#//why does this site constantly keep changing

[themerchliing]

i've heard tumblr has stopped giving people notifications for when threads are reblogged so i'm just going to @ people in every reply

[inkskinned]

the thing that gets you sometimes is the frustration. for every time someone else sees you being late, losing something, forgetting something important: there are hours in your day dedicated to it.

you have strange, fae-like rituals. the keys have to go in their special bowl, because if you forget even once, they will be gone forever. you stack items on a stool in front of your door so that you can't leave without touching them. you can't take your wallet out of your bag, ever, it will simply fade away.

everything has to be written down. everything, everything. whatever you need to do, you need to do it now. you check and re-check the busmap only to still get lost on the same route you've always taken home. you start getting ready to go 3 hours early and still end up 15 minutes late, unsure even of where the time has gone. don't sit down, there's something strange about your bed or the couch or the floor - once you sit down, you'll get stuck.

you are very used to operating without instructions. people say you're good at winging it but really you've never really known where the rules are coming from. you have to live in constant strange anticipation - when your brain does fail you, how can you predict every horrible outcome. maybe today you will have a minor curse, and forget to brush your teeth. or maybe today you will wake up - and no matter what you do, your whole body begs to return you back to sleep. maybe today you will break a glass and then just stand there, surrounded by the shards, frozen in place - because you need to go to the bathroom, but you also need to sweep.

and everyone else seems to have gotten the memo, and it's easy for them, and it never, ever gets easy for you. make plans and keep them. they roll their eyes when you say sorry it's too messy we can't go over to my apartment. they ask why did you leave something so big until the last minute. on instagram, your friend makes a reel where she says if they cared, they would change. they literally do not care. someone says it's a symptom, and in the comments, all they get is then go to therapy! it can't control everything you do!

so you go to therapy. and you work out to calm down and you do your self-care and you try to be grateful for the small things. and you structure literally your entire life around it, around the ways you can't live right. you have failsafe over failsafe over red flag. you have shelves of organizational manuals. you have alarms for things like did you remember to eat that you still manage to figure out how to snooze. you have time-blocked sites and deleted apps you get lost in and you are constantly trying. because you also want a life where you are not stepping over laundry. juggling knives, you spend your whole life feeling like you're ice skating.

and still. she sighs at you. i mean, it's just. i don't understand how you constantly miss all the small stuff. i mean, this is the easy part. you're just not trying hard enough.

[r0-boat]

Pokémon Hot Dragon women

Various pokémon women as hybrid dragons

Do you know what's awesome?

Dragons...

Do you know what's even more awesome?

Hot women!

Yeah I definitely missed some hot women Don't worry

Lorelei/Baxcalliber hybrid

For some reason this Baxcalliber hybrid has more feathers covering about half of her body especially around her chest. Humans think it's to keep her warm. Lorelei has sharp claws and even sharper sail on her back. She is known in the icy mountains for her called demeanor toward humans.

However any human able to break through her I see heart will be alarmed at how warm she could be. However that warmth is only for you. She has no intention in sharing it with others.

She sees you as a bumbling little human fool. Never change She thinks you're cute this way. If any harm shall to come to you They will succumb to her I see breath and sharp as steel claws

Claire/Dragonair hybrid

A Dragonair That has yet to evolve. She likes her half serpentine body. She does not want to look like her cousin Lance who is a hybrid Dragonite.

Unlike the docile Dragonair Claire is stubborn and standoffish, She will not accept help from humans even if she is one foot in the grave. You don't know how you got the eye of this dragon. Maybe it was because despite all efforts of her trying to push you away when you found her injured You still stayed with her until she healed.

She still visits often, Even though she has a dragon hybrid her mannerisms remind you more of a cat. She wants you to keep your distance from her but occasionally, her stricken with curiosity and infatuation will come towards you.

Nessa/Kingdra hybrid

Very wary of people so much so that she almost never comes up to the surface. But you were a rare case. You dropped a necklace into the water and you thought you'd never see it again until you thought you saw a hand coming up from the waves throwing it onto the Sandy Beach.

You yelled out thank you giving the mysterious thing whatever it was a shell. Nessa is wary of humans but you seemed nice. The next time you met your eyes met when you stared down in the ocean blue over a bunch of rocks.

You knew her immediately She must have been the same person who grabbed your necklace! It was the first time she'd ever interacted with a human in a long time and she has not regretted it.

Perrin/salamance hybrid

Looks terrifying but is actually a sweetheart. You were outside taking pictures of pokémon and plants when you come face to face with a terrifying Salamance hybrid. Her claws were sharp her teeth even sharper and her gaze fixated on your device. She looked terrifying yet beautiful at the same time You couldn't help But be mesmerized.

You were scared for a moment but that fear instantly fade, You picked a wildflower putting it behind her ear before takingher picture and gave it to her.

She followed you home and now she visits you constantly, wherever you go she seems to know exactly where you are trying to play with you or your camera.

Cynthia/garchomp hybrid

Terrifying but also a sweetheart. But don't mess with her. She only has so much patience. You've heard that it is very hard to earn a garchomp's respect even more so a hybrid. Dragons have good judges of character You've also heard maybe that's why this garchomp hybrid decided to stay in your camping site just sitting there watching you closely as you study old artifacts and old runes.

She was even a good travel companion when you explored the ruins of Alph, perhaps there was something she was trying to find as well?

Cynthia likes you, What she is seeing you are very knowledgeable and caring of pokémon. You are also interested in ancient treasures of the old. You are also kind and sweet despite who she was you were not afraid. Yeah she likes you.

Rika/Flygon hybrid

You lived near the flats of the Mesa in the paldea region You've heard that hybrids were rare more so dragon hybrids. However you're starting to think that was a lie. Everyday you Walk on the same trail and this hybrid you don't know what she's doing has been trying to show off to you.

You try to ignore her at first only for her to frown at you. Now she's trying to get your attention, stealing your things, playing with you, whipping up tiny Sandy gusts to blow stuff off of you.

That toothy smile and that wild look in her eyes you don't trust. You could almost see a glint of mischief. However, that was all you saw until she protected you from a while pokémon.

[horrorshow]

Can you talk about why you think blocking and moving on is a bad thing? I thought it was a way to curate your space and avoid drama

idk maybe i'm too idealistic but fandom is a much more friendlier, welcoming, supportive, creative, engaging, active, diverse and interesting space when it's treated like a community where people are encouraged to participate and talk about their interests and where there's space for niche or more unpopular opinions without these people having to worry about being blocked and feel unwelcome by the majority of the fandom they are in. i can't stand how blocking everyone you disagree with has become the first thing to do.

you say its 'to curate your experience'. but blocking people does not only curate YOUR experience. you're also forcefully curating other users' experiences. and not for the better.

people say 'i will block you for literally anything' and then those same people wonder why engagement is down, why no one sends asks, why no one reblogs, why rarely anyone talks in the tags anymore and why this place feels so dead and boring and quiet. i wonder why!!!!

people treat real people as annoying ads they can dispose of at their whim. but that's not how a fandom or a site like tumblr works. (besides, if you really care about people curating their own experience you wouldn't block people. you can filter and blacklist and never see them again while still granting them the same freedom instead of actively making their experience worse.)

you say its to avoid drama. but seeing a post you dont agree with is not 'drama'. and blocking is not solving anything except for you personally. fandom was more fun when we remembered that every user is a real person you share a space with, and probably some mutuals as well, so you find a way to live with each other. starting with a restraining order seems a bit excessive and is not contributing to anything. it's not that hard to be respectful and tolerate others and acknowledge people have different opinions and interests and still co-exist in peace. its not that hard to be nice to people and try to find common ground with them and interact with the stuff you DO like. you do this in every aspect of your real life, so why not online?

i hear you say: 'but that requires WORK and i don't NEED to do any of that bc i can just block them'.

yeah, you can try to create your own bubble and only hang out with like minded people but you wont EVER fully achieve that (no matter how much you block, social media WILL keep feeding you posts you disagree with bc it makes them money). social media WILL pressure you into an 'us vs. them' mentality where you constantly feel like everything online is a threat or an argument you have to win and where being mean and unnuanced gives you the most notes and where you don't even see, let alone be able to treat, other users as people anymore bc you don't interact with them anymore other than to block or fight them. that's not how i want it to be online. it's not fun to me. and maybe i'm a pessimist but i think it will eventually be the death of online fandom and sites like tumblr. look at the state of twitter right now. DOES blocking give you a better experience in the long run? i doubt that it does. overall, i think it makes people even less tolerable and more vulnerable to hate and fear mongering, and social media an even more hostile place.

it's everything i hate about social media and everything i want to fight against and WILL fight against. i won't pretend my meager contribution will change anything, but i LIKE to just scroll past posts i don't vibe with and not see every argument online as a personal offense. it keeps me curious. most posts aren't that bad when you know the person behind it. i mean, you do you, i'm not gonna say what you should or shouldn't do bc that's up to you, but i recommend it: free yourself of the block button and bring back supportive user communities based on a shared love for the same thing and focus on what you have in common with people, just like you would do in real life. save the block button for the rotten apples who DO keep trying to pick fights and exclude others.

(which is, now that i think about it, probably the main difference: most people see the block button as a neutral way to prevent worse. but. that's only the case on an individual level. and treating everything online as an individual choice to which there are no further consequences, especially if they happen on a larger scale, is already a loss.)

[odinsblog]

So here is the long and short of it:

Google used (uses) geofencing data, location data that undeniably shows where you and your phone have been.

Google sells this data to data brokers and advertisers, whether you like it or not. And yeah, it wouldn’t surprise me if Apple also did/does this, but if they do, Tim Cook has done a yeoman’s job of keeping it secret.

Google also hands out your location data to police departments (and governmental agencies led by conservative, anti-abortion Republicans, but I’m sure that’s unimportant, right?).

Now—and here’s the crux of the matter—just as the government was using Google’s location data to prosecute January 6th rioters, Google has had a sudden change of heart and will effectively limit their ability to remotely store your GPS information on their servers (which means it will mostly only be available locally on your Android phone’s hard drive, thus making it significantly harder - not completely impossible - for Google to give the police access to bulk location data, even if presented with a search warrant).

The bottom line is, it was always wrong for Google to collect and then sell their “reverse location search data” to advertisers, data miners, the police and the government. The germane question is, why now? Why has Google suddenly found Jesus, so to speak, and decided that customers privacy rights are sacrosanct, just as the U.S. government is using that data to prosecute Trump sycophants who wanted to overthrow the election?

SN: I think the whole green bubble vs. blue bubble argument is a stupid made up problem by whiny people who don’t have enough real problems in life (if you disagree then please go make your own post), and Idgaf if you’re an Android or an iPhone user. If you’re happy with your phone, that’s all that matters — but our privacy rights constantly being violated isn’t trivial, that’s actually very important. And Google suddenly deciding that now is the best time for them to end their practice of ratting people out seems highly sus.

👉🏿 https://www.emptywheel.net/2023/11/25/the-maga-tourist-geofence-and-the-violent-confederate-flag-toting-geofence/

👉🏿 https://www.forbes.com/sites/cyrusfarivar/2023/12/14/google-just-killed-geofence-warrants-police-location-data/

[valyrfia]

RE: This ask on fanfic, fandom, and lestappen

(preface with, I love fanfic and fandom, and I've written for very big and small)

I have never experienced such bad fandom etiquette as I have with 1633. I wrote one multi chapter fic for the ship and 99% of ao3 comments I got were people asking when I'd publish the next chapter, which has always been a big no no in fandom. I deleted the fic because it felt bad that people didn't want to engage with what I had written, but, just ask about my update schedule. Also, people changing the date of their published fic to be more recent, so, it appears at the top of the 'recently updated page'! I have never seen this in any fandom before now! AO3 isn't Instagram! If you tag correctly, people will find your fic if they want to read it.

People are pushing 1633 constantly in very public spaces like Twitter, Insta and TikToK, where we know these drivers have accounts and look at comments/posts about them or on their own posts. Just today on Twitter I see Dan Howell (which what a fucking weird intersection of my past and current interests) being asked at a public panel about lestappen, just because he's mentioned liking F1 in the past. I know it gets easy clicks and engagement because it is popular. But, it's so far removed from behaviour that was ever considered acceptable in fandom.

I remember, back in 2013/14 there was a huge backlash to people bringing up fictional ships to actors/writers. There was discourse after every Supernatural or Teen Wolf fan forum/con panel when someone would inevitably ask about Destiel or Sterek. People would argue whether fanon and ships were appropriate to ask the real people behind the show about.

RPF is fine, I have written, currently write and will continue to engage in RPF spaces. But, there are boundaries that you must keep if you are going to engage with it. Tumblr and AO3 have always been considered locked fandom spaces. If a person goes onto these sites and searches themselves out, that's on them. But, it's implied in fandom that you keep to just these spaces or private chats

(personally, I'm sad I just missed out on the livejournal days... I got into fandom when everything was being moved over from there and fanfic.net onto ao3)

I understand younger social media users are used to an algorithm finding content for them. And on sites like Tumblr where the algorithm sucks or ao3, which doesn't have one. You have to search out the content you want yourself. Liking and kudos isn't enough, you actually have to engage in meaningly conversations and comments if you want to make friends. That can be scary! But, it's a soft skill that is slowly getting lost and with it fandom etiquette is going down the drain.

This is like...one of the last big serious ask I want to reply to on this topic because not everyone agrees with me (which, fine), but OP you put a lot of time into typing this up so I will honour that.

I think fandom, much like a lot of other things nowadays, have become less about fun and more about hitting a certain number of likes and interactions. That's why people push Lestappen on other social media even though most of us have explicitly said "can you not, thanks". The changing the date of the fic to push to an 'algorithm' infuriates me and is a personal pet peeve of mine. There's one that's doing that now on the Lestappen tag and I've point-blanked refused to read it literally BECAUSE of the date changing. People will read your fic if they want to, constantly pushing it to the top of the 'Date Updated' list does nothing except piss people off.

I will say I think the fictional ship discourse of 2014 was maybe driven in part by the fact that being gay was still seen as something much more 'novel' than even now. If we think about when marriage became legal in the US and all that...I still think though that it shows a level of self-awareness and self-regulation that we've lost in fandom. As my partner and I often to lament to each other, we've become so individualistic that people have lost the concept of shame. It's an idea that YOU are the exception and something should cater to YOU, instead of the other way round. In the case of fandom, this comes out as people acknowledging fandom etiquette in an abstract way, but still logging into their twitter account (WITH THEIR FACES ATTACHED! WHICH! THIS IS A TANGENT BUT IT BAFFLES ME! WHAT HAPPENED TO DIGITAL FOOTPRINT!) and posting about RPF. Fandom is not an abstract entity, fandom IS the people that interact with it–from authors to artists all the way to those who consume the content.

Also, I also JUST missed out on the lj days–the great migration was happening just when I was getting involved in fandom and I can't help but feel like I missed out on something special.

[xxwritemeastoryxx]

What the Future Holds Ch. 1

Author: xxwritemeastoryxx

Pairings: No set pairings.

Word Count: 3198

Warnings: 18+ MDNI please! There really isn't anything to warn about in this one. We're just getting started. There canon typical threats and mentions of free will being taken away. A single mention of being sold. I think that's it.

Author’s Note: This should have been out ages ago, but it's finally done and ready for you guys! Also I would like to note that in this chapter, the twins are 20 years old. I usually try to keep age out of my fics but for some reason it was a detail that was needed. However, before we fully jump into the story the twins will be 25.

I do not and will not ever give permission for my fics to be copied and posted on other sites. Don’t do it. Don’t be that person that ruins it for me and everyone else.

Feedback gives me life and motivation for future things. While likes are appreciated, reblogs are gold. Seriously, if you enjoyed this in the slightest, please reblog ♥

A sense of deja vu washed over the L/Ns as they stood within the Mikaelson study. Elijah had stood by the large bay windows as he went over the written contract in his hands. Each paragraph of it he had read thrice to ensure he hadn’t missed anything. Anything to help them out of their own stupidity.

“What persuaded you to go to the De Martels?” Elijah’s voice had almost sounded bored. Almost as if he wasn’t worried about the details that the pages contained. But after being around for as long as he had, it was as easy as breathing to make it seem like there was nothing to be worried about.

“We weren’t meeting deadlines as we should have been.” Dante L/N had said keeping his chin up. Unlike his visit with his rather distant grandmother, he wouldn’t look away from Elijah. He knew that all he had to do was blink the wrong way and there was a possibility of not opening his eyes again. “With the recent region transfer of powers, we were close to losing everything.”

The regions were constantly changing. Ever since the uprising, country and state lines no longer existed. Territories were claimed through slaughter while creating new lines. Regions belonged to those who had dared to take it over and maintain it. This family of L/N’s had lived on the border of where the De Martels had taken over and where The Mikaelsons had control of the region.

The Mikaelsons’ region contained what used to be a majority of the southern states. Most of the gain had been due to Klaus claiming it. Taking out the annoying young that refused to listen had been easy. Running the region had been a completely different story. One that Klaus left Elijah to deal with.

The stories that had been passed down through the generations had expressed that Elijah had changed since the vampires had taken over the world. The nobility of the Original vampire had died the moment his eldest sister had been murdered at the hands of humans that sought out to rid the world of the supernatural.

The L/Ns hadn’t personally known the Mikaelsons until recently. The young couple had barely made it back home after the birth of their twins when they were introduced to the Mikaelsons. A binding contract had been made that night. One that would ensure that the family would be protected until the children became of age.

“Why not come to me with these matters?” Elijah asked as he placed the contract down on the table. “The De Martels may have obtained new territory, but that does not instantly grant them ownership of business.”

It amused Elijah on how easily humans nowadays would jump into the agreement with vampires without looking over anything. While at times it had been amusing, he longed for the days that the humans would actually think before making a deal with a devil.

“Much like the night you came to us,” Dante began. “The De Martels had come knocking. Every piece of data had been combed through and used to present us with this offer. I believed it to be beneficial, until Clara had expressed how blindly I had gone into this.”

A small smirk pulled at the corner of Elijah’s lips. “How is the darling Clara doing these days?” He had known Clara for a handful of centuries. While he had never interfered in her life in ways he wished he had, he watched as the woman had grown into a power of her own. “Must have been one painstakingly long night if she looked over this.” He waved his hand towards the contract.

“Is there truly no loophole?” Dante’s wife asked, ignoring the questions that had been asked by the vampire. “I do not wish to be rude, but I know the safety of my children is at stake. And with that safety is also the agreement we have with your family. I’d hate for it to be violated by my husband's mistake.”

Elijah sighed as looked at her. “There is no loophole. The De Martels know how to work things in their favor. But with or without your husband’s ‘mistake’.” His eyes flashed over to him for a moment before looking back towards her. “I give you my word that I will do everything in my power to ensure your children stay safe.” He watched as she let out a shuddering breath. Even if the stories said he had become ruthless, everyone knew his word was binding. Elijah Mikelson never broke his word.

“Thank you.” She said with a slight nod.

He nodded in return. “How are their lessons?”

The three of them knew this was a way to change the subject. To change it in a way that would give the two humans some breathing room, even if it was just for a moment.

“Alexander is thriving.” She said with a smile pulling at her lips. “We believe that in a few years time he’ll be able to take over the business and when the time is right, he’ll do fine with the prophecy you’ve told us.”

“What of Y/N?” Elijah asked and he watched their faces fall. It caused him to raise a brow.

“Her head is in the clouds more.” She said with a sigh. “It is as if she knows that her life will be set and the importance of lessons isn’t at the top of her list.”

“Perhaps I should speak with her.” Elijah offered. He watched their eyes widen for a moment in fear. “Fear and ignorance is what has led us into our current situation. Striking fear into Y/N will do nothing but hinder her. It is my intention to help steer her in the right direction.”

“With Compulsion?” Dante asked, a bit of venom lacing his words. The need to protect his daughter rising within his veins.

Elijah scoffed. “Anyone else would. They’d actually do worse to her in order to get her to fall in line.” With each word that he said the two in front of him had their fear grow at the possibilities that could happen to their daughter. “It’d be easy to bend her mind to do as needed. To make her obedient. However, my method of speaking to someone who could potentially change the course of things isn’t to manipulate them in any way. I was merely suggesting a moment to encourage her to use those clouds she's found herself in to her advantage.”

If there was one thing that hadn’t changed with Elijah, his way with words was enough to give the right push without so much as using compulsion. There were other methods to ensure things were done as they needed to be. And while he would occasionally use compulsion to his advantage on numerous occasions, using it on Y/N was and never would be considered an advantage. Not when some twist in Fate deemed the L/N twins the very two that would give the world back the balance nature so desperately wanted.

Before the Vampires had taken over, Freya had strange premonitions that gave heavy meanings to peace and balance. Flashes of a future that seemed so chaotic and almost barbaric had plagued the witch for weeks with no understanding of what it could mean. What threat the Mikaelsons would face.

Elijah could easily remember the day Freya had told him and their siblings of some prophecy that was shown to her. The details were almost laughable. How could a world change so much to warrant nature to demand a balance when the details of it all had seemed so fictional. While the majority of the siblings had brushed it off, Elijah had asked for every details.

“The natural balance of things will be threatened. I do not know by who or what, let alone when this chaos is supposed to unfold.” Freya explained. “I just know that a particular set of twins from a particular bloodline are supposed to be the balance that we will need.”

“What kind of balance would they even be capable of providing?” Elijah asked. He had known about several covens and their fascination with twins.

“One will stay human. The other will become a vampire when the time is right.” She explained. “What I’ve seen of them, they aren’t of current times. It will be some time before they are even born, let alone old enough for what needs to be done.”

“Nature doesn’t wait for it’s balance to manifest generations later.” He noted.

“I know.” She sighed. “That is where it doesn’t make sense. Why will the balance favor vampires so easily? All I know are the images and names of the children. Something horrible is going to happen, Elijah and I don’t know if I’ll be around to help fix it.”

“Tell me how I can help.” He offered, wanting to ease the worry that was building up within his sister.

“Unless you know fraternal twins named Alexander and Y/N L/N, then I don’t even know where to start with the help.”

A month later the world descended into chaos and there wasn’t much the Mikaelsons could do to stop it from unfolding. They could only adapt as the world changed. Including murdering the hundreds of humans that had hunted down and murdered every witch within New Orleans, including Freya.

Elijah had kept every detail Freya had told him locked within his mind. A way to hold on to not only the memory of his sister, but to make sure he did everything he could to help fulfill the prophecy that she had seen.

It had been Clara that had told Elijah about the twins when they had been born. At first it had only been mentioned out of disbelief. The L/Ns never had twins in their family and the first set had been born within the freedom of her protection. From there, Elijah had questioned about their names. And when he had every detail, he knew they were who Freya had seen.

That had been twenty years ago. Elijah had created a contract that would work in the world’s favor. The twins would get the protection they needed while ensuring they received the proper education and training for what was destined for them. While Elijah had hoped that ‘right time’ wouldn’t come until they were well into their twenties, he couldn’t be a hundred percent about it. All he could do was prepare them.

“She does prefer you over her recent tutors.” Her voice broke Elijah from his thoughts of the past. “Maybe speaking with you would be best.”

She was trying to ease the tension that was growing between the three of them. It hadn’t been a lie though. The three of them had noticed the way Y/N had preferred the way Elijah tutored her over the hired tutors. She wasn’t so easily distracted with the humans that tried to keep up with the lessons that Elijah had instructed the twins take.

Elijah nodded his head. “Have they traveled with you?”

“Of course.” Dante nodded.

“Then send her in and I’ll discuss it with her.” That was the only kind of dismissal that Elijah was giving them. He wasn’t going to continue the conversation when he knew it would lead to Elijah probably losing his temper on Dante over his stupidity.

He watched as the pair collected their things, including the contract and stepped out of the study. Elijah had been alone for only a few moments before Y/N had stepped into the room. She hadn’t even bothered to knock on the door. And for a brief moment, an amused smile pulled at Elijah’s lips.

“My parents said you wished to speak with me?” She asked as she closed the study door behind her.

It was strange to see how much she had reminded him of how humans used to react before things changed. In comparison to her parents Y/N didn’t give off an ounce of fear. Where her mother had kept her eyes downward, Y/N’s eyes stayed focused on him. There wasn’t even fear that he’d use compulsion with how she held his gaze.

Her eyes had matched her mother’s but there were flecks of silver that seemed to find a new home within her irises any time she blinked. Alexander’s eyes had the same thing but with gold flecks. But unlike Y/N, the flecks never seemed to change position as hers did. But there was one thing for certain as Elijah took in her eyes. She did not fear the world around her one bit.

“I did.” He nodded his head. “I was told your preference of tutors is making it difficult to focus on your studies.”

The neutrality she had on her features the moment she walked in had now shifted. A slight frown had pulled at her lips. However her eyes never left his face. “It’s not a matter of preferring specific tutors. It feels one sided.” When she watched him raise his brow, she continued. “The tutors are human. Any history lessons that are being provided are from that of a human. A human that has learned the details with prejudices embedded. I find it difficult to understand it when venom is laced in the words so often.”

A small hum of acknowledgement had left Elijah. “That is the point of some of those lessons. Words spewed out of hatred when the world descended into chaos will give you an opened mind when learning of what can be prevented. Yes, a vampire could give you more in depth details and firsthand accounts. It would include, if not be filled with more of the same venom about humans.”

“I understand.” She nodded. She paused for a moment, sorting out her words. “I know my tutors have been switched out more often than Alex. I do try, Elijah. I pass my courses and attempt to stay on track. But-”She stopped herself. A string of thoughts playing through her mind that she should probably keep the matter to herself. “I will make sure I do not disappoint.”

Elijah hadn’t missed the way she stopped herself or how her eyes had shifted away as she decided against whatever it was she was about to say. He had known how many times the tutors had changed. He had been the one to replace them each time. He just never understood why, until he was speaking with her now.

“Alexander doesn’t receive the same venom in the lessons.” It wasn’t a question, but Y/N began shaking her head quickly.

“No. He does not.” Her eyes hadn’t come back up to Elijah. She had now been looking down at her hands. “I know this prophecy like the back of my hand. I know I am supposed to help restore the balance with Alex. I am human until necessary. I do not expect to be treated as some savior that has the world at their feet.” She finally brought her attention back up to Elijah. She could see something different within his eyes that she didn’t believe she had seen before. She just couldn’t place what it was. “But I’d prefer not to be treated as if I am filth for being the one to become a vampire in this deal.”

“You haven't mentioned this to your parents?” Elijah found himself walking around the desk, attempting to give some comfort. Though he made no move to actually do so.

“Not since the first time.” She shook her head. “They feel as though I am crying wolf when Alex doesn’t have the same thing happening to him.

Elijah nodded. “Tomorrow, you’ll have a new tutor. Alexander will continue on with the one he currently has.” When he saw her open her mouth to protest, he held up his hand. “A vampire one to ensure the cycle doesn’t continue.”

“My parents-”

“Will be made aware of who they will be inviting into their home.” He gave a single nod of his head. “We will try it this way. If there isn't improvement, we’ll change it back to the way it was.” Elijah watched as she nodded her head. “That will be all.”

Y/N nodded her head before she turned around to leave. She had barely taken a step before turning back around. “Elijah, there is something you should know about, that my parents do not know yet. Only because I wouldn't put it past them to tell you.”

“What would that be?” He asked.

“I’ve- we’ve been having visions of things.” She watched the way his eyes widened slightly. “Things from the past and possibly future things from the look of it. But it wakes us up like a nightmare. Alex denies that it’s happening, but I can hear him pacing at night just after I have mine.”

“What was the last thing you saw?” He asked curiously.

“Chaos.” She shrugged slightly. “Witches being murdered. A woman with blonde hair tried to reach out, but couldn’t. It was like she was trying to tell me something and I couldn’t figure it out.”

“How often do these happen?” He knew this was something to do with who the twins were, what they were meant for.

“It randomly happens. Once or twice a month. But the first one happened the night of our birthday. “

Elijah moved back towards the desk and opened one of the bottom drawers before coming back around. He came to a stop directly in front of her and handed her an empty journal. “Write them down, please. Any detail you recall once you wake. Even if it frightens you to think, write it down. The next time either I drop by or your parents come to see me, bring it. That way we can try to piece together what you are seeing.”

Taking the journal, she held it close to her and nodded her head. “It's getting close, isn't it?”

Elijah sighed softly. “That I don’t know. But it seems like it may be the beginning of it.”

Her eyes fell to the journal in her hands. “There's one vision that I think you should know about now.” She couldn't bring her eyes back up. Not with what she was about to tell him. And the thoughts of the vision actually caused her eyes to well up.

Elijah hadn't missed the way her voice almost dropped to a whisper. Nor did he miss the way she was purposely keeping her attention from him. And for the first time since he met Y/N, he saw the fear that was seeping into her.

He gently brought his fingers under chin and lifted it, bringing her attention towards him. He saw the tears instantly and if anything the silver flecks in her eyes were almost gone.

“What is it?” His voice had almost been the same level as hers, with a comforting touch.

“I was still human.” She began. A need to make it known that detail was clear in the vision. “I was sold to Purgatory.”

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[the-9th-genderfluid]

I finally got the digital ticket and bonus features of TGWDLM!

I got the digital ticket and bonus features for TGWDLM and will be putting realizations and stuff I like in this post so its gonna be a long one. A really long one. I'm sorry if this monstrosity of a post happens to cross your feed.

During the small bonus stuff:

I did not realize that the cast is truly that unhinged until the Kickstarter blooper real.

I do wish they had time to keep the clickbait/ top ten news site plot. It seems fun.

The Lipschitz name is from the landlord that was cut from the musical what? IDK what to do with this information.

The fact in the OG script, the meteor landed in a football field ( If Mariah's audition tape is to be believed) meaning the fan theory I once saw that the reason the hive mind sings is because its first victims were theater people so they were doing musical stuff so the spores thought that was how ppl acted on this planet would not work if the script had not changed that detail.

The Dracula arms becoming dabbing is great, I'm surprised but happy that it was not cut.

As a techie, the non actors dancing along in the corners is so accurate.

During the main musical stuff:

(Mostly not new things that the digital ticket version taught me, just me pointing out things I like, funny lines, etc.)

Paul and his autism face during the ted introduction scene

The small dialogue changes between the potshot on Youtube and the digital ticket are all very interesting. The first one I realized was Emma saying "please no come back." instead of "so mean." when man in a hurry says he will never buy there again.

Why does Paul look so awkward while Emma rants about her job.

Right as Lah Dee Dah Dah Day ends, you can hear a character saying "quick change quick change" as they run off stage. Cute and fun detail, I love it.

Legally required to mention the "think about the implications" scene. It is truly iconic. Are you frightened?

I feel like Emma would have a tumblr.

Kind of off topic, but they mention boardgames in the shrub scene, and specifically settlers of catan. I want to announce this is a settlers of catan hate blog, I would rather die than play it ever again. I am Paul hating musicals levels of hatred for that game. If you write anything positive about it, i will actually block you.

The entire alley/ trash can scene is amazing and I love it.

Paul constantly reeks of neurodivergent.

I may be ACAB, but god is Show Me Your Hands amazing and catchy.

Jeff struggling with props is my spirit animal, I am also chronically clumsy

As someone who was raised Christian, Ted's different denominations comment is so accurate to how some people act.

Iconic lines like kick your......head and fuck Clivesdale.

Paul and Emma's whole deep conversation about their childhoods and dreams takes place like two meters from Bill and Ted, and I always forget that because of the way it's cut but like it's funny to think about because it feels so personal, but the two guys are just... there.

Join Us (And Die) is horrifying. I feel like we need a musical where Jaime is the lead? I hear she is pretty vital to the Me and My Dick musical, I will have to watch that later I guess?

While Hidgens is pitching working boys, Ted is so invested, this is why you need to see both unedited and potshot of the musicals.

I love the references that aren't even references yet that the musical makes to NPMD and nightmare time.

I actually love the crack ship of the working boys polyamory theory.

The "should I take the chair?" "yeah and I will take the piano." bit is peak comedy.

I am not the first person to mention this at all, but Ted saying "I bleed red, white and..." *background turns blue* is so smart, bravo team Starkid.

I always cry at let it out, poor Paul.

I love the meta crowd thing the bows do, with Emma seeing the audience, even if its a repeat from Trail to Oregon, it's still good.

As a techie, I want to do lighting for TGWDLM sooo bad.

It's 2 am right now, and I have to decide if I finish this post tonight by watching the commentary video and editing the spelling errors, or if I decide not to fuck up my sleep schedule.

I decided not to completely fuck my sleep shedule, so it sadly took me a couple days.

The commentary video:

I actually don't have many comments after seeing the commentary video, but the things I do mention are long rants, mostly my own similar stories from the high school musical I did tech for.

Lauren hiding from her performance with a eye mask and earbuds is a mix of sad and funny. I hope she has more confidence now, because she is absolutely amazing.

Robert had tonsillitis?! God being sick while doing a musical sucks, half our cast and me had a cold or something for the show. I was right next to the camera because of the location of the tech booth, and so in the recording you hear me trying not to cough and failing for most of the show. I felt so bad.

People saying stuff about Melissa and obnoxious teen/hot chocolate boy surviving as a joke has me thinking thoughts because the actor that played Melissa played Steph, and hot chocolate boy ended up being Pete. IDK what thoughts I'm having, but I'm having them.

Jaime making props, without being asked, is so nice of her.

Omg, Jeff was sick too! That really sucks. The closest thing to a actually accident that would make us end the show was when we had a stage fall turning into a real fall because the actor was too dramatic. Damn theater kids!

Omg the megaphone stories are giving me flashback to the fucking piece of shit mics we had. Half of them would not actually work, one had to be constantly re adjusted and turned back on, the main girl's mic had way too much feedback, the other girl sang way too quiet and had a not great mic meaning you could never hear her, and for one performance, two of the actors somehow got mics mixed up and I had to spend so long switching channels to fix it. No one actually knows how it happened. I literally made jokes that someone must have walked the mic boxes under a ladder, opened a umbrella inside, and said Macbeth around them for how much of a pain they were.

Jeff despising the brain prop is great. Sometimes a prop is a stupid nightmare that you want to light on fire at the end.

What was Jeff doing to forget the main character's name? How did he land on Steve? He literally wrote some of the songs? I have so many questions.

Them not having the meteor prop until the opening day is terrifying to me, I would cry if that happened to me.

I want to reiterate my want to do tech, specifically lighting for this musical.

Ok that's all I have to say, I am going to go watch the musical again, bye babes, boys, and boomerangs

[scp-tiggles]

Scp 173

100% ler | 0% lee

As a ler:

Okay your best option is to PRAY when you see it

Theres quite literally no way to escape if it catches you, it pretty much teleports, and somehow knows every victims spot.

The ONLY way to stop it is if your staring at it, if it were to catch you, game over.

Now, surprisingly (or unsurprisingly?) its pretty mellow as a ler, it will keep track of whoever its tickling is reacting in order to avoid hurting them.

Can summon multiple arms to aid with a lee.

Despite being made of mainly concrete and wire, it’s practically animated (only when someone isnt looking or if it has someone in its clutches), meaning its a good ler.

Cant tease since it cant really speak.

I say really as it does tap on walls in morse code from time to time, but rarely does so.

It’s hyper intelligent. Hence why its such a threat at times, it breaches almost constantly and cant feel anything, so you cant even try beating it at its own game!

Doesnt have favorite lees as it basically holds everyone to a ‘favorite’ status.

As a lee

..yeah good luck, bro has no nerves. (Bwomp)

Scp 131, 131-2, and 131-3

20% ler | 80% lee

As lers

Okay so these little guys cant do much, as they don’t have fingers. Meaning at best they just lightly poke people.

Mainly when it comes to tickles, its between each other.

Cant speak..at all. None of them can. The closest to speaking is mini, and he can only just make light mechanic whirring sounds

As lees

Okay so they’re, as a collective, adorable.

Now these little guys were made by the foundation along side 079 in the ‘Anderson Initiative’, which, was mainly ran by the head CEO of Anderson robotics when he worked for the foundation. The reason they were made was because they could stare at 173 during breaches, and not need to blink.

This, had a slight downside however..uh..well the foundation gave them nerve sensors much like 079 (who’s, technically their brother-?). So 173 was able to easily bypass them if it caught them off guard.

So, now they basically roam the facility in seek of tickles and affection, especially moe.

Their laughter is very squeaky, and again leans more to mechanical whirring sounds rather than actual..well, laughter.

They all share the same spot, sides.

Miny especially as he folds like a turtle when tickled.

Extra (for 173)

173’s origins are still a bit unknown, but its speculated it was made around the 80’s. Speaking of, it was found under a bridge outside of San Francisco.

Its technically does have a heartbeat right under where the heart graffiti is on its chest.

When speaking in morse code, it’s always asking for someone to ‘blink’. And, by far, is one of the creepier anomalies on site. (Still doesn’t change the fact its still mellow, lol)

Has on more then one occasion fallen over when giving chase, this includes down stairs.

It’s facial expression can actually change, kinda like emoji cons. Heres the following expressions: “:D” (normal) “:[“ (sad) “>:[“ (angry) “X|” (embarrassment?) which, that last expression only happened once. After the stairs incident.

Extra (for 131’s)

While 131 and 131-2 were made as twin brothers, 131-3 was made a bit later on as a ‘little sister’.

They dont need to eat, or feast off laughter like other anomalies. They just kinda chill

They age, surprisingly. They’re kinda like 999, developed but innocent! (Besides moe as she is on the same knowledge level as a toddler, where as mini and miny are about 16-ish mentally).

Which speaking of, they’re permanently short lmao

They cry motor oil, nobody knows why.

Wooo, more scps done! (Originally, i was going to post abel/076 next, but design wise im struggling-)

[centrally-unplanned]

Gonna talk more about the cluster munitions thing, because I think its interesting:

Weapons are not 'special'; they do not fall into dangerous vs safe categories, no weapon is more or less morally pure than the other. Every weapon of war can be used to indiscriminately kill civilians. From this, the "level 1" reasoning would state that the use of any weapon is therefore equally contextual; you just odds-estimate the "median civilian risk" like any other weapon for its use. From this logic using say tactical nuclear weapons is fine, as it is in fact trivial and common in war to arrive at scenarios where the civilian risk of such weapons is more-or-less as low as conventional weapons.

However, humans are not civilian-risk utility maximizers, and the international order is not composed of dispassionate super-rational agents. We govern things through norms & expectations, and constantly run the risk of sunk costs and moral decay. If we allowed tactical nuclear weapons to be used in Ukraine, first off they would not stay in that "low civilian risk" category; once used the pressure to keep using them increases and the ability for them to slip into far more dangerous territory is quite high compared to conventional bombs. Secondly, it would break the norm for other countries - in Ukraine, Russia could be using tactical nuclear weapons, but are not because they know the US & EU would respond extremely harshly, maybe arming Ukraine with the same. No side wants to open those floodgates.

All of this is to say that norms in war do matter, and you don't want to break them lightly, even if there is a solid use case on the micro-level for the weapon. Building these norms takes time and we are better off for them.

Cluster munitions do not, at all, have this norm. People want it to have this norm; that is admirable, and I think there is merit to it. But those people have failed - the military applications for the munitions are too large, and 'risk profile' however you wish to define it too low, for any major military power to actually limit its use. The fact that the EU & Japan have done so is very telling, as they are the countries that virtually always conduct their military operations as part of joint operations for non-critical security concerns, and with US assistance. Actual militaries who consider themselves to face critical security threats, from China to South Korea to Iran to India, have not done this. No 'norm of war' has emerged against their use. (Some norms around minimum detonation thresholds have emerged, maybe, loosely, and ofc there are norms about how to use them, though they aren't cluster-munitions specific in the main).

So certainly shipping cluster munitions to Ukraine is a setback to those hoping to form that norm, its a real cost. But that cost is much less than violating an existing norm, Russia did not hesitate to use cluster munitions and always has in its other military operations like Chechnya. There is no risk of 'escalation', no new major military power is going to go "its time!" - they all already did that decades ago - its not going to change the status quo. Which means you can get back to the granular questions - does the Ukraine war have applications within the acceptable risk range?

Which I don't know the answer to! My instinct is yes, this war has lots of 'remote' combat sites and Ukraine has no interest in killing its own people, but I am not in the field, I do not know. But the Ukrainian Army is in the field, and my default is that they should be listened to - I would need a compelling case as to why this is a large risk escalation and I haven't seen it yet.

[scramblecat]

Because I'm so Normal about characters, I typed out a nearly 3k word long essay/observation on how Handler's opinion on Agent Phoenix changes over the course of all three games. It's basically just reiteration of parts of the games I found relevant, and is by no means coherent, but it was fun to write so I thought I'd post it anyway!

Big huge spoilers for all three games under the cut!

So, let's start with some background, shall we?

In the Agency (more specifically, the EOD) agents are very disposable. They die all the damn time-- we know this not only from various comments from multiple characters throughout the game, but also from the board in the debrief room to Phoenix's right-- which shows a list of agents, from which agents are constantly being shuffled out of.

And that's the whole point of the game's name-- Phoenix, being an agent, is expected to die, because there's so many little things that can go wrong. They're expected to die by not only Zoraxis operatives, but Agency personnel as well.

So it's only natural that Handler has a certain nonchalance towards agents dying. He knows how often they do die, and he's used to it. So he knows not to get attached. Hell, he doesn't even have enough time to get attached, the agents are gone so soon.

I Expect You To Die

Agent Phoenix is a brand-new agent, assigned to the Handler we know and love. And, exactly like all the other agents, he expects them to die. Maybe not immediately, but he knows they're going to die nonetheless. And he's very casual about it.

That's exactly why he seems so unbothered at the end of Operation Deep Dive, because as soon as they got into that escape pod and communications were lost, he just went ah. Whoops, another agent down. Too bad. And that's all there really was to it.

If anything, though, he's impressed with them, even if he doesn't show it. He commented on how many people die in those escape pods all the time, and from the state of the escape pod itself, it's easy to infer that it was a struggle. So perhaps he gains a little more respect for them, and starts taking them a little more seriously after that.

As he watches them perform more and more, his opinion continues to change. No matter how unconventional their methods are sometimes, Phoenix is a damn good Agent, and they pull through again and again and again. In First Class, he's actually starting to enjoy working with them. Based on his 'third favorite agent' comment before First Class, I'd imagine to start out he had multiple agents, but by the time the Death Engine rolls around, maybe he's down to only Phoenix. That, or around the start of IEYTD2, he makes the decision to take Phoenix on as his own agent, to make sure they can continue being an agent in the EOD even after they're supposed to have 'died'.

He's not exactly at the level of attachment yet, but… Even through the chaos of the Death Engine destroying the building next door to the EOD HQ, he's worried. You can hear it in his voice post-mission, when he lets Phoenix know that he and a few Agency personnel are closing in on the crash site of the Death Engine. At this point, he wouldn't be devastated if Phoenix died, but he'd probably be a little saddened and disappointed by it.

And then comes IEYTD2.

Spy and the Liar

In Jet Set, once Phoenix takes down the signal jammer, Handler comes back online, and he sounds a bit frantic as he tries to get a hold of Phoenix again. Usually, he's rather lighthearted during missions, but he puts on a no-nonsense demeanor while he's helping Phoenix re-route the plane. He's worried for them. He also praises them when they do things right, and tells them to chin up, and assures them that they're almost through this. Which is not something he's done before. Not only does he care about their safety, he also cares about their wellbeing, and he's determined to keep both intact. In IEYTD2, he's not only there with Phoenix as another presence, he is also there as moral support, and he leans into that job very much.

When he sees the missile, he becomes more urgent.

For the first time, he's scared for them.

In Eaves Drop, Handler goes with Phoenix-- albeit, not all the way into Fabricator's workshop, but he goes with them nonetheless. I don't know about anyone else, but it surprised me, at least.

Handler is comfortable enough with their skills to know that they're worth going with. They're valued highly by not only him, but the Agency, too-- they've been an outstanding agent, and are very quickly making their way up the ranks mission after mission after the Death Engine, and they are all but considered the best of the best. They're a really fucking good agent. So the Agency knows that they're worth investing in.

In Party Crasher, Handler comments on Phoenix's eye injury. While they've obviously dealt with worse before, he's still fussing over them a little bit.

And it's just little things like this. In IEYTD2 he's so much more invested in Phoenix's work and wellbeing, and it shows. He's getting really attached, and he's not supposed to, but he very much is.

One thing I want to mention before we get to the painfully obvious, though, is the end of Safe and Sound.

Do you remember when I said agents die all the time? That the Agency, and Handler, are both so nonchalant about agents going missing and dying?

Handler says he's been trying to get a hold of Phoenix for hours.

He's personally gone out to search for them. On his own.

If Phoenix was any other agent, he's supposed to let them die. He would not put hours of effort in tracking and searching to try and recover them-- especially not by himself. I have no doubts this choice of action was frowned upon at the Agency, but he was desperate. He needed them to come back alive. Phoenix is the best of the best, so that need was warranted.

And that brings us to the moment you've probably been waiting for me to mention.

Rising Phoenix.

Now, to start, his debrief. 'If anyone can do it, it's you, Agent.' And then he chuckles to himself, '…Agent Phoenix.'

He sounds amused by the name, but also very fond of it.

You know how people who are fostering like. cats and stuff don't give them names because they'll end up getting attached?

That's the final damning piece. He cares so much about Agent Phoenix-- they already weren't 'some random agent' to him after the Death Engine, but now, they're Agent Phoenix. Agent Phoenix, a completely unique person in their own right. He cares about them as both an agent and a person. And he doesn't do a very good job of hiding it.

Throughout the entirety of Rising Phoenix, Handler is at Phoenix's side, helping them along, giving moral support, telling them that it's going to be okay. He's fearing for them just as much as (or even more than, depending on your interpretation) they're fearing for themself.

When Zor is threatening Phoenix, Handler gently tells them to focus, and assures them that they can do this. He tells them to ignore them, stays by their side, reassures them and keeps them calm.

He sounds like he knows what needs to happen when he tells Phoenix they'll fall to their death, but he says it anyway. Maybe there's another way. He can't lose them now. But he knows he's about to.

And then they fall.

And Handler, who's gotten far too attached to this agent that wasn't supposed to live, cries out, yells their name as the elevator plunges.

And Phoenix dies, right before his eyes.

In Handler's report (his final report, that is, about the Juniper incident), he sounds�� different. Handler stumbles on Phoenix's name the first time he says it-- his breath catches mid-word, as if he's trying to hold it together I'm not sure how intentional this was but it's THERE and i lose it EVERY TIME i listen to it and he has to pause for a second after saying it, every time he says it. He sounds like he's trying to hold it together throughout the whole report, and just barely succeeding. I personally like to imagine that this report had multiple takes where he just could not keep it together and had to restart, and that thought kills me dead to have but it's a thought.

Handler thinks Agent Phoenix-- or, in the words of Roxana Prism, his Agent-- is gone. He thinks he watched them die. And he got so attached to them that he's horrendously devastated by the loss.

Cog in the Machine (Tutorial)

So, in the beginning of CITM, the tutorial opens, for the first time in any of the games, without Handler in it. We're greeted instead by a new space, by darkness, and a note on the desk.

It says that this place has been evacuated due to the demolition of the Zoraxis base (nearby this new place), and it mentions Phoenix by name.

It's also addressed as, 'to the next Agent'.

So, we can infer a few things from here, one of which gets confirmed later in the game.

A new Agent was (or is going to be) assigned to this location.

Agent Phoenix is now famous within (and outside of) the Agency. (This is also confirmed on the newspaper on the desk, which cites them as 'one particularly skilled agent')

It's unclear how long it's been since Rising Phoenix or at least I don't know but clearly, it's been plenty of time for word to spread on what happened.

Now, bear with me here while I spout some non-canon information, but this means Handler has likely been hearing about Phoenix's death nonstop since it happened. And knowing how distraught he was over it, it can't have been good for him to be continuously reminded of it. So, this whole time, not only does he think they're dead and he watched them die (and maybe could've done something about it had he acted quicker), but word about it is everywhere.

So, turning back around to my aforementioned idea that by IEYTD2, Phoenix is his only agent, Phoenix submitting their earpiece and identification reconnects them with Reginald and Reginald alone.

When we hear him for the first time in IEYTD3, Handler sounds far different than usual-- he snaps at the person on the other end, as if he's enraged by simply being called. And knowing that he's usually rather lighthearted in demeanor, this in itself is alarming. He's not doing well if he reacts like that.

And then he recognizes who's on the other end.

His demeanor changes immediately. The disbelief and then the giddy joy in his words are also at a level that we've never heard from him before. He laughs-- a full laugh-- and the complete turnaround of his mood is staggering. From this reaction alone, it goes without saying how much he'd truly grown to care for Phoenix before their 'death'. however i am going to continue with saying because the tutorial fucked me up and i cannot emphasize it enough /silly

After finding out that Phoenix is alive, Handler goes right back to himself again, cracking a joke about how he couldn't get rid of Phoenix if he wanted to-- which he could've continued with the same tone of the joke, but an overwhelming amount of sincerity and relief and the winding down of exhilaration replaces it instead as he tells them he doesn't want that.

Throughout the rest of the tutorial, he's extremely enthusiastic, and he fusses over Phoenix ('Speaking of explosion, are… you alright?') and he makes his happiness and relief very clear through reminiscing ('Here! I'll walk you through the rest of it. [pause] …Hah. Just like old times.') ('Haha! That's the Agent Phoenix I remember!').

At one point, he even gets audibly a bit choked up ('Well, I daresay you and I are back on the job! …I… Never thought I'd be saying that again… after we lost you…')

After that, he admits that when he said 'final report' at the end of IEYTD2, he meant he genuinely was planning to leave the Agency. Phoenix's death affected him so much that he was ready to quit his job entirely-- he didn't think it was worth it anymore without them. But at Phoenix's return, he's ready to continue in a heartbeat.

By the end of Rising Phoenix, while it's not readily apparent to both Phoenix and Handler himself, Handler is long past the point of 'getting attached' in the way of 'i like this agent specifically'. After the fact, hearing him both in the briefing he gave and here at Phoenix's return, it's clear that Phoenix means so much more to him than that. Phoenix is his purpose and his reason.

Cog in the Machine

So, in CITM, Handler is overall back to his old self, as full of quips as always. The way he presents himself to Phoenix is very different than the previous two games. He doesn't even try and tone down his friendliness towards them-- he and Phoenix are companions, and there's nothing to stop that fact. To hell with the 'don't get attached' thing, they've been through hell and back together, they're allowed to be close with one another (in any interpretation of the phrase!)

But above all that, throughout the entirety of the game, Handler worries over Phoenix. That worry ranges from simple fussing to genuine, actual panic. I'm mentally ill about this game and character analysis in general so I'm going to cover it case by case.

The first notable instance is in Not A Drill, when the destabilized Kinesium explodes, and Phoenix briefly passes out. Handler is frantically trying to get ahold of them when they return to consciousness, and he is very much pushing to get them out of there fast. He even admits to worrying about them at the end-- while not directly, it's still worry. And in the debrief, he's still super concerned about the kinesium explosion interacting with Phoenix's implant, and alludes to fearing for their life because of it.

In Blind Spot, he checks in on Phoenix if they hit their head on the ceiling after activating the ejector seat, and there's a bunch of little moments like this scattered throughout the game. He cares a lot more if they hurt themself in general, but…

Hot Water.

Operation: Hot Water is the prime example of what I've been talking about in this section.

During the briefing, Handler mentions that another agent experienced a blackout similar to Phoenix's in this same area, and Phoenix is to go investigate it. This already sets the groundwork for him to be concerned about this mission, but as we know… well. Everything goes to shit.

Handler begins to sound nervous as soon as the lab rumbles. He blames it on the wind, and then it happens again, and then Zor's giant squid shows up.

And Handler begins to panic.

When I say panic, I mean panic. He's stuttering, he's audibly having trouble breathing, he's raising his voice.

I'll admit, the first time around, I thought I was just reading too much into his lines-- and then when he commented on it, I thought it was simply going to be played for laughs.

But no.

When the squid comes back, Handler shoots right back into that panic. I'll also admit that at first, I thought he was just scared of the squid, and then he yells that he's getting a wetsuit on. That he's coming to save Phoenix.

Handler, in the entirety of IEYTD3, is terrified for Phoenix's life.

He lost them once. He thought they died. He thought he watched them die. Maybe he thought he could do something.

And he knows that he can't bear to live with that. He now knows how much they mean to him. How badly it hurts when they're gone.

He can't lose them again.

And he'd do anything to keep them alive, if he can. He'd jump into the ocean by himself to seriously risk his life to save theirs. He almost did do that.

Just to make sure they're safe.

Phoenix, over the course of the past three games, has defied Agency expectation in terms of dying. Handler, over the past three games, has defied Agency expectation in terms of caring.

In the first game, he was dismissive about the idea of Phoenix dying. In the third, he's ready to sacrifice anything to save them.

Many expect Phoenix to die. Handler needs them to live.

[olderthannetfic]

I always get ticked off from people who keep trying to push for the monetization of AO3 because that's my favorite thing about the site, honestly. 1) No one here, i don't believe, said fanfic/fanart isn't real art. 2) Fan-made products are taken off of etsy all the time. Every single day this exact thing happens. Etsy shop owners get their shops taken off the site for this! exact! thing! 3) Japan has different copyright laws than in the USA, where AO3 is based. Doujinshi does get some creators in copyright trouble in Japan if they try to create new characters based on the pre-existing work. It happens fairly often. 4) Writers always improve the same way: they write often, read often, edit, repeat, over and over again. We expect writers to break into commercialization the same way the people before them have: you write a novel or a short story anthology, edit, rewrite (rinse repeat), send queries to agents, wait for agents to come back with good news from publishers, then market the hell out of your book along with the publisher (if the publisher has the money to do it). And if none of that is your thing, self-publish. You don't get to monetize your fellow fans' labor just because you're too lazy to figure out how to market your work to let people know it exists. It's easier than ever with the internet. And I wish entitled crybaby fans would get this through their heads: no👏🏽one👏🏽 has the right, or should have the right, to make money off of someone else's story, hard work, or imaginative work. If you're a writer, create something new and do the market research to figure out how to best market it. No one has the responsibility to fund your creative dreams but yourself. Why should anyone care to follow a writer of original works who's most known for writing derivatives of others' IP? Now that we're in the age of IP and copyright ownership of art, why does this need to constantly be repeated? AO3 is free and open for everyone to use. If you want to market yourself and your work, you'll have to do it somewhere else. The internet is vast. Stop being lazy and put in the work like other writers do. 🤷🏽‍♀️

--

Yeah. Fandom is where I honed my craft.

That's the great thing about fandom! People read so much kind of half-baked stuff and genuinely enjoy it. They wouldn't give that same leeway to commercial products. There's also more space for niche interests. That allows a writer to figure out what they actually like instead of just chasing the thing that someone else says sells best.

Lots of people who go pro, including me, write very fandomy stuff. You pick up almost any m/m self- or indie-pub book, and you know in five minutes this is a fic writer. But if we're any good, we can build enough scaffolding for our own worlds and characters. Change the names. Beef up your own setting. Write a complete plot that doesn't rely on being a missing scene from something else. It's not that complicated.

Frankly, if someone "needs" to sell fic, that makes me think they aren't confident in their writing being attractive to others without a major crutch.

[isca-rambles]

6x06 aka why does this show hate joy and my emotional stability Smitty...really should've been fired by now, right? Look, I love a good comedic Smitty but...you know. Lucy messed up at the clown crime scene, even though she wasn't the first officer on site and wasn't responsible for securing the scene, and she got the pissed taken out of her. Do they just not even bother writing Smitty up anymore? Lucy, my love. Also her poster bed is gone :( I only just noticed. fic has me convinced that it's because of sexytimes, but i'll miss that gorgeous massive bed. i always wanted a four poster bed. Tamara baby no don't leave your mother. Lucy being so supportive when her entire life is falling apart. Honestly, Angela, no. You don't get to tell Lucy to sit back and do nothing and then go check on Tim yourself and then not tell Lucy afterwards. She was meant to be your friend too. I know Tim's your best friend but you can't just let Lucy spin out like this. Lucy has his back too but he won't let her be there. GAH. I'm so angry. I do get it, Angela has her priorities and Tim is above Lucy, but it still sucks.

70 degrees? Look, 21 celsius is no joke. I don't know how y'all cope in anything above 16/60 tbh. Also, why would you think it's a good idea to have a bunch of inmates mixed in with a crowd of people constantly changing with multiple escape routes? And no perimeter guard? Angela just tell him to tell Lucy. Better yet, tell her yourself. It's her choice if she puts her career at risk. Gaaaaaaaaah. Stop taking things away from Lucy and that includes her choices. I can't even pay attention to the side plots, or the main plots. Though I do find it funny that Angela just disappeared from work to do this with Tim. Unless she was leaving shift when she ran into Lucy. But this lot do have a habit of disappearing when they should be working. Angela please recognise how in over his head Tim is. Please tell Lucy and the others. Would you be happy if Lucy helped Wesley with something like this and didn't tell you? Told you to just sit back and leave it alone? Yeah, didn't think so. Maybe if Ray hadn't shown up, Angela could've gotten some sense into Tim and gotten him to talk to Lucy. Maybe. Would it have killed you to tell this to Lucy, Tim? You think she wouldn't be willing to keep this to herself? You've seen the lengths she's gone to to protect the people she loves and cares about, even if she's had to work around the law to do so. I want to feel for Tim. I really do. And part of me does, but knowing how this ends up just destroying Lucy, I just can't. I can't. God I wish we'd been able to see Lucy kick Ray's ass. And I'm so glad nothing happened, because obviously I do not want Tamara and Lucy in any danger, but the fics where Ray does do something are just that hit of angsty goodness. But god, I'm so glad they're not canon because that would've destroyed everything with zero chance of rebuilding. Oh Lucy, her rage and terror and sheer frantic anger are so understandable. Tim, please. For the love of god, please. Let your wife help you. He's her fierce protector and he's so focused on keeping her safe from his past, he doesn't see how much he's hurting her. He can't and won't stop protecting her. He's physically unable. The terror and conviction in his voice when he says that to her. He's trying to protect her from his past, but he's still hurting her so much. That amazingly gorgeous and angsty fic where Angela tells Tim how he broke Lucy's heart, the one thing he was meant to protect? That. So much that. With the lies, the break-up, pretending it was all to keep her safe and make her life better. God Tim, you need to recognise how much pain you caused her. Please. I want a full ass apology and a full ass adult conversation in S7. Full. Oh, Percy West. God, we need more of him. We need him with Lucy as well. I've read some gorgeous fics where they have the best father/daughter relationship before and after Jackson's death. God Tim, I know it's killing him to lie to West and Grey. But this is not the right route to go down, Tim. Please. Honey. Honestly, all I can repeat is what Lucy says. Why are you doing this? This entire scene is killing me. It's so well done, it really is, but good god it hurts. The way she's waiting for him, pulls him into a hug. He knows what he's going to do and he lets himself get drawn into that hug because he knows it might be the last one. The way she cradles his head like he usually does to her. She sees him breaking and she tries to hold him and support him. It's killing her to see him break like this. And the look on her face as she realises what he's saying. Good god. These are two very talented actors. I wish I could dissect this scene better but honestly I'm just too upset. Her holding his hand. Clinging to his shirt. The forehead kiss. Her looking so utterly lost and destroyed as he leaves. Tim please. I mean, the man obviously needs help and he needs to work on his own shit, so the break-up isn't an awful idea. But the way he went about it is just the worst. He can't make decisions for Lucy if he loves and respects her. AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[pancakeke]

does anyone have experience confronting their employer about your responsibilities getting wildly out of sync with your job title? my title is supply chain analyst but more than 50% of my work is not supply chain related at all anymore. I'm being treated mostly as a data analyst. data analyst salaries are 10% higher than supply chain analysts salaries in my area plus there are many more job opportunities for data analysts. I want a title change.

also does anyone have experience writing a resume when your responsibilities are not related to your title? should I just say I'm a data analyst because that's the work I'm doing or is there some special section I can add noting secondary work as an unofficial data analyst. there is other shit I do very often too that is barely related to either role.

anyone who has been following me for a while is gonna think I'm sooo late to this realization but it's getting pretty clear to me that my workplace is not going to stop pushing me into roles that I'm not appropriately compensated for, and because these roles are not official I will never receive any support, even when I explicitly request it. I have already been denied support multiple times.

this isn't just random people asking me to do one-time odd jobs either. our COO, CFO, and multiple directors ask me directly to do shit like investigate errors in our website and its tools to uncover what is causing data to display incorrectly. this is to shift labor off our web dev team and onto me, why us paid way less than a developer. I do NOT know ANY programming, I just know the database. this has happened five or six times now.

I also manage customer issues directly with the customers because our sales team does not appropriately train anyone in their department. I create orders for them too because they can not be trusted to enter them (not because they're untrained, but because they were not entering these intentionally). I provide records and reporting for accounting audits. I build weird calculators and generators in Excel for every department except two (IT and web dev) because those two can't justify devoting time to those projects and integrating them into our site. I create extremely weird queries to trace information that out database does not track appropriately (and this will never be fixed).

there are zero docs for anything I do except the ones I personally wrote, and only very limited notes scattered around. I was never trained and only picked sql and stuff up cause when I was a buyer digging into data helped me solve problems more efficiently. I have been begging web dev to tell me when they update anything because they keep breaking extremely serious tools but they have been ghosting me entirely. literally all they have to do is CC me on update emails but they won't do it.

also there isn't anyone else in the company who is proficient in sql and stuff (outside dev, and they're miles above me) to back me up so if I'm overloaded or need other help I'm shit out of luck. this makes taking PTO a fucking nightmare too because I'm always in the middle of helping someone out of a fucking fire and everyone does that shit where they say I can take PTO any time I want without worrying but then constantly assign me with critical tasks and demand results asap.

It is beyond time for me to be realistic about this job and what I want to do with myself 40 hours a week until I die, so I need to start working toward either making my current situation more tolerable or going elsewhere.

[hypnofantasma]

"Where's the Ulterior Spectacle remake?"

I know i've gotten this a ton of times, and seeing how it's been a couple years since i said it'd exist, i decided i'd give all of my reasons why it's taking So Damn Long. hopefully, this'll reduce the amount of... hate? judgement?? i keep getting regarding this song.

1) The only reason I SHOULD be giving: the simple fact that I am working on an immense universe

I'm not working on JUST Stars Below, and even THEN, a remake has the lowest priority of all when it comes to new Stars Below songs, character development, design solidification, etc. I'd rather solidify the world and story FIRST before making a remake that might swiftly become outdated once again if I rush it. This is also why songs IN GENERAL have been slow; I'm refining the story. It's a HUGE WIP.

I'm not a company, I'm One Single Person with OCs on the internet. If I don't work on one singular aspect, I'm sorry? I guess? That leads into...

2) I'm so immensely stressed at the moment that I'm having physical health issues and can't reliably/consistently work on things

Like I still CAN draw, but completed PVs are so high-effort (and risk), low-reward for me right now that I have to make smaller things. That's why I'm focusing on Artfight for now. On top of that, I'm gonna try to get another term of college this year so I can accomplish something tangible in my life and get a degree. (College is ALSO why stuff's been slow)

If you want to know WHAT my health issues are, all you need to know is that I've got visible ribs yet my weight is constantly depleting.

3) People keep reuploading my stuff

People keep taking things from my Discord server and reuploading them on sites like Youtube. If I don't upload something, I do not want it uploaded, plain and simple. No, I am not free game just because I'm on the internet. I'm just an independent artist and not a company, and this is breaking several boundaries of mine.

If you claim it's "out of fan love" or "giving me free promotion", it doesn't change the fact it makes me (and even my community) exceedingly uncomfortable. The big one being reuploaded was Tundra Lens, and while I did make it public again, it was solely to appease the reuploaders. Please don't reupload my stuff.

It's killing my motivation and drive for the Ulterior Spectacle remake.

4) Multiple abusers in my life

I won't dive into this one but just know that, behind the scenes, I have been treated like a goddamn ragdoll. I have been treated like an object by both strangers and people extremely close to me, and I'm drained, man.

These events have been adding to my current status of being physically ill and chronically fatigued.

5) I am currently being stalked by a group who hates me and intentionally mocks me

A certain group of individuals (who will remain unnamed) are currently stalking me, gathering my creations, and making a complete mockery of a project that intends to break all of the universal rules I have crafted. I don't mind if you don't know everything about my universe; it's a lot, after all, and I'm more than happy to educate.

However, this group intends on making a complete mockery of not only my universe but also my art. It is out of malice and not parody. Due to this, I'm almost too scared to post anything, really. I don't want this to stop me, but damn it does it sting. I'll ride this out with god-rivaling perseverance if I have to.

Now....

While all of this is there, I'll also say the remake IS NOT cancelled. I'll be dead before it's cancelled. But I just wanted to give some perspective a little bit, and maybe- if you're someone mad about the lack of the remake so far- you'll understand why a little more.

Just please respect my boundaries for things, don't drum up drama with me, and leave me in peace. That's all I ask. One day this song'll be completed, and it'll be a day where I'm no longer treated as some soulless machine.

Thank you.

[vintagesimstress]

Guess who's back (...kind of...?)

Hello everyone!

It's been 1,5 years. Wow, how the time flies!

You might have seen me lurking around on other simmers' tumblrs, writing a comment or two every now and then, but only now I feel like the time has come for me to return to my own space.

Here's a couple of announcements to get things re-started. I bet you're all busy, so I'll try to keep it short!

Private matters: A massive thank you to everyone who wrote me while I was gone ❤ There was quite a lot of you and I'm afraid I can't reply to each of those messages individually, but just so that you know: I've read them, they made me smile and I'm very grateful for all your kind words. I'm doing perfectly fine, and so is my little daughter. She's a beautiful and fascinating creature, learning new things all the time, and so unexpectedly that it really feels like if she was a sim levelling up and unblocking new interactions ^^

My CC: I still have very little free time and zero chance of going back to my old cc-making habits. That being said, in the past weeks/months I made a couple of teeny tiny things which I'd like to share with you, and also when I'm done with them I might make something new once in a while. Please keep your expectations low though! None of those things are Victorian; the majority (I guess?) aren't even clothes but mod add-ons, bug fixes, bb recolours - stuff like that. Still, someone might find them useful, so why not share?

For some more context, in case you care: my Victorian save got to the point of being quite paralysing (i.e. I wouldn't proceed unless everyone was dressed perfectly, living in perfect surroundings, reflecting not only their times, but also status and personality - and that perfect point turned out to be rather unattainable. Surprise surprise), and I really wanted to have some TS4 fun, so I started the Great British Sim Challenge. From the very beginning. Iron Age. At first I was determined not to make any cc for it and just roll with whatever I'd find, like any normal player, but you know how it goes XD So that's what pretty much everything I'm making is related to those days. Iron Age. Especially campfire. Why does everything I make have to do with the darned campfire...? The challenge is super fun, btw. I mean, for me. My poor sims would probably disagree.

Curseforge: I know many creators have by now moved to that new, EA-curated cc platform, and I've been thinking about doing it myself - even created an account - but in the end, for a number of reasons, decided against it. One of the main ones is that learning to use that platform and uploading there all my creations, old and new, would require quite a lot of time, which I simply don't have. If I have the choice between actually playing the game and having some fun, creating new cc I could share and uploading old stuff on yet another site... well, I guess it's clear which point has the lowest priority. So: nothing will change. Just as before, I'll be posting new things on my Patreon and simblr (linking to the Patreon page); everything will be free ofc, no early access either; and I'll keep constantly updating my downloads page, so that you could easily get an overview of everything I've ever made.

That's all folks! Have a nice day/evening and talk to you soon 😊