#/emotions are the weakest part of man you could say/

[life-winners-liveblog]

Oh, well in that case Grian, good news! Pesky Bird and Regret always end tragically! Just because I said they find their way back to each other doesn't mean they get a happily ever after.

There, better or worse? :)

P.S. you can call me Crescent

- Crescent <3

Grian: So we were just doomed huh... It's conforting in a way to know that we couldn't have done anything different that we didn't fail because of our inability and yet It's also... depressing.

Uh I hate feelings.

[sylusjinwoon]

{ 131 }

pillowtalk.

jinwoo sung x fem.reader

you woke up suddenly, feeling groggy as your eyes slowly began to adjust to the darkness that covers your room. only a sliver of moonlight was seen, casting a faint, pale blue glow from your open window.

and yet, your eyes could not even be bothered to bask in its beauty. instead, you divert your attention towards your beloved boyfriend, currently sleeping next to you.

the sight of him being so vulnerable made you smile. sung jinwoo had always been a messy sleeper, with his hair all mussed against the plush pillows while a trail of drool was seen against the corner of his lips. a soft giggle escapes from your parted lips as you gently wipe away at it with the corner of your blanket.

if only the hunter association could see him now, they probably would have never believed that such a powerful man could sleep so... peacefully.

jinwoo exuded none of his powers as a monarch in this peaceful moment- you catching a tiny glimpse of this snapshot of his life. no daggers or poisoned blades were clutched tightly within his hands-

he had no glowing eyes flashing purple that masks his stormy grey gaze, which were now only covered by thin lids that moved in tune to his dreams.

no, for in this moment, he was free- free to be his true self when it was just you and him.

a sudden urge to speak to him was felt bubbling against your throat, and even though jinwoo was sleeping; couldn't even hear what you were saying-

you had to get this off your chest.

"jinwoo sung... when you're with me... you don't have to act like the shadow monarch, or take on the title of the strongest in the world..."

you bask in his gentle snores, reaching out to brush back his hair before continuing.

"i just wanted to reassure you, that you have no reason to be that way around me. when you're with me, you can act silly; you can act scared and anxious... you can tell me all of your fears... and i'll still love you."

it was as though a weight had been lifted off of your shoulders when you spoke those words to him. you smile, brushing against his strong cheekbones with the back of your hand, ready to fall back asleep-

when you were suddenly gripped by jinwoo's powerful grasps. his large hand encircles your slender wrists, making you gasp in response when he pulls you towards his chest.

his hold on you was tight, with the tall hunter practically crushing you to his chest. jinwoo's voice, still hoarse from sleep, manages to murmur to you when he presses his lips against your forehead.

"i know... and for that, i love you for it."

you began to blush when he says to you.

"i remember it well... how you were with me even when i was known as the weakest hunter..."

jinwoo pulls away, his sleepy, grey eyes looking deeply into yours. "and you, my love, will be the only one who can see me when i am the most vulnerable."

"jinwoo..."

your hands cling to the front of his shirt, feeling him place a chaste kiss against your lips.

"if anyone were to try and kill me... then my enemies know that they need to use you... you could stab me in the heart, and i'd still love you."

jinwoo chuckles darkly while pressing another kiss against your lips, his words making you cry because of how deeply his devotion ran for you.

"you're my world... my better half, the light to my darkness... the other side of me."

jinwoo sighs before laying back in bed, taking you with him as he plays with your strands of hair. feeling overwhelmed with emotion, you tell him.

"i love you."

"i love you too, you adorable, mushy love of mine. now... sleep."

you heed his gentle command, seeming to slump within his arms automatically, your eyelids turning heavier as you slowly closed them. as your breathing slowly evens out, alerting him of your sleeping state, jinwoo felt greatly amused by this when he brings you closer into his embrace, placing a final kiss against your forehead in response.

perhaps he would show you that pretty diamond ring he kept tucked away inside one of his drawers, just to see you smiling and happy once more.

a.n. - happy belated birthday, jinwoo sung. this was written as a gift from me to you to let you know that you are greatly loved by me, too. mwah mwah 🥰

all stories are written by rei; reposts, translations, and plagiarism are not allowed.

[heliza24]

Armand and Unbreakable Cycles

So (perhaps unsurprisingly at this point) I have a TON of Armand thoughts after yesterday’s episode. Specifically I want to talk about the function of the 1790s section, and how it perfectly illuminates the cycle of maladaptive behavior that Armand is caught up in and the difference between his stated wants and his actual needs. I think the setup we saw in this episode will also be crucial to understanding how Dubai plays out, so I want to talk about that too.

I know a lot of people love the show and TVC because of Lestat, and there’s some frustration that Lestat was presented in a way that was untrue or filtered. But I really think you have to view this episode as a lens into Armand, which we in turn need in order to understand Louis. Everyone has someone similar to Lestat’s role in Armand’s life; an ex or a situationship or a former friend who takes up so much real estate in your brain because of their outsized impact  on you, who probably never thinks of you in return. We give these people a role in the story we craft of how we became who we are. That narrativizing is kind of the only way to understand yourself and survive (especially if you’re going to live forever). So I don’t doubt that there are things that Armand says that are untrue, or exaggerated, or twisted in his favor. But I do think the important part is the emotional impact his encounter with Lestat had on him, and I do think he’s being honest about those emotions.

(That being said I am of course very excited to see these events play out again in season 3 from Lestat’s POV. Don’t fuck it up AMC!!!)

The main thing that the flashback does is set up the cycle that Armand finds himself in over and over again. He consistently finds himself clinging to control in an institution he is starting to lose faith in, and is then shaken out of his complacency by a new love that seems– falsely– to rescue him.

Depending on how they adapt his very early backstory, I think we can probably assume that this pattern started in childhood for him. Marius rescued him from being forced into sex work, and seemed to offer a much better life. But in reality he was just grooming Armand. (Thanks @toriangeli for correcting a piece of my Marius lore here!)

In Paris he continues maintaining a strictly enforced life of misery for the coven long after he stops believing in it himself, and (by his telling at least) he was grateful to Lestat for having the strength to end it when he could not. It’s so clear why Armand falls for Lestat. Lestat’s refusal to live in shame, his love of the arts, his ability to exist amongst humanity (at least when he is on stage). Lestat is of the world, while Armand and the coven hide from it. 

The reason I think it is so important that we got to see this play out in Paris is the way it illuminates the sometimes tricky relationship between Louis and Armand. Once again, Armand is the head of an institution that operates on strict and oppressive rules. Once again, we can feel Armand’s enthusiasm for this system waning (and see it reflected physically in the lack of ticket sales and general shabbiness of the theatre). And once again, Armand is swept off his feet by this new vampire who refuses to join, who loves humanity, and who has a passion for art. Louis is very much of the world. He refuses to be pinned down into coven life. Armand can’t resist taking what looks like the opportunity for escape in Louis’s love. 

What I think is so fascinating about this cycle is that it allows Armand to remain passive. He never has to be the one to make the hard call to walk away from a kind of life that is no longer serving him. He just has to wait for the next gorgeous man to arrive to deliver him.  As he says to Louis, “those with the most power are often the weakest”. His status and power in the coven prevents him from changing his own life. Or at least that’s what he believes. 

Thinking about this helped me understand the dynamic of what goes down in the sewers, when Armand threatens Louis’s life. Assad says in the behind the scenes clips that Armand goes into that encounter very set on killing Louis, and I believe him.  So I rewatched it a couple of times trying to understand when, and why, Armand changes his mind. The shift occurs when they start talking about Claudia, and Armand says that her mind will break apart soon because she was made too young. Louis says “you don’t know her,” and Armand responds, “I don’t have to. I’ve seen it before. I’ve seen too much.” That admission– I’ve lived through this cycle multiple times before, it is painful, and I don’t want to do it again– is what shifts Armand from being ready to kill Louis to letting him go. 

There is of course an irony here; mentally ill and child vampires do not necessarily need to go mad. Generally they go mad at least partially because of Armand’s actions. And as we’ve already discussed, Armand going to sleep with Louis instead of killing him is really just a repeat of his actions with Lestat. He isn’t really breaking a cycle at all. But I think in that moment he believes that he is. Maybe he even believes that by being with a man who enacted great violence on Lestat, he can drown out the love and anguish he still feels about Lestat. At the very least, Louis has also loved Lestat and can therefore understand Armand’s narration of his own life in a way that not many other people can. 

Ok, so now we are caught up on the past. Let’s talk about Dubai, and how once again Armand is engaged in the exact same cycle of behavior.

The penthouse is Armand’s new coven. He maintains perfect order by controlling the physical environment and shaping Louis’s moods and memories. But just like before, this way of life is no longer serving Armand (or Louis for that matter). You can see that the spark between them has died, only rekindled as a kind of performance when they are in front of Daniel. When Armand is telling Daniel about Lestat destroying the coven, and Daniel accuses Armand of leading Lestat to the coven intentionally… he might as well be talking about himself. Armand has let Daniel into his fortress, and there is at least a part of him that wants whatever destruction Daniel is about to bring into his life.

Daniel fits Armand’s type completely. Daniel is of course more human than Lestat or Louis could ever be. He knows about telenovelas and Bollywood and all other types of art. He’s whipsmart and inquisitive and is not going to let Armand get away with passively maintaining his old order. He’s of the world in a way that Armand finds irresistible. 

I specifically found it interesting how many of the “Great Laws” Armand would be breaking by being with Daniel. Granted, Armand isn’t in the coven anymore when he meets Daniel. But I imagine old habits are hard to break, and being with Daniel would break almost all of them. Daniel is a mortal Armand has revealed his true nature to and allowed to live, Daniel has written about and exposed vampire secrets, and (if we’re looking at book canon) Daniel begs for the dark gift himself, a thing only the maitre is supposed to be able to approve. 

Assuming that a chunk of Devil’s Minion did happen in the 1970s, something interrupted that love affair, before it could settle back down into a new but still oppressive status quo. Something prompted Armand to actively break his pattern of behavior and erase Daniel’s memories. I think it’s impossible not to think about Nicki’s example here, especially after seeing the 1790s flashback. I’m going to assume that 1970s Daniel was struggling with addiction and mental health issues in a way that may have been reminiscent of Nicki. How intentional was Armand in withdrawing because he saw what vampire involvement- his involvement- did to Nicki? How much was his treatment of Daniel a reparation for past mistakes he made?

These last couple of paragraphs are speculation, really, because we won’t know exactly what Armandaniel looked like until Ep 5. But I think it was crucial that we saw this part of Armand’s story before we see San Francisco, because his actions with Daniel will make more sense if we can compare them with the love affairs of Armand’s past.

Regardless, I do think the disparity between what Armand claims to want (maintaining the status quo) vs what he actually wants (to be liberated by a romantic partner) vs what I think he actually needs (to take action himself, instead of waiting for someone to do it for him) is going to play a role in the way Dubai unfolds. I don’t know that Armand will ever get to the point where he’s actively able to break out of the cycle he’s in, because this is Interview with the Vampire, the show of fucked up gothic romances. Vampire life is a series of bad decisions! It’s a weird arrested development you never quite get out of despite living for forever! So it would make total sense if the ending of Dubai mimics the ending of the Children of Satan and the Paris Coven in an unhealthy way. But regardless, it’s gonna be a fun ride, and I can’t wait to see it.

[remembrancer-of-heresy]

Replica (Part 4)

Summary: The iron cage has slammed shut and you will never leave it.

Perturabo/fem!Reader

Warnings: incest (kinda), possessive behavior, manipulation, humiliation, smut (finally :D), dubious consent

Word count: 2601

Finally, after a while, I was able to finish part 4. Perhaps I will write part 5 with the daemon prince, but I need some time for it. Updated the images (what I love about Tumblr is that you reblog the old version of the post, but by going to the original you can see the new version, it's very convenient). Specifically re-read The Hammer of Olympia for this one. I hope you enjoy it, it was a lot of fun to write.

Song: Mitski - Washing Machine Heart

You still remember the first time Perturabo kicked you out because you mentioned Dorn. For two weeks he did not meet with you and did not have a heart-to-heart talk, moving away as far as possible. You thought that the primarch would do the same now, but the very next day he summoned you to his chambers.

You felt awkward for the first hour, but gradually relaxed. But still wondered why the Iron Lord behaved so strangely in the baths. Of course Perturabo was hard pressed by his responsibilities, but his sudden rage was unusual. You haven't done or said anything wrong.

Maybe he changed his mind about you? He realized that he became attached to you when a primarch should not have weaknesses. Does he see you as more than a mortal friend? Does he think of you as a sister or... something more?

These thoughts made you blush, and you hid your face in the book while Perturabo worked on the drawings. No, this is unthinkable. Of course, you knew that the primarchs had families on their planets. Parents, adoptive siblings and friends. But could they have romantic feelings for mortals?

And did you want to become his lover?

You could barely restrain yourself from jumping out of your chair and rushing around the room due to the abundance of thoughts. Feeling a strange sensation, you raised your head and with a gasp saw the attentive gaze of the primarch. You swore he could hear your heartbeat.

“Very exciting poems” - you tried to justify yourself by telling half-truths. You really liked these verses and it would be better if the lord did not know your thoughts. - “I never thought that I would love Olympic poetry about love so much.”

The primarch continued to glare at you and you shifted nervously in your chair. Did you say something bad? Since Perturabo called you, it means he is not offended or angry. But why does every minute with him last like an hour? Why is the room so hot, and the mere sight of a man makes you tremble?

“You can call me Bo.” - the primarch said quietly before turning to the table. - “During this time, I became attached to you almost like a sister. So why not make our communication even more... close.”

You smiled softly, accepting such a wonderful offer with all your gratitude. Your heart was happy. Enough time had passed to experience grief and yet you missed your parents and brothers. It was nice to feel part of the family again. Even if it is so unusual.

You involuntarily rolled your shoulders, throwing off the recent strange hot sensations. It’s as if you felt someone else’s emotions and desires that are unusual for you. But as always, you tried to brush aside the annoying thoughts and continue living in your “dome.”

***

You continued to live carefree, not knowing the sorrows of mere mortals, from time to time forgetting about the monstrous actions of the primarch. He was terrible in anger and did not value people, regarding them only as a piece of meat. He despised the weakest sons, “covered with rust” and unworthy to bear the title of Iron Warriors. He pumped out all the resources from the planets that came his way.

He had told you about his deeds before, but only the tiniest bits. Enough to frighten you and force you to obey him in everything. But you spent much more time talking about more abstract topics. Beautiful and creative. But Fulgrim's betrayal and journey into the Eye of Terror took their toll.

Now the primarch began to pour out his soul to you more and more often, sharing the terrifying methods of the art of war and enslavement. He spoke about the crimes of other legions and the warp space that you recently visited. Perturabo didn't seem to care what you thought about what was happening in the galaxies. You are just an ordinary mortal girl who will not survive in this world without him.

But you were truly frightened when the iron lord told you about the betrayal of Horus, the demons of the warp, the World Eaters and the daemon prince Angron, with whom Inron Warriors would go to their greatest battle. Siege of Terra. The man saw the horror you were in, watched as tears flowed down your cheeks and how awareness gradually came.

“I understand how difficult it is to find out all this. But nothing can be done. The False Emperor must be overthrown, and we will rule the Imperium as we deserve.” - the primarch, grinning darkly, stroked your head. - “I promised to take care of you. And I will continue to cherish you. Nobody cares about you except me. You would have become a slave or fodder for fuel in the hands of my brothers or continuing to live under my father's rule. Without me, you are a mere mortal girl, one of trillions. You are nobody. Nothing."

The man’s words hurt painfully, and yet you pressed closer to him. Thoughts swirled in my head. Your home world was far from the Solar System and yet your life was quite acceptable. You had a loving family, you did not live in poverty, and working as a chronicler was your long-time dream. Rogal Dorn brought your world into harmony, improving life on the planet and you were glad to become part of the Imperium.

But now it was just a dream. A deception. No, the primarch could not lie to you. The Imperium is rotten and sooner or later an unenviable fate would await you. The world was full of dangers and you could not resist these horrors. You would have been torn to pieces, gutted and eaten alive long ago if it weren't for Perturabo. He saved you. If he didn’t need new personal slaves, if you weren’t noticed, then you would... you would...

“Bo,” you whispered chokedly, swallowing tears and trying to calm your breathing. Fragile fingers squeezed the iron lord's tunic with force. - "I'm scared."

The man stopped stroking and you held your breath until you felt the touch of fingers on your chin. The primarch gently lifted your head, forcing you to look straight into your eyes. You could only gasp in horror and the feeling of safety next to Perturabo.

“You mortals do not obey me. You don't know what's good for you. There is no peace and kindness in this world. Only violence.” - your lips trembled and you let out a strangled squeak, feeling the grip on your face intensify. Almost possessively, the man held you close to him, never breaking eye contact. - “You promised that you wouldn’t leave me. So continue to listen to me. Love me and I will build a perfect world for you.”

You cannot stand the excess of emotions and, sobbing, bury your face in the primarch’s chest. Some part of you knew he was fooling himself. He wants to destroy and recreate everything anew just for himself. And you were part of this vast plan, a chaotic and terrifying dream, recreated from the darkest feelings of a primarch.

But the world around you was disgustingly cruel and merciless. You won’t be able to take a single step, the monsters will immediately destroy your body and mind. You didn't have anyone. No family, no friends. There are no enemies left, and the strangers have disappeared. There was no human warmth around you and you didn’t notice how you were left alone in an iron cage. Only Bo was with you. You only had him.

And if Terra must fall for the Iron Lord to be happy, then so be it.

***

He lost. The opportunity to rise was taken away from him. He was deprived of his greatest triumph. The Solar War ended in victory only thanks to Perturabo. He alone bore on his shoulders the responsibility for the entire success of the traitors while the rest of the legions indulged in senseless violence and debauchery.

But the worst thing was that Horus did not allow him to storm the Imperial Palace. He was not allowed Dorn's creation to be destroyed. He was not allowed his once beloved father to laugh in the face, who preferred another son to him. The warrior turned out to be a slave of the Chaos Gods, having lost his power and strength. And his brothers would not have been able to contribute to the war if not for the Iron Lord.

He's so tired of it. Complete disappointment. Retreating to Mars, Perturabo continued to oversee the ongoing Siege of Terra. Rage and resentment overwhelmed him and he destroyed everything that came in his way. He did not spare his creations, nor his slaves, nor his sons. He was humiliated. Again.

He hated them all. And the Emperor, and the loyalist brothers and traitors. They all mocked him. No, that will not do. The Warmaster may win this war, but he won't be celebrating for long. Perturabo will not let them rest on his laurels, oh no. He will rise above them all. The Primarch was humanity's greatest creation, but that was not enough. He needed more strength, more power. He will become a deadly deity who will crush everything in his path. All galaxies will obey him. Everyone will fear and respect him.

He will rule over everyone. And with him his Legion. And with him...

The man stopped abruptly, sucking in a breath and slowly lowering the hammer. Containing his emotions, he slowly walked towards her chambers. How long had he been trying to drown out his feelings, to deceive himself? How long and unsuccessfully have he tried to suppress this desire?

She was a fragile mortal, unworthy of his attention. But she had been a part of his life since his childhood. Crafty and smart, so kind and beautiful. She was weak, but so pleasant and sweet to the taste. Only she was allowed to see his soul hidden behind the iron. He told himself that he almost loved her like the Emperor... No, he loved her much more than his father. And the whole world.

The primarch slowly opens the door and sees you cowering next to the bed, trembling in horror. Of course, you now know about what is happening in the world and what sacrifices Perturabo makes to make your life enjoyable. Besides, you probably heard him raging with anger. Well, now you just have to calm him down.

“Bo?” - your voice trembles with surprise and you almost sigh with relief. You rise to your feet, but you can’t even take a step from the tension. - “Is it over? I-I heard how angry you were. Are you-”

“Take off.”

It's that simple. No confessions of feelings, no long conversations. The primarch did not want to wait any longer. He let you close enough to him. Why use unnecessary words when you can strengthen your connection in such a primitive but intriguing way? You freeze and open your mouth in surprise. Hands tug at the dress, unable to remove the fabric stuck to the body.

The primarch notices a blush on your cheeks. Embarrassment is an unnecessary quality, but he likes to see you in this state. It's quite charming. But he doesn't want to waste another minute. With sharp steps, the man approaches you and with one hand, forcefully tears your dress, exposing your body. You scream and try to cover yourself, but Perturabo grabs your hands, not letting you.

The man swallows, looking at your perfect forms. On your femininity. This is an ordinary human body, nothing special. He had seen naked people more than once, and females too. But you aroused him. The Emperor removed such base desires from the Astartes, but the Primarchs were a different matter. They experienced a greater range of emotions than mere mortals. They knew and saw more. But the war for humanity and service for the Emperor did not give them the opportunity to experience carnal pleasures. To become attached to mortals in a different way.

But now Perturabo no longer serves anyone but himself. And he could do whatever he wanted. With these thoughts, the man begins to touch you, no, caress you. That's what it's called. His hands on your shoulders and waist. Touching your lips, kissing your breasts and stomach. Listening to your breathing. Lower and lower until it reaches your thighs. Primarchs grew up in flasks; they were not born naturally between their mother's legs. And you... you would have been a wonderful mother to his real sons.

The man throws you on the bed and takes off his clothes. It’s good that he took off his armor first. He couldn't stand waiting that long. The primarch climbs on top of you and is displeased to see the fear in your eyes. Because of the difference in height? Women can endure even more than that, and sharing the bed with a primarch should be the greatest honor. Especially with him.

Or is it because of the blood of slaves and sons that got on his face? Still fresh, it dripped onto your body and you shuddered every time. In truth, he doesn't care. Now you are afraid, but soon you will dissolve in him and thank him for this.

Perturabo abruptly enters you, tearing you apart and looking with ecstasy at how your face stretches out in pain. He feels your blood and cannot wonder if he is your first or if your tender body is simply not intended for a primarch. Even if it's not meant to be, you have to accept it.

“Be quiet. Control yourself. I don't want to hear your screams. I don’t want to see you hurt.” - He wants it in some way. Make you suffer for what you did with him. The man moves his hips and you bite your lip. - “I just want to hear your moans. You have to beg me for it.”

The Iron Lord continues to slowly fill you, peering into your face until he notices dramatic changes. How your mouth opens slightly and your eyes close from the rush of feelings.

“Bo, I”

"You were right. I crave love. I want love. And you have to give it to me, you have to.” - the primarch accelerates, not allowing you to get a word in. “They underestimate me, but it only makes things worse for them. I am the grandest, sister. I am superior to everyone in this world. I'm not a boy, I'm a man. And now you see it. You see it.”

Perturabo leans down with difficulty and begins to kiss your neck, leaving hickeys. He remembers the sound of crunching, he remembers blood and dead eyes. It wasn't you. It was a decrepit old woman who called herself you and dared to condemn him. Daring to mock him. And you, crying with pleasure, know your place. So continue to remain at his feet and he will show you a perfect world.

The man groans and pronounces your names, continuing to whisper about his grievances and shout about imminent divinity. Until he finally fills you and sinks onto the bed with a sigh. Burying your small figure with his massive body. Completely unaware of your tears and misunderstanding in your eyes. How a drop of love mixes with true horror.

But if he saw it, it wouldn't change anything. You belonged to him. You were his and only his. The iron cage was finally closed. And now the bird will sing only to him.

[nonbinarypirat]

Heyyy so I saw you were open to questions and doing commentary!! So I was wondering do you think Azz and Iruma’s relationship is different than Clara’s and Iruma’s? And and also would love to hear any love trio thoughts🙏 tysm !!!!

this is a great question!! as a spoiler, i am deeply in love and invested in the soulmate group and love the connections they have together and on one on one ways. yes! i do think they are different in many ways! Here's a little break down on my thoughts on their relationships :) .Get ready for word vomit, i went overboard

Azz and Iruma: Azz and Iruma relationship is one of deep personal openess. That isn't to say that they leave Clara out of their personal feelings, they do, but both of them lacked the normal carefree freedom as kids. Azz because of his brilliance and Iruma because of his parents.

Due to this, we see they often fall into sharing thoughts and anxieties with each other in their solo interactions. Azz and Iruma have also known each other the longest, at least a week or two went by before meeting Clara. So Azz met Iruma VERY much when Iruma was at his weakest moment, when he was so confused about the world he found himself in. And despite the weridness with their relationship at the start, Azz has always been there with Iruma, he's the third person he ever met here. With Azz having toned down is extreme admiration to Iruma this has made these moments possible between them.

I also don't want to make it seem like they don't joke with each other, we have seen that they do. They have both changed so much when it comes to having fun thanks to Clara. Now, they are able to have a shopping day and be silly. But without Clara to really push the envelope when it comes to fun, they have more calculated fun.

Clara and Iruma: Very much a playful cutesy relationship. (I honestly hope we get more interactions of just the two of them in the future.) Clara represents the childhood Iruma never had, never could have, and therefore allows him to explore childlike wonder. How to open up in more expressive ways, carefree exploration, amd fun to the fullest extent. And by doing so, Clara is able to understand Iruma's moods better than most since we let our guards down completely during moments of pure relaxation.

We see this when Clara immediately saw Iruma was upset and needed to let out his emotions and just be a child. She knows when Iruma is genuinely happy and when he's stressed and doesn't know how to express it. And we have seen that Iruma greatly appreciates Clara for letting him experience and understand playing, something he never had the time to do before. And by being around Iruma, Clara has been able to develop strong moral and logical thinking. Clara has always been a character that is more aware of what's going on then she let's on. But I think the childlike part got in the way of full development in this aspect of her character.

With Iruma, she is able to explore and understand more complex ideas and thinking. One issue with being so isolated like Clara was is that she never got to explore any type of critical reasoning. These things can only be developed by interacting with others. And so, in the beginning Clara was very short sighted and immature. Now, she not only has the love trio, she also has the misfits and it's not clear if she would have been able to create this friend circle without meeting Iruma. She has grown so much as a character and I love seeing her be mature and willing to make sacrifices (putting aside Iruma time because Azz needed it more) while still being chaotically happy.

Love Trio: What can I say that probably hasn't been screamed about in a different post. They are soulmates, deeply connected to each other in every way and bring out the best in each other. They don't "complete" each other, more like they allow for each other to be themselves to the fulllest. They all default to too serious/angry (Azz), too hyper/inconsiderate (Clara) and too in his own way/"yes man" (Iruma) when apart and together, make up for their weaknesses and boost their strengths.

Each of them has been important to the other's growth. They all have their place in the love trio and deeply love their roles too. The love trios relationship is based on deep trust, mutual (and healthy) dependency, and joy. By being with each other, they have created a safe space to allow expressiveness and vulnerablity while still leaving room for fun and happiness.

And it's so cute to see how close and personal they all get. Especially Asmodeus who always felt more standoffish to physical affection in the beginnings, even with Iruma besides a hand of the shoulder. As the story progresses, we see them be more comfortable with each other and that shows in their physical closeness. It's just a wonderful design choice on the artistic side of things and perfect for showing them care more for each other. On a personal note, my headcannon is a queerplatonic poly relationship (though sometimes I ship it as a full on romantic relationship) so it's even cuter to me.

anyway, those are my thoughts and interpretations of the relationships! since this post become super duper large, I will make a seperate post about Azz and Clara and link it in the comments because their relationship is shaping up to be very cute too and not just iruma focused :)

[chuuya-fan-page]

Off-Brand Tiktok Chuugly worse than the original! (NOT CLICKBAIT!!!! GONE WRONG!!!!!)

I dunno how BSD fan's takes could get even more braindead, uhhhh, but they did? Which is, really cool. A has already discussed this individuals posts before, but this one is just...

Hot take, neither ship will be canon because BSD is not a romance centric series!!!!!!!

Well this is just blatantly wrong.

"Dazai was never intimate with Chuuya!"

...Sure thing!

Ignore that a big part of soukoku's bond is that despite Dazai's aversion to physical contact and his alienation from the world around him he allows Chuuya to touch him. Whatever you want.

"He only saw Chuuya as a monster finding his past, that's why he hated him!"

No. Dazai and Chuuya's conflict in Fifteen arises from their opposing ideologies. Dazai plans ahead, Chuuya is brash and jumps into things, which irritates Dazai, this is something he dislikes as well in Akutagawa. On the other hand, Chuuya has fought his whole life, whereas Dazai seems ready to give up, which is confronting to Chuuya and his mindset. This is where that "hatred" comes from.

Also the idea that Dazai saw Chuuya as monstrous is canonically incorrect. I don't even have to do any digging, Dazai says it outright (ty for not being difficult for once)

Dazai never doubted Chuuya's humanity. He never doubted it because he saw how complex a person Chuuya was and never thought he could be anything other than human.

The way Dazai acted with Sigma was partly because he wanted to help him, yes, but also because he was using him. Hello???? Also Dazai was hardly intimate with Sigma, he drags him down at one point, and whether you're going on the anime or the manga, grabs his face to stop him from literally DYING.

Some of y'all, istg.

Partly true!

Dazai sees Sigma as human!

Please refer to my last piece of evidence on the topic of Chuuya.

Dazai had already nullified corruption when he cupped Chuuya cheek. That was just a moment of pure intimacy and trust between them!

None of this changes the fact that Dazai, a man who has a metaphorical wall around his emotions and his body, allowed Chuuya to sleep on his lap. He could have moved him, it wasn't risky at all, he didn't need to hold Chuuya still on his lap like that, minimal contact was enough, but Dazai allowed more.

Buddy, if he wanted to kill him. He had plenty of chances, they were partners for a long time and Chuuya's literally been passed on his lap before, he could have killed him then, when he was vulernable and out. Then there's corruption that if Dazai doesn't get to him in time to nullify it, he literally dies. If Dazai really wanted to kill him, he could have. Their so-called murder attempts are not serious and they don't do it genuinely trying to harm e/o. The last one is just what?? Like I said before, if he wanted to kill e/o he could have just not got to him in time after using corruption. Corruption is always last resort, double black doesn't always use it. The memorizing breathing patterns s because they were partners and spent a lot of time together and know e/o better than anyone else.

Dazai has had ample opportunity to kill Chuuya, he's been around him at his weakest and lowest points. There is no reason why Chuuya would still be alive if Dazai truly wanted him dead.

bro what.

Corruption is a last-ditch effort that has only ever been used sparingly and against enemies that couldn't otherwise be defeated. Guivre, for example, was a singularity beast out of control. Lovecraft was literally CTHULU. Steinbeck himself said there was no hurting Lovecraft from the outside, and that lil bomb Dazai hid in his cast was not doing it for them.

Again.

If Dazai wanted Chuuya dead. He. Would. Be. Dead.

I straight up don't know what this point is supposed to mean. Dazai shows disgust for Fyodor's beliefs at some point? Like is that what she's referring to??? I dunno, lack of evidence, overruled.

That's...not...

I have no words for this oml.

Like dude, acting has to come from some genuine feelings um.

"Chuuya dehumanized him multiple times" I'm genuinely sick of people taking that dhc scene as dehumanization. Dazai was being ignorant and being disrespectful to the dead, who for context, was a guy who helped Chuuya out with the verlaine situation in sb. He said "oh wouldn't this be good since an executive poistion is open now?" like who wouldn't be pissed by that? So he punches him, because Chuuya's lived a life of survival, so that punch was probably instinct. The words he says after to Dazai was not dehumanization! "I'm human too" "No one would believe that"

People take this as dehumanization, but he practically saying "no one would believe you are human when you are belitting human life like this, so start acting like the human being you are" basically it was a way of saying of dazai's inhumane behavior was shitty and was basically a wake up call for him. He's seen Dazai act humane before, stormbringer was a prime example of that when Dazai gave him a choice, so he knows dazai is capable of acting humane. It's notably even said when Dazai gives Chuuya a few minutes to think about it: "It was an expression dazai never makes."

And um, blind trust is not always good. Sigma and Dazai are in a life or death situation, so he kinda has to trust and put faith in Dazai even though he is incredibly wary of him due to his experiences with fyodor. But Chuuya and Dazai have known e/o for a long time, so logically they will have more trust than sigma and Dazai.

-T and A

[babybatscreationsv2]

I watched Deadpool and Wolverine and I have thoughts

Spoiler buffer for people with notifications on

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First of all

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ELEKTRA

I cannot believe I saw my girl Elektra again and yes I would have cried and thrown up if they killed her. If Blade and Gambit are both getting a new movie where's Elektra's?? I say we riot. And I'm only a little bit kidding. Spider-Man needs a new mother figure after all. How about an Elektra/Jessica Drew team up? OMG I'm just realizing they could have put her in the canceled Shang-Chi film. Does the Hand never face off with the Ten Rings? You would think a couple of a martial artist gangs would have a rivalry. We could have been shipping Elektra and Xialing 😭

Okay actual movie thoughts

Yes the car scene was in fact a sex scene and I don't even think that's even debatable. You can't tell me Hugh Jackman threw his head back like that and groaned like he was fucking cumming and it wasn't an analogy for sex and then following it up with a pan away/sunset shot? It was 100% an ode to the many gay writers who hid their desire to penetrate another man through swords, guns, and fangs. Bram Stoker would be proud

Do not watch this movie if you're uncomfortable with inappropriate sexual touching, or language for that matter. Everyone's getting sexually assaulted and it's a joke every time, but at least they call it what it is I guess?

I feel like the amount of graphic sex jokes was to cover for the fact that they were told not to joke too much about drug use. Although choosing to joke about how they can't do coke was possibly my favorite joke, don't ask me why

They sure did let that little people joke in there though... yikes. Disney is really begging people with dwarfism to jump their asses this year

The weakest part of the film was definitely the villain dialog. I guess they didn't want any big plot twisty reveals because man these dudes came out monologing and like who asked? Nobody. Why are they talking so much?

I have a genuine love for Happy becoming the new Stan Lee cameo. I just love that man as a character and it feels right that he has a hand in everything.

I saw someone on here pouting about the photo of Tony and Peter together and how Peter's face was covered BUT ACTUALLY it's a running gag in the comics that Deadpool can't see Spider-Man's face or hear his name. Even if Peter takes his mask off right in front of him the "Marvel censors" hide it from Wade and I hope to god that's why they covered it because it'll be so damn funny if and when they're both in a film together

Speaking of funny, the comedy in this film was so well done. They poured most of the jokes out in the first act and left room for the movie and the characters to be taken seriously. I'm here praying that the other Marvel writers take notes because while I'm a very emotional person who requires comic relief to get through most movies without crying, we all know the humor in Marvel films is getting to be a bit much.

I was holding my breath during the big team up thinking it was going to be Deadpool 2/Suicide Squad all over again, but they actually got to have their hero moment and it was beautiful.

But WTF? Why did Blade and Gambit get a big moment where they show off their skills but Elektra gets half the screen time during the fight and her moment is just her kicking someone? She has magic ninja abilities?? She could have also done something cool?? The martial arts stuff was cool in her stand alone film, it doesn't impress in a crowd of people who know how to fight. At least let her skillfully throw her sais or something, damn.

And how good is Channing Tatum as Gambit? I'm not a Channing Tatum fan or anything, but damn does he nail it.

NICEPOOL I love Nicepool, I have no idea what Deadpool variants exist in the comics because I actually hate multiverse stuff that isn't spiderverse, BUT it's canon that if Deadpool were to stop killing people that he would become pretty again and I love that there's a universe where's he just insanely nice and handsome mostly because I don't think they would ever make a Spider-Man/Deadpool film so at least we acknowledged that this happens, sorta, they don't really talk about why he's pretty and our Deadpool isn't

I love how it was a Deadpool film, but also everyone got their moment. It was barely even about him. He was the vehicle through which Wolverine and Nova and Laura got to tell their stories and it worked really well

I also feel like Wade getting Johnny killed felt weird and mildly out of character. He's an asshole, not a sadist. There's a big difference. If they wanted him dead to get rid of Chris Evans and still have their cameo, it didn't have to be Wade's fault

Wade and Logan recognizing Chris's face as belonging to Steve also sets a precedent for RDJ playing Doom. (It also means that yes people in universe will recognize him and angst will happen, I'm still crossing my fingers that there's multiple Dooms)

I give the whole thing a 4/5 had a good time, few complaints

[idontknowreallywhy]

Estera - Ch 20 - Thread

Things are ticking along nicely aren’t they? Could so easily leave it there… but… nah, life isn’t that easy chaps.

It’s been a while since we last saw the rambling chaos that is (in my imagining at least) the inside of Scott’s head. So we shall have a little catch up with that. And a smidge of Estera’s too, just to keep it even.

Recrudescence (to which this is a sequel) and earlier chapters are here.

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The interior designer had done everything possible to make it not feel like a clinical setting but you only needed to come a couple of times before the high-end-hotel-lobby look developed an association with the reasons behind the reason you were there.

Scott sat in the waiting room and tried to lose himself in the wallpaper. John had managed to spend 7 minutes tracing a continuous line through the swirls from one side of the room to the other but frankly Scott didn’t have that sort of patience.

He sighed and looked up at the ceiling, casting his mind back to the time they had come to see Patricia together. It had been good. Awful. Genuinely awful. He shivered. But objectively a good thing. As she often said “It usually needs to get worse before it gets better”. He couldn’t help worry that sitting there and telling his younger brother of some of the horrors had made things more ‘worse’ than they needed to be, however. And then hearing John’s calm but clearly emotional description of witnessing his elder brother relive that time while feverish and incoherent…

Scott hissed quietly to himself. It went against everything he stood for. He was supposed to have been the strong one, he was supposed to have shielded them from all of that.

Too late now. His clear cut role as the protector had shifted irrevocably. He knew John, Virgil too, would now always feel more of a drive to look after him because they’d seen him at his worst, his weakest. He hated it. He hated it so much he wanted to burn the last three months from history and restore their innocent belief in their big brother’s invincibility again.

But.

The revelation had been what he saw in John’s eyes that afternoon.

The horror, he’d expected.

The simmering anger, yes.

But it was what he didn’t see but had dreaded for a decade if the truth ever escaped in this way - the disappointment, the pity. They were missing, miraculously, gloriously absent from his brother’s reaction. What he saw instead was respect and admiration and acceptance and it had blown his mind. The idea that he could so utterly fail to be what he was supposed to be and John would still look at him that way was… well. He guessed he’d be processing that one for a while yet.

Scott hadn’t told him everything though. Not the very darkest part. He’d said only what was necessary to explain what his little brother had been forced to endure with him. He hadn’t mentioned Her: His first great failure.

Then she’d exploded back into his life and it turned out that she wasn’t.

He hadn’t.

They… hadn’t.

Ten years of nightmares as his subconscious picked through what they’d told him and treated him to the lowlights. What she’d endured because of his arrogance in thinking he could make a difference. How much more painful and humiliating her death was thanks to him. He’d seen it so vividly he’d sometimes woken believing he’d somehow been the perpetrator, having to race to the bathroom as his stomach let him know it was as disgusted with him as his mind was.

He knew now his mistake had been to show weakness. His reaction had clearly tipped them off that this… THIS was a way to torture him where more conventional methods had been less than effective. He should have spotted the story became more embellished each time. Should have realised what they were doing. They’d even brought an interpreter to his cell, just to make absolutely sure he understood every last detail. The man had looked so sick, so disgusted by the words he was forced to say. He wondered what happened to the guy… if it ever kept him up at night too.

If only Scott could let him know it wasn’t true. They hadn’t… he hadn’t.

She wasn’t.

Because it meant everything. He blinked back tears as the relief washed over him yet again. If they’d only known it was much easier to make him cry with relief than with pain.

Nothing was immediate though, not even Thunderbird One and especially not the process of persuading his unconscious mind that things had changed. Probably 75% of the times an image of her came to mind it was… not a good one. As Virgil had suggested, every time it happened he tried to imagine her face as she’d sat across the table and teased him about the action figure. The little grin and flash of mischief in her eyes. But that memory was weak and fleeting compared to how reinforced the decade old ones were.

Which was why he was here to see Patricia.

Because he wanted to see Estera again.

Yes, of course it was partly to check she was ok… he was still worried about her. She still seemed very alone, although she had at least opened up a little in her messages he was concerned that might be her only outlet beyond the weekly half hour session with the state-provided counsellor. Oh, and the dog. Seemed like she talked to the dog a lot.

But the real, selfish reason was he needed to see her with his physical eyes again. To reinforce his belief she was real, that he wasn’t imagining it. So he could more easily picture her alive and happy. Hopefully then his subconscious would catch up and maybe sleep would be less… complicated. Was it ok to want to do something just because it would make him happier? People often said it was… he’d just never been convinced.

If she hadn’t been keen, he’d forget it. He wasn’t THAT selfish. But she seemed keen last time he mentioned it. She’d even seemed pretty pleased to hear from him when he’d accidentally called her in the middle of the night, once she’d gotten over the very Virgil-esque half-awake grumpiness. Scott had nearly called again several times since but couldn’t quite think of a good enough excuse and so had ended up channelling his desperation to know she was alright into another silly joke or a jibe about the British weather or asking after the kids in her class.

He had spectacularly failed to follow Patricia’s previous advice about not letting himself feel responsible for the woman. He already felt as though the fact Estera was alive was an invisible thread holding him together, keeping him steady, keeping him here. That… might not be ideal.

It was certainly going to be a different Patricia conversation to the usual. For once, he knew exactly what he wanted. The question he needed to get straight was: was it a good idea?

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The sky was a brilliant blue.

So very close to the shade she loved most of all, toned down perhaps a little by the faintest wisps of cloud lingering in the stratosphere. As she let the surgery door swing shut behind her and paused at the top of the ramp, the wind dropped to the merest breath as if the world was pausing, waiting for her next move.

“Look, see? The UK can manage sunny weather after all.”

Ah, she was doing it again. Chatting away in her head to the imaginary blue-eyed friend she’d carried with her so long he felt closer than family. Not that he ever spoke back… she wasn’t that far gone.

It was still a bit of a shock every time she realised she could actually communicate with the real life version now - she took a quick photo of the sky and a seagull swooped into shot just in time. Nice. She sent it over and watched for a few moments to see whether it would show as received. It didn’t. She pushed back the tendril of panic that edged up her spine. He was just busy. And he’d said Dawn would let her know if anything happened and she hadn’t heard anything so logically everything was fine. Everything was fine.

The gull wheeled, seemingly aimlessly, far above and she watched it for a while before shaking herself and striding purposefully towards the footpath for the main road and the bus stop. She’d booked herself a treat for after the appointment today and didn’t want to miss the bus that would get her there in good time.

That had been the 6th session of the 12 she would get, and so in theory she should be half way there to sorting herself out. It was always hard to know immediately afterwards, as she generally came out feeling as though she’d been run over by something large and extremely weighty… perhaps Virgil Tracy’s big green behemoth… but things were improving. The dreams were still an issue, but she wasn’t losing focus on the present nearly so often during daylight hours and that was definitely something to be thankful for.

The guilt, ‘survivor’s guilt’ as the counsellor called it though Estera hated the phrase because, as she’d pointed out on at least two occasions, she had done far worse than just survive, was perhaps the heaviest thing. She understood and mostly agreed on an intellectual level that it was irrational and, particularly as the supposed victim of her actions didn’t appear to blame her, it was something she should let go of. She knew it in her head. But the knowledge hadn’t made it as far as her heart and she accepted it likely never would. Perhaps she was just supposed to carry the burden… as a way of redressing the balance somehow.

She jumped backwards as a seagull dived to snatch a discarded piece of pastry from a few feet in front of her. She wondered if it was the same one she’d photographed and proceeded to distract herself from more unhelpful trains of thought by trying to work out whether it had been pasty or pie it had scored. A small piece of filling remained behind on the pavement - probably apple? Or potato. Bez would have happily eaten it either way of course.

The bus tracking display on the shelter clicked over to “due”. She straightened up and pulled out her phone in readiness to pay but it vibrated suddenly, slipping from her hands and skidding into the road. She saw the message notification pop up just as the bus swung around the corner.

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Chapter 21…

[burr-ell]

🔥 Critical Role c1, please ? or TLOVM ?

I really don't care for how TLOVM is adapting Keyleth and Vax. Their relationship doesn't do a whole lot for me in C1, but I respect it, and I actually find it more interesting as this sort of legendary star-crossed tragedy, written in fables and shrouded in myth. We know who these characters were in canon—Keyleth was fierce, compassionate, self-righteous, naive, courageous, and stubborn; Vax was loyal, fun-loving, snarky, possessive, reckless, and foolhardy. Like, the dramatic irony between what we know about Keyleth and Vax and what the world knows about the Tempest and the Champion is great!

So I really feel like TLOVM is fumbling the ball here. Keyleth hasn't exhibited a single flaw other than "doesn't believe in herself enough, hasn't memorized the druid 5e spell list", and it strips her of what made her relatable and interesting. Gone is her contentious-yet-loving relationship with Percy; gone is her distrust for the gods; gone is her preachiness and willingness to be the moral compass. What's left is a Disney Princess who says fuck, who's just so endearing and likable, and it feels so sanded-down. Her moments of triumph don't feel earned, because what did she have to overcome other than self-doubt?

She doesn't even have the agency to change her clothes! That could have been a great moment where she swaps out green for red to honor her fallen people, not to mention excellent setup for her conflict with Raishan later, but instead it just...happens because of her doing magick-y stuff in the Fire Plane. It's a small thing, but it adds up.

Vax is just...frustrating. There's not a single moment that really makes him look bad; even him being mean to Percy is completely understandable and justified by the narrative. (Like, Percy killed his sister, man. It was an accident, sure, but he killed her. Vax has every reason to be mean to him!) He doesn't do something like knocking Kynan unconscious in one hit in a misguided attempt at tough love or charging into a trap in Anders' office and nearly getting Cassandra killed. The reckless "but did you die" attitude he often has in that stage of the campaign is nonexistent, leaving in its place a very nice YA love interest who traded his life for his sister's and follows the Raven Queen now. He's completely palatable and sympathetic the entire time.

There is one exception to this, and it's completely unintentional: the grove in the Fey Realm. Percy tells the group they have to project positivity, and right as Vax is grumbling that it's stupid, he gets attacked. Vax...immediately blames Percy, and even Percy says it doesn't make sense. But it does. Vax was openly and loudly showing negative emotions. Why is no one pointing this out? Why is Vax allowed to have the last word in this scene? Why is this a "Percy doesn't get the Fey Realm" or "there's something weird about Vax" moment? From the scene as it's written, Percy gets the Fey Realm just fine; there's no reason to conclude from this that there's anything special about Vax other than that he's being surly, doing exactly the thing Percy told him not to do. Now I get what they were trying to do here; this is, to be clear, a flaw in the writing, not some ontological element of Vax as a character. The fact remains, however, that it's poorly done.

The romance itself suffers as a result of this, and honestly almost feels a little phoned-in, at least on the part of the writing and boarding teams. These characters aren't challenging each other; they aren't moving each other; they just blush a lot. It's just not very interesting.

I get it, adaptation is hard, but they gotta push these guys more, because as it stands, they're the weakest links in the show by far.

[animebw]

Thinking back on it, I'm realizing there aren't many straightforward idol anime I actually like. Like, Zombieland Saga is lots of fun, but the idol stuff is consistently the weakest part of it and I always feel myself tuning out whenever that's the focus. I guess I liked Heroines Run the Show before it went to shit in the back half? Does Ya Boi Kongming count? Symphogear, technically? Maybe Hanayamata? I dunno, I feel like all those shows have asterisks that keep them from being straightforward idol-y enough to qualify. Meanwhile, by far the most traditional idol show I've watched so far has been Shine Post, and hoooooooo boy did I end up hating that one.

I think the problem is, as I grow increasingly cynical and jaded in my old, withered age of 25 years old, the overwhelming positivity that defines the idol genre starts to feel forced and cloying. It's easy enough for "believe in yourself and try your best" to work as an overall theme if you're sincere enough to pull it off. But the second that theme becomes an obligation or an afterthought, it can very quickly turn a show into the most suffocating, shrink-wrapped piece of sanitized goop imaginable. It becomes a way for a story to avoid being about anything, spouting generic platitudes and cynically designed cuteness with all its edges sanded down and dull. When I look at the weaker idol anime I've watched, I don't see stories that come by their earnestness, well, earnestly. I see coldly calculated, market-tested corporate branding exercises that say nothing, express nothing, and don't dare step a single toe out of line. A plastic smile plastered across an empty styrofoam mannequin, babying its audience with lazy, simplified moralizing because it doesn't think they're capable of anything more complex than Teletubbies, and god forbid we lose a single audience member trying to actually make an artistic statement.

But that's the thing about Juuki Hanada as a writer.

When this man wants to get messy?

He gets fucking messy.

So much of what makes Hanada's writing so powerful, in comedy and drama alike, is how well he's able to let the reins go of his characters and let them crash into each other. Snappy one-liners and comebacks battling for dominance, chaotic personalities setting off fireworks of all kinds through their interactions, but also raw, ugly emotional confrontations that don't sugarcoat anything out of fear his audience isn't mature enough to handle it. Not all of his stuff is a masterpiece- I could spend hours talking about how badly Kyoukai no Kanata's plot falls apart in the second half, Steins;Gate gets more and more exhausting the more I think about it- but even his weakest works carry the unmistakable passion of a writer holding nothing back. And when he's firing on all cylinders? You might just end up with the single greatest coming-of-age tale this medium has ever produced.

And it turns out, that sensibility is exactly what a show like Love Live needs to succeed. Because even the most optimistic, inspirational story imaginable needs that edge to temper itself against. The sheer chaos of its lovable cast bouncing off each other isn't just what makes the comedy work so well, it's what lets these dramatic moments sting the way they need to. Because it's only in recognizing these harsher moments- failure, frustration, despair- that its triumphs are able to be so meaningful. I care about Muse because I've seen what it looks like when they fall short, and I care about Honoka because this show lets me see her at her lowest, at her most human and vulnerable. These characters aren't just plastic simulations of cute girls selling a fantasy; they feel like a real friend group, messy and anarchic and free. Free to express themselves with the full palette of the human experience, even the parts most of us would rather pretend didn't exist. And it makes their successes matter in a way they wouldn't if we didn't have that grounding in the unbearable chaos of being.

Love Live is not a deconstruction, or a subversion, or a dark parody or anything so gauche. It's nothing more of less than a straightforward, inspirational idol show. But it's a straightforward, inspirational idol show that knows it doesn't have to sacrifice its raw humanity to shine with the brightest stars in the sky. And that, folks, makes all the difference in the world.

[destinygoldenstar]

☀️THE SLAY PASS GETS USED☀️ - Total Drama Viewer Reacts to Disventure Camp Season 1 Episode 13 “A Heart's Desire” PART 1

(EDIT: Because the episode is so long and there's a lot to talk about, I'm splitting this up in two parts. Ran out of images.)

Part 2 >>

WELP. HERE WE ARE.

THE FINALE OF DISVENTURE CAMP

...Season 1.

I'm actually excited for this. I have been REALLY enjoying reacting to this show and making posts about it.

I mean, yeah, it has problems, that I did complain about, BUT I enjoy watching it and I'm liking it and I think that's what matters more than anything else.

And besides, I never acted like Total Drama was perfect either. I've complained about that too.

It's really interesting how I, as a Total Drama fan, got to this point, you know? I picked up the show when it was on YouTube (the channel is terminated now) during Covid Quarantine to kill the time and get away from my own problems. I was WEIRDED out by the show to say the least when I watched the first season, because I wasn't used to anything like it at the time... but then a couple weeks later I found myself not able to stop thinking about it for the next 3-4 years.

The show was very fun and chaotic and I really enjoy its premise despite its flaws. The show was also responsible for opening my eyes to more psychological research, believe it or not. Because in my fanon mindset that might or might not be canon (depends) the show was about how damaging these reality shows could be to people. So I like to dive into the more interesting characters psyches and how the show changed them for better or worse.

So now that I am grown up, in my 20s, and working to be a producer for indie animation someday, it feels SO RIGHT for me to come across an indie show similar to Total Drama and be invested in it as much as I became. I was NOT recommended this show. I was told to keep my distance because it was bad. But while I do confess there's problems, I DO think the writing in particular is the weakest element of this show, I enjoy it, I've really liked it, and I think that's what matters to me.

I'm definitely going to react to Season 2 & 3 in the future. But before then there's a tier list for every character I want to do, because I have A LOT to say regarding that.

It really does feel like a new era of my Tumblr Blog for me. I started this blog years ago as an advertisement for my writing. But then I took my hobby of making essays about media and started posting here, and because of my Total Drama addiction, I had a lot of people mistaking me for a 'Total Drama Blog'.

I am NOT a Total Drama blog. There's other stuff, and other media, that I talk about. AnalyzGolden is not limited to what she analyzes XD

So it does feel like a new era reacting to Disventure Camp and wanting to talk about it. Even though I'm not caught up.

So thank you for the support of these posts so far. First and foremost. You guys really have motivated me to do these knowing you enjoy them, and my... interesting personality being on display.

Because my posts are usually so analytic, it's a bit harder to showcase the user's personality with them, and in reaction posts, that's much easier to see. I'm not always this stern objective analytical person who acts all calm the entire time XD. I'm actually very emotional and expressive in personality, so some of my followers are probably gonna see these posts and think "What?! Golden is like THIS?! What is THIS side of her?!"

Anyway, enough stalling. Let's finish this season.

*Gets a grammarly ad*

What a way to start the finale. YouTube is mocking my reaction posts.

"But it's not the professional grammarly way, so your contributions here are quite shit."

"Before we go to the final challenge, we asked the last three campers to tell us about their experience at camp!"

Fiore "I killed people in VR. That was the best experience of my life."

Ellie "I psychologically destroyed a man, and I don't regret it one bit."

Miriam "...yeah, it was nice."

"And I'm in the finale against a six year old girl and a seventy year old woman!"

Heyo, don't underestimate those two. Fiore's a psychopath and Miriam was an athlete back in her day.

"Would I have preferred Alec to be here instead of Ellie or Miriam? Eh."

Do you care about him or not?

I think she DOES care, but she's also so caught up in her own ego that she acts like she doesn't. That's how last elimination happened.

🎵"He had it coming, he had it coming, he only had himself to blame, if you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it, I betcha you would've one the same"🎵

It's an all women finale, what can I say?

Miriam "I support women's rights."

Ellie & Fiore "Well I support women's wrongs."

"I have a few tricks up my sleeve."

"I have the slay pass from Golden! And I'm gonna use it!"

Imagine if she does use it. It'll be my fault.

"What will I be remembered for? Not for anything good... probably for betraying people and ruining things with Tom and Jake..."

"You can eat shit and die."

"You have no right to shame me."

YEP. YOU GOT THAT RIGHT.

I STILL DO NOT FORGIVE YOU.

I mean, I get it. You have a hard life. You're just trying to survive. I understand that...

But you could've just stolen that godforsaken idol from Tom and you wouldn't have had to destroy anyone.

"We also visited the losers hotel so they could give their thoughts on their sweet and maybe not so sweet experiences."

Ooh, here we go.

OH YEAH I FORGOT THE ELIMINATED PEOPLE COME BACK IN THE FINALS...

"My stay at Disventure Camp was a lot shorter than I would have liked..."

...is it bad that I forgot you existed?

🎵"I forgot that you existed"🎵

"I've learned not to be swayed by appearances."

YEAH. I'M GLAD YOU LEARNED THAT.

"After I got voted out, I was able to continue things with Will and... now we're dating!"

WAIT WHAT?!

UM... WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?! HUH?!?!?!

And I thought Ripper & Axel were such a crack ship.

This came right out of nowhere! OMG...

I mean whatever. You two aren't bad people, so you can be cute, whatever. I don't really care. Hope you're happy.

"What can I say? I was a bloody fool..."

And?

*cuts away*

That's it? Okay.

Aw, Jake! ❤️

"I haven't talked to Tom since we got kicked out... We've bumped into each other a few times at the hotel, but he doesn't want to talk to me."

Yeah... 😔

I can't say I'm surprised though. Tom DID say he didn't want to talk to Jake ever again, so...

HE GOT THE MOST PTSD FROM THIS GAME. POOR THING.

"I know I deserve it."

😭💗

HONEY. NO...

"What did I learn? Well if you have a job to do just do it, without falling in love with some silly boy who ends up ruining your future!"

DAMN...

DAMN THAT'S COLD.

Yeah, those two are not talking after this show. They're done.

There is no hope for this ship anymore.

I'm eating Toxic Yaoi for dinner tonight.

"I have nothing to say. Get that camera out of my face!"

MOOD.

YOU MAD YOU LOST TO A CHILD?

"Some of them attempted to refuse, but we reminded them it's mandatory."

I expected that honestly XD

Grett would not be here otherwise.

JAKE IS THE ONLY ONE DEPRESSED, AWWWW...

I'm telling y'all, this experience is gonna make him an asshole in season 3 season and make so many enemies out of it.

I mean that would explain why my feed has had a bunch of people despising Jake so much. I'M CHOOSING TO SUPPORT HIM IF HE WANTS TO HATE EVERYONE.

(As a character direction, not 'excusing every bad action ever')

*gets coffee creamer ad*

I guess that's one way to act in a depression episode.

"Ima go down a coffee and overstuff it with cream so I have the energy to CRY MY EYES OUT 24/7. WHAAAAAAAAAA, NO ONE LOVES MEEEEEEEE..."

"Jake maybe don't drink that much, you're shaking."

"I WAS GETTING KINDA USED TO BEING SOMEONE YOU LOOOOOVVVEEEDDD..."

(Why do I enjoy doing my whiny Jake impression?)

"Can someone knock him out? I'm getting concerned."

Miriam supporters. Not surprised Jake & Tom are there.

Course Gabby supports her girlfriend.

How does she feel about what Ellie did... cause uh... that's gonna be something Ellie's gonna have to explain...

Also why is Alec supporting Ellie? She ditched him in a cave and caused his elimination.

You'd think he'd have more cold blood than that.

XD

GRETT is the ONLY Fiore supporter?

That's so funny to me.

Though that IS one that makes sense.

"Yeah, you shot me in the face to get immunity, which was MESSED UP. But you also helped me figure out some things, and I have to acknowledge you for that."

Respect. Respect.

"I'll have you know, I was forced to choose, these three can go-"

OKAY NEVERMIND XD

GRETT I LOVE YOU

"What?! You assholes! Not even you Alec?"

"Um, you DUMPED ME. ARE YOU SURPRISED?!"

Girl, you confessed to hating EVERYONE multiple times!

This is like Velma expecting everyone to like her when she confesses to not caring for anyone and being a dick to everyone. WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?!

Fiore's a much better character though.

"A bowl of spoiled potato salad is more likeable than you, girl."

"Thanks for the support, everyone! I didn't think I would get that much."

Miriam, you deserve it.

OH MY GOD WOW.

OH WOW THAT'S COOL

AWWW... that's so sweet. They actually animated all these Patreons.

"By the way if you want to support us making more of these episodes, you can join our Patreon."

Okay that's just a fourth wall break.

The other characters are like "Um... who are you talking to? What's a Patreon?"

"Each finalist will be able to choose one person to help them in the challenge. Who's it gonna be?"

Miriam's probably choosing Jake.

Ellie's obviously picking Gabby.

Fiore's gonna have to pick Grett my default cause there's no other option.

All three of my favs became helpers XD

"Gabby!"

Yep.

"I choose Tom."

OH. REALLY.

Actually, that makes sense cause Tom is more physically capable.

Yeah, I understand that.

"Good decision, Miriam."

Awww

XD

THE FACE.

"YOU DARE COMPLIMENT ME?!?! OH THAT DOES IT!!! YOU WILL NEVER HEAR FROM ME AGAIN SIR!!!!"

Tom hates Jake so much now. It's so sad.

"I guess I choose Grett. She's my only option."

So I got two right.

"And what if I refuse to help you?"

OH DAMN, NEVERMIND

"Fine, I'll give you a part of the prize."

"That's how I like it."

A penny. She's gonna give you a penny.

"She's not getting a penny."

XD

"GOLDEN, I CAN HEAR YOU, AND I CONSTANTLY DISOBEY YOU. You proud of yourself for making Grett broke now?"

"Fiore! We have to work together to slow Ellie down."

Oh, are they sabotaging Ellie?

"I know. She's the most athletic out of us."

I didn't think they'd STILL be working together.

"Keep your enemies closer" I guess.

Plus I did give Miriam a slay pass on Ellie, so...

"A lot has happened since you left..."

"Ever since you left, I worked WITH the people who stabbed you in the back to destroy my friend's relationship! And I gave him death threats!"

"Oh... is that the Ellie I know...?"

"It has been rough. No lie. But let's focus on the positive."

Okay so I guess Gabby isn't gonna have any feelings about it.

"I'm going for the key! Wait for me!"

*Gets a body wash ad*

Ellie the lake is not a bath.

"I don't know how to swim."

"Me neither."

Well you're both screwed then.

Goodbye Fiore.

"Tom, can you go get the keys for both of them?"

Why? Why help her?

Imagine Tom saying he can't swim either XD

"I missed the swimming part of spy school. So uh... yeah I think we're all screwed."

OH THERE YOU GO GRETT

That's one way to slow her down!

"If you do that to Ellie again, I'm going to use that key to gouge your eyes out and shove it down your throat!"

*CHOKES ON BREATH*

OH MY GOD

SHOTS ARE FIRED

"Well Tom, how are things with Jake?"

"What do you think? I hate him now! He fell for someone gaslighting him! That's completely his fault!"

"We haven't talked. I'm still a bit upset about what happened."

A BIT?

"You have every right to be. But I think you'll feel better if you both just listen to each other. Don't let it end on a bitter note."

Awww.

I don't know if Tom will do that, though?

Are they gonna make up?

Please?

"What would I gain from that?"

"Better to have no regrets Not talking to him and never seeing him again after this could leave you feeling terrible about this entire experience."

I mean, I do agree with Miriam, but...

Are they gonna be on good terms at the end? I don't know.

"I know you two are both good people. Trust me as woman who's had many regrets in her long life, if you have an opportunity to change things, you should take it."

👏

"We're in a million dollar challenge! Run more, talk less!"

XD

She's right though XD

Oh you're a bitch.

WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE EXPECT?! WHY DID YOU HELP HER?!

*talking about her plan*

Um, MIRIAM AND TOM ARE IN HEARING RANGE, RIGHT?!

AND THEY CAN SEE YOU WITH THEIR MAP

"The one Grett's holding is Miriams."

"Do you think they'll penalize you for that?"

TOM.

TOM. OMG.

YOU PUT THE MAP IN YOUR POCKET, RIGHT?!?!

WHY ARE YOU NOT QUESTIONING WHY GRETT HAS YOUR MAP?!?!?

WHAT THE HELL?!?!?

"How many times is everyone going to fall for Fiore and Grett's tricks?!"

THANK YOU. THANK YOU DAN.

TO THINK I DISSED YOU.

"Apparently we haven't learned our darn lesson yet..."

MULTIPLE TIMES, AND IT'S SO STUPID.

"How many times we gotta teach you this lesson, old lady?"

"Wait, why are Gabby and Ellie running in the opposite direction?"

OH MY GOD.

Tom, you are a dumbass. NOW you realize?!

Oh yay, the demon child wins...

This is where Miriam goes.

YEAH THIS IS WHERE MIRIAM GOES

THEY'RE NOT GONNA MAKE IT

AW, I'M SORRY MIRIAM. I WAS ROUTING FOR YOU.

"Tom... I... I can't go any..."

NO DON'T GIVE UP

"Wait... I need help!"

Wait what's happening?

"Oh... my heart..."

OH NO. WHAT?!??!

WAIT A MINUTE, WHAT?!?!

NO

OH NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

YOU'RE GONNA KILL HER?!??!?!

NO THAT'S SICK. OH MY GOD. NO.

NOOOOOOOOOOO

DON'T KILL HER OFF, I LOVE HER. NOOOOO

NOOOOOOOO MIRIAM, NOOOOOOOO

CPR. DO CPR TOM. PLEASE.

"What's wrong with her? Is she okay?"

LADY, YOU THINK?!?!?! SHE'S DYING.

"I can smell that million bucks calling to me."

OH

OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD WHAT

😲

I... I...

*AnalyzGolden.exe has stopped working*

...

... ... ...

So... let me get this straight...

She FAKED A HEART ATTACK TO WIN?!

... ... ...

😂👏

OMG THAT GOT ME

OMG MIRIAM YOU ARE INSANE

AND ELLIE'S OUT

😂👏

You KNOW this was done as revenge for Tom and Jake

KARMA IS A BITCH, ELLIE!!!!!!

Miriam used the slay pass! SHE ACTUALLY USED IT. I HAVE HER SLAY PASS AND SHE USED IT.

😂👏

THAT WAS SO GOOD

"What the hell was that?! After everything that has happened in this game, I lose a chance of fixing my life because of THAT?!"

I want to feel bad for Ellie, but I just DON'T.

OH MY GOD...

*struggling to calm down*

Continued In Part 2>>

[dr-lizortecho]

Hi! I searched (stalked?!) your blog for Simon/Daphne content since I love that you ship them too but couldn't find any posts on their mbti types, so I'd love to hear how you would type them and your general thoughts on how Simon and Daphne's similarities and differences. Only if you want to, of course :)

Ohhh!! I’m always up to type and discuss characters I love <3

So Daphne screams ESFJ to me, because she leads into almost every social interaction with very strong Fe and with a fallback of Ne (this is more so used as caterer to her Fe since it’s tertiary function). This can be observed through just the way she tries to connect to her suitors, through trying to forge an emotional connection and when it fails switching tactics quickly and with ease, to how she interacts with her family (Elouise in particular!). Leaving her Secondary function as Si and her inferior as Ti. Her Si is strong and one of the first traits/qualities the show depicts, which is her clinging to knowns and her striving for a “traditional” looking lifestyle. While she fails to understand the allure of something non-traditional (or queer) it takes her kicking back against this secondary function with her tertiary (Ne) paired with her desire to connect and love (Fe) to combat its more set in stone nature. And her inferior function is Ti, which we don’t get to see too much of since it’s her weakest function (and she lives in a society that doesn’t necessarily encourage women with sharp minds or for them to orchestrate anything), but it does appear in how she handles Nigel Berbrooke, because she handles it with nuance and an understanding of her place in society, watching all the internal mechanisms and understanding how they will play out. Because Ti is so difficult for me to explain- we’ll just say it’s a logical system that views all new information as part of a larger whole, a piece to be added to the algorithm vs an individual thing to be deconstructed and reconstructed.

As for Simon I have been known to bounce back and forth between ISTJ and INTJ and ISFP, because I feel like my take on his functions change with each watch of the show. Primarily it’s currently a battle of whether certain choices and actions are by products of Fi and a stronger presenting Te, or high Ti and a lack of Fe development…

But one thing that is for certain is he contrasts and compliments Daphne in position (that being a man- but also being a man of color, because they both of station in life but different societal threats to that station) and in how the process and view societal obligations. Because Daphne sees their falsities and complexities, but she sees those through the lense of them being constructed for proprietary and with good intent. While Simon sees them as a hoax, something to be ignored or a game to be won. Both as by products of the positions they were raised in- and reflective of their familial contrasts. Also! I could go insane talking about how though vastly different in love and raising they are both shackled by expectation for their stations in life. Because Simon was viewed as not worthy of his title and Daphne as a pawn to marry up (however lovingly and blinded by society as it was). But that’s for another day.

[msperfectsheep-posts]

hm. for the character ask game. idolish7 protagonist bingo : -riku -tsumugi -hope -arme -momiji why not

SORRY THIS IS LATE. I did this earlier and accidentally closed my art program right as I was opening this ask so. Yeah. I'm going to put my thoughts below a cut like last time just to not flood any dashes <3

Riku Nanase: (IDOLiSH7, normal canon)

Riku's...really interesting to me in a few ways. Like, he is not my favorite by any means, but I think his character is one that I really enjoy digging into because of all of the small parts that go into making him him. He's been sick his entire life and wants to get past that and seen as a person rather than a weak little animal that's a burden, but he's also reckless and bull-headed. He starts fights and doesn't even realize it. He's selfish in a manner that is so innocent, and he's silly in a way that's deeply charming. I think he's a lot more than just the :D face you see him making a lot of the time, but he also is just very silly sometimes. And he can canonically see ghosts??? So there's that.

Tsumugi Takanashi (IDOLiSH7, normal canon)

Chitra this is your blorbo prime. You automatically won her a bingo square just by being my friend <3. Anyways! This is for anime/Rabbichat Tsumugi, since technically she isn't supposed to have much of a personality in the game and I think the anime does a lot for her character. She's really great! God is she fun! She's a workaholic freak that loves her boys dearly but man is there a lot more than just that. I would love to dig more into her as a character one day, but for now, I will just say BANGER female supporting character. I'm glad the boys are with her

Hope: (IDOLiSH7, Hoshimeguri no Kansokusha)

HOPE MY BELOVED. OH MY GOD. Well first of all, I'm not going to write a novelization of a story if I don't fuck with the main character. Like. I may not like them as a person, but I have to at least like them as a character. And Hope is just an excellent bildungsroman protagonist for this space fantasy adventure story. He's earnest and loving, and as the emotional core of the entire story, you NEED to understand why his personality is so integral to how things end up, and I think the writers did an excellent job with that in the original story. He's a deeply charismatic character in that I never want to stop writing things with him and all of his friends in it. I'm ill.

Arme: (IDOLiSH7, La Danse Macabre)

MY FIRST BINGO!! Arme my belarme. I roleplay him in one of my friend's multifandom servers. I have so many headcanons. He's a fucked up little creature and baby boy in a way both parallel and perpendicular to Haruka. I want to squish him and also watch him from a distance. The fact that you can choose his biggest decision in Danmaca is INSANE and speaks a lot to how his character progressed in the story without progressing too much. It's just. Ough. I know danmaca was long but honestly I would have loved it to be doubly as long just so I could see more of all the characters and more of Arme's development, especially post canon.

Momiji: (IDOLiSH7, Ayakashi Mangekyo Karatogaokuri)

I have to be real here. I have not read Karatoga in a recent enough time for me to remember a lot of Momiji's character. I remember thinking this was one of the weakest Kujis, but also, I'm not a big fan of tournament arcs and a lot of this Kuji is just one big tournament arc. I liked the central dynamic he was involved in and how a lot of Momiji's character background shared similarities with Sougo's in canon, but he's not really a stand out Kuji protagonist from what I can remember! If I go back and re-read, I'll reblog this with an updated opinion!

Thank you for the asks!! You should read Mechalala and LINK RING WIND now so you'll know all the protagonists :)

[sepyana]

Jjba Diamond is Unbreakable Ep. 8-16 Thoughts

Ep. 8-9

Yukako has so many issues god bless

I've taken a liking to her design. Her color scheme goes together well, her hair has a lot of character and I do like the rose emblem on her outfit.

Her stand, Love Deluxe, plays the prehensile hair trope straight, other than her ability to control her hair even when it is not attached to her scalp. I like the name but I find this type of stand boring to be honest.

I'm not really interested in Yukako as a character, unless she gets something more later on. The funniest thing they can do is pair her and Koichi together. "Me and my girl don't argue, she tells me to shup up and I do" and such.

Josuke and Okuyasu were nice this episode. We learn that Crazy Diamond can't bring back anything The Hand deletes. Just goes to show how opposite their powers are.

Koichi is not really my cup of tea. I appreciate him being part of the group but solo episodes with him don't really interest me. Plus his voice is incredibly grating in both sub and dub. It's interesting that he set up that rock so that Yukako wouldn't die, you gotta be really confident that you'll win if you are worrying about the safety of your opponent.

Hey, Koichi with the new hair kinda looks like... No I shan't say it.

Let's talk about Echoes. My boy. My lil man. Look at his lil smile :) My favourite stand from part 4 so far. It seems to emote on its own sometimes, like Star Platinum who smiles every time it gets a chance to beat someone up. I like it when stands emote on their own. The fanworks do this a lot but jjba itself rarely does it. Which is a shame.

Ep. 10

This is just 20 minutes of Okuyasu having nice things happen to him and I think that's just great. If I had so say my one gripe (and be a killjoy), it would be that it doesn't tell us much about Okuyasu and Josuke that we don't already know. The best thing about filler is that it gives us characterization and I don't think this episode has enough of that.

Okuyasu and Josuke fighting reminded me of the Death 13 episode except Polnareff was infinitely more stubborn

Also this is a great time to just give the VAs the biggest shout out cuz wow I love them. Especially Okuyasu I love the way he says Josuke. It brings me joy. They are perfect fits for the characters they are playing. I can hear Tonio's accent but I know fuck all about Japanese so It might be horrible, not my problem tho.

Ep 11 - 12

I think Tomoko is one of my favourite female Jojo characters so far. The bar is on the ground, but, you know. Take what you can get.

I don't get why they added that scene with Josuke at the start. It doesn't really add anything.

I think the funniest thing in episode 11 is Koichi and Okuyasu just going through it and the Jojos not giving a shit. I hate the Joestars so much it's unreal. It did struck me as a bit weird. It's not at all weird for Jotaro (Have you seen the stardust crusaders? They told Polnareff they lied about Avdol's death to him and then they had the audacity to go "I didn't think you'd be this hurt"), It does feel a bit off for Josuke though.

Jotaro smiling as he says Jospeh could die is amazing. Of course he would.

I didn't think about what Red Hor Chili Pepper's stand user would look like but I am definitely not dissapointed in Akira. Personality wise he is insanely boring but I do like his design.

Okuyasu looking at his own hand as he thanks Koichi was a nice touch.

I like how they handled Joseph. Obviously Josuke is not gonna be amazed to see him but It wouldn't go with his personality if he was antagonistic either.

Ep 13

I don't like how different the japanese VA of Joseph sounds when he is yelling. English VA doesn't have this issue but it's also was the weakest of the sdc cast imo. No winning with this one.

Ep 14 - 15

The first episode is just set up. It does that job pretty well though. Really makes Rohan seem insane. I mean, he *is*.

Rohan relating everything to art and writing isn't even that off from how most artists think tbh. Writers will see a documentary about the most disturbing shit they have ever seen and they will go "That will make my writing about this part more accurate".

And Rohan'a advice is actually pretty good. Like, draw with references. Draw from reality. Base your characters on people who you know, instead of like, just taking from your favourite artisans. Anyways,

Rohan's stand is called the Heaven's Door. Firstly, It's a really cute stand. Secondly, this thing is busted. It'd be one thing if looking at a draft was the only way for it to work but touching you with his stand also works. And he can knock someone unconcious when unfurling them. Add on that the insane speed he has for no reason and honestly we should just be glad this guy isn't a villain. He is just weird and offputting.

I fucking love episode 15. The pay off is amazing. I love that Okuyasu and Josuke notice something small like a cut on his hand and immediately help him. I love that Rohan opens Josuke's eyes by insulting his hair. And then he just. keeps. going.

Josuke being literary so blinded by rage that he doesn't see the draft? Amazing. He absolutely destroyed that place. And threw a fucking chair at Okuyasu and Koichi. This show is pretty funny when it wants to be.

The story of his hair was really sweet. The guy helping them seems to be a student like the current day Josuke too.

Ep 16

The art style for this episode looks different from normal and I have no idea why. The style is ussually pretty consistent. You can see the gums in their teeth it's strange.

Jotaro gets a slight outfit change. I like the colors and the tilted belts. I'm not sure on the new jacket. I liked that they used the collar of his shirt to give the same vibe as his part 3 outfit insead of just giving him a jacket exactly like his old one. His new jacket is a bit dissapointing. I like dolphins. I'm not sure what they were trying to do with the triangle and the sun. Overall, I like the older one just a bit more. I would love it if he kept changing outfits like this tho.

It's something that Jotaro can't seem to seperate Star Platinum's time stop ability from Dio. Like, that's Star Platinum's power.

As funny as seeing Jotaro get his ass beat by a Twitch looking ass rat is, It's also shows what I like about stands. I know Jotaro is holding back here, but that doesn't change the fact that this is a bad machup for him. So you don't need to nerf him in ordert to create conflict. Stands are good against combatting power creep, is what I'm saying.

Love Crazy Diamond popping up out of nowhere just to look sad. Don't look at me with them big ol' eyes.

Ep. 17

I think one thing part 4 is good at is the character dynamics. Rohan and Koichi was fun to watch. Rohan grinning at Koichi getting flustered was great. Reimi being really friendly with Rohan cuz she knew him when he was a kid is a nice bit of writing.

I made a joke post about where Kak went after death, a few people mentioned how ghosts were real and he could be like Reimi. Now I know what they are talking about.

Reimi has a nice design. Especially the choker with the hands holding on it. Speaking of hands

I know I shouldn't be laughing at the guy whose only trait so far is that he kills young girls to date their hands to satisfy his stupid fetish or something but

what even is that music. Why did they make it like that.

To close this off, I am currently on vacation with little internet access. It's a rural area so there isn't much to do. I've been spending my time writing these, slowly. Gonna take a hot minute to finish this part.

I've been also wondering if I should watch Stone Ocean before Golden Wind and get the Jotaro story over with. I'll decide that later, I dunno.

[vergess]

speaking of gender markers i was reading that part and thought hm. purposeful parallels, in sync despite being on opposite hills. but really contrasting. All at once two voices shouted out to, "Halt!" One was my Jonathan's, raised in a high key of passion. The other Mr. Morris' strong resolute tone of quiet command.

van helsing had said that the laconic quincey was ''all man'', he is and looks like a rugged adventurer, likely tall and burly. and here i think that despite that he's american he acts like a british masculine ideal in this scene.

jonathan in contrast is all loud, passionate emotion. high emotion vs quiet command. also unlike quincey he looks frail- mina says he only started putting some meat on his bones late september, and since oct it's implied he's been neglecting himself. seward says his hands are ice cold. he's holding a blood-seeking "barbaric" weapon. he resembles more of a madman than the ideal hero.

Oh that is SUCH a good point.

Far and away, the character that my analytical relationship is weakest with is Quincey. I may not have fun talking about Dracula or Arthur the way I do Seward and the Harkers, but I at least understand their characters and can play with concepts around them (eg, I do actually know that Lucy is not symbolically associated with Gwenhwyffar save in the sense that she is the wife of their highest ranking guy, a british noble named Arthur, and people being little shits about that in the tags of my posts are more than welcome to make their own name posts about these characters because this is a non-scarcity scenario, THANKS)

But Quincey is like... Okay literally until the day he died, I had one (1) joke about Quincey, and it was that Bram Stoker clearly had a cowboy fetish.

Which made the emotional impact of his death and his little Gilgamesh acting three-parents ghost baby, VERY CONFUSING for me. Like WHY did I care so much?? How did his whole "stoic nod.GIF" and "Thank you kindly, little lady" shit SNEAK UP ON ME????

(Hint: Regardless of Stoker's situation, I do have a cowboy fetish so not thinking about Quincey may have been a survival strategy lol)

But Quincey acting as this impossible paragon of masculinity in isolation provides a great framework for me to examine him, especially in contrast to how blatantly and constantly GNC that... well, almost everyone around him is.

I say impossible, because as you point out, in his final scene Quincey is presenting a very English type of masculinity. Not even British, IMO. That's all England.

But that very English masculinity is, necessarily, incompatible with the Rugged American Masculinity he has been written to exude.

No, that's not right... the Rugged American Masculinity everyone keeps saying he exudes, while he primarily does insane nonsense.

Quincey is indeed "all man," in that he can and well become a paragon of whatever cultural ideal of masculinity is needed in any scene. Mutable in execution, yes, but always something you could summarize as "A Good Man," and get nods from everyone listening.

Which makes it all the more interesting that he seems (based on the novel I read, not any secondary sources) to have been written in solely to be impotent, impotent, impotent, then die in glory.

Hmm, hmm, hmm. Lots to consider!!

[xiaoscarasimp]

Mania

“Hey kazuha, you took a commission to take out some bandits?” Scaramouche asked, a dangerous glint in his eyes. 

“Yeah, I did. Why? What’s up?” Kazuha was puzzled. Scaramouche never offered to do any of his commissions. Kazuha looked closely at him, and noticed he had a cocky grin on, almost blood thirsty. 

“Oh, no reason. I just wanted to burn off some steam.” Scaramouche started cackling while walking away. What a perfect way to burn off steam! What better way to show those wretched vermin that they were worthless compared to him! Scaramouche needed to be on top of the world. He needed to feel superior to every one else while grinding them into the ground.  

He walked straight into the bandit’s camp, arms wide open, psychotic grin on his face, and ready to feel alive! The lower ranked bandits charged at him, but Scaramouche dodged and used his windblades to sever their heads. Blood splattered on his face and clothes but he didn’t care; it just made him more alive! He dashed up into the air, eyes glowing, and asked the mid rank bandits if they were ready to face the wrath of god. Most of them stammered and almost pissed themselves trying to get away, while others thought they could take him. 

Scaramouche laughed maniacally, going after the weakest first, blood somehow swirling around, causing more damage. He murdered all of the bandits except one, who was on the brink of death. Scaramouche bent down and smiled an almost angelic smile, hands between his hands , but the bandit knew that this was no smile of an angel: this was the smile of a devil. 

“Where is your leader?” Scaramouche almost cooed. “ Hmm? Will you be a good boy and tell me? I am feeling nice today; I won’t kill you right away.”   The bandit’s eyes were wide but his last act of defiance was to spit at Scaramouche, telling him to go to hell. “Well, then,” Scaramouche sighed. “Then I hope you send my regards to whatever archon or god you believe in.” The bandit didn’t even have time to say his last words as the light faded from his eyes.

“Now, where is the leader,” he asked no one in particular, however a gruff voice responded and a burly man stepped out in front of him, his legs trembling. Scaramouche eyed the man up and down and told the man that it was the end of the road for him. 

“Look, I’m in a good mood. I won’t use my anemo powers to take off to the skies; we’ll have a fight on the ground.Now, don’t disappoint me!” Scaramouche took off running towards the bandit, firing wind blades, but the bandit dodged them, but only barely; No wonder he was their leader. The bandit leader swung his humongous axe but as fate would have it, Scaramouche used the opening to fire wind blades at the bulky man's torso, leaving him close to bleeding out.

 It was too easy!! Mere humans couldn’t stand up to a body made to be god!

He started maniacally laughing, eyes wide and hand covering part of his face. His mind was on a high, emotions elevated. He needed more thrill in his life. Scaramouche wanted to feel even more alive despite the fact it felt like his mind was being shattered, he wanted any and everything at once, but also nothing at all. 

A small voice in the back of his mind reminded him that he was in mania and that this was temporary, but he shoved the voice even further back; he didn’t need anything to hinder him feeling alive. He would be willing to gamble everything: his life, his friendships, even the anemo vision bestowed upon him from the gods to achieve his goal. 

It was at that moment, Scaramouche closed his eyes, took a breath, and extended his arm outwards, almost to start a dance. He took a step  slowly to the right, a small twirl a little faster to the left, and then he started adding in more complicated steps, maneuvering elegantly through the clearing of the camp. If he wasn’t covered in blood, Scaramouche would have looked alluring to any bystanders. No, it was the fact that he was covered in blood that it seemed mesmerizing to see such an elegant dance performed by someone who had just killed about ten people moments before. 

As the steps became increasingly faster, he lifted his arms in the air, almost in a prayer, almost begging someone to save him from his open madness.  His brain felt like it was going to explode; it was fracturing; he couldn’t touch reality. Scaramouche knew where he was, he knew what he did, but it didn’t feel “real.” It felt like there was a glass pane between him and “reality.” 

Scaramouche did something he swore he’d never do again: cry. The tears started rolling down his face. Why was he like this? Why did he crave violence even though he still felt guilt sometimes for his acts? Why did his mania attract so many but also push everyone away? Why did his brain hurt? Does he even have a heart? Will someone or something be able to piece his mind back together? 

All of these thoughts happened almost simultaneously. It was over bearing. A thought came from the left side followed by a thought from the right and ping ponging  around. 

He needed to be saved from himself. He hated himself. It would be better if he felt nothing at all. If he didn’t have to deal with emotions or mania, then maybe he could live a normal life, have people like him. Despite the outwards persona, deep down, Scaramouche craved approval. He wanted to be loved. He hated that mania brought upon violent tendencies that pushed everyone away. 

Everyone except Kazuha. 

It was at that moment, Kazuha found Scaramouche dancing in the clearing, singing softly to himself. By god did he have a beautiful voice; Kazuha was almost rooted in place by the sheer beauty of the dance and song. However, Kazuha noticed that Scaramouche’s eyes were partially glazed over and half closed, and knew that he was tiring out, and that they needed to get home so Scaramouche could sleep off the remaining mania. 

The higher the high, the lower the low. And that was dangerous for everyone involved. The god complex would give away to self loathing and hatred. Scaramouche needed to rest, but when Kazuha brought this up, Scaramouche snapped at him, telling him to piss off and to mind his own business. He was shaking; he was both hot and cold at the same time. Scaramouche was embarrassed for anyone to see him like this. 

Kazuha grabbed Scaramouche’s hat that had been discarded during the battle, and told Scaramouche that they were going home, whether he liked it or not. Scaramouche grumpily complied but he wanted to dance some more; it was one of the ways he felt he could get a decent stress relief. 

“Did you want to dance when we get home, or did you want to be left alone?” Kazuha asked. He had a system for when Scaramouche was in mania: ask him if he wanted to be left alone or accompanied through an episode. Scaramouche was put off by this system at first but as time went by, he had come to appreciate it.

“I think I want to dance by myself, but I want you to watch,” Scaramouche told Kazuha quietly, cheeks turning red. 

“Deal. Did you want some hot tea and something to eat?” 

“Tea yes but unsure on what to eat.” Scaramouche pondered the thought for a bit. Eating seemed like a chore right now. “Hey  Kazuha,” he called out tentatively. “Why do you put up with me? I’m a burden to you aren’t I? The books aren’t balanced in this relationship. What do you have to gain from being with me?” 

Kazuha tilted his head to the side, finger on his face in the cutest thinking position ever so that what ever was left of Scaramouche’s heart twinged. “Hmm, haven’t thought about it. I know you’re not actually a bad person, you just have a lot of trauma and emotional issues to work through. You do need to get better at controlling the episodes. I know you can’t pick *when* they happen but you can choose how to react to them. Killing people isn’t a good way to let off steam at all. “Kazuha chided Scaramouche all the way home. 

“Ok fine, fine,” Scaramouche waved his hand as if he were shooing flies away from his face. He loved Kazuha in his own little way, but he was annoying sometimes; annoying because he had a point. 

They arrived home, and Kazuha suggested that Scaramouche take a bath to get cleaned up and to relax and that he’ll start brewing the tea in the meantime. “The more bitter the tea, the better,” Scaramouche reminded Kazuha lovingly. 

After his bath, he returned to the bed room, pale skin turned red from the heat of the bath; he’d never been good with heat, but the hotter the bath, the more he could relax and the more he could let his mind go. He held a sort of regret that he had gone on a rampage but something told him in a corner of his mind that it was a job, and that they deserved to be exterminated like the vermin they were. He justified this to himself over and over again, each time getting angrier with the world and himself. The more he tried to justify his actions, the fuzzier his brain became. Why couldn’t it be black and white? 

Scaramouche sat down on the bed, dressed in his favorite black pajama pants and a red and gold shirt, mentally and physically exhausted from his adventures today. All he wanted to do was curl up next to his favorite person, drink some tea, read a book, and go to bed, but Kazuha forced him to eat something before bed so he wasn't hungry at midnight. 

Scaramouche was grateful that Kazuha could put up with his prickly and volatile moods.  He knew he was hard to love, but luckily Kazuha saw past the mood swings to realize that he wasn't a bad person: just bad habits and tendencies.

I couldn't figure out how to end this sooo here we are. There's a lot of projecting and wanted to tell what mania is sometimes like.