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magistralucis · 2 years ago

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Had my worst confrontation with The Pigs so far, especially awful because I didn’t even intend to stumble upon this. I didn’t choose any hostile options, I was alone (I think having Kim around makes this encounter worse and longer), and I passed the check for the gun just fine... but because I hadn’t talked to the Hardie Boys yet, literally hadn’t approached them at all, my detective had no idea what to do with her afterwards. All his mangled brain could come up with was this:

Sure, Lieutenant ‘I-will-instantly-pull-a-gun-at-a-mentally-ill-old-woman’ Kitsuragi totally would. 🙄 But in his absence, I’m shattered that HDB can’t act on any other option, despite being able to conceptualize one. Logic says it right there: the locals will take care of her. It’s the right answer. In terms of video game logic, this is exactly the sort of thing that'd be a positive modifier for the Hardie Boys talk. Even if you never approached them before, it feels like it’d forward your case if you ask their help, since you have the interests of the vulnerable members of their community in mind. Even if the Hardie Boys aren’t an option, Lilienne is a short distance away, isn’t she? Couldn’t HDB ask the Washerwoman, any other local in Martinaise? If he gives anyone a heads-up, he will have delivered a minimal duty of care.

But no. None of that happens, because this scene isn’t a brownie points exercise, and HDB isn’t a reasonable authority figure. He’s deeply unwell, like The Pigs. He’s been abandoned, like The Pigs. He’s in horrible pain, clinging to the vestiges of a cop identity like her, in the desperate hopes of something real and present to hold onto. This is a man who can barely face his own reflection. Seeing The Pigs, a near doppelganger of what he is and may become, is clearly too much for him to handle. HDB can react with compassion, or he can react with threats and violence, and both threads persist through the very end of the encounter with her.

Mutually exclusive options, but both present, and both possible. They are equally valid indicators of the person HDB is, and since he’s capable of the threat at all, it’s not looking good. And this is his double he’s saying this to. We know HDB hates himself to the point of self-destruction, and didn’t/doesn’t think he can improve (’I don’t want to get better, I want to get worse’): the fact that he can think up the pieces that might help her, yet his posterior neocortex shuts him down before he can put them together, implies to me that HDB is actively refusing to believe he can help The Pigs. He’s afraid to believe. He’s beyond help, after all. Everyone told him so.

He thinks it’s true, too, so the same must go for her, yes?

It’s. It’s just. How fucking broken is HDB that he knows what must be done, but simply cannot connect himself to the idea that he ought to do it. How are we meant to bear that his immediate thought upon seeing this poor woman - this horrific, devastated mirror of himself - is that Kim will know what to do, but he does not, because he convinced himself he’s utterly helpless. ‘Cause obviously, Kim’s stabilizing him, right? Surely Kim can do the same for The Pigs, and since RAC sure as fuck doesn’t know what to do about himself, he might as well just give up if Kim’s not around. So without Kim and without the Hardie Boys, HDB will simply walk away, and never bring up this incident again. It fucking breaks my heart it can’t end any other way. There are no adjectives for this level of self-loathing.

And you know, I bet he’d have reacted similarly had he been with any other RCM officer - Jean, others in Precinct 41, whatever - because he fundamentally doesn’t exist in a system that has compassion for people like this. Note that it is Esprit de Corps, your cop sense, which pipes up first to assert that you can’t help her. ‘’’Protect’’’ and serve my fucking arse

And no, Kim doesn’t know what to do in this situation either, according to FAYDE. Unlike HDB he doesn’t even come up with the right answer, only nightmare fuel, as regular cops with regular thoughts do

oh god. oh god, kim

#disco elysium #disco elysium meta #disco elysium spoilers #harry du bois #kim kitsuragi #the pigs (disco elysium)#magistralucis plays disco elysium #long post #ask for tags #this is a harrowing scene with no good paths and this post is definitely not about the better of those paths #the reason i hadn't talked to the hardie boys yet at this point was because i was testing to see if i could do the shivers check #without having progressed with the investigation at all #i could not. there was no payoff for this and i just abandoned this woman on the boardwalk for nothing #this post is pretty damning i get that but i was just so taken aback i had to scribble it out. no pulled punches in disco elysium no sir

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jedibinx · 5 months ago

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Fic Masterlist - JediBinx 💜💚🖤

Here it is! The masterlist - I had no clue where to even start so I've organised them into Series and One-shots and linked each one with a short (very short!) summary of what it's about hope this helps! ^_^:

One-Shots:

When Darkness Calls, Who Will Answer? - vampire Jere with gender neutral reader. Creepy, strange and murdery.

Sweater Paws - Jere/Bojan - good old fashioned smutty smut smut.

It Started Out With A Kiss, How Did It End Up Like This? - Jere/Jukka post on-stage kiss.

Slender Wrists and Gentle Kissed - Jere/Security Man Veikko - Veikko has to comfort Jere after a traumatic incident.

The Will Of The Unconscious - Jere/Bojan - Bojan's POV, we find a struggling writer discovers the perfect inspiration... or did the writer create the inspiration?

Flash Fiction Picture Challenge - I take ten photos and create two sentence stories based on them

Just Once - I angsted up the onlyfans content. Because I could and I live to torture lol

Ask Me To Pose, I'll Be Your Doll - inspired by this lovely artwork. Nace/Jere fluff love.

Tell Me I'm A Good Boy - J/Jere smut. This is the fic that started it all with J.

Scratch The Itch - request for a friend - Kris/Nace smut

We Will Prevail - Bojan/Jere. Bojan surprises Jere for Valentine's day but not everything goes to plan and Bojan ends up playing the man card and being a stupid stupid head. Will he be able to save everything he ever wished for?

Parasocial Investigations - Kris/Jere. Kris is a social media influencer focusing on mental health and positive mindsets. Jere is alone, mentally unwell, and clings to Kris' videos and every interaction he has with him. When Jere convinces himself that Kris wants to come to stay, how will it turn out?

Wine, Dine and (Gory) Sexy Time - Tommy/Jere. Vampire gore and smut.

Save Me With Death - Bojan/Jere. Bojan is dying and stumbles across Jere, a starving vampire all but desperate for food. What will happen?

Daddy J and his Famalamadingdongs - my crack fic where Bojan joins Jere's religious cult where he's referred to as Daddy J.

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend - Tommy/Jere. Tommy is a voyeur and Jere is all too happy to help. Smut.

Laid Bare - Jere. Stripper AU. Angsty, sexy, dramatic and traumatic.

Perhana - Bojan/Jere. Even more traumatic. Death and sadness.

Multi-Chapter Stories (Non-Series):

Wake Up - Bojan/Jere - A psychological thriller where we see Bojan, an ex addict try and patch things up with Jere but all the while Jere is falling further and further into a set of diaries that he has found... but all is not as it seems. What will happen when one slowly starts to fall apart and the other desperately tries to keep them together? What happens when things aren't what they seem, or are they just a dream within a dream? Can we really trust our own senses to tell us the truth?

Love and Be Loved, Kill or Be Killed - Jere/OC Female - Mara is a busy GP living her life as best as she can spreading kindness wherever she goes. She can't help it; she's just nice. When her town is plagued by a spree of murders on local women, she becomes anxious and a little paranoia takes hold of her but she carries on her day to day routine as best as she can, refusing to allow fear take over her life. When her good friend, Jere, asks for help with his sick mother, kind, caring Mara... how could she refuse? Little does she know that there's a side to Jere that she hasn't yet seen, but she's read all about it in the papers... and she's about to see it first hand...

Skylar - Regular life AU. Skylar is eighteen and being let loose into the world after spending his entire life in foster care. Kris has been assigned to be his counsellor after social services recognising he needed some assistance.

(UNFINISHED) Till Death Us Do Love - Vampire AU. Jere/Damon - After a freak accident that rocked the world by creating mutated humans not unlike the vampires seen in the Hollywood movies, humans fight back and reluctantly live besides them. Hatred is rife between the two species (and even that term is a stretch as technically they are still humans, just mutated). Jere is a vampire, the same yet different from the others, fleeing from Finland with his brother Mikke. Damon is a human who just wants to live his life the way he wants to but is met with nothing but resistance. How will the world cope when two unsuspecting people's lives run into one another, creating a cataclysmic explosion of a celestial fate that will create a ripple effect that no-one will be able to stop?

(UNFINISHED) Let Go - regular life AU - Jere/J. Jere is a stressed out married man seeking professional services from a Dom sex worker by the name of J. J is an aloof sex worker/dancer who holds everyone at arms length in order to protect themself. He/Him during work, They/Them during personal life. What happens when both people reach a breaking point and come clashing together in a destiny meant for two? Will they be able to let go, grab hold, and trust?

Series:

Jere/Nace One Shots - Porn with Feelings and Plot - 6 one shots - set in real life AU.

Kinktober Universe - Jere/Nace regular life AU. 4 multi-chapter stories. Jere and Nace have a marriage on the rocks and have 31 days to save it. (the subsequent stories are prequels - Holiday where they first meet, university and the letters during university)

BoJere Fluffy Fluff Fluff - regular life AU where Bojan and Jere have both moved to the UK and meet. All fluff no smut super sweet and delicious. 2 multi-chapter parts.

Writing Requests - 30 one shots requested by my lovely tumblr friends! ^_^ Includes, smut, gore, fluff, comedy, drama, angst everything you could ask for. All different pairings, polycule and even fantasy in there too.

Soulmate AU snapshots - Bojan/Jere - Bojan is immortal and Jere keeps reincarnating, forcing Bojan to fall in love over and over again.

(UNFINISHED) Finding NetherRealm Series - Fantasy AU. Lexi is a doctorate student, on her way to becoming the next member of the Horrorlogical Society. All she has to do is complete her placement at the Zoo of the Otherworld and not get too attached to the creature she is meant to study. Easy, right? Käärijä has been captured, stuffed inside a wooden box. He's in pain, he's scared, he's been taken from his family and he doesn't know where he is. All he has to do is make himself as scary as possible, for as long as possible, and they'll leave him alone. Easy, right? If there is one thing that they will learn rather quickly is that nothing in life, no matter who or what or where, is easy.

#käärijä #kaarija #jere pöyhönen #jere from vantaa #jere poyhonen #ao3 writer #ao3 fanfic #joker out #käärijä fanart #writer life #masterlist of fics

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siswritesyanderes · 4 years ago

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Ok but yandere carlise x reader x yandere esme

(Not as detailed as I’d hoped to make it, but I quickly realized that if I went into detail then this thing would become very long. Hopefully avoided making the characters too OOC. Let me know if you like it, and how I did!)

…

You first met Dr. Cullen when you spent the day volunteering at the local hospital for one of your college classes.

There was a whole group of students there to help out, and you honestly weren’t sure why he seemed to notice you in particular; it certainly wasn’t because you were doing such a great job. Your work speed, in restocking the closets, was roughly average, and you kept having to ask your fellow volunteers where things were supposed to go. Granted, you at least weren’t one of the students who was transparently doing the absolute bare minimum to get the credit, but you wouldn’t exactly consider yourself a shining star of competence either.

Still, Dr. Cullen approached you personally to say, “Thank you for your help. You’re really doing us a great service.”

He was a beautiful man, with warm eyes that seemed to be beholding the goodness in your soul, for how amiably they glimmered.

“I don’t know if I can take any credit,” you said, admittedly flustered by the attention. “It was our teacher’s idea.”

He smiled kindly. “Nevertheless, we’re glad to have you here.”

You smiled back. “Glad to be here.” Then you continued working.

When Carlisle walked away from you, he carefully kept the reluctance from showing in his expression. He sent Esme a quick text warning her that they might have another soulmate in town: a human. His initial thought was that this would be the end of it; so long as Esme avoided meeting you, she wouldn’t feel the awful desperation currently clawing its way up Carlisle’s throat, and so long as Esme wasn’t suffering, Carlisle was confident in his own ability to let you live your own life, just as he had done with Esme, at first…

But then, he knew how that had turned out for her: years of pain, mistreatment…The thought of anything of the sort befalling you…The world was so dangerous, between humans and vampires and other such things, and you, so small in comparison, so vulnerable…

Carlisle regained his composure (though, to the untrained eye, he hadn’t lost it in the first place). The world could be dangerous, yes, but his awareness of that fact was informed, in no small part, by the fact that he wanted justification for keeping you. And he couldn’t give himself such license; it wouldn’t be right.

He wouldn’t drag you away from your human life.

Perhaps he could keep watch over you, and do you small favors every now and then, but that was the most he could afford to indulge.

He heard your stomach growl from across the room; he detoured to a vending machine and bought you a light snack. (Perfectly timed, Alice texted him your preference. No doubt, she was scouring the future to see how you might fit into it; he would have to have a talk with her, to be sure she didn’t go overboard. And deciding to have a talk with Alice functioned in the same way having a talk with Alice did.)

Dr. Cullen handed you a snack from the vending machine, which puzzled you at first; it didn’t seem like the hospital was handing out food to anyone else, and even if they were, why would one of the doctors take the time for such a thing?

He answered your unspoken question with a polite smile and the words, “You were looking a bit faint; I thought you might need this.”

Had you been looking unwell? You didn’t think you felt that bad, but a doctor would recognize the signs if something was wrong, and you were pretty hungry. “Thanks,” you said, and he dipped his head in your direction. Then he and his kind smile departed.

That wasn’t the last time you met Dr. Cullen.

Your paths crossed in all sorts of places: in the grocery store, he tapped you on the shoulder once to ask if you’d dropped a hundred dollar bill, and he urged you to keep it even once you’d told him it wasn’t yours; you saw him in your school’s science building, one day (He was there to speak to one of the professors, and he asked you if you had drunk any water recently.); and you even ran into him at the library. All incidents spaced out over weeks; not close enough together to really be coincidences worth thinking about. You figured that you had probably crossed paths just as much before meeting him, but only noticed now because you knew who he was.

Anyway, the two of you remained acquaintances. He was a nice man.

When someone slammed into your car, a few months later, he was the doctor who cared for you.

“A hit and run?” he murmured, tutting in displeasure as he moved a light across your eyes. “People should be more considerate, and careful with other people’s lives. You could have been seriously hurt.”

“They probably just made a mistake and were scared of the consequences,” you offered, because the doctor genuinely seemed somewhat upset. You were trying to assume the best about the other driver, because the alternative was getting angry about something you couldn’t change. You had barely even seen the car that had hit you. You just knew that it was some shade of yellow, and apparently much stronger than yours. “I wish we’d gotten to trade insurance information or something, though; my car is apparently totaled.” Despite your best efforts, your voice wavered.

“Don’t you worry about that,” Dr. Cullen said, and you were probably delirious, but something about the decisive way he said it made it seem, to you, as if he himself planned on helping you get your car fixed. “Follow the light with your eyes.”

You did.

“Have you...” The doctor seemed to choose his words carefully. “Have you called anyone, to let them know what happened, and that you’re alright?”

“No, I guess I haven’t. The ambulance got there so fast, I guess I didn’t have time to think about it.” You weren’t terribly concerned, though; if your relatives hadn’t been made aware of the crash, then they didn’t know to be worried yet. No need to call them now.

Dr. Cullen stilled at your words, though; the light in his hands shone in the spot between your eyes and did not move. It was as if he was deep in thought. No, as if he were at war with himself.

“Dr. Cullen?” you prompted.

He quickly smiled, setting down the light. “I think you should call them. Now, if you can. I would...just feel better if someone knew where you are, and that you’re alive.”

You called them (as awkward as that felt with the doctor right there in the room, patiently waiting), and Dr. Cullen seemed to relax.

Once you were released from the hospital, you went back to only seeing him every once in a while, around town.

Your car was mended seemingly overnight, under mysterious circumstances, and a part of you jokingly wondered if Dr. Cullen was some sort of fairy godmother, or guardian angel.

Then, another month after your accident, a stranger approached you while you were walking back from your last class of the evening.

“Hi,” the stranger greeted you, somewhat apologetically. She was shorter than you, with a lovely face and spiky black hair and a spritely disposition. “I’m Alice. I’m so sorry to bother you, but could you help me carry something to my car? It’s getting late, and I really don’t want to be here after dark.”

“Oh, sure,” you answered, feeling so at ease that you forgot every warning that would normally flood to your mind about the danger of following a stranger to her car. So at ease that your mind somehow just failed to observe the taller guy standing right next to Alice, well in your field of vision. You saw him, but you didn’t really think much of him.

You followed Alice to a bright yellow Porsche, and the shade of yellow stirred something in your memory, but you couldn’t say what; you were too busy looking for what you were supposed to be helping her lift.

A lovely woman with a long blond ponytail leaned against the car trunk, staring at something that she was holding in her hand, and there was a figure sitting inside the car, too; you couldn’t see them through the tinted windows, but you saw enough to be confused as to why you had been called here to help when it seemed Alice had many potential helpers, here.

Your panic, as you began to realize the ruse, had only just begun to climb when the blond woman suddenly moved, swift as a bird, behind you, and there was a hand over your mouth and a feeling like a pinch in the side of your neck.

The thing she was holding. It was a syringe.

The tall guy (the one you hadn’t thought much of, at first) moved to open the nearest door of the Porsche; he moved the passenger seat forward, to access the back row of seats.

“Wait, stop,” you slurred against the hand (the stunningly cold hand) over your mouth, as the woman who had syringed you began to maneuver you into the Porsche with surprising strength. You were already losing control of your limbs.

“This is officially the worst thing I’ve ever done,” the woman griped as she slid you carefully inside, then climbed in behind you. You were sandwiched between her and the person you’d seen through the tinted windows: a sulking young man with bronze hair. Four strangers total, and you were in the back seat of their car.

“Thank you, Rosalie, for your help,” Alice said resolutely. “Will you drive, Jazz?”

The tall one nodded, climbing into the driver’s seat while Alice occupied the passenger side.

You struggled to find your voice, or your fists, through the haze of sedative.

“It’s okay,” said the sulking young man at your side, in a surprisingly gentle voice. “I’m able to hear you, even if you can’t speak. I can read minds.”

“The human is still awake?” Rosalie said.

“Not for much longer, but yes. You have time to apologize.”

“Sorry about all this,” Rosalie said, gently nudging your mouth closed (as it had fallen open). “Don’t be scared; we just…have to bring you to Carlisle and Esme. They’re pretty great people, and they’ll treat you really well. And these guys were going to do it anyway, so I had to come and make sure things went smoothly. Alice and Jasper can’t even administer a shot; they probably would have chloroformed you or something-”

“Wouldn’t’ve had to,” said the tall guy in the driver’s seat- Jasper, apparently. “Could’ve just lightly flicked the back of their head at the right angle. Provided Alice checked the future to make sure we did it right.”

“…and didn’t cause a concussion, or worse,” the bronze-haired one deadpanned.

There was a brief silence. You were sinking against the self-proclaimed mind reader, unable to support your own weight. You were about to sleep. You actually wanted to sleep.

“Don’t worry, Rose,” Jasper added. “I’ve made sure the human isn’t afraid.”

You supposed you weren’t. Why weren’t you?

You fell asleep before you could figure it out.

…

You awoke to the sound of agitated voices, outside the (closed) door of a bedroom that was not your own.

You were in a bed, and it was obscenely soft and pleasant, but it wasn’t yours, and you weren’t home.

Where am I?

You felt weak, and tired. Heavy, confused. But you had to stay awake, and regain your wits, because you had been taken somewhere, and you didn’t know where or why. There was a window across the room. It was nighttime outside the window. Maybe if you could make it over there, you could climb out and run for it, but you didn’t yet have the strength to even get the bedcovers off of you.

“Because it’s been awful to watch how badly it affects you to be away from your mate,” one of the voices outside the door was saying. “All five of us agreed, and we never agree on anything!”

“And it’s not like it wouldn’t have happened eventually,” another voice agreed. “Just like with Esme.”

“Exactly! You were only prolonging your own suffering, for no reason.”

There was a sigh, and a familiar voice said, “Are you all finished?” It was Dr. Cullen; that much you knew, even though you had never heard him sound so tired.

“We did it for you, because you deserve happiness.”

“And now that Esme has seen them, there is no way to undo it, is there?” Dr. Cullen asked rhetorically. “Edward, is the human awake?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll bring some food up, Carlisle,” an entirely new voice suggested. “The children have been…underhanded, today, but there’s no reason we shouldn’t make the best of it.”

“It was for the best.” (Your head was clear enough, now, that you recognized this unabashed voice as belonging to Alice.) “You’ll see.”

Footsteps approached the door, and shortly a woman entered the room. She was soft-looking, with caramel brown hair, and she held a dinner plate in her hands.

“Good evening,” she said, soberly. Sitting on the edge of your bed while you struggled to sit up. “I’m so sorry the kids did this; we didn’t ask them to, but they thought they were doing us a service. I’m Esme Cullen, Dr. Cullen’s wife. Here: eat something.”

You ate a forkful of pasta only because it was too close to your mouth to refuse. “Why ‘m I here?” you asked hoarsely. “Take me home.” Another forkful slid into your mouth.

“I’m very sorry,” Esme said. “I’m so, so sorry, but you see…the trouble is…” Her eyes scanned over you, and she smiled a seemingly involuntary smile and didn’t finish her sentence. As if looking at you was simply a much better use of her time.

“I want to go home,” you said.

Esme sighed, pressing her lips together contritely. “The trouble is, I can’t bear to relinquish someone who is so important to Carlisle, and Carlisle can’t bear to relinquish someone who is so important to me. I promise you, though, we will make it up to you.” She fed you more pasta.

It tasted delicious, but that did nothing to assuage your terror. “You don’t even know me. What do you mean, I’m important to you?”

Esme clicked her tongue softly and rhythmically against the roof of her mouth, as if to soothe. “Carlisle can explain that better than I. But rest assured, everything is going to be alright.”

Your skin crawled, at the dissonant cordiality. “Where is Dr. Cullen?”

You heard a flutter of what could have been footsteps, if people were capable of moving that fast. Then, the bedroom door opened again and Dr. Cullen entered.

“Hello again, dear heart,” he greeted you, and his demeanor was about the same as it was in public, or in the hospital. Respectful, polite. Maybe just a bit...off. Too much of something, maybe too polite and kind for the circumstances. “I’m terribly sorry about all of this.”

The apologies were making this worse. “You don’t have to be sorry,” you said. “Just please take me home.”

“I can’t do that, angel,” he sighed. He did appear sorry, but not as sorry as he should have. “But I can explain everything to you now.”

He sat down on the other side of the bed, opposite Esme, who was still feeding you. And he did explain everything, in such expansive detail that you fell back asleep before he even got to the part about mates.

…

“You can pretend with them, but not with me.” The voice was quiet, and not so much accusatory (despite the pointedness of his words) as reminding.

“I know that, son.” Dr. Cullen sounded positively serene.

“You knew how much time you were spending with Jasper, in your saddened state.”

“Yes.”

“You knew that we would do this.”

“I…suspected.”

“You meant for us to do this.”

“That’s enough, I think. Thank you.”

Silence fell.

You opened your eyes just a crack. The pillow beneath your face was awash with yellow light; the sun had risen, since last you’d fallen asleep. None of it had been a dream. You were still trapped in a house with these people who thought they were vampires. You closed your eyes again. The two voices had been speaking from the direction you were facing: Dr. Cullen at your level, perhaps in a chair at your bedside; and the other above, as if standing.

“One month,” the first voice suddenly added, and you weren’t sure what it was in reference to. It was as if an inaudible question was being answered.

“That’s her optimistic guess, or her pessimistic?” Dr. Cullen inquired.

“If all goes well, it will be one month. Poorly, and the longest she’s seen is three months.”

“Well, that is good to hear. I’ve waited much longer with hope for much less.”

“I know.”

You turned over, so that your back was to them, and began to open your eyes again, but then you heard Dr. Cullen rise from his seat, take up the chair, and move around the foot of the bed. You kept your eyes shut as he set his chair down on the new side and sat in it once more. He did all of this matter-of-factly, as if he’d changed sides every time you’d turned over during the night.

The thought of anyone wanting to see your face that badly made you shiver a bit.

“Awake?” Dr. Cullen inquired casually. You didn’t hear an answer, but the other man must have nodded, because Dr. Cullen continued, “Good. Esme will be done with breakfast soon. She’s so happy to be cooking again.”

“Jasper is in the kitchen with her,” the other said, as if that was a related statement somehow. “I’m going hunting. Good luck.”

You weren’t sure why, but you felt as if he was talking to you as much as Dr. Cullen.

#yandere twilight #not harry potter #yandere carlisle cullen #yandere esme cullen #male yandere #female yandere #obsession #stalker #twilight fanfiction

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toomanystoriessolittletime · 4 years ago

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Long distance

Summary: Falling in love with an Army Captain just weeks before he had to leave again, wasn’t something she had planned on. And Sy didn’t even know how much he wanted to have a family until she told him she was pregnant 2 months into his deployment.

Pairing: Syverson / Reader

Wordcount: 4.2k

Warnings: fluff; implied smut

A/N: I think this might be the longest fic I wrote that doesn’t include any actual smut. Let’s see if people read it anyways lol

Masterlist

His palms were sweaty. His heart was beating a hundred miles a minute. He could feel the tiredness in his bones. Not only from the flight, but from the last 8 months. His last 8 months of being in the army. Now he was standing here, in front of the door that separated him from the real world. This wasn’t fear he was feeling. This was pure excitement. He had always wondered in the many years he served, how he would feel when he stepped through these doors for the last time, coming back from deployment.

He pictured himself not knowing what to do with himself. Maybe he would build houses again, like he did back when he was younger with his father. Before he died. His brother had taken over the family business. He wanted to spend time with his brother. His family. Shaking his head Sy smiled to himself.

What he never would have thought was that after 8 months he would come back to a girlfriend he met only 6 weeks before he had to leave for his last deployment. And what Sy never would have even dared to dream off were the two twin baby girls he was about to meet for the first time. His twin girls.

10 months ago

“Sy….” She looked at him. The man she only met two weeks ago. He looked peaceful in his deep slumber. His face relaxed. Slowly her fingers brushed over his cheek, seeing him frown.

“Sy… Wake up.” She whispered, her face coming closer to kiss his cheek.

She heard him groan, his arm pulling her even closer than she already was, making her chuckle.

“Sy you told me to wake you up. Now….” She turned in his arms, crawling on top of him. “Wake up.” She kissed his nose, his forehead, his eyes, his chin. Slowly his eyes fluttered open. Tired blue eyes looked up at her.

“Why is your naked body on top of my naked body?” He asked, his voice heavy with sleep.

“Oh… I don’t know….” She grinned, pushing her boobs against his chest, making him groan. She could feel just how much he was enjoying this on her lower belly.

“Apparently you sleep like a stone, Captain.” She teased, making him smirk.

“You kinda wore me out last night, Peach.” His big hands landed on her ass.

“Oh… I’m sorry Captain Syverson. I’ll keep in mind to stop you the next time you drag me to your bed…” She pushed herself up. Sy looked up at her. The early sunrise made her appear like an angel. His angel.

“So why did you want me to wake you this morning?” She asked. It was sunday, and it was before 8 am. He knew that she was always up early. They had met only 2 weeks ago in the local grocery store. She had moved here only a couple months before for her job. Working as a english teacher at the local school.

He looked so out of place in his red shirt and cargo pants, standing in front of the ice cream, trying to decide for a flavour.

“You look like a nut kind of guy.” Were the first words she had ever spoken to him. He had looked at her, with the intention of probably ignoring her words, when his eyes met hers. She had felt it there too. Like being struck by lightning through her whole body. She had invited him for ice cream the very next day.

Shaking her head she thought it was best not to dwell on the past weeks and instead focus on the time they had left before Sy had to leave. She raised her eyebrow at him.

“I wanted you to wake me, so we can do this.” He grinned, before he pulled her down against his chest, his lips finding hers as he turned her so she was on her back with him on top of her.

“Let’s wear us both out some more, hm?” He whispered against her lips as his hand parted her legs.

9 months ago

Goodbyes were not something Sy was used to. Sure he said goodbye to his brother before he went back to wherever the Army wanted him. But this was the first time his heart felt this heavy as he had to leave.

She looked beautiful in the driver's seat, focused on the street as she drove him to the airport as he held her hand. He had told her he loved her only three days ago. Never in his life had he told a woman he loved her, but he loved her.

“Stop staring at me, Cap.” She mumbled, her words followed by a yawn. They had spent the whole night making love to each other. He knew she wasn’t wearing any underwear under the thin summer dress she had put on to drive him to the airport, and he desperately tried not to think of how easy it would be….

“I’m serious Sy.” She looked at him from her side. He grinned to himself, turning his head to look out of the window where he could already see the base approaching.

“Can’t blame me for looking at you, Peach.” He said.

The rest of the drive they were silent, hanging on to their own thoughts. He almost jumped in his seat when the car stopped and she killed the engine.

Turning in her seat she looked at him.

“I can’t believe I’m one of those girls…” She whispered, looking at him.

“One of what girls?” He asked, turning towards her.

“One of these girls who say don’t forget me when you’re away.” She sucked her bottom lip in, and he could see the unshed tears in her eyes. He shook his head, as he leaned towards her, kissing her deeply. He breathed her in, his hand on the back of her head, his fingers feeling the silk of her hair.

“I’ll be back before you know it.” He whispered against her lips.

“Promise?” She asked. He nodded, kissing her again. Forehead against forehead they looked into each other’s eyes, savouring the last touches before Sy smiled.

“Don’t dump me for some third grader from your school. I know they are cuter than I am.”

“Idiot.” She slapped his chest.

“Your idiot.” He grinned.

“I love you.” She whispered.

“I love you too.” He kissed her again, before he breathed in deep and opened the passenger’s door of the car.

8 months ago

“I was doing laundry today and for some reason, some of my panties seem to be missing.” She said. Sy was laying on his bed, his phone propped on his chest as he looked at her on the little screen. It was the middle of the night back at home, yet she always took time to talk to him, no matter the hour he called.

“Hmm…” He hummed, biting his lip in deep thought.

“You are so full of shit.” She shook her head, rolling her eyes with a smile.

“Don’t speak to your Captain like that.” He said sternly, his eyebrow raised, while his hand searched for the flimsy piece of fabric he stole from her, holding it in front of the camera.

“You're not my captain, Sy. You are a thief.” She let her head fall against the mattress, groaning.

“You okay, Peaches?”

“Yeah. Everything’s fine. Just a little unwell.”

“I wish I could be there for you.”

“But you are, Sy.” She smiled, turning in her bed. He saw her get under the covers, her head resting on her pillow.

“Talk to me until I’m asleep?” She asked.

“Of course.” He smiled.

7 months ago

Call me as soon as you can.

The message reached him in the middle of a mission. He only found the time to answer her two days later. The reception had been shit the last couple of days, so as soon as he was back at the base he excused himself and grabbed the satellite phone, dialing her number.

“Oh my god Sy.” He heard the relief in her voice.

“Hey Peach. Everything okay?” He asked, closing the door behind him.

“I was worried when you didn’t answer.” She said. He sighed.

“I was on a mission in the middle of nowhere. So… You okay?” He asked again. He was met with silence on the other end of the line.

“Sy I’m pregnant.” The whole world seemed to stop as he heard those words. Blinking, he looked out of the dusty window of his office.

“You’re pregnant.” He repeated, at loss of words.

“With Twins Sy. You knocked me up with twins.” He could hear her crying. The ability to form words seemed to have left him. Here he was. Thousands of miles away from the woman he loved. The pregnant woman that he loved.

“Sy?” She asked quietly.

“Sorry. I’m just… surprised?” He asked.

“You’re not upset?”

“Why would I be upset?”

“Because we only know each other for like 3 months and you’ve been gone almost half of those.”

“Doesn’t change the fact that I love you. You and our two… fuck. I’m gonna be a dad.” He ran a hand to his short hair.

“But… How? I mean we only had sex without a condom once and I made sure to pull out…”

“Apparently not fast enough Cap.” She sighed.

“How do you feel?” He asked her.

“How do I feel? Scared? Overwhelmed? Hungry? I have no idea how I feel. I miss you.”

“I miss you too. But… We’re gonna be okay. You. Me. The babies.” Sy said.

“You’re in on this? You won’t leave me alone with this mess?”

“I love you, Peach. We’re in this together.”

6 months ago

“I swear to god if you weren’t so far away I would slap your head.” She groaned, but had a small smile on her lips.

“Peach... “ Sy grinned. He was sitting in his office, about to have a briefing, but he wanted to see her before that. What he didn’t count in was her answering him completely naked.

“What? My boobs hurt. These little beans sure do start producing their food early.”

“God I wish I was there. I would find a way to make you feel better….” He hummed. He could feel his pants becoming uncomfortably tight as she kept the camera on her upper body.

“Such as?” She asked.

“Mhh…. Massaging your whole body as long as you can still lay on your stomach… Making you forget about your boobs by making you cum…” He whispered. He could see her blushing, her nipples hardening.

“I hate you.” She pouted. He smiled.

“I love you too.”

5 months ago

“Dismissed.” Sy said. The men in front of him nodded and turned around, leaving one by one until only he remained. He sighed as he looked at the clock. Right about now a doctor would find out if they were having boys or girls. Or both.

It was getting harder and harder for him to actually focus on the work he was sent here to do. His thoughts now always went back to, was he doing the right thing? Could he get home earlier to be with the woman he loved? Those weren’t thoughts he was used to.

Before her, there was no way he would even think of going home earlier. He was going to have a week off in a month, just in time for her birthday and he planned to surprise her. He already put his brother on packing his stuff.

They talked about that it would be for the best if Sy moved in with her. She had the bigger house, and frankly he didn’t care where he lived, as long as he was close to her. Sy also thought about asking her to marry him. Because that was the thing people did when they were expecting, was it? But he wanted to do it right. And not just because it was the right thing to do. He loved her, there was no question in his mind about it. But if she agreed to be his wife, she deserved the wedding she always dreamed off. Even if he had no idea what she dreamed off, because that topic never came up in their conversations. A video call interrupted his train of thoughts. Answering the call on his laptop, he could feel himself getting nervous.

“Hey Cap.” He heard her voice, before the picture connected. She was still wearing the hospital robe.

“Hey Peach. How are you?” He asked.

“Tired, but excited. We’re about to find out what we’re having.” She smiled.

“We are?” He asked. She nodded at him, as someone took her phone.

“Hey bro.” He saw his brother’s face before the camera showed her laying next to the ultrasound.

“Hello Captain Syverson. Are you ready?” The doctor asked.

“I’m excited.” He breathed, looking at the love of his life. He could already see that she was crying.

“Don’t cry, Peach. Dan, Goddamn it take her hand.” Sy said. He heard his brother chuckle, before Dan took her hand.

“Okay. Ready?” The doctor asked. Sy only nodded. He never even thought he would have the opportunity to be there. At that moment. He wanted to kiss her for including him.

A sound he never heard before reached his ears.

“Strong heartbeat from both, as expected.” The doctor said. Sy smiled. He was hearing his babies’ heartbeats.

“They both look very strong, just like we want them to.” The doctor continued.

“They are so big already.” She sighed.

“Still a long way to go though.” His brother said.

“Yeah. We’re around halfway through, still a lot of growing to look forward to. Now… Are you guys ready to find out what you’re having?”

“Yeah.” She said, looking straight at the camera. He only nodded.

“Okay… Let’s see…” The camera switched to the little screen of the ultrasound. He could see the doctor’s finger pointing.

“Yup. There’s no doubt. You are having twin girls.” He heard the voice of the doctor.

“Girls?” She and him asked at the same time.

“Girls.” The doctor repeated.

“Wow.” Sy said.

“I love you so much, baby.” She took the camera and he could see her big smile and the happy tears in her face.

“I love you too, Peach.” He smiled back, wishing nothing more than being there so he could kiss her.

4 months ago

Today Sy would move in with her. They talked everything through and organized his stuff being moved to her place. What she didn’t know was that Sy would indeed be there for the move and her birthday the next day.

“She’s gonna freak out.” Dan said as he hugged his brother, after picking him up from the airport with the moving truck.

“I hope in a good way.” He sighed.

“Please. She’s so in love with you. I never once heard her complain about anything, and I’ve been spending a lot of time with her lately to organize your move and help her.”

“I know. It’s just… Why is this happening now, and not in half a year, when I’m here to help?”

“Because life has its own plan, big brother.” Dan smiled.

“Sissy, we’re here. I brought some help.” Dan called as he opened the door for Sy to step in.

“I’ll be right down. I felt like I need to pee for the millionth time today.” She called back, making Sy chuckle.

“You have an hour before all the helpers show up. I’ll be back then too.” Dan whispered to him, squeezing Sy’s shoulder. He nodded, watching his brother leave as he slowly walked further into the house. He had been here often enough before he had to leave, yet he could see the little changes. She was making space for his stuff in her living room.

Apparently they would keep his couch, because hers was nowhere to be seen. On the dinner table were so many pink congratulations cards. He picked one up, his thumb brushing over the glitter writing of “It’s two girl!” the “a” being crossed out on the card and a two written over instead. He smiled. He would be back in 3 ½ months just in time to see his girls being born. He would live in a house full of girls and he couldn’t wait for it.

“Dan, do you think it’s okay if I order just some pizza later? I really didn’t feel like….” He heard her voice behind her, followed from a gasp. Turning around, he smiled.

“Surprise?” He shrugged

“Oh my god, Sy.” She whispered, before she practically jumped into his arms. He pulled her close, his nose in her hair, as he breathed her in deeply.

“Hey, Peach.” He whispered.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, her hands coming up to frame his face.

“Took a week off to be here for your birthday.” He said. He looked in between them, down to her growing belly. Slowly his hands ran down, until both of them lay on her belly.

“This is really happening.” He whispered, before he looked up at her again.

“You bet it is.” She smiled before she pulled him down so she could kiss him.

3 months ago

“I’m so tired Sy.” She groaned. “These girls are always having a party just when I am about to fall asleep.”

Sy looked at her on his tiny phone. They had a visit from some military officers today and he had to shave. This was the only time he had to talk to her this week.

“Want me to talk to them?” He asked.

“You think they’re gonna listen to you?” She asked, chuckling.

“Hey, I’m their Dad. They better start listening to me.”

“Allright.” She grinned, changing the angle on her phone so it was laying on top of her belly.”

“Talk to them, baby.” He heard her say. Sy smiled.

“Girls. Leave your mommy to get some rest. She needs her sleep so you can grow to be healthy and happy little girls.” Sy said. He heard her laugh, before he saw her face again.

“I think it might be working, they stopped.” She shook her head.

“See? Already listening to their dad.” He grinned, putting the razor down.

“You look sexy like that.” She whispered.

“Like what?”

“Without a shirt. God I’m so horny all the time lately….” She sighed. He crocked his eyebrow.

“I thought the five days we spent in bed when I was there would had helped you with that.”

She shook your head.

“I just want to be fucked. I get wet looking at the weirdest things lately….”

Sy groaned.

“Don’t make me quit my last job just to come and fuck you.”

“Would you?”

“I would do anything for you, Peach.”

2 months ago

“I have bad news.” Sy groaned on the phone. He tried everything to not have to do this. He argued with everyone about it but there was no getting out of it. Frustrated he ran a hand over his short hair.

“What is it?” He heard her ask.

“I have to stay for a month longer, cause the Captain after me has to have surgery and won’t recover in time.”

“You won’t be here when the girls are born?” She asked.

“I’m so, so sorry, Peach. I tried everything. I talked to everyone. There’s no way of changing it.”

“It’s not fair.” He could hear her sniff.

“I know.” He sighed.

“I want their daddy to be there when they are born. I want you to hold my hand. I need you, Sy.” She whispered. It broke his heart to hear her like that.

“I’m so sorry Peach.” He sighed.

3 weeks ago

It was the middle of the night when Sy was woken up by his phone. He tended to sleep on his phone lately, waiting for his Love to go into labour. Blinking his eyes open he searched for his phone before he answered.

“Baby?” He heard a weak whisper, followed from a grunt in pain.

“I’m here, Peach. What’s going on?” He asked, being awake immediately.

“It’s time. The babies are coming.”

He tried to stay on the phone the whole time. Yet he missed the actual moment of his girls being born because he had to work. He missed their first cry. Their first bath. The first time being held by their mother. But this was not the time to be sorry about everything he missed. He never had to leave them again, to be so far away. They had both agreed that it would be best if the babies stayed at home with Dan. Breathing in deep he stepped forward, the door opening for him. Immediately his eyes found hers. A bright smile graced her lips as she saw him. Quickly he walked over to her, letting his bags fall to the ground, catching her in his arms as she jumped, her lips connecting with his.

“I missed you. So much.” She whispered, clinging to him.

“Missed you more.” He whispered back.

“Okay let’s go home. I’ve only been gone for half hour, and I’m already going insane and feel like the worst mother ever.” She sighed.

“You are the best mother ever.” Sy said, picking his bags up from the floor as she began to walk towards the exit.

“And you’ll be the best dad.” She smiled.

It was a short ride from the airport to his new home. He could feel himself getting nervous the closer they got. And when she parked her car in the driveway he was a nervous mess.

“What if they don’t like me? They have no idea who I am?” He whispered. She killed the engine turning in her seat, taking his hand.

“They will love you, Sy. You are their father. The best father they could have dreamed of.” She kissed his cheek.

“Okay. Let’s go and meet my girls.”

He followed quietly after she opened the door. Taking his shoes off, he grew more excited and nervous the deeper they got into the house. He could hear his brother’s voice.

“Oh there are my baby girls.” She whispered as they walked into the nursery.

“Were you the best girls for your uncle Dan?” She asked.

“They always are.” Dan answered. Sy stepped in, seeing Dan kneel on the floor, with his back to him. He turned around.

“Hey big bro.” He said, getting up. He hugged him quickly, but Sy didn’t really acknowledge anything as he looked at the two babies laying on a soft yellow blanket on the floor.

“I’ll leave you to it.” Dan said.

“Thank you for watching them.” She called.

“Always. I’ll be over for dinner tomorrow, yeah?”

“See you then.” She called, sitting down on the floor. Sy just stood there, staring down.

“Come on now. Meet your daughters.” She smiled. He looked at her, then slowly got closer and sat down on the floor.

He had seen the many pictures she had sent to him but nothing compared to the sheer beauty of the two girls laying in front of him. Slowly he reached his hands out, brushing with his fingers over their cheeks.

“Meet your Daddy, Maya and Eva.” He looked up at her, as she picked Maya up.

“Come sit in the armchair.” She said to Sy, who still wasn’t able to form any word. He got up to sit in the chair as she carefully put Maya in his left arm. In awe, and afraid to drop her he looked down at his girl. His right hand carefully brushing over the little girls cheek.

“And here is Eva.” She said, wanting to put her in his other arm.

“No. Come sit on my lap with her in your arms. I wanna have all my girls with me.” He whispered. Softly she smiled, sitting down in his lap, Maya in her arms as his arm came around her waist looking down at both of his baby girls.

“They are beautiful.” He whispered.

“They are. And right now they are very calm. I don’t think I have seen them this calm.” She whispered back.

“They are so tiny.”

“Yeah. But they are gonna grow up.”

“Not on my watch.” He said, making her chuckle. They continued to sit like that for a while, until Eva grew a bit restless.

“I think someone’s hungry.” She said, bringing her knuckle to the little girl's lips who began to suck immediately.

“Can I…” Sy asked looking up at her.

“Let’s go to bed, so I can nurse them both, yeah?” She asked. He nodded and she kissed his forehead, before she got up from his lap.

Sy fell asleep in the arms of the woman he loved more than his own life that night. The woman he only met a year ago, but gave him everything he ever dreamed of.

“I love you, Peach.” He murmured before he dozed off.

“I love you more, Captain.” She smiled back, before she dozed off too.

#fanfiction #fanfic #syverson #syverson x reader #captain syverson #henry cavill

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criminol · 4 years ago

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The Unsolved Disappearance of Jamie Fraley

Jamie Fraley was a 22-year-old woman from North Caroline. She struggled to gain weight and had mental health problems for most of her life leaving her dependent on friends and family. Despite these problems, Jamie was described as intelligent, sweet and spirited. At the time of her disappearance, she had enrolled in college and hoped to become a counsellor and to help others.

In 2006, Jamie began dating Ricky Simonds, a local with a history of drug abuse and prior arrests for theft. In 2008, when the pair were engaged, Simonds was arrested and held in jail. Jamie wrote to him daily and waited for his release.

Two doors down from Jamie's apartment lived Ricky Simonds Sr and his girlfriend Kim Sprenger. Simonds Sr had been arrested for strangling his ex-girlfriend, he had been charged with manslaughter but had been released early. Simonds Sr was a maintenance worker in Jamie's apartment complex and had developed a friendship with her, it was suggested that he flirted with Jamie who did not reciprocate these actions.

On 8th April 2008, Jamie called her aunt and visited her health provider due to intense stomach pain. She took medication and continued her day which included dog-sitting for Kim Sprenger. By the evening Jamie was still feeling unwell; Sprenger offered to help her to get a prescription for pain medication. Jamie also got a lift to the hospital with Simonds Sr, he dropped her off outside.

Jamie spent about 3 hours in the ER before calling a friend to collect her. Several witnesses saw her re-enter her apartment at around midnight. The next morning, Jamie's health care provider knocked on Jamie's door but got no answer, she assumed Jamie had gone out and left. For an unknown reason, the health care provided did not tell Jamie's family until two days later, possibly because it was not uncommon for Jamie to go a few days without checking in. On 11th April, Jamie's family found out she had not been seen or heard from in two days. They reported her as missing.

Police found no signs of a struggle at Jamie's house although did notice her purse and keys were still there which suggested Jamie may not have intended to leave the house for long. They found dried vomit and the laces from Jamie's favourite pair of shoes were missing. Jamie's family desperately attempted to call her mobile phone and eventually a man picked up and explained he had found the phone ringing in the middle of the road. It was speculated that the phone had been thrown from a moving vehicle. Jamie always had her phone with her and the disappearance began to be treated as suspicious.

Police began questioning neighbours, all of whom expressed worry and co-operated fully except for one; Ricky Simonds Sr. He was noted to be 'cold' and provided limited information. Police grew suspicious of him and obtained a warrant to track his movements. Instead of finding Jamie, they found he seemed to be stalking Kim Sprenger, his now ex-girlfriend. They warned Kim who told them she was afraid of him and that he was violent, she gained a restraining order against him.

On 7th June 2008, Kim Sprenger noticed a foul odour in her car. On 9th June she checked her trunk and found the decomposing body of Ricky Simonds Sr and called the police. Under the body, officers found a knife and theorised Simonds planned to ambush Kim and kill her but had accidentally locked himself in the trunk and died from heatstroke. Several of Simonds' friends recalled him saying he was going to give Kim 'the surprise of her life,' shortly before he was last seen alive.

Simonds' unexpected death caused Jamie's case to go cold- he was the only person of interest.

#Ricky Simonds Sr #simonds #unsolved #unsolved true crime #coldcase #cold case #jamie fraley

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sol-rising · 4 years ago

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— dramione fanfic recommendations bc i don’t have a life;

[CHERRY] No one asked for this but I don’t have a life and I read a lot so.... why not? Majority of these are either on AO3 or FFN.

— ONESHOTS;

Best Shot by AccioMjolnir [Mature, 24k words]

Summary: It's eighth year and Hermione is trying to navigate her post-war friendship with Draco Malfoy and a relationship with Ron Weasley when she gets an unexpected visit from someone who knows her better than anyone: herself. Thrown back from the future, an older Hermione drops a bombshell on her: she has only three days to set things right, or Draco dies.

Amateur Cartography by worksofstone [Teen & Up Audiences, 21k words]

Summary: That one-night stand with Draco Malfoy was a mistake. Hermione doesn't make mistakes, or at least she isn't supposed to. She's working hard at her Ministry career, however frustrating and pointless her job may be, and she's also got to live up to everyone's expectations as Hogwarts's most famous Muggle-born and a top-tier War Hero. So, why is she still sleeping with Draco Malfoy, ex-Death Eater and infamous pureblood? And why isn't she certain that she wants to stop?

A Muggle-born Magic by Musyc [Mature, 50k words]

Summary: Regency-era AU. Physician's daughter Hermione Granger finds herself in need of a way to pay off her father's debts after his death. Draco Malfoy, retired from the politics of the Isolationists, a group of pure-bloods bent on separating 'true' magic from lesser folk, finds himself in need of a tutor for his son, Scorpius, who appears to be incapable of magic and must learn to survive in a world without it. Draco also needs a wife and mother for Scorpius, to satisfy a promise to his unwell father. After she saves his son from an attack by Isolationists, Draco hires the Muggle-born Miss Granger for the former, and after a riot in Vauxhall Gardens and a scandalous discovery made by his mother, weds that selfsame Muggle-born for the latter. While making the best of her marriage of (in)convenience, Hermione discovers that Scorpius' history of wild imaginings and dreams is more than just imagination. As she attempts to teach him about magical abilities no one expected he would ever have, she and Draco work together to raise Scorpius and learn to trust each other.

Ice by senlinyu [Teen & Up Audiences, 5.1k words]

Summary: Hermione works in Gringotts’ Records Department when Draco Malfoy comes on staff as a curse-breaker. His icy presence drags up memories she’s desperate to move on from and forget. She tries to ignore him, but every time she sees him, she feels chilled to the bone. DHr Advent 2018.

Fallin' (Adrenaline) by LeilahMoon [Teen & Up Audiences, 4.5k words]

Summary: When Professor McGonagall encourages all Hogwarts students to participate in a mentor scheme designed to promote inter-House unity, Hermione Granger is thrilled; she can’t wait to embrace the opportunity for further education. Unfortunately, she's not able to choose who she is allocated to and, when her mentor turns out to be Draco Malfoy, she’s certain she won’t learn anything at all.

The Two Sided Triangle by Canttouchthis [Teen & Up Audiences, 5.2k words]

Summary: In which Daily Prophet reporter Hermione Granger inadvertently becomes a superhero and her partner, the intrepid Draco Malfoy finds himself smitten. In other words, a Dramione inspired by Superman and Lois Lane.

Now Is A Gift by senlinyu [Teen & Up Audiences, 5k words]

Summary: Hermione is determined to give meaningful Christmas gifts to everyone in her Ministry department.

Everyone.

Even that anti-social arse Malfoy.

DHr Advent 2019.

riddle me this by megamegaturtle [General Audiences, 8k words]

Summary: Their fingers touch when Draco hands her the paper and Hermione's heart almost jumps out of her chest.

The note reads: How do you spell ‘cute boy’ with only two letters? -Riddle Me This

Hermione finds herself grinning. “Cutie. Q-T. That’s the answer to the riddle. You’re a cutie, Malfoy.”

[the one where someone leaves Draco Malfoy riddles to solve from the local coffee shop's community board and he enlists Hermione Granger for help.]

(Written for 2020 DFW Trope Fest: Double Trouble)

Library Rendezvous by WickedlyAwesomeMe [Fiction T, 2.9k words]

Summary: Hermes Granger just wanted to finish his homework in peace but of course, she always had to ruin his plans. Male!Hermione Granger/Female!Draco Malfoy. Genderbender

Relentless (Hogwarts Era Series) by realjane (Series of Connected Oneshots)

Height by senlinyu [Explicit, 8.7k words]

Summary: “Tall? That’s what you think I should notice about Malfoy? His height?”

Ginny quirked an eyebrow and licked the tip of her quill suggestively. ”Well, isn’t that your thing? Lockhart. Krum. McLaggen. Ron. The only thing they have in common is being tall enough to give me a neck ache.

”Hermione felt her ears grow hot, and she gripped her book tighter. “I don’t have a thing for tall men. Their height is—completely coincidental.”

Dramione Height Differences Minifest 2020.

Diamond Heart by artemisgirl [Fiction T, 8k words]

Summary: When Hermione approaches Draco Malfoy proposing a fake relationship between the two of them as part of a scheme, he's eager enough to participate - the potential benefits outweigh any costs on his time. But as it all progresses, Draco finds himself wondering what it would be like if what was 'fake' was real.

The Spring’s Chosen by artemisgirl [Fiction T, 5.5k words]

Summary: A golden unicorn appearing on the Malfoy grounds sends the Manor into a flurry of activity, to the confusion of one Draco Malfoy. It's just a unicorn that happens to be gold - isn't it? DMHG

Courting Customs Most Sacred by HeyJude19 [Twoshot, Mature, 15k words]

Summary: Published in 1862 by Lady Apollonia Nott, Courting Customs Most Sacred is the comprehensive text for any pureblood family seeking to arrange suitable matches for their children. It’s also patently ridiculous and not at all appropriate for the modern era of dating. It is certainly not how one should woo Hermione Granger, at any rate.

— ON-GOING/WIPs;

Come Let Us Adore Him by thiscitychickk [Not Rated]

Summary: Hermione Granger scoured the subreddits, perused the checklists, and read virtually everything possible on how to be an all star Congressional intern and staffer. She had her job responsibilities well in hand, but instructions on how to handle the attention of an upstart Congressman Draco Malfoy were nowhere to be found. US politics AU: Congressional staffer Hermione, Congressman Draco

and with you, i fall by passionesque [Mature]

Summary: With Narcissa Malfoy striking a deal for her family — protection for information, the last thing anyone wants is Draco Malfoy seeking refuge within the heart of the Order.

It would’ve been easy, Hermione thinks. So easy for her to hex him back to Voldemort’s clutches for all that he’s said and done, but being the bleeding soft-hearted Gryffindor she is, she doesn't.

* * * * *

“You should hate me,” he murmurs, flicking his gaze to her from beneath his lashes.

She should, Hermione knows this. She really ought to hate him, but the memory of the haunted look in his eyes and the hoarse screams of his nightmares echoes through her mind and eases the storm in her heart.

She doesn’t. She can’t.

“You’re right,” Hermione says soberly. “I should. But I don’t.”

Post HBP. Canon-Divergent. HG/DM.

Love In A Time Of the Zombie Apocalypse by andgladly [Mature]

Summary: After Voldemort, there was this. The clock is ticking to create a cure to the unimaginable horror that currently grips the world. Hermione finds herself unwillingly allied with the most hated man in Wizarding Britain.

The Alkahest by Shadukiam [Mature]

Summary: The Marriage Law, once enacted, has the power to destroy Hermione's perfectly normal life. Luckily, she and Ron are already planning to obey the horrific law together as a team... Until a Malfoy-shaped wrench gets thrown into the works. Dramione.

In the Arms of Her Dragon by Wolf Blossom [Mature]

Summary: A random act of kindness (the life-or-death kind) draws together Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger in a way that nobody saw coming. The duo, in fact, did not want anybody learn the secret of their relationship, but their hope was in vain. All of Hogwarts, nay, England suddenly knew about their union. "Nobody said this would be easy, bookworm." Malfoy drawled. "Shut. Up. Malfoy."

Time Twisters by themirrorminder.372259 [Fiction T]

Summary: Narcissa ignores the sharp smile her little brother wears after Bella's funeral, in the same way that Lily ignores the ravenous gaze her little sister aims towards Knockturn Alley. However, Albus Dumbledore cannot ignore the ominous friendship between Draco Black and Hermione Evans, not when he hears blood dripping from their joined hands. {TimeTravel} {DRAMIONE} {Marauder's Era}

Beautiful Incongruence by charlie_weasleys_gf [Teen & Up Audiences]

Summary: “You are not an easy person to talk to, Granger.”

“Well, you haven’t made the prospect of talking to you sound very exciting."

Hermione Granger was ready for her third year at Hogwarts-that was, until it was interrupted by time turners and apologising assholes.

In which Draco Malfoy apologises (a lot).

How to Move On by longdistance [Mature]

Summary: It's been nearly a decade since the war. A long time since she locked herself away. A long time since he faced his mistakes. She's what he wants. He's what she needs. It's time for both of them to figure out how to move on.

Through the eyes of blind love by Mixilip1 [Mature]

Summary: Torn between the heart and love of two souls thou shall find theeself. Post-war.

Following the war, Hermione finds herself not-so-happily dating Ron, but it seems she can't keep herself away from a certain blonde Slytherin who's determined to finally make her his witch. After hearing a prophecy about her future, she thinks her life might change for good, but what she doesn't know is that the prophecy also included a veela in it.

"Granger, don't be nervous. Just look at me and let go." He said, grabbing her chin, and her brown eyes met his.This is a story about love triangles and veelas. Veela AU

flesh and blood by forbiddenquill [Teen & Up Audiences]

Summary: Scorpius breaks his father’s Time-Turner and ends up getting transported into the year 1998, when the Second Wizarding World War has already ended and where Draco Malfoy is still trying to pick up the pieces of his shattered world.

With Scorpius’ arrival comes shocking revelations, burning questions, and a son’s image of a father Draco is sure he’ll never be able to live up to.

More importantly, it’s Scorpius’s bright brown eyes, so unlike his own, that bug Draco the most.

[alternatively, a multi-chapter fic where eight-year-old Scorpius follows Draco around the castle and tries to discover the secret identity of his mother]

The Other Side by sweetsolitude [Teen & Up Audiences]

Summary: A slow-burn Dramione version of 6th year, The Half-Blood Prince, told from the perspectives of Draco, Hermione, and Theo. No smut, no character bashing. Attempted to stay TTC and the general plot progression of HBP. Primary ship is Draco/Hermione. This fic is already completed at around 150k, will post chapters regularly.

The Hidden Duchess by Moxified [Fiction K]

Summary: She had always been given everything she wanted ever since she was a child, spoiled to the very bone. Her life consisted of a strict regimen built for a princess that was followed to a tee - even after she came to Hogwarts. Leading two lives is stressful for anyone, especially a young lady with an equally young man curious enough to discover what secrets she was hiding.

An Unexpected Malfoy by RiverWriter [Mature]

Summary: Once upon a time Hermione Granger literally ran into Draco Malfoy in a bookshop. His mother sees a connection between her son and the muggleborn that she can't ignore and determines to get to know the girl. An imagining of how things could have gone if Hermione had been taken under the wing of the Malfoy family.

In Another Life by marana1 [Fiction M]

Summary: She walked over to the huge, full-length mirror. Staring back was her eleven-year-old self but with long, beautiful, silky platinum blonde hair and pale skin. Hermione ran her fingers through her hair, the reality of the situation sinking in. The fairy hadn't just made them switch places for a day... she sent them back in time and switched their lives. DM X HG. EWE. Slow burn.

Hermione's pianist by softblakegriffin, va_lentina [Mature]

Summary: Draco Malfoy was destined to play music since birth. A small prodigy in a family of long-standing musicians, he’s well on his way to become the best pianist of his generation. A month in Rome with his friends is the perfect way to leave the pressure and social obligations behind and relax, immersed in the eternal beauty and soul-stirring art.

Hermione Granger’s road to music wasn’t straightforward. She didn’t attend the Conservatory, everything she knows is the result of sacrifices, and she’s still searching for the perfect opportunity to make music her job. It’s her dream and she thinks Rome, with its breathtaking views and magical atmosphere, is the place where she wants to try and fulfill it.

He’s in Rome to enjoy a short reprieve from London, before going back home.

She escaped London and is in Rome to stay.

Will music and the treacherous city disrupt their plans?

Crimes of Passion by All3Unforgivables [Mature]

Summary: Draco Malfoy lost his family, his dignity, and his humanity during the Dark Lord's rise to power. The only thing he couldn't stand to lose was something that was never his to take. With no one left to mourn him, his disappearance goes unexplored. But angels like Hermione Granger do not go missing without notice. D/H OOC, AU. Very mature themes.

Nightcrawlers by malf0y101 [Explicit]

Summary: Returning to Hogwarts for her eighth year, Hermione Granger is depressed, resentful, and suicidal. That is, until Draco Malfoy presents an enticing offer to keep her alive. Soon after, the two embark on a torture spree of students, professors, and acquaintances while simultaneously engaging in a clandestine and dirty relationship. How long can they keep their game up?

What crawls in the night stays in the night.

Poet. by OneEqualTemper [Mature]

Summary: “Uh...Malfoy? Did you knock your pretty head into a wall this morning?” Ginny questions and slides into her spot next to Hermione.

Hermione gives her a quick glare, her eyes begging her to just leave it alone. Ginny ignores Hermione’s look and waits for Malfoy to answer. Malfoy does his best to ignore the red-headed Witch.

“Hello? Anyone in there?” Ginny questions and waves her hand in front of him.

Hermione grabs the Witch’s hand and pulls it down to the table, “He can sit here if he wants.”

Ginny scoffs but keeps her hand down on the table, “What’s wrong with his own table?”

“Ginny, stop,” Hermione hisses at her friend. “We’re friends. He can come and sit here anytime he wants.”

— COMPLETED;

Hindsight by floorcoaster [Teen & Up Audiences, 12 Chapters, 170k]

Summary: It's a New Year and Hermione decides it's time to make some changes.

Between the Devil and Draco Malfoy by QueenOfSmokeAndMirrors [Mature, 13 Chapters, 34k]

Summary: Seventeen is a dangerous age. Hermione Granger, arrogant and precocious and bored of her mundane life, thinks she can handle a deal with the devil. But Draco Malfoy - the devil's own son - plans on dragging her down to Hell with him. Dramione AU with demons.

Good Luck Kisses by Musyc [Teen & Up Audiences, 8 Chapters, 8.4k]

Summary: A good luck kiss for a Quidditch captain - it's ridiculous. It can't actually work.

But it does.

Every time.

Traditions by raven_maiden [Explicit, 14 Chapters, 69k]

Summary: She straddled him slowly, still biting her lip, her hands on his shoulders. He held her hips tightly as he stared up at her.

“So beautiful,” he whispered, and she flushed prettily, like she always did from his compliments. “You never need to hide from me.”

Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy fell in love during the war. One year later, they're heading home for the holidays so he can finally meet her parents. There's just one teeny little problem: her parents think they're both Muggles.

Fortuitous by MrsRen [Mature, 13 Chapters, 93k]

Summary: Recently divorced Draco doesn't believe in the ideology of having one true love. He certainly doesn't expect to meet his match in a Halloween themed coffee shop, but fate has a peculiar way of giving you just what you need.

Manacled by senlinyu [Explicit, 77 Chapters, 370k]

Summary: Harry Potter is dead. In the aftermath of the war, in order to strengthen the might of the magical world, Voldemort enacts a repopulation effort. Hermione Granger has an Order secret, lost but hidden in her mind, so she is sent as an enslaved surrogate to the High Reeve until her mind can be cracked.

Wait and Hope by mightbewriting [Mature, 12 Chapters, 95k]

Summary: “Harry,” Hermione began, voice very controlled, but she could feel the blade of panic slicing at her vocal cords. “Why was Draco Malfoy just screaming bloody murder about his,” and the word almost strangled her as she said it, “wife?”

Harry's green eyes blew wide. Healer Lucas pinched the bridge of her nose, clearly displeased with the recent series of events.

“He was referring to you, my dear,” she said. “That was the other question you got wrong. Your name is Hermione Jean Granger-Malfoy.”

Hermione had to be sedated again.

Beginning and End by mightbewriting [Explicit, 48 Chapters, 242k]

Summary: Years. Broken into months into weeks into days—into hours, minutes, seconds—into moments. Simple at one end, complex at the other. In Draco’s experience, moments, even when simple, had a habit of becoming irretrievable. Moments grew, stretched, multiplied into ages and eras that defined whole stretches of measurable time. Draco regretted several moments in his life, some within his control, some without: all of them irretrievable in nature. At a certain point, wedged between ‘what-ifs’ of his own devising, he’d stopped trying to keep track of those regrettable moments: now and then, pushing and pulling, coming and going, beginning and end. Moments were only moments for just as long. After that, he had no control.

A Draco POV prequel to Wait and Hope.

Through the Years by WickedlyAwesomeMe [Fiction T, 11 Chapters, 93k]

Summary: Hermes Granger fervently believed that Malfoy's sole purpose in life was to make his life a living hell. Genderswap Dramione! Male!Hermione Granger/Female!Draco Malfoy. Companion piece to "Library Rendezvous".

Apple Pies and Other Amends by ToEatAPeach [Mature, 29 Chapters, 77k]

Summary: It’s not until she’s brought a basil and strawberry sponge cake to Neville Longbottom and his new girlfriend, Hannah Abbott, a dozen rhubarb hand-pies to Luna and Xenophilius Lovegood, and another basket of ganache-covered muffins to Dean and Seamus, that Hermione admits to herself what she’s actually doing: she’s making a thing of this. It’s a veritable PTSD tour. With pastries. And hand-skimmed clotted cream. And she has no idea why she’s doing it, but it’s becoming very apparent that she is.

Sometimes you're sad. Sometimes you need dessert. And sometimes, it's a little of both.

Arrogance and Ignorance by AnneM.Oliver [Fiction T, 38 Chapters, 140k]

Summary: A romance set in the era of Jane Austen novels, this is the story of a woman and a man. The man thinks he is better than all others, & the woman knows she is smarter. Their differences aside, they have one thing in common, both are smitten with the other.

The Babysitter by WickedlyAwesomeMe [Teen & Up Audiences, 29 Chapters, 145k]

Summary: It was a dark and stormy Sunday night when Hermione Granger unexpectedly visited his house and entrusted him with her daughter, Rose. Disaster ensues.

Slow burn Dramione with a sprinkle of cute, cute Rose!

The Best of Me by MrsRen [Mature, 21 Chapters, 82k]

Summary: Officially, Hermione Granger was killed in action during the Battle of Hogwarts. Unofficially, Draco Malfoy has never stopped searching for her. Years after the war during a mission in France, his salvation comes in the form of a little blond boy and a familiar half-Kneazle.

Chronos Historia by In_Dreams [Mature, 27 Chapters, 98k]

Summary: Hermione and Draco stumble upon a mysterious portal and find themselves hurtled back through time a thousand years. Forced to team up to find a way home, they quickly realize that much of the history they believed to be fact, wasn't true after all. A founders era, time travel Dramione.

Presque Toujours Pur by ShayaLonnie [Fiction M, 38 Chapters, 174k]

Summary: Bellatrix's torture of Hermione uncovers a long-kept secret. The young witch learns her true origins in a story that shows the beginning and end of the Wizarding wars as Hermione learns about her biological father and the blood magic he dabbled in that will control her future.

omnia vincit amor by SyrenGrey [Explicit, 40 Chapters, 187k]

Summary: Dark days are here at Hogwarts, and the darkest cloud of all is hanging over Draco Malfoy's head. Already burdened with the impossible task of murdering the Headmaster, life becomes more complex when an elusive prophecy entangles him with a bushy-haired enemy, and a steamy forbidden romance unfolds. Sixth Year. Rated E for sexual content and violence.

Rose by longdistance [Mature, 5 Chapters, 20k]

Summary: A short tale of what happens after Hermione and Draco wake up with each other after a drunken night together. Alcohol often has consequences which they soon learn.

#dmhg.ficrecs #dramione #dramione fanfic rec

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evelynds · 3 years ago

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{cis woman, she/her, bisexual} is that emily alyn lind? no it’s just, evelyn delaney. they are a eighteen/twenty year old gifted hybrid and are covenless. and they spend their time as a college student. and people describe them as books scattered everywhere, a confidence derived from not giving a shit, outspoken remarks, a loyalty difficult to earn but damn near impossible to lose, an affinity for being alone.

Facts:

Name: Evelyn Delaney

Age: Physically 18, Biologically twenty

Gender: Cisfemale

Pronouns: She/Her

Species: Gifted Hybrid

Abilities: Psychic Construct, Inherited vampire abilities

Sexuality: Bisexual

Occupation: Student

Education: Freshman at Forks College

Abilities:

Psychic Construct: the ability to turn psychic energy into tools, objects, weapons and other items, create semi-living constructs and/or create structures/buildings of varying permanence and tangibility. More here; Psychic Construct.

Inherited vampire genes; superhuman physical strength and speed, sharper senses, rapid healing, etc.

Biography:

Tw: death, cancer mention

It took Evelyn twenty years to discover the truth about what she was. Raised in a small town in Pennsylvania, she lived with her mother, a human woman by the name of Francesca. Whilst Evelyn always knew the woman was not her mother, it didn’t change the fact that this woman treated her as if she was. Her mother, whilst loving, was also overbearing and refused to allow Evelyn the type of freedom she’d always desperately wanted.

Evie always knew she was special. It wasn’t just the way she grew, or the clear physical and mental ability she gained being what she was. What really made Evie see herself as something different was the abilities she held. Her psychic construct abilities have been there since Evie can remember. Whilst these strange, otherwordly, abilities were like a second skin for Evie, she knew that what she was wasn’t normal. Her mother, whilst never admitting to what she truly was was, only assured her that she was a special girl.

For years, Evelyn’s only real company was her mother. She homeschooled, and when she did get to go out into town she did so with her mother’s company only. By the time Evelyn was sixteen years old she’d been homeschooling for years, and demanded to go to a normal high school. After a lot of resistance, her mother finally allowed her to attend the high school in town. Whilst her bloodlust is controllable, Evelyn is always careful around humans, and successfully navigated her way through to graduation.

Following her graduation, Evelyn’s mother became unwell very quickly, and it was soon realised to be cancer. The hybrid spent a year and a half caring for her mother, who in her last days left her daughter a letter explaining all she’d never told her throughout her life. In it told the story of her vampire father, a man who had affectionately cared for the woman she had known as her mother. She had longed for a child, and he had heard a whisper of his kind fathering a child to a human, but it would result in the mother’s death. It was then that her father chose an unsuspecting woman to bear the child he ultimately gave to the woman who had raised her. She had died, unfairly, to provide Francesca with the one thing she had wanted.

Following her mother’s death six months ago, Evelyn is now ready to explore those like herself. After the revelation of her conception, she found her feelings towards her mother to be conflicting and painful, which caused her to pack up and travel, roadtripping from town to town as she tried to make sense of what her life was. Crossing paths with her first vampire, Evelyn heard the rumours about Forks, and it was then that she decided to relocate to the rainy town in Washington. Enrolling at the local college, a dream she’s always had, Evelyn is planning on studying History & Literature.

Whilst Evelyn is curious about vampires and those like herself, she’s not stupid. She holds her cards close to her chest, and she’s not going to jump head first into an unknown situation. Her goal is to settle in, and keep an eye out for those not so unlike herself.

Wanted Connections:

TBA

aka everything pls lol

#fcrksintro #tw death #tw cancer

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hj-creates · 4 years ago

Text

A Possible Scandal

So, I wrote a little Laurens/Madison fic. I’ve never attempted this ship before, but @layaisdaboss requested it and it’s honestly adorable. The link to the fic on Ao3 is here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27359851 but feel free to read it here as well.

Pennsylvania, Fall of 1780

John stared out the window of the carriage as it rumbled over the cobblestones. His father, Henry, noticed his son’s dour expression and heaved a sigh. “You don’t have to pout you know, I promise you only have to stay a week or so.”

“I should be back with my men on the front lines.”

“There are many ways to fight for your country, my boy. Not all of them involve risking your life on the battlefield.”

“It suits me better then pontificating in stuffy chambers or arguing over fancy dinners.”

“The war won’t last forever, John. When it’s over, the colonies will need well-spoken, well-educated men to lead our new nation. As my son, you are in a good position to help shape the laws and create what this country can become.”

John turned quickly back to his father. “Doubtful. They don’t listen to me now. How many times have I begged them to create a militia of slaves and ensure their freedom once the fighting is over? We rail against the unjustness of the British, but they have given the enslaved that same opportunity. If for no other reason then we are losing thousands of smart, strong men to the other side should we do this, but no. People like Jefferson and even Washington himself refuse to see the hypocrisy of fighting for independence while keeping human beings in chains.” He gave his father a fiery stare.

Henry exhaled and turned away. “I did support your effort. I am sorry it didn’t pass the house.”

“And when, exactly, were you planning on freeing the slaves in your own home?” John said coldly.

“It’s not that simple, John. There are economic and societal-“

“With all due respect, father, stuff it.” John clenched his jaw. “I’ve heard all these arguments before.” He sat back and Henry tersely obliged, happy to see the State House finally coming into view.

John suffered through the numerous introductions and polite exchanges before he and his father finally took their seats in one of the many rows of benches that gave the Great Room the feeling of a church. Most of the discussions seemed to be more about accounting than the high-minded discourses on the birth of a republic that Henry had promised. As the older, fat statesmen argued over the budget of the Continental Army and how they simply couldn’t spare another dollar for those fighting on the front lines, John had had enough and stood up.

“We’re starving out there!” His impassioned voice filled the cavernous hall. “Do you have any idea how many men died during the winter at Valley Forge? How many soldiers perished not due to British muskets but hunger and frostbite? You ask these brave souls to fight for you and then you make them march over frozen fields without even socks on their feet! And that’s not even the worst part. These patriots are getting sick and dying. Forced to live in squalor and drink filthy water because we have no money for a decent shelter or proper sanitation. You should be ashamed of yourselves. Quibbling over a few coins for the army while you dine on fine china and drink from crystal goblets. As an aide of General Washington, I can attest that all in his house were forced to share the same plate at every meal. Militiamen are forced to steal from local farmers, even under penalty of death, just for a scrap of meat.” He felt his father’s hand on his arm. “But go ahead and debate the merits of fulfilling the latest request from the quartermaster. I hope your lavish feasts are worth the suffering of the men you claim to hold in such high regard.” He sat down and his nostrils flared, his anger apparent as Henry looked quickly at the faces around the room.

“Yes.” Henry loudly cleared his throat, obviously flustered and desperately trying to redirect. “We can certainly take into account what my spirited son has so passionately described for us. The well-being of those on the front lines should of course be considered when we deliberate how best to distribute our funds.”

John rolled his eyes. He glanced across the room and he noted most faces set in a frown as they regarded him with equal parts shock and disdain. Except for one. He looked at a face, younger than most of the other men there, who was actually smirking and seemed almost delighted. John gave him a little smile and the other man grinned in return. When his father was once again seated, ceding the floor to another delegate, John elbowed him softly and gestured across the room. “Who is that?”

“That is James Madison. A smart, young man from Virginia.”

John noted the name and let his gaze linger for a moment. Had he just found an ally?

As the day’s proceedings came to an end, John pushed through the throng of well-dressed men until he found who he was looking for. He stepped in front of the short, plump man and offered his hand. “Mister Madison? I am John Laurens. It is a pleasure to meet you.”

The other man smiled. “The pleasure is mine. That was quite the diatribe you gave today. It’s nice to have someone who has actually seen the atrocities of battle speak for our poor men out there fighting.”

Laurens scoffed. “All the impassioned words will mean nothing if we are not helped soon. Winter will be here soon enough and our soldiers still lack coats and boots and blankets. There is not enough food to eat since the locals have all decided to sell to the British now that American currency is worthless. These are dire times, my friend. I am sure you know as well as I. What regiment do you serve in? The Virginian Militia?”

“Oh.” Madison’s voice was soft. “I am unfortunately too unwell to serve in the field. I am second-in-command to my father though. A colonel in the Orange County militia. Since being elected to the Continental Congress, I have spent most of my time here. Your argument is something I have been pleading myself. The financial issues that plague us are quite a thorny mess but I am trying to amend the Articles of Confederation to let us impose a tariff on imports that we can use to support the army’s efforts.”

“You are?” John’s face softened and he smiled wide.

James nodded and he felt his cheeks grow warm, “I am trying. There is much resistance.”

“I will talk to Washington and Hamilton. Between the General’s sway and Alex’s persuasive writing, we can work to make this a reality.” John was talking faster, his enthusiasm growing.

“I would appreciate that very much.” James smiled.

“John!” The younger Laurens heard his father’s voice calling to him. Madison saw the change in John’s expression and recognized what it meant immediately.

“Lieutenant Colonel.” James nodded to Henry. “I was hoping your son and I could enjoy a hearty dinner and a robust exchange of ideas tonight. I am friends with the owner of the Orchid Inn. He can give John and I a lavish meal and some much deserved wine.”

Henry narrowed his eyes, knowing his son too well. “Oh, that’s not necessary. You can dine with us tonight. I’m staying at a lovely little home off Main St.”

John grimaced and James looked unsure of what to do. “I.. uh… that’s very kind of you sir.”

“Very well.” Henry seemed proud of himself. “See you at seven. I’ll send a coach.”

After an awkward dinner, John finally tossed his napkin on the table when he finished his dessert. “Well then father, if I may be excused, James and I would like to take our leave and relax a bit at the tavern across the street.”

Henry peered up at his son with an almost imperceptible scowl on his face. “We have plenty of brandy and cordials here, but I suppose you are hoping for a moment with Mr. Madison that isn’t under the watchful eye of your father.” John didn’t respond but pleaded with his eyes. “Fine. I can assume you will have the utmost respect for Mr. Madison’s stature… and dignity.”

John knew exactly what his father was hinting at. “Am I not always the pinnacle of honor and manners?”

His father arched an eyebrow. “Remember you are a married man, Jackie.” The fact seemed to take James by surprise.

John forced a smile. “How could I forget? I’m haunted every day by it.” With that he grabbed the coats that were hanging by the door and handed Madison’s to him.

They wasted no time hurrying to the tavern and finding a small, corner table near the fire. After the bottle of burgundy had been uncorked and their glasses filled, Madison eagerly started in.

“I must say, Colonel Laurens, your stories of action on the battlefield are most exciting.”

John shrugged. “There is much chance for glory while fighting. Me and my friends seem to be always narrowly escaping death.”

“Is that so?” James leaned in closer. “You must be very lucky then. I see no scars and detected no injuries.”

“Lucky, perhaps. But not injury free. There are mementos from the war all over my flesh, a slight ache in my leg from when my horse was shot out from under me and a mighty scar on my shoulder from where a musket ball went straight through.”

James’s eyes were wide. “Are you serious? How did your arm not get blown clean off?”

John smirked. “Didn’t let it. I had more important things to do than whine about being hurt. We were trying to ambush the Brits. I was leading a company of men. I got shot, tore off my sash, wrapped it around the hole to stop the bleeding and kept marching.”

Madison sat there in rapt attention. “That can’t be true.”

John drained his glass and set it down hard. “You don’t believe me?” He grinned and kept his eyes focused on James. He shrugged off his jacket and unbuttoned his waistcoat. He loosened his cravat and unbuttoned his shirt. James felt his jaw grow slack and quickly looked around the bar to see if anyone was watching this spectacle. John didn’t stop staring at James and yanked his shirt open, sliding one of the sleeves down his arm and revealing a circular-shaped scar, bumpy red skin, and stripes of white where the wound tried to heal itself.

James sat back and exhaled. He knew such an injury would have been the end of him. “That’s… impressive.”

John finally looked away and redressed. “That’s nothing.” He said nonchalantly. “I have scars like that all over.”

James didn’t know what to say and he certainly didn’t want to picture where exactly those scars would be.

After a few more drinks, Madison grew bold. “Why did your father have to remind you about being married?”

John snorted. “Oh that’s just Henry. He probably thought I was going to seduce you.”

“What?” James felt his heart race and he mildly started to panic. “Seduce me? What? Why would he think that? I’m- I’m a.. umm..”

“It’s not you. He’s caught me with men before.”

James felt as if the entire earth had shifted underneath him. “He what?”

John sighed. “If you want to leave because of that, I understand.” He looked at James who showed no signs of going anywhere. “Yes. I occasionally engage in ‘unacceptable’ affections with men. My father found me once with Alex.”

“Alex?”

“Hamilton.”

“Hamil-“ James gasped and slapped his hand in front of his mouth.

John rolled his eyes and poured another large glass of wine. “Aye. But he is engaged now. Set to marry in a few weeks. So, it appears our romance, or whatever you want to call it, has come to an end.” He took a long sip. “Which is better for him, I suppose. All his ambitions.” He emphasized that last word, like it was something he and Alex had fought over many times. “Better for him to secure a spot in an illustrious household headed by one of the most powerful men in New York.” He gulped more wine. “I mean, this fucking orphan is now going to be the son-in-law of General Schuyler. All because he wrote a few well-crafted love letters to the man’s daughter. I mean, you should see the things he wrote to me.” He laughed, a bit too loud. “Imagine being tossed aside by some simpering girl. To know that the letters he wrote to you weren’t anything special at all. It’s just how he talks to anyone he wants something from. To know that something you thought was monumental was just pedestrian to the person you loved. At least with Lafayette he is already married. He is open with how much he loves Adrienne and I know I will never compare to her. We just like having fun. But Alex…” His voice trailed off. “I just thought…” He sat back and let his head fall to his chest.

James watched him and a small smile crept over his face. “I understand.”

Laurens scoffed. “You couldn’t possibly understand what it’s like to be-“

“Jefferson.” James cut him off.

“I’m sorry?” John quickly looked up at him in confusion.

“Four years ago. I first met him at the Virginia Constitutional Convention. I could barely speak. He’s very tall, you know, and quite handsome. He’s only eight years older than me but it felt like he had lived an entire lifetime more. Then last year, he became Governor of Virginia and I was on the Council of State. We worked closely almost every day and I thought…” he sighed. “We started working late into the night, just the two of us and we grew close. I didn’t dare initiate anything but eventually he did. I thought we could develop something, entirely in secret of course, but when I mentioned it, he laughed in my face. He asked if I really thought he give up all his other partners. He said he was sorry if I had gotten the wrong idea.” Madison swallowed hard. “But he didn’t seem sorry. He seemed… I don’t know. His smile was almost victorious. Like he had won something. I felt like an idiot of course. I haven’t even thought about a relationship with anyone since then.”

“Jefferson?” John looked deep in thought.

“Yes. I work with him every day still. It’s torture.”

“Jefferson…” Laurens still had a faraway look in his eyes. “You’re right. He is handsome.”

Madison’s shoulders slumped. “That. Was not the point of the story.”

Laurens laughed. “I’m teasing. But you know the best remedy for a broken heart.”

“More wine?” James smiled back.

“Not when there’s two of us.” John had a mischievous gleam in his eye and took Madison’s hand. He threw some coins on the table and led him to the door. “Come on. What do you say we get out of here? Find somewhere private and not think about Alex or Thomas or anyone else for an hour or so.”

“I’m not sure. It gets cold so quickly now. I really should be headed home.”

“Oh, don’t be a ninny.” He pulled the other man into the street. “Hmm... We could go down to the docks.”

“The salt water makes my asthma flare up.”

John looked up at the top floor of the tavern. “I suppose we could just sneak up into the attic. It’s just storage. No one ever goes up there.”

“With all that dust? Are you mad? I’ll be sneezing for hours.”

“What about the barn at my father’s house?”

“I’m allergic to hay.” John spun around in frustration and pushed Madison against the outside wall of the tavern. “What are you doing?” James whispered.

“Well, if we can’t go anywhere. Then I shall take you right here.”

“But what if someone sees?”

“I’ll say you were having trouble breathing. I was merely trying to keep your airways open.”

“With our clothes off?”

“Of course! Let that fresh air really get into your pores.” John grinned and James couldn’t help but chuckle.

“You’re as tenacious as you are charming.”

“Is that a yes?”

James took John’s hand and directed it to the growing bulge in his breeches. “What do you think?”

John sauntered back into the house and hung up his coat. He quietly crept up the stairs, trying to not make any noise.

“Must have been quite the conversation between you two.” Henry’s voice stopped him in his tracks. John turned and saw his father in the study. He sat in a chair by the window, smoking his pipe and facing the hallway.

“It was.” John said simply, without a trace of guilt in his voice.

“I assume you stuck with discussing policy and compromises between military and state?”

“Oh father, please. Of course not. That sounds dreadfully boring. We also talked about our families, what living in the trenches is like, and the different places we have visited in Europe.”

“I see.” Henry seemed to relax a little. “Well it seems like you two are building quite a friendship. I encourage you to get more acquainted with someone who comes from such a well-regarded family as Madison. That boy has a sharp mind and his father is quite wealthy. Well connected too. I think he is even mentoring under Jefferson.” John snorted at that. “What?” His father asked. “It’s true. I’ve seen them travel to and from Virginia together.”

“I’m not doubting you. James himself said he and Thomas are very close.”

Henry nodded and then started to pick up on John’s subtle comment. “Just understand there is much to be mined from a cordial relationship with Madison. He has already done so much at such a young age. He has the ambition and pedigree to really make it far. The two of you could be the future leaders of this nation. Taking after your fathers. I hope you plan on seeing him again.”

“Oh, I definitely do, father.” He sneered down at Henry triumphantly. “We have A LOT in common.” With that, he turned his back and went up to bed.

#Laurmads #John Laurens #james madison #Okieriete Onaodowan #Anthony Ramos #laurens #laurens x madison #hamilton #hamilton fanfic #hamilton fic

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365days365movies · 4 years ago

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April 1, 2021: The Gold Rush (1925)

If I’m going to start anywhere, it’s right at the beginning.

There’s absolutely no way I can start this month off without jumping headlong into the slapstick-filled era of the 1920s-1930s, and that begins (and arguably ends) with the man, the myth, the legend: Charlie Chaplin. And Chaplin’s got an interesting and tragic backstory, that it’s worth looking into. And he won’t be the first film star I get into, but we’ll get there.

Born in London in 1889, Chaplin was essentially raised in the world of the theatre, as both of his parents were entertainers. Raised in immense hardship and poverty, Chaplin’s early life wasn’t easy. His father left the family, and his mother struggled to provide. Eventually, she ended up becoming committed to an asylum, which led Charlie and his brother to live with their alcoholic father, which didn’t last long. Yikes.

Eventually, both parents were out of the picture by the time that Charlie was 14, with his father head, and his mother generally unwell, physically and mentally. Additionally, his brother enrolled in the military, leaving him completely alone. He left school and went to work, eventually becoming embroiled in the theatre and stage, and in 1908, the 19-year old Charlie joined a major theatre troupe, alongside another young actor named Stan Laurel. And in 1912, the group toured in the United States, where he was found by the head of the now defunct Keystone Studios, who were looking for a new star.

The first movie, Making a Living, didn’t go great for Chaplin or critics. But they didn’t give up, and put Chaplin in a second film: Mabel’s Strange Predicament. Here, Chaplin decided on a new costume. He wanted baggy pants, a tight coat, small hat, large shoes, and a little moustache. And with that outfit came the birth Chaplin’s most iconic character: The Tramp.

And BAM: history’s made. Because this film is RIDICULOUSLY successful, and very popular. A hell of a lot of films come from this, and by 1915, Chaplin was the biggest star in Hollywood history at the time. By 30 years old, he had founded his own studio, was funding his own pictures, and was the most well-known man in the United States outside of the President. And this was before he made his first feature film, The Kid.

1921 was the year that film came out, and I was originally going for that one as my first review...but I decided against it, in favor of another of his most famous films, The Gold Rush, which came out in 1925. By this point, Chaplin had also become a director, alongside actor and producer. He also...had done some not amazing things by this point. Yeah, Chaplin wasn’t the best dude, but that’s another story. I’m here to talk about this film, not about his real shitty track record with women and abandoning his children. Chaplin is a dark man with a dark history, I’ll just say that much.

But enough of that (for now)! Let’s get into the man and his works! After all, Chaplain also pioneered visual comedy in film, so this is going to be an interesting film! Let’s get into The Gold Rush! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

First things first, I’d like to make something clear: I’m watching the 1925 version, reconstructed using some footage from the 1942 re-release, which added narration to it. Because I’m interested in seeing the original, as meant to be seen by Chaplin back in the day, I’m not looking at the re-release at all. But if you’re interested (and have the subscription), BOTH are available on HBO Max!

We begin at the top of Chilkoot Pass in Alaska, a difficult terrain and a challenge to anyone looking to make it rich in the Klondike. Men are hiking up the mountain in hardship, to try get their riches. This takes place at some point between 1898 and 1899, by the way. One of these men is a Lone Prospector, AKA The Tramp (Charlie Chaplin), who walks along the narrow path while being pursued by a bear, but eventually escapes said bear, finding himself on the snowy mountainside.

Also here is fellow prospector Big Jim McKay (Mack Swain), who’s just struck it rich. But then, as both men are on the mountainside, a snowstorm hits. The Lone Prospector finds his way to a small cabin, in which the wanted criminal Black Larsen resides.

The Lone Prospector makes his way inside, where he finds and eats a partially eaten rack of meat. However, Larsen tells him to get out, opening the door, causing the wind to get in. In a humorous sequence, the wind is so strong that it prevents the Prospector from leaving, an blows Jim McKay literally though the building. But soon, all three are in the cabin.

Larsen now tries to get both of them out with the threat of violence. He fires a warning shot with a shotgun, leading to struggle between Jim and Larsen for the gun, with Jim gaining the upper hand and allowing the Prospector and Larsen to stay. The storm persists for three days, and the men grow hungrier and hungrier in the process. All the while, the shack becomes ever closer to just toppling over from the storm winds.

The Prospector ends up eating a candle with sat, he’s so desperate, and the men use a pack of cards to decide who’s going out into the storm to look for food. Larsen loses, and he heads out with his dog (who CLEARLY isn’t into this whole thing, by the way). But Larsen’s still running from the police, who are hunkered down in the storm. They find him, and another struggle ensues, leading to Larsen killing them both in the snow, and stealing their supplies. Meanwhile, in the cabin, then men are so hungry that they prepare one of the Prospector’s shoes. Delicious.

As these two dine on this Thanksgiving meal (which is shown in very funny detail, including eating the laces as spaghetti), Larsen actually stumbles upon Jim’s gold, and he hunkers down there through the storm. This leaves the men to starve in the cabin, and also leads to...a very ironic sequence, now that I think about it.

See, this film was mostly made in Truckee, California. And the most iconic thing about Truckee is that it’s the resting place of a group of travelers on the Oregon Trail. See, in 1846, a group of settlers took the wrong pathway on some bad advice, and wound up stranded in the snow as a result of one of the worst blizzards in California history. This party of travelers, known as the Donner Party (YUP), starved for WEEKS, trapped in essentially a snow pit. 87 settlers went in, and 48 came out. Most died of the cold or starvation. And some survived by, well...eating the dead. Yup. Cannibalism. Which is why this is so ironic.

For a hot second, Jim sees the Prospector as a delicious chicken, and ties to eat him, firing at him with a shot gun and driving him outside. Realizing his delirium, he quickly apologizes, and the two make tentative amends. However, in self-defense, the Prospector takes to sleeping with the shotgun. The next morning, the two struggle for the gun, and Big Jim nearly kills the Prospector, but is interrupted by the return of the bear!

The Prospector shoots the bear, and the two finally have food to eat. Soon after, the storm subsides, and the two head their separate ways, with Jim going back to claim his gold fortune, and the Prospector left in the snowy wilderness. By the way, EVERY SINGLE TIME I type “the Prospector”, I start typing “the Tramp” first, then correct myself. Despite this being the first Chaplin movie I’ve ever seen, it’s such an iconic character that I can’t help but think of him as the Tramp. I’ll probably slip up at some point later without catching it.

Big Jim returns to his camp, where Larsen ambushes him, knocking him out and stealing some of his gold. However, he’s pretty quickly killed by an avalanche, while Jim has completely lost his memory from the low of a shovel. The Prospector, meanwhile, makes his way to a nearby boomtown, built with the profits from the rush in the Gold Rush.

In this boomtown, we meet Georgia (Georgia Hale), a popular dancer that works in a local dance hall. One of Georgia’s fellow dancers has gone off with a wealthy benefactor, leaving her behind. At the hall, she’s being pursued by Jack Cameron (Malcolm Waite), an aggressive lout who’s pestering her for a dance. And just then, who should walk in?

Georgia pretty clearly wants out of the dance hall life, and is also looking for somebody to take her away from this place. However, that somebody is CLEARLY not the Prospector, whom she completely ignores. But when Jack comes back around to force her into a dance, she decides to dance with the most undesirable person in the place instead: the Prospector.

So, while this act is borne of pure spite for Jack, it’s still a dance. It’s interrupted by a nearby dog, but Georgia enjoys the dance quite a bit, to her surprise. Jack is still after her, and the Prospector actually comes to defend her, standing in his way when he tries to pursue her. This, predictably, leads to a fight between the two, during which Jack accidentally gets knocked out by a clock, which the Prospector takes as his own actions, strolling off in pride.

The next morning, the Prospector essentially tricks a man into bringing him inside his cabin to get a free breakfast. This is Hank Curtis (Henry Bergman), who welcomes him into his home for food, and to take care of the cabin in his stead. Curtis owns a mine with his partner, and they head there, leaving the Prospector in his home. All the while, Big Jim is wandering through the wilderness, trying to remember where his gold is.

Georgia is out and about as well, having some fun with friends away from the dance hall. They run around in the snow, throwing snowballs at each other. And as this is right outside of the cabin, of course the Prospector gets hit by one of them. Feeling penitent, Georgia goes into his cabin, after he invites the girls in for a warm fire. She finds a picture of her from the dance hall underneath the Prospector’s pillow, which the other girls mock. But Georgia is at least a little sympathetic.

This pleasant moment is interrupted by one of the girls’ cigarettes lighting the Prospector’s shoes on fire, causing all of them to rush out of the cabin. However, before they leave, the Prospector asks if Georgia would like to come to dinner, which she assumes refers to all of the girls. Still, she accepts, which overjoys the lovelorn Prospector.

But the Prospector, of course, doesn’t exactly have a lot of money; that’s why he’s out here in the first place. So, he goes around town and does some work for money, such as snow-shoveling. He also blocks the jail door with a giant pile of snow in the process, which doesn’t make them very happy. BUT STILL, he gets anough money, and by the time New Years’ comes around, he’s got enough money for a nice meal and a well-made dinner for him and Georgia, with whom he’s head-over-heels in love.

Shame that Georgia doesn’t share that feeling, and has COMPLETELY forgotten about the entire occasion. And so, the Prospector waits for her to arrive, while she’s at a party at the dance hall. He imagines that the dance hall girls, Georgia included, have arrived and are having dinner with him. In the process of this imaginary dinner, he puts two forks in rolls of bread...and creates one of the most iconic scenes of the Silent Era of film.

But alas, this is all in a dream. The Prospector wakes up, and midnight’s passed. At the dance hall, the revelers celebrate, with Georgia standing on the bar and firing guns into the air in the process. The Prospector is saddened, now wondering where Georgia’s been, and realizing that he’s been stood up. Auld Lang Syne plays in the score, and the partiers sing it together at the dance hall.

And it’s FINALLY AT THIS POINT that Georgia remembers that she and the girls were supposed to meet the Prospector. They head there, with Jack in tow. But the Tramp (told you I’d slip eventually) has headed to the party at the dance hall, looking for the girls that stood him up, and he sadly gazes through the window.

Meanwhile, at the Prospector’s cabin, Georgia discovers the loving meal and decorations put out, and realizes that the Prospector actually took this far more seriously than she’d thought. She realizes his feelings, and what she’s done, and feels sorrow about it. Jack tries to get her to forget it and kiss him, but she angrily rebukes him for it, slapping him in the face. They leave the cabin, with Georgia reflecting on the scene.

The next day, Big Jim McKay is trying to recall the location of his gold reserve. He goes to town, and resolves that he must find the cabin in the wilderness, and he should be able to find his way back from there. The Prospector walks right past him, still mourning his spurned love from the previous night. But said spurned love is writing him a letter, noting that she is sorry for what she did last night, and asks someone to give it...to Jack. Oh. What the fuck, Georgia? But Jack, being the dick that he is, sees the Prospector in the dance hall, and gives him the note instead, which leads him to try and find Georgia.

In the process, though, he runs into Big Jim, who needs the Prospector to lead him back to the cabin. He promises to make him a millionaire if he does, and the Prospector agrees, going up to Georgia on the balcony and kissing her, promising to make good and come back rich! The two head back to the cabin, where they stay for the night.

But that night, a vicious blizzard once again rears its ugly head as the two sleep, and literally blows the cabin to...well, to a rather precarious spot.

So, in blissful ignorance, the Prospector gets up first, and walks around the cabin, causing it to rock back and forth as the weight shifts. Big Jim also wakes up, and together, the two realize that the house is balanced on the cliff’s edge, and shifts position as the weight shifts within. That leads to a humorous sequence with a tilting set, and the Prospector looks outside a door on the side of the cliff, dangling off of it for a moment before coming back in.

Now realizing the situation, the two manage to secure a guy rope that ties the house to rocks on the cliff. However, the cabin is now tilted, making their escape even more difficult.

However, Big Jim manages to get out with some teamwork, overlaid by The Flight of the Bumblebee in the score, and he also helps the Prospector escape, just before the whole house falls off the cliff.

But lucky day! The cabin blew RIGHT to the spot where Big Jim found the gold, and the two are now multi-millionaires! The film cuts to one year later, with the two very wealthy men, and the Prospector’s been able to afford everything he’s ever wanted...except for Georgia, whom he never found. Yeah, she definitely wasn’t looking to be with him. Geez.

The Prospector gets in his old Tramp getup for a photograph taken by the Press, while on the ship heading back to the lower 48. But then...who should also be on that ship but Georgia. The two unite once again, but Georgia’s overheard that there was a stowaway on board the ship, and assumes that it’s the Prospector. She tries to defend him, but quickly learns that he’s become a multi-millionaire. With that, the two are reunited, and the photographer brings both of them up for a picture. He poses them in a way that brings them quite close...and the two kiss.

The end! That’s The Gold Rush, and I thought it was a surprisingly heartfelt film! Really, it was funny in some spots, but was a bit more sweet to me than funny. And I really liked it, in truth. I get why it’s considered one of his best! I’ll elaborate on my thoughts more thoroughly in the review, though. See you there!

#the gold rush #the gold rush 1925 #charlie chaplin #the tramp #the lone prospector #mack swain #tom murray #malcolm waite #georgia hale #henry bergman #comedy april #user365 #365 movie challenge #365 movies 365 days #365 Days 365 Movies #365days365movies #365 movies a year

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thedeviltohisangel · 4 years ago

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Creed//1

“How dare you,” she whispered. She knew he heard because she saw his shoulders slump ever so slightly at her words. “I hate you, Din Djarin.” And she had been thinking it for so long but never said it. And for the first time, she knew in her heart that she meant it.

masterlist is my url/writing

let me know what you wish to see next from these two

Korra always makes sure to surround herself with other people. She is not good at being alone nor does she ever want to be. When she isn’t helping her mother set up her stall at the local market, she’s going to local’s homes to tend to any bumps or coughs and then ends her night helping her elderly neighbor herd her animals into the barn. It kept her body busy and her mind quiet. And, to her, that was the only peaceful way to live.

There had been a time when she enjoyed the moments of silence that came in between tasks. The way the stress wafted off her body and into the air. The way her mind wandered to the hope of the future and the smile that would creep across her face.

But that was back when Din had been around. When he had been with her in those brief moments of peace. It had been awhile since that had happened. She tells herself that it only hurts the way it does because they never had a proper goodbye. That he hadn’t had the courtesy to give her one. She felt so stupid and naive for thinking that a man like him could ever be content in the life that she led. He was meant to fly amongst the stars, have them reflect in the shine of his arms and the brown of his eyes. In Korra’s eyes he was a star. And they were not meant to have their feet on the ground.

“My love, you look unwell.” Korra snapped out of her thoughts as her mother stood in the doorway to her room.

“I am fine, mother. Just thinking of the past.” Her mother had noticed the wooden charm that she was playing with before she had mentioned her presence. Her daughter acted as though she was okay for everyone. But in the quiet endings of the day and beginnings of the night, the walls came down and she knew better.

“All the light is ahead of you. Stay focused there.” Korra accepted the kiss on the top of her head and was grateful for it. She knew her mother worried but there was no way for her to change that. She feared she would be stuck in the moment she realized Din was not coming back for the rest of her life. Feared all the men in the village that offered her flowers or a larger home would never compare but she would be forced to settle. Forced to give herself to someone the way she promised she would only give to him.

“Wherever you are, I think of you. And wish the galaxy to be on your side,” she whispered into the dark room. In the darkest of moments she told herself he didn’t come back because he was no more. A bounty had been too much and had been his last. She wonders if she will spend her whole life not knowing. If the feeling of her heart being gnawed at was one she would have to get used to. Even ignore. But at least when she closed her eyes she had her dreams. They numbed her and let her escape for as many hours as she could snag them for. It was her own form of spice, produced within her own mind and plentiful. An addiction well hidden and thoroughly enjoyed.

Tonight, she found him surrounded by red sand. His armor more scuffed than she had remembered and an extra hole in his glove if she really paid attention. He was wearing his helmet and brain strained to construct what she knew was underneath it. What he had trusted her so deeply with knowing.

“I try so hard to keep you from finding me.” She hated how the helmet distorted his voice. He always told her that the armor and him were one, not two distinct entities. She always had trouble viewing it that way.

“Then it is a waste of your energy. You could be using it to win more fights.” She was alluding to the marks of difficulty on his armor.

“If I wasn’t winning then I wouldn’t be standing here.” They regarded each other for a moment. Korra an open book to him, him only to himself. “Go ahead and ask me, Korra. Ask me the question you are so afraid to.” Her lip trembled with the effort of keeping the words back.

“Where are you, Din?” He shook his head.

“No. Dig deeper. Let it out or you will never be able to move on.” She refused. Because then that would close the chapter on her life that was him. Right now it was lingering, a comma instead of a period. Shutting off that piece of her might result in the decay of it. The death of something vital. A piece of her broken into dust and floating into the galaxy to be lost forever.

“If you want to be rid of me so desperately, then you had your chance to tell me so.” Even that would have been better than not knowing. She could have healed and lived her life much differently. Selfishly, Din didn’t want that. Which is why he hadn’t given her any sort of answer either back then or now.

“Maybe we are both cowards.”

“Maybe so. But can you admit you are such to yourself?” The air around them rippled as what sounded like a blaster went off in the distance.

“I have to go.” He dared to take a step closer. Korra didn’t move.

“Yes. As you always do.” Din lunged for her in a moment of desperation but she shimmered and disappeared right through his fingertips. He was cursed with finding courage a moment too late. Everytime she appeared in his dreams, he decided he would tell her how to find him. Or tell her where to meet him. But she always found the courage to leave him a split second before he did. Din thinks he was losing control of all the games he was trying to keep up with. While he was chasing her, people were chasing him and he was chasing bounties. At some point he was going to fall apart. He just hoped he could survive it.

----

Korra hated the way she felt whenever she saw Din in a dream. At least she thought it was a dream. They were getting more and more realistic every night. But what else could they be? She had asked her mother once if she had ever heard of someone being able to visit someone in their dreams. Her answer was that things like that went extinct long ago. No one had that ability now and if Korra thought someone did then it was just her dreams playing a trick on her. But she thinks that if it really was her dream and nothing more, her conversations with Din would be different. There would be resolution and conclusion, one way or another. It all felt too real. That if she were to ever see him again, that is exactly how it would go. She just wishes she had the courage to reach out and touch him. But there was something startling about seeing him in her dreams like that. Like there was a veil covering them from the rest of the world and obscuring their own views in a sense. Maybe it was controlling not just what she saw but what she did and thought too. She wasn’t oblivious to the idea that Din lunged for her every time as she was leaving. Korra always wondered what would happen if she stayed a second longer. If he reached her and was able to hold her. Did he really want to? Did she really want him to? Did she need him to? Part of her was happy just the way things were. There were no surprises and she couldn’t be let down. They had the same conversation every time and there was protection in that. Protection from the unknown, the unplanned. There was nothing scarier to her than that. He had broken her heart once already. She didn’t need him doing it every night.

----

Her morning started out the way they always do. The helped her mother prepare a small meal, ate with her while making polite conversation then made her way to the market in the center of town. She greeted the other merchants, nodding absent-mindedly as they explained their new harvest that they had brought to sell that day, and helping the younger children count their coins before they ordered something sweet from the stall across the way. Korra had built herself a sense of community. A new way to pad her heart and emotions from the trauma of the past. These people smiled when they saw her and waved back if she waved to them. Things were peaceful, just the way she likes it. Until they weren’t.

She should have known the sudden gusts of wind were not from a storm. Should have known the sand kicking up around her meant a ship was close. But none of that connected in her mind until the children squeaked and pointed at a hunk of metal landing in the distance.

“Look! Look! A ship!” They were not used to seeing such things. Her village was one where you came and never left, building your life and one for generations to come. But to her the ship caused her legs to be paralyzed. She didn’t know which direction she wanted to run in. Away from the Razorcrest or towards it. The one thing she did know was that the feeling in her stomach and throat meant she needed to find an appropriate place to vomit and fast.

Korra ran against the sea of people towards the end of the path, ducking behind a house and emptying whatever miniscule amount of food was inside of her. It couldn’t be real. It couldn’t be him. Because if it was, she had no idea what to do. She was lost and scared and wanted the power to wish herself away to somewhere familiar and safe. That used to be him. Used to be Din. But now he wasn’t. He had betrayed her and her heart and her trust. Maker, how was she even supposed to look at him?

Din, for his part, was going against the sea of people to try and find her. He had fled with the Child and couldn’t think of anywhere else to go or anyone else who would know what to do with it. But Korra would know. He remembered how good she was with children. How much they loved her. How they flocked to her so naturally and how she enjoyed them doing so. On the run with him was no life but here, here the Child could be happy.

“I am looking for a woman named Korra. Do you know her? Have you seen her?” He remembered that it was a tight knit community. That she was heavily involved in it. There had to be someone in the immediate vicinity that knew where he could find her.

“She ran when she saw you. You may be looking for her but she is not looking for you.”

“Can you point me in the right direction? It is urgent.” He wanted to fly away before those chasing after him knew he was here. That would put everyone on this planet in danger but more importantly it would put her and the Child in danger. The villager did not know what to do with a panting Mandalorian standing in front of them. They were the thing of legends. What was one doing here? What did it want with Korra?

“I am here. You do not need to threaten or harass anyone into helping you.” She had stood and watched him from behind a home just a few meters away. His armor was shinier than she remembered. It made him seem taller and broader. Maybe he actually was. Maybe it really had been that long.

“I need to talk to you. Somewhere secluded.” He was wasting no time with pleasantries. There was much that probably needed to be discussed between them. Should be discussed. And some things that they owed to each other to be discussed. But he had to push back the lovesick man that existed inside his heart and let the warrior Mandalorian take over.

“What did you do? What have you brought here?” She knew that tone he was speaking with all too well. Knew that he was being serious but also that he was in some sort of danger. And now he was trying to drag her into it.

“Something very important. And I need your help to keep it safe.”

“After all this time you come back and have the nerve to ask a favor of me?”

“Korra, please. We do not have the time to have this discussion.” He put a light hold on her forearm and began to walk her to his ship. If she wasn’t going to listen to him then he would have to show her. She only huffed and puffed a little bit, yanking her arm out of his hand, but she followed him nonetheless.

“There are so many nasty things I wish to say to you right now.”

“I know. And an apology cannot begin to cut it. One day, I hope there will be time for us to have this discussion.” With the type of people that were after him, Din just hoped he had more days left in him.

“You better have a valid, incredible reason for all this-” She stopped as she made eye contact with a tiny green creature. “Oh, Din.”

“I know.”

“How did you...What even is it?” The little one trilled in response, tilting its head back and forth with an assessing gaze.

“I don’t know. But some powerful people are willing to pay more for it than you can imagine.”

“What could they possibly want with something so small?”

“I barely gave them the chance to find out.” It was then that it clicked inside of her mind.

“Din...Did you kidnap him from former Imperial leaders?” He didn’t answer. “And bring him to my planet? To my home?”

“Yes. Because I need you to take care of him.” As much as the little creature made her heart stir, she couldn’t risk the harm to everyone around her that having such a bounty in her possession would likely cause. Not to mention the hurt that came with Din so eager to leave her again.

“You know I can’t.”

“Korra.” He was exasperated. His heart was racing. And he didn’t know what to do. He was so used to only taking care of himself. Having her and the Child standing here with him. He didn’t know what to do. Din was lost. And he thought that ringing in his ears was his anxiety consuming him until he realized Korra looked like she was hearing it too. “Strap in!” He punched the door closed and bolted for the controls. Korra grabbed the Child and strapped him into the makeshift seat Din had made before strapping in herself.

“What’s going on? Why are you taking off?” Now she felt like she was the one being kidnapped.

“Razorcrest picked up something on radar. They found us.” She held on tightly as he powered up and lifted them off the ground and towards space, her home getting smaller and smaller by the second.

#the mandalorian #star wars #pedro pascal #din djarin #din djaren #the mandalorian fanfiction #star wars fanfiction

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sabineelectricheart · 4 years ago

Text

A Lighter Burden

Summary: No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of another.

Rating: K+ - Suitable for more mature childen, 9 years and older, with minor action violence without serious injury. May contain mild coarse language. Should not contain any adult themes.

Words: 2900

Notes: I found this picture on a site for a store called Gilbert Chocolates. It was meant to be.

Delicate bits of crystallized ivory cascaded from the grey, cloud-cloaked sky to blanket the quiet lane between his home and the lonely window which was his destiny.

These days, the sky always seemed overcast. Ever since 1929, they had not seen the sun’s generous shine in Burlone, which was fitting for the overall mood of its inhabitants.

There was a biting chill woven throughout the strong currents of wind that accompanied the descending white flurries, making it difficult for Gilbert to really appreciate the mesmerizing, even innocent, display as he trudged through the empty, sad streets.

The frigid air tore at the exposed skin of his face and neck in a distracting assault, forcing him to pull the heavy lids of his coat further down over his face for protection. As a result, Gilbert's vision was obscured, and he was forced to stare at the ground while he made his way tirelessly through the storm.

The weather was far too terrible for anyone to be out and about. It was the sort of morning that would have been better spent enjoying the storm from the tranquil warmth of home.

Gilbert thought of the comfy chair beside the stone fireplace in his sitting room and felt a pang of desperate longing. He would give almost anything to be in the cosy shelter of the too-large manor house he shared with his beautiful wife. However, he had needed to do some early morning shopping, and there was one more stop on his list before he could make a hasty return home.

His last destination was a small store on a quiet promenade of Creta, looming closer to the Falzone territory than to the headquarters of the organization that supported and protected it. Ferrero Confectionary was a place he had found himself frequenting more and more often over the last few months.

It seemed so strange to Gilbert that he had not stepped foot in his old turf after he left for America for his liquor business, though those buildings and the people that lived on them held so many memories for him. He had been far too preoccupied with building an empire, amassing wealth, he ended up forgetting what was once important to him.

Now, years later, after his North American endeavour greatly diminished its returns, he was suddenly back in town, trying to find wise investments for his money and manpower, in a country ravaged by war, authoritarianism and economic crisis, all on the while dredging up nostalgic thoughts of times long past and making new memories for his collection.

A smile tugged one corner of his mouth up into a lopsided grin when he thought of the reason behind his recent visits to the local chocolatier. Each trip began and ended because of the love he held in his heart for Liliana. She was a beautiful spark of radiance in what would be, without her, an otherwise dreary, meaningless and ultimately short life.

To Gilbert she was the rarest of diamonds, yet she did not see herself in the same light that he did. Whenever he tried to tell Lili exactly why she was such an amazing person, his wife would give him a humouring smile. Still, Gilbert knew she did not really believe all of the wonderful words he used to describe her. She was precious to him, and Gilbert only wished she could see herself through his eyes.

Lili was even more precious to him these days than ever before. Especially now that she was suffering from such constant bouts of illness. All Gilbert wanted was to make life better for the woman that he loved, and one sure-fire way of achieving that was to pay a visit to the old Ferrero couple, Nina and Adamo, the owners of his wife’s favourite confectioner, and the only people who can come even closer to match her, presently unavailable, talent for sweets, in his unbiased opinion.

If he could spend just a few coins on something that would ease Lili's torment, Gilbert could not think of any reason why he should not do just that. He would spend much, much more than that, after all. He had too much to spare.

What was it that his wife read to him once? No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of another? He wanted to lighten any and all burdens Lili was carrying. Jesus, he would throw fistfuls of bills at the couple if it would give Lili even one single refreshed sigh.

Gilbert raised his dark head when he felt the ground begin to climb beneath his boot-clad feet. The tiny square stretched out before him, just as deserted as the avenue behind him had been. It would seem that everyone else must have thought better of going out early, preferring to stay out of the weather.

A, albeit comparatively small, pillowing of snow had fallen over the little village throughout the night, but it still was a lot for Burlone’s usual Mediterranean disposition. It was no surprise that the ground sat untouched.

His were the only footprints to mar the beautiful perfection as he walked to the front door of the sweetshop. The green door swung open easily on well-oiled hinges when he turned the golden knob and pushed it open. The tiny bell overhead tinkled throughout the uncanny silence filling the shop, alerting both of the proprietors of his arrival.

Adamo looked up from a batch of fudge cooling on the counter before him. The little old man flashed a smile of greeting when he recognized Gilbert's flushed face peeking out from beneath the dark and inconspicuous hood.

"Ah, Gilbert my boy! We didn't expect you to visit us this morning, what with the weather being as it is." The old man gave a familiar chuckle as he hobbled from behind the counter to take Gilbert's hand in his own. He gave it a quick, squeezing shake and said, "Nina and I were sure you would wait until the temperature was a little more agreeable."

"Good morning, Adamo!" Gilbert said with a grin. "I probably wouldn't have come had I not known that poor Lili was about to run out of her favourite sweets. You know, they're the only thing that really make her feel somewhat better."

"Really? I had no idea." The chocolatier chuckled again and wrapped an arm around Gilbert's shoulders. As he led him over to the counter where Nina was working, he said, "You are a good lad, Gilbert. To look after your wife in such a way shows just how much you love her."

Gilbert nodded his deep-red head in agreement as he pushed his hood back, causing unruly locks of auburn hair to fall across his face. He felt a small warmth on his face starting to bloom, but years of schooling one’s expression did wonders to hide embarrassment. "I do love her, sir. She's my everything."

"Where is the Madama this morning?" Adamo asked with real concern. He always asked Gilbert where Lili was and how she was doing.

"I left her at home, in bed.” He responded, with a demurer tone than the usual. “She was exhausted after being up all night, as always. I thought I'd let her get a little rest while I went gift-shopping. How happy she will be when she wakes up to a latte and fine chocolate?"

Nina looked up from what she was doing to give Gilbert an approving look, as a mother would when their son proved the good upbringing she provided.

"That lovely girl is lucky to have such a gallant man looking after her. Not all husbands are as considerate are you are, Gilbert, dear." She threw a look in her husband's direction and smiled wistfully. "I know exactly how lucky she must feel with you there. Adamo, for all his faults, has always taken such good care of me when I'm ill."

Gilbert watched as the dark-haired woman stretched a hand out to pat her husband's face gently. He did not know why, but witnessing the small display of love between the couple made him feel both uncomfortable and content.

He was witnessing a tender moment that felt as if it should have been private, something secret between the two. Yet, at the same time, he felt as if he were looking through a window of what he hoped would be the future for him and Lili.

To preserve their privacy, the redhead looked away from the pair and waited for the moment to pass, not wanting to interrupt something so sweet.

After a few minutes, Adamo said, "Well, Gilbert, what will the order be today? Another sack of Lombard liquorice for your little lady? Perhaps some peppermint candy canes? Or will it just be the usual?"

Gilbert's green eyes flicked back to the couple. On the other side of the counter, Nina was working again. She was wrapping chocolates in clear plastic wrappers and tying them shut with little pieces of scarlet ribbon. Looking closer, the man saw that they were chocolate roses perched on top of thin wooden sticks, resembling the real thing, minus the nasty thorns. Somehow, they seemed to gleam a brilliant red, as if they had been dipped in a cherry varnish. He thought they looked too beautiful to simply be eaten.

When Gilbert looked toward Adamo, the older man was leaning against the counter waiting patiently for his order.

"Just the usual today!” He responded with a smirk. “I want to go back home as soon as possible, but I need to get another big box of your almond truffles. Those are Lili's favourites, and they really seem to help her when she's feeling unwell."

"That must be your lucky day, then. We pulled a fresh batch of truffles from the refrigerator just earlier this morning, and I was just about to box them. I'll go get it now, it’ll just be a second!" The old man said with a wink.

He turned and hobbled back toward the counter where he had been standing when Gilbert arrived.

The redheaded crime lord, then, turned his gaze back to the chocolates Nina was still wrapping while he waited, and asked, "What have you been concocting all this time, signora?"

She looked up to see him watching her intently. "Oh, these right here? They are some of my favourites. I have to keep myself away from them or else we wouldn't have any left to sell."

The woman held one of the wrapped chocolates out to him for inspection. He took it and looked at it very closely while she spoke. "These are chocolate covered roses. I've chosen some of the sweetest roses that I could find and dipped them into a perfectly tempered dark chocolate. When you eat them, they taste just like chocolate covered strawberries."

"You mean there are actual roses inside of these?! I didn't know a person could eat roses!" Gilbert realized that his voice sounded sceptical as he spoke, and he hoped that the sweet old woman behind the counter would not take offense.

He need not have worried. She gave him a kind smile as she said, "Oh yes, dear. People can eat all of the different types of roses. They're not toxic, and quite delicious indeed. Each one has a different flavour. Some are sweet, like these, and taste like a bit like strawberries. Others give off a bitter punch. Does your young lady like chocolate?"

"Yes, she does. Lili would love these. She's always appreciated the chocolates that you make, Nina." Gilbert handed the chocolate back to her, careful not to drop it.

The shopkeeper seemed pleased at hearing that. "I've always taken great pride in my handmade chocolates. I'm happy to hear that Signora Redford enjoys them so much."

"Here you go, lad!" Adamo said. He had had made his way back with a large, wooden brown box held in both hands. He offered it to Gilbert with a grin. "I certainly hope that this batch of bonbons is just as good as the last. That blond associate of yours dropped off a letter here the last time you took some home to Lili. She wrote that they were the best batch yet! I don’t want to have her disappointed now."

Gilbert chuckled. Lili was the sort of person to do something like that. Though she was sick almost day and night, she would have taken the time to let the sweet old couple know just how much she loved their treats.

"I'm glad to hear it.” He responded with joy. “I had no idea she'd sent you a letter."

"I've mentioned it more than a few times over the years, Gilbert. That Lili is a lovely girl. She's been very kind to a couple of old timers like us. I can't remember the last time we received so many complementary cards and tips." Adamo patted him on the shoulder. "Make sure you give her our love."

"I definitively will!" Gilbert responded.

He watched as the old man nodded his head and then moved off to continue working on the batch of fudge waiting for him.

Gilbert reached inside of his trench coat to pull out the stuffy wallet resting deep within an inner pocket. It was weighty in his hand, having been filled up earlier that morning, and he had to rest it on the counter to count the ever-devalued currency. The box of chocolate truffles would normally cost just a few lire, but Gilbert liked to leave a couple of extra bills for the little old couple.

He pulled out five hundred lire and held them out for Nina to take. She was waiting for him, having already taken the box from him to place in a bag, so that she could put the money in the ancient till.

He was just taking up the bag to leave when she said. "Wait, dear. Take these back for Lili. I believe you once said lilac was her favourite colour, yes?"

Gilbert stared with wide eyes as the woman took another box from the counter, one with a big lilac ribbon, and pushed it into his hands. The box had a clear cover so that he could see inside. It was filled with at least a dozen chocolate roses.

"Oh, Nina! That’s mighty generous of you, but I can't just take these.” The mafioso argued. “How much would you normally charge?"

She shook her head at him. "You're a good man, Gilbert Redford. You have been looking after a sick wife for months now, never once complaining. On top of that, you've been giving a little extra pocket money to a couple of old farts that haven't done anything to deserve it. Now, you take these to your wife. I won't take no for an answer."

Gilbert felt a wave of emotion wash over him at her words. "Nina, Adamo, you do deserve the extra pocket money. You've helped Lili throughout her entire pregnancy with your sweets. She's been sick nonstop for months now, and the only time she gets any relief is when she's enjoying some of your handmade candy. She jokes that the baby will be the sweetest in the world because of how much she eats. I'm grateful for all that you two do for her without even knowing how much it helps."

Nina hurried around the counter to pull the redhead into a tight hug. "You are such a sweet man, Gilbert."

He wasn't sure what to say, so Gilbert said nothing. He just took Nina into his arms and returned the squeezing hug. She sniffled when she pulled away and wiped a quick hand against her cheek as if brushing away tears.

"Thank you, Nina." He said, earnest.

"Oh, one last thing before you go!" sSe said with a watery smile. Her hands were clutching a smaller bag that she had taken from the countertop. "I want you to have these. I know that it isn't much, but I know these are some of your favourites. I've been slowly gathering things for you since you started coming in to get those silly candies for Lili. There's a bit of chocolate in there, a few types of fudge, some cakes and a piece of cherry jam pie. I remember you being fond of it when you were a boy."

Gilbert looked at the bag in his hands and thought of how he could express his gratitude. As if realizing his struggle, Nina said, "There's no need to say anything, dear. I know how much you appreciate what we do for you." She pulled him into another quick hug before pushing him to the door. "You get home to Lili. I'm sure she'll be missing you."

He moved toward the door as he cast a glance at both of them over his shoulder. The old woman had gone to take her husband’s hand in her own, and they both watched him head off into the storm.

It seemed almost sad that he should be leaving them there. They had become a fixture in his life over the months. However, all of them knew that in a few days’ time he would be back for more goodies.

He had to come back because Gilbert needs to make rainbows in all of Lili's clouds.

*_*_*_*_*

Piofiore Masterlist

#piofiore #gilbert redford

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inspirationdivine · 4 years ago

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The Piano, Revisited || Simon and Lydia

Timing: Current Parties: @inspirationdivine, @inconvenientsimonstrocity Summary: It’s never just about a piano, or a dog.

Simon had to make several conscientious efforts to not go out of his way to make the place look unnaturally immaculate though he did the very best he could with what he was given - the couch was still worn but it now sat against the far wall next to the doorway that led to his bedroom. One could no longer tell there were birds in the house as every downy feather had been collected and discarded, his old television set having been disposed of and replaced with a small but superior one that was placed opposite the couch, next to the front door. His kitchen still needed to be remodeled but at least it was clean now with functional utilities. The beautiful piano Lydia had given him admired the sun coming through the fixed window that faced the wall entirely made of bookshelf. He himself sat at that piano patiently as he waited for his guest to arrive, learning a new melody from a random piano book he bought during his outing for supplies for his dog and pausing every now and then to collect the ball Beans brought him with obvious excitement, throwing it as far as it could go - he usually aimed under his bed as that encourage Beans to burrow. All things considered, given what happened last week, he was determined for this to be a light visit. The only thing keeping it from being perfect (aside from things he couldn’t control) was his near-constant sniffling.

Even when she wasn’t being petulant about the state of affairs, Lydia wasn’t… thrilled with the outer appears of Simon’s home. Rustic was a generous word, but one that local hipsters might have used, but Lydia wouldn’t have. If it hadn’t been for the man who lived here, she wouldn’t have given the place a second look. There was a bounce in her step as she walked up to his door, a gentle thrill. There had been a most welcome gap in her life in his absence, but it was still a gap. She’d grown accustomed to his gentle ways. Not immediately spotting a doorbell, Lydia gave a gentle knock. Well, it made sense that there wasn’t the sound of a doorbell because Simon took that bad boy out as soon as he moved in - that was high up on his priority list given his own… sensitivities. Both of them heard the knock almost simultaneously and Beans, not quite trained yet that knocking on the door did not constitute yelling at it, excitedly bounced around and yapped. Simon, who had trouble containing a smile in spite of the dog’s less-than-stellar behaviour, gently shushed his new companion and went to the door to open it for his old one; forcibly bonded once, now separated only from that invisible tether. He felt his heart flutter at the aspect of seeing her again though he still couldn’t figure out why. Scooping up the white terrier and holding him in one strengthened arm, he swung open the door. “Hey, Lydia,” He breathed, his smile widening for her; it hadn’t been that long but he felt an uncharacteristic longing to just… be near her again. “Er… come in,” He stepped aside to give her room, still holding the dog as he squirmed with… such excitement. SO EXCITED.

Despite, in theory, knowing that there was a dog there, Lydia still startled at the sound of excited yapping behind the door, although she’d smoothed her face by the time Simon had opened the door. His smile was a mile wide, and she smiled in return, in a lopsided smirking way. “Hello Simon,” she replied, before turning her gaze to the fluffy white dog in his arm, snuffling at her curiously. She offered her hand, gently curled, for the pup to sniff. She’d never had a pet in her life that didn’t answer back, but Lydia understood the simple, sweet pleasure of dogs. After a long, curious sniff and a quick lick of her knuckles, she seemed to have just enough of Bean’s approval to deserve a small pet. Lydia stepped inside, her glamour unfurling around her like sepals around a flower as the door was closed behind the two of them. “Wow,” Lydia said softly, looking around the space, transformed completely in the week since Simon had been back. Lydia turned to compliment him, but only then noticed the puffy red around his eyes. “Simon? Is everything alright? Have you been crying?” Once the door was closed, Simon carefully set Beans down where the dog proceeded to zoom around the house, passing by Lydia and stopping every time to sniff at her briefly as though every time was the first before rushing off again. Simon found it easier to keep his gaze on the animal than other people, even ones he knew like Lydia or Ariana but he managed to put his eyes on Lydia’s natural state once more, having since grown used to her ethereal beauty. His smile, though not dissipating, did falter ever-so-slightly when she asked about what he had been doing. He thought, for a moment, about telling her that he had been - every other wolf in their makeshift pack had been through an ordeal in some form or another, each one only bothering to tell him when he reached out… it wasn’t about him, it never was and that was fine but he felt like he worked really hard to maintain communication and, ironically, it always seemed to fall on deaf ears. He would’ve been lying. “No. Er, I mean-- yes, everything’s fine, relatively speaking” He stuttered out an answer, deciding to dodge it altogether though the mention subconsciously made him reach up to rub at one of his eyes with the heel of a hand as though that would fix it - but really, his eyes just itched. All the time. “Sorry.” And there came the first apology. “It’s really nothing.” He dismissed and looked away from her, motioning about the house. “I, uh… did some rearranging.”

Lydia crossed her arms, raising one sharp eyebrow. “Simon, I don’t believe you.” Relatively speaking meant that anything could be true. Relative to being dead, relative to being actively tortured. It wasn’t a lie, so it didn’t heat up any rage simmering inside her, but that didn’t make it true. He rubbed at his eye and perhaps without noticing, sniffled. She looked down to the dog, sniffing at her ankles, perhaps for all the solvent scents and human lingering on her. The dog tilted its head, as if listening for something, but then darted off to try to get off and under the couch. “My dear, your eyes are red. You don’t look well. If it’s really nothing, is it drugs? Are you unwell?” She wasn’t taking the bait. Well, it wasn’t even bait, it was just a distraction from himself, again, as usual. Even when Simon was at work, he kept his eyes on his hands in the bathroom due to lingering neglect for how he looked but she wasn’t the first person in the past couple weeks to say the phrase ‘you don’t look well’. Frankly, part of him didn’t understand; he didn’t think he ever looked particularly well between his wrecked diet and lack of good sleep. How far into denial was he willing to wade, was his new question. “It’s not… drugs,” He replied first, taking a step back and looking at the floor, his smile now only half-present and half-hearted. If anything, it was the LACK of drugs - nasal spray had been a bust, and he’d be ashamed if someone saw the veritable collection of different bottles he’d acquired and stored in one of his cabinets, none of which were prescriptions and all of them were at varying levels of empty; for the record, he DID take a… generous dose of… he couldn’t be arsed with remembering which one it was, anymore. Suffice it to say, his empty stomach didn’t agree with it. Maybe he should be honest; after all, it wasn’t a big deal. “It’s just alle-- uhm… Rhinitis,” He cut himself off with a harsh clear of his throat as if the word was uncomfortable in his mouth. Whyyyy did he say that. He rubbed his eyes again followed by his pointed nose and his nervous tic called his hand to the gnarled scars on his shoulder where he started to scratch at them. “Can I, er… get you anything to drink?” Take three. He wanted to move, he HAD to move but he found himself stuck in place as he was being scrutinised by Lydia, almost as if some part of him deep down was desperate to be confronted. He didn’t want that… did he?

“Don’t lie to me,” Lydia replied curtly, her eyes narrowed, her lips pursed. “You don’t have to tell me, but do not lie. I can’t stand it.” She huffed, turning her scrutinising gaze to the dog, the worn couch, anywhere but him. Of course he had secrets, she did too, and their time of sharing so much didn’t mean they had to share now. She’d crunched her teeth together without even noticing it, her wings shifting under the shells of her elytra. The piano was there, open and in use, but Lydia was no longer so excited to see it. Clearly, she had misjudged, inviting herself into a space Simon didn’t really want her. She’d never loved talking on the internet, it was so hard to judge, and he was the type to not ask for anything he wanted unless she pushed it on him. He was also the type to never say no if she pushed something on him. “You can get me whatever you want, but I don’t drink.” Lydia replied, perhaps a little too sharply fae for the man she knew was only barely wolf.

"Lydia, I am terribly allergic to dogs." The sentence rumbled out of Simon’s mouth in a growl accompanied with the loud sound of ripping fabric before he had a chance to stop it and the millisecond the sentence ended, he brought a hand to his mouth similarly to how he did when he raised his voice to Nora. Her body language hadn't gone unnoticed by him as he felt her presence change; he upset her. "I-I'm sorry," he apologised quietly, feeling that his breathing grew erratic, the familiar sense of being confronted making him panic. Did HE want that or… Did the other one want it? "I shouldn't have snapped." He could say all he wanted in the way of apologies but he already snapped and it was his turn to avoid looking at her, glancing at the dog that had tilted his head at the noise and now pranced over to Simon as if smelling something very interesting to him. "I remember you don't drink." he gave a liquid sniffle and he pulled out a half-empty packet of tissues. "I wasn't lying, either, " he added just as quietly. "Rhinitis is scientific terminology. ‘Perennial Allergic Rhinitis’ is the full name." He didn't know why he added that but since he was already wearing on her nerves, he might as well go all the way.

Lydia took a step back when he growled at her, and fabric ripped around him. His trousers hung on his hips strangely as he backed up, and from one moment from being a towering pillar, he suddenly looked as small as she was, shrinking in on himself like a flower at night. She watched the way his long, wiry fingers dug into his pocket uncertainly, sniffling again, and his eyes looked like they might water. She swallowed, her ice blue eyes softening to brown glamours for a moment. Guilty. That was the name of this particular feeling. "Simon, I think this time I should say sorry, for accusing you of lying. You don't need to apologise for snapping, either. I was in the wrong. But…" Lydia hesitated for a second, looking back to Beans. "Simon, why did you adopt a dog if you're allergic? Why try to hide that?" It wasn’t Simon’s intention at all to scare her or even to get her to apologise; if he had just been honest with her in the first place, this whole thing wouldn’t have happened. If he were honest with HIMSELF, it wouldn’t have happened. The way she said his name seemed to calm him down, though he wasn’t sure why. He gulped and kept his head low, his brow furrowing. “Because… Deirdre couldn’t keep him,” He started; that was the reason for taking the dog. “And… I just--” He wiped his eyes with the tissue, feeling emotional tears starting to well and mix with the allergic ones that spiked his eyes as he forced himself to answer the rest. “This dog is the first creature I’ve ever interacted with that seems… happy to see me.” His voice wavered. “He doesn’t talk about me behind my back. He’s always excited to spend time with me, he looks forward to when I come home… He trusts in me, depends on me.” He wanted to stop everything; stop talking, stop being on the verge of crying, stop itching and sneezing and thinking, just stop. But he didn’t; couldn’t. “He makes me feel like I’m needed.” Every tear he wiped away on his face was replaced with a new one as he kept his gaze on Beans. “No one’s ever made me feel like that before.” He said with a timid certainty, even as he talked to Lydia because he knew she certainly didn’t need him. No one in what they called a “wolf pack” did, no other people he called friends in town did… “He makes me feel like I’m not so... alone.” Once he was done with his confession, he coughed out a broken laugh and blew his nose. “Sorry… ‘me me me’. I’m being selfish.” He gave a watery smile as he kept trying to clean up his face. “You weren’t in the wrong.”

Her hands curled over his. Lydia had stood still, listening to him as everything he’d hid fell out through crumbling walls. She’d taken in his tears, the way his head ducked and his chin trembled. At the end of all this, it was all she could really do, taking his hand in hers.Lydia opened her mouth, once, twice, and swallowed herself. There was a crease between her brows as she looked at him. Really looked at him, beyond the stickiness and the job and the musical skill. “Yes, You, you, you. I imagine that’s more you’ve said about Simon Donovan than you have all year. You don’t sound selfish, my love, you sound like you’re in need of someone to listen. Well, that and more tissues.” Lydia swallowed, and tugged him, gently, toward the couch. She thought of the message from Ariana, implying that they were wolves together. She thought of Regan, cordial at best. Nora, who was currently without name but had been taking care of Simon’s home. How she’d left when he’d snapped at her. “Simon, it’s okay to talk about things when you’re upset. I know… I’m not exactly approachable, but you can talk to me. It’s okay.” Simon felt her hands on his, how strange it felt but how it was something gentle against his white knuckles from how tightly they had balled. That was perhaps the first time someone who wasn’t in the process of hiring him had said his whole name and he gave another small laugh at her mentioning needing more tissues; she certainly wasn’t wrong with the mess he must’ve looked. He easily allowed himself to be led to the couch by her, feeling for a moment as heavy as the pressure was evident in his sinuses but the second he started to actually sit down, he felt a sharp pain as though someone had tried to pull on a limb so hard as to dislocate it. He felt his pelvis jerk forward to distance himself from the couch and felt something unfurl behind him, which gave him the okay to actually sit down this time as a long, thin, scraggly tail, very deep brown in colour, rested on the cushion next to him - and one he hadn’t paid ANY mind to and had no idea was there. They hadn’t sat for very long when Beans welcomed himself into Simon’s lap and tried as he did to get his tongue to connect to Simon’s face, the werewolf managed to keep the excited dog at bay gently. He listened to everything Lydia said carefully and though she said it was okay several times, he was having immense difficulty justifying his confession, hating that he put her on the spot like that. “It’s not right of me to put that burden on you,” He said, his voice scratching through the congestion and the buildup in his throat from crying. He cleared it and licked his bottom lip in thought, keeping his head down but looking at Lydia tentatively. “I’m not-- I shouldn’t be upset. I have nothing to be upset about,” He exhaled. He was silent for a long moment. “S… Thank you, Lydia.” His tone was… his. “For, uh… tolerating my childishness.” The timid smile that lingered on his face crept back on shyly. “You came to hear the piano, not to entertain my emotional outburst.”

Simon may not have paid any attention to the long tail he had suddenly sprouted, but Lydia sure did, eyeing it with concern for a long moment before looking back up at him. It wasn’t nearly sunset, nor near the full moon, so surely it was fine, right? Not a problem. She was interrupted by the little white fluff ball jumping onto Simon’s lap, clambering all over him. Lydia huffed a small laugh at Beans, but returned her keen eyes back to Simon himself, as he finally began to talk. “That’s funny,” she replied, her eyebrows raised. “It sounded like you had a lot to be upset about.” She leant back a little, against the back of the couch, and slowly put her hand on his shoulder. Slid it across his back. “Well, yes, I did come for one and not the other, but I also came for the pleasure of your company, Simon. All of your company, not just one convenient facet of it which suits my nebulous desires. If you don’t want to dwell, then we shan’t. Just don’t dismiss yourself for my comfort.” Simon hesitated to respond at first and only felt himself relaxing subconsciously when she put her hand on his shoulder, moving it to his back and he closed his eyes for a moment. He wanted to stretch into her hand like, well, a dog nosing into the palm of their human to pet them some more but he refrained and took the simple gesture as it came; sweet, gentle, her connecting with him this time. “I, uh… enjoy your company, too,” He replied, opening his eyes again. He was still being honest and he didn’t even mean it in an intimate way; he just liked being around others. He always liked that. “I think I’m okay,” He responded after another pause. He gave her another smile. “Thanks again for--” And he suddenly stopped, his head tilting sharply as he heard what sounded like a rhythmic thumping next to him. He glanced down and almost jumped up from surprise when he saw the-- HIS tail wagging beside his leg. Was that his? Why did it look like that? WHY WAS IT HERE? He had some questions but not as immediately as the gasp that got caught in his throat pricked into his nose and he jerked his head sharply away from Lydia and the dog that had since lounged on his lap to sneeze. Twice. Three times. Four-- nope, only three. “Sorry,” He gasped, using a new tissue this time as Beans glanced up as if to ask what was going on and why his bed was suddenly spasming. “Th.. uh. This is new,” He remarked with a sniffle, pointing to the tail that stopped wagging. “I’m… sorry, that’s-- this is-- yes, I’d rather just… play the piano for you.” He concluded lamely.

“All right, my love,” Lydia said softly, patting his back before she carefully let him go, hand and back at once. She wouldn’t pry further, not when she’d caused this most recent bout of distress. He said he was okay, and she believed- Simon startled away from her as he noticed his own tail, and Lydia sat back to give him space as his whole body tensed. Was he about to shift? No, merely sneeze. “Indeed it is. Simon, darling, are you allergic to… yourself?” She asked curiously, and then nodded. “I’d love to hear you play.” For all intents and purposes, tail and ruined jeans aside, Simon did feel better. He dwelled in his thoughts often because he was the only person he had to share them with but even sharing them with Lydia accidentally relieved some of the pressure he had been feeling for several weeks now. And even if it was psychosomatic, that she had been lying through her pearly teeth, she told him that he could talk to her or at least mention when something was upsetting him. He still had trouble grasping the concept that it was okay for something to bother him to the effect that he should tell someone what it was but he attributed that unnecessary stubbornness to his not having anyone to talk to except for his parents for the duration of his life and it was something not worth discussing today after he had already accidentally broke down in front of her. He gave a couple pats to Beans’ hindquarters and the dog stood up in his lap, stretching for a moment before hopping down and he stood up shortly after, tail swaying down to rest behind him - that explained why his pants suddenly felt weird. He didn’t know he’d have THAT to look forward to. He… needed new clothes, anyway. “.... . Unfortunately, I am.” He hesitated, as usual, before answering her, finding that that was almost the most embarrassing thing he could’ve admitted. Despite not liking attention, it was hard to actually embarrass him - a lot of things rolled off his back but that one just… it irritated him mentally and literally. “It’s not usually that bad but I think--” He sneezed again. “The dog is exacerbating matters.”

Lydia tried quite hard to resist the smile that crept up across her face at his admission, so much more shyly admitted. She could almost see him flushing, Lydia thought. “Well that is rather ironic, I must say, and unfortunate. With or without the dog” Not quite as unfortunate as the gaping hole in his trousers, which was rather hard not to look at. The tear was much, much more bizarre than the tail that had caused it - fae had all sorts of anatomical peculiarities relative to many other species, and each was more beautiful than a plain human form. His discomfort was inescapable, but with time perhaps he’d adjust. Lydia trod carefully as Beans tried to follow them over to the piano, twisting in between their legs - in particular Simon’s - and smiled warmly at his set up. Her eyes drifted along the spines of the bookcase, all the sheet music he’d collected over the years. She’d been right to choose for him a piano with brown wood, not black, it would have stood uncomfortably in his home, whereas this fit in with everything else. “So what will you play?” Her patience with him was insurmountable, something Simon was sure to retain as far into the future as his memory would allow. His reddened gaze followed her astutely as she moved with her grace, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as he noticed her active care in avoiding Beans, who was probably being a challenge by getting right in the way of where one’s feet should go. It was unfortunate, wasn’t it. He was unfortunate. He had snapped at people, not been available to help them with their problems, offered kind words but nothing else in the way of actually being assisting. He was infected with a parasite that disagreed with his genetic makeup; he was a right mess to look at and deal with, doubly so since the introduction of the dog, which she now knew why he clung to Beans so adamantly. His misery was worth every second so long as he had something… someone to spend his time with. He felt a weight, small but sharp, lifted off of him now that Lydia was sufficiently ‘up to speed’, at least in terms that immediately mattered. “I was thinking of Chopin this time,” He suggested, going over to the piano and sitting on the seat, lifting his tail as though it were the tailcoat on an expensive suit to drape over the back. He was not about to think about how long that would be out or what he’d do to hide it, not right now. Right now, he wasn’t lonely. Not with her and his dog near him to tolerate him, pretend to care, listen. As he rested his fingers on the keys and sifted through his mental library for the right song, he felt a sensation through him gently and a rhythm behind him, feeling the soft brushes of air that a wagging tail dispensed.

#wickedswriting #para #chatzy #simon #some bittersweet feelings on your timeline

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princeazurathepathetic · 5 years ago

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Okay so, Imma put some warnings about this: There is swearing, quite a bit in fact

This is about Gender Dysphoria

Very very minor Verdant Wind spoilers

Also about a young man that is trans but hasn't came out yet

Mentioned parental abuse because Count Gloucester is terrible

No Lorenz hating allowed!

Trans Lorenz

Angst

Not the happiest ending, but it's not sad either

Ty for reading, if u like it plz tell me! I also take constructive criticism. It's kinda long.

Maybe They Need Her

It was happening again. Why did this always happen? It was completely unbefitting of his station, and yet very often, Lorenz felt this way. Awkward, confused, unhappy, slightly nauseous, and anxious. He wished he wouldn't, it made social interaction so much harder, and that's almost always when it happened.

He had been out with the rest of the Golden Deer. Raphael had suggested that they all went out to celebrate their recent victory at a local restaurant, that also happened to have a bar, pre Leonie's request. Leonie, Hilda, and the professor had jumped on the idea, Claude had seen nothing wrong with the idea, and Lysithea had immediately wanted to as soon as she'd heard that there was going to be desert. Marianne, had been wanting to push herself and participate in more social interaction, so she also thought it sounded like a good idea. And Ignatz wanted to go since Raphael was hosting it, and he would take any excuse to be around Raphael. Lorenz, of course, wanted to go as well, it wouldn't do for a noble of his class and station to be the only one not to go. Also, lately he and Claude, had started to understand each other, and he wanted to truly get to know him better.

The night had been going extremely well, Lysithea had eaten nothing but cake the entire time, Hilda had somehow convinced half the people in the bar to buy her drinks, Raphael had eaten half the restaurant's for supply, Ignatz and Marianne both seemed to actually be enjoying themselves, and Leonie and the professor had arm wrestled a total of thirty six times. Everyone was happy, and then Hilda announced that she had promised Lysithea and Marianne that she'd take them shopping for clothes. Lysithea seemed like she would rather do anything else claiming:

"Oh, um, we don't have to, Hilda. Don't want to ruin the party…" in which she got a

"Nonsense! I promised you!"

The Professor had asked if she and Leonie could come along. Leonie did NOT seem happy about that, but Hilda had agreed before she could say anything.

"Us girls NEED to go shopping! It's the funnest thing EVER! Come on, dont’cha want some girl time?"

"No! And I call bullshit! We could train, or spar, or literally do ANYTHING else. What's so fun about shopping and dressing up!?"

"Come now Leonie, we'll spar after okay? That way we can do something everybody likes."

"But Professor! I don't want to spar! That’s too much work!"

"Hilda, it's called a compromise."

Lorenz half listened to them as they argued their way toward the door. He wished he could go with them, but he didn't know why. What was so fun about shopping?

Still he asked, "Are we going to go with them?"and he immediately regretted doing so.

"And what? Buy dresses and talk about makeup? Nah. That's all girly stuff."

"Yeah, so who wants to do something actually fun? How about a drinking contest?"

There it was. The feeling. He didn't know why it always came on at times such as these, but it did. The anxiety, confusion, and awkwardness, was unbearable at times, and he knew deep down what caused it but he’d never admit it. He didn't really feel like being out socialising, but he knew he wasn't going to stop, he was a noble afterall, and therefore, must set the noble standard.

"Hey, you okay Lorenz?"

Claude was giving him that warm smile he knew so well, but his eyes were boring into Lorenz's soul. He hated it when Claude looked at him like that. It just made him even more uncomfortable.

"I'm perfectly fine, why do you ask, Claude?"

"Because you look like you're about to puke."

By the Goddess he hated how casual Claude's way of speech was, it irritated him to no end, but he'd learned to accept that Claude was never going to change.

"Please, Claude, you think I'd get sick so easily? I’m a Gloucester, we don’t just drop dead idly.”

“Uh huh, it’s called concern Lorenz, you don’t look so good, so I asked if you were okay. And it doesn’t look like you are, you’re being even more snappy than usual. You’re sweating profusely, and you look highly uncomfortable.”

Oh. since when did Claude start paying such close attention to him? He wished that he didn’t, Lorenz didn’t like it when people worried unnecessarily over him. Or, really he didn’t like it when people worried about him at all, it was weird and uncomfortable to say the least. He opened his mouth to protest what Claude had said, but felt himself unable to, due to the look Claude was giving him, he really was boring into Lorenz’s soul.

“I- uh…”

“You know what guys? I’m gonna take Lorenz back to the monastery. He seems to be feeling unwell.”

“What? But I have already told you, I am perfectly well.”

But it didn’t really matter what Lorenz said as Claude steered him out of the restaurant, back toward the monastery. Although Lorenz protested the whole way back, inside he was profusely thanking the goddess for getting him out of that drinking contest. As soon as they got back into Lorenz’s dormitory, Claude shut the door, giving Lorenz his serious look. It always felt odd for Lorenz, when Claude dropped the carefree, charismatic, happy, facade, since he seldom did so.

“So, are you going to explain to me what’s wrong?”

“I-I don’t know what… Ahem. What you’re talking about.”

Why was he losing his composure? The feeling still hadn’t gone away, and recently he’d been finding it hard to lie so much around Claude.

“Come on, we both know that something’s up, and I want to know what it is. I can’t have you getting sick, we’re marching on to the Empire soon ``

''I’m not sick!”

“Then what’s up?”

“Listen, sometimes I just start feeling a bit... Uncomfortable -for no particular reason!- when speaking with others, but it’s not a big deal, and certainly not something a noble such as myself can’t handle.”

“Sooo… Is it social anxiety?”

“No. I simply feel awkward and unhappy when people speak of-”

Lorenz cut himself off, he did not want to talk about this, especially not with Claude, even though they’d been working to better know each other, he still was a Riegan, and if word of this got to his servants or advisers, they’d use it against the entire Gloucester clan, and then his father would find out, which would be the absolute worst thing that could happen to Lorenz. “When people speak of... what?”

“Nothing, I misspoke.”

“Do you really think I’m that stupid?”

“Possibly.”

“Sarcasm? Really?”

“Who said it was sarcasm?”

There was a snort of laughter from Claude’s side of the room, maybe he’d distracted Claude just enough to get out of this conversation.

“Okay, but back to the topic at hand. You know that I’m not gonna stop bugging you until you tell me.”

“Well that’s awfully mature.”

“So… Spill it.”

“Very well, but you must swear that you will not mock me. Or tell anyone.”

“Geez Lorenz, didn’t realise it was such a terrible secret. Heh.”

“Swear Riegan!”

“Fine. I swear, Gloucester.”

“I get very anxious and uncomfortable when others around my person speak of gender.”

He spoke rather frankly in desperate hopes that it wouldn’t seem like a big deal and hopefully that Claude wouldn’t ask the questions he was dreading. Unfortunately, luck wasn’t on his side that day.

“Why?”

“How should I know!? I am simply speaking the truth to your inquiries you so desperately need answered, apparently.”

Claude chose to ignore these remarks, much to Lorenz’s further irritation.

“So, lemme get this straight. You get highly uncomfortable, anxious and awkward whenever people talk about gender related topics and stuff?”

“Yes. Gender related topics, and stuff.”

“And you don’t know why.”

Claude gave Lorenz the look of ‘you better be telling the truth.’ Lorenz was fully prepared to lie. Hell, most of him wanted to lie, but there was this small part of him, the selfish part of him, who just wanted someone else to know, anyone else to know. Well except his family of course, the last thing he wanted was for them to know. And here was his opportunity, a chance handed to him on a silver plate. Maybe this was meant to happen.. Maybe this was the Goddess herself, taking pity on his sorry self, and giving him an opportunity to talk to someone. Well, if that was the case, who was he to decline a blessing from the Goddess. He answered.

“Well…”

“Come on Lorenz, tell me the truth. We’re friends now, right? I’m not gonna rat out any of your dark secrets.”

“Dark Secrets? What do you take me for? I have no ‘dark secrets’. The very notion!”

“Well, then what?”

“I just…- here it came, he was really going to say it- I don’t want… I don’t want.. To be a man.”

He’d said the last part so quietly, he’d be surprised if Claude could have possibly heard. He hadn’t.

“Sorry? Gonna have to repeat that.”

“I don’t want to be a man!” It came out incredibly loud this time but he didn’t even care, this was something that he’d been keeping to himself since he was fourteen, and wasn’t going to come out very noble.

“I never have! That is to say, I didn’t truly give it much thought in my childhood years, but since i was fourteen years of age, I have felt uncomfortable in the identity that I had, and confused about my gender, andabout how and why others viewed me, I haven’t wanted to be seen as a man, or as anything similar since that young age, I have wanted to be… Have wanted to be a woman! That’s what I wish I was! And it makes me so confused, and anxious, and unhappy, when others start talking about male stereotypes, and gender conformity, and, and, and really about anything relating to gender. Hell, I get uncomfortable when others refer to me as ‘he’ or ‘him’. And I- I-”

Why was it so hard to breath, and the easiest it had ever been, at the same time? Why was he saying this? Why was he saying it to Calude? Why was he yelling like some drunken commoner off the streets? Why did he even feel this way? Why couldn’t he just be normal? Without starting drama? And being a disgrace to his family name? He was a noble for the goddess’s sake! He should be the picture of perfection and grace, and model for his people! Not some fucked up failure that his Father was always disappointed in! Why was he so- so-

“Lorenz, calm down. You need to breathe, ok? Everything’s okay, calm down.”

He could feel Claude;s hand on his shoulder, as he tried to calm Loenz down, he tried to look at Claude, but his vision was blurry. Tears? Why the hell was he crying!? He’s got nothing to cry about! He is lucky and privileged to be of a noble house! To be the heir to so much money and power! To be living in a time with so many changed ideals. To have crest. Unlike so many noble children who are disowned at birth, because of not having one. He is lucky. He is spoiled. So why the fuck was he breaking down so easily? If his father could see him now, he’d be screaming at him to stop embarrassing his image! Why was he like this?

“Lorenz! Listen to me! You’re okay! I’m here, you can talk to me.”

“Apologies, I-I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Lorenz, this is a lot of bottled emotion, that’s been saved up for years. Let it out.”

“I- he tried to talk. But he was heaving trying to control his emotion and breathing.

“Lorenz, If this is truly so important to you… Why don’t you change your gender? This is Fódlan. It’s gotten pretty progressive, and you know nobody here at the monastery would be a dick about it, we’re all like family here, and we’ll always support each other.”

“I thank you for the sentiment, but it’s not the Golden Deer that i worry over. I’m a noble, and as such I must meet the noble standard. If I came out as ‘transgender’ it would be the biggest scandal House Goucester has ever faced. It would ruin my family.”

“I disagree, it would be a step forward. Not backward. As you remind us yourself constantly. Us nobility have to set an example for our people, we must show them what is right. Blah blah blah. If nobody in the nobility ever adopts modern ideals, then what does that teach our people about what is wrong and what is right?”

“I understand where you are coming from, ignoring your ‘blah blah blah’s’. But I don’t ever think my family would allow such ridicule. I’d probably be disowned for just thinking about changing my gender. And that would leave House Gloucester without an heir, and that would be a total disaster.”

“Hey. Who’s literally in charge of The Alliance in the first place? Me. And I have absolutely taken our country’s ideals and flipped them on their head. You think I give a shit if some stuffy nobility care that I want to unite Fódlan and the rest of the world? No. I don’t. And I wouldn’t get anywhere if I did, because The Alliance nobles are quite averse to change.”

“Well, you do realise, that it is actually important for a ruler to listen to others on his council. Secondly, these are not people who I can stand to let down, this is my father and family, I refuse to be the weak link in my noble bloodline.”

“If your father would disown you for accepting modern ideals, are you sure you’re really the ‘weak link’?”

“What!? What are you even suggesting? My father is a respectable and decent man, who although at times can be a bit of a dick, is overall a proper and honorable noble!”

“Sorry, sorry. I meant no offense, and I can tell you need some time alone, but just, think about it okay? You know that me, and the rest of the Golden Deer-

“The rest of the Golden Deer and I-

“Me and the rest of the Golden Deer, are here for you and we’ll support whatever you choose to be and do. Within reason of course.”

“Thank you Claude, I promise you that I will think about it. And I must also thank you for listening to me, through my.. Er, ungraceful freakout…”

“Hey, No problem. It happens to all of us. And, hey, come find me if you ever want to talk about anything, alright?”

“Very well, I suppose I could take you up on your offer. Good night Claude. Goddess bless.”

It was quiet, alone in his dormitory, looking out the window. There was hardly a sound, the whole monastery was silent. But Lorenz could not notice, for the thousand voices in his head, debating whether what Claude said was true… Was it? Lorenz thought, and thought, maybe the noble standard had changed. Maybe his father was wrong about tramsgender and other queer folk. Maybe he did deserve to be who he wanted. Maybe, just maybe, the world needed him as he wanted to be. No not him, maybe they needed her.

Maybe…

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fantomcomics · 5 years ago

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What’s Out This Week? 3/18

We love you. Wash your hands.

Artemis & Assassin #1 - Stephanie Phillips, Meghan Hetrick, & Francesca Fantini

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X-Ray Robot #1 (of 4) - Mike Allred, Laura Allred and Nate Piekos

Max is a family man seeking a more interesting life. While conducting a new experiment at work, the fabric of his reality is torn before his eyes, and a robotic figure appears, claiming to be his 277-year-old self. The robot is able to "X-Ray" multiple dimensions and battles a nihilistic entity from another dimension who wants to take all life to its "Pre-Big Bang" status. Max and the robot embark on an interdimensional roadtrip through past and future to take down the "Nihilist" and save the universe!

Hexagon #1 (of 5) - Michael Moreci & Jheremy Raapack

It's the 1980s and all twelve-year-old Don wants to do is play video games at the local arcade. Don's father, however, refuses to let him play. Egged on by his friends and trying to impress a girl, Don sneaks out to join an all-night game-a-thon. Defying the odds (and on his first quarter ever!), Don beats Crucible, a game long considered unbeatable. In an instant, his world is turned upside down when his victory triggers an alien invasion and sucks him into an intergalactic battle that has been raging for years, a battle his father was desperately trying to protect him from!

Wicked Things #1 - John Allison & Max Sarin

Nineteen year old Charlotte Grote has her whole life ahead of her; headed straight to Oxford and a future as a real detective-until she's framed for murder! Given the choice between going to jail basically forever or joining the police, Lottie decides to hit the beat, all while trying to find the real murderer. Lottie may have been running rings about the police since her 9th birthday, but she's never been on this side of the security tape. Could the future of law enforcement be 5'2" with an extremely strong bangs game? Yes. Very yes.

Hotell #1 (of 4) - John Lees & Dalibor Talajic

You won't find it on any map, but if you happen to be driving down Route 66 late at night and you're truly desperate for shelter, sanctuary or secrecy, you might see a battered sign on the side of the road: The Pierrot Courts Hotel. - where many check in but few check out.

Starship Down #1 (of 4) - Justin Giampaoli & Andrea Mutti

A cultural anthropologist consults with US Naval Intelligence to investigate the discovery of an extraterrestrial ship buried under the ice for thousands of years in Siberia. The meddling Russians, Vatican officials, the international media spotlight, and her own insecurities all threaten her efforts to keep the fabric of society from crumbling.

Outlawed #1 - Eve Ewing & Kim Jacinto

In the wake of a devastating tragedy, the United States passes a law that will shake the Marvel Universe to its core. The world has had enough of teen heroes. The crackdown has begun. And the lives of Marvel's next generation will never be the same again.

Spider-Woman #1 - Karla Pacheco & Pere Perez

Jessica Drew hasn't been feeling like herself lately (she's not a Skrull, we promise). When the angry, irritable, and unwell Spider-Woman takes a simple security gig to help get back on her feet, she finds herself besieged by unknown forces out to destroy everything around her. What's wrong with Jessica? Just how DID she get this job? And who are these violent lunatics who keep trying to blow her up? WHO CARES? Does Spider-Woman have someone to punch? THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS.

Red Border #1 (of 4) - Jason Starr, Will Conrad, and Ivan Nunes

A young Mexican couple narrowly escapes the Juarez Cartel by fleeing across the border into Texas, only to be run down in the desert by the Cartel's most brutal thugs. Rescued by a mysterious local who takes them to the safety of his family's ranch, the couple soon realize their hosts have more than just skeletons in their closet. Trapped in a house of horrors beyond their wildest imagination, the army of assassins on their trail might be the least of their problems.

Robin 80th Anniversary 100-Page Super Spectacular - Marv Wolfman, Tom Grummett & Various

DC Comics celebrates Robin the Boy Wonder's 80th anniversary in style with an all-star creative team representing each iteration of the iconic character across eight decades of history! From the high-flying adventures of Dick Grayson to the tragedy of Jason Todd, the enthusiasm of Tim Drake and the arrogance of Damian Wayne, the persistence of Stephanie Brown and the rebelliousness of Carrie Kelley-the mantle of Robin has been worn by many, but always represents one thing: a hero.

Resistance #1 (of 6) - J. Michael Straczynski & Mike Deodato

J. Michael Straczynski, creator of Babylon 5 and writer of beloved runs on The Amazing Spider-Man, Thor, and Superman: Earth One, returns to comics teaming with Mike Deodato Jr., the blockbuster artist of The Amazing Spider-Man, The Incredible Hulk, and Infinity Wars. Together they plant the flag for a new universe of heroes and villains. A global disaster leaves hundreds of millions dead in its wake. Shortly after, a few thousand suddenly manifest superhuman powers. Are they harbingers of more perils to come...or Earth's last hope?

Whatcha grabbing this week, Fantomites?

#What's Out This Week?#WOTW #Resistance #Robin 80th Anniversary 100-Page Super Spectacular #Red Border #Spider-Woman #Outlawed #Starship Down #Hotell #Wicked Things #Hexagon #X-Ray Bot #Artemis & Assassin #comic #comics #comic book #comic books

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