#/std positive
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when you feel like shit so you have to make it your favorite characters problem (i know its messy chat,, let me project on him)
me when i overshare on the internet
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I don't think people should get mad about negative reviews of the things they like if the negative review is objectively funny.
#just saying if I was a Swiftie and a critic said 'the real torture is listening to the album' or whatever it was he said#I'd be making that my new blog title. I'd be putting it on tshirts#listen. the negative reviews of my favourite movie are infinitely more iconic than the positive ones#I'll still be laughing about 'a cauldron of slapstick surrealism and homosexual tension' and 'distinctly British STDs' on my deathbed
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meet positive singles
#dating#love#mature woman#men#relationship#positive thinking#positivity#positive thoughts#std testing#herpesvirus#herpes dating#herpes simplex virus
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i feel like medications whose explicit and total effect is to stop menstrual cycling shouldnt be called birth control. especially because it feels like theres a WILD amount of baggage in recommending "birth control" as the solution to pain or mood problems, as if the potential to give birth is like, the most relevant factor in that somehow. why cant you just call it period control or something
#same with my thing about asking if youre 'sexually active' and taking a yes as simultaneously 'positive potential for stds' and 'im gonna#get someone pregnant' and every fucking time you have to tell them Afterwards that youre not gonna get anyone pregnant by giving head.#WHY CANT WE SAY WHAT WE MEEEEEANNNN WHY CANT WE SAY WHAT WE MEAN
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kind of jealous of ghosts and the concept of ghost sex. the complete lack of need for prep or cleanup? what a dream
#rambling#and boy does that part make fic writing simpler#there’s like a million other things that make fic writing HARDER re: ghost sex but. let’s focus on the positives#like. okay I’ll mention one thing and that’s. like. how would lube work#i imagine condoms wouldn’t particularly be necessary but lube would? presumably? so what do you do about that#can they just use corporeal lube??? im thinking maybe? because it seems like ghosts Can consume corporeal things to at least some degree#like for example charles says ghosts CAN eat but they don’t because everything just tastes like sand and there’s no real point#so???#but yeah i have no idea#anyway. aside from that. lack of need for prep and general lack of worry when it comes to sanitation or safety#that’s……….incredible#you know what I wouldn’t be surprised if there are supernatural stds actually so maybe not NO worry about safety but. you know. whatever#I need to go to bed#edit: corporeal lube is my new band name
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one of the providers at my job is literally so incompetent that it’s alarming and it makes me so angry i don’t even understand why she did all that school and became a nurse practitioner this has been an ongoing problem since we opened last year and they fired my favorite most caring np ever bc of political corporate bullshit but this nightmare woman has been here the whole time racking up complaints violating hippa being homophobic etc on top of her being a huge bitch to me and my lovely coworker who’ve been here longest like i dont get it dude
#work rant its been awhile but damn dude i wanna punch her#someone tested positive for a scary std and she just took them off the lab list didnt call them or send any treatment in#it’s honestly cruel to be so uncaring and negligent in the medical field its so gross#she underdoses kids she hides the speaker so we cant listen to music she makes a mess and doesnt clean up after herself#she just doesn’t care#grown ass woman in her 50s btw if thats surprising
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#1 HERPES & STD DATING COMMUNITY & SUPPORT RESOURCE FOR POSITIVE SINGLES
#dating#disease#doctors#online dating#dating sites#couplegoals#couples#community#communication#intimacy#breakingstigma#std#hsv dating#hivdating#hsv infection#hiv aids#hiv infection#livewithherpes#healthy life hacks#positive life#positivethinking#positive mental attitude#love#breast cancer awareness#hivawareness#aids#healthy
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God is not a woman because tell me why my singular sexual experience (which I regret in a very blasé way rather than any kind of traumatic way) resulted in an STD scare and then 10+ years of total celibacy later, I still somehow end up with HPV.
#yes i know hpv is not an std#my gyno said i was her first patient ever to test positive for hpv with no history of penetrative sex#today is my pap smear wish me luck
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meet positive singles
#dating#love#mature woman#men#relationship#std testing#herpes dating#herpes simplex virus#herpesvirus#positive thoughts#positive thinking#body positive
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got my blood test results back and why is my blood fucked up
#bf misread smth n told me i got a pos std 😭 heart missed a beat but it's fine it's just positive bc i got vaccinated#everything good for tmrs hrt app tho. love n light
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PSluv - The World's Largest Confidential Herpes and STD Community for Dating, Friendship, Care and Support Since 2001
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wow I'm officially going thru a health scare🙃
#the dept of health called bc one of my std screenings came back positive🙃#been w my partner for 9 years in two weeks#not how i expected to celebrate our anniversary#fuck my whole entire life what the actual fuck#we've been faithful so it like hassss to be a false positive but its still fucking me up bc what if its not somehow#apparently autoimmune diseases can cause false positives and i do have fibro l#and wouldnt be surprised if my fibro is actually lupus🙃#bc i have unexplained rashes that pop up on my arms and legs#ugh wow this is stressful l
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Exploring the Unique Features of PositiveSingles iOS App
PositiveSingles iOS App: A Comprehensive Review
PositiveSingles is a renowned online community and dating platform for individuals living with sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). With the advent of technology, PositiveSingles has developed an iOS app that brings the same level of functionality and convenience to mobile devices. In this article, we will explore some of the unique features of the PositiveSingles iOS app.
Drift Bottle: One of the standout features of the PositiveSingles iOS app is the Drift Bottle functionality. This feature allows users to send virtual "bottles" containing messages to other app users. It adds an element of surprise and excitement to the dating experience, as users can receive messages from random individuals who are also part of the PositiveSingles community. It fosters a sense of connection and allows users to make new friends or even find potential partners.
Discreet Icon: Understanding the importance of privacy for its users, PositiveSingles has incorporated a discreet icon feature in its iOS app. This means that the app's icon on the user's device can be customized to appear as a different app altogether, ensuring that the user's privacy is protected. This discreet icon feature adds an extra layer of security and allows users to discreetly access the app without drawing unnecessary attention.
Voice Chatroom: To facilitate real-time communication and interaction among its users, PositiveSingles has included a voice chatroom feature in its iOS app. This feature enables users to engage in live voice conversations with other app users, fostering a more personal and intimate connection. It provides a platform for users to share their experiences, seek advice, and provide support to one another in a safe and comfortable environment.
STD Q&A: Another valuable feature of the PositiveSingles iOS app is the STD Q&A section. This section serves as a comprehensive resource for users to find answers to their questions regarding sexually transmitted diseases. It offers a wealth of information on various STDs, their symptoms, treatment options, and prevention measures. Users can also ask their own questions and receive responses from medical professionals or experienced individuals within the community. This feature empowers users with knowledge and helps them make informed decisions about their health.
The PositiveSingles iOS app offers a range of unique features that enhance the user experience and promote a sense of community among individuals living with STDs. From the exciting Drift Bottle feature to the discreet icon for privacy, the voice chatroom for real-time communication, and the informative STD Q&A section, this app caters to the diverse needs of its users. With its innovative functionalities, PositiveSingles continues to provide a platform for individuals to connect, support, and find love in a safe and understanding environment.
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So the tire-eating potholes in my neighborhood finally killed both my rear tires and I had to get that dealt with, but while they were getting replaced, I put the dogs in puppy daycare and upon picking them up early, the attendant literally sprinted to the front desk, grabbed me by the shoulders and breathlessly exclaimed "YOUNEEDTOCOMESEEWHATYOURDOGSAREDOING"
While she escorted me back to the play yards, she explained that every time they have more than three Corgi, they have to put all the Corgs in a separate play yard because they turn into a little gang and bully the Very Large dogs by playing Cow Herding Simulator 5000 with them, and especially if Herschel is there, because corgis are bossy-pants dogs, and Herschel has the bossiest pants of them all and acts as leader.
Despite being a little Don Corgleone to the short bitch mafia, Hershcel is also a Huge Baby and will apparently cry and cry and try to climb the fence and cry and eat people's shoelaces and cry if he is separated from Charlie during playtime, so this means any time that "Corgi Party" is happening, Charlie also has to go to Corgi party, despite being full-height, running cat software and a senior citizen. he copes with being Gulliver amongst the Liliputians by climbing onto the roof of the playskool castle they have for a climbing structure in the yard, kicking the ladder down behind him, and stretching out to nap in the sun while the corgi frolic and gambol around him.
Corgi are dogs that make up and play games with secret rules, like kindergartners. "Everyone bark in sync" is a popular game, as is "follow the leader" and it's companion game "March in a circle around a tall structure like ants caught in a death loop".
So what I was greeted with, when the attendant and I snuck out to the play yard, was the sight of Charlie, sound asleep and flat on his back with his paws crossed over his chest because sighthounds sleep in the stupidest fucking positions, on top of a faux-medieval castle with gargoyles on the corners, surrounded by approximately seven Corgi, all trotting in a circle around him, barking in sync.
"They look like they're preforming some kind of ritual!" giggled the attendant as attempted to get my phone to focus.
"Yeah, they're gonna summon Corgtulhu." I said.
Unfortunately, this made the attendant literally fall on her ass laughing, and distracted Herschel and his compatriots, so they didn't get to complete the summons, and I didn't get the pic.
The attendant kept laughing because apparently she's new to puns, and had mostly gotten it under control by the time we got everyone's leashes on and back out to the front.
The manager was watching the front desk, bemused. Did you get to see them doing the ritual?"
"YEAH!" shrieks the attendant, still excitable with merriment. "THEY'RE- THEY WERE-" The attendant ends up giggling on the floor.
"You okay there Katie?" asked the manager with minimal concern.
"We think they were trying to summon Corgthulhu." I eplain, and Katie screams from the floor. "Wasn't gonna work though, you need a virgin sacrifice and Charlie had an STD when we got him."
It was the manager's turn to shriek. and for Charlie and Herschel to start barking in solidarity.
"That's right Charlie! Your sluttiness saved the world!" I told him, as he jumped up and kicked me in the face.
Anyway, that's why Charlie's nickname at daycare is now "Superman(whore)"
---
If you found this story amusing, please consider donating to my Ko-fi or pre-ordering the Family Lore book on my Patreon so I can buy the good dogs more treats.
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Yours - 18+
Masterlist
Spencer never thought he’d be lucky enough to find you, but he has. You have all his devotion and all he hopes for in return is for you to let him stay yours.
Spencer Reid x Fem! Reader
DISCLAIMER This story contains strong themes and detailed descriptions of adult content. It is intended for mature audiences only, minors do not interact! You are responsible for the content you consume. Make sure to read all necessary warnings. Please remember this is a work of fiction; if you don’t like it, don’t read.
WARNING: Smut: softdom! Spencer, grinding, hickies, penetration, PinV, unprotected sex (this can lead to babies & stds btw, avoid this by being fivehead and using a condom), creampie. Proceed at your own risk.
Word count: 5.3K See notes at end for authors note & spoilers.
The question regarding the existence of soulmates is not a question that can be answered using science. Any individual’s answer to the question is more of a personal belief than a factual answer. And as a man of science, one would think that Spencer Reid would at least attempt to refute the ideology when asked.
The ideology that he himself is not whole, but only half of an intertwined soul. That another person is not only his other half, but also his better half. Somebody with whom he shares such a natural, deep understanding, that he feels complete simply by existing in their presence. It’s one of those phenomena he can’t explain, but only this one, he’s confident is true.
“Spence?” A light nudge accompanied by the whisper of his name breaks him away from his thoughts.
“Hm?” He blinks rapidly, focusing his eyesight on your curious face with a matching look.
The light from a singular bedside lamp only reaches half of his face. It casts a beautiful, soft contrast on his sharp features. The gold that’s usually hidden by the brown makes his irises look like sparkling pools of honey. Ethereal -not a word you would use when normally describing a man- but that’s how he looks.
“Do you believe in soulmates?”
He hadn’t ever thought he could believe in such a thing. Mostly because he’d always been sure that he would never experience it.
“Do you?” His voice carries your question back to you.
You can hear the city buzzing outside. Cars honking angrily in a futile attempt to speed up the pace of the traffic. People conversing, arguing, laughing. Loud thuds of music from the upstairs neighbour who cares little about the piling noise complaints. Somehow, the hum of Spencer’s words is the only sound that your ears register.
“I asked first.” You playfully scoff, breaking eye contact and swivelling your head straight.
Spencer mirrors your motions, both of you now facing the ceiling as you remain side by side on his bed.
“Yes.” His answer is barely above a whisper.
It seems that your bodies want to make up for lost contact. You can feel his pinky reaching out to touch yours as you meet him halfway.
“Me too.”
A comfortable silence takes over the conversation. Everything feels still. The only movement is that of his fingers grazing against yours. He’s touched you in far more personal places tonight alone, and this is still one of your most intimate moments. There are no expectations or hidden agendas. This is simply the two of you existing in each other's presence; his preferred way to exist. It stretches until another inane question makes its way to the forefront of your mind.
“Do you ever wonder if you’ll get to meet them in this lifetime?”
He pushes his frame up and rotates to face you as he sinks back down to the mattress. His head rests on the arm folded below it. You turn your head back to him so that you’re both holding eye contact again.
“No.” He mouths the answer, his voice hesitant to raise at first. “I wonder whether mine is a romantic bond or platonic.”
Your stomach flutters at the insinuation and you shift to mirror his position this time. In the midst of shuffling, the two of you seem to have closed a good chunk of the distance between you.
“What do you want it to be?” You whisper, entranced by his gaze.
Two of his knuckles lightly skim your cheek before those fingers brush your hair away from you. The act alone is enough to make your face heat up, no matter how many times he’s done it before. He begins to lazily stroke your hair, scratching your head in the process. It gives you the same tingling sensation you get from some rare ASMR videos.
You don’t follow up on your question, unable to remember anything that was on your mind beforehand. His touch, combined with the minimal lighting and close proximity provides you with a sense of security you rarely feel otherwise. Your lids begin to grow heavy and you're forced to break eye contact when the weight of them becomes too much.
“That’s really distracting y’know.” You mumble, eyes closed and voice hazy.
“I know.” He mutters, almost without sound.
He can’t help his smile as he watches you drift to sleep. He’s studied every feature on your face at least a hundred times and he’s yet to find a single flaw. The fact that you’re okay with being this vulnerable with him is a privilege that he’ll thank any and every deity he doesn’t even believe in for. Faint snoring indicates that you’re now dead to the world, but he can’t let your previous question go unanswered.
“Whichever one allows me to be yours forever.”
Waking up to the warmth of your body pressed against his is by no means a recent development in your relationship with Spencer. Your back is to his chest and his arm is draped across your stomach, trapping you against him. Not that you mind. You’ve been lying still as you are for almost a while now, your thumb caressing the side of his wrist. With a yawn nuzzled into your neck, Spencer attempts to pull you closer to him, closing distance that was never there to begin with.
He can feel the rise and drop of your chest; you can feel the beating of his heart behind yours. Neither of you is fully awake yet, opting to enjoy the silence and comfort of the other's presence. Your bodies are so closely tangled that your skin is almost melding with each other.
Almost.
The unexpected brushing of his hardness against your ass sends a jolt of electricity passing through you, waking you up in an instant. If it were anybody else, perhaps you would’ve felt ashamed of how that passing moment made your insides jump. You definitely wouldn’t have arched your barely clothed cunt towards the obstruction. A sharp exhale fans across the back of your neck, and you can practically feel the corners of his lips pull into a lazy smirk.
“Well, good morning.” A groggy voice leans into your ear and the grip on your belly tightens.
“Morning.” You breathe out, barely audible.
You feel yourself clench around nothing when a hot, sticky kiss lands just behind your ear. Your arch intensifies when another one lands below your jaw and you unintentionally grind against him. It earns you a low grunt from him, which only prompts you to repeat the motion without thinking. His head drops in the nook of your shoulder, taken slightly off guard. He meets you halfway the third time, and it sets both your hips in a slow motion of rubbing against each other.
He can hear you hum each time his confined erection strokes your bundle of nerves and it sparks a determination in him to get more out of you. His hand trails from your abdomen to your pelvis, stopping just at the band of your underwear. He tugs the fabric, not making any further moves until you allow him to. You know that if you don’t take control now he’s going to prolong his foreplay, something you don’t have the patience for right now. He always makes it a point to make you finish at least once before he even considers himself.
Out of the four times you came the night before, three of them were with his head between your thighs. You can’t even count the number of times you’ve teased him about how he probably gets off on pleasing you more than you do. You surprise him when you grab his hand and push it away from you, swinging yourself around to straddle him. Your hands land on either side of his head and you lower your forehead to rest against his.
“Nuh-uh!” You taunt and it makes him snort.
His palms trace your sides, arms wrapping around you, pulling your torso down to him.
“You’re not allowed to touch me this time.” You add in a hushed tone.
“No?” His brows raise in amusement.
“No.”
You barely breathe out the word when his arms drop from around you. A slight chill takes over the area.
“No!” You repeat in a whiny tone, pushing yourself to sit up.
You’re looking down on him from this angle, and God, does he look beautiful. His fluffy, sleep-tousled hair frames his face beautifully, the faint light of the rising sun only adding to the sight.
“That’s not what I mean and you know it!”
“I don’t know. You need to be clearer with what you want.” He chuckles.
“I want you to stop being a little shit.” You retort, reaching for his hands.
You attempt to settle them on your thighs, but he removes them again.
“I’m not allowed to touch you. Remember?” He emphasises the word allowed on purpose.
Both of you know that he’s the only one allowed to touch you and vice versa. Even if it wasn't something you both agreed upon, you’d never let anybody else touch you like him. If they even knew how to.
“You can touch me.” You roll your eyes, pulling his hands back to your skin. “But you can’t fuck me with anything other than your dick.”
Your curt tone doesn’t surprise him. He’s used to your boldness. Using your hips, he pulls you down onto his bulge completely. You don’t anticipate the sudden friction and it takes everything in you to not topple over on him. Spencer wasn’t prepared for the impact of his actions either, his head lolling back as he hisses sharply.
“Yeah?” He questions through half gritted teeth.
He’s painfully hard and the current view isn’t helping. He can clearly make out the shape of your curves under your flimsy t-shirt. How it drapes on the apex of your breasts, how the hem pools just above your thighs. His grip tightens against the plush of your skin.
“Mhm.” You breathe out, eyes fluttering as you keep your core pressed to him.
“Words, sweet girl. Use your words.” His breathing is laboured and it’s taking all of his willpower to not rut his dick back up against you.
The praise breaks you. You can no longer hold yourself up, falling into his chest.
“Please fuck me.” You can only whisper in his ear, sending chills down his spine.
He groans, grabbing you by the waist and flipping both of you around so you’re the one lying on the bed. It seems that he’s become just as impatient as you, if not more. He captures your lips in a deep, demanding kiss as he tugs his boxers just enough for his length to spring free. His tongue swipes your lips, seeking entrance and you grant it to him. He finds your kisses addicting. It takes an incredible amount of willpower to break them, but he does, sitting up on his knees.
He parts your legs, placing one on either side of him and yanking you closer to him. You squeak in response, not processing the action until your cores are once again pressed together. You sigh when he pushes your panties to the side and runs a finger up your slit. A satisfied hum escapes him when he learns just how aroused you are. You sigh when runs his tip against you next, lining himself up with your cunt and pushing just the tip inside. Each of his hands intertwine with yours as he moves them above your head. He then leans in and plants a feather-light kiss on your cheek.
“Like this?” He whispers in your ear.
He pushes in a little more and pulls out just enough for him to stay lined.
“More!” You whine, breathlessly, brows furrowing from anticipation.
“Mhm.” He doesn’t properly acknowledge your desperation and instead latches onto the skin under your jaw, sucking gently.
You sigh at the sensation, arching more as his shaft pushes in again. This time, he doesn’t stop until he’s completely bottomed out. You moan and squeeze his hands, still intertwined with yours above your head. You never expect how full he makes you feel. Spencer squeezes your hands in return, still reeling in from how well your cunt accommodates him. He takes a minute, resting himself inside you to allow time for both of you to adjust to the feeling.
He releases your skin with a small pop and moves a new spot on your neck. You think about how you’re going to have to use concealer to hide the marks he’s surely leaving behind and it makes you clench around him. The effect on him is instantaneous, a harsh groan vibrating against your throat and he sucks harder. The sound only makes your walls tighten more and it cues him to start thrusting.
The initial pace is slow, but calculated; the kind that makes your joints loosen and jaw slack. He takes the opportunity to capture your lips in another long and consuming kiss. A loud moan ripples out from both of you and your hands deepen their hold on each other. Spencer’s not shy about letting you hear how good you make him feel and that drives you insane.
Your hands instinctively try to reach for his hair, but he’s pinned you down tight. You whine into his mouth, pressing your fingers between his knuckles. Your whine fizzles out into a series of smaller whines when his hips speed up, hitting that sweet spot with every thrust.
“Mm–Spence–mmph–”
You try to break the kiss to speak, but he simply drops a quick kiss on your jaw before reclaiming his place against your lips. He’s too lost in the taste of you to pay full attention. It takes you a moment to find the willingness to try again, but you do. You arch your hips too high for him to be able to follow from this position, forcing him to slip out from you and try to remove your hands from his grip. His focus is brought back to you and he lifts himself back on his knees, releasing you.
“What’s wrong? Have I hurt you?”
“M-mm” You shake your head and push yourself up on your hands.
You then shift into his lap, draping your arms around his shoulders. He gives you a curious look, wrapping his arms around your waist.
“I want to be able to hold you.” You admit with a slight shyness in your tone.
A light smile spreads across his face, brows arching in surprise. Being a genius and all, he’s always known he was needed in some way or another. You’re the first person who’s ever made him feel wanted, truly wanted. With no motive other than simply existing with him. It sparks a new desire, one you see light up behind his eyes. He leans into your lips, his hold on your waist tightening and he moves one arm to cradle the back of your head.
You pull yourself flush against him, wrapping your arms around his neck as your tongues dance together once more. He lifts you up and places you back down against the mattress, mouth never leaving yours. You feel his palm raise one of your legs by the back of your knee and he’s entering you again. He rests that leg on his shoulder, while the other hangs by his waist and begins to build an unrelenting pace.
You wail into his mouth at the intensity of his thrusts, eyes rolling behind closed eyes. It’s almost brutal, the way he’s slamming into you. Your hands desperately cling onto his bicep and shoulder, nails digging into the skin. His grunts and groans increase each time he gets deeper, if that’s even physically possible and it only makes you desperate for more. Your kiss breaks with a slight sting against Spencer’s lip. You didn’t realise how hard you were biting it in an attempt to stay grounded.
There’s a shift in the atmosphere that you can’t explain. Even though Spencer was railing you so hard that even the bed had begun to cry out, there was an overwhelming sense of longing between you two. An ache to express how you belong to the other, hidden behind an uncouth sight. It’s compensation for those lack of words, a physical exchange expressing your biggest secret. He’s everywhere; your current position has you feeling Spencer in places you didn’t deem possible.
His mouth works over whatever exposed skin it can access along your jaw and throat, leaving goosebumps and bruising stains in its wake. His cock is driving into you so fast that you swear it’s going to imprint on your walls. There’s a fire in you, one that only he can put out. Every inch of him can be felt within every inch of you. Now you’re truly melded with each other.
“Fuck–oh my God!” You scream out, your nails digging harder into his flesh.
He’s consuming all of your senses, at this moment you don’t know anything other than him. Eyes open or closed, all you can see is his sculpted face. You’re drowning in his scent. Melting at his touch. The taste of his kiss still lingers on your tongue. Your ears are flooded with the slaps of his skin meeting yours and your mixed moans and grunts.
“Spen–fuck–gon–fu–cum!”
He hasn’t even spared your ability to speak. With a short kiss, he brings his forehead back to rest on yours in a firm manner.
“Me too, pretty girl.” He pants his sentence in broken pauses. “Me too.”
He secures the leg on his shoulder from the back of your thigh and then brings the other leg on his other shoulder. It gives him room to drive himself deeper and makes you lose all control, every joint in your body threatening to fall limp. Your face contorts and you bite your lip, trying to control the flurry of screams. It results in high-pitched whines forcing their way out.
“Spencer! I can’t–I can’t–I can’t”
You can’t hold on any longer.
“I know. I know.” There’s barely any voice accompanying his words. “We’ll do it together, okay? Where do you want me?”
“Inside–inside–ins-shitshitshit…”
“Inside? Inside.” He struggles to keep himself together while talking you through it. “Ready?”
You nod fervently and he steals one long, final kiss from you as he finally empties himself in your spent cunt. Your own orgasm crashes through in a long passing wave. You feel like you’re floating in the ocean with millions of stars as your only view for miles. He follows up with a few final thrusts, burying himself as far in you as possible.
When you finally come to, Spencer’s pulled out and is lying right next to you. Peppering kisses over your face in intervals and muttering praises as strokes away hair glued to your face.
“Did so well.”
“So good to me.”
“I’m so proud of you.”
For some reason, the water always feels nicer running down your body when you use Spencer’s shower. He’s a simple man; he doesn’t really have a lot of products to use besides the basic shampoo, conditioner, soap, and body wash. The exfoliators, masks and such were your initial additions that he keeps topping up after they run out.
You haven’t said much since coming out of your euphoric state, only showing your gratitude and appreciation through small touches. Brushing a hand against his cheek, leaving a peck on his shoulder, wrapping your arms around him in a hug. He doesn’t mind your silence. It doesn’t deter him from showering you with praise while he looks after you. You’re so disorientated that you’re letting yourself be guided from one instruction to the next.
“Lift your leg for me, sweet girl. Hand on my shoulder.”
He helps you act out his command, grabbing your wrist and draping it on his shoulder while helping you lift your leg. His touch is tender, but he’s careful to cover every area with body wash.
“Good girl.”
You don’t physically react, but his approval makes you swell with pride. Sex is the least intimate part of your time with Spencer. What you really enjoy is how safe he makes you feel. You know that even if you show him your worst and ugliest moments, he won’t reject you. You trust him with parts of you that you barely trust yourself with.
Anybody who’s touched your naked body before him doesn’t matter, because not one of them has gotten to touch it past the realm of physical pleasure. To you, the act of washing one’s body is so private, so sacred that it can’t be trusted with just anybody. How many are able to look past the lens of sexual release and view your skin and bones as something to cherish? Not even you can claim to view yourself in such a precious way.
But Spencer does.
Even as pats you dry and wraps you safely in a warm towel, he doesn’t demean your worth. They’d be thoughts he could easily keep hidden in the comfort of his own mind, but the thoughts simply don’t occur. You don’t realise how long the two of you are standing there, leaning into each other's arms against the counter. Nor do you realise how long it’s taken you to mentally return to him. The first thing you do notice is so trivial, it’s almost laughable.
“You’re out of apple juice, by the way.”
Even you’d laugh if you heard yourself bring up something so random.
“Do you want apple juice? We can go buy some more.” He replies in a quiet mumble.
In his presence, you can think such thoughts without the concern of being laughed at.
“No, I’m not gonna make you go to the grocery store just for apple juice.” You shake your head, expression oozing sarcasm.
“I need to buy a lot more than apple juice. I’m pretty sure I don’t even have enough to make eggs or coffee.” He snorts, running his fingers through your hair.
“Right. I forgot, Mister F.B.I.” You snort back, playfully poking his arm. “How was your time in Alaska?”
It’s really common for your brain to malfunction around Spencer. You don’t feel the need to think or stay on alert if he’s with you.
“Grim. Bleak.” He keeps it short on purpose.
He doesn’t want to taint what little time he has with you focused on the gory parts of his job. Or any parts of his job at all. He spends too much of his time there as it is, so he’d much prefer to keep that part of his life separate from you. Spencer didn’t understand what it truly meant to live until after you came into his life. He’d never admit it out loud, but being around you made him realise how much of his soul his job steals from him, piece by piece. You make it whole again.
“How bad was it?” Curiosity still gets the better of you at times.
“Awful. You weren’t there when I woke up every morning.” He steers the conversation again.
“Uh-huh.” You smirk, looking up at him. “You say that to all your girl-friends the morning after?”
He takes a small step back, creating space as he cups your face.
“Even if I had the social skills required, when do you honestly think I would have the time between being at work and being with you?”
“When you’re at work. Duh.” You tap his temple, playfully, voice dripping with sarcasm.
He scoffs, unamused. It’s something Spencer can’t honestly even imagine. You’re his solace, his best friend…his person.
“Get dressed.” He presses a kiss to the top of your head. “We’ll stop by that bakery you love and get some food in your system. Hopefully before your suggestions start becoming more and more insane.”
You don’t appreciate the awestruck look on his face when you’re certain you’ve got chocolate lining the corners of your mouth. You attempt to glare at him, but it doesn’t last and you find yourself fighting back a smile.
“Cut it out!” You groan, stringing out the end of your sentence.
The trolley comes to a halt as you stop to grab your phone, but he snatches it out of your hand before you can open the camera.
“Hey–”
“I’m revoking your phone privileges until your urge to keep checking your reflection fizzles out.” He states casually, slipping the phone into his pocket as he reaches for a loaf of bread on the top shelf.
“Revoking my– what are you my fucking mother?” You reach for his pocket, but he grabs your wrist before you can retrieve your phone.
You try to use your free arm, but he traps that one in his hands too.
“I don’t wanna walk around with chocolate around my mouth!” You whisper-shout, mindful of other shoppers passing by.
“For the fifth time, you don’t have chocolate anywhere on your face. It wasn’t there after you finished your shake and it won’t be there no matter how many times you check.”
You ignore him, trying to free yourself from his grip.
“You don’t believe me?” The look on his face is more entertained than shocked.
“Spencer, my fluffy-headed, genius bookworm, I would put my life in your hands if you asked me to but after that time you let me walk around with my lipstick smudged–”
“That happened one time!” He gripes, less concerned about his volume.
“I looked like I came straight off the clock from a circus!”
“It wasn’t that bad!”
“Six hours, you let me walk around like that!”
If he were to be completely honest, he was completely enraptured by your long tangent about why you despise dolphins. Most of it wasn’t based on facts and the parts that were, weren’t really a feasible argument since morals are a uniquely human concept. However, that was the day he uncovered how brightly you light up when you talk about something you’re passionate about. He spent the rest of that time, subtly digging, trying to figure out the topics that made you glow so he could keep bringing them up.
“There’s nothing there. Your face is– looks perfect.” He fumbles on his words.
“I can feel it!” You protest.
“That happens because–”
“Reid?” An unfamiliar voice calls out from behind you.
Spencer lets go of your wrists as you turn to face the owner of the voice. Two blondes, one behind the other. One of them is a lot more colourful and bold, with large statement jewelry and a pair of gorgeous platform heels that match her dress. The other is less vibrant, but with no less confidence and blue eyes that stand out like diamonds shining under lights.
“Hey! What are you guys doing here?”
You’re not a profiler, but you don’t miss the immediate shift in Spencer’s demeanour. He seems a lot more reserved and shy, as compared to the confidant and playful version of him that you know.
“We’re picking up some things for my birthday bash this weekend.” The brown-eyed blonde chirps. “The one that I will definitely see you at, no excuses allowed!”
“Right.” He gives an awkward, tight-lipped smile.
Spencer loves his coworkers, he really does. They’re basically his family. However, he wants nothing more for them to go away right now. Not for any reason other than wanting to keep you away from them, because he knows them. For all their amazing qualities, there’s one that annoys him the most and that’s how nosey they can be. Especially when it comes to him.
“Hi. I’m JJ.” The blue-eyed blonde takes the initiative to introduce herself, reaching out her hand for a friendly shake.
He knows it’s from a place of love. He’s the youngest member of the team, they all want to protect him, but he detests how they coddle him. He can already sense the incoming invitation from Garcia to her birthday. He knows that it won’t take long for you to befriend everyone on his team, because, well, they’re all amazing people. Integrating you with that part of his life is something he’s just not ready for. Not like this.
“I’m Penelope and oh my goodness, you are just gorgeous!”
He enjoys how when he’s with you, he can exist in a separate bubble. Where all he is, is not the resident genius of the BAU. More than that, he knows of the dangers that come with integrating the two separate lives. He’s seen the losses that occur, whether they be by generic circumstances or unplanned deaths. And there’s nothing he can do to stop his worlds colliding, a fact he has to grasp as soon as he zones back in to find three sets of eyes staring at him, expectantly.
“Right.” He clears his throat, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “These are my– um– this is Penelope Garcia and Jennifer Jareau, or JJ. We work together.”
The introduction is hesitant and rushed at best, but you chalk it up to him being taken off guard. You want to gauge his mood, try and figure out where his head’s at, but that’s going to have to wait.
“Oh my God! I knew it!” Garcia gasps dramatically, taking your hand in hers. “You’re the reason he’s always in a rush to leave now! It is so nice to meet you!”
Garcia’s not wrong. You are the reason he’s always in a rush to get away. You’re his escape from the harsh realities he faces every day. You’re unsure of how to respond. In fact, you’re not even certain as to what’s going on. Nobody else seems to match Penelope's enthusiasm. Spencer looks mortified, while JJ looks like she wants to drag Penelope away. Still, everybody’s too frozen to stop her.
“Did you know that you have him checking his phone more than a lovestruck teenage girl? Him! One of the biggest technophobes I’ve ever met!”
This is also a fact. Spencer’s not an idiot. He’s not oblivious to the open-mouthed stares he gets every time he’s caught smiling like a dopey idiot after looking at the screen. He’s just never cared. It’s almost impossible to ignore any notification from you. He doesn’t feel great about that coming to bite him in the ass right about now.
Given different circumstances that were more in his control, Spencer would be elated to introduce the most important people in his life to each other. This whole interaction is actually shorter than he feels it is, but for Spencer, time moves too slowly. He can sense how the safety of your company as he knows it, the most valuable aspect of his life, is under threat of being ripped away from him with every second that passes. Without you, Spencer would once again find himself lost.
“Spencer, you have to bring her to my bash this weekend! Everybody would love to meet your girlfriend!” Garcia wiggles her eyebrows, eyes smirking beneath her glasses.
Because all he is, is yours.
“Oh! Uhm–” You begin.
“No Garcia, she’s–this is…my friend..” He adds at the same time, unable to hide his stutter.
At least, that’s all he wants to be.
“Right…we’re just…friends.” You confirm with a half-hearted smile at the reminder of your reality.
It was better this way. The two of you agreed on this at the start of your arrangement.
Spoilers: Mostly just fluff, a sprinkle of angst, smut, lots of mutual pining, friends with benefits.
AN - I felt a surge of evil take over my bones when I wrote this and any events that unfolded were out of my control. This is not my finest work, but once I thought of it I had to share it. Also I know I said not to bother me about fics bc uni and I still mean that, I just don’t know what happened. It’s like I got a bit of inspo and couldn’t help myself. Huge thanks to @mrs-dr-reid for beta reading! FWB Writing Challenge by @imagining-in-the-margins Prompt - "I wanna be yours" by Arctic Monkeys
No bc writing that opening scene on the bed might be my favourite and u should tell me if u agree bc I wanna write more like that, but if u hate it then I won't.
Thanks for reading.
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