#/it was really fucking difficult not to write an entire novel here

[elodieunderglass]

It's not really my business, but honestly it feels like it would be advisable to hire a copyright lawyer. Like I don't feel like you're in it for the money, but it might be gratifying to have the guy milking your idea at least have to formally acknowledge you. I think I'd do it just for the peace of mind to know if I've been "legally" wronged or not. Either way, hope you continue to inspire, and live out a peaceful life.

(In reference to this post about the guy who pretends to have invented “Elder Teletubbies,” specifically how he is now kickstarting DnD minis of them.)

Ha, well, it’s all a little tricky I think. I might, hilariously, post on the r/legaladvice Reddit (even though they’re all cops lol) because the only thing I want here is for him to stop selling my “transformative work,” and ideally to stop pretending he invented it (which might be difficult as he appears to fully believe his work is creatively independent.)

I think if anything, my post counts as protected commentary or a transformative work of BBC’s Teletubbies, and I think it’s stinky to profit on that stuff in general (like I’m 190% okay with buying LotR fanart on stickers ! but I wouldn’t dream of trying to publish a fic with the serial numbers filed off. Why?)

I think ultimately I’m not a grifter, I’m a grownup, and I think it’s several levels of eye roll to sell fanart of a tv show on this level. I would be embarrassed to touch money made on that. I’m too fucking scrupulous and artisanal. I have toyed with a silly original novel for funsies since 2019 but keep saying things like, “oh, people will think this is too similar to something else that already exists” as if a silly original novel I write for fun has to somehow pass a Bar of Originality higher than anything salary-writers aim for.

I’m also pretty anti-intellectual-property myself in that leftist sense where I don’t believe people should be acting as if creative works are, like, oil. Like the resource extraction angle of intellectual property freaks me out, I don’t think getting super high-horse and snotty about Magical Brain Property is entirely compatible with the artisanal temperament I personally got going on here. I am like snufkin about this, simply smoking a pipe and making a flower crown saying “poor fools! Producing works for market, and serving as the guard dogs of the market, lest their work lose value if it becomes more common!” I do not have a high horse. I am not going to post 6900 words about the importance of defending fucking… Mickey Mouse. I buy those lotr stickers on Etsy! I do have a horse, but it’s a pretty low horse.

If it was his own work I would not care about this guy doing this in the least (apart from loftily calling it stinky - but hey, nerds are common and nerds are stinky, it’s not rare) IF he wasn’t STEALING FROM MY ANTI-COMMERCIALISATION DREAM TO DO IT.

That’s the bit that PISSES ME OFF too much to ignore: that and accepting compliments for being original like 😌 yes my twisted mind did this idk lol.

Like if you asked him point blank about the artistic choices he’d be like idk my twisted mind just sees the Teletubbies this way teehee! but if you ask ME why, for example, the adult Teletubbies live in the forest I’ll explain that in 2017 I was at a major life crossroads and this dream was ABOUT that. It was goodbye to my identity as a foreigner from the pine forests, and full steam ahead to settling permanently in the fucking shire (where the baby teletubbies on the bbc show live). It was about going back to work having had my first child, and saying goodbye to my various career dreams for myself (famous scientist! Published author!) as I chose instead, finally, the responsibility of working humbly as a public servant for the actual good of society. It is about witnessing the wild and saying “I am not of it, but it is my job to be its witness and voice.” That’s why the adult Teletubbies are dancing in my native forests while I’m watching them from the English hills. This guy doesn’t know that he just vaguely heard “spooky forest cryptid” and didn’t develop it at all, I do more work than that with FANFICTION in my time off!!!

So it’s really about nebulous stuff and ethics and not something worth paying a lawyer for I think!

But thank you so much for this, I think the thing that gets most perennial about it is the TOTAL GASLIGHTING of the “outside world” of the rest of the internet like, fully believing they invented this, and they DIDNT. They’re so wrong on the internet and they don’t know

[tossawary]

Shen Yuan’s “proof” that he’s straight is that he willingly read PIDW.

Yes, Shen Qingqiu insisted that he was still straight! His willingness to read a stallion novel like Proud Immortal Demon Way was rock-solid proof!

- SVSSS, Volume 3, Chapter 17

We could use this same logic to argue that a willingness to write a stallion novel like PIDW is rock-solid proof of straightness, but... uh... yeah. Shen Yuan tried to get Airplane Bro to be a little upset with him that Luo Binghe is gay now earlier and Airplane Bro just fucking shrugged.

The entire SQQ & SQH conversation in the underground palace Chapter 14 is pretty golden (“Since when did we have a friendship?” - Shang Qinghua about selling Shen Qingqiu out to Luo Binghe) and it’s tempting to copy all of it here, but I’ll limit myself to just a section of it:

“The stallion novel protagonist you wrote turned gay,” said Shen Qingqiu. “Shouldn’t you be angry?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Shang Qinghua said sincerely. “Either way, the one he’s got his eye on isn’t me.”

Shen Qingqiu gave him a cordial middle finger, then looked back down to polish his sword.

Shang Qinghua gave him a thumbs-up. “Really, you don’t need to be so pessimistic. You have good prospects for the future, quite good prospects. Those golden thighs, they’re thick and sturdy, very reliable!”

“Take your fucking golden thighs,” said Shen Qingqiu. “At least those are just thighs. Where have I ended up? Between the thighs!”

“Between the thighs is even better, ah. A man’s most important object is between the thighs.”

If not for the fact that Xiu Ya had only just returned to Shen Qingqiu’s hands and he couldn’t bear to use it for filthy things, he really had the mind to slice off a chunk of that object between Shang Qinghua’s thighs.

- SVSSS, Volume 3, Chapter 14

I would personally not say that Airplane Bro sounds very straight here.

By the way, half of the underground palace gets destroyed later on, because Liu Qingge comes looking for Shen Qingqiu to rescue him (Shen Qingqiu has been kidnapped by Tianlang-Jun twice at this point). Liu Qingge tries to interrogate Sha Hualing but has difficulty beating up a woman and Sha Hualing is just difficult. Liu Qingge then runs into Shang Qinghua, who is apparently just chilling in the underground palace, and who spills all the beans immediately before Liu Qingge can hit him once, and then starts wailing about how he had not choice and he’ll mend his ways. Which, of course, summons Mobei-Jun to come to his rescue. Mobei-Jun and Liu Qingge get in a fight and Luo Binghe’s house gets halfway destroyed.

Which is, like, a side paragraph to explain how Liu Qingge showed up. The main SVSSS story, of course, features things like Tianlang-Jun asking if Shen Qingqiu has a preference for threesomes because of the Zhuzhi & Binghe thing and then the Qingge & Binghe thing. Incredible.

[rizzyu]

Hello there! :D If u dont mind, can i req platonic friendship hcs for luxiem? where gn!reader looks up to them as an older brother figure? +bonus points if they also have a chaotic personality >:D Have a great day~

Big-brother Figure HC

Pairing: Vox, Mysta, Luca, Ike, Shu x gn! reader

Category: Fluff, heehee haha funni

Warning: C h a o s .  

Summary: Platonic relationship with the Luxiem members :D

A/N: Hi hi! That is such as cute idea! I can already imagine the chaos before even starting to write lol Anyways thank you for the request :D

Vox Akuma

He tries his very very very very very best not to bring in sussy conversations while you are around, since you're like his little-sibling figure

It's very fucking difficult for him to not straight up yell something like FORKIN- *** **** ***** ***, but he really R E A L L Y tries his best (c'mon you gotta give him some slack for trying this hard)

Even though you might already have learnt it from other Niji members (mr satan here might choke those specific members if he finds out)

But Vox also takes care of you very well

Like he'd go out of his way just to make sure you have the best meals every day

Overall, I think Vox would be a very caring but yet very protective big-brother figure

Mysta Rias

You'd be making fun of him A LOT (like real siblings lol) and also pick on him specifically

Like in every roast tier list, Mysta's in the "bullied" tier, and you're the living proof of that.

Say if you're playing Crab Game, you'd specifically throw a snowball at him out of nowhere, causing him (using his webcam mic that makes him sound like he's in the middle of a damn hurricane) to scream like he's stuck between the fabric of reality and the backrooms

Basically like this: "WHAAA WHA%#%@"#*@ WHO THE %##*@/× FUCK ^@!~# DID&פ^#*!/£₩※THAT /£&&$)#(@#:"

Meanwhile you: "MUHYAHYAHYAHAYYAHAYAGHAGSSBABBA L L L L L L"

And if Mysta is cooking, just like Vox his Mysta's cooking stream, you'd scold him for cooking in such uhhhhh c u r s e d ways

“Mysta, for the love of Riku Tazumi, by “pour oil into the pan”, doesn’t mean to fill the entire pan with oil.”

Overall, chaotic sibling-like relationship with Mysta :)

Luca Kaneshiro

The most chaotic duo in NijiEN

You two would both pull pranks and say random deez nuts, ligma jokes to other members

Whenever you two take part in collabs (especially large ones), I can imagine you both causing so much mischief that everyone would be screaming your names while chasing you two who are laughing your butts off (I love his laugh it’s so goofy)

He’d teach you his ways of pogging

Say if you’re playing Minecraft, you two would probably place lava traps in front of the doors of every house, before hiding nearby to see the other members scream when they fall into the trap

Basically he’s gonna troll with you all the time :)

Ike Eveland

Just like Vox, very caring but very protective

He really enjoys reading you the novels he wrote and making you caviar toast. Even if you dislike caviar, he (tries) to not be too disappointed in you lol

Ike also like to teach you how to write novels and how to speak some Swedish words

And usually when you did well when he’s teaching you things, he’d give you a headpat :3

Usually if some other members say something a bit sussy, broski would look d e a d into their eyes while having both hands covering both of your ears, before politely telling you to go somewhere else for the meantime. Then he'd threaten whoever did that in front of you.

I like it when he goes psychopath mode. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Shu Yamino

You’d definitely greet each other with “eyyyyyyyyyyyyy” everytime you meet lol

If you’re a smart person, you’d probably be talking about maths or something in the middle of a game.

“There are two boxes blocking that so if we double it we can cover the whole thing.”

 “Yea but there isn’t enough space to place 4 boxes there, maybe 3.46 boxes can work.”

“Seems like 3.48 would work better.”

“BUT IT’S JUST A 0.02 DIFFERENCE-” (made-up scenario lol)

The whole time chat would be spamming the nerd emoji 🤓🤓🤓

You, Shu and Petra would get along very well too, since Petra is like a sister figure to Shu

Happy penguin siblings :D

[charmwasjess]

So, let's say George Lucas was more self aware producing/directing the prequels and hired you to reign him in/keep him on track. How would the prequels be different?

What a fucking FUN question. :D I've been chewing over this in my inbox for a couple days.

Honestly you couldn't pay me enough to write for Star Wars, and that's not just because I'd be fired on my second day for making it so gay. I think there absolutely are problems in the prequels, but I also think no matter what films they made, it was going to be a difficult tango of trying to keep an existing fanbase happy while attracting new ones, doing the old story homage but also not just retreading stale territory, and the fact that an entire generation came up with headcanons for what the Clone Wars or young Obi-Wan or Vader was like in that era, and no matter what you do, someone was going to be disappointed.

I also have a ton of sympathy for Star Wars writers in general - I see stories like Mike Chen who wrote the Brotherhood novel having to get the book together in three months over 11 drafts or the Rebels writers working unpaid nights and weekends to try to land the story they loved decently because they weren't given enough time or money. I don't know what it's like to write or create content for Lucasfilm, but I can't help but think of Warren Fu, who created the iconic General Grievous design for Lucas, later drawing himself as Sifo-Dyas being drained of blood to create Grievous. The metaphor he chose there is, um, interesting, to say the least, and I wonder how it reflects on his time at Lucasfilm. I see these anecdotes all the time of writers and creators working incredibly hard for little money or recognition and then their passion project gets changed or sidelined by the powers that be within the franchise.

ANYWAY THAT SAID HERE'S HOW I'D FIX THE PREQUELS- I think it's really a matter of redrafting what's there because so much of it is really good and has great potential. I just rewatched the Phantom Menace, so that's on my mind. Yeah, I remember being little enough that Jar Jar Binks was funny to me - I love Ahmed Best - but having just rewatched it, Jar Jar gets a ton of screentime and that could be better balanced. AND oofa-doofa, the racist accents/stereotypes. Cut cut cut. Rework.

Otherwise, I think there's a tendency - and some of it was the popular movie tropes at the time the films were going out - to rely on Idiot Plot. OOPS, Anakin didn't mean to go to the big space battle!!! He just won the day on accident!! To a lesser degree, many other characters make it through the movie by just sort of guessing and lucking their way into it as a narrative choice. Just going by the fact that the films need to be about the good guys losing because it's a prequel for a saga with no Jedi, I'd like a little bit more agency for them. More moments of saying "yes, I want to do this" and less "wow, what the hell is going on?!"

The other big change I'd make is give Obi-Wan a much larger role in the Phantom Menace, and Padme a bigger part in both AotC and especially RotS. (Actually, she really kicks ass in TPM. That moment where she shoots through the window and the duel of the fates music swells? Ascension guns!! I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about it.) I think Anakin is the most sympathetic when he's seen through the eyes of characters who love him and vouch for him. And Obi-Wan is honestly barely in TPM - it's all Qui-Gon, who I love, but I could see the film being really successful through him as our perspective/focus character instead. The way that Luke Skywalker takes us with him on this adventure and shows us the story. Obi-Wan could do that very effectively. And as much as the prequels are about Anakin's fall, they're also ultimately a story of Obi-Wan's survival.

And I'd cut Count Dooku, for no reason other than I don't like how weird I got about that guy.

[epersonae]

I wrote this originally as a reblog of something else, but after letting it sit in drafts for a while realized it needed to be its own thing. (but do go read that post, it was what got me thinking in this specific direction) I have not edited it much, other than to remove some intro about the kind of shitty day(s) I was having in my non-online life that were part of why I wrote something and then sat on it.

I have been thinking about

Don't like, don't read

(I saw this with rainbow text, and I asked how the fuck to do that, and frankly I don't have that level of patience, so just imagine it rainbow I guess)

And..........

Sure? We're all just here to have a good time or whatever, and Just Like Stuff, and it's exhausting being a hater (but also [stares at people I know who I've seen say all that and who are also ABSOLUTELY haters in private])

But I want something more nuanced than that. I mean that as both:

a writer of things I know other people have taken issue with (including, I remembered today, something that I heard secondhand about, in addition to the vagueblogging I've mentioned in an earlier post about my older fic)

and a reader/art appreciator who has some issues with things I've tried to read and art I've seen.

I don't what it is or how it works or how to get from here to there. I don't even really know how to do this with people I'm close to! (with the exception of having been a thoroughly obnoxious beta constantly saying "make me believe this could even happen", or pointing out conflicts with canon or whatever) I tend to silently nope out and then change my opinion of the person without ever telling them, because yeah, I'm horrifically conflict averse.

Which is why this might sit in my drafts for a long time.

And then, outside of friendships, and Difficult Conversations or whatever

I don't like pile-ons. I don't like a couple of people trying to articulate what bugs them about a piece of writing, and maybe being awkward or clumsy about it, and immediately getting drowned out by "you're being mean to my friends". (and I say that as someone who has had friends' writing receive this sort of critique! Multiple friends!) Maybe the immediate answer is, yes, the back button, but it has to be possible to dissect what's bothering you about a piece of writing (or a trope, or a ship) without it being negativity or an attack.

Here, I'll go first, because these are two things in OFMD fic that bug me endlessly, that writers I like have written, and I think they exhibit a subversion of the source material that is counter to the actual themes of the show.

Note: since I wrote all of this, I have written a little bit about my sort of complicated feelings about a fic that imho is an original novel in a trenchcoat, a sort of fic lacroix despite being very good. these examples are in the same vein as that.

Inevitable fucking disclaimer: I don't think people are wrong or bad for doing these things, I'm not going to try to make anybody stop, I practice don't like don't read (and I have some exceptions that I've enjoyed despite it being something I don't like generally)

Enemies to lovers: the whole point of Ed and Stede is that they click perfectly and immediately. They like each other! From the very first minute it's friendship and mutual admiration and delight and attraction. Enemies to lovers is a cliche that belongs to a different story entirely. I wish people would think more before jumping to that trope. (I've had an AU in my head for months that I absolutely cannot write until I solve this problem from the AU's source material) It's an interesting question to me, actually, why it seems to be so easy to write characters who don't like each other and then somehow fall in love, when the source material shows them liking each other SO MUCH right away.

Younger than middle aged: again, the whole point is that they are changing their lives, that their midlife crises brings them to the point where they can find love. I think it's a djenks Themes and Motifs thing, to have a story about getting to this point in your life and really looking at it and going "am I where I need to be?" Also it's incredibly unique and special to me after the last few years of my own rolling midlife crisis. (petty thought that I have sometimes: it is a failure of imagination about or knowledge of actual middle-aged people) Tbh, this goes double for age difference, I will nope out of that even faster than both of them being young.

And I think there's something about being able to not like something and still not be a dick about it, to know enough about what you do like to look at something and say "this doesn't work for me and here's why", to engage thoughtfully and critically (and yeah occasionally in public) while still having respect for the other person.

I am thinking also of @emi--rose and @frommybookbook and music, and their efforts to find kpop and Taylor Swift, respectively, that I might enjoy, because I don't like most of either, and I think this thing we've been doing is helping all three of us understand more about what we all do and don't like.

[pausing to think]

It occurs to me, also, that I spent a lot of time griping while editing for the benefit of all the broken hearts, about having to go back and do a lot of set up/rewriting to make some of what happens in that read plausibly. And I was soooooo bitchy about it and also that critique was all correct and it made the story stronger even aside from making it more "canonical", whatever the fuck that means in that particular setting.

And that was in the particular creative intimacy setting of working with a beta, which is different, admittedly, from random critique on the open internet.

But then I spent a while, back in the day, immersed in the TAZ questions of "is Lucretia a lesbian?" and "can Magnus ever love again?" and I wrote my rarepair (and associated polycule shipping) very much from my id, and a certain amount of "you can't tell me that didn't happen" that was based on overidentification and personal experience, but there were definitely people who were pretty publicly "ew" about it, and I had to think through my position, and both decide what felt true about and also decide to write from my weird heart, but not blindly.

Idk, I've written all of this and I'm just landing on

I think introspection is nice.

I think it's good to do, I think it's worth thinking about what you like and don't like, and maybe where that comes from, and not in a puriteen way but with sincerity and curiosity. I would like to support and encourage that spirit of artistic introspection.

[colorfulmetaphors]

Maul fic rec because yes please

Hello friendos. In the last few months or so, I took a break from tumblr and in that time read through the near-entirety of the (maul centered) Maul fic on ao3. It was a blast and I wanted to make a rec list because these were amazing and I want to gush over them. my goal here is to rec something for any maul mood you may be in. there's flash (short) fic, medium length, and long-ass novel fic; some fluff, some angst, some character studies; i tired to hit each Maul Genre. And I'm categorizing them because organizing things is fun. So:

O66 fallout:

To The Wild by @d0nkarnage (43,251 words; rated M)

This one is by far my fav of the Maul and Ahsoka team up during O66 (fall) ones. Giant buff gay Ahsoka? Yes. Good. But the greatest draw of this fic is the way in which these two characters learn to understand each other. I like how hostile it begins and how the author shows Ahsoka's opinion changing over time. And of course, because my focus is going to be Maul, I loved the way the Ahsoka POV catches his acerbic demeanor and lets him just be kind of an asshole. Then that first chapter of Maul POV hits to reframe everything and youre like *dog in a burning room meme* this is fine. It balances tone really well, with growth built on small moments, parallels I didn't expect to punch me in the heart, lines of dialogue that bring every that's crashing beneath up to the surface, and just being fucking funny. Every other line has me going Oooooooo that's some good-ass writing. Love it, please read it and enjoy the image of Ahsoka and Maul arm wrestling while you try not to sob over the ways theyve learned to care for each other.

Cocaine and Abel by storm_warning (18,431 words; rated T)

On the other side of Maul and Ahsoka team up (fall), we have my favorite of the Maul and Ahsoka team up (balance), or 'Ole Palps gets defeated. Not only is this fic awesome, so is the playlist (which the author has linked in the notes) that accompanies it. My favorite part of this fic is Maul's denial, or his inability to understand/confront himself. He's working through allying with Ahsoka, seeing his master defeated, and figuring out where his place is, all while fighting through the horror of [his entire life.] It all coalesces into my favorite line: "--and then his knife is letting the blood out of the Anomid’s throat, and it runs gushing and thin in the rain, and all the wretched voices are quiet with shock." Switching the subject of the sentence in a moment of intense emotional struggle is such a clever use of language, reminiscent of Windham using the passive voice to signify Maul's dissociation, and I went back and re-read the passage like seven times. Read this one if you want to lie awake at night, haunted by birdsong.

The Heavy Center by bluestalking (41,790 words; rated G)

This one snuck up on me! Not because I didn't like it, but because it didn't sound like something I would normally be into. But I was determined to read almost everything in the tag so I tried it and I'm so glad I did. It's a post-O66 (fall) fic that centers around Padme, Ahsoka, Maul, and Obi-Wan. And It's one of those fics where I have to stop every few paragraphs or so to just repeat a sentence to myself and roll the rhythm over my teeth. The turns of phrase are exquisite. I really appreciate how reasonable Maul is in this fic. I feel like in a lot of Obimaul scenarios, he doesn't get to be the one to say hold on wait a minute let's talk. I think this one does a great job showing the shift in his motivation/reasoning and how that affects the way he approaches other people. I also like how there's so much he and Obi-Wan don't talk about. They skirt around stuff because its difficult to confront, but they find a way anyway.

Smaul:

Keep Running by @greenreticule (two parts, combined 26,094 words; rated T)

God bless Maul is rescued young fics. I think this series gets the exact balance of aw what a cute bby and oh shit that is one traumatized child how tf do I raise him. I like that the relationship between Dex and Maul isn't easy, but it is careful. I like that Dex messes up and that Maul is a rebellious fearful angry curious little guy, prone to all the folly of any young child, let alone one raised by Sidious. And I love that those behaviors appearing are signs of healing! The world-building in this one is really cool too. I found myself enjoying the locations and imagining the spaces around the characters. And HOLY SHIT the trans feelings in part two. Please heed the author's warnings carefully. I was having a great time, enjoying smaul, and then felt like I got hit by a train. It's good, but it's painful, but it's good.

Twin Suns/Kenobi on Tatooine:

the past is another planet by anonymous (329 words, rated T)

I so admire authors who can say a lot with very little. This snippet of an altered Twin Suns uses action to convey thought very well, touching on themes without ever naming them. The last line left me breathless.

Just This Once by A_Hodgepodge_of_Nothings (35,451 words, rated E)

This fic is exceedingly warm. It made me happy reading it, and I had to pace myself-- stop myself from finishing it all in one go. This is a desert hermits fic in which Maul and Obi-Wan's relationship develops very slowly and naturally, spaced over time skips that flow together really well. The Maul would be good with kids, actually, representation we need. The learning to be vulnerable around each other and learning how to rely on someone else scenes we also need. Just two tired, sad men clinging onto what little hope remains between them. And some chapters have art!

The Nature of the Beast by Carmarthen (@carmarthenfan) (1,384 words; rated G)

After I've spent 20 minutes staring at the ceiling, despondent over Maul, I turn to this fic for relief. Maul and Obi-Wan adopt a puppy. What's not to love. The author does some really interesting world-building regarding the Tusken raiders, and Maul himself is curmudgeonly to cover his affection. He's a stinker who buys things he knows his partner will like but also intentionally spooks him because he can. Peak Maul.

TPM AUs:

The Lost & The Forgotten by @shadowmaat (5,651 words; rated G)

It was really difficult to pick just one work by shadowmaat. I highly recommend checking out their entire Maul catalogue. In the end, I chose this one because I was instantly charmed by its opening. Maul shouting "Fight me!" and Obi-Wan replying like no lets have lunch made me laugh and I was ready for the What If The Naboo Duel Never Happened ride. I love Maul's characterization in this one. There are touches to his presentation that I subconsciously look for now, and this one hit all the marks: his strange brand of kindness, his maladaptive coping behaviors, and the brusqueness that covers intense care. Their use of character voice is really powerful and I enjoyed each swap in POV. Maul and Obi-Wan being mutually stranded (abandoned?) alters their dynamic from the more standard one-saving-the-other, and I enjoyed the reciprocity of their equal standing. And if this one doesn't pique your interest please check out the Tooka Cafe AU. Guess I'm not just picking one ha. Her Twin Suns AU is also very good...... FUCK. moving on.

Leaps of Faith, Acts of Kindness by @trixree (1,298 words; rated T)

My favorite type of fic are the ones where Maul and Obi-Wan just talk. This is exactly how I think a conversation post-Maul-losing-on-Naboo would go. Maul's fear and courage are on equal display-- Maul is a collection of conflicting traits and I think this fic shows that with clarity. He's stoic but expressive, terrifying yet terrified, paranoid and all too ready to trust, and all of that conveyed through an outside POV . There are so many gaps in this fic, in a good way. The characters don't have all the answers and neither does the reader, but there's enough for the characters to act and enough for the reader to understand why they act in that way. That's really damn difficult to do. The dialogue is strong and carries the narrative without requiring a lot of description, only needing some emotive action to convey what's going on in the characters' heads. 10000000/10

Staring into open flame by SLWalker (@sl-walker) (100,526 words; rated M)

To me, this is THE Maul fic. It’s an insightful dive into his character; it’s stunningly beautiful in both language and composition; the ending was so satisfying that I immediately wanted to read the entire thing again. In it, Maul is found by the Jedi after Naboo, but the fic takes place during TCW (Wild Space novel) and bounces back and forth between the present and the past as Obi-Wan and Maul work through their relationship. And by God. The parallels the author draws. The way she uses those jumps to juxtapose different scenes. Reading it the second time was even better because I knew how things connected and could further appreciate how carefully they'd been woven. This fic made me fall in love with Maul’s character all over again and that’s the highest compliment I can give. (And honestly, anything by Steff is going to be a banger. I haven’t read all her stuff but Im confident it’s all good because her mastery of craft and understanding of character are that solid. AU where Bail Organa takes Maul in? I know nothing about Bail but that one ended up being my favorite of her work. A series where the base premise is just “maul has wings?” im already in the car with a full tank of gas let’s go. "WORDS" IS REALLY GOOD. "IT" IS REALLY GOOD. and im terrified to read her Twin Suns internal monologue because *mr incredible voice* im not strong enough. uh. This one tho. Please read this one.)

There my heart lays sweetly in the velvet moor by @texasdreamer01 (12,856 words; rated E)

I'm incredibly fond of this fic. Reading it feels like nesting into the couch, fireplace going, thick blanket on, and shaking up a snow-globe to watch the sparkles settle around this little encapsulated world. It's mesmerizing, comforting. Has that oooooooo a damn good writer wrote this pizzazz. In this one, Obi-Wan didn't "kill" Maul on Naboo, and afterwards they keep running into each other as time goes on, until those coincidences become purposeful. The author is great at describing places in a way thats tangible. I can hear the scenes, feel them. You can tell a lot of thought went into the smallest details. The vocabulary in this one is also great? Precise words are used in ways you wouldn't expect within the sentence structure. It makes reading it fun and engaging, like playing tag with phrases. I really really like this version of Maul; he's a little more loose than your typical TPM-era Maul, but he has the same awkwardness and endearing happiness in doing things efficiently/well. Settle in!

Misc Imperial Era:

Mannequin Dream by anonymous (1,477 words; rated T)

Maul/Rex as a thing kinda hit me out of left field but I think I like it? Maul's characterization in Maul/Rex fics is always so !sharp and this one is no different. The description alone sold me on it, and the content (Maul and Rex having a philosophical discussion about purpose and ideology and solitude) sealed the deal.

he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist by trophygoth (2,131 words; rated M)

What initially caught my attention about this one is how Maul thinks about his past self. He feels matured, aged, changed from who he was when he was younger, and i think that that’s significant because his ability to self-reflect is initially so stunted. It's not a long fic; it’s a post-nightmare scene that captures how Maul and Obi-Wan have come to understand each other. They have gentle banter, intentional body language, and Maul's inner-monologue is knowing. It also portrays Maul well, with his tempered contemplation, rough edges, and warped thinking. "(He is still young enough that he allows himself to quantify this feeling as pain)," knocked me tf out.

TCW (ending where my love of Maul began, in true Maul fashion):

Far Above, Far Below by nobody_expects_the_inquisitorius (@nobody-expects-the-inquisitorius) (788 words; rated G)

Gen fic has a special place in my heart. Maul's venator rampage is probably my (second?) favorite TCW scene, because it's so calculating and brutal, but it also carries a sense of simultaneous hopelessness and determination to survive. Of you want a "monster?" Fine. And I feel like this internal-monologue fic does a great job of showing why Maul is feeling that way. The prose is incredibly pretty and it's so... desolate. Yet rebellious. It has the same gravitas as the scene it frames, and I think that's really impressive. It's in the verbs, evocative and visceral. I want to plant flowers around this fic, like offering respect at a sorrow-laden grave.

Until I am Whole by dimtraces (@doorsclosingslowly) (1,934 words, rated M)

Maybe I am slightly cheating on my parameters with this one, but I don't care because I love this fic so much. This one is Savage-focused, but his relationship with Maul lies at the center. (If you want something more Maul-focused with a similar tone, try Keep quite still and wait ((2,984 words, rated M)) by the same author ((yes I'm doing two in one because it's my list and no one can stop me)) listen dimtraces is where I go for Brothers) [Both have] everything: character work, beautiful writing, and that sweet sweet ~~~~~body horror~~~~~. This one is about Savage's lost arm, but that's such a simplistic way to summarize it. The imagery is visceral and the way the author follows a single thread through time/emotion is extremely well done. I want to talk about it a bunch but I also don't want to spoil it because seeing the way it unfolds is a large part of the appeal. It's spooky! It's got heart! It's gorgeous! Please read it and go-- go-- feral with me. (falls to knees in anguish)

and then the singing by @sunsetofdoom (10,007 words, rated T)

Okay. This happened to be the last fic I read as I made my way through the tag and worked off of my list of to-reads. And it's the best way to end. If you want just a straight-up character study of Maul, this is the one for you. It's haunting in a way that has stuck with me, and, I feel, will never leave because it has fundamentally altered my brain chemistry. I wept repeatedly while reading it-- it's so tender, but blunt about who Maul is. I'm struggling to put my thoughts into words, because it's not the kind of thing you talk about; it's the kind of thing you just feel. To try and give you a synopsis, then: it follows Maul's life from pre-TPM into Rebels (but is mainly focused during TCW) and has him braid his experiences with various songs (mostly old English folk), poems, and lullabies, all while the narrative hovers around a theme of clinging to individuality/person-hood, the part of him I hold most dear. It's triumphant and mournful, victory and tragedy. It's "This is why I love Maul." It's just-- achingly, beautifully, written. Achingly, perfectly, Maul. I'm going to start crying if I talk about it any more, so. Actually, too late. Pressing save as draft and coming back later. <3

Those are the recs! Thanks for taking a look and please come talk to me if you end up reading any. (or if you want even more recs, because I've got 'em) If any of the authors happen to see this, thank you! Your work has made this dive so enjoyable. You've made me laugh and cry and send impassioned raving messages to my friends. I appreciate you posting and allowing me to swim in your worlds for a while.

[ampleappleamble]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love ❤️

okay okay at least three separate people (you, @adozentothedawn and @dragonologist-phd ♡♡♡) have asked me this now so i guess i better deliver. conveniently, i only have 5 published fics in total, so this'll be pretty easy! i'll list them in order of my most to least favorite:

Hero Worship — this fic answers the question "before he invited them to the Dead Floe, how did Vatnir learn about the Watcher of Caed Nua's exploits in the Dyrwood and their presence in the Deadfire?" in my Watcher's case, it turns out the answer is "an unscrupulous merchant sold him a book about her and he became infatuated with her after seeing her portrait, and then he had a really fucked up terrifying horny nightmare about her that he's pretty sure was some sort of omen from his god, so he figured he'd better write to her." features Maribel and Maribel, my Vailian nature godlike and endings godlike not-really-sisters with the same name who ran away from the circus and are trying to build themselves a little trade empire. this was one of those fic ideas i kicked around in my head for years before finally writing it and i personally really really love how it came out! content warning: there's an almost-sexual encounter involving arguably dubious consent, blood, and forced consumption of gore (all of which are entirely within a dream sequence), and vomit (that happens in the waking world).

Pillars of Eternity: Anthem Infinitum — my very first fic ever, a novelization of my Watcher Axa Mala's journey through the events of the first Pillars of Eternity game. she features in most of my other fics, so if you wanna know what she's all about, start here! my longest fic at over 100k words thus far, still very much in progress, stalled out around 2 years ago just as i was starting the White March, a rather difficult section of the game wrt keeping up one's momentum. also i had just given birth to my son, which shifted my priorities a bit. i'm currently in the process of re-editing it in preparation to (hopefully) continue the damn thing, so if you'd like to help encourage me, read what i've got and maybe consider leaving a comment! 👀 content warning: every sensitive topic you might encounter in Pillars of Eternity you'll also find here, including blood/gore/violence, (memories/discussion of) child abuse, (memories/discussion of) incestuous sexual assault, and the abuse/murder of vulnerable people.

Shelter in Place — your classic "curmudgeonly old man and adorable precocious child are thrown together by Circumstances and must learn to get along" fic. Vatnir hasn't been in the Watcher's crew for even six hours yet, and already they're under attack by pirates, because of course they are. but as he's trying to find a place to hide (what, you thought he was gonna help fight them?), who should he happen across but a little orlan girl, clutching a stuffed stelgaer and looking for her mama? as the battle above intensifies, he scoops Vela up and gets the two of them to a relatively safe place, but can he manage to keep her safe? or at least quiet? another fic i spent a lot of time daydreaming about before finally writing it, and the only fic of mine requiring no content warning because there's no objectionable content! (unless you count the very brief appearance of a severed hand.)

God's Children Bathe Free — still the only Vatnir/Tekēhu fic on ao3! the Watcher of Caed Nua has decided to treat her crew to a trip to the Luminous Bathhouse, primarily because they're offering free admission for godlike patrons today– hence why she's invited her newest recruit, Vatnir. he's reluctant at first, but Tekēhu convinces him that he ought to enjoy all the Deadfire has to offer their kind... as well as the amorous attentions of Ondra's favored. i write about Vatnir a lot, i know, but this was my very first effort starring him! this one turned out very differently than i'd initially planned. i didn't set out with the intent to pair him and Tekēhu romantically, but by the end of the story that's where i found they'd led me. no regrets though. content warning: there's a good amount of innuendo and implied sexual activity in this one.

Wael's Mystery Nut — a shitpost in the form of a fanfiction examining what each of the gods might be like were they to engage the Watcher in sexual intercourse. literally born of making ridiculous raunchy jokes about the gods in the pillars fan discord, inspired by the hauntingly beautiful, achingly erotic unfinished fic from the Forgotten Sanctum, A Very Good Farmer. featuring an intentionally ambiguous Watcher (just plug your favorite Watcher into the story!) and a little epilogue starring Xoti and (who else) Vatnir. content warning: no one should read this. (honestly it's meant to be funny and not at all titillating, but it does make use of some pretty explicit sexual imagery and language, so if that's not your thing then read at your own risk.)

[what-the-stark]

👀 👀 👀 (one for masculine, one for feminine, one for Jotun pretty please 🥺) @kissedbymischief

send 👀 for a dirty thought and/or fantasy my muse has had about yours.

I see you over there being greedy. And naughty. Also sexy. Can't forget that. I've tried. Thanos said he was inevitable, but he had nothing on you when you put your mind to distracting me. But, yeah. You deserve everything, so. Three it is.

For the you I met first...I guess I'll always have a soft spot for him. And by soft, I mean hard. Exceedingly hard. I have never been so terrified and simultaneously aroused in my entire life as when I landed at the Tower and you were stalking towards me with that dirty little fuck or die Asgardian runway strut, looking like the hottest nightmare I've ever had. It was honestly a little difficult to deliver my customary masterclass of shit talking, what with my immediate fear for my life and the fact that my dick was trying to edge in on the conversation.

You have no idea how many times I knocked one out at that bar later, thinking of you. Or up against that very window, which is pretty screwed up, I agree, but I'm the opposite of sorry. An entire genre of specifically conflicted handjobs were created thanks to your...input.

Wow, is it getting hot in here? Or is it just you?

Let's see, when you get all slinky on me, curvy and gorgeous, you're just as distracting. In a different way, of course. I know it's still you, and what makes you the person you are hasn't changed, but I can't help wanting to treat you like a lady. Maybe it's societal conditioning, maybe it's Maybelline, but honestly I couldn't give a single fuck as long as it makes you feel good.

I want to give you all the cliche romance novel things you haven't had, whether its holding hands walking down the street or kissing in the rain. I want you in the back seat of my Roadster, hands gripping the leather as I drive you home. I want you on my lap in my office, trying your best to be quiet, riding me, scandalizing anyone who's lucky enough to walk by.

I just want you, whatever shape you happen to be wearing.

Which brings us to the you that fulfills all my not-so-secret size queen fantasies, and wow, I still can't believe that they had you convinced that you weren't hot. Holy shit, and they said you were the God of Lies. How does taller, bluer and with additional stylish skin bling equal unattractive? It really doesn't, and if talk is cheap, let me climb you like a really sexy blue tree and prove it. My fantasies about you in this form are many and varied, but I always come back to wanting your mouth, your skin, sprawling on you, kneeling over you, a shameless supplicant, my hands buried in your hair as you take me in and keep everything you earn.

And I think that's a rap. I didn't know I'd be busy writing a Dear Penthouse letter for an actual deity today, but in hindsight, not sure why I'm surprised.

[mareenavee]

For the Asks to Spread Love, pick and answer 3 that you haven't been asked already! 🧡

Hello again, bri!! Thanks for sending more of these for me! I've really enjoyed catching up on them and thinking through these today!

Fandom Positivity asks from this game here.

10. A popular character you actually really like and why.

I do like me some rare characters most of all lol. My perspective is a bit biased because I love the ones I love and I don't mind if they aren't "popular" per se. (:

LOL -- The obvious answer is Teldryn, right? But I'm gonna talk about

💫Neloth 💫

instead.

I think he's popular to dunk on because he's been a very big pain in the ass in the games for centuries to everyone who will listen to him. I mean, since the events of Morrowind at minimum. (:

Why do I like him? Because of how he's been written by myself and a few friends -- namely @thana-topsy, @paraparadigm (TOOTHPICK!), and @thequeenofthewinter.

I love to see how other people take this character and run with what we're given in text ESPECIALLY considering how ridiculous he is to deal with and his general attitude toward other living things.

For myself, where I write him as a long term friend of Nerevarine!Teldryn Sero, I love to use his character as an opportunity to talk about the struggle of redemption. How does one redeem themselves from a lifetime of difficult choices made to fit into a specific perception? Does this perception eventually end up becoming a core facet of who you are as a person? If that is the case, can you change? Are the consequences of your choices enough to make you irredeemable? Further, can you forgive yourself if change does not come easily or if you return to old behaviors much too easily?

He's a complicated one, I think, especially by the events of Skyrim. He's not exactly estranged from the rest of House Telvanni, but the connection is tenuous and fraught as the House is still, apparently, recovering from the Red Year. In Morrowind it was very much the opposite. There's gotta be a kind of grief to this shift under the uncaring, hyperfocused exterior.

He's annoying, yes, but very interesting to me, and so he's in my fic. And he's actually a huge part of the latter half of the book.

11. Recommend a fic with an unusual/original headcanon or characterisation that you loved.

OH I'm SHOUTING OUT @changelingsandothernonsense's Danger!JOSH (aka Nerevarine Teldryn Sero)'s Nerevar-as-a-parasite situation in Serious Mistakes.

This angry spirit, more or less, lives in the ring and speaks into Teldryn's BRAIN and sometimes drives the entire car, so to speak and I've never ever read anything like it, holy shit. I'm a beta reader for this particular project and I literally cannot yell about it enough.

It's a novelization of the Teldryn Serious mod which was already intriguing, but AH. MY GOODNESS the Nerevar situation.

Let me show you. From chapter 4:

Aren’t you meant to be looking for something? “Oh, you’re still here?” Teldryn rasped, as if saying it out aloud mattered here. You should be thanking me. Teldryn grunted in annoyance, he had a point, he hated it when he was right. His mouth was dry. He wanted to stay where he was. Sleep. You can’t stay here! Get up! Teldryn groaned. Right again – the tide was coming in, if he didn’t find what he was looking for now, then it would be gone by morning. He needed his keys. Was there an Argonian on the beach? He couldn’t remember. His head hurt. He pinched the bridge of his nose, it did little to relieve the pressure. He always overdid it on the magicka, and now he was nauseous.

It's fucking cool, isn't it? (:

19. Give kudos to someone who leaves great comments.

OH GLADLY. Here's where I shout out @polypolymorph!!!

Okay so I could pick out a bunch of comments -- or novel-length responses. Each comment turns into an opportunity for a conversation and I'm always beside myself to hear back from her.

But right now, I'm still grinning ear to ear over, you guessed it. Eyestalks. Eye. Stalks.

(on this project here.)

[omniblades-and-stars]

OC Deep Dive Tag

I was tagged by @writernopal, thank you dear!

I'll tag in return @thetrashbagswasteland, @gemsbokk, @stormikins, @outpost51, @mushroommanchanterelle, and @sparatus.

I'll do this for Lou and then maybe my brain will allow me to write again.

What common/uncommon fear do they have?

I don't think she really has any uncommon fears. I think a lot of people are afraid of being alone. It seems like something that wouldn't come up very often, but the fear and panic she gets when restrained in any form (beyond a hug) is well and away much worse than what you might expect if she is put in handcuffs or even if someone grabs her arms. It's definitely a trauma thing.

Do they have any pet peeves?

Oh she can't stand messy or disorganized work areas and homes. She keeps her thoughts to herself when she's at someone else's place, but she can get snippy and overwhelmed if her workbenches are in disarray or people don't clean up after themselves in her home.

What are 3 items you can find in their bedroom?

Paperback harlequin romance novel, datapad with schematics for her omni-tools to ponder over as she falls asleep, wooden duck that her dad whittled for her when she was a kid.

What do they notice first in a person?

Eyes, what kind of tech are they wearing (can she nerd out with them), and she's definitely noticing if they have beefy, muscular arms. She's into that.

On a scale from 1-10, how high is their pain tolerance?

This one's difficult for me to answer. She gets hurt ... a lot. It fucking hurts when she does. But she's the type that will push through tremendous amounts of pain when necessary. So I guess high? But she's not going to lie and say something doesn't hurt. It's just that it hurting is less important than like meeting her goals or surviving a life or death situation.

Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure?

Oh Lou is a fighter in general. She'd rather get her ass kicked and say she stood in the face of danger, injustice, or assholery and spat at it than run away. She's not entirely without self-preservation instinct, but she gets riled up and will step into extremely unfair fights when she does.

Do they come from a big family/are they a family person?

Her family isn't terribly large. She has one sibling (and she considers her brother-in-law just as good as a blood born brother), her mom who she has a terrible and complicated relationship with, and her dad who just passed away. She has a handful of aunts and uncles too. This is a tough question to answer because she WANTS her family to be a bigger part of her life, but her mom tries to play gatekeeper to the rest, and Lou is very avoidant at dealing with her mother.

What animal represents them best?

Oh this is a great question that I had not put a ton of thought into. My first instinct is raccoon, and here's why: raccoons are very adaptable and a little sneaky, and also they are clever, intelligent little animals. I think that Lou uses her own talents to tackle problems and her profession in unusual and creative ways. She can crack it out (it being surviving and learning to flourish) in all sorts of places and situations despite coming from smaller means in a middle of nowhere town. Also I think raccoons are cute and so is Lou.

What is a smell they dislike?

She really, really doesn't like the smell of seafood.

Have they broken any bones?

Oh for sure. When she was about 10 years, she fell off the monkey bars and crushed her wrist like soda can. She's not suffered any other big fractures, but has broken a toe or two as well.

How would a stranger likely describe them?

Most people would find her unassuming, maybe attractive or cute if they're into human women. If they talk to her, they would think she's very personable and talkative.

Are they a night owl, or morning bird?

Oh, she tends towards night-owling, but her sleep schedule is all over the place (frequent travel to other star systems, stations and planets will do that to you.) Her sleep habits are certainly intensely unhealthy.

What’s a flavor they hate and a flavor they love?

Seafood again, especially salmon. She just doesn't like it. She really loves the flavor of a good fruit tea.

Do they have any hobbies?

She likes rebuilding old guns, she reads romance novels in her free time, and she does a little bit of sewing.

Boom, surprise birthday party! How do they react to surprise?

Oh she's into it! She loves a party, she loves a surprise. And she would be thrilled that her friends thought to do that for her.

Do they like to wear jewellery?

Lou is pretty "meh" about jewelry. She'll wear it if she's dressing up, but by and large, she just doesn't bother. She prefers cute outfits and neat tech.

Do they have neat or messy handwriting?

Her handwriting is very neat. It's very compact and all caps.

What are the two emotions they feel the most?

Hmmm, grief and anxiety.

Do they have a favourite fabric?

Whatever they make the light armor flexible suits out. She's fascinated by the engineering that went into that. And enjoys having a suit made out of it. For actual just feeling, she's a big fan of a light linen.

What kind of accent do they have?

She's got that good-good southern American accent. Sometimes she plays it up if she thinks she can use it to her advantage, but it's always there.

[hangingslothcentral]

this right here is a screenshot of the end of the first novel i ever finished. it was a version of Clockwork Bird, which would go on to become my first ever audio drama in 2020, 6 years after i finished wriitng the novel. it has been a whole TEN YEARS since i finished the first version of this story.

this makes me emotional for a bunch of reasons. firstly, i can't believe it's been an ENTIRE DECADE since i started finishing novel-length projects, what the actual FUCK.

it's kind of sobering because around July/August this year will mark 10 whole years of trying to get published.

since writing Clockwork Bird, I've written seven other novel length pieces, two of which I've attempted to run for publication. I've also rewritten and re-polished three of those stories, including Clockwork Bird, to give a second shot to. Two of those projects are currently making the rounds of literary agents.

I'm feeling hopeful that I'll be able to cross the finishline at some point in the next couple of years. I have wanted to be a writer for my whole life, and I know it's one of those things where all you really need to do to be the thing is to do the thing, and that's magic, and i also know that on top of all those prose writing projects, I've written three audio dramas and numerous other projects, too. the audio dramas have been pretty successful! I'm very proud of them.

one thing that's hard about looking at other people's creative careers is that, sort of by necessity, it all ends up getting flattened and smoothed out as part of the storytelling of who that person is as a creative. we tell rags-to-riches tales or spin another sort of narrative of who this person is and where they're from. the only commonality in all of those stories is that they make it all sound much more straightforward and much more understandable than the reality.

this is okay; it's important we do this in order to stay sane. we cannot reasonably conceive of every up and down in every author's trajectory. and it's kind of a consequence of the way we inevitably end up telling these stories because we start at the end. we know when we think about Charles Dickens, for example, that he ends up to be a celebrated novelist, even as we're talking about his difficult childhood and horrible relationship with his wife. all of his struggles and personal failings are a part of a story whose ending is 'and he was a famous, successful novelist'.

when we're living our lives, we don't know the end, because that's not how it works. you can hope and believe and plan and work extremely hard towards your goals and you still aren't going to know the outcome.

when i finished Clockwork Bird i had NO idea it would be an audio drama 90,000 people would listen to. i didn't know it would be another ten years MINIMUM before i even found a literary agent, let alone saw my work professsionally published. i didn't know i'd spend years barely writing a word of prose because i felt so disenfranchised. i had no idea.

there isn't a big thesis statement to this post, i'm just having a lot of feelings. they say we overestimate what we can achieve in a year, and underestimate what we can achieve in ten. remember you're hearing the stories of other people's lives with the benefit of hindsight; that's why yours always feels much weirder and messier than theirs when you think about it. keep going. u got this. ily. xxx

[flaresanimedump]

Because I feel I say "I can't read the Untold Origins light novel because the translation gives me a headache" a lot without really having examples of why, I went back over some of my 382 PR notes on the part of the novel I did make it through a few years ago.

Important note: This exists so I have something to point to when people ask if I've read it or if I will. I love the story of Origins which is the only reason I suffered through as much of the novel as I did, and I was praying that it'd get adapted and adapted well so that I could really appreciate it. If you actively like the translation you may want to skip reading this if only to save yourself from noticing all the fucking annoying shit in the writing.

And this doesn't reflect my opinion on fan translations. Novels are hard to translate, BSD uses weird ass kanji and words, this isn't easy. But somebody got paid for this writing so I get to take harder shots at their skills. If I buy a professional light novel translation I expect a professional-level translation. Or at least, at the very very least, professional-level proofreading. That is not present here.

When I looked back at my notes, I discovered I actually didn't even start making them until after the scenes with the ADA. My 382 notes came from me melting down for a whole 21% of this novel.

Some quotes, starting from the very first line:

It was the night before the new employee, Atsushi Nakajima, joined the agency—and the night had only just begun. - Around that time, there were rumors of a highly competent bodyguard in Yokohama.

This is in no way "around that time," it's 12 years before the previous scene. The Japanese is その頃 which is meant to refer to a time different than where we are. Other common translations for this expression are "back then" and "in those days." "Around that time" is only a valid way to say it if we're aware of what time is being referenced, and at this point in the scene nobody's said when it is.

The translation of the expression is "correct" but when taken in context it says something entirely different than what it's supposed to mean. Like AI. This is a major red flag for what goes wrong with the rest of the book, but honestly it just gets worse.

There was already proof who did it, which led to the perpetrator’s swift arrest.

I cannot tell if leaving out the preposition was a typo or intentional. The entire line is garbage. "Evidence had already been found and the hit man was in custody." Not saying this line isn't difficult to interpret in JP (it is) but a lot of the existing translation is fluff tossed in to make it possible to use words that could be better. And you can do any number of things to avoid having such an awkward comma.

The wind was strong that day, causing the tape to flutter in the wind.

Yeah. This happens a lot.

“What are you doing?” Fukuzawa naturally asked.

I have no idea what this is supposed to mean. I really hesitate to say anything in the translation is wrong at my current level, but because it means nothing in English, this is wrong. It actually says something like "couldn't help asking."

Fukuzawa swiftly landed with both feet on the floor in the room next door so he could slide in through the slight crack he created,

I have half a dozen notes that are just "where the hell is this character right now". He lands in the room next door so that he can slip into the room next door?

The man wouldn’t be able to escape like this, let alone even scratch his nose.

This is most of the book, just strange and clunky writing. "Let alone" is used to highlight the thing you actually want to do, i.e. "I hardly have time to think these days, let alone relax." Oda wants to scratch his nose? "Even" is hideously redundant alongside "let alone" but could go here if they dropped it and added "or."

"Soon after, they eventually reach their destination."

That is a direct contradiction. It's not even hard to fix it should just be "finally" instead of "eventually."

"I was attending the police academy and living in the dorm until they kicked me out less than a year ago.”

AND THIS. On first glance it looks fine, right? A rare line that doesn't have some glaring grammar error or basic writing mistake. And then you check the raw, where Ranpo says "半年" which means six months. This is a minor thing that's also a massive red flag about the validity of the translation to me, because why on Earth would the translator take out timeline information for a weak ass phrase like "less than a year ago"??? Sure it's technically not wrong, six months IS less than a year, but it's more natural to just say six months! 半年 is as basic as you can get with Japanese! It's on government websites that explain visa timelines! It even means the same damn thing in CHINESE, that's how stable these two kanji are and have been for centuries! The only reason I can think of to do this is because they thought they were 'punching up' the writing with their lame as hell words and it just. Floors me.

To keep this from getting way too long and just summarize:

There are a lot of really bizarre word choices; "tossed to the curb" instead of "kicked to the curb," "got on the elevator" rather than "got in the elevator," "into range with their opponent" etc., and I'm gonna count the secretary saying the murdered company president was like a "governess" to him because the Japanese word is 主君, "lord," and if you weren't familiar with the word "governess" you'd probably think it meant female governor (rather than nanny).

On the more nitpicky stuff, there are a whopping 248 uses of the word "even," most of which need to be removed (and for the record I'm not usually one who cares about that kind of thing). I have several notes that words ending in -ly, especially "suddenly" and "instantly" should be banned from use in this book because they're painfully overused. Dialogue tags avoid "said" way too hard and its replacements interrupt the flow of the work. Past perfect is avoided at many many times when it just feels awkward and slangy to do so.

They do this weird thing where they put most adverbs before verbs ("keeping his trunk from even slightly shaking") which isn't technically wrong but feels wrong when it happens damn near every time there's an adverb. Adverbs of manner go after verbs most of the time so this feels almost like it's still in another language.

After a certain point, given the amount of action, I started to get violently irritated with the absolute dearth of exciting verbs (stationary gets flung and is "sent all over the room," not scattered, a desk is knocked over, it didn't crash to its side). Then we get things like "motionlessly looked" which is pretty much the textbook definition of "stare." It's very tell-don't-show.

And I could keep going. I got tired making these notes and I got tired again going back over them. And this!!! Is only 21% of the book!! I'm not sure if the blatant issues were what finally made me stop or if it was the relentless stream of lesser offenses in every sentence.

[pretensesoup]

Queer Books, day 23/30

This book was really, really big. It was my gateway drug into romanceland(ia). I had not realized that queer romance was even a thing until I saw a friend post about this on her insta. I mean, one time I asked a friend for romance novel recommendations and she suggested Outlander, and, like, no. I know some people like dark books but my idea of a good time doesn't involve anyone getting threatened with rape. So. For a long time I didn't read romance, and then there was Red, White, and Royal Blue.

I started on the audiobook and, okay. One of the MCs has the same name as my now-5yo and also the narrator at one point says "jif" instead of "gif," so I switched to an ebook and it was fine. But I still have feelings about this.

The writing here is serviceable, at times quite droll. It's liberal wish fulfillment at its most obvious (what if we had elected a younger version of Hillary in 2016 with a Latino son?); what if the royal family was not full of bigots and people with far more money than brains? The book is a little poorly edited--in one scene a night is both moonless and moonfull. There are some errors about how primogeniture works in the royal family and…you know, other errors that suggest it's not been fact checked. A political candidate having a 70% chance of winning doesn't mean that they are going to win by 70 points, and I don't know why any of the characters would find that surprising. Anyway.

I feel okay saying these things because this book has won a bunch of awards and it's going to be a fucking MOVIE and also, despite those things, I like it? Like it was fluffy and sweet and I read it at the tail end of a very difficult pregnancy, right around the 2020 election, and I fucking NEEDED something to put me entirely elsewhere. And this did the trick very efficiently.

Key quote:

The next slide is titled: EXPLORING YOUR SEXUALITY: HEALTHY, BUT DOES IT HAVE TO BE WITH THE PRINCE OF ENGLAND? She apologizes for not having time to come up with better titles. Alex actively wishes for the sweet release of death. The one after is: FEDERAL FUNDING, TRAVEL EXPENSES, BOOTY CALLS, AND YOU.

Okay, well, you know the deal. 10/10, go read.

[kenonade]

stella maris reading log #1

its about damn time i start noting down how i feel when i read what i read. hell yeah. hopefully this makes me a better writer.

spoilers not really about the plot (bc honestly is there even a plot in the sense of a plot) but more about the language below the cut woooooo

tldr: book cool. writing insane. wtf. wtf. wtf. head ouchie. 越级打怪的后果就是头晕脑转 (dizziness is the consequence of attempting to read beyond my level). ooga booga man talk abt english

reading stella maris is so interesting because im just sitting here wondering like. how the FUCK did mccarthy accumulate all this knowledge about a variety of very distinct fields. my brain hurts. this is so much information. im learning nothing and learning everything at the same time. how the man managed to learn all this stuff and how he managed to put it together like this puzzle me equally intensely. its one thing to acquire knowledge. its a whole other thing to convey it in language so dense with information but also character. like, not to be that guy, but when osc does his infodumps i think to myself okay old man lets get you to bed. every time alicia opens her mouth i confront my intellectual inferiority and contemplate the meaning of life because it is alicia talking.

not to mention what the FUCK alicia. if only you’d have KNOWN. EUGH. WHAT. WHAT. WHAT.

my head hurts. the reason why im writing instead of reading is because ive already reached my reading breaking point where my eyes glaze over and the words go in one and out the other. its only been two hours. difficult language i can handle fine, verbosity is fine, i inhaled the ender stuff and only took breaks when osc pissed me off, but stella maris is information overload in a way that i’ve never experienced before. im like, texting three separate people all the time. oh i should vet this w my math guy. i need to show this to my psych classmate. this has to go to my orthopedics bestie.

i started this book saw the page number and went oh sure. its half the length of the passenger. the style means that it’ll contain less words overall too. i should be able to finish this on a three hour hsr ride. WRONG. i CANT. it’s TOO DIFFICULT. im running into roadblocks very similar to what i felt when i read the passenger: dont know place/name/context/big word. except im finding stella maris to be even more difficult because unlike some nautical jargon or random place in the midwestern usa that i can just look up, i cant. i think its impossible to even begin to comprehend all this math.

that’s definitely part of the charm of stella maris. the format of audio transcripts creates a much more intimate connection between the characters and the reader. the target demographic of this novel, though niche, is definitely not as niche as to comprise only of genius mathematicians with a burning passion for music and a hatred of psychology. the reader might be a master in one of these fields, but alicia outsmarts them in it along with all others. viewed through this lens, the reader is the doctor. the reader is the one who converses with alicia, trying their best to piece together a mind that is so extraordinarily genius and extraordinarily tormented. it’s a position of emotional significance. the reader sits through these audio recordings because they want to understand alicia. and to understand alicia is to love her. (this is a certified when i truly understand my enemy i love him moment)

all of that sits in stark contrast to western’s narration in the passenger.

i wrote an entire paragraph but tumblr fucking ate it. im pissed. its ok. for love i’ll write it again.

western’s narration is detached. it’s impersonal. mccarthy’s clinical and direct use of language alienates the viewer and prevents the formation of any sincere rapport, allowing only mild sympathy for western’s continued suffering. the reader is merely an observer, piecing together the life of a strange, curious creature through inference and deduction. nor is the reader meant to empathize with him. he’s the one who chose to abandon alicia, the one reckless enough to chose race car driving over his degree, and therefore the one who shoulders alone the responsibility of alicia’s death—or so he thinks. in a sense, because western is comparatively lucid, the detached narration becomes almost a punishment for the guilt he’s assigned to himself. he’s not the one in the mental asylum, afterall.

its interesting to me how mccarthy presents this duo to the audience. i have many Thoughts on alicia’s sexuality and stuff but i should finish the book before i synthesize those thoughts. anyway. thanks for reading 👍

[lamarckianenterprises]

Sucks to be Me But I'm built Different Now

My work got accepted in a Litmag (technically a Zine, CoinOperated Press to be precise) for the first time today, and outside of being thoroughly excited to announce that my humble flier will be included in their next Zine, Dungeons and Dragons Part 2. (Learn more about it on the following link)

I just want to say that looking back, I think a lot of my opinions about my own creative work is based off of like, no one really praising me for my writing. Like I didn't keep writing because people said that I was doing great or good or was talented or whatever, I kept writing because I wanted to get to that point, in spite of the lack of praise not because of it.

Hell, my mother was basically radio silent on my writing after noting that my very first work, the weird fugue state nanowrimo novel that's lost to the sands of time was, and I'm quoting here, "At least he has good grammar." Admittedly I kinda avoided showing her stuff after that, but still.

Outside of her and my even less present father there was my brother who was barely present in my teenage years, and so I basically had jack all for validation outside of an RPing community I immediately antagonized by being an attention seeking edgy teenager who fired out a self insert the GM immediately recognized somehow.

So while it gave me an easy way to keep writing and a sense of community which genuinely helped me practice and learn the craft among other things, it also meant that I didn't really get praise? Or when I did it was from someone close enough to me personally that my brain could immediately dismiss them and their opinions as being invalid as they are tainted by other people's impressions of me as a person.

I think the one bit of praise I registered as genuine was when people said they had fun in the complete mess of a Shadowrun world plot I ran in that RP which is really just a high I've been chasing ever since with every tabletop game I have ever run.

And I couldn't rely on internal validation either because I spent literal years thinking that I was somehow getting worse over time because for some fucking reason I measured that shit based off of output as in the amount of words and paragraphs written down on (virtual) paper as opposed to like, actual quality.

And how hard it was to write, which uhhh, honestly writing has never really gotten easier for me, like I am far more aware of what constitutes 'good' writing now, but it's not like the actual process has gotten much easier, and honestly as the years went on I ended up constraining my own creativity more in vague pursuit of 'better, more respectable and praiseworthy writing'.

Which meant that on top of the tyranny of time eating away at my ability to remember how difficult it was to write in the first place, I had a growing list of hangups and fears that meant that I could always refer back to some past paragraphs I think are real zingers and go, "Damn, where did I go wrong? How am I worse than I use to be?" while ignoring the veritable sea of word vomit, every little thing I did to piss other people off, and the fact that I unironically just naturally obtained more responsibilities as I grew up and obtained a job that slowly crushed my will to live that just made it harder to sit down and write LMAO.

Now I'd love to say that I've thrown of all of my chains, learned to write the proper way, and focused my life entirely towards mastering the craft without interruptions, or that this one acceptance has fulfilled my lifelong desire for validation from a complete stranger once and for all.

Really all I have to say about all this is what you read at the top, "man it sucks to be me but I'm built different," I am in more ways than one no longer the same man who started writing just to have something to do in November, nor am I the man who sat down and chose to make himself when told to make absolutely anything he could want to be.

But then again I am the woman who started whooping and whollering and going, "OLE OLE OLE" and praising God after reading this so like, maybe I'm not that different after all.

[freeuselandonorris]

hiiii i love your stuff SO so sososo much, sorry for just now accidentally unfollowing and refollowing instead of clicking the "ask" button I?? don't know?? what happened?? anyway!! 33, 39, and 43 if you want!! or any combination thereof :D

ahaha no worries, it happens!! and thank you 😘

33. Do you want to be published some day?

i already have! i’ve had some short stories published and a couple of poems. outside of fic i mostly write literary/contemporary fiction and cyberpunk/speculative fiction.

i would dearly love to have a novel published one day. i’ve been writing a cyberpunk novel about a tech start-up turned sex cult for a couple of years now which has been an exhausting but very fun process that has taught me a lot. whether it’ll ever see the light of day, who knows, but i’d like to hope so.

39. Share a snippet from a WIP

here’s the opening paragraphs of an appalling daniel/lando/oscar threesome i started after the daniel.jpg photos, which i am chipping away at slowly but greatly enjoying:

Vegas, baby. It’s a cesspit. A monument to money: spending it, losing it, making it back, and all the terrible and fun things you can buy with it. Sex, drugs, cocktails strong enough to strip the top layer of skin off your tongue. It’s tacky as all get-out, fake as hell. A pink plastic dildo compared to an honest-to-god flesh and blood fuck. Basically all of humanity’s worst impulses dialled up to 11 and squeezed into 350 square kay-ems. Daniel fucking loves it.

He finishes explaining all this to Lando with a bit of a flourish, and then zips up and goes to wash his hands.

and here’s a little snippet from the next chapter of that one from work can come over on monday night, a scene i wrote almost entirely because i was desperately entertained by the idea of george taking the register with a clipboard at GPDA meetings:

“Alright, Piastri,” he says when he sees Oscar, smiling and standing up to shake his hand. “Good work today. Those upgrades are looking sharp.”

“Yeah, cheers,” Oscar says, sliding into one of the chairs next to Albon, who’s nursing a hot drink in a paper cup and already looks bored. “Perfect way to celebrate, this is.”

Alex gives him a sidelong smile, while George frowns very slightly, eyebrows pinching together like he can’t figure out if Oscar’s joking or having a go.

“Definitely my ideal way to spend a Saturday night,” Alex agrees, taking another sip of whatever’s in his cup and wrinkling his nose. “Christ, can nobody in this place make a decent cup of tea?”

The room is slowly filling up, and George cranes his head to count off the numbers, ticking off names against a register on his clipboard. Oscar stifles a smile.

43. Do you take a sadistic joy in whumping your characters, or are you more the "If you hurt them I would kill everyone and then myself" kind of person?

it depends on your definition of hurt! i definitely take a sadistic joy in hurting them in a kinky way sometimes, but i’m no good at writing full-on angst or even really hurt/comfort. i do tend to put some struggles into my fics, especially the longer ones, because otherwise the plot can drag, but i don’t especially look forward to doing it other than in the sense that it’s a good writing exercise to imagine how the blorbos would react to emotionally tricky situations. this is especially fun with F1 drivers are they are generally emotionally stunted.

it also depends a lot on the character, because some of them (charles, george, jev) are very emotionally intense and prone to self-flagellation which means it’s both canon and satisfying to make them struggle, as in beautiful one day, perfect the next for instance. others, like daniel or oscar or max, are various flavours of repressed and/or not emotionally demonstrative and so it’s interesting for me to think about how they would react — both outwardly and inwardly — to difficult situations, like daniel’s veering between denialism and the odd flash of reluctant maturity in you know how sticky it gets, or oscar’s tendency to compartmentalise and make lando think he’s uninterested in ‘this one from work…’

thank you for askinggg ❤️

get to know your fic writer!