#:’) I’m still struggling but I really miss drawing 😭

[kiingbiing]

Raph my beloved

[rhey-007]

I can't help falling in love with you

serial killer!Max Verstappen x reader || 18+

Summary: Moving back to your childhood house was never in your plans, but after your parents' death you couldn't let go of it. After moving in and meeting your new neighbor everything seemed to fall apart, but you're too oblivious to notice the obvious.

Warnings/Tags: 18+, GORE (gutting), mentions of smut, kidnapping, restraining, torture, violance, female reader, creepy/jealous/yandere Max

A/N: It's Halloween y'all! So I decided to write a Halloween horror story :)) It's the first time I wrote something like this but I feel like it's good. And I've been writing it for past 2 weeks and can't seem to finish so there will be a part 2 on Sunday 😭 + sorry for typos 😬

Wordcount: 4364

P2

༶❃.✮:▹💀◃:✮.���

Moving back to your childhood house was never in your plans. But there you were, standing in front of the small, falling appart house taking a deep breath and opening the creeking door. The noise was so loud you could bet the whole street heard it.

After one last breath you slowly walked in. The inside looked just as you remembered, but old, dirty and dusty. Family photos hanged where they always did – you were surprised your parents haven’t taken them down after you left – an old bouquet of dead flowers stood on the welcoming console – you already planned on keepping them as you loved collecting dried flowers.

Walking further in you noticed your old drawings still hanged on the fridge door – neither of them dirty or ripped – as well as all your magnets from various family trips. In the living room your baby blanket layed on the sofa.

It surprised you, everything as for right now showed that your parents never forgot about you even though you didn’t have any contact. You wondered if your room looked the same as you left it, and it did. You always thought your parents would change it into a home gym or something like that but it was left untouched, only your favourite teddy bear was missing.

Roaming the house further you’ve found it in your parents’ bedroom on the nightstand. Tears started to fill your eyes, you were so cruel for them for the past few years and they never forgot about you, even tried to have you as close as they could even though you were far, far away. Warm hands creeping around your waist shook you out of your trance.

“Hey, it’s okay...”

Your boyfriend George whispered and placed a kiss on top of your head before spinning you around and pressing against his chest into a tight hug. A few tears fell down your cheeks, wetting George’s shirt but he didn’t mind. You were greatful you had him, especially in such hard times.

After you calmed down the two of you went back downstairs to bring inside your suitcases and boxes with stuff. A young man, new neighboor, caught your eye when you left.

He was mowing the grass, or rather struggling with turning on his old lawnmower, and he noticed you too. He gave a sheepish smile and scratched the back of his neck while a soft blush appeared on his face. You chuckled a little and asked George to come over with you and offer help.

The man agreed with a sigh and soon you were standing in front of your neighbours house. It was way bigger and prietter than yours, which made you wonder and imagine what it looked like inside. It looked like a mansion outside so you thought it had to look so bougey inside too.

“Hi, we’re your new neighbours. Well... kind of... I lived here as a kid”

You explained quickly with a sweet smile.

“I’m Y/N and this is my boyfriend George, can we help you?”

You introduced yourself and George before offering help which the man reluctantly agreed to.

“I’m Max, nice meeting you. And I’m sorry for the problem... I really need to buy a new lawnmower but don’t really have time...”

Max sighed and smiled awkwardly at you while George tried to turn on the machine and you chatted with Max. He moved in a few years ago so he might have known your parents.

He admitted he was an owner of quite a big company, that was why he lived in such a luxury but you wondered why he opted for a small house in the suburbs instead of a flat in the middle of the town. He on the other hand, found out that you were a daughter of his late neighbours.

“They were good people”

He said, but you knew better. Max watched you closely as you talked, watched how your dimples showed when you smiled, how your ginger hair shined in the sun, how you fiddled with your fingers as if you were anxious but your demeanor said otherwise. Just in those few minutes the man was able to memorise your behaviour and ticks.

After a few tries and some digging in the engine, your boyfriend finally turned the machine on.

“There you go buddy”

He smiled kindly.

"Now excuse us, we gotta head back to unpacking”

He politely excused yourselves before leaving.

“I wish I could help but knowing my luck if I turn this shit off right now I won’t be able to turn it back on later. But! Maybe you could come over and eat supper with me and my friend? Will 6pm be okay?”

“Oh um... I-I'm not sure... We don’t want to be a burden...”

“Oh you wouldn’t, believe me. Daniel loves meeting new people and I could pay off the debt... Sooo? “

"I’ll have to ask George but I’m sure he’ll agree”

“Great! Then see ya later, good luck!”

“Good luck to you too!”

You waved goodbye before rushing off to help George with a heavy box. He insisted on carrying it in by himself, but you knew better to not let him or he’d break something, again...

༶❃.✮:▹💀◃:✮.❃

By the time the evening came you were done cleaning almost the whole house and unpacking just the most necessary things. George wasn’t keen on eating supper with the newly met neighbour and his friend but you’ve managed to convince him with a fun time afterwards. It always worked.

You changed from your house clothes to something more suitable but still comfortable for a meeting and left dragging your boyfriend behind yourself. You didn’t even manage to knock or ring the doorbell when a tall, dark haired man opened the door and let you in.

"I’m Daniel. You’re new neighbours right?”

He greeted eagerly, shaking your hands like crazy. The man was full of energy which terriffied you a little, but it quickly changed further into the night.

“Daniel don’t scare them!”

Max’s voice rumbled in the kitchen .

“Come in, don’t be scared. He’s just excited! "

Walking into the kitchen you could finally take a good look at the interior. It was just how you imagined it to. Modern with a hint of vintage, light walls, golden chandelier hanging above the glass table and fully equipped and up to date kitchen – which you could only dream about. It was beautiful.

You sat down by the table after George pulled a chair for you, as he always would. You’d never thought you’ll find yourself a true gentleman but there he was, all yours. Inhaling the scent of the dish made you remember about saturdays at home.

Your mom used to always make lasagna on saturdays, it was so delicious, you remembered it’s taste even now when you haven’t eaten it for years – and you won’t anymore. Max sitting in front of you with a huge smile made you realize the table was fully set and Daniel and George already started to eat.

“Something wrong?”

The man asked quietly to which you responded with a slight shake of your head and a smile, before trying the food. It was delicious, so delicious you couldn’t believe the blonde made it.

„Homemade or ordered? "

Asking bluntly you felt George's elbow poke your side. It wasn't really polite from you but Max didn’t care.

„Homemade. I know it tastes too good, but I tried my best and it paid off”

The man admitted. He wasn’t affected badly by your question, instead responded with a warm smile that didn’t seem to ever fall. Your honesty impressed while your beauty amazed him.

The supper was enjoyable. Daniel turned out to be a really sweet guy, just a little overjoyed, considering the fact he scared you a tad at first.

Following the meal came board games and wine, even though George wasn’t happy to compete with Max against you and Daniel, but you kind of addpoted the tall man. He was too cute to ignore, making your boyfriend hella jelous, but you were going to recompensate him that later anyway.

The two of you won every round of whatever game, which didn’t please Max. You could see it. You could see the way the vain on his forehead throbbed while he struggled with George, how his hands curled in fists every time Daniel laughed at him, but he tried not to explode as best as he could.

You felt bad for the blonde. Daniel later explained that he was a bad looser but worked on it and that such session was good for him. It made you feel relieved at least a little bit.

When the night started to fall and more and more yawns escaped your lips George decided that it was time to leave. You reluctanlty got up and gave Daniel a huge goodbye hug before shaking Max’s hand and leaving the mansion with George’s arm wrapped around your waist.

When you made it to your new bedroom – which was an old guest room – you insisted on pleasing your boyfriend just as you promised, even though he said you didn’t have to as he knew you were tired. But you were too stubborn and soon George layed underneeth you half naked as you undressed yourself, his hands roaming your body.

Sitting up the man wrapped them around your waist pulling you closer while his lips planted soft kissed along your jaw then down your torso. You couldn’t bother to close the curtains, no one could see you anyway, especially in the dim light of your small nightstand lamp.

But a feeling of someone watching you was constantly appearing in the back of your head.

After you, left also Daniel, leaving Max alone in his huge house - as always. The man didn’t feel alone in it, not anymore knowing that a beautiful and georgous woman like you lived just across the street.

Instead of cleaning the mess Max made his way upstairs to his master bedroom. Not turning on the light but instead opening the curtains letting the moonlight in, the man sat on his bed watching every your move, trying to remember every detail about your body and how it moved.

He wished he was the one laying on the bed, surveying your body, touching your soft, pale skin as you undressed, instead of your stupid boyfriend.

The blonde couldn’t believe someone like George was able to pull you, such a sweet and mesmerizing creature. Have you not noticed his humongous, terrifying eyes staring into your soul? It was quite long since someone caught Max’s eye the way you did. All of them were awlays already taken, but not for long...

༶❃.✮:▹💀◃:✮.❃

A few months passed since you moved back to your childhood house. Those few months were very calm and enjoying although you always had a feeling someone watched you. Watched your every step, every move, everything you did. Also some of your things started to disappear, or maybe it was just your amazing ability to loose them.

All the free time you had, you used to bring the building back to life. It looked way better than before. Fresh, pastel yellow paint graced the outdoors walls, pots filled with red flowers hanged from the ceiling on the porch, a white, wooden swing sat there too.

The only thing you still had to work on was the lawn, but you needed George’s help who worked longer hours than you, coming back home late in the evening, drained from life and any energy.

You told him multiple times to change the job as the money wasn’t adequate to working hours nor the amount of things he did, but he refused saying he won't be able to find a better one.

Sometimes you wondered if he enjoyed the work and exhaustement, that's why he refused to leave. Him not having a job wouldn't have changed much anyway, you've earned more than him anyway and your salary alone was able to cover all the expenses.

Max saw that too. He noticed how you struggled alone with the lawn, just to quickly give up and go back inside, how you did all the chores around the house by yourself which clearly pissed you off.

He noticed that your boyfriend came back home late, not able to please your needs or at least talk with you. If it was him on George's place he wouldn’t care if he was tired or not, instead being all over you the moment he came back home, doing everything you needed him to and more, talking with you about everything and nothing.

He couldn’t let you suffer because of him. No... He had to do something about that.

One night George didn’t come back home at all, which made you worry. He could either be cheating on you or something happened, there was no other option.

To addition to your worry he didn’t answer your calls nor texted back. It was midnight when you heard a car pulling up, you shot up from the couch and run up to the window just to be disappointed immediately.

It was just Max coming back from work. It was weird though, he never came back so late. You sighed and decided to call it a day and try to contact your boyfriend the next day. But he didn’t answer then either, nor the next day.

You finally decided to go to the police station and report his missing. They took it immediately and they assured you they’d try their best to find him. But they didn’t succeed...

༶❃.✮:▹💀◃:✮.❃

That day George was back home way before you, wanting to surprise you with a dinner he was about to make, then try to clean the house as much as he could.

He walked into the house, not bothering to lock the door behind himself, then stepped into the kitchen and dropped the bags full of ingredients onto the kitchen counter.

After changing into home clothes, George started to prepare everything needed for the spaghetti, when he felt a huge pain in the back of his head and his vision went black.

The man woke up after a few hours, to the sound of classical music and sharpening knives. He tried rubbing his head, but was restrained, tied to a chair in a dark basement.

„You finally woke up Georgie”

Russell heard a voice say, but was unable to tell who the person standing in front of him was, because of the darkness. The lamp hanging above his head barely lightened him, not reaching far into the room. The man walked up to George and put his sharp knife under his chin, making him look up.

„You thought one dinner would be able to recompensate Y/N all the time she has to spent to keep the house in a good condition?... "

A sharp laugh vibrated through the room, until it suddenly stopped and the knife pressed against George's neck.

„You're funny "

The strange man stepped closer to George, the light finally hitting his face. Max smiled maniacally, he was going to have whole lotta fun...

Russell’s head hit the metal table, almost knocking him out before Max splashed cold water onto his face.

„Uh, uh, uh. No sleepin, we haven’t even started "

The man strapped him down then approached a trolley, his fingers running through the various torture tools he owned.

„What should I use first... "

Max wondered out loud while George tried to release himself, without success.

„Wha-what do you even want from me?! What have I done?! "

He screamed into the dutch'es face after he turned around, holding a pair of scissors then cutting George’s sweater in half.

„Oh you know well what you've done. If you were smart enough, you'd notice I even said it”

The man could feel Max's cold finger run down his chest to his abs. He picked back his knife and pressed it to George’s stomach, pushing it slowly in and listening how the man screamed in pain.

When the knife was deep enough, he made a sharp move, opening him up and revealing his intestinal tract.

„Looked at these beauties... "

Max peaked inside, opening the wound more and more while Russel choked on his tears. He breathed heavily, which was hard because of the toument, fear spreading through his whole body.

„Is this really... J-just about me... Not having time?... "

He managed to choke out while looking down his body, the sight made him sick. Max's fingertips were already covered in blood, from touching the intestines, his lips spread in a horrific smile, eyes shining in awe at the sight.

„I knew... I knew there was something wrong with you... You better stay... Stay away from her! "

He tried to fight, but the slightest move turned into an unbearable agony.

„Well... It's not like you’re gonna do anything about this lover boy. Not anymore at least... "

Max shrugged and flashed George his white teeth then his hand dipped inside his stomach to soon pull out the large intestine. Russell cried out in pain, closing his eyes which angried Verstappen.

Throwing the organ to the ground he opened his eyes with force. He clipped his eyelids pulling them softly out so his humongous, blue eyes could stay open the whole time and watch the terror.

„You're gonna watch how I ruin you, either you like it or not... "

The man whispered into George’s ear, his hot breath made a shiver run down his spine, their eyes locked. Max's hand traveled back to the wound, slowly creeping inside.

„I want you to say it... Say sorry for your absence... "

He whispered once again before straightening up and watching George from above. He studied his face, how his nose scrunched at the pain, eyes desperately trying to close and chest rising and falling rapidly.

He liked that sight. No. He loved it. He loved to cause him pain, thinking it was fair and well deserved. The man pulled out his small intestine, inch by inch, waiting for the apology.

„I-I'm sorry okay... I-I tried... I tried... I should have... I should have changed the fucking job god!... I fucked... I know I did... But it's not a reason to kill me you psycho!”

With one sharp pull his small intestine was out and on the ground, blood splattered everywhere, some sticking to Max's face. In that moment he looked like a true serial killer and George started to fear about you.

„That's the only thing I wanted to hear. Now... See you on the other side”

With that words Max reached for George’s heart pulling it out with one go and finally killing the man. He then stripped him off the meat and the skin from the face, hanging the later made mask obove his desk.

„Well... It surely was fun... "

„Wise men say

Only fools rush in

But I can’t help falling in love with you... „

༶❃.✮:▹💀◃:✮.❃

It was a month since you last saw him. The first few weeks you cried yourself to sleep which hurt Max. It hurt him to look at you in that miserable state, crying over a man that didn’t even deserve you.

Weirdly, he was the only person able to fully comfort you. He invited you over for dinner or supper every day or visited you to join eating so you wouldn’t be alone, he helped you around the house – even hired a maid in the first weeks to help you.

The man was so sweet and caring, he made you forget about George by the time Christmas came. He then thought he finally had a chance with you until you appeared on his porch, holding a hand of some strange man, introducing him as your new boyfriend.

“Max, this is my new boyfriend, Sergio. Sergio, Max is my neighbour – obviously – and my close friend”

You smiled up at both men as they shook each other’s hands, Max gripping Checo’s tightly giving him a death glare. Max understood you tried to finally move on and live a normal life, but why couldn’t you move on to him?

After all those things he had done for you, all the nights he’s spent by your side, all the money he’s spent on you, you chose some stranger over him?

Blood boiled in his vains thinking about it and watched your new boyfriend hand him a Christmas gift. He accepted it only because of you, smiling sweetly when you were leaving.

‘’I don’t think he likes me...’’

Sergio whispered as you walked away but you just shook your head with a chuckle.

Checo was just as sweet as George. You tried not to compare them together but it was too hard. You've noticed they were really similar, but Checo had way more time for you than George did.

You've also noticed the change in Max's behaviour, it wasn’t anything big but after a year of your friendship you knew when something was wrong, you just couldn’t figure out what. It started when he met Sergio and from then on he was so cold towards him, not like towards George.

The vain on his forehead was about to pop every time he saw you two together, everytime you smiled because of the Mexican, every time you laughed because of him.

„Was he jealous? "

You wondered but pushed that thought aside. He couldn’t, he was your friend after all.

Sergio was a dream boyfriend, a knight on a white horse. He helped you around the house, didn’t rush your relationship letting you get used to him before doing something and most importantly he truly listened to you and didn’t ignore even the stupidest of your fears or needs, not like George.

But the dream quickly fell appart when you let down your walls and the two of you got too comfortable around each other. He moved in with you without even asking, as his landlord kicked him out.

You couldn’t understand why thought. He had a well paid job yet couldn’t affort a low budget apartment? Well, turned out he lost it some time ago and haven’t told you about it.

From that time he stayed home all the time, doing shit, occasionally leaving in the evening for a few hours. He was really stressed and frustrated, sometimes rising his voice at you when you did something wrong, but then quickly apologising and offering a massage to comfort you.

But that aslo passed rather quickly and with time his shouting became a daily thing. One day he hit you. A juicy slap across your face, leaving a red mark.

You were fighting over his shouting again but this time he didn’t hold back. That’s when you found out how he really was.

Brutal, disregarding your opinion, caring only about sex and a ‘maid’, in one word – despot. Yet he was so sweet at the beginning. You felt fooled...

You were too scared to tell anyone, so scared the man would hurt you even more and you had enough of bruises and cuts you tried so good to cover.

No one seemed to notice it, beside Max. He didn’t want to mention them though, as he figured you wouldn’t like to talk about it.

Every time he invited you over for dinner you either didn’t come because Sergio didn’t let you, or came just for a few minutes before the man burst in and dragged you back home angrily.

Max couldn’t understand why you just didn’t kick him out and leave him. Only two months after Checo started to be aggressive he disappeared. You felt so good when he didn’t come back home for a few days straight and quickly threw away all his stuff. You finally felt free...

༶❃.✮:▹💀◃:✮.❃

Kidnapping Sergio was the easiest thing ever. The man wandered through the two , eventually stopping by one if the alleys and walking in. He lit a cigarette and watched the stary sky while waiting for a dealer. Soon a car parked in front of the alley, a hooded man walked out making his way towards Checo.  

„Here” 

He handed him the money and stretched his other hand waiting for stranger to give him the drugs. The man quickly took the money then tazed Checo, getting him unconscious.  

Slowly opening his eye, Sergio grunted in pain. His body was stiff, half naked, laying on cold metal. The man looked around, the only thing he was able to see was himself, but he could hear footsteps from behind. Trying to roll his head up, he noticed his hands tied to some machine and a back of a man, quietly humming an Elvis song.  

„Well... Well... Well... Look who has finally woken up... "

The Dutch smiled from ear to ear, making his way over to Perez.  

„Verstappen?! I knew there was something wrong with you! You better let me go or-"

„Or what? "

The blonde cut in.  

„It's not like you're gonna do something about this. You can’t afterall... Besides... You deserve it” 

Max hissed turning on the machine that bit by bit started to stretch Sergio's body. The Mexican screamed, wiggling and trying to break free but was tied too hard, only giving himself more pain.  

„You son of a bitch! You're a fucking monster! "

He shouted and spat on Max's face. The Dutch frowned and only turned up the speed slightly, after wiping his face.  

„I am a monster? Maybe tell it to Y/N, after all... You were the key hurting her. Not me... Now. You better apologize” 

He hissed and increased it even more, the screams and noises of breaking bones and muscles filled his ears, they sounded like honey. But Sergio wasn’t going to apologize. Nothing was going to make him to apologize for what he'd done. He'd rather die than say it.  

„Fine... "

Max sighed unsatisfied finally raising the pace to maximum. Sergio’s body teared in half, blood splattered everywhere making the man groan in pleasure and lick the blood off his lips.  

"Shall I stay?

Would it be a sin

If I can't help falling in love with you? "

[lovebvni]

holaaa!! (dr rant + just an appreciation post)

(TW SLIGHT HINT TO GROOMING)

soo i’m shifting soon and i decided that im going to make my first album when i get there (LIKE START JT, DUDE. START IT. IM SO EXCITED) there’s going to b an ep i’m going to finalize when i get there and it will be released on the 26th of the month i get there (as it is kinda a diss on a MAN who was 26 when we dated… i was a minor still.)

i’m also gonna make a family tree because i’m really bored (and i also kinda js wanna see all my siblings yk? im gonna draw them all soon bc like AUGH AJAJDKDJ I MISS THEM!!!)

omgz i’m so excited dude!!

(appreciation below!!)

also i saw billie eilish in my dream last night. one of the funniest and sweetest people i know 😭 SHARK WAS ALSO IN THAT DREAM HES SO SWEET ‼️‼️ god i wish i could hug them today, just right now. yall don’t understand how much billie and finneas have been through together, and im so proud of how far they made it. i love you both, and although you won’t see this post in this reality, i know you will when we r together :DDD u guys make me so happy, so inspired, and just a better person overall. also huge thank you to billie in helping me with directing my music videos and being featured in one of my favorite songs — ripple effect. thank you finneas for just 😭 for keeping her alive, giving her a passion, and being so protective and supportive of her.

i’m so excited to b friends w both of them n js talk to them daily — it’s so fun.

i’m also super duper excited to meet one of my closest friends — nile — in person finally!!!! it’s been like 3 years of shifting together, and i know she’s excited too. i know she’s reading this, btw so i love u sm nile and thank u for being such a great and perfect friend throughout this whole journey. i truly don’t think i would still be kicking without you. i owe you the world, and i know you’re going to be blessed with many MANY things in the coming months, and the years following will be some of your best, but that’s only a taste of what is truly to come.

i’m so proud of you, and i’m also so round of everyone that has been clinging onto shifting even though it hurts. i’m always here for you. i love you all so so much. i want the best for you, and i know you’re going to get it. i’m always here to help in ANY way i can. ask me anything, i promise you i will answer with the wisdom God and the universe has given me!!

i cannot express my gratitude to my father, loki, enough. i don’t know how to even put it into words. he’s been there at my hardest, he’s been there at my best. i don’t think i would actually even be this far without him either. he’s one of the silliest and sweetest people ive ever met. i can’t believe he’s my FATHER you guys!! ITS SO COOL AUGHH

i also have so many people here i need to thank, there’s more that i can think of right now but just know i love and appreciate every one of you guys.

staring with @smellofemale!! you were such a sign when i met you. i don’t think i’ve met a christian shifter — you’re the only one i still talk to if i have! im just so so sooo blessed to have met you. i don’t know what to say, dude! i love you so much. you’re so sweet, so kind, and so inspiring. i love you!

@eneablack although you’re one of my newest friends, you’re another really really inspirational one. you’re so open about your struggles with shifting, even though you’ve had success time and time again. it shows me and many others how shifting sometimes is a hard thing to get used too, even with successes under your belt!

@daisys-reality! if you don’t know them, FOLLOW IMMEDIATELY PLEASE OMGGJAJSN she gives some of the best and most accurate readings i could ever ask for. also her drs (specifically her mermaid one) have inspired me so much!!

@kanachaka UR AO COOL BRO I JS LOVE SEEING UR POSTS AJSJDKDJD

@kazylynn i love u sm!! u rlly show me i can be an inspiration to others, and that’s something i’ve hoped for all my life. i want to be a good, helpful person — and i love you for showing me i can be.

@babybearthepsychic a few months ago you gave me a free reading that was just so accurate and so real. i don’t know if i would still be on this spiritual journey without it, because i was at one of my hardest points then. i cannot believe how just truly accurate and kind you are. i love you so much, you’re doing amazing. i wish i could give you the biggest hug, and i could donate like a million dollars to u rn but i literally don’t have a job 😭

@zipperrants i don’t think i rlly need to explain this… dude i thought u we’re so cool even when u we’re js interacting with @maddies-chronicles and i rlly wanted to interact w u so bad but i was so so scared bro!! and thank u hale for giving me the opportunity to meet them!!

@accidentalshifter YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW MANY PEOPLE U REPRESENT IN THIS RESLITY — YOURE ONE OF THE FIRSR ADULT SHIFTERS I SAW ON HERR AND IM SO SO SO SO SOOO FUCKING HQPPY YOURE SO OPEN ABOUT IT! you’re just so free and it’s beautiful. i love you so much

and there are so many more but i just.. im gonna cry i love you all tooo much.. please know u all mean so much to me and i can’t wait to tell u so many stories when i get back, and help u guys shift. i am working so hard to post more, and i pray this post can help me become more active.

so so so much love, to everyone in this community, you’re so wonderful. may the gods bless you.

so much love, peace and joy

the abyss

[unforgettble420]

HI POOKIEE IM BACK 😜. So erm..anyways can I request 42!miles X m!reader who’s like a golden retriever bf who just pops up near Miles and is just really affectionate with miles 😭🙏🏽 but if your requests are closed and u just forgot to change it, ignore this 💕

HOLY SHIT I LOWKEY FORGOT ABT TUMBLR 💀💀 BUT OMGG YESS🤑🤑

THIS LOWKEY IS PROBABLY GONNA BE SHORT (cuz I’m fucking lazy) sorry if this isn’t exactly what I were looking for!

NOT PROOF READ BTW

Anwaysss I’m js gonna do HCs

How you guys met

• you guys would have probably met at school and I think miles would’ve definitely been confused about he’s feelings for u (let’s just say ur the first boy he’s ever liked!)

•at first he definitely thinks of you as a “homie”, “bro” and “friend” as you guys get closer tho he realizes he feels more things for you more then what friends think of eachother…

•he’d. Freak. Out.

• he realizes he needs to sort he’s feelings out, and he does! (With the help of he’s uncle ofc)

How he tells u

• listen there’s so much going on in miles life rn ok… I mean this miles lost he’s dad, he’s mom is struggling, he lives in a not rlly good world (without spider-man) AND HES A VILLAN!!

• so he does what any not out of the closet villan teenager does, js straight up doesn’t tell u.

• so u end up asking him out

What it’s like to date miles

• he’s such a loyal bf and so trusting

• you guys would go in so many dates mainly private dates (due to him not being out) but they’re still so fun and romantic!

• I could see y��all doing little gym dates (he’s gotta keep that physic for being a super villan💪)

• he’d also do drawing for you and of youuuu

• I see him as being a big gifter he probably didn’t buy the item but it’s the thought that counts <3

How u found out he was the prowler!

You were planning on surprising miles with being there at ges house, in he’s room, after he’s night shift! “Fuck!-” miles yelled in agony as the window hit he’s head, “shit- what are u doing here baby?” Miles said in a confused and startled tone “I wanted to surprise u…?” U said “ but I’m why are y going through the window with a black and purple suit…” ur voice getting more and more confused as u talked. He stared at u dumbfounded “ummmm, listen it’s not what it looks like-” he tried to explain! but he couldn’t…

After he explained to you about he’s situation and what’s been going on u obviously we’re concerned and worried about miles and he’s safety! But you knew u loved him to much to leave him, u agreed to be ok with this as long as he didn’t get hurt or killed!!

“Ok wow I really wasn’t expecting all this to happen tonight…! But now that ur here we have to finish that movie!! PLUS I MISS UUU!” You guys obviously snuggled the whole night ❤️

[theflyindutchwoman]

I’m watching 5x04 at the moment, and I’ve been paying closer attention to Tim (and Lucy) during the episode…

And the worry on this stupid man’s face the whole freakin time 😭 and he keeps looking at Lucy like he’s checking that she’s okay.

Like so far this whole episode, he’s just got this look on his face and he keeps making subtle glances in Lucy’s direction.

And I am so emo right now 😭

Eric really said “Rosalind episode? Bet. Watch me make Tim the ultimate Lucy protector without any words” 😂

I haven't rewatched that episode since it aired so I'm writing from memory (on a side note, I seriously need to start my s5 rewatch…).

But yes, those looks… *screaming internally* The worry, the pining… Like the one in the shop, where he subtly tries to check on how she's doing without drawing attention to her, knowing that she would probably hate that… Or the one they exchange when Lucy panics after Bailey asks her where Nolan is and Tim is right there to take over for her… 'Just be a friend. And if you need a cop, tag me in'… And, of course, the one when he is being lowered to the basement… That moment is just exquisite. The love, the longing, the fear… So much emotions… And I'm emo too now!

But for all those little moments, I still felt let down on the Chenford front in that episode. I get that this was rushed due to what was going on behind the scenes with the actress playing Rosalind… But I guess I wanted and needed more emotions, if that makes any sense? That storyline in regards to Lucy and Tim has always been so poignant and it didn't entirely deliver.

It probably didn't help that it happened right when they were stuck in that limbo. It's a tough act to balance his desire to be there for her with the awkwardness between them, the guilt… So I understand that Tim couldn't be as explicitly supportive and protective as before. Like when he gave her back her ring. Or when he was being the Fierce Protector at the prison. And in a way, it offered the perfect contrast to 5.01, in the sense that you could imagine how hard this must have been for them not to reach out to the other. For Lucy not to have anyone to ground her. For Tim not to be able to comfort her. And that's why I wished we saw more of that struggle. How adrift they probably felt. Those looks were great, but something was still missing. Like, I don't know, Tim about to grab Lucy's hand before stopping himself because he doesnt know if he can do this now… Same with Lucy… They share this history with Rosalind and I didn't think it was properly acknowledged.

And then, there's that last scene that kind of bothered me. The way Tim barely reacted to Lucy's turmoil and conflicted emotions at seeing Rosalind's dead body… I need to rewatch it to be certain, but I remember feeling a bit put out by it. I still can't believe that no one asked her how she was doing… The fact that this felt unfinished and rushed didn't help. (Though when I see what they did to Nolan and Bailey in that episode and how her trauma was not only brushed off, but turned into a joke one episode later, I'm actually happy with what we got lol).

[kurtmustdie]

Second entry, Previous | Next

Sketchbook dump because I’m hhwhwhwhwhwhww tired from school

Some of these are from today some are from a week ago lesgo

1st one: a little practice 2-page spread I did a week or so ago so I could get used to drawing hobies hair (I’ve just been struggling with drawing hair a little in general recently idk what’s been going on) but uhhh yeah :) I’m pretty happy with it, I like the one highlighted in yellow on the left page (ignore the foo fighters sticker I got a cd that day so I kept the label for some reason, also my brother gave me that sticker real neat, also the page is so smudged omfg 😭)

2nd: (did this one and the rest today in my online classes because I was bored 🥱) inspired by a post I saw going in depth about Miguel’s personality (go read it, I reblogged it yesterday!!!) he is so kenough this might be my favorite drawing I’ve ever done with him :3 also ace Miguel is canon I’m Sony trust me guys

3rd: random dragon I drew and just made an OC. No they will probably not get any lore. They just exist. Hold your applause /j

4th: warriors au doodles!! Mostly some lore related stuff so I’ll go from left to right with some lil’ tidbits and facts

- the top drawing on the left page is of Reclusebite (Miguel) and his littermate, Dusty (Gabriel, Miguel’s canon brother from the comics that I hear are really bad so I refuse to read them). I don’t think I’ll ever really include Dusty in anything since idk much abt him but I think he’s quite the silly guy. Probably misses his brother because he went on to go start a little kitty club.

- the drawing under that is just a kind of like.. filler thing?? I like the idea of warriors having more than one apprentice for some reason so I liked the idea of Reclusestar having to mentor both Spikepaw (Hobie Brown) and Nightpaw (catified Spider-Man OC, he doesn’t do much storywise.). I think it’s funny. They probably bother him a lot but he still doesn’t care enough to be mad, just annoyed and disappointed sometimes.

- the right page is just spiderdad content because it is canon in this au hehehe,, I like my Brightsky (Peter B Parker) design a lot hes silly and kinda reminds me of fanon harestar designs.

Anyway that’s it I’m gonna post some digital art + headcanons sometimes soon hopefully :)

[dreamtydraw]

hi there!! so I was recently looking for visual novels to occupy my time with, and I came across 21 questions, so I played it. and I loved it. so I played tulipe. and I liked that one a lot too. then I checked out your social media and I was really curious about the ✨️paranormal club lore✨️, so I just played all of them-

I didn't realize it when I was playing the game, but I've seen a lot of your our life art here on tumblr and I can't get over how pretty it is! even when it's just doodles that you do for fun, I still really like your style cause you make everyone look so nice. even if you're just drawing clem in a clown suit, we still love that

I don’t usually draw anymore because even though I used to like it, I feel like I lack all motivation to do it now, but seeing your art is really giving me inspiration to pick up a paper and a pencil and start drawing again :D

I personally share your love for visual novels, and I enjoy replaying yours because they're honestly so nice. I guess I just like seeing the way the story progresses and how relatable the characters feel, especially as a non-binary person who struggles to see themselves represented in games. plus I just like the voice acting in 21 questions

if I'm honest, even if it wasn't my usual genre of romance, night shift was a good play as well, especially for your first game! I can feel the inspiration from horror games and I love those types of things sm. I get why you'd wanna go back and redo it someday, but I think especially in terms of the plot and characters, it had a captivating plot and it was well written... françoise betrayed us tho rip

also this isn't about the games but from what I've seen, it honestly feels like you're a really nice person who happens to be really talented and so you deserve really nice things. even if you haven't been getting them until now, I hope you do start because you deserve it!! I like reading your visual novel rambles bc I agree with a lot of stuff, just me nodding my head in agreement like I wouldn't look crazy if anyone saw me. and it feels nice to see that people still talk about fictif stories to this day cause god they've been collecting dust 😭 I miss those days where I'd be so excited whenever an update was announced... guess I'll never get my rime route now :(

lastly, I just wanna say that I love clem sm. they're literally so cool but still so adorable and I wanna give them all the love and affection. I want us to bake together and then paint each other's nails 💅

and this question has been keeping me awake at night so I just have to ask, I know that at the end of the game he said we'd keep in contact like aurore and her partner, but would they let mc just. follow them to London while he does his thing? there's no point in being in France without your blond french, and I've always wanted to move to an english speaking place anyways... clem can put me in their suitcase, I'll be good 🫶

thank you for listening to my silly rambles, I hope you're having a good day and if not, I really hope it gets better! remember to take care of yourself and take breaks whenever you need them, you're only human so you aren't always gonna be perfect, but at least you know you always try your best even if things don't go the way you want them to <3

Anon whoever you are I love you and I really wish you a wonderful day I started sobbing a bit too hard and now my eyes kinda hurt a bit but your message makes me feel a lot of things and I’m really grateful for such kindness. I’m fucking crying on my poor plushies cause I don’t have tissue, they are all wet and miserable 😭😭😭😭 Words trully can’t explain how much this message means to me, like, this is the kind of message that i’ll keep in my phone gallery to look at when i feel sad and it’s just so sweet and it rassure all the bad things I think about myself so I’m very emotional. It’s 2 am and I had a very long day so I physically and emotionally don’t handle it well but i promise it’s / pos i’m just blabling incoherent thoughts just to say thank you so much and I’m glad you enjoy what I create and I’m glad you draw again and I hope you find joy in making stuff you like + you get soft and cold pillow at night and warm meals in winter anon.

Now i am so sad to spread bad news BUT…. The canon ending of 21 questions is the platonic ending. 21q happens in 2019, Clem move to London in 2021 and ( spoiler alert ) will be spotted in Apple bag which takes place in 2022. Clem’s character and story haven’t entirely been revealed in his game for reasons that I’ll hopefully share in a futur but it’s for the same reasons that realistically… the relationship in 21q is destined to end with distance.

BUT that not the end if you imagine a future with Clem. If your intention is to romance them then there is an open window for the timeline where he’s a bit older. When exactly ? I won’t spoil but all I have to say is that this relationship can work on long term ! It’s just a good person, wrong moment situation and once you know everything about him, then his romance options become more real :}

Mystic talk sorry, like i said i just had an emotional breakdown and it’s late so i will shut my mouth and go to sleep ! Once again thank you so much for your kind words an hopefully you’ll like what I plan to release in the future. Tons of love ❤️

[electromignion]

Thomas Bradshaw and Anne Becker — Bridgewater Fanart 🫶

As I like difficulty here are not one but two Anne/Thomas fanarts in one (+ another little Thomas) (first time I draw Thomas! Wahoo!!) 😭 (might be better to have heard the show fully before reading further!! ‼️🫶)

I had been wanting to draw that for more than a week so I’m glad I’ve finally been able to! There’s a lot to show so in the read more you’ll get the alt versions (without transparency the nowadays Thocker (idk if there’s a ship name for them but for my own sake it’s shorter and it sounds cool to me 👉👈), the 1980 Thocker sepia version, the 1980 coloured version and the newspapers on its own! (Idk if the alt text is truly readable on this app so I’ll also put the text version ⬇️)

The nowadays version of Thocker, I tried to show the age difference and all so it was possible to see that it was from nowadays. My little headcanon, Thomas stole one of Jeremy’s shirt (I usually draw our beloved Jeremy in light blue shirts), and as to Anne, there’s a whole explanation on her nowadays look made myself in that other drawing I did a few days ago.

I decided to do that pose for them because it seemed like something evident to me, that fit them; they’re still pretty much in love, looking at each other, and caressing each other’s cheek from the tip of their fingers but the way their backs are facing the opposite directions is so important to me, they finally reunited but with all the hectic circumstances it’s fated to not last and it’s so sad at the same time and I want to see them happy (I swear) 😩

This whole drawing was actually made only for this and my brain builded it up around it (I don’t know how my brain works either), so this whole thing that took me around 10 hours of my life (it was a really struggle) has been inspired by this post of @draw-the-squad-like-this and I’m forever so thankful for all the pics poses they make my brain sparkle ways I wouldn’t be able to myself 😭🙏

Here are the 1980 Thocker sepia version and coloured version of the drawing!

This is the first time I draw Anne in her 30s so here you go! I thought about making a close couple pose, their love 😩🫶 (and this way it shows the importance of the text on the newspaper as Anne is quoted)

Here’s the journal!

“BRIDGEWATER DAILY

Vol.31 No. 156 20 cents 1980

Local police officer has been reported missing

Thomas Bradshaw has been reported missing after leading an investigation in Freetown State Forest. The police has yet to determine the reason of his disappearance.

A call for witnesses has been made. Anne Becker, his work partner dismisses him deliberately dieppearing “he would never leave his 5 years old son behind"she declares.”

And next to it there is a small black and white portrait of Thomas.

I wanted Anne to be quoted because it shows her proximity to Thomas, and that she also cared about Jeremy 💔

It was also a good background to put an emphasis on their love because 40 years!!!! That’s love 😭 + also the news was known to have been covered a lot and a lot of times as Jeremy was pretty traumatised by it, so it was very probable that local newspapers like this totally invented one by myself would have picked it up right away because of the “buzz” and the mystery surrounding it

If you’ve read that far I hope you liked it and thank you once again for you huge support, lots of love 💜🫶

[theartfulv]

talk shop tuesday: which characters you find more challenging to draw/get their likeness? and which are easier?

Currently I struggle with drawing most of the Lockwood & Co. characters because I’m relatively unfamiliar with them especially Lockwood, less so with Lucy and George, it takes me a long while (veryyy long while) to get consistent with drawing characters. I think I’ve drawn Lockwood properly 5 times max and he looks completely different each time 😂

I remember drawing him for the first time trying to get him to look like himself being annoyed then deciding to trace to learn his features and be able to properly draw him then looking at said tracings and being like ‘Why does it still not look like him?!’ and I still haven’t learned 😭

I find it easier to draw characters that I naturally gravitate towards if that makes sense?

Unrelated to Lockwood, but I find it really easy to draw the Julie and the Phantoms characters I miss drawing them!!

[andvys]

hello and welcome to another read with honey/horny (depending on the mood) anon. this time we're reading I'll miss you forever which sounds like the most painful angst possible and I don't believe in any happy ending in this, I think they're both gonna die 😭

A field where you had once spent evenings and nights with Eddie was now a burned down battle ground. A place that used to fill you with so much happiness was now just a place filled with death and horror. 

great start. totally not heartbreaking at all 😁

Eddie had died a long time ago, you lost count of the months that have passed since the night he had died in your arms, the night you had begged for him to stay, to not close his eyes, to not leave you. 

oh 🥲

Why did he have to draw those bats away? It didn’t change anything.

YEAH THATS ACTUALLY TRUE 😭

You were dying, they knew it but they refused to believe that the person that always protected them, that was always there for them was losing her life. 

OH GIRL NOT YOU LITERALLY DYING I THOUGHT YOUD JUST BE DEPRESSED

“It’s okay, Lucas,” you whispered as Dustin pressed harder against the wound on your stomach, causing you to groan in pain. 

NOT IN FRONT OF THE KIDS!!!

They knew what it was, Max gave them letters when she thought that she would die. 

OH NOOOOO

“We made it! Guys! We won! Vecna is dead, the upside down is gone!”

cool! do you know who also will be gone in a sec? : )

He whispered your name fearfully, he shook your shoulders, “y/n! We made it!” 

NOOOO POOR DUSTIN THE KID IS LIKE 15 AND TRAUMATIZED FOR LIFE

“Come back!” Dustin yelled as he began to sob, “please come back!” 

NOOOO I WANNA HUG HIM

Steve

oh shit

The girl he called his best friend, the girl he hugged just hours ago, the girl he promised a victory was now gone. 

:(((( IM BIG SAD

For the first time in his life, Steve broke down in front of someone else, he laid his forehead against your shoulder and cried, no longer being able to stay strong in front of others, no longer being able to keep his tears in. 

OH MY GOD THIS IS HEARTBREAKING imagine being dead but still seeing alive people mourning you? that be the worst ever

“I’m so sorry, bug,” he whispered as he grabbed you and pulled you into his arms, holding you one last time. He knew how much you struggled without him. How hard you fought to avenge his death and to win this fight, you fought and fought and now you lost.

BUG??? 😭😭😭😭 THIS IS SOOOO SAD

When you opened your eyes again, you were standing in the middle of a field. 

NO STOP IM CRYING ALREADY

“What are you doing here, sweetheart?” He whispered sadly as he brought you closer to him, “it wasn’t your time yet.”

NOOOOOOO TEARS ARE FALLING FROM MY EYES

As long as you have him by your side, you will always be okay.

OHHHH:(

ANDY THAT WASNT A HAPPY ENDING AT ALL :(( IM SO SAD NOW IM TEARING UP LITERALLY :(( very beautiful but also heartbreaking 💔

to brighten up the mood i came up with a pun for my name to use when reading angst... melanHONEY anon (badum tss) ....... (crickets) (booing) (throwing tomatoes at me) (no one laughed)

the intro to this was perfect 😂 i was actually watching sad eddie edits earlier and then got this idea out of nowhere and started writing, i could’ve definitely made it longer and more detailed but i was too excited 😭

“do you know who else will be gone in a sec?” LMAO 😭

Dustin really is traumatized, we’re gonna see him suffering in the next season I already know it 😭

IM SO SORRY FOR MAKING YOU CRY BESTIE 🥹 but but…. they’re back together now 🥹 isn’t it a happy ending? 🥹🥹

melanhoney 😂

horny anon for smut, honey anon for fluff and melanhoney for angst perfect 😌

Bestie thank you for the feedback as always and i’m so sorry for the angst🥹🫶🏻

[du-buk]

8:11 Questions+Answers Pt.2

Got behind again:,D Thank you all for the questions and support though! I hope these don’t disappoint!💙✨✨✨🦭

General Characters Asks;

I’m SOOOO behind on these asks, I apologize to you anons😭💙 But thank you so so much 2nd anon! I love rambly asks, so no worries💙 Thank you for supporting BOTH versions of the game, and liking it! I am honored and I hope you enjoy the sequel; and Gabriel’s next upcoming content then! Thanks again!

For anon 1; hahahaha, I love that! What a cool dream......... I would love to try making such a thing in real life...... but no idea how to structure jokes into four-panels......

But it would be really cool! Newpaper comics and the like were some of my biggest drawing inspirations as a young kid. It would be so nice to give it a go:)

I’ve thought about it, and, sadly no 💔 I’m incredibly busy, especially as of late due to family tragedy, and my health makes it hard to be online all the time.

I’m a mod for one discord server my friends made, and, I do a terrible job at being a mod. I’m never online and just don’t check in with servers, sorry! But I can always happily promote a fan one👍✨

Hmmm......

There’s a small linkage to this. To be honest there was an grand, but old concept for this; but I might drop it as it doesn’t really impact the story in a positive way (as I see it). Or maybe I’ll continue with this, and see what I can do with it in the future.....! Maybe I’ll surprise myself, hahaha. Let’s find out!

But in general it was used before to signify angels, or death’s presence. I don’t know if I like this as I didn’t really use it for every angel in chapter one. For fun, this is what the map looks like when Gabriel and Vittorino talk and the static occurs. The Basilica walls change, and some angels appear.

Hmmm..... oh boy. I think there were a few changes, so I will attempt to remember, but I believe I changed;

Gabriel’s co worker plot line: Meh. It’s a good excuse for him to get to the Basilica. But it’s not so heavily talked about anymore. She is most likely just dead, or missing, and Gabriel can now use Vittorino to help regain his memories. Gabriel’s past overall has done a lot of last minute changes; I think all for the best.

Gabriel’s age: I made him younger. Just to look more helpless and you feel sorry for the guy.

Vittorino and Gabriel dialogue; Vittorino is meant to be ambiguously-taken by the audience when he meets Gabriel. You can decide to trust him, or not.

Accardi and Vittorino’s dialogue in Act 3: I believe I changed some things when they talk about Dante. The old version, I believe, there were indications that Accardi knew who Dante was? He still does for the updated full game, but, now with V2 he claims he can’t remember specifically just Dante’s appearance/face. Lots of face imagery here hahaha

Lots of little details I believe; like what notes Ryker found and such.

The static noise. Also is the reason why in the demo; Leon told Ryker to ignore the static noises; and why it’s not in the full game now. I really just didn’t care for that concept, and wish to use something better.

In the future, if given the chance; I would like to re-make the town and the townspeople. In general just change NPC outfits, way of speech, beliefs, etc. to really give the town a stranger feeling and making the player feel so out of place.

Hmmm..... sometimes I throw an intentional curve ball. Sometimes I don’t give a yes or a no to not spoil the future fun.  And yet, I have also deleted some asks that said too much. I try to delete outdated asks but I’m also just..... not online much and forget to go through my archive, hahaha^^;

Off the top of my head; nothing was spoilered in my answers, but, a lot of people ask me about “how will X character react to Accardi being outed as a cannibal?”

Well.... I’ve already decided to change someone’s reaction. I think this will be fun to write dialogue for, when I’m at that scene, hehe.

To give an idea; 8:11 is has been fully written for years now. But, it’s been a struggle to create a game with my health, busy schedule, etc. as a one-man-team. So, sometimes bits and pieces of the story, or characters, change over time like I do. New things inspire me, challenge me, etc. and I like to implement it in my stories. So far, the ideas and sets I’ve made for 8:11′s sequel overall make me extremely proud, and I hope to show it sometime in the near future when completed. 💙👍💙🦭💙

Hmmmm...... only recently! As a challenge I wish to find voices in the same language characters grew up speaking (i.e, Ryker = French, Gabriel = Italian, etc.) My girlfriend actually pointed out a really nice headcanon voice someone had for Ryker, which is this video;

I’ve shared before that I think Leon sounds like this, but, other than these two, I have no ideas yet on voice claims.

Hmmm...... I don’t know much about instruments, so, I might leave it up for fans to think about, hahahah^^;

I like to think Juliek was forced by his parents to learn violin or something; but he didn’t care for it. So he doesn’t pressure Amalia to pick up instruments if she doesn’t want to. But he loves to hear Accardi play. Maybe Susan knows how to play as well? Maybe instrument-playing is reserved for more upper class people in this world, as it sounds with above hahahaha.

Hahahaha, weeeeell...... ummm.... [weapons/guns talk below warning]

Sorry for a disappointing answer anon, but, I just like arrows! They are often in my dreams, and fun to draw, so it’s common to just see in my artwork and stories hahahaha. I’ve had practice with shooting arrows and guns; and just like them. So I like to draw characters with weapons. Nothing much to it for 8:11′s story(symbolism wise); but maybe for future stories of mine.

Yep! But I cannot say who ;) But I find the secret couples cute

I’m glad you like them anon, thank you!!

After playing Pathologic, and re-watching Twin Peaks, I really wish I developed Dakota and Wankou more. Side characters can be so fun to talk to and interact with. I hope in the future to develop them more 💙💙💙

Yep! Go ahead anon, please help yourself to any of the ADULT characters! Have fun!

Ryker asks;

Are you referring to this?⬇️

Then yes! My dear best friend @jirachi​ made that for me, in support of the game! I actually have it up on my wall, next to my work station 💙😭 So everyone say thank you to her! And since time is played around with in the Basilica, like loose strings, I figured it fit best there:)

He would, if you’re Ryker. If not, but you can see him, he might be alarmed (”why are you able to see someone else’s guardian angel?” he’s thinking) but if you are friendly......he can hug you. He would be so warm, yet probably smell like soil.

They certainly smell bad. They were going to take a bath in act 3, but then found Beetle in the tub instead.

Hi anon! Well.....

It wasn’t my intention, but, if you see fit; then who am I to stop you? Ryker wasn’t written with anything like that, but in general if I write a character with something; I will state it in text. (Which is why there’s so much talk about depression and anxiety disorders hahah)

Leon asks;

Hello anons! He technically had someone he was very close with, but, NOT in a romantic sense. Just a friendly way.

I’ve never written a love interest for Leon, sadly. If you want him though, you can have him. Just be gentle....

He also has no canon last name, so, you can give him yours. 👍💙💙💙

Hahaha, surprised (but glad) to hear! I didn’t think Francis would gather any fans until chapter two. Here’s some fun facts;

He was a morning person until the incident

He enjoys □ □ □ 

□ □ □ □ □  □ □ □ □ □

Yes! Francis is just spoken with in a non-human form, so, it can be tricky to tell.

Accardi+Juliek asks;

He probably had to drag them around, got dizzy, and threw up on them. What’s a few more bruises to Ryker when they’re covered in them, hahahaha.

Hannibal, definitely. Your mom is very right👍 I love Mads Mikkelsen’s portrayal of him. Other than Hannibal, Accardi was inspired by other characters like Koito from Golden Kamuy and Westley from the Princess and the Bride.

Are you referring to his pixel sprites? It honestly might have been a mistake, as, pixel art hurts my eyes 😭 I think 8:11 will be the last game I make with pixel art, as, the little details are too difficult for me to keep up with. My bad!

Hello! Yes, I confirmed it over on Twitter a while back I believe. But don’t be fooled........it’s not a long history between them, and anything about them will just be implied. Juliek just likes to fuck.

Uh, no clue, sorry anon. He’s just always had that.

Remember when Accardi told Ryker he gave stitches to Vittorino once? When he bumped his head on a table? Maybe Accardi had to do something similar with Juliek after a crazy night with the boys..... who knows....

Vittorino+Gabriel+Dante asks; 

There’s no cure. We’re just going to have to put you down. Sorry.

He would chase you with an axe.

I don’t mind! I’ve never really thought about it myself.... but I don’t mind it, hahaha. Chapter two might be a wild ride though if you do ship them ;P

Dante enjoyed hunting as it relieved stress, and a way to escape from the madness at the Basilica for a moment. Though, he was never taught proper gun safety (no surprise).

🔞🔞🔞🔞Asks;

....Or in the past, possibly. I doubt Gabriel would want to do anything in a sewage area.

Hello! I am, thank you for asking! You’re free to draw whatever you want, I don’t care.

You might have to ask off anon. I don’t know exactly how to send these images, as, I don’t want to upload them on my archives 😭Just a heads up, I don’t think anything other than bare chests are shown so don’t get any hopes up👍I believe for the priest zine I only drew Leon and Vittorino.

LOOOL yeah okay, pretty funny. But we will have to see, hahha. I don’t really draw NSFW images but I can try my best.

Well.... in honor of Noda, the author behind Golden Kamuy ranking  sizes.....sure. I will do that too 👍✨

Wankou (the biggest)

Dakota

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[sandwichfordinner]

can I request Norton, Luca, Edgar, and Naib (if it's too much you can deduct anyone just not Norton pls :,) with an s/o who kind of hides her emotions with a joking mask and bottles up her emotions? Like say she fails a calibration when coding with them and she mentally scolds herself then just laughs it off as if shes not degrading herself mentally. So like one day in a match when y/n gets downed and it's her last chair, she just sorta let's her frustration out (i mean like kicking, punching, and pulling Antonio's hair.. #saveantonio2022) while she sobbing her eyes out. Like homegirl doesnt even realize that she broke free from the balloon kind of sobbing her eyes out 😭

sorry if this is too specific or doesnt make sense :( english isnt my first language so I heavily apologize

ଘ♡﹒ॱ˖ ﹆i am so sorry but I couldn’t make naib cause it was too much for me I’m sorry again , I am happy that someone requested for Edgar since no one writes for him atm.

ଘ♡﹒ॱ˖ ﹆ But please take a note everyone: I need to know if the characters are separated or not, and I need to know if it’s an one shot or scenarios . Please keep that in mind because if this happens again , I have to ignore the request. But if you saw your mistake you can ask again but this time of the characters are together or separated, oneshot or scenarios. Thank you for your attention!!

Tw for the Edgar part: reader having a breakdown Oh and also! I made 3 different y/n if that’s okay! AND! I wanted to draw you guys something too becuase i havent posted a fic in months plus i passed my exam!! (shoutout to the person in my inbox that said gl in school , ily and tysm)

Norton, Luca and Edgar with a FEM!! s/o that bottles up her emotions

Norton

You are decoding in arms factory. It isn’t that cold nor that hot outside. But it’s always foggy. You didn’t really liked it because there was a lot of dust and you sneeze sometimes out of the blue.

As you are trying to focus on the 3rd cipher, one popped meaning that there are 2 ciphers remaining. You were looking from time to time around you if the hunter is coming but no sign. You sighed nervously but as you got distracted you missed a calibration. When survivors miss a calibrations the machine shocks you , which you hiss in pain. It hurts your hands for 10 seconds but the pain doesn’t last forever. You got frustrated from the pain in your hands , holding them shaking.

,,I HATE YOU I HATE YOU STUPID MACHINE’’ you kicked the machine hard enough to send another shock to your leg. You fell backwards and started tearing up. ,,WHY MEE!!’’ You screamed.

Your heartbeat started to raise, meaning that the hunter is near.

You stopped moving as you realised what did you do. It was like the colour of your skin colour fell (like in the cartoons, by the way I don’t want to sound racist, please type down in the chat if it made you guys uncomfortable, I will immediately delete it). If you didn’t make a circus it wouldn’t have happened.

,,I am such a fool, I am such a fool…’’ you were muttering under your breath as you got up.

,,The hunter is near me!’’ You screamed while trying to kite The Violinist.

It’s been a minute since you kited Antonio. But you got hit when you dropped a pallet. One more hit an you’re down.

After 10 seconds you got downed again,

Cipher Machine Progress: 67% 1 cipher(s) left.

The cipher has reached the half of the decoding which is good.

Still trying to heal on the floor ,Antonio tied you in balloons. You started struggling aggressively, screaming, crying , trying to hit Antonio. You pulled his hair which he groaned in pain and dropped you on the floor.

A magnet was thrown in front of Antonio.

‘Oh for-’ Antonio said to himself before getting stunned at a object.

He got stunned for 3-4 seconds until started chasing you again, you were sobbing .

,,Cipher machine primed!!!’’

,,Holy moly Y/N are you okay. What was that from you..?? You aren’t like that!!’’ Norton asked body blocking you, then threw a magnet again at the hunter to keep some distance. He accidentally used the magnet that attaches you and he got hit.

He groaned in pain.

,,I’m sorry’’

You were with watery eyes , and embarrassed.

You started to hiccup while running.

You tripped and fell on your face.

,,Focus in decoding!!!’’ Screamed Norton on top of his lungs.

The alarm went on signalling that the gates can be opened. The sound of the alarms startled you, you quickly got up furiously and started running. Norton stopped bodyblocking you and went to the opposite way where the other gate was, muttering guilty ‘sorry..’ . He couldn’t help you because he was out of magnets.

Still running for your life you couldn’t even tell your teammates that Antonio had detention.

He hit you really hard on the head.

,,Owwww’’ you cried in pain.

Antonio tied you , and placed you on a rocket chair aggressively. You could’ve tell that he was really mad at you,

He used teleport and hit Norton right away, leaving Martha to run away.

She ran to the other side of the map and rescued you.

She grabbed your shaky hand and went to the gate.

,,Jesus Y/N what were those screams.’’

She asked.

Your cheeks went red from embarrassment.

,,I uhm.. I don’t know…’’ you couldn’t really speak, because of those screams you let out.

,,Uh huh.. whatever let’s get out of here , he’s coming’’

You both got out leaving you with a tie.

Antonio walked out silent. Oh he was mad.

Suddenly big and strong hands wrapped around you.

,,Y/N!! What happened love? You didn’t answer while I was body blocking you!’’

It was Norton.

You blushed.

,,I .. uhh. I can’t talk right now.. I feel like I have no voice..’’

You tried to talk but you whispered, soon you relaxed in his arms.

He stared you while he was hugging you and chuckled.

,,Okay you will explain to me later, alright?’’ You nodded.

He chuckled again and kissed you on the forehead.

Luca

Luca was humming while working on his new invention. He was focused , until the machine exploded in his face , leaving black dust on his face.. O shit the wall.. There was dust everywhere. Luca started coughing , got up quickly from his seat and opened the windows still coughing. From the manor you could see a black dust getting out of Lucas window. Naib went inside the room without knocking.

,,What happened???????’’ He shouted.

,,Calm down Naib, my machine exploded.’’

Naib sighed annoyed.

,,If it exploded, your face could’ve burned by now.’’

Luca shrugged.

,,I dunno , guess I am lucky this time’’

Naib glared at him.

,,Next time be careful’’ Then he slammed the door shut. One of the vases Luca had on the counter slipped from Naib closing the door aggressively and broke into pieces.

,,Oh come on…’’ Luca groaned in annoyance. He got up and started picking the pieces carefully. But he remembered that he was with gloves so he gathered them into a handful and threw them into the bin in the corner of his room. He then remembered about his little machine and took a look of it.

It was completely shattered and dusty.

He groaned. This was the 2nd time now happening.

As he got up again from his seat ,he felt his body weak . Everything went black for a few seconds until everything was back to normal. He felt his head in pain too.

Low iron.

,,Uhhh….’’ He groaned.

He got out of his room and headed downstairs.

,,I’m sorry..’’

Luca stopped walking and peeked to see what was happening.

,,I DONT CARE IF YOURE HURT, I AM SICK YOU DOING THIS OVER AND OVER WOODS , LEAVE ME ALONE.’’

,,Please Y/N calm down! I don’t want the whole manor to hear you yelling…’’

,,OH YOU WANT ME TO CALM DOWN?? YOU WONT STOP BLABBING THE SAME THING SINCE I GOT HERE’’

,,What is going on??’’ Ada came to break the drama.

,,None of your business Mesmer.’’ Then Y/N walked away sobbing.

,,Wow.’’ Luca muttered under his breath.

,,Oh you’re here to hear what’s going on too?’’ Mike appeared behind him, startling him.

,,Oh jeez Michael you scared me..’’ Luca called his name mockingly.

Mike rolled his eyes in annoyance.

,,Whatever.’’ He was about to leave until Luca asked him.

,,Uh Mike question. Why was Y/N so mad?’’

He blinked a few times processing the question in his head.

,,….Oh that uhh.. Honestly I don’t know, but I have heard rumours from Emily that Emma acts a bit uhm.. How do I say this… weird..?..’’

,,Huh but isn’t Emma one of the happiest and cheerful here?’’

,,Yeah yeah but , as much as I heard about her. She’s just a weird fella you know?’’

Luca stayed silent.

,,She kind of … has an obsession.’’

,,Oh’’ Luca muttered.

,,Yeah…. Well uhh see you around.’’

Then Mike left.

,,Obsession..?’’

Luca walked upstairs and went to his room.

,,If it’s really an obsession then I really feel bad for Y/N..’’ he looked around his room sadly , talking to himself.

Hours have passed and Luca got out of his room again with a tired gaze.

,,Wait why am I out..??…… Oh yeah!’’

He walked downstairs and went to the kitchen to grab some food. As he did that he went to the table and sat with the others to eat.

As he was eating he saw Y/N , looking at her plate blankly. She had bags under her eyes.

Luca felt guilty.

He ate quickly his meal , got up from his seat and went to the little kitchen the manor shared , to wash his plate.

After that he went to Y/N seat.

,,Meet me outside when you’re finished eating’’ Luca said grinning.

You gave him a confused look still trying to process what he said.

You ate one more bite quickly and went to the kitchen to wash your plate.

You got out to the manors yard. It was a little cold but it was still nice. There were few people outside which you didn’t mind.

From afar you could see Luca, and Emma…

Your eyes widened when you saw her and hid behind the grave keeper quickly. He flinched and looked back at you confused and nervous as always.

,,Erm miss Y/N..? What are you doing.?

,,Andrew please do me a favour. Can I stay behind you please?’’ She said nervously.

He looked at you confused but nodded and got back to digging some eaten flowers by bugs.

Luca saw you hiding behind Andrew , him giving him a weird look.

Luca got the message quickly when he saw Emma waiting.

He approached her.

,,Hello Emma, waiting for someone?’’

She looked at him and smiled nervously.

,,Yeah uhm.. I am waiting for someone..’’

,,Who?’’

,,…. Y/N…’’

‘Aha’

,,I think that she went up to her room , why are you waiting for her to appear?’’

,,I have to tell her something..’’ she was playing with her gloves.

,,Huh but I think that Emily wants to tell you something, she told me to meet her after dinner, why won’t you check on her?’’ Luca said smiling.

,,Emily?! My angel! Thank you Luca!’’ She ran off.

Luca sighed and looked at Andrew nodding his head to tell him that everything is okay.

Andrew looked back at you.

You were shaking.

,,Um…. Y/N..? I-I think that nothing bad is going to happen..’’

You were looking around the garden and sighed in relief that Woods wasn’t here.

Then you looked at Luca waiting for you.

,,Thank you Andrew so much, and I am sorry for the discomfort I caused you.’’

You spoke embarrassed.

Andrew muttered a ‘no problem’ and got back to work.

You walked when Luca was and greeted him.

,,Hey Luca , you wanted to meet here , correct?’’

He nodded shyly.

,,Yeah..’’

,,Is there something we need to talk..?’’ You asked him tiredly.

,,I umm,. Uh… Please don’t get mad at me I heard you arguing with Emma and-‘’

,,You did????’’ Your eyes widened and your cheeks started to heat up from embarrassment.

,,Yeah but don’t worry about that.. I umm.. I know that this sounds stupid but I felt bad for you and I wanted the two of us to talk what’s bothering you.. Do you bottle up your emotions? Cause I see you mostly calm and today I was shocked’’ He chuckled awkwardly

,,…. I.. don’t really know..’’ you said quietly.

‘I messed that up didn’t i.’ He thought.

,,It’s just that Emma makes me uncomfortable.. She says weird stuff , like how we will be together forever , that she won’t leave my sight.. i thought it was normal and supportive, but this continued for 2 years and I am sick of her saying the same things over and over again.. it’s … weird. You just have to do something about it.. you can’t just keep your mouth shut..’’

Luca nodded , listening to you very carefully.

,,I am so sorry for today..’’ you chuckled tiredly.

Luca hugged you.

You flinched at his touch but relaxed, it was like you were protected.. You felt.. safe..

,,Don’t worry, from now on i will make sure Emma isn’t bothering you, alright?’’ He said softly, and smiled.

You nodded and smiled back.

Your body relaxed in his arms.

,,Thank you Luca’’ you blushed.

Edgar

You were walking fast to your room , but accidentally bumped into someone.

,,I am so sorry!!.. Oh Edgar my apologies!’’ You said nervously.

He scoffed at you.

,,Watch where are you going.’’

Then he left, walking downstairs.

He didn’t even offer you a hand? How rude of him! You got up quickly, and dust yourself off , heading to your room. It was next to ‘The Coordinator’ and ‘The Postman’. You searched for your key in your pockets and found it. You unlocked your door and went inside, then closed the door and locked it.

Y/N laid on her bed tiredly from all those matches , and from all the people she had to listen to, observing , saying bad stuff, but you have to say things back, right? You can’t really. They just tell you bad things in front of you , they don’t even care what are they saying! You can’t fight back. But you have to. It sounds easy, but you just freeze and let the words hit you like a train (LMAO WHAT😭). It’s tiring.

,,Let’s just sleep for now, I will see what’s gonna happen next..’’ you said to yourself tiredly. Then your eyes closed, the warm and not so soft bed relaxing your body.

zzz..

zzz..

zzz..

zzzz..

Suddenly a soft knock was heard from outside her door.

,,Umm Y/N..?’’ Whose voice was that?

You opened your eyes slightly and groaned.

The person outside heard her groan and started speaking nervously.

,,I umm.. Im sorry for disturbing you Y/N… But uhh.. It’s your turn to wash the dining’s tablecloth.. It sounds silly but today is Sunday remember..?’’

Oh yeah Sunday… The day where everyone has to keep the manor clean - washing , sweeping the leaves in the garden’s floor, washing the dishes.. It’s annoying.

Y/N recognised that voice.

She got up from her bed quickly and unlocked the door revealing Annie with a nervous smile on her face. She knew it was annoying.

,,Thank you Annie.’’ You said.

,,Hey, since I have already washed the carpet in the kitchen and it’s drying outside , can I help you with washing the tablecloth?’’ She offered kindly. She was such a sweet person.

,,Why not.’’ You answered and smiled.

Her nervous smile turned to a happy and calm one. She grabbed your hand , which you flinched from her sudden touch.

,,Come on! Let’s go!’’ She said happily and started to walk fast with you like a 7 year old who just saw an ice cream truck.

You giggled and followed her from behind.

————————————

Annie sighed tiredly.

,,Who! I feel tired..’’ she said with a grin.

You chuckled. ,,Of course you feel tired silly, you washed the kitchen’s carpet which is really big and now the tablecloth.’’ You smiled and she giggled.

,,Well let’s put the tablecloth outside! You hold the other side and I will hold this side.. but we need one more person..’’

Edgar appeared from one of the rooms. ,,Need help?’’

,,Oh Edgar! It’s nice seeing you! And yes, please. Me and Y/N were just talking how we needed a third person!’’ She giggled.

Edgar turned his head towards you, with a blank face which you blushed a little and avoided eye contact.

He smiled a little and turned back to Annie.

,,Of course, what am I supposed to do?’’ He asked.

,,Just hold this side and me and Y/N will hold the other two.’’

,,Alright’’ the three of you were going outside with the big tablecloth - Edgar holds the middle part of the table cloth , and you and Annie the other two.

The three of you place it outside to dry with the other.

You feel tired again.

,,Thanks Annie and Edgar.. I will go now..’’ you yawned and waved at them. You didn’t look back because you were tired. AGAIN. Seriously?

You laid again on your bed tiredly and closed your eyes.

It was like your bed was the only comfort place where you can escape the problems.

Safe place..

You cant sleep.. its hard but you just close your eyes..

MAP: Arms Factory

4 Cipher(s) left

,,My head hurts..’’ you said to yourself while decoding.

You aren’t paying attention to perfumer being chaired near you.

You didn’t know.

You were done with the cipher and she flew back to the manor.

,,Huh? Why no one rescued her..?’’

You were too tired to think.

2 Cipher(s) left

,,Y/N you idiot!’’ Suddenly you heard Edgar from behind you. He was mad.

,,Why didn’t you rescue Perfumer?? She was near you wasn’t she!!’’ He was talking too loud..

,,Shut up please..’’

,,Oh you want me to shut up?? This isn’t a kids game Y/N , we have to have each others back. And what were you doing? I bet you didn’t do ANYTHIIING!!!’’

,,JUST SHUT UP VALDEN’’

His eyes widened and furrowed his brows.

,,How dare you speak to me like that???!’’

,,SHUT UP HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY THIS EDGAR, HOW MANY??? I AM SICK OF EVERYONE HERE , I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I WISHED I DIDNT HAVE FATIGUE SYNDROME!! ITS ALWAYS ME RIGHT?? IF I DIDNT HAVE IT MAYBE YOU GUYS WOULD BE PROUD OF ME, BUT NOO!! I AM TIRED EDGAR YOURE LIKE THE OTHERS’’ You were breaking down.

He stared at you shocked and speechless.

,,Leave me alone..’’ you sobbed.

Wasn’t he supposed to not care?

Deep inside him felt guilt.

,,I… Didn’t know you had fatigue syndrome.. I’m sorry’’ he sat in front of you and gave you a tight hug.

,,You are tired. I am so sorry.’’ He muttered.

,,I’m sorry…’’ he said again.

You couldn’t say anything. It was too much. Everything was too much.

You cried in his arms.

,,You can rest.. I am here.’’ He said softly.

,,The match?-‘’

,,I said rest.’’ He scooped you closer protectively.

for those of you who dont know what fatigue syndrome is , its when a person has difficulty thinking, problems sleeping, sore throat, headaches, feeling dizzy, or severe tiredness.

Please keep that in mind i am not mocking it in my fic.

Thank you for requesting and reading! See you in the next fic.

[recurring-polynya]

Writing/Art Update 5/21/2022

I forgot to do this yesterday!!

WELL, I wrote 3049 words worth of Renji and Ichigo eating pie in a diner with Byakuya’s dad. I alluded to it in the tags, but got really excited about this one, wrote a bunch, realized I had a bunch of continuity errors, and it took me most of a week to massage it back into something workable. I am happy enough with the end result, but that was more stress than I wanted to put myself under for this writing challenge, and I think I’m pretty relieved that it’s nearly run its course. I have one in mind for this coming week, and then one last one that is sort of a What If? challenge and also sort of not, you’ll just have to wait and see on that on.

I also wrote 1437 words on the Tattoo Artist AU. (15,848)

My brain is started to shift gears back into a little in love mode. I had a pretty clear vision for the last two acts of the story back when I originally outlined the whole thing, but now that I’m there, I’m not 100% happy with it, so I’ve been trying to brainstorm different ways it could go. I mean, I still have my original conception to fall back on if I can’t come up with something better, but I just feel like it doesn’t necessarily flow logically from how the characters have been developing up to this point. (Also it involves Rukia and Renji having a fight and I don’t wanna 😭😭😭) Anyway, I’m kinda hype for finishing this thing! I’m not sure, but it has a legit shot at surpassing Call Me Back as the longest thing I’ve ever written.

The summer that I started writing alil, I read a bunch of Jane Austen novels. I’ve mentioned that I have been struggling to read lately, and I’ll say that my project of re-reading the Battle Angel manga has not been entirely a success. I’m on the last volume of the first series now, but it’s taken me absolutely forever. My library does a summer reading program, though, for adults as well as children. The surest way to get me to do anything is to require me to log it, so I am hopeful that I am going to Read a Book or Two this summer. Reading and writing are sort of independent activities for me, but I feel like reading is important to keep my writing brain going in the long-run, and I really need to get back into it.

Art-wise, I am very close to a workable “done” on my zine piece. I plan to go back and improve a number of the background elements, but the mental freedom of “I could turn this in if I had to” will be very freeing. I took a tiny break on that to make something for Renruki Kiss Day. It’s going...okay. It’s not my favorite thing I’ve ever drawn, but I do feel pretty confident I’ll get it done on time. It’s been really irritating because I feel like I’ve forgotten how to draw lately. Sometimes I feel like I could just go back and start learning to draw again from scratch, not that I have any idea what that looks like. I just get mad because I have no discernable style and I’m super-dependent on references. Bleh. I miss doing Soul Society Artist AU comix and I’m looking forward to doing them again, even if it means I have to do a “powering up” panel that I’ve been dreading.

[whumpmatsus]

Howdy fam-fam! Still recovering from that Iromatsu whump you massacred me with (lol it was consensual though so I don't blame you 😂😭) but I'd still like to make another request, please! I'd like to throw a mega combo of 10A + 20 for, you guessed it, TODOMA-Ichi, for Ichimatsu please 😂👌

Ngl I thought I'd get annoying real fast with all the Ichi whump requests, but then you showed what you had in your inbox for WIPs and I felt a little better, because everyone loves to request different things so often! What can I say, I can't deny the Ichimatsu whump whore in me (I'm awful😂😭) lol thanks for reading my ramblings and thanks for the feels! Love you fam! 💞

Ultimate Whump Writing Meme! / ACCEPTING!

10. Mood disorders

A. Major depression/clinical depression

+

20. Starvation

GIRL PLEASE 😂😂😂

also ur right you don’t blame me for that shit because u literally asked for it fam XD

you are NEVER EVER annoying me with Ichi whump!! the only thing I love more than Ichimatsu is torturing Ichimatsu, you know I’m right there with you being an Ichi whump whore

ANYWAYS what’s interesting is that depression can actually be a potential cause of starvation, i.e. when a person with depression experiences those symptoms that make basic hygiene and functioning and taking care of themselves difficult, so... this wasn’t too big a leap to figure how best to put these two things together! uwu

I had a good time writing it, the first half or so is Allmatsu with some Nenchuu and Parka sprinkled in, then the last half is mostly Iromatsu because I’m fucking WEAK 😂

enjooooooy fam-fam!

-

When it comes right down to it, it’s not as if Ichimatsu means to miss meals.

One would think that because he and his brothers eat at home most of the time, it would be harder to do that without drawing attention. They all have breakfast, lunch, and dinner around the same table, at the same time. At least one of them always notices when one isn’t eating.

They do, too. Osomatsu especially takes note of it and tries to prod if someone isn’t eating like usual; as the oldest, he asks a barrage of questions. “How come you’re not eating? Is your stomach upset? Do you feel sick?” As much as he pretends to be a complete shithead, he loves his brothers. He doesn’t let anything slip by.

That said, he takes it easier on Ichimatsu. He accepts, “Depression’s a bitch and I’m not hungry” as an answer readily from Ichimatsu. After all, what’s he going to do, jump across the table and force breakfast down his little brother’s throat? As long as Ichimatsu takes a bite or two at meals, more than just nothing, he’s satisfied.

Most of the time, these spells of not wanting to eat because of his depression only last a day or two. After that point, he gets too hungry and he literally has to force food into his mouth, or have someone do it for him. Once he eats, he even feels a little better overall. The whole process is stupid and he really wishes his brain wouldn’t be like this. It’s just lucky that the lack of appetite never lasts too long.

However, at the moment he’s struggling to remember eating more than a few bites in the last couple of weeks.

It’s not that he isn’t hungry. On the contrary, his stomach growls at every meal and he sort of wants to eat. The problem is the depression whispering in his ear worse than normal, partly telling him he doesn’t deserve the food and partly telling him nothing would taste good and partly telling him he just doesn’t have the energy to eat.

That’s strange and stupid, to think he’s too exhausted to lift a piece of food in his chopsticks, put it in his mouth, chew it, and swallow it. It just sounds like a lot of work, particularly because it wouldn’t just be one time. He’d have to do it over and over until he’d eaten a full meal. What would it be? Ten times of lifting the food, putting it in his mouth, chewing it, and swallowing it? Twenty? How much is he supposed to eat?

He’s definitely not going to ask one of his brothers to feed him regularly. That’s fucking humiliating, even though he knows any of them would do it in a heartbeat if they knew his depression was affecting his ability to eat.

It is, but he doesn’t want them worrying. If it were just a handful of days, he would ask one of them to help him shove some food down his throat. It’s been several weeks, though. Part of him wonders why no one has caught on, because it’s never happened quite like this before. Osomatsu at least has to be noticing that Ichimatsu only takes a couple bites at each meal, right?

Then his stupid unbalanced brain kicks him right down again. With wonderful thoughts such as, Of course he doesn’t notice, dumbass. You think he really cares that you’re not eating enough? and Maybe he notices, but he’s stopped giving a shit. They all want you dead anyway.

It’s all he can do to shut that crap up, and it doesn’t work very well. He still can’t bring himself to take more than three bites at a time. After that, he’s too drained to keep going even though he’s hungry.

It would be a miracle if he’s eaten an actual full meal in the last two weeks or so. The worst part is that he has fucking hunger pangs, painful and almost like he’s being stabbed in the stomach, and even that isn’t motivation enough for his depression to step aside and let him eat.

Because he’s still trying to eat a little, because he hasn’t gone to eating nothing at all, his brothers apparently haven’t raised the alarm. He thinks if they knew how bad this was, they’d all be stuffing food into his mouth at every opportunity.

Staring down at the table full of food right now during today’s lunch is borderline torture. He’s taken two bites, just like he did at breakfast, and he’s fighting to keep his eyes open. Everything smells so good, his mouth is watering, and yet it feels like there’s a lead weight tied to his arm. Raising it to take another bite is impossible.

The sound of his brothers chewing their own food, enjoying the meal, making semi-pleasant conversation, is unbearable. His head is foggy from lack of food… everything is annoying… his heart feels like it’s soft-shoeing against his ribs… his breathing is kind of funny, too, isn’t it?

Dammit. All he can think about is how great everything tastes, like it always does, how much he wants to eat more than a couple bites and how little energy he has because he hasn’t been eating enough. To his mind, a tall glass of ice water and going back to sleep sounds like a good replacement, though.

He lifts his cup of tea to his lips, sipping at it as fast as he can without hurting his stomach. Uh… is… is my hand shaking…? Fuck… I’m so tired…

“Hey, Ichimatsu,” a voice breaks him out of his thoughts. It’s easy enough to identify, so he doesn’t have to look up, although he does anyway. Choromatsu’s gaze is more than a little concerned. “Aren’t you going to eat the rest of your lunch? You only took, like, two bites and we’re all almost done.”

Osomatsu reaches over to nudge the fourth eldest. “Yeah, you haven’t been eating a lot lately. What’s going on, dude?? You not feeling good?”

“It’s ‘well’, Osomatsu. Not feeling ‘well’.”

“Ah, shut the fuck up, Fappy.” Osomatsu pops in the last bite of his own food, speaking around it. “So, what’s up, Ichimacchan? Does your stomach hurt?”

He can’t… he can’t do this. He doesn’t want to admit how bad it’s gotten. Not only does it make him feel like a failure as an adult, that he can’t even manage to fucking feed himself, he also doesn’t want his brothers to worry. They worry enough about him already even though they shouldn’t.

He swallows another mouthful of tea before trying to answer. “No… it’s just… the depression again. Don’t feel like doing anything, you know?”

“Oh.” Osomatsu takes advantage of the general mood to sneak a sausage off Choromatsu’s plate and into his mouth. “Well, you want one of us to shove something down you? You gotta eat, bro!”

“… Hey! Osomatsu!” A glare is sent the eldest’s way as Choromatsu processes that part of his meal was just stolen. “That was mine, you thief!”

“Hey, yourself, Choromacchan. You know the rule, I’m the big dog, so anything you’re not actively chewing could be mine. Mmf… put that huge, veiny brain of yours to good use and figure out what we’re gonna do about Ichimatsu.”

“You don’t need to do anything about me,” Ichimatsu huffs. God, they’re all so fucking loud and obnoxious. He’s got walking headaches for brothers. “I’m fine. It’ll probably be better by tomorrow.”

Except, he doesn’t know that. If it hasn’t gotten better by now, why would it suddenly be any better by tomorrow?

Jyushimatsu is long done with his own food and on his third cup of tea, poking at Ichimatsu’s shoulder. “Aaaah, Ichimatsu-nii-san, maybe you could come play baseball with me! That might get your energy back up! Wake up your whole body!”

Oh, for the love of all that is crap, no. That’s the worst idea Ichimatsu has ever heard. If he can’t manage to get himself fed, how the hell would he play baseball right now in any way? He thinks he’d puke stomach acid if he let himself be waved around on the bat, and trying to be active would just result in passing out.

“Probably not today, Jyushi,” he sighs. He feels a little guilty saying that; normally he loves spending time with his little brother. It’s just hard when he can’t imagine himself walking more than a couple steps today. He’s not even sure he can drag himself up the stairs to the spare room. “I think I’m gonna take a nap.”

With that, he pushes himself away from the table. Why even keep up the charade? Most of the others are nearly done with their meal, he’s told them what the problem is, and he doesn’t need to be sitting here trying to choke down the rest of his tea and violently trying to ignore every single stupid thing they say.

“I’m gonna head upstairs and try to sleep this shit off,” he mumbles, just so everyone else knows the general plan. Not only does his depression screw with his ability to eat properly, they all know it fucks with his sleeping too. “Wake me for dinner, I guess.”

He hears Choromatsu hum as he gets to his feet. “Okay, well, try to get some rest. If you won’t bite our heads off, we can come up with some snacks later and maybe get some food in you.”

Ichimatsu raises his hand and turns toward the doorway. “Yeah, I’ll try not to. Just… uh… uh, just… um…”

Oh, fuck.

Everything happens in quick succession, so fast he can’t stop it even if he tried. As soon as he turns, a wave of dizziness crashes over him. His head spins like a top, and he feels as if he’s floating outside his body. A sharp, gnawing pain shoots through his body from his stomach, too empty, a black hole collapsing in on itself.

He goes down like a bag of rocks. It’s just lucky the floor is soft.

The last thing he hears is Choromatsu shouting, “Oh, my God! MOM! Ichimatsu just passed out!!”, then he slips into darkness.

-

When Ichimatsu wakes up, the lights are too bright. He can see them through his eyelids. Things are too noisy; there’s beeping and people walking by and people talking and…

… A lullaby being hummed in a low deep voice?

He’s still tired, but he feels a little better than he remembers feeling a few hours ago. Everything is kind of achy, his heart is less fluttery, and the hunger pangs aren’t quite as bad as they were. He barely recalls anything after getting up to leave the table at lunch, a little bit about feeling lightheaded and then hearing one of his brothers yell.

How did he get here? Where is ‘here’? This definitely isn’t home. The beeping isn’t anything he recognizes, and the scent of antiseptic is, like, burning his sinuses.

He lets out a soft groan and tries to turn onto his side, only to find there’s something stuck in his arm. A glance down reveals that it’s… an IV line? Shit. There’s a needle in his arm, connected to a tube, connected to a bag, of who fucking knows what.

The activity catches the attention of whoever’s with him, and when he feels a hand full of calluses gently holding his arm as if to keep him down, he knows instantly that his only companion in the room is Karamatsu. “Careful now, brother. You can’t move too much or you’ll pull that out, and you need it right now.”

“Mmmh… Kara…?” Ichimatsu tries to relax, having one of his brothers so close now. Even though it’s Karamatsu, this is still his big brother. It’s infinitely better than waking up alone in a weird place after feeling like crap. “Where am I?”

Karamatsu’s hand moves down so that Ichimatsu can take it. “The hospital. Everyone else stepped out for just a moment to get something to eat.” He thinks he hears a frown in his brother’s voice. “Coincidentally, eating seems to be your problem, too.”

He does his best to scoff. It comes out weak and has none of his usual bite to it, which is aggravating. “Yeah, well. I’m fucking starving.”

When Karamatsu speaks again, his voice sounds close to breaking. “Yes, you literally are.”

… Oh. Well. Shit. That is… not promising.

“Uhhhh.” Although Ichimatsu isn’t stupid, he’s having trouble fully putting the pieces together. “What… what happened? All I remember is getting up from the table, then the world went black.”

“Hmph. You fainted. The doctor said it’s because you’re undernourished. They’ve got you on intravenous nutrition right now to try and… get everything back in order before they make you start eating real food again.” Karamatsu snorts, though there’s absolutely no derision or amusement in it. “All the nurses are calling your room ‘Starvation Central’.”

Okay. Welp. None of that is good at all. For medical professionals to actually use the term starvation in reference to him, it must be an accurate description. Was he really eating that little that he basically starved himself??

He… supposes there’s really no denying that’s what happened. In the last two weeks, he’s likely only eaten like ten bites of food a day, if that. No full meals. Not even half a meal or a third of a meal like Choromatsu sometimes does.

The thought strikes him that he might only be not more seriously ill because he’s been drinking enough water. That’s a scary thought; that he literally could have starved himself to death. Even though he gets those suicidal feelings sometimes, this time it wasn’t intentional, and… he doesn’t want to die. Not really.

He doesn’t know what to say, though. Karamatsu is obviously worried about him, he’s sure all of his other brothers are as well, and he’d be surprised if his parents aren’t panicking knowing one of their children has been eating so little he starved himself.

So he keeps his head down. Thinking about this, if he tries to say anything, he thinks he might start crying. He hates crying in front of his brothers, and especially in front of Karamatsu.

“Ichimatsu…” As usual, Karamatsu seems content to do most of the talking. His hand lightly squeezes Ichimatsu’s. “We noticed you weren’t eating much at meals… we thought maybe you were having snacks in between. We didn’t know you were barely eating at all. The doctor said you’ve lost almost 8 kg. in the last two weeks.”

Ichimatsu can’t stop himself: “Holy shit.” That’s a lot. That’s a lot of weight to lose in only a couple weeks. Even if he’s not technically underweight right now, he knows it’s not healthy to have lost that much so fast.

Karamatsu’s voice is soft and nonjudgmental, but that might be why it cuts through Ichimatsu so deeply. “What’s going on, my brother? You need to talk to us. The doctor thinks you’ve got an eating disorder.”

“Wh…” If there was any anger swirling around inside him, it’s solidified into something icy. “That’s bullshit! You know that’s a load of crap, right? You don’t really believe that, do you?”

“I don’t know what to believe. Look where you are, Ichimatsu.” Karamatsu squeezes his hand again, and Ichimatsu could just fucking kill himself when he sees that there are tears in his brother’s eyes. “You’re in the hospital. You haven’t been eating. When I went to get coffee earlier, I heard the nurses talking, and one of them called you ‘an anorexic whose family is in denial’ and… and I got angry that they would talk about you like that… but then I thought… ‘what if she’s right?’ None of us want to think that, but…”

What a bunch of shit. He misses some meals and now he’s got nurses gossiping about his mental health? “Did any of the stupid-ass doctors or nurses look at my chart? Don’t they know I’m depressed? They’re fucking idiots if they don’t know that messes with how somebody eats.”

Karamatsu lets his hand slip from Ichimatsu’s, and he takes a deep breath. “… Please. Just tell me the truth, brother. Have you not been eating on purpose?”

“No, you dumbass! I didn’t… I didn’t mean to not eat!” And he’s pissed again. The anger is still cold inside him, trying to break free out of the prison that depression has his emotions in. “I… I didn’t mean to…” He bites down on his lip and suddenly wishes Karamatsu hadn’t let go of his hand.

Almost as if Karamatsu can read his mind, he leans forward to start rubbing Ichimatsu’s back. It’s even better than holding hands. “Then tell me what’s going on in your mind. If we know, then maybe we can help. Even if we can’t, we can still support you. Is it the depression? Have you been feeling terrible and numb and tired for weeks?”

Ichimatsu nods. If he could just slump over into Karamatsu’s embrace, he probably would right now. “Y… yeah. It’s just gotten bad… I kept thinking it was gonna get better tomorrow, gonna get better tomorrow, and it… it never did. I’m not usually so bad I can’t eat… but… the last couple weeks, I’ve just been… so exhausted. I know I’ve skipped the bathhouse a couple times… and I’ve been sleeping a lot…”

He shakes his head with a sigh. “I didn’t want you guys to have to force me to eat at every single meal for weeks, so I just… I didn’t say anything. Fuck… and you all… you would have, huh? You care so much about trash like me, and I can’t even just fucking let you…”

“You are not trash.” Karamatsu’s voice is firm now, with absolutely no room for argument despite the fact that Ichimatsu feels like it’s a lie. He gets up from his chair and Ichimatsu is enveloped in a warm hug within seconds. Even though he can’t hug back, because of his IV and because he just doesn’t have the energy to move much, he can at least press himself into it, let himself be held. “You’re our brother who we love very much.”

It feels like they stay this way for a while. In reality, it might only be a few minutes. If nothing else, Ichimatsu feels safe inside one of his older brothers’ hugs. They can protect him from even himself, embracing him like this and shutting out everything else.

Finally, Karamatsu speaks up again. “If your depression has gotten this bad that you can’t bring yourself to eat… Ichimatsu… you can’t ignore it anymore. You cannot just keep ‘working around it’ if it’s to the point that you can’t take care of yourself or even ask us to help take care of you. Things have progressed too far, my dear brother… your mind is very ill.”

He rests his head on top of Ichimatsu’s, letting his little brother bury his face in his chest. As far as Ichimatsu is concerned, even though this feels like he’s breaking down, that he’s already been broken for so long, it’s still comforting. Someone is trying to take care of him. “The doctor says you have to stay and have your treatment… it could take up to two weeks. And after that, they want to set up an appointment with a psychiatrist for you. So that maybe someone who knows what they’re doing can help you get better.”

Ichimatsu hates the idea. It’s not the worst idea ever, but he hates it. Why can’t he just go home? Everyone who loves him is at home. They can take care of him. They can help him get better, can’t they?

“I just wanna go home,” he mumbles, hiding himself against Karamatsu. “Can’t I just go home now and start eating again and then I… I promise I’ll tell you guys if it gets this bad again…”

Karamatsu shakes his head. His hand strokes gingerly between Ichimatsu’s shoulder blades. “You can’t start eating at home, not yet. You have to be on the IV for the rest of today, then they have to monitor you carefully when you start liquid food, then solids. If they don’t keep an eye on you here, you could get very sick. And we all think you truly should go for the psychiatrist’s appointment… none of us are doctors, Ichimatsu.”

He feels a soft kiss brushed over his head. “We love you very much, and we’ll support you in every way we can… but… you’re ill, just in your mind instead of your body. So you need a doctor for your mind to make you better. Just like we wouldn’t know how to treat pneumonia, we also don’t know how to treat depression. Will you please… please make that appointment after you recover here?”

When he gives Ichimatsu a squeeze, it almost feels… desperate.

“… We want you to be healthy, Ichimatsu. You deserve to be. You can’t keep going on like this, in pain forever. We don’t want you to be hurting for your whole life, and you… you deserve so much better than that.”

Ichimatsu feels his heart sink into his stomach as it hits him just how bad things have gotten. He let himself starve because he was so weighed down by depression that he just couldn’t feed himself. He sleeps so much that he misses a lot of things going on around him. There’s a constant ache in his chest and thoughts in his brain telling him he shouldn’t be alive and there’s nothing good about him and he’s unlovable and so many other things.

Maybe Karamatsu’s right. Maybe things have gone too far and he can’t just brush everything aside anymore.

For once, his mind actually gives him a push in the right direction.

You’re not really happy, are you?

You’re not really living.

You’re just alive.

“I’m scared,” he grunts, and somehow, somehow, he manages to lift his arm just enough to rest against his brother’s hip. As if he’s looking for a handhold, some thin lifeline he can cling to so he can pull himself up out of the darkness he’s been drowning in. “I… I don’t wanna… will you… God. It’s been so hard to feel anything for weeks… now that I can sort of feel… it’s so stupid that the first thing I’m feeling is scared. Kara, if I… make that appointment… will you… maybe… come with me?”

Karamatsu hums, thoughtfully, a vibration Ichimatsu can feel through his whole body. The promise of his brothers being so close and trying so hard to help him sort of wakes up his emotions. There’s fear, being afraid to do something new and different… but… there’s also relief. He’s not just holding all this crap inside anymore. Somebody else knows, and it’s his big brother, and he’s trying so hard to help. “Of course. I’m sure the others would be happy to do so as well.”

All at once, he can feel himself relaxing. That’s it. He guesses that’s what he needed to hear, because the anxiety is starting to ebb away, he doesn’t feel as cold inside anymore, he feels okay to be sharing all this horrible shit.

“Th… thanks. I think… I think I can do it, then. Or at least I’ll try.” He shifts a little bit, so he can nuzzle up against Karamatsu’s collarbone. Fuck. He’s gonna stay here forever, or at least until he falls asleep, feeling so much safer with one of his brothers than he ever does on his own.

There’s a long road ahead if he chooses to have a bunch of appointments with whatever psychiatrist the hospital recommends, or with anyone. There are gonna be so many steps, uphill and downhill, and maybe medicine, and everything is going to suck until he starts to feel better. He can’t imagine right now taking a hundred steps toward feeling better; he can hardly imagine taking one.

But for some reason, the thought of taking a hundred steps seems easier if he’s got his brothers next to him while he takes them.

“… Hey,” he mutters, “did you say they’re gonna start me on real food tomorrow?”

“Hm? Oh. Yes, I believe they said they want to start you on liquids tomorrow, for two or three days, before trying to feed you anything solid.”

“Man… the answer’s probably gonna be no, but, are you sure you can’t sneak me a burger from the cafeteria or something?”

Of course, the answer is no. But Karamatsu is holding back laughter as he says it, and after a second, Ichimatsu starts laughing too. “You know I cannot do that, dear brother!”

“Yeahhhh.” He closes his eyes. “I’m just really fucking hungry, you know?”

[zimanddibdiary]

I hope to see this continued one day! I miss you!

Honestly!🥺🤍 ME TOO!!

Hello Friends~!! I can’t believe it’s been like 2 years??! Wow 😳 I just went over this blog (start to finish my dudes) and maaaaaaaan do I miss it dearly!😭 I’m doing well by the way! Well, I’ve been having a long ass art block since the summer and it suuuuuucks!!! I’ve been really depressed about it...😔 Maybe coming back here was a way to find new inspiration and see if I can get back into drawing cartoons again?? Idk yet, this artblock is something nasty and I’m struggling to get out of it big time!

It’d be amazing to reboot this blog tho, I kind of have doubts but I might try still. I was so stumped when figuring out the story for this event but maybe, I can tackle it again with a refreshed mind! Despite my art block that is lol Thank you for the asks while I was away! (;w;💕

It seems like the IZ fandom is still p active? I’m not like 100% back into IZ, like at all ahah but I wanna try and revive this bc I really liked the idea/story! I always like Zim and Dib, don’t get me wrong~ And I still have a soft spot for my Noah and Don OCs~!!🥺 And Ofc I miss you all! So imma try! (No promises unfortunately...) if there’s enough response, I may be more motivated hehe

How are all of you~?? Let me know in the askbox, I’ll be sure to get back to ya asap~!! Thanks for the love guys!! I really hope I can reboot this baby!

[fancycaroline]

Keenlerweek 2020

Day 7 - Free

NB- Apologies for the late submission. I was trying to work around other commitments at home and this writing bug is kind of a new thing and there was too much text so technical difficulties.... blah, blah, blah..

Anyways, A HUGE Thankyou! to @alyblacklist and @aussieokie for moderating Keenler Week 2020! You made this crazy year much better and I’m going to miss the daily Keenler content in my feed 😭

This is a fluffy Keenler Oneshot set in the near-ish future and inspired by Rihanna’s song by the same name:

Under my Umbrella

Ressler burst out the front doors of the posh hotel onto a chaulk-drawing cityscape, the first droplets of an impending downpour threatening.

Damn! Which way did she go? He whipped his head up and down the street, wrenching loose the bowtie of his tux. The stifling heat of the last couple of sweltering days had culminated into a riot of black clouds outlined eerily by DC’s city lights. Ressler spotted her going South on the bustling city street and bolted after her, commandeering an umbrella from a door attendant, who was left teetering after Ressler almost bowled him over in pursuit of Liz.

In the evening haze he could just make out her retreating form, a blur of billowy satin in her wake. Ressler swore under his breath and vowed to tear a strip off Reddington next time he saw him. Even the mild-mannered Dembe had levelled a stern look towards Red, punctuated by a shocked “Reh-mund!” that he’d uttered in his distinctive South Sudanese accent. Reddington’s response had been typically cavalier,  “What?!”, he’d drawled, “It’s plain as day to everyone that Elizabeth was played, and STILL, she chose to squander her affections, depleting them like bubbles in tepid bath water.” 

Liz had been stricken by Red’s harsh words and Ressler felt a knife twist in his gut at her pained expression. He was no fan of Tom, but Liz had loved him for better, (and, in his considered opinion, definitely for worse), and the manner in which the man had died, Ressler would not have wished on his worst enemy.

Ressler could feel the heat rising in his face as Liz struggled to keep her composure, but, within seconds, she had turned on her heel mumbling her excuses. Ressler, next to Liz, had quietly leaned in, saying,  “Liz...”, but with barely a flutter of her dewey lashes in his direction, she was absorbed into the crowd around them. Ressler flung a steely “Red!...” in the blasé master criminal’s direction and the last thing he had heard as he turned to catch up with Liz, was the beginnings of what was surely to be a stern talking-to by Cooper, a stuttering but accurate assessment of the situation by Aram and, from Park, came an irate, “What just happened?”

“Liz!”, Ressler called after her once he got clear of the throngs of people coming and going from the Cherry Blossom Festival Charity Ball where the now disbanded Task Force and pardoned Raymond Reddington were to be honoured for their outstanding service to the country. He was still in hot pursuit of Liz as she veered off the street towards a nearby park, peacefully lit by incandescent lamplights along its’ meandering paths, but by the time he reached the winding path, Liz was nowhere in sight, swallowed up by the maze of trees and shrubbery.

All thoughts of irritation vanished as concern took over. Liz was hardly dressed for the rain shower that hung heavy in the air. But more than anything, he needed to be with her. He wanted to hold her. He had always had her back, but now things were different.  Ever since the other day... Nothing had happened really. But everything had changed.

They had been in the field, working a difficult case of a small child who had been kidnapped and miraculously escaped, but now feared lost within an old abandoned and unstable mine. The kidnapper apprehended and in custody, Ressler and Liz now waited anxiously, listening over coms as crews tried to locate and rescue the child. Liz was especially distressed under a mask of calm and composure, but to Ressler she spoke in hushed tones of the distinct possibility that the child would be found dead and returned, broken, to her parents, and this image had discomposed her more and more with each passing moment. Ressler stayed close to her, murmuring words of comfort, knowing this was hitting close to home for Liz, the kidnapped child, equal to Agnes in age. Finally, the heightened crackle over coms indicating the excitement in the voice of the rescuer, news came that the child was found safe, and Liz, in her relief let shed the tears that had threatened and suddenly flung her arms around Ressler’s neck and held him tight, hiding a sob or two in his jacket. Ressler’s own relief was eclipsed by the sheer intensity of Liz’s emotions and her need to channel them into him and his arms wrapped around her tentatively, but suddenly Liz pulled away and looked into Ressler’s eyes. He had wanted to kiss her. Badly. And he thought maybe she wanted the same, but he could not presume to know her feelings and this certainly wasn’t the place to sort that out. They stood there, eyes locked, while the world blurred around them. Ressler could see only Liz’s face and, in it, blinding beauty that shut out everything else. In that moment, a flood of pent up emotions from the last 7 years broke the dam Ressler had built around his heart and the landscape of his world was forever altered. But none of this could be addressed at that moment as Ressler and Liz were jostled by the parents of the kidnapped child, who demanded through tears of joy and relief when they could see their daughter and take her home. Ressler and Liz returned to professional mode immediately, following protocols to bring the case to it’s conclusion and this process lasted for a couple of days, then came the upheaval amongst the former Task Force members about the ball and the necessary preparations. Ressler was torn between irritation and relief at all the obstacles he faced in talking to Liz about what had happened/not happened between them. His head kept telling him he was dreaming, his heart yearned for hers. Then came tonight.

(Go to Part II)