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josephsaturn · 1 year ago

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Just finished Attack of the Clones!

can’t skip the text crawl!

Wow they really did upgrade the CGI

what’s with all the fog tho

WHOA SHIT

wait Padme’s still got her Girlies(TM)? And they’ve all got a name that ends with é?

Was that Jango w the eyepatch???

Padme once again being the baddest bitch in the room

God Palpatine really does act slimy

WOOO HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN AND EWAN MACGREGOR WOOO

I’m gonna kill whoever thought that anakin’s haircut was acceptable

UUUUUUHUHHHHGGGGHHHH cringe

Captain typho huh?

Man obi wan looks great honestly

Jar jar doesn’t make me want to destroy my eyes

Oh she DEFINITELY recognizes you anakin

Zam?? Whomst???

Ope there’s Jango

More under the cut:

Dreamin bout ya mom???

Oh god centipedes???

OBI WAN??????? HELLO????

I see now why greater fandom always portrays him as insane cuz THAT is insane

Terrifying!

Yea production value deffo went up

A N A K I N

OH SHIT

“Why do I get the feeling you’re going to be the death of me?” Huh.

Obi wan gonna get HAMMERED

DAMN. DAMN.

Honestly I wasn’t expecting the temple to look like that

Oh noooooo

Yoda my man my guy then why don’t you FCKUING DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT

Why does Padme sound younger here than when she was literally like 14

Come to think of it how was she in GOVERNMENT OFFICE at 14

Ohh boyyy we gettin’ prideful Anakin now

Padme looks like a girl I knew in middle school

Jeez he’s down BAD bad

Dormé. Just..Dormé. Padmé. This MUST be an inside joke.

Kenobi: anakin’s crazy

Typho: yea nah padme’s crazier

Oooh dex?

Ok I’m starting to get it now

Damn mean old lady

A N A KIN

I’M dYINGGGGG

aw cute kids

Dang that’s one smart kid

Also, this is like a day after?? Bruv u better FIND that man

Yea girl u were like 14

Every fucking line of dialogue out of anakin’s mouth is either bad flirting or just bad in general like DUDE HOW

new Queen is slaying as well

MILADY

yea get his ass girl

Ok so how far is Kamino exactly??? Cuz 12 parsecs is a lot (at least I think it is, from how they explained it) yet the cut makes it look like obi wan only spent like an hour to get there

Kaminoans got nice voices

The Kaminoans: talking about the army n shit

Kenobi: ???!!!????!?!?!

S-eye-fo dee-as? I thought it’d be see-foe die-as

Kenobi’s like 3 seconds away from freaking out lmao

Man Naboo looks so aesthetically pleasing; I’d love to live there

Oh god. SAND.

Anakin pls mans just quit while you’re ahead

THAT WAS WHAT GOT HER???? A FUCKING LINE ABOUT S A N D ????

Yea that’s not fUCKING scary

Naughty children get put in the tube merry-go-round

Man.

man it’s so interesting how none of the clones are talking in these scenes

They’re just silently going along

“We keep him here.” Huh???

Obi wan: What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck

Man boba’s got that resting bitch face

Why does he look like he wants to kill Obi wan in every frame he’s visible

Oh shit Jango doesn’t know sifo dyas?

Hmmm

Damn that was charged

Ok Anakin is talking like a human being now. Great

Man they wanna fuck so bad

ABAKIN YOU WERE DOING SO WELL NOOOO

Agony?

Padme just fucking leave Like girl it isn’t worth it please just get out of there girl BLEASE

she’s like “damn he wants me that bad 👅👅💦💦”

I’m gonna kill Anakin

Yea girl woooo set those boundaries

God she really is always slaying

Ok back to Kamino cool

“Oh-bee wahn”

If Kamino is known as the cloner planet, who else did they clone??

Yeah y’all really are blind

Oh nooo shmiii

Stanced up

Wait did they sleep in the same room??

Were they fucking?

ANAKIN DONT FCKUING MAKE THIS WEIRD

Well at least padme’s supportive??

Damn Jango taught boba well

Ok I can’t take this seriously cuz of the lightsaber

Damn some Kaminoans are prob watching this fight from the windows like 👁️👄👁️

Tatooine!

[speaking huttese]?

So Shmi went to the Lars family huh. That’s one way to do it

Ok the time lag makes sense

Oh no not the bass boost grenades

Oh joy

Ok back to tatooine we go

Hey! An obviously cgi generated house in the desert!

Damn cliegg looks like shit

Oh god she was kidnapped?!

Oh so he lost his leg that’s why

A MONTH?!

Oh ok so it’s not generated

Hey playing with shadows!

And a callback to ep 4!

Duel of the fates again?

Oooh pretty place!

Wuh-oh

CHRISTOPHER LEE!!!

Why DID Jango go to geonosis?

Oh god I’m getting Spy Kids vibes again…

Obi wan looking back at the camera like “y’all seein this shit?”

OH GOD

I’m actually starting to cry rn

So terrible even the Jedi on coruscant can feel it?

But something HAS happened to him

I wonder what would’ve happened if Anakin went back to save Shmi at the beginning?

Uh oh.

“tHe ChOsEn oNe.”

Ok props to Christensen for this scene. Genuinely.

Damn Padme THIS is when you start to think about it?

But I get it, he’s obviously in distress so she’s comforting him like a normal person

Ok THIS is the start to his fall. He’s so attatched that he doesn’t know when to let go

AW SHIT ANAKIN’S WEARING BLACK NOW SHIT SHIT SHIT

but he won’t

Padme girl you are NOT helping

Girl Mace LITERALLY said to stay there what are you on

Wait it’s JARJAR that gets the army???

Captured in stasis

Is dooku just humoring kenobi?

Ok but would Qui gon have become a sepratist?

I mean it’s kinda obvious who sidious is

Dooku’s in cahoots with sidious right

Oh shit Jarjar IS the guy

IT WORKED??????HUH????????????????????????????????????

Grand army of the republic? More like (G)ekid(A)n inu cu(R)ry

(I’ve been rewatching Madoka again too)

How come no one’s made a fic of Yoda going to Kamino?

Damn r2’s got no chill

He’s destroyed his lightsaber before?

Girl.

She’s been enduring his horrible lines and pushiness for the entire movie

GIRL HE’S NOT IN THE RIGHT MENTAL STATE TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP

WOOO PUBLIC EXECUTIONS WOOO

and here’s approximately 70% of the budget!!

Oh shit it’s mace!

Damn Jango had no reason for that twirl tho

WHOA SHIT

That shadow of the heaaad

And boba NOOO

that stare between dooku & windu…is that like a “aw fuck” stare or a “watch ur back” stare

Ok I gotta ask: what’s the point of killing Jango? I get that it gets him outta the picture and gives boba a reason to be the hardass he is in OT, but like putting all that aside, what’s the point IN PREQUELS? Mace coulda just captured him

Are the guild guys gonna die

HEYO!

Ultimate weapon?

Oh shit

Hey an episode 1 callback!

THE ARM

shit is that dathomir?

M’wow

Pffft not Vader’s theme

marriage huh

And that’s it for now! I’ll be back after I’m done with clone wars season 1!

#star wars #attack of the clones #star wars attack of the clones #anakin skywalker #padme amidala #obi wan kenobi #sat chats about Star Wars

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lokigodofaces · 4 months ago

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yknow what, i posted this as a joke but i've been rewatching aos s1 and actually i think this shows so much about coulson as a person

coulson sees the good in people. even when that person doesn't think there is any good to be seen, coulson sees it.

he doesn't see perfect people. he sees highly flawed people that have the chance to be better, they just need a little help.

like, dudes, i don't even know where to start. i don't know which character to start with!

i guess i'm gonna go in release order then. probably missed some since it's been a while since i've seen the marvel movies.

1-thor: okay so coulson is doing his business dealing with this hammer thing & this blonde dude tried to steal it or whatever & then selvig comes along with a fake id & fake story that's pretty obvious & coulson is just like "alright then." let's thor leave & totally obviously steal a notebook. & someone that was worried thor would actually cause harm wouldnt do that but here we are. & isn't even the slightest bit phased when turns out thor is thor & some robot tried to kill him & leveled the town dude could tell thor wasnt a maniac.

2-jane, darcy, & selvig: okay so these 3 scientists are knowing stuff they shouldnt know quite yet okay coulson takes their stuff & then theyre super strong buddy shows up & selvig shows up with a fake id & fake story & coulson is just like ok yeah let em go but watch them & doesnt mind when they steal back a notebook. thor leaves & coulson is like oh heres all your stuff by the way good luck on the science thing. yeah that doesnt seem suspiciously chill for someone of your occupation

3-bruce: okay so they dont have screen time together but we have a scene of steve asking coulson about bruce & like coulson focuses more on the genius thing than the rage monster thing so like shout out to coulson for that one!

4-steve: continuing on that conversation, steve is obviously shaken up about the waking up after 70 years thing & thinks that he is "outdated" & says he "hopes he's the man for the job." to which coulson is immediately like what do i hear? are you doubting yourself? sir that is not allowed on shield premises, do you hear me? please have some fricking self confidence yes you can do it.

5-loki: okay so obviously this isnt confirmed by canon but cmon you saw my url & the og post you knew what was coming. coulson after being stabbed is somehow the only one that notices that loki's efforts are half hearted. like i could go into the many things that evidence that loki "lacked conviction" and all but i'm tired & lots of posts have already done that. the impressive thing is that only coulson realized. unfortunately he died before that information could be useful. but yeah dude realized something big he was the closest to learn about thanos

6-may: may had been at the desk job for years when coulson showed up. he could tell that may was isolating herself (anyone could she played it very obviously) but he's the only one that tried for so long to help & the only one to succeed to get her out of the isolation. it's a different type of "seeing good in her" it's not like she was evil or anything but he had faith in her and her ability to heal. & i respect that man.

6.5-fitzsimmons: i didnt know what order to put them & i'm tired & dont want to change the numbers. similar to may, he saw "good" in them in that he had a faith that no one else had in them at the time. they're two young shield agents that werent cleared for combat. had no experience. only science. & coulson was like frick yeah i'll take them. always encouraged them & had a complete faith that they could do the impossible science things. also come round s4 & coulson is defending fitz from himself about the framework!

7-daisy: in may's words, "if someone breaks into my place, i wouldn't invite them back, but that's just me." daisy was a criminal pretty much hacking into shield & others but coulson saw her for 1 second & was like yeah no this chick isnt an evil hacker or whatever drugged ward that very minute & invited her to the team. daisy betrays them kinda bc of miles or whatever & coulson is like okay you can stay also yes i'll figure stuff out about your parents. best fricking decisions he's made in his life turns out bc *later seasons* but yeah what may said not just anyone wouldve done it but coulson did bc he saw good in her

8-ward: okay tecnhically this was pre daisy but i dont care. & this part is gonna be controversial but i also dont care. what ward did was unexcusable. but coulson knew about ward's family, while he didnt know about hydra. he saw the trauma. & he def gave ward a chance to grow as a person & learn to work on a team. like coulson saw the possibility of growth. not his fault that ward didnt choose that path. but ward couldve given up on hydra at any minute in the time he was on the bus. they already had a ex rising tide chick on the bus, why not add a ex hydra? he couldve chosen at any minute. not coulsons fault that he never decided to change even after everything.

9-mack & bobbi: i'm putting them together bc it's basically the same story. 2 ex shield agents coulson found & recruited. & they both def were doing what they thought was right. & doing their jobs very well, if i may say so. & yet again coulson gets betrayed by these 2 who are working for the secret other shield. like i said, coulson puts an emphasis on the good of people generally, & obv mack & bobbi are good people

10-fricking hunter: watch the first couple episodes of s2. there is no logical sense why coulson lets hunter stay but he does. he lets this random mercenary that bobbi recommended despite his overall distaste of following orders & the general chaos that follows him. then offers him a permanent job. like idk man if i were coulson i would not be allowing hunter on any missions after s2e1 so like dude mustve seen something in hunter turned out great though hunter was a great asset! really helped in the latter half of s2 & helped fitz in s5!

plus there's probably more people but that's all i'm thinking of this second

but anyway the point of this is:

coulson emphasizes the good in people, & i see that so admirable. like it would be super easy for him be closed off and untrusting bc of his profession. especially after the whole dying and shield being hydra stuff. but man keeps going, having faith in humanity & preferring to hope that people will be good than assume that all humans are awful. i find that so admirable & that is definitely part of his charm. that's why he's likeable. because he believes in humanity & he believes in those around him. he's willing to give second chances and help people become their best selves.

love how we've all decided that coulson immediately knew that loki didnt actually want to invade earth & all but was just as surprised as everyone else when it turned out ward was hydra

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firebrandthestubborn · 3 years ago

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Asking the tcm2 cast their pronouns 😩

This is all for fun please don’t take most of this seriously plsplspls ok thanks mwah also these are hcs don’t kill me plsplsplspls

TW- none really but Drayton and Lefty being slightly transphobia/homophobic with out them realizing it.

Again these are all my personal headcannons okay love you mwah mwah mwah

Bubba Sawyer

“What are your pronouns”

*confused squealing*

As a victim:

You’ll have to explain what this is to him and it takes him a while to grasp the concept but all around you figure that he doesn’t care! Any pronouns are fine :) then you get chainsawed and eaten :)!!

As a friend/significant other:

Once again you’ll have to explain them to him but he pretty much says the same thing but this time you DONT get chainsawed and eaten :)!!! Bubba is very happy that you asked. Switching to she/her she/they pronouns when she busts out the pretty woman mask and she will get very happy :)

Chop Top Sawyer 😩😩

“What are your pronouns?”

As a victim:

“NONE, DONT R-R-REFER TO ME BITCH RARARA”

BOOM hammer to the head! Can’t change my mind that this is what he’ll say right before he bashes ur brains in with various large objects.

Or he would say Nor/mal as a joke then snarl at you

As a friend/significant other:

“What oh yea uhhh he/him they/them it/it’s”

He goes back to whatever he’s doing after you ask obviously not caring. But it caught him off guard yknow because no ones ever asked him that before… ‘am I supposed to ask you the same thing? Why did you care so muc- OH SHIT I HAVENT LISTENED TO THIS IN FOREVER.’ Yea he’s over it now, he forgot you asked.

Nubbins Sawyer

“So whatre your pronouns?”

As a Victim:

You ask him and he’ll just stare at you for a few seconds, he looks as if Dancing Queen is playing in repeat in his head and nothing else. After a few long seconds he sputters out incoherent nonsense about not caring what you have to say, Nubbins never answers your question.

As a friend/ Significant Other:

One again he just stares at you for a few second the rustle gears in his empty head turn while he try’s to process your question,

“OH HAH uhhhhhh he/him??? The male ones :D” he replies to you before going back to doing whatever the hell he was doing with that knife.. oh poor Nubbins he has no idea… but he’s trying his hardest I promise.

Drayton Sawyer

“What are your pronouns?”

As both a victim and a friend because I feel like he would answer the same either way.

“What? Uhm the male ones? I’m a guy obviously.”

He rolls his eyes and walks off not even bothering to listen to anything else you have to say. I don’t think Drayton is necessarily homophobic/transphobic but he is very much stuck in his old man way of thinking and is to stubborn to learn anything. But he would definitely respect your preferred pronouns and ur sexuality even if he makes jokes about it,,,

Lieutenant 'Lefty' Enright

“What are ur pronouns?”

As a friend/significant other

“Uhmm? Male ones I guess? I don’t know? Why?”

Just like Drayton Lefty is an older guy who lives in Texas.. he just doesn’t understand the question. At first he kind of offended you ask but he understands after you explain and then he gives you an actual answer.

“Uhm he/him/his? I guess?”

Lefty most definitely used to be Homophobic/transphobic before he met Stretch mostly due to how he was raised but now he definitely is not. Of course he needs some things explained to him and you and Stretch are always there to help! Just be slow with him he’s trying..

Vanita 'Stretch' Brock

“Can I ask your pronouns?”

As a friend/Significant Other

“Oh darlin’! Of course you can mine are she/her! What are yours?”

Oh my sweet Stretch she’s loves that you asked her and of course she’s gonna ask you! She has no judgment on your pronouns or anything about you so when you tell her she follows them as best as she can! She will even correct herself is need be. Someone fucks with you and is homophobic/transphobic towards you? She’ll fuck em up! You can count on stretch to be a safe person to go to.

L.G. McPeters

“Hey L.G. what are your pronouns?”

As a friend/Significant Other

Oh boy is L.G. excited, Stretch asked him this a while back and he needed a bit of help and she explained it to him. He’s excited that he can answer this without saying the wrong thing or you taking the wrong way. He looks at you proudly.

“He/Him They/Them!” He say wrapping an arm around you laughing, L.G is very proud of themself. You smile knowing that he’s happy. After you ask Them,They’ll ask you the same and L.G. is surprisingly very good at following pronouns they never mess up and switches to your new pronouns(if they were different from what you originally said) almost immediately.

#slasher community #tcm2 #texas chainsaw massacre #chop top sawyer #slasher fucker #bubba sawyer #leatherface #nubbins sawyer #drayton sawyer #vanita stretch brock #stretch tcm #l.g. mcpeters #LG tcm2 #Lieutenant 'Lefty' Enright #lefty tcm2

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marvelmymarvel · 4 years ago

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Little Miss Muffet

Chrollo x Reader

Synopsis: Chrollo never showed his feelings, not to the troupe and never to anyone else. Except for when it came to you. You were frightened at first of the big bad spider, but soon you too fell in love.

Nursery Rhyme: Little Miss Muffet

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, eating her curds and whey there came a big spider, who sat down beside her and frightened Miss Muffet away.

The candle light bounced off his dark orbs as they moved across the page below him. It was a book he has read many times before, but always chose when you two were travelling. "Oh come now, why must little miss muffet always have to tag along" Machi groaned below you two, disturbing your peace and Chrollo's concentration. You frowned as the nickname that the troupe had given you as a joke, rolled off her tongue like venom.

Little Miss Muffet.

You never liked the comparison, but you couldn't argue that it wasn't true. Chrollo raised an eyebrow but didn't look at her, refusing to entertain her and her childish arguments. You were his lover, someone he cherished and protected. If he left you alone, you would have no one to protect you and sure, Chrollo could assign a spider to be your body guard.

But he wouldn't chance your life like that.

Annoyed with his lack of response, Machi let out another huff before opening her mouth wide again to argue. "SHE'S JUST IN THE WAY-" Chrollo's finger shot up, silencing her as he tried to finish the last sentence on the page. Your eyes flicked between the two, worried that you had caused unnecessary drama in the troupe. The breath that was caught in your lungs began to burn, and you were begging for him to speak out. Everyone knew about you two, so why didn't he just say it. You weren't some little miss muffet, some girl he could fuck with and then leave behind. "You know one thing about me Machi, and that's that I dont love anything"

Machi swallowed thickly at his words as her eyes shot to your face for reassurance that what he was admitting was defeat. That he was finally admitting that he didn't like you, but the soft smile that ghosted your lips only made her heart hammer harder. "Y-yes boss" she muttered out finally, flicking her eyes back to her bosses cold glare that was dead set on her. He didn't seem happy about being interrupted, but he seemed more upset about her disapproval of the woman beside him. "Then you should realize that if I love something, I would want to keep it safe. Correct?" Chrollo's eyes were still fixated on her, but his hand wandered to his side in search of your cold and trembling hand. The warmth that enveloped your fingers caused a soft sigh to fall from your lips as you rested your head against his shoulder. He pulled you in deeper to his side, wanting you to feel as safe as possible while the spiders were around. He was the only spider who pulled you back in despite your initial fear, and he would be damned if he let anymore spiders try and scare you off for good.

The smell of him was intoxicating and calming, something you only got to encounter with the cold hearted man. Machi was learning this quickly as she watched you melt into his embrace, as if he was home to you. Machi nodded, you were his and he was yours.

More importantly, no one was going to change that.

Chrollo shot a sinister grin at Machi's nod, pleased with the fear that was oozing out of her. "Good. Now if you don't leave my 'Little Miss Muffet' alone, there will no longer be a spider that will threaten her happiness... Understood?" Machi nodded violently, instantly realizing that he was threatening to kill her off if she ever questioned you being beside him again. The other spiders knew better than to mess with you, but sometimes Chrollo had to put them back in their place. You snuggled into Chrollo's neck, inhaling his scent as your hand rested lightly on his exposed chest. The touch of you calmed him down, but his glare didn't falter until Machi went back to her spot. You may be afraid of spiders.

But boy did you love one of them.

#chrollo lucilfer imagine #chrollo lucilfer imagines #chrollo lucilfer x reader #chrollo imagine #chrollo imagines #chrollo x reader #hxh x reader #hxh imagines #hxh imagine #hxh #hunter x hunter imagines #hunter x hunter imagine #hunter x hunter #hunter x 2011

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surpriserose · 3 years ago

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Chris can u pretty pretty please fan cast X/1999 🥺🥺🥺🥺

I hate this i hate that i woke up and was like yeah ive got ideas >:(

Kamui is timothee chalamet everyone's favorite edgeboy and nothing else kamui is just all edge here hes not allowed to develop as a character or be nonbinary sorry i got attached to agender kamui so much

Fuuma is everyones second favorite edgy boy Robert Pattinson who is literally giving it his all and thats probably too much so honestly? He can probably pull of fuuma theyre both weirdos

Kotori probably still dies but there are so many cringey romantic flashbacks with her and kamui as kamui is training (in a montage set to like imagine dragons or something) so like fuck it lets go with kaitlyn dever the dear evan hansen lady again she can get her check and get out

Hinoto oh god im trying to avoid spoilers for these but like....im actually putting reese Witherspoon here because i remembered who i wanted for karen so BUT ANYWAYS they do it its split its every bad DID movie youve ever seen im so sorry

Arashi okay i have a vision here this time they swap arashi and soratas genders arashi is now a dude and sorata is a lady for pretty much no reason but omg sword? Lets make arashi a man so they can be another stoic edgy boy for the collection. I think they get simu liu fress off the marvel presses and he gets absolutely nothing to work with because they looked at arashi and were like okay theyre just 😐 100% of the time and thats theyre only deal

Sorata is awkwafina because they do let sorata be comic relief but also thats all they are now but also theyre not funny at all </3 except theyre also kamuis new love interest 🥺🥺🥺 and they kiss at the climax where the power of love saves the day and everyone hugs it out and like idk they solve climate change. Also they let sorata be bi but its in blink and you miss it stuff like the shit they pulled with loki and everyone calls it amazing representation

Karen is anya taylor joy and they cannot handle her being a sex worker well AT ALL she has to be saved by motherhood to nataku 🥺🥺🥺🥺 where she quits her job and like idk starts a daycare or some shit in the epilogue

Subaru god i just want to cast nick Robinson from love simon again sorry hes typecast as milquetoast white gay to me which is what they make subaru his entire personality is pining after Seishirou like hes not even really kamuis brother figure hes just some guy here :(

Yuzuriha and aoki dont exist sorry they have to make cuts somewhere </3

Nataku is brianna hildebrand because when you suggested the hollywood nonbinary is a cis girl with a buzzcut she came to mind because she was negasonic teenage warhead in deadpool so xyqvzu1vziwjs they probably let nataku be nonbinary but they dont say it and probably use she/her pronouns more than half the time and they definitely 100% have karen call them her daughter at some point

Seishirou is armie hammer hes got experience with predatory age gap gay relationships after call me by your name so hes getting typecasted now too and because timothee chalamet his former co star is on the cast kamui...kamui x Seishirou becomes popular online :(

Kanoe....and this is the big one...kanoe is scarlett Johansson who is managing somehow to whitewash harder than the rest of the white cast. I think they keep all her sexy dresses and flirting with ppl and shit but like...and this one hurts...they make her a predatory lesbian stereotype with satsuki and shes the big bad irredeemable villain they kill to solve climate change or whatever and then satsuki marries yuto and they live happily ever after in a big old nuclear family

Satsuki is kristen wiig basically just being cheetah from wonder woman 1984 all over again and its worse this time and shes basically just there so kanoe can be a big old evil lesbian to a cishet woman and they definitely make jokes like just because i have short hair doesnt mean im a lesbian 🤪🤪🤪 and everyone insists this cant be homophobic because they made seisub canon and thats gay so!!!

Yuto is here i was gonna cut him but hes satsukis love interest and he definitely defects out of love for satsuki and he wants to kill kanoe to get her away from satsuki and its portrayed as really heroic. It doesnt matter who he is he sucks so like lets go with chris evans. Also they make a ton of aquaman jokes.

They cut the rest of the dragons of earth sorry

Other points

They completely cut all the references to shrines and stuff like sorata being Buddhist and basically just make it a standard magic system EXCEPT for arashi because they didnt whitewash them which ends up being worse than if they never tried at all

I do think m night shyamalan would kill to direct this

No one dies except kanoe and maaaybe fuuma if fuuma dies he redeems himself right before the end so its so sad like think kylo ren or some shit

Takes place 100% in new york

Add your own to make it worse :)

#Clamp #X/1999 #Ask to tag #Im so sorry #Fancast #Idk i feel like i should have a tag for these since ppl keep asking me for them wy2vswinslq

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finiteuniverse13 · 4 years ago

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Bravo's Banned List

With the help of @bravo-four-seal-team, @@jayhalsteadfan-2417 and @rebelwrites, we made a list.

A list, posted on various walls throughout the Naval base, the plane and the cage room. About 1/3 of it is typed up, the rest is in hastily written pen. Made by Blackburn to try and corral Bravo. It's doing its best.

Tag: @rebelwrites @chibsytelford @bravo-four-seal-team @velvetcardiganbucky @supervalcsi @abby-splace @itsonautopilot @thegirlwhoisalwayswriting @pinkrockstar19 @softi92 @mrsmarvelous1995 @jayhalsteadfan-2417

Just so you're all aware, this is a 6.5-page document.

0: On the days of Adam and Swanny’s Death, leave the group be to remember them. I will not protect you.

1: Brock Is Not Allowed Coffee. No exceptions.

1.1: Do not leave Metal alone with Brock when Coffee is around.

2: Dick jokes are not required in briefings

3: If a single one of you bastards get between me and my coffee, we will be having issues

5: You made the dog sad; you die.

8: DO NOT GIVE THEM NERF GUNS

9: WHO THE HELL GAVE THEM WATER GUNS

9.1: STICKS DO NOT GIVE THEM STICKS THEY WILL PRETEND THEY ARE GUNS

10: Dirt bikes (don’t ask)

11: ARCHERY IS A BIG NO

12: FISHING. WHY AM I BANNING FISHING

13: Fire. That is all

14: KNIVES. WHY ARE YOU GIVING THEM KNIVES?

15: LADDERS (NEVER AGAIN)

16: PLASTIC CUTLERY ONLY UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES GIVE THEM METAL CUTLERY

16.1: Scratch that, they stab people with the metal cutlery. Let them suffer the consequences of their actions. They can eat with their hands.

17: MEMES ARE NOT ALLOWED IN THE MEETING ROOM

18: Horse riding. (METAL IT IS NOT A TACTICAL DISMOUNT ITS CALLED FALLING AND GETTING A CONCUSSION)

19: BOY BANDS (not allowed to be played on the plane)

19.1: GIRL BANDS (for the love of god, they will try and imitate them)

19.2 RAP MUSIC (they think they are the next Eminem and will make your ears bleed)

20: Do not tell Jason he is not allowed to do something. He finds a way to do it

20.1: Apparently Ray will do the exact same without question

21: Do not leave any members of the team with upper brass. (How did you make an Admiral with years of combat CRY!)

22: Clay is under Jason’s protection don’t go after him they will not find your body

22.1: If Clay calls Jason dad just leave it ok

22.2: Actually, check on Jason, he’s been standing staring for the past hour now

23: Hairdryers are banned (HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET YOUR BEARD CAUGHT SONNY)

24: Only Trent is allowed to call Metal by his legal first name. Ensign Williams learnt that one the hard way.

25: Paintball is banned from the base the last time it was extreme and got violent

26: The transformers movies because clay tried to do a stunt it ended badly

27: Thumbtacks apparently

28: Any Marvel movie (Jason you’re not Captain America)

28.1: DC movies are out as well

28.2: Disney Princess movies as well (don’t ask)

30: Do not leave phone unlocked around Sonny, he will not hesitate to change everything

36: DO NOT LET THEM GET SO DRUNK THEY START SINGING. IF I HEAR IN THE NAVY ONE MORE TIME, I WON'T BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR MY ACTIONS

37: IF THERE IS SILENCE DROP EVERYTHING AND START HUNTING AND PANICKING

38: Grenade launchers are not required for every mission Trent

39: WHO GAVE METAL A SWORD

42: Yes, Clay does know an Admiral by name. Don't ask questions you don't want answers to.

45: If Clay starts angrily ranting in a foreign language, don't worry. He's thinking out loud, not plotting to destroy the base

45.1: If Clay is calmly talking in a foreign language just back away slowly

48: SpongeBob is a Bad Idea because they are way too Annoying and make References (I’m looking at you, Clay)

52: Sharpies. When I find whoever gave me this sharpie tattoo sleeve, there will be hell to pay

56: DO NOT LET CLAY HAVE A GRIMM REAPER OUTFIT! THIS IS THE THIRD TIME HES NEARLY GIVEN SONNY AND TRENT A HEART ATTACK AT 3 AM

57: Red paint. I went to check something at 3 am and Clay was painting a satanic ritual on the floor

58: 3 am checks are a bad idea. (I have seen things, people!)

62: Explosives are to be locked away when not on mission Sonny and Clay will try and play catch with a live homewrecker

62.1: I expected Metal as a Master Chief to know better - he falls under the same rule as Clay and Sonny.

63: Don't wake Clay when he is sleeping back away slowly and leave the room

64: If I'm sleeping, back away and leave the room. Interrupt me if they've broken a rule, or if the base is actively being bombed. If not, I don't care.

65: Have multiple phone chargers or they will disappear and you’re not getting them back

68: If you call Clay anything other than a nickname expect to get punched or stabbed or sniped in the ass when least expected

68.1: Metal will stab you. Please remember he has a shovel and lye in his truck (WHY DO YOU HAVE IT)

68.2: Don't try to take the shovel and lye off of Metal

69: NEVER say the number 69 around them they are all immature children and expect tongue in cheek comments

70: NEVER interrupt Sonny when he is eating breakfast, he is grumpy in the morning

72: If they are all asleep make no sound - YOU WAKE THEM THEY ARE YOUR PROBLEM NOT MINE

73: For the love of god, stop giving Clay earth mineral nicknames. This is the third time this week I've watched Sonny empty limestone dust from his pack

75: Do not give them hammers! What is wrong with you people?

79: Do Not talk to Trent unless it’s after 2 coffees

83: For the love of god, don't ask Metal if he ever did nude modelling in art school. He will begin stripping, literally anywhere

91: Cerberus is a good boy and you hurt Brock you die

98: Super Glue (never again)

99: MY COFFEE IS OFF LIMITS WHOEVER PUT SALT IN IT WILL PAY

100: Do not give in to their peer pressure while they are drunk, I will not be doing it again

100.1: WHY AM I HEARING IN THE NAVY AGAIN?!

100.2: Sweet Caroline won't work twice

100.3: WHY ARE YOU SINGING BARBIE

100.4: SONNY, CLAY IS NOT A BARBIE GIRL

103: Don't tell Sonny he looks good in pink because you better believe he will keep wearing it (and probably some girl clothes too) to keep getting compliments

114: I ALREADY WROTE SUPER GLUE WHY DO I NEED TO WRITE IT AGAIN

115: HAIR DYE (Why did you dye Metal and Trent’s hair pink?!)

115.1: Face paint (Sonny, their faces did not need to match their hair)

116: Do NOT touch Clay, Charlie team learnt that, and someone ended up nearly losing a finger. (And it wasn’t because of the dog)

117: If they offer you a drink whilst smirking DO NOT take it

118: Sea shanties – if I hear one more SEA SHANTY while we are FLYING

119: If you hear someone shout incoming, run, it’s not an attack, it is Bravo, someone has done something and they’re coming to tell me

120: Vegemite is not allowed in the base after Jason let Clay eat it

121: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (JASON I DONT CARE IF YOU THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY TO ACT LIKE LEO IT WAS A BAD MOVE)

122: Hawaii 5-0, if I hear one more thing about how we should hang people of the rook of buildings I am going to shoot someone

124: Mortal Kombat (Clay was acting like Scorpion for a month)

130: Itching Powder (looking at you Brock)

131: DO NOT TOUCH JASONS TOMATOES - you will get a bamboo cane jammed into your thigh

134: Capes - YOU ARE NOT SUPERMAN CLAY STOP PRETENDING YOU CAN FLY BY JUMPING OFF THE HOOCHES

134.1: Edna Mode said NO CAPES - I EXPECT NO CAPES WORN BY ANYONE ON MY TEAM

138: Laser Tag is fun until someone gets hurt (Sonny and Clay you know what happened)

138.1: Laser Tag! (Ray needed to go to the hospital guys, come on)

143: Basketball. My nose will never be straight again.

144: Bravo and Ice skates don’t mix (the only person good on them is Jason but no other member of Bravo is allowed on the ice again)

144.1: Same goes for rollerblades

145: Ash Spencer is not allowed to be alone with Clay (Jason punched him last time he was on base)

145.1: Do not leave Jason, Metal or Sonny alone with Ash Spenser, it’s going to end up with a murder charge.

146: Clay is Jason’s adopted kid and needs to be supervised when Jason is away

151: SLIME - FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DONT GIVE THEM SLIME

152: GLITTER WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE

153: SCISSORS - Jase cut a chunk of Clay’s hair in the night now the base is a war zone

153.1: DONT FUCK WITH COVERBOY'S HAIR see point 68 for consequences

154: NAIR (why do you even have it?)

156: Call Of Duty (Clay must be supervised when playing it)

157: Do Not leave Clay unattended with Metal (They are both recovering from the ONE CHIP/DEATH CHIP Challenge)

158: Marshmallows (don’t ask)

163: The Hunger Games (are not a good training exercise)

164: The Olympus Has Fallen movies are not allowed to be mentioned in any given time)

173: If you mention the word ice-cream just run, run for your life

176: If I am sleeping STOP THROWING PAPER AT ME

177: Yelling FOR NARNIA is not an appropriate battle cry

178: The Fast And Furious movies (Clay you are not Brian so stop)

182: Nap time is important if their asleep do something else but if you wake them run like hell

190: Any movies about WAR are BANNED (I need a drink to talk about that one)

200 (From Bravo): Blackburn isn't allowed any more paper

200.1 (From Bravo): or pens

200.2: (Blackburn) Handcuffs. They handcuffed me to my desk and wrote that

200.3 (Blackburn): Bravo will not be allowed to tell their Commanding Officer what to do

202: Who keeps giving them superglue? This is the 8th time we are having to unglue Sonny and Clay’s hands

203: Do not let any of them take point on Briefing EVER

205: Are you serious? Paperclips! Do not give them PAPERCLIPS

206: Leaving anyone unattended with fire is a bad idea - I can still smell burning

210: This is Sparta (Jason don't kick people off the roof)

210.1: JASON I SAID NO KICKING PEOPLE YOU DONT LIKE OFF THE ROOF

213: Ash Spenser is not allowed on base. DEVGRU heard about what kind of dad he is, and now its kill-on-sight

213.1: WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT ASH BEING ON BASE

214: Puppy dog eyes because Clay has been using them on anyone to get out of doing paperwork

215: RAY STOP DOING JASONS PAPERWORK

216: GO TO A HOSPITAL IF INJURED, TRENT HAS A LIFE OUTSIDE OF YOU LOT

217: THE GLEE CAST SOUNDTRACK IS NOT TO BE USED ON THE BASE

218: DO NOT PUT LION KING ON - they will cry like babies and there’s no consoling them over Mufasa

220: If I have to explain why BRAVO will not be joining teaching GREEN TEAM please see rule 1 and understand from that then ask the Green Team Instructor. (Brock terrified them by running the O Course in 30 minutes, all because someone gave him coffee)

220.1: And yes, that is the on the 50-minute-record O course. The time hasn’t been counted since it involved performance-enhancing substances

221: WHO THE HELL INTRODUCED THEM TO FROZEN

221.1 NO I DONT WANT TO BUILD A BLOODY SNOWMAN

221.2: WE WERE DEPLOYED TO SERBIA YOU BASTARDS

222: Gray’s anatomy (That is all)

227: VAPES - YOU DONT SMOKE AND ARE NOT PUFF THE MAGIC FUCKING DRAGON (clay I’m looking at you)

228: HATS ARE NOT ALLOWED IN BRIEFINGS (Sonny you know what you did)

229: MAGIC MIKE AND MAGIC MIKE XXL (still haunts my dreams)

233: I am begging you can you please BE NICE TO THE FLEET ADMIRAL (it's the 3rd time he's left in tears)

234: Chocolate - just run ok

235: Please stop re-enacting the screen from titanic when we are on a boat (I’m looking at you Brock)

235: PIZZA NIGHT IS A FREE FOR ALL AND IF YOU DONT WANT A BROKEN NOSE JUST BACK AWAY

236: Jokes. JOKES ARE BANNED - IF I NEED TO EXPLAIN WHY I WON'T BE HAPPY – NO ITS NOT FINE TO JOKE ABOUT THE FACT YOU HAVE BEEN STABBED CLAY

236.1: STAB WOUNDS ARE NOT ADDITIONAL POCKETS

237: Monopoly got violent last time and Jason got punched

237.1: In fact, any board games turn violent even snakes and ladders

237.2: Board games. Just please stop playing board games

240: Why am I revisiting the nerf guns people? IT WAS A FAMILY BARBECUE! (You lot need to learn to let your kids win!)

241: Brock is banned from Cooking - I do not want food poisoning again

244: WE DO NOT NEED A FLASH MOB EVERY TIME DONT STOP MOVING BY SCLUB 7 COMES ON

246: If they pass out around the fire pit for the love of god move them Clay and Sonny tend to like melting the sole of their boots on the flames even when passed out

251: Plastic cups only (this rule is to stop sonny from smashing them)

254: Why am I needing to revisit Sharpies? They aren’t allowed them, give them Crayola's or crayons

254.1: Scrap that YOU CAN’T EAT THE CRAYONS

256: Clay you are not Spiderman get off the walls

257: WHO GAVE COFFEE TO BROCK!!

257.1: THIS IS RULE ONE ON THE LIST WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

258: Don't mention Hawaii five 0 just don't

258.1: They will attempt the intro to it, it’s just painful

259: Don't mention Harry Potter because they will all cry over different characters deaths

287: Soup is now banned (Ray. I honestly thought you were the normal one of the team. I am disappointed)

321: If you see Clay and Sonny cuddling just walk away, pretend you didn’t see anything, one of them had a bad day and the other is the only one they will confine in

322: Don't mention the Philippines or India just don't

330: If Metal and Trent are talking, just leave them be. (No one wants to know if Metal is yelling about something stupid Trent did)

331: Popcorn is not allowed on base it ended up in everyone's gear

342: Non-Aerosol Deodorant. (Two of them tried to eat it before realising it wasn't edible)

344: Aerosol Deodorant. (Metal and Sonny used it with lighters. to create a flamethrower)

344.1: Side note LIGHTERS ARE BAD

345: Headphones. DO NOT ASK

346: Rubber bands are not slingshots

FINAL NOTE: FROM BRAVO - BLACKBURN LOVES US REALLY PLEASE IGNORE THE ABOVE LIST ITS ALL LIES

#seal team #eric blackburn #clay spenser #cerberus #pepper #brock reynolds #trent sawyer #sonny quinn #ray perry #jason hayes #fanfic #cross published on ao3 #we wrote this in maybe 2 hours #it probably shows #chaos #discord chaos #discord friends #discord nonsense

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jennrypan · 3 years ago

Text

I rewrote the part where Scourge and Sonic have that "Just like me convo" so it can fit my au of them.

____________________

Fiona cheating on him with his anti didnt make Sonic angry..

Fiona actively lying to him didnt piss him off, maybe annoyed him..but it didnt piss him off.

What did piss him off however was how she antagonized Amy and Tails, and how she seemed to preen at the slightest attention Scourge gave her..because she wanted someone to protect her..someone to care about her, he didnt know..and what set him off was how she slapped Tails away, mocked him for crying and all to impress his anti!

"What the hell Fiona!?"

Sonic snapped, though this just caused the vixen to roll her eyes before she looked at him..god her attitude was grating his nerves,

"What?" She mused as if she didnt just slap his best friend for no reason,

That ..that made him scowl, and without warning he moved- he wanted to actually..throw her, her attitude annoyed him, her disregard for his friends pissed him off- he hadnt accounted for Scourge actually protecting her, as when he moved..so did the green hedgehog and before he could touch Fiona a fist crushed into his cheek causing him to let out a sharp grunt and lose his footing for a brief minute, instantly turning his attention towards Scourge..he still had that same sleazy smile..taunting.

"Bad move, blue."

Scourge drawled out, and Sonic just clicked his tongue watching as Scourge slowly paced around him..hes been itching to fight him for who knows how long..that much Sonic knew, but Sonic just hummed,

"Oh so you can help other people besides yourself, I was beginning to worry you had no redeeming qualities!" He stated sounding visibly amused,

Scourge just scoffed lowly, "Please, thats not a redeemin quality, raise your standards." He sneered, and without warning he ran forward..and the fight began.

Amy had since charged at Fiona but Sonic could barely focus on that as Scourge kept matching him blow for blow..only thing was Scourge was a lot more violent..a lot more aggressive.

It wasnt everyday Sonic worked up a sweat fighting an opponent as not many people matched his speed..Shadow and Metal were the only ones..now Scourge had been added to that list of people that seem to want to kill him for no reason.

"Jeez its hard to believe someone so bitter could be me, like damn dude, did your favorite jacket get discontinued?"

Even during this fight Sonic didnt stop being taunting, as he landed on top of a rock- narrowly avoiding being kicked into a tree, watching as Scourge turned towards him, his eyes were surprisingly still shielded by his shades but Sonic could still feel him glaring at him,

Scourge moved again and this time he successfully swiped Sonics legs from underneath him and when Sonic fell the blue hedgehog instinctively moved to the side as Scourges fist came crashing into the floor were his head had previously been,

"Lets see you keep makin jokes when I break your fuckin legs." Scourge hissed- despite his words he sounded delighted by the thought, pleased with the thought of hurting him and hes use to this from Shadow and Metal, they were both assholes who worked with Eggman on their worst days and they just genuinely didnt like him that much but Scourge? Theyve only met three times before this and he didnt remember antagonizing the male enough to make him want to hurt him that much-

Scourge charged forward once more and Sonic quickly moved to the side, arm pulling back before he crashed his fist into the side of Scourges face as he had done to him earlier..knocking the shades from his face which caused his anti to pause briefly, glancing down at the shades for a millisecond as they landed on the floor, cracked and lopsided.

That millisecond was soon forgotten as Scourge retaliated..his body moved lower and his leg rose before he kicked Sonic straight in the chest causing the male to grunt, stumbling back at the force but the kick wasnt enough as Scourge had soon punched him in the stomach,

"God- I still got a few more jokes- first, those shades were lame anyways- not a joke but a fact!"

Sonic stated quickly, jumping out of the way from Scourge once more as the male just growled,

"Im not takin shit from someone who thinks 'Way past cool' is a thing people actually say!" Scourge retorted,

"Hey people said it before!"

"No ones ever said that shit before!"

It went on like this for what seemed like a few minutes with both of them arguing with each other, Sonic just wanted to see exactly why Scourge was going out of his way to hurt him- even trying to actually break his leg if he was given the chance..the rage was so weird..he knew antis were different but he didnt expect his anti to be so..angry, so violent- his anti seemed more like a very verbal Shadow with the way he kept attacking him,

"Ya know being an asshole isnt as rewarding as ya think it is right?"

Sonic questioned- grunting when he got into a tree, thankfully avoiding Amy as she chased Fiona around still, she had tried to help but Fiona kept distracting her.

"Pfft, its more rewardin than wastin my time saving a buncha useless dicks who dont deserve it!" Scourge replied, sounding amused by the sheer thought of saving someone else...Sonic couldnt imagine not wanting to save people..yeah sometimes he thought some people didnt deserve it but still,

"Youre still a Sonic! Still me- you should want to at least try and help people!"

"Why? Cuz thats what you do?"

Scourge just laughed and without warning he moved forward..punched him in the stomach, then his chest- he didnt wait for a retaliation as he kicked him into a tree, he found with the purpose to bruise and scar while Sonic fought to distance and distract-

His head spun for a split moment, the wind knocked out of him,

"You dont get it! Rulin people with fear and hate, is soo much better than tryna be some glorified saint!"

Scourge stated, his eyes were blazing..the rage was back..he looked nothing like him right now..something was off, Sonic didn't like how unhinged he was, how cruel-

"That isnt true, and it never will be."

Sonic declared and Scourge just sneered at him, laughing, fist pulling back as Sonic quickly moved from his spot, his knuckles slammed into bark instead of Sonics nose,

"When you finally realize not everyone deserves to be saved, when you see how much more freein it is to be above people than to depend on them- you'll be like me, all it takes is one bad day, one bad situation and you'll see that." Scourge hummed out, side stepping as Sonic went to kick him, only to have his leg grabbed and he was forcefully thrown down, causing him to grunt lowly, and without warning Scourge stepped on his chest, Sonic could only stare at him for a brief moment before he just grinned-

"Thats where your wrong dude, a bad day doesnt just make someone a villain..but a good day? A good day could change a lot, all it takes is someone showing you an ounce of kindness, someone showin you the love you never got and you'll be like me, a good person..maybe even a hero." He stated, grinning.

He expected another mocking laugh instantly, expecting Scourges foot to press down but for a brief minute..the green hedgehog paused, eyes widening ever so slightly, and for that minute Sonic was sure he got to him..he knew deep down Scourge wasnt evil, he could just show him he didnt have to be like this, he could help him..he didnt know anything about his anti besides the fact something was severely wrong with his mental state and he took too much enjoyment in hurting him but he knew he wasnt evil.

Then.. the green hedgehog just smiled, his expression hardening as if it hadnt changed in the first place,

"How naive."

He sneered and that slowly shattered Sonics hopes of getting through to him..he just dismissed his words-

"Not naive..hopeful." Sonic retorted, moving his arm to grab his ankle but his foot had moved towards his neck and Sonic jolted- the malice in his eyes was so..floundering..he could never imagine that look on his own face.

"Same thing." Scourge stated dismissively, and Sonic didnt get the chance to reply as a blur of yellow and brown crashed into Scourge, pushing the older teen to the ground successfully allowing Sonic to sit up instantly,

"Get away from him you bully!" Tails screamed, Sonic heard Scourge cursing and soon Tails was thrown back, causing Sonic to quickly move to catch him.

"Thanks bud." Sonic murmured, staring at Scourge who just fixed his jacket- appearing inconvenienced as Fiona neatly landing besides him as Amy ran up next to Sonic, "Stop running you coward!" The pink hedgehog hissed, Scourge just plucked out a warp ring from his jacket, just smiling at Sonic.. His smile was so..mean looking, it was too sharp..too fake,

"Til next time blue."

Was all Scourge said in a sing song like voice as he let Fiona into the portal first and he followed quickly after just as Amy chucked her hammer in their direction, who she was aiming at specifically he had no clue.

"Dammit! Stupid! Assholes, ugh!" Amy screamed, storming over to snatch her hammer up,

"Theyre such bullies! Why did I even like her!" Tails exclaimed, Sonic just frowned before he sighed quietly, glancing from Amy to Tails.

"Lets just go, theyre gone now, might as well enjoy the peace." He stated with a simple shrug, giving them a small smile, the smile made Amy visibly melt while it comforted Tails slightly, the young pink hedgehog was at his side instantly, clutching his arm- which he allowed for the time being while Tails was a little slower to approach him, still dejected.

He knew his anti despised him but he'll never get the reason why, and unfortunately..Scourge was too far gone to talk down from whatever path he was taking..the friendly route was no longer an option.

#j.p writes #sonic one shot #sonic au #sonic the hedgehog #scourge the hedgehog #tails the fox #amy rose #sonamy if you squint #archie comies #archie sonic #not shippy. cuz no #scourge get therapy challenge #sonic rewrite

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jae-daddy · 4 years ago

Text

magic

draco malfoy fanfic

two / three / four / five / six

they said i did something bad. then whys it feel so good? forgive me, jaebum for i have sinned. i dont even know if this is a joke at this point... oh lord

pairing: draco malfoy x reader genre: shifting realities, romance, a whole fucking joke as clown shit plot: you were trying to shift realities for the lols but end up in actual harry potter world and meet Draco Malfoy, who ends up helping you, and you are also a filthy muggle. an: i dont know. i dont know. i dont know. not edited

_____________________________________________

"Who are you?” He asked, looking over to you from the edge of his bed. Predictably his whole room was black and the darkest shade of green; he sure did have house pride.

But he sure as hell was terrifying too.

You didn’t think it’ll work. You didn’t know it would work this well. You thought it’d be a mini trip, like a daydream or something. This isn’t what you had imagined.

You were actually there.

You felt the warmth of his room, you felt the thickness of the air. The smell of his cologue hanging in the air, mixed with something else almost chocking you. Your toes felt the hard floor beneath your feet.

This couldn’t have worked.

“Are you deaf?” The white haired villan smirked at you, he wasn’t scared. Why would he be; this was his house, his room. “I asked what your name is?”

“My name is y/n,” you blurted, your head still trying to wrap around what was happening. You tried saying something else, but you were stammering, your throat closing around your voice.

“Y/n.” He repeated, a permanent sneer on his face. He gently threw the book in his hand, and began walking towards to you. He was graceful, etheral; taking his time with every action.

You stood there, in the middle of his room. Your palms sweaty, your heart racing, and your throat running dry.

“And what are you doing here?” He gave a chilling smile, making icy claws run down your back.

“I-” you tried to answer, but you couldn’t. You couldn’t find the words, and your eyes began burning with threatening tears.

You were just trying to shift realities as a joke. You thought it would be like a dream. This wasn’t a dream.

You knew it wasn’t.

It was real, and you were here.

Draco Malfoy was standing infront of you. You were in his room, in his mansion.

And then another thought hit you, making you feel sick.

You were going to die.

He snorted as he stopped in front of you. His fingers wrapping around his wand placed on his waist.

You choked back the sob that was threatening to escape.

“How did you get into my room?” He placed the cool tip under your chin, making you look into his icy cold eyes. He was goregoues.

Draco Malfoy was beautiful, and he was going to kill you.

“Answer me.” His jaw locked in anger, and you almost fell onto his feet to beg for your life.

“I shifted,” you managed through your stuttering words. “I shifted realities.

“I didn’t know it would be like this though,” you moved away from his wand, and settled on his armchair before your weakened knees gave away. “I swear, it was not meant to be like this. I was still supposed to be at home.”

Maybe if you end it you’ll go back.

You tried to think of ways to end it. You clapped three times.

“Take me back!” Nothing.

“End!” Nothing.

“Please end this, take me back.” You prayed, but nothing.

Draco looked at you, terrified.

“What are you doing?” He asked you, getting your attention. “What do you mean shifting realities?”

“It’s this trend on tiktok-”

“Tiktok?” His very british accent made you smile a little. “What is that?”

“Its an app, and there is that whole side that is dedicated to you-”

“What are you babbling on about?” He cut you off, his eyes blazing now. He strided over to you, and you shrunk in your seat.

“Draco,” you breathed, and his eyes widened.

“How do you know my name?” But then it turned into an angry sneer as he clicked his tongue. “You’re at my house, of course you know my name.”

“What year is this?” You gulped, looking up to Draco as he studied you.

“Don’t ask me questions.” He warned you, his voice low. “Who are you and what are you doing here? This is the last time I am asking nicely.”

You believed him.

“I am y/n, and I accidently shifted realities and ended up in Harry Potter universe.”

“Potter?” Draco hissed. “You know Potter?”

“Yeah, like I know you, Draco Malfoy.”

“But I don’t know you,” he looked at you puzzled.

“Exactly,” you breathed. “You don’t, but I know you. I’ve seen you and I know what’s happening. Just tell me what year it is.”

“Its 1988, are you mental?”

“I don’t even know what that means,” you whimpered at how stupid you were. You hadn’t even read any of the books. You’ve just seen the movies once, and then many clips of Draco. “Oh God.”

“Has the tournament thing happened?” You asked, searching for landmarks you recognised. “Has Voldemort returned?”

Draco froze at that, his eyes hardening as he took you in. You were dressed in your black joggers, black, green and white striped top, your hair messy and wild, and fuzzy pink socks on your feet.

“What are you?” he gritted from his teeth.

“A human?” you bit your lip.

He gave so much shit to Hermonine for being half-magically. You were a muggle, a normal magicless human through and through. He was going to kill you. He was going to hand you over to them.

“What academy do you attend?”

“Uh, none,” you breathed, as tears filled your eyes. “I don’t have magic.”

Draco stared at you in shock, before a sinister smile itched his lips.

“I am a muggle,” you got up from the chair, slowly moving back. Draco followed your steps, tracing you like a predator.

“Please,” you breathed as a tear fell from your eyes. “Please don’t kill me.”

He instantly stopped and frowned at that.

“Don’t hand me to them, they will kill me.”

Draco reached for his wand, and you instantly closed your eyes and thought of love.

You thought of GOT7, of Jaebum, of hot summer days by the beach, of your family, your friends. Your favourite movie, the first boy you liked, the pink flowers you could see from your window marking the beginning of spring. You thought everything that made you feel warm and happy, and hoped it was enough.

You hoped it was enough love.

“What are you doing?” He stopped and asked you. You opened your tightly squeezed eyes and looked at his cold glare.

“I was thinking of love,” you gulped, your sweaty palms a fidgetting mess.

Draco’s eyes widened as he gaped at you, the corners of his lips twitching as if he was trying to keep himself from laughing.

“I’m sorry, you’re what?” He asked in disbelief, a beautiful smile on his face despite his attempt to stop it.

Your heart stopped as butterflies erupted in your tummy. You were about to die, but you still couldn’t stop fangirling about Draco Malfoy and that beautiful smile he was giving you.

“Love, you know, it’s like the greatest magic, right?” You explained, your words stumbling out of you faster than you could register. “I’ve seen it in movies, and books! That’s how Feyre saved Tamlin the Asshole; the answer was love. It always is love. You know, love- that’s how Harry survived Voldemort.”

Draco looks at you in shock, before a deep laugh erupts from him. He throws his head back, his hands on his thighs, his wand limp, as his shoulders shook and tears filled his eyes.

“You’re a real work of art, aren’t you?” He laughed, as he looked at you through the curtain of his blonde hair. He slightly sobered and stood up, his lips still turned upwards. “I haven’t laughed that hard in so long. Thank you for that,” he smiled, and you gave him a small smile, despite your shivering heart.

“But, sorry love,” he gave you a loopsided smirk. “You’ll have to leave now.”

“I don’t know how,” you whispered at him, but his smiled just grew.

“Maybe, I can help,” he brought out his wand, most likely about to kill you.

“Ener-” Draco lifted his wand to you, when a loud knock banged against the door.

“Draco!” Lucius Malfoy called, the handle of his door jiggled.

Draco looked at your wide fear-struck eyes and then back at the door.

“How many times have I told you not to lock your door boy?”

“Evanesco!” Draco quickly whispered as he threw a blanket over you, and pushed you into his closet.

“Keep quiet.” He muttered, closing the door, just as his father walked in.

It felt as if the winter walked with Lucius Malfoy. The whole room was covered in a blanket of a spine-chilling cold as his shoes and stick clacked against the hard floor.

“Father,” Draco said, his voice calm.

“How many times have I told you not to lock your door?” Lucius slowly spoke with distaste. “Or to not wear that nonsense on your ears?”

Headphones? Your brows furrowed together.

“Sorry, Father,” was all Draco said.

“Your mother and I are going to attend a dinner of great importance,” he spoke, stopping right in front of the closet. Your heart hammered against your chest, and you stopped breathing. You were too scared to even blink. “Would you like to join us? Your company would be appreciated.”

Draco took a moment to reply, and then finally answered, “You and mother go, I have a lot to prepare for school.” Lucius must have raised an eyebrow in question.

“I want to study ahead so I can focus on other activities when Hogwarts resumes.” Draco quickly added.

After what felt like an eternity, Lucius finally said “Very well.”

And walked out.

The door clicked shut, but you didn’t move.

He waited two whole minutes before he finally moved again.

He opened the closet, and took the blanket off your head. You looked up to find Draco crouching infront you, a smirk on his lips.

“What are we to do about you now, you filthy muggle?” He asked, his lips curled in a sneer, but his eyes shone with concern and panic.

You didn’t know. You really didn’t know.

But you were happy that it didn’t seem like Draco Malfoy would be killing you anytime soon.

#draco malfoy #draco #draco x y/n #bro I don't even know #jaedaddy #I really dont know #but I just can't not #you know #this is written so bad #im just here for the ride #harry potter

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gale-gentlepenguin · 4 years ago

Text

Gale Reviews: Miraculous World: New York

(The following review contains spoilers, and if you would like to not be spoiled, I would recommend watching the episode before reading)

(I had to pause a LOT to get through this special)

-Oh s*** Cosmo bug and Astro Noir. That is so cool.

-Okay maybe its my audio, but their voices seem a bit deeper. No big, just something I noticed.

-Okay the yellow flower was cute. Good on you kitty.

- Also, side note. This is very nice animation. Very crisp.

- Marinette is moving on... kinda. Well, she is trying. Its not easy getting over someone you have a thing for. I guess that means Miracle Queen did happen and I will need to suck it up. But.... I am not moving on yet either.

- The puppet show was perfection. And honestly on par with what you would expect from middle school projects. (I almost thought it was the adults showing them and was like WTF)

-BACK THE F***. Madame Bustier is PREGNANT! PREGNANT?! I am so lost? What is the story!? Who is the father! Is she married? Is it artificial insemination! Is it the principal?

-Adrien so moved by Marinette’s outburst of Friendship. Marinette ‘Just a friend’ Dupain-Cheng is going the Tia Gardner method of friendship. Lol

-Marinette ready to fight and Gabriel just like ‘Yea sure whatever’ (Gabriel’s smile murders puppies)

- Kagami trying to cheer adrien up. If you love adrigami, get that juice. (That looked like a kiss kiss, but the angle seemed off, so I am not counting it that way.)

- Kitty Clicker is wonderful. This entire scene is gold.

- Gorrilla doesnt like planes, poor baby

- Plagg, you are a devious little s***. I love you so much. As a writer, his dialogue on how to convince adrien is so devilish its amazing. Using technicalities to tempt adrien.

-Lukanette shippers get your juice... even if it was still tainted a bit by Adrien inclusion. You still get a kiss.

- Okay, can we appreciate that Adrien is also having the same amount of trouble as Marinette moving on, but also include Guilt into the equation? I love this because you KNOW Chat noir is going to get an ear full later.

-Marinette has totally moved on from Adrien.... Oh my poor sweet little girl. You havent. You havent even a little. This ride is litterally the reverse of Startrain and its amazing. Alya is NOT helping. Also, give the person that drew Marinette’s Daydreams a f***ing raise. They earned it

-Marinette pulling herself OUT of the situation. Now adrien is slightly bummed out. Well i am sure that this is the last awkward experience with Adrien she will have. It isnt like the two of them will get lost in NY together... thats whats gonna happen isnt it?

-Marinette walking past all the couples sleeping together. JULROSE GET YOUR JUICE!!!

-Ah yes, nothing like watching the sunset with your good friend. Yes, you good pal, Adrien. Who is Just a friend. Wow, the realization that Marinette used the word friend in this movie more times then Adrien did in the entire series so far. (Or at the very least close)

- Adrien, STOP! Marinette is trying to move on from you! Stop making it so damn difficult for her. (I am not serious, i am eating this s*** up like Sushi)

-Nino confirms he loves Adrien. ADRINO COME GET YOUR JUICE! But yea, I feel alya and Nino’s pain. So they are going to help them both.

-Adrienette hugs. Yes, good.

-And thank goodness for Techno Pirate! Saving everyone from awkwardness by trying to bring down a plane... thats heading for NY...

-OH SWEET! BATMAN RIP OFF AND Captain Marvel rip off! And their sidekicks, Robin rip off and... Medusa girl? Okay Neat.

-Jokes aside, Majestia and Night Owl are boss as hell.

-Wow, I know that Ladybug and Chat noir got powerups now. But these United Heroes make their powers look so bland in comparison.

-Get rekt France!

-ADRIEN! DONT USE YOUR PHONE ON AN AIRPLANE! Well, unless he is using the in flight wifi, then he good.

-How come New York has a f*** ton of superheroes in this universe? America really gets all the cool stuff regardless of what fictional universe your in.

- Why are the superheroes so keen on watching over Marinette’s class? Do they know? Do they know Marinette and Adrien are there? Or is it like they just want to prevent an international incident. PLEASE LET IT BE THE LATER.

- I have only had Aeon for 15 seconds and I would violently murder anyone who harms her.

-Oh my Sabrina! GET YOURSELF AN AMERICAN BOY! ... And Chloé is going to ruin the fun. Oof tough break roomies.

-The entire class! I cant even! Not even a second after the door closes they out to party on the roof!

-Aeon, “See? They are made for eachother!”

- Damn, now that’s some guitar playing! Plus Her design is boss as heck. America really just has better versions of EVERYTHING.

-American boy basically snuck in to see Sabrina! GET IT GIRL!

-HOTDOG SUPERHERO! WITH MAGIC HOTDOGS!!!!!! BEST NEW YORK EVER!

-Nino and Alya be tag teaming this!

-Wow Zag, you stuffing me full of Adrinette goodness. Gorilla is a beautiful sunflower.

- Marinette and Adrien havent been in the US 24 hours and they already have two shippers of them. Also, what do doors have against them?

-Jess is Shipping it too hard. “Lets put them in danger!”

-Jess is having way too much fun with this.

-Hawkmoth akumatizing an actual Super villain. FINALLY!

- “Wouldn’t you rather have an Atomic Bomb?” I love Techno pirate.

-”Super Heroes should never use their powers for personal gain.” Hmmm I wonder how this will back fire on everyone involved.

-”OH S*** HE STOLE THEIR CANNONS! BOOM GOES THE CANNONS!”

-Okay, I take back what I said, these heroes need some Miraculous asap.

- Ladybug is 100% justified in being angry with Chat Noir. It is his fault.

-AEON!!!! NO!!!!!!! Okay, guess i have to kill that techno pirate, and Chat noir

-MAJESTIA IS F***ING PISSED! WRECK HIM MAJESTIA!

- Seems they really hammering it in that Chat noir f***ed up. They right though, but at least Ladybug isnt angry enough to agree that Chat noir should give up his miraculous to some rando. FLEEING FROM THE LAW!

-So lucky charm can only fix damage due to specific villains. It cant fix things when the villain is gone or they are out of range. I always knew it had limitations, but damn. Chat noir REALLY screwed the pooch on this one.

-Adrien no! Oh s***! He cant just... I mean.... He can but...

__________

-Gabriel stole the Eagle! The Kwami of Freedom. The irony is so delicious here.

- So night Owl and Sparrow are both chick with Masculine superhero appearances. Thats actually pretty damn smart, great way to keep people off their identity.

-Welp, i am depressed. Adrien doesnt have Plagg.

-EVEN THE PRESIDENT IS A SUPER HERO! AMAZING!

- So an akumatized person can USE A MIRACULOUS WHILE AKUMATIZED! WHAT THE F*** THATS AWESOME. Also why didnt catalyst do that?

-Gabriel actually getting adrien out of there while before s*** hits the fan. That is actually kind of a decent parenting move. Granted he is going to cause it, but appreciate it.

-Marinette the bike thief is back! And she is an international criminal!

- She tried so hard. Welp I am glad that Marinette is clearly over... actually no. This trip made that clear.

-Liberation, Wow. That is the most American power I have ever seen. I LOVE IT.

- Okay, so I never thought i would say this. maybe there is such a thing as too much freedom? Or at least Freedom that lets you impede on Other people’s freedoms.

- I know what Zag is up to, and it is working. I want a tv series Of Jess and Aeon. They are wonderful.

-So Majestia can casually move the moon. Yea, thats amazing and terrifying! I love her.

-Quantum masking! So there is a glamor effect! I knew it! So Aeon knows who ladybug and Chat noir are.

-DID I F***ING MENTION I WOULD MURDER FOR AEON!

-aeon will never see Tikki or plagg. Thats so sad.

-At least Adrien learned an important lesson.

-Cute LADYNOIR REUNION

-The was clever, using the keychain

- Eagle jess is epic.

-and Majestia can catch missles. Considering she can move the moon. Not surprising.

-OH DAMN, Night owl and Sparrow are LEGACY HEROES! Thats like the Phantom, Or like Jojo.

-That was sweet of Marinette and the class.

-Oh so the guardian of those miraculous came back to claim it.

-But now sounds like the set up for a new series.

____________________________________________________________________

Overall, I did greatly enjoy this movie. Though there were times i wanted to know more, and times I wanted to know less. I know this takes place sometime during season 4, but the exact time is vague. It did tell a really cool story. It felt like a three episode saga combined into one. It was kind of interesting. And damn the drama was higher.

I give it a 7.5/10.

I would rate it up there with my favorite ML episodes.

#ml #miraculous ladybug #ml ny special #miraculous world:#New york #ml ny #ml spoilers #ml season 4 spoilers

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foryouthegays · 4 years ago

Text

hehe liveblogging a vod go brrr yes with timestamps who do u think i am

taken from “THE EVE OF THE REVOLUTION (dream smp)” stream on Technoblades channel

Laugh times: 49:00, 1:00:12, 1:40:55

Bu ba daaa times: 15:14

“you see, I had to stream at 12:05, i scheduled it, i made a vow to the gods” is the blood god youtube?? 0:50

“Page 1 of 100″ techno WhAT (3:50)

his voice is pretty today but i can HEAR it dying fjdkshla (his voice is pretty every day but shhhh

“‘hey can u tell my friend gavin hes a nerd’ gavin you SUCK get outta here gavin” techno chill 6:35

about his cough and stuff 6:55

“alright so basically, I went to the doctor, like a few weeks ago, and I- I think I know what the problem with me is, because I also- well I don’t think the cough is the main symptom, I think it’s something else, which I thought everyone experienced, but it turns out nope, that’s just me, it’s just me havin that symptom, and so I- I mean it’s not- it’s not a terrible thing to have, but you should probably- you’ll probably deal with it if you had it basically, not a big deal. but you know, if you just let it fester for years and years you’re probably going to have a problem. and so the doctor gives me medicine, and what the medicine does is it- it uh, it- it *stutters* inhibits stomach acid, so for like, I took the medicine for two weeks and my symptoms, they get a lot better! they- I, I’m coughing less! it’s incredible! my life is good! but then i stopped taking the medicine because the doctor told me to take it for two weeks and it turns out, stomach acid- i think its useful for at least one thing? i dont know. so you actually do need that, so i stopped takin it like, a few days ago, anD NOW THE COUGH IS- ALL THE SYMPTOMS IMMEDIATELY RETURN. im so old. im dyin’. ohh no. so i started takin it again, which is as per the doctors recommendations. i’m sure your all very interested in this. but i just- i dont want to cough during the stream tomorrow, please, please i need my voice, ive been preparing for this for like a month”

alright that was fun. and yes i am very interested

SELLOUT TIMER POG

how,,,,how did seeing the sellout timer remind him of a gong,,,,,,valid and same but dfhgjksla

“alright so i was thinking, the other day, i should buy a gong. you know, like, those...i think its like chinese- it’s- it’s that big- its that big uhhh- its like a big plate, and you like hit it with a hammer and it makes- it’s- its very loud, that kind of gong. i was thinking i should buy one of those, and then whenever- whenever the sellout timer goes off i could be like “d-do you hear that?” and then BAM hit the gong!!! it’s the- its the techno- its the subscribe to technoblade gong! it’d be incredible. it’d be incredible, chat, i would get- i would get kicked out of my parents house so quickly but- for the day it takes them to do that i would get SO many subscribers. i would get SO many subscribers chat.”

ah. thats how it related fghjsdkal (17:15). also he sounds like hes smiling and i cant help but smile while listening.

techno please stop explaining thorns math i am confused 20:30

HE JUST

HE JUST TRIES TO KILLS BBH FOR NO REASON IM SHJKFGDL 27:00

bbh giving techno chicken one at a time while having a convo with tommy is the funniest thing ive seen today and i am crying 33:00

who tf just randomly knows the word espoused and uses it jskdhfl 37:00

37:40 is good technos gotten a lot better at tridents

48:22: “this is- this is how my love life has gone, tommy. alright, so i was in high school, and i was like, i could talk to girls, but- [tommy: could you?] yes, that is within my capabilities, believe it or not, OR, i could just- i could just upload youtube videos and become unbelievably famous, and they’d talk to me. [tommy: have any of them talked to you yet?] no. no not really. but i am famous! so, i have to say, that was the backup plan, alright? *stutters*” HFSDJKLS

1:01:33 techno 3v1 why ,,,,,, he so good

YESSS DREAM LAUGH AT TECHNOS JOKE YES GOOD im sorry i just get sad when people dont and i just,,,,they 1:21:58 kjhsdfal

1:30:40 he gives the fox a golden apple and nods im gonna cry

when typing “THUNDER AVERT YOUR EYES” he starts to type gaze and changes it to eyes. is this bc he told us to avert our gaze when doing the village breeding nd stuff??? bc ik its weird to hear him say avert your eyes instead of gaze 1:33:10

i stg if dreams “do you see them over there? look at them.” is used in an animatic (ESPECIALLY a sadist one) i will scream hskgdjfla these yters are controlled by artists and its amazing 1:38:30

“It’s not an experiment, i’m just putting my hypotheses through mutlible controlled trials where i adjust variables and then record the results” (1:11:20) has the same vibes as the “mandatory unpaid volunteer work” stuff. also is techno a science nerd bc if he is thatd make him a math, science, english, and history nerd and that can NOT be allowed

wait wasnt “ill burn that bridge when i come to it” a tumblr thing like was that from tumblr or am i forgetting something bc if not uh technos on tumblr /hj 1:13:40

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shakespeareismydad · 4 years ago

Text

My thought process as I watch season 7 of GoT

-S07E03

-Can Cersei please shut up god, I’m so tired of listening to her talk

-Qyburn can suck a dick

-i have never hated a character more in my life

-this is painful to watch

-oh no not the ince*t, god anything but that, I’m so over it

-STOP KISSING

-no one cares if you're the queen stop fucking your brother

-i would love to see cersei burned by a dragon

-brooding buddies ahaha

-this scene is so pretty, the way his cloak blows in the wind is *chefs kiss*

-tyrion and jon interacting makes me happy

-“are you trying to present you're own statements as wise wisdom” PleaSe

-don’t make me think about robb and rickon PleaSe

-fucking lord baelish ugh

-sansa and her quick fire wit

-there are some chars i cant stand listening to

-ooh is it arya, please i hope it is,

-its bran instead oop, didn’t expect that,, hug it OUT

-bran is so pretty wow

-this is so sweet, the way the snow enhances her hair is *chefs kiss*

-oh no is Sam gonna be in trouble for helping jorah

-this is nice

-i hope sam doesnt get kicked out of the cidatal

-GO SAM

-ive heard so much about Casterly Rock and this is the first time I’m seeing it and tbh the hype wasn’t worth it

-SECRET TUNNEL!!

-pointy stick go stabby stabby

-FUCKING EURON AGAIN I SWEAR

-canny hack it, am not enjoying this

-for fuck sake the lannisters are at highgarden and for why

-I still don’t know if i like Jamie Lannister or not

-they aren’t gonna kill ornella, i hope not

-they really think they're gonna win how embarrassing

-she really just drank the wine

-the fact that jamie is jofferys dad still grosses me out

-S07E04

-pretty op scene

-Tom Hopper in game of thrones whaattttt

-Oh my god, every time i see cersei i wanna take my eyeballs out

-i don’t trust baelish with bran

-i don’t trust baelish period.

-imagine giving a kid a dagger that almost killed him i-

-i don’t want meera to leave

--alot of people died for bran ouch

-wait bran died, hol up, does that hes ACTUALLY the three eyed raven this time

-ARYA JUST GOT HOME

-they better let arya in

-Arya gone ahah

-sansa and arya moment, reunited at last

-this moment is kinda sad tbh

-this is so wholesome

-its sad again, i wish robb and rickon were here too

-”its wasted on a cripple” i bby noo

-brans wheelchair is so nifty

-i love podrick payne

-okay but theyre outfits are kinda bomb

-thats a lot of fucking dragonglass

-secret cave what will it hold

-the children and the first men are smart

-yess queen fight with them, wait bend the knee i- nevermind

-ion like this, does she really think he’ll bend the knee and the north folk will be happy

-what now

-oh no shes angry and doubting tyrion that cant be good

-jon is so pretty

-Daenerys’ shoulder broche thing is so cool, i want one

-brianne and pod training together is so nice

-im so proud of arya, what a bad bitch

-seeing arya ad brianne train has me shook

-”I’m a Bastard” me too jon me too

-ITS THEON I MISSED HIM

-uh-oh jon doesn't look happy to see theon

-are they gonna hug

-NO THEY ARENT FINNA HUG, pleas no fighting

-im glad he isnt killing theon

-the queen is gone?! Miss thing where did she go

-i can't get over the fact that tom hopper is in game of Thrones

-Fuck the queen especially Cersei

-its gone all quiet that means something bad is gonna happen oh no

-this shit gives me anxiety

-thats a lot of dothraki

-"we can hold them off" my guy no you cant

-she brought her dragon good luck holding them off now pahahah

-is this where jamie dies, I wouldn't be mad :|

-miss thing its over for them

-everything is going up in flames i- why are they still fight back at this point

-if ser bronn dies I'm gonna be mad

-sliced off the horse leg and for what

-deadass though if bronn dies I'm done

-i have so much anxiety oh no

-thats a big fucking arrow

-tyrion looks so sad oh no

-jamie is gonna die if he does boost soon

-I dont want the Dragons to get hurt ahhh

-i love bronn but king this ain't it

-HE HIT THE DRAGON THAT DANI IS ON I- THIS ISNT GOOD

-he blew the arrow thing up instead

-jamie leave youre going to die

-mayhe I don't want him to die just yet but he should listen to tyrion and fuck off

-ser bronn to the rescue?!?!

-im so stressed out ahaha

S07E05

-canny hack it they almost drowned

-jamie 'the twat' lennister

-tyrion walking through the aftermath makes me uncomfy, feels bad man

-dragon said rawr

-what the fuck kinda option is bend the knee or die

-tyrion murdered his dad and he'll do it again

-Just bend the knee it literally cant be that hard

-is she gonna feed them to the dragons

-oh my God she is, wait shes gonna roast them, that's definitely far worse than bending the knee

-ashes to ashes ig

-Cersei should be worried, Dani has three dragons why do they think they can win

-cersei gives me a headache

-jon is so pretty and for what

-mister dragon needs to chill

-is he gonna eat jon

-oh hes letting jon pet him alrightie

-it's kinda creepy seeing it up close ngl

-"gorgeous beast" PleaSe

-figure of speech yeah sure right mhmm

-didnt you want jorah dead like three seconds ago

-i fucking hate those ravens

-thats a big mountain

-thats a lot of dead folks oofdt

-oh sam

-hes a smart wee lad

-i hope they listen to sam, hes making very good point

-some of these measter are dickhead

-im so tired of bending this fucking knee

-what the fuck is a wet nurse

-how are you gonna bring a wight to the capital

-this is whisky business

-trusting a stranger is never a good idea but okay I guess

-the minute jon leave everyone starts shitting on him, what arseholes

-sansa is so pretty

-im so confused what is happening

- Ion like this

-oh no is jamie gonna kill tyrion

-not tyrion making jokes as if he isnt gonna die

-wheres gendry i miss him

-look at my mans I love him

-he looks so good,, look at him king shit

-pop off gendry with your big hammer thing,, I was not expecting that

-not miss thing tryna get bronn killed for betrayal i- 🤚🏾hold up

-IS SHE PREGNANT AGAIN OG MY FUCKING GOd,, shes really ginns have another ince*t baby i 💀,, cut the fkn camera

-gendry you had one job

-"youre alot leaner,, you're alot shorter" I king PleaSe pahahaha

-tyrion is so pretty

-jon you need to return cause like, I dont want you to die

-wait is sam leaving,, bye big library

-what is lord baelish up too now,, I'm sus

-only copy of what,, what is he doing

-is arya finna break into his room

-i dont like this,, he probably has whatever arya is looking for on him

-he hid it in the mattress that smart ngl

-what is lord baelish plotting,, it's making me unsettled

-"you need to convince the one with the dragons or the one with that fucks her brother" paahahah I cant pLease that's so fuunny

-tormund and jorah fight let's go

-"were all breathing" I mean ya I guess pahaha

-gendry is so pretty

S07E06

-they look so tiny against the snow

-"down south the air smells like pig shit" "you've never been down south" "I've been to winterfell" "that's the north" "pfftt" I love that whole interaction

-does tormund wanna fuck gendry i- pahahah

-hes allowed to be mad at you for selling him

-jorah and jon are having a moment bless them

-arya reminiscing about her dad is so cute and it makes me sad

-oh no they're arguing

-"beloved Joffrey" ouch

-we were getting along so well,, and lord baelish had fucked it up

-"gingers are beautiful" yes they are my guy yes they fucking are

-dws tomund what dick is 🤚🏾🤠

-uh babies tormund chill out

-the way Jon's jacket coat thing puffs out is so funny

-i really hope Jon's not in love with Dani

-cersei wants to murder alot of people

-wait why cant dani have children

-they looks like ants in the snow

-is that a polar bear,, NOT A POLAR BEAR I REPAET NOT A POLAR BEAR

-THEYVE GOT FLAMING SWORDS

-mans is gonna get eaten alive

-hes gonna die out here and he doesn't even care,, or maybe he wont die i ??????

-where did they get a flaming sword from

-lord baelish needs to stfu

-what is baelish planning

-its gone all quiet again

-jon said slice and dice

-that a loud fucking screech,, oh no I hear rumbling that cant be good

-go gendry go!!

-theyre running across a lake what if the ice breaks,,

-gendry is a fast little fuck huh

-im so stressed I dont want anyone else to die,, especially gendry

-theyre gonna freeze to death

-oh no thros froze, feels bad man

-where did he get a flaming sword,, it pretty poggers

-ive got anxiety

-not sansa going back to king's landing

-miss thing, honey, sansa it's never safe

-yall Danis coat is so pretty

-how to train your dragons type beat

-well done hound you've provoked the dead

-wheres dani and her dragons when you need her

-if tormund dies,, oh nooooo

-someone should help him

-this is so sad

-sis came through what a queen

-the king Walker is gonna throw the ice spear and kill the dragon oh naw

-the stress is coming back

-he just killed on of her dragons,, I'm so shook

-jons gonna drown

-okai hes still alive but how long still he freezes to death

-miss thing you're literally gonna freeze to death dont try to fight

-seeing uncle benjen die, saving him,, that hurted

-the CRUNCH of Jon's coat oft

-shes not gonna kill sansa right?!?

-arya gave her the dagger but now what?!?

S07E07 (this should be good)

-bronn I'm offend men with dicks are just as good with men without them

-the dothraki really just fight for fun huh

-THEON!!!!

-not the brothels 🤚🏾🥴

-the wight doesn't enjoy that box

-cersei you wont be killing anyone,, miss thing needs to SIT DOWN AND STFU

-god I don't wanna deal with any lennister,, apart from tyrion

-i love podrick

-maybe I dont like ser bronn

-im sus,, something bad might happen,, its gone all quiet

-here comes miss thing and euron

-im gonna be sick with anxiety

-does everyone just have a permanent from on their faces or what

-i hate when she speaks

-dragons as a means of travel is so handy

-ats a big fucking dragon pahaha

-constant state of stress

-euron shut the fuck up

-euron is gonna get punched in the face if he doesn't shut up

-sit down euron or fuck off

-cersei shut up for two seconds

-does whe really think the army of the dead is a bad joke,, MISS THING COME ONNN

-does miss thing believe them now after almost being attacked by a wight

-100,000 AT LEAST oh no

-euron is scared lol hes definitely gonna die

-"until the dead is defeated they are our true enemy" Miss thing we've been trying to tell you

-oop mans already been pledged and miss Cersei is pissed

-honestly fuck the Lannisters

-everyone is pissed at jon for not lying lol

-tyrion don't talk to cersei,, that's a bad idea just waiting to happen

-oh lord am stressed

#game of thrones #incorrect quotes #theon greyjoy #jon snow #S7 recap #jamie lannister #cersei lannister #tyrion lannister #podrick payne #brianne of tarth #ser bronn #sansa stark #arya strak #daenerys stormborn #daenerys targaryen

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weheirsofdurin · 4 years ago

Text

Lets go for another fluff piece. (Pre-hobbit around the same time as the starter I did)

Five times Dwarvish Courting went over an elf’s head, one time it didn’t

Filirubbed at the smooth rock in his hand, the pad of his thumb catching on the only thing marking it’s surface. THe dwarven runes inlaid expertly caused his heart to pound heavily. Glancing down at the golden colored stone, the blue ruins a stark contrast.

His fond smile caught another’s attention and before he knew it, the elf named after the hero Glorfindel, stood before him. “What have you got there Master Dwarf?”

Looking up Fili hid the stone in his fist before wincing, it had been a startled reaction and nothing against his elven friend. “A gift.” He said simply then reaching out took Glorfindel’s hand and placed the stone within it. “There is lore that if you write on a stone and gift it to another, that it will come true.”

Turning on his heel the dwarf stormed off, back to his forge. Poor Glorfindel was left with the stone in his hand and dwarvish runes he did not understand glared up at him. “What was your wish, my little lion?” He wondered aloud in elvish before pocketing the stone.

Dwarves had such odd traditions at times.

.~:*:~.

Glorfindel entered the forge silently, as elves were known to do, and Fili never noticed the other man. Not at first. As he worked he hummed, mumbling words in a language Glorfindel had never thought to learn until now. He sang as he worked which the elf found endearing. When Fili turned and spotted him there was a hesitation in his movements and the song cut off.

“Lord elf, it is common courtesy to announce yourself upon entry to ones forge.” It was courtesy to announce oneself anywhere but Fili would not nit pick that for now.

“Ah, yes.” Glorfindel at least looked abashed at the slight chastisement. “You were singing so nicely though that I did not wish to interrupt.” This time it was Fili’s turn to turn a bright red on his nose and ears. “What iis it that you are making?”

“A gift.” Fili said and he set what looked to be the beginnings of a dagger onto a hot stone. His gloved hand held the prongs tight and his other hand reached for a hammer and he began to bang away. Immediately he began to sing again, the thrumm of the the song matching with the hammering and Fin found himself enthralled once again. This was how dwarves worked, how they kept pace, how their forges and weapons were so perfect. They sang to keep track and upon hitting certain points knew instinctively it was time to shift.

“Perhaps we can meet for dinner tomorrow eve, Lord Elf.” Fili spoke to Glorfindel as the metal blade was put back into the forge to heat back up.

Knowing a dismissal for what it was Glorfindel bowed. “Of course, Master Dwarf, I look forward to our meeting.”

WHen they did meet the following eve Fili and him only made it part way through their meal before a dwarf raced up to the blacksmith. “Fili, there’s a problem and we need you urgently.” Without hesitation Fili stood and there was an air of authority about him. Fin knew that Fili was in charge while the real leader was away so it made sense, but at the same time there was a regalness about this authority.

“Forgive me, Glorfindel, but I must go. I wished to properly give you this but please accept it even so,” REaching out Fili held a small dagger for Glorfindel, the leather that would wrap around his thigh looked old and worn, probably made from scraps previously. Accepting it he watched Fili run off and he pulled the blade from it’s sheathe. His breath caught.

This was a dwarven blade but its inlay was far more elven. The smooth curving lines which he realized were vines wrapped around the flat plane. Small thorns adorned it making the delicate lines sharp and threatening, the green pain practically glowed in the sun and along the hilt golden flowers were encrusted. Did Fili know of who he was to put this there? No he couldn’t. Fin had never told the dwarf who he was. Someone must have mentioned something though.

Wait- was this the blade Fili had been making yesterday?!

.~:*:~.

“Bugs?” Fili held a doubtful expression as he looked at his brother. He just could not believe it. Really. Elves thought bugs were appropriate for courting? That sounded too far-fetched.

“Aye, I heard it from Gimli who heard it from Gloin! Gloin said that he had met elves back in erebor and they were always giving each other bugs upon courting.” Kili insisted, his expression serious and Fili was struggling to figure out if he was being honest or playing him a fool. “Fine, dont believe me. It’s not like your stone gift or blade gift made him realize.”

“Ah- wait! Kili, come back. I just- I need to know more. Was it just worms or was it a specific bug or-?” Fili did not look forward to digging up worms to give to Glorfindel.

“I don’t know, but worms are abundant. Come on, I’ll help you collect them.”

Fili and Kili only returned a few hours later dirty and both looking smug, for vastly different reasons. Fili because he had just given his courting gift to Glorfindel, Kili because he made his idiot of a brother actually believe him about bugs.

Glorfindel, was just confused. With all these worms… did Fili wish to go fishing?

.~:*:~.

The bugs, Fili learned, turned out to be a lie. He had to explain to Glorfindel that Kili had insisted that elves liked bugs and that he should give some to the commander. Only to later learn from his mother that Kili had lied. Thankfully as soon as Glorfindel learned it was a prank on FIli by Kili, he understood and got a solid laugh out of it. The elf really had been utterly confused but it all made sense now.

Now, Glorfindel was searching for his friend in the hopes they might share a meal together and talk further. He had come to learn the dwarf knew very little of Glorfindel’s name other than there was a hero who had died that had the same name. The silly dwarf did not make the connection he was one and the same. Fin was Glorfindel, the bolrog slayer. An epiphat that he had never wished for but had taken it without remorse.

It had stung when Fili snorted at the story, how the Bolrog killed him by grabbing his hair and pulling him into the abyss. But at the same time he had understood, it was ironic - as the Dwarf had put it - that Glorfindel had fought in a war, had managed to defeat hundreds of enemies, even taken down a Bolrog, but the vanity all elves had which made them leave their hair fairly loose upon the battle field, was what had done him in.

Glorfindel had not thought of it before but it was true. Had he not let his hair be free it would not have been grabbed, he would have survived. Even now he never pulled it back truly, only was far mor conscious of it and the braids he used to keep the front out of his face. “Fili,” Glorfindel smiled at the dwarf and bowed in greeting.

“Fin.” His reply was terse but not uncaring. It seemed once again he was irritated by others looking to him without refused to what he was currently doing. Fili had once confided in Glorfindel that he didn’t even mind the stupid requests, it was when they were pressed upon him as he was doing something important that he minded.

“Would you like to come eat with me for the midday meal?” THe request barely left the elf’s lips, but FIli was already shoving all of his paperwork into Kili’s arms - the poor younger brother scowling - and making his way to Glorfindel’s side.

“Aye, Kili will be doing my duties for me while we go eat, part of his punishment for his cruel joke.”

“I said I was sorry,” Kili whined, but he knew his mother sided with Fili on this. Counting was not some trivial matter the be joked around with.

AFter the two had their meal, and Fili looking remorse knowing he had to go back, Glorfindel brought up what had been on his mind earlier. “Fili, I must go hunting soon, a pack of orcs were sighted nearby, by my scouts. We will be ridding the land of the pests and making sure none get close to the village.”

“Orca? Ye are sure they were sighted near?” When Glorfindel nodded Fili cursed. “I will gather a group of dwarves to hunt with ye-“

“No, Fili. This is how we elves shall repay you for the kindness you have allowed. Staying on your land may be mutually beneficial but few dwarves would offer this kindness up. I just request that you help me this even before I leave. It has come to my attention that my hair is a disadvantage in battle. WHile I am versed in putting it up for elven ceremonies, those styles are not fit for battle.”

Without thinking about it, Glorfindel reached out and touched a braid that surrounded Fili’s lips. “What are ye asking of me, Glorfindel? Do ye know?”

“I’m asking you to braid my hair, my friend. So that should an enemy grasp at it, I will not be felled again from some cliff.”

Fili looked infuriated as he tossed his mane of hair back, and tugged his braid free of the loose finger. “Fine.” His word was spat venomously and he stood, “I will be at your tent after the evening meal.”

Glorfindel did not know it, how could he when it was not part of his custom, but asking a dwarf to touch his hair was as intimate to the small men as sexual relations. His words stung and dishonored Fili. Calling him a friend as he touched a braid and asked for it in return, was saying he was no better than an easy fuck.

Fili was far too in love to say no though, so he took the insult and dishonor to his name. Showing up at the elf’s tent in a foul mood but still showing up because he did care. His fingers were rough but not unkind as he touched the long golden hair, he’d never seen hair this long as any dwarf with hair this length had long since put it up.Fili put in multiple braids, intertwining them at points to create a patter which would secure what was not put up before pulling all the hair together and tying it off with a leather strip.

What was left down was still one but would not flow far from his body and any grasp on it would be easy enough to remove. Glorfindel knew he could never recreate such an intricate style on his own, and was thankful for the dwarf’s help. But something about Fili looked off after and Glorfindel let the dwarf storm off without a word uttered.

There was no time to deal with this now and would have to wait until his return. PErhaps he had said something or asked something of Fili that was rude. But he had seen Fili braiding and pulling Kili’s hair back before, along with a female Dwarf’s. Thinking of this was just like riding in circles, getting him nowhere. Instead of worrying much further over it he heaved a sigh and left with his men.

“Lord Glorfindel…” One of his men rode closer and leaned over. “Did a dwarf do that for you?” He spoke lowly and GLorfindel narrowed his eyes, to speak so meant he knew something and hoped the others would not hear. So without a word Glorfindel nodded and noticed the grimace. “Was it a whore?”

Pulling on his reigns the horse reared before getting back under control and GLorfindel scowled. “You offer much dishonor to the one that did this for my by asking that.”

“Yes, but no more than you did by asking it of him.” THe elf had leaned away when the horse had reared and Glorfindel looked confused. “Dwarven culture states that hair is sacred in the sense of one another. Only family or one intimate may touch it. Even when they die none of their kind except their priests or family will bind their hair.”

Shocked by the revelation - now now understanding FIli’s fury - he reached back and touched the binding in his hair.

“Do not take it out.” The elf hissed quickly and urged his mount close once more. “You would dishonor him further. Think about it, if you had put flowers upon his head because he asked it of you, and then he removed it not long after…”

Glorfindel tore his hand away from the strap and nodded. Flowers were more sacred to his house than others so he understood deeply. Putting a crown of them upon FIli who thought of him differently, would be similar to what the dwarf had done for him. And if Fili returned later without the flowers he would be shamed like that of a petty bar whore.

“But I do think of him in such a way. I would be honored if he were to become my betrothed.”

The elf snorted and shook his head. “Would you sex a lady before offering to wed her?”

“I will fix this upon our return, thank you for bringing it to my attention.” Glorfindel urged his horse ahead and the elf fell behind, letting their leader think freely.

.~:*:~.

Glorfindel had not had the chance to meet with Fili since returning, but the looks dwarves gave him told him that the elf a fortnight ago was right. He had shamed FIli deeply. Finding the dwarf on the sparring field he made eye contact. Fili was about to start a bout and hesitated, only pausing long enough to remove his tunic much to the surprise of those around. Eyes fell upon Glorfindel once more and some sneered.

WAs this another dwarven culture problem? Did they remove tunics to spar? If so why had the other dwarf not? Why was it only FIli? Could this be because of his shame? As he watched FIli spar, noting every droplet of sweat that trailed down the dwarf’s frame, a woman came up to him.

Or he assumed it was as she- they, has chain jewelry going from their nose to multiple ear piercings. Their beard was kept short and the sideburns neat. Did that mean something? Considering how important hair was he thought so.

“Ye still wear his braids.” Her tone was not harsh, but curt. She was not pleased. “Ye should have removed them before returning. His shame would not be for all to see then.”

“You dishonor both him and I.” Glorfindel replied in a similar tone. He felt as if the repitition would never end. “I wear them still because I care. Do not mistake this as flagging him for something that was not intended. Elves are more lax about their hair than you dwarves and had I known, I would have started something with him first.”

She looked up at him in surprise. “Started something? Ye mean to ask my boy to be betrothed? AN elf and a dwarf, what insanity has this family been cursed with. Watch him carefully as he battles and congratulate him loudly, for all to hear. Win or lose, if ye do not, there will be no saving his honor.” The woman turned on her heel and left after that.

Glorfindel listened to her advice and when Fili bested his opponent he saw his untold queue, Blue dwarven eyes had flicked to him from where the owner stood, dripping sweat, in the middle of the field. “That was amazing FIli,” Glorfindel’s voice rang out and everyone looked at him once more. He might as well go all the way with this. “I’ve rarely seen such power as you displayed. A true master you must be. Come, let us eat and talk about what has been missed in my absence.”

Fili looked grateful and grabbed his tunic from the ground before going to catch up with the elf. Glorfindel supposed a proper talk could wait for tomorrow and for now a chat about what had happened in both of their absences was more paramount.

.~:*:~.

Fili sought out an elf after his meeting with Glorfindel and finally decided he needed to go to the source to do it right. His eyes had sought out a familiar face and upon finding it, he made his way to the tall elf that he figured was Glorfindel’s second in command. “Lord Elf,” He greeted and the elf bowed to him, knowing that FIli was in charge here and deserved respect for now.

“Master Dwarf.” The greeting returned could ahve been seen as rude but Fili was not so naive as to let the lack of names be anything more than simple unfamiliarity.

“I have a question for ye about yer customs, would you spare a few moments of time?”

“It seems to ahve taken you long enough to seek me out for this, a few moments will be of no concern.” When the elf stood up from the bow there was a cocky smirk upon his lips.

“I see one of ye are versed in my idiocy.”

…

Glorfindel sat in the open field, legs stretched before him but crossed at the ankles, just backing in the scent of flowers before him. Something light touched his head and was placed upon his brow. Carefully reaching up his fingers touched flowers and he blushed knowing it was a crown of them.

Looking over to the Dwarf he saw FIli smiling down at him and it dawned on him with this gift, what everything had been. “You have been courting me.” It was not voiced as a question and as such Fili did not reply. “Now you ask for my hand in marriage?”

“Aye, for it seems that my previous betrothal gifts while accepted were not understood.” Taking the crown from his head he looked it over, smiling at the arrangement before putting it back where it belong.

“Other gifts? More than just the hair?”

Fili looked surprised and blushed. “The hair was not a courting gift, it was cruel of me to accept and I did so in anger and hurt. I touched yer hair and put it on display for all to see that we were intimate but to ahve ye go out and about with it meant we were shameful.

“Nay, I meant the stone with Love inscribed, the hand crafted betrothal blade, ...the bugs Kili had told me were an elven courting gesture,” Glorfindel snorted at that, it made even more sense now why Kili was taking a harsh punishment for his actions, “and proving myself afore ye in the spar last eve. Had you not accepted that, there would be no hope now.”

“FIli, you should have just said something.”

“Tis not how courting goes.” The dwarf grumbled but stopped as Fin reached up to put a hand on his cheek and smile at him.

“Here, let me show you how we elves accept a crown of flowers.” Their lips met in their first, and not nearly last, kiss.

#drabble #courting hc #headcanon #courting #i gotta polish this up later #glorfindel #fili #hair #legit shit

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