#;; miss these days n nights.
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meant to post these sketches a few days ago? a week? but, well, life.
#red dead redemption 2#my art#my fics#arthur morgan#rdr#rdr2#rdr2 fanart#young arthur morgan#and a wee little hs of wolf!arthur#today is the first day of the last 3 ive gotten to eat more than a single meal a day#my bp dropped at work n since it was a vision black out i had to post up in the friggin stall like batman on a ceiling so i didnt fall#which sucks since i have a manual labor job but luckily i didnt reach the shakin stage just kept gettin the dots n focus static#been sleepin n readin to avoid attention on hunger pains since i had no energy for drawin#finally got to have dinner last night since we got some money and i gotta say i dont miss the feelin of chokin on food i wanted so bad#man i love tags most ppl dont read em n i get some catharsis to vent in em
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miss me ? 🫡💯
the judgment day tweets again cuz i got bored 🤓 kinda lame but after this raw i miss silly judgment day like a motherfucker 😭💔
#wwe#the judgment day#wwe raw#finn balor#damian priest#monday night raw#the judgment day wwe#tjd#damian priest x finn balor#finn balor x damian priest#rhea ripley#dominik mysterio#dirty dom#jd mcdonagh#dont acc ship jd n dom#but sometimes they are fruity#NOT GONNA LIE#tweets#twitter#cringe#but we move#miss finndamian so much i started puking#FINNDAMIAN COME HOME#if theres any repeats we ignore
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ngl i thought that zakenna was going to be an mv set some time in idol sengen s1 before the mv dropped. like, her frustrations could’ve been a reference to her post-first concert flop era, her rival mentions could’ve been referring to lxl and/or asuna, and all the underdog mentions could also have been a reference or two to how she was a complete nobody at the start of her career…
and there was also doromizu line no. 1 from the tv arc which sealed the misconcepton deal s o b s
#rewatching zakenna after reading moge’s fanbox post kinda hits different in a sense…#but m a n i do not miss that hour i wasted looking up meanings for doromizu bc that. was. not fun!!!!!!!!!#i just didnt want to make mona say that she was gonna drink mud ok n. o. *no way*#tling idol sengen really does make me have to look up the darndest things…#just the other night i spent an hour looking up a term to describe a group of people who started working at the same job at the same time…#…yeah. well. i eventually settled for the word ‘batch’. i still can’t find a better word for it. but. man. im open to suggestions!!!!!!!!#and there was also the 30 min googling session for ‘unpleasant ways to say goodbye’. ended up down a rabbit hole of the nuances of farewells#the next 2 main chapters of idol sengen dont seem to be too challenging in the idiom department… but man~ last chapter was. just. y e a h#thanks rippei for being the bane of my existence!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ok i think i need to stop thinking about rippei bc my headache’s kinda comin back u m.#though i think it’s kinda funny in a certain way that i got a mild fever after zakenna dropped yesterday lol#sorry for celebrating mona mv instead of country day yesterday sorry for not lovin’ the ground on which i walk pls take this headache baack—#and y u p headache’s officially back bye y’all i think i need to watch yesterday’s firework vids to try to chase it off byebye
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would my best friend hate me if i woke them updurin the sleepover to be like. i wanna go home actually i cant sleep here
#IT IS SO WARM. I HATE EXISTING#and im all sweaty and feel gross but am j comfortable showeri g here#amd id have to wear this same fot to work 2 days in a row.... its a GOOD look but#i was gonna wear smt comfier n easier tomorrow#amd alao as mentioned above i sweat so much in it i can NOt go to work stinkyyyy#but its been SO LONG since weve had a sleepoveeeer... i missed them.....#but man back then it was just Colder. u could exist withiut wanting to peel ur skin off#i also never had a good nights sleep here in general u_u
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Love you still and always will.
#choosing love#love you <3#love you still#quotes#love quote tumblr#love lost#hopless romantic#short n sweet#i miss you#i need him#poets on tumblr#late night thoughts#aesthetic#love poem#longing for you#one day
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tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry
#tw rant#studying med is no joke. ik it was gonna be a commitment n that it wasnt gonna be easy n i thought i was prepared but im not#its my passion. i love what im studying and ive dedicated myself to this path but i just. its so hard n i just want to cry. everyday feels#so tiring. morning to night classes. when i get home i have to read 4 chapters MINIMUM n the books are so thick + exams almost everyday#i feel worse knowing there’s this 1 girl in my friend group that cant decide whether she likes me or not. one moment shes complimenting me#n asking where i get my outfits or my nails done or my earrings or whatever then praising me that i probably study the least out of everyone#yet still reach high student rankings but its not that im lazy im just so exhausted n its hard to have motivation... lowkey envy how my#friends study minimum 4 hours a day. we’re all tired n sleep deprived. even taking 30mins to eat makes me feel guilty. cant even watch 1 ep#of an anime bcos ill be thinking about the amount of work to do. and i have sm plans. i wanna be more active and have a healthier lifestyle#but i cant find it in me to wake up every 5am to go to the gym when i just wanna get as much sleep when im lucky to finish my studies today#i also dont see my bestest friends everyday anymore. some of us move to diff unis or some in diff majors. i just miss them so bad it hurts#and i miss the girl i used to be when i still had time and energy to indulge in my hobbies. i miss playing genshin and writing fics#just when i got back to writing and enjoyed it LOVED IT i had to go back to uni. i feel terribly lonely even when im always with people#im afraid ill completely lose grasp of the little things that make me happy bcos the weight of my responsibilities are heavier#im afraid ill be too focused on success again like i was when i was 17 and forget that its okay to relax too but idk#and i wanna meet more people make more friends have new experiences. i wanna feel alive again. and theres sm i wanna talk to or get to know#but im so afraid of people hurting me or disappointing me or people getting to know me only for the friendships to fail or we’ll dislike eac#h other. i wanna date and fall in love again and experience the romance my peers have. i wanna have someone to call my own person but the fe#ar of having someone only to lose them someday scares the hell outta me. im not ready for another heartbreak so i isolate myself and watch#people from afar. uni gives me sm freedom to do everything else and form my own identity but i dont wanna be Perceived. I wanna be heard and#seen n connect with people. but w my curreny state idt i can handle being vulnerable with others. it feels so lonely that the things i want#are out of my rrach but idt i can manage my time to meet new people and make new memories. i console myself by shopping a lot and going to#spas to relax yet i still find it hard to sleep. im afraid im wasting my time. im not as brave as i used to be. im not as efficient as i was#i get older and more tired and while i never questioned if studying med was the path i want i do question what will happen next#“is this all im ever going to be?” im good at what i do but day by day i lose sight of tje girl who knew how to laugh n smile. ik what makes#me happy but i rarely smile genuinely anymore. im so tired and want to sleep for a long time but i dont wanna fail. i dont wanna be NOT good#but it makes me cry when i know i can do many great things but i dont feel loved. people compliment me but dont approach me bcos they say im#intimidating or that im too quiet in class. i wish i could tell them i wanna join their parties too or i wanna meet their friends n hangout#but what if it doesnt work out? what if i wasted my time getting to know someone id eventually regret? what if im the disappointing one?#the days are getting shorter but it always feels like a long day. im ashamed to admit i want someone to hold me yet refuse to have anyone
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I may have Tim Drake'd to close too the sun today and seriously considered staying awake for 72 hours for no reason other than to see if I still could after not doing so for over a year, even though I used to regularly go that long with out sleeping, and tried to justify it by saying it was to for fic research to see how he would behave while pulling stunts like that
#I got so far that i'd come up with the perfect equation for how many hours of sleep one must budget for a the recovery after#which is 4 x n+1#where 4 is the number of hours I normally sleep per night#and n is the number of nights of sleep missed#and what night you would have to first miss to ensure I didn't have to be at work on the day I would need to sleep for sixteen hours#when it occurred to me#I stopped doing that because it was not good for me#why?#why am I considering this?#oh it's because a character i've become obsessed with does this exact same thing#Tim drake#anyway#Tumblr is my diary
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yeah I'm not gonna talk abt it am I...
#well thats okay. eventually itll come up naturally. and if not well. it doesnt make me feel very okay. but its not a big deal#and i guess ill meet ppl in the future who will curate a different idea of me and maybe therell be fewer misunderstandings#<- coward who CAN communicate to save their life but not in any lower stakes situation for their happiness n quality of life#we <3 repression n insecurity. maybe if i keep digging at the corner of this bit of the labyrinth with my spoon ill get out someday 😌#anyway.. theres my daily vague vent post got it out of my system#wanted to do it earlier but ended up not having much time after work n then called friends which was nice :^)#also i never have signal at work these days.. my boss has said shell get me on the staff wifi tho cuz i do need it for work reasons#its rare to need it for work purposes bc we all use work pcs n stuff anyway and not rly supposed to use mobiles in the lab#but yeahh.. god i have so much admin shit to sort out also gotta text family back before i sleep i forgot to earlier#its all good.. also my memory foam pillows turned up so i no longer have to steal my roomies extra one for my neck pain <3#ik she was missing it... not to sound like a creep but it was nice that it smelled like her a little. just familiar innit#we're always around each other so its just what being home smells like to me.. listen i have a sensitive nose 😔✋️#if we were a lot closer i would ask if i could sleep in her bed while shes away but we're not so it would come across sooo weird..#and i would feel rly weird abt someone sleeping in my own room without me there. well maybe not actually. as long as they werent snooping#<- guy whose mother used to go thru their shit all the time n struggles to not feel paranoid and distrustful when it comes to privacy#was thinking recently my ideal living situation w a partner would be separate rooms but we still share the bed sometimes#but not every night bc im a sensitive sleeper... but we can switch bedding so i can still smell them if i wake up in the night alone#like how new mothers trying to get babies used to cot sleeping each have a cloth or blanket and swap every night#so the baby is comforted by the blankets smell and sleeps more peacefully.. and momma finds it easier being apart from the baby too#sorry this is getting gooey and weird my meds have been wearing off the last couple hours im so sleeppyyyy 😭#well.... maybe everything can wait until tomorrow..... bed is calling..#goodnight everyone muah#.diaries
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ngl i don’t think any of my irl friends care about me all that much…………
#i’d chalk this up to being awake at ungodly hours of the night but i’ve been thinking about this for days now#like literally not a single one of them remembered my bday which like. in isolation wouldn’t bother me that much#bc i’m terrible with dates and i Know that sometimes u miss the day on accident and then when u realize it’s too awkward to bring it up etc#but i’m also always Always the one asking everyone to hang out#and whenever it’s a group of us they’re always referencing things they did/talked about without me and it just. feels so isolating#(bowling for soup voice) middle school never ends oh-oh oh-oh-oh-oh :(#i could go on but i might start crying and i don’t wanna deal with that rn tbh#N E WAYS time to stop thinking about this and start reading yet another book until i get sleepy. nighty night gay people in my phone <3
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this is officially worse than when i had e.coli i can definitely say that now
#emeto n illness etc its pretty gnarly and i dont have a filter so read at your own risk#its been 3 fucking days of barely sleeping and having that sleep interrupted by severe abdominal pain and vomiting#and then during the day i feel almost normal again! and then right before i go to bed the pain comes back and then im just up all night#this is the fourth day of work ive fucking missed this week and i literally want to jump off a cliff#this is worse than my ulcers its worse than e.coli and i havent slept since i woke up at 11:30pm. and its 8am.#ive been shaking and vomiting all night and im soo so tired. i need this to stop. the pain definitely got to like an 8 last night#and all i could do was lay on the couch and just writhe and whine because i literally cannot keep anything down!!#not even my.sleep meds that i unsuccessfully tried to take twice and threw them up both times#my whole body is pins and needles from fevers or chills or sleep deprivation i dont rly know or care#this is the first time in 8+ hrs ive been able to look at my phone without the nausea worsening tenfold so im dropping all of this#and if you think all of this feels bad physically! wait till you hear how it feels emotionally and mentally!
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girls when they wasted their off days sleeping when they had plans to do stuff n b creative or w/e:
#godd...this week when i leave night shift i wont sleep#and power through#i didnt even do laundry n stuff idk how the days passed#and bc of this im dreading work extra like......my to do list....#i did finish ebon light......which oddly made me sad like instantly i missed it so ill play Haron s route now#xx#these days my life is work + sleep#also noticed its been a month since...i started wow
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#ngl im just thinking about what a possible honeypre event could be like with meoto as the event song#tbh i wouldn’t put it past honeypre to literally marry them off in such a hypothetical event story bc you just *know* they would#they managed to cook up one of the fruitiest event stories (honeymoon event) with an absolutely nothing mv ([redacted] anime op)#so imagine what they could’ve done with an mv of lxl as an actual couple lmao#honeypre come back im still w a i t i n g for that megu event story#m a n i miss this dumb game it’s the easiest mobile rhythm game to pfc on#plus the guerilla lives were funny. esp minami’s horrible dances#i still think about his hipthrusts every day…#ahhhhhhh i really should go to sleep i think ive polluted the dash enough for one night#i hope i don’t oversleep in the morning save me love chuchu#LXL MEOTO CRISIS 2K24#染BODY ONCE TOLD ME—
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I’ve been wanting to reopen commissions soon but I rly need to make new examples, maybe try to figure out what ppl are most interested in (I think my most commissioned items are always icons, so? Those will be included) and what I can do…I also want to refigure my prices. Like I do want them to be affordable, and I do love drawing for ppl, but I also want to make sure I have the bandwidth + time for them and also feel like I’m being compensated properly since I do have a job now so they would be the Side Thing aaa TwT
but I’m finally at a place where I feel like. Not burnt out after every week and I’m in a nice routine now and pretty used to my job, so I feel like I can handle more on the side. Very excited abt that. Not excited abt making new examples or figuring out what I wanna offer etc tho I hate the logistics of commissions. Part of me wants to do a pay what u want thing with a set minimum and maybe start exclusively offering them thru kofi since it’s so easy, but we’ll see!!
I look to maybe open them around June so like. If anyone is interested, I’d love to hear what kind of stuff u guys would want? 🤨
#I realize posting this at 2 am might not yield feedback LOL I’ll maybe do a more formal poll on my art blog later#I’m up waaay past my bedtime bc I’ve been nocturnal this week#the landlord sent ppl to reno our kitchen so I have been sleeping during the day#and working at night so that I can avoid the ppl. anxiety. whatever I feel bad for being in their way and I’m shy ok 😭#it’s been loud and a mess all across the house bc of it and I am a tiny bit stressed#plus family stuff but the reg yk. it’s fine#but thinking abt how excited I am abt art and possibly drawing for ppl and making them happy makes me happy aaaa#I rly do love making art for ppl#and I’ve missed it#sanchoyorambles#in other news I got a bird bath for outside my window so in addition to the feeder I can see them splash#haven’t seen any of them use it for that yet :( but several wasps have drank!#wasps r smarter than birds confirmed I guess. they’re growing on me a lil bit I’m ngl. there’s a nest on the porch#and last week when I decided I’d work outside for an hour or two one came and sat with me#perched on the arm rest and hung out. and I was brave and didn’t run away! we r friends now me n the wasps#someone appreciates my gift of water#birds take notes……….
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was going thru the pics on my phone n came across the second to last twins game I went to back in 2021. this was in august, a month after the twins traded Nelson cruz and this was his first game back. before the game, he went out to chat w some of our guys, and his bestie miguel sano came up to give him the biggest hug that I managed to capture w these pics. nellie really was the heart of the team for a little while, so I really loved being able to see his homecoming and reunion live
also helped that the twins absolutely crushed the rays 12-0 this game
and as an extra treat heres one of the "fun facts" they showed for one of sanos at bats
#minnesota twins#nelson cruz#miguel sano#i really do miss the bomba squad era guys a lot#amazing how much a team can change after just a few years#i did get another pic of i think donaldson getting a nellie hug out there too#but these pics r uh not very high quality so i cant really tell who it is#i just kno for certain thats sano there who immediately went for that hug#wanted to post them here cause. well my phones getting old n idk if ill be able to keep all the pics on it loll#oh they also honored the 1991 world series team this night too#they had the trophy out on display n everything#twas a good day
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I don’t like it, compared to Seven 3D was such a let down. Jack’s rapping style and the lyrics are mediocre at best, there’s no context, no substance. There’s a lot of discourse going around saying some lines are misogynistic and I hate I have to agree. BTS was called out on this before (when they were teens) and so this collab with Jack is like a step back.
Not judging people who do like it. It’s just me :)
no judging at all!! y'all, go ahead and give me your honest opinion, it's okay lmao
but yeah, i get you. i like the jk only version better and was a bit taken aback by jack's part. the whole thing didn't really make sense to me lol and suggesting he needs more than one girl to feel entertained was :/ not the vibe of a romantic like kook. am def a seven gal myself lol
#the opinions in my inbox are like night n day lol#idk man i just miss the euphoria still with you my times vibes ig#im home soon and have a couple things to do so ill answer more later 🤍#notes for rid 🌹#anon#3D 🐰
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#LOL why do i even worry#heard from my friend n we're meeting in 2 weeks. also invited my crushy wushy LMAO. god.......#this is so JDJJDJDJDMDMDMMDMZ#like i had a Feeling id be hearing from her but then i was like ah whatever.... i'll message her tomorrow no matter what JDJJDJXJXJXJ#and lookie lookie she messaged me hehehehhe#ive missed her so much JDJJDJDNDN#i was watching seulgi's channel n i was like omg.... shes just like my friend I MISS HER XJKFKKFKRMDX#and i get to see .... too so JDJDJJDDJDKDMD WOOOOO#the way he responded was so like nonchalent like lmao ok. like overly casual. like oh ya i should be around that day JDJJDJDJDJDMD#IDK WHY BUT THATS SO FUNNY LIKE LMAO. hes a specific funny made just for me like idk how to explain. i read his messages in his voice#n i just JDDJDJDD GOD HE IS DJTK4KD#so consistent. like i scream. he messages just like he talks. i cant handle it. like im the same way ive been told.#and maybe its the usual case with ppl but JDJDJDJDK IDK#the way he talks/texts is so specific.#god im obsessed with him like hes a kpop boy or somethin. god help me#to think last night in my past 3am thoughts thinking i was over him LMAO SO FUNNY SOOOO FUNNY GIRL#personal
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