand and then punched him in the face, knocking him out. I mean, there's levels of 'hurt' I suppose.

"The whole point of making amends is to fulfill rule number three." "Of course I completed rule number three."

* Rule number three: "I am no longer the Winter Soldier. I am James 'Bucky' Barnes. And you're part of my efforts to make amends." He says to the corrupt senator he's just been terrifying. And then he walks away as a tac team pulls up. lol.

What I'm getting from this therapy session is that Bucky is a big fat fibber.

Also he's got a little black book full of names. Including, I see, H. Zemo. That's not going to go as smoothly as taking down a shady government fatcat, I think.

"So you did it all right, but it didn't help with the nightmares?" "Well, like I said, I didn't have any." Fibber.

People wanna help you Bucky and you can trust them. "I trust people," he mutters grumpily. She asks for his phone and he hands it over. Look, lady! Trust! Probably government mandated trust, but still!

"You don't have ten phone numbers on this thing." … I don't have ten phone numbers on my phone. :( "Oh, and you've been ignoring texts from Sam." Well …

"I am the only person you have called all week. That is so sad." lol. Tough love from the therapist. I'm feeling a little judged myself, though. "You're alone." ALRIGHT DON'T RUB IT IN!

"You're a hundred years old. You have no history. No family—" "Are you lashing out at me, doc? Because that's really unprofessional." I love you Bucky, but you are a disaster patient.

Bucky relents. "I'm trying. This is new for me. I didn't have a moment to deal with anything. I had a little calm in Wakanda. And other than that, I just went from one fight to another for 90 years." Get this man a goat farm!

"So now that you've stopped fighting, what do you want?" "Peace." A goat farm. "That is utter bullshit." lol "You're a terrible shrink." "I was an excellent soldier, so I saw a lot of dead bodies and I know how that can shut you down. And if you are alone, that is the quietest, most personal hell." Get some friends, Bucky. "I know you've been through a lot. But, you've got your mind back. You're being pardoned. These are good things. You're free." "To do what?"

On the streets of Brooklyn. Bucky breaks up an argument between neighbors about trashcans. Hey, Bucky has a friend! Yori Nakajima who's probably like 80+. Did you babysit him back in the day, Buck? har har. They were going to meet for lunch, but some punk named Unique was putting his trash into Mr. Nakajima's trash can and just derailed the whole day. The horror. No joke, though, people get so nutted up about that. It's weird to me. Of course, I did also have a neighbor who never put out his trash for pickup and just snuck out at night before trash day and distributed his garbage into in other people's bins. Cheapass.

"Hey man, I'm Unique. Like Monique but it's got a 'u' in there for uniqueness." Yeah, you should have let Yori smack him, Buck.

Well now Yori is just not in the mood for lunch. Bucky tries to persuade him, but one grumpy old man out grumps the other. "But Izzy. We always go to Izzy on Wednesday. What if I buy?" "Fine. But no talking." lol. BFFs!

Yori is looking at the obituaries. "Look, nobody made it past 90 this week." Bucky tsks "So young, such a shame."

Bucky kind of smiles at the girl behind the counter at the sushi joint, Yori tells him he should ask her out. Bucky makes a "are you nuts, shut up" face. That doesn't stop Yori. "He would like to take you out on a date. Maybe to bingo or a night of pinochle." You're a wild man, Yori!

She's down by it, though, and she and Yori hammer out the details while Bucky's like uh, okay, so wow, that's happening. "There's a dance to these things. You can't … you gotta warm up and I haven't danced since 1943."

Yori sees something and suddenly gets sad. His son loves red bean mochi. His son was a consultant, working abroad and he was killed. Oh. Oh Bucky, why you gotta … Yori's son was the innocent witness he killed at the hotel in his nightmare/memory. "I will never know what really happened to him." Brutal.

Delacroix, Louisana

Sam's on his way home. Wilson Family Seafood. Aww. His nephews are helping mom with the catch. "Blue for the snapper, orange for the white fish," Sam calls out. The boys run over to him. They do look like fine gentlemen. It's weird, Sam, I get it. I recently realized my oldest nephew will be 13 in May and it's like "no, he's only in kindergarten, what are you talking about?"

His sister greets him then tells him he's looking all sneaky. Sam deflects. Their boat has seen better days. The Paul & Darlene. Aww. Is that his parents names? "Baby being held together by duct tape and prayers." Just needs to float long enough for his sister to sell it. But Sam's all, uh I thought we were going to *discuss* that. Uh oh, family drama. "We did, and then you were off fighting Dr Space Cape or whatever (lol), while I was holding it together for five long years." Ouch.

Sam is not down by this selling the boat thing. His sister doesn't seem to think they're in a position to hold on to it. Also, she'd really like to not hash this out on the pier with like twenty other people around, Sam.

They get into more of an argument on the boat. The family biz is not doing well financially. Sarah won't let Sam help for some reason, and he makes some comment about the house and loans and she punches him in the chest. lol "I forgot how hard you hit."

Sam insists they can turn it around, consolidate loans. And she's all, been there done that, I've come to terms with this. He's a persistent little jerk. This is such a perfectly sibling argument. Notably he has moved himself out of punching range.

Aww, she wants to believe he can save the boat, but she has DOUBTS.

Back in Brooklyn. Bucky attempts his date. He turns up at the end of the sushi girl's shift and gives her flowers. "Well, if that's not the most adorably old-fashioned thing anyone's ever done."

They chat while she tidies. He tried online dating oh lol. It didn't take. She tells him "You sound like my dad. Wait how old are you?" "Hundred and six." Oh yeah, what a funny joke. Next she wants to know why he's wearing gloves. "I have … um … poor circulation." He grimaces at himself and glances out the window. Smooth as silk, Bucky. Smoooooth.

"Let's play a game." Now, I'm thinking like some weird dating word/get-to-know-each-other game or something. I don't know. But, nope, she means Battleship. lol. I like her.

The drinking game version of battleship. Bucky sucks at it. "You sure can drink." "Yeah, well." Super assassin, unfair advantage.

We're just going to rub in this whole The Winter Soldier killed Yori's son thing, as she says it's nice that he's spending time with the old man. Since he was all messed up after his son was murdered and how it was extra hard because he didn't know what happened. I'm not sure this is healthy, Bucky.

"There's no word for someone whose kids die." Okay, ouch, lady, jeez. Bucky looks like he wants to puke. Or crawl into a deep dark hole. Or something. "Because it's the worst thing that can happen." Bucky nopes right out the front door. So, maybe they should have played pinochle instead.

Bucky goes to Yori. Are you really going to tell this man you murdered his son when you were a brain-washed Hydra assassin? Yori asks how the date was, and Bucky sees a shrine to the man's son in the apartment. Poor Bucky. He makes some excuse about owing Yori for lunch and leaves. Yori's name is in his book of amends. :(

Back in Louisiana. Sam and the kids are packing up meals. His sister maybe wants to sell meals in addition to fish. Sam says they've got to get going to their appointment at the bank. She's says it's in an hour. Sam must be just the worst brother to live with "There's no such thing as on time. You're either early or late. Pick one." Man, no wonder he gets punched.

Switzerland

Lt Torres is walking down a street with an unusually large number of people just sort of milling around in the middle of the street looking at their phones. He's got his kind of hidden, recording. He stops a guy and asks if he knows what they're supposed to be doing. Oh it's the flag munchers, or whatever. There's a weird phony bird whistle and then people gather around a person handing out masks with red handprints on them. His decoy bad guy phone chirps and gives the order to run. A guy jumps out of a nearby building with two huge duffle bags (of money it seems) and walks off while the previously milling people become a seemingly panicked mob, distracting police and whatnot.

Torres tries to arrest the jumper guy, who appears to have some super strength as he kicks a policeman halfway across the street. Torres, you're cute, but not super bright. Torres gets body slammed and then stomped. He survives again, however, defying the odds.

At the bank. The account manager keeps giving Sam the side-eye as he goes through their paperwork. "Do I know you from somewhere." Sam's all modest, "I don't know. Do you?" And then he makes a little wing flappy move with his hands. lol. What a nerd. "Falcon!" Then he takes a selfie with Sam. Sarah is very done with all this. She tries to get them back on track. Account guy wants to know how Avengers make a living. Probably not looking good for your loan, Sam.

"Is there some kind of fund for heroes? Or did Stark pay you when he was around? My condolences, by the way."

Yeah, financially this is looking bad, my dude. "You have no income over the last five years." Well, but, he was blipped. I mean …

Alas, shot down for the loan.

Sam and Sarah argue on the street. Ah, Sam ran off to the Air Force and didn't deal with what was going on at home. Oh my, this is getting ugly. Speaking as someone who got disowned on account of a family business, let me just say, they're not easy. Nuh-uh.

"Half the boat's mine and so is the house. We're not selling our family's legacy." "You gonna do me like what when you know I'm right?"

I get it might be awkward to ask, but I bet you could have asked Pepper for a loan, Sam, and she would have given it to you gladly. Come on, man.

Later. Sam's working on the boat's engine, and it's not cooperating. In the cabin he looks at the family pictures on all the walls. He's having a rough day. About as rough as Torres who texts him to find a secure line and call him along with a selfie of his bruised and battered face. #important (lol, really?)

Sam watches the footage Torres caught and they chat about how Torres was supposed to be doing that stuff online and not getting his face kicked in in Switzerland.

Sarah interrupts and turns on the TV. Some guy is giving a speech about how everybody needs a hero. "We need someone who can inspire us again. Someone who can be a symbol for all of us. So on behalf of the Department of Defense and our Commander-in-Chief, it is with great honor that we announce here today that the United States of America has a new hero." hmm, no comment. Except, you should have taken up the shield, Sam. Now it's Sam's turn to look like he's going to puke. What did I say about power vacuums? Somebody will fill them, whether you want them to or not. 

This new guy looks like a goober. There, I said it.

credits

So … lots of setup. And very clear on the two guys trying to figure out where they fit in this world post blip and big wars. Both of them trying to fix broken families.

Plus a goober in a Cap suit.

So far so good. 

[ofcamerasflashing]

thank you for the tutorials, what things should you include in your rules?

Rules are a big must have on your blog.  How you do it is up to you from using carrd,  google docs, a post that you pin, or a page but it is something that everyone is going to look for.  I’m someone that likes detailed rules with a bullet point system at top as well.  The reason I say this is because I’ve ad people that 1) don’t read rules 2) go IT”S NOT IN YOUR RULES even if it was a common thing to expect.  I will personally take a page that has three rules over no page at all.  This whole thing is very much a rough guide and you can pick and choose what you prefer to have on your rules page but hopefully this helps get your wheels turning inside of your head on what you want to add into your page.

 Your penname,  age,  timezone, and pronouns.  If you feel comfortable sharing ethnicity and place that you live in (state / country ) than put that there as well.  

Triggers:  How do you tag your triggering content?  remember that fancy tags with // or anything might not pick up on the blacklister.  Do you have any triggers yourself  (Please know there is a difference between a trigger and something that just makes you uncomfortable).

What content makes you uncomfortable and would prefer if you don’t be approached for plots like this.

Smutting:  Do you smut?  Are there any rules about smutting that go into place when it comes to this content?  Maybe you are someone that will only rp it on discord,  with close friends, etc.  Also a good time to mention if you use the read more feature and if you tag it  (Which you should tag it in my opinion).

Banned fcs:  Any faceclaims that you won’t write with?  You aren’t required to state the reason you won’t rp with a certain face on your rules doc. 

Banned characters / tv shows:  This is really helpful and for me as an example the show I would ban is 13reasonswhy for several reasons although I do believe the whole big excitement level for those has died down so having it in my rules isn’t needed for me personally.

DNI:  If you’ve had a bad experience with someone in the past I’ve seen people use one of these.  Do not interact is what DNI stands for.  This means if you are friends with, write with, etc then following this blog is a no go.  I have personally never used one of these 

OCS and Relationships with your character:  Are you fine with original characters? What makes you comfortable interacting with an original character?  The second part is really a good idea if you play a canon character to a tv show.  If you aren’t comfortable with something tell the document.  So say I’m playing Klaus Mikaelson and I’m uncomfortable with original character children that I have not heavily plotted with that would be there. 

Formatting:  How do you format your text?  Is there a certain aesthetic that gives you a headache?  Does aesthetic matter to you?

Threads:  Do you like certain thread lengths?  How about how long it takes for you to normally to write a response back?  Is there a type of thread you can’t do / don’t want to rp? For some people the idea of smutting is a turn off and won’t be written.  This can also really go in the smutting section as well if that is the case.  

What are you looking for in a partner:  Are you more into rping with people that match length?  What about the age limit of your partner? In the fandom that I’m in a lot of people are +20 meaning the comfort level is to only write with players that are 20 years old or above.  

Posting:  Is there a certain time of day that you will likely be posting in?  Is your blog queue based?  Do you post your replies as soon as you finish them? Tell everyone that sort of information if you feel it is needed.

Ask memes:  Are you a reblog from the source? Are you the type of person that prefers to have a plot before someone sends in a meme? How many memes is too many for a partner to send in at a time?

Credits:  Did you make your icons?  Did you make the psd? is there a base you use on something?  Did you borrow inspiration from another blog (with permission)? 

Contact information:  I’m not saying that you need to put your facebook information there,  a picture of yourself, or anything for that matter.  I’m talking ims,  discord, anything like that.  I often times just put my discord information right there because I’m not overly concerned with getting requests from strange people I haven’t followed back.  I put that when I add you that you should tell me who you are so I know.

Status:  Are you private? exclusive? mutuals only?  Not picky at all and will write with everyone?  Put that all here because it is helpful information to gather.

Mains and exclusives:  Who is a main for you? Who are you solely only ever going to write with this fc or character with?  How do you go about getting mains and exclusives?  Any rules on that to help someone know what is okay and what isn’t.

Currently looking to make a mini series full of questions, guides, and more to help people learn about the indie rp world.  If you have any questions,  requests,  etc feel free to drop them into my ask box.  Please note that this is just my opinion on things and from my experience and there is no right or wrong way to do this.  I’ve only ever written in the fandom / canon character fanbase but that still provides with a lot of information to help others. Been writing in the indie world of rp since at least 2013 and been on tumblr since 2012.

[420pogpills]

Hello, hello! I thought I would reach out for some advice if you don't mind??

I'm very new to the fandom and it's become a hyperfixation of mine, and was glad I found mcytblr because it feels safer than twitter and other social media!! However, I noticed a lot of people considering leaving the last few days because more and more toxicity and negativity is leeching onto here that is akin to twitter. One of my favorite blogs actually went on a possible permanent hiatus over it and it was disheartening to see it affect them that much....

I guess I'm just really panicking and afraid?? I feel like I've joined the fandom during a really volatile time and I'm worried that the toxic side of the fandom, moving on to new fandoms, etc. will drive away my mutuals and such and the vibes won't be the same anymore and get worse and worse. I know realistically, new blogs will likely take their place as new people join, but that doesn't change my anxiety surrounding everything happening on here. It hurts because mcyt has started to mean a lot to me and the community is hurting and there is no sign of it slowing down any time soon...I just...idk if I have the proper words but watching the positive side of mcytblr wanting to leave is affecting more than seeing the negativity on here. I'm worried it'll be a ghost town on tumblr in time despite the ccs + mcyttwt's growing popularity :(

Also, this is techinally a sort of response to your ask post about telling you your vibes! You honestly give off older sister energy and you always seem to have wonderful advice and resonate a comforting energy when you respond to your asks. Hence, why I trust you enough to open up about these concerns. You just have a welcoming presence!! <3

hello there!

first of all thank you so so soooo much for your super sweet and kind words 💖🥺 i really appreciate that, thank you! makes me so happy that you feel comfortable writing to me!!! i'm very happy to hear that :D

second of all, i know often it may seem like it, especially if you frequent twitter more than tumblr, but i fully believe the positivity outweighs the negativity! there are so many lovely, kind, creative, incredible people in this community, that makes me very happy that i ever joined 😊 it's so exciting to be part of such a fun community where you have so many people to talk to, we've all got so much in common it's just really fun!

this got super long so i'll put it under here ❤️

so in my personal opinion, your experience depends entirely on you! i promise you that if you follow the right people, 9 times out of 10 you will not see any negativity unless you look for it! i myself almost had a breaking point and was considering leaving the fandom, because while i was enjoying myself on tumblr - i also had an account on twitter and boyyyyy i was just following all the wrong accounts.

i realised that twitter offers me absolutely nothing, so i've unfollowed everyone and only follow my favourite content creators, a few artists and give or take a fan here or there - people whom i know will not engage in negativity!

on tumblr is even better, because you can tag and blacklist things so you won't see them. makes it even easier to avoid toxicity and negativity. and one of the most important things i learned is that for your own sake, for your own mood and mental health - don't engage. sometimes you really want to, sometimes you see someone say something very ignorant or disrespectful, and you just want to say something, but i promise you it's so much better and easier to just unfollow and go about your day! if anyone is deliberately being nasty to you, just block them, i promise it's not worth engaging!

honestly more often than not, you'll be fighting your curiosity more than negativity. for example i won't see anything bad about dream, but i'll see people say 'did you see what they're saying about him on twitter??' - and i will only see that stuff if i actively go and search for it. so you gotta try your very best to stop yourself from searching for things :P

in a lot of cases i think people make themselves sad unintentionally. because they worry too much or care too much, too often, about things that we don't really need to worry so much about. whether it's about some old controversy, or if dream and george had an off day and suddenly people are stressing out that their friendship is falling apart, or some streamer is accusing them of something - the less attention you give it the better, the less you worry about it the better.

of course it isn't your fault if you hyperfixate, but you have to try your very best to remember that your mental health is most important! so above all, you have to take care of yourself the most! so i think those people that are choosing to leave, are doing just that :) maybe they'll just take a break, maybe they'll come back, maybe they'll stay altogether - but the best thing to do, is doing what you know is best for you!

i don't know if that helped at all, i feel like i just said a lot of words and not a whole lot of sense haha! but my point is that you need to trust yourself the most :) trust that you'll be able to handle if it's too negative at times, trust yourself that you won't let negativity affect you to the extent that it will impact your mental health, and trust that if god forbid it ever gets to that point, that you'll be able to take yourself out of it! ❤️

i'm always here if you wanna chat! :D

[madasthesea]

I’m sorry for being so mean. I had a really bad day and didn’t mean to say such awful things. But I am frustrated my fics always get ignored, especially by the big names in the fandom such as yourself that claim to support everyone. I’ve written so many fics in this fandom and have been doing so for over a year, yet I only have 30 subscribers. I get really frustrated and feel like I’m a bad writer because everyone ignores me and my fics. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. I’m sorry.

(2/2) For a fan community that claims they are inclusive, everyone sure doesn’t act that way. Everyone already has their friends and people like me who don’t have many friends get ignored. The big names in the fandom don’t support or read the fics by the new people. It’s not just me. I’ve never received a single kudo or comment from you or anyone else that’s popular like you. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong but people don’t read my fics.

Ok, I’m answering this in the middle of the night in the hopes that not a lot of people will see it so it won’t become A Thing and then as soon as this fic exchange is over I am turning my anons off forever. Anon, I guess I have to give you credit for coming to apologize, but I have to say, where before I was perfectly capable of laughing off your extremely rude message, I have to say, now I’m annoyed. Because there is not a single instance or bad day or frustration that makes what you said acceptable. You came into my inbox and threw a temper tantrum because you knew my name and I happen to have anons on unlike most of the “fandom big names.” You told me I had the worst fics in the fandom, told me I publish outlines instead of stories and accused me of writing incestual pedophilia because you had a bad day? I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you’re young because that is the only possible excuse I could give you. As I said in my original response, if I were already an anxious writer, you could have caused me to delete all of my fics and put me off of writing forever. Someone commented on your original message and said that they don’t post their writing because of messages like that one. You’re right you shouldn’t have taken it out on me, and you wouldn’t have if your name had been associated with it. But here we are, and I’m going to try to make it so this never happens again, at least with the two of us. 

Now, onward to your frustrations. I am sorry that you aren’t getting the attention you want, but one) yelling at me on anon isn’t going to fix that. Two) not to be like callous and insensitive, but that happens to almost every writer I know. I’ve been writing fanfiction for 12 years. This is the seventh fandom I’ve written for and no one ever read my fics before this. My first year on AO3 I published six stories and had 500 views total. I get the frustration, but sometimes you just have to get the perfect combination of exposure, plot, and interest. Three) Do you have any idea how many stories get published in the Peter Parker & Tony Stark tag a day? I’m sorry, I can’t read all of them. I don’t want to read all of them, in fact I have 14 different tags blacklisted. Just because I am a “big name” does not mean I owe you a comment or a kudos. If I like your story, I will tell you. Chances are, I haven’t even seen one of your stories, because I’m an adult with a job and hobbies and writing of my own to do. Most of the “big names” are the exact same except a lot of them also have school. If you want someone to read your stories, ask them. Say “hey, I respect you and your opinion, could you look at this for me?” They will probably say yes unless they have a good reason not to. Don’t just sit there and wait for it to happen and get mad when it doesn’t. Also, this is the third time someone has yelled at me for not reading or commenting on their fics and it makes me less inclined to leave kudos in general in case someone comes and gets mad that I read their fic but didn’t comment. So uh… don’t do this again. 

As for the community, do you want to know how to make friends? Send asks (nice ones) not on anon. We can’t interact with you if you don’t know who you are. Reblog our fics. Comment on our posts. You can’t make friends if no one knows you exist. And the only way to show you exist is show yourself in our notes, in our inboxes. Sitting in your corner of tumblr and being bitter isn’t going to help anyone. This fandom is welcoming and it is kind and it is supportive. You saw how many people came to my defense tonight. If you talk to those people, they’ll talk back, but they can’t reach out to every single Irondad blog, it just isn’t feasible. 

And finally, how to get your fics read more. Like I said, part of it is just… luck. I got in at the very beginning, as did losingmymindtonight, parkrstark, several others, and had already established myself before IW came out and the fandom got bigger. Lucky break on my part, but I’m also a good writer because I’m 25 and I have a Master’s in a writing heavy field and I’ve been writing my entire life. Sometimes it just takes practice. But there is stuff that all good fics have in common, so here we go:

1) Good grammar, good spelling, good punctuation.

I don’t know who you are so I have no idea what your writing is like, but this is stuff I had to tell college students as a teacher, so I’m just going to go over it. 

Are there line breaks between every paragraph? No? There need to be. It’s hard to read when all of the words are bunched together, meaning automatic exits will happen, regardless of content.

Do you start a new paragraph every single time a new person speaks? You should.

“When someone is speaking,” I asked, “do you put a comma before the speech tag?” Commas, not periods. Not periods then commas. Punctuation goes inside the quotation marks. 

Are you writing in first or second person (I or you)? Don’t.

Pay attention to your tenses. It is very confusing reading a story that switches tenses every sentence. 

Are you capitalizing the beginning of every sentence and proper noun? You have to. Reading all lowercase takes energy and concentration and readers don’t like to put more effort in than they’re used to. Also it’s just pointless.  

Get a beta reader. Get grammarly (but the free version, don’t pay) or another editing service. Google anything you have a question about. EDIT YOUR WRITING. 

2) New ideas

Every fandom has tropes they love, but not every fic can be a trope fic. Every fic I write is, if not completely new, a spin on a popular trope.

Yes, there are some popular field trip fics, but most of them get lost in the weeds because they are all the same. And most of the people I talk to don’t even like them. (This counts for May dies fics, sensory overload… If you’re going to write it, you have to make it different and you have to make it good.)

Look to other movies or books for ideas, check out irondad-fic-ideas, something. Write something new, something only you can write, and at least some people will notice.

3) Good characterization

Now apparently everything I write is OOC, so maybe I’m not the best person to be giving advice on this :/ (I’m still annoyed. I’m getting over it)

BUT–the best way to write a well-known character is to know the source material. Listen to the way they talk, watch how they move. Ignore fanon. It’s hard, but try. Peter isn’t actually a perpetual ray of sunshine, chatter box 12 year old like we often write him, Tony isn’t 100% sarcasm and incapable of recognizing his own feelings. 

If you can hear the character say it in their actual voice, it’s probably a good line. 

4) Misc.

Fandom rule of thumb: cute fluff and hardcore whump win out over deep character studies on convoluted plot lines. If you’re just looking for hits or maybe a fic to establish yourself, that’s a good way to do it. 

If you’re posting a multi-chapter fic, don’t post it all at once. People will comment on each chapter as you post and you’ll get more hits. 

Respond to comments, especially at the early stages. It makes your readers more invested, it builds friendships, and it makes your stats look better. 

There’s a blog that supports little known writers in this fandom! Rec your fics there!

Make sure to never, ever put “I suck at summaries” or “fic is better than summary” it is an instant turnoff. If you can’t write the thing that makes me want to read the fic well, why would I think I want to read the fic?

Tagging on AO3 is vital. Tag the right relationships, tag the right emotions (angst, fluff, hurt/comfort). I often sort just by these. Always put in the category, (M/M, F/M, etc.) and the rating. There is no reason not to, but not doing so makes people less likely to read. Always tag triggers.

Never steal fics or ideas. If a story inspires you, you can ask the author if you can write something similar and then link in your story back to theirs. Nothing will make you less popular in a fandom than stealing work.

Lastly, I know authors constantly talk about how important comments and kudos are, and they are so important to bolstering spirits, I get that, but if you aren’t writing for yourself first, you will always be disappointed. You should enjoy your fic as much when you read it in your word doc as when you read it online with comments and kudos. And maybe you write really niche stuff that doesn’t appeal to a lot of people, but churning out carbon copies of the Fandom Tropes and hoping for hits is not going to satisfy you and you will keep being frustrated.

Let’s not do this again, shall we? Next time you have a question, ask me nicely.

[0nho]

raw wip I started last year. tried working on it some more. it actually got really long. university fluff mostly. a dilemma where everyone is a bottom (or are they?), minho pov. very rare occasion I try to use all 5 in a story...

---

Kim Kibum is now the co-president of the university's one and only pride club, actually. Kibum and Jonghyun get along quite well; similar interests and tastes from fashion to men. They do a good job of keeping the club running despite its opposition. 

"Eat ass.." Minho mumbles, not in the mood at all for Kibum banter yet. 

"Gladly," Kibum smiles, flicking his dyed brown and blond highlight haircut that looks like a mullet, "I actually get laid."

Minho can't stand Kibum's fox-like grin, and never has. It mocks him. "I see the westerner's '80s fashion threw up on your big head."

Kibum's full attention is drawn away from his phone. "What did you just say, alien-bug-looking-face, receding-hairline-big-ass-forehead-looking-prick!" 

Minho uses his palm to brush his short fringe forward, brows furrowed, feeling that exchange was below the belt. No need to go after each other's complexes. 

"Kibum says he got dicked in the military.." Jonghyun says, changing the subject back to dicks, naturally, proud of the younger man regardless of the risks involved with that sort of engagement. 

Minho looks dumbfounded, shocked anyone would walk that line considering at worst a prison cell awaits. "You didn't!" 

Kibum's expression, like some cheshire cat, doesn't give away if he's lying or not. 

"I did," Jonghyun raises his hand, always proud of his exploits, at least the ones he tells. "The risk was worth the reward. He was a cute virgin," the man remenses. "My weakness for cute faces will be my undoing.."

Minho looks with horror at both men. His own personal crush was a superior officer with a little chub padding well built muscly arms, height making Minho feel almost short, voice a deep growl yelling at the soldiers to keep up and do better. Whenever the officer told Minho he was doing good and leading by example, Minho pushed to be even better, as if he could have certainly climbed any mountain weighed down by heavy gear or swim the ocean from Korea to China for that superior officer if it meant he could be held in those strong, bulky arms for a moment without judgment. Filthy, dirty wet dreams had visited some nights, making those early morning rises worse than just having to get up early as a non-morning person. But he had never considered pursuing relations in the military. 

"You guys are crazy."

Jonghyun sounds too proudly cheeky. "You'd be surprised how many gay men are in the military at one time. Or the curious and missing a lady's touch. Way too much morning wood in those barracks." 

"I was skeptical about Jonghyun sunbae's experience because he's a known liar.." Kibum side-eyes Jonghyun, "But once I was there.. well, things happened."

Minho went to an alternate reality military, clearly. Maybe his division branch had been that different after all. 

"Maybe if you were a power bottom you would attract more attention and offers," Jonghyun gives advice. ".. I'll teach you, no charge."

Minho leans back in his seat, arms crossed and eyes rolled. "No thanks.." he's not interested in the structure of a power bottom or the ideal and expectations it carries. Minho's a simple, kind of vanilla, bottom into being softly dominated and doted on and eager to please a partner's desires. Maybe a little rougher now and then, with someone he is comfortable with. 

"He's so plain and boring.." Kibum sighs, taking out his phone to browse. "I see why it's hard to find a partner."

Minho's face falls, not amused at all. 

"He has a unique type.. it's difficult to find."

Kibum rests his chin in hand, looking bored, gaze still on his cellphone. "You mean his ideal type is basically himself but a top."

Jonghyun tries to stifle a laugh. "It is.. but I didn't want to say it."

Minho's frown depends. He's is in no mood to be mocked, so he leaves the table for the couch at the far end of the room, practically huffing, hands through his short hair he hopes grows back faster so he looks cuter and to attract potential tops. 

"You made him sulk," Jonghyun scolds Kibum. 

"When is he not? And why do you keep bothering him anyway, he's not into you."

"Or you.."

"Shut up. He's the worst type of bottom.."

"And you're a slutty, bossy bottom."

"Sunbae! You wanna die?!" 

Kibum grows grouchy while Jonghyun smiles, looking towards the door repeatedly, as if waiting for someone still. While there are other members, attendance is infrequent and many show up once and then withdraw. There's a lot of social factors that keep the pride club on a blacklist and on the brink of shutdown. 

As the club door swings open, Minho passing by it, he freezes, spooked by a familiar, and notable pretty, face. 

"Oh.. that sunbae is here too?" 

"Taeminnie…" Jonghyun coos, urging the new face to the club, in Minho's case due to recent absence, over to the table. 

"You know Minho?" Kibum asks, suddenly very curious. 

The young student closes the door behind himself, shrugging off a backpack and tucking lengthy hair behind an ear, a dangling earring suiting the young man's pretty face and slender figure. He doesn't really smile with his reply, side glancing at Minho looking at the youth dumbfounded. ".. not really. We just bumped into each other earlier."

Taemin's explanation is very simplified. 

Minho had been adjusting to being back at school, and in an environment that being outed wouldn't lead right to prison, that when a new face on campus, surely a freshman, kept popping up around him and glancing at him, he had become certain the young man was a bottom on the prowl. It was a sense, an uneasy one. 

When Taemin approached Minho in the hallway, after a demoralizing discussion with a professor urging Minho to keep his head in the game and study to improve his grades from before time off for conscription, a man who knows Minho's father no less, Minho had flushed with insensible panic. 

Taemin had stood nearly as tall as Minho, but with a face and figure right out of a boys' love comic drawn by female artists; an impressive sight to be honest. "Excuse me, sunbae.. could I talk to you about something?" 

Minho took a breath, hands on his unsightly hair that's still simply too short and probably made him look like a masculine top ready for booty action. "I'm not a pitcher! I'm a catcher, okay! I can't help you!" 

Taemin had looked bewildered to say the least, as if another language had just been thrown on him. 

Minho had hurried past the young man as other students filled the hallway. Minho decided he needed to go to the pride club room and see his friends, even if they don't understand him that well either. He had come to miss them a lot and they had become more of a security than he ever thought they could. 

In looking back, that moment had been quite embarrassing on his part. It is too soon to run into the young man again. Some days Minho has the worst luck. 

Jonghyun calls Taemin to sit beside him at the table, practically clinging to the younger man. Taemin carries a small smile, a bit bashful. He pets Jonghyun's head playfully. 

"Taemin, don't trust that sunbae so easily," Kibum warns of Jonghyun. 

"Why do you try to sabotage my happiness? Do you hate me, Kibum?" Jonghyun pouts, snuggling Taemin's shoulder. 

"Sunbae, who could hate you?" Kibum flashes a wide, fake smile. "This club has dwindled enough in members lately. Don't scare more away."

"I'm okay…" Taemin speaks up, voice a little small. 

"Taeminnie…" Jonghyun calls out, joyful and receiving more pats on the head. 

"Sunbae, you're his dog."

"It's great." Jonghyun exclaims. 

Taemin sinks into his seat, embarrassed where the conversation could lead. He changes the mood, "I was wanting to ask Minho sunbae something but now I forgot what it was…" he laughs. "But he's like you guys said. I was shocked he almost made a scene."

"He thought you a bottom hitting on him?" Kibum has a hardy laugh. 

"I.." Taemin's voice gets smaller, like he doesn't want to make anyone feel bad, especially a senior. "I guess so.."

[babysprouseisart]

sprousehart my ass. cole blocked zumpie but you still reblog from her?? go suck a dick you retarted cunt

Oh goodness... I think the ‘Get Lili away from your username and pfp you cunt’ part is yours too, so enjoy being blocked...

First of all, I don't know what you meant by using your very 'eloquent' - 'sprousehart my ass...', whether it was your resemblance to them or trying to appeal to your own ass with a plea about your suppressed feelings, either way it's ridiculously dumb. And in the first case, it is that neither Cole, nor Lili are your ass. It sounds so stupid and disrespectful, even the slightest bit of fat on your ass is not worthy to have an attitude to these two people, especially so respected. And if your anger is because you really are a true fan of them both and idealize them, especially Lili as I see it, then you mustn't even put those two words together, one of which is so nasty, and should show respect for your faves. And in the second case you come out as just rude, uncouth, abusive, uncultured, and I am sure that even many children younger than you will be smarter and more intelligent. What is even this, is this a set of random words or do I need to think about it? Your style of speech reminds me of the drunk bazaar dialect of the distant nineties of the end of the last century. Please, freaking learn grammar, writing and the logic. Second of all, you're clinging to some facts without knowing the details, for no reason, even though there's a lot of subtext, and if you have read everything that's written in her blog, and you'd look at all the evidence that proves her right in a certain place, and not grab what the brainless, crazy fanatics on Twitter are shouting, who are big hypocrites, and I hate it terribly, you would know why and how. I hope your little brain manages to process that people with a multi-million audience do not notice one person or even several percentages among the total number, because they simply do not care and do not have time to measure and filter them? Can you even imagine that Cole just decided to find her among 30-something million people and block her? It's completely absurd to drag this in as proof that he noticed it and blocked it out of great hatred, has been stalking her for some time in all the media and saw all that she said. And even if she is actually on his blacklist, it's only either because there was a clear glitch and in Instagram because of some often actions, or because he did it because 'someone' told him and probably asked him to do it, providing some information, which could be and, I am more than sure, was deliberately exaggerated. If you think otherwise and believe in all sorts of soap theories of your blind allies who spread hatred towards this person illegally, just because she is freely speaking about Lili or Cole on her untagged blog objectively and not hatefully, even if sometimes it may seem harsh. They clearly do not know the shit, are egoists who want to get only their own benefits and move others to their side, being hot fans of Lili for the most part and do not accept any slightest adequate, objective, neutral or slightly critical facts about her in addition to positive, thereby idealizing the person, which is such a hypocrite behavior and stimulated the double standart thing in relation to different famous or not-famous people and this is wrong on many levels. And I have no idea how to deal with the harming bugs like you and those who you support, because this is an unhealthy attitude, as no one has the right to send such waves of negativity to a person without properly understanding and, obviously, you need to reconsider your views on a lot of things, because unlike you, we - who may even lean more to Cole than to Lili and it does not matter if it has always been the case for a lot of people here or it has changed after some things in her attitude/behaviour changed, whether you accept it or not, it is a fact, and anyways even if you still want to argue with me, I don't give a fuck, I'll stand my ground - never ever specifically come to other blogs to throw so much shit on those who have a different idea, nor we did idolize any of them seriously without the basement, and do not argue so much about not accepting any of  the flaws, cause we soberly understand that any person has it and so do Cole and Lili. And, in conclusion, do you really think you, here, without knowing me personally and not being an authority for me, have a right to call me or the people I support names, tell me what to do on my blog, about the content, organization and the design of it and what/from who should or shouldn’t I reblog things? No way in the world, sad, pathetic, obsessed piece of shit. And of the two of us, you're the one who will suck cock just because you're a jerk who has nothing to do and can't do anything else. Oh, yeah, I forgot, I'm not a freak like you so excuse my sharp language, I'm just trying to talk to you fairly, in a way you understand... Bye!