#this is also me going crazy going stupid over my own commander

[prim-moth]

Reading fictional stories are so beautiful.nature is healing (is reading exile the game)

[eliaah]

confessions !

characters: yami sukehiro, fuegoleon vermillion, nozel silva, & jack.

tags: fluff , multi characters × fem reader!

a/n: making this while you guys wait for the part 2 of the fuegoleon fic. i haven't wrote it yet since my mood doesn't fit the scene and yes, i'm crazy for that. i'm also not very skilled in writing fluffs so it's either you'll find this cringe or whatever you think.

🍁 YAMI SUKEHIRO

The battlefield was chaos. Screams and the clash of steel filled the air, and the stench of blood was thick around you. But you barely noticed any of it, your focus solely on the enemy before you. A massive, hulking beast of a man wielding a blade twice the size of your own was charging toward you, and you knew this would be a fight to the death.

You squared your shoulders, bracing for the impact, when suddenly the air around you shifted. A familiar pressure washed over you, and you knew exactly who it was without even turning around.

"Oi, dumbass!" Yami, the Captain's gruff voice cut through the chaos like a blade. "What do you think you’re doing, going up against that guy alone?"

You barely had time to react before the beast swung its sword with brutal force. Just as you prepared to block, Captain was there, his katana intercepting the blow with a force that sent a shockwave through the ground.

"Captain—" you started, but his sharp glare cut you off.

"Stay back!" he barked, his tone leaving no room for argument. "I’ve got this."

But you couldn’t just stand by and do nothing. The Captain is strong, stronger than anyone you knew, but even he had limits. You called on your magic, determined to help, but before you could act, Yami was beside you, grabbing your wrist with a grip that was firm, almost bruising.

"I said, stay back!" he growled, his eyes blazing with an intensity that made your heart skip a beat. "You’re gonna get yourself killed if you keep charging in like an idiot!"

His words stung, but what caught you off guard was the raw emotion in his voice. Yami was always brash, always confident, but right now, he sounded almost… desperate. His grip on your wrist tightened, and for the first time, you saw something close to fear in his eyes.

"I’m not losing you." he muttered under his breath, almost like he was saying it to himself rather than to you.

Your breath hitched, your mind struggling to process his words. Was that… concern? The Captain is worried about you? No, it's more than that. There was something in the way he was holding onto you, something in the roughness of his voice, that made your heart pound in your chest.

"Captain…" you whispered, barely able to find your voice.

He didn’t look at you, his gaze still locked on the enemy, but there was a brief flicker of something in his eyes—a softness you rarely saw. "You mean so much more to me than you think, Y/n." he said, his voice low and gruff. "So don’t go doin’ something stupid, got it?"

For a moment, you just stood there, the weight of his words sinking in. Was that… a confession? Did Yami just admit that he cared about you—really cared about you? Your heart started to race, the battlefield around you fading as your thoughts spiraled.

Before you could fully process it, Yami let go of your wrist and turned back to the battle, his katana already sparking with dark energy. "Stay put, and let me handle this!" he ordered, his voice rough and commanding as he charged back at the monster, a whirlwind of raw power and stubborn determination.

You were left standing there, your wrist still tingling where he’d grabbed you, your mind reeling from what just happened. Yami’s words echoed in your head, each beat of your heart pounding louder in your ears.

Did the Captain just confess?

The realization hit you like a lightning bolt, sending a rush of warmth and adrenaline through your body. Your heart was racing now, not from the danger of the battle, but from the knowledge that Captain—brash, stubborn, and infuriatingly reckless Captain—cared about you in a way you hadn’t dared to hope.

And as you watched him fight, every swing of his katana full of raw power and determination, you couldn’t help but feel the same. Yami meant more to you than you’d realized, and now, standing on the battlefield with the world falling apart around you, it felt like everything had just changed in an instant.

🍁 FUEGOLEON VERMILLION

The sun was setting over the Vermillion estate, bathing the garden in a warm, golden hue. Fuegoleon had invited you, his childhood friend and longtime maid, for a rare moment of relaxation away from the usual hustle of the castle.

As you walked alongside Fuegoleon through the garden’s winding paths, the fragrance of blooming flowers filled the air. He led you to a small table where tea and pastries were laid out, a simple yet elegant setting that was a departure from his typical commanding presence.

You took a seat, admiring the tranquility of the garden. Fuegoleon, usually so composed and stern, looked almost out of place in this serene setting. He poured the tea with a practiced hand, his movements deliberate yet gentle.

“It’s been a long time since we’ve had a moment like this.” you said, breaking the comfortable silence. “Remember when we used to play in this garden as kids?”

Fuegoleon smiled, a rare and genuine expression that softened his usually stern features. “Of course, I remember. You were always trying to catch the butterflies, and I was always trying to keep you from getting tangled in the bushes.”

You laughed softly. “And you always ended up covered in mud while trying to rescue me. We had some pretty wild adventures.”

“It’s funny.” you said, your voice softening as you looked around the garden. “I never thought we’d end up in such different places. You as the captain of the Crimson Lions and me here, still at the estate, but it feels like nothing has changed between us.”

Fuegoleon’s gaze lingered on you, his expression thoughtful. “I’ve missed these moments. It’s rare for me to have a chance to just sit and talk like this, without the weight of responsibilities pressing down.”

There was a pause as he set down his teacup, taking a deep breath as if gathering his thoughts. He looked at you with a mix of nostalgia and something more intense, a vulnerability that you hadn’t seen in him before.

“You know, Y/n,” Fuegoleon began, his voice carrying a sincerity that matched the peaceful setting, “I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how our lives have changed, and how much I’ve come to value these rare moments with you.”

He reached out as if to take your hand, his gaze steady and earnest. “I’ve realized that my feelings for you have grown deeper than I ever imagined. I’ve been holding back, but I can’t ignore it any longer.”

Just as he was about to grasp your hand, a lion from the estate’s stables, curious and playful, bounded into the garden. It darted towards you, its exuberance catching you off guard. In a moment of chaotic energy, the lion accidentally collided with you, sending you tumbling into the nearby bushes.

Fuegoleon’s hand was still reaching out to you, and as the lion’s sudden movement pulled you into the bush, it yanked him along too. Both of you fell into the soft, green bushes, landing in a heap.

For a moment, there was silence, broken only by the rustling of leaves and the distant roar of the lion, who seemed more curious than menacing. Then, laughter bubbled up from both of you, the absurdity of the situation breaking the tension.

Fuegoleon looked at you, his face flushed with a mix of laughter and embarrassment. “Well, it looks like some things never change.” he said, grinning as he gently disentangled himself from the bushes.

You smiled, brushing leaves from your hair. “I suppose some traditions are meant to be upheld.”

As you both stood up, dusting yourselves off, the moment of levity brought you even closer.

Fuegoleon’s earlier confession was still hanging in the air, and as you met his gaze again, the sincerity of his words felt even more poignant against the backdrop of shared laughter and familiar comfort.

You took his hand, the connection between you feeling more real and immediate than ever. “I think I’m glad we ended up here, despite the lion.” you said softly. “Your confession means a lot to me.”

Fuegoleon’s expression softened, his eyes reflecting both relief and happiness. “I’m glad to hear that, Y/n.”

With the sun setting behind you and the garden’s tranquility restored, you both settled back onto the grassy area, the earlier conversation picking up where it left off. The bond between you felt renewed, strengthened by both the laughter and the heartfelt confession that had brought you closer together.

🍁 NOZEL SILVA

Nozel and you were set up in an arranged marriage that initially felt loveless and obligatory. The first years were filled with formality and distance, with both of you merely fulfilling your roles. But as time passed, the boundaries of your arranged marriage began to blur. Through countless conversations and shared experiences, you both started to see each other in a new light, growing closer in a way neither of you had anticipated.

One evening, Nozel invited you to a secluded, elevated spot fat from the estate, known for its stunning view of the night sky. The place was a peaceful hill, far from the castle’s lights and noise, where the stars shone brightly, creating a serene and intimate atmosphere.

As you arrived, Nozel had prepared a cozy setup with a blanket and some snacks. The cool night air and the distant sounds of nature added to the calming ambiance. You both settled onto the blanket, the stars providing a beautiful backdrop for your conversation.

The night began with light and casual topics. Nozel, usually so composed, seemed more relaxed than usual. “You know, Y/n,” he began, looking up at the stars, “I used to think I knew everything about the world, but I never really took the time to look up and appreciate the sky like this.”

You smiled, glancing around at the view. “I feel the same way. It’s amazing how different everything looks when you take a moment to really observe it.”

The conversation naturally flowed, touching on favorite hobbies and shared experiences. “So,” you asked with a curious smile, “what’s one thing you’ve always wanted to do but never had the chance to?”

Nozel thought for a moment before answering, “I’ve always wanted to learn more about the stars. They’ve fascinated me since I was a child, but I never had the time to study them properly. It’s funny how we get so caught up in our duties that we forget to enjoy the simple things.”

You nodded in agreement. “I’ve always found stargazing calming. It’s like a reminder of how vast the world is and how small our daily worries can seem.”

As the night wore on, the conversation deepened, touching on more personal reflections. Nozel spoke about his responsibilities and how they had shaped him, while you shared your thoughts on the changes you’d seen in your own life over the years.

Eventually, the conversation took a more introspective turn. Nozel, his gaze still fixed on the stars, seemed to be gathering his thoughts. “Y/n, there’s something I’ve been meaning to say,” he began, his voice carrying a hint of hesitation. “When we first married, it was all about duty and obligation. We barely knew each other, and our relationship felt like just another formality.”

You looked at him, sensing the gravity in his tone. “Yes, I remember. It was a difficult adjustment, and I think we both struggled with it.”

Nozel continued, his voice growing softer. “But over time, as we’ve spent more time together and talked about so many things, I’ve come to see you in a different light. You’re not just a duty to me, you’re someone I genuinely care about and admire.”

He turned to face you, his expression earnest and vulnerable. “Tonight, I want to ask you something important. Will you marry me again, but this time not out of obligation or force, but because we’ve truly come to care for each other? I want our marriage to be based on something real, on mutual affection and understanding.”

His words hung in the air, and you felt a rush of emotions. The sincerity in his voice and the intimate setting made the moment feel profoundly special.

You looked at Nozel, a genuine smile spreading across your face. “I never imagined we’d come to this point, but I’m so glad that we have. I’ve come to care for you deeply as well. I’d be honored to marry you again, not out of duty, but because I want to be with you.”

Nozel’s face lit up with relief and happiness. He reached out, taking your hand gently. As Nozel finished his heartfelt confession, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, elegant box. He opened it to reveal a delicate ring, glistening under the starlight. With a gentle smile, he took your hand and carefully slid the ring onto your finger.

“This is a symbol of my promise,” he said softly, his eyes fixed on yours. “A promise that this time, our marriage will be based on something real, something deep.”

He then raised your hand to his lips, pressing a tender kiss to the ring. The gesture was filled with sincerity and affection, sealing the new chapter of your relationship with a touch of romance and commitment.

As the stars twinkled above, Nozel leaned closer, his gaze locked on yours. Slowly, he cupped your face with both hands, his touch warm and tender. Without breaking eye contact, he gently kissed you. The kiss was soft and filled with the unspoken promises of a future together, sealing the new beginning you had both longed for.

The night was filled with the warmth of your shared connection, and as you pulled away, you both felt an overwhelming sense of peace and joy. The stars above seemed to celebrate your renewed bond, making the moment even more unforgettable.

🍁 JACK

After weeks of a grueling mission in the forest, Jack had found you, injured and frail. Despite his usual indifference, he took you in, treating your wounds and caring for you. Over the past few weeks, you had traveled together, with Jack handling the heavy lifting while you rested and recovered.

One night, under the canopy of the forest, Jack set up a small campfire and began cooking a meal with the skill of someone who’s surprisingly adept in the kitchen. The warmth of the fire contrasted with the cool night air, creating a cozy environment. You sat nearby, wrapped in a blanket, watching Jack with a mix of gratitude and curiosity.

As Jack cooked, he tossed ingredients into the pot with practiced ease. “You know,” he said, his tone gruff but with a hint of satisfaction, “I’ve had to learn a thing or two about cooking. Can’t rely on others to feed me all the time.”

You smiled, taking in the delicious aroma. “I’m impressed. I didn’t expect you to be so good at it.”

Jack smirked as he stirred the pot. “Yeah, well, don’t get used to it. I only cook when I have to. And right now, I’d rather not eat whatever’s in those trail rations again.”

As the two of you shared the meal, the conversation flowed naturally. You talked about the oddities of the forest, the challenges of the mission, and your own experiences.

At one point, you asked, “So, Jack, what’s the most memorable mission you’ve had?”

Jack’s eyes lit up with a hint of mischief. “Most memorable? Well, there was this one time I had to track a rogue mage through a storm. Not only did I have to fight off a bunch of monsters, but I also had to navigate through a blizzard. Made for one hell of a story.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “Sounds intense. I’m glad you made it through.”

Jack shrugged. “Eh, it’s all part of the job. But enough about me. What about you? Ever done anything wild?”

Before you could answer, a bear emerged from the shadows, attacking without warning. Jack’s instincts kicked in immediately. He pushed you aside to protect you, engaging the bear in a fierce struggle. Despite his best efforts, the bear’s claws left deep scratches on Jack.

Once the bear was defeated, you rushed to Jack's side, leading him back to the cave you had been using as temporary shelter. As you tended to his wounds, Jack watched you with a mix of pain and something softer, though he tried to keep his usual gruff demeanor.

“You don’t have to go all out for me, you know,” Jack said, wincing slightly. “I’m used to roughing it.”

You looked up from his wounds, shaking your head. “It’s not about having to. It’s about wanting to. You’ve been looking out for me this whole time.”

Jack shifted uncomfortably, his voice dropping to a softer, almost embarrassed tone. “Yeah, well… It’s not like I’ve been doing it because I’m all noble or anything. I just—”

He hesitated, his usual bravado faltering. “I guess… I guess I’ve kind of grown used to having you around. And, uh, it’s not just because you needed help. I care about you, Y/n. More than I thought I could care about anyone.”

He looked away, trying to mask his embarrassment. “So, yeah. Don’t think I’m some weak shit or anything. I just wanted to say that… if you’re up for it, I’d like to keep you around. Not just for missions or whatever, but because I actually like having you by my side.”

You were taken aback by his confession, a smile spreading across your face as you looked at him. “Jack, I didn’t think you were the type to—”

“Hey! don’t make a big deal out of it,” Jack interrupted, though his voice was gentle. “Just… let’s stick together, alright?”

Before you could respond, Jack pulled you into a hug, his rough exterior softened by the warmth of the moment. You felt his heartbeat steady against yours, and as the night grew quieter around you, the bond between you felt deeper and more genuine.

[mrs-gucci]

Autopilot

Commander Mills x copilot!female Reader

whew, it’s been so long since I’ve written anything! it’s nice to dust off the old skills and write some steamy smut for the newest (and one of the sexiest!) Adam characters. I missed writing, so it’s really nice to be back :)

(also, two fics in one day?!?! crazy!!)

warnings. SMUT (18+ ONLY), possible 65 movie spoilers (but not anything important), oral sex (m receiving), oh so much dirty talk, unprotected sex, p in v, creampie.

word count: 896

summary~ Instead of getting some sleep, you and Mills have other ideas for the peaceful autopilot period.

** CLICKING “KEEP READING” MEANS YOU UNDERSTAND & ACKNOWLEDGE ALL OF THE WARNINGS LISTED ABOVE AND ARE OVER THE AGE OF 18. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK, YOUR CONTENT CONSUMPTION IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. MINORS DNI. **

The ship hums smoothly as it cuts across the deep void of space. All the passengers are safely contained in their cryogenic pods, so the ship is quiet, almost unnervingly so.

Well, it was quiet. Not so much anymore.

Mills let out a soft groan as your lips wrapped around the head of his hardened shaft, giving it a little suck and running your tongue over him. His head tilts back while his hands smooth over your skull, gripping the back of your hair gently.

One advantage of being in a ship with no conscious passengers is that there’s no need to hold anything back. You two have already done this several times and damn, it feels good to let go. 

“Shit,” he grunts, hips lifting slightly off the small cot. “That’s good, right there...mmm.”

It hasn’t taken you long to figure out how to please the Commander. He really just needs to destress, to take his mind off things. Most of the time he wanted to be in control, and you’re more than okay with that, but you definitely enjoy moments like these too.

You hum, taking more and more of him into your mouth until you can’t fit anymore. He lets out a gruff grunt, licking his lips and rubbing your head while you move up and down.

“God you’re good at this,” he breathes, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Haven’t had my dick sucked like this in a long fucking time, sweetheart.”

“Mm — well as your copilot, my job is to assist you throughout this mission, so I’m more than happy to help however I can.”

Mills chuckles and leans back a bit, watching you as you pleasure him with your mouth. A few breathy curses pass through his lips, growing in frequency as his orgasm builds.

Just before you bring him to climax, he pushes you off gently, catching his breath and recomposing himself. His eyes don’t leave yours, not even when he suddenly lunges forward and tosses you on the bed before flipping you over onto your stomach. His large arm wraps around your middle and yanks you up onto all fours, pressing your body flush against his.

His hips press forward, hardened length pushing up against your backside while his lips hover next to your ear.

“I can’t wait to get inside this pussy of yours,” he purrs, pushing down your pants while still continuing to grind himself on you. “You always take me so well, mm, I love fucking your brains out. Are you gonna stay nice and still for me, gonna let me fuck you stupid until I fill your little hole?”

You let out a pathetic whimper at his words, a plague of goosebumps spreading to your arms and down your legs. He smirks, teasing the skin of your neck with his scratchy beard as he frees his thick, lengthy arousal and lines up with your entrance.

He notches in a bit, allowing you a taste of what’s to come before pushing all the way in, forcing you open around him. You moan softly, shuddering with lust. His breathing is heavy in your ear, soft grunts and growls slowly melting your already muddy brain. Sex with Mills always essentially wipes your mind, only able to think about him and feel his body as it combines with yours over and over again. 

“Fuck...s-so fuckin’ tight...” Mills groans in your ear, exhaling shakily. “How are you still this t-tight after I’ve pounded you so many fffuuucking times? Can’t get enough of my big cock, is that it?”

You nod quickly. “There’s n-no such thing as too much of a good thing.”

He laughs at that, giving your ass a playful but firm smack. Your walls flutter and clench around his cock, drawing a rare deep, throaty moan from the Commander.

“Atta girl, make me cum,” he says, panting against your neck. “Make me give you my load, sweetheart.”

Hearing the Commander absolutely lose his usual uptight and composed demeanor is more erotic than anything in the whole galaxy. He’s surrendering, letting himself be taken over by the pleasure building inside his body and god, just that sight alone could make you cum.

“Ohh fuuuuck, Mills! Fuck m-me, mmm, keep going!”

His hips quicken their pace, causing his length to start hitting that sensitive spot on your walls. You moan loudly, jaw slacking as your orgasm builds rapidly.

One, two, three more thrusts and his hips are slammed up against your backside, deep moans and breaths echoing in your ear as he spills inside of you.

“Mmm, mmm, f-fuck…”

Your eyes roll back in your head at the feeling of his warmness painting your insides. But just as your orgasm begins to fade, he wraps his arm around and runs his fingers over your clit, causing your hips to rut forward at the contact.

“Now it’s your turn,” he says, nipping at your neck. “Show me what you’ve got, sweetheart.”

“O-Oh fuck—“

Mills’ fingers suddenly move at what feels like lightening speed and it sends you right over the edge, drawing a soft cry from your lips as your insides spark and buzz with orgasm.

“F-Fuck!”

Suddenly, a loud crash booms around you and the ship lurches, vibrating with impact. You both look at each other for a moment before rushing to get re-dressed.

****

send me your Mills thoughts!

Mills taglist: @safarigirlsp @candycanes19 @clydesfavoritegirl @holacherrycola90 @vedavan​ 

(let me know if you wanna be tagged in my Mills works by either commenting on this post or sending me a message in my inbox!)

[toska-writes]

Heyy could you maybe write another fives x platonic reader your stories are so good I binge read all of them

Wooo I love when I see you all binge reading on my posts!

“Keep your head up”

Read here on ao3: (✩)

Summary: After being rescued from some seppies Fives try’s to help you accept and love your newly acquired scars

Paring: Fives x GN padawan reader (Yes everyone it is PLATONIC)

Warning: Mentions of scars and injuries. Insecurity’s but Fives will make it all better

Word count: 713- and be so proud because I actually proof read

Notes: Don’t worry this is just a hold me over, an appetizer if you will, for a longer fic I plan to write later. Also there could be a part 2 to this with Alpha-17 maybe if your interested

He watched as the rest of his brothers started to exit the ship for their quick supply run on the rainy planet of Kamino, however Fives hung back with a quick nod from his general.

Rain pounded all around him as Fives waited for a moment before he saw your figure walking towards him, you made your way over to him a limp still present in your strides.

Fives or Rex normally volunteered to wait for you since it’s been a slow recovery since your last encounter with the separatist. With much begging Anakin finally let you come back with them on this mission.

And so far Fives could safely say that senators were dicks.

“You ok sir?” Fives asked as you came to a stop next to him.

You gave a small ‘Mhm’ as you kept your gaze trained to your boots. You’ve been getting a lot of that lately and you just wished thing were like they use to be.

Fives planted a firm hand on your shoulder making you glance up for a moment, he wouldn’t say anything but he could tell something was up.

His gloved hand traced over the raise red skin on your face, the stitches helped stop the bleeding but it still looked irritated and gnarly.

“I mean did you see what that senator was wearing? He couldn’t even talk.” Fives quietly spoke to you. You let out a small laugh and rolled your eyes.

“He did look stupid.” You thought back to a few hours ago.

Fives was taken aback almost with the searing white flurry of rage he felt in that moment when a senator made a comment about his commander. His vod’ika. About their appearance.

He looked over to where Jesse was stationed next to him, one of his hands were held in tight fists while the other hovered just over his blaster.

Rex took a step closer to you. If looks could kill the senator would be long gone from all of the men present. Fives didn’t need the force to sense that everyone was livid and Anakin was ready to explode.

“What if people are scared, what if those cadets don’t like me?” Your small question brought him back to reality.

Fives let out a small laugh of his own as you looked at him with wide eyes. Oh how he wished he could erase all the doubt from your mind.

“First off kriff what they think.” Fives brought your face into his hands being carful not to hurt you. His tone became serious and you listened closely.

“Second of all do you know how much respect you’ll get from all those men in there? You saved some of their brothers by getting those scars and your not a shiny nat-born now. Alpha-17 is going to go crazy because that’s what he wants to see in the brothers he trains.” Fives smiled at you as he wiped a tear.

“And it makes you look like a total badass.” He added

You laughed now wiping your eyes with the sleeve of your robe. The pair started to walk off of the ship and through the hanger.

“You think so?” You still spoke unsure.

“Oh of course, I mean you look way more intimidating now. Kinda like Wolffe.” Fives thought about his older brother and commander for the 104th. A shiver shot down his spine.

“I do don’t I.” You looked up to Fives with a smile on your face, a smile he hasn’t seen since the days before that mission. It felt like lifetime ago.

“Just keep your head up.” Fives lightly tapped the underside of your chin. “Everyone’s going to be blown away. Your one of the most skilled people I know. And if they are hooked up on this,” He gestured. “Then clearly they aren’t looking hard enough at you.”

You and Fives walked side by side into the stark white halls of Kamino. The pride he felt for you was through the roof, the familiar bounce in your step returned as met up with the others.

You knew you had Fives and all the other men to make sure you were all right. A personal posse of hype-men at your deposal, and you were forever grateful.

_____________________________________

@arctrooper69 @thereforepizza @padawancat97 @pb-jellybeans @floffytofu

[jaketsparrow]

Tending Part 5!

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f! Reader

Word Count: 11.1K

A/N: Sorry I just had to tease you guys today and make you wait :) Again, I’m so very sorry this took a while, I just had a lot going on! I hope you enjoy the chaos of this chapter, my mind reallyyyy just went wild. 

Another special shout out to @gvfpal for being amazing and getting the first dibs on this piece! Thanks for always listening to my crazy ideas :) 

MINORS DNI

MENTIONS OF/ TW: Sexual content (of course), unprotected sex (Don’t do this!), angst, swearing, Dom! Jake, restraints, possible orgasm denial, impact play, etc, it’s filth. 

Masterpost

Driving lately has become a weird buffer zone in your life. Every time you get into the car your thoughts just start running. It feels like stepping out of your life momentarily; like you are closed off from your own world. It was like being in your own TV show and watching the recap of the last episode. It’s safe, isolating, and a place to let your thoughts just go. 

As usual, your thoughts go to Jake. He has consumed your entire mind. You were once happy being alone; in fact, you preferred it. Every man you’ve dated in the past year or so hasn’t been someone to take home to the family. Honestly, neither was Jake yet, but there was something different about him. Jake was different than any man you had been with, you felt like he did care for you, but he just didn’t know how. It was like he was a confused little kid who didn’t know whether to kick his mom or hug her when she came home from a long day away. 

You’ve never found yourself weak or needing a man, but Jesus fucking Christ, you needed Jake. Every time you’re in his presence you can’t help but feel your heart rate rise, feel the need growing between your legs… He just had this majestic siren song that you keep falling for. You’ve accepted at this point that Jake was right, he will never be the perfect boyfriend, let alone the perfect man. He was protective of you and did care for you, but he would never let you know that without a fight. 

“Pants off, now.” He commands. 

Oh.

Did he really just?... 

He’s standing over you with this stupid judging face. You don’t want to obey him, but your body is telling you other things. Your heartbeat has traveled from your chest down between your legs, pulsing at the thought of fucking him again. You feel frozen in this state of complete lust. Last night’s extravagance deprived you of his cock, and now… that’s all you want.

Clearly annoyed by your hesitation, Jake scoffs and reaches down to your waist. He wraps his arms around your midsection and lifts you over his shoulder. Your core cuts into his shoulders as he hoists you over him. You feel like a ragdoll trying to manipulate your way out of his grasp.

“Jake!” You whimper, trying to wiggle yourself into a more comfortable position.

“You really ought to learn to fucking listen to me.” His open palm meets your clothed ass, providing a cushioned, but still stinging smack. You yelp, quite loudly, surprised by his actions. He turns his head to look at your defeating position, “You’re in big fucking trouble now.” 

There he was. The Jake you have been craving. The Jake that surprised you your first night together. The Jake who you always secretly wanted, but were also a little scared of. This version of him was almost completely heartless, using you as he pleased. You become his plaything when this persona switches on. And you enjoy every minute of it. 

He loops his fingers underneath the waistband of your sweats and yanks them off in one vigorous pull. Your ass is now on full display. You reach below his shirt and rake your nails across his lower back, trying any means to rile him up further. 

Jake winces through gritted teeth, “You’re such a fucking whore.” 

“And you fucking love it,” You cry.

Another open-handed smack breaches your ass; another yelp fires out of you. This one is sure to leave a mark. 

“You’re gonna wish you were good.” 

He starts his walk to the bedroom, and you continue to try to wiggle free of him. His grip is firm on you and the position he’s burdened you with provides no leverage to win. Although you really don’t want to be set free, it’s more fun not to completely comply with 

his whims. 

He approaches the bed and throws you down with a brute but controlled force. Your head falls back into the mattress you neatly made not that long ago. You reach your hands out to brace yourself from breaking. The fabric bunching up in your fists. 

“Hey! I just made this!” You chime.

Speaking at that moment was something you instantly regretted. 

Jake is standing over you, breathing hot and heavy. The tension in the air is thick and you know what you have gotten yourself into now. His demeanor is fierce, brow furrowed and eyes glaring through you. His hands are balled up by his sides and you can see the rigidity in his body. Behind his eyes, his brain is wracking through plans of what to do with you, his disobedient girl. 

You slide your legs up and down the mattress, nervous and excited about what he is thinking of. You run your hands down your stomach, trying to entice him to do something, do anything to you. Anything he wanted. You slowly part your legs, presenting yourself to him. 

“No. You don’t deserve that.” He barks, “If you think any of this will be for your pleasure… You’re delusional.”

“...Jake.” You beg. 

He reaches down towards your head, sending his fingers through your scalp and to the back of your neck, whipping you up, tugging his fingers on your hair. He leans closer to your face, still hovering over you. 

“Not.” A harsh pull at the back of your head puts you eye to eye with his looming presence. “My,” Another wincing pull tearing at your scalp, “fucking name.”

Jake holds you in his grip, dominating you completely. You feel defenseless, like an injured bird, waiting for him to care for you, but he doesn’t. 

“Please! Please, sir!” You beg. 

He releases you from his grip and your neck snaps back up to its rightful place. 

“Color.” He demands. 

You look up to him, eyes fierce and ready. “Green.”

Jake grabs your jaw, resting his grip along the bone, “You are mine right now. I didn’t give everything up for you to be flirting with my fucking twin. Do you understand me?”

You nod your head vigorously, feeling the shame settling in you. Who knew you could feel ashamed and horny all at the same time. 

“Words.” He orders.

You swallow any shame and try your best to put it aside; it wouldn’t help you now.

 “Yes, sir.” You mewl.

His hands move to the side of your neck, holding your jaw firmly with his thumb. 

“You know what you should be doing right now.” 

He guides your eyes down to look at the growing bulge in his pants. He seems harder than ever before, completely drunk on his own control. You look up at him through heavy eyes, scared. You’ve been here before. You need to please him again. 

Jake releases his hand from your jaw and moves it to run his fingers through the top of your head, coaxing you to get started. Gently placing your hand on his cock, you try to gently stroke him through his clothes. 

He fists your hair into his fingers, “No, no teasing. You don’t get to do that right now.” 

There would be absolutely no option for control for you. No teasing, any brattiness would come with a consequence. Jake steps back and leaves a bare spot on the carpet in between you two. His hand pushes you forward, launching your feet onto the rug, and then onto your knees. He releases his hand from your scalp and starts unzipping his pants. 

You are completely silent; compliant with his wishes. Waiting for his instructions. Your head rises to watch his cock slide out from his boxer briefs. It was daunting to see him like this, completely full, swollen even, bigger than you ever thought he was before. His right-hand grips around the solid skin, slowly stroking. His other hand reaches out to grab your cheeks, holding your mouth open in an ‘o’ shape. 

Your eyes graze up his body to meet his eyes. The chocolate brown irises are almost unrecognizable in this position. His dominating stature shines over you, completely taking over you. You can feel your excitement growing beneath you, but there is nothing you can do about that. The warmth that was blossoming between your legs would be shut until your turn if you were even allowed one. 

He loosens his grip around your jaw, resting his hand under your chin. 

His velvety tone sweeps into the air, relinquishing any uncertainty you had, “If you need me to stop,” Three taps of his fingers rap gently across your jaw, “Just do that, okay? Tap three times.”

“I won’t need to stop.”

A complete surge of neediness consumes you. You need him, you need to make him feel special, to remind him that you were going to be the woman he would never forget. You take your hands from your lap and fly them to his body. One hand grips into his thigh and the other takes its position around the base of his shaft. You nearly knock him over in the act, sending him into pure bliss. Almost taking him out of his command, shocking him with your ability to be the whore he wanted you to be. 

“Fuck…” He cries. “My fucking little slut couldn’t even wait-”

You slide your mouth as far as you can down his shaft, gagging yourself on all of him. His body shudders below your hand and you feel proud of your ability to melt him as much as he does to you. 

It doesn’t take too many wet strokes for him to finally gather himself back. His hand reoccupies the back of your head, trying to chase that same feeling again. Your mouth is shoved with as much of him as you can take, almost too much to handle. It’s worth the praise, you tell yourself. Take all of him now, and get all the rewards you can. 

“You’re taking me so well.” He says in gravely tones. 

You truly weren’t, you were choking him down, barely hanging on. Tears streaming down your eyes. You try to shoot your best doe eyes up at him, begging for him to have enough. You were reaching your limit, pushing yourself to a new maximum. 

Your head kept bobbing rhythmically against him, trying to hold him deep in your throat. You were doing things you didn’t even know your body was capable of. 

“My best little whore looks so good down there, sucking my cock.”

A swift and hard push of the back of your head launches you as far as you can take Jake, knocking your nose into his lower stomach. 

Three taps.

Fuck. You did need to stop. 

Jake slides out of your mouth as you cough heavily, gasping for air. You collapse your head, trying to stabilize yourself. Deep breaths. 

Jake tucks himself back into his pants and tries to assess the situation. He bends down to you, bringing his face down to yours; sweeping the hair out of your face. The switch was flipped, he was going into protective mode. 

“Sunshine.” He whimpers. You try to hold back your coughs and lift your head to his. He pushes the last strand of hair out of your eyes, “Are you okay?”

You nod your head, holding your breath in fear that more wheezes are going to escape. One deep breath through your nose clears the burning tickle in your throat. 

“Yes, I’m okay. Keep going.” 

His face lights up with your permission. The classic Jake smirk runs across his lips, almost a full smile revealing his excitement. 

“Good girl.” 

The words melt you. Any bit of praise was going to keep you going; it was going to make you need him more. 

He lifts you slowly back onto the bed, trying his best to be gentle only for this moment. He sprawls you out onto your back and sits next to you. 

The slowdown of all the action, the passion, is getting to you. He’s treating you like a weak girl, but you weren’t. He just took you by surprise. You wouldn’t let that one moment take away the Jake you had been craving. 

“C’mon, are you going to fuck me?” The words sputter out of you, only half confident, but still ringing strong through the air. 

Jake snaps his neck to scowl at you. There it was. 

His arm travels to your neck, holding you in place, once again choking for air, “What if I’ve had enough of you today? What then?” 

What if? Would he still be here if he did?

“You fucking want it and you know it… You’ve been thinking of it since last night. Seeing my cunt all soaked and not getting to feel it for yourself.” 

Who the fuck just said that? A month ago those words wouldn’t have even been something you would be comfortable thinking, let alone saying out loud. 

Your vile words shock Jake as well; you can feel the grip on your neck waiver a moment as he processes. And then. Well.

“You think you fucking know it all? My little slut thinks she knows me better, huh? I think it’s you that’s been craving my cock. You could barely wait your turn to fucking choke on it. You’re dying for me to fuck you. You’ve been naughty, trying to get me to take you. Being a little whore in front of me. Now you can wait.”

Jake stands up, and for a moment you’re actually worried he’s about to walk out of the room. Instead, he reaches for your left ankle and yanks it to the corner of the bed, the sheets sliding you across the mattress. 

“Shirt off.” He orders, and you comply instantly. 

He rounds the edge of the bed and grabs your wrist next, pulling it up by the pillow you slept on last night. With his other hand, he reaches deep into the side of the mattress between the bed frame and pulls out a restraint. It’s a soft cuff with velcro to hold it together. He holds it out for you so you can see. 

“Green?” He asks, eager for your answer.

“Fucking yes.”

A rip of velcro and then the cuff is wrapped around your wrist. You softly tug at the restraint, noticing it wasn’t going to be easy to break out of it, but you guess that was the point. 

Two more rips and soon your ankles are loosely restrained to the corners of the frame. You have more movement with your legs than your hand, but still would not be able to break free of the cuffs. 

He walks around the bed to the other side, surveying your naked body. Taking in each inch with his gaze. He was going to be the predator, and you the helpless prey. 

One last rip of velcro and the other cuff wraps around your wrist. Once he’s satisfied with the cuffs, he walks over to stand directly in front of you, watching you test each limb for movement. 

“What if I just left you like this? Just stood here and watched you beg for my cock.” The words are cold and cruel. You can feel the fire, no, the need burning in you with the thought of not having him. 

“No! Please, please. I need you. I want you.” You beg mercilessly. 

“So much for all that back talk before, huh? ‘Please’” He mocks. “I’m not so convinced you’re ready to be good yet.”

The need is gathering through your stomach, down between your legs. There was no way to hide the slickness that was starting; he would be able to see all of you.  

“Please!” You gasp, “I can be good, I promise sir… Just please fuck me. Fuck me, Sir!”

“Hmmm…” He drops his hands down on the mattress, staring you down, watching you writhe through the desire. “You don’t deserve anything. Trying to make me upset, trying to tease me, such a fucking whore today.”

The words coming from him are completely a facade. He knows he wants this now. He’s in too deep. He loves to see you like this, completely helpless; completely his. You have more of a say in this than he wants you to know. But you know what to do. You know the games he likes to play. 

“Please, baby. I know. I was such a bad girl… I’m a dirty slut. I fucked up. You can be mad at me, please… please just take me, I want to make you happy.” 

He watches you for a brief moment, letting the pleads hang in the air. His eyes are lit with an insatiable lust. He wanted it. He wanted it bad. He may be able to mask it with his words, but his body tells a completely different story. He pushes himself off of the mattress and begins to undress himself. Teasing you with each reveal of his tanned skin. 

First his shirt. The edges of the fabric slowly climb their way up his gorgeous soft stomach. It was like a curtain lifting at the beginning of a show, each inch elevating your excitement for the first act. 

The silence was eating at you. What was he thinking? What was he going to do…

“Please, Please…” You implore. 

Next is his zipper, slowly sliding down to once again, reveal his bulging, practically jumping cock. The sight of it is sending you into a ferality. You pull against the restraints, trying to lift yourselves towards it. Paying no mind to the forces holding you back, you try to reach for him.  

“Tsk, tsk, tsk,” He growls, “So impatient.” 

Pleading moans erupt out of you. You feel like you’re being withheld from the thing you want most, well, because you are. You feel your core tightening. His sultry, teasing behavior is absolute torture. 

“I need you! I need it, please!” 

Slowly, the remainder of his clothes fall off of his body, revealing his perfect stature. His body looks like it’s carved with absolute perfection and care. Each edge is softly rounded, ready to be touched. 

He crawls across the bed, bringing his head close to your aching cunt. His breath permeates your skin. He reaches one finger up to your lower stomach, slowly dragging it from your navel to your clit. You’re whimpering with each movement he makes. 

“Is this...” He finally plants his finger firmly onto your bundle of nerves, shocking every muscle in your body, “What you want?” 

“Yes, yes, yes…” The words are echoing out of you, pressing for more. 

“You’ve been very good, surrendering to me. You know your a bad girl, right? That I’m being extremely forgiving for even taking you this far.” 

“Yes, sir…” 

His tongue crashes into you, at first wide and spreading you, then narrowing onto your needy clit. The first pass over you sends you into complete shock, you can’t do anything but feel. The restraints prevent you from being at all distracted by anything but his soft, precise movements. 

He builds his pace, tasting everything of you that he can. 

“Oh poor thing, you can’t even help it.” He teases, “You just have to take it all.” 

“I want it all…” It’s getting harder to even form sentences. All you can think about is his face on you, completely drenching you. His tongue exploring each fold, each sensitive spot. You feel the tightness, the excitement rushing through you. Your legs shaking, arms fighting against the restraints. Labored moans fighting their way out. 

“Oh, well that won’t do.” He stops everything, denying you the release you were feeling so close to, “I’m sorry sunshine, but this is for my pleasure. Remember?” 

You whine, exasperated cries spilling into the air. 

“Are you being ungrateful?” 

A flat-handed smack splays across your swollen cunt. You lift your neck to watch it all happen. The evil smirk splayed across Jake, the hand meeting your skin, the soft gasps escaping your lips. 

“Color?” He asks. 

You think for a moment, “Green.”

Another soft blow swats at you, absolutely wrecking your body. Each blow feels like a shock wave of filthy pleasure. 

“Fuck…” This moment felt so dirty. Felt so good. He always pushed you to new levels of pleasure. 

He wastes no time at this point. He can’t wait any further to feel you. He knows he can’t hold out on you any longer. 

Jake pushes himself up on the mattress and starts to slowly pump himself. A steady stream of spit falls from his lips onto his cock, lubricating himself. 

“Are you ready for this?” He asks, most likely not caring how ready you are, it just means he was ready. 

You nod your head, unable to even fathom the force he will bring to you. 

“Words.” He commands. 

You strain to focus yourself, “Please just fuck me.” 

He reaches over to the corners of the bed, releasing your ankles from the restraints, but leaving your hands in their disciplinary holds. 

He grabs your hips and lifts you to line up with him. His cock blows into you, straight to the hilt. You moan loudly, almost graphically. He squeezes his thumbs into your sides, stabilizing himself. Low grunts come through his gritted teeth.

He isn’t giving you any mercy, pounding himself into you. Each drill pushes further and further into you, breaking you in two. 

“Fuck, you feel so good,” You groan. 

“Yeah? My little slut likes getting fucked like this?” He asks. 

“She’d like it a lot more if you were harder,” You reply through choked breaths. 

You don’t need to beg much for this. 

“That’s why you’re my fucking favorite.” 

Jake assumes his hand on your neck, gripping you tightly. You thought he was going hard before, but this was unreal. Each pump into you provided a harsh blow to your body. It was calculated, menacing, everything you fucking wanted. 

You feel him fill you entirely, your cunt consuming every inch of his unyielding cock. You feel yourself already losing control, building to climax. He feels so good, better than ever before. You both feel confident in each other, and you both know how to get each other to the highest high. 

“Oh, you think you deserve to come?” 

Fuck. 

“Please!” You beg. “Please sure, please.” 

He looks deeply into your desperate eyes. He can see the absolute terror of being denied. You feel like maybe he might give in, might let you get there. You know how close you are and you can feel him getting there too. You risk it all. 

You wrap your legs around his waist, holding him into you, preventing him from escaping. 

“You fucking-” 

You both gasp in unison, reaching your orgasms just moments after the other. Jake lowers himself by your ear, uttering complete pornographic moans. It feels intimate to hear him like this, to hear how happy you’ve made him. 

Your body shudders underneath him, clenching around his softening body. Your restricting hold increases every tightening muscle in your core, lifting your back completely off of the mattress. Feelings of butterflies flurry through your body, starting from your satisfied cunt, down through your legs. 

You both mix within yourself, feeling your body flood with him. 

“You fucking slut.” He chokes out. 

You giggle in his ear, “Admit it, Jake, you fucking love it.” 

Instead of feeling excitement for your destination, you just feel uneasy. You could feel the sweat slickening the steering wheel the harder you gripped it. Deep down, there was a part of you that wished you didn’t agree to go see the band. 

The last time you interacted with Josh, it left Jake feeling jealous. He truly had no right to be jealous of you just making friends. But now, there was some lingering destructive intent. You wanted him to feel that way; as petty as that was of you. You were always the one chasing after Jake, begging him for attention, begging to be the only one. That morning with the twins was your opportunity to give him a taste of how it feels to be you. 

That point didn’t entirely come off to him, instead, the argument just led to more intense angry sex. That was always going to be the best way for you two to get in the mood. 

You hate knowing that Jake can get out of any argument by getting you fired up. At least you knew that all these arguments could in theory just be your foreplay, not ever real fights. It made you feel diminished, but then again, he would always find a way to make everything up to you by the end. 

Jake and his stupid, stupid apologies were going to kill you someday.

You both knew you had work that night, so Jake opted to drive you home so you could get ready. The morning and early afternoon flew by at his house. You were quite exhausted at that point and were ready to wash away the very sinful acts that still lingered on your skin. 

You didn’t have much time to prepare yourself for the shift and had to rush through your usual routine. Shower. Brush your teeth. Get dressed. Get out the door. The whole hour went by in a blur. 

And just as usual, you pull through the cavernous parking lot of fleets and find your always unoccupied spot in the back. You still manage to arrive before Jake, whose car was missing from the lot. You turn off the engine and head into the back door. The kitchen is busy, with loud clanging and shouts emerging from behind the hallway walls. 

You drop your bag and head out to the main floor. Chris is nowhere to be seen yet, and the only other employee you can see is… of course. Mariella. 

She’s wearing this shit-eating grin talking to the regulars. You feel a wave of disgust run over you and you have to try and control yourself from letting your emotions get the best of you. The last time you saw her she was trying to fuck up your relationship with Jake, and well… She succeeded. You can’t let her do that to you. You can’t let your jealousy burn through what you have with him. He chose you, and you chose him. 

Breathe through it, let it go, and kill that bitch with kindness. 

You walk to the bar and hop under the counter, joining her behind the bar. She doesn’t turn to acknowledge you as you clock in. It all feels so middle school. You pretend she doesn’t exist, and she’ll probably do the same. 

The dishwasher beeps and you run over to start emptying the glasses. She pops her head over to look at you briefly but turns back to continue flirting with the 40-year-old in front of her. 

You’re extremely annoyed, but continue to complete your chores; well technically hers. Where the fuck is Jake? And why the fuck is she still behind the bar? 

“Hey girl,” Hearing her voice is like the equivalent of drinking lemon juice. It’s bitter, soured, and ultimately- unpleasant. 

You don’t even bother to look back at her, instead zeroing in on the steamy glasses. 

“So,” She starts, “I hope I didn’t fuck things up with you and Jake.” 

You snap your head to look at her, trying your best to display how uncomfortable you are in her presence. 

She’s so fake. Of course, she hopes she fucked things up. She manipulated you with the perfect words to turn on Jake. You continue to pull the glasses out of the dishwasher, lining them up on the counter to be put away.

“No things are fine. We talked it out. He said he’s done with all the temporary girls.” You glare back at her. 

Being petty is fun. 

“Aw, well I’m so glad to hear it babes,” She rests her hand on your shoulder and breezes past you out from behind the bar. “Oh and don’t worry, I closed out all my tabs.” 

The rage is filling in you. You felt brave at this moment, ready to settle any sort of anger you felt with her. 

“Mariella.” She stops to turn, just a few feet away from the counter. You stride over to the corner of the bar, separating you two with the counter. “What you did…” Your voice and bravery is starting to trail off when the reality of the situation was setting in, “What you did was fucked up. You knew I liked him before you did anything with him. When I finally got my chance you chose to be a backstabber and try to kill my dream. That’s not what friends do.”

Her face hasn’t changed through any of your words. A scowl is burned across her brow, “Who said we were friends?” 

Her words take you back. You thought you had been friends. You had worked at Fleets together for over a year now and had spent many nights together drinking and complaining about the shithole bar. Now she was denying it all? 

No. You can’t let her keep getting to you. You can’t let her make you second guess yourself anymore. 

“No, you don’t get to do that to me anymore Mariella. You don’t get to make me feel like shit. So what you had Jake first? So what you don’t want to be my friend? I am not jealous of you anymore, and you can’t make me feel second class just because your tits are bigger and you can seduce any of these losers in this bar. I won. I get Jake.” 

Mariella bursts out laughing, almost in tears. “Whatever! You won! Great for you. Hope you enjoy it all. Good luck with that mess of a human! I hope you’re very happy together.” 

She continues laughing to herself as she walks into the back office. 

That wasn’t the satisfying ending you wanted. 

You pull into a spot in front of the venue. The parking lot was dimly lit and full of cars. People lingered in front of the door, chatting, sharing cigarettes, waiting for something exciting to happen. 

The band had already been here for an hour or so setting up; probably having some pre-show drinks to loosen up. Even though they don’t go on for another twenty or so minutes, you decide it is better to leave earlier than to just sit idly waiting in your apartment. But now that you were here, and were early, you don’t want to go in until it’s time for their set to start. 

You feel your heart climbing into your throat. You truly didn’t think you would still get anxious over these things, but after everything that’s happened this week, it feels like walking on glass. 

You press your hands into your face and try to regulate the fear permeating through you. You try your best to flush it away, remembering you’re only here to support the band. You can’t let Jake’s jealousy control you forever. Whatever happens, happens. 

Jake walks through the back and heads towards the bar. As soon as he sees you a huge smile appears on his face. Was he actually happy to see you, or was he just thinking about what you both did just hours before? Either way, you smile back. The cheerful appearance of him is making you blush. Everything starts to feel real like never before. 

The back office door opens again and you see Mariella waltz out to the back. Chris appears in the doorway, making direct eye contact with you. Shit. Did she just tattle on you for being mean to her? Why does every interaction with her feel like high school all over again? 

Chris brings his hand up to wave you towards him, one finger inching in his direction. An audible sigh escapes your lips. Jake jostles to the bar and hops over the counter with incredible agility. 

“What the fuck?” You ask, completely perplexed at his insane amount of energy. 

He laughs, knowing how strange his action must have been. He walks past you, quickly uttering, “You make me feel like a whole new man baby.”

You would be inclined to jump onto him and mount him right there if you knew your boss wasn’t also staring you down from the other room. You try your best to acknowledge Jake, while still slipping away. 

“Oh good, you needed a new personality,” You joke, slipping out from the bar, “One sec, I’ll be right back.” 

“Screw you!” He sarcastically jeers from the POS system. 

You awkwardly jog over to the office door, letting yourself in. Chris is already back in his seat at his corner desk. He looks defeated, and well, really annoyed. His hand is sprawled across the right side of his face, holding his shaking head. You close the door behind you, trying to make him aware of your presence. 

“Sit,” he barks, pointing at the spare dining room seat opposite to him. 

You gingerly sit down on the cold wooden chair and try to sit up straight, holding yourself as professionally as you can. 

“What the fuck is going on?” His words cut the air. 

What situation is he even talking about?

“With?” You ask, surveying for him to give you more. 

Chris sighs and leans back into his chair, resting his clasped hands over his beer belly, “Listen, you’ve always been a fine employee. You show up, you do what you need to, and you leave. But I don’t deal with fucking drama. I don’t deal with he said she said, she’s dating him, he’s into her, bullshit. That’s why I put the rules in place.”

Ohhh what the fuck? What the hell is he even talking about? Mariella totally fucking tattled on you- to your boss of all people! 

You angle yourself forward, your face painted with confusion, “Okay, first off, I don’t know what to say to any of that, second of all, what rule?” 

“The no dating other employees rule.” The what? Chris continues, “Jake knew about it... I had a conversation with him about it. And yet we still have bullshit! And I really don’t fucking want bullshit.”

“Hold on, hold on,” You brace your hands out, trying to slow Chris, “Why am I just hearing of this rule now?”

Chris drops his hands, “I dont know. I just… I thought you were a lesbian.”

Your face drops and utter shock goes through your body. “Chris-”

“What? You were always hanging around Mariella and never had a boyfriend and only flirted with the ladies.” He throws his hands up trying to save this conversation he has so clearly lost. 

“Chris… Just because I’m not trying to suck face with the forty-year-old alcoholics out there, does not mean I’m a fucking lesbian.” You bury your face in your hands, completely over this entire interaction, “You have to tell all the employees the rules. Even if I was gay, what if I dated one of the other girls here?” 

“Listen… I don’t know why I didn’t tell you, okay? But bottom line, Jake knew.”

“Okay,” You trail off, “So…? Sounds like you’re getting at something else here Chris.”

Chris squares himself, leaning his hands into his thighs, “Well… Either you two,” he motions with hands a cut across his throat, “You know, end it. Or, one of you has to go. We’ve had struggles with this in the past. You both are great bartenders, but that can all change when you start getting into little spats and fighting in the bar.”

Little does he fucking know… 

“So, you want me to end my relationship, which I don’t even know if it is a real relationship or not-”

Chris moans, “God. I don’t care what it is-”

“Or you want me to quit?” The words feel sour and morose. 

Chris stands up, trying to get out of the unpleasant exchange. He walks over to rest his hand on your shoulder. A sad, looming expression dawns on him. 

“Doesn’t have to be you, kid.”

He goes to open the door, letting the light of the bar flood through the office. You can feel the tears forming in your eyes. A slight choke sits at the back of your throat. Everything that has to do with Jake and you always is a fucking disaster.

Why does everything have to be so hard? Why can’t you just have it easy? Why can’t Jake just be yours and you be his? What does everyone have against you two? Is this a bigger sign that maybe he just can’t be with you?...

“Chris,” You beg, “Can I just talk to him for a few minutes?”

He shakes his fist and tries his hardest to let go of any frustration, “Fine, but make it quick I hate that regular.”

And the same as he did with you, he waves Jake over to the office. Jake tilts his head like a sad puppy and quickly jogs out from behind the bartop. He strolls into the hallway, and Chris brushes past him to go take his place. 

The tears are still welling in your eyes and you can’t quite regulate your breathing. The frustration and anger you feel for Chris’ stupid policy is mixing with the dissatisfaction of Jake once again withholding information from you. 

“Sunshine?” He asks confused. 

You grab his hand and pry him into the office, closing the door behind him.

“Sit,” You plead. 

Now the roles were reversed. You try your best to compose yourself and consume all the sad emotions that were begging you to crawl out. 

Jake sits in the same chair as you did, “What?-”

“Jake.” Breathe. Don’t take it too far, “Did Chris inform you of a certain… No dating other employees rule?” 

He shifts awkwardly in the chair, obviously trying to avoid the interrogation, “Well, yeah, but-”

“Please… Please don’t say we’re not in one, because that will fucking kill me right now.” Your voice is breaking.

He sinks back into the chair. For the first time, he seems… hurt.

“I wasn’t going to-”

“Jake if you knew, why didn’t you tell me? Now I’ve got Chris telling me one of us has to quit or we… or we… you know…”

He runs his hand through his hair and turns to face you head-on. He reaches out for your hands, and you half haphazardly return them into his grasp. 

“I didn’t want you to not consider us an option. So I didn’t say anything.”

You take your hands back from him, quickly planting them on your hips, “So you think putting my job at risk is perfectly fine? All this behind my back shit is getting pretty old Jake, and we’ve barely even been at this a few weeks.” 

He drops his head, catching the crown of his hair in his fingertips, “What the hell did you want me to do?” 

You throw your hands in the air, fumbling to even find the right answer, “I don’t know Jake! But we could’ve tried to figure this out together before I was once again blindsided by something you hid from me! Because of your mistakes, Mariella came tattling to Chris-”

He lifts his head, staring you down. His eyes are sincere yet concerned. A look you’ve never seen from him, “She what?” 

“I told her to fuck off. I finally stood up for myself and she came in here to tattle.”

Jake closes his eyes and clenches his fists softly, “She’s not the kind you attack with words sunshine.”

You shake your head, not even believing that he’s telling you that you shouldn’t have stood up for yourself, “Jake that’s beside the fucking point. Because of you now I have to choose between walking away from my job or you.” 

“You’re not seriously going to choose are you?” 

“Doesn’t sound like I have a choice. I don’t want to. I want you, but I also need a fucking job. And right now you’ve pissed me off again.” 

“Again, what the fuck was I supposed to do? Do you wish I did nothing at all?”

“No,” You retort, quick to remind him you did want this. 

He rises to his feet, trying to establish some sort of control in the conversation, “Okay, so what then? You knew we were going to be all or nothing, or at least I did. I knew I had to have you, I didn’t think the rule was going to be held up.” 

“Jake.”

He rests his hands on your shoulders, “No, don’t fucking choose. What’s he going to do?”  

“Jake I’m pretty sure he’s going to fire one of us if we don’t pick. And we’re both on thin ice here so it will ultimately be whoever he likes more…” 

Jake shakes his head and drops his hands off of you, beginning to turn towards the door, “Can’t believe it. That you’re even considering it. After everything.” 

You grab his wrist, “After what Jake? After you finally decided you wanted to be with me? After I sat waiting months for you? After you fucked my friend? After you avoided this whole situation? After what?”

He snaps his wrist back to his side and reaches for the door handle. He shoots one last distraught glance back before heading back out into the hallway. 

It was about halfway through their set before Josh jumped off the stage to rush to you. He had been waiting for the right moment to run over to you all night. Shooting you happy glances, singing to you from the stage, and even ushering Jake over to the side you were sitting on so you could see him better. 

He waited until the worst possible moment to rush over to you, during one of Jake’s solos. 

He was worse than you when it came to pushing Jake. You could push him and get away with it, you knew it was all an act. But with Josh… He thought it was all a fun game, not realizing later that you would have to defend his actions like they were your own. 

Josh grabs your hand to lift you out of your seat, so eager to get you on your feet. The chair that you previously occupied clatters behind you. The crowd is completely distracted by Josh, and well, you. He swoops you close to him and soon your feet are moving along to the beat, jumping around with Josh in a flurry of happiness. 

Usually, you only had the enjoyment of watching live music, never participating in it. Here, you were now a part of this moment with them, and the one you wanted most to be happy for you, would clearly find this all too much. 

Josh grabs your hand and spins you around him, moving charismatically, so smoothly; quite romantically. If people were looking, they might think that Josh was the one you were with. Jake’s playing gets more technical with each moment, trying to win back the crowd’s attention, but everyone is watching his twin and you, swirling in a passionate dance on the bar floor. 

A smile is lit across your face; you’ve never had this much fun before, ever. There’s just enough whiskey in your system to completely evaporate any fear, or really notice the crowd cheering you on. You lower your hand across Josh’s waist, and he matches you, squeezing into your hip. You both circle each other, intoxicated in the glow of the moment. 

Jake’s solo slowly clamors to an end, and Josh realizes his cue to run back to the stage. He drops his hand from you and places a fragile kiss on your cheek before rushing back up to the mic. 

The crowd erupts in drunken cheers and you turn to notice the gathering they had made around the floor. They’re on their feet, clapping, enthusiastic about the thrilling moment. You awkwardly curtsey to the group and make your way back to your seat, picking it back up off the ground. 

The spirit of the moment quickly is burned when you look up and see Jake is not matching your excitement. A looming, angered glare is searing through any happiness you feel. He’s barely paying attention to the music, instead, steaming on the side of the stage. Gripping the guitar so tightly you fear it would break with any tighter hold. 

Shit. 

“Chris, can… I’m sorry can we just work this shift and figure it out tonight? I just want to do my job right now.”

Another classic Chris grunt and he waves you off, “Go. It’s gotta happen though. One of the choices.”

“Yes, yes I know,” You grovel, hoping that if you can’t come to a decision, he won’t be picking you to go. 

You rush back over to the bar and continue the chores you had left earlier. Of course, Chris didn’t bother picking up any slack, and neither did Jake. 

The thoughts are unraveling in your mind now. The control you had tried to exert is slowly withering away. Even though you had felt far more tough lately, you still couldn’t completely swallow the soft, emotional side of you. 

What the hell kind of choice is this? Lose your job or lose the boy you fought everything and everyone to have? Why does the universe fucking hate you?! 

Your body felt weighed, completely exhausted by all the drama and all the decisions. If you didn’t have responsibilities outside of this relationship, you would instantly pick Jake, but you can’t risk not having any income. You were a girl alone. No rich mommy or daddy to come to save you when you needed it most. You had given all of that up. No friends that could save you, they were miles away back home. You hate to admit it, but you were truly alone here. 

Sure, you had people, but no one that would be willing to take in a stray. Jake had his brother, he had more than you. It wasn’t fair to compare, but you were thinking it. 

He doesn’t seem to want to give you up either, at least that’s how it feels. He was heartbroken; defeated in that office. Just as sad as you. 

“Coming through-” Jake strides past you, holding onto three drinks, carefully balancing them in his hands, until he’s not. 

You turn to move, not realizing how close he was to you and knock your arm into his, sending the drinks flying over the front of your shirt. 

“Fuck!” You exclaim. 

Jake matches your sentiment, “Oh, shit.” 

You quickly run to grab a rag from the shelves behind the counter, trying to soak up the sticky liquid as fast as you can, before any stains set in. 

“Foul!” Yells one of the nasty regulars.

“Dude, shut up.” Jake retorts, rushing over to assist you, “I’m sorry, I should’ve-”

“It’s fine.” You don’t mean to be harsh, but in that moment all you could do was try to get him away. You didn’t want to think about him, about the situation, about any of it. You just wanted to get back to work. 

“This is Danny, and this is Sam,” Josh introduces the two other members of the band. 

You all gathered around the corner booth at the bar after the set. Jake had been avoiding you, taking his time to pack all of his things. The other boys were far less concerned with cleaning up, and headed straight to the bar, well straight to you. 

“Ohhh, so you’re the mysterious girl we’ve been hearing all about, huh?” Sam crosses his arms over his chest, surveying you, trying to be funny. 

“Oh yes, I’m very mysterious,” You joke back. 

Josh chuckles, “She isn’t one bit mysterious Sam, Jake is just always very vague with his lover’s darling. He doesn’t like to kiss and tell.”

You swallow back a large gulp of Jameson Ginger, “Oh yeah. I’m well aware.” 

Danny echoes into the conversation, trying to eagerly get in, “So how long have you two?...”

“Not long.”

“Oh,” Sam ponders, “I thought. Well, he’s been talking about a bartender for a-”

Josh shoots Sam a concerned look, trying to shut him up.

He knew? Did he know about Mariella? 

“Oh no, I’m not the only bartender,” Your comment is snide and condescending. You hope it’s not making a fool of yourself, but you want everyone to know the games Jake likes to play. 

You feel the alcohol finally hitting you now, maybe you didn’t realize it before, but standing with them for that short few moments was turning your mind into rubber. 

“Sam, c’mon. He’s your brother, you know how he is.” Danny whispers to Sam. 

Shit. Not another brother. 

“Was.” You correct, holding your finger out at Danny, “Let’s hope it’s was.” 

“Yes Mama,” Josh puts his hand on your shoulder, he turns to face the boys, “We like her, so we’re going to hope it’s ‘was’.”

“Where did he even go?” You ask, slurring your words slightly. 

Sam shrugs his shoulders, and is the first to sit in the booth, “I don’t know but I’m not waiting around for him to have any fun!”

“I like your thinking!” Josh exclaims, jumping in the booth beside Sam. 

Danny corrals on the other side of Sam, and Josh pats the empty seat next to him. Fuck. 

You cautiously slide into the booth next to Josh, trying to leave ample space between the two of you. 

The boys are like classic best friends. Danny and Sam seem to have a great bond, completely forgetting the fact that they aren’t blood brothers. They act like they’ve known each other their whole life. Their outfits are almost matching, both in patterned jeans and snug-fitting plain shirts. Their hair is just about the same length, except Danny’s is curly and wild, and Sam’s is sleek and flowing; similar to Jake's.

Josh is clearly the eccentric one of the group, sporting some sort of animal skin vest and low-rise dark wash jeans. He has on so much jewelry it jingles with each movement he makes. He’s practically wearing a tambourine with all the clangs. 

They all speak amongst themselves, raving about the set, the crowd, parts they think they nailed, and parts they want to work on more. It was a nice break for you to just enjoy being there with them, getting to know them just by watching. You were picking their brains without them even realizing that you were doing so. 

The two brothers fake-bickered with each other. Similar to how Josh and Jake would torment each other, but in a much more playful and innocent manner. You could see Jake in both of them, in different ways. Josh, well because they were twins, they shared eerily identical expressions. Josh just carried all of them in a more lighthearted way. Sam, on the other hand, you could see Jake’s sass within him. 

Just as you are finally ready to find a way to sneak into their fun, a presence joins you at the booth. You can feel the heat radiating off of him as he slides into the spot next to you, pushing everyone further down in the booth. His hand reaches over to your thigh, grasping it tightly, marking his territory. 

“Hi, Sunshine.” He grits through labored breaths. 

“Welcome!” Josh roars, “Glad to finally see you joining us!”

“Well, someone had to talk to the manager- who by the way, was very impressed by our performance. He wants us back next month.” Jake says these words as if they aren’t even exciting at all. 

“Oh! That’s awesome!” You cheer, looking around at all the boys. 

Their faces light up with victory, and they immediately start cheers-ing each other. 

Josh nudges your shoulder, “It was most definitely our dancing Mama! That energy got the whole crowd going! You’re our good luck charm.” 

You blush at Josh’s kind words, “Wherever you guys go, I’ll be there to cheer you on…” 

You drop your hand to the table, showing the boys you’re in this with them. They all take turns grabbing your arm and showing their appreciation. 

“Yeah, they really loved you.” Jake sneers. 

The sarcasm is lost on Sam, who pipes up, “Yeah they were all cheering for you guys! It was awesome, they stayed standing the rest of the set!”

Danny nudges Sam and whispers in his ear. Danny is like Sam’s conscious, warning him of all the sourness that is happening at the table. Sam awkwardly smiles. 

Jake pulls your drink from your loose grip and finishes the remainder of it. You shoot him a disgusted glance, furrowing your brow harder than you thought you possibly could. 

The boys all sit in silence, watching this awkward interaction.

Josh is quick to break the ice, like always, “So next time, maybe we can coordinate something? A little moment just for us?”

You turn to him, trying to warn him not to say that in front of Jake. But it’s too late for that. Jake grips your thigh, hard, nearly breaking through your jeans. 

“It’s not her band.” He snaps. 

“Yes Jake, I know it’s not my band,” You crack. 

“I liked your dancing!” Danny encourages, “You were really good!”

You grin back at Danny, thanking him with your expression. 

Josh jumps back into his own conversation, “Ok, but imagine, if we did that spinning thing again, but we lined it up with-” 

“Maybe you can take up one of your solos to dance with her.” Jake is being completely rude. You know the cause of it all. You know why he’s so ill-mannered. You try your best to forgive him but know there’s too much brash to go unnoticed by the others. 

“Josh, let’s think about this another time, okay? Let’s enjoy the victory of the night for now,” You turn to Jake, “Jake, we were just playing around okay?”

Jake rolls his eyes and leans back into the booth. He takes his hand from your thigh and rests both of his wrists on the table, fiddling with the callouses on his fingers. Josh nods his head and finally gets the point. 

Danny jumps up from the booth, excusing himself to go grab some more drinks. The table’s vibe has completely changed, instead of excited conversation, it’s mute. Sam is paying attention to the music playing over the speakers, tapping along to the beat. Josh is trying to get his drink down as fast as he can. And Jake… Is being Jake. 

His mood has been absolutely horrible. All because you chose to have fun. How rude of you.

“Hey,” You poke at him, “You don’t need to be like this right now. You have so much to celebrate!” 

“Oh yeah, let me celebrate that my girlfriend wants to be around everyone here but me.” He growls under a low breath. 

“Jake,” You comfort, “I came here for you, I’m excited for you.” 

“No.” Jake raises himself, and turns his head, angling towards you, “I do believe Josh, is the one that invited you. And if I’m not mistaken, you two were the ones dancing during my solo. Oh and also, it wasn’t you that came to see me after I finished up, it was the drunk old bar manager.” 

“Jake…” This time it isn’t you trying to calm him down, it’s Josh. He’s protecting you. 

“Fuck you Josh, you do this shit on purpose, trying to piss me off.” 

The tension is starting between the two, and you’re quite sure those heavy sips weren’t helping the situation at all. 

“Hey! Need I remind you, who was the one who-”

“Shut up.” 

You glance your head between the two of them, confused. Jake drops his head and turns away from Josh. Josh swirls the ice around in his cup, trying to avoid eye contact with you. 

“Josh…” You pry, “What did you do?” 

“Don’t,” Jake interjects, trying to hold off Josh. 

What the hell was going on? What sort of fucked up twin telepathy was happening. 

“No, no,” You scold, “Maybe I should ask what the fuck you did Jake? Huh?” 

Sam slowly tries to crawl out of the booth, avoiding whatever is about to go down. 

Josh crosses his arm, trying to yield to Jake, “He did nothing.” 

“Okay?” Your voice is shaky, trying to understand if this even involved you. This drunk version of you was trying any way to find out more. “Clearly someone did something.” 

Jake lifts his head, staring down Josh, almost pleading with his eyes to keep quiet. 

“Josh…”

You turn yourself to block Jake’s eyeline, lining yourself up with Josh. 

“Is it about me?” You ask, imploring. Hoping that his answer would be no. 

Josh sighs and drops his arms, bracing himself on either side of his legs. He takes a long breath. 

His silence confirms it all for you. 

Jake echoes in your ear, “Don’t worry about it.”

You scowl back to Jake, “No more hiding shit Jake.” 

He reaches his hand up to his mouth, trying to find the right words to say. Before he even has a chance, Josh lets it spill out. 

“Jake wasn’t going to go back to you.” 

He could have stabbed you in that moment and the feeling would have been the same. 

“Fuck! Josh!” Jake yelps. 

Your heart drops. Jake fighting him is proof enough that what Josh said was true. You turn to Jake, tears welling in your eyes. 

“What…” You push Jake’s shoulder, “the fuck,” another push, “does that mean?”

You feel your whole body shaking with anxiety. The alcohol is climbing up your throat; tears starting to fall from your eyes. 

Josh grabs your hand, trying to prevent you from hitting Jake any further. 

“Mama, listen. He just didn’t think you wanted him anymore. I went over to talk to him about it and told him he should try again.” 

You turn to snap at Josh but feel horrible even thinking about being mean to him. He was honest with you, trying to help. 

“So, but…” You feel absolutely defeated, “So if you hadn’t said anything he wouldn’t have…?”

Jake turns completely away from the two of you, dropping his head into his hands, trying to breathe through it. 

“You fucking ruin everything, Josh. You always get to be the sun. You always get to save the day.” 

You turn to Jake, cautious to defend Josh, “Jake you need to tell me what happened.” 

Jake doesn’t turn back to you. Josh tries to grab your hand one last time, silently asking you to go easy on Jake. 

“Why wouldn’t you come back?” Your voice is breaking completely now. The rush of emotions is piling through you, breaking your heart all over again. 

Knowing he didn’t want to come back felt like it was all your fault. You were the one who turned him away before knowing the entire story. But also, you had a right to be upset. The juxtaposition of it all was fucking with you. Who was right? 

Jake is still silent, holding himself up in his palms. You turn back to Josh, begging for any sort of help. His hands rest on his cheeks, realization setting in of what he did. He went too far. Twins weren’t meant to be this damaging to each other. The public tension of it all was awkward, pushing each other too far. 

“What’d I miss!” Danny perkily walks over to the table, holding everyone’s choice of drinks. Sam’s trying to hide behind him, knowing what situation he left. 

You pout through the tears, showing Danny that he didn’t miss anything too good. 

You rise from your seat, standing on the wooden bench, climbing over Josh to leave the booth. You pat the two best friends on the shoulder, apologizing through silent chokes of your tears. 

Sam gingerly hands you your next round, placing the glass in your hand, and patting your knuckles. You awkwardly smile back at him, thanking him for the drink. 

You take a hefty swig and place the remainder of the drink in front of Jake, “Here… Unlike you, I don’t like putting good things to waste.”

The boys all wince through their teeth, and Jake jolts up to scowl at the boys. 

You secretly run past the booth and into the dark bathroom in the back of the bar. 

The shift is by no means easy. The two of you are in the worst rhythm you’ve ever had. Even on your first shift together, it was like magic. You could almost sense each other coming, you were good at trading off tasks. Tonight…. Was not that. 

Jake screwed up three orders, and you took two more drinks to the chest. Each time exclaims were made between the both of you, and patrons took it upon themselves to call out. The understanding for your bodies that you had just hours earlier was completely gone, completely out of sync. 

Usually, it would just be you struggling with your own thoughts, but you could tell the weight of the situation was sitting heavy on Jake. You had left things in a horrible, but justified place. You didn’t exactly feel bad for what you said, because, well it was the truth. So what Jake had to give up a booty call? You were the one that got the shit end of the stick every time. 

The bathroom was full of women. They were all slightly older than you, and mostly concerned with their friends who were far too drunk, or paying attention to how their makeup was holding up. 

You snuck through them, trying to find the one empty stall. You closed the door behind you and quickly locked it, stowing yourself away. The echoes of their voices melted with the loud music vibrating on the walls. 

Fuck.

What the hell? 

He couldn’t even look at you. 

He couldn’t even admit it. 

Why wouldn’t he come back? 

Well… You did kind of end that last night on bad terms. During that entire week, you wanted to run back to him; but you didn’t. He just needed a push. But what if he never got that push? What if he never showed up to tell you what actually happened… 

He never even tried to explain himself at the bar. He just kept trying to get you going. He can’t admit when he’s wrong. Does he have to be persuaded into being nice? Not entirely. Not all the time… 

Chris is about ready to lock up. He does his usual survey of all the surfaces, walking laps around each table, around the counters, really just pretending to look at everything. There really weren’t any expectations for the cleanliness of each table. He was actually just waiting for one of us to say something to him. For one of us to have decided. 

It was the stupidest fucking rule known to man. It’s a bar. People are bound to start fucking each other. Thats life. 

Jake and you had not broached the subject any further. There was no time and no further discussion to be had yet. It was the worst decision for either of you to make. It was utterly ridiculous. You didn’t expect Jake to give up his job either and almost started to believe that this was some sort of ending.

You tried not to think about it too much. Tried not to let that reality set in until you knew it for a fact. 

One last swipe of the counter, and you had completely cleaned up. Jake on the other hand was sweeping the floors, trying not to clean up in the same area. You try your hardest not to keep staring at him, but you want so badly for him to look at you. You want to figure this out… together. 

He places the large broom at the corner of the bar and strides over to Chris. You’re watching it play out in front of your eyes like a movie. You pretend to be distracted at the POS, but sneaking glances over your shoulder. 

Chris runs his hand over Jake’s shoulder and gives him a firm shake. Jake drops his head and nods. Reaching up to pat Chris’ hand. And just like that it’s over. 

What… What happened? 

Jake strides out of the bar, avoiding your eye contact, and slowly disappearing into the hallway. 

Oh, what the fuck? 

This is it. This is the end. Jake is giving you up. This wouldn’t be a romance novel. He wouldn’t run to you and lift you up, he wasn’t going to kiss you like no one was watching. He was just going to walk away, again. 

You throw your hands up, staring down Chris, trying to emulate ‘what the fuck’ with your body language. 

Chris mopes over to the counter, dragging out the moment as long as possible. He plops himself down on the stool in front of you, clasping his hands on the bar. 

“Go home. See you on Monday this week, kid.” 

So wait… He just… 

“Wait… What the fuck just happened?” You’re completely flustered, almost not believing what this means. 

“Jake quit. Go home. Talk to him.” 

TAGLIST (ILY GUYS!!!) Sorry if I missed anyone!

@gvfmarge @takenbythemadness @heckingfrick @gvfpal @sanguinebats @giraffehippy @anythingforjtk @lipstickitty @pinkandsleepy1934 @gretavansara @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @jakekiszkasbuttsweat @milkgemini @violet-hayes

[ohwhataniight]

The Good that won't Come Out - a trans Sherlock fic - Part 2

This is the second part of my shamelessly self indulgent trans!lock fic.

Contains descriptions of transition, top surgery, coming out.

Click here for Part 1

for @gaylilsherlock and their trope suggestion "wound dressing"

I do this thing where I think I'm real sick

But I won't go to the doctor to find out about it'

Cause they make you stay real still in a real small space

As they chart up your insides and put them on display

They'd see all of it, all of me, all of it

All of the good that won't come out of meAnd all the stupid lies I hide behindIt's such a big mistakeLying here in your warm embrace

Oh, you're almost home

I've been waiting for you to come in

Dancing around in your old suits

Going crazy in your room again

I think I'll go out and embarrass myself

By getting drunk and falling down in the street

You say I choose sadness

That it never once has chosen me

Maybe you're right

The Good that Won't Come Out – Rilo Kiley

You need to come home at once. - SH

It is urgent. -SH

I require medical assistance. - SH

I curse lightly under my breath, throwing myself up from the couch in the middle of the movie. I was never a Star Wars fan but I agreed to this marathon for Vicky’s sake. We’re halfway through the first film and I’m already letting her down. Again. For Sherlock. Who has never in the past allowed me to take care of him when he needs a doctor. Now he's the one asking for me. This must be bad.

“Emergency at home. I’m sorry, I’ve gotta go, Sherlock needs me,” I tell her as she looks at me dumbfounded. I stumble down the stairs and hail a cab to 221B, my mind racing over the most horrible scenarios - strangulation, explosions, head trauma - hell, he might have given himself third degree burns from spaghetti water, for all I know. He does that thing where he tries to cook sometimes, and I’ve got to deal with the casualties.

I rush up the stairs with my heart catching on my throat and burst through the half-opened door, only to find him sitting on the couch cross-legged, his shoes off, no nightgown, with a gash on his white shirt that’s sticking with half-dried blood. I grab my medical kit from the coffee table by the door and stand before him, trying to catch my breath. My leg is burning, so are my lungs. “Up. Kitchen. You know the drill,” I eventually manage to command him, and he obliges, standing up and following me to the other room.

I turn on the light in the kitchen. I place my bag on the corner of the table, next to a china bowl full of human toes. A feeling very much like fury is also starting to burn in my chest. Of course he went along and got himself into trouble without him despite me very explicitly asking him not to do so. Of course he didn’t get his own ass to the ER and called me here, ruining yet another date. So selfish, that man and his blood.

He’s already unbuttoning his own shirt as I lay down the saline and the gauze before leaning over him to help him as he winces in pain when the bloodied fabric sticks to his skin. “You did it again, didn’t you?” I huff. “Putting yourself in danger right after I asked you to behave, for one night, just one night, Sherlock.” I help him remove his shirt and lean over him to closely inspect the wound. “May I ask what you were up to?”

“I was merely doing my duty as a law-abiding civilian, helping out a fellow human being whose future was about to be tainted by blackmail. You know I despise foul play,” he says, but there’s something missing - both his usual nonchalance and his alternative bouts of histrionics. He is dead serious, pensive, even. I feel him cold and rigid under my gloved hands, growing more distant by the minute. “Besides, it is but a scratch, as you can observe yourself.”

“Indeed, it is quite superficial,” I say as I quickly inspect the skin over his ribcage and assess the damage. He shudders under my fingers, short hair on his chest sticking out, skin pale with goosebumps. “You’re lucky. May I ask how you got it?”

“Climbing off of some railings,” he complies dutifully.

“You’ll need a tetanus shot. Christ, Sherlock,” I sigh, as I turn around to grab everything I need to disinfect the gash.

“Never call me a girl again, John.”

I look up at him in utter disbelief, wondering if I’ve misheard. His silver blue eyes pull me in like a vacuum under the transparent light of the kitchen. His Adam's apple bobs as he swallows. He looks disorganized, ruffled hair, shaking hands and all. He also looks... is that angry? - hesitant?

“Sorry, what now?” I momentarily stop the process of taking care of his wound to register what he is telling me.

“Earlier this evening, at Scotland Yard, you called Gale and myself girls during one of your frequent bouts of sarcasm. It's something that you've done again the past. I am asking that you never repeat that. It is imperative.”

“What... what is this about?” I ask, feeling a wave of defensiveness rush over me. “Were you offended?”

“Yes, I was.”

I’m staring at half-naked Sherlock Holmes with my mouth agape. “We are not in the Victorian era, Sherlock. People have long ago stopped considering the term “girls” as a derogatory one.”

“The implications of what you said were derogatory.”

“I... no. You know what? We’re not doing this. I have to dress your wound, and if one of us needs to work on his misogyny, that’s you, not me. I see how you talk to Donovan, you know. Impertinent.”

Now he looks positively pissed off. His eyes are sparkling dangerously, the muscles and tendons on his neck and shoulders have tightened, his hands are clenched into fists. Is he going to fight me? “I am not. A girl.”

“That’s fairly obvious, Sherlock. What I did is called a joke.”

“Never make that joke again.”

“O-okay. Now will you let me do the thing you called me here for or should I let you bleed out on the carpet?” That man is driving me insane. I should be the one who’s angry after tonight’s fiasco, and here I am, apologizing to one of the rudest, most offensive men I know for having pulled innocent fun at his masculinity a couple of times.

“I am not going to bleed out, John, and you know that better than I do. You agreed it’s just a scratch.” He winces as I return to him with the gauze, trying to clean the scratch that starts from his left side and reaches over the edge of his nipple as gently as I can.

“You’ve had much worse, it's true," I tell him, my previous annoyance returning in full force. “Can I ask what gave you the good sense to call me here for this... scratch, then?”

“I was worried about it,” he says, holding his breath as I open the hydrogen peroxide bottle. He hisses when I touch him again with the dreaded ointment. “I needed you to have a look at it”

I try to ignore the way the word needed finds me so helplessly receptive, how it immediately disarms me and calms me down. “I was on a date, Sherlock,” I say in a softened voice. “The ER at Bart’s is full of competent...”

“I don’t trust them with that.”

“What is that? Are you hurt anywhere else? What happened? Sherlock, talk to me.”

Sherlock grabs my wrist and pulls my hand that is holding some clean gauze away from him. “I am indeed planning to talk to you.”

“What are you doing - what do you mean, Sherlock?” I ask, feeling alarmed. His fingers remain tangled around my wrist, holding it up in the air and the dust that hovers between us. I wonder if he can feel the hammering of my pulse and I try to catch my breath. “I don’t understand what got you worried about this scratch. I’ll finish patching it up, give you a tetanus shot, and you’ll be right as rain.”

“I will be administering the injection myself, thank you very much.”

“What - no. What are you talking about? I don’t know what experiments you’ve made with needles in the past, and frankly I don’t need to know. I am a doctor...”

“And I am a chemist who has been giving himself injections on his own backside once a month for years.” He’s still holding my hand, and is not reaching out with his free hand and pulling my fingers open, placing the gauze back on the table.

“What are you talking about?”

“John, as always you look but do not observe.” And with that, he guides my hand back on his chest, guides my fingers to trace over his left nipple where I can see the pink, inflamed skin around the scratch that fades out just there. My fingertips lie brush over his areola, and I feel the ever so faint, hair-thin oread of scar tissue. I lean closer and his warm breathes on the nape of my neck makes me shudder. I suddenly realize I am inspecting the delicate craftsmanship of an incision. An identical one one his other nipple.

"What are these, Sherlock?"

I feel him inhale under my fingers. His gaze avoids mine. "My battle scars," he breathes out eventually, the hint of a smile appearing on his otherwise troubled face.

His battle scars.

“The keyhole technique, then,” I murmur, raising my eyes to quiz his for an explanation. “You're lucky, this is superficial and has not affected the incision but we'll have to keep an eye on it. Exquisitely performed, your surgeon must have been a true artist. Gynecomastia?” But then, had he not said something about injecting his backside once a month? “Oh.” Oh.

“Yes, oh.” He’s staring back at me with his expression now that of pure terror laced with anticipation. The brief smile has disappeared from his face and he looks as breathless as I am. “Took you long enough, John.”

To be continued

[bluegekk0]

my favorite pastime is imagining my blorbos playing minecraft. what kind of player would they be? what would they enjoy doing the most? idk what it is about minecraft but it can tell you so much about a person

fpk would primarily do redstone stuff. he's not very good at combat or exploring, he's a bit slow and his small hands don't mesh well with a keyboard, and he doesn't have the artistic creativity for building. but with redstone? he could build insane farms, or advanced mechanisms, he'd be the mf to spend all night making a working redstone computer within the game

grimm complements fpk's redstone skills insanely well. he has the eye for aesthetic and enjoys decorating fpk's base to make it look prettier. all those crazy mechanisms fpk builds? grimm will create the most impressive looking outer shell to make it more pleasing to look at. will always offer to decorate your house, and spends most of his time making the area around everyone's base look good

hornet is an explorer, she's the one lagging the server by loading hundreds of chunks every time she's on. she doesn't need a map to find specific locations, she memorizes where they are and can easily track them again after returning home. she would also be pretty good at combat, though her lack of patience means she often dies in very stupid ways. also, she loves bullying zote. asks fpk for redstone trap advice just so she can build a tnt trap under zote's house

holly almost exclusively makes cute little farms for animals and spends their time fishing. they stay away from combat (though they're surprisingly good at it) and instead choose relaxing activities. if anyone builds a strip mine, you'll often find them mining in peace. whenever anyone needs a lot of cave resources, or wool, or a shit ton of wheat and potatoes, holly is the one who has it all, and they will always let you take all of it

zote kind of sucks at everything, but, of course, pretends otherwise. he will challenge hornet to combat (loses), he will try to fight the zombies that surround his house (dies to a random creeper) and he will go mining for diamonds (drowns in lava). if the server had a death counter, he would be at the top, and of course would boast about it. whenever he's not attempting to fuck over hornet's house, he chills at holly's farm, and he will accidentally let all of their sheep out of their pen

lewk is still very young at this point in the au lore, so he mostly just watches either of his dads play. after getting his own account, he would just run around and check what the others are doing, offering to help them around (even if he doesn't really know what he's doing or how all of it works. he is a baby after all). he would particularly enjoy joining hornet on her adventures, and every time he dies, hornet teleports him back to her, despite being against using cheats. he also gets free stuff from her that she gave him using commands. their little secret. how did that baby get a fully enchanted netherite sword? clearly he's just that good

i know this is a bit random but i just felt like talking about the blorbos. your honor, i love them. they are everything to me ❤️

[grimxark]

I don't have any specific prompts BUT i love your takes on Roddy so if you just wanted to rant about anything... 👀👀👀👀

(about the asking about characters thing)

HMM HMM.

I’ve got a lot on my mind in regards to him. I have rewritten this response a total of 3 times with 3 different topics but my mind is foggy and I can never come up with the right words. I decided to leave it to morning because I was so sleepy tired

I think more people should explore the resentment Rodimus must feel towards Optimus in a deep personal level more often. Maybe I made it in my head but the events of dark cybertron with Rodimus so willingly and so happily letting Orion onto his ship, proudly showing off his crew and the Lost Light, all the cool things they can do. (I am entirely convinced he asked to meet a Swerve’s cuz he knew Swerve would go crazy with the idea of Optimus prime being in his bar) And Optimus Orion just seemingly not caring, Magnus asking if he came to the Lost Light to take over, then all that thing with Orion being like eer you should’ve resigned. You just asked for a vote cuz you knew you’d win. When that’s literally not really the case? At least I wouldn’t say so. Rodimus knew he screwed up bad and he wanted to give the people the right of choice with no strings attached. He’s impulsive sure and he said he’d act on kicking people out but then realized that was stupid and silly and did not go along.

Then after Rodimus quite literally helped him not once not twice but FOUR TIMES and provided HELP AND ANSWERS through his crew and his own self evaluation Optimus goes ahead and is like. I’m putting my nemesis who killed you and also severely wounded me serveral times and also nearly killed your second in command onboard your ship as a CAPTAIN. But to make you less mad about it I’m going to wait until Ratchet tells you and I’ll call him co-captain so you’re not so mad and because I think you’re stupid enough to believe that’s a position that exists.

All the while Rodimus has looked up to this fucking guy ever since Nyon and even saw him as an equal even AFTER bonding with the matrix and thought they were similar or at least in the same wavelength but Optimus is a fucking !!! BITCH

[nimata-beroya]

MY THOUGHTS ON TBB 2×12 "The Outpost"

I don't know how I'm going to articulate all the thoughts I have about this episode because my mind is still reeling. But I'll do my best. I absolutely ADORED it!! I think it became my favorite ever (despite all the emotional damage that inflicted on me). It's very satisfying regarding Crosshair's storyline, and DBB was right to consider it the best.

I love all the symbolism and parallels to previous episode, but it terrifies what will come next. But I'll talk about that later. Let's start at the beginning…

There he is, my poor baby!!! I just want to hug him!!

I knew it was happening, but watching these clones getting forcibly retired is sickening. Much more with that bored and patronizing tone of that imperial officer.

Oh! So, this is the lieutenant. Nolan, ugh! I hate him already. And HOW DARE HE TO CALL CLONES USED EQUIPMENT??!!! 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

Hehe! I like that some things never change. I'm talking about Crosshair napping during the flight. It's something he did in the unfinished TCW arcs. It's nice that they used it here.

OOOOHHH!! New clone!! I love him already, and his beard is the best!!!! Oh, a Commander? Commander what?!

Hey!! Why are those names familiar? Are they familiar? [Later google search came back with nothing, which means they're new, but call me crazy, but I think I heard those names before]

OMG! I love this commander so much!!!!! Roast that lieutenant!!!

lol Crosshair's grunt when the commander says he knows the lieutenant 2 hours too long. That's my boy!!!!

Mayday! Mayday, will you marry me? 😍😍😍

Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Cross hesitated, but he gave his name and not his number!! 🥺🥺🥺

Ouch!!! Poor baby, his eyes! But even so, he makes the shot 😍

Oh, they aren't dead yet, and went inside the cave.

UGH!! you can't even give them a second to mourn!?! Please tell me that this lieutenant will die in this episode. Pretty please?!

oh, so he didn't get too far.

Cross, baby, I adore you, but you're a bit hypocritical, don't you think? You're perfectly fine with anyone else leaving their own behind when circumstances call for it, but when it comes to your bothers and you, it's a whole different tune you sing. just sayin'

"Remind me not to die on your watch" 💀

NOOOO!!! no no no no no!! don't tell me he stepped on a... yep he did 😖😖😖 Cross, my darling, I very much want you to survive this season. STOP STEPPING ON LANDMINES!!! TYVM!

I knew there was a reason why I love you so much, Mayday. Keep throwing Crosshair's words back at him. He deserves it. And also, deactivate that bomb please, now!!

It makes me sick, all the abuse and neglect that the Empire has for the clones. It's just heartbreaking 💔💔

😭😭😭 Crosshair reluctant to talk about CF99

Crosshair!! Don't provoke an avalanche, please.

Stormtrooper armor?! That's it? I should've known that it was something as stupid as this 🙄

I told you!!! AAAAAAHHHHH RUUUUNN!!!! No no no nono !!! Crosshair!!! Mayday, noooooo!!!

😭😭😭😭😭 My baby carrying Mayday!! See, this is the golden heart I knew you always had and that so many people denied it. You're all bark but not bite. You're the softest softie ever!! 😭😭😭😭🥰 They're huddling for warmth 😭😭😭😭😭

😭😭😭 The desperation in Crosshair's voice pleading the Lieutenant for help for Mayday 😭😭😭😭😭

WHY?!!! Why Mayday had to die? NOOO!! 😭😭😭😭😭

And FUCK YOU!! Lieutenant!! You deserve the slowest and most painful death 🤬🤬

As painful as it's to hear this, Crosshair needed someone to spell it out for him, loud and clear, to make him experience this, leaving no room for excuses or interpretation, of how little the Empire values the clones. My heart bleeds for him, but it was necessary to push him over the edge.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT'S MY BOY!!!!! This is so satisfying!! Gawd! Thank you baby for killing that karking idiot!! Now, kill the rest and go back to your brothers, c'mon!

No! wait! no no no don't pass out no no no!! AAAAAAAAHHHH!!

no!! You cannot leave it there!!!! NOOO!! wait! What?

OH FUCK!! OH FUCK!! OH FUCK!! OH FUCK!! NO NO NO NO NO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! nooo NO NO NO NOO!!!

Final thoughts

This episode was full of call back, parallels and foreshadowing in a way that previous episodes have not.

Let's start with the poetry of Crosshair changing sides on a snow/ice planets. First on Kaller, and now here.

Crosshair watching the ice vultures, probably remembering what Mayday told him earlier about those things finding a way to survive before shooting Nolan.

And of course, Crosshair carrying injured Mayday back to camp instead of "not bothering to carry deadweight" as he said a few times before, not just in this episode. Mayday's comment of not wanting to die on Crosshair's watch is funny the first time you watch the episode, but it takes a whole new weight by the end of it.

I'm sure there are one or two more I'm missing, and I'll remember later, but you get the idea.

And I'm TERRIFIED, like shitting on my pants scared, of what will happen in the next 4 episodes!! I'm not sure if I'll survive the waiting.

ADDITIONAL NOTE: if you haven't heard, I'm hosting The Bad Batch Appreciation Week this year, and we're on the prompt voting phase. If you're interested in participating/voting, check the link below.

[patchworkheartouija]

M****************** Minion Marketplace: Fucked up robot things one of my exes made

(So I wrote up an OC thing, slime CEO fucker I’ve drawn before. Honestly I could have them be talking about anything and they’d still be fun to write. May make this minion marketplace thing a series, may also make this a comic. However currently I’m working on drawing up a big comic, it’s my first one ever and it seems to be going well.)

“So you’re thinking of becoming a super villain? Yeah you’re not fooling anybody “for the good of mankind” folks if you’re on my site you know what you’re getting into. My name is Delmonico, that’s right, Isabella Larcroft, don’t ware it out. Just kidding by the way, neither of those are my name, I’m not that stupid.

So anyway I’m known for being the biggest, (in every imaginable way) businessperson in the abyss, and recently I’ve opened up a new market! Evil minions! See I don’t have my own I just put a little me in a corpse and badabing badaboom it’s under my control and I have the one ally I can trust as a minion, me. But some of you are fancy bitches. Also some of you aren’t Abyssfolk. So I figured you’d want minions!

Now, you. Yes you. You’re dumb soft and fucking stupid, and you are feeling overwhelmed with CHOICES! Wonderful choices! So I’m creating this video series to go over the pros and cons of every minion to help YOU match with the evil minion you’ve always been dreaming of!

The first minion on my agenda, if you read the title, is the fucked up robot thing. I call em Skinwalkers, they aren’t, and that’s not what they’re official name is, but listen, I stole them from my ex after he fucked off and died, I get to pick what I name the bloody things.

Ok, so what are they? Skinwalkers are small, lightweight robots, with advanced AIs that mimic real people to a degree but with the ability to mute them if they get too fucking annoying and scream and cry everywhere. Those tears are oil, they stain.

Skinwalkers come in two varieties, big dick energy attack droids, and pathetic and useless service bots. I currently produce both.

BDEADs are PERFECT for your lone assassin, or even mass swarming foot soldiers. They never complain and if they do you can shut them up, they obey any order, they learn, they blend in as human, and they are ARMED. The cons of these is if you ask for them to bring you a nice cup of tea they will make the WORST cup you’ve ever fucking had oh my god like are you fucking stupid? Yeah they are GREAT at fighting and adapting to challenges but getting shit done? Pffft. Get a roomba to clean your house not one of these fucks.

Now, variety too, the roomba in question, aka the useless service bot/USB, Hah acronym is something that exists funny haha. Anyway. USBs are USELESS in a fight, give them a gun and they will somehow manage to shoot themselves. However for personal use as servants, god they’re… good? I dunno they cry a lot when you yell at them and I prefer my help having a spine. Good at the actual job though.

Both these droids are good, one for your wars, the other for your wardrobe, though I can see most of you would be leaning towards the latter, some of you appreciate the finer points of villainy. A villain should be sheik, attractive, sexy, me, not living in a gutter, ugly, bland, everyone else. Be me. Not you. Have a whole staff of minions to do boring shit for you.

Now, finer details. Will they rise up and betray you. For once I’m not lying when I say fuck no. These things HAVE to obey your every command! It’s almost funny. In fact, it is! It’s hilarious! My ex used to quality test each one he made. But that’s expensive and stupid so I just mass produce them and ship them right to your doorstep.

Skinwalkers are covered in a layer of synthetic… skin. Ok who am I fucking kidding here it’s fucking real. They also contain human souls in gem form as a purifier, the humans don’t do shit by the way they’re dead. No hauntings. I may have been crazy to hook up with my ex but not that crazy. Anyway they blend in with humans so good spies.

I could make some that blend in with other species. But you’d have to special order AND supply the cadaver.

Now insurance. You get none and you don’t complain.

Price? All your limbs, not an arm and a leg, all of them. If you had 10 of each.

Do I accept returns? No, also don’t be a pussy.

Can you beat them up? Sure. Go wild.

Do they have a remote to make them explode like a nuke? Yes. Will you be receiving it in your box? Add another 15k to the receipt and sure, otherwise I’m keeping it.

They’re too small. Small but deadly my good sir or madam or better.

Mx Salesperson this seems sketchy. No.

Ok. Buy my shit. Goodbye.”

[martiriosfarm]

my eyes dead from 3 days xcel spreadsheet, but, entire time i was listening to cuba podcast. and the specialness of getting people to commit to your revolution, bc literally every centroamericano i talk to here, america hating is easy, but then also turning around and being like communism or socialism is what my country needs, nobody ive heard says that. everyone here reactionary as shit, or the way they treat women, white girls, thats just norvins people tho, literally their last names/blandon, etc might be the drug trafficker families, antisandinista, gary webb, etc. but like, the insanity of 60s, real strangelove like crazy fucking jsoc generals in a room pushing already anticommunist kennedy to invade cuba n trigger nuclear war, all those conversations he recorded w button under his desk, soviet submarine descends all the way down to wait and dont know if nuclear war is happening above and then 3 commanders almost launch nuclear bomb in carribean bc feel rumbles from depth charges or whtever and its 100 degrees inside sub everyone is losing it and think theyre being bombed. catholic church stealing kids again (like north america n hungary revolt they also did something), w us government spread rumors thru middle class cubans when fidel is planning to overhaul education system that theyre going to take your babies and send them to ussr. all of this on voice of america radio programs beamed from honduras, people listening freak out and some catholic bishop signs visa waivers n parents send their kids to u.s. instead bc scared, to foster homes n they dont come back. the strength it takes to keep committed to revolution whn you have to fight for your own peoples heads, bc they keep hearing bullshit from the u.s., when us keeps battering at you with stupid psyops for decades decades, che going to bolivia and getting captured, getting shot by drunk man w shaking hands who shoots 9 times. but craziest thing is, they said in 90s 2000s cia funded cuban rappers, n sent american rappers who came over, thankful for keeping assata, but also criticizing cuban gov, and they said el aldeano!!! who i heard adrian listening to n liked and listened to it myself, received cia money lfdkdfn bc stupid contra govt messages. and then when that news came out in like 2008, they broke up, but individually still going. but fucking insane,,,i wanna read about it, might not even be that they’re controlling their message, but just that got overamplified bc good rappers n got money. n i was thinking i bet they funded ovi too..they wouldnt have to theres enough people who think that way..but its literally political education oh my gdd like without that everything falls apart. bc the way random people, millions billions of people r affected by american psyops? just in something like music they listen to? crazy. i tried to tell juan but got sidetracked which is ok bc what he has to tell me is also always amazing. stories i get to hear.

[irastayshome]

Change requires courage, but not changing doesn't signify the lack of it. There are reasons beyond what my own thoughts can rationalise as to why I can't bring myself to hire a maid.. or continue in this job.. or move in with my parents.. or finally admit I am now single and behave like it.

A book I've been trying to read - keyword 'trying' because my mind can't seem to focus on anything cognitive for long these days - had a profound perspective. The unconscious mind has wisdom far beyond what the conscious mind dictates. If I were to give voice to some of these wisdom, it would sound so odd and misplaced, maybe even stupid. Like if I were to say that I do not wish to hire a maid to solve the daily struggle I have in getting enough sleep before going to work the next day because I was up doing dishes and laundry.. and justify it by my assertion that this space, confined by the walls that witnessed his decline and his demise and our arguments and our reconciliations and all the quiet moments that could easily be lost and swept away in memory.. it is sacred.

I know we do not bring anything or anyone to the ground with us when it is our time. To Him we belong and to Him we return. But allowing a stranger to step in, clean the mess and carnage left behind, someone who has no idea the significance of every receipt or broken household item or anything else one might sensibly decide to throw away without question.. it is too risky. We are still in a bubble.. where the slightest curve in the breeze makes us all unhinged and anxious about when it will all pop. When he will fully be gone from our lives.. when we will finally be forced to move on, even if we aren't ready to let go. How else would I explain all that sensibly, other than how I just did? It sounds like big allegories that may seem empty, but it really isn't.. not for me. Its even more concrete and real to me than a simple "a maid would solve all your sleep and caregiving struggles". The unconscious mind has a far more powerful effect on the will than the conscious mind. Its wisdom commands more respect than most of us are willing to give.

The job.. it's just a job honestly. Its for bills, and for escape, and for some semblance of achievement to keep me from spiraling into despair. But if I'm being truly honest, it's also to fight the loneliness I feel deep in my core. Not the kinda loneliness that makes me wake up heart racing after dreaming about being kissed so passionately and embraced so intensely that it broke my heart a little when I literally woke to reality - though this kind of loneliness I must admit is getting a little too much for comfort. The loneliness I feel deep down is not having anyone to hear what I feel about the genocide in Palestine, or about the political satire in PAP lately, or about my worries for AI taking over, or what I honestly feel about my 6 Yr old falling "in love" with his classmate. Its having a mate.. to laugh with, to muse with, to watch things you don't wanna watch alone with. Someone who just gets you, and accepts you wholly, and calls you out when necessary because they want you to win.. while they're right beside you.

So, in that manner, no. This job does not fight off this loneliness. It drains my bank accounts even more because my impaired mind keeps making lots of financial and ethical blunders, costing us so much more than if I were just unemployed. In terms of achievement and helping the less fortunate, nothing feels satisfying when your own house is on fire and you're not able to save your own family first. That's just how it is for me. Those boys are more important than anything else in the world now, and I'm completely replaceable at work, but not at home.

Sigh. Who are these musings even for. Are you reading this yang, somehow? You've always hated long texts from me.. why would you start liking it now right.. I really do feel like I'm going crazy sometimes.

[yu3s]

* me after naming the vessel i made “VESSEL” because that’s what i thought i was supposed to do after being told to create and name a vessel and then watching them get discarded: now that was a lot of damage...

[miioouu]

NSFW: Reader x Aizawa airplane sex? ( Private plane and there is no one else).

Ok i merged these two together cause they just fiiiit ok susnsjb!! Thank you for thirsting with me!! ❤️💜❤️

Warning:smut...

      There's a lot of cons from being a pro hero, the danger, the chaos, the doubt, the staying far away from your loved ones, the possibility of never seeing them again... Honestly there's too many to count. But there's also a lot of benefits, the fame, the love, the money, the luxury.... And as the partner of a pro hero, you were going to enjoys those pluses for sure.

      There's a reason why Aizawa always travel in private jets when he's going in a vacation with you. Because for him, true relaxation starts the moment he steps foot in that plane. And what a better way to relax than to have his pretty angel riding him. Your lips vibrant red as they parted in small whimpers, soft begs. Your eyelids squeezed shut as your hand holding onto his shoulders for better stability as you bounced up and down his length. He was obviously enjoying the view, a smirk on his face, his arms folded behind his head as his tongue peaked to wet his lips before speaking out "Missed feeling you my kitten. Missed this so much. Do you too? Yeah? Come on then show me just how much you miss it." His voice stern and commanding, casting a spell on you, because it's all it took for you to cum for the first time.

      There's also a reason why Aizawa liked to travel really far when he's going on a vacation with you. It only means more time to fold you in half and driving you crazy. His hands holding your legs open, your knees on either side of your head as his eyes zeroed on your pretty, glistening folds. With one push of his hips, he shed himself completely into your warm walls, the exact same walls that's clenching so hard around him, sucking him in and making it a tad difficult for him to fuck you properly. But he had his ways, he always did. One of his hand leaving your thigh, letting your leg rest on his shoulder, as his fingers slid south, pointer and ring digits parting your lips as the middle one drew small circles on your clit. The soft action got you arching your back into him, your chest knocking with his and your nipples rubbing against his. The action made him hum, the way you finally relaxed around him got him happy, he can finally pull out, just enough to have the very tip still in your warmth, before he slammed back in. He kept repeating thr movement again and again, only making you ever so crazy. The tip keeps kissing your cervix on and on. "Come on my little kitten, do you want me to fill you up? Yeah do you want me to?" His intense glare was too much for you, your eyes tearing, your mind hazy but you still managed to confirm with an eager nod and the lowest yes. But it was all he asked for, your eagerness and your stupid fucked out answers.

     The way your nails dug deeper into his shoulders, and the way your eyes crossed, and the way you kept chanting his name over and over again like a mantra as you reached your high was what made his hips thrust frantically, stilling so deeply inside you as he shot ropes of cum inside you. And just when you though he was done, his fingers found yout clit again, now rubbing it in tight fast circle "Wai-Wait! Shou, too much! Too much!" But he couldn't hear your pathetic low voice, and even if he did, it's unlikely for him to stop, he's never done if your juices aren't tainting all the place. Because what's the use of having your own plane if you're not going to ruin it?

[xoxo-teddybear]

You Have Me - Bakugou Katsuki

Dad!Bakugou x Babysitter!reader

Warnings: Dad!Bakugou, Fingering, 18+, Cursing, pining, cheating, daddy kink (cuz duh)

Request: Dad Bakugou in love with his babysitter. She’s younger than him but still over legal drinking age and Bakugou is not too old. I just wanna see how he’d go about this whole situation ESPECIALLY if he was already married.

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

“F-Faster Katsuki!” You said as Bakugou pounded into you on the kitchen island.

“Shit baby...fuck, you like that shit? Like how daddy fucks your sweet cunt?” He teased as he hit your cervix. “You gonna give me another brat? Huh? C’mon Teddy Bear I know you can do it~”

His hand traveled to your clit as he toyed with your pretty pussy. Your legs shook as he worked his magic and you clenched around his cock.

“Ohh~ ‘M gonna cum!” You cried out. Your hands clawed at Katsuki’s back as he sucked his teeth in due to the stimulating pleasure.

“Do it. Cream all over my cock baby.” You obeyed his every command as you did what you were told and spilled all over him. Your orgasm didn’t stop him as he continued to ram into you. He sped up as he chased his own release and threw his head back.

“F-Fuck! Fuck baby,” he leaned down close to your face as he used his hand to grab your chin. “I love you. You fuckin’ understand me?” He said and brought a smack to your ass. “I love you Y/N.”

His voice grew whiny as his thrust became sloppy. You both were a moaning mess until Katsuki met his climax and filled you with his release. Right as he came, his lips met yours for a rough and passionate kiss that you both desperately moaned into. He continued to slowly thrust into you to push his cum deeper inside your womb as you tugged at his hair. Your lips finally separated as Katsuki stopped his thrusts. He rested his forehead against yours as you both held heavy breaths. He grinned at your dazed eyes and grew excited. He was sure he done enough to get you pregnant. He saw your soft, angelic features and listened carefully as you began to speak.

“Katsuki...it’s time to wake up.” You said with a smile.

“Huh?” Bakugou said in confusion as he lifted his face away from yours. You sat up and shoved his shoulder as your voice began to fade out.

“Wake up! ....Wake up Katsuki. Katsuki! ....Katsuki!”

—

“Katsuki! Wake up!”

The 25 year old man had his eyes shot open as he flinched the slightest bit. He awoke to his bitch of a wife smacking his upper body to get him to come to.

“Ugh, the hell do you want?” He groaned as he layed back down in bed.

“I want you to get out of bed! We’re supposed to be going to Aki’s party today! You owe me since you didn’t want to buy me those heels!” She complained. Bakugou rolled his eyes at the gold digger and shooed her away with his hand.

“Go by your damn self. I have a meeting today. I’m not going to one of your shitty friend’s stupid ass parties. And also, I don’t owe you shit. I’m not dropping three grand on a pair of heels for some bitch.” He said with his eyes still shut. He heard his wife gasp at his insults and he could already imagine her dropped jaw.

“Excuse me, but I’m not some bitch. I’m your wife-“

“Who’s a bitch.” Bakugou interrupted. He opened his piercing, crimson eyes as he watched her tilt her head to the ceiling and crossed her arms.

“Hmph! Fine then! I’ll go by myself!” She said and marched out the room and out the house. Bakugou groaned as he rolled onto his back and threw his arms over his eyes.

“Good. That’s what I wanted. Stupid bitch.” He said to no one in particular. He sighed as he held on to the memory of the sweet dream he was having before his wife had interrupted. The sweet dream of him completely indulging himself in Y/N L/N, his son’s babysitter.

Was it wrong for him to have these thoughts about Y/N while being married? Yes. But did Bakugou care? Not at all. He was so drawn to Y/N it was like love at first sight for him. Besides, he didn’t love his wife anyway. They dated for a year and the whole time, Bakugou completely hated it. Truthfully, Bakugou dated her for her looks and the sweet facade she put up, but when her true self came through, Bakugou knew he was done with her. Unfortunately, before he had the chance to break up with her, his son Katsuo, was conceived. So when the news of her pregnancy became known to him, the toxic couple decided to tie the knot and get married. What a poor decision.

Bakugou decided enough time had been spent in bed and so he got up and got ready. Once he was fresh and clean he checked the time and saw it was 8:30. He made breakfast and prepped the table. Once he was done, he walked to his son’s room to wake up the little guy.

Katsuo Bakugou. Katsuki’s precious son. Even though he wasn’t planned, Katsuki loved his dear boy regardless. It’s sad to say the same thing can’t be said with the boy’s mother. Leiko Hotashi, Katsuo’s mother, seemed to have no love for the child, or anyone other than herself and money. She complained the entire pregnancy, she didn’t smile at the first sight of him when he was born, and she didn’t bother to be around the little guy either. Katsuo basically grew up without a mother’s love but he turned out just fine because Katsuki’s love was more than enough. The constant absence of his mother didn’t bother him and the child didn’t seem to care whether she was around or not. It’s sad really, but what can you do?

Bakugou walked into the room and saw a tuff of blonde hair that resembled his own. He walked to his ‘mini me,’ and shook the 5 year old awake.

“Katsuo...wake up bud. C’mon.” Katsuki said in a surprisingly soft voice. He was greeted with a pair of red eyes that copied his own and he smiled down at his carbon copy. “C’mon bud, breakfast is ready.”

Katsuo sat up in bed and yawned as he rubbed one of his eyes with his tiny fist. Katsuki smiled at the cute sight. “G’morning dad!”

“Heh. Good morning bud now let’s. Go. We got a nice breakfast waiting for us,” Bakugou said as he picked up his son in his arms. Katsuo giggled in excitement as Katsuki walked down the stairs and went into the kitchen.

The two sat down at the island as they enjoyed their breakfast and Katsuki listened to his son babble on about nothing. It was a peaceful morning for the most part. Katsuki’s morning always consisted of his crazy wife being a nag but other than that, he enjoyed his mornings with his son.

“So, I have to go to work soon and Mom is gone, but Y/N is coming by in a bit to watch you.” Katsuki explained to the young boy who seemed to light up at the mention of your name.

“Y/N’s coming?! Yay!” The boy shouted. Katsuo loved you. You’ve been his babysitter for 2 years and you already had the child (and his father) wrapped around your finger. Without knowing it, you showered the boy in motherly love, something that he never really got to experience. As we already stated, Bakugou felt drawn to you as if it was love at first sight, but seeing the way you interacted with his son just sealed the deal for him.

The two continued their meal and when they were done, Katsuki had the child wash up and get ready for your arrival. He cleaned up in the kitchen and by the time he was done, you knocked on the door. Bakugou felt his heart race at the knowledge of your presence and before he ran to the door, he stopped infront of a mirror to check himself. He fixed his hair and adjusted his clothes to fit more comfortably and then ran to the door. Before opening it, he placed his hand on the knob, took a breath, and then pulled the door open to be blessed with the sight of your beauty. “Y/N! Hi!”

“Heh, hey Katsuki.” You said as you stood at the door with a smile. You weren’t dumb. You always noticed how nervous Bakugou was whenever you were around. His crush was a little obvious to you and even though you felt something for the handsome hero, you never made any advances for the man. He was married and had a kid! There’s no way any sort of relationship was happening. Luckily, a very flirtatious friendship blossomed between you two and you grew so close that you both reached a first name basis.

Y/N L/N. A beautiful woman at the pretty age of 23. She was not only beauty, but she was brains, strength, and grace. She was a fierce and charming lady who had poison on her tongue but a fluffy heart of gold. The lot of you may be thinking that a 23 year old woman should be doing more than babysitting, but Y/N is still fairly young. And besides, babysitting was just a side gig. You had an actual career and owned your own dance studio but ever since you met the Bakugous, you just couldn’t give up on the little job.

“...Umm...Katsuki. Are you gonna keep staring or are you gonna let me in?” You said with a chuckle. Bakugou embarrassingly snapped out of his trance before speaking.

“Right! Uh, come in,” he said and stepped aside for you to enter. You nodded with a smile and walked into the large home, took a seat on the soft couch and you waited for Katsuo to come down. In the meantime, Katsuki always took the opportunity to make small talk with you.

“So..how’ve you been? It’s been awhile since you came over to watch Katsuo.” Katsuki said as he took a seat that was pretty close to you.

“Yeah, sorry about that. The studio’s just been pretty hectic with more clients coming in. Even before I came here, I dropped off some choreography for a heels class that I’m teaching tonight.” You said. The mention of your upcoming class made Katsuki a little excited. Your studio commonly filmed classes to post online for publicity and when Katsuki found videos of you dancing/teaching a heels class, he couldn’t help but constantly admire the view.

“Still coulda’ came by to at least say hi or something,” he said with a gruff but obvious sarcastic voice. “S’been forever since I- I mean since Katsuo saw you.”

“Relax dummy,” you said with a giggle as you playfully slapped his arm. “I’ve only been gone a week.”

Bakugou pretended to be in pain as he placed a hand over his chest, slumped in his seat, and scrunched his face. “Ouch. Don’t remind me. Like I said, it’s been forever.”

You both laughed at his little joke as he sat up straight again. You looked around the house and after seeing a few family pictures hanging, you decided to bring up another topic. “So..where’s the Mrs.?”

“Tch. She’s out at some random party.” He said as he stretched out his neck. You raised your brow and smirked at his answer.

“Oh? Is somebody upset he got left behind?” You teased which made Bakugou cackle a bit.

“Yeah right! Like I care about that nag. She could leave for an eternity and I wouldn’t care and neither would the kid. Besides, it’d just give me the opportunity to get a little closer to you.” He said as he leaned in a little closer and you did the same.

“Oh really?” You said with a smile.

“Really.” He replied back with a face that mimicked your own. Soon enough, his hand found a place on your inner thigh and gave it a squeeze. Your lips slightly separated with a tiny gasp and Bakugou definitely took notice of that. Things would’ve continued if it wasn’t for the sudden voice of a child.

“Y/N!” Katsuo said in excitement as he took notice of you on the couch. You and Bakugou jumped and quickly separated before the child could even get an idea of what was about to happen. You were quick to stand and greet the small boy as you crouched down to his level and gave him a hug.

“Hi Katsuo!” You said with your award winning smile. Katsuki watched from the couch as Katsuo went on and on about all the things he wanted to do today and the only thing that appeared in his head was a new family picture but with you in it instead of Leiko.

“Alright bud,” Bakugou said as he got up from the couch, walking to the two. “I gotta get to work but enjoy your day with Y/N, okay? And be good.” Bakugou said as he ruffled his boy’s blonde hair.

“I’m always good, dad!” The boy pouted as he swatted away his father’s hand. You laughed at their interaction and Bakugou chuckled before kissing the crown of his son’s head and walking to the front door.

“Bye Katsuo!” He said from the exit. You walked him to the exit and before he left he turned to you. He checked to make sure his son wasn’t watching before making his move. He grabbed your chin with his fingers to make you face him and softly spoke. “And I’ll see you later tonight, beautiful.”

You smiled and rolled your eyes at his compliment then said your thanks. You expected him to leave after that and so you tried to walk back to Katsuo but before you could, Katsuki pulled your wrist, grabbed your chin again, and pecked your cheek before exiting and slamming the door shut. You stood with a shocked expression as you felt blood rush to your cheeks.

Although you knew you felt something special for Katsuki, you knew he was married. And you weren’t no homewrecker! Even though some may see it as a harmless little peck on the cheek, you couldn’t help but feel guilty for his growing affections towards you. You sighed a bit before calming down and walking to the blonde boy waiting for you in the living room. You were going to enjoy your time with Katsuo but the return of his father stirred up a little confusion in your chest.

—

Hours passed. When you arrived it was 9:30 a.m. Now, it’s 10:00 p.m., and you expected Bakugou to be home soon. You didn’t really expect to see Leiko. Whenever Katsuki mentioned she was out partying, she never came back while you were around. It’s not that she was purposely avoiding you, she just tend to stay out into late hours of the night.

Katsuo was supposed to be in bed half an hour ago but his puppy eyes got the best of you and so you stayed up an extra hour to watch a quick movie with him. In the middle of the screening, he fell asleep on you and so you turned off the T.V and carried him to bed. After tucking him in, you walked away but felt a tug on your arm. Your turned to see Katsuo with sleepy eyes staring up at you. “Yes Katsuo?”

“Sing me to sleep again. Please Y/N,” the sweet boy asked. You smiled down at him and nodded. You took a seat on his bed side as you ran your fingers through his soft, spiked, blonde hair and sang.

As you sung Katsuo to sleep, you didn’t even notice the front door opening. Katsuki walked in feeling a little excited to see Y/N again but when he walked through the door he heard an angelic voice. He placed his bag down and followed the sound into his son’s room. Once he made it there, he stood in the doorway and listened to your voice and watched as you sung his child to sleep.

Your calming voice sent a blush to Katsuki’s face as he smiled and watched. Your voice was like honey. Smooth and sweet. The way you took care of Katsuo filled Katsuki with a type of happiness he never experienced before. He notice you ran your fingers through his son’s hair and Katsuki couldn’t help but feel a little envious of his own child.

“Don’t go away, stay another day~”

You finished the song and smiled as you saw Katsuo finally asleep. You leaned down and pecked his forehead before getting up to leave his room. As you looked towards the doorway, you jumped at the sight of Katsuki’s tall figure leaning against the frame.

“Katsuki, hey. I didn’t even realize you came home. How was work?” You asked. Your question made Katsuki smile, as it was similar to something a wife would ask her husband after a long day. It was something Katsuki never got to experience, even though he was already married. He smiled at you with kind eyes before tilting his head to signal you to follow him. You smiled softly and nodded as you followed Katsuki down the stairs.

—

For the past hour you and Katsuki had been laughing and talking. You followed Katsuki into the kitchen where he made you both some tea where you then both found seats in the living room. There, you talked some more and you both enjoyed the private company. Eventually, Katsuki grew bold and walked back into the kitchen and returned with a bottle of wine and two glasses.

“Heh, real smooth Romeo.” You teased and Bakugou chuckled as he rolled his eyes as sat down. You both picked up another conversation and eventually reached your second glass.

“Thanks for always taking care of Katsuo the way you do, Y/N.” Bakugou said with a slight blush. And it wasn’t just the alcohol causing it.

“What do you mean?” You asked, your face holding a similar blush for the same reasons. Safe to say you were both a little tipsy tonight. Not drunk but filled with a little liquid courage.

“I don’t know..like a mom?” His words caught your attention and your gaze encouraged him to continue. “Katsuo..doesn’t have the greatest mom in the world. I think everybody knows that. Honestly, if she wasn’t around at all, Katsuo wouldn’t even know the difference. But you? You’re like the mother he never got....the mother he should’ve got.”

You felt a growing heat flow in your face and you smiled at the sweet compliment. You can’t lie, sometimes you did see Katsuo as your son. You didn’t have kids but you always wanted some. Having Katsuo around was like having a son of your own. “Awe, thanks Katsuki.”

“You shouldn’t thank me, it’s just insane how you’re the actual definition of perfect.” He said before taking a sip of wine.

“Stop it,” you said and playfully hit his arm again. You both put your glasses down and he laughed a bit before continuing.

“No, I’m serious. I mean, c’mon you’re beautiful, smart, kind, sassy,” he began.

“Yeah..and,” you said as you both began to face each other.

“You’re great with kids, you’re good at everything, you have a steady career, you have a passion,” he continued.

“Mhmm..” you said while smiling at his words. You shuffled a little bit closer to him on the couch and Bakugou smiled when he noticed.

“...You’re perfect Y/N.” He focused his gaze on you as he became entranced with your E/C eyes. He leaned in close and you did the same. “...You’re the perfect one for me.”

At those words, you both closed the gap between you two and kissed. Your lips were pressed together for a few seconds before you both pulled away for the same amount of time. During that time, Bakugou kept his lips hovering over yours before pecking your lips a few times and then giving you a real, passionate kiss. Due to the small amount of alcohol in your system you happily returned it. Your hands found way into his hair and his found home on your waist. When you took a small breath, Bakugou slipped his tongue in and you both fought for dominance. In the heat of the moment, Bakugou carried you to sit on his lap and you followed his lead. Your tongues continued to tangle as Bakugou’s hands caressed your body.

They moved down to the hill of your ass and gave it a firm squeeze. You moaned into the kiss and it was music to his ears. Almost as good as the sweet lullaby you sang an hour ago. Soon enough, his hands traveled under your shirt and bra to fondle your plush breast. This made you let go of the kiss and throw your head back as you released soft moans. Bakugou didn’t stop and went into kiss your neck. He left sweet pecks before he left a few hickeys. His mouth moved around your neck before he found your sweet spot, earning a needy sound from you. Bakugou began nipping at the spot and licking the soft skin. His actions caused your hands to tug at his hair and made your hips naturally grind against his center. This made Bakugou groan as he gently layed you on your back on the couch. His body found way in between your legs as he separated from your neck and took notice of your flushed face. He smirked at the sight and his eyes traveled to your shirt, where his hands were hidden under. Deciding to change that, his hands left your valley of breast to push your shirt and bra up to expose your chest.

“Beautiful...” was what he whispered before going in to take one of your mounds in his mouth. You gasped and squealed at the sensation of his mouth covering one breast and his hand massaging the other. Bakugou continued to mark up your chest, leaving love bites and bruises all over.

“Ngh...Katsuki..” you whined. Both your centers began to grind against each other as the two of you were pretty much dry humping one another. Bakugou bit at your nipple, causing you to squirm.

“Easy Princess, I got you. Daddy’s got you, Love.” He said as he used both hands to rub soothing motions into your bare waist. You settled as Katsuki kissed a trail back up to your neck and whispered into your ear. “I’m gonna take such good care of you tonight, Y/N.”

His hand glided off your chest, down your stomach and down your pants. His movements had the wetness between your legs growing and his husky voice definitely didn’t calm it down. His hands slid into your panties and his finger took a swipe at your slick.

“So wet...and it’s all for me..right baby?” He smirked against your cheek.

“Y-Yes Katsuki!” You said as you attempted to grind against his hand before Katsuki pulled it away.

“Try again,” he said with a seductive tone. You were confused on what he meant but you were growing so desperate for a touch. His touch. So your mind began to scramble and think. Master? No. Sir? No. Senpai? Hell no.

“..Daddy.” You softly said. You watched as Bakugou’s smirk grew before he kissed your cheek in approval.

“Good girl.” His finger soon returned to your center and after running it up and down a few times, he slowly pushed two in. You gasped at his thick length as Bakugou pumped his hand in and out of you. Wanting to test the waters a bit more, he slid in a third finger as he picked up the speed a bit.

“O-Oh my god!” Your hips began to grind against his hand and Bakugou curled his fingers. “Fuck!”

“Feel good, baby?” Bakugou asked as he began to grind against the underside of your thigh. Your lower body began to slightly shake as his fingers reached a sensitive spot.

“Yes Daddy!” You cried out. You felt the coil in your stomach tightening, signaling a familiar sensation to almost be reached. Growing more riled up and wanting more room on the couch, Bakugou began to throw the decor pillows off the couch. The pillows flew around the living room knocking a few things over, including the family picture. The sound reached your ears and the sight of the broken frame snapped you out of your pleasured state. Your eyes grew wide as you finally came to and realized what you were doing. “Ngh, no!”

You pushed Katsuki off of you and pulled your shirt back down to cover yourself back up. Bakugou looked at you in shock and confusion as he watched you sit up and settle down. “Y/N...?”

Your hands covered your face for a second before rubbing at your temples for a bit. “No, I- ..*sigh* I’m so sorry Katsuki.”

“Uh..no..I-..I guess that was my fault. I’m sorry I just...”

“Ugh..no. Katsuki it’s not that.”

“I just thought you..felt the same way,” he said as he sat back and rubbed the back of his neck.

“No, Katsuki I do, really, it’s just...”

“So then..why’d you stop?” He asked as he looked at you with a nervous and awkward smile.

“Katsuki..you’re married. I’m sorry, I really like you but..I just can’t bring myself to come onto someone who is already in a relationship.” You explained.

‘Wow. She really is a perfect person,’ Bakugou thought to himself. “Y/N, if that’s the problem then don’t worry about it. I don’t even love Leiko, much less like that bitch.” Bakugou moved in to wrap his arm around your waist but you pushed it away.

“So then why are you still with her?” You asked. Katsuki smirked at your words and laughed a little.

“S’a good question,” he said. Right after those words left his mouth, keys could be heard opening the door and in came the bitch herself.

“What’s a good question?” Leiko said as she looked around. She took notice of yours and Katsuki’s presence on the couch, along with the bottle of wine and empty, used glasses. “Well? Is somebody going to explain? What was the question?” Leiko asked as she walked into the house, closing the front door.

Bakugou smiled at you with full eye contact before standing up and facing his wife. “Why am I still with you?”

Leiko raised a brow at the question and her anger began to boil. “What?” She sternly asked.

“Why am I still with you? I don’t love you, I don’t like you, I only stayed with you because we had Katsuo, our child which you don’t even love. In fact, the only thing you do love is my money, or more so, money in general, and yourself. You’re a conceited ass bitch who’s just taking up space in my life. You’re suffocating Katsuo and I by just existing and you’re holding the title of my wife, a title that Y/N should have. So why the fuck am I still with you?” Bakugou said with a stern voice.

“You-...You’re with me because I’m the mother of your child.” Leiko said with hesitation in her voice.

“Are you? Because you’re never around to be a mother for him. Katsuo doesn’t even care whether you’re here or not. Your presence in the house doesn’t make a damn difference. If anything, Y/N’s more of a mother to Katsuo than you.” Bakugou replied.

You grew uncomfortable with the situation and made an attempt to leave. “Umm..I think I should go-“

“No,” Bakugou began. “You’re staying. I want you to see this thing through to the end, beautiful.”

“Beautiful?! The only woman you should be calling beautiful is your wife Katsuki!” Leiko complained. “Not that slut!”

Now you were a uncomfortable but you were not no slut and you definitely didn’t take shit from nobody. “Excuse me?” You said with attitude but before you could continue, Bakugou intervened.

“Call her a slut again and I’ll blow your ass to bits. Let’s not forget, you had the title of a whore before being called my wife.” Bakugou said with the intent to cause pain.

“Well I may have been a whore but at least I never cheated, which is what I’m sure you were planning on doing with her if I hadn’t come home.” Leiko said.

“You’re damn right I was! Lucky for you, Y/N’s a good person so nothing actually went down but if she gave me the chance, please fucking believe I’d take it in a heartbeat. Matter of fact, if she gave me the chance to wife her up and make her Katsuo’s new mom I’d do that in a heartbeat too.” Bakugou said while looking at you. You felt your heart speed up a little due to his confession but you turned your head to the side to hide your growing blush. Bakugou smirked at the sight before Leiko interrupted.

“What the hell are you trying to say?!” Leiko asked with anger.

“I’m saying I don’t love or like you and I never did! And after 2 years of getting to know Y/N after falling for her at first sight, I can finally fucking say that I’m in love with somebody and it’s her!” Bakugou turned to face you as his wife’s jaw dropped. “Y/N, I’m fucking in love with you. Alright? I have been for the past 2 years already, ever since I met you. And to the bitch behind me,” Bakugou said and turned to face Leiko. “If it wasn’t already obvious, we’re getting a divorce.”

Leiko was fuming as her face grew red with anger. She began laughing in disbelief. “Hah, fine! Fine whatever! Like I give a fuck! Y/N you can have him and the damn kid! I never wanted him anyway! The damn brat just gave me an excuse to keep Bakugou’s fat wallet around. But when you come crawling back, don’t expect me to say yes Katsuki!”

“Well don’t expect me to come crawling back, ‘cause if I’m able to get Y/N to give me a chance, then I won’t be needing anyone else except for her and my son. You can get the fuck out now. I’ll send you your shit and the divorce papers to wherever the fuck you decide to stay.” Bakugou said as he gestured to the door. Leiko screamed some more nonsense that nobody payed attention to and finally walked out the door and slammed it shut.

Silence rang throughout the house for a few minutes after the official split between the toxic couple. Bakugou turned to face you with a small smile as he stood infront of you.

“Well?” He asked.

“Heh, well what?” You asked with a laugh.

“I uh..heh, it wasn’t the way I wanted to tell you but I got my confession out...” Bakugou took a seat next to you and took hold of your hand. He brought it up to his lips, placing a peck to your knuckles before speaking. “..I love you Y/N. I know I do..and I know this might be a bad time to ask considering what just went down-“

“Uh, yeah. A really bad time,” you said with a little giggle.

“Right but umm..do you...how do you feel about me?” He asked with a nervous pulse beating throughout his body. He had to know. Do you love him just for his looks? Did you just want to fuck? Did you actually feel something towards him?

You smiled before using your other hand to grab hold of Katsuki’s shoulder and pulled him in for a sweet kiss. Katsuki’s body jumped in excitement but his hands were quick to hold onto your waist. This kiss was sweet and loving and lasted for some time before you pulled back. You smiled at the blonde as he looked at you with anticipating eyes.

“I love you too Katsuki.” Before you could even process anything, Katsuki had already pounced on you and pinned you to the couch in a hug. He had his arms wrapped around your waist as he tucked his head in the crevasse of your neck.

“God, I’ve been waiting years to hear you say those words.” Bakugou said before he began covering your face in thousands of loving kissed. You giggled at the ticklish and loving feeling and just smiled as you allowed Katsuki to show you his love.

—

Time passed and you and Katsuki stayed cuddled up on the couch. Nothing sexual, nothing nasty, just pure love induced cuddle time. Eventually, the late hours of the night exposed themselves and so you had to go.

“Katsuki, get up,” you said in a soft voice.

“No.” You laughed at his quick reply and began to push at his body to get him off.

“C’mon Katsuki seriously. I have to go home!” You said with another laugh.

“No. Katsuo and I are your new home.” He said, making his body become dead weight to stop you from going.

“Oof! Katsuki!! C’mon!” You whined out with a chuckle. Katsuki laughed with you but you kept trying. “You both are my new home, but my old home has comfy pjs for me to sleep in.”

“I can give you one of my shirts to sleep in. You’d look so amazing in them, princess.” He said with a smile as he imagined how you’d look prancing around in his clothes. It wasn’t the first time he thought about it but just knowing it was so close to becoming true sent butterflies all over his body.

“C’mon Katsuki. You already made me miss my class, the least you could do is let me go back to my apartment.” You said. Bakugou raised his head to look at you with a grin plastered on his face.

“You stayed on your own free will. S’not my fault you love talking to me. Let’s not forget what happened after our long talk too,” Bakugou said, hinting at your scandalous acts with him before you stopped anything else from happening. You rolled your eyes at his words before he spoke up again. “Matter of fact, maybe we should pick up where we left off,” he said and began kissing your cheek.

“Noooo, Katsuki, seriously. I’m tired, I just want to sleep.” You said with a smile.

“So sleep here,” he bargained. You looked at him with a raised brow, silently asking him to go on. “I was serious about having you stay over. You can sleep in my shirt and we can both fall asleep in the guest room.”

“Both of us in the guest room?” You questioned.

“Yeah. I’d let you sleep in my room but I’m not letting that bitch’s leftover presence contaminate you.” You laughed at his insults but allowed him to continue. “And yes both of us. I’m not going to sleep without my princess in my arms.”

You couldn’t lie, the sound of falling asleep in Katsuki’s arms in his clothes was pretty tempting. After taking a look at Katsuki and seeing the same puppy eyes that Katsuo was able to persuade you with, you gave in.

“Fine.”

“Yes!” Bakugou said with a fist in the air as he cuddled in closer.

—

Bakugou finally let you go and allowed you to take a shower. While you were in there, he took a quick drive to the corner store and bought some compression shorts for you. When he returned he left one of his shirts and a pair of the compression shorts for you on the guest bed as he went to get ready for bed in his own room. You walked into the guest room and saw the shorts and shirt and put them on. You looked in the mirror and noticed the shorts weren’t even noticeable considering their tiny length and the large size of Katsuki’s shirt. While staring at yourself, Katsuki walked in wearing nothing but gray sweats. He took a glance at you and was drooling over your body in his clothes.

“...Wow,” he whispered but you heard. You turned to face him and smiled. You walked to him and wrapped you arms around his neck.

“Hey Suki, ready for bed?” You said. Bakugou smiled at the new name as a small blush dusted over his cheeks.

“Suki?”

“New name for you. Like it?” You asked.

“Love it.” He said and pecked your lips before picking you up and carrying you to the bed. He dropped you onto the soft mattress and flopped on top of you. You both laughed a little before getting under the blankets and cuddling up against each other again.

Time passed and Katsuki felt at peace finally with you in his arms. Like the missing part of him was finally filled in. You were so happy and felt so loved in the safety of his arms. Staying the night was definitely worth it.

“I’m so glad Y/N. I love you so much and I’ve wanted you for so long.” He said with your head tucked under his chin. You smiled at his words and nuzzled into his chest.

“Well congrats Katsuki. ‘Cause now, you have me.” Katsuki kissed the crown of your head before falling asleep. And when he woke up that morning to find you in the kitchen with Katsuo on your hip as you made breakfast, he smiled with a full heart as he walked to you both and remembered your words.

“You have me.”

A/N: Hey y’all, for a better experience with the story, I do recommend clicking the link where Y/N sang to Katsuo. I put two links in the story. The heels class and Y/N’s singing, (which is from Rio 2, Jewel’s lullaby) Don’t judge me, that’s the best lullaby ever😂 If you don’t know what a heels class is in dancing, it is basically...dancing with heels😂 Umm...yeah. THE ENDING IS SO RUSHED, IM SO SORRY!

TAGLIST:  @sxcker4you @aomi04

[the-soliloquies-of-sadists]

#259

“Seth? Right? C’mon in. Your brother told you who I am? Good. Want a beer?... Here you go. Let’s go out to the back deck. The sun went down, and the cool evening air is starting to kick in. Have a seat…. Ok. Seth, do you know why you are here? Let me be blunt. Your brother David owes me a lot of money. A lot. He’s been doing jobs for me that I need someone I can trust to do. But that’s barely covering the interest. I told him he needs to start working down the principal. So, he offered me… you….

“That’s right he sold you to me. You are going to whore off his debt…. Shut the fuck up. The deal is set. Have some more beer; it will help you to deal with what I need to go over with you….

“Your brother probably told you that I am a powerful man. Hopefully he didn’t tell you what I did. I will share with you one part of my business that you will be a part of. I have several whore agencies across several states. They ain’t like the whorehouses in the movies. The girls never see money; they show up at a set time and do whatever the man wants. They do not say no. They get to live in city, and they show their clients the best the city has to offer. They have everything paid for and get a nice credit card too.

“A few years ago—hell it’s more like ten or so, —I was convinced to do the same but on the fag side. Now, I knew nothing about fag sex, and it disgusted me. Once I got over the visuals, the business was just like the girls. The difference I found out was that I had to have two sets of whores—fag boys like yourself, and men old enough to be your father.

“It was Frankie, one of my goons, who told me that there is a lot money to be made by men taking the dominant role. I didn’t believe it. So, he arranged for me to watch him from a distance him work over this faggot. He didn’t tell me how much he was earning. When I saw this fag hand over three hundred bucks, I knew I needed to get into this. I mean my guy did barely anything other than smack the fag around, call him names, and sit on the faggot’s face at the end. That fag ate that fat ass while pounding its pud. Frankie even went over to the fag’s wallet and took an additional hundred out of it. And wouldn’t you know, that fag boy was loving life.

“Needless to say, that was how I got into the fag whoring business. I had Frankie lead it; he even got somewhat in shape, and now he’s my most popular whore men. Wait a minute, you know him. He fucked you behind a dumpster in the alley behind that fag bar a couple weeks ago. When I saw you at David’s birthday partner at my tavern and he told me that you were his sperm burping brother, I sent Frankie to find out more about you. I know that you can take a good pounding, face slaps, rough housing. Frankie also told me that you cleaned off his cock after we was done and that you drank his piss. You even begged him for more as he walked away from you, naked covered in piss behind the dumpster. That’s all I needed to hear.

“After meeting with your brother, all I had to do was press the massive debt. I knew how self-serving he was. He sold you out so fucking fast. And now I own you. Now strip faggot….

“You do realize who I am? No one ever disobeys one of my direct commands. Now think about your next move real carefully. STRIP YOU FUCKING FAGGOT. Take your time standing up. That drug I put in your beer will make you kinda dizzy if you stand too fast. Yeah, I didn’t want you to run back to your car. Kid, when you came in that door, you were mine. That’s it. Accept your fate. Good boy.

“Yeah, after Frankie roughed up that fag, I was curious. He arranged for me to use one of his regulars who was blindfolded. It was so much fun to kick and punch that faggot only to have him crawl to me, begging for more. With each time, I got more wicked, and they wanted more. I had a few fags over the years locked up and had the best of all worlds. My wife provides me with companionship. My girlfriend offers sensual making love and snuggling. And my faggot takes all my rage filled abuse.

“Underwear needs to go too. Let’s see what you have. Not bad. Looks like you are excited about being naked in front of me. That’s a lot of pre-cum. Decent sized balls. I’d say you are about six inches long. The shaft is a bit thin, but the head is good size. Your foreskin is not too long. That’s good. If there’s going to be one sweaty stinky dick around here, it will be mine. If yours becomes a problem, we’ll get you circumcised.

“What? Faggot, you are nothing more to me than my pickup. If I want to modify you out, I sure as hell am going to. I modify all my property. Tattoos, piercing, permanent hair removal, castration, branding, and so on. But actually, I am a bit cautious. I made the mistake of castrating a fag and regretted it afterwards. He just didn’t seem right to me. The cutter I went to tried to put in fake balls, but it still didn’t seem right. I ended up replacing that fag with another.

“I am looking for my perfect fag. I’m planning on letting my girlfriend go, but sometimes I need that close touch. Not going to do that with my wife. Every day now I realize that I want to be with faggots over women. Faggots are so much easier to mold into what I want. And every now and then I might snuggle with one.

“I like what I see. I want to see your cumload. Jerk off for me. I’ll give you a few minutes to do so. When you do, shoot in your spare hand. I want to see the quantity. I’m going to get your collar; it’s probably done charging. I’m also going to take your car keys. You ain’t going anywhere. Continue jacking….

“….Did you cum? You did! Good fag. When was the last time you came? Yesterday morning? Well that’s a good load. Here, lock this collar around your neck. Ok, so here’s the deal. You can jack off as often as you like, whenever you like as long as I am not using you. If I catch you jacking off, don’t stop. If you are watching porn, continue. But know this, no matter if you haven’t cum in days or you just had a massive orgasm, should I require your use, I fully expect 100% horniness and enthusiasm.

“This remote is hooked up to your collar. With this button… you fall to the floor just like that. Hurt’s like a mother fucker hunh? That’s on low. Remember that. It is also set up to shock you should you cross a 20-foot perimeter of the house. I am notified by an app on my phone when you do something that stupid. Also, the garage and my office on the third floor are completely off limits. You will not fare well should you cross that threshold without me.

“Bring your cock over here. Is your dick head sensitive. It is! Fuck yes! As you get soft, it’s driving you crazy. Good. Good. I see a problem here. Your pubic hair is all over the place. You shouldn’t have hair down here. Look how long this hair is. There’s enough so that I can twirl a bunch around my finger. With a firm yank,… it comes out in one clump. Aww shut the fuck up. Most of the time your screams of pain will turn me on, but now it’s just annoying. Another clump on the other side, and it doesn’t even look like you lost any.

“Look at me faggot. Say ‘Thank you.’ Good fag. Open your mouth. Here eat your pubic hair. Go on chew it. Nasty? I know, now swallow. And here’s… another bunch. Swallow these…. And these… And these… You’ll be permanently shaved in the near future so you won’t have to do much pubic hair eating.

“While you finish your snack, let me take you around the place and show you your duties. This is the kitchen. David told me that you went to culinary school but then dropped out. Well, you will be doing all the cooking here. Cleaning too.

“Let’s go downstairs…. This is your room, although you really don’t have privacy. Over there is your cot. Next to it is the plug you will put into your collar every night. I am notified on my app should the power level drop below 75%. That’s equivalent for not charging for a full week. Unless I just slam you with shocks, I should never get one of those notifications.

“You have a wash basin there, and your toilet is there. There’s your douche hose over there in the shower. No, I haven’t gotten around to buying it a toilet seat; the cold porcelain is fine. And I haven’t hooked up the hot water down here.

“Let’s go up to the Master bedroom…. You never climb into my bed unless I invite you in. In fact no non-sexual furniture for you either without permission. Through that door is the master bath. You will keep this place spotless. That includes licking clean my toilet. The rimseat next to it is when I want to make you toilet paper or a full toilet.

“And here’s the playroom. It’s totally soundproofed. You are going to suffer a lot in here. Screaming is encouraged. In fact, what time is it? Seven. Well we might as well start now. Get on all fours—knees and elbows. Spread those knees wide. Every night you will present yourself in this position, as you will every morning.

“Don’t get too excited. I am going to fuck you good, long, and deep. But that won’t until the end. We got a long way to go. You see, the only people who knows my affinity for preferring the boys to the girls are Frankie, me, and now you. Your brother thinks I’m adding you to my harem of fags. This is something that cannot get out. And if it does, I will know it came from you, and I want you to know the perpetual hell that will come your way.

“Tonight is a test of what you can expect, but keep in mind, tonight’s suffering will be only five hours long, much shorter than what will be if my preference is ever widely known.

“And after the paddling your ass to a welted mess, whipping your back until it turns to bloody hamburger, kicking your balls until they are swollen to twice their size, bruising up your face, and fucking you with very little lube, I may feel the need to snuggle up with you afterwards.

“But first, there’s a lot to do before we do that. Oh look your balls are just ripe for a good old fashioned full-force kick. Every night and every morning you will get one to always remind you what you are.

“Faggot right now with this kick your hell begins.”