#< ramble tag

[portalpilled]

making a pinned

Hii im portalpilled/drew, you can call me either i dont mind, and im a 19 year old (turning 20 in December) artist :3

im currently getting my associates in video game art so when im not drawing cartoons im either 3d modeling or creating concept works for class

im a polyamorous agender trans man who uses they/them/ey/em pronouns and i love my girlfriends more than anything ever

my birthday is 12/03/04, my timezone is EST, and im lefffttt handedddd

my whole life revolves around art and the different ways we consume it so you'll mostly see me either posting my own art or talking about art in some way

ive worked on a few projects and youve miiightve seen me on the internet somewhere before even without knowing it :3

my ask box is ALWAYS open if you ever wanna shoot me a message or just say hi, im very friendly i promise i dont bite

talking about some of my interests under the benry

i like hfjone, II and bfdi in regards to object shows

i grew up on alot of newgrounds stuff like eddsworld and tankmen

i play alot of puzzle games, i just finished the witness but i also like portal (duh) and escape simulator. those 3d space type puzzle games are very much my style

i adore spongebob... i love that sponge...

my special interest is animatronics (ironically im not that into fnaf) and im obsessed with the rogue ai trope especially when it comes to them experiencing human emotions (think benry, monika, giffany, wheatley and edgar)

obviously i love half life and hlvrai

my fav thing to do is listen to my girlfriend infodump about the source engine #ilovemygirlfriend

annnnd my other gf is really into tf2 so i learn so much from both of them #learning

uhm this is long but thats cool cuz i like talking :3

[sp1resong]

being self aware suuuucks like yeah this thought pattern/behavior is stupid and pointless and a symptom. i know this. [does it anyways

[candycatfalls]

Wait the book of bill appearing to Ford first is fucking HILARIOUS actually. Ford literally killed Bill less than a month ago, and Bill's still banking so hard on him getting him out of therapy that the book shows up in Ford's stuff MULTIPLE TIMES. Girl the situationship has been over for thirty years give it up 💀

[some-pers0n]

Minecraft movie trailer dropped this thing looks awful my skin itches just looking at these things

[theygender]

Having a vagina honestly sucks bc it's like you have to do fucking alchemy just to prevent yourself from getting sick. You've got an intricate ecosystem of microorganisms down there that you're dependent on for your own well-being and they can be set off by the tiniest fucking thing

Keeping your pubes too short can cause yeast infections, but letting them get too long can also cause yeast infections. Washing the area with specialized soap can help prevent yeast infections, but it can also cause them. Your periods can cause yeast infections, and so can the medicine you take to stop your periods. Having sex can cause yeast infections, especially if the person you're having sex with is diabetic (???). Being diabetic can cause yeast infections. Wearing the wrong clothes or eating the wrong things can cause yeast infections. Not getting enough fucking sleep can cause yeast infections. The list is neverending

Luckily, yeast infections are fairly easy to treat with OTC medicine that you can find at any Walmart. BUT! Even if all of your symptoms indicate that you have a yeast infection, you have to take a test first to confirm that it's a yeast infection (they do not sell the tests at Walmart) bc you might actually have the opposite of a yeast infection (bacterial vaginosis) which has the exact same symptoms as a yeast infection but is caused by an imbalance of different microorganisms. And if you use yeast infection medicine to treat a bacterial infection it will light your pussy on fire. So if you have a bacterial infection, you must instead visit your local witch doctor (gynecologist) and get prescribed special potions (antibiotics) to treat it

Antibiotics can also cause yeast infections

[a-drama-addict]

not caring too much about a fandom’s favourite guy is the worst. you’ll think “oh i’ll look into the tag see if anything new and cool’s there” and it’s just that fucking guy again

[violetsandshrikes]

I met a girl when I was fresh out of high school in undergrad who frankly, annoyed me quite a bit, but I also had an inkling to continue to be compassionate to her given a few things about her life/background/family

I ran into her two years ago. Last week, her daughter turned 1. This girl, let’s called her “P”, is a really good example of why I never feel comfortable mocking trad wives

Her perfect trad husband, who was a shining young figure in the local religious community, volunteered in all sorts of groups, well loved in his workplace and everything else, beat her up at 1 month post-partum. I reached out to her after seeing her desperately asking for a stroller on a page, confused and slightly concerned knowing both of them came from wealthy backgrounds.

The reality for lots of tradwives living “perfect lives” is this: P was immediately ostracised. All the wealth of her husband and her family meant absolutely nothing if she wasn’t in favour and doing what she was told. Her child and her well-being didn’t matter. P, at 25 years old, was basically deemed an oopsie, and left on her own to figure out how to pay for herself, a baby, find housing, and every other task you can think of.

Having known many of these women (and supported many of these women), another factor most people don’t consider is this: they are intentionally raised to be helpless. When I immediately offered my support to P, she really needed it. This young woman needed to be guided through how to apply for government assistance, how to weigh up rentals and apply for them, how to apply for jobs, how to sign up for childcare. How to sign up for your own power and internet, and how to connect them.

It wasn’t that she was “stupid”, or incapable, or spoiled. While it looks like they’re being sheltered, in reality, these women are practically being held hostage. Sure, they might be allowed to learn things that are expected of them (see: basic cooking, baking, cleaning, child rearing, women’s bible studies, hosting, and so forth) but they are heavily controlled from family life into marriage life, and they are never given the opportunity or the reality of what many of us would consider basic adult tasks.

She’s doing okay now. Her daughter turned 1, is happy and healthy. They live frugally, but they have a roof over their heads and the essentials. I often babysit for her so she can attend counselling, or go to a woman’s support group. She is painfully aware that she has so much to learn about how to live as an adult.

I don’t envy tradwives, but I don’t find any joy in mocking them either. Even when they live the most picturesque lives, they’re also practically living a real life Jenga game. If (and often, when) it comes tumbling down, they’re screwed too, and they often have 0 skills to help themselves or find community (that again, isn’t carefully curated).

[flame-shadow]

hey did you know??? that if you stop stretching and maintaining mobility in your body then it goes away?? things get tight and you can't move the way that you used to??? and when you decide to try getting a stretch routine going that the first week fucking sucks because you keep going 'damn i used to be able to do this no problem' and then you have to switch gears and be kind to yourself and just focus on getting better from here instead of berating yourself for dropping the good habits in the first place??? and your body never stops aging so you gotta keep taking care of it and sometimes you gotta take care of it extra in certain areas because of things that happened when you were younger and it's boring and sometimes hurts but it's so necessary???

i am yelling this at myself right now i am going through An Experience (trying to get into a routine of body maintenance again for my physical and mental health)

[justafanbutcurious]

[secondbeatsongs]

somehow instead of saying "as a treat", I've started using the phrase "for morale", as if my body is a ship and its crew, and I (the captain) have to keep us in high spirits, lest we suffer a mutiny in the coming days.

and so I will eat this small block of fancy cheese, for morale. I will take a break and drink some tea, for morale. I will pick up that weird bug, for morale.

I'm not sure if it helps, but it does entertain me

[aesethewitch]

When I was a kid, we moved into a house that had a huge lilac tree out front. It was mostly rotten, and it needed to be taken down before it fell. It took a while, but eventually, it was gone.

Mostly. A couple years later, little lilac babies popped out of the ground in its place. My mom was determined to get rid of them, because she'd planted a beautiful flower garden there, and the lilac trees would overshadow and kill the whole garden. I insisted on saving at least a few saplings. She said fine, but I had to dig them out and put them in pots myself.

So, I did. I spent days digging little lilac bushes out of the ground and putting them into pots. Some couldn't be saved, but some could. When all was said and done, I had five brand-new lilac saplings. Seven or eight years old, and it was my absolute pride and joy.

Three died due to sun scorching, severe drought that no amount of watering could save, and perhaps just being moved from their place in the ground. But two survived, and I was awfully proud of them! I'd go out and talk to them every single day. I watered them by hand and made sure they were fertilized properly. I learned all about their favored environments, and I was determined to make sure they lived.

One of my mom's friends saw what I was doing with the lilacs. She asked if she could have one to put in her backyard, and I agreed on the condition that she take very, very good care of it.

It's now fucking enormous. I'm talking ten feet tall and bursting with beautiful purple flowers every spring. My mom still gets updates each year as they start to bloom, which she forwards to me. And all I can think is, "That's my friend! Thriving some twenty years on, there it is."

The other tree nearly died, too. It lived in a pot for far, far too long. I wanted to plant it somewhere in my parents' yard, but my mom was reluctant. Eventually, we agreed to put it in the far back garden. It grew okay for many years, despite the shade, but in all these years, it's never bloomed.

Last year, the massive tree casting massive shadows over the lilac and the garden cracked in half and fell. It tumbled into the garden, crushing part of the nearby shed and destroying a few plants beneath it.

It missed my lilac by inches.

The clean-up is long done. The rest of the tree has been cut down, and my lilac has full sunlight for the first time in fifteen years. It won't bloom this year, I know. But it's got new shoots up. It's taller than ever. I spent half an hour a few weeks ago praising it for surviving all this time, dreaming about its future and telling it how I believe it'll become the tall beauty it's always been meant to be.

I think next year, I'll see flowers.

[oobbbear]

This is what info dumping oc lore feels like

[manhattan-gamestop]

Me explaining why my grades were/are shit

[crowkip]

yeehaw, baby!

[midnight-coffee94]

No single line has ever wrecked me as hard as this one from the Good Place and I think about it constantly

[lazaruspiss]

People know that the whole "don't portray [harmful action] because viewers might recreate it" thing is a rule for children's shows right? It's supposed to be shit like "don't show peppa pig playing with fire so we don't get sued if a kid watches it and burns their house down." Not like, fanfiction for adults.

Edit: this was me venting about fandom cops. not me making some nuanced hot take. don't be weird in my comments.

Edit 2: turning off notifications. PSA: do not use pet names for strangers, especially not without asking. it's creepy.