hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x
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sometimes I feel so happy. sometimes I feel so sad. sometimes I rememeber that Crowley canonically listens to the Velvet Underground in the privacy of his car (inner mind) and probably relates to the lyrics of "thought of you as everything I've had but couldn't keep" and "let me be your eyes, a hand to your darkness, so you won't be afraid" like crazy. it makes me fucking mad
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I'm finally done with work for the day. If I don't eat in the next 15 minutes my sword fighting skills will make a comeback.
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Honestly it's much funnier to watch the DA fandom tear itself to shreds over a single trailer now that I'm not invested anymore.
Is it really worth spiking your blood pressure? If you don't enjoy it, go spend your money and time on things you do like. Lol and lmao.
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mkay, i usually dont do this. i usually mind my own business and shit talk in my head but i'm not going to lie i'm so annoyed, i really need to get it off my chest before i go about this the wrong way.
hating female characters because they dared to be your fave's CANON RI IS NOT CUTE! and at alot of yalls big age, it's kind of embarrassing and pathetic.
i'm 25 and i am into a character that has at least two canon love interests and one that pined after someone. i'm not going to lie and say that that doesn't bother me on a mild jealousy level- i am saying this to put out there that i am NOT shaming any adult for having crushes on their faves and getting a little put off by them having CANON RIs.
I'm not and anyone that knows me would know that. (just wanted to say so in case this reaches anyone that doesn't)
what i AM shaming though is when yall are childish about it and go after these CANON RIs and rip them to shreds because let's face it, it's not you. at this point it has nothing to do with the characters not having enough character development, not having enough time with the character to make it make sense, not having a likeable personality or whatever bullshit yall have used as excuses to rip these typically female characters apart for having a CANON relationship with your faves and i'm tired of being nice about it.
yall sat there and HYPED YUKI UP when she was just an awkward girl that might or might not have had a lil crush on someone- which so many people decided to ignore and box her into the sibling category, just like the rest of the hostesses when it's obvious they all fell for him. and yall like to go 'oh lol those things aren't canon' because it's not in the main story- BITCH IF THE ORIGINAL WRITERS WROTE IT IT'S MOTHERFUCKING CANON! but let a substory or something come up that feeds into whatever fucking idea you've been feeding yourself yall will shout from the roof tops how it's canon and no one can take it from you.. i'm not gonna take it from you, but at some point, i hope you realize how hypocritical you sound.
yall sat there and hyped yuki up FOR YEAAAAAARS and the second she gets casted as kiryu's love interest you wanna bring out the torches and burn her at the stake??? it was never about the character, it's always been about you. and your jealousy that you're too emotionally immature to realize is JUST jealousy and you make it every fucking female character with romantic ties to every fave you've ever had's problem. i mean think about it, if you can sit here and smash characters together that have never so much as stood in the same room as the other, is it really about canon chemistry? it's not and you know it's not and you should learn how to reevaluate your relationship with these characters before you CONTINUE to make a fool of yourself because it's pathetic and i no longer have the patience to rationalize what you 'really mean' anymore.
something i want yall to remember when yall get mad at these girls for being there instead your selfship oc or another character you are clearly attracted to, at the end of the day, that's HER man. and YOU are stepping in where you dont belong. not her.
grow the fuck up.
and where i stand on this personally? oryo and ryouma are a cute ass couple and it's the ONE time we get to see kiryu end up with someone and be HAPPY about it! oryo and ryouma had a whole year of history together before you even saw them and when you did see them, they had something!! they had plot! you even got to spend time with her unlike other LIs. WHY NOT BE HAPPY FOR YOUR FAVE???? and if oryo existing bothers you soooo much, dont make it her fucking problem. write an oc and ship him with them but dont spend 12 pages bitching about why oryo wasn't good enough for him as a RI.
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