#:) i want to rip something into shreds
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lowkey think that if jorge really wanted to sell us on the "odysseus is a monster thing" he should have had odysseus continue to stab poseidon even after he begged. bc like. Looking at odysseus now? he's less a monster and more like a morally grey protagonist. All of his questionable actions have pretty good explanations behind them. if you want to tell me he's a MONSTER, you need him to do something really fucking vile. without good justification. killing the baby? (also. he fought in a war. i reckon plenty of babies died indirectly as a result of his actions somehow) zeus literally told him he and his family would die otherwise. blinding the cyclops? pretty self-explanatory. sacrificing the men to scylla? bad, but has an understandable reason behind it and you can theoretically justify it. choosing the crew to die? saving his own life+you could argue they are the ones at fault for eating the cows anyway. torturing poseidon? there's literally no other way poseidon would let him go at that point AND he immediately stops after he begs.
point is, if you're going to tell me a character is a monster then at least make them do something that cannot be defended. something that CANNOT be justified at all. continuing to stab poseidon after being begged would have done that. but who knows, maybe the suitors being killed will be shown as something like that? still unlikely though considering they plot to kill telemachus and rape penelope.
#and like. i KNOW people will say killing the crew was not justifiable at all#and true! if this was irl theres no way id defend him doing that#but in fiction the morals of killing are a lot more wishy washy and it's easier to forgive or justify it#because its fiction and we naturally don't feel the same we would if someone was actually dying#which is why if you truly want to sell a character being a 'monster' you need to have#a kick the puppy moment? i cant think of a name rn#but essentially a moment where the character does something that is unnecessarily cruel and evil and excessive+cannot be justified#ody doesnt rlly have that imo?#anyway dont rip me to shreds please#odysseus#epic the musical#meta
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sometimes I feel so happy. sometimes I feel so sad. sometimes I rememeber that Crowley canonically listens to the Velvet Underground in the privacy of his car (inner mind) and probably relates to the lyrics of "thought of you as everything I've had but couldn't keep" and "let me be your eyes, a hand to your darkness, so you won't be afraid" like crazy. it makes me fucking mad
#crowley#good omens#ineffable husbands#the velvet underground#something about A Demon reminiscing to gentle strumming of guitar and sotto vocals in a romantic kinda way feels. so raw. im dizzy#:) i want to rip something into shreds#and okay his devilish playlist was on point for the “i'll be your mirror” but “pale blue eyes” fucks me up on the regular#speaking from the obsessed with spotify playlists side#i have to link my good omens ones here#god knows i've made several#the longest one is over a day long for the 24/7 gomens brainrot experience#anthony j crowley#aziraphale#good omens soundtrack#marcela talks
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this is like…a totally different vibe from my last posts but i never realized how fucked up it is that we in america have to do school shooter drills. like i remember being in first grade after sandy hook and having my first lockdown drill and being told by the teacher that if we didn’t stay hidden and stay quiet that we would die. like even today over the announcements, we had one, and it was like…five full minutes of strict instructions on what to do and when. idk if they do this in every school but i know my school sends security guards to bang on/check the doors to make sure it’s 1. locked and 2. that everyone stays hidden. it’s more fucked up when you realize no one takes them seriously anymore. that it’s just become an every day thought of “oh, another school shooter drill”, and it gets to the point even the teachers don’t bat an eye. i admit, im guilty of not taking it as serious as i should, and its kind of messed up.
i dunno. it’s sad that some people don’t care about the lives of children and would rather have them go from kindergarten through maybe even college under the guise that “i may be shot at school today”, and they don’t support gun control. i dunno. this has bugged me for forever.
#tw shooting#tw school shooting#(it’s mentioned a lot)#america#like nobody needs a military style machine gun that can rip a fucking child into shreds#say what you want but i don’t think the founding fathers knew that people were going to bring guns into school and go after kids when they#wrote the second amendment#if you wanna have a gun then use a hunting pistol or something i dunno#you don’t need an ak-47 for even hunting#this is personal kinda#i’ve never been in a lockdown but there have been gun threats and a number of times where a gun/bullet was found in the school#they found bullets on the fucking elementary school playground and didn’t do anything about it#usually we don’t get emailed about this shit until weeks later like “oh yeah we found bullets in the bleachers after a football game”#idk this is a rant#rambling#kinda
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Do I understand what's happening in Warframe most of the time?
No
#I just want to kick someones ass. I don't know what's happening beyond that#and I don't want to#except that one guy who I can apparently kiss I wanna get him#I don't remember any of the NPC's except that one guy who got ripped to shreds or something#he was fine after btw
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sits here. my mood has been swinging back and forth like a pendulum lately
#i still can't bring myself to make anything art-wise. and it is ripping me to shreds internally#i have no motovation whatsoever and i'm feeling disgusted by my creations. like that's the best you could do huh mixer?#i dunno. trying to keep calm. i'm going to my uncle's tomorrow to puppysit for 3 days#i'm happy that i'll see puppy but being out of my house will be stressful.#plus i've still got work to go to...#and i need to do the laundry and take out the trash and stop buying uber eats and forward my snap benefits email and.#and later today after high school lets out i'm going to talk with an old teacher i had#i need to change my bedding too..#i at least took a shower yesterday#i think my ptsd has been acting up in the background or something#my other uncle tries to tell me to let go of the past. but i don't want to. my past has forever impacted the way i'll be for the rest of-#-my life yk? and my 'past' wasn't even that long ago. it was 2/3 years ago. and my brother's still with that awful man#i can't pull him away from him.#i just wanna sleep. might take a sleep med early just to take a nap#i've been hating everything i make so like. why even try yk.#i drew one thing while i was hospitalized- a tiny sane jack head#i dunno. i dunno. i feel so empty. my depression's been super bad. i don't enjoy things that once made me happy#i feel so aimless. i'm thinking about going to college but i have to see what scholarships would be available because i can't work this job#WHILE in school. it'd wear me to the bone#i don't want to quit my job though. i like my job. i like my boss and my coworkers..#i dunno. idfk what's wrong with me anymore. i just want the pain to stop man.#i dunno what i want to do with myself but i feel like a. fuck it ik it's from firework but i feel like a plastic bag in the wind#i'm so tired. i miss my mom. i miss my sister. i miss my brother.#vent#delete later
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there’s something so complex about drarry
#I’m more sleep than awake but I am not wrong#there’s also something sacred about their relationship that I want to explore soon#thinking about them tonight#hoping they’re ripping each other to shreds somewhere in the universe
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tbh tho i think my art is fugly af LMFAO
#not in a '>w< eeeek! i wish i could drawww 🥺 i can only cobble such measle crap with my lowly peasant paws.. *unveils mona lisa*'#sense but like a my style makes me want to hurl whenever i look at it bcs it's a constant reminder that it can only be what i can make it be#and bcs it looks bad to me then that means i cant make things look good if u get my sense like#idk man 😭!! im just sick of being scribbly!! and not clean! i wanna ink my art! have crisp lines! dark lines!!#not have to put stupid darkening filters on everything bcs i cant color or shade so my art is just stuck with the blinding white background#well the frustration is more how i CAN color and shade.. i CAN ink my lines with a darker one#lets not excuse my laziness now cmon ted omg dumbass bitch#it's just that doing so makes me . crazy#my attention span like. crumbles when i try to add color or ink over lines bcs thats Such a commitment to me#i HATE leaving things unfinished when it seems so monumental#like unfinished sketches or prompts? fine. those are sketches. little prompts. even if u post it it's shit#but starting big things is a COMMITMENT.. with CONSEQUENCES ! ! i just want to avoid them ig#it's like im stuck between art being a fun lil past time and being a perfectionist actually so no. no it is not#but also i NEED to draw i NEED to write SOMETHING! SOMETHING!! then i realize the weight of things and purposefully hinder myself#then later hate myself for hindering even tho it felt so good and right in the beginning ORGHH or WHATEVER#idk one of my friends told me my style reminded them of the new tmnt movie (which has been praised yeah#for like beautiful ugliness tho) and like. i KNOW it's a compliment... but. why did it make me Feel 😭 like i wanted to rip my art 2 shreds#once i lined my art and my friend (an artist i admire) said smthin like 'omg finally! ted lined art! gorgeous!'#& i KNOW. I KNOW IT'S A COMPLIMENT. BUT WHY AM I THINKING LIKE. SO VIOLENT. NOT ABT THEM. BUT MY SHIT NOW#like UGHHH i just HATE feeling trapped and helpless when actually theres help available but im just DUM!! JUST LINE UR ART TED#art is like playing sport is like making good grades is like working well is like being a good friend is like being a good person#literally. just be GOOD.#it's all a performance to me ARGHARGH! I HATE THE JOKER! I HATE BEING CRINGE@! RAGGHH I HATE THIS SHIT#<- mfs when no basketball#mfw i cannot avoid enlightenment via the meaningless distractions i codepently craveRAGGHG!!!!!!1!
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#me therapizing myself by pointing out the inconsistently of being so worried that ppl don't see me as an actual person to care abt but just#something to use for sex#but also believing it's all i'm good for and that there's no reason someone would like who i am as a person#like oh a therapist would rip me to shreds ..#any social stuff is so so fucking hard and it seems like it's just getting harder#im terrified but want it so bad at the same time and i just#have no clue what i'm doing <3#jester.txt
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uh ohhh smthns catching up w me... (sudden burst of energy and wildly racing heart)
#srsly what the hell does this mean#not even an “i wanna do stuff” kind of energy#its just an “i want to scream and maybe rip something to shreds w my teeth” kind of energy#like what am i supposed to do w this????? god fucking damn it
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hmm i think i am not coping. very well
#i feel like ive hit a wall in my ability to handle anything and idk how to hold myself together anymore#i see myself spiraling terribly but i am so exhausted in every single way that i cannot bring myself to care#and it’s going to kill me one day but i cant even care abt that#july was so horrible. so so bad it’s the worst month ive had since my dad’s passing#i feel so incredibly empty and stagnant and stuck i feel like i am in a tar pit and ive been here before#but i no longer have the strength to claw myself out of it#nor the support of others (irl i love u mutuals)#i quite literally only have my brother at this point and with how physically abusive he can become it’s not like that’s a relationship i#truly feel supported and safe in but it’s all i have#ive always been isolated severely by my family + the Issues have always made socialization so exhausting#i feel like im just floating and no one knows me nor cares bc how can they. i either just push people away to avoid getting hurt or i dont e#even try. and when i want to it’s a task so daunting and draining#i don’t have it in me despite knowing the lack of human connection is absolutely destroying me and ripping me to shreds#despite knowing a community of some kind would help#but i also feel like i offer fucking nothing and am worthless so would i even accept the help given to me. probably not#i wish i wasnt so intense of a person in every single way. and yet i will never be enough either#i feel like ive been clinging and digging my claws into my sanity that was not really present in the first place#ive been put through so much i couldnt cope with so repeatedly and so young i think by the time i wqs 10 i had already hit a wall but you#cant just stop living so it’s only compounded on top of that#it feels unhealable it feels like just part of me now.#i see a complete absence of a future for myself and i have no one to stay alive for anymore#not my parents not my pets not my friends and i dont know how to stay alive for myself bc it’s not something ive ever wanted#idk anymore. ive never felt so utterly lost and alone and broken lmao.#no wonder this relapse has been so all-consuming#dlt ltr
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Honestly it's much funnier to watch the DA fandom tear itself to shreds over a single trailer now that I'm not invested anymore. Is it really worth spiking your blood pressure? If you don't enjoy it, go spend your money and time on things you do like. Lol and lmao.
#they're gonna spend money on something that makes them mad and then get all shocked pikachu face when they don't like it#maybe i should start selling clown shoes. i bet i could make bank rn#anyways to everyone who is actually excited i really hope it turns out well and you all have fun!#i don't actually want to see ea rip bioware to shreds if this game fails#shut up finny
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being so normal about this dialogue and not extremely fucking crazy in any way.
#this is in response to telling him ‘maybe you’d deserve it’ about the vampire kids ripping him to shreds#which is Not the dialogue choice ieriyn actually makes but this response is one of my fav astarion lines in the game#the delivery on ‘of course i’d deserve it’ makes me feel crazy#because he believes that. he KNOWS that. he would deserve it.#he can try to justify killing them all he wants but like. he knows he would deserve it if they killed him.#this isn’t me saying he’s protective of or cares deeply about kids i do Not think that’s true but#he knows what he did to those kids was heinous. and he knows he doesn’t deserve to walk away from it#and yet he HAS to. he has to! he hasn’t survived this long for nothing. he hasn’t gritted his teeth and done what cazador asked of him all#this time for nothing.#the other spawn said he was weak. that he never stood up to cazador. he has to make that worth Something#but he knows it isn’t Right. he knows he’s just lucky. he knows he shouldn’t be allowed to walk free for what he’s done#idk i’m rambling i like him :)#漫言#z plays bg3
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me seeing my sister and her bf hold hands: 🙂🙂😀😕😞😔😓😠🤬🫥🫥🫥
#I just disappear off the face of the earth tbh#gosh I am so jealous and then so disgusted by myself for being jealous#it’s just. IT’S JUST.#I want one <//333#makes me want to rip something to shreds fr
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and if I say that I’m thinking about decker mauling sb to protect sb? hm??
#( tell me to stop posting ; ooc. )#I just want him to protect sb … thinking so heavily about it …#maybe rip a threat to shreds to protect sb <3#or just finding a loved one after they’re injured/go through something & fussing over them? hm??
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Stomping my feet. Baring my teeth. Tensing my shoulders and curling my claws. Heavy pants and half taken breaths. I am anger, I am frustration, and I can’t find release.
I am not a loyal or wet dog, I am starved and tired and ready to kill.
#to hunt and be hunted#head space posting#I am very tried and I’m having a very bad time and I just want to rip something to shreds
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God being like 'oh no cannibalism and likewise is normal for demons it's quite commonplace and not at all frowned on' and Sona wholeheartedly believing it until he meets other demons that insist 'I mean yeah but not like That'
#god like its normal to eat people alive. encouraged even#and the other demons being like no that's weird.#eating still living things in in-univ demon culture is entirely normalized she is right about that#its just more geared towards lesser demons or if done on other demons as a hunger/attack/revenge/esc type thing#or moreso with the sole intent of eating#there are few demons who just do it for funsies but theres definitely a black market for selling higher demon meat and other things I think#and definitely some more powerful/influential demons who control that market#rip sona though bndmjs#gets down to hell for the first time and half expects to see people eating eachother#sorry bud. you dont get off that easily you dont get a place where you can belong a bit more#was gonna say god pats his arm or something but she cant go there with him anyways#for Complicated Past reasons but also she would get ripped to shreds by every demon in a 10mile radius wanting to kill her for power#sonaverse#delete tag#nvjdk does that even make sense
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