#< these are quite literally all dnd shows i know

[emiko-matsui]

god gives his bravest soldiers his hardest battles (being the only person that plays dnd correctly)

[consciouschunkofmoss]

sorry girlies for how unbearable ill be with the witcher once again. might go off-line

[hothammies]

will byers, the resident sniper and medic - apoc au details under the cut!

---

will's role in the party:

a scouter - stays back to watch over the area during runs w/his rifle and is a backup supply runner if need be. just prefers to scout with dustin and mike

medic - normally takes care of the group regarding injuries and medicine. is very gentle :)

the angel on mike's shoulder -> knows how to placate mike the best if mike's being unreasonable or too harsh

most knowledgable about the infection and how it works -> helps with understanding the patterns of infected people, what attracts infection, etc.

party mediator - rarely ever fights with anyone (mostly with mike haha) and is usually the person people most often go to for a vent or a rant

skills + hobbies:

best with a rifle + second best with guns! -> he practices a lot with lucas but refuses to kill animals

cook of the group along with el (taught her how to cook): rest of the party can make edible food but don't know how to make it taste good

great knowledge of plants and medicine -> jonathan and joyce taught him all they know about it (they are healers)

draws in a sketchbook that mike stole from another group for him: filled with mundane sketches from life and treats it like a daily journal

likes to collect cds and cassettes that he finds around to play in the car (him and max discuss music the most) - fave bands include system of a down, gorillaz, the clash and the cure :) he's an alt rock fan!

quirks / fun facts:

him and lucas have an ongoing competition that started with their aim and is now based on literally anything -> they've been keeping score since they were nine (lucas is currently up by ten and the points are in the thousands)

will shuffles different music in the car and observes who in the party likes what so he can make his own little mental playlists for them!

him and dustin talk a lot about how the infection works. they have some very intense debates about it, especially when it comes to if the infected still have human consciousness or not (will thinks they do, dustin thinks they don't)

--- other notes: canon will, in a short summary, is a very sweet, sensitive, empathetic and capable boy who consistently puts others needs before his own :') of course, i wanted apoc will to share those attributes, with a big emphasis on his empathy, strength, and kindness. first - i wanted him to be a medic to show how he cares about other people and how he helps the people he loves as well. it's shown a lot in the show how much he cares for people and living beings (see: his actions with dart, el, mike, feeling bad for jonathan's hand after he had just woken up, etc.) and him being a healer is very in tune with this behavior. will as a healer is very special to me :') and him learning this skill from his mom and his brother strengthens the theme of family also!

second - him being good with a hunting rifle was to showcase his quiet strength and capability (i'd also like to add that his dexterity on his dnd sheet is extremely high) -> he's a non-confrontational survivor. his strength shines from afar and is put on the backlight, but no one in the party thinks will is weak for his empathy. mike and lucas, in particular, are actually quite jealous of the fact that will is still able to see so much good in humanity and life while being so strong. of course, his connection to the upside down in st is mirrored in this au as well, where he has an innate understanding of how the infection works because of experience, observation and other story spoilers...

looking at the current poll results, it seems im going to be drawing lucas and max next :D see you for that!

[infiniteanalemma]

Nobility in Baldur's Gate

Edited to add: I never expected my silly, niche post to get as much attention as it has! I'm giving you all forehead smooches! 😚💋 I've gone through to clean up some things up as I've found new information. I also added a list of nobility that I've found in game and other sources to the end of the post. Thanks, y'all! I'm glad I'm not the only one to wonder about this stuff. Good stuff in the reblogs, too!

Baldur's Gate has dug itself deep in my brain, so I apologize to my poor mutuals who didn't follow me for BG3 content getting this onslaught of posts. Please bear with me until my hyperfixation wears off. 🙏

Now, I'll admit up front that I'm no expert in DnD lore*, so if I get things wrong, please feel free to correct me or just add in stuff I may have missed. I'm going off of what I've found in-game and my Google Fu skills.

That said, I do know enough about DnD to remember that Baldur's Gate nobility are called patriars, and that there are only a relative handful of actual patriar families. I was thinking about my "canon" Tav, Velassa, and her background in BG3. She's a modified OC that I plunked in-game during Early Access, so I made her a noble. It was just part of her existing character that I didn't think too deeply about. It was only after I starting playing that it occurred to me to wonder what exactly "a noble" is to a native Baldurian.

That got me digging a little more into the current state of the Baldurian nobility as of BG3. I don't know who--if anyone--needs or wants this, but I put this together for myself and decided to share it for anyone else who might be interested. I realize that this is probably pretty niche and it's rambly and long af, so I'll put it under a cut.

So, for starters, here's a list of all the patriar families, including "fallen" houses that are barely hanging on: Belt, Bormul, Caldwell, Dlusker, Durinbold, Eltan, Eomane, Exeltis, Gist, Guthmere, Hhune, Hlath, Hullhollyn, Irlentree, Jannath, Jhasso, Linnacker, Miyar, Nurthammas, Oathoon, Oberon, Portyr, Provoss, Ravenshade, Rillyn, Sashenstar, Shattershield, Silvershield, Tillerturn, Vammas, Vannath, Vanthampur, and Whitburn

From what I've gathered, Exeltis, Provoss and Ravenshade are all more-or-less destitute. Also, the Szarr family (Cazador's family) were patriars, but were believed to be entirely wiped out. No living descendants makes them a dead house, rather literally. 😏 (No, I'm not sorry.)

Now, we learn that Wyll's father is Ulder Ravengard, the Grand Duke. This brings us to the first point: There are four Dukes, known as the Council of Four, and the Grand Duke's job is to be the tie-breaker.

Traditionally, one of the Dukes is also the highest ranked officer of the Flaming Fist--that's Ravengard, who was a Fist promoted up through the ranks. Wyll tells us that his father was born lower class, and quite a few of the patriars seem to scorn him for that. The other Dukes are Belynne Stelmane, Dillard Portyr (more on him later) and Thalamra Vanthampur (more on her later, too). Of the four, two are patriars: Portyr and Vanthampur. We don't know much about Stelmane's past, except that she was a brilliant businesswoman, politician and--as we find out later--member of the Knights of the Shield. Apparently, you can't buy your way into the patriars, but maybe you can buy your way into being a Duke.

Skipping ahead a bit, when the player shows up to Gortash's coronation, there are a group of mostly patriars sitting in the boxes leading up to the front of the room. I'm listing them by seating arrangement, with box 1 and 2 being the left and right closest to Gortash, and 3 and 4 being farthest. (I don't know what, if anything, the seating arrangements imply. The second box has eight people, compared to four for all the rest.)

Lady Ailis Belt, Baron Callem Bormul, Lord Rugger Shattershield**, and Lady Alia Durinbold**

Lady Ruth Linnacker, Lord Sarken Eomane, Lady Freida Oberon, Lord Raylen Jannath, Lord Myer Ravenshade**, Lady Madeline Whitburn, Lady Beatrice Provoss, and Duke Dillard Portyr

Lady Winstra Hullhollyn, Admiral Peil Hullhollyn, Lord Randolph Vammas, and Lady Eshvelt Guthmere

Lord Milon Tillerturn, Lady Silifrey Sashenstar, Lord Petric Amber**, and Lady Haeril Birch**

Here's some pictures of the nobles sitting together. (Sorry for the terrible quality! I slapped it together for my own reference. 🙈)

The characters marked by ** aren't human, which is interesting because the information I found said all the patriar familes are human except the Shattershields. Myer Ravenshade is listed as human if you examine him, but he has a dwarf model. That might be a mistake, but I'm including him anyway. Alia Durinbold, from a presumably human patriar family, is a wood elf. Again, this could be a mistake, but unless Larian winds up changing it, it could mean that interracial marriages that once may have been looked down on are now becoming more acceptable. Petric Amber is also a wood elf, and Haeril Birch is a high elf.

Those last two are interesting because they are the only ones in the boxes who aren't patriars. If not for them, I'd have assumed the coronation was simply a demonstration for the patriars alone. Their inclusion means this is something else.

Digging around, my conclusion is that all the listed people are members of the Parliament of Peers--a 50 person advisory party to the Council of Four. However, what I found says that it's pretty rare for all 50 to attend meetings, and the usual group is between 20-30. There are exactly 20 named individuals listed, plus a group of unnamed "patriars" standing at the front.

Here they are, for what it's worth:

One thing I noticed here is that most of those listed here are Lord/Lady, but there are three other titles: Duke, Baron and Admiral. I've already talked about the Dukes. Looking into the patriars, the Hullhollyn family are notable for having a fleet of ships, so it makes sense that one of them would be an Admiral. That leaves the Baron.

I couldn't find anything about what it means to be a baron in Baldur's Gate. Going on real-world peerages, a baron/ess is generally the lowest "rank" of nobility. Basically, it's someone who was an official landowner (usually of an "important" bit of land) under the feudal system. Well and good, I suppose, but presumably all the Lords and Ladies of the patriars own land within the city. This particular Baron is also a patriar, but given that one doesn't need to be a patriar to become a Duke (normally a higher peer than a baron), that may not mean anything.

(Apparently, the term "Duke" was originally meant somewhat jokingly. That said, it still carries the weight of a title even if not the conventional one.) We don't see any other titles between Duke and Baron, so what does that mean?

This isn't canon, but my assumption is that it means the Baron owns important land outside of the city. This would make sense for Baron Bormul, given that the Bormul family apparently have investments in silver mines and vineyards. Assuming they own the mines/vineyards, that may make those lands "important" enough to the city for their owner to earn a title. Alternately, the Bormul family also has counterparts in Amn, so maybe baron is an Amnian title that got passed along. That's getting a bit far afield for me, though. 🤷‍♀️

Anyway, among the group at the coronation, pretty much everyone supports Gortash becoming Archduke, with the exception of Lady Sashenstar (an old woman who really isn't too impressed with this commoner) and Duke Portyr, who expresses some hesitation at the whole thing.

Duke Portyr is interesting here. Except for Ravengard (who is thralled and conducting the ceremony), Portyr is the only Duke present. Now, Stelmane is already dead, so that explains her absence. Vanthampur is also missing, which is interesting. Portyr first, though: he was Grand Duke before Ravengard. He's the one who re-instituted (Edited: and originally created!) the Parliament of Peers to make the day-to-day decisions of running the city, and ceded the title of Grand Duke to Ravengard. He's described as being conflict-averse, so it makes sense that he'd go along with Gortash's coronation, even though he's clearly unhappy about it. Also, the current leader of the Fists is also a Portyr, likely still Liara Portyr, the Duke's niece and Ravengard's second-in-command.

Thalamra Vanthampur is an interesting character, too. She's the head of the Vanthampur family, and part of the Descent into Avernus story. Apparently, she's the one who got Ravengard to go to Elturel before it sank to the Hells, intending to take his place as Grand Duke. From what I read, she also conspired with the Dead Three's cults to murder people in a bid to discredit the Flaming Fist. (The murdery bits were undoubtedly left to Bhaal's cult.) We never do find out anything about Thalamra Vanthampur in this game (I assume that's probably cut content). (Edited: She is mentioned in one of the in-game texts as having been killed, which was one of the possible outcomes of Descent into Avernus. Larian chose that as their canon, just like the fate of Elturel and Zariel.)

The only Vanthampur we do meet is Carnelia Vanthampur, who is in the Guildhall and describes herself as "a peer of the Parliament". She's willing to work with either the Guild or the Zhentarim. Nervously of course. Also interesting is that, on the Bloodstained Parchment hit list, is a Varri Vanthampur, whose gravestone you can find in Candulhallow's Tombstones shop, reading: "Varri Vanthampur. Unwanted in life, welcomed in death."

Interesting, hm?

Also on that hit list is Fridrik Hhune. The Hhunes apparently have links to the Knights of the Shield, from what I looked up--the same group the Emperor led with Stelmane. The only Hhunes we meet in-game are Blaise and Gheris Hhune, two of the werewolves in Cazador's ballroom who are brothers according to the dev notes. With them is another werewolf of a different patriar family, Duver Rillyn. This suggests Cazador has been going after members of patriar families, which sort of fits with what we know about his plans. We really don't find anything else out about them except that they consider Cazador to be their master and Astarion says they're new.

We also can talk to a Flaming Fist who mentions that Hurlbut Hhune is the father of Henrietta Hhune, who used to be secretly engaged to the Fist in question, only for her father to decide to arrange her to marry fellow patriar Derque Rillyn, who the Fist describes as "a major arsehole."

That conversation is interesting for a few reasons. For one, it tells you that arranged marriages within the patriar are a thing. Also, this Fist is a Manip (essentially a Sergeant) who can't ask the other Fists for help because "the Fists don't mess with wealthy patriars, they've got the Watch to back them up." That's aligned with what Devella can also tell you: "There are patriars on the murder target list. I'm oathbound to secure them first, so I'll be heading to the Upper City next." If you say that the Fist should protect everyone: "Not from around here, are you? We're in Baldur's Gate - this is just how things work."

This brings me back to my original issue: what is a Baldurian noble? The patriars are canonically nobles, of course, and they're undoubtedly seen as the "most important" of the nobility. From there, it's not much of a stretch to say that anyone who has earned the title of Duke is now a noble, even if they aren't patriars. I'd go so far as to say anyone on the Parliament of Peers (and their family by association) is a noble^, given that non-patriars Petric Amber and Haeril Birch are considered Lord and Lady. The information I found about that is that there are approximately twelve non-patriar members. If Amber and Birch are two of them, that leaves another unnamed 10.

^Edited: Looking at the dates, I realized that the Parliament of Peers is a very recent change to Baldurian governance. Duke Portyr originally created it after the three other Dukes on the Council of Four were assassinated. It was clearly meant as a temporary measure, but my guess is that the patriars liked having more official say. Not to mention the non-patriars who managed to get a seat. This has all happened within even the youngest of Tav/Urges' lifetimes.

Personally, I'd also assume that branch families of the patriars probably also count as nobility. By branch family, I mean those that marry out of the main line but whose ancestry stems from a patriar family. From what I've seen by naming conventions, Baldur's Gate seems to use patronmyic lineage--ancestry is generally passed to the sons, and wives take their husband's surname. So, if a daughter marries out of the family, she'd no longer be a part of her father's family lineage, but still would be considered nobility. These branch families likely still maintain powerful influence and connections from marrying into wealth, which would make them a good political/financial choice of marriage alliance, despite no longer having the main branch patriar family name. These families are also probably the ones most likely to find a place on the Parliament, too, but likely have to jockey for position if their "representative" dies (or otherwise leaves) and a new opening in the Parliament is created.

If you've read this far, as a treat you can have some crappy close-up portraits of the nobles at Gortash's coronation, grouped together in their respective boxes. 😚

* For what it's worth, I'd count myself as a casual DnD player. I have some knowledge of DnD--I've played BG1 and 2, Planescape: Torment, along with some general cultural osmosis. I've had friends who played the tabletop version, but for one reason or another, I've never played it myself.

[idonthaveanyurlideas]

How The Fuck Do Classes At Aguefort Work

AKA Brennan gave me a number of students for this school and I am going to use my expert knowledge of being a teacher in real life to extrapolate things

(disclaimer: i am australian and thus my knowledge is limited to the australian school system of how things are arranged, number of students in each class, etc. this is basically how I would organise aguefort if it were up to me)

SO

aguefort has approximately 500 students split across four year levels, making for about 125 per year level, which you could easily split into 5 'homeroom' classes of about 25 students each. Or 31-32 if you wanted to squish them into 4.

But the thing is, we have all the DND Classes to think about, with each class having its own dedicated teacher and specialist class. There are 12 standard dnd subclasses, plus we know that artificer is also an option, making 13.

It's unlikely that any particular year level has all of its students evenly split between those classes (it would be an average of 9-10 per class if they did, which is quite small for a single class, but not unheard of for (using a real life example) elective subjects like business or design tech)

ADDITIONALLY, we do know that 'regular' classes exist at aguefort, like history and home ec, so I'm assuming other typical subjects like maths, english, science (perhaps broken down into chem/bio/physics, maybe not), maybe PE as well for students that aren't part of one of the martial classes, among other things.

Most likely, the school day is arranged so that each student (assuming this student has a typical workload, AKA nothing absolutely bonkers like what the bad kids are doing in junior year) has at least one Class-Specific class per day, and then some general education ones as well, and then perhaps some more adventuring-focused classes like survival + archery or arcana.

That way each class-specific teacher should be able to fit one lesson with each year level a day, because those classes are probably considered far more important than like. Modern History.

DND-Class classes are likely much smaller and more individualised, and then general ed classes would be with a far bigger group.

I also think Aguefort has a lot of composite classes! Particularly for the less popular Dnd-Classes. Freshman+Sophomores together and then Juniors+Seniors together is probably the most common.

I think sorcery classes are often composites, partly because its one that students Literally have to be born to be able to do, so its not one that other students can multiclass Into, so its numbers probably fluctuate a bunch depending on the cohort.

More technical classes like artificer are probably also composites! Simply because I bet they're less popular than things like Fighters, Rogues, so on.

Bards are also absolutely composites, because they are already split within themselves with multiple teachers depending on the students particular focus (like we did with a separate Music class and Dance class with different bard teachers). So I wouldn't be surprised if some bard classes contain freshmen, sophomores, juniors and seniors all within the one class and still only have like, ten students total because they're that specialised.

I think combined classes also probably happen on a fairly regular basis. Esp if like, teachers call in sick. The fighters will go join the barbarians for a day, or the clerics will join the paladins.

And then of course they don't actually give a shit if you show up to your classes or not so theres probably some poor admin staff out there who painstakingly arranges every schedule at the start of each semester and then 80% of students ignore half of it anyway

[chirpsythismorning]

Fun fact: the shot of Mike stepping off the cliff in s1 was likely a visual parallel to Sarah jumping off the stairs in this shot from Labyrinth (1986).

For those that haven't read this theory, please do because I didn’t make these observations myself and the original post goes a lot deeper into the details from Labyrinth, which in some ways align a little too conveniently with the narrative we’re seeing unravel on the show with Mike over the seasons.

For some basic context, in s4, we even get a reference to M.C. Escher’s Relativity hanging on the wall in Mike’s room, which is also on the wall of Sarah’s bedroom, along with that work being what inspired the scene in Labyrinth. 

This next part has actually been talked about before quite a bit in the fandom, even outside of tumblr, so it’s not exactly some breakthrough as a concept on its own.

Every season, in the first scene (re)introducing the main characters, Mike is running late in some capacity. In 1x01 it’s around 3 minutes, in 2x01 it’s around 6 minutes, in 3x01 it’s around 8 minutes, and in 4x01 it’s around 13 minutes. 

So technically not the literal season opener, as that’s usually reserved to a flashback at some different location, but obviously still within those first 15 minutes, following directly after the opener…

And since we already have an idea of what the opening of s5 is going to be, what do we think the scene directly after it is going to be? You know, in the scene that Mike has been consistently running late in, for four seasons now?

Speaking of 15 minutes, I think that if they were to keep this trend going for the final season (the full circle-ness of it all is honestly too epic to pass up), it’s likely that this final time it will happen around the 15 minute mark of 5x01, as that would make the build up for it each season pretty consistent.

And not only that, but it would also literally be a callback to what Karen says to Mike that first time he’s late in s1: 

And here’s my other favorite line from one of these scenes, in the context of this theory, because it literally acknowledges this concept directly and with this air of foreshadowing I cannot stress enough:

Interestingly, another detail that ties all these ‘Mike being late’ scenes together, is stairs.

In s1 he’s running up the stairs to convince his mom to let them keep playing.

In s2 he’s rushing down the stairs trying to avoid Nancy’s wrath.

In s3 he’s awkwardly bumping into strangers going down the escalator in Starcourt Mall.

And in s4 he’s hurrying down the stairs on his way to school.

The whole point of Labyrinth is that it’s an allegory for growing up, with Sarah going from dressing up as a princess to reenact one of her favorite fairytales after being chastised by her step-mom for not going on more dates like girls her age, to Sarah rejecting her childhood and it leading to an unfortunate series of events, forcing her to face reality and take responsibility of her own life.

Does this sound like anyone we know?

Mike, who starts the show in s1 playing DND animatedly with his friends before being interrupted by his mom to end the campaign despite protests, to his mom in s2 punishing his bad behavior by having him get rid of some of his favorite toys, to him in s3 insisting that they’re 'not kids anymore' and that it was inevitable for them to stop playing games and grow up and get girlfriends, to him now in s4 reverting back to this earlier version of himself, sporting the Hellfire shirt proudly, to then reverting back to pretending when showing up at the airport with Argyle calling his outfit a shitty knock off (aka calling Mike a shitty knock-off), and without the story ever acknowledging why those shifts happened in the first place, and with one season left?

Hint? Forced conformity. That’s what’s killing the kids. That’s the real monster.

They literally told us already that out of all the monster we've seen in the show, this is what is worse than all of that. Meaning that what is about to go down, most likely topping everything we've seen up to this point, is likely going to involve forced conformity.

I also think it’s interesting that the scene in Labyrinth happened during the climax of the film, because arguably if you were to watch Stranger Things in its entirety, from s1-5, the beginning of s5 is going to feel very much like the climax to the overall story. 

Things are going to be happening fast. The stakes are insane because they need to top everything that they’ve done up to this point. Something’s gotta give. And Mike is just not looking safe out here guys.

I could go on and on about all the hints that Mike is danger, but I’ll just share my favorites. 

How am I gonna survive a whole week without you guys? Mike says, at the tail end of his opening scene in s4, and with s5 set to start at the end of said week.

Mike sitting in front of an antique funeral home fan in the s4 promotional pictures of the party in the Creel attic.

Nancy saying she saw Mike die in the vision Vecna showed her, with the early stages of said vision coming true as season 4 nears its end.

Mike getting hit in the head with an arrow front and center by Suzie’s brother, in a sequence that was loaded with foreshadowing for the end of s4 (and beginning of s5?).

Watch out dominos. Your dominos are gonna fall. Argyle says, with Mike equally in the frame behind him.

Without heart, we’d all fall apart. Will says, after telling Mike he’s the heart.

A Karen lookalike standing in front of the missing person's board at the end of s4.

Mike’s very first line in the show (also the literal first line in the show) being A shadow grows on the wall behind you, swallowing you into the darkness. It is almost here…

So maybe, theoretically speaking, what we could get by that 15 minute mark going into s5, is Mike running late one last time, and it potentially being a callback to that cliff scene ie. Labyrinth.

Another scene that I think might've been foreshadowing what is currently going down, is Max and Mike both getting knocked out by Billy at the end of s3. Max goes down first and Mike follows right after, though Max is the first to come to and help them both up.

We know Max is unlikely to be separated from the rest of the characters the whole season, that’s just not feasible. She'll at least be on-screen despite maybe not being back with the others right away, even if it’s just a cryptic cliffhanger at the end of 5x01, followed by her returning more consistently on screen after that leading up to her rescue. With the way things ended in s4 though, we need to know where she’s at and get to finding her. Which is why I think at most it will be a 1-2 episode arc.

So maybe, this moment from s3 was a hint about Max and Mike’s impending doom at the hands of Vecna, as a result of not only their emotional states, but also their bonds with El, and them then being isolated for a short time (presumed dead), only to find their way back?

It’s also worth noting Mike was the only person to witness any of Max’s symptoms from the curse prior to her finding out about it, with the camera focusing on him beside her and looking at her worriedly as her nose bled. We don’t know who Vecna’s fourth victim was going to be, because Max threw herself in as bait, but could it have originally been Mike?

I know a lot of people don't like the Mike getting Vecna'd theories or Mike is depressed takes and so if you find yourself in that position, feel free to subtweet away or whatever you need to cope with my nonsense.

I'm not a big Mike is suicidal truther or anything even, nor do I think it makes sense for him to get Vecna'd in the traditional sense like how it happened with the others in s4 because the gates are open. But Vecna still hasn’t carried out his entire plan, a plan that includes Mike dying. And the imagery surrounding it all leading up to this is compelling regardless.

If one shot at the end of s3, with Max sitting in Billy's room while Hopper was in the background saying and yeah sometimes it's painful and sometimes it's sad was enough to hint at her whole depression arc in s4, then Mike being focused on for multiple shots while Hopper was in the background saying But, lately, I guess I've been feeling... distant from you. Like you're pulling away from me or something.-- And I guess, if I'm being really honest, that's what scares me. I don't want things to change, with Mike looking longingly at the Byers house, cutting to Will looking out the car window crying, then cutting back to Mike walking into his mom's arms with a dead stare on his face, has gotta be enough to justify dude going through some shit, which coincidentally matches up with everything talked about here.

Turns out getting to Mike, now that was the key…

Maybe the first episode of s5 is about Mike ending up wherever Max is, somewhere caught in between, and them ‘crawling’ back ie. The Crawl.

Definitely might add some context to that funkopop shot-listing video Ross posted, followed by one other photo a few days later with the caption being that they finished shot-listing for 5x01-5x02. Meaning the initial video posted was likely from 5x01...

[alpaca-clouds]

Dungeons & Dragons - Or: Why Capitalism Sucks at Making Money

If this past year managed anything, it managed to get me really into DnD. Before I did not play DnD much, rather going with Shadowrun or (heavily homebrewed) World of Darkness. But with first Honor Among Thieves releasing - and then Baldur's Gate 3 giving me brainworms tadpoles... Yeah, hurray. New hyperfixation unlocked.

But as I started to read through all the lore, but also meta stuff happening around it. And yes, I quickly understood why basically everyone was frustrated with Hasbro and Wizards of the Coast. But I also think, that this betrays one of the big issues with capitalist logic and how it often fails to reach an audience - for the reason I outlined before: capitalists are actually super bad at realizing what works and why, because they only judge based on spread sheets.

And yes, the headline is hyperbolic. But let me explain.

A Community-Based Game

I mean, the biggest scandal of DnD this year was probably the entire thing about the community license. And this is very much something that shows quite well, how bad WotC is at recognizing why DnD works and has worked so long.

DnD centrally has been build around this idea of community. Now, mind you: This community was very, very focused on cis white guys for the longest time, but everybody else just managed to get in there and make their own little bit of community. Which also lead to a lot of homebrew stuff, that at times tackled some issues that the rules themselves did not address at all or not well. The combat wheelchair is probably the best known example of this.

But even outside of marginalized communities... DnD always thrived through the community aspect itself. People self-publishing magazines and adventures for it since the fucking 70s. As well as play sets, dice and what-have-you. DnD was always very much about all this and thrived through it. And now in came WotC saying: "Oh, yeah, actually you will now have to give us a big cut. (The big irony was, how Unity made the same move later on.) The fandom outcry was obviously big, there was a boycot, it worked. And WotC went all:

Of course they basically won the world competition in backpaddling (though again, Unity was a big contender this year as well) and quickly went back on this. But of course there is a problem: When your entire product is so much build around community and your community starts mistrusting you, you got a problem.

And this is basically what happened.

The Audience Problem

There is another problem of course. Financially the DnD movie failed - and I actually think this says a lot about how WotC kinda misunderstands the audience.

Now, there will be people trying to tell you, that given that the movie had great reviews and stuff. But the movie had a production budget of 150 million USD and only earned a bit more than 200 million on worldwide box office. Given that the marketing budget was likely around 30 million, the movie barely broke even.

Of course, part of the reason for it was that it just had a bad release date. It released parallel to the Super Mario movie, which ended up being one of the most successful movies of this year.

A friend of mine could not believe that the movie had financially flopped. They were like: "What the hell? Literally everyone I know who watched the movie went to cinema like three times to see it again." But... Yeah, that is true. But the issue is that these people are a very certain group.

Because lets make one thing clear: The people, who adored the movie so much, that they went to the cinema several times and bought the DVD/BluRay on release... were mostly queer nerds. Because this is the group of people who this movie spoke to.

And let's make this clear: I love the movie for this. I love that it so clearly went for this audience. Because I am part of this audience - and I adore this film.

But basically the movie has a general issue in terms of audience. Because on one hand the movie is too nerdy to have a wider audience appeal of people who had never played DnD, while on the other hand the movie was kinda not nerdy enough to go full force for the nerd audience.

A lot of people in the fandom have instantly sussed out one thing about the movie: "Why doesn't Edgin cast any spells? And why do we see so little of the weirder species?" And part of the reason undoubtedly was budget related. But the other reason is that... well, it is currently a well accepted wisdom in media production that you cannot sell a high-magic story. At least not outside of animated media.

Hence... There is surprisingly little magic being cast in this. And we also do have a mostly human main cast - or why Doric is the most classically pretty tiefling you have seen with her human skin tone and all of that. Because media productions do not trust the audience to accept high magic concepts.

Who is DnD actually for?

Okay, let me talk a bit about DnD 5e - and a good decision, and a bad decision. And how that affected DnD.

Everyone, who is somewhat into DnD probably knows that 5e massively changed the game. With one simple goal: Make it more accessible. Which manifested in several ways.

For one, the game was in some ways made less offensive. Because prior to 5e there was a ton of racism, sexism, queerphobia and ableism inherent to the game rules and times to the game lore. This is just a fact. Things like species that are inherently evil and stuff like that - and also some of the real-life racial coding inherent to some of the species. Removing all that stuff is a good thing. Like amazingly good.

And also, they made the rules a lot more accessible. Before the rules were bogged down with a lot of stuff, that was simplified or removed. Again, this is a good thing.

And this worked. It worked really well. Of course, this was also partly due to stuff like Critical Role and other actual plays like that happening and promoting the game. The player base probably increased ten-fold from what it was before.

Yes, it should also be noted that there is probably a good topic for a study on how formerly nerd-thingies became more and more mainstream during the last 10 years or so, but yes, DnD was one of those things.

But in this there was also a rather bad decision made, which ironically also mirrors what happened with Marvel. And this decision is: Because we want to reach a wider audience, every single thing we release for this has to reach the widest audience possible - rather than allowing that certain things might have a more specific audience.

I am sorry to talk about the MCU here, but it is just such a perfect example of this: The MCU basically made two mistakes. Overwhelming their audience with too many releases. But also not allowing the movies to be for a certain audience, but for the broadest audience possible. A good example is how they dealt with the minority-lead movies. They got directors and at times even writers from that minority - but then basically did not allow them to be too specific and be too critical of, for example, a racist system because that might not go over too well with white mainstream audiences.

Now, WotC did not really do anything like that. But they also went with this idea that everything they officially released should have the broadest possible appeal. Hence the weirdly low-magic approach to the movie, of which I assume that it definitely was an executive decision made.

The fact that the movie resonated so much with the queers more than anyone else was also not intended - at least not from the production company. Like, let's be honest. No, Xenk and Ed were not supposed to be read as romantic. And how appealing the found family trope was, probably was not intented at least on the side of Hasbro (not sure about screenwriters and director).

The Lore Problem

This perfectly connects to one of the big issues that all the franchises going for a broad appeal after being very nerd-focused for so long, run into: The Lore Problem. And this is quite ironic, because I ran into the problem earlier this year as well.

See, as I was writing fanfics for DnD:HAT I quickly ran into the problem that I knew next to nothing about the world of Faerûn. Sure, once upon a time (like between 2007 and 2011, while I was living in Austria with my then-boyfriend, who really was into those games) I played the old games of Neverwinter Nights and Baldur's Gate 1 + 2. But let's be frank: I barely remember shit from those games. And getting to understand what actually happened in the lore between and after... Well, there is just a ton of lore. I mean, people are playing around with this world for literal decades. So, yeah. This can very much be overwhelming for someone getting into it anew. Like, where can someone new even start?

The fact that - at least partly for legal reasons - most of the Actual Plays also do not work with the official lore, rather just using the rules to create their own worlds, obviously adds to this. Even the tables I played on so far always preferred original worlds, because the lore of DnD is just very intimidating.

The one thing that actuall ended up getting me into the lore was BG3, because it left open just the right questions to go into the Forgotten Realms wiki and just look for stuff, before also starting to listen to lore podcasts.

But here is the thing: WotC is also not helping with this issue. Like, they absolutel could create a proper accessible compendium on DnDBeyond that would just allow people to get an overview of the world and the timeline of things happening, maybe go into some of the major factions of the world and such. I mean, heck, they really, really want you to use DnD-Beyond rather than roll20. Yet, in DnD-Beyond I do not even have a monster compendium without paying, which roll20 offers.

Like, sure, WotC, it is okay to lock up the adventure modules behind a paywall, no problem. But if you do give me even the most basic tools to run a campaign, I am gonna use roll20, thank you very much.

But yeah, what WotC should make just more accessible was just: Timeline, important places and the maps (heck, make them interactive, you have the fucking money), maybe also a proper list of the pantheons and factions within the world. Heck, add maybe some inspiration there for what players might want to do within one of the scenarios and then, under this, go and link "hey, we made this one adventure about this, if you are interested!"

Something I did not realize originally was how much freedom the lore still leaves the people. Like, often even the important settings and events are just set-ups for adventures that the characters can have in there. There might be a few novels or comics then, that go into an example of a thing certain established characters like Drizzt or Elminster did during the time, but there is a ton of freedom to explore.

But by basically locking everything up behind a paywall, you will never get people even interested in this kinda stuff.

Because here is the thing: I like my lore. I love lore. I adore lore. But... Without BG3 explaining some stuff and giving me specific questions to ask about it, the lore would have been very inaccessible to me.

Just think of people as... people

Of course among it all there lies the central problem that comes with capitalism running something like this. See, whatever CEOs and shareholders are sitting on those chairs with WotC and Hasbro, they do not see the players as players or the community as a community, but as consumers. Just as they see their employees not as valued constributors, but very exchangable wage slaves.

They do not see the value of the community exchange with stuff like fanmade modules and things. While incorporating a bit of homebrew stuff in DnD Beyond, they are absolutely not interested in the wider market of people just creatively interacting with DnD and making a little bit of money from it. If anything they see those people as potential rivals on the market.

Heck, they have issues seeing things like Critical Role or Roll20 as the enrichment for the franchise that either are - but more like potential rivaling forces and money they have lost.

And their employees? Yeah, as we learned... Most people who from the side of WotC helped the Larian team with BG3 have been let go by now. Because WotC and Hasbro do not care for their employees, they only care about having some numbers going up.

I fully admit it. Apart from Buying BG3 and the money I have invested in anything DnD:HAT related, the only money that WotC got from me, was some of the novels I bought on Audible.

But here is the thing: WotC is doing a shite job at wanting me to invest into any of their stuff. Partly because those modules I would like to have are not available anywhere anyway - and partly because... As I said, give me a reason to get something, rather than just expecting me to randomly get something.

And mind you, this is no slight against any of the people just working for WotC. This is mostly about shareholder and executive decisions made. Stuff that basically just sees either their employers or the players just as a ressource to exploit, rather than... people.

[kennahjune]

PART 4 of S3 STEDDIE

Hop on board cause I’m making no promises of this being the last part

Tag list: @viridianphtalo @thisisallicouldthinkof @thatonebirthstone @swiftielouie55 @luthienstormblessed @spilled-jar @just-a-tiny-void @marklee-blackmore @stevesbipanic

…

True to his word, Eddie showed up to the shop around 10 with the Jeff and Gareth. And someone Steve didn’t quite know.

Steve chuckled as he watched the kids crowd him, all of them talking a mile a minute. Steve had informed them happily about Eddie’s DND background the previous night, and Lucas, Mike and Will were quick to jump on board.

El came to stand next to him behind the counter, quickly taking the open stool left behind there for employees.

“Too loud for you?”

El nodded.

“Yeah.” Steve chuckled. “They get like that. It’s pretty sweet, actually.”

El nodded.

Steve ruffled her hair and stepped out of the store to gather the shitheads.

“Hey, hey!” Steve clapped his hands. “Inside all of you! Let the guys in before you hound them!”

Will and Lucas both scurried inside, eager to hear more about DND and the weird shit that goes down in the trailer park. Steve huffed and looked pointedly at Max and Mike, who were loitering.

“You both to. Inside.”

They huffed and rolled their eyes, but made no arguments the second time around.

The guys walked in to, Steve moving out of their way as they all waved friendly hellos.

Eddie stayed by the door with Steve, both basking in silence and the chatter from inside the store.

Steve turned to Eddie. “Hey, uh, I get off of here at 2, and I have to drop the kids off, but um— I was wondering if you wanted to maybe come by afterwards?” Steve refused to look Eddie in the eye and anywhere in the face for that matter. His gaze remained on the floor of Scoops Ahoy while he picked at his bottom lip. He really needed some new chapstick.

Eddie bumped shoulders with him and Steve rocked with the hit. “Totally, Stevie. Why don’t you come by to mine, huh? I can even pick you up at 3?”

Steve did look at him this time, his eyes shining and picking up the nervous grin and bashful blush. Steve grinned merrily and held back a squeal and a clap. “Sure! Of course— totally, that works, uh— 3 then?”

“You got it sweetheart. I’ll see you at the 3.”

And with that, Eddie called the guys over and they all left. Steve finally let out that squeal and clap.

“Steve are you going on a date with Eddie!?”

Oh man.

…

“Eddie are you going on a date with Steve!?”

Oh man.

“No, Gare-bear. We’re just hanging out at the trailer later.” Eddie denied and denied. He snatched Gareth’s paper bowl of ice cream and took a bite. Gareth huffed and crossed his arms, mumbling about him owing 3 dollars.

“‘Not a date’ he says, and yet Harrington had him twirling his hair and smiling like a middle school girl,” Jeff taunted, giving Gareth his own ice cream to make up for his new lack.

Gareth took the ice cream with a grin and thanks.

“Shut it. I was not twirling my hair.” He so was. Still is, actually.

Brian scoffed. “Dude, get over yourself. You’re clearly into him— and from the looks of it he’s into you! What’s so wrong with saying that?”

Eddie frowned and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Cause I kind of wanted him to be an asshole.”

Jeff raised and eyebrow, stealing a bite of Brian’s ice cream.

“Like—“ Eddie waved a hand in the air. “—he was an asshole in high school, but also, not really? He never actually did anything to anyone. Barely even laughed. He was just bitchy, now that I look back on it. And I guess there was some part of me that wanted him to be an asshole so that I didn’t seem like a dick for hating him.”

“But you don’t hate him.” Gareth pointed out with his ice cream spoon.

Eddie scoffed and flailed his arms to turn around. “Yeah well— I don’t know!”

“You literally just asked him on a date?” criticized Brian.

“It’s not a date! We’re literally just hanging out!” Eddie continued walking backwards out of the mall.

“Yeah,” Jeff rolled his eyes. “You guys are ‘hanging out’ but he’s coming to your place at 3 and just the mere idea of it has you not only red in the face but so flustered you trip.”

“What?” Eddie asked incredulously. “I didn’t tri—“

He tripped over a curb in the sidewalk.

Gareth spit out his ice cream laughing at him. At least it didn’t get on Eddie this time.

Whatever.

It wasn’t a date.

…

It wasn’t a date.

But Steve was getting ready for it like it was.

Max and Mike were on his bed. Neither really wanted to go home and decided to stick at Steve’s for a bit longer. Steve let them, but he called Jonathan over beforehand to keep an eye on them. It got him an eye roll from both of them but it was whatever.

Mike and Max were sifting through the shirts he’d pulled out from his closet.

“You don’t have anything.. I dunno, darker?” asked Max.

Mike scoffed. “Don’t even. Eddie’s clearly into the pastel shit Steve wears.”

“I don’t see why.”

“Yeah well not everyone wants to look like a walking traffic cone.”

Max threw a polo at his face.

“Do you have any of those sweaters you used to wear with Nancy?” Asked Mike.

“What about that light blue one Nancy got you for Christmas last year?” Asked Jonathan from the bedroom doorway. They all jumped at the sudden intrusion.

“Christ, Byers!” screamed Mike.

“Don’t ‘Byers’ me, Wheeler. I’ll take your crayons.”

Mike stuck his tongue out.

“I don’t have the sweater right now, it needs washed.” Steve answered. He’d gotten batter on it when he was baking with Joyce and El a while back.

Mike bypassed him and looked through his closet. Steve let him. He knew he’d be missing a couple of button ups later (they all stole each others clothes one way or another) but it was whatever.

Jonathan joined Max on the bed.

“What about these jeans?” Jonathan held up a pair of light wash blue jeans that Steve still fit from junior year. Well— “fit” was putting it lightly. They squeezed around his ass and thighs a lot more than they used to. But maybe that was what he needed tonight.

“Yeah, those work.”

“These to!” Steve barely caught the shirts— plural— that were thrown at him from Mike. The first was one of his many white tank tops. He threw it on without much thought and examined the second shirt. This one was one of his more rare shirts; a short sleeve, light brown, flannel button up.

“Put it on, doffus.” Mike waved his hand at him in a scarily similar way to Erica. Steve wondered briefly if Erica got it from Mike or if Mike got it from Erica.

Steve put the shirt on and buttoned only the bottom button. He tucked it in the jeans very loosely.

It was oddly perfect.

“Now go change! Maybe I can do your eyeliner!” Max shoved him away.

Steve scoffed. There was no way he was letting her do his eyeliner.

.

Steve let her do his eyeliner.

It was painful. Max poked him in the eye with the pen at least 3 times and he kept having to remind himself that he couldn’t rub at his eyes unless he wanted to ruin it and go looking like a raccoon.

It was a pretty subtle touch, actually. Max and Mike made sure to keep it light while Jonathan watched from his desk chair. Mike even let Max do his eyeliner. The eyeliner brought just enough attention to his eyes but also distracted from his ungodly eye bags. He needed to buy some more concealer soon. Max offered hers but they aren’t the same shade.

Jonathan even convinced him to put in his diamond studs. Which sent Max and Mike into a frenzy about his ears being pierced. He’d gotten them done as a baby because his mom wanted them done but his dad refused to let him wear earrings.

Mike whined about wanting his ears pierced for a while.

In the end, Steve was happy with his new look.

Max and Mike stared at him, examining.

“I love it.”

“It suits you, oddly enough.”

“Happy to please.” Steve gave a dorky bow. Max and Mike scoffed.

“You look amazing, Steve. Before you go I do want a picture though.” Jonathan held up his camera.

“A picture? What for?”

“You’re first date with a guy, duh!” Yelled Max. Mike snickered.

Steve flushed. But in the end he let Jonathan take the picture.

That was when the doorbell rang.

…

It wasn’t a date.

But of course Eddie was treating it like one.

Which is why he sat with Gareth, Brian and Jeff in his room, rifling through his drawers for something half-decent while they tried their bests to pick up the absolute wreck of a room.

“Dude I promise he’ll like you in anything you wear. Seriously.” Reassured Jeff.

“I know I know! But I want a shirt that’s at least clean!” Exclaimed Eddie over the racket of Metallica playing from his radio.

Gareth and Brian shared a look.

“Eddie. Park your ass.” Gareth demanded.

Eddie opened his mouth.

“Park your ass right the fuck now.” Gareth snapped his fingers and pointed to the bed. Eddie huffed and sat like a dog. Gareth was scary when he was mad.

“Now listen. You’re fine. You have like half an hour before you have to pick him up. All you really need is a shirt and a pair of jeans that don’t smell odd.” Gareth went to take Eddie place rifling through his dresser. “Boom.”

The jeans he threw at Eddie were black (like all his jeans) and had rips in the knees. The shirt was a simple, white, used-to-be-t-shirt with the sleeves cut off and the entire thing cropped to just above his bellybutton. Not to mention all the holes in it from getting caught in fences and just deciding to take scissors to it one day. The black Metallica symbol was well faded with time and love.

Eddie deemed it good enough and changed quickly.

“Now.” Gareth clapped his hands. “Put your hair up in a bun, get it off your neck. But not a high bun, just right behind your head. Hang on lemme—“

Eddie, Jeff and Brian let Gareth do his thing. Surprise surprise; Gareth had actually been on his fair share of dates. A lot more than the rest of them anyway. And whatever the hell he was doing seemed to be working so fuck it.

Putting his hair up showed off where Eddie had pierced his ears all the way up, and the multiple studs and hoops going through the holes. Honestly it was refreshing getting his hair off his ears— strands kept getting caught in his earrings.

Jeff grabbed Eddie’s jewelry box from his dresser and sat down with it on his bed. Eddie stood in front of him while he attached chains to his belt loops for him.

Brian helped him clip a couple of silver necklaces and chains on as well and Gareth convinced him to put in his earrings and piercing. And soon enough Eddie was a menace to metal detectors around the world.

And right on time to.

Eddie rushed to put on his extremely worn out converse before running out the door with the other guys.

Gareth was dropped off first, then Brian. Then it was just Jeff and Eddie in the van while he drove.

“You’re gonna do great, man.” Jeff reassured. Eddie sighed.

“I know. I know that— but it’s like. Seriously nerve racking. Like I’ve been on little to no dates in my life but hanging out with Steve Harrington? Jeez.”

“Why are you so nervous? Make a move tonight! Ask him out for real this time man. I’m like 100% sure he’ll say yes.”

“Yeah but asking out Steve is like asking out a single mother. You don’t only have to lover her but the kids as well.”

“Those twerps?”

“Those ‘twerps’ were the subject of several of our conversations yesterday because of how much Steve loves them. I haven’t even met all of them apparently!”

Jeff laughed just as Eddie pulled up to his house. “You do you man. All I’m saying is make a damn move. Cause if you don’t, I will.”

Jeff got out of the car cackling while Eddie yelled at him from the drivers seat.

…

Steve opened the door and nearly fell over in astonishment.

Holy shit?

“Holy shit?”

Eddie grinned down at him. “‘Holy shit’ what, Harrington?”

“I— you— um. Uh.”

“Jesus, this is pathetic, Steve!” Mike yelled from the couch.

Steve hushed him harshly over his shoulder. He turned back to Eddie so quickly his bangs hit him in the face. “Sorry! Sorry. Mike and Max insisted on staying over for a bit. Come inside for a moment? I still have to grab a few things.” he smiled nervously and apologetically.

Eddie smiled back and accepted the invite in.

Steve is proud to say he only panicked a little. The back of his neck was moist with nerves and his hands were starting to get cold but he hasn’t burst into tears yet so he’ll consider it a win.

And honestly— with how Eddie showed up looking?— that’s such a fucking win.

God Steve wanted to to bite him.

Eddie made himself comfortable in the living room with Max and Mike while Steve dragged Jonathan upstairs to his room.

He closed the door maybe a little too loud but it’s fine. It’s whatever. What’s not whatever is the current impending breakdown over everything finally settling in.

“Steve. Sit down.”

He sat on the floor.

“That works.”

Jonathan sat right next to him and gathered him in his arms. “You’re ok. You looks amazing. Those jeans do wonders for your ass. I’m sure he thinks you look fucking fantastic. You’ve got this.”

And for a while that was how it went. Jonathan whispering small reassurances until Steve felt himself-enough to finally go back out there.

“God he looks so /good/, Jonathan! I wanna fucking bite him!” Steve put his head in his hands.

Jonathan smirked. “Save that for at least the third date, Steve.”

Steve groaned.

There was an insistent knocking on his bedroom door.

“If Steve’s done freaking out I think you guys should go soon!” yelled Mike from the other side.

Steve quickly stood with an uttered curse. The moment he walked back into the living room Eddie’s eyes seemed to lock on him.

Steve gulped.

…

Eddie gulped.

‘Holy shit’ was right.

Steve looked… he doesn’t even know. Ethereal? Divine? Like a fucking meal?

God Eddie wanted him.

And— Jesus Christ— was that eyeliner?

Steve Harrington was going to be the death of him. “Eddie Munson, 1965-1985, killed by the prettiest boy to ever walk this fucking Earth.”

Jesus H. Christ.

Steve invited him in and Eddie accepted. A smooth feeling of proudness and self-confidence flowing through him at the stuttered responses from Steve. Guess the guys were right. Though he’d never admit that to them.

The moment Steve closed the door behind him he was bounding off with Jonathan upstairs. Eddie tried not to think too much into /that/.

“He’s nervous.”

Eddie looked at Max.

“Nervous?”

“Hella. We’re talking 3 breakdowns and a panic attack nervous.” Confirmed Mike. “Dustin’s gonna be so pissed he missed Steve’s first date with a guy.”

Max snickered at that.

Eddie sputtered. “It isn’t—“

“—a date. Well I call bullshit. If you like Steve you take him out and you make him feel good, you hear me?” Max threatened.

Eddie put his hands up in surrender. “Nothing but the best for Stevie.”

Mike eyed him. The kid was actually kind of scary.

“You hurt him and I blow your fucking brains out.”

Jesus H. Christ. Steve Harrington control your kids.

Eddie sat on the other side of the living room from them.

When Mike went to go gather Steve and Jonathan after an impending 10 minutes, Eddie sat in momentary silence with Max.

“Mike means good. He’s a jackass but he’s been through some of the most with Steve.”

Eddie looked her in the eyes. “I promise on my weed stash and swear on my mothers grave that if hurt him neither of you will get a chance to fulfill your threats before I dig my own grave.”

Max snorted at that. Just as Steve came back, to.

Eddie’s eyes locked on him immediately, greedily drinking in the beautiful curve of waist and those plush thighs squeezed nicely by his jeans.

Eddie stood and gave a two-finger salute to Jonathan and waved off the kids. He and Steve were stepping out in no time.

“So— hang on. Are we gonna take my car or your van?” Steve asked Eddie once they’d stepped off the porch.

“Uhhhh,” Eddie hesitated for a second. “My van? And I can drop you off afterward.”

Steve nodded. “Okay. Okay cool.”

“Cool.”

They got in the van.

Steve demanded control over the music, claiming to refuse to listen to “that bullshit” the entire way (it was only a 10 minute drive, tops), but Eddie let him have it. Although he complained immediately about the Wham! Steve had put in. Steve dismissed him jokingly and sang along quietly to Careless Whisper.

Eddie chuckled and watched him out of the corner of his eye. It was quite the scene; Steve Harrington in his van, singing to Wham! while tapping on his thighs.

Eddie focused on the road.

…

Eddie pulled up to the trailer at the tail end of Killer Queen by, well, Queen.

Steve forced him to stay in the car until the end. Eddie found it stupidly endearing.

When they did finally leave the car for the trailer, Eddie remembered Wayne being home. He waved at the old man sitting in the recliner. Steve followed his example and waved as well.

“Hello, sir.”

Wayne clicked his tongue. “Don’t use that ‘sir’ bullshit on me, boy. I ain’t your daddy.”

“Oh! Sorry, Mr. Munson.”

“No—“

“C’mon, Stevie.” Eddie smirked.

Steve looked confused between Eddie and Wayne, before apologizing once more to Wayne and hurrying to follow Eddie to his room.

His room.

Steve held back a squeak. He was going to Eddie’s room! Oh man. He might pass out. Is he gonna pass out? Gosh that’d be embarrassing.

Eddie sat on the bed and patted next to him. Steve sat as well, but kept to the edge of the bed.

“Sorry, totally forgot Wayne didn’t have work for another hour.” Eddie rubbed the back of his neck.

Steve shrugged. He didn’t mind, really.

“So? What does the amazing Hair do in his free time?” Eddie’s asked, leaning his head in his propped hands and smirking at Steve.

“The amazing Hair carts around like 7 kids in his free time.”

Eddie snorted something ugly and Steve laughed at the noise.

.

Talking to Steve was easy.

Eddie never thought he’d find this kind of relaxation outside of his Corroded Coffin guys yet here he was, lighting up with Steve Harrington of all people while they traded banter like old friends.

It was one hell of a time.

Eddie’s regretful to say that they seemingly spent a good hour talking about other people instead of theirselves.

Steve waxed poetry on his kids, even as he gave each one a good hearted insult right along with the praise.

“Dustin’s a menace. The tone that boy has! I mean— sure he’s smart and a good kid but Jesus Christ someone needs to knock him down a notch!”

Eddie snorted, a plume of smoke coming out of his nose with it.

“And Mike can be downright insufferable sometimes. Don’t get me started on when he gangs up with Max. They’re fucking brutal.”

Steve was laying on his back on Eddie’s bed, his legs bent at the knees and were squished between himself and the wall. Eddie was right beside him, so close Steve’s head was practically in his lap.

He wouldn’t mind Steve’s head in his lap.

Shit— he wouldn’t mind his head in Steve’s lap. Eddie’s head, cushioned on those divine thighs? Mark him down as eager and horny.

Anyway.

Wayne popped in some time later, sending them both a goodbye. Much to Steve’s cute confusion.

“Why’d he say bye to me to?” He looked up at Eddie with wide eyes.

Eddie gave into an impulsive urge and booped his nose. He snickered when Steve went cross eyed watching the movement. His nose wrinkled adorably.

Steve Harrington was a sweetheart when high.

“Cause you’re here, ain’t ya? It’d be rude to not say bye.” Eddie shrugged taking a drag and passing the blunt to Steve. Steve took it with gentle fingers.

They blew out at the same time accidentally and it sent Steve into a fit of giggles.

He was an absolute sweetheart and Eddie was determined to get every cute reaction he could out of him.

They smoked for a few minutes longer, the blunt finally reaching the end and Eddie putting it out. Steve had moved to sit at the edge of the bed, his left leg crossed under his right. He was chewing at his nails again, staring into space.

Eddie sat next to him, and when Steve didn’t give any sign of acknowledgement Eddie finally reached over and grabbed his hand. He forced Steve to stop chewing on his already ragged nails by interlacing their fingers and his rubbing his thumb over his knuckles.

Steve sighed and leaned into Eddie’s shoulder, eventually dropping his head onto said shoulder and digging his forehead in as if trying to bury himself.

Eddie would let him.

“I haven’t relaxed like this since sophomore year,” Steve informed quietly.

Eddie hummed. “I think that’s when you first started buying from me, right?”

Steve snickered. “Yeah. And then I made Tommy do it for me.”

“Why, did I scare you?” Eddie teased.

“Something like that,” was the mumbled response.

Eddie hummed. “Well I shouldn’t. I’d never hurt a fly. In fact— flies kind of scare me.”

Steve snorted and giggled into his shoulder.

“It’s true, ok? Don’t laugh jackass! Flies are creepy little fuckers.”

“No, no.” Steve laughed quietly, his hands gripping Eddie’s arm weakly. “You didn’t scare me, per se—“

“‘Per se?’” Eddie mocked.

“Shush! —per se,” Steve continued pointedly. Eddie laughed. “You just— intimidated me?”

“Are you asking me?”

“You’re kind of an ass, you know that?”

“So I’ve been told.” Eddie snickered.

Steve rolled his eyes, but the grin on his face erased all doubts in Eddie’s mind.

“You’re a cool guy, you know that Steve?”

Steve looked up at Eddie, his eyes impossibly wide. It was cute, how his nose scrunched up and his eyebrows furrowed. How his pretty, pink lips parted with a sharp exhale. Eddie smiled.

“And you’re an oddball, Eddie.”

Eddie’s shoulders shook with the laugh that barreled out of him.

…

I’m so sorry this took so long to get out 😭

Writers block hit like a motherfucker after writing their outfits lmao. Lemme know if you wanna be tagged!! Part 5 should actually be the last part :)

[paradise-and-cola]

[Image description: three character profile cards for the Monster of the Week tabletop game system. Each card has a drawing of the character, their first name, their class name, their stats, and some descriptions. The last names are redacted with black ink strikes.

Card 1 shows Pause, of the Mundane class. Pause wears a short sleeved red shirt with blue highlights, beige shorts, as well as a red, white and blue bracelet. He has square glasses, and two small feathers are tucked behind his ear.

Pause’s stats are: Charm +2, Cool +1, Sharp +1, Tough 0 and Weird -1. His description reads:

- works a regular 9 to 5

- had a completely supernatural-free life until a woodland cryptid collided with his car

- now travels with Beef and Etho, solving paranormal mysteries all around Canada

- the designated driver

- is the only one in the group who can pass as a "normal" person. don't let appearances fool you, though, he's just as unhinged as the other two

End of card 1.

Card 2 shows ?????? (six question marks) also known as Etho, of the Monstrous class. Etho wears a green jacket over a grey shirt, grey jeans, black boots, as well as a headband and a scarf over the lower part of his face. The jacket has patches of the Canadian flag, the meme rabies pride flag, and a simplified cryptic creature. There is purple skin discoloration on the left side of his face and his left hand. In his right hand, Etho is holding a wrench.

Etho’s stats are: Charm 0, Cool -1, Sharp +2, Tough -1 and Weird +3. His description reads:

- a literal cryptid from the Canadian wilderness. normally a shapeshifter, Etho's been stuck with this half-human, half-monster appearance ever since Pause hit him with his car

- is weirdly good at car maintenance and engineering in general

- needs to feed on blood to survive. Beef, being a butcher, provides him with enough animal blood to sustain him for now... but ultimately, human blood is a much tastier snack

- immune to garlic, silver bullets etc, but is badly allergic to carbonated drinks

End of card 2.

Card 3 shows Beef, of the Flake class. Beef wears a blue baseball cap, a light brown coat, a black shirt, grey pants and black boots.

Beef’s stats are: Charm 0, Cool +1, Sharp +2, Tough 0 and Weird +1. His description reads:

- a butcher by day, a wannabe paranormal investigator by night

- (he's not very good at either)

- knows a lot about the supernatural in theory, but had little field experience - until an old friend called him about hitting something not quite human

- the others live with him for now, since Pause is from out of town and Etho never had a home to begin with

End of card 3. End description]

Here they are, the three heroes of the Monster of the Week Team Canada AU!  I’ve never played the game myself, but I think these three would make a pretty fun monster-hunting, mystery-solving team. I briefly considered making Beef an Expert class, but if you’ve consumed any Team Canada content, it makes it very hard to call them experts on anything...

This is technically for @shepscapades’ hermit redesign challenge, but I’ve deviated from the original prompt quite a bit (the prompt was DND characters and I’ve boldly chosen a different TTRPG system) so I don’t know if I even qualify for this week. Regardless, I’m very happy with this AU. Check out this little introductory comic I’ve made for it, if you haven’t yet.

[elijasz]

I've always really enjoyed watching critical role. But now that I'm up to date I'm watching on twitch and that means I see the chat...Half of you guys would get kicked out of normal dnd groups. Or honestly just normal friendships. complaining about backtracking, complaining about missed rules or just rules-lawyering in general, complaining that your favourite character doesn't deserve anything bad happening to them...I know you're committed but this is a show made to tell an interesting story. The rules are always, and truely always, up to the DM. That's one of the FIRST RULES you get in the official books. If Matt wanted to use none of the rules at all, then he could do that. That's entirely up to the style of the group.

Critical role uses DnD as a narrative tool to tell a story together and share it with an audience. If you're not in it for the narrative, this show simply isn't for you. There are other shows that do that. Go watch those.

Within 2 minutes I've read so many "xyz is op!", "thats not how that stupid spell works", "isn't this spell concentration?", "omg these are both concentration spells, so stupid" messages in the chat. I've read "This is annoying me so hard" and similar trash. You're not obligated to watch this piece of media if it isn't for you. Move on. Just watch something else. You're quite literally annoying af and are the reason people feel self-conscious about performing in a STORY. There is zero necessity for your comments. Nothing will change because you complain. You're only ruining it for other people because of your own personal opinions on a game people play and are kind enough to perform for us.

Imaging if you went to a theater performance and screamed any personal opinions about the play at the stage. You'd get kicked out for that. And you PAY for theater performances. Critical role is free (mostly).

Anyway, the community is toxic and I will not be looking at the comments/chat again.

[laurasbailey]

hey, sorry to come out of nowhere with this, feel free to ignore! just wanted to get a bit of perspective on the c3 negativity i've been seeing for so long, which i've tried and failed to avoid and has been bumming me out more than i would like. this is my first campaign, it has brought me so much joy and company, but every time i end up reading a deeply negative take i can't really shake off the feeling that they're actually right, cause some of it makes sense to me and i can't unsee that. i know i'm being paranoid about it and truly setting myself up to be miserable and ruin the whole thing, which at this point i might've already done, but i just get sad wishing i could've had experienced the things everyone raves about (like different pacing and a lot of RP) for this campaign, which i'm so close to. do you think c3 is actually, objectively, worse or shallower than the previous ones? is there truth to the criticism (about it being too plot-driven, about the characters making each other worse and not being a good fit for this story, about the cast not being as into it and so on) or is the internet being the internet, and i should basically touch grass? it's not like i would drop it, honestly, i'm just sad thinking about how this story and these characters could've worked out if the "quality" was the one i keep seeing everyone talk about in regards to c1/c2. i know it's not that deep and it shouldn't matter in the long run, i'm just struggling a bit to not give in to the negativity and wanted to get your take on it, as someone's who's navigated this fandom longer! and again, truly sorry for the unprompted rant and thanks in general for being cool and taking the time to make gifs and recaps :)

you said it's brought you joy and company and it's seeing the negativity that's starting to ruin it, which is, honestly and sadly, a common thing that happens in online fandoms. negativity will bring the mood down regardless, because it just spirals into further misery. personally i stopped looking at fandom opinions and i've been a lot happier ever since! half the stuff you've said in here i've never heard before, that's how off the grid i am now lmao.

to answer your question, no, i don't think c3 is necessarily "worse" because, while people are entitled to their opinion, i think that's such a lazy, basic ass way of looking at it. also i just don't think a dnd game with people who are storytellers for a living can be shallow unless that's their goal, quite frankly. are there aspects of c3 i dislike? of course! but the same is true for all campaigns. there were parts of c2 i thought were very weak, despite the entire internet praising it like the second coming of jesus. there are things i think c3 does better than c2, even. and there are things c1 does better than both c2 and c3, and so on.

do i like that most of the campaign has been bells hells vs. a ticking clock? not really, it does mean certain sacrifices are made. do certain characters get on my last nerve? absolutely (but that's not exclusive to c3 lmao). at the same time though, i get the three women front and centre of the main plot, which has never happened before. i get a laura/marisha character romance after watching them have great chemistry for years. i get c1-level stakes and fantastic female npcs/villains, which c2 was mostly lacking. i get ashley full time (!!!) coming out of her shell and being her best and most chaotic self. and i get SO MUCH of the c1 characters? i'm fucking spoiled if you ask me.

maybe some of the criticism is very real and warranted (again, haven't seen it and don't plan to) but at the end of the day, this isn't my game of dnd or yours or any of the viewers'. we are literally watching other people play an improv game where they're crying one minute and making dick jokes the next, you just have to be along for the ride. going into the campaign with certain expectations is really silly and critiquing it the way you would a tv show just doesn't work. also unless these people are friends with the cast and speaking to them irl, how could they possibly know they aren't enjoying it as much like be serious 💀

i'm gonna be so honest here: idk if the people who are constantly spouting negativity are just miserable, but they sure look it! also stupid! why? because normal people who hate something simply ✨ stop watching and move on ✨. sure, hatewatching can be fun if you and your friends are in someone's living room or discord call shooting the shit, but doing it online day after day after day? honestly i just feel sorry for those people. happy people do not spend their time throwing essays worth of negativity up for the big wide world to see! how do i know this? because i was that person in my teens and i was severely unlikeable!

if you've enjoyed something without the bias of someone else's opinion, then you've enjoyed it! but your opinion can also change as the campaign goes, that can also be true! i would be interested to hear the reasons you loved it initially, because i think you'll find that most of that core stuff is present in all three campaigns.

the recent plot of c3 has been more stressful than any plot in previous campaigns, so understandably people have big feelings. my advice: the block button is your friend but so is the follow button! criticism is healthy, find people who deliver it in a way that's not some whiny entitled baby. letting someone else's opinion influence yours will never make you happy.

[autisticempathydaemon]

Hi hiii!! :DDD Doing this bad boy to see what happens. >:333

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why? Rule 34 and Dinner and Diatribes. I don't know. Something about the just barely masked tension in both those songs, the way they both fit so well with characters/ships/dynamics I adore, and their general energy and instrumentation SINGS to me. <3 <3 <3. I may not listen to them as often as others but they are my entire brain constantly. Favourite lines from both are: "You look so good There on your knees Such a good girl knows how to please Look at me look me in the eyes Forget yourself, surrender your mind" - Rule 34 (Mostly for the visuals and the change of voice) And "I knew it from the first look of The look of mischief in your eyes" - Dinner and Diatribes (This line sets the tone of the entire song so well, the visual is so interesting and the way it's sung is so intimate in a way I cannot describe. Literally so good.)

What is your Enneagram type? 4w5 :3.

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why? I fucking love them so bad <3. I think currently the Lightlark and Nightbane ones by KrimsonRogue are really good. Just... so much content, and also writing advice, and also dying inside listening to a review of a cringe book. Literally sustains my life.

Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend. I didn't really have them in the traditional sense, but the closest things I had was imagining chatting with or interacting with characters I liked from shows, especially once I found visual novels XD. And that evolved into characters running around in my brain and now I am a writer. :P So. These bitches clawed their way into my head at age 10 and never left.

What is your go-to way to fall asleep? Rain sounds. Storm sounds. Wind sounds. Especially if they just come from outside but I also do just put them on on my computer and turn off the screen often, letting them play on the stereo. :P

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?) Names are fucking weird man. I am currently in the process of reconsidering mine, and I am starting to like the idea of something more wacky, and star themed, or snow themed. :P I don't know if I'd like it long term but Redacted and DnD have very much warmed me up to names like that lol.

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why? Why must I chose one? You're so mean. Uuuuum... Deferred Judgment methinks. It shows a lot of Vega's softness and even some selflessness, while also a bit of the risk that his mission entails and MAN- THE EMOTIONAL IMPACT WHEN IT CAME OUT WAS SO MUCH. I hated it way back when but damn... it was really good. Still is. Cannot wait to see him again. Miss him real bad.

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.) Um... Guy, Ollie, NICK. OH GODS NOT NICK. And most of the fooliverse boys besides Milo. I am not exactly the type for sweet boys. I like some of them but their chaos or overt sweetness is... too much.

Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to. Can't say I have gotten that obsessed with media like that sadly. I am more of a Podcast/ASMR/Audioplay/Music person buuuut... hm... I mean- does a book I'm writing count??? I have quite a bit of the words of that thing up in the noggin often. It's not done yet but :P.

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend? Oh man. Damien. He is super similar to me in his passion and his love of learning and his general personality (minus the anger, that I am less prone to.) And the other boys up on top of my list I am more queerplatonic about so. :P

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.) Oh no I will ramble about anything at any time. <3 <3 <3. I am not well ever <3.

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo. Spicy or Soup chips (Salt and Vineger, Chili/Cheese, etc), often Doritos or Cheetos (or Hickery Sticks if they have them), and either mineral water or an orange Soda/Slushy. And if it's cold I often go chips, sour candy and hot cocoa <3.

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment.  Hozier's Unheard and Wasteland Baby. Both have songs I utterly adore.

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why? None. I feel guilty about nothing that I consume <3 <3 <3.

And whatever else you think tells me about who you are! I am a lover of art and the arts, and am actually studying art currently for my major. I would consider myself very much Vampiric in some ways (My disconnect in the way I write/speak from a specific time period or place, humanity is familiar but also fucking weird, the sun burns, I'm dramatic and want the fashion to prove it, blood good (no I won't explain) etc.), and I am a weird philosophical bastard who likes to make characters out of vague concepts, and then explore them to their most painful depth. Also varied morality and/or moral quandaries are very important to me. Morality is a weird soup and I like to play with it. (Ironic since my own morals are so strict and fixed, and yet I love writing characters who have different ones.) Aka Evil Bitches Good. And also I am one of them (if only as a writer. Love writing cruel angst to hurt my friends and characters with <3 <3 <3.) Anyhow that's all for me for now. <3 <3 <3 (Hope this is not too obscenely long.)

Pssssst- .3. Hellooo- I submmited a matchup thing but I think I did an oopsie XD. I'm an Enneagram 5w4 but I think I flipped them. So- just saying that. If it changes anything lol- My baddd- I just noticed when thinking on it. :P

Hmm, this enneagram type is characterized as creative, intelligent, and stubborn, with something to prove to the world- which tracks as you relate to Damien. With that in mind, who else could I pair you with but Huxley?

Huxley is a kind, patient, go with the flow kind of guy but not too silly which you said you don’t vibe with. You give me the impression of an insular, cerebral person, someone with a lot of ideas and thoughts that need to be finalized and put on paper, and Huxley seems like a good partner to help with that, to be your rock (ha) and help you keep those trains of thought on track while also being vocally supportive and hyping up your work the whole time. He’s sweet to you but not so sweet he doesn’t love you and your love of villains and their fucked-up deeds.

And it’s a wonderful love Huxley gives you every day, with the sturdy support and cool shade of a great tree. When you’re studying or doing schoolwork, he’s always there bringing you water or food, massaging your shoulders if you’ve been slouching. He listens to your rambles with rapt attention and affection, retaining every detail. He is your beta reader and biggest fan. He drives you to and from school with a thermos of homemade hot chocolate because his leagues is better than the store-bought stuff, and he won’t let you forget it.

Song:

And I remember being younger and my mother told me the truth/ Find someone who grows flowers in the darkest parts of you/ Take heed when things get hard and don't you ever turn around/ You'll find someone, someday, somewhere that grows you to the clouds

I feel like this song choice needs no explanation. One, the vibes are kind of just right if you’re a Hozier fan; the folk-y, country-like longing is just what the matchmaker prescribed (the matchmaker being me). Two, it’s delightfully charming and ironic given your dislike of the sun and the pet name of Sunflower I will soon have him give you.

Runner-ups:

Cam is a fun runner-up for you because I think he, as a therapist, would have a lot to contribute to your writing and dissection of villains along with the empathy to see the depth and dimension you want to give them. Lasko is another runner-up I like given how much you relate to Damien, because Damien/Lasko has always struck me as a darling pair, two sides of the same coin.

Bonus: (For you, my one hundredth match-up~)

“Sunflower…”

“Fifteen more minutes, Hux; I’ve almost figured this out.”

“You said that forty-five minutes ago, baby,” Huxley says with a soft, warm laugh and big, warmer hands on your shoulders, gently turning your chair around. “It’s time for bed.”

“But my chapter-“ you say with a tone you won’t admit has a hint of a whine.

“Will be there tomorrow,” he interrupts, taking your hand and gently tugging you out of your chair against your weak protests. “And you’ll be able to write and edit it even better once you’ve slept.” You fall into the bed with a fwump, a deep sigh, and a muttered stream of thought falling out your lips like the air out of a balloon. The earth elemental can pick out odd, familiar words in the ramble like “heart”, “stars”, and “Vega” and chuckles as the stream peters off into slow breaths and soft snores. Huxley queues up a familiar YouTube video on the tv, a ten hour loop of light rain showers, and places a blanket over your sprawled, sleeping body.

“Good night, Sunflower,” he says softly, pressing a light kiss on the top of your head before climbing into bed beside you, turning off the light with a fond, content smile.

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[petcheeatah]

you losers are so miserable it’s becoming UNBEARABLE

it’s like they watched the show eyes closed ears covered WHERE has media comprehension and analysis gone.

he didn’t sell drugs to any kids chrissy is literally an 18 year old. y’all are straight up just babying teen girls because ain’t nobody called out the basketball team for giving lucas enough alcohol to make him throw up. (also side note: 1, eddie very clearly does not ever sell ketamine which is why they had to go to his trailer, and even then he struggled to find it. weed is not bad either i can’t believe we’re having this discussion in 2022 still. 2, ket is literally an antidepressant, unlike weed which isn’t reliable enough to help depression)

nobody thought he was weird because he was friends with 14-15 year olds it’s cuz he likes metal and plays dnd like did you watch the show AT ALL. he was quite literally only friends with the freshman because he was the only person in the ENTIRE SCHOOL to be nice to them and they were APART of his CLUB.

also no one gets mad at steve for being BEST FRIENDS with dustin even though he an eddie are the same age. and eddie doesn’t even hang out with the kids outside of school, he barely even trusted dustin when he first found him in the boathouse.

it’s almost as if the whole character message was “don’t judge people before you get to know them”.

[barbwillbrb]

what’s mortimer’s backstory i think i missed the post about that

To be honest I am still hammering out some of the details for him/his daughter for BG3 (straight up, this game has been my first foray into DnD stuffs, so I'm still picking up the lore/trying to make sure my character ideas can work for this world, so everything is still a bit under construction). I've been tagging my thoughts with him as tav: mortimer on my blog.

Mortimer/Lucille reference sketches and headcanons

Mortimer scar/casual wear reference and more headcanons

Possible end-game ideas for Mortimer/Lucille

Some Mortimer history and how he and Lucille would handle specific scenarios in game.

Basic facts/timeline for him is as follows:

Mortimer's human, age 42 currently, and is the only child of a messy affair/sham marriage between his father (a nobleman) and mother (his father's bodyguard/assassin). The two fought tooth and nail, and separated while he was young; he was primarily raised by servants, namely his dad's primary butler, and spent a lot of time by himself when not in their company.

He showed magical talent at a fairly young age, and from his late teens/mid twenties was formally studying magic under an apprenticeship. He was considered extremely quiet/aloof, and likely came off a bit of an obnoxious snob/know it all if you did speak to him back then (he was less interested in socializing/people and more interested in examining practical uses of magic for everyday, more layman applications. He was namely interested in maximizing the potentials of cantrips and playing around with rules/constraints for smaller level spells).

At age 25, Mortimer left his apprenticeship (for what he thought was a brief time, maybe three weeks) to accept an arranged marriage set by up his father. It was not a surprise, but something he knew was coming/proposed for a few year. Unfortunately, he was left unaware of the fact the family he was marrying into was tied to the cult of Bhaal. After leaving his apprenticeship, he disappears from public view and spends the next few years imprisoned/affiliated with the cult.

Mortimer just exists/does what he needs to do to survive, accepting his place in the cult. At 26, Lucille is born (she is a traditional Bhaalspawn, not Durge). She is a particularly violent child who starts showing signs of Wild Magic sorcery while she's a toddler, so she quite literally burns through her caretakers. She is markedly calm/soothed in Mortimer's presence, however.

At 30, Mortimer gets a chance to flee from the cult and escapes with Lucille. The following two years are fraught, spent on the run-- while he knows how to fight/kill/maim/poison from his time at the cult, he can't call on his magic successfully/spells just don't come when called and he can't cast anything beyond a fucking cantrip. So he does something very desperate and very stupid (but when you feel you've already damned your soul already, what's a little more sin?). Mortimer seeks out a creature he met during his time with the cult (and this mind you is where I am really muddling my way through shit): an alhoon (mindflayer seeking lichdom). The relationship with his patron is both parasitic and symbiotic-- he regularly kills/kidnaps people to assist in extending his patron's life, seeks out/steals information dealing in necromancy, and allows his patron to use him essentially as a test subject. Calling on higher level spells/magics physically alters him; parts of his body have become swallowed in swirling, thick shadows beneath his skin.

He was in Baldur's Gate trying to get information on the Necromancy of Thay and investigate his patron's concerns revolving renewed cult involvement when he was captured on the Nautiloid.

[mmmidnightstoriesss]

PJO Greek Demigod Homebrew

So I did this fun little thing and made a DND Percy Jackson Greek Demigod race expansion!

I love the Percy Jackson universe and everything that came after and decided I had to find a way to incorporate it into my games!

This can also be altered only slightly and perfect for Pathfinder! I include how to do so at the bottom of the guide.

Over the summer, I made a TikTok giving an overview of a quick-build for demigods and included lots of recommendations on subclasses (and trust me I dug for these let me tell you) that fit almost all of the godly parents on this list. You can find that here

Additionally, I know much is changing in the DND world and TTRPG in general right now, so I did include this message in the guide:

This expansion has the unfortunate timing of releasing at the same time as the changed OGL 1.1 announcement in January 2023 but this was already created ahead of time and I wanted to make sure and release it before I returned to uni for another semester. I do not and cannot profit off of this guide as it is essentially fanfiction for the Riordanverse, however, neither does Wizards of the Coast (not that they would unless somehow I made like one million dollars off of this which would not happen). So I hope you will thoroughly enjoy this guide.

This homebrew is quite literally a homebrew, made by a fan for fans. And I truly hope you enjoy it :) And again, as this is a homebrew, feel free to adjust it to fit your game, whether that's something in DND or Pathfinder or even a Star Wars realm or something along those lines. I'm sure you'll enjoy it, whatever is to come.

Go forth, enjoy the homebrew, and get ready for the Percy Jackson TV show and Percy's quests to get letters of recommendation poor Percy like come on he deserves some rest

Enjoy it here! And please share updates with what you and your crew gets up to!

[retropobor]

Screw it, I'm an art blog now, have some more art (UTY pacifist Route Spoilers for part of it, also there's a lot of text you have to read in order to have this thing make sense)

This is my most recent work, made just last night. It's not perfect, but I'm proud of how it turned out, Although I feel as though pretty much everything needs an explanation here, especially if you feel like you recognize someone here.

For those of you who don't know (AKA pretty much every one of you other than maybe @yaboi88900) I run a DnD campaign. A very very poorly balanced DnD campaign. With a mix of heavy amounts of homebrew, and an inability to get anything playtested, I have my fair share of monsters who have almost resulted in a TPK, so I decided to put them all in an artwork to memorialize them.

Left and right: Blood elementals

A while back I was watching a a dungeon dad video about a creature known a blood elemental, and I thought they were cool, so I added a combat encounter against them. I was expecting quite a few people, so I thought 1 per person in the 4 person party worked out, and made a combat encounter against 4 of them... 2 people showed up, and as it turns out a CR 5 Blood elemental is actually pretty dangerous against a level 5 player, so even after killing 2 off, it was still a brutal combat session. There wasn't much else to say about it though. In my opinion, it was rather forgettable.

Middle (Bottom): The Cabinet Man

Ironically the blood elementals weren't the worst encounter of the storyline. Again 2 people showed up for the session, because during this time, we were struggling on player count. Basically everything after the blood elementals was this whole Lemon Demon based plotline with the BBEG being the main character from No Eyed Girl/When He Died, and the quest giver being the main character from Touch Tone Telephone (I can go more in depth in another post if y'all want to know more about it). As you are probably beginning to realize that fine figure in the center is based on Cabinet Man. He's one of if not the first stat block I ever made, which means he's not balanced in the slightest. I'll save the details of what this Cabinet Man can do for a different post because there's a lot on him, but for now know that he's never met a foe he couldn't kill before his second phase. Also he gave my players a crippling fear of arcade cabinets.

Background: The Demon Core Golem

I never actually ran this one because it's too late game for any campaign I've ever ran, but even without running it, just about everyone who's seen the stats has an innate fear for this thing and for good reason, because this thing is strong. It only has a few attacks, but all of them deal a lot of damage, and as expected for something named after the demon core, this thing is highly radioactive, meaning it deals massive amounts of unblockable poison damage if you get near it, and it can give out radiation sickness (CDC accurate radiation sickness at that). Survive all of that, and it does the job its father could only dream of, and becomes a literal nuclear bomb, at which point pretty much all you can do is run. Yes it is as powerful as it sounds. No I don't know what I was thinking when I made this.

Middle (Top): Ceroba Ketsukane, Defiler of Pacifism

This one's the most recent of the lethal encounters, having the related plotline finished tuesday. So Undertale Yellow came out, and I absolutely loved it (if you couldn't tell already), so I decided to adapt bits of the game into a plotline in the campaign (albeit with some lore and plot edits to fit the world, and because total plagiarism just ain't my style). Well if you know anything about the pacifist route, the final boss is Ceroba who dons a mask and becomes incredibly powerful* The party was sweeping through Ceroba's first second phases, and most of the third phase with ease, so I decided to quit sugar coating it for the second half of the third phase. When I was making the stat block for Ceroba I gave her an aoe attack, and perfect for her, all the players were grouped together in one place, so I decided to use that AOE attack, and in one round, I accidentally reduced the entire party other than the sorcerer in the backlines to hit point levels ranging from death saving throws to 4 at the best. Safe to say I re sugar coated it after that. And for anyone wondering, Ceroba was spared, and is now safe and sound in Ketsukane mansion, and she may or may not become a quest giver for some more side quests, Idk yet.