#/pos btw. he would change for the better

[feliniakattus]

thinking about thunder music taste

[stunie]

i just WOKE UP !!?????!!!!!!

2024.07.15 — dinner date with Ume. ♡

(hands up if you know where the reference photo’s froooommmmm!!!! >:3 aju nice.)

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

if it’s not too much trouble, could you share a bit about how to better support closeted/ just-cracked trans women?

Okay this is going to be a fairly long response, be warned. Its also based off personal experience (or lack of positive experience) from how I'm treated irl. also its 4 am some of this may be less coherent than I want but whatever.

The basics: name & pronouns. Ask who its safe to use these in front of!!! Dont out someone to their parents or partner or boss!! Otherwise use these as much as possible. Avoid deadnames and dead-pronouns as much as possible too - I am fine with being they/themed over he/him and prefer a nameless "later, nerd" to "bye, deadname". sometimes its unavoidable but many times its not. this is 101 stuff but I see lots of people forget it.

Going out and about: GO. WITH. HER. A LOT. She fucking needs it. Go clothes shopping together and teach her how to pick out good clothes/outfits and how to at least begin to decipher the mess that is sizing. Find her a "spinny skirt" (pleated mini skirt or skater skirt, forgot the exact one but anything similar to those) if she really wants one, I dont care how cringe you find the memes this is more important than Reddit Bad jokes. IF YOU ARE ABLE TO, TAKE HER TO THE WOMENS WASHROOM WITH YOU. yknow how girls go to the bathroom in groups for safety? yeah trans women need triple that safety and nobody provides it like ever, even other trans women. change that and be that safety. also, if youre like ordering food or at the cashier, always use the correct pronouns even if misgendering happens. if she gets a "what would you like sir" from the waiter, you are going to say something like "she would like a cheeseburger with fries and a fountain drink". this will save her ass from a lot of awkward correcting.

transitioning & hrt: if she needs a space to wear femme clothes safely, invite her over or go out together. try to avoid places where people she's not out to frequently go. for hrt, if you already accessed it HELP HER AS WELL. the amount of people who are like one step removed from pulling the ladder up behind them with regards to hrt is insane. so much "fuck you got mine" attitude in this community. anyways, DESCRIBE THE PROCESS YOU WENT THROUGH, STEP BY STEP. mention specific doctors, clinics, etc. if you do diy, mention the provider, what to look for on blood work, how to take it (injection, gel, etc) and send relevant articles/pages, about each part, not just the hrt wiki home page. if you have a prescription, mention ANY AND ALL procedures you went through to get hrt. psychologist? readiness assessment? any other screening process? DESCRIBE IN DETAIL WHAT YOU WERE ASKED AND HOW YOU ANSWERED. this can literally be a life saving thing. treat that information like the death star plans and she is the rebellion. precise motherfucking details. similar thing for any surgeries like ffs, tracheal shave, various types of bottom surgery. if you and her are going through different systems (say, you got it under 18 as a youth and she's 22 and no longer qualifies for that, or she wants diy while you have a prescription) then look up third party anecdotes as well. reddit is great for this as they often have city specific trans subreddits which lets you look at local doctors/clinics/providers & shipping. if she gets hit with dysphoria, "you are valid" CAN help new girls but as a half closeted girl for the past three years, I know I'm valid already thank you very much. dysphoria is different to each person, just be there to comfort her, help distract if nothing else. Teach her to shave if she wants, offer to do her makeup if you know how (some tutorials are made by and for trans women btw! check those out if you can). if she wants to order things online, anything from a flag to a dress to diy hrt, but can't for fear of outing, OFFER TO BE THE RECEIVING ADDRESS AND PASS IT ON IN PERSON. you can also try setting up a PO box away from home. covering some costs can potentially help lower suspicion but only do this of you have the money. in general just be a safe & informative helpful person who is willing to stand by her side.

Other general tips:

- if you are transfem yourself you will know and experience many of these things. do not withhold information like others do. did you have another trans person in your own life who helped you out when you first cracked? if yes, now its your turn. if no, then dont let her lose out on that too. actually support your sisters for once.

- if you are having sex, she may want to be submissive and/or bottom more as these are often "forbidden" when youre male. if thats compatible with you then try to accommodate that, and throw in some gender affirming stuff like a "good girl". praise kink often works well here, but always ask first. teach her how to bottom if she wants. AFTERCARE holy shit aftercare. yeah that should also be at least skmewhat gender affirming. dont skip out.

- the self doubt spiral: "you are valid" are the three words that get way more use than they really should. "valid" is so vague that its near useless. if you can, find the specific root (e.g. "I feel like a pervert cuz I get euphoria boners when I wear a sexy dress") and respond with counter examples that tell her she belongs, she is a woman, e.g. "youre not a pervert, plenty of cis women feel similar and enjoy dressing sexy as well". this is mainly for self doubt not other types of dyphoria.

- she will probably be really fucking depressed and possibly even suicidal at some point. usually close to egg crack or after a shitty experience. personally, I have a lot of passive suicidal thoughts where I dont wnat to make any attempts but wouldn't mind if I vanished, if it weren't for a few things. try to be there as a rock in the stream for her to hold onto during depression. it is fucking rough and in the words of bill withers, we all need somebody to lean on. eventually we will all stand tall together.

I am sure there's more but I think I covered most of the points I wanna make.

[harvestingsun]

SPOILERS FOR KUNG FU PANDA 4

This is a massive rant btw. I have a lot of thoughts about this movie

(TW: Bad spelling and not remembering any names 💀)

...

Yh so I'm ranting rn

Like it was good, but not great 🕴️. Does not compare to the first 2, DEFINITELY not the second one, that one was just 🙌🏽 . And u know, that's ok, it's hard to pull a puss in boots and do better than the originals, but still the movie was lack luster

These are my points for why:

1. Plot was SO obvious. As soon as I saw that fox I knew she d be the new dragon warrior, cuz yh. Just obvious. And you know what? I wouldv been fine with that if they developed her character more. Like her bond with po SHOULDV been developed SO MUCH MORE. It felt like their whole dynamic was she was sarcastic and he went 🥺 n that's it. Like, why couldn't they have bonded more on them both being orphans ? How she feels unwanted because the world has rejected her and KEEPS rejecting her, but Po (who has gone thru a very similar thing) can teach her that yes that may be true, but that won't always be the case and once she finds her found family she can feel accepted, just like what happens to Po.

2. The villain and her daughter - so much potential but not enough done for them. Like just. I loved their dynamic, just SO MICH POTENTIAL BUT NOT ENOUGH GIVEN. There was one flashback of them meeting. That's it. There was basically only r4 interactions between them aswell: the betrayal scene, the "I'm using you" scene,the flashback and the final fight. And in NONE of these does it show how strong of a connection they have what about their relationship makes the fox betray Poe for the chameleon??? I wish we had a shi fu and tai lung type flashback where it showed the chameleon raising her and them developing a bond so that we know how hard it is for the fox to go against her orders

3. The villain herself - what motive ? U cannot convince me that "I'm evil because all the kung fu masters rejected me because I was too small" WHEN THERES A SNAKE THE SAME SIZE AS HER AND A F*CKING BUG WHO ARE BOTH AMAZING KUNG FU WARRIORS . like no. Just no. Someone would accepted her. U can't use her size as a reason for her becoming evil, just no. Instead, why not explain her reason being that she was poor/living in the streets ? A large portion of the movie is set around how there's a large group underground who have turned to crime, and poverty is often rampant in cities, so why not use that ? It also allows her to bond more with the fox as they have the same upbringing, but instead the chameleon was never able to get past how no one helped her and everyone rejected her, whilst the fox is able to accept where she is and find ppl who will accept her. Then they could've had a rlly impactful scene in the end where the fox accepts change and wanted the chameleon to change with her because SHE loves her and would fight for her, mother daughter style. Like writing that out just rlly made me think about how much they missed the mark, almost all 3 KFP movies are about father-son bonds, this movie could've had an impactful mother-daughter bond n it blew it 😩. So yh, I don't think the villains motive was fleshed out enough, I just don't think that her being small should have been the main centre for her character. Compare her to all the past villains, her motive is too simple and not developed enough

4. Tai lung and shen. NOT USED ENOUGH. How dare u bring those GODS OF VILLAISN back and not use them properly. And also have Po barely be surprised about them . SHEN IS THE MAN THAT COMMITTED MASS GENOCIDE AGAINST UR SPECIES, KILLED UR MOTHER AND LEFT U AN ORPHAN, Y R U NOT SHOCKED OR WORRIED THAT HE S HERE. And on top of that, ain't no what that peacock would simply bow and go " 🙂" and leave. He ain't bowing to Po, why would he respect him ? Shen doesn't CARE about being the dragon warrior, that wasnt his calling or whatever. Like, i could hav accepted it if he at least had a sentence apologizing for his actions, just ANYTHING that explains why he s so calm. I'm not angry that he is calm, I'm angry that it wasn't explained 🕴️(and tbh, I don't even think he needed a redemption arc much. He did horrible stuff, yes he has trauma, doesn't explain his actions. His death was a result of his arrogance and karma for his actions, I just think his character was fine (stressing him as a character was well written) the way it is, of anything this movie and taken away from his character )

And tai lung. Most of his character in this was comedy. And him going from "you are a mistake🙄" to "actually ur not a mistake 😏" within 10 minutes was annoying. I wish there was more interaction between him and Po. Then fighting together, bonding. Have them BOTH grow to move on from the title of dragon warrior together, since that title is such a grand part of both of their identities that they both have had a tough time letting go of. Once again, I'm not angry that he made jokes n was acting goofy (that was fun, I liked that), I'm annoyed that the movie didn't explain or provide context for why he was able to get over his past feelings and beliefs.

I can understand that they died and were able to let go of their actions in their mortal life, i just wish that it was addressed or properly shown. Especially shen, in his last moments he was given the chance to fess up n be good and he still refused. Bro died with u finished business, I would like to see how he came to terms with that or at least hav it b addressed

Overall, the bringing back of the past VILLAISN was fumbled. So much potential, but not used and on top of that it just kinda makes a joke of them and their original actions.

--> quick add on that I just remembered. Where r the five ? Like, I understand that they could've get the actors back or whatever. Ok find. But why not hav the chameleon capture all of them at the start and then they remain captured/past out/in a coma the rest of the movie until they R rescued :/. Like. That's such a better way of writing them out cuz a. It gives Poe even more incentive to want to take down the chameleon B. It makes the chameleon a much more threatening villain, cuz all the chameleon does in this movie is push one dude down some stairs, and then bring back so dead ppl, lick them n put them in a cage 🕴️. I would appreciate more stakes. ALSO PO SHOULDV TALKED ABOUT HIS FRIENDSHIP WITH THE 5 MORE, cuz this guy is a yapper, ain't no way he ain't talking bout them. It couldv once again been a way he bonded with the fox, if both of them had looked up to the 5 or something like that, or maybe even just about how Po can't wait to accept the fox into his found family

ANOTHER SIDE NOTE: wish they developed po and the foxes friendship. I might hav said this b4, I hav bad memory. Just there could've been more bonding , wish there was but alas 😪

5. Poe s trauma ? Now, I'm a psychology student. I love seeing mental health and depth show in movies so I kno I'm being a bit picky. I just wished that we could see more of Poe coming to terms of all the stuff that has happened to him. Or at least referenceing it. I just think that he was way too jokey and light hearted the whole time. Like, there was a scene where fireworks suddenly went off next to him. I wish he flinched or anything like that, since fireworks were such a big thing (almost a trigger) for him in the first movie because of the mass killing of his species by shen. Like, even if he has gotten over it all, it would have been great to have him reference everything he s been through. It could hav been one of the things he bonded over with the fox, how yes, times get tough but you can get thru it if u r supported by the right people

Like tbh I think it wouldv been rlly cool if this movie focused on love :both the healthy and toxic types. Bringing back old villains can reference old baggage , like the toxic love between tai lung and shi fu, and the chameleon and the fox. It could be about breaking those toxic habits and changing to move past them and let the last go. Po couldv acted as the message of that, he could show his surroundings characters how to let go of the past to move on to a better future . Like, after everything he s been through that wouldv been so impactful.

Overall, just a lot of missed potentials in this movie. Still liked it tho. So here are some things I liked.

Visuals: fun visuals . Tho I do think some of the scenery wasn't as memorable as previous movies. Like comparing this villains hideout (wrong word but oh well) to shens, shens is so much more memorable and impactful. Looking at it you feel intimidated. In this movie, not so much. But it was still very pretty and u can tell some hard work went behind it, had some great animations, very smoothe, so yh :)

VIOLA DAVIS AS THE CHAMELEON 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 LOVE HER, LOVE THE VOICE ACTING JUST 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽 like, the chameleon wasn't fleshed out as much as I'd hoped, but I still love her because I can FEEL that's she could be AMAZING cuz everything else was great except for the lack of backstory. Like I love her power, I love her character design, I love her voice .

The gay dad's 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 I loved them. Highlight of the movie for me🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 every scene I saw them I smiled. I just loved them so much, that was so cute, I love how they cared about Po so much AND CARED ABOUT EACH OTHER!! That was so cute. Loved that so much. I would watch an entire movie of them cuz just 🙌🏽🙌🏽 loved them so much.

So yh, that's it. Gonna go rewatch all the other movies now

[kairiscorner]

Hello and goodevening po!! Can I ask for a Miles x Gn!Filipino!Reader where the two have been bsfs since like middle school and they've just started dating and one day reader's family invites him over for dinner where they serve adobo and pork sinigang, and him and the parents are just casually talking while the little siblings are being complete chismosas abt y'all and stuff and when your finally only with him in your room and everything is romantic your brothers are lit just stalking y'all and suddenly teasing you and your just chasing them out embarassed 😭

(Aaah i'm really writing this in the notes app for practice bcs this is my first request but i just can't get this out of my head 😭😭😭, also pls take your time on this time, don't need to rush and gl on that miguel fanfic!! <33)

AH HI !! DWDW, thank you btw <:DD (mgee it's just sitting in my gdocs collecting dust LOL) BUT GOOD LUCK WITH WRITING THAT TOO ON YOUR END, I HOPE YOU LIKE WHAT I MADE <333

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

gonna admit it? miles x gn!filipino!reader

summary: you and miles are just really good friends, but your family wishes you two were a little more than that–and your siblings are eager to witness how in love you both are with each other. word count: 1,184

you invited miles over for dinner, which was common practice in your family's household. he wasn't any stranger to this custom, in fact, he treated your family as if they were his own. he got along with your parents quite well, calling them 'tio' and 'tia' and extending his hand out to them to receive their blessing. he was who your parents wanted for you, a decent guy who was respectful, cheerful, helpful and loving–but you and miles swore there was nothing going on between you two.

"i just really care about them a lot, tio, tia." he said as he got himself another bowl of adobo. you pretended to gag as you got yourself a pork sinigang, which miles rolled his eyes and smirked at. you two had this silly little rivalry between you two where all friendships would be forgotten when adobo and sinigang were on the table; he always chose adobo, and you always chose sinigang–never the other way around. your parents chuckled to each other and shot a devious look at you and asked you if you and miles weren't lying, to which you chortled out your response. "siyempre naman po, i'd never pick a boy who'd choose adobo over sinigang, no..." you muttered as miles made a yapping motion with his hand that mocked your expression as you spoke, eliciting laughter from your younger siblings as he laughed along silently with them.

you shot them an intimidating look and kicked miles lightly in the shin to get him to stop being so smug as your parents smiled to themselves, finishing their meals as you and miles still bickered in a friendly way on how adobo and sinigang are better than the other. you loved miles, apart from his–what you believed–very twisted way on taking the adobo versus sinigang debate, and was extremely happy to be his friend. you have known miles ever since middle school, and since then, you two have never been anywhere without the other. most of your friends had shipped you and him together, going on and on about how cute of a couple you two would be.

your family was obviously no stranger to this incessant pairing between you two, and you were relieved they liked miles enough to treat him like he was family, but you absolutely hated how annoying they got whenever you mentioned him or they saw your posts on instagram with him in the pictures. like tonight, your parents kept asking you subtly (and not so subtly) for hints between you two, if you two changed your minds and were secretly dating now, or...? well, you didn't have to think about your answer too much, because the answer was the same as always: siyempre, hindi.

your parents pretended to believe you as you and miles were going to head upstairs to your room to just hang out, your dad stopped miles on the way and reminded him not to do anything stupid with you, and shot you a look of warning, as well, as your mother chimed in and told you the living room was a better option to 'hang out'. you tried telling your parents nothing weird or dangerous would happen anyway, while miles poked fun at you from behind to entertain your little siblings–making silly faces behind your back as you spoke.

you turned around quickly as soon as your parents finally let you and miles go, smiling a little at miles' funny faces. you rolled your eyes at him as you took him by the hand and dragged him up along the stairs. your little siblings followed you two up without you knowing, and they were giggling to themselves as they snooped around and watched you two, hoping you two would finally kiss.

you and miles just sat on tour bed together, not really doing much but just teasing each other. miles really refuses to let go on his love for adobo, and you refuse to let down your stance that sinigang is superior. amid your friendly argument, you started to tickle miles to get him to let up his side. miles cried out for you to stop tickling him through peals of laughter as you laughed alongside him and tickled him even more. your siblings were watching you both by the door and squealing in delight to themselves as they took out their phones to film and capture this moment, while also debating on which ship name would be better for you two.

your tickle fight with miles wasn't one-sided, as miles tickled you back with full force, causing you to squeal out in laughter as you tried to subdue him. your siblings watched the whole scene unfold, and their hopes that you two would get closer was fulfilled when miles accidentally got on top of you as his tickling got a little out of hand. you both quit tickling each other and laughing as you were both now face-to-face with each other so up close. "i... i can, um, sorry. i-i'll get off now." miles stuttered in embarrassment as he tried to get off you, but you held him by the shoulders and gently pulled him back down closer to you. "huwag, ah... please stay." you pleaded with him as your face felt hotter as you pulled him closer.

miles smiled as he got more flustered in the face and did as you asked him to. "alright, but you'll admit adobo is better, right?" he asked you in a teasing voice as you cursed him out playfully and smacked him lightly on the arm. your siblings couldn't handle it anymore and squealed loudly as you two got closer. they screamed in utter delight at how adorable you two looked, and as you heard them, you momentarily got off from under miles and creaked the door open slowly as your siblings celebrated your admission of feelings towards him--well, almost admission of feelings, at least.

you coughed loudly, which made your siblings turn to face you slowly, as a raging fire was kindled up in your eyes, you screamed at them and told them to hand you their phones and never to speak of what they witnessed to any living soul, ever. "SINASABI KO SA INYO, MUMULTUHIN KO KAYO, KAHIT PAG PATAY NA AKO, 'PAG PINAKITA NINYO SA KAHIT SINO YAN, HUMANDA KAYO SAKIN!" you exclaimed as your siblings ran away from you, with miles poking his head out the door as he watched you hunt down your siblings and see them begging for mercy from you as you waved your slippers around to scare them even more. he chuckled as he leaned against the door frame, calling out to them, "hey, send me the videos and pics! i gotta have a copy of them!"

you berated miles from a distance as you kept threatening your siblings never to tell your parents or anyone about what they saw. though miles doesn't mind if anyone else knew about you two like that... he'd like to know from you yourself how much further this 'friendship' between you two will go.

[cramathonn]

Hey!! I saw you had requests open, but when you have the time, I would like an Anton x pirate! Reader (Like the faction the reader is like a pirate crew despite having no sea based areas yet in ZZZ 😭)

Anon... Anon holy shit your brain is humongous. You woke up the small pirate hyperfix I have omg-/pos

Since you didn't specify what role pirate reader would be, I'll be a little silly and make them a navigator. So... Yea, I hope this is ok with you, dear anon. If you'd like a more deck hands reader or even captain reader, you can just send another ask and I will write it like that!

The content ahead is gender neutral and will not have reader referred to with any pronouns!

Content warning: none! Just headcanons and fluff

Anton Ivanov x Pirate!GN!Reader

★ Listen, constantly going on voyages and being at sea almost all the time will most certainly make you smell of salty water or like a tropical breeze, you can't change my mind. And Anton absolutely loves that smell, he would most definitely just rest his face near your neck or on your hair and take a VERY NOTICEABLE inhale. His muscles relax almost immediately when he does that

★ Absolutely hates how long you take to come back from voyages. Like, yeah, your ship is probably equipped with the most recent machinery to make your travels last less, but it still takes a while, specially considering that the weather makes a big difference in trip durations

★ Will hug you so tight when you come back tho, bear hug levels of tight. Will inquire on how everything went and will want to hear every last detail. Like, dude has barely been able to hear your voice during that entire time because your signal was shit or he didn't have time due to his work on Belobog, so please yap about everything that happened on your trip, he missed you so much

★ Also, during those times you are away, Anton will visibly be like a sad puppy waiting for its owner to come back home and he will yap about how much he misses you to whoever asked him if he was ok (please hurry back, Ben and Koleda can't handle much more of Anton's whining)

★Some times, Belobog hires your crew to bring some materials for them and Anton ALWAYS goes along (he begs for Koleda to let him go every single time and she lets him because PLEASE GOD spare her ears she can only handle so much)

★ Simply adores seeing you at work, he won't understand a lot of it but gosh, you look so attractive while cracking the coordinates of where you guys should go inside a hollow and relaying the information to your crewmates

★ Will be by your side constantly when you're on that voyage. He will obviously do his job, he prides himself in what he does, but will do so while staying by your side. If you need to do something when he's working, he'll let you go and finish what he's doing before rushing back to your side

★ Listen when I say this, he loves how you look when you're in your uniform. Regardless if how it looks like, he just loves it. Seeing you wearing your work uniform, dedicated to your role in the crew is so attractive in his eyes (he is vocal about how gorgeous you look to him, btw, will drop compliments here and there)

★ Anton isn't a big fan of staying at home, so be prepared for high or medium activity dates. Going on walks, going to the beach, going to the pool, whatever it is as long as it's not staying at home is a must with him

★ His personal favorites, however, are beach and boat dates. Yes, boat dates, as in he rents a boat and goes to a river with you type of boat dates. He loves seeing how you still get in your navigator mentality even when on dates, he finds it endearing

★ Will bring his bro along dates tho. It's his bro, he ain't leaving him behind! So you better get used to having Anton's bro revving up during your hangouts, specially if you guys go to Bardic Needle (his bro likes to sing)

★ Talking about singing, share the songs you and your crew sing during voyages! Heck, even teach him some, he'd love singing those with you (or simply just listening to you sing)

★ Now, if you're exhausted after returning from a voyage or planning for it, Anton is taking you back home to get a warm comforting bath and a well balanced meal (that he most likely bought at Lumina Square because, in my mind, he's not a good cook)

★ And in the topic of food, Anton would gladly help you prepare your and your crew's rations for voyages, keeping in mind the amount of nutrients best fit for consumption during specific times of day. He's THE meal prep guy.

★ tldr: he loves you and whole heatedly supports your pirate endeavors, helping you prepare for trips and taking care of you when you return. Don't let this man go because he sure ain't letting you go.

[mabelbun]

▪ another redesign of Roger / S.I.M.O.N that I never shown last night about his Fursuit I've wanted to make his eyes like X's Symbols Ever since Given the fact Look oddly different than the rest of my characters

▪ He's an Lost long old brother to Nick where he never seen him before at all in his Life but only a delusion memory of his mind

▪ His Bandaids wrapped around His left leg is what he used to heal himself by the scars and Wounds when he was younger teenager who either gets himself a lot of trouble by the student bullies during his ChildHood

▪ he became manipulated neither by M.a.l.H.a.r.e where the time he had met up L.u.c.a.s To be a part of their killing spree Criminal Groupster

▪ Roger still acts as a mystery character who never listen or usually have to be told to do something is not right or wrong which his Personality been changed up Soonly as his Killing methods never let anyone capture him or anything like that

▪ another doodles of him with Expression page's I've been testing it recently I might redrew it again hopefully Soon I dunno by any means <3

▪ A close up image so possibly you all can see it/pos

▪ I've thought giving him a vintage looking old rabbit mask could suits him better for a male character y'know so yeah

▪ More Stuff about Eddie/J.U.L.I.E And his suit design likely previous Silly Gremllim Bunny killer who likes to cause Chaos and Troubles around when he came across the Town in Utah alongside B.o.b.b.y (Technically Stella I presume)

▪ I've felt like His Fursuit would look Similar to Actual Homemade Toy Rabbit's that either presented in Early late 9000's to 8000's would fits him a lot better that has Fluffy fur made of Cotten's When you pull it off instead it rips straight almost as if was a real thingy btw

☆

☆

▪ More #2 Expression Page's I've made once again since He deserves much attention/srs

☆

▪ the Voodoo Doll Button eyes supposed to be inspired from Tim Burton's style?? Bc I've wanted to take some inspiration from him it suits them a lot anywho

☆

▪ close up image of the second ones barely i am not really good at doing some fangs but at least I tried istg..

☆

☆

☆

☆

☆

☆

☆

[redamoureux]

hc’s for tricky or deimos madness combat w reader who has insomnia? maybe? i love ur writing btw ur really silly /pos

General Tricky with darling who has insomnia headcanons

• genre: romantic

It was suprisingly peaceful and quiet for awhile. Until suddenly the rocks on the ground tremble and the vibration increases before the ground cracks and jumps out a excited zombie clown with balloons in hand.

"FRIEND!" The clown shouted as he stood, shaking with excitement. He looks at you sleeping form on the couch. "FRIEND?" He exclaimed, this time with confusion.

You didn't reply. That made the clown come closer to you and poke your cheek with his hand a few times. "FRIEND WAKE UP" tricky call out promputing you to eventually woke up and make weary sound before you looked at your clown companion. You greeted him, still feeling dozy. "IS FRIEND FEELING OKAY?" He asked in his usual loud voice, though you can feel the slight worry in his tone.

You told him that you were fine, just really sleepy. But he insisted something is wrong as you kept sleeping irregulary and sometimes even unresponsive to him and that make him worry. So after some time, you finally told him that you have insomnia. At first he was confused on what that meant before you explain briefly that it hit him.

He'll think for a moment then gives you the balloon before he hastily excuse himself and leaves the room through the ground again. Shortly after he came up to you with solution and treatment.

Now when you're feeling like taking a nap during the day, tricky would drag you around and to excercise with him. This way you'd avoid naps and stick to a new proper sleeping schedule that he had made with literal brainstorm. He also gave a few medicines for you drink. You hestitated on drinking it but he assures you that he knows what's he's doing.

With plenty changes on the shedules to fit your ideal and his support, you were able to feel a lot better and your sleeping improved exceptionally. You'd thanked tricky as you gave him small kisses and cuddled with him on his bed. Making tricky giggle, feeling proud for being able to help.

Honestly, it's quiet easy to forget that he was once a literal mad scientist back in the day, but with this problem of yours resolved, makes you recalled a few certain old memories with him.

@redamoureux

[noisyballofvoidmuffin]

I just finished the second season of Good Omens and that was the most heartbreaking thing I've ever watched. That said, I must go on a rant. (/pos)

Ok, unlike the first season, I've had a couple moments where I was feeling second hand stress and had to pause before resuming my watch. Which just means it was very well written, directed, and acted out (!!!), but man 😭

Ok so spoilers ahead from now on. This rant is vaguely structured but mostly chaos bc I'm writing my thoughts as I think them. This is your last warning to avoid spoilers.

Won't check if anyone's still reading bc I'm mostly writing this for myself, so. I'm kind of like Agnes that way. I publish my thoughts just for the free copy of the book.

Anyhow, yes.

The way Aziraphale's behaviour so dramatically changes the moment he's no longer bound by heaven's rules, already seen on the bench scene at the end of season 1 is so??? Goodness, like, it becomes so obvious that Aziraphale had to control himself so many times so as to not get in trouble with heaven.

He lies, doesn't just avoid answering questions like Gabriel did. He tempts people, or perhaps it may be better said that he manages to persuade them very well, but he managed to get everyone to come to the meeting he planned. He bribes some of them, too.

I honestly don't believe any angels are going to fall. Or at least there's no plan for them to be up until now (end of s2). There's no word (in the series) of any Angels falling since the original war. So far at least. Don't think heaven wants any of their angels falling. Aziraphale would've likely fallen twice over if that were the case.

I absolutely dislike Metatron btw. Don't get me wrong, he is doing his job just fine in the narrative, more than such. But somehow during the series I had the feeling that Heaven was a greater evil/threat than Hell ever was and Metatron is just the icing on the cake.

The moment his facial expression dropped before following Aziraphale out of the bookshop just oooooh [seething, subdued adoration for how brilliant that tip off was].

Another thing I immediately had to glare at was when Aziraphale got into the elevator with him and his shoulders dropped. As if he wasn't sure Azi (getting tired of writing out his entire name :')) would get in with him. As if he was unsure.

Also, what's up with all the angels talking about the Great plan? It's not the ineffable plan, they won't call it that, their behaviour sure points towards that. The angels under Gabriel didn't seem to know the answer to Aziraphale's question about whether the two were the same thing. Metatron was much more secure in his wording. I suspect he's not actually acting out on God's will. At least not just that.

Metatron also didn't seem at all surprised at Crowley not taking up the offer to become an Angel again. He didn't react on it at all actually. And again, he said he met him. He said he remembers him and his questions. I presume he's at fault for Crowley's fall.

The angels seem to be so blindly obedient to the Metatron. So trusting.

Yes, a second Prince of Heaven falling would point out the issue in heaven. Even more so than, idk, the fact that an unknown but probably huge amount of Angels fell in the first place.

Talking of which, there was an actively decreasing amount of warrior demons. Where/Why/How was that happening? What were they dying to? If not dying, what were they doing?

Heaven is also rather empty from what it seems. Could be on purpose of course. But, egh. Logistics.

Also, Aziraphale. You lovable DUMBASS. Crowley is the one demon who likely knows best why neither Heaven nor Hell are good sides to be on.

Why did you get on that damned elevator after hearing there would be a second attempt at Armageddon???

Didn't you literally fight to stop the first one??? Okay sure, perhaps it was bc you think you can make a change but come. On.

Onto the acting, because I am not over it. Not at all.

The way the expressions and tones of voice, and the inflection, and just qjfkgkkbmamfvn

If you can't tell that kiss killed me inside. Both before and after.

Perhaps I am heavily biased towards the theories I've read before watching the series but come. ONNNN!!

Back to the series, i have seen someone point out how it seems to be from the pov of Aziraphale, as shown by the diary/journal entries we seen. I won't get too into that, but I do hope we get some of Crowley's perspective of some stuff next season.

Kind of funny how both heaven and hell seem to demand unquestioned obedience from their people. And that neither of their highest in command (God/Satan) are the ones to actually run things.

I've ran out of juice, might continue this rant another time but.. Idk

Feel free to add onto anything I might've mentioned on this. Do keep in mind to keep spoilers under a read more if you do please.

[yuukei-yikes]

Um hiya vinnie,I've liked kagepro since i was like 13 so um do u have any prn hcs for the mekadan? If thats ok 2 ask

FUCK YEAHHH CRACKS KNUCKLES

ayano: she/her but in a deeply transgender way

kido: they/them but also...why not a lil bit of he/him. transmasc kido my beloved...

seto: he/him also in a deeply transgender way.

kano: he/they/it YEAHH WOOO YEAHHHH also transmasc btw if u even care. but i could also transfem ray him he has the range tbh

mary: she/they, doesnt rly care much though. that sonic comic thats like knuckles what are ur pronouns. (saeru: SETO WHAT ARE MARYS PRONOUNS seto: we usually just use she but they dont really care)

momo: she/it, probably a bunch of neos too. the more the better. transfem btw. that whole thing distances her and shintaro even more as kids bc he doesnt understand it very well. meeting ayano helps

takane: they/she/he/it. idk if its bc theyre a favorite or they just have that much gender. canon blue hair and all you know. so nonbinary it makes you look stupid

shintaro: he/him. hes the diversity hire and the only cis person in the dan. ive seen transmasc shintaro hcs and like ofc its awesome but to me it just changes his whole foundation... if a boy, to me he is cis. if trans shintaro...ok hear me out. transfem shin COME ONNN COME ON COME ONNNN C ok yeah that rly self indulgent hc aside, cis 💔 also has a hard time understanding...everyone else. when finding out ayano is trans his brain breaks. he especially cant understand the nonbinaries hes like JUST PICK ONE !!! sry cis shintaro is so funny he keeps wanting to act like a victim for it (confusion and self hatred shed feel in a transfem hc...oughoigh ok sorry ill move on)(puts down the stress ball with shintaro face printed on it)

hibiya: HE/HIM BABY TRANS💗💗💗 gets his first binder from the dan as a gift. kido teaches him to put it on. weehhh wehhhhh sniff sniff but also transfem egg hibiya would be so awesum too😳 both are good. but he is so deeply transgender either way

haruka: he/she. demiboy or demigirl whichever but so epic and genderfluid :) when he is a girl and she is a boy

konoha: it/its cuz unauthorized fucking thing /pos /pos /pos but when it was around, the dan used he/him sort of in the same way they use she for mary lol (kido: indicative but not exclusive to your gender identity. konoha: stop swearing at me)

hiyori: she/her, transfem. no one knows. knew she was a girl since like 0 seconds old. in my sick twisted mind the way hibiya and hiyori become friends in a route like the novels for example, where they didnt rly speak much before their trip together is cuz hiyori finds out hibiya is trans and decides he HAS to be her friend but doesnt Actually tell him that she's trans. probably only tells him after meeting the dan bc thats the whole lgbt community so she's like damn okay

[cyarsk52-20]

I wouldn't be mad if Megan came out with a song that called out every person in the industry by name who shitted on her during that trial… lyrically destroy them! The fact that there are still people defending him disgusts me. I’ll never understand this obsession with wanting assault victims to be liars. i will get back to my rant in a moment but i need to say that i always want the world to burn and pay for their crimes for their mistreatment of black women.

it’s not just meg. Rihanna, Kelis, Tina Turner, Ashanti, Keke Palmer, Dee Barnes, Michel'le, & so many other Black women were done wrong

Aaliyah never really came forward. But when the news broke that she was illegally married to R. Kelly she was shamed as if she wasn’t a victim. You can literally look up what happened during that time. Her industry peers was still working with him & didn’t give a damn.

Robin Givens was framed as a “gold digger” & was victim blamed after Mike Tyson abused. The Black community was terrible to her. Despite Mike Tyson saying in his book that punching Robin Givens “was the best punch I've ever thrown in my entire life.”…

People were nasty as hell to K Michelle when she accused Memphitz of abusing her. Only for him to later admit that he actually abused her. I can’t recall anyone who dogged her out in his defense recanting or even apologizing for the harm they brought to her.

Biggie used to abuse tf out of Lil Kim & instead of people acknowledging what happened to her they just rush to talk about her plastic surgeries (as a result of abuse btw)

Karruche, Tyra Banks , Kimora Lee Simmons , Tisha Campbell etc. all lost jobs and opportunities for speaking up

The police leaked Rihanna’s nude pictures from her phone. Nas & Dr Dre are still pillars in the community. People made fun of Keke hiding from Trey. The women of love & hip hop basically told K. Michelle she was lying. Like come the tf on. Society doesn’t care about victims especially if they are black.

if you support a nasty person who hates bw and intentionally harms them and abusers, then you’re dead to me and you can go to hell you abuser and anti bw slut!

Now back to that Canadian pos.

It’s the way he’s gone out of his way so many times to avoid accountability and paint him as innocent it’s disgusting. The narcissism. The sociopathy. The way he played the victim

Overall, Tory’s ego is why he is in the predicament that he’s in. Not because of him shooting a woman (a problem in itself). Had he owned up to what he did & took a plea deal, he would’ve been better off. He would have never had to face two decades of prison and deportation, just a couple of years in jail and that’ would be it.

& We all know folks love an abuser redemption arc. I just see it now “he took accountability for what he did” “he changed” “he’s showing growth”.. So folks would’ve ate that up! 🙃🙃 like you can’t redeem those who haven’t genuinely repented

God really blessed him with the worst team/lawyers possible. Still remember his lawyer acting a fool. “Y’all come back with a not guilty verdict yet?” He really thought social media was the judge and jury 🤣😂🤣😂

He thought the fact other misogynists and abusers were loudly backing him meant he would've gotten off. Womp womp!

she more of a real nigga than him. she was just gone let that shit ride but he started talking shit. He should have been grateful that she didn’t turn his dusty behind to the cops at the crime scene at first, she was gonna let him off the hook and was willing to let the whole situation go as well? She was being extremely gracious but he chose clownery, he still decided to run his mouth & drag her on the internet now he’s jailed. It’s what he deserves.

the fact that she literally tried to protect him from the police at first despite what he did to her. she was literally willing to let it go and try to move on, HE dragged it and was in the blogs calling her a liar.

Literally or just not say anything if no one else was saying anything he decided to drag it a be corny

if a mf show you mercy, just take that lesson and keep it pushing. At the very least be grateful. Most people would have turned that person who shot them that same night and called the cops. When people grace you you better not take it for granted.

I swear people be getting too big for they britches and think fat meat ain’t greasy.

i say this all the time not once did he show a ounce of empathy or even keep quiet , he was antagonizing her for a whole 2 years straight being the ring leader having ppl encourage his disgusting behavior, Literally all he has to blame is his ego. Megan had no initial intention of cooperating with the state/cops or outing him as the shooter. He could have gotten away with this if he wasn't such an egotistical, opportunistic, entitled, sociopathic, narcissistic, misogynist prick. so now he’ll have plenty of time to think about his actions and I hope they deport that leprechaun with the quickness 🫶🏾 .

It’s definitely his fault and I’m glad to see him burn.

[brick-a-doodle-do]

Hmmmmmmmmm

Irza definitely has a temper but he also has the "I really don't care" behavior. If he caught Vara he probably wouldn't hurt the cat, he'd be more confused bc fairies exist in that world but fairies are actually treated horribly and used in potions.....he'd wonder why a wingless fairy (which isn't too strange since some will just have wings taken and then be tossed aside...) has cat features and is even in his house. But that's it the borrower was actually living in his house.—There's also the chance he finds the borrower outside, which would mainly end with him staring and walking away unless an accident got Vara into a pocket or bag...

And if he was caught? Irza wouldn't touch it, he'd use his shadows and just trap their legs in place. Then you'd have to get through his questioning bc there's no way he wouldn't be suspicious of a tiny person in his house

Some thoughts I had for aus would mainly be Irza as the giant bc yes...and I'd make several different ones, I love first meetings and I can't decide which one is better so I'll use em all. Vara would be the gentlest giant but he'd get his hands really chewed on by Irza, that guy won't change at all! The ideas go from doing crossovers to my fairy story, borrower, and even just someone shrinking them. There's so many powers in their world, who's to say someone can't change the sizes of things?

And I didn't even realize the nom compatible thing with Irza until recently

Vara finding tiny little villain Voidshire instead of a fight and having to argue with himself over whether to turn him in or help him...btw tho bc of Vara's mixed races he has huge cat instincts so that would be possible for like mouthplay but probably not anything more, you just gotta be careful bc he reacts to everyone like that...but he's so nice he catches bugs and mice and releases every one outside. Irzayn hates mice bc of them eating his homework the one time (which was just a really funny canon thing), but this also means if he doesn't see that the borrower is humanoid he could very well kill them by impulse

Song that fits Vara: Luke Bryan—Most people are good

We all love the sweet Varazae cat

And if that's what you think~~ Ezephr would say thank for mwahahaha (there is such a deep reason that mixes all of the above into that answer bc he'd be smiling while being killed and thanking his killer)

okay okay you got me to read it and of course now i have to answer

whaa fairies exist?? elaborate?? what purpose do they serve??? also in and case i love that they do bc i can imagine vara being pretty lost if irza ever addresses his confusion- (as a borrower, would vara know about fairies?)

OOO tinies falling into bags is the BESTTTTT (btw becky if you see this, you somehow always manage to stroll right down my alley every single time with your fics!!! how do you do that?? it's so cool >:DDD or. new theory. you writing the fics makes the trope automatically top tier because you wrote it :00)

AHHHH i loveeeeee the shadow thing oh my GOD that would be so confusing for vara and AJJFSAJSDJ ksdkasdasdasdsads multiple hands in g/t is rarely touched but i think it's pretty cool- i mean i know it's not directly irza's hands but STILL that concept is just /pos to me :D

ah yes the good ol' interrogating a terrified borrower :D <3

yesss g!irza >:3c

AHHH these ideas are all so lovely and LMAO for irza eating vara's fingers AJVDS i bet he'd try and get vara's claws to use for personal use like a new and improved hook JDSJ (the only thing on my mind when i type that is the line from 30 rock "gimmie your fingernails!" "no!" LMAOAOO)

i like the lane of someone having sizeshifting powers. maybe some person is tired of their hero/villain bickering and just shrink one of them to force them to stop and focus on something else FDLDSJAJA

aw everyone just finds all the right g/t buttons for me- fucking tinies helping their human? FUCK YEAH!!!

LMAO they ate his homework??? 😭😭 that is genuinely the best thing i have heard about this au ever- it's the useless bit of canon that makes my brain go brrrrrr like that thing with curiositybur will never fail to make me happy. the fact that serenityinnit just walks around staring at the world like he's never seen it before (which he hasn't) is FUNNY and USELESS but the BEST

ooooooo vara's gotta run off of reflexes then, let's hope he survives!

OO that's a cool song! usually country isn't my jam (is that considered country?) but that is an exception fs!

yesyesyeys beloved catboy

and hmhmhhmhmmhmhmmhhmmhm love him smiling, i strive to be ezephr when i'm being killed :D

[littlefankingdom]

I don't really think that a man who has accumulated riches over multiple centuries, killed anyone who has been against him, is the boss to an organization he planned to give to his daughter's husband, than changed his mind for his grandchild, has barely done anything with the money and power he has to make the lives of others better, tortures people and broke the human rights so many time he himself cannot remember, can make any criticism on capitalist. Like, you kind of are a capitalist, you were just born before it existed, but you fit right in.

Also, Bruce is a rich CEO and the heir to a fortune (just like Damian, and Talia... being the leader of the League of Assassins is kind of like being a CEO), but he has done more things for the people than Ra's Al Ghul. Canonically, and even in Boy Wonder, Ra HATES humans, so he doesn't want to help them at all, whoever they are. Bruce, in the contrary, loves humans. He loves them, that's why he has compassion even for the worst criminals. But you know that he hates? Capitalist dogs. He hates rich people who do whatever they want, don't help out and abuse the system. In Future State: Dark Detective, he talks about how he hates rich people who don't pay their taxes, and abuse their power, and how one of them being killed by a VIGILANTE (he doesn't say "criminal", he says "vigilante", which means you are not a criminal for killing a capitalist dog to him) makes sense because, they are pos. In White Knight, he punched in the face his friend at a gala when he learns that he has been buying properties in Park Row and gentrifying them, which makes people homeless. In No Man's Land, he is disgusted by other rich people at Monaco and let himself be beat up by random thugs because he hates himself for being one of these rich people (Talia is the one to come heal him, btw). He then goes back to Gotham and does everything he can to help its population (and like, the people who stayed are all people too poor to leave). In Batman: The Animated Series, when Mr Freeze is introduced, it is explicit that the real bad guy is the CEO of the company he worked for. Like, he is presented as evil for not giving more power on the company to his employees. Bruce disagrees with Freeze's methods (the murder), but he sides with him otherwise. Actually, in this series, capitalist rich assholes are often the "real" bad guys behind the rogues, but they are more difficult to take out because money=power. That',s when Batman's detective works come in, to be able to put these people in jail. (If BTAS was published today, people would say "they made Batman a communist!") He hates interracting with other rich folks at galas, and in Nightwing (2016), he literally says that they manipulate them to give their money, he only sees rich people as a piggy bank to help the people. Also, in general, let's not forget that one of Bruce's enemies are The Court Of Owl, the Elite who think they should be in control of everything.

And also, Bruce doesn’t give a fuck about making money or the economy. To be a capitalist dog, he would need to. He only keeps WE because he sees it as his parents' legacy and he feels like he would disappoint them if it let it go, but also because he knows the system is broken, so he needs that stuff to help people. (and he cannot change the system on his own???)

Bruce was never a "see, capitalism is good, rich people are nice" character, he always was a "rich people suck and he is an exception. Money doesn't buy a heart" character.

I'm sorry, I'm just pissed at DC forgetting who Bruce really is because they want to be relatable. He is not a capitalist dog, he doesn't like capitalism, he hates capitalism.

...a capitalist dog...

[eligalilei]

More Extensive Redditversations on Psychtogenesis:

Person A:

Truthfully, APs are really only effective in treating hallucinations. They don’t treat much else. No pill is going to stop you from holding a fixed false belief in the face of all contrary evidence.

My psychiatrist won’t even prescribe APs if you don’t hallucinate. Maybe a low dose of seroquel Person B:

Idk about that, maybe to some degree but I was out here thinking skin walkers were real, in an alternate reality, while they showed up as anything here, there they looked like shadow creatures that took control of people’s bodies. I was the prophet of that reality who couldn’t be touched by them, while I could telepathically speak with anyone and any living organism. Including god, zeus, animals, etc.

It wasn’t until I was on my way to my PO’s office, I was talking to all of them, but specifically one, he was the devil, I was Jesus, came to an agreement to work together, only for me to betray him by speaking with the others and discovering we were just schizophrenics that need meds, and as the realization came, all the people in my head left, leaving just me and “the devil”, who turned out to be my brother. Then it was a matter of getting him help, him being a long term user of fentanyl and others, was in rehab. He didn’t want to get help, we were in a shared psychosis. Only to finally discover after several weeks of investigating when it was only him and I in my head, that it was actually me who was the voice in my head, and it had begun to just say what I was already thinking but before I would. Eventually getting to the point where it just makes comments about what’s going on, sometimes it’s nice other times it’s an asshole, all depends.

Without the meds though I don’t think my beliefs would have changed, or that any of the revelations would have come. I easily could have been the guy sitting on a corner talking to myself for days, but thanks to the meds, I’m back to pretty much how I was. No more delusions, and I’m back in this reality. Able to decipher what’s real and what’s not, it’s nice.

If I stop taking them though, would I create another alternate reality for myself? Fixed beliefs, that I can’t change on my own? Me: That's a delusional complex with hallucinatory elements. They're talking about delusion by itself, which maybe APs will help somewhat, but basically only at the point where thought has been eliminated. Person B:

I like that explanation. I don’t understand the last sentence in the sense of, do you mean all thoughts are eliminated, or certain thoughts in particular.

I have thoughts that are almost impulsively thought that are delusional, but am able to blow the thought off as quickly as it came. When I was delusional, all those thoughts were put on the table as a possibility.

Would it be the meds that are helping me block the delusions, or is it me just becoming better at differentiating? Genuine question btw, you seem nice and knowledgeable.

extra banter I’ve only been back to “normal” for a few months and don’t know anything about SZA other than there’s delusions, hallucinations are involved (sometimes?), and my psychiatrist thinks I have it (although hasn’t diagnosed). I guess there’s a sort of test or something that they perform to determine if you have it or not? Idk.

extra extra banter Never really talked to anyone about it, was just forced to take meds(if I didn’t take them they brought a needle out and it was either I was going to take them or I was getting it injected forcibly lol)

Any insight would be nice when you’ve got the time and if you’d like to give some, I’d like to learn more about it rather than just the the things I mentioned above. I’d really like to stop meds because of side effects, but am worried I’d slip back into a psychosis. Me:

I was being cynical, tbh, and suggesting that, and experiences tend to bear this out, neuroleptics work by reducing thoughts... which is kind of true, but it's both the same and different as another way in which AP action is explained: via the dampening of one's experience of, and procedure for assigning, valence. What this means, basically, is that they make things seem less significant or urgent. This fits with your experience of having odd thoughts, but being able to dismiss them.

One way to fit these two ideas together, is to consider how 'valence', or significance ('salience' is another word that's often used), operates on conscious and unconscious levels. The suppression of conscious valence is experienced as having a, possibly 'psychotic', thought, and just not investigating it or investing in it to produce a series of spinoffs and sequels, as might happen in psychosis.

But valence/significance/importance/energy/salience is a property of, or at least is a concept which can be expanded upon and used to describe by analogy, all manner of mental phenomena. There's presumably a constant murmur of unconscious 'maybe' thoughts clamoring for the ear of the conscious mind, which is itself not fully situated in it (Freud call this domain the 'preconscious', and others have called it 'subconscious' in contrast with the 'unconscious.' In other contexts it is referred to as or related to the function of the 'censor', which selects and edits information on its way to the conscious/ego). The greater the volume of any of these unconscious voices, and/or the more 'interested' the conscious mind is, the more likely it becomes that it produces, or is encoded in, a thought that is experienced.

Of course, what occurs in the domain of consciousness is fed back into the unconscious, and is amplified and split into more more murmurs, which may or may not make their way into awareness. We could think about psychosis as a runaway feedback loop rapidly accelerating and expanding in content due to the volume and quantity of unconscious murmurs-become-shouts, the relaxed indiscretion of the preconscious censor (that usually rejects or suppresses potentially problematic tangents), to whom everything suddenly feels important, and the excitation of the conscious ego under the sway of this rapidly proceeding tempest of exciting mental happenings.

On some level, at least in some kinds of psychosis, what we're experiencing is a very unstable and disordered excitement due to everything seeming just so damn important or significant. And if something feels significant (though actually for no good reason besides brain stuff), other parts of the brain will run off and figure out 'why' it is significant, based on nothing but the all-too-enthusiastic assumption that it is.

Instead of evaluating phenomena, and the assignation of importance being largely under the power of the conscious or processes with which consciousness and society are largely comfortable, it's like importance sneaks in at an odd intermediary step, and things, due to one's being complacently accustomed to shit making sense, start to run backwards in an attempt to maintain a feeling of coherence.

Seen thusly, the delusions, or rather the rejection of, or failure to attain, 'insight', are, in fact, a way to maintain sanity: the fundamental delusion underpinning all particular delusions is the idea that the mind (or in traumagenic psychoses, the world) is still working correctly. This is why the 'insight criterion' (of delusion, or, for some people, psychosis itself, though I see that as being a bit heavy handed) developed: it's only a delusion if you believe it. That is, in fact, only part of the picture, the entirety of which you might be able to guess from here, and that I won't begin to render, since this is already getting a bit long, and I may still have to add more without even going on that tangent.

There are tons of more biochemically oriented theories of antipsychotic action, though none of them are really very totally confirmed. Most of them, though, relate to a reduction of some kind of activity, and comport pretty well with the ideas in the above sketch. While this is kind of my own spin, the general idea is referred to in psychology as the 'aberrant salience' theory of psychosis.

As far as what's happening in your mind goes, I think we can look at it both ways and a sort of third halfway one based on the above (we can call one the 'unconscious' understanding of cause, one the 'conscious learning' model, and the third a kind of 'cybernetic' or 'pseduo-psychoanalytic one):

Salience is being suppressed on multiple levels, which leads to fewer and less intense thoughts,

and now, knowing that you've been through psychosis, you no longer uncautiously receive the phenomena issuing from your unconscious mind with open arms and a set of keys to your car.

In a sort of hybrid of the two, we might say that decreased salience allows you to re-establish a 'normal' relationship between conscious and unconscious mind by reinstalling brakes on the feed-forward process of salience-driven, backwardsly-working, enthusiasm which uncritically meets the demands for extraordinary causes made by your extraordinary feelings. As salience ceases to be injected in large doses at an 'unnatural' stage of thought production (or noögenesis; isn't that a cool word?), though the thoughts you once thunk remain, they become compared with those constructed under 'normal' conditions, and may eventually be seen as the grotesqueries they may be.

That said, once a thought has been established as true, a drug is not going to make you not believe it, especially if it's one that has become especially important to you. They aren't going to just make you think different things. I am of the unpopular conviction that another person can often stand in for one's own ego in the journey back to sanity. ....but if you're seeing fucking dragons all the fuck over and feel like your limbs are about to fall off? Well, uh, it's just kind of hard to argue with that. Probably maybe take a pill and see if you'll make better decisions when not besieged by a menagerie of mythical monsters.

So, I mean, I was being a little overcynical about APs not helping delusions. They can re-establish a neurological environment that can make it easier for you to soberly reflect on them, and they can prevent the production of new ones, but often at the cost of mostly just getting rid of everything interesting in your brain. Sometimes that's a cost worth paying, or it need only be a temporary sacrifice.

Plus, therapy and hand-holding is financially and emotionally expensive. Pills and padded rooms are cheap low maintenance 'solutions' to the problem, though they only sometimes succeed in so being. Pills do have a place, plus, they may sometimes prevent the further propagation of actually toxic pathological perniciousness, though that hasn't been established to be universally true. In my (actually only somewhat) humble opinion, one of the best ways to establish whether this is true in any given case, is that of determining whether the pills seem to be necessary, and whether you actually feel better taking them. Some do, and some don't, find either or both true.

There's still more I could say on the last point, but I'm trying not to pontificate excessively, and this has already become rather an epistle. If you want more such nonsense, feel free to ask.

[neevblanc]

(this was all a tiktok DM convo I had with my friend 😭)

tiktok that started this ➡️ https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8h6CU21/

(bkdk angst after the cut <3 it’s not formatted at all and messy cuz…dms…)

I’m going to disintegrate and die!!!/pos

I HATE playing with this concept.

Because it’s too goddamn realistic.

The fact that they are queer men has irreversibly changed their dynamic. Them being two men makes things so different and so much more complicated.

And I think it’s one of the reasons why I hate hate HATE gender bending for no reason other than “I felt like it.”

Because it takes away so much nuance. It WOULD be easier if one of them was a girl.

Bakugou would have noticed how pretty Izuku’s eyes and freckles were just a little earlier, with less of an ache in his chest. Izuku would have noticed just how /cute/ the scrunch in Katsuki’s nose when she got mad, and wouldn’t have had to deal with the overwhelming feeling of a monster gnawing at his stomach afterward.

Their is so much GUILT and almost shame intertwined in their dynamic and it makes it so important.

ITS SO IMPORTANT!!!! That trend where it’s like, “X would be fine with loving a boy if it weren’t B, and B would be fine with loving A if it wasn’t a boy.” But I think the first one applies to them much more.

it takes away so much of the complexity of their dynamic. Of having to fight past not just their past but then having to face the fear in themselves and knowing that they could very well lose family and friends over who they loved.

Despite the fact that it had always been just them, just those two. Just Kacchan and Deku.

One simple little factor of being queer and suddenly everything feels…dirtier. Holding hands is not childish anymore. Pressing together while talking isn’t the same as it was when they were 5 and huddled together under Kacchan’s dining table.

Now it has more meaning— less because they are older, and more because they are boys (not men. Never men).

So when Izuku admits to Ochako one night, under the cover of darkness and the few stars that were bright enough to break through the city smog — “Kacchan…is everything. He always has been.” — it hurts. It hurts more than he wants it too, more than he cares to admit

Ochako's eyes narrow, and he’s afraid, if only for a moment. But she puts a hand on his back, soothing.

“I know, Deku.”

And he can’t help the way his eyes well with tears, and he is filled with a shame greater than any god sent to cast him away from man.

Ochako can only watch her friend crumble and ponder how cruel it was to love so deeply and know you will never be free of the shame that comes with it. Izuku is a crier, but then, sitting next to her, he cries like a little kid. It jostles his body with tremors and leaves him breathless.

She wishes for a moment that one of them was a girl, if not only to save him from the pain that pours out of every fiber of his being.

She takes it back when the sobs become choked, Midoriya struggling to breathe. She guides him through the exercises they were taught for first aid diligently, and with his scarred palm pressed against her chest she takes it back. Because she knows when this over, when he can breathe properly and stand on his own, he will wipe his puffy eyes, hug her goodnight, and still love Katsuki with his whole being.

The boy in front of her will mourn, never knowing the lightness that comes with love but will choose to love anyway. He will choose him, time and time again, over the safety that so many others feel when they fall in love.

She can only hope they will be proven wrong one day. That they will love and feel none of the shame that had been taught. Midoriya will no longer feel guilt over never giving his mother someone to pass her old wedding dress down to, and Bakugou will not retreat into himself when he feels his body relax at the first contact between his and Midoriya’s hands.

In the meantime, she helps Izuku onto his feet and up to his dorm, even though hers is two floors down and on the opposite side. He hugs her goodnight, body pliant when she pushes him into bed and leaves him to sleep off the migraine he had most certainly developed.

When she succumbs to sleep in her own bed, she will let go of his shame and leave him to bear it on his own once again, and Ochako will have to live with the fact that she will never be able to take it from either of them no matter how much she wanted to.

She will resign herself to watching them love in secret and in pain. and deal with her own shame, for not being able to save them. When their friends tease the boys she will laugh and remind them gently that they’ve always been like that, even before UA. And though they are surrounded by gentle smiles and teasing laughter, she and a select few will know they are wallowing in an amount of shame none of them could ever truly fathom.

Because they were both boys. What a cruel fate.

note —

This is all to say I don’t hate genderbends completely. They’re for fun, just like any other AU. It just feels like sometimes it’s used as a bit of an easy solution for so much of the tension between bkdk.

or maybe im dumb. that too. :p

regardless, i cant ever escape the bkdk angst that runs through my veins ¯_(ツ)_/¯ (snuck in bestfriend!ochako cuz she is important to me regardless of whether or not she's connected to these two lol) (this also sorta ignores the universes where the MHA/BNHA timeline has kind of mostly moved past homophobia in the way we are used to seeing IRL.)

okok im done with notes BYEEEEE <3333

[gogolstoelicker]

Can i have idia and vil with Marin Kitagawa!mc (romantic pls)

Vil & Idia with Marin!S/o

note: the anime's protag is so ugly and bland istg💀can they give a protag that's as pretty as the love interest and is more interesting or smth💀

You're extravagant, messy, and while quite mature, you're also clumsy. You're notably very kind, friendly, cheerful, and outgoing.

You're also a procrastinator, having a habit of neglecting your studies to watch anime instead.

Vil:

idk how yall got together but here we are

enemies to lovers fr⁉️⁉️

i mean u hate people who's overly critical of others and vil is exactly that💀

well he's a changed man now (kinda) so we're seeing some changes with the both of your relationship alright‼️

he's kind of smug abt ur relationship honestly

bc two beautiful people are together🙄bless ur eyes

you're both popular too so like🤔

do not worry‼️vil does not get jealous often‼️

he trusts that u won't be swoon so easily by someone else‼️

but he gets daily headaches with u

he tells u to study or do ur homeworks everyday while you're just lazing around watching anime

one time he took ur phone away and made u study so u won't fall behind

it's ok u got small kisses from him all over ur face as compensation

i headcanon vil as the type to leave small kisses all over his lover's face btw, would u like to hear more?

he's more than happy to do ur makeup whenever u cosplay a character

just show him the photo and he'll pull out everything he needs and shape u up to perfection for ur cosplay‼️

got this pride in him for making u look like a literal goddess everytime

on any normal days, he'll be more than happy to do ur makeup

straight up storming to ur dorm to wake u up and tells u to get ready so he can do ur makeup (and so u won't be late) (or before he gets busier honestly)

vil literally:

rook made it his daily mission to take photos of u two together and putting it in an album to show the both of u

vil took the album btw, its his now

Idia:

the better gojo🤞‼️ i said what i said

you're both otakus so like

not surprised y'all even dated🤔

probably go to those cosplay events together

idia is forever questioning ur relationship /hj /pos

like mumbling to himself in the mirror and going "how the hell did i get myself an amazing lover like that" etc

ortho snitched to u btw

cue idia drowning himself in games and snacks

u guys also have daily gaming sessions‼️

sometimes u beat his ass, sometimes he beats urs‼️

with ortho cheering the both of u on at the back

ortho cheerleader era

u guys even have an anime marathon on weekends

on weekdays however? its idia's ipad and u day /j

mostly bc you're outgoing and he just stayed holed up in his room all day

sometimes u dragged him out with the help of ortho

ofc to a place where there's no people bc idia would surely do some 180 and start dragging y'all back to the dorm

while be does trust you, he feels quite insecure about your popularity

like HIM??? HE is dating YOU??? how did he manage and how in the hell did he even pull someone like you???

its up to u to reassure him everyday‼️

and he probably told u to get to work

he's no procrastinator do not worry💪‼️he would be more than happy to give u gentle reminders everyday

or by betting with u

sometimes u get the "hey uh shouldn't u do ur homeworks?",sometimes its the "if i win the game, u gotta do ur homework"

well both method works so like🤷‍♀

honestly??? best couple so like