#:) i like this build bc once you see it it makes you reconsider the other places you see the crescent moon chair

[h4ll0w33n-isle]

like this build so much more since i switched the crescent moon chairs from white to this sort of lisa frank gradient

[gay-dorito-dust]

Wednesday Addams, with a Male!Reader that is like Goro Majima

Just wanna know how much of pure wackiness it can get at Nevermore especially with our main characters bc of Y/N.

I’m doing this in a headcannon format cuz I’ve got some ideas on the chaos Majima!Reader would get into. Most of these are pranks but some (like maybe 2/3) are references to the shit he’s done in the games. (1. dressed up as a girl. 2.hide in a trash can for Kiriyu and 3. driving a vehicle into a building.)

Also warning: quite fucking long cuz I went away with the fairies a little bit.

I feel like when you first met Wednesday you were laying down in a makeshift grave you’ve dug yourself on school grounds. Why? It doesn’t really matter as for the reasoning behind the action since you did things purely by impulse. many people have decided to give up in trying to figure you out because your personality often changed on a dime; making you quite the dangerous enigma.

Also some rules were set in place because of you. What an icon. We love to see it.

“What is your purpose?”

“I dunno.” You shrug, beaming up at her with a crazed grin.

“Seems like a waste of a grave.” She said, watching as you dug yourself out with a grunt, uncaring of the dirt that clung to your clothes nor how it got under your nails from your climb out. She the noticed you kneeling down next to the grave and pulling out your signature metal bat. Her dark eyes brightened with intrigue.

“Were you planning on burying someone alive?” Wednesday questions with slight interest. You shrug again before looking down at the grave that you suddenly grown bored of and sighed, hauling your bat so that it rested against your shoulder as you walked off. “It’s all yours, I’ve grown bored and besides Weems says I should reconsider the type of pranks I pull but,” you turned to look at Wednesday over your shoulder, “where’s the fun in that.” You flashed another crazed grin before walking off to who knows where, “See ya new kid.”

“It’s Wednesday-.” She goes to tell you but you seemed to have disappeared without much of a trace. Xavier, who was passing by, notes her confusion and the empty 6ft plot of dug up soil next to her and immediately knew you were behind such an expression.

“You met y/n. Didn’t you?” He asked her.

“Is that his name, he’s quite the character.” Wednesday mused, your unpredictable nature and aloof personality made you stand out even in a school for outcasts. Your mental state must be quite the minefield for Kinbott to navigate if digging up plots of land for a prank was your rendition of fun.

Xavier scoffs, “you could say that again, he once put an eyesore of a canvas in my art studio one day and when I got a loser look at it. Y/n opened his eyes, scaring me shitless, before jumped away from the canvas, his whole body was caked from head to toe in paint, and pushed me over my stool with the end of his metal bat.��� Xavier subconsciously rubbed the small of his back. “Bastard then ran out of the shed, laughing hysterically…fucking psycho.”

“Interesting, maybe this school won’t be so dull as I first interpreted.” Wednesday said, uncaring of the story Xavier was telling her before walking off, leaving him befuddled. Afterwards Wednesday would asked Enid, Ajax, Eugene, hell evenTyler about you to which they were all quick to look in every direction incase you were somehow nearby before speaking their peace about you.

Enid said that you were a loose cannon, an unstoppable force of pure chaos. Yet you had a charm that would swoon boys, girls and others alike and make everyone forget that your mind was the equivalent of a bagful of rabid raccoons; You protected those who needed to be protected even though your methods were quite…extreme, seeing as your weapons of choice was a metal bat that didn’t bend after a couple of bludgeoning blows and a collection of knives. This earned you the monicure of ‘the mad dog of Nevermore.’

You scared the poor daylights out of her and Yoko one day by dressing yourself up in a white wedding gown you somehow obtained, splashed large quantities of red food dye across it to make it look like bloodstains; you even went as far as to buy a reduced Halloween makeup kit to replicate slash marks across your neck and face whilst also putting in milky white eye contacts. You had a story made up and everything about being a poor innocent normie who got stood up at the alter by her husband and then was later killed by something beastly. (It was a bear but you liked to keep it anonymous for more authenticity.)

Before this however, you told this story to the girls one night at a campfire and with the help of some of your friends in making bushes rustle, twigs snapping and other various noises. You then ventured into the woods to ‘investigate’ much to Yoko and Enid’s dismay before quickly changing and hastily putting on a wig ontop of your head and rushing back out towards the campfire, screaming. Sending the poor girls running to their shared tent. When they found that it was just you, they gave you the silent treatment for such a cruel prank.

Ajax would find you chill for the most part but once you frightened him so badly by sneaking into the shower room late one night and stuffing yourself into a cramp bin where you stayed hidden until he got out of the shower, jumping out screaming ‘boo!’ Ajax was taken off guard that badly that he accidentally stoned not just you but himself by looking directly in the mirror. Oops.

Eugene actually had nothing but good things to say about you, funnily enough to Wednesday’s surprise. At this point she found out that you were quite the trickster and an advent fan for the morbid and the macabre. However Eugene’s tales concerning you were times where you brutally beaten up normies and bullies alike for picking on him. You even suggested that he helped you in getting even by setting up a bucket load of pollen/honey that once it’s contents were dumped upon their intended victims, Eugene would them send out a small swarm of bees to chase the off.

You treated Eugene like a little brother and so whoever messed with him, messes with you also; Eugene couldn’t help but view you as the brother he always wanted. While that didn’t mean he was exempt from your shenanigans but you tended to hold yourself back when it came to Eugene. Everyone left Eugene alone because of you and in payment, Eugene would often gift you a bottle of honey as a thank you for standing by him no matter what.

Tyler doesn’t like you.

You don’t like Tyler and you made that evidently clear by doing things like breaking into Weathervane and badly busting up the coffee machine or stealing sums of money out of the area where the bottom drawer of the registers were kept, so that when he opens up in the morning he’d be in big shit with his shift manager. Did you potentially get put into jail for this? Maybe but that nor Principle Weems’ warnings of your potential expulsion did nothing to deter you from fucking shit up for Jericho and it’s residence.

We don’t talk about the time you drove a forklift into Crackstone’s statue one Outreach day, toppling it over and cracking the head away from it’s body before using said head with the forklift and sending it crashing into the city hall. You got into some BIG trouble for that stunt.

No one knew how you became the person that you were but not many dared to ask in fear that it may bring up old wounds that you’d rather left alone. So when Wednesday decided that instead of deciding whether or not she should get close to you based solely on potentially fabled stories, she would go out of her way and join you in a joint effort of making the citizens of Jericho’s life absolute hell.

But there are days where she saw the softer side of you where you weren’t all crazy eyed or trigger happy. You were smart and willing aided her in her investigation about the Hyde and Laurel Gates; Even after nearly dying in the Gates’ family home. “Why are you still helping me? You nearly died.” She’d ask not long after Enid rightfully scolded her for being so careless with human life.

You shrugged, only to wince when you moved your clawed arm from protecting Wednesday. “I don’t mind getting a little hurt if it means bringing us closer to the truth and besides,” you pulled something out from your backpack, it was a small airtight sealed bag containing a clump of the Hydes fur, “I got you some more physical evidence.” Wednesday didn’t know whether to punch you for getting hurt in getting her more evidence or kiss you for getting hurt for her in getting more evidence.

[wetcatspellcaster]

I just found your work and let me just say that I am an absolute simp for Rosalie! She is such a wonderful character and love her paring with Astarion. Though I am very curious, what does Rosalie see in Astarion and vise versa? What do they love/like most about each other? Apologies If you have already answered this/feel free to not answer :) I hope you have and or are having a wonderful day!

oh hey anon! thank you for reading my work, and for asking a very fun question that allows me to be very self-indulgent.

under the cut to avoid long post bc honestly, I can ship them as much as I want but not everyone has to read that.

Game/Party Favours Rosalie:

Rosalie sees someone who essentially embodies the charisma she thinks she lacks (very funny to me, who knows his charisma score and her charisma score, after BG3 backed me into a corner and made Persuasion the dealbreaker of the game). She knows that her knowledge is reserved for ivory towers, she admires his street smarts, even if she doesn't agree with his worldview. She thinks he's very good at being a rogue, and she finds competency extremely attractive (I mean, come on, +17 to lockpicking? she had Knock and he literally never left her party. she just liked to watch).

She has a lot of shame, Astarion seems to her to be shameless. There is also some standard "oh boy, hottest person I've ever encountered likes me" serotonin, as she is flattered that she can catch his attention and hold it. She liked stretching her new tadpole-aided social muscles through a constant back-and-forth that made her feel challenged, desirable, and like someone other than who she was - he essentially helped her build herself a new mask without either of them realising it. She liked that he still wanted to be with her, after that was dismantled. In the Party Favours timeline when the world isn't ending, Astarion is one of the people capable of leading her astray and help her to behave recklessly (still without really being reckless, basically they have a lot of really fun nights out). Once things have mellowed out and Astarion's worldviews aren't "let's help slavers" or "let's kill 7000 people", Rose gives a lot more leeway to "let's break into this building", "let's drunkenly ruin this party", "let's liven up this dragon killing by talking to it first".

I feel like with Astarion I'm just repeating other people's arguments for other people's Tavs, but I really like shipping him with an unapologetically kind or lawful good person (Tav, Wyll, Karlach) just because I think it means he gets to experience kindness on a level he's never experienced before. In terms of what he sees in her: at first, a very easy person to manipulate, but who also holds the most power and status in the group - to his extreme frustration. Someone who starts out on the first day as kind of a wet blanket, but by three weeks in is dealing insane damage and killing people with Scorching Rays, making him reconsider his stance. He also sees someone who challenges his worldview, by refusing to compromise on a set of morals he thinks are stupid and should get her killed and then doesn't. She consistently forgives him and shows him a grace the world hasn't given him, until Act 3 when she doesn't. I think he thinks she's hot, I think getting yelled by said hot woman is still pretty sexy. then, he also thinks she has an effortless charisma at getting people to like her that he works very hard at (is this the same as what Rosalie thinks about him, yes, that's the joke!)

In the Party Favours timeline, he repeatedly tried to seduce her, and it didn't work, so I guess part of her appeal there is that she helped him without expecting anything else in return. She consistently helped him recover as a friend and helped him build a life, and there wasn't any sex involved whatsoever.

Pieces Still Stuck in Your Teeth Rosalie:

I put this as separate, because I think the exes dynamic does change things massively. There's all of the above, but I think they also just both represent to each other the lives they could've chosen, or the mistakes they wish they could have fixed. Rosalie mourns her former life, while Ascended!Astarion fetishises her morality because that's the one thing he doesn't have - a sense of purpose, a moral compass, a conviction, and also a guiding light. I do think they are kind of clinging to an alternate history where everything worked out perfectly, and they see that in each other - the number of times Rose mourns the happier person she could've been, it's nearly always tied up with Astarion. Rosalie (as she did once before) literally sees those tadpoled months as her peak, before another massive period of depression.

I also think that, come Act 3, there is the inverse of that - not just the life that could've been, but the second chance. The idea that you might be able to recapture a little of that former joy, even if it's different now, and even if you feel you don't deserve it. I think once they break through that preconception - of this person not as a person, but as an ideal or a nostalgia - and actually begin to see the real person underneath it again, is actually when their relationship can begin to flourish and just be... idk. a bit more normal, again?

[simpingandshitposting]

I Will Always Find You

Source

Dabi x f!Reader

A/N: I would just like to say. I don't understand why a minigun is called a minigun when there's absolutely nothing "mini" about it.😐

When I was picturing this scene in my head, I knew what the imagery was that I wanted to create, but I didn't know what the weapon was called. Googled it. And I was upset bc I was worried that my imagery wouldn't come across the right way since the name didn't match what it looked like😭 so I hope ya'll know what I'm talking about when I mention it lmao

Also, idk how often this is used or not but just in case, I wanna clarify that v/n means villain name :) or just use ur real name if you want lol

Anywaysss, as always feedback is appreciated and I hope u guys enjoy❤️

@haru-x-ren

Warnings⚠️: 18+, smut, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, creampie, kissing, groping, fingering choking, biting, hair pulling, rough/aggressive, begging, dacryphilia, praise kink mentions of blood and bruising.

Summary: After a mission gone-wrong, Dabi is taken away into police custody and you don't see him again for 3 years. When you do, he's a little different. Reconsidering his villain path and how it affects you. But most importantly, he's needy to feel what he's been missing out on for so long.

Word Count: 7.1k

Y/N quirk: "Vision". When activating your quirk, you can see and hear thru objects that abstruct your view. For example, you can see thru a wall and listen to the conversation happening in the other room as if you were standing there yourself. Your irises glow (any color you'd like) when activated. It's not a very flashy quirk but very useful to your partner in crime. It makes getting Intel so much easier as well as thoroughly planning out attacks. But to make up for the lack of flashiness, y/n likes to tinker with support items, much like Hatsume.

"Ready?" Dabi asked, raising a brow. You nodded your head with a big smile on your face. "You remember the signal?"

"You should know better than to come at us alone" You recited the line the two of you had gone over multiple times, mocking his tone of voice. The corner of his lips turned up into a small smirk. "Good girl." He paused, adjusting the metal cuffs on his sleeves. "Alright, let's go make some chaos, baby" he pressed a heavy kiss to your lips before pulling away and stepping towards the door of the large building. You lifted your right arm that held a device you made yourself, strapped to your wrist. A grappling hook released from the small cannon and hooked on to a ledge a few floors up. "Hey" you called out to him one last time. He turned his head to look at you. "Be careful, okay?" He smiled at you in a way that said "don't worry, everything will be okay." And he gave you a wink. With that, you clicked the button on the inside of your gloved palm, sending you up to where your device was hooked to.

Once you reached the ledge, you peeked thru the window, assuring that no one was in the room. Thankfully, the window was unlocked so you didn't have to make any extra noise by breaking the glass. Once you slipped thru the window, you snuck out of that room and into an empty hallway. You'd memorized the floor plan for this building, determining that a small broom closet on the second floor was right above where Dabi would be. You found said broom closet, double checking to make sure no one was there to see you. You closed the door to the small, compact room. You pulled out another, bigger device from your backpack. The one you always had on hand at every mission, full of all your little projects. This weapon is about as big as your torso, and very powerful. You position the legs of the weapon on the floor, and raise your hand to your neck. You press a small button on your necklace. Dabi's matching one vibrated against his collar bone, alerting him that you were in position. You activated your quirk, looking thru the floor and seeing the small group of people below. Pro-Heroes Kamui Woods and GunHead were in the room, surrounded by a few smaller up-and-coming heroes.

You watched as Dabi waltzes into the room below, catching the attention of the heroes. You angled your weapon so that once it breached the floor, it was headed straight at the two pros. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" Dabi spoke in a cocky tone of voice. That attitude of his you loved so much. "Dabi!" Kamui called out. He began to extend his tree-like arm in an attempt to capture him before he had a chance to attack, but Dabi was too quick. He immediately put up a wall of blue flames, separating him and the pro Heros. "Come on now. You should know better than to come at us alone." That was your cue. You pulled back the lever on the weapon in front of you, and hit the small red button on the side. There was a loud noise and you knew you had breached the floor. Your hit evidently missed GunHead, who had stepped out of the way only moments before, but hit Kamui head on.

He was on the floor, bleeding, and missing an arm. He cried out in pain and you grabbed the weapon, dropping thru the whole you had created. Once you landed with your knees bent, you stood up straight right next to Dabi. You grabbed the handle on the side of your weapon, holding it like a minigun and aiming it in their direction. You pulled the lever back in its original position, switching the weapon to rapid fire. You smiled wide. "Miss me?" GunHead started shooting in your direction, but Dabi was quick to extend the blue wall. Surrounding you both in flames. This was so none of the heroes could see you and pin point your exact location in the room. Of course a heros first priority is to keep people safe, so you knew full well that he wouldn't fire aimlessly into a room full of people without a definite target. But with your quirk, you could see thru the flames just fine. You immediately started firing your large weapon at the heroes, taking them all down so easily.

You and Dabi made a great team. When the two of you met, you were just joining the league of villains. Tho he had already been a member for well over a year at that point. Dabi trusted no one. But he somehow opened his cold, chained up heart and came to trust you immensely. Almost more than he trusted himself even. The two of you were true partners in crime. Creating more chaos together then either of you ever could have under the control of the league. You both had become feared among the majority of the population, with your relentless attacks against hero society.

We'll bring them all to their knees.

Something that had become almost a motto for you and Dabi. And neither of you could have ever imagined getting as far as you have.

As soon as you thought you're mission was over. Goal accomplished and message sent, someone came busting thru the wall to your left. An unexpected participant. You didn't have much time to react as you watched the hero students from U.A. coming in your direction. "Shit." You mumbled under your breath.

Dynamite was the first to charge you head on, throwing a blast that knocked you across the room. Deku wasn't far behind, managing to land a blow on Dabi. He got to his feet quickly and started fighting the young hero. Throwing balls of fire at him left and right.

You didn't plan for this. The two of you were supposed to be gone by the time any more heroes showed up. It threw you off and suddenly you couldn't focus. Dynamite charged at you again and suddenly a wave of blue flames knocked him from your trajectory. "STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER!" You heard Dabi scream as he threw Dynamite away from you. The look on his face was demonizing. He was angry. Angry that anyone dared to lay a hand on you. You were his. And he was extremely protective over what belonged to him. You were the only real home he'd ever known. And he'd be damned if he was gonna let some punk kid hurt you.

Shit was going south. You watched, tucked in a corner, as the look on Dynamite's face shifted to something more psychotic. "ILL FUCKING KILL YOU, SCAR FACE" He screamed, charging at Dabi. You finally come to your senses as you realize your boyfriend is facing two heroes all by himself. You start to internally panic, but keep your calm on the outside. You stagger to grab the weapon you dropped when being flung across the room. You aimed it high, rampaging the two of them with hot bullets. It distracted them just enough for Dabi to blast them both backwards and put up another wall of flames. You grabbed his arm and rushed out of the building. As soon as the two of you get just a few feet away from the building, you pressed another button that was hidden in the waist band of your pants, connected to your belt. It set off all of the bombs you hid in the building a few days prior. Dabi groaned in pain as you pulled him into a back alley way. "Always thinking ahead, aren't you doll?" He coughed on his words, spitting up blood in the process. "That should buy us some time, but not much." He clenched his abdomen where you noticed blood was starting to pool on his white shirt.

"shit, baby are you okay?" You put your hand over his on the wound. He coughed again. "I'm fine, but you gotta get outta here." Your gaze left his bloody torso and met his half-lided blue eyes. "What?" You said, confused. "I think they went this way!" You heard a faint voice calling in the distance. Dabi heard it too. His expression was unreadable. "You have to-" he coughed up more blood. "You have to go y/n."

"What? No! Touya I'm not leaving you here!" He was quick to retort. "I said GO!" He yelled at you. "...I'll be alright." His voice switched to a softer tone. You looked at him with wide eyes, a tear falling from one of them. "I'll find you, okay?" He put his hand to your cheek, wiping the tear away with his thumb. "I will always find you." He kissed your forehead with a heavy breath from his nose.

"Now leave and get somewhere safe, please." He pushed you away, and as he said those words, a few more heroes came around the corner into the alley way. Without taking even a second to hesitate, Dabi bursted out the biggest cloud of blue flames you'd ever seen him make. He was straining himself, pushing far past his limit. You could see it on his face. "GO!" He screamed. You didn't have time to think so you did as he asked. You ran.

You made it behind a building and used your grappling hook to get to the roof. Once on the rooftop, you peered over the edge. You weren't ready to leave him there, not yet. Even if he did beg you to go.

You watched as Dabi continued to push himself, and suddenly his flames died out, black smoke pouring from his skin. Dabi slumped over and fell to his knees. You were confused for a moment, and then you realized. You watched Erasure, hair defying gravity and eyes glowing red, wrapped Dabi in his white scarf. Dabi didn't have the energy to resist. He was badly hurt, and now vulnerable without his quirk. Tears began to well in your eyes and you covered your mouth with your hand, not daring to make a sound.

Dabi smirked with his head hanging low. "Long time no see, old friend." Erasure stepped closer to him. "Where is she?" Dabi stayed silent. Erasure tightened the hold on him, making him groan in pain. "Where. Is. She." He demanded, punctuating every word. Dabi laughed hysterically, lifting his head to meet Erasure's gaze. He spit blood in his face before he finally answered. "You'll never find her."

You heard the sound of a helicopter and frantically hid behind some stacked crates on the rooftop. Your breathing was shaky as you rummaged thru your bag, grabbing a black hoodie and quickly pulling it over your head so you couldn't be recognized immediately. Tears stained your cheeks as you thought about Dabi, down there all by himself. Sacrificing his freedom to protect you.

~

You managed to make it home, undetected. You walked into the little hideout that you and Dabi shared. It felt...empty...coming home without him. When you stepped thru the door, you noticed that one of you had left the tv on before heading out on your mission. The news was plastered on every channel.

Footage of Dabi being put in quirk-canceling cuffs and thrown into the back of a police car, hauled away to God knows where. The headline read "Infamous villain, Dabi, finally taken into police custody." You sat down on your couch, listening to what the female reporter had to say.

"Today there was yet another attack on a hero agency. This time pro Heroes GunHead and Kamui Woods falling victim to this week's attack." The camera panned to an ambulance with Kamui being lifted in on a gurney. You had a small smile at the sight of the hero, helpless and in pain. "There have been no deaths reported this time, but many injuries, including Kamui, Woods being badly injured in the attack." The camera panned back to the female reporter. "U.A. hero students, Deku and Dynamite, thankfully we're nearby on patrol when the attack occurred. The villain Dabi was captured by Erasure and is currently being taken down to the station for questioning." You sighed as the screen switched to someone's cellphone recording of Dabi being put in the police car again. "Whereabouts of his partner, v/n, are still unknown. Police are currently not releasing much more information than that. Stay tuned for more updates on the situation." The tv switched to a commercial. You put your elbows on your knees and buried your face in your palms. You gave a deep, pained sigh, letting a tear fall from your eyes, picturing Dabi right before his flames gave out. He fought so hard to give you a chance to get away. And in a way, you knew that was him reminding you how much he loved you.

You had a realization. Now that they had Touya...they wouldn't stop looking until they got you too. You wiped away your tears and walked into the bedroom you shared with Dabi. His clothes were still strewn all over the floor from that morning, bed still unmade. His phone charger still sprawled across the nightstand and his shirt that you slept in laying on the mess of sheets.

You walked past it all, not wanting to think about it. You dug thru your closet, finding a dark blue suitcase and a matching duffle bag. You began to pack it full of things. Clothes, toiletries, your tools and a few other items. You went into the back of your closet and removed the part of the wall that led to a hidden compartment. You grabbed the large stacks of cash and the fake ID's the two of you had prepared Incase you needed to run. You left his, and a couple stacks of cash there, just in case.

You threw all of the things in your bags and stared at his shirt that laid on the bed. It was his favorite shirt. For no other reason than the fact that you bought it for him. Even tho you ended up wearing it far more than he did, but he didn't mind. You grabbed the shirt and held it up to your nose. His scent was prominent on it.

No matter how many times you washed it, or how many times you wore it, the smell of him lingered on the fabric. You decided to take it with you, throwing it in your bag with everything else. You grabbed the burner phone you kept in your night stand and shoved it in your pocket. Then proceed with removing the SD card from your current phone and powering it off.

As you walked back out into the living room, you heard the news still going. The reporter was holding a microphone to the two young heroes. "WHEN I FIND THAT PSYCHO BITCH IM GONNA KILL HER!" Dynamite yelled into the mic, raging. Deku pulled him back by the arm. "Uh I- I think what Dynamite means is that we're gonna do our best to find v/n and keep this city safe" He beamed into the camera. You picked up the remote and turned off the tv before leaving out the back.

It was getting late and the sun was starting to set. You pulled your hood over your head and put on a face mask. You would have put on sunglasses too, but that would be suspicious at this time of day.

You walked to the nearest convenience store. Not very many people were inside, but just enough for you to be cautious. You quickly grabbed a few snacks and drinks, a bottle of ibuprofen and a box of hair dye. once up to the counter, you fake coughed a few times. Attempting to make them not question why you were wearing a face mask. You put all your stuff on the counter and picked a pack of gum from the lower shelf, as well as a blue lighter from the case next to you. "Can I get a pack of those too, please?" You pointed to a box of cigarettes behind the cashier. They turned, grabbing what you asked and scanning it. "Going on a trip?" The cashier gestured to the suitcase next to you, making small talk as they continued to scan the rest of your things. "Uh, yeah. Going home from visiting my parents." You lied. They just nodded their head and put all of your items in a bag.

"three thousand yen" they spoke, looking up at you. You pulled out your wallet and paid in cash. You headed out the door quickly with your bag, on your way to the nearest subway station.

You got there just in time for the last train to show up. You went up to the ticket counter, doing another fake cough like you did in the convenience store. "One ticket for Hiroshima please." You slid the money in the whole of the bullet proof glass, already knowing how much the ticket would cost. He handed you the ticket, not paying much attention to you. The train arrived shortly after and you got on with a small group of people.

You found yourself a seat in a back corner somewhere where there weren't very many people. Once your ass hit the seat, you let out an exhausted sigh, followed by a yawn. You check the time on your burner phone. It was 11:30 pm. You got comfortable and prepared for your 8 hour train ride out of the city.

This was a back up plan you and Dabi always had in case you ever needed an out. Neither of you ever thought you'd need to use it, but still kept it ready to go just in case. Although...you never thought you'd be sitting on this train without him.

You stared out of the window as the train began to move. Now that you had finally stopped moving, your adrenaline was wearing off and your entire body started to feel sore from being thrown across the room earlier in the day. You reached into your bag and grabbed the bottle of ibuprofen and Gatorade you just bought. You pulled down your mask and popped two pills in your mouth, taking a swig of the drink. You swallowed the pills and relaxed into your seat. Before long you ended up passing out from pure exhaustion and an adrenaline crash.

By the time you woke up, nearly all of the people that got on the train with you were gone, and it was an entirely new group of people. The sun was shining through the glass window, it was morning. You checked your phone. 7am.

"Next stop, Minami Ward, Hiroshima Prefecture." You heard a female voice call over the speaker. Your stomach was screaming at you, having not eaten anything since breakfast yesterday. You reached into your bag and grabbed the chips you'd bought at the convenience store.

~

After finally making it to your stop, you found a nearby motel, showing them your fake ID and paying for the room in cash. Once in your room you turned on the tv, searching for all the news channels. You were desperately trying to find anything about Dabi, but there was nothing. But you weren't completely surprised, why would any news channels cover something happening 7 prefectures away?

You were tempted to look it up yourself, but you didn't think it was safe yet to power up your cellphone. You dug thru your bag again, pulling out the box of hair dye you bought. You went into the motel bathroom and sighed. You opened the box, dumping its contents onto the counter. You didn't bother reading the instructions and just started mixing the products that you knew went together.

~

You stepped out of the shower, droplets of false color running down your skin. You stood in front of the sink and stared into the mirror at your new look. You felt your necklace vibrate, and out of habit you got excited. Did he manage to get away? Was he coming to find you? You pressed the button and vibrated it back. You waited a few seconds and hit it again. Still nothing. Your expression saddened, realizing that he was probably still in cuffs and with the police.

You'd hoped he'd have a plan and would come to find you soon, however long "soon" was.

~3 years later ~

It's been a long time since you've seen Dabi. After about 3 weeks, you bought a new phone and stopped using the burner. You went online and looked up the incident in Musutafu. The number of headlines and articles about Dabi being arrested were countless. You found out that they sentenced him to life in prison for all the people he's killed and destruction he's caused. There were YouTube videos of him in court and they made you cry. You knew you'd never be able to see him again and it shattered your heart. But there wasn't anything you could do about it.

After leaving the city, you spent a couple weeks at the motel. You considered getting back in the game after a while but it just didn't feel right without Dabi by your side. So you eventually settled on just living like a normal person. You got a job and an apartment with your new identity. All of your coworkers and neighbors have no idea who you truly are. They think you are some quirkless girl with a big family back home. The exact opposite of the truth. You hated this version of yourself but it was your best and only option. You'd gotten used to it after a while and after 3 years, it just became normal.

~

It was a Tuesday. It was like any other day. Wake up, go to work, come home, and do it all over again. It was late, around midnight when you'd finally started to be on your way home. You were exhausted and wanted nothing more than to just go to bed. As you were getting in your car, you felt your necklace vibrate. You always wore it because it, and his shirt were the only things that you had. You paused. This necklace hadn't vibrated in years. You put your hand on the necklace and you were about to hit the button to vibrate it back, but you didn't. You knew it wasn't him. There was no way it could have been him. The battery must have been acting up, or it's just shorting out because it's old. You made up excuses and waved it off like nothing. You ignored it and just headed on your way home.

You unlocked your apartment door and you walked in, it was freezing. Maybe you left a window open? Or forgot to turn the thermostat up before leaving? You flipped the light switch and set your bag down on the kitchen counter, throwing your keys next to it. You walked into the small hallway next to the kitchen and checked the thermostat. "63 degrees? Jesus" you mumbled outloud to yourself. As you were turning up the temperature, you heard something. It sounded like a groan coming from the other room. You froze. Was there someone in your apartment??

You turned around and activated your quirk that you haven't used in over a year. You peered into the living room, thru the wall. The lights were off. You saw that the window was open, and the silhouette of a person on your couch. You started to panic a little. You stepped back into the kitchen and grabbed one of your biggest knives.

You held the knife in front of you defensively and walked slowly back into the hallway. You turned the corner and quickly flipped the lights. You froze as the intruder on your couch raised his head to look at you. Your breath got caught in your throat and a tear fell from one of your eyes.

"Hey doll, miss me?" His words were strained and he clenched his abdomen in pain. You immediately dropped the knife, making a thud when it hit the carpeted floor. You ran over to the couch and landed on top of him, pulling him into the tightest hug imaginable. He groaned in pain, and you tried to pull away, realizing that you hurt him. But he wouldn't let you go. He tightened his hold on you and pulled you back into him, letting you know that he didn't care about the pain and just wanted to hold you.

You sobbed into his chest and he caressed your hair. You lifted your head to look at him. "How are you-" you began, but he answered before you finished. "You didn't think I'd let them keep me locked up forever, did you doll?" He smirked. You paused before asking him another question. "How did you find me?" You sniffled. He raised his hand to your face and wiped away your tears with the back of his knuckle. "Like I said, I will always find you." He pulled your face to his, forcing you to push up on your toes, and pressed a kiss to your lips. His hand tangled in the back of your hair and pulled you in to deepen the kiss. You relaxed your weight on him and he groaned again. You pulled away from the kiss and this time he let you. "You're hurt" you stood from the couch. He sat up straight, holding his abdomen again. "It's nothing serious, just got a little beat up on my way out" he laughed and then groaned in pain again. "Come here, let me help" you held out your hand and his gaze lifted to meet yours. He sighed and took your hand as he stood from the couch. He let you lead him to the bathroom. You tapped the counter top twice, signalling for him to take a seat while you dug thru the cabinet for your first aid kit.

Dabi sat up on the counter and proceeded to take off his shirt, letting out yet another groan when he lifted his arms. You looked over, and your face turned a light shade of pink. It had been so long since you'd seen him, and you were still just as attracted to him as you used to be. He leaned back against the mirror and closed his eyes, relaxing his previously tense muscles. You took out all the supplies you needed and set them on the counter next to where he was. Your eyes roamed his torso, noticing all of the dark purple bruises that littered the healthy portions of his skin. The small drips of blood that leaked from where it was sewn together. You grabbed a soft wash cloth and soaked it in warm water. You leaned over him and gently cleaned the blood. He opened his eyes and they roamed your features, studying you. "You look different." His voice was calm. Your eyes darted up to his for just a second before returning to his torso. "Yeah, so do you" you gestured to his now white hair from the lack of dyeing it while in prison.

a small smile crept up on his lips. "You still look just as beautiful as the last time I saw you, y/n." Your words got caught in your throat and your face turned red. All you could do was give him a smile while you put the bloody rag in the sink. You proceeded to put some pain revealing cream on all of his bruises, making him flinch in pain every time you put a little bit of pressure.

"There, that should help." You wiped off your hands with a clean rag and stood up straight. Without hesitation, he pulled you into another hug. He wrapped his arms around you and squeezed tight, burying his head in your neck. "I missed you so much baby" his words sounded pained. You'd never heard him talk like that before. Like he was afraid to let you go. You leaned into the hug and kissed the skin on his shoulder where your head was buried. "I missed you too, Touya." He let out a deep sigh, hearing you call him that. You were the only person he allowed to use that name, or even knew about it, and he hadn't heard it since the last time he saw you. "Don't ever leave me like that again, okay?" A tear began to roll down your cheek. "I promise, I won't." He squeezed you a little tighter.

The two of you stayed that way for a little while before you finally pulled away. "You're probably starving, let me order some food." You wiped away the tears that stained your skin and walked out of the bathroom. Dabi hopped off the counter and followed close behind you. You made your way into the kitchen where you'd set your bag and began to rummage thru it, looking for your phone. "I know how much you like wings, and there's this chicken place around the corner that is just SO good." He watched as you opened your phone and started ordering food, smiling at your excitement.

~

"Oh my God, those were so good!" Dabi boasted about the food. "I know right? Some of the best wings I've ever had" you picked up both your plates and took them over to the sink, beginning to wash them. You heard him stand from his seat and begin to walk towards you. "I missed eating real food" he joked. You let out a small laugh. "Yeah, I don't imagine prison food tasted all that good." You felt his arm wrap around your waist and his chest press against your back. "You know what I missed even more tho?" His voice got quiet, almost a whisper. He pushed your hair aside and laid a soft kiss at the nape of your neck. Your face immediately flushed as you shut off the water. "W-what?" Your voice was a bit shaky. He immediately bit into the soft skin of your neck, forcing a whimper from your lips. "Those pretty sounds you used to make for me." He smirked against your skin and kissed the bite mark he left. You bit your bottom lip and closed your eyes as you felt his hands trail up the sides of your body. He grabbed at your hips and tugged you backwards into him, pulling your ass against the growing bulge in his pants. He kissed your neck again. "Every night, I pictured that adorable look on your face when I used to fuck you dumb." His voice was a low growl, digging his fingers into the Doughy skin at your hips. "Tell me, doll..." His hands slipped inside your shirt and his hips pushed you against the counter forcefully. "...how often did you think about me?" He found your breasts and palmed them thru your bra. "e-every day" you let out a small moan and leaned your head back against his shoulder. "Every s-single day Touya." Your face was bright red and you felt the slick gathering in your panties. You clenched your thighs together when you felt one of his hands push past the waist band of your pants and dip into your folds. You hadn't been touched in so long and his warm fingers felt like heaven. He rubbed slow circles around your clit and you pushed your ass against his crotch. Letting out small quiet whines as he worked your sensitive bud. Your hand curled around his arm and held on for support, gripping at his muscles. He loved the way your body responded to his touch, always so sensitive for him, and only him. He continued kissing your neck, marking his territory. "Can't wait to feel that tight little pussy of yours fuck-" he whispered in your ear, breathing out a small moan at the end just from the thought. "All mine" he growled, shoving two fingers inside of you and making you moan loud. He loved watching you whine and squirm under his touch. It was his favorite thing.

He continued shoving his fingers in and out of you, your first orgasm approaching quickly. Your body was slightly quivering and he wrapped an arm right under your breasts, keeping you up straight. He shoved his hand inside your bra and started twisting your nipple between his finger and thumb. He felt your walls clench around his digits and he knew you were close. He curved his fingers and that was enough to send you over the edge. "ngh- fuck!" You yelled, breathing heavy and continuing to moan as you rode out that orgasm, creaming all over his fingers. His pace slowed and then he pulled out of you. He dragged his hand out of you pants and shoved those two fingers in your mouth, making you suck on them. And you did so gladly. He smirked and whispered in your ear once more. "Always so good for me, even after all this time." He kissed the base of your ear and then gently tugged on your lobe with his teeth.

He pulled his fingers out of your mouth and turned you around to face him. He could tell your legs were a little weak, so his hands cupped the back of your thighs and he lifted you to straddle his waist. "let's finish this in bed" you wrapped your arms around his neck and leaned against him as he carried you to your bedroom, peppering soft kisses on his neck the whole way there. You landed on the bed with him on top of you. He pressed a heavy kiss to your lips, shoving his wet tongue down your throat. Your hands snaked into his white hair, pulling him closer to you. The kiss was hungry, like you'd both been starving for each other the past 3 years. And you were. His hands slid inside your shirt again, fingers grazing over your familiar soft skin. He pulled your shirt over your head, and unclipped your bra, pulling it off as fast as he could so he could return his lips to yours. Once your breasts spilled free, both of his hands cupped them and squeezed while your tongue continued to dance with his.

He grinded against you, dragging his clothed erection across the growing wet spot on your pants. He moaned into the kiss, desperately looking for friction. He pulled away from you again, practically ripping your pants off. He threw them across the room and then eagerly removed his own.

When he pulled down his boxers, you watched as his dick bobbed under its own weight. The same piercings lining his shaft, just like you remembered. You bit your bottom lip, remembering what the metal bars felt like dragging against your walls. His lips crashed on yours yet again, like he couldn't get enough of you. You felt his tip slide against your wet folds, coating himself in the sticky liquid before you felt him breach your entrance. The sound he made while going in was heavenly. he gave a throaty moan, feeling you so tight around him. And you were indeed tight, not having felt him in so long. You whimpered as you felt his large member stretch you open to accommodate his size. Only half way in and you were already seeing stars. He pushed in more, bottoming out as you both cried out in pleasure. He didn't move for a minute, savoring the feeling of being buried so deep inside you. You flexed around him a few times, walls fluttering. He was trying desperately not to cum on the spot.

"Fuck I missed you so much ngh-" his words trailed off as his lips connected to your neck. He began to pull out of you, struggling bc of how tight you gripped him. He moved slow at first but it didn't take him very long to grow impatient. He stood on his knees and grabbed your legs, pushing them as far up as they would go, folding you in half. You cried out very loud as he began an ungodly pace. "Nghuh fuck- oh fuck-" he whimpered, wrapping a hand around your throat. He squeezed tight and your breath caught in your lungs. Your mouth opened wide, letting out strained moans of pleasure. Your eyes rolled back in your head and he leaned over you, spitting in your mouth. You swallowed it and then stuck your tongue out for another, which he graciously gave you. Normally, he didn't rush. He'd edge you and make you beg him to fuck you. But right now? He felt like 3 years was a long enough wait and both of you deserved to feel good.

He was approaching an orgasm quickly, and the way he was abusing your g-spot, you were not far behind. "Ugh fuck- Touya, please I'm g-gonna- NGH-UH!" You screamed, cutting yourself off with the massive orgasm that plagued your body. The way you cried out for him sent him over the edge and he filled you to the brim with his white, sticky cum. You both panted heavily as his pace slowed just a bit. He removed his hand from your throat, leaving a bit of a bruise behind. He leaned down to kiss you again, not as aggressive this time. "I'm not done with you just yet, doll" he pulled out of you and flipped you over on your stomach. He watched the cum leak out of you and groaned at the sight, making his dick twitch and stay hard. Feeling a bit more satisfied from one orgasm, he decided to tease you a bit. He rubbed his tip over your clit, ghosting over your entrance. You moaned and pushed backwards, trying desperately to get him back inside you. He smacked your ass hard, making you yelp and turning the skin red. He squeezed it with both hands, kneading it like dough before smacking it again. Tears started to well in your eyes and you pushed back on him again. "I w-want more" you whined. He continued to rub against your clit. "What's the magic word?" He teased. "P-please" you said quietly. You felt him grab a chunk of your hair and yank you backwards. "say it like you mean it doll," the tears fell down your cheeks as you cried out for him. "PLEASE! Please ngh-" before you even got to finish your words, he was buried all the way in you once again. "Good girl" he praised, pounding into you. The sound of slapping sweating skin filled the room along with your cries of pleasure and his loud moaning. He held on tight to your hair and smacked your ass again and again. The sensation he was creating was overwhelming and another orgasm was coming fast. The squelching sound of your already cum filled pussy being pummeled was getting louder.

He leaned over you, pushing your face into the mattress, his chest flush with your back. He reached around and started rubbing rough circles on your clit. Your walls tighten around him and you screamed out again. "That's right baby, cum all over my dick fuck-" He sped up, making your orgasm last longer then it should have. He whined as you milked him and he reached his second orgasm. He repeated a sting of curses as he filled you up once more. Watching it pour out past him at the sheer amount that he released. You continued to cry and whine, still coming down from the last little bit of your climax. He pulled out of you slowly, he felt so sensitive. You were absolutely weak beneath him, just the way he liked it. That same adorable fucked-out expression he remembered plastered all over your face. He ran his hand over your ass, giving the red skin a gentle squeeze. "Let's get you cleaned up." He left the room and came back with a warm wash cloth. He continued to watch as your pussy pushed out all of his cum and watched it drip onto the sheets. He wiped it away and got you all nice and clean.

You were too fucked out to be coherent on your own, so he turned you back over to lay on your back, getting you under the blanket. He made sure the door was locked and the lights were off before coming back to the room.

By the time he came back, you'd gained a little bit of sense and could form words. He climbed into bed next to you and you snuggled up to him. He wrapped his arm around you and let you lay on his chest.

You could hear his steady heartbeat and it was the most comforting sound you'd ever heard. "Hey, Touya?" Your voice was quiet. "Yes doll?" He turned his focus to you. You lifted your head from his chest, looking up at him. "Are you planning on getting back in the game?" You asked, referring to the devious things the two of you used to do together. He let out a sigh, thinking about his answer. "I think we should lay low for a while... But-" he paused, finding his next words. "I don't ever wanna put you in that kind of danger again. Or have to leave you again..." He sighed again, trying to figure out how to explain himself. He shifted a little bit, facing more towards you. "I don't wanna give up on our goal." He tucked some hair behind your ear. "But I wanna keep you safe. You are the most important thing to me, y/n" he gave you a weak smile. He didn't used to talk like this. Being in prison and away from you for so long must have really done something to him. You nodded your head and laid back on his chest, hearing his heart beat again. "I'll go wherever you go, so we'll figure it out together. But no matter what I'll still be by your side, okay?" You closed your eyes, getting comfortable. "Okay." He smiled, rubbing comforting circles on your shoulder. what did he do to deserve someone who was so loyal to him and willing to follow him anywhere. He didn't know, but he was happy he found you nonetheless.

[admirableadmiranda]

I don’t get why so many JGY stans think the twist abt NHS “came out of nowhere” bc be was too “clumsy, awkward & pathetic.” Chinese literature is full of characters who try to get their opponents to underestimate them. Sun Tzu straight up says “when strong, you must appear weak” and his supposed descendant Sun Bin defeated his opponent Pan Juan by pretending to be mad.

I am sure at least some of it is being mad because they don't want to believe their pathetic meowmeow could be outmaneuvered. Nie Huaisang's manipulations are subtle, but visible on a reread or even a rewatch where they do make him slightly more blatant (and have Wei Wuxian call him out directly) in CQL.

Please, allow me to, for a moment, gush about Nie Huaisang. I'd say both, but part of my enjoyment of my lu cha biao is his inability to measure up to my Headshaker. Jin Guangyao may be an awful, awful excuse of a human being but I enjoy him as he is. A dumpster fire.

Nie Huaisang is a lovely character who understands exactly how to bend and weave with the challenges thrown beforehand. And you can see how he'll get there as early as his appearance in the Cloud Recesses classes, but it is a very fun take on the character archetype. He uses these skills to get out of classes and study in order to pursue his passions. He would rather spend his life catching birds, fishing, painting fans and enjoying art. He has this considerable skill to assess people and situations and he solely uses it to further his own pleasuremongering. I love it. I wish more of these characters would exist.

If I didn't have to work for money to support my family, I would rather live a life like his. I want to create and enjoy, not worry about working or being renowned.

But I digress. I find him fascinating because he really does not use these skills beyond furthering his own preferred life to live until the death of his beloved brother. And that is the catalyst he needs to shift from peaceful pleasuremonger to scheming mastermind who understands how to hide in plain sight. Again, Jin Guangyao never even suspected him until he was dying in the temple. I am certain if you asked his opinion of Nie Huaisang even a day before, it would have been complementary and entirely blind to the true character of a man he thought he had completely understood and subsequently written off.

As I think about it, it is quite amusing how literally something that Jin Guangyao often took advantage of is simultaneously his biggest weakness. He does not reconsider his impression of people once he thinks he understands them. He underestimates Mo Xuanyu's drive for revenge, he never considers Sisi's knowledge of him a threat and he never ever thought that Nie Huaisang had seen through his guise. He likes hiding behind his charming dimples, but he is unable to recognize when others do the same. His arrogance is very clear: he literally thinks that no one is better than he is at playing these games.

And he is wrong. And he dies for it. As he should have the first time someone saw under his mask. Jin Guangyao did a masterful job of using the blood of innocents and crocodile tears to build himself a shining palace on the sands. But just as a palace on sand should have, it fell apart the second the winds blew for in the end it had no foundation.

I unfortunately have not had much of a chance to read a lot of Chinese literature yet, but I am delighted to know that one of my favorite characters is an archetype. When you have stories that have political intrigue and power grabbing and scheming, you need characters like him. The ones who can play the game under the schemers precisely because they never look closely enough to see the seams in the character.

Nie Huaisang and Jin Guangyao both played the same game, but the Headshaker was always the superior player in the end.

[danteinthedevildom]

yes! i hate it when people say belphie doesnt care for mc, this is a personal opinion but i feel like even if we werent related to lilith (and somehow we came to life again) he would be close to us, and try. seeing how the people he cares about the most react to someone he thought was just a human dying would probably push him to get to know MC. i know some people also think and argue that beel sees MC as a replacement for lilith too; but i know 100% he doesnt, he hasnt been able to verbally talk about his sisters passing to anyone, i mean almost right after she died belphie was taken away and beel assumed he was in the human world on "buisness", so for beel to openly talk about lilith with us as much as he does it feels special. i know he sees mc as their own person because of how much hes able to share with us, beel talking with mc about his feelings means hes able to finally move on, not to say that he'll forget about her, but he knows hes ready to finally stop beating himself up for it yk? i feel like people were also conflicted about seeing belphie as someone who cares for mc, especially the 180 he does when he finds out we're liliths relative; but belphie has had so much trauma, seeing the person he loved the most die, being separated from his brothers for years and years, etc. he was locked away with his mental illness for a long time, the anger bottled up and he took it out on mc, of course it explains it but it doesnt excuse it, you can still continue to hate belphie idc but i feel like he loves mc more than the other brothers do because of it, its the same thing with beel, mc allowed both of them to cope and talk to them about their sisters passing, yk?

Honestly the whole of Chapter 16 and associated fallout is p. controversial simply bc of it being us that it happens to; the game's written for us to imprint on the MC, and because of that, some scenes - like Belphie's betrayal and his glee at having killed MC - becomes very, very personal. It's very easy after that to become biased against a character, because there's genuine emotional scarring that we're left with as players that the game then just... fails to acknowledge to its fullest. (Which is why we get so many "MC might have forgiven Belphie but I haven't" fics on AO3.)

But to say that Belphie doesn't care for MC is just. Wrong. And I can def. get your annoyance on that!

He didn't care for MC to begin with, yes; MC was a random human he knew nothing about, a ticket to freedom and the first step into enacting revenge for something he's carried with him for millenia. They didn't matter to him outside of that because he never got to see them - or spend actual time with them - outside of the short visits they could afford to update him on their pact progress. That's undeniable.

But to say that he still doesn't ignores the entire point of the Lilith revelation. Being related to her gives Belphie something to connect with MC over. It gives him a reason to overcome his hatred of humanity and to bond with MC in general - which is selfish, yes, and kind of shitty, true, but so much of Belphie's (admittedly misplaced) anger comes from being a survivor of an incredibly one-sided war and (arguably, in his mind) the reason Lilith died to begin with. Because Beel saved him instead of her.

It's not like any of them were ever given a good way to cope with the trauma of the Fall, or Lilith's death. It's not like any of them even knew her actual fate until Chapter 16. Belphie's way of coping was to become apathetic, and to try and place the blame onto something he could take action against.

To him, that meant humanity. Because she fell in love with a human. Because they'd already fought God and lost, so he wasn't going to get closure there - but maybe ending the cause for her death would help the hurt.

He hated humans because of Lilith. In the realm of good story-telling, the best way to end that hatred is likewise through Lilith. Stories are best when they have that cyclical nature to them - especially since it can then transition into Belphie overcoming his trauma (and Lilith's death) through humanity.

So, yeah; it's a selfish reason to get close to someone, to take back the really horrific thing you were going to do, but all of Belphie's anger stemmed from the Fall and what he perceived as her death. Finding out that she didn't actually die? That she became human - became the very thing he wanted to destroy - and lived out a long life? That she had children, and that her family line is still alive in MC? Of course that's going to stop him dead in his tracks. And of course he's going to want to get close to MC, the last remaining fragment of the sister he's dedicated his entire life post-Fall mourning.

Belphie's an incredibly apathetic character by nature. He doesn't care about a lot of things, and everything he cares about is overshadowed by how much he loves Lilith. He needs that connection to get him out of his natural apathy. He cares about Lilith above all else; he'll care about MC at the drop of a dime if they're anything to do with her.

But that's not a bad thing. It means there's an opportunity for him to genuinely get to know who MC is, in a positive light.

It's an opportunity for him to try and make a connection with MC that simply wouldn't have existed otherwise, and through them, to finally, finally put his memory of Lilith to rest. And he does! He gets to know MC, gets to know why Beel adores them so much - outside of just being "Lilith's descendant" - and ends up loving them for who they are.

He puts his hatred of humanity and his single-minded attachment to Lilith behind him, and he still cares for MC. He wouldn't do this if he'd really not formed some sort of bond with them before that point. If he only cared for them because they're a fragment of Lilith, then they'd mean nothing to him once Lilith wasn't such a fervent part of his daily life.

I think the game's just... really bad at showing that, however. You put it really well when you called it a 180, because in all honesty? The game glosses over it much too quickly, and doesn't do a totally good job explaining the logic behind why he'd change his mind so fast.

There's not enough time spent on allowing MC - and the player - to overcome the emotional wreckage of Chapter 16 + fallout. We're not given the chance to process it before Belphie has, to build up a natural relationship with him that transitions slowly from him seeing MC as a Lilith-connection to him seeing them as their own, defined person. It's way too easy to still be emotionally hung up on it while he seems perfectly fine and dandy.

On your bit abt him overcoming it even without the connection to Lilith - I agree tbh! There is a lot Belphie would do for Beel, and I genuinely think seeing how against him Beel is after killing MC, even if they're brought back to life, would ruin him. Belphie being locked up, trying to convince Beel that he was doing the right thing, only for Beel to disagree with him and show genuine anger/disgust, would knock the world from under his feet. If he thought trying to hurt MC would make him lose Beel too - if Beel pleaded with him to just play nice, because he can't choose between them both, not again - he'd likely (albeit begrudgingly) postpone his intended revenge plot.

And he'd try to stay bitter, and for a long time he likely would - but then he'd see how happy Beel is with MC around, and how much it means to Beel that they seem to get along, and how much Beel opens up to them about Lilith, and he'd start to... reconsider. Just a little. Just a bit. Moment by moment, day by day, until he realises that MC isn't a replacement for Lilith, but that they bring something to the table that the brothers have been missing for a long, long time.

Which would afford Belphie the moment of catharsis; where he finally, on a quiet night, opens up about the Fall. How he felt, how angry he is, how helpless. How much he misses her, how the pain and hurt consumes his every thought. And then the player would get the chance to overcome the emotional strain with Belphie, showing him that his anger shouldn't be aimed at humanity when his Father is the one at fault, and Belphie, very quietly, admitting that they're right.

It could work, and work well. It's just a point of finding - and hitting - the right story beats.

On the topic of Beel - honestly, the concept that he sees MC as a replacement for Lilith is just... I personally couldn't imagine it. I can see how someone else could - being her descendant, the attic sandwich club, their little escapade together once Belphie's back in with the family - but that includes seriously misreading/ignoring a lot of Beel's character arc/development.

Beel talks to MC about Lilith and Belphie way before he knows anything about their relation to her. He sees a lot of her in them, yes - he mentions this a few times, I think, in relation to little things they do - but he also sees a lot of what he wants to be in them - which is best seen in their ability to defend both himself and Luke, which be very subtly compares to his own inability to save both Lilith and Belphie.

To Beel, MC stands as something a little idealised. MC is everything good he saw in Lilith (as well as some of the things he loves most about Belphie), and everything he wishes he could have been. MC is a reason to be better, stronger, more capable - both so he can protect them the way they protect others, and so he can feel as if he's on their level.

But that doesn't mean he sees them as a replacement to the people he's lost. It's arguable that he's projecting, sure, I'll admit that; he sees things he misses most of the people he's lost in MC, and I'm sure forming a bond with them helped him cope while he was without Belphie. But MC is still always MC to him. They're always still their own person, and someone he cares for because of that fact.

Beel cares too much about his family to replace them with someone else. Lilith meant too much to him as a person for him to look at MC and actually see Lilith. He misses her, not the idea of her. He feels guilt that he couldn't save her. His trauma revolves almost entirely around the failure of (self imposed) duty and the subsequent loss of life. His Survivor's Guilt is the main reason Beel can't put her memory to rest - because he's constantly haunted by the thought that he could have saved her.

His trauma, the way it is, does not create a setting where he would believably see MC as a replacement for Lilith. He's all too aware that she's gone. He's all too aware that he lost something he can never get back that day. Her memory is special to him, and being unable to talk about her hurts him because that's a bit like killing her off for good.

MC can't replace Lilith, even being Lilith's descendant, and I genuinely can't believe that Beel would even want them to. He's so defensive over Belphie and Lilith, even just over the memory of them; to suggest that MC could replace one of them I feel would anger him more than anything. Not only because it's an insult to Lilith, but because it's an insult to the person MC is. To the person Beel admires.

With just how much he cares about Lilith, I think Beel's enhanced attachment to MC is more the steadfast defence of her lineage to make up for what he couldn't do for her. He still sees MC as their own person, it's just that now... now he has a chance to make up for what he failed at before. And bit by bit, he can learn to forgive himself. Can learn to stop blaming himself for something that was never his fault to begin with.

Belphie and Beel have a special relationship with MC because MC is a direct link to Lilith that helps them overcome their individual Lilith-related traumas. They're naturally going to be closer to MC due to this, yeah, but that's... not the only reason they're close to MC. To try and push down everything they feel and do with MC to "it's only because MC is Lilith's descendant" is to. Well. A) make an incredibly unsatisfying story and character development, but also B) completely ignore that MC helps them bury the memory Lilith. MC helps them move on. Their care and love for MC is what helps them finally let go - to stop living in the past, in hurt, and to finally take a step forward to a future without the weight of Lilith's death constantly burdening them.

Like. If Solmare had just spend a little more time on these two, that might be clearer. Because it's definitely there! And it's why I love Belphie and Beel so, so much. But it's also fully understandable why some players still really dislike Belphie, or why they're not convinced that Belphie/Beel see MC as anything outside of Lilith, bc the game does kind of fail on that a little by rushing a bit too much. Just. Aagh!! You know?

I could honestly go on abt them for hours. So I should prolly stop here before I go on too long adfgh.

[captainunderkrupp]

give us forbidden hickory lore?!?!?! (about how hes a bounty hunter, stuff like that?)

:3c ok let’s see

he’s a family first kind of guy. you know, protect the ones he loves before literally anything else... including possibly hurting others. (i mean, he was willing to hunt down a queen and turn in her string to keep him and his brother safe...) i hc that the theoretical avalanche did happen, but a lot earlier, and it separated hickory and dickory from any other yodeling trolls. they ended up having to take care of each other from then on, and probably their protectiveness of each other is stronger than anything that might make them reconsider what they do. 

(at least until Poppy and Branch XD )

he and his brother are REALLY good at disguises. i imagine he’s had some looks like his concept art, and he’s usually the front man and gets disguised by his brother, who is probably really good at sewing and other costuming stuff. hickory probably does any kind of building that’s necessary for that. he also is pretty good at impressions but country is the best, tho that’s bc he started adopting the accent properly once he realized he likes country

he’s probably not the type to take a dead or alive job, he’s a bounty hunter not an assassin. that being said, i would not be surprised if he’s had to fight someone for his life before, especially when he wasn’t as skilled as he currently is in canon. (on the flip side, dickory has definitely killed a troll, and probably to protect hickory)

he’s strong. really strong. pick up and carry poppy, branch, biggie AND a heavy wooden door at a full run strong. so is dickory, tho their sizes mean hickory can usually win at wrestling or something if they fought. (all trolls are weirdly strong for their size, but he’s like, just a bit over on the edge of strong for a troll.)

he mostly knows their world’s equivalent of german (his first language) and english, but he also is passable at a couple other languages, just enough that he could probably fool someone who has heard/started to learn the language before, but not a native speaker. dickory only knows enough of these languages to follow conversation. 

dickory could be a spy if he had to. hickory has probably distracted a person while dickory sneaks around and grabs them before. dickory is scary quiet and really fast, to the point where you don’t even know he’s there when he’s standing right behind you sometimes. hickory is also pretty fast but he’s not nearly so quiet, so he usually is the go-to distraction if they ever have to pull something.

they are REALLY GOOD at tracking. it’s why they specialize in bounty hunting as opposed to other jobs they could pull. they can usually figure out where a troll is going to go next if they have even just a little bit of information, and can easily track them down from there. bc of their skills, hickory is usually the one to focus on tracking, and dickory covers their own tracks in case other people are on their targets tail. 

hickory and dickory are their real names, and they usually use them. however, they do use different last names and nicknames when they have to go undercover. hickory just worked really well for the pop trolls suddenly appearing in lonesome flats. (this is probably the first time they’ve used their real names in a while, and are more well known as the yodelers by their employers and anyone who might have a bounty on their head)

i think the reason hickory was turned so fast to helping poppy was partially because they were so friendly and nice, and partially bc this job was mostly coerced. see,  think he sort of fell for poppy and branch (brickoppy is my JAM) when not only did they treat him like the way he was used to family treating him (memories of home, and also how he interacts with dickory. seriously pop trolls are very touchy and friendly it’s kind of ridiculous) they also were more interesting to him than some of their previous targets. seriously it’s easy to not get attached to someone who you know murdered someone, it’s harder when you know their only crime is existing. (i know pop trolls have a bad rap in that world, but rock trolls were starting to get that same sort of reputation...) also sometimes you hang around some ppl who not only are they proud of their own music, they defend others’ rights to have their own music and are willing to learn from others, as opposed to the person who threatened to take away your music if you didn’t make sure to fight other bounty hunters you might have worked with before. (seriously tho i think at first he was like ‘eh, neat song, and it’s nice that the one appreciates country, but they’re just pop trolls. i’ll get the string and leave’ to watching poppy learn and appreciate music and realizing that if he supports her, they might all have a chance to survive

i would not be surprised if he has released some ppl before tho. but he’s probably come to an agreement with dickory about it before, never just told them to leave. he knew he couldn’t change dickory’s mind about this, their heritage, their culture. that’s the one thing dickory would never back down on trying to keep, besides his brother. it was always ‘hey this person got framed we’re just gonna go find a different bounty’ never ‘WHAT ARE YOU DOING HICKORY’ before this. also it was like. a split second decision, i think. he’d been contemplating, possibly subconsciously, up to that point, but when he finally had to make a decision... well. he made it. hence another reason why dickory was so shocked.

oh wow that got long. hope it makes sense tho!

[rokutouxei]

the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

ikemen vampire: temptation through the dark theo van gogh / mc | T | [ ao3 link in bio ]

The challenge seemed pretty simple: to try to befriend the university bookshop’s most sour employee, Theo van Gogh. As a literature major with a boatload of book recommendations on her back, it ought to be a simple task indeed. But as she uncovers what lies between Theo’s pages, the more she finds it harder to become closer to him without having to put the feeling directly into words. What can she learn from Theo about what it means to stay—and how can she teach Theo about what it means to let go? | written for ikevamp big bang 2020!

[ masterpost for all chapters ]

CHAPTER 9 OF 22

You will let my tender hook Catch the folded darkness inside you, let me occupy The dented place at the base of your throat. - "One Life", Carlomar Arcangel Daoana

--

She wakes up late.

Comically late.

No hangover, thank god—but it’s 11am and she’s dressed in lent pajamas in a bed that isn’t her own. She shoots up to sitting position in a second, and standing in a minute, trudging out the room to the bathroom at the end of the hall.

By the time she’s up and out of the room, a little more awake, Dazai and Arthur have already long gone, the only remnants of their presence the bit of glitter that they had wiped onto the sofa they nestled in.

And text messages.

She squints when she reads it, not because she had a hard time reading what it said, but—because she couldn’t believe what it said.

A series of text messages from Dazai:

[ 7:23 | Dazai ] ur still asleep but ur friend kinda hot

[ 7:24 | Dazai ] ofc I woke up first but his eyelashes tho???

[ 8:32 | Dazai ] pls tell me he’s not a douche bc im rly gonna jump him

[ 9:03 | Dazai ] mgonna jump him

[ 10:19 | Dazai ] abt to find out if he’s got the magnum sized dong u promised

Oh, god, what has she done.

With a groan, she heads down the hallway, phone securely in the pocket of the sweatpants, to see Vincent and Theo preparing a meal in the kitchen; Theo preparing some sort of fillet (fish? Chicken?) and Vincent frying some onions and garlic on the stove, filling the kitchen with a nice aroma.

“Good morning,” she says softly, as she shuffles onto one of the dining table chairs.

“Thought you died,” Theo says with a snort; but once he turns around to face her, all derision goes away in his face and is replaced by a quiet surprise.

Vincent beams as he turns to get the fillets from Theo. (It’s chicken.) “Good morning. Did you sleep well? No headache?”

She shakes her head. “Nope, I’m good. Thanks for letting me sleep here last night and for the clothes.”

“Of course, no problem at all,” Vincent answers, turning back to the pan. The chicken makes a sizzle as it meets the oil.

Theo is still staring at her with an odd look on his face.

“Earth to Theo?” she calls out, waving her hand in front of her. “Something wrong?”

“Broer. Why did you lend her my clothes.”

Oh.

“You know how most my shirts are, paint-stained in all the weird places.”

She feels the cling of the cotton around her skin so differently, so suddenly. Oh.

“She wouldn’t have minded, she was drunk.”

That’s correct, but—

Vincent smiles at Theo, the kind of smile one makes when they can see through someone; she’s filled with a kind of relief at knowing that Vincent can do that to Theo. Maybe the man isn’t an impenetrable a character after all. “No need to be shy, Theo.”

“I am not,” he insists, finally tearing his gaze away from her and heading to the sink to wash the used chopping board and the knife. “I just don’t want her wearing my stuff.”

She smirks. He is shy. True, she didn’t get the opportunity to think about what she was putting on last night because she was so tired and knocked out by the alcohol, but…if that was the price she had to pay to see this side of Theo she doesn’t have the opportunity to witness often, then it was worth it. Oh, the ever put-together Theo, brought to his knees by only one person in the world, the one he trusts the most: his brother.  “Is it because your personality is contagious?” she teases, “wouldn’t want to catch that.”

He answers her with a glare. “Reverse. It’s your stupidity that’s contagious.”

“Oh, we’re pretty much equally as stupid, Theo. No need to worry.”

“We are not,” he says, and then Vincent elbows him carefully.

“You really should be a little gentler to your friends,” Vincent comments, as he turns the fillet onto its other side.

Theo grumbles something unintelligible and it makes her laugh. Sitting in the kitchen, watching the two brothers side by side with their back to her as they prepare—she checks the clock—lunch for the three of them, she hums, content. She’s lived alone for all her life here in the campus, and it was one she looked forward to after living in a house crammed with people for most of her life. But sitting here, watching them share the chores and maybe have a little banter with each other—makes her reconsider that maybe, maybe settling down in even the worst of places isn’t that horrible when you’re in good company.

Theo opens the plate cupboard and hands her a set of it with some cutlery. “Set the table at least, freeloader?” He says, though his voice lacks all the venom his words otherwise had.

Okay, she’ll have to reconsider if Theo counts as “good company.”

--

Theo barely survives lunch with her and his brother because of how much he gets teased by the two. He might argue that this is worse than being stuck with her and Arthur because since it is Vincent, he does not get the leeway to have a comeback, only able to grumble in displeasure at being see-through. They stuff their bellies not only with Vincent’s famed chicken with herbs but also with a hefty amount of laughter.

She slides back (slightly disgusted) into her costume to walk back home in, confident that many other students will be trudging along the streets suffering the same fate. (“Not everyone wakes up as late as you.” “There’s bound to be at least one, right?”) When she comes out of the bathroom, there’s a book on top of his neatly-folded clothes.

They speak at the same time.

“I could wash these first before giving it back if you—” “You had that with you all this time?”

Silence.

She breaks it with a laugh. “Yeah, it was a Saturday. I didn’t want to break the schedule.”

“You get so thorough about the weirdest things,” he comments, but he takes the bundle in her arms anyway. “It’s alright, I’ll have them. Let me get you a book, too.”

She follows Theo into the studio, where he crouches in front of some bookshelves. Vincent peeps from behind his easel. “You should walk her home,” he offers, as Theo pulls a few books out of the shelf.

“No, it’s alright, I’ll be fine! I’m not drunk or dizzy. The walk will help clear my head.”

“It’s twenty minutes out,” Theo points out, getting up.

“Just promise that if you find me asleep on the street you’ll pick me up?”

Handing Murakami’s Dance, Dance, Dance to her, Theo grins. “I can’t promise that.”

“Oh, Theo, you know you will.”

Even when she is long out of his sight, the smile on his face does not go away. Even as the day shifts into mundanity. Even as he’s carting a bagful of clothes to the launderette. Even as he picks up some groceries on the way home. Even as he prepares dinner for Vincent, who is a few hours deep into painting.

Maybe for a moment, it goes away, but—

He thinks of her and the smile comes back full force.

--

She spends the rest of Sunday recovering and hiding away in her room after the very socially draining party, but by Monday she’s hopped onto her bike and headed for the literature club’s little gazebo. She’s left a message for Dazai, asking for company. Sure, they spent quite a lot of time together in the past week, after having jumped through thrift stores and boutiques for the perfect Night Circus costume (and yes, she made him read the book beforehand too, for good measure) but Saturday was quite a day. She’s brought a couple of cookies for sharing with him, sitting at their usual spot, looking out at the quadrangle next to it.

“Toshiko-san! Sorry we kept you waiting!”

The plural takes her off guard, and she turns to find that Dazai has brought a rather distracted-looking Isaac along, his hands in the pockets of his slacks. Isaac is always dressed so well—she supposes it’s part of the uniform or something of being seen as a respectable professor—but she sure does want to see him dress down once. T-shirt, shorts, that kind—Isaac seems to take everything too seriously.

The pleasant feeling of seeing a friend she hasn’t met up with in a long time is quickly replaced by confusion, as the science complex is nowhere near the Arts building. “Nice to see you here, Isaac,” she says, but also with the lilt of a question.

Dazai answers said question. “He’s here because he has nothing better to do, so I asked him to come.”

Isaac makes a face that’s both resignation and panic. “He passed by my office.” –and dragged me out because he wouldn’t take no for an answer, she finishes in her head.

“I see,” she answers, even though that’s not really an explanation in itself.

She knows Isaac through Dazai, and Dazai knows Isaac through a very peculiar class: Occultism 101.

A class team-taught by three major colleges in the university—the College of Arts, the College of Science, and the College of Social Sciences—Occultism 101 is one of the more controversial classes on campus because of its nature. It goes through a long history of the evolution and persistence of supernatural beliefs and practices among nations in the world, in that nice gray area between religion and science. There are only two kinds of students in Occultism 101: those who believe and who are genuinely interested, and those who do not believe and would like to spend an entire semester saying “bah! That’s not true!” to themselves all the time.

Occultism 101 is typically taught by professors from the College of Social Sciences and College of Arts with backgrounds in religious practices and other mystical behavior (whether in history or art), and then occasionally, in the middle of the semester, guest lecturers from the College of Science come in to give lectures on how these “supernatural events” may be explainable through scientific means. Say, how the piping system in a building can cause haunted “cold spots”, or how floating dust particles can come up in a photograph as “orbs”, or the likes.

And she doesn’t want to be very stereotypical about it, but a lot of people in the College of Science are pretty… well, square, and so no one really wants to teach Occultism 101, even if it’s only a few meetings in a semester. This is how this job ends up to unwilling, no-choice Ph.D. students such as Isaac.

It was just his luck that Dazai was in the section he taught.

“So, Osamu, care to tell us about your little date last Sunday?” she asks, as the other two have taken their seats across her. Dazai swoons a little at the mention of Sunday. Isaac looks at him with unsureness.

(Isaac has had the miserable experience of being the victim of Dazai’s flirtation at some point in time. One can see how that has instead simmer into a rather tentative friendship. All is well.)

Dazai rests his elbows on the table and places his chin on the palms of his hands. “He’s so dreamy.”

“No he isn’t,” she swiftly replies, without thought.

But Dazai pretends not to have heard it. “He’s not looking for a serious relationship though,” he adds. “Not that I am, either.”

“You aren’t?”

“No, sweetie,” Dazai explains. “But he’s my type and I’m his type and we couldn’t just leave it at that so I have his number now, and a little… arrangement.”

The word hangs in between them, swaying.

Oh no, that’s not any good. “What arrangement.”

“You don’t need to sound so concerned.”

“This is Arthur we’re talking about,” she insists, and the name makes Isaac flinch a little.

“Doyle, the med student?” Isaac asks, and she turns to him, blinking.

“You know him?” Remembering Arthur during the party, her mouth falls into a small o. “He knows you too, doesn’t he?”

Isaac scoffs. “Who in this university doesn’t?” Arthur’s pretty well-known to be a flirt. Something like having a checklist of bedding at least one person in every department—a rumor that would have been a little more shameful if the rumors also didn’t say how he was so good at it.

She nods. “Well, fair enough.”

“No, no, he’s an absolute sweetheart to me, so it’s definitely a you problem,” Dazai insists. “It’s just a friendship with benefits, yanno?” He emphasizes every of the following syllables with his tone and his hands: “Nice, big, hefty benefits.”

And even Isaac, who usually refrains from commenting no matter how much he has to say, has to quip with “Terrible choice, really.”

And she has to agree. “I respect you, but not your taste, Osamu.”

Dazai grins. “Understandable.” He picks up one of the sandwiches she’s prepared. “You make it sound like I’m the only one making bad decisions though.”

“Excuse me?”

He turns to Isaac. “You should have gone to the Halloween party. She brought her little boy toy.”

She scoffs. “He is not my boy toy.”

“You sure do have him around your finger though, getting in matching costumes and all that,” Dazai says. “Spends Saturdates with him all the time.”

The only strategy that will work in times like these is straight-up ignoring him. “Anyway—” she begins, about to steer the conversation away when Isaac speaks up.

“It’s nice to hear you’re getting close to other people,” he says softly. Isaac has a way of speaking that makes it always seem like he’s spent so much time thinking about what he said before he actually said it; so sometimes it’s hard to gauge if he’s saying it casually or entirely seriously.

So she blinks. “You make it seem like I have no friends, Isaac.”

“I-It’s not that!” he suddenly blurts. Ah, there. There’s the usual Isaac. “You’ve spent so much time focusing on your work lately, it’s nice to know you’re relaxing with other people sometimes.”

And he doesn’t say it, but she sure does hear it: the you haven’t been to the astronomy club in a while and it’s made me worried about you.

She doesn’t go religiously, but she used to attend fairly often to hang out with the other members and just look up at the stars. Isaac tries to organize at least two sessions in a month, one to look at the moon, and another to point at the stars. She hasn’t been able to catch them in a bit.

But then, slowly, as the image of the view outside the astronomy club’s hangout is refreshed in her mind, the way the physics building rooftop is just high enough to provide a good view of the rest of the campus below, the city downtown, just at the right place on campus that at night, the rest of the sprawling town’s streetlights trickle out like golden LED veins through the threes—an idea begins to implant itself into her head.

Taking root immediately.

She likes to go up here to think. She really shouldn’t have had permission to go up there on her own, in her free time, since they have rules about club hours and the likes, but Isaac is a close friend and gave her a spare key, so she can come and go as she pleases. And sure, the Grove is a nice, quiet place for book clubs and maybe doing homework if one doesn’t need an electric socket, but up here in the astronomy club’s “the Rooftop”, she feels like she can float away into the vast ocean of her thoughts and get lost in them for a moment.

She feels small up there. And that’s a good feeling.

She won’t tell it to Isaac’s face but it’s one of the primary reasons why she applied for the astronomy club in the first place. The stars are great no matter how dumb she is at physics, but the view—it’s really something else.

What does the world look like from the point of view of a star? How tiny are human lives in the vast expanse of the universe? How long have these stars been out there, how long will they stay out there, how much longer will they stay in this universe more than we will?

…This is why Theo teases her for being a literature major: all these goddamn metaphors.

And for a split second, she thinks…

Maybe it isn’t that bad to share that same quiet space with him?

…You know, to talk books.

“About that…”

Isaac and Dazai turn to her.

“Mind if I sneak in an outsider to the Roof?” she asks, facing Isaac with genuine hope in her voice.

Isaac only shrugs. “Do as you please,” he says casually, taking a cookie from her little box on the table.

And she grins like he’d just given her the light of the world. “Thank you, Isaac.”

Dazai shakes his head, because he knows she’s got no denying herself out of this one the next time.

[haec-est-fides]

Filodox’s Trials of Apollo Reactions [Part I]

Welcome to part one of a reflective journey through Trials of Apollo ft. my original ebook annotations! I’ll be your host, 2020!filodox.

For this first episode, we’ll be going back to May 2016, the beginning of it all: The Hidden Oracle.

Annotations for this round are brought to you by 2016!filodox.

Is there anything we should know before we begin, 2016!me?

2016!filodox: I swore on the Styx never to read another Riordan book after he killed Octavian. And yet here we are.

... Alright then! Let’s get started.

But first, a more detailed overview on how this series will work: I will excerpt bits and pieces of the books based on what I highlighted / annotated on my first read. Beneath each quote, I will share what I wrote in the annotation. Below that, I will (occasionally) laugh at my past self, clarify the note, or say how my view has changed.

I encourage questions, comments, and concerns (of which there may be many), so go ahead and use that replies feature if you feel so inclined! However, these are just my opinions and (occasionally) emotional reactions, so no hate pls. <3 (Or, if you do send hate, pls make it funny.)

Now, diving right in with Riordan’s dedication!

To The Muse Calliope. This is long overdue. Please don’t hurt me.

2016!filodox: Hurt him. He didn’t even name the chapters.

As you can see, I had yet to experience Lester’s haiku and was already mad based on the table of contents alone. I went into this series very salty...

I inflicted a plague on the Greeks who besieged Troy.

2016!filodox: At least he did something right. Once.

I was just,,,extremely ready to die on Octavian’s hill. (Though I was a huge Troy / Aeneas stan before all this, just to be clear.)

Is anything sadder than the sound of a god hitting a pile of garbage bags?

2016!filodox: I actually find this particular god crashing into a dumpster quite amusing.

I also blamed Apollo for what happened to Octavian. I think that had a lot to do with how Apollo acted on Delos in Heroes of Olympus, basically disowning Octavian and whining about how some “creature” scammed him? That was bullshit. Apollo needed to own the fact that he blessed Octavian, but he just abandoned him and denied all the blame. TL;DR I had a grudge, okay?

My mind stewed in confusion, but one memory floated to the surface -- the voice of my father, Zeus: YOUR FAULT. YOUR PUNISHMENT.

2016!filodox: Wait, is this bc everyone blames Octavian and therefore Apollo? Bc lol but also no?

*cough* Octavian did nothing wrong 2k16 *cough*

Zeus will reconsider, I told myself. He’s just trying to scare me. Any moment, he will yank me back to Olympus and let me off with a warning.

“Yes...” My voice sounded hollow and desperate. “Yes, that’s it.”

2016!filodox: Apollo is a self centered frat boy, I forgot...but it is slightly...endearing? *narrows eyes*

Ah, how close I was to stanning Lester in the first chapter, when he was at his most “goddy”. You know, I actually made a rule for myself when I started reading Trials of Apollo that I would not under any circumstances stan Apollo. That was a naive goal, because it was never really a danger.

Regardless, Zeus had held me responsible for Octavian’s delusions of grandeur. Zeus seemed to consider egotism a trait the boy had inherited from me. Which is ridiculous. I am much too self-aware to be egotistical.

2016!filodox: I am going to Murder him.

*chef kiss* the hypocrisy ! the lack of self-awareness !

“I just...I assumed -- I hoped this would be taken care of by now.”

“You mean by demigods,” Percy said, “going on a big quest to reclaim the Oracle of Delphi?”

2016!filodox: That sounds like a decent quest, or you know, QUESTING FOR THE SIBYLLINE BOOKS

I’ve always said I can see the future but an inch to the left. Also, I don’t like Ella.

It warmed my heart that my children had the right priorities: their skills, their images, their views on YouTube. Say what you will about gods being absentee parents; our children inherit many of our finest personality traits.

2016!filodox: AND HE’S MAD ABOUT OCTAVIAN?!

I mean ?

Apollo, when Austin and Kayla show ambition: THEY GOT THAT FROM ME <3

Apollo, when Octavian (or Nero, or Caligula) shows ambition: srry i don’t know him ??

He had a weak jawline, an overlarge nose, and a beard that wrapped around his double chin like a helmet strap. His hair was curly and dark like mine, except not as fashionably tousled or luxuriant. His lips curled as if he smelled something unpleasant. Perhaps it was the burning seats of the bus.

2016!filodox: Nero ???

Not quite sure how to feel looking back at this moment. Call out post @ myself for instantly recognizing Nero, when afaik this scene was before we had any hints that Roman emperors were even a plot point? But here’s the thing: I don’t remember why I could recognize him so easily. I don’t remember where 2016!me obtained this ancient Rome knowledge. A mystery.

On another note entirely, did Nero really like,,,astral project into Apollo’s fever dream to address him directly? Because Rhea does. And sometimes Python does. But Nero? Can he do that?

The man laughed as flames licked at his purple sleeves. “You’re not sorry yet, but you will be. Find me the gates. Lead me to the Oracle. I’ll enjoy burning it down!”

2016!filodox: I too enjoy burning things down. # Nero confirmed

My only comment here is “oh you sweet summer child,,,”

Oh. Perhaps some of you are wondering how I felt seeing [Will] with a boyfriend rather than a girlfriend.

2016!filodox: No, actually. I wasn’t wondering. I was plotting how to kill you, them, and quite a few other people. Do you think I could trade you for Octavian?

Oh man, back at it again with the salt. XD

I could only remember my conversations with Octavian, the way he’d turned my head with his flattery and promises. That stupid boy...it was his fault I was here.

A voice whispered in the back of my mind. This time I thought it might be my conscience: Who was the stupid boy? It wasn’t Octavian.

2016!filodox: I can’t really...explain my emotions upon reading this. I’m still not quite okay, but this...it’s bittersweet in a way. I don’t know if this is a poor attempt at a proper closure, the author’s way of beating a dead horse, or just a way to make Apollo seem pitiable. Whatever it is... Octavian was important enough to remain in Apollo’s mortal memory. He somehow made promises to a god and had Apollo wrapped around his finger. And despite being so much like Apollo, the god blames him. Like everyone blames him. But Apollo also realizes, accepts on an infinitesimal scale, that “it wasn’t Octavian”. He wasn’t perfect, but neither is Apollo. Apollo is (at least) subconsciously admitting his own guilt in the whole affair.

...yeah. I will note that this bit isn’t meant to develop Octavian, but rather uses Octavian as a prop to support Apollo’s development? Which is why it still stings. Like thanks, I guess.

“Your judgement in the past has been...questionable. I wonder if you have chosen the right tools for this job. Have you learned from your past mistakes?”

2016!filodox: Nero has made plenty of mistakes to learn from

Love how I just assumed it was Nero back in chapter 10 and went with it, zero hesitation. Also love how I heard Python say Nero has made mistakes and went “oh absolutely”. In fact, here’s something funny in retrospect that will become more and more apparent: I did not like Nero in 2016. Or, at least, I thought I didn’t. There’s something really odd going on here that baffles me, looking back...

“A triumvirate is a ruling council of three,” I said. “At least, that’s what it meant in ancient Rome.”

“Which is interesting,” Rachel said, “because of this next shot.” She tapped her screen. The new photo zoomed in on the building’s penthouse terrace, where three shadowy figures stood talking together....

2016!filodox: Is it bad that I’m smirking? Because it’s getting interesting ~ *clear malicious intent*

Wow, edgy. Triumvirates are just a neat, Roman thing and I stanned.

“The last triumvirate I dealt with included Lepidus, Marc Antony, and my son, the original Octavian. A triumvirate is a very Roman concept...like patriotism, skullduggery, and assassination.”

2016!filodox: THIS IS WHAT I’VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL EVERYONE. MODERN OCTAVIAN IS A VERY GOOD ANCIENT ROMAN. POLITICS, ESPECIALLY SHADY AF POLITICS AND POWERPLAYS, ARE QUINTESSENTIALLY ROMAN. Also, I’d like to note that it’s confirmed, in this universe’s canon, that Augustus was a son of Apollo.

Ohhhh, wait. I think I’d watched the HBO series Rome by 2016, which would at least partially explain my ancient Rome knowledge. (Amazing tv show btw!)

“He heard them talking in Latin.”

“Latin? Were they campers?”

Pete spread his hands. “I--I don’t think so. Paulie described them like they were adults. He said one of them was the leader. The other two addressed him as imperator.”

2016!filodox: !!!! (obligatory 💕)

I was such a simp for Latin in high school. And the Roman Empire. Still am, but hey.

“The Beast is planning some kind of attack on your camp. I don’t know what it is, but it’s going to be big.”

2016!filodox: Runs in the family I guess

The Octavian / Triumvirate parallels are everywhere... 👀

“The emperors made themselves gods. They had their own temples and altars. They encouraged the people to worship them.”

2016!filodox: # deify me

*smacking my past self with a stick* You stop that! Edgy child!

Anyway, a much better point here is like,,,the Imperial cult was huge in the ancient Roman world. Looking at Apollo’s explanation here, why did only the “worst” three emperors get to be immortal? Did famously “good” emperors like Augustus and Marcus Aurelius have the option of becoming minor gods, but they chose Elysium or something? Are there slightly less infamous emperors just hanging around anywhere as minor gods? A lot of Roman emperors live on in human memory is all I’m saying.

“Wait!” Will said as I reached the door. “Who is the Beast? Which emperor are we dealing with?”

“The worst of my descendants.” My fingers dug into the doorframe. “The Christians called him the Beast because he burned them alive. Our enemy is Emperor Nero.”

2016!filodox: I honestly can’t believe it took this long to reveal this? Was anyone surprised?

Nero’s reveal is rather late in the book compared to Commodus, Caligula, and even Tarquin iirc? But it makes sense, being the first book of the series. Also love how 16-year-old me was like “this reveal is silly because everyone, like me, recognizes Nero on sight” and didn’t question that assumption at all.

“Germani.” Instinctively, I moved in front of Meg. The elite imperial bodyguards had been cold-blooded death reapers in ancient Rome. I doubted they’d gotten any sweeter over the centuries.

2016!filodox: BITCH. See? This is why I love Rome. They knew what they were doing.

Ngl, as someone of Germanic heritage, I felt really represented by the Germani, which is hilarious on so many levels.

He tried to compensate for his ugliness with an expensive Italian suit of purple wool, his gray shirt open to display gold chains. His shoes were hand-tooled leather, not the sort of thing to wear while stomping around in an ant pile. Then again, Nero had always had expensive, impractical tastes.

2016!filodox: I don’t exactly like Nero, and actually think he was quite the shitty emperor, but I guess I mildly respect and “like” him on principle (in this book at least).

OH YOU SWEET SUMMER CHILD. I was so convinced that I didn’t actually like Nero, despite all of the lowkey evidence to the contrary? Who hurt you, past me? (Lmao, it was Tacitus, Suetonius, and Cassius Dio.) My working theory is that I was too much of an Emperor Augustus stan at the time to admit liking Nero. It’s hysterical. Look at me equivocating like a champ.

I’d been so proud of my son, the original Octavian, later Caesar Augustus. After his death, his descendants became increasingly arrogant and unstable (which I blamed on their mortal DNA; they certainly didn’t get those qualities from me).

2016!filodox: I’m glad Apollo and I can agree on something. Augustus was amazing and those who came after him...significantly less so.

See! The propaganda really got to me, what can I say?

Nero clasped his hands as if in prayer. “Oh, my. It seems we’ve had a slight miscommunication. You see, Apollo, Meg brought you here, just as I asked her to. Well done, my sweet.”

2016!filodox: This was obvious but I still find it...gods, the only word I can think of is “delicious”

. . .

“The Beast killed my father. This is Nero. He’s -- he’s my stepfather.”

I could not fully grasp this before Nero spread his arms.

“That’s right, my darling,” he said. “And you’ve done a wonderful job. Come to Papa.”

2016!filodox: Okay, but we should have known this since it became apparent her weapons were Roman. Also, oof. Also also, WHY did Riordan feel the need to add that last line? Why?

ASDFGHJKL: I CAN’T

“After the fire, we’ll rebuild,” he said. “It will be glorious!”

2016!filodox: The amount of times I have used this very logic is worrying.

For (some) context, Firelord Ozai is my favorite character from AtLA. <3

The scene might have been funny except that the Germani were now back on their feet, five demigods and a geyser spirit were still tied to highly flammable posts, and Nero still had a box of matches.

2016!filodox: Oh, I find this plenty amusing!

The emperor stared at his empty hand. “Meg...?” His voice was as cold as an icicle.

2016!filodox: The various ways his tone / voice have been described throughout this conversation are just 💕

*looks at camera like I’m on The Office*

Seriously, though. Nero’s voice is like the central descriptive element of his character because he’s so manipulative. It’s really cool and a great use of detail.

[Meg] turned to Nero. “You told me never to lower myself to my enemies’ level.”

“No, indeed.” Nero’s tone had frayed like a weathered rope. “We are better. We are stronger. We will build a glorious new world. But these nonsense-spewing trees stand in our way, Meg. Like any invasive weeds, they must be burned. And the only way to do that is with a true conflagration -- flames stoked by blood.”

2016!filodox: Real 👏🏻 Gods 👏🏻 Require 👏🏻 Blood👏🏻

I was way too enthusiastic about this whole situation, wasn’t I?

Nero grinned. “Good-bye, Apollo. Only eleven more Olympians to go.”

2016!filodox: Wait, shit, WHAT

Having read Tower of Nero, this probably had something to do with Python interfering with the Fates, huh? But does that mean it’s more Python’s plan or Nero’s? If this was Nero’s plan (with his 12 kids literally replacing the Olympians) that’s,,,really fucking bold.

Then I heard the screaming from Camp Half-Blood.

2016!filodox: Music to my ears ~

I’m presenting every edgy detail of my annotations so I have a proper case file when I inevitably have to face the question “On a scale of one to ten, how relatable is Emperor Nero and why should you have realized it’s a ten sooner?”

In a flash of silver light, the camp’s magical barriers collapsed. The Colossus lurched forward and brought his foot down on the dining pavilion, smashing it to rubble like so many children’s blocks.

2016!filodox: Payback! Dear gods, I can’t stop smiling! I’m just like “YES!” I know this will all probably get fixed or whatever but I’M HAVING A MOMENT.

I’ve learned to appreciate the small wins. <3

Percy grabbed one of the crown’s sunray spikes. He sliced it off at the base, then jabbed it into the Colossus’ forehead.

2016!filodox: As much as Nero is FAR from my favorite, I really don’t like defacing ancient (or replicas of ancient) statues and art...

This is where I just start laughing at myself tbh. I was so insistent on not liking Nero. Like, I sound like I’m in denial. Peak equivocation. What happened to that heart emoji a few chapters back? Why did I suddenly make it about *checks notes* ancient art? Updated translation: nooo don’t ruin the Colossus Neronis it’s so sexy aha

Just as the [arrow] reached its apex and was about to fall back to earth, a gust of wind caught it...perhaps Zephyros looking kindly on my pitiful attempt. The arrow sailed into the Colossus’ ear canal and rattled in his head with a clink, clink, clink like a pachinko machine.

2016!filodox: HOW MANY EX MACHINAS IS THIS ?! The dryads, the arrow, Percy, the enchantment, and THIS ?

One of my criticisms of Trials of Apollo in general is just that the stakes are so much higher and Riordan usually solves that problem by having his heroes win on long odds. The chances of them succeeding at like,,,anything they attempt are astronomical, but of course they manage. It’s not surprising but it does get a little tiring.

“Yo, Nico,” Leo called, “please tell me that’s it for the physical abuse.”

“For now.” Nico smiled. “We’re still trying to get in touch with the West Coast. You’ll have a few dozen people out there who will definitely want to hit you.”

2016!filodox: Oh I’d love to hit him. With the flaming, Imperial gold payload of an onager. Preferably WITHOUT the Pontifex Maximus attached to it -- unless of course you mean the false pontifex, Jason Grace.

Leo was the salt in the wound for this one, ngl. He rekindled my undying ire over Octavian’s death. As I said at the beginning of this, I was extremely ready to die on Octavian’s hill after Heroes of Olympus. That sentiment sticks around for a while...

And we can call that a wrap!

Though it may seem like it, my annotations are not, in fact, a compilation of Nero’s greatest hits. There are a lot of scenes of his that I love (naturally) but I didn’t have anything to say about them when I first read the series. Maybe I’ll share those another time.

In any case, I hope you got something out of this ridiculously long post! Until next time! <3

[starstress]

MCC Aqua Axolotls Live Commentary!

Hello, as said, I will attempt to write down my thoughts and reactions during the MCC. 

Stream links!!

False: https://www.twitch.tv/falsesymmetry

Ren: https://www.twitch.tv/rendogtv

Grian (yes, he’s streaming): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjkgnEi4t9g

Pearl: https://www.twitch.tv/pearlescentmoon

Updates will come as edits, so be sure to check this again every once in a while if you’re interested or just curious! 

To all fans, please be kind to everyone, no matter the team or who you wish would win. You will only embarrass yourself if you harass others or act immaturely and will gain no brownie points with those you follow and watch.

For now, may the games begin and the best team win!

-

Edit 1: Peeps are running a bit late, apparently, Ren is the only one on the team with no aqua colour XD Grian recoloured the headband that Smajor had made for him last stream XD

Andddd, we’re kicking off!!

-

Edit 2: The gong makes an appearance!! Also, the story of the gong!! Grian had bought it as a gag for whenever he and Mumbo record! The team loves it!

Countdown has finally started!

-

Edit 3: The first game is Skyblockle(?)!! Team ain’t feeling too confident about it, but we’ll see! I think they’ll be okay at this. Gri is reading the instructions and getting nervous XD

From now, everything will be under the cut. Warning, it’s really long.

Oof, wood fell in the lava. They still have more :)) They’re sharing tasks pretty nicely, I have to say, but they keep changing plans. Things will heat up quickly, tho, and I’m glad this game is gonna be out of the way soon.

First death in Skyblockle for the Aqua Axolotls: False! Second: Grian!

Doom is on the horizon XD

Rip, Ren has died too, and Pearl has gotten a couple of kills!! 

And the Axolotls are out!

First gong after a game. Rn we’re all watching the other teams. Dream team is holding up well. Techno’s team is out too. Last bid!

Endgame: Pearl has won the most coins, team is a bit disappointing by last place.

-

Edit 4: They have the Uno Reserve card as they were the worst team. 

Game: Bingo but Fast!

Gri is reading the instructions again. Someone in Pearl’s stream is watching 25 streams holy dandelions.

The team is again sharing tasks. This is pretty speedy!

Hearing Gri lament how speedy it all is is so funny. Also, they’re all like headless chickens and a lot more disorganized now. Poor team.

Endgame: Ren’s sweating in unspeakable places lol, but they’re not last anymore!

Pearl’s game just crashed, oh goodness.She’s back in, wooo!

-

Edit 5: Game: Battle box!

Gri is going for the middle. Pearl got so many kills!

First round won!!

Second round lost!

Third round won!!

Ren’s having a hard time breathing, and I gotta say same! 4th place rn.

Game was paused to stop the animations of the NPCs and we got another gong! we chilling for a few mins lol.

WE’RE ON AGAINST THE DREAM TEAM. Aww, the game needs to be reset or smt. 

Oh wow, draw for every team. Fourth round was skipped.

Fifth round - uh SERVER CRASHED

Wowie, the map looks really strange without the resource pack.

First hiccup in 7 event, dang. 

Starting again. Resource pack might no re-appear again. And now I’m laggy, lol

Round 1: lost!

Round 2: won! Gri with the tnt :D

Round 3: lost! tnt did not work this time

Round 4: unknown due to lag, oof.

Round 5: lost

Round 6: unknown 

Round 7: unknown

Round 8: unknown

Round 9: unknown (prob lost)

Place: Last.

Everyone’s laggy, including me lol.

The viewers are being encouraging, which is really great and wholesome!

-

Edit 6: Game: Big Sales at Build Market!

Team is confident about this one, wooo!!

Grian ended up in plants lol. Ughhh, diorate. Communication is key, and it’s very well done!!

They’re building fast and getting resources pretty fast, that’s good.

Grian listing what they need is *chef kiss* False being alert is *hearteyes* and the chats are the real mvps 

Endgame: Place 7. It was pretty intense indeed.

Break time!

-

Edit 7: Audience takeover!! Pearl wants Rocket Spleef, so does Techno. Dream wants Hole in the Wall.

Game: Rocket Spleef!!

Grian’s reading instructions :))) 

This will be intense as all heck. Countdown has stopped, huh.

Oof, apparently it was supposed to be Hole in the Wall, but can’t change. Gri’s prob not gonna have as great of a time as I’d hopped :P

Round 1: Rainbow map, False is out! :o The very first time! Team’s out right before tnt time! Place 6, nice.

Round 2: Uhh, Atoms map?? Grian and Pearl are struggling. Pearl’s out! Gri’s out! Ren’s out! False’s still going.

Round 3: Grian’s finally got the rocket jump. Jump and then launch :D Or maybe not XD Tnt time! Pearl is waiting down at the bottom. She fell, oof. Grian’s having cramps in his hand and, in his words, he’s ‘a goner.’

Endgame: False’s the master of Rocket Spleef! And place 6! Team really enjoyed it, I’m so glad :D

-

Edit 8: Team’s hoping for Ace Race, and it looks like it might be!

Game: Ace Race!

Grian is narrating for all of us, nice! “This is totally Sonic!” he says!

“’Your first time will probably suck’. Yeah, that’s been happening about the entire time!” lmao

Omg, the map is so cool!! Def a fan favourite!! The entire team is having so much fun yesss

All of them are really doing good, Grian and False are placing good.

“Techno, get outta my way!!” -  Gri, and I have to say, mood.

Grian got place 15! Right behind Techno, nice!!

Pearl is 32!

Ren is 35?

False is somewhere behind Gri, but way before Pearl.

Endgame: Everyone had one heck of a time and now they’re trying to find out how to make it in Vanilla Minecraft XD

Place: 9 

-

Edit 9: They dunked the Lime Llamas XDD

Game: Sands of Time

Oof, this one’s gonna be a maker or a breaker.

Oh goodness, they have no one watching the time D:

They’re banking coins, thankfully. 

Oh no, Pearl!! Sand is needed. Grian to the rescue!

Phew, three sand left, thank you Pearl for topping up!!

Intense, gosh, i’m really nervous about the sand!!

Oof, Pearl’s stream froze. It ended, oh no. Actually, it might just be me that has enormous lag (not smt new lol). 

There we go, slow but it’s something.

The sand!! Aww man, right as Pearl got the sand!! They’re out! At least they banked a lot of their coins.

Endgame: We got a nice gong. Place: 5! Overall place: 9!

-

Edit 10: My wi-fi is beating me up with a stick, and it’s unrelenting. Lag is my life now.

Last game: Hole in the Wall

Ren’s gonna have a bad time XD

Round 1: Pearl’s fallen, from what my laggy video will show me. Gri as well. They’re out!

Round 2: Pearl’s still alive, woo!! Glitched right through one, so cool XD

Round 3: lag.

Endgame: Ren’s raging, Grian is really amused by that XD Nice game!! 

-

Edit 11:

Overall place: 9

Time for the final battle!! Gong! Ren wants the gong as stream sound effect :D

Green Guardians vs Orange Ocelots! 

Grian supports Techno bc Techno said he liked him lmao!! The others are Green. 

Also fun fact: Grian could coach a match of dodge ball!

Round 1: Green wins!

Round 2: Orange wins!! Techno’s taking them out!

Round 3: Orange wins!

Round 4: Orange wins!

Grian: “It’s like one of those anime moments!”

Round 5: Green wins!

(Gri went off holy heck)

Congrats to the Green Guardians!!  

- 

Last edit of the night!

That was extremely fun to watch!! The lag and my own wi-fi made it a bit irritating at times, esp since I had to split my focus, but it was pretty good nonetheless.

It’s really sad that the Championship itself lagged so much, I have a feeling it left both a lot of viewers and players feeling frustrated as well. 

However, the new mini game was lots of fun and I have a feeling we’ll be seeing it a lot in the future. I really hope we will.

The team was really good, they managed to coordinate very well, but like many groups who’ve just started working together for the first time, there were times where they could’ve slowed down a bit and reconsidered their plans. Still, the important bit was that they all had a great time together.

Overall, I really hope Grian and Pearl will participate again, even if not on the same teams. I also hope that there will be more Hermitcraft members joining in, even if only for one Championship. I had tons of fun writing this as well, but I think I’ll switch back to occasional posts about amusing things that happen during the games, as it really took a lot of my attention from the mcc itself.

Hope whoever kept up with me or reads this later enjoyed/enjoys this. I’m off to bed now, I’m sleepy and I’ll prob wake up, read through this, and find 10 million little mistakes that I’ll die over. Future me, I deeply apologize, but, uhhhh, no regrets!!

Starstress out!

[creative-poptart]

Oof hi, I saw that your asks were open so I decided to come bug you. Can I have an imagine of the ut, uf skeles comforting a friend/crush bc her girlfriend brokeup with her and maybe they see their chance to confess and there's cutesy fluff?? Hi sorry, im pansexual and need help. Sorry if I broke any rules! It doesn't have to be long, don't stress baby!

Sure thing honey! No rules have been broken, but again, thank you for the concern!

UT Sans/Vanilla: Tears are always a bit of an unsettling sight for him, especially on such a pretty friendly face like yours. He’s quick to rush over and make sure that you’re okay, get you set up with something warm to drink and let you talk it out with him. He’s also quick to take up the “treat yo self” mentality and allows you to indulge a bit on some things to calm you down, though he won’t let you go absolutely crazy. When you mention that you were just broken up with, his soul is going nuts and he wants to confess to you right then and there. However, Vanilla also recognizes that you’re really upset about this and now might not be the best time to bring up his own feelings. He doesn’t want to end up as a rebound, nor does he want you to feel like that’s all it is. Vanilla’s gonna try to win you over fair and square, without pressing his luck too much. For now, he’s going to make sure that you get over your break up in a way that doesn’t leave you too broken into pieces. Once you start to get your metaphorical feet back under you, he’s going to start to drop some hints though, and he’s not going to give in for quite some time. 

“hey hey hey, it’s gonna be alright. don’t worry about them for now, just focus on what you’ve got right in front of you and we can work through this together.”

UT Papyrus/Creampuff: The minute you show up at his house crying, there is nothing else on his mind other than to get you to feel better about whatever has made you sad. You’re quite literally yanked inside, thrown carefully on the couch, and commanded not to move until he gets back. Creampuff will tear apart the house to get everything he thinks he needs to make you feel better, even going out into his little garden and cutting you a fresh bouquet of flowers. Once all his things are in place, then you may talk about it, and he will listen with utmost attention. He never really like the idea of you dating someone like that anyway, but he won’t comment on anything until you are done venting your woes to him in the first place. Creampuff is quick to try and build you back up, telling you that you’re almost as great as he is, listing your accomplishments, and somehow getting you to smile through the tears. His genuine, honest comments about who you are as a person are pretty uplifting, even if you feel like utter crap. In the midst of his ranting about your greatness, he drops a line saying that there’s no way he could have fallen for someone who was less than great, which makes both of you stop completely. He... wasn’t planning on this??? Creampuff’s improvised confession manages to shock you out of your funk, but now both of you are a mess. There’s good things up ahead though, just watch.

“IT WAS NOT IN MY PLAN TO LET YOU KNOW OF MY DEEP AND COMPLICATED FEELINGS FOR YOU LIKE THIS, BUT... I ONLY SPOKE THE TRUTH IN WHAT I SAID, REST ASSURED!”

UF Sans/Red: The fastest way to get this guy to reconsider his attempts to not murder people is to have you showing up somewhere with a tear-streaked face and looking extremely upset. It’ll take a minute for him to recollect himself and refocus, but once he gets there, he’s all ears, metaphorically speaking. While he’s no good at providing you any form of comfort, he can give you someone to talk to about your problems, stars knows he wished he had the same thing. He’ll sit quietly and let you talk while throwing in the occasional snarky comment about your now-ex, arms folded over his chest. Red wants to go over and beat up your ex for breaking your heart, but at the same time, now he has a shot at being yours, so he’s very conflicted. For the moment, he decides not to hunt them down, and instead sticks around with you until you’re at least a little better. He won’t make any comments about what he feels for you right now, as he can’t quite trust what he wants to say about that yet, but you will notice that he’s a bit more touch-prone with you and quick to be at your defense.

“there ain’t no reason f’r them t’be like that at all, an’ it’s stupid. ya shouldn’t linger on it too long, ‘r it’ll start hurtin’ ya more than it hurts them. best t’keep goin’.”

UF Papyrus/Fell: Who in the hell can think about confessing emotions when you’re upset and crying?!? Not Fell, that’s for sure. He’s even worse than Red when it comes to comfort, as he’s a suck-it-up kind of guy. However, he does know that people appreciate it if he lets them speak instead of him trying to talk over them when they are having an emotional breakdown. He’s quick to read some things about giving other people comfort on his phone, then does his best to implement them with you, albeit very stiffly and awkwardly. While he’s trying his best, you do start to feel a little better, because it’s comical to see him so out of his element and fumbling. When you’re all finished speaking, he goes into a complete tirade on how horrid your ex was and how they deserve to go die in a hole for leaving you so abruptly. Fell doesn’t beat around the bush with people he cares about, and so he tells you straight up how he feels about your ex while carefully omitting what he thinks of you. It’s surprisingly helpful to hear a blatant and blunt explanation of what your ex did wrong, and you feel better by the time you leave. Fell hasn’t given up on winning you over though, so he’ll start to bring out the best he has to offer in order to show up your ex.

“WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, THEY ARE WORTHLESS TRASH AT YOUR FEET AND YOU SHOULD HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM ANY LONGER! HOW DARE THEY TREAT THEIR DATEMATE IN SUCH A MANNER, AND YOU SHOULD CUT EVERYTHING OFF FROM THEM!”

[chenoehi]

*I'm reposting this bc it's not in any of the tags anymore & I really hate tumblr 💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️

I had a thought about the namkook interaction at the festa dinner, the 'monitoring' comment.

I read and agreed with what @lovetheonlyyouthereis wrote about her theory and how it might have related to kookmin, but something just hit me. If anyone can help me out with specifics on one thing...

So, we all know that Jungkook decided to come to BigHit because of Namjoon and we've heard the story several times before, but for some reason I feel like we're hearing them bring it up more frequently. I wonder if anyone else thought it was curious that Jungkook mentioned it again on stage in Busan after he mentioned it at the festa dinner, which was taped months ago. Then there was Jungkook's answer to an interview question in London, calling Namjoon his first inspiration. There's just been a lot of reassurance coming from Jungkook recently that he values, respects, and loves Namjoon and it seems like it's almost coming out of nowhere because it's not like everyone didn't already know all of this. I'm not sure why but it almost looks like Jungkook is overcompensating, which could very well be because of some tension if the 'monitoring' had to do with kookmin as @lovetheonlyyouthereis discussed or if the monitoring had to do specifically with Jungkook himself.

That's the part I'm questioning; I don't doubt the KM part because as I said before I've already noticed that Namjoon has been more laid back when it comes to them lately, to the point that it has become very noticeable that he is not actively trying to 'break' KM up on stage or even be near them at times. He sometimes chooses not to speak and verbally divert attention when before he wouldn't have hesitated. It's a little odd and unpredictable but it really looks like he's operating on a 'live and let live' philosophy right now. Considering the fact that it was Jimin who had the 3-hour talk with him about the monitoring, considering that Jimin felt so strongly about this thing that was bothering Jungkook that he couldn't wait and he just had to talk to Namjoon about it knowing they had a *morning* schedule, meaning they had to be talking at who knows what time and you know they had to be zombies trying to go about their business, but whatever it was it was that important, considering all that I don't doubt it was something that was personal for Jimin too.

The part I'm thinking about now, or wondering about, is whether the monitoring/watching and the concern extended beyond KM and to Jungkook, as in Namjoon felt like he needed to monitor Jungkook for some reason. I say that for a few reasons, partially because there are things that go on behind the camera that we don't get to see obviously and we never will understand their entire personal lives or their thought processes, but we got a glimpse into Jungkook's at this festa dinner.

He called himself insignificant apart from the idol, BTS's JK, and that didn't surprise me to hear that he feels that way about himself to be honest but I can't say how sad it made me feel. He's made comments before about not really being anybody or having much of a personality, things to that extent, before joining BTS. He says he feels that they made him who he his, specifically, he said they 'filled him in', so without them he might feel lacking. On top of that he made the comments about school, about not studying. Jungkook has said before that he feels he stopped maturing at 15, and he feels he did not apply himself in school, but he also knows he's not the kind of person who traditional school is a good fit for. But he was 'raised' by a hyung who he idolized that was bookish who has an IQ of 148 who did study well who was a good student, and he is also potentially (for those who may not agree) in love with someone who is a math genius and who was class president and was a very good student, so he has all these examples of what he may feel like he should have been and wasn't and despite where he is now he can't see that none of that matters anymore. What does seem to matter to Jungkook is that he is a Jack of all Trades but a Master of None. His passion seems to be creating videos, but to become an expert at anything takes time, hardwork, and dedication, and he knows that. He has things he likes to do and he's good at everything, but I don't know if there is anything he has really mastered yet unless we count singing, but even with that I think he does still struggle sometimes with inflection of emotion.

So I know we all like to point out how perfect and golden he is but the reality is that Jungkook doesn't see himself that way. He felt like he had to apologize to us for not presenting his mixtape when he said he would because he felt he wasn't ready yet, that his skills weren't good enough. He felt whatever he did would be not up to his standards of perfection and a disappointment (there is more than one perfectionist who self critiques too harshly in bangtan, in the maknae line no less).

Back to the festa dinner and the monitoring comment:

I remembered something Namjoon said in "Burn the Stage," when Jungkook had his health issue in Chile. Namjoon said something to the extent, if I remember correctly, that he at one point was questioning if it was a physical problem or if the problem was 'mental' and he realized that it was obviously physical; please correct me if the interpretation is wrong (I don't have the gifs in front of me), but basically, what Namjoon did, period, was bring up the idea of it being the result of a mental problem when he said instead, this wasn't a mental problem this was physical. Because why would he say that unless Namjoon was questioning it to himself. BtS was one of the first things I watched when I started stanning BTS and I still thought that was a really weird thing to say. I'm not sure why he felt like he needed to make that distinction when talking about it. There were other things he said in BtS like Jungkook hides his exhaustion from the other members, so it seems that when things like Chile happen it reminds Namjoon that Jungkook is human and may not always be taking the best care of himself for whatever reasons.

We already knew all of that well, BtS let us into their world and gave us some insight, and Namjoon himself has often been the one to say things about Jungkook that gave us a glimpse of him.

So I thought about that moment which has always seemed out of place to me. The monitoring comment very much seemed to be coming from Jungkook with not really any input from the other members outside of Jimin, but if we consider that the monitoring comment had something to do with namkook as much as it did with kookmin then things like Chile and Namjoon's BtS comment seem more interesting, for lack of a better term.

But then I've been floating around on Quora, as I do sometimes when I'm bored, which is this online question and answer forum, and I saw this question about BTS asking some of their hardships or experiences they've endured and once you look at one answer you can see all of them if you want to. On several of the answers I saw the Chile incident mentioned for Jungkook, but some people said that it was not the only time he has passed out on stage or after a performance. Many people used the number 3 when referring to the number of times it has happened. I know one of those might be that award show performance this spring where he collapsed off stage after performing, but have there been other times when Jungkook has fainted or collapsed due to exhaustion or health prior to these 2019 award shows?

So, I don't doubt the monitoring/watching might have had something to do with KM too, partly because Namjoon has backed off KM a LOT and also because Jimin was the one who went and talked to him; I also love the timing of Jungkook's 'live how you want to live' message for festa and find that telling. But, I don't think that's the only explanation, not after thinking about and reconsidering some namkook specific interactions. Especially in light of what Jungkook said at the festa dinner which was in line with things he's said about himself before.

Basically what I'm thinking is that it's possible some things have gone on in his personal life, emotional, mental, physical health and well being that have caused Namjoon some concern and led to similar monitoring of Jungkook. I'm curious to see if anyone else agrees or if anyone thought that Namjoon's comment in BtS was out of place. Correct me if I'm wrong, but all of the members at one point or another have either spoken or alluded to their mental and emotional health, and sometimes they talk about each other. But I don't remember Jungkook ever saying anything about his mental health. He speaks about a lot of things now but I can't recall anything he's said about that if he's talked about it, and that's strange to me considering that even just recently he's said negative things about himself and also knowing that his hyungs talk about mental health so freely. I think because they talk about their mental health specifically it makes a contrast to the fact that he doesn't really talk about his.

This is particularly interesting to me considering that in the KM relationship Jungkook likes to praise Jimin and build him up, and he doesn't really let him talk badly about himself; the most recent example of the haircut is perfect, he told everyone that Jimin's haircut was cute at the Busan muster because he knew Jimin was self conscious about it. It all gives off the vibe that Jungkook can easily help others practice self love but might have a harder time when it comes to himself. That 'insignificant' comment really let's you know something right there. The fact that he considers some of the experiences he lost by choosing the idol life and career to have set him back and that he's actually comparing himself, however subconsciously, to a person he idolized and another person he cares for it just reinforces his insignificant comment because he's saying he doesn't value his own experience because it wasn't what he thinks it should have been.

Not to be dramatic, but I'm really thinking about this kid who entered a very brutal industry at the age of what, 12? 13? And his parents weren't with him. This was a kid who Jimin found crying in the kitchen because he missed his parents, who was so shy at first that he couldn't shower around them or take his clothes off, who broke down when Hoseok was going to leave the group, a kid who Yoongi said had a big heart but his hyungs couldn't see it then because we all know he had a hard time showing that side, who was so emotionally complicated that he couldn't handle too much affection in front of the camera, and who only cried for his hyungs and not for himself.

Right now, I'm kind of suspicious of what's bringing up all of the namkook content we keep getting; could it be because the conversation Jimin and Namjoon had about Jungkook's issues w/NJ's monitoring led to some tension? Is this just reassurance that NJ is still his first love the leader of his life?

This went off topic and got rambly at times. I've honestly just been watching for a while and wondering if anyone is picking up the same things I am. I know Jungkook is not the member the fandom likes to discuss the most when it comes to these things and I really think sometimes, is it just me, or is the fandom simply more focused elsewhere.

[mooosicaldreamz]

please do a song by song review of lover i beg u

oh......u didn’t have to beg!!!! i’ll give it to you 4 FREE.

I FORGOT THAT YOU EXISTED: what i enjoy about this song is that it is fun and not especially mean, just like, shrug emoji. i think sometimes when ur in a relationship that is not especially amazing and you reach the point where you forget that you dated someone is the funniest thing and its such a strange moment. it’s a good tonesetter for the album, bc its so fun and chill and like, whatever. it has the same energy that i think we are never getting back together wanted to have. i LOVE the “i just forget what they were” breakdown. what a fun, bouncy song. easy listening to start the album. calvin harris rip.

CRUEL SUMMER: i love jack antanoff vERY much and have liked his work with fun. and as bleachers, and i think his production on lorde and taylor’s albums has been so wonderful. this song just reeks of him and it’s so like, ascendent, how it builds up and up into the chorus. i think it’s interesting that she reaches so high on the chorus. “summer’s a knife/i’m always waiting for you to cut to the bone/devils roll the dice/angels roll their eyes.” the breakdown is once again wonderful abt crying in the back of the cab on the way back from the bar - i feel like this album and its concept brings a much more natural version of taylor that i think has largely (and perhaps rightfully, considering the evolution of her fame and craft) been in hiding since probably red but maybe even since speak now. “I LOVE YOU AIN’T THAT THE WORST THING YOU EVER HEARD // HE LOOKS SO PRETTY LIKE A DEVIL” while she’s screaming it is more exuberant than ANYTHING on 1989 or rep (and i love both of those albums). 

LOVER: i love how sleepy soft this song is, i love how simple it is, and it’s made me cry like, six times. the wedding band sound is just, so fun and beautiful. it really makes me feel like i’m drunk, happy, and dancing really slow on an emptying dancefloor. i’m going to assume that was the vibe. it’s so soft. god it feels like a cloud. i enjoy how simple the lyrics are in this song, and how the words get to breathe and simmer. they take on a lot of meaning bc of how much space they’re given by the echo and by pacing. it’s so nice. i’ve gone back and forth on whether i like the wedding vows thing, but i think it might be nice. i love “swear to be overdramatic AND TRUE! to my lover”

THE MAN: the bumpy sound of the bass beat is really fun, and i think the song is a good bop, but it doesn’t say anything i don’t already know - but i think taylor bringing up the back end on the Woke train, trying to reach all those people who still aren’t totally sure about the gays or feminism but also think trump is terrible and are now reconsidering their life choices is a fine enough goal for her social justice initiatives. also i just realized she says “getting bitches and models” which she already does, you don’t have to pretend taylor

THE ARCHER: this song is sonic perfection the rolling synths the dreamy voice, the awful awful breakdown at the end of “they see right thru me / can you see right thru me / i see right thru me” “help me hold onto you” i just ... can’t handle this song. it’s perfect. i like the implication throughout this album that taylor is in Love, the big real kind, and i support her and joe bc i think it’s obvious their relationship has totally like, taken her to a new and good emotional space. anyway i like the implication that taylor fell in real, big Love and realized that love is still a fucking mess, like it doesn’t solve all the problems. “ALL OF MY HEROES DIE ALL ALONE” i mean come on. i hate her

I THINK HE KNOWS: this song is a bop “i think he knows his hands around a cold glass make me wanna know that body like it’s mine” is a stn move. the rumbly noise in the chorus and the synthy breakdown is a beast, it owns itself. there’s a real comfortable self-confidence that i, once again, maintain has been missing from taylor’s music up until now. also that moaning noise distracts me every time. “hand on my thigh/we can follow the sparks/i’ll drive” tAYLOR! inappropriate. i’ve seen some takes on this song that it’s not a fave, but it’s a fun song and people are wrong. there’s not one song on this album that i’m like this is bad in the way that i DO NOT like some songs on rep

MISS AMERICANA AND THE HEARTBREAK PRINCE: the first thing i thought when i heard this song is that it sounds like lana del rey. give it a re-listen, it does. sounds just like idk, “high by the beach” but it also rings a bell for me of electra heart era marina and the diamonds (like “teen idle”). i like this song a lot, even though it’s relatively oblique in my opinion on what it’s.....actually about. “you play stupid games / you win stupid prizes” is a great lyric in masterful taylor swift fashion bc it looks stupid when u write it on paper. i like the shouting breakdown thing that happens on the back end of the song with go/fight/win (OH I JUST GOT that, it’s like cheerleaders shouting). i’m a fan of it, but it’s an oddball on the tracklist.

PAPER RINGS: this song rings with a lot of red’s chaotic energies but with the adult sensibilities that she’s rolling with on this album. i love the sort of down-home shouty stuff happening on the verses, and the “kiss me once / kiss me twice / three times” bridge. it’s a good one. “i hate accidents/except when we went from friends to this” is a fun and good lyric. i LOVE the key change i LOVE the “wrap your arms around me baby boy” for some reason very much. 

CORNELIA STREET: i mean obviously this song is wonderful. i’ve seen much Discourse about this song being related to Kaylor which seems plausible. it’s clear that taylor wrote some of these songs in the present tense when they’re in the past, which i think is really interesting. i LOVE “jacket ‘round my shoulder is yours” what a good inversion of the phrase. i love the way that the phrase cornelia street breaks up the lines in a really weird way, because of how its syllables run. it’s a good song. it’s a soft boi

DEATH BY A THOUSAND CUTS: early frontrunner for my fave song!!!!! love the opening repeating noise, and the simple guitar plucks initially. taylor’s voice takes up front and center bc it isn’t especially altered/layered/echoed like it is in some other spots on the album. it has an amazing rolling pace on its verses that’s followed by the slower pace on the chorus. “i ask the traffic lights if it’ll be okay and they say i don’t know” i am certain that this song is about karlie kloss and i will not accept any other possibilities i know she said it was about a movie but i don’t care. “my hips my heart my body my love / tryna find a part of me you didn’t touch” wow taylor god what a gifted lyricist i hate her

LONDON BOY: this song is fun. “i saw the dimples first / then i heard the accent” i love the rising effect on “walking on the afternoon” resetting with the horns. it’s just a song that makes you bob your head. she does sound like she’s throwing out as many english references as she possibly can which is amusing and i don’t know what the legs are on this song bc of that - it could come across as somewhat kitschy. but! also i’d like to start some discourse bc i think it’s CLEAR that taylor isn’t afraid of using pronouns or even very direct references to who she’s with (this song is basically an I LOVE JOE ALWYN shirt), and it makes it even more clear when she’s avoiding using pronouns or direct description. the two songs before this don’t do that in the same way that this song does. 1989 barely uses pronouns at all. i’m just saying. taylor is bi is what i’m saying.

SOON YOU’LL GET BETTER: obviously this song is sad and it makes me cry i have no further commentary except that it’s a wonderful, simple song that has an excessively odd placement on this album following after london boy

FALSE GOD: this song is sexy! and interesting. the horns come back again, which is good and her voice is lower. honestly the line “the altar is my hips” is just..........a lot for me to compute. “i’m golden when you touch me / hell is when i fight with you” the bridges are really fun, sexy, soft. this song is like when lover ends and a song with a little more of a sultry feel comes on but ur still drunk so its a little sloppy.

YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN: obviously this song ruined my life. it sent me to the heights of elation and then i sort of had a hangover on it but i’m back around on it guys! it’s a fun, fun, summery song. that chorus with the oh-oh is just .... pop perfection. the bumpy synth noise that goes ba-duh-duh-duh like it’s reverberating is absolutely perfect for the pacing of the song. it’s excessively well-crafted to the point of slickness. it should have been the lead single but what do i know about anything

AFTERGLOW: i know that i wasn’t supposed to be into i pinned your hands behind your back but i was so. this is a continuation of the theme of like, i’m in love but i’m still a mess!!! sorry :) i like this song but it does not inspire me. 

ME!: i don’t know why the exclamation point is there and it sounds much more like a brendon urie song than a taylor song, but it’s fun! i don’t hate it! i can see why it was picked as a lead single - to really illustrate the tonal change from rep to here, but still. spelling is fun, tho.

IT’S NICE TO HAVE A FRIEND: this song is simple and so, so so sweet. i love the childhood friends to lovers narrative, and i just. like it. so much. it’s so sweet. and then obviously the horns come back for this one, but don’t overwhelm. this song is a good palette cleanser after the bombast of me!

DAYLIGHT: i tweeted about this but this song reminds me of clean and long live (particularly long live, it for some reason really sounds like that in my head). but i like that it really relates a feeling that i feel sometimes of like, my life was a mess and sometimes still is a mess but bc i’m in a stable and good relationship, things feel approachable, like, if everything goes wrong again, i’ll at least know for sure i have this, and i think this song sort of shows that off with the  “I don’t want to think about anything else.” it’s nice. it’s calm. i read an oral history today about the kanye storming the stage moment at the vma’s because it’s been 10 years since it happened - and i feel like this album and this song, in many ways, are a plateau on the meteoric catapult of taylor’s relationship with fame that really had started to run before that moment but certainly started rolling after that. i think this song is a demonstration of the growth that she’s gone through over the last ten years that we’ve all watched with such close attention. it makes me feel happy for her. i hope she gets to keep this the way it is. i’ve read that she thought for the longest time that this album would be called daylight and i’m honestly? not sure it shouldn’t be. but the vocal note at the end sort of draws it back thru.

it’s a good album. i think the back half of it doesn’t hang as tough all the way thru as the first half, but overall, i think it’s overall quality is better than reputation even though i think reputation, as a concept album, works very well. it’s a great evolution and a real, authentic thing. very impressive that she’s managed to produce four very different albums successively where as many artists don’t change that much from album to album. but i think that’s evidence of the work that’s gone into them, to be honest. death by a thousand cuts is my early fave. 

[wmhalliwell]

just this once

a/n: this is just me wanting fem!presenting!aziraphale and i was inspired by a bunch of headcanons i've read from all around tumblr. ps thanks to the lovely @felicia-parker​ for looking over this for me! (find on ao3)

Italy, 1502

The noise of human life filled the air: the clatter of wagon wheels on stone and the screech of stray cats chasing each other down the streets. There was the suggestion of a sunny day, with the sun repeatedly hiding behind clouds, casting shade on all those walking and wandering along the streets.

Near the coast, the air was tinged with salt from the sea. Merchants cramped the area around the port, setting up their wears; selling everything from fresh bread to finely made silk, children’s toys to jewelry befit for royalty.

Crowley had no need for any such things, though a broach caught his eye: silver snake design curled around an emerald. Could look nice holding his half-cloak in place. Pausing by the merchant’s booth, he made a face trying to look at the broach he currently wore. It was by no means lowly, but it wasn’t nearly as shiny as the silver snake.

“Do you seem something that interests you, sir?” the merchant asked after exchanging another of his pieces for the rudimentary currency of the era: coins.

Crowley squinted at the snake through darkened glasses pinched across the bridge of his nose. “What do you think?” he mused. “Is it a bit much?”

The man’s eyes sparkled. He was definitely imagining the gold he could get in exchange for his workmanship. “Not at all, sir!” He plucked the broach from where it sat and held it so a momentary spark of sunlight glinted through the gem. “It would go quite handsomely with your complexion I would say.”

Crowley tilted his head to the side, the quirk of a smile on his face. “Oh you do, do you?” He reached out a long fingered hand to take the broach in his own hand when he felt it.

It was the exact opposite of the feeling of walking on consecrated ground. Which, when he thought about it too much, didn’t really make much sense, but he did try not to think about it too much. 

The merchant felt the sale slipping right through his fingers; Crowley could nearly taste the man’s aggravation as he turned away from the lopsided table and swung his gaze across the merchant’s square. It was busy; difficult to walk without brushing elbows with someone else, but ultimately, the angel should have stood out, like always.

“Sir! Sir!” the merchant’s desperation turned to a little fiery pit of anger as Crowley slinked away from his table.

Crowley ignored the man, deciding he may as well chalk it up to another accomplished temptation—the man would push his products hard on the next people, charge them extra out of greed—and walked through the crowd. He was taller than most of the people currently alive on the Earth, which should have made it easy to crane his neck and find the angel, but he had no such luck.

Feeling only the mild presence of Aziraphale, Crowley abandoned his desperate search and resorted to a sort of languid stalking, weaving his way past every merchant’s table with feline slowness and attention. 

The angel couldn’t have changed that much, could he? He was practically identical every time Crowley found him: naively optimistic, stubbornly good, potentially a bit of a pushover when it came from his head office…not that Crowley could blame him. Aziraphale was an angel; he was supposed to be good, after all.

And so it was no wonder that they kept arriving in the same place. That was kind of the point.

Crowley would even go so far as to say he occasionally sought the angel out. With most of his colleagues both lacking in social skills and mostly working in the bowels of Hell, he didn’t have many people to be himself around.

A familiar flit of mild tempered laughter cut across the square and Crowley stopped and twisted on his heel. He bumped and nudged his way around the corner and—

“I can say I’ve never tasted such scrumptiously fresh fruit before!” Aziraphale said, completely genuine, grinning at the rudy faced girl behind the table laden with newly imported fruits.

“Aziraphale?” Crowley said, voice a bit higher than usual, eyebrows making a slow journey to meet his hairline. For it was certainly Aziraphale, though the noble-styled cream colored gown and unruly curly hair reaching past the angel’s shoulders was a vast change from...well every other time Crowley had seen the angel.

The angel’s eyes widened. “Crowley!” She glanced at the merchant girl before stepping away from the table. “How pleasant it is to see you.”

“Is it?” Crowley smiled a ghost of a little smile and eyed Aziraphale from the somehow-pristine bottom embroidered hem of dress to the belted waist and puffy sleeves. Her hair was scandalously uncovered for the humans of this era, which the demon found both amusing and befitting of the angel. “Does your head office know about this?”

Aziraphale looked down, as if realizing for the first time her outfit. She brushed a hand, golden ring circling her pinkie, across the soft fabric of the skirt. “Yes well…”

“I thought your lot was into pristine and constant physical forms.”

Aziraphale clasped her hands together. “Yes, we are. But,” she paused and leaned a bit closer, lowering her voice as if expecting to be overheard, “you and I both have spent enough time on earth to know that change is natural. I…I wanted to try something new.”

Crowley’s eyebrows settled back in place. “Indeed. It suits you.” 

Aziraphale’s face brightened, eyes twinkling in the sudden appearance of the sun as the clouds moved out of the way. “Thank you, my dear.”

The demon’s expression softened into brief genuine adoration and then he paused, reconsidered, and bounced back onto his heels for a moment before speaking. “Are you miracle-ing anything in particular here? Today?”

Aziraphale tilted her head upward, frowned and then shook her head. “Not at this very moment. I was just enjoying a little slice of…well, life.”

“Alone?”

“Yes.”

Crowley blinked and nodded, looking everywhere but at the angel before eventually meeting her questioning eyes. “All right then. Come on.”

He started walking off and moments later, Aziraphale’s footsteps fell into place beside him. “Where are we going?” The angel was excited and intrigued; it nearly bled into the words coming out of her mouth.

“I know a place or two.”

“As do I. I’ve been on this planet as long as you have, Crowley.”

“I know that. But I know different places. Run with different crowds.” He glanced down at Aziraphale, challenging her to protest.

She didn’t. Merely sighing and saying, “Tell me this does not involve anything…criminal. I don’t like the thought of being put into a small, damp cell.” She shivered.

Just because they were immortal beings, did not mean they were above human laws if they broke them. The unfortunate side effect of having a corporeal body. 

“No,” Crowley said with a chuckle, not entirely convinced his response was true. “And you could just miracle yourself away.”

Aziraphale frowned, lips pinched. “No. I don’t think I could.”

“You would!”

She shook her head firmly. A piece of crazy hair bounced out of the loose knot at the nape of her neck and stuck out two inches straight into the air. “I couldn’t.”

“If you had to choose between discorporation and escape?”

Worry lined her face and she shrugged a shoulder ever so slightly. “When you put it that way…” And then she stopped. Both speaking and walking. “No. I wouldn’t.”

Crowley stopped and made a dramatic turn around. He walked a couple steps back to the angel and looked down at her. “Escaping prison isn’t inherently bad,” he said from experience. A crease formed in the middle of his brows.

“Oh, and you would know, would you?” she said, exasperated, ignoring Crowley’s hand as it lifted and moved over her shoulder. “But I suppose you’re ri—what are you doing?”

Her voice pitched from morally-right-I-must-have-the-high-ground to soft and questioning.

Crowley squinted, the tip of his tongue peeking out from the corner of his lips as he delicately twined the flyaway curl back into place. “There,” he said, dropping the former conversation and stepping back. And then moving yet another curl into place in front of Aziraphale’s left ear. “Your hair was looking as untidy as your wings the last I saw them.”

Azriaphale’s eyes grew wide. “Crowley!” She glanced around, as if expecting Michael or Gabriel to pop up out of a puddle and exclaim that she was a traitor. When that didn’t happen, she relaxed and her cheeks went nearly rosy. “Well, thank you.” She reached up a hand to pat down her hair, thought better of it and brushed her fingers against Crowley’s hand instead for the briefest of moments before turning back in the direction they’d originally been walking.

“Now, where were we headed?” she asked, hands once again clasped in front of her.

Crowley, frozen in place for a moment from the excruciatingly soft touch, cleared his throat and started forward, pointing upward and to the right. “There,” he said, as if there weren’t hundreds of buildings in that direction.

“Perfect,” Aziraphale said as the sun came fully out from the clouds. The clouds that quickly dissipated completely, leaving the angel and the demon bathed in the warm light and soft breeze as they walked through the streets of Brindisi.

a/n 2.0: this was just an excuse to imagine aziraphale with long hair and in a floor-length historic dress; originally this was gonna take place right after the arrangement was made but i wanted them to be more smitten with each other so here we are. i also left out the angsty epilogue about why aziraphale changed back to short hair and masculine clothes bc it was too sad.

[gg-astrology]

Hi thank you for quickly answering about my sun-moon combo and my ascendant 😊 I learned that I'm a second decan aries.. If you don't mind I have something to ask about some of my placements I have Jupiter retrograde in Leo in the 5th house opposite my saturn in aquarius in the 10th house, my saturn also squares my moon in Taurus in the 1st house, I have been having a really hard time.. My saturn return will be soon too 😭 right now I'm in a place where I dnt know where to go..

Hey there!! 💕💕💕 I’m so sorry I didn’t reply to this immediately :(( I jus saw it now, I hope things are going well for u!! I had to take a week off as well phew things have been Kicking My Ass 💕💕💕

So I gotta break this down a lil for me.... Leo Jupiter rx in 5th, 

Taurus Moon in 1st, square Aquarius Saturn in 10th 

Phew ok, so to address your saturn return (congrats for getting to this point btw!!💕💕💕) hopefully things will be better for you or at least, revert to something more manageable 💕💕💕 Depending on transit, it can be harder or easier for the person bc of the natal placement as well (Jupiter’s in Sag right now and Saturn is in Capricorn) 💕💕

When I do social planets (Jupiter/Saturn) I try to look at generational planet too. It has a strong impact/influence on each other, so somethings to look out for-- Uranus is in Taurus now and once it reaches an aspect with your Aquarius Saturn (square) that will be around the time you might be forced to go through unexpected changes. It’s a good time right now, to prepare for that. Try to prep yourself to be ‘open’ to things, flexibility, paths.

Long-term plan might change, and stability might get wonky, try not to rely too much on what you ‘know’ of the world, or your position or who you are-- often times Aquarius likes over-hauls. Overture of their personality, public reception or criticism, life paths and independence. That’s in essence part of their self-transformation and individuality.

It can be a period where you’re humbled to start finding different paths/structure for yourself again. Remember that Aquarius is one of the ruler of Saturn, but often time it’s rebellious (unlike Capricorn). The 10th house has to do with the public, so a lot of the time-- you may fare better if you prepare to be confident in yourself/your changes thus you don’t feel like you’re completely losing your footing in the public y know (as opposed to others opposing you, and then you start doubting yourself/feeling isolated/alienated again) 

The main key here is that the 10th house is the highest point in your chart, and often times when it’s going through some changes --- you’ll have to consider how ‘others’ are going to see your problem/situation too and will most likely judge you for it. In an ‘unexpected’ aspect (Uranus-Saturn) a lot of restructuring might surface, frustration and tension tend to rise.

Evaluate-- clearly, why little things rile you up or make you tense. This is a sign that you should probably start keeping checklists for yourself on what kind of changes, paths, restructuring you’d like to make because-- most of the time, the criticism/frustrations are valid. They are things that do require changes, because you are growing as an individual and you deserve to have a better path and goal for yourself.  

Of course things might get turbulent, but again-- try to believe in yourself and not others/what you materialistically have or has built up for yourself. You’re still growing, and this saturn return is going to have you humbling and starting from the ground on certain things if it gets to that (potentially/not always). 

There’ll be period where you’ll have to question the stressful system, limitation or restrictions you’ve been complacent/settled into. Think of this period as something to cut off the excess, to renew and revigorate yourself. Aquarius demands alot of hard disciplining lessons, you’ll have to be flexible and patient. 

Unlike Capricorn, it’s a period where you’ll most likely have to wait for things/circumstances to come to you and adapt/flex as you go (air sign after all, even if it’s fixed) Aquarius is self-made, even if it’s at the cost of the things it’s built for itself crumbling. 

Communicate, if you can-- and try to let others know what you’re doing along the way (doesn’t have to be the same people, new people who come into your life are often good choices too) build support for yourself with those who see, and can accept the changes you’re going through. Who has your best interest instead of those who clings to the old or has their own personal insecurity in mind. 

It’s completely normal to not-- know exactly where to go, or feel like you’re losing sight of things you knew were sure before (if that happens for you) remember it’s a period where planning and clinging onto the past will be faced with Taurus Uranus’s questioning-- most likely, there’ll be frustration to an extent. So try to be patient, flexible and open-mind about circumstances. And believe in yourself. You’re your biggest supporter here, so do it! 

Try not to resist the changes, or over-think too much. It’s a time and period where your Aquarius will be put through some test of patience. Think of it as a round of Taurus vs Aquarius boxing match, but instead of seeing it as black as white as that. Taurus is actually trying to make Aquarius manifest itself better by working as the catalyst for Aquarius to take action and get back into it’s original energetic form-- that is, believing in the self, being someone who can often think or see past old out-dated thinking, methodical planning but not exactly commitment, and working with the flexibility of air-- and the amusement of fixed signs. Try to reconsider that instead.

If problems start arising, restrictions starts forming and you can see that it’s causing you frustration. Deal with it or don’t let it settle into your new life with you, learn how to tackle these problems instead of ignoring it or letting it get to you. Remember, Aquarius can often ‘explode’ too, so make sure you deal with things the way level-headed Aquarius can do. 

Right, that’s probably not coming right now though... And we’ll be going through some Pluto shifting into Aquarius as well--- maybe that’ll catalyst something for you too. Make sure to consider your personal placements as well, but let’s get back to your natal??

Jupiter opposition Saturn can sometimes make the individual ---hmm swing between wanting something, having the other. It’s a matter of swinging between recklessness, spontaneously, ‘good things come when you act upon it/want it’ versus being too cautious, hesitant and serious that you end up don’t do things at all. Individuals of this position may often find themselves working between the two--- as they may find that having patience, perseverance and channeling their attitude forward tends to help them with situation a lot of the time.  

You’ll notice it, but both of these social planets makes the ‘public’ important to the individual, needing to seek approval or being seen can happen too (knowing how they’re seen) a certain way is always an important component. Through transits and whatever is happening (saturn return), it may become more prominent with you and you may feel frustrated that-- you act or say/seek things a certain way, when you really want to seek approval of yourself or find communication harder to bare, harder to be accepted, harder to beloved.

Realizing habits/behaviour pattern of yourself when you’re with others is common, Leo/Aquarius aren’t dumb and are very aware of how criticisms against their character can go. Often times you want to deal with internal problems like--- ‘no this is who i want to be/who i am’ yet at the same time, you keep acting in other ways. This frustration might be more prominent, particularly because it’s squaring your Moon that holds your emotions. Taurus here is at a position where it wants to be honest, open. But at the same time, the quarreling between Leo/Aquarius can be hard to settle in mutual agreement if you aren’t just shutting/suppressing them down completely.

Thats why being confident, prepping yourself to be ready for your Saturn return is important. The earlier section-- also I hope you can read the Saturn post as well, might be helpful? 💕 Don’t rely too much on thinking ‘oh this is like my childhood’  -- certain things can stick and stay, leaving a taint/mark on you if you let it ‘settle’ into a norm for you. Dealing with things and small frustration, talking to people, helps a lot 💕💕💕 I hope this is helpful to you! 💕

[goyangii]

gonna reblog with some infos bc someone tagged me in the notes and i can't see it (this gd app i s2g), and bc i'm enraged at the amount of misinfo/disinfo.

i'm korean. i've gone to korean baths/spas since i was a kid. it is normal to see other people naked, fully, in the baths. they're single-sex (men have one side, women have the other), and once you enter, you're supposed to take off all your clothes and put them in a locker. you are then, from that point on, fully naked in the single-sex baths area, which has the showers you have to go through before you go in the baths (so you don't get your nasty gunk in the baths everyone is in), plus massage tables etc.

there's often a mixed sauna area, but these exist past the single-sex baths (where you're naked) and to enter that area you have to first change into these "uniforms" that they give you, which are usually color-coded to sex. the one near my house has women as pink and men as blue. example picture:

there's also usually a place to eat but i'm not going to get into that. you have to wear the uniform to enter that area obviously.

these types of baths/spas often have children because it's typical to go with your family, even to stay overnight (they have special rooms for this, and it's an extra charge ofc). this isn't just going to the spa, this is usually a bonding experience. they're usually pretty fairly brightly lit in the baths area, and you are expected to be fully naked — covering yourself with a towel won't get you scolded by anyone, but if you have ever been to a korean bath/spa, you will know the general culture is to just let it all hang out. having children in this area isn't sexual, nor is it ever ever ever meant to be!! the vulnerability of being like this, and having children in this space, is why it's so important that these areas are single-sex. women in the women's bath don't even wear makeup (and korean women usually don't leave the house w/o at least some makeup), they are fully exposing themselves to each other by virtue of just being stark naked and having to walk around naked. this isn't a sexual or exhibitionist thing. the towels you get are like pathetically small if you wanted to try to cover yourself. it's hard to find a good picture that gives a sense of the size but i think this gives a sense:

as you can see, that's not going to cover your body, and you('re supposed to) grab only one lol.

to act like a mother being upset that her daughter was exposed to someone of the opposite sex in an area that, culturally, is supposed to be single-sex (not single-gender), in a setting where everyone is not only naked but where being together in the buff and relaxing in the baths/sauna is a bonding experience, is so remarkably ignorant. it's not a 9 year old's fault for seeing your dangling schween, it's your fault for bringing it into a space that's historically only ever been for vulvas.

if you walk into a bathhouse, with a whole dick and balls, and get upset that women and girl children in a single-sex space reserved for females, and those women rightfully complain, and your response is that it was their fault? maybe reconsider your priorities. nobody complaining at wi spa wanted to kill trans women, or not allow them to enter the building. they didn't want them to enter the female only spa, and that's fair — trans women aren't, and never will be, female. they can identify as women, they can transition to emulate women, but they are not female by virtue of the definition. and bet your ass any trans person entering a public bath like this is aware they are going to make people uncomfortable. consider why their desire to use a bath of the sex they are not trumps the safety and comfort of the women and girls in that situation, and why a group that's majority white (the trans movement is made up of roughly 55% white people, and only ~8% "other", incl. asians) feel the need to tell koreans how our baths/spas need to operate after literally centuries of their existence as they were. fuck all the way off.

Alright more learned people of tumblr, I have a question. I keep seeing the news article about the trans woman at a spa who was naked in the women's changing room and flashing peen. That's not a regular normal thing right? I thought we had all agreed that women have the right to not be exposed to penis they don't want to see?