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rainingincale · 2 months ago

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#You got a fast car I want a ticket to anywhere Maybe we make a deal Maybe together we can get somewhere Any place is better Starting from #zero got nothing to lose Maybe we'll make something Me myself I got nothing to prove You got a fast car I got a plan to get us outta here I #been working at the convenience store Managed to save just a little bit of money Won't have to drive too far Just 'cross the border and into #the city You and I can both get jobs And finally see what it means to be living See my old man's got a problem He live with the bottle #that's the way it is He says his body's too old for working His body's too young to look like his My mama went off and left him She wanted #more from life than he could give I said somebody's got to take care of him So I quit school and that's what I did You got a fast car Is it #fast enough so we can fly away? We gotta make a decision Leave tonight or live and die this way So I remember when we were driving #driving in your car Speed so fast it felt like I was drunk City lights lay out before us And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder #And I-I had a feeling that I belonged I-I had a feeling I could be someone be someone be someone You got a fast car We go cruising #entertain ourselves You still ain't got a job And I work in the market as a checkout girl I know things will get better You'll find work and #I'll get promoted We'll move out of the shelter Buy a bigger house and live in the suburbs So I remember when we were driving driving in #your car Speed so fast it felt like I was drunk City lights lay out before us And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder And I-I had #a feeling that I belonged I-I had a feeling I could be someone be someone be someone You got a fast car I got a job that pays all our bills #You stay out drinking late at the bar See more of your friends than you do of your kids I'd always hoped for better Thought maybe together #you and me'd find it I got no plans I ain't going nowhere Take your fast car and keep on driving So I remember when we were driving driving #in your car Speed so fast it felt like I was drunk City lights lay out before us And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder And #I-I had a feeling that I belonged I-I had a feeling I could be someone be someone be someone You got a fast car Is it fast enough so you can #fly away?You gotta make a decisionLeave tonight or live and die this way #le song shouting

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crossbackpoke-check · 4 months ago

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Dysprosium, Mary Soon Lee

dysprosium, AN 66, is a silvery-white rare earth metal. its name is derived from the greek dysprositos, meaning “hard to get at”, owing to the difficulty in separating and isolating this rare earth element. dysprosium is used to measure neutron flux, to fuel reactors, and to activate phosphors. terfenol-d is a magnetorestrictive alloy, meaning that it changes shape when a magnetic field is applied, and is used to manufacture underwater acoustic systems.

jason “robo” robertson, dallas stars #21 for @simmyfrobby’s nhl periodic table poems <3

#i had a couple different ideas for poems that were taken by the time i could go deranged for a couple hours to make this but as I looked #i was like WAIT NONE OF YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE JASON ROBERTSON YOU HAVEN’T SEEN MY TEXAS CAM and had to do it. also was STRUCK with the #sudden immaculate vision of the Dallas D as part of terfenol-D and could not get it out & robo is the most dance! person i know on the team #liv in the replies #dallas stars #jason robertson #nhl periodic table poems #guys i am plagued with visions and no execution skills!! every day i come here and learn one new skill on GIMP the way god intended!!!#today it was emboss. also cannot claim any credit for the pulse to the magnetic beat photo which is so cool that was one where i had a #couple and was like maybe i can do like crayon shockwaves like the art process video kasper showed? and then found that picture and was #like thank you lord stanley for knowing my limitations. thank you for your understanding in this moment it was a trial enough to make #expand contract dance and one would THINK i would have fucking learned from the claude animorphs tragedy!! i did not. but i did use the #shear tool and 3D rotate so at least if we’re animorphing it’s SLIGHTLY better. anyway me frantically doing this like WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT #WAIT FOR ME YOU GUYS ARE SO FAST i keep seeing all of these and just spinning around in circles until i get dizzy & fall down I’m so happy #the drive folder for this is just called joy!!!!! because joy this is such a cool idea but now because it brings me so much joy #i just saw the Travis dermott one and burst into tears super normal AND someone did exactly what i wanted with hydrogen which was the water #the ice!!!!! it’s so perfect!!! and cody ofc did silver lord stanley. like does it ever make you cry how beautiful & creative everyone is?#anyway if you see me post and delete this and then update it or change it no you didn’t it’s fine. but i wanted to be included #if i could make the dysprosium letters not have a white background i would I simply could not fuck with it at 1AM. we are hitting send #it may not look like it but i queue #pretend i spoke at length about the reasons why i picked all the pictures & the element just know that it’s there inside my brain u can ask #GUYS I TAKE IT ALL BACK I SAW NEONFRETRA’S ISOTOPES AND I COULD MAKE THE EDITS EVEN THOUGH THEY’RE THERE!! ISOTOPES!!!! YOU GUYS!!!!!!#get ready for the edits then. dylan magnesium my beloved child of stars who can never return… like i wish i could say anyone else but it’s #i KNOW number nineteens bismuth don’t make me Google how many years nolan played hockey but also there’s ej for stable so.. also half-life #actinium claude giroux my beloved… when i saw there already was a claude i thought maybe Brady too for that #I don’t know how but flerovium doubled magic is percolating in my brain as was promethium bad boy because I was like hmmm. tyler. but #couldn’t commit and THEN SOMEONE DID BAD BAD LEROY BROWN TYLER BERTUZZI TO PROMETHIUM AND BESTIE I AM KISSING YOU ON THE MOUTH!!! with cons #anyway shane wright germanium with juraj slafkovský but showing him very obviously not missing it. if jack eichel was not an asshole #the narratives WOULD be narrativing. you could argue for a sidovi here with the calder cup and potentially a best friend stealing narrative #(the most recent is cam yorke’s acquisition of jamie d from trevor zegras which would then require a yorkie one for silicon the other side)

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nerdie-faerie · 7 months ago

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Just when I think the day's going well, I crash a golf cart

#summer camp tag #ace is a mess #i do not have a drivers license and i havent even been behind the wheel in like 4 years since i stopped lessons cus of the pandemic #the day was going fine i got loads done didnt feel like i was irritating my director too bad #doing some paperwork for her and she says when im done well take the golf cart out while its not currently raining #im like ooh fun never been in a golf cart before i see the higher up staff in them im not gonna say no to chilling in a golf cart #i did not realise that meant i would be driving esp when she asked if id been in one before and i said no #she then asked if i could drive and i said not really thought that would be it #cus i was supposed to be studying for my theory before working towards my practical #but no she insists im driving and first off i gotta reverse outta this bay now at least i didnt have to think about gears #but i hate tryna figure out how to turn whilst in reverse in mess with my brain im not great with shape visualisation #we do all our stops its fine for the most part a lil too fast going down some of the hills #and some tight turns but my turns were always like that cus im too busy focusing on the most immediate thing #we get back i park fine and then shes like oh actually there are some more stops we can make so i reverse and turn back out #do our two stops with only minimal confusion about direction then as i go to park into the bay we came from #shes like oh actually park in the bay closest to the health centre and what i should have done was reversed and adjusted my angle #instead i drove directly into the supporting beam separating the two bays 🙃😭#i immediately turn the cart off and expect her to switch with me instead shes like laughing it off oh it was just a little bump it was fine #im like it was not that was a loud ass bang i feel so bad and then she lifts up the light cover i broke off saying its just a scratch #and i feel worse so pf course thats when the camp director comes out to check on the noise and i dont think ive ever worn a guiltier look #but theyre both laughing it off oh just having a little driving lesson :) and i am mortified #she gets back in the cart and shes still insisting that its fine and i should still park after that which i do with great trepidation #but there are no more problems and the lights still work but the cover does need fixing and i just oh my god #ive never crashed before never clipped or scratched a car so of course id crash the golf cart trying to park of all things 😭

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cacturne · 2 months ago

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1, 3, 6 and 8 for the situationship ask for vulture and morrigan. tell me about them pls (also any other situationship that comes to mind for a different oc i love situationships)

sadly as far as i know i do not have any other situationships (the crowd boos and i run off the stage crying) ANYWAY my bestfriends forever YES! Under the cut because it got long (shocker)

1. What made their relationship a situationship? Do they have their own reasons, or did they reach the same conclusion together?

All of it i think kind of spawned from them being at the right place at the right time together. Both of them forced onto a journey, both of them felt isolated to some degree from the rest of the group and Thedas for their own reasons, and ultimately that (and the whole uh ritual) gave them a unique bond they probably wouldn’t have had if the circumstances were different. They don’t understand each other for a long time, but even so they relate to the others place in the world and thus extend a hand.

The actual situationship doesn’t start until somewhere before Inquisition timeline wise, when they are reunited again after Morrigan fulfills her promise to Vulture. Honestly there was no one event that changed their friendship into something more, they just gradually became more comfortable around one another and started blurring the lines together. Both are aware that they’re now in a new area, but neither would acknowledge it. This is just what friends do, obviously.

Vulture’s reason for keeping it there is a fear of commitment. She never really felt ready for a relationship, even at her own wedding, and this feeling has stuck with her since. Now there’s just general anxiety around the thought, as if something might go wrong the minute she chooses to commit to someone or that she would not be a good partner to them. Combined with her already being happy like this she just does not want to complicate things.

Having a relationship like this is honestly really nice for Vulture, i think she’s personally the most okay of the two with keeping their friendship as is. She isn’t as antsy about possibly wanting to be more as Morrigan.

Morrigan has multiple reasons. The first is that she has to grapple with attraction to a woman (oh fuck!) which she then has to re-grapple with when they reunite years later and she finds out those feelings were not, in fact, a fluke. This reason is dealt with, however what’s not dealt with is that she sees love as a tactic. In her mind, them being friends shows her trust in Vulture, because if they were lovers it meant she had manipulated her into it one way or another. She has very much internalized a lot of the vitriol toward her and thus believes it best for the both of them to keep it like this.

All in all, the reasons may be different but they do reach the same conclusion together: a situationship is better for the both of them because it’s easy, because it doesn’t have the risk of destroying their friendship forever if either makes a wrong move or make them face uncomfortable feelings they fear they’d be forced to face were they to be more than that. They’re just good friends, and this is what good friends do.

3. What is the nature of their relationship? Does it border on romance? Is it closer to friends with benefits? Do they both think of it the same way?

Their situationship definitely borders on romance, it’s basically being friend married by the time Inquisition happens. It’s not like they’re kissing each other, but considering Vulture is being an excellent mother to her child i think friend married is still very much a good descriptor here. They semi-live together when Vulture establishes an abandoned cottage as home base while searching for a cure, with Morrigan visiting often to help out after re-connecting and even staying over when it gets late. Friend married.

While they wouldn’t call it friend married, just friends, i do think they view it the same. Though Vulture sees it much more as an endpoint than Morrigan, who sees it more as limbo.

6. Is their relationship exclusive? Are either of them open to something serious with another, or is this serious to them? If the answers differ, would this possibly create conflict?

They’re exclusive! They’re serious! It’s only a little embarrassing!

Vulture has no interest in romance, this situationship is an outlier that makes her uncertain about this stance but that doesn’t mean she’s suddenly cured. Morrigan is the only person she would see like this, so this is serious to her.

Morrigan isn’t interested in anyone else and only trusts Vulture, so this is serious to her, as much as she hates admitting it to herself.

8. Do they actually enjoy this relationship? Do they pine for something different? Is it unhealthy? Are they satisfied like this? Is this all they know?

Yes, they do enjoy it, but they aren’t really satisfied at the same time. If nothing were to change they would both be okay with that because they are already happy like this. They found a person they could trust wholeheartedly in each other, a lifelong friend, and ultimately that alone is enough for them. And yet there is always that “what if” floating above them, reminding them that they could be more if they just took that step.

Vulture i think would be okay not taking it, because she doesn’t really see her not taking that step as something bad. She’s still happy like this, perhaps not entirely satisfied but that’s not a bad thing. She’s still grateful to have a friend like this in the first place.

Morrigan, due to her reasons for not taking that step being related to much deeper issues, is ultimately less satisfied. She keeps telling herself this is better, and that she wants it like this anyway, but out of the two she is the most plagued by the “what if”. Of course she shoots it down at every opportunity with a variety of reasons, but it keeps coming back anyway. She is happy like this, it’s not like she’s begging for a relationship, but she also pines for more and hates it.

#asks #a-drama-addict #THANK YOU🫶#i feel like im really bad at conveying my thoughts about them it drives me nuts i hope they make sense i tried my bestest.#Its just that their entire thing is SO complex and i suck at explaining SO much so if theres contradictions.. im sorry #I feel like. I feel like what could hypothetically be said is “why all this hoopla she and the warden are basically married in inquisition”#And they are! And im happy for them! But a male warden is a fundamentally different relationship imo #It starts with her manipulating you. This then turns into real feelings she tries to turn away from and ultimately your male warden #Chases her down and convinces her to stop running because he loves her deeply #With vulture it starts with a strong friendship. This then turns into real feelings and morrigan again turns away from them #Not by running away physically this time but emotionally. And vulture doesnt chase it because she has the same thing #If vulture was as assertive as m!warden they could probably be in a relationship already but its!! Complicated!!#She isnt sure of what to do with her feelings or if theyre real and morrigan is afraid that her love is not love at all #Aauughh do you see it i could literally just keep talking in circles all day like a crazy person i feel like theres so many layers to it #And i cant put them into words at all. Except i love them your honor and while they wont get together they will be happy #Even if they wont be satisfied. But we will see maybe veilguard will open with morrigan going to therapy #So maybe the wedding will be back on LOL #Or she dies badly and vulture is going to be the saddest woman in thedas. I dunno we talk a lot about varric death flags buuut…#Morrigan is pretty prominent in the trailers too‼️‼️#ghosts ocs #oc: vulture tabris

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running-in-the-dark · 9 months ago

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I've got an appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow, and I'm getting my conch piercing swapped out for a shorter one. that's gonna be stressful 🙃

#annnd I will absolutely take my lorazepam for the second one... yeah it's unnecessary yeah it's dumb but. I'm SO scared #and I haven't even thought about taking any in ages. so it's alright and I don't mind #I will do things to make things I want to do but am scared of easier for myself so that I can do them at all #and that's fine #I'm so hoping she'll say the piercing is healing well... it doesn't hurt at all and I've been careful with it and I've cleaned it #(almost) every day like she said #but there's a bump and it still gets pretty gross and. well I'm just hoping it's fine 😬#I kinda keep going from 'I still want as many ear piercings as possible' to 'I don't want to get a piercing ever again in my life' and back #though at this point.... I'm thinking I definitely should not get any more in my left ear since it keeps being difficult (the slight hearing #loss and the tube and then I got a middle ear infection... maybe it'll eventually be fine again but right now it's not looking like it 🤔#but whatever maybe I'll get more in the right one. I could. if I wanted to. we will see 🤷)#also it suuucks that I now have to drive 30 minutes to get to my psychiatrist's office but I like him a lot so I will not look for a #different one #personal

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ragnars-tooth · 2 months ago

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One of my big compulsions is taking a fuck ton of screenshots Just In Case a piece of information is important in like 4 years and I can't remember it (sometimes the information is an instagram post that I might not remember later and of course needs to be recorded everywhere (I will Not be looking at that again)) so today is my transfer 16000 images off my phone admin day (woo)

Like yeah I never looked at any of them and they were completely irrelevant to my daily life, But what if I need them ✨️ later ✨️ (you'll see that the idea of Later is doing a lot of heavy lifting here) OR what if there's a vital piece of information in the mix somewhere that I'll lose forever if I delete them? So: onto the external hard drive they go

This is one of those cases where. Yeah. Ideally I wouldn't take 16000 screenshots in half a year. And YEAH ideally I'd just delete them and not transfer them somewhere else to never look at again. BUT at least I get a clean slate and I can maybe not mindlessly save everything for 2 seconds. It's like. Small wins? Progress. Yknow.

#rangnar rambles #i also use my tumblr drafts this way which is how i have probably 2000 drafts for this blog that are just? like me saving a post for 'later #and then theres too many in my drafts for me to even find *MY* drafts #i need to just hard reset the draft function bc its literally unusable for me #'matt this is all irrational and weird' by god. my irrational thoughts disorder makes me do weird shit? are you fr rn??? 😨😨#i get so stupidly in my own head and then i dont make progress towards Anything #even like a fun sideblog where i can actually yknow. post that 2k nightmare? i just cringe myself out like a dumbass 😔#i feel like ocd thoughts always sound lame out loud (and in my head to myself too)#like the Urgency doesnt come across #like in the moment i am Completely convinced that my national insurance number and bank deets are in there somewhere #and theres suddenly no way on earth i could ever find them again if i delete the picture. so to the hard drive they go #i Would go through that whole thing if i suddenly needed a screenshot from 2019 btw. like the crazy isnt theoretical #ive hallucinated gas leak smells before and woken up my flatmates bc i couldnt convince myself i was over reacting #its just cus the seasons have changed that everythings ramping up but omg its hard to do anything but spiral nowadays #thats a little dramatic but i am losing like. a quarter of the day to my ocd #its like. not great 😬#im not back to convincing myself i gave my dad cancer but i am not letting myself use half the kitchen again #but eh soo la voo we ball #HAH i checked my drafts after this and i was lowballing so hard #5.7k on this blog. 12k on my main 💀. its not funny but it kind of is #this is why youll never catch me running a queue #this is such a miserable post but i do feel the need to not let it sit in the drafts pile. to prove the point i guess 💀💀💀#'no one gives a shit this is your blog' 'oh my GOD WHAT IF PEOPLE GIVE A SHIT' <- omg shut upppp youre so embarassing 🙄#one more time for the gallery: i am like. aware that these feelings are irrational. like i am fine it just takes time for reality to kick in #ANYWAYS what was that who said that that was so weird im gonna go look at old romantic era paintings now #if tam is a screenshot fiend in the next fic u know what happened

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choking-on-roses · 3 months ago

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I am so used to being an afterthought in everyone's lives that if someone came along who put genuine effort into spending time with me, like truly just wanted to hang out with me and made time to do it, I would probably 1) break down sobbing and 2) immediately fall in love with them

#i have never had anyone who would put effort into coming to see me except my grandpa #when i moved to a university 1 hour away nobody in my family OR the person i was dating ever came to see me #even though nobody in my family had a full-time job at the time.#grandpa was the only one who would drive out to take me to lunch for my birthday #he died before i graduated though #anyway....#this has been triggered by me going to visit my 'friends' in the city i moved away from in March #i was there for four years and I asked a person i considered a genuine friend if she wanted to join me for a nice dinner #which i would be paying for btw. it's free for her #but she lives a 40 minute drive away so she said no thank you #like girl i haven't seen you in months and you can't make a 40 minute drive to come have a nice dinner and catch up?#i just don't fucking get it. and this happens to me over and over and over again #there is just nobody in my life who will make any fucking effort to see me #i once made plans with friends for my birthday and tried to make it in a convenient spot for everyone #we had these plans scheduled for months and one canceled the night before because he thought our other mutual friend wasn't coming #IT WAS *MY* BIRTHDAY. YOU COULD STILL COME. TO SEE ME??#like is there something wrong with me? does everyone secretly hate me or something?#i wish i fucking mattered to someone. anyone.#personal

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6mayhem · 2 months ago

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anyway i need to hang out with my brother again he is the one person who i am pretty sure knows literally everything about me so he's the only person i trust that i can absolutely not disappoint. nothing i can do could be worse than the sum of everything i've been doing to that poor man (and him to me) the past 19 years

#especially now that im back into literally the only interest we actually share on a deep enough level to enjoy it together LOL #i mean we were also both into hannibal but thats just not an enjoyable show to watch together its too much effort #but wow that time we read das boot slash fanfic on the bus together that was awesome #and the time we wrote fanfic together lol LITERALLY WHY DID WE STOP #he has only gotten cooler and more comfortable with his gayness since then we need to write fanfic again ‼️#anyway i feel sorry for every person in my life but i dont think anyone ill ever know could ever have as close a relationship to me as him #were platonic soulmates lol but like not in the spiritual sense bc its pretty obvious that its not some supernatural bond #its juuuust shared trauma haha and the fact that our trauma is so complex and layered that only we will ever truly understand each other #there has been a really rough patch where we practically did not talk for 4... 5? whole years im serious. maybe on the weekends sometimes #while we were stewing in our own shit. but now were inseperable i think it actually pisses off the rest of our family because every time #theres some event where we meet again (we live like 5 hours apart) we only hang around for like an hour before we get in his car #and drive somewhere and hang out there for the rest of the day and night and only return at like 3am drunk #in a sense i guess were catching up on all the missed time #to be honest we both had some horrible shit going on in our heads me with the transgenderism and toxic relationship #him with his anger issues and (what he calls) psychopathy. like ill say this much he was not a good person as a child he was a devil #he was quite literally what some describe as born evil like u know those satans spawns kids that cut off babys fingers and dissect rabbits #all that yk. and i was his first and most frequent victim due to availability lol and my parents did not know any of it and if they did #they ignored it. so yeah u can imagine the relationship was a little strained and for a long time i lived in fear of him #also due to all the death threats and attempts on my life HAHA its kinda funny because i can say all this all detached now #but i think to anyone else this sounds mad as hell. like im not talking roughhousing or being mad at each other #he was always scarily calm and hyperintelligent he was actually diagnosed with some form of like super high intelligence that #makes kids capable of being really manipulative and thats what he used at every turn. everything was always calculated that was scary #if he was nice to me i would question if he was trying to lure me somewhere to hurt me yk?#anyway. sometimes those old thoughts come back when were hanging out alone but mostly i know hes changed and worked on himself #sorry oversharing oh wow

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beatcroc · 11 months ago

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listen. i love pizza tower with my whole heart & mind. you know this. you Know. but first and foremost i am a character design bitch, and the pizzas are, frankly, very bland. this is not a critique or a complaint, because obviously That's Not The Point and more importantly i would be horrified if anyone tried doing that much animation with anything more complex than what's there. but also it means when i get a taste of some truly whack ass insane design work again it is like fuuuucking catnip

#ive been DEPRIVED......#pizza business is on hiatus i need to play lethal league for 50 hours and make a surely ill-fated cosplay about it #it really is unfortunate fake pep could have been a fun cosplay for the way i wanted to go about it #but for all the schematics i had sketched out it was never a thing i wanted to get up and actually try to Make #and then i wake up the next day after playing llb once and go like oh. ohhhhhh. i need to be doombox irl #and because of that realizing. oh that was misplaced idle thoughts before; i never actually wanted to do fp for real #i was just on that train bc 1. very passionate about the game obviously [and he was kind of my only option to rep pt] and 2.#i think it was a lot of leftover inertia from my PREVIOUS cosplay idea [baozhai from indivisible] that i also never pursued #lots of Makin Stuff drive still existing but not having a place to go.#fp was certainly more doable than baozhai so it was easy to latch on but #still not....really the kind of thing i actually Enjoy making #this one though. ohgghhgh i feel it. i feel the cosmos #i still dont think i'm actually going to complete it. the current projection is that i just make a shitty prototype and then #realize how impossible and unfun this is gonna be and then drop it. [but its fine bc i still got to make stuff and got the idea out]#however. that first pizza comic was also originally a single-image prototype to get the idea across bc #i didn't think i would actually draw out that whole thing either.#so i guess we'll just see what happens. now won't we.#poor fuckin noisette comic 2 man i put it off for so long and then finally get into it and then this happens #ill get back on it eventually this is just something i have to indulge while i have it and get it out of my system #its like evangelion. sometimes you have to write 8k words of analysis. and sometimes you gotta make a really stupid cosplay #anyway hey i should post the fp cosplay schematics huh. i meant to back when i first did them but then didnt. whoops #bweeeaaahh

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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago

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...

#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog #didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move #across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s #so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help #with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the #location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright #colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird #like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the #southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December #it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but #i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and #jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen #im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and #the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier #for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy #but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked #up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents #r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes #better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book #like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭#so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-]#unrelated

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thetangibleghost · 2 months ago

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I've always wanted to wake up from a dream laughing and I just did but I realized after I woke up that I have missed a million social cues :((((((((((((((((( it wasn't even funny idk why I couldn't stop giggling. I dont even giggle irl.

#this also may have been a separate dream #i was in this big aquarium swimming and walking around. it was like. you could swim in a lot of the exhibit and interact with the animals #i had some sort of mission and i also found a baby seal who i picked up and was carrying around as i wandered around #eventually i ended up in this little nook that had one of the adult seals/walrusess? so i let the baby go but the adult was not into it and #i heard someone day something like “aw he still has hope”#theres this kid that works at the aquarium and i tell him to come with me for some reason. its around this time i realize this is some movie #the kids boss is like “next time you leave your post you gotta dive out”#and im worried a bit allready sbout him leavin his post with the adult walrus up there.#then suddenly the glass starts breaking everywhere. like one crack then the whole aquarium starts falling apart #and the kid seems a bit worried.#as were all evacuating i decide that its my fault. because the walrus must have been ramming the glass while the kid wasnt watching.#i remember thinking about how this was a movie or something and feeling really dumv #then yhe dream was over snd there was s recap??? in like drawing form and it showed the main character (me) putting a bomb in the center of #the aquarium in some sort of well or something. so. i guess it really was completely my fault in a different way than i thought #then later im at some sort of party or something and then i leave the party for another party or something? and i feel really bad sn #and socially innept the entire time. the person who i think i reconize we start talking and theyre like the first person whos nice to me #and were talking about following eachother on Instagram? or somth #while their scrolling i see a video eith one of my old friends and shes on the news? the headline is like “me and cathy snd the murder #victim...“ or something. and im like ”hey thats my friend“ and the person just shuts their phone off.#any ways so this person lets me hitch a ride with them back to the original party. they get out of the uber super early but its the right #house and the tell the driver that hes lost and the DRIVER gets out. so im like oh i guess this is their car??#and so they drive up to the drive way and three more people start getting in the car and theyre like putting stuff in the trunk #and talking about where to sit and i just start giggling.#and im still trying to participate like i offer to sit in the middle. theres already someone sitting at the front but he gets out and #everytime someone says anything i start giggling??? and like its sunny and everyone is very attractive in a way that o just found so funny #and then eventually two of then run over to this like panel dash board yhing that on a wall outside and like messing with it opening the #glove box and stuff and i just wake up #and immediately upon waking. well first i was like “teehee. i woke up from giggling” then i thought about it and i was like “oh. i was #take the front seat :(#dream log

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sculptambitio · 3 months ago

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/ What gets me about D.iavolo's ending is just;; how decisive it is- stories where the end is a silent capital dot drive me insane, like there's a melancholy to it that I can't put into words, it feels like a real scary dot you know? scary because it is so definitive- there's no sentence forward, no pages forward, it's also why (and this will sound insane) humpty dumpty's story makes me feel some kind of poetical and melancholic way, the way it ends as

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men Couldn't put Humpty together again.

theres no 'coulds' nor 'might' , there is no hope at the end, he just can't get put together again. and that's it, IT DRIVES ME INSANE!!! it's the way humpty or d.iavolo cant fix this themselves, and no one can fix it for them either, its once again, a final dot, there's no future to it

#DO YOU UNDERSTAND- THIS DRIVES ME INSANEEEEEEEEEE #;d.iavolo #;ooc #ooc #i dont know where to put my thoughts i have to vomit them all #because i think about how the only possible release from d.iavolo's never ending fate would only happen if g.iorno dies #but with his upgraded stand ability; what if g.iorno finds a way to loop himself the way he's done to d.iavolo but in a more controled way #to fit his goals/motives? so he essentially can never die by putting himself through a loop with his stand?#then g.iorno will live for eternity and d.iavolo will die for eternity #what happens after eons of deaths follow; would d.iavolo still recognize why the cycle even started?#a strange existence;;#if s.teel b.all run happened later; then maybe a version of f.unny v.alentine could have found one of the million timelines of death that #d.iavolo is in; and found a way that by teaming up they can k.ill g.iorno #but thats not possible; so unless some external cause disrupts the loop; he is just doomed to forever die #what if in the end; we are all going through a g.old experience stand moment-/j #what if death was a j.ojo reference/j

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whimsicalcotton · 7 months ago

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#listening to the breathe me + drive/gasoline/young god mashup again and.#goddd that ''and we're running; running; running'' into ''all we do is drive'' is sooo timelooper Max and Chloe arguing <3 #i like to think Chloe just. does not take the prospect of Max putting herself through a timeloop just for her very well #and it largely comes from feeling utterly unworthy of someone going to such astronomically great lengths solely for her sake #Max sees it as: i've worked so hard to save you and i'll keep going if i have to. take my hand. come with me. we're running #Chloe sees it as: you're killing yourself for me and all i can do is watch. you could let me go but i know you won't. all we do is drive #and they're both right <3 and it sux hardcore <3 #ya know. ya feel me. do you see my Vision djfjfndjdh #nebular.txt #marrow max tag #having so many Thoughts about them your honor. help i've got brainworms from my own au

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deepwoundsandfadedscars · 13 days ago

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Whelp, it's finally happened. Had a nightmare that I woke up screaming from 🫠