#/meanwhile

[song-linked-from-nine-verses]

First Big Gig, pt (unknown)

Wild doesn't realize that his breathing stops being even, as the crowd engulfs any tiny sound that his body is making. Even then, he tries to keep his body together, and twists his face, keeping it neutral. His stomach seems to churn uncontrollably, like one of those kneading machines he uses for making bread. But Wild was so sure he did not eat anything strange today. Maybe he did. He can't remember.

He thinks his heart is pounding way faster than it should, but the pounding of the massive speakers is making him question whether or not his brain made it up.

His brain is partly in protest, but luckily, for some reason Wild keeps walking forward. The room is so crowded and warm that Wild is sweating profusely. His knuckles turn white as he grips the trolley, but the AC makes his hand so cold that he's slowly losing his grip. A part of Wild wants to go back.

"Nervous?" Warriors asks both of them, though it's super hard to parse what he says. 

Wild couldn't even move enough to nod. He can only think, and his thoughts only have "stop, no, go back". His vocal chords, on the other hand, seem to have been stuck, but he didn't have to answer, as Warriors can't even hear what Four said through the massive echoes of the sea of people. 

"Let's show the other idiots what we're made of!" Warriors proudly says, and Wild tries his hardest to crack the widest smile.

Next thing he knows, the blinding lights are shining on him. He can't see anything but blobs, but that's okay, his hands are still playing. He can't ruin their first big gig like this. He just can't. Warriors have been waiting for this day since he met them.

He normally looks over to Four and Warriors, to wink at them to signal an improv, or do a little funny on the side, but if he looks anywhere but his guitar the world seems to just ever so slightly tilt. His hands start to slide off the strings, surely no one heard that he accidentally missed a few notes?

His stomach, on the other hand, is actively betraying him. It hurts so bad, a nagging, throbbing pain. But, that's okay, he just needs to focus on playing. He just needs to focus. He can't see anything but flashing colors. His head feels so light. He needs to focus. Focus. Focus. That is a lie. He can't focus.

— —-

"Missed?" Wind suddenly says.

"Hmm?"

"Their guitarist. He missed a beat." 

"No shit Sherlock, they play math rock. Of course it's going to 'miss a beat'. But yes, I notice the guy is playing worse and worse." Legend says. 

"I know yall guys don't like this type of music so...If you want to leave we can-"

"No! It's not that" Wind cuts Twilight off. "I mean, even for their music, their guitarist misses a beat. Multiple times!"

"There's a sudden… shakiness, that I can't put a finger on." Legend adds.

Now that he mentions it, Twilight notices that their guitarist isn't standing straight. "What do you make of it? Should we be worried?"

"Could be stress or stage fright? Who knows, it's their first time in front of such a large crowd. I was exactly the same."

Wind throws his hand. "So you DID lie that day!" 

Legend pretends he didn't say anything. "All I'm saying is, unless their guitarist collapses, it's nothing to worry about."

And just as he finished that sentence, a loud, distorted sound played and a massive THUD on the ground followed. 

Their guitarist actually collapses.

— — 

It took a while, but the moment Wild starts stirring on the equipment box, Warriors immediately rushes to him.

"Wild?" Warriors asks, and pulls his hair out to check his temperature again. At least he doesn't have a fever.

The guy tries to turn but Warriors holds him back before he falls off. "uummmmm….wh..where…"

"Don't worry, we're backstage. How are you feeling?" 

One of the staff backstage walks over and hands Warriors a bottle of water.  "Is he doing well?"

Warriors shrugged. "But, thank you for your concern… erm.."

"Impa."

"Oh, I also know an Impa. Thank you, Miss Impa. I will look for you if anything comes up."

As Impa walks away, Wild jolts upright. "The Concert!," he says, but quickly flinches then curls into a ball. "owwwww… no, no, no it's all my fault… Did they make us leave? Where is Four?"

"Hey, I told you not to worry!" Warriors pats Wild's back. The kid is soaked in sweat, and he is shaking. There's a slight hiccup, as if he's holding back a sob. He pulls down his scarf, making sure that Wild is seeing him smile. "No one is at fault, you hear me?"

"...you said you'd be so mad if anything goes wrong…"

Warriors' eyes widen. "Oh no, if I accidentally made you feel bad, I am so sorry."

A long sniff and tears start streaming from Wild's face. Warriors is not good with crying faces, so he just awkwardly opens the water bottle and hands it to Wild. He accepts, and starts inhaling it like a thirsty elephant.

"Eyes, Wars. So many. And I tried to ignore them, but then everything turned into blinding, staring lights, and-"

"Hey, if anything, I'd be more mad if something wrong happens to my friends. Besides, they haven't kicked us out, and Four is still out there.". 

The room echoes and next thing you know it, Four starts jamming the worst infamous grooves known to man. 

Man he is brave.

Wild lets out a chuckle. As the crowd boos, and Four keeps playing, the chuckle turns into a loud cackle.

The cackle quickly turns into a grimace as Wild suddenly pulls himself into a ball, gripping his abdomen. "I don't know what's worse, the pain or whatever Four is doing outside."

Warriors pats Wild's back. "I'll ask the staff if they have anything." Warriors says, but before he can stand, someone throws him a faux-fur bag.

"Oh, he's dead! " The Vet says once he has a good look at Wild, muffled by his face covering. 

"There's advil in there. And ibuprofen." Rancher gestures at the bag.

"And, I never asked you guys to be here." Warriors pulls up his scarf to cover his face, and throws the bag back at the Veteran. "Why are you guys here? If you want to mock us, I hope we can go outside so I can punch you properly."

"Wouldn't want to make a scene, too crowded out there." Their drummer says, as he stuffs the bag back into Warriors' hands. "If I wanted to mock, I would wait until you guys start playing."

"Alright, partner, not too far." Rancher says, as he pats the Vet's back. 

Warriors rolls his eyes, but makes no effort to return the bag. He sits back down next to Wild. 

"If it's a stomachache, and he really has no idea why, then it could just be stress. In which case he'll be fine in a few minutes." The Vet says, shooting a look at Wild. "Or hours. Depends on whether your guitarist wants to get back out on stage."

Sailor also jumps on the equipment box, putting himself right next to Wild. "It's okay to feel frightened, you know. And if you're not ready, it's okay to say so."

Man, these guys are way too wholesome than what I give them credit for, Warriors mumbles.

Wild stares at the Vet, then he turns his gaze back at Warriors. It's a "I don't want to do this, but what about you" kind of look.

"I still want to go back out there…" Warriors says, so Wild straightens himself, and starts to stand up. Warriors holds him back down. "But-"

"I can fill the empty spot if you want? Do you have the sheets?" The Vet asks.

"Why not the little guy over there? Also, I thought you hated our music? Can you even play guitar?" Warriors raises a brow, but the Vet just shrugs in response.

"I can play Never Meant." Legend shrugs. "Or that song by Tricot that you guys play. Just need the sheets. And don't do anything too weird."

"Well, then, Wi- I mean, Champ, can he borrow the sheets? Or, do you still want to play? Either option is fine."

— — 

"I should have used our guitar instead, this one is so greasy." The Vet says, then he seems to be throwing a friendly insult towards Wars and Four, but it was too far that Wild can't really make out what he said.

"Ready?"

"Woo!"

The moment he starts playing, Wild's eyes widen. 

"But for someone who has never listened to these songs…" Wild accidentally said his thoughts out loud.

"Impressive, right?" Rancher says as he walks up to Wild. He never stood so close to any of the band members, and Wild notices that his mask has hand sewn words in the Twili language. "We call him the Vet for a reason."

"To be fair, he actually hate-listens to you guys." Sailor chimes in. "Wait, don't tell anyone about that."

Wild spits a laugh. "Why does he hate-listen to our band?"

"He likes how your cymbals sound."

"Oh, thank you. Our drummer made them himself." Wild proudly says.

"Woah, cool!" Sailor exclaims, then he starts cackling. "OHHH! Smith! Cymbalsmith!"

"Mhm! Well then, if he ever needs any-" Wild was about to pull out his phone, but then remembers that he gave it to the Vet for music sheets. "Okay, I'll read out a number, and tell him if he needs cymbals just give us a call. If he wants, he can have some for free as well."

"I doubt he'd use cymbals made from the enemy band, however." Rancher says. 

"His grandpa runs it, so if we're talking technicality, it's not from 'the enemy band'."

"Thank you." 

"No, thank you. The meds help a lot."

[victusinveritas]

Dogs have had many jobs throughout history, in this case: Revenge.

[meltygetswifi]

not to be a dirty commie or anything but i don't think any one person should have enough money to solve world hunger and then get to decide not to

[gongyussy]

good thing from jp twitter this week is queen of old man yaoi michiru sonoo discovering the term old man yaoi

update: somehow it got impossibly more wholesome

quick translation: おかえり: welcome home あ 終わった 終わった: ahhh, it's over! it's done! コーヒー? お茶?: coffee? tea? コ~ヒ~ ありがと: coffee, thank you~ ネクタイレア★★ ネクタイ取るレア★★★★: seeing him with a tie on, rarity level ★★, seeing him take a tie off, rarity level ★★★★ にあうな~: it suits him~

also please do follow: AraigumaSha: sensei's twitter account marureviere: maru, who does such valuable work highlighting bl manga for an international audience

[mioakem]

bro gay ppl cannot break up normally

[boasamishipper]

unpopular opinion but i think a ship that's not canon but both halves are canonically insane about each other is infinitely better than a ship that's canon and boring

[cleolinda]

“What do you mean the tower is gone? Are you sure you’re in the right place? I actually used more colorful words than that,” Brett Elmore recounted to NBC News. “He said there’s wires all over the ground and the tower is gone.”

[ciderjacks]

What ppl don’t understand about Kabru (of Utaya) is that his natural state is not bitter hater. That’s Chilchuck. Kabru is only a bitter hater around Laios bc Laios has a unique talent for pissing other autistic ppl off. Kabru’s natural state is being a weird overly talkative charismatic freak who’s way too much in everyone’s business. He’s like a cheery yoga mom on 800mg of caffeine and no sleep.

[demaparbat-hp]

Existential Nihilism Squad™

[mumblingsage]

I'm wondering if, as a society who cares about vulnerable people, we could stop saying "traumatize" when we truly mean "upset"?

I am sick of hearing sad books or movies "traumatize" their readers. I simply do not believe that happens. A traumatic experience might be adjacent to books (I have vivid memories of books I was reading around certain experiences and even how the contents of those books affected my processing of the experiences). But it's not caused by the book. And, y'know. The weather is Christofascist Censorship Attempts outside.

Meanwhile from the other side I continue to be surprised at just how badly people fail to understand trauma and traumatic experiences in general. Watering down the term isn't helping. Find other hyperbole to express that The Bridge to Terebithia gutted you, chewed on your heartstrings, and made you cry your first pair of contact lenses right out of your preteen eyes.

(ETA here although it's impossible to edit reblogs: over the months since this post really took off, there has been valuable discussion in the comments. I stand by the passion with which I wrote this post and with the general message, but not all the exact wording. I talk more about the way I'd re-write this post in a response here, replying to an addition that added a ton of useful context [other additions touched on similar themes, but that person had it all together in one reblog]. With that said, I am muting this post.)

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

guys who got abandoned

[humming-fly]

I love how Gerald was trying to keep Shadow from spoiling anything about the future meanwhile literally everything Shadow says and does around Maria is the biggest death flag ever

[victusinveritas]

What is this, 1671?

[isjasz]

nightmare fuel fr (i. dont know what possessed me to do this HASJDHAJWHEAWHEIJFKL)

[frownyalfred]

“Bruce Wayne’s superpower is money” Bruce Wayne’s superpower is the ability to actively have a full-fledged panic attack and still look Superman himself dead in the eye without any of his vitals changing. Heart rate is a solid 60 BPM. You can’t even see him breathing. Put some respect on my man’s name.

[rox-and-prose]

i love the french, i love the way they pronounce Rs like they're disgusted with them