#;; small talk

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

The Misconception of Selfishness in Autistic Individuals

The Autistic Teacher

[facts-i-just-made-up]

could i get some facts about me to recite when new people ask me to tell them something about myself and my mind goes immediately blank

This is a problem that happens to many people with much on their mind. Here is a set of things you can tell people, no matter what the occasion:

I am not made solely of pine-wood or pine-derivative plastics.

I have between zero and four thousand limbs, inclusive.

I contain several liters of my people's water.

My name is comprised mostly of real letters (Musks may differ).

I am unaware of the contents of soil on most exoplanets.

My spleen is smaller than the Chicago metropolitan area.

I am not, have never been, and may never be you.

Telling people these facts will always put them at ease and quell any concerns they have about your normality.

[spiritofsnows]

So our dear collective acquaintance @gallusrostromegalus has this in the authors notes of chapter 9 of The Power Of Friendship And This Gun I Found:

So I, a sweet unsuspecting soul, bounced over to duckduckgo to Experience this, for surely it could not be that bad

It's got teeth. It's got teeth in it's claws. There's fucking molars in there

[itsaspectrumcomic]

Why are we making small talk over gchat??

[csuitebitches]

Do you think you speak too fast/ too slow?

Here is what I learned from a speech coach.

warm up:

start this exercise by taking a deep breath and saying “aaaaah” - try to extend this to 30 seconds. Now if it doesn’t go till 30, that’s fine. Aim to work your way to that. If you can work it up to 30, go for 45/60 seconds. Do this 5 times.

next. Download an app called Metronome beats. It’s basically what singers/ musicians use for beats.

Settings: keep beats/bar as 1,

clicks/beats as 1

start at 90. It will start with a click sound and continue “beeping.”

Match your words to the beep. One beep = one word. Now slowly, increase the beat by 5 till you reach 110. Increase it at your own pace but try to spend at least 20 seconds on each number (90 for 20 seconds; 95 for 20; 100 for 20….) That’s when you stop.

either start by reading something out loud and matching the beat, or select a topic and speak freely.

do this every single day. This will help with your breath, if you’re speaking on a topic it will help you think better and improve over time. The best way to further complement this exercise is to improve your vocabulary. Try to learn 1-3 new words a day and incorporate it in your vocabulary.

This is a great tool to use when learning new languages too. You can practice your speaking skills and see how fast you can remember/ read words.

[cryptid-aac]

I can't believe I have to say this but there's. HUGE difference between saying "small talk is actually quite fun" and "small talk is actually fun and if you don't engage with the bit then you have a small soul and are miserable"

Yes, some (LSN) autistics do have the ability to learn how to do small talk. But the vast majority do not and can not. And using confirmation bias doesn't make you not ableist. The truth of the matter is that the vast majority of autistics who have seen your posts and are hurt by it probably don't engage and just block you. Because they've seen how you treated the autistics who are like "hey calling people miserable for not doing the bit is actually pretty damn ableist, even if you didn't mean it". They've seen how you hide behind the autistics who can do the bit and use them as an excuse as a "*they* can do it, so you can to."

[whetstonefires]

also like. you train your smalltalk skills by doing Your Best at social events you are not in any way enjoying but can't reasonably leave right now so that later, when you are having a supremely shit day and are all out of fucks, you have banked enough XP in the art that you stand a decent chance of being acceptably pleasant to your waitress on autopilot.

i once in my youth had to spend five hours being so normal at the funeral of a cousin i had liked but not known well, because making that day in any way more difficult for her sisters was totally unacceptable.

i leveled up in the art of 'prioritizing the comfort of others over sincerity' like three times in that funeral parlor just desperately making sure to not even risk being an ass.

sometimes the ability to do that is very much called-for, is my point ig. and especially if it Does Not come naturally, you gotta grind to get there.

[tumbler-polls]

This prompt was submitted by @mystical-dorito

[the-fool-who-loves]

[pratchettquotes]

"You're out late, Mr. Dibbler," he said, politely.

"Ah, Mr. Worde. Times is hard in the hot sausage trade," said Dibbler.

"Can't make both ends meat, eh?" said William. He couldn't have stopped himself for a hundred dollars and a cart load of figs.

Terry Pratchett, The Truth

[cryptonature]

"Small talk" is only "small" if you don't actually care about the subject. It is perfectly natural to invest interest in the little details of our lives and days.

[itsaspectrumcomic]

For some reason I just find it easier to talk to animals. Maybe because I know they won't judge me.

(…that's a lie, my dog definitely tells me when she thinks I've spent too long on my phone by knocking it out of my hand with her paw.)

[themaskedlady]

[rivias]

if i don't have a silly little youtube video playing in the background at all times i get taken over by the thoughts

[spiritualseeker777]