#though i think it’s kinda funny in a certain way that i got a mild fever after zakenna dropped yesterday lol

[deus-ex-mona]

ngl i thought that zakenna was going to be an mv set some time in idol sengen s1 before the mv dropped. like, her frustrations could’ve been a reference to her post-first concert flop era, her rival mentions could’ve been referring to lxl and/or asuna, and all the underdog mentions could also have been a reference or two to how she was a complete nobody at the start of her career…

and there was also doromizu line no. 1 from the tv arc which sealed the misconcepton deal s o b s

[space-arts]

Yes I love the robot fellas, they're a bit sassy which I find cute. The idea of them playing cards is kinda adorable I must admit, especially if it's like just go fish or something plain instead of the Chaotic card game. They see enough of the game during the day!

Though I like the idea of Codemasters having the robots stand in as therapists of sorts, I must admit a thought of 'the robots can hear about the going ons from all sorts of players all around and use that information to send back to Codemasters' popped up which was quite interesting I think… which made me think about all the robots casually flying around and catering to everyone and just caaaaaaasually being able to record/feed all that info back to Codemasters. Do I think Codemasters need random tidbits from Chaotic players? Nah. Do I think it's a funny idea regardless? Yah. I suppose most info would be useless, but it could help subtly catch kids who are trying to do something bad, like… well… blowing up rare locations perhaps??? The thought as well giving robots more personalities and even letting kids trust them enough to talk to them if they're going through troubling things, would that not help more info to spill over that they can send to Code Masters ??? Heck yea…

I like the sassiness of the robots, and I think that if the show had a reoccurring robot (say one who always happens to serve food to the main four) it could've been very cute and funny. Because the Port Court has different hubs for each Code Master and their dromes, the idea of having robots from each area having different personalities corresponding to the hub they are in could've been interesting too (perhaps they could be colour coded to the area/CM hub they're in to further indicate where in the Port Court you are?). And although it wouldn't work forever as the audience would catch on, I like the idea of subtly showing the personality type of the Code Master Tom/co could face later on by showing the robots acting out in similar but smaller ways. Crellen for example is a bit more mild and a role model type, so the robots being more mild in personality and maybe even giving advice would be a hint as to how Crellen might act in a CM match. The 'air' of a certain hub might help prep you for how you should prepare for a CM match too. Even if it's a subtle difference I think it would help to make each hub more unique and would give a good understanding of where you are in the Port Court when the animation budget doesn't allow you to have a bunch of really unique areas to show off lol. Give me more train rides when this show comes back in 13293 years!!! Sorry I got carried away but I digress! I love the robots so much… they are just little guys…

[raichubork]

GTO Review

Great Teacher Onizuka is a beloved and iconic series and in this post I'll talk about both the things I absolutely adored about it and my frustrations.

So, right off the bat I'm gonna mention that I don't often laugh hysterically while watching anime (or anything really) but somehow GTO managed to have a buncha moments so ridiculous that my only possible reaction was pretty much set in stone...

The humour and character writing are both plain genius!! I could never for the life of me predict what Onizuka's next move would be. His recklessness and luck, as well as his gullible and kind nature added a lot to his complexity as a character.

In the artistic department, we got the banger openings and EDs, the on-point animation and variation in facial expressions. In terms of voice acting, every VA fit well and every character's lines were delivered perfectly, tho my personal faves were undeniably Urumi and Miyabi. Kotono Mitsuishi's vocal range and her accurate French pronunciation were a pleasant surprise but I also liked the bite and seriousness Miyabi's voice had, while it was also laced with uncertainty and her screams in that parking lot were simply harrowing ngl, I was 🤏 this close to crying during that scene.

And now, about my frustrations that gave me mixed feelings on the series despite how much I enjoyed every episode, except for the Yoshikawa/Anko part in those last few episodes during the Okinawa arc. It was just unpleasant to watch, honestly. I think Yoshikawa's random personality change and his attitude towards Anko felt out of place, even though it can be ruled out as his pure kindness.

And either way, Giving Mukai and Yoshikawa romantic interests in order to call them "men" as if it's manly to...chase after a girl that's come to terms with the fact that you don't like her and save the one who's made your life living hell from certain death, respectively, just to ditch the subplots altogether and create loose ends kinda sucked tbh. It made me anticipate a lot of stuff that just didn't happen. GTO being a comedy manga (mostly) doesn't really excuse that, as some other series managed pull off some sorta closure to their subplots. My main example is Danshi Koukousei no Nichijou. Unlike with Mukai and Kujirakawa, who only get 1 singular episode together and their relationship never ever sees the light of day, "Literary girl" becomes a running gag in Danshi Koukousei.

Admittedly, I wanted and expected Fuyumi and Onizuka to get together because they're 2 consenting adults which at least kinda have chemistry but I'm convinced that Tooru Fujisawa either:

intended Onizuka to have commitment issues and despite him dealing with other people's problems he never gets his resolved, presumably because he keeps running away from them

struggles to write romantic relationships or doesn't know how to.

Onizuka's struggle to commit to romantic relationships (which is evident in both his relationship with Misato and the one with Fuyutsuki) never gets any closure, from what I've gathered.

The sexism was another thing that occasionally bothered me. While at times the perverted jokes were genuinely well-timed and maybe even funny, other times they felt very awkward, out of place, uncomfortable,, well you get it.

Some things aged poorly, simply put.

especially the ganguro stuff

On another note, the anime's ending kinda left me with a mild sour aftertaste. It felt like an Onizuka thing to do, but at the same time...how and why. Like FYM he's teaching in America now. Dude can't even speak English properly.

It also felt like the ending didn't allow for anything afterwards even tho the manga continues and ngl I'm personally not willing to read it becuz of the ending, Urumi and a few more things that didn't really get resolved.

Either way! It was overall a really fun watch, it gets a 7.8/10 from me

Toodles

[shinygoku]

Help! (1965)

It’s May Day, and a Mayday is a cry for Help!

Released shortly after the film of the same name [I gotta find better quality footage of it lmao], this album has only 2 covers and may have the most iconic songs featured since A Hard Day's Night. Does the whole selection hold up or could it have done with a bit more ....NUJV?!

That's right, in Flag Semaphore they aren't spelling HELP, but NUJV, which naturally I only know from reading about The Band haha. Done that way for more pizzaz, don'cha know. A very minimalist cover, I like it more than With The Beatles but I wonder why they tinted their black garb to be blue?

SIDE ONE

Help!: While they've dabbled in "Depression song set to upbeat music" before, I think this is their most iconic of that genre. I also think it's well known – at least among Beatlemanics, that it's a lot less ironic. John wrote this one quickly and in doing so put a lot of himself in there. With that knowledge, I feel a little more guilty going "Haha #mood", as I think it's safe to say the average listener has fewer Problems than John did, not least the lack of being on a microscope slide as The Beatles were... but it IS still a relatable number that's a fun song, too! For an anxiety number it makes a great opening, which is odd to say, but here we are. Splendid backing vocals and drums with occasional moments of very audible guitar also lift it above similar vibe'd numbers.

The Night Before: I love this one, and the depiction of the Stonehenge scene with interesting camera angles from the movie is forever married to the music in my mind! I think it says something that I'm much more into the "Hey Girl don't be mean to me" style than I was on past albums, maybe it's related to the dude being on the receiving end of someone leaving in the morning this time having it feel fresher? idk. Groovy instruments drive it very nicely and the harmonies add dimension to the mournful vibes in counter to the almost rock 'n' roll flavour, methinks.

You've Got to Hide your Love Away: I'm not as keen on this one myself... again, the sequence in the Film comes clearly to mind for this, but in that they were like, slouching in the communal house and that matches the sluggish energy. This feels like it shoulda been on the previous album with the slower tempo and grumpy lyrics. But all that said, it's still very solid and well performed, and again I know people connect to the exasperated words. Also hi, Tambourine! "Two foot small" is the standout line to me, and I think there could be allegory for non-heterosexual relationships in here, but a lot of the song is murky and mumbly. Maybe on purpose, it sure adds to the Mood, but it again makes me less energised.

I Need You: This was also in the film, but it wasn't as distinct a cinematography sponge. I think it shared the Stonehenge scene but The Night Before overshadowed it somewhat lol. Sorry, George! ^^;; – I guess it's down to this being much more mild and downbeat, even though the themes on paper are pretty damn similar. I'm not into the stated thesis of trying to guilt a relationship back on, which is a common pop song template. The bridges[?] are really lovely though, the stringing and bongos make a dope backing track with more "aaahhh-hhhh" type harmonies.

Another Girl: Ahh yes, in the film the Beatles were in the Bahamas and miming this song, like Paul playing the Bikini Wearing Girl - Anyway this is kinda another "Nyah nyah sucks to be you, I've UPGRADED with New Girl" that was common in AHDN and BFS, but I'm feeling more generous this time, maybe as it's got a jaunty tempo and more cheerful energy, even with spite lacing it lol. The short guitar solos add a certain je ne sais quoi.

You're Gonna Lose That Girl: Ok, first of all the whiplash from the previous title to this is soooo funny. I've also seen comparison to She Loves You, that this one offers a Quiet Part Said Loud; You've upset your Girl and you can either make nice with her pronto, or I'm gonna shoot my shot and be a better BF at that lmao. Either way, it's pretty refreshing to hear this kind of counterpoint to the hypothetical situations in other songs, this one isn't bragging or pleading but Stating that Improvement is needed, Dude. Albeit still with a smidge of arrogance to assume the girl will so easily fall into the POV's arms hahaa. Still, any nod to Girls Having Agency is groovy, like the instruments (includes Bongos this time!) and oooohhh man the smoke and colour filled Studio in the film.... you're making Smoking look too cool!! Aaaaaa! (It’s my 2nd Fave Music Vid sequence in the whole movie~)

Ticket to Ride: Did someone ask for another mopey song? I didn't, but I'm not complaining. The instrumental opening and strumming that continues until the sudden build up in the Bridge(?) makes this really fun to listen to! I forget if this is the one that may be about a prostitute or not, but it could explain the Girl's nonchalance about heading off lol, but it could be another sign of a slow to dawn realisation that 'Oh yeah, Girls do things off their own bat sometimes too....' which seems to be a theme in this album so far. Also seen a hypothesis /Paul allegedly claimed that the Ticket is to Ryde in the Isle of Wight, but as ya can see it's spelled different, so that may be a Reach. ALSO!! The Alps Music Vid from the film set to this music is my absolute fave part of the movie, even though the Bugs mucking about in the snow has no relevance to the song, it's just sooo pretty and a joy to watch while cool music plays~ And it has a fun coda, too!

SIDE TWO

Act Naturally: WOOOOOOOOO!!! YEAH, BAYBEE!! This may be my absolute favourite Cover the boys have performed, it's utterly perfect for Ringo and the bouncy energy really make this one I go out of my way to listen to. In keeping with the album's theme, it's up-tempo and has lyrics about how dang miserable the POV looks that he's the obvious pick for a particularly depressed role in a film! Uh... yay? (Pushes Depressing Ringo Lore away for this.) Seeing how Ringo seems to still do performances of this in more modern times, I think he's really fond of it, too~ And it is eerie how close this song is to Ringo's role in AHDN [Film] and Help! [Film] where he's the poor little Meow Meow undergoing the Horrors, and doing a pretty great act when not completely baked (and tbh, in Help! I think their High-ness enhances a daft plot rather than dragging it down). Also Paul's backing vocals in the chorus are very nice lol

It's Only Love: I don't recall hearing this one before. Maybe as it's not as good? lol. John's words are a bit tricky to parse out from the energetically strumming guitar. Again I'm keen on the music but the main Theme is "Girl you're difficult or something girl. Ow my feelings" and I'm not sure if it's meant to be a good or bad thing in this song's narrative. idk, mebbe this song would grow on me if I heard it more, but I'm not inclined to put it on the Underrated Gem shelf with IHJTDWY from AHDN or an upcoming song from Revolver...

You Like Me Too Much: George's 2nd whack at a song on the album! And I don't think I've heard this before either. And I'm not sure I'll remember this one later today lmao. I like the piano opening. Seems to be about a less-than-healthy relationship where the Girl is incapable of staying away... but has POV done anything to cause this? It seems like they threaten to get the girl even if she did leave successfully, so, assuming I didn't get the wrong end of the stick (which is possible as the sound balance is a bit murky on the mono uploads) then yeah, another L here. Geoooorge!! You can and will do better, but this ain't it!

Tell Me What You See: Not heard this one before lol. It seems less Creepy and more optimistic than most'a these less-than-memorable numbers, but it's not doing much for me, so yet again I will warmly comment on the Instrument work, a very consistent strength (which may be getting stronger and stronger, but it's less clear in this exact song lmao). The humming at the end wasn't very good though.

I've Just Seen A Face: Ohh! It's much faster tempo'd than expected! This shock to the system gets me liking it more than expected lmao. Somehow it seems more modern in this way (when I refer to Modern music, that's not actually a compliment most times fyi), but I dig it. Woooow that guitar is being strummed and a half!

Yesterday: Ahh yes. This song is quite load bearing indeed. Hearing the melody in a dream. Scrambled Eggs. The string quartet. Paul's work without any significant contributions from the others but released as Lennon/McCartney anyway as these days were so early and something like this hadn't been done yet. Potentially a first crack between that pair, it's later cited in John's Diss Song after the divorce... But I'm not planning to delve into conjecture, and other than my own fruit loop takes I don't wanna get too deep into rabbitholes here. It's easy to be mislead on Beatle Theory, tediously! But it's a beautiful, heart tugging song and it's no surprize that it's become the most covered of 'em all. So sad, mournful and regretful, yet compelling and easy to find yourself murmuring as you go about your day.

While I don't rate any covers over the original [listen to it on the '23 Red Album ver!!], I do get a kick outta an instrumental cover with Japanese Instruments (in part cause of my Weeb Leanings, but it's SOOOO JRPG End Credits material too lmao)

Dizzy Miss Lizzy: And we close the album with one more cover! ........Yeah, a bit of a damp squib to end on lmao. Anything is gonna be a Coughing Baby after the Hydrogen Bomb that is Yesterday, but it doesn't even seem to have many lyrics to speak of! Feels very much like Live Performance Filler when they need to space the Good Stuff out and have a bit of a break hsdjhjgdfhdf

CONCLUSION

Best 3: Help!, You're Gonna Lose That Girl, Yesterday

Blurst 3: It's Only Love, You Like Me Too Much, Tell Me What You See

I've had a hard time picking only 3 to put in the Best Category before, but this time it's even trickier as there's more Noticeably Strong Songs and Act Naturally is such a charming cover I wanted to cram more in! (something something The Economy Class Beatles getting just pushed out of my own spotlight on AHDN/Help!, oh woe is me as I love their songs!) That's good!! But again the Off Vibes for some'a these, especially on Side 2 again, make that easy to fill too. Still, this is an overall advancement over the previous 4 Albums, so I'd say overall Help! is Promising. But we aren't quite at the stage where they cement their position as the greatest Band of all time, but I think it's soon, VERY soon indeed...

🪲🪲🪲🪲

Once more I do wanna get into the Sillay Time that is their Movies, but I'm focusing on the Albums first and will do a reccy for missed Notable Songs and other media if I can get my paws on 'em ¬w¬;; - But what'll come next is exciting and not quite what is on the underside of shoes by spelling differences. That's right, Rubber Soul!

[casliveblog]

Custom Toonami Block Week 160 Rundown

Spy X Family: This one’s a relatively serious affair focusing on Yuri tailing a guy that’s forging propaganda which seems like a lot of work considering if you can’t find a government doing something shitty, especially one of these turn of the century police states, you’re probably not looking hard enough. Still it’s a nice change of pace for this to be pretty light on comedy and have Yuri methodically watch this guy be a douche but someone that cares about his family and arrest the guy but still want to help his family at the end of the day. It’s also a neat little release that when he goes to visit Yor Anya basically reads the whole episode from his mind and feels sorry for him and basically all his logic goes out the window once Yor praises him. The remainder of the episode is a little short of the in-universe tv show Bondman basically making itself a harem anime like ‘The 100 Girlfriends and the Spy who really really really really really really loved them’ and it’s just becoming more and more questionable that this is where Anya’s worldview comes from, maybe she’d be better off watching Becky’s soap operas after all, though at least Bondman does still promote a sense of borderless globalism and peace which has got to be a hard sell in this world specifically but it’s a good influence on kids like Anya who are going to grow up healing from decades of nationalism and war. Then there’s also like three 4koma-ass omake style things with quick jokes, they’re okay, never been a huge fan of the 4koma style since they kinda reuse punchlines for effect and don’t have as much setup.

Inuyasha: It’s a “Kagome returns to the present” episode with some ‘Inuyasha talked about Kikyo for five seconds so Kagome’s moody’ thrown in honestly these are usually pretty solid comedy-wise though this one does kinda suffer from getting caught in the Kikyo spiral that’s been getting less and less coherent as Kagome’s character’s developed and they continue to get mad at Inuyasha for… being happy she’s not literally dead? Either way it’s got some good physical comedy of Inuyasha trying to fix a bike that has the same vibes as the ‘Goku doing normal shit with the powers of a god’ episodes of DBZ which is always a treat, and apparently for some reason he can’t use the Adamant Barrage in the present which I don’t think was ever explained but it’s fine since the present basically doesn’t exist in canon past a certain point so the filler can say whatever it wants. The other half of the comedy comes from Kagome’s friends wanting to meet Inuyasha and finally seeing him and… kinda having a completely normal conversation with him by complete accident, like Inuyasha’s chill/oblivious enough to not say anything too stupid and it’s really funny how they recognize him from the cultural festival arc like the filler’s been quietly having its own story about Kagome’s friends learning more about her exploits and it’s a nice little throughline even if it doesn’t amount to anything, though it does draw a more clear line around the Inuyasha/Kagome/Hojo love triangle they had in the beginning since Kagome has officially confessed to Inuyasha at this point and her friends draw a line that despite not entirely being sure about Inuyasha they like him well enough and Hojo is officially out. I’ve said it before but I really wanted Yashahime to give us a well-adapted Hojo with a cool wife that loves him because he’s a sweet boy and did not deserve all the romantic yanking around this story gave him.

Yu Yu Hakusho: It’s time for Yomi versus Shura and this didn’t go how I thought it would at all. Like I don’t remember this arc very well and only saw a couple episodes of it to begin with but yeah, Yomi vs Shura is just a series of DBZ moves with Yomi going ‘DO YOU YIELD!?’ and beating the shit out of his child in a more mild recreation of that scene from Invincible. Shura has the shonen protagonist spirt and doesn’t back down but Yomi’s eventually just like ‘bro I am literally going to kill you if you say you won’t give up one more time’ and Shura gives up so like… what was the point of any of that? Like Yomi was going easy on him to teach him shit but didn’t really teach him anything and Shura’s spirit is admirable but gets broken at the end so like what was the point of the ‘I have a secret son who’s super strong I swear’ plotline? Like the reason I didn’t predict things going this way was because… it kinda doesn’t make sense, like the new mystery character is supposed to have an impact on the tournament not get kicked out before it starts, this’d be like if that guy with Dakrai got beaten before he even got to fight Ash. I don’t know I’m just kinda confused about where the arc is going and Yusuke fights a giant cat demon for like five seconds, like it feels like the arc doesn’t have a lot of time but it keeps inventing filler fights to pad things out anyway.

Jujutsu Kaisen: Geto squares off against Megumi Sr. to avenge Riko and turns out JJH has the same flaw back then that it does now where if you’re just some dude and know where to look you can kinda just walk right in and since Megumi Sr. is the ultimate love child of Rock Lee and Tenten and is able to hide his pocket dimension spirit like he’s smuggling drugs at an airport terminal, he can just poke his head right in no problem. You’d think they’d fix that flaw considering it’s the exact same one Mahito used to steal the fingers and the womb brothers. But yeah Megumi Sr. kicks Geto’s ass, considering his two major losses are this and a kid with an angry girlfriend and two weeks of sword training I’m starting to doubt his claim to being the ‘strongest’ with Gojo. Megudad delivers Riko’s body to the crazy cult and picks up his money and FUCKING GOJO is just standing outside the building like ‘sup’ like he’s still covered in his own blood and shit and it’s great cause he’s just high off his ass like full Gear Fifth laughing and not caring about anything. Turns out Gojo works on Aizen rules and almost dying makes him stronger because it let him figure out the healing techniques and considering that’s a whole half of his power that just opened up plus the fact he can multiply that half with the half he already had to be exponentially stronger he’s gonna kick Megumi Sr’s ass with the power of MATH. Just a full on SAO Abridged ‘MY NUMBERS ARE HIGHER THAN YOURS’ deal and he blows Dadgumi a new chest hole, between this and how Geto’s defeated I think the author just really likes the ‘blow an arm and half their chest off’ pose. He tells Gojo about Megumi on a whim, though maybe for some fleeting pity for his son despite Gojo having every reason to go and kick the kid in the nuts and watch him be sold off to slavery for what his dad did. Still with the final stinger we find Geto’s found Daddad’s cursed spirit and finds Gojo with all the HappyHappyists cheering for him for grabbing Riko’s corpse. Gojo’s just like ‘you know I’m pretty high right now, could probably just murder all these cultist and not be torn up inside about it’ and we show that despite both their foundations being rocked, Geto’s still on the side of not wanting to hurt normal people even as Gojo’s starting to teeter on the edge.

Scott Pilgrim Takes Off: Ramona continues the Great Scott Pilgrim Investigation of whatever the fuck year this is supposed to be, I forget. This time the focus is Lucas Lee, movie star and potential Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater secret character. Now something that’s been going on in the background that I haven’t really mentioned is what appears to be a multidimensional robot feeding Scott’s dumbest acquaintance a script of what is presumably the original Scott Pilgrim series which is now getting made into a movie which would presumably be the original live action movie or at least similar to it. The funny part is Lucas plays Scott instead of himself and they have a good amount of fun with the who plays who deal like Lucas getting in more trouble for dating a 31 year old actress playing a teenager than Scott got in for dating an actual teenager and the whole thing has an Ember Island Players vibe with everyone kind of picking at how their performances are adapted and how things they do are unrealistic in retrospect. There’s a big skateboard fight with paparazzi ninjas because that’s just the kind of series this is, and Ramona gets what she needs to clear Lucas while getting a good flashback of humanizing their relationship. Gotta say though, I mentioned this last time and while the Exes do seem to be entitled jerks who mostly feel they own Ramona, she DOES seem to be REALLY bad at ending relationships and really flighty about who she’s interested in, like she herself claims she’s different now and I have no clue what might’ve caused that change because if it’s just Scott being adorkable I think I’d puke but yeah while it doesn’t really justify creating a whole evil Evangelion council dedicated to claiming dominion of a single American girl, I kinda get the frustration these guys have that engendered that kind of anger if Ramona’s just hopping around without actually communicating the end of these relationships, like girl seems like she’s got some issues.

Ranking of Kings: This one’s a follow-up to last week’s episode about Ouken with his presumably filler friend Fren breaking the Underworld Law about monsters not being allowed above the surface. Long story short he and a bunch of his friends stage his death so he can search and the gist that the guys are like ‘oh yeah it’s over there where Bosse is’ and Fren considers his job done and Desha and Despa are like ‘well we already killed Fren so whoever this guy is giving us helpful info must be an imposter so get out of her losers’. And it’s just like… so many questions, like Fren barely looks monstrous but apparently he’s not allowed on the surface but the bulky probably monstrous order of the underworld knights are? Also like all this for something we could assume the kings could find out on their own like Miranjo’s not a huge secret and they never even establish how Fren found out about her so this could’ve been an email if Desha and Despa were doing their best to look for demon traces idk, even when we get new content from this season it feel like Naruto filler where it’s like ‘here’s a backstory for something that you could’ve assumed was common sense’. The other bit is about the underworld guards training Despa’s fat horse so that’s kind of dumb amusement I guess.

Vinland Saga: Snake gets Thorfinn patched up after his little run-in and gives him a blast of good old Conqueror’s Haki to let him know he means business about trying to kill him so Thorfinn flashes back to Askeladd and unconsciously snaps into battle mode to defend himself, proving to Snake that all his talk about not wanting to live anymore wasn’t true which is more of a shock to Thorfinn than anyone else, since he wonders why he would want to live and why he’s alive at all. The farm doctor treats Thorfinn and gives him a new shirt and gives him the day off and they make a point of saying how Thoffin never says thank you and rarely responds to anyone given growing up on a ship full of pirates that he wanted to murder probably didn’t help his etiquette and social skills. Still when Thorfinn just jumps back in to chopping trees, Einar has enough info now to piece his story together and asks Thorfinn if he’s been to war and if he’s killed anyone. Thorfinn basically gives him the less glib version of the ‘how many breads have you eaten?’ speech and given the time period and Thorfinn’s penchant for killing I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s killed more than he’s eaten breads. He acknowledges that he’s exactly like the people that burned down Einar’s village and he has every right to hate him. That night Einar’s thinking about just snapping Thorfinn’s neck to make himself feel better even though he had nothing to do with it, sort of a revenge by proxy. It’s kind of a neat parallel that now Thorfinn is the one waiting to be killed in his sleep like his first night with Askeladd, though by contrast Thorfinn actually is really asleep and having a nighmare about the grandma from the beginning of the series and all the other people he directly or indirectly murdered and how fighting for his life gradually made him think nothing of killing whether they were innocents or combatants. Einar sees how much the dream is tearing Thorfinn up and how much he regrets killing and realizes that he’s not like the people who killed his family, at least not anymore, and wakes him up. He tells Thorfinn that he won’t ever know if something good can come from living if he dies and he’s definitely in a better place now than he was, so there’s no reason to carry on about wanting to die, and no reason for Einar to hate him directly since he wasn’t responsible for what happened to his village. Thorfinn notably thanks Einar for waking him, showing he definitely is a little better off now and is starting to accept human connection again little by little or at least is willing to make an effort to. Also we see Canute doing cool guy shit around so it’ll be fun to catch up with him next time.

[everythingheard]

justteddyq​:

His throat tautened a little at that initial answer to his assertions, before he swallowed hard and strove to keep his eyes on Faraday’s face. It was what he thought, and so far as he could figure, it was all true. No one had to be a saint to be a good person. If anything, in Teddy’s view, showing some flaws made those better moments stick out brighter; someone who seemed perfect tended to rile his suspicion. Bright lights and dark shadows and all that. With Faraday, it was clear how genuine his care was, even if the gambler did often mask it with nonchalance or crass, blunt language.

Even when the other then offered a teasing remark, Teddy did his best not to look away. He only bit the inside of his lower lip and tried to ignore the warmth rising to freckled cheeks again. In a certain sense, he welcomed the shift to something more somber. As Faraday leaned closer, Teddy mirrored the motion partway, so the older man wouldn’t have to talk too loud. His eyes did widen a little at the admission, though they carried no true surprise. There were all kinds of rough and brash folks out in the world, and a man like Faraday must have rubbed elbows at the card table with quite a few of them.

He only looked away for half a moment as the other man slapped the card down, remembering the lesson that Faraday then mentioned. Teddy tipped his head at first, as he’d already known the man had been making fun of him. It still nagged at him in passing, but not with any real venom; he must indeed have seemed like an ignorant greenhorn to the world of gunfighting, because he actually had been. The straightening afterward slowed to a pause, however, when Faraday offered a reasoning that Teddy didn’t know about. He did remember the lesson, so he supposed he couldn’t fault the gambler for thinking so - but it had still left him rattled, the image of Faraday pointing a gun in his face still haunting that night’s sleep. All the tension and stress of Rose Creek’s preparations had only paled in comparison to the actual fight; both of which, he hoped he’d never have to do again. The reassurance that Faraday didn’t intend on hurting him was a mild relief, on reflection. Especially when he could guess the man hadn’t learned the same lesson from someone with good intentions.

Teddy felt his blush resurface, but it was less of an effort this time to keep his eyes on Faraday. Sure, he’d thought about all of the seven men they’d hired to help free their town from Bogue, but Faraday had been their first wildcard, such a stark contrast against Chisholm’s steadiness and quiet. It hadn’t been until their little lesson that Teddy had seen just how skilled Faraday could be, had made some unfair assumptions of his own. Now that they both knew each other a bit better… Thank the Lord he’d limited his drinking. If he’d kept pace, he might’ve done something unwisely affectionate right there in the saloon. Instead, Teddy just let his hands fidget idly atop the wood, distracted by Faraday’s small smile but still able to meet the other’s gaze. “…Guess I dunno what to say to that. I hope I don’t ever need that kinda lesson again, but… I’m glad I got it. From somebody who at least doesn’t hate me enough to actually shoot me,” he added with a light chuckle, his attempted levity hindered a little by sincere hazel eyes.

When another blush colored Teddy’s cheeks, Joshua was intrigued to find that the eyes meeting his own didn’t dart away, now or in the moment prior. In a way, it reminded him of his interest in his companion’s reactions towards him the night of their ‘ personal gun lesson. ’ All he was sure of was that it wasn’t what he would have expected, and it coaxed a grin to his lips each instance. Funny how the same memory had ultimately played a role in this conversation and the one away from the campfire that night. It wasn’t as if trouble was an unusual place for Joshua to wind up, yet imparting the same trick he had used to espy a way out of it so recently to Teddy had seemed like a good idea at the time — especially since shared whiskey had been involved. Half of him hadn’t quite cared then how the manner in which it was presented may shape an opinion of him, while the other half cared that it could someday act as a key for the other man’s survival ( besides, it got him that bottle, too ). He might have believed that he didn’t care about that first half now, either — except that he must, to explain to Teddy why it had mattered when he hadn’t bothered back then. Son of a bitch.

Teddy’s reply turned Joshua’s musings outward again, a short laugh escaping him at the admittance of not knowing what to say. An offhand comment was ready on the tip of his tongue ( ‘ I’ve got that affect on people ’ or some variation thereof ), only the the beat of quiet, filled primarily by the usual resounding of a rowdy saloon, didn’t lengthen. Instead, the answer continued, and the resumption was just as interesting as what had preceded it: Teddy was glad. He had expected a fresh view of understanding, perhaps, though not that. As Joshua slid his playing card off the counter and slipped it back into his pocket, he fleetingly hoped that Teddy would never again need to witness or participate in the kind of brutality that had overtaken Rose Creek right up until the moment of Bogue’s death. Although the bright, sincere visage across from him didn’t appear to have been darkened by the battle, prolonged exposure to killing could eat away at a man — inflicting it and watching it. Maybe very little was capable of changing the way Teddy viewed the world, yet why risk the possibility of seeing those big eyes dull?

Before he could linger over it for too long, the answer’s conclusion coaxed an expression of bemusement to his face. “D’you really think I hate you? At all?” Joshua wasn’t sure whether Teddy’s statement struck him as humorous or annoying. Maybe both, and both tinged the tone of his voice in-tandem. “’Cause if I did, all that gun lesson would’ve amounted to was me makin’ fun ‘a you. Hell, I sure as shit wouldn’t still be sittin’ here.” The fingers of his left hand curled loosely around the base of his glass, despite the fact that it was empty ( habit and want sure did feel interchangeable at times, didn’t they? ). “Maybe you think I care, but I don’t care that much. And if you believe I do, then that pretty head of yours don’t got me all figured out like you thought.” 

[seiyasabi]

Bulls in the Bronx

(So…. long story short, I’m now a hucow simp. Thanks a lot @/biskywrites and @/dark-side-blog2 for making me this way (ﾉД`) lol, all jokes aside, I wanna suck some tiddy milk from a buff man ;)) Anyways, this is Yandere Hucow(Hubull?) Bokuto x Fem Reader ;0 This fic allows me to flex my farming knowledge lol, bc my grandparents owned ponies and dogs. 

TW: !Noncon!, !dubcon!, creampie!, he hits you twice!, somnophilia!, predator vs prey?, manipulation!, cumflation!, breeding kink!, size kink!, ur a farmhand!, lactation!, tiddie sucking!, Asshole farmer Ushi, etc.. 

Please don’t proceed if any of the above are triggering! Also, sorry if Bokuto is too OOC lol) 

“Bokuto got into the lackweed again,” You can’t suppress the laugh that explodes from your mouth. The idea of the biggest hucow (hubull??) on the ranch freaking out (again), because he’s now dripping milk is hilarious. 

“Where on Earth does he keep finding those damn weeds?” The other farmhand laughs as well, stooping down to fill two buckets with water. 

“I think those grass seeds were cross contaminated, the other hucows also started to lactate a lot more than usual. But, it’s kinda funny that our best breeder is dripping like a heifer,” Chuckling in acknowledgement, you can’t help but feel a pang of pity. Poor Bo, he’s probably really self conscious at the moment. 

“Maybe I should go check on him-” Your coworker almost drops the bucket she’s filling, looking up at you as if you just grew three heads. 

“Why would you do that? Did you forget that he’s going in rut soon?” Frowning, you glance down at the floor in mild shame. 

“Well, yes, but he isn’t supposed to start until next week! Plus, I’m not ovulating right now, so I won’t trigger him,” The other girl thinks for a moment, before nodding slowly. 

“I suppose it’d be fine. If anything, he may calm down if his favourite handler is there,” Nodding, you grab two buckets from the shelf beside you. Squatting down next to your coworker, you place a bucket underneath a faucet, turning the circular handle to the left. A gush of cool water rushes out, quickly filling the plastic pail. Quickly switching it out for the empty one, you wait a few more moments, before turning off the rushing water. Grabbing the handles of the buckets, you lift them whilst standing to your feet, using your legs instead of your back. 

Nodding towards the other girl, you bid her farewell. Turning on your heel, you tromp towards the bull pens. The large red barn is quite a far distance from the shed you were once in, causing you to break out in a light sweat. It doesn’t help that it’s mid spring, causing the farm to be quite warm. 

Setting the buckets down on the dirt ground, you wipe your brow with the back of your hand. Huffing out a deep breath, you quickly move the concrete slab keeping the barn closed away from the sliding door, before shoving it open. The sound of the cowbell on the red and white door handle on the inside clinks noisily, queuing a symphony of deep ‘moos.’ 

Picking up the buckets with bent knees, you hurry inside, relishing the feeling of the barn’s fans on your sweaty skin, “Hey guys, is the barn cool enough for you?” Grumbles and shifting of large bodies are all you get in response, causing you to laugh, “I’ll take that as a yes.”

Gunning it for a certain grey haired bull’s stall, a bright smile makes its way onto your face, “Hey, Koutarou, how’re you feeling?” 

He’s currently laying on his bed of compact hay, tears sliding down his handsome face. His cute ears are droopy, his bell earring not jingling with life like normal. His tears drip between his septum piercing, and drop onto his well defined abdomen, “Not good, (Your Name).” 

With a small gasp, you set down the pails rather harshly, some of the cool liquid sloshing onto the wooden floor. Hurrying towards him, you sit on the prickly ‘mattress,’ “What’s wrong? I heard that you’re lac-” A small sob leaves his lips at your words, causing you to grab his hand reassuringly, “Are the other guys making fun of you? I can go yell at them if you’d like!” 

The buff bull-man sits up, one arm covering his chest self-consciously, “No! They’re not being mean,” He grips your hand almost to the point that it’s painful, “I-it’s just… my chest hurts, real bad.”

Nodding in understanding, you motion towards his covered pecs, “Let me see, Bubs. I’ll see what I can do.”

His face flushes bright red, “But it’s embarrassing!” You shush him sweetly, releasing his hand to coax his arm away from his chest. 

“It’s okay, I won’t make fun of you! I just wanna help you,” After a moment of hesitance, he obeys, revealing his swollen, red nipples. 

The area around his nipples is raised as well, showing just how much his milk is backed up. 

Eyes softening even more, you delicately rub both pecs, “You’re alright, Bubs. This happens to the cows sometimes when we don’t milk them as much as we need to. If you’d like, I can go find a pump!”

“No! I don’t wanna pump!” You jump slightly, and move away from him, only for his hands to trap your own to his chest. More tears gather in his eyes, as he becomes distraught, “I don’t want my milk to go to waste!” 

Taken aback, you nod, although you don’t understand his reasoning, “Kou, why’re you acting like this? You know we don’t get rid of milk, we sell your guys’ milk at the market.” 

He shakes his head, “I don’t want you to sell it. I want you to drink it,” The look of shock on your face is mistaken as disgust, causing him to cry even more, “Do you think I’m weird? Why do you look like that?” Seeing the bull act so sensitive is adorable, but you feel as though you have to comfort him.

“No, no, it’s okay! I’m not weirded out, I’m just surprised. I’ll go get a bucket-”

“No bucket!” Sighing at his weird behaviour, you cock an eyebrow at him. 

“Then how am I supposed to collect it?” A big grin crosses his teary face. 

“Drink from me! I promise I’ll be good!” Shifting in discomfort, an anxious sweat starts to form on your brow. 

“Ahaha, that’s funny, Kou. You know I can’t do that,” More tears well up in his eyes, squeezing your heart painfully, “Don’t look at me like that, Bubs. I don’t think your owner would like me getting so close-” 

“I don’t mind,” Ushijima’s voice booms throughout the barn, scaring the living daylights out of you. Whipping your head around, you make eye contact with the large male, an uncharacteristic smirk on his face, “As long as my star bull is happy, I’m happy.”

Kou releases your hands, only to grab your face, forcing you to look at him, “See! He doesn’t care! Please, (Nickname), please help me! My udders hurt so bad!” 

With Ushijima’s eyes on you, and Koutarou’s sad and pain filled face, you finally relent, “Okay, okay! Don’t freak out, Bubs, I’ll help. You just gotta let me go.” 

He releases you quickly, before shoving your head towards his chest. The jingling of his earring is heard, telling you that his ears are no longer pressed down on the top of his head. You hear heavy footsteps walk away from his stall, probably gathering the bulls to let them graze outside. 

You try to push away from where your head is being smushed, but the bull gives you no leeway, “Why aren’t you drinking?” The male practically whines, as you whack his shoulder lightly. 

“I’m being smothered in between your tiddies, Kou,” You chuckle in slight discomfort, but he finally allows you up. Moving towards his most swollen nipple (the left one), you pinch it between your thumb and forefinger, causing a small stream of milk to come streaming out. 

A small moan leaves the large man’s lips, as he shoves you once again face first into his chest, “Don’t tease, (Nickname), I feel like I’m dying!” A flash of empathy goes through your heart. 

Removing your hand from his nipple, you take a deep breath, and latch yourself onto him.Your chapstick covered lips are soft against his sensitive skin, causing him to keen. When you suckle, a tidal wave of milk bursts into your mouth. Luckily, it doesn’t taste very bad; his milk tastes like vanilla, causing you start to slurp it up like a babe. 

Your one hand kneads his other pec to soothe him, “Fu-fuck, you’re making me feel so good!” You don’t bother trying to say anything, instead, you just suck harder. Your unoccupied hand squeezes his tit that you’re currently nursing on, causing him to pump out more of his yummy milk. 

After a few long moments, you release his nipple. A drop of milk trickles down your chin, which the large bull laughs at. A thick finger wipes off the excess, pushing itself into your mouth. A tender look is in the grey haired man’s eyes, as he kisses your forehead. 

“Thank you, pretty girl. Can you do the other one, please?” Now that he’s no longer in a painfilled state, he’s back to his normal, boyish self. Nodding, you lick your lips, before latching on to his other nipple. He barely chokes back a moan, his hand gripping the back of your head. 

You suck as hard as you can without hurting him, pretending his nipple was a straw to a thick ass milkshake. Between your massaging and sucking, his teat no longer feels as painful as it once did. 

Pulling away, you give him a wry smile, “There, all better. Well, I should pour your water into your trough now,” Standing up with wobbly legs, you move towards the filled buckets. Picking them up one by one, you pour it in with unsteady hands. Why are you so shaky right now? “Well, I should get going now. I hope you feel better later,” You try to walk out of his stall, only to be yanked back into Bokuto’s lap. Both empty pails fall to the ground unceremoniously, clattering loudly through the empty barn. 

“Don’t leave me, Lovely, I need you,” His warm skin against yours feels nice, and you suddenly feel sleepy. 

“Kou, I’m tired. I think-I think I’m gonna take a nap,” He runs his fingers (through your hair/over your scalp), tantalising you into drifting off. 

“That’s alright, (Nickname), I’ll watch after you,” With a muffled ‘Mhm,’ you fall into a deep slumber. 

-

When you awoke, you woke to your body shaking. Brow furrowing, you blearily open your eyes, only to see a tuft of grey hair in between your bent, spread legs. 

His long tongue is currently fucking in and out of your dripping cunt, his thumb rubbing against your clit. 

“Ku-Kou? Wha-“ He looks up immediately, a look of shock on his strong features. 

“I-It’s Not what it looks like! I-I just wanted a taste!” You groggily push at his head, catching his ears slightly, causing a small jingling to sound throughout the empty barn. 

“You didn’t ask, why, why are you-“ He grabs your hand, kissing each knuckle with a slobbering kiss. 

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Let me make you feel good! You taste so good,” You yank your hand back, trying to kick off the hand that currently wrapped around your right thigh. 

“Get off of me! Bokuto, you-you’re doing this without my consent! I thought we were friends!” You shout, pushing at his face harshly. He grabs one of your hands, trying to kiss it, only for your other to clap him upside the face harshly, “Don’t! You’ve already done enough.” 

Kicking him away (even though he’s much larger and stronger than you, meaning he just moved away), you stand to your feet, pulling back up your halfway down jeans and panties. 

Snatching up the buckets previously discarded, you don’t even shoot the crying bull a glance, just turning on your heel, and stomping away. 

Tears of your own drip down your face, humiliation and betrayal weighing down your aching heart. 

Forcefully sliding open the barn doors, you run from it, catching the eye of a certain green haired farmer. 

It seems Bokuto fucked up. 

But that’s okay, when he goes into rut, there’ll be nothing keeping him from breeding you full of his massive calves. 

-

You avoided the bull barn like the plague for the next week. The hucows are very pleasant company. They treat you as if you’re their young, making you feel well loved. 

That is, until Hachi asked you why you’ve been avoiding Bokuto. She’d told you that he hasn’t acted the same, in fact, he’s acted depressed and withdrawn. 

Since then, you’ve stuck with aquatic life. The fish, swans, and ducks don’t give you that much trouble. 

But, when you come back from the pond and fish pools, the farm is ensued with panic. Apparently, Bokuto’s finally gone into rut. 

And, unfortunately for you, he’s on the prowl for you. 

So, when your coworker runs up to you, begging for you to calm him, you turn on your heel, and start walking back towards the pond. They can figure this out themselves, you’re not going to sacrifice yourself to someone who tried to take advantage of you. 

Sadly, that doesn’t work out. 

You’re immediately stopped by Ushijima, his broad form blocking you from advancing forward, “Where do you think you’re going?” His arms are crossed, an angry scowl on his usually handsome features. 

“I forgot something at the pond,” You lie, smoothly, “I’m going to go grab it real quick-” 

“You’ll do nothing of the sort,” His strong voice booms, “What you’re going to do, is march yourself into the barn, and make my prized bull happy.” 

Your own scowl forms on your pretty face, “I will do nothing of the sort. Interspecies sex is illegal! You can fire me for all I care, I’m not going in there!” You try to move around his large form, only to be manhandled into a chokehold.

His left arm is wrapped around your neck, your back to his chest, and your face being held in a large hand, “Interspecies sex is legal when a human and hybrid are mates,” He hisses through gritted teeth, and you struggle in his hold, “If you don’t go in there, I’ll drag you in.” 

“Fuck you,” You spit, “I’ll fucking castrate you!” You kick backwards, landing a solid hit on the large man’s groin. With a loud yell, you’re let go, allowing you to run towards the farm’s parking area. Pulling your truck’s keys from your pocket, you haul ass, not bothering to look behind you. 

The barns and sheds fly past you, as you run through the open field leading to the car park. You suddenly hear loud footsteps follow after you, and you assume that it’s Ushijima, that is, until you hear them, “(Nickname)! (Nickname), where are you going? Why are you running away from me?” Bokuto’s voice rings out at top volume, hurting your ears. His voice a lot more gravely than before, and without looking at him, you know that he most likely looks crazed. 

You don’t respond, trying to pick up the pace. You click the unlock button one time, only unlocking the driver’s side door. Because you had a head start, you cleared the field in less than three seconds, allowing you to hop into your truck, and lock the doors. Shoving the key into the ignition, all whilst buckling your seatbelt, you press on the brake, and turn it, only to hear the spluttering of your failing ignition, “Come on! Don’t do this-” Bokuto slams into the driver’s side door at top speed, rocking your large vehicle harshly. His hands and face are pressed against the window, his expression looking like that of a kicked puppy. You then notice the fact that the buff male is completely naked, his impossibly large cock bobbing against his toned stomach. 

“Why are you trying to leave? I need you so badly, pretty-pretty. Why don’t you open the door, and we can figure this out? I promise I’ll make you feel good, after all, us bulls pride ourselves in taking care of our mates,” You cringe in disgust, not bothering to answer him. Instead, you continue to fiddle with your ignition, muttering expletives under your breath. His large hands start to beat on your driver-side window, trying to gain your attention, “(Nickname), come out already! Ushi already cut your fuel line, so you’re not going anywhere! Come on, I just wanna make you feel good-”

It was your turn to cut him off, “Shut up! We aren’t friends anymore, Bokuto, much less lovers! Just leave me the fuck alone! I’m sure many of the cows would love to help you through your rut, why can’t you just ask them?” Tears of frustration dot your eyelashes, as you pop open your glove box and search for your phone. Catching sight of the black cased (phone type), you snatch it from its confines with a loud ‘Aha,’ “Don’t make me call the Farmer’s Union, Bokuto. I’ll report you and Ushijima for-”

“You won’t! You love me too much!” His frantic words raise in volume, as he hit the glass even harder than before, “You wouldn’t put me down! Come on, (Nickname), why won’t you call me ‘Bubs’ anymore? I love you!” You swipe open your phone, and go to the contacts. Pulling up the Farmer’s Union phone number, you go to press ‘call,’ only for the shattering of glass to halt you. 

You scream in both fear and shock, throwing up your hands to protect your face. This, in turn, causes you to drop your phone. In this time, Bokuto is able to grab you by your arms, and drag you towards the broken window. Your seatbelt keeps you in place, causing him to pull you even harder, and making you scream in pain. 

You use your arm to whack his against the broken glass on your truck’s window area. He releases you in a moment of pain, allowing you to unbuckle yourself, and throw yourself to the passenger side. Once there, you unlock the door, and bolt towards the road. 

“(Your Name), come back here! Stop being so difficult!” You pay him no mind, a few meters away from the busy road. Noticing a car speeding towards the area you’re running to, you push yourself even harder, trying to throw yourself into the road. Unfortunately, you’re grabbed by two buff arms that encircle your waist. They use all of their strength to smash you into their chest from behind, knocking the air from your lungs, “Are you crazy? You could’ve been hurt!” You thrash and try to bite at him, causing Bokuto to backhand you across the face, “Now look what you made me do! If you’d been good, I wouldn’t have had to do that!”

To be completely honest, you’re in shock. Bokuto has never raised a hand at you, and that slap wasn’t a warning tap. No, that was him using a good majority of his strength, causing your cheek to throb painfully. 

You continue to thrash and curse after freezing for a moment, drawing the eyes of concerned coworkers, “Let go of me! What the fuck is wrong with you? Put me down!” You try to kick him in the junk, only to kick him on the inside of his thigh. In retaliation, he backhands you again, this time on the other cheek. Gasps and whispers are heard from those around you, drawing the large hucow’s eyes. 

“There’s nothing to see here, guys! Just my mate making a scene,” He shakes you a bit to shut you up, causing you to become disoriented. The farmhands and other hybrids look like they’re about to step in, only for Ushijima himself to show up. 

“What Bokuto said is correct,” His harsh gaze is on you, his hand gripping his dick, “She’s just making a scene. Let them through.”

They reluctantly go back to their business, as Koutarou guns it to the empty bull barn. Ushijima only watches as you’re dragged to the large building, as tears drip down your face in fear, and his fist at his side clenches in fury.

Stomping into the barn, Bokuto makes quick work of getting to his stall. Once inside, he tosses you on the hay mattress, and straddles your waist. With pawing hands, he rips your t-shirt and jeans off of you, leaving you in your bra and underwear, along with your boots and socks. Yanking off your boots, be tossed them out of his ‘room,’ as you try to throw punches at his muscular chest. He grunts, but doesn’t stop. 

With beefy fingers, he yanks off your bra, ripping it in two. Your tits jiggle at his harsh movements, making him lick his lips in enjoyment. He then rips off your cotton panties, exposing your cunny to his hungry eyes. 

“You’re beautiful, pretty-pretty. I can’t wait to see you stuffed with my calves,” You shake your head no rapidly, pushing his hands away from where they rest on your hips. 

“No! Stop it, Bokuto! I thought we were friends!” He tightens his grip on your pelvis, forcing your legs open. 

“That’s Not my name, (Nickname), you know that. Now, you know that I’m way more than just your friend-I’m your mate, and you know that I’ll provide for you and our calves,” With grubby fingers, he rubs at your clit, trying to draw a good reaction from you.

You squirm in response, trying to wriggle out of his one handed grip. You shove at his chest, but he remains unmoved, choosing to press down harder than before, “Stop it! Let me go!” 

He inserts his middle finger into your moist cunny, forcing it in and out. You try to kick him in the head only for him to catch your leg with the hand that previously held your hip, “If you wanted me to eat you out that bad, you should’ve just said so, pretty girl,” Before you can refuse, he throws your legs over his shoulders, and dives in. 

His long tongue fucks in and out of your hole, one of his thumbs rubbing your clit. A loud whine escapes your throat before you can stop it, making you feel a wave of disgust for yourself. Bokuto shouldn’t be making you feel good, he’s assaulting you, after all. 

But, when his tongue brushed against your g-spot, you can’t help but convulse in pleasure. Thighs quaking, you try to stop yourself from cumming. 

“St-stop! I’m, I’m gonna-“ He stops before you can cum, instead, pushing your hips down to where his cock lays against his abs. Forcing the bulbous head against your tiny hole, he pushes harshly, trying to fuck into you like an animal, “No! No! You’re too big! You’re going to tear my-“ With one powerful thrust, he forces his way inside, and you can’t help but scream. 

Tears drip down your face at the feeling, your pussy feeling like it’s been ripped open. Bokuto grabs your head, and forces it against his chest, practically making you take one of his pink nipples into your mouth. You’re immediately met with the taste of his vanilla milk, drinking it up as the hucow starts to buck into you at a lightning fast pace. 

Your teeth bite down on his nipple, but instead of being angry, he just moans in lust, “Yes! Yes, pretty girl, you’re taking me so well!” 

His hand that isn’t cradling your head goes to your tummy, feeling his huge length moving underneath your skin. He presses down a bit, causing another wanton moan to leave to both of you. With this thought in mind, he picks up the pace, practically fucking you into unconsciousness. 

Eyes rolling back, your ruined cunny gushed pathetically, coating you and the bull with your juices, “(Nickname), you’re so pretty when you cum,” He continues his breakneck pace, getting close to orgasm himself, “I’m gonna fill you up so good, that you’ll be dripping with my fun for days! Your little womb will be bloated with my fertile cum!” 

You try to speak, but you can’t, just continuing to suck his yummy milk from his teat. Walls fluttering with another orgasm, you feel yourself clamping down on his enormous cock. 

With one last mighty thrust, he seats himself fully inside of you, cumming directly against your unprotected cervix. A muffled scream erupts from your chest, as you feel your womb expand with copious amounts of beeile cum. Releasing his nipple, you throw your head back, a loud cry echoes throughout the barn, as you squirt once more around his cock. 

Now completely filled to the brim, you pass out from the trauma. Entirely exhausted, Koutarou grins down at your bloated form. He rubs your tummy like a Buddha statue, kissing it tenderly. 

“You’ll be a good Mommy, I’m sure of it,” he then trails his hand up your abdomen, groping your right tit, “You’ll look so pretty all milky and filled with my calves.” 

The sound of a throat clearing gains Bokuto’s attention, as he practically throws his naked body over yours. A loud ‘moo’ of warning escapes his chest, even when he notices that the person is just Ushijima. 

“I see that she mates with you well,” His eyes trail over your sleeping face, not straying downwards, “I hope this means that you’ll enter more shows.” 

Bo smiles, “Yes. Now I need to show off, so my mate thinks I’m an eligible male.” 

Nodding, Ushijima turns on his heal, making his way to leave the barn, “I hope your children take after you in strength. (Your Name) is a lot prettier than you are, so maybe they’ll be pleasing to the eye as well.” 

Snorting, the grey haired man’s ears twitch, jingling throughout the room, “You bet she is. She’s perfect.” 

[priortoallthoughts]

Don’t Mess With the Commander’s Caf

(or do, because it’s gotten you this far)

Rating: T

Word Count: 3.6k

Pairing: Commander Fox x afab!reader

Warnings: Mild swearing; gets a bit spicy at the end but nothing explicit.

Summary: What is supposed to be a night out at 79s turns into a night in the drunk tank, and the morning starts a startling new relationship with a certain Coruscant Guard Commander. All over a cup of caf.

// [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5]

Masterlist

A night out in Coruscant is never complete for you without going to the clone bar, 79s. You may pre-game somewhere else, but you always end up there, recognizable as one of their regulars. You love the atmosphere, honestly. It’s so jovial, just vode – and weren’t you surprised when you found out that clones spoke a different language with each other – coming to forget the war for a night. Living life as much as they could. You’ve picked up a few words of theirs purely because you hear them so often. Many a curse word too, which are your favorites.

And they were about to be put to good use.

You’re already buzzed and walking with a group of grey-clad troopers that had pulled you into their group when they saw you walking alone. You chat easily with them even though you never met them before. That’s the funny thing about being sociable when you’re sober – you’re even more chatty when you drink. And giggly apparently, considering you couldn’t stop laughing at the mission gone wonky they were telling you about.

When 79s came into view your smile widens. There really is nothing like the neon lights and bass you can already hear resonating from inside. Were there probably millions of places just like in on Coruscant already? Sure. But there isn’t anywhere aside from 79s you could find this kind of ambiance.

There is one downside that pisses you off like no other though.

There’s yelling coming from over by the speeder-way and when you look over, another civilian is getting in the face of a Coruscant guard member. The frown the graces your face feels wrong after laughing so much, but you can’t help it. You pause in your tracks. Usually when you see this kinda shit it deescalates fairly quickly, but this civilian is getting louder and more violent the more the (admittedly nervous acting) guard tried to calm him down.

“Hey.” A hand lands on your shoulder and you look up to see one of your group. “We can’t do anything. The punishment would be too harsh and that civvie chakaar won’t even get a slap on the wrist.”

Your frown turns into a snarl. “You can’t do anything.”

Fishing your flask out of your jacket pocket you take a swig before shoving it into the chest of the closest trooper. The steady click of your heels is the only thing you can hear over the growing volume of yelling.

“Hey! Shabuir in the stupid shirt!” Your own yell interrupts.

You have exactly one second to reconsider things before you think about all the vitriol this jackass is spewing at the guard for nothing. The sound of your fist hitting his face is the most satisfying thing you’ve heard tonight, along with the yelp he lets out when he hits the ground.

“What the kriff is your problem, bitch?!”

“You talking shit about this trooper is my problem!”

He turns towards the guard again and the trooper flinches. “I want her arrested for battery!”

You lean down to grab his collar and shake him out. “Oh, so now you want him to do his job? The one you were just belittling him for? Can’t have it both ways, chakaar!”

“Let go of me!”

You drop him so suddenly that his head cracks against the ground. He scrambles to his feet and points a finger at you. “You’ll regret this! They’re nothing but meat-droids!”

“Say that again, you little pissant. I dare you.” You go to take a step forward but he’s already running away. A hand on your shoulder again makes you look over to the one you defended.

“I’m sorry, ma’am.” And he does sound sorry. “I will have to take you in tonight. I… can’t ignore you attacking someone right in front of me.”

You smile at him. “No problem, trooper. Do your job; I don’t want you getting in trouble.” You offer your wrists to him and next thing you know they’re in a pair of binders behind your back and you’re being placed in the back of a speeder.

“A night in the drunk tank should sort you out.”

The smile you give him is blinding, because not only do you know that’s not the proper booking for what you just did, at least you look cute while you’re being taken away.

---

When you wake up in your cell (lucky you’re the only one there) you’re beyond tired and in desperate need of some caf. You can’t function without it in the morning.

There’s a guard member who lets you out not long after you get up. You follow him like a zombie. Presumably he’s leading you out of all the twisting hallways, but you stop short when your nose picks up the distinct smell of caf.

But not just any caf. You know the smell of Death Wish anywhere.

Your favorite.

You follow your nose to a mess hall – sparsely populated but still enough that everyone stops what they’re doing to look at you as you make your way to the caf machines in the back. You’re basically falling asleep as you walk so you don’t notice. Maybe you should care, considering you’re still wearing your clubbing outfit from last night, but no, you don’t actually care.

When you get there you see two different machines. One is labeled with some cheap, generic caf name and the other is simply “Fox’s Starfighter Fuel.”

You grab a flimsi cup and fill it with the second one. No cream. No sugar.

No life, only caf.

You finally notice how deathly quite it is as you take your first sip and turn around. There’s one trooper standing in front of you, helmet tucked under his arm, and the most severe look you’ve ever seen before gracing his features. You look him over with half-lidded eyes, noticing he’s dressed differently than the others, and casually take another sip of caf.

“You must be Fox.”

“Civilians aren’t allowed in this part of the building, who let you in here?”

Still waiting for the caf to kick in, you shrug. “Spent the night in the tank. No one stopped me when I walked in.”

Fox turns to glare at everyone sitting at the tables. They all look down at their food like they weren’t obviously watching and someone starts whistling.

“You need to leave,” he says when he turns back around.

“Can I finish my caf first?” You ask, taking more sips hoping to stall.

He glowers even more. “That’s not even your caf!”

“Shame.” You chug the rest of the still mostly full cup and coughs wrack your chest when you finish. “I think I just burned my esophagus,” you rasp.

“Get out.”

“That’s completely fair.”

You toss your cup in the trash on the way out. Turning the way you were going before you got distracted, you make your way to the exit; no need to bring the wrath of Fox down on you for sticking around. You feel like, once again, you get off light and dont’t want to press your luck. The smile that graces your face as you step outside is probably a strange thing for anyone else to see considering you’re walking out of jail, but you had a good night, and the morning is shaping up to follow suit.

---

The next day you walk into the caf shop you normally stop at on the way to work. The barista behind the counter waves as you walk up. “Your usual, hun?”

“You know me,” you smile brightly, “but, uh, can you make it two?”

Her eyes widen. “I can’t imagine the morning you’re expecting to have!”

You laugh and wave her off. “Nothing bad. I owe someone a cup.”

“You mean someone else drinks this sludge?”

“Imagine my surprise. And it’s not that bad!”

She places two large flimsi cups in front of you. Your hands rub together nervously before you get your thoughts together. “Can I borrow your marker?”

She hands it to you with a raised eyebrow and you quickly scribble a few words on one of the cups. It isn’t a lot, and it completely gives away who you are without having to sign your name, so you hope it’s okay.

“Thanks, gotta run!” You scurry out of the door before the barista can ask anything about what you’re doing.

You aren’t even sure yourself if you were being completely honest. The Coruscant Guard building is a little out of your way from your route to work, but you leave early in the mornings anyway, so you can still make it in time even with the detour. You feel a bit nervous walking in this time. Where did all your confidence from yesterday go?

You flag down the first trooper you see that doesn’t look busy.

“Can you give this to Fox, please?” You hold out the cup for him to take.

He doesn’t.

He only stands there, and you imagine he’s making a face behind his helmet because he doesn’t say anything either.

After a few seconds of silence you lower the cup awkwardly. “Uhh, oh, sorry, am I allowed to bring caf?”

“Why are you bringing the Commander caf?” He finally asks.

You squeeze the cups so much the tops almost pops off. “Fox is a commander?”

“Commander Fox is head of the Coruscant Guard, ma’am.”

The top of your own cup does pop off this time, but nothing spills.

“The entire guard?” You squeak.

“Yes, ma’am.”

Heat is quick to crawl up your face. “Oh stars, I can’t believe I took his caf.” Your internal panic is quickly becoming external as you try not to drop either cup. You hid your face behind one in embarrassment.

“Wait.” The guard member tilts his head. “You’re the one they were talking about yesterday? The girl from the mess hall?”

There’s a few second where nothing but incomprehensible noises come out of your mouth, but you finally get out, “how many people know about that?!”

“It’s made its way around.”

“I’m gonna - kriff - go throw myself off the senate building I swear-“

You’re cut off by the sound of a chuckle and you snap your head up to see the guard member’s shoulders shaking. “So you’re not trying to poison the Commander, huh?”

“No!” You yelp, but quiet down after you see others turn to look at you. “I was just trying to repay the caf I drank! We like the same kind!”

“That’s disgusting.”

“Can you please just give this to him before I die of embarrassment? You’re killing me here!”

He laughs again and finally takes the cup from your shaking hands. “Who should I say it’s from?”

You slap a hand over your face to hide your grimace. “At this point I’d rather not tell you. I want to keep some of my dignity intact,” you mutter.

“Nobody’s dignity is intact here, ma’am.”

“Oh… joy.”

“You best be on your way then.”

He is giving you an out and you’re taking it in full.

“Have a good day,” you say as you turn, the only proof you’ve been there being one guard member and a note on a flimsi cup.

“Sorry for taking your caf yesterday.”

---

One week later you find yourself standing outside of the caf shop, once again with two cups in hand through no fault of your own. It makes you think that maybe another trip to the Coruscant Guard building wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Why waste a perfectly good drink after all?

You pause immediately when you step through the door, because the man you’re looking for is standing across the room talking to someone with a datapad in hand. The decision on whether to interrupt is made for you when the person he’s talking to looks over and spots you.

He waves and Fox finally looks over as well, tilting his head as he does so. You take a deep breath before walking over to them.

“Caf girl!”

You raised your eyebrow at the other trooper. “I really am known around here for that, aren’t I?” You say as you stop in front of them. You have a sneaking suspicion that he is the same one you talked to last week.

“Well you never gave me your name,” he shrugs.

Yeah, it’s him.

Your head snaps to Fox, however, when he addresses you.

“You know my name?”

“Your information was processed and put into the system when you spent the night in the tank.”

“Osik,” you mutter.

“Did you need something?” He asks.

You perk up some, and hold out the second drink in your hand. “Right, there was a mixup at the caf shop, and I got an extra drink. I thought you might like it.”

He takes it carefully, but your bare fingers still brush against his gloved ones. They tingle when you pull away, and while the heat on your palm from holding the hot cup fades, the heat in your fingertips does not. You have the sudden urge to find out what holding his hand feels like, but you push that thought down along with the blush you can feel rising. Now isn’t the time. You have to get to work. Maybe if you come by earlier next time….. would there be a next time?

“Thank you. I… appreciate the thought.” You think you hear him trip over his words, but there’s no way.

You smile brightly at him. “You’re welcome!” You check the time on your chrono. “Looks like I gotta bounce. Enjoy your caf, Commander!”

Your retreat is quick, but hells if you don’t add a little extra sway to your hips as you walk out the doors.

And scribbled on the cup now in Fox’s hand is:

“I know day old caf when I taste it. Fresh is better.”

---

You start to bring Fox caf every week.

“This has become part of my routine, so I hope you don’t mind.”

Every week turns into every few days.

“Your filing system is horrifying but at least your chair is comfy.”

Every few days turns into every day.

“Tell Thorn that if he sees me at 79s tonight, he can’t arrest me just so I’ll hang out with him.”

And leaving early just to see Fox is the best part of your day no matter what. You hope you’re not the only one who feels like this. That maybe as you walk to the Guard building in the morning, you’re not the only one smiling and counting down the minutes until you get to Fox’s office. He never turns you away, and he’s always there to take the extra caf from your hands if he can be. Sometimes you have to leave it on his desk if he’s not in, but you understand that his job isn’t easy by any stretch of the word.

He is in this morning, however, seeing as the door opens promptly at your knock. He sits behind his desk, a few data pads already stacked next to him and a frown marring his face. That won’t do.

“Credit for your thoughts?” You say as you set his caf down next to his helmet and lean against his desk.

Fox looks up and gives you a tired smile, unaware of how it makes your stomach flutter. “Shaping up to be a long day.”

“Giving yourself more grey hairs already?” You say, giving a pointed look to his already greying sides.

“Like I need any more,” he huffs.

“I dunno,” you reach up and run your fingers lightly through his short curls, “I think they make you look distinguished.”

He lets out a breath you didn’t know he had been holding. “At least one of us thinks so.”

“It’s okay, I can like it enough for the both of us.”

“Should I count myself lucky then?” He smirks, finally taking a sip of his caf and sighing contently into the cup.

You give him a cheeky grin. “You should.”

He looks at you then, not saying anything, and you can’t help the flush you feel crawling up your face. You swear, you had never blushed so much around anyone before you met him. You distract yourself by drinking your own caf, the liquid welcome to your suddenly dry mouth.

“I do.”

“What?” Your head snaps back up to him and he’s still looking at you, but not in a way you’ve seen before.

“I do count myself lucky.”

You look away shyly, a small smile forming at the corners of your mouth. Sure, you two have been lightly flirting with each other, or at at least you’re definitely flirting with him, but this is the most straight-forward thing he’s ever said to you.

“It’s a good thing I got myself arrested that night then, isn’t it?”

It’s uncharted territory, where this conversation is heading. The thought of what it could be sits low in your belly and causes you to let out a shakey breath.

“It’s quite the holovid to watch,” he says offhandedly.

You’re lucky you aren’t drinking your caf, otherwise you would have spit it everywhere. You turn your head so hard you think you give yourself whiplash, mouth agape, looking at him in wide-eyed mortification.

“There’s a holo of that?!” The pitch of your voice would be embarrassing if you weren’t in the middle of spontaneously combusting on the inside.

He nods empathetically, which is shit because you know for damn sure he’s not empathetic about it; he’s having too much fun with this. You know he is, with that stupid, heart-stopping smirk playing on his face.

“Our HUDs record each incident for our files to make sure everything matches up with the reports.”

“Nooooooooooooo,” you whine quietly into your hands that now cover your face. You hear him get up and move to stand in front of you, but you don’t react. Mainly because you have no idea what he’s doing, but also he’s so kriffing close you can barely handle it.

His pries your hands from your face and presses them to his desk, effectively caging you in. He’s even closer now, and you’re hyper aware of how hard your heart is pounding even though you stop breathing. It’s the last thing from threatening, but you’re still frozen.

He leans in so his mouth is right next to your ear. “You look good in that little red dress of yours,” he whispers, his voice octaves lower than before. “Especially when you’re beating the kark out of a civvie – standing up for my vod.” It sends a pleasurable shiver down your spine and straight to your ovaries.

You suck in a breath when he pulls away. This is much more than you could have expected. “You’re not giving me much incentive to not be arrested again,” you tilt your head, “now that I know you’d be watching.”

“Always watching you, cyare.”

You hum, pulling one hand away from his to run up his armor and trace lightly over his jaw. “Gonna have to try harder to get a pair of binders on me next time, then.”

“Would you run?”

“Only if you’re the one chasing me.”

You move your hand from his jaw to the back of his neck and scratch lightly, feeling more than seeing him shiver under your fingertips.

“I’d find you.”

“Oh, I’d be counting on it, Commander.”

It’s a mutual surge that leads you two to lean in, culminating in the most charged kiss you’ve ever received. You throw your other hand around his neck, holding him as close as you can, while his hands latch onto your hips, pulling you up and into his embrace. He leads you back until he’s sitting in his chair and the next thing you know you’re falling into his lap to straddle him. You break for air, and to process that yes, this is happening, before you’re kissing again. A little slower; a little deeper.

You moan quietly into his mouth, and his hands move to your ass so he can pull you even closer.

There’s a chime from your chrono and you pull away, panting.

Fox’s eyes are dark and hungry when he looks at you. “You have to go soon.”

You nod, not breaking eye contact, and not moving either.

He grins, and it looks absolutely predatory. He slides the top of your blouse down slowly, just enough for his mouth to latch on to you right above your collarbone. You let out another breathy moan, and his teeth graze your skin in response as he sucks harder. His tongue soothes the area over when he lets go, and he looks at the quickly darkening spot with what you can only assume is possessive pride.

“For you to remember,” he says huskily.

Knowing he’s just staked his claim on you stokes the fire inside you even more. You give him your own feral grin, and pull down the collar of his blacks as he stiffens. “Who am I to allow you to forget, then?”

You suck hard at the column of his throat, higher than he did on you, knowing it would still be covered. You taste the sweat that had been building up, and his skin which you can’t even describe except that it tastes like him.

He groans lowly into your ear and you shiver when you pull away. You drag your nail lightly over the dark bruise in satisfaction before pulling his collar back up.

You slide off his armored thighs slowly. He follows you to stand, and gives you one last, long, kiss.

“Until next time, cyare.”

When you leave his office, you wish you had written something more on his cup than a crudely drawn fox with a smiley face next to it. Tomorrow though, you wonder what you can get away with saying.

“Next time I’m wearing that little red dress, feel free to search me. Who knows what I could be hiding.”

[no-psi-nan]

Oof... Okay, I'll grade this trope for you, @remusbeingnormalwouldbeweird...

I understand why drunken confessions have appeal: it's all about "I love you so much and because of that I'm so scared to ruin what we have in case you don't feel the same way, and the only way I could ever risk ruining things is if I was under the influence", and also sometimes the mild angst the next morning of "OMG did I really do that?? What if I ruined everything??".

However,,,, I think it's an enormous cop-out in-fiction from both the writer's and the reader's perspective, rip.

Imo, it's a really lazy way to "skip to the end" of a romance, except that if there's drunkenness involved then the characters can't even be overcome with passion or w/e without there being consent issues (often hand-waved away with "oh they are not really that drunk any more so they can totally have wholesome lemons no problem", which again, is a cop-out by the writer).

Or there will be the drunken confession to the more sober party, who either basically says "you're drunk, go home" or stays up all night wondering if it's true or not etc, and then it all comes out properly in the morning. Better, I guess, but still disappointing tbh.

After all, the fact that the character needed liquid courage to do anything about their love has gotta be kinda sad to the recipient. Who only wants to be flirted with by someone who's drunk?? You can't even tell if they're freaking serious about it or not.

Even the morning after, when there's sober confessions, from a Watsonian perspective it's like...

Okay so if you hadn't gotten drunk, you still wouldn't have said anything about this? So you're not truly ready to be together then, with all the changes and consequences that it's going to carry, are you?

or

You don't even know me well enough to figure out that I obviously like you back but you couldn't wait to be more certain and just got drunk to accelerate things?

Obviously those things usually get hand-waved away by the writer (😮‍💨) but as a reader, I personally always end up thinking this kind of thing just from empathizing with the character. And tbh these aren't great feelings to have about a romantic partner, much less as the basis for a relationship!

So based on all that, I'm forced to give this trope a D...

A much better confession trope, imo, is the other character doing something sooo sweet or funny or insane that the other person literally can't help but blurt out that they're in love, even though they've been working so hard to shut the fuck up for ages. And with both of them fully mentally online, they can immediately make out about it... And maybe more. 😏

[Context for ask] <- open for more of these btw!

[stardustincarnate]

EARLY TRYST // Light Yagami x Reader

word count : 4534 genre : fluff <333 ! crack-ish, pre-kira!light, all that  mushy mushy stuff, best friends to lovers because who doesn’t love that trope?

a/n : i’m not sure if i’ve posted this here before but i’m fairly certain that i haven’t oh godric you’ll have to forgive me if i had  --

Who wakes up 5:00 early on a Saturday morning just to bug their neighbor to have a match with them?

Technically, you did. You were bored, and the first thing that came to your mind was playing your favorite sport with one of your bestfriends, who's also your neighbor, Light. Surely he wouldn't mind, would he? But it mattered not since he also did the same to you back then, insisting you two bike together just because he wanted a companion and knew you wouldn't refuse. You were hella pissed even so, and now it's your turn to get revenge.

You brought a ladder, placing it just enough to reach the window to his bedroom on the second floor. You eventually climbed up, practically pressing your face against  the window to get a clearer sight of him sleeping peacefully on his bed, his angelic face barely visible as it was partially covered with his blanket.

'Say goodbye to your sweet dreams, lover boy.'

You thought and knocked on the window loud enough for him to hear. Your first tries were futile so you knocked a little louder and more violent. To his dismay, Light woke up with a teeny-bit of panic in his chest. Creasing his eyebrow and squinting his eyes, he looked at the window, seeing a familiar figure. You snickered as he awakened, languidly making his way to the window, an irritated look on his face when he met your eyes.

He opened the window. "[Y/N], what the hell are you doing here? What time is it?"

"About time for you to play with me."

"Huh? Play with you? You're acting strangely childish. I was still sleeping." He clicked his tongue. You chuckled and shook your head. "Aw, sleeping beauty is upset because his dream was left unfinished. Don't worry, his dashing savior is here to make him feel better."

"You mean worse."

"Bad!" You playfully punched his shoulder. "Says the one who still has sleep in his eyes."

"Of course I have. You just woke me up." He scowled, turning his back at you and rubbing the sleep from his eyes, his face a little flushed.

"Heh, don't be shy!" You teased, wobbling a little in your position.

"I'm not shy! Tch, seriously though, you're in a ladder? You only made it harder for yourself when you could've just knocked on the main door. Mom and dad are already awake. They'd let you in."

"Eh? But I was shy- you know- err, how am I supposed to say 'Can I go to Light's room or something?'" You blushed a little. He hummed in response and gave an understanding look. "Come on in."

"I can't fit in here- just meet me outside. I'll wait for ya."

"You got yourself in this so don't turn back now. You can fit but in another position." Before you could reply, he suddenly grabbed your arms and indicated you to push your head inside. You did, whimpering as he pulled you in by grabbing you by the armpits, your faces almost bumping in the process. You gave a squeal as you felt your feet of the ladder, causing you to grip him tighter, almost hugging him-or maybe even inhaling him.

For a better description you basically looked like a flying fish from outside who's getting devoured by a portal.

With all his might, Light pulled you in until your whole body finally got inside. Of course, as he was secretly anticipating to, you both fell on the ground, with you on top of him, your head against his chest.

You immediately stood up and accidentally stepped on his ankle, resulting a loud whimper from him.

"Oof."

"That hurt, you know."

"Sorry. But-" You both heard a loud crash from outside. You were certain that the ladder you used had fallen, and it was so loud you swore some of your neighbors woke up. "...As I was saying... That was a dangerous way to get me inside. I could've fallen."

"Too bad you didn't."

"How rude!" You scoffed. You jauntily walked towards his bed, flopping down as if it's your own. It felt so soft, and it kinda smelled like him too.

You closed your eyes and spread your arms. His expression softened that he couldn't hide a smile which you thankfully didn't see. He cleared his throat and picked up a pillow, throwing it at your face.

"Hey, I'll go get some coffee. Want some?"

"I've already drank one, but sure!"

"No wonder you're already so hyper. Now get out of my bed."

"Fine." You scoffed and got up, walking behind him on the way downstairs, making yourself smaller so they wouldn't notice.

"Light! You're up early." Sachiko greeted.

"Yeah, and it's her fault." He slid right to reveal your cowering figure. You shyly greeted his mother, flushing pink. "Oh hello [Y/N]! I didn't see you come in. Were you in Light's room the whole night? You two had a sleep-over..?"

"No mom. Why would we do that? She just has her own ways of disturbing my sleep. Is dad still here?"

"He's on the living room and just about to leave. I'll make you two breakfast."

"That's not necessary. We just need some coffee, after that we'll.. What are we gonna do again?"

"Play badminton outside."

"It's still a bit dark, don't you think?"

"It's alright. The sun is about to rise. It'll rise quickly." Light replied to his mom, taking two cups and then pouring hot water on them. "Mild coffee [Y/N]?"

"Nope. Black coffee will do."

"Didn't you already-"

"It was creamy white. It was bland for my liking. I need something stronger." You cheekily replied. He sighed and started mixing your coffee and then his own. "If I recall, yesterday I saw you walking home while drinking that black iced coffee from the convenience store. Too much caffeine is unhealthy."

"Yes, Sir Light, noted." You grinned, blowing your drink before taking a sip. "Hey, not funny. I'm genuinely concerned."

"Concern appreciated."

You both entered the living room, greeting his father who eventually got up, off to work. You sat beside Light as you both watched Sachiko kiss Soichiro goodbye. You smiled and mumbled an 'aw,' nudging Light and causing him to slightly spill the coffee he was about to drink.

"What?" He looked at you then to his parents.

"Nothing."

"Ah, I get it. You wanna do that with someone someday, don't you?"

"That's not-"

"It's okay. We all daydream like that, even me. So don't be shy."

"I'm not shy!"

"There goes my line."

"Hmp. So who's the lucky girl, or boy, you daydream about?"

"Why are you suddenly interested? Well what about you?"

"You didn't answer my question."

"Because that doesn't matter-"

"Unfair. You're so secretive."

"Fair enough since you're just as secretive as I am. You don't even tell me the guys you like, and I'm your bestfriend."

"Because that doesn't matter-"

"Why do you keep on stealing my lines?"

"Oi that's not the point! I mean come on, an honor student like you rarely talks about romance so when you do, of course I must know. I am your best friend after all."

Light cringed, chuckling. "There's nothing special about that."

"Pfft. Honor students like you are so busy with studying that you rarely have time for romance."

"What? No. Look at you, you're an honor student yourself."

"Yeah but I mean the pros, like you. The valedictorians, first honors."

"Just because I don't that about romance doesn't mean I don't think about it. But like you said, I rarely think about it."

"Ooh! So who is the lucky one?"

"Why do you want to know?"

You puffed your cheeks. Honestly you had no idea too. Let's just say you were... curious.

"I need to gather information. I need some information to sip. Either way I'll figure it out when I start my investigation."

"No."

"Augh- I'll disown you, Light Yagami."

He put his cup down, looking at you.

"It's not really possible to disown the person you like, you know."

The coffee that you were drinking almost came out of your nostrils.

"Don't have so much hubris on yourself. I can do a ten-paged essay about why you are so dislikeable."

"But you can do an essay about why you like me ten times longer than that."

"I am so going to hit your ugly being!"

His smile only grew wider, fascination twinkling in his eyes.

"Hit me with your sweet love, maybe I won't mind."

Not blushing wasn't really an option. He burst out of laughter as you'd been left speechless. You continuously punched his arm, but he never stopped laughing. And his laughter was indeed infectious.

As you two were having fun, you suddenly felt eyes on your back. You stopped and turned around, seeing Light's mother slyly smiling at the both of you as she slithered away towards the kitchen. You and Light avoided each other's gaze for a moment and blushed, finishing your coffees wordlessly instead.

"Well, I'll go change now. You wait here."

"Let me come with you-"

Light raised an eyebrow. "What a pervert you are, [Y/N]."

"NO! That is not what I meant!"

"Well what did you mean?"

"I mean, let me wait outside your room instead," You leaned in, whispering. "What if your mom comes here and talks to me? I mean.. I'm super shy around her."

He nodded in agreement but then he added, "There's no need to be shy around your future mother though."

'This smooth-talking bastard!' You sighed and rubbed your nape, 50% about to roll your eyes and 50% about to blush again. You knew what he meant by that. He had always been a tease to you. But you decided to play against his will.

"Wow. I didn't know that the Yagami family will adopt me someday."

"Tch, dummy."

"Did you just call me dummy?"

"What? Of course not! You really need to clean your ears. I said dumplings. Your cheeks remind me of them. And now I'm hungry."

"You are awful!" For the nth time in history, you hit his arm. "I'm really gonna disown you in one of these days. Now get your ass moving already so we can conquer the street first."

"Well you were the one constantly blabbering and delaying things here-"

"Beca-"

"Shut up."

"Pft. Fine." He pulled you up, holding your wrist even on the way back to his bedroom.

After about five minutes of changing to a plain white t-shirt and jogging pants, matching yours by the way, you two headed out the neighborhood. You picked up the rackets and shuttlecock you had left on the ground, handing him one.

"We don't really have a net-"

"Oh come on! This is just a friendly match, so there's no need for that."

"What about the scores? We can play somehow else if you'd like."

"That's not necessary. I'm making the rules, and the only rule here is that the opponent gets the score if you fail to prevent the birdie from hitting the ground."

"That's not how you play badminton.."

"I am well aware of that. I used to be a part of the school's badminton team, hello? But I make my own rules here." You grinned slyly. He shook his head. "There's no fun in this. You just woke me up to make me do some pointless things with you."

You were actually a little offended by that. You puffed your cheeks and crossed your arms.

"Is it bad that I just wanna have some quality-time with my friend? And to get my revenge, too."

What you said made his heart leap a little, and he was having a hard time resisting the urge to smile. But in the end, he only snarled against his own will. "Let's get this done quick. I'll make sure to destroy you."

"Oh, you wish."

And the game started. The eerie silence vanished, replaced by your grunts, pants, and intense movements. The sky was eventually transitioning from a dim purple to a pale yellow one as you two played, eyes focused on nothing but the shuttle, sweat dripping down your bodies. Light was just as determined as you were to beat his ass. The scores were being mentally recorded by you two-no cheating of course. It was a pretty fair game. One moment you'd be on the lead, but he'd take it, and you'd take it back, and the cycle continued. He was the worthiest opponent for you in this, and he thought the same about you.

The deal was a maximum of 50 scores. Currently, Light was leading and almost close to winning. Certainly you didn't want to get beaten so you struck the shuttle at a perfect angle with just enough force. It flew fast; you were sure he'd miss it. But his reflex was quick, and he struck it with a force much stronger than yours-but his flawed angle sent the shuttle flying higher than he intended it to, and it unfortunately landed on one of your neighbor's roof.

That neighbor just so happened to be the one you two-no, the whole neighborhood-absolutely detested.

Light rubbed his nape and laughed nervously, seeing your grimace. "I'll give the score to you then. So, you have an extra shuttle?"

"Unfortunately that's my last one." You facepalmed. You used to have lots of shuttlecocks but you just kept on losing them since everytime you play with someone, they'd either get destroyed in the process or fly too high and land on unaccessible places, just like what happened.

He frowned. "Seriously? What about inside your house? I'm sure there are a bunch of them tangled in your mess."

"I told you that was my last one. I haven't been able to buy more of them so yeah. But thanks to this nerdy friend of mine, I'm now left with none."

You were only being sarcastic, but it sounded way too derisive for him that he felt somehow guilty.

"Now what do we do.." You pouted to yourself. He averted his gaze which then met the ladder from earlier, a brilliant idea crossing his mind. But the last thing he wanted to do was to get involved, in any way, with that awful neighbor. A grim expression crossed his face and you saw it as you walked closer to him.

"Hey, I'm not actually mad at you, dummy."

"No- I mean, that's a relief. But I think I can retrieve it with the ladder. They might notice me though."

You snorted, but at least there was still a way to save that shuttle. You then looked at the sky. The sun was now rawly smiling at you. Surely those rogues weren't awake yet.

"You know what? I'll do it myself."

"Don't. You might fall. I'll go do it. It's a gentleman's job after all." He grinned. "Do you think they're awake?"

"I don't think so. The curtains are closed anyway."

"Alright. In case I fall, you stay below."

"Okay, Princess Light. I'll catch you using these strong manly arms of mine. Muah!"

"Ew."

Thankfully they didn't have a second floor so the ladder's height was alright- although still short. Once Light had climbed up, you stayed below, holding the ladder just to stay sure.

"Damn. How did it get that far?" He struggled to reach it with his racket, even with his arms and body stretched already. After a few valiant attempts, he sighed and steadied himself a little. He had an idea of climbing the roof but the risk of falling down in the process was high. And he certainly didn't want to squash you either.

"Well this is hopeless."

"Don't give up now, my princess!" You continuously poked his butt with the handle of your racket, causing him to give you a death glare, wobbling a little in his position.

"Are you asking to get squashed? Stop that or I'll fall on you."

"That was just to power you up, silly! Don't you dare fall on me."

"How about falling for you?"

"Bitch."

"Now now, don't say bad words!"

He chuckled and was about to continue his mission when suddenly, the curtains flew open, revealing a grotesque face of a woman staring at Light's crotch-because that's where the window was apparently placed.

Let's just say that you two never want to recall that twenty-minute rebuking that you swore went on even as you two had already left the neighborhood, heading elsewhere.

"That went well." Light heaved a sigh, poking your racket with his as you two walked side by side. You nodded.

"Mission failed. Geez, that woman just wouldn't stop talking and bombarding us with malarkey. I'm starting to hate her."

"To be honest who doesn't? The whole neighborhood hates her as far as I know."

"Pfft, right. So what do we do now?"

He poked your cheeks, and poked, and poked, before pinching them so hard.

"Stop your fetish for my cheeks! This is abuse!"

He laughed, a genuine kind. He didn't reply but put an arm over your shoulder. You puffed your cheeks and played along.

"Where are we going?"

"I'm a bit hungry. So let's head to the convenience store."

"Unsurprising but I didn't bring any money with me."

"Not a single cent?"

"Noooope."

"I guess it's fine since I'll be the one treating you. You should be thankful." You only smiled.

On the way to the store you noticed a group of older and drunk men resting on the side of the street. Their eyes pierced uncomfortably through you. You lowered your head, still feeling their laviscious stares nonetheless. Light also noticed this, and so he pressed himself to you. You hadn't even passed them and when you did, the inevitable came. They cackled, whistling and calling you by names as they rapped the table for attention.

You ignored them and thankfully, they didn't bother you more. "Those bastards." You heard your companion clicking his tongue in annoyance, looking back at the drunk men. He saw where their gazes were and it strongly disgusted him. There was an unnerving silence as you two arrived at the store.

You both had hotdogs with buns and ice cream which was your specific request and which Light reluctantly complied to. The two of you were sitting side by side, looking through the glass wall and discussing mostly about school projects and then some gossips which all came from you. After running out of food to munch on, Light went back to buy a huge bag of chips you two would be sharing.

The sky was now a saturated mixture of orange and yellows. People strolling outside were quickly multiplying until eventually the sidewalk got packed. Few vehicles came passing by. The day was starting for a lot.

"Those guys often do that to you?"

Snapping back to reality, you cooed, "Pardon me?"

"The drunk men we just came across with, was it the first time they've called you out like that?"

"Nope. They're always out drinking.." You saw him creasing his brows. "I know what you're thinking. Well they can't be help so don't think too much about it."

"Can't be help or not, that's still wrong. Did you see the way they looked at your curves? Those men reek danger for a young woman like you. Who knows what their next moves are?" Clenching his fist, he growled. He was truly worried for you. He knew how the world is full of suspicious people like them, and who knows that they're capable of doing?

"Now now worry-wart, don't be so angry."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? You should really start walking home with me early. Does it kill you to immediately go home after school even when you have no business there anymore?"

He got you there. "But I don't want to instantly go home."

"Keep thinking like that and you might never be able to go home again."

You pursed your lips at how scary he made that sound. "Listen, [Y/N]. In this world, there are only a few people you can actually trust. And those guys? They're not looking worthy of someone's trust, even one bit. They're also not the only possible threats to you. Anyone you don't know, or even who you're acquainted with, could be. Even if they look so charming. I'm saying this as a warning, and as your friend. The way they looked at you really triggered me. I can't let you continue your routine anymore. Sure, I know you're going to argue that there's lots of bystanders in case something happens, but that's not always the case. And we're not even sure if they'll help you or proceed to give a blind eye to it."

There came a long pause as you absorbed his words. Hearing them made you feel grateful for having a friend like him-someone who speaks up because he cares about you and your safety. You merely nodded with your mouth agape.

"..I-I'll do as you say then. Thank you Light, really. I appreciate your concern. You give the best advices.. I-you're one of the best people out there."

"Sorry to suddenly explode like that." He smiled, and your heart softened. You asked, "And so, by saying that.. You trust me?"

"Needless to ask dummy. I wouldn't have said that if I didn't."

"Thank you. You know I trust you too. You're one of the people who's worth my trust." You flushed pink as you scratched your nape. This kind of conversation will always make you shy.

"You don't have to say thank you to me for trusting you. And what you said.. You're worth trusting, too."

You didn't argue. The following minutes were silent as you two stared at the void while eating potato chips. You didn't have any new topics in mind, and he seemed to be lost in his thoughts-or his daydreams. You didn't want to interrupt whatever was going on in that complex mind of his.

You absently stood up, craving for another black coffee, but you halted and went back when you remembered you didn't have your own money.

"Oh? You want something?"

"I want coffee. Well- if you don't mind. Ehehehe."

"That I am not going to buy for you. That's going to be your third coffee and the day's only starting."

"Hmph. Forgot I have a mom for a friend. But anyway, you good? You seemed to be thinking about something rather serious earlier."

"Yeah, I'm fine." He smiled. Although he was really deep in thought of something-but what was it?

As he'd already said, he trusted you. He had been friends with you since middle school. He developed the ability to read through your mind. With you both growing closer day by day, he had already memorized your hobbies, your predictably unpredictable schedules, your common moods, your personality, and your flaws as a human being. Heck, he could even write an entire biography book about you with all the facts 99% accurate if he wanted to.

To him, you were fascinating, despite the fact that you weren't his ‘ideal’ girl. But as they say, some ideals are bound to get broken when something unexpected and much more interesting comes along the way. Sure, you couldn't read his mind as good as he read yours. You couldn't decipher and foresee what his next moves would be very well, wasn't in the exact same level as he was, but he grew attached to you. He trusted you, which was a rare thing for him to do-and consider the fact that trust is a hard thing to earn. You were an honest person, mildly annoying at some point to him. You're one that's willing to help others too. Rarely gets the initiative, but when you do, you execute amazing plans and actions.

The world is ugly, indeed, but he considered you to be one of those who made it less that way. You were one of the beautiful people in this ugly, mundane world. And that, he admired you for.

He couldn't see you as just a friend anymore. He could basically see through you, like you were his other half-like you were meant to be. You were someone he could connect with, someone he trusts, someone he could love. The label 'bestfriends' bothered him because he felt like it didn't suit you both, because something else did.

A couple.

And going back, what he was thinking about was the act of courting you and becoming your boyfriend. But doubts flooded his mind, such as you two being too young for romance, the possibility of your parents being against it since he knew you once swore that you wouldn't get a boyfriend until the age of 25 (which was actually a half-joke), and him not knowing what to properly do afterwards. Was he ready for this? Having you as his girlfriend wouldn't really change or affect anything such as his studies. It would still be the same.. just with an upgraded relationship and label with you. Besides, he had been wanting to court you for some time already. And if he doesn't do it then he'd only grow more and more restless.

He wanted to be yours. He was sure you also reciprocated his feelings. Getting into a teenage relationship is easy and quick and maybe reckless, they say, but not for someone with a complex and rational thinking like him. There were some things to consider- but you know what Light said?

'God damn it.'

"Love."

"Huh?" You weren't expecting that response at all.

"I mean I was thinking about romance."

"Ooh! Finally, you decided to add some teenage thrill in your life. So, what about romance?" You gave a sly look. "Need help? I can be cupid, except I will be hitting you with my fist."

His smile was little but genuine, looking out. "There's someone I like for some time now. I've been wanting to court her."

"Awe! My boy has finally grown! My son is finally having a love interest! Eh, but why do you look so uncertain? Is there a catch?"

"Not really." He looked at you, his cheek resting on his palm. You raised an eyebrow.

"If that's the case then go for it! Who would dare to refuse the Light Yagami anyway? If you're feeling doubtful, which is highly unlikely for you, don't be. Any girl would swoon over you, even myself." You chuckled. He gave a fake impression of still being doubtful, looking down with his hands now on his thighs. It was a rare sight to see. You placed a hand on his shoulder, tapping it. Just then, he looked at you straight in the eye.

"It's not like you to lose some confidence. Come on, don't be sad. You can do it. Go ahead and court the lucky one. Cupid approves." You gave him a thumbs up.

"..If you say so," he seized your wrist and stood up.

"Can I court you then?"

[jeonqquk]

PAIRING. jungkook x reader GENRE. crack | bAd lowkey bad atempts at being funny WARNINGS. alcohol consumption | things coming back up the wrong way <//3 | jk llikes kids. jk doesn’t looooooove kids | no serious warnings, appropriate for 13+ audiences WC. 930 words NOTES. anyways think about this jk w this while reading <3 this had been in my drafts for so long n i wasn’t able to complete the fic that was supposed to come out for his bday but here u go

You don’t know how, why or where Jungkook got his ideas from, but you do know that they’re terrible ones and he’s going to hell for ever thinking of them.

Everybody else is enjoying the icy drinks and popsicles, Somin’s (Taehyung’s daughter) birthday party in a pool having been a wonderful idea to relax in the middle of summer. And you could’ve been doing the same if your immature ass boyfriend hadn’t decided to drink vodka with silly straw in the middle of the day.

You totally get where he’s coming from — there were fucking kids here (it was a 6-year-old’s birthday party, for fuck’s sake) but as much as Jungkook loved children, it was getting a little too much.

He had already been asked where his child was, how old he was when he was allowed to drink juice without asking for permission, and was hovering in the gray area between getting a vasectomy and drowning himself in the 4-foot-tall pool.

It’s not that Jungkook didn’t like kids, per se, there were just certain traits about them that made him want to gag and choke.

He couldn’t wait to have kids with you, though.

No matter how haughty or silly they’d be, he would love them to death. He’s sure of that.

“Y/n, babe, let’s gooo,” his head is resting on your shoulder, voice slurred in the slightest because of the fucking alcohol. You sniff, “No. It’s not my fault that you decided to drink at a kid’s birthday party.” He’d been complaining about the pounding of his head for quite some time, and you don’t do him a favour by speaking loudly with your mouth right next to his ear.

He winces, moving away and reaches his arm up to remove the silly straw from his face. The bright orange yet translucent straw lets you see how he takes a sip of the alcohol-infused drink in his hand, watching with mild disgust as he squeezes his eyes shut from the burn in his throat but smiles in bliss nonetheless. You’re reminded of how weird Jungkook could be when he wanted to once again.

The sight is still somehow endearing to you — his uniqueness aways getting the best of you and your heart flutters in your chest. His red hair — that he’d dyed one night just to prove a point is easy to catch in the bright sunshine and his skin is tanning from having spent so much time outside in the sun, letting the warmth soak his skin.

He’s drinking alcohol from a kids’ straw.

In his defence, the party was getting kinda boring and this was the only solution to conceal his actions!

Winking at you, he says, “Want a sip?” You shake your head, turning your head so as to not letting your blush show even at his fuckboy-esque words.

You’re about to get up to walk back inside, looking at Jungkook poking at the cherry in his glass with the stick of the mini-umbrella. Namjoon’s daughter beats you to it though, as she walks up to Jungkook, eyes sparkling and pretty pink with an even prettier pink bow hat providing her face shade. “Uncle Kook! What’s in there?” she asks, voice so sickeningly sweet that it makes you wonder if she knows what he’s mixed in his drink.

An amused glint is present in your eyes as you watch Jungkook’s eyes widen, lips parting as he inhales sharply, “W-What?” The 7-year-old girl rolls her eyes, “I said,” you almost want to cackle at Jungkook’s poor state, “What’s in the cup?” “Nothing, Eunmi, there’s nothing!” he squeaks, voice unbearably high as he worriedly watches her lips push into a pout. That’s obviously a lie, even the small child can tell that, the light blue cocktail is shining in the sunlight, ice cubes almost melting.

“Are you mad at me?” she questions after a moment of thinking, wide eyes staring at Jungkook. He immediately shakes his head no, eyes desperately looking for help. An older couple is sitting near you too, the beady eyes of the lady who looks like she’s in her 50’s glaring at Jungkook.

His mouth opens and shuts like that of a fish out of water, and he hastily looks around for someone who will help him get out of the situation. When his desperate gaze meets yours, you shake your head no, and he doesn’t even bother arguing because, well, you had been cautioning him about the dangers of drinking alcohol and a child’s birthday party for hours.

The woman whose husband is snoring with a straw hat on his face seals her lips, arms crossed as she judgementally watches Jungkook upset a little girl.

She doesn’t understand, he thinks, she doesn’t know the whole story.

Eunmi begins to get cranky, obviously upset at the fact that Jungkook wasn’t even telling her what he was drinking — let alone let her have a sip.

All Jungkook can do is trap his lip between his teeth and huff, gazing at Eunmi’s small figure walking back to her friends, the slightest hint of her shoulder being slumped making Jungkook pout because he had caused that.

But he can’t even sulk for a whole minute, the alcohol in his system finally beginning to work its magic as he feels something come back up, immediately running back inside the house to throw up the disgusting mixture of vodka and Fettuccine Alfredo with you snickering at his misfortune yet right behind him to rub his back when he throws up in the toilet.

© intokook | absolutely no reposts/modifications/translations of works tolerated.

[twst-campos13]

UwU welcome to the twst writing fandom~ Aha finally a blog that can write for male! mc,I haven't seen them for a while nor there are a lot of~ Can i request hc with the first years with a male crush reader~? Hope that you'll get many followers! ahehe~I dunno what to say. Hope that you have a great day, UwU -🍵🌱✨

Hello there Tea Non! (can I call you that qq?) Sorry for the wait!! Jack’s part feels a bit too short and Sebek’s quite long,, ^^’’

Warnings: mild language! internalized homophobia (Epel’s part!) Tags: fluff, male!reader

➸ Ace is a little shit bastard, but he (along with Deuce) practically became best friends. You're one of the people he would tease to death and annoy with but also he would stand by your side no matter what.

➸ You banter a lot together. You'd fight, argue, and even tease each other which is considered "too mean" to other people.

➸ Though your arguing turns to flirting sometimes. You didn't even realize it, Ace didn't even realize it, but your friends did and they're placing bets if you two are actually into each other or not. 

➸ How long did Ace figure out that this isn't just a normal bro-thing? Well, suddenly, seeing you scowl at him and swear at him is becoming more than amusing—it's becoming endearing. He likes the way you look at him or even gets hyped up in annoying you when you fire back with remarks.

➸ The fluttering feeling in his chest only grew when you two were play flirting. He grinned cheekily at you about maybe needing some company while doing library duty. You know what you said to him back? 

➸ "Awe, Ace. Do you want to be alone with me that much?"

➸ His brain tried what just happened and why that he was so red right after that whole exchange. You two always flirted and bickered, right? Why does it feel kinda different now?? What??? Hnajgejegegaeg????

➸ Then you started to do intimately nice things to him—like that one time you had to tend to his hand after burning himself during potions class—then oh, oh. Fuck. Oh fuck. He has a crush on you. Does that surprise him? To have a crush on a guy? Not particularly, because this isn't the first time it happened. 

➸ Before Ace met his ex-girlfriend, he already experienced what it's like to have a crush on a guy. He didn't understand why or why that feeling is the same feeling he has for a girl. 

➸ His brother found out first then he came out to his mom. She did call it a phase but in a way that she was supportive of him questioning his sexuality. His mom assured him that she wouldn't love him less if he's bisexual.  

➸ Ace just hopes this little crush of his doesn't develop. He doesn't want things to get awkward between the two of you! Just because he likes the way your cheeks reddens when he slings an arm around you and pinches your cheek, doesn't mean you can do the same to him...okay, maybe he'd like that a little bit

➸ Deuce is a smart student. He's loyal, reliable, and diligent. However, sometimes he just comes off as dense. 

➸ He's comfortable with his sexuality. Whatever it is that is seen as too intimate for two bros to share is normal for him. After all, you're his best friend! Along with Ace and Grim. There's nothing weird about how he's treating you because he treats his friends the same way. 

➸ Said friends watch his imaginary ears and tail wag when you praise him or compliment him. Okay, who's gonna tell him? 

➸ It's like they were the ones who realize Deuce has a crush on you first than Deuce himself. They started placing bets on when he's going to realize it or if you'll be the one to find out and Deuce still hasn't realized what he's feeling is infatuation.

➸ It's rather cute, actually. Deuce is already cute but he became quite endearing when he smiles at you. How he's always making sure to see if you're comfortable, checking in on your wellbeing, and asking if you need help.

➸ He's a little protective of you, too. Granted he controls himself to not get into too many fights. He doesn't want you to get roped into the fights and get hurt. However, if some mob student even dares to mess with you when you aren't even doing anything, you got some backup. (Don't mess with the First Year Squad).

➸ Ace teases him about his little crush on you which leads to Deuce punching his arm all flustered. He's a little shit to Deuce about this too, always making kissy sounds when Deuce gets too cute around you.

➸ The funny thing is, Deuce doesn't even realize he's infatuated with you. Again, he thinks you just have a special place in his heart. You're his bro and he's willing to fight with you. 

➸ He finally realized when he talked to his mom about you and she commented how glad she is that her son found someone he can be happy with. She reminded him to take his crush as a motivation in his studies, and Deuce nodded at her advice.

➸ Wait WHAT—

➸ Epel is by no means weak. This boy worked at a farm before he was in NRC. That pretty face doesn't mean a pretty heart (sometimes). 

➸ Though the urge to pick him up out of nowhere is tempting. No one in the squad tried to do it to catch him off guard (Ace attempted to while Deuce stopped him, Sebek doesn't think it's necessary, and Jack only picked him up because they were working out together). Besides, he isn't some damsel to be hoisted out of nowhere! He doesn't like it...or so he thought when you picked him up by the torso to move him out of the way. Epel didn't see Grim running at full speed on the ground because his tail got bitten by a live crab. Your first instinct was to just grab and lift him—you didn't mean to startle him, really. 

➸ Needless to say, Epel developed a new emotion. He doesn't know what to call it or if there's even a name for it. Is there a name for "brain shutting down for brief moments after being picked up with ease?"

➸ Does he like you? Does he actually have a crush on you?? He never had a crush on a guy before—he never had a crush on anyone. Does the fluttery feeling in his chest when you touch shoulders mean that he likes you?? ahufaeofaufea????!!

➸ He's just...lost. So lost about what he's feeling towards you. A lot of invasive and absurd thoughts flood his mind. Do you have a crush on him too? Will you like him? Would you find him weird? Who's gonna "wear the pants" in the relationship?? He doesn't want that! Liking a guy doesn't make him less manly, right? RIGHT??

➸ "Hey Epel are you—" | "I DON'T LIKE HIM." | "...dude I was just gonna ask if you're finished with your essay..."

➸ The squad (sans you) have to reassure Epel that his feelings for you are valid and that doesn't make him less manly than he already is (Jack and Deuce). Liking a guy is the same as liking anyone else (Sebek). Worrying about a certain role to play in a relationship between same-sexes is kinda homophobic (Ace). 

➸ That assured him, atleast. He isn't familiar with liking a guy. Plus, with where he came from, it's definitely uncommon. However...there is one thing that Epel is familiar with.

➸ He definitely fantasized about meeting someone to grow old with. Someone who will love him back and share dreams with. No one knows about this of course—what are you talking about? He's not a sappy, romantic person. Not at all!!

➸ Jack would deny it 100% 

➸ There is no way he has a crush on you! He can't do that to you—no way. He respects you enough to keep your relationship as just friends. If you're bros, you're bros.

➸ Yeah, that doesn't really work out well for him.

➸ It's easy to tell if Jack likes you or not because he's good at hiding his emotions through defensive remarks (plus his resting face is a scowl). The Kouhai Squad would look at his ears and tail wagging when you even smile at him or congratulate him for a job well done. He's like a puppy,,,

➸ Whenever the Squad would point this out he will deny it. There is no way in Twisted Wonderland that he has a crush on you! He doesn't! Those are...just instinctive bodily reactions!

➸ "You held hands, dude." | "So? That isn't weird." | "Your tail is wagging." | "NO IT ISN'T!!"

➸ It's not like he doesn't like you, he's just...embarrassed. It's like you know what makes him flustered and that makes his heart do a little tap dance. He (somehow) wants to do the same to you. Make you flustered, embarrassed, happy...it's only fair! 

➸ He needs to get over this little crush of his...because you're starting to catch up on why he's acting weirdly. If he tells you how he feels about you, how would you take it? He doesn't want to ruin your relationship with each other...aghh why is this so hard?? Jack wishes working on his feelings is as easy as training in Magift...

➸ Admiration and pride are something Sebek is familiar with, but infatuation is new.  

➸ Admiring someone and having a crush on them are two similar but different things. When your bond with him develops he...starts to get a little confused. 

➸ Has those feelings always been there? Are they different? He wasn't being this weird back then! A simple bump on the shoulders shouldn't spark so much electricity inside him to cause him to tense up! 

➸ Sebek was good to hide these new reactions towards you...somewhat. He has to atleast act like everything is normal so he can evaluate what kind of feelings he has towards you. Which works and kinda doesn't since when you do something a little intimate (like a shoulder pat, a cheeky smile, or even praise) he gets a little red. Red. Nevermind Deuce and Jack are asking if he's okay while Grim judges from afar. 

➸ He still doesn't understand why he feels so weird around you so he decided to ask someone who has experience—an adult if you will! A humble, wise, elder fae that surely has some explanation for the weird fluttery feeling in his stomach.  

➸ "You are infatuated—or to put it simply, you have a crush on the Prefect," Lilia explained to him. Sebek needed a few moments for that information to sink in. He has a crush on you. Okay, that's the mundane mystery solved. What is he gonna do with that information? Carry on with your friendship knowing things might get awkward around the both of you? 

➸ Luckily, Lilia gave him three questions to answer personally so he may evaluate his feelings for you. In that way, Sebek knows what the next steps to take without rushing in blindly. You consider him as your friend and he returns that sentiment! He wishes to respect you as you respect him. 

➸ Are you a distraction? Oh, definitely! Ever since he started to harbor feelings for you, his thoughts often lead up to you. When the young master is talking about you, he finds himself listening in, not just because Malleus is talking, but because he wonders about what kind of human is friends with his young master. This caused him to write a few words related to you in the essay he was supposed to be writing! When he and Silver are sparring, Silver has the audacity to throw your name into his comment which caught him off guard. In other words: you are despicably distracting!

➸ Are you a motivation? Well...yes. Sebek is proud to be a knight for the young master and he continues to strive in his position. He knows there is still much to learn as a knight and he is willing to develop his skills more to become better. Somehow, you acknowledge his diligence and even commend him for it. Yet you look after him, saying that he needs someone to fight for him. He laughs at that incredulous thought. Sebek prefers he do that to you along with his friends, instead. All of the squad are an odd bunch, including you. Sebek...wants to protect you as well. Somehow, knowing that you are safe urges him to make sure that you'll remain safe.

➸ Are you an inspiration? Sebek ponders on that question. Somehow it is related to the second, but he thinks carefully about it. He noticed how most of the poetry he makes is because of you—he needs an outlet for his feelings, don't take it weirdly—and although the theme varies, the subject of interest is you. 

➸ Now that he answered all three of those questions...shall he proceed with courting you? No, that's too fast. Lilia told him to enjoy his youth and don't dive into relationships quickly.

➸ However! He shall confess to you to rid of the constricting feeling in his chest! Sebek wants to talk to you normally again without any hidden feelings!

[luminnara]

The Dismemberment Song PART 2 | BOP Victor Zsasz x Reader | 18+

Fandom: Birds of Prey

Words:

Summary: Zsasz takes a liking to one of the burlesque dancers at Roman’s club. It turns out the two have a little history together...and they both want to do something about their unresolved tension.

PART ONE | PART TWO 

Thanks so much for reading!! I really really hope you like this, because BOP Zsasz needs more love and attention, and I, for one, am determined to give it to him! 

Words: 3,666

Warnings: Alcohol, blood, violence, mutilation, that good good smutty smut (oral, penetration), kinda dom!Zsasz

Requests are open!!

You had never been in Roman Sionis’s penthouse. It was strictly off limits to anyone he didn’t personally invite, and you didn’t even think that his favorite little bird, Dinah Lance, had been up there. Now, though, here you were, stepping out of the elevator with Zsasz on your heels as you marveled at the converted loft. 

“Holy shit,” you breathed, looking around. 

Roman’s place was filled with weird art, all sorts of exotic masks sitting on pedestals or hanging on the walls. There was a long, dark dinner table with a decorative fruit platter sitting in the center, and an open floor plan allowed to see the spacious living room surrounded by huge walls of windows that overlooked the East End. It was the perfect blend of luxurious and industrial for someone like Roman, and you sighed as you imagined yourself living somewhere so nice.

“‘Sthat all about?” Zsasz asked in that rough, low, almost drawling voice.

“Just admiring the view,” you said as you left him to go stand before the windows.

“Yeah,” Zsasz agreed. “It’s nice.”

But his eyes were on you, not the Gotham skyline.

“Do you stay here with him?” You asked, turning to look at Roman’s henchman with a bright, exuberant smile on your face, as if you hadn’t just murdered a man onstage in the club.

“I do.” Zsasz approached you, hands in his pockets as he moved in that watchful, predatory way you always saw him slinking around with. “I’ve gotta protect the boss. He needs me.”

“You must do a pretty good job of it.” You mused. Now that you were confident that Roman wasn’t going to have Zsasz peel your face off, you were allowing yourself to relax again.

“It’s my job.” He said simply, coming to stand behind you. He was so close that you could smell his cologne, his breath hot on your neck as he leaned in.

You froze.

His chest was brushing your back and you were almost certain he could hear the way your heart was hammering away in your chest. You held perfectly still, not daring to move a muscle as Zsasz brought a hand up to brush your bloodstained curls away from your shoulder.

His fingers were rough, calloused, and warm, just like the rest of him, his hands big and strong enough that you were confident he could kill you unarmed in the blink of an eye. The weird, sadistic side of you would welcome it; though you had never admitted it to anybody before, you were pretty sure that Victor Zsasz was the only man you would ever allow to kill you.

You could remember the first time you met him, years ago, when he and Roman came to your old gig to convince you to start up at the Black Mask. He had less scars back then, but still the same bleached hair and that fucking handsome stubble on his jaw. You had been entranced as you watched him follow your eventual employer around, the club owner giving them their own corner booth and all the bottle service that Roman Sionis could possibly want.

You could remember how your legs had turned to jelly when the shift manager sent you over to them, but you must have managed to hide it well, because you spent the rest of the night drinking and partying with Roman fucking Sionis. Then, obviously, one thing led to another, and you had gone to work for him.

The part you had never told anyone about, though, the part you never spoke of, was the part where Zsasz had taken you into a vip room.

You didn’t remember all the details about everything that night, but you could still recall every moment you spent on his lap. Every appreciative squeeze he gave your ass and thighs, every low moan he let out as you rocked your hips with his. You still dreamt about it once in a while, even though you were sure that it had all been something about Roman making his lackey inspect the goods before hiring you.

But still...you had loved it.

He always wore his shirts unbuttoned a fair ways down to show off the scars on his upper chest, but that night, you had gotten to see more. You could remember how you had run your fingers over them, and the way that Zsasz had watched you almost reverently. You didn’t know exactly why he etched them into himself, if it was to intimidate everyone or for some personal reason, but you didn’t find them odd or ugly. You loved the raised scar tissue and the way it felt, so smooth to the touch despite looking so gnarled, and it was one of the many reasons you had always harbored a secret liking for Victor Zsasz.

Now, as he stood so close behind you, you felt that same jelly in your legs.

“You should get cleaned up, kitten.” He said in that low voice. “The boss wouldn’t want you making a mess.”

You tilted your head slightly, watching him out of the corner of your eye. “Why don’t you show me to the shower then, Zsasz?”

It came out more sultry than you had intended, but when he responded by pressing his hips into your ass, you were glad. He caught the way your breath hitched in your throat, his eyes trained on yours as he did nothing but stare at you for a few agonizingly long moments.

“Right this way, Princess.” He finally broke away.

You brushed off your mild disappointment, mentally chastising yourself for hoping that would have gone further, and followed him down a hallway, passing a few closed doors before reaching one that stood open. When Victor stepped in and flipped the light switch, you stood and gawked at what awaited you.

Of course Roman Sionis would have the nicest guest bathroom in Gotham.

It was huge, a claw foot tub sitting against the wall across from the sink while a shower was situation at the far end. Everything was off-white and antique gold, simple and elegant and clearly very expensive.

“Holy shit,” you said under your breath, for the second time that night. “Roman doesn’t skimp out, does he?”

“The boss has expensive taste.” Zsasz said, following you in. “Get in the shower.”

You turned and looked at him. “Little privacy might be nice.”

He only stared back.

“Zsasz...?” You gave a little nod towards the door.

“Oh,” he chuckled, laughing to himself as if something had slipped his mind. “Course. Privacy.”

He turned and shut the door, still in the room with you.

You sighed.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“Can’t leave you alone in here unattended.” He said, stepping towards you. “You might slip and fall.”

His voice was slightly menacing, in a way that had you almost wondering if he wasn’t going to find a way to kill you and stage your death as an accident. But you were confident in yourself. If he made any funny moves, you could get him before he got you.

Maybe.

“Fine.” You jutted your chin out defiantly. “Then why don’t you make yourself useful and go warm up the water for me while I get out of this robe?”

You expected him to roll his eyes and sneer, but he didn’t. He didn’t even refuse. He just walked right over, slid the glass shower door to the side, and turned the water on. Just like that. Obediently, as if he actually wanted to. You were so dumbfounded by it that by the time he glanced back towards you, you were still standing there, completely dressed.

He looked a bit disappointed.

“Well?” He asked.

“What? Oh.” You untied your fancy little robe and let it fall onto the tiles, still looking straight at him.

You could see his eyes trailing down your body, those dark circles under them giving him a hungry, starved look. When you hooked your thumbs in the sides of your thong and pulled it down, you saw his chest rising and falling as his breaths quickened slightly.

You smirked. Yeah, like Roman had said, Zsasz was harmless. If he had wanted to kill you, he would have by now. He’d already had a dozen chances on the way up to the penthouse.

As you walked toward the shower, he stepped to the side, seeming for a moment as if he was content to let you go in and enjoy the hot water in peace. Of course he wasn’t, though;

This was Victor Zsasz.

“Wait.” He caught your wrist just before you could step in and you were vaguely aware of the blade he flicked open with his other hand. “You need a mark.”

“What?” You stepped back, allowing him to pull you up to him.

“A mark.” He tapped one of the scars on the side of his face with the knife. “For your kill. Where do you want it?”

You weren’t sure what to say. You had never kept track of the lives you took, but...it really wasn’t that bad an idea. Plus, it seemed like Zsasz wasn’t giving you the option to refuse.

Double plus, it was kind of sexy to imagine him carving you up.

“Here.” you finally said, pointing to the center of your chest. 

Zsasz grinned, showing off those gold teeth that you loved so much. He kept his grip on your wrist but lowered your arm to your side, his knife pressing against the thin skin above your sternum. His touch was feather light, no doubt thanks to years and years of butchering people, both for Roman and for his own pleasure. He new exactly how hard to press in which areas, an expert in the art of slicing through flesh. The steel of his blade was cool and freshly sharpened, gliding along and drawing an angry, but beautiful, red line as blood oozed up and began running down your torso.

 As he dragged the knife down, you let out a hiss of discomfort, pitching forward slightly in pain. He leaned in, his forehead pressing against yours as his blade cut deeper, deeper, nearly down to the bone, and by the time he was finished, you had a four inch long gash ending at the top of your cleavage that was sure to scar marvelously. 

You looked down at it in wonder. Zsasz had done it so...beautifully. He made it so important, this new tally mark. And as you gazed at it, you realized you loved it because he made it. Victor Zsasz, one of Gotham City’s most fucked up criminals, had given you a scar. For somebody just as fucked up as him...well, it practically brought tears to your eyes.

Victor didn’t give you a chance to get weepy. He dropped the bloody knife into the spotless white sink, the blade clattering loudly above the sound of the shower. Zsasz moved his thumb to your new cut, pressing it against the wound and then bringing it up to his mouth to lick your blood off. 

“Zsasz,” you whispered. 

“Victor.” his voice rumbled as he let go of your wrist. “Call me Victor.”

Then his hands were on you, one squeezing your tit while the other grabbed your ass. You gasped in surprise, but his mouth silenced you almost immediately. The kiss was rough, his lips nicked with a few scars, but he was good and you immediately melted against him. He was devouring you, as if he been starved of any attention for years, and maybe he had been. He was hungry for you, insistent, determined, practically begging for more as a low moan rose in his throat. 

Your knees were weak, and you had to break the kiss to catch your breath before you collapsed. You wanted more, though, needed to feel more of him, your hands ripping open his nice designer button down. He wasn’t even mad that you had just sent half the buttons flying around the bathroom, because your fingers were already trailing over the scars that covered his chest, then dipping down to run across his hips. 

His skin was smooth, wherever it was free of tally marks, and incredibly hot to the touch. While you explored, your lips latched onto his neck, kissing and biting and sucking in a way that he hadn’t anticipated. Zsasz was used to being the demanding one, but he wasn’t about to complain that you were so determined to leave some marks of your own. 

Your hands ghosted up over his pecs and then down his abs, and you hummed in appreciation as you felt the neatly groomed hair on his chest. When your hands dipped lower and lower and finally found his belt, he suddenly growled and grabbed your wrists, and your head snapped up to look at him. 

“Shower. Now.” he ordered, eyes dark. 

You obeyed, slipping away from him and stepping into the shower. You could hear him undressing, and as you sighed happily at the feeling of the warm water on your skin, he came to join you.

The shower was more than big enough for the two of you, but he didn’t want to give you any space. He backed you up against the wall, his lips immediately crashing down on yours as he pushed himself up against you. You could feel his hard on pressing into your thigh and whimpered in anticipation, a shiver going straight down to your pussy.

Fuck.

You wanted him so fucking much.

“V-Victor,” you whispered as he leaned back from the kiss. You couldn’t help rubbing your thighs together, trying to alleviate the ache that was quickly building up.

“I wanna hear you purr for me, kitten.” He rasped, his big, warm hand drifting down to your cunt. He found your clit immediately, teasing it, reveling in every gasp and cry you let out for him.

He wanted nothing more than to get down on his knees and worship you with his mouth, but he could be patient.

“You know, when I saw you there, on the stage...” he said as he drew lazy circles around your clit, “...I couldn’t look away...”

“R-really?” You gasped, arching your back as you sucked in a breath.

“Mhm.” He pressed a finger into you. “So fuckin’ beautiful, the way you carved him up...”

You squealed at his touch, the sound like music to his ears. He liked it even more than the sound of his victims screaming...though he was confident you’d be doing plenty of that, too.

“Never knew such a pretty little birdie like you could do somethin’ like that...” he said, slowly pulling his finger out and then pushing it back in again. “All that blood...”

“I-I’ve killed plenty of times,” you gasped, nails digging into his arms as you clung to him. 

“I could tell...you made it look like art...” he suddenly added a second finger, shoving them both in until the rest of his knuckles were pressing against your labia and he had nowhere else to go. 

You let out a loud whine, wanting more, needing more. Before you could demand anything of him, though, he was kneeling in front of you, practically reading your mind as he leaned in to replace his fingers with his mouth. 

You hadn’t expected him to be so skilled, but then again, you hadn’t really expected any of this to be happening tonight. 

He was eating you out as if you were his last meal, as if he hadn’t had food in weeks, as if he was starving. Zsasz was desperate, lapping up all the wetness from your pussy as if it was the only thing keeping him alive, his moans vibrating against your skin. His hair was too short to tangle your fingers in, but you still tried, nails scratching his scalp in a tantalizing way while he gripped your thighs hard enough to leave little red marks behind. 

“F-fuck,” you moaned, leaning your head back against the wall and tensing as he sucked on your clit. Little jolts were running through you, sparks that almost felt electric. Your limbs were tingling as your orgasm built, and as it finally spilled over, you found yourself whining and gasping and chanting his name over and over, holding onto him tightly as he licked at you greedily. 

Zsasz loved it. He wanted you to need him, and he loved the sounds he could pull from you. He could keep going all night, burying his face between your thighs and worshipping you, but now, he wanted more. 

“Turn around.” he said as he stood, licking his lips. 

You nodded, still in a daze as you turned and braced yourself against the wall. He grabbed your hip in one hand and his cock in the other, rubbing the head against your swollen, wet pussy. Next time, he would have you suck him off. Maybe he would ask you to wake him up with a blowjob in the morning.  But now, tonight, he was hungry to feel you around him, and as he slowly slid into you, he savored every moment of it. 

“Fuck,” he groaned, tossing his head back as he buried himself in your heat. “You’re fuckin perfect, kitten...”

You moaned back, the feeling of his thick cock stretching your pussy around it causing you to momentarily forget your words. As he drew out and then snapped his hips forward, you grunted, biting down on your lip as you closed your eyes. He felt incredible, rubbing past all the right spots inside of you as he found a rhythm he liked and began fucking you mercilessly. His hands were grabbing you wherever they could, be it your hips or tits or hair, and as he fell further and further into his desire for you, you could feel his chest brushing over your back as he leaned down. 

“You’re such a good girl,” he growled, nipping at your ear. “Who do you belong to?”

“Y-you,” you choked out, trying to turn and look at him. “I-I belong to you, Victor...”

“Good girl.” he snarled, squeezing the side of your ass cheek as hard as he could. 

The moan you let out was absolutely filthy, and as your pussy squeezed around him, you felt yourself beginning to come undone once more. He pounded into you and your moans and cries grew louder and louder, a symphony of pleasure as you climaxed, and Zsasz followed soon after, moaning your name in your ear as he filled you up. Your pussy milked him, squeezing every last drop out of his cock, and as he caught his breath, you could feel him pressing lazy kisses against the back of your neck. 

“Fuck,” he panted. 

You straightened up and he wrapped his arms around you, hugging you against his chest as he refused to let you go. It was quiet for a moment as you both came down from your highs, the sound of the shower the only thing breaking the silence. Finally, he allowed you to turn around, and as you faced him, you saw a surprisingly serene expression on his face. 

“Stay with me.” he said. It was less of a request and more of a demand.

“What about Roman?” you asked, legs still quivering. 

“The boss’ll understand.”

And that was that.

Zsasz washed the blood off of your skin, insisting that you let him do all the work, and afterwards, he gave you a plush bathrobe to wear. You spent the night in Victor’s bed, and you did wake him up with a surprise blowjob, even without him asking you to. After a round of morning sex, you walked out into the penthouse in your bathrobe to see Roman Sionis already sitting at the table, and for a moment, you froze. You had almost forgotten where you were, and there was your boss, Gotham’s newest and nastiest godfather, spreading some cream cheese on a gourmet bagel.

“Ah,” he said, glancing up as he heard you. “You’re still here.”

“I...uh...” 

“Mornin’, boss.” Victor said, walking out behind you. He was fully dressed, looking and acting as if he hadn’t taken home a girl the night before. 

“The car is waiting for you.” Roman grunted, far more interested in his breakfast than he was in the conversation. “Be quick about it.”

Zsasz bowed his head and turned to you, holding his hand out expectantly. When you only stared at him, he almost rolled his eyes. “Your house keys, princess.”

“My...what?” you asked. “For what?”

“So I can get your things.”

“What things?”

“You’re moving in.” Roman said dismissively, as if it were obvious. 

“...What?”

“You’ve been promoted. Or did you forget?” he asked, giving you a look that suggested he was already tired of your questions. “You’ll be staying here, until you either die, or I fire you, or both. Now, be a dear and give Mr. Zsasz your keys, so that he can get your necessities. I’ll have some new clothes ordered for you this afternoon.”

You stared at him for a moment and then looked at Victor. “They’re in my bag down in the dressing room. But--”

Before you had a chance to finish and tell him that this really wasn’t necessary, he was already gone, calling the elevator so that he could obediently go down to the club and rummage through your purse. You had no doubt that he could get into your locker on his own, and as much as you really didn’t want or need him to go to the effort, you weren’t entirely mad about it. Living with Victor--and Roman--didn’t seem like that bad a deal, and if it meant that you’d get to have more fun with Zsasz, you were all in. 

“Well, glad that’s settled.” Roman said, sitting back and wiping the edge of his mouth with a fancy little cloth napkin. “Welcome to the Sionis penthouse, Princess.”

[tangledinmdzs]

Totally don't gotta do this if you don't want to, but any MDZS characters with the best friend reader "secretly" watching over them on a date? They got the whole dumb mustache and all, and surprisingly don't get noticed until the reader makes texts them like "bro eat your food" - "turn around" or something like that? Just a funny idea I had in my head lolol

this is so cute! i really love this and played around with your ideas; hope you enjoy it; i’m also writing for characters, that i haven’t really had the chance to write much for yet.

here’s to your request~

.・゜-: ✧ :-　　-: ✧ :-゜・．

Wei Wuxian

if Wei Wuxian had been a little bit more enamored with Lan Wangji, maybe he wouldn’t have noticed it

but c’mon, you’re wearing a whole mustache for god’s sakes

and it wasn’t even like a normal one 

or a decent one (like Nie Mingjue’s)

it was a mustache that you’d see on Mr. Potatohead (Toy Story)

and honestly, even with any disguise Wei Wuxian could tell that it was you in a blink of an eye

the moment that he sees you, you hide behind the menu quickly, the most obvious giveaway in your ‘stealth mission’

Wei Wuxian laughs at himself, stares down at the cleared table from when he had just ordered

Lan Wangji looks up at him, a quiet inquisitive look that Wei Ying knows how to read without needing to look too closely

“my friend cares too much,” Wei Wuxian replies, both teasingly but also genuinely happy

because only you would care for him this much 

to go to the extent of following him around to see if Lan Wangji was an alright guy

and certainly, Lan Wangji was a more than alright guy

but having you there, sneaking around to look out for him, made Wei Ying feel even better

“give me a minute,” Wei Ying tells his date before reaching for his phone and typing out a message

a moment later, across the restaurant, your own phone lights up with a notification

best idiot: remember to take some nice candid photos of our date for insta! love ya

you’re embarrassed that your cover is blown (so much for the mustache)

and a bit startled

but when you look up, meet eyes with your best friend a few tables away

you get a wink

and you know it’s alright

Jiang Cheng

Jiang Cheng chokes on his water immediately at the sight

“oh Jiang Cheng, are you okay?” his date asks delicately, reaching for a napkin to wipe the water that dribbled down his nice shirt

“fine, i’m fine,” Jiang Cheng replies, red coloring his face as he adverted his eyes

it wasn’t good to judge people by appearance

but certainly

this person sitting a booth away didn’t care

a weird, old century top hat, fuzzy sweater vest, and a mustache falling off of their face-

wait

Jiang Cheng does a double take as his date talks on and on about their current medical school stories, or whatever it is

and Jiang Cheng has 20/20 vision, so his eyes can’t fool him

it’s definitely you

“y/n” Jiang Cheng mumbles, tiredly under his breath

“what’s that?” his date asks, in the middle of retelling and Jiang Cheng waves it off

“it’s fine, continue; how was it like post-op?” Jiang Cheng reverts and his date seems egocentric enough to go along with it

Jiang Cheng messages you under the table

me: why are you here? idiot ★彡: no i’m not me: do you think i’m stupid?

Jiang Cheng waits a bit and is a little offended that the answer he gets from you is a ‘yes’

idiot ★彡: anyways, you gotta do a better job at paying attention, or else your date is gonna be annoyed

almost as if you had jinxed him, Jiang Cheng looks up from his phone just to be caught red-handed by his date, unamused

“am i wasting your time?” his date asks

“no no, work just keeps me at times,” Jiang Cheng says, glances over his date’s shoulder to catch you holding your mustache and stuffing a piece of spaghetti into your mouth

Jiang Cheng sighs, lets you be

even though he knows you’re going to make fun of him later

Nie Huaisang

bffl ★彡: remember to relax bro ★彡

Huaisang smiles down at his phone, then mildly laughs

anxiously

because how could anyone be relaxed on a first date

bffl ★彡:  i can tell how fast your leg is shaking from my house, relax, who wouldn’t love you?

Huaisang wants to think that too

but he’s nearing the edge of his late 20s

and he still

stil!!

hasn’t really had a relationship that lasted more than a few months

me: wish me luck y/n bffl ★彡: you know i’m always the lucky one :D

and right after the text is sent, the doorbell of the restaurant rings

and the date commences

luck seems to be on his side tonight 

because whenever he looks down at his silent phone on his lap, your reminders of little things come to him at just the right moment 

like which fork to use when eating the salad

and when to act coy or cutesy and laugh into his hand a certain way

and it makes the date go well

that genuinely, Nie Huaisang feels a connection, some mild spark in him

it’s small

but it’s there

and it surprises him

that’s his first surprise

his second one

is when he’s being escorted by his date out of the restaurant and catches a very odd sight of a person following him

at first he doesn’t believe it

but then

he catches the way that a strand of you h/c falls out from under a very tight cap

and the ridiculous trench coat 

and also the timely way your advice had come in tonight

and he puts it together way too easily

“thank you so much for tonight,” Huaisang quickly averts before his date can ask why they were being followed by a person in a trench coat and a falling stick on mustache

though he will definitely thank YOU later when he gets home

Wen Ning

bestie ★彡: don’t sit too tightly it’s not an interview ★彡

Wen Ning startles at the notification on his phone

he fixes his posture more out of surprise than anything

he looks around, scanning the tables and seats

though nothing seems out of place

bestie ★彡: relax, you look like you’re about to pee yourself

Wen Ning takes a deep breath, reaches to text you back while he waits for his date to arrive

me: how do you know what i’m feeling? bestie ★彡:  i’m your bestest best friend in the world; it’s the vibes

but also, anyone can tell you’re anxious, look at that palm sweat

Wen Ning sighs, putting his phone down and wiping his hands on the sides of his jeans

luckily, it’s then that his date arrives and all is forgotten in the moment 

and the date goes pretty well

your tips help him get through most of the date intact

and honestly he’s grateful

he doesn’t understand how you can know exactly what he’s feeling and doing

he kinda thinks you have a tracker on him

but then

when the night ends,

and he’s just leading his date out to the door, he walks past a table and catches a person in a trench coat, mustache

and a glimmering opal phone case

your phone case

you confirm his suspicions by looking up, giving a little nod

and even though, you’re a little over the top

he appreciates it

[spinster-sisters]

Thank you. KHJ.

TW: Dom!Jong, Sub!Reader, this isnt exacly a Mafia au its more like it just hints at unlawful buisness practices, i honestly dont know what to put here to describe this, Dollification? perhaps? I dont know if im usuing that correctly, a lot of posessiveness, unprotected sex, general dirty talk stuff the usual, despite the tags its actually kinda sweet (perhaps i just have a fucked up perception of sweet.)

WC: 2.8k

---

"Well, Hongjoong it seems you have beaten me again,"

The older man spoke from across the velvet table, placing his cards on the surface. You couldn't help feeling smug on behalf of your lover. You stood up from the corner you were sitting in and made your way over to the table falling into Hongjoongs lap now that the game was over.

"Sorry, I guess I'm just lucky," Hingjoong spoke in a mild tone but his wide wicked smile was enough to show everyone what they already knew. Hongjoong doesn't need luck, he's just that good.

You had been seeing him for quite a while. You started out as a waitress in this very Casino that Hongjoong owned. Nobody really knows exactly what he and his friends do for a living or the legality of it but the Casino was more of Hongjoongs personal side project than an actual job. While it made a lot of money he only ever took up ownership of it because he won it in a game against the original owner.

You had been taken with the man from the moment you laid eyes on him. He radiated confidence and power in every step he took and he had the looks to match. He was absolutely stunning. How your relationship got started wasn't exactly clear but after being his personal waitress for months you ended up in his office with your clothes hanging off the back of the couch.

"How about another game?" The older man asks with a grin. Hongjoong only chuckles. The older man had been eyeing your creepily all night and you looked to Hongjoong, hoping he would understand your discomfort. Your boyfriend meets your eyes for only a moment before looking back at the man.

"No offense sir but you're all out of chips," your boyfriend replies. As he spoke one hand came to rest on your thigh kneading it slightly in his grasp.

"I wasn't thinking about chips. How about something a little more valuable?" He sleazy man asks leaning forward onto the green velvet. Hongjoong was visibly intrigued, the higher the stakes the more fun it is. He raised an eyebrow in a way that says 'im listening.'

"My hotel chain against her," the man replied pointing a crooked finger at you.

You expected a hard no or a "get the hell out of my casino." But one never came. Your head snapped up to your boyfriend's face and to your disbelief, he was smiling. He was still gripping your leg as tightly as before but his hand was inching up the bare expanse of your leg. Hongjoong only waited a moment before responding.

"Let's play,"

You felt your gut drop through the floor as the game began you felt your hands start to shake in your lap, you knew better than to talk during a game but you wanted to scream at Hongjoong for putting you through this. It's not like you weren't confident in his abilities, of course, you were. But that isn't the only factor in card games like these, at a certain point it is simply luck of the draw, and while Hongjoong certain was lucky today could always be the day that luck would fail.

The game was nearing its conclusion and you could feel your palms sweating endlessly. The dealer spoke for the final time,

You watched in fear as the dealer began distributing cards to the two men. You were squirming helplessly in your spot on Hongjoongs lap, enough so that he had to pull you against his chest to keep you still. After looking at his cards your boyfriend placed a reassuring kiss on your temple but your nerves weren't settled, just what the man sitting across the table had in mind for you, you didn't know and you didn't want to. You didn't understand the game well enough to draw any conclusions so instead, you just watched as the game unfolded.

In true expert fashion, Hongjoong held the perfect poker face, not revealing anything in expression or body language. But the old man was all too telling, though his face did not betray him, his body was telling the story of utter confidence. Fuck.

“Reveal your cards,” he told the man. He sat up straighter with a smug smile before revealing his impressive hand on the table. Indeed, you didn't know much about the game, but you knew that your odds were slim right now.

“Come on Hongjoong, show us your cards. Not everyone can win all the time.” The greasy man poked at Hongjoong. You didn't dare look at Hongjoongs face, you didn't know what you would do if he looked upset. Slowly Hongjoong pulled the hand resting on you from your body and used it to reveal his cards. It took a moment for the room to react.

“Wipe that stupid smile off your face Hongjoong! You cheated and I know it!” The older man slammed his fist on the table making you jump, Hongjoong remained composed. Relife at the realization that your love won flooded through you as the younger man waved over an assistant, who sprung into action bringing over a stack of papers.

“Calm down sir. we both know I didn't cheat, I don't need to cheat to win. Now I believe we agreed that the ownership of your hotels now belongs to me?” the papers were placed in front of the man she stared in abject horror at them.

“There is no way I am signing these!” he cried out.

“I think you will find that you are. Trust me, sir, I am not the kind of man you want to get on the wrong side of.” Your boyfriend spoke, reclining back into his chair and pulling you with him. The man gauped wildly at Hongjoong before begrudgingly signing the papers and sliding them across to him. He lifted you from his lap before standing himself. Motioning for his assistant to take the papers Hoongjong turned to the man one final time.

“What's so funny!” you snapped, glaring in his direction. He was lounging against the kitchen counter.

“Make an offer like that again and I ruin you even more than I already have.”

-------

You stomped into the kitchen later that night. You could hear Hongjoongs calm footsteps behind you, but you ignore him and swing the fridge open at took a swig from a bottle of water. You were practically slamming the door closed when you heard your boyfriend's amused chuckle.

“You are doll face,” He said through a giggle, “Getting so worked up over nothing.” Your glare hardened.

“Oh, so you think risking your girlfriend in a bet against a disgusting old man is nothing?” you threw back, taking another swig from your water.

“It's not a risk if I knew I was going to win.” He replied calmly, resting his head on his hand.

“So you were cheating?” you replied with disdain.

“Nope,” he replied, popping the “p” in emphasis, “As I said, I don’t need to cheat to win.” Your anger was only rising with each of his careless words.

‘Why would you even say that?” he asked almost childishly. You were stunned. He took your hand that was braced against the counter and led it to his lips. They placed fluttering kisses from the tips of your fingers to your wrist. His other hand began to gently cradle your hip.

“God Damn it Hongjoong! Do I really mean that little to you? Am I really just another bargaining chip? All you care about is yourself and I am over it!” You were screaming now. It wasn't your intention but you were so fucking mad. You dared to meet your boyfriend's eyes, expecting the same nonchalant look he always carried, but instead his bemused smile had dropped into a deep frown.

In a start he pushed off the counter and rounded on you, you stubbled backward onto the marble and his arms came around to cage you against the cool surface.

"You are the most perfect thing in my life, baby doll. Can't you see that?" He continued barely above a whisper.

All too quickly his hands went from slow and steady movement to feverish, like he couldn't touch enough of you. His lips were crawling up your arm and shoulder to your neck. He wasn't kissing to make marks, instead, it was quick pecks to every inch of your skin and you instinctively allowed him more room. All your anger was forgotten as his hands roamed you freely.

From where they began on your hip they had moved from your lower back to your butt, around to your tummy, and up to your chest each time taking care to caress every inch of you. You had become putty in his grasp, practically melting into the cool countertop, your eyes already glazed over and releasing soft noises.

"There she is, my little doll," Hongjoong mumbled with a quiet chuckle after observing your flushed face. His free hand reached up to cup your jaw, pulling your lolling head back to meet his eyes.

"You are still unhappy with me dolly?" He asked with a deceivingly innocent look in his gaze.

"No," you mumbled, wanting to feel the gentle pressure of his lips on you again. Hongjoong giggled freely at your wanton face.

"No," he mumbled, "my little doll doesn't know how to be upset with me does she?"

You shook your head no. How could you be mad when you could still feel the buzzing from everywhere his hands had touched. You had always bent so easily to his will and this time was no different, but you trusted him completely so it was easy to let go.

Two hands gripped your thighs suddenly. You let out a small yelp only to silence yourself, good dolls don't speak unless spoken to. His fingers dug into the flesh for a moment before cupping your thighs and nudging you up onto the counter. You followed through and pushed yourself up, spreading your legs enough so that Hongjoong could slip between them.

He was still kneading your upper thighs when he connected your lips. Hongjoong has such perfect lips and he knew how to kiss you exactly how you wanted. He was guiding you gently through the motions of the kiss, taking his time from pecking you gently to a slow precise kiss to pushing past your lips and exploring your mouth freely, all the while inching further up your legs till his hands were beneath the hem of your dress playing with the waistline of your underwear. In one quick pinch on the soft skin, he signaled for you to lift your hips enough to pull them off.

"Your already so wet baby doll," he hummed into your lips while his finger brushed your folds. "Always so ready for me. Always so good."

Your bottom was now connected to the cold counter but your body was heating faster than you could feel it. Two of his fingers gently prodded into you, slipping into your hole with ease. His firm grip on your leg kept you grounded as your hands reached out to his biceps holding on for dear life. Hongjoong had always enjoyed playing with your cunt as much as you enjoyed feeling it, he loved how silky your walls were and how they wrapped around his fingers so perfectly. He slowly pushed in and out of you at his own leisure, occasionally scissoring you open in preparation.

"You feel so nice down here dolly, so warm and wet. Almost like you were made for me" his breath fanned over your face as he spoke as he was still so close to you. His eyes were drinking in every tiny shift in your expression, your eyes were shut tight but you nodded frantically.

"Awe, you're so sweet. Wanna tell me something? Go ahead," Hongjoong cooed.

"All yours," feel past your lips in a quiet moan.

"I know doll, my most prized possession." You opened your eyes to beam at him and he gave an affectionate smile in return. His hand suddenly pulled out if you're almost bringing a whine past your lips but you held it in. You could not stop the pained expression as he was watching your face so closely.

"Don't worry doll your gonna be filled up soon." He chuckled as he spoke, pulling away from you enough to unzip his frighteningly expensive suit pants and pull his length from his boxers. Despite the sight being familiar, you blushed madly, remembering all of the times he fucked you before brought you anticipation to a new height and you could feel more wetness seep out of you onto the counter.

Hongjoong bunched your dress up around your hips and quickly pulled you to the edge of the counter and into his strong arms. Your hands came to rest in fists on his chest. One of his hands came down to grip his dick, pumping himself a few times spreading precut down his length.

"Ready to take it like a good doll?" He asked smirking at your expectant face.

"I am," you mumbled with a small nod. To focused on the desire for him to fill you up to say more. It took little else for him to thrust into you completely. There was a stretch, as there always was, but the gentle pain was only a reminder of your purpose. To take all he was willing to give you.

Hongjoong never restrained himself with you as there was no need. It only took a moment for him to build up a rapid pace and you wouldn't have it any other way. He was gripping your hips tightly keeping your body flush against his thrusts. You were twitching around him already from the stimulation he had already given you and your gasping breathes match his own soft grunts of exertion perfectly.

"Does my baby doll like it when I use her like this?" He spoke through his deep breaths. You squealed in both embarrassment and affirmation.

"This is what you love, to be used however I want, whenever I want. You really are the perfect doll." He huffed, angling his hips in just the right way to have you panting open-mouthed. Your eyes and lips were glossy with tears and saliva but you didn't care, and to Hongjoong you never have looked more beautiful than you did right at that moment. With a groan he reattached himself to your neck, pecking up and down your jugular showering you in praise.

He was pounding into you relentlessly. Hongjoong always took such good care of you, but in times like this, he allowed himself to be selfish, to use your little cunt as much as he pleased, each time forcing himself deeper and deeper into you. At times like these, he recklessly chased his own high as much as it brought you closer to your own but right now he honestly couldn't care less if you came, you would take it anyway and thank him afterward like a good girl. You could feel each thrust with deadly precision as he railed into you. It was hard to keep quiet with this kind of treatment, because as selfish as it was it still felt so good and every stroke reminded you that you were his.

Your head was positively spinning and you could feel your stomach tighten. Clearly, Hongjoong felt it as well.

"You gonna come dolly? It's ok, I'm getting there as well. Gonna fill you up so well, and you're going to take it so well aren't you." His pace was uneven as he spoke through his grunts. Your walls were clinging to him so perfectly as if you were destined for this.

"Yes, I will! I'll be good, I promise," your hands were clinging a little too tight to his shirt for you much money it cost but just as your sentence concluded you felt yourself snap. You bit your lip to keep your noises contained as waves of pleasure crashed through you and it was only a few more moments for your pulsing walls to pull Hongjoong's orgasm from him. He continued thrusting madly as each movement ripped more pleasure through your body and his cum was shooting into you in ropes keeping you full. It wasn't until Hongjoong felt the pain of overestimation himself that he pulled out.

With barely a moment to catch his breath and adjust himself, he had already sprung into action. You collapsed onto the counter without his support and you could feel his cum dripping out of you as you lay without the strength to move. A few moments of panting later Hongjoong returned to his place between your legs with a damp cloth to clean you up.

He chuckled breathily between your legs and looked up.

As he worked you twitched and mewled with every gentle movement between your oversensitive legs. At one particular stroke of the towel directly over your clit you cried out.

"Joooong!"

"Sorry baby, I know it hurts but what kind of man would I be if I didn't take care of my things," he asked flashing a million-dollar smile. As he finished his work he looked up to meet your eyes.

"Now, what do we say?" he asked.

"Thank you,"

[sindumpster]

okay but tell me why i see Jake being voiced by Will Arnett tho- i get a ton of Bojack vibes off him and idk why

Ngl I can see it haha. Probably because I love Bojack and like, certain similarities were already there but they likely got emphasized because of that haha

But like, for a list of comparisons (mild warning for spoilers? Maybe?):

-They both feel like washed-up has-beens. They both had their peak and now they don’t know what to do with themselves (though arguably Jake’s was…more of a fall from grace, but Bojack also has his falls from grace to the public eye at least).

-They both have feels about that past but also are at odds with it and compete with it. Bojack wants a new role to reinvent himself, but once he gets it he self destructs. But he also watches his own show over and over and can’t move on. Jake wants to reclaim his power and prestige, and to feel important again, but when he gets there he’s basically that Plankton meme and fizzles out. He also doesn’t know how to move on, and if he gets close to that “aha” moment he will self-sabotage.

-Both are…probably very depressed. Both abuse substances (and get into bad relationships or use sex as a coping mechanism). Both refuse help when it is offered, and demand it inappropriately. You can whine to someone else’s therapist and you can be forced to go to a therapist but you will never /see/ a therapist. Ngl, if I made the fantasy sitcom, there probably would be a Stupid Piece of Shit episode for Jake lol

-alternatively they can get into the weirdest shenanigans and nonsense happens all around them because they are volatile and impulsive and depressed. And on surface level it can be funny, but when you think about it, it’s kinda fucked.

-they’re also horrible influences and it causes problems. Bojack wins on the tragedy and more fucked up side here, but Jake has steered others in the wrong direction.

-Both totally spiral out of control. Idk how much of it shows with Jake, but he might be on a bit of a downwards trajectory. Even I haven’t figured out how that’s gonna go down esp if it’s a good or a bad ending but there’s a potential for shit to eventually catch up with Jake and for it to spiral.

-also like shit parents? Trauma? Idk Jake’s grandparents were probably fucked too. Either way they both got conditioned in the worst way by their childhoods when it comes to wanting/needing attention, but it does not excuse their actions.

-Drowning is a recurring motif. Perhaps even a plot point. For some reason. Jake’s had that association long before the show was a thing but it’s funny how that worked out.

-Where Bojack has black goo, Jake has black smoke. Again, funny how that worked out. But if you see either you know shit is gonna get trippy and anxiety provoking af. Maybe I should write a haunting poem too lol

…But yeah I can get where those vibes are coming from and I’m glad it’s not just me. Idk wtf his voice actually sounds like but he’s got the vibes lol