#< before anyone gets on my dick: I know he is complex and traumatized. i don't need to be told twice. it's a joke it's a j

[astralcities]

i should've staked him

[mellohiizz]

im more complex about the episode then everyone else seems to be apparently. imo they all sucked this episode.

for one, i am actually a dean sympathizer. lets be real parrot and wifies both treated him badly. i wouldnt have told parrot either when he was there constantly repeating the exact same things ash said to blackmail dean; and wifies isnt much better for affirming the shit ash told dean either, infact i would argue wifies was even worse then about it. if i was there hearing "ash was right. youre a burden, but thats ok." and "ash was right. your a burden, we should be leaving you for dead." i wouldnt want to risk jeopardizing my one source of safety either.

before the reveal that dean was actually involved in the leaking of their location wifies just came of as a semi-controlling dick. there were a million better ways all of them could have done things this episode. i dont really like the wifies glazing as if he was perfect this episode and didnt treat a fellow victim who lodgically didnt have a choice like shit. wifies is smart enough to figure out dean didnt want to sell them out. imo he had no actual reason to reason to treat dean with as little empathy as he did, especially when wifies knows exactly what its like to have his existance used to get to parrot in the exact chain of events parrot referenced after the compass was burnt.

both sides of odessy were being hypocritical and hurtful as hell and thats been a theme of uu the whole time. theyre all flawed, they are make mistakes and are selfish and hurt others doing what they think is righteous or best or safest. uu is the dichotomy of perspective, about how everyone does what they think is best and how more often then not that best hurts atleast someone. and guess what? thats life. thats actually pretty normal, especially if youve been through your own shit or are traumatized like the characters of uu are.

they all suck and hurt people, thats the moral of the story. the moral that feels very lost on most of the fandom...

-🔍🏰(f:▶️🥊)

honestly, good take. kind of made me rethink some things that happened in the episode as well.

to be fair, yes, obviously dean was treated badly the whole episode. even i noted that wifies was a bit too harsh with how he approached things the whole video. he knew that dean was leaking information, didn't tell parrot, and still tried to put basically the whole blame of it on dean. "you could argue i hid it from you" yes, wifies, you did keep it from parrot, knowing that parrot would've tried to look for a different solution.

parrot was obviously not any better. he brushed off wifies despite the other very clearly showing signs of concern and he did also openly called dean a burden. which is, yes, he was slowing them down, but i feel like there was a nicer was to go about it.

and yes, i do sympathize with dean, but he did hide a piece of pretty crucial information from them, keeping a leverage in the compass, and then ran away after being confronted. it's fair, i'm not saying he was entirely wrong for that too, but i feel like it wouldn't be fair to say anyone was fully in right/wrong.

and yeah, you're are right, the morality of characters is a pretty obvious focus on the whole uu, and obviously all of them are very flawed. taking wifies's words, we just need to try and look at things from all of their perspectives. they're all understandable, and in some ways even reasonable, but there were much better ways to go about the whole situation, but the problem was exactly that. perspective. they were all focused on their individual goals and didn't try to see everything from the perspective of others. and that's what separated all of them.

[igotanidea]

Batboys x PTSD!gn!friend

@ultravioletqueen asked me about my opinion on how batboys would act/be with someone who's has positive and optimistic character but on the other side deals with the PTSD (like Yui Komori, for those who watches anime). so here's what I think:

Dick

Our golden boy has an oldest daughter complex and is a people pleaser. No denying that. So, if he was to deal with someone who’s generally sunshine and rainbow but has a traumatic past I imagine him getting in his full-care attitude. Every time he sees that person getting lost inside their own head or triggered he would come right in, safe them from whoever or whatever they are dealing with and offer safe space. Maybe alongside with some dad jokes and intentionally bad puns to make them feel better, but that’s only if he knows it would be ok. If not, he would just stay with them, making sure they are all right, maybe cuddling or just giving them silent reassurance that while he’s with them nothing wrong can ever happen and that they are safe. He's a savior in the literal meaning of the word.

Jason

If anyone knows something about PTSD it’s Jason since he himself has been through hell and back. I think that at first he would be distant around the other one with PTSD since every time something triggers them and they fall into the traps of the past events, it would remind him of his own trauma. So initially he would just keep his distance and try to act indifferent. But after a while, when he notices all the patterns they repeat he would step in. He may not show it, but he cares. And if there’s anything he can do to prevent them from making the same mistakes with reliving the nightmare, he would do it. Unlike Dick, though, he would not wait for it to pass, rather find something to keep their mind busy. Training, books, patrol, whatever. It’s like his silent way to show them the past is in the past and they have to move on with  their life.

Tim

Tim is the most analytical one in the family so I definitely see him as someone who would dig in PTDS person past to get to the bottom of the problem. Is it intrusive? Most definitely, but it has never stopped him before, and besides he has all the good intentions in mind. So, when he figures out the issue he would come up with like a dozen of plans to make it go away, using psychological methods. But don’t be mistaken, he would never turn into a therapist, that’s not his style at all. I believe he would rather act like the knowledgeable friend he is. Fully aware about the triggers and how to avoid them, what words not to use, what memories are painful. He has it all figured out and even if he does not show all the work he made with it, he would be the first to notice the signs of trauma coming back and stop it before it fully starts.

Damian

Well, he’s a former assassin and the youngest one so I don’t think he would be familiar with PTSD until any of his brothers explained it to him. Obviously he would just shrug it off and act like nothing ever happened, not fusing about it or treating the person with that disorder any differently than before. And basically that is just it. And to be honest I think that this would be one of the most beneficial approach in the case. He’s not as tuned into emotions as his brothers, he would have no idea about the symptoms or triggers and would just act like his normal self, talking to the person or bickering. And that, that would be a way to make the PTSD person come down to earth. In their head they may be going through drama, panic and anxiety but a few teasing words from Dami would make them wake up from it and realize that whatever they were projecting was not real.  

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

You are and will forever be the supreme authority when it comes to Jason Todd. I genuinely don't want to listen to anyone but you talk about him. "Nobody gets him like I do" nah nobody gets him like YOU do

omg this literally made me blush. this is literally the highest compliment to me omg

and okay - last night while I was trying to fall asleep, I was literally 'writing out' this big long Titans analysis post in my head (nothing like some good old fashioned hyperfixation to help ya fall asleep past the chronic pain) - and so - I will treat you to some of my Jason thoughts <33 because I was thinking about his character arc through the whole show and how it works SO WELL (except for the ending... I hate how he ends up alone. I mean it weirdly makes sense for him but I still HATE IT)

so - at first glance, his character from Season 1 and then him from Season 2 and Season 3 (and even the short bit that he was there during Season 4) can come off as completely different characters. Season 1 Jason is happy, excitable, smiley, and Jason in the other seasons is grumpy, emo, traumatized, etc.

but when you look closer, it makes so much sense.

it's about Dick.

Jason is excited to meet Dick. it's actually heavily my theory that Jason lied about getting the 'go head' from Bruce to meet Dick, and he probably used his privileges on the Bat Computer to find Dick via the tracker - especially because Jason says to Dick "you don't remember him putting it (the tracker) in?" - so Jason has memories of Bruce putting the tracking device in him (which, Bruce putting tracking implants in Jason and Dick as if they are fucking zoo animals is a whole different level of weird, but Bruce doing it to Dick while he was UNCONSCIOUS and didn't know about it - Titans!Bruce Wayne is a whole different BREED like omg)

so - Jason tracks down Dick because he wants to meet his hero. he admires Dick, he is excited to meet him - and what does Dick do? acts annoyed the entire time Jason is there, tells Jason that Bruce is not someone admirable and that he doesn't really 'know' Bruce - and like yes, Dick was right about this, but Jason was 19 at the time and he had previously been a street kid. it's brave and kind of an asshole thing for Dick - who is in his 30s, well established, has a good job and has a lot of options in life even without relying on Bruce for money (which he still very much does even when they are emotionally distant), it's a very ironic and asshole thing for Dick to tell Jason that he should get as far away from Bruce as possible when before meeting Bruce, Jason was homeless or being shuffled around between abusive foster homes.

IN FACT (this is something I LITERALLY JUST considered) - Jason is 19 at the time that he meets Dick, and he said that he was taken in by Bruce a year ago when he tried to steal the hubcabs off the Batmobile (which is a detail/origin taken from other places) - presumably, he thought the hubcabs would make him a lot of money as collectors item or just as an expensive car part to sell. he was 18 at the time, and he was probably homeless after ageing out of the foster system when he turned 18. like HELLO

it's one thing for Dick to try and warn Jason that Bruce is not a great person and he's not what he seems, but for Dick to tell Jason to 'get out while he can' when Jason's financial dependence on Bruce is way higher than Dick's ever was... like ooff. BOY. especially because - yes, Dick losing his parents was very tragic, but he never knew homelessness or abuse in the way that Jason did

Jason has even more of a hero complex toward Bruce because Bruce saved him from homelessness and starvation (and not just modestly, he gets to live in a fucking mansion now) and then asked him to become Robin - which to someone who is 17/18 is conceptually the coolest thing ever.

so - Jason is giggly, smiley, talkative and over excited because he is psyched to meet one of his heroes. and then that hero spends the next day crushing his spirit like a fucking slap-chop

and something that GET'S MEEE

okay - one. the 'brews'. the second that Jason gets into the safehouse, he says that he needs to 'check out the brew sitc' - and I think he's only using the word 'brew' instead of calling it 'beer' because he is actively trying to look cool in front of Dick. but ALSO - during the entire car ride, Dick has been glaring at him, has been very tense, is NOT excited to see him (even after Jason SAVED HIS LIFE, he's not thankful at all), and then Dick seems more angry when he finds out that he's no longer on the biometric lock system - but Jason is. and during the entire elevator ride, he berates Jason for wanting to be Robin instead of choosing 'his own' identity, even though Dick claims he doesn't want to be Robin either

so - to me, it feels like Jason wanted the beer to calm his nerves. like he goes for it AS SOON as he comes in the door, and for the rest of the scenes, he is seen clutching onto the beer bottle for dear life - as though it's calming his anxiety to have it. and we find out later in the episode that his family has a history of substance abuse that he is VERY casual about, including the fact that he was around alcohol and heavy drinkers from a young age because of that history.

(AAAAAND - this is a huge part of why the shift in his character makes so much sense to me. because they throw down the 'foster kid bullshit' lore and the story about Uncle Ray so flawlessly - like it's a joke, like Jason can joke about his past as if it's funny, but substance abuse is a problem for his family and it later becomes a problem for him.)

also - Jason having a fake ID trying to get into the bar (meaning that he has used it to buy booze in Gotham or has used it to get into bars in Gotham - so he drinks) - and when he sneaks into the bar, he picks up the drink on the bar that appears to be some kind of hard liquor and takes a sip of it without flinching??? - he is definitely a drinker, and it's definitely something he does to soothe his nerves. (especially because he is feeling rejected by Dick as a big brother/hero/mentor figure and he is looking to cope with the stress of that through alcohol - but in S1 it's played off as a joke.)

okay I wish I could find a gif of the exact moment I'm thinking of - and there is so much I could go into about Jason's S1 outfit - how he's wearing green and yellow with touches and red THE ROBIN COLOURS, clearly in admiration of his hero, and how his outfit is youthful and playful and colourful and in every other appearance (aside from the actual Robin costume and Red Hood) - he wears all black and wears very plain clothing - almost funeral like and very clearly emo

but okay there is this moment around ^^^ here where Dick tells them all to shut up and then Kory tells them to sit down, and when Kory and Dick go to the bathroom to check on Adamson, Jason very visibly sags. his whole posture sinks into himself and he doesn't try getting chatty with Rachel and Gar like he was with Dick - it becomes so clear that because Dick left the room, he has stopped trying to impress anyone. he just glares and sips his beer. (probably because he knows he is not being received well and he knows he wants to leave.) and this is such a huge taste of S2 Jason

and eventually the whole episode culminates in the big fight about Jason beating up cops - which only further drives home the class gap that Jason and Dick had growing up (I'm not sure want kind of monetary situation Dick had living with his circus family, but it's pretty clear from the way he acts that he's never really struggled for anything, so I have to say it wasn't bad) - Dick thinks all cops are innocent and uwu (and no, Jason shouldn't use Robin as an excuse to beat up cops because that makes the general public feel unsafe around Robin and it's about the principal and reputation - but Jason is soooo right when he says ACAB) - and he was homeless and he experienced the wrath of cops because of it

and the ending of the episode rips the bandaid off of Jason's hero complex toward Dick. so when we pick back up with Jason around Trigon - he wants to save Dick to rub it in his face, and because he 'owes' him - clearly, he wants Dick to be ON GOOD TERMS WITH HIM. he wants to save Dick so they can be friends, at the very least, even if the hero illusion is broken

(I am getting tired and my arms are getting worn out - fuck chronic illness, so here comes the end of the in depth analysis)

Donna telling Jason that he's not a real Titan, Hank calling him an asshole (even if he's joking), Trigon Dick telling Jason that he has darkness inside of him and he needs to be 'exterminated' because of it, Jason feeling like going to live at the Tower is a demotion - all of it really adds to a great transition to his mindset in season 2. and I think it's all really well informed if you look at the details

anyway - blah blah sad boy. he deserves a hug and Dick should have been first in line to give him one

[whatstruthgottodowithit]

The Other Evans Girl [Part Eighteen]

Fandom: Harry Potter [Marauder’s Era]

Pairing: Sirius Black x Original Female Character, Sirius Black x Daisy Evans, James Potter x Lily Evans

Characters: Sirius Black, Original Female Character, Daisy Evans, Lily Evans, Remus Lupin, James Potter, Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Alice Fortescue, Frank Longbottom, Marlene McKinnon, Albus Dumbledore, Voldemort, Peter Pettigrew, Lucius Malfoy, Bellatrix LeStrange, Walburga Black, Orion Black, Jasper Thicknesse, Barty Crouch Jr, Mulciber, Walden McNair

Word Count: 113

Rating: Teen

Summary: Hogwarts is a safe haven, a home for many, but it’s often a place where heartache, love and complex emotions dwell and none know that better than the Marauders. Lily Evans just wants to make it out as a successful witch though the oncoming war and the ongoing advances of James Potter threaten that. Daisy Evans, her twin, has other goals. Join the Evans sisters as they make their way through Hogwarts, prepare for war and eventually find love.

Tags/ Warnings: Hogwarts, Friends, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Marauder’s Era, Teenage Angst, Babies, Weddings, Dating, Crying, Loss of Virginity, First Wizarding War, Love, Kissing, Teenagers, James Potter is a bit of a dick, Hogsmeade, 1970s, Fighting, Loss of Parents, Grief, Babies, Injuries, Gore, Harm, Christmas,  The Potter’s Mansion // Daisy’s Dress // NYE Lily’s Dress // NYE Daisy’s Dress // Lily’s Ring // Daisy’s Ring

Notes: Okay so I’ve been working on updating this and I’ve finally gone through all the chapters already written before I start writing more. It’s changed a lot so I’ve decided it’s just better to completely re-upload it.  

If you want tagging let me know

LINK TO AO3 // LINK TO PINTEREST // LINK TO ALL PARTS

Dear Padfoot,

Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was too busy getting over the trauma of being a bridesmaid. Can you believe she picked orange for our dresses?! Orange! I looked like a bottle of bloody Lucozade. I swear Petunia just does things to mess with me, though I did manage to look better than Vermin, not that that’s a challenge. Anyway enough of my traumatic life, how’s things in the noble house of Black? Managing to keep your sanity?

And yes Lily and I are doing okay thanks for asking. In fact everything seems to have gone right back to normal except for the fact that she seems to keep finding a way to shoehorn James into every conversation. I swear she almost said she’d join us when I asked mum about going to the Potter’s in a few weeks. Must be his charm eh?

Anyway, have you heard from anyone else?

Reply quickly!

Dais x

✵✵✵

James,

As expected Petunia’s wedding was a nightmare but you’ll be happy to hear that me and Lil got through relatively unscathed. How’s life at Casa de Potter? I can’t wait to come and see you. Lily’s gone to stay with Marlene for a few days which means I’m home alone with mum and dad who have realised they only have one child for a change and have taken to fawning over me. Is this what it’s like to be you?

Write to me when you can.

Daisy

 ✵✵✵

Dais,

No pictures? Some friend you are…don’t worry though I bet you looked nice, like a pretty carrot.

Life here is just as grim as ever but alas we soldier on. I wrote the lads last week. Remus replied but he’s not doing so hot apparently his last change was really bad, he says he thinks it’s because he has gotten used to having us with him. The others haven’t replied yet but I bet if I pass that info to James about your sister he’ll get his quill out!

At this point, I don’t care who comes to James’ as long as I’m out of here.

Speak soon,

Padfoot

 ✵✵✵

Remus,

How are you? Sirius mentioned you weren’t doing too well after well you know. Hope you feel better soon and if not I’ll make sure to fend off the boys so you can rest when we meet up!

Daisy

P.s. Lily says have you read ‘The Hobbit’

✵✵✵

Daisy,

I’m okay just a bit worse for wear for a couple of days but I’ll take up your offer of keeping me away from them especially if they want to play quidditch! Tell Lily I have read the hobbit and I loved it! Is she looking for a copy? I’ll happily lend her mine.

Let me know,

Remus

✵✵✵

Padfoot,

Did I tell you I got a new camera! It’s amazing but it’s not magical [you’ll love it]. We had a girl’s day in Diagon Alley and I spotted it on our way back through muggle London. I’ll bring it to James’ with me and maybe even some photos of me from Petunia’s wedding. I’m sure you could use a good laugh!

Speak Soon

Daisy

✵✵✵

Daisy, Daisy, Daisy,

How you mock me and expect me to welcome you to my house with open arms! Well, maybe I will if you bring those pics of you at Petunia’s wedding. Sirius told me about your dress…I think you probably looked more like a goldfish but I’ll need visuals to compare. Remus says you’re trying to get him out of Quidditch at our place and I’d just like to say absolutely not a chance. Both of you are in!

Bring some flying gear! See you soon

James

✵✵✵

Pads,

If you think you and James are getting me on a broom you can go and pitch off the astronomy tower! No. Way. You can spar with a team of three I’m sure.

Dais x

✵✵✵

Pads,

You’ve been quiet. Is everything okay? Not much happening here. Snape came sniffing around a couple of days ago but I scared him off before Lily saw.

Reply soon

Dais x

✵✵✵

James,

Have you heard from Sirius? He’s gone quiet and I’m starting to worry.

Let me know.

Daisy

✵✵✵

Remus,

Have you heard from Sirius? He’s gone quiet and I’m worried.

Let me know.

Daisy

P.s. Lily just wants to talk to someone about it. She’s just read it and is in love. Please write to her! I’m sick of hearing it.

✵✵✵

Peter,

Have you heard from Sirius? He’s gone quiet and I’m worried.

Let me know.

Daisy 

✵✵✵

Daisy,

Can’t say I’ve heard anything from anyone but I’ve been away on holiday with my parents! I’m sure he’s okay. See you at the Potter’s

Peter

✵✵✵

Daisy,

I got a couple of letters from him early on but nothing recently. Try not to worry. Maybe he’s just busy.

Remus

P.s. You’ll be happy to know me and Lily are now corresponding elsewhere. Though tell her I’m enjoying the worst witch! What a recommendation!

✵✵✵

Dais,

Not a jote. Mum says not to worry but I’m not too sure. I take it he hasn’t messaged you if you’re asking. Hopefully, we’ll find out what’s going on when you all come here. It’s probably just his shitty parents to be honest. Sometimes his mum takes it on herself to stop all his letters. Bitch.

I’ll write if I hear anything.

James

✵✵✵

SIRIUS PLEASE RESPOND.

I’m alone at home and going out of my mind with worry. If you don’t respond I swear I’m coming down there.

Reply soon!!

Daisy

✵✵✵

Dais,

Everything’s fine.

Sirius.

SIRIUS BLACK/SERIES TAGS

@maeisafangirl @mysteriouslydelicateface @caitlin1996 @imthebadguyyy

[lu-lus-dicks]

For cursed mods response:

1. I can see that. You're very much strike me as a sexy lil cutie with gremlins in their head

2. Please do daddy

4. Should I be telling you to go to bed more often?

5. I remember you saying that in one of the posts

6. Somehow I saw that coming, but now I'm curious as to why you know polish

For traumatized mods response:

1. Nothing to say other than I'm writing all of this down as we speak

2. See? A cutie patootie pie like I said

3. Just fuck already

5. Depending on what you do for work, this can be so funny. I don't know why but the first thought that came to mind was "stripper". Do with that information what you will

6. Incest

8. Dick pics or not real

10. Don't atart giving me boners now daddy

As for the lulu headcanons, somw aren't even headcanons they're just canons. Gonna spoil some of your fun so here's lulu lore

1. Could be. No idea, haven't been to a therapist to unoack all that, but I genuinely love seeing people laugh so the humour is also a part of that. I would consider becoming a comedian if I ever had anything original to say. Once you figure out the patterns of my "jokes" I become so incredibly unfunny it's unreal

2. Yeah. I can make really good dumplings thanks to my mom (she's the greatest cook of all time. I'm so used to her delicious cooking I can't eat restaurant food anymore. Nearly barfed once because of this)

3. It's not imposter syndrome if I actually have no talent <3 I just have extraordinary memory and people mistake that for talent. The great memory doesn't even work when I need it to

4. It's a good thing you all don't know what I look like. Fat af (not obese yet I think but I'll get there probably) if you saw me irl and still thought "hot" I would honestly advise you to go check your eyes

5. Not really. I don't like liquids, they make me uncomfy. I have one type of fizzy drink I like and that's all I drink. Fun lulu fact I've prolly said before: lulu has never just straight up drank alcohol, he just gets drunk off alcoholic chocolates because he has a chocolate addiction and is a super lightweight

6. Only when it spontaneously appears in my brain. I write cool gift ideas down in my notes but I always forget to check them later

7. Can confirm, unfortunately I have a small PP fetish :( (fun fact, Lulu actually wishes he had a pp. Not trans just a weird fantasy about wanting to scare away men with it)

8. Sorry to dissapoint, but I am so stupid that I have no idea what classifies as a minority. Fyi I'm a caucasian white woman

9. I don't think I have anyone that I hate tbh. My default setting is just to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and never been a fan of the idea of revenge. Except cAnon. Fuck that guy

10. Idk but probably accurate. I actually have an excel spreadsheet of all the sonic the hedgehog fics I've read and rated them all with a very complex system and the highest rating of any of them is 125. As for the kinkiest or weirdest one it's either gotta be one dead dove do not eat crackfic where sonic the hedgehog fucks lancelot from the Arthurian legends (sonic had like 10 nipples in that one or something like that) or it was this other one where plants were like tentacles and got inserted through their dickholes. They gave birth in that one i think? Can't remember

What are your hcs for nunalastor?

I have a whole list of facts about nunalastor on my phone. I am their stalker fr

but as for headcanons here's some of em

traumatized mod def adopted cursed mod at some point. no way cursed mod was the one to make friends with traumatized mod.

cursed mod is a lil cutie patootie pie, even if the stuff they say is batshit crazy

they definitely fuck, fr fr

they kiss eachother goodnight and take turns on who gets to be tucked in

while fucking cursed mod and traumatized mod complain about cursed mod's work enemy together

cursed mod is either European (or asian) or loves talking to people in general (since they speak 4 languages I think?)

traumatized mod has the best kinks of the two

they both have small peepees

traumatized mod tops (obviously)

they actually hate me and I am being the most annoying person in their life <3

[butwhyduh]

Screaming

Jason todd x reader

Warning: ptsd and negative thoughts. Angsty.

Jason gasped awake and threw himself to sit up in bed. His throat was raw with screaming and he trembled. Death. All he saw was his death. No that’s not true. He saw everyone’s death. Dick’s, Bruce’s, Damian’s. Hell even yours despite the fact that had never happened. He saw them all in bright technicolor like he was really there. His hands found purchase in the sheets and he gripped them tight.

When you die, some people believe you see God or all your dead relatives in some kind of heaven airport. But really the light fades and you feel so fucking cold and alone. Every night Jason got to experience a little taste of it again. The nightmares were awful but the moments before realizing he’s alive and awake and still feeling dead and alone were horrifying.

His movement had woke you. You had fallen asleep in earbuds again. That’s why his screams didn’t bother you. You gently grasped his shoulder as you pulled them off.

“Jason, I’m here. Are you okay,” you said softly, treating him so delicately. Jason tried to control his breathing. You looked at him with such a concern that his heart wanted to break. He was already broken. His mind was so fucked up but you still slept in bed beside him. Next to a dead man.

“Are you okay, Jaybird,” you repeated. He nodded roughly but you could tell that he was still in his head. You pulled him into a hug. His arms wrapped around your body as he curled around you and his fingers clung to your shirt. His breath shivered against your neck.

“I’m right here. You’re okay. It was just a dream,” you told him in a low steady voice like the therapist taught you.

“Thank you,” Jason’s said after a minute. His voice sounded hoarse.

“Of course. Let’s lay back down. Do you want some water?” You asked and he shook his head roughly.

“Just... just stay,” he said holding tighter. You laid down in the bed and Jason laid his head on your chest. You ran your fingers through his hair until his grip relaxed completely and he fell asleep. Despite the fact that your presence was a huge comfort, it didn’t stop the nightmares. Nothing did.

——————————

“Jason, you can tell me anything,” said the therapist. She had a clipboard on the knee of her slacks as she sat back in her chair. “I know your life has been... unusual, but you need to talk to someone. Near death experiences are traumatic. Keeping all of that inside can be very harmful.”

“It was a death experience. Not near,” he reminded her. She sighed. “I was buried in the ground.”

“But you are here. That makes it near death. A little more complex but that’s what happens in Gotham,” she said with a shrug. “Everything is more complex here. I once dated a villain without knowing it until he ended up in Arkham.”

“I’ve got to ask who,” Jason said, happy for the distraction.

“I’m definitely not talking about it. This is your time. Let’s talk about something you do want to talk about. How are things with Y/n?” She said. It was Jason’s turn to sigh.

“Things are great.”

“Why the sigh?”

“Because I’m broken. I’m half here and half in the grave. She’s saving me from my dreams every other night. I worry she’ll wise up and leave,” Jason admitted.

“Sounds like she loves you. Have you considered that she wants to help you? Have you told her what happened? Have you opened up to her?” She asked. Jason’s hand gripped the chair tightly.

“No, I can’t. She’s too nice to know everything. I- I can’t. She knows I died and came back but not how or why or all the horrible stuff that I did afterwards,” he said staring at the ground.

“Do you worry that she’ll leave if she knows the truth?” The therapist asked softly and Jason’s head snapped up to look at her.

“Of course. Wouldn’t you?” He said. His face had twisted in anxiety.

“I do know the truth. I haven’t left. I still care about you,” she reminded him.

“You’re paid a shitload of money by Bruce Wayne,” he retorted.

“Language. He pays the standard fee like everyone else,” she said. “My advice? Talk to her. Let her know about your anxieties. You have a long journey with ptsd but you’ve healed so much these past few months. Don’t you see that?”

“I guess,” he said quietly but she was right. He used to have flashbacks in the middle of the day. He would flinch at anyone touching him. There was no way he would date someone. Things are better but not good.

“Talk to her. That’s your homework. Even just something small,” she said. Jason nodded reluctantly. He knew his therapist was right but it still sucked.

—————————

Jason came home to you in the kitchen. You were humming along to the radio as you cleaned the sink. He watched you for a minute as your hips swayed to the music. He couldn’t help but smile a little at the sight. You hadn’t noticed him yet.

Jason cleared his throat and you jumped before laughing. You put down the rag and smiled at him. He waved a bag of donuts and a tray holding two coffees at you.

“Well aren’t you a sight,” you said walking over and grabbing the tray. “Coffee and donuts. From the place on 9th?”

“Like I’d go anywhere else. Yours has the x for extra caramel,” he said. You kissed his cheek and he could smell the clean lemon bleach smell on you.

“Aww just like I like it, thanks Jaybird,” you cooed before sitting on the couch. He awkwardly sat on the coffee table instead of the couch. Let’s rip off the bandage, right? You looked up at him confused.

“What’s wrong?”

“I need to talk to you. About... stuff. In my past,” he said and you sat back at the weight of it. He’d never wanted to talk about that. You sat the coffee on the table.

“Okay. Sure.”

“I told you that I died and came back and became Red Hood, right?” He asked and you nodded. “But I had a suit before I died.”

He played with his fingers and gulped. “I was Robin and I worked with Batman.”

You tried to control your shock on your face. He might take it as a judgment and you didn’t want that. He shuffled around with nerves.

“I died as Robin. I’m the dead Robin,” he said. It was infamous that one of the Robins died. And the death apparently was really bad. Closed casket and all. No wonder Jason had horrible nightmares. “I was killed by the Joker.”

He bent and grabbed his drink and took a sip. You placed a hand on his knee and he gave you a half smile. “You aren’t done are you?” You asked after a minute.

“My therapist told me to talk to you,” Jason said somehow sounding more nervous.

“Hey, you don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to. It’s fine-“

“I need to. I... I worry that you’ll leave. That you’ll get tired of this. Me being broken,” he said and you inhaled quickly.

“I would never. You aren’t broken. You’re the best guy I’ve ever dated. I just wished you could see it,” you said cupping his face with your free hand. He frowned. “You’re irreplaceable to me. Truly.”

Jason held your wrist on the hand cupping his face. He searched your eyes for lies or doubt. He looked close to crying and it was hard to see.

“Jason. Worry about what you need to do for yourself and not another second of me leaving. I’m not going anywhere. You’ll have to throw me out. I’m spoiled with coffee and donuts. You aren’t getting out that easily,” you said with a little smile. He smiled lopsidedly back at you.

“Okay.”

“Yeah? Wanna watch Die Hard and lay on my boobs?” You said and his face split into a laugh.

“How did I get so lucky? Of course I want to. Boobs and Die hard. Pretty perfect pair I have to say,” he said pulling you down on the couch.

“Boobs or Die Hard?”

“Both,” he said snuggling close. You played with his hair as the movie started knowing he probably wouldn’t stay awake long. He needed to make up for his missing the night before. It wasn’t long until his body relaxed and you could tell he finally fell asleep.

You weren’t fixing him. You weren’t the answer to his problem. But you could be a light when he felt at the bottom of the well to help him crawl back up. A friend to lean on. A shoulder to cry on. And a lover to let him know that he wasn’t alone. That he was on the right side of morality. Someone good to see the good in him. Healing is a journey and he was so fucking grateful to have someone to there with him.

[nightswithkookmin]

A quick lesson on ships

Because why not??😌

No but seriously, bare with me, I'm trying to answer your questions. Sit if you have to. Hehe

Uban Dictionary defines shipping as this:

A term used to describe fan fictions that take previously created characters and put them as a pair. It usually refers to romantic relationships, but it can refer platonic [sic] ones as well. (Just think of “shipping” as short for “relationSHIP”.) 9 Apr 2015

Ships can be platonic or romantic or both.

There's fictional ships and non fictional ships too. You ship two people you want to be in a relationship or who already are in a relationship or who you suspect to be in a relationship- perhaps due to queer baiting, ship baiting, romance baiting etc.

In the shipping fandom, there are two sects of people. Those who are Proships those who are Antiships- antis are ironically considered part of the shipping community because for some reason they are always in shippers business💀

Antishippers are those who oppose a particular ship or shipping in general (more on that later.)

Proshippers are well- Pro ships.

Pro-Ship

A term mostly used in fandoms, but can stretch outside of this to include original characters. The core belief is that shipping two fictional characters, no matter if they are family, share ages gaps, considered to be unhealthy, or show blatant signs of being abusive or other generally unsavory behaviours, are valid in a fictional setting.

Pro-Shippers or "anti-antis" are also known as "rainbow meaties" and will use 🌈 + 🍖 emojis together often in their bio on twitter or other social media platforms- usually within fictional settings.

These shippers reinforce the idea fiction is separate from reality and shouldn't be confused with the other.

‘Anti’ is short for ‘anti-shipper’ or ‘anti-[ship]’.

Kindly read through this thread to get the gist of it.

III

IV

Shipping non-fictional individuals is a subset of Proshipping, in my opinion, known also as alternative shipping- as far as my knowledge on it goes.

As with fictional shipping, alt ships have their antis too. People who disagree with shipping real couples in a romantic way for whatever arbitrary moral reasons they have and who feel entitled to go out of their way to correct, stop, police and punish such shippers.

Then there are those who although may be pro real people shipping think they have the right to tell others how they should ship and to what extent they can ship.

Others too prefer to ship real people platonically because they view romantic shipping of real people as problematic.

So to answer your question on Anon's post- there is no such thing as a Proshipper who is also Anti shipping. Thats oxymoronic. Perhaps they might be platonic shippers who are anti romantic ships but not necessarily romantic shippers themselves.

I don't think there's anything wrong with preferring to ship platonically. It is when they assume by virtue of their false sense of moderacy that they are better than others that shit starts to get funny.

Those shippers are delusionally confused beings with a supremacist imperialist complex rooted in ignorance and absurdities.

I usually walk by those quietly. keep it pushing. Gotta mind my business somehow even though most times I just want to pull their hair and bite them and shit😭

I try to keep it classy.

Lord knows I try.

You are either pro ship or anti ship. There's no in between. Those shippers who are shippers but claim they are not are nothing but fraudulent, fake us, simps trying to bamboozle their way through life- pardon my Swahili.

There are a lot of anti shippers moonlighting as shippers in this fandom. It's fascinating.

Personally I think those people are either confused or their desires to appeal to other Anti shippers must have morphed their brains into ass dick hybrids.

Anti shippers in general are notorious gatekeepers, gaslighters, bigots, high key sanctimonious and often have a cis white westernized sense of morality and ethics through which they fliter others and expect everyone and everything to conform to.

They impose their values on others, their ethics on others, resort to manipulation, policing, intimidation and bullying to impose their will etc.

Within shipping, there are those who are Proshipping yet anti certain ships. Most Tuktukkers are anti Jikook. And assume anyone who isn't a tuktukker is equally anti Tae Kook and so go ahead and exhibit anti behaviours towards them.

Think of such groups of shippers as Proshippers with a preference for particular ships if you will.

There are Pro shippers who also feel some kind of way about Shipping real life people or alt shipping.

Here's further resource to help you understand what proshipping is

If you are intolerant with other shippers choice of ships or style of shipping and you traumatize them for it that's Anti shipping. Especially if you feel entitled and justified to traumatize others because you take a higher moral status over them.

You can be proship and not like how certain people, how they go about

Simply walk away, click off, mind your business. You are not the only adult in these streets and leave people to do what interests them.

I think for as long as I can remember, I've always been a proshipper and I ship both platonically and romantically, fictionally and alternatively💀

Some themes in fiction are a hard limit for me such as the R word, pedophilia, incest, child abuse- I just can never find the entertainment in those topics and will struggle through such themes.

But others believe it's just FICTION and those fictional characters aren't really dealing with the imaginary struggles we read about.

Yall do you sis.

I don't really know why people make a big deal of it or try to demonize the concept of shipping as if it were something strange or mysterious- just keep your moral values to yourself. I am not your mother's daughter. we were not raised in the same households.

Then again I think it all depends on the different cultures and social backgrounds we all come from and how entitled, supremacist or imperialist they are.

For Yoonmin, I shipped them romantically but didn't think they were a real couple at all. I just romanticized their interactions and found humor in it. At the back of my head I was expecting them each to one day find husbands or wives and go their merry ways and even harbored the thought they each could very much be in serious romantic relationships with others.

In similar ways, I shipped Minimoni and Vmin.

You can ship a pair romantically and not think at all that they are actually REAL.

A lot of jokers ship Jikook romantically and don't assume they are real. Just as a lot of people shipped say Elena and Stefan romantically even though Paul was married.

Some shipped Elena and Damon too due to their unscreen chemistry and even felt they could be a thing- that was before later it was revealed they had started dating in real life. Even that I was holding on to my Bonnie x Damon fantasies because Bonnie was my bias and I shipped her with everyone romantically- of course I didn't expect any of those ships to manifest into something because it was the character I was shipping not Kat herself. To this day I still love her onscreen chemistry and friendship with Damon and don't see how people could wish for it to be more than that😭

It was beautiful as is. Not everything should climax into sexual intercourse.

But if I felt at some point any of her ships had crossed into alternative ships I would have jumped on those and supported it whole heartedly.

If you assume a pair are a real couple and dating in real life that's alt shipping- a lot of alt shippers suspect a ship is real and that's why they ship them.

There is no such thing as platonic alt shipping.

And for me personally, because I believe Jikook are a real couple and have made that cross over I don't ship any of that pair romantically with other members anymore.

It's bizzare to me to ship someone I know has a partner romantically with anybody else- I make exceptions for Vmin of course💀

I know JK is side eyeing me but I don't care.

I want Tae to be happy too😭😭😭

Tae just wants his bestfriend and soulmate😭

It's too much😭😭😭😭😭😭

He stays shooting his shots🤣

Jimin Harem is real🤭

I must admit, I catch myself slipping on Vmin and Minimoni every now and then- old habits die hard and they don't make it easy 😫

But that don't mean I think Vmin is dating. THAT WOULD BE WILD.

Summary

Proshippers can be Platonic or Romantic shippers and you can ship a pair romantically and not assume they are real at all.

Anti shippers are just assholes trying to beat their values down people's throats.

Alt shippers don't ship their OTP with other players romantically.

I don't know what you mean by Jinkooker...

Do you ship Jinkook romantically or think they are real?? Sis...

Maybe you just ship them platonically or casually.

I ship all the ships platonically.

Especially all Jimin"s Tae's ships. I'd let my self flirt with the idea of romance every now and then.

JK's ships don't make sense to me as ships.

As nonplatonic ships I mean.

I'm fascinated each time I see a hardcore JK x any member ship besides Jikook swearing up and down JK is screwing Namjoon🤣🤣

I hope this helps??

GOLDY

[indecisive-behaviors]

Originally I was just going to add this as a reblog to my previous post about the parking lot scene in KK2 but it’s almost 2k words so now it’s getting it’s own post. Be forewarned- this is fucking long.

TW for discussion of PTSD, child abuse, neglect, injury, and death, in relation to topics surrounding the show, under the cut-

Obviously, Cobra Kai is a show based around the premise of “what happened to that Lawrence kid after he got kicked in the face?”, which is honestly a pretty cool idea for a show. Johnny’s story is never explained past sitting on the sidewalk with his head in his hands at the tournament, and there are no real context clue’s to figure out what may or may not have happened.

In the show we get to learn early on that Johnny’s life spiraled after the tournament, going from bad to worse to “holy shit how are you still alive”-dropping out/never going to college, working jobs he seems to hate, becoming an alcoholic, presumably many dead end relationships, and not being there for his kid. And yeah, obviously, this would be a hard pill to swallow for anyone watching the show if Johnny had just lost the tournament. If we never got the scene in KK2, he would have just been some kid who lost a tournament- we see at the end of the first movie that(through tears holy shit Billy) that Johnny is the one who gives the trophy to Daniel with his famous line, “You’re alright, LaRusso.” There’s a level of grudging respect in that moment that isn’t lost on anyone who sees that movie- that Johnny, who throughout the movie only sees Daniel as some whimpy kid, gets proven wrong and respects that. If we didn’t have that scene, there’s reason to believe Johnny would have apologized, tried to make amends, Something, even if it was just being less of a dick at school.

But then, we get the parking lot. We get a far off shot, intended to distance you from the scene, framed over Daniel’s shoulder. This makes sense, Daniel is the main character, the protagonist, the underdog hero- why wouldn’t it be framed in his perspective? But the scene is about Johnny. We get the shouting match, the back and forth- “No, you’re the loser man.”- and again it’s fairly obvious how Johnny sees this situation. This is a man who we assume(and is later confirmed) to be a surrogate father figure, who set his friend up for failure, and then basically forced him to do the same by targeting an injured opponent, and forcing him to fight without honor. This same man presumably follows a teenager out to the parking lot, to harass him, to tell him he’s off the team, to tell him he’s a loser, that he’s nothing.

But at that point, Johnny knows the truth, even if subconsciously. At the end of the day Johnny knows that Daniel LaRusso was a worthy opponent, and that regardless of the cheating and manipulation, Daniel could have won anyway, and did win, despite of it.

And then Kreese grabs him, too fast to react to, Johnny too surprised even knowing that Kreese is the bad guy here, not believing that he would ever willingly hurt him- and Johnny isn’t strong enough to fight him off, none of the boys are, so Johnny is forced to suffocate for almost a full 30 seconds(which I double checked for the record- also as a reference, 30 seconds is about the average time it takes for a person voluntarily holding their breath to pass out- this does not account for the oxygen lost during a struggle, and the lack of preparation from both surprise and panic. The only silver lining here is the fact that Kreese was most likely compressing his windpipe, not his jugular, which would have made him pass out in about 5-10 seconds, and would have caused permanent brain damage or death in about 15).

Now, PTSD is a complex thing. I’m not a psychiatrist, and what small amount of information we have is all we have to work off of, but I feel fairly comfortable in saying Johnny mostly likely developed it after the incident. This not an uncommon take in the fandom as far as I’m aware either. But, if we assume this, we also have to assume that after the fact nothing would have been done about this. Not just in the sense that we still don’t really know everything that happened right after the tournament, but that in the early 80s, PTSD wasn’t really a thing yet.

Sure it was absolutely a condition that existed, but Post Traumatic Stress Disorder wasn’t even added to the DSM-III until 1980- and for a long time afterward, was only seen as a condition that affected primarily war vets. Even after an event as traumatic as having a man you considered a father trying to kill you, in public, without remorse, would not have been seen as something to warrant the diagnoses, let alone treatment.

Johnny Lawrence was 17 when Kreese tried to kill him, and this boy would have been offered no resources beyond filing charges with the police. And as we see in KK3, either this didn’t happen either, or someone(presumably Silver) got the charges dropped. So on top of almost being murdered, Johnny had to live with the fact that the man who did that to him was still out there, and to top it off, still ran a dojo at least for a few months after the event. The only relief he could have gotten is after Kreese faked his death.

And sure, Mr Miyagi may have gotten Kreese to let go eventually, but as several people have pointed out in comments and tags, left him and the other boys alone with Kreese still standing there in the parking lot and just... drove off. Kreese has already been established to be a psycho with no problem hurting children, a little bit of glass might not have prevented him from trying again.

So why did I talk about all of that? Because it all contributes to why Daniel LaRusso works as a credible antagonist in season 1 of Cobra Kai.

Think about this- Johnny blames losing everything on Daniel in season 1, but we specifically get a shot in KK1 and later KK2(”You’re alright, LaRusso” and “I did my best” come to mind) where he seems to be at least mostly accepting of the fact that he lost(with what was actually an illegal kick but that’s a rant for another time). So why does he blame him for everything 30 years later?

Because 30 years later, Johnny is forced to go outside, go to work, and pretend like he doesn’t see what feels like every street corner(including right outside his apartment mind you), a literal billboard sized reminder of what happened to him.

The rest of this is mostly speculation but it makes sense in my head so bear with me.

When we get introduced to Robby, it’s made pretty clear that Johnny has not been in his life for a bit. In season 2 we get Johnny’s heart to heart with Miguel, where he divulges that he missed the birth, because he spiraled after his mom’s death. This however doesn’t suggest that he stayed gone, especially knowing that it wasn’t long enough for Robby to not consider seeking out his dad. Because tacked up to the fridge, is a picture of Robby in his soccer uniform as a kid. It’s an early detail you can see in previous episodes, and says a lot about how Robby grew up. To be fair, this could have been given to him by Shannon, and not taken himself, but it’s the sport Robby’s playing that makes me question this. KK1 dedicates an entire scene to Johnny being on the soccer team in high school. Soccer, while maybe not as important to him as karate, is still part of his character. Robby does not know karate in season 1, Johnny obviously didn’t share it with him, but that doesn’t mean Johnny didn’t share anything with him.

So Johnny’s back in his kids life, maybe doing better for himself, maybe cutting back on the drinking. LaRusso Auto is already established to exist at this point but it’s in Encino, a place Johnny has no reason to go to, and probably doesn’t want to. He’s trying again and things are okay. But Robby knows enough about Daniel to know that going to him will piss off his dad. So Johnny had to have talked about him at some point. The billboards here are what’s important- they’re in the first episode, the first scene montage, Johnny draws a dick on one of them as some petty revenge.

The first billboard goes up in the late 2000s to mid 2010s. Johnny sees it, maybe he has Robby with him at the time, maybe he goes home and says something there, but he says something in a way that sticks with even a child as being important. More billboards go up. Dealerships starting popping up more and more. Daniel’s face, and by extension, the memories, the flashbacks, become inescapable. Johnny, for a third time, spirals again. Before he even knows what’s happening, he’s lost his relationship with his son. And it’s all Daniel’s fault. Of course Daniel doesn’t do it deliberately, but the constant reminders are enough to send him back into a tailspin and Johnny blames him for it.

Because it’s Daniel who is a constant reminder of his failures- it’s Daniel who caused him to lose the tournament and almost get killed, Daniel who put up the billboards that trigger his flashbacks, it’s always Daniel Daniel Daniel.

And then Johnny gets it in his head that he wants to be better. He opens a dojo, teaches Miguel and the other kids, wants to try again- and he almost succeeds.

Johnny up to this point has not deliberately antagonized Daniel in any way. Sure he named the dojo Cobra Kai, but Cobra Kai is all he knows. Besides Johnny doesn’t blame karate for his failures, his best memories are Cobra Kai and he’s trying to be better than Kreese. So what’s the harm in this really? His building is in Reseda, there’s no reason for Daniel to ever be there, he doesn’t do it out of spite, it’s because he lives there and rent is cheap. He doesn’t know about KK3, doesn’t know about Daniel’s own trauma. This isn’t an attack. Johnny sincerely just doesn’t know.

Enter Daniel, stage left. Daniel makes no attempt to talk to him- he simply makes demands and accusations, before he starts making active attempts to put him out of business.

Sure, we as the audience know Daniel has good reasons to not want Cobra Kai back. But Johnny doesn’t. All Johnny knows is that the kid he picked on in high school- who won, who got everything Johnny wanted, who grew up to be successful, has a wonderful wife, two kids who love him, a thriving business- is doing everything he can to make his life hell 30 years after the fact.

And this could only have happened because in 1986 John G. Avildsen decided to add in a scene meant for the original movie into the sequel, for absolutely no fucking reason.

[whumpsday]

I'm going to throw my own analysis in the ring here. Apologies ahead of time if this steps on any toes, as with all analysis the thoughts shared here reflect more on me than the original work. Insert your post on forgiveness here.

I read Kane as disabled and fundamentally failed by his society, who sees that he's effectively missing a hand and decided that's all the reason they need to lock him out of sight.

Does that excuse his actions? No. Goodness knows Bellamy has been waving the "happier better life here" flag where Kane could see it.

He chose, time and again, to hurt Jim. That's on his head.

And he was punished for it.

My particular take on the whole thing is that the Hunters (and thereby us) were the crucible that knocked all the slag out of Kane that was weighing him down. Purifying him in a sense. He is smart enough to learn his lesson and do better. Anton can't claim that. I highly doubt the rest of his family can either.

At the end of the day the story strikes me as one of metamorphosis, at least for Kane. Starting out as a shitty person, who goes through a hell only he would survive, and is lucky enough to be able to reform himself on the otherside.

As for Jim and Liz, their story is more complex. For them the situation really is thorny, but they also have a plethora of good options.

Killing Kane is a good option. Technically it would even be a mercy. Jim just can't bring himself to do it. Which, fair.

To my mind, letting Kane redeem himself is the harder but "holier" option if that makes any sense.

this is a very interesting analysis!

one point i want touch on is the reading of kane as disabled. this isn't quite analogous. kane's in a very peculiar situation. lack of persuasion is looked down on with intense scrutiny within vampire nobility, but you'd be hard-pressed to find a regular everyday vampire who would care. kane was born into a very insular community with very skewed values.

@whumpshaped and i have actually discussed an AU where kane is human, and the parallel we drew there was kane being born into a cult that stigmatizes left-handedness: most of the world won't care, but particular communities REALLY will. unlike ableism, which is pretty pervasive throughout larger society.

the concept of kane's traumatic experiences "purifying him in a sense" is a tricky one. there's some nasty implications that can be drawn from that. but in a way, i do think it speaks to real life. i would draw on my own personal experiences for this. i have posted about my own trauma here, just linking that so i don't have to re-explain it. prior to my own dismal experience, i was far less understanding about the horrors of the american mental health system. i would tell people who were acting like dicks to "go to therapy". i once called 911 on a suicidal friend. i thought my grandfather (who went through something very similar to what i did) was koo-koo because of his intense paranoia of doctors.

after what i went through, i completely get it. i'm the same way, now. always afraid. never trusting healthcare professionals, ESPECIALLY mental health ones. i get it. and i've projected a lot of that "suddenly getting it" feeling into kane, obviously. for all the horrors, i personally feel that i am a better, more compassionate person now than i was before i got ptsd. so that's where that comes from.

jim and liz's situation is really thorny. for jim, once i decided to go with a whumper-turned-whumpee angle on it, i'd decided jim's story would be a metaphor for "learning to live with your trauma". anyone who has trauma needs to learn how to live with it, how to function despite it. it's something i've been trying really hard to do myself. in jim's case, it's literal. kane is his trauma, living in his house, in his basement, and if he can't bring himself to kill him, he has to learn to live with that.

[effei-s]

What shatter-me Warner would do.

The fastest character assassination I’ve ever seen.

Here’s the thing: Warner from original trilogy had character arch. More important: he was a character.

He was mean, villainous, cold, cruel murderer, with daddy who basically bought him regency (like come on, if it wasn’t for Anderson no one would even think about giving him that position; n for nepotism), but he also was deeply traumatized and abused his whole life and had little to none normal human interactions. I loved that fact that the only good thing he did (killing Fletcher because he was abusing his family) resolved into a complete catastrophe (Anderson killing children and wife) because Warner didn’t think it through. He tried to do the right thing and failed miserably, because he was more concerned with making a spectacle for Juliette. And after that he still had the audacity to paint himself as a hero who saved poor family from terrible tyrant in Ignite me.

I didn’t expect him to act and think like a human being. He didn’t need to act like a normal human. Warner gas lighting Juliette in the first third of ignite me is Warner’s thing to do. Him yelling and throwing tantrums and making scenes in Unravel me is Warner’s thing to do. Him forcing Juliette to do things she doesn’t want and traumatizing her in the process in Shatter me is Warner’s thing to do. Him wanting to torture Adam to death is Warner’s thing to want.

There’s a few reasons for this:

a) he doesn’t know how to communicate with people other than giving them orders or making threats;

b) he truly believes that he’s in the right here (he doesn’t see himself as a bad guy in Juliette story, more like a knight on a white horse);

c) he’s physically unable to be honest with himself and always has someone to blame for his own mistakes and failures;

d) he’s ‘results justify the means’ kind of guy.

Changes for good, with trauma that deep, when you basically don’t have a moral compass, don’t happen over night.

Was his ignite-me arch made sloppy? Yes. Everything was too info-dumpy and too convenient (Juliette forgetting that Warner was going to torture Adam to death; Juliette feeling that she’s the one who needs to apologize; Leila’s entire character used only for a sob story; Adam turned into a douchebag so Warner would look a more suitable love interest, etc). But it still was an arch. And the finale of ignite me was so open I really could imagine that, little by little, in the future, he will start to trust people more and really gonna help Juliette and co to make the world a better place. And his redemption arch wasn’t finished in the slightest, and I would even say that it was only the beginning of it, but it was implied that things will get better from there (the most important part of that being him genuinely wanting to make things right with Adam and James; he’s the one who makes the first step and initiate the bond).

So what went wrong in new three books? Ehm… everything, to be honest. Instead of developing a character that was already there, she decided to give him a new personality. Actually it can be said about every single one of characters, but Warner just happened to be the biggest victim of them all.

Let’s look at Restore me.

Okay, we have his pov, and I never thought I would say it but… Warner is kinda dumb. He’s supposed to be this military strategy genius, someone who knows how RE works from within and… it turns out that he just as clueless as Juliette. More than this, we never actually see him do ANYTHING except fucking Juliette. And for some reasons he never helps Juliette with her work??? There’s so much paperwork and instead of helping her to sort though it he’s… just not there???

Those stupid long monologues about how she’s capable to do anything mean nothing if he doesn’t actually help (as we can see at the end of restore me, when Juliette gets captured).

That fact that he doesn’t immediately check if Castle’s words are true? And instead of helping Juliette with Haider (telling everything he knows about him and his family, preparing her for the dinner) he fucks her??? This is a dumb bitch shit. And maybe you didn’t noticed but Shatter-me Warner wasn’t a dumb bitch.

After all, there’s a simple reason I never wanted the job of supreme commander myself—

I never wanted the responsibility.

It’s a tremendous amount of work with far less freedom than one might expect; worse, it’s a position that requires a great deal of people skills. The kind of people skills that include both killing and charming a person at a moment’s notice. Two things I detest.

Remember shatter-me Warner who wanted power because power meant that he could have control over his life? Remember shatter-me Warner who wanted to work with Juliette as a team to change the world? Yeah that’s him now.

No personal ambitions allowed when you’re a walking dildo, I guess.

Off the topic, but Mafi really enjoys making Juliette stupid as fuck:

“Oh, yes, of course,” she says, remembering. “I’ve gotten a bunch of letters about that. I didn’t realize it was such a big deal.”

Let's continue.

Hurting Haider would be enough to start a world war.

Warner says and then Juliette threatens Haider, a foreign official on a diplomatic mission, and instead of being even a little bit worried and think about possible consequences, Warner thinks this:

But I can only smile at her. I want to scoop her up and carry her away. Take her somewhere quiet and lose myself in her.

Okay, I guess it’s official, there’s sperm inside of his head instead of brain cells. I can’t find any other explanation for this clownery.

Shatter-me Warner would… Shatter-me Warner won’t be in this situation in the first place.

Someone tries to kill Juliette and Warner does… nothing about it. He never goes to check the body of the assassin himself. He thinks that Nazeera hides something and he still allows her to go around and doesn’t even interrogate her when Juliette says that Nazeera was there at the moment of the attack. He doesn’t find it even a little bit suspicious? That guy who had tremendous trust issues in the original trilogy? Remember him? Yeah, that guy. Shatter-me Warner would lock Nazeera and Haider up and demanded answers. Shatter-me Warner would be angry as fuck, and would try to kill Kenji with his bare hands, because Kenji was stupid enough to leave Juliette alone. Shatter-me Warner wouldn’t stop until he had answers (and the head of a person who wanted to kill Juliette on a plate).

New Warner is too busy feeling sorry for himself to actually do anything about it. And after one chapter it’s completely forgotten, like that fact that someone tried to kill her is not important at all.

And then Castle enters the picture with his stupid and sloppy info-dumping (I guess Mafi never heard of ‘show don’t tell’ rule). And says this:

“She can’t lead this resistance,” he says, squinting at something in the distance. “She’s too young. Too inexperienced. Too angry. You know that, don’t you?”

and if that wasn’t enough he also says this:

“It should’ve been you,” Castle says. “I always secretly hoped—from the day you showed up at Omega Point—that it would’ve been you. That you would join us. And lead us.” He shakes his head. “You were born for this. You would’ve managed it all beautifully.”

AND HE’S STILL ALIVE AFTER?

This is a fucking treason right there. And Warner A-OKAY with this.

Shatter-me Warner would strangle him right there. Or better yet, he would go along with this until he has 100% evidences of Castle’s betrayal and then he would kill him. Or he would kill him simply because Castle was withholding important information and earlier in books he put Juliette in a great danger by sending her to Anderson without telling her the truth (unravel me).

But not this Warner. New Warner is far more concerned with fucking Juliette then helping her or looking for a way out of this situation (because now he has dick instead of a brain).

After my father’s revelation, my thirst for information became suddenly insatiable. I needed to know more—who these people were, where they’d come from, how much we’d known—

WHERE AND WHEN DID WARNER IN PREVIOUS BOOKS DISPLAY THIS?

When I say that Mafi simply forgot her own characters this is what I mean. Warner from original trilogy didn’t give a flying fuck about them. He thought that they were weak and stupid.

I will lose her.

And it will kill me.

He said this shit and after he nearly had a panic attack because he imagined her dating someone else? Oh, come on, how more pathetic can he get?

There are words for this kind of behavior: toxic codependency.

Oh wait wait! I know! This is not Warner! This is Edward Cullen disguised as Warner! The mystery is solved!

Oh, he fucks her again. Apparently it’s the only thing he’s good at. What a character! The layers! The complexity!

And then Lena came into the picture.

Until that moment I was more or less okay with Warner. Yes, I was very confused, but I was ready to give Mafi benefit of the doubt. He lost his father and was dealing with grieve. We all can act out of character in the face of a tragedy or drastic changes.

“Why do you keep pressing this? Who cares if I’ve been with other women? They meant nothing to me—”

And there I felt in my guts, I’m not gonna like what next to come.

Haider was exhibiting suicidal tendencies. Self-harming. And I got really scared. I called Warner because I knew Haider would listen to him.” She shakes her head. “Warner didn’t say a word. He just got on a plane. And he stayed with us for a couple of weeks. I don’t know what he said to Haider,” she says. “I don’t know what he did or how he got him through it, but”—she looks off into the distance, shrugs—“it’s hard to forget something like that.

Oh, so Warner's words about how he never had any real interactions with anyone before Juliette were bullshit. About how he doesn’t understand people were also bullshit. About how Juliette was the first person who was not afraid to speak with him freely were also bullshit. Because all of the sudden he can help someone heavily depressed. Someone with suicide tendencies? Someone who harms himself? And now he has an ex-girlfriend who’s ready to beat the fuck out of him and calls him mean words (she clearly doesn’t fear him)?

Now his entire character in the first trilogy doesn’t make any sense. And his excuses don’t make any sense.

Bravo, Mafi! Bravo! This was the fastest character assassination I’ve ever seen.

She says that Lena was in love with him—really in love with him—but that Warner broke her heart, that he never treated her with any real affection and she’s hated him for it.

Oh, so he’s not only stupid and absolutely useless, he’s a fuckboy. And if there’s one thing I HATE, it’s fuckboys.

There’s a big-big-big difference between someone who has one-night-stands and THIS SHIT:

“You’re upset, I understand. But it’s not my fault you feel this way. I don’t love you. I never have. And I never led you to believe I did.”

“She and I,” he says, “it was—we were nothing. It was a relationship of convenience and basic companionship. It meant nothing to me. Truly,” he says, “you have to know—if I never said anything about her it was only because I never thought about her long enough to even consider mentioning it.”

“It wasn’t like that. It wasn’t two years of anything serious. It wasn’t even two years of continuous communication.” He sighs. “She lives in Europe, love. We saw each other briefly and infrequently. It was purely physical. It wasn’t a real relationship—”

So he despised her but used her for sex? WOW. Cool. He can go and trip over a fucking knife or fall out of the window for all I care.

“Everything in my life was different before I met you,” he says. “I was lost and all alone. I never cared for anyone. I never wanted to get close to anyone. I’ve never—you were the first person to ever—”

And how exactly he was able to help Haider with his self-harm then??? If he didn’t CaRe for anyone before Juliette?

This was the moment when Warner from original trilogy died in agony.

Okay, let’s see real quick what we have in Defy Me:

He thinks about escape but never really does anything to escape;

(anderson is the one who opens his cell;

he stands in front of a guy who murdered his mother and doesn’t even think about her, yeah I can see how important she was for him;

/again, shatter-me Warner would probably demanded answers, but not walking dildo, walking dildo cares only about Juliette. his excuse in ignite me 'i did it all for my mom' doesn't make any sense now, because he actually doesn't give a flying fuck about her/

he gets captures one minute after he “kills” Anderson;

nazeera is the one who gets him out of there;

super soldier taught his whole life how to survive, everyone. useless as fuck)

He doesn’t know anything about jewelry.

(super ooc, i know what Mafi was trying to do here: she tried ‘sherlock holmes doesn’t know that earth revolves around the sun’ thing Arthur Conan Doyle did, but the problem is WARNER IS A FASHIONISTA, or he was).

He wants to get married because…???

He sees a woman who tried to kill Juliette and he’s a-okay with staying at her place, because she said that it was actually a message (???).

Castle is still alive.

Nazeera who knew all this time about Anderson and was working for him is also alive and well.

Oh and he doesn’t care about Anderson being alive and being a real threat to Juliette (fucking her is more important for him, as usual).

His complete disregard for Juliette’s safety only makes me hate him more with every new book.

Imagine me.

First and foremost: don’t call imagine-me Warner shatter-me Warner. Don’t insult shatter-me Warner like that. With shatter-me Warner Anderson would have to try very hard to get to Juliette. It would be ‘Warner made 100 back-up plans, but Anderson knew him too well and created 101 plan and that’s how he managed to win’ kind of situations.

But walking dildo is too busy feeling sorry for himself (as usual), he just sits by her bed FOR TWO FUCKING DAYS, doing absolutely NOTHING to make sure she’ll be safe.

Nooira says that Juliette should be killed and she’s still alive for some reason.

He’s entire persona is that he’s rude to people (but not bbc’s sherlock holmes kind of rude, when he’s unbearable dick but he’s actually smart and really gets shit done, so we can tolerate him). He’s just rude.

He doesn't care about Adam or James's wellbeing (remember Ignite me Warner who really wanted a family? Yeah that's him now).

But he has gruppies now, because he’s hot and everyone in the sanctuary wants to fuck him.

Oh and he proposed to Juliette. HE PROPOSED. THEY ENGAGED! DO YOU HEAR ME??? THEY GONNA BE MARRIED! HE PROPOSED TO HER! AND SHE SAID YES! THEY GONNA MERRY!

Because god fucking forbid we forget about it.

(mafi really thinks that her readers have the mental capacity of a golden fish, huh?)

I lost count how many times walking dildo implies that he's gonna kill himself if Juliette is not with him (disgusting).

Then our walking dildo cures Juliette by the power of petting (it’s not power of love, lads and gents; you want to see love go watch defenders on netflix; mafi already copypasted elektra’s arch from that show into imagine-me Juliette, you can do yourself a favor and see how this trope can be executed without borderline on sexual assault petting scene).

18-old girl marries a fucking sociopath believing he’s actually a good person.

(we all know how shit like this ends, people like that don't change; and this 'he's different with me cuz i'm very special and i'm gonna teach him the right way' it's really harmful message considering that the audience of those books are mostly teenage girls).

Trust me, there's nothing revolutionary in this trope, it's tale as old as time.

Here's the thing, good written character always defined by connection to other people: friend, lovers, enemies, family, foes, acquaintances, even some random strangers. It's the easiest way to establish what kind of person they are.

Walking dildo doesn't have any of that because all of his "character" revolves around Juliette. He's not a person anymore. By the end of Imagine me he doesn't have friends (his relationships with Kenji or Haider non-existent), no family connections (no talks with Adam or James), even enemies or foes or even people that don't like him (because everyone wants to fuck him, because being hot is his only character trait).

His only family and friend is Juliette. And you know what? It's fucking boring, overdone and lazy as fuck. And insulting to the character he once was.

No redemption arch, no character arch at all.

Happy end.

[momoliee]

Hi....if you don't mind me asking, can I ask, who are your top 5 favorite TGCF characters? And why do you like them? Sorry if you've answered this question before....

Hi it’s totally fine!

[1. Mu Qing 2. Xie Lian 3. Pei Ming 4. Shi Qingxuan 5. He Xuan] [Honorary mentions : Hua Cheng and Quan Yizhen]

1. Mu Qing : born on the lower class side of an elitist, classist country, mu Qing had to work from a very young age to prove for his poor, sick mother. He’s had to endure the constant flaunting and bullying of the rich, endure being looked down upon and treated as dirt even tho those people weren’t much better than him in terms of cultivation or sword ability. Then he meets the crown prince and his body guard, and despite this guy being a filthy rich royalty, he still extends a kind hand, still treats him as an equal. It’s why for the first time, Mu Qing actually feels less, he feels inferior in terms of personality and wealth and capability and just, in terms of everything. Mu Qing then has to battle to incompatible emotions within him : jealousy and admiration. But mu Qing knows what’s right and what’s not, so he shoves the jealousy deep deep down cause Xie lian is his FRIEND, Xie lian is the guy who helped him. Yes they fall out, and it’s all mu qing’s fault for acting so cowardly, but not a day passes that he doesn’t spend it feeling guilty and horrible and hating his own existence for what he’s done. And when they meet again, he can’t confront him, can’t face him with what he’s done. So he acts like a little dick and picks on him. Helping him without telling anyone. You know, just being a tsundere. Their reconciliation is my favorite part, mu Qing admitting to all his thoughts and faults, and with all the vulnerability that he never allowed himself to ever expose, he reaches out a hand and asks to be his friend. Deep down hes a good guy, it’s just that he happens to be a prideful coward and an ass on the surface tho. (I can write a whole meta analysis on him but there are still 4 more characters so imma stop here)

2. Xie lian : I initially thought he was gonna be like, the stereotypical extremely nice and kind character who always smiles in the face or hardship and never complains. Basically the vanilla character that ive stopped liking a long long time ago. But he surprised me. Xie lian is an extremely three dimensional character who isn’t always kind or nice. Xie lian cries, complains, screams and yells, lashes out and WILL go full apeshit mode when hes driven to his limit. He will blame others for not seeing how hard he’s trying, but he will still continue to try anyway. He thought that kindness was the easiest choice to make, only to realize that kindness is the kind of choice that only matters when you still make it despite being UNABLE to afford making it. What does it mean to be rich and donate a small portion of your money compared to being poor and donating the only meal you managed to find to someone who is more in need. It’s why I love him. He’s a traumatized character through and through and him finally being allowed to heal is like a balm on my heart.

3. Pei ming : beloved manwhore, most precious slut of ours. The comic relief, hualian’s number one shipper and supporter and fan. Cleanest member of the heaven (besides fenqing). This man will have his fling then shower the woman with riches and make sure she’s well taken care of even if the sparks of desire have long since been extinguished. The most charming. Covering up for his friends no matter what. I just, I love him ok.

4. SQX : I’ve always found her/him extremely endearing and was always so so fond of him/her. She’s bubbly and kind and would always listen to you and never turn a deaf ear to a cry of help. But she wouldn’t complain, no matter what befell her she would take it without so much as a protest. The kind of friend everyone needs, especially Xie lian. The kind of sunshine energy that we all need some of tbh

5. He xuan : (this post is too long so im just shortening the metas bit by bit) extremely complex character, had everything taken from him, suffered some of the absolute worst trauma that he couldn’t recover from, and after being thoroughly emptied out, he filled himself up with revenge in order to keep going. Cause how else was he gonna keep going? Met someone who may or may not have made the years easier on him, only for said person to abandon him too. And after his revenge was complete, he went back to the initial emptiness, this pointlessness that dwells deep within him that he can’t get rid of. Idk I just find him very very tragic

Honorary mentions : Hua Cheng for obvious reasons and qyz because he’s the Goodest autistic boy who only ever wants to repay the people who were kind to him with 10x the kindness

[ectonurites]

My least favorite type of fic!Tim is when he’s portrayed as depressed/very mentally and emotionally unstable, but also at the same time as someone who is like lauded as being super dangerous/the most skilled or something like that?? Those fics where Tim is chugging caffeine and barely sleeping, but characters are still like “oh I wouldn’t wanna piss off Tim he is Dangerous” and that’s annoying enough but then there are fics that at the same time as that portray him as like on the edge of a breakdown. It’s very irritating even if I’m not sure I can articulate exactly why, it just really rubs me the wrong way. Like, I definitely do think Tim has some issues with depression and stuff, but in fics like those it’s treated more like a quirk sort of instead of a serious issue

LMAOO I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT i’m not a fan of that either. I’m apologizing in advance if I sound mean in any of this critique i’m about to give of that fanon version of him. I want to preface this by saying that people can write whatever the hell they want, like, they’re allowed to! And I’m not referencing/calling out any specific works here. Just trends. But I’m gonna bitch about some things I’ve noticed that annoy me, personally. (so again, not saying other people can’t enjoy this stuff! just. not for me)

so like sorry if im mean but this is just me ranting and also this is my blog anyways so:

(nobody take this as an attack on them please because it’s really not)

The problem is a lot of those fics seem to interpret Tim’s behavior in Red Robin (& especially like that last whole arc of his Robin run also by FabNic) as if that’s his normal, rather than the result of a few years of CONSTANT traumatic incidents pushing him to a breaking point (because while all the shit he went through with his Dad, Steph, Kon, Bart, and then Bruce dying was spread out over several years for us as readers, it’s regarded as like within two years in canon! It all happens when he’s 16 and 17. According to the Batman comic right after War Games, Jack was murdered only days after Steph died.

(Batman #634)

That’s a LOT to process for one kid jesus christ) 

I love Red Robin honestly, I do, but it is about Tim at the lowest points in his life. It’s the grand finale of Tim’s story, and everything crumbles, that’s kinda the point! The end leaves him in a position to either rebuild himself or fall apart. It’s all about how he chooses to continue after this point!

(Red Robin #26)

The way he acts and the things he does in that comic should be regarded as such. He can’t live the way he does in Red Robin forever or he will literally burn himself out/become something unrecognizable, like, jesus it’s kinda even acknowledged in the comic when he thinks about what his potential futures would be if he keeps it up like he’s doing:

(Red Robin #25)

He sees himself as dead, as Batman (which he has countless times said he doesn’t want to be and at this point in his history almost every time he’s seen a future he became Batman in he had become a killer), or needing to retire and taking over an Oracle-esque role, likely because he exerted himself too much to continue. 

When you look at him around this same timeframe when he’s not isolating himself/too deep into the mission and is instead working with his friends back on the Titans, you can see that he is starting to heal and work in a more positive direction. He’s choosing to work on coming out of this rough period by being together with his friends who he loves.

(Teen Titans (2003) #100)

Not to say that you can’t write about situations in which he doesn’t start to come out of it, but if you are doing so it’s something you should be taking seriously because that’s the idea you want to explore, not just acting like it’s perfectly okay or normal? (And again, there are a lot of works that do explore it in good ways, there’s just also a LOT that don’t)

Like, so much content I see just make any sadness and depression and tendency to over-work himself that’s rooted in his traumas (which! those do have a basis in canon!) into a quirky personality trait rather than a response to trauma. Acting as if he’s always been this way and it’s normal for him. That’s what bothers me. If people want to seriously explore the effects of all these incidents and how that plays into his ability to do his job as a hero, then hell yes do it! But when it all gets brushed off as ‘oh thats just tim, he just doesnt eat or sleep or feel any happiness but like its fine he’s just always been like that’ I feel my blood boil. 

This also often strikes me as related/tied to fanon’s seemingly never-ending quest to make Tim into this victim of so many things he really wasn’t. They make his childhood 10x worse than it actually was (yes he was lonely because he was sent to boarding schools rather than having his parents around, but he was NOT just left home alone all the time as a child. 

(Batman #441)

He snuck away during a school vacation week to follow Bruce one (1) time and to then track down Dick. This is established in his introduction story! PLEASE read Lonely Place of Dying!) and it just... going with those fanon assumptions as being true changes so much of how people characterize him! 

Some people will also (not to call out tim/kon shippers especially because I  literally am also one but) vilify the shit out of Steph and make their relationship out to be some abusive thing rather than just... a messy teen relationship between vigilantes because they had really complicated lives and baggage with one another? Which they both acknowledge they made mistakes in!

(Red Robin #10)

Or people will vilify the shit out of Dick in regards to the situation at the start of Red Robin, or literally just make anyone who Tim ever had a disagreement with out to be the bad guy despite the actual situations always being way more complex and multi-faceted than that.

And then on top of all that, aside from making him into this ‘im broken 24/7 and not doing anything to fix it also everyone around me is terrible to me’ type of character, because he’s a lot of people’s favorite, they also want him to be as cool and strong as he is at his high points. So they’re projecting all this stuff onto him that makes him what should be a barely functioning person but then also act like that’s fine and he’s able to be a dangerous badass on top of it. 

Like I’m sorry but someone who is going out and actively acting as a vigilante like that which is incredibly physically taxing is NOT surviving on coffee alone and no sleep. That’s literally not possible, he’d fucking collapse. (And like, again, if you want to explore him pushing himself to that point, that’s one thing! but acting like he can manage all of that for more than a few days at a time/maybe while working on one really tough case is nuts!) and like, even canon can be a little guilty of this type of thing particularly since the New 52 (Detective Comics 2016 had more than a few references to him barely sleeping, but at least they also made references to him eating normally/healthily and he wasn’t completely self isolating or anything) (and also that comic had him be so self sacrificial he was ready to die to save everyone and only didn’t die because of Mr.Oz’s interference, he’s definitely not in his best place there) but usually it’s still within some realm of possibility.

Also like. The fanon ‘chugging coffee to survive thing’ just annoys the shit out of me because, like, yes there’s a few moments in canon where he’s under a lot of pressure and pushing himself further than he normally would and had some coffee (one of the only times I can even remember him having it on panel is... oh... during that last Robin arc I just mentioned a little while ago shouldn’t be where you source your normal characterization of him because it’s a very difficult situation that pushes him further than he normally would go! huh!) But the thing is like, people play it off for laughs, or like it’s a normal thing he would do at any time in his life! If you want to explore him pushing himself and using coffee as a crutch, like, there’s ways you can write it that takes it seriously, but almost every time I see it come up in fics it is like a core part of his personality and just ‘oh haha silly tim always with his entire pot of coffee he must chug every morning or he’ll die :^)’ And that bothers the hell out of me. 

In general it’s just... people treat Tim so weird. They want him to be so many different things that he’s shown himself to be at different times for very specific reasons, except they want him to do all of it at the same time which just doesn’t work. A person can’t function like that, and it’s not even close to who he is in canon. 

Again, people can do what they want, and this is just my opinion obviously, but yeah. My two cents on the matter.  Read Lonely Place of Dying, read Young Justice, read his Robin run. Read his comics and get a feel for who he was before all the rest of his trauma, and see how he canonically reacts to it along the way. I know reading comics can be tough for some people but so much stuff just echo chambers and becomes barely recognizable in this fandom and it’s just... a shame when it happens with a character ya love. 

[angelic-serenade]

Alastor + disaster cook! S/O

headcanons

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

gif, original work and characters do not belong to me

you could not cook to save your life

any attempt at cooking would result in certain failure in the best case scenario and 5.4 magnitude earthquake damage in the worst

sure, you could make edible pasta and if you really put your best efforts into it, acceptable omelette too

but anything past that level of complexity was simply out of your league, a lost cause to put it mildly

don't you even think about making a cake, that shit's dangerous

as they say: as above so below

when you landed in Hell and found yourself joining the Happy Hotel soon after, you came to find out your culinary skills had not magically improved

which is quite ironic since Charlie had made you head chef of the hotel

the string of curses which had left your lips upon hearing the news had been legendary, even for Hell

you adored the demon princess with your whole heart (or whatever was left of it anyway), bUT REALLY CHARLIE? YOU DO NOT GIVE A GUN TO A CHILD AND EXPECT CASUALTIES NOT TO HAPPEN

at this point you were certain she was subconsciously auto-sabotaging

either way, you didn't have the heart to tell her no, so you decided to put your heart and soul into trying to learn how to properly cook, which didn't turn out to be the ideal choice of words since you were in Hell and your soul was probably rotten to the core

at least, nobody could say you hadn't tried your damn best

and hey! some days your cooking hadn't even been completely sickening

you decided to stick to easy, “safe” dishes though, you know, just to be sure

so pasta and eggs were definitely a thing

a constant and repetitive thing to be precise

you were trying your best, okay? nobody in your place with your limited set of skills would have taken the job, but you did and you deserved recognition for that feat alone

or a fucking donkey hat for your skyrocketing dumbness levels

things were not so bad at first

both Charlie and Vaggie were very supportive, each one of them in their own way - even though you had totally seen Charlie trying to swallow pure unadulterated fear that one time you had announced you wanted to try to cook something more elaborate

Angel Dust on the other hand... hadn't been as considerate as to lie to your face about what he thought of your cooking

"fuck me doll, this shit's disgusting"

*insert the I don't have friends they disappoint me vine here*

Vaggie had proceeded to give Angel quite the earful while Charlie tried her best to cheer you up

you went full hermit mode on them for two days after that

you were proud of yourself, handling criticism so well

anyway, the cycle kept repeating, with the only difference that most days Angel would grab something to eat outside of the hotel and join you during meals only to blankly stare at the plates and silvery

Charlie had tried to shield you from the truth, but you weren't that stupid

you respected Angel's choice, really, you did, and you had decided to be the bigger person among the two

that's why you began to put a lil bit of laxative into his portions whenever he decided to grace your efforts and actually eat your "disgusting cooking"

y’know just to spicy things up a little

at least now he had a valid reason to complain

with the whole fiasco on live TV and the sudden and suspicious appearence of the one and only Radio Demon at your doorstep, however, things started going haywire

Alastor's presence was eeirly demanding and unsettlingly charmimg at the same time

so it was only natural for you to gravitate the fuck away from him whenever you could

you always acted politely, greeting him whenever you bumped into him through the corridors of the hotel, but you only went as far as to appear courteous because you didn't want for him to go Hannibal Lecter on you. thanks, no thanks

“and what can you do my feminine fellow?”

“I can suck your dick!”

you had snorted a bit at that which immediately shifted the strawberry pimp's attention to yourself

“and what about you, pretty dame? I take it you're in charge of the kitchens around here?”

dressed in your chef attire, you were going to meekly answer him, but before you could, roaring laughter erupted in the room. it belonged to the one and only slutty spider you found oh so irritating

in the fraction of seconds, Alastor snapped his neck at an unnatural angle to stare at the spider with a strained smile on his face

needless to say, the cursed image would forever haunt your traumatized psyche

“hasn't your mother taught you it is rude to interrupt a conversation which you have no part in? that just won't do!”

static filled the air and you feared you were going to implode if the heavy pressure didn't lift off soon enough, so you decided to take action

“ugh... yes, I'm the head chef! but, well, I... could actually use some practice and proper training?”

you hated how uncertain you sounded, but Angel's comments and your own dissatisfaction with your culinary products made you quite self-conscious about your skills

“don't fret your pretty little head about it, my dear! I, for one, am a culinary connaisseur and wonderful chef, if I do say so myself. I'll be ecstatic to guide you through your training!”

how you'd be able to handle his booming voice during hours and hours of practice was your first and main concern, but you had never been one to refuse the chance to finally prove the people who had criticized you wrong *cough cough* Angel Dust

since that day, Alastor began to personally give you cooking lessons

he was exuberant and pretty sly when it came to veiled jabs about your dreadful cooking, but he really took his time to help you out

which you had been both grateful and suspicious about

“now, we can't have our future patrons starving to death, can we?”

he was strangely patient and an overall good teacher too (emphasis on overall)

he guided you step by step through each dish, simultaneously showing off his own flawless culinary skills

you hated that you daily found yourself boosting his already GIGANTIC ego, but you couldn't help it. you could only dream about reaching that level of artistry in cooking

he always came up with creative recipes to test your limits and cooked for you in order to make you more familiar with different tastes. his mother’s were your favorites, jambalaya being his one true specialty 

he had blindfolded you once and proceeded to present you with various samples of spices, oilments and all kinds of food so that you could acquaint yourself with the smells and flavors of the ingredients and figure out yourself which ones would best suit a certain dish

saying you were hesitant at first was an understatement, because you know? being completely at the mercy of a sadistic serial killer who had terrorized the seven circles of hell? not even being able to see him? not on your bucket list

he had tried to ease your nervousness with the whole “if I wanted to hurt anyone here, I would have done so already” thing, but it was getting kind of old pretty fast

“if I had been one to play with fire, I'd have joined a circus”

he found your sense of humor as endearing your sheer presence

(when he rolled up his sleeves to cook, you felt like you could catch fire any minute, you were a slut for strong skinny arms) 

yes, Alastor had always loved to show off his own impeccable skills but he unexpectedly found himself enjoying the moments spent in your company too

he relished in seeing you fail again and again, but he also admired the way you always managed to bring yourself back up to your feet each time

he had yet to fully understand if it was foolishness or stubbornness to guide your steps

either way, you turned out to be his favorite form of entertainment in the hotel!

no matter how many slights would he send your way, you'd always manage to find an appropriate remark that made his permanent smile stretch a little more in sheer amusement

“oh dear, this beef is so undercooked one could still hear the poor beast’s lament”

“the only noise I hear is the obnoxious ramblings of an arrogant boomer”

he wasn't technically a boomer but it was always so satisfying to irk him with terms he had no knowledge of

during your cooking lessons, when the only thing left to do with a dish was wait and pray for the best, you'd come to talk about everything and anything

he'd talk to you about his precious New Orleans as he remembered it and you'd fill him in on recent historical/social developments of your time

he always looked so taken when you shared with him that modern knowledge and it made you feel useful for a change

it was, dare you say it, almost adorable how he'd ask you countless questions about your home town, the catastrophes of the last century and had there been any other war since his death?

the topic switches almost made you dizzy though

once or twice, when the timing allowed, he'd even indulge in a musical show to pass time

on the days your mood soured because of a particularly complicated recipe or bad result, he'd drag you along and dance until you were so distracted by the absurdness of the circumstances that you forgot about your previous sadness

with time, his musical shows became more frequent as he realized you'd always offer him a genuine smile after his flashy performances

it was out of personal indulgence, not because he liked the way his music always seemed to cheer you up

he'd not been vocal about the way he tried to comfort you, but you were grateful nonetheless

the first time you managed to succesfully complete one of his complicated recipes, you had almost cried

“now, now deary, under my watchful eye, it was only a matter of time until you'd finally blossom into a fine cook!”

“Alastor can I... can I hug you?”

and how could he say no to such an adorable expression? he found himself stunned into silence, not being able to tell you yes either, therefore you slowly came closer as if trying not to scare a wild animal away

when Alastor passively stood before you, not moving away, you wrapped your arms around him

he really was such a dorky noodle

he didn't relax into the hug, but he kept still as you relished in the moment and let the pressure you had hoarded for months now loose

Alastor proceeded to show off your dish during dinner and even Angel Dust could do nothing but shut up and dig in

The all powerful Radio Demon was simply so proud of your progress - not that he doubted you'd prevail in the end, thanks to his expertise and guidance

from that moment onward things only got better and even if you didn't necessarily need Alastor's help anymore, neither of you ever mentioned going your separate ways

you were both secretly glad for the silent agreement

friendly banter and dad jokes were a daily occurrence and with your new-found confidence in the field, you'd always bite back showing off new delicious dishes instead than words

you still had trouble every now and then, but Alastor was always there to help you out

not that you'd ever hear the end of it if you actually asked him for help

“what was that, my darling? is the mightiest chef in Hell having trouble in Paradise?”

you had noticed however that he'd started sneaking glances your way more than usual lately and he also started following you around wherever you went in the hotel. he became your shadow both inside and outside of the kitchen

the attention soon became unnerving, even more so when you'd go in the kitchen only find a different flower on the counter each morning

you came to realize that Alastor's advances were rather old fashioned, but you would amuse the dork and yourself for a while before taking charge

gifts became an ordinary occurrence as well as praise and you preferred not to think about what praise could do to you when it came from Alastor

he enjoyed your reactions to his flattering words a little too much, he had to admit

you had had enough of his childish antics one day and you decided to finally put your plan into action

“Al, can you come here for one sec?”

he wasn't particularly fond of the nickname, but you just loved to get under his skin as much as he did when it came to you

“what can I do for you, my darling chef?”

“here, I have a gift for you”

he looked uncharacteristically unsure of what to do but slightly amused as well. in the end curiosity took the best of him and he finally decided to open the box you had handed to him rather unceremoniously

“what is this dear?”

the apron you had chosen was a perfect fit for your long boi

“read it, please”

“kiss the cook? well, if you ask me so nicely, I just might have to”

he then proceeded to peck your cheek and you swore you could have fainted right there and then by the sheer sweetness of the gesture

it hadn't exactly been what you had planned, but you weren't going to complain

your relationship was bound to be full of surprises apparently

[makeste]

literally just a giant post of Bakugou faces.

today, 4/20 (actually it is very much still only 4/19 over here, but to heck with it, we’re getting an early start dammit), is Bakugou Katsuki’s birthday. and as someone who loves Bakugou and who also hasn’t found much worth rejoicing about in April 2020 in general, it’s important to me to celebrate the shit out of this day. but these are strange times and I am le tired, and so what my tired brain ended up arriving at was “just do a post about how much you love his stupid face.”

so these are my favorite Bakugou faces. I stopped after Kacchan vs. Deku because this post was already like 100k words (slight exaggeration) with like 40,000 faces (slight), and because this already took forever and the next 130-something chapters were only going to have about one fifth as many good faces compared to the first 120, even though there are some good ones there still to be sure. but anyway, so there are no spoilers here. 

happy birthday Kacchan, and happy birthday to Kacchan’s angsty side profile with his hair covering his eyes.

why I like it: he scured.

lol but seriously. because up until this point he’s just been a complete asshole. even after he gets grabbed by sludgeman, he’s all “AS IF I’D LET THIS MUDMAN TAKE MY BODY FOR HIMSELF”, and he’s all feral-looking, and at first you’re like “eh he’ll be fine.” but then along comes this panel to serve as our narrator saying “he was not fine.” because he really is not. and on the page before this too, you can see how tired and desperate his struggles are starting to get. and absolutely no one is trying to help him. and he’s fighting, he’s straining, but he can’t. fucking. breathe.

and then this panel. and he’s just a kid. he looks so very, very young here, like this is the youngest he looks throughout the entire series except for in his flashbacks, and it’s because all the pride and bluster and anger are stripped away and he’s just a boy underneath it and he’s scared. “you looked like you needed saving.” exactly. exactly. and for Katsuki to actually ask for help is so rare. so you know that when he does ask (and he absolutely was begging for someone to come help him even though he couldn’t vocalize it. credit to Horikoshi for conveying all of that emotion in a single panel), he really, really needs it. thankfully there was one person watching who finally snapped himself out of that “a hero’s bound to come along soon” mindset that had everyone else gripped, and realized that he needed to be that hero.

why I like it: because he’s humiliated and fairly shaken up and also the most handsome he’s looked up until this point, but most of all he’s just chewing his lip and being all “god fucking dammit did fucking Deku really just save me, fuck my life, why is the universe fucking dumb.” like even after this hugely traumatizing experience, he’s incredibly resilient to the point where after he calms down, his lingering emotions are mainly just “smdh this is a new level of irritated even for me.” he is so brave and thickheaded and tough and absurdly, ridiculously petty jesus christ.

why I like it: like the old man said. his face just screams “I’m a rotten thief.”

there’s so much personality in this one expression. and then it’s juxtaposed against proto!Katsuki who I really desperately just want to punch in the face. just. my son my be a dick, but by god he’s an honest dick.

why I like it: baby?? cute baby??? mine?? my baby?!?

he’s just like. “I got it all figured out. gosh I’m so good at life.” that is the face of a child who has never encountered a single difficulty in his very young existence. everything is easy and he expects to be good at everything and he always is and he’s so, so pleased with himself. with a kid that little you really don’t want to go and shatter their dreams just yet, but maybe someone should have taken him down just a peg or two before it all got out of hand. alas. he was so cute that nobody wanted to and I can’t even blame them because he’s just that fucking cute, though.

why I like it: this is a very underrated panel which I think most people probably don’t even recall. it’s from chapter 11 just after he loses to Deku and Iida, and specifically right after Momo just completely lays into him and explains in vivid detail exactly how stupid every single one of his decisions was lmao. and it’s like he’s just had his eyes opened. he talks about her speech later, too, so it clearly had an impact.

there is no pride here at all. initially when I was reading this, I thought he was still shell-shocked. but looking back at it, and knowing what I do now about his unexpected willingness to accept criticism (something I certainly wouldn’t have expected during my first readthrough of this chapter), I think this is also a genuine “!” face as he realizes that she’s completely fucking right. YOU DONE GOOFED SON. but it’s okay because he learned from it!

also look how big his eyes are. when they get all wide like that. it’s so rare that I have to appreciate each and every time it happens. also he has no right to have such thick eyelashes. goddammit.

why I like it: because he’s strongest at his moment of weakness! because he’s upset but he learned from it! because he is such a strikingly human character with such complex emotions and there’s such a lovely mix of them on display here and that shit is my weakness! because this is when I signed the adoption papers (well, had them finalized after I initially obtained them after the “you looked like you needed saving” face in chapter 1, at least)!! because he always cries in front of Deku and doesn’t get embarrassed, but then he does get embarrassed if anyone else shows up! because his emotions around Deku are so raw and out of control! because the intensity of them is as compelling as it is confusing! but mostly because someone showing fierce determination while simultaneously showing intense vulnerability is basically the cheat code to unlocking my heart, and also the best thing anyone can ever draw in a shounen manga. thank you I’ll take infinity of them.

why I like it: because half of 1-A saw this face and instantly thought “fuck that’s hot” and then went “!! oh fuck me” but it was too late! that’s right kids. even knowing firsthand what a trashpile he can be, you’re still not immune to his charms. that confidence, though.

why I like it: the face of a boy who has just realized that holy shit, there are other people in his class. nothing gets past him. his reflexes are too fast.

why I like it: the slow motion (this is such a cool moment even if it’s at his expense lol), and the fact that this is such a weird and totally unique expression, and yet he somehow almost manages to make it look good. actually he does make it look good, let’s be real. of course, this was back when Horikoshi had more time to roll up his sleeves and really get into the art. look at all that shading goddamn.

why I like it: he cares!! he has feelings!! he has concern about someone other than him omfg whaaaaaat.

he’s so unsettled by what he just heard about Todoroki. the guy who was so strong and cool turned out to have an absolutely horrifying shounen protagonist past that he never let on about. honestly this scene is one of the reasons why I’m so strongly in favor of not interpreting Katsuki’s parents as abusive; because I just really like the character arc of him actually having a pretty good childhood, all things considered, but still having all these problems. because sometimes people actually do have everything going for them and yet they still screw up, because people are only human and sometimes you can fuck up (or be fucked up) even on easy mode! and if that happens it doesn’t mean you’re any more to blame, or more worthy of derision or scorn, or that you already had your chance so screw you, or any of that! anyway so that’s just such an interesting and relatively rare thing to explore and so I like it.

anyway. so just, the idea of him thinking of Todoroki as someone who had it made all his life, only to realize that’s not actually the case at all and that he’s actually the privileged one in comparison, just makes for a really great character-building moment. it’s a really big wake up call for him, especially given that he’s so often just wrapped up in himself and his own concerns still at this stage of the game. and it’s a moment that has a lasting impact on him and that he doesn’t forget, and it helps contribute to him starting to learn more empathy.

why I like it: my child is rabid please help.

but he’s so happy to have Ochako prove to be such an unexpectedly worthwhile opponent. she was sneaky and she nearly got him and he only just made it out by the skin of his teeth and fuck yes, that was awesome. he was really ready to throw down some more with her and it was gonna be the highlight of his fucking day. I just love seeing him acknowledge other people’s strength, because we know the value he places on being strong. so that’s a ton of respect from him, and Ochako fucking earned it, and this is just a great moment.

why I like it: just casually spittin facts and launching ships. nothing to see here move along.

why I like it: for everyone reblogging that one scene of shoujou!Bakugou from the anime over and over again, I just want to remind you all that as great as that scene is, we shouldn’t forget that in the manga he can be effortlessly handsome without even trying.

why I like it: as I said above.

why I like it: another one of the infamous “haah!?” faces. whenever he does these that one raised-eyebrow eye always goes so wide, and even though he’s trying to look like a pissed off thug it always makes him look surprisingly young instead.

also I’m not crazy for seriously wondering if Horikoshi’s art peaked all the way back in the sports festival arc though, right?? you honestly can’t find a bad panel even if you specifically go out and look for them.

why I like it: babyyyy.

I still don’t get how anyone could watch this scene and not get that he was way more upset than he was actually angry. he looks like he’s about to cry honestly.

why I like it: MY PRECIOUS SON’S ANGELIC SLEEPING FACE. all tuckered out. he’s had a hard day.

but seriously when you smooth out all of the >:O it is amazing how young he actually looks though. this one panel is shaded in such a way that you can see that he still has baby fat in his cheeks!! he’s just a little boy! HE IS A LITTLE CHILD LIKE THE REST OF THEM AND YOU MADE HIM PARTICIPATE IN THESE HUNGER GAMES AND HE KICKED ASS AND THEN GOT SAD AND YOU MADE HIM SLEEP AND CHAINED HIM TO A POST WHEN HE WOKE UP ANGRY AND TRYING TO BITE PEOPLE. anyways what a whirlwind of events huh.

why I like it: this child is literally trembling. he has been shaken to his very core. also for real though how did Jeanist even do that. anyways great internship or greatest internship.

why I like it: this is from chapter 60, right after he basically declares war on Deku and says he’ll crush him during final exams. then he turns around and is just like AND LET’S NOT FORGET THIS ASSHOLE HERE!!! and his eyes are practically bulging out and Todoroki just has his trademark “!!!” totally blank stare. this panel fully kills me guys.

why I like it: how was he THE CUTEST CHILD WHO EVER LIVED?? look at his little fists?! I can’t even deal with this???

why I like it: I actually like this one even more than the more iconic “the strongest heroes always win in the end” panel right below it, because in this panel you can more clearly see that he was crying quite a lot (he was only six!!), but it seems to me that it was more because of the unfairness of it than because he was hurt. even though he was hurt. but these jerks bumped into him and then acted like it was his fault, and it was two against one and he was much younger than them and IT’S JUST ROUGH YOU GUYS! LIFE IS HARD WHEN YOU’RE SIX! but he’s a little tough guy though so he scrubs the tears away in this very clumsy and boyish fashion because HE WON ANYWAY SO TAKE THAT! he is so little but already so determined.

why I like it: his eyes are just so intense all the time. even when it’s not an intense moment at all. also the dot shading here is so cool.

why I like it: okay so technically it’s the back of his head and not his face. but I feel like the fact that Kacchan was twitching and flinching and shaking too doesn’t get enough attention in this scene. he and Todo were both wigging out here and I love it. during the third light novel he also gets freaked out by the whole Disney Channel “we were telling a ghost story but now it seems like the story has come to life” plot that goes on at one point, just fyi. Kacchan is absolutely that kid who will refuse to watch scary movies just because “they’re dumb” and definitely NOT because he is scared, how fucking dare you sir.

why I like it: because this is the first of many scenes in this arc and the next arc in which he is freaking out but doing an excellent job of covering it up with his natural ferocity. he and Shouto have just come across one of their classmates’ arms lying in the middle of the path being chewed on by a villain in a straitjacket. his first reaction is to ask Shouto which of their classmates had been out on the path in front of them. he has immediately put two and two together, and he is immediately ready to throw hands with this dude, rules or no rules. but you can see the shading over his eyes though, and I think that -- along with the sweat visible on his face -- is a huge indicator of how horrifying this actually is to him.

why I like it: because this blank “processing...” expression that he sometimes gets when a lot of people are talking at once and he’s not really sure but he is pretty sure that he doesn’t like where this is heading, is my favorite.

why I like it: because even now it’s still ambiguous just what exactly was the prevailing emotion in these eyes and this expression, and the prevailing sentiment behind the “stay back.” I happen to think it was fear! not the same overwhelming, helpless fear as the 14-year-old who was caught up in the sludge, but a very on-edge, controlled-panic fear of a 16-year-old who’s trying to remain in control because he’s a hero in training now. and I think the “stay back” is the “stay back” of a boy who knows the look in that other boy’s eyes, and knows that it’s no use this time. it’s not protective, and it’s not hostile or defensive either. it’s just... resigned. don’t do it, Deku. that could have been the last thing he ever said to him, and it was measured and brave even through his fear and I love him so much.

why I like it: this is one which has to be viewed in juxtaposition with the panel immediately above it lol. Tomura looks like he could literally stare a man to death with those crazy eyes, and Kacchan is comparison just looks so ridiculously young and small and out of his league. but he doesn’t crack. but his eyes are super wide and even the shadows underneath them are stressed almost to their breaking point. like I’m screwed I’m screwed I’m so goddamn fucking screwed oh shit. my baby, guh. this was such a fucking scary experience though for real??

why I like it: same deal as above lol. this whole situation just keeps getting worse and worse, and here he’s just probing for more information while simultaneously trying to buy himself more time to think of a miracle plan. there really isn’t much chance of him getting out of here unscathed at this point (or at least there wouldn’t have been if the heroes hadn’t shown up), but I don’t think he’s letting himself think about that yet. but I’m sure it’s there at the back of his mind all the same.

why I like it: this is my favorite Bakugou face ever. SO MANY EMOTIONS. All Might came to save him! his hero!! he beat the bad guys (or so they think for that brief moment anyway) and it’s all okay now! he was alone but now he’s not anymore and All Might is there! and he is relieved, and he actually lets his guard down to show it for just a split second! his lip is trembling! I don’t think he even realizes for a moment, and then he does, and he immediately goes all tough guy again and the moment is gone! but while it’s there! it’s so much! I have never so badly wanted to hug a fictional character in my life.

why I like it: don’t you think this person could one day inspire thousands of others. do you see this courage in those eyes. the way he pushes past fear and panic and fatigue. don’t think, don’t doubt. just win.

why I like it: by now you have probably detected a pattern of me liking all of the Kamino faces because he was going through so many emotions that for once the walls just couldn’t keep up. he always looks so much younger when he’s not making >: faces. everything just smooths out. I also like that Horikoshi never makes his expressions symmetrical; he almost always has one eye wider than the other, eyebrows doing different things, stuff like that.

also this is when he sees All Might’s true form for the first time, and you can just see it hit him like a punch to the gut. All Might weakened; All Might weakened because of him; All Might might lose (!?!); All Might might die???? Katsuki’s entire world is falling apart in an instant, and in this moment he’s just a little boy.

why I like it: it beginsss. the angstening.

he’s not even resisting the hand guiding him. none of his usual unruliness or general aura of barely-checked rage. he just looks tired. and completely lost in his own thoughts. which as we now know were not good. I cannot fucking believe we had to wait another 25 chapters after this to finally get this kid a damn hug.

why I like it: because Bakugou Mitsuki is fulfilling my (and dating sim!Momo’s) lifelong dream of ruffling Bakugou Katsuki’s (spiky yet fluffy!!) hair. and all he can do is just chew his lip and halfheartedly glare at her all “mooooooOOOOmmm.” he doesn’t even really look pissed off here (because it’s hard to be mad when someone is talking about how worried they were about you and how relieved they are that you’re safe now, especially when that someone is your mom who isn’t normally the type to be so open about this kind of stuff at all), just begrudgingly grumpy. and I swear to god his bottom lip is made of fucking rubber the way he moves it around, just look at it.

why I like it: those eyelashes though!?!? [grabs Katsuki by the shoulders and shakes him roughly] WHY ARE YOUR EYES SO PRETTY.

why I like it: this is right after he found out he flunked the license exam, and you can see how upset he is. obviously we now know that shortly thereafter he went and had a complete meltdown. and buddy if you keep grinding your teeth like that, your dentist is also going to have a meltdown.

and yet again Horikoshi manages to strike this uncanny balance between making him look pissed off and making him look like he’s trying very, very hard not to cry. he just failed, again. it’s like the whole world is screaming at him over and over again that he’s not hero material at all.

why I like it: because he drags Deku out to the middle of nowhere and is all “I know you have All Might’s power and we’re gonna fight”, and Deku protests, and you expect Kacchan’s reaction to be just about anything other than what it actually is. this is as close to pleading as Katsuki is ever going to get. he may not be drowning in sludge but he is still desperate.

why I like it: this may be the best Katsuki that Horikoshi has ever drawn.

why I like it: super ultra mega unpopular opinion: I like this panel even more than THE PANEL!! that follows shortly after it. I am a sucker for when Horikoshi does this thing where he shows Katsuki’s face from a side profile, and his eyes are covered by his hair so you can’t see his full expression, but you know it is something vulnerable because he only ever does this when Katsuki is trying to hide his vulnerability. I could make a whole separate post just about these hair-covering-eyes faces lol. but out of all of them this is my absolute favorite. I can hear Okamoto’s voice acting in my head just looking at it.

why I like it: because it is THE PANEL. he finally broke completely; he let the walls fall away; he couldn’t hide it any longer. he’s so unbelievably torn up about this; he hates himself for it and feels like a failure; he’s lost and doesn’t have the faintest idea how to find his path again. he ended the Symbol of Peace. he was weak and wrong, and Deku was strong and right, and he can’t even hate Deku for it anymore, he just wants to understand what it is that he keeps doing wrong, why it is that he keeps failing.

why I like it: it’s, uuuuuh, angst.

lol it’s funny because at the beginning of the series, it was always Deku who was always crying at the drop of a hat. and to be fair this is still true. but Katsuki also cries way more than I would ever expect a rival character in a shounen manga to cry. and specifically he has cried every single time he’s had a dramatic and overly emotional altercation like this with Deku (and that’s three separate times now). is it because he’s always felt like he has less to hide around Deku? or because his Deku Emotions are so much more intense and volatile than his other emotions? at any rate, whatever it is, if this happens one more time (and I guarantee you it will too because A Certain Someone still hasn’t officially made an apology yet) he will officially lose all authority to ever call Deku out for being a crybaby again. meanwhile poor All Might will just be beside himself. I’m sorry dude, both of your children are just like this, you just gotta deal with it and accept their feelings.

why I like it: HE FINALLY GOT HIS HUG, BLESS.

and more hair covering his eyes! and chewing of the lip! and his head is bowed so much here, he fully allowed himself to be pulled into this hug and to accept this gesture of comfort for once in his life, just for a moment! after everything he was feeling, everything he was beating himself up over, All Might comes and tells him it’s not your fault. and there’s still so much guilt there, but he needs to hear this so badly that he accepts it all the same. meanwhile he is also CRYING AGAIN!? because this was the chapter where Horikoshi said “I am going to put all of the angst and cathartic conflict resolution into a single fight and it’s going to be the best thing ever” and it really was. do you even understand how much I love this. do you??

why I like it: OH GOSH I FORGOT ABOUT THIS, THIS IS MY OTHER FAVORITE KATSUKI HAIR-COVERING-EYES PANEL.

oh no. he’s ruffling his own spiky fluffy hair. he’s tired and he’s beat up (and whose fault is that lmao) and he’s learning all kinds of new things about himself today. he’s got basically nothing left in the tank, but for the first time in ages he has his path laid out in front of him again and he knows the way to start moving forward. he has been absolved of his guilt, the guilt which was eating a hole away inside of him. and all of a sudden he realizes -- it occurs to him -- hey, All Might finally admitted it, he really did give his power to Deku. but it’s still a secret though, isn’t it? it’s important, isn’t it? and so he tells them, hey, look, I get it, I won’t say anything, you don’t have to worry. it’s partially gratitude -- he owes so much to All Might and it’s ridiculous, that’s a fucking debt right there, and this is the least and only thing he can offer right now in return -- and it’s partially just... the right thing to do. like, common sense. honorable and shit. and it’s not like it’s a big deal or anything. but just, let them know.

I love his side profile so much and I love his hair and his ear and the scuffs on his face and his beaten up hand and his hunched up shoulders and him being soft and trying not to show how soft he’s being and he is precious.

BONUS:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY HANDS IN POCKETS GRUMPY TRIANGLE EYES ROVING FERAL HOG SON, I LOVE YOU.

[herecomesnaya]

Dick Grayson and the Desexualization of Rape Victims

okay. it's time to make this post. because apparently, some people are still on some bullshit when it comes to this topic. obviously, tws for rape and all the discussions around that apply to this post.

know what I hate? I hate hearing things like "you're sexualizing a rape victim!" when we talk about characters like Dick Grayson. know why I hate it? a few reasons.

1. Dick Grayson is not a real person who can see these things and be offended or triggered by them. it's disrespectful to use real life talking points and apply them to a fictional character as if he can respond. no real person that exists is making Dick Grayson feel uncomfortable by talking about his ass, because Dick is not a real person. but let's put that aside for now.

2. the constant insistence on revisiting the Tarantula situation is upsetting to me. it's not canon anymore. it hasn't been in years. in order for DC to address it, you'd have to make that traumatic situation happen to Dick again. why? why do we have to have a rape plot? why can't we put that bad decision in the past? why do we have to "punish" Tarantula, a fictional (WOC) character, for the actions a (white) woman who really exists made her do?

3. this one is the crux of my frustration: the idea that, as a survivor of sexual assault, Dick should not be sexualized. that being raped erases him of his right to have a sexuality. it reinforces the idea that every rape victim develops a complex about sex, that it invariably makes them uncomfortable, that anyone hitting on them is traumatic.

Dick is a sexual character. you can't say that's a recent thing. he's got a little black book that isn't so little dating all the way back to his first appearances. it's not a new thing -- what's new is DC's focus on marketing him toward women as a sexual fantasy, which I already explained in my previous post why that should not be an issue.

Dick is a romantic. Dick likes sex. Dick hits on people. Dick flirts with them. Dick is comfortable being intimate with people in that way. the fact that (in timelines that are not canon anymore) he was raped does not mean people are no longer allowed to be horny for him.

what you have to understand as a comics fan is that there are going to be issues where things happen that you don't agree with. things that are poorly-written. things are going to happen that will never come up again, which is disappointing, but it's the nature of the beast when your entire business model is based on outsourcing the writing to multiple different creative teams with vastly different ideas on how to interpret characters and write a good story. sometimes that’s a good thing, like in the event that editorial makes a bad decision to let a bad plot slip through the cracks.

Tarantula was a thing that happened. it is not the only thing that happened to him. Mirage happened. it happened even longer ago than Tarantula, and is even less canon. these two stories do not define Dick. they should not.

do you know what I see when I look at some of these posts? I see that rape victims are only allowed to be rape victims. that once you've been raped, that's all people ever see. that they'll never be able to treat you the way you'd been treated before, because you're fragile, because you're broken, because someone else took a part of you away for good and you're not allowed to get it back.

it's fucked up. it's fucked right the hell up, and it needs to stop. the demonization of (largely) female fans who enjoy writing and drawing sexy shit and making jokes about his ass needs to stop. the slut-shaming and sex-shaming needs to stop. you need to re-evaluate your viewpoints if you think that someone sexualizing a fictional character is somehow an affront to both that fictional character and real rape victims.

and to the rape victims who may disagree: you don't speak for all of us. stop pretending like you do. stop perpetuating myths about us that make people think less of us when they know about our past.

and fuck all the posts that made me angry enough to write a post about it and out myself, for fear that this won't be taken seriously if I don't. something I said I'd never do on tumblr for the sake of shitty fictional character discourse. fuck it. cards on the table: stop being a fucking asshole to people about this shit. you never know what someone’s past is like.

think about real people before fictional characters. always.