#:hands in head: i love storytelling. angst enjoyers be like. i love having characters in their most weakest point. they are so so fuckij

[prim-moth]

Reading fictional stories are so beautiful.nature is healing (is reading exile the game)

[silvysartfulness]

I got tagged by @ameliarating and @veliseraptor to do this writer meme thing!

How many works do you have on AO3?

Six. I only started posting fic on AO3 last year. Before that, many long years ago, I used my own websites and LiveJounal.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

177481. The absolute majority of which is of course Heaven Has A Road.

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

On AO3, only The Untamed.

But before that, I've written for Disney Afternoon's Aladdin, Slayers, Kingdom Hearts, Assassin's Creed, and one-shot fics for my own original verses as well as my friends'.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Heaven Has A Road But No One Walks It at 1194, unsurprisingly. It's my magnum opus on AO3.

Blanket Statement at 302. The first fic I wrote for the Untamed, and the first thing I posted on AO3 (Thank you, Lise, for holding my hand and walking me through it!)

And To Many More at 169

High Noon In Deserted City at 96, which is sort of funny, since it's just a picture and about 1000 words. But the premise is fun! Still hoping for some hungry writer to adopt it and write something for it. :)

Self-Inflicted at 75.

Which checks out, I guess – the longest fic with the most readers comes first, then the fluff, then the funny and finally the angsty and fucked up. XD

I still suspect The Plotbunny of Doom / The Renegades for Kingdom Hearts would score as my all time highest, though, if LJ likes and comments translated to the AO3 format. That fic took me and two friends three whole years to write together, was 104 chapters long and over 300k.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I really try! Comments mean everything to me, and I want to reply to them all! But when I'm low on spoons (which is unfortunately often) I fall hopelessly behind, and then the catching up becomes an impossible-looking chore in and of itself.

I should really set some time aside every day to catch up on the last few chapters' worth of comments... I do love the interaction and discussion a good comment can spawn!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Hm... I write a ton of angst, but only a few actually have sad endings. I'd say Eaten counts, as does Self-Inflicted, I guess. TPBoD had a very open ending that was still definitely on the somewhat hopeless side.

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Mm, it's not usually my favourite genre (though I mean, the whole Kingdom Hearts verse is a crossover in and of itself) but it depends a lot on the source material. I guess TPBoD might soft-count, since we tossed in a bunch of non-canon references with all the world-jumping.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not as such? Oh yeah, I do recall getting a very upset comment on a non-con fic I wrote back in the KH days, by someone who couldn't conceive how you could claim to love a character and then write such horrible things happening to them. But you get those occasionally. Look, crushing my favourite characters is therapy. Doesn't mean I don't love them.

The Russian fandom are loudly aggressive in their comments on some chapters of Heaven Has A Road, but that's more focused on the characters, not me personally.

On the whole, I've been pretty spared. But then, there's little point in sending hate; I just block.

Do you write smut? if so what kind?

Oh, absolutely. Haven't really gotten to that point in the posted chapters of Heaven Has A Road yet, but we're about to unleash it aplenty in the upcoming ones.

What kind? Most kinds, I guess? Soft and fluffy, aggressive and snarly, consensual, dubcon, non-con. Mostly mlm but I've written het, too. Can't remember if I've written wlw, but I've certainly headcanoned/drawn it. A bit of kink is nice.

I prefer focusing on the chemistry and sensations when I write porn, rather than detailed physical smacking and squelching and body fluids, but that's just my personal preference and writing style.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of? Not that I can remember? I have my art stolen regularly, and I've had my online identity stolen, but I don't think anyone's stolen anything I've written...

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Heaven Has A Road is being translated into Russian, and I'm insanely honoured and flattered!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes – TPBoD aka The Plot Bunny of Doom, aka The Renegades, for Kingdom Hearts. I wrote it over ten years ago together with a friend and my now wife. It was a monster of a fic, I think about 320k, and the fact that we were three people helping and pushing and encouraging each other really helped keep it going!

I don't know if I would have the focus for something like it now, but it was an amazing experience I'll always treasure.

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Oh man, that changes with each hyperfixation... I may have to say Marluxia/Vexen for Kingdom Hearts, simply because it's a ship that's been around in my life for so long. I still occasionally go back to read favourite bits of the fics I wrote for them, including TPBoD.

Currently it's SongXueXiao from The Untamed, of course, and a very strong contender overall! I've dabbled a bit in poly ships before, but this is the first time I have one as my main, and I'm love them.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Uh. I don’t really have any? Because of my burnout-brain, I can only really focus on one major project at a time, and that's currently heaven has A Road. And I'm really, really hoping I will be able to finish it!

It's all plotted out, I just need to write the stupid thing. Working on it.

What are your writing strengths?

Hm, I'd say that I've developed a voice/prose over the years that I'm actually quite happy with! And I'm good at conveying/invoking emotion, if going solely by how many people comment that I've made them cry. :D

I enjoy writing dialogue, and I love working with layers of symbolism.

What are your writing weaknesses?

The actual writing process. 🙄 I'm extremely uneven and unstructured in getting the actual words down. Also convoluted and inflated text at times - sometimes I write a lot of words without actually saying anything. And English is my second language, so just nailing the correct phrasing and grammar can be a headache at times.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

If it impacts the plot – like the POV character not understanding it, then maybe. And using terms that can't be translated, absolutely! Other than that, there's little point in making a text harder for the reader to grasp by tossing in whole sections in another language for clout. Is my personal view, at least, of course other writers may disagree.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

My first online fandom that I wrote fic for was Disney Afternoon's Aladdin show. Before that, I wrote original fic. And before that, before the internet was A Thing, I'd write and draw for stories that captivated me, just for my own entertainment. If you count that, I'd probably say Phantom of the Opera was my first – I had a whole ”everyone is a horse because that's what I know how to draw” AU when I was about 10 or so, that I'd draw lots of pictures for. When I was even younger, I used to make up stories for my younger brothers, based on movies and series we had watched together. I've always been a storyteller, one way or another, if only in my own head. I wouldn't know how not to.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I would have to say Heaven Has A Road, even though it's still unfinished. It's the first work of that sheer scope I have ever attempted by myself, and I'm honestly insanely proud of myself for what I have accomplished already!

Second would be TPBoD – The Renegades. Even though that was a shared effort, it's a very long fic that we managed to bring all the way to its intended conclusion, and I'm very proud of that, too!

Plus there are bits of both these fics I really like, and that I will go back and read for my own enjoyment occasionally.

tagging: @orodrethsgeek, @ebonykain, @fromaliminalspace, @chigrima, @soawen

[tuiyla]

She-Ra’s like, really good, people

It’s been over a week since She-Ra season 5 came out and I binged it and this is not going to be coherent but I just want to rant about it a bit before writing some more structured metas. I deffo wanna write about Catradora and how I think SPoP is the true spiritual successor to the Avatar.

But first, let me just scream about how good this show is. I already started rewatching it, pretty much straight after finishing it, and I don’t rewatch tv shows often. The exception is Avatar (seen it like 15 times) and sitcoms. But She-Ra is so layered that I felt like I needed to watch it again just to appreciate the dynamics even more.

I already enjoyed the first season but it kept getting better and better. I’m not in love with the art style and it’s definitely for a younger demographic overall than my other favourite animated shows, but like any good kids’ show it balances tone well. It doesn’t talk down to its target demographic but also includes more traditionally mature themes in a digestible and entertaining way. Not all the jokes landed for me but as the series went on I learned to appreciate the tone and the type of humour She-Ra goes for.

It’s funny to me because this is definitely the type of show I would have rejected as a kid, with all the princesses I would have deemed it “too girly” and therefore not for me because screw gender roles. There’s a degree of internalized sexism to that, for sure, a rejection of the feminine because it’s always been seen as less somehow. But there’s also a truth that, at least in my childhood of the late 90s and early 00s, children’s media targeted at girls often had a poor quality to it, at least when compared to “boys’ stuff”.

She-Ra is not only a clever, heartfelt, complex story, it also transcends that binary of having to be either for girls or boys. I know most of modern animation rejects that as well, but She-Ra embraces so many traditionally feminine qualities while also going beyond gender roles and even the gender binary. This show is so queer, man, and I love it. It’s especially impressive when you consider the source material that was literally just the girly version of He-Man. I have no beef with 80s She-Ra, haven’t seen much of it, but this is such an upgrade.

That being said, I would have loved to watch She-Ra as a kid. I’m so incredibly envious of kids, aged around 10, who get to watch this show as they’re growing up. But I am so, so, so happy for them and for the future of animation that shows like She-Ra can be made now, that they’re being made. I’m going to go into spoilers soon, but just before that: She-Ra’s a perfectly enjoyable show in many aspects. I think the worldbuilding’s pretty cool, the story feels coherent and planned out, it’s lighthearted and so genuine. That’s the word that I ultimately choose to describe the series: genuine.

I feel like so much of TV aims to be dark and gritty nowadays, animation included, and though that’s slowly turning to dark comedy or a balance between fun and serious, it’s still the norm. At some point in the last decade, creators became terrified of being judged as cheesy. Even something like the MCU bathes in bathos to avoid being cheesy. But She-Ra proves that creators shouldn’t be afraid of being genuine, of basing characters and storylines on the simple power of love. Like, it’s such a cliché trope but I think that’s mostly because it has become stale.

Noelle Stevenson has talked about the importance of love in her story and I’m so grateful for that. Through, She-Ra, she’s truly proven how powerful love can be in a story and how it doesn’t have to be cheesy. It’s just so unabashedly genuine. The power of love and friendship literally saves the day several times but it’s always so genuine and more importantly it always makes sense that it doesn’t get boring. If the foundation wasn’t there, then I’d say “well this is just super cheesy”. But the show makes a point of building relationships and making them the focal point of the story.

Alright, so, spoilers because I need to talk about character arcs and THAT KISS and just everything. I really need to write more in depth about Adora and Catra and their relationship but for now I feel like it’s so important to appreciate how they’re developed. Everything from their shared childhood to their trauma with Shadow Weaver and the finding their way back to each other, it’s just *chef’s kiss*. It’s so well-written and believable. Ngl, I do have some minor issues with Catra’s redemption arc. Let’s just say that on a scale from Kylo Ren to Zuko, she’s definitely closer to Zuko. I also appreciate Shadow Weaver’s death scene and how it allows them to move on. I didn’t see that one as Death as Redemption and it shouldn’t be. Again and again the show made it clear that she was abuse towards both girls and nothing will negate that.

From what I can tell, the fandom really latched onto Catra, even when it wasn’t clear whether she’d get a redemption arc. I think that’s important, because unlike some characters in animation, Catra’s actions were almost always framed appropriately. There was always an understanding as to where she’s coming from, how she’s acting from a place of hurt, and yet her actions weren’t justified. They weren’t suddenly all okay just because she’s hurt, too. I especially loved in the season 3 finale when Adora was allowed to finally say no, to say that Catra’s actions were not her fault. That season as a whole was beautiful, like, episode three when Adora’s struggling so much and Catra has the opportunity for a better life but she still fails to choose her own happiness because she’s too bitter over SW and Adora? It’s poetic cinema. I love that angst, so well done.

It would be so easy to misfire in Catra’s storyline and either a) write off all the awful things she does because she’s just “misunderstood” or b) irredeemably stuck in her abusive environment with no hope of escape. They balanced quite well there and managed to handle such a complex character with delicacy. I’m quite happy with how Catra was portrayed because on the one hand, she’s painfully relatable to me and I assume to many others. The audience can see their own mistakes reflected in her character because we’ve all been too stubborn, done things out of spite, refused to acknowledge that we were wrong because we were hurting so much. At the same time, I always felt like the show gave me enough space to judge Catra’s actions and acknowledge that she was in the wrong. I honestly think I would have been a better adjusted teenager is if saw this show just before my angsty years, lol.

I’m going to write more about Adora at some other point but I love how vulnerable she’s allowed to be. Protagonists never used to be my favourite characters because they all seemed the same, with two major categories: the stereotypical male hero who can do no wrong or the angsty boi who can be shitty and the text still frames him as awesome. It’s only recently with series like The Legend of Korra and She-Ra that I go “damn, protagonists can be like that, huh.” Adora is a dumb jock who tries so hard and she deserves all the hugs in the world.

Also, Catradora? Breathtaking, amazing, groundbreaking. No doubt She-Ra needed shows like Adventure Time, LoK, Steven Universe and the likes to pave the way but still, it went there. I saw people be anxious about whether they were gonna be queerbaited, but I always, idk, knew? Trusted? That She-Ra would follow through. I didn’t wait six years for Bubbline to happen for Catradora to not get their big damn kiss. The series has been so effortlessly queer from the get-go that it just made sense that they were always heading there. I did see a gif of the kiss before watching s5 and ngl, that spoiler kind of bummed me out in a way that I wanted to be surprised. But even before I saw that I wasn’t worried. And the context of their journey in season 5? That cannot be spoiled by a simple gif. You have to experience that to fully appreciate it and that is the marker of good storytelling.

I understand that, though this should be the norm by now, Noelle Stevenson still had to be smart about how she approached the execs and she wasn’t sure this could happen. I cannot tell you how happy I am about what she said regarding how Catradora was so integral to the story that the execs couldn’t not allow it. That’s so brilliant, and it feels so natural in the story. Queer love saves the day and it’s not ambiguous, it cannot be censored because you lose a part of the story without it. You did it, Noelle, you funky little lesbian, what an icon. I can’t wait to see more stuff from her.

In other news, I appreciated other characters as well, like how all the princesses got to be different and awesome in their own unique way. Season 5 was great for so many characters, Mermista got so much to work with and Spinnerella and Netossa got so much more characterization than in previous seasons. Glimmer continued to be the third most important character in the story and I’m happy about all the relationships that also got to be canon. Good characters and dynamics all around, no wonder since the show is built on that.

Such a satisfying conclusion and one that makes you feel like this is just part one of a much bigger story. Such genuine, heartfelt moments, well-developed characters, complex themes explored in a respectful and digestible way, and such an unapologetically fun show. Melissa Fumero as a side character? Yes please. Catra’s new haircut? Heck yeah! She-Ra’s new design? Oh my.

I’m not even like, super into She-Ra, and I usually don’t write so much about things I only watch casually. But this show is so good and important that I had to rant. And I will write more about it eventually, but for now I needed to get all of this out. I’d give it a better structure but if I really get into I might never end up posting it so for now here, have this ramble of love. She-Ra, of all shows, deserves that.

[aph-belanu]

ciao! hai qualche raccomandazione di fics in italiano? Mi piacerebbe leggere qualcuno, e ho pensato che forse tu ne sai più di me... grazie! 💖 (scusa se ci sono errori, non sono nativa)

Ah there's no need to excuse yourself, your Italian is more than fine, I appreciate this a lot🥺

Anyway for anyone wondering op has asked a couple of Hetalia fanfics recs in Italian(I'm going to translate the synopsis provided by the authors btw).

Il miele sul bicchiere by _Frame_ (Honey on the glass) @schmedterlingfreud

1 September 1939 – 2 September 1945

All the Second World War from Hetalia's point of view.

Without dictators, heads of the States or political ideologies. The Nations are the protagonists.

[On going: December 1941]

Genre: angst, war, historical

Chapters:220

[The historical fic in Italian.Not really the first fic I'd recommend starting from of course.I love Frame's writing and truly advise you to read her other stuff as well. If you're a gerita lover do read Come perdere la verginità grazie a WikiHow e a un pacchetto di caramelle al malto (How to loose your virginity thanks to wikihow and a box of malt candies )and Tre volte sotto la pioggia (3 times under the rain).If you enjoy op's writing as much as me she has came out with a novel of her own, published by Rossini editore Walpurgisnacht it's an historical fantasy]

Hetalia of the sex by valerydell95 and elfin emrys

Or rather:a tragicomedy in two acts on the art of love.

"Theme night. The bane of humanity. Especially if the theme happened to be that one. Couldn't they just talk about cooking, book, movies or freely speak ill of America? No. They couldn't. They had to make the most embarrassing sexual confessions."

Genre: humour

Chapters:2

[The title is inspired by the episode hetalia of the dead. Frankly one of my favorite comedy fics. Not too challenging if you're looking for something to practice your Italian, as they're only two chapters and the language is more easy compared to other suggestions, given the context. This is also a great excuse to sponsor both authors: they have a tiny special place in my heart, as they give me nostalgia of my first years in the fandom and some of their works are honestly 👌👌 as a team they focused on humour, both pure comedy and crack taken seriously. Check out Ricordi di un cantastorie (a storyteller's memories) by elfin emrys.. And anything else really. Her account is full of one shots, which are a great deal for practice once again. Tw: if you adore Alfred, can't see him do anything wrong or are extremely sensitive to certain subjects, beware reading Insanity as it touches triggering and sensitive topics. It was my first fic one the subject and I liked it a lot(it's not enjoyable, I mean it's well written)]

Caleidoscopio by HamletRedDiablo

The balance of the Sidereal Confederation had been guaranteed from time immemorial by the Axis, the firstborn in the Vatican Vargas family; the Axis was the foundation that sustained the whole universe as it was known.

But a couple of twins would have even made the sky fall, to reunite with their blood.

Genre: Adventure, Fantasy, Romantic

Chapters:28

[A great sci-fi, the very first I've ever seen in the Italian fandom. I've seen a translation by the author somewhere on ao3 but I can't really find it right now :( ]

You can find the complete list of the most popular hetalia fanfics on EFP here

Among them I've read and recommend:

Alfred e la mirabolante macchina dell'Ucronia(Alfred and the amazing uchronia machine) by tonycocchi and really any of his works.

Together in Italy by ChiaraLilianWinter(unfortunately uncompleted)

Centoquarantaquattro anni vergine(144 years a virgin)by Princess of the Rose(I like other of her works as well btw but a couple I've simply haven't read out of personal preference or sensibility;she has written about 2p characters as well if that might interest anyone)

die Krähe by Akrois(might not be for everyone,touches sensitive subjects)

Quello che vedi nella tela (what you see on the canvas) by ,once again,RedHamletDiablo

I've heard great things about l'appartamento spagnolo (the Spanish apartment)and even read a parody spurred by it that I can't unfortunately find but only ever read dead man walking (a one shot that belongs to that universe)

Authors:

Check out LadyWhiteWitch (I know she has a Tumblr please let me know if you know the @ so I can tag her) she has great stuff and Generale Capo di Urano, you can't go wrong there's anything for anyone(her Kadın made me cry like a baby).

If you're gerita trash like me you might also like LB Shadow last two works (but her other stuff is great as well!!) aaand definitely _Black or White_'s ffs. And Wanderlust Jake on wattpad. Yes you can find great stuff on there as well , like Farfallaccia 's one shots I've recently discovered.

I also really like we deserve a soft epilogue, my love by @mughettonellaneve (mostly because of the theme at hand ahah very maturely discussed)

If you're a Seborga lover this is for you Liguria&Seborga: Storie d'una Regione Borbottante e di un Principato Indipendente dal '63 (Liguria &Seborga: stories about a complaining region and a principality who's been independent since 1963) keep it close to your heart, I sure do.

If you love Romano and a good humour genre one shot check out La Tigre Blanche.

Please stop me I could go on forever.

All you need is a quick research on EFP really:) it's a very intuitive website.

[piccolina-mina]

Hi, im the anon wondering about which character is the favorite. Tbh i was just curious, but i understand how that could create drama 😅 my bad. Youre probably thinking im from the rnm fandom and you would be right. I had a hunch of which character it was, but i wasnt positive. I dont really see them playing favorites in terms of writing but that might just be because the favorite character is also my favorite character. I was curious as to your opinion but I understand if you dont wanna answer

I think narratively the show favors Michael. The writers openly discuss how much they love writing for him. He's everyone's favorite. He's Carina's favorite. He's a fan favorite. And that is fine.

But I do think there are some days when it's so blatant that it's a clear flaw on the part of those creating the narrative. There are many layers to this too, some more disconcerting then others, but I'll stick to the narrative.

The fact that I (and others I'm sure) don't actually have to mention his name and people automatically know sort of proves the point.

And it's not a slight against his character or the actor, and it's not to suggest that his storylines aren't enjoyable either. Case in point, personally, I think he and Alex are having the strongest personal arcs out of everyone this season.

But then, that isn't exactly surprising is it?

More often than not, I feel like it's Liz's story in name only, but consistent, deep, gritty, well thought out etc storytelling falls on Michael. I can see and feel all the time and energy dedicated to this specific character.

That's cool, but when you have an ensemble cast, the hope is that it's spread out a bit better. The first season is testing the waters. The second season gives you a better idea of how things are and will be now that there is a rhythm.

In the second season, Liz, our lead, has gotten lost and swallowed up in the plot. Jeanine is great and has some shining moments, but she doesn't exactly have her own personal story that isn't wrapped up in alien stuff. This is where it's frustrating that ... we don't spend a lot of time with the Ortechos, something they've attempted to rectify a bit this season, but it's still mostly unsuccessful.

This is where her arc with Rosa has not been as strong as it should be and got lost in Liz trying to bring Max back. This is where I repeatedly point out the lack of focus on her relationships outside of the pod squad. Her friendships with Maria and Alex suffer a great deal and honestly with Kyle as well.

This is where all things alien consume her, and she doesn't seemingly have a life or rather chooses to expend any focus to a life outside of the pod squad and their issues.

And this is where because of all her energy being put into such a narrow focus on solely alien issues often at the expense of every other facet of her life, she often feels decentralized from her own narrative.

But we have Michael, and I do think one of many reasons he's such a favorite is because of all the focus he gets and how well-rounded and developed he is compared to the others. I mean if that's the character everyone pours everything into ... then yeah, he would be the favorite, yeah?

He's fun to play with, the witty oneliners, the bad boy with a heart of gold, the misunderstood tragic not a hero but really a hero, the lovable jackass, the endearing "screwup" so on and so forth. He's wrapped up in a bow, the catnip of all the most endearing tropes.

And they love peeling back layers for him and developing him and expanding on his background and characterization carefully and thoughtfully.

And that's awesome and enjoyable even, but when you have an ensemble cast and it doesn't begin to be spread about evenly, then it's a reasonable nitpick.

I feel like we have a better grasp on his past than any other character. He naturally was the one who wanted to go back home, but almost all of the past alien history and folklore has essentially centered him or involved him more so than Isobel and Max.

He's the one who heads to and finds out about Caulfield. He's the one who sees his mother and where the aliens were held. He's the one who watches her die in front of him. He's the one who continued to be tied into that plot while they hand waved why Max and Isobel weren't interested in learning more when they dropped enough breadcrumbs to support why they should be.

Until this season, until very recently with Isobel, everything related to their origins fell on him, he is the face of the pod squad being invested in finding out about their history. It then ties in with his tragic backstory as the foster kid who never had nor felt "home."

By spending a season and a half essentially centering him alone in a narrative that should involve all of them, it seemingly made it his plot. And that's BEFORE we even get to these recent revelations with Sanders and this implication that Michael was "the special one" not Max (which the mere idea of a special one at all was not and has not been something I particularly care to subscribe to in the first place), so it's doubling down and solidifying something they didn't need to emphasize this much.

The alien past has always felt like Michael's story and Max and Isobel are just hitching a ride. The many ways it was only tied to Michael makes it that way. It was Michael that Jesse had a file on.

It's Michael whose first love is a product of the Manes Project Shepherd element. It's Michael who gets that conflict with Alex.

The Valentis have just as much ties to that as the Manes and yet that angle is barely explored or used to add an extra layer to the tension between Max and Kyle for example.

It was just barely used to flesh out Kyle during the first season, and then seemingly dropped altogether this season when he should have just as much claim in this narrative as all three pod squad members and Alex.

Ironically, this is a big disservice to Isobel. And this is where this exclusive focus on pouring so much into one character comes at the expense of others.

Isobel, people like her and all, but when I look at the actual narrative and her place in it, if not for the fact that she's an alien, she's not a character with much purpose, and that's a huge problem.

Because narratively, outside of being used as a victim, they honest to goodness don't know what to do with her. They barely invested enough in her character to give her a fully formed, consistent personality. There's no real pull there. And as the only female alien, they could have done so much more beyond being a vessel for Noah and an abortion storyline where the only point was to make a statement about women and reproductive rights that didn't land as intended because of Isobel's privileges and access.

Max benefits from being the co-lead and being part of the primary love story. And then of course there is the eternal and patently unfair and imbalanced fraternal angst that ALSO is more often than not used to serve Michael's storyline and development.

It's about Michael working through his resentment. It's about Michael's abandonment issues. It's about Michael's battle with self worth. And 2.05 was about Michael realizing how much his brother always loved him. And him growing from that realization. And him saving his brother.

Just like now, it's about Michael protecting Max and "suffering" for it. It's about Michael being a dark horse martyr and sin eater for his siblings after taking the blame for killing the girls from Isobel and now damning himself to a screwed up life on Max's behalf.

The weight of the revelations geared toward Michael. The Sanders connection was significant and that was ushered in through his connection to Michael.

In the same vein we found out Michelle Valenti has what should be an equally as impactful and longstanding connection with Max ... but did it carry the same weight as Michael and Sanders at all even though those respective relationships have run neck in neck throughout the series? No.

We know Maria was sidelined all first season. This season most of what they've given us feels performative to address the concerns people had because of how things are handled ... with her splitting redundant narratives with side characters, having things happen offscreen, or shuffled to a side, or left on the editing floor.

And her biggest relationship all season is? Michael.

Kyle is getting sidelined this season. There's so much we don't know and could about him. His love interest storyline also feels performative and perfunctory... they didn't invest in it at all. It was like going through the motions.

Rosa's storyline hasn't exactly taken off as you'd have expected given the circumstances. And they just jumped around with key and crucial character building and meaningful moments with that too. They sailed right on past the Maria and Arturo reveals without letting them breathe. Almost like they just didn't have any strong interest in doing much outside of hitting the necessary notes: tell Maria, reunion with Arturo, save Max, overdose.

Liz's core relationships are all over the place. Maria, Arturo, Rosa, Alex, Kyle ... not enough investment in them. Not enough digging deep into them. Not enough exploration. While Max was gone most of the season. And she worked with and provided support to Michael and Isobel, hung out with Cam, but continuously neglects the aforementioned others who should matter.

But Michael's core relationships have layers and stay intact ( Max, Isobel, Alex, and Maria) and he gets substance with other ones ... Kyle ... Sanders ...

So yeah, nothing wrong with having favorites. And if that person is your favorite then maybe it's easier not to care or think too hard about it or whatever.

But the reason I dislike when you can tell when one character is a favorite is because of how it affects the narrative overall.

It seriously impacts the storytelling. It's like writing entire chunks around a character and this specific position you want them instead of writing the story and weaving in the character.

It can take me out of a piece when I can tell the objective is to get to a precise moment with a specific character. When I can tell that some of the writing is obligatory and then "the real fun" happens with X.

It's like stuffing your face with all of your vegetables because you have to in order to get to that ice cream Sundae. Like "if I get through A-W then my reward will be Z."

This is me coming from an objective viewpoint because I can separate when analyzing. I have actually enjoyed Michael a lot this season. He and Alex have had the best character growth this season, in my opinion, and I really love that.

But this is also a glaring issue, and I hate when favoritism bleeds into a series, especially an ensemble cast when it leads to issues with the storytelling.

And despite my enjoyment, that's what I feel is happening here a lot.

It certainly isn't the first and only show I've noticed this with. And yeah, I've even made these same observations and criticisms when it's my favorite character too.

It's the same on another series I watch with one of my favorite characters, and it's so frustrating except in that case, it's a character who can do no wrong even when they're wrong, and ... that's a whole other discussion.

But yeah. I don't expect agreement with this. It's probably one of those unpopular opinions or hot takes that can definitely bug people, especially those whose favorite character is Michael.

But this is my observation and why I feel that like him or not, storytelling suffers, is predictable, or underwhelming, or annoying, or jarring when you can sense the obsession and favoritism.

[mautadite]

january book round up

27 books this month! the most i’ve read in a month in quite some time, and a good start to the year. a couple days late because i’ve been feeling a bit meh. i doubt i’ll be able to read this much at any point this year. but it’s nice to get a good strong head-start on my yearly goal. a mix of audiobooks and e-books so far.

a land so wild - elyssa warkentin ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ a really lovely epistolary/found media m/m romance story, set during the 1840s, about a ship captain and a naturalist trying to chart a northwest passage in the arctic, and find a ship that was lost five years ago trying to do the same thing. very beautifully told, with lots of emotion that you’d think would be lost because of the mode of storytelling.

how to bang a billionaire - alexis hall ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ a re-read. i remember being very sceptical of this when i first read it, but now that i’ve finished the entire series there’s so much i appreciate about it.

trade me - courtney milan ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ my first courtney milan book, after hearing a lot of good things about her. the hype was deserved! i like her writing a lot and this book (a romance between a poor chinese-am daughter of immigrants, and a billionaire heir with an eating disorder) touched on a lot of stuff that you don’t typically see in romance novels. particular what it mean and what it feels like to be poor. this was probably my favourite treatment of billionaires in a novel (at least, ones where they don’t get beheaded).

hold me - courtney milan ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ the second in the series, equally enjoyable. the hero of this novel has to confront and own up to his sexism in ways that a lot of romance novels would simply let men get away with! if i’d known that that’s part of what the book covered i might not have been enthused to read it, because while i genuinely believe bigoted people can change for the better, i’m not super interested in reading about it. but i really enjoyed how milan wrote it, and the romance was lovely. (also the heroine is trans, nice.)

my lady’s lover - nicola davidson ⭐️⭐️⭐️ not a lot of substance, but it’s historical lesbian romance, which is my eternal catnip. a lady’s maid who’s the member of a society for sexual freedom falls in love with her mistress, and happily discovers that the feelings are returned. there’s sex, some angst, and a happy ending,

a lady’s desire - lily maxton ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ another historical f/f romance. pretty low stakes, without much external conflict, but it had good writing and great characters, and i’ll always have a soft spot for childhood friends to lovers. and let’s be real: i mostly picked this up because of the cover. a woman with her head in another lady’s lap, gazing gayly at her? yes, thanks.

rebound remedy - christine d’abo ⭐️⭐️ eh! m/m holiday romance, about a guy who gets dumped before christmas, has a whirlwind rebound romance with his bartender, and then starts falling deeper for him. nothing bad about it, but i just wasn’t feeling the romance. i’ve read shorter stories that had more chemistry and character interaction.

don’t let go - cynthia dane ⭐️ another f/f romance that i got mostly because of the cover, but this one let me down hard. i liked that it was set in taiwan; had a lot of cultural nuance and tidbits that i enjoyed, but everything else, the writing, the editing, and characters, the chemistry... it was a bust. it also had a weird and baffling approach to mental illness, and managed to be yet another book that makes me hate rich people. also... the two authors credited are the pseudonyms of the same person skfjhdfkj ihni why she’s crediting herself twice.

alone - e.j. noyes ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ LOVED THIS. f/f mystery/thriller-ish romance, though the mystery aspect is admittedly light. noyes has lovely prose and a good sense of storytelling, but the romance is where this really shone for me. which... idk, i’m aware that it might not be for others who read this book. but something about the way olivia fell so helplessly in love with celeste, everything celeste does to hold on to olivia... it appealed to me on a visceral level.

boystown book 1 - marshall thornton ⭐️⭐️⭐️ three short stories about a gay private eye solving mysteries in the community in the early 1980s. it reminded me of how much i love short form mysteries; there’s just something about stories being told that way that i can’t resist. i was also kind of charmed by the way our main character tripped into bed with a cute twink like every 10 pages. :3

poems i sleep next to - shelby eileen ⭐️⭐️⭐️ a collection of contemporary poems. really enjoyable. nothing wowed me, but several poems moved me.

how to talk to nice english girls - gretchen evans ⭐️⭐️⭐️ early 20th century f/f romance between a spirited american heiress and a nice proper english girl. low stakes, character driven. not really character driven enough actually; i felt like they didn’t get to spend enough time knowing each other. and some more external conflict wouldn’t have hurt. but it was hot and fun and well-written.

by his rules - j.a. rock ⭐️⭐️⭐️ an m/m romance that looks at abuse in bdsm communities, and spends a good long time on recovery, survival, and healthy relationships that involve kink. i really could not get into the discipline stuff, but i really liked that the main characters worked for their HEA; nothing clicked magically into placed for them, and aiden was given space and resources to work out his trauma.

the wolf and the girl - aster glenn gray ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ a retelling of little red riding hood set in early 20th century russia and france that focuses on the friendship between two young women. simple story, very beautifully told.

the secret diaries of anne lister - anne lister ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ i started reading this in the middle of last year, after i finished gentleman jack, and i was basically reading snippets at a time until december, and then by january i was eating it all up. i LOVED this. i loved the diary of this at times manipulative, haughty, but kind-hearted and tender and clever woman, and all of her loves and struggles and observations. there’s just something... very good about knowing and seeing that lesbians have always existed, and hearing her first hand accounts is just... GREAT. really looking forward to the next volume.

oh, earthman! - berlynn wohl ⭐️⭐️⭐️ an anthology of short stories. weird, fun, scifi-flavoured m/m erotica.

emma - jane austen ⭐️⭐️⭐️ took me long enough, i know! but i really really thoroughly enjoyed my time with this book, especially the audiobook, whose narrator i loved. i loved emma: her cleverness and wit and finesse and all her terrible blunders. though i could tell where the story was going, the getting there was really fun, and i super duper enjoyed the romance (though at one point i got seriously squicked out haha). and fight me: i adored miss bates, i thought she was the best character in the book. LOVE a spinster who don’t know when to shut her trap but is earnest and kind and gentle-hearted and GOOD.

«légendaire.» - kai ashante wilson ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ kaw, i’m begging you, PLEASE write another fell length novel. or novella. please! i love his writing and world-building so so so much, i flip out thinking about it. until he does, these short stories will have to suffice. this was great: everything i love about his writing, revisiting the world and concepts that we’ve seen in his other books, with mesmerising characters and a tragic, but soulful tale.

a conspiracy of truths - alexandra rowland ⭐️⭐️⭐️ i love stories about stories, and as far as that goes, this a pretty good one! the one way it failed to grasp me was on the character front; i just didn’t enjoy the main character as much as i could, or as much as i was meant to, and i felt at times he was too far removed from the plot. basically, chant is a master storyteller travelling in a foreign land, when he’s falsely accused of witchcraft and spying. the novel details how he uses storytelling to get himself out of the pickle, and all the consequences that follow. there are some amazing side characters in this (esp. his apprentice, who i will definitely read the nest book for).

animal farm - george orwell ⭐️⭐️⭐️ felt like rereading this, so i did. and i mean, it’s animal farm! it holds up.

the overdue life of any byler - kelly harms ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ like i said above, i like books about books, and i got this thinking it would be something like that? but it’s more about a single mother who gets the chance to take some time off from her kids and her life, have fun, find romance, and how she deals with managing that, and the guilt, and all the elements that are introduced/reintroduced to her life. i don’t think this is an amazing book, but it’s a lovely one, and i know there are middle aged mothers out there who would benefit from reading it. it’s not about romance (though there’s a cute romance in it); it’s about motherhood and being there for yourself as much as your kids.

the subs club 1&2 - j.a. rock ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ the first two books in an m/m romance series. a group of friends is still reeling after one of them dies at the hands of an irresponsible dom. they decide to form the subs club; a website to review and rate doms, with an eye towards making the community safer for subs, though it doesn’t really work out that way. the first book follows dave, who ends up getting involved with a guy who’s eerily like ron swanson from parks and rec, and the second follows miles, a masochist who gets involved with a guy who likes to pretend to be a vampire (lmao??). i have to tip my hat to j.a. rock, who seems to have a knack for getting me to read things i’d be otherwise sure i wouldn’t be interested in. and i mean, even after reading, i’m pretty sure i don’t want to read other books about domestic discipline or s&m or pretend draculas, but her characters and plots are well written and engaging and i had a really good time. although, i have to mention: the second book dealt with internalised racism in a way that... while well meaning, was definitely not very deftly done.

alice & jean - lily hammond ⭐️⭐️⭐️ post wwii f/f romance set in new zealand. a young widowed mother falls for the dashing woman who delivers her milk every morning. they have to contend with community scrutiny, an old friend of alice’s husband, and her bitter old mother to fight their way to happiness. i enjoyed it; it was simple and the romance was incredibly sweet, though the writing did drag at times.

american dreamer - adriana herrera ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ DELIGHTFUL. the very definition of feel good romance! a young dominican-american man moves to the outskirts of new york to start his food truck, and almost immediately meets a cute librarian who turns his head. i flipping love queer romances with characters from the caribbean; it just feels so good when slang is part of the language of love.

minotaur - j.a. rock ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ i read four books by this author this month, and this is hands down my favourite. i don’t know man, combine girls and monsters and lesbian romance and i”M THERE. thera is a teen orphan sent to a home for girls at the edge of town. there, she makes friends, raises hell, falls in love with the mysterious new girl, and also becomes obsessed with stories of the minotaur, half woman half monster, locked the labyrinth in a cliff not far away. this story appealed to me in so many ways, and i really hope the author writes more f/f in the future.

two dads and three girls - nick (yu) he ⭐️⭐️⭐️ the autobiography of a gay man growing up in china, and the story of how he finds himself, finds love, and becomes a father. very sweet.

whew. that took me a while lol. that’s it for january. i probably (hopefully) will be too busy to read as much this month, but i have some interesting books on my plate. currently listening to an audiobook of beneath a scarlet sky, which is unfortunately underwhelming, and i’ll probably move on with some fun YA.

[littlehollyleaf]

Name ten favourite characters from ten different things (books, tv, film, etc.) 

Then tag ten people

Tagged (ages ago, whoops!) by @castiel-saved-me-from-myself 

(I’m sorry, I got distracted!)

1.Supernatural. Castiel.

Obviously. I may be out of the fandom now, but I’ve never loved a character as much as Cas, and probably never will.

2. Good Omens. Aziraphale.

Thought I’d put both my darling angels at the top :) I suspect that without Zira there to pave the way Castiel may not even have existed, so I love him double - for himself and for Cas as well :p 

While really quite different when it comes to their personalities (just think how Zira would SHUDDER at Cas’ trenchcoat), they share a lot of character traits and tropes (mini-series!Zira anyway, maybe less so in the book, or less obviously anyway), so, no surprise that I should adore them both. I’ve also said before, and I stand by it, that Aziraphale is sort of a combination of my favourite aspects of both Cas and Dean in one, with Cas’ struggle with Heaven/god and trying to be a good angel and finding he loves humanity/earth more, plus Dean’s whole ‘performing Dean’ thing and repression of queer feelings he is scared to admit to (out loud) because he believes they are somehow ‘wrong.’ 

...just to give a little insight into my feelings about these two that was neither needed nor asked for...

4. Hellblazer. NBC Constantine. Legends of Tomorrow. John Constantine. 

Aaaand the other guy I love twice because Cas, and indeed spn in general, kinda owe their existence to him. Though in turn his fabulous live action portrayal by Matt Ryan probably owes its existence to spn and Castiel’s popularity. So... there’s a weird ouroboros situation happening with my favs here that makes my head spin whenever I think about it, but I love it - stories within stories built on stories feeding off stories, which connects to wider themes of story and storytelling being vital and intrinsic to life and stuff.

Anyway, despite his wardrobe, Johnny is NOTHING LIKE CAS. He is, in fact, a lot like Dean. But I like him more. Maybe because he’s British :p He has the whole ‘repressing his feelings’ things, a bit like Zira, but it’s not because he thinks they are wrong, it’s more of a coping mechanism to deal with the constant tragedy/trauma his life/lifestyle/fate causes him to suffer. But whatever the reason, I like my characters facing that struggle :) (actually the British element is probably way more significant to my enjoyment of him than I’ve been fully aware of... that’s probably why I loved Zira so fast as well... obviously they are both a completely different class of British, literally, but the fact they ARE British is INTRINSIC to both their characters, and I guess a little, vaguely patriotic part of me is excited by that... :p)

4. Gotham. Edward Nygma.

Since I’ve started giving explanations - I love Eddie because he’s also got the whole ‘emotionally repressed’ / out of touch with (his) emotions thing going on (as seen in Zira and Cas), but with the addition of various geeky / ‘tech guy’ character traits that I also love.

5. Doctor Who (Classic). Vislor Turlough.

I waxed poetic once about how I liked Gotham’s Edward Nygma because he reminded me a bit of Turlough. That was early on in my Gotham days though and given how Eddie developed I don’t see as many similarities now. Turlough shares some of Eddie’s ‘dark’ traits however - self-centered, often lacking in empathy for others and nonplussed (sometimes even happy) to see them get into trouble or hurt. But ultimately his attempts to be self-serving and cowardly end up thwarted by him developing feelings for specific individuals despite his best efforts, which is what I enjoy about him (and actually that’s a lot like Eddie still, huh... their endgame’s are opposing though ofc - while Eddie goes on to embrace being a villain, Turlough gives up on villainy and even becomes a bit of a hero, now and then). Plus, Turlough is the ONLY Companion (IIRC?) to have joined the Doctor specifically in order to MURDER him and... idk, I just think that’s cool :P

6. Doctor Who (New). Donna Noble.

(I’m trying not to double up on fandoms/shows so I can cover more, but New and Classic Who count as different things, kinda, right...?)

Donna doesn’t really fit any of the character traits I’ve talked about above, though I guess her low self-esteem is something that all my other favs share in various ways (though it’s not such an EXPLICIT aspect of their characters and story arcs as it was for Donna I’d say). What I first loved about her was that after YEARS of New companions (and other randoms) being literally in love with the Doctor, she had a strictly platonic relationship with him. Yeah, I think maybe the show was a bit heavy-handed about it, but even so it came as a huge breath of fresh air and frankly a RELIEF to me. Not that I’m opposed to the Doctor having romantic/sexual  relationships, it was just that... coming from a childhood love of the Classic series where that just... didn’t happen (save a fleeting kiss in the TV Movie - which I actually enjoyed fyi!), it just... idk, was starting to stretch my credulity that EVERYONE seemed to be falling for him maybe? Or at least for me it was growing tiresome. So the fact she didn’t have that element to her character/story was a plus. Then I just adore how loud and brash she is when calling anyone, including the Doctor, out on their shit (I envy her that maybe). Plus I like the way she isn’t... traditional TV pretty, you know? (ie. young and slim, like a lot of other companions).

...or maybe I just like redheads *shrug emoji* 

7. Spartacus. Naevia.

(she has two actresses okay? and they both deserve kudos!)

Truth is I love FUCKING EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW. Spartacus is like... my PERFECT SHOW. There isn’t a single moment, a single plotline, a single character that I don’t enjoy. I have never even CONSIDERED looking up or writing fic because the finished product is completely satisfying exactly as it is. God. But I wanted it represented in this list so I had to pick someone!

Considering the time period there couldn’t really BE a ‘geeky, emotionally repressed with low self-esteem’ character :p BUT nearly ALL of the characters have the whole ‘struggle to understand/discover who they are’ thing and the ‘who I am and want to be is counter to who I’ve been told I am / should be’ arc, on account of the main cast being rebelling slaves (though the other characters are equally complex and compelling and I love them too - Lucy Lawless in particular is incredible!). Anyone who’s seen me blog about the show before might have thought I’d pick either Agron or Nasir as my favs, since I do like to squee over their romance. But whenever I think about the show it’s usually Naevia who I remember first, because her character arc/development just BLEW ME AWAY. She went from someone I’d kinda dismissed at first as a typical het love interest to a WARRIOR GODDESS and you SEE all the key moments of that growth, you FEEL it, it makes ALL THE SENSE. And her romance with Crixus, which again I was initially a bit dismissive of as a typical, sudden, weak het romance, grows into, imo, one of the deepest, most developed, most believable love stories in the show. So yeah. Naevia. Amazing.

8. Due South. Ray Vecchio. 

(he’s the guy not the dog - gifs were limited! ...also the dog is actually a wolf, it’s a whole thing... that doesn’t need exploring at this juncture)

Ray was my first TV crush :P He had a bit of a sidekick vibe to him I guess, which I like (lead characters tend not to interest me as much). He wasn’t ‘geeky’ exactly, but he def had the ‘trying to look/act cooler than I am’ thing going on... also an obsessive attachment to his vintage car... meanwhile his partner Benny was the stoic, ‘British, stiff upper lip, keep emotions in check’ one who was always trying to live up to the ideal persona dictated by his people/employers, in this case the Royal Canadian Mounted Police... HUH, so... it’s actually SUPER WEIRD that I ended up loving Cas and Zira over Dean and Crowley when it seems pretty clear suddenly that my first big fictional fav was CLEARLY the Dean-Crowley to Benny’s Cas-Zira......?? Ray was FUNNY in a way Dean and Crowley aren’t though, I think? He def filled a ‘comic relief’ slot on the regular and I liked that a lot (it also made his serious, angsty moments EXTRA serious and angsty, and extra angst is something I always love!)

9. The Librarians. Eve Baird.

Remember this little show? It was... is... sorta ridiculous. Not amazing. Based on some... very cheap, very OBVIOUS Indiana Jones rip-off films, that were also ridiculous and... not... great (the third one is the best, with an awesome performance by Stana Katic aka Kate Beckett as a vampire, but I digress). But... idek, I am EXTREMELY FOND of the series for some reason :p

There are a WHOLE BUNCH of characters that fit my ‘type’ more than Eve tbh... in fact... probably every.single.other.main.cast.member (save perhaps Jenkins?) shares the traits above that typically make a character my fav. But... EVE! I just... think she’s neat! ...maybe it’s BECAUSE all the others are main/lead characters that makes me gravitate towards her? In a cast where ‘geeky, socially awkward, struggles with emotions’ is the norm, Eve being the no-nonsense, socially competent, badass soldier type therefore becomes different and thus more interesting to me? Also, much like with Donna, I appreciate that she’s an older woman who gets to have a full character and plot of her own. There’s also something about her romance with Flynn that... makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

10. Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Jonathan Levinson.

(tumblr gif search failed me so I had to grab from elsewhere...)

Listen. Look. Okay. Buffy is pretty old school these days so, for anyone not in the know, as a character, originally, Jonathan... he wasn’t even a side character, he wasn’t even REOCCURRING, he was barely a background character. For several episodes he didn’t have a name and it wasn’t until several seasons after he became ‘Jonathan’ that he actually got a surname. Danny Strong was just an actor who happened to be occasionally on-hand when the script called for a random to have a line, until eventually that happened often enough for Joss to think ‘hey, you know what, let’s make this guy an actual part of the show...’ 

He got a couple of episodes focused on him in S03 and S04 respectively, but didn’t become a regular until S06 (and wasn’t in S05 AT ALL). Other than that he had a HANDFUL of ‘blink and you’ll miss it’ moments here and there, not even full scenes for the most part, usually lasting no longer than the above gif.

I tell you all this so that when I say childhood me (well... somewhere between 12 and 14 years anyway) was OBSESSED with this character in the show, and I mean O B S E S S E D (to the point of spending hours painstakingly making VHS recordings purely of the episodes he was in), you understand how UTTERLY BIZARRE that was. Because this obsession pre-dated S06. Was, in fact, in full swing during the airing of his S04 episode - which was, like, a fucking DREAM COME TRUE for freakily obsessed me fyi, because the whole episode was constructed with him as the LEAD CHARACTER, because he’d performed a spell to make him super awesome. They even changed the title sequence to read ‘Jonathan’ instead of Buffy! And while other fans were no doubt just lol-ing at the random I was bouncing about on my sofa all ‘MY TIME HAS COME!’ and fucking SWOONING over seeing MY CHARACTER suddenly in the spotlight and getting to do crazy fun OOC shit like this -

Then when S06 rolled around and HE WAS A LEGIT REGULAR, omg, I was in HEAVEN! First TV boxset I ever bought that - Buffy S06 :P

So... yeah. A bit of a fav. Geeky. Outcast. Slowly grows more morally grey, what with that spell I mentioned and also the fact he was teamed with the ANTAGONISTS in S06. I guess you could say he was the beginning of a lot of my fav fictional character traits/tropes (though looking back - I think his ‘villainous’ teammates in S06, Andrew and Warren, are more my ‘type’ these days, and I did end up loving Andrew especially a whole damn lot, but at the time I’d been a Jonathan fangirl for so.fucking.long. there was just no chance anyone else in the show was ever gonna come close to my heart!)

THE END.

Sorry not sorry for the tmi. I got a bit too into this one.

Actually sorry I have so few women on the list :( Internalised misogyny/sexism is a real thing and I spent a lot of my life being... somewhat unfairly dismissive of female characters or at least prioritising male ones over them. I’m working on it.

Ten people is SO.MANY. to tag. But I might as well do this right this time, since I’ve come so far. But if you’d rather not play, no worries! <3

@enchantersnight @momecat @bold-sartorial-statement @vampirebillionaire @edwardnashtons @miss-olivia-cellophane @knightinpinkunderwear @supes9 @leaper182 @hamburgergod

Honourable mentions (because I CAN):

Gotham. Lucius Fox.

Gotham. Fish Mooney.

Gotham. Tabitha Galavan.

Doctor Who. The Doctor.

Doctor Who. The Master/Missy.

Supernatural. Hannah.

Supernatural. Naomi.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Andrew Wells.

[fallintosanity]

so I just re-read Nevermore, the unintentionally final book in the Cal Leandros series by Rob Thurman. Mostly I was rereading it on the hopeless crossover nerd whim of “Noctis Lucis Caelum and Cal Leandros look remarkably similar but are basically polar opposites in terms of personality and it would frankly be hilarious if they somehow got switched and Niko had to deal with Noctis, and Ignis (or better yet, Ardyn) had to deal with Cal”. 

But I’d forgotten how much I dislike the last couple books in the series despite what should be Sanity-flavored plot crack in Nevermore in particular (Cal time-travels eight years to the past to save his younger self from an assassin), and I’ve been thinking about why, and what went so terribly wrong with a series I love so much. I’ve been able to isolate three main reasons why the ending of the series frustrates me so much and why, I think, interest in the books dropped off so badly that the planned eleventh book was never published. 

Cut for long ramblings about writing and storytelling (also spoilers for the entire Cal Leandros series). 

The first reason is purely technical: Nevermore appears not to have been edited for spelling, punctuation, and grammar (SPaG). At all. I’m talking glaringly obvious mistakes like effect instead of affect, ‘Goodfellow grin, sword out, “I’ve been looking forward to this...”’, run-on sentences galore, and sentences just straight-up missing subjects, verbs, or objects; or which otherwise make no grammatical sense. 

Thurman’s writing style has always had a bit of a... rhythm, I suppose, to it - characters tend to speak in long complex sentences with entire asides in the middle. It’s part of the appeal of her books, normally. When properly edited, her almost lyrical sentences give her books a unique and enjoyable flow. But in Nevermore, at least once a chapter and frequently more often, I had to stop reading, go back to the beginning of the paragraph, and re-read the sentence only to discover, yes, it really is missing a vital part of its structure, or its tense doesn’t agree with the sentences before and after (or occasionally with itself). Being thrown out of the book that frequently makes it very hard to read. You can’t get deeply invested in what the characters are saying if you can’t understand them. 

The second two reasons are more complex, and fairly tightly intertwined. One of them is the entire issue of Robin Goodfellow. A good pass or three by an editor would have been helpful here, too, not just for SPaG, but also because Robin goes from straddling the line between “overbearing yet charming” and “obnoxious third wheel”, to straight-up puck ex machina. The plot of Nevermore is quite solid and enjoyable for the first half - but then Robin shows up. From there, it’s a downhill plunge of hand-waving his vast yet utterly unexplained network of “connections” or “minions” to solve half the problems they encounter. 

How did he find the Leandros brothers overnight when Caliban was incredibly careful to make himself untraceable? Something something text-recognition software in his mailbox, and vague “informants” who pointed him directly to the apartment. Where’d he get the sword that’s too long to actually hide in the suit jacket he’s wearing? A shrug and a “it was hidden up his ass” joke. Where’d he get the credit card and “wad of cash” he uses later, after said suit (and everything else he was wearing) gets destroyed and he’s walking around in a stolen bedsheet toga? Another shrug/ass joke. How does he hide the four of them from Lazarus? A mysterious “client” with a conveniently empty, ultra-protected penthouse never before mentioned, and more minions who not only manage to stock it with clothes and other necessities in the space of roughly an hour, but mange to do so with clothes and medical cocktails perfectly fit to Robin, Cal, Caliban, and Niko. 

There’s “this guy is insanely wealthy and unbelievably well-connected”, which is how Robin has always come across in past books; and there’s “this guy is a walking plot device who barely resembles himself from previous books”, which is Robin in Nevermore. And speaking of walking plot devices: on the flip side of solving half the problems they encounter, Robin “conveniently” creates a completely different problem seemingly just to set up a chapter’s worth of angst. He develops a phobia of Auphe gates so severe that he would rather die than allow Caliban to use one to get them out of a trap by Lazarus. A phobia never before mentioned in any book, despite Cal’s gates being a massive plot point in nearly all previous books (and Robin being yanked through them repeatedly). 

Which is where the third massive problem with the book comes in, a problem whose roots are in the previous book, Downfall. In Downfall, the ninth book of the series, we learn out of the blue that apparently Cal and Niko are the latest version of two guys who have been reincarnating every hundred years or so for the last few millennia. Every time they’re reincarnated, they’re reincarnated together as brothers or best friends; and every time they’re reincarnated, Robin finds them and becomes their friend. 

Up until this point, there’d been no mention of reincarnation in the books at all, nor any hint that Robin knew the Leandros brothers before. Downfall tries to “solve” this by adding some flashbacks of Robin meeting the brothers as children and recognizing them, but this doesn’t change the fact that his reactions when he first meets them in book 1 (or in any of the books beyond that) do not make any sense if he either met them before as children, or recognizes them as the reincarnations of his friends. 

On top of that, Downfall begins and Nevermore continues with the idea that the Leandros brothers’ previous reincarnations were always famous historical figures. They were Achilles and Patroclus, they were Little John and Will Scarlet (to Goodfellow’s Robin Hood, of course). They “rustled Genghis Khan’s harem”. Name a historical figure or event, the Leandros brothers and Robin were there and probably involved up to their eyeballs. 

I don’t want to say that this kind of resurrection plot, on its own, is bad. Done well, it can be quite interesting. The problems with it in this series are due to execution, not the premise itself. The reason the execution falls very, very flat is twofold. 

First, like I said, the Leandros brothers were always important historical figures or involved in the business of them. If reincarnation as a thing was more prominent in the series, if we had a reason for why this is the case other than “because protagonists”, then I might buy it. As it is, it smacks unpleasantly of the “Raven Dark’ness Dementia Way” flavor of self-insert that’s fine for self-indulgence, but a lot harder to tolerate when it comes out of left field in the ninth and tenth books of a New York Times bestselling series. 

It’s the author trying to make her characters awesome by making them have been all the awesome people in history, rather than allowing them to be awesome on their own merits. It’s also the author trying to force a closeness/brotherly bond between her characters that 1) doesn’t need to be forced as it’s already there, and 2) is actually weakened by making it be their ~reincarnation destiny~ rather than something they spent the last eight and a half books earning. 

Second, and closely related, is the fact that there was no foreshadowing whatsoever of the reincarnation thing. If this had been set up since the first book - if Robin’s reactions to the Leandros brothers in book 1 had had even the slightest hint of this, if there had been subtle clues dropped in subsequent books - it would be a lot easier to swallow. As it is, the lack of foreshadowing gives it all the subtlety and effectiveness of an “it was all a dream” ending.

The tendency to just make up something that’s “always been there” isn’t a new one for Thurman; she’s done this repeatedly throughout the Leandros series, and does it for other things in Nevermore as well. The “coming of age” ring Caliban gives to Robin was supposedly given to him by Niko, but it was never mentioned prior to that scene. “For real and for true” is likewise something that Caliban claims was always in his and Niko’s life, but is mentioned for the first time in Nevermore. (There are other examples in previous books but I don’t remember them off the top of my head.) 

The difference is that all those are relatively minor things. As a reader, I’d have loved to see the scene where Niko gives Cal the ring (where’d Niko get it? was he emotional? how did Cal respond?), but I can accept that it happened off-screen. The “for real and for true” line would have had a hell of a lot more emotional impact if it had been used in previous books, but I can buy it being a childhood thing Caliban hadn’t thought of until now. 

But an entire reincarnation plot, complete with handwaved “racial memory” thanks to “Auphe genes” that allows Caliban to remember his previous incarnations? Something that big has to be set up, foreshadowed, from the very beginning. Otherwise you leave your readers distracted by the mechanics of it, the gaping plot holes where characters’ reactions don’t line up. (Don’t get me started on the hilarious lack of hard science in any mention of Cal’s Auphe heritage; that’s a whole ‘nother rant.) 

In my entirely amateur opinion, both Downfall and Nevermore would have been much stronger books with the entire reincarnation plot ripped out. By our ninth book with these characters, we don’t need a convoluted reincarnation plot to either prove that Cal and Niko are awesome, or to convince readers of the powerful bonds of friendship and brotherhood between the two of them, and between them and Robin. It fails to make them seem cooler in any way, for one (this is a separate rant about how to write tricksters, but essentially, if Cal suddenly legitimizes every one of Robin’s outlandish claims about his involvement with historical figures, by remembering his past reincarnations where they did whatever thing it was, it makes Robin’s claims considerably more boring and uninteresting). 

It also makes the bonds between the three of them a lot weaker. They stop earning the bonds on their own merits, and fall back on “hey we fucked our way through Roman whorehouses together in a past life, let’s be besties now”. In Nevermore, Caliban struggles to earn past!Niko’s trust for very good reasons, making for interesting, painful drama and angst as he deals with the fact that the one person who’s trusted him his entire life suddenly doesn’t. But when Robin shows up, he and Caliban swap a couple raunchy memories from a past life and suddenly Robin is willing to die for Caliban (except for the aforementioned Auphe gate phobia, which frankly feels even more forced given how fully Robin trusts Caliban after the reincarnation discussion). I would have much rather seen Caliban have to earn past!Robin’s trust the way he did in the early books in the series, the way he did with past!Niko. 

So, to fix Nevermore: scale back on the puck-ex-machina - it would even be possible without changing the story that much. Cal and Caliban would both bitch about having to wear fancy clothes instead of their preferred snarky t-shirts. The boys would have had to work a bit harder to find a safe place to hole up for the night, and would have been on watch not just to wake Caliban when the nightmares started, but to keep an eye out for Lazarus. (Which, frankly, would have added another layer to Cal’s failing to wake Caliban, if he was legitimately distracted or could simply claim to have been.) Rip out the reincarnation plotline entirely. Let the boys earn each other’s trust and friendship organically, and let them be badass on their own terms rather than by borrowing historical figures’ awesomeness. And get a SPaG editor. 

...all that said, if Everwar ever does come out by whatever miracle of publishing, self- or otherwise, I’m totally buying it. I miss my emo-angst-amoral-jackass and his impossibly-good asskicking older brother. 

(maybe someday I’ll write that crossover too.)

(no Sanity you have too many fics already)

(but what if niko and ignis bemoaning their respective charges--) 

[mini-pretzel]

IM GONNA BE THAT PERSON FOR THE WRITING STYLE ASKS: ALL. OF. THEM. Let’s go! ❤️💞♥️💕💙💝🧡💚💜

omfg Tess i stg klsdjflkja

ilysm sdlkfjlkafj are you taking care of yourself??

alright, let’s get right to it

🥀 - Your hardest/least favourite character to write 

hmmm. i don’t think there’s a hardest or a least favourite character for me, at least with the bts members. though reader sometimes can be hard for me to write. like, for example, the reader in Breathin’ can be quite the bitch sometimes and i’m having a tough time trying to get past this 2nd chapter, i know it will get better after that one, but she’s so polar opposite to me that it’s hard to write some scenes.

💕 - Your easiest/favourite character to write 

oh jeez. definitely Yoongi. Yoongi is so versatile and playful, but can be also full of dark humour and angst that it’s just //grabby hands

tbh i’m still not over This Tall To Ride Yoongi. i’m so glad i made him the way he was.

i also really enjoy Namjoon, too. I loved him as the supporting character in This Tall To Ride and Your New Boss so far has been an enjoyment to write! Oh, and Hoseok in Sweater Weather made me really want a friend like him.

☎ - Favourite object(s) to describe 

i love describing personal spaces of people. because i think it shows a lot of their character through their surroundings. people tell me that i write from an emotional point of view, so i use the outside surroundings to also show the characters’ inner world too. after all, we are drawn to certain things because they remind them of us or help us express who we are within.

🌄 - Favourite setting(s) to describe 

settings, hmmm… i don’t think i have a favourite per say? but i like anywhere scenic where you can close your eyes and imagine you’re there. i don’t think i’ve mastered this aspect of writing that well yet, but it is something i’m striving towards for sure.

✍️ - Name one of your writing quirks 

i have a tendency to start my sentences with the word ‘and’. technically that’s not really correct, but i feel like it adds a certain layer of storytelling as if you’re talking to a friend and it keeps things casual. in some aspects i like to make things more formal and serious, but in some i like to make it simpler and have more of a steady flow of sentences that are akin to thoughts inside a person’s head.

🎤 - What phrase/word do you use way too much? 

oh jeez, haha. definitely use the word ‘feel/felt’ too much. and short exclamations like ‘fuck’ or ‘damn’. i also use a lot of body parts for tactile expressions like hands, head, fingers and heated cheeks.

🔒 - One writing trick you wish you knew years ago 

the flow of information. i actually forget the actual term (or if there is one, i think there is?) but how you present the information to the reader. and in what ways, and what you leave out until the time is right. or maybe even keep some things to yourself even after completing a work of fiction.

you can build tension if you keep some things in the dark and find the right moment to uncover them. it takes a lot of trial and error to get the flow right, but i wish i knew this before because it makes the story sound so much more well-rounded and put together.

and always, less is more. sometimes letting go and simply writing a sentence is better than trying to cram fifty words and make it sound cool or smart. it’s not always about trying to sound smart, it’s about having some to say and provide characters that the reader can connect with. (i’m still struggling with this)

🐢 - Your favourite line 

i have a lot of favourite lines in my works (mostly in dialogues), but the recent favourite is the last line in A While. just the whole two sentences really tug at my heartstrings.

🌊 - Do you use similes, metaphors, or personification more? 

i think metaphors? but also similes, too. now you’re making me want to go back and reread all of my works to see what i use more, hahaha.

🌶 - Your favourite part of your writing style 

i like how simple it is, i guess? i’ve tried before to make my works sound more cool or smart, use bigger words or try to come up with more complex sentences, but i realize that’s not how i tell stories. while i admire a lot of different writers that all have their own unique styles, i think mine doesn’t need to be anything complex.

my style might not be as descriptive or as eloquent as other writers, but it sounds like a friend telling a story to another friend and, i think, that’s enough. as long as someone reads my work and understands me and feels things - that’s more than enough.

🎯 - Do you use exclamation marks outside of dialogue? 

i don’t think so… huh.. maybe i should at some point, haha. why not?

🕹 - Favourite mannerisms for your characters 

i like getting inside their heads and make them wonder about things. idk. also i like showing how much they can be in their heads, even when in social situations.

i also like to show their little habits and preferences that make up their character. how they kiss (do they hold the person’s head or shoulders? go all in or slowly because they’re nervous?) or if they bite their lip. or how they take their coffee and how they sleep in bed.

☯️ - Favourite theme(s) to write 

i like interactions more than anything. and interactions over food. if you’ve read my works, you notice that a lot of my interactions between characters happen over food or drinks. idk, i think it adds another element of showing how a character is through how they eat and what they eat, how what they drink.

💫 - Is there a pattern in your character/location names? 

i don’t think so? hahah i’d like to say that i have enough brain cells to come up with something so intricate, but no. i’m simple, haha. what you see is what you get.

💋 - How do you build up a relationship? (romantic, platonic, or otherwise) 

i love slow burns. though for me they don’t always end up being as slow as i’d hope, i think it’s one of the things i need to improve in.

i think a lot of my building comes from dialogue and the characters not only speaking to each other but also taking in the non-verbal communication that happens between them.

it’s always the small things - them doing things for each other, them worrying over each other, the ridiculous pining, having someone plaguing their mind and making them smile even when they’re not there. and learning what each other preferences and remembering them.

i like to take things slow, and have that natural development of affection - platonic or not. proper relationships take time and effort.

and if they don’t have that gradual development, i show how it can make things either awkward or make the character feel bothered, or empty. because it’s as if something is missing, a step was missed.

i don’t know, it’s 2 am and im typing this with one eye closed.

i hope this made sense…

thanks Tess!! thank you for the ask and for supporting my works. they still need improvement, but i’m glad they make people happy. that’s all i really want with my works - to make the readers feel the same way i feel when i create them.

also i look forward to reading more of your works

[usaghinanami99]

Hello, comrades! Here I am presenting you a short review of Nachtmahr, a Marx/Engels yaoi dōjinshi by the wonderful RONO (@gattungs-wesen). Before starting, though, I feel the need to drop some advices: first of all, I am by no means a professional reviewer and would never claim it; on the contrary, I haven't written a review for non-scholastic purposes since last summer, so my already scarce abilities are probably rust by now. Second, I am nothing more than a fellow Marxist like many who also happens to be a passionate fangirl of the M/E pairing; please keep in mind my young age and subsequently limited study degrees before addressing me as naive or shallow. And last, I tend to use way too many words for pretty much everything, so you're lucky that the work I'm going to write about is very short, otherwise even I don't know much far I could have gone... actually, I do know: I used to write 5 pages-long analysis of single Pokémon episodes before my spare time decreased drastically, so here's that. Without further ado, let's get started!

Before starting reading, one has to consider how the fanbook is presented, and I think its cover illustration makes for a very, very nice presentation: a cover ought to convey what the stuff you're going to read is about, and this one sets the tone perfectly. In particular, it establishes what the book is all about thanks to an efficient representation of the main couple (of course we all know this is a Marxengels fanbook, but I'm thinking of people stumbling upon it in a comiket, as opposed to us who specifically found it looking for M/E material), which, on the other hand, also serves the need to demonstrate how the art inside the book is going to be – I'll touch upon the subject later, but it's obvious just from the cover that it's going to be pretty at the very least. Finally, the illustration also perfectly establishes the mood of the whole story: not many yaoi books open with this type of picture, am I right? I mean, they usually tend to depict two hot boys in a very steamy and sexy fashion, or at least that's how the yaoi I read generally work. This, on the other hand, is going to be epic and tragic, and the characters' expressions and positions convey this feel better than I could ever explain – also because my English vocabulary is quite limited.

This is where I should review the story itself, but I think it's going to be rather short for my standards, because, to put it bluntly, nothing really happens. Okay, this is just an exageration to say that there is no traditional plot advancement, which is not inherently a bad thing, not at all. In fact, even some masterpieces have been written which don't feature any conventional plot (Beckett anyone?), and this case seems certainly akeen. The thing is, stuff doesn't happen because it's all in Engel's head, which is a clever way to enter his thoughts and twist the reader's expectations at the same time. What I mean is that, at least for me, at the first read it is not clear whether something is real or not, if it's Engels dreaming or an actual memory of his; granted, everything is crystal clear by the end and upon subsequent re-readings, I definitely don't mean to say that the storytelling is confusing – it just likes toying with what us readers would expect, and that's always nice if done in such a clever way. This is where the dōjinshi's title comes to play: "is what I'm reading a nightmare or not?", I was constantly asking myself during my first reading. In the end it turns out that the answer is "yes", but one is still left to question themselves about just how much Engel's nightmares were real or not; and, while the answer to this second question leans more towards the "no", it's left ambiguous enough that a reader is still provided with a window of hope, if they want. Engel's nightmares, which are virtually the major subject of the story, transition from the near past of Marx's death to the distant past of a tender love scene between the two philosophers, which isn't probably anything more than a mere fantasy of Engels', but, honestly speaking, it feels so real when it starts that it's shocking to see this idyllic scene brutally shatter. I'm sorry for those (including myself, alas) who expected a scene of tender love-making between the two columns of Communism, because the carefree sweetness comes to an end when Engels is bound to notice the wedding ring on his beloved's finger; now, I have to admit my personal headcanon is that Jenny was fully aware and supporting of the relationship between the two, and would also often take part in nice orgies along with both families, but it's not like we own their diaries or anything, so any guess is as good as mine. But RONO's guess in particular is very depressing, which I genuinely didn't expect given how much fun most of his fanart tends to be, but gosh, does it work? Very well indeed, there's enough angst to make you shed many tears, what with poor Fred's unrequited love (which is already the saddest thing ever, btw) and his self-guilt given by cheating? Speaking for myself, I headcanon the whole Marx-Engels big family as polyamorous, add to it the fact that free, unbound love is certainly an important part of their ideals, as we all know from the Manifesto itself – but I do not want to dismiss this more tragic view of their relations, which is indeed as valid as mine. After this heartbreaking nightmare, we cut to reality, with a devastated Engels being aided by none other than Kautsky, whom I didn't expect to find here at all! I'll keep my opinions on the man for myself, unless someone is dying to know what I think of every Marxist philosopher I've ever read, but I'll just say that my thoughts on this particularly controversial figure don't bear any importance on the overall enjoyment of the work. A work that ends in the most heartbreaking way ever possible (as if the end of the dream weren't already enough!), with Engels surrendering to despair in front of Karl and Jenny's tombstone. If you meant to call deep depression upon your readers, than you've done the best of works, RONO! I'm obviously exaggerating again for the sake of comedy, because I really love how emtional and tragic this story came out to be. I related with it on a personal level and felt genuinely hurt for how much my precious OTP had to endure, but this is no news for me, and I highly appreciate the work that I've had the honour to read.

I'm afraid I've got even less to say about the art, because I am so far from being an expert; if my opinion is of any importance, then, I'll just say that I found it perfect and worth of an official work, which I think is the best compliment one could make to a fanbook. Come on, someone go and hire the man, otherwise so much talent will go waste! Luckily enough, nowadays more and more manga artists become professionals after having started as amateurs, and in this case I definitely see all the talent and passion needed for the big jump. Official or not, this work is awesome and its status won't change it! ...Well, I did say I can't properly judge art! Want to know something else, then? RONO is the one and only artist who can make bearded men attractive for me. That's a thing. Oh, and also don't forget the closing illustration, which depicts young M/E happily dancing to what I think is a waltz (?). This particular picture was yet another reason of crying for me, because my best favourite film in the world happens to be Beauty and the Beast, so I think you can imagine just how much important romantic balls are for me. Well, I don't know whether this was intentional or not, but after all, it's a nerd's job to find references regardless of whether there are actually any or not! Unfortunately, Karl and Friedrich's story ends in a much more bitter tone than Belle and Adam's, but this unexpected bonus really did the trick for me – I am very emotive, to the point that I cry every single time I rewatch B&B, so of course I did the same thing many times upon reading and rereading this dōjinshi.

Finally, every good reviewer should find at least some flaws in the most perfect work, but I've never claimed to be a good reviewer. Do you really want something negative about this fanbook? Okay, then, I guess you won't be particularly invested in it if you don't ship M/E... but if you don't, just go and read all that Engels wrote after Marx's death (and be ready to burst out in tears)! And of course follow and support the artist if you don’t already, because he deserves all the love in the world from us commies!

[darpok]

Blog Post: On Fan Fiction and Other Storytelling Traditions

When I was twelve or thirteen years old, and even our family finally had DSL internet, I discovered the joys of fan fiction. In case you haven’t been living under the same rock as I have, allow me to explain. “Fan fiction” refers to stories written by enthusiasts of a particular book, TV show, or other creative work. While most “fics” – as my friends and I would call them – take place within the particular universe of the original story, others take known characters and put them in an entirely new setting. (That’s how 50 Shades of Grey was born.) There’s also fan fiction that doesn’t deliberately draw on any work but revolves around real, famous people in imagined situations. (See Graham Norton and Daniel Radcliffe discuss this type on the former’s show.)

The stories that interested me ranged from shorter “one shots” to multi-chapter epics, but most were placed in the Harry Potter universe and nearly all were tales of romance – if you could call it that.

The pairings I read about (and often ‘shipped’ – a verb that comes from the ‘ship’ in ‘relationship’ and means “hoped would bang”) – whether true to canon (i.e. the original books), such as Lily and James Potter, or wildly inventive, such as Hermione and a Tom Riddle to whom she has traveled back in time – usually engaged in the kind of love/hate banter that sends real couples to therapy. The pair would glare at and insult each other (often employing strangely American turns of phrase for a pair of ostensible Brits), their apparent mutual disgust hiding a deeper attraction. For my friends and I, it was riveting stuff.

While I was mainly a Lily/James shipper myself, you can’t talk about Harry Potter fan fiction and not mention Dramione. The fan-invented romance between Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger was a tale of forbidden passion, a defiance of Hogwarts housing norms and the mandates of Potter canon itself. Draco did need to be less of a whiny loser to be a deserving match for Hermione, but this could be arranged without too much trouble. In the fan fiction world, Draco was dark and brooding, and he didn’t bring his dad up in conversation quite as often as in the books. Hermione was clever and empathetic, and although she was rarely depicted with less than Yule Ball-level beauty, her looks were not her main characteristic.

Sometimes fan fiction Draco and Hermione fell for each other while at Hogwarts. In other fics, they met again under changed circumstances years after the fall of Voldemort. Then there were the AU fics in which a brilliant young paralegal named Hermione Granger begins work at the firm where successful lawyer Draco Malfoy practices. You get the idea.

Photoshop creations starring Tom Felton and Emma Watson (no credit belongs to me). The purple one in particular has stayed in my memory for years, and brings on a familiar feeling of excitement at all the great content to peruse in the world. It was the banner for a website that allowed fans to nominate and vote for their favorite Dramione fics.

A particularly sexy iteration of the Draco/Hermione story was called Water by kissherdraco. In it, Draco and Hermione are Head Boy and Girl at Hogwarts. Of course, this means that they must live sequestered in their own dormitory, with its own entrance, common room and adjoining bathroom that ensure they see each other in a state of partial undress when the story demands it.

Water was held by many to be the pinnacle of the genre. It had lust and angst in equal measure, executed with a liberal dose of swear words and aggression. Moreover, Water took the common flaws of the Dramione world’s characters and actually explored them, allowing character to drive plot. In the story, Draco is brooding and cruel as ever, but these traits are linked to vicious abuse at the hands of Lucius. This backstory is not seen as an excuse for Draco’s behavior and he is forced to grow and change as the story progresses (although not quite enough, tbh).

I never finished the story, perhaps because my young brain was alarmed by all the hate-sex, but I revisited it with curiosity for this piece. Here is a relatively benign excerpt from the text, although please skip if you’d rather avoid themes of physical dominance:

“You’re crying,” growled Draco, leaning in and flicking his tongue onto her cheek. He tasted salt.

She struggled then, and he brought his hands to her shoulders to hold her still. “Don’t, Granger,” he warned. “I fucking need this. I can’t fucking…” He trailed off.

He never would have noticed before. Not like he did now, at least. Her lips were wet. They were red and moist and magnificently ripened for him. So full of blood. Hot, heated, sullied blood. He couldn’t take his eyes off them.

Other fics situated romance within a larger plot about the politics of the wizarding world. Prelude to Destiny by AnotherDreamer took place in the Marauder era (i.e. the time of Harry’s parents) and focused on the coming-of-age of Lily Evans and her role in the battle against evil. It begins, “Two cultures and a thousand miles from you, there is a castle on a hill…”

Another fave began life under the title Ancient and Most Noble and is now called Druella Black’s Guide to Womanhood. It is about the diverging lives of the three Black sisters — Bellatrix, Andromeda, and Narcissa — in the early years of Voldemort’s power. The sisters confront the crumbling of the their easy closeness as they make different choices in a changing world.

”It’ll be a laugh, you’ll see,” Bellatrix whispered into her ear, her breath sweet and thick from wine. They were curled in the cool grass, tangled in the layers upon layers of lace and satin that were their dress robes; it had taken them an hour to get them on right and just ten minutes to unsettle them. Andromeda’s head was spinning: from the liquor, from the heat, from far too much dancing. “It’ll all be just like this,” Bella was murmuring, her lips brushing against her ear. Stars whirled by overhead, maybe close enough to touch. Close enough to try.

“Always just like this.”

—

Andromeda swore as she stepped off the train. From inside the nicely cool travel car, summer had looked so charming, green and bright and gloriously school-free…

I was most interested in these fics, the ones that revolved around the generations before Harry’s. There was something compelling about the knowledge of forthcoming tragedy for many of the characters…Plucked away from the happy ending of the books, these fics became an exploration of why life is meaningful even in its flawed and finite scope.

I look back on my fan fiction experiences as belonging to a beautiful time when the internet was less like Janet from The Good Place* (if Janet were selling everything she knew about us to profit-hungry corporations and belligerent, militarized governments), and more like a library you went to when you felt like checking out a book. Nobody knew what I ate and where I went every minute of the day, because I didn’t put that stuff online, nor did I (to my knowledge) carry a tracking device with me when I went downstairs to play with my friends. At 5 pm, our moms would have to call each friend’s landline to reach us and remind us to stop home for our daily glass of milk or what-have-you.

*Janet is a humanoid presence in the afterlife who holds all knowledge in the universe and can create objects out of the void.

Fan fiction was a commerce-free creative space – devoid of ad revenue and the quick accumulation of likes. Since there was neither money nor social capital to be gained, everyone who participated did so out of pure interest. One did have the hope of raking in reviews from other community members, but these were about more than validation; reviews allowed people to have conversations about a shared passion and often included constructive criticism along with praise. There was little need for bitterness – if a fic was well-written, everybody won, since it meant they got to read it.

Below are some examples from the reviews section of Prelude to Destiny. It’s certainly no Twitter.

Written by rach on chapter #13. (March 28th 2009, 5am) Hey,

So I’ve read your whole story before, and now I’m reading it again, because I saw it spotlighted on the site. And this chapter is amazing. I love the end…I’ve never (well, before I read this the first time) compared Lily to Mrs Crouch. But it’s so true. They both gave their lives for their sons and…this chapter is phenomenal. Just thought I’d let you know

Rach

Written by Smith on chapter #26. (April 29th 2008, 11am)

…If I am to find any fault in the story, then I should say that Remus was rather dull. Not that it was completely out of character, but I imagine him being funnier and also good Lily’s friend. Their friendship is mentioned by Lupin in the third film and, I should think, in the book as well, though I don’t have a copy right now and thus can’t provide a quote. Pity, that. [Given my extensive knowledge of canon, I can tell you that the reviewer is mistaken on this last point.]

Thank you very much for writing this story. Reading it was an enjoyable experience that I might repeat in the future. You’re brilliant, to put it short.

Author Response: Thanks for the review!Yeah, Remus was a bit dull. Actually, I didn’t intend for Lily to be friends with any of the marauders besides James. I just wanted them out of the way. But I know what you mean. After Sirius entered the story, Remus was even duller in comparison. Plus, I wanted to make Peter seem like he fit in, and Remus just fell by the wayside, you know?I’m enjoying writing Gertrude again after taking over a story from my friend who used my characters. Anyway, thanks again!Miranda

For me, too, fandom was a more than a casual hobby. Since I was only allowed an hour of internet use a day, I would spend the time copying and pasting chapter after chapter of fan fiction onto Microsoft Word, allowing me to read all I wanted later. (As you might imagine, Water was not stored on the family computer.) I remember scouring for new fics on fanfiction.net and clicking through page after page of fan art on deviantart.com (both of which retain their early-2000s layouts, unlike Mugglenet or JK Rowling’s official site), very differently from how I scroll through Instagram today. I admired works of fandom the way one appreciates springtime’s first flower, or the décor of a friend’s bedroom – I admired the stamp of individuality they bore and that inspired me to create something myself, to express my joys and sorrows, to be a part of the world.

RIP old websites

When I did put Harry Potter-inspired art out there, somewhere around age fourteen, it was of course in the form of fan fiction, writing being my weapon of choice. I wrote two one-shot pieces, one funny and the other sad — or such were my intentions, though perhaps the results were inverted. While some friends wrote longer stories, I never felt talented or inspired enough to commit, which is a typical self-doubting move of the kind I am trying to leave behind. (I now plan to write no matter how untalented and uninspired I may be.)

One piece was about a character of my own invention, a Slytherin guy with the requisite pure-blood, Dark magic-loving family, and a perky, ponytailed Huffelpuff girl on whom he develops an obsessive crush. It was intended to be a BBC-inspired mockery of the character, taking all the gloomy sexiness of the Dramione universe and making it ridiculous. It was also a thorough exploration of really wanting to make out with somebody sitting in the same classroom as you, not that I’d know anything about that myself.

The other short story was a sincere ode to the books and an exploration of some of their core questions on death and loss. It followed Harry in an imagined scene that takes place (SPOILER ALERT lol) after Dumbledore’s death in the Half-Blood Prince. Harry is climbing the steps to the Owlery with a package in his hand, thinking over his relationship with Dumbledore. As I wrote, I found that I absolutely had to include excerpts from a fairly unexpected source, a chapter in the first and most overlooked of the Harry Potter books. The chapter is “The Mirror of Erised,” whose titular object reveals to the onlooker their deepest desire.

“Professor Dumbledore. Can I ask you something?”

“Obviously, you’ve just done so,” Dumbledore smiled. “You may ask me one more thing, however.”

“What do you see when you look in the mirror?”

“I? I see myself holding a pair of thick, woolen socks.” Harry stared. “One can never have enough socks,” said Dumbledore. “Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn’t get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books.”

It was only when he was back in bed that it struck Harry that Dumbledore might not have been quite truthful.

In my story, Harry gazes out at the Forbidden Forest for a little while, wondering who Dumbledore had been behind the mask of calm wisdom and pondering the burden of those left alive and grieving. Harry then ties the package he’s been holding to Hedwig’s arm and sends her off, chuckling a little through tears. In the last line it is revealed that – OMG – he has just sent off a pair of thick, woolen SOCKS. To DUMBLEDORE. Even though Dumbledore is DEAD. Isn’t that profound?

Two years later, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows was released, and to my complete surprise, it delved deep into some of the questions about Dumbledore that had tumbled out of me, stream-of-consciousness-like, in the story I wrote. The text even includes part of the above excerpt from “The Mirror of Erised”. At the outset of Deathly Hallows, Harry learns that Dumbledore’s childhood was a difficult one, the true details of which remain murky and contested by his admirers and critics. Harry regrets never having asked Dumbledore about his past, but recalls that, after all, the one personal question he had asked Dumbledore was not answered honestly…

While writing my story, I had imagined Harry’s pain and longing to know Dumbledore better. Because fan fiction allowed me to externalize my interpretation of the text, the questions in my mind took on concrete form. Their answers, when the next book presented them, became all the more striking and emotionally impactful. It was as though I had written a letter to the series of books that had shaped me and received, in a way, a gentle but meaningful response.

In 2004, JK Rowling released a statement about the phenomenon of fan fiction. She was flattered by fans’ desire to write about her characters, and her only caveats were that fan fiction should remain suitable for children (unfortunately that ship had already sailed, and Water was truly the least of it), as well as a non-commercial activity so that fans’ creative pursuits would remain unexploited. Other authors have not been as accepting, and have asked for fan fiction based on their work to be removed from popular websites. After all, in our current world, a story is classified as property. A sentence, a verse, a character’s name, can belong to someone the same way as the furniture in their house and the dollar figure in their bank account.

In the long history of storytelling, however, ownership is a relatively recent idea. Bear with me while I make an analogy – in pre-industrial Britain, every town had a commons, an area of land where anyone could gather firewood, take their cattle to graze, or hunt and fish to supplement a year of poor harvest. Storytelling has historically functioned as a kind of commons of ideas, one that anyone could pull from when the time came to tell a tale. Want to warn your kid against going near a well? Tell them about the hungry demon that lives in it. Were you hired to entertain a crowd at a wedding? Maybe you dust off an old poem about a prince and princess who meet one evening in the forest but spend years apart, not knowing each others’ true identity until it turns out they were betrothed all along.

Nobody invented well-dwelling monsters or estranged lovers for the first time – they simply existed in a shared cultural space, available when needed (or when it was particularly enjoyable to use them), ready to be shaped into something new and old at the same time. Even today, no one questions the use of familiar tropes in books and movies; we know that all storytelling involves a certain amount of borrowing and repetition, and we deem this acceptable as long as the storyteller has put an adequately original spin on the themes they utilize. The legal line is drawn once you get to the particulars – character names, or sentences and dialogue. These must be brand spanking new if you want to avoid a lawsuit and getting dropped by your publishers. (Does anyone else remember How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild, and Got a Life?)

But for thousands of years, people told and re-told stories of beloved and familiar characters, not just unnamed archetypes – characters like Odysseus and Arjuna, Gilgamesh and King Arthur. The Sanskrit Mahabharata (Maha-BHA-rata) an epicly long, genre-defying story from South Asia, especially challenges the idea of a single, canonical text (much like other ancient story traditions from the subcontinent). It was told so many times by so many people that modern-day folks are not always able to agree on what the Mahabharata even is. The story is like a vast ocean — recognizable to all, but appears different depending on where you happen to be standing.

In the 20th century, some scholars collected Mahabharata manuscripts from all over the subcontinent, extracted the most commonly occurring parts to form a text, and detailed the many variations of each verse in footnotes that turned out longer than the text itself. No one can quite agree whether to treat this resulting (multi-volume) “Critical Edition” as the essential Sanskrit Mahabharata tradition, or as some kind of strange, post-colonial Mahabharata scrapbook. All this so that whenever somebody wrote an essay about the story, there was a single text, pieced together as it was, to use as a point of reference. (My Bachelor’s thesis was one of the lesser works of this scholarly genre.)

The plot of the Mahabharata goes like this: The five Pandava brothers, namely the prone-to-gambling leader Yudhishthira, morally-conflicted archer Arjuna, lovable beefcake Bhima, and something-to-do-with-horses twins Nakula and Sachdeva, along with their badass wife Draupadi, are exiled from their kingdom and forced into a year of disguise after a rigged dice game that Yudhishthira loses, and in which Draupadi is stripped and humiliated before a hall full of men. Eventually the Pandavas regain what they lost through a bloody war that leaves both sides devastated and questioning the point of all this conflict. The End.

Does my summary reflect my biases a little bit? For somebody else, the Pandavas might be perfect heroes, Draupadi a whiny ungrateful shrew who won’t stop yelling at them. To me, she is the moral backbone of the Pandavas, unafraid to call for what she feels is right even as everyone around her takes the coward’s way out of trouble.

Interpretations of Draupadi from various traditions

But it’s not just me who has a take on the story: the Mahabharata itself reflects a range of interacting and conflicting views, which might indicate that people from various backgrounds heard it and were able, in some way, to influence it. For example, although the text generally upholds hierarchies of caste and gender, it also pulls at the listener’s heartstrings with stories of characters who must confront these oppressive norms.

There’s Amba, who is stolen from her future-husband at her wedding and rejected by him when she manages to return; she later chooses to be re-born as a man in order to kill her kidnapper in battle. There’s Ekalavya, the talented archer from a forest tribe who trains with the Pandavas in youth and asks to prove his devotion to his archery guru any way he can; the guru, who favors the upper-caste prince Arjuna, asks Ekalavya to cut off his right thumb. There’s Kunti, who finds herself pregnant after an illicit affair with a god and places her baby, Karna, in a river; Karna is adopted by a lower-caste charioteer couple and goes on to fight against Kunti’s legitimate sons in the great battle that destroys the universe. And there’s Satyavati, whose husband/baby daddy pretends not to recognize her in front of his kingly court but gets completely schooled on how not to be an asshole.

“You know very well [who I am], your majesty; why do you say that you don’t, lying like a common man? Your heart knows the truth, and knows your lie. A man who does something wrong thinks, ‘No one knows me,’ but the gods know. If you do not do what I ask, your head will burst into a hundred pieces.” She discoursed at length on the reasons why a man should honor his wife, quoting the dharma texts.

(from The Ring of Truth: And Other Myths of Sex and Jewelry by Wendy Doniger)

Perhaps, among the traveling bards and indulgent grandmas who told the Mahabharata over centuries, there were some who identified or empathized with the pain of oppression and through whom otherwise-marginalized voices could ring out into the millennia.

The many Mahabharatas, along with the many conversations inside the Mahabharata, illustrate how the human imagination is prolific and messy, not content with merely absorbing information but impelled to remake, to take inspiration, to create, create, create. Isn’t that what happens when we read? We see the world we are reading about in our own way. We make up something in our own head as we go along, and that’s where the entertainment lies. The book itself is but a wonderful tool.

Perhaps if I had a right-wing patron who paid me to tell stories, I would tell the Mahabharata a little differently from how I do here, focusing on how the Pandavas were self-made men or how the ethnic minorities they killed were thieving encroachers. Or if I were telling the story to children, I might leave out anything particularly frightening. In the telling of a story, the will and whims of the teller have influence, as do those of the listener (or reader) and the financial benefactor (or publishing house).

What remains inevitable, however, is that rarely is a story told the same way twice. Even in our post-printing press, post-internet world, where stories are replicated identically again and again, we continue to dissect, analyze, and change them, whether it be through everyday conversations, online forums, or the prestige lens of a critic’s review. (A perfect example is the adaptation of works from one medium into another, be it from literature to film or from film to theater.) Sometimes the authors themselves continue to tweak and interpret their work – Virginia Wolf was known to make changes to her books prior to reprinting, and we all know that JK Rowling can’t leave the Potter universe well enough alone (love you Jo!).

For me, fan fiction is a grand storytelling and textual tradition not entirely unlike the Mahabharata. Fan fiction not only illustrates the malleable, generative nature of stories, it also provides a rare space, in our capitalist global economy, for storytelling to be that malleable, generative thing it has always been. It allows for democratic engagement in the storytelling traditions of our time, free from the boxes of profit and ownership. It lets us expand the possibilities of our collective imagination. Importantly, it allows voices from the margins into the story, where our canonical texts routinely fail us.

I’m also thankful to fan fiction for being a rare space, outside overpriced college English classes, where literary discussion can thrive. When I say discussion, I don’t mean mere binary criticism – like book reviews, or the Goodreads star rating-aggregates that help determine book sales. I mean questions about how a text makes you feel, what it reflects or critiques about our world, the things that literary characters, beloved and abhorred, may teach us about our shared humanity and flawed choices. And yes, some of these conversations involve Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy as co-Heads of Hogwarts, using the same bathroom.

Are you a reader or writer of fan fiction? Have you you dabbled in fan art? Or do you engage in a non-online form of fandom, like a book club? Please share!

Thanks for reading.

[playthehits-blog]

Andrew Bird - Ace Theatre - 5.14.16

In the name of procrastination, it is yet again time for another posting in my impeding “Yesteryear” series of concert reviews. This edition will feature the magnificent “Dr. Stringz”, or Andrew Bird as he is most commonly known. That is also the name that his mother knows him by, simply because that is the name that she gave him at birth, so of course she would know him by that name. Anywho, Andrew Bird is a long-standing, multi-instrumental artist who has a very rich history that spans a time longer than many of his fans lives. This was the second installment of his that I have been fortunate enough to attend, and much like the first time, this may have been the most diverse crowd for a show that I have been present at. It featured everyone from hi-brow/fine-art/wine-and-dine elders to angst-infused teenage indie-folk newcomers, and everyone in between (including myself, who probably lies somewhere in the middle of both categories, with unfortunate similarities to both…). Thankfully, that’s one of my favorite things about Andrew Bird and his music; it’s entirely enjoyable to those of all groups and ages, while not being driven by popular modes of music. This is highly due to Bird being one of the most prolific violinists in non-classical music today. Being trained under the Suzuki philosophy since his childhood, Bird’s instrumentation often mimics his vocal inflection and melody. Pairing this with an abundant use of pizzicato, a technique used typically by stand-up bassist and cellists, Bird’s offering is unlike most in all of folk-rock. As you can imagine, Bird has long studied, showcased, and explored his violin talents for the better part of the last four decades, and his luxuriant display of talents do not stop there. Bird himself is also very well known for his embellished whistling, along with the ability to play nearly all lute instruments. His authority of all things strings coined him the aforementioned title of “Dr. Stringz”; a character he portrayed in a children's TV show (so cute). Take a peek through his thorough recording history, and you’ll find no room for doubt to strip him of this deserving (albeit childish) accolade. More so than this, what makes his offerings so much more engaging is his impeccable (and educational) ability to sing about the most peculiar subjects. Likely the smartest person in the room on any given day, Bird’s vast intellect of all things astronomy, biology, geology, neurology, and all other gy’s makes his clever lines and floating rhymes magnificently impressive. I consider myself a huge fan of his, yet often times I haven’t the slightest idea of what he is talking about. It’s equally as enlightening as it is frustrating, mainly due to my inability to understand his references. Either way, it makes the time spent with his music all the more an engaging experience, one that you won’t soon regret.

Moving on to the contents of the night (and to the context of which I mean to babble on about and waste your precious time on), this particular concert was to promote his most recent album (at the time of the concert, clearly not at the time of this outdated, shorthanded excuse for literature) “Are You Serious”. In the days leading up to this concert, there was much room in my existence for garnered excitement, as the previous time that I saw Bird was one of the most enjoyable nights for myself. This time differed as I had previously seen him in a smaller theater, whereas in this installment, Bird would showcase his talents at the Ace Theatre, which is a much larger setting with assigned seating. I’m sure many can agree that a setting such as this suits Bird best, as the acoustics of the hall allowed his previously mentioned talents to carry throughout the theater seemingly effortlessly. This beautiful display began with a brief excerpt from Alice Coltrane’s “Journey In Satchidananda” from a light-less stage. Going on for a few moments, the band broke into “Capsized”, the opening song from AYS [...”Are You Serious”. I like the use of acronyms that only I know the reference to. Makes things more fun for me, and more frustrating for you (??), which is subsequently more fun for me…unless of course no one reads this, which nobody does, nor should, so joke’s on me I guess]. As this song kicked in, so did the stage lights, and the night was in motion...literally… Some random woman who was vibin’ more than a noodle in boiling water (with movements similar to the likeness of such a noodle) brought it upon herself to interpretive dance in front of the stage. Throughout. The entire. Show….. I guess she had every right to do so as this song is pretty groovy, and I too was (potentially) feeling such vibe, but figured she was enough for all of those who were in attendance to experience. I could also benefit from saving myself the embarrassment of showcasing my equally freakish movements. In any case, Bird came ready to PTH (......play…..the…..HITS!!!…..no? k fine), and play those hits he sure did. He immediately moved to the decade old song “A Nervous Tic Motion of the Head to the Left” from 2005’s “The Mysterious Production of Eggs”, which features previously mentioned whistling (which is very much the case with many of his songs, yet widely iconic in this song).

From this, Bird stayed on the topic of visiting past songs such a “Tenuousness” (a song which lyrics are beyond all comprehension. I wasn’t lying when I said this dude was intelligent) and “Lusitania”. Following this, he then returned to the title track of AYS in (what other than) “Are You Serious”. While this song is on the softer side, it represents much of what makes his music so unmistakably himself. It includes all of his preceding musical characteristics; embroidered and flowery diction (which he knowingly instructs the listener to “get out your dictionaries”, in a very modest way, as pretentious as this does sound), plucked and strummed violin, and innocently clever storytelling. One of my favorite things about Bird is that while much of his lyrics are conversational, he often transposes them in the form of an actual conversation when performing live. I’ve seen quite a few artists follow this type of execution in their performances, yet none make it seem as nonchalant and natural as Bird does. He has a way of presenting it so purely that you feel as if he is conversing directly to you. It’s a truly wonderful addition to his already witty, virtuoso performance. Speaking of virtuosity, the band then played “Truth Lies Low”, which just might be my favorite off the new album (which is his best since 2007’s “Armchair Apocrypha”, in my very insignificant opinion). The longest and most intricate song (again, my opinion with all insignificance included) from AYS, “Truth Lies Low” acts as home to the most improvisation on the album and in this performance. When I think of Andrew Bird, I think of songs such as this. They’re so unapologetically him, and I mean that in a way that as all bands create their own sounds and personalities that make them “themselves”, Bird showcases his fearlessness to embrace himself in this song. Featuring two sections of improvised solos (including those by his band members as well) Birds immaculate abilities were put on display unlike I had previously experienced. Echoing into every nook and cranny of the theater, Bird’s luscious swells and sweeps swayed the crowd into delight. As I have made very clear through my oversupply of worthless words on this blog, I am a sucker for improvisation, and this display sure was one of the many highlights of the night for me (and others as well, I assume).

Following this, the lovely Fiona Apple made a guest appearance (as she does on the album) for the performance of “Left Hand Kisses”. Switching between violin and guitar, Bird’s (Dr. Stringz) inviting melodies paired with Apple’s vibrato showcased chemistry between the two as good as any duo in music. It was pure folk bliss. Bird followed this with again revisiting favorites such as “Plasticities”. Coming from “Armchair Apocrypha”, an album literally filled with hits, I felt both delight and dismay, as I knew that this would likely be the only feature of the album for the night. Nevertheless, I swooped in this offering with all nostalgia attached. Maybe his strongest (and most famous) demonstration of his pizzicato abilities, Bird pushed the tempo on this track, boasting (and rightfully so) his talents.

Shifting to his “Hands of Glory” acoustic project of past which features violin, stand-up bass, and (in this instance) mandolin, the band performed “Pulaski at Night”. Utilizing only one (50’s style) microphone, the trio sounded as gritty and stripped back as ever (that’s supposed to be a good thing...I’ve never been good at compliments). It would seem at this point that the night was starting to wane, and I could feel discontent of the nights imminent end beginning to build. This was quickly put to rest as, to my endless appreciation, Bird played my favorite offering of his. Discussing the potential set-list with my friend and colleague who I was fortunate to attend this concert with, I briefly mentioned that regardless the set-list, this show was destined to deliver. However if I could have one song featured, it would make the night more than glorious for myself. And to my endless appreciation (repetitive), Bird finished his initial set with “Armchairs”, fooling my previous hunch of him only visiting “Armchair Apocrypha” once. There are times where I find myself waiting, hoping, without any expectation, for moments like these. They are imaginary occasions in which my existence cannot fathom the effect it would have on me if it were to come to fruition. Yet, in those seven minuscule minutes, a lifetime of waiting for such a moment would be worthwhile (*yarf*). By far my favorite offering of his, and potentially one of my favorite songs in history, Bird’s display of this song elevated my spirits to heights that were previously seemingly unobtainable (*YARF*). As charismatic as ever, Bird played to the crowd with emotion that was completely and entirely himself.

Thoroughly elated from the act that was exhibited to us, Bird granted us further delight through the means of an encore that included more Fiona and covers of Bob Dylan and Neil Young. Bird then ended with the somewhat somber but otherwise lighthearted “The New Saint Jude”. A song likely referencing his wife’s diagnosis, battle, and eventual defeat of cancer, Bird brings light to the virtues of looking on the bright side of things. As this was the unfortunate end of such a splendid night, it left me to see things through a positive light as well: While all good things must come to an end (why), at least I got see one of my favorite musicians play one of my favorite songs. Unfortunately for you, you have just wasted 5-10 minutes of your precious, escaping lifetime reading this pointless review. But hey, look on the bright side; at least it’s finally (and thankfully) over....for now.

Setlist:

1. Journey to Satchidananda

2. Capsized

3. A Nervous Tic Motion of the Head to the Left

4. Tenuousness

5. Lusitania

6. Are You Serious

7. Truth Lies Low

8. Puma

9. Left Hand Kisses (ft. Fiona Apple)

10. Roma Fade

11. Three White Horses

12. Plasticities

13. Valleys of the Young

14. Pulaski at Night

15. Bellevue

16. Armchairs

Encore:

1. Harvest (Neil Young cover)

2. Oh, Sister (Bob Dylan cover) (ft. Fiona Apple)

3. Give It Away

4. The New Saint Jude