#//wakes up grandpa for this before putting him back in the home
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"is this an audience or a mosaic?" Maleanor to Baur
Being within the presence of royalty meant there was a large amount of formality and maturity expected from him. Though Maleanor's words did force the knight to turn his head slightly and stare almost confused from the side he was standing at. It was fairly obvious to him, and he believed her to, but being incredibly blunt as always hardly goes down well even with the General. The princess? He would be a fool to even utter something slightly wrong even if at times it came out that way.
"An audience, my lady. The humans wished to speak on some matter." He had to force down his own opinions. If he could, it would have been a rant on how they could never be trusted to even talk a sentence within the royalty's presence. "General Lilia will be here shortly, I believe. Just in case."
#ic ― baul#wishkept#//wakes up grandpa for this before putting him back in the home#//he helps but complains internally (and externally) 24/7
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Yandere!SAGAU x Secret!Creator!Reader Part 3
Short Summary: You’re on the Crux and want to test the limits of your new abilities. While you’re on your way to Inazuma, more and more people become aware of your existence. characters: Venti, Xiao, Zhongli, Beidou, Kazuha warning(s): none word count: 2221
(Sorry i’ve been inactive. I stopped playing genshin but i’ve come back for my bby Neuvillette. i’m including him soon to this series hehe)
─── ・ 。゚✧: *.☽ .* : ✧.───
The Anemo Archon may be inactive, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t listening. As they always say, the wind carries words… even those meant to be kept secret.
Despite being a god that hasn’t shown himself to his people in ages, Venti is a lot more informed about his nation than most would think. And it’s not just his nation, but other nations as well.
So, when the wind carries the latest rumor to his ears, Venti drops the wine bottle he’s drinking. The glass shatters to the ground, the red liquid seeping into the wooden floors of Angel’s Share. Diluc groans, putting down the wine glass he was cleaning with a tired look on his face.
“Maybe it’s time you head home, Venti. It seems you’ve had too much to drink.”
Diluc’s words don’t seem to reach him as Venti’s aqua green eyes are widened in shock, his face unmoving. The red haired swordsman snaps his fingers in front of Venti’s face.
“You alright there?”
Venti snaps out of it, shaking his head. There’s a large smile on his face that he’s unable to wipe off.
“Yeah… it’s seems you’re right. I’ll be off, now.” He rushes out of Angel’s Share leaving Diluc bewildered at his speed.
“But you haven’t paid…” Diluc sighs, the words dying in his throat. He shakes his head at the Anemo Archon’s erratic behavior, red locks swaying.
As Venti exits the tavern, he jumps into the air and allows the wind to carry him, not caring who sees it.
His small frame is shaking with excitement over the new rumor… but he had to confirm it.
There have been countless times where the words he hears are false…but on the off chance that this new rumor is proven true, it would be groundbreaking.
So, Venti rides the current of the wind, directing it towards the neighboring nation of Liyue where the subject of the rumor was last spotted.
─── ・ 。゚✧: *.☽ .* : ✧.───
You’re shocked, seeing the almost love stricken gaze of the vigilant yaksha.
The curse word slips from your mouth but Xiao doesn’t bat an eye, too dazed.
When you finally regain your senses, you have no time to think about Xiao or how he even knows you’re the creator. All you know is that you’ve been discovered and that you need to get back on the Crux before Grandpa Fuyi wakes up and discovers you’re missing.
With that goal in mind, you close your eyes and try to concentrate, thinking of the lower deck of the Crux and Grandpa Fuyi.
Slowly, you open your eyes but immediately jump back, startled. Instead of the lower deck of the Crux, you’re faced with Xiao who has moved disrespectfully close to you.
Xiao’s body is moving on autopilot, subconsciously bringing himself closer as his mind is only filled with thoughts of you. He wanted in engrain the image of you so deep into his brain that he’d remember every detail even when he closed his eyes.
Your presence is so warm it feels like all of the pain he’s suffered has disappeared in a cloud of smoke. Even just the scent of you is so addicting that he’s unable to remain composed. No matter how disrespectful Xiao may seem for invading the creator’s personal space, the need to be near you overcomes any sense of shame he may have. When he notices your shock, he immediately bows his head down.
He can’t stop the tremble of his hands as he stands so close to you, his heart racing. If he just lifted an arm, he’d be able to touch you. He fights the urge with every bone in his body before speaking so quietly that you almost couldn’t hear him.
“I-I’m sorry! I just… I’ve only ever dreamed of meeting you… to think that you’re really here…”
You don’t notice the internal conflict Xiao is having, only feeling your anxiety rising. If Xiao is already aware of you, who knows who else has been informed of your “descension”.
“Listen, Xiao…” he shivers, hearing you call out his name. You’re heading to the exit, determined to find a hidden spot where you can try again to teleport.
“You may have confused me for someone else. I would love to stay and chat but I have some really serious business I need to attend to-“
“Your grace…”
The deep voice that cuts you off fills you with panic as you slowly turn your head and come face to face with the Geo Archon and the sole reason from your departure from Liyue. His tall stature blocks the only exit, hands twitching as his eyes rake all over you.
Zhongli’s long legs make wide strides over to you. He seems to have lost all reason now that he’s finally found you. That face… so filled with joy that it’s almost insane… it makes you shudder.
With deep fear and desperation, you squeeze your eyes shut.
The Crux, The Crux, The Crux…
Finally, you feel that familiar energy surge through you and you know you’ve succeeded. Zhongli and Xiao watch you disappear before their eyes, the Geo Archon’s hand stretched out to touch you before you vanish completely.
Suddenly, you hear the sound of a tea cup clashing against a table. When you open them again, you’re met with two sets of eyes that stare at you in shock.
In front of you, Kazuha and Beidou sit at a round table, the steam from a freshly made teapot slowly rising in the air as the room is filled with silence.
At least you made it to the Crux.
“Well, hello stranger. That’s quite the entrance you’ve made,” Beidou drawls. Her cheek rests upon her hands as she stares at you with interest.
You’re thinking of excuses to make when Kazuha decides to speak after staring at you for a while.
“You’re bleeding,” he says. Panicked, you look at your clothes for any indication of blood but you’re unable to see anything from the dark color of your clothes.
“N-No, I’m not…” you lie, trying to play it off.
“You are… and it must be a lot since I’m able to smell it all the way from here.”
Of course, you know he’s right. The pain is still there since it hasn’t been that long since you were shot and you’re not exactly an expert at patching wounds.
“Why don’t I help you,” Beidou says. “In exchange for the secret on that little entrance you made.” The leader of the Crux steps closer to you causing you to take a step back.
“No, that’s fine! I’m just passing by. My grandpa is on the lower deck and he’s recovering from a heart attack so I really need to-“
With speed faster than you could even comprehend, Kazuha’s hand grips your wrist tightly, preventing you from leaving.
“You’re too suspicious to let go… state your purpose or we’ll have no choice but to treat you as an enemy.”
Beidou sighs, walking over and patting his shoulder as if telling him relax.
“Give them a break, Kazuha. Can’t you see they’re injured? At least patch them up before you start your interrogations.”
You have half the mind to teleport but their movements are so fast, you’re unable fight back. Within the blink of an eye, your hands are bound and you’re seated on a stool as Beidou lifts your shirt to inspect the wound on your back.
Her eyes widen, seeing the messy cloth stained with golden blood. Her hands pull back so fast it’s as if she was burned. Her ruby red eyes snap to look up at the back of your head.
“The creator…”
Kazuha studies you, his face blank but you can see the surprise in his eyes. Both of them take a step back, as they stare at you in silence.
Unexpectedly, it’s the calmest reaction you’ve witnessed so far.
“What brings the creator aboard my humble ship?” Beidou asks, forcing her voice to stay steady as if a big shot… no… the big shot of Teyvat isn’t bound to a chair on her ship.
You sigh. This is the exact reason you wanted to avoid being discovered.
“I wasn’t lying when I said my grandpa is on the lower deck.”
“The grandpa of the creator…”
“Well, adoptive grandpa… but you know, same thing.”
“You’re heading to Inazuma? What for?”
“…vacation.”
Beidou’s hands move back to you this time, asking permission before touching you. You nod your head allowing her to untie you. She then carefully lifts your shirt and removes the wraps to assess the extent of damage. As you twist your head to look at it, you realize it looks a lot less worse than before.
“Who was stupid enough to attack the creator…” Beidou asks but Kazuha nudges her.
“We tied them up… and threatened them,” he says quietly. As if realizing the severity of their actions, Beidou flinches.
“We greatly apologize, your grace. I hope you can understand us. We were just taking precautions to ensure the members of the ship are safe.”
You nod your head, not thinking anything of it. Beidou helps you patch it up and you wince, feeling the stinging pain.
“I will accept your apology… as long as neither of you speak a word of me being here. Don’t tell anyone what you saw or heard. Act as if you’ve never met me.”
You can sense their confusion. They want to ask you why but they stay silent, only nodding at your request. After Beidou patches you up, you immediately leave to the lower deck of the Crux.
The two of them bow their heads down respectfully, waiting until you are completely out of earshot before speaking.
“You’re gonna keep the creator’s secret, right Beidou?”
“…we’ll see how much mora someone offers me for it.”
─── ・ 。゚✧: *.☽ .* : ✧.───
The pupils of Zhongli’s eyes shake as he stares at the spot you had just disappeared from.
When Zhongli had arrived at Wangshu Inn, he immediately recognized the scent he found back at the house he discovered. Like a hound, he followed the scent to the top of the inn and when he saw you… his whole world froze.
Unlike when he first met you back at the stall, he knows exactly who you are. This time, he was able to truly take you in.
Staring at the full glory of the creator, illuminated by the warm glow of candles, Zhongli thought that you were more than he could have ever imagined. For the first time in his thousands of years of life, he was completely awestruck.
He forced himself to steady his voice, quietly clearing his throat before speaking. But just as he called out to you, just before he was able to feel you, you vanished.
Zhongli feels as if the coldest of waters was suddenly poured all over him. His breath hitches and the emptiness of his hand physically pains him.
You disappeared. No… you ran away. From him.
It wasn’t obvious before, but Zhongli is sure of it now. You are running away from him.
Your stall that had been opened for months closed just after you had met him, and now. The moment you heard his voice and the second he almost touched you, you left.
The former Geo Archon feels his heart clench up. He slowly turns to Xiao. The intensity of Zhongli’s stare sends a shiver down the Yaksha’s spine.
“You… why was the creator here? When did they arrive? How come you didn’t tell anyone?”
“I-I’m not sure… From what I can remember, I was just thinking of them and suddenly, they appeared. They were only here for less than five minutes.”
The creator appeared for Xiao when he thought of them… but disappeared when Zhongli came.
The ground rumbles beneath them and the walls of the inn begins to shake. The two can hear the guests of the inn start to panic.
“Earthquake!” someone shouts.
Zhongli takes a deep breath and suddenly the rumbling stops. Still, the words keep circling in Zhongli’s head.
The creator appeared for Xiao.
Why? he thinks. There’s not a single second since he’s been aware of your descension where Zhongli is not thinking of you. For longer than Xiao had even been alive, Zhongli prided himself on being the most loyal acolyte of yours. With how much of his being that Zhongli devotes solely to you… why would you appear for Xiao and not him?
Are you unsatisfied with him? Was there something he did?
Just tell him, he thinks. Instead of running away and leaving him in the agony of uncertainty, just tell him what he did.
Does he need to prove himself to you?
Zhongli is more than willing to prove himself. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do to repent and prove himself worthy if the reward is your presence. He’s spent thousands of years devoting himself to you and he’ll worship you til the day he dies.
So now that you’ve finally descended, he doesn’t care if he has to chase you around all of Teyvat. Whether it’s stealing his gnosis back from the Tsaritsa and becoming Morax once more or defeating all the archons of the other nations to prove himself worthy, nothing will deter Zhongli from gaining your acceptance.
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Hi, I'm coming from doumadono's discord. Since your requests are open, I decided to drop one - taking care of the mini dragon!Neuvilette and the mini dragon!Zhongli ! Just boys in tiny dragon forms (you can fit them in hands) - sfw
That's such a cute idea! I HOPE YOU WILL LIKE MY TAKE ON THIS AMAZING IDEA!
I love those two dragon grandpas ^^
Wish you all nice reading! @shonen-brainrot
Wonderful dividers and cover made by one and only! @doumadono
Neuvillette
💧 You came to Monsieur Neuvillette to drop off some documents, but instead of encountering your beloved Iudex himself, all you can see is a dragon, looking right at you!
💧 It's small enough to fit into your palms. He is little, blue, slightly round with a long neck, long tail, tiny legs and fins attached to his sides.
💧 Eh? Eh? Eh?! Eeeeeh?! Eh...?! You.exe stopped working.
💧 You quickly realize that it's not one else but Neuvillette himself! Oh dear Archon! What should you do!?
💧 You walk up to the desk and scoop the dragon up into your hands. "Oh dear Archon. Neuvillette! What happened?!”
💧 The dragon looks up at you, blinks and purrs happily, clapping his fins.
💧 At least he recognized you. That's a good thing. For this, he gets a kiss on the head which makes him look even more pleased.
💧 But suddenly, he looks sad, and you can see a drizzle right outside the window.
💧 "Oh! No, no, no! Don't be sad love, I'll take care of you," you assure and kiss his head gently. "How about we go for a walk, huh?”
💧 At this, the dragon looks at you and nods his head.
💧 So that's what you do. You take Neuvillette for a walk, and he looks happy.
💧 You walk out of his office and head down the streets until you reach the center with the big fountain. Suddenly, Neuvillette lets out a soft squeak, making you stop.
💧 He immediately uses his head to point at the fountain, and you understand him, so you walk to it and place him in the water.
💧 Neuvillette seems happy but a little disappointed that the fountain is quite shallow.
💧 That's when you get the idea! You grab the dragon and go back inside.
💧 Neuvillette is watching curiously as you are running around your little flat, collecting snacks and making food before putting it into a basket. You are doing all of this while he is chilling in a sink full of water.
💧 And just like that, the two of you soon leave the bustling city.
💧 You took Neuvillette to his favorite place for a walk, but instead of taking a walk, you find the right place to set a picnic.
💧 While you are enjoying warm tea, the dragon is happily swimming around in the deep waters of Fontain. Of course he isn't swimming too far away to worry you - he knows you are already worried because of the whole ordeal.
💧 When he is done with swimming, he joins you on the blanket where you feed him some soup and some snacks.
💧 Neuvillette enjoys this day. It may be weird, though. He is tiny and in a dragon form, but the amount of care you give him makes him feel loved.
💧 When the evening comes, you collect everything and then pick up Neuvillette. "Time to go home," you say and gently tap him on the head with your finger.
💧 Neuvillette seems sleepy, so before you get home, the little dragon is sleeping, curled into a ball in your palm.
💧 He is too adorable to wake up, so you leave stuff in the kitchen and go to your bedroom.
💧 You lay down with a dragon still in your palm. "I will take care of you as long as I need to. Don't worry."
💧 At this Neuvillette only mutters in his sleep, nuzzling the palm more.
Zhongli
🟡 At first, you are sure that you woke up in an empty bed, but as soon as you remove the duvet, you realize it isn’t fully true.
🟡 Zhongli is still in bed with you but... He is in his dragon form, just on a smaller scale. His body is long, but you can easily fit him in the palm of your hand.
🟡 You sit up and pick the dragon up to look at him - he even has cute horns. When you touch them, he wakes up and looks at you.
🟡 "That's a new look for you, love. Quite interesting," you joked, scratching him under his chin. He purrs at this and nuzzles your hand.
🟡 He doesn't seem scared, so he must be aware of what is happening. At least it means you don't need to freak out.
🟡 Both of you didn't have much planned for today, just some shopping for dinner. You don't want the plans to be ruined, so you get up to get ready.
🟡 You walk through Liyue with a dragon happily hanging out in your hood while you are shopping.
🟡 While you are buying stuff for dinner, your hood suddenly becomes lighter, and all you can see was Zhongli running away somewhere.
🟡 You panic a little and leave your basket with a vendor to follow him quickly.
🟡 He doesn't trot away too far, just to some antiques seller. Zhongli quickly finds a pretty stone he really wants. Dragon basically wraps itself around it.
🟡 "Guess I have no choice,” you sigh and ask about the stone. All you hear in replay is a really high price. You can afford it, but dear Archon, that's a big number!
🟡 Zhongli looks up at you with his big eyes, and you break pretty easily. So you pay and pick the dragon up so he can't find anything more expensive. "So? You like shiny stuff? Here," you said, giving him one Mora.
🟡 He is more than happy with this little gift. Thankfully, he stays good for the rest of the shopping.
🟡 Once back home, Zhongli is able to fully enjoy his gifts. He is thankful for your understanding and love you give him despite what's happening.
🟡 While you cook his favorite meal, he is sitting right next to you and even handing you some ingredients you need to add.
🟡 When the bamboo shoot soup is ready, you witness the cutest thing ever - a cute dragon eating from his bowl eagerly, enjoying the taste.
🟡 In the evening, you take him for the walk, and the two of you visit his favorite cafe. The sight of a dragon, wrapped around a teacup, drinking warm tea and enjoying stories is one of a kind.
🟡 You come back home with Zhongli curled into a ball in your hood, sleeping peacefully. To make it more comfortable for him, you put him onto his pillow and place his treasures next to him.
🟡 After that, you get yourself ready to bed, and soon join him to finally end the crazy day.
#genshin impact#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact x you#zhongli x reader#zhongli x you#neuvillette x reader#neuvillette x you#genshin neuvillette#genshin zhongli#neuvillette#zhongli
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Maybe blurb from crying prompt idk if this would be a hide or hold maybe both? But the reader holds her emotions in during a family thing because she's the oldest sibling and she feels like she has to be strong because that's how her family was raised and then she gets a moment and they tell her to stop being strong and that it's okay to let it out. I'm thinking either Bradley or Jake?
Hold My Hand - J. Seresin x Reader
synopsis: you get a phone call that no child ever wants to get, and as the "rock" of the family, you aren't allowed to break.
warnings: parental death, trauma, parental abandonment, incorrect medical jargon, mental abuse, grief, depression
note: I know this was supposed to only be a blurb, but I started writing and I couldn't stop. These past 16 days have been hell and there was something about writing this that just felt so freeing, like the cloud hanging over me has finally been lifted.
it had felt like a lifetime had passed, but in reality, it had only been 10 days.
10 days since that frightening phone call on that cold January day.
10 days since your mother called you, sound incoherent on the phone but you managed to gather the gist of it.
10 days since you had rushed out of your house, your hair half done, your husband chasing after you like you had lost your mind.
10 days since your father so bravely rushed into a burning building, saving other children and leaving you, your siblings and your mother behind.
You were angry, at first. Angry at the world for allowing this to happen. Angry at your father for playing superman when he was just a regular man. Angry at the other people standing around who didn’t have the same courage to run into the fire instead of standing by and yelling at your father to turn back. Angry that this was going to be the end; that your mother would be a widow at a young age, your youngest sisters wouldn’t have their father to walk them down the aisle, your children wouldn’t ever have another “grandpa day”, that you’d never get another hug and an “i love you” from your father again.
You wanted to cry. You wanted to shut out the world, force the cameras away, force the sorrowful looks from others away, force the heavy weight of your heart onto someone else.
But you couldn't. You had to be the strong one. For your mother. For your siblings. For your own children.
Jake had been watching you like a hawk since you had gotten that phone call. The morning started out like any other morning, with the two of you waking up before the sun was in the sky, making sure you had enough time to do a quick at-home workout and a run. You had been working on packing the kids' lunches when you got that call. He had to pry the keys out of your hands, telling you that your mother didn't need you and your father in the hospital.
Jake had eyed you the whole drive, noticing the redness and the unshed tears in your eyes. The way that you clutched the dainty silver cross around your neck between your fingers. The way that you sniffled every so often, trying to hold back the tears. But the second you stepped into the hospital, seeing the distressing look on your mother's face and the waiting room full of fellow firemen, you rolled your shoulders back and pushed back your own sadness and grief.
Those 10 days had been the best and worst of your life. You hardly left the hospital, unless Jake was physically forcing you to leave. You hardly ate, hardly slept, hardly took care of yourself. Your mind was so worried about everyone else except yourself. For 9 days, you had believed that maybe, just maybe, your father would pull through. But that all came crashing down on day 10, when your father's brain had swelled and his doctor's pronounced him brain dead.
"Y/N," Your mother had spoke, looking over at you as the doctor stood in front of your family. Jake shifted in his seat, putting his hand on your thigh, "You need to do it."
"What?"
"No," You and Jake spoke at the same time.
Your mother shook her head, "I can't be the one. . .," Tears clogged her throat, "I can't be the one who takes him-"
Jake scoffed, sitting up straight in his chair, his grip tightening on your thigh, "And you want your daughter to-"
"Jake," You sighed. There was no use in fighting. After all, you were the eldest. You knew eventually you would be the one who gets stuck making the medical choices for your parents. You just assumed you'd have more time to prepare. You rolled your shoulders back and looked at the doctor, "What do I need to sign?"
"It was such a lovely service," Your aunt Marjorie said, patting Jake's hand as he spoke to him. It was true, you had done a fantastic job planning a funeral for your father, all by yourself. Jake had helped you the best that he could, going with you to pick out a casket and a grave plot and music and flowers, "That Y/N was always Lee's favorite."
"I know," Jake gave Aunt Marjorie his best gentleman smile, the one that made his dimple pop out, "She's a special girl."
"Oh and how brave she was standing in front of everyone and speaking?" Aunt Marjorie placed her hand on her heart. Jake nodded his head, wishing that he could be anywhere else than in a conversation with Aunt Marjorie, "And that Miranda," Aunt Marjorie scoffed, looking over at where your mother sat stoic on the couch, "Looks like she's going to be the next to go."
Jake clenched his jaw, pulling his eyes away from your mother. He had his own thoughts and feelings about her, ones that he had shared with you one night during a heated fight.
"She has abandoned you!" Jake yelled, as you angrily pulled the blankets back on the bed. You were exhausted and just wanted to sleep in your bed for one night. You had managed to get your mother to stay with your father for the night, which was like pulling teeth, "You need her to be the parent and she's not."
"She is grieving too, Jake," You sighed.
"And you're not!?"
"I am," You ran a hand down your face, "I just handle it differently. I've always been the strong rock. The one who doesn't cry. The one who holds others when they cry," You sat down on the bed, your body heavy with exhaustion.
"And I know that, baby," Jake rounded the bed, and sat down beside you. He grabbed your hand, holding it in his own, "You are strong. You are incredibly fucking strong. . . but you shouldn't have to be the strong one right now. You shouldn't be the one pulling all nighters by your dad's side. You shouldn't be the one making medical decisions on your father's behalf. Even though you are an adult. . . Y/N, baby, you're still his child. Your mother should-"
"I don't want to have this conversation anymore," You pulled your hand away from Jake, "My mom isn't well, and she needs me to help her-"
"Bullshit," Jake scoffed, "She is abandoning you and you know it."
You clenched your jaw, holding back the anger radiating in your body. Jake held a tiny bit of hope that maybe, just maybe you'd lash out at him. That you'd show some type of emotion after being a near zombie these past 8 days. But instead, you stood up quietly and left the room, choosing to go sleep in your son's room instead.
Jake had drown out Aunt Marjorie's talking, his eyes landing on you across the room. You had opened up your home to your family, your father's fire crew, Jake's squad and friends for a meal and drinks following the funeral. You had done a great job at not falling apart during the service or the burial, but Jake could tell that the rope was starting to fray. And right now, it was about to snap as you were talking animatedly with your sister across the room in a small alcove.
"Hey, Aunt Marjorie," Jake turned back to look at the 80 year old woman, "It was lovely catching up with you, but I need to go help Y/N with something. We should do coffee some time."
"Oh yes, that'd be-"
"Great, see you later," Jake quickly made his way over to you, not bothering to hear the rest of Aunt Marjorie's response.
The last thing you wanted to do in a houseful of guests from your father's funeral, was get into an argument with your sister, but here you were. Claire was the baby of the family, the one who got away with the most. Your relationship with Claire was rocky, as the line between sister and mother-figure had gotten crossed while you were growing up. You wanted what was best for Claire, and sometimes that required extra tough love and parenting.
"You are high!" You exclaimed.
"I am not," Claire's voice was slightly slurred. Jake's nose scrunched up as he walked into the room, smelling the distinct scent of marijuana.
"My whole damn shed smells like marijuana, Claire," You crossed your arms over your chest, "This isn't like you. What is going on? Talk to me."
"Oh god," Claire rolled her eyes, "Here she goes again. Acting like my mother!"
"Well!" You scoffed, throwing your arms in the air. Jake stood behind you, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. In the past couple days, you had shrugged off any sort of comfort that Jake offered you, but now, you welcomed it, "You smoked a joint before you walked into dad's funeral! Smoked another one in my shed, where your niece and nephew play. And don't even get me started on how you reeked like vod-"
"Y/N," Your mother's voice filled the air, making all three of you look towards her, "Let's not do this now."
"No," You shook your head, "Let's do this now. Your daughter is high. She smoked up in my garage and then walked into my house smelling like a dispensary."
Your mom looked over at your sister and then back at you. You felt a pang in your chest as you watched her silently side with your sister. The familiar burning sensation of tears prickled at your eyes and nose.
"She's grieving," Your mother simply answered.
You scoffed, "And who isn't?"
"Y/N,"
"Forget it," You shook your head, "It's nothing, it's fine. It's always fucking fine."
For the rest of the afternoon, you made yourself busy, staying far away from your mother and sister. Jake remained within arms reach of you, his presence comforting and not overbearing. You had finally sat down, and managed to get something in your stomach. It must've been evident on your face, but the guests had only said a couple words to you before going on their way. It took nearly four hours, but all the guests had left, filling your house with a silence you hadn't heard in nearly 10 days.
Jake had taken the burden of cleaning everything up, while you sat on the back porch, watching the sunset with a glass of wine in your hand. The cool San Diego winter breeze felt nice against your heated skin.
"The house is finally, back to normal," Jake announced as he walked out onto the back porch. Natasha had gratefully volunteered to take your children for the night, so you and Jake could decompress.
"Thank you, daddy," You smiled sweetly at him, as he sat down next to you on the porch swing.
"Of course, baby," He said, and held out a white gift box, "Someone left this for you."
You furrowed your eyebrows, taking the box from him and lifting the lid. Your breath caught in your throat as you lifted the small, gold pocket watch from the box.
"Y/N," Jake said softly.
You looked up at him with tears in your eyes, "I always wanted this," You ran your hand over the engraved hummingbird on the gold casing, "It was from my grandfather's jewelry store and it quit working. My dad said he was going to get it fixed and give it to me as a wedding gift, but he lost it. . . I-I don't know-"
"Well, does it work?" Jake asked.
You swallowed, opening the face of the watch open. To your surprise, it did work. The second hand ticked around in perfect time as the watch seemed to already be set to the correct time. The beautiful watch had a colorful humming bird painted onto the face in the middle of the black Roman numeral numbers, and gold watch hands.
"It's perf- oh, c'mon," You cursed, as the watch stopped ticking. You tapped the glass face a couple of times, trying to maybe, just maybe get it up and ticking, "C'mon! You just. . . worked! C'mon!"
"Baby," Jake spoke, gently placing his hand on your wrist.
"No! It has to work! It has to!"
"Baby, it's okay," Jake assured you, "It's o-"
"Nothing is okay!" You snapped, looking up at him as the tears had finally escaped your eyes, "Nothing about any of this is okay!" You pushed yourself up from the porch swing, rushing to the edge of the patio and throwing the watching across the yard with a scream. Jake closed his eyes as loud sobs escaped from your lugs, as the grief had finally seemed to rush to you.
He stood up from the porch swing and enveloped you in his arms. You sagged against him, feeling his arms tighten around you to be able to hold you up. Jake hushed you, placing a hand on the back of your head, and his chin on the top.
"Let it out, baby," Jake encouraged you, running a hand over your hair, "Let it all out, baby."
You weren't sure how long you stood there in Jake's arms and cried, but he eventually picked you up, after feeling your legs grow weak. He carried you through the house, to your shared bedroom, sitting you down gently on the bed. You didn't even need to tell him what to do as he moved through the bedroom with familiarity, grabbing you nightgown, taking you out of your dress, washing the make-up from your face and applying your moisturizer.
"What do you need from me, baby?" Jake asked, as he kneeled in front of you, sliding your socks on your feet.
"I don't know," Your voice was raspy as you looked at him confused, "I've never. . . I've never felt-"
"I know," Jake nodded his head, "I know you haven't, and it can be scary the first time you just. . . lose it all." Jake could remember the first time he had ever broken down like you had. It was terrifying as he cried and destroyed the things around him. It felt like it was never going to end as one thing after another had set him off, until he was on the ground in the fetal position, withering, "But it will all be okay. I'm here to help you. Let me help you."
You nodded your head, tears springing to your eyes again. Jake cooed, and pulled you into his arms again as the tears fell down your cheeks.
taglist: @desert-fern @mygyn @cherrycola27 @sio-ina-bottle @seitmai @topgun-imagines @bradleybeachbabe @na-ta-sh-aa @startrekfangirl2233 @xoxabs88xox @atarmychick007 @lunamoonbby @sophiaslastbraincell @bradswolfe @fandom-princess-forevermore @thedroneranger @angelbabyange @dempy @lovelywiseprincess @krismdavis @eternallyvenus @dakotakazansky @pono-pura-vida @starberryhorse @daggersquadphantom @gspenc @poppyalice2001 @els-marvelvsp @nyx2021 @frazie99 @t0kyoreveng3rs @kmc1989 @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @malindacath @badasspizzalover @justenoughmadnesss @sagittarius-flowerchild @hardballoonlove @harrysgothicbitch @hookslove1592 @yujibubs @noonenuts @marvellouscroissant
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#top gun#top gun fan fic#top gun fan fiction#top gun imagine#top gun maverick#top gun maverick fan fic#top gun maverick fan fiction#Jake seresin#Jake seresin fan fic#Jake seresin fan fiction#Jake seresin imagine#Jake seresin x reader#Jake seresin x you#Jake hangman seresin#hangman seresin#hangman#hangman fan fic#hangman fan fiction#hangman imagine#hangman x you#hangman x reader#hangman x y/n#Jake seresin x y/n
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Lewis fic. Its his birthday y/n and him have an age gap. Not a crazy one but she teases him about his age.
My old man
Summary: It's Lewis's birthday, and you never fail to make him feel old on his special day.
Reader x Lewis Hamilton
Mention of age gap (10 years)
Note: First of all, I want to thank all of you for showing your love for my first-ever story on here. It means a lot!!! Also, I'm trying my best to write new stories based on your requests, but I'm currently in my exam period, so things might go slower. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this short fic!
It's currently 4 o'clock in the morning and Lewis is sound asleep next to me in bed. Why am I up so early already? Well it's my favourite human's birthday today and I want to make this day special for him. Knowing that Lewis always wakes up at around 6 o'clock for his early morning workouts made me get up early to decorate the house and get his favourites for his birthday.
I bought all the decorations last night and did a pretty good job at hiding it from Lewis. Starting by blowing up all the balloons and hanging them around the place followed by the rest of the decoration. If there is one thing that Lewis doesn't like, it's seeing his age on display. So that's exaclty what I did. I bought the numbers 39 in a big form and hung them on the most noticable place in the house to tease him even more.
After I was done with decorating the place I went out and went to the store to buy the last few things that were needed, thank God 24/7 hour stores are a thing otherwise I would've been fucked. While strolling along the aisles I can't help but find the perfect gift for Lewis. It was a dog shirt with the words 'Grandpa's favourite boy' displayed on it, promising myself to get Roscoe to wear it later. After getting the last things I went back home knowing that it was almost time for Lewis to wake up.
Putting everything on the counter i start to prepare his birthday breakfast with all his favourites in it. I still had plenty of time since I already wrapped his gifts yesterday, so in the meantime while I was making his breakfast I quickly took the dog shirt out for Roscoe to wear. He looked so adorable but I couldn't help but laugh at the shirt. I don't think Lewis would even be surprised since I've been teasing him about his age non stop.
While putting the last things on the table I felt two strong hands wrap around my waist. "Babe you went all out this year" Lewis exclaimed. "Well it's my favourite old man's birthday I had to make it special." I added. Lewis groans "Love are you seriously still making fun of me?" I gasped but it was quickly followed by my laugh. "I would never!" "I just wanted to celebrate you getting closer to the forties" Lewis groans again. "Babe seriously stop that I'm still in my thirties and that's what matters and also you're just 10 years younger then me your time will come as well" "Jeez Lewis you're making it sound as if I'm about to die or something but for now I'm happily enjoying my twenties" I say pecking his lips and leading him to the breakfast table.
"Babe there was no need to put those numbers up there" Lewis exclaimes. "Well you're an old man now I had to remind you before you forget" I say with a laugh. Lewis groans even more. "You're never letting it go are you?" "Ofcourse not old man!". "But babe on a serious note you didn't have to do all this" He said coming over to me and kissing me passionately. "But i wanted to since you deserve the world Lew" I tell him with a peck to his lips. "Thanks beautifull I love you!" He adds "And I love you too My old man. Soon the kiss turned into a makeout session when Lewis breaks the kiss and adds "Well after all this I would love for this birthday gift to be taken to the bedroom" Smirking I jump on to him with both my legs secured around his waist. But before we could go any further Roscoe pops up and starts barking for our attention. Lewis puts me down and both of our attention is on Roscoe. "Hey old guy, did you want to wish your dad a happy birthday as well?" Lewis says while scratching behind Roscoe's ears. But then Lewis freezes noticing the shirt I put on Roscoe earlier. He turns to me, but I was already out of sight, running for my life. "Y/N ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?"
The end.
#lewis hamilton x reader#lewis hamilton imagines#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#lewis hamilton x you#lewis hamilton fanfic#lewis hamilton imagine
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I imagine eddie would have a little family time kid friendly valentines with the reader on one day and an adults only, ship the kids off somewhere valentines another day
What gifts or things do you think would happen on that day
Id imagine reader would wake up eddie by dressing the kids up as cherubs and attacking him with rubber sucker arrows to shoot at him
🦊
Family friendly Valentine’s Day is in the morning, After Hours (bow chicka bow wow) Valentine’s Day is from the evening and all through the night 😏 while the kids are sleeping over with grandpa Wayne and Maude.
I like the way you think and that’s very cute, reader buying the kids pairs of wings to wear and those annoying ass toy Cupid bow and arrows and then releases them into the bedroom to assault Eddie. It makes for a really good home movie and pictures for the family album.
Eddie OF COURSE was prepared and had to hide all of the gifts he got in the van because not a single person in the house, including reader, can be trusted not to go snooping. Eddie gets the girls and Wayne (his little Ferdinand 🥺) flowers, called into a floral shop weeks in advance to place the order and while reader absolutely loves her roses, seeing penny and wayne’s reaction to getting them is like the best thing in the world. They get all shy and happy about having received something so special, and their bouqets are significantly smaller than reader’s but it doesn’t matter; Wayne’s got his nose in his daisies, sniffing away for the rest of the day, and Penny lets reader help make hers into a flower crown, so she can wear it the entire day. They also gorge themselves on chocolate and candy, which reader isn’t happy about but Eddie couldn’t not buy some for them! Besides, the inevitable sugar high will be big Wayne’s problem.
Penny and Wayne will have made homemade Valentine’s cards that say something along the lines of “congraz” (Wayne, still says ‘happy birthday’ for most holiday greetings and gets confused with them all so it’s a congratulations from him this time). And Penny’s are just amusing (‘Happy Valentine’s Day, daddy! I gots no monies so this is what you get, i love you ps get me flowers and member i dont like white choclet’ and ‘Happy Valentine’s Day, mommy! You are my valentine now, not daddys but you can kiss daddy on the lips, but i saw hims eat some onions one time and they are stinky good luck”)
BUT, Eddie has plans for him and Reader, so the kids are pawned off to Wayne and Maude, reader is whisked away to a romantic dinner and then brought home for some very much needed alone time. They share a couple of joints on the porch, he gives her a foot massage because her feet ache a little from the heels she wore to dinner, they talk about their life; where they are in it, what they thought they’d be doing by then and how happy they are regardless, then they move things into the bedroom. Put those cuffs, Eddie now has to hide, to good use. Spend the rest of the night fucking like rabbits well into early morning, nearly depleting the box of condoms in the night stand. In between rounds, Eddie and reader finish off the leftovers from their dinner in bed when the munchies kick in, sharing a bottle of water, lounging around naked, talking about everything under the sun—weed induced peculiar thoughts, of course—and enjoying each other’s company. It’s reminiscent of the early days of their relationship, before the jobs, before the kids, before any of the responsibilities, when they were just teenagers.
Come morning light, you’ll have to go get your kids and slip back into the roles of mom and dad, which the two of you are more than happy to do, but it’s also nice to play a little pretend for the night.
Happy belated Valentine’s Day! 🩷
(P.s. part of the Pennyverse for any new readers ♡)
#$ replies#pennyverse#pennyverse asks#dad!eddie munson#dad!eddie munson x reader#dad!eddie munson x mom!reader#Eddie munson x reader#Eddie munson fluff#black!reader
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bucktommy headcanons:
Buck may be an awesome cook, but he's terrible at cakes and fancy/pretty desserts. Tommy is awesome at fancy desserts, and refers to his talent for decorating cakes as "his gayest trait" (aside from dating men.)
Buck is used to being the Big Spoon in relationships, but it turns out when the person he's dating actually is bigger than him, he loves being the Little Spoon.
Tommy's internal alarm clock almost always wakes him up at least an hour before Buck, so when they have overlapping days off he tiptoes to the kitchen and makes cinnamon rolls or breakfast muffins or something as quietly as possible. The first time Buck wakes up to the smell of fresh cinnamon rolls he loses his damn mind.
several more under the cut
They love going to couples trivia nights at bars where they aren't regulars and crushing the other couples. On the few occasions they don't make it to the top three Buck cheers himself up by making dinner the next night. Losing doesn't upset Tommy nearly as much, but he still bakes cheer-up cupcakes for Buck.
Buck forgets where he put the keys like five seconds after he sets them down somewhere. Even when he picks a dedicated spot (hook next to the door, small bowl on the counter, bedside table) it only works for a few weeks and then he's right back to tossing wherever. Tommy spends the first year of their relationship nagging him about it before finally giving up.
One day while Buck is at work Tommy has a fit of inspiration and decides to reorganize the whole kitchen in a way that makes more sense. Buck comes home already hangry and tired, and he's super pissed about not being consulted beforehand. It's their first really big 'spirals-out-of-control-eventually-veers-off-topic-what-were-we-originally-fighting-about' fight.
They agree on two pets. Dogs. A week after they adopt the puppies Buck finds a pair of kittens abandoned on the side of the road and falls in love. So now they have two dogs and two kittens.
Years ago an army buddy of Tommy's introduced him to opera and he shocked himself by falling in love with it, so he drags Buck kicking and screaming to see a live performance of The Marriage of Figaro (a comedy opera by Mozart) and by the end of the first act Buck is hooked. Tickets aren't cheap but they try to go see least one opera per year.
The only truly loving family influence Tommy had as a child was his great grandfather. Tommy was only twelve when he died, but he swore he'd name his kids after him someday. He wasn't thinking clearly through the grief. His grandfather's name was Rufus Faggert Gord the third. But Tommy adored grandpa Rufus so much he can't stand to break the promise, so he and Buck agree that two of their future childrens' middle names will be Rufus or Gord (faggert is an automatic no for oh so many reasons)
Their three favorite couple activities are the aforementioned trivia nights, playing in the kitchen, and fishing somewhere quiet away from the city.
#bucktommy#tevan#evan “buck” buckley#tommy kinard#headcanons#just for fun#this is what happens when I have too much free time
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Stardew Rancher AU - Intro cutscene
Here's my first piece for the Stardew AU challenge.
If you want to take part too, use the #traffic stardew au tag (You can also use the banner I made). On my blog, I will be using #stardew ranchers au as well.
The writing is under the cut.
>> Next Part
I hate this life.
Jimmy doesn’t remember a day in the last year he has not thought this. He’s staring at a computer screen, as he has been for the last seven hours, when it hits him. He hates this life. In fact, it could barely be qualified as a life.
He misses nature. Running around in the grass, playing, talking to people… He turns his head around to look at the window, but there isn’t even any on the office walls. He looks around him and only sees rows and rows of cubicles with other lifeless people slaving all day. The clicking of keyboards and mouths, the buzzing of the neon lights, it’s all too much.
I can’t stand it anymore, he thinks to himself. I need a way out.
Suddenly, he remembers a conversation he had with his grandpa, when he was young, about the burden of modern life. He hadn’t really realised what it had meant before today. Jimmy, like his parents, had dismissed it as the stubbornness of an old man who was made to live in the countryside. But it must have stayed on the back of his mind, because he kept the letter.
In fact…
He opens the drawer of his desk and there it is. A fancy old letter with a fancy purple seal.
(He’s definitely not going to think about the fact that he kept it in his drawer at work and the possible implication of that. Nope.)
With shaky hands, he breaks the seal and opens it. The swoosh of the paper unfolding is the loudest sound he’s ever heard in his life.
The letter says:
Dear Jimmy,
If you’re reading this, you must be in dire need of a change.
The same thing happened to me, long ago. I’d lost sight of what mattered most in life… real connections with other people and nature. So I dropped everything and moved to the place I truly belong.
I’ve enclosed the deed to that place… my pride and joy: The Ranch. It’s located in Stardew Valley, on the southern coast. It’s the perfect place to start your new life.
This was my most precious gift of all, and now it’s yours. I know you’ll honour the family name, my boy. Good luck.
Love, Grandpa.
PS: If the Sherrif is still alive say hi to the old guy for me, will ya?
He puts the letter down and looks up at the ceiling for a second.
In all the emptiness he feels, it’s like he’s just grown wing.
🌿 loading🌿
The bus startles to a stop and Jimmy wakes up.
“Pelican Town!” The driver screams.
Jimmy looks around. There’s no else on anymore. He quickly grabs his travel bag and gets out. He says his thanks to the bus driver who just hums unhappily. Guess he really didn’t want to go that far out for just one person.
On the side of the road is just a small clearing, with broken fences and dirt path. Someone is waiting for him, though. A man with cyan blue hair and an easygoing smile.
“Hello, you must be Jimmy,” he sayswith a cheerful voice. “I’m Scott, the local florist. Mayor Grian sent me here to fetch you and show you the way to your new home. He’s there right now, tidying things up for your arrival.”
It takes a second for Jimmy to find his words. The reality of what he’s done hitting him finally. He quit his job. He moved out of his appartment. He sold his things and bought a ticket for this small town in the middle of nowhere to become a farmer.
“Nice to meet you, Scott,” he says after swallowing. “I…”
Gosh, he cannot screw this up. This isn’t like in the city. The people he meets are going to be the community he’s going to live with. He wants to make a good impression.
Scott smiles, tilting his head to the side. He looks Jimmy up and down with mischief in his eyes in a way that makes Jimmy blush a little. He must be tired.
“The farm’s right over here, if you’ll follow me.”
Jimmy nods and follows him on the dirt path until they reach an area with a… house. Supposedly.
“This is the Ranch,” Scott announces, waving his arm around to show the land that stretches before them..
The Ranch is an old building made out of wood. It looks like it’s been built in the last century. The farmland around, which was included in Scott’s gesture, is littered with some kind of forest. There are different types of trees, dead wood on the ground, bushes, and even some rocks! Is this really the farm his grandfather loved ?
“What’s the matter?” Scott asks in a light voice. He’s got his arms crossed in front of him and an air of challenge about him. “Sure, it’s a bit overgrown, but there’s some good soil underneath that mess! With a little dedication, you’ll have it cleaned up in no time.”
He turns back towards the house itself. Jimmy notes that there’s plenty of firewood on the side of the house. Someone must have stacked it for him. That thought settles in his chest, fluttering like a bird. He won’t sleep in the cold tonight, and that’s thanks to strangers.
“... And here we are, your new home,” Scott says.
Just like his words summoned him, a man opens the door and gets down the few steps of his porch to stop in front of them. He pulls the sleeves of his red sweater back to his writs and offers his hand to Jimmy.
“Ah, the new farmer! Welcome, I’m Grian, the Mayor of Pelican Town.”
Jimmy shakes his hand and introduces himself. Grian nods, seemingly satisfied.
“You know, everyone’s been asking about you. It’s not every day that someone new moves in. It’s quite a big deal.” He turns to look back at the house. “So… you’re moving into your grandfather’s old cottage. It’s a good house… very ‘rustic’.”
“Rustic?” Scott chimes in. “That’s one way to put it… ‘Crusty’ might be a little more apt, though.”
“Rude,” Grian says under his breath, his eyebrows frowning. “Don’t listen to him, Jimmy. He’s just trying to make you dissatisfied so that you buy one of Gem’s house upgrades.”
“Gem?” Jimmy asks.
“She’s the local carpenter. She lives north of the valley, near the mountain.”
Gem, the local carpenter. Jimmy tries to mentally catalogue. She makes house upgrades. He turns his eyes towards Scott. He doesn’t remember if he said what he was doing.
“Anyway… You must be tired from the long journey,” Grian says, looking back at the house. “You should get some rest. Tomorrow you ought to explore the town a bit and introduce yourself. The townspeople would appreciate that.”
He turns to leave and sees the box placed next to the mailbox.
“Oh, I almost forgot. If you have anything to sell, just place it in the box here. I’ll come by during the night to collect it. Well… Good luck!”
They are gone before Jimmy can really say anything else. But it might be for the better, because he’s exhausted.
“I’m here,” he says to no one. Maybe to himself. Or maybe to his grandfather.
Going into the house is a blurr. He barely have time to register the small table with one chair, the fireplace that was lit up for him and the bed. He just melts into the mattress and passes out.
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WIP Wednesday
An old fic that I just found incomplete that I'm revisiting to whip into shape!
He moved through to his second youngest, picking up the medicine along the way. Gordon was awake, watching his father miserably. Jeff knelt down beside him, brushing his hair back and smiling softly at the little boy. It was unnerving seeing his hyperactive four-year-old this subdued.
“Hey, buddy,” he said quietly.
“I need to go to the hospital,” Gordon said seriously. Jeff let the back of his hand rest against Gordon’s forehead before sighing and starting to measure out the medicine.
“Do you?” He asked, “like Grandpa?”
Gordon nodded. “Then I can stay with Gramps,” he said, “and look after him.”
Jeff smiled. His father had had a recent knee replacement and when they had taken the boys into visit him, Gordon had been most put-out their grandfather wasn’t leaving with them.
“But he’s at home with Grandma now,” Jeff told him, “she’s looking after him.”
“Oh.” Gordon frowned, but his eyes were glazed, “then I don’t need to go to hospital.”
“No? You reckon Mommy and Daddy will do a good enough job?”
Gordon thought about it and nodded, for once accepting the foul-tasting medicine with only a grimace. Jeff tucked him back in.
“Get some more sleep, kiddo,” he said, “you’ll feel better when you wake up.”
He watched for a long moment as Gordon did as he was told, reminding himself that the doctor had said not to worry. Then a cry from the adjacent room drew his attention and he stood up. One child was sorted: four to go.
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(please like if you read. and it would mean a lot to me if you read.)
————————
My body and my mind have been sick lately
So my sleep schedule has been fucked.
3am is a normal time to wake.
And just before the sun rises,
I find a couple of dollars
And I put some gas in my tank and I buy a cheap iced coffee,
And I drive and I watch the sun come up
While I listen to music that makes my friends sad.
And as I’m standing at the pump and overdrawing my bank account to put a few dollars of gas in my car,
And my speakers are playing a song about wanting to kill my father with a baseball bat,
I see a man around my age walking towards the gas station,
From out of the shadows of the distant sidewalk
Into the harsh light.
And he’s wearing an oversized sweatshirt and baggy sweatpants and he’s walking alone through the dark to a gas station at 5 in the morning to buy a lighter
And some part of me registers that this is a man who others may feel nervous about him approaching them through the darkness.
But in him I see myself.
And I miss being a meth addict.
And I miss his world. And I miss dragging myself, dirty and beaten, to the nearest gas station at 5 in the morning with loose change in my pocket to buy myself a lighter so that I can smoke my meth pipe.
And I get back in my car that’s still playing a song about wanting to kill my father with a baseball bat.
And I try to think about what it is I’m missing.
And I think of rooms of faces,
Painful, terrible, beautiful faces,
Where every person there understands exactly what it’s like to be at a gas station at 5 in the morning listening to a song about wanting to kill your father with a baseball bat.
And you don’t have to think about it.
You don’t have to talk about it.
They just hand you a pipe
And a lighter
And the pain goes away.
And I drive to pick up my iced coffee
And I don’t feel as bad about the iced coffee as I thought I would.
It’s only two dollars, after all.
And it’s easy to find two dollars, even when you have nothing else.
You can find two dollars in a lot of places.
In your couch.
In old jacket pockets.
In the kindness of a stranger.
And I’ve been hoarding loose change for years.
I keep it in my grandpa’s old ammunition box from the war.
The box where I keep one of the shells from the guns they fired at his and grandma’s funeral.
The box where I keep a dirty rusty nail that someone gave me in rehab.
Someone who didn’t make it, but I did.
The box where I keep the smooth pretty blue stone that the other patients passed around on my last day, that they held close to their hearts as they wished me strength on my journey. As they told me that I was strong and that I was going to make it.
And it’s the box where I keep my loose change
For iced coffee
And meth lighters.
It’s easy to find two dollars.
Your mom will give you two dollars
If you tell her it’s for iced coffee
And not meth lighters.
Your mom will give you two dollars
If you promise it’s not to kill yourself.
And in the drive thru the girl asks me to please wait a moment, she has to refill the coffee.
And I tell her it’s okay, really, no rush.
And she thanks me
And tells me she appreciates me.
And I think about all the jobs I’ve had
Where I had to ask a customer to please wait a moment
So I could do something important
Like refill the coffee
Or use heroin in the bathroom.
And when she hands me my iced coffee I say thank you
And I tell her “I appreciate you too”.
And I see her face fall, briefly,
As she is stunned by my words
Taken aback by this brief, fleeting moment of genuine kindness and connection.
And just as quickly she smiles at me
Truly smiles
And says thank you.
And I hurry and drive away, so she can deal with the rest of the cars in line
Many of which are running late for work
And who will blame her for it.
And I take my drive.
And I watch the sun rise.
And I listen to music that makes my friends sad.
And when I come home
I wash down my antidepressants with what’s left of my iced coffee
And I think about how I don’t miss being a meth addict.
I am a meth addict
Without his pipe.
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well hello
i'm going to be doing a public-facing journal just to see if there's any interest in conversation about the things i come across weekly and also i guess to keep myself consistent and thoughtful about what i write about.
8/22/2024
i had work today; i slept extremely early (at like 9pm) so i could wake up extremely early (i awoke before my alarm at like 4:45am?). despite being extremely groggy, it was really nice to be up so early. i got to bike down lake shore bike trail before the sun rose.
right before i arrived at the bike trail, coming from the west side, i saw the dark blue clouds cast by the pink rising sun, and they looked like massive, massive mountains. i kept wanting to take photos of the lake with the new light coming over it, but i was gonna be late to my job if i stopped. :(
at work, one of my coworkers learned that his grandpa was going to be put in hospice care. i wanted to ask how he was, and really listen, but i knew that if i did dig into it, it was going to be quickly interrupted by customers, or management, etc. etc. it reminded me of this book IN (it's a comic, actually) and how it can feel scary to reach further to ask how someone is really doing. it wasn't exactly the same, but the concept was there. i did ask if he was doing alright though and he was. i stayed back so he could leave a little earlier.
i've been dealing with some personal turmoils so i decided to jump into the lake (this is often my solution to feeling intense emotions, for some reason). as i biked up to the lake and climbed down to the edge, i saw someone tear their shirt off and leap into the thrashing waves. i set my stuff down and looked over again. a boy was laying on his back, surrounded by his family. he wasn't moving. i squinted and kept watching. no one looked overly concerned, but it was clear that the boy was not doing too hot. as it turns out, that boy had been near drowning, and the person who leapt into the water had done so to pull him out and save him. the hero was thanked by the family and he biked away past me. i heard one of the boy's family members say "i thought you were a goner, bro!" i think so much of how close people are to true danger every day, and this was a big reminder of that.
after having been privy to such a situation, i did think for a moment if it was appropriate for me to jump into the water that was in fact quite intense. but i know myself, so i tore off my clothes and jumped in very quickly. the water was deep and wavy and brightly teal blue. i had little choice but to let it drag me around for a moment. i climbed up on the wall ladder, looked around for a moment, and fell backwards again into an incoming wave. i let it soak my hair (i love how the lake leaves my hair) and then let another wave crash into me before finally scrambling up to the concrete again. i ate some turkey, then took my leave as a herd of geese came honking close to me.
i dragged my bike up to the grassy area and laid out in my underwear in the sun. the sounds of the wind and cicadas was so beautiful. after maybe 15 minutes, i climbed a nearby tree, made friends with it, and then put on my shorts and sweater, and biked home.
i bought new glasses just now since they mailed me a coupon. they're cute frames, two pairs! my old ones are like 4 years old now...
I've been feeling really useless lately, but not in a self-deprecating way (not too self-deprecating, though, i think?). i just have really been trying to figure out what i'm up to these days and while the answer is "so much", it's also just as much "so little". which is very frustrating.
I'm going to look into setting up an online shop in a moment i think. i tabled at chicago fan expo the other day and i had quite a few people interested in my work, which really surprised me. i'm not sure how to focus my perspective and """talent""" into art that makes me feel like i'm really doing anything worth adding to the world, but if i can manage to do that, it would be cool.
maybe it can also be a side thing.
anyway. now i'm rambling.
i'm going to keep trying to ground myself today with breathing. it's something i picked up from thich nhat han and also my therapist (lmao). i used to hate the idea of "breathing" doing "anything" for me, but something really changed in the past month or so, and it totally makes sense now.
i hope everyone's having a nice day and so on and so forth :)
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aita for offering to stay at a house that isn't mine?
weird title but bear with me. this happened a while ago. (most everyone involved is in their 20s except Grandpa who is idk maybe 70s?)
I, my Sibling, and their Partner went to a multi day event. we drove down together and stayed on site. my Boyfriend and his Brother were visiting their Grandpa who lives 2 hours from the event. since the last day of the event ended kinda late the plan was: we would stay that night at my aunt's apartment in the same city as event and then the next day Sibling would drop me off with Boyfriend and I would drive back home with Boyfriend.
we do the event. it's fun and all that and as expected the last day closes out around 9 or so at night. we get to my aunt's apartment closer to 10pm. staying there falls through for reasons. we need a hotel for the night but that's a lot of money so none of us particularly want to do that. but since we have to at least hotels are cheaper farther from the city. so we drive ~1 hour to the cheaper hotels. we stop at a fast food place to regroup and figure out which hotel is cheapest. it's around midnight.
I realize it's just another hour or so to my Boyfriend's Grandpa's place. Sibling and Partner know Boyfriend and they get along. they have also met Brother in passing. however they've never met Grandpa let alone been to his house. I float the idea to them: I'll first check with Boyfriend if it's cool but I'll drive us to Grandpa's house since that's where we were going tomorrow morning anyway and we can sleep there tonight. Sibling and Partner are cool with it if Boyfriend/Grandpa are cool with it.
I call Boyfriend and explain. he says as long as I'm up for driving this late and we're all cool sleeping on the floor it's fine. we arrive around 2 in the morning. everyone is understandably asleep but I call Boyfriend and he lets us in. there are air mattresses set up and we're all extremely exhausted so we all promptly pass out.
Sibling and Partner wake up before I do. they didn't really bring anything in and most of their stuff is already in their car so they pack up quick. I'm still waking up when Brother says to me something like "get them out of this house now." Sibling and Partner are just about ready to go as far as I can tell. they say thank you to Boyfriend and Grandpa then they leave.
I explain the situation to Grandpa then apologize and thank him for letting us stay the night. I don't know Grandpa that well but he doesn't seem upset that we crashed at his house. he's polite though so it's hard to tell. Brother is irritated. he's making snippy comments at me about being intrusive and putting a burden on Grandpa. Boyfriend doesn't say much. I ask Boyfriend if I was out of line and he shrugs it off and basically says it is what it is.
when I asked Sibling later if anything happened while we were at Grandpa's house they said no. they basically woke up, had a brief conversation with Grandpa and Boyfriend, then they left. they felt a little weird since they were crashing and dashing but neither Grandpa nor Boyfriend seemed to mind.
I know it's not okay to invite random extra people to sleep in someone else's home. and I know we had other options. and it was maybe manipulative for me to call Boyfriend so late at night. it turned out okay in the end but that's no excuse. so yeah: am i the asshole for offering in the first place?
What are these acronyms?
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could not tell you where this came from. i was simply eating my rushed lunch and was gripped with the idea. bone apple tea have a snip with absolutely zero context ily <3
“Hey man, you alright?”
Mac shivers when he looks up, pushing wet bangs out of his eyes. Most of the blood is on the back of his hands, but Mac imagines that it still isn’t a great look.
“Oh. Wait, Angus, right?”
“Mac,” he replies, coughing as soon as he rasps out the word. “I go by Mac, now.”
“Oh, cool. I’m-”
“Bozer.” Nevermind the fact that they happened to be in the same grade in a town with barely 5,000 people—Mac’s pretty sure that everyone’s heard of Bozer.
He gives a sheepish smile, as if he could read Mac’s mind. “You okay? Stupid question. Can I like… call someone for you?”
That’s a big part of Mac’s problem. Not that Bozer would know. “No,” Mac shakes his head, swallowing anything else. “I’m okay.”
“Do you like… want a ride or something?”
This time, Mac shakes his head with more fervor. “I uh, I appreciate your concern. But I’m good. Really.”
Bozer stares at him for long enough that standing out in the rain has probably gone from annoying to uncomfortable. “Look, for my own peace of mind, could I at least do something? I don’t feel great about leaving you here. Seriously. No ulterior motives.”
It’s almost funny how much it seems that Bozer hasn’t changed one bit in the five years since Mac’s seen him. Despite the fame, he’s still the same person who would wait long after school with someone when they missed their bus, or share crackers from his lunch.
Mac couldn’t imagine still being the same person he was in high school. Not after everything.
Without asking for permission, Bozer moves, squatting and joining Mac on the side of a wet and dirty curb.
“You don’t…” the words are lost on Mac as he tries to get them out. “I’m fine.”
“I’m not gonna leave you on the street when it’s raining.”
“I’m a stranger.”
“We spent twelve years together at school,” Bozer counters, though ‘together’ is a strong word. They existed in the same space geographically, but outside of study hall and the one off literature class, never saw or interacted with each other. Bozer was the type of person that everyone knew for all the right reasons, and Mac for the wrong ones.
Bozer pulls his phone from his pocket after a few seconds, but just barely glances at the screen before stuffing it back. “I haven’t seen you around here for a while.”
Mac raises an eyebrow. He wasn’t the only one who left Mission City. Last Mac heard, Bozer was getting calls left and right from Hollywood. Reporters, magazine owners, the whole thing.
He’s right, of course. Mac hasn’t been back here for five years, but Bozer is the last person that Mac would’ve expected to recognize that. From Mac’s rough understanding, neither of them have called this town their home for a long few years.
“I haven’t been here for a while,” Mac eventually replies. There’s still a part of his brain that can’t quite comprehend the conversation he’s having right now. The fact that he’s even here to converse in the first place.
“How’s your grandpa?”
A hollow laugh nearly escapes through Mac’s chest. “Dead.”
“Oh, shit. Fuck, I didn’t know.”
Shaking his head, Mac looks down at the rainwater beginning to collect in the divots of the road. “It’s fine. Just happened.” It’s the only reason Mac’s back here.
“Hey, listen, I know you’re probably going to say no to this, but just hear me out, okay?” Bozer doesn’t wait for Mac’s approval to continue, “Come back to my house with me.”
“Boze-”
“Just warm up, eat some food. My parents always cook too much, and I know they wouldn’t mind.”
This time, a laugh does manage to get out. Nobody’s parents want to see a sopping wet, road-rashed Mac. Nobody’s parents would even want to see a Mac that was put together- his own included.
“I’m not leaving you out here. Just- please, man. I don’t want to wake up to my dad saying that they found your body tomorrow morning, okay?”
“You won’t.”
“Please.” Evidently, Bozer’s not above begging. “If you don’t come with me, I’ll end up telling my dad anyway, and you’d end up spending the night in the station anyway. You’ll at least get a home cooked meal this way.”
Mac bites the inside of his cheeks hard enough that he tastes blood.
“Mac-”
“Fine.”
“Yeah?”
Exhaling, Mac gives him a nod. “Yeah.”
#i care a little too much about the idea of people finding each other in every universe. can you. can you tell#sometimes you just get the sense that in every way#every form. people are going to find each other and people are going to help each other#i just think it's neat :)#anyway i have no sense of where this came from BUT:#moderately-famous director wilt bozer + wet sad blorbo mac feat. abandonment issues and a dead grandfather#where's jack? who knows. inevitably somewhere around the corner; that's for sure#where's riley? who knows. seconds away from finding these two though#anyway. as proclaimed earlier: bone apple tea i should be writing my thesis but instead did this instead#who wants to hear about the invA gene in salmonella raise your hand#in which vi actually writes#macgyver#macgyver 2016
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Mikey x reader
Late night rides
Anime/Manga: Tokyo revengers
"It's 3AM what do you want Mikey? Nooooooo. I was asleep you idiot. What??? Now? Fine." hanging up your phone you stare at the ceiling. "Why can't he annoy Draken at this time?"
You put on some jeans and a hoodie as you sneak out of the front door as quiet ay possible.
"Hey (y/n)!" Mikey greets you, not caring for the time at akk.
"Shhhht you dumbass." you shush him, hands over his mouth. "My parents aren't as chill as your grandpa."
"Yeah yeah, put this on." he hands you his helmet before you drive off to a destination only he knows. /Why did I get out off bed for this? My warm comfy bed. Mikeys back is warm as well. I might just/
"We're almost there." Mikey wakes you from your thoughts as you leave the town behind you.
"Where is there?"
"You'll see." Mikey laughs, enjoying the late ride. That boy would live on his bike if he could, well he did fell asleep on it more than once, not while driving, so he actually could.
"The sea?" you question, still sitting on the bike.
"Tada." Mikey points his hands towards the sea while smiling like an idiot.
"Mikey... you woke me up at 3AM on a school night for the sea?" you get off the bike, not sure whether to throw the helmet at him or not.
"Yep." he proudly announces.
"Why?"
"Because tonight is the perfect night to see the milky-way." his hands now point at the sky which you haven't given much attention until now. And he was correct.
"Wow."
"I even bought a towel so we could lay on the beach. Come on it'll be fun." Mikey takes your hand as you walk a bit, before sitting down on the towel.
"This is really amazing." you mumble, eyes glued to the star filled sky.
"Isn't this better than sleep?" Mikey asks with a smile.
"It is. But thanks to you I'll probably fall asleep during the lessons." you scold him.
"Just skip school." he casually answers, laying his head on your lap as he looks up at the sky. "Life is too short to do things you don't like."
"Mikey as inspiring that sounds I can't just quit school. I'd like to go to college some day." you remind him, laying back as well.
"But why? College is boring, school is boring." he closes his eyes as you start playing with his hair.
"It is, but I wanna become a surgeon."
"You know how much you gotta study for that? Are you alright???"
"If I were a surgeon then maybe I could've saved Baji." you stop your hand for a second, resting it on Mikeys head. "You guys always get yourselfs in trouble, Draken nearly died. I can't just watch you guys doing that over and over again. I've always loved anatomy, but after the last incident I've set my goal."
"You're really determined to do so, I see." Mikey smiles quietly to himself. "It's your way of protecting your friends."
"It is. That doesn't mean that you can get yourself on deaths doorstep each day, got it." you squish his cheek.
"Yeah yeah got it, not before sore finished." he jokes and instantly regrets it as you remove your hand from his hair. "No no I'm sorry, please continue."
He may be the boss of Toman but he loves when you play with his hair. Sometimes you really forget that he's just 15.
"Are you cold?" Mikey asks after some confortable silence.
"Mhm? Now that you say it yes."
"You've been shivering how didn't you notice." he starts laughing as he sits up and hands you his jacket.
"Won't you-"
"No were not gonna discuss that again. Wear my jacket." Mikey cuts you off, smiling proudly as you put it in.
Laying back down you keep admiring the milky way as you talk about everything and nothing and the things in between.
"It's already 5AM, shit I gotta get home." you notice as you check your phone.
"Awww, already?" Manjiro sulks, but doesn't interfere as you gather the towel. Casually intertwining your hands he walks back with you towards his bike. The ride home goes way to fast for your liking, if it weren't for school you'd wanna drive until sunrise.
"And wasn't this worth it?" Mikey asks as he gets off his bike.
"Yeah, but not totally. I still miss something." you say as you think to yourself /Don't chicken out this time/
"Huh? Did you lose your phone?" he panics.
"No Mikey." you exhale loudly. "I meant something... like a... kiss?" /Oh damn I did it/ "Can I get a kiss?"
"A kiss? But we aren't even together yeoooooh." his realization kicks in a little too late. "Are you sure that you want this?"
"Yes. I like you." you confess as short as possible. All the tries in front of the mirror made you come to the conclusion that long confessions turn you into an awkward mess.
"I don't recommend that."
"So you don't like me back then?"
"No! I love you but, I'm a mess how can you like me?" Mikey looks at the ground.
"You're not fair. You haven't answered my question yet and already ask one."
"Huh?"
"Can I kiss you?" you repeat your question.
"Yes." Mikey consents, barely above a whisper.
Closing your eyes you pull him closer by his neck as your lips find his. Your tiredness leaving your body as your heart is set on fire. His lips are softer than you expected.
"Now my question." he requests, forehead leaning against yours.
"Mikey, you may be a mess but so am I. And I like the mess that you are." you laugh, heart still beating as crazy as ever.
"My turn~ Can we kiss again?"
"Yes please." Mikey nods before connecting his lips with yours again, both addicted to the taste of the other. Both of his arms around your hips while you're still sitting on his bike you really don't wanna get off the bike now.
*15 minutes of making out on his bike later*
"Isn't this better than sleeping?" Mikey asks as your lips part, his hair a complete mess.
"I could be making out in my dream with you as well, without having to leave my bed." you tease him, not wanting to go to bed and school. "We can cuddle in my bed."
Oh he loves that suggestion, so you sneak threw the door and cuddle up in your bed, not caring about what happens when you wake up. His arms wrapped around you in your warm bed is all you need think about.
Bonus:
"Huh?" you turn off your alarm, completely lost, only to notice the arms around you waist and Manjiro sleeping next to you. "Oh."
"(y/n)? Are you awake?" your mom asks as her steps get louder.
"Oh shit." you try to hide Mikey under the blanket and pillows.
"So you're awake, hurry or you'll be late for school." she leaves your room again. "Oh and tell Manjiro that he should hide his shoes next time he sneaks in."
"Fuck." you groan, waking up Mikey.
"Morning. What's up?"
" You're an idiot."
"But you said you love me."
"You're an idiot, that I love."
#Tokyo revengers#tokyo revengers x reader#Mikey x reader#sano manjiro one shot#Manjiro sano x reader#Manjiro x reader#Tokyo revengers one shot#Mikey fluff
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Jacob Portman/Male!Reader Drabble
I literally love him so much
He's just amazing
Argument won't be word for word because I finished the books a WHILE ago
Okay this is kind of like a parallel to one of my Emma fics where it's made up time whenever he and Emma break up
Summary: You talk to Jacob in the car whenever he and Emma have their fight.
You had woken up slightly in the dim light of the car. It was parked under a big bridge, and it was coaxing you back to sleep whenever you heard hushed voices in the front seat.
Not opening your eyes so you could eavesdrop, you listened to the strained whispering. Emma and Jacob were in the front seat, you remembered. You always found it intriguing when they fought due to the fact that you had a natural pull to the home-wrecking newcomer.
"You only see me as my grandpa! Just admit that's how it's always been; you aren't over him!" Jacob hissed.
"Jacob, I don't think of you as Abe! You're your own person, and I'm more over Abe than I ever have been." Emma seemed like she was starting to get exasperated with him.
Jacob huffed. "Sure you do. That's exactly why you tried to call him."
"You're obviously not listening to me. I'm going out of the car to get some air before we wake Enoch and don't hear the end of it." She slammed open the car door and got out.
"Yeah, you're obviously worried about not waking everybody." Jacob muttered.
You chuckled lightly and opened your eyes. The look on his face was priceless. It betrayed how angry he was, but there was also another look in his eyes that you couldn't really place.
"You both woke me up a while ago." You explained. "I heard everything."
Jacob turned back forward to look out the window solemnly. "I just don't know what to do anymore."
You drummed your fingers on the car door, trying to think of something to console him. You really didn't have much to say though; it's not like you cared that they broke up. You were pretty happy actually.
"Well, you want to know what I think?" You asked.
"Not really, but go ahead."
"I think that you both are a little bit stupid."
Jacob turned back to look at you with a dumbfounded look. You stared at him right back, definitely not backing down on this one.
"That's right; you're stupid. You, Jacob, are stupid for thinking a girl who dated your grandfather would think of you any different. And Emma is stupid for thinking she was over him."
"Wise words, I guess." Jacob rolled his eyes at your explanation.
"No, true words." You smiled.
Taking a leap of faith, you reached your hand over and put it on top of his that was resting on the middle console between you. He looked down at your hands, furrowing his brows.
"Just, you know, for moral support." You shrugged and a sly smile reached your face.
Despite his earlier worries, Jacob smiled too.
#fanfiction#mphfpc#male reader#miss peregrines home for peculiar children#fanfic#jacob portman#miss peregrine book#jacob portman x you#jacob portman x male reader#jacob portman x reader
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Sebek 5
Summary: It was through food that Sebek realizes just how he can never be fully fae, nor fully human.
(Finally, my area is cool! I can be in the kitchen! And cook without risking heat exhaustion! Anyways have this Sebek piece with my own headcanons.)
A few weeks before his dad’s birthday, Sebek’s dearest mother went out of her way to book a reservation for a restaurant outside the Briar Valley for him to enjoy. At the time, Sebek thought it was going to be a pain because he was going to have to wake up early so they can get there on time. Not to mention that it was a human restaurant, filled to the brim with human food. As a child, he had already confirmed to everyone with ears that he was going to hate all the food. His mother paid him no mind and simply told him to behave for his father’s sake.
But it was at that restaurant where Sebek got to taste that salmon carpaccio for the first time. He wasn’t going to eat it because his mom didn’t want to pick at it, but his nose betrayed him and he took just one bite.
Sebek demolished that dish with no mercy.
After the day was done and they were going home, Sebek asked his mom what her favorite food was while his tongue was still searching for the remnants of salmon on his teeth, but all she said was, “Your father’s laughs, whispers, and smiles are my favorite food.”
Nothing about herself, and at the time, Sebek knew that the food was simply not good to her. She ate, Sebek saw that, but she didn’t finish it. Only emptied enough of the plate to be polite.
Sebek wanted to go back to claiming that he hated human food, but he could no longer say such a thing, for he knew it would be a lie.
In fact, not even a few days later did he start to moan about wanting that salmon carpaccio again. His complains were so grating that the very next day, his siblings took him fishing just to make him shut up.
And then, one day, a few years later after his discovery of his favorite food, Sebek’s mother was in the kitchen, cooking that same salmon carpaccio he had been craving. “I wanted to experiment a little,” she said when he asked what she’s putting in the dish. Sebek didn’t know what the spices were, but they were given to her by Grandpa and various other aunts and uncles. All of them full fae. All of them regal and noble and everything Sebek wanted to be.
So he ate his mother’s creation and hated every minute it was on his tongue even though she loved it.
“I’m sorry,” she said as she ruffled his hair with a smile, “it seems you have a more human tongue than I thought.”
An apology dish. There’s this tradition among humans that Sebek knows where, in order to make an apology be sincere, you have to make them some good food.
Sebek may not like humans, but he knows when the fault lies with him. He shouldn't have acted as though you were unable to do even the littlest tasks by yourself.
Originally, he was going to grab some fabric and sew it into a nice blanket since he knows the Ramshackle dorm was a cold cave of a place, but you don’t come from his land and therefore don’t know of his traditions nor the weight of what they mean.
Sebek didn’t expect you to understand, being a mere human, so he felt it better to do something that was more your level. Besides, food made by someone such as him, even if he is half-human, was bound to taste better than anything you could ever make.
“Zigvolt,” you didn’t refer to him by his name, nor did you speak it with joy or reverence, you spoke it with a mere sigh, “I can’t eat this.”
“Huh?” Could it be that you had an allergy? Or that this food simply wasn’t to your taste? Did Sebek make another mistake on top of his previous one?
“That fish, and those spices, all of them come from your home right?”
“Of course!” Sebek shouted, because he can’t keep quiet about the quality of ingredients from his homeland, “It’s only natural I would use such ingredients since they fully surpass that of the regular layman ones. Not many humans have a chance to taste such things.”
“And,” you shook your head, backing away from him, “that’s the problem. Fae ingredients from the fae land, made by fae hands, making it fae food. You can eat it, but I can’t. I’d be unable to stomach human food if I ate that.”
And for a moment, Sebek almost didn’t understand what you were talking about. This dish that he made he did share with some of his other friends, but they would complain about the blandness of it, or how gross it was before laughing at how human he was.
He can’t share food with them, but surely he can share food with you, right?
“I’ll, I’ll make it again!” Sebek brought the food closer to himself, as though to shield it away, “I can get the ingredients from Sam. Just wait for me and–”
“Stop,” you rubbed at your temples, as though tired of this, as though tired of him, “Just, stop. I’m not in the mood, Zigvolt. I’ve dealt with enough faerie shenanigans for one day. I can't handle another trick.”
…trick. Yes, his kind are well known for casting tricks such as this. How could he forget?
Sebek should be proud that somewhere in him, old instincts of the fae are still alive in him, that he can do tricks like this at all. And yet, and yet!
It’s not enough. No matter where, it’s never enough.
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