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pies-writes-and-more · 4 years ago

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allergic to you

Word Count: 3, 713

Pairing: Tsukishima Kei x High School Age!Fem!Reader

Warnings: some swear words I guess, but as per usual, it’s just fluff from me.

A/N: Guess who’s finally joined another fandom lol hello Haikyuu fandom! Pls be kind, it’s my first time writing for this fandom but I am in love with Karasuno boys, it’s problematic. Anyways, please let me know if you liked it! Sorry if I didn’t quite capture him the way other writers do haha. Also, Y/N = Your (Last) Name, just cause typing Y/L/N is exhausting lol my b

(Not my gif, credits to the original creator!)

Yamaguchi was trying his very hardest not to laugh, his hands clasped together in front of his lips to stifle his giggles as the tall blond boy he had known for years just looked at him desperately.

“It’s not funny,” Tsukishima’s lips formed into a frown (almost a pout), looking away from his friend nervously. His fingers played with some chopsticks, poking at his uneaten lunch.

Yamaguchi had never see Tsukishima Kei nervous. Volleyball games? Totally calm. Math class? Easy. Exam season? Piece of cake.

But put Tsukishima near a girl? No, scratch that. Not just any girl. Put Tsukishima near Y/N? It was all over for him. Suddenly, this 190cm tall boy wanted to shrink small enough to run away and not be noticed.

“It’s a little funny, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi insisted, finally letting out just a tiny chuckle that he just couldn’t hold back. “I think you’re overreacting. Just a bit.”

Tsukishima’s eyes turned back to the other boy, staring at him as if analyzing him, “How could I be overreacting? I’m telling you, I’m allergic!”

Yamaguchi was really trying his best to be supportive, knowing that talking about things was already hard for Tsukishima, especially when involving a particularly cute girl. “You think... you’re allergic... to Y/N,” Yamaguchi retorted slowly, repeating how Tsukishima started this convo with.

“Don’t be an idiot,” Tsukishima scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Obviously it’s some product she uses or something,” his nose scrunched up slightly as he tried to think of what it could possibly be. “Like that hand lotion she uses. The one that smells like vanilla and brown sugar,” Tsukishima proclaimed, nodding to himself like he had solved the mystery.

The green haired boy was still trying his best to be supportive. He nodded slowly, giving a forced smile to his best friend as he slowly spiralled into insanity. He had never seen Tsukishima this desperate for answers before. “Hasn’t she let you use some of that hand lotion?” He wondered aloud, remembering very specifically how red Tsukishima’s ears got when she rubbed a bit into a rash he had gotten on his hand.

“Gotta take good care of your hands if you play volleyball, Tsukishima-san!” Y/N had beamed, her fingers massaging the cream in.

Tsukishima had practically fainted that day, though he’d never admit it.

The blond’s frown tightened, holding his hand to his chin in thought, “Right. So not the hand lotion then.”

“Maybe she got a new perfume?” Yamaguchi offered, nibbling on some of his lunch while Tsukishima thought it out.

“No, she’s still using the same one,” He mumbled, and Yamaguchi smirked to himself, knowing that Tsukishima would’ve never admitted before that he knew little details like this about her.

“Well. what kinds of symptoms do you have? Maybe that’ll narrow it down,” Yamaguchi suggested, leaning his head back on the wall behind them. It wasn’t unusual for Tsukishima to want to eat some place quiet, but today had been the first day that he had practically dragged Yamaguchi to this small secluded spot behind the school. The two of them sat against a wall to eat, though Tsukishima’s lunch had been completely forgotten.

“I just-” Tsukishima hesitated, eyebrows furrowing in annoyance as he tried to word how his body felt every time she was around. “I always feel so lightheaded. And my heartbeat’s always irregular too. Sometimes it feels like I can’t breathe properly.” His hand slid into his jacket pocket, pulling out his phone and tilting the screen towards Yamaguchi to show him a medical diagnostic page on the web. “Some people say these are symptoms of allergies. Or an anxiety attack. But I’m leaning more towards allergies.”

Yamaguchi squinted at the text, “You... Googled it?” He asked, a playful smile on his lips, glancing up at Tsukishima, amused.

“Well, what else am I supposed to do?” Tsukishima scoffed, scrolling through the page. “I don’t know what else it could be. It’s not with anyone else. It can’t be the classroom either, cause when she’s not around, I don’t feel anything.”

“Hm. So what’re you going to do about it?” Yamaguchi asked, going along with this ‘allergic’ idea as much as he could. He knew Tsukishima was very rational and even if he suggested what he figured was happening, Tsukishima would never listen.

“D-Do?” Tsukishima blinked. He hadn’t thought about what the next step was.

“Well I assume you don’t want to keep feeling that like right? You could always ask the teacher to move you, I suppose. Then ask her not to attend any of our games. Avoiding her for the rest of your life seems like the best choice doesn’t it?” Yamaguchi asked innocently, closing up his lunch box and taking a sip from his juice.

Tsukishima stayed quiet, eyebrows still furrowed and the frown on his face tightening. He knew that made sense - one of the girls in their class was allergic to nuts and she always had to be careful what she ate, and he had even heard of some people not eating or drinking milk products because of allergies. The logical part of his brain agreed with Yamaguchi, perhaps staying away from Y/N was the only answer.

“Then... maybe it’s not an allergy,” Tsukishima mumbled quietly. He hated going back on his word but he couldn’t deny that he loathed the idea of not seeing Y/N’s smile ever again. Or seeing her sit with someone else. “Maybe it’s just something I have to get used to.”

“You know, Tsukishima,” Yamaguchi started again, looking off to the scenery that was in front of them. His voice was light and airy as he tried to coax his friend to the idea, “What you’re going through sounds a lot like-”

Tsukishima could hear it in his voice, he knew the next word forming from Yamaguchi’s lips before it even entered the air. He slammed his lunch box closed and stood up abruptly, turning away from the other boy’s eyes. “Lunch is over,” he grumbled, as if that was the reason he stood up so dramatically.

Yamaguchi smirked and packed up his things, shaking his head slowly when Tsukishima wasn’t looking. He wasn’t at all surprised that Tsukishima was having a hard time accepting his feelings.

The word hung in the very serious boy’s mind for the rest of the day. He tried not to focus so much on Y/N as he sat next to her for the rest of their classes, tried to not inhale too much or look in her general direction, in fear that his “allergy” would act up again.

He was almost positive it wasn’t... that. He would know for sure if it was, wouldn’t he? His nose scrunched slightly as he thought about the music he had listened to before, ones that had just a good melody and beat and he definitely didn’t listen to because of the lyrics since they were about... that thing.

Didn’t some people talk about their heart feeling like it was going to fall out of their chest? That they found it hard to breathe? That it was like all life stopped when they saw that person? And that despite all this, they never wanted to be without them?

Tsukishima had to get to the bottom of this. He was either experiencing some sort of allergic reaction to her or he was experiencing feelings. He thought about ignoring them, pretending like they didn’t exist so that maybe everything would go back to normal one day. But how long would that take? Wouldn’t it just be easier to rip off the bandaid and find out now?

At the end of class, Tsukishima zoomed his way out of class, not waiting for Yamaguchi like usual.

“Is he alright, Yamaguchi-san?” Y/N asked, surprised that the two best friends weren’t walking out together like they had every other day. Some days, they would even walk out with Y/N on their way to practice. But apparently, not today.

“He’s got a lot on his mind,” Yamaguchi explained, waving it away with a smile. Perhaps today he would be walking home by himself. And that was fine by him.

Y/N packed up her things and waved goodbye to her other classmates, heading out the door and slipping in her headphones. Her mind drifted to all the things she had to do when she got home, whether or not there were leftovers to heat up today or if she should cook something up.

“You take so long,” a drawl voice interrupted the very beginning of her first song. She blinked in surprise, looking to her right where Tsukishima was leaning against a tree.

Y/N pulled out one earbud, tilting her head as she watched him. It wasn’t like she hadn’t seen him do this casual, I-don’t-care-about-anything lean, with his headphones around his neck and his hands shoved in his pockets. But there was something different about him this time. Why was he avoiding her eyes? Why was he not giving her an annoyingly carefree smile? Why were his ears turning pink?

“Were you... waiting for me, Tsukishima-san?” Y/N asked slowly. He didn’t move for a moment, as if still calculating something in that big brain of his. He pushed off of the tree after sighing, walking over to her slowly.

“Obviously,” was all he said, glaring down at her as if she should’ve known this.

“You rushed out of class so quick, I thought you were already going home,” Y/N responded, still a bit confused. “Don’t you and Yamaguchi normally walk home together?”

Why did she have to question so much? Why couldn’t she just realize what he was trying to do? Tsukishima huffed and grabbed her hand, dropping a nice cool juice box in it. His eyes darted away from her next inquisitive look, but glanced back almost immediately because he wanted to see her eyes widen just a little at her favourite juice box.

“W-What is this?” Y/N asked, holding it in her hands. Part of her wanted to examine it to make sure he hadn’t somehow tricked her into holding something that wasn’t actually juice. She looked up at him suspiciously - Tsukishima knew her favourite juice?

“You didn’t have one with you today. I figured you forgot your wallet again today,” Tsukishima mumbled, shoving his hands in his jacket again.

“O-Oh. I did, thank you. Um,” Y/N hesitated. Was Tsukishima trying... to be nice? “Why... why did you buy it for me?”

“I just said why,” Tsukishima scoffed, flicking her head gently. He scolded himself internally, feeling guilty as soon as she showed the surprise on her face. She’s asking why you thought to be nice, Kei, stop being snarky, he told himself harshly. “Sorry,” he muttered quickly, feeling almost immediately bad for flicking her.

Y/N just laughed though, giggles spilling from her lips as she looked up at him, “Are you feeling okay, Tsukishima-san? You’re turning red,” she teased gently and he looked away from her quickly, hating how quickly his face heated up.

He took a breath, trying to mimic how calm he was on the court. He turned back to look at her with a cocky smile and confidence gaze, though he was sure she could tell he was nervous, “I’m fine, Y/N-san. But I need to tell you something. And I’m only going to say it once so listen up.”

Y/N watched him intently, noting the fake confidence he was trying to put on. She nodded as he looked at her for any sign to keep going.

His lips opened for a moment and Y/N could’ve sworn there was a moment of panic in his eyes when nothing came out. “I’m going to walk you home today,” Tsukishima stated finally, each word thudding into the air. He felt his confidence falter as the wrong words left his mouth, shifting his bag on his shoulder and starting to walk ahead.

Y/N’s eyebrows furrowed, feeling her confusion only rise. Did he really build up that whole thing... just to walk her home?

“Hurry up or I’ll leave you here,” Tsukishima called behind his shoulder, still walking ahead. He was internally punching himself, groaning and uttering insults at his own stupid self. Couldn’t even say it. Couldn’t just say Y/N I like you and I think I’m either allergic to you or I’m utterly in love with you but I’ve been told I suck at explaining how I feel and that I never say the right things at the right time so please just reject me so I can move away from these exhausting feelings.

“Want some?” Y/N’s gentle voice was suddenly beside him, and Tsukishima felt his stomach doing that flipping motion again. He glanced down at her and saw her holding up the juice box at him. “Seems only fair, since you bought it,” she explained, the glimmer in her eyes making him feel way too warm inside.

“Sure,” he mumbled after a moment. She smiled just a little bit wider, holding up the juice to him, expecting him to just snatch it away and drink. But no, Tsukishima being a little bitch and deciding that if he couldn’t admit anything with words, he could try with actions, leaned down slightly, and latched his lips onto the straw. His hand wrapped around hers over the juice box, holding it still as he took a sip.

Y/N felt like she was suddenly bright red, her heart possibly having exploded right then and there. His eyes looked up to meet hers as he sipped, smirking a bit as he noticed the panicked and flushed look in her eyes.

Maybe the feeling is... mutual?

“Mm,” he hummed, pulling away after keeping her gaze for a second. “I guess I can see why you like it.”

Y/N had shivers running up and down her spine, feeling like Tsukishima had looked into her very soul and knew about her year-long crush on him.

The two of them started walking a bit slower after that, and to the external eye, you’d probably just see two classmates walking home together. But look a little closer, and you’d see both of them having internal conflicts. They managed to walk through the small roads filled with shops and make it about halfway to Y/N’s house in complete silence.

“Y/N-san,” Tsukishima finally ended it, the agonizing silence, in which he had been racking his brain trying to think of how to start a conversation. He stopped in his tracks as he spoke the one word, the two of them now on a quieter dirt path. There was no one to interrupt them, no one to save Tsukishima from embarrassment, no Yamaguchi to fill the awkward silence.

“Hm?” Y/N looked back at him, noticing him just standing there. “Are you alright, Tsukishima-san?”

“There’s something I need to say,” he started, his hands in his pockets clenched into fists.

“O-Oh okay.”

“I’ve been... feeling sick around you.” Baka, he scolded himself for what felt like the millionth time. That definitely wasn’t the way he had wanted to say it. “I-I mean, not like sick sick but like allergy sick,” he tried to recover, but scoffed at himself since that wasn’t all that much better.

Y/N’s eyebrows furrowed in response, trying to think about his reactions lately. He had definitely been more flushed lately, but she always thought that was annoyance. He’d been quieter and more distant, but it was Tsukishima after all. He looked over to her desperately, hoping to see that she was understanding what he was trying to say. She wasn’t.

Tsukishima was starting to get frustrated. He knew he wasn’t the greatest at communicating but how hard was it to see how much he liked her? Yamaguchi saw it, hell, even his upperclassmen teased him about it when they first saw Tsukishima and Y/N walking out of class together one day. So why did other people who didn’t need to know it, why did they understand but she didn’t? Why was she so dense?

You’re not saying anything, his mind reminded him as he scowled to himself.

“It has to be that,” Tsukishima finally continued quietly, his eyes now staring at his feet. He was practically trying to convince himself now. It had to be that there was a health related issue with him being around her. It had to be that, because if it wasn’t, it meant that Tsukishima had to tell her how he felt. And that meant that he was probably going to end up hurt. Why a girl like Y/N hung around a guy like him anyways was beyond him.

“Why?” Y/N frowned, still terribly lost in the cosmos of this odd confession. “Why would it have to be that?”

“Because if it isn’t that, then it means that I’ve fallen completely head over heels for you.”

Tsukishima wasn’t sure how he had managed to say the words. But there it was. His fists tightened even more, his fingernails digging into his palm so hard it was starting to hurt.

His eyes closed tightly, turning his head away from her. He didn’t want to look. He didn’t want to see laughter or disgust in her eyes. Maybe he could take it back now. Maybe he could-

Tsukishima jumped at the feeling of a poke on his chest, his eyes opening in surprise when he found Y/N standing much closer than she was earlier. “Are you teasing me?” She asked defensively, squinting her eyes up at him.

“T-Teasing?” Tsukishima stammered. He watched her eyes, noting how visibly upset she looked and he could feel his frustration rising. He had finally said what he had wanted to say this whole time... and she wasn’t even reacting the way she was supposed to. How stupid did she have to be? And why did she have to look so damn cute while doing it?

“Yamaguchi-san told you, didn’t he? I knew that poophead couldn’t keep his mouth shut,” she grumbled, crossing her arms against her chest. “He swore he wouldn’t tell you, but I should’ve known. You guys are best friends and all.”

“Told me... told me what?”

“That I’ve liked you practically since we met,” Y/N huffed, putting her hands on her hips. “Listen, Tsukishima-san, if you don’t like me back, you don’t have to tease me like this. I’m perfectly fine being rejected,” she told him with a pout on her lips (she was definitely not fine being rejected, and was planning on crying at home after this). “Don’t act like you didn’t know.”

Tsukishima‘s eyes widened, staring at her like she had grown a second head. “You... You like me?” He gulped. His allergies must be getting worse, his heart was thumping so hard against his chest, he couldn’t think straight.

Y/N and him shared a confused look for a moment, neither one of them sure who was teasing whom at this point. “Didn’t... didn’t you know? That’s why you’re being nice to me?” She asked him, poking his chest again. “Why else would you be walking me home and buying me juice?”

“Why would...” Tsukishima’s lips curled into a smile and suddenly he burst out into laughter, tilting his head back in amusement.

“Why are you laughing?” Y/N whined, punching his arm lightly with a huff. “This isn’t a time to be laughing at me!”

Tsukishima straightened up with his signature cocky smile, shaking his head as he fixed his glasses on his face. Then, his hand moved to hit the top of her head.

“OW! Tsukishima-san!”

“You idiot. Why would I be standing here confessing to you if I was just going to make fun of you?” Tsukishima scoffed, smirking at her. “If I didn’t like you back and I found out you liked me, don’t you think I would’ve made it clear by now that you never stood a chance?”

Y/N thought about this for a moment, remembering that one time a girl in a different class had confessed to him after attending one of his matches.

“I think you’re incredible, Tsukishima-san! A-And I just.... well I just...”

“Are you trying to confess to me?” Tsukishima didn’t even bother looking up from his study book, finishing an equation before even glancing at her. “You should just give up now. I’m not interested.”

The girl had teared up so much, even Y/N had felt bad (even though she was secretly happy that Tsukishima hadn’t accepted the confession). Yamaguchi had yelled at Tsukishima about being gentle that day.

“Why would I be nice to someone stupid enough to think I’d like them? I didn’t give her any hints that I did, I don’t even know her,” Tsukishima grumbled.

Y/N had internalized those words, deciding she wouldn’t confess her feelings to Tsukishima ever. If she did, and Tsukishima rejected her, he probably wouldn’t want to be around her as friends ever again.

“So...” Y/N thought to herself for a moment, trying to reexamine what had happened today. “What was with the juice box then?” She asked him.

“I thought...” Tsukishima frowned a little, looking up at the sky in thought. “I thought when you confess you were supposed to... give a gift or something.”

Y/N couldn’t help but giggle at his thought process and Tsukishima glared at her slightly. “You’re laughing at me now?”

She shook her head quickly, trying to stifle her giggles, “I just... I think it’s sweet,” she beamed, holding onto her little juice box even though it was empty now.

Tsukishima watched her carefully before smiling a little, patting her head gently, “Alright then, let’s get you home. I’ll bring another juice box for you for our date.”

“D-Date?” Y/N repeated shyly, following him as he started to walk again.

“You thought I’d just confess to you and not ask you out? Idiot,” Tsukishima smirked, feeling such an intense relief on his shoulders. His heart was still beating furiously and his stomach felt like it was going to come up his throat, but... it wasn’t as frustrating of a feeling now.

After he dropped her off at her house with the promise of walking her to school tomorrow morning, Tsukishima couldn’t help but allow himself to smile widely the whole way home.

If this is what an allergy felt like, he never wanted it to stop.

** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

Okay like I mentioned up there in the Author’s Notes, this is my first time writing for Haikyuu so lmk what you thought :) I’ve written some stuff for OHSHC and I think it’s pretty obviously that tall jerks with glasses are my type lol

Anyways! Enjoy!

1K notes · View notes

kiridarling · 4 years ago

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[a/n: is this a week late? yes. happy belated-valentine's day angels <3]

—ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴀɴ 𝟷𝟾+ ʙʟᴏɢ. ᴍɪɴᴏ��s ᴅɴɪ

𝐊𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐢 𝐁𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐠𝐨𝐮; 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐇𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐥

→ Definitely went to work that day

→ Not a huge romantic but wake up to find a hot breakfast with a note left on the counter.

Happy Valentines Day, dumbass. Love you.

— k.b

→ When he returns from work, Katsuki buys you roses and shoves them into your chest with an eye roll. You thank him and he responds with a grunt before insisting you put on something nice because he’s taking you out on a dinner date whether you like it or not.

→ Katsuki takes you to the fanciest restaurant—so fancy you feel a little bad that he has to pay, even despite his Pro Hero status. But you’re his, and spoiling you might as well be his love language.

→ Halfway through dinner, Katsuki starts getting a little frisky. Sliding the rough leather of his oxfords up the inside of your thigh, winking and biting his lip. You tell him to stop but you only half-mean it, and the knowing grin on his face lets you know he knows.

"Careful, baby. You don't want the waitress to know how much of a dirty slut you are, do you?”

→ He’s condescending as fuck but you’re totally here for it, and the second he pays for the meal you two are speeding down the highway to a love hotel (per Katsuki’s plan, apparently). You barely make it to the bedroom before you’re all over each other, and if it weren’t for that family of four in the elevator, you definitely wouldn’t have.

→ He tells you to get on the bed and strip, and who are you to deny him of such a luxury? He pulls a plastic black bag out of a different bag—it’s clearly full. With what, you may ask?

→ Sex toys!

→ Katsuki’s endgame is simple—make you cum until you can’t anymore. Not that he’s told you explicitly, but he’s got a Hitachi pressed to your sex and two fingers slamming into you just the way you like it. With your wrists comfortably tied above your head, it doesn’t take him long to bring you to your climax, cheeks burning and thighs shaking.

→ Peering at you under the sweaty mess of ash-blond hair, the fire in Katsuki's eyes only adds fuel to the burning of your gut as the vibrator continues whirr. The realization settles in with a shiver. Oh. Oh fuck, he's not stopping.

“Again.”

→ So, you cum again. And again, and again, and by the time you’re on the fifth it gets a bit hard to feel your toes and you’re so sensitive your thighs burn. All you want is his cock, but for some reason, it’s fucking impossible for him to give it to you.

→ Upon voicing your concerns, Katsuki’s devilish smile only grows wider.

“You want this cock that bad, slut? Yeah? Fine then, fuckin’ choke on it.”

→ It’s basically cannon that one of Katsuki’s favorite things to do is watch you struggle to take all of him, but in this position, all you can do is lay back with bound hands as he fucks your face. It’s sloppy and your eyes and throat burn, but it's totally worth it to hear Katsuki fall apart in your mouth.

“S-So good—fuck—such a good whore, taking all of me, aren’t you?”

→ Katsuki pulls out before he cums in your throat in favor of flipping your limp body into downward dog and stuffing you full of cock in one swift move, the bastard.

→ Katsuki’s never been one to take things slow in bed—to him, it’s all hard and fast and now. You’re scrambling for purchase in the sheets as he pounds into that sweet spot he knows you love, and you feel your fully spent sex twitching back to life anyway. Fuck, fuck. Are you going to cum again?

→ Katsuki seems to catch onto this as well, sweaty chest dropping against your back and the cool of his dog tag tickling your neck as his hand rubs between your legs, muttering dirty nothings in your ear.

“You gonna cum for me, baby? Yeah? Gonna make a fuckin’ mess all over yourself like the slut you are? Fuckin’ do it. Fuckin—fuck—”

→ You two cum at the same time, toes curling and ribcage shuddering, and then—

→ Darkness.

→ You wake up in a few hours, properly clean in fresh sheets. Turns out baby boy fucked you so hard you passed out, but it's okay because he’s found reruns of your favorite show on and is fully prepared with water and snacks.

→ (And he’ll never tell you, but he fully panicked and called Eijirou. Obviously, he knew you were alive, but…what if you passed out because of a problem? A concussion? Internal bleeding, maybe?)

→ (Eijirou ensures him that though this should NOT happen every time, it can happen from exhaustion. To say Katsuki relaxes after that is an understatement.)

(Stay safe angels <3)

And speaking of Eijirou...

𝐄𝐢𝐣𝐢𝐫𝐨𝐮 𝐊𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐚; 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐤𝐞

→ Definitely did not go to work that day.

→ Today, Eijirou plans to treat you like the princess you are. Cooks you breakfast in bed (after almost burning down the kitchen trying to make bacon but shhh we don’t talk about that) books you a full day spa and has Mina take you shopping for a new outfit for your "fancy date" that night.

→ The location? A surprise.

→ It’s dark by the time you and Mina pull up, but the moment you hop out the car she speeds away. Um. She could’ve at least said bye.

"[Y/N?]"

→ Looks like Eijirou brought you to a lake. You wonder who helped him bundle the fairy lights in the trees and set up the picnic because knowing your man and his coordination, it would’ve taken a forever for him to set this up.

→ But all those thoughts shatter the second you see that he’s on his knees, clutching a velvet box with a gorgeous diamond ring sat in the center. Not too flashy, but not too dull.

“U-Uh.”

→ Eijirou swallows then blinks, the only sign that he’s the least bit nervous for this.

“See…I swear I had planned something to say, but you look…holy shit, um—stunning, you look stunning.”

→ His compliment goes over your head though. Of course it does, he’s holding an engagement ring. He chuckles, averting his eyes to the ground.

“Listen, um, you can say no...B-But uh, I love you a lot—obviously—and I’ve been thinking about this a lot, kind of, because you’re like…the love of my life, ya know? I mean, I know everyone says that and everything but like, I really mean it? But if I’m going too fast o-or you just don’t wanna get married or something, I totally get it because obviously this is outta the blue and everything b-but um…yeah.”

→ You let him stutter through the whole thing because, well. It’s cute.

→ ...And then you tackle Eijirou to the ground with renewed passion and slam your lips onto his. His “babe! The ring!” is muffled but you snort anyway, blindly groping for it through the grass. The moment you find it, you shove it into his palm and stick your hand in his face, and with a (very sexy) chuckle, the redhead slides it onto your ring finger.

“I’ll take that as a yes then?”

→ No shit, Sherlock.

→ Either way, the picnic in the dark is abandoned in favor of yanking Eijirou's pants off and giving him the best head of his life. Because goddammit, you love this man so much and he needs to feel it.

→ Afterward, he insists on returning the favor. A wild Gentle Dom Kiri appears and as he eats you out, he mutters a deadly combination of the sweetest and dirtiest things you’ve ever heard.

“Fuck, you feel so good. So tight and wet. And it’s all for me, isn’t it, baby?"

“You’re gonna cum, angel? Do it. Cum all over Daddy’s face.”

→ Once you semi-recover from your orgasm, he flips you on your hands and knees and slowly pushes inside of you (though not without putting on a condom because safety first, angels). You tell him to speed up, but he denies your request. This time around, Eijirou's going to take the time to love you.

→ As he slowly fucks you under the stars, he dips his chin into your neck as his bigger hands encompass your own. As he starts to play with the ring on your finger, you watch something wet hit the picnic blanket, followed by a sniffle.

“Gosh, fuck—I love you so much. A-And I’m really happy you said yes. I…”

→ You cum first and Eijirou isn’t far behind, shuddering against your spine. Your fiancé unceremoniously rolls onto the picnic blanket next to you, his temple kissing the crest of your skull as the two of you use the comfortable silence to cool down, half-naked under the milky way.

→ In your comfortable silence, you lift your left hand to the stars, fingers splayed to reveal the twinkling diamond solidifying the bond between the two of you. Eijirou hums, hooking his chin on your shoulder.

"Pretty, isn't it?"

𝐃𝐞𝐧𝐤𝐢 𝐊𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐢; 𝐒𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐀𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐃𝐚𝐲

→ Both of you are painfully single and most importantly, strangers. Strangers who think alike and had the glorious forethought to drown your sorrows at a nightclub with a lot of alcohol.

→ Denki, as he does, accidentally knocks over his liquor-filled cup, completely drenching your bottoms. He apologizes and insists on helping you clean up though getting awfully close to your crotch, but both of you are too tipsy to notice.

→ After the liquor spill, you swap embarrassing love stories and lament over the “hardships of being single.” (Denki’s words.)

→ A few hours pass. You’re tired and ready to go home and Denki requests to walk you home to make sure you get back safely. Not that you live far, maybe ten minutes, but by the time you reach your door, you feel like you've known the electric blond your whole life. After saying goodbye and almost closing the door, Denki blurts out a half-drunken confession...or something like that:

“I—uh, y-you are—uhm, no…this is—“

→ You give him a look, a half-smile at best, and it seems to churn the gears in his brain again.

“This was uhm, really fun and uh, I think you’re really cool.”

→ So naturally, when you invite him inside, he squeals.

→ After a few more drinks and a few more spillages (Denki’s never been a deft drunk), you two finally get over your inner thoughts and start kissing on the couch. It’s hot and messy, and the alcohol in your veins makes it oh, so hot.

→ Denki doesn’t expect you to offer head but when you do he nearly cries, scrambling to pull his pants off while you make space for yourself between his thighs. Due to the fact that there’s alcohol pumping in Denki’s veins and he hasn't been touched by someone else in at least a year, he’s extra-sensitive. And vocal.

"F-Fuck gorgeous, you're so good at this...o-oh shit, do that again—yeah, yeah just like that."

→ His hips quiver, and he bucks into your mouth on accident. It earns him a glare and a light slap on the thigh, and you make a mental note to unpack the broken moan that interrupts his apology later.

→ It doesn't take Denki a long time to cum—five minutes max. He plans to give you a warning but his orgasm runs up on the electric blond so quickly he doesn't even get a warning. When Denki orgasms in your mouth with a choked moan, it's only natural that you pull away in alarm, ribbons of semi-translucent cum flying just about everywhere.

→ To say you're pissed is an understatement (because your poor, poor carpet), but Denki feels terrible and is already reaching for the roll of paper towels you left on the coffee table from your cleaning spree this morning, apologies flying out of his mouth like an auctioneer.

→ Obviously, he's going to make it up to you. Not only for making an absolute mess in your living room (seriously, Denki doesn't know if he's ever come that much in his life) but for the bomb head, and he wants to make you feel just as good as you made him feel.

→ Both of you stumble to your room, the mood miraculously rekindled, and you're not sure what to make of Denki's desperation as he claws at your bottoms, pupils blown to the size of dinner plates. And though it's cheesy, you can't help but shiver when he finally gets eyes on your sex, wetting his bottom lip and the grip around your thigh tightening as he catcalls the apex between your thighs before diving in.

"Hello pretty~"

→ Like any pervert with a vivid imagination, Denki's got a mental warehouse of sex tips and tricks and burns to watch you squirm from his touch. He wants you red-faced and breathless and isn’t shy about it, actively paying attention to your reactions when he curls his fingers or uses his tongue just right.

"Oh, you taste so good sweet thing. So pretty and wet...did I do all this, gorgeous?”

→ Also, electro-stimulation? Yes please.

→ Denki's tentative about it at first because he’s not sure how you’ll react, but once you give him that pretty little moan you've been holding back all evening, you two are going nowhere but hell.

→ His dick hurts from being hard for so long and the second you cum, he’s practically begging to fuck you.

“Please? Please gorgeous? Shit, you felt so good in my mouth I just wanna—I need to—please?”

→ Like you needed any convincing in the first place.

→ You ride him per his request—and will definitely make you repeat things back to him, just because he likes how embarrassed and blushy you get. If you refuse? He’ll be an absolute tease about it. (But only for a bit, because we all know his patience isn’t that great.)

"Yeah? You like this cock? Tell me. Tell me how good my cock makes you feel, gorgeous."

→ There's no way Denki lasts very long (again)—definitely with you in his lap. When he cums, it’s cute and breathless, and his nose scrunches into his eyes. But if he came twice, you should too right?

→ The next morning, Denki's gone. But in his place, there’s a note with his number and an explanation:

had to go to work! lol i have the fattest hangover kill me now ty. either way, you should text me. i wasn't kidding when i said i thought you were cool lol.

(xxx)-xxx-xxxx

— kaminari

[a/n: gah XD my brain melted from writing that um-

also don’t worry about the family of four at the love hotel...they were...um...forced to stay there due to an emergency...lol :) see you soon, angels <3]

#— 𝐊𝐀𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐈 #— 𝐄𝐈𝐉𝐈𝐑𝐎𝐔 #— 𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐊𝐈 #bnha headcanons #bakugou headcanons #denki headcanons #kirishima headcanon #bnha fanfiction #bakugou smut #denki smut #kirishima smut #bakugou x reader #denki x reader #kirishima x reader #bnha smut

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inkandpen22 · 3 years ago

Text

The Princess and The Pogue (pt. 3)

Pairing: JJ x Female!Reader / Topper x Female!Reader

Warnings: underage drinking, mild swearing, mentions of drugs

Words count: 2k (it’s short but the next part is long)

Part Summary: As the night dwindles away, JJ feels pressured to secure a place in your life. His chances grow times ten when Sarah arrives with some interesting news.

Masterlist

You and JJ share a log around the fire. His arm rests over your thigh, his hand gripping your knee slightly. Your chin rests on his shoulder as you two exchange whisper back and forth, making the Pogues sick with how lovey-dovey you two already are becoming.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” JJ asks, kinda hoping he could ask you for real date but he’ll understand if you already have plans.

“Hanging out with you,” you cheekily answer, earning a blushing grin from him.

“Oh! cool, cool...” He presses his lips together with a faint laugh, finding it hard to hide his childish grin.

You giggle at his bashfulness. He’s so shy around you and you can’t help but find it adorable.

"Here comes Sarah!" Kiara announces as he spots their friend's car rolling up the drive.

You and JJ finally break your hype-focused attention away from each other. Almost to make up for the lack of verbal communication, JJ shifts closer to you and plants a quick peck to your temple.

"Hey! Sorry for the delay!" Sarah announces as she walks over from her car. John B rises from his position, trying to intercept Sarah before she sees you and JJ. Once she reaches John B, she notices how you and JJ are sitting. Her brows scrunch together, but she does her best to mask her confusion. "My parents were having a hissy fit about me borrowing the car. I told them and Y/N's parents that we were staying the night at Kiara's since she doesn't feel well. I hope that's okay, Kie," she asks as she gets closer to the bonfire.

"Yeah, no problem!" Kiara waves her hand, not caring at all.

"Wait, so what's the game plan?" You ask Sarah, but also everyone else for their input. You're thankful for the group's help, but weren't exactly prepared for an overnight stay. You understand why Sarah did this nonetheless.

"You all can stay here tonight," John B shrugs as the Pogues do it all the time.

"Your parents believed it," Sarah assures you. "I would just text your parents to help it seem more legit."

"Okay! I'll text my mom," you comply with enthusiasm.

Hey, I told Sarah to tell you but in case she didn't, we're staying over at Kiara's tonight. I had to drive her home in her dad's car because we think she got food poisoning or something. I'll text you when I'm heading out in the morning. Sarah can drive me home or something :)

"Finally! It'll be nice not being the only girl! I was kinda hoping you and Sarah would stay over anyway," Kiara adds, offering you a kind smile.

"That makes two of us," JJ whispers for only you to hear.

"My folks were pretty pissed about me ditching on the party, so I feel no urge on going home," Sarah huffs, right as John B asks for her to help him inside real quick.

You and JJ watch as John B escorts Sarah inside by the arm. They try to be nonchalant, but it's so obvious they're freaking out. Sarah's whispers aren't exactly quiet and John B's doing his best to fill her in on what he knows.

JJ turns his face toward yours with a smirk, suppressing his laughter. "They're definitely talking about us."

"Oh for sure!" You nod slowly with a snicker.

You two share in your amusement as your friends slowly lose their minds. A Pogue from The Cut was caught kissing the Princess of the OBX. If your friends from the other side of the island found out they would have an even more dramatic reaction.

Your phone buzzes in your lap and it's from your mom.

Ok. Text me when you wake up.

"All set!" You voice to everyone remaining around the fire. "I doubt they'll even care since "I'm still on the Figure 8,” you make air quotes.

"Yay!" Kiara claps her hands.

"I say we watch a scary movie tonight!" JJ suggests beside you.

"The Conjuring!" You vote swiftly, earning a laugh from JJ.

"No!" Pope instantly refuses. "Nope! Last time we watched that you guys made me sleep on the porch and I heard creeks all night!"

"Aw, I'll stay with you tonight Pope," Kiara offers, reaching for her friend's hand with a pout. "I'll keep you safe from all the ghosties."

JJ leans in brushes his lips against your ear. "You gonna keep me safe?"

You smile softly, turning your head toward him as you nod slowly. "I'll have your back if you have mine."

His beautiful eyes meet yours in the gold flickering light of the fire. "Always, Baby." He plants a kiss to your lips, this time slow and comforting, as though you two have been doing it forever.

___________________________________________________________

All six of you are gathered in the living room, watching The Conjuring. John B and JJ insisted that all lights in the house must be off, much to Pope's dismay. Kiara and Pope are positioned on the carpet, their backs against the couch. Pope has been hiding in a ball with his face behind the blanket he shares with Kiara. Sarah and John B are sprawled comfortably on the couch, well invested in the movie. You and JJ share the old red recliner, tucked close in a ball under a comforter. Right before the movie starts to get interesting, you shift forward in your position. JJ whines, disappointed in the loss of contact. His pouty face makes you giggle and he playfully tries to keep you close by holding onto your wrist.

"I need another drink, anyone else?" You offer quietly, making sure not to step on Kiara or Pope on the floor on the way to the kitchen. You receive various forms of declines as you do your best to navigate your way through the dark and unfamiliar house.

Finally finding yourself in the kitchen, you make yourself a glass of water. The moonlight shining through the window over the sink acts as your saving grace. Suddenly, you feel a pair of arms slip around your waist, causing you to jump.

"Hey, Gorgeous," the blonde whispers against your neck.

"JJ!" You gasp your heart racing.

"Did I scare you?" He chuckles quietly to not alert the others.

You spin in his hold and nudge him on the shoulder playfully. "You did that on purpose!"

"Not really but-" In one swift motion, JJ picks up and places you on the counter. He parts your legs to stand between them. His palms glide up and down your thighs. "That I did mean to do," he smirks, biting down on his lip.

"JJ! Y/N! You're going to miss the wardrobe part!" Pope shouts, his voice shaky with fear.

"I wish I had spoken to you sooner," JJ confesses abruptly, completely his friend in the next room. All he cares about right now is you.

"Dido," you smirk, placing your arms over JJ's shoulders.

"Really?" He voices in disbelief. Despite how much you've reassured him or have reciprocated his affections, he still isn't convinced that you truly like him.

"That first time I saw you at the Cameron's?" You recall with raised brows. "Um, yeah! You looked hot in that pale green Ron Jon shirt."

"I can't believe you remember that," he shakes his head, leaning in closer to you. I thought there was no way you'd know who I am."

"JJ," you say his name in a mild groan with a toss of your head. How can this boy not see how amazing he is? "You're definitely worth remembering."

"It was at the Boneyard," he states a matter-of-factly.

"What was?" You grin.

"The first time I ever saw you," he tilts his head back slightly, relieving his sharp jawline. "You were dancing with Topper on the wall. The fire made your skin glow and shimmer like bronze. You wore a navy blue bikini with ripped white booty shorts. Your hair was half up and all I could think about was how much I wanted to run my fingers through it. You were the most beautiful girl I had ever seen," he tells you, never once breaking eye contact.

"That was last summer!" You can't believe he remembers that.

"I know," he replies as though it's completely ordinary.

Your jaw drops, "you're saying you've been waiting to talk to me for a year?!"

"Okay well, when you put it that way," he tries to play it off and be cool now.

"Aw JJ!" You express a little too excitedly, bringing your hands to his cheeks.

JJ is quick to press his hand over your mouth. "Shh, Baby. Before you alert everyone in the living room!" Mischievously, you plant a kiss on his palm, catching him off guard. JJ swallows hard, peering down at you with hooded eyes. "Okay, now you're just teasing me."

You place your hand over his and remove it from your mouth. "You make it too easy," you giggle in a whisper.

JJ simply stares down at your lips as he bites down on his own. Before you have a chance to react, he hungrily presses his lips to yours. Ever kiss up until now has been gentle, new, and hesitant. Now, JJ is forgetting his nerves and is acting on impulse. He breaks away from you and moves his assault to your neck. You comb your fingers through his thick blonde hair, gripping the strands on the back of his neck.

"JJ," you pant breathlessly as your eyes fall shut. "What are you doing?"

"Making up for lost time," he breathes against your neck. I'm really kicking myself right now."

"It's my fault too," you try to speak as JJ makes a track down your neck to your collarbone. "I could've at least said 'hi' instead of smiling like an idiot."

"At least you were nice," JJ mumbles against your chest. "I was a statue. Plus, I always thought you and Rafe may be-"

"Ew! Don't even finish that sentence," you scoff in disgusts.

"You were always at the Cameron's. He's always on top of you and watches you like a hawk," JJ explains as he pops up for air.

"He's had a thing for me for a while now. I've turned him down," you inform him.

JJ frowns in confusion. "Why?"

You figured it would've been obvious, especially considering how much JJ hates Rafe. "He's an arrogant ass. He thinks he's invincible and I hate people like that."

"Well, you can tell him you're taken now," JJ grins, leaning in to kiss you.

"Oh, I am?" You question playfully against his lips.

"Yep," the boy nods as he begins to glide his lips across your jawline. "You're mine... and only mine..." He whispers, making you bite your lip with anticipation. Boy, this kid knows how to get you turned on. "I'll make sure everyone in the OBX knows it too," he declares as he starts to suck on the sensitive skin on your neck. At the rate JJ is going, he's certain to leave a mark or two, just as he wanted.

"You guys!" Kiara calls this time.

JJ huffs with annoyance as he appears out from your neck. "Coming!" He shouts, completely unfazed by what he was just doing. "Got you're so sexy," he plants a quick peck to your lips. "I hope you know I'm going to be dying through this entire movie."

Ever the gentleman, he grips your waist and helps you down from the counter. He slips his hand into yours and grabs your water with the other before leading the way back into the living room.

"She couldn't find the sodas in the fridge. I had to grab a new box from the back," he conjures up as you two cross the living room toward the recliner.

"Sureee," John B and Sarah say in unison with amusement.

"Sorry guys, what did we miss?" You ask while you and JJ get settled.

After you take a quick sip from your water, you place it on the side table between the recliner and the couch before getting comfortable again with JJ.

"Nice water, Y/N." Sarah giggles as she peaks over from the couch at your hand, earning an eye roll from JJ.

"The crazy demon lady jumped on the daughter. I hate this!" Pope rushes out to answer your question.

"Oh my God! You're fine, Pope!" Kiara groans, not hiding her annoyance.

"I wish it wasn't so dark in here!" Pope shouts dramatically.

"I kinda like it," JJ purrs in your ear.

You turn your head to the side and he plants a kiss on your lips. As the others watch the movie, you and JJ spend most of the time whispering back and forth or too caught up in each other physically to talk at all. Of course, you two are respectful of your friends and keep it PG. Yet, you can't get enough of each other. It's all so soon, energetic, and freeing. As the thought of tomorrow morning lingers in the back of your mind, you’re starting to dread the idea of parting from JJ.

__________________________________________________

Masterlist

Tags: @starkeythinker @bethii1 @thegunnerkelly @cc13723things

#jj maybank fic #jj mayback x reader #jj maybank imagines #jj maybank fluff #jj #john b routledge #sarah cameron #rafe obx #pope #kiara #topper obx #obx jj #obx #obx fanfiction #outterbanks #outer banks #topper outer banks

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drawlfoy · 3 years ago

Text

detention retention finale p.1

masterlist (read parts 1-2 here!) request guidelines

pairing: draco x reader

request: no this series is from my original idea however i did take inspo from quite a few people (credited at the bottom of this)

summary: gryffindor y/n is put to the test when she tries to use her detentions with draco malfoy to get close enough for him to share his secret. unfortunately, things are never as simple as they seem. (set in 6th year)

warnings (plz pay attention to these this time): blood, violence, mild gore, mentions of wanting to throw up, you’re just kinda not having a great time during this chapter. also, kinda dark!harry trope here. it is a little ooc, i know, but it was what worked and so i ran with it. also, i play around with the timeline of events that occur in hbp so just expect that

a/n: the long awaited p1 of the finale is here! the second half is almost entirely written save for a few scenes, and i expect to get that out in the next few days (so much less than a week). i really appreciate you all being patient--i wrote and rewrote the potion scene about 3-4 times because it just wasn’t the vibes that i wanted, but i’m semi happy with how it turned out and at this point i’m just gonna go crazy if i keep trying to restructure it so here we go. all the loose ends will b tied up in the last part and y/n is finally gonna catch a break ;) so as always lmk what you think!

word count: 8.7k

here’s a spotify playlist inspired by this fic!

tags: @gruffle1 @missmultifandommess @cleopatera @hahaboop @accio-rogers @geeksareunique @eltanin-malfoy @war-sword @cams-lynn @itsivyberry @ayo-cowbelly @nerd-domland @yesnerdsblog @shizarianathania @evanstanfanatic @strawberriesonsummer @hariosborn @night-ving @straightzoinked @imintoodeeptostop @naiomimoonshard @jejegu @ophelia-enthusiast @alwaysbeanunknownfan @nearly-memories @litty-dumb @callieclearwater @malfoy-wife15 @charlenasaxen @belladaises @fiantomartell @yiamalfoy @crystalox @dracoismybabey @dreamcxtcherr @decaffeinated-turtle @marrymetheonott @felicityofbakerstreet @daedreamss

enjoy >:)

Snape’s stores were much more difficult to crack than she’d expected. She’d managed to steal one ingredient from there once, but back then all she had to do was disengage the multiple jinxes that guarded the door. Since, unfortunately, her slimy old Potions professor appeared to have felt a compulsion to fluff his nest and redecorate. A new painting was hung on the door--one of a large raven with beady, intelligent eyes that followed her as she walked past as inconspicuous as she could, no doubt preparing to fly off into the painting’s grey sky to alert his master. Her father had something similar to this in front of his Gringotts vault. She resolved to speak with him over the break to try and find a way in.

Not like she’d had any chance to execute her plan, anyways. It had been two weeks since Y/N had so much as had a simple interaction with Draco. Every time she tried to talk to him, he turned his attention away from her, offering her a disinterested sniff in response or just outright pretending like he didn’t notice her. Pansy Parkinson seemed to take joy in this development, though she was hardly getting anything on her end save for a few dry looking conversations as Draco’s body angled away from her.

Without the “distraction” of friendship and genuine human connection, Y/N had plenty of time to emotionally free-fall into an internal moral crisis. She supposed that Draco wasn’t expecting her to keep up her end of the deal now, just as her Gryffindor friends had given up on trying to make her useful. Physically, nothing was stopping her from walking right up to McGonagall during one of her detentions and telling her that Draco Malfoy was making an attempt on the headmaster’s life. But was it really worth it? Every time the thought crossed her mind, all she could think about was the way Draco looked when he talked about his mother, the way a shiny film glazed over his eyes and his eyebrows knit together.

She’d made a promise. Too much was at stake. While she had failed her friends, she was at least not going to fail Draco...not when the rest of the world had betrayed him.

Y/N was slowly sifting through thoughts like those when Katie Bell stepped foot into the Great Hall for the first time in a month. Her legs, slightly wobbly from being on bedrest for the better half of November, carried her down the aisle towards the trio of Y/N’s now ex-friends. Her soliloquy was interrupted by the familiar sound of Harry’s voice as he spoke, hushed and rather quickly, to Katie, his hands animated and his frame bent slightly lower so he could speak quietly. It didn’t take much imagination to discern what the topic of their discussion was as their eyes flickered over to the Slytherin table. She managed to hear a few snippets as the wind from the owls blew in and carried it towards her:

“Malfoy--”

“Was it?”

“...remember?”

Katie, lips pressed into a thin line, shook her head. Harry bit his own lip and swung around to look at a blond figure further down the aisle. Draco. He was staring at the meeting, his body entirely frozen while he took it in.

Oh, Draco.

Before either party could say anything, he was already turned around and speeding off outside of the hall. She swallowed; Harry and the rest of her Gryffindor peers were conversing and not casting a single look her way. Taking a deep breath, she got up from her seat, leaving her half eaten toast behind.

It didn’t take long to locate Draco--Myrtle’s bathroom was hardly a minute’s walk away from the Great Hall. He was in the same position she saw him there last, his head hanging over the sink basin while his body heaved.

“Draco,” she called out.

He snapped around, his eyes wild and his hair slightly wet at the tips. It occurred to her that he’d splashed his face with water. “Come around again for a formal Katie Bell confession?”

“No!” she exclaimed. No matter how much she tried, she couldn’t get herself past the doorway. Not when his wand was raised at her like that. “I wouldn’t do that. I would never do that.”

“That’s rich, coming from you,” he snarled. “Do you really expect me to believe anything you say?”

“Please,” said Y/N. “Please let me explain.” Despite the sting of his words, she couldn’t help but feel some degree of relief when she realized that he was finally speaking to her again, finally acknowledging her again.

He let out a huff of disbelief. “This isn’t about you. Don’t you get it? It doesn’t matter whether or not you explain. You lied to me. You put my family in danger, me in danger. And for what? A date with Potter?”

“What?” All the air left her lungs as she stared at him. “It was never like that!”

“Save it.” His tone, a bitter blend of vileness and defeat, echoed off the stone of the bathroom floor. Y/N was overwhelmed with the urge to run up to him and just beg him to forgive her, but the fire in his eyes and the angry twist of his mouth told her that that wasn’t an option. Instead, she slowly crept towards him. His eyes blazed as she neared him holding her hands up. “Please, Draco. I’m begging you.”

His composure slipped, his wand shaking slightly in the air while he caught his bottom lip on his teeth and stared at her with a look she couldn’t quite place. She was just about to ask him about it when a pair of footsteps stopped right outside the bathroom.

“I know what you did, Malfoy!” Harry appeared, brandishing his wand and pointing it at him with conviction. “You hexed her, didn’t you? Katie?”

Draco sucked in a wheezy breath, struggling to stand up entirely straight as he held his wand at the ready.

“You’re not even gonna deny it?”

“Let me guess, Y/L/N couldn’t get a confession out of me so you’re here to pick up the slack?” Draco finally snarled. “How cute.”

“Shut up!” roared Harry. She’d never seen him look so furious before. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I think I do,” he said menacingly, the usual cool confidence she associated with him slowly reappearing in his demeanor as he twirled his wand around his fingers. Y/N finally let out the breath she was holding as Harry zeroed his focus on her.

“And just what are you doing here?” he hissed. “Hermione was right, huh? You were with him the entire time. I can’t believe I expected anything different from you.”

Despite the fighting nature of the words coming from one of her best friends, she couldn’t help but glance at Draco as confusion briefly rippled through his features.

He didn’t know. He didn’t know that she was being shunned by her friends for not telling them anything.

“I was just checking on him!” she wailed.

Visibly unsatisfied with the answer, Harry just scoffed and aimed his wand at Draco. “You’re going to confess what you did or I’m going to make you regret it.”

Harry wasted no time with firing off the first spell--a weakly cast Stupefy that hardly missed her head as Draco’s Protego ricocheted it in her direction. She yelped as she dodged it, smacking into the side of the stall door and falling on the ground unceremoniously hard. Frantically, she dug through the pockets of her cloak to locate her wand, but she was too late. A flash of light was headed her way.

Instead of it smacking into her chest with the force of a curse, the green light spread around her, creating a shield-like sphere. She met Draco’s eye’s briefly in shock.

He’d cast a protection spell on her. In the middle of a duel that she was hardly formally a part of, he cast a protection spell on her.

“Diffindo!” The puddles from the eternal broken faucet glowed red as Harry parried Draco’s attack. It again went flying in her direction, breaking through the shell of the Fion Duris charm. In a stroke of luck, she rolled out of the way. A light blue flash followed from Draco--a nonverbal.

Finally. Y/N managed to close her hands around her wand, mind racing with thoughts of who she’d disarm first. Her wand had just begun to point towards Harry as the aftershocks of a Levicorpus charm slammed her to the ground once again, her wand bouncing on the cobbled stone once before rolling under the stall door. Y/N swore. “Harry, stop it!”

Harry was clearly losing composure. Despite his magical talent, the speed at which he was rattling off curses compromised his control...and his aim. Draco sent a few Fion Duris and Protego Maxima charms her way, but it still didn’t help when Harry had completely lost it.

Things turned for the worst when his Tergeo actually sliced Y/N--just barely, but enough to draw a significant amount of blood in her wand arm. Even if she wanted to try and find her wand behind the toilets, she wasn’t even sure if she had the strength to fire off anything.

Her cry of pain prompted Draco to immediately turn his attention from Harry, angling his body towards her instead, an indistinguishable expression etched into his face as he took in the bloodstained white sleeve of her arm.

Under normal circumstances, Y/N would’ve swooned at the fact that he willingly forfeited the duel just to check on her. But these weren’t normal circumstances, and Harry’s rage-filled expression and clenched jaw reminded her of this as he reeled his arm back and shouted out, “SECTUMSEMPRA!”

She didn’t think about it. To her credit, there really was no time to think. The cracking crimson light flashing towards Draco’s distracted figure was enough for her to launch herself at him with the intent of knocking them both to the ground--but she was too late, far too late. Glowing red light encased her entire body for a few tense milliseconds before she crumpled to the ground.

The Sectumsempra curse felt like every single nerve ending in her chest was being massaged with a sharp knife. Hot, sticky blood filled her mouth as she blinked, glassy-eyed and dazed, up at the ceiling. Distantly she could hear familiar voices over her body. There was a wet warmth that bloomed on her chest. She managed to glance down at her midsection to see an array of deep, short slashes scattered across her torso.

“Am I okay?” Her voice sounded tinny and funny to her. A pair of light gray eyes came into her vision as she managed another breath. “Draco? Is that you?”

If he leaned closer, she couldn’t tell. His face was beginning to swim in her vision, blending in with the glass ceiling. Finally, a familiar voice, albeit strained and cracking: “You’re okay.”

She felt something shaky brush past her cheek and the coolness of metal rings dance over her skin.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. You’re going to be okay.” He sounded so far away for someone who was leaning right over her. She could see out of the corner of her eye a figure, cloaked in dark robes, raise its wand and recite an unfamiliar incantation. The metallic taste in her mouth began to subside as she felt the warm stickiness of her own blood seep back into her skin.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, not entirely sure what she was apologizing for but doing it anyway. She thought she could feel the warmth of someone’s fingers softly cupping her face, but it could’ve been the heat of the tears pooling at the corners of her eyes. In that moment, she was overwhelmed with the desire to just be held, to not be lonely. “Please don’t go,” she begged.

The last thing she heard was a tense, “...Okay.” Then everything went black.

Y/N spent the majority of her break obsessing over the last memory she had of Draco--the startled way in which he gazed down at her as she bled out in Myrtle’s bathroom and felt his soft hands brush the hair away from her face. It was almost as if there had never been a problem between the two of them, like he’d forgiven her at that moment, but she knew that wasn’t true. Their last Potions class together had made that very clear. While he, thank Merlin, wasn’t letting Pansy hang off him like he did in 4th year, he still pointedly ignored her even though she had to nearly hobble into class. So why had he looked so worried if he didn’t care? And why, whilst surfing the high of a cocktail of pain potions, did she feel like she remembered someone with light blond hair at her side in the hospital wing?

“And you’re sure your bandages are comfortable?” Her mother interrupted her train of thought,, the plate of ethically-sourced willowbird lying completely untouched in front of her.

“Yes, Mum,” groaned Y/N for what had to be the hundredth time of her Christmas break. “I told you. Professor Snape and Madame Pomfrey made me their top priority over the last week of school. They say that I won’t even need them come January.”

Mrs. Y/L/N hummed as she delicately picked through her salad.

“I can’t believe that Potter boy’s nerve,” said Mr. Y/L/N from the foot of the table. “Hexing his own friend like that?”

“Dad, he didn’t even know what it did!”

“Exactly! What kind of person does that?”

“He’s just stressed,” Y/N mused, though she was personally a tad miffed at the fact that she’d been brutalized by someone she once considered her best friend. “And he was a little angry at me. He thinks I’m in cahoots with Death Eaters.”

“Ridiculous.” Mrs. Y/L/N vigorously shook her head. “Anyways, dear, no relation to the previous topic: I ran into Minerva at Wurgie’s the other day while I was shopping for gifts. She told me something very peculiar. Is it true you’ve become friends with the Malfoy boy?”

Y/N paled. Dealing with the backlash of Hermione, Harry, and Ron had been bad enough, but her own parents? Over the winter holidays? “Draco?”

“Yes, unless the Malfoys have another son I’m not aware of.”

“Well…” Y/N searched her mother’s face for any sign of animosity but found nothing but genuine curiosity. “Yes. We both had det--I mean, we were partnered for a class project together in Potions. He seems to have grown up a little.”

Oblivious to the slip up, her mother nodded. “Interesting. I was actually quite close with Narcissa myself back in the day. The Malfoys certainly don’t have a great track record of picking the right side, but we were two quaffles in a case throughout our schooling.”

“You knew Mrs. Malfoy?” asked Y/N, her eyes wide. “I had no idea!”

“Of course, we disagreed on the pureblood values and traditions that should be followed with children,” continued Mrs. Y/L/N, “But despite that, she was always kind. I hope she’s faring well.”

Y/N gulped as an idea slowly began to form in her mind. “Er, Mum, actually...Draco told me some things about...well, his mother.”

Both of her parents perked up.

“So you know how you guys always talk about how the Order owes you a favor for the time you went undercover in the first Wizarding War?” asked Y/N. They both nodded. “Do you think...we could cash that in right about now?”

A month later, Y/N stood in front of the painting that hung on Snape’s door, frowning at the raven that stared right back at her, daring her to try and open the door. In all the excitement of Christmas and explaining to her relatives that she’d nearly been murdered by her ex-best friend in a haunted bathroom, she had completely forgotten to ask her father how to distract a charmed guardian painting, and it’d hardly be beneficial to owl him during a busy work month. It was still completely up to her.

The dungeons sent a certain chill through her bones as she ran through possible plans, prompting her to tuck her hands into her pockets and shiver so hard that she didn’t even hear the footsteps approaching.

“What are you doing down here?” came the snotty, posh voice that she knew belonged to Pansy Parkinson.

“Parkinson,” Y/N greeted, snapping her head up to see that she didn’t come alone. Draco strode next to her, though he wouldn’t look at her directly. “Come for a rematch?”

Parkinson pulled out her wand and scoffed. “Wasn’t planning on it, but if you’re offering…”

“Pansy!” Draco hissed, yanking her away and forward. “We have places to be. Don’t waste your time.”

“But--”

“She almost got killed by Potter, like, yesterday,” he continued in a hushed voice. “Do you really want to make that worse?”

Parkinson sent her one last sour look before she was dragged off by Draco (who still refused to make eye contact with her). Y/N slumped against the wall, wincing as one of her injured spots bumped against a protruding stone. Why was he ignoring her? He’d protected her during the duel. He was even the one who stood over her as she lay crumpled on the floor.

A lump began growing in her throat again as she realized just how lonely she was. With her friends gone, all she had now was...her owl, Edison? Yes, that was it. Edison and Hannah Abbott, who clearly was just letting her sit next to her for meals out of pity. Y/N wished that she had the strength to sit alone and just say fuck it so she wouldn’t have to be the kickstart to a bleeding-heart Hufflepuff’s philanthropy career, but she was already beat down enough as she was. Sitting alone would just seal the deal in her new life as a social reject who dreaded classes where the professors let you choose partners. It was like she was a shy first year again, too nervous to talk to anyone and instead sitting alone at the breakfast table, praying that she’d make friends with someone, anyone, even though she was too afraid to figure out how.

And then came Ron, the sweet ginger boy who she’d met once when she went to a wizarding play with her dad. He’d plopped into the space next to her one day, eyeing the untouched plate of toast in front of her.

“You gonna eat that?” he’d asked. Y/N had just stared, mouth agape that someone was actually talking to her. “Hey, you’re the Y/L/N girl, right? My dad works with yours.”

Without waiting for her reply, he’d just popped the piece of toast in his mouth and continued talking at her as if they were old friends. Before she knew it, she was getting swept up into the social swirl of Harry Potter and his friends, helping them as they made their way through Hogwarts and took on the challenges brought upon them by Voldemort and his cronies. For once in her life, Y/N felt like she actually belonged.

And she’d thrown all of that away.

“Y/N?”

An unfamiliar, dreamy voice sounded from a little further down the dark hall, snapping Y/N out of it. She hadn’t even noticed, but she’d slid down to the ground and tucked herself into a ball. When she touched her face, she felt wetness on her cheeks. The raven in the painting made some kind of weird cackling sound.

“Who’s there?”

A girl in Ravenclaw robes, strange eyeglasses, and shockingly white-blond hair that rivaled Draco’s stepped into sight. Luna Lovegood. She’d seen her a few times--mostly during the Dumbledore’s Army meetings they’d both attended last year--but had never had a private, one-on-one conversation with her beyond the time that Y/N threw a protection charm to protect her from Bellatrix’s Avada Kedavra at the Ministry and she’d thanked her.

“I thought I heard you talking to someone,” said Luna as she settled in next to her, crossing her legs. “Isn’t Snape’s raven lovely?”

“I suppose so,” mused Y/N.

“His name is Marvin,” continued Luna, “and he always listens.”

“Huh?” Y/N balked, giving Luna a funny look. No wonder they call her Loony Lovegood she thought. “It--he can...talk?”

“Oh, yes,” said Luna, apparently not noticing her confusion. “Marvin is quite the conversationalist, to be honest. Snape is a very fortunate wizard to have him in his possession.”

As if to accent her point, Marvin crowed a few times.

“I was actually coming here to have a chat with him about you,” said Luna. “I think it’s terribly unfair how your friends are treating you. I thought that Marvin might know what to do. He always seems to.”

“Luna,” Y/N murmured, not expecting the way that her eyes began to swim with tears. “You...you really think so? I’ve been feeling so awful about what I’ve done…”

If she seemed taken aback by Y/N’s emotional outburst, she didn’t show it in the slightest. “Y/N, you just care about other people. And you know what it’s like to be lonely, so I understand why you didn’t want to leave someone alone when they felt that way, even if it was Malfoy.”

Y/N bit her lip to keep the tears from spilling over.

“My mother had this saying about kindness,” said Luna softly. “She told me that it’s easy to be kind to people you already love. But you can really tell how caring someone is by how they treat those who are different.”

Marvin made a sound that was eerily similar to a jackhammer in the background.

“Thank you,” managed Y/N, letting the girl pull her into a hug. “I...I can’t say that enough. I really needed to hear that.”

“I know,” Luna replied wistfully. “I’m sure your friends will come around, too.”

“I sure hope so.” She swallowed, giving her a small smile as Luna squeezed her hand.

“Marvin is such a funny bird.” Luna shifted onto her feet, creeping towards the painting. “He loves shiny things. Now that I know the spell that weakens the barrier between the natural and painted world, I like to give him things sometimes. If he likes it enough, he’ll fly off to his flock to gloat to his murder for the rest of the day. He’s so proud.”

Something clicked in Y/N’s head. Was this her answer as to how to distract Marvin?

“It’s Transcendere, if you were wondering,” continued Luna, making to walk away. “Just in case you wanted to know. I can’t imagine why you’d need to, though. Anyways, I’m off to meet with Snape over a few questions on the exam. I don’t imagine he’ll be around here for the next hour!”

Before she could even thank her, Luna was already gone and down the hall. Y/N felt her pockets frantically, trying to find one thing that might appeal to the raven. He looked at her expectantly.

Her only piece of jewelry was her family ring, and apart from her obvious personal ties to the object, something told her that giving Snape’s guard bird a concrete identifier as to who broke into his stores would not be wise. So that left….She reached into her pocket, taking out the glittery quill that Draco had gifted her last fall. Giving it one last look and closing her fist around the feather one last time, she thought about how much she wished to go back to the simpler time.

Marvin made a little chirp, snapping her out of her reverie.

“Transcendere.”

The quill poked through the canvas and into the scene, slowly changing so it fit the art style that the painter used to bring the raven to life. He wasted no time snatching it out of her grip, giving an appreciative gargle before he took off, flying away into the grey sky.

She was in. A quick Alohomora charm opened the door, and Y/N made quick work of deactivating the jinxes that guarded the entrance and was happy to see that he hadn’t changed anything else with his security measures. Finding the potion was easy, and before she knew it, she had reset all the security charms, shut the door, and made her way all the way up to the Gryffindor tower with the vial tucked firmly in her pocket.

Getting Draco alone was the hardest part of her plan. Every time she saw him, he was either surrounded by a gaggle of Slytherins or darting off down side corridors that she could never quite locate. Carrying around the vial of stolen potion was getting increasingly stressful, too, especially now that their DADA class with Snape was coming up. He had to have noticed that his stores were broken into at that point, but given that he hadn’t stopped a meal yet to berate the student body on the importance of integrity and “keeping one’s grabby hands to themselves”, Y/N assumed she was somewhat in the clear. On the bright side, Y/N was enjoying mealtime much more now that she was eating with Luna. Her new friend even convinced her to go to the library with her one night to study--something that Y/N was not too familiar with.

They’d left right before the library closed, going their separate ways. Something crossed Y/N’s mind as she realized what day it was--Saturday. Draco always worked on the cabinet on Saturdays, and of course he wasn’t going to bring his friends along with him.

Quietly, she sank down next to the stone wall at the entrance, waiting for Draco to exit. She waited, and waited, and waited. Y/N was just beginning to wonder if Draco had switched his schedule around when the telltale sound of stone bricks scraping against each other snapped her to attention.

Draco looked more frazzled than usual as he stepped out of the newly-constructed entrance, his hands shakily running through his hair and his tie out of place. Y/N felt a sudden pang of guilt at the thought that she was going to add even more stress to his night.

“Draco,” she said, standing up and teetering at the sudden motion.

He started at the sight of her before setting his jaw and turning to continue a walk down in the opposite direction.

“Please,” breathed Y/N, jumping forward to latch onto his wrist. “I need to talk to you.”

He immediately snatched his hand away, his scowl deeping in his features. “I don’t have time for this,” he said, though sheer exhaustion seemed to replace the usual venom in his voice. “If you’re here to apologize, I don’t want to hear it.”

“But--”

“I don’t have time,” he repeated once again, desperation seeping into the edges of his tone. “I don’t have the time to figure out whether or not I can trust you again.”

“Then let me make it easier.” Y/N reached into her pocket, producing the potion vial that had miraculously not been shattered after she’d carried it for so long. Draco arched an eyebrow. “Run a diagnostic spell on it. I want you to know that I’m being completely honest.”

“Y/L/N, I told you, I don’t want--”

“Please, Draco,” she pleaded, holding it out to him. “Just do it for me. If you do it, we’ll be even for what happened in Myrtle’s bathroom. I’ll leave you alone if you tell me to.”

He sucked in a breath, begrudgingly casting the spell. The vial glowed and cast a bright emerald light on his surprised features. “How did you get that?”

“It doesn’t matter,” rushed Y/N. “Just ask me anything. I’ll take it if you want.”

He looked like he was about to leave her in the corridor alone, so she did the only thing she could think of--uncorking the vial and downing it all in one go. It went down like water, hardly feeling like anything. She was surprised. Wasn’t it supposed to feel more compelling?

“Y/N, you are such an idiot sometimes,” he growled, but he turned back to her anyway. “Okay. Fine. Did Granger put you up to talking to me?”

“No. Harry did,” answered Y/N, the words coming spilling out of her mouth without her even thinking. Draco’s briefly softened expression immediately hardened.

“I suppose that answers it then,” he snapped. “I’m not sure what that was supposed to accomplish.”

“Ask me something else!” cried Y/N. “Something you don’t already know the answer to.”

His silence was evidence enough that she was maybe, potentially, possibly getting to him. Something twanged in the pits of her stomach, reminding her of the time that she’d eaten bad fish in Greece and was sick for days, but she cast the thought aside for just a moment as he finally responded.

“This is ridiculous,” he clipped. She waited, turning the empty vial over in her hands. Finally, after a few agonizing moments of silence, his voice sounded again. “Why are your friends mad at you?”

Just as she was about to tell him, the tell-tale sound of footsteps and a cat’s meow echoed down the corridor. Filch. Panic-stricked, Y/N launched herself in the direction of the Room before a hand closed over her forearm and pulled her back.

“That’ll take too long,” Draco whispered, so close to her that she could feel his breath on her neck and had to try not to shudder. Without waiting for her response, he yanked her into the broom closet across the corridor and softly shut the door.

It became fairly apparent that the broom closet was perhaps not the best hiding space for two adults, a fact that Y/N quickly noticed as she realized that the only place she could comfortably place her hands was lightly on top of Draco’s chest. His own hands pressed into the wall on either side of her head as he used it to push himself as far away from her as possible. When her eyes flickered up, she could see in the dim light that he’d shut his eyes. She couldn’t blame him--when she ran the plan through in her head, it rarely ever included getting stuck in a tiny broom closet together, and it never crossed her mind that it could happen before he’d even forgiven her.

“I heard something too, my pretty.” Filch’s voice floated down the corridor as he neared them. She sucked in her breath, intent to hold it. She wished that she could cast a Silencio on the broom closet, but there was no way to be able to do that in such close range. Plus, she was quite preoccupied with the churning in her stomach that was getting significantly worse.

Filch’s steps were getting louder as he called out, “Anyone there?”

“Yes,” Y/N let as a tortured, strangled whine. Realization flickered across Draco’s face as his hand shot out to clamp over her lips. She tried not to focus on how warm and nice his skin felt touching her and instead on the fact that Filch was still walking.

The footsteps finally paused outside of the broom closet. Y/N could feel Draco’s heart racing under her palm. She vaguely registered that her hands had long since curled into fists, clinging onto his shirt.

“Anyone in here?”

“Mmph,” responded Y/N, hardly able to enunciate anything over the death grip Draco had on her face. This only made the lurching in her middle worse, so bad that she felt like she had bile rising in her throat.

“My lovely? What’s that?” A cat’s meow rang out from across the corridor. “Over by the Charms classroom?” Another meow. The sound of quick shuffling would’ve come to Y/N as a relief if she didn’t feel like she was about to puke the entire contents of her stomach up on Draco Malfoy’s hand.

“Thank Merlin.” Draco exhaled. Y/N could feel his shoulders relax under the grip she had on his shirt and took note of the fact that he smelled very strongly of that stupid rich scent in her Amortentia, something that was somewhat difficult when the cramping in her stomach had gotten so bad that she could hardly stand up straight.

Then he let his hand drop.

“They’re mad at me because I didn’t tell them about you.” The words came spilling out so fast and without prompt that Y/N felt like she was out of body, watching someone else speak for her. “I couldn’t ever bring myself to hurt you like that because even though you’ve been mean to me and my friends and I technically have no reason to want to protect you, I still do and it’s just so complicated because I thought I was just being a good person or whatever but honestly now that I think about it f it came down to it I would choose you over anyone else here and that’s scary and ohmygodIcan’tstop--” Y/N managed to suck in a small breath as the magic in her system propelled her forward, barely catching the widened eyes of Draco, “--It’s been so hard being away from you and I understand why you’re angry at me and I’m such a hypocrite for being upset that you were a Death Eater when I didn’t tell you why I started talking to you in the first place but I couldn’t just confess to you when I finally had a reason to spend time with you and I didn’t want to fuck it all up but I did and Draco please help I can’t stop I want to so badly you were never supposed to know all of this I thought that it would just make me tell the truth not everything--”

“I know,” His hand came up one more time, covering her mouth and muffling her voice. Without being able to move her lips, the words died down once again while the waves of nausea and agony hit in their place. Draco’s face had once again adopted that unreadable, somewhat sad expression as he moved his free hand so he could thumb away the tears that were collecting on her cheeks. Her fingers twisted into the soft fabric of his button down as she choked back a sob against his hand. “I know. That was really fucking stupid, even for you. You do know you’re not supposed to take more than an ounce of Veritaserum, right? This is going to take forever to get through your system. You just have to let it run its course. I’m sorry.” The potion was closing in around her throat as she blinked up at him through tear-ridden lashes. “I hear Filch escorting a student to McGonagall. This is our chance to get out.”

Y/N nodded as best as she could without loosening his hold on her, and they were creeping out of the broom closet and slowly making their way down the hall as silently as possible. He was to her right, his left arm slung around her shoulder so he could keep her quiet without sacrificing too much of his balance. He pulled her away from the direction of the Gryffindor dorms.

“Not happening,” he whispered, his lips almost brushing past her ear. He was so close. She shivered. “Filch went that way. Plus, I need to keep an eye on you until you’re back to normal.”

She nodded again. By some miracle, they made it to the Slytherin dorms without much of a hiccup beyond the awkward shuffle down the stairs. “Purity,” muttered Draco, prompting the cobblestones to rearrange themselves into a door. “Oh, don’t roll your eyes at me.”

Y/N scoffed behind his hand. The Slytherin common room was, thankfully, entirely empty, but very eerie and cold. She tried to open her mouth to tell him that he’d obviously drawn the short straw when it came to lodging, but when she felt his palm tighten over her lips, she was reminded that that wasn’t an option.

“Here we are,” murmured Draco, his voice still low and careful as he led her to the end of the hall of the boys’ dormitories. Something other than the effects of the Veritaserum she consumed set off the butterflies inside of her once again when she thought about the fact that she was really going to see Draco’s dorm room. His door, black and heavy, was completely unblemished apart from the silver numbers of his room.

Before she could think any further, he turned the knob and spun her so he was looking right down at her. “The less you talk, the longer it’s going to take for you to be normal again. Try not to be too loud, though. I wanted to sleep tonight.” With that, he released her once again.

“You have really nice hands,” she blurted out, immediately clapping her own palm over her mouth again.

“Oh.” An uncharacteristic blush rose in his cheeks.

Squeezing her eyes shut and steeling herself for whatever was about to come out of her mouth next, she let her hand fall. “I--I actually think I can control some of what I say now.” She took one more breath in to check. “Yeah. Thank god. It’s not just...coming out of me anymore.”

“I’m not too surprised,” he said. “You were on quite a roll back there in the broom closet.”

“So, um…” She shuffled her feet. “Are we good now, do you think?”

Draco sighed. “I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone willingly down two state terrorist interrogation sessions worth of Veritaserum just to apologize to me. So, yeah, I guess. I think you should probably try and get some sleep. Chances are it’ll wear off some by tomorrow morning.” With that, he rested his hands on her shoulders and steered her towards his bed.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” she asked, sinking down onto his black silk bedding and meeting his eyes.

He shrugged. “How are you feeling? Do you need anything before you sleep?”

“I’d really like it if you held me until I fell asleep,” Y/N said so quickly that she didn’t even have a chance to look away from him. He blanched, his eyebrows raising but his lip quirking up.

“Wow. I wasn’t expecting that. I thought you were going to ask for water or something.”

“Draco, please don’t be mean,” she mumbled. “I didn’t mean to say it. It just came out. I would like some water, though.”

“Your wish is my command,” he drawled, disappearing into his bathroom before coming out with an empty glass that he cast a quick Aquamenti into. “Go slow. I really don’t want you coughing up water on my sheets.”

“Me neither,” she said between sips. “Merlin knows I’ve embarrassed myself enough already.”

When she finished, she handed it out to him. “Thank you. I really appreciate you doing this. I mean it.”

He snorted on his way to put the glass away. “Of course you do. That’s the beauty of Veritaserum.”

“You’re actually funny sometimes, you know,” she said.

Draco smirked at her again. “Veritaserum. You’re doing wonders for my ego tonight.”

While he was doing whatever he was before getting into bed, Y/N went ahead and slipped under the sheets, rolling over onto her back so she was closest to the wall. She felt the bed slightly dip to her left and a throat clear.

“What is it now?” muttered Y/N.

“You know, it’s really hard for me to do what you asked when you’re on your back like that,” he said.

“What?”

“Like, do you want me to be on top of you or something?”

“What are you even talking about?”

Draco huffed and reached his hands out to grab her shoulders once again, turning her to face him. Before she could register what was happening, she felt his own hands come around under her arms to rest on her back. Her head lay on the swath of skin between his shoulder and his collarbone, and she could feel the quickening of his pulse. “There. Honestly.”

“This is really nice,” Y/N blurted out, physically cringing when she realized that in her position she couldn’t easily cover her mouth.

“Yeah?” She could feel the laugh rattle through his diaphragm.

“Yes.” Y/N huffed. “Stop asking me questions. This isn’t very kind of you.”

He let out another light laugh, his fingers moving to thread through her hair. “Is this okay?”

“Are you kidding? I’ve wanted--” Y/N buried her face into his shoulder, silencing the words that were about to come out of her mouth. “Oh, my god,” she said after she resurfaced. “I think I want to take a vow of silence after this is over.”

Y/N could hear his smile as he offered her a, “What a load of good that thought is doing you now.”

“Please, just knock me unconscious until it all goes away,” she groaned.

“Stop demeaning my work,” he said, mock offense creeping into his tone as he continued to card his fingers through her hair in soothing motions. “What do you think I’m trying to do? If you want me to give you blunt force head trauma, then just say so. Sheesh.”

She sighed dramatically. “At this point, maybe.”

“Seriously, though, are you feeling okay? That was a lot of Veritaserum,” he murmured.

“I’m just feeling mortified right now,” she answered.

“You still need to tell me where you got it.”

“Oh. I stole it. From Snape.”

All at once, Draco dropped his hands and pulled slightly away so he could gape down at her. “You did what now?”

“Yeah,” she said, confusion creeping into her tone. “It really wasn’t that hard, you know. I’ve done it before.”

“When?”

She felt another lurching sensation. All of the questioning was starting to make her stomach turn again. “I was a second-year. Harry had to brew Polyjuice Potion and he needed an ingredient we couldn’t find anywhere else.”

Draco let out a low whistle. “At twelve?”

“Eleven. My birthday hadn’t come around yet.”

“That’s…” He’d shifted so she wasn’t pressed up to him, catching his lip between his teeth as he thought. Y/N hadn’t made much notice of this development as the growing pain in her midsection grew. “That’s quite a lot for a kid.” The way his hair glowed in the soft moonlight made her heart twinge. It looked so soft. Y/N noticed that she’d been staring at him for far too long without saying something when he blinked, planning on opening her mouth to apologize or crack a joke when instead:

“I have the biggest crush on you.” The words left her lips without any prior consent, the consonants and vowels forming before she could even think.

He was completely frozen in place, his expression entirely unreadable.

“Oh, god, and now I’ve ruined it all because I know you said that I didn’t have a chance that one time in detention and you don’t see me like that and I’m pretty sure you’re with Pansy and even if you weren’t I’m not enough for you and I wish I hadn’t taken this stupid potion but I know that I’d do it a hundred times over if it meant that you would trust me--”

Her words stopped abruptly as Draco silenced her--not with his hand, but by placing his lips on hers. The kiss was brief and shy, more of a question in nature than a statement. Her fingers curled around the collar of his shirt as he pulled away, a rather frazzled and deer-in-the-headlights look etched into his features.

She was speechless. Absolutely, completely, irrevocably speechless. Despite the insistent gnawing of the Veritaserum at the lining of her stomach, she could only manage to blink owlishly up at him, mouth agape.

“Are you okay?” His voice was low.

“Ehm…” Her lips refused to move. Draco frowned, dropping his hands from her sides and sitting up straighter. Something impartial washed over his features, turning his expression from hurt to uninterested, like he’d woken up from a pleasant nap and was snapped back to reality. His legs pulled away so no part of her body was touching him.

“I--er, didn’t mean it like that,” he said. “I just wanted to make you quiet again, y’know, before you said anything else you regretted. And I thought that...kissing you would shock your system enough to make you stop talking.”

Her cheeks turned a violent red as she realized the depth of his statement. “So you...don’t see me like that?”

“No.” He ran his fingers through his hair once, took in a deep breath, and dropped his gaze to the comforter. “You should go to sleep. Hopefully you’ll feel better in the morning.”

At the very least the potion was beginning to settle in her stomach as Draco’s breathing turned slow over the next hour or so. She didn’t know all too much about the mechanics of Veritaserum, but at this point, she had almost nothing left to confess anyways.

Y/N tore her eyes away from his sleeping form, turning around to face the wall. His bed was soft. And it smelled like him, like the perfect blend of black tea and sage and snobbery that was in her Amortentia. She squeezed her eyes shut and wished to be anywhere but there. When he kissed her, it felt like he wanted her. Yes, of course he was timid, but she’d thought he was just nervous. But what was there for him to be nervous about? She’d already confessed under literal truth serum. He knew how she felt, and he didn’t even say sorry for kissing her and telling her he didn’t mean it like that. He still didn’t want her. Of course he didn’t when Pansy Parkinson in all her obnoxious Slytherin perfection was right fucking there.

She was just beginning to feel sleep tug on the strings of her consciousness as she felt her hair get tucked behind her ear by a warm hand coming around from behind.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I shouldn’t have done that. It’s better this way, you’ll see. It wouldn’t be fair if I...if it was different.” Despite his words, he let his fingers brush over his jaw as he moved closer, his shoulder lightly pressing into her back.

At that moment, there were so many things that Y/N wanted to say, ranging from “I am never going to live this moment down because I’m positively lovesick over you” to “I am going to beat you up for kissing me and then telling me it didn’t mean anything after I confessed.” Two schools of thought, neither of them perfectly encapsulating the true essence of her feelings. Her most traitorous thoughts told her to stay still and enjoy the final moments of affection she’d get from Draco, but she’d given into impulse a little too much that night.

He must’ve noticed that her breathing had changed because he suddenly shifted his weight onto his free arm, keeping his hand poised by her neck.

“Please stop touching me.” The words that came out of her mouth sounded much more pathetic than they did in her head, a voice crack finding its way into the final syllables. He jolted away.

“I thought you were asleep.”

“Well, I’m not.”

“I thought…” He swallowed. “I thought you liked it when I touched you.”

“Yeah, before you told me you didn’t feel the same way,” she mumbled. “I really would appreciate it if you didn’t make me rehash that again. Today has been humiliating enough. I’m not looking to set a record or something here.”

She’d thought that her quip was pretty good, but Draco remained completely humorless. “I’m sorry. That was wrong of me. It was stupid of me to act on impulse like that. I never meant to hurt you.”

“Never meant to--” She stopped in her tracks, instead letting out a sharp huff. “Nevermind. I don’t want a fight right now. I just want to sleep.”

Much to Y/N’s horror, her throat began to tighten up again with the tell-tale coming of tears. The next breath she exhaled was embarrassingly shaky and loud, and the movement that it sparked in Draco was even more mortifying. He made a small sound of sympathy. “C’mere, Y/N. I’m so sorry. I know that must’ve hurt you.”

Undecided between feeling pissed and just wanting to forgive him, she slowly sat up and faced him. His arms were out in a motion of invitation, an unreadable expression in his eyes.

“You’re the prettiest person I’ve ever seen.” The Veritaserum in her system didn’t care much about her emotional turmoil, much to her horror. Y/N began to turn away, a watery scowl fixed firmly on her face, but Draco’s hand on her shoulder stopped her.

“If I...wanted to be with you,” he began, his tone careful and clipped, “It would never work. Okay? Trust me when I say it has nothing to do with you. You did nothing wrong.”

“I kind of did.”

“Yeah, well, we both did. But I don’t want you to think that I, er, never thought about it.”

“Oh.” She wasn’t quite sure what the underlying meaning of that was.

“So... “ He motioned again with open arms. “Do you...want to? I’ll play with your hair again until you fall asleep.”

Y/N stared at him, completely astonished. “Why? If you don’t see me like that, then why?”

“I’m not going to sleep tonight anyways,” he said softly. “And I want to help you feel better.”

She opened her mouth with the hopes of a biting retort coming out, but instead she was met with silence. Against her better judgement, she set her clenched her jaw and gave in.

His arms were wrapped around her in an instant as she tentatively settled back into his chest, her hands lightly rested on his shoulders. Despite the humiliating previous events, it didn’t feel awkward, especially when Draco’s long fingers slowly threaded through her locks and brushed past her neck. A small, forbidden sigh of contentment left her lips when he let his touch linger over the back of her neck. His deep, slow breathing and the steady beat of his heart began to lull her to sleep.

The next morning, she was able to lie convincingly enough to Draco, telling him her name wasn’t Y/N Y/L/N and that she was 80 years old. Confident that she wasn’t about to spill all of his secrets to the student body, he told her she was free to go.

“Draco?” she asked poised by his door.

“Yeah?”

“Do you think I’ll see you much after this? You know, now that we aren’t Potions partners and don’t have detention together anymore?”

He sighed. “I don’t know. Maybe when this is all over, I’ll see you around at pureblood functions or whatever.”

“Yeah.” Y/N tried not to think about the implications of pureblood functions still existing in the future after this. What kind of world did Draco think this would turn into? “But this is probably it, right? The last time I’ll see you like this?”

She didn’t even need to see his nod. She knew. That’s why he offered to play with her hair despite not even liking her--it was his way of apologizing for roping her into this, for tricking her, for shutting her out, for the Sectumsempra curse...for everything. His way of apologizing before they parted ways.

final a/n: ty for reading! first off, congrats to the anons that guessed veritaserum. that shit took me forever to write bc i had such high expectations but it turned out to be quite the challenging scene since i still had to juggle draco’s conflicting emotions/distrust and the fact that i really wanted him to make her feel better fjdkas; i thought i’d mention someone who helped me write this (even tho i don’t think they realized how much they helped lmao)L i’d like to thank my 🌟 anon for giving me some inspiration. i was struggling with the first half of this story in terms of pacing for quite some time but found some help in an ask they sent me mentioning how they related to y/n feeling lonely/would like to see luna and neville mentioned. unfortunately, i haven’t quite been able to fit neville in yet (and i’m not sure if i can without it seeming just like a random extra bit of story that isn’t helpful to the plot), but hearing some affirmation that y/n’s loneliness was something that actually resonated w them really helped. it made me realize that the isolation from her friends/draco didn’t have to just be a logical turn of events for the plot to proceed in a sensical way and instead could be used to explore y/n’s character. i hope you all enjoyed! i promise the stuff w her dad and the order will be cleared up next chapter

#draco x reader #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy #draco #draco imagine #draco malfoy imagine #draco x oc #draco x y/n #draco x you #draco malfoy x oc #draco malfoy x y/n #draco malfoy x you

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nomazee · 4 years ago

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Homegrown

ushijima wakatoshi x reader

word count: 1700+

content: friends-to-lovers, fluff (particularly birthday fluff because it was his birthday a few days ago and i wanna celebrate that somehow!!!), gardener ushijima, pining

(this is basically a late b-day gift for best boy ushijima!! this is something i just wrote really quickly but regardless, i hope you all like it!!

happy reading <3)

☾.:°∗★.:☆:.★∗°:.☽

On your birthday, Ushijima gives you a basil plant.

You blink down at the plastic pot in your hands, fingers feeling the cool slickness of the roots hanging out from the bottom. Ushijima waits expectantly in the doorway of your home, eyes scrutinizing every flinch of your expression to try and judge your reaction.

“It’s basil.” He repeats the words he stated moments ago, being the only words he’s given you to work with in the six-- no, seven minutes he’s been outside your house.

“I can see that.” You respond, staring down at the small, shiny leaves peering up at you from where they were cozily nestled between soft, lightly damp soil. “It smells nice.”

“Yes,” he agrees, “I like the smell of basil.” No more words are exchanged between the two of you, and you’re instead left staring down at the plant with Ushijima’s watchful eyes continuing to analyze you.

“It’s your birthday gift,” he tells you, with a cock of his head and a slight furrow in his brow. “Did you forget about your birthday?”

“Uh, no. I… I didn’t!” Yes, you did. You absolutely did. The delivery of a gift in the middle of a Saturday made a bit more sense. The gift itself, however, did not. But you supposed Ushijima was a bit inexperienced in the art of giving friends gifts so you didn’t really mind it too much in the moment.

Ushijima lets out a huff--almost inaudible, but you caught it just in time to view the sight of him averting his eyes with a tint of red at his ears. “Yes, you did. I thought you would remember. Last week you mentioned that you wanted to spend time together.”

Oh. You did. You stand, mouth parted slightly in the sudden realization of your past promise. You’re dressed in baggy pajamas--plaid pants that reach past the soles of your feet and an XX-L t-shirt that you’re sure belongs to either your dad or Ushijima.

“I’ll get dressed,” you blush at your chaotic state of dress and back away from the door to let Ushijima inside, “and then we can head out.” You pause, and then, “I’m really sorry for forgetting, Ushi. I was just tired from this week and it slipped my mind. You can pick wherever we go, to make up for it.”

Despite your words, the furrow in Ushijima’s brows doesn’t dissipate. “Why are you apologizing? You didn’t upset me. I was just worried that you were going to spend your birthday alone.”

Oh. You freeze, then smile. Always the considerate friend, even if he wasn’t fully aware of it. You approach where he sits on the couch, run a hand through his hair, and press a kiss to his forehead that sends a blush down his neck that you don’t quite catch. “You’re so cute, Ushi. I’ll be down in five minutes.”

---

Three days later, Ushijima gives you a basket of tomatoes.

You think it’s a bit funny. First basil, now tomatoes. His unorthodox gifts bring a smile to your face, and you find him mirroring a similar expression in the cold of the night outside your house.

“These look great,” you tell him, digging around in the crate and examining each plump tomato individually. The skin was shiny and taut, a healthy bright red reflecting the light in a glossy highlight. “You’re really great with plants, Ushi.”

He hums in acknowledgement of your compliment, eyes drifting to the concrete of your front door steps.

You snap out of your distant haze, looking back up to the boy in your doorway. You set the crate down on the coffee table of your living room, calling out to Ushijima as you move frantically around the room.

“You should get going, Ushijima. You’re drenched in sweat and it’s cold and I don’t want you to get sick. Here,” you extend a hand to him, one of his sweaters in its grasp--Ushi had given it to you the day of your birthday when you were both walking home in the cold.

He blinks down at the article of clothing and you wait curiously. “Keep it.” Your brows furrow, and he elaborates. “I’ll be fine. I don’t get sick easily. And I want you to keep that in case you ever get cold.”

Oh, Ushijima. You joke to yourself that you’ll fall for him at this rate, then silence your mind at the realization that that’s the reality you’re living in at this point.

You wrap a hand around the nape of his neck and pull him down, lips firmly pressing against the middle of his forehead. You notice the flush of pink on his skin this time, and find the color pretty on his flesh.

“Thank you, Ushi. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He gives you a smile, one of his subtle ones that are just a slight upturn of the corners of his lips.

---

Over the next few weeks, you accumulate a healthy gathering of fresh fruits and vegetables in your fridge. Your parents are overwhelmed at the fresh produce and start half-jokingly questioning if you have a sugar daddy who only pays in homegrown plants. You say no, obviously, but the fiddling of your fingers make them exchange a knowing look and teasing smile.

Ushijima brought you a lot of things--parsley, lemons, beets that you’re not sure what to do with. Your most recent favorite was a bunch of zucchini that you ended up spiralizing and serving with sauce (which is, of course, made from the tomatoes he consistently keeps giving you). You were proud enough of that dish to send a picture to him, to which he responded with a simple :). You found it funny how a simple emoticon was enough to make you swoon.

Sitting at the kitchen counter, you eyed the tupperware container that held Ushijima’s most recent gift--a generous amount of plump, ripe strawberries. They were certainly smaller than the ones you’d normally buy at the grocery store, but he brought such a large amount it made you worry and ask if he was giving you his entire garden’s worth of plants every time he gave you something.

(“I don’t want your mom getting mad if you’re wasting everything in your garden on me.” You chastised him as you looked into the basket of the day, which contained a few tomatoes, a healthy pile of mint, and a small watermelon that you were sure took months to grow and therefore should not be gifted to you so casually.

Ushijima’s lips were downturned when you looked up at him. He shuffled one of his feet along the ground as he avoided your chastising gaze.

“It’s not wasting,” he muttered. “I want to give these to you. If you don't want them anymore, then just tell me.”

You couldn’t help the melting of your expression into one of adoration and softness. You reached a hand up habitually, running your fingers through his hair and averting his gaze back to you.

“I do, Ushi. I just want to make sure I’m not stealing everything in your garden, you know?”

He smiles. You hear distant harps playing in the background. “I know. But I have plenty leftover. And even if I didn’t, I’m giving them to you. So I’m happy either way.”

There he goes again, crawling right into your heart so casually. Ah, you loved this boy.)

The strawberries. Right. Ushijima’s birthday was coming up. You had too many boxes of puff pastry in your freezer. Time to get to work.

---

At Ushijima’s request, you visit his house the day of his birthday. It’s a Sunday, and you make the walk to his house with a cute cardboard box in hand, pink ribbon securing it tightly and strawberry danishes packed inside.

He opens the door for you, leads you inside, and you both end up on his bed, the box of pastries open and in front of you as you take turns ripping apart each danish to share between the both of you.

Ushijima hums as he chews, teeth biting into and pulling apart the layers of puff pastry and tongue catching the jam that threatens to spill over the edge of the dough. You watch the movement of his lips and tongue intently, with a vehemence that you should not be watching the movement of his lips and tongue with. He catches your stare but for some reason you can’t be bothered to look away in embarrassment.

“It’s good,” he comments. “Very good.”

You hum back, adjusting your position against the headboard of his bed. “I’d hope so. I didn’t work on these all morning for nothing.”

For some reason, that particularly catches Ushijima’s attention. He furrows his brow at you, an expression you see a lot lately. “You worked on these all morning?”

You’re confused by the question. “...yeah? I wanted to make sure they were good. So I took my time with it.”

He exhales deeply through his nose, finishing another bite and swallowing before he elaborates.

“You didn’t have to do so much, just for my birthday. Just coming over would be enough for me.”

Once again, your stomach is sent into a flurry of emotions but you ignore that momentarily to scoff at his first sentence.

“Ushi, you gave me a whole basil plant for my birthday-- and you keep giving me all your herbs and vegetables and stuff. I barely did anything for your birthday compared to your birthday, don’t give me that.”

A frown is evident in your features and you can’t help but replicate the expression. You don’t understand why he’s so insistent on this concept--you genuinely didn’t do much compared to all the random plants he’s gifted you over the last month.

“I don’t think you’re… understanding.” You almost huff at that, but are cut off by his next words. “You being here is enough for me. Enough of a gift.”

You pause. There’s something hidden in his words and you have a feeling you know what he means but you’re too nervous to do so yourself. Thankfully, he turns to you, eyes boring into yours despite the softness that comes with them.

There’s a smear of strawberry jam on his lip that you didn’t catch before. “Can I kiss you?” The words should’ve sent you in a flustered frenzy but you sit calmly and nod with a soft, “yes, please.”

He leans in. Your lips meet his. He tastes like the strawberries from his garden.

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ratsoh-writes · 4 years ago

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So I’m screwing around and I suddenly remember that the hunger games simulator exists! Well guess who put all the boys in it ;). My money is on either sugar or honey. It’s always the shy ones.

Day 1

Alright so far the cornucopia is full of cowards. Not a single death and everyone is just running for thier lives. Although sans, papyrus and star did team up which was pretty cool.

FKN PEACHES KILLED OAK IN HIS SLEEP?!!? peaches how could you 😭😭

Also I love how willow, edge, mutt and papyrus band together to steal all of ranchers stuff

Looks like oak is the only casualty. Poor baby. Looks like his narcolepsy did him in

Day 2

WILLOW CRIES HIMSELF TO SLEEP. Looks like someone found his brother

Also mutt decided to go for the baddest mafia man and kills butch but leaves heavily injured. I’m not suprised mutt went for him tbh

Friggin peaches is on a massacre. He teamed up with mal to kill off papyrus this time.

Also sans and Jupiter are holding hands and sugar convinced snipe to cuddle with him lol. Sugar must’ve had his charm turned up to 100

Hold up, cash made a bomb and killed willow sansn and coffee. Holy heck. Dammit cash.

And rancher is playing mind games here. He’s trying to force slim to kill either noir or gaster. Of course slim doesn’t want to kill anyone, SO RANCHER KILLS HIM IN COLD BLOOD what is with these farm boys?!??

So that’s 7 deaths: G, butch, papyrus, willow, sans, coffee and slim :(

Day 3

Oh shoot guys, somebody gave peaches a bomb. Better run

Also snipe killed mal with a hatchet. Tbh I’m not suprised.

And wine set LORD on fire?!?? WINE NO THATS YOUR BEST FRIEND why wine whyyyy

Basil repeatedly stabbed pop to death and probably puked right after

And cash you dumb*ss. He fell in a hole. The ultimate prankster dies from a hole. This is not the swapfell bros day

Now basil is questioning his sanity gee I wonder why

Honey accidentally set off a bomb. If anyone was wondering, he failed chemistry

And uh, so bruiser and wine are patching each other up. I guess in the hunger games your enemy is your friend lol

Total deaths 7: mal, lord, pop, edge, mutt, cash and honey

Day 4

Oh look at that, Star stabbed red this time like the little psycho he is

Green over here just humming out some tunes as the world burns around him

Basil and peaches are calling a truce. It’s because they can see the murder in each other’s eyes

And then basil dies from the cold like a pussy.

Oop, looks like peaches carnage is over. Wine pushed him off a cliff. Now wine is the baddest boy

Total deaths 3: red, basil, peaches

Day 5

Noooooo. So sugar was picking a fight with Jupiter, and friggin ace swoops in and is all “THATS MY ENEMY B*TCH” and beheads sugar.

Boss singing himself to sleep 🥺

Wine is climbing trees while he plans everyone’s murders

Wine is going even higher. He’s heading for the sky baby. He’s going to steamroll his way into heaven.

Oh shoot, three way fight between star snipe and rust. Rust won.

And rythm took out bad dad gaster in the most bad*ss way. Death by gladiator sword

Total deaths 4: sugar, star, snipe, gaster

Day 6

Noir over worked himself and passed out again. This is like the third time noir calm down

Fkn wine takes out rancher and Jupiter at the same time. He literally got both farmtale brothers. Gotta catch them all

Shoot, we just lost another mafia boy. Lilac strangled boss.

And now the feast: bruiser lilac and ace vs green Pluto and wine. Unfortunately wines geek squad was unable to stand up the the mafia brothers and a feral lilac so they had to go.

Also charm must’ve pissed rythm off because he couldn’t convince him to not kill him lol

Ace be picking flowers after his massacre

And rythm drowns. Oops

That’s 8 deaths this time: rancher, Jupiter, boss, green, Pluto, wine, charm and rhythm

Day 7

Yup, ace nailed noir right in the stomach. I knew noir wouldn’t make it. His chronic pain is too much of a hindrance

Just noir dying this time

Day 8

BRUISER KILLED ACE??!? And friggin rust climbed up a tree and watched like a little creep

And lilac decided to be a genius and jump in a frozen lake. Play stupid games win stupid prizes

2 deaths: ace and lilac

Day 9

alright this is it the final showdown. Who will win?? We’ve got:

Rust: with incredible physical strength, size and wilderness survival on his side

Bruiser: a trained mafia fighter, extensive experience and knowledge in weapons, and his only strategy is to fight dirty

............... and despite all that bruiser takes the same path as his moron best friend and falls into a hole

Rust wins by default lol

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wayward-dreamer · 4 years ago

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Life’s Lessons - Part 6

Title: Life’s Lessons - A Lesson in Starting Fresh

Pairing: Mechanic!Dean x Female!Teacher!Reader (eventual)

Other Pairings: Dean x Lisa, Female!Reader x OMC – Ethan (past, mentioned), Female!Reader x OMC – Mark

Word Count: 7,712 (messages, thoughts, lyrics in italics).

Part Summary: Y/N and Dean try to distract themselves from what happened the night before, despite the fact that they can’t stop thinking about each other. However, after an incident at school between Ben and another student, Y/N makes a difficult decision. Later, as she meets someone who could help her forget about Dean, he finds out what Lisa’s been hiding from him.

Warnings: Angst, Guilt, Alcohol consumption, Some fluff, Mentions of cheating.

Music: Good as Hell by Lizzo (playing in the background as Y/N gets dressed for girls’ night out), Starting Over by Chris Stapleton (Y/N and Mark scene).

Life’s Lessons Spotify Playlist

A/N: I loved reading all of your responses to Part 5, I’m so happy you guys loved it and were surprised and shocked! That’s what I live for hahaha! I hope you guys continue to enjoy this series as we move forward. It’s a bit of ride, but I promise the result is going to be worth it! Thank you so much for all of your support, it really means a lot. Happy reading and enjoy! :)

Life’s Lessons Masterlist

The next morning brought cloudy skies, a gloom that matched the way Y/N was feeling as her eyes fluttered open. She turned her head and looked out the window, frowning as she saw the clouds in the sky. She loved the summer but now with fall settling in, the hopes for even one more day of warmth were over.

The thoughts of Dean hadn’t left her mind since the night before, as much as she tried to not think about him. The way he felt against her, his hard torso against hers, his calloused hands against her skin, the feeling of his muscles against her hands even through his shirt, his lips against hers… it had all stirred feelings within her that she wished she didn’t have for someone who was taken. She couldn’t do anything about the way she was feeling.

As she stood up from the bed and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, she couldn’t help but think about how much more complicated things had gotten. All because she couldn’t keep away from Dean.

She really was in trouble.

The shower turned on, wetting Dean’s hair as he tilted his head into the spray. The water flowed down his back, seeping into his skin. He closed his eyes and stroked the water through his hair a few times to get it soaked down to the scalp. He opened his eyes and stared at the tiled wall in front of him. He couldn’t stop thinking about what happened last night. The way Y/N felt against him, her smooth skin against his calloused fingers, her soft lips kissing his. He couldn’t get her out of his mind; being that close to her turning him on in ways he hadn’t been in a long time.

As Dean finished up in the shower and got dressed for the day, his mind was still on Y/N. However, guilt washed over him. He felt like he needed another shower. Maybe ten. It had been quite a few months since he and Lisa had been intimate in any way. The last time they even tried to start something up, she stopped him before anything could happen, saying she had lost the urge. He knew there were other ways to be close to someone but having been in a relationship for 3 years, and suddenly lacking a sex life in the last few months meant that he was incredibly frustrated. It had been a lot of time with his hand, in the shower or the bedroom when no one was around. He had never strayed however, and he wouldn’t, even if he had a moment of weakness with Y/N. He had stopped himself and he was going to make an effort with Lisa. Then maybe, just maybe, they could go back to the way things were.

Dean walked into the kitchen, seeing her and Ben laughing about some video on her phone, as they ate breakfast. He smiled as he saw her face light up. She was a beautiful woman, and anyone could see that. He cared very deeply for her, always had. It just never became more than that. He loved her but he wasn’t in love with her, but if they tried again, he knew that he could be.

He walked over and watched her lift her head to see him walking towards her. He leaned in and kissed her slowly on the lips, trying to see what her reaction would be. When she pulled away with a small smile, he tried not to feel too optimistic.

“Looks good” he said, as he sat down and piled several pieces of bacon onto his plate.

“It’s probably going to rain, so we can’t go to the park and swing a few bats” Ben informed him, sadly.

“Damn” Dean muttered as he looked out the windows and saw the grey skies. “That’s a shame.”

“I have to run a few errands, so you’re both welcome to join me” Lisa chimed in.

Ben groaned as he pushed the eggs around in his plate.

Dean snickered as he watched him. “Maybe I can call Sam. He’s not working on a case right now; we can drive into the city and all hang out at the big arcade. How ‘bout that?”

Ben’s eyes lit up. “Really?”

“Yeah, if it’s cool with your mom” Dean said, looking between him and Lisa.

“Sure” she smiled at her son.

“Yes!” Ben pumped his fist, eating his food properly now.

“Thanks” Lisa said as she looked at Dean, with half a smile.

Dean nodded as he tucked in.

It wasn’t much of a reaction, but he would take what little happiness he could get from her.

“Alright, go nuts” Dean told Ben, and watched the kid dash off into the arcade.

Dean turned to Sam and shook his head with a laugh, taking a sip from his beer. They both sat in the adjoining diner, watching Ben through the windows. While he was going crazy on all the games, Dean got the chance to talk his brother.

“How’s Eileen?” Dean asked, his fingers drumming against the bottle to the beat of the AC/DC song playing overhead.

“She’s good, a little tired, but good” Sam replied, taking a bite of his salad. “The new firm’s kicking her ass but she’s kicking theirs right back, so I’m proud of her.”

Dean smiled, albeit a little sadly as he saw how much his brother loved his wife. “That’s great, man.”

There was a moment of quiet as Dean kept picking at the label on the beer bottle, when Sam spoke up.

“I don’t know if I should ask this, but… how are things with Lisa?” Sam asked, tentatively.

Dean huffed, shaking his head. “Pretty much the same as always. If we’re not ignoring each other, we’re fighting about something. I’m trying to be a little more… I’m trying to get us back to some place closer to how we were but… I don’t know.”

Sam frowned, lines forming on his forehead as he worried over what Dean just said. “You’re sure you don’t want to just… end it before things get worse?”

“No” Dean said, too quickly. He looked out the window to see Ben playing Galaga. “I can’t do that to him.”

“Dean, what you and Lisa are doing is worse for him. This way, at least it’s a clean enough break and everyone can move on without too much damage” Sam explained, pushing his plate to the end of the table, finished with his meal.

“I know” Dean said, quietly.

“So, what’s the problem?” Sam shrugged. “Yeah okay, you had some good years, and that’s great but… you can try all you want to get those years back, it might not do anything. Lisa has been emotionally checked out from this for a long time now, and let’s face it, you are too. You’re both just in this for Ben.”

Dean took a swig of his beer but didn’t say anything.

“Dean, you deserve to be happy with the right woman, not miserable with the one who you thought was the right one” Sam said, leaning his arms on the table as he looked his brother.

“Sam” Dean groaned. “Just stop, okay?”

“But, Dean-” Sam started but Dean cut him off.

“You said what you had to say, alright? You made your point. Let’s move on” Dean said, his tone almost pleading.

“Okay” Sam whispered.

“Good” Dean muttered, picking up a few fries from his plate and shoving them into his mouth.

With his brother’s mind preoccupied with the food in front of him, Sam stared at Dean, seeing the turmoil written on his face. His brother was loyal to a fault, but he had seen for a while now how much this relationship was hurting him. He never listened to anyone, not him, their parents, his friends, about breaking up with Lisa. He always cited that Ben was the reason he needed to stay, but there was also another reason that Dean hated to admit to anyone, even himself. Sam could see it, though. His big brother was afraid of being alone.

Sam knew he couldn’t tell Dean to break up with Lisa any more than he already had. He had to realize that’s what he needed for himself, and maybe, he could find peace after it.

Later in the evening, Y/N laughed as she opened her door and walked into the house, Charlie following in behind her. They had just come back from a slasher movie, which hadn’t turned out to be very good, but you couldn’t expect a lot from a B grade film. That didn’t matter though, as they still got to enjoy lunch before that, and were just going to hang out now that they were at Y/N’s.

“God, that guy couldn’t act!” Charlie complained as she sank into Y/N’s couch. She kicked her converse off and brought her legs up. She had instantly made herself comfortable at her house, and Y/N couldn’t be happier with that.

Y/N continued to laugh, nodding as she agreed. “I know! And what about the scene where the axe went through his head? It totally didn’t connect!”

“Right?” Charlie shook her head, giggling.

“Alright, what are we drinking?” Y/N asked as her laughter died down and she walked into the kitchen.

“Whiskey” Charlie replied, quickly without thinking too much about it.

“Ooh, yes. Perfect for this weather” Y/N said, as she looked out the window at the light drizzle.

Y/N brought the bottle and two tumblers over, sitting next to her redheaded friend. She poured a couple of fingers in each and handed her one, clinking their glasses together. They both took a sip and Y/N sat back, smiling contently. It had been a good day, a nice distraction from her neighbor who she had feelings for. Her face must’ve changed when she thought about him for split second, because Charlie picked up on it.

“You okay?” she asked, curiously.

“Yeah” Y/N huffed with a small laugh. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You just seem like something’s on your mind” Charlie shrugged.

Y/N looked away from her and sighed. She was going to flip when she told her.

“I… went over to Dean’s for dinner last night” she started, waiting to get to the point.

“Nice. I hope Lisa was a bit more open than last time” Charlie commented.

Y/N bit her lip nervously, before letting it go. “She… she wasn’t there.”

One of Charlie’s eyebrows lifted up. “Okay…”

“We, uh… we had a great time. We talked a lot about his family, about mine. I… I told him about Ethan” Y/N told her, staring into her glass at the amber liquid.

“Wow” Charlie breathed out. “How did that go?”

Y/N smiled as she thought back to how he told her she was the strongest person he knew. She didn’t feel like she was, but just knowing that he thought that about her made her feel like she could be.

“It went well. In the moment I thought about against telling him, but he just… he made me feel so safe that I told him a little of it” Y/N said, the soft smile still on her face. “Not everything just yet, but I trust him and maybe I can tell him more, eventually.”

Charlie stared at her, knowing her new friend was falling for one of her old friends was incredible to see, but she didn’t want her heart to get broken by the situation at hand.

“Y/N… I’m glad you felt the confidence to tell him. I’m even more happy that he made you feel safe to open up, but… but you have to tread lightly here” Charlie said, carefully.

“I know” Y/N agreed.

“It’s my fault, really. I told you about Dean and Lisa’s relationship, but that was only because of what you said happened at dinner here-” Charlie said, but cut her off.

“It’s okay, Charlie, really” she reassured her, taking her hand in hers. “I know why you told me that. Believe me, I know. It’s just…”

“What?” Charlie knew there was something she wasn’t telling her.

Y/N sighed in defeat. “We kissed.”

“What?!” Charlie yelled, sitting forward as she stared wide eyed at Y/N.

“We had a great time, we were laughing, and he made dessert, and… fuck, it just happened” Y/N shook her head, saying it out loud made it more real, and made the guilt flood in again.

“Y/N!” Charlie yelled.

“I know!” Y/N yelled, burying her face into the couch cushions. “I’m a shitty person.”

“No, you’re not” Charlie told her, helping her off the couch cushions. “We just can’t let that happen again.”

“And I won’t” Y/N vowed. “I think it’s out of my system in the crappiest way possible, and it’s done now. Even if it was the best kiss of my life… I’m done.”

“Really?” Charlie asked, in awe of the statement she just made. “The best of your life?”

Y/N nodded, sheepishly. “It was like… like I was always meant to be there, with him.”

A silence fell as the two friends looked at each other, before Charlie spoke.

“I hate to say it, but… I think that’s where it has to end” Charlie said, as gently as she could.

“I know” Y/N nodded, firmly.

On those final words, the friends moved away from talking about it. Y/N knew that what happened last night couldn’t happen again. It would be hard to let him go, but she had to. She wasn’t going to break up a family. That’s not the kind of person she was. She had a moment of giving in, but it was done and dusted. Swept under a rug, never to see the light of day again. From that point forward, it would be strictly professional. She was Ben’s teacher and that was it. She may be their friendly neighbor, but she couldn’t be Dean’s friend.

She couldn’t have another moment to give into.

Dean smiled as he sipped his beer while sitting on the couch, watching Ben recall the day’s events to his mom. They had a great time with Sam at the arcade, playing all the games and eating junk food. After a while, Ben retreated to his room and Dean knew he’d been listening to his music before going to bed.

Dean walked into the bedroom after finishing his beer, watching Lisa get changed into her pyjamas. He moved up behind her after she took her top off, wrapping his arms around her waist. He leaned down, placing kisses along her shoulder.

“Dean” she said, a slight laugh bubbling up from her. “Stop.”

“Oh, come on, Lis. Ben’s in his room, probably has his headphones on” he said, between planting kisses on her shoulder. “We haven’t in a while…”

“Dean, please” she said, as she pulled away from him. However, when she turned around, she looked a little annoyed. “Maybe… maybe another time.”

Dean was surprised by that, considering she laughed a little when he came up behind her. “Yeah. Okay.”

She moved away from him, walked into the bathroom and shut the door, locking it.

Dean sighed as he changed into a pair of sweatpants and a black t-shirt. He left the room and into the living room, turning the lights off. He dropped his phone on the coffee table and laid down on the couch. It was a familiar feeling as he had done this a few times over the last year. Considering things didn’t go the way he thought they would tonight, he knew it was better to stay away for now. He pulled the throw blanket over himself and closed his eyes.

After some time, he opened them. He wasn’t going to sleep. He lifted his head and looked at the clock on the wall, the time reading 10.30pm. It wasn’t late for him, as he usually fell asleep in the AM on a weekend. He picked up his phone and started scrolling through different things, before an idea came to him. Hopefully she wasn’t asleep yet.

Y/N sat up in bed, reading, the bedside lamp provided the light she needed as it bathed the room in a warm glow. She pushed her red glasses up the bridge of her nose when she felt them falling, flipping the page. Charlie had left an hour ago, which gave her some time to herself and the ability to lose herself in her latest read. As she read, her phone chimed. She frowned, wondering who could be texting her at this hour. She thought it must be Charlie, wanting to tell her some funny anecdote, but her eyebrows furrowed as she picked up her phone from the bedside table and looked at the screen.

Dean: Any chance you’re free tomorrow? We need to talk.

She sighed as she placed her book down next to her and typed out her response.

Dean frowned as he saw what she had written.

Y/N: I don’t think that’s such a good idea, Dean.

Dean: We can’t just ignore what happened, Y/N.

She shook her head. She couldn’t be pulled into this again. She had no desire to talk about it, choosing instead to forget about it and make sure it never happened again.

Y/N: I think that’s exactly what we need to do. Forget it happened. Goodnight, Dean.

Dean looked down at the message and shook his head. How could he forget when she was constantly on his mind? He was trying, had been trying all day, but the fact was he couldn’t stop thinking about her. He couldn’t deny he had developed feelings for her. He told himself he would try with Lisa, but would it do any good? He just needed to talk to Y/N and see whether they were on the same page or capable of getting there, and then go from there.

He decided to put his phone and sleep on it. Maybe things would be clearer in the morning.

Monday quickly rolled around, and Y/N was thankful. School was a good distraction from the drama in her life, even if Ben was there. She was going to have her 8th graders after lunch, so as she ate, she had enough time to look over what she needed to do for class. She was in the middle of reviewing her lesson plans when she heard someone call out her name. She looked up and saw Chuck walking towards her.

“Hey, Y/N, can we talk for a minute?” he asked, politely.

“Sure” she replied, but slightly nervous as she didn’t know what this is about.

As she followed him into his office, she sat down across him as he sat at his desk.

“Don’t worry, it’s not anything to worry about” he assured her, when he saw her looking like a deer in headlights. “I just wanted to ask you how things have been going.”

She sighed in relief, a smile appearing on her face. “Things have been great. Challenging, but I think I’ve handled it.”

“That’s great to hear” he returned her smile. “I’ve had some calls from parents telling me how much their kids have liked you, so all I can say is keep doing what you’re doing.”

“Thanks, Mr. Shurley” she said.

“Ah” he waved a finger at her.

“Sorry” she laughed, slightly. “Chuck.”

“You’re welcome” he said with a small nod.

She quickly left his office with a smile on her face. Hearing that from Chuck was exactly what she needed today. It was the reassurance she needed that coming to Lawrence was a good decision. It was a reminder of why she came here, for this job and to inspire these kids, not for any unnecessary situations outside of school. She really just had to put her head down and do what she needed to and forget about Dean. Even if he did live across street from her, right now, he couldn’t exist.

As she walked from the staff room to the classroom after lunch, she watched kids file into the rooms, ready for the next period. She smiled as she turned the corner, ready to see her students but it dropped the minute she entered the room.

Ben and another student, Tommy, were roughly pushing each other back and forth, some of the other kids in class yelling for them to stop, while others yelled for them to keep going. She quickly dropped her things on the desk and rushed over, attempting to pull them apart.

“Stop it, stop it right now” she said, her teacher voice louder than usual. “Ben, Tommy – STOP!”

She got in the middle, either hand on the boys’ shoulders, watching them breathe heavily as they glared at each other. She thought about sending them over to Chuck’s office, but they’d probably kill each other on the way over.

“You two, sit down right now. We’re going to Mr. Shurley’s office straight after class” she said, sternly.

The rest of the kids were timid for the rest of the class. She had rearranged some of them so that Ben and Tommy were sitting as far away from each other as possible. Things were tense through the whole period, but she was glad that once it was over, Ben and Tommy stayed in their seats as the other kids filed out.

“So, who wants to tell me what happened before we head over to Mr. Shurley’s office?” she asked, looking between both of the boys.

Tommy stared down at the desk, refusing to speak. Y/N knew he wasn’t going to say anything and looked over at Ben. He looked at her with a mournful yet angry look. Clearly it was something bad.

“Tommy was making fun of me, that Dean’s not my real dad, that I don’t know who my dad is” he told her, side eying Tommy.

Y/N’s heart sank into her stomach. This was worse than she thought.

She nodded, calmly standing up from her desk and walking over to Ben. “Tommy, make your way to the Principal’s office, please. You can explain to him why I sent you, and that Ben and I are on our way.”

Tommy rolled his eyes as he got up from the desk, slinging his backpack over his shoulder as he walked out. She was going to be there soon, so he knew he didn’t have a chance to escape.

Y/N took a chair and placed in front of Ben’s desk, sitting down across from him. After a few seconds of figuring what to say, she clasped her hands as she looked at him.

“I can’t imagine what it’s like to hear what Tommy said to you, Ben, but what I do know is that what you and Dean have is special. He cares a lot about you, and he treats you like you’re his, doesn’t he?” she said, pausing after she asked him a question.

Ben responded with only a nod.

“Then that’s all that matters. You know your relationship with Dean better than anyone, and what others have to say about it, doesn’t change the fact that you’re a family. That Dean’s your family” she explained, with a small smile at the end.

There was a brief pause before Ben finally spoke.

“I’m sorry that I’ve been quiet in class. It’s just weird seeing you around the neighborhood and our street, and then here, too” he said, looking up at her.

She was shocked. That wasn’t what she expected him to say.

She smiled, softly. “It’s okay, Ben. I’m sure it’s strange for me to be friends with Dean and your mom.”

She added Lisa in only for Ben, because she knew they were far from friends.

Ben shook his head. “No, not really.”

Y/N nodded. She was almost hoping he said it was strange, so that not being around Dean would be a bit easier.

“Alright” she said, standing up. “We better get over there.”

“Am I gonna get into trouble for pushing Tommy?” he asked, as he stood up and followed her.

She frowned, not sure what would happen. “Maybe an after-school detention at most, considering neither of you are seriously hurt.”

“Great” he said, rolling his eyes.

Sure enough, as they discussed everything in Chuck’s office, both Tommy and Ben were going to have to do after-school detention, which Y/N was meant to be supervising that day, coincidentally. Tommy apologized to Ben and then both of the boys were off to their next class, albeit slightly late, but Chuck had already informed the next teachers’ of why they would be late. Chuck told her that he’d call the parents as she left his office. She had literally been there a couple of hours ago, for some good feedback and now this happened. Talk about two ends of the spectrum. Though she had to be thankful nothing worse happened to either of the boys.

The length of time seemed to stretch on forever as Y/N waited for after-school detention to be over. There were couple of other kids in there with Ben and Tommy, who looked like he was ready to run as soon as the time was up.

All of them bolted as soon as she opened her mouth to tell them they could go. Ben gave her a small smile as he walked out of the room, which she returned. He was a good kid and didn’t deserve to be talked about the way he was, no kid did. She hoped it wouldn’t weigh heavily on him after this experience. She quickly packed her own things, putting on her dark grey coat over her dark grey A-line dress, with a deep red belt and collar. She was more than ready to go home herself.

Dean leaned against the Impala, waiting for Ben to come out of the school. He clocked off early to come and get him after he was done with detention, as Lisa was working late. She had called him and told him what happened, and now here was. He smiled as he watched Ben walk out and over to him.

“Hey” he said, putting an arm around him. “You okay?”

“Yeah” Ben nodded.

“Alright, well, you can fill me in on why you had to go to detention on the way home” Dean said, as he opened the car door.

As he was about to get in, he saw Y/N leaving the school, pulling her coat tight around her, protecting herself from the wind. His eyes followed the lines of her legs in her stockings and black heels, shaking his head of the thoughts that flashed through his mind.

“Hey, just wait here, okay?” he said to Ben.

“Sure” Ben replied, not really looking up at where Dean was heading off to, as he got into the passenger side.

Dean jogged up to Y/N, quickly catching up to her. “Y/N!” he called out and watched her turn around.

Y/N was shocked to hear his familiar voice call out to her. She didn’t expect to see him there and swallowed nervously. “Dean, hi.”

“Listen, I know you said that we shouldn’t talk about what happened, but I just… I have to know-” he started but she cut him off, shaking her head.

“You don’t have to say anything, Dean” she said, quietly, her emotions getting the better of her. She didn’t want to do what she was about to, but she had to. “It was a lapse in judgement for both of us. A moment of weakness that won’t ever happen again.”

Dean knew there was truth to her words but hearing them made his heart feel heavy. As much as he was trying in the last couple of days with Lisa, it hadn’t done much for his hopes that they would be fine again. He wanted to talk to Y/N and see if they could work something out.

“I just think-” he started but she cut him off again.

“No, Dean. Just don’t. You have a family. They’re the ones you should be thinking about, not me. That kid over there” she said and pointed to the car where Ben was. “He considers you his family, and I know you feel the same. I won’t break up a family, Dean. I just won’t.”

He looked between the car and her. She was right. He cared about Ben, and he was only in this relationship for him now. To be in his life. Did that mean he had to be miserable with Lisa forever, though? He didn’t know what to do.

“Do you regret it?” he needed to know if she felt the same way as him. He wished he hadn’t done it while he was with Lisa, but it happened. However, remembering how she felt against him… it felt right.

She shook her head, feeling tears prick her eyes. “No. And that’s the problem.”

She should’ve felt regret. She should’ve hated what she did. She felt guilty for it happening but at the same time, she couldn’t regret kissing him. She had never felt a connection like that with anyone she had been with.

“But that doesn’t mean I don’t feel guilty” she said, before pressing her lips together to keep them from quivering. “Ben’s a great kid. At the end of the day… I have to look out for him as much as you do. I’m not his parent but I am his teacher. I have a sense of responsibility to him.”

He felt a pang in his heart as she looked at him, tears threatening to fall.

“I know you have your issues with Lisa, and I want… more than anything, to say forget it all and take me in your arms, but I can’t. I shouldn’t be thinking about you in the ways that I do. I shouldn’t be thinking about what life would be like with you” she shook her head, everything just spilling out in a ramble of emotions.

“Y/N…” he whispered, slowly putting his hand on her shoulder. He wanted to tell her that he thought the same things.

She gasped, feeling the warmth of his hand radiate through her. She gulped and breathed in deep. She looked at him with a stony expression. She had to put her walls up and walk away. It was the only way to save herself from heartbreak and for him to not feel like crap for what happened.

“I’m… going to step back for a while. You’ll see me around, I know, but we have to pretend like nothing happened. You have to think of me as your neighbor, as Ben’s teacher, and that’s it. We can’t be friends anymore, Dean” she said, as a tear finally escaped and rolled down her cheek.

Dean’s eyes widened as he shook his head. “What? No. Screw that-”

She shook her head when he tried take her hand in his. “It’s too hard to be around you and not be with you, Dean.”

“Y/N” he said, finally getting close enough to her that he could take her hand in his and she couldn’t stop him. “Don’t do this.”

“I’m sorry, Dean. I have to. They’re your family and you care about them; I can see that. And I can also see that you care about Ben. So much so, that you’re willing to stay in this relationship for him” she said, smiling sadly. “You’re a good man, Dean. You’re loyal and you’re trustworthy, kind and loving… but at some point, you have to decide whether what you’re staying in this for is a good enough reason.”

Dean stared at her but didn’t say anything.

“It’s a big decision to make… but I can’t make it for you by continuing the way we have been. It isn’t fair to anyone.” Her voice cracked, slightly shaky but she managed to keep the rest of her tears at bay.

Dean shook his head as he looked at her. Everything she said made sense. Despite it, he couldn’t help but feel his heart sink at her words. Not being friends would feel weird, especially if he saw her around and couldn’t say anything to her. Maybe… maybe they needed this, though. He needed to give Lisa a chance without Y/N being a constant in his life. He told himself he would try, and now he had a proper chance to do so.

“It’s gonna be weird… not talking to you” he said, honestly.

She nodded, looking into his eyes. His beautiful eyes that she always lost herself in. “I know.”

“Take care of yourself, Y/N” he muttered, his jaw clenched, eyebrows furrowed.

“You too, Dean” she whispered. “Whatever you decide… just make sure you’re doing the right thing. For everyone.”

She looked at him one last time, and even though she probably shouldn’t have, she leaned in and softly kissed his stubbled cheek. It would probably be a mixed signal, but she couldn’t leave him there looking so sad.

As she walked away, Dean could feel a tingle on his cheek where she had imprinted her kiss, much like she had on his lips, previously. Watching her walk away made his stomach uneasy, feeling it churn as she got into her car. She would be right there across the street, and he wouldn’t be able to talk to her. He didn’t know how to process that as he walked back to the car where Ben was waiting for him.

When Y/N got into her car, she watched as Dean got into the Impala and drove off, the rumbling of the engine reaching her ears, even from this distance.

As she drove home, she knew she had to make peace with her decision. As much as she wanted to take it back, she had to let him go.

Once and for all.

2 weeks later…

Y/N sipped the last of her vodka martini, bopping her head in time to the music. Next to her, Charlie was doing the same. She was glad when Meg suggested they come out to the city for a night on the town, on Saturday night. She needed a night of good drinks, good music, and maybe even a little flirting.

It had been two weeks since she had talked to Dean in the school parking lot. In that time, she had barely seen him. Just once or twice as she left for work in the morning and so did he, and once when she was coming back from the grocery store. She had seen him with Lisa one night, coming back from what looked like date night. She was glad that things were going a bit better for them, but it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt seeing them together.

Which is why when Meg had suggested they drive up to Kansas City to go to a bar she liked; Y/N jumped at the chance. As Lizzo serenaded her from her “Badass Women” playlist, she put on a black lace bodysuit and mini leather skirt that came to her mid-thigh, her black lace up heeled ankle boots, gave herself a smokey eye with lots of mascara look and a plum colored lip. She put a bit of wave in her hair, smiling at the way she looked. Charlie had whistled when she opened the door as shrugged on her long black coat, and she had laughed a little nervously when Meg told her she was “totally gonna get laid tonight.” It was her first time meeting the dark-haired woman in person, and she liked her instantly. She had like her even as they chatted over the phone, but it was different now. She seemed like a take-no-shit type of person, and Y/N liked that.

While she wasn’t expecting anything tonight, Y/N felt confident in the way she looked, having caught a few eyes on her already. Being here had given her a confidence she had been lacking back home, because of all the emotional and mental abuse Ethan had put her through. When Dean told her he admired her strength, that she was beautiful and an incredible person, it awoke something in her. She felt different. She didn’t need validation from anyone, but at the same time knowing that she was appreciated and loved by these amazing people she had met, gave her a new sense of belonging. She finally felt like she was exactly where she needed to be.

Meg pushed her way through the crowd of people, a tray of drinks in her hand. She handed her and Charlie their respective drinks, taking the Shirley Temple for herself, as she had made herself the designated driver.

“Y/N, there’s a group of guys over there, and I swore the blonde one is totally looking at you” she said, pointing discreetly over her left shoulder.

Y/N frowned and looked around, sure enough seeing 4 guys around a table like the girls were, the blonde one looking in their direction.

“He could be looking at you, you know. Or Charlie. I mean he doesn’t know you’re both taken” Y/N shot down the idea.

Charlie scoffed. “Yeah, right. All eyes have been on you tonight.”

“Go over there” Meg told her, her eyes lighting up.

“No” Y/N said, shaking her head.

“Do it or I will” Meg threatened, smiling wickedly.

“You wouldn’t, Masters” Y/N glared at her.

“Watch me, Y/L/N” she laughed as she quickly dashed off.

“Meg!” Y/N called out but she wouldn’t be heard over the music.

Charlie laughed as she took a sip of her drink.

Y/N shook her head at her and took a sip of her martini.

Y/N watched as Meg talked to the blonde guy and then pointed over at her. Y/N gulped nervously when she saw him nod. He was looking at her. Shit. Meg quickly walked back over.

“Girl, he’s so interested! Come on, please go over there” Meg was practically shaking with excitement.

Y/N sighed nervously. Was she ready for this?

It had been a year since she and Ethan had broken up. In that time, she had hooked up twice on two different occasions, back home. It had felt good to just have sex for the release she had needed, but it had been a while since she let herself feel something more for a man. Dean was the first one she had felt a strong connection to since Ethan, back when things were still okay with him. Even then, the pull she felt towards Dean was unlike anything she had ever felt. Not with Ethan, or any other boyfriends from the past.

What she felt for Dean… it still hadn’t fizzled out, as much as she tried to ignore it. Maybe this is what she needed though. To get over him.

She rolled her shoulders back and fixed her hair. “How do I look?”

“Sinful” Meg replied, simply.

She laughed, shaking her head at her new friend. “Okay. I’m going.”

Charlie grinned. “Go get him.”

Y/N hopped off the high-top stool and moved through the crowd. As she did, her Y/E/C eyes connected with his, and he flashed her a smile. She smiled back as she reached the table, his friends quickly excusing themselves. As she got closer and could see him properly in the dim lighting of the room, she saw that he had blue eyes. He was only a few inches taller than her because of her heels, unlike Dean who would tower over her no matter her footwear.

“Hey, I’m Mark” he said, offering his hand.

“Y/N” she took his hand and shook it. She didn’t feel a spark just yet from his touch like she had with Dean so instantly, but that was okay.

“I’ll be honest, I couldn’t stop looking at you all night” he laughed, sounding a little nervous.

She felt the heat rise in her cheeks, and it wasn’t from the alcohol. “Well, you’re not so bad yourself.”

“Let me get you a drink” he said, flagging down a waiter. “What’ll you have?”

“Vodka martini” she said, and watched the waiter walk away to get her a drink. She could’ve just gotten hers from her table, but he had offered to buy her one. She couldn’t say no.

“Thanks” she said, smiling at him.

“You’re welcome” he smirked.

“Do you live here in the city?” she asked, as the song overhead changed to something slower, making it easier to talk.

“Yeah. You?” he asked in return.

“Lawrence” she replied.

“So, what do you do, in Lawrence?” he wondered, smiling at her.

“I’m a teacher, 8th grade English” she smiled back.

“Wow, that’s great” he nodded, approvingly.

“What do you do?” she asked.

“I’m a copywriter, for an ad agency” he replied, handing her the glass as the waiter came back to them. He passed the waiter a few bills before he walked away.

She nodded, approvingly, too. “That’s amazing.”

“Not as glamorous as you would think, though” he laughed, slightly.

“Ah, so nothing like a modern version of Mad Men?” she joked.

He laughed loudly, shaking his head. “Definitely not.”

With a break in conversation, Y/N drifted off as the song that started while they were talking, continued. The words hit her as she thought about her life back home, and the life she was making for herself now, starting over in Lawrence. The song spoke of a person to start over with, and while she longed for that someone to be Dean, she knew it couldn’t be.

It don’t matter to me

Wherever we are is where I wanna be

And, honey, for once in our life

Let’s take our chances and roll the dice

I can be your lucky penny

You can be my four-leaf clover

Starting over

“Hey” Mark’s voice bringing her back to reality. “You alright?”

She smiled, nodding quickly. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Just feeling the song, huh?” he asked, laughing.

“I guess” she shrugged.

They talked for a few more minutes before his friends came over and told him they were going to head out.

“I should probably go, too” he said, regretfully. He took out his phone and handed it to her. “Here, put your number in and we can talk some time. Maybe… maybe I can take you out some time?”

She smiled as she typed her number in. A flashback of doing the same thing with Dean’s phone passed through her mind, but she pushed it away. “Yeah.”

“It was nice to meet you, Y/N” he said, smiling.

“You too, Mark” she smiled back, biting her lip.

As he left, she sighed. He was nothing at all like Dean, as she had discovered through their initial conversation. They were completely different in their features, the way they dressed, and the way they talked. Maybe that was a good thing, though. Giving Mark a shot would be the best way to detach herself from Dean. He was adorably cute, and she liked their banter already.

Maybe Mark was what she needed to truly forget about her feelings for Dean.

Dean popped the last bite of his burger into his mouth, humming as the flavors exploded on his tastebuds. He leaned back and took a sip of his beer from the bottle, glancing around the diner. It was a favorite spot for him, Ben and Lisa and they used to come here quite often before things started going sour. Funnily enough, it was Lisa who had suggested they go out for dinner and go there.

Things had been slightly better with her these last couple of weeks. They had managed to have proper conversations without things getting out of hand, and he had even made her laugh a few times. There was still no dice in terms of sex, but he was hoping that would change tonight when they got back home.

Dean looked over at Lisa and Ben sitting across from him, currently having a slight disagreement over him playing games on his phone while they were out and eating dinner.

“Hey” Dean said, interrupting them. “Listen to your mom.”

“Fine” Ben said, rolling his eyes as he put his phone away. “Can I at least get a refill?” He shook his empty glass.

“Yes” Lisa said, smiling slightly.

Ben got up from the table and went and stood in line at the self-serve refill station.

“Thanks” Lisa said as she turned to look at Dean.

“No problem” he said, winking at her.

He smirked when he got a small smile out of her. He couldn’t believe how things were suddenly looking up for them, but he was relieved to not be fighting with her for a change.

Her phone chiming once, then twice got his attention as well as hers. She looked at her phone, but quickly pushed it aside.

“Something wrong?” he asked, frowning.

“No, just my sister. I’ll talk to her later” she replied, shaking her head.

“Lis, it’s your sister. Talk to her, I don’t care” he shrugged, not minding if she took a call.

“No, it’s really okay” she said, her voice shaking a little.

“Lisa, what’s going on?” he asked, starting to suspicious that something was up.

“Nothing” she bit out through gritted teeth.

Dean sighed, annoyed when the phone chimed again. Having spoken to her sister a few times, he figured he’d talk to her and see if everything was okay. He reached across the table and picked up Lisa’s phone.

“Dean!” she protested.

“If you won’t talk to her then let me” he said, looking down at the screen. He glared at the screen as he read the messages. They weren’t from her sister.

Call me when you’re done with dinner.

I can’t stop thinking about you.

I wish you were here with me.

Dean saw that there was no name, just a heart emoji instead. He read the ones on the lock screen, and that was enough for him to get the picture. That was enough for him to know that she was still lying to him. That she had been for more than a year now.

Dean looked at her and saw her face change into fear.

“Something you wanna tell me?” he asked, glaring at her.

-x-

Tags: @flamencodiva @deanwanddamons @winchest09 @katehuntington @akshi8278 @hobby27 @michellethetvaddict @spngirl05 @kyjey @halesandy @440mxs-wife @stoneyggirl @deanswaywardgirl @wonder-cole @that-one-gay-girl @redbarn1995 @marianita195 @babypink224221 @deans-baby-momma @parinarain @thoughts-and-funnies @mandalou29 @castiels-a-winchester @ellewritesfix05 @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @supraveng

#Life's Lessons #Dean x Female!Reader #Dean x Female!Reader Series #Dean x Female!Reader Fanfiction #Female!Reader Insert #Mechanic!Dean #Teacher!Reader #Dean x Reader Fanfiction #Dean Winchester Series #Dean Winchester Fanfiction #Dean Winchester Fanfic #Supernatural Fanfiction

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robininthelabyrinth · 4 years ago

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Fire and Light (ao3) - on tumblr: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8

- Chapter 9 -

Wen Ruohan presided over dinner in what was now a monthly occurrence.

He liked habit more, now that he was getting older; liked to have everything in its proper place.

Liked to indulge himself more.

Nie Mingjue mechanically forced down his food, drinking his soup first to fill his belly as quickly as possible. If he was very lucky, he might get a case of food poisoning, same as the one that had struck down the younger children that one time; if he did, he’d do his utmost to throw up all over Wen Ruohan’s shoes.

As always, they answered his questions. Wen Ruohan was just in the middle of an especially complicated hypothetical when one of his deputies rushed in with an urgent letter, falling to his knees before him. Wen Ruohan took the letter and read it; he scowled and dismissed them, rising to his feet to return to the throne room.

The reprieve felt like a brush of cool wind on a hot day.

Nie Mingjue caught Wen Xu’s eye.

Wen Xu winked.

It wasn’t really a surprise when the war started.

There were only so many hypothetical battle plans Nie Mingjue could be asked about, whether by Wen Ruohan or by Nie Huaisang and the younger generation of Wens, without him putting two and two together. He was put in the awkward situation of having to answer both sides to the best of his ability, and the whole thing started to feel a little like playing a game of go against himself.

“That’s what you get for being irritatingly good at tactics and with a knack for strategy, and having proven for years and years that you could find weaknesses in all of Sect Leader Wen’s hypothetical battleplans,” Nie Huaisang told him. “Talent brings with it its own punishment.”

“What’s your punishment for all your scheming, then?” Nie Mingjue asked, amused despite himself. “Becoming emperor and ruling the world?”

“I,” Nie Huaisang said, putting his hand to his chest, “am going to grow up to be absolutely useless.”

“Nice try.”

To Nie Mingjue’s relief, Wen Ruohan did not send him to the front line, perhaps afraid that Nie Mingjue would attempt some sabotage or maybe merely run away, and that made it more difficult for him to implement the plans Nie Mingjue suggested to him. They were good, solid plans, each and every one of them, Nie Mingjue implementing everything he learned about the rules of war and adding in a touch of his own knack for forecasting how people would react in a fight, but living so long in Qishan meant that he knew a little bit about how people behaved the rest of the time, too.

He couldn’t make bad suggestions in the plans he recommended or Wen Ruohan would know, but he could propose a plan that required a will of iron and nerves of steel when he knew that the general in charge of that particular division was crafty but cautious, could suggest a complex maneuver requiring cooperation for a general who hated his underlings, could apply just a bit of the brattiness he’d picked up from Wen Chao and Nie Huaisang alike to make his plans just that little bit more annoying to implement.

He could murmur counterplans in the dark of the night when they were all supposed to be asleep, casually sharing a single bed because it was cold, the strange chill of the Nightless City’s interior despite the warmer climate. He could stare at the ceiling, reciting weakness after weakness of the plans he had proposed as if he was merely anxious about them, and this time he tailored those weaknesses to specific strengths: how the pincer maneuver wouldn’t work if it was used against the Jiang, especially if they relied on their watercraft to escape, turning strength to weakness by retaliating in the aftermath; how the advantageous high ground of the mountain would backfire if their enemy were the Lan, their battle-songs’ effectiveness multiplied by the clear mountain air and the resonance of the echoes; how the effect of the ambush would be halved if it was used against the Jin, who were so rich and so lazy that their baggage train would never move fast enough to spring the trap in full.

He still didn’t know how Nie Huaisang and Wen Chao exchanged letters with Lan Wangji, or what Wen Ning was doing over in the Lotus Pier with the full support of Jiang Fengmian’s mother-in-law, or even what scheme Wen Xu and Wen Qing had concocted between them to lure in the normally reluctant Jin sect and force them to take a side. He didn’t need to know, didn’t want to know; he wanted to put his body between them and Wen Ruohan, distract the man with his ‘walks’ and his punishments and the influence that Wen Ruohan thought meant he knew everything there was to know, and to give them as much time as he could manage before disaster struck.

“Isn’t it time for Nie Huaisang to go to the Cloud Recesses?” he asked, playing ignorant, in the middle of a dinner when Wen Ruohan was already stewing over some unfortunate reversals, more than a few caused by the reemerged Qingheng-jun, who had taken on the mantle of leading the war as its general.

Wen Ruohan turned to him with lightning in his eyes, and Nie Mingjue didn’t have to opine on the war for an entire week, confined as he was to his sickbed.

But good things could not last, and he closed his eyes in anticipation of pain when Wen Xu came to sit by his bed in the middle of the night.

“Where is he sending you?” he asked. The two of them were the only ones old enough to be used in war, the others too young to go even for someone as disdainful of social norms as Wen Ruohan, and if Nie Mingjue could not be trusted on a battlefield then it had to be Wen Xu.

“I’m sorry,” Wen Xu said.

“Don’t be. It’s not your fault – are you supposed to tell him no? I know you will do everything you can to stop the worst of the war, to fight honorably and with fairness, avoiding harm to the common people.”

Wen Xu swallowed audibly. “You’ve always thought so well of me,” he murmured. “Always assumed such things…to continue to do badly even after I knew what you thought of me was to fail to live up to your expectations, and even if it made things harder sometimes, the alternative of letting you down was always worse. I hate to disappoint you now.”

“You won’t.”

There was a pause, a long silence. Wen Xu gathering his thoughts, steeling his spine.

“He wants me to burn the Unclean Realm.”

Nie Mingjue had expected a blow. He had not expected –

He exhaled, hard, and found Wen Xu’s hand with his own, squeezing it lightly.

I cannot forgive this, he meant. But I will hate him for it instead of you.

When the news came, Nie Mingjue allowed himself to feel for the first time the rage he had been swallowing down for nearly five years – his father’s rage, his family’s rage, Baxia’s rage, his own.

Training the saber was a style that promoted aggression, both in fighting and in the soul, and yet Nie Mingjue had restrained himself to the point of agony, oppressing himself internally as thoroughly as Wen Ruohan did externally, and all because he knew that the consequences of his actions would not be felt by him alone.

Because he was still his sect’s heir, still the rightful leader of Qinghe Nie, and if he could by his submission and humiliation earn them even a little more consideration, he would do it, however anathema it was to him.

He would be his sect’s heir before he was his father’s son, forgetting injustice and bending knee to his father’s killer – he would keep silent, no matter what he endured.

Wen Xu burned the Unclean Realm, and for the first time, Nie Mingjue put aside his silence.

He howled.

At first, Wen Ruohan laughed at him – the rage of the impotent was merely attractive coloring to him – but Nie Mingjue was not so foolish as to waste the gift of anger so easily. He did not do what Wen Ruohan had undoubtedly expected him to do: savage some training dummies, beat up a few pointless guards, beat himself even if only to vent the pain in his heart.

He did what Wen Ruohan did not expect.

Nie Mingjue, who loved only his family more than his sect –

He lashed out at them.

Nie Mingjue rampaged through the familial quarters at the Nightless City: he burned a sobbing Nie Huaisang’s fans, calling him worthless and a disappointment on their family name; he destroyed a cauldron in Wen Qing’s room in the midst of a batch of medicine she was making, unable to find her but naming her complicit, shouting that she supported evil from behind a façade of righteousness; he attacked Wen Chao’s room, searching for the son of his enemy and calling for his head, demanding blood for blood, red-eyed with fury, searching for a target.

He found one.

Not Wen Chao himself, of course – Nie Mingjue was not, as he was pretending to be, truly maddened beyond all reason, for all that the sorrow and anger he felt were real – but rather his bodyguard, who was nominally there to protect him.

Wen Zhuliu, the Core-Melting Hand. A technique that could only be used for two things, for scaring people – or turning the course of a single battle.

For destroying good people on the other side of the war, turning them into regular people that could not fight, and destroying morale at the same time – Wen Zhuliu was a plague-carrier, a danger that needed to be avoided, as much as weapon simply in the threat of him as he was in actual reality.

Wen Zhuliu was a fierce fighter, more powerful than a person with that sort of technique usually was, and Nie Mingjue was not in as good a shape as he could be, still recovering both emotionally and physically from his last walk with Wen Ruohan and the consequences of his insolent tongue, but he had the advantage of surprise on his side and his saber was unmatched in close combat, the melee his specialty.

By the time Wen Ruohan realized that Nie Mingjue had turned against his own in a way he’d been refusing to do for years and came to stop him, Nie Mingjue had already claimed Wen Zhuliu’s head, sticking it on a makeshift pike before burning the body as an offering in his father’s name.

He turned, red-eyed, to look upon the man he would much rather have killed but knew in his weakness that he couldn’t, and in the strength and safety of his rage decided to give it his best shot anyway.

It didn’t work, of course.

This time he was bedridden for more than a week.

Nie Mingjue found himself missing the others more than he thought he would.

He’d anticipated it, of course. The instant Wen Xu had told him his mission, the plan had leapt fully-formed into his mind, the only way he could think of to keep the younger children safe since there was no way to keep them beneath Wen Ruohan’s notice. In Wen Ruohan’s eyes they were tools, not yet old enough to be properly useful but still sharp enough to use where it counted – he knew how much Nie Mingjue loved them, and if the war went badly he would undoubtedly threaten their lives to get Nie Mingjue’s compliance, would use them as leverage to send him to the front line as a general for the wrong side. Any failure would be punished, and Nie Mingjue didn’t need personal experience to know that war was nothing but failures, one right after the other, interspersed with occasional victories snatched from the jaws of defeat.

Wen Ruohan would not accept that. He would hurt the children, again and again, just to hurt him.

He would put his attention on them, and when he did, he would figure out what they were doing. All their little schemes would become clear to his eyes, and then –

There was no and then. It was unthinkable.

Nie Mingjue wasn’t strong enough to stop Wen Ruohan, no more than he could stop the full weight of a rushing river, but like the river even Wen Ruohan could be diverted if you were clever enough about it.

Nie Mingjue was not especially clever, he didn’t think, not the way Nie Huaisang or Wen Xu or even Wen Qing were, but that was why he thought his plan would work – Wen Ruohan wouldn’t expect it from him.

He would accept the surface reading of what happened: he would think that Nie Mingjue had succumbed to his family’s curse and lashed out blindly in his rage, burning bridges it had taken him years to build, and his cruel mind would immediately leap to how he could use this to hurt and torment him. He would know that Nie Mingjue would be all the more pained if he knew that Wen Ruohan was using his gross violation of trust to replace his influence on the children, which Wen Ruohan hated, with his own.

Under the circumstances, it would hurt him more for Wen Ruohan to treat them well, seeking to seduce them into dependence, than it would hurt him to see them in pain. Nie Mingjue could only count on Wen Ruohan’s sadism to do the rest.

(And since he had no choice but to break with his family in such a horrible way, there was no reason not to take advantage of the situation to get rid of Wen Zhuliu. The benefits outweighed the costs – or at least, the benefits went to everyone, while the costs fell only on him, and he could accept that.)

Nie Mingjue had already seen the fruits of his efforts. At the very beginning, when Nie Mingjue was still bedridden, Wen Ruohan had brought Nie Huaisang with him to the room in the Fire Palace where Nie Mingjue had been imprisoned, and Nie Huaisang had quailed away from him, rocking backwards a little, almost even leaning behind Wen Ruohan as if Nie Mingjue was the scarier of the two.

(Nie Mingjue knew that Nie Huaisang was the finest actor of their group, but oh – it hurt, it hurt!)

Wen Ruohan smiled at the spasm of pain that crossed Nie Mingjue’s face and put his hand on Nie Huaisang’s shoulder as he drew him away.

Nie Mingjue wanted to cut off that hand and burn it to ashes.

He wanted –

He wanted many things.

A different life, for the most part. To live somewhere where he didn’t have to make these sorts of dirty calculations, to hurt the people he loved in order to save them from worse pain. Where he would be able to take Nie Huaisang into his arms and whisper promises that he wasn’t going to succumb to a qi deviation the way their father had, at least not any time soon; where he could buy Wen Qing a half-dozen new cauldrons in apology; where he could tell Wen Chao that he didn’t mean any of the things he’d forced himself to say…

He’d warned them, of course. But there was knowing, and then there was experiencing, and he – he hated to disappoint them, even a little.

And in all his plans he hadn’t realized how terribly he’d miss them, all of them, now that he couldn’t see them.

There was nothing to do but miss them now that he was here, trapped in a small little bed in a small little room with barely any light but that which came in through the door when someone walked by, all alone and waiting for Wen Ruohan to decide his fate.

A fate that was a lot less certain than it had once been, Nie Mingjue reflected. Wen Ruohan had once been bound by etiquette to keep him alive, to pretend to the cultivation world that his forced adoption was an act of generosity rather than an outright act of conquering, but all of those reasons went away now that the cultivation world had declared war on him.

He’d already sent Wen Xu to burn the Unclean Realm. Why bother with hiding behind a puppet?

At least it didn’t seem like Wen Ruohan had realized it yet.

#mdzs #nie mingjue #nie huaisang #wen xu #wen chao #wen ning #wen qing #my fic #my fics #fire and light #reminder for those that need it that this fic will not show on screen torture

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tsukkisbean · 4 years ago

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haikyuu nsfw alphabet series | oikawa tōru

please block #claras steamys if you don’t want to see this type of content!!

warnings: sexual themes (bondage, power play), mentions of sex, fem!reader

a/n: (1) based on post time-skip!! (2) not edited (3) i debated about this for a long time let me know what your opinions are bc obviously these are headcanons!!

return to nsfw alphabet series masterlist

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

despite his “mr cool popular guy” exterior i think he would be a very gentle lover and thus great at after care. after sex, he’ll lay down with you for a little, gently stroking your cheek while you catch your breath. after he’ll grab two wash cloths, one cold one to wipe your forehead to help you cool down, one warm to wipe down your legs and what not and ofc water so you can rehydrate. once you’re both clean, he’ll slip a new shirt on you and you’ll cuddle while he gives you little kisses all over your face

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

on him his hands!! they’re long and slender and surprisingly pretty soft. loves when you mindless play with them, or better yet when you suck on them

your hips/thighs/legs!!!!! doesn’t matter where you guys are he’ll wanna attach himself to you in any sort of way. standing? hand on your hip. sitting, you bet one of his hands is running up and down your thigh giving it a squeeze every one in awhile!!!!

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

since he’s all about aftercare he doesn’t mind getting messy so he likes to cum on your tummy and spread it around, making a mess out of you and telling you how pretty you look :-)

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

when you’re not looking, he steals one of your panties to take back to his apartment with him. it happens so often that he probably has a collection at this point and you’re confused bc you keep running out of underwear lmao

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

has probably had a few casual partners before you, but nothing that’s lasted too long. knows the basics of how to get a girl off (and where the clit is thank god)

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

missionary but likes to have your legs over his shoulders. that way he can grip your thighs and fuck into you nice and deep and see your fucked out expression

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

definitely more serious. maaaaybe if something out of the ordinary happens he’ll try to make a joke out of it but that’s usually not the case

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

not bare, but not unkempt. probably trims it every once in awhile so it doesn’t get too wild

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

romantic!! will kiss you along the jawline and tell you how pretty you look all fucked up just for him. whispers sweet nothings in your ear and just makes you feel super loved and appreciated. unless he’s super needy or in a rush then he’ll literally just fuck you without saying much

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

asked you if he could record the two of you having sex on multiple occasions so now he has an album full of photos and videos of you to use when you’re not available

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

oikawa has an inferiority complex and although i think he’s learned how to control how he compares himself to others, it’s still there just not as prominent. so basically he loves anything that gives him a good confidence boost but top 3 are probably:

praise (receiving). this one is kind of obvious given the above but anything that tells him you’re having a good time. telling him how good it feels, moaning, clenching around him, tugging on his hair

i could definitely even see some power play. he loves it when you’re all desperate for him to fuck you but he won’t give it to you bc he’s milking the fact that he’s in control and you can’t do anything about it

going hand in hand with power play, bondage. likes to watch you struggle while you’re tied up just begging him to fuck you. knowing that he’s in control is a MAJOR ego booster

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

i don’t think he has a particular favourite. as long as it’s private enough and the two of you are comfortable that’s good enough for him

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

when you tell him that he’s the only person that can make you feel good. making the first move. confidence!! booster!! will take you right then and there

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

degradation (receiving). again with the whole inferiority thing i think he can’t let go of his pride and it’s just something he’d rather not bring into the bedroom.

threesomes. doesn’t wanna share you with anyone else or feel like someone else is making you feel better than he does

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

its probably 50/50 for him mainly because he has power in both positions. likes when you go down on him bc he can grab a fistful of your hair and control the pace. also thinks you look pretty when tears are streaming down your face while you’re basically choking on his dick

ask him to and he will go d o w n on you. wraps his arms around your thighs to lock you down and will just lap at your arousal until you cum but he won’t stop bc he enjoys your squirming and begging

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

will ask you what you want but is usually slow and sensual. like i said before he likes to make you feel loved, so he takes his time with you

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

doesn’t mind them but also not his favourite. he’ll go for a quickie if he has to but rather take his time with you

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Down for whatever you are, as long as you feel comfortable and you guys have a safe word in place

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

LOTS AND LOTS OF STAMINA. I think this goes for basically any haikyuu character just because they have to keep their fitness in check. Definitely can go for at least 3+ rounds if you can keep up. may need a small break in between but not long

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

probably something like handcuffs, and maybe a vibrator or two but prefers to use his own skills to get you off

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

lots!! will do shit like kiss your neck while you’re doing something simple like washing the dishes and pretend he didn’t when you look at him. or brush his fingers along your thighs when your shirt is a little too short and then tell you its YOUR fault for wearing that

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

not like freakishly loud, but not quiet either. probably close to speaking volume cause he wants you to know how good you feel. some grunting, and moaning, likes to say your name and swears a lot when he’s about to cum

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

when you guys meet up after being apart for a particularly long time, he’ll set up a bubble bath for you guys complete with rose petals and candles. he’ll turn on the weekend or a similar artist and you guys will just relax in the tub, drinking wine and catching up, stealing kisses here and there.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

definitely on the longer side, but girth wise is probably a little on the thinner side or average at best, definitely veiny

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

normal sex drive. with volleyball he’s learned to keep his emotions in check so it doesn’t interfere with his performance. but when you two are together he’s gonna wanna fuck at least once a day (with multiple rounds) before he has to leave you again

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

once after care is done, he’ll lay with you in his arms and cuddle you until you fall asleep. once he’s sure you’re asleep he’ll settle down before drifting off

#haikyuu smut #oikawa x reader #oikawa smut #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu scenarios #claras steamys #clara click clacks

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magnumdays · 4 years ago

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Magnum 3.15 - “Before the Fall”

1) Magnum being adorable and we getting some stuff from his past - love it! Bernardo seems like a great guy I can’t believe how much I want Magnum and Higgins going to his wedding next season. (It’s going on my season 4 Wishlist).

2) I guess I official completely hate Ethan now. Dude. Come on.

Side not on this, Perdie gave me lots of emotions with this scene and the whole “that’s not what I want!” I may now hate Ethan but I kinda just want him to say sorry and hug her and be all “I luv you and I’m not going to Africa” because crying Higgy just makes me so sad (but I also hate him now so I don’t want that but you know)!

Just look at my poor baby all teary eyed!

Second side note: how they gonna work this into “.... Ethan asks Higgins to join him on an extended trip for Doctors Without Borders just as Magnum starts to open up to other possibilities.” Like that’s a quick turn around from “I want to leave to get some time away from you because I don’t trust you”. I’m just saying...

3) third is a bit of a rant because Was the theme of this episode somehow “men do terrible things to women because they think it’s all about them and we’re supposed to feel sorry for them?“

Because we got a) girl hiking gets 'accidentally’ killed by her dad for investigating her best friend’s murder and not being willing to cover up the fact that b) her best friend was murdered by hiker girl’s brother for not returning his romantic feelings c) Juliet, after telling Ethan about her past gets ghosted for 24h then basically ‘I no longer trust you so I’m leaving’ by Ethan.

Juliet’s case is obviously not as bad. But they’re all is shown as sympathetic, we’re meant to feel bad for them because they killed/hurt these women. Sad music plays and it’s almost like we’re supposed to “get it”. Feel bad for him. And we do. But he killed his own daughter when she was trying to find justice for her best friend. I feel sadder for her.

It’s not cool to kill someone. Even if a woman rejects you, can’t keep a secret, kept too many… (or well, at least Ethan only stuck an emotional knife in Higgy’s heart. I mean I guess he’s allowed his feelings even if they’re kinda stupid.) And I know that wasn’t what they were saying but I still felt like everyone was so understanding to brother and the father.

At the same time I really ‘like’ that we have this double whammy of realistic ways/ reason women are killed by the men in their lives. Because fun fact for all my ladies out there if you’re going to get killed 64% out of 100% times it’s your husband, brother, father, boyfriend, date is going to be the killer. Good times. IDK if I’ve been on the tiktok ‘feminisms’ tag too long but this episode felt like it was kind of representative of “normal” guys killing women. Not serial killers, just a dad killing his own daughter on accident because he was trying to protect his son.

4) I guess actual theme of the episode was more like “people will not act the way you expect them to because we got a lot of layers and in the end it’s the people we care about the most that hurt us but also help us grow and change” with TC asking Shammy to pilot for him and him freaking a bit over that and both Rick/TC being a little hurt but then understanding, Magnum pushing his uncle to tell him about his ‘true love’ and finding it was his mother and reacting to that and feeling betrayed but eventually figuring it out it’s OK and finally Juliet deciding to trust Ethan and that not really working out for her at all. Even the case, with it being the dead girl’s own brother and father fits in here.

5) The scene from the sneak peek turned out to maybe be my favorite of the episode

Like come on he’s all “Magnum’s been telling me all about how great you are” and she’s like “don’t believe a word of it”

I mean she’s super snarky, maybe a little bit more than how she’s been lately because she’s been a bit softer, (but I’m figuring know she’s a little extra prickly because of sharing secrets with Ethan the night before and him not taking it super well.) But I love them being snarky and bickering.

Uncle Bernardo knows what’s up!

I liked the “No way, we can handle it, Thomas has been looking forward to your visit for weeks” moment too.

She might be bantering and being her normal British Higgy self but she’s also really excited for Magnum to be getting to spend some time with family. Prepping the extra fancy room for him, coming to say hi when he first arrived, being all ‘no no you guys spend time we got this’ (because you know, gotta make sure to make a good impression on the future in-laws...)

Part of me wishes we’d gotten a little bit more of a Higgy talks about what she’s feeling with TC or Magnum. But at the same time that’s not her. Well, maybe with Thomas she might have but IDK, maybe it was best to save that for 3.16 and the ‘break up/ doctors without borders’ situation we’re about to find ourselves in...

(And is it because it was two weeks of missing my babies but is Higgy looking extra fine? Like even crying I’m like man she’s so hot! Did they change he eyebrows? New foundation? Also is her hair a little longer? IDK, I guess she’s just hot and I forgot...

(Speaking of hair, can we talk about the little side braid thing? Why do I love it so much?)

Yeah, over all I liked this episode.

Despite not that much Miggy and crying Juliet at the end. I do really apricate all the heart-eyes from Magnum lately.

Like we cannot go one scene or even a phone call without him just making me go ‘wow, if you looked up ‘guy in love’ in the dictionary, this is what you’d get’ because come on! Magnum and Higgy do feel a little bit more distant in 14+15 compared to 11-13.

Now all we have is a week of anxiety until the season finale and then a whole lot of waiting! Is it weird I both want it to be next week right this second and for it to be like a month from now because 3.16 is the last episode until the fall!

#Magnum PI #Magnum PI 3.15 #Miggy #Thomas Magnum #Juliet Higgins

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ifuckinglovestvincent · 4 years ago

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NY TIMES: St. Vincent Is Trying to Understand People

As she releases her sixth album, “Daddy’s Home,” the musician expounds on the lengthy documentaries, Janet Jackson bust and Joni Mitchell album that feed her creativity.

By Olivia Horn

May 4, 2021, 10:00 a.m. ET

Despite the hardships of the past year, Annie Clark’s sixth studio album came together with remarkable ease. “Maybe I earned a fun one,” Clark, who records under the name St. Vincent, mused. “Usually there’s some kind of ‘Dark Night of the Soul’ moment. And there just wasn’t.”

Clark, 38, spent much of 2020 shuttling between her home in Los Angeles and her family’s in Texas. But the record (“Daddy’s Home,” due May 14) was born at Electric Lady Studios in Manhattan, where she and her repeat collaborator Jack Antonoff landed on 1970s New York as their lodestar. The resulting songs ease away from the angular art-pop of “Masseduction” from 2017, opting for gentler, slouchier rock. The relative softness corresponds to Clark’s effort to treat the troubled, complicated characters that populate her record with care. Among them are the broke and lovelorn protagonist of the lead single “Pay Your Way in Pain,” Nina Simone, Marilyn Monroe and her own father, whose release from prison in 2019 inspired the title track.

Clark confessed that she did not meet her quarantine goals of learning conversational Italian or writing a tour bus cookbook, but she did read some books about the gulag. Calling from her “utilitarian” Los Angeles studio, she detailed 10 of her favorite things to watch, read and hear — many of her picks reflecting a fascination with history and an eagerness to unpack social and aesthetic violence. These are edited excerpts from the conversation.

1. William Scott Sculptures

I discovered William Scott’s work through David Byrne, at his place in New York. And when we were on tour with “Love This Giant,” we went to Creative Growth in Oakland [a nonprofit that supports artists with disabilities]. I had my eye on this bust of Janet Jackson. And then when I was back, I went and bought a bust of CeCe Winans. So I have these busts in my library.

A lot of the artists whose work I collect are people who are marginalized from society in one way or another. What I like about it is that the expression feels very pure. These are people who might not have all of the tools at their disposal or the education, or any of that, but they are compelled to make work. That kind of irrepressible urge in people — that I just find so inspiring and heartening and cool. And it’s completely divorced from any of the status of the quote, unquote, “art world.”

2. Adam Curtis’s Documentary Series “Century of the Self”

The way his work has been described is as emotional history or impressionistic history. The lines that he draws between events and trends are not exactly “A plus B equals C,” but the general thesis is like, “the collective consciousness is saying this.” As a writer, I’m always trying to understand systems and understand people.

3. Ric Burns’s “New York: A Documentary Film”

I used to live in a rent-controlled place in the East Village. But it was shady how I lived there, so I was never able to get utilities in my name. I lived there for 10 years and I didn’t have the internet, so I had DVDs. I used to go to Kim’s Video all the time and buy DVDs so when I would wake up hung over and be like, “Oh, just can’t quite make it out of bed today,” I would have something to put on. If I wanted to watch something it wasn’t like “Netflix and chill.” I associate that Ric Burns documentary with being either hung over or tired or both, and watching it in my bed.

4. Joni Mitchell’s “Hejira”

This is one of those Joni Mitchell records that I didn’t hear until I was in my early 20s. Everybody knows “Blue” and “Ladies of the Canyon,” but this is when I became a Joni Mitchell fan, with a capital F. This record’s just so deep. Her lyrics are … Cubist. I’m thinking of the one where she’s like, “In the mirrors of a modern bank/From the window of a hotel room.” And it’s all wiggles, you know? It’s like water, that record. And I don’t mean to make it about me, but I feel like I can understand some of the things that Joni talks about, like the refuge of the road, or watching the world from an airplane or being in a hotel room.

5. Maggie Nelson’s “The Art of Cruelty”

This is one of those books that I picked up six times and would get through a few pages and be like, “This is really brilliant,” but it felt impenetrable at first. Then I had this one weekend where the clouds parted, and I just could see it and plowed through it. It talks about the ethics of being an artist in a way that is so brilliant, and so not orthodox or finger wagging. I think it’s one of those books you can revisit at various points of your life.

6. Her Own STV Signature Series Guitar

Part of it was inspired by Klaus Nomi’s tuxedo. And I wanted it to hit my sternum in a particular way. I am cis female, so the way that it hits the sternum and then has a little bit of a cutaway, it makes room for my breast. But just one of them. There’s only room for one! I love it. It’s the only electric that I play, with very rare exception.

I saw people’s pictures of it from the Met [in the exhibition “Play It Loud: Instruments of Rock & Roll”], because I never got a chance to go and see it in real life. Most of the time, I just kind of like quietly put my head down and work — and then every once in a while, I look up and see something that I’ve made, and it’s mysterious that it’s in the world.

7. Wim Wenders’s “Pina”

I love Pina Bausch’s work. I was really inspired by “The Rite of Spring,” where the virgin dances herself to death. There’s this one particular movement that was like, drawing your hand above your head, and then when you pull it down, your elbow goes into your stomach — sort of like you’re open and then you’re impaling yourself. It just moved me to tears. So when I worked with my friend Annie-B Parson to choreograph the Digital Witness Tour, I was like, “Can we please incorporate this?” Another big thing: I was obsessed with falling. That was another big part of the Bausch work. How do you fall and make it look violent but not hurt yourself? I’d get a rehearsal room with Annie-B and just practice falling.

8. Vintage RCA 77-D Microphone

It’s an old ribbon mic, and it just sounds so good and warm. I know these are words that might not mean that much — when people describe sound as warm, it’s reductive. But it makes things sound and feel true. I don’t mean that it has perfect fidelity. What I mean is that when you sing into this microphone, what comes back at you feels honest. My friend Cian Riordan, who mixed “Daddy’s Home,” hipped me to this mic.

9. “Hidden Brain” Podcast

There was one recently about the idea of honor culture. You know, if someone is insulting someone’s masculinity and masculinity is tied up with honor, you have to avenge that insult. A lot of these “honor societies” end up with more violence because you have to save face and there’s less ways to assimilate conflict. The premise of so much of “Hidden Brain” is that we live by the stories we tell ourselves. And as a storyteller, that idea is very liberating to me, because if we live by the stories we tell ourselves, it means that when we get new information, we can assimilate that information and tell ourselves new stories.

10. Piazza della Signoria in Florence

The first time I was there was with my mom and sisters. I remember just walking through this piazza and having a wonderful time and wonderful conversation, and really being awe-struck by the architecture and the history, and just that life was beautiful. Another time, a number of years later, I was on tour with David Byrne and we had our last show in Florence, and I remember walking through with band members and then having the best dinner of my life after. It’s one of those places where, at very pivotal points of my life, I’ve been there and only beautiful things have happened to me.

#st vincent #annie clark #interviews #i like when interviews/articles contain lil nugs no one has heard about before #such as this one with the shady living situaish in the rent controlled apt #and KIM’S VIDEO #WHICH I ALSO WENT TO WHEN I LIVED IN NY #I feel like we’d always go there to get weird obscure hard to find movies #also:#re:re: ‘warm’ think the term she is looking for is ‘like butter on tiddies’#’WELL ITS WARM’#are those m&ms ive done those #nice brain btw #🦦

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snapefiction · 4 years ago

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Someone who appreciates me Pt. 1 - Snapefiction

A/N: Hey! Thank you to everyone who supports my writing. I just recently reached 200 Followers after not even full two Months of starting this Blog and I couldn't be happier that you enjoy my writing. In hopes that you'll like this one too! x

(I tried to use gender neutral Pronouns and Descriptions at first but sadly lost the track of it so it slipped back to a fem!Reader. I'm sorry, I am trying to learn and do better next time.)

❤️ Please remember that English isn’t my native language and that my Writings will include Mistakes and maybe weird formed sentences. ❤️

Pairing: Severus Snape x Y/N, Severus Snape x fem!Reader

Setting: 3-4 Years after the Battle of Hogwarts

Warnings: Mentions of Insults

Word count: 2871

Y/N - Your Name, Y/L/N - Your Last Name, Y/W/A - Your wished Age, Y/B/M -Your Birthday Month

Someone who appreciates me - Pt. 1

,,Dear Professor, As you may know Minerva can be very consistent of certain things. One of these Certain Things seem to be the fact that we both are (if all my given Informations are correct) not currently in a relationship. I do not want to pressure you to read my letter or even answer it but i´d be very thankful if you’d at least let Minerva know about what your intentions are. Since a long time now- to be exact 7 Months and 3 days - she started to play my personal Matchmaker and I’m very sorry that you seem to be chosen by this fate that she gave us as well. So by Merlins Sake I’m going with her wish in hope Minerva may be Satisfied by it.

My Name is Y/N Y/L/N. I´ m currently working for the Ministry but will be switching to the St. -Mungos Hospital soon to continue to work as a Healer. I am Y/W/A years old and will be turning Y/W/A on Y/B/M. I live near the Diagon Alley. I despite the idea of introducing myself to someone else like I just did. It feels like I am exposing myself.

In my free time -which has gotten very rare over the years - I enjoy reading, drinking tea and going on walks. It’s not very much, actually it’s nothing, but it makes me happy. I’m a simple Woman.

Since this is the most awkward Thing I have done in a while i will end this letter down here. In hopes that you’re well and have a great day.

Yours sincerely Y/N YL/N”

Sighing he turned the Letter to look at the sealing. It must’ve sent directly from their workplace as they even used the official seal from the ministry itself for this use. He had to admit that he was lonely. Very indeed but Minerva was taking it too far by now. She tried to set him up a few times yet but he never really went with it. But now that she persuaded another Person to send him a letter directly to his workplace he was fed up. Pity grew in his stomach as he imagined what Minerva must’ve said about him to the other Person. She was always exaggerating about him, his past life and everything from the present. She mothered and did everything to fuss over him since he was a Student at Hogwarts himself and yes, he had to admit it, he liked it sometimes. Enjoying their annual Tea each Sunday it was alright having her as a Friend. Especially after the Dark Lord passed and he finally got rid of the pressure of hiding. But her well trained skill to brew a perfect tea won’t make up that she tried to play a constant matchmaker for him.

A deep Sigh left his throat as he sorted his Thoughts. Whatever he’d try to say would lead to a discussion about why she wants him to meet that Person so dearly. It was always a repeating scheme. Getting up from the wooden Chair which could need a replacement he took the letter in his one hand before heading to her chambers.

The Parchment burned in his Hands. Deciding on how he’d like to drop the bomb that he’d prefer to stay alone he kept walking faster. To be honest, he would never admit that towards Minerva nor anyone else and not even himself, he loved the idea of founding a family. He always imagined it as a great Joy since his own family was rather a decent disaster. But he knew what the Newspaper wrote about him after he survived, he knew what rumours go around at the Ministry, he knew how People still degraded him and how everyone secretly was checking twice if he wasn’t secretly still a death eater. He knew, felt and saw it everyday. So it just wasn’t meant to be for him to become the man he dreamt about in private. Maybe i should go back to Cokeworth, get a dog and dedicate my life to the science.

Before he could continue his daydream of vanishing from his current world he reached the door leading to Minerva´s private rooms. Knocking he already knew she was there because the heat from inside and the smell of tea already reached his nose.

After a few seconds he heard her mumbling and finally opening the shrieking door.

,,Severus, my dear. What is it?“ A warm smile formed on her face. He just tried to keep his cold face as he hoped it’d get him further in the argument that he tried to start to prove his point. Silently holding up the Parchment he pointed the wax seal directly towards her.

,,Is it from Y/N?" Her eyes shined brightly and she was already asking him inside as her hands took the letter and she moved her tall figure aside to let him in.

,,Of course it is." He mumbled while making his way over to his usual seat. Watching her reaction as she read the Letter he wished to vanish. It was simply embarrassing.

,,Oh, she can't be serious. I told her to tell you something about herself."

,,She did!" He pleaded.

,,No she didn't! She just talked about me. Oh! The two of you match perfectly. You both are very self conscious about what you are and what you deserve or in general on how to communicate." She went to the kitchen to get kettle.

,,You're just mad that we don't want to play along with your plans." Mumbling Severus knew that she heard every whisper.

,,No you're just mad that I told her about you." Rolling his eyes he watched her setting down the kettle and filling him a cup of tea.

,,I don't need a Relationship." Stating his Fact he hoped it could bury the Topic finally.

,,I know. But it wouldn't harm you as well." Taking a sip from the still brewing water tea mixture he wondered how she wasn't burning herself.

,,Can you just stop setting those things up?" Now it was her who rolled their eyes. ,,Only if you give it one first and one last try. Y/N is very kind."

,,Kindness isn't everything. Her Letter wasn't very tempting."

,,Merlin, if you start judging people over their Kindness I'll lose my mind. You aren't very charming yourself, you twit."

,,You call me a Twit?"

,,You're clearly a Twit."

,,Stinky Witch." Shrugging her shoulder she hid her smile behind her cup of tea before downing it almost completely. ,,One date and I'll stop for good."

,,Do you promise?"

,,I solemnly swear. If this won't work out then you might be a helpless case." Ignoring her spur he gave in. Again.

,,Fine." And so it came that he drank his tea and they chatted about something else. Their Friendship had their own charm. But before Severus could leave to go back to his own Rooms Minerva put the Parchment in his Hands and told him with a warm smile to write back.

It didn't work out like he planned. Actually it was the opposite. He wanted to burn the Letter and forget that it had happened but if it was the only way to get rid of any unwanted dates, matches etc. he would actually give it a chance. Unbelievable. He'd really write Y/N back.

Since it was almost midnight he decided that it was time to continue his paperwork. He couldn't fall asleep until three A.M. anyways if he was able to fall asleep in general. After answering a lot of Letters, correcting some Works and finally writing down what he had to get from his next visit at Diagonal Alley he couldn't stop his mind from wandering to his new acquaintance living there. Wasn't she repelled by his ruined reputation?

Rereading her Letter he was wondering what a type of person she was. How did she look like? What made Minerva think that they'd be a great Match? In his Mind he was starting to puzzle a picture of someone he'd expect to write to. Of what he'd expect someone nice to be and act like. To his surprise it wasn't anything close to Lily. Not at all. It was almost the completely opposite. Bewildered he laid down his feather. He almost hasn't noticed how he started to mindlessly write all the attributes down that he was hoping to find in Y/N.

Nice but not foolish. Intelligence. A dry sense of humor. Challenging. Special. Complementary. Appreciative. Pretty Eyes. A soothing voice. Someone who appreciates work. Someone who appreciates me?

Eyeing the Clock he noticed that it was already past 4 am. Again he was completely loosing his track of time. Packed by the idea of finding something of those attributes in her he grabbed a paper and his feather.

His enthusiasm quickly faded. What was he supposed to say? What did she knew about him? His wide eyes and his raised eyebrows scaled down a bit. This grew to be more complicated than he anticipated.

,,Y/N, I'm sorry that Minerva grew this Mania about you as well. I have known her for a long time by now and can confirm to you that despite all her promises she won't stop setting things up. It seems like it became one of her dearest ways of passing time.

Not knowing of what she has told you about my person I will just start formally.

My Name is Severus Snape. Currently I am still preoccupied as the head of house of Slytherin at Hogwarts. And due to latest events I won't return to teaching soon or anytime again. Most of my time I look out to keep myself busy with science studies, working and reading.

To be completely honest, I promised Minerva to write back as she promised me in return to stop setting any acquaintance with me. Also I feel uncomfortable introducing myself as well. I prefer Meetings.

Yours faithfully Severus Snape"

After his eyes read the letter multiple times he finally got himself to seal it. Watching the wax cool down he noticed how much he hoped that she could at least fulfil on of the attributes he was looking for. Hope? Don't make a fool out of yourself. She will probably loose her interest soon.

But she didn't. He sent his Letter around 4:50 am and already at 8am after he slept 2 full hours she sent her response. Not truly believing his eyes that Y/N was answering and not someone who would want to mess with him he quickly opened it. This Time the Seal was a different one. One that contained her Initials.

,,Dear Severus, Taking it from your response I anticipate that we are on first name base now? If that's so completely fine with that.

Reading your Letter I had to laugh. Minerva is simply one of a Kind and somehow I feel very reliefed that you're as uncomfortable as I am.

Maybe that's a great opportunity to admit that I already know a lot about you. Minerva is very chatty and as you probably already are aware of your Name is very well known and greatly appreciated. And by that I don't mean that that's the Reason why I decided to write you but I mean that I'm impressed by you. I actually chose to follow Minerva's will to contact you because she introduced you as a very kind, intelligent and somewhat funny Man. And despite the fact that I am happy by being alone I can't deny that the idea of meeting someone like you was interesting me. Someone who Minerva introduced as a great Friend. This may sound cheesy but you deserved to get known to my intentions.

You mentioned that you prefer Meetings. What about a Meeting at the Three Broomsticks? I bet you know a lot funny stories about Minerva which I'm not aware of yet. Name a Time and Day and I'll be there. And if it makes you more comfortable- you can decide if it's as friends or if you want to call it a date. As I already said I'm mainly interested in getting known to you.

I hope you'll have a successful Morning and i'm expecting your Owl.

Yours sincerely Y/N YL/N"

That wasn't like anything he expected. She wasn't disgusted by everything he did? She wanted to meet him? He thought that she'd politely decline and he'd get rid of all the fuss but she actually sounded nice. Should he give in?

Some time has passed since he received her letter. To be exact four days and nights. Severus told himself that he had gotten busy in hopes this could ease his guilty Feelings. But Minervas Questions wouldn’t stop and he had to make the decision he was shoving back for too long. He just wanted to end that Matchmaking Service and now it had gotten him to the point where he was too nervous to answer a simple letter after the Person openly admitted their interest in him.

Hoping for someone to take the Decision which now laid heavy on his shoulders he wandered around the corridors. His duties for the day have been already done by now and he was just looking for a task to get his mind of the Woman’s Name. He was too nervous to answer, way to nervous. It was nice to get known to someone, yes. But it was too early for him. He hasn’t recovered yet and still felt hurt from his past. Who could blame him? No one. Right? Slowly he started to feel better. Like it was a great opportunity to back off and make this another awkward Memory he had in one of his many brain cells. He won’t answer her. That’s it.

Feeling some Weight flowing off his shoulders he reached his Chambers. He should at least answer Harry. Since he had graduated two and a half years ago he still checked up on him. It simply was his promised duty to do so. Thinking of Questions to ask Harry about his new Life as a Auror and about his Girlfriends Ginny Weaslys as a Professional Quidditch Player he grabbed some Parchment and took his Feather. Dipping it into the small ink Pot he had to notice it was empty. Annoyed he took the List he had put in his drawer in his hands. Diagon Alley, was written on it. Tea, Ink, a new Book and some Parchment.

,,Dunderhead.“ He called himself as he again rolled his eyes. He had forgot to get his supplies. That one Task had slipped off his mind. Annoyed and grumpy as always he gritted his teeth while grabbing his Coat and using his Cabin to reach named Diagon Alley. Slighty coughing he scrunched his nose. As Years have passed he grew to hate using Floo Power.

Diagon Alley was shining. Lights from every Window invited Passengers into their Shops. But Severus wasn’t the Man to just go shopping and buying random Things. He was organised. So Organised that a simple Woman who showed slight interest in him could get him off his tracks. Ironic. He worked Years as a spy and now a simple Letter did this to him.

His Feet lead his set route to the Shop where he got the Parchment and some ink and afterwards to the Teashop. The last station was the Book Shop. It was the only stage where he was spending an unknown amount of time each time he got there. Words always had a big impact on him. Of course Actions were important too but it are words who seduce him easily.

That’s why he was carrying his now heavy bag through the huge aisles of Books trying to find a new object of Desire. He was very fond of almost every Herbalism, Potion and Healing Book so it had to be something new. His Position as Head of house was boring him. He needed something to do. So he decided to focus his energy on Books and as already mentioned Science.

Opening a smaragd green book he followed some lines about Muggles. Even though he never found himself very intertwined in this Topic he gave it a chance. The fact of how well written and even advanced it was was interesting him. Putting it in his little Basket he continued to decipher the Book Titles. Death Omens: What to Do When You Know the Worst is Coming. Taking it in his Hands he way eyeing it closely.

,,I hope you aren’t expecting anything bad, Professor Snape. That's a dangerous Book.“ Caught he quickly looked to his side. A young Woman was smiling nervously at him. Confused he tried to remember her. Was she a Student? A former Death eater? Merlin, no. She was too young to be a death eater.

,,Y/N.“ Her cheeks blushed now and she lowered her glance shortly. ,,Y/N Y/L/N. I thought it might be not very polite if I wouldn’t even say hello since we somehow know each other.“ Getting lost in her eyes he quickly forgot his Plan on to stop thinking about her and not writing her back.

to be continued. last update 30.jan.21

Taglist: @deepperplexity , @monstreviolet , @wow-life-love4 , @lizlil , @once-upon-an-imagine , @darkthought15 , @elizabeth-baelish , @looseheartedlady , @ithinkweallsing , @simpforsnape

Let me know if you want to be added to my Taglist. :)

#Severus snape #snape #Severus Snape x reader #Severus Snape x y/n #snape x reader #snape x y/n #prosnape #snapefiction #my writing

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