#<- for reach im not necessarily drawing them

[literaila]

Need more gojo reader smoochfest

“remember this one?”

you’re a little bit dizzy, by now. you can’t remember how long, or when all of this started—but the end result isn’t necessarily unpleasant.

you hadn’t wanted to join nanami and shoko (and gojo whoever that is) for a drink—after a long day, three too many outfit changes, and a bed that you missed like an old childhood friend.

but your complaints are only partially heard, and satoru tends to drag you along wherever he goes, like a doll.

currently, though, you don’t really mind that.

gojo is not drunk, but you definitely are.

that’s why, mind you, when satoru spins you around again on the sticky linoleum floor, in this shitty bar that is definitely too small for dancing—you stumble a little.

but satoru’s hand is right there on your waist, keeping you steady and making sure that you don’t run into anyone that could be passing by.

usually he would let you trip and fall and spill someone’s drink down their shirt—because that would be hilarious—but you’re drunk, and he’s not and…

he enjoys taking care of you, when he gets the chance.

“no,” you say, giggling, when you’re spun back to him. “but i don’t think you should do it again.”

he’s grinning down at you. “why not?”

“because i might puke.”

satoru snorts, slowing his dancing down a little bit—because you really are swaying. “cute.”

“i know. aren’t you glad you married me?”

his eyes are covered but they’re sparkling (or you’re hallucinating). “very glad,” he says, with all the swagger that his seventeen year old self had.

that is to say, absolutely none.

but you lean in anyway, drunk and giddy and sweet, and brush your nose against his.

and satoru complies, like he always does, so his breath tickles your mouth and one of his hand finds its way to your jaw.

you kiss him once, just a slight peck, and pull back. you’ve always been a tease, but you usually reserve it for at home.

not now, though, when he’s so focused on only you, and so close that he could swallow you whole.

dancing always reminds you of satoru proposing, of letting him guide you wherever he wants to go in some sick metaphor about love and torture, the cure and the curse.

and, goddamnit, you’ve always been a sappy drunk. you’re going to regret this in the morning—especially because satoru has the upper hand here.

you told him you loved him for the first time because you were drunk.

and so, “i think im in love you,” you say now, again, just to get him to smile.

“then don’t tease me,” his tone is stern, a bit whiny, but you can see his dimples now.

“it’s so fun, though.”

“everything’s fun when you’re drunk.”

“tipsy.”

“okay, baby.”

“and everything’s fun with you.”

satoru’s mouth opens, his canines glittering in the dim light of the bar, and then he scoffs, “you—“ but he never finishes the sentence because his hand moves to the back of your head and he’s kissing you again.

you settle on your tip toes to reach him, sighing as he pulls you closer.

and you’re not moving now, nonetheless dancing, but who the hell cares?

satoru bites at your bottom lip, as punishment for being in love with him, and allows you to wrap your hands around his neck, drawing circles with your fingertips.

your body is so heavy and uneven, but it’s easy to kiss him like this. you’re not self conscious about the other people because satoru will keep them away from you both, and you’re not worried about breathing because why would you need to breathe when you could be kissing him?

still, eventually he pushes you back, setting his hands on your shoulders so you don’t fall. and he grins at you again, cheeky. “i think i love you, too.”

“oh, good. or this would be awkward.”

he kisses you again, a bit softer, but it’s not even a kiss, really.

because you’re both just laughing into each other, and everything seems so funny for a moment that you just let it happen. if you could rank the moments in time, kissing satoru like this would be very close to the top.

and someone probably shouts at you to get a room—but who cares anyway?

[everythingwasnormalhere]

if you send me color palettes I'll probably draw something with them :)

[signanothername]

WAAA not really an ask but just wanted to say your storytelling is a huge huge inspiration to me! I've always sorta struggled with that sorta thing and you're stuff gives me motivation to try!! Also I love how u draw killer it's so... him

ABBSHSHAAAAAA THANK YOU SOB

AND IM SO GLAD IT GIVES YOU MOTIVATION TO TRY!! Cause the funny thing is, storytelling is something that i also really struggle with, but not necessarily art wise, so like, when I make comics I can easily imagine what the art would be like and how it would flow, but once I reach the dialogue? I get stuck BIG time, it’s like I can imagine what i want, but I struggle with how to word it if that makes sense, words are just so hard to think of for me vhhchchc

So what i usually do is make the dialogue in two parts, first i’d I write everything I have in mind down, without thinking whether it makes sense or if it suits the character, and once i got everything written down, then i start actually refining it and thinking about the little details like whether this character would actually say that, or if it makes sense or if it’s better for the flow of the story

Sometimes, I know what I want the dialogue to be, but I struggle a lot with how i want the words to go, for example, the “little life update” comic

I struggled a LOT with the dialogue for that one, here are a few examples of dialogue I removed, changed, added and edited

I originally had Killer say “I get easily overwhelmed” before I changed it to “it gets overwhelming”

It’s such a small change but for me, it makes a very big difference, cause Killer usually feels detached from himself, so it just didn’t make sense to me that he would use “I” in regards to his own emotions, so I changed the dialogue so it would match Killer’s detachment and used “it” instead

Here I originally had the entire dialogue to be “monsters and Determination don’t mix well” followed by “ I mean my body’s already suffering from it”, but when I reread it, not only did it make the flow of the comic awkward and jumpy, but it also made me think “literally everyone in the Undertale fandom knows that I don’t need to reiterate it to them like they’re stupid”

Here I decided to add “but you already knew that” to the og dialogue, to further emphasize Nightmare’s manipulation of Killer

Here I removed an entire sentence saying “cause it’s not like you truly cared about my wellbeing” cause it felt a bit too spiteful even for Killer (who’s extremely spiteful bdhdhsh) and it gave the vibe Killer wanted Nightmare to care about him, which is not what I wanted to imply at all

And then the biggest change, the last few panels, the og dialogue and the one I used are completely different, and it’s mostly just me not knowing how to end the comic originally, but then when i reread it I realized that 1- Killer wouldn’t care about Nightmare’s feelings of loneliness when he barely understands his own emotions, 2- the dialogue felt extremely out of place with the rest of the comic, and 3- this comic wasn’t about Nightmare, it was about Killer and I needed to keep it that way

Anyway sorry for rambling about it but it genuinely makes me happy to see people loving my storytelling when i struggle a lot with it hahahaha

AND THANK YOU! Killer is my son and I just want to do him justice, glad to see so many people loving the way I write him EEEEEEEE

[clownsnake]

guys. Astarion wasn’t literally considered a child when he was 30. Among elves he was clearly seen as Of Age to do adult things like drink and live independently and fuck and pay taxes. its just that elves have a stupid extra concept of adulthood that doesn’t MEAN adulthood in a literal sense. has nothing to do with physical or brain development. not even necessarily emotional development, but it kind of is depending on how u interpret it, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

basically elves in the forgotten realms trance instead of sleep (we know this) and until around age 110, during their trances they “dream” of their past lives (I’ve only seen a few ppl who know this, but idk if they also knew it stops at a certain age). They then stop dreaming of their past lives naturally, and it’s generally considered kinda traumatic to go through bc well. you’re losing what has been a fundamental part of yourself for so long.

I interpret that as being like a “shared trauma maturation stage” where instead of elves brains literally becoming more adult, losing the guidance of their past lives feels like more of a final step towards independence to them. and adulthood is just the closest social experience to this stage of being “truly on your own”

around 30-40 they get a “first reflection”, which is when their dreams start having experiences from their current life. (Makes sense for Astarion having a dream about Cazador in origin runs that prompts the biting scene) And then the loss of past life memories at 100-110 is called the drawing of the veil.

Tl;dr Astarion was a young adult by elf standards stop infantilizing him PLEASE

Getting into headcanon land now, feel free to draw your own conclusions from here.

i imagine older elves kind of have a sense of being more “mature” than under-110 elves in the way tht people comparing their trauma tend to do. Like “u think ur so smart and worldly but you haven’t even been through half the shit I’ve been through.” PATRONIZING that’s the word I’m looking for, it’s patronizing. And since every elf goes through this, they just kind of assume that yeah, going through this trauma/emotional loss IS a big step towards being a full adult. so it’s like if the concept of adult had a Pokémon evolution that didn’t involve getting wrinkly and hair loss and going through menopause or erectyle dysfunction. Adult 1.5 steam update.

I have no clue if Astarion would have the drawing of the veil as an undead elf. The fact that he even has dreams shows that being revived as a vampire keeps certain bodily functions running, mainly anything relating to the brain and consciousness, but idk if it would keep him physically at 30 or let his brain change.

Although hold on, in the epilogue where you’re a mind flayer and considering eating Astarions brain, you get narration that’s like “ooohh his brain part that handles senses must be sooo wrinkly” which would only be caused by the shit he went through post-vampirification. Meaning his brain Would be able to change and “mature”. But that’s also just an assumption that mindflayer!tav/durge is making.

k I looked it up. The exact quote is “Astarion’s sweet brain may be a bit less wrinkled than the rest, but you hunger for its teasing cells. His parietal lobe - which controls his sense of touch - will be an aphrodisiac in your maw.” Hilarious, he canonically gets called smooth brain. Anyway if u kill him I don’t think you get to eat his brain, withers just banishes you asap lmao. So we don’t actually know if his parietal lobe changed over his un-life! I’d wager it did though, based on his “don’t touch me” selection line (and probably some other lines hinting towards over-sensitivity tht im forgetting). And change caused by external trauma vs change caused by aging is different anyway.

no conclusion wrt to if he’d reach the drawing of the veil or not. Does it even matter? He’s still the same adult man, who’s gone through far worse hardships than losing memories of his past lives. If he lost his past life dreams too, well then I don’t think that’d make much of a difference for him.

[skeletoninthemelonland]

hey starbs! I was wondering something, I know you are studying biolgy in uni and as someone who wants to be a biolgist but has been told im too "artistic and creative" to spend my life working with such precise things. I know you are also and artist, obviously, how has it been for you that you are a creative person, yet working with a course that is so strict to what it is (like not incudlign the different types of biolgist, like how you work there you rcant do what you want like you could with art or writing etc)

do you have any advice on how to reach for this goal or how youve felt just wanting to be a biolgist? im struggling alot with future stuff and it would be nice to hear from a fellow artist. (keep up the great work)

I'll be honest and say that studying Biology was a bit of a rushed decision (?)

I had no idea what I truly wanted to do while studying for the entrance exam. I knew I enjoyed different subjects and could work flexibly, but depending on the path I took, things would become either enjoyable or difficult for me. Biology has always been a subject I loved as a kid, but never something I was constantly interacting with growing up. With art that was different. I was definitely more passionate and skilled at art than at anything else.

I would have choosed to work with art, if only I had scored higher in the entrance exam and if only it was easy to make art for a living. Still, I don't regret choosing to study Biology.

It was a little discouraging in the beginning with how little I knew about the subject. Some students had far more knowledge than I ever had growing up. Some of them know exactly how a biology major will help them in the future. There were also people like me who had no idea what they wanted to do, but were willing to learn.

Turns out that Biology is one of the least precise things you could ever work with. Sciences in general is a subject that functions on uncertainty, and is what brings people forward to gather more information. My Plant Anatomy teacher often says "Mas é isso né gente, as plantas não lêem livros" (Which can be translated to "But yeah, plants don't read books"), because very often you'll find exceptions and unexplainable occurances everywhere (In this case, students are taught not to make assumptions about certain morphological characteristics that are present in plants... but not in all of them).

Artistic and creative are traits that are incredibly helpful and often necessary as skills. In a more literal approach, it might help you understand illustrated examples and "train your eye" for the tiniest details. Using your creativity as a tool to learn will immediately make things easier for you. I can't always draw and paint like I used to, but I can say that "motor proteins travelling along microtubules look like tiny people going for a walk :D" and never forget the information.

Being creative helps you make analogies with already existing information, so it's easier to retain it. I could also say "motor proteins travelling along microtubules remind me of Michael Afton walking down the sidewalk :D" and it's even easier to remember! Play with the information like it's a toy. If you can explain it to a 5 year old, that's because you learned.

But of course, there will always be classes that are more difficult than others. Mathematics will always be that one for me. You can't escape the challenging parts ^^'

Overall, it really depends on the person. It might work for me, and it might not work for you. The key is to explore and experiment on your own pace. Answers will come to you if you keep searching for them.

My best advice (in any major you're choosing), which will likely save your time, energy and sanity, is to find people like you. Not necessarily people who share similar interests as you, but people that you can count on and share your struggles — and they'll sometimes share their own. Befriending people often keeps you grounded and less anxious about how you'll perceive yourself and the future. It's a win-win interaction. Everyone is struggling, so we'll help each other out.

Remember it's okay to not know things right away. Remember it's okay that you're not as skilled as x person. Remember it's okay to be kind to yourself.

I could be saying all of this, but every day there's a huge effort to remind myself to take it slow. Reality oftens becomes skewed when we don't give ourselves a break.

I hope I helped you somehow, with the little to no experience I've had over the past few months. Wishing you and any other person reading this and who's in a similar situation good luck.

-----

One last advice.

Please, SLEEP!

SLEEP. SLEEP. SLEEP.

Don't even think about staying up late. SLEEP. Eat healthy whenever you can. Carry a banana with you, they have potassium — which is fucking great for your organism !!!

CARRY WATER. EVERYWHERE. TAKE 💧💧💧💦💦💦💦💧💧💦💦

How is anyone supposed to make good decisions while exhausted, grumpy, dehydrated, overwhelmed and hungry? THERE IS NO WAY. TREAT YOURSELF WITH CARE !!!! NOOOWWWW

[writtenicarus]

AFTG Headcanon Series [1] Andrew

hi everybody! a new series im doing which is basically complying loads of random headcanons on characters! this first part is Andrew!

part 1, part 2

Andrew's favourite colour is green. Not necessarily grass green, or even sage green, but a deep darker green. Kind of like the colour of leaves deep in the forest. The colour is calming, and he often finds himself leaning towards the colour in various different items - jumpers, mugs etc

He hates bananas. Don't ask me to expand, he just hates the texture and the peeling and the skin and the way they look bruised

Andrew has a really bad habit of picking at his cuticles and nails, it's so bad that he buys that disgusting tasting solution thing to put on his nails so he stops

When Neil becomes closer with Jean, Andrew inevitably finds himself speaking to him more as well. And when he finds out that Jean has gone through the same abuse he has, he finds himself silently relating and trusting Jean much more than before. It's both comforting and irritating.

On bad days, when they have the cats, Andrew is calmed by the light weight of Sir or King on his chest, and often strokes their fur when he can feel himself slipping away

He grows to like Katelyn. Not necessarily appreciate her or think about her when it is not 100% needed, but when he does find himself in her company, he respects her more than he ever expected to

When Nicky finally leaves for Germany permanently, Andrew Skype's him every Monday and Friday - it's hard with timezones but they make it work. Andrew will tell him how much he actually appreciates it at some point.

He has two tattoos. Medusa on his right arm, just below his shoulder, and a small '10' directly above his heart

He absolutely ADORES Chinese takeout. Literally anything from there he will just about inhale

Andrew has a habit of doodling on his hands!!!!! When he's bored in class he'll draw little random things whether it be patterns, keys or smoke. Sometimes, shamefully even, a little fox

Andrew doesn't immediately become 'fixed' when he and Neil start their relationship and nor does his recovery speed up. But the one time during his stay at Palmetto he nearly cries, is when Cass tries to approach him after his and Aaron's trial and Bee is the one to stand in her way

There are very few times Andrew is okay with being touched by someone who isn't Neil. However, Andrew can admit (at least, to himself) that occasionally when he does need it, he goes to Nicky for hugs

He loves to read!! But he has to use reading glasses. Neil squeals every time he puts them on

ANDREW. BLUSHES. EASILY.

Andrew loves crystals. It's not that he believes in anything different types are said to help with or do, but he likes reaching into his pocket and feeling their smooth weight

He also likes the way they look on bracelets and has a rose quartz one <3

Andrew in pink I'm sorry but like a pink oversized sweater that was originally Neil's? Crying.

I know it's set in a time period where it doesn't exist yet, but can you imagine Andrew with unlimited access to Disney+ ? He would adore it

Instant noodle lover

Personally I think he would hate fizzy drinks? Like any type of soda. EW no. Maybe this me projecting a little

HIS FAVOURITE FRUIT IS CHERRIES HE COULD EAT A WHOLE BOX AT A TIME

Allergic to peanuts, as is Aaron ofc

When Andrew experiences his first year pro, he also experiences his first year alone in a while. No family around to annoy and protect, no Neil to talk to. It was sad, and for a while he found himself extremely lonely. But eventually, he learns to express these feelings and Neil helps as much as he can

Never gets over his fear of flying

He smiles. Eventually.

[moonsaver]

Introductory post.

hello, please call me moon, or moonsaver.

I now have a blog on AO3 – my user is Moonsaving.

As my name suggests, I like the moon. But to be honest, I like the sun more, which is why my blog is more gold and black themed, haha.

I use she/her pronouns, and am cis-female. I am an INFP, 4w5 and phlegmatic. My favorite food is ice cream. My favorite color is payne's grey. I write, but also sometimes draw. I tend to like reading about evolutionary species of humans. And also any character analysis. My favorite animal is a Manta-ray. My favorite artist is Mitski. I tend to like characters that are INTJ or ISTJ. Of course, some exceptions apply.

my favorite characters :

- genshin - dainsleif, neuvillette, zhongli, alhaitham, thoma, ningguang, candace, dehya

- honkai - stelle, welt, jing yuan, sunday, dr ratio

Fandoms i write for, so far:

- Genshin Impact [excluding the natlan characters]

- Honkai Star Rail

- [Maybe] Twisted Wonderland

Trigger/Content warnings + other cautions;

None of the characters i write for, are owned by me and neither do i claim any ownership over them. All of my works are simply fiction.

Life should not imitate art – I do not condone the acts of violence, stalking, or any toxic behaviors involved in my writing in real life. It is all completely fiction. If you or someone you know exhibits similar behaviors, do not enable it and reach out for help. It is not normal outside of fiction.

On that note – I mainly write yanderes. Writing that contain yanderes may include stalking, violence, suggested noncon or dubcon, etc.. please be mindful while scrolling through my blog. Feel free to block me if my works disturb you.

Do not repost my writing anywhere without my permission. The characters and the setting does not belong to me, but the fanfiction does. Please do not post these works anywhere, nor use them as data to feed AI. If you might recognize my writing somewhere, please inform me immediately.

Rules for requesting

No nsfw. Suggestive is fine.

Yandere x reader is welcomed here.

only character x reader. Unfortunately, I am not interested in character x character.

child reader and child characters can only have platonic requests. No yandere can be requested for these.

Incest, step-cest and age gaps are not allowed here. I know, what a surprise Im picky about it, right? But I have my limits even while writing yandere stuff.

I mainly write gender neutral and fem reader. Please specify, or i may assume it myself.

I will write how i please if not specified. Hcs, scenarios, drabbles, imagines.. anything is welcome.

On that note, i do not necessarily do matchups. Im just not good at that. I can not tell you which character would have what preferences on will, unless i already have a good grasp of the character and know the context specifically. I can not offer opinions on what a character might like or dislike in a person, what they might see platonically or romantically in a person. I simply write as I feel.

i take time. Im just lazy.

feel free to send prompts, although i may not be able to implement it well.

i will automatically assume it is romantic if not specified between platonic or romantic request.

[bandaged-writer]

hii, can i request some chuuya smuts? i just turned 20 today so idk, might need something to lighten up the mood since im having a bad day :')

(eng is not my first language, sorry for the grammar mistakes)

first of all, happy birthday, dear nonnie! 💜 i hope your day will improve as time goes on and that you'll end up having a nice birthday!

pairing. chuuya x f! reader

words. 310

warnings. unprotected sex, explicit content, language, not proof-read

Your hands were pinned above your head, kept in place by Chuuya's warm palm. Chapped lips ghosted across the apple of your cheeks while a groan tickled the shell of your ear. Mewls and moans spilled from your reddish lips while Chuuya bullied his cock into your gummy walls that sucked him right him.

"Fuck, doll, you're so tight," he cussed and rested his forehead on yours. Chuuya pulled his hips back and pressed them flush to the plush of your thighs with each thrust. A smirk graced his lips when a rosy blush reached your cheeks when skin slapped against skin.

You thew your head back into the pillows, arched your back off the mattress and pressed your tits against Chuuya's bare chest. "D-don't say such thingsㅡ Ah, Chuuya! Ah, damnit!"

You could hardly think. The fat head of his cock kissed your sweet spot just right, spread your cunt open and filled you up just right. After an exhausting birthday, you needed Chuuya inside you; not necessarily because he was a tease, but for the comfort his love showered you in.

Your thighs shook around Chuuya's hips, tears threaten to spill from your eyes when his skilled fingers draw circles into your swollen clit. Immediately, you squirmed and attempted to close your thighs, but it was no use.

"Shh, just enjoy yourself tonight. It's all for you, doll," he rasped, hugged your waist and pistoled his hips into you over and over again until all you could coherently say was his name and an occasional sob.

Chuuya could tell you were about to come; your ragged breathing, the way your pussy is fluttering around him and the high pitch of your moans. "Cum for me," he encouraged you and pressed a kiss to the corner of your lips.

"Cum for me and I promise I'll fuck you dumber."

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

HIII I KNOW. A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ANNIHILATION. PERIPHERALLY. ive seen like part of it but i do NOT remember much. except that its one of the prettiest movies ive ever seen. that being said im so eyes emoji abt ur au..... r there any specific scenes frm the movie ur thinking about?? how would the character dynamics differ from either canon?? etc etc etc!!!

GOD I FUCKING LOOOOOVE ANNIHILATION. ONE OF MY TOP 5 FAVORITE MOVIES OF ALL TIME EVER. yes yes yes yes yes OK. so this is. all encompassing crossover jrwi au which means I'm pulling characters from different campaigns. which. usually im not a huge fan of but i think i pulled it off rlly well in a limited sense here bc i have very specific reasoning behind why i put each character where. u will know at least two of them and they WILL cause you psychic damage so trust me when i say the other ones will too. putting this under a cut bc im gonna ramble

BASICALLYYYYY it's gonna follow the plot of the movie pretty closely just with slightly altered character dynamics + each of their reasons for going into the shimmer. so each person on the Current Team has lost someone on a previous expedition, and basically all of them are trying to find answers for what happened to their loved ones.

im gonna talk mainly about the ones you know because youll understand where I'm coming from the best with them but just know I am OBSESSED w the roles I have put gillion and chip in here. god I miss riptide every day .

DAKOTA COLE AS ANYA. Anya is the retired paramedic !! she's the one that. hold everything. gets killed by the fucked up bear. smile. that was just a fun little coincidence for me . ORIGINALLY I was dead set on having the pd representative be william bc im biased and I love him but after rewatching the movie I just think dakota fits in anyas place so perfectly. she's the most outgoing of the group, she's the one that initially invites Lena to join their team (also side note there is a pre-existing dynamic between dakota and chip because they've had MULTIPLE interactions in various what if crossover episodes and their dynamic is one of my favorite things ever). she's also the most aggressive. she's the first one to snap into action mode after finding the body in the pool, she's the one to take josie away from it and has a very protective stance over josie for the rest of the time after that (this is going to be relevant i am gonna talk about josie next) . once the group starts arguing about whether they want to continue further into the shimmer, anya shifts into a VERY black and white mentality, pinning ventress as The Bad Guy immediately for wanting to continue. and then when Lena shows some hesitancy over what she wants to do, anya snaps into a "youre either with me or against me" mindset. she also has this growing sense of paranoia ever since they find the tape of what appears to be the previous crew killing each other, and after she learns Lena is lying to them about her connection with Kane she goes way overboard with tying them to chairs and threatening to kill them. while i don't think dakota would necessarily go that far I DID say this to jonesy when we were rewatching the movie together so. bfu connecting two dots meme

anyway i think dakota is in the shimmer looking for william AND vyncent. parallels to the "dakota leaves for 10 months without telling them" which is why the three of them would be separated in the first place. william somehow finds out about the southern reach and his draw toward a mystery is what causes him to join the first expedition. vyncent goes with him because he can sense it's dangerous (and basically a suicide mission) and doesn't want william to go alone. I have. ideas. for what happens to them in the shimmer but they are vague at best right now and even then. dakota never finds out what happens to them before he's killed by the bear. the bear uses their voices to draw him out btw. smile. he dies protecting thr rest of the group even immediately after his paranoid breakdown.

OK THAT GOT LONG. OOPS. ONTO THE SECOND ONE

SHILO AS JOSIE. ohhhhh josie radek one of my favorite characters in media of all time. God I love her so much. anyway she's the only one of the current expedition with no previous combat training, so she's often seen by the rest of them as someone who needs to be protected. if I'm remembering correctly she's also the youngest. (in this. au. dakota would be older than shilo. feels better in my mind. none of them would be Kids they'd all be adults at this point but I'd put shilo in early 20s and dakota maybe in mid 20s. so . still young.) shilo is in the shimmer looking for his twin brother who went missing. somehow he was able to track down the southern reach and find out emizel was part of a previous expedition, and desperately wants to get him back. he's the one with the LEAST amount of knowledge going into the shimmer. he doesn't realize it's a suicide mission. he just wants his brother back. anyway when they get to the first outpost they find the remnants of the first team's base of operations, with names on a guard patrol rotation and leftover weapons and. a video camera. with a tape in a plastic bag labeled "for those who follow". josie is the one holding the camera when they watch it. the tape shows members of the previous party in the abandoned pool, one guy tied to a chair while the others cut open his abdomen to show his intestines moving around like snakes or worms. in the movie, the guy who cuts him open is Kane, Lena's husband. the rest of the party doesn't know her connection to kane, and she knows now if she tells them they won't trust her (and is proven correct by this when anya eventually finds out her connection) ANYWAY I'm going off track. sorry this is my favorite scene in the whole movie I get distracted. ANYWAY so when they see this, josie is the most immediately horrified by it because she's the only one who hasn't seen anything as gruesome as that before. for shilo. well. he gets to see the one being cut open is emizel. and then later when they get to the pool and find the body still there (again. josie is the one to find this. she's also the one who reaches down into the old dirty water and accidentally picks up the knife. which was still left in the same place they saw it be dropped in the tape) corpse plastered to the wall by all kinds of multicolored fungus and lichen, I think shilo doesn't immediately break down, he doesn't really. process it right away. I mean it's completely unrecognizable. it's not until he accidentally picks up the knife that it all clicks into place in his mind and he realizes "that thing right there used to be my fucking brother" and completely shuts down. runs out of the complex, dakota has to chase him down because they all know its dangerous to go anywhere alone, etc. after this he loses any sense of purpose, the only reason he came into the shimmer in the first place was to get emizel back and now seeing what happened I think he just gets. hopeless. which is the beginning of the end for him . i haven't decided if his exact death is the same as josies but i want it to be peaceful in the same sort of way. "imagine dying frightened and in pain and having that be the only part of you which survives... i wouldnt like that at all" "ventress wants to face it.. you want to fight it... im not sure i want either of those things...." josie radek i am in love with you. anyway. annihilation pool scene for you because I love this image more than anything

[cosmikazie]

100 FOLLOWER ART REQUEST THREAD

hello everyone! last night i reached 100 followers. yipee!!!!!

no, seriously, i am really happy about that. thank you all.

as part of the celebration, im hosting an ART REQUEST THREAD right here, right now.

i'll close it when i think i've had enough requests, and then i'll work through them. i can't guarantee i'll get to all of them, but i will try. as such, i'm going to ask for only one request per person. otherwise i will go fuckin' crazy okay?

like last time, i would prefer if they were rain-world related drawings, but that doesn't necessarily have to be the case. i will accept oc stuff as long as you send a ref or something in reblogs. and YES they can be rain world ocs. of course they can be. i eat that shit up yum yum

alright. let's see how this goes. thanks y'all! remember to reblog with your request!

[seeingivy]

bsfs older brother sukuna asks!

OUCH like you're literally crazy thank you so much. random side tangent that no one asked about but basically my mom has a masters in english literature and likes to read/write a lot (which is where i think i get that from) but basically we were talking about books that are meant to me read as books or other writing that is more like cinematic? if that makes sense.

like some people on here write fic that's really prose based and beautifully written. like truly I think the talent lies in how they choose to string the words together that always leaves me in awe. another irl author that does this a lot is celeste ng (ronnie book rec! everything I never told you is one of my favorite books ever)

but then some books are very very plot driven and kind of have plot as the main thing that kind of draws me in. I definitely think i'm this type of writer more where I know that my talent isn't necessarily in how I string the words together (not that I think it's bad, I just think that the way I build something up and make a plot out of something is kind of where I have the most fun and think I do the best in terms of the stuff I put out) an irl book that does this is the seven husbands of evelyn hugo - where it's very jam packed and driven by the actual events of the book as opposed to the actual wording and sentence structure of how they're written.

anyway this ask just validated what I was thinkiNG LOL bc I do think I tend to write some thats more like sucker punch yolo as opposed to really working on writing that's more prose like (and I admire people who can do that because I literallly fumble with normal words, like @/theragethatisdesire and @/neptuneblue are SOOO skilled at this that it always leaves me speechless. anyways.)

thank you again pookie 💌

literally that's emotional whiplash. I reread the entire thing myself (which is crazy, because I rarely reread my own works after writing them, but I do find myself reaching to read this one sometimes) and LORD like i actually kind of forgot the stuff in the beginning so PROPS TO YOU and it's so sweet that you felt all the feels that were going on that makes my heart so so warm.

heavy on the poor weird child me. mind you that both of these characters internal monologue/and somewhat of their backstory is based on me in real life and heavy on loving little weird child you and knowing that they're still in you somewhere fighting in whatever way they can (for me its fanfic....which is very on brand when I think about it)

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!! 💌 idk where that all came from in three days but it did and im actually very very proud of it so it makes me so so happy that you enjoyed it!

anyways! idk I hope to write some more soon but someone in my family is having a five wedding events week business going on so i'm like out of capacity all weekend (and already overstimulated from so much interaction)

[gaygodlywriting]

——————————————————————————————

«not-so picasso» l.minho

——————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————

«genre: fluff + slight angst?

«pairing: lee minho x m! reader (M as in MALE, fem readers DNI)

«warnings: self doubt??, mild swearing

«relationship status: lovers

«summary/prompt: A draws B super well, but B draws A “poorly” but A still loves it just as much.

«word count: 2108

«type: full fic

«writer: maddox

«a/n: i think i managed to self insert a bit i’m sorry.. (not proofread and there has been many late night add ons which means many late night mistakes)

«requests: open (pls request im begging)

«masterlist

——————————————————————————————

minho was someone you admired dearly. he was so pretty, he is so perfect and you couldn’t help but allow your eyes to wander his features on a daily basis. his structure, his body type, his smile, his emotions, all of it was engraved into your head at some point. From the big things to the little things: the way his mouth curved so beautifully, just like his mother, when he smiles. the small scar on his stomach that he doesn’t like showing, the stars in his eyes when he has his cats with him.

his beautiful laugh that makes you smile each and every time. his need to be noisy and loud brings comfort to you in the weirdest ways. his cute obsession with his fur babies. his work ethic, his dancing skills, his pretty singing. the way he loves his members so much, the way he shows love to everyone he knows in his own way. his teasing, oh you adore his teasing. it’s so cute to you. sketching was a way you could appreciate him more.

so that’s what you did, you have a sketchbook dedicated to the lee minho. drawings of different emotions, feelings. some emotions that he might not like the best: sadness, anger, guilt, etc. all drawn in a sketchbook, you don’t see any emotion in a negative way. emotions are such a baffling thing to you, but it’s also so artistic to feel things.

you want all his emotions on your paper, you want to understand them, feel them. art was something that came naturally to you, you most definitely got better overtime but it wasn’t necessarily hard. art was a way of expression for you, and also a way of figuring out people. if that makes sense; using art to study feelings was your way of learning and developing an understanding for those emotions.

emotions are so complex, there's no true understanding for them. but art somehow just makes it seem like those emotions are something more than just feelings. it turns them into what they deserve to be recognized for, beauty. to feel is so wonderful, though it may not always seem that way.

you were at your desk in the corner of the room you shared with your partner, it was around 19:34. the natural light that had been previously flowing in through the window was no longer as bright. it had started to dim and you couldn’t see the marks you were making on your paper anymore. so you reached over to the desk light and flipped the switch on at the base of the lamp.

it wasn’t positioned to your liking so you swiftly adjusted it so you could see your work. you glanced up to the dimmed computer screen in front of you to see what song was about to play. it was the theme song from one of your favorite bl dramas, tharntype.

just as you were about to return to your work a little furry creature jumped in your lap. it was one of three of your boyfriend’s kids, soonie, he had wiggled his way under the desk and climbed onto your lap. he sat right on your thighs and had laid his paws and head on your forearm. you couldn’t tell if you were frustrated or in awe at the sight. he started purring like a motorboat in your lap, so you stopped to pet him for a bit before attempting to draw with one arm.

drawing brought you happiness, for the most part. this piece was stressing you out, soonie noticed too. pieces, such as this one, tend to stress you out as you just want it to look perfect but something always seems off. you just wanted it to be perfect, the idea in your head had been. but your execution hasn’t been very much to your liking. it was so frustrating, beyond imaginable.

you kept playing around with it, and many crumpled pieces of paper on the floor later, you couldn’t seem to figure it out. you let out a frustrated groan, then a click sound was made and the door was swung open. minho had finally arrived home.

“minho.” you spoke extending the ‘o’ sound with a little whine to your voice. he looked around and let out a small sigh at the mess. he walked over to you and pulled you off the chair that was giving you a backache after so long. he wrapped his arms around your neck giving you access to slither your arms around his waist. you slightly pulled him closer and buried your head in his neck.

“troubles?” he spoke softly, you nodded your head into his shoulder and tried to sink deeper into the hug. he smiled at his boyfriends’ actions and hugged you tighter. you guys stood like that for a few minutes in silence, “can i see it?”

you pulled away and turned around grabbed the best one off the table. you hesitantly gave him the sheet of paper. he took it out of your hand and examined the detailed sketch. you couldn’t read his face at that moment, `does he like it?`, thoughts coursed through your head. you kept a straight face even though you were nervous, `was it really that bad? why isn’t he saying anything?`.

why is it so damn hard to just feel proud of yourself? you just want it to be relieving, not stressful. when it came to art, you were very naturally talented and had a ton of practice. but as a kid, you got harsh criticism from your family for your art, you wanted nothing more for them to feel proud of you. somehow, even though you knew your boyfriend loved your creations, you couldn’t help but think he was lying to you or think he didn’t mean anything he said.

for whatever reason seconds felt like hours, you started to feel yourself tear up at the thought of someone not liking your art again. especially when that certain ‘someone’ was the love of your life. part of you knew he would love it and he would never lie to you, but that part had succumbed to the part that doubted him. that part of you brought you so much guilt, how could you think your boyfriend was lying to you when he’s done nothing but love you with his everything.

your head dropped as you subconsciously stared holes into the floor, minho had noticed something was off. he knew exactly what it was too. he set the piece of paper back on the table and put his hand to your cheek trying to lift your head to look at him.

“hey, y/n baby, what’s going through your head?” he spoke, trying to get you to look him in the eye but you refused. you slightly shook your head in response, you didn’t want to admit to him what you were thinking. “i can’t help you if you don’t talk to me.” he said a little stern, but in an endearing way. he needed communication, although he had a sense he couldn’t help you with just an urge.

“do you..” you trailed off slightly, rethinking the decision to speak. he stared at you, waiting for you to finish, he raises his eyebrows slightly to indicate that you can continue when your ready. you paused and took a small deep breath. “do you hate it? the drawing i mean.”

It was silent for a second before lino lost his cool, he burst out laughing at you. you looked straight at him, almost stunned.

“what the fuck minho” you said with a whine undertone, you knew why he was laughing so you tried to keep your cool. but ultimately you failed and laughed with him. “don’t laugh at me, i have very valid thoughts.” you rolled your eyes at him, trying to joke around getting yourself in a better mood.

“yeah y/n, i hate it so much.” he extended the ‘so’ and rolled his eyes at you. you added to the theatrics by gasping loudly and gripping your chest falling back onto the bed. you guys laughed for a minute before minho looked you dead in the eye and spoke once more, “y/n, how could i hate it? have you seen the way i draw?”

“yeah of course i have, what does that have to do with anything.” you looked at him with confusion.

“one minute.” he quickly pushed himself off you, and crawled off the bed to the art desk. he sat down and opened your sketchbook dedicated to him. he found the newest unused page and gripped the pencil hurriedly sketching something in the book.

“babe, what are you doing?” you went to get up but he cut you off,

“don’t, i’ll show you in a minute,” he said turning towards you, once was finished talking, and you had sat back down and gotten comfy, he turned back around.

a few minutes went by with only the sound of the led scraping against paper in the background. “okay, i’m finished.” he grabbed both the sketchbook and the drawing you showed him a little bit ago. He crawled back on the bed, “look alright, this is yours.” he handed you your drawing letting you soak it in for a minute.

“okay, and?” you spoke looking up and him. he opened the sketchbook and maneuvered it so it was facing you. he looked down and pointed to his drawing,

“this is mine, that’s the best i can do.” he looked up at you, as you examined his drawing. “clearly theres a difference. last time i checked i wasn’t dating someone who was that incompetent.” he jokingly said, but with seriousness laced throughout the sentence.

“hey, i’m not that stupid.” you spoke defensively, he laughed slightly.

“okay if you say so,” he said with a smirk plastered on his lips, “if you don’t like this drawing so much, i’m stealing it.”

“it’s not even finished though.” you looked at the drawing once more.

he rolled his eyes, “you act like i care, i want it just how it is now.” you went to grab it but he swiped it first. “mine. you can have this one,” he handed you the sketchbook.

it was a really shitty, but cute, attempt at drawing you with his name signed in the corner. you loved it though, and you were going to keep it.

he made his signature loud ‘ahh’ noise, “it was a long day and drawing wore me out, can’t we just watch a movie with soonie, doongie, and dori now?” he whined at you. you quickly jumped off the bed and picked minho up swinging his legs around your waist. you pushed open the bedroom door and walked to the livingroom where you set minho down. you quickly scavenged around for the kids, and food because food was necessary. once you collected your children and some food you headed back to your lover who impatiently sat on the couch with a movie pulled up. the movie was ‘wish you’, the first bl drama that minho had ever watched. ever since lino had watched it, he continuously watches it with you and you comply because how could you not?

you set his babies down on his lap, then set the food on the coffee table just in front of the couch. you quickly climbed up on the couch and placed yourself right behind minho, your chest compressed against his back and your arms locked around his waist. he got comfy and then pressed play on the tv remote, the ‘emotion studio’ intro began to play.

you were a little ways into the movie before you got bored and started kissing minho all over his shoulders, neck, and head. pretty much wherever you could reach, he started squirming around.

“cut it out, pay attention to the movie” he whined trying not to laugh. you got one more kiss in just on the middle of his forehead, when he spoke he turned to look at you so you took your chance. it was a bit longer, you just wanted to the last one to be a good one.

“okay, okay fine.” you said getting comfy again. you felt so loved and comfortable when you shared these moments with your partner. you never wanted them to end. your breath slowed, and you began falling into a comfortable rest with the only person you could ever want to spend the rest of your life with (and of course, his three loveable kids).

[laithraihan]

I'm the anon who sent you the long message that apparently came off "pompous & infantilizing" and more to your followers.

I find it interesting that that message sparked such a flood of defenders, when I did not send it in bad faith at all. From your answer it seems I'm lacking context so sorry if I took some of your statements the wrong way, but nonetheless I just found the parental love addition strange and reacted to that, that was all there was to it. I clearly stated (three times) I'm not taking any issue with your headcanons.

By saying they are far removed from canon I did not mean to say they are "too unrealistic" or something is wrong with that, I literally said the opposite. I meant just that, that factually, this will not be a common interpretation for someone who is familiar with the source material but not your blog. This is not a statement that I made with any judgemental value and I thought I made that very clear but apparently not.

So I'm sorry for the additional ask.

Have a nice day.

Thank you for the response.

I was fully aware you said there was no issue with what I drew, but the way you wrote everything else sort of negated that statement. At least that's how me and many other people saw it.

If someone finds what I drew strange or confusing then they could always just... block me or ask me about it (and btw I expected people to be confused, otherwise I wouldnt have labeled it "non-coupling" as soon I posted it lol)

Someone did ask me about it, and you seem to have already seen that response, yet you still felt the need to send another message basically implying that an explanation wasn't enough (turns out it actually wasnt enough because people said I was lying and in denial) and that my explanation was weird too? Which is whatever I already ended up clarifying that, English is not my first language and I type things with the help of a translator (I wish people could actually keep this in mind. I only type in English because it'll reach a wider audience and it's the language most of my followers know. Often I have to google words people tell me online, or I ask my friends fluent in English to explain things for me)

You can say "that's not what I intended" but that's how it came across... you wrote a lot of nice words while also saying it was understandable that people were ganging up on me over a drawing, it seemed patronizing.

That's why me and others took offense to it, but I think it's difficult to tell tone through text so I don't want to keep nitpicking this any further. If you say you had no ill intent then I believe you.

The following will just be me adding more context and not necessarily aimed at you: Again I understand the lack of context of my account can make people confused about my art, Ive made that clear many times.

The art I made where I said "if your parents didnt love you then it's obvious" was a direct response to people who were mocking me specifically for tagging the art as "non-coupling" because they didnt believe me. They got the context and decided I was trying to hide a fetish because a kiss on the cheek was "obviously shippy". They proceeded to compare this to drawing NSFW of Mob and Reigen by labelling it "non-ship" as if it was comparable to tucking a child into bed, that's what upset me. I did absolutely nothing to these people, I dont know them, if they said this privately I wouldnt care but it was public, and they also targeted another friend of mine for no reason.

All Im gonna say is that my drawing shouldnt have caused this much controversy in the first place. I labeled it "non-coupling" as soon as I posted it, which should've been enough honestly. It's not like I posted porn or anything like that, I got the idea from something Ive experienced in my family as a teenager and I could easily google stock images of the exact same scenario to use as reference, like I really didnt think it was that bad.

Anyways I think I've explained myself many times already. Im not gonna be hostile and say to people "roh t9awed dont ever send me anything else related to this" but just.. check if Ive already answered your question so that it doesnt end up being repetitive. If you have a question about this that I havent answered yet, then feel free to ask.

[ro-botany]

What was Freddie's reaction to finding out Robin and Grima was the same? Did he feel he was paid enough for everything? How much did he want to say, "I told you so" to Chrom?

(Hi, this is Robot from the future after writing the post. This is a long and unorganized stream of conscious disaster. Please bear with me. I promise I have an actual point to make lol.)

---

In my mind that was a pretty complicated moment for Frederick. In part because the reveal of Robin's nature happens very late in the story, long after Frederick has become friends with Robin and come to trust them as a commander... and in part because depending on which shipping AU I'm in, Robin is likely to be Chrom's partner in marriage, by that point.

Frederick is responsible for the safety of Chrom and Lissa. Whoever those two marry becomes a part of Ylisse's royal family, and thus, Frederick's duty to safeguard the royalty extends to them. If Robin is exalt-consort of the realm, then Frederick is going to protect them. Perhaps not as fervently as he does Chrom and Lissa, given that he hasn't known them since childhood, but it's Frederick, so you know he's putting his full effort into it. The man does nothing by halves.

What happens if the exalt-consort of Ylisse is also the fell dragon? What do you do, what do you even think, when your dear friend's partner, your own close friend, the commander you've trusted your life with for years, the royal you're duty-bound to guard the life and health of... is bringer of the apocalypse?

Oh, he's certainly vindicated in his initial mistrust of Robin, but it's a bitter victory.

And it's made yet more bitter by the fact that Robin was as unaware of it as the rest of them, and as horrified. It wasn't even a betrayal on their part; he can't even direct his anger their way.

I think that at first, and similarly to Chrom, Frederick probably took it at face value that Robin and Grima must be separate entities. From the way Validar talks about it, from the ravine of difference between the Robin he knows and the monstrous fell dragon, it doesn't make sense for them to be the same.

But by the time the Shepherds reach Naga, I think he's clued in to the fact that Grima and Robin are the same person on different paths. He's seen Robin's work firsthand, worked under them for years. He remembers how they defeated the Valmese fleet. He's seeing how they're changing as a person as the battle with their other self draws nearer. He heard Robin exclaim that they are the fell dragon -- not its vessel, but it in its entirety -- and heard the other Robin confirm that. He's the one who calls out the concept of defeating Grima with his own power as suicide, too.

Whenever I think about this I keep coming back to Frederick's pyromanic tendencies, and the fact that he has them so effectively controlled that he can be trusted to set up all the campfires for the Shepherds early in the mornings. Clearly being the reincarnation of the fell dragon god Grima is at a COMPLETELY different scale of severity from his issues... But I think he can relate, to some degree, to having some inherent destructiveness in you, inextricable from you, and how scary it is to face the severe and immediate risk that you may hurt or even kill people you care about, and not necessarily be able to control those terrible actions. He's come to terms with and leashed his demons. But he can also see the world where he failed to.

---

...I guess to answer your first question, about what Fred's reaction would be... Ime Frederick's in a better position than most of the cast to understand the conflict of self Robin is dealing with, and he has a lot of reasons to worry about their fate and to work towards reaching that understanding of them. The initial shock might lead to him trying to soften the reality to preserve his opinion of his friend, but I think he would come around to genuine understanding of their nature faster than many. And that he would ultimately want them to get out of this alive. The reveal of this aspect of their nature doesn't change the fact that they've fought long and hard for what's right.

He would absolutely think "i told you so", but with the amount of trauma the whole plot point deals to the gang, and especially to Chrom, I don't think he would ever seriously consider saying it. Just silently soak in the irony. Stare into the camera like he's on the office.

He absolutely does not get paid enough for this and he knows it. Obviously he cares too much to sit any of this out but gods above, when he signed up to be a knight he didn't think he would be fighting a whole ass deity by the time he was 30.

[nothorses]

in regards to your post abt the word queer, if youre willing, whats your opinion on the idea that queer and lgbt+ is not inherently the same? like for me, i consider them different bc to me being queer is not just an identity its also a choice, an ideology, a stance, a movement.

Its choosing to say "no fuck you we're here, we're queer", its choosing to be inclusive, its choosing to actually be in community and help other queers, its choosing to be true to yourself, etc. So when I say 'the queer community' Im usually not referring to the 'queer is a slur' ppl bc I dont consider myself in community with them.

But after reading your post im wondering if i should reconsider my stance on this, so if you have any insight or thoughts abt it id love to hear them! Thank you :)

I mean, I think the word has a lot of uses and meanings, and that's certainly one of them.

But it's contextual, right? When I take a "queer studies" class, I'm not taking a class in the intracommunity movement of radically inclusive queerness- I'm taking a class about the history of the whole community, and the theory our existence necessitates.

I don't really want this to be relabled "lgbt studies" or whatever. I don't want the academic community to dance around it; the overarching department that contains the "sexuality and queer studies" certificate program at my school (which itself does not mention queerness or even gender in any fucking description) is called "gender, women, and sexuality studies". And guess what! It too does not mention trans people in anything except class names/descriptions for explicitly and exclusively trans-centric classes.

Point being that this "dancing around it"-type attitude, even in my extremely queer-inclusive area and school, more than anything just leads to the exclusion and de-prioritization of certain queer people.

I don't want them to keep doing that. And I don't think drawing lines between the Real Queers and the Assimilationist LGBTs is worth that, or even remotely helpful in the first place.

You don't have to exclusively be in community with the people who already agree with you; if anything, that's kind of what's leading to a lot of these problems in the first place. You should obviously be able to engage with people on your own terms too, and you shouldn't necessarily try to reach people who obviously won't be reached by you.

But like, "they're not REALLY part of my community" doesn't lead to much except further division in the wider community. At a certain point, you're just dismissing any opportunities and obligations you have to improve your community in the first place.

And do we really want them to be saying that us dirty queers aren't a part of their pure LGBT (or LGB) community? Should we promote the idea of separate "Queer" and "LGBT" communities, which do not intersect and which are only and exclusively referred by one word or the other? Should we have separate "queer studies" and "LGBT studies", separate research, studies and statistics, separate nonprofit organizations and movements and Pride events?

There are, and always will be, ideological divisions and movements within our community. There will always be sub-communities, chosen and otherwise, within layers and layers of other sub-communities.

But we need to be able to distinguish between that, and the words we use to refer to the whole community together- even the people who try not to be a part of it, and even the people who try to force others out. Even the lesbian separatists and the truscum and the "Drop the T" people; they're still gay or trans or whatever else. If anything, their existence is an indication that something is wrong and needs fixing in our community; that we have work to do to improve it.

My point is just that both meanings can exist, and that's important. You can be part of The Queer Community as an ideological, intracommunity movement that excludes certain conflicting ideologies (I certainly am!); and you can also acknowledge that at the end of the day, the wider community is also your community, and you have as many obligations to it as it has to you.

[ot3]

hey, any tips for staying in love with a series youre making? youve been working on quantum merit for 2 years now i think? any time i get an idea i just have it in the back of my mind that in a couple weeks im going to lose interest, let alone actually go through and start working on it. finishing soemthing is a distant dream. your art is amazing and a huge inspiration for me (is creativity infectious? bc thats how i feel whenever i read qm) so i was hoping maybe you had some insight. thanks <3

over two and a half years at this point actually! crazy! lacking the ability to follow through is a problem i've long had in life. i started drawing QM to try and curtail this. the trick isn't actually to stay in love with a series you're making, the trick is to learn to make things when you don't necessarily love it.

for me, the entire point of doing something operating on this level of self indulgence and experimental technique was to enable myself to churn stuff out even when i think everything i am doing is absolute shit, which is extremely extremely frequently. for long-haul projects you have to be willing and able to work on them even when you think all of your ideas are bad and all of your work is bad and not only is this the worst thing you have ever made, it is the worst thing anyone has ever made. the way i try and get through working on stuff when this is how i feel is that i remind myself i am not special in any way shape or form. everyone else in human history has had to make a lot of bad stuff before they get the privilege of making good stuff. this is allowed to be mine.

another thing that really helps is making sure that the process can be enjoyable even without good results. sometimes even when i hate everything i'm doing in terms of Substance, the act of just getting to draw something feels satisfying enough that i can make myself do it. this goes for all art, i think, not just long projects. if the Process is something you force yourself to sit through waiting for the end reward of a finished product, you're probably never going to be a functional artist. if you don't love Making art and you only love Finishing art you'll quickly find you don't make or finish much of anything.

additionally, i think an important part with long hauls like this is to never, ever look at the finish line. if i keep drawing the amount of stuff i have planned at the rate i have been drawing it, i will be at this for several more years minimum. thats an entirely overwhelming and terrifying thing to think about, and dwelling on it makes me freeze up and want to quit while i'm ahead. so i try not to ever think about actually finishing it. i have no idea if ill finish it i dont even have the slightest fucking clue what my life would even look like in the five years this could take to finish because it already looks nothing like it looked like three years ago. so instead focus on progress. if you think about finishing something you'll never do anything, if you think about just making a little bit of progress you can look back and suddenly you have over 100 full color pages. one foot in front of the other

i would also feel completely insincere if i did not mention how much all of the kind words people have had for my comic have helped me in finding the motivation to continue! seriously, it means so much to me that people like it. external motivation is not the be-all end-all of anything, but i suggest finding at least one friend who is willing to be your hype man and make them talk you out of being insane when you hate everything youre working on. when i reach the point where i literally like can't even tell what the pages im working on look like anymore i send them to my friends and make them all tell me that these are very normal looking drawings.

best of luck with your future endeavors anon i hope any of this is helpful! its an honor to be considered inspiring in any way