#;; toaster head vox.

[voxxisms]

toaster versus toilet. / @voxuli

he's dodging out of the way, grabbing a handful of his rapid - fire popping toast, && trying to shove it into the opening.

[voxxisms]

he really will need his eyes. vox seems, he has noticed, to have been cut out of the network in most ways. he can control some things, but he can no longer utilise his camera system to see anything. he can't do much more than look in genuine eye - level interest. no sharpening images, no capturing a moment to observe in greater detail. they just aren't options now. it is distressing, certainly. but he will have no way of viewing his own insides, so ...

alastor is his only option, && the only one he trusts to help. he is about to be in the single most vulnerable position he has ever been ; with parts he didn't know, && even less control over any of it than previous times of being literally opened up to alastor in this way.

❛ even if i did, i can't see through it. i'm disconnected. if there are ports i could use, i don't know where they are, either. but i've had val work on me a little && velvette, so i at least shouldn't have any trouble connecting the dots a little. i just might ask a lot of clarifying questions to make sure i know what you mean before we ... or, well, before i have you do anything, i guess. it's very possible i won't be able to do anything directly. ❜

he's pacing around the space, laying things out. opening the restraints on the table, just in case. not helpful if he starts thrashing around. that used to happen often when he made some of the initial changes. a box of parts, bolts, tools are brought up, screwdrivers && wrenches laid out as easily accessible as he can manage.

he settles into the chair after a moment. shakes out his limbs. the temperature has lowered quite a bit now that he's focused on something more ... routine.

❛ okay, uh. i trust you. right, i hope that's obvious. but if you don't know for sure, ask, if you don't want to try something, say that && don't just do it anyway. definitely watch your fingers? i don't know if the heat will be more internal or external at this point. if i stop responding, also, uh. you know. maybe we call it quits if the delay is more than ten seconds. if i start thrashing, but still can respond, you can restrain me, early on it was impossible to remain physically detached, so it may happen again here. i'm not sure. ❜

His eyes. How funny.

Perhaps it was fair to assume that Vox had even more limits on his sight than Alastor did. But even then Vox should have worded it a bit better. Alastor’s strength had never been his eyes. If Vox truly was so handicapped now, Alastor didn’t blame him for following through on this.

He stepped back as the floor opened and rose. A little more warning would have been nice.

A small scan over the instruments told him very little. The last time he had helped with this kind of procedure it wasn’t nearly this complex.

“I haven’t touched anything like this in a long time. But I will do whatever you need. I can’t give you an exact picture, you know that. Unless you plan on putting a camera in my hands, things will be lost in translation.”

A sigh.

“Just tell me what to do.”

[hazelfoureyes]

i have a bit of a fun ask :) can u put ur spotify on shuffle and write a fic with vox based on the first song that plays? plz plz HAZEL PLZ

Please please please know I am still getting my sea legs with Vox! So don’t go into this expecting my usual… uhhh skill? Confidence? also testing the new tag list system

「Warnings/Promises: Val exists, Vox x Fem Reader, stalking, pastry decimation, casual sexism」

Stalker’s Tango

From the moment you stepped out of your home, he was eagerly watching.

The security doorbell camera on your porch let him see you wore black pants and a white blouse. Perfect. A white pocket square in his suit jacket pocket to complement. “Wonderful choice as always, babe.” He spoke softly to the screen; to you.

He followed every move, jumping with muscle memory speed from traffic camera to home security camera to shopwindow full of screens.

When you stopped to go into a bakery, he was there in the cctv cameras, fisheye view of your order of cold brew coffee and a croissant. “Impeccable taste.” A confident laugh between you two as he shot off a text to craft services, two words, ‘Croissants. Now.’

“Could you possibly warm that?” You asked the young man behind the counter.

Another text. ‘Heated.’

He watched you at the bus stop. A man sat beside you and smiled at you. You offered a kind smile back. “Who the fuck is that?” He zoomed in, taking a screenshot to send to Velvette, ‘Find socials for this pissant.’

When you stepped onto the bus he sighed, relief the man was no longer bothering you but also with a heart heavy. You didn’t belong on the bus. Why couldn’t he just buy you a car? No, better, He should send a driver to pick you up daily. A personal chauffeur. You shouldn’t have to bother yourself with driving.

No, he was thinking too small. You should live in the tower. Angel Dust used to, why couldn’t you? A moment of fantasy.

Perhaps he’d walk in to find you in your pajamas. What ever could they be? He searched your online shopping history and couldn’t find a single purchase for sleep wear. Your lack of home television and a computer limited him to only watching you from your stoop and beyond. He buckled, what if you didn’t wear anything to bed? Why didn’t you let him see you at night? What did he need to do for you to trust him in your home.

A knock at the door he didn’t acknowledge. His sole focus was you. A book? You minx. Always playing hard to get. He knew you got the e-reader he sent. He watched you take the package from the doorbell camera, after all.

“Sir,” a small and slightly pathetic voice spoken through the door, “I’m getting word from downstairs they’re not sure how to keep croissants warm in the studio.”

Another zoom, what were you reading? He’d have the author on Vox programming, sure to take photos like old chums for you to see on your bus stop bench ads.

Vox rose slowly from his chair, eyes on you as he backed away from his desk.

A change in routine. You cut through Jekyll Park. No cameras.

Vox hurried to the door, huffing as he flung it open, “Have you never heard of a warming lamp?”

“They don’t have any… normally they only offer cold items.”

“Fine then have,” he pointed at a random employee walking by, “that fucker stand there with a toaster oven”

The eel demon shrunk, “Well he works for us not for-.”

The screen that comprised his head filled with static, eyes a swirling rage of red and black, “He works for the Vees. He goes where we tell him.”

He slammed the door, taking a moment to recompose himself before turning to face you. He didn’t want you to see him like that.

Spinning back, charming smile cocked on his face, “Alright where are you?” He strolled up to the displays and returned to his seat, scanning around until he found you again. But he wasn’t finding you. He couldn’t do anything about the park’s lack of cameras, it was pentagram city property, or else he’d have staff in there within the hour. Normally not an issue though, you never cut through that way.

Sixty seconds. Where were you?

Ninety seconds. Where were you.

One hundred and eighty seconds. Where were you!

Vox’s chair fell over as he stood with a panic, hitting the speed dial for Security. As the phone was answered and he began to instruct them to the west entrance of the park, you emerged from the tree lined path and tossed your empty coffee cup and food bag into the recycling bins. You’d just slowed your walk to enjoy your breakfast with a pretty view.

“Nevermind, false alarm fellas.” A nervous chuckle as he pulled at his collar. “Sir we’re not all me-.”

He hung up and leaned on the control panel. He should have sent a text. In fact maybe he still should.

Good Morning sinners! Reminder—- you’re only safe when you’re under the watchful eye of VoxTek Security Cameras.

A mass push text to every VoxTek phone in pentagram city. He watched you look at your phone and then up to the camera pointed directly at you from a light pole. A satisfied hum, “Good girl.”

As his view switched to the VeeTower camera system he danced into the elevator.

Vox’s foot impatiently tapped, staring directly into the eyes of the VoxTek employee holding the toaster oven in his hands. The fishy looking demon was squirming as the heat bled into the metal casing and burned his palms.

“Oh! I didn’t know I paid you to arrive late!” Val’s voice carried across the set.

You gripped the handles of your tote bag, “Val I’m sorry! The bus got a flat tire and I had to walk.”

A hiss as Val leaned down to get eye level with you, “Sluts lie as easily as they open their legs.”

“No, Val.” Vox interjected, tone stronger than he had intended, “She’s telling the truth. It was on the local traffic report. Cut her some slack.”

“I don’t watch that shit.” A sigh, exhaling pink aphrodisiac laced smoke into the air between you three, “Fine. If amorcito says so.” Val smiled to Vox before sending a sneer back to you, “Now fuck off to the dressing room.”

He walked away to shout at someone else, so you took the opportunity to say, “Thank you.” You offered a little head bow, grateful for back-up in your lie. Vox had already been trying to sneak off the set when you started speaking to him, causing him to sheepishly spin around on his heels. “I don’t think we’ve met before, but I see you all over the place. You’re Vox, right?” You extended a hand.

His screen flickered, blue background now with a gradient pink starting from the bottom, a blush rising up his face, “I see my reputation precedes me.” A false bravado as he gestured to himself. He moved the croissant to his right hand so he could shake yours.

“Well… your name and face is on everything. So, yes! I guess so.” You shook his hand, “Oh, I had a croissant too.”

He beamed, “Ya know what they say, great minds and all that. I was just having a little breakfast after reading. I hear they have some on set today in craft services.” You perked up, looking to the food table and the man holding the toaster oven.

“My lucky day! If only they had iced coffee. It would be perfect.” With a polite smile you took a step away, “I gotta go or Val will kill me. Nice to meet you!”

Vox stood still until you were out of sight. His hand crushed the pastry before he launched it across the room, mumbling about coffee before looking back longingly in the direction you’d left in, “See ya later babe.”

༻Masterlist༺

∰ Summoning the Horny Little Deer Cult (general tag list):

@cxrsedwxrlds , @nonetheartist , @tsunaki , @janchei ,  @moonmark98 , @hoebihoeshi , @pansexual-opera-house , @polytheatrix , @lorddiabigmommymilkers , @backinthefkingbuildingagain , @harley2223-blog  , @poinappel , @midnightnoiserose , @spookieroz , @missmidorima a , @ivebeenthearchersstuff , @downbadforfictionalppl , @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx , @sleepylittledemon , @aether-th3-enby , @dontfuckbutimfab , @breathlessaura , @aperfectidiot , @certainlygay , @jth12 , @star-kujo-platinum @ivebeenthearchersstuff , @rubyninja1 , @simphornies

, @readergirlstuff , @berry-demon , @chirimeimei , @fairyv-ice , @olive-frog , @thonethatflies620 , @tiredkiwiii , @ilikemyteawithmilk , @whateverlololo , @psipies , @howabouticallyou , @roxxie-wolf ,  , @fizzled-phoenix ,  @phobophobular  , @mariaclarade-la-cruz1 , @whateverlololo    , @roxxie-wolf , @a-case-of-attachment , @multifandomfanatic02 @watereddownmilk   , @bontensbabygirl 

[i-am-so-normal-about-radiostatic]

Some Radiostatic hc's for y'all

Antler shedding

Alastor actually sheds his antlers every winter, just like regular deer do. The only problem is that since deer normally shed their antlers while fighting for a mate and Al just doesn't do this sorta thing, he has come up with an ingenius solution

Slam you head against the wall real fucking hard so that your antlers fall off.

Due to the discomfort caused by the antlers and the sheer concussions that he gave himself by his foolproof plan, he just curses like a goddamn sailor and has a temper short than Vox's, and that's saying a lot.

Vox meanwhile handles all the shit that Alastor can't do because it's his time of the year and even attached a pair of Al's shed horns to a wall so that he can actually lock antlers and shit that deer do in the wild. He has gotten much gratitude from the poor, distressed deer who just wants to "GET RID OF THOSE FUCKING ANTLERS".

When the shedding is over our dear deer becomes super clingy and just latches onto Vox and cuddles him (only in private ofc)

2. Vox's tail

Vox got a tail that ends with an elecrical plug, which popped up after upgrading to a more energy-consuming screen. He charges himself in exactly the same way one would charge a toaster. But, he still needs to sleep, due to same anatomy details I'll discuss in a separate post

[am-i-interrupting]

Let’s Roll | Vox x OATSH Reader

No prior knowledge of the series required, other than reader is an overlord & Vox is new to Hell.

Summary: You drag Vox to the rolling rink. He reminisces on life and how different things are now.

Vox wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting when you came back into his reality. It wasn’t like things had been before you died. Too much time had passed and too many things had changed. No matter how much he had wanted to dip you into a kiss when he saw you, he didn’t.

He was mostly caught of guard by how much hadn’t changed than what had. You dragged him around Hell like you once dragged him around New Orleans. You liked mostly the same foods. (He had caught you eating raw demon parts Rosie offered though.) You enjoyed the same activities. You were, for the most part, the same.

The biggest changed was that you seemed more free. You didn’t seem like you were constantly looking over your shoulder. Instead, you actually relaxed, even when in public.

It was nice to see.

It was an adjustment, to have you back after so many years without you but it was one he was happy to make. One of the many things he was getting used to was the fact that you could just appear.

One minute he was cooking an egg over the stove while he waited for his bread to toast, the next, he felt his heart stutter because he turned around and there you were.

“Fucking Hell!”

“I do believe I can tell you exactly why you’re in fucking Hell,” you said. You pointed between the toaster and the egg. “That. That’s the sin that landed you here. What the fuck is that?”

Gathering his wits, he rolled his eyes. You’d had this conversation before. “Breakfast.”

“Disgusting.”

He turned his back to you and grabbed a plate. “Is there a reason you’re here?” he asked. “Aside for insulting my food choices, of course.”

“Insulting you will always be my top priority,” you said. He nodded his head along sarcastically. “But, yes! I did have another reason. About two months ago a roller rink opened up.”

“And you’re telling me this now because. . .?”

“Because now it won’t be as busy and I want to go,” you told him. “You’re coming with me.”

“You sound very sure of that.”

“Are you seriously going to tell me you have plans?”

The deadpan tone and judgmental eyebrow raise almost made him want to lie. He’d been in Hell for nine months total, knowing you for seven. He really didn’t have many responsibilities yet.

He’d gotten himself employed, was able to keep a decent roof over his head so far. You’d casually brought up soul contracts before. Then you’d delve into detailed discussions on how they worked, what they were. He found himself thinking they sounded a lot of regular business contracts with higher stakes. He’d yet to procure one just yet though.

He didn’t have anything planned. You were right. He hated to admit it but he hated the thought of passing up time with you more.

“I don’t have anything planned for this week, no,” he said.

Vox took a bite of his egg on toast. He silently laughed to himself when he saw your nose scrunch up at the action. You stared at the food in his hand for a moment, glared at it.

You shook your head. “Then you’re coming with me. I’ve actually never been before.”

That gave him pause, “You haven’t?” and you wanted him to be with you the first time you did?

“No, is that a problem?”

“Not at all.”

“Good, well, I’m going to go. I’ve got a busy day but—“ you yanked open the door— “I’ll see you tonight!”

You puckered your lips in a mock kiss before you slid out, closing the door behind you. Vox felt himself begin to heat at the action.

Then it dawned on him, “You could have used the door when you came in!”

He expected to hear roaring laughter from you but when he heard none, he went to open the door himself. He looked both ways down the street but you were nowhere to be seen.

Of course you’d just up and vanish, only use the door for show.

Vox held onto your hands as he helped you up. Your grip on his hands was enough to hurt but he didn’t let it show. Instead, he smiled.

“You’re doing great,” he promised, even though your stance was too wide and your tail was flicking wildly behind you, trying to help you balance. “Stand up a bit straighter.”

You tried to but immediately moved your hands so they gripped his forearms. He moved own to your elbows. He pulled you closer, trying to guide your posture using his own.

When you finally got stable enough that you weren’t wobbling just by standing, he loosened his hold on you. In contrast, you tightened yours.

“Don’t you let go of me, Vox,” you said.

“I’d never dream of it.”

He moved back without warning, prompting you to follow. You glared at him. He smiled. The night continued on like this.

Despite you being more enthusiastic to go, he was clearly the one more confident here.

In life, you would never. He would have never expected this kind of behavior from you in life. You were too concerned with remaining in control but he got to see the you he once cherished in private moments all the time. It was intoxicating.

“My feet hurt more than I thought they would,” you said at the end of the night. “I thought it would be similar to just a normal day walking around, but no, this is worse.”

He leaned close to you with a smirk, “Would you like me to carry you?”

You met his gaze head on. “I wouldn’t say no to the offer.”

His smug look fell off his face immediately. Your laughter filled the surrounding air. He debated whether or not it was a fair trade. His embarrassment for your amusement. He eventually decided no. Your amusement was worth far more.

[voxxisms]

he will begin the chase. he is beginning the chase.

❛ start running. i still have some old functions, including the ability to fucking trip you! ❜

it might be with a toaster outlet cable, but still!

wait.  (  wheeze.  )  wait,  he  has  another  one.  (  wheeze.  )  ❝  i  suppose  you  could  say  poor vox's  evening  has  gone  a-RYE  —  that's  still  hardly  an  excuse  to  be  so  SOUR,  DOUGH! ❞   (  WHEEEZE.  )

[xxx-sir-pentious-xxx]

Sir Pentious' Flatscreen

Chapter 1.

Warning: This has potential for some psychological horror aspects, it might not be a good story but this whole goal is for something fucked up so be on your toes.

Sir Pentious had conveyed why he was really at the hotel, but he had gotten attached to the crew, he then convince them to let him stage some photos and coax Vox to come alone to get a look of Alastor for himself.

The plan worked like a charm, Vox was too wrapped up in his disturbed excitement to see a corpse that he didn't see Pentious wrapping a bar towel round his fist. That punch was enough to shatter the screen, blinding Vox completely, before getting slammed down and having cheap rubber gloves over his hands to keep from getting electrocuted while cuffing his hands behind him.

Quickly taking the nearest item to smash Voxs legs until they were broken. The screaming and insults from Vox disturbed the crew who were hiding just in case. Eventually there was quiet and Charlie came out a bit nervously,

"Pentious?.. you okay?"

It took 8 minutes to find Pentious who was fetching a broom and had a sort of, blank expression.

"Pentious there you are! What happened??"

Charlie was relieved some but still on edge, the answer from Pentious only serving to send a shiver, not for the words but how he said it,

"Oh. I handled him. You wont have to see him Ever again. Hehe."

He just had the smile of someone who did something particularly bad, or had plans for it. He continued,

"Sorry for the mess, I'll clean it up now."

He went onto do so, and Charlie decided to ask Alastor to check on him in an hour.

And hour passes...

Alastor went knocking on Pentious' bedroom door before just opening it anyway, catching Pentious in the middle of mutilating Voxs body. All though Vox was machine mostly there was still some guts and muscle, the beating heart pulsed fast with fear.

Pentious was in the middle of taking out certain components that gave Vox his powers and cauterizing the wires to avoid fires. Pentious looked at Alastor for a minute and they simply nodded, before the door was shut and locked by Pentious.

Vox felt abject horror as it dawned on him he hadn't told anyone where he went, for all anyone knew he could have just locked himself away for work or anything really.

Would anyone even look for him.

Would they just..

Replace him.

Maybe...

Right now his main worry is his head being detached and mounted to a wall and having his body measured.

Eventually he was sewn shut, the pain was horrible and all he could do was curse and yell,

"When I get free I'm going to kill you, you fucking Loser peice of Shit!! You cant keep me here forever!"

He kept ranting even as his screen was replaced. Vox could see again and honestly he wished he'd stayed blind.

The gore and pile of parts on the ground were no different to him than seeing your kidney and liver on the floor. What made it worse was when Pentious started throwing the parts into random appliances, like a coffee maker and a toaster.

It was like the electronic version of taking skin and putting it on a lamp as a shade. If anything made him squirm it was that image that he'd be stuck with, and the idea of it being used.

As if knowing this Pentious took the two appliances and brought them to the hotel kitchen to hook them up and testing them.

The two appliances worked better than ever before.

Pentious took one cup of coffee, and returned to his room.

End of Chapter 1

Was it good?

[of-the-nightsky]

Just Maybe

Disclaimers: NijiEn Fanfic | Piokuma | Vox Akuma 3.0 x Doppio Dropscythe 2.0 | BL / MLM | Strangers to crushes to lovers (?)

Summary: Maybe he didn't have to trash the place out of frustration. Maybe he didn't have to take a walk to cool himself down. But... but maybe he really shouldn't be staring...

"JuSt gO FoR a wAlK aLrEaDy!" He mocked, stomping his way down the familiar passage. "Go CoOl OfF! Geez, can't a guy just punch a wall to just punch a wall?"

Okay, so maybe he didn't just punch a wall because he burned himself on the toaster oven again. But it totally started it, he saw it giving him the evil eye!

("WITH WHAT EYES DOPPI??? WITH WHAT EYES???" screamed the Ver in his head again. Seriously, he swore it had eyes.)

Alright, sure, the toaster oven was innocent until he became the judge and sentenced it to a life of being broken, again, but it was with good reason! He was just trying to make a poptart in it with a little toaster strudel buddy, he didn't think twice about it. Now he has to be a "good boy" and go for a walk.

Yeah, whatever Ver, you keep thinking I just need a walk! He thought sulkily. Sure, he had qualities that rivaled the dogs in that popular animated movie and all, but he was a big scary wolf and not some dumb dog. His tail did not wag when he was called a good boy, it did not!

("Pio, you can say that all you want, but your advanced butt-whip just knocked over a vase of flowers, again." Ver, nobody calls it a butt-whip, it's a tail. Stop giving it weird names, last time you called it the Mess-Maker-Plume-Master-3,000.)

Maybe Ver was on to something, Doppio wasn't sure anymore. Maybe he shouldn't have punched the toaster oven so hard it busted through a wall. Maybe he shouldn't have chased after it to "finish the job" or whatever his wolf-aligned brain hyper focused on doing.

Although it did frustrate him that it burned him. Guilt slowly clawed its way into his heart. Maybe he was a bad boy and he should have tried being good a lot harder. Maybe he didn't have to trash the place out of frustration. Maybe he didn't have to take a walk to cool himself down. But... but maybe he really shouldn't be staring at the demon who was their neighbor five blocks away. Wait, since when did I even walk this far?? Oh, whatever, what is this dude doing, gardening? Lame.

Or so he thought it was until he saw how the literal butterflies just seemed to love the flowers so much. Like, they were made for the butterflies to feed from. Maybe staring wasn't a bad idea. It was a good view of a big strong man showing a tender and gentle side.

He stared for a solid minute, zoning out and finding his own inner peace. He watched how the muscles moved beneath the taut shirt and pants, watched how the behemoth of a man even greeted a harmless hummingbird with a soft rumbling voice hiked up into such a fond high tone.

Oh.

Oh dear.

His heart couldn't take it.

The man stood up to adjust the hummingbird feeder he had set up and did so without a fucking ladder.

The muscular man was obviously able to tower over even him, Doppio himself, without it even being close. Not only that, but he was being so gentle for the tiniest and most fragile of creatures and he could not handle it.

He didn't even know how long he was staring at this large man, envisioning how it must be like to get the best fucking head pats in the world by such a gentle giant of a man. It was long enough as rose pink irises glanced his way and their eyes met.

The heat rose on Doppio's face. He was caught. He really shouldn't have been staring. He was pining for a stranger for the past devil-knows how long! (No God would ever look upon him and not think his stare was sinless!)

"Going for walk!" He blurted out far louder than he intended before turning and starting to speed-walk away. He was confident his face was every shade of scarlet.

It was mildly embarrassing. He lied to himself.

He didn't hear any fond chuckling that made his long wolfen ears burn and flatten against his skull.

And most certainly,

Undoubtedly...

His tail, most definitely did not wag.

Nope.

Nobody saw it.

Anyone who claimed so were liars!

Vox, for all he was worth, never expected to be spotted by such a unique golden-eyed magenta wolf man. Not that he was opposed to it. He found it cute in a way. The poor wolf was just watching him like a lost puppy having his first outing. His eyes shining like a meadow of dandelion's that have yet invaded the hill behind it. It was so precious and innocent. He didn't know who they were, but he hoped to see them again. Especially seeing how red their face had gone when their eyes met. It was rather delightful after spending many long years by himself. Maybe doing his garden once a day wouldn't be a bad idea if it meant possibly meeting such a wolf. And maybe, he could invite him in and get to know him better. Just maybe, if Fate was a kind soul for once.

To be continued... (maybe?)

[voxxisms]

@rradiio replied to your post “M!A I’m taking your head and replacing it with one...”:

"Are you okay? " - Alastor

he is in such distress. little branches of electricity pop && fizzle. new toast. a new tortured expression burned onto bread.

❛ do i look okay? i'm running at about a hundred degrees, i keep fucking making toast, && i want to be put out of my misery! put me out of my misery! ❜

[voxxisms]

the expression shift && tail movement was an immediate tell, && vox waited only a short moment before a set of toast popped out, bearing a similarly delighted look on his own face. of sorts.

❛ you are an absolute revolutionary, you know that? i could probably sell more for custom sets? i'm sure that's possible, it isn't as though forcing an expression is hard, just finding out how to make it go through. ❜

he laughed, too, nodding his clunky head with approval.

❛ i can have velvette send something out quickly, get someone on setting up request forms && payment portals. good thing i haven't had anyone clean up yet. you want a cut? i don't know that i would have jumped straight there myself, it's only fair. ❜

His alternative perking up at this was a good thing, but him talking about advertising it was another. It makes him hum a little--before it hits him like a ton of bricks.

Wait. He's got a fucking amazing idea right now.

✥✧∘* "Dude--you could sell your toast for a limited time!" He laughs, that large tail of his lifting. "They shoot out whatever face you make like it's a damn printer, haha!" Little wide show of hands. "We already fucking sell shitty cereal! You gotta cash the fuck in on it before it's gone man, hop on that shit!"

[radioaf-a]

Anonymous sent in: △ whats up with you and voxxisms then? @voxxisms

7/10

There is  just humming as he kicks his feet behind him. A good question and one he doesn't know the answer to. Maybe he should ask Vox. Another time when he doesn't have a toaster for a head.

"I like to keep my private life out of the limelight. I always have and always will my dear Anonymous person, what's between me and vox stays between us."

[the-grand-av3]

Roleswap, now Alastor's the one doting on the toaster-child while Vox hates their guts. (ps, this is an observation, not an MA)

(Im gonna be honest wdym by observation not MA?)

*Head pat*

GASP

PAPA TYYY

Don't wear it out.

wow i do love me a man whose good with children

no i dont but

[warped-historian]

Warped Tour, 2003

Dates:

June 19: Boise, ID

June 20: Bozeman, MT

June 22: Denver, CO

June 23: Wichita, KS

June 24: Bonner Springs, KS

June 25: Maryland Heights, MO

June 26: Cincinnati, OH

June 27: Noblesville, IN

June 28: Somerset, WI

June 29: Tinley Park, IL

July 2: Calgary, AB

July 4: Vancouver, BC

July 5: George, WA

July 6: St. Helens, OR

July 8: Pomona, CA

July 9: Ventura, CA

July 10: Chula Vista, CA

July 11: Long Beach, CA

July 12: San Francisco, CA

July 13: Marysville, CA

July 15: Peoria, AZ

July 18: Selma, TX

July 19: Dallas, TX

July 20: Houston, TX

July 23: Atlanta, GA

July 24: Orlando, FL

July 25: St. Petersburg, FL

July 26: Pompano Beach, FL

July 27: Jacksonville, FL

July 28: Charlotte, NC

July 29: Virginia Beach, VA

July 30: Bristow, VA

July 31: Brockton, MA

August 1: Montreal, QC

August 2: Barrie, ON

August 3: Pontiac, MI

August 4: Milwaukee, WI

August 5: Cleveland, OH

August 6: Burgettstown, PA

August 7: Darien, NY

August 8: Camden, NJ

August 9: New York, NY

August 10: Asbury Park, NJ

Lineup:

AFI (Played 6/19-6/29 and 7/18-7/29)

Andrew W.K. (Played 6/19-7/31)

The Ataris

Dropkick Murphys

Glassjaw

Pennywise (Played 7/4-7/16 and 7/30-8/10)

Rancid

Simple Plan

The Starting Line (Played 7/18-8/10)

Sum 41 (Played 6/29 and 7/9-7/15)

Twiztid (Played 7/31)

Face to Face

Less Than Jake

Me First and the Gimme Gimmes (Played 7/31-8/10)

Mest

Poison The Well

Suicide Machines

Taking Back Sunday (Played 8/8-8/10)

Talib Kweli (Played 7/5-7/13)

Thrice

The Used

The All-American Rejects (Played 7/23-8/10)

Atmosphere (Played 7/15-8/5)

Brand New (Played 7/23-8/10)

Damone (Played 6/19-6/28 and 7/2-7/6)

Ill Kid (Played 6/19-6/27)

Mad Caddies (Played 6/19-8/6)

One Man Army (Played 7/15-8/10)

Rufio (Played 6/28-7/16)

Slick Shoes

S.T.U.N.

Tsunami Bomb

The Unseen (Played 6/19-7/16)

Vendetta Red

Yellowcard (Played 7/18-8/10)

7th Standard

Anthym (Played 7/8)

Arkham (Played 6/19-6/23 and 7/4-7/16)

Arraya (Played 7/4-7/6)

ASG (Played 6/24-6/29, 7/18-7/23 and 8/7-8/10)

Authority Zero (Played 7/5-7/16)

Avenged Sevenfold (Played 6/19-7/16)

Avoid One Thing (Played 7/31-8/10)

Coheed and Cambria (Played 7/28-8/10)

Count the Stars (Played 7/28-8/10)

Destruction Made Simple

Drowning Adam (Played 7/13)

From Autumn to Ashes (Played 7/8-7/27)

Heavy Trevy (Played 7/10)

The Line (Played 7/9-7/13)

M-80 (Played 8/3-8/8)

Matchbook Romance (Played 6/19-8/2)

Motion City Soundtrack (Played 8/3-8/10)

New Transit Direction (Played 6/19-6/23)

Pepper (Played 7/15-8/10)

Places to Park (Played 7/24-8/6

Plain White T's (Played 7/8-7/27)

Rise Against (Played 6/19-6/29 and 7/28-8/8)

Story of the Year (Played 7/18-8/2 and 8/9-8/10)

Vaux

Western Waste

Audio Karate (Played 6/20-6/25)

Bowling for Soup

The Escape Engine (Played 8/1-8/10)

The Fags (Played 8/7)

Maxeen (Played 6/19-7/16)

Sloth (Played 6/19-6/27)

30 Day Warranty (Played 7/29)

5 Finger Discount (Played 7/28)

8th Wave (Played 6/24)

A Dying Race (Played 8/1)

The After Life Kids (Played 7/28)

Against the Sky (Played 6/21)

AGaNG (Played 6/21)

Alastor (Played 7/23)

Almost Cool (Played 8/6)

AnchondO (Played 6/25)

And Faster We Fall (Played 7/23)

Anti Anti (Played 8/8)

Army of Freshmen (Played 7/9)

Atomic Kick (Played 6/28)

The Awkward Picture (Played 8/1)

Bedrockers (Played 8/8)

The Better Half (Played 7/6)

Big Jim Slade (Played 7/23)

Blind Luck Music (Played 7/31)

Blueroot (Played 7/9)

BomberMan Awesome (Played 6/20)

The Brews (Played 6/25)

The Broadcast (Played 7/19)

Brownie Points (Played 7/24)

Calcutta (Played 7/9)

Caruso (Played 6/26)

Censored Youth (Played 7/16)

Chaser (Played 7/11)

The Clarity (Played 7/20)

Class of Zero (Played 7/11)

Common Effect (Played 7/30)

The Common Place (Played 6/28)

Concise (Played 7/25)

consicebloc (Played 7/25)

Crooked Edge (Played 7/25)

Day Two (Played 6/21)

Deagle (Played 8/10)

DKLIMB (Played 7/26)

Dogmatic (Played 7/10)

Donkey Punch (Played 8/3)

Down By One (Played 6/19)

Down in the Park (Played 7/27)

The Downs (Played 6/22)

Dual Peak (Played 8/1)

DV8 (Played 7/19)

EPD (Played 7/6)

The Erks (Played 7/8)

Ever Since Radio (Played 7/30)

Every Moment (Played 7/20)

Everydays Monday (Played 7/19)

The Failure (Played 7/2)

False Intent (Played 6/29)

Falsehood (Played 7/9)

Farewell to Twilight (Played 8/4)

Fist-15 (Played 6/19)

Flat Earth Society (Played 8/10)

Floored (Played 7/4)

Forfit (Played 7/10)

Fortitude (Played 7/24)

Four*Sixty*Five (Played 6/27)

Fourbanger (Played 7/15)

Fuller (Played 6/27)

The Gamblers (Played 8/2)

Gametime (Played 6/22)

The Getback (Played 7/26)

Gladyss Patches (Played 7/4)

Good in the Sack (Played 7/18)

GoOsEr (Played 7/13)

Haddonfield (Played 8/2)

Happy Campers (Played 7/10)

The Harp Project (Played 7/24)

Hello John (Played 7/15}

High School Football Heroes (Played 8/9)

Hindsight 20/20 (Played 7/29)

Hopesick (Played 7/27)

The Hot Flashez (Played 8/3)

The Interns (Played 8/5)

It Rains for Caleb (Played 7/24)

JC Auto (Played 6/20)

Jaded52 (Played 7/5)

Jem Crossland and the Hypertonics (Played 7/28)

Jennas Arrival (Played 7/15)

Jetstream Cowboy (Played 6/20)

Jhombi (Played 7/19)

Jumping Monks (Played 7/18)

JV Allstars (Played 6/24)

Kicked in the Head (Played 7/31)

The Know How (Played 8/1)

The Last Call (Played 8/7)

Late for Life (Played 7/26)

Locale A.M. (Played 7/6)

Lookingbackinflames (Played 7/2)

Lurch and Viscious Hick (Played 7/27)

Lynus (Played 7/13)

Lythic Blue (Played 7/4)

Madelines Demon (Played 8/7)

Mark Needs A Chick (Played 7/20)

Me (Played 7/4)

Mind Candy (Played 7/5)

Mind Driver (Played 7/8)

Montys Fan Club (Played 7/31)

Much the Same (Played 6/29)

MugShot (Played 8/2)

The Narcoleptics x5 (Played 8/5)

New Age Dropouts (Played 6/22)

Nimh (Played 6/21)

No Fair Fights (Played 6/22)

The Noviach (Played 8/8)

Oktober (Played 7/15)

On Side Red (Played 6/26)

Once Over (Played 7/12)

Onepointloss (Played 8/2)

Onset (Played 6/27)

Paper or Plastic (Played 7/6)

Parkridge (Played 6/25)

The Pits (Played 7/27)

Point Blank (Played 8/9)

Polaris (Played 7/11)

Pro-Izquierdo (Played 7/16)

Rayzing Sons (Played 7/8)

Red Skyline (Played 7/25)

Red Top Road (Played 7/12)

Ritter (Played 8/8)

Rivendale (Played 6/24)

Rocky Denis (Played 6/29)

The Ruminants (Played 7/10)

Rydia (Played 8/10)

Sadie Hawkins Rejects (Played 7/5)

Scallywagon (Played 6/26)

Second Before the Crash (Played 8/6)

Seven Day Delusion (Played 6/23)

Seven Degrees from Center (Played 6/27)

Shortfuse (Played 6/19)

Shortie (Played 7/13)

Silent Film Stars (Played 6/25)

Simplekill (Played 7/26)

Six Under Par (Played 7/18)

The Skantronics (Played 8/5)

Skracht Apple (Played 7/28)

SmallPaul (Played 7/12)

Snapback (Played 6/23)

Somerset (Played 6/28)

The Sore Thumbs (Played7/12)

South Day Bessie (Played 8/3)

The SpacePimps (Played 8/6)

Spectre (Played 7/30)

Split Fifty (Played 8/9)

Spoiler (Played 7/16)

Sprout (Played 8/10)

Start to Fetish (Played 7/29)

Stellar Frequency (Played 6/23)

Stinkaholic (Played 7/8)

Straight Outta Junior High (Played 6/24)

Straight Line (Played 7/5)

Struck Down (Played 6/20)

Style Over Substance (Played 7/23)

Subdue (Played 8/4)

The Swellers (Played 8/3)

Thatcher (Played 8/7)

This Island Earth (Played 8/6)

Three Day Threshold (Played 7/31)

Throw the Fight (Played 6/28)

The Ties That Bind (Played 7/20)

Tir Flame (Played 7/16)

The Tossers (Played 6/29)

Truth in Fiction (Played 8/4)

Undergo (Played 7/2)

Underhero (Played 6/26)

Upinatem (Played 6/19)

Upside (Played 6/23)

Urban Style (Played 7/30)

Vast Difference (Played 7/13)

Victory Flag (Played 8/5)

Vox Humana (Played 7/29)

Weak at Best (Played 7/2)

Wester (Played 7/11)

Westgate (Played 8/9)

The White Heat (Played 7/18)

White Knuckle Trip (Played 8/4)

Wide of the Mark (Played 8/7)

1208 (Played 7/10-7/16)

2 Cents

A Loss For Words (Played 7/24)

Anatomy of a Ghost (Played 6/19-7/6)

Anything But Joey (Played 6/24)

A.T.W. (Played 6/25-6/26 and 8/5-8/8

Beret (Played 6/19, 7/19, 7/26, 7/31 and 8/8-8/10)

Big D and the Kids Table (Played 7/18-8/9

Bob's Office (Played 7/10)

Boogie Naws (Played 7/30)

Break the Silence (Played 6/19-6/29)

Breaking Even (Played 8/6-8/10)

Cigar (Played 7/6-7/8)

The Code (Played 8/6)

Cold Fusion (Played 7/8, 7/10-7/11 and 7/15-7/16)

Commercial (Played 8/6-8/8)

End of the Line (Played 8/9-8/10)

Faceplant (Played 7/18-7/23)

False Prophits (Played 7/28-7/29)

Fear Nuttin Band (Played 7/31 and 8/9-8/10)

The Fight (Played 7/5-7/8 and 7/10-7/11)

Four Bill Stall (Played 7/15-7/16)

Gametime (Played 6/25)

The Getaway (Played 8/1-8/3)

The Heathens (Played 7/2-7/4)

The Holograms (Played 7/11)

Hurry Up Offense (Played 8/9-8/10)

I in Team (Played 7/2-7/4)

The Know How (Played 7/24-7/27 and 8/1)

Leon Milmore (Played 7/29)

Letter Kills

Level (Played 7/8-7/13)

Lightweight Holiday (Played 6/26 and 8/5)

Live on Release (Played 7/2-7/4)

The Lordz (Played 7/5-7/6)

Lylah (Played 7/16-7/19)

Mackenzie (Playd 8/1)

Meesh (Played 8/1-8/2)

Melee (Played 7/10-7/16)

Never Heard of It

Near Miss (Played 7/18-7/19)

Operatic (Played 7/10)

Pipedown (Played 7/13)

Punchline (Played 8/4-8/6

River City High (Played 7/28-7/31)

The Shocker (Played 7/5-7/13)

Skyline Victory (Played 8/6-8/10)

Spenser (Played 8/5)

Split Tail Delux (Played 7/11)

Stairwell (Played 7/4-7/9)

Switchblade Kittens (Played 7/5-7/11)

Ten Years From Now (Played 7/28-7/30)

Third Estate (Played 6/19-6/25 and 8/7)

Thought Riot (Played 7/12)

Throw Rag (Played 7/12-7/13)

Tijuana Gasso (Played 7/13)

Time Will Tell (Played 7/9, 7/11, 7/23-7/27, 7/30-7/31, 8/8 and 8/10)

The Toasters (Played 8/10)

Undergo (Played 7/4)

Virus Nine (Played 7/6)

Without Self (Played 7/4-7/6)

Bottom Line (Played 7/9-7/25)

Counterfit (Played 7/9-7/25)

Don't Look Down (Played 7/9-7/25)

Gametime (Played 7/11, 7/13, 7/18 and 7/20)

The Goodwill (Played 7/9-7/25)

Mightas Well (Played 7/24-7/25)

Over It (Played 7/9-7/25)

Park (Played 7/9-7/25)

Sonny (Played 7/10, 7/12, 7/15-7/16 and 7/19, 7/23)

Underoath (Played 7/18-7/25)

Vanguard (Played 7/9-7/16)

Bullet Train to Moscow (Played 7/15)

Last Action Zeros (Played 7/15)

No Gimmick (Played 7/15)

North Side Kings (Played 7/15)

Parkway Wretch (Played 7/15)

West End Crooks (Played 7/15)

Where Eagles Dare (Played 7/15)

[voxxisms]

     VOX  WATCHES  HER  HOP  UP,  ARMS  CROSSED.  a new slice appears,  squinted eyes in some sense of suspicion,  but he doesn't shoo her away.  he shakes his head,  the weight of it feeling particularly strange.

        ❛  no,  it doesn't hurt.  it's  ...  very hot,  uncomfortable.  not a fan of the bulk,  or the slots.  it's a little like having a headache,  but just the pressure.  &&  i can't access anything i should be able to.  ❜    vox sighed heavily,  claws scratching against the metal as he rubbed his face.  leaving little marks.  ugh.   

        ❛  you don't happen to secretly be all - powerful?  a deity?  or a skilled technician?  ❜

Ooooh, she does feel a little guilty now. Yeah this breadhead was going toe-to-toe with Alastor, but he's never done her any personal harm - he's actually been quite lovely. She hums.

"Sorry, that was rude." She springs up onto the nearest surface to almost be level with him. "Does it huuurt?"

[ask-the-almighty-google]

Excerpt from Chapter Four of “Omnes Occuli”

Hi, everyone. This was a monster of a chapter to write (a little under 7,500 words, and by that I mean the chapter in full and not the snippet I’m posting), but I wanted to post the first part of it because I realize it’s been a while since I put out a snippet to catch people’s attention. So... I went with the part on Elijah, because it has to be my absolute favorite...

May 07, 2020

ELIJAH’S POV

It was always interesting living in Masyaf. The day began with a set of chimes ringing clearly through the Keep over the speaker system, rung by the resident former Marine - being Archie, coincidentally, which leant itself to some absolutely hilarious instances because Avery was not  a morning person and you could hear her complaining over the PA - and everyone rose with the sun. This was more of a life choice than a strict rule, however. As long as people got their tasks done before they turned in for the evening they generally could wake up whenever they wanted, but it had been ingrained into their ancestors to rise early and most followed that example.

Like Desmond, for instance, who had hated dawn runs as a teen but now scaled a tower every sunrise before breakfast out of Animus-ingrained habit.

This morning was no different. Elijah groaned as the chimes rang softly but insistently throughout the Keep, heaved himself out of bed, received a distracted hair ruffle from his dad that any other teenager would be annoyed at but he appreciated for the simple effort of paternal affection it conveyed as they worked their relationship out, and went to stand in front of the bathroom mirror. As always, his hair was a rat’s nest - made worse by the hair ruffling - and he looked like the walking dead.

Binding yourself to the monotony of human routine, Aita sighed, tutting. Elijah rolled his eyes and ignored him, as per usual, as he stuck a toothbrush with spearmint toothpaste into his mouth and brushed. He ignored him on a daily basis. Ignored every little comment he made, and unless it was a life or death situation he even did so when the information was uncharacteristically helpful. Which, generally, it wasn’t. Being in an environment where most everyone had a tiny voice in the back of their head that wasn’t theirs helped normalize this daily process and ignore Aita. This had been such a long-established routine that Aita rarely bothered speaking to him anymore, though Elijah was well aware of his general mood and the fact that he was always listening in.

After a quick run and a shower, he settled himself in one of the many kitchens on an island stool and hunched over a bowl of cereal. Narrowed eyes watched Charlie bustle distractedly about the space like a hummingbird, flitting from toaster to stove to glass cupboard and somehow managing not to set any fire alarms off in the process. There was an efficient grace inside the whirlwind of chaos that was stunning to witness in the fluidity of the movement, and Elijah could see why he was earmarked to be his future field mentor should he decide to become an Assassin.

The idea held appeal. This community was welcoming of him, accepting, and to them he was just another one of the pack rather than the weirdo with the mental disorder (as he had been in school) or the Sage. He was an individual among other individuals who were as close to being like him as anyone could possibly be. Realistically, he couldn’t survive in the civilian world without Assassin training. Just trying to avoid either side would be a nightmare without those skills. Aita was a scientist, and the jumbled half-remembered wisps of memory he got from past Sages wasn’t enough stock of knowledge to rely on.

So, Assassin it was then. Two years’ time, when he turned sixteen, he’d choose the path of the Assassin. However, no one ever said he couldn’t take an interest in anything else...

Ever increasingly over the past few months he’d been with Vox Populi he had been continually drawn to the Erudito Enclave operating out of the dungeons - who were extremely happy with their aesthetic thank you very much - and the technology they were working with. The holographic transmissions system they were linking to their wi-fi enabled Animus with projectors all over the Keep had been reverse-engineered off of an Apple of Eden into a completely new format. From scratch code, hardware, all of it. Animus technology adapted to heal psychological injury rather than cause it. The sheer amount of research being carried out was more than enough to pique Elijah’s interest, and with a somewhat reluctant thanks towards the part of him that was Aita he had a great talent for it.

“You think my dad would let me do a dual study with you and Erudito?” Elijah asked. The unexpected question made Charlie jump slightly before he regained his composure and shrugged.

“Kid, if there’s anyone who’d be supportive of you chasing your interests, it’d be your dad.” He leant against the counter and dipped his toast into his oatmeal after pouring apple juice in it. Upon seeing Elijah’s wrinkled nose of disgust he laughed. “Hey, I’m not asking anyone else to eat it. But I know what I like and it’s toast-dipped apple juice oatmeal.”

“I’m not sure you’re the best instructor for me,” Elijah muttered. “There are just some things you shouldn’t do to a bowl of perfectly good oatmeal.”

“Ah yes, the age-old pineapple on pizza debacle,” Charlie replied sagely, taking a large spoonful of his breakfast.

“Pineapple is good on pizza,” Elijah defended. Charlie frowned at him and leant back on his stool.

“You’re right, I don’t think this partnership is going to go well. Pineapple on a pizza. Sacrilegious.”

“Add a little bit of ham,” Desmond suggested as he walked in and poured himself a glass of milk. “You get a really nice glaze.”

“Must be a genetic flaw,” Charlie sniffed.

“Right, because whatever it is you’re eating isn’t controversial either.”

“Is it really that bad?”

“You have five people in my head laughing at you.” Desmond sat beside Elijah and grabbed the cereal box. “What do we got here? ...Eh, it’s food.”

“It tastes like soggy cardboard, just so you know,” Elijah warned with a shrug. He slurped up a spoonful before meeting Charlie’s gaze across the island counter and nodding slightly. “Hey, dad?”

“Mm?”

“I was wondering if I could uh. If I could study with Erudito? Like. Along with Assassin training? I just, I really like the tech stuff they’re doing...”

“Yeah, sure, I don’t see why not.” Desmond eyed him over for a few seconds and blinked. “You think that decision will change in the next two years?”

“Nuh uh. Um... I’m smart enough to realize I wouldn’t last a day as a Civ without proper training considering what I am to both sides. I just... wanna do something else too.”

“Mm...” after a few moments of silence, Desmond seemed to come to a decision over something. Elijah was by now familiar enough with his dad’s mannerisms to know when a debate was going on with everyone else inside his head. “You can start training as soon as you want. But.” He pointed a finger at Charlie. “Not for this Washington State mission. Not without prior experience with those hunters around.”

“Like I’d want to walk around an Isu temple filled with murder hornets anyway,” Elijah snorted. He stood from his seat and rinsed his bowl in the sink, accepting the obligatory hair ruffle from Desmond as he did so as the proto-expression of familial affection that it was, and then headed down to Erudito to have a word with Charity and Diana.

Both women were in the middle of a mess of wires and equipment when he found them, flat on the floor and covered in grease and oil. Mild electrical burns covered Charity’s left arm and singed Diana’s sweater sleeve, and Elijah didn’t bother to stifle his laughter as he hovered by the door.

“Fighting you?” He called, feeling somewhat mischievous. Charity quickly pulled herself out into the open to get a look at him, hair an absolutely terrifying mess, and shook an industrial gloved finger at him.

“This system is proving a lot more difficult than we thought it would be,” she retorted. “Trying to incorporate a filter for particle solidity into the projectors when we have no idea how to make holograms solid is a real pain, but the last thing I want is to have to redo all this stuff. Making it possible so that we can just software patch it would be awesome.”

“Include a parameter to adjust the light density of the photons,” Elijah suggested.

“Beg pardon?” Diana asked, finally joining their conversation. “I thought the best way to create solid holograms was with high frequency of movement in the-”

“Not sustainable for what you want. If you take a look at an Isu hologram, like with the Apple, it actually adjusts density of the light particles being dispersed.” The two women exchanged an awkward look.

“Ehm... we can’t actually get it to work without somebody doing it for us, and the only person who can get those things to work the way they’re supposed to is Desmond,” Charity explained, rubbing a hand over the back of her neck. Elijah shrugged, walking over to the isolation chamber their Apple was being kept in and lifting it out.

“And me. Lucky for you guys I got clearance to do a dual study with you.”

“Oh, I like that,” Charity chuckled. Diana smirked and nodded, and they both watched in wary fascination as Elijah concentrated his focus to expertly work the artifact.

Always fear, your kind’s reaction to our tools, Aita snickered as the projection system came on.

Considering Apples were used to control the minds of your slave labor force- which was us- are you really surprised?

No. But fear prevents full utilization. If you cannot harmonize with the object you cannot properly wield it.

My dad seems to do just fine with it despite being gun-shy. There was a long period of tense silence as Charity and Diana studied the artifact and occasionally asked him to try different things out with it as they took notes and made diagrams. What?

Your father scares me, Aita said in a rare moment of total honesty. Elijah blinked.

Come again?

He scares me, Aita repeated. The sheer level of Master Assassins in his mind mixed with his own aptitude... one of those Masters being the very man responsible for killing me in a past life... it is concerning.

Well... aren’t you lucky I’m his kid then?

Yes... luck... Elijah rolled his eyes at the unease in that response and fought a smile. It was gratifying to know that the voice he’d fought against in his mind all his life was afraid of the man most interested in looking after his welfare.

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E80 (October 15, 2019)

Tonight’s guests are Matt Mercer and Taliesin Jaffe!

Announcements: The collected edition of the first six-issue run of Vox Machina: Origins is available in trade paperback format at your local comic and retail shops! (The standard, hardcover edition is also now available in both the US and UK Critical Role online shops.) Pub Draw is back on Wednesday at 5 PM Pacific, featuring special guest Mica Burton! Undeadwood, the four-part supernatural miniseries featuring Brian as Game Marshal, premieres this Friday at 7 PM Pacific (VOD available immediately for Twitch subscribers, then up on YouTube on Sundays)!

Episode 80: The Folding Halls

Stats for episode 80: Caduceus received the campaign’s 40th whisper to insight check Allura. Taliesin has received the most whispers this campaign, with 17. Caduceus rolled his 10th Natural 1, disregarded thanks to Warcaster. (There’s a brief digression into the Brave Little Toaster-esque adventures the Golden Snitch must be having.) It’s been 90 days since the Mighty Nein were last in the Heirloom Sphere. Nott called Allura four misnomers (Beau chimed in with one). Matt sighs heavily. “Yeah.”

Allura’s reintroduction was mainly related to the logical development of how Yussa’s circumstances would’ve evolved, and Matt figured it would be fun to have the connection to the Arcana Pansophical... and bringing Allura in just followed naturally, of course. Of course. (Also because it was fun.)

“The minute the description kicked in, it was definitely some candy. Okay, this is nice, this is everything I needed right now.” Taliesin points out that Caduceus just loves meeting new people anyway, especially if they seem chill. He’s hoping this might be something that mellows the group a little.

Taliesin’s expression during the insight check on Allura? “I was entirely fucking with everyone at the table. I was just trying to make some weird faces to try to mess with Travis.”

Matt found it “pretty strange” to bring Allura back, particularly since 20 years have passed. “It was wild to step into her again, especially with an entirely new surrounding.” It was also a bit harder than he expected given the players’ particularly rambunctious reactions. But in the end it was like putting on a favorite coat and finding it still fit.

Taliesin: “Caduceus is like my version of Grog at this point. I can get away with a lot of things I couldn’t get away with otherwise.”

Best/worst nicknames the players have come up with for Matt’s cool shit? It’s more the NPC names that get him. Jamedi Cosko, auditors, Purvan (”but I should’ve known better; it’s my fault for not saying it out loud”).

It’s strongly implied that Taliesin may have stabbed Julius Caesar. As you do.

Cosplay of the Week: an amazing Raven Queen (sacook03, photo by emi_d_123)!

Caduceus genuinely hasn’t thought about how the Happy Fun Ball is completely artificial and hence might be outside the purview of the Wildmother. “I don’t think he understands what the Ball is enough to be really disturbed by it yet.” As far as he knows, they just got teleported to a forest somewhere. The “M.C. Escher nightmare in front of us” might be enough to clue him in next episode. Caduceus typically gets his reactions from everyone else, depending on whether he thinks they might be on-base or off-base.

Brian: “You don’t have to say it so much sexier than I did!” Matt: “Of course I do!”

Caduceus feels pretty justified in all his previous assertions that the Nein should be more honest now that it’s been confirmed that the Bright Queen is spying on them. “Let’s just put everything on the table. Put stuff out there, see what happens. It sounds good in theory, I’m well aware.” Matt wasn’t expecting the reveal of the spying to happen as soon as it did.

Taliesin: “You gotta save your mistruths for the moments when it’s going to help make somebody a better person.”

Matt mentioned on a previous Talks that the Heirloom Sphere was just supposed to be a fun one-off adventure, and he wasn’t expecting the group to hold onto it and then hand it off to a more powerful mage. He realized that Yussa would immediately have been interested in it, and as time went on, he thought about what would have developed, and realized Yussa would’ve been a bit too curious and arrogant not to try wandering in. “A lot of it was just rationalizing those possibilities, and then tying in the elements of the Laughing Hand.” Matt noticed that Laura brought it up as a possibility in an earlier episode after a subtle hint.

Caduceus is hoping that this is “finally going to be the moment where everyone starts working together the way they do in his head”, which is part of why he keeps checking in on the others right now. He’s aware that there are a lot of temptations in this place.

Allura saw some similar elements between the M9 and VM (mainly that they were so quick to offer up information about themselves to help out). She’s honestly mostly fine with guiding them because it means she doesn’t have to go in the Happy Fun Ball.

Caduceus basically considers all interactions with flora and fauna a success. “Never hurts to be polite. But, honestly, it’s not about cooperation, it’s just about being polite and respectful of your environment. If the local flora and fauna are being irritable, it honestly probably has very little to do with him.”

“The frog hurt. I will admit, the frog hurt.”

Fave piece of lore Matt’s gotten to drop? “The recent episode was really fun to help Beau connect the dots between the Laughing Hand and the Halls.” He’s also really enjoyed giving information about some of the more “vague inconsistencies” with the Angel of Irons. Also anything with the Kryn Dynasty and the Luxon; he likes getting to move out of the usual lore of D&D to surprise the players.

Fan Art of the Week: Essek, Frumpkin, Caleb, and the dodecahedron (by bumblefly02)!

Caduceus sees himself as a bit of a spiritual guide to Fjord. “He’s looking for moments to have some conversation and reward some behavior.” Right now, he wants to talk to Fjord about how this is an ongoing process, not an immediate “cure”. Taliesin and Travis didn’t talk about this development ahead of time.

Matt notes that the group had a lot of options to develop closer relationships with allies, but when they said they were stopping by to see Yussa, he knew they might be “going the Allura path”, and he was secretly excited that’s the way it went. 

Taliesin: “We are the Rosencrantz and Guildenstern of Exandria. We’re just hoping that we’re nobody’s nemesis at this point.”