#<- after i already sent a very long apology to someone who might not even be upset but the idea of them being upset at me is worse than

[dispotatorulzz]

Guy who knows he overthinks all the time why am I overthinking

[saulocept]

come pour yourself all over me

pairing: sebastian sallow/reader/ominis gaunt [poly]

rating: g

summary: Maybe you’ll learn your lesson this time and remember not to forget your gloves. Or maybe you won’t. Sometimes the alternative is just better.

notes: someone actually asked to see the poly fic, so it’s here! i didn’t use the prompt they sent, but i’m grateful anyway. i might actually work on it the next if i have the time and inspiration, so this is for u lovely anon - you know who u r! lots of liberties taken in here, so apologies in advance. 

also: no more love triangles! we each have two hands so we intend to use it! 

You’ve made a mistake, a grave one, though it’s something you’ll only realize much later, when everything’s far too late to take back. Okay, so maybe you’re exaggerating a little, but there’s so much going on already it’s hard to think straight. You’re already running late as it is, and you’re not even sure you’ll make it long enough to live through the consequences. Still, now that you think about it, it’s better this way, to be honest.

You huff out a quiet sigh, leaning back against your seat, wondering if you’ll still make it in time if you run back to your mother’s house and grab everything you’d left behind. You know it wouldn’t work, not really; you’re already halfway through your destination, closer to the end goal than the starting line. It would be a greater waste of time to go back; you know this, of course, but it doesn’t stop you from wishing, anyway, thinking about all the possibilities, the different kinds of outcomes that could still happen.

You aren’t going to be the only one who’s late; it’s a natural occurrence, after all, something you can’t really stop or control, but even the thought of it doesn’t seem as comforting as you’d initially thought. You don’t want to be late, period, not when you’ve spent all this time being a model student and bringing honor to your house.

In retrospect, though, that feels like a very small thing to be hung up on, especially when you’ve got a much bigger thing to worry about. Like having freezing hands, for example. Or maybe dying from the cold.

Still, there’s not much you can do about it now. The train ride doesn’t stop for anyone, and even if it could, where else would you go? Your mother’s house is too far away now, and you’ve not been here in this place long enough that you’d know every nook and cranny, every possible shortcut there is to discover.

You breathe out another sigh, turning your head to glance at the windows outside. Whatever. It’s not like anyone’s ever died from frozen hands. Or maybe someone had and you just haven’t heard of it yet. Maybe you’ll even be the first to find out. Not that it matters anymore.

The train glides into a slow stop, and you see now that you’ve finally arrived. Breathing out a sigh (and accepting your inevitable demise), you shove your hands into the pockets of your coat, then slowly make your way to the glass doors, exiting the vehicle.

It’s not nearly as crowded today, which makes everything a little easier. Small victories, you think, breathing out a sigh of relief as your feet finally meet the snow-packed ground. Not quite a victory, though, because now the hardest part of your journey begins.

It’s a struggle; it’s too cold out, and even through the layers of your clothes, you can still feel the chill. Still, you press on, putting one foot forward, knowing that you don’t have much of a choice in this. You’re not that far from the school now, and though normally, you wouldn’t have minded the walk, thinking of it as an opportunity to acquaint yourselves with your surroundings, now it just feels like torture.

At this point, you’re just trying to survive. Your teeth chatter, and the freezing wind beats at your back, but you ignore it, focusing instead on your surroundings, making up stories about the shops and buildings you occasionally pass by to distract yourself.

You pause for a second, rub your palms together, pressing them against your cheeks in an attempt to keep warm. It barely works; you’re still cold all over, nearly ten seconds away from freezing to death, and somehow, the school seems even farther than ever. Has it always been like this or is it only because you’re almost dying?

Your hands are growing number, colder, and you flex your fingers a little, just to see if they still work. They do. Good. Time to move on. You bite the inside of your cheek, trying not to shiver. You’re almost there, you tell yourself, just to cheer yourself up, have something to look forward to. You’re not sure if it’s true, but you have to believe it is.

The sound of your name stops you in your tracks, and for a second, you wonder if you’re just making it up, hallucinating. Are you having flashbacks now, reliving a life that’s long lost? You reach up, pinch your cheek. It still feels warm enough, more than your hands at least, so that must mean you’re still alive.

Ready to dismiss everything as a product of your imagination, you press on once more, curling your arms around yourself and hissing. There it is again – the sound of your name, coming from somewhere behind you. Frowning, you quickly turn your head, spotting a familiar pair of faces a few feet away from you.

You raise a hand, wave at them, unable to stop yourself from smiling. Quickly, you jog over to where they are, stopping as soon as you’re in front of them. “Ominis, Sebastian,” you say, shoving your hands back in your pockets as you give each of them a nod. Somehow, the sight of them feels comforting, and you can’t help but beam at them. “You’re both late, too.”

Ominis nudges Sebastian’s foot with his shoe. “Someone,” he begins, glaring at his companion for emphasis, “actually forgot to wake on time.”

Sebastian shrugs, then turns to face you, smiling playfully as he gives you a quick onceover. “Clearly I wasn’t the only one.”

“You forgot to set an alarm, too?”

He looks confused for a second, like he doesn’t quite understand, then quickly shakes his head. “No,” he replies. There’s a thoughtful pause that follows, like he’s trying to decide what he should tell you. “We got too caught up in our experiments and lost track of the time.”

You raise a curious brow, inviting him to elaborate, but he only shrugs at you, smiling again. It’s a different kind this time: vague and tiny, not quite reaching his eyes. Almost distant. You’ve been a part of his “experiments” before – which is really just an elaborate term to say that they’ve been learning more of the dark arts spells – so there’s no reason for him to keep this as a secret from you.

Still, you don’t press him for details; you figure that he’ll just tell you all about it when he’s ready, and all you have to do is to just give him time.

“Okay,” you say, reaching out to give him a comforting pat on the shoulder. He relaxes beneath your touch, all the tension from his body disappearing all at once. “But you’ll tell me all about it later?”

“Of course.” The answer’s quick, given without hesitation. He looks up to meet your eyes, then gives you another smile. Warm, genuine – not likes the ones you’re used to. Even now, the sight of it is quick to turn you into a mush. Here, his voice has grown softer, fonder, like he’s telling you a secret – something that’s meant only for you. “I wouldn’t dream of leaving you behind.”

Ominis nudges his foot once more, frowning. “I think you’re forgetting something.”

“Oh!” Sebastian clears his throat, then opens his mouth to try again. “Of course—” he pauses, casts a quick glance at his companion, then turns to look at you again: a twinkle in his eyes, a teasing smile on his lips: “We wouldn’t dream of leaving you behind.”

You laugh, rolling your eyes. Already, the day seems to be looking up for you. “Much better.”

There’s a moment of silence between the three of you, slightly awkward. There isn’t much to say after that, you know, nothing else except for the fact that all three of you are already even running later than ever, but before you could even get the words out, Sebastian’s cutting you off, staring at you with an obvious frown.

“You’re not wearing any gloves.” It’s a statement more than a question, and it’s making you nervous somehow, even if you can’t quite tell why. You cast a glance at Ominis, who now has his head turned to you, his eyebrows furrowed slightly in concern. You know he can’t see you, not really, but still; having both their attention already feels too much, too overwhelming.

“I forgot them,” you reply, shifting your weight from one foot to another as you try to affect a lighter tone. Now that you’re saying it out loud, it really doesn’t feel like a big deal. Okay, so you forgot your gloves at home and you don’t have the time to think about replacing them. Who cares? At this point, there’s a bigger thing to worry about, like not being extra late to your first class.

This time, it’s Ominis who speaks. “You didn’t think to come back for them?” he asks, still frowning. There’s no sharpness to his voice, only worry, genuine enough to make you feel guilty. “You could die from the cold, you know.”

“I didn’t want to be late,” you explain, like it would somehow justify your earlier stupidity. You know, it wouldn’t, not really, but it’s not like you can think up of a better excuse. The truth’s all you’ve got, and it sounds even more ridiculous than the lies you usually come up with. “I only realized it when I was halfway through the ride, so I just figured coming back wouldn’t be worth it.”

This time, it’s Sebastian’s turn to speak. “I suppose they wouldn’t have called you a model student for nothing,” he remarks, snorting in amusement. You give him a glare in response; Ominis elbows him in the side, chiding, though Sebastian only laughs, turns his focus back on you. “Alright. Let me see your hands.”

It’s an easy enough request to grant. You take your hands out of your pockets, then gingerly present it to him for inspection. Gently, he takes one hand into his, turns it this way and that, frowning as he looks up at you again. “You’re freezing. How long have you been walking in here again?”

“Er, a few minutes, I think?” you reply. He gives you a disbelieving look, and you bite your lower lip, hurrying to explain, “I figured I could just get warm as soon as I’m back at school, you know, so I was trying to hurry.”

He opens his mouth like he wants to say something else, then shakes his head and sighs, seemingly exasperated. “I can’t believe you.”

You frown at him. “It’s not like I—”

“Here,” Ominis steps forward in your direction, interrupting whatever argument’s brewing between you and his companion. “Let me see.”

He doesn’t wait for a response. Blindly, he reaches for your hands, takes both of them in his. He frowns, though he doesn’t say anything else. Gently, he rubs his hands against yours, then presses them against his cheek – the same thing you did before, you note, though he’s warmer. Softer.

“There,” he says after a moment.  He’s still not letting go of your hands, though his grip is a little looser now – something you can slip away from if you so much as you want to. But he’s warm, and he’s soft, gently tracing circles all over your skin. A gesture of comfort, you think. Or maybe some other form of reassurance – a reminder of his presence, warm and stalwart. You’re not sure what it means, but it doesn’t mean you want him to stop. He looks up at you then, smiling a little, “A little better now, I hope.”

“Thank you,” you reply, and your voice is thick with emotion. You’re almost certain he could hear the smile in your voice, how you’re beaming at him so widely you look ridiculous.

“Of course.” He nods; if he’s ever noticed that, he doesn’t say anything about it. Instead, he squeezes your hand gently. You watch as his smile widens just a little, turns into something teasing. You’re still wondering what any of this means when he casts a glance at his companion, then turns to you as he adds an afterthought: “Aren’t you glad I’m here to save the day?”

Sebastian kicks him lightly in the ankle – more of a warning than a threat, and he rolls his eyes, laughing. “Alright,” he concedes, the smile still on his lips, prettier than ever, “We. Even though I’m doing most of the work.”

Sebastian rolls his eyes in response, though he marches over to you, reaching out to grab your other hand in his. His grip is much firmer, like he’s got no intention of letting you go soon. His touch is warm, though it’s a different kind; more like wildfire: harsh and burning, as opposed to Ominis’s campfire: gentle, cozy. Still, it’s not entirely unwelcome.

“You’re not doing most of the work,” he protests, imitating Ominis’s actions: tracing circles along your skin, vague patterns that seem more like magical symbols than anything. There’s a certain roughness to the way he does it, likely brought on by his frustration, and upon realizing what he’s doing, he pauses for a second, then goes slower, gentler. He looks up and meet your eyes, giving you a sheepish smile – a quiet apology, you’re sure of it. You nod, smile back at him in response, then squeeze his hand. All’s easily forgiven when you know he doesn’t mean to hurt you in the first place. He squeezes back, grateful, then turns his attention back on Ominis. “See?”

Ominis only laughs in response, shaking his head. “I hope you know that we’re even later now because of your antics, Sebastian.”

“You’re as much to blame in this as I am,” Sebastian grumbles, giving his companion a glare. Ominis, however, remains completely unfazed.

He shakes his head again, then turns to face you. “Come on,” he says, tugging at your wrist. He pulls you toward the direction of the school: one hand on his wand, the other still holding yours, tracing absent circles along the inside of your wrist. “Let’s go. Or we’re going to be really late.”

You nod, and the two of you follow after him, the both of them still holding your hands, with no intention of letting go. Huh. Somehow, you don’t seem to mind this at all. -

It’s quiet for the longest time, until Sebastian turns to you, saying your name. He looks thoughtful.

“Hey,” he says. You give him a curious look, waiting. His voice has gone oddly soft, conspiratorial, and you can’t help but feel a little suspicious. What is he up to this time? “I was just wondering—” here, he pauses, lets his words sink in – “Why didn’t you just use a spell to keep warm?”

You feel your cheeks heating up. On the other side of you, you hear a familiar snicker: quiet, subdued; it’s still obvious, anyway, and it only serves to make you even more embarrassed. You narrow your eyes, glare at him, ready to just melt into the ground and disappear. “Shut up.”

He only smirks at you in return.

[danieyells]

Could you imagine if MC doesn't break the curse and dies? And then cutting to a year or two into the future and a couple of the boys are hunting an Anomaly only to get attacked by a bunch of flower monsters, they do manage to beat them back only for them to hear an all too familiar voice asking if they're still alive.

The Anomaly appears before the Ghouls in the most vicious and cruel way possible, in the corpse of MC and in the most mocking tone possible it says, "Hi~ Did you miss me?"

Idk I think that would really mess with the Ghouls.

I don't think the Academy would release them if they turned into the anomaly lmaooooo I guarantee you they will kill them on campus, if they don't keep them locked up for study. They sent Taiga to kill the one that cursed them specifically because Taiga kills things, they want those things dead. In the weeks leading up to their last day they'd be kept somewhere in Mortkranken, being studied and experimented on while flowers grow out of their head and eyes. And maybe some of their friends would want to let them out, but they'd be convinced against it--if they're released the Institute will send someone to kill them. Someone who isn't attached like they are. The best hope they have is being locked up right now.

But yeah if somehow they got out or something. . .I dunno, I think it depends on the ghoul. A lot of them would be very "you are not them anymore" and not show mercy--the ones who would be shaken by it would be more invested in capturing them. If they can talk they can be reasoned with, perhaps they'll come back willingly? But if they're attacking them they have to fight back--although it didn't attack Taiga that we're aware of. We don't even know if the Kyklos can fight, but assuming it does.

Oops my list of responses got long. Some are more intense(?) than others lol

Jin would feel a little tinge of regret that with all his money and power this couldn't have had been prevented. He would try and capture them, but if that weren't feasible. . .he might have had some kind of tracker made when he learned they got away from the Academy. They'll be able to find them and capture them. For their memory he'll make sure they find a way to cure this curse. Maybe, just maybe, they can be un-cursed and they're still in there. So they need to keep the body.

Tohma would do whatever Jin asked of him, assuming he's still working with/for Jin at this point. If Jin says capture it he'll try and capture it. If Jin says kill it, kill it. If he's on his own, he knows he should capture it so he'll try and do that but, again, if it can't be done then cut it down.

It'd definitely bother Kaito. Assuming he doesn't grow a backbone, he'd freeze up. He might try and talk to and reason with them. But if they start trying to attack him he'd have no choice but to fight back, or someone who's with him would fight it for him. Because he wouldn't be able to get past that he's hearing them talk and if they sound scared or in pain or upset by all of this it would be so hard to keep going. But they'd have to. He'd somehow end up capturing them by pure dumb luck.

Luca would just apologize and promise to avenge them before cutting them down, assuming he doesn't eventually understsnd that he needs to capture, not kill, the anomalies. Considering PC's dead, he'd probably have learned by then and he'd spend forever trying to capture them, even if it were on his own.

Alan, like Luca, might pause for a bit but then mercy kill them. He'd feel awful about it afterwards though. Like, you'd need to give the guy a minute for real. Yes, he knows they were already dead and that wasn't really them anymore. But it still feels bad.

Leo. . .I feel like he'd've learned whatever he could about Kyklos after the failure tk break their curse. Like, c'mon, they must've found something out. At some point, he'd learn Ed knew something too and he'd get information out of him. He'd know things the Institute doesn't know. For example, the Kyklos' victim may not be dead in there. The Institute said they'd die but Ed said they'd just turn into the anomaly--the Institute is likely the one that would kill them. So he'd make sure they get captured, or at least make sure they escape instead of get killed if they can't capture them yet. If they can be cured they might be able to come back. And they will fucking owe him. (But, man, he's used AI to fake people's voices before and it's 1000 times worse having that kind of thing used against you. Gross. Hopefully his gum over their mouth will shut them up. Even the way they breathe is way too loud.)

Sho, I think, would still be following Leo's lead. He's be surprised Leo doesn't want them killed until Leo fills him in on everything he learned from Ed. Sho'll be really determined to capture them if there's a chance they're still in there. He'd apologize that Hyde would probably be examining them though. If he tries anything weird, just threaten to curse him, okay? You can't unless he takes his stupid mask off but like. You can threaten him, I'm giving you permission.

Haru would chat right back. Try and convince them to come willingly. If they couldn't be convinced. . .well, sorry, he has to take them in. No hard feelings, right? If they're still in there at all, they have to understand better than anyone how important this is!

Towa would be fucking furious. Like, for a while, too. He very well might slaughter them without mercy. How fucking dare it. The way Alan was beating on Takeru's ghost? Imagine that but with lightning. Maybe an explosion or two. Reduced to ashes. He did not give that thing permission to speak to him. And how dare it use his Dandelion's voice to do so. How fucking dare it think he would feel bad in response to it. It should have knelt and begged for mercy instead of mocking him if it wanted to keep living.

Ren would wince and complain about that being disgusting. C'mon, that's super tasteless. And corny. He's seen this exact kind of thing in a shitty horror movie he watched. . . .he watched it with PC even. Ugh, they're definitely mocking him. Okay, here comes the inner tube, time to go back to the Institute, buddy. Can you not talk the rest of the way maybe? It'll make him feel bad.

Taiga shot the thing before it could even talk. Not dead though, oh no, it just can't walk. Yeah, he did miss you, kitty cat. You've been wasting away out here! It's okay, you actually smell even better, you're gonna taste even better like this! Whoever Taiga is with has to watch him talk to this thing like he knew and loved it while he eats it alive. Keep fighting, kitty cat, keep scratching, good. If they're still in there at all he wants as much of them as he can eat. When he's done it's the most full he's felt in a long time.

Romeo, like Towa, would be disgusted and pissed off and just. Not even be there for it. Oh, no, the second it tried to use that disgusting imitation of PC's voice he was shooting it he was blowing it up. Stop talking. STOP TALKING. How dare you mock Romeo Scorpus Lucci! How dare you TAKE SOMETHING FROM HIM and dangle it, tarnished, in his face! Die!

Ritsu would inform them they've committed some crime against anomalous law by escaping the Institute with intent to spread their curse, and he would be taking them in and having them tried. Sorry, but he won't be defending them this time. He can't forgive what the curse has done to them, but if they come willingly perhaps they'll be given a more gentle treatment and sentencing. Perhaps if they help the Institute they'll be able to be treated and released. Isn't that better than running away forever?

Subaru would feel so bad. . .that they turned into the anomaly is only the anomaly doing what its nature dictated. And now they're only following their new instincts. They know he doesn't want to harm them. Please come back with him. He understands they aren't trying to hurt anyone, and he won't fight if they don't fight. But he can't let them get away, either. Surely if they can speak they're reasonable. If they keep running away someone will kill them. Please just come back. He knows they don't want to be locked up like Lyca was, but it might be what's best for everyone. . .he'll do everything he can to see to it that Darkwick or the Institute treat them well. . . . Of course, he'll fight if he has to. But he'll refuse to use lethal force. Either they'll be captured or they'll escape. No other options.

Haku. . .I think he'd feel bad, but it wouldn't impede him any. He doesn't wanna give them up to the Institute, knowing how they'll be treated, but. . .what's the other option, letting them run free and cursing more people? Letting the prophecy fulfil itself and some calamity happens? Nah, sorry, but they've gotta come back. Not even for the Institute--it's about the Prophecy. If they don't go back soon surely something bad will happen. Things have already been going downhill since they escaped. He'd laugh and play his flute and lock them in with him. Isn't this familiar--but a little backwards? Right back where they started. He's taking them to Darkwick. Time is a flat circle, or whatever.

Zenji, assuming he's still floating around and somehow ends up in this situation, would be so upset and frustrated. . .and he's pretty helpless in these situations too. I assume, as a ghost, Zenji is aware of spirits, and he'd see their soul may still be in there and implore whoever he's with, if they can hear him(I assume he'd be with Subaru) to carefully capture them. Because they may still be in there. Maybe he'd try and communicate with their spirit. Maybe he could get them to control their body just a little bit, just enough to get them captured. If nothing else, even if they die, their spirit can be released right? They should be allowed to move on if they want. They can't do that trapped inside their cursed shell. (But if not he wouldn't mind being ghost partners!)

Ed has met plenty of Kyklos before. He already knows the deal. They are a Kyklos now. There's nothing wrong with that. Congratulations on being freed of humanity--although perhaps they would be happier as a different sort of anomaly than this. He considers letting them go--this mission wasn't about them after all--but he asks if they're happy. He looks into their soul to find if they are happy. They are not. Their instincts will make them run or fight or seek humans to spread their curse to, and they, like a freshly turned vampire, don't have much control outside of their instincts. Kyklos never do. Ed has already graduated and he can go home now. . .and the Greek branch of the Institute will know better what to do with a Kyklos than the Japan branch, he suspects. He's not sure how they'll manage it. . .but instead of taking them to Darkwick, he'll get them out of the country somehow. He'll keep them safe until then. Somehow. Just don't get caught until then, okay? So he lets them go, because he, unlike others, can understand an anomaly. (Towa can also understand, but he was too pissed off to hear them out, of course.) He'll be back for them, because he isn't beholden to the Institute. He wanted to stay in Japan a little longer but this may be more pressing. . . .

Rui. . .god what could he even do. He would feel so bad because Ed already told him they're still in there, somewhere. Would it be more merciful to kill them? It's what the Institute would expect him to do, and they may get on his ass if they learn he didn't even try. . .he'd laugh about them putting him in a tough spot. The Institute didn't get any better in their absence. Will they kill them if he takes them back? Will they at least try to cure the curse after the fact or study them or something first? Is it better to just kill them now?? Is it better to just let them go???? But they'd hurt people. . .in the end, he's a pacifist. If it prevents damage to others and he doesn't have to do the killing, he has to capture them and hope for the best.

Lyca, I think it'd depend on how much they still smell like themself. If they smell like themself still, just heavily obscured by all the flowers, he might try and talk to them and capture them, but if not. . .he'd get mad that this awful thing is using his friend's voice and trying to trick him. He'd probably just kill them then.

Yuri isn't a fighter anyway, but he'd immediately take it out on them verbally. How dare they run away before they could make a breakthrough, how dare they make him look like a failure by escaping??? They should have felt honored to be his test subject! They should have felt honored to be advancing such a valuable study! Even if they died, someone else could live thanks to their sacrifice! Or they could have lived!! So they are getting captured and they sre going back to Yuri's lab and no one else is going to touch or study them without his approval and supervision and he WILL find a cure for their curse, even if that cure doesn't bring them back for additional scolding! Now, Jiro, capture it.

Jiro would be curious as to how much of that talking was still them. He'd keep talking to them. Asking them questions. Do you remember our names? Do you remember what you studied in class? Do you remember the missions we went on? Do you remember when Yuri did this? Do you remember when I did this? Do you remember when you said that? Do you remember how you felt then? Do you feel anything now? He'd be so curious about what's going on in their head and if it's still the PC or if it's just the parasitic anomaly. He'd be studying them and fighting them--and he'd be very certain to capture them. Because he needs to know everything. And if they're still in there, wouldn't it be amazing if they got them back? And, of course, because Yuri told him to. Even if they're gone and their life can't be salvaged, there's so much to be gained from capturing them. Don't make it easy on him. He needs to know what they can do, too.

[t8oo]

By all accounts the lupin fandom has always prided itself as a drama free ship war free open to polyamory and wildly different headcanons fandom. And I can name a few people that have worked hard to keep this place very friendly. And I really started in this fandom in a friendly place. I even managed to make friends that Liked Luzeni maybe even just as much as me. I was ecstasic. I really loved those people so much, I talked to them daily. Some of them I respected so much for their craft. Great.

Id always been upfront and very clear that they were befriending someone who was fucked in the head. And i dont mean seasonal depression type I mean Bipolar and Bpd and all the symptoms it entails. Im not even going to mention the upbringing and the life ive had. All of it was a complete and violently abusive catastrophy.

Last year I exhibited symptoms that were intense. TOXIC. It didnt mean that I was toxic to my friend, because I was rational enough to know about boundaries. I was at the end of my rope. For undisclosed reasons I had to be interned. Great. During the ultimate time that lead me to become crazy, not a single person i thought was my friend gave me a hand. I received a message from one friend while I was litteraly perched on the windowsill about to jump telling me about their life. Not asking abt me. I sent some Hey thats cool but im about to kill myself and they didnt reply. Days after I was interned they told me that my message triggered them so they had to have an emergency meeting with their psychiatrist. Cool. Nothing abt me still. Sorry ? Fallout 1

During yhat whole shitstorm and despite everything a friend became my like. favorite person in bpd terms. Just really fucking embarassing shit really. I tried to prevent it, i tried to pull out not to make it worse, which not only was making it worse but was making it toxic. I aparently blew out, which of course my memory conveniently forgot. I said something ahout their partner. They never explained what. Again, after internment I apologized. They told me they needed time. They bsolutely deserved it. I was probably horrible to warrant that reaction. I might even have been toxic. Again, I do not remember what I even said. Im not a demonic entity it couldnt have been like I desacrated them and insulted them beyond repair. Even in my anger I have always been limited. But all i can do is speculate. They never explained, just took my apology. And then They never came back. That friend I liked so much that despite everything I did to control myself became a person i liked beyond wat was normal. We have had so much fun. Not enough to mend bridges or explained anything. Fallout 2

During that blow out one friend meddled, asking that other friend for information ? I asked to pass along a message to friend B. which friend A refused. Like it was not their business, even tho they were clearly invested in the business enough to talk to both of us about it lol. No problem. 4 days ago thou i confronted a group of friends that were friends As friend, for kicking them out of an rp group for no reason, even bordering on racism. My friend feels hurt about that event, has always hinted at it. it even stopped them from rping, something they did for 12 years. They had no closure and so I tried to bring it to them. Asshole move or empathic ? Thinking back i may have been taking the situation personnaly because i was already on my way out menrally. I dont know. All i know is that four days later, after i talked for hours to that group and the reason why they treated my friend so poorly that they still had scars over it, i was experiencing a mental crisis and that friend refused a request. Great. Fallout 3

The last friend litteraly stood by and said nothing. Not before the fallout and not after. I dont even know'if that counts as a fallout. This girl was so cute, so fun, so talented, so FUNNY. And when it came to a heed she said nothing. No side taking. Neutrality. Okay

At this point I no longer had anyone to talk to I think. I was documenting my attempt and the horrible conditions of the psych ward on twitter for everyone of my "friends" to see. One i particularly loved so much because they genuinely were on the same level of insanity related to luzeni made a tweet about the late hystix, a person i did not know but a lot of the lupin fandom did. A beautiful soul that was always supportive and kind. Everyone was mourning her. It was truly heartbreaking. I hope she is in peace. Our attempts matched in timing, it was actually mindblowing. Mine just fucking failed because of nosy neighbors. I feel so close to her in spirit still. That we both struggled so much that we came to the conclusion that nothing could save us. She did not have the nosy neighbors. That friend mourned her publicly.. on twitter. Ok. Logical, its a depressing, horrible and sad situation all around. All we can do is mourn. Still, it was a friend I was genuinely close to. That never showed the empathy they did to me. Hey dude so im kind of facing the exact same issues but you never reached out ? While my torment was there and documented on twitter because again. I did not fucking know wat was going on. I was in a strict mental ward under a lot of dosage from nurses who refused to give me insulin even thou i was type 1. Friend said that they tweeted at me. No mention of the years and years of discussions we had on discord and me checking up on them everytime they pulled out for severe family matters and i was genuinely concerned. Nope they aparently tweeted something at me. Okay. Thank you for the concern. Your investment really shows. Fallout 4

after that I stopped friends all together. The fact that friends I was talking nigh on everyday to each revealed their lack of concern for me during an extreme mental health crisis was abyssmal to say the least.

Fallout 5 came with Sheen. I was managing a charity zine for Palestine, and the lack of investment from so many artists brought me to the edge. I took it out on Sheen in the softest way possible. I told them I was disapointed in their piece and that it looked low effory. Sheen, a person I had knwon for the entirety of my investment in the lupin fandom, decided that an offense was enough to block me and never speak again. Once again i was on the verge of yet another blow out. And it happened. Lol. Its just so funny in retrospect that everytime I start acting weird alluding to a breakdown people shun me out despite, you know. me being clear abt my medical record. I realized that I was rude to Sheen and it was uncalled for. Apologized publicly not in the attempt that Sheen sees it but just so that everyone knows that if they hear abt the story, at least they know its all been my fault. Online friendships are so cool because it just takes the block button to burn bridges without coming back. With no chance of mending or at least a genuine apology. so Fallout 5

Is there a reason that all of these issues happened within one fandom ? I do think so. Unless i am incredibly unlucky. Or an abusive piece of shit unbeknownst to me. I think that the lupin fandom is surface level niceties. If they dont like you you will know. It will be passive but you will be muted and eventually just ostracized. You will not be invited in fandom events, or group discussions. It did not help that my mental health was constantly deteriorating and I started developping a persecution complex, thinking that people were making secret discords where they were telling others to avoid me or something. Ive endured all of this for one thing. One Humiliating thing : i love luzeni. I love it so much I want a tatto of it. I love it so much that after years before sleep I pick a random fic and then imagine their discussions. I love their dynamic so much. I love their romance I love how fucking inhinged they are i love that they hurt and love each other the same, i love that they cant live without the other, that they genuinely complete each other in a really ugly but complete patchwork of mental illness and really elaborate kinks.

I gave up thou. Another depression, I blew out, attempted again with the window, got caught and sent to the hospital. It pulled me back from the fandom. I realized i was allocating so much of my thoughts to it and how I could be better perceived, how I could make friends again to talk about the fictional thing i loved the most in the world. And I realized that in giving up and keeping to myself, that I could be more stable. That the damage was done and I cant really enjoy this fandom anymore, but Im still attached to the hip to luzeni and so in the words of a really brilliant man... Nah... Ill do my own thing.

U might be wondering why the hell is this bitch airing their laundry publicly. Its therapeutic. You dont have to read or care. If those friends see it, and make a comment of their own about how the events did NOT happen like I told, I would love to hear how they perceived it. I do not give my friendship freely and easily and these people have done profound damage to my abilty to trust. And most of all, I never had any closure. I kept rethinking, blaming them, then myself, then miscommunication, then them and then myself again. To this day I dont know why all of this happend. Did I act like an unfathomable monster, or did my friend simply not give a shit enough to help me through this. I dont fucking know and I cant deny either options. Maybe I am talking through a completely selfish wrapped sens of perception that is not to be trusted. I wouldnt be surprised. I have a very hard time relying on my own brain lately. My health is deteriorating very fast, and shit is getting worse.

The second reason is that I am going to be interned for psychiatric issues for the next 3 months. For the first time in my life I think Ill finally get all the professional support i need, available and close. Im not going to be investing any time in the fandom, if simply talking to the psychiatrist abt this catastrophic strings of fallouts. I might be posting some luzenis, but frankly i doubt it. I only make fanart when I am happy, or sad enough but still capable. Im neither right now. You are not entitled to any of these informations, but I just wanted to write them out of my mind because I have a LOT of baggage to go on through and this is an extra bag I dont need so im throwing it out.

You cannot gauge an entire fandom from your perspective, the same way you cannot gauge an entire userbase. No, tiktokers are not the worst people in humanity. Neither are reddit users. Being on tumblr is cool, but it doesnt make u better than being on twitter. And so this is only my opinion of the lupin fandom. I met some amazing persons that i wish the best for, for ever and ever, but in all the niceties and welcoming you might see, I dont think that extends to a person with mental illnesses that are villified, or out of their control. I can fairly say that my experience was disapointing, and I dont intend to rekindle anything. Ill just be on the fringe maintaining the spirit of luzeni alive because fuck you monkey punch these are my characters now by law.

If you read until this bro get a life. Also im joking, youv given me more consideration than most people i met have. If your take after this is that I am deranged, then youv read right.

Thank you for reading. This blog has always been a pleasure to post on, even my most cringe and embarassing shippy stuff. Ive been met with nothint but support, and I truly enjoy being here because of you. I hope this isnt a 3+ month long goodbye. I hope I draw my lovers again. But I cant guarantee anything. I wish you all health most of all, and love and compassion.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for insisting on an apology?

☆I'M SO SORRY THIS GOT WAY TOO LONG☆

(Ok tbh I feel like I already know the answer, but I'd like some other opinions just in case. Also, I kinda need to vent, sorry)

(ALSO- I tried to post this on reddit AITA and holy shit are they picky about submissions- this story got deleted because "no interpersonal relationship problems allowed". WHAT possible conflict situation would not be interpersonal? Can you even have a AITA submission that isn't interpersonal?)

My mom is a premium member of a casino and she found out that the casino was having a BBQ for the premium members and their guests. So she wanted us to go.

Except she didn't find out about this BBQ until the day before it would happen and I had work that day and since my shift had long ended, I would not get a chance to talk to anyone at work about switching shifts and I don't have anyone's number to ask. So my mom decided for me that I should just call out.

Now here's where I might be TA (but I feel like what happened after could earn me back some points)

I was pissed off at the fact that she didn't even ask if I wanted to go or if I was ok with calling out or if I even COULD get someone to cover. She just automatically told me to call out, like I have to listen to her. (I'm over 18. I am an adult) I didn't appreciate that she just decided this for me like I was a child and told her so. This lead to a big fight where I cussed at her and called her a bitch and told her to go fuck herself (not my best moment) and told her to go to this stupid BBQ alone. (I genuinely meant that part about going alone- at least somebody should enjoy it. Also, she's my ride, so I was willing to be stranded with no way of getting anywhere if it would enable her to enjoy her party.)

After I calmed down, I told her I'd be willing to call out if she absolutely insisted. She said no, it was fine and I ended up going to work as usual.

Almost.

About an hour before my shift ends, she shows up AT MY JOB and tells me to ask my manager if I could leave.

No! It doesn't work that way! I work retail. As far as I know, no retail job will let you leave early unless it's an emergency. She worked retail, she knows the drill. So I tell her to think of a legitimate reason why I'd have to leave and I'd tell my lead that. (Luckily I had a lead I was pretty chill with that day and she was like why is your mom here? And when I explained the situation, she was like "yeah I don't really care if you leave, but I need you to make up a legitimate excuse for when [our boss] asks why you left.")

She couldn't think of a reason, and after humiliating me at my job, she left without me noticing and I finished my shift. (It was a very busy and stressful day, even without my mom pulling that shit)

She surprisingly picked me up when my shift was over and we went to the dinner and were able to make it in time and had a nice dinner, so all of her stunts were wholly unnecessary.

She had sent me several long and vicious texts while I was at work that I didn't see until much later in the night. I will quote some of the more vicious ones (text message will have 《》 around them my personal thoughts on the text will be after with *) omitting personal info:

《You are a 26 year old loser [my name] stuck at a dead-end job that you've been doing for almost 5 years. A little bit of a rush shouldn't phase you like it does and you should be able to ask to leave a few minutes early- why can't you?》

*Name-calling is unnecessary and rude. She is constantly putting me down and calling me a loser and insulting my job, like she doesn't also work retail. So it's no wonder why I hesitate to jeopardize my job to please her.

[Context- one of the reasons I couldn't leave, other than the fact that retail Doesn't Work That Way is that I had a huge rush of customers and had to straighten up my department that I was working alone. I was closing and it would be extremely obvious who had left the department a mess and I would get in trouble for it.]

《Who left you with that mess? I overheard them [my leads] talking and they didn't sound like they thought you were being left with anything. They thought you should've handled it and can't do your job if that was a problem.》

*This one really got me and I was VERY glad I didn't see this text while at work, because I probably would've had some kind of meltdown. I honestly do not know how long she's been doing this (probably my whole life) but recently I've been noticing that she keeps trying to plant seeds of doubt and paranoia in me. Mostly by telling me that people are talking about me behind my back and/or judging me. Or telling me that my friends don't actually like me. Another example that I caught recently was her telling me that when I go to retail stores as a customer, she notices other customers and the employees staring at me, judging my hair/outfit/whatever. I immediately thought this was total bullshit, but just in case I was wrong, I paid extra, EXTRA attention to everyone around me when I was out in public to see if anyone was pointing, whispering, looking at me, doing anything to suggest judgement and I honestly did not see a single person even glance at me. I have unnaturally colored hair, so I expected at least one glance, but I got nothing. Side note rant over.*

I'm not going to quote the last text, as it doesn't have any specific quotes that provide any context. She just demanded that if I am not out of work by 5:01 (exactly 1 minute after my shift ends) then she is leaving me stranded and that I need to get my friend to pick me up.

*which....I live in her car. If I hadn't been out on time, I would've been completely stranded at night, with nowhere to go and no way to get there, which as a female, is unbelievably dangerous. It is also incredibly rude to demand that my friend, who doesn't work with me and has his own life, should drop everything and come pick me up and....what? Take me where? I'd probably end up having to stay at his house, which is very rude to basically guilt him into letting me stay at his house for the night*

SO after the dinner, I read all these texts and I was furious and insisted that she apologize to me for 1. Causing a scene at my work 2. All of that nasty shit she said to me in the texts and 3. For blaming me for ruining her plans when even after I went to my shift, we were still able to go to the dinner, so all of the stunts she pulled were entirely unnecessary.

She literally laughed in my face and called me delusional (for...wanting a verbal apology....) and when I doubled down on demanding an apology, she called me a delusional cunt and I still have never received an apology to this day.

What are these acronyms?

[syndrossi]

What I appreciate about Daemon is how he has reined in some of his more violent impulses since becoming a father. He's always been hot-tempered and spent the last ten years at war which understandably would make a man feel more on edge to say the least. Not even taking into account the stress of the kidnapping... So seeing Daemon take his time to collect himself so he doesn't end up lashing out at his children and taking care not to seem threatening (his hurt when he assumed Rhea portrayed him as a villain to his own children? ouch!). I love to see him trying so hard to be a good father to Jon and Rhaegar so that they can trust him and feel sure and secure in his fierce love. I think some people (Alicent probably) would assume he's very stern if not a violent father so seeing those expectations subverted feels very sweet.

Also it's funny how he makes an observation that moving Caraxes to Red Keep would require a softer touch since he has been at war for so long but never thinks that about himself. Doesn't cross his mind that he might be tired and hurt after all the violence he witnessed there. There are of course more important things going on and he's very busy caring for his sons and holding himself together right now. He also doesn't strike me as someone who would spend a lot of time on self reflection. But I think the boys have now definitely picked up on his hurt regarding his brother and the war he fought and will be still forced to fight for him in the Stepstones.

Daemon and his children are very alike in this regard - they will give themselves away to keep their family safe with not a thought to spare for their wellbeing

Yeah, Daemon has two motivations now to keep his temper in check as much as possible. One, so as not to spark that instinctive fear/wariness that Rhaegar shows, and two, to not give his brother any cause to send him away from them. The latter is what we saw at the end of chapter twenty-two, when Daemon body-slammed a Kingsguard into the wall out of frustration and then actually apologized after. They're hard instincts to overcome, especially when born of protectiveness (hearing about things the boys have suffered) or fear (losing the boys).

The one time he doesn't hold back is against actual enemies, aka the sole enemy he was able to kill, the Volantene on the boat, which actually seemed to make Jon feel better. (Though if he ever gave into the impulse to actually torture someone for hurting them, it would really mess with Rhaegar.)

Yeah, on the war vet front, Daemon recognizes that his time in the Stepstones has made him occasionally dangerous to his children (like when they woke him with the blanket and he nearly accidentally killed Rhaegar), but he focuses on his failings, not reflecting that he's tired or in need of rest himself.

But I think the boys have now definitely picked up on his hurt regarding his brother and the war he fought and will be still forced to fight for him in the Stepstones.

You know, it's funny, when I initially read this, I was like "well, technically he wasn't forced to fight for Viserys in the Stepstones, that was his own choice," but then I took a step back and was like: huh, he kind of was? Daemon thinks that the Stepstones is a precursor to additional foreign attacks if they fail to show sufficient strength in fighting it back, and he already gave Viserys the crown for "King of the Narrow Sea." Ultimately, he is fighting for Crown at the very least, and since Viserys wears that crown, for him. (If Aegon II wore that crown, Daemon would do no such thing.) And Viserys chose to let the small council defund the war year after year, a part of him perhaps hoping that Daemon would eventually come back if it became enough of a struggle. Yet that was the very thing that kept Daemon there, the pressure of the entire war collapsing if he wasn't there to provide support on Caraxes.

And he's the one arguing to be sent back there, even though it's the last thing he wants, because it's ultimately the best way to keep the twins safe, to Daemon. With the Crown's full support and a few extra dragons, he might be able to finish in weeks what dragged out over years. When that's done, he might spend some time ruminating on the fact that his brother's willingness to leave them scrounging for forces/supplies for so long took eight years from him.

Daemon and his children are very alike in this regard - they will give themselves away to keep their family safe with not a thought to spare for their wellbeing

They are one another's greatest blessing and curse in that regard. That's the literal conversation Jon and Rhaegar have in chapter seventeen!

Rhaegar to Jon:

“Promise me,” he said, clasping Jon’s arm in a tight grip. “Promise you’ll guard your life as you do mine.”

And Jon flipping the script:

“Do not pretend you have not tried the same.” Rhaegar’s brow furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean?” “With Crayne, with that—thing.” You would give yourself away, piece by piece, for me.

Daemon is lucky that he hasn't yet had to witness yet how reckless the twins will be not just for one another, but for him. It will be a new level of terrifying for him.

[ryukoishida]

Wind Breaker Week 2024| Day 4: In which Umemiya has a plan and everyone thinks it's a bad plan. (They went with it anyway.)

Title: hush hush Fandom: Wind Breaker Characters/Ships: SuoSaku, Umemiya, Nirei, Hiiragi Rating: PG Summary: In which cop!Sakura and gangster!Suo meet, fight, and fall in love (probably). A/N: Here's day four... it's taking me longer and longer between each prompt but I do have an ending planned. Sort of. :')

Written for @windbreakerweek

Also on AO3~

“Sakura, you don’t have to agree to Umemiya’s idiotic plan, you know,” Hiiragi Toma told his subordinate with his version of a worried expression. It might still look like a disgruntled frown to most, but Sakura knew the older man long enough to decipher that face as someone who thought this idea of their captain’s was a bit… unconventional, to say the least.

And due to said questionable plan, Hiiragi was understandably concerned for Sakura’s personal safety and sanity.

“I know, but it’s fine,” Sakura shrugged, although when he’d first heard about the details of the plan himself, he’d been stuttering into an uncharacteristically speechlessness, too.

Seeing as how Nirei betrayed him — he sent the blond a meaningful dark look, at which Nirei had the audacity to send him a bright smile before looking away — Sakura was called into Captain Umemiya’s office soon after, where he was cheerily told to sit down next to Hiiragi (looking extra stressed if the pinch between his brows was any indication).

He wasn’t stupid; he already saw Nirei’s guilty and apologetic expression right before he got summoned by his supervisor, so he was mentally prepared for a good scolding, possibly a harsh warning to leave Suo Hayato alone, or surrender all his intel he’d collected so far to another team in the department to follow up, as Sakura had already had his identity revealed to a possible suspect, there was absolutely no way the higher-ups were going to allow him to participate in the investigation anymore.

Except he had once again underestimated Umemiya Hajime and the strange schemes this man’s brain came up with.

“F-ffffake dating?!”

If humans were capable of spontaneous combustion, Sakura was sure he was very close to it. He could feel his cheeks burning at the d-word, even if it was play-pretend, if he were to understand the captain’s plan properly.

“Umemiya…” Hiiragi started in a warning tone, but with an easy smile, the captain of their department put up a hand, signalling Hiiragi to allow him to finish first.

“Well, Sakura, what do you say?” their captain continued as if a ridiculous plan didn’t just sprout out of his own mouth. “I would commend you and Nirei for locating Suo Hayato’s base, but it still stands that you two have disobeyed direct orders from your superior. Not only that, but from all the rumours surrounding Suo’s past history, you could have landed in life-threatening danger. I don’t know what that man is planning, but I can only assume that when he decided to let you two go unscathed, it wasn't out of the kindness of his heart.”

“I-I apologise… sir.”

Umemiya waved the awkward and half-hearted apology off.

“I could pass the case off to Mizuki’s team; they have been conducting their own investigations on the drug trafficking business of Vaisravana Unit, and I’m sure having them tail one of their top lieutenants would result in some invaluable intel.”

“He’ll be even more vigilant than before, now that he knows the cops have their eyes on him,” Sakura muttered in protest.

Umemiya’s smile brightened.

“Exactly! That’s what I thought as well! So, instead of wasting this precious lead by throwing multiple rocks against an impenetrable metal wall, I’d rather have one of our own people infiltrate even deeper through this opportune opening and gain as much intel as we can.

“However,” Umemiya’s expression sobered slightly as he continued, his gaze unwavering as their eyes met over the width of the desk, “there are risks involved with this job, as you can imagine. You’ll be by yourself with no backup when you’re around the suspect, and even if we send teams to protect you if Suo is participating in any of Vaisravana’s various criminal activities outside of our jurisdiction, your safety is not guaranteed, especially if civilians become involved.”

“I don’t care about any of that,” Sakura scoffed.

When he chose this career path for himself a few years ago, he’d decided that the only way he would make a positive impact with his ‘skill set’ was to punch out bad guys and kick down any evil obstacles until criminals were arrested and peace of the city was reclaimed. Well, he wouldn’t think that highly of himself, but it was a goal and mindset he was working towards. Very, very gradually. Being dropped into dangerous situations, getting injured on duty… those were all things Sakura had expected he’d have to face eventually coming into this job, and the thought of it had never fazed him.

After what he’d been through, nothing much could.

“Maybe you should care about that a little,” Hiiragi huffed, and Sakura ignored him.

“And anyway, aren’t you being just a tad bit overly optimistic here?” Sakura said, his mismatched eyes expressing obvious doubt that other junior officers wouldn’t dare articulate directly in front of their captain, but he’d never been the type to remain quiet when it came to important matters, and this was important in more ways than one. “This will only work assuming he even wants to… d-date someone. What if he doesn’t swing that way? What if he already has someone he’s seeing? I don’t fancy playing the third wheel in someone else’s relationship.”

“Ah, such a pure and kind heart you have, young Sakura,” Umemiya praised him, though Sakura was sure the older man might be half-mocking him. “Don’t you worry about that front. From what we know, Suo’s past romantic partners have all been men, and he’s currently single. Most likely.”

“Most. Likely.” Sakura had a huge urge to roll his eyes, but he stopped himself.

“Well, from what you’ve told us, it sounds like Suo has taken a special liking to you,” Umemiya pointedly ignored that little, tiny gap in his perfect plan. “There’s no reason he’d say no, right?”

‘Who’d be insane enough to date a cop whom they know is after them?’ Sakura wanted to retort but kept the thought to himself, because he already knew the answer, didn’t he?

[rvllybllply2014]

Hi! Oh please don't worry over how long this took, I'm sorry our replies have gotten so long that it could stretch out like this ;w; I've started a new job btw so I'm afraid I really won't have as much free time to write such long replies as much, so I'm cutting this one a bit short, I hope that's okay! :(

I have to agree we never know what someone is going through or how their feeling, so a proper warning is always for the best! Still very sweet & thoughtful of you :')

Heh now that I think about it, the Brackens might be the only house to consider "dumber than a horse" as an insult to horses! If anyone would know just how smart horses are, it would be them! They could call Blackwood horses dumb though, just because of the Blackwood influence the poor horses have had to suffer XD

Lord & lady Tully are such a cute pair~ I love how he matches her feisty nature perfectly, and insisting she become a strong swimmer too! x3 Aw and I love how realistic their argument feels? Of course they would both react this way! They both have good points & both apologizing later sets the stage for a good marriage between them uwu

Lil bitty Samwell learning from both his grandparents & playing with his cousins is just too precious~ And I love lady Tully calling lord Blackwood out on his poor parenting & the emotional distance he puts between himself & his sons! I kind of wonder how he's react if after a bit too much wine he'd end up leaning against lady Tully, who instead of pushing him away, would hold him & stroke his hair as if he were her own son? Like she does for her daughter & grandsons? With lord Blackwood unknowingly seeking a mother's touch. Only to remember the next morning how lady Tully had held & soothed him like a child?

She's such a good grandmother to Samwell & Willem, and I understand lord Blackwood's insistence on her praying to the old gods, & she's too stubborn to be honest to him about her reason to refuse. Though I do wonder if he would have understood her concerns? Oof that argument is so hard to read, I understand lord Blackwood's hurt, anger, & loss but lying to his sons and burning the letters, not even storing them away..that just horrible D= Poor lady Tully & Samwell, knowing his father hid letters from their grandmother had to hit him terribly, and to have Willen parrot their father's teachings too! At least their Tully cousins questioned them at least!

Amos practicing flattery in front of his mirror is too cute! Along with Raylon's light teasing x3 Aw and speaking of Ser Raylon Rivers, can you imagine a secret relationship between him & Samwell in the background?

Neither of them wishing to burden their brothers with it, and feeling as though they especially can't mention it after their brother's brake up? :< And Willem keeping his blade on him while trying to distance himself from it emotionally is such a good contrast to Amos locking his blade away but keeping the key to it literally next to his heart, never truly parting from it emotionally..

Davos being the one to stake Aeron through the neck, oh my poor babies :'( Imagine if Aeron had lived but still is injured, with Davos fleeing with him and both waiting out the war while Aeron recovers, until they hear of the Blackwood attack on Bracken lands? 

Ooh I love how you wrote Willem finding the blade, how Amos never truly broke the chain connecting him to Willem.. And how the rape doesn't happen right away or all at once, how it gradually builds, and how Willem deludes himself into thinking Amos wants it. That despite his desire to punish him, he doesn't wish to see himself as Amos's rapist.. That threat to have Raylon taken before both houses, that he's already "broken in" is harsh..i totally understand Amos's fury!

Aw having Benjicot sent to Riverrun is a smart idea, though I also like the idea of him coming to Harrenhall to lead the Blackwoods, and while Oscar is tense at first, he soon sees just how much like Samwell Benjicot is? Saying he understands Oscar did what he has to and doing what he can to keep his own house in line? I could see Amos meeting him & seeing so much of Samwell in him ;w;

1A) Heh poor Aeron! I feel like the spanking he gets from Davos would be less sexual and more so an actual punishment, like for when he's genuinely unfair & rude to Davos, or does something stupid & knightly, risking his life for others, Davos wouldn't let that go without making riding too painful for his Bracken for a while, I mean what better punishment is there for his Bracken than that? I imagine he'd rarely need to use anything but his hand (which he prefers, he likes how much more intimate it feels) but occasionally, if he feels it's really needed to teach a lesson, he'll use the thin leather reins from he cut from Aeron's own horse.  He can't bring himself to use a belt but that's fine, the reins are painful enough!  

1B) Ooh I saw you wrote something for  this idea, so I'll comment on it tomorrow~ I did think up another idea involving spanking though. Now this would be a purley parental spanking, but imagine before the battle of the burning mill ever takes place, Raylon Bracken would come to blows with a group of young Blackwood men and get overpowered, being brought back to Raventree Hall by them so he can be ransomed back to his lord father. He's not treated terribly, locked away in a room instead of a cell, but of course that doesn't make him any less angry! And when Willem comes to check on him himself, Raylon in his anger continues mouthing off to Willem despite his warning... And after stomping his foot and throwing something at Willem in anger, Raylon would soon find himself lying over Willem's knees, told if he was going to have a tantrum like a little child, he may as well be punished like one..

Ah sorry this reply was so much shorter than others, there's plenty I didn't comment on, but you summed up all we've discussed perfectly~ Thank you so much for discussing all these ideas with me <3 I'm all ears to hear any you have as well! =)

Congratulations on the new job. And also no worries about reply length or anything like that.

Lord and lady Tully are definitely based on my best friend’s parents.

Also think I hit all your ideas I’m sure, so sorry if I didn’t.

And now I’m definitely thinking about Samwell and Raylon Rivers. They have been added to the list.

Just non descriptive mentions of rape, look at previous ask for the more descriptive parts of the rape and trauma.

Definitely older brackenwood with some davron once again.

Lord Tully insisted that since he had to learn how to ride like a Bracken then his wife needs to learn to swim like a Tully. Yeah the fights are just them not seeing eye to eye and just needing some time to let cooler heads prevail. Once that happens they’ll apologize because they know they both had valid points. They’re also trying to raise their daughter to be level headed.

Lord Tully once asked lady Tully why she felt bad for the Blackwood horses, when they had a tourney in honor of their daughters first name day. She explained that Blackwood horses had to deal with the dumb Blackwoods, that those horses are smarter than their owners. So of course she’s going to feel bad for them. Lord Tully just shakes his head, he just goes along with it.

The one and only time both lady Tully and lord Blackwood allow themselves to seek some form of comfort in each other is in the months leading up to lady Blackwoods death. Lady Tully had just gotten Samwell settled in for the night again, and Willem was already in his bed sound asleep. Both lady Tully and lord Blackwood had too much wine, they’re both six glasses deep when lord Blackwood starts to tear up.

Normally lady Tully would just walk away, while muttering a Blackwood can just be miserable by himself, no need to drag everyone else’s mood down, it’s already sad enough in her daughter’s room. But since she’s already tipsy and already mourning her daughter she figures that lord Blackwood is also mourning his wife. So she does the only thing that she can think to do which is move to the couch, in her daughter’s room and pat the seat next to her.

Lord Blackwood at first thinks that lady Tully is making fun of him, acting like he’s a small child like Samwell or Willem. It’s only when she says that she’s here to offer comfort, as his mother in law and a fellow mourner die he finally sit next to her. She’s the one to lean into lord Blackwoods space while pulling his head towards her shoulder. It’s only after lord Blackwood has settled down on her shoulder, does she start to pet his hair while telling him that it’s okay to already mourn someone that is alive. That although he’s a Blackwood, she’s here for him and her grandsons. She just lets him know that it’s okay to let his emotions out.

He accepts the comfort until Samwell comes in from the nursery telling them that Willem is awake and crying. Lord Blackwood starts to get up until lady Tully tells him she’ll take care of Samwell and Willem, he needs to spend time with his wife. And with that she gives lord Blackwood a kiss on his temple, and grabs Samwell’s hand telling him that they’re going to go take care of Willem.

Willem just had a bad dream, which was an easy enough fix. But Samwell wouldn’t settle down again, he was too worried about his mother and father. He’d never seen his father show any emotion. So lady Tully decides to bring Samwell and Willem into their mother’s room. It’s just a short walk back to the rooms, and when they arrive lord Blackwood questions if everything’s alright?

Lady Tully tells him that his sons need their parents, she also orders lord Blackwood out of the chair that he sitting in so she can sit there. Lord Blackwood starts to protest but she tells him to get in the bed, but to leave space between him and wife so the boys can sleep between them. She’ll tell them bed time stories until they all fall asleep. Once they’re asleep she quietly leaves the room.

It isn’t until the next day that lord Blackwood realizes that he allowed himself to be treated like a child by lady Tully. He’s a little disappointed in himself but he also realizes deep down that he needed someone to take care of him, to validate his feelings while also still being an adult. Surprisingly it’s not lady Tully or Samwell who brings up the night before, it’s Willem that does. He thinks it’s just a strange dream, that he had a nightmare and then his father brought him and his brother to their mother for comfort. It’s Samwell who tells him it wasn’t a dream.

It’s when the boys are at their lessons, that lord Blackwood decides to confront lady Tully about last night. She tells him although he’s just a Blackwood and was never deserving enough for her daughter she can see how much he loves lady Blackwood; he also gave her, her adorable grandsons. Also it’s okay to feel fear and grief for the future, they’re both about to loose someone important but they’ll always be related through the kids.

The funeral happens, the fight also happens, lady Tully keeps her promise to write but lord Blackwood burns them and years pass without Samwell and Willem seeing their grandmother until lord Tully writes to tell them that she’s sick and dying. And how much she’d love to see them one last time. They’re too late, but they do stay for the funeral and do find out about how she really had kept her promise to write. Samwell believes his cousins and concludes that lord Blackwood must’ve burnt them. Willem already so close to his father in appearance and attitude decides that although these are his Tully cousins, they’re obviously lying a Bracken never keeps a promise.

After the funeral Samwell resumes his duties of watching the boundary stones, where he meets little Amos and his half brother Raylon. Raylon was sent to check up on Amos, to make sure that he wasn’t starting a fight with the Blackwoods. So he was absolutely shocked when he saw Amos and Samwell talking. Raylon doesn’t approach them just yet, he wants to see how the little interaction plays out.

It’s only when Amos sees Raylon, does he decide to approach them. Raylon tells Amos it’s time to go back to Stone Hedge, and sends him on his way. Raylon stays back long enough to thank Samwell for being so kind to his brother, he likes to act like a big boy but he’s still just a ten year old child. Samwell says it’s no issue Amos reminds him so much of his younger brother, who’s just come back from the court. Raylon doesn’t ask any questions especially when Amos comes back to ask if he’s ready? Raylon tells to go ahead he’ll catch up he needs to finish this conversation.

Once Amos had left again Raylon asks Samwell his name, and if he can send ravens to him. Samwell agrees he sees Raylon as a friend and also a connection to his grandmother that he just lost. It’s only a few weeks before Samwell and Raylon realize that they might actually like each other, more than just in a friend way. Samwell is actually the first one to broach the subject of how there might be more than friendship between them, if Raylon would allow it? Raylon is surprised but doesn’t disagree, so as their brothers fall into love with each other Raylon and Samwell also fall into love.

Raylon sends raven on Samwells eighteenth name telling him that they need to meet that night. Samwell is sorrow by he doesn’t need to be Raylon just wanted to give him his present in person. Raylon had stolen the idea of gifting his lover a blade from his brother. He’d had the blacksmith make him a dagger with a ravens head as the handle and had a horse etched into the actual blade. That way he’d always be near to protect him. Samwell is touched by the gift and vows to get Raylon something just as special for his name day.

So when it’s Raylons name day Samwell gifts him a blade with a horse head as the handle and a raven etched into the actual blade. But unlike their brothers they continue to send ravens even after they too eventually brake up. Also both men keep their blades on them. They tell themselves it’s to keep tabs on how each house is feeling towards the other, Raylon wants to be able to advise Amos to the best of his abilities. But they also send updates about their personal lives. They each write to the other that they hope their sons can be good friends just like they were. Raylon also congratulates Samwell when he’s married and has his heir Ben.

The letters only stop after Raylon was killed in a freak riding accident, he’d been thrown from his spooked horse and trampled. The very last letter Samwell writes to Raylon is how much he loves him and he’s sorry that everything happened the way it did. He also asks how could Raylon leave him so easily and early? They both still had so much life left, but now it’s just him but he’ll do his best to live for him. He burns the letter hoping that his words will reach Raylon.

Several more years pass and Samwell gets a mysterious illness that takes him before Ben is old enough to run Raven tree hall. Willem takes over as regent and plots his revenge against Amos. According to Willem it was Amos who walked away from him and their future along with his heart, just like Amos’s ancestors walked away from the old gods. He imagined the old gods felt the same type of pain and anger he feels.

So as soon as the dance happens and he hears from Davos that the Brackens have declared for Aegon, he uses it as an excuse to attack the Brackens. He’ll finally have his opportunity to show that he’s never forgiven or forgotten Amos’s betrayal.

Willem is disappointed with Davos when he finds out that he had the chance to kill a Bracken but doesn’t. He orders the Bracken that he spared to be sent to the dungeons and left to rot. Since Davos couldn’t kill him, he’ll keep him alive but barely. He orders that Davos is not allowed down there, he can’t be trusted around that Bracken. Instead Davos is ordered to watch Amos’s son Raylon.

He wants Davos to watch a Bracken get taken multiple times while also knowing that if he misbehaves then his Bracken will also suffer that fate. Davos and Raylon still get friendly, Davos also stops his uncles men from raping Raylon on his birthday. Davos manages to tell Raylon that Aeron is still alive. Raylon is equal parts relieved and horrified. He hopes that he’s not suffering the same fate as him, Davos tells him that he isn’t sure it’s been almost a month since they last saw each other.

Willem is also delusional enough to believe that every cry from Amos is a cry of pleasure. That his begging is a way of calling back to their relationship, and how he’d always cry and plead for Willem to not stop. It’s obvious that Amos wants it even if he doesn’t explicitly ask for it. He’s just trying to play hard to get, especially when it’s in the camp on the way to Harrenhal.

Davos is forced to guard Raylon while on the move to Harrenhal, he tries to get to Aeron but he’s too well guarded. The only time Davos is allowed to see Aeron is at Harrenhal when his uncle Willem is beheaded for what he did in the river lands.

Oscar still orders Raylon and Davos back to Stone Hedge, Davos is still a hostage. Aeron is ordered to stay at Harrenhal, he’s needed to help fight, Davos and Aeron can see each other after the war.

Oscar also sends a raven to Raven tree hall demanding that Ben comes to Harrenhal. He needs Ben not to fight but to show his support towards him. Once Ben arrives at Harrenhal, he tells Oscar that he understands that he did what he needed to do, especially to secure the loyalty of all the other houses. Ben shows nothing but respect towards Oscar, which in turn causes the Blackwoods to show only respect towards him.

The first meeting between Amos and Ben, Amos almost feels like a small child again. Ben reminds Amos so much of Samwell, how he listens and weighs his words/actions before he does anything. Amos knows that house Blackwood will be in capable hands once Ben is old enough to take responsibility. Amos might also hug Ben, offering comfort to him; he’s sorry for his loss of uncle and for his father years earlier.

1A): Davos is more of a punisher when it comes to spanking Aeron. Every time Aeron back talks, trying to prove to Davos that he’s capable of being a knight, it’s over his knee until his ass is red. Davos only uses the reins when Aeron falls off his horse. Aeron was trying to show off to his friends and managed to fall, and ended up scarring Davos half to death he didn’t move for almost a whole minute and he couldn’t cross over to Bracken lands to check on him. Davos tells him this spanking is for his own good, it should teach him not to show off.

2): Raylon knows that he’s being an irrational brat, especially in front of Willem but he’s pissed. It was a stupid mistake on his part, he’d followed his horse into Blackwood lands and ran right into Willem. As soon as Willem realized who had ran into him, he knew he’d get a huge ransom from Amos.

But first Willem needed to get Raylon to stop snorting and stomping his foot and the only way he knows how to is bend him over his knee and spank him. He makes Raylon count to ten, and then evaluates Raylons attitude. If Raylon is still throwing a temper tantrum, then it’s ten more smacks. It will continue until Raylon has learned his lesson.

[a-man-for-hire-and-his-archives]

Australian & New Zealand Author Showcase No 20 – Luke Arnold

February 9, 2024 by Charlie Cavendish

An idea squeezed into my head in 2023, after seeing so many of the book community gathering at conventions across the US and UK. And once my FOMO subsided, I got to thinking about who might be gathered together if we had similar conventions closer to home. Pending the master planning required to arrange a massive convention, I thought the next best thing might be to run an Australian & New Zealand author showcase. So, I sent out the call, with the only prerequisite for participating being the author had to have been born in either country or currently live there.

Its now 2024 and the Aussie / New Zealand Author Showcase is gathering steam again. Just when I thought it was over even more talent has emerged, at this rate its threatening to become year long event! I will continue to post their individual showcases at regular intervals. So hopefully you will enjoy these interactions with some very talented people. Please be sure to check out their work, sign up to their newsletters and follow them on their social media of choice. I make no apologies for any damage inflicted to your TBR’s!

Showcase No 20 finds me chatting with very talented Luke Arnold. Luke is the award-winning actor from projects such as Black Sails, Glitch and Never Tear Us Apart: The Untold Story of INXS as well as the author of The Fetch Phillips Archives; a series of fantastical detective stories which has third instalments to date.

Do you feel that being an Aussie / Kiwi (or residing there) influences your writing?

Absolutely. I didn’t leave Australia until I was in my twenties so, for better or worse, I was brought up with a distinctly Australian outlook. It’s something that can be easily mischaracterised and also requires some distance to properly understand. Being both a young and old country, we’re still finding ourselves, experiencing growing pains, and struggling with our identity.

At the same time, isolation and an abundance of natural resources means a lot of us are able to benefit from a high quality of life without working as hard as we’d need to in many other places in the world. I think a lot of Aussies know this in their bones, and it makes us nervous of “rocking the boat” for fear that we might lose the advantages we have.

This aversion to change has some embarrassing repercussions on relationships between European Australians and Australia’s First Nations People, as well as our treatment of immigrants and asylum seekers.

We have a different kind of national identity to other western countries like the USA or Britain. We’re still trying to play the underdog – the little colony down under that punches above its weight – but that persona no longer fits us the way it used to. These themes seep into all my work.

Fetch Phillips may have the outward appearance of a classic American hard-boiled hero, but he has an Australian heart. He’s someone who feels separate, a bit ignorant, reticent to become a leader, and happy to defer to those he sees as being older and more experienced. He values being humble and self-effacing, but there is safety in that identity.

It allows him to shirk responsibility and hide in the shadows, even when it should be his moment to step forward. He’s a man who didn’t grow up when he was supposed to and is struggling to come of age too late. I feel like Australia is going through the same thing.

What are some of the challenges being located so far away from the rest of the world, do have any tips for overcoming these?

When I was first trying to get published, I was lucky in that I was already working overseas and had some profile from my acting career. That’s a clear advantage I don’t take lightly. Though I’d always wanted to write, the thing that pushed me to finish my first manuscript was a desire to spend more time at home. My acting career was reaching a point where every job was in a different city, and I wanted to know that I could keep working creatively without needing to get on a plane. There are numerous advantages to being creative in Australia.

One thing that is easily overlooked is that we have more safety nets that some other countries. I really notice this when I’m in the US. It’s terrifying to have no money in America. Of course, cost of living is going up everywhere, but I still think there are more ways to find a balanced life in Australia where you can keep a roof over your head and be creative at the same time. Yes, it’s a smaller market and it can be hard to break out overseas, but if the goal is to live a creative life where you do the thing you love without panicking that someone’s going to kick you out on the street, this is one of the best places in the world to establish yourself.

Personally, I know I couldn’t have survived as a young actor long enough to build my career without the support systems that Australia offers.

3. How do you go about establishing connections in the book community? (any tips / suggestions)

I’m terrible at this. My first two novels came out in 2020 when we were all locked inside, and I’ve only met a handful of other authors in person. So of course, social media is a huge asset.

I mostly rely on creatives I’ve known for a long time. Every couple of weeks, I catch up with an author friend, Steven Lochran, I’ve known since high school, and we read each other’s stuff and discuss what we’re working on. I have a number of other people, some writers some not, who I use as beta readers when they have the time.

Finding your own colleagues that you trust and feel comfortable to share your work with is more important than trying to network your way onto tables with notable people in the industry. If you do good work, then that will happen naturally.

4. Do you have a favourite character to write? And conversely are there any of your characters that are the more of a struggle?

Fetch is fun because he still surprises me. There’s a lot of me in him, and he’s dumb enough that I can stuff my own fears and ideas into his head and have him try and make sense of things. It’s always harder when I have to write someone more intelligent – someone who might have the answers he seeks – because then I need to get ahead of my own pondering and come to some conclusions. Perhaps that’s why everyone is fallible in my world, and even those who seem to have the answers will likely fall to pieces before the end of the story.

5. So aliens finally reveal themselves to us and your work is presented to them as example of what humanity has to offer, what do you hope they will take away from this intergalactic exchange?

I hope they’d see that we’re flawed, confused, vulnerable little things, and yet we keep trying to be better. Individually and collectively. My books are noir in tone, but the point isn’t to say that we’re all broken and corrupt. It’s about celebrating the way we keep trying to be good, even in the face of terrible darkness. Even when we’ve made mistakes that should he unforgivable. Even when the pressure – both without and within – feels like it’s going to crush us. Hopefully, if they’re looking at the state of things right now, it might help them see that we’re not completely lost.

6. Tell us something about yourself that not many people know?

In this relentlessly online world, it’s hard to think of something that isn’t already out there. So I’m trying to think of something obscure. Maybe I’ll share that I play a bit of Beat Saber in VR and I’m determined get to the top of the leader board for Billie Eilish’s Happier Than Ever (normal difficulty). I’m broken the top 100 but I’m gunning for a top ten spot.

What would you say is the best thing about being an author and the worst?

The best thing is that your work is all yours. There are very few creative endeavours out there where you can give so much of your internal world to another person. While our editors and publishers are integral, it’s not the same collaboration as making a film or playing a song with a band. This is all you.

The worst thing is that your work is all yours. You can get feedback and guidance, but it’s only your name on the cover. You must write every word, alone, without anyone encouraging you or sharing the load. Every time I write a book, I’m struck by what a monumental act of faith it is. One word after the other, day after day, for months, hoping that by the end it will be at all interesting to anyone else. Some days I can’t write a text to someone without crumbling under self-doubt, but then I have to find the motivation to pump out a few thousand words of fiction.

And at the end of it all, when someone else enjoys the finished product, they will also be alone, somewhere far away, playing out the story in their own head, and you’ll be completely oblivious to how it’s making them feel. It requires a level of self-belief that is easier to summon some days more than others.

8. Any other Aussie / Kiwi creatives you’d like to give a shout out for? (let’s spread the love)

I’m embarrassed to say that my reading really dropped off over the last year, but if you want some more noir, this time with a sci-fi twist, the 36 Streets by T.R.Napper’s is a fantastic cyberpunk story set in future Vietnam.

And I finally jumped into Maria Lewis’s The Rose Daughter and am bloody loving it.

9. What’s your favourite quote or passage from one of your books?

Shit. The ones I love one day, I cringe at the next. The chapters about Fetch’s love interest, Amari, in The Last Smile in Sunder City still hold a special place for me though. They were the first pieces I felt confident sharing with other people.

There’s a part where Fetch just lists the days they spent together. As the series continues, I have to keep returning to it to make sure that if I allude to an encounter between Fetch and Amari, it’s related to one of the occasions included in that list. It’s simple, and Fetch doesn’t include much emotion or embellishment, but every time I go back to it, that tragic romantic melancholy gets back under my skin.

9. What’s your favourite quote or passage from one of your books?

Shit. The ones I love one day, I cringe at the next. The chapters about Fetch’s love interest, Amari, in The Last Smile in Sunder City still hold a special place for me though. They were the first pieces I felt confident sharing with other people.

There’s a part where Fetch just lists the days they spent together. As the series continues, I have to keep returning to it to make sure that if I allude to an encounter between Fetch and Amari, it’s related to one of the occasions included in that list. It’s simple, and Fetch doesn’t include much emotion or embellishment, but every time I go back to it, that tragic romantic melancholy gets back under my skin.

10. What can you say about your current project or what you are planning next?

The fourth instalment of The Fetch Phillips Archives is in the editing phase, and I’m really excited to get it in people’s hands. I’ve enjoyed the fact that Fetch has not yet lived up to being either a hard-boiled detective or a fantasy hero. His guilt, self-doubt, and insecurity have taken his investigations (and in some cases the plot of the books) off the rails. That was always intentional, and I found that journey interesting to write, but Book 4 is a different beast. Fetch is still a problematic guy, but he’s put himself together enough to tackle his next case with more determination. So, for the first time, we have a more focused narrative revolving around a single string of murders. There are a lot of rewarding moments in this one for readers who were hoping Fetch might eventually catch a break.

But it’s still noir, so don’t except all sunshine and roses. Just a mystery where the main character isn’t getting in his own way quite so much.

Bonus Question:  Lastly Vegemite* yes or no?

Absolutely. Thin layer with plenty of butter. It’s not something I crave when I’m away from home but get me back in the Aussie bush and I’ll be searching for a jar in no time.

* An iconic dark salty spread that (most) Australians slap on toast for breakfast (NB explanation for the rest of the world)

Author Bio:

Luke Arnold was born in Australia and has spent the last decade acting his way around the world, playing iconic roles such as Long John Silver in the Emmy-winning Black Sails, Martin Scarsden in the screen adaptation of Chris Hammer’s Scrublands, and his award-winning turn as Michael Hutchence in the INXS mini-series Never Tear Us Apart. When he isn’t performing, Luke is a screenwriter, director and novelist.

He has published three books in The Fetch Phillips Archives, with the fourth instalment on the way. He performs the audiobooks for all his works, and The Last Smile in Sunder City was nominated for Best Fantasy at the 2021 Audie Awards.

Book/ Series Links

Social Media Links

@longlukearnold on Insta, X, and TikTok

Source: FanFi Addict

[ventismacchiato]

Same anon who sent that ask that triggered that avalanche of trolling.

I just wanna say, I'm sorry for being hypocritical when I said you were rude, but I did not mean you were rude by setting boundaries (even tho that was never a topic of debate for us, I'd always respected your boundaries)

I meant rude as in, you used to be very...dry? You could say? when I sent asks but then you'd be super nice to other people who sent asks so I felt like you just had something against me.

My reason for staying anonymous isn't because I'm afraid of confronting you face-to-face, it's because I know that if I were to try and talk to you ab this personally, I'd just get the same response, and if I were to send the ask without being anonymous, the asks clowning on me would be sitting in my inbox rn.

And I get WHY people r clowning on me. I sent an ask on a topic sensitive to me thru anon and my choice of words r similar to that of an emo 14 yr old boy on reddit.

But in my defense, if Kai hasn't been rude to you personally, doesn't mean they might not have been rude to me. And I use rude due to a lack of better words.

Bottom line is: I was hurt by Kai's difference in personality when it came to my asks (which never pressured them about updates btw bc I never rlly followed their smaus much) and I took to anon to try and tell it to them, albeit in a v poor worded manner.

I'm sorry that so many of your fans seemed personally attacked by me expressing my opinion but I'm more sorry that I couldn't just talk to you about this directly.

(also b4 anyone repeats the old insult of "get a job"... I'm already training to become a CA. I have a life outside of Tumblr and I log in very rarely. It may not seem that way because of my previous ask, but Kai isn't on my mind 24/7. I just logged back in after a month and their ask were on my 'following' page and in the spur of the moment, I typed out the ask.

I assure yall I'm very content in life and (in response to one of the asks telling me to shower💀) take very good care of my hygiene (lmao???). Some of the responses I got were VERY hilarious, I'll agree, even I laughed at a few of them.

I know my previous ask gave a lot of people second-hand embarrassment (this one will too probably lmfao I can't win) and this is getting too long so I'll just say: not the intention, just wanted my feelings acknowledged.

Thank you and Goodbye.

This seems like a script to a YouTube apology video lmao.

oh my god…

DRY ≠ RUDE

so are you just upset i didn’t treat you like a friend or?? genuinely don’t understand how me ever being dry is considered rude to you, have you ever considered the asks you sent didnt give me room to respond with more excitement? i receive a lot of asks in a day so i cant always be all !!! to every single one. it’s a little over the top to accuse me of being rude when all i supposedly did was not match the same energy. you said so yourself you weren’t active and i tended to be more excited talking to my regular anons.

i didnt have anything against you, maybe a little now because this is ridiculous, but if someone online replying to you dry causes you that much hurt then maybe this app isn’t for you. we don’t need to talk about this directly because there isn’t anything to talk about.

goodbye!

[alltheficsiwant]

Watched

Watched | A Foxy 🦊 and Wolfie 🐺 One Shot

Summary: Weeks after the encounter with James Barnes or Wolfie inside your head. You embarked on a journey of discovery as you learned who he really was. During those times, he was radio silent. You don’t know why, he seemed eager that night to know you but you took it as a win. You are not by any means going to be involved with the fucking Mob Boss of New York city despite how fucking beautiful he is.

Not until one day, you felt like being watched and you know your effort to come to the police is futile. So, you decided to ask for help. Cash in a favor. After all, he owes you one right? 

Warnings: Mentions of violence, stalking and being stalked, police ignorance and possible assault. If you are triggered about this, please read with CAUTION. On a good note, this also have fluff and comic relief.

Words: 7.1 k

Ratings: 18+ Minors DNI

Author's Note: I was hoping to make this spicy but I ended up making this a bit cute on the end with lots of innuendos. BUT don't fret. I'm gearing up for a spicy encounter with these too but NOT TODAY.

This is also like kind of a sequel of one of my one shots, When Foxy meets Wolfie. Check it out through my Master List link below. :)

Disclaimer: I have not beta reader. I do apologize for my mistakes and errors in terms of grammars. Please do message me if I miss something with my warnings.

Main Masterlist

New York is always filled with people and if you live here long enough. You would be able to at least recognize the regular people. Yes, you might be a person who loses touch of her surroundings but it always has been when you are coding. Though when you are walking around the city that never sleeps. Well, you are as alert as a fucking fox.

Huh, maybe that is why you also named yourself Foxy (You already admitted it was because of your Naruto addiction but nobody has to know about that.). But since the past few weeks, you swear there is someone following you. You could feel eyes watching your every move.

You are quite secure with your identity remaining anonymous to the internet or even on the dark web. After all, you are a good hacker, you just chose not to be a hacker and instead dedicate your life to coding for robotics and tech with Shuri. You already have back up plans in case a cyber bullying would happen (highly unlikely, you hate social media.) or when your accounts or identity is suddenly stolen (that is impossible. You made that sure but still…).

You never really slipped up when you do a thorough background check even to the sketchiest people. That includes the socialites of New York specifically, James Buchanan “White Wolf” Barnes.

Now you get why Shuri named him that. That is basically his name now, the White Wolf of New York. Known for owning the business conglomerate, Barnes Incorporated. An old family business that started in a very familiar place. Brooklyn.

Before he was the King of New York, he was the Boss of Brooklyn known as the Winter Soldier. How do you know this? A magician never tells their secrets. But you found pictures of him and reports of news that involves him.

Though you can’t quite figure out when he had the metal arm. It's a story you're going to ask him if he ever calls or text. The only thing he sent you was an emoji of a wolf just so you can save his number. Then silence. Not that you are waiting for him to text back or call. He’s dangerous but he owes you a favor. So he said so.

Anyway, you had to use the very same emoji and save his name as “Wolfie” . You can’t resist. After all, all the names in your contacts are a total of six plus Wolfie now that he is in it. Shuri is a “Cub” with a picture of a tiger. T’challa is a “Panther” with a picture of a black cat. Tony Stark is “Old Man” with a metal gun (Yes you know him and wish you didn’t because he constantly annoys the hell out of you). Wanda is “Witch” which has the devil emoji (She never took offense to it. After all, your friendship with her happened in a dark place. Another story to tell on another day.) Then her brother, Pietro, whom you named “QuickSilver” with the running emoji. Of Course your Mother who you named “Ghost” with a ghost emoji because let’s face it. She was only a ghost in your life. Only there but never really present, ya know?

Since finding out about him, you have felt as if you are being watched. You are sure you made the precaution when you gathered the intel about him. Maybe he had a taboo kind of thing on his name when searched?

You only learned about his business (which screams MOB all over it) and some of his personal information.

Name: James Buchanan Barnes

Parents: George Barnes and Winnifred Barnes

Siblings: Rebecca and Sarah Barnes

Age: 31 years old.

Birthday: Unknown 

If you are asked what is the best information about him, his marital status. Single. You don’t know why you are relieved but your stomach did a flip on that or it might just have been a facade. You know, he might be secretly married and cheating— Okay, Y/N you gotta chill my girl. 

This is not a fucking novelesque life or fiction. This is real life, as real as it can be at least for you.

Besides a man like that, you can’t help but sigh as you scroll through the plethora of pictures of him in various business functions and news. He was quite an eye candy.

A best piece of candy– maybe more edible than your gummy bears but you wouldn’t admit that. You won’t betray your favorite candy that way.

Focusing on the situation at hand, since obsessing about him by searching through the world wide web and trying to know much about him. You swore someone is watching you.

Your fears were confirmed when you noticed someone new on the route you take to go to your grocers which is coincidentally your route to work too. For the past weeks, it has been busy in Wakanda Industries and Shuri has asked you to come in at the labs to work hands-on. After all, she needs extra hands that she trusts to handle the vibranium that came in from their country.

You noticed him at first, he was tall and towers over you. You never really noticed him until he stood beside you. He was broad too and you knew he could easily manhandle you. He wears a cap over his head all the time and the same black bomber jacket and straight blue jeans. He is also wearing working boots. 

The reason why he raised a red flag, because usually a few people in New York do greet you. Contrary to people’s statement, if you are a regular around the neighborhood, people greet you. Sometimes, foreigners do that and that makes them stand out but this man. Oh boy, this man scares the crap out of you.

If he greeted you properly you wouldn’t have thought about him but the way he specifically reached out to you to tap your shoulders.

“Hey” He breathed out as he smiled or smirked?? You don’t know but it floored you when you saw his eyes. It was dark and fucking dangerous. You scrambled away from him after that, not bothering to greet back. Not your finest moment and you might have thought to toughen it up. But what happened at the club did a number on you. Men these days are more fucking aggressive and why do they choose to be one when you decided to take part in the real world.

That is why you wanted to stay at your apartment and code. Coding can only hurt you because it was a mistake you made that made it wrong. People? Well, you barely cope up with your mother’s absence and mistakes. You can’t deal with them at all.

Since then, you noticed him everywhere and your mind concluded (rather cursed) that it might be James Barnes’ fault that you are now being followed.

You are so regretting giving his number or even getting involved with him. It’s not totally worth it to stare into beautiful blue eyes and have the interest of one of the most eligible bachelors in New York when you might end up in a ditch somewhere.

So, you made a logical move, and reported it to the police. Though, you knew better. Not that you are bashing the police force but the people in Brooklyn PD? Is such a fucking waste of time.

You compiled pictures and evidence. Even the times when he followed your route to the T and even came into the same coffee shop as you. You even brought Wanda into it.

The people in the police station, specifically that dumb brunette that manned the desk for this kind of reports scoffed at you.

“Miss, it just looks like he walks and goes to the stores you are in as a regular. I’m sure you just noticed him now but we would ask around,”

Ask around my ass. That already happened a week ago and they never get back to you.

Now you are walking yet again to your home and you know he is right behind you. You could hear the gum he was chewing. You had your headphones on and no music playing. Afraid that if you got caught up with the sound, you might not hear him approaching.

You just want to get home safe. It's that too much to ask? You decided to pull out your phone. You have to call someone, anyone. 

You looked at the six contacts and sighed. Shuri and T’challa are out of the question. The former is still busy in the labs when you leave the building. The latter is off in Wakanda despite your salary. International calls are expensive. You don’t want to blow him up after all despite being CEO, he is still a fucking king of the country.

Your mom is also out because that woman never answers a call even when it was from her precious daughter. Pietro is a no go, its a middle of the fucking week, he might be somewhere even out of New York. You don’t even know what he does exactly but he is out most of the time.

Wanda is ideal so without thinking you dialed her up and prayed to whoever is listening to let her answer. You continue to walk aimlessly. Trying to make the guy think you are going off somewhere but he never faltered in following your steps.

Though your hope was dashed when it went to voicemail.

“Heya! This is Wanda, if I haven’t answered in the third ring. It means I’m busy, leave me a message and I’ll get back to you babes,”

“Wands, I kinda need you right now. Someone is following me,” You whispered to your phone. You tried to discreetly look back and you knew you shouldn’t have done that because now the man is staring straight ahead at you. His almost black irises turned darker as he grinned at you. He looks so damn familiar but you can’t quite place where you last saw him. You decided that it doesn’t matter now. You are going to die anyway.

You cursed. You put the phone down and looked down at your contacts. Great, being the best hacker and a fucking IT genius. Yet you are here scrambling to do something that is supposed to be logical.

Fuck life, this is a dangerous situation and you cannot deflect or even joke about it. This isn’t about numbers or codes anymore or having the fucking problem how the hell do you write a code that could make a fucking robot flex it’s arms.

You stared down at the last number.

Wolfie 🐺

Fuck it. You pressed the call button. You could have texted but hey, your life is at stake.

The first ring didn’t even finish when it was answered.

“You finally—”

“Listen to me,” You cut him off his sultry greeting with a hissed as you tried to not be too noisy. You are speedwalking now and from your last glance he is matching your speed. “I-I need to cash in t-that favor now,”

Silence only met you as you walked through the streets of New York. You don’t even know where you are going anymore.

“Cash in?” He said, his voice turning serious. You started to breathe harder as you took a turn. Not noticing that you have entered the park just a few blocks away from Winter.

“Y-yes, ummm– It's not ideal but I am in the same situation as before,”

This time you heard a growl. “Someone is trying to assault you?” 

You can’t help the chill that ran down your spine when he said that question. The coldness from it felt like seeping through the phone and to you.

“Might be the end of it if he caught up to me,” You panted as you tried to weave yourself through the people. Panic started to settle on your veins. You cannot hide anymore that you are trying to run away from him.

“You’re being chased?” You heard him shuffling on the end of the line. If you have focused, you could hear him clicking on something then a car door closing but you’re not. You are too focused on losing the man.

You chance another glance and saw him quite obviously chasing after you, making you curse.

“Yes,” You told him in panic as you turned back around only to slam into a girl. You nearly let your phone go but you held on tight to it as you apologized furiously to her. You could hear James’ muffled voice over the phone as you looked behind to see the guy had caught up to you.

“I’m sorry but I got to go,” You only said to the girl and started to walk away. You held your phone back to your ear.

“---Foxy, you better speak to me now. Where the hell are you?” 

“I’m here, I uhh–” You looked around as you saw the place. “At the park, four blocks away from Winter.”

“Okay, you know about Sarah’s Bake Shop?” James' voice said to you. He was eerily calm and quiet now. Momentarily you forgot you are on the phone too caught up by looking over your shoulder and where you are going. “Foxy, talk to me baby. Don’t go quiet on me,”

“S-sorry,” You muttered and confirmed that you knew about the bake shop. You remember opening a couple of years ago. You never really had a chance to visit since bread isn’t something you consume on a daily basis but Wanda and Pietro are regulars despite living in Manhattan. You looked around and saw the exit to the park. “It’s the artisan bakery around the corner,”

You took a turn, your feet already walking you towards the Bakery.

“Good, go there and come up to the counter. You will see a brunette with the same eyes as mine. Tell her Bucky sent you and you need to be kept safe,” James explained.

“Bucky?” You can’t help but snort at that name. It wasn’t an unusual name per se but it reminded you of a certain man back in college in Utah. His name was Buckett with a double “t”. He always emphasized that and he was a total tool bag to say the least. He tried to hit on you and you can never forget the words he uttered to you the first time. Earning him a big ole slap. Your hand had to be bandaged up and you were restricted to move it for a week making you miss a coding class. (This is the reason why you also started your obsession with Naruto. You can’t really do anything but watch TV when you badly want to code instead.)

“I heard quiet girls are freaky. You might want to show me if it's, baby girl?”

You had to do it though and you did not regret that slap. He was such an extraordinary human being. Though last time you heard, he was locked up. Figures.

You know it's not the time to be amused by that but you can’t help it. You are scared out of your mind and you are uncomfortable with all the human interaction you had to do for the past few weeks. This is what you result into when you are in that state. 

“Now is not the time baby, just do as I say,” James grunted as he heard the quiet giggles now that you made your way over the bakery.

“That name reminded me of a douche bag in college,” you told him, your filter off now as you made it through the crowd. Though your voice still sounded panicked.

“Tell me all about him later, doll but I need you in the bakery now okay?” James coaxed you and that made you glanced back to see the man’s eyes are now dark. A sneer on his face as he neared you.

You cursed. “He’s nearing me,”

“Do you see the bakery?”

You frantically looked around and once you saw the distinct pastel blue sign and “Sarah’s Bakery Shop” on the front. You sprinted, willing your short legs to please not fail you this time. You could hear him running after you now, and you didn’t even look at the road that you were crossing. Cars started to blast their horns but you didn’t care.

Your eyes tunneled towards the door and luckily a man was coming out of the shop and opened the door. Just in time for you to dash past him. The bakery was a bit filled despite it being 7PM at night. A few people were dining there and once you crashed in they all looked at you shocked.

“Excuse me Miss?” You looked towards the voice and then you were struck dumb thinking you are seeing James but in his place was a woman a bit taller than you. She is wearing a long sleeved white blouse and she is looking at you weirdly. Though what caught your eyes is the electric blues she sported. Almost the same ones as James but he was more beautiful. Sorry to say or is it just biased thinking?

You looked out to see the man ready to cross the street so you blurted out the words that James gave you.

“Bucky sent me here and to tell you to keep me safe,” you told her in a rush. Your eyes wide as you clutched the phone to your chest. Momentarily forgotten that James is on the other side of the phone. The woman looked at you for a moment and then followed your vision to where you turned. She must have seen the man because the next thing you know she was already shielding you from him as he entered the bakery.

It suddenly felt like the air in the shop was sucked out. The chatter quieted down as the man entered the shop. His eyes fixed on you.

“There you are babe,” The man suddenly exclaimed as he looked towards you. You remain frozen to where you stand but the woman behind the counter stepped right where he won’t be able to see you.

“Do you know him?” The woman only asked as she stared at him down.

“No,” You outright told her and you tried not to flinch as the man sneered for a moment before replacing it with his maniacal smile.

“Come on babe, don’t be like that. I already said I’m sorry to you, come on lets just—”

“Don’t touch me!” You exclaimed as he reached out over the woman. The woman, despite her fearless way of shielding you, wasn’t strong enough to deflect his reach. He was able to hold on to your forearm but you managed to twist it out of his grip. The woman then pulled you away from the man.

“That is not nice, babe. Don’t pretend you don’t know me. I have been walking with you for the past weeks,” He mused. You only glared at him as you held your forearm. He tried to reach out for you but this time the woman slapped his hand making him glare at her.

“I don’t even know you, you freak.” You told him as you leaned towards the woman who has her arms around you now. “You were stalking me,” you spat out.

“I was just trying to protect you babe.”

“Don’t call me that, i’m not your babe,”

“Of course you are,” He snorted and then reached out again. 

“Don’t you dare touch her,” The woman threatened as he slapped his hand away. “She is not your babe. She is my brother’s girl,”

The man growled at that. “She is nobody's but mine and I can do anything to her,” he spat back as he reached out again. You tried to step back and produce space between you and the man but to no avail, he was big enough to be able to reach for your wrist this time.

“Oh, my brother would be so pissed off if he learns that you are touching his girl,” The woman threatened as he finally closed his hands on your wrist. When the words finally processed, you froze, which was a wrong decision because the man now has easily pulled you to him but your mind is elsewhere.

Brother?

“Oh yeah, what is he going to do—”

“You will be dead,” A voice interrupted. You knew that voice and the next thing you know you are in his arms this time. You look to see him staring at the man down who glared back at him.

“Who the hell are you? Give back my girl—”

James only laughed at that while your eyes suddenly caught a quiet murmur. The patrons were being escorted out by two men. One of them is Sam who offered a nod to you while the other is a tall blonde man. He has piercing blue eyes but his eyes are kind despite the stoic expression on his face.

Though the moment he saw you looking, he offered only a smile as he continued his job. Soon the shop was empty and the window blinds were closed.

James still has you in his arms and the woman is now standing alongside Sam and the blonde man. The man suddenly realized he was outnumbered.

“Just give her back to me. She has been making trouble—”

“Buddy, how many times am I going to tell you that she is not your girl?” James mused as he pulled you closer. You only leaned against him, quite shocked at yourself on how much you let him touch you. Again, your filter is off and you are in a dangerous situation. You might have been uncomfortable with human touch but if it comes from James it wasn’t entirely uncomfortable.

You remember the way he touched your face that night and— now is not the time,

“Fuck it, she’s not worth it. I could find a different whore—”

The only warning all of you had was the sound of his vibranium arm’s plates clicking and the next thing you know. The man was flying until he hit a wall and you swore you heard a crack after. You jumped and gasped at that. 

James momentarily let you go and in his place came the woman who took your trembling figure in her arms. Though your eyes remained fixed on James who menacingly stepped towards the man whose eyes are half-lidded. Without any more words, you heard his metal arm wired to life, suddenly you are momentarily distracted by that as it reminded you about the code you are still working on to help with that. But then before you can finish that thought, the man cried out as you heard another crack.

You looked back at James but before you can even see what happened to the man. Sam and the blonde man blocked your view. Then you are back in James’ arms.

You tried to look again but you felt a hand behind your head turning you gently towards him.

“Don’t look,” is all he murmured as you nodded. You buried your face on his chest, knowing you wouldn’t like what you are going to see anyway. Your grip on your phone loosened a bit and then you completely let it go as you felt his vibranium arm wrapping itself around you.

“I got you Foxy. You’re safe now,” You didn’t know you need to hear those words. You sagged against him. The adrenaline and the rush of trying to save yourself seeped out to you. Your knees buckled and you felt James leaning down to take you in his arms. Your phone fell down on your grip and you might have winced when you heard the crack but you don’t care. You're safe.

You felt James move somewhere and the next thing you know he is seated in one of the booths with you on his lap. Your head now leaned against his shoulder as his vibranium secured you on his lap while his flesh one caressed the back of your head.

You stayed there trying to get your thoughts and your body to cooperate. In another situation, you might have quipped something inappropriate or joked about it. A defense mechanism of yours when things are overwhelming but right now. You seek the comfort you thought you didn’t need to the most unlikely person ever.

As you stayed quiet, you heard James murmuring orders to the two men. While the woman, who you later on will know as Sarah Barnes had busied herself in the kitchen. She even pulled out a cup of water and a cup of coffee towards the both of you. Your broken phone also laid on the table. 

But you didn’t move and you remained in James’s arms. James continues to caress you and continue to whisper sweet nothings. Assuring you that you are safe and no one is going to touch as long as he is around.

You don’t know how long you and he stayed there but eventually someone has to break the silence. James decided it's going to be him.

“We should really stop seeing each other like this,” James said and that finally broke it as you can’t help but snort.

“It's your fault,” you can’t help but say as you leaned back to look up at him. His electro blue eyes staring down at you amused.

“My fault?” He asked his eyes now, swimming in amusement.

You nodded. “I got involved with you and now I am in my quota for dangerous situations,”

James chuckled at that as he reached up to you and cupped your cheek. Your brows scrunched at the deja vu feeling this situation is giving you.

“I guess I owe you one again?” James asked as he looked at you.

You huffed as you looked away making your cheeks squish against his hand making you pout. James must have found your huffing amusing because you heard him chuckle again.

“What is it? You don’t like me owing you?” He asked as he tried to catch your eyes but you continued to dodge him as you huffed.

You felt like this is going to be the cycle between the two of you and you wanted not to do anything with him. Even if he is the most beautiful man and you wanted to do things to him that you rather don’t want to think about. You don’t have your filter on. (You will never have it back. Let’s face it.)

“I’d rather not have anything to deal with you,” You grumbled but it only earned you a chuckle from the man himself.

“Oh Foxy, do you think I would be able to let you go now?”

“Well, you did a good job ignoring me for the past few weeks,” you blurted out and then your eyes widened at what you just said. You looked back at him to see him looking at you taken aback before it morphed into mischief. You huffed again.

“You are waiting for me to call you?” James asked amused.

“No!” You exclaimed and when you tried to move away. You noticed that you are still on his lap. You immediately move to stand up. James again, let you not make any move as you stared back at him incredulously.

“I thought you don’t want to deal with socialites like me?”

“Shut up,” You quipped not knowing what comeback you will give him. Shit shit shit. You just outed that you are thinking about him. Soon he would discover you were stalking him through the world wide web. Oh gosh Y/N, you really did it this time. You’re dead. Completely dead.

“I was out of the country,” James suddenly said, making you look at him in confusion. He turned his body so he is still facing you. He remained seated in the booth as he laid both of his hands on his thighs. You just noticed his outfit now. He was in a casual black sweater paired with black jeans and doc martens. An outfit that usually is fit for traveling.

“I was in Russia and then Wakanda for the past months doing…” he trailed off as if trying to find the right words.

“Mob business” you completed it for him and then your eyes widened again. Oh shit. 

James then looked at you before he smirked. “Yes,” he didn’t even deny it as your eyes widened more. “I’ve been busy and I wasn’t able to hold on to my phone until today. I just landed when you called me,”

You bit your lip at that. He came all the way here? Then your eyebrows scrunched together. 

“How come you came here so fast? New York is like a labyrinth of traffic,”

“I came here through my building. T’challa let me use one of their Quinjets.” He explained and you nodded now. Not knowing what to say anymore.

“So you’ve been busy huh? What more did you find about me doll?” James asked and your eyes widened at that.

“I am not inclined to answer that question,” You decided to tell him. To hell with it, you won’t snitch on yourself.

James chuckled at that as he looked at you though his face grew sober as his eyes trailed down towards your arms. You followed his gaze and saw the mark that the man left on it. Suddenly, you felt your knees become jello as the events of today crashed to you again.

“How long is he following you around?” James asked quietly as you shakily looked up at him. 

“A few weeks now,” You told him and you watched as he clenched his jaw. “I-I tried to go to the police but—”

“They didn’t do anything about it?” He sharply asked and you shook your head. You heard him curse before he took a deep breath, calming himself down. “Well, I guess it's a good thing I ended it before it became too much,”

You looked up at him and then your eyes trained towards the wall where the man was slumped. You didn’t hear James stand up but the next thing you know, he was right in front of you again. Blocking your view and making you look at him.

“Hey Foxy,” He murmured quietly as he hovered his arms over your face. His eyes asking for permission. You can’t help but nod. He kept doing that, even on the first encounter. He was always asking you before he touched you. You liked that.

Once he held your face, one flesh and one metal, he stared at you for a while. His eyes roaming around your face making you self conscious. You scrunch your nose and were about to remove your face from his hands. This time his hold was gentle yet firm.

“I’m sorry for not reaching out to you for the past weeks. I really wanted to know about you, Foxy.”

You only stared back at him. Oddly, he sounded sincere.

“I think it's also bad that I get to see you when you are in danger,” James added as he smirked at you. You huffed at that. 

You pouted. “Well, you are trouble personified as much as I know,” 

James chuckled. “You attract trouble, baby.” He answered back and you looked at him offended.

“I do not! I just have poor luck,” You mumbled but James just looked at you with amusement.

“Then, I’ll be your lucky charm.” James declared as you raised a brow at him in questions. He gently ran his thumbs over your cheekbones as he looked down at you with a small smile. 

“I didn’t know people like you can be this cheesy,” You told him.

“It's a hidden talent,” James joked and you have to stop yourself from laughing. Instead you just ballooned your cheeks. James just finds it amusing but then his face turns serious. “But I’m serious Foxy. Whether you owe me or I owe you one. When you run into something bad, you call me okay?”

You looked at him for a moment. “Why are you so adamant on knowing about me?” You questioned instead. Your stand of having nothing to do is still up but you are curious about his fascination with you.

James then thought about it with a playfully expression on his face before he looked back down at you. He ran his tongue on his bottom lip before he spoke.

“You intrigue me Foxy,” James said and you were about to protest that it was such a vague reason when he added. “Trust me, I don’t get intrigued or amused easily.”

You blinked at that. Intrigued? No one really told me that before. 

“Bucky?” You and James turned around at the mention of the name. You saw the same woman before, her eyes the same as James trained on his hand which was holding your face. An amused expression fixed on her face. Though the both of you didn’t make a move as you both looked at her expectantly.

Then something clicked in you. Bucky.

You snorted suddenly, the memories of a man named Buckett coming back to you as you looked at James. Then it clicked.

“...You will see a brunette with the same eyes as mine. Tell her Bucky sent you and you need to be kept safe”

“She is not your babe. She is my brother’s girl,”

Bucky = Brother = James

“You’re Bucky,” You concluded out loud and James looked down at you amused. Then you heard a giggle to look back at the woman. Then your eyes widened.

Sarah’s Baker Shop 

Siblings: Rebecca and Sarah Barnes

“Holy shit, your his sister Sarah,” You mumbled and the woman, Sarah nodded. She turned to Ja—-Bucky with a smirk.

“She’s smart. Different from the girls that flocked around you Buck,” She retorted towards her brothers. James rolled his eyes at her before letting go of your face but then you snorted and couldn't help the giggles that came out of you.

Now two identical blue eyes looked down at you amused yet confused.

“Why are you laughing Foxy?”

“Bucky? Seriously Wolfie?” You can’t help but let the nickname you have for him slip out as you continue to giggle. “Where the hell Bucky came from?”

“He hated Buchanan and he hated being called James before,” Sarah mused as she caught on to what was funny to you. She looked at Bucky now with a small smile. “He insisted everybody call him Bucky. Steve joked about that sounding so much like Bucket–”

“Oh gosh, Buckett. The college douche bag,” you exclaimed and now you are full on laughing. Sarah snickered at you while James just sighed.

“Glad I could make you laugh Foxy,” James grumbled and that just made you laugh more. It was a while before you had your laugh under control. Then you sobered up as you looked back at Sarah remembering how much she tried to protect you before.

“Thank you,” you blurted out as you looked at her. Sarah then offered a small smile. “You didn’t know me yet you protected me,”

Sarah then glanced at Bucky before looking back at you. “Any friends of  Bucky are friends of mine too or is there something going on?” She mused.

Your eyes widened at what she was implying. “Umm– we-we are not– something! We- we are–”

“We are not yet something,” James slyly replied as you looked at him now with wide eyes as he looked back at you. “But we are friends now,”

“I said no such thing!” You exclaimed as you tried to take a step back away from him. “Besides you are one of our clients in my work place and I do not—”

“I am friends with Shuri,” he cut you off again as he looked at you with a tilt of his head. “Why can’t I be friends with you?”

You opened your mouth but honestly, you don’t even know why he can’t. Yes he might be involved with the mob but honestly, you just blamed him for the situation you are in. It was honestly a coincidence that you had a stalker and you happen to know one of the dangerous men of New York. Maybe because you knew once you let him in your life. You would be dealing with shit you never dealt with before and you knew that you wouldn’t be able to walk away. As one of the articles says about him; “James Barnes, the most charming CEO over 30’s”. Of course, you won’t admit that. Over your dead tiny body. So you say your default reason.

“You’re dangerous,” 

James chuckled as a sense of dejavu washed over you. “I told you, you are the safest with me,”

You looked at him for a moment and sighed. “I will never be able to get rid of you now huh?”

James then turned serious as he looked at you. “You never really told me you want me out of your life.”

“I did,” you mused as you looked at him but James shook his head. 

“You have to mean it, Y/N.” You can’t help but blush at the way he said your name. “And when you do, I would know.”

You continue to stare at him. For once, you are lost at what to say back to him. You know your resolve is crumbling. Who are you even kidding anymore?

“Maybe it is best if Y/N take her rest,” Sarah interrupted as you both turned to her. Your eyes widened when you realized you weren’t able to introduce yourself properly.

“Oh right, I forgot. My name is Y/N Y/LN,” You offered a smile at her. Sarah beamed back at you.

“Nice to meet you Y/N. I’m Sarah Jane Barnes, Bucky’s youngest sister.” She introduced herself. “Well, as much as I want to know more about you and how you met my pain in the ass big bad brother. It's best that he takes out for a bite first before ensuring you are safe home?”

She said that as if she was talking to you but one she mentioned James, her gaze turned to him as she finished speaking.

“I’ll make sure she’s eaten and home safe,” 

“Good, see you Y/N.”

After that, James— rather Bucky now in your head. Escorted you to the car he drove here which was parked right outside the shop. Sam had greeted you and then you were introduced to the tall man.

“This is Steve—”

“Oh the one who joked about your nickname sounding like Bucket,” you blurted out and then blushed at that. Steve had looked down at you amused. His stoic expression is long gone.

“You are really cute,” He commented, making you blush deeper and lean more towards Bucky who glared at him.

“Stop flirting with her dumb ass.” Bucky said before he led you towards the car. When you were situated, he turned to instruct them on helping Sarah up. You didn’t know what they talked about but the next thing you know Bucky is inside the car.

“Will you be taking me home now?” You asked without thinking about your question before you even realized the implication of it. It was too late as Bucky turned to you with a dark expression and smirk.

“I would love to take you home now Foxy,” He flirted and your eyes widened at that.

“No! That is not what I meant— I meant if you are taking me back to my home,” You emphasized but Bucky only laughed at you as he put the car on drive.

“I promised SJ I would be feeding you and then taking you home,” He said as he spared you a glance before turning back to the road. “Whichever home you prefer,” He teased and you huffed at him.

“You don’t have to–”

“I want to,” Bucky suddenly turned serious as he gave you another glance. “I might have promised my sister but that is what I’m going to do anyway,”

“If you are going to feed me, I want pizza.” You said and then you hurriedly added. “But I don’t want high end things. I had too much stress today. I want the pizza at Hal’s the little store near Wakanda,”

If he wants to know you, you both do it on your terms. If he is uncomfortable, then he’s not worthy to be your friend—

“Sounds good.” He then pulled out his phone and handed it to you. The same phone he handed me before. “Why don’t you call ahead and order in advance?”

You looked at the phone and then him. “Are you seriously handing me your phone right now?”

Bucky raised a brow as he glanced at you. His hand remained, one hand on the wheel and the other giving his phone to you.

“Ugh yes,”

“What if your mob business got–”

“This is my personal phone,” He explained and then he lifted it again as an offering. You took it and shrugged but then you have another idea. You are still not that comfortable with this so you decided to be a little shit that you are.

“I’m going to order a whole pizza. Half and half. Are you okay with pineapples, olives and mushrooms?” You asked as you looked at him. Then he gave you quite the opposite of what you expect. 

“With extra cheese?” He asked and you blinked at him.

“Ugh, yes.” You can only answer.

“Sounds good.” He only said and then you just continued to stare at him. Bucky must have noticed before he chuckled. “What do you expect me to say no and force you to be taken to a high end restaurant just like in fiction?”

Honestly? “Yes.”

Bucky laughed at that and you can’t help but admire it. “I’m not going to force anything on you Foxy,” He then looked at you with a mischievous look before looking back at the road. “Besides, the only thing I exert force on is in my work and in bed,”

You can’t help your first instinct and lightly hit him on the shoulder earning a laugh from Bucky.

“Stop with innuendos!” You exclaimed and Bucky laughed.

“Can’t help it, Foxy. I like it when I can make you blush,” He said and then made you tuck in to yourself.

“Gosh, now I'm starting to see how you are going to be in the future,” You grumbled and Bucky only smirked at you.

“I’m just starting, Foxy. I have a lot things in store for you,”

Again, what have you got yourself into Y/N?

[polarisbibliotheque]

Nemesis (Vergil x Reader) - Chapter 3

Nemesis

Pairing: Vergil x Reader

Summary: The Abyss opening is a rare occurrence. In his youth, Vergil wanted to harness its power, but never thought he would meet his greatest adversary along the way. Years later, the Abyss is once again open and that might call for some rather unlikely alliances.

Chapter 1 (Prologue) | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 (you are here!)

Age restriction: 18+ - there’s a lot of blood, violence, cursing and all those things people want to forbid younger audiences of seeing. Also, cosmic horror is a thing here. Procceed with caution.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Deals with trickster entities and death omens :)

Special Thanks and Credits: @furyeclipse is the wonderful creator of a very main character in all this plot, Ovid - the trickster being the reader will be dealing with and who will have many interactions with the crew. Fury helped me to write some of Ovid's key moments, their realm, their appearance and their mannerisms - after all, it was all Fury's creation and I'm just honored to be able to share such a rich character and worldbuilding!

Thank you so so much for allowing me to add your character to Nemesis and for being such a wonderful friend!

You can check Fury's work on their Ao3, which you can find here: FuryEclipse Ao3

Strongly suggest you guys reading Devoid of Purpose, where you can understand Ovid better ;)

Author's Notes: It took me a little while for this one and I do apologize, but my health isn't the best currently. I will have to go through some medical exams in the upcoming weeks and I'll start taking some meds, so I might have some delays/disappearances from writing. But I will ALWAYS come back to post Nemesis!!

This was a very fun chapter to write. I do enjoy Ovid a lot and their interactions with the reader are 10/10 based on knowledge seeking. Get ready for fighting (and annoying) Vergil on the next chapter, though ;)

Chapter 3

The city reeked of blood and destruction.

After so many years from your city’s incident, you never expected your memories to feel so alive. But there they were, haunting every corner of a new disaster – ghosts of a past you longed to forget, back to cling to your slivers of sanity like demons burying their claws in human flesh.

That city had fallen into chaos. People were crying, screaming, running around in despair looking for solace – for something or someone to save them from whatever the Abyss had attracted.

They first looked at you with hope and admiration – only to change to fear and horror when they realized that, even if your victims were demons, you were a killer after all.

And a very skilled one. Behind your footsteps, no demons were allowed. To fall into your protection meant to be safe; to find salvation amidst all that hell. Even if people feared you and your bloodstained hands, they were grateful for being their only hope of survival.

“Is everyone out of the city already?” You cleaned the blood that spilled on your face while walking towards the captain of the city’s guard, in charge of the evacuation.

Even the soldiers looked at you with a certain unease in their eyes. No one would want to get into a fight against you.

“The last two safe buses are just ready to go.” The captain, though, was the only one able to look into your eyes without hesitation. He could use a soldier like you. “Next one is for me, my crew, and you, y/n.”

“Thank you, but I’m not going with you.”

Your comment sent a wave of whispers among the soldiers. Before the captain could answer, you explained yourself.

“The Abyss is far more dangerous than we know. Someone has to stay behind and make sure it’s going to close without anything going in or coming out.”

Of course, you’d never say it was the only place you would certainly find the blue coated devil who almost killed you back in your city. You were certain he would be there but, so far, no blue demons crossed your view.

And you were especially aware of it.

“Well. You have a good point there. Just make sure to come back alive, alright?”

“Will do. I have to help a friend with laundry next week.”

No one understood your comment, but they also wouldn’t ask. You swinged your silver blade to get it rid of the blood and paced back into the city.

It was time to meet an old enemy.

*

As your steps echoed through the streets of the abandoned city, you had this uncomfortable feeling at the base of your stomach. It seemed like eyes were fixed on the back of your head and hands rested heavily on your shoulders.

But no one walked those streets except you.

Keeping your silver sword in hand, you didn’t stray from your path. The Abyss was close: you had learned to discern between how demons and the Abyss felt like as you started working as a devil hunter. While demons were certainly unnerving, the Abyss had something of… Uncertain. A sense of unknown – and the knowledge of what that was could be worse than fatal; probably better left in the realms of shadows.

But there was a… Third energy. Something else you couldn’t quite pinpoint its origin. It was unnerving, yes, but it felt… Old. Older than whatever demons you could’ve met.

Your steps approached an ancient building – probably a public school; you couldn’t exactly tell what it was. And you would’ve remained focused on your main objective if you hadn’t glimpsed inside the building.

A pair of eyes observed you from the shadows. It stared at you before disappearing deeper into the darkness, but you could swear those eyes were yours.

“What gives…?” You murmured to yourself, barely feeling your feet unconsciously following those eyes, as you crossed the derelict entrance.

You should be going towards the Abyss. That was the reason why you were there, it was the main purpose of you being hired that day. But… How come you saw a being with your eyes inside that building? As you entered the main hall, you found nothing but a reception desk and paper tossed around, ripped and burnt as people fled. Observing into the darkness, that place was a library.

Infinite rows of old mahogany seemed to go deep inside the shadows – until your eyes could barely make out any shapes. It was all probably in your head: dealing with demons made one prone to hallucinations, sooner or later.

As you prepared your feet to leave, you heard a scratchy metallic noise – faint, in the distance, but still there. Turning around, you stared into the shadow and you could swear your eyes picked up something moving.

You couldn’t tell what it was – if it was a demon, a creature or a human. But it was someone. If it was a human, it needed your help. If it was a demon, it deserved to die.

You decided to let your steps follow the sound.

Upon entering the rows of destroyed bookcases and rotting books, you kept on following that light metallic noise – like gentle knifes scratching at the floor, wood or any surface it could touch. Your eyes caught glimpses of a shadow, but never its full form. You turned your head around, your feet followed with precision – your curiosity leading you further and further into the labyrinth of old pages and decaying wood.

When you reached what it seemed to be the center – a round open space, surrounded by aisles and aisles of mahogany bookcases – your white rabbit seemed to have disappeared. There was no other indication of which path you should follow to find it, and you couldn’t deny you were certainly lost inside the library.

Your steps circled the room, slowly, trying to find your way out or the creature leading you further inside. Perhaps… Perhaps it was him. The devil who defeated you that fateful day, the one you longed to rematch. Maybe it was his way of leading you into a trap – and, if it was, you would be ready. Holding your silver sword with certainty, you wouldn’t be caught by surprise.

That library certainly looked like a proper place to defeat him and hold your sword to his neck, while one of your feet held his chest down on the floor, keeping him in his place. No demon was superior to a human, and you would prove him that.

The metallic tapping brought you back from your thoughts, dissipating the image of you finally subduing the blue coated demon. Turning around, you found your eyes again at the end of a long, dark aisle. With resolute steps, you plunged into the darkness, without flinching or thinking twice.

The eyes disappeared as soon as you started to follow them – but, upon reaching the end of the aisle, you found a great wooden door with an old plaque by its side. Cleaning the dust to see it better, you read what it was: “Forbidden Session – Entry allowed only upon authorization”.

Indeed, the door had an old black iron lock, probably requiring an iron key to enter. You tried to force it open a few times, but it was to no avail. With a deep, slightly frustrated sigh, you turned around to look for a way to open it – but your search wasn’t needed: as soon as you rotated on your feet, you found a great, heavy iron key waiting for you in one of the shelves filled with dust.

It didn’t escape your eyes the key was clean despite how abandoned the place looked.

Without questioning, you took it on your hands and finally opened the heavy door. Its hinges complained as you pushed it open and your steps entered the room.

Your heart slightly jumped inside your chest for a couple of quick seconds. It seemed like your eyes got used to the darkness, but soon you realized that session of the library was lit in a procession of warm candles that seemed to never really burn out. The door behind you was closed, and the reception desk had an old, heavy guestbook ominously waiting for you between two candles lit with purple flames.

You didn’t let go of your weapons. Strengthening your grip around the silver, you walked over the guestbook – finally noticing your steps weren’t the only sound to be heard: a faint, albeit calm, piano song filled the air. You didn’t know where it came from, but it was weirdly… Soothing.

“Traveler from afar, if you wish to drink upon the knowledge of forbidden and forgotten books, you must let go of your protections and sign your name. Only then, the library will welcome you among its pages and endless words. Beware, though, not to get lost in other worlds: some writings are tricky and the search for knowledge might claim your soul.”

Those were the words written on a blank, old page of the book waiting for you at the reception. Let go of protections and sign your name. Both conditions were tricky and asked too much of you: the protections were your weapons, and your name could be used in ancient spells for many purposes. The book asked you to be completely vulnerable and you weren’t comfortable with that.

“Hmmm…” You wiggled your nose while thinking, murmuring to yourself. That presence remained around you, but there was no reason to believe someone was really watching you. And, if there was indeed a being following you, they could at least try to answer any questions. “I wonder if this place has information about the Abyss…”

As you muttered, something seemed to fall in the inner part of the round reception desk. There was no one to receive you, so you took the liberty to inspect what made that noise. You found another book on the floor – this time bigger, older, and seemingly infinite: clearly a product of magic. There were no doubts you had crossed into another realm and, even if you didn’t know how to go back, your curiosity was bigger than your fear.

Taking the leather cover into your hands, you leaned the book in one of your arms, opening it with your free hand. Your eyebrows raised in delight as you realized you were staring into a library Index: all books and their subjects were noted down in beautifully crafted calligraphy, with a note on their location inside the library.

You turned page after page in what it seemed like an endless passing of time – as if Time itself didn’t exist in that wonderful realm of books and knowledge you had found yourself into. That presence seemed to keep watching you; intently, carefully… Curiously. As curious as your eyes running on the pages searching for more knowledge on the Abyss.

“Aha…” You finally found what you were looking for. The Abyss and other Ancient Realms – that was the only title on that theme. It was in the Restricted Session, and that could only indicate you would have a price to pay for that knowledge. “Alright. Let’s find the Restricted Session then.”

As you murmured those words, a path of purple flames lit the way to said Restricted Session. You wouldn’t have to worry about becoming trapped or never finding your way back: the library would show where the knowledge you needed was – your will would have to bring you back.

With a deep breath, you let go of your silver sword, leaning it on the reception desk. You placed your guns by the side of the guestbook, taking an inking pen and, after dipping it in the deep purple ink, you signed your name in the old, yellowish pages.

You were completely vulnerable, but you could use your arcane knowledge to your advantage. You had tested it before in several situations: the blood spell you did on your silver sword was very efficient in bringing it back to you in dire need. The blood inside it felt the calling of the blood in your veins, it didn’t matter the distance. It could take some time, but your trusted sword would be there to protect you – and that gave you some peace of mind.

The Restricted Session was less ominous than you thought it would look like. Behind the black iron bars of the gate that kept curious hands at bay, lied an obsidian box that could keep just one book inside, framed by the light of many sparkling purple candleflames.

“You who search the oldest of secrets must leave something in return.”

An old, golden altar stood beside the bars of the Restricted Session, keeping you between the knowledge of the Abyss. It was at your hand’s reach, so close and yet, so far away. You wanted it with your whole heart, but that altar was a warning and a deal: you had to sacrifice something if you wanted to learn something new.

No small offering would be enough for that book – no, it had to be a big one. Something beloved, something cherished. Something your heart would break to part.

Your guardian angel’s deep blue shawl.

You touched the soft fabric, your heart jumping inside your chest. Of everything you were willing to part of, that was your most prized belonging. It was the only thing that reminded you of some protection, of some gentleness. You didn’t want to let go – you wanted to keep the memory of your guardian angel close to your heart forever.

But you could never attain the knowledge you needed without making sacrifices.

You closed your eyes, taking a deep and slow breath. It was stupid to cry over a piece of fabric, so you wouldn’t – even if your heart wanted to weep. Unwrapping it from your neck, you once again opened your eyes, carefully placing your beloved shawl in the ancient golden altar. The purple flames reflected a beautiful dance in the only memory you had of your guardian angel… Of you being cared for and remembered, at least by someone.

With your heart sinking in your chest, a heavy click opened the gates of the Restricted Session, allowing you to go in.

The obsidian box was open, revealing a big, ominous book with a deep blue leather cover. The Abyss and Other Ancient Realms – the letters were in silver, slowly fading with time, but beautifully crafted inside a gothic frame of vines. You took it into your hands, the weight almost heavier than your sword. It shouldn’t be, but some books held more knowledge than others. Some enchanted books, with infinite pages, impossible to run out of space in its binding.

You left the Restricted Session, looking over your shoulders one last time to catch a glimpse of your cherished blue shawl. It seemed like leaving a piece of your heart behind, but you took a deep breath and kept on your path back to the reception desk – you wouldn’t cry, at least not with your eyes, and you wouldn’t turn back once more either.

What was done was done. You had made your choice, and you wouldn’t go back.

As you approached the reception desk once more, though, a dark figured towered around it – and the eyes. It had your eyes.

It looked like a Eurasian Eagle-Owl, feathers in deep purple and black, glistening with the trembling candle flames. Its chest carried a blood red glow, faintly able to see under its jet-black wings. It stood tall, far taller than you, smart eyes mimicking yours as it followed your every move with interest and mischievous curiosity. Only when your careful steps got close enough you were able to see it had two sets of wings – one close to its body, another resembling the mannerisms of human arms.

You had your eyes in it – carefully drinking its every move. You didn’t know if it was friend or foe; if it tried to attack you, your sword, peacefully laying behind it, would have to make its way to your hand.

“If you’re looking for that white rabbit, he’s not here.” Its voice reverberated through walls and the floor, catching your ears and your heart. You’d say it was a demon, but something about its energy was… Different. Ancient. “But I sense that you seek a knowledge that is worth pursuing to the darkest depth of the Underworld to find it.” As it finished speaking, a small laugh followed the words, clearly enjoying your curiosity that led you to that realm. “How will curious little Alice accomplish such a dangerous feat?”

“With courage. You have to be curious in order to be brave.” Your answer was certain albeit careful. Never before you had encountered a demon that resembled the creature standing before you – and the Codex Daemonica had no information about that. “I wonder. If I was led here but there’s no white rabbit to be seen, who am I talking to? The Cheshire Cat?”

Once again, that laugh reverberated through your chest, while its feathers shook with delight. Of all creatures you had met, that was the first who made you unsure. As far as your knowledge went, you could be talking to a trickster, like the ancient Norse deity, Loki.

“Alice should know better that names are not to be given so lightly.”

You just stared back into your own eyes, a small unsatisfied smile coloring your lips. You had signed your name; you had given it already. But words have power, especially the ones voiced by one’s own lips. If you wanted its name, you had to give yours – you had to voice it so it could voice its own. An eye for an eye, a hand for a hand, a name for a name.

“Y/n. My name is y/n, as I signed in the guestbook already.” You said after a deep breath. You could be making a huge mistake, but the book in your arms was worth whatever price. You had already left your guardian angel’s shawl – there was no going back now.

“It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, little Alice.” The creature bowed its head slightly, making you mirror its chivalry. “You can call me Ovid, master of this realm.”

“You certainly have a wonderful library, Ovid.” You couldn’t keep secret the fact that you had a Restricted Session book in your arms: Ovid probably knew what you had given up for it already and you had every intention to check that book out. For good or for bad. “With knowledge that even the best arcane libraries in the human realm only dream of.”

“Indeed, y/n, indeed… How far would you go fur such knowledge, little Alice?”

“As far as necessary, dear Cheshire Cat.”

Its eyes reflected the same fire that burned in yours – but you didn’t look down. You had already met that stare before: years ago, when fighting the blue coated devil, it was that sort of glance that commanded you to give up and made you only ignore it and remain stronger in your own will.

It was rare for Ovid meeting such a strong-willed human. A journey alongside you could be quite interesting, after all.

“I see you have already accessed the Restricted Session…” Ovid murmured back, glancing quickly at the book in your hands. “To check out such knowledge, in the other hand, there are a few conditions.”

“As I said before, I’m willing to go as far as necessary. I already gave up something dear to me.” It was rare for you to put yourself in such a vulnerable position, but there you were. That book was worth much more than you could ever dream of and, if you needed to, you would fight that creature for it – even if you didn’t know what it was.

“And you can read it in my realm whenever you see fit, as long as your offering remains in the altar.” Once again, it bowed its head slightly, only to turn those bright, cunning eyes back to you right after. “But in order to return constantly, I shall need something in return.”

You smiled. There was always a catch. That’s how it was when dealing with demons.

“What is it?”

“For which purpose does little Alice needs such a book so desperately…?” You could hear it in its voice: they knew you had a goal, that you needed that book not only for curiosity, but for something else.

You had to be honest and vulnerable – something you avoided with all your strength. There were no cards left up your sleeve and the only thing you had in your advantage was that you could summon your silver sword at any moment – unless Ovid had sensed that spell already.

“There are no books in the human realm with knowledge on the Abyss. Whatever it is, I need to know more about it to keep it from destroying entire cities like it did to mine.” You took a deep breath, never lowering your eyes from Ovid’s cunning stare. “I will write a Codex Abyssae, just like there is a Codex Daemonica, so other hunters may be able to protect other people. This…” You looked down at the book in your arms, furrowing your brows. “This is the best source I found to this day. I can’t let it go.”

As your eyes went back to Ovid’s, you could swear it was smiling – after all, you knew how your eyes looked when you were doing so.

“Well, well, little Alice…” There was a tinge of delight in its voice, and you couldn’t refrain your heart from being wary. “It seems that the Fates brought our paths together, then. This book can only be read on my realm, however you might be able to come and go as you please for your research as long as you keep its information updated.” Those eyes, your eyes, glinted with a smart burst of energy of something that hadn’t had that much fun in centuries. “You see, my collection, sometimes, gets obsolete. Inside this book, you will find everything you need to know on the Abyss, but I’m afraid there is so much more yet to be discovered. It will be an honor harboring a copy of your Codex Abyssae along my many pages and oceans of words.”

One of their wings pointed back at the book. As you observed the cover, The Abyss and other ancient realms title disappeared, only to give room to the carefully crafted, gothic silver words of Codex Abyssae.

That was your book. That was your research. If you accepted it, all that knowledge, all that power would be yours – and you would get to update it, as well as write your own version for the human realm. It was really a lot more than you could have wished for, even if it bounded you to that creature you knew so little about.

“What happens when I am done?”

“You cannot return.” Ovid’s voice was calm, acting as if it was just another day in their eternity. Their eyes, though, glinted with delight. “The Codex will return to its safety in the Restricted Session. Your shawl will be returned. You will have your knowledge, and I will have mine. Our deal will be over.”

Of course, it was a deal. Something like that always had a price.

And you were willing to pay it.

“How do I access the library to read the Codex when I need to?”

“You can always summon me with one of my feathers, dear Alice.”

It seemed like you hadn’t noticed it before, but right by the guest book, there was a golden dish with a silky, long black feather in it. Like you imagined before, you would be bound to that creature to a certain extent, as long as you kept your part of the bargain. They would give you knowledge if you delivered knowledge in return.

It was a small price to pay, in your point of view.

“Well, then. You have yourself a deal, Cheshire.” You took a deep breath, declaring your will out loud. “I will keep the Codex Abyssae updated as long as I can come and go from the library and read it for my research, Ovid. Deal.”

That laugh reverberated through the library once more as you reached for the feather. You could finally leave the Codex on the reception desk, knowing you could come back any time and spend hours and hours reading it to your heart’s desire.

“I have to finish the job I was hired to do, but when I want to come back…”

“I will be there to guide you into my realm, little Alice.” Ovid made a small signal with their head, making you slightly bow in return.

“Thank you for allowing me to have access to your library, Ovid.”

“Thank you, little Alice, for giving me such knowledge to build upon, but do be careful on the road ahead.” Their warning caught you off guard, making you stop as you were ready to get your weapons once more. “You have been close to death once before, I can see that.” As those words filled your mind, you furrowed your brows. “Before you go, I shall give you a piece of advice to mull over. The next time you end up on death’s doorstep, it will take you without hesitation. So, live a fruitful and fulfilling human life, with the time you’ve got left. Death does not give second chances lightly.”

That warning placed a heavy weight on your heart, taking your breath away for a few seconds. You had defied death once but, as it seemed, you wouldn’t be able to do it twice.

With so much left to do, you kept that warning in a place you could think about later. You struck a deal. It was done. You couldn’t turn back now.

*

As soon as your feet left the door that got you inside the library, you found yourself back into the derelict building that led you there. You glanced back, hoping to see the purple flames and the reception desk once more – now with your weapons back to your grip and the feel of your trusted sword hilt calming your heart – but you only found an old empty room, with books and paper scattered all over the dusty floor.

You were back ��� and it all seemed like a lifelong dream. You would consider it all to have been just your imagination, if Ovid’s feather didn’t weight inside your coat’s pocket. Checking once more, your fingers found the silky touch of the feather and you knew; it was all true. You had struck a deal with a trickster, maybe a demon, maybe something older – you weren’t sure. But you had done it for a knowledge and a power the strongest demons could only dream of.

Your steps quickly led you back to the round hall surrounded by the labyrinth of mahogany aisles, lit only by a sheer light that entered through the cracks in the walls. Soon, you would find your steps away from that building, back to your job, to make sure the Abyss would close, and nothing would be able to go in – or get out.

“This time, I will not allow you to go any further… Little human.”

That voice. It was his voice. You were certain of it.

Turning around, you smiled as you saw a very well-known silhouette lit only by the stray rays of light, framing his shoulders and his conceited head held high in the air – the sword on his hand, ready to attack; the smirk framing his arrogance… His eyes, defying yours with a fire burning in silver. The blue coat gracing him as a frame.

You smirked back, holding your head high and staring back with your burning eyes.

“Long time no see… Demon.”

**

To be continued...

[unreadpoppy]

song as old as rhyme - chapter 15

{Beauty and the Beast AU - Raphael x OC (Elize)}

chapter 14

Read on AO3

A/N: this might be a good moment to tell y’all i can’t visualize things in my head, soooo for my sake, you'll have to imagine what Mizora's place looks like (also, just pretend she has like a idk, mansion in Faerun). Also, I apologize if some of the dancing makes no sense, descriptions are hard.

Warnings: Mentions of violence

Taglist: @littlemoondarling

@desenhosdebolso

@shyminnie07

@lemonandhoneytea

“Ah, Raphael, how nice of you to have made it here. And quite on time, as well.” A blue woman, with fiery red hair, four horns and wings, spoke. She had a golden adornment on her head and her garment left little to the imagination. 

The she-devil turned her attention towards Elize, eyeing the human up and down. “And you must be Raphael’s newest pet, Elize.” She said, with a smirk. “I am your hostess, Mizora.” 

Elize chose to ignore the ‘pet’ part and asked “You know who I am?”

“But of course! Words spread like wildfire in the Hells.” She giggled. “It was a matter of time until everyone heard about Raphael’s new apple of his eye.” Mizora took one free strand from Elize’s hair, looking at the cambion. “I can see why you chose her.” 

Raphael’s jaw tightened and his chest puffed. “Careful, Mizora.” He said as he eyed her down, taking a step towards her. It was then that Elize noticed how much taller and bigger than the other devil he was. “You might be the host, but you still ought to know your place.” 

Mizora huffed. “You are no fun.” She took a step back, addressing both of them. “I’ll leave you to enjoy yourselves.” She grabbed a drink from a nearby servant and walked away. 

Elize, who had let go of Raphael’s arm, turned towards him. “You look…furious.” His face was contorted, his nose scrunched. She even swore she saw his eye twitch. 

“Mizora always has a special way of getting on my nerves.” Raphael looked at Elize, and his face softened just slightly. “Come. Let us talk with the other guests.” He ushered her forward, placing one hand on her back. It was the first time Elize noticed how big his hands were, with how much space on her back they covered. 

Elize and Raphael greeted and briefly spoke to many different fiends. Although most were decent, there were a few that made inappropriate comments (mirroring much of Mizora’s own) or looked at Elize’s bosom for too long, prompting Raphael to tighten his hold on Elize. 

After a particular demon made a very rude comment, Raphael excused himself, allowing Elize to have a moment alone. She walked towards a balcony and gasped when she saw the sky. 

For the past few months, all she had seen beyond the windows of the House of Hope were the hells. When the pair arrived, she had been quick to notice that Mizora’s home lacked the typical scent of Avernus. Now, seeing the moon and the stars shine, Elize felt her eyes watering, and a tear falling down. 

She was so entranced that she failed to notice the figure beside her, until a voice spoke. “My lady, why do you cry?”

…

Meanwhile, in a distant room, Raphael had cornered a demon. 

The foul creature had stared at Elize’s chest for too long and that had struck a chord with the cambion. He never considered himself to be a particularly righteous man, but it felt wrong to see Elize disrespected like that. 

At least, that was what he was trying to convince himself of, as he beat the demon up. 

Deep down, Raphael knew, he was jealous. He felt possessive of her, especially after the events of the last few weeks, and to see someone eyeing her, as if she were an object - that, Raphael wouldn’t tolerate. He already had to deal with Mizora’s insinuation earlier, but enough was enough. 

‘She is mine.’ He thought, as he sent the demon back to the hell they came from. He straightened his clothes and with a snap of his fingers, the mess was removed from him. Taking a deep breathe, Raphael made his way back to the event. 

 …

Elize jumped slightly at hearing the voice, but then calmed down. The voice belonged to a dark skinned man, with black braided hair, and eyes of different colors. Due to the two horns sprouting from her head, she believed he must be some type of tiefling, even if he lacked a tail. 

“Sorry, I didn’t see you there.” She gave him a small smile. 

 “I apologize.” He gave her a slight bow. “I am Wyll Ravengard, the Blade of the Frontiers.” 

“Elize.” She replied. “Pleasure to meet you.”

He smiled. “The pleasure is all mine. But you have not answered my question: what made you cry?”

“Oh, it’s just… I haven’t seen the night sky in a long time.” When he made a face of confusion, she clarified. “I made a deal with a devil and I have been living in Avernus ever since.” Realizing what she just said, Elize followed with “But please, it is not as bad as it seems. It’s quite nice, actually.” 

Wyll raised an eyebrow but didn’t protest. “If you say so, I believe you.” He said. “But should you ever need help, don’t be afraid to call for help.” 

Before he could continue, or Elize could reply, a voice spoke from behind him. “She will do no such thing.” Raphael loomed behind him. “Wyll Ravengard.” The cambion said in a sinister tone. “I see Mizora still has you on a tight leash.” 

Wyll turned to face him. “Raphael.” He replied in the same tone. “I see you recovered from the beating we gave you. Maybe I should call Tav over and we can have a rematch.”

“You contemptuous creature, I´ll-”

“Master!” Elize said, interrupting Raphael, who seemed he was about to burst into flames. She took a step forwards, coming in between the two men. When Raphael looked as if he was about to smite Wyll then and there, Elize put a hand on his chest, getting on her tiptoes to whisper “Look, the dancing is about to begin.” Head motioning to the couples making their way to the dance floor. 

Raphael looked down at her, jaw still tightened. “Come on, let’s join them.” She said, adjusting a strand of his hair that was out of place. ‘Strange’ she thought ‘his hair was perfectly combed when we left’. 

Finally, he took a deep breath and took a step back, placing his hand forward. Elize sighed and took it, allowing him to lead them to the only spot available in between the other couples, the very center of the ballroom. 

They took position and began dancing. Raphael was stiff from anger, and he kept looking around the room, which prompted Elize to say “Ignore them. Focus on me.” 

He closed his eyes momentarily and opened them again, to Elize giving him a small smile. “I apologize. My mind seems to be elsewhere.” 

“It happens.” She replied. At this point in the song, he lifted her upwards, and she held onto his biceps. “Thankfully, you have a very good dance partner to keep you grounded.” Elize said smirking, as he put her down. 

Raphael chuckled. “I believe mere hours ago, I was the one who kept you grounded during the steps.” He felt his anger begging to dissipate, the conversation making the room lighter.

“Ah yes, but that was long ago.” Elize replied. “But do tell me, how am I fairing now?” 

At that moment, they had gotten to a moment in the dance where Raphael was behind her, holding her hands in a way that her arms were crossed in front of her. As he pulled her close, he whispered the answer in her ear. “You are splendid, my dear.” He eyed her neck, fighting the urge to claim it. 

Elize felt a shiver go down her spine as he said that. Eventually, they faced each other again, looking into each other's eyes. 

Although she preferred his warm brown human eyes, she still felt as if she could lose herself into the abyss that were Raphael’s devilish eyes. His sclera was black and his irises were of a burning orange circle. As Elize stared into them, she felt as if everyone else faded away, and only the two of them existed in the room. 

Raphael, on the other hand, felt a sense of calmness when he looked into Elize’s green eyes. They made him think of a nice spring day, the type of day that invites you to go outside and feel alive. Elize’s eyes were painfully human and he was fond of them. For a moment, he allowed his gaze to lower towards her pink lips and he couldn’t help but wonder if they were as soft as they looked.

As the dance got closer to the end, Raphael whispered. “Elize, forgive me, but I believe I must steal something of yours.” 

She frowned. “What is it?” 

“A kiss.” Raphael pulled her even closer and kissed her on the mouth. Elize was taken by surprise at first, but then melted under the kiss, enjoying the feeling of his lips on hers, snaking her arms around his neck and back. 

Raphael’s hands made their way towards her back, to support her weight as he dipped her, finally letting go of her mouth. As they held the position they had practiced earlier, they once again looked at each other, the same feeling passing through both of them. 

When he pulled her close, she whispered “I think we should go somewhere more private.” He smirked and snapped his fingers.

[daengtokki]

Your story is like the first one I’ve been so deeply captivated by when it comes to serial killer shit, like I can’t explain it. Sure I’ve read yandares and silly ghost face skz story’s, but this one made me feel…disgusted? Like I’ve never had a fictional story about skz make me feel so grossed out. I don’t want you to take it as a negative thing, and if you do i apologize 🩷

I’ve read sooooo many fics through three years and I was a little bit skeptical when I first read the “serial killer! Seungmin” but I’m glad I kept reading cause I’m so excited for the next part.

What I meant by the “it grossed me out” part, is the scene where he killed the man? I don’t know why but I dead ass almost threw up, might be cause I’m sick and the only thing I’ve been consuming are medications. But holy fuck dude, I had to step away😭

Also!! I got so, frustrated? And confused? When she DIDNT LEAVE THE COUNTRY!? A MAN JUST KILLED YOU FOR LIKE TWO MINUTES AND YOURE OVER HERE KISSING HIS LIPS AND WHAT NOT.

But I think that’s what makes a story good! The minute a fic I’m reading is making me feel some kind of emotions, better bet I’m reading until the fkn end.

Anyway, pardon my rant, and again I really hope you don’t take it as offensive, but if you do I’d totally get it tbh.

Stay safe and healthy! Lots of love🩷🌺

Sorry I took so long responding, but I really had to gather my thoughts for this one. Apologies for it being so long and for me basically taking an opportunity to unload.

All of the "negative" parts popped out because I was so tired and out of it. And I was like “oh no please don’t hate please don’t hate the story” 😭 ㅋㅋ ㅋ I'm out of it today, too, so hopefully I type this up properly.

But I don’t take your comments negatively! My job as a writer is to make you feel all of the emotions my characters are dealing with.

So thank you for taking the time to write all of this out! Seriously. I'm a little floored anyone (this goes for everyone who has sent a message or left a long comment about the fic) has been reading thoughtfully enough to catch everything l've been putting into the story. We’ll be getting more into readers fucked up head very soon, since you mentioned that!

I’m glad these not so pretty parts have gotten a reaction out of you, because I’ll take that as me writing the scenes well! That’s very important to me as a writer, and as someone who has always taken writing seriously. I love writing simple fanfic that you guys can lose yourself in, because that’s why I picked up ff again after stopping for many years. And because of Seungmin, ofc. But this is also why I was very nervous about posting DEITY even though I’ve been wanting to do serial killer!Seungmin for months now. I knew it couldn’t be simple, but I had no idea it would already be this long halfway through (almost 50k words). After writing the intro and getting into the first part, I decided to just write an entire novel. I already had the plot in my head.

I don’t see many stories like this on tumblr, but I also don’t read much (I’m not exaggerating when I say all of my free time is spent writing) so putting something darker out there that wasn’t just oneshot smut was a little scary. I’m aware that’s what get most of the attention on here (short stuff, ott smut, ~imagines, etc) and why even though I have readers like you, I don’t have much in the way of likes and reblogs. It does get discouraging, but I’m pushed forward when I think about all of you reading each part.

So ANYWAY. Sorry this got so long. Thank you so much for your reblogs and your comments on those reblogs. It’s so important to me and the other writers on tumblr.

And thank you Seungmin for being my muse. I wouldn’t be writing every day again without you making me so delusional.

Again, sorry if this is too much and none of it makes sense. I took too much of one of my meds today and I’m very dizzy and lethargic from it.

[bookshelfdreams]

(previous anon here) Thanks for the reply and don't worry at all about the tone :) Yeah, I know the post wasn't about that, I just put in a good word for Izzy about his hostility in that particular scene. I was like you about Ed in season 1… I couldn't be angry with him even when he threw poor Lucius into the sea XD but my view of him changed in season 2 and I can understand people who keep defending him but it makes me sad see often the same fans who justify everything he does not empathizing even a little with Izzy (when he deserves it, of course). I'd also have to say about the Ed/Izzy dynamic of the Frankfurter clouds scene/whole episode but I don't want bother you further because that would be long ^^' Goodnight! (no need to post this, I took you enough time)

hehe sorry for not answering yesterday, I was already asleep when u sent this! No need to apologize at all, I love hearing people's thoughts about ofmd!

wrt Ed, honestly, he just bats his big sad baby cow eyes and I'm like, awwww. Who could be mad at you.

Look at him! He can do whatever he wants <3

No but fr, I think the first 3 episodes of s2 are super super interesting, because Ed genuinely is a bit of a dick in them - but we are asked to forgive him anyway. We're clearly shown that the violence, the refusal to engage with his own emotions, the hypermasculine posturing - all that is very bad for him. He's hurting himself much more than he's hurting anyone else, and ofmd always took emotional pain far more serious than physical injury. Also, there's been a worrying tendency in fandom over the hiatus to paint Ed as much more aggressive and violent than he actually is; to refuse to extend to him the empathy and understanding certain Other Characters get. This has only been amplified after s2 dropped.

So there's a counter-tendency to be very very firm in the stance that he never did anything wrong XD Not saying you personally are a part of that first tendency of course.

Ed actually is criticized in Canon for what he did! He does have to make amends. And he is forgiven. The characters forgive him; the story forgives him; we, the audience, are supposed to forgive him. Because what we are shown is the destructive death spiral of a man so hopeless, and in such horrific emotional pain, that the only solution he sees is pushing until someone snaps and kills him. That's heartbreaking, and 02x02 is visceral to watch. I never wanted to see Ed redeemed (because, imo, that's not what he needs, he feels bad enough about himself already); I wanted to see him recover. And I got that :)

But I can see how people with different life experiences than mine might see that differently.

Anyway, thank you so much for your thoughts, and for reaching out! If you want to talk about the clouds scene, I'd be elated to hear your thoughts, 01x04 is one of my favourite episodes and it's a great scene to chew on. But if you'd rather not, that's fine too <3 Have a lovely day!

[zeroseuniverse]

Here By Your Side

Warnings: fainting, overworking, angry skz

Summary: In which the soulmate bond based off of cent, might just drive him insane

Pairing: Jeongin X Reader

She sighed exhaustedly, she was tired, JYP had her running around like a chicken without a head for months now, Every issue was run through her and she was the one who usually had to be the one to take care of it. This particular day she was having the worst day already. She woke up feeling dizzy and the amount of makeup she had to pile on to cover her paling skin was exhausting, it made her late so she couldn’t even eat breakfast.

Despite her issues she got right into work as instructed she began rounding up all of the workers for makeup, sending out a message to the group of the day, stray kids to head that way before eagerly preparing the food table for them to be able to eat during their breaks, then she went to talk to sound production giving the workers a coffee for their hard work and instructing them the order again to make sure it goes smoothly.

–

Jeongin followed the group quietly, not really feeling up for chatting today, this lingering smell flooding his mind with the urge to follow, but he couldn’t.

Getting into the makeup room the smell was stronger here but still fading, almost like a tease. He huffed annoyed and made his way to his makeup artist who could clearly see his disinterest in anything else at the moment so he kept his mouth shut.

Scents was probably the worst and best soulmate bond, everybody had a scent but it was usually muted and you could tell artificial from genuine. But your soulmate’s scent? It was like the room was doused in a perfume of their natural scent, it was intoxicating. It was also very hard to ignore when he needed to function properly so the scent was currently irritating him.

After his time in hair and makeup the group made their way to costumes, where, yet again the smell lingered, it seemed to be strongest on a certain man who was looking very disinterested in the situation at hand, as he repeatedly checked his phone and looked at the door anxiously.

“Uh- we’re missing a piece of your outfits, I sent someone to go get it but that was 20 minutes ago and she’s not back yet.” The man uttered nervously as he tried calling the number yet again.

“Okay who do you guys call when an employee goes off like that?” Chan asked, beginning to take on leader mode.

“That’s the thing, she’s the step in. She’s never taken this long to handle a small problem.” Another man in the costume department frowned in thought.

“Okay well obviously something is wrong. You guys don’t have to lie to cover for her, its okay but we need to finish getting ready for the show so can someone figure this out.” Chan said hoping to finish this process, but the man who looked disinterested simply rolled his eyes and stormed out of the room.

“We weren’t lying. She is one of the hardest workers in the company, she knows the ins and outs of every single department. She always fixes every problem before it even has the chance to be a problem, that's why we called her.” The other man addressed annoyed by the attitude the idol gave them, it was rare for Chan to have an attitude with the staff but he had been really on edge today with this being their first show of the year, and having Jeongin distracted was not helping his nerves.

“Sorry I was-” Chan tried to apologize for his actions but the man simply ignored it and passed each person their clothes.

“Here, get dressed, if you don’t mind I’m going to look for my friend. We’ll be back to put the final touches on soon.” The man said before also stroming out of the room. Chan sighed defeatedly but followed instructions, each man getting dressed.

“MEDIC!” they heard a scream and the rushing of feet outside of the door making everyone shoot up in panic.

“Okay everyone stay calm it’s probably a mior incident.” Chan shakily sighed trying to calm his members down.

“Sir, I need her information please.” They heard a medic yell at someone panicking.

“____ _____, she’s American her parents are in America they won’t get here.”

“That's not the information I need. Blood type, pre-existing conditions, allergies, anything you can offer.”

Now it sounded serious if someone else was having to answer the questions for her, so Chan walked into the hallway quickly with the rest of the group following cautiously.

The smell hit Jeongin like a train, his body moving before he could react and suddenly he wasn’t with his group anymore but right next to the woman on the ground.

“Sir, I need you to back up.” The medic tried to dismiss but he looked on in awe as the young man placed his hand on the woman’s head and the bond took effect. He didn’t give all of his energy, but he gave just enough for the woman’s eyes to flutter slightly.

“Her blood type is O, She doesn’t have any conditions, the only thing she's allergic to is chocolate.” The previous man addressed, reading the information off of her phone.

“I have to take her to the hospital, would you like to come with your soulmate?” The medic asked, making everyone look at the newly blonde boy in shock. He didn’t even register it, his body still acting on its own as he followed the medic to the ambulance, skillfully avoiding the fans.

–

“What on Earth just happened?” Hyunjin gasped as he watched his friend climb into the ambulance with the woman.

“It’s his soulmate, his mind is distressed so he’s not even thinking at the moment, his subconscious has taken over and is acting on instinct.” Changbin explained as he eyed Chan who was watching the scene sadly. “It’s not your fault.” He tried to comfort Chan.

“I disregarded the safety of his soulmate as a staff member being lazy.”

“You didn’t know, and plus it’s not a new thing that staff can just drop out of what they’re supposed to be doing without a care.” Jisung reassured, patting his leaders back.

“So are we doing this concert without Jeongin?” Felix asked anxiously, they hadn’t worked out the dance without a member.

“Yes.”

“Oh boy.”

–

When She woke up to the annoying beeping of the heart monitor she knew something was wrong, she fluttered her eyes open slowly to avoid the blinding light, and took in her surroundings. The room smelt amazing, not the usual muted smells she’d have to take in but it was almost dizzying, not in the way she felt that morning, she felt safe in this scent.

“You’re awake.” A smooth voice spoke making her jump a bit, she turned to face the owner and saw Jeongin from Stray Kids holding her hand, rubbing his thumb across her hand dutifully as if it would heal her.

“Jeongin?” She asked confused, making the boy grin boyishly.

“Now that’s unfair, you know me but I don’t know you.” His fox-like eyes narrowed in a playful glare.

“I’m ____, you’re my soulmate?”

“I’d sure hope so, your scent has been teasing me all day, i’ve been just narrowly miss you everytime I enter a room.” He sighed, not looking into her eyes but instead turning her hand to fidget with her fingers.

“Sorry I had to run around a lot trying to make everything perfect for the show.”

“And thank you for that, but please learn to take care of yourself too, you were dehydrated and you had no food in your system. You were also super exhausted by what the doctor told me.” He scolded lightly, knowing he wasn’t exactly the best to talk about this but he really wanted to get his point across.

“I have an idea. When you eat I’ll eat, and when I sleep, you sleep.” She proposed with a shy grin which made Jeongin coo inwardly.

“How will I know you’re actually eating and sleeping?”

“Guess you’ll just have to join me.”