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tinytinyblogs · 13 days ago

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Darling, i'm sorry..

After a fight, they need to make things right with you.

Hyung line, Maknae line

💬 Life feels like a rollercoaster, and here I am, still pouring my thoughts onto the page, hoping this time it's something worth reading.

Stray kids masterlist

Your insights and reactions make these posts come alive. Love reblogs, comments, and all the good vibes welcome ✨

Han

Sometimes, Han’s tendency to overthink would get the better of him, especially when it came to his emotions. He found himself tangled in his thoughts, turning minor issues into bigger problems. That's often where the arguments would start—over something small and insignificant. He’d begin to complain, nitpicking every detail, and before long, his voice would rise, frustration spilling over. The tension would build between you two, creating a moment of distance, even though the argument itself didn’t seem that important. After a while, though, you would both take time apart, letting things cool down. Han would often sit in silence, reflecting on his actions. His eyes would wander to the closed bedroom door where you were, and he’d start thinking about the argument again. Slowly, it would hit him how much his overreactions could cost him. The fear of losing you, the one person he loved most, would wash over him, stronger than any frustration he’d felt earlier. In those moments, he realized that his biggest fear wasn’t the fight itself but the thought of pushing you away.

He took a hesitant step closer to the bedroom door, feeling the weight of the moment settle heavily on his shoulders. For a brief moment, he stood in silence, contemplating everything that had transpired between you both. His heart raced as he reached out, his hand finally grasping the doorknob, and he turned it slowly, the soft creak of the door echoing in the stillness of the room. When he stepped inside and his eyes fell on you, he was struck by the sight of you silently crying, your shoulders trembling with the weight of your emotions. A deep sigh escaped his lips as he quietly closed the door behind him, wanting to create a barrier between the two of you and the outside world. He moved closer, his footsteps barely making a sound on the floor, as he settled down beside you on the bed. Without saying a word, he allowed his forehead to rest gently against your shoulder, seeking comfort in your presence. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered, his voice low and filled with a mixture of remorse and vulnerability.

“It’s such a silly thing we fought about, and I never wanted to hurt you.” He lifted his head slightly, looking deep into your tear-filled eyes, and reached out to gently wipe the tears from your cheeks with his thumb. The tenderness of the gesture held a promise of understanding and love. “You know I love you, right? More than anything in this world,” he continued, his voice thick with emotion. “It hurts so much to even think about the possibility of you walking out of my life. I can’t imagine what that would be like.” His heart ached as he watched the pain in your eyes, and he knew that the love he felt for you was more profound than any argument they could ever have. He wanted nothing more than to bridge the gap that had formed between you, to reassure you that no disagreement could ever diminish the bond you shared. In that quiet moment, he hoped you could feel his sincerity, and he silently vowed to do whatever it took to make things right between you two, to ensure that the love you both cherished would always prevail.

Felix

He often gets so absorbed in his games that it feels like he’s in another world, completely disconnected from everything around him. His intense focus blocks out everything, including you. You’ve seen it happen before—he becomes so fixated on his game that it's as if you’re invisible, no matter what you say or do. He doesn’t mean to push you away, but in those moments, it’s hard not to feel ignored and unimportant. It’s like he’s locked inside his own bubble, and you’re left standing on the outside. You try to be patient, but after a while, it becomes too much. You grab your things, deciding to leave. As you walk toward the door, frustration bubbling inside, you hear a shift behind you. He’s realized what’s happening. His head snaps up from the game, the characters on his screen frozen, as he rises from his chair. Losing the game is the least of his worries now. All that matters is stopping you from walking out. Just as you’re about to open the apartment door, his hand catches yours, gently but firmly holding you back. His touch is a silent apology, a sign that he knows he’s hurt you.

He held your hand, his eyes meeting yours, searching for something—understanding, forgiveness. His expression alone spoke volumes, conveying the apology he couldn’t put into words. For a moment, he stood still, the silence between you filled with unspoken regret. Then, he took a few steps closer, the faint sound of his game still playing in the background, left running—something he almost never did. It was a small sign, but enough to show you just how much his focus had shifted to you, and how much he cared in this quiet, vulnerable moment. "Don’t go…" he whispered, his voice soft but filled with an urgency that cut through the silence. It was low, almost pleading, but you heard it clearly. "Please, don’t go. I don’t want you to." His hand tightened around yours, his desperation growing with each passing second. He repeated, "I’m sorry, please… don’t leave me." His breath was shaky as he struggled to find the right words, his emotions getting the better of him. "You’re more important than everything… more important than anything else," he said, his voice breaking slightly.

"I know I messed up, but I can’t lose you. I’ll do anything, just… stay." His eyes searched yours, filled with a mix of regret and fear, his vulnerability laid bare in those few words. His hand gently caressed your cheek, the warmth of his touch calming the tension between you. He leaned in and placed a soft kiss on your forehead, his lips lingering there for a brief moment as if to silently promise things would get better. "Let’s do something together," he said softly, his voice filled with tenderness. "I’ll turn off my computer." He stepped back slightly, his eyes locking with yours in a way that made you feel seen, as if all his attention was now on you. "It’s been a while since we did a cooking date, hasn’t it?" he asked, a small, hopeful smile tugging at his lips. "Should we cook something special or maybe bake together?" There was a light in his eyes now, a spark of excitement as he tried to reconnect with you, eager to bring back the simple joys you once shared.

Seungmin

There are times when Seungmin’s words can be quite sharp. While you understand this side of him, knowing that he doesn't always mean to come across so harshly, it doesn’t change the fact that some of his remarks still hit you hard, especially when you’re feeling low yourself. In those moments, the weight of his words feels even heavier, like a blade slicing through an already fragile situation. The tension builds until both of you are trading hurtful words back and forth. Eventually, it escalates to the point where you and Seungmin decide to walk away, giving yourselves space to cool off. As you turn to leave, you catch a glimpse of Seungmin’s expression—his face is blank, almost emotionless, as if nothing you said got to him. But you know better. It’s just a mask he wears, hiding the fact that he’s upset, deeply wounded, especially when he watches you walk away. Seeing your back as you leave stings more than he’s willing to admit. His pride and ego hold him back from saying something right away, but after some time passes, you find him standing there, leaning against the wall, arms crossed tightly over his chest, waiting for you.

The moment he spots you, he slowly drops his arms, his eyes locking on yours. For a few long, tense moments, neither of you says anything, both drawn into the silence that hangs between you, heavy with unspoken feelings. He lets you open the door first, quietly following you inside without saying a word. As the two of you sit down on the couch, the silence stretches between you, heavy and awkward. You sit side by side, close but somehow feeling distant. After what feels like an eternity, you notice him looking down at his hands, his fingers fidgeting nervously as he awkwardly caresses his own knee. There’s a tension in the air, thick with unsaid things. “I realized I was wrong,” he finally admits, his voice quiet but sincere. “I shouldn’t have said those things.” He pauses, his eyes still fixed on his hands as if he can’t bring himself to meet your gaze. “I didn’t mean it... you know me. I’m not good at expressing how I feel.” His voice trails off, and you can hear the struggle in his tone, the vulnerability that he so rarely shows. It’s not easy for him to admit his mistakes.

And the fact that he’s saying it now, in this moment, speaks volumes about how much he regrets what happened. He glances at you, noticing how you seem lost in your thoughts, your eyes fixed on the floor. For a moment, he hesitates, unsure of how to reach you. Slowly, he extends his hand and gently takes yours, his thumb brushing softly over the back of your hand in a comforting gesture. The warmth of his touch pulls you out of your thoughts, though you still don’t meet his gaze. “I made reservations,” he says quietly, breaking the silence. You look at him, a little confused at first. “At that restaurant you mentioned—the one you said you wanted to try.” His voice is soft but carries a hopeful tone, as if he’s trying to rebuild a bridge between you. Your eyes finally meet his, and you see the sincerity in them, the way he’s trying to make things right, to reconnect. “Let’s... go on a date,” he suggests, his voice a little more sure now. “I miss us. I miss our time together.” The words are simple but carry a weight of longing, and in that moment, you feel the gap between you starting to close, if only a little.

Jeongin

Jeongin's clumsiness had always been a part of him, something almost endearing in most situations, but this time it came at the worst possible moment. The argument had started over something small, but it quickly spiraled into something bigger—something that meant a lot to him. It was about one of those things he'd worked so hard for, something that he held close to his heart. Yet, in the heat of the moment, his words came out wrong. He felt cornered and defensive, and that only led to more hurt. Instead of fixing things, his attempts to explain himself only worsened the situation, breaking what he had worked so hard to build. The argument turned into a full-blown fight, and before he knew it, both of you were deeply upset. Jeongin hated it. He never wanted to be in this kind of conflict, especially not with the person he loved most in the world. But there he was, standing in the middle of it, and though he knew it was wrong, he couldn’t stop. His pride had taken over, and his ego spoke for him instead of his heart.

He wanted you to understand his side too, but it seemed impossible to get his point across without sounding cold or distant. After the fight, Jeongin was left with a gnawing feeling of regret. He thought about it over and over, replaying the conversation in his head, wishing he'd said things differently. He wanted to apologize so badly, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He was too shy, too proud, too unsure of how you'd react. Several times, he picked up his phone, thinking about texting you, typing out the words he wanted to say. But each time, his fingers hovered over the send button before he ultimately deleted the message. He would stare at the empty screen, sighing in frustration, wishing he could express how he really felt without the fear of making things worse. Days passed, and with each one, Jeongin found it harder to think about what to say. The more time went by, the more he realized it wasn’t about finding the perfect words. He didn't need a carefully crafted apology or a long explanation. What he really wanted was to fix things, to go back to how they were before the fight.

So, without thinking about it too much, his feet led him to your place. There was no grand plan, no rehearsed speech. When he saw you, all the hesitation, the worry, the uncertainty melted away. Without saying a word, he walked straight up to you and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a sudden, unexpected hug. He buried his face in the crook of your neck, inhaling your familiar scent—the one he loved more than anything. His embrace was warm, a comfort you hadn’t realized you missed after days of distance between you. "I’m stupid," he whispered, his voice soft and regretful. "The fight was stupid." His arms tightened around you as if he was afraid to let go. "I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to break it, and I didn’t mean to scream at you." After a moment, he pulled back, his eyes locking onto yours with a sincerity that made your heart ache. "I’ll buy a new one," he promised softly, his voice laced with remorse. "And I’ll make it up to you, to us. I’m sorry… I love you." His words hung in the air, filled with a quiet desperation to fix what had been broken, to start again.

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whispereons · 1 year ago

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Masterlist!

I'm Whispereons and I mainly write yandere Genshin Impact fics. The SAGAU is my long time obsession if it wasn't obvious.

For ease of convenience I will have this masterlist pinned with my works, taglist, and tags used on my blog.

Currently I don't have any rules to abide by. I enjoyed all the comments, reblogs, asks and submissions I received thus far!

Just a warning for anyone new, I advise you to make sure your blog has some form of personalization. Like a profile pic, a sentence saying hello in your bio or even just a single post saying you're human will do. It's to prevent you from getting the report and block combo when I do my spam/porn bot purges.

SAGAU works

Oracle!Reader - with my current editor @serpent-benediction (hopefully) fixing up the older chapters.

Followers Special: 1K

Inazuma:

City - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 Sea - Part 6, Part 7, Part 8

Liyue:

City - Part 9, Part 10, Wilderness - Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18 City V2 - Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24, Part 25

(Don't judge my old works too harshly, I really was new at writing!)

Self-aware Genshin Impact Series (incomplete): Warmth, Screen, Team Player, Over This Shit

Oneshots - Another Drink, It's tough to be a God

Normal Yandere Genshin Impact:

Venti/Barbatoes x EOS!Reader: Planned, Protection or Possession?, Control

General Yandere Posts:

Male yandere x fem reader: Insecurity

Tags to use to navigate my posts!

#whisp's amateur work - all of my writing

#sagau oracle au - everything related to my oracle!reader (was implemented late so the first tag is more reliable)

#a whispered response - me answering asks/submissions

#whisp's collection - my personal collection of my fav authors, artists, and anything else. My mindless reblogs aren't tagged with anything to avoid cluttering the tag system.

#peering into the whisp - if I get personal asks, this is the tag I would use

If you regularly sends asks with some way to identify you then I usually give you a tag too.

My taglist for my Oracle!Reader:

If you are in italics, that means I couldn't tag you! That could be due to you being shadow banned or having your settings set to hide you from being searched. I will keep this master list updated with each new user, I truly don't mind tagging you all. It's honestly a nice feeling.

@vvyeislazzy, @nikqi, @the-dumber-scaramouche, @etherisy, @yourlocalstranger123, @ra404, @iruiji, @goldenglow149, @haru-tofuu, @lsleepysimpl, @bebobeboben, @yuyuzi-ling, @amidst-the-tempest, @resident-cryptid, @mxd1zzy, @mochicurls21, @nervouseaglelover, @thedevioussmirk, @yumuramma, @kwqsla, @undecidingfate, @ehjane, @game-savvy, @akiramirae, @liansh3ng, @fluffy-koalala, @formacoon, @sxftiebee, @khxii-i, @ursinaw, @chuuya-brainrot, @sweetbills, @kazuchaos, @snowfoxnix, @bluebelony, @shellofthewell, @pencil-of-ashes, @ghostlyintervention, @taiformaifoe, @goaudduck, @carminerin, @maddysflowers, @zenith-of-all-zenith, @crazydreamcat, @leafanonsforest, @grimreapersscythe, @leylanx, @sapphireknown, @help-whatdoimakemyusername

@zhonglisfruityass, @mer0n37, @victoria1676, @mochinessss, @sinnful-darling, @emilymikado, @pix-stuff, @esthelily, @luxie963, @emmbny, @starsofabundance, @kbar1013, @xxblackroses623xx, @chxrlxtteee, @aludicpoet, @yandematic, @atrcclovsxoxo, @0lshadyl0, @esthelily, @t-rex-red, @ck123, @steadybreadbluebird, @118gremlin, @stratonia, @time-shardz, @farelady-fate, @valeriele3, @francisnyx, @byakuren100, @waveto-earth, @flyingpansaurus, @silverstarred, @iamapotatoe, @ghosthii, @beloveddroplet, @uchihaeirin, @ibelieveinsleep, @idk098, @thefirstonetoeverlikemeback, @toramune, @haaaaaades, @horologiumwise, @melovaaaa, @alittletiredcry, @aphxdea, @atsukawolfcat, @desirabletravel, @pinkpainc, @eccedentesiast-sapphic, @yuyuzi-ling, @hyperfixationwhore

@juuuuuj101010, @avalordream, @kurayamioterasu, @tottybear, @koiikuno, @lynx-of-skies, @quacking-simp, @synthe4u, @kascar-chronicle, @hug4helios, @hug4helios, @silverstarred, @koiikuno, @ithoughtthinks, @remiivx, @lemonade7255, @melpomenelurks, @average-yandere-enjoyer, @mnhao, @fuji-sen, @altumsomnum, @hehothrowawayfae, @unofficialabortive, @magnum0pus2231, @xxnessinessiellexx, @multiliker, @intpessimistic, @kitsunelivesyet, @extremelytoastybread, @mercy-not-merci, @silvermoon617, @evaline-ethan, @fallintothechasm, @imgonnaeatthatglitter, @bunniotomia, @3noa3, @astro-stars, @beary-kalkus, @yourfavepookiebear, @original-person, @alexx197197, @dxprived4-starboys, @bunniotomia, @smokycoffe, @hydroarchon-furinaa, @armystaysatnct

#whisp's amateur work #a whispered response #sagau cult au #whisp's collection #peering into the whisp #official masterlist #For those wondering #The cat covering my blog is my dear Obsidian <3 #if he dies #I may actually drop Tumblr #but that's not going to happen as he's young and a housecat #he's living all 18 years estimated #and WOW I didn't expect to have so many liyue chapters #There's just so many people in Liyue that it makes it long #How do ya'll read my stuff??? lol

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heartfullofleeches · 1 year ago

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Incubus/Cupid Streamer Darling... Couldn't decide on one so you get both versions of this cutie

Incubus Darling - an idol of lust takes a different approach to their job by becoming a livestreamer and drawing their prey upon them as opposed to hastle of seeking foolish humans out themselves plus they don't have to actually touch any of them. They primarily focus on gaming and asmr - wearing as little clothing as guidelines will allow whenever they're on camera and post their various states of dress online to the hungry crowds.

They become a successful steamer with anything they could ever want thrown at them... which also includes things they don't. Stray messages pop up here and there of people confessing their love- not lust, to the demon. Wanting to take them out on romantic dates, wishing to grow old or even just hold hands with them. It confuses and shocks the devil to their core. They block these people, but they just make alt accounts and the cycle continues. The incubus' bewilderment is seen as the cutest thing to their audience so they dial back on the sexually charged flirting and compliment other assets they adore. Reader did not sign up for this, but it's all online so they should be fine. Until they find out they shouldn't click on every link that's sent to them

Yan Chat: I want you to [censored] my [censored] until I [censored]

Incubus Streamer: Yes... good...

Yan Chat: I want to us to have a spring wedding and grow old seeking no other comfort than being in each other's arm

Incubus Streamer: ... [dials the police]

Cupid Darling - A messenger of love that also takes a different approach to their job by becoming a livestreamer. Does gaming streams on week days and offers love advice on weekends. May not be as innocent as they seem to always forget to put on pants or wears tee shirts that are just a little too big/small - flashing the camera whenever they move to stand up.

They're the sweetest thing around, always encouraging their chat to go out and find true love when they've all found it right there in the form of their innocent angel. Gets so flustered and bashful from lustful comments their audience can't help up send in more and articles of themselves to help reader along. Poor cupid sits on their floor with boxes of used lingerie and photos around them and is very tempted to use their offerings, but feels so so dirty for giving in

Yan Chat: Cupid? I really need your help :( There's this cute person I've been interested in and I have no idea how to even speak to them

Cupid Reader: Well tell me a bit about them and maybe I can help!

Yan Chat: You might know them. They have the softest looking wings and the cutest little halo. Their voice is so cute too- I just want to hear them scream my name as I grab their waist and just-

Cupid Reader, Visibly sweating: God, pick me up - I'm scared

Both are heavily sponsored by adult toy sites/sent them from their audience, but the differences are funny to me

Cupid Streamer, holding a dildo: Oh my... This is almost as big as m.... y heart! Aha!

Incubus Streamer, holding a dildo: Meh- Mines bigger. Wanna see?~

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere imagines #yandere scenarios #yandere insert #yandere oc #yandere headcanons #yandere blurb #angel reader #demon reader #yandere drabble #yandere text #tw yandere

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mammaonii · 1 month ago

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Kinktober week1 Yan!König With autistic reader

Note: this is a spur of the moment kinktober piece sorry and english isn't my best language.

I THOUGHT THIS POSTED ON THE SECOND BUT I SAVED IT TO MY DRAFTS BY ACCIDENT! ;-;

Slowly, methodically, König has been separating you from everyone. You didn't even realize it when he blocked your parents numbers on your phone. Even going as far as too make you quit work reminding you about how it overwhelms you so much, making you rely entirely on him for support. Exactly like he planned it to be, now he just had to push you over the edge, to make you his completely, to break your mind and body so all you knew was him. 'Oh my beloved if only you knew how my heart aches when I can not see you, when I can not hold your beautiful body nor gaze at your sleeping form.'

It's been a bit sense König came back home. But when he did he'd brought you some cute clothes with the tags already cut off and a new perfume! It smells amazing and the bottle is so cute! You thanked König and went to shower and put some on. "Oh how sweet you'll taste my dear, I simply can't wait." König mutters to himself once you're out of earshot. He's long replaced your birth control having figured out his best opportunity to make you fat with his child.

You ready yourself for bed none the wiser to König's plan, after all why would he ever do you any harm? Once finished you show König the outfit he bought you. "Do you like it my dear?" his voice rumbles, like thunder a growl caught in a brewing storm. You nod feeling your face flush a light dusting of blush across your cheeks.

'Oh how cute you are, so sweet so innocent and trusting. So unaware of the trap he's put out just for you.' König re-arranges himself when you're not looking, his pants quickly becoming to small for comfort. "you look beautiful my darling, far to sweet for anyone else to see." König growls

You giggle causing König to tilt his head slightly "Something funny my dear?" He asks, voice low stepping closer placing his large leathery hands on your shoulders. You shake your head calling him cute asking if he was trying to woo you like some kind of bird? He merely chuckles pulling you close to him. "What kind of bird could keep such a tasty treat like you, untouched?" König's eyes darken his question sounding more like a statement.

You're stuck pondering what bird he could be talking about. Too deep in thought mmmm that autism be hit'n to notice the quickly growing tent in König's pants. König notes your perplexed expression wondering if he could use the moment to his advantage a bit.

"My dear friend, might I suggest something?" His tone completely unreadable to you. "A game if you will, one I've heard the youth talk about playing." His hands move down your body, one large hand over your stomach and the other on your hip. "It's a question game, one that makes you choose to do something or answer the question." He leans in close to you, his warm breath on your shoulder. "Please, I'd love to play. Won't you play a game with this old man?" He coos voice little more than a growl.

You don't even know how you got here. It's been hours and you're so overstimulated you can't even think. König's been lapping up your juices sense this morning, acting and sounding like a starved beast.

"My love" he moans into your inner thigh. "All I can think about is you, did you know that" He licks a thick stripe up your core positioning his thick fingers at your weeping entrance. "Now that I have you" his fingers slowly prod at your hole circling around it. "I want to rip you open" he thrusts two of his fingers in aiming for that delicious spot inside you. "I'll tear open my own ribcage to show you my heart so please my love, let me see yours!" His fingers thrust at a maddening pace hitting such good spots making you squirm and mewl. "I will see it, I will see you, all of it inside and out. You'll be here until I've memorized every sound, every delicious movement you can make" König adds a third finger making your body tense up and attempt to move away. What a mistake.

"DON'T YOU DARE MOVE AWAY FROM ME!"

König's voice booms like cracking thunder making you freeze. His eyes are stone cold as he rips his fingers from you harshly grabbing your hips. "How dare you. How dare, I have been nothing but kind to you." The gifts, clothes, money and time he's put into you and you try to get away from him?! He tears away his boxers cock springing to life balls heavy, ready to fill you to the brim. "You'll have to be punished for hurting me so" he lines himself up and slams in as far as you can take him. "So small, so tight" he whimpers "Ah! I can feel your cervix kissing my cock, she must know there's more of me waiting outside" he chuckles.

König moves your legs up and over his shoulders, allowing him to force you into a mating press. "Let me have a proper taste this time my dear" he says just before slamming his cock into you, setting a desperate but determined rhythm. His heavy balls slapping your ass as he thrusts wildly dead set on breaking you and breeding you.

You can hardly breathe with König putting all his weight on you. Your hands are desperate, clawing at his body trying to anchor yourself to no avail. You try to beg, to plead with him but it's no use König's far too pussy drunk to hear.

"Mine,Mine,Mine" he chants desperate and depraved. His cock bruising your cervix, pussy lips raw as he keeps going. "I'm close my love" he pants out, gripping your shoulders to push you into him further. "Mine, you'll be mine. I'll keep you here, break you if I must" his thrusts growing sloppy it takes all he has not to crush you. "After all, I'll be here for you, I'll take care of you. Carry you like a precious doll fat with my children." He slams his hips down into you crushing your body under his. "Just be good" König pants "like this, like you are now. Just let me fuck you until I break" his voice desperate despite the look on his face. "I can't tolerate anything else my dear, do you understand?" König asks gently. His cock still firmly smashed into you.

#yandere x you #yandere x reader #cod x reader #kinktober #konig #cod konig #konig fanfiction #konig smut #this bitch #it took me so fucking long #FOR NO REASON

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dontbesoweirdkira · 8 months ago

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Kira’s Masterlist

Mafia Trilogy, Mortal Kombat, Invincible, D.C., Marvel, The Hunger Games, House of Ashes, Slashers, Apex, Overwatch, TWDG, StarWars, Borderlands,..to be continued

Requests open 24/7

(Yandere Alphabet) (Yandere prompt list)

Please be specific when requesting. This is mainly a yandere blog, if you don't want it to be yandere, state that. Please let me know the character(s), scenario, and extra information you'd like me to know. Or you’ll be ignored. Not all requests will be answered. I just cannot find inspiration for every single one.

(Do not flood my ask box with useless things. It makes it hard to get to the people who actually want their things seen and written. I don't mind a little funny things here and there but just once and leave. You will be insta blocked if you say degrading and annoying things. Thanks.)

Default is she/her pronouns. Can do gender neutral. Mainly only write men but can write for women if it’s platonic. Most characters from my listed fandoms are available to request. Any fandom not listed you can ask if I know them because chances are that I most likely do.

Don’t write: NSFW, Ocs and anything that is so degenerative that you’d be shunned even on the early internet.

Do Write: Yandere, fluff, oddly specific requests, disabilities, illnesses, most things tbh

I don’t bite ;)

Mafia Trilogy

Members Yandere types

Tommy Angelo

How many kids would he have?

Paulie Lombardo

¡Yandere! Paulie protects you

How many kids would he have?

How would he be as a dad?

Sam Trapani

¡Yandere!Sam getting rid of your admirer

Bonus pt.2^

Yandere alphabet-ABIJ

Yandere fluff

How many kids would he have?

How would he be as a dad?

Vito Scaletta

Dad Scaletta

Time traveler reader

Time traveler pt.2

Yandere Alphabet

Mortal Kombat 1, 11, and X

Mk11 and 1 w/ low emotional intelligence darling

Mk11 Yandere sub-zero and scorpion

Yandere MK11 harem x reader

Yandere MK11 harem pt.2

revenant harem w/ queen darling

Fluffy Kira’s favorites with a clingy s/o

Yandere Johnny,Lao and Erron with a darling in a wedding dress

Kung Lao

General Yandere headcannons

Comforts you from somniphobia/noctophobia

Erron Black

He kidnaps you

masochist drabble

Johnny Cage

Platonic yandere with a young star

Yandere Alphabet

Yandere Johnny w/ singer! S/O

Kenshi

yandere kenshi who is obsessed w/ your touch

Raiden

Yandere Raiden take cares of sick darling

Yandere Raiden with disabled darling

Yandere Raiden sleepwatches you

Yandere Raiden harem

Baraka

Soft yandere drabbles

Mark Grayson

Yan! Mark grayson gets jealous over your friends

Pure crack- Yan! Mark grayson w/ batsis

platonic yan! batboys reacting to you dating

Mark Grayson w/batsis (crackkkk)

platonic yan! jason x dick x batsis

Weaponized incompetence discussion post

Yan! Platonic! Jason and Dick w/ understanding batsis darling

Jason Todd

Platonic !yan¡ Jason w/ batsis darling

Platonic yan! Jason w/batsis that died by the joker with him

Platonic yan! Jason’s reaction to you dying and coming back

Dick Grayson

Platonic !yan! Dick w/ batsis darling

discussion post ^

Platonic!yan! Dick w/ bullied batsis

Romantic!yan! Dick w/baby trapped darling

Romantic! Yan! Dick kissing Drabble

Batsis reacts to cheating dick Grayson platonic yan!

Discussion post^^

Tim Drake

platonic!yan! Tim w/ batsis reader

Bruce Wayne

Platonic Yan! Bruce w/ robin darling

Marvel

TASM! Peter Parker

TM! Peter Parker

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sgiandubh · 2 months ago

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Dear Plagiarism Anon

You wrote and I immediately blocked you (this #silly game must end at some point, don't you think?):

You sound suspiciously the same as the three other Anons sent to me over this last week and I think I know who the fuck you are, darling.

You also know very well that, at this point in time, there are no more neutrals in this fandom. Playing Switzerland in Gaza only suits tone-deaf R2D2 Marple and her hypocrite minions - it has never been my cup of tea. And let common sense be the judge of my supposed irrelevance, when I see you pouncing on my inbox like the deranged troll you are, each and every time I am posting something.

I hope you do have a family, too: mine is a wonderful bunch of people I have not seen in almost six years. I intend to compensate this shameful situation before I will have to leave them again for a while. I also think it is absolutely clear I am not working for you and as such, not bound to write every single day or disclose any content in my possession.

I have never plagiarized anyone, in my entire life. I was, in turn, plagiarized myself, by a couple of you guys across the street. Imitation being the best form of (questionable) flattery, it amused me at first, until it didn't. Is this your latest theory on me? Pity is probably the best word to describe my reaction.

Grammar and vocabulary policing responds to your mean allegations about shippers being stupid and unable to read, write or speak proper English. I have explained that hundreds of times. You can do better, too, and prove what the fuck you said. But you won't, because this is not how this idiotic game works, is it?

#anon #fandom #shitshow

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think-like-a-poet · 3 months ago

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Put on the camera

Oscar Piastri x Lando Norris (Gamer/ Only fans AU)

Based on this post from @russver .Thank you for letting me use this idea and I hope you like it

also able to read on my ao3

Warning: Only fans, smut, rough language, let me know if I need to add anything Still trying to find how to write smut better.

▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰

Did they ever truly plan for this to unfold? Not that they could remember— it simply came to be. One time changed to every week turned into eight times a month. Streaming didn't have a high enough income for the lifestyle they both craved, it should have just been something to help out. A helping hand , something to look back on when they need it. How could it have evolved into something so much more?

They were referred to as roommates, a label history would easily place upon them. When Lando's previous roommate moved out, Oscar was the first to respond to the call for a new companion. That was two years ago. Now, after twenty-four months and countless nights spent in each other’s company, they found themselves unsure of how to halt this momentum.

Right now, they were both seated in their own rooms as the stream was about to start. Lando had turned into a sensation on Twitch; Oscar was more popular on the other site.

"Welcome Darlings, to the new stream," Lando's voice beamed through Oscar's headset as he loaded the game. The Australian hadn't put on his camera or microphone yet, just letting Lando do the introduction. Like he always does by the streams.

Oscar waved at the camera and the chat went feral. Lando laughed at the comments, saying their unholy thoughts about the gamer. It would be funny as long as Lando was the person he shared his bed with.

Lando opened up his library with games and took a minute to decide which one they were going to play today. "Are you alright with F1 sim racing?"

Oscar nodded and looked for his own game on his PC. Lando always chose the play with Carlos Sainz, a Ferrari driver, while Oscar chose the newest rookie, Fernando Alonso, in the Aston Martin.

Oscar turned to the camera as he pointed out the obvious, "He probably doesn't want to play Call of Duty." Too scared to lose again," Lando faked a gasp as his hand flew to his heart.

"I am not scared to lose, because I don't lose." Lando tried to explain the chat with his hands. Oscar just laughed as he shook his head, remembering how he clearly won in the latest stream.

The game had finally loaded and the two cars were seated on the race track. The players focused on the screen as the lights went out. It wasn't much of a difference, but Oscar was a bit faster with his reaction.

Lando groaned as he had to keep driving behind the green car. He tried to overtake, but Oscar blocked it, sending him wide in the next corner. "Ey, you got to leave the space." Lando explained, but Oscar just kept racing.

A new subscriber entered the screen, and both of the drivers said hello to them. They loved a big audience.

By every corner he took, Oscar's muscles flexed on screen. Lando kept taking quick glances at his screen in the corner. Oscar's hand looked so big on the wheel and Lando wished it was him. Before he knew it, Lando had crashed the car into the barrier as he forgot to take a corner while admiring his roommate.

Oscar let out a low laugh as Lando groaned in annoyance. "What happened?"

"You didn't leave enough space," Lando lied as he drove the car out of the gravel.

Oscar raised his eyebrows at the statement, taking a quick look at the camera corner as he exclaimed, "Mate, I am three seconds in front of you. What do you mean?"

Lando had gotten the car back on track, but Oscar was leading the race by a big margin. "I don't know. It is still your fault," he joked as he shook his head at the camera. The chat loved their little banter as they all shared their thoughts on it.

'These streams are always so funny,'

'I ship them so much,'

'Sometimes they fight like a married couple, and I love it'

'the heart eyes Lando gave Oscar before he crashed have to be looked at'

'We all know why he got distracted,'

Oscar ignored most of these comments, but something in his stomach fluttered at the thought of Lando being distracted by him. He had to look back at the edits the fans would make on the stream. It would be good material to blackmail the British friend.

Lando wasn't able to catch up with the other car and had to deal with a second-place finish. "You know, no one likes the winner anyway." He tried to sound serious, but his statement was laced with a joke.

"You are just sad you didn't win. Got to know I was better at this than you."

They played some more games before ending the stream. "Thank you all for watching. We hope you enjoyed it." Then they waved goodbye and closed it off.

As they turned off their cameras and microphones, it was time to catch their breath and put on the other one. Oscar stood up from his chair and walked towards his dresser. He took off his hoodie before making his way towards the other bedroom. He wasn't going to need that amount of closing for this stream.

He saw Lando still closing off all his tabs. He had a bad habit of keeping everything open and losing the ones he still needed to use. "Hello, love," Oscar greeted as he placed a kiss on the top of his head. Lando looked up, not hearing that Oscar had walked in because of his headphones. He smiled up at him and got up from his chair.

The bedroom was lightly light by the red LED lights on the wall. Lando had some posters of a famous golfer and a sports car. Pictures of him and Oscar were splattered all around the room. Some are more friendly than others. Lando always loved to capture the most beautiful angles and Oscar was one of them. Lando absolutely loved to take pictures when they were involved in the devil's tango.

Oscar went to sit down on the bed as Lando walked to the shelf to get the tripod out.

Their clothes had found their way towards the ground in Lando's bedroom. The little ray of the sunset cast a golden glow on the Brits bare stomachs, outlining his perfect physics. Oscar always loved the sight of it and so did their followers. It brought home some new jewelry for him.

Oscar's eyes were fixed on the back of his roommate as Lando set the tripod on the dresser in front of the bed. It would be a normal stream. No special requests or special orders, just for all of their followers. They were both tired from the game and weren't going to go all out. Also, Oscar wasn't ready yet to do what that old bastard requested.

Lando turned around to look Oscar in the eyes, "You ready?" the younger man nodded as he swallowed his worries away. The duvet under him felt like a soft cloud as it gave him reassurance.

He turned the camera on and Oscar filled the screen. Lando adored the sight of him on his bed, it looked like it was destined to be like that. He sat down next to him on the bed and grabbed the neck of the Australian between his hands as he kissed him rough, "Hello, Darling. I missed you so much. Did you miss me?"

Oscar wasn't able to answer the older man as his lips reattached. The timer ticked off the seconds as their lips moved in sync to their beating hearts, rapid and loud. "Isn't he beautiful?" Lando asked towards the camera, as if he would get a response back. They may be in their own little world, but people are watching them. "I should punish you for what you said, but I love you too much for that."

Their eyes locked as Lando's fingers hooked on Oscar's black boxer. "We should get rid of these, shouldn't we?" He asked, not breaking eye contact as he slowly pulled them off. Oscar was already hardened by the minimal touches and Lando couldn't help but feel proud of himself.

The boxer was thrown by the rest of the clothes, the only thing that kept Oscar from being completely naked was a necklace he got from Lando to remind him about him when they were separated.

Oscar's eyes fluttered close as Lando stroked him. "Please," he croaked out. He needed Lando to touch him. To take him all in, while he would beg for a release.

He licked the tip, which was leaking some pre-cum, and the noise that Oscar made was heaven. The Aussie's head was thrown back in pleasure as Lando continued to lick up and down his length.

Their eyes locked again when Lando moved up to place a quick kiss on his lips before trailing a line of kisses back down, stopping right above his throbbing. Oscar wanted to push him right on it and let him ride it, but he knew that wasn't the plan for today.

Oscar's cheeks were rose red, with puffy lips and fluttering eyes, and Lando wished he could take a picture of the sight. His uncombed hair stuck to his forehead as Lando continued his work.

Every now and then they forget the camera is still recording them, and they aren't the only people who are enjoying this. Oscar looked away from the curly-haired man and locked eyes with the screen as he let out a loud moan of pleasure.

"Such a good boy for us," Lando breathed out, and Oscar threw his head back with a groan from the feeling of the breath in his manhood. The praise that fell from Oscar's tongue sounded like heaven, and Lando didn't know how long he was able to continue this. His own hard cock was leaking pre-cum on his stomach from the sight in front of him. How could one be so beautiful?

If it weren't for the camera, Lando would have said those three words that flew through his mind. He needed Oscar to know it—to know if the other felt the same way as him.

Oscar's hands pull the curly hair and Lando groans as his cock hits the back of his throat. "Fuck, don't stop. You feel so good," Oscar moaned out as Lando sucked him off.

It was a beautiful sight. Lando was on his knees in front of

Oscar as he continued to suck him off. One of Lando's hands played with his balls as the other pressed Oscar's thighs down on the bed. Oscar leaned on the bedpost to keep in balance as his thoughts disappeared with every touch.

No one would find out if it was them. Even if a follower found them, what would they say? Admit they like it; admit they watch them fuck each other till their words are lost in their throats. It wouldn't be the best thing to admit. And even if one found out, it wasn't like it was a secret. You just had to look up their hidden Instagram to find the link.

Oscar and Lando didn't care as long as they were able to enjoy their luxury lives. Enjoying different countries, wearing the newest clothes and riding their shared McLaren and each other. They weren't going to back out now, not with the chance of lifelong fame.

#lando norris x oscar piastri #landoscar #landoscar imagine #f1 story #f1 imagine #landoscar fanfic #op81 #ln4 #twinklaren #gamer au #f1 au #au #f1 #formula 1 #formula 1 fanfic #lando norris #oscar piastri #oscar piastri imagine #lando norris imagine

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stephaniesblogxx · 10 months ago

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Welcome to my blog angels ˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚

-> read more to get to know me!

౨ৎ i lovee old hollywood starlets especially marilyn monroe!

౨ৎ i adore all kinds of music -> from rock to metal to grunge to jazz and 40s/50s music!

౨ৎ some things i’ll post on this blog are my thoughts, moodboards, starlets, lana del rey!

౨ৎ i also post some girlblogger questions sometimes and little games so ask to me mutuals to be mentioned! <3

౨ৎ some of my hobbies include: crochet, sewing, cooking & baking, reading, playing guitar, writing (poetry, short stories)

౨ৎ i adore fashion! especially 40s-70s

just so you know..!

౨ৎ my dms are always open if you want to chat about stuff i enjoy and things we have in common, but no creepy old men pls!!

౨ৎ ask me anything in my ask box! i love answering them it makes me so happy

౨ৎ i’m a minor so don’t message me if you’re 18+

౨ৎ i’ll be mutuals with anyone!

౨ৎ always be kind on this page or you will be blocked

౨ৎ all my photos on this blog are from pinterest, comment or message me for credits!

౨ৎ please dni:

-> ed/sh blogs

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thanks for reading! lots of love darling

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starhvney · 5 months ago

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𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐉𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝟑 | 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟔: 𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐄

𝐂𝐖: blackmailing? kinda, no yeah blackmailing, gene smokes, allusions to reader being paranoid

𝐀/𝐍: so sorry for the long wait on this next chapter, writers block will kill you. i edited but am posting this at 1 am so if there's any typos pls let me know so i can cry about it thanks

𝐖𝐂: 4,900 +

𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 ☆ 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓 | 𝐀𝐎𝟑 | 𝐅𝐈𝐂 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊𝐒

a week passed, then another, then another. it was now officially well into autumn and you had yet to be confronted by ivy again, or bothered by any other student for that matter.

“an off-season soccer tournament? during school?”

“yeah,” laurance grins, dressed in his soccer uniform and some beat-up sneakers as he walks alongside you and aphmau. “don’t be too sad without me in our classes.”

a playful scoff leaves your lips as you roll your eyes at him, placing a hand over your chest.

“i’m heartbroken, devastated even. however will i survive without you, laurance?”

amused snickers leave his mouth, face scrunching as he covers his face before comically recomposing himself, imitating your dramatic pose.

“i know, please forgive me. i’ll come back for you, my darling!”

“wait, what other schools are coming?” aphmau questions, brushing past both of your bantering. “enough for you to be out the whole school day?”

he nods, fluffing his hair with his fingers and sighing.

“yeah, nahakra high and… o’khasis prep is coming.” he groans under his breath, shoulders dropping as he shakes his head in disappointment. “that game is gonna be a total shi—“

he clears his throat.

“—i mean, it’ll be… a humbling experience. they’re hard to beat anyways, but our team right now is not doing so well.”

aphmau hums thoughtfully. “well, good luck? i wish i could come watch and cheer everyone on.”

laurance suddenly perks up, taking long steps forward and turning around. there’s a pep in his step as he walks backward, grinning at the two of you.

“during free period and athletics i think you’re allowed to come watch if your teacher lets you. you should ask.”

“oh? guess we’ll finally get to see how you became the captain your sophomore year.”

he shrugs, lips curling up smugly as he tilts his head back.

“you’ll be sooo impressed.” he gloats, tone humorous.

“uh-huh…”

his eyes focus back on you, eyes glinting in mischief.

“if you come to watch me, i’m gonna call you out on the field to play on the team.”

“huh?” you raise an eyebrow. “no way, then your team would for sure lose.”

“nah, i bet you’re secretly a pro.”

“i’m not, but aphmau is pretty good.”

the girl looks up, shaking her head. “what? i’m okay at it, but…”

“garroth told me you totally clocked zane in the face when your families went to the park a couple weeks ago.” laurance snickers. “wish i could’ve seen that.”

“rude!” aphmau scolds lightheartedly. “i felt really bad about that!”

“oh, whatever. that little cyclops deserves it.” he rolls his eyes.

“laurance!”

☆

now that you didn’t have ivy breathing down your neck, you felt… really happy going to school. you grew closer with the volleyball team at practice every day, as well as lucinda and a few of the other girls you’d run into in your classes. you ended up seeing that meif’wa girl again too, and the little freshman was sickeningly adorable.

you also met jeffory, and while you felt for poor travis and his one-sided crush on the volleyball captain, you couldn’t blame katelyn for her choice of boyfriend. he had sat with katelyn a few times at lunch, and you’d see him coming in to help with the girls’ after-school practice as you were leaving for the day. you’d yet to find a flaw in him, unless being much too kind-hearted could be a flaw.

speaking of travis, you’d finally met his friend dante that he and aphmau had mentioned a few times. he wasn’t as elusive and mysterious as he had been when he was just a name floating in your brain, and was instead… quite the dork who was trying way too hard to be a ladies man. he was pretty funny, though, so you couldn’t even be mad at his shitty pick up lines and awful attempts at winking.

although, despite all these new friends and feeling like a normal high school kid again, you still felt on edge. like you were only in the calm eye of the storm before getting your feet swept out from under you by the hurricane.

that hurricane really was imminent, and it came to you in the form of the tall senior you crashed into as you rushed to your next class, praying you wouldn’t be any later than you already were. the boy is much taller than you, and his lean muscles and firm frame didn’t provide a very comfortable cushion for you to run into. stumbling back with a surprised noise, you immediately go to apologize before even looking up.

“i’m so—“ you start, stumbling on your words as your eyes land on sharp deep blue. “—um… so sorry.”

unruly black hair hangs over gene’s dark lashes as he looks down at you, eyes narrowing and canines peeking out in a cat-like grin. he looks like he had just caught your little mouse tail underneath his sharp claws, and you know that the hurricane’s winds have now swept you back up in the storm.

his tie is loose, top buttons of his uniform shirt undone, sleeves messily rolled up to his elbows. how has he not gotten dress coded for this? scratch that. maybe he did, and he just doesn’t care.

suddenly he shifts his face from amusement to a rather sarcastic-looking pout, his performance not very convincing with the smug look still shining in his eyes. you’re sure that those upturned, almond-shaped eyes and the dark circles underneath them couldn’t appear innocent even if they tried.

“you know it’s rude to run into people like that, i could’ve gotten hurt.”

you can’t help the unimpressed pinch of your eyebrows at his words, especially as you crane your neck to look up at the boy who nearly knocked you over despite your momentum.

“i didn’t mean to.” your words are more clipped than you mean for them to be, your alarm overpowering the control over your voice.

“running in the halls is against the rules, you know.” he clicks his tongue, shaking his head as you begin to try and walk around him. “but you’d never break the rules, right?”

you pause at the strange inflection in his voice with his last sentence, his words loaded with a different motive. turning around, you see a flash of satisfaction across his face, and you feel like a rabbit just caught in a hunter’s snare. his hand reaches into his pocket, pulling out his phone.

“…what?”

long legs stride forward, his torso hunching over as he leans towards you, facing his screen around for you to see. the picture very clearly shows you on top of ivy, hair wild as you pin her down, fist pummeling into her face.

you remember now, seeing him at the end of the hall as you stood up, curiously staring at you. you didn’t remember seeing a phone in his hand, but that must’ve been why he was there.

“i gotta say, you did an impressive number on her. i swear i thought she fucked up your face a little too, but you came back the next day all badass like nothing happened.”

“what do you want?”

“woah,” he grins, holding his hands up in defense. “no need to get aggressive. i just thought you might need some persuasion. to hang out with me and my friends today.”

“…you’re blackmailing me… to be your friend.”

he snickers, sliding his finger across his phone screen to show more pictures. others clearly show ivy being in the fault. one showing her fingers yanking back on aphmau’s ponytail as you two try to walk away, another of you pulling aphmau behind you defensively, and another of her ripping her nails into your hair and face.

“i don’t know if i’d like to call it blackmailing. after all, i could bend this situation any way i want. really, it just depends on if you’d give me a chance. i promise, i’m really not as bad as i seem.”

at first you say nothing, eyebrows furrowed as you try to catch one of the many thoughts that frantically race around in your brain for a solution.

“i’m sure laurance said otherwise,” gene continues. “but we’re really not awful people. i mean, we’re not great either, but we’re cool. besides, i think you want someone like me on your team in case the mrs.ro’meave-wannabe in this picture here decides to yap about what happened.”

you stare at the screen, heart racing. not only were you at risk, but so was aphmau. had he caught her in the halls today, too?

“just give it a try, this is your choice here. why don’t you have lunch with us outside by the bleachers today so we can get to know each other? i know a secret of yours, so if we become friends i can share a secret of mine with you.”

“are you secretly normal?”

laughter bursts from his mouth, and for a moment he looks so genuinely entertained with your words that the youthfulness in his young age actually shines through his rugged appearance. you’re not sure if you maybe secretly pissed him off or if he strangely liked the attitude you were giving him, so you find yourself standing there awkwardly as he gathers himself.

“no, not really.” he begins to walk away from you while shaking his head, more chuckles leaving his throat as he slides his phone back into his pocket and makes his way down the hall. “see you at lunch.”

“…shit.”

☆

you ended up zoning out for the rest of your morning classes, your head empty despite its screams to try and find a solution to this. garroth and katelyn sent wary glances your way pretty much the whole day, but left it alone when you didn’t tell them for the third time when they asked. as the lunch bell rang, you made the excuse that you weren’t feeling the best, and was gonna see if the nurse would give you some medicine. they shrugged, giving you one last worried look before making their way to your friend group in the cafeteria.

you were pretty sure eating outside was against the school’s rules, so your heart was racing when you made your way to the doors that led to all of the athletic fields. after your stressful searching you soon find the three of them behind the bleachers near the soccer field.

gene and the angry-looking boy lounge on the ground, and the silver haired girl is perched on one of the thick beams holding the bleachers up. their attention is immediately set on you as they hear the ground crunch under your feet, all three eyes turned to where you awkwardly stand.

“there she is.” gene gets up and strides towards you, throwing an arm around your shoulder and guiding you closer to his group.

he smells like cigarettes covered by cologne and… paint? your eyes meet a can of spray paint in the other boy’s hand before trailing up to see an sk symbol freshly graffitied onto one of the thicker pillars.

on school property? guess laurance wasn’t exaggerating about them.

“since laurance so rudely interrupted our introduction to you last time, let’s reintroduce ourselves, yeah? i’m gene hyun,” he gestures to himself, deep voice almost lifting in a teasing way before pointing at his friends. “that’s sasha morozov, and that’s zenix brandt. say hi, everyone.”

“you’re already breaking the rules, i like this new look on you.” sasha speaks up first, lips curling up in a smile that didn’t meet her eyes. “it would be nice to not be the only girl in this group.”

“can’t take the pressure, sasha?” zenix teases with a grin.

“or maybe i just can’t stand your face, zenix.”

“shut up, you love me.”

“i’m not that desperate.”

zenix scoffs. “me neither.”

“will you two quiet down? you’ll scare away our new friend here. hey, we introduced ourselves to you, so now it’s only polite for you to do the same.” gene nudges your shoulder once before letting you go.

you shortly give your name, chest brewing with an uncomfortable fog as you debate just running back inside. either way you risked your reputation, so your feet end up sticking to the ground as you swallow at the dry feeling in your throat.

“you didn’t get anything to eat?” sasha questions, sleepy eyes pointedly looking down at your empty hands.

you look down at them as well, as if you hadn’t very purposefully walked past the cafeteria so no one knew you were off doing something you weren’t supposed to. you turn to glance back towards the school, before looking back to shrug at the girl.

“um… no, i forgot.”

dark silvery eyebrows turn up unimpressed before she plucks an apple off of her tray and tosses it to you. it catches you off guard and you clumsily catch it, fumbling and nearly dropping it down into the gravel.

“…thanks.”

she shrugs, humming a small “mhm” in return.

“…hm. you know, thinking about it, i dunno about that name.” gene suddenly says.

“right? i think we should give her a nickname instead.”

…what? your name wasn’t hard to pronounce in the slightest. before you can protest they’re already discussing the matter, tossing around name ideas they should give you like you were their new pet.

“what about dolly? since she’ll be running our errands for us like a little doll.”

“no, that’s too much. hm… she really did give a good beating on ivy despite being smaller than her, she’s got claws. how about kitty?”

“hm, a cute pet’s name, i like it.” sasha says, leg swinging off the side of where she sat.

“sasha and kitty for sk. i like it.” zenix adds, smile taunting as he looks at you.

your eyebrows pinch together, voice tight in irritation. “my name isn’t hard. i don’t need a nickname.”

gene’s eyebrow raises, challenging as he tilts his head.

“oh? sounds like the voice of someone who’s bold enough to let a picture of her fighting skills spread around.”

you scoff.

“listen. i hate to say it, kitty, but we have the upper hand here. we know it’s a bit devious, but we just want you to join us. you wouldn’t reject people wanting to be your friend, would you? especially ones that are also bad and break the rules.”

“i’m not going to—”

“no? well if that picture starts floating around who do you think will be your friend? us, or those goody two shoes friends you hang out with?”

“it’s none of their business what happened.” you snap, your brain scrambling for responses and too exhausted from the conversation to come up with any.

“then why don’t you say that to one of them?” gene hums in taunting amusement, head tilting as he looks at you through his lashes. “look behind you.”

your heart thuds and drops in your chest as you turn to see laurance, walking up to you in his soccer uniform, eyes narrowing at gene.

“is he bothering you?” he looks to you, brows furrowed.

your mouth drops open, trying to find something to say. his eyes seem to catch onto the draining of the blood from your face, his hand reaching out to grab your arm and pull you closer to his side.

“come on, you don’t need to be hanging out with—”

“no need to get so defensive, laurance. she wants to hang out with us.” gene cuts him off.

laurance freezes, eyes narrowing as he looks between you and the trio. “huh?”

gene stares at you, a toothy grin on his sharp features.

“yeah,” you barely keep your voice steady as everyone focuses on you. “they’re not so bad once you get to know them.”

“…what?” laurance questions again, as if he thought he was hallucinating your words.

“yeah, she’s a real sweet girl. i really think i’m starting to see the error of my ways because of her.” gene takes a few steps closer.

“really?” laurance asks, tone disbelieving.

“yeah! in fact she was just telling us to stop hanging back here and tagging up the place. i’ve never felt more moved.”

sasha and zenix nod along to his words, taking his lead as he looks to them. gene then waltzes right up to you, handing you a crumpled and folded slip of paper.

“here’s my number. text me later, i may need some help on my homework later. why don’t you go with laurance and we’ll catch you later.” he chuckles. “i can really picture our friendship blossoming.”

you give a half-hearted breath of a laugh in return, backing up with laurance.

“okay, later.”

you feel sick.

“are you okay?” laurance asks you once you’re out of earshot, leading you to the benches where the soccer team sits, the area pretty empty at the moment other than a few players practicing on the field.

“huh? oh yeah, i’m good.”

he stares at you, fingers tapping against the other.

“…you sure? you know, those three are really good at acting and putting up a front. i really don’t think—”

“i know! trust me, it’s fine.”

his eyebrows furrow like he wants to say something but changes his mind, glancing back at the empty bleachers you were just behind.

“you know eating outside during lunch is against the rules though, don’t you?”

you hold back a sigh.

“…no, i didn’t know.”

laurance sighs looking at the apple still clutched in your hands. “…is that all you have for lunch?”

“oh, yeah. i forgot to… get some.”

he looks back up at you, before reaching into the soccer team’s snack box and handing you chips and a cheese stick.

“you don’t need to—”

“eat.” he raises a challenging eyebrow when you hesitate, lips curling up in appeasement when you start peeling open the cheese wrapper.

a call of your name falls from his lips, prompting you to look up into concerned eyes.

“be careful.”

☆

as you change in the locker room out of your sweaty athletics uniform, your phone buzzes on the bench.

gene: meet me near the back of the school

you suppress a sigh, keeping your face neutral in front of your group of girl friends beside you.

you: ok

aphmau was able to catch you alone in the hallways at one point, round eyes wide with worry. apparently she had also been confronted by gene, but that guy from her werewolf class had supposedly interrupted their talk, cutting the confrontation short.

you weren’t as lucky, you groaned internally, as you swung open the back doors to the school, finding your way down the stairs and spotting gene by the fence line. he’s changed into casual clothes rather than his school uniform, you note, the dark and grungy clothes a polar difference from the neat school uniform he was forced to wear.

“…what is it?”

“walk with me to my house.”

any anxiety you feel is overridden as you shoot a sharp glare up at him, nose wrinkling in disgust. “no. why would i do that? are you some kind of pervert?”

gene barks out a laugh, head throwing back as he holds up his arms defensively. “woah, put the claws away, kitty! it’s nothing like that. i won’t claim i’m a good guy, but i’m not a total piece of shit either. i need you to meet my mom.”

“…what.”

“i’ll explain on the walk there.” he nods at you to walk along with him, beginning to make his way down the street.

you hesitate, teeth gritting. before you realize it your feet have carried you after him, catching up to the long-legged boy.

“if you try anything i’ll beat the shit out of you. i don’t care if you’re bigger and taller, i’ll find a way.” you threaten, even if you weren’t confident in your own words.

gene seems amused by your threat, something you’ve begun to notice as a trend. “unless you were forced to take taekwondo as a kid i’m afraid you have no chance. i can appreciate your attitude, though. having a backbone looks good on you.”

you release a quiet sigh, glancing over warily at his tall frame, noticing the bit of lean muscle that cling to him. despite being on the thinner side, you knew he was most definitely right.

“what is it you want me to do?”

he hums. “ah, right. so, my mom’s been on my ass lately about hanging out with sasha and zenix too much… saying they’re bad influences.”

he scoffs, hands tucked into the pockets of his black jacket.

“i just need you to pretend like you’re a new friend of mine, helping me out with school and otherwise being a good influence. should be easy enough for you, you don’t need to even act.”

you huff. “why choose me?”

“why not? besides you doing this for me… and the whole picture thing… you seem pretty cool. maybe i just want to be friends.”

you don’t say anything to that, instead sending him a wary glance as he barks out an amused laugh in return.

on the way the two of you make it to a gas station, where gene turns to walk towards its doors rather than continue down the sidewalk, much to your chagrin.

when your footsteps stop from behind him he turns, looking back at you with a sigh.

“listen, i don’t live in a shady part of town necessarily, but at least come inside with me.” he says, his usual teasing cadence gone as he waves you to him.

though he wasn’t implying anything you feel a shiver run up your spine, fingers drifting to zianna’s locket as your eyes drift around at the cars passing by. you spot one, all black, parked near the side of the building.

black rims, black paint, blacked out lights, blacked out windows.

no, it’s nothing.

plenty of people have all black cars.

but…

quickly, you shuffle after gene, listening to the doorbell chime as you rush into the door after him.

he gives you a questioning look. the one time he wasn’t really trying to tease or scare you and you looked the most scared. he doesn’t question it though, instead telling you to look around while he buys what he needs.

you sigh, walking down the store aisles, eyes drifting to the different candies. turning to go to the next aisle you nearly bump into a taller man. he looked average. tanned skin and brown hair… but when you look into his eyes…

there’s a certain emptiness to the shade of brown you look into. something cruel and unforgiving—something you didn’t even see in gene’s. despite their warm color, they lacked any sense of care. it sends a cold chill starting from your cheeks and down your back, like someone had dumped ice water over your head.

“excuse me.” you mutter, shuffling past him and quickly putting yourself right next to where gene stood.

he glances at you from the corner of his eye, turning to see the man in the aisle. it’s a few seconds where he doesn’t say anything, face cold and unexpressive as he stares down the man until he leaves the store empty-handed.

the cashier, a rather unimpressed looking woman in her mid twenties glances over to you, raising a thinly plucked eyebrow.

“this your new girlfriend or something?” she glances down at your uniform, lip curling as she stares judgmentally back at gene. “...she looks a little young.”

“what? no, don’t be ridiculous,” gene scoffs. “just my little brothers friend. she’s coming home to study with him, so i’m walking her.”

the cashier deadpans at him. “yeah, okay. if you’re buying these for that lil’ girl i can’t sell em to you.”

“does it look like i’m buying these for her?” he gestures to you with one of his hands, giving an exasperated look to the cashier. “i mean she looks like she makes all a’s and never gets in trouble. c’mon.”

your eyebrows furrow. sell what to him?

the cashier looks you up and down for a moment before sighing, reaching down to the cabinets below her and pulling out a red cigarette case. your eyes widen and you look to gene, who only scoldingly stares you down from the corner of his eye.

“don’t say a thing and act natural.” is what you read from the dark blue irises challenging you to say something before he slides the money over the counter.

the cashier checks him out, narrowing her hooded green eyes at you once more with a concerned glint to them before humming. “you’re good to go. see you later.”

“thanks, donna.” gene casually replies, shoving the cigs in his pocket and ushering you out of the store.

you two walk in silence for a moment, making it a ways down the street before he reaches into the back of his jean pockets, pulling out one of the cigarettes and an old lighter. he lights one, huffing out the smoke and glancing down at you.

“want one?”

you shake your head. he shrugs, stepping around you to walk on your other side when he sees you blink rapidly from the smoke blowing in your eyes.

“more for me.” he smirks, taking another deep inhale and looking away, slowly letting out his next breath.

“…how did you even buy those?” you ask, frowning as he flicks ash onto the concrete.

he reaches into his pocket, pulling out his wallet and sliding out not his normal id, but instead another version that was flipped horizontally, the “under 21” warning nowhere to be seen.

“fake id.” he shrugs. “been using it since last year.”

it’s about ten more minutes before the roll of nicotine meets the end of its life. gene stops, crouching down for a second to snuff it out, before carelessly flicking it out onto the street.

“littering?” you narrow your eyes.

“what? it’ll decompose.”

“no, it won’t. not for a long time.”

“whatever.”

“littering is really lame.”

gene scoffs, rolling his eyes. “c’mon, kitty. loosen up. the world will keep spinning to see another day.”

you huff, running back to scoop up the discarded cigarette, still warm from both its flame and staying snugly between gene’s fingers. he stops to look at you, eyebrows raised and pinched, the corner of his mouth turned down in confused amusement. you walk back to him, flipping up the top of the box that still hung out of his jeans and shoving the cigarette down into the empty spot.

he raises a brow before his head tilts back in silent laughter, eyes closed.

“okay, fine, miss goody two shoes.” he laughs, before turning onto the pathway up to a dull blue house. “remember, just act like you’re a new friend of mine helping me out with my grades.”

he pulls out a key chain, unlocking the door and waving you inside. “hey mom, i have someone i want you to meet.”

the inside of the house… is not the environment that you’d expect for a guy like gene to live in. it was perfectly clean, the furniture neat and the fresh scent of lemons and lavender clinging to the air.

an older woman with a taller stature than you and lighter gray-blue hair appears from the hallway, face stern as she looks at her son.

“a new friend? if they’re anything like—” she stops her train of thought when her eyes land on you, face changing to a friendlier expression. “oh, hello sweetie. you’re… gene’s friend?”

gene huffs. “don’t sound too surprised.”

you control your breathing, already feeling guilty pulling in your chest as you prepare yourself to lie to this woman. you raise your hand to shake hers with a small smile, nodding along.

“yes ma’am. it’s nice to meet you.”

“it’s nice to meet you too! i’m maria.” her face is brightened as she grabs onto your hand, shaking it back. “oh, gene, honey. i’m surprised such a proper-looking and lovely girl wants to talk to you! she’s adorable.”

“what?” he sighs, looking much less intimidating than usual as he watches his tongue in front of his mother. “…anyways, mom, she’s been helping me with school. she makes amazing grades and never gets in trouble… right…?”

you nod.

“wow, i can’t believe you made friends outside of that little club of yours—”

“—it’s a gang—”

“—i’m so proud. do you need a ride home, sweetie? gene and i were just going to leave for dance lessons.”

“oh, that’s okay. i can walk.”

maria shakes her head. “oh, but a girl like you shouldn’t walk alone on the streets, especially with the traffic right now. we’re not necessarily in a dangerous part of town, but still.”

you freeze, before nodding. “if you don’t mind, that would be nice.”

“of course not! gene lets go.” she nods, pulling her keys out of the purse on her shoulder and walking out the front door.

you two stand there for a moment before you turn to gene with a raised eyebrow, a smirk fighting to break out on your face.

“…dance lessons?”

his nose crinkles before he bends his torso, the scent of cigarettes still fresh on his breath as he slits his eyes at you.

“don’t you dare utter a word of that to anyone, or everyone in the school will know about that picture.” he whispers, before straightening himself and pacing forward towards the door. “c’mon, sweetie, time to go home.”

©starhvney, 2024. please do not steal or repost my works as your own.

#aphmau mystreet #mystreet x reader #mystreet #aphmau #x reader #phoenix drop high #aphmau pdh #pdh #reader insert #fem reader

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helloalycia · 10 months ago

Text

𝐍𝐎 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃𝐁𝐘𝐄𝐒 [𝐎𝐍𝐄] — 𝐊𝐀𝐓𝐍𝐈𝐒𝐒 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐃𝐄𝐄𝐍

summary: when Katniss gets sick and doesn't show any signs of getting better, you fear the worst and have to do whatever you can to make sure she does.

warning/s: mentions of dying + usual warnings that come with writing for the hunger games.

author's note: thanks to everyone who voted on my first lil poll yesterday haha, here’s the katniss one that won! there’s 2 parts and it was written after i just reread all the hunger games books and became hyperfixated on katniss again lmao

i’ll post the jackie taylor yellowjackets one after this for anyone who voted that too :)

two / masterlist / wattpad

I tightened the woolly scarf around my neck, hoping it would do something to keep the cold, bitter air out despite its flimsiness. Winter in District 12 could be unforgiving, but by the look of things from the front window, it hadn't snowed anymore last night.

"I'm leaving, mum!" I called from the front door, grabbing my school bag.

"Have a nice day, hon!" she called back from the kitchen.

When I left my house, the first thing I stepped foot in was grey slush, and I wasn't sure if that was worse than a blizzard at this point. Nonetheless, I sucked it up and headed over to my best friend Katniss' house, not far from my own in the poor, ragged part of the district, the Seam.

We always met at her place before school since it was on the way and we could walk in together, but when I arrived, her little sister, Primrose, answered and looked worried.

"Hey, darling, what's up?" I asked, accepting the hug she gave me as I stepped inside.

"It's Katniss," she muttered. "She won't get out of bed."

Trying not to show my concern, I said, "I'll go check on her. You finish getting ready so we're not late, yeah?"

She nodded and I watched her go into the kitchen to finish her breakfast with her mum, the older woman offering a small smile when she saw me. I returned it before letting myself into the other room of their house, the bedroom that all three of them shared. Inside, Katniss was still in her bed, under the covers and blocking out the light. Whether she was awake, I wasn't sure, but this was certainly unlike her.

"Katniss?" I called, shaking her body slightly. "We're gonna be late, you've gotta get up."

She groaned slightly, not appreciating my interruption, and then seemed to realise what was happening as she rolled over, eyes squinted with confusion.

"Huh? What are you doing?" she mumbled, rubbing her face, and her voice was raspier than usual.

"It's time for school," I said knowingly, before frowning when I saw her cover her eyes with her hand. "Why are you still in bed? Prim has been trying to wake you."

"What...? I don't..." She stopped, before attempting to sit upright, but she squeezed her eyes shut and steadied herself on the bed.

"Hey," I said, much more concerned now, taking a seat on the edge of her bed. "You're not okay. Is it your head?"

She clutched her forehead, breathing out slowly. "I don't know. It hurts, it– god, it's bright in here."

I frowned, taking in her pained expression and connecting all the dots. "You're sick. You should stay home today. Get better."

As if I'd accused her of murder, Katniss shook her head and pulled the duvet off her with determination. "I'm not. I'm fine, I–" But just on cue, a throaty cough rattled her.

"I can stay home if you want," I offered, already pulling the duvet back on her. "Help you."

The last thing I wanted was to leave her alone whilst she was ill. Technically her mother would be here, but she wasn't the most attentive since she'd lost her husband, so it was essentially like leaving Katniss alone.

"No, you don't need to," Katniss gave in with a sigh.

"I don't mind," I offered, resting a hand on hers. "I can–"

"It's one day," she assured me, before clearing her throat. "I'll be okay. Go. Please. Or you'll be late."

I sighed disapprovingly before nodding, knowing one day of rest would hopefully prove to be useful. I leaned forward to hug her, about to wish her well, but she shoved me back quickly.

"Don't or you'll get sick," she argued tiredly, making me rub my chest where she shoved me.

"Ow," I said with annoyance, before rolling my eyes and standing up. "Very well. Lay down at least."

Thankfully, she obeyed which was how I knew she must've really felt rundown. Pulling the duvet to her shoulders, I tucked her in before wishing her well and leaving the room. After letting her mum know what was wrong and to keep an eye on her, Prim and I left the house together.

"She's okay, right?" the twelve-year-old asked me as we trudged through the muddy snow.

"Oh yeah, of course," I reassured her with a smile. "It's nothing. Just that time of year."

This seemed to work, as Prim sighed with relief before smiling too. But deep down, a small part of me was a little worried. Firstly, Katniss never got sick, ever. And secondly, whereas a cold might not take some people out, it could be the difference between life and death in a place where it was freezing and had no electricity. I only hoped she'd be able to sleep it off and recover soon.

All day I was thinking of Katniss, unable to focus much at school. When the final bell rang and we were finally let out, I was relieved, only wanting to check on her and hopefully see some improvement. Our friend, Gale, accompanied Prim and I back home, since he lived in the Seam also, and we all went to the Everdeens to see if Katniss was okay.

When we reached their house, we saw Mrs Everdeen helping someone out as part of her job as a healer, so decided not to interrupt and instead headed straight for Katniss. When we walked in, Prim ran to her bedside whilst Gale and I took in the scene. Katniss was still under her covers, as if she'd not moved all day.

"Hey, Catnip," Gale said, hoping to lighten the mood and stir her awake, if she was even asleep.

An annoyed moan was the only response we got, so I settled by her bedside and pulled the duvet down carefully, revealing her face. Her eyes were closed, scrunched with discomfort, but she was sweating. I felt her forehead, surprised at how hot she was, and my worry was increasing.

"How is she?" Prim asked from behind me.

I cleared my throat, pulling my hand back. "Er, warm. But it could be nothing."

Clearly I wasn't the best liar, since she pushed me out the way and felt her sister's forehead before frowning immediately.

"That's not nothing," she exclaimed, before going for the door. "I'm getting mum."

I sighed, but knew it was for the best. When her and her mum returned, the four of us attempted to coax Katniss awake properly. She was reluctant, but finally opened her eyes when I closed the curtains, blocking out the light that was bothering her.

"You're burning, Katniss," I told her gently, taking her hand. Her mum rested a cold cloth on her forehead, moving her hair from her face, and I looked back to her tired eyes. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm just tired," she said dismissively, yawning. "A little cold."

I exchanged nervous glances with Gale, who was as concerned for her as I was.

"You need to listen to your mum and sister," I told her. "They're gonna help you feel better, okay?"

"I'm fine, I just need to rest," she tried to assure me, but she wasn't very convincing.

"Katniss, please," I said quietly, and she looked to me with dark eyes, softening. "Just listen to them."

She nodded, giving in, and I offered her a small smile before looking to her mum for the next step.

"You should both go home," she said to Gale and I. "You can visit tomorrow."

I nodded, not keen to leave Katniss' side but knowing the best care she could be in was her family's. Gale and I said our goodbyes before walking home.

It was supposed to get better after that, Katniss was supposed to get better. But none of it did. She was still bedridden when I visited her after school the next day, though a little more awake than yesterday and itching to get up and leave.

"My legs work fine," she told me with frustration. "Why can't I just get up and push on?"

"Because you're weak, idiot," I told her, giving her a disapproving look. "You've still got a fever, too."

She frowned petulantly, staring off at the wall instead of me. I sighed, resting a hand on hers, and thankfully she didn't pull away.

"Your mum is taking good care of you," I reminded her. "You're gonna be okay, but you need to rest."

"You shouldn't visit me meanwhile," she said after a moment, finally looking at me. "What if I'm contagious?"

I tried not to smile, the thought of not visiting her sounding insane. "I'll live, Katniss."

She exhaled weakly, not bothering to argue. I swallowed hard, taking in her expression. Circles were becoming deeper under her eyes, showing her struggle to sleep properly, and she was still glistening in a thin layer of sweat. Even now, her hand was hot beneath mine, and it terrified me. But I tried not to think of the worst, instead manifesting positive thoughts the best I could.

Enough positivity to make Katniss puke, that was the goal.

Unfortunately, it only got worse from there on out. It was getting colder the deeper we got into winter, which wasn't helping, and Katniss was missing more and more days off school. And then we finally finished school for the year, and Katniss was still unwell.

Unlike that second visit, she wasn't fighting her weakness anymore, unable to play it tough when her migraines were ruining her. Her fever would break, then return, then break again. I didn't understand what was wrong and I'd never been so scared in my life. Gale and her family felt the same, but her mum was surprisingly consistent with her care, doing everything she could to make her daughter better.

But we all knew what nobody would admit – Katniss needed real medicine, none of this herbal stuff.

One day, I was visiting Katniss, going over more and more now that school was done, but she wasn't always awake when I visited. Thankfully she was today, and when I walked in, her head turned to the door to see who it was. When she saw it was me, she shook her head, unimpressed.

"You shouldn't be here," she said as she always did, and I rolled my eyes playfully.

Ignoring her, I took a seat at the edge of her bed, aware of her eyes following my every move.

"Prim," she began, but I answered before she needed to finish.

"She's at Gale's," I reassured her, making her sigh with relief.

Having Prim seeing her like this always worried her, but I was making sure that the younger Everdeen wasn't always around. Of course, she was stubborn like her sister and sometimes insisted. Today though, she was content spending the day with Gale's siblings.

I looked down at Katniss, noticing how much weight she'd lost these past few weeks. She was already skinny, a consequence of living in District 12, but this was sickly, haunting. I'd never seen her so rundown before and I was seriously terrified that if we didn't get her real medicine soon, she could die. Nobody had a cold or flu or whatever it was for this damn long. She was struggling to eat properly, to stand at all, and she looked like hell. I couldn't just watch her deteriorate like this. Not my best friend. Not the girl I cared way too much for.

"Stop it," she said, an accidental whisper. "Stop looking at me like that."

"I'm not doing anything," I defended, embarrassed I'd been caught.

She knew me too well though. "I'll be okay. In fact–" She paused, and then suddenly attempted to sit upright, but her arms were too weak to hold her up and she slipped right back down. The tears were quick to pool in her eyes, a matching scowl on her face, at her incompetence.

"It's okay," I said sympathetically, taking her hand in between mine.

She squeezed it tight, like a lifeline, but avoided my eyes. A tear slipped from hers, and I pretended not to see it for her sake.

"I need to hunt," she said with a hoarse voice, no doubt holding in her emotion.

"Gale has it under control," I said, only imagining all she'd been worrying herself with whilst stuck here. She was the sole provider for her family, and with her out of action, the responsibilities were piling up.

"He has his own family to worry about," she snapped, before catching herself, instantly feeling bad. Quieter, she said, "It's not enough."

She wasn't wrong, of course, but I would never let her know that. Gale barely found enough to feed his own family, especially during winter, and he was sparing what little he could to keep Prim and her mum afloat. I did the same with what scraps I got, but I was no hunter and couldn't offer extra game like he could.

"We're sorting it," I said confidently. "Your mum and Prim are okay, aren't they?"

She finally met my eyes, hers glassy and exhausted. "For how long?"

It was much harder to lie to her when she was looking right at me, so I cleared my throat and forced a small smile. "All the more reason to get better, right?"

She pursed her lips, looking away again. It was quiet as she laid there, me holding her hand and keeping her company. I knew how horrible it could be when you were sick and alone, so I made sure not leave her side, as her eyes began to flicker close, struggling to fight the tiredness. I moved closer, pushing the hair from her eyes and raking my hands through her roots, knowing she liked the feeling but would never admit it. I was proven right when she let out a deep breath, squeezing my hand in approval, and I smiled softly at how cute she could be when she didn't even know it.

Only when she was out of it did I feel my tears blur my vision, unable to pretend that I was okay. She wasn't looking any better, and I couldn't just watch her like this, unable to do a thing.

I leaned forward, kissing her forehead, and closed my eyes briefly, praying to whatever God was out there that she'd be okay.

Everyone had their special something, a skill they had perfected or a hobby they could get lost in. Mine? I hadn't discovered it yet. I suppose I was doing pretty well in school, so taking tests could count, though it was a shit skill to have, impractical. But hunting, that was Katniss' and Gale's thing. No, definitely not mine.

They'd taken me out once, letting me join them on their weekly escapade. Gale found it hilarious that I moved too loudly, scaring away the prey, or that I stepped in my own trap, getting my foot stuck in the rope. I let him enjoy himself at my expense, knowing it was inevitable. Katniss however, despite the small smile that would ghost her lips at something stupid I'd do, was adamant on helping me. She took it too seriously, showing me how to use her prized bow and how to sneak around better. I'd like to say it worked, that I learnt something, but it didn't. It was safe to say they never took me again.

So, when I found myself in the forbidden woods outside the District 12 fence, with Katniss' bow in hand, I felt like a foreigner. I wasn't familiar with these woods, especially not in winter when it was a completely different ballgame to what I'd 'practiced' in last summer. Katniss' bow was too big for me, and no matter how hard I tried to take her familiar hunting routes, my approach always scared away the prey.

I was out there for two hours, certain my fingers would fall off from the cold, but I refused to give up. I couldn't return empty handed. Gale hadn't been successful last week, and family responsibilities had kept him from hunting today like he usually did. So, I took it upon myself to do it, especially because Prim was so hungry, her little face shrinking the longer Katniss was bedridden. I couldn't let her down, any of them, so I pushed on.

But every arrow I let fly missed its target, and every squirrel I approached scampered off. The sun, hidden behind thick clouds, was setting and it was getting dark out, even though the afternoon was barely over. I had to go home, but I had nothing to show for it. I couldn't even pick any edible plants because everything was frozen. I was a failure.

I couldn't catch a thing; the one job I had, to keep Prim fed, was failing; Katniss was dying and I couldn't do a thing to change any of it.

Tears streamed down my face, hot against the cold of my cheeks, and I collapsed in the snow, unbothered by it melting into the cotton of my trousers. It didn't matter anymore.

She wasn't getting better. Every day I visited her, she looked worse for wear. If it wasn't her fevers, it was her migraines. And if it wasn't her migraines, it was her throat. I was losing her day by day and I felt powerless. I couldn't even shoot a fucking squirrel to help. Nothing was working.

I was going to lose her.

Admittedly, I wallowed in self-pity for a little longer, appreciating having somewhere private to let it all out. It was hard playing it positive and tough all the time, for Prim's and Katniss' sake, when the truth was I was scared shitless. Living in a world without my best friend, the girl I so deeply loved to the point that she'd laugh if she ever found out, was terrifying. I didn't even want to envision it.

It was dark by the time I returned to the Everdeens home. I would have much preferred to go straight home, but I couldn't not update them on my false promise.

"Y/N!" Prim exclaimed when she opened the door, before tugging me in instantly.

"Hey," I said, forcing a smile, and I was glad the redness from the cold disguised my red eyes from crying.

"You're freezing," she realised, before calling for her mum. "You were gone for ages! Come, sit in front of the fire."

I pulled back as she attempted to drag me to the fire, and then her mum appeared and noticed the same thing Prim did.

"Y/N, you need to warm up–"

"I will, at my house," I promised her. "I just came to tell you that I– that–" I paused, afraid of the shakiness of my voice. Swallowing thickly, I said, "I'm sorry. I couldn't– I'm not–"

Fuck, why was this so hard?

"I'm gonna figure it out," I changed my words, nodding confidently. "I'll get some food. I'm sorry. I–"

Prim suddenly hugged me, arms wrapping around my torso and squeezing so tightly that I could have snapped in half from how frozen I was. But I appreciated it nonetheless and returned the gesture, letting out a shaky breath.

"Don't do it again," her mum said gently, resting a hand on my cheek before hugging me too.

I blinked back my tears as I let myself relax in their comfort.

I couldn't just stand by and do nothing anymore, and there was only one thing that I knew I could do. None of us could ever afford the medicine Katniss needed from the doctor in town, unless we traded something valuable, like food.

If I used my tesserae, adding my name another time into the potential tributes for District 12, I would receive a year's supply of oil and grain. Participants could only apply once for themselves, and once for any of their family members if they were between the ages of 12 and 18. I'd used mine for this year, but I could still use it on behalf of my parents. They never wanted me to, but this was an emergency and they didn't need to know.

So, on behalf of them, I used my tesserae and traded that two years' supply of oil and grain with the doctor in exchange for the medicine that would make Katniss better. After describing all her symptoms, he explained how it was some complex form of a cold, rare but deadly. I was lucky I'd got to him in time.

Gale didn't approve of my plan when I told him, trying to talk me out of it. Just like Katniss, he cared about whether I used my tesserae without needing to. I could see it was killing him to watch me do it anyway, wanting to do it himself if he could, but he'd already used all his family's tesserae for the year. It was the first thing he did every time it was available, having no choice since he had a big family.

After I collected the medicine from the doctor, I was quick to return to Katniss' house, giving a rushed explanation to her mum about the medicine and what the doctor said about administering it and how it would save her life.

"Y/N, how did you get this?" she asked once I finished to catch my breath.

"It doesn't matter," I said to her. "But it'll help. We can give her the first dose now."

"Y/N–”

"Mrs Everdeen, please," I pleaded, and she must have seen the desperation in my expression because she nodded slowly and went to make Katniss some tea with the medicine in it. It was a syrup of some sort, so the mint tea should have made it a bit more palatable.

Eventually we both went to Katniss' room, where Prim was sat beside her, holding her hand and chatting quietly. When she spotted us both, she perked up and smiled a little.

"Hey, Prim," I said, returning her smile and joining her side. "How's the patient?"

"She's got a headache," Prim answered, and I looked to Katniss who had a wet towel pressed to her eyes, both cooling her down and also blocking out the light.

"Y/N?" Katniss whispered, though unmoving.

"Yours truly," I said playfully, needing to disguise the permanent concern that was in my voice. "We brought you some tea, Katniss."

She groaned quietly. "I don't want it."

Her mum glanced at me, unsure how to proceed, so I took the mug from her hand and placed it on the bedside table.

"It'll help," I promised her, before gently pulling her duvet down. "Can you sit up for me, please?"

She sighed but thankfully obeyed, allowing me to help her sit upright. She leaned against the bed frame and let me remove the towel from her eyes. I smiled when I saw her blue eyes, though they were fatigued as they had been since she'd gotten sick. Not for long, hopefully.

"Drink up," I encouraged, offering her the mug.

She silently accepted it, blowing on the tea before taking the first sip. Her face scrunched up with disgust. "What is that?"

"New herbal remedy," her mum answered before I could struggle to.

Katniss wasn't impressed, but managed to drink the whole thing, probably because she knew I'd let her go to sleep if she did. After laying back down, I pulled the duvet back over her and pushed her hair behind her ear, smiling reassuringly.

"You should feel better with that," I told her with certainty.

She didn't reply, eyes avoiding mine, something I'd noticed she'd been doing for a while now. It was like she knew she wasn't getting better and was scared to admit the truth, but this was different. This would finally work.

Prim and I stayed by her side until she fell asleep, and that was when I told her about the medicine. The pure joy and relief on her face was enough to let me know I'd made the right decision, and she hugged me so tightly that I almost lost my breath.

"I told you she'd be okay," I said with a small smile, accepting her hug. "And so will you."

"Thank you," she muttered into my shoulder.

I squeezed her gently before we stayed there, sat side by side. She didn't want to leave Katniss' side, and neither did I, but it was getting late and, at some point, Prim had dozed off on my shoulder. Only after I had tucked her into her mum's bed did Mrs Everdeen politely kick me out, forcing me to get some rest of my own at home. For once, I didn't argue it, my exhaustion catching up to me. Plus, I could sleep well knowing Katniss would already be doing a lot better tonight.

As soon as I woke up and remembered the medicine the next morning, I headed straight to the Everdeens place, hoping to see some sort of improvement with Katniss. So you can imagine my surprise when I walked into her room and saw her sat upright in bed, eating an actual breakfast on a tray.

"Katniss!" I said with disbelief, before rushing to hug her. "You're eating!"

She returned my hug and I pulled up a chair beside her bed, studying her curiously. She'd looked like she'd had a better sleep than she usually did, and she was actually holding up her own weight which was an achievement in itself. The medication was working!

The sight of her looking a lot healthier and actually improving from her poor condition brought tears to my eyes, but I willed them away. She'd hate to see me crying over her, but I genuinely couldn't believe it.

"I'm not stupid," she said with a raspy voice, eyes narrowed my way.

I furrowed my brows. "What?"

She frowned. "You think I don't know that you gave me actual medicine last night? There's no other explanation for why I'm feeling better. And I know it's not because of a damn herbal remedy. I was doomed, Y/N. So, what the hell did you do?"

"So you do feel better?"

"Y/N!"

I sighed as she raised her voice. "Okay, look, I'm sorry for lying to you, but you wouldn't have taken it if I'd told you."

"Damn right I wouldn't have!" she snapped, glaring at me. "We can't afford that! Which brings me to my next question. How the hell did you get it?"

I shook my head, looking down at her breakfast tray. "It's not your concern."

"Y/N, I swear to God I'll–"

"What?" I cut her off, meeting her hard stare with my own. "You'll what?"

Her eyes flickered between mine before softening. "Y/N. Please."

I could have given in so easily, just from a simple glance, but I refused to let her bait me. I ignored her instead, shaking my head and returning my gaze to her breakfast tray.

"You traded something," she guessed, back to her irritated self. When I didn't answer, she said, "What? What did you trade?"

Again, I said nothing, neither confirming nor denying, but she wasn't having it.

"Goddamn it, Y/N!" she shouted, but her voice was still weak so it was more of a broken yell. "You can't just sit there in silence whilst I–"

"Stop it!" I raised my voice too, glaring at her.

"What the hell were you thinking?!"

I frowned, eyes pooling with tears. "I was thinking that I couldn't just sit here and watch and not do anything! I was thinking that I was terrified that you would die! That you were getting worse and worse every day, and that I would lose you, Katniss!"

Her eyes were glassy as they met mine. "How many times?"

I scoffed, looking away. "Katniss, not now."

I expected her to yell again, but she said in a quiet voice, "Please. How many times is your name in there?"

I clenched my jaw, crossing my arms over my chest stubbornly. But when I glanced at her, she was watching me like a little girl who'd just lost her puppy, and I couldn't not respond.

"Not a lot," I tried to sugar coat it. "Only twelve times." At this, she released a sharp breath. "I traded two years of food with the doctor. It was enough to get the medicine."

She pushed the tray off her lap before pulling her knees to her chest, hiding her face between them. She was shaking her head and I knew she was crying, the sniffling giving it away. Feeling insanely bad, I sat on the bed beside her and pulled her in for a side hug the best I could.

"It's okay," I told her, rubbing her arm. "I chose to do it, Katniss. And I'd do it again, over and over, if it means you'll be okay."

She shook her head. "You shouldn't have," she said with a muffled voice, her head still tucked between her legs.

"You shouldn't have got sick," I tried to joke, but she only looked up at me with red eyes and quivering lips. I lost my smile, admitting, "I wasn't going to lose you. You don't get it."

I love you, I wanted to add, but I couldn't.

"Neither do you," she mumbled, before shoving me off her childishly.

I didn't get to question her because she pulled the tray back onto her lap and tried to finish off the remainder of stale bread in her plate. I returned to my seat next to her bed, watching as she sulked, ate and gave me the temporary silent treatment. I didn't care too much, as long as she was eating.

Once she finished, I took the tray and put it to the side momentarily, flashing her a supportive smile.

"You finished every last bit," I pointed out. "I'm proud of you."

She rolled her eyes, but that only made me smile more because it meant she had the effort to be annoyed at me, which was something she hadn't had for a while now.

"Did you have your morning dose of medicine?" I asked reluctantly, but needing to know.

She nodded, crossing her arms. "My mum gave it me earlier."

I relaxed. "Good."

Before I could say anything else, the door to the bedroom opened and Prim ran in, a bright smile on her face. Despite Katniss' annoyance with me, she couldn't resist returning her sister's smile, accepting her onto the bed and hugging her.

"You already look so much better," Prim was saying with amazement. "I was so scared."

"Well, there's no need to be," Katniss reassured her. "You didn't struggle too much without me, right?"

Prim shook her head. "Gale and Y/N have been helping. Y/N wouldn't leave. Mum had to kick her out a lot."

I facepalmed, feeling my cheeks heat up with embarrassment. It only deepened when Katniss glanced my way with an unreadable expression.

"Yeah, she has a tendency to not listen," she said, making me roll my eyes.

"She saved you," Prim said to her.

Katniss licked her lips. "I know."

I felt awkward, definitely not wanting the credit, I just wanted her to be okay. But then Prim changed the subject, catching Katniss up on all she'd missed, so I was able to sit back and witness it all, chiming in whenever Prim needed.

For once, Katniss was able to listen and actually hold a conversation. It was heartwarming to see, and if this was what she was like after one dose, I couldn't wait until she'd had the full thing.

#katniss everdeen #katniss everdeen x reader #katniss everdeen imagine #the hunger games imagine #the hunger games #jennifer lawrence #katniss everdeen x you

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frost-queen · 1 year ago

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When hiding crosses bridges (Child!Reader & House of the dragon)

Requested by: anon, Forever tag:@missmelodramatic, @merlin-dahlia, @alex--awesome--22 @elllie-does-the-posts, @floatlosers, @merlieve, @queen-of-books, @glimmering-darling-dolly@denkisclown, @wildieflower, @meyocoko, @bubblybrianna, @justanothercoco@subjecta13-thefangirl, @m-rae23, @harleyquinnswifeyfrfr, @swampthing07, @melsunshine

Summary: You are playing hide and seek with your father, mother and brothers Luke and Jace when you wander into the greens side by chance. Once joined by your cousins and Queen Alicent, there is a cute fluffy moment where Aegon is a bit hesitant to join in, but eventually does. < part 2 >

Daemon turned round, moving his arm up over his eyes. – “One.” – he started counting making you laugh. – “Two… three…” – he continued. Rhaenyra and Jace already taking a run for it. You kept laughing, bouncing in excitement. Daemon chuckled underneath his breath. – “Y/n my darling, I can still hear you.” – he said without looking once. – “Y/n!” – Luke called out, running over to you. He took you by the hand, pulling you gently with him. – “Come little sister, we must hide.” – he told you.

“What about father?” – you asked curiously, pointing back at him while your brother pulled you away. Luke briefly looked up to the ceiling, wondering how you still weren’t getting the rules of this game. – “Father is the one who needs to be looking for us Y/n.” – he explained. You nodded following your brother round the corner. – “So I have to hide from father?” – you asked him to be certain. Luke hummed loud, quickening his pace.

He took another turn and another. He sighed relieved seeing a good place to hide. He hastened over to it, ready to grab the curtain when his hold got blocked. By his side Jace. – “What are you doing?” – Jace shout-whispered to keep his voice low. – “I’m hiding, what are you doing?” – Luke questioned pulling hard on the curtain. – “I saw it first! It is my hiding spot.” – he insisted on, pulling the curtain more towards him.

“No I saw it first!” – Luke insisted on, giving his brother a hard nudge. Jace clenched his jaw, nudging his brother back. – “Au!” – Luke said, giving his brother a good glare. – “Go hide somewhere else!” – Jace pressured on with a firm glare. – “No!” – Luke held his foot down. – “I’m the oldest!” – Jace made clear, sure to keep his voice down but powerful enough. Luke scoffed. – “That is no excuse.” – he replied giving him a slight push.

You watched the entire bickering, waiting patiently. You softly started humming a tune, wobbling on your feet. It made your brother end their bickering to look over their shoulders to you. – “You are supposed to be hiding Y/n.” – Jace spoke turning more towards you. – “I am…” – you responded sweetly. – “I’m going to hide with Luke.” – you added. Luke sighed loud, moving away from the corner. He knelt down to your height, taking you by the arm.

“You can’t hide with me Y/n.” – he said. – “Why not?” – you asked tilting your head a bit. Jace came joining in, kneeling beside his brother. – “You have to find a hiding place for your own.” – he held you by your other hand, making his words clear with his eyes. – “Oh…” – you replied saddened, looking down. – “That is the game Y/n.” – Jace said getting back up. Luke exhaled deep, getting up as well.

From around a corner came your mother out of breath. – “What are you all standing here, your father is coming!” – she warned panicky. Luke and Jace’s eyes widened ushering them to move. They almost bumped against each other in the rush to hide. Rhaenyra lifted the hem of her dress up, taking a further run for it. You turned round, leaving. Jace grabbed Luke by his arm to move him out of his way. It was then that he looked worriedly down.

“Where is Y/n?” – he said aloud. Luke looked down for himself, eyes widening. – “Hiding I hope.” – he answered, slowly feeling a bit guilty of telling you off. Jace came to a realization, grabbing his brother by the shoulders. – “What if she gets lost in this big castle?” – he said worriedly. Luke swallowed ashamed. What if you did? You were but a child. It would be easy for you to get lost.

Both of them were overcome with worry and shame. Maybe they should’ve gone in hiding with you. Hearing their father’s voice in the background, made them panic. Jace pushed Luke aside, taking a run for it. Luke running in the opposite direction in the hopes of being able to find a hiding place before his father finds him.

You were running as fast as your little legs could carry you. Jace had said you needed to hide by yourself, so that is what you were going to do. Find a hiding spot so father wouldn’t be able to find you. Some ladies shrieked when you rushed past them. Soldiers darted away when you came chasing down the corridors. – “Princess!” – one of the guards called out in an attempt to slow you down. You ignored them, keeping your pace up.

You were hardly looking for a hiding spot as you just kept running. The game not entirely clear. You noticed a sudden change in guards. Their uniforms different then the one’s you were known to. Not really stopping to wonder why, you kept going. Laughing mischievous that you were hiding away from father. Would he have already found someone? Your mother? Brothers perhaps?

“Hey what are you doing here?” – you suddenly heard making you come to a stop. You felt scared when the guard came nearer, hands ready as if he was about to catch you. – “You’re not supposed to be here.” – he said. You panicked, screaming loud as you escaped under his arms just as he was about to grab at you. – “Hey! Come back here!” – he shouted turning around to go after you.

Calling it out, you hurried not wanting to be caught. The guard scared you. He called in a few fellow guards to join him on the chase. – “Stand still!” – one of them ordered. – “Get back here!” – another one warned you. Covering up your ears, you screamed loud in a panic. Heart thumping loudly against your chest. You nearly tripped as the storm of guards came closer.

Tears swelled up as they rolled down your cheeks. How much you wanted to be in hiding with any of your brothers now. Sniffing loud, your breath shuddered. There seemed to be no escaping them as you rushed into a room. Just any room. You had opened the door and busted inside, not caring what kind of room it was. Out of breath, you were panting against the heavy door.

“Y/n?” – your eyes widened seeing Queen Alicent slowly rise from her chair, holding a piece of parchment. Near her turned her two sons Aegon and Aemond around to you. – “What are you doing here?” – Alicent asked kindly. You firmly wiped your tears away. Aemond batting his eye down. Alicent softened her expression, coming nearer. – “What is it little Y/n?” – she asked coming up to you where she knelt down.

At the sight of her, you started crying more. Alicent brushing her fingers through your hair to sooth you. – “What happened Y/n?” – she asked. Aegon puffed loudly, crossing his arms. Aemond shot him a glare for acting like this. Your lip trembled. – “Did you get lost?” – Alicent said as you nodded with more tears streaming down your face. Alicent clicked her tongue softly, moving you closer to her for an embrace.

“We were playing hide and seek.” – you told her with a loud shudder. – “Hide and seek?” – Aemond repeated intrigued, coming closer. You nodded as Alicent wiped some tears away. – “That sounds fun.” – she addressed. You nodded again. – “I wasn’t allowed to hide with Luke.” – you told them. Aemond came kneeling beside his mother, holding a hand out to you. – “Did he now little cousin.”

“That is the game!” – Aegon pitched in from afar. Aemond batted his eye briefly up to the ceiling in despair. – “If I were Luke, I would’ve allowed you to hide with me.” – he said making you smile a bit. – “Would you cousin?” – you replied seeing him nod with a loud hum. You gasped loud, jumping into Aemond’s arms when there was a loud knock on the door. Alicent rose as the door entered. A guard popped his head inside. – “Yes?” – Alicent asked quirking her eyebrow up.

The guard’s eyes fell upon you. – “Good, you found her.” – he said making Alicent look down at you. – “This kid’s been wandering at the wrong side of the castle. I’ll get her out of here, your grace.” – he said with a bow. Alicent saw how you pressed yourself closer to Aemond, clearly frightened by the guard. – “Tell me.” -Alicent spoke, holding her chin up. – “Have you been chasing Rhaenyra’s daughter all around this area?” – the guard wasn’t sure what the meaning of her question was but nodded anyway.

Alicent smiled sarcastically to the guard. – “You may go!” – she insisted on. – “But the child.” – the guard begged. Alicent moved her hand up to silence him. – “Leave!” – she made clear. The guard bowed his head, taking his leave. Alicent took a deep breath, composing herself. – “Apologies Y/n. I hope the guards haven’t scared you too much?”

“I…I didn’t mean to wander off.” – you told her as Aemond was still holding you. – “I was just looking for a place to hide from father.” – Alicent shushed you taking your hand. – “All is well Y/n.” – she said. Aemond got back up, following his mother. – “You can stay here if you like, hide from your father.” – she turned round to wink at you. That made you laugh giddy. Aemond picked you up, setting you on the bed. You started jumping on the bed as Aemond tickled you. It made you squirm and come to a stop.

He kept tickling you till you fell back onto the matrass. You felt a pillow underneath you, pulling it away. Aemond looked stunned when you had thrown a pillow at him. Aegon snorting loud. Aemond turned round bothered to his brother. Aegon held his tongue, trying to keep a straight face. Aemond grabbed the pillow, throwing it towards his brother. Aegon ducked down as the pillow hit an oblivious Alicent. You laughed loud as Aemond had widened his eye. – “Mother I am sorry…”- he apologized.

Alicent picked up the pillow, hesitating a moment before surprising Aemond by throwing it back at him. You were laughing loud as Aemond wiped that smile of your face by hitting you. You fell backwards onto the matrass. Alicent and Aemond quickly grabbed a few pillows to defend themselves. Soon a series of throws were exchanged, hitting each other.

Aegon was the only one not participating. He was glancing your way, hearing your loud sweet laughter. Groaning loud, he couldn’t hold it anymore. He grabbed a pillow, joining the fight that seemed like so much fun. He got hit by a pillow, falling onto the matrass with you. You knelt down, hitting him repeatedly with a pillow. - “I surrender cousin.” – Aegon called out as you kept laughing. He got a bit up, wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you down on the matrass with him. Tickling you in revenge.

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Read more of my fics on my Masterlists!

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thechaoticdruid · 10 months ago

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Welcome to my humble party!~

[My Astarion Fanfic Masterlist]

Just call me Druid since I really have no intention of revealing my real name for the foreseeable future.

I decided to make a masterlist just to help organize my stuff!

~Original Characters for story or RP stuff~

Winnifred The Druid -My Tav

Arva Nightshade -Winnie's closest pre-tadpole friend.

Fi The Hornless -A talented bard and a member of Arva's pack. She helped look after a juvenile Winnie.

Elora Ancunin -Under developement...

RP Note: Winnie is currently open to answering questions from all of you beautiful people! She is an open book so do not be afraid to ask away! Astarion may even make an appearance in the reply depending on the question. No he will not bite you, Araj! Just make sure to label your ask; Dear Winnie, Question for Winnie, Hey Winnie, I dare Winnie to, etc, and we will let the fun begin!

More NSFW type questions are accepted, but only by people who have their age visible on their blogs. Minors attempting to ask or anons without any age identification will be blocked/ignored. (Also let's try not to ask anything too gross okay.... I'm into some weird stuff but you know limits, my dude.)

~During campaign Winnie fics Masterlist~

[Click Here Darling~]

~Multi-part Fanfics~

[This Bites] Astarion x Chubby Female MC

A young woman ends up literally stuck with a fictional vampire from her newest video game obsession! She now must deal with keeping him safe and hidden all the while dealing with stress from her shitty stepdad.

Chapters: 1, 2, 3 ,4 , 5 , 6 , 7 , 8

Valentine's Day Special: Eat Your Heart!

[The Spawn Vs The Ascendant] (Fem) Tav x Astarion(s).

Astarion and his lover Tav are happily together after defeating Cazador and freeing 7000 vampire spawn into the Underdark. They are now preparing to take on the Elderbrain when an Astarion look alike, claiming to be 'The Vampire Ascendant' appears and demands the Spawn hand Tav over to him.

Parts: 1 , 2 , 3 , 4

The Spawn vs Tav vs The Ascendant: A smutty one-shot that doesn't really take place in any particular time during the events of TSvTA. MDNI 18+ (Though if I'm honest it probably takes place post story.)

[Firsts] (Named!Fem! Tav x Astarion) Winnie has noticed her vampiric companion had been acting much more aggressively flirtatious lately. Of course, he flirted with everyone, this was common sense. But ever since Winnie had given him a taste of her blood it seemed she was the main target of his affections. Which quite frankly confused the hells out of the young druid. He couldn't actually be interested in her? Could he?

MDNI 18+ There is smut! The second half involves the Tiefling party!

[1/2] [2/2]

[Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts] (Chubby F!Tav x Astarion) After failing yet again to find a good lead on the Ring of the Sunwalker Tav and Astarion return to their current and hopefully temporary home in the Underdark only to be greeted by a distress signal from an old friend and an invitation to extravagant soiree hosted by an eccentric stranger!

Chapters: One ,

~Headcanon lists!~

[Astarion x chubby!reader headcanons!] (GN! Reader)

[🍿Watching movies with Astarion!🍿] (GN! Reader)

[BG3 companions babysitting your kids!] (GN! Reader)

[Telling the companions baby news!] (GN! Reader)

[Meet the Parents!] (A fun little writing challenge I put together. I wrote up headcanons of Astarion meeting my Tav's parents and Winnie meeting Astarion's parents.)

[Astarion's Teddy 🧸] (A little HC about Winnie giving Star a plush.)

~Other~

[All Wrapped up!] A short AstarionxF!Tav Christmas one-shot inspired by my God-awful ability to wrap presents.

[We'll Protect Each Other] While staying at an inn in the Underdark Tav and Astarion are forced to protect each other. Tav defends her lover's honor which later leads to a visit in the night from a familiar face. (Protective! Tav x Astarion One-Shot.)

[The Bite Scene] A rewrite of Astarion's bite camp event with my Tav, Winnie. It was basically a draft from my abandoned long fic.

[The Monster Hunter] Happens right before the The Bite Scene. It's a rewrite of the encounter with Gandrel out in the bog. Another draft from my abandoned long fic that I just decided to share.

[Indulging Curiosity] (F!Tav x Astarion SMUT MDNI) After a particularly bloody battle with a pack of gnolls Astarion finds himself rather hot and bothered seeing his favorite little druid absolutely drenched in blood. Unable to help himself he invites her to join him for an evening of pleasure where he indulges in some of Tav's sexual curiosities.

[Seriously, now!?] (Named!Tav x Astarion, period comfort fic) After causing a scene, embarrassing and being shouted at by the party's own resident wizard, Winnie storms off alone to sulk. Her monthly bleeding is upon her and making everything seem so much worse! But perhaps her vampiric lover can make it all better? (MDNI, slight smut at the end.)

[Forever] A requested rewrite of the camp event where Astarion's siblings come to kidnap him, but featuring Winnie!

[Delicious] (Named!Tav x Astarion) While camping in the Underdark the tadpole crew gather around the fire telling stories to pass the time. One way or another they turn into tales of old lovers. Which brings up a curious question? How come Winnie had no lovers before Astarion? (MDNI SMUT AT END)

~Taglists~

[This Bites] Comment on the latest chapter to be added!

[Winnie during BG3] Comment here to be tagged whenever I drop any fics that take place during Baldur's Gate 3 campaign!

[The Spawn Vs The Ascendant] Comment here to be added to the taglist, but hurry! This fic will soon be complete!

Ao3 Account Though most of my stuff will probably be updated here on Tumblr first!

Blog Rules ig: Okay so I normally try to promote positivity it's why my fics are mostly comedy based. That being said, anyone who comes here acting like an asshat is getting blocked. I don't tolerate homophobia, heterophobia, biphobia, panphobia or really any kind of discrimination towards anyone's sexuality. Transphobic behavior is also unacceptable and will result in a block. Racism, or sexism of any kind is also not tolerated, understand? We're all going to be friends here. Treat people the way you want to be treated.

Requests???

Hi, friendly neighborhood Druid here. My ADHD gives me a shit ton of trouble writing so I'm real iffy about doing requests of any kind. That being said, I'm currently only taking specific requests involving Astarion x my Tav Winnie where I rewrite a scene from the in game campaign. I've already done the Tiefling Party so that is out of the question. And so is anything post Act 3 final boss. I'm also honestly just open to chatting through the asks.

-Druid

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tieronecrush · 1 year ago

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hot & heavy

chapter ten: a hidden gem, my own goldmine

neighbor!joel x f!reader

series masterlist

series rating: E (18+ MDNI)

series summary:

over the course of three summers, joel miller becomes woven into your life. the first summer is spent falling for him; nannying his daughter and sneaking around with him in a burning love affair. you know how you feel about joel, he isn’t so sure about how it all is gonna work. the second summer is brief. a month spent at home after graduation and before you move to boston for your dream job. one look at you, one time hearing your voice, and joel is hooked again. he pines over you for that month, but you think — how is long distance of over a thousand miles going to work for a single dad? the third summer, you return home burnt out and pride bruised from your post-grad life. you need time to feel at home again, like your complete self, so you’ve come back home with no return ticket booked. it’s only a matter of time before joel seeks you out, slowly spending more time with you. without an inevitable end to the summer looming over you both, what chances are you willing to take?

word count: 10k

warnings: NO OUTBREAK (don’t need to worry about the mushies), no use of y/n, inexperienced reader, age gap (joel is 30/31, reader is 22), canon-divergent (sarah is 7 y/o), nanny au, pet names (sweetheart, darling, sweet girl, mariposa, etc.), polite southern manners, feeling familial and self-pressure, ESTABLISHED relationship FINALLY, spanish cause joel is latino, fingering, unprotected p in v, dirty talkkk king joel miller, soft (and soft dom) joel, possessive joel, mentions of depression diagnosis and symptoms, struggling with self, discussion of co-parenting, angst, MAJOR doubt! and a slumber party! yay!

a/n: thank you as always to the bestie/cousin/sister wife/sweet, sweet gf @northernbluess for beta-reading this chapter, seriously i can't write without you so you're stuck with me. also this chapter is a little heavier in spanish then before, so if there are any corrections needed, please comment or message me! i went through multiple translations to try to find the best/most common, but things are bound to slip through the cracks.

Joel’s been catching up with some chores around the house this evening after Sarah’s gone to bed: dishes are washed and put away, counters wiped down and floors mopped. He reset the living room after he put the laundry in the dryer, settling onto the couch with a long sigh. Hands rub at his tired eyes, muscles aching for his bed but he is determined to stay up until you text him that you’re back at your friend’s house safe.

A few of your friends from college ended up with jobs in Austin, and tonight you’d all arranged to go out downtown. You had, sweetly, invited Joel to tag along but when you mentioned that the only other guys there would be boyfriends of your friends that were your age, he politely declined. Well, he used his daughter as an excuse because he didn’t want to admit that he was a little insecure about the age difference, even still.

It’s not even a large one, you’re twenty-five and he’s thirty-three, but with a nearly ten year old kid and his own business, he’s willing to bet he’s in a much different place in life than your friends' significant others. And if there isn’t a lot of common ground, Joel knows he’s not the most social or conversational.

Resting his eyes, his head rolls back onto the couch while the TV drones on about the latest Astros game. A short buzz from his phone in his pocket peels his eyes open, yawning quietly as he fishes the device out and flips it open.

FROM: Mariposa

Cn u pcik me up pLs????

While deciphering your drunk text, another couple are delivered and he keys down to see them as he chuckles at the antics.

I miiss u

Eveynoe is w their BFs n I wnt mine

Plesaseeeeeee J

Before he can type a response to you, an incoming call blocks out his screen, his thumb hitting the accept button quickly and bringing the phone to his ear.

“Feelin’ alright, Mari?”

A hiccup on the other line makes him laugh quietly again, your voice coming in over the music and people in the background, “No, not alright. M’sad.”

“Why’re you sad, sweet girl?”

“Cause you’re not here. Every—everybody’s…No I didn’t want a vodka water, gross! I wanna vodka soooooda with lime…Oops, sorry J. What was I saying?” A giggle from your end pulls a smile on his face, only slightly worried at your level of intoxication.

“You were telling me why you’re sad.”

“Right! M’sad cause all my friends have got their boy—” One hiccup. “Boyfriends here. And you’re aaaallllll the way at home.” Another hiccup. “I wanna be home with you.”

“I see. Well, I don’t want you to be sad, darlin’, so m’gonna come pick you up. How’s that sound?”

He hears a gasp into the phone and your voice gets quieter, imagining you holding the phone or turning your head away to a nearby friend.

“He’s coming! Jus’ to pick me up though, we gotta get back for Sar—Sarah…Yeah, she’s so cute…Well, yeah duh, he’s a DILF…I mean, to me I guess he’d be a DIAF…‘Dad I Am Fucking’…Oh, shit!” There’s a rustling as he laughs to himself overhearing your conversation, a smug smile on his face from you bragging to your friends. “M’sorry, J, god I totally forgot I was on the phone!” You punctuate your sentence with an incredulous laugh before quieting down to hear Joel.

“That’s alright, Mari. M’gonna drop Sarah with Tommy and then come and get you, okay? Can you tell me where you are?” Joel is already standing from the couch, grabbing his keys from the entryway before making his way upstairs to get Sarah into the car.

“Ummm…One sec!” The line rustles again while he stands at the top of the stairs. “Okay, we’re at that place on 11th, Nickel City.”

“Yeah, I know where that is, sweetheart. Be there soon, okay?”

“Okay. Tha—” One last hiccup. “—nks, J.”

“Anytime, amor. Anytime.”

With Sarah dropped off at Tommy’s, Joel goes into town to pick you up. It takes another twenty minutes from Tommy’s place, finding a parking spot not too far from the bar. He slips in the door and starts to comb his eyes over the crowd, most people stepping out of his way from his intimidating frame while he weaves through the masses.

Spotting you off to the side at a high-top table, some friends he recognizes from your photos dotted around the surface as well. You’re wrapped up in a conversation with the person next to you while you sit on a stool, Joel’s eyes finally landing on the person you’re talking to. It’s another man, about his height, maybe a few inches shorter. He’s got light hair, a clean-cut look with some fancy shirt on. Clearly, the guy is flirting with you, standing closer and leaning an arm around the back of your chair. Knowing how drunk you sounded over the phone, it occurs to him that you likely don’t even realize this guy’s body language, a primal possessiveness taking over his judgment.

He’s waited years for you. There’s no way in hell he isn’t putting on a show for this guy to send him a message.

Joel rolls his shoulders back, chest raising with the corrective posture. He saunters over to the table, politely smiling and waving as your friends must recognize him and welcome him to the group. He walks right up to the other side of your chair, placing a hand on your lower back and brushing against the skin exposed by the tank top you’re wearing.

A small gasp exhales from you with the surprise contact, turning your head and beaming when you see him. The look makes the wings of his butterfly flap faster, beating in time with his heartbeat.

“You’re here! M’so happy to see you.” He matches your smile before he is crushed in a hug, your arms around his neck. Unraveling from each other, you turn back toward the other man, before one of your other friends comes over to tell you something, pulling you away but still within arm’s length for Joel to keep his hand on you.

Joel reaches his hand out toward the man, “Nice to meet you…”

“Colton.”

“Nice to meet you, Colton. Are you one of the college friends?”

Colton gives a weak handshake to Joel, shaking his head with a laugh, “No, actually, never met any of ‘em until tonight. Well, except Taylor. M’relatively new to town, met Taylor through work, so you know how it is. Trying to make some connections.”

Joel has to hold back his eye roll, annoyance clear on his face at the skirting around that this Colton is doing. Joel’s heard it before from Tommy — going up to a girl and using the ‘new in town’ line to get a conversation started and to hopefully get them to leave with you to ‘show you around’.

Mine. You’re mine, he repeats to himself, the jealousy pumping in his veins.

“So’re you one of the college friends? Or an Austin friend?” Colton makes polite conversation while you turn in Joel’s arm and wrap your own around his back. Tugging on his t-shirt the fingers of one of your hands slip under the material and skim across his skin. Joel clears his throat, chuckling dryly as he keeps his gaze on Colton.

“Uh, not quite. M’the boyfriend.” His head nods to his side to you, a tight, smug smile on his face as he watches the gears in Colton’s head turn.

It’s not happening for him tonight. Or ever.

“Oh shit! You must be Joel! We’ve been waiting for you. I’ve just been making sure she’s had some water and didn’t wander off before you got here. She’s been talkin’ about you all night, made me think about how many times I’ve drunkenly ranted about my girlfriend.”

“Your girlfriend?”

“Yeah, Taylor’s my girlfriend — she’s the one with blonde hair right across the table.” Colton beams down the way as Taylor makes eye contact with him, waving to the woman as she smiles back at him.

The man is a golden retriever. And Joel thought he was some douchebag trying to hook up with his girlfriend. Joel opens his mouth to apologize for his cold behavior, but before he can your head pops up from his chest, grabbing his attention. Hands at his back scratch your nails against his skin, humming contently as you press a sloppy kiss to his jaw.

Colton considers his duties relieved and goes to find his girlfriend before Joel can thank him, leaving the two of you at the end of the table. Joel pulls his chin in to look down at you, smiling softly and moving a hand to the back of your neck.

“You alright, sweetheart?”

“Yeah, jus’ happy you’re here. Missed you.”

Joe presses a kiss to your forehead and you hum again, swaying sleepily in his arms. “M’glad you called me, Mariposa.”

“Can we go home now please?”

“Yeah, Mari, ‘course we can. You want me to bring you to your house?” His hands move to your sides, running up and down against the fabric of your tank top. You hook your arms around his neck and shake your head, a tiny “humpf” accompanying it.

“No, home.”

“My house?”

“Yes! Home. Wanna sleep in your bed, s’comfier than mine.”

“Yeah, sweetheart, I can bring you home.”

A warm stirring is felt in his chest, steadying you in your stance and keeping an arm around your waist. You say goodbye to your friends, all of them waving to you both as Joel steers you through the bar and to his truck outside.

Joel calls Tommy on the way home, his brother telling him that Sarah’s out cold and he can bring her back in the morning when she wakes up. He presses for an answer about why Joel had to drop Sarah off, but Joel ignores Tommy’s question again and hangs up.

Safely back at his house, he helps you out of the truck and inside, walking behind you on the stairs as you stumble. It’s like a baby deer learning to walk — he’s never seen you this drunk, tipsy, sure, but never at this level. A smile crosses his face as he imagines a moment like this in the future with you, maybe after a night out for the two of you or maybe even after your wedding.

Your voice pulls him out of his thoughts, tripping over your feet at the landing and recovering on your own. His hand hovers at your back, ready to break your fall if it happens.

“I’m alright, m’alright. Jus’ tripped a lil’.”

To be safe, Joel holds your hips the rest of the way up and into his room, sitting you on the edge of the mattress and gathering a t-shirt from his drawers for you to wear to bed.

“No, I want the funny one that I like,” you whine, waving a hand back at his dresser. Joel shakes his head to himself, chuckling about the fact that you still have a preference for sleep attire.

He grabs the shirt you’re talking about, a worn and washed one that he got as a joke from Tommy a few years ago. He normally wears it to sleep himself, if he wears one, or around the house if he knows he won’t be going out. It’s faded black now, yellow text that reads ‘I do know it all…I just can’t remember it all at once.’

Upon finding it in his drawer last week, you laughed hysterically and made him put it on for a Polaroid. You’ve also requested it every time you’ve stayed over since.

In front of you again, with the correct shirt, he kneels down and pats the outside of your thighs. “Can you stand for me, sweetheart?”

Using his shoulders as support, you stand on sea legs, swaying back and forth as he looks up at you. “Can I take off your skirt, darlin’?”

“Yeah, you can, cutie.” You giggle and sway wider, playing with the curls at the top of his head, turning his head to your will as he unbuttons and unzips your denim skirt. “You got some grays mixed in here, mister.”

“M’getting old, Mari. No surprises there.” He chuckles and helps you lift each foot to step out of the tube of material completely, rubbing a hand on your calf before he stands in front of you again. He’s faced with a pout, brows knit together in anger.

“You’re not getting old. You’re literally in your thirties. Not old.”

“Say that to the gray hairs then, sweetheart.”

“Gray hairs—“ Hiccup. “Mean nothing ‘sides the fact that you’re gonna be a silver fox. My silver fox.”

A content smile, closed lips, pulls the corners of your mouth up. Heavy eyelids cover your irises halfway, the sight of you so drunkenly drowsy is utterly adorable to him. Fingers grip the bottom of your tank top, kissing your forehead.

“Can I take off your shirt?”

“Take it all off, bay-beeee.” Your swaying causes you to stumble again, Joel catching you before you fall back onto the bed. Once you’re steady, your own hands slip under his shirt, running over his tummy while you press sloppy kisses into his neck. “Mm, want you so bad, J.”

“I love you, darlin’, and you know I want you all the time, but not tonight. You need to get some water and go to sleep. For a while.” A defeated sigh blows against his skin, rocking back on your heels and Joel holding your weight to bring you to stand straight again. “Arms up, baby.”

You comply without another ask, lifting your arms as if they’re heavy weights, allowing Joel to tug the material over your head. With a slight slap sound, your arms drop back against your sides. Joel takes off your bra for you and gets you into his t-shirt, giving you a small kiss. He walks you to your side of the bed, tucking you in.

“Be right back, sweet girl. Gonna get you some water and then you can go to sleep, okay?”

“Okay.” You sigh, nesting into the sheets and duvet. Your eyes close, soft hums filling the room as he runs downstairs, filling a glass of water and grabbing ibuprofen to leave at your bedside for the morning.

Returning to his room, he coaxed you to sit up, having you drink half the glass. He changes for bed himself, stripping down to his boxers and slipping under the covers, pulling you closer with an arm around your waist.

“G’night, Mari.”

“Mm, night, J. Thanks for coming to get me and bringing me home. Like sleeping next to you lots more than a sleepover with my friends…”

“Like sleeping next to you too, Mari. Missed you all night. M’glad you’re home now.”

“Nightie night.”

“Nightie night, sweet girl. Don’t let the bedbugs bite.” He pinches your side playfully, breathing a laugh out of his nose at your yelp and squeezing you closer. With a kiss to the top of your head, he lulls you to sleep with his fingertips running up and down your spine, thoughts going right back to those flash images of a future with you.

“Love you, Mariposa.”

There’s an ache all over your body, eyes too sore and crusted over with sleep to peel open when you first wake up. Light peeks through the curtains, shining onto the bed and directly at your face, making you groan into the pillow and attempt to roll over.

Unfortunately, your body is telling you to get up, find water or pain meds or some coffee, you really wouldn’t be all too picky at this moment. Rolling over onto your back, you reach out to your side and feel bedding underneath your hand, pouting to yourself when you finally open your eyes and see Joel’s gone. As you sit up, you can hear the shower turn on in the bathroom attached to his bedroom and you can hear some quiet humming from the other side of the door. A smile crosses your face, the idea of a shower nestling itself in your mind and feeling like it would be the only thing to get rid of all of this hangover.

On the nightstand next to you, there are two burgundy-colored tablets and a half glass of water, vaguely remembering last night when Joel made you drink the other half before going to sleep. Washing down the ibuprofen with the entirety of the water, you start to recount what you can recall from the night before, cringing internally when you get to the point that Joel showed up to pick you up. You don’t really remember getting home, but looking down at the t-shirt you’re wearing clues you in that Joel must have done most of the work to get you into bed.

Slipping out from under the duvet, you set the empty glass back down and slink over to the bathroom, twisting the knob and opening the door. The squeak of the hinges breaks your sneaking attempt and Joel’s humming stops.

He speaks up over the sound of the water, “Mariposa? That you?”

“I sure hope no one else would be sneaking into the bathroom this morning. Unless you have another drunk girlfriend you had to pick up from the bar,” you laugh at the self-deprecating joke, picking up your toothbrush and squeezing out a dollop of toothpaste to clean your teeth. And to get rid of the taste of tequila lingering on your tongue.

The shower curtain slides back a bit and Joel’s head sticks out, goofy grin on his face with curls hanging on his forehead. “Nah, just got the one. How’re feeling this morning?”

“Like I got beat up by a bunch of vodka sodas and a couple of tequila shots.” Your words are muffled around the foamy toothpaste, leaning back against the counter facing him.

“Yeah, you were pretty drunk, darlin’. But it was honestly cute, you’re a funny drunk.”

Turning back toward the sink, you fold over the sink to spit out and rinse your mouth out, groaning softly, “God, please tell me I didn’t do or say anything embarrassing.”

“Nothin’ too bad, but there were some things that I will be committing to memory,” Joel laughs and winks, the noise getting louder as you groan again and roll your head back.

“This is the worst part about getting drunk. People holding stupid shit you said over your head.” Crossing your arms in front of your chest, you look at Joel across the few feet separating you and watch him shake his head and grin sweetly.

“I’ll tell you what you said, sweetheart, but I think you’re in too physically fragile of a state right now.”

“God, you are right about that,” you sigh and shake your head, propping yourself off the counter you were leaning on, crossing the tiles to be only a foot from Joel’s face, “Can I join you? A shower sounds like exactly what I need right now.”

He nods quickly, halfway through the question and you chuckle at the antics, pulling the t-shirt over your head and slipping off your panties to leave both in a heap with Joel’s clothes. He opens the curtain for you and steps back toward the other wall while you close the curtain and drag yourself under the stream of water.

A sigh relaxes your chest and shoulders, closing your eyes as you let the warm water run all over you. Joel’s hands brush across your skin, the feeling of his work-worn palms sending a tingle of excitement down your skin and chilling your body even under the hot water. His thumbs cup under your breasts while the rest of his fingers splay out on your ribcage, tips of them toward your back as he holds you closer to him.

“Mm, you’re so beautiful, d’you know that, mi Mariposa? La mujer más hermosa del mundo (The most beautiful woman in the world),” Joel mumbles against your skin when he nestles into the crook of your neck, curving his back to fit with you perfectly. His hands wander from your ribs, circling around your back and drifting down to the swell of your ass where they settle with a gentle squeeze.

“I think I’m getting better at Spanish 'cause I understood that. And it was very sweet, thank you, J. I think you’re the most beautiful man in the world.” You giggle and feel Joel exhale a chuckle against your neck, peppering slow and spaced kisses along your shoulder.

“You also told me something else about what you think of me last night. Well, it was to one of your friends but you were still on the phone with me so I heard,” he stretches to full height again with a smug smirk, squeezing your ass again as you sigh.

“Oh god, what did I say to you? Did I feed your massive ego?” you tease, bringing your hands up to his shoulders and lightly scratching your nails against his skin.

“I learned that I am a DILF last night. Or according to you, I am a DIAF to you. Dad I Am Fucking.” He can barely get the last sentence out around his loud laugh, your embarrassed reaction of wide eyes and jaw dropped egging him on more.

“Stop, I cannot believe I said that. And that you heard! You’re never going to let me live that down.”

“Not a chance, sweetheart. Not a chance,” Joel can’t wipe the giggly smile off of his face as he continues, “Oh, and you also were definitely really into me getting you into pajamas last night. I asked if I could take off your shirt and you said ‘Take it all off bay-beeee’. Which was very tempting.”

“Oh my god, if you don’t stop telling me all of this right now, I won’t take anything off for you again.” It’s a thinly veiled threat, both of you know it holds zero weight.

“Alright, alright. I’ll stop.”

“Thank you,” you breathe out as you turn toward the shelf in the shower, reaching for the body wash before Joel intercepts your hand, holding it in his and lowering it to your side. He presses his chest to your back, the contact also nudging his hard cock into the flesh of your ass.

“Y’know, I woke up this morning after you were all over me last night with a fucking hard on. Aching for you. And then you come in here and ask to join me in the shower, made it come right back…” he leans down, kissing your shoulder, up your neck and to your ear, “D’you still want me, Mariposa? Hm?”

One of his hands drifts to your inner thighs, coaxing your legs apart and swiping two fingers from your entrance to your clit. Your arousal coats his fingers, a quiet whimper leaving your lips in an exhale, eyes closing and head rolling back against his shoulder.

“You still want me, mi dulzura? Feels like you do,” his lips are against your ear, voice low and gravelly, and he slowly circles your clit as you continue to whimper and writhe in his arms, “Sounds like you do, too, mi amor. Y’know, we have the whole house to ourselves, Mariposa. I want you to be loud for me while I touch you. Understand?”

Lost in the sparks of pleasure slowly building, your words get caught in your throat as one of your arms reaches up to wrap around to the nape of his neck. At the lack of response to his question, Joel pinches your clit before pulling his hand away.

“No, no, no, please. I understand. I’ll be loud for you, J. Please touch me…”

You grip the curls at the back of his head, biting your lip and opening your eyes again to look at Joel’s head at your side. His hand comes back, his thumb rubbing your clit while his middle finger sinks into you until the first knuckle. He keeps his eyes on your face, slowly working the finger in and out of your cunt, never giving it to you fully.

“Fuck, don’t tease me, Joel. Please, pretty please, gimme more.”

A deep chuckle rumbles from his chest, his nose nudging at your cheek to turn your head straight toward the tiled wall, pressing open-mouthed kisses along your jaw.

“You want more, Mariposa?”

“Pleasepleaseplease.”

“Mm, and are you going to be good? Give me all your pretty sounds that I love?” Joel pushes his entire middle finger into you now, holding it there, “If I give you what you want, you gotta be loud for me, pretty girl.”

“I will, I promise.” You wiggle your hips to get any more friction building, grumbling in frustration when Joel’s other arm tugs your hips back against him, strapping you to him like a seatbelt. The thumb against your clit leaves, and as you’re about to complain again, Joel adds another finger and starts to thrust them in and out frenetically, the heel of his palm rubbing the sensitive bud at the front of your folds.

A sinful moan rolls from your gut, bouncing off of the walls of the shower and drowning out the sound of the water for a few seconds. You can feel Joel’s satisfied smirk against your skin, his mouth dipping to the crook of your neck to suck at your pulse point and leave his mark. His hand continues its rapid pace, your legs bending as they start to give out the closer you reach to the edge. To attempt to hold your weight, you lean your arms against the tiles, feeling yourself being held up by Joel’s arm tightened across your hips.

“Fuck, Joel, feels so fucking good. Oh!” Your voice pitches up when his fingers graze that spot inside your walls, the sound catching in your throat. Joel pushes deeper with his fingers, hooking them to find that same spot and petting against it with small strokes of his fingers. The sounds coming from you are uncontrollable, head falling back against his shoulder as a mess of his name, lustful whimpers and whines, and wanton moans echo in the steaming shower.

“That’s it, pretty girl, I can feel how close you are. Nearly squeezing my fingers out of ya.” Joel’s small groan vibrates against your shoulder, his hard-on being pressed into your back and leaking pre-cum. You can feel yourself clench around his fingers, the edges of your vision blurring as you near your peak. “Gonna come for me, Mari? Gonna be a good girl and come all over my hand so you can be ready for my cock?”

His words are the final push, pleasure oozing around his fingers and dripping down your folds, warmth spreading in your body as your nerve endings tingle. You can hear yourself moaning his name, small encouragements spoken in your ear as Joel continues to fuck his fingers into you throughout your orgasm. When you’re fully present in your body again, Joel slips his fingers out of you slowly, turning your head and kissing you deeply.

“Need you so fucking bad, Mariposa,” he says against your lips, kissing you fervently before speaking again, “Wanna bend you over and make you take my cock, and you’ll tell me how good it feels filling you up. You want it, pretty girl?”

“Need it, J. Please, I need you so bad.” You kiss him this time, pressing your hips back and grinding against his cock, the rumble of a mouth muffled into your mouth as your tongues meld together. Joel pulls away and grips your hips, turning both of you so his back is facing the stream of water.

“Hands against the wall, amor, arch your back for me—” You follow his instructions with one of his large hands skimming along your spine, folded to an angle at your hips. “That’s it, baby. So good for me.”

Joel takes his cock in his hands, teasing his tip at your entrance and earning a whine from you. A dark laugh is heard faintly from behind you, an equally quiet sigh of relief when he gives you just the tip.

“Mm, fuck, Mari. Estás tan apretado, y húmedo, y cálido. Nunca me voy a cansar de este coño. (You’re so tight, and wet, and warm. I’m never going to get tired of this pussy.)”

Before you can formulate any sort of response, despite not fully knowing what he said, Joel gives you a few more inches of his cock, stuttering out a moan from you before his hips set a rough, desperate pace. Grunts and groans, moans and whimpers fill the bathroom, your names exchanged back and forth as he fucks you from behind. His hands hold tightly onto your hips, digging in to surely form bruises to match the hickey at your collar, and to keep you from being rammed into the wall with how hard his thrusts are.

“More, fuck, gimme all of it, J. Want you to fill me up, make it hard to fucking walk straight.”

There’s a vibrating rumble that resonates in your own chest, Joel completely pulling out on the downstroke and heaving his chest up and down with shallow breaths.

“Fucking dirty girl. Mi chica sucia. Filthy, baby.” He runs his fingers down the line of your spine, still arched for him. You feel him lined up at your entrance again, whimpering for him and pressing your hips back to try to get him inside. Joel chuckles, shaking his head, “Mm, can’t get enough of my cock, can you, sweetheart? Greedy little thing.”

Your jaw drops open with a toe-curling moan, Joel’s hips thrusting his throbbing cock into your waiting cunt to fill you completely, the same rough and hard pace set as he makes you knock forward and brace against the wall with every movement.

“Take it, darlin’. Oh, fuck, aguantarla. Puedes aguantarla, mi dulzura. (Oh, fuck, take it. You can take it, my sweetness.)” Joel’s head rolls back with another guttural moan, tilting forward to watch his cock disappearing into your dripping hole. “Fuck, such a pretty pussy. And it’s all fucking mine, isn’t that right, Mariposa?”

“Y-Yes! Fuck yeah, it’s all yours, J. No one could ever fuck me like you,” you glance over your shoulder and he makes eye contact, a wide, knowing smile on his face. Your cunt clenches around his cock, his brutal pace hurtling you toward the edge. Just as you’re about to ask for that little bit more, he reads your mind and slips one of his hands around your front, errantly rubbing circles in your clit.

“Can feel you around me, Mari, know you’re close. You gonna let me fill you up with my come? Gonna milk my cock with your tight pussy?”

All you can do is nod, eyes shutting tightly as moans squeak out of you. One hand reaches back to grip his wrist as he keeps you right there at the edge.

“Say it, baby. Say it back to me and I’ll let you come. Give you just what you need.”

A deep breath brings enough air into your lungs to rasp out, “Please fill me up, Joel. Wanna milk your cock of everything you can give me, want you to be dripping out of me all day. Remind me of how only you can have my pussy.”

“Fuck yeah, that’s right, sweetheart. Such a good girl.” Joel eyes that you have a hand bracing you still, letting go of your hip as he fucks you, rubbing your clit continuously. He reaches his free hand around to your mouth, prodding his thumb at your lips and humming when you take it into your mouth and suck. After a minute, he pops out his saliva covered digit and brings it back to your body, pushing into the tight ring of muscle facing him. The sensation of stimulation at all three places barrels you to your high, pussy gripping his cock as everything tenses and pleasure rocks your body and clears your mind.

With the tightness felt in both holes around him, Joel takes one, two, three more thirsts before he’s spilling into you, ropes of come coating your walls and lazy jerks of his hips fucking it deeper into you.

After a moment, Joel pulls out of you slowly, gathering all that dribbles out of you and pushing it back inside with his fingers, causing a shudder down your spine.

The two of you come down from your peaks, the water running cold now. Still needing to clean yourselves, Joel washes your body while you shampoo and condition his hair as he folds over to gently exfoliate your legs. The tasks get swapped, Joel washing your hair while you wash his body.

Stepping out, he grabs a towel for you, wrapping it around you tightly and giving you a sweet, chaste kiss. He gets another towel for himself, both of you drying off and heading back into his bedroom to get dressed again.

You sit on the edge of his bed in your clothes from last night, one of his shirts pulled over your tank top and tucked into your skirt. As you comb your fingers over your wet hair, you look at Joel as he pulls on a pair of jeans standing next to his closet.

“Hey, I have a question for you, actually.”

“Shoot, darlin’.”

“Am I remembering correctly that last night when you came to the bar, you were acting a little jealous toward Colton? Did you think he was flirting with me or something and you got all possessive?” you giggle quietly.

Joel blushes and shakes his head with an overexaggerated eye roll. “Pffft, no. Don’t remember it happening like that, probably a bit clouded in your memory.”

Laughing more, you stand up and cross over to him, hands splayed on his soft tummy and head tilted away from him.

“Oh, sure. Sure, J, we’ll go with that if it makes you feel better.” Reaching up you give his cheek a gentle pat and wink at him, giggling faintly before he gathers you up in his arms and gives you a kiss.

“Good, 'cause it does make me feel better. ‘Sides can you blame me for getting a little jealous? We’ve waited like three years to get this right with each other, m’not letting it go.”

“Me neither, which is why you don’t ever have to be jealous cause it’s only you, baby.” You send him a wink and a grin, giving him a kiss before you both hear the front door open, Tommy’s voice echoing upstairs as he calls out for Joel. He looks down at you, biting his lip.

“I didn’t think he’d be bringing Sarah home this early. Uh, d’you mind that he’s here or should I jus’ say…” he trails off awkwardly, waiting for your thoughts on how to broach the fact that you’re over here, in Joel’s shirt and clearly have stayed the night with your wet hair from the shower.

“If you’re fine with him knowing, we can tell him. That is if Sarah hasn’t spilled the beans already.” Joel laughs faintly and nods, running his hands up and down your arms.

“That is highly possible. But guess we’ll have to find out when we head downstairs. And I’m apologizing now for any stupid shit my brother says.”

“You act like I don’t know Tommy already.”

“You don’t know Tommy as my girlfriend. He’s going to give you some shit, and he’s going to give a lot to me for keeping it from him.”

“Think I can survive Tommy Miller. Now, c’mon, get a shirt on, and let’s go. I need some coffee.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Joel descendsed the stairs ahead of you, rounding the corner into the kitchen and greeting his brother as Tommy pours himself a cup of coffee. Sarah is already at the table, cereal bowl in front her as she eats and reads her book. Joel grabs two mugs from the cabinet, earning a confused look from Tommy before you walk into the room, the confusion melting into mischief. His brother nudges at Joel’s arm and winks.

“Ah, así que esta es la razón de su aventura nocturna en la ciudad. Puedo ver por qué estabas tan desesperada por mi ayuda. (Oh, so this is the reason for your late-night adventure into the city. I can see why you were so desperate for my help.)”

Joel’s eyes roll into the back of his head, “Cállate, Tommy. Necesitaba que la llevaran a casa, así que le di una. (Shut up, Tommy. She needed a ride home, so I gave her one.)”

“Claro, claro. Un paseo. (Sure, sure. A ride.)”

“Pendejo de mierda (Fucking dumbass).”

“¿Qué? No estoy diciendo que haya algo malo en ello. Estoy feliz de ver a su hijo si significa que usted consigue algunos. Finalmente. (What? I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with it. I am happy to watch your child if it means you getting some. Finally.)” He laughs when Joel glares at him, Tommy crossing over to the table and covering Sarah’s ears. “Además, ella está jodidamente caliente. No sé lo que ve en un viejo como tú. (Plus, she’s fucking hot. Don’t know what she sees in an old man like you.)”

“Yo tampoco. Y deja de hablar de ella así. (I don’t either. And stop talking about her like that.)” Joel’s voice grits out the last sentence, his short fuse being tested with Tommy’s teasing this morning.

“No, realmente, ella es casi diez años más joven y podría conseguir a quien quisiera, pero ¿eres tú? Mejor empieza a apostar por los caballos, hermano. (No, really, she’s almost ten years younger and could get anybody she wanted, but it’s you? Better start betting on the horses, brother.)” His younger brother comes back to stand next to him, picking up his mug and taking a sip.

“Déjalo. (Quit it.)” Joel sends him another glare, grabbing the milk out of the fridge to add some to your cup.

“Maldita sea, tal vez tengo que contratar a una niñera para Sarah cuando está en mi casa. O tal vez la contrate yo mismo. (Damn, maybe I gotta hire a nanny for Sarah when she’s at my house. Or maybe I’ll hire her myself.)”

When Joel looks back at Tommy, he sees him eyeing you as you talk to Sarah at the table, smacking him upside the back of his head.

“Tommy, si no te callas la mierda ahora mismo, lo juro por Dios. (Tommy, if you don’t shut the fuck right now, I swear to god.)”

“Qué? Ella tu novia ahora? (What? She your girlfriend now?)” The young Miller questions, raising an eyebrow.

“Sí, lo es. Así que deja de hablar de lo caliente que es mi novia. (Yeah, she is. So stop talking about how hot my girlfriend is.)” Joel states matter-of-factly, shutting the fridge after returning the jug of milk.

“I understood some of that actually,” you say with a proud smile on your face, one of eager mischief on Tommy’s across the room.

Joel whips his head to you, wide eyes, “What did you understand?”

“You called him an asshole. Something about Sarah. The word girlfriend was thrown in there.”

Joel sighs quietly in relief, picking up your prepared mug of coffee.

“Oh, and something about you being old. And that your brother thinks I’m hot. ” Tommy sputters on his drink as he starts to laugh loudly, a deep blush warming Joel’s cheeks. You walk over to him and take the mug out of his hand, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “Nothing to be embarrassed about. Cause you’re not old and Tommy just wishes he wasn’t single at thirty years old.”

Joel laughs and Tommy waves your comment off, rolling his eyes before winking at you, “Oh please, you wish you found me before this old man.”

“Sure, Tommy. You can think that all you want, but I met you both on the same day.” Joel barks out a laugh, a smug grin on his face from you holding your own toward Tommy.

Joel looks at his brother, a smile growing on Tommy’s face, “Well, maybe you needed to get your eyes checked that day, Posey. Cause you’d have to be blind to not pick me over the decrepit ass.”

“Y’know, I’m happy to set you up with one of my friends. She likes the type of cute guys who think they’re funny.”

“I know I’m funny, Posey, so not sure if it’s gonna work out. But yes, I would like to be set up with this friend of yours, please…” You laugh and nod, sipping your coffee before answering.

“I’ll work some magic for ya, Tommy.”

“I like this one, Joel, better keep her around so she can be my wingman.”

“You say ‘this one’ as if there have been others,” Joel rolls his eyes and continues, “And I certainly don’t need your advice on that front Tommy. She’s got me as long as she wants me, but please dear god, you should not be his wingwoman. Don’t subject yourself to that torture, Mari.”

The three of you chat to catch up, Tommy genuinely asking about your time in Boston and telling you how glad he is that you’re back around to make his people happy again. The comment swells your heart before your attention is pulled to Sarah as she asks about having a sleepover with you.

“I would love to throw a sleepover with you, sweet pea. I’ll bring over all the goodies to your house and we can stay in your room and watch movies and paint our nails and do all the fun girly things.”

“Yes! And Daddy and Uncle Tommy aren’t allowed ‘cause no boys.” She points at the two of them, both of them frowning and sighing.

“Can I at least be at home, mija?” Joel jokes, and the three of you laugh as Sarah seriously considers her answer.

“Yeah, that’s fine, but you gotta leave us to do the sleepover things ourselves.”

“Deal, Bug. I can do that.”

“Oh yes! It’s all decided then, we’ll have a sleepover when your week at camp is over.” You clap your hands together and grin, already planning everything you need to do this week to prepare for it.

“Damn, Mari, you brought a lot of stuff for one night with Sarah.” Joel eyes you from head to toe, a duffle on your arm, and shopping bags in your hands. He takes the plastic bags from you, holding the back door open for you before following you over to the island to set down all of your purchases. “You do know it’s only Sarah, right, darlin’? None of her friends are coming. This is a practice run for a sleepover.”

“I know, but I wanted to make the first girly sleepover she has at her house fun. I loved having my friends stay over when I was younger, and I dunno, you’re a boy so you don’t get it.” Rustling around in the bags, you start to pull out snacks and candy, along with fun new nail polishes and nail stickers, new hair clips, some young-girl-friendly makeup, and new pajamas for Sarah and you.

“Sweetheart, this is all really nice, but let me give you some money for it all. This is a ton of stuff.” Joel glances at the counter covered in supplies, and before you can answer he’s walking to the front door to get his wallet from the entryway table.

You call out after him, “I’m not going to take it so don’t bother trying! It wasn’t even that much anyway.”

Popping back around the corner into the kitchen, cash in hand, he shakes his head with a mocking laugh, “You’re funny. Even if it was five dollars, I’m giving you ten. Now please take the cash.”

Joel stops in front of you, hand out with a hundred in his hand. A dry laugh leaves your chest, pushing his hand away as you continue to sort through everything from the shops, “Not happening. This was way less than a hundred dollars too, so definitely not accepting that. Go put it back in your wallet, Miller.”

“You’re so goddam stubborn sometimes.”

“Oh, yeah, and you’re not?”

“Hey, I didn’t say that. I know I’m stubborn, that’s why this argument is happening. And why I am about to do this.” Joel steps behind you, slipping the bill into the back pocket of your shorts. You groan, fishing it out and shoving it back in his hand, pushing at his chest.

Joel rebuttals with another attempt, stepping toward you but you step back, backing around to the other side of the counter as he follows closely. You hold your arms out to keep space between the two of you, not being able to hold back a laugh as you start to pick up the pace in your cyclical chase.

“Joel! I’m not taking your damn money, leave it!”

“Mariposa, please, we both know I am way more stubborn than you and m’not gonna stop unless you take it.”

Shaking your head, you turn around to actually move into a speedwalk-jog kind of walk around the kitchen, serpentining your steps.

“Darlin’, I can still catch you if you walk like that.”

“Well, I’d like to see you try.”

Joel takes that statement as a challenge, suddenly catching up with you and wrapping his arms to your front, slipping the bill in the waistband of your shorts before letting you go, putting his hands up in the air.

Wordlessly, you snatch the money from your bottoms, throw it on the counter, and go back to the pile of purchases on the counter. After all of that, you start to unload the drinks in the fridge and open the pantry to throw the sweets and other snacks on one of the shelves. Joel stands and watches you, eyes going back and forth between following your movements to all of the things lying out, including the money.

A feeling kicks up in your chest, tightening your insides with a wring. Small moments send you back to feelings like these, unsupported by actual occurrences but your brain doesn’t care about what actually happens; it prefers the what-ifs. What if this doesn’t last, what if you’re too young, what if you’re too anxious, too broken, too much and it all comes crumbling from under you before you fully realize it? What if this is one of those moments you look back on as a sign? It’s taut and consuming, begging you to say something about it to release the corkscrew.

“If this is too much or if I’m overstepping a — I don’t know — a parental boundary 'cause she’s not my kid, and I know that, of course, but I wanted to do this for Sarah. M’not the nanny that you have to reimburse anymore, I just thought it would be fun to make it like how my sleepovers used to be as a kid…”

Joel’s brows stitch together with what looks like confusion or concern, rounding the kitchen island and standing next to you. A hand on your hip closest to him presses into the flesh there, turning you toward him as the other hand reaches up to tilt your chin to him. Your eyes avoid his, embarrassment heating your body with licks of flames.

“Can you look at me? Please?” His voice is unwavering but shy, boyish. You answer with a flick of up, meeting his own stare. “Mari, sweetheart, this isn’t about anything like that. I know you aren’t ‘the nanny’ anymore, and if I’m being honest, I don’t think you were ever just ‘the nanny’ to either of us. I was being pigheaded, and I didn’t want you to take on doin’ all of this yourself. It’s jus’ automatic for me to want to cover for Sarah, with any sort of activity. Not that I don’t want you to do all of this. I can’t even begin to explain how much it means to me that you care so much for Sarah. I’m just, I’m being her dad. And not giving you the means to do things for her yourself. M’sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize, J. I should have better explained myself from the beginning. I want to be a part of your lives, I want to….I don’t know, I don’t want to take the place of her mom, obviously, but I want to be someone she can do girly things with if we’re gonna be together for a while—”

“Not if, Mari. I don’t plan on letting you go without a serious fight,” Joel’s thumb brushes against your cheek as he holds your gaze, “I am so grateful and so relieved that Sarah has someone like you in her life. ‘Specially right now with everything around her mom leavin’, you’re exactly what she needs. What we both need…I will take the money back. But next time we’re splitting it, and every time after that ‘til it’s time that it’s coming outta a joint account.”

When Sarah arrives home from her playdate, Joel retreats upstairs after ordering pizza for the two of you (and him, because he claimed he was gonna sneak down) to watch something on the small tv in his bedroom. You and Sarah changed into your new pajamas and got all of the snacks moved into the living room, trekking blankets and pillows and stuffed animals from her room and around the house to build a nest on the floor in front of the couch.

Sarah had chosen The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants out of the stack of movies you had rented, popping it in and sitting back with you while you had her pick out a color for her nails. The two of you talked about camp and the past school year, her confessing a crush she has on a boy in her camp group this year. There’s only a few details you get from her as you paint her nails, giggling with her when she gets shy and telling her about your first crush.

Sarah eventually is the one to paint your nails, turning out a bit messy and abstract during the process but nonetheless it was fun. As she’s finishing up a second coat on the last nail of yours, the doorbell rings for the pizza and Joel jogs downstairs a minute later to answer the door. Carrying the boxes over to the kitchen after he paid and tipped, he grins at you and nods to the set up.

“Is that every pillow in our house?”

“Well, no, you still have the ones on your bed cause you were sitting on ‘em,” you reply as you walk into the kitchen behind Sarah, fingers splayed apart, careful not to smudge. The younger Miller does the same, looking up at Joel when she stands next to the pizza box.

“Daddy, can you get the slices for me? I don’t want to mess up my nails that Posey painted for me. Look at them! They’re so pretty!” She raises her arms up to give Joel a look, his hand taking one of hers and inspecting it.

“Gosh, Bug, these are just gorgeous. Mari did a great job,” he grins at you, giving you a wink at the same time an idea pops into yours.

“I could do your nails, J. They could match Sarah’s!” Your suggestion is immediately supported by his daughter, her small stature jumping up and down in front of him.

“Yes, yes! You need to get your nails painted, Daddy!”

“Wasn’t this sleepover ‘no boys allowed’?” he arches a brow before he grabs a piece of pizza, plopping it on a plate for Sarah to take into the other room, “If I can stay for longer than it takes to paint my nails and hang out and eat your snacks, you can absolutely paint my nails.”

Sarah takes her plate from her dad, grinning ear-to-ear as she retreats back to the blanket nest. Joel makes a plate for you, carrying it out with his own and setting them on the coffee table. With a groan, he lowers himself to the ground, leaning his back against the couch and holding out his hands to you.

“Go for it, sweetheart.”

“D’you want the same thing as Sarah or something different?”

“Hmm, what d’you think, mija? Should we match?”

“I think you should give Daddy the color I gave you, Posey. It’s so pretty!” she leans back against you, using you as a backrest while she eats her pizza carefully with her wet nails, engrossed in the movie.

“Alright, guess it’s decided then. We’ll be matching,” you smile at him, taking one hand in yours to pull it closer, relaxing it against your thigh as you open the polish bottle. Concentrating on the tasks at hand, Joel wiggles his fingers when you aren’t in the midst of painting to get your attention, holding up a piece of pizza near your face.

“Eat, darlin’. Gotta fuel your artistic brain,” he winks and smiles sweetly at you, earning a quiet laugh before you lean in and take a bite chewing as you go back to painting. You switch hands after a few more bites, giving him a break to eat his own pizza and you yours while the three of you watch the movie. Once your job is done, you close the bottle tight and set it on the table, getting Sarah’s attention to look at it.

“How’d I do, Sare-Bear? Does your dad look pretty?” Her giggles pull some from all of you, nodding and clapping her hands together.

“Daddy, you need some of my pretty stickers and then Posey needs to take a picture with her camera.” Sarah stands and moves over to the pile of beauty supplies, grabbing the pack of nail stickers you bought and picking out a sheet. She sits next to Joel, stickering around his face as he closes his eyes and lets it all happen.

“Is this what happens all the time at girl sleepovers?” He peeks an eye open at you, getting a wide smile and shrug.

“Guess we’ll have to have some more for you to really find out.” Sarah steps back from her handiwork, and you pick up the Polaroid camera, lining up the shot from the side of Joel where there’s multiple star stickers clustered around his eyes. The shutter snaps when he looks at you, spitting out the image. You hand it to Sarah to watch it develop, showing you both quickly before going to hang it on the fridge along with a few other of your shots. You snap another of him looking at you directly, soft rounded eyes filled with affection.

Once you set the camera down, holding onto that photo for yourself, his hands find your thighs, running over the soft cotton of your PJ pants.

“Thank you for doin’ this for her, she hasn’t been this happy and giggly since before you left last summer.” Joel leans in, giving you a gentle, lingering kiss. “I love you. So, so much, Mari.”

Instead of answering, you give him another kiss before Sarah walks back in, settling between the two of you on the floor nest, cuddling up within your little unit of three to finish out the movie.

A few nights after your slumber party, you sneak over to Joel’s again before bed, using the key to the back door that he had made for you. He’s sitting on the couch, a line of sight to the door and a sleepy smile tugging at his lips when he sees you.

Padding your feet across the floors, you climb onto the couch next to him and curl your legs under you while you lean into his side. His arm wraps you up and his lips press against your forehead with a content sigh.

“Hi, Mari.”

“Hey, J.”

“How was your day, darlin’?” he asks as he turns off the TV, fingers ghosting up and down your bicep.

“Good, it was good. Babysat for the O’Connors today with the little baby. She’s so adorable, just a day full of baby giggles.” You grin and Joel smiles back at you, nodding along, “And then after that I drove to therapy and had that for an hour and then went home and waited to come see you.”

“M’very glad you’re here. Can’t sleep without you anymore,” he kisses your temple, “How was therapy, amor?”

“Today was a little hard. Talked more about maybe looking into medicine cause I feel like it isn’t fully there yet. But I do feel like I am happy. Like in my heart. My brain just can't keep up. Still have a lack of interest in things and not a lot of energy like I used to.”

Joel hums an acknowledgment, looking down at you on his shoulder, “M’here if you need to talk about anything, sweet girl.”

“I know. Thank you,” you give him a chaste kiss, smiling drowsily, “How was your day?”

“Pretty alright. Had to go fill in for someone who called in sick today at a job site so I’m exhausted from all the lifting and using machinery. But the framing is all done which means there’s something that looks like a house standing on the lot,” Joel chuckles softly and glances out the front window, “And then, uh, ran into your mom when I got home. She must’ve been running out for something but she stopped to talk and invited me and Sarah and Tommy to celebrate the Fourth with y’all.”

You sit up, grinning excitedly, “Really? Oh my gosh, that will be so fun. Our first official holiday together. Even though it’s just the Fourth of July. Kind of lame.”

Joel chuckles along with you, nodding his head and avoiding your eyes, “I mean, I told her yes ‘cause I didn’t think you’d mind. But the more I got to thinkin’, I guess, I just—I think I need some more time before we tell your parents about us.”

Your face falls before you can hide it, Joel’s hand immediately reaching to cup your cheek delicately, “M’sorry, sweet girl. I just don’t think it’s a good idea for us to do it at a family event and maybe it might be best if we can sit them down sometime to talk about it all.”

A slow nod keeps you quiet, in your thoughts, rambling out an agreement as you bring your eyes to Joel’s again, “Yeah, yeah, I understand. I agree. Would be best to wait a little while longer.”

“Thank you, darlin’. M’so glad you agree. We’ll find the right time, eventually,” Joel gives you a tender kiss, lingering against your lips for a few more dopey exchanges. He pulls away, standing up and gathering you up with him, leading you to his bedroom and getting into bed with you, “Night, Mariposa. Love you.”

“Night, J,” you reply meekly, the small sound of your voice easily brushed off as fatigue. Joel keeps you close, spooning you with his front against your chest, falling asleep behind you quickly. You can’t rest, especially after that short and decided conversation.

Why did you agree so easily? And why was he even asking for more time? His daughter knows, his brother knows, your friends know. What’s any different about your family? Is he afraid that if he breaks your heart he’ll have to move? But why would he even think about that possibility when all he’s told you is how much he loves you, how he’ll be yours until you want nothing to do with him anymore?

Every reassurance that he’s given you is flooding your mind, those doubts and fears worming their way into the sweet memories and poisoning them with twisted words.

Every time he’s said he loves you, does he mean it? Or is he only saying it to say it, to placate your anxieties about the future of you two by committing in a way?

Is this push back about telling your family a response to you not being ready to say ‘I love you’ back? Is he getting fed up with waiting for it?

Are you too much too quickly? Weaving yourself too tightly into his life and his daughter’s life? Is he going to start to drift, to put off telling your parents until he can end it?

These thoughts cycle in an endless loop, keeping you up while Joel sleeps soundly beside you. Nausea stirs in your stomach, rapid heart beating from the spiraling of your mind keeping you wide awake until the early hours of the morning.

The only way you can manage to fall asleep is turning in Joel’s arms, cuddling into his chest and breathing in his scent to halt the carousel of negativity in your brain long enough for his even breaths to lull you to sleep.

One last question flashes to you before you’re finally asleep:

What happens when Summer ends?

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