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graphicabyss · 4 years ago

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XVII-XVIII Century Royal Queer History

Unexpectedly to myself, I got really engaged in history of Europe of XVI-XVII centuries. I never really had much interest in kings and queens and didn't know much about them but once I began to read and learn about their personal lives, I got kinda hooked. Also, I was struck by how many of them were queer and I began to write down my findings, which inevitably turned into a freaking study. I thought I might as well post it.

I'm gonna start with King James I of England who ruled in XVII century. Now there are several tumblr posts about this queer legend. Some historians think he was weak and unremarkable but he survived several assassination attempts, kept his power over 3 countries and lived to old age, which is pretty remarkable on its own. He also kept all the religious leaders at bay and commissioned the world's most famous Bible, which is still owned by most Christians 400 years later. He was also the one who created the modern wedding ritual. You know, church, vows, rings, that stuff. He avoided wars and was a patron of the arts, even wrote some books, including one about demons, werewolves and vampires. What a nerd. He was very different from Elizabeth who preceded him, so one contemporary epigram stated "Elizabeth was King, now James is Queen". Oh, also he was very gay. Or, at least, as gay as a king can get. His relationships with his male courtiers were notorious. He had several favourites who had way too much influence over him and his court really hated it.

He needs to have a movie made about him, seriously. I found only one semi-documentary film and it was The King James Bible: The Book That Changed The World (2011). While I liked the film and King James was hot, sassy and very cool, it was disappointing he was shown as perfectly straight. They could just avoid his personal life altogether, but instead they chose to show him being a perfect husband. While it is true that he was nice to his bride, by the time he met her he had a 10-year old relationship with a man 24 years his senior (since he was 14). I'm just gonna use this screenshot from the movie instead of a painting because it's too good.

Perhaps the most notorious of his alleged lovers was George Villiers, 1st Duke of Buckingham. Starting out as a son of a minor gentleman, the 21-year old lad caught the eye of King James I and quickly became his favourite teasing him by dancing in intricate performances called masques. He made a brilliant career becoming a knight, an earl, a Marquess, and finally a duke - a title normally being reserved for members of the royal family - within just 9 years. Can you blame him though? I mean, look at that stud.

Btw, James’ pet name for Buckingham was ‘Steenie’, derived from St. Stephen who reportedly had the face of an angel.

The name Buckingham seemed oddly familiar to me but it took some time before I realized he was one of the characters in Dumas's "The Three Musketeers". Now I am someone who grew up on old pure Three Musketeers movies so when I started learning about the real historical figures involved in it it gave me a slight shock as the truth is way more weird and sinister that fiction.

The storyline I remember the most was the one where Anne of Austria, the queen of France, got in trouble with her husband Louis XIII because of her affair with Duke of Buckingham. Of course, Duke of Buckingham was never the Queen's lover, he was the King's. What's more, some historians assume Louis XIII was also queer. There is no evidence that Louis kept mistresses, but he had very intimate relationships with his favourites. He has even been described as “repelled by female contact”. There's also the issue of him struggling to have an heir. His wife had 4 pregnancies that were unsuccessful but that seemed like too few for a king who needed to secure his dynasty. After 23 years of trying, the king and queen were finally able to produce a son and another soon followed, the older son to become Louis XIV, and the younger, Philippe, to be known as Duke of Orleans.

Anne was quite the character for a dramatic story too. After Louis's death she became the Regent and made sure to clear the way for her son Louis. To ensure that Louis's younger brother will not try to usurp the power from him as it was with Louis XIII 's brother, Anne of Austria conducted an early and very wicked gender development experiment. She and her adviser, Cardinal Mazarin, set up a plan to raise the two boys very differently. Queen Anne called Philippe by such nicknames as "my little girl" and encouraged him to dress in feminine clothing, which he sometimes did even as an adult.

I'm just gonna use this quote because this shit is real: The queen and Mazarin discouraged the duc d'Anjou [Philippe] from traditional manly pursuits such as arms and politics, and encouraged him to wear dresses, makeup, and to enjoy feminine behaviour. His inclination toward homosexuality was not discouraged, with the hope of reducing any threat he may have posed to his older brother. Reportedly, Cardinal Mazarin even commanded his nephew, Philippe, to de-flower the king's younger brother.

Well, fuck. The joke's on them though, as Philippe grew up to be a fashion icon AND a fierce warrior. He participated in many battles and was immensely praised for his bravery and valour. In 1677, he led the French forces at the Battle of Cassel against William III of Orange of the Netherlands. Yes, that guy who later gently invaded England and took the throne. By the way, there are some allegations that he was also gay. Anyway, Philippe was so badass in battle that people glorified him as a hero and it made his stallion of a brother so jealous he sent him back and never allowed him on the battlefield again. Louis XIV continued his mother's effort in encouraging his brother's effeminate behaviour and putting up with his homosexual relationships, all the while waging a war of homosexuality in France. I mean, gotta preserve the traditional values, such as fucking 12 mistresses who were often married. There were even rumours Louis fucked Philippe's wife. I guess he was trying to make up for his father, brother, son, and uncle, César de Vendôme. Meanwhile, Philippe gave no fucks. He had a number of favourites and didn't even try to hide his sexuality. In fact, it is said that every time Louis pissed him off, Philippe did something extra gay and in his face. Fierce.

One guy I have to mention is Armand, the Comte de Guiche, who was said to be handsome, vain, and manipulative. Armand was Philippe’s lover, but he is widely thought to have been his wife Henrietta’s lover as well. That apparently wasn’t enough for the guy, because in 1665 he also tried to romance Louise de La Valliere, who was Louis’ chief mistress at the time. Louis exiled him in 1662 for plotting with Henrietta to break up Louis and Louise. What a glorious fucker.

But the love of Philippe's life was Chevalier de Lorraine who was basically a prince of a realm outside France. He's usually called 'Chevallier' but his name was also Philippe. He also had an older brother named Louis. Seriously, couldn't they try a little harder with the names? Anyway, when they met Philippe was 18 and Chevalier 15 and sparks flew. He was described as being “as beautiful as an angel” and was more than ready to use what his mama gave him. He was smart and very manipulative and Philippe showered him with gifts all his life, much to the chagrin of his two wives whose money and estates he often gave away.

He moved to Palais-Royal, the same palace as Philippe and his wife Henriette. Very convenient. Philippe's marriage got kinda crowded. Chevalier got so arrogant, he actually told Philippe's wife she needs his permission to sleep with him and that he could get him to divorce her. She complained to the king and he got Chevalier imprisoned and exiled. However, not for long as Philippe pleaded the king to pardon him and eventually succeeded. Henriette did not get much relief apparently as she wrote: “I see from the ashes of Monsieur’s love for the Chevalier, as from the dragon’s teeth, a whole brood of fresh favourites are likely to spring up to vex me.” Of course, Chevalier also managed to enrich himself immensely by getting Philippe and the king to give him and his family tons of perks, such as make him the titular Abbot of four abbeys, which payed handsomely.

Henriette died very suddenly claiming she was poisoned. The doctors found no evidence of that, but there were still rumours that Chevalier was to blame. Philippe had to find another wife, even if he wasn't happy about it. Chevalier stuck around. He was exiled a second time after he apparently seduced the king's son (more on that later) but was able to return again. Their relationship lasted for 40 years, until Philippe's death.

There was a recent TV show called Versailles that depicts Louis XIV’s reign and it has a fairly accurate though romanticized portrayal of Philippe and Chevalier's relationship. Too bad the show is way too violent for me to watch. They look stunning in it~

Anyway, such relationships were far from rare. In fact, apparently there were the so-called confréries (“fraternities”), which were basically gay brotherhoods whose members hung out together and set up orgies. One elite brotherhood was founded between 1680 and 1682. Apart from Chevalier, it included the king Louis XIV's cousin Prince of Conti who was once proclaimed the King of Poland, and Louis's illegitimate son, the comte de Vermandois. The latter was 15 in 1682 when at the court of his uncle Philippe, he met the Chevalier de Lorraine and his sect and apparently got very personally acquainted with Chevalier's younger brother and nephew. When the king learned about it, the group was forcibly dissolved and Vermandois was beaten before the king, exiled from court, and forced into marriage. Another such group was within the highest ranks of nobility at the court of Philippe II, Duke of Orléans, the son of Philippe and the regent at the time when Louis XV was young. They really didn't bother with names, huh? Anyway, they got involved in a number of scandals, in one of which that happened in 1722 a group of 17 noble men gathered in the palace gardens to fuck. The Regent didn't seem very bothered and even seemed to find it amusing.

The Regent, who did not stop smiling, was satisfied that it was necessary to give the nobles a harsh reprimand and tell them that they do not have the best taste [goût] in the world.

Dad would be proud.

There were also some (presumably) queer queens, like Queen Anne of England. Now you might have seen the movie The Favourite but it's heavily satirized and Anne wasn't really childlike and helpless. Actually, this image was created by Sarah Churchill, Duchess of Marlborough, after she was expelled by Anne, and stuck. However, the rivalry between the old and new favourites was very real.

Anne met Sarah when she was just 8. Sarah was beautiful, charming and very persuasive. When Anne became the queen, she made Sarah Churchill her Mistress of the Robes (the highest office in the royal court that could be held by a woman) and gave her a bunch of other really cool titles. She also made her husband, John Churchill, a duke. Thus Sarah became the most powerful person in England after the queen and the queen always listened to her advice. However, as years went by, Sarah became increasingly pushy and insensitive, using the queen to get what she wanted.

Sarah looking fab~

Then comes Abigail Masham, Sarah's impoverished cousin. Abigail was soft, caring and considerate, exactly what the queen needed. Sarah tried to get rid of her but it only angered the queen further and she eventually dismissed Sarah and her husband and banished them with disgrace while Abigale took her place. Sarah then wrote scandalous memoirs, painting the queen as weak and instable, as well as implying that her relationship with Abigail was lesbian. In mid-1708, she helped to circulate a ballad with such lyrics as: “Her secretary she was not / Because she could not write / But had the conduct and the care / Of some dark deeds at night.”

While there is no direct evidence that she and Anne had sexual relationship, there are many letters between the women that are very romantic and intimate. Sarah even used them to blackmail the queen. And you can kinda see why. “Tis impossible for you ever to believe how much I love you except you saw my heart,” the princess wrote in one letter, as quoted in Anne Somerset’s biography of Anne. “If I writ whole volumes I could never express how well I love you,” read another.

Also, like, evidence was hardly even a thing with queer relationships, since the only solid evidence of regular affairs were illegitimate children.

Finally, I really want to talk about Frederick II, the king of Prussia. Buckle up because this is gonna be long.

Until the age of 7 Frederick was growing up with his lit mother and sister. Here they are, looking gorge. I think he's in blue but tbh I'm not 100% sure.

Anyway, as he got older he was taken to his father and that's when things got shitty. His father, Frederick William I, was the model image of toxic masculinity. He was all about power and military and expected his son to be the same. And since the boy was a lot more into music, poetry, and French stuff, his father often beat and humiliated him. He didn't allow him to learn French and Latin because, like, that's so gay. Now he was a real man. With a weird kink for tall guys. He is known for creating the Potsdam Giants, a regiment of very tall men that he didn't use for battle, just dressing them up and making them march. Ultimate straightness. It is probably redundant to say but his father also hated 'sodomy' and it was punishable by death, a law Frederick would repeal.

And the thing is, Frederick wasn't even supposed to become a king. He was the third son. It wasn't even disease. The first son died because a volley was fired close to his crib (because that’s the only way to wake up a real man - canon) and the second died at baptism because the royal crown crushed his skull. And you thought your parents were bad. Poor Frederick didn't even want to be a king, he just wanted to play the flute and do his thing. In a different age he'd be writing musicals on Broadway or something.

Anyway, there are few doubts among historians the man was gay. There's this BBC documentary that downplays it but it keeps saying he grew up in an environment where he was "leading a double life" and that he once wrote to a close friend that he felt he was a mirror that dared not be what nature made it, forced to oblige what was around it. Please.

Frederick's first presumed relationship was at 16, with Keith, the king's 17-year-old page. Unsurprisingly, Keith was soon sent to a far-off frontier. Right after that, however, Frederick got real close with an officer Hans Hermann von Katte. The dude was very woke and they both loved music and poetry but shit got very real very soon. In 1730, Katte and Frederick decided to flee to Britain to escape their despotic fathers. Sadly, they got caught and tried for treason. Although the prince was pardoned, Katte was sentenced to life imprisonment, which his sick dad changed to execution and then forced Frederick to watch it. At execution Katte and Fred shouted to each other endearments in French and before it happened, Frederick fainted. That shit really fucked him up and he got depressed but he toughened up and accepted his fate.

Aged about 20, Frederick was expected to marry. After a few failed attempts, an Austrian bride was selected, Elisabeth Christine of Brunswick-Bevern. Frederick was clearly unexcited and apparently even threatened suicide. As soon as he had secured throne, he sent her away and only met with her out of necessity. They had no children. And some historians are like, "well, they just didn't get along". Well, his folks hated each other but it didn't stop them from having 14 children.

Anyway, his father finally got off his back and as a crown prince, he mostly spent his time reading, composing, watching plays and writing woke political essays. Then his dad died so playtime was over.

Now that sounds like a story of a "weak" king. A man who loved to read books and play his flute. But it's not how it was. As Fred became king, he inherited a very militarized state with a huge-ass army and he worked with what he had. He started expanding Prussia, starting with Austria, which he had old beef with. He wasn't out for world conquest, he struck swiftly and strategically to consolidate and strengthen his state.

Frederick, widely known as Frederick the Great, waged war against much bigger armies with great success and doubled Prussia's size in his reign. Which is why Hitler was obsessed with the guy smh. Would make more sense if he was into the Frederick Senior, with his militarism and his little hobby of inbreeding giants and all. He must have missed the part where he was tolerant, modest and also gay.

Frederick also had a younger brother, Prince Henry, who was also gay. He was an important general in the king's army, though their relationship was quite complicated. Henry married but like his brother, bore no children, ignored his wife and spent time with fine lads.

Look at this unapologetic legend!

When Frederick wasn't battling, he was doing lit stuff. He built a gorgeous palace in French fashion, full of Grecian sculptures and homoerotic paintings. He attracted the best intellectual minds of his time. Voltaire lived there for 3 years btw and he did not hold back to make many "wink wink" references to the king and his Grecian taste.

Speaking of which... One of his closest friends was Michael Gabriel Fredersdorf, an army private and a son of a peasant. Frederick met him as a prince and kept him by his side for the rest of his life, quite literally as he had an adjoined bedroom in his palace. He also made him a chancellor and gave him an estate, which really pissed off the elites.

Frederick is a complex character. Sure, he waged war and very successfully asserted himself as one of the top military leaders in history. But at the time Prussia was a scattered landlocked state, it couldn't just opt out of war so it's not like he could just go "peace out, bitches". But he did so much more. The guy actually believed that the king's duty was to be just and improve the lives of his people. He did some major reforms, improved education, supported art, and practiced religious tolerance, which was pretty woke at the time. He abolished torture and corporal punishment. He made governing more democratic by hiring people based on ability, not just status. Sadly, his cool legacy was utterly destroyed because the Nazi decided to appropriate him as their idol but lately it’s being reassessed. It’s hard to judge him considering how much he went through. But despite it all he became one of the best military commanders in history, one of the most woke and talented monarchs, and of course a legendary queer!

Disclaimer: I know all of these people did some terrible shit, at least by modern standards, but I'm here to have fun so I'm not going to go there now. Sources: medium.com/@LukeBoneham/the-politics-of-desire-... thehistoryofparliament.wordpress.com/2019/02/21... www.ranker.com/list/life-of-philippe-dorleans/m... cour-de-france.fr/vie-quotidienne/sociabilite-e... aelarsen.wordpress.com/2018/07/20/versailles-th... thedrummersrevenge.wordpress.com/2007/06/22/ref... dirtysexyhistory.com/2017/09/03/a-secret-gay-br... unspeakablevice.tumblr.com/post/82525976110/lou... journals.openedition.org/crcv/14427#ftn161 Marie Antoinette's World: Intrigue, Infidelity, and Adultery in Versailles The Real Versailles - BBC Two

BBC Four - Frederick the Great and the Enigma of Prussia https://medium.com/war-is-boring/historys-greatest-gay-general-fd7d1d311464 https://www.queerportraits.com/bio/frederick https://www.spectator.com.au/2015/10/frederick-the-great-king-of-prussia-is-a-great-read/ http://gayinfluence.blogspot.com/2011/10/frederick-great-1712-1786.html https://www.history.com/news/true-story-queen-anne-sarah-abigail-the-favourite-fact-check

#King James I #Duke of Buckingham #George Villiers #Philippe Duke of Orleans #Queer History #Chevalier de Lorraine #Queen Anne of England #Frederick the Great

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eastern-anarchist · 3 years ago

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Btw, saying about the "suffered from Western imperialism" Russian government. Recently, the story of the doubles of the politician Boris Vishnevsky even got into the Western media (see the link below). Boris Vishnevsky is a fairly influential opposition politician in St. Petersburg, and this year he decided to run for the State Duma. The central electoral committee, completely controlled by the authorities, applied a rather old political technology in the post-Soviet space: to add the politician's namesakes to the ballot in order to confuse the voter. But usually for this, they either find people only with the same surname, or with the same surname and first name. In the case of Vishnevsky, his doppelgangers were forced to change their names and appearance (!!), additionally having photoshopped the necessary details.

Meanwhile, in recent weeks, allies of Alexei Navalny have continued to talk about the foreign assets of officials from the ruling party United Russia. Indeed - why don't people want to vote for them??

#russia #politics #eastern europe #elections

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knit-wear-it · 4 years ago

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Drunk Tank

Mood: (Harley x Ledger!Joker) Harley sees the Joker drunk for the first time. A little window into their relationship after the initial high of getting together has passed, and they’re still settling into living together. This period of time is probably the sweet spot for prompts, btw.

Rating: Domestic 💯

Prompt: From Anon, Harley & J get drunk together or one of them reacts to the other getting drunk.

Drunk Tank, a Harlequin-Tumblr-Exclusive

It was mid-October, just a week after Harley and the Joker’s tussle with the Odessa gang, which of course, ended with Harley murdering their leader Boris Kosov via a brick to the skull. What was she supposed to do, let him live?

Black Canary arrived shortly thereafter, and now Harley was sporting three broken fingers on her right hand as a result of the fight that followed. They were taped up and splinted, rendering her remarkably useless. You couldn’t shoot with broken fingers, let alone be effective with a knife or any other kind of weapon. It was a frustrating injury, and made her feel like a liability, her hand tucked in her coat as she stood to the side while the Joker did the busy work.

Being useless was not something Harley Quinn was well-equipped to deal with, making her feel sulky and even a little depressed.

She and the Joker were almost two months into their experiment in togetherness, and Harley was still riding the wave of certainty and freedom that came with giving in to whatever this thing was between them. She couldn’t define it; she just knew it was there, vibrating at some higher frequency, and making her feel invincible.

Invincible until her own physicality got in the way, it seemed.

They were hardly a ‘talking about their feelings’ couple, but Harley sensed he was annoyed with her moodiness over being injured. He didn’t taunt her about it, which Harley interpreted as a choice to not make her feel worse, a genuinely surprising development. Obviously, there was no sympathy, and no attempt to cheer her up. He just wasn’t making it worse.

Over the last few days, she’d taken to hibernating, and he’d been out with increasing frequency. Maybe avoiding her. Maybe he just wanted to be out. Harley wasn’t sure what to make of it.

She knew the Joker better than anyone, and for the most part she could read him like an open book. Especially when things were good — the giddiness of companionship, the thrill of something new and head-spinningly good elevating everything. But they were only human, and things couldn’t always be good. They definitely couldn’t always be new.

That night J was out with Marty, leaving Harley at the safe house to sulk over her broken fingers and indulge in moody thoughts about the Joker losing interest in her. She didn’t really believe it would be that simple, but she was depressed, and it was morbidly satisfying to go to the darker corners of her mind.

It was edging up to 3 AM, and she was in bed watching reruns of Made in the Diamond District on an old laptop missing most of its keys. Ivania Dumas had just thrown a shoe at Bobby Kennedy’s head when Harley heard the loud creak of the window in the living room opening. Her head snapped up at the CRASH that followed, prompting her to jump out of bed and grab the handgun tucked in a holster slung over the headboard.

Harley sidled up to the bedroom door, flicking the safety off her piece and pressing her back against the wall.

Then there was a gruff sing-songy grumbling out in the living room, making her eyes widen as she realized this was no unlucky burglar.

She stepped out of the bedroom and slapped the light on at the wall, a pair of sconces blinking on, dimly illuminating the cramped kitchen and living room area.

The Joker was sitting on the floor beneath the narrow, horizontal window, having apparently rolled through it and fallen to the floor. His legs were splayed out in front of him, his green-stained hair flopping over his forehead, his warpaint mostly wiped away apart from some black clinging to his eyelashes and red staining his lips.

He blinked rapidly under the lights, squinting up at Harley as she drew closer, her brow furrowed, confused.

“Wait-wait,” he slurred, smirking as he stretched both arms up toward her, swaying. “Don’t shoot, officer. I’m uh… I’m innocent.”

He giggled shrilly and Harley’s eyes widened even further as she realized what she was seeing.

“Are you… drunk?” she demanded, incredulous.

The Joker swayed forward, squeezing his eyes shut as he giggled to himself.

Harley set the gun aside on the kitchen counter, unsure how to react. She’d never seen him drunk before, and she’d never been drunk in his presence either. There just wasn’t time for it. Sure, neither of them would turn down a drink, especially after some especially chaotic work, but it was crucial to be present when you were wanted terrorists constantly on the run from the Batman.

“So, I guess you and Marty had some fun?” she asked tentatively, undeniably curious about this development.

“Mmm,” the Joker nodded sluggishly and shrugged out of his coat, leaving it in a puddle on the floor behind him.

Harley watched him try to push himself up twice only to fall on his ass both times. On his third attempt she stepped forward and grabbed him by the elbow, hauling him to his feet.

The Joker promptly lost his balance and staggered forward into Harley. She caught him by the lapels, but he forced her backward, his hands closed around her waist, fisting into her oversized tee shirt. Harley’s back hit the counter separating the tiny kitchen from the living room, her spine striking the edge, sending a fissure of irritation rolling through her.

“Hey!” she yelped, punching him on the arm with her good hand.

But the Joker just chuckled slyly and proceeded to tug her tee shirt up to reveal the black bikini-briefs she wore beneath. Then he swayed backwards, squinting down at them.

“Dawwwwww,” he cooed, sounding disappointed. “You’re wearing… panties.”

Before Harley could respond, his attention had already shifted. He dropped her shirt in favour of sliding both gloved hands into her hair, which was already greasy and wavy. He rocked back on his heels unsteadily as he flexed his fingers against her scalp, zhuzing her hair to make it big and fluffy before he released her to get a look at his work.

“Mmm,” he blinked at her sleepily, and tucked one messy lock of hair behind her ear.

“Wow,” Harley laughed, not knowing how else to respond to this bizarre behaviour.

“Ya know, there was a girl tonight,” the Joker smoothed her hair back from her face, his gloves snagging a few honey blonde strands, as ungentle as ever.

“A girl?” Harley’s eyebrows rose curiously.

“Mm,” he nodded and flapped one hand carelessly. “My uh… animal magnetism is impossible to ignore.”

“Did she tell you that?” Harley fought back a smile.

“Oohhhh,” he waggled his eyebrows suggestively. “It was uh, pretty obvious when she climbed into my lap.”

“Really?” Harley pressed her lips together, trying not to laugh. “Did she realize who you are?”

“Psshhht,” the Joker hissed through his teeth, which might have meant he had no idea and didn’t care. “But I said… sorry sweetheart,” he slapped a hand over his heart dramatically. “I’m taken.”

“That’s good to hear,” Harley deadpanned, smirking.

“And she said, awwww, is she gonna get jealous.” His eyes grew heavy as he dramatized the retelling. “And I said, kitty-cat my girl don’t do jealous.”

Harley snorted, amused. But he wasn’t done yet.

“And she went, I bet I can make her jealous.” He threaded his fingers into Harley’s hair again, piling it up on top of her head this time. “And I said, honey, you don’t know my girl. She...” He growled quietly, his eyes suddenly intense as they trailed over Harley’s face, making her heart leap. “She’s a real pistol…”

He tipped forward suddenly, ostensibly going in for a kiss, but his nose crashed into Harley’s cheek, his fingers in her hair pulling at her scalp.

“Alright, Casanova,” Harley pushed on his chest and he swayed backward, his hands falling out of her hair. “Are you hungry?”

“Mmmmmmm,” he seemed to confirm with one big lazy nod. Then he yanked her shirt up to get a look at her panties again.

“Hungry for food,” Harley clarified, grinning openly as she pushed him away.

He staggered back, struggling out of his blazer while Harley circled into the kitchen to dig out left-over Caribbean food from the fridge. As she threw it into the microwave, the Joker stumbled into the bedroom, making Harley laugh softly as she listened to him crash into things trying to get undressed. She wasn’t entirely sure what to make of it, except that with his already-microscopic inhibitions lowered, some exceptionally fond feelings for her were floating to the surface of a brain usually concerned with more practical matters.

Harley examined her splinted fingers, the anxiety that she was annoying him with her ‘moodiness’ dissipating. Maybe he had been annoyed, but if this… affection for her was what was beneath that…

Harley sighed, trying not to beam stupidly as she grabbed the food out of the microwave.

She stepped into the bedroom to find the Joker had divested himself of his clothes, and was sprawled out on the bed naked, attempting to light a poorly rolled cigarette with a disposable lighter.

“That’s dignified,” Harley drawled, handing him the box of take out, distracting him from the cigarette, which he promptly threw across the room in favour of the food.

Harley smiled and shook her head, circling to her side of the bed. She slid into the same position she’d been in before her partner staggered home drunk, demanding her attention. Feeling outrageously content, she tapped on the laptop to the episode playing, thinking that even shit-faced, the Joker was still an agent of chaos.

Just a far less threatening variety of it.

Fin

A/N: For the record, the Joker was totally out drinking with Marty to avoid Harley sulking over her broken fingers, haha. This is a perfect little look at their relationship before this weekend’s new chapter of the Pantomime.

Like it, reblog it, leave a note, show me some love 🥰

"Alright, Casanova” 👇 LOL.

#one shot #prompt #the harlequin #the pantomime #the joker #harley quinn #jarley #fluff #domestic #harley x joker #ledger joker

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iturbide · 4 years ago

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Ok so I've been stewing on this concept for awhile but. Ok so we got regular Naga who chose humanity, then F!Naga who degenerated, but what if there was a Naga who chose *Tiki* over both her responsibilities to her tribe and humanity, but ultimately this backfired bc both groups felt like she abandoned them and in the ensuing conflict she lost Tiki to them? I imagine this Naga would be super bitter about both dragons and humans and not believe in either anymore bc both are equally reprehensible in her eyes. That being said, in her travels around the world she finds Grimm when they're still a baby and chooses to raise them better than her peers were. btw REALLY love all your stuff 💕

I’m so glad you enjoy the stuff here because there is a lot of it and it’s all text walls so I really appreciate the people that read all of these words.

But this concept is something that I can 100% get behind as an off the wall AU I mean holy WOW

We’ve seen Naga’s that chose humanity over everything, including her own people (Fallen!Naga), we’ve seen Naga’s that tried to take a middle route and ended up favoring humans anyway (regular!Naga), but a Naga that actually chose Tiki? One who decided to roll the dice and let her daughter grow up normally? That’s something that we haven’t seen yet.

Given that Naga is the chief of the Divine Dragons, she might not go so far as to forsake even her people over her daughter, but she would place her daughter’s safety over humanity. The destruction of Thabes would likely still occur since that was a matter of Duma thinking humans posed a threat to the remaining dragons (though with Tiki still awake, he had even more to protect, since I still believe it makes sense to place Duma and Mila’s exile after the Dragon War, meaning dragon births have almost completely stopped), but this would end up being an even bigger disaster for dragons in the long run than in the regular!Naga continuity.

Here’s the thing about the regular timeline in Archanea: when it’s set up in a certain way, lots of things end up having a cause and effect relationship. For example:

Because dragons spent a very long time being the effective rulers of the land, when humans began to spread and develop, there were many mixed feelings among the different tribes: some felt disdain for this new weak creatures (Earth Dragons), others felt curiosity and of them and sought to encourage their development (Divine Dragons). This directly predisposes humanity to favor those tribes that aid them while fearing those that don’t.

Because of the threat degeneration and its side-effects (like falling fertility rates) posed to dragons, the Divine Dragon tribe encouraged their fellow dragons to adopt dragonstones to stave it off; the aforementioned disdain held by other tribes led them to resist and directly caused the Dragon War as degeneration ran rampant among those dragons, leading the Divine Dragons to seal them in the Dragon’s Table.

On a related note, because Naga chose to make Medeus -- the last surviving Earth Dragon who had chosen to use a dragonstone -- the guard of the Dragon’s Table, he got to witness humanity’s mistreatment of dragons in the centuries after, directly fueling his hatred and the eventual decision to found the Dolhr Empire.

Because of the vicious war that provided ample evidence of what happened when dragons degenerated, Naga made the difficult decision to put her infant daughter Tiki -- a miracle birth, given the falling fertility rates among dragon kind -- to sleep for fear that if her powers went out of control even with a dragonstone, the damage would be catastrophic.

Having born witness to the war between dragons that wrought havoc across the continent, humans decided they needed a way to defend themselves; in Thabes, this led to the Senate allowing Forneus to conduct his experiments that eventually gave rise to Grima.

By the same logic, the Dragon War decimated the Divine Dragon population; on hearing that humans were trying to create something that could fight dragons, Duma -- already hailed as the Kingshield owing to his defense of the tribe -- elected to raze the city where the weapon was being created to preserve what was left of the tribe.

This, in turn, led to his falling out with Naga and his exile with his sister to Valentia, and we all know how that went.

Even if she didn’t do it intentionally, the vast majority of Naga’s actions related to and surrounding the Dragon War could be construed by humans to be in their favor. That apparent favor by the Divine Dragon Naga led them to enshrine her as a goddess.

This view of her as a goddess, coupled with the pact she forges in her conflict with Grima, eventually leads them to establish a theocracy known as the Halidom of Ylisse where the “divine right of kings” is associated with her brand.

Everything is related. Which means that one little change throws events into chaos. In the normal timeline, humanity saw Naga seal her own daughter and exile her best friends and decided that she was staunchly on their side; by not sealing Tiki before the events at Thabes, even if she still exiled Duma and Mila, humanity would have reason to remain wary since there are still very powerful dragons that remain in the tribe, which puts them at risk. Given that Duma destroyed their one potential means of defending themselves, humans might plead with Naga to eliminate any remaining threats to them -- and when she refuses to do so, knowing what it would mean for her daughter, the last of the Divine Dragons would suddenly find themselves beset by humanity...and in spite of their individual strength, what few remained would be hard-pressed to take on so many humans, armed and armored and working together.

Naga likely would not be revered as a goddess in the eyes of mankind: instead, she would be considered just another powerful draconic threat. Losing Tiki, likely to captivity by humans, would be a devastating blow for her, and one that ultimately leads to the dissolution of the Tribe and the scattering of all the dragons that remain. Naga would likely do her best to retreat from humanity, since they were responsible for taking her daughter -- which could very well lead her to the ruins of Thabes, lost to the sands and long uninhabited...where she would find the odd little dragon crying in the labyrinth. She lost her daughter, true -- but she would do her best to protect that strange little one, in hopes of keeping the tragedies of the past from recurring.

#answered #anonymous #fire emblem #naga #au speculation #also bonus points if tiki eventually ends up with medeus #because for some reason that concept is amazing #medeus looking out for a little divine dragon #since the rest of his people are gone and she was suffering #while naga looks after a weird mutant baby dragon #because he was alone and she'd already lost her baby #medeus founds dolhr solely as a safe haven for dragons #because he has a kid to look after and she doesn't need to be dragged into war #naga and the baby might land there eventually too in their wanderings #so dolhr gains a massive defensive boost #naga's reunited with her baby #grima gets a playmate #and dolhr becomes a safe haven for all dragons defended from mankind

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starswake--archived · 3 years ago

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A bit late but 6, 12, 18, 25, 29, 31 for the Echoes asks 😁

Have a nice day buddy 💙💙

FRANKIEEEEEE THANK U ILY I hope you're doing well!! :>

Echoes Ask

6. What’s your favorite song?

answered here ! But CAN I TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE PRIDE AND ARROGANCE MMMMMMM okay I know I'm such a weenie when it comes to Berkut (my bitch fave) But THE POWER THAT THAT SONG HOLDS???? FOR THE FIRST INTRO WE GET OF HIM HOOOOOOOOOOOOO MAN much impressed...

Okay and the scene too... How it starts really quiet, muffled behind closed doors, the emphasis from Fernand's perspective that he's only getting a general idea of what it's like to be in Berkut's presence unTIL the doors open and you are greeted by the vast ballroom, and just the sheer power you can feel radiating off of Berkut -- when the music surges louder hoooooooooly shit dude

ALSO they play the song when you first go up against Berkut and that's my favorite too because you're once again being greeted by this absolutely suffocating aura he dons. And it's just super funny when you wind up beating him on the battlefield and putting a halt to the song -- putting a halt to his ego. mwah It's just absolutely perfection

12. Of all the antagonists, which one is your favorite?

If the last answer didn't make it obvious, I just really like Berkut KLAJDSF I know he was an addition to SoV and wasn't in Gaiden, but his appearance makes the game so fun and carries out the whole theme of arrogance vs humility so well... And they did such a good job building him for a newly added character so I couldn't help but be charmed...Not that I know anything about Gaiden and how it was like in there, but STILL

18. Who’s your favorite VA performance?

HAHAHA YOU HAVE ASKED ONCE MORE FOR ME TO SPEW ABOUT VA PERFORMANCES

God if I hadn't answered this before this whole post could just be about how much I like Berkut. Wouldn't that be awful lol

BUT to stop the Berkut train, I think my favorite performance would also include Kyle McCarley's performance as Alm ; v; Which...I guess is a given since Alm is my favorite character askdjfahl Anyways, I knew Kyle has a good range from his performance as 9S in Nier Automata, but it was nice to see him in a different context where he's not descending into madness and grief and trying to destroy the world haha He does such a good job to capture Alm's idealistic and optimistic self while balancing his more serious sides when it comes to making decisions. I was actually watching his stream for Echoes before I had a chance to play it! It was fun to hear his thought process while playing as Alm and even hearing him commenting on his own performance (like there's one cry that Alm does and he immediately cringed and went "oh god why'd they with that cut ooph" and I kinda have to agree there it was a weird cry lol). We were so close to having a very sarcastic Alm btw... When they first meet Clair and Clair keeps referring to him as "farmboy" Kyle reaaaally wanted Alm to be snarky and I would've loved to see that but we already have Kliff for that I think XD

25. Who do you agree with more, Mila or Duma?

I think I'd agree with Mila more, but I find myself torn by both after entering into Act 4 of Echoes. I really like Duma's belief that humans shouldn't have to rely on gods to live and finding strength in themself, but I abhor how the society winded up making a lot of Rigelians really harsh and selfish, with a few folks such as Tatiana who thought of helping those who would suffer the most from this mindset. Meanwhile, I like that Mila is really supportive and caring to her people, but even that life, people grew greedy and lived in such excess that they take things for granted (thinking of Celica's father for example and even Grieth too)

29. What’s your favorite canon pair and why?

Aside from Alm and Celica, my other favorite canon pair is Clive and Mathilda alksdjfal I'll admit when I saw them I was so offput because they really were just on top of each other a lot in their supports and I was just hoi geez guys calm down but honestly who couldn't love the line "Now go forth and tear the enemy apart like the beautiful war maiden you are".

Now that's true love right there, chief lol I just couldn't help but love their love haha

31. Which characters do you think should have had a support together? (Characters from different routes are fine, too!)

I muse a lot of Sonya, Genny, and Silque having supports, but I'm also curious what a Celica and Kliff support would look like? I know that Celica can recruit Kliff but I don't know if he says anything different (I'm going to check that after I finish this ask lmao), but I know they don't have supports. I think it might have added to Celica's route a whole lot too because Kliff does mention how Celica's the type to clam up and believe people wouldn't understand. And Kliff says he often does the same, too, so I'd be interested to see what it'd be like if Kliff had called out Celica on this and then Celica pretty much doing the same to Kliff too lol

#wh... whyd i go off about songs like that im so sorry KJLADSHF #im just really passionate about the use of song AND va performances ok aksljdfah #snow answers #frankie #THANKS SM THO #these asks were so fun !!#i wuv the chance to chat about one of many favorite media myahaha #caps #< the caps is literally from being excited to chat about performances and music im sorry LKAJSDFH

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eddisfargo · 4 years ago

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CoMC Chapter 34

CHAPTER 34

The Colosseum

1 hour 10 minutes(! ! !)

So, Kokopeli’s name was actually Cucumetto. Kokopelli (when spelled properly) is this guy:

Sorry, Southwestern fertility deity Kokopelli, for calling that awful guy your name.

(Also, YIKES that picture came out big, haha)

At least I spelled Teresa right.

I’m only like 15 minutes into the chapter so far, but we’ve got an unknown guy who’s clearly Dantes talking to an unknown guy who’s clearly Luigi about a jailbreak. Luigi’s strategy is to go in guns-a-blazin, but Dantes’s is to throw large amounts of money around with full confidence of success.

Then we get Albert’s love woes, which is actually kind of adorable, culminating in a ballet thing where he spends the whole time looking at womans. He sees a “Countess G” who I thought at first might be Mercedes. He says she’s Phoenician though, which actually had me looking up whether Phoenician and Catalan women look similar at all, and then laughing at myself because I’m faceblind and can’t even tell people’s race by looking at them in real life, so what the heck was I expecting to get out of that. Anyway, I don’t think she is Mercedes after all, plus she’d better not be because she’s terrified by the very idea of Dantes, who apparently looks literally like a vampire thanks to his pale skin, dark coloring, and the fire in his eyes. Oh btw the “guy whose face we couldn’t see” that Franz was so fascinated with was, again, clearly going to be him.

Fun turns of phrase include a description of something like Dantes being apparently occupied in beautiful repose and celestial dreams (I don’t have the exact quote, as usual) instead of “lol he slept through the ballet.” You’d kind of think maybe after all those years with 0 entertainment or intellectual stimulation, he’d appreciate the arts, but I guess not. Also Dumas is just certain we know the plot of whatever ballet this is but recounts it a bit for us anyway. Not sure if he’s being ironic about assuming we know it or if everyone actually did, but we sure don’t now (or at least speaking for myself) so thanks d00d.

The Countess is absolutely terrified of him, so hopefully not Mercedes after all. Although I’ve got to admit that’d be interesting. I feel like Edmond wouldn’t just be in the same city as Mercedes and not be freaking tf out, but freaking tf out is not really his MO, so who knows.

Albert is infatuated with her, currently hopelessly, and Franz just wants to learn more about Sinbad. But wait! The two of them are invited into a cart (there has been SO MUCH about how hard it is to find a cart during the festival) by the mysterious Count of Monte Cristo! This is the first time we have heard that name. And the chapter ends on a complete SHOCK (only to Franz) that the CoMC is the mysterious man who has similar taste in rugs and is, as far as he knows, the only actual inhabitant of Monte Cristo, so I really don’t know why he’s so surprised.

Also, unrelated observation, which I am sure we were meant to observate. There’s these tablet thingies that tell you who’s getting executed today and how, and why, so you can pray for their souls, but the hotel owner uses them as an entertainment itinerary for his guests. I feel like just maybe that’s the true purpose of the tablets’ existence, and the prayer is an excuse so they can pretend they’re not terrible.

Also, the Count’s line about being someone alone and isolated being very eager to make friends with their neighbors was uhh, pretty pointed, I felt like.

#Eddis Reads Monte Cristo #count of monte cristo #spoilers #do you like how these are getting longer #I hope you do because they mostly stay like that #I'm really getting into this #my doc is 31 pages long so far #I've got 44 chapters on there #also today is July 3 #I am posting this from exactly a week in the past #but you are catching up to me

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vapaus-ystavyys-tasaarvo · 5 years ago

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The Three Musketeers readalong: Ch3

It’s been a week, oops. Well, I’m determined to catch up so let’s do this

- This whole chapter is extremely comedic because all the characters are ridiculous human beings. (Spoilers: this will be a recurring theme.)

- It always bothered me so much that Tréville invites d’Artagnan in and then pretty much immediately decides to call for the 3Ms. And then proceeds to chastise them in front of this random stranger! Why did he invite d’Artagnan in if he knew he was going to handle this issue first? Why not ask d’Artagnan to leave? You’d almost think this had to have been somehow intentional, maybe to humiliate the 3Ms? Idk. More likely it’s just narrative convenience but it’s just so weird. Oh well.

- Tréville is such a drama queen. And not about the things that you’d think would be legitimate reasons to be a bit dramatic over? I mean people died. (Which btw, yikes.) But no, the problem is honour... I guess. Anyway the reader already knows that most of what he’s saying is heavily exaggerated.

- Also the other musketeers eavesdropping outside the door like younger siblings while the dad scolds their older brothers.

- Porthos lying for Athos (aww)

- Aramis meanwhile calmly recounts how he killed one of the guards with the opponent’s own sword. (Okay is it just me or is Aramis actually kind of terrifying? Also now I’m trying to remember if he’s depicted as the most skilled swordsman among the four? I don’t think it’s ever stated directly because I’d think I would remember it, but I do remember that later he also fights two guards while the others each only fight one and he seems to do fine. Anyway, that’s something to pay attention to, I guess. It might not even come up though.)

- Athos is such a martyr always :p (sorry but he is! Not in the attention seeking way, but in the gratuitously self-destructive way.) And Tréville’s immediate moodswing when he shows up is gold.

- ... And then Tréville grabs the injured arm lol

- This all also got me thinking about the fact that all four main characters are introduced in the context of them getting their asses kicked. The first thing d’Artagnan does is get beat up. The first thing we really find out about the Three Musketeers is that they lost a fight. These guys might be larger than life in some ways but they’re very much human. They don’t always win and they aren’t above being ridiculed. And their pain and humiliation is kinda funny.

- Of COURSE d’Artagnan doesn’t leave. He might be mortified from witnessing that uncomfortable little drama but he’s not just going to give up, is he?

- .... unless he’s distracted by REVENGE (Well, he is a Dumas protagonist...)

- And without even meaning to, he’s already fully involved in the intrigue. Partly because he just can’t help being too clever for his own good.

I can remember why I was so intent on turning this book into a play as a kid. It’s got that sort of feeling to it, you can easily imagine it on stage. I feel like scenes like these were made to be performed. It has that kind of chaotic energy of a farce (except it doesn’t make me cringe).

Finally, a note on locations again because I’m me:

Rue Férou (where the boys had their little scuffle) is also in the same neighbourhood as d’Artagnan and de Tréville. In fact it’s the next street over from d’Artagnan’s new home and almost crosses with de Tréville’s street.

Also as it happens, it’s later revealed that Athos also lives on the rue Férou.

(I’m not convinced that the street was called Rue Férou in this era though, since all the contemporary maps seem to call it Rue Saint Sulpice (not to be confused with the modern Rue Saint-Sulpice north of the church). On the other hand Wikipedia seems to disagree with me. But do I trust Wikipedia more than the maps which are primary sources? Then again it seems to have been named after a 16th century guy who owned the land it was on. It could of course be that the name IS its original name (the maps from the 16th century don’t label it at all so that doesn’t help) but it was only officially changed to Rue Saint Sulpice for a little while before being changed back because people kept calling it by its old name? That was the sort of thing that happened sometimes. Or maybe Rue Férou was always just a colloquial name that eventually became official.)

Anyway basically everything in Paris so far since d’Artagnan’s arrival has been happening within a very small area!

#3Musketag

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dangermousie · 6 years ago

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You know, now that I think about it, between Dumas novels and various Russian ones, 90% of my childhood ships involved adultery. Granted, I was obsessed with period novels, and when you have arranged marriages, you have plenty of adultery times.

But yes, he definitely cannot live without her. Marrying him off is a total failure, big surprise. (PS I hate cold weather so all I kept thinking during this scene was (a) gorgeous and (b) I would just want to hide somewhere warm, forget romance.)

I feel horrible for Natalya. Arranged marriages work best when both parties have the same amount of emotional investment. But she pines pines pines pines for him and he - gets out of their bed to watch Aksinia’s window.

The whole thing is - nowadays this wouldn't be an issue, even. You wouldn’t even enter into a marriage thinking this is a good way to end a problematic relationship. But even if you did, a quick divorce and that’s the end of it. But here - good luck! This would be a huge scandal in the tiny village and not very feasible at all. I have to give points to Grigory - he’s a horrible husband to his relatively new wife (though in a society, where beating your wife is not even commented on, maybe not) but he’s always been 100% straightforward about what he feels. Still - the scene where he tells her, flat out, that he doesn’t love her, he tried and feels nothing - ouch. His refusal to sugar coat anything is sometimes brave but others is emotionally cruel. (One can argue that Natalya knew what she was getting into because she knew he was into Aksinia before they got married and was warned by her family but insisted on marriage anyway, but she was young and naïve and in love and basically - her punishment for not thinking in being stuck with a marriage to a man who doesn’t want her which is rather much.)

But yeah, pretty trapped - because when she wants to leave (which is reasonable), and Grigory couldn’t care less if she goes - his father has a fit because scandal and immoral and all that. Of course, all that means is that he walks out (quite a contrast when he told Aksinia early on that he Is never leaving the village or the farm and will get married instead.)

I confess I totally laughed at the scene where he comes seeking employment from a local bigwig who agrees and then says he has a woman with him. Big wig say, understandingly but without much interest “your wife?” and he replies “someone else’s.” As I said earlier, he definitely has no problem telling how things are.

Spoiler - nothing good happens to anyone in this story, not long term. 90% of the characters would probably be better off drowning themselves in a river.

Ooooh, I found pretty good general vid for the show:

youtube

PS, I’ve now seen the lead actor in three separate shows - this, Once Upon a Time in Odessa (which is on amazon with subs btw) where he plays a legendary 1920s gangster Mishka Yaponchik (who was a sort of a folk hero), and Godunov where he plays the psychotic False Dmitry. I think I may have an actor crush now because he’s sooooo good and charismatic, even though he is physically not at all my thing - short and his looks aren't my bag.

#and quiet flows the don #period drama #period shows #Russian tv #Тихий Дон

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sakudrew · 6 years ago

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with the advent of them adding duma to feh. would brandon even consider following/worshipping duma if he knew of him? (Love your art btw ^~^)

"Duma, the Fell God... I can understand why some would think I could worship him. I have the same lust for battle and I do share his belief that men need to go through hardship to become trustworthy."

"I do not worship anyone though. Why do gods always need so much attention?"

#fatesona #brandon the bloodthirsty wyvern rider #reply

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sonicskullsalt · 3 years ago

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Dumas wrote three novels about the Musketeers. The last one is called "Le Vicomte de Bragelonne ou Dix ans après" (The Vicompte of Bragelonne or Ten years later). The last part of that novel is the story of The Man in the Iron Mask. So, that one is really a sequel and not fanfic because it's by the same author.

The second novel is called 20 years later btw

ANY TIME SOMEONE SHAMES YOU FOR WRITING FANFICTION

REMEMBER THAT THIS

IS FANFICTION OF THIS

THIS

IS FANFICTION OF THIS

THIS

IS FANFICTION OF THIS and Plato’s Ring of Gyges

AND THIS

A MODERN AU OC-CENTRIC VERSION OF THIS

EVERYTHING IS FANFICTION OF SOMETHING, WE ONLY CARE THAT IT’S GOOD AND MAKES US HAPPY

#alexandre dumas #the musketeers #my reply

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hungarian-words · 7 years ago

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Hungarian slang & everyday language: #1 general stuff

Most things on this list are slang, but some are just words or expressions used commonly in everyday speech. It includes sample sentences, and, if possible, also the non-slang versions of those.

hali - hi

mizu - mi újság? - what’s up? (nowadays used rarer) Mizu is also a name of a very well-known 2011 song. So well know that my classmate put it on in 2016 and 80% of us sang the first verse without a mistake. That doesn’t mean it’s good, it was popular back then, and it left so many deep scars that ppl still remember this. Here, go watch it: Mizu The lyrics: dalszöveg

mém, mémek - meme szleng - slang

- Te egész nap csak mémeket nézel? - “Are you spending the whole day looking at memes?”

csávó, csávók - guy; non-slang version: fiú, fiúk srác, srácok - guy; non-slang version: fiú, fiúk csaj, csajok - girl, the female version of “guy”; non-slang version: lány, lányok

- Az a csávó tök jól tud táncolni! - “That guy can dance really well!” - A srácokkal itt vagyunk a buszmegállóban, ti hol vagytok? - “We [the guys and me] are here at the bus stop, where are you (plural)?” - Ismered azt a csajt, akinek lila haja van? - “Do you know that girl who has purple hair?”

non-slang versions: - Az a fiú nagyon jól tud táncolni! - A fiúkkal itt vagyunk a buszmegállóban, ti hol vagytok? - Ismered azt a lányt, akinek lila haja van?

nőci, nőcik - woman; non-slang version: nő, nők

pasi, pasik - man; non-slang version: férfi, férfiak OR fiú, fiúk pasi can also be used for teenage boys, BUT it highly depends on how old you are. For example, I think girls started calling teenage boys pasi at around 13 years. They also called them fiú, srác, etc, but the point is: calling teenagers that are approx. the same age as you pasi is fine. Calling a teenager pasi who is very younger than you is just weird.

faszi - guy , but fasz (penis) is a cuss word!, so be cautious when using it (unless you want to be rude, or come off as vulgar); plural form not really used; non-slang version: férfi tag - guy , literally “member” (the club-member kind of meaning); plural form not really used; non-slang version: férfi

- Látod a nőcit, akinek kék táskája van? - “Do you see the woman who has a blue handbag?” - Nem mindegyik pasi szereti a focit. - “Not every guy likes football.” - A faszi azt se tudta, milyen évet írunk. - “The guy didn’t even know what year it was.” - A mikulássapkás tagról beszélek. - “I’m talking about the guy with the Santa hat.”

non-slang versions: - Látod a nőt, akinek kék táskája van? - Nem mindegyik férfi szereti a focit. - A férfi azt se tudta, milyen évet írunk. - A mikulássapkás férfiról beszélek.

tesó, tesók - in this context: bro or dude, otherwise: sibling; tesa, tesák - more vulgar version of bro or dude haver, haverok - male friend; non-slang version: barát, barátok (male/gender-neutral friend) or barátnő, barátnők (female friend) elmenni valahova a haverokkal - to go somewhere with male friends; non-slang version: elmenni valahova a barátokkal (but this one is gender-neutral) haverkodni - to be chummy with someone, to get friendly with someone; non-slang version: barátkozni összehaverkodni valakivel - to pal up with someone; non-slang version: összebarátkozni valakivel bírni valakit - to like someone, can be platonic or romantic; non-slang version: kedvelni valakit (this one leans more towards the romantic feelings tho)

- Tesó, ezt tudnod kéne. - “Dude, you should know this.” - Tesa, ezt te sem gondoltad komolyan! - “Dude, not even you could mean this seriously!” - A haverod szeret olvasni? - “Does your friend like to read?” - Este megyünk Pestre a haverokkal. - “We’re going to go to Pest tonight with the guys.” - Bulikon nem szoktál haverkodni? - “Don’t you get chummy with someone during parties?” - Tegnap haverkodtunk össze. - “We paled up yesterday.” - Nem bírom az ilyen embereket. - “I don’t like people like this.”

non-slang versions: - Ezt tudnod kéne. - Ezt te sem gondoltad komolyan! (side note: without the tesó/tesa address, these two can sound agressive) - A barátod/barátnőd szeret olvasni?* - Este megyünk Pestre a barátokkal. - Bulikon nem szoktál barátkozni? - Tegnap barátkoztunk össze. - Nem kedvelem az ilyen embereket. * barát/barátnő: in Hungarian these are used for both platonic and romantic relationships. if someone says to a guy “barátod” they usually mean “male friend”, if they say to him “barátnőd”, they mean “girlfriend”, and vice versa by girls. people have this “everyone is heterosexual" mindset, so the language is used like that too.

pasizni - to pick up guys csajozni - to pick up girls doesn’t 100% translate to picking up guys/girls, - it’s true that if valaki pasizik/csajozik they want to have a contact, but that’s not always the pick-up way. most of the time, but not always

[- Mit tervezel ma estére? - Megyek a csajokkal pasizni./ Megyek a csajokkal csajozni./ Megyek a haverokkal csajozni./ Megyek a haverokkal pasizni./ “csajokkal” can be replaced with the following: lányokkal "haverokkal” can be replaced with the following: fiúkkal; srácokkal both can be replaced by names too, e.g. csajokkal - Rebekáékkal/Liliékkel/Timiékkel/stb. with Rebeka/Lili/Timi and the others csajokkal - Rebekával, Lilivel és Timivel with Rebeka, Lili and Timi haverokkal - Norbiékkal/Boldiékkal/Laciékkal/stb. with Norbi/Boldi/Laci and the others haverokkal - Norbival, Boldival és Lacival with Norbi, Boldi and Laci “What did you plan for tonight?” “I’m heading out with my female friends to pick up guys.”/ “I’m heading out with my female friends to pick up girls.”/ “I’m heading out with my male friends to pick up girls.”/ “I’m heading out with my male friends to pick up guys.”]

tök - very, a lot; adjective; lit.: pumpkin; non-slang version: nagyon dumálni - to talk; non-slang version: beszélgetni duma - bullshit* *I don’t know how inapproriate English considers bullshit, but duma is actually the nicest way to say it in Hungarian.

- Ez tök jó! - “That’s so good!” - Ezt a számot tökre szeretem. - “I like this song very much.” - Most akkor dumálunk, vagy nem? - “So, are we going to talk or not?” - Srácok, fejezzétek már be a dumálást! - “Guys, stop the talking!” - Ez duma! - “That’s bullshit!”

non-slang versions: - Ez nagyon jó! - Ezt a számot nagyon szeretem. - Most akkor beszélünk, vagy nem? - Fiúk, fejezzétek már be a beszélgetést!

jó fej - lit. “good head”; meaning depends on your own definition of jó fej, it can mean someone is friendly, someone is funny, generally if someone says this about a person it means they like them (in a platonic way) [- Milyen volt Zsófinál? - Nem volt olyan rossz! Kiderült, hogy tök jó fej! “How did you feel at Zsófi’s?” “It wasn’t that bad! It turned out she’s cool!”]

cuki - cute; more commonly used by girls and women, boys and men use it in the same manner rarer (unfortunately they use it more in a mocking tone)

[- Kérsz csokit? Nekem nem kell. - De cuki vagy! Igen, kérek. “Would you like some chocolate? I don’t want it.” “You’re so cute! Yes, I would like some.”] - Tök cuki ez a ruha. - “This dress is very cute. - Hogyhogy nem bírod azt a csajt? Tök cuki. - “How come you don’t like that girl? She’s very cute.” - Az a srác tök cuki! - “That guy is very cute!”

non-slang versions: [- Kérsz csokit? Nekem nem kell. - De aranyos vagy! Igen, kérek.] - Nagyon szép ez a ruha. - “This dress is pretty.” - Hogyhogy nem kedveled azt a lányt? Nagyon kedves. - Az a fiú nagyon jóképű!

gyökér, gyökerek - an adjective that’s a mixture of stupid, insane, and asshole; literally: root; will translate it in sample sentences as stupid for it to be easier to read

- A Meli az gyökér! - “Meli is stupid!” - A Marci? A Marci az teljesen gyökér! - “Marci? Marci is completely stupid!” - Ne legyél már ennyire gyökér! - “Don’t be so stupid!” - De hogy lehet valaki ennyire gyökér? - “But how can someone be this stupid?”

tuti - surely; non-slang version: biztos/biztosan tutira - surely; non-slang version: biztos/biztosan

Used: “tuti, hogy” or “tutira” “biztos, hogy” or “biztosan”

- Tuti, hogy ezt mondta? / - Tutira ezt mondta? - “Is this really what she said?” - Tuti, hogy ide kellett jönni? / - Tutira ide kellett jönni? - “Is this really the place we were supposed to come to?”

non-slang versions: - Biztos, hogy ezt mondta? / - Biztosan ezt mondta? - Biztos, hogy ide kellett jönni? / Biztosan ide kellett jönni?

suli, sulik - school; non-slang version: iskola, iskolák doga, dogák - test; non-slang version: dolgozat, dolgozatok (not adding more school vocab because that’s for a separate post)

- Miért kell suliba járni, mikor konkrétan semmi értelme nincsen? - “Why is it mandatory to go to school when it literally makes no sense?” - Remek, akkor németből is írunk dogát! - “Great, then we’ll have a German test too!”

non-slang versions: - Miért kell iskolába járni, mikor konkrétan semmi értelme nincsen? - Remek, akkor németből is írunk dolgozatot!

zabálni - to eat, vulgar; non-slang version: enni kajálni - to eat; non-slang version: enni vedelni - to drink, vulgar; non-slang version: inni

- Úgy zabál, mintha két napja nem evett volna. - “She’s eating as if she hadn’t eaten in two days.” - Mikor kajálunk? - “When are we eating?” - Nem kell ennyit vedelni! - “It isn’t necessary to drink that much!”

non-slang versions: - Úgy eszik, mintha két napja nem evett volna. - Mikor eszünk? - Nem kell ennyit inni!

séró - hairstyle; non-slang version: frizura/haj

meló - work; non-slang version: munka melózni - to work; non-slang version: dolgozni btw our word meló comes from the Hebrew melacha.

- Jó a séród! - “Your hairstyle is great!”

- Milyen a meló? - “How’s work?” - Bocs, nem érek rá, melóznom kell. - “Sorry, can’t make it, I have to work.”

non-slang versions: - Jó a hajad! / - Jó a frizurád! - Milyen a munka? - Bocs, nem érek rá, dolgoznom kell.

The post was created around late 2017/early 2018. Depending on when you are reading it, it may be outdated.

#hungarian slang #this has been in my drafts since november #it took very long to make this #i kept on adding and adding new stuff to it and it got soo long #i literally changed my bio to say that i wont be making new posts #and then i actually get motivation to edit my drafts #reverse psychology works #original content

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